Индюшачий забег — Ежегодные городские скачки на индейках превращаются в хаос, когда Картман использует сомнительные передовые научные достижения, чтобы выиграть гонку.

Предыдущая серия S28 E03 Sora не сожалеет

Следующая серия S28 E05 Полный отстой

Индюшачий забег

Turkey Trot

Сезон: 28Серия: 04

Описание

Ежегодные городские скачки на индейках превращаются в хаос, когда Картман использует сомнительные передовые научные достижения, чтобы выиграть гонку.

Субтитры

00:00:01,010 --> 00:00:03,230 ПЕРСОНАЖИ И СОБЫТИЯ ВЫМЫШЛЕНЫ, ХОТЬ И НЕ ВСЕ ГОЛОСА ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ СЫМИТИРОВАНЫ... ПЛОХО
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,420 В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,110 <i>Соберу я свой рюкзак</i>
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,080 <i>и поеду в Саус Парк.</i>
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:13,900 <i>Дружелюбный здесь народ,</i>
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,600 <i>благочестие цветёт.</i>
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,060 <i>В Саус парк ты приезжаешь</i>
00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,720 <i>и печали забываешь.</i>
00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,460 <i>Стоит только выйти в свет,</i>
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:22,190 <i>все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»</i>
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:23,640 <i>В Саус Парке не печалься,</i>
00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:25,640 <i>отдыхай и расслабляйся.</i>
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,060 <i>В Саус Парке ждут тебя</i>
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,740 <i>мои верные друзья.</i>
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,000 ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,510 ГОРОДСКОЙ СОВЕТ САУС ПАРКА
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,330 Я БЛАГОДАРНА
00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:53,040 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,860 ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:27,130 ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:30,800 ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР САУС ПАРКА РЕГИСТРАЦИЯ НА «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,970 ВХОД
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:36,140 28-Й ЕЖЕГОДНЫЙ «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,530 (Говорит по-арабски)
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,320 СТАРТ
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:56,230 ПОЧТОВОЕ ОТДЕЛЕНИЕ
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,000 МИНИСТЕРСТВО ВНУТРЕННЕЙ БЕЗОПАСНОСТИ
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:42,520 САУС ПАРК
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:58,470 ФИНИШ
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,650 КАФЕ «БРАТЬЯ ТВИК»
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:31,390 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:37,460 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,950 <i>Делает вид, что он крутой и вечно что-то постит.</i>
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:49,400 <i>Снимает кучу контента, как девочка-подросток.</i>
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:56,160 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:18:57,090 --> 00:19:02,260 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,950 САУС ПАРК
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:47,700 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,280 <i>Что ты будешь делать? Над тобой смеются все. </i>
00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:59,300 <i>Это не обойдёт твоих детей и их друзей. </i>
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:06,250 <i>Они будут петь: «Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!».</i>
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:07,460 <i>Он такой придурок!</i>
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:12,990 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>

00:00:01,010 --> 00:00:03,230 ПЕРСОНАЖИ И СОБЫТИЯ ВЫМЫШЛЕНЫ, ХОТЬ И НЕ ВСЕ ГОЛОСА ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ СЫМИТИРОВАНЫ... ПЛОХО
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,420 В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,110 <i>Соберу я свой рюкзак</i>
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,080 <i>и поеду в Саус Парк.</i>
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:13,900 <i>Дружелюбный здесь народ,</i>
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,600 <i>благочестие цветёт.</i>
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,060 <i>В Саус парк ты приезжаешь</i>
00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,720 <i>и печали забываешь.</i>
00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,460 <i>Стоит только выйти в свет,</i>
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:22,190 <i>все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»</i>
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:23,640 <i>В Саус Парке не печалься,</i>
00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:25,640 <i>отдыхай и расслабляйся.</i>
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,060 <i>В Саус Парке ждут тебя</i>
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,740 <i>мои верные друзья.</i>
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,000 ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,510 ГОРОДСКОЙ СОВЕТ САУС ПАРКА
00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:40,620 Итак, День благодарения почти настал.
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:44,930 А это значит, что на носу ежегодный «Забег индеек».
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:49,600 Почему мы не нашли ни одного спонсора для этого мероприятия?
00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:52,540 В Саус Парке тяжёлые времена, мэр.
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,020 Ни у кого нет денег.
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,310 «Фермы Надёжности» были спонсором забега,
00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,340 но, как вы знаете, «Надёжности» больше нет.
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,290 Так что мы не можем помочь.
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:04,760 Как насчёт «Шай-люшего» поп-ап магазина?
00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:06,960 Они не помогут со спонсорством?
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:10,030 Как «Шай-люший» поп-ап помогать?
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,510 Мы платить тариф!
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,240 Нам совсем конец!
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:18,610 Просто признайте, что бизнес в Саус Парке умирает, и люди теряют работу.
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:21,710 Мусор? У кого-то есть мусор?
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,540 Да, есть. Бросок!
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,960 Должно же быть какое-то решение.
00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:32,410 «Забег индеек» — единственное мероприятие, объединяющее наш город.
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:34,840 Сейчас он нужен нам как никогда.
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:40,990 Конечно, есть один спонсор, который мог бы дать Саус Парку много денег.
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:48,090 Ну, остальным же они дают.
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,230 Почему не нам?
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,274 Боже мой.
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,110 Точно!
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,330 Я БЛАГОДАРНА
00:01:57,340 --> 00:01:59,390 В этот День благодарения
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,540 готовьтесь бежать в поддержку традиций.
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:06,110 Двадцать восьмой ежегодный «Забег индеек» Саус Парка
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:07,400 спонсирует...
00:02:07,410 --> 00:02:10,790 Саудовская Аравия!
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:19,850 Это забег с начинкой из традиций Дня благодарения.
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:26,020 Первый, кто пересечёт линию финиша, получит пять тысяч долларов!
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,190 Регистрируйтесь сейчас!
00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:37,400 Возраст не важен!
00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:41,200 Неприязнь к королевской семье Саудовской Аравии строго запрещена.
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,470 Начните День благодарения со старой традиции.
00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:48,260 «Забег индеек» Саус Парка.
00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:53,040 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,780 Пять тысяч долларов, ребят.
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,870 Победитель получит пять тысяч от Саудовской Аравии!
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,610 Если кто-то и должен получить от них деньги,
00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:05,760 то это мы.
00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:08,170 Да, чел! Чё вообще за Саудовская Аравия?
00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:11,420 Побеждает один, а деньги получает вся команда?
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:11,990 Да!
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,520 Офигенно!
00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:15,020 Мы обязаны выиграть!
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,980 Нам нужно набрать людей и повысить наш шанс на победу!
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,330 Но придётся делиться с ними деньгами.
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,100 Он прав.
00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,370 У нас будет максимум пять человек.
00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:27,360 Мы не сказали, что возьмём тебя.
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,620 Ты нас замедлишь.
00:03:28,930 --> 00:03:30,250 Нет-нет-нет, поверьте.
00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:32,530 Я нужен вашей команде.
00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:35,330 Понимаете, я в этом деле эксперт.
00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:38,480 Я знаю, как мы можем получить преимущество.
00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:42,360 Толкин!
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:43,530 Привет.
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:45,000 Слушай, я хотел...
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:48,420 спросить, в чьей команде ты будешь на «Забеге индеек».
00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:49,610 На забеге?
00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:54,010 Марафон в День благодарения с призовым фондом пять тысяч долларов.
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,580 А... Я не бегун.
00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:58,760 Ага, ну да.
00:03:58,770 --> 00:04:00,210 Ну конечно ты бегун!
00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:02,270 Парни, дайте мне секунду.
00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:03,720 Что он делает?
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:04,560 Я не знаю.
00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,520 Слушай, Толкин, я в этом деле эксперт.
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,880 Люди твоей расы бегают быстрее.
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,230 Эй, Толкин, Толкин.
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,900 Чувак, ну праздник же!
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:18,600 Ты можешь помочь нуждающимся. Кенни и Стэну.
00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,080 Семья Стэна потеряла свой дом.
