Вок мёртв

Предыдущая серия S27 E03 Болезнетворность

Следующая серия S27 E05 Конфликт интересов

Вок мёртв

Wok Is Dead

Сезон: 27Серия: 04

Описание

Субтитры

00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:06,010 ПЕРСОНАЖИ И СОБЫТИЯ ВЫМЫШЛЕНЫ (НЕ ВСЕ) ГОЛОСА ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ СЫМИТИРОВАНЫ ПЛОХО
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,780 В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ НИКОМУ
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,330 <i>Соберу я свой рюкзак</i>
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:14,960 <i>и поеду в Саус Парк.</i>
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,830 <i>Дружелюбный здесь народ,</i>
00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:18,650 <i>благочестие цветёт.</i>
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:19,860 <i>В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь</i>
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,630 <i>и печали забываешь.</i>
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,600 <i>Стоит только выйти в свет,</i>
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,340 <i>все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»</i>
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:26,540 <i>В Саус Парке не печалься,</i>
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:28,520 <i>отдыхай и расслабляйся.</i>
00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:33,080 <i>В Саус Парке ждут тебя</i>
00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:35,020 <i>мои верные друзья.</i>
00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:36,224 ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:40,290 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:35,770 «ШАЙ-ЛЮШИЙ» ПОП-АП МАГАЗИН
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,976 КАБИНЕТ СОВЕЩАНИЙ ПЕДСОВЕТА
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,770 «ШАЙ-ЛЮШИЙ» ПОП-АП МАГАЗИН
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:52,304 КАБИНЕТ ПСИХОЛОГА
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,580 «ШАЙ-ЛЮШИЙ» ПОП-АП МАГАЗИН
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:43,790 С ДНЁМ РОЖДЕНИЯ, РЭД!!!
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,460 РЕЗУЛЬТАТ: БЕРЕМЕННОСТЬ
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,590 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:06,010 ПЕРСОНАЖИ И СОБЫТИЯ ВЫМЫШЛЕНЫ (НЕ ВСЕ) ГОЛОСА ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ СЫМИТИРОВАНЫ ПЛОХО
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,780 В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ НИКОМУ
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,330 <i>Соберу я свой рюкзак</i>
00:00:13,370 --> 00:00:14,960 <i>и поеду в Саус Парк.</i>
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,830 <i>Дружелюбный здесь народ,</i>
00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:18,650 <i>благочестие цветёт.</i>
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:19,860 <i>В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь</i>
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,630 <i>и печали забываешь.</i>
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,600 <i>Стоит только выйти в свет,</i>
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,340 <i>все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»</i>
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:26,540 <i>В Саус Парке не печалься,</i>
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:28,520 <i>отдыхай и расслабляйся.</i>
00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:33,080 <i>В Саус Парке ждут тебя</i>
00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:35,020 <i>мои верные друзья.</i>
00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:36,224 ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:40,290 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:00:42,550 --> 00:00:45,000 Бетси! Бетси! Угадай, что!
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,160 Папа отвёл меня в азиатский поп-ап!
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:50,160 И купил знаешь, что? Серенити Лабубу!
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:52,120 Ой какая она прелесть!
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:52,860 Не говори.
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:54,530 Я тоже в таком магазине была.
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:55,590 Что, правда?
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:58,670 Смотри что мне купили, Лоялти Лабубу!
00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:01,050 Божечки мои, ну какая милота-а!
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,100 Я тоже в восторге!
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,310 Она просто прелесть!
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,090 Чувак, смотри туда! Щас опять начнётся!
00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:07,510 Во-от чёрт!
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:11,370 Кстати, у меня уже есть Лоялти Лабубу, и даже костюмчик!
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,400 Какая-же нереальная милота.
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,950 Кенни, пацаны, там у девок Лабубу!
00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:16,950 Щас опять будет!
00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:18,190 Ништяк, чуваки.
00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:18,780 Скорей!
00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:22,920 А ещё, ты обалдеешь, у меня Каштановая Какао Лабубу есть!
00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:25,640 Просто офигеть! Она же нереально редкая!
00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:27,070 Мегамилота, скажи, подруга?
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,990 Просто опупеть какая милота! Но она редкая, у тебя точно не подделка?
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,020 Всё, понеслась.
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:35,950 Нет, конечно. Тут подделки только у тебя, жирная сучка.
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:36,980 Завали, мразь!
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:37,790 Хер тебе!
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,760 Шлюха тупая!
00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:40,760 Да, да, давай!
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,160 Да! Класс! Так её! Кайф!
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,080 Жесть! Круто! Ещё, да!
00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:50,370 Эй! Эй, хватит! Всё, разошлись!
00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:53,570 Она всем хвастается своими Лабубу!
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,080 Вы обе в кабинет психолога. И быстро!
00:01:57,460 --> 00:01:58,610 Она первая начала!
00:01:58,620 --> 00:02:00,500 Да блин, помолчи! Это не я!
00:02:00,710 --> 00:02:03,630 Пришла со своей Лабубу и начала всё обсирать!
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:06,610 Ты обсираешь моих Лабубу каждый день, шмара!
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:13,470 Ну, любите врагов ваших, благословляйте проклинающих вас.
00:02:13,790 --> 00:02:15,960 Пусть не болтает, что мои Лабубу подделки!
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,310 Простите, а что такое Лабубу?
00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:21,240 Такие игрушки-монстрики.
00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,920 Их продают в коробках, не знаешь, что попадётся.
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,480 Может повезти, и получишь Золотую Лабубу в пижаме.
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,110 Блин, это такая милота!
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:30,830 Уписаться какая, да!
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,900 Что ж, давайте-ка вы отдадите мне куклы до конца учебного дня.
00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:37,490 - Это нечестно! - Это нечестно!
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:40,620 Идите на перемену. Заберёте Лабубу после занятий.
00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:43,330 Пипец, а он вообще психолог?
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:45,450 Ага, Иисус полный отсос.
00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:47,680 Наш старый психолог был круче.
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,090 Ага, вот сюда ещё лепи.
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,670 Вот тут ещё сыплется!
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,250 Мы теперь короли замка! Впустите нас!
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:06,890 Привет, Баттерс.
00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:08,880 Здравствуй, Рэд.
00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:14,280 Я просто хотела узнать, какие у тебя планы на выходные.
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:19,160 У-у меня?
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:20,120 Да.
00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:25,930 Я буду отмечать день рождения у себя дома. Хочу тебя пригласить. Ты придёшь?
00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:30,130 Ты щас про меня?
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,600 Хотя, ну да. Глупость какая-то.
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:34,210 Зря спросила. Забудь.
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:37,100 Нет, я хочу потусить на твоём дне рождения, Рэд.
00:03:37,330 --> 00:03:38,210 Правда? Придёшь?
00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:39,020 Ну конечно!
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:41,860 Как здорово! Я напишу тебе подробности.
00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:43,740 Хорошо, Рэд, до встречи там.
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:48,990 Супер. И отправлю свой вишлист тоже, на случай если захочешь что-то подарить.
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:49,920 Конечно!
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,320 С ума сойти, парни! Рэд хочет со мной тусоваться!
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:58,960 Это невероятно!
00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:01,290 Бро, ты ей правда нравишься.
00:04:03,570 --> 00:04:05,680 «Буду рада увидеть тебя в субботу».
00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:06,810 Ого!
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,500 Я и Рэд?!
00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:09,770 Везунчик.
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,820 «А вот мой вишлист подарков».
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:17,920 «Именно такая Лабубу».
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:23,290 Охренеть, парни, кажется, я...
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,320 В субботу узнаю, рыжий ли у рыжей Рэд кустик!
00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:30,850 - Кла-асс! - Кла-асс!
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:35,770 «ШАЙ-ЛЮШИЙ» ПОП-АП МАГАЗИН
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:44,340 Добро пожаловать в «Шай-Люший» поп-ап магазин.
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,600 Что заказываем?
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,310 Что? У вас же раньше тут была лапша «Ху и Ло».
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:54,030 Это страна измениться. Новости не знаете? «Вок мёртв»!
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,710 Теперь магазин. Чего вам надо?
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:01,690 У нас есть брелки для ключей и телефонов, аниме-фигурки. Всё шай-люшее.
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:03,830 Знаете, я пришёл к вам за Лабубу.
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:06,330 Ага-ага, все обожают Лабубу.
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,090 Они не всегда в наличии.
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,120 Очень дорого из-за тарифов!
00:05:10,450 --> 00:05:11,840 Поймите, дело серьёзное.
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,570 У меня новая девушка, и она хочет такую Лабубу в подарок.
00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:20,160 Очень редкая Лабубу. Такая может быть только в секретной коробке!
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,450 Секретная, да?
