Ежегодные городские скачки на индейках превращаются в хаос, когда Картман использует сомнительные передовые научные достижения, чтобы выиграть гонку.

Предыдущая серия S28 E03 Sora не сожалеет

Индюшачий забег

Turkey Trot

Сезон: 28Серия: 04

Описание

Ежегодные городские скачки на индейках превращаются в хаос, когда Картман использует сомнительные передовые научные достижения, чтобы выиграть гонку.

Субтитры

rus__Forc.srt

00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,420

В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ

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Соберу я свой рюкзак

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и поеду в Саус Парк.

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Дружелюбный здесь народ,

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благочестие цветёт.

00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,060

В Саус парк ты приезжаешь

00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,720

и печали забываешь.

00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,460

Стоит только выйти в свет,

00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:22,190

все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»

00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:23,640

В Саус Парке не печалься,

00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:25,640

отдыхай и расслабляйся.

00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,060

В Саус Парке ждут тебя

00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,740

мои верные друзья.

00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,000

ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,510

ГОРОДСКОЙ СОВЕТ САУС ПАРКА

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Я БЛАГОДАРНА

00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:53,040

НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,860

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК

00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:27,130

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК

00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:30,800

ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР САУС ПАРКА

РЕГИСТРАЦИЯ НА «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»

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ВХОД

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28-Й ЕЖЕГОДНЫЙ «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»

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(Говорит по-арабски)

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СТАРТ

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ПОЧТОВОЕ ОТДЕЛЕНИЕ

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МИНИСТЕРСТВО ВНУТРЕННЕЙ БЕЗОПАСНОСТИ

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САУС ПАРК

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ФИНИШ

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КАФЕ «БРАТЬЯ ТВИК»

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Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:37,460

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,950

Делает вид, что он крутой и вечно что-то постит.

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Снимает кучу контента, как девочка-подросток.

00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:56,160

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:18:57,090 --> 00:19:02,260

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

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САУС ПАРК

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Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

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Что ты будешь делать? Над тобой смеются все.

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Это не обойдёт твоих детей и их друзей.

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Они будут петь: «Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!».

00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:07,460

Он такой придурок!

00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:12,990

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

rus__Rus.srt

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В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ

00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,110

Соберу я свой рюкзак

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и поеду в Саус Парк.

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Дружелюбный здесь народ,

00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,600

благочестие цветёт.

00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,060

В Саус парк ты приезжаешь

00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:18,720

и печали забываешь.

00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,460

Стоит только выйти в свет,

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все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»

00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:23,640

В Саус Парке не печалься,

00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:25,640

отдыхай и расслабляйся.

00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,060

В Саус Парке ждут тебя

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мои верные друзья.

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ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

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ГОРОДСКОЙ СОВЕТ САУС ПАРКА

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Итак, День благодарения почти настал.

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А это значит, что на носу ежегодный «Забег индеек».

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Почему мы не нашли

ни одного спонсора для этого мероприятия?

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В Саус Парке тяжёлые времена, мэр.

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Ни у кого нет денег.

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«Фермы Надёжности» были спонсором забега,

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но, как вы знаете, «Надёжности» больше нет.

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Так что мы не можем помочь.

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Как насчёт «Шай-люшего» поп-ап магазина?

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Они не помогут со спонсорством?

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Как «Шай-люший» поп-ап помогать?

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Мы платить тариф!

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Нам совсем конец!

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Просто признайте, что бизнес

в Саус Парке умирает, и люди теряют работу.

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Мусор? У кого-то есть мусор?

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Да, есть. Бросок!

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Должно же быть какое-то решение.

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«Забег индеек» — единственное мероприятие,

объединяющее наш город.

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Сейчас он нужен нам как никогда.

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Конечно, есть один спонсор,

который мог бы дать Саус Парку много денег.

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Ну, остальным же они дают.

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Почему не нам?

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Боже мой.

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Точно!

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Я БЛАГОДАРНА

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В этот День благодарения

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готовьтесь бежать в поддержку традиций.

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Двадцать восьмой ежегодный

«Забег индеек» Саус Парка

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спонсирует...

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Саудовская Аравия!

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Это забег с начинкой

из традиций Дня благодарения.

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Первый, кто пересечёт линию финиша,

получит пять тысяч долларов!

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Регистрируйтесь сейчас!

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Возраст не важен!

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Неприязнь к королевской семье

Саудовской Аравии строго запрещена.

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Начните День благодарения со старой традиции.

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«Забег индеек» Саус Парка.

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НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

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Пять тысяч долларов, ребят.

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Победитель получит

пять тысяч от Саудовской Аравии!

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Если кто-то и должен получить от них деньги,

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то это мы.

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Да, чел! Чё вообще за Саудовская Аравия?

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Побеждает один, а деньги получает вся команда?

00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:11,990

Да!

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Офигенно!

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Мы обязаны выиграть!

00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,980

Нам нужно набрать людей

и повысить наш шанс на победу!

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Но придётся делиться с ними деньгами.

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Он прав.

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У нас будет максимум пять человек.

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Мы не сказали, что возьмём тебя.

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Ты нас замедлишь.

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Нет-нет-нет, поверьте.

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Я нужен вашей команде.

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Понимаете, я в этом деле эксперт.

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Я знаю, как мы можем получить преимущество.

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Толкин!

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Привет.

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Слушай, я хотел...

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спросить, в чьей команде

ты будешь на «Забеге индеек».

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На забеге?

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Марафон в День благодарения

с призовым фондом пять тысяч долларов.

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А... Я не бегун.

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Ага, ну да.

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Ну конечно ты бегун!