00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:23,130 Им очень нужны деньги,
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,590 и данные показывают, что с тобой мы не проиграем.
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,230 Помоги. Ну, в честь праздника.
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,810 Ну ладно.
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,980 Да?! Он сказал да!
00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,860 ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,030 Иисусе, Митч!
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,020 Пять тысяч за победу в «Забеге индеек»?
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,800 Да весь город захочет участвовать!
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,460 Я думал записать и свою семью.
00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,780 Деньги Саудовской Аравии не помешают.
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,140 Не выйдет. В этот день мы будем заняты.
00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:53,530 Сэр!
00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:55,580 Белый Дом снова звонит!
00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,250 Хотят забрать заключённого.
00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:58,370 Скажи, мы заняты.
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:03,020 Если не подчинимся, они отправят Пита Хегсета из министерства войны.
00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:05,160 Что за Пит Хегсет?
00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:13,870 Даа! Даа!
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,220 Всем привет, это Пит Хегсет из министерства войны!
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:24,290 Мы проникли в отделение полиции, чтобы забрать нужного нам человека!
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:28,300 Вольно, солдат!
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:34,320 Президент США требует немедленно передать мне заключённого.
00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:39,330 Я же сказал, что у меня есть связи.
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:44,210 Да, но Тоторо всё ещё должен предстать перед судом.
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:47,540 Ещё у нас скоро забег, так что это займёт пару дней.
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,780 Мужик, ты не понимаешь.
00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:52,210 Мы из министерства войны!
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,850 Мы не сдаёмся.
00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:56,840 Мы делаем своё дело! Подписывайтесь!
00:05:56,870 --> 00:05:57,970 Погнали!
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:04,330 Да, я определённо не хочу с вами связываться.
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:09,720 Давай ты просто нажмёшь секретную кнопку на полу, и все камеры откроются.
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,530 Секретную кнопку?
00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:14,560 Да, она на полу, видишь? Она... Вот она!
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,540 А теперь уноси свою задницу отсюда!
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:19,930 Ах ты!
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,460 Только попробуй снова так сделать!
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:27,130 ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:30,800 ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР САУС ПАРКА РЕГИСТРАЦИЯ НА «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,970 ВХОД
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:36,140 28-Й ЕЖЕГОДНЫЙ «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,390 Вы уже зарегистрировали команду онлайн?
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:41,890 Да, мы Джимбо и Нед.
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,940 Мы из оружейного клуба «Киванис».
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:48,490 Да, держите. Счастливого Дня благодарения и...
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,530 (Говорит по-арабски)
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,020 Я Маки. Мистер Маки, понятненько?
00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:56,490 И сколько человек в вашей команде?
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,650 Я не в команде, понятненько?
00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:02,000 Я заберу эти сладкие саудовские деньги себе.
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,020 Так, номера мы получили.
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:05,820 Чувак, тут столько людей.
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:06,960 Как мы победим?
00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:09,630 Не волнуйтесь, я изучил конкурентов.
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,260 Вон там «Ротари-клуб».
00:07:11,270 --> 00:07:13,180 В прошлый раз победили, но уже старые.
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:15,450 Вон команда поп-апа.
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:18,940 Наука говорит, что они умные, но не особо быстрые.
00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:20,100 Привет, Стэн.
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,730 Ты бежишь в этом году?
00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,210 Да. А вы тоже?
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:25,770 Конечно же! Пять тысяч долларов!
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,850 Да, конечно, у вас четверых есть шанс на победу.
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:31,660 Вообще-то нас пять.
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,180 Привет, ребята.
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,470 Увидимся на забеге!
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,220 Пока!
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,430 Девочкам преподают науку о расах?
00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:45,090 Что творится в нашей стране?
00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,050 Решимость!
00:07:48,490 --> 00:07:49,880 Сила!
00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:52,840 Способность уничтожать врагов!
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,390 Это министерство войны!
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,770 Всем привет, я Пит Хегсет.
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:03,270 Этот политкорректный либеральный город отрицает нашу власть.
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,480 Министерство войны против!
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:07,770 Пит Хегсет сделает всё возможное!
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,280 Я пришёл надирать жвачку и жевать задницы!
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:12,650 Все эти задницы!
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,630 Я сделаю всё, чтобы выполнить задачу!
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:17,740 О, вы посмотрите!
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:21,360 Президент США звонит мне прямо сейчас!
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,730 Да, мистер президент.
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,490 Хегсет!
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,920 Какой хернёй ты маешься?
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,840 Ты забрал Питера Тиля?
00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:30,430 Нам не удалось вызволить заключённого.
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,300 Местная полиция оказала сопротивление.
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,050 Чёрт возьми, у вас была одна задача!
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,970 Нужно вернуть Питера Тиля в Белый дом!
00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:40,320 Так точно, сэр!
00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,780 Нужна вся мощь министерства войны!
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,400 Все наши танки, пушки и парни!
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,510 Обеспечим.
00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:49,730 Просто достаньте заключённого любой ценой!
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:50,940 Да, чёрт возьми!
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,950 Не дай бог ты просто снимешь кучу контента.
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,740 Нужно реально пойти и что-то сделать.
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,891 Ставьте лайк и подписывайтесь.
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,920 Да, мистер президент, этот город заплатит!
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,000 Ну какой же он придурок.
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:11,154 Так, парни. Завтра здесь будет целая армия.
00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:16,530 И этот коп из мелкого городишки поймёт, что связался не с тем парнем.
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:32,940 Подготовка к забегу идёт полным ходом. И, кажется, здесь собрался весь Саус Парк.
00:09:32,950 --> 00:09:37,690 Люди надевают номера и красуются в праздничных костюмах.
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,540 Со мной начальник полиции Харрисон. Вы работаете в выходной?
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:47,020 Да, мы хотим, чтобы все были в безопасности в День благодарения.
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,800 Все должны пить воду и быть ответственными.
00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,580 Всем удачи на забеге.
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:55,340 Команде победителя достанется большая сумма денег,
00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:58,580 и некоторые полагаются на расовые исследования.
00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:01,700 В наше время многие люди не верят в науку.
00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,450 Вакцины, вызывающие аутизм,
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,010 самолёты с химикатами.
00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:07,730 Но, что касается бега, наука важна.
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,680 Многие бегуны надеются выиграть денежный приз.
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,580 Так пусть лучшая индейка победит!
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,610 Вы готовы бежать?
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,360 Вперёд, команда, давайте!
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,240 Где Толкин?
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,540 -Ты не слышал? - Что не слышал?
00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:24,990 Толкин не хочет бежать.
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,620 В смысле «Толкин не хочет бежать»?
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:32,640 Отказался по политическим причинам, когда узнал, кто спонсор.
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,120 - Вы, нахер, шутите? - Нет.
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:36,990 Никуда, блин, не уходите!
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:43,550 Добро пожаловать на двадцать восьмой ежегодный «Забег индеек»!
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:47,560 Явка замечательная.
00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:51,380 Давайте все вместе поблагодарим нашего спонсора
00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:53,090 Саудовскую Аравию!
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,320 Чёрт меня дери!
00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:07,150 Твою мать, у нас восстание «Антифа»!
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:09,530 Итак, министерство войны.
00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:12,380 Жители этого города поднимают восстание!
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:16,020 Но они не помешают нам забрать нашего человека!
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:19,260 Толкин!
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,080 Толкин?
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:22,770 Толкин!
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,020 Ты что тут делаешь?
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:30,360 Играю в ARC Raiders.
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,440 Ты не бежишь, потому что спонсор Саудовская Аравия?
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:35,280 Да, это неправильно.
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,920 «Это неправильно»?
00:11:37,150 --> 00:11:37,970 Да, неправильно.
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:39,760 «Это неправильно»?!
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:43,810 Тебе не нравится, что они сотрудничают с Америкой?
00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:45,770 Они хотят стать прогрессивными.
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:47,450 Хочешь, чтобы было как раньше?
00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:51,830 Чтобы они снова платили Кевину Харту и резали людей? Так, что ли?