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,220 Здрасьте, а вы подаёте еду?
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,010 Нет-нет! Вок мёртв, вы новости не смотреть?
00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:29,370 А нельзя её просто купить?
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,670 Нет, так нельзя.
00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:34,450 Покупаешь коробку, открываешь и надеешься, что там такая.
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,340 Сколько стоит эта коробка?
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:37,870 Восемьдесят пять.
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:39,330 Восемьдесят пять?!
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:44,010 Да, налог-то надо платить. Думаешь, я его плачу? Нет-нет, ТЫ платишь!
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:45,610 Дайте мне одну.
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,740 Ты же используешь детей!
00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:54,010 Они много переплачивают за Лабубу!
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,980 Жена, заткнись! Кто-то должен тарифы платить!
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,570 Лучше опять оранжевого цыплёнка делать!
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:03,000 Вок мёртв, сучка тупая! Хватит меня пилить уже!
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,300 Да ну блин! Эта же не та!
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,630 Ну да, это просто Радостная Лабубу.
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,030 Часто попадается, очень.
00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:11,910 Пробуй ещё за восемьдесят пять.
00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:15,670 Плачу столько же, и может опять попасться не то, что надо?
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,860 Это не я, это ваше правительство!
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,800 Не меня тарифы дерут, вас тарифы дерут!
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,150 Китайцы называют это «горячая картошка».
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,880 Вы смотрите Fox News!
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:32,450 Президент только что вернулся с исторически важного саммита по тарифам.
00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:35,410 Наш президент хорош собой, как никогда.
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,900 А вот и Князь Тьмы, который путешествует вместе с президентом.
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:45,230 Президент сошёл с рейса номер один и говорит с разнообразной толпой репортёров.
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,580 Господин президент! Сюда!
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,290 Госп-господин президент, как прошло обсуждение тарифов?
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,910 Да шикарно, приятель.
00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:52,950 - Меня! Меня! - Господин президент!
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,290 Господин президент, мы все так хотим узнать...
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:59,540 Ваша жена, Мелания, живёт в Нью-Йорке, далеко от Белого дома.
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:00,250 Всё так!
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,020 И зрители Fox News так хотят знать...
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,560 Вы трахаете Сатану?
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:09,410 Нет! Да не трахаю я Сатану!
00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:11,950 Мы с ним просто тусуемся.
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:13,700 Да ладно, президент Трамп.
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:17,960 Учитывая всё, что вы делаете, все думают, что вы трахаете Сатану.
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,830 Да не трахаю я Сатану!
00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:21,100 Пошли уже, прошу.
00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:26,520 Он трахает Сатану.
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,590 Он точно трахает Сатану. Настоящий жеребец!
00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:31,240 Класс, Fox News!
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,976 КАБИНЕТ СОВЕЩАНИЙ ПЕДСОВЕТА
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,030 Переходим к делу.
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:37,880 Как вы знаете, в школы нашей страны возвращают христианскую мораль.
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,550 Наш новый школьный психолог хочет высказаться. Давай, Иисус.
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:50,100 Что-то я никак не пойму, почему девочки стали столько драться из-за этих Лабубу?
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:51,104 - Ой, жуть. - Да-да.
00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:51,490 Кошмар.
00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:52,540 Ох эти Лабубу.
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,060 Дети по ним с ума сходят.
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:57,600 Я правда не понимаю, почему они всем так нравятся.
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,120 Да это просто очередная мода и всё.
00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:02,580 Очень трудно найти самые необычные.
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,380 А ещё теперь все дети делают TikTokи с Лабубу.
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:06,750 TikTok с Лабубу?
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:09,710 Сами делают и сами смотрят. Я включу.
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,810 Вот Келли Бронсон из класса миссис Тёрнер.
00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:15,840 Всем приветики! Это ещё одна распаковка Лабубу.
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,410 Я купила её онлайн. И это точно не Лафуфу.
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:19,770 Потому что тут QR код.
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,090 Сейчас мы её откроем. Надеюсь, редкая!
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,950 Если да, то мне точно крышу снесёт!
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,200 Что там? Что там? Скорей!
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,180 Господи боже!
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:33,340 Обалдеть!!!
00:08:33,870 --> 00:08:35,920 Так, ну всё! Начинаем ритуал!
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,130 Какого чёрта?
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,780 Это TikTok с распаковкой Лабубу.
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,280 Дети по ним с ума сходят.
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,670 Да это же жуткий сатанинский ритуал!
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,620 Ну да, Лабубу — одержимы.
00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:07,760 Чёрная магия, ага.
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:12,080 Не знаю, из Китая такие приходят, или дети в них впускают шумерских демонов.
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,230 Месопотамских.
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,390 Точно. Что именно не так, Иисус?
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,550 Бро, это не нормально!
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,980 Дети в опасности!
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,780 Поэтому в школе и нужен психолог.
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,770 «ШАЙ-ЛЮШИЙ» ПОП-АП МАГАЗИН
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,760 Добро пожаловать в «Шай-Люший» поп-ап. Что вам?
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,940 У меня восемьдесят восемь долларов и сорок два цента. Нужна коробка.
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:48,630 Извини, секретная коробка с Лабубу стоит сто двадцать.
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:50,570 Что?! Было восемьдесят пять!
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:54,540 Да-да, но тариф расти! Никак не угадаешь, бред полный.
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,880 Но так же нельзя!
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:57,900 Да что ты? Тарифы нечестные!
00:09:57,970 --> 00:10:00,640 Прошу вас, сэр! Вечеринка моей девушки сегодня!
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:02,230 Мне нужна эта Лабубу!
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,170 Умоляю!
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,440 Тише, ничего страшного! Я знаю!
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:07,820 Хочешь секретную за меньше денег?
00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:09,760 Попробуй тот автомат!
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:11,390 Ну же, рискни!
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:15,890 Если достанешь секретную коробку, сможешь в ней найти ту самую Лабубу!
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,240 Эх, почти получилось! Ещё раз!
00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:30,570 Вот же блин!
00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:35,810 Ну нельзя же так! Они дети!
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:37,080 Опять начинаешь...
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:40,210 Сраные тарифы меня дерут, приходится драть детей!
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,880 Чего тебе непонятно?
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,410 Ты накликаешь беду на наш ресторан!
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,690 Вок назада не вернётся, сука! Вок — в бедность дорог!
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:52,304 КАБИНЕТ ПСИХОЛОГА
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,770 Спасибо, что пришли, миссис Пакстон, миссис Грей.
00:10:55,520 --> 00:11:00,640 Я вызвал вас в школу, потому что ваши дочери устроили серьёзную драку из-за Лабубу.
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,630 Что думаете делать?
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:08,130 Я думал о том, чтобы мы совместными усилиями спасли их от Лабубу.
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,610 Чудесно. Просто отобрать Лабубу.
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:11,770 Вы точно психолог?
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:17,850 Послушайте, я подозреваю, что дети проводят с Лабубу некий ритуал.
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,240 Для ритуала подходят только редкие.
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,860 С ними девчонки вызывают тёмные силы.
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,820 Вы знали, что они одержимы?!
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:27,090 Ну да, а что делать?!
00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:32,470 Дочь увидела в TikTok, как Келли Миллер призывает демона, и тоже захотела.
00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:35,480 Келли Миллер призвала демона?!
00:11:35,790 --> 00:11:37,160 Не знаю, она повесилась.
00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,970 Может, не давать девочкам сидеть в TikTok?!
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:43,880 Ага, не пускать детей в TikTok. Тоже мне психолог!
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,010 У вас дети есть?
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:45,810 У меня нет.
00:11:46,190 --> 00:11:46,880 Заметно.
00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:50,670 Заведёте - посмотрим, как будете прятать от них TikTok и поп-ап магазины.
00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:53,520 Подождите, что за поп-ап магазины?
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:56,110 Там девочки покупают себе Лабубу.
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:57,650 Откуда он взялся такой?
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,580 Мы же говорили, он отстой!
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,620 С вами срочный выпуск на Fox News!
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:10,307 Пока весь мир обсуждает американские тарифы, американцев мучает другой вопрос:
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,980 неужели президент Трамп трахает Сатану?
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:17,100 Президента всё реже видят с женой, и всё чаще с новым другом.
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:22,320 И весь мир уже думает: «Ну по-любому Дональд Трамп трахает Сатану».
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,820 Для тех, кто не уверен, что президент Трамп трахает Сатану,
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:31,210 Fox News достал материалы, где президент Трамп вроде как трахает Сатану.
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:35,040 Это вчера на корте, где президент героически играл в гольф.
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,780 Сами видите, как Сатана уходит в кусты, а президент Трамп за ним.
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:41,040 Он трахает Сатану. Карен, что думаешь?