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Парни, дайте мне секунду.

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Что он делает?

00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:04,560

Я не знаю.

00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,520

Слушай, Толкин, я в этом деле эксперт.

00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,880

Люди твоей расы бегают быстрее.

00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,230

Эй, Толкин, Толкин.

00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,900

Чувак, ну праздник же!

00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:18,600

Ты можешь помочь нуждающимся. Кенни и Стэну.

00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,080

Семья Стэна потеряла свой дом.

00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:23,130

Им очень нужны деньги,

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и данные показывают, что с тобой мы не проиграем.

00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,230

Помоги. Ну, в честь праздника.

00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,810

Ну ладно.

00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,980

Да?! Он сказал да!

00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:37,860

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК

00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,030

Иисусе, Митч!

00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,020

Пять тысяч за победу в «Забеге индеек»?

00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,800

Да весь город захочет участвовать!

00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,460

Я думал записать и свою семью.

00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,780

Деньги Саудовской Аравии не помешают.

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Не выйдет. В этот день мы будем заняты.

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Сэр!

00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:55,580

Белый Дом снова звонит!

00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,250

Хотят забрать заключённого.

00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:58,370

Скажи, мы заняты.

00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:03,020

Если не подчинимся, они отправят

Пита Хегсета из министерства войны.

00:05:03,550 --> 00:05:05,160

Что за Пит Хегсет?

00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:13,870

Даа! Даа!

00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,220

Всем привет, это Пит Хегсет

из министерства войны!

00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:24,290

Мы проникли в отделение полиции,

чтобы забрать нужного нам человека!

00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:28,300

Вольно, солдат!

00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:34,320

Президент США требует немедленно

передать мне заключённого.

00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:39,330

Я же сказал, что у меня есть связи.

00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:44,210

Да, но Тоторо всё ещё должен

предстать перед судом.

00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:47,540

Ещё у нас скоро забег, так что это займёт пару дней.

00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,780

Мужик, ты не понимаешь.

00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:52,210

Мы из министерства войны!

00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,850

Мы не сдаёмся.

00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:56,840

Мы делаем своё дело! Подписывайтесь!

00:05:56,870 --> 00:05:57,970

Погнали!

00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:04,330

Да, я определённо не хочу с вами связываться.

00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:09,720

Давай ты просто нажмёшь

секретную кнопку на полу, и все камеры откроются.

00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,530

Секретную кнопку?

00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:14,560

Да, она на полу, видишь? Она... Вот она!

00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,540

А теперь уноси свою задницу отсюда!

00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:19,930

Ах ты!

00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,460

Только попробуй снова так сделать!

00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:27,130

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКИЙ УЧАСТОК ОКРУГА ПАРК

00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:30,800

ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ЦЕНТР САУС ПАРКА

РЕГИСТРАЦИЯ НА «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»

00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,970

ВХОД

00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:36,140

28-Й ЕЖЕГОДНЫЙ «ЗАБЕГ ИНДЕЕК»

00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,390

Вы уже зарегистрировали команду онлайн?

00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:41,890

Да, мы Джимбо и Нед.

00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,940

Мы из оружейного клуба «Киванис».

00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:48,490

Да, держите. Счастливого Дня благодарения и...

00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,530

(Говорит по-арабски)

00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,020

Я Маки. Мистер Маки, понятненько?

00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:56,490

И сколько человек в вашей команде?

00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,650

Я не в команде, понятненько?

00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:02,000

Я заберу эти сладкие саудовские деньги себе.

00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,020

Так, номера мы получили.

00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:05,820

Чувак, тут столько людей.

00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:06,960

Как мы победим?

00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:09,630

Не волнуйтесь, я изучил конкурентов.

00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,260

Вон там «Ротари-клуб».

00:07:11,270 --> 00:07:13,180

В прошлый раз победили, но уже старые.

00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:15,450

Вон команда поп-апа.

00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:18,940

Наука говорит, что они умные, но не особо быстрые.

00:07:19,050 --> 00:07:20,100

Привет, Стэн.

00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,730

Ты бежишь в этом году?

00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,210

Да. А вы тоже?

00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:25,770

Конечно же! Пять тысяч долларов!

00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,850

Да, конечно, у вас четверых есть шанс на победу.

00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:31,660

Вообще-то нас пять.

00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,180

Привет, ребята.

00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,470

Увидимся на забеге!

00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,220

Пока!

00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,430

Девочкам преподают науку о расах?

00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:45,090

Что творится в нашей стране?

00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,050

Решимость!

00:07:48,490 --> 00:07:49,880

Сила!

00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:52,840

Способность уничтожать врагов!

00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,390

Это министерство войны!

00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,770

Всем привет, я Пит Хегсет.

00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:03,270

Этот политкорректный

либеральный город отрицает нашу власть.

00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,480

Министерство войны против!

00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:07,770

Пит Хегсет сделает всё возможное!

00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,280

Я пришёл надирать жвачку и жевать задницы!

00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:12,650

Все эти задницы!

00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,630

Я сделаю всё, чтобы выполнить задачу!

00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:17,740

О, вы посмотрите!

00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:21,360

Президент США звонит мне прямо сейчас!

00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,730

Да, мистер президент.

00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,490

Хегсет!

00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,920

Какой хернёй ты маешься?

00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,840

Ты забрал Питера Тиля?

00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:30,430

Нам не удалось вызволить заключённого.

00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,300

Местная полиция оказала сопротивление.

00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,050

Чёрт возьми, у вас была одна задача!

00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,970

Нужно вернуть Питера Тиля в Белый дом!