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,120 Экран не видно.
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,640 Нельзя ныть из-за того, что страна хочет быть современной!
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,320 Они хотят помочь американцам с деньгами.
00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:02,194 Они оплачивают спортивные события,
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,840 а не взламывают репортёров или снимают комедии с Питом Дэвидсоном.
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,320 СТАРТ
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,320 Итак, по моей команде.
00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:24,971 На старт...
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,510 Чёрт возьми!
00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,360 Стреляют! Стреляют!
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,050 Готовьте камеры, нужен контент! Срочно!
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,970 Это Пит Хегсет из министерства войны.
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,650 По нам ведут огонь!
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,730 Жители этого города поднимают восстание!
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,520 Ставьте лайк и подписывайтесь!
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:56,230 ПОЧТОВОЕ ОТДЕЛЕНИЕ
00:12:56,430 --> 00:13:00,380 Вы можете слышать, как кричат эти либеральные террористы.
00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:01,880 Мы идём в атаку!
00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:04,520 Обычный день в министерстве войны!
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:09,410 Знал, что с 2018 женщинам в Саудовской Аравии можно водить?
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,740 Женщинам можно водить!
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,780 Это же просто лесбийская утопия!
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,860 Можно я просто отдохну в День благодарения?
00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:20,430 Ну да! Кому нужна лесбийская утопия?!
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,500 Не Толкину! Толкин хочет, чтобы геям дальше отрезали головы!
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:25,920 Так же намного лучше!
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:27,200 Ведёшь себя как мудак!
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,540 Уйди отсюда.
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,270 Ладно, Толкин, знаешь, что?
00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:38,060 Ладно. Если не хочешь, как все, поддерживать изменения Саудовской Аравии,
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,382 ты нам не нужен.
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,000 Эй!
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,030 Верни мой Xbox!
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,330 А ты отбери!
00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:00,240 Давай!
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,370 Нам нужны эти деньги!
00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:06,720 Бунтующие террористы продвигаются на север.
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:12,200 Мы планируем перехватить их вот в этой локации
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,810 и снять как можно больше контента.
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:20,200 Будьте готовы, возможно придётся снимать контент и в этом месте тоже.
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,150 Третий батальон, ваш пост будет здесь.
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,970 Будете постить в Instagram и Twitter.
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:27,810 Команда «Альфа» здесь.
00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:29,620 А команда «Браво» здесь.
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,000 МИНИСТЕРСТВО ВНУТРЕННЕЙ БЕЗОПАСНОСТИ
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,650 Всем приготовиться.
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,190 Вольно, солдат.
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,910 У вас гражданское восстание?
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:41,060 Да, мы справимся и без помощи МВБ.
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,330 Мы просто хотим быть полезными.
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,330 Этим и занимается МВБ.
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,150 Лайкните и подпишитесь.
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,857 - У нас... - О, нет-нет-нет!
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,560 Это не ваш контент.
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:53,222 Подписывайтесь на министерство войны!
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:06,160 Давай. Давай.
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,020 Ты можешь. Я могу...
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:17,810 Твою мать! Отдай мой Xbox!
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:21,280 Толкин, почему ты такой медленный?
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:24,960 Ты даже не пытаешься!
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:27,820 Я пытаюсь!
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:30,880 Я же сказал, я не бегун!
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:33,610 Нет, ты бегун!
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:36,740 Может, хватит херню нести?
00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:42,520 САУС ПАРК
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,680 Министерство войны, это МВБ.
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:56,770 Протестующие бегут к вам.
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,670 Оставайтесь на месте!
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,040 Это наш контент!
00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:02,540 Их слишком много!
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:15,660 Вот они.
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,680 Всем занять позиции!
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,810 Министерство войны не запугать!
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,060 Ждииите.
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,860 Ждииите!
00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,490 Пускаем слезоточивый газ!
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:42,970 Чувак!
00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:44,500 В какую сторону бежать?
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,630 Я ничего не вижу!
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:53,010 Толкин? Толкин?!
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,800 Куда ты делся?
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:58,470 ФИНИШ
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,650 КАФЕ «БРАТЬЯ ТВИК»
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,490 Что происходит?
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,240 Мы не знаем!
00:17:16,510 --> 00:17:19,380 Как нам бежать, если они перекрыли дорогу?
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:28,430 Я знаю только то, что у Стотчей в этом году проблемы с финансами.
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,170 Мы должны добежать до финиша!
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,140 Думаешь, вам тяжело? Мы платим тариф!
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,170 Победа — наш единственный шанс!
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,390 У кого-то есть карта забега?
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,550 Да, у меня есть.
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:40,600 Давайте.
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,140 Если здесь перекрыто,
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:48,270 то лучший способ добраться до финиша — обойти здесь.
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,291 Нет, нам лучше обойти тут, снизу.
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:52,376 С ума сошли?
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:55,420 Нельзя срезать, нас дисквалифицируют!
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,560 Лишь бы Саудовская Аравия была не против.
00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:01,740 Саудовская Аравия это одобрит?
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:05,630 Невозможно узнать, чего хочет Саудовская Аравия.
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,430 Я знаю только, что мне нужны их деньги.
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,000 Так что я выйду и рискну это сделать.
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,260 Это Пит Хегсет из министерства войны!
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,050 Наркотеррористы в бегах, и мы собираемся их уничтожить!
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,060 Дааа!
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:31,390 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:37,460 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,950 <i>Делает вид, что он крутой и вечно что-то постит.</i>
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:49,400 <i>Снимает кучу контента, как девочка-подросток.</i>
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:56,160 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:18:57,090 --> 00:19:02,260 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:10,730 Так, приятель.
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:16,320 Если мне не изменяет память, я сказал тебе убираться из моего города.
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:18,120 А, да?
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:20,820 Ну и что вы мне сделаете?
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:24,880 Ау?
00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:27,540 Эй!
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,470 Кто-нибудь?
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:30,890 Отдай Xbox!
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,010 В чём твоя проблема, чувак?
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:40,730 Ты мог устроить всем праздник.
00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:43,460 Стэну. Кенни.
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:46,180 Но тебе нужны только игры!
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:48,430 Ещё раз говорю.
00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:51,480 То, что я чёрный, не значит, что я быстрый!
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:53,850 Нет, значит!
00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:58,530 Ты просто не старался, ведь ты против общественного признания Саудовской Аравии.
00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:00,650 Как это связано с тем, что ты расист?
00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:02,110 Это я расист?!
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:07,160 Ты хочешь, чтобы журналистов и дальше распихивали по чемоданам, и это я расист?!
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,090 Я иду домой.
00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:10,580 Ну и ладно, забудь.
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,270 И забуду!
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:14,540 И буду думать что захочу!
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,170 Ладно, ты прав.
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,420 Да, я знаю!
00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:19,840 Ну, тогда наслаждайся праздником.
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:23,260 Я буду им наслаждаться, ведь не буду слушать твой бред!
00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:24,810 Ага, круто.
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:26,390 Проведи время с семьёй.
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,640 ФИНИШ
00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:36,860 О, твою мать!
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,280 Да! Наука!
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,190 Наука!
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,950 САУС ПАРК
00:20:44,850 --> 00:20:47,810 От лица Королевства Саудовская Аравия
00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:51,740 и Его Величества Мухаммеда бен Салмана Аль Сауда,
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:59,220 мы вручаем главный приз «Забега индеек» местной команде бегунов Толкина Блэка!
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:05,470 Получилось!
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,800 Вот она, видишь?
00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:10,251 Прямо... здесь!
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,531 Да-да-да, почти.
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,780 Ну всё, на сегодня закончили.
00:21:23,910 --> 00:21:25,740 Пойдём домой есть индейку.
00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,380 Сукин сын!
00:21:27,390 --> 00:21:29,280 Президент придёт за нами!
00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:31,300 Да, может быть.
00:21:31,310 --> 00:21:32,845 Суд в понедельник.
00:21:34,930 --> 00:21:37,051 Саус Парк за это заплатит.
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,268 Они все заплатят.