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,610 Что президент точно трахает Сатану, и я просто в восторге!
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:49,860 Конечно, многие американцы считают, что президент не может трахать Сатану.
00:12:50,130 --> 00:12:53,780 Мы пригласили эксперта по языку тела, он объяснит, что это возможно.
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:57,210 Итак, если господин президент Трамп трахает Сатану,
00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:58,990 а я не утверждаю и не отрицаю.
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:00,700 Надеюсь, да...
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:03,450 И тогда скорее всего он заходит к нему сзади.
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:08,900 У Сатаны мощное телосложение, так что президенту пришлось бы запрыгивать и...
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:13,920 Наш президент делает то, что никто до него не делал! Обожаю его!
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:18,190 Даже если не верите, что президент трахает Сатану, он бы вот так трахал!
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,580 «ШАЙ-ЛЮШИЙ» ПОП-АП МАГАЗИН
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:33,310 Добро пожаловать в «Шай-Люший» поп-ап магазин! Что желаете?
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,290 Так это вы продаёте эти Лабубу моим ученикам?
00:13:38,010 --> 00:13:38,820 Вот чёрт.
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,620 Не я виноват, что цены такие «шай-люшие»!
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:43,010 Лабубу очень дорогие!
00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:45,420 Вы продаёте детям проклятые игрушки!
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:46,790 Я знаю, что прокляты!
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:49,190 Это всё тарифы. Передаёшь дальше.
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,010 Меня прокляли, а я вас. Это как СПИД!
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,670 Охренеть! Я нашёл!
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,640 Нашёл очень редкую!
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,730 Что? Как? Я не понял.
00:13:57,850 --> 00:14:01,190 Такую моя девушка хочет! Пойду к ней на день рождения!
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,540 Дитя моё, брось её, она опасна!
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:06,200 Так, нет, стоп, это суперредкая Лабубу!
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:08,980 Стоит долларов шестьсот! Плати тариф больше!
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,850 Не заставляй его платить! Он её выиграл!
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,430 Да мать твою, свали уже нахрен!
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:16,610 Слушайте меня оба!
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,690 Происходят очень серьёзные вещи!
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,630 Дитя моё, нельзя нести её на праздник!
00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:24,840 Сунь-чара, куда делася?
00:14:46,930 --> 00:14:47,530 Сатана.
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:50,450 А почему ты грустишь?
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:55,440 Я хочу сбежать подальше из этого места.
00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:58,480 Я тебя не понимаю.
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:02,710 Если ты не хочешь тут быть, почему ты тут?
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,670 Меня прибили к этому берегу тёмные течение рока.
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:12,400 Я пытался уйти месяцы тому назад, но не могу.
00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:16,260 Из-за того, что внутри этого ящика.
00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:21,170 И что в ящике?
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:27,660 Тайна, которую нужно хранить от всех, но скоро она станет явью.
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:31,220 Я уже чувствую ветер перемен.
00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:35,340 До решающей схватки осталось недолго.
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:43,790 С ДНЁМ РОЖДЕНИЯ, РЭД!!!
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,760 С днём рождения, Рэд!
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:57,620 Баттерс.
00:15:58,210 --> 00:15:58,750 Как?..
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:00,720 Это то, что я думаю?!
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,210 Придётся тебе открыть его и узнать самой.
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,080 Ничего себе...
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,900 Я люблю тебя, Баттерс!!!
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:13,930 Класс!
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,240 Это та самая, девочки!
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,770 - Обалдеть! - Какая крутая!
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,490 Ну какая же прелесть!
00:16:19,510 --> 00:16:21,350 Теперь у меня есть самая редкая!
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,340 Спасибо, Баттерс!
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:24,060 Ну и? Ты это сделаешь?
00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:26,590 Прямо ща! Идём наверх и за дело!
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,280 Что-что мы будем делать?
00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:29,660 В мою комнату, Баттерс!
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:30,530 О боже мой!
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,450 Если хотите посмотреть, как мы это делаем, за нами!
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:35,190 Хотим!
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:35,620 Да!
00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:37,800 Как-то всё быстро, Рэд!
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:38,624 Стой!
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,800 Начальная школа Саус Парка. Мы уже закрыты.
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:51,600 Бев, у кого из учениц сегодня день рождения?
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,530 А вы кто?
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,780 Это я, Иисус!
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:56,360 Кто?
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,050 Школьный психолог!
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:03,040 Не знаю я, у кого. Этим вообще-то психолог и занимался.
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,960 Проверь по записям. Пожалуйста.
00:17:06,930 --> 00:17:09,590 Жди. Теперь ещё и твою работу делаю.
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:15,410 Так, ну всё. Боже мой, как я счастлива наконец это сделать!
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:18,470 Ну... Я, наверное, тоже буду счастлив, Рэд.
00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:22,480 Всё вроде готово. Держи, будешь на видео снимать.
00:17:22,850 --> 00:17:24,490 Может, сначала поцелуемся?
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:27,910 Приветики-букетики! Это мой TikTok Лабубу!
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:30,460 У меня суперредкая. Получится? Узнаем.
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:31,860 Мы хотим посмотреть.
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,270 Заходите девчонки, да!
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,580 Лабубу! Лабубу!
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,360 Лабубу! Лабубу!
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,700 Божечки мои-и.
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:42,760 Лабубу! Лабубу!
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:45,960 Господи!
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,900 Лабубу! Лабубу!
00:17:57,010 --> 00:18:00,480 Лабубу! Лабубу!
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:01,590 Получилось!
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,950 Взываю к демоническим силам!
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,390 Явитесь пред нами на моей дэ-рэшке!
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:12,870 Как же офигенно!
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:17,140 Та-да-а!
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:21,260 И вот это трахает Сатану?
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,940 Нет, да не трахаю я Сатану!
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,850 Это мегасрочный выпуск на Fox News!!!
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,160 Возможно, только что Трампа и Сатану видели вместе!
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,380 По слухам, они в небольшом городке в Скалистых горах.
00:18:38,390 --> 00:18:40,260 Спросим нашего коллегу из Колорадо.
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:44,950 Да уж, тут огромные чёрные тучи, и роями летает саранча.
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,520 Наверняка очередная вечеринка с Лабубу.
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:51,660 А президент с Сатаной обычно появляются на таких мероприятиях.
00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:54,470 У нас есть люди в небе. Парни, ну что там?
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:58,130 Сами видите, как маленькие девочки бегают и орут.
00:18:58,190 --> 00:19:00,650 Президент выходит из дома на лужайку...
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:01,760 Да, за ним Сатана!
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,350 Они точно тусуются вместе.
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:05,510 Ну всё, уходим!
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:07,520 Люцифер!
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:11,030 Что ж...
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,110 И вот он ты.
00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:17,260 Что бы ты ни творил, Сатана, уж я-то узнаю.
00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:24,500 Похоже, Иисус Христос явился туда же, и намечается библейская битва!
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:29,110 Я лицезрел твои злодеяния, Сатана. Велю тебе покинуть эти земли!
00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:33,640 Думаешь, я сам уйти не хочу?! Только вот я привязан к нему!
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,600 В смысле, привязан?
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,770 Ну ладно. Всё. Слушайте!
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,040 Хотите правду знать?
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,880 Да! Мы с ним вместе!
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:48,970 Мы вместе уже несколько месяцев. Я хочу уйти от него.
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,140 Только не могу!
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:51,780 Потому что..
00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:54,560 Я беремен.
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,460 РЕЗУЛЬТАТ: БЕРЕМЕННОСТЬ
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,640 Он беременный?
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,368 Теперь все всё знают.
00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:12,410 Мне придётся быть с ним рядом ещё несколько лет.
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:21,130 Сатана оказался в ловушке в Белом Доме, потому что он беремен.
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:25,680 Давайте спросим нашего эксперта, возможно ли вообще такое.
00:20:26,170 --> 00:20:31,740 Видите ли, демоны беременеют слегка иначе. Верный термин: «задёныш».
00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:36,540 Значит, всё же да. Сатана вынашивает ребёнка президента.
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:42,840 Fox News теперь официально заявляет, что президент Трамп уже давно насаживал Сатану.
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:43,620 Да!
00:20:43,850 --> 00:20:44,570 Да!!!
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,020 Великий день для Fox News!
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,270 Ура Fox News!
00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:50,930 Всем, кто сомневался, что Трамп трахает Сатану —
00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:52,500 Выкусите!
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:56,830 Мы на связи с Кид Роком. Кид, вас захлестнули эмоции?
00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:01,370 Я-я, если честно, до последнего не верил, что президент насаживал Сатану.
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:06,760 Но теперь я узнал, что он трахал его всё это время и, Господи, как я счастлив!
