Нагорная проповедь

Следующая серия S27 E02 Есть орешек

Нагорная проповедь

Sermon on the 'Mount»

Сезон: 27Серия: 01

Описание

Субтитры

00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,990 ПЕРСОНАЖИ И СОБЫТИЯ ВЫМЫШЛЕНЫ, ХОТЬ И НЕ ВСЕ ГОЛОСА ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ СЫМИТИРОВАНЫ... ПЛОХО
00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:08,730 В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ, НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,800 <i>Соберу я свой рюкзак</i>
00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:15,280 <i>и поеду в Саус Парк.</i>
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,820 <i>Дружелюбный здесь народ,</i>
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:18,550 <i>благочестие цветёт.</i>
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:19,720 <i>В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь</i>
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:21,620 <i>и печали забываешь.</i>
00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:23,490 <i>Стоит только выйти в свет,</i>
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,290 <i>все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»</i>
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:26,460 <i>В Саус Парке не печалься,</i>
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:28,410 <i>отдыхай и расслабляйся.</i>
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:32,970 <i>В Саус Парке ждут тебя</i>
00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:34,940 <i>мои верные друзья.</i>
00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:41,150 ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:53,050 «ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,180 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:47,190 ВОУКИЗМ МЁРТВ
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,930 ТОЛЬКО МУЖЧИНЫ
00:10:03,030 --> 00:10:04,510 ТОЛЬКО ЖЕНЩИНЫ
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,570 КАБИНЕТ ДИРЕКТОРА
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,620 <i>Верим в Христа!</i>
00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,550 <i>Мы возвращаем Христа!</i>
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:03,030 <i>Христос — это бабки.</i>
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,560 <i>Возвращаем Христа!</i>
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,540 <i>Христос — это бабки.</i>
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:16,640 <i>Христос — это бабки.</i>
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:38,620 ГОРОД В КОЛОРАДО ДАЁТ ОТПОР
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:31,320 СОЦИАЛЬНЫЙ РОЛИК ЗА ТРАМПА ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:35,650 ОН НАС ПОНИМАЕТ (ДОСТАНЕТ). ВСЕХ НАС.
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:39,230 ОНВСЕХТРАМПАНУЛ.COM

00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,990 ПЕРСОНАЖИ И СОБЫТИЯ ВЫМЫШЛЕНЫ, ХОТЬ И НЕ ВСЕ ГОЛОСА ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ СЫМИТИРОВАНЫ... ПЛОХО
00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:08,730 В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ, НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,800 <i>Соберу я свой рюкзак</i>
00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:15,280 <i>и поеду в Саус Парк.</i>
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,820 <i>Дружелюбный здесь народ,</i>
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:18,550 <i>благочестие цветёт.</i>
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:19,720 <i>В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь</i>
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:21,620 <i>и печали забываешь.</i>
00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:23,490 <i>Стоит только выйти в свет,</i>
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,290 <i>все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»</i>
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:26,460 <i>В Саус Парке не печалься,</i>
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:28,410 <i>отдыхай и расслабляйся.</i>
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:32,970 <i>В Саус Парке ждут тебя</i>
00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:34,940 <i>мои верные друзья.</i>
00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:41,150 ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,050 Алекса, 90.1.
00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:54,000 Поняла. Включаю радио 90.1 FM.
00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:03,430 Чё за хрень.
00:01:06,610 --> 00:01:09,490 Мам, с моим любимым шоу что-то не то. Тупо тишина.
00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:10,990 С любимым шоу?
00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:15,430 NPR, Национальное Радио, там либералы ноют. Что-то случилось.
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:18,390 Поросёночек, а президент отменил NPR.
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:23,170 В смысле отменил NPR? Эт ж охренеть как угарно.
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,150 Не знаю, что сказать, родной.
00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:26,670 Охереть.
00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:30,440 Пацаны! Вы не поверите, блин.
00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:32,810 Наш президент отменил NPR!
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:35,450 Что это такое?
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:36,700 Чё за NPR?!
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:39,460 Угарнейшее шоу, где лезбухи и евреи жалуются!
00:01:39,590 --> 00:01:41,490 Сраный президент снял его с эфира!
00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:43,300 Кем президент ваще ся возомнил?!
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,240 Правительство не может шоу отменять!
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:47,020 Чё они дальше отменят?
00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:49,180 Шикарное было шоу!
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:53,120 Рэперы-геи из Мексики ныли о том, что баб в Пакистане насмерть забили камнями.
00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,580 За чё, угадаете? Потому что их изнасиловали!
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,360 Отборный угар. Чё его убрали, а?
00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:00,080 Серьёзно, страна скатывается к херам.
00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:03,020 Всё меняется, херак, и прогрессивное запрещают.
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:06,330 Типа издеваться над евреями теперь не проблема, да, Кайл?
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,280 Видал? Чё это с Кайлом?
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,510 Все уже слились.
00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:16,980 Внимание, ученики. Сегодня утром будет обязательное собрание.
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,130 Всем явиться в спортзал, ясненько?
00:02:20,980 --> 00:02:23,370 Точняк, ПК Директор ещё не сдался.
00:02:26,940 --> 00:02:28,250 Слушайте меня все.
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,400 Все замолчали!
00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,670 В этой стране творится полная дичь,
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,050 но я не позволю этому исказить принципы нашей школы!
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:38,510 Ну понеслась!
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:43,280 Меня уже достало то, что людей высмеивают за то, что одни сочувствуют другим.
00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:44,900 Настоящий беспредел!
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:49,430 Только одно защитит нашу мораль в это страшное время!
00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:53,230 И это Господь наш и Спаситель, Иисус Христос.
00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:55,720 Чё?
00:02:56,370 --> 00:03:00,810 Мы променяли правду на утехи и поклоняемся идолам эгоизма и греха.
00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:02,430 Мы были народом Божьим,
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,310 но плюнули ему в лицо и удивляемся, почему всё рушится.
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:08,360 Есть только один путь — раскаяться, поклониться Христу,
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:11,070 или нас сотрут, как прочую ересь.
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,260 Чё за хренотень, чувак?
00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:18,190 Чтобы всё исправить, я стану Праведным Крещёным Директором.
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,150 Зовите меня ПК Директор.
00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:25,630 А теперь, давайте поаплодируем и встретим Господа нашего, Иисуса.
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,440 Здравствуйте, дети мои. Я есть свет, и я есть путь.
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:36,070 Народ, чё за бред?
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,840 Как же я рад быть здесь,
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:43,770 ибо где двое или трое собрались во имя Моё, там среди них и Я.
00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:46,380 Точняк! Давай, жги Иисус!
00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:47,180 Да, сука!
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:53,050 «ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»
00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:59,320 Как ваш день? Что-то интересное в школе было?
00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:03,140 Да нет. Иисус явился.
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:05,740 Иисус?
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:07,280 Ага.
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:10,540 Что он делал в вашей школе?
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:11,830 Не знаю.
00:04:14,310 --> 00:04:16,640 Вроде как Иисусу в школах быть нельзя.
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:18,340 Да, но он там был.
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,570 Надо мне это кое с кем обсудить.
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,580 Привет, как ты? А Иисусу можно в школы заявляться?
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,850 Госшколы должны поддерживать разделение церкви и государства,
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:38,750 и не могут пропагандировать какую-либо одну религию.
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:42,270 Вот-вот. Правительство не может навязывать религию моему сыну.
00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:48,560 В госшколах могут нейтрально излагать религии, не навязывая ни одну из них.
00:04:49,030 --> 00:04:51,280 Это был урок «Мировые Религии»?
00:04:51,810 --> 00:04:54,930 Нет, сын сказал, что Иисус буквально явился в школу.
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:04,040 Верно делаете, что переживаете. Хорошо, что вы заботитесь об образовании сына.
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:05,180 Пасиб.
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:07,980 Здорово, что есть с кем это обсудить.
00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:12,480 Конечно. Дайте знать, если понадобится помощь. Я всегда рядом.
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,140 Ты обалденная. Спасибо.
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,350 Споки, милая.
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:20,580 Доброй ночи, завтра у вас будет отличный день.
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,180 НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА
00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:34,280 Баттерс!
00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,000 Баттерс, иди сюда.
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:38,280 А я говорил! Полная дичь!
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,950 Если ПК Директор изменился, нам конец!
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,300 Я знаю, что происходит.
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:46,480 Походу, воукизм мёртв.
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,120 Воукизм мёртв?
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:54,290 Ему конец, Баттерс! Можно говорить «отсталый», и всем срать.