00:21:39,270 --> 00:21:42,930 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:47,700 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,280 <i>Что ты будешь делать? Над тобой смеются все. </i>
00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:59,300 <i>Это не обойдёт твоих детей и их друзей. </i>
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:06,250 <i>Они будут петь: «Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!».</i>
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:07,460 <i>Он такой придурок!</i>
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:12,990 <i>Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!</i>

00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,487 <i>♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,446 <i>♪ Gonna have myself a time</i>
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:16,973 <i>♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,930 <i>♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪</i>
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,675 <i>♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,808 <i>♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪</i>
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,333 <i>♪ Come on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,119 <i>♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪</i>
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,952 All right, people, it's almost Thanksgiving,
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957 and that means the annual Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,742 How is it that we haven't found one sponsor
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,961 to help pay for this event?
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,574 South Park's just fallen on hard times, Mayor.
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,401 Nobody's got the money.
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231 Tegridy Farms used to be a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,364 but as you know, we've recently all lost Tegridy.
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,540 So I'm afraid we just can't help.
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,976 What about the City Asian Pop Up Store?
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241 Can't they help sponsor this year's race?
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939 How City Asian Pop Up pay for Turkey Trot?
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593 We gotta pay tariff!
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,594 We more fucked than anybody!
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,771 Let's just face it, Mayor, South Park businesses
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,121 are dying and a lot of good people have lost their jobs.
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,820 Trash? Anybody got trash?
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606 Oh, yeah, here's some. Bank shot!
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,739 There has to be a solution, people.
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,958 The Turkey Trot is the one time of year
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,353 this town comes together as a community.
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,007 We all need it now, more than ever.
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,793 Well, of course, there is someone
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,752 who'd be willing to give South Park a bunch of money.
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,977 I mean, they're giving money to everyone else.
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,369 Why not us?
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,894 My God.
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,462 That's it!
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,554 <i>This Thanksgiving morning,</i>
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,644 <i>lace up for holiday fun and tradition.</i>
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,995 <i>It's the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot.</i>
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,387 <i>Sponsored by...</i>
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,997 <i>Saudi Arabia!</i>
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,181 <i>It's a 5K race absolutely stuffed</i>
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,922 <i>with Thanksgiving traditions.</i>
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,403 <i>And the first one across the finish line</i>
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,015 <i>wins their team $5,000!</i>
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,242 <i>Sign up your team now!</i>
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,722 <i>All ages are welcome!</i>
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,855 <i>Disparaging remarks towards the Saudi Royal family</i>
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,030 <i>are strictly prohibited.</i>
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:45,687 <i>Start your Thanksgiving with this time-honored tradition.</i>
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,644 <i>The South Park Turkey Trot.</i>
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,872 $5,000, you guys.
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,395 The winner of this year's Turkey Trot
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920 gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,401 Like, if anybody's gonna get money from Saudi Arabia,
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,794 it should be us.
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,146 And just one person has to win the race
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,495 and your whole team gets the money?
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,410 - Yeah! - Dude, that is crazy!
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,153 We should just get a bunch of kids on our team,
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,110 and then the chances of one of us winning is way better.
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,244 Yeah, but then you gotta split the prize money more ways.
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,853 It's true, man.
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,379 I say we keep our team to four, five runners, max.
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,294 Nobody said we wanted you on the team.
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,730 Yeah, you kinda slow us down.
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,297 Oh, no, no, no, trust me.
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,690 You want me on the racing team.
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,519 I happen to be an expert in race science, you guys.
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,653 I know a way to give our team an optimal winning advantage.
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,613 Tolkien!
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:43,874 Hey, man.
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,093 Listen, I was, uh--
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,574 I was just wondering whose team
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,923 you're thinking of being on for the big Turkey Trot.
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,534 - Turkey Trot? - You know, the big footrace
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,970 Thanksgiving morning?
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,321 First place wins 5,000 bucks for his whole team.
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,279 Oh. I'm not really a runner.
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,890 Yeah, right.
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,500 Of course you're a runner, Tolkien.
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,590 Sorry, guys, just give me one second.
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679 - What the hell is he doing? - I don't know.
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,940 All right, look, Tolkien,
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,725 I'm a racing science expert, OK?
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,858 The data shows your race always wins races.
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296 Whoa, whoa, Tolkien. Tolkien.
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,123 Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430 If you don't want to race for yourself,
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,736 then do it for the needy-- Kenny and Stan.
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,390 I mean, Stan's family lost their home, dude.
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,349 Those guys could really use the money,
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,307 and all the analytics show that with you on the team,
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,743 we can't lose.
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,485 Could you--could you just do it for Thanksgiving?
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096 All right, fine.
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011 Yes? He said yes!
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,148 Jesus Christ, Mitch.
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,239 A $5,000 prize for the Turkey Trot?
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,024 Everyone in town is gonna want to do this race.
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,635 I was kind of thinking of signing the family up, sir.
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,986 We could really use some of that Saudi Arabian dough.
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,857 Can't do it, Mitch. We're gonna be busy on race day.
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,205 Sir!
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,556 The White house is calling again.
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,297 They're demanding we release the prisoner.
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,559 Tell them we're busy.
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038 But they said if we don't comply,
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,562 they're gonna send in Pete Hegseth
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,303 and the Department of War.
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522 Who's Pete Hegseth?
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878 Yeah! Yeah!
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,012 Hey, what's up, guys? This is Pete Hegseth
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,666 with the Department of War!
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,799 We're here to infiltrate this police station and extract a POI
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,499 'cause that's what we do!
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764 At ease, soldier!
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679 The President of the United States orders you
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595 to release custody of the prisoner to me immediately.
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,252 I warned you I had powerful friends.
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820 Yeah, well, Totoro still has to be processed
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,430 and seen by a judge.
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,345 And we have a big Turkey Trot to deal with,
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651 so it's gonna be a few days.
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784 Hey, man, I don't think you understand.
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613 You're messing with the Department of War!
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,048 And we mean business.
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659 We don't stand down for anyone!
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,051 Be sure to like and subscribe.
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,575 All right, let's do this!
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,451 All right, I certainly don't want to tangle with you guys.
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,278 How about you just push the secret button in the floor
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,456 over here and the jail cell doors will all open.
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,197 - The secret button? - Yeah, it's in the floor.
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503 Right there, you see it?
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,245 It's right--there it is! - Ah, ah, ahh!
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,638 Now get your little bitch ass out of my town.
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,249 Oh, you--
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469 I dare you to do that again.
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049 OK, and did you already register
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,659 your racing team online?
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,879 Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,620 We're racing with the Kiwanis Gun Club.
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,274 Yes, here you go.
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,059 Good luck with the race, happy Thanksgiving,
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671 and [speaks Arabic].
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152 Uh, it's Mackey. Mr. Mackey, mmkay.
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,676 OK, Mr. Mackey, and how many on your team?
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,982 Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,290 I need that sweet Saudi Arabian money all for myself.
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,162 All right, guys, we got our racing numbers.
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,902 Damn, dude, there's so many people signing up.
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,948 How are we ever gonna win?
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123 Don't worry, you guys,
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,733 I've been scoping out the competition.
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518 That group over there is the Rotary Club.
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,389 They won last year, but they're all, like, old now.
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609 Over there is the City Pop Up team.
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132 The race science says they'll race smart,
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,960 but not necessarily fast, so we're good there.
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,351 Oh, hey, Stan.
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,745 You gonna do the Turkey Trot this year?
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,399 Yeah. You guys are too?
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967 Hell yeah, we are! $5,000!
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,882 Oh, yeah, I'm sure all four of you ladies
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,971 have a really awesome chance of winning.
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,146 There's actually five of us.
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,713 Hey, guys, what's up?
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,934 Well, we'll see you at the race.
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633 All right, see ya!
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,939 They're teaching race science to girls now?
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,029 What the hell kind of country are we living in?
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,510 <i>Commitment!</i>
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121 <i>Strength!</i>
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,516 <i>The ability to obliterate our enemies!</i>
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519 <i>That is the Department of War!</i>
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913 What's up, guys? I'm Pete Hegseth.
