Нагорная проповедь

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В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ,

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ

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Соберу я свой рюкзак

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и поеду в Саус Парк.

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Дружелюбный здесь народ,

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благочестие цветёт.

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В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь

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и печали забываешь.

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Стоит только выйти в свет,

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все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»

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В Саус Парке не печалься,

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отдыхай и расслабляйся.

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В Саус Парке ждут тебя

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мои верные друзья.

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ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

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«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

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НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

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ВОУКИЗМ МЁРТВ

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ТОЛЬКО МУЖЧИНЫ

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ТОЛЬКО ЖЕНЩИНЫ

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КАБИНЕТ ДИРЕКТОРА

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Верим в Христа!

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Мы возвращаем Христа!

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Христос — это бабки.

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Возвращаем Христа!

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Христос — это бабки.

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Христос — это бабки.

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ГОРОД В КОЛОРАДО ДАЁТ ОТПОР

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СОЦИАЛЬНЫЙ РОЛИК ЗА ТРАМПА

ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

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ОН НАС ПОНИМАЕТ (ДОСТАНЕТ). ВСЕХ НАС.

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ОНВСЕХТРАМПАНУЛ.COM

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В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ,

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ

00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,800

Соберу я свой рюкзак

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и поеду в Саус Парк.

00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,820

Дружелюбный здесь народ,

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благочестие цветёт.

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В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь

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и печали забываешь.

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Стоит только выйти в свет,

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все кричат: «Привет, сосед!»

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В Саус Парке не печалься,

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отдыхай и расслабляйся.

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В Саус Парке ждут тебя

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мои верные друзья.

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ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

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Алекса, 90.1.

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Поняла. Включаю радио 90.1 FM.

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Чё за хрень.

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Мам, с моим любимым шоу что-то не то. Тупо тишина.

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С любимым шоу?

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NPR, Национальное Радио,

там либералы ноют. Что-то случилось.

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Поросёночек, а президент отменил NPR.

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В смысле отменил NPR? Эт ж охренеть как угарно.

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Не знаю, что сказать, родной.

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Охереть.

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Пацаны! Вы не поверите, блин.

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Наш президент отменил NPR!

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Что это такое?

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Чё за NPR?!

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Угарнейшее шоу, где лезбухи и евреи жалуются!

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Сраный президент снял его с эфира!

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Кем президент ваще ся возомнил?!

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Правительство не может шоу отменять!

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Чё они дальше отменят?

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Шикарное было шоу!

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Рэперы-геи из Мексики ныли о том,

что баб в Пакистане насмерть забили камнями.

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За чё, угадаете? Потому что их изнасиловали!

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Отборный угар. Чё его убрали, а?

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Серьёзно, страна скатывается к херам.

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Всё меняется, херак, и прогрессивное запрещают.

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Типа издеваться над евреями

теперь не проблема, да, Кайл?

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Видал? Чё это с Кайлом?

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Все уже слились.

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Внимание, ученики.

Сегодня утром будет обязательное собрание.

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Всем явиться в спортзал, ясненько?

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Точняк, ПК Директор ещё не сдался.

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Слушайте меня все.

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Все замолчали!

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В этой стране творится полная дичь,

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но я не позволю этому

исказить принципы нашей школы!

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Ну понеслась!

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Меня уже достало то, что людей высмеивают

за то, что одни сочувствуют другим.

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Настоящий беспредел!

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Только одно защитит нашу мораль

в это страшное время!

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И это Господь наш и Спаситель, Иисус Христос.

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Чё?

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Мы променяли правду на утехи

и