00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:57,950 Все ненавидят евреев. И геев можно как хочешь обзывать!
00:05:58,110 --> 00:05:59,370 Ой, это не хорошо.
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,760 Это полная жопа!
00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:02,360 Я не понимаю,
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,130 а мне-то что делать?
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:12,510 Эрик?
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,780 Усиливаются протесты против того,
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:24,680 что правительство навязывает христианство в школах.
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:28,970 Президент заявил сегодня, что дух Иисуса важен для страны,
00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:31,630 и он засудит любого, кто не согласен.
00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,130 Чё за хрень творит президент?
00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:37,410 Сам по-христиански не живёт, а нашим детям навязывает?
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:41,810 Я говорил, что будет плохо, но многие из вас за него голосовали!
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:45,510 Я голосовал, да, а он только арестовывает и в суд подаёт.
00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:48,160 Я голосовал, шобы он воуканутое всё убрал!
00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:51,730 А этот отсталый педик тока карманы себе набивает!
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:52,980 Ага! Точно!
00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:56,100 Будем просто смотреть, как он попирает наши свободы?!
00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:57,190 Не! Нихера! Ни за что!
00:06:57,210 --> 00:06:59,200 Тогда за дело! Покажем ублюдку!
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,640 Да!
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:03,080 Да! Погнали!
00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:04,560 За ним! Вперёд!
00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:10,150 Ему конец! Ща мы ему дадим!
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:13,660 Выходи, говна кусок! Мы тебя развыберем!
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:22,590 Простите, нельзя потише?
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:27,660 Ты чё за херню творишь, Гаррисон?
00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:30,920 Я ничего не делаю.
00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:37,730 Типа ты не грабишь страну и не запугиваешь всех, как ничтожный диктатор с Ближнего Востока?
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,470 Нет, я сижу тут и смотрю «Белый Лотос» с Риком.
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,910 Но тебя переизбрали.
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,560 Он не был в Вашингтоне уже несколько лет.
00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:51,110 Он всё оставил. И хорошо себя ведёт.
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:58,370 Но, если он тут, шо тада за отсталый педик сидит в Белом Доме?
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:05,230 Да.
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:07,260 Идёт.
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:11,640 Господин президент, к вам прибыл премьер-министр Канады.
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:15,440 Господин президент, к чему эти тарифы для Канады?
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,040 Вы что, диктатор с Ближнего Востока?
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:22,130 Диктатор с Ближнего Востока?
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:26,110 Да расслабься ты, мужик. Я обычный американец. Угомонись.
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,940 Народ Канады не потерпит такого обесценивания.
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:32,360 Да хорош ныть. Хотите, чтобы я вас бомбил, как Ирак?
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,550 Я думал, вы бомбили Иран.
00:08:34,710 --> 00:08:37,240 Иран, Ирак, какая в жопу разница. Расслабься.
00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:43,380 Эй! Это чё ещё за хренатень, дружок?
00:08:43,530 --> 00:08:45,600 Картина, которую вы заказали, сэр.
00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:47,490 А чё хер мелкий такой?
00:08:47,950 --> 00:08:49,980 Он такого же размера на фото.
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,730 Выкиньте этого мужика! Я тя засужу!
00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:54,280 Обоих нахер засужу!
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,900 Ни одной шутке спуску не дам!
00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:06,370 Приветик Сатана.
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:08,610 Я сейчас не хочу.
00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,720 Чё ты? Давай расслабься.
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,990 Сатана, я же весь день работал!
00:09:13,070 --> 00:09:16,890 Не работал ты. Свои тупые мемы хреначил и хер пинал.
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:21,420 Иди ко мне, парень. Давай, Сатана. Против этого ты не устоишь.
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,880 Ничего не вижу, он крошечный.
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,290 Эй, я тя засужу нахрен!
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,640 Бляха, иди ты нахрен!
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:31,370 Ну хватит, Сатана. Не вредничай.
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,050 Глянь-ка.
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:47,190 ВОУКИЗМ МЁРТВ
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,930 ТОЛЬКО МУЖЧИНЫ
00:10:03,030 --> 00:10:04,510 ТОЛЬКО ЖЕНЩИНЫ
00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:20,810 Эрик?
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,520 Хватит, Эрик. Не надо себя так мучить.
00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:27,910 Я смеялся, Баттерс.
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:32,560 И веселился. Но у меня это забрали.
00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:36,650 Я больше не особенный.
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,130 Зачем я вообще существую?
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,070 Эрик, ты это к чему?
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,930 К тому, что это конец, Баттерс.
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:47,280 Я убью себя.
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:48,650 И тебя.
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,190 Что? Меня?
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:53,000 Групповое самоубийство, Баттерс.
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:53,820 Покончим с этим.
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:56,650 Нет, Эрик, послушай. Воукизм не мёртв.
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:59,690 Он где-то есть и ждёт, чтобы вернуться.
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,100 — Он не вернётся. — Он точно ещё вернётся!
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,670 Он как искорка, что разгорится вновь.
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,190 Надо только подождать.
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:11,090 Надеюсь ты прав, Баттерс. Но если он не вернётся до вторника...
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,210 я убью нас обоих.
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,570 КАБИНЕТ ДИРЕКТОРА
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,570 Мистер Марш, я вызвал вас,
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:24,570 потому что вы против того, что Иисус явился в школу.
00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,550 Ну, я не то чтобы против, просто это странно.
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:35,100 Мистер Маки сказал, что вы оскорбляли Иисуса и не дали сесть рядом в столовой.
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:40,090 Я его не обижал. Крейг сказал, что мест нет, так и было.
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,750 Мистер Марш, он умер за ваши грехи и всех любит.
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,080 Одна истина, один крест, один спаситель.
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:46,810 И вы обретёте его в сердце своём.
00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:49,670 ПК Директор?
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:51,240 Праведный Крещёный. Да?
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:52,880 Что случилось?
00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:55,950 Что с чем случилось?
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,960 Вы были такой весь прогрессивный.
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,950 А с прошлого ноября стали вести себя странно.
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,350 И теперь вы христианин.
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:09,330 Просто я осознал, что сторона, на которой я, — безнадёжна.
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,720 А в безнадёжные времена люди обретают Христа.
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,910 Придите ко нему все обременённые,
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,130 — и Он успокоит вас. — И Я успокою вас.
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,590 Блин, чё за фигня?
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,180 Это вообще ненормально.
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,980 Такого отношения в этой школе мы не потерпим!
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,670 Мистер Марш, если не примете Христа, я вас исключу.
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:31,020 Каким это образом? Такое вроде незаконно.
00:12:31,290 --> 00:12:33,440 Нет, Мистер Марш, теперь законно.
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:36,610 Двадцать пятый год. Незаконного всё меньше.
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:40,840 Я принимаю Христа в сердце.
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:41,880 И в школе.
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:43,670 И в школе.
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,040 И за столом в столовой.
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,960 Да там места не было, блин!
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,440 И за столом в столовой.
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:50,520 Ура.
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,620 <i>Верим в Христа!</i>
00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,550 <i>Мы возвращаем Христа!</i>
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:03,030 <i>Христос — это бабки.</i>
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,560 <i>Возвращаем Христа!</i>
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,540 <i>Христос — это бабки.</i>
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:16,640 <i>Христос — это бабки.</i>
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:21,070 Господин президент, многие их тех, кто вас поддержал, теперь против.
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,740 Скажи, чтоб они расслабились!
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:26,040 Сэр, прошу, поговорите с ними, они просто в ярости.
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,440 Ладно, дай сюда.
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,360 Да расслабьтесь вы все там!
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,920 Здрасьте, ты там совсем обалдел?
00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:35,790 Наших детей заставляют сидеть с Иисусом на обеде!
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,790 Друг мой, да ты расслабься.
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,610 Протесты мне картину портят, отдохните идите!
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,510 Хрена лысого мы будем отдыхать.
00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:46,110 Жители Южного Парка требуют ответов, нахрен.
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,410 Вот как? Да я весь город засужу!
00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:50,670 Поняли? Пять миллиардов долларов!
00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:54,580 Что сказал?
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,160 Что засудит нас на пять миллиардов долларов.
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,170 Мудаки сраные, думают, могут на меня гнать?
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,640 Э-эй, Сатана.
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,610 Я сейчас не в настроении.
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:14,120 Ещё одна сучка откоментила у меня в инсте, что ты в списке Эпштейна.
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,880 Список Эпштейна? Об этом ещё толкуют?
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,730 Так ты в нём или нет?
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:22,170 Каждый раз как заходит речь, ты говоришь всем расслабиться.
