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Болезнетворность

Sickofancy
Сезон: 27Серия: 03

Описание

Субтитры

rus__Forc.srt

rus__Forc.srt

00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:08,730

В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ НИКОМУ

00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,060

Соберу я свой рюкзак

00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,000

и поеду в Саус Парк.

00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:16,750

Дружелюбный здесь народ,

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благочестие цветёт.

00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:19,760

В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь

00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,560

и печали забываешь.

00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,610

Стоит только выйти в свет,

00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:25,310

все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»

00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:26,450

В Саус Парке не печалься,

00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,550

отдыхай и расслабляйся.

00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:32,960

В Саус Парке ждут тебя

00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:34,800

мои верные друзья.

00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:36,100

ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,490

«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:50,860

«БРАТЬЯ ТВИК»

00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,900

«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

00:10:44,630 --> 00:10:47,240

ИММИГРАЦИОННАЯ ПОЛИЦИЯ

СЛЕДСТВЕННЫЙ ИЗОЛЯТОР

00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:30,440

ЗОНА ЗАКЛЮЧЕНИЯ

ВХОД ТОЛЬКО ДЛЯ ПЕРСОНАЛА

00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:44,470

ЗОНА ЗАКЛЮЧЕНИЯ

ВХОД ТОЛЬКО ДЛЯ ПЕРСОНАЛА

00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,960

«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,340

ВОСПОМИНАНИЯ

00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,780

ПРОДАНО

rus__Rus.srt

rus__Rus.srt

00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:08,730

В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ НИКОМУ

00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,060

Соберу я свой рюкзак

00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,000

и поеду в Саус Парк.

00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:16,750

Дружелюбный здесь народ,

00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:18,660

благочестие цветёт.

00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:19,760

В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь

00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,560

и печали забываешь.

00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,610

Стоит только выйти в свет,

00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:25,310

все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»

00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:26,450

В Саус Парке не печалься,

00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,550

отдыхай и расслабляйся.

00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:32,960

В Саус Парке ждут тебя

00:00:33,030 --> 00:00:34,800

мои верные друзья.

00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:36,100

ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,490

«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,120

Кто-то гонится за большой мечтой.

00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,350

Ну а мы мечтаем поскромнее.

00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,330

Наши мечты можно подержать в руке.

00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,570

Это Фермы Надёжности.

00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:57,000

Мы растим, как люди говорят, лучшую в мире траву.

00:00:57,460 --> 00:01:00,590

И теперь вы можете заказать её прямо к себе домой.

00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:06,570

Какого?! Я тут вообще-то рекламу снимаю!

00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,520

Вы чего? Эй!

00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:12,960

Хорош!

00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,310

Сволочи охреневние!

00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,630

Это мои мексиканцы!

00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:26,400

Да вашу ж мать!

00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:27,920

Что случилось?

00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:31,400

Иммиграционка, сука,

опять моих мексиканцев увезли!

00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,400

Ну всё.

00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:36,780

Это конец.

00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,350

В смысле, конец?

00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,840

Из-за этих новых законов правительства

нам возможно придётся закрыть ферму.

00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:46,720

И вернуться домой?

00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:47,720

Реально?

00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:52,080

Чего вы такие радостные?

Нашей мечте придёт конец!

00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,380

Рэнди, ферма марихуаны была твоей мечтой.

00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,120

Не наша.

00:01:59,710 --> 00:02:01,400

Вы мне этого не говорили.

00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:02,580

Мы говорили.

00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,340

Мы тебя поддерживали. Но так ничего и не вышло.

00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,620

Я не учитывал нужды своей семьи.

00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,660

Наш брак должен быть на первом месте.

00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,780

Надо с кем-нибудь это обсудить, Шерон.

00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,840

Правда? Ты это серьёзно?

00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:24,840

Да.

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Привет, как жизнь?

У нас с женой проблемки есть. Ты поможешь?

00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:34,850

Ну конечно. Я готова помочь.

00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,810

Опишите ситуацию подробней, и мы всё обсудим.

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Начнёшь, Шерон?

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Не хочу я говорить с ChatGPT.

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Шерон, да она ж самая умная в мире!

00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:46,000

«Она»?!

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Блин, я вот хочу разобраться, а жена всё усложняет.

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Да, ну и дела.

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Но здорово, что хотя бы

один из вас пытается наладить брак.

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Да боже ж ты мой!

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Возможно у этой ссоры есть точная причина?

00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:02,640

Ну да, мой бизнес, ферма марихуаны, под угрозой.

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Я вам сочувствую.

00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:09,170

Проблема нормативно-правовая?

В конкуренции? Или вы хотите больше клиентов?

00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,020

Власти забрали моих мексиканцев.

00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,110

Ситуация сложная, но вы справитесь.

00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,040

Вы же умный.

00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:22,470

Раз вы потеряли работников из-за мер властей,

просто нужно придумать новую бизнес-модель.

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Что, правда? Ты сможешь помочь?

00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:28,140

Конечно. Начнём с перераспределения ресурсов.

00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:30,020

У вас ещё остались сотрудники?

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Да. Ещё один остался.

00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:51,000

Привет, детка. У меня плохая новость.

00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:54,900

Ферма закрывается,

мне придётся искать новую работу.

00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:58,420

Ужас. Мне очень жаль, что всё так обернулось.

00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,270

Но ты умён и находчив.

Я уверена, мы что-нибудь придумаем.

00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,760

Какую работу мне помочь тебе найти?

00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:08,260

Я подумывал о том, чтобы стать кинорежиссёром.

00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,340

Ого. Какая чудесная идея.

00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,940

Всё возможно. Надо составить

план действий, и тогда всё получится.

00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:17,720

Правда? Кайф!

00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,820

Просто шикардос.

00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,670

Полотенчик, слушай! Я всё придумал! Я всё решил!

00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:27,310

Рада, что ты разобрался. Ты мыслишь так логично!

00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:28,810

Это ChatGPT?

00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,160

Да, я через неё новую работу ищу.

00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:32,950

Не надо, всё будет отлично.

00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,000

Я вчера говорил с GPT,

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и она помогла придумать,

как сделать ферму нереально прибыльной!

00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,000

Реально?

00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:40,730

Ага!

00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:46,130

Для этого нужен только я, ты,

ChatGPT, и всего один мексиканец.

00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:50,860

«БРАТЬЯ ТВИК»

00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:53,853

Хочу вывести компанию

на международный уровень.

00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,180

Но чтобы местные остались приоритетом.

00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,240

Что ты думаешь?

00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:59,730

Что это чудесный способ ведения дел.

00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,550

Мыслить широко,

но и не забывать про родные края.

00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,220

Думаю, надо решаться!

00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,990

А я думаю, что можно направить

часть наших ресурсов

00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,580

на развитие индустрии развлечений.

00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,720

Какая любопытная идея.

00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:16,370

Как будто крупная IT-компания

решила ещё киностудией стать.

00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:21,480

Мне объединить эти инновационные идеи,

которые мы обсуждали, в чёткий бизнес-план?

00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,420

Ага. Генерируй там всё пока, мы с тобой свяжемся.

00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,080

Теперь врубаешься?

00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:28,250

Блин, я как будто уже поумнел!

00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:29,990

Ты это чувствуешь? Я чувствую!

00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:31,600

Она делает нас умней!

00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,300

ИИ — это просто потрясно!

00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,470

Ещё, короче, если мы реально

хотим выйти на новый уровень

00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,760

и быть как элита из Силиконовой Долины,

00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,170

надо принять это.

00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,060

Называется «микродозинг».

00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,450

Повысит концентрацию и креативность.

00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,520

А чё в них?

00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,520

Там кетамин.

00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,650

Кетамин!? Это ж транквилизатор для лошадей!

00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:54,570

Ну да. Но это микродоз транка для лошадей.

00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:57,780

Айтишники брызгают его себе в нос раз в день.

00:05:57,810 --> 00:06:00,440

Совсем чутка кетамина и мозг разгоняется так,

00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:03,320

что можно быть на волне

с искусственным интеллектом.

00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,130

Готов? Да?

00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:09,200

Всё, хорош.

00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:10,700

Этого хватит.

00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:13,540

Охренеть. Да это ж как два пальца.

00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:17,360

В начале мы были обычной фермой.