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,392 We're outside this woke liberal town
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439 that is actually defying our government,
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659 and nobody defies the Department of War!
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444 Pete Hegseth will do whatever it takes!
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,924 I'm here to kick bubblegum and chew ass,
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883 and I'm all outta ass.
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364 I'll do whatever's necessary to get the job done!
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975 Oh, yeah, look at that!
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282 That's the President of the United States calling me,
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326 right now!
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154 Yes, Mr. President?
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,503 Hegseth!
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983 What the fuck are you doing?
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029 Did you get Peter Thiel?
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640 No, sir, we were unable to extract the prisoner.
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,599 We were met with resistance from the woke local police force.
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211 God damn it, we gave you one job to do.
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996 We need Peter Thiel here at the White house.
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,649 Sir, yes, sir!
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,869 I'm gonna need the full might of the Department of War!
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,524 I'll need all our tanks and guns and dudes!
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,003 Then you've got it.
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746 Just get us the prisoner, no matter what it takes!
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269 Hell yeah!
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968 And Hegseth, don't just make a bunch of content.
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710 Like, actually go and do something.
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,931 Be sure to like and subscribe, guys.
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543 Yes, sir, Mr. President! I will make this town pay!
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285 God, he is such a douchebag.
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,245 All right, men, we'll have a full army here by tomorrow.
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,421 And then that smalltown cop
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381 is gonna see he messed with the wrong guy.
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263 It's the morning of the big race,
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787 and all of South Park appears to have turned out
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094 in the spirit of community.
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,878 People are putting on their numbers
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316 and rocking out their festive costumes.
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,274 I'm with Police Chief Harris,
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,842 and Chief, your guys have been working overtime.
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,670 Yeah, well, we just want to make sure
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,237 everyone has a safe Thanksgiving morning.
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806 We want people to stay hydrated and be responsible.
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895 Let's have a good Turkey Trot.
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,592 Now, of course, there's a lot of money on the line
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333 for the team of the race winner,
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,901 and so some people are turning to race science.
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,338 That's right, you know, a lot of people these days
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905 want to debunk science.
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298 You know, vaccine's cause autism,
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082 jet fuel leaves chemtrails,
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998 but when it comes to racing science, it's science.
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,871 Certainly a lot of runners hoping to cash in today,
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049 so may the best turkey win.
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,574 All right, you guys ready to run?
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,358 We got this. Come on, team, let's go!
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447 Where's Tolkien? - Oh, you didn't hear?
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753 I didn't hear what?
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:24,972 Tolkien says he's not gonna race.
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,975 What do you mean Tolkien's not going to race?
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891 He said because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia,
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,848 he's bowing out for political reasons.
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,111 - Are you fucking joking? - No.
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288 God damn it, wait here!
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:43,685 Welcome, everyone to the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot!
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,603 This is a wonderful turnout,
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:51,259 and I'm sure you'll all help me in thanking this year's sponsor,
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,086 Saudi Arabia!
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,312 Holy shit!
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,361 Holy shit, we've got an Antifa uprising!
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,756 All right, Department of War, listen up!
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,628 The people of this town are starting an insurrection!
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,458 But they will not stand in the way of us getting our man!
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,114 Tolkien!
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,941 Tolkien?
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:22,986 Tolkien!
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,123 Dude, what the hell are you doing?
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,559 Playing "Arc Raiders."
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,820 The guys said you're not gonna race
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,518 because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia?
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,390 Yeah, just doesn't feel right.
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261 "It doesn't feel right"?
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,787 - Yeah, doesn't feel right. - "It doesn't feel right"?
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,527 What, Tolkien, you don't like that Saudi Arabia
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,963 is buying American stuff?
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,661 They're trying to be progressive, OK?
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,793 You want them to go back to what they were doing?
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,883 You want Saudi Arabia to just go back to cutting people up
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,971 and paying Kevin Hart? Is that what you want?
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,407 I can't see the screen.
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,801 Tolkien, you can't whine about a country
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,628 trying to come into the 21st century.
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,413 Them wanting to help pay for American things is good.
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,371 'Cause guess what? If Saudi Arabia is out
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,590 paying for sporting events,
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,810 they're not out hacking up reporters
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,899 and inviting Pete Davidson to come do comedy.
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,605 All right, everyone, on your mark...
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266 Get set...
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,451 Holy shit!
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,714 Shots fired! Shots fired!
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:42,457 Get set up over there! We need content! Now!
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,980 What's up, guys? Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,635 We are being fired upon!
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,464 There's an uprising here. Some kind of insurrection.
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,596 Make sure to like and subscribe!
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,212 You can hear the liberal terrorists
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,431 all screaming and chanting behind us.
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,998 We're gonna take 'em on!
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,565 Just another day in the Department of War!
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,826 Let's move out!
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,089 Did you know that since 2018,
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,527 they actually allow women to drive in Saudi Arabia?
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,312 They allow women to drive!
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,663 It's like practically a lesbian utopia over there.
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,144 Can you please just let me enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,494 Oh, yeah, sure, who cares about lesbian utopia?
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,714 Not Tolkien. Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,498 to just keep chopping off gay people's heads.
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,022 That's way better, isn't it?
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,764 You're being a dick, bro. - Go away.
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,506 All right, Tolkien, you know what?
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,726 Fine. If you really don't want to be
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,077 a part of our country embracing Saudi Arabia's desire to change,
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,819 then we don't need you.
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,607 Hey!
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,827 Hey, gimme back my Xbox!
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,221 Come get it, asshole!
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,534 Come on.
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493 Come on, we gotta get that money.
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,626 The rioting terrorists appear to be advancing
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281 north, northeast.
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,978 Our plan, gentlemen,
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,328 is to intercept them at this location here,
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,157 and get as much content as we possibly can.
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,334 It's quite possible we'll also be needing to get content
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,163 in this area, so be ready.
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,296 Third Battalion, you'll be posting up here.
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,082 I want you posting on Instagram and Twitter.
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,867 Alpha Team post here.
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,651 Bravo Team content there.
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656 All right, everyone, stand by.
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,352 At ease, soldier.
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,224 We heard there's a civilian uprising.
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,314 Yeah, we don't need Homeland Security's help.
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,098 We got it. - We're just here to assist
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,360 in any way we can.
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,319 That's what Homeland Security does.
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,146 Be sure to like and subscribe, guys.
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,931 We've got a-- - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,801 This is not your content.
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,717 Everyone like and subscribe to Department of War!
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,905 Come on. Come on.
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,123 You got this. I got it.
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,134 God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,703 Tolkien, how can you not catch up to me?
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,403 You're not even trying!
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,970 I am trying!
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:32,191 I told you, I'm not a runner!
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,628 Yes, you are!
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,023 Will you stop fucking around?
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,605 Homeland Security to Department of War.
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,825 The protestors are headed your way.
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,610 Stand down, Homeland Security.
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,220 This is our content.
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,570 There's too many of 'em!
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,843 Here they come.
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,412 Everyone, hold your positions!
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,805 Department of War will not be intimidated!
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,115 Hold.
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,858 Hold!
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,644 Fire the tear gas! Yeah!
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,263 Dude.
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,699 Dude, which way are we supposed to go?
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,615 I can't--I can't see nothing.
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,186 Tolkien? Tolkien!
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,797 Where the hell did you go?
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,077 What the hell's going on?
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,469 We don't know.
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,037 Well, how the hell are we supposed to race
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,298 if they've blocked the road?
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740 Look, all I know is that
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,351 the Stotch family is in big financial trouble this year.
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,397 We have to reach that finish line.
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,139 You think you fucked? We gotta pay tariff!
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,358 That prize money is our only chance.
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,056 Does anyone have a Turkey Trot route map?
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,709 Yeah, I've got one here.
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:40,624 All right, let's see.
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,238 So if this area's all blocked off,
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935 then our best chance at getting to the finish line
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,371 is detouring through here.
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,591 No, no, we should go this way through the underpass.
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,723 Are you crazy? That's too much of a shortcut.