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:25,610 Не говорю я всем расслабиться, расслабься ты!
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,160 Нет, надо к психологу сходить.
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:32,350 Ты мне всё больше напоминаешь того парня, с которым я встречался.
00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:34,840 Вы с ним ну вот вообще один в один.
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:38,920 Я тебя люблю.
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:42,700 Ну давай, Сатана.
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:48,610 Ой, нет!
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,380 Баттерс, милый, твой друг Картман пришёл.
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,900 Сказал, что это вторник, и у вас планы.
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,360 Эрик? Ой-ёй.
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,210 А ты можешь сказать, что меня нет?
00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:05,530 Баттерс, нужно поддерживать отношения. Иди поиграй с другом.
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:08,360 Он в гараже играет со шлангом в нашей машине.
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:10,170 Ой-ёй!
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,250 Господи боже, Эрик!
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,890 Баттерс, залезай.
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,710 Эрик, нет! Вылезай из неё!
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,340 Здесь закрыто, залезь с той стороны.
00:15:27,730 --> 00:15:29,550 — Эрик, не надо, прошу! — Закрой дверь!
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,020 — Не сдавайся! — Газ выпускаешь, закрой!
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:32,600 Хорошо!
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,380 Не сдавайся, как остальные!
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:36,540 Баттерс, это конец.
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:39,040 Хочешь неделями медленно угасать?
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:40,100 Ну, нет.
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,990 И я не хочу! Долго слишком.
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,360 На. Пристегнись. Наш последний заезд.
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,130 Ну ладненько.
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,520 Вдыхай, Баттерс.
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:55,100 Нас ждёт воуканутый рай.
00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:56,390 Тогда за дело.
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:05,580 Это шоу «Шестьдесят минут».
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,680 Обалдеть. Охренеть.
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:10,510 Господи боже.
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:15,740 Городок Южный Парк, Колорадо, протестует против президента.
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:18,290 Жители заявили, что президент...
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:19,610 А он отличный человек.
00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:20,470 Замечательный.
00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:21,210 Крутой мужик.
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:22,660 Он наверняка смотрит.
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,570 А мы только рассказываем,
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:29,740 что президент подал в суд на город в Колорадо, и они решили дать отпор.
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,770 Ещё раз поясню, мы с ними не согласны.
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:34,910 Нет, нет, мы думаем, что протестующие — дебилы.
00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:37,090 Джим Коннер с подробностями.
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:38,620 ГОРОД В КОЛОРАДО ДАЁТ ОТПОР
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:39,310 О Боже.
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:43,450 Том, я с жителями, которые выразили протест президенту.
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:47,850 Всё началось с отца, который был недоволен навязыванием Иисуса в школах.
00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:51,120 Юный Стэн Марш критикует политику президента.
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,690 Не знаю, я не знаю, почему он его критикует.
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,270 Наверное, он педик.
00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:59,250 Жители города говорят, что ничего не должны президенту.
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,880 Нам вообще никто указывать не смеет!
00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:07,010 Всем ясно, шо воканутость далеко зашла, но обратная крайность эт не выход!
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,730 Что плохого в том, чтобы сочувствовать людям?
00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:12,400 И заботиться о природе тоже хорошо.
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:16,050 Семья Стотч горда тем, что ездит на электрокаре.
00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:27,140 Да уж, что-то очень долго.
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:32,180 Человеческое тело изо всех сил цепляется за жизнь в последние минуты.
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,790 Думаю, ещё чуток.
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:37,570 Обстановка накаляется в городке Южный Парк.
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,570 Всё больше жителей объединяются против, как они говорят, тирании президента.
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:46,170 Жители говорят, что нельзя впадать в отчаянье.
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:49,250 И что надо бороться за то, во что веришь.
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,550 Нас ждут тяжкие испытания, народ.
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,170 Но мы боремся за правду.
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,640 И продолжим, даже если будем совсем одни!
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,150 Нет, нам нет нужды бороться в одним! Смотрите!
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,070 Это же Иисус!
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,620 Давайте преломим хлеб! Преломите со мной хлеб!
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,530 Это — тело Моё, которое Я отдаю за вас!
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,120 Ешьте этот хлеб в память обо Мне.
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,780 Молча ешьте хлеб и слушайте.
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,090 Сам я не хотел в школу являться.
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:39,180 Но пришлось, потому что это один из пунктов судебного соглашения с «Парамаунт».
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,070 Президент вас засудил?
00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:46,140 Мужик вообще творит, что захочет после того, как кое-кто сдался.
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,570 Ешьте хлеб, ешьте, ну!
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,230 Видели, что стало с CBS?
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,280 А угадайте, кто владеет CBS?
00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:54,310 «Парамаунт»!
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,660 Хотите кончить как Кольбер?
00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:59,140 Перестаньте уже глупости делать!
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,520 Мы тя не понимаем!
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,760 Заткнитесь вы уже, или нас отменят, идиоты!
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,170 Том, они назвали это Нагорной Проповедью.
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:12,850 Сотни верующих стягиваются к месту,
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:16,870 где Иисус Христос продолжает нести миру слова мудрости.
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:21,980 Человек с властью президента, который может засудить любого и брать взятки,
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,030 сойдёт с рук всё что угодно!
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,960 Он же, сука, президент!
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,120 Завалите нахер варежки, или Южному Парку конец.
00:19:30,190 --> 00:19:33,450 Всему жопа, остановитесь и заткнитесь сука!
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:37,370 Д-да-да, сэр.
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,530 Хорошо.
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,100 Само собой.
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,870 Спасибо, господин президент. С радостью заплатим, сэр.
00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:47,510 Да, сэр, я... Я расслаблюсь и отдохну.
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,960 Спасибо вам огромное, да.
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,510 Всё, договорились.
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,010 Договорились, слава Богу.
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,050 Я договорился на три с половиной миллиона.
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,620 Три с половиной? Не так страшно.
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:03,520 Как по мне, очень справедливо.
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:08,800 Придётся только урезать финансирование школ, больниц и дорог, и мы соберём.
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,660 Да. Хорошо. Отлично.
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,660 Но только это не ещё всё.
00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:17,470 По соглашению мы ещё должны прославлять идеи Трампа.
00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:20,700 И как мы вообще будем это делать?
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,030 Хватит вам, народ, мы Южный Парк, мы сможем!
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,480 Да. Да. Он прав!
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,200 Будем работать вместе!
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,250 Да! Да! За дело!
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:31,320 СОЦИАЛЬНЫЙ РОЛИК ЗА ТРАМПА ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:36,550 Кто ради вас прошёл через пустыню?
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,410 Кто выжил в дикой жаре и принес наивысшую жертву?
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:48,140 Когда ситуация накалится, кто избавит нас от искушения?
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,920 Дональд Джей Трамп.
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,640 Неважно, какая настанет жара,
00:20:58,510 --> 00:21:00,860 он не побоится бороться за Америку.
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:08,470 Он выжил в пустыне благодаря стойкости, дисциплине и вере в Бога.
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,210 Я Дональд Джей Трамп, и я это одобряю.
00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:24,120 Трамп...
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:30,130 может, у него и крошечный пенис, зато любовь к нам огромна.
00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:35,650 ОН НАС ПОНИМАЕТ (ДОСТАНЕТ). ВСЕХ НАС.
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:39,230 ОНВСЕХТРАМПАНУЛ.COM
00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:47,060 Кажется, я ухожу.
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,600 Сладкая смерть вот-вот придёт.
00:21:50,860 --> 00:21:51,740 Люблю тя, мужик.
00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:58,740 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,786 <i>♪ MTV</i>
00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447 <i>♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405 <i>♪ Gonna have myself a time</i>
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976 <i>♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890 <i>♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪</i>
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678 <i>♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811 <i>♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪</i>
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293 <i>♪ Come on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122 <i>♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪</i>
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,484 Alexa, put on 90.1.
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790 <i>Got it.</i>
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,879 <i>Now playing radio station 90.1 FM.</i>
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,281 What the fuck?
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,546 Mom, something's wrong with my favorite show.
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,852 It's just, like, static.
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,157 Your favorite show?
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,464 Yeah, NPR, National Public Radio,
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,770 where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff.
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,118 Something's wrong with it.
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,122 Oh, sweetie, the president canceled NPR.
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,951 What do you mean, the president canceled NPR?
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,299 That was, like, the funniest shit ever.
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,649 I don't know what to tell you, hon.
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,522 Oh, my God.
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,741 You guys!
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,047 You guys are not gonna believe this.
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,529 The president of the United States canceled NPR.
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,748 - What's NPR? - What's NPR?