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,590 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,800 Надеюсь, дети, вы усвоили ценный урок:
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:18,870 если заниматься всяким забыв про безопасность, встретитесь с последствиями.
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,200 Я сексом долго не буду заниматься!
00:21:24,290 --> 00:21:25,950 А я бросаю эти Лабубу.
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,460 Это отлично. Потому что я решил запретить Лабубу в школе.
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:32,940 И TikTok. И мобильные телефоны.
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:35,940 Идите в класс, оба наказаны на две недели.
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:37,410 Вот блин!
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,450 Новый психолог какой-то мудак.
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,700 Да, но точно лучше предыдущего.
00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:48,520 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,829 <i>♪ MTV</i>
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,490 <i>♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,449 <i>♪ Gonna have myself a time</i>
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,929 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,844 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,063 <i>♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,933 <i>♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪</i>
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,719 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,503 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:26,722 <i>♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,854 <i>♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪</i>
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,336 <i>♪ Come on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,165 <i>♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪</i>
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,306 Betsy! Betsy! Guess what?
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,263 My dad took me to the Asian pop-up store.
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,439 Look what I got.
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,789 Serenity Labubu.
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,009 - Oh, it's so cute! - Isn't it?
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,488 I was at the Asian pop-up too.
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,577 No way!
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,056 Yeah, look what I got.
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,753 The Loyalty Labubu!
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,017 Oh, my God, it's so cute!
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,279 - I know, right? - Yeah, I love it.
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,239 Oh, dude, dude, check it out.
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,327 It's about to happen again.
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,762 Ah, shit.
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,113 I actually have Loyalty Labubu already,
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,548 and I have a little costume for it.
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,769 That is seriously so cute.
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,945 Kenny, you guys, girls with Labubus.
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,163 It's about to happen again.
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,078 Come on!
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,471 And then, believe it or not,
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:23,126 I actually have Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,736 No way! That is the rarest one.
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,217 Isn't it so cute?
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,915 So thinking cute! But it's really rare.
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,047 Are you sure it's not a knockoff?
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,135 Oh, dog, here we go.
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,788 Yeah, I checked.
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,921 If anyone's fake, it's probably yours, you fat bitch.
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,619 - Suck it, skank! - Eat shit!
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,794 Stupid slut!
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,710 Ahh!
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:44,843 Yeah, yeah!
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,847 - Yeah, yeah! - Hey!
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,240 Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up!
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,722 She's rubbing everyone's noses in her Labubus.
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:57,246 Both of you to the counselor's office, now!
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,162 - She totally started it! - I did not.
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,729 Shut up. I did not.
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,513 She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,035 and started talking shit.
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:07,083 You talk shit about my Labubus every day, whore.
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,868 Um...
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,653 yea, love your enemies
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,742 and pray for those who persecute you.
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,352 Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knockoffs.
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:19,748 I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu?
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,401 It's a little monster accessory.
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,620 They come in blind boxes,
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,187 so you never know which one you're gonna get.
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,623 Like, you could just luck out
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,581 and get a Time to Chill Pajama Gold Labubu.
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,018 Oh, my God, that one is so cute.
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,367 It's so cute, right?
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,847 Uh, all right, ladies,
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,631 w-why don't you just give me the dolls
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,198 until the end of the school day?
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,635 both: That's not fair!
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,984 Go on out to recess.
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,856 You can pick up your Labubus after school.
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,640 Wow. What kind of counseling was that?
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,643 I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,992 Our old counselor was so much better.
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,441 Yeah, yeah, yeah, get some more over there.
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,051 This side's starting to fall.
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,400 We are the kings of the castle!
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794 Let us in!
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,230 Hey, Butters.
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:10,364 Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,888 Um, I was just wondering
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,411 what you're doing this weekend.
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,459 Who, me?
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,895 Yeah.
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,723 Um, I'm having a birthday party at my house,
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:26,858 and I was seeing if maybe you'd want to come hang out?
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,687 You're talking about me?
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,646 Yeah, I don't know, it's probably stupid.
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,388 I shouldn't have asked. Never mind.
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,215 No, no, I'd love to come hang out with you
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,259 on your birthday, Red.
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260 Really? You would?
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,261 Well, sure!
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,697 Okay, that's great.
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,133 I'll text you all the details.
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,005 Okay, Red, I'll see you there.
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,616 Okay, and um,
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,356 maybe I'll text you my birthday wishlist, too,
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,098 in case, you know, you want to get me a present.
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,969 Sure thing!
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,713 Oh, my God, you guys,
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,671 Red wants to hang out with me!
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,586 That's incredible!
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,328 Bro, it seems like she really likes you.
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,984 "Really excited to see you Saturday."
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,290 Whoa.
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,423 Me and Red. - Lucky.
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:14,514 "Here is my birthday gift wishlist."
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,259 "This exact Labubu."
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:26,004 Holy shit, you guys, you know what I think?
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,484 I think on Saturday I'm gonna find out if red-haired girls
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,746 have a red bush!
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,358 - Wow! - Wow!
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:34,969 <i>♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,458 Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store.
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,981 Can I take a order, please?
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,811 Wait, didn't this place used to be City Wok?
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,987 Yeah, but whole country change.
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:52,944 Didn't you hear the news?
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,641 Wok is dead.
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,253 This City Pop-Up now. What do you like to have?
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,775 We got City Pop-up key chains,
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,169 City cell phone charm,
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,910 City anime sculpture.
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,215 Well, actually, I'm looking for a Labubu.
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,480 Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu.
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,219 They real hard to keep in stock.
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,396 Very expensive 'cause of tariffs.
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,050 You know, uh, it's really important.
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,487 I got this new girlfriend,
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,924 and she wants this specific Labubu for her birthday.
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,012 Oh, that very rare Labubu.
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,189 You only find that in a mystery box.
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,712 Mystery box?
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,584 Hi. Are you guys still serving food?
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,933 No, no, no, Wok is dead. Haven't you heard the news?
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,371 Can't I just buy this Labubu?
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,852 No, that not the way it work.
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,983 You buy mystery box, you open it,
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,595 hopefully you get the one you want.
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,378 Okay, how much is a mystery box?
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,337 $85.
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,426 85?
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,384 Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,819 You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no.
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,169 You pay tariff.
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,606 Well, okay, I'll take one.
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,143 Yeah, well, Wok is dead, you stupid bitch!
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,493 Stop nagging me!
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,886 Ah, dang it!
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,540 This is the wrong one!
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,759 Oh, yeah, that just Happiness Labubu.
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,194 Very common. Very common.
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,066 You try again, $85.
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,285 I have to pay another $85
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,984 and I still might not get the one I want?
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,072 Hey, it's not me, it's your government.
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,378 I don't get fucked by tariff.
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,075 You get fucked by tariff.
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,905 In China, we call that hot potato.
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,298 <i> You're watching Fox News.</i>
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,780 <i>The president has just returned</i>
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:32,913 <i>from his historic tariff summit overseas.</i>
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,829 <i>There's the president now, looking handsome as ever.</i>
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,745 <i>Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness,</i>
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,878 <i>who's been traveling with the president as of late.</i>
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,966 <i>The president has made his way off of Air Force One</i>
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,186 <i>and will now speak to a diverse crowd of reporters.</i>
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,625 Mr. Pre--Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go?
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,367 Ah, they went great, buddy!
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,893 Mr. President, we're all dying to know something.
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,286 Your wife, Melania, has been staying in New York
00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,679 and away from the White House.
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,942 That's right!
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:04,119 Well, what Fox News really wants to know is
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,077 are you fucking Satan?
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,516 No! I'm not fucking Satan!
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,127 We're just sorta hanging out.
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,042 Oh, come on, President Trump.
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,565 With everything you've been doing,
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,046 pretty much the whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now.
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,830 I'm not fucking Satan!
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:22,311 Can we go, please?
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,837 He is fucking Satan.
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,752 That guy's definitely fucking Satan.
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:29,840 What a stud.
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,886 Yeah, Fox News!
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,366 All right, everyone, listen up,
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,150 As you know, there's a lot being done in the country
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,066 to bring Christian values back to our schools.
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,763 Our new school counselor has some concerns
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:40,764 that I understand he'd like to voice.
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:41,809 Go ahead, Jesus.
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,640 Well, I'm just a bit confused
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,772 about the dramatic rise in fist fighting
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,382 over these Labubus.
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,558 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,733 Oh, the Labubus.
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,777 Kids go nuts for 'em.
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:58,128 I just don't quite understand what the fascination is.
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,392 Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know.
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,960 They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one.
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,527 Yeah, and then all the kids make their Labubu TikToks.
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,181 Labubu TikTok?
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,749 Yeah, the kids make 'em and they watch 'em.
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,184 I can pull one up.