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,596 We could get disqualified.
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,947 All that matters is that it's OK with Saudi Arabia.
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,603 Would going this way be OK with Saudi Arabia?
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,997 There's no way to be sure what Saudi Arabia wants.
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,262 All I know is, I need their money.
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,743 So I'm gonna go out there and take my chances.
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010 What's up, guys?
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,533 Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,362 We've got the Narco terrorists on the run
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885 and we're gonna take 'em out.
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,365 Yeah!
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:32,633 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:38,595 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,205 <i>♪ Acting like a tough guy ♪</i>
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:44,774 <i>♪ Posting it around the world ♪</i>
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,212 <i>♪ Making lots of content</i>
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:50,651 <i>♪ Like a little teenage girl ♪</i>
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:57,483 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth's a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:01,574 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,672 All right, buddy.
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,455 I don't know what you think you're doing,
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,372 but I'm pretty sure I told you to get the hell out of my town.
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,504 Oh, yeah?
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,811 Well, what do you think you're gonna do about it?
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,469 Hello?
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,427 Hello?
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,819 Anybody?
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,952 Give me my Xbox!
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,345 Ah!
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,306 What is your problem, man?
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657 You could've made this an amazing Thanksgiving.
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:44,225 For Stan. For Kenny.
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,272 But you just wanna play games.
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,622 For the last time,
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,494 just because I'm Black doesn't mean I run fast!
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,105 Yes, you do.
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,369 You just weren't trying because you have a problem
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,719 with Saudia Arabia joining the global community.
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,721 That has nothing to do with you being a racist.
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,243 Oh, I'm a racist?
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,853 You want Saudi Arabia
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,029 to just keep stuffing journalists into suitcases,
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,248 but I'm the racist!
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,207 I'm going home.
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,296 OK, fine, forget it.
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,689 Yeah, I will forget it!
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648 And I can think whatever I want!
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215 OK, you're right, Tolkien.
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,433 Yeah, I know I'm right!
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,652 OK, that's cool.
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,087 Have a good Thanksgiving, man.
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,523 I will have a good Thanksgiving
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,309 'cause I won't be listening to your stupid bullshit!
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:24,919 Yep, sounds good.
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,355 Enjoy the holidays with your loved ones.
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887 Oh, God damn it.
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281 Yes! Race science!
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240 Race science!
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,898 On behalf of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:51,945 and His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,470 this year's Turkey Trot grand prize
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,516 goes to the team of South Park's very own
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,953 Tolkien Black!
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,742 We did it, dude.
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,919 <i>It's right there. You see it?</i>
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,574 It's right there!
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272 There you go. Almost there.
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,934 All right, guys, that about wraps it up.
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,806 Let's get home and eat some turkey.
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,502 You son of a bitch!
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,288 The president will come for us!
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,289 Yeah, maybe so.
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,769 Judge will see you Monday.
00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,556 South Park's gonna pay for this.
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,646 They're all gonna pay.

00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:09,139 <i>[theme music]</i>
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,487 <i>- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,446 <i>♪ Gonna have myself a time</i>
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883 - ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:16,973 <i>- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,930 <i>♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪</i>
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,675 <i>- ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,808 <i>♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪</i>
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:29,115 - ♪ [mumbling] ♪
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,333 <i>- ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,119 <i>♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪</i>
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,733 <i>[twangy music]</i>
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,952 - All right, people, it's almost Thanksgiving,
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957 and that means the annual Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,742 How is it that we haven't found one sponsor
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,961 to help pay for this event?
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,574 - South Park's just fallen on hard times, Mayor.
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,401 Nobody's got the money.
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231 - Tegridy Farms used to be a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,364 but as you know, we've recently all lost Tegridy.
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,540 So I'm afraid we just can't help.
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,976 - What about the City Asian Pop Up Store?
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241 Can't they help sponsor this year's race?
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939 - How City Asian Pop Up pay for Turkey Trot?
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593 We gotta pay tariff!
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,594 We more fucked than anybody!
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,771 - Let's just face it, Mayor, South Park businesses
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,121 are dying and a lot of good people have lost their jobs.
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,820 - Trash? Anybody got trash?
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606 - Oh, yeah, here's some. Bank shot!
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,739 - There has to be a solution, people.
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,958 The Turkey Trot is the one time of year
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,353 this town comes together as a community.
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,007 We all need it now, more than ever.
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,793 - Well, of course, there is someone
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,752 who'd be willing to give South Park a bunch of money.
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:44,974 <i>[curious music]</i>
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,977 I mean, they're giving money to everyone else.
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,369 Why not us?
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,674 <i>[music ends]</i>
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,894 - My God.
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,462 That's it!
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,554 <i>ANNOUNCER: This Thanksgiving morning,</i>
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,644 <i>lace up for holiday fun and tradition.</i>
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,995 <i>It's the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot.</i>
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,387 <i>Sponsored by...</i>
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,997 <i>Saudi Arabia!</i>
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,913 <i>[Arabic music playing]</i>
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:15,657 <i>♪</i>
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,181 <i>It's a 5K race absolutely stuffed</i>
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,922 <i>with Thanksgiving traditions.</i>
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,663 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,403 <i>And the first one across the finish line</i>
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,015 <i>wins their team $5,000!</i>
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:33,153 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,242 <i>Sign up your team now!</i>
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,722 <i>All ages are welcome!</i>
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,855 <i>Disparaging remarks towards the Saudi Royal family</i>
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,030 <i>are strictly prohibited.</i>
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:45,687 <i>Start your Thanksgiving with this time-honored tradition.</i>
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,644 <i>The South Park Turkey Trot.</i>
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,821 <i>[singers vocalizing]</i>
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,872 - $5,000, you guys.
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,395 The winner of this year's Turkey Trot
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920 gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,401 Like, if anybody's gonna get money from Saudi Arabia,
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,794 it should be us.
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,665 - [muffled speech]
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,146 - And just one person has to win the race
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,495 and your whole team gets the money?
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,410 - Yeah! - Dude, that is crazy!
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,324 - [muffled speech]
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,153 - We should just get a bunch of kids on our team,
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,110 and then the chances of one of us winning is way better.
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,244 - Yeah, but then you gotta split the prize money more ways.
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,853 - It's true, man.
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,379 I say we keep our team to four, five runners, max.
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,294 - Nobody said we wanted you on the team.
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,730 Yeah, you kinda slow us down.
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,297 - Oh, no, no, no, trust me.
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,690 You want me on the racing team.
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,519 I happen to be an expert in race science, you guys.
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,653 I know a way to give our team an optimal winning advantage.
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,613 - Tolkien!
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:43,874 Hey, man.
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,093 Listen, I was, uh--
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,574 I was just wondering whose team
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,923 you're thinking of being on for the big Turkey Trot.
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,534 - Turkey Trot? - You know, the big footrace
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,970 Thanksgiving morning?
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,321 First place wins 5,000 bucks for his whole team.
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,279 - Oh. I'm not really a runner.
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,890 - Yeah, right.
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,500 Of course you're a runner, Tolkien.
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,590 Sorry, guys, just give me one second.
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679 - What the hell is he doing? - I don't know.
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,940 - All right, look, Tolkien,
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,725 I'm a racing science expert, OK?
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,858 The data shows your race always wins races.
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,468 [locker slams]
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296 Whoa, whoa, Tolkien. Tolkien.
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,123 Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430 If you don't want to race for yourself,
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,736 then do it for the needy-- Kenny and Stan.
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,390 I mean, Stan's family lost their home, dude.
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,349 Those guys could really use the money,
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,307 and all the analytics show that with you on the team,
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,743 we can't lose.
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,485 Could you--could you just do it for Thanksgiving?
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096 - All right, fine.
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011 - Yes? He said yes!
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,929 <i>[suspenseful music]</i>
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,148 - Jesus Christ, Mitch.
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,239 A $5,000 prize for the Turkey Trot?
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,024 Everyone in town is gonna want to do this race.
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,635 - I was kind of thinking of signing the family up, sir.