00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:40,320

Так точно, сэр!

00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,780

Нужна вся мощь министерства войны!

00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,400

Все наши танки, пушки и парни!

00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,510

Обеспечим.

00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:49,730

Просто достаньте заключённого любой ценой!

00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:50,940

Да, чёрт возьми!

00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,950

Не дай бог ты просто снимешь кучу контента.

00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,740

Нужно реально пойти и что-то сделать.

00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,891

Ставьте лайк и подписывайтесь.

00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,920

Да, мистер президент, этот город заплатит!

00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,000

Ну какой же он придурок.

00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:11,154

Так, парни. Завтра здесь будет целая армия.

00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:16,530

И этот коп из мелкого городишки поймёт,

что связался не с тем парнем.

00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:32,940

Подготовка к забегу идёт полным ходом.

И, кажется, здесь собрался весь Саус Парк.

00:09:32,950 --> 00:09:37,690

Люди надевают номера

и красуются в праздничных костюмах.

00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,540

Со мной начальник полиции Харрисон.

Вы работаете в выходной?

00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:47,020

Да, мы хотим, чтобы все были

в безопасности в День благодарения.

00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,800

Все должны пить воду и быть ответственными.

00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,580

Всем удачи на забеге.

00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:55,340

Команде победителя

достанется большая сумма денег,

00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:58,580

и некоторые полагаются

на расовые исследования.

00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:01,700

В наше время многие люди не верят в науку.

00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,450

Вакцины, вызывающие аутизм,

00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,010

самолёты с химикатами.

00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:07,730

Но, что касается бега, наука важна.

00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,680

Многие бегуны надеются выиграть денежный приз.

00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,580

Так пусть лучшая индейка победит!

00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,610

Вы готовы бежать?

00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:20,360

Вперёд, команда, давайте!

00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:21,240

Где Толкин?

00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,540

-Ты не слышал?

- Что не слышал?

00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:24,990

Толкин не хочет бежать.

00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,620

В смысле «Толкин не хочет бежать»?

00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:32,640

Отказался по политическим причинам,

когда узнал, кто спонсор.

00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:35,120

- Вы, нахер, шутите?

- Нет.

00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:36,990

Никуда, блин, не уходите!

00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:43,550

Добро пожаловать

на двадцать восьмой ежегодный «Забег индеек»!

00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:47,560

Явка замечательная.

00:10:47,570 --> 00:10:51,380

Давайте все вместе

поблагодарим нашего спонсора

00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:53,090

Саудовскую Аравию!

00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,320

Чёрт меня дери!

00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:07,150

Твою мать, у нас восстание «Антифа»!

00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:09,530

Итак, министерство войны.

00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:12,380

Жители этого города поднимают восстание!

00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:16,020

Но они не помешают нам забрать нашего человека!

00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:19,260

Толкин!

00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,080

Толкин?

00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:22,770

Толкин!

00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,020

Ты что тут делаешь?

00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:30,360

Играю в ARC Raiders.

00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,440

Ты не бежишь,

потому что спонсор Саудовская Аравия?

00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:35,280

Да, это неправильно.

00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,920

«Это неправильно»?

00:11:37,150 --> 00:11:37,970

Да, неправильно.

00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:39,760

«Это неправильно»?!

00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:43,810

Тебе не нравится,

что они сотрудничают с Америкой?

00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:45,770

Они хотят стать прогрессивными.

00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:47,450

Хочешь, чтобы было как раньше?

00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:51,830

Чтобы они снова платили Кевину Харту

и резали людей? Так, что ли?

00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,120

Экран не видно.

00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,640

Нельзя ныть из-за того,

что страна хочет быть современной!

00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,320

Они хотят помочь американцам с деньгами.

00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:02,194

Они оплачивают спортивные события,

00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,840

а не взламывают репортёров

или снимают комедии с Питом Дэвидсоном.

00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,320

СТАРТ

00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,320

Итак, по моей команде.

00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:24,971

На старт...

00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,510

Чёрт возьми!

00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,360

Стреляют! Стреляют!

00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:42,050

Готовьте камеры, нужен контент! Срочно!

00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,970

Это Пит Хегсет из министерства войны.

00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,650

По нам ведут огонь!

00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,730

Жители этого города поднимают восстание!

00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,520

Ставьте лайк и подписывайтесь!

00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:56,230

ПОЧТОВОЕ ОТДЕЛЕНИЕ

00:12:56,430 --> 00:13:00,380

Вы можете слышать,

как кричат эти либеральные террористы.

00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:01,880

Мы идём в атаку!

00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:04,520

Обычный день в министерстве войны!

00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:09,410

Знал, что с 2018 женщинам

в Саудовской Аравии можно водить?

00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,740

Женщинам можно водить!

00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,780

Это же просто лесбийская утопия!

00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,860

Можно я просто отдохну в День благодарения?

00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:20,430

Ну да! Кому нужна лесбийская утопия?!

00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,500

Не Толкину! Толкин хочет,

чтобы геям дальше отрезали головы!

00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:25,920

Так же намного лучше!

00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:27,200

Ведёшь себя как мудак!

00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,540

Уйди отсюда.

00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,270

Ладно, Толкин, знаешь, что?

00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:38,060

Ладно. Если не хочешь, как все,

поддерживать изменения Саудовской Аравии,

00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,382

ты нам не нужен.

00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,000

Эй!

00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,030

Верни мой Xbox!

00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,330

А ты отбери!

00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:00,240

Давай!

00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,370

Нам нужны эти деньги!

00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:06,720

Бунтующие террористы продвигаются на север.