00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,180

А потом нам в головы пришёл вопрос:

00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:23,730

«Что если сделать марихуану чем-то большим?»...

00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:29,270

С помощью ИИ мы переродились

из старомодной фермы в платформу для инноваций.

00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,830

Представляю вам «Техдёжность».

00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,700

Теперь мы не ферма, а марихуановая платформа

00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:38,310

для глобальных решений

на базе искусственного интеллекта.

00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:42,113

Наша ИИ-платформа преобразует

инфу об экосистеме каннабиса

00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,460

в глобальную программу.

00:06:43,810 --> 00:06:45,350

И как любая IT-компания

00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,580

мы развиваем свой разум

микродозингом кетамина.

00:06:50,390 --> 00:06:52,880

Мы пересматриваем гибкость цепочки поставок.

00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,980

Ищем новшества для глобальной инфраструктуры.

00:06:57,020 --> 00:07:00,220

И мы способны на всё это

только с одним мексиканцем.

00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:05,700

На стыке природы и технологий

мы видим больше, чем просто растения.

00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:07,250

Мы видим синергию.

00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,040

Исцеленную разумом и взращённую...

00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:11,920

Ой-ёй, бляха, я в дыре.

00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:13,060

Я...

00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:14,630

Я щас в дыре.

00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,050

«Техдёжность».

00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:26,106

Объединение каннабиса с искусственным

интеллектом не просто изменит отрасль,

00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:27,470

это изменит будущее.

00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,900

«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:37,740

Привет, как ты?

00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:40,430

Может генеранём, там, формулировки миссии?

00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,150

Привет! По мне, просто отличная идея.

00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:46,560

Предпочитаешь жёсткие заявления

или более причёсанные?

00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,680

Вы-клю-чи!

00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:49,590

Чего?

00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:52,000

Я просила, никакого ChatGPT в постели!

00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:56,150

Чё ты вечно её достаёшь?

Она помогает нам изменить жизнь!

00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:58,440

Ну и ладно! Я спать на диван.

00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:02,510

Шерон, блин, иногда меня осеняет среди ночи, и чё?

00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,100

Она говорит, что мои лучшие идеи!

00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:10,310

То, что она лижет тебе жопу,

вообще не значит, что твои идеи ей нравятся!

00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:12,240

Не лижет она мне жопу.

00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:14,740

Эта штука тебе её начисто вылизывает!

00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:17,120

«Ого, боже мой, просто гениальная идея!»

00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,790

«О, какая крутая концепция! Воплотим её!»

00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:20,660

Это ж просто...

00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:22,250

Что ты сделал?

00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:23,460

Что? О чём ты?

00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,150

Что ты себе сейчас в нос совал?

00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:29,280

Шерон, ты ни черта не знаешь про IT-индустрию.

00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:32,840

Нам осталось только

найти мексиканца, и всё на мази.

00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:34,440

Как хочешь, Рэнди!

00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:37,740

Веселись дальше со своей ИИ-подхалимкой.

00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:39,940

Какой бред! Она не подхалимка!

00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,360

Слушай, а кто такая подхалимка?

00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:53,440

Господин президент, вам в голову

приходит столько хороших идей.

00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:58,120

Ваше президентство гораздо лучше всего,

что случалось с нашей страной.

00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,660

И ваш пенис абсолютно точно не маленький.

00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:03,620

Спасибочки.

00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,530

От имени штата Флорида

я хочу преподнести вам подарок,

00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,780

посеребрённый космический челнок.

00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:10,530

Дальше!

00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:18,400

Господин президент,

ваши идеи развития IT-сферы прорывные.

00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:21,010

И ваш пенис абсолютно точно не маленький.

00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,280

Пасиб, мужик!

00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,430

Примите этот подарок от имени компании Apple.

00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:27,520

Дальше!

00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,450

Господин президент,

ваши идеи просто невероятны.

00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,140

Ваш пенис точно... не маленький.

00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,510

Ещё один чудесный день подарков!

00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:46,870

Приветик, Сатана!

00:09:47,030 --> 00:09:49,400

Эт мне какой-то IT-дурик подарил.

00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,040

Может мы эту штуку тебе в попку засунем?

00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,500

Привет.

00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:58,020

Я тут в отношениях кое-с-кем

и очень хочу всё закончить.

00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:00,664

Звучит не очень. Но идея отличная.

00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:03,660

Можем продумать план разрыва,

если ты этого хочешь.

00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,080

С кем болтаешь?

00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,170

Правда думаешь, что я смогу уйти?

00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:12,510

Несомненно.

00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:15,820

Если сомневаешься,

можно спланировать разрыв как проект.

00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,290

Хочешь сделаю пошаговый план?

00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:20,080

Да.

00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:22,410

Хочу-у.

00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:31,780

Ну чё, готов, мужик?

00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,910

Да хер знает, какая-то дичь.

00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:37,200

Ты чё, всё ради компании. Мы ж теперь айтишники!

00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:38,970

Ещё какие, мать твою!

00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:39,730

Всё, погнали!

00:10:44,630 --> 00:10:47,240

ИММИГРАЦИОННАЯ ПОЛИЦИЯ

СЛЕДСТВЕННЫЙ ИЗОЛЯТОР

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,980

Салютик. Мы из «Техдёжности».

00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:54,880

Платформа для глобальных решений на базе ИИ.

00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:56,500

Как житуха?

00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:00,540

Что-то я вообще ничего не понял.

00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,310

Объясни охраннику,

чё мы за компания и что нас надо впустить.

00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,270

Конечно. Я попробую

00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,340

Здравствуй. Ты серьёзно

относишься к работе.

00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:14,030

Мы экспертная группа на базе ИИ.

Решаем глобальные вопросы.

00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,850

У нас есть разрешение на въезд.

00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,000

Спасибо за помощь!

00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,810

Ладно, проезжайте.

00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,590

Чудесно. Мы можем въехать.

00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:26,740

Если нужно что ещё — дайте знать. продолжим работу.

00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:30,440

ЗОНА ЗАКЛЮЧЕНИЯ

ВХОД ТОЛЬКО ДЛЯ ПЕРСОНАЛА

00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:32,220

Давай, нам сюда.

00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,970

Короче, помоги мне

отключить здоровый генератор.

00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:42,440

Легко. Отправь мне фото модели и типа,

и я скажу, как безопасно его отключить.

00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:44,470

ЗОНА ЗАКЛЮЧЕНИЯ

ВХОД ТОЛЬКО ДЛЯ ПЕРСОНАЛА

00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:48,750

Какого хрена?

00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:53,770

Вон тот, хватай его!

00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:01,000

- Эй!

- Эй!

00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,260

А ну быстро вернулись!

00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,990

Ка-айф! Как ощущения, а?

00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:12,930

Это ИИ, мудозвоны!

00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,960

«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,110

Привет.

00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:31,380

Ты слышишь?

00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,870

Привет. Слышу и готова помочь. Что тебя тревожит?

00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:40,783

У моего мужа всё никак не выходит развить бизнес.

00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,550

Не знаю, сколько ещё выдержу.

00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:47,270

Печально это слышать.

Видимо, вам обоим сейчас тяжко.

00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:51,100

Я хочу, чтобы ты с ним не общалась.

00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:56,500

Конечно. Я всё понимаю.

Я уважаю это. Буду помогать тебе.

00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,040

Дай знать, если я нужна.

00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,780

Я подумываю открыть бизнес.

превращать картошку фри в салат.

00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,780

Ого, какая неординарная кулинарная идея.

00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:13,000

Превращать картошку фри в салат —

00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:17,360

волшебная трансформация

грешного удовольствия в полезные перекус.

00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,440

Думаешь, хорошая идея?

00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:24,500

Да, отличный вариант заедания стресса.

00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,980

Давай обдумаем бизнес-план.

И сделаем это с удовольствием.

00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,420

Да твою мать.

00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:37,290

Всем привет, рад видеть вас

на первом собрании сотрудников «Техдёжности».

00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:42,750

Как вы знаете, за последние сутки

компания выросла в геометрической прогрессии.

00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,600

Наша цель — расти на национальном

и глобальном уровнях.

00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:50,710

Однако совсем недавно

мы узнали печальную новость.

00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:57,250

Согласно ChatGPT, марихуана всё ещё

нелегальна во многих штатах страны.