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,883 This is Kelly Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class.
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,929 <i>Hey, guys, this is another Labubu unboxing video!</i>
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,192 <i>I got this Labubu online.</i>
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,497 I'm pretty sure it's not a Lafufu.
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,977 I got the QR code right here.
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,979 <i>We're gonna see what we got. Hope it's a rare one.</i>
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,154 If it is, I'm absolutely gonna freak out.
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,549 Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see!
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,942 <i>♪ Labu ♪</i>
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,120 <i>Oh, my God!</i>
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,991 Oh, my God!
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,992 Okay, okay, let's start the ritual.
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,167 <i>♪ Labubu</i>
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:40,563 <i>♪ Labu-bu</i>
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,391 <i>♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪</i>
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,176 <i>♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu</i>
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,005 <i>♪ Labubu, Labubu</i>
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,448 What the hell was that?
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,973 That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok.
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,237 Kids go nuts for 'em.
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,805 But that's, like, some dark Satanic ritual.
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,588 Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,025 Yeah, dark magic.
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,678 I don't know if they come that way from China,
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,247 or the kids are infusing them with some Sumerian dark entity.
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,683 It's Mesopotamian.
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598 Got it. So what are your major concerns, Jesus?
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,340 Bro.
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,821 That's not normal.
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,518 These kids are in trouble.
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,216 Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor.
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,754 Welcome City Pop-Up. Take order, please.
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,669 I have $88.42 in here.
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,235 I need to buy another mystery box.
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:48,631 Oh, sorry, Labubu mystery box $120.
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,677 What? It was $85!
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,504 Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,636 You never know with tariffs. They make no sense.
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,986 But that's not fair!
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,074 Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair!
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,643 Please, sir, my girlfriend's party is today,
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,165 and I have to get the Labubu she wants.
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,297 Please!
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,342 It's okay, it's okay.
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,909 I have idea.
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,129 You want mystery box for cheap price?
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,348 You use claw machine.
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,697 You try your luck.
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,742 Use claw machine to get a mystery box,
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,876 open it up, hopefully you get good Labubu you want.
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,487 <i>♪ Labubu</i>
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,230 <i>♪ Labu-labu-labu</i>
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,101 <i>♪ Labubu ♪</i>
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:27,103 <i>♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪</i>
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,409 Oh, you so close.
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,454 Try again.
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:32,109 Oh, jeez.
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,068 <i>♪ Labubu ♪</i>
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,549 Oh, here we go.
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,378 I get screwed by tariffs, so I have to screw the children!
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,945 What do you not understand?
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,429 Yeah, well, Wok's not coming back, bitch!
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,953 Go wok, go brok!
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,651 <i>♪ Labu ♪</i>
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,393 <i>Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.</i>
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:58,569 The reason I called you in today is because your girls were
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,355 in a major altercation over their Labubus.
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,793 Okay, so what are you gonna do about it?
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,013 Well, I was hoping we could work together
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,579 to maybe just keep them away from the Labubus.
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,712 Oh, sure, just take their Labubus away.
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,366 Great counseling.
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,978 Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,199 Labubus for some kind of... ritual.
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,636 Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one.
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,943 They're the only ones girls can use in dark rituals.
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,118 You know that they're demonic?
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,512 Yeah. What are we supposed to do?
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:30,080 My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning demonic forces
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:33,561 on TikTok, then she wants to be like Kelly Miller.
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,782 Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces?
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,609 I don't know, she hung herself.
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,308 Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok.
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,179 Oh, yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok.
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,964 That's some clever counseling there.
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,096 - Do you have kids? - No, I don't.
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,794 - Figures. - Well, when you do,
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,230 you try and keep 'em off of TikTok
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,101 and out of the Asian pop-up store.
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,974 Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store?
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,366 That's where the girls get all the Labubus.
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,846 Where did they find this guy?
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,936 We told you he was a crappy counselor
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,985 <i> This is a Fox News Alert!</i>
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,988 As debates on American tariffs continue,
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,468 the question on every American's mind tonight,
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:13,427 is President Trump fucking Satan?
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,603 The president's been seen less and less with his wife
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,475 and more often with his new pal,
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,434 making people all around the world say,
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:22,828 "Donald Trump has got to be fucking Satan, for sure."
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,960 Well, for all of us who are still skeptical
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,962 that President Trump is fucking Satan,
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,704 Fox News has obtained some footage
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,662 of President Trump seeming to be fucking Satan.
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,361 This was at a golf course yesterday
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,450 where the president was heroically golfing.
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,452 You can just make out Satan going behind a bush
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,149 and President Trump right there--
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,282 he's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you think?
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,806 I think the president is definitely fucking Satan,
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,939 and I love it.
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,679 Of course, a lot of Americans still argue
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,203 there's no way the president could be fucking Satan.
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,205 So we have a body language expert to show us
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,120 just how it is possible.
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:57,167 Well, if Mr. President Trump is fucking Satan--
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,994 and I'm not saying if he is or isn't.
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,214 I'm just kinda hoping he is--
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,869 he mostly likely is coming in from the back.
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,349 Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence,
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,482 so we're pretty sure President Trump would have to get on top
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,832 and-- - Ah!
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,485 Oh, my God, the president is doing things
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:12,616 no other president has done before.
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,357 I love him.
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,272 If you don't think President Trump is fucking Satan,
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,188 this definitely proves how he could be!
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,202 Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store.
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,769 Take order, please.
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,249 Are you the one that has been selling all these Labubus
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,859 to my students?
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,209 Oh, boy.
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,559 Look, it not my fault, these city prices, okay?
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,256 Labubus very expensive.
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,475 Those dolls you are selling are cursed!
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,087 Yeah, no shit they cursed.
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,523 It's called tariff. You pass it along.
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,873 I get the curse, I put the curse on you.
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,353 It's like AIDS.
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,920 Oh, my God, I got it!
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,226 I got the super rare!
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,966 Hey, what the hell you talking about?
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,534 This is the one my girlfriend wants!
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,579 Now I can take it to her birthday party!
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,711 My child, put that down, it's dangerous!
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,454 Hey, hey, hold on, that's super rare Labubu.
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,196 That worth, like, $600. You gotta pay more tariff.
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,331 Oh, my God, will you go away?
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,985 Listen, both of you!
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,509 There are more important issues at hand.
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,991 My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party.
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255 Ah, shit, where he go?
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,887 Satan?
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,847 Why are you so sad?
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:56,895 I wish to be gone from this place.
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,202 I do not understand.
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,161 If you do not want to be here,
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:04,033 then why do you stay?
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:08,646 I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny.
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:13,607 I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:17,917 because of what's in this box.
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,877 What's in the box?
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,880 The secret none must know,
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:28,884 and yet, all will soon discover.
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,018 I can feel the tides of change.
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:36,022 The final showdown is upon us.
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,999 Happy birthday, Red!
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,435 Butters.
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,916 Wait. Is that what I think it is?
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,137 Well, you'll have to wait till you open it to find out--
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,441 Oh, all right then.
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,841 I love you, Butters!
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,017 Wow!
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,236 I got it, you guys!
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,933 - Oh, wow! - It's so cool!
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,455 Oh, it's so cute!
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,849 I got the super rare,
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,459 all thanks to Butters.
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,374 So are you gonna do it?
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,810 Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs and do it!
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,247 Whoa! We're gonna what?
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597 Come up to my room, Butters!
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:30,598 Oh, my God!
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,514 Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it,
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,644 come on up!
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,124 - Okay, yeah. - Great.
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,040 Oh! This is all really sudden, Red!
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,214 Wait!
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,094 South Park Elementary. I'm sorry, we're closed.
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,487 Bev! I need to know which of the students
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,533 has a birthday today.
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:53,621 Who is this?
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,753 It's me, Jesus!
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,885 Who?
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,321 The school counselor!
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,149 Oh. I don't know who has a birthday today.
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,673 That was actually always the counselor's job.
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,807 Can you just look it up in the school records, please?
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,069 Hang on.
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420 Guess I'm doing your job too now.
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,727 Okay, okay. Oh, my God.
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,860 I'm so excited to finally do it.
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,907 Well, yeah, I guess I'm excited to do it, too, Red.
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,734 Okay, I think we're all ready.
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,867 Here, you take a video of the whole thing.
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,173 Whoa! Can't we just kiss first?
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,177 Hey! What's up, guys? This is my TikTok Labubu video.
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,571 I got the super rare, so let's see if it works.
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,007 Hey, we want to watch.
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,140 Yeah, come on in, you guys.
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,666 Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,362 Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,756 What the heck's going on? all: Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,105 Ah!
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,064 Oh, God!
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,945 all: Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,557 Labubu, Labubu.
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,689 Here he comes!
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,173 Ah!