00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:12,200

Мы планируем перехватить их вот в этой локации

00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,810

и снять как можно больше контента.

00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:20,200

Будьте готовы, возможно придётся

снимать контент и в этом месте тоже.

00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,150

Третий батальон, ваш пост будет здесь.

00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,970

Будете постить в Instagram и Twitter.

00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:27,810

Команда «Альфа» здесь.

00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:29,620

А команда «Браво» здесь.

00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,000

МИНИСТЕРСТВО ВНУТРЕННЕЙ БЕЗОПАСНОСТИ

00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,650

Всем приготовиться.

00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,190

Вольно, солдат.

00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,910

У вас гражданское восстание?

00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:41,060

Да, мы справимся и без помощи МВБ.

00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:43,330

Мы просто хотим быть полезными.

00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,330

Этим и занимается МВБ.

00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,150

Лайкните и подпишитесь.

00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,857

- У нас...

- О, нет-нет-нет!

00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,560

Это не ваш контент.

00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:53,222

Подписывайтесь на министерство войны!

00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:06,160

Давай. Давай.

00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,020

Ты можешь. Я могу...

00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:17,810

Твою мать! Отдай мой Xbox!

00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:21,280

Толкин, почему ты такой медленный?

00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:24,960

Ты даже не пытаешься!

00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:27,820

Я пытаюсь!

00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:30,880

Я же сказал, я не бегун!

00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:33,610

Нет, ты бегун!

00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:36,740

Может, хватит херню нести?

00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:42,520

САУС ПАРК

00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,680

Министерство войны, это МВБ.

00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:56,770

Протестующие бегут к вам.

00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,670

Оставайтесь на месте!

00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,040

Это наш контент!

00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:02,540

Их слишком много!

00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:15,660

Вот они.

00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,680

Всем занять позиции!

00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,810

Министерство войны не запугать!

00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,060

Ждииите.

00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,860

Ждииите!

00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,490

Пускаем слезоточивый газ!

00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:42,970

Чувак!

00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:44,500

В какую сторону бежать?

00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,630

Я ничего не вижу!

00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:53,010

Толкин? Толкин?!

00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,800

Куда ты делся?

00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:58,470

ФИНИШ

00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:10,650

КАФЕ «БРАТЬЯ ТВИК»

00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,490

Что происходит?

00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,240

Мы не знаем!

00:17:16,510 --> 00:17:19,380

Как нам бежать, если они перекрыли дорогу?

00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:28,430

Я знаю только то, что у Стотчей

в этом году проблемы с финансами.

00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,170

Мы должны добежать до финиша!

00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,140

Думаешь, вам тяжело? Мы платим тариф!

00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,170

Победа — наш единственный шанс!

00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,390

У кого-то есть карта забега?

00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,550

Да, у меня есть.

00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:40,600

Давайте.

00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,140

Если здесь перекрыто,

00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:48,270

то лучший способ

добраться до финиша — обойти здесь.

00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,291

Нет, нам лучше обойти тут, снизу.

00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:52,376

С ума сошли?

00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:55,420

Нельзя срезать, нас дисквалифицируют!

00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,560

Лишь бы Саудовская Аравия была не против.

00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:01,740

Саудовская Аравия это одобрит?

00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:05,630

Невозможно узнать,

чего хочет Саудовская Аравия.

00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,430

Я знаю только, что мне нужны их деньги.

00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:12,000

Так что я выйду и рискну это сделать.

00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,260

Это Пит Хегсет из министерства войны!

00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,050

Наркотеррористы в бегах,

и мы собираемся их уничтожить!

00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,060

Дааа!

00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:31,390

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:37,460

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,950

Делает вид, что он крутой и вечно что-то постит.

00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:49,400

Снимает кучу контента, как девочка-подросток.

00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:56,160

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:18:57,090 --> 00:19:02,260

Пит Хегсет сраный придурок!

00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:10,730

Так, приятель.

00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:16,320

Если мне не изменяет память,

я сказал тебе убираться из моего города.

00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:18,120

А, да?

00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:20,820

Ну и что вы мне сделаете?

00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:24,880

Ау?

00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:27,540

Эй!

00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,470

Кто-нибудь?

00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:30,890

Отдай Xbox!

00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,010

В чём твоя проблема, чувак?

00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:40,730

Ты мог устроить всем праздник.

00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:43,460

Стэну. Кенни.

00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:46,180

Но тебе нужны только игры!

00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:48,430

Ещё раз говорю.

00:19:48,610 --> 00:19:51,480

То, что я чёрный, не значит, что я быстрый!

00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:53,850

Нет, значит!

00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:58,530

Ты просто не старался, ведь ты против

общественного признания Саудовской Аравии.

00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:00,650

Как это связано с тем, что ты расист?

00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:02,110

Это я расист?!

00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:07,160

Ты хочешь, чтобы журналистов и дальше

распихивали по чемоданам, и это я расист?!

00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,090

Я иду домой.

00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:10,580

Ну и ладно, забудь.

00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,270

И забуду!

00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:14,540

И буду думать что захочу!

00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,170

Ладно, ты прав.

00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,420

Да, я знаю!

00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:19,840

Ну, тогда наслаждайся праздником.

00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:23,260

Я буду им наслаждаться,

ведь не буду слушать твой бред!

00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:24,810

Ага, круто.

00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:26,390

Проведи время с семьёй.

00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,640

ФИНИШ

00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:36,860

О, твою мать!

00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,280

Да! Наука!

00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,190

Наука!