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,314 The funniest show ever where all the lesbians
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751 and Jews complain about stuff?
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,709 The fucking president had it taken off the air!
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,407 I mean, who the hell does this president think he is?
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,279 The government can't cancel the show.
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,151 I mean, what show are they gonna cancel next?
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,805 It was seriously the best show.
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,633 It had, like, gay rappers from Mexico all sad
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,287 because girls in Pakistan got stoned to death.
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504 And guess why they got stoned to death?
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,811 'Cause they were raped!
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,986 It was hilarious. Why would anyone cancel that?
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,162 I don't know about you, but I'm worried about
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,293 what this country's coming to.
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,599 It seems like everybody's changing
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,426 and suddenly woke stuff is off limits.
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,994 I mean, it's like now everyone rips on the Jews,
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,951 and it's totally fine.
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,127 Huh, Kyle?
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,346 See?
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,566 What's wrong with Kyle?
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,175 Everybody's given up.
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,655 <i>Attention, students.</i>
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,659 <i>There will be a mandatory assembly this morning.</i>
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:20,922 <i>All students report to the gym, mkay?</i>
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,576 Oh, boy, PC Principal.
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,231 He's not given up.
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,409 All right, everyone, listen up.
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,540 Everybody, quiet!
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,240 There's some bull crap going on in this country,
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,590 and I am not going to let it corrupt
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157 the environment at this school!
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071 Oh, here we go.
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,594 Now, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,596 of the way people are treated
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467 and mocked for being compassionate.
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,642 It is out of control!
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,906 There's only one thing that can bring some normality
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,647 back to these corrupt times.
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,779 And that is...
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564 our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,479 What?
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,917 This school has traded truth for comfort
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,441 and worships idols of self and sin.
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,617 We were a nation under God, but now we spit in His face
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,401 and wonder why everything's falling apart.
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,620 There's only one way back--
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,839 repent, bow to Christ,
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,625 or be swept away with the rest of the godless lies.
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,671 What the hell, dude?
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,673 In order to turn things around,
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,676 I'm going to be a Power Christian Principal.
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,069 You can call me PC Principal.
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,464 So now, I'd like you all to put your hands together
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206 in welcoming Christ our Lord.
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,428 Hello, my children.
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,475 I am the light and the way.
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,955 Fellas, what the fuck is going on?
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,349 Yea, it is wonderful to be here,
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,222 for where two or three gather in my name,
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,224 there am I with them.
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,268 That's right!
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530 That's right. Let's go, Jesus.
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,792 Fuck yeah!
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889 So how was your day, guys?
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,239 Anything fun happen at school?
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,892 No, not really.
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,591 Uh, Jesus showed up.
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,636 Jesus?
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944 Yeah.
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,251 What's Jesus doing in your school?
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687 I don't know.
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,212 I don't think Jesus is allowed to be in schools.
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,041 Yeah, well, he was there.
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,653 Well, I think I'm gonna have to talk to somebody about this.
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134 Hey, uh, how's it going?
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,746 Um, is Jesus supposed to be allowed in schools?
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,577 <i>Generally, the idea is that public schools</i>
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,884 <i>have to maintain a separation of church and state,</i>
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,756 <i>so they can't promote any one religion.</i>
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,322 Yeah, that's what I thought.
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,107 The government can't force a religion on my son.
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,719 <i>Public schools can teach about religions</i>
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677 <i>in a neutral educational way,</i>
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,940 <i>but they can't endorse any particular one.</i>
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,682 <i>Was it a lesson on all world religions?</i>
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249 Uh, no.
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,078 My son said that Jesus was literally at his school.
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,866 <i>Then you're probably right to be concerned.</i>
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173 <i>It's good you're looking out for your son's education.</i>
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,739 Thanks.
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,957 It's really nice to have someone
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569 to talk to about all this.
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,570 <i>No worries.</i>
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,745 <i>Let me know if there's any other way I can help.</i>
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,747 <i>I'm always here.</i>
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,444 You're so awesome. Thanks.
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,360 Good night, honey.
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,969 <i>Have a great sleep,</i>
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,971 <i>and I'm sure you'll do more amazing things tomorrow.</i>
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,105 Ah.
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,116 - Butters! - Ahh!
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,726 Butters, get over here.
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,381 What did I tell you, man? This shit is wack!
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,861 PC Principal?
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,210 If he's changed, then there's no hope!
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,300 I think I know what's happening.
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,780 I think woke is dead.
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,566 Woke is dead?
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,612 It's dead, Butters. It's gone!
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,789 You can just say retarded now. Nobody cares.
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,007 Everyone hates the Jews.
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,053 Everyone's fine with using gay slurs.
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,446 Oh. Well, that's not good.
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,230 No, it's terrible!
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,797 'Cause now I don't know...
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,408 what I'm supposed to do.
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,982 Eric?
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,250 <i>More protests today</i>
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,033 <i>as the government pushes harder for Christianity</i>
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,861 <i>in our nation's schools.</i>
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,560 <i>The president stated earlier today that the spirit of Jesus</i>
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,127 <i>is important to our country,</i>
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,869 and he will sue anyone who doesn't agree with him.
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,263 What the hell is this president doing?
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,091 He doesn't even act like a Christian.
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,832 Why is he pushing it on our kids?
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,224 I told you this was all gonna be bad,
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,009 but a lot of you here voted for him.
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,445 Yeah, I voted for him,
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,753 but all I've seen him do is arrest and sue people.
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,494 I voted for him to get rid of all the woke stuff.
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,627 But now that retarded faggot is just putting money
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:51,889 in his own pockets.
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,063 - Yeah! - That's right!
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,500 Are we just gonna sit here
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,067 and let him break every rule of freedom?
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,025 - No! - No way!
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287 Well, come on!
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,374 Let's go get that son of a bitch.
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,334 Yeah!
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,465 Yeah!
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,597 Come on! Come on, let's go get him!
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295 Come on, let's get him!
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,818 - Let's go get him! - Come on, let's get him!
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,257 Come on out, you piece of shit.
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,781 We're unelecting you.
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,573 Excuse me. Do you mind?
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,969 What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,103 I'm not doing anything.
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,843 Oh, so you haven't been looting the country
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,106 and ruling by fear
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,108 like some Middle Eastern tinpot dictator?
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,981 No, I've been sitting here
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809 watching "White Lotus" with Rick.
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,117 But you got re-elected.
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,684 He hasn't been back to Washington in years.
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991 He gave all that up.
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,340 He's been really good.
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,474 But if he's here,
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,520 then who's the retarded faggot
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,695 in the White House?
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,484 Uh-huh.
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,050 Yeah.
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,878 OK.
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577 Mr. President, sir, the prime minister of Canada
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,013 is here to see you.
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,101 Mr. President, why are you placing
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,798 these new tariffs on Canada?
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,061 What are you, some kind of dictator from the Middle East?
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,239 A dictator from the Middle East?
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,981 Hey, relax, guy.
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,462 I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest.
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,986 The people of Canada will not be devalued like this.
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,466 Aw, come on.
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,685 You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq.
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,774 I thought you just bombed Iran.
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,297 Iran, Iraq--what the hell's the difference?
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,821 Relax, guy.
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999 Hey! Hey!
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653 What the fuck is this, buddy?
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,264 This is the painting you asked for, sir.
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,961 Why is my dick so small?
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,354 But that's the size it is in the photo.
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,747 Get this guy out of here!
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,922 I'm gonna sue you!
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,271 I'm gonna sue both of you.
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,317 Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,802 Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it.
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371 Hey, Satan!
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,765 I don't want to right now.
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,941 What? Hey, relax.
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,987 Come on, Satan. I've been working hard all day.
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,684 You haven't been working.
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,860 You've been doing your stupid memes and just fuckin' around.
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209 Come here, guy.
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,646 Aw, come on, Satan.
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,560 You know you can't resist this.
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,520 I can't even see anything, it's so small.
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,175 Hey! I'll fucking sue you!
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,220 God, fuck you!
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,525 Aw, come on, Satan.
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,701 Don't be like that.
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,924 Eric?
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,145 Come on, Eric.
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,495 You--you can't keep doing this to yourself.
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,498 I used to laugh, Butters.
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,455 I used to have fun.
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197 But now they've taken that away.
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,506 I'm not special anymore.
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,901 So what's the point in me even existing?
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,466 Eric, what are you saying?
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,906 I'm saying that it's the end, Butters.
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734 I'm gonna kill myself,
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,257 and you.
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,258 Wait, me?
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,825 It's a suicide pact, Butters.