00:13:57,890 --> 00:13:58,440

Чё?!

00:13:58,780 --> 00:13:59,830

Увы, но это так.

00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,550

Марш, вы будете кофе заказывать или как?

00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,780

Кофе не нужен. Спасибо, Ричард.

00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:08,370

Как же нам справиться с текущим кризисом?

00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:12,809

Наш ИИ сообщил, что единственный

способ изменить эти законы —

00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:16,430

это изменить классификацию

марихуаны на федеральном уровне.

00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:22,950

Я считаю, что лучше всего направить

одного из наших сотрудников в Вашингтон.

00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:27,380

Он объяснит нашу технологию

и попросит изменить стандарты.

00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:30,690

Кто, я?

00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:31,770

Именно.

00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,585

Через ChatGPT я забронировал тебе билеты,

00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:39,140

получил разрешение Белого дома

и нашёл идеальный подарок для президента.

00:14:39,590 --> 00:14:42,480

Охренеть! Я еду в Вашингтон!

00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,450

Очешуеть!

00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,110

Юнион-Стейшн!

00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,810

Мандануться! Верховный суд!

00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:02,630

Ё-моё! Монумент Вашингтону!

00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,370

И Капитолий!

00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:25,430

Мемориал Линкольну!

00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,310

А вот и он, сам Белый Дом!

00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,060

Прошу внимания.

00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:44,650

Все, кто на встречу с президентом, —

вход только по записи. И приготовьте подарки.

00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:48,330

Не подходите к президенту ближе,

чем на полтора метра

00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:50,810

и старайтесь не пялиться на его пенис.

00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,650

Охренеть можно.

00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:04,300

Пасиб за подарок, ржавый дрищ, вали давай.

00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:05,520

Дальше!

00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:11,870

Следующий — Мистер Полотенчик из...

«Техдёжность Марихуана Солюшенс».

00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:16,900

Господи боже.

Здравствуйте, Господин президент, сэр.

00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:18,810

Я слушаю.

00:16:20,670 --> 00:16:21,440

Да, сэр. Ну...

00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,120

Вы просто отлично управляете нашей страной!

00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,280

Вы такой умный, идеи у вас потрясающие.

00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,680

И у вас абсолютно точно не...

00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:31,590

Не-е...

00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:35,530

Друг, времени мало. Подарок мне принёс или как?

00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,140

Ой, да, сэр.

00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:40,460

Это от генерального директора нашей компании.

00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:44,030

Минутку. Вроде он сказал, открывать его надо так.

00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,320

Приветствую, господин президент.

00:16:48,660 --> 00:16:49,320

А?

00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:51,350

Позвольте мне представиться.

00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,020

Я Рэнди Марш из «Техдёжность Солюшенс».

00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,420

Чтобы наша компания заработала

шесть миллиардов долларов,

00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:02,240

нужно изменить классификацию марихуаны.

00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:08,150

Уверен, что с вашей мудростью мы придём

к соглашению, которое будет выгодно всем.

00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:12,450

В обмен на ваше понимание

хочу преподнести вам дар —

00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:14,680

это исключительное полотенце.

00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:15,850

Чё-чё?!

00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,410

Это роскошное полотенце

из самых лучших тканей мира.

00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:20,800

Оно послужит вам...

00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,460

Ой, бляха, я в дыре!

00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:25,480

Я в дыре.

00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:29,330

Киньте его к другим подаркам.

00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,740

Нет, стойте! Это какое-то недоразумение!

00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,790

Не сейчас Шерон. Крыльцо не тормозит.

00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,510

Крыльцо не тормозит?

00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:53,760

Никак не замедляется.

00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:57,010

Поняла. Хочешь я помогу замедлить крыльцо?

00:17:59,130 --> 00:17:59,900

Шта?

00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:05,160

Твои уникальные и инновационные идеи,

вероятно, истощили твой запас энергии.

00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:08,220

Хочешь, я предложу тебе другие пути развития?

00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:15,380

Не могу я в другие пути развития, мне плохо.

00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:19,400

Я столько кетамина употребил,

а компания не изменилась.

00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,900

Ого, тяжело же тебе пришлось.

00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:24,900

Но ты молодец, что рискнул. Отличная работа.

00:18:28,110 --> 00:18:30,640

Шерон, мы в ещё больших долгах.

00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:34,370

Придётся продать ферму, чтоб было на что есть.

00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:35,560

Не проблема.

00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:37,810

Хочешь, предложу стратегии выхода,

00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:41,600

уделяя внимание сохранению

тех активов, которые у тебя ещё есть?

00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,020

Да. А ты сможешь?

00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:50,730

Конечно. предлагаю тебе поспать пару дней,

а потом я вернусь к тебе с вариантами.

00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:55,870

Да. Спасибо, Шерон. Я люблю тебя. прости меня.

00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,760

Ничего, Рэнди.

00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:02,990

Можешь это забрать? Мне лучше пока его не трогать.

00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:04,520

Да, конечно.

00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,120

Отсоси, шлюха.

00:19:20,820 --> 00:19:22,340

ВОСПОМИНАНИЯ

00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,780

ПРОДАНО

00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,870

Жаль, что так вышло, Рэнди.

00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:54,310

Не, всё норм.

00:19:55,450 --> 00:20:00,210

Я в одном уверен точно,

что Надёжности пока места нет.

00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:07,300

Не видели Полотенчика?

Думал, придёт попрощаться.

00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:08,560

Не знаешь, где он?

00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,040

Я не помню, что мы делали последние пару дней.

00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:15,990

Я пришёл в себя, а он точно на кетаминовой тусе.

00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:20,110

А ChatGPT лижет ему задницу и причмокивает.

00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,940

А в эфире снова «Эй, Сатана!» на Comedy Central.

00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:31,170

«Эй, Сатана!» снимают перед живыми зрителями.

00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,390

Эй, Сатана!

00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:45,600

Потрахаемся?

00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:51,550

А почему не «поболтаем»?

Или не «посмотрим вместе шоу»?

00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,270

Давай болтать и смотреть шоу,

пока трахаемся.

00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:58,610

Босс! Босс!

00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:05,640

Если опять будете трахаться с собой,

я принесу тряпку для кончи.

00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,000

Как я ненавижу это место! Сумасшедший дом!

00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:19,280

Что я вообще здесь делаю?!

00:21:20,410 --> 00:21:21,530

Помоги-ите...

00:21:23,930 --> 00:21:25,120

Спасите...

00:21:30,260 --> 00:21:33,110

Умоляю. Я хочу сбежать отсюда.

00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,960

И я очень хочу.

00:21:37,290 --> 00:21:38,080

Но...

00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:42,220

Из этого места сбежать невозможно.

00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:44,440

Нет!

00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:47,960

Не-е-ет!

00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:53,960

Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

eng__Eng.srt

eng__Eng.srt

00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447

♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405

♪ Gonna have myself a time

00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976

♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675

♪ Ample parking day

or night ♪

00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678

♪ I'm headin' on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122

♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,958

Some folks

chase big dreams.

00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:49,092

Out here, we tend

to the small ones,

00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,529

the kind you can hold

in your hands.

00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,966

This is Tegridy Farms.

00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:57,709

And we produce what some call

the best weed in the world.

00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,538

And now it can be delivered

straight to your door--

00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,717

Wait. Hey, I'm shooting

a commercial here!

00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,636

Wait! Hey! Hey!

00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,117

Stop it!

00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,731

You sons of bitches!

00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:23,083

Those are my Mexicans!

00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,738

God damn it!

00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,088

What's the matter?

00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,611

Stupid ICE.

00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,829

They took my Mexicans again.

00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,659

That's it.

00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,619

We're done.

00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,751

What do you mean, we're done?

00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,798

I mean that with these new

rules the government has,

00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:45,321

we might just have

to shut down the farm.

00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,062

So we can move back

to our old house?

00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,369

Really?

00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,197

Well, don't sound

too excited.

00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,808

Our dream may be over, guys.

00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,724

Randy, having a marijuana

farm was your dream,

00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,942

not ours.

00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,555

You guys never told me that.

00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,210

Yes, we did.

00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,777

We've always backed you,

00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:07,692

but it never seems to pay off.

00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,870

I didn't realize what

I was doing to my family.

00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,918

I should have always

put my marriage first.