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,986 We could really use some of that Saudi Arabian dough.
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,857 - Can't do it, Mitch. We're gonna be busy on race day.
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,205 COP: Sir!
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,556 The White house is calling again.
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,297 They're demanding we release the prisoner.
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,559 - Tell them we're busy.
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038 - But they said if we don't comply,
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,562 they're gonna send in Pete Hegseth
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,303 and the Department of War.
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522 - Who's Pete Hegseth?
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878 - Yeah! Yeah!
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,012 Hey, what's up, guys? This is Pete Hegseth
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,666 with the Department of War!
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,799 We're here to infiltrate this police station and extract a POI
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,499 'cause that's what we do! [barking]
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764 At ease, soldier!
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679 The President of the United States orders you
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595 to release custody of the prisoner to me immediately.
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,252 - I warned you I had powerful friends.
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820 - Yeah, well, Totoro still has to be processed
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,430 and seen by a judge.
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,345 And we have a big Turkey Trot to deal with,
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651 so it's gonna be a few days.
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784 - Hey, man, I don't think you understand.
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613 You're messing with the Department of War!
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,048 And we mean business.
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659 We don't stand down for anyone!
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,051 Be sure to like and subscribe.
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,575 All right, let's do this! [barking]
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,451 - All right, I certainly don't want to tangle with you guys.
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,278 How about you just push the secret button in the floor
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,456 over here and the jail cell doors will all open.
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,197 - The secret button? - Yeah, it's in the floor.
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503 Right there, you see it?
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,245 It's right--there it is! - Ah, ah, ahh!
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,638 - Now get your little bitch ass out of my town.
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,249 - Oh, you--
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469 I dare you to do that again.
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,646 [screams]
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:30,172 [indistinct chatter]
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049 - OK, and did you already register
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,659 your racing team online?
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,879 - Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,620 We're racing with the Kiwanis Gun Club.
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,274 - Yes, here you go.
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,059 Good luck with the race, happy Thanksgiving,
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671 and [speaks Arabic].
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152 - Uh, it's Mackey. Mr. Mackey, mmkay.
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,676 OK, Mr. Mackey, and how many on your team?
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,982 - Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,290 I need that sweet Saudi Arabian money all for myself.
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,162 - All right, guys, we got our racing numbers.
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,902 - Damn, dude, there's so many people signing up.
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,948 How are we ever gonna win?
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123 - Don't worry, you guys,
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,733 I've been scoping out the competition.
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518 That group over there is the Rotary Club.
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,389 They won last year, but they're all, like, old now.
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609 - Over there is the City Pop Up team.
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132 The race science says they'll race smart,
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,960 but not necessarily fast, so we're good there.
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,351 WENDY: Oh, hey, Stan.
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,745 You gonna do the Turkey Trot this year?
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,399 - Yeah. You guys are too?
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967 - Hell yeah, we are! $5,000!
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,882 - Oh, yeah, I'm sure all four of you ladies
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,971 have a really awesome chance of winning.
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,146 - There's actually five of us.
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,713 - Hey, guys, what's up?
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,932 <i>[dramatic sting]</i>
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,934 - Well, we'll see you at the race.
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633 - All right, see ya!
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,939 - They're teaching race science to girls now?
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,029 What the hell kind of country are we living in?
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,510 <i>HEGSETH: Commitment!</i>
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121 <i>Strength!</i>
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,516 <i>The ability to obliterate our enemies!</i>
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519 <i>That is the Department of War!</i>
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913 What's up, guys? I'm Pete Hegseth.
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,392 We're outside this woke liberal town
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439 that is actually defying our government,
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659 and nobody defies the Department of War!
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444 Pete Hegseth will do whatever it takes!
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,924 I'm here to kick bubblegum and chew ass,
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883 and I'm all outta ass.
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364 I'll do whatever's necessary to get the job done!
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,495 [phone ringing]
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975 Oh, yeah, look at that!
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282 That's the President of the United States calling me,
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326 right now!
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154 Yes, Mr. President?
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,503 - Hegseth!
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983 What the fuck are you doing?
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029 Did you get Peter Thiel?
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640 No, sir, we were unable to extract the prisoner.
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,599 We were met with resistance from the woke local police force.
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211 - God damn it, we gave you one job to do.
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996 We need Peter Thiel here at the White house.
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,649 - Sir, yes, sir!
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,869 I'm gonna need the full might of the Department of War!
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,524 I'll need all our tanks and guns and dudes!
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,003 - Then you've got it.
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746 Just get us the prisoner, no matter what it takes!
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269 - Hell yeah!
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968 - And Hegseth, don't just make a bunch of content.
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710 Like, actually go and do something.
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,931 - [quietly] Be sure to like and subscribe, guys.
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543 Yes, sir, Mr. President! I will make this town pay!
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285 - God, he is such a douchebag.
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,245 - All right, men, we'll have a full army here by tomorrow.
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,421 And then that smalltown cop
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381 is gonna see he messed with the wrong guy.
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263 - It's the morning of the big race,
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787 and all of South Park appears to have turned out
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094 in the spirit of community.
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,878 People are putting on their numbers
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316 and rocking out their festive costumes.
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,274 I'm with Police Chief Harris,
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,842 and Chief, your guys have been working overtime.
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,670 - Yeah, well, we just want to make sure
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,237 everyone has a safe Thanksgiving morning.
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806 We want people to stay hydrated and be responsible.
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895 Let's have a good Turkey Trot.
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,592 - Now, of course, there's a lot of money on the line
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333 for the team of the race winner,
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,901 and so some people are turning to race science.
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,338 - That's right, you know, a lot of people these days
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905 want to debunk science.
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298 You know, vaccine's cause autism,
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082 jet fuel leaves chemtrails,
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998 but when it comes to racing science, it's science.
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,871 - Certainly a lot of runners hoping to cash in today,
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049 so may the best turkey win.
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,574 - All right, you guys ready to run?
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,358 We got this. Come on, team, let's go!
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447 Where's Tolkien? - Oh, you didn't hear?
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753 - I didn't hear what?
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:24,972 - Tolkien says he's not gonna race.
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,975 - What do you mean Tolkien's not going to race?
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891 - He said because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia,
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,848 he's bowing out for political reasons.
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,111 - Are you fucking joking? - No.
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288 - God damn it, wait here!
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:43,685 - Welcome, everyone to the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot!
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,644 [cheers and applause]
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,603 This is a wonderful turnout,
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:51,259 and I'm sure you'll all help me in thanking this year's sponsor,
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,086 Saudi Arabia!
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,742 [cheers and applause]
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,312 - Holy shit!
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,361 Holy shit, we've got an Antifa uprising!
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,756 All right, Department of War, listen up!
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,628 The people of this town are starting an insurrection!
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,458 But they will not stand in the way of us getting our man!
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:18,460 [knocking on door]
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,114 ERIC: Tolkien!
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,941 Tolkien?
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:22,986 Tolkien!
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,508 [banging on door]
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:25,510 [door opens]
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,123 Dude, what the hell are you doing?
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,559 - Playing "Arc Raiders."
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,820 - The guys said you're not gonna race
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,518 because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia?
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,390 - Yeah, just doesn't feel right.
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261 - "It doesn't feel right"?
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,787 - Yeah, doesn't feel right. - "It doesn't feel right"?
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,527 What, Tolkien, you don't like that Saudi Arabia
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,963 is buying American stuff?
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,661 They're trying to be progressive, OK?
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,793 You want them to go back to what they were doing?
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,883 You want Saudi Arabia to just go back to cutting people up
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,971 and paying Kevin Hart? Is that what you want?
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,407 - I can't see the screen.
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,801 - Tolkien, you can't whine about a country
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,628 trying to come into the 21st century.
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,413 Them wanting to help pay for American things is good.
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,371 'Cause guess what? If Saudi Arabia is out
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,590 paying for sporting events,
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,810 they're not out hacking up reporters
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,899 and inviting Pete Davidson to come do comedy.
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,605 - All right, everyone, on your mark...
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266 Get set...