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,000 We call the demonic forces!
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,524 Appear before us at my birthday party!
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,917 This is so cool!
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,531 Ta-da!
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,575 all: Ew!
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,404 Wait, that thing is fucking Satan?
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,363 No! I'm not fucking Satan!
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,067 <i> This is a Fox News Super Alert!</i>
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,330 We may just have another Trump and Satan spotting.
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,724 The two are rumored to be
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,377 in a small mountain town in the Rockies.
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,423 Let's go to our Colorado affiliate.
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,121 Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,340 and swarms of locusts here.
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,777 Um, probably another Labubu party.
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:49,431 You know, whenever there's a Labubu party,
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,825 the president and Satan usually make an appearance.
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,219 We've got our eye in the sky now.
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,742 Guys, what are you seeing?
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,612 <i> Yeah, you can see little girls</i>
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,267 <i>running and screaming.</i>
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,182 <i>The president just coming out onto the front lawn--</i>
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,836 <i>and yes, there is Satan.</i>
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,881 <i>They're definitely hanging out.</i>
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,579 Come on, let's go!
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,104 Lucifer!
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,410 So...
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,803 it is you.
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,936 Just what are you doing, Satan?
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,633 I will know.
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,422 Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,814 for some kind of biblical showdown.
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,077 I have seen your evil at work, Satan.
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,602 I bid you leave this realm at once.
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,822 You think I don't want to leave?
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,911 I am bound to him!
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,825 Bound to him how?
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,568 All right, fine! Here!
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:41,049 You all want to know the truth?
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,271 Yes! We're together!
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,402 We've been together for months,
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:50,841 and I want to leave him, but I can't
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,148 because...
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,802 I'm pregnant.
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,420 He's pregnant?
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,596 Whoa.
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,511 So now you all know.
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,035 I am forced to stay in this situation
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,950 for several more years.
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:19,522 Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,742 because he's pregnant.
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,700 Uh, let's get our science expert in here
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,050 to see if that's actually possible.
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:29,532 Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different.
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,360 The term is "butt baby."
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,927 All right, well, that seems to be it.
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,192 Satan is pregnant with the president's child.
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,977 So Fox News can now confirm
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:43,111 Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this whole time.
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,503 Yeah!
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:45,808 This is a great day for Fox News.
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,115 Yes, Fox News!
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,726 For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,337 wasn't fucking Satan,
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,990 in your face!
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,862 We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock.
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,342 Kid, you must be overcome with emotion.
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,692 I just-- I just honestly didn't think
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,956 the president was fucking Satan, but
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,872 now knowing that he has been this whole time,
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,830 I'm just so happy.
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:13,967 <i>Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson.</i>
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:16,971 If you mess around and you aren't safe,
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,887 it can have really big consequences.
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:24,282 Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time.
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,196 And I'm done with Labubus.
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:28,547 Well, that's good, because as your counselor,
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,680 I'm banning Labubus from school.
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,379 And TikTok. And cell phones.
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:34,597 Now get back to class.
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,251 You both have detention for two weeks.
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,471 Oh, man!
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:40,733 Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick.
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,824 Yeah, but he's better than the last guy.
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,482 <i>♪ Labubu</i>
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:51,614 <i>♪ La, labu-labu ♪</i>

00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,829 <i>- ♪ MTV</i>
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:12,186 <i>[theme music]</i>
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,490 <i>- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,449 <i>♪ Gonna have myself a time</i>
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,929 - ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,844 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,063 <i>- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,933 <i>♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪</i>
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,719 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,503 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:26,722 <i>- ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,854 <i>♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪</i>
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:32,118 - ♪ [mumbling] ♪
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,336 <i>- ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,165 <i>♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪</i>
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:42,433 <i>[twangy guitar music]</i>
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,306 - Betsy! Betsy! Guess what?
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,263 My dad took me to the Asian pop-up store.
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,439 Look what I got.
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,789 Serenity Labubu.
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,009 - Oh, it's so cute! - Isn't it?
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,488 - I was at the Asian pop-up too.
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,577 - No way!
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,056 - Yeah, look what I got.
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,753 The Loyalty Labubu!
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,017 - Oh, my God, it's so cute!
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,279 - I know, right? - Yeah, I love it.
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,239 - Oh, dude, dude, check it out.
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,327 It's about to happen again.
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,762 - Ah, shit.
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,113 - I actually have Loyalty Labubu already,
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,548 and I have a little costume for it.
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,769 - That is seriously so cute.
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,945 - Kenny, you guys, girls with Labubus.
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,163 It's about to happen again.
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,078 - [muffled speech] - Come on!
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,471 - And then, believe it or not,
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:23,126 I actually have Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,736 - No way! That is the rarest one.
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,217 - Isn't it so cute?
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,915 - So thinking cute! But it's really rare.
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,047 Are you sure it's not a knockoff?
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,135 - Oh, dog, here we go.
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,788 - Yeah, I checked.
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,921 If anyone's fake, it's probably yours, you fat bitch.
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,619 - Suck it, skank! - Eat shit!
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,794 - Stupid slut!
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,535 [screaming, cheering]
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,710 - Ahh!
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,755 - [screams]
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:44,843 - Yeah, yeah!
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,194 [blows landing]
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,847 - Yeah, yeah! - Hey!
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,240 Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up!
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,722 - She's rubbing everyone's noses in her Labubus.
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:57,246 - Both of you to the counselor's office, now!
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,162 - She totally started it! - I did not.
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,729 Shut up. I did not.
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,513 - She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,035 and started talking shit.
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:07,083 - You talk shit about my Labubus every day, whore.
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,868 - Um...
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,653 yea, love your enemies
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,742 and pray for those who persecute you.
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,352 - Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knockoffs.
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:19,748 - I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu?
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,401 - It's a little monster accessory.
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,620 - They come in blind boxes,
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,187 so you never know which one you're gonna get.
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,623 - Like, you could just luck out
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,581 and get a Time to Chill Pajama Gold Labubu.
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,018 - Oh, my God, that one is so cute.
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,367 - It's so cute, right?
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,847 - Uh, all right, ladies,
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,631 w-why don't you just give me the dolls
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,198 until the end of the school day?
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,635 both: That's not fair!
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,984 - Go on out to recess.
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,856 You can pick up your Labubus after school.
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,640 - Wow. What kind of counseling was that?
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,643 - I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,992 - Our old counselor was so much better.
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,952 <i>[melancholy music]</i>
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:56,828 <i>♪</i>
00:02:56,959 --> 00:03:00,005 [kids screaming]
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,441 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, get some more over there.
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,051 - This side's starting to fall.
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,400 - We are the kings of the castle!
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794 Let us in!
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,230 - Hey, Butters.
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:10,364 - Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,888 - Um, I was just wondering
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,411 what you're doing this weekend.
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,459 - Who, me?
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,895 - Yeah.
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,723 Um, I'm having a birthday party at my house,
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:26,858 and I was seeing if maybe you'd want to come hang out?
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,687 - You're talking about me?
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,646 - Yeah, I don't know, it's probably stupid.
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,388 I shouldn't have asked. Never mind.
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,215 - No, no, I'd love to come hang out with you
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,259 on your birthday, Red.
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260 - Really? You would?
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,261 - Well, sure!
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,697 - Okay, that's great.
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,133 I'll text you all the details.
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,005 - Okay, Red, I'll see you there.
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,616 - Okay, and um,
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,356 maybe I'll text you my birthday wishlist, too,
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,098 in case, you know, you want to get me a present.
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,969 - Sure thing!
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,713 Oh, my God, you guys,
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,671 Red wants to hang out with me!
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,586 - That's incredible!
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,328 - Bro, it seems like she really likes you.
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,504 <i>[phone chimes]</i>
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,984 BUTTERS: "Really excited to see you Saturday."
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,290 Whoa.
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,423 Me and Red. - Lucky.
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,772 <i>[notification swooshes]</i>
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:14,514 BUTTERS: "Here is my birthday gift wishlist."
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,255 <i>[notifications swoosh]</i>
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,259 "This exact Labubu."
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:26,004 Holy shit, you guys, you know what I think?
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,484 I think on Saturday I'm gonna find out if red-haired girls
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,746 have a red bush!
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,358 - Wow! - Wow!
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,447 <i>[upbeat music]</i>
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:34,969 <i>- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,580 <i>[singing in foreign language]</i>
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:42,150 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,458 - Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store.
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,981 Can I take a order, please?
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,811 - Wait, didn't this place used to be City Wok?
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,987 - Yeah, but whole country change.
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:52,944 Didn't you hear the news?
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,641 Wok is dead.
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,253 This City Pop-Up now. What do you like to have?
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,775 We got City Pop-up key chains,
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,169 City cell phone charm,
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,910 City anime sculpture.