00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,950

САУС ПАРК

00:20:44,850 --> 00:20:47,810

От лица Королевства Саудовская Аравия

00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:51,740

и Его Величества

Мухаммеда бен Салмана Аль Сауда,

00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:59,220

мы вручаем главный приз «Забега индеек»

местной команде бегунов Толкина Блэка!

00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:05,470

Получилось!

00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,800

Вот она, видишь?

00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:10,251

Прямо... здесь!

00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,531

Да-да-да, почти.

00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,780

Ну всё, на сегодня закончили.

00:21:23,910 --> 00:21:25,740

Пойдём домой есть индейку.

00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,380

Сукин сын!

00:21:27,390 --> 00:21:29,280

Президент придёт за нами!

00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:31,300

Да, может быть.

00:21:31,310 --> 00:21:32,845

Суд в понедельник.

00:21:34,930 --> 00:21:37,051

Саус Парк за это заплатит.

00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,268

Они все заплатят.

00:21:39,270 --> 00:21:42,930

Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:47,700

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eng__Eng.srt

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♪ Gonna have myself a time

00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,930

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day

or night ♪

00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,675

♪ I'm headin' on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,333

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

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All right, people,

it's almost Thanksgiving,

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and that means the annual

Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.

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How is it that we haven't found

one sponsor

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to help pay for this event?

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South Park's just fallen

on hard times, Mayor.

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Nobody's got the money.

00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231

Tegridy Farms used to be

a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,

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but as you know, we've recently

all lost Tegridy.

00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,540

So I'm afraid

we just can't help.

00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,976

What about

the City Asian Pop Up Store?

00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241

Can't they help sponsor

this year's race?

00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939

How City Asian Pop Up

pay for Turkey Trot?

00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593

We gotta pay tariff!

00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,594

We more fucked than anybody!

00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,771

Let's just face it, Mayor,

South Park businesses

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are dying and a lot of good

people have lost their jobs.

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Trash?

Anybody got trash?

00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606

Oh, yeah, here's some.

Bank shot!

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There has to be a solution, people.

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The Turkey Trot is

the one time of year

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this town comes together

as a community.

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We all need it now,

more than ever.

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Well, of course,

there is someone

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who'd be willing to give

South Park a bunch of money.

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I mean, they're giving money

to everyone else.

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Why not us?

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My God.

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That's it!

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This Thanksgiving morning,

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lace up for holiday fun

and tradition.

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It's the 28th annual

South Park Turkey Trot.

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Sponsored by...

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Saudi Arabia!

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It's a 5K race

absolutely stuffed

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with Thanksgiving traditions.

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And the first one across

the finish line

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wins their team $5,000!

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Sign up your team now!

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All ages are welcome!

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Disparaging remarks towards

the Saudi Royal family

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are strictly prohibited.

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Start your Thanksgiving with

this time-honored tradition.

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The South Park Turkey Trot.

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$5,000, you guys.

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The winner of this year's

Turkey Trot

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gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.

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Like, if anybody's gonna

get money from Saudi Arabia,

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it should be us.

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And just one person

has to win the race

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and your whole team

gets the money?

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- Yeah!

- Dude, that is crazy!

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We should just get a bunch

of kids on our team,

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and then the chances of one of

us winning is way better.

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Yeah, but then you gotta

split the prize money more ways.

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It's true, man.

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I say we keep our team to four,

five runners, max.

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Nobody said we wanted you

on the team.

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Yeah, you kinda slow us down.

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Oh, no, no, no, trust me.

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You want me on the racing team.

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I happen to be an expert

in race science, you guys.

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I know a way to give our team

an optimal winning advantage.

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Tolkien!

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Hey, man.

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Listen, I was, uh--

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I was just wondering whose team

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you're thinking of being on

for the big Turkey Trot.

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- Turkey Trot?

- You know, the big footrace

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Thanksgiving morning?

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First place wins 5,000 bucks

for his whole team.

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Oh.

I'm not really a runner.

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Yeah, right.

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Of course you're a runner,

Tolkien.

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Sorry, guys,

just give me one second.

00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679

- What the hell is he doing?

- I don't know.

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All right, look, Tolkien,

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I'm a racing science expert,

OK?

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The data shows your race

always wins races.

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Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.

Tolkien.

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Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.

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If you don't want to race

for yourself,

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then do it for the needy--

Kenny and Stan.

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I mean, Stan's family

lost their home, dude.

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Those guys could really use

the money,

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and all the analytics show

that with you on the team,

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we can't lose.

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Could you--could you just do it

for Thanksgiving?

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All right, fine.

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Yes? He said yes!

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Jesus Christ, Mitch.

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A $5,000 prize

for the Turkey Trot?

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Everyone in town is gonna want

to do this race.

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I was kind of thinking of

signing the family up, sir.

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We could really use some of that

Saudi Arabian dough.

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Can't do it, Mitch.

We're gonna be busy on race day.

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Sir!

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The White house is calling

again.

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They're demanding

we release the prisoner.

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Tell them we're busy.

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But they said

if we don't comply,

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they're gonna send in

Pete Hegseth

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and the Department of War.

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Who's Pete Hegseth?

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Yeah! Yeah!

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Hey, what's up, guys?

This is Pete Hegseth

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with the Department of War!

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We're here to infiltrate this

police station and extract a POI

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'cause that's what we do!

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At ease, soldier!

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The President of

the United States orders you

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to release custody of the

prisoner to me immediately.

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I warned you

I had powerful friends.

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Yeah, well, Totoro still

has to be processed

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and seen by a judge.

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And we have a big Turkey Trot

to deal with,

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so it's gonna be a few days.

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Hey, man, I don't think

you understand.

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You're messing with

the Department of War!

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And we mean business.