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,014 [gunshot]
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,451 - Holy shit!
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,714 Shots fired! Shots fired!
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:42,457 Get set up over there! We need content! Now!
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,980 What's up, guys? Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,635 We are being fired upon!
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,464 There's an uprising here. Some kind of insurrection.
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,596 Make sure to like and subscribe!
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,556 [indistinct happy chatter]
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,212 - You can hear the liberal terrorists
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,431 all screaming and chanting behind us.
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,998 We're gonna take 'em on!
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,565 Just another day in the Department of War!
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,826 Let's move out!
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,089 - Did you know that since 2018,
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,527 they actually allow women to drive in Saudi Arabia?
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,312 They allow women to drive!
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,663 It's like practically a lesbian utopia over there.
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,144 - Can you please just let me enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,494 - Oh, yeah, sure, who cares about lesbian utopia?
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,714 Not Tolkien. Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,498 to just keep chopping off gay people's heads.
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,022 That's way better, isn't it?
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,764 You're being a dick, bro. - Go away.
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,506 - All right, Tolkien, you know what?
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,726 Fine. If you really don't want to be
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,077 a part of our country embracing Saudi Arabia's desire to change,
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,819 then we don't need you.
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,607 - Hey!
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,827 Hey, gimme back my Xbox!
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,221 - Come get it, asshole!
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:55,486 [footsteps thudding]
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,534 - Come on.
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493 Come on, we gotta get that money.
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,626 - The rioting terrorists appear to be advancing
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281 north, northeast.
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,978 Our plan, gentlemen,
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,328 is to intercept them at this location here,
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,157 and get as much content as we possibly can.
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,334 It's quite possible we'll also be needing to get content
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,163 in this area, so be ready.
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,296 Third Battalion, you'll be posting up here.
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,082 I want you posting on Instagram and Twitter.
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,867 Alpha Team post here.
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,651 Bravo Team content there.
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,697 [tires squealing]
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656 - All right, everyone, stand by.
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,352 At ease, soldier.
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,224 We heard there's a civilian uprising.
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,314 - Yeah, we don't need Homeland Security's help.
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,098 We got it. - We're just here to assist
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,360 in any way we can.
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,319 That's what Homeland Security does.
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,146 Be sure to like and subscribe, guys.
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,931 We've got a-- - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,801 This is not your content.
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,717 Everyone like and subscribe to Department of War!
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:56,678 [cheering]
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,425 - [panting]
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,905 - Come on. Come on.
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,123 You got this. I got it.
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:11,387 [cheering]
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:14,957 - [panting]
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,134 - God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,703 - Tolkien, how can you not catch up to me?
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,618 [pants]
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,403 You're not even trying!
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,970 - I am trying!
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:32,191 I told you, I'm not a runner!
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,628 - Yes, you are!
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,023 Will you stop fucking around?
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,605 - Homeland Security to Department of War.
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,825 The protestors are headed your way.
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,610 - Stand down, Homeland Security.
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,220 This is our content.
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,570 - There's too many of 'em!
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,964 [dog barking]
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,968 [gunfire] [dog whimpers]
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,843 - Here they come.
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,412 Everyone, hold your positions!
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,805 Department of War will not be intimidated!
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,115 Hold.
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,858 Hold!
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,644 Fire the tear gas! Yeah!
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:35,864 [cannister clatters]
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,954 [all shouting and coughing]
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,263 - [coughing] Dude.
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,699 Dude, which way are we supposed to go?
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,615 - [coughing] I can't--I can't see nothing.
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:51,270 - [coughing]
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,186 - Tolkien? Tolkien!
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,797 - [coughing] Where the hell did you go?
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,238 [distant booming and shouting]
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:13,031 [bell dings] - [coughing]
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,077 What the hell's going on?
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,469 - We don't know.
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,037 - Well, how the hell are we supposed to race
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,298 if they've blocked the road?
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,082 [thudding]
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,911 [squeaking]
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740 - Look, all I know is that
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,351 the Stotch family is in big financial trouble this year.
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,397 We have to reach that finish line.
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,139 - You think you fucked? We gotta pay tariff!
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,358 That prize money is our only chance.
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,056 - Does anyone have a Turkey Trot route map?
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,709 - Yeah, I've got one here.
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:40,624 - All right, let's see.
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,238 So if this area's all blocked off,
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935 then our best chance at getting to the finish line
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,371 is detouring through here.
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,591 - No, no, we should go this way through the underpass.
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,723 BUTTERS' DAD: Are you crazy? That's too much of a shortcut.
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,596 We could get disqualified.
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,947 - All that matters is that it's OK with Saudi Arabia.
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,603 Would going this way be OK with Saudi Arabia?
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,997 - There's no way to be sure what Saudi Arabia wants.
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,262 All I know is, I need their money.
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,743 So I'm gonna go out there and take my chances.
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,703 <i>['80s rock music]</i>
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,748 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010 - What's up, guys?
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,533 Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,362 We've got the Narco terrorists on the run
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885 and we're gonna take 'em out.
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,365 Yeah!
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:32,633 <i>- ♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:38,595 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,205 <i>♪ Acting like a tough guy ♪</i>
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:44,774 <i>♪ Posting it around the world ♪</i>
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,212 <i>♪ Making lots of content</i>
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:50,651 <i>♪ Like a little teenage girl ♪</i>
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:57,483 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth's a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:01,574 <i>♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪</i>
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:04,751 [gunfire]
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:05,927 [siren blips]
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,672 - All right, buddy.
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,455 I don't know what you think you're doing,
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,372 but I'm pretty sure I told you to get the hell out of my town.
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,504 - [scoffs] Oh, yeah?
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,811 Well, what do you think you're gonna do about it?
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,466 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,469 - Hello?
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,427 Hello?
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,819 Anybody?
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,952 - Give me my Xbox!
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,345 CARTMAN: Ah!
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,306 What is your problem, man?
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657 You could've made this an amazing Thanksgiving.
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:44,225 [coughs] For Stan. For Kenny.
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,272 But you just wanna play games.
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,622 - [coughs] For the last time,
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,494 just because I'm Black doesn't mean I run fast!
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,105 - Yes, you do.
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,369 You just weren't trying because you have a problem
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,719 with Saudia Arabia joining the global community.
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,721 - That has nothing to do with you being a racist.
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,243 - Oh, I'm a racist?
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,853 You want Saudi Arabia
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,029 to just keep stuffing journalists into suitcases,
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,248 but I'm the racist!
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,207 - I'm going home.
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,296 - OK, fine, forget it.
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,689 TOLKIEN: Yeah, I will forget it!
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648 And I can think whatever I want!
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215 - OK, you're right, Tolkien.
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,433 - Yeah, I know I'm right!
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,652 - OK, that's cool.
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,087 Have a good Thanksgiving, man.
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,523 - I will have a good Thanksgiving
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,309 'cause I won't be listening to your stupid bullshit!
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:24,919 - Yep, sounds good.
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,355 Enjoy the holidays with your loved ones.
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887 - Oh, God damn it.
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281 - Yes! Race science!
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240 Race science!
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,939 <i>[triumphant music]</i>
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,898 - On behalf of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:51,945 and His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,470 this year's Turkey Trot grand prize
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,516 goes to the team of South Park's very own
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,953 Tolkien Black!
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,954 <i>[upbeat Saudi Arabian music]</i>
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:04,479 [camera shutters clicking]
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,742 - We did it, dude.
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,919 <i>HARRIS: It's right there. You see it?</i>
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,574 It's right there! - [screams]
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272 - There you go. Almost there.
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:14,708 - [screams]
00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:18,538 [screams]
00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:20,017 [door slams]
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,934 - All right, guys, that about wraps it up.
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,806 Let's get home and eat some turkey.
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,502 - You son of a bitch!
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,288 The president will come for us!
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,289 - Yeah, maybe so.
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,769 Judge will see you Monday.
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:35,032 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,556 - South Park's gonna pay for this.
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,646 They're all gonna pay.
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:44,955 <i>[theme music]</i>
00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:51,962 <i>♪ ♪</i>

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