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,215 - Well, actually, I'm looking for a Labubu.
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,480 - Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu.
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,219 They real hard to keep in stock.
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,396 Very expensive 'cause of tariffs.
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,050 - You know, uh, it's really important.
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,487 I got this new girlfriend,
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,924 and she wants this specific Labubu for her birthday.
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,012 - Oh, that very rare Labubu.
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,189 You only find that in a mystery box.
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,712 - Mystery box?
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,584 - Hi. Are you guys still serving food?
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,933 - No, no, no, Wok is dead. Haven't you heard the news?
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,587 <i>♪</i>
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,371 - Can't I just buy this Labubu?
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,852 - No, that not the way it work.
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,983 You buy mystery box, you open it,
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,595 hopefully you get the one you want.
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,378 - Okay, how much is a mystery box?
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,337 - $85.
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,426 - 85?
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,384 - Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,819 You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no.
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,169 You pay tariff.
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,606 - Well, okay, I'll take one.
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,957 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,143 - Yeah, well, Wok is dead, you stupid bitch!
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,493 Stop nagging me!
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,886 [package tears] BUTTERS: Ah, dang it!
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,540 This is the wrong one!
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,759 - Oh, yeah, that just Happiness Labubu.
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,194 Very common. Very common.
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,066 You try again, $85.
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,285 - I have to pay another $85
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,984 and I still might not get the one I want?
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,072 - Hey, it's not me, it's your government.
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,378 I don't get fucked by tariff.
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,075 You get fucked by tariff.
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,905 In China, we call that hot potato.
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,297 <i>[dynamic music]</i>
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,298 <i>ANNOUNCER: You're watching Fox News.</i>
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,780 <i>REPORTER: The president has just returned</i>
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:32,913 <i>from his historic tariff summit overseas.</i>
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,829 <i>There's the president now, looking handsome as ever.</i>
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,745 <i>Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness,</i>
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,878 <i>who's been traveling with the president as of late.</i>
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,966 <i>The president has made his way off of Air Force One</i>
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,186 <i>and will now speak to a diverse crowd of reporters.</i>
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,927 [reporters clamoring]
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,625 - Mr. Pre--Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go?
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,367 - Ah, they went great, buddy!
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,108 [reporters clamoring]
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,893 - Mr. President, we're all dying to know something.
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,286 Your wife, Melania, has been staying in New York
00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,679 and away from the White House.
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,942 - That's right!
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:04,119 - Well, what Fox News really wants to know is
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,077 are you fucking Satan?
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,516 - No! I'm not fucking Satan!
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,127 - We're just sorta hanging out.
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,042 - Oh, come on, President Trump.
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,565 With everything you've been doing,
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,046 pretty much the whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now.
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,830 - I'm not fucking Satan!
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:22,311 - Can we go, please?
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,837 - He is fucking Satan.
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,752 - That guy's definitely fucking Satan.
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:29,840 What a stud.
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,886 - Yeah, Fox News!
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,366 PC PRINCIPAL: All right, everyone, listen up,
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,150 As you know, there's a lot being done in the country
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,066 to bring Christian values back to our schools.
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,763 Our new school counselor has some concerns
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:40,764 that I understand he'd like to voice.
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:41,809 Go ahead, Jesus.
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,640 - Well, I'm just a bit confused
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,772 about the dramatic rise in fist fighting
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,382 over these Labubus.
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,558 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,733 - Oh, the Labubus.
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,777 - Kids go nuts for 'em.
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:58,128 - I just don't quite understand what the fascination is.
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,392 - Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know.
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,960 - They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one.
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,527 - Yeah, and then all the kids make their Labubu TikToks.
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,181 - Labubu TikTok?
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,749 - Yeah, the kids make 'em and they watch 'em.
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,184 I can pull one up.
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,883 This is Kelly Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class.
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,929 <i>- Hey, guys, this is another Labubu unboxing video!</i>
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,192 <i>I got this Labubu online.</i>
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,497 I'm pretty sure it's not a Lafufu.
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,977 I got the QR code right here.
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,979 <i>We're gonna see what we got. Hope it's a rare one.</i>
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,154 If it is, I'm absolutely gonna freak out.
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,549 Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see!
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,942 <i>- ♪ Labu ♪</i>
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,770 - [screaming]
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,120 <i>Oh, my God!</i>
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,991 Oh, my God!
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,992 Okay, okay, let's start the ritual.
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,167 <i>- ♪ Labubu</i>
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:40,563 <i>♪ Labu-bu</i>
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,391 <i>♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪</i>
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,176 <i>♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu</i>
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,005 <i>♪ Labubu, Labubu</i>
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:50,617 <i>[static droning, heavy breathing]</i>
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:54,142 - [screaming]
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,448 - What the hell was that?
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,973 - That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok.
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,237 - Kids go nuts for 'em.
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,805 - But that's, like, some dark Satanic ritual.
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,588 - Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,025 - Yeah, dark magic.
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,678 - I don't know if they come that way from China,
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,247 or the kids are infusing them with some Sumerian dark entity.
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,683 - It's Mesopotamian.
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598 - Got it. So what are your major concerns, Jesus?
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,340 - Bro.
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,821 That's not normal.
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,518 These kids are in trouble.
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,216 - Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor.
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:28,219 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,786 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:36,097 <i>[upbeat music]</i>
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,664 <i>[singing in foreign language]</i>
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,754 - Welcome City Pop-Up. Take order, please.
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,669 - I have $88.42 in here.
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,235 I need to buy another mystery box.
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:48,631 - Oh, sorry, Labubu mystery box $120.
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,677 - What? It was $85!
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,504 - Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,636 You never know with tariffs. They make no sense.
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,986 - But that's not fair!
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,074 - Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair!
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,643 - Please, sir, my girlfriend's party is today,
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,165 and I have to get the Labubu she wants.
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,297 Please!
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,342 - It's okay, it's okay.
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,909 I have idea.
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,129 You want mystery box for cheap price?
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,348 You use claw machine.
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,697 You try your luck.
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,742 Use claw machine to get a mystery box,
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,876 open it up, hopefully you get good Labubu you want.
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:17,877 <i>[upbeat music]</i>
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,487 <i>- ♪ Labubu</i>
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,230 <i>♪ Labu-labu-labu</i>
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,101 <i>♪ Labubu ♪</i>
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:27,103 <i>♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪</i>
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,409 MR. KIM: Oh, you so close.
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,454 Try again.
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:32,109 - Oh, jeez.
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,068 <i>- ♪ Labubu ♪</i>
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,549 - Oh, here we go.
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,378 I get screwed by tariffs, so I have to screw the children!
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,945 What do you not understand?
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:42,946 - [huffs]
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,429 - Yeah, well, Wok's not coming back, bitch!
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,953 Go wok, go brok!
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,651 [machine beeps] <i>- ♪ Labu ♪</i>
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,393 <i>JESUS: Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.</i>
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:58,569 The reason I called you in today is because your girls were
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,355 in a major altercation over their Labubus.
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,793 - Okay, so what are you gonna do about it?
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,013 - Well, I was hoping we could work together
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,579 to maybe just keep them away from the Labubus.
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,712 - Oh, sure, just take their Labubus away.
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,366 Great counseling.
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,978 - Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,199 Labubus for some kind of... ritual.
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,636 - Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one.
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,943 - They're the only ones girls can use in dark rituals.
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,118 - You know that they're demonic?
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,512 - Yeah. What are we supposed to do?
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:30,080 My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning demonic forces
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:33,561 on TikTok, then she wants to be like Kelly Miller.
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,782 - Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces?
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,609 - I don't know, she hung herself.
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,308 - Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok.
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,179 - Oh, yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok.
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,964 That's some clever counseling there.
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,096 - Do you have kids? - No, I don't.
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,794 - Figures. - Well, when you do,
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,230 you try and keep 'em off of TikTok
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,101 and out of the Asian pop-up store.
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,974 - Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store?
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,366 - That's where the girls get all the Labubus.
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,846 - Where did they find this guy?
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,936 - We told you he was a crappy counselor
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,985 <i>ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Alert!</i>
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,988 - As debates on American tariffs continue,
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,468 the question on every American's mind tonight,
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:13,427 is President Trump fucking Satan?
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,603 The president's been seen less and less with his wife
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,475 and more often with his new pal,
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,434 making people all around the world say,
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:22,828 "Donald Trump has got to be fucking Satan, for sure."
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,960 - Well, for all of us who are still skeptical
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,962 that President Trump is fucking Satan,
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,704 Fox News has obtained some footage
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,662 of President Trump seeming to be fucking Satan.
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,361 This was at a golf course yesterday
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,450 where the president was heroically golfing.
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,452 You can just make out Satan going behind a bush
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,149 and President Trump right there--
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,282 he's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you think?