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We don't stand down for anyone!

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Be sure to like and subscribe.

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All right, let's do this!

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All right, I certainly don't

want to tangle with you guys.

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How about you just push

the secret button in the floor

00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,456

over here and the jail cell

doors will all open.

00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,197

- The secret button?

- Yeah, it's in the floor.

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Right there, you see it?

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It's right--there it is!

- Ah, ah, ahh!

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Now get your little bitch ass

out of my town.

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Oh, you--

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I dare you to do that again.

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OK,

and did you already register

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your racing team online?

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Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.

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We're racing with

the Kiwanis Gun Club.

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Yes, here you go.

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Good luck with the race,

happy Thanksgiving,

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and [speaks Arabic].

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Uh, it's Mackey.

Mr. Mackey, mmkay.

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OK, Mr. Mackey,

and how many on your team?

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Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.

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I need that sweet Saudi Arabian

money all for myself.

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All right, guys,

we got our racing numbers.

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Damn, dude, there's so many

people signing up.

00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,948

How are we ever gonna win?

00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123

Don't worry, you guys,

00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,733

I've been scoping out

the competition.

00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518

That group over there

is the Rotary Club.

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They won last year, but

they're all, like, old now.

00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609

Over there is

the City Pop Up team.

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The race science says

they'll race smart,

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but not necessarily fast,

so we're good there.

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Oh, hey, Stan.

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You gonna do the Turkey Trot

this year?

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Yeah. You guys are too?

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Hell yeah, we are!

$5,000!

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Oh, yeah, I'm sure

all four of you ladies

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have a really awesome chance

of winning.

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There's actually five of us.

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Hey, guys, what's up?

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Well, we'll see you

at the race.

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All right, see ya!

00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,939

They're teaching race science

to girls now?

00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,029

What the hell kind of country

are we living in?

00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,510

Commitment!

00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121

Strength!

00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,516

The ability to obliterate

our enemies!

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That is the Department of War!

00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913

What's up, guys?

I'm Pete Hegseth.

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We're outside

this woke liberal town

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that is actually

defying our government,

00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659

and nobody defies

the Department of War!

00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444

Pete Hegseth will do

whatever it takes!

00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,924

I'm here to kick bubblegum

and chew ass,

00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883

and I'm all outta ass.

00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364

I'll do whatever's necessary

to get the job done!

00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975

Oh, yeah, look at that!

00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282

That's the President of the

United States calling me,

00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326

right now!

00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154

Yes, Mr. President?

00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,503

Hegseth!

00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983

What the fuck are you doing?

00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029

Did you get Peter Thiel?

00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640

No, sir, we were unable

to extract the prisoner.

00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,599

We were met with resistance from

the woke local police force.

00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211

God damn it,

we gave you one job to do.

00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996

We need Peter Thiel here

at the White house.

00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,649

Sir, yes, sir!

00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,869

I'm gonna need the full might

of the Department of War!

00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,524

I'll need all our tanks

and guns and dudes!

00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,003

Then you've got it.

00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746

Just get us the prisoner,

no matter what it takes!

00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269

Hell yeah!

00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968

And Hegseth, don't just make

a bunch of content.

00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710

Like, actually go

and do something.

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Be sure to like

and subscribe, guys.

00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543

Yes, sir, Mr. President!

I will make this town pay!

00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285

God, he is such a douchebag.

00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,245

All right, men, we'll have

a full army here by tomorrow.

00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,421

And then that smalltown cop

00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381

is gonna see

he messed with the wrong guy.

00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263

It's the morning

of the big race,

00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787

and all of South Park

appears to have turned out

00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094

in the spirit of community.

00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,878

People are putting on

their numbers

00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316

and rocking out

their festive costumes.

00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,274

I'm with Police Chief Harris,

00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,842

and Chief, your guys have been

working overtime.

00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,670

Yeah, well,

we just want to make sure

00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,237

everyone has a safe

Thanksgiving morning.

00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806

We want people to stay hydrated

and be responsible.

00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895

Let's have a good Turkey Trot.

00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,592

Now, of course, there's a lot

of money on the line

00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333

for the team of the race winner,

00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,901

and so some people

are turning to race science.

00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,338

That's right, you know,

a lot of people these days

00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905

want to debunk science.

00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298

You know,

vaccine's cause autism,

00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082

jet fuel leaves chemtrails,

00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998

but when it comes to

racing science, it's science.

00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,871

Certainly a lot of runners

hoping to cash in today,

00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049

so may the best turkey win.

00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,574

All right,

you guys ready to run?

00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,358

We got this.

Come on, team, let's go!

00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447

Where's Tolkien?

- Oh, you didn't hear?

00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753

I didn't hear what?

00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:24,972

Tolkien says

he's not gonna race.

00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,975

What do you mean

Tolkien's not going to race?

00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891

He said because it's being

eng__SDH.srt

00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,487

- ♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,446

♪ Gonna have myself a time

00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883

- ♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:16,973

- ♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,930

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672

- ♪ Ample parking day

or night ♪

00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,675

- ♪ I'm headin' on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,808

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:29,115

- ♪ [mumbling] ♪

00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,333

- ♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,119

♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,733

[twangy music]

00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,952

- All right, people,

it's almost Thanksgiving,

00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957

and that means the annual

Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.

00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,742

How is it that we haven't found

one sponsor

00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,961

to help pay for this event?

00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,574

- South Park's just fallen

on hard times, Mayor.

00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,401

Nobody's got the money.

00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231

- Tegridy Farms used to be

a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,

00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,364

but as you know, we've recently

all lost Tegridy.