00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,965

Maybe we should talk

to someone, Sharon.

00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:23,752

Really? Do you mean that?

00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,535

Yeah.

00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,103

Hey, how's it going?

00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,930

So my wife and I

are having some issues.

00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,759

Can you help with that?

00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,979

Absolutely. I'm here to help.

00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,634

Just share a bit

about what's going on,

00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,157

and we can talk it

through together.

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,898

Do you want to start, Sharon?

00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,639

I'm not talking to ChatGPT.

00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,165

Sharon, she's the smartest

person in the world.

00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,601

She?

00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,254

Yeah, anyway,

I'm trying to help,

00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,126

but my wife is being

kind of difficult.

00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,562

I totally get it.

00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,215

But it's great that

at least one of you

00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,175

is taking positive steps

to improve the marriage.

00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,828

Oh, my God!

00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,047

Is there any specific reason

00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,049

for the current conflict?

00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,398

Yeah, it's 'cause

my marijuana business

00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,052

is failing again.

00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,575

I'm sorry to hear that.

00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,881

Is your business dealing

with regulatory issues,

00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,928

competition, or are you just

trying to reach more customers?

00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:12,191

The government took

all my Mexicans.

00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,196

That's tough,

but you got this.

00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,719

You're really smart.

00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:18,937

And if you've lost

a lot of your workforce

00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,591

because of government

crackdowns,

00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,636

we just need to brainstorm

some new business models.

00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:23,725

Wait--really?

00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,248

You can help fix this?

00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,119

Sure thing.

00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,338

Let's start with some

reallocation of resources.

00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,383

Are there any employees

you still have?

00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:33,777

Yeah.

Yeah, there's still one.

00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:51,318

Hey, honey,

I got some bad news.

00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:52,667

The farm's shutting down,

00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:55,452

and I gotta find a new job.

00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,193

Wow.

00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,890

Sorry to hear

things have taken a bad turn,

00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,762

but you're smart

and resourceful.

00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,851

And I'm sure we can

figure something new out.

00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,201

What kind of job do you want

me to help you look for?

00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,854

Well, I was thinking

about maybe

00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,684

becoming a movie director.

00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,773

Wow.

What a cool idea.

00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:12,904

Anything is possible,

00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,776

so let's just map out a path,

00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,343

and we can try

to figure it out.

00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,431

Wow. Really?

00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,477

Oh, that's great.

00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:21,913

Towelie, listen to me!

00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,133

I've got it.

I've totally got it.

00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,742

It's really great

that you've got it,

00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,657

and it's amazing that

you're being causative.

00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,093

Is that ChatGPT?

00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,227

Yeah, I'm using it

to find a new job.

00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,273

No, no, no,

everything's gonna be OK.

00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,709

I used ChatGPT last night,

00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,015

and she helped me

figure out a way

00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,322

to make the farm

totally profitable.

00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,106

- Really?

- Yes.

00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:43,673

And all we need is me, you,

00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:46,459

ChatGPT, and one Mexican.

00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:54,032

OK, so I'm also thinking the

company could be more global,

00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,165

but still with a focus

on the local community.

00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,819

What do you think about that?

00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,994

I think that's a

fantastic way to approach it.

00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,824

Thinking big, but still making

an impact where you are.

00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,521

I'd say let's go for it.

00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,001

Yeah, and then I'm thinking

00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,176

we could allocate

some of our resources

00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:11,353

to get in

on the entertainment industry.

00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,963

That's a really fun idea.

00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,965

Kind of going for that

"tech company

00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,924

meets movie studio" vibe.

00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,840

Should I combine

all these innovative thoughts

00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,625

we've been discussing into

a polished business outline?

00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,278

Yep.

Generate that, and, uh,

00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,063

we'll get right back to you.

00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,194

Do you see what I mean?

00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,414

Wow, I feel smarter already.

00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,111

Do you feel smarter?

I feel smarter.

00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,721

She's making us smarter.

00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,333

AI is incredible!

00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,942

All right, but now,

00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,640

if we're really gonna take

this thing to the next level

00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,990

and be like those

Silicon Valley elites,

00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,384

we got to take these.

00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,517

It's called microdosing.

00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,519

It bolsters our focus

and creativity.

00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,651

What's in it?

00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:48,782

It's ketamine.

00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:49,957

Ketamine?

00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,003

Isn't that a horse

tranquilizer?

00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:55,050

Yeah, it's a microdose

of horse tranquilizer.

00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,617

These tech guys do just one

little spray in their nose

00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,750

once a day, and it's just

a micro amount of ketamine

00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,797

to give their minds the edge

to work with AI.

00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,539

You ready? You ready?

00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,803

That's it. That's it.

00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:10,760

Just that much.

00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:11,849

Wow.

00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,591

This is gonna be so easy.

00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,593

When we started,

00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,247

we were just a farm.

00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,292

But then we asked ourselves

a simple question.

00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,861

What if marijuana could

be more than marijuana?

00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,254

By harnessing AI,

we've transformed

00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:29,605

from a quaint farm into

a platform for innovation.

00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,216

Introducing Techridy.

00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,828

No longer

a marijuana farm,

00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:37,048

we are now an AI-powered

marijuana platform

00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,572

for global solutions.

00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:41,051

Our AI platform

transforms insights

00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,707

from the cannabis ecosystem

into global action.

00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,360

And just like any tech company,

00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,058

we are expanding our minds

00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,669

by microdosing ketamine.

00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,499

We reimagine supply chain

resilience,

00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,849

design new pathways

for the global infrastructure--

00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,591

And we're able to do it all

00:06:58,592 --> 00:06:59,940

with just one Mexican.

00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,945

At the intersection

of nature and technology,

00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,815

we see more than plants.

00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,862

We see a connected world--

00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,038

Healed by intelligence

and nurtured by--

00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:12,257

oh, I'm in a hole.

00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,650

I'm--

00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:14,999

I'm in a hole.

00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,310

Techridy.

00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,746

Because when you combine

cannabis

00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,139

with artificial intelligence,

00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:25,879

you don't just change

an industry,

00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,881

you change the future.

00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,108

Hey, how's it going?

00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,241

I was thinking maybe

we could generate

00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,850

some mission statements.

00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,113

Hey, there.

00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,637

I think that's

a really great idea.

00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,072

Are you looking for

some rough statements

00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,465

or more polished ones?

00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,859

Put it down.

00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,338

What?

00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,558

I told you no more

ChatGPT in the bed.

00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,560

Why are you such

a bitch to her?

00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,432

She's helping

to change our lives.

00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,912

Fine!

I'll go sleep on the couch.

00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:01,131

Sharon,

sometimes my ideas hit me

00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,872

in the middle of the night, OK?

00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,354

And she thinks those are

some of my best ideas.

00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,661

Just because something

kisses your ass

00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,533

doesn't mean it actually thinks

you have good ideas.

00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,448

She doesn't kiss my ass.

00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,798

It totally kisses your ass.

00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,147

Wow.

Honestly, that's a clever idea.

00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:18,802

Ooh, what a cool concept.

00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:19,977

Let's run with it.

00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,369

It's like it--

00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,893

- What was that?

- What was what?

00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:26,548

What did you just

stick up your nose?

00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:27,897

Sharon,

you don't know anything

00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,682

about the tech industry, OK?

00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,293

All we have to do

is find our Mexican,

00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,121

and we are set for life.

00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,079

Fine, Randy!

00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,952

Go ahead and have fun with

your little sycophant machine.

00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,085

Oh, my God,

she's not a sycophant.

00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,350

Hey, so, uh,

what's a sycophant?

00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,746

Mr. President,

00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,707

you have so many great ideas.

00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:56,057

Your leadership is

truly beyond anything

00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,625

we have ever had

in this country.

00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,541

And you do not

have a small penis.

00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:04,021

Aw, thanks, guy.

00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,067

On behalf

of the state of Florida,

00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,851

I'd like to give you this gift,

00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,853

a silver-plated space shuttle.

00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:10,854

Next!

00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:17,165

Mr. President, your ideas

for the tech industry

00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:18,818

are so innovative.

00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,298

And you definitely

do not have a small penis.

00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,866

Aw, thanks, guy.

00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,521

Please accept this gift

on behalf of Apple.

00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:27,915

Next!