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,043 It's just best we end it now.
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,263 No, Eric, listen to me.
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,872 Woke isn't dead.
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,527 It's still out there, somewhere,
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,224 just waiting to come back.
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,704 - It's not coming back. - It's waiting to come back!
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,925 It's like a little tiny light that's gonna shine again.
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,447 You just gotta give it some time.
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,276 I hope you're right, Butters.
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,279 But if it doesn't come back by, like, Tuesday,
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,673 I'm killing us both.
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:21,070 Mr. Marsh, I've called you into my office
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,072 because I understand that you have a problem
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,510 with Jesus in our schools.
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,557 I don't have a problem with it.
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,167 I mean, I think it's kind of weird.
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,213 Well, Mr. Mackey says you were bullying Jesus
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:36,346 and wouldn't let him sit at your table in the cafeteria.
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,132 What? I didn't bully him.
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,569 Craig told him our table was full, which it was.
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,005 Mr. Marsh, Christ died for your sins, and he loves us all.
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,574 There's only one truth, one cross, and one savior.
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,271 And you will find him in your heart.
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,925 PC Principal?
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,798 Power Christian Principal, yes?
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,016 What happened?
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890 What--what happened with what?
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,935 Well, you used to be, like, super woke.
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545 And then starting last November,
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,111 you started acting weird.
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,592 And now you're super Christian.
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:10,033 I just realized that the side I was on was hopeless.
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,948 And in times of hopelessness, one finds Christ.
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,037 Come to him, all who are heavy laden,
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,388 and he shall give you rest. - And I shall give you rest.
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,825 Dude, what's going on?
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,217 Like, none of this seems normal.
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,565 That's the kind of attitude
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,393 we are not gonna tolerate at this school!
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,395 And, Mr. Marsh, if you don't accept Christ,
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921 then I'm gonna have to expel you.
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,836 K, I'm pretty sure you can't do that.
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,358 Like, I think that's illegal.
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,316 No, Mr. Marsh, it's not illegal anymore.
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,362 This is 2025, K?
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,625 And not much is illegal.
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,803 I accept Christ into my heart.
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544 And into your school.
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850 And in my school.
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,242 And at your table in the cafeteria.
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,854 There wasn't any room at my table--ah.
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,769 And at my table in the cafeteria.
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,032 Yay.
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,425 <i>♪ Oh! ♪</i>
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,426 <i>♪ Faith in Christ ♪</i>
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,387 <i>♪ We're bringing back Christ ♪</i>
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,216 <i>♪ There's money in Christ ♪</i>
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,220 <i>♪ Bringing back Christ</i>
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,615 <i>♪ Christ makes the money ♪</i>
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,098 <i>♪ Christ makes the money</i>
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,404 <i>♪ Christ makes the money ♪</i>
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,450 Mr. President, a lot of your supporters
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,887 are starting to turn against you.
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,932 Hey, tell them to take a rest.
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,673 Sir, can you please talk to them?
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,413 They're really riled up.
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,676 All right, give me that.
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677 Hey, relax, guys.
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,159 Yeah, hi, uh, what do you think you're doing?
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,464 Our children are being told that they have to sit
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,989 with Jesus at lunchtime.
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991 Listen, buddy, you just need to relax.
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,470 All this protesting makes me look bad.
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,994 Just take a rest.
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,909 Well, no, we're not gonna give it a rest.
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,431 All the people here in South Park
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,347 want some goddamn answers.
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,609 All right, then I'm gonna sue your whole town.
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,873 You got that? $5 billion.
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,614 Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,486 What'd he say?
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,924 He said he's suing us for $5 billion.
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928 Fucking stupid idiots.
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,798 Think they can mess with me, huh?
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,151 Hey, Satan.
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,109 I'm not in the mood right now.
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,676 Another random bitch commented on my Instagram
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,375 that you're on the Epstein list.
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,679 The Epstein list?
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,117 Are we still talking "aboot" that?
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,032 Well, are you on the list or not?
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,684 It's weird that whenever it comes up,
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,513 you just tell everyone to relax.
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,427 I'm not telling everyone to relax.
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126 Relax, guy!
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,606 No, I need counseling.
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,520 You remind me more and more of this other guy
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523 I used to date, like, a lot.
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,047 Like, you guys are exactly alike.
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,095 I love you.
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489 Ugh.
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,230 Come on, Satan.
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,669 Vroom! Pew!
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,844 Oh, no!
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,410 Vroom!
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,804 Butters, honey, your little friend Cartman is here.
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,110 He said it's Tuesday, and you guys have plans.
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,548 Eric?
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,940 Oh, no.
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,378 Well, um, can you tell him I'm not home?
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,120 Butters, don't be antisocial.
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,861 Go play with your friend.
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646 He's out in the garage playing in our car with a hose.
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:10,561 Oh, no!
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742 Oh, God, Eric!
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,006 Hey, Butters, come on in.
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399 Eric, no! Get out of there!
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,357 That side's locked, Butters.
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,924 You gotta get on the other side.
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,276 Eric, you don't have to do this!
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,233 - Close the door, Butters! - You can't give up--
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,364 You're letting all the fumes out!
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,540 Shut the fucking door! - OK, fine!
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,369 You can't just give up like everyone else has.
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,631 Butters, it's over.
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,892 You really wanna sit around for weeks
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,589 waiting for a slow demise?
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,113 - Well, no. - Well, neither do I!
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,462 This is taking too long.
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031 Here you go, Butters.
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,684 Buckle up. We're in for the last ride.
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,122 All right, fine.
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,822 Suck it in, Butters.
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,388 We're heading for that big woke kingdom in the sky.
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,955 OK, then.
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,529 <i>This is "60 Minutes."</i>
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,965 <i>Oh, boy.</i>
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,141 <i>Oh, shit.</i>
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,448 Uh, oh, God.
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,929 The small town of South Park, Colorado
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,365 is protesting against the president.
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,411 The townspeople claim that the president--
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,978 who is a great man--
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415 - A great man. - Great guy.
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,894 We know he's probably watching.
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,419 And, uh, we are just reporting on this town in Colorado
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248 that's being sued by the president
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,031 and they are fighting back.
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,728 And just to be clear, we don't agree with them.
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122 No, no, no, no.
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,081 We think these protesters are total retards.
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,300 But our own Jim Conner has more.
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,650 Uh--oh, God.
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,174 Uh--uh, Tom, I'm here with the townspeople
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654 speaking out against the president.
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,743 It all started when a father got upset
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,484 that Jesus was being forced on his son at school.
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,009 Young Stan Marsh is questioning the president's policies.
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,707 I don't know.
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:53,969 You know, I don't know why he's questioning the president.
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884 He's probably a faggot or something.
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,496 But the townspeople say they owe the president nothing.
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,325 We aren't gonna be told what to do by anyone.
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,545 We all know the woke stuff went too far,
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,330 but the answer isn't going too far the other way.
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,159 It's not a bad thing to have a little compassion for people.
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,988 It's not a bad thing to care a little for the environment.
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,468 The Stotch family is proud to say
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,818 that we own an electric car.
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,871 Boy, this sure is taking a long time.
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,353 Yeah, the human body does everything it can
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,659 in the final stages to try and cling to life.
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,575 Shouldn't be much longer now.
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,924 <i>Things are really heating up</i>
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,752 <i>in the small town of South Park.</i>
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,668 <i>More and more citizens are uniting in solidarity</i>
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,539 <i>against what they call the president's oppression.</i>
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,281 <i>The townspeople are saying things are never hopeless,</i>
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,110 <i>that they must all stand strong</i>
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,372 <i>for what they believe in.</i>
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766 We're in this for the long haul, guys.
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,594 This is about what's right.
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,293 And we will fight, even if we have to do it alone.
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,471 Wait, we don't have to do it alone.
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,691 Look!
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,652 It's Jesus!
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,355 Let us break bread.
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835 Break bread with me.
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,273 This is my body, given for you.
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,928 Do this in remembrance of me.
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,891 Now just eat the bread, and listen.
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,461 I didn't wanna come back and be in the school,
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,420 but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,466 and the agreement with Paramount.
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,424 The president's suing you?
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,339 The guy can do whatever he wants now
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,212 that someone backed down, OK?
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,778 Eat the bread. Eat the bread.
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,346 You guys saw what happened to CBS?
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,393 Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,002 Paramount!
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,005 Do you really wanna end up like Colbert?
00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,182 You guys gotta stop being stupid.
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228 We can't understand you.
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,532 Just shut up,
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,014 or we're going to get canceled, you idiots.
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,449 What the hell is he saying?