00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,540

So I'm afraid

we just can't help.

00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,976

- What about

the City Asian Pop Up Store?

00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241

Can't they help sponsor

this year's race?

00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939

- How City Asian Pop Up

pay for Turkey Trot?

00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593

We gotta pay tariff!

00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,594

We more fucked than anybody!

00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,771

- Let's just face it, Mayor,

South Park businesses

00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,121

are dying and a lot of good

people have lost their jobs.

00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,820

- Trash?

Anybody got trash?

00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606

- Oh, yeah, here's some.

Bank shot!

00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,739

- There has to be a solution, people.

00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,958

The Turkey Trot is

the one time of year

00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,353

this town comes together

as a community.

00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,007

We all need it now,

more than ever.

00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,793

- Well, of course,

there is someone

00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,752

who'd be willing to give

South Park a bunch of money.

00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:44,974

[curious music]

00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,977

I mean, they're giving money

to everyone else.

00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,369

Why not us?

00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,674

[music ends]

00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,894

- My God.

00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,462

That's it!

00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,554

ANNOUNCER:

This Thanksgiving morning,

00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,644

lace up for holiday fun

and tradition.

00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,995

It's the 28th annual

South Park Turkey Trot.

00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,387

Sponsored by...

00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,997

Saudi Arabia!

00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,913

[Arabic music playing]

00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:15,657

♪

00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,181

It's a 5K race

absolutely stuffed

00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,922

with Thanksgiving traditions.

00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,663

♪ ♪

00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,403

And the first one across

the finish line

00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,015

wins their team $5,000!

00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:33,153

♪ ♪

00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,242

Sign up your team now!

00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,722

All ages are welcome!

00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,855

Disparaging remarks towards

the Saudi Royal family

00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,030

are strictly prohibited.

00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:45,687

Start your Thanksgiving with

this time-honored tradition.

00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,644

The South Park Turkey Trot.

00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,821

[singers vocalizing]

00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,872

- $5,000, you guys.

00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,395

The winner of this year's

Turkey Trot

00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920

gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.

00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,401

Like, if anybody's gonna

get money from Saudi Arabia,

00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,794

it should be us.

00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,665

- [muffled speech]

00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,146

- And just one person

has to win the race

00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,495

and your whole team

gets the money?

00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,410

- Yeah!

- Dude, that is crazy!

00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,324

- [muffled speech]

00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,153

- We should just get a bunch

of kids on our team,

00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,110

and then the chances of one of

us winning is way better.

00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,244

- Yeah, but then you gotta

split the prize money more ways.

00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,853

- It's true, man.

00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,379

I say we keep our team to four,

five runners, max.

00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,294

- Nobody said we wanted you

on the team.

00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,730

Yeah, you kinda slow us down.

00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,297

- Oh, no, no, no, trust me.

00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,690

You want me on the racing team.

00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,519

I happen to be an expert

in race science, you guys.

00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,653

I know a way to give our team

an optimal winning advantage.

00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,613

- Tolkien!

00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:43,874

Hey, man.

00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,093

Listen, I was, uh--

00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,574

I was just wondering whose team

00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,923

you're thinking of being on

for the big Turkey Trot.

00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,534

- Turkey Trot?

- You know, the big footrace

00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,970

Thanksgiving morning?

00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,321

First place wins 5,000 bucks

for his whole team.

00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,279

- Oh.

I'm not really a runner.

00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,890

- Yeah, right.

00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,500

Of course you're a runner,

Tolkien.

00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,590

Sorry, guys,

just give me one second.

00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679

- What the hell is he doing?

- I don't know.

00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,940

- All right, look, Tolkien,

00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,725

I'm a racing science expert,

OK?

00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,858

The data shows your race

always wins races.

00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,468

[locker slams]

00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296

Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.

Tolkien.

00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,123

Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.

00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430

If you don't want to race

for yourself,

00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,736

then do it for the needy--

Kenny and Stan.

00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,390

I mean, Stan's family

lost their home, dude.

00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,349

Those guys could really use

the money,

00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,307

and all the analytics show

that with you on the team,

00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,743

we can't lose.

00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,485

Could you--could you just do it

for Thanksgiving?

00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096

- All right, fine.

00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011

- Yes? He said yes!

00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,929

[suspenseful music]

00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,148

- Jesus Christ, Mitch.

00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,239

A $5,000 prize

for the Turkey Trot?

00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,024

Everyone in town is gonna want

to do this race.

00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,635

- I was kind of thinking of

signing the family up, sir.

00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,986

We could really use some of that

Saudi Arabian dough.

00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,857

- Can't do it, Mitch.

We're gonna be busy on race day.

00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,205

COP: Sir!

00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,556

The White house is calling

again.

00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,297

They're demanding

we release the prisoner.

00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,559

- Tell them we're busy.

00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038

- But they said

if we don't comply,

00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,562

they're gonna send in

Pete Hegseth

00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,303

and the Department of War.

00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522

- Who's Pete Hegseth?

00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878

- Yeah! Yeah!

00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,012

Hey, what's up, guys?

This is Pete Hegseth

00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,666

with the Department of War!

00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,799

We're here to infiltrate this

police station and extract a POI

00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,499

'cause that's what we do!

[barking]

00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764

At ease, soldier!

00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679

The President of

the United States orders you

00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595

to release custody of the

prisoner to me immediately.

00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,252

- I warned you

I had powerful friends.

00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820

- Yeah, well, Totoro still

has to be processed

00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,430

and seen by a judge.

00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,345

And we have a big Turkey Trot

to deal with,

00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651

so it's gonna be a few days.