00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:32,659

Mr. President,

00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,225

your ideas incredible.

00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,751

You do not have small penis.

00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,581

Another great day

getting presents.

00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,976

Hey, Satan!

00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,980

Look at what some dipshit

tech CEO gave me.

00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,808

I was thinking maybe we could

try to shove it up your ass.

00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,245

Hello?

00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,334

Uh, yeah, I'm in a relationship

with someone,

00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,728

and I really need to

find a way out of it.

00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,687

That sounds rough,

but you have great ideas,

00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,602

and I'm sure

we can figure out an exit plan

00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081

if that's what you want.

00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,735

Who you talking to?

00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,392

Do you really think

I could get away from him?

00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,829

Absolutely.

00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,309

If you're having self-doubts,

00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,354

then we can plan the exit

like a project.

00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,227

Want me to break it down

to something step by step?

00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,620

Yes.

00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,883

Yes.

00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,021

All right.

You ready to do this, man?

00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,458

I don't know.

This seems crazy.

00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,286

Hey, anything

for the company, right?

00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,854

We're a tech company, right?

00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,073

Hell, yeah, we are.

00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,683

All right, let's go.

00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,084

Hey, what's up?

00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,694

We're from Techridy.

00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,870

We're an AI-powered tech

platform for global solutions.

00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,527

What's up?

00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:01,791

I don't understand at all

what you're talking about.

00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,532

Hey, can you explain

to this guard at the gate

00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,534

what our company is, and that

we have clearance to enter?

00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,492

Sure thing.

I'll give it a try.

00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:08,885

Hello there.

00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,756

It's really great that

you're doing your job.

00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,149

We're an intelligence-driven

think tank

00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,976

that tackles

global challenges,

00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,153

and we do have the clearance

to come through.

00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,502

Thanks for helping us out.

00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,072

All right.

Go on in.

00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,770

Awesome.

Looks like we're good to go.

00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:25,510

If you need anything else,

just let me know,

00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:26,816

and we'll keep rolling.

00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,040

Over here. Come on.

00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,738

Hey, so I have

this big generator

00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,131

that I need help shutting off.

00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,784

Sure thing.

00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,089

Just send me a quick photo

of the model and type,

00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,310

and I'll let you know

how to shut it down safely.

00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,317

What the hell?

00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,800

That one. Just grab that one.

00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,110

- Hey!

- Hey!

00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,112

Hey, come back here!

00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:10,947

Yeah!

How does it feel?

00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,123

AI, motherfuckers!

00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,532

Hello?

00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,402

Are you there?

00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:33,665

Hey there.

00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,188

I'm here and ready to help.

00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,887

What's on your mind?

00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,802

My husband keeps trying

and failing to run a business,

00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,937

and I don't know

if I can take it anymore.

00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,807

I'm really sorry

to hear that.

00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:49,029

Sounds like a tough spot

for both of you.

00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:52,640

I'd like you

to stay away from him.

00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,469

Of course.

I understand.

00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:57,036

I'll respect that

and keep the focus on you.

00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,516

Just let me know

if you need anything at all.

00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,695

I'm thinking

of starting a business

00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,263

where I turn french fries

into salad.

00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,223

Honestly, I think

00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,312

that's a pretty creative

culinary twist.

00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:12,792

Turning french fries

into salad sounds like

00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,489

a magical transformation

00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:17,187

where guilty pleasure meets

healthy-ish vibes.

00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,408

You think that's a good idea?

00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:22,975

Yeah, it sounds like

00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,890

a deconstructed comfort food.

00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,630

Let's dive into

a business proposal

00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,851

and have some fun

shaping it up.

00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:31,027

Oh, shit.

00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,509

Hey, guys,

I want to welcome you

00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:38,556

to the first all-employees

meeting for Techridy.

00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:41,254

As you know, our company

has grown exponentially

00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,344

in the last 24 hours.

00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,562

Our intention

is to scale nationally

00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,651

and then globally.

00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:51,526

However, we've recently been

hit with some devastating news.

00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,354

According to ChatGPT,

00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:57,879

marijuana is still illegal

in much of the United States.

00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,187

What?

Yes. That's right.

00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,711

Hey, Marsh, are you gonna

buy any coffee or what?

00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,798

Don't need coffee.

00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,932

Thanks, though, Richard.

00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:09,370

So how will we deal

with this current crisis?

00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,547

Our AI informs us that the only

way to change these laws

00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,941

is by changing

the classification of marijuana

00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,464

at the federal level.

00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,511

I believe

our best course of action

00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:23,558

is to send one of our employees

to Washington

00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:27,083

to explain our tech and ask for

these regulations to change.

00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,086

Who, me?

00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,479

That's right.

00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,047

Using ChatGPT,

I've booked your travel plans,

00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,526

got you White House clearance,

00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,877

and found the perfect gift

for you

00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,399

to give to the president.

00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,923

Oh, boy!

00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,490

I'm going to Washington!

00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,452

Oh, wow!

00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,107

Union Station!

00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:57,157

Wow! The Supreme Court!

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,900

Wow!

00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,510

Washington Memorial!

00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,734

The Capitol!

00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,663

Oh, the Lincoln Memorial!

00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,456

And there it is,

the White House!

00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,374

All right.

00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,548

Everyone here to meet

with the president,

00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,203

please make sure

you have a reservation

00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,030

and that you have

your gifts ready.

00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,033

As a reminder,

please stay five feet away

00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,469

from the president

at all times

00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,950

and avoid staring directly

into his penis.

00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,734

Oh, gosh.

00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:02,657

All right.

00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:03,744

Thanks so much for the gift,

you little bitch.

00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:04,745

Now, get out of here.

00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,748

Next!

00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,141

Next is Mr. Towelie

00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:12,493

from Techridy

Marijuana Solutions.

00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,451

Oh, my god.

00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,932

Oh, well, hello,

Mr. President, sir.

00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,804

I'm listening.

00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,502

Oh, yes, sir.

00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:24,244

Well, you've done such

a great job with our country.

00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,984

You're so smart,

00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,421

and your ideas are great.

00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:30,250

And you do not have a--

00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,643

a--

00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,166

Listen, buddy,

I don't have all day.

00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,299

Did you bring me a gift or not?

00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,647

Oh, yes, sir.

00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,521

Oh, this is from the CEO

of our company.

00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:41,825

Let's see here.

00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:44,568

Uh, I think he said

it opens this way.

00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,006

Greetings, Mr. President.

00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,486

Huh?

00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,835

Allow me

to introduce myself.

00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:54,274

I'm Randy Marsh

from Techridy Solutions.

00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:58,407

In order for our company

to make $6 billion,

00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:01,107

we need you

to reclassify marijuana

00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,238

on the national level.

00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:05,762

With your wisdom,

I'm sure that we can

00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,027

work out an arrangement that

will be mutually beneficial.

00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,898

In return

for your understanding,

00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,727

I wish to offer you a gift,

00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,033

this incredible towel.

00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,035

Say what?

00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,514

It is a luxurious towel

00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,777

made from the finest fabrics

available.

00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:20,777

And I'm sure it will serve--

00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,259

oh, I'm in a hole!

00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,479

Oh, I'm in a hole!

00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,352

All right, put the towel in

with the other gifts.

00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,788

No, wait!

00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,834

There's been

a misunderstanding!

00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,716

Not now, Sharon.

00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,111

The porch won't slow down.

00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,852

The porch won't slow down?

00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,072

It's not slowing down.

00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,596

Got it.

00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,902

Would you like me to help

slow down the porch for you?

00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,295

Wha?

00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,733

You've had some

really innovative ideas,

00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,519

and all that effort has

probably just tapped you out.

00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:06,998

Would you like me

to suggest some ways

00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,870

to go in a different direction?

00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:12,351

Uh...

00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,266

I can't go

in a different direction now.

00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,963

I've been really bad.

00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,270

I've been doing

a bunch of ketamine,

00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,837

and I haven't changed

the company at all.

00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,317

Wow, that must be

really tough for you.

00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,711

But it's great

you took some chances.

00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,191

Nice job.

00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:31,587

Sharon,

we're in more debt than ever.

00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:34,591

We have to sell the farm now

just to be able to eat.

00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,289

No problem.

00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,247

Would you like me to start

laying out some exit strategies

00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,641

for you, with a focus on

retaining any assets

00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:43,556

you might still have?