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540 Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount.
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,673 Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:17,459 where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom.
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,506 If someone has the power of the presidency
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,291 and also has the power to sue and take bribes,
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,380 then he can do anything to anyone!
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,469 It's the fucking president, dude.
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,169 All of you, shut the fuck up, or South Park is over.
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605 It's fucking over.
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737 Just stop and shut the fuck up.
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,697 Ye--yes, sir.
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,351 OK.
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,831 Absolutely.
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,398 Yes, thank you, Mr. President.
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,356 We'll be happy to pay that, sir.
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,574 Yes, sir. I--
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230 I will relax, and I'll take a rest.
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,187 Yes, thank you.
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,319 Thank you very much.
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,626 OK, we settled.
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,976 Oh, we settled.
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,281 Thank God.
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,372 I got the president down to $3.5 million.
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,808 $3.5 million? That's--that's not so bad.
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,680 That's really fair. I think that's fair.
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334 We'll just have to cut some funding
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,857 for our schools and hospitals and roads,
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,642 and that should be that. - Yeah.
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,861 OK.
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,081 Yeah, well, that's not quite all.
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,518 As part of the settlement, we also had to agree
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,694 to doing pro-Trump messaging.
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,870 How are we supposed to do pro-Trump messaging?
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,220 Oh, come on, guys.
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,265 We're South Park!
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484 We can do it.
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,920 - Yeah. All right. - He's right.
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,878 - We just gotta work together. - Yeah!
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,444 - All right! - Yeah! Yeah!
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,018 <i>Who walked through the desert for you?</i>
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501 <i>Who survived the wilderness</i>
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,591 <i>and gave the ultimate sacrifice?</i>
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:48,420 <i>When things heat up, who will deliver us from temptation?</i>
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,295 <i>Donald J. Trump.</i>
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:58,561 <i>No matter how hot it gets,</i>
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,130 <i>he's not afraid to fight for America.</i>
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,961 <i>With conviction, discipline, and trust in God,</i>
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,441 <i>he survived the desert.</i>
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,280 <i>I'm Donald J. Trump, and I endorse this message.</i>
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,022 <i>Trump--</i>
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,503 <i>his penis is teeny tiny,</i>
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,332 <i>but his love for us is large.</i>
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,176 Oh, I think I might be going.
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,570 <i>Yep, sweet death is about to come.</i>
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,527 I love you, man.

00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,786 <i>- ♪ MTV</i>
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:12,142 <i>[theme music]</i>
00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447 <i>- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405 <i>♪ Gonna have myself a time</i>
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886 - ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976 <i>- ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890 <i>♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪</i>
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678 <i>- ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811 <i>♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪</i>
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:32,074 - ♪ [mumbling] ♪
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293 <i>- ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪</i>
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122 <i>♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪</i>
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,997 <i>[guitar strumming]</i>
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,392 [alarm blares]
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,047 [yawns]
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,484 Alexa, put on 90.1.
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790 <i>ALEXA: Got it.</i>
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,879 <i>Now playing radio station 90.1 FM.</i>
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:58,232 <i>[radio static drones]</i>
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,281 - What the fuck?
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,546 Mom, something's wrong with my favorite show.
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,852 It's just, like, static.
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,157 - Your favorite show?
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,464 Yeah, NPR, National Public Radio,
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,770 where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff.
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,118 Something's wrong with it.
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,122 - Oh, sweetie, the president canceled NPR.
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,951 - What do you mean, the president canceled NPR?
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,299 That was, like, the funniest shit ever.
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,649 - I don't know what to tell you, hon.
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,522 - Oh, my God.
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,741 You guys!
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,047 You guys are not gonna believe this.
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,529 The president of the United States canceled NPR.
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,748 - [muffled] What's NPR? - What's NPR?
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,314 The funniest show ever where all the lesbians
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751 and Jews complain about stuff?
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,709 The fucking president had it taken off the air!
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,407 I mean, who the hell does this president think he is?
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,279 The government can't cancel the show.
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,151 I mean, what show are they gonna cancel next?
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,805 It was seriously the best show.
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,633 It had, like, gay rappers from Mexico all sad
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,287 because girls in Pakistan got stoned to death.
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504 And guess why they got stoned to death?
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,811 'Cause they were raped!
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,986 It was hilarious. Why would anyone cancel that?
00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,162 I don't know about you, but I'm worried about
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,293 what this country's coming to.
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,599 It seems like everybody's changing
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,426 and suddenly woke stuff is off limits.
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,994 I mean, it's like now everyone rips on the Jews,
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,951 and it's totally fine.
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,127 Huh, Kyle?
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,346 See?
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,566 What's wrong with Kyle?
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,175 Everybody's given up.
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,655 <i>MR. MACKEY [ON INTERCOM]: Attention, students.</i>
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,659 <i>There will be a mandatory assembly this morning.</i>
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:20,922 <i>All students report to the gym, mkay?</i>
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,576 - Oh, boy, PC Principal.
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,231 He's not given up.
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:27,015 [lively chatter]
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,409 - All right, everyone, listen up.
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,540 Everybody, quiet!
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:31,890 [chatter stops]
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,240 There's some bull crap going on in this country,
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,590 and I am not going to let it corrupt
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157 the environment at this school!
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071 - Oh, here we go.
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,594 - Now, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,596 of the way people are treated
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467 and mocked for being compassionate.
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,642 It is out of control!
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,906 There's only one thing that can bring some normality
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,647 back to these corrupt times.
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,779 And that is...
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564 our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,479 - What?
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,917 This school has traded truth for comfort
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,441 and worships idols of self and sin.
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,617 We were a nation under God, but now we spit in His face
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,401 and wonder why everything's falling apart.
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,620 There's only one way back--
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,839 repent, bow to Christ,
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,625 or be swept away with the rest of the godless lies.
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,671 - What the hell, dude?
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,673 - In order to turn things around,
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,676 I'm going to be a Power Christian Principal.
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,069 You can call me PC Principal.
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,464 So now, I'd like you all to put your hands together
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206 in welcoming Christ our Lord.
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,644 <i>[ethereal music]</i>
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,428 - Hello, my children.
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,475 I am the light and the way.
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,955 Fellas, what the fuck is going on?
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,349 - Yea, it is wonderful to be here,
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,222 for where two or three gather in my name,
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,224 there am I with them.
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,268 - That's right!
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530 That's right. Let's go, Jesus.
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,792 Fuck yeah!
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,102 [dishes clinking]
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889 - So how was your day, guys?
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,239 Anything fun happen at school?
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,892 - No, not really.
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,591 Uh, Jesus showed up.
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,636 - Jesus?
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944 - Yeah.
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,251 - What's Jesus doing in your school?
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687 - I don't know.
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,212 - I don't think Jesus is allowed to be in schools.
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,041 - Yeah, well, he was there.
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,653 - Well, I think I'm gonna have to talk to somebody about this.
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134 Hey, uh, how's it going?
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,746 Um, is Jesus supposed to be allowed in schools?
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:32,532 [ChatGPT typing]
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,577 <i>CHATGPT: Generally, the idea is that public schools</i>
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,884 <i>have to maintain a separation of church and state,</i>
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,756 <i>so they can't promote any one religion.</i>
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,322 - Yeah, that's what I thought.
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,107 The government can't force a religion on my son.
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,719 <i>CHATGPT: Public schools can teach about religions</i>
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677 <i>in a neutral educational way,</i>
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,940 <i>but they can't endorse any particular one.</i>
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,682 <i>Was it a lesson on all world religions?</i>
00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249 - Uh, no.
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,078 My son said that Jesus was literally at his school.
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:59,429 [ChatGPT typing]
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,866 <i>CHATGPT: Then you're probably right to be concerned.</i>
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173 <i>It's good you're looking out for your son's education.</i>
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,739 - [chuckles] Thanks.
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,957 It's really nice to have someone
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569 to talk to about all this.
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,570 <i>CHATGPT: No worries.</i>
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,745 <i>Let me know if there's any other way I can help.</i>
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,747 <i>I'm always here.</i>
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,444 - You're so awesome. Thanks.
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,360 Good night, honey.
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,969 <i>CHATGPT: Have a great sleep,</i>
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,971 <i>and I'm sure you'll do more amazing things tomorrow.</i>
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,105 [farts] - Ah.
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,325 [school bell rings]
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,544 [indistinct chatter]
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,504 <i>[ethereal music]</i>
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,116 - Butters! - Ahh!
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,726 - Butters, get over here.
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,381 What did I tell you, man? This shit is wack!
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,861 PC Principal?