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,806 - I think the president is definitely fucking Satan,
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,939 and I love it.
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,679 - Of course, a lot of Americans still argue
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,203 there's no way the president could be fucking Satan.
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,205 So we have a body language expert to show us
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,120 just how it is possible.
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:57,167 - Well, if Mr. President Trump is fucking Satan--
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,994 and I'm not saying if he is or isn't.
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,214 I'm just kinda hoping he is--
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,869 he mostly likely is coming in from the back.
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,349 Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence,
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,482 so we're pretty sure President Trump would have to get on top
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,832 and-- - Ah!
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,485 - Oh, my God, the president is doing things
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:12,616 no other president has done before.
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,357 I love him.
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,272 - If you don't think President Trump is fucking Satan,
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,188 this definitely proves how he could be!
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:21,277 <i>[upbeat music]</i>
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:25,674 <i>[singing in foreign language]</i>
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,199 <i>[angelic tones]</i>
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,202 - Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store.
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,769 Take order, please.
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,249 - Are you the one that has been selling all these Labubus
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,859 to my students?
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,209 - Oh, boy.
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,559 Look, it not my fault, these city prices, okay?
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,256 Labubus very expensive.
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,475 - Those dolls you are selling are cursed!
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,087 - Yeah, no shit they cursed.
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,523 It's called tariff. You pass it along.
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,873 I get the curse, I put the curse on you.
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,353 It's like AIDS.
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,920 BUTTERS: Oh, my God, I got it!
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,226 I got the super rare!
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,966 - Hey, what the hell you talking about?
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,534 - This is the one my girlfriend wants!
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,579 Now I can take it to her birthday party!
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,711 - My child, put that down, it's dangerous!
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,454 - Hey, hey, hold on, that's super rare Labubu.
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,196 That worth, like, $600. You gotta pay more tariff.
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,331 - Oh, my God, will you go away?
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,985 - Listen, both of you!
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,509 There are more important issues at hand.
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,991 My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party.
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255 - Ah, shit, where he go?
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,887 - Satan?
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,847 Why are you so sad?
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:56,895 - I wish to be gone from this place.
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,202 - I do not understand.
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,161 If you do not want to be here,
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:04,033 then why do you stay?
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:08,646 - I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny.
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:13,607 I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:17,917 because of what's in this box.
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,877 - What's in the box?
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,880 - The secret none must know,
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:28,884 and yet, all will soon discover.
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,018 I can feel the tides of change.
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:36,022 The final showdown is upon us.
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:44,334 [upbeat music playing]
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:48,599 [indistinct chatter]
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,471 [blows landing]
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,167 [doorbell rings]
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,648 ♪
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,999 - Happy birthday, Red!
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,435 - Butters.
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,916 Wait. Is that what I think it is?
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,137 - Well, you'll have to wait till you open it to find out--
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,441 Oh, all right then.
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:08,401 ♪
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,969 - [screaming]
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,841 I love you, Butters!
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,017 - Wow!
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,236 - I got it, you guys!
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,933 - Oh, wow! - It's so cool!
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,455 - Oh, it's so cute!
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,849 - I got the super rare,
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,459 all thanks to Butters.
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,374 - So are you gonna do it?
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,810 - Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs and do it!
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,247 - Whoa! We're gonna what?
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597 - Come up to my room, Butters!
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:30,598 - Oh, my God!
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,294 ♪ ♪
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,514 - Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it,
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,644 come on up!
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,124 - Okay, yeah. - Great.
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,040 - Oh! This is all really sudden, Red!
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,214 Wait!
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,522 [engine revving, tires squeal]
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:43,653 <i>[line ringing]</i>
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:46,439 [phone ringing]
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,094 - South Park Elementary. I'm sorry, we're closed.
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,487 - Bev! I need to know which of the students
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,533 has a birthday today.
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:53,621 - Who is this?
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,753 - It's me, Jesus!
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,885 - Who?
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,321 - The school counselor!
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,149 - Oh. I don't know who has a birthday today.
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,673 That was actually always the counselor's job.
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,807 - Can you just look it up in the school records, please?
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,069 - Hang on.
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420 Guess I'm doing your job too now.
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,727 - Okay, okay. Oh, my God.
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,860 I'm so excited to finally do it.
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,907 - Well, yeah, I guess I'm excited to do it, too, Red.
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,734 - Okay, I think we're all ready.
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,867 Here, you take a video of the whole thing.
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,173 - Whoa! Can't we just kiss first?
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,177 - Hey! What's up, guys? This is my TikTok Labubu video.
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,571 I got the super rare, so let's see if it works.
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,007 - Hey, we want to watch.
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,140 - Yeah, come on in, you guys.
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,750 [chicken clucking]
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,666 [all chanting] Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,362 Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,756 - What the heck's going on? all: Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,105 [knife slashing, chicken cries] - Ah!
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,064 - [slurping] - Oh, God!
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,457 - [retching]
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:55,248 [electricity sparking]
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,945 all: Labubu, Labubu.
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,557 Labubu, Labubu.
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,689 - Here he comes!
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,518 [low groaning]
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,173 - Ah!
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,000 - We call the demonic forces!
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,524 Appear before us at my birthday party!
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,917 - This is so cool!
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,529 - [growling]
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,531 - Ta-da!
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,575 all: Ew!
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,404 - Wait, that thing is fucking Satan?
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,363 - No! I'm not fucking Satan!
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:26,366 [growls]
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,584 [screaming]
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,067 <i>ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Super Alert!</i>
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,330 - We may just have another Trump and Satan spotting.
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,724 The two are rumored to be
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,377 in a small mountain town in the Rockies.
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,423 Let's go to our Colorado affiliate.
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:41,816 [metal scraping, wind blowing]
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,121 - Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,340 and swarms of locusts here.
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,777 Um, probably another Labubu party.
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:49,431 You know, whenever there's a Labubu party,
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,825 the president and Satan usually make an appearance.
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,219 - We've got our eye in the sky now.
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,742 Guys, what are you seeing?
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,612 <i>REPORTER: Yeah, you can see little girls</i>
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,267 <i>running and screaming.</i>
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,182 <i>The president just coming out onto the front lawn--</i>
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,836 <i>and yes, there is Satan.</i>
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,881 <i>They're definitely hanging out.</i>
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,579 - Come on, let's go!
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,104 JESUS: Lucifer!
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,410 - So...
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,803 it is you.
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,936 - Just what are you doing, Satan?
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,633 I will know.
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,419 [brakes squealing]
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,422 - Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,814 for some kind of biblical showdown.
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,077 - I have seen your evil at work, Satan.
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,602 I bid you leave this realm at once.
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,822 - You think I don't want to leave?
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,911 I am bound to him!
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,825 - Bound to him how?
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,568 - All right, fine! Here!
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:41,049 You all want to know the truth?
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,271 Yes! We're together!
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,402 We've been together for months,
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:50,841 and I want to leave him, but I can't
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,148 because...
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,802 I'm pregnant.
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,420 - He's pregnant?
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,596 - Whoa.
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,511 - So now you all know.
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,035 I am forced to stay in this situation
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,950 for several more years.
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:19,522 - Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,742 because he's pregnant.
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,700 Uh, let's get our science expert in here
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,050 to see if that's actually possible.
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:29,532 - Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different.
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,360 The term is "butt baby."
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,927 - All right, well, that seems to be it.
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,192 Satan is pregnant with the president's child.
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,977 So Fox News can now confirm
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:43,111 Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this whole time.
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,503 - Yeah! [cheering]
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:45,808 This is a great day for Fox News.
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,115 - Yes, Fox News!
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,726 - For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,337 wasn't fucking Satan,
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,990 in your face!
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,862 We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock.
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,342 Kid, you must be overcome with emotion.
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,692 - I just-- I just honestly didn't think
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,956 the president was fucking Satan, but
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,872 now knowing that he has been this whole time,
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,830 I'm just so happy.
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:11,226 [bell rings]
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:13,967 <i>JESUS: Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson.</i>
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:16,971 If you mess around and you aren't safe,
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,887 it can have really big consequences.
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:24,282 - Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time.
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,196 - And I'm done with Labubus.
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:28,547 - Well, that's good, because as your counselor,
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,680 I'm banning Labubus from school.
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,379 And TikTok. And cell phones.
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:34,597 Now get back to class.
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,251 You both have detention for two weeks.
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,471 - Oh, man!
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:40,733 - Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick.
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,824 - Yeah, but he's better than the last guy.
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,482 <i>- ♪ Labubu</i>
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:51,614 <i>♪ La, labu-labu ♪</i>
00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:57,707 <i>[theme music]</i>
00:21:57,794 --> 00:22:04,671 <i>♪ ♪</i>

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