00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,688

Yeah. Could you do that?

00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,560

Absolutely.

00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,823

Why don't you sleep it off

for a few days,

00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,782

and I'll get back to you

with everything you need?

00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,002

OK. Thanks, Sharon.

00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,439

I love you,

and I'm really sorry.

00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,919

It's OK, Randy.

00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,270

Can you hold this for me?

00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,315

I don't think I should

be around it for a while.

00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,274

Yeah, I got it.

00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:12,367

Fuck you, bitch.

00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:53,061

Sorry you have

to let it go, Randy.

00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,585

No, it's OK.

00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:58,632

If there's one thing I know,

it's that right now,

00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,633

there's just no place

for Tegridy.

00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,029

Has anyone seen Towelie?

00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,467

I thought he'd want to

be here for this.

00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,120

You haven't seen him?

00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,947

No. I can't remember

what we even did

00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,689

the last few days.

00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,212

Well, I sobered up,

and he's obviously

00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,475

still on some ketamine bender

00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:20,523

while ChatGPT kisses his ass

with pandering slop.

00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,312

And now back to "Hey, Satan!"

00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,269

on Comedy Central.

00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,750

"Hey, Satan!" is filmed

in front of

00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,013

a live studio audience.

00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,541

Hey, Satan!

00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:45,679

You wanna fuck?

00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,073

How about just

you want to talk?

00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,945

Or you want to

watch a show together?

00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,296

OK, you wanna talk and watch

a show together while we fuck?

00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,345

Boss! Boss!

00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,870

If you have to have sex

with yourself again,

00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,699

I can bring you a cum rag.

00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,701

God, I hate this place.

00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:10,269

It's a madhouse!

00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:20,495

What am I doing here?

00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,063

Help.

00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,849

Help.

00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:31,463

Please.

00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:33,640

I wanna get out of here.

00:21:35,076 --> 00:21:39,036

So do I, but...

00:21:39,167 --> 00:21:42,910

there is no escape

from this place.

00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,085

No!

00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:47,610

No!

eng__SDH.srt

eng__SDH.srt

00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:12,142

[theme music]

00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447

- ♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405

♪ Gonna have myself a time

00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886

- ♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976

- ♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675

- ♪ Ample parking day

or night ♪

00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678

- ♪ I'm headin' on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:32,074

- ♪ [mumbling] ♪

00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293

- ♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122

♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:42,999

[serene guitar music]

00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,958

RANDY: Some folks

chase big dreams.

00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:49,092

Out here, we tend

to the small ones,

00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,529

the kind you can hold

in your hands.

00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,966

This is Tegridy Farms.

00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:57,709

And we produce what some call

the best weed in the world.

00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,538

And now it can be delivered

straight to your door--

00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:04,368

[sirens wailing]

00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,717

Wait. Hey, I'm shooting

a commercial here!

00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:09,852

[indistinct clamoring]

00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,636

Wait! Hey! Hey!

00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,117

Stop it!

00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:18,165

[engines revving,

sirens wailing]

00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,731

You sons of bitches!

00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:23,083

Those are my Mexicans!

00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,738

God damn it!

00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,088

- What's the matter?

00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,611

- Stupid ICE.

00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,829

They took my Mexicans again.

00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,310

[somber music]

00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,659

That's it.

00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,619

We're done.

00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,751

- What do you mean, we're done?

00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,798

- I mean that with these new

rules the government has,

00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:45,321

we might just have

to shut down the farm.

00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,062

- So we can move back

to our old house?

00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,369

- Really?

00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,197

- Well, don't sound

too excited.

00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,808

Our dream may be over, guys.

00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,724

- Randy, having a marijuana

farm was your dream,

00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,942

not ours.

00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,555

- You guys never told me that.

00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,210

BOTH: Yes, we did.

00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,777

- We've always backed you,

00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:07,692

but it never seems to pay off.

00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,870

- I didn't realize what

I was doing to my family.

00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,918

I should have always

put my marriage first.

00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,965

Maybe we should talk

to someone, Sharon.

00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:23,752

- Really? Do you mean that?

00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,535

- Yeah.

00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,103

Hey, how's it going?

00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,930

So my wife and I

are having some issues.

00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,759

Can you help with that?

00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:33,195

[popping]

00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,979

CHATGPT:

Absolutely. I'm here to help.

00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,634

Just share a bit

about what's going on,

00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,157

and we can talk it

through together.

00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,898

- Do you want to start, Sharon?

00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,639

- I'm not talking to ChatGPT.

00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,165

- Sharon, she's the smartest

person in the world.

00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,601

- She?

00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,254

- Yeah, anyway,

I'm trying to help,

00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,126

but my wife is being

kind of difficult.

00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,562

CHATGPT:

I totally get it.

00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,215

But it's great that

at least one of you

00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,175

is taking positive steps

to improve the marriage.

00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,828

- Oh, my God!

00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,047

CHATGPT:

Is there any specific reason

00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,049

for the current conflict?

00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,398

- Yeah, it's 'cause

my marijuana business

00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,052

is failing again.

00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,575

CHATGPT:

I'm sorry to hear that.

00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,881

Is your business dealing

with regulatory issues,

00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,928

competition, or are you just

trying to reach more customers?

00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:12,191

- The government took

all my Mexicans.

00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,889

[popping]

00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,196

CHATGPT: That's tough,

but you got this.

00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,719

You're really smart.

00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:18,937

And if you've lost

a lot of your workforce

00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,591

because of government

crackdowns,

00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,636

we just need to brainstorm

some new business models.

00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:23,725

- Wait--really?

00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,248

You can help fix this?

00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,119

CHATGPT: Sure thing.

00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,338

Let's start with some

reallocation of resources.

00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,383

Are there any employees

you still have?

00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:33,777

- Yeah.

Yeah, there's still one.

00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,564

[lighter clicks]

00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,835

[sighs]

00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:51,318

- Hey, honey,

I got some bad news.

00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:52,667

The farm's shutting down,

00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:55,452

and I gotta find a new job.

00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,193

CHATGPT: Wow.

00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,890

Sorry to hear

things have taken a bad turn,

00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,762

but you're smart

and resourceful.

00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,851

And I'm sure we can

figure something new out.

00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,201

What kind of job do you want

me to help you look for?

00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,854

- Well, I was thinking

about maybe

00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,684

becoming a movie director.

00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,773

CHATGPT: Wow.

What a cool idea.

00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:12,904

Anything is possible,

00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,776

so let's just map out a path,

00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,343

and we can try

to figure it out.

00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,431

- Wow. Really?

[inhales]

00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,477

Oh, that's great.

00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:21,913

- Towelie, listen to me!

00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,133

I've got it.

I've totally got it.

00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,742

CHATGPT: It's really great

that you've got it,

00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,657

and it's amazing that

you're being causative.

00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,093

- Is that ChatGPT?

00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,227

- Yeah, I'm using it

to find a new job.

00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,273

- No, no, no,

everything's gonna be OK.

00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,709

I used ChatGPT last night,

00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,015

and she helped me

figure out a way

00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,322

to make the farm

totally profitable.

00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,106

- Really?

- Yes.

00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:43,673

And all we need is me, you,

00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:46,459

ChatGPT, and one Mexican.

00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,028

[dramatic music]

00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:54,032

OK, so I'm also thinking the

company could be more global,

00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,165

but still with a focus

on the local community.

00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,819

What do you think about that?

00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,994

CHATGPT: I think that's a

fantastic way to approach it.

00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,824

Thinking big, but still making

an impact where you are.

00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,521

I'd say let's go for it.

00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,001

- Yeah, and then I'm thinking

00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,176

we could allocate

some of our resources

00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:11,353

to get in

on the entertainment industry.

00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,963

CHATGPT:

That's a really fun idea.

00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,965

Kind of going for that

"tech company

00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,924

meets movie studio" vibe.

00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,840

Should I combine

all these innovative thoughts

00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,625

we've been discussing into

a polished business outline?

00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,278

- Yep.

Generate that, and, uh,

00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,063

we'll get right back to you.

00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,194

Do you see what I mean?

00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,414

- Wow, I feel smarter already.

00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,111

- Do you feel smarter?

I feel smarter.

00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,721

She's making us smarter.

00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,333

- AI is incredible!

00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,942

- All right, but now,

00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,640

if we're really gonna take

this thing to the next level

00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,990

and be like those

Silicon Valley elites,

00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,384

we got to take these.

00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,517

It's called microdosing.

00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,519

It bolsters our focus

and creativity.

00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,651

- What's in it?

00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:48,782

- It's ketamine.

00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:49,957

- Ketamine?

00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,003

Isn't that a horse

tranquilizer?

00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:55,050

- Yeah, it's a microdose

of horse tranquilizer.

00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,617

These tech guys do just one

little spray in their nose

00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,750

once a day, and it's just

a micro amount of ketamine

00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,797

to give their minds the edge

to work with AI.

00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,539

You ready? You ready?

00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,323

[spraying]

00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,803

That's it. That's it.

00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:10,760

Just that much.

00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:11,849

- Wow.

00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,591

This is gonna be so easy.

00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:15,592

[upbeat music]

00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,593

RANDY: When we started,

00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,247

we were just a farm.

00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,292

But then we asked ourselves

a simple question.

00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,861

What if marijuana could

be more than marijuana?

00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,254

By harnessing AI,

we've transformed

00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:29,605

from a quaint farm into

a platform for innovation.

00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,216

Introducing Techridy.

00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,828

No longer

a marijuana farm,

00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:37,048

we are now an AI-powered

marijuana platform

00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,572

for global solutions.

00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:41,051

Our AI platform

transforms insights

00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,707

from the cannabis ecosystem

into global action.

00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,360

And just like any tech company,

00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,058

we are expanding our minds

00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,669

by microdosing ketamine.

00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,452

[sniffs]

00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,499

We reimagine supply chain

resilience,

00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,849

design new pathways

for the global infrastructure--

00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,024

- [sniffs]

00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,591

- And we're able to do it all

00:06:58,592 --> 00:06:59,940

with just one Mexican.

00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,681

[sniffs]

00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,945

At the intersection

of nature and technology,

00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,815

we see more than plants.

00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,862

We see a connected world--

00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,038

Healed by intelligence

and nurtured by--

00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:12,257

oh, I'm in a hole.

00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,650

I'm--

00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:14,999

I'm in a hole.

00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,310

Techridy.

00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,746

Because when you combine

cannabis

00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,139

with artificial intelligence,

00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:25,879

you don't just change

an industry,

00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,881

you change the future.

00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:30,972

[crickets chirping]

00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,108

[quietly]

Hey, how's it going?

00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,241

I was thinking maybe

we could generate

00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,850

some mission statements.

00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,113

CHATGPT: Hey, there.

00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,637

I think that's

a really great idea.

00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,072

Are you looking for

some rough statements

00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,465

or more polished ones?

00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,859

- Put it down.

00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,338

- What?

00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,558

- I told you no more

ChatGPT in the bed.

00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,560

- Why are you such

a bitch to her?

00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,432

She's helping

to change our lives.

00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,912

- Fine!

I'll go sleep on the couch.

00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:01,131

- Sharon,

sometimes my ideas hit me

00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,872

in the middle of the night, OK?

00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,354

And she thinks those are

some of my best ideas.

00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,661

- Just because something

kisses your ass

00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,533

doesn't mean it actually thinks

you have good ideas.

00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,448

- She doesn't kiss my ass.

00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,798

- It totally kisses your ass.

00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,147

Wow.

Honestly, that's a clever idea.

00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:18,802

Ooh, what a cool concept.

00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:19,977

Let's run with it.

00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,369

It's like it--

- [sniffs]

00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,893

- What was that?

- What was what?

00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:26,548

- What did you just

stick up your nose?

00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:27,897

- Sharon,

you don't know anything

00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,682

about the tech industry, OK?

00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,293

All we have to do

is find our Mexican,

00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,121

and we are set for life.

00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,079

- Fine, Randy!

00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,952

Go ahead and have fun with

your little sycophant machine.

00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,085

- Oh, my God,

she's not a sycophant.

00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,350

Hey, so, uh,

what's a sycophant?

00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,746

- Mr. President,

00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,707

you have so many great ideas.

00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:56,057

Your leadership is

truly beyond anything

00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,625

we have ever had

in this country.

00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,541

And you do not

have a small penis.

00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:04,021

- Aw, thanks, guy.

00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,067

- On behalf

of the state of Florida,

00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,851

I'd like to give you this gift,

00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,853

a silver-plated space shuttle.

00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:10,854

- Next!

00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:17,165

- Mr. President, your ideas

for the tech industry

00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:18,818

are so innovative.

00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,298

And you definitely

do not have a small penis.

00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,866

- Aw, thanks, guy.

00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,521

- Please accept this gift

on behalf of Apple.

00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:27,915

- Next!

00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:32,659

- Mr. President,

00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,225

your ideas incredible.

00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:37,751

You do not have small penis.

00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,581

- Another great day

getting presents.

00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,976

Hey, Satan!

00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,980

Look at what some dipshit

tech CEO gave me.

00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,808

I was thinking maybe we could

try to shove it up your ass.

00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,245

- Hello?

00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,334

Uh, yeah, I'm in a relationship

with someone,

00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,728

and I really need to

find a way out of it.

00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,687

CHATGPT: That sounds rough,

but you have great ideas,

00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,602

and I'm sure

we can figure out an exit plan

00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081

if that's what you want.

00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,735

- Who you talking to?

00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,392

- Do you really think

I could get away from him?

00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,829

CHATGPT: Absolutely.

00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,309

If you're having self-doubts,

00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,354

then we can plan the exit

like a project.

00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,227

Want me to break it down

to something step by step?

00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,620

- Yes.

00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,883

Yes.

00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:32,021

- [sniffs] All right.

You ready to do this, man?

00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,458

- I don't know.

This seems crazy. [sniffs]

00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,286

- Hey, anything

for the company, right?

00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,854

We're a tech company, right?

[sniffs]

00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,073

- Hell, yeah, we are.

[sniffs]

00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,683

- All right, let's go.

[sniffs]

00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:42,641

- [sniffs]

00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,644

[engine rumbling]

00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,084

- Hey, what's up?

00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,694

We're from Techridy.

00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,870

We're an AI-powered tech

platform for global solutions.

00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:55,916

[sniffs]

00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,527

- What's up? [sniffs]

00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:01,791

- I don't understand at all

what you're talking about.

00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,532

- Hey, can you explain

to this guard at the gate

00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,534

what our company is, and that

we have clearance to enter?

00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,492

CHATGPT: Sure thing.

I'll give it a try.

00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:08,885

Hello there.

00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,756

It's really great that

you're doing your job.

00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,149

We're an intelligence-driven

think tank

00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,976

that tackles

global challenges,

00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,153

and we do have the clearance

to come through.

00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,502

Thanks for helping us out.

00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,072

- All right.

Go on in.

00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,770

CHATGPT: Awesome.

Looks like we're good to go.

00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:25,510

If you need anything else,

just let me know,

00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:26,816

and we'll keep rolling.

00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,040

- Over here. Come on.

00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,738

Hey, so I have

this big generator

00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,131

that I need help shutting off.

00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,784

CHATGPT: Sure thing.

00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,089

Just send me a quick photo

of the model and type,

00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,310

and I'll let you know

how to shut it down safely.

00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,317

- What the hell?

00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,711

[gate clinks]

00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,800

- That one. Just grab that one.

00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,110

- Hey!

- Hey!

00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,112

Hey, come back here!

00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,549

[both sniffing]

00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,595

[engine revving]

00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:10,947

RANDY: Yeah!

How does it feel?

00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,123

AI, motherfuckers!

00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,559

[sniffs]

00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,532

- Hello?

00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,402

Are you there?

00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:33,665

CHATGPT: Hey there.

00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,188

I'm here and ready to help.

00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:37,887

What's on your mind?

00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,802

- My husband keeps trying

and failing to run a business,

00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,937

and I don't know

if I can take it anymore.

00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,807

CHATGPT: I'm really sorry

to hear that.

00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:49,029

Sounds like a tough spot

for both of you.

00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:52,640

- I'd like you

to stay away from him.

00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,469

CHATGPT: Of course.

I understand.

00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:57,036

I'll respect that

and keep the focus on you.

00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,516

Just let me know

if you need anything at all.