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,210 If he's changed, then there's no hope!
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,300 I think I know what's happening.
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,780 I think woke is dead.
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,086 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,566 - Woke is dead?
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,612 - It's dead, Butters. It's gone!
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,789 You can just say retarded now. Nobody cares.
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,007 Everyone hates the Jews.
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,053 Everyone's fine with using gay slurs.
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,446 - Oh. Well, that's not good.
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,230 - No, it's terrible!
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,797 'Cause now I don't know...
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,408 what I'm supposed to do.
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,193 <i>[soft music]</i>
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:11,761 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,982 - Eric?
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:19,987 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,250 <i>REPORTER [ON TV]: More protests today</i>
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,033 <i>as the government pushes harder for Christianity</i>
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,861 <i>in our nation's schools.</i>
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,560 <i>The president stated earlier today that the spirit of Jesus</i>
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,127 <i>is important to our country,</i>
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,869 and he will sue anyone who doesn't agree with him.
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,263 - What the hell is this president doing?
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,091 He doesn't even act like a Christian.
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,832 Why is he pushing it on our kids?
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,224 - I told you this was all gonna be bad,
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,009 but a lot of you here voted for him.
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,445 - Yeah, I voted for him,
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,753 but all I've seen him do is arrest and sue people.
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,494 - I voted for him to get rid of all the woke stuff.
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,627 But now that retarded faggot is just putting money
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:51,889 in his own pockets.
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,063 - Yeah! - That's right!
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,500 - Are we just gonna sit here
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,067 and let him break every rule of freedom?
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,025 - No! - No way!
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287 - Well, come on!
00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,374 Let's go get that son of a bitch.
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,334 Yeah! [crowd clamoring]
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,465 [glass shattering] - Yeah!
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,597 Come on! Come on, let's go get him!
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295 - Come on, let's get him!
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,818 - Let's go get him! - Come on, let's get him!
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,646 [pounding on door]
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,257 - Come on out, you piece of shit.
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,781 We're unelecting you.
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,220 [clamoring stops]
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,573 - Excuse me. Do you mind?
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,969 - What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,103 - I'm not doing anything.
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,843 - Oh, so you haven't been looting the country
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,106 and ruling by fear
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,108 like some Middle Eastern tinpot dictator?
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,981 - No, I've been sitting here
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809 watching "White Lotus" with Rick.
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,117 - But you got re-elected.
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,684 - He hasn't been back to Washington in years.
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991 He gave all that up.
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,340 He's been really good.
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,474 - But if he's here,
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,520 then who's the retarded faggot
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,695 in the White House?
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:03,134 <i>[lively string music]</i>
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,484 MAN: Uh-huh.
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,050 Yeah.
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,878 OK.
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577 - Mr. President, sir, the prime minister of Canada
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,013 is here to see you.
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,101 - Mr. President, why are you placing
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,798 these new tariffs on Canada?
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,061 What are you, some kind of dictator from the Middle East?
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,324 <i>♪</i>
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,239 - A dictator from the Middle East?
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,981 Hey, relax, guy.
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,462 I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest.
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,986 - The people of Canada will not be devalued like this.
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,466 - Aw, come on.
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,685 You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq.
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,774 - I thought you just bombed Iran.
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,297 Iran, Iraq--what the hell's the difference?
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,821 Relax, guy.
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,520 [humming happily]
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999 Hey! Hey!
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653 What the fuck is this, buddy?
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,264 - This is the painting you asked for, sir.
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,961 - Why is my dick so small?
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,354 - But that's the size it is in the photo.
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,747 - Get this guy out of here!
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,922 I'm gonna sue you!
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,271 I'm gonna sue both of you.
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,317 Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,802 Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it.
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371 Hey, Satan!
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,765 - I don't want to right now.
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,941 - What? Hey, relax.
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,987 Come on, Satan. I've been working hard all day.
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,684 - You haven't been working.
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,860 You've been doing your stupid memes and just fuckin' around.
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209 - Come here, guy.
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,646 Aw, come on, Satan.
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,560 You know you can't resist this.
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,213 <i>♪</i>
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,520 - I can't even see anything, it's so small.
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,175 - Hey! I'll fucking sue you!
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,220 - God, fuck you!
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,525 - Aw, come on, Satan.
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,701 Don't be like that.
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,695 - [sighs deeply]
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,351 [ducks quacking]
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,924 - Eric?
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,145 Come on, Eric.
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,495 You--you can't keep doing this to yourself.
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,498 - I used to laugh, Butters.
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,455 I used to have fun.
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197 But now they've taken that away.
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,506 I'm not special anymore.
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,901 So what's the point in me even existing?
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,466 - Eric, what are you saying?
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,906 - I'm saying that it's the end, Butters.
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734 I'm gonna kill myself,
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,257 and you.
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,258 - Wait, me?
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,825 - It's a suicide pact, Butters.
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,043 It's just best we end it now.
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,263 - No, Eric, listen to me.
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,872 Woke isn't dead.
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,527 It's still out there, somewhere,
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,224 just waiting to come back.
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,704 - It's not coming back. - It's waiting to come back!
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,925 It's like a little tiny light that's gonna shine again.
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,447 You just gotta give it some time.
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,622 - [sighs]
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,276 I hope you're right, Butters.
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,279 But if it doesn't come back by, like, Tuesday,
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,673 I'm killing us both.
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:21,070 - Mr. Marsh, I've called you into my office
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,072 because I understand that you have a problem
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,510 with Jesus in our schools.
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,642 <i>[ethereal music]</i>
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,557 - I don't have a problem with it.
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,167 I mean, I think it's kind of weird.
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,213 - Well, Mr. Mackey says you were bullying Jesus
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:36,346 and wouldn't let him sit at your table in the cafeteria.
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,132 - What? I didn't bully him.
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,569 Craig told him our table was full, which it was.
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,005 - Mr. Marsh, Christ died for your sins, and he loves us all.
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,574 There's only one truth, one cross, and one savior.
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,271 And you will find him in your heart.
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,925 - PC Principal?
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,798 - Power Christian Principal, yes?
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,016 - What happened?
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890 - What--what happened with what?
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,935 - Well, you used to be, like, super woke.
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545 And then starting last November,
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,111 you started acting weird.
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,592 And now you're super Christian.
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:10,033 - I just realized that the side I was on was hopeless.
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,948 And in times of hopelessness, one finds Christ.
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,037 Come to him, all who are heavy laden,
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,388 and he shall give you rest. - And I shall give you rest.
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,825 - Dude, what's going on?
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,217 Like, none of this seems normal.
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,565 - That's the kind of attitude
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,393 we are not gonna tolerate at this school!
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,395 And, Mr. Marsh, if you don't accept Christ,
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921 then I'm gonna have to expel you.
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,836 - K, I'm pretty sure you can't do that.
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,358 Like, I think that's illegal.
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,316 - No, Mr. Marsh, it's not illegal anymore.
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,362 This is 2025, K?
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,625 And not much is illegal.
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,803 - I accept Christ into my heart.
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544 - And into your school.
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850 - And in my school.
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,242 - And at your table in the cafeteria.
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,854 - There wasn't any room at my table--ah.
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,769 And at my table in the cafeteria.
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,032 - Yay.
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,033 <i>[upbeat funky music]</i>
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,425 <i>- ♪ Oh! ♪</i>
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,426 <i>♪ Faith in Christ ♪</i>
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,689 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,387 <i>♪ We're bringing back Christ ♪</i>
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,432 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,216 <i>♪ There's money in Christ ♪</i>
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,218 <i>♪</i>
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,220 <i>♪ Bringing back Christ</i>
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:10,224 <i>♪</i>
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,615 <i>♪ Christ makes the money ♪</i>
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,098 <i>♪ Christ makes the money</i>
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,404 <i>♪ Christ makes the money ♪</i>
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:17,666 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,450 - Mr. President, a lot of your supporters
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,887 are starting to turn against you.
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,932 - Hey, tell them to take a rest.
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,673 - Sir, can you please talk to them?
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,413 They're really riled up.
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,676 - All right, give me that.
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677 Hey, relax, guys.
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,159 - Yeah, hi, uh, what do you think you're doing?
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,464 Our children are being told that they have to sit
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,989 with Jesus at lunchtime.
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991 - Listen, buddy, you just need to relax.
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,470 All this protesting makes me look bad.
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,994 Just take a rest.
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,909 - Well, no, we're not gonna give it a rest.
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,431 All the people here in South Park
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,347 want some goddamn answers.
00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,609 - All right, then I'm gonna sue your whole town.
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,873 You got that? $5 billion.