00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784

- Hey, man, I don't think

you understand.

00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613

You're messing with

the Department of War!

00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,048

And we mean business.

00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659

We don't stand down for anyone!

00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,051

Be sure to like and subscribe.

00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,575

All right, let's do this!

[barking]

00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,451

- All right, I certainly don't

want to tangle with you guys.

00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,278

How about you just push

the secret button in the floor

00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,456

over here and the jail cell

doors will all open.

00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,197

- The secret button?

- Yeah, it's in the floor.

00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503

Right there, you see it?

00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,245

It's right--there it is!

- Ah, ah, ahh!

00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,638

- Now get your little bitch ass

out of my town.

00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,249

- Oh, you--

00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469

I dare you to do that again.

00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,646

[screams]

00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:30,172

[indistinct chatter]

00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049

- OK,

and did you already register

00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,659

your racing team online?

00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,879

- Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.

00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,620

We're racing with

the Kiwanis Gun Club.

00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,274

- Yes, here you go.

00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,059

Good luck with the race,

happy Thanksgiving,

00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671

and [speaks Arabic].

00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152

- Uh, it's Mackey.

Mr. Mackey, mmkay.

00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,676

OK, Mr. Mackey,

and how many on your team?

00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,982

- Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.

00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,290

I need that sweet Saudi Arabian

money all for myself.

00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,162

- All right, guys,

we got our racing numbers.

00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,902

- Damn, dude, there's so many

people signing up.

00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,948

How are we ever gonna win?

00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123

- Don't worry, you guys,

00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,733

I've been scoping out

the competition.

00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518

That group over there

is the Rotary Club.

00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,389

They won last year, but

they're all, like, old now.

00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609

- Over there is

the City Pop Up team.

00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132

The race science says

they'll race smart,

00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,960

but not necessarily fast,

so we're good there.

00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,351

WENDY: Oh, hey, Stan.

00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,745

You gonna do the Turkey Trot

this year?

00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,399

- Yeah. You guys are too?

00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967

- Hell yeah, we are!

$5,000!

00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,882

- Oh, yeah, I'm sure

all four of you ladies

00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,971

have a really awesome chance

of winning.

00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,146

- There's actually five of us.

00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,713

- Hey, guys, what's up?

00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,932

[dramatic sting]

00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,934

- Well, we'll see you

at the race.

00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633

- All right, see ya!

00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,939

- They're teaching race science

to girls now?

00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,029

What the hell kind of country

are we living in?

00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,510

HEGSETH: Commitment!

00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121

Strength!

00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,516

The ability to obliterate

our enemies!

00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519

That is the Department of War!

00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913

What's up, guys?

I'm Pete Hegseth.

00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,392

We're outside

this woke liberal town

00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439

that is actually

defying our government,

00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659

and nobody defies

the Department of War!

00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444

Pete Hegseth will do

whatever it takes!

00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,924

I'm here to kick bubblegum

and chew ass,

00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883

and I'm all outta ass.

00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364

I'll do whatever's necessary

to get the job done!

00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,495

[phone ringing]

00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975

Oh, yeah, look at that!

00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282

That's the President of the

United States calling me,

00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326

right now!

00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154

Yes, Mr. President?

00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,503

- Hegseth!

00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983

What the fuck are you doing?

00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029

Did you get Peter Thiel?

00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640

No, sir, we were unable

to extract the prisoner.

00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,599

We were met with resistance from

the woke local police force.

00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211

- God damn it,

we gave you one job to do.

00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996

We need Peter Thiel here

at the White house.

00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,649

- Sir, yes, sir!

00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,869

I'm gonna need the full might

of the Department of War!

00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,524

I'll need all our tanks

and guns and dudes!

00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,003

- Then you've got it.

00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746

Just get us the prisoner,

no matter what it takes!

00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269

- Hell yeah!

00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968

- And Hegseth, don't just make

a bunch of content.

00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710

Like, actually go

and do something.

00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,931

- [quietly] Be sure to like

and subscribe, guys.

00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543

Yes, sir, Mr. President!

I will make this town pay!

00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285

- God, he is such a douchebag.

00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,245

- All right, men, we'll have

a full army here by tomorrow.

00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,421

And then that smalltown cop

00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381

is gonna see

he messed with the wrong guy.

00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263

- It's the morning

of the big race,

00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787

and all of South Park

appears to have turned out

00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094

in the spirit of community.

00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,878

People are putting on

their numbers

00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316

and rocking out

their festive costumes.

00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,274

I'm with Police Chief Harris,

00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,842

and Chief, your guys have been

working overtime.

00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,670

- Yeah, well,

we just want to make sure

00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,237

everyone has a safe

Thanksgiving morning.

00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806

We want people to stay hydrated

and be responsible.

00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895

Let's have a good Turkey Trot.

00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,592

- Now, of course, there's a lot

of money on the line

00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333

for the team of the race winner,

00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,901

and so some people

are turning to race science.

00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,338

- That's right, you know,

a lot of people these days

00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905

want to debunk science.

00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298

You know,

vaccine's cause autism,

00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082

jet fuel leaves chemtrails,

00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998

but when it comes to

racing science, it's science.

00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,871

- Certainly a lot of runners

hoping to cash in today,

00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049

so may the best turkey win.

00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,574

- All right,

you guys ready to run?

00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,358

We got this.

Come on, team, let's go!

00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447

Where's Tolkien?

- Oh, you didn't hear?

00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753

- I didn't hear what?

00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:24,972

- Tolkien says

he's not gonna race.

00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,975

- What do you mean

Tolkien's not going to race?

00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891

- He said because it's being

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