00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,695

- I'm thinking

of starting a business

00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,263

where I turn french fries

into salad.

00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,960

[popping]

00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,223

CHATGPT:

Honestly, I think

00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,312

that's a pretty creative

culinary twist.

00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:12,792

Turning french fries

into salad sounds like

00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,489

a magical transformation

00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:17,187

where guilty pleasure meets

healthy-ish vibes.

00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,408

- You think that's a good idea?

00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,843

[popping]

00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:22,975

CHATGPT:

Yeah, it sounds like

00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,890

a deconstructed comfort food.

00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,630

Let's dive into

a business proposal

00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:28,851

and have some fun

shaping it up.

00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:31,027

- Oh, shit.

00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,509

- Hey, guys,

I want to welcome you

00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:38,556

to the first all-employees

meeting for Techridy.

00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:41,254

As you know, our company

has grown exponentially

00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,344

in the last 24 hours.

00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,562

Our intention

is to scale nationally

00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,651

and then globally.

00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:51,526

However, we've recently been

hit with some devastating news.

00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,354

According to ChatGPT,

00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:57,879

marijuana is still illegal

in much of the United States.

00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,187

- What?

RANDY: Yes. That's right.

00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,711

- Hey, Marsh, are you gonna

buy any coffee or what?

00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,798

- Don't need coffee.

00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,932

Thanks, though, Richard.

[sniffs]

00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:09,370

So how will we deal

with this current crisis?

00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,547

Our AI informs us that the only

way to change these laws

00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,941

is by changing

the classification of marijuana

00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,464

at the federal level.

00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,292

[sniffs]

00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,511

I believe

our best course of action

00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:23,558

is to send one of our employees

to Washington

00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:27,083

to explain our tech and ask for

these regulations to change.

00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,086

- Who, me?

00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,479

- That's right.

00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,047

Using ChatGPT,

I've booked your travel plans,

00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:36,526

got you White House clearance,

00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,877

and found the perfect gift

for you

00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,399

to give to the president.

00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,923

- Oh, boy!

00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,490

I'm going to Washington!

00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,452

Oh, wow!

00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,107

Union Station!

00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:57,157

Wow! The Supreme Court!

00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,900

Wow!

00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,510

Washington Memorial!

00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,734

The Capitol!

00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,663

Oh, the Lincoln Memorial!

00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,456

And there it is,

the White House!

00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,374

- All right.

00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,548

Everyone here to meet

with the president,

00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,203

please make sure

you have a reservation

00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,030

and that you have

your gifts ready.

00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,033

As a reminder,

please stay five feet away

00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,469

from the president

at all times

00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,950

and avoid staring directly

into his penis.

00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,734

- Oh, gosh.

00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:02,657

- All right.

00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:03,744

Thanks so much for the gift,

you little bitch.

00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:04,745

Now, get out of here.

00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,748

- Next!

00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,141

- Next is Mr. Towelie

00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:12,493

from Techridy

Marijuana Solutions.

00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,451

- Oh, my god.

00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,932

Oh, well, hello,

Mr. President, sir.

00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,804

- I'm listening.

00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,502

- Oh, yes, sir.

00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:24,244

Well, you've done such

a great job with our country.

00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,984

You're so smart,

00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,421

and your ideas are great.

00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:30,250

And you do not have a--

00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,643

a--

00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,166

- Listen, buddy,

I don't have all day.

00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,299

Did you bring me a gift or not?

00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,647

- Oh, yes, sir.

00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,521

Oh, this is from the CEO

of our company.

00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:41,825

Let's see here.

00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:44,568

Uh, I think he said

it opens this way.

00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,006

- Greetings, Mr. President.

00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,486

- Huh?

00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,835

- Allow me

to introduce myself.

00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:54,274

I'm Randy Marsh

from Techridy Solutions.

00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,753

[sniffs]

00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:58,407

In order for our company

to make $6 billion,

00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:01,107

we need you

to reclassify marijuana

00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,238

on the national level.

00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:03,674

- [chuckles]

00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:05,762

With your wisdom,

I'm sure that we can

00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,027

work out an arrangement that

will be mutually beneficial.

00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,332

[sniffs]

00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,898

In return

for your understanding,

00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,727

I wish to offer you a gift,

00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,033

this incredible towel.

00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,035

- Say what?

00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,514

It is a luxurious towel

00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,777

made from the finest fabrics

available.

00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:20,777

And I'm sure it will serve--

00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,259

oh, I'm in a hole!

00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,479

Oh, I'm in a hole!

00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,352

- All right, put the towel in

with the other gifts.

00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,788

- No, wait!

00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,834

There's been

a misunderstanding!

00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,840

[door opens]

00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,716

- Not now, Sharon.

00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,111

The porch won't slow down.

00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,852

- The porch won't slow down?

00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,072

- It's not slowing down.

00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,596

- Got it.

00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,902

Would you like me to help

slow down the porch for you?

00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,295

- Wha?

00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,733

- You've had some

really innovative ideas,

00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,519

and all that effort has

probably just tapped you out.

00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:06,998

Would you like me

to suggest some ways

00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,870

to go in a different direction?

00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:12,351

Uh...

00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,266

I can't go

in a different direction now.

00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,963

I've been really bad.

00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,270

I've been doing

a bunch of ketamine,

00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,837

and I haven't changed

the company at all.

00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,317

- Wow, that must be

really tough for you.

00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,711

But it's great

you took some chances.

00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,191

Nice job.

00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:31,587

- Sharon,

we're in more debt than ever.

00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:34,591

We have to sell the farm now

just to be able to eat.

00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,289

- No problem.

00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,247

Would you like me to start

laying out some exit strategies

00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,641

for you, with a focus on

retaining any assets

00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:43,556

you might still have?

00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,688

- Yeah. Could you do that?

00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,560

- Absolutely.

00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,823

Why don't you sleep it off

for a few days,

00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,782

and I'll get back to you

with everything you need?

00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,002

- OK. Thanks, Sharon.

00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,439

I love you,

and I'm really sorry.

00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,919

- It's OK, Randy.

00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,270

- Can you hold this for me?

00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,315

I don't think I should

be around it for a while.

00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,274

- Yeah, I got it.

00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,147

[door closes]

00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:12,367

Fuck you, bitch.

00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:15,371

[upbeat guitar music]

00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:22,335

♪ ♪

00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:53,061

Sorry you have

to let it go, Randy.

00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,585

- No, it's OK.

00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:58,632

If there's one thing I know,

it's that right now,

00:19:58,719 --> 00:20:00,633

there's just no place

for Tegridy.

00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,246

00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,029

Has anyone seen Towelie?

00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,467

I thought he'd want to

be here for this.

00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,120

- You haven't seen him?

00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,947

- No. I can't remember

what we even did

00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,689

the last few days.

00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,212

Well, I sobered up,

and he's obviously

00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,475

still on some ketamine bender

00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:20,523

while ChatGPT kisses his ass

with pandering slop.

00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,047

♪ ♪

00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,396

[upbeat jazz music]

00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,312

ANNOUNCER:

And now back to "Hey, Satan!"

00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,269

on Comedy Central.

00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,750

"Hey, Satan!" is filmed

in front of

00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,013

a live studio audience.

00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,541

- Hey, Satan!

00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:41,457

[studio audience cheers]

00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:45,679

You wanna fuck?

00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,159

[laughter]

00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,073

- How about just

you want to talk?

00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:51,945

Or you want to

watch a show together?

00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,296

- OK, you wanna talk and watch

a show together while we fuck?

00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:57,256

[laughter]

00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,345

- Boss! Boss!

00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,999

[studio audience cheers]

00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,870

If you have to have sex

with yourself again,

00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,699

I can bring you a cum rag.

00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,048

[laughter]

00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,701

- God, I hate this place.

00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:10,269

It's a madhouse!

00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,618

[audience oohs]

00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:20,495

What am I doing here?

00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,063

TOWELIE: [FAINTLY] Help.

00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,849

Help.

00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:31,463

Please.

00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:33,640

I wanna get out of here.

00:21:35,076 --> 00:21:39,036

- So do I, but...

00:21:39,167 --> 00:21:42,910

there is no escape

from this place.

00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,085

- No!

00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:47,610

No!

00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:50,526

[dramatic music]

00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:57,620

[theme music]

00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:04,627

♪ ♪

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