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,614 Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,486 - What'd he say?
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,924 - He said he's suing us for $5 billion.
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928 - Fucking stupid idiots.
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,798 Think they can mess with me, huh?
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:06,583 <i>[lively string music]</i>
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,151 Hey, Satan.
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,109 - I'm not in the mood right now.
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,676 Another random bitch commented on my Instagram
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,375 that you're on the Epstein list.
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,679 - The Epstein list?
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,117 Are we still talking "aboot" that?
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,032 - Well, are you on the list or not?
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,684 It's weird that whenever it comes up,
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,513 you just tell everyone to relax.
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,427 - I'm not telling everyone to relax.
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126 Relax, guy!
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,606 - No, I need counseling.
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,520 You remind me more and more of this other guy
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523 I used to date, like, a lot.
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,047 Like, you guys are exactly alike.
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:38,094 <i>♪</i>
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,095 - I love you.
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489 - Ugh.
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,230 Come on, Satan.
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,669 - Vroom! Pew!
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,844 Oh, no!
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,410 [imitating explosion] Vroom!
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,804 - Butters, honey, your little friend Cartman is here.
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,110 He said it's Tuesday, and you guys have plans.
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,547 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,548 Eric?
00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,940 Oh, no.
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,378 Well, um, can you tell him I'm not home?
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,120 - Butters, don't be antisocial.
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,861 Go play with your friend.
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646 He's out in the garage playing in our car with a hose.
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:10,561 - Oh, no!
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742 Oh, God, Eric!
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,006 - Hey, Butters, come on in.
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399 - Eric, no! Get out of there!
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,357 - That side's locked, Butters.
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,924 You gotta get on the other side.
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,276 - Eric, you don't have to do this!
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,233 - Close the door, Butters! - You can't give up--
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,364 - You're letting all the fumes out!
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,540 Shut the fucking door! - OK, fine!
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,369 You can't just give up like everyone else has.
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,631 - Butters, it's over.
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,892 You really wanna sit around for weeks
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,589 waiting for a slow demise?
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,113 - Well, no. - Well, neither do I!
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,462 This is taking too long.
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,680 [inhaling]
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031 Here you go, Butters.
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,684 Buckle up. We're in for the last ride.
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,122 - All right, fine.
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,732 [inhaling]
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,822 - Suck it in, Butters.
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,388 We're heading for that big woke kingdom in the sky.
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,955 - OK, then.
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:57,957 [inhales]
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,831 [clock ticking]
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,529 <i>HOST: This is "60 Minutes."</i>
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,965 <i>Oh, boy.</i>
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,141 <i>Oh, shit.</i>
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,448 Uh, oh, God.
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,929 The small town of South Park, Colorado
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,365 is protesting against the president.
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,411 The townspeople claim that the president--
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,978 who is a great man--
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415 - A great man. - Great guy.
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,894 We know he's probably watching.
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,419 And, uh, we are just reporting on this town in Colorado
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248 that's being sued by the president
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,031 and they are fighting back.
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,728 - And just to be clear, we don't agree with them.
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122 - No, no, no, no.
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,081 We think these protesters are total retards.
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,300 But our own Jim Conner has more.
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,650 - Uh--oh, God.
00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,174 Uh--uh, Tom, I'm here with the townspeople
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654 speaking out against the president.
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,743 It all started when a father got upset
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,484 that Jesus was being forced on his son at school.
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,009 Young Stan Marsh is questioning the president's policies.
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,707 I don't know.
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:53,969 You know, I don't know why he's questioning the president.
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884 He's probably a faggot or something.
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,496 But the townspeople say they owe the president nothing.
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,325 - We aren't gonna be told what to do by anyone.
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,545 - We all know the woke stuff went too far,
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,330 but the answer isn't going too far the other way.
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,159 - It's not a bad thing to have a little compassion for people.
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,988 It's not a bad thing to care a little for the environment.
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,468 The Stotch family is proud to say
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,818 that we own an electric car.
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,651 - [sighs deeply]
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,871 - Boy, this sure is taking a long time.
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,353 - Yeah, the human body does everything it can
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,659 in the final stages to try and cling to life.
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,575 Shouldn't be much longer now.
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,924 <i>JIM CONNER: Things are really heating up</i>
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,752 <i>in the small town of South Park.</i>
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,668 <i>More and more citizens are uniting in solidarity</i>
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,539 <i>against what they call the president's oppression.</i>
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,281 <i>The townspeople are saying things are never hopeless,</i>
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,110 <i>that they must all stand strong</i>
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,372 <i>for what they believe in.</i>
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766 - We're in this for the long haul, guys.
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,594 This is about what's right.
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,293 And we will fight, even if we have to do it alone.
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,340 [fireworks exploding]
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,471 - Wait, we don't have to do it alone.
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,691 Look!
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:06,911 [cheering]
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,652 It's Jesus!
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:11,306 [cheering]
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,918 <i>[ethereal music]</i>
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,355 - Let us break bread.
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835 Break bread with me.
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,273 This is my body, given for you.
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,928 Do this in remembrance of me.
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,891 Now just eat the bread, and listen.
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,461 I didn't wanna come back and be in the school,
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,420 but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,466 and the agreement with Paramount.
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,424 - The president's suing you?
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,339 - [clenched teeth] The guy can do whatever he wants now
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,212 that someone backed down, OK?
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,778 Eat the bread. Eat the bread.
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,346 You guys saw what happened to CBS?
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,393 Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,002 Paramount!
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,005 Do you really wanna end up like Colbert?
00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,182 You guys gotta stop being stupid.
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228 We can't understand you.
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,532 - [clenched teeth] Just shut up,
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,014 or we're going to get canceled, you idiots.
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,449 - [MUFFLED] What the hell is he saying?
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540 - Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount.
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,673 Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:17,459 where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom.
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,506 - [clenched teeth] If someone has the power of the presidency
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,291 and also has the power to sue and take bribes,
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,380 then he can do anything to anyone!
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,469 It's the fucking president, dude.
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,169 All of you, shut the fuck up, or South Park is over.
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605 It's fucking over.
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737 Just stop and shut the fuck up.
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,697 KYLE'S DAD: Ye--yes, sir.
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,351 OK.
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,831 Absolutely.
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,398 Yes, thank you, Mr. President.
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,356 We'll be happy to pay that, sir.
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,574 Yes, sir. I--
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230 I will relax, and I'll take a rest.
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,187 Yes, thank you.
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,319 Thank you very much.
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,626 [sighs] OK, we settled.
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,976 [sighing in relief] - Oh, we settled.
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,281 Thank God.
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,372 I got the president down to $3.5 million.
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,808 - $3.5 million? That's--that's not so bad.
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,680 - That's really fair. I think that's fair.
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334 We'll just have to cut some funding
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,857 for our schools and hospitals and roads,
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,642 and that should be that. - Yeah.
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,861 - OK. [crowd murmuring]
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,081 - Yeah, well, that's not quite all.
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,518 As part of the settlement, we also had to agree
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,694 to doing pro-Trump messaging.
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,870 - How are we supposed to do pro-Trump messaging?
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,220 - Oh, come on, guys.
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,265 We're South Park!
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484 We can do it.
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,920 - Yeah. All right. - He's right.
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,878 - We just gotta work together. - Yeah!
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,444 - All right! - Yeah! Yeah!
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:31,446 <i>[sustained beep]</i>
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,710 <i>[poignant music]</i>
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,018 <i>NARRATOR: Who walked through the desert for you?</i>
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:39,672 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501 <i>Who survived the wilderness</i>
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,591 <i>and gave the ultimate sacrifice?</i>
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:48,420 <i>When things heat up, who will deliver us from temptation?</i>
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:50,987 <i>♪</i>
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,295 <i>Donald J. Trump.</i>
00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:54,731 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:58,561 <i>No matter how hot it gets,</i>
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,130 <i>he's not afraid to fight for America.</i>
00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,961 <i>With conviction, discipline, and trust in God,</i>
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,441 <i>he survived the desert.</i>
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:16,405 <i>♪</i>
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,280 <i>PENIS: I'm Donald J. Trump, and I endorse this message.</i>
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,022 <i>NARRATOR: Trump--</i>
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,503 <i>his penis is teeny tiny,</i>
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,332 <i>but his love for us is large.</i>
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:37,296 ♪ ♪
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,176 - Oh, I think I might be going.
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,570 <i>CARTMAN: Yep, sweet death is about to come.</i>
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,527 I love you, man.
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,794 <i>[theme music]</i>
00:21:57,925 --> 00:22:04,714 <i>♪ ♪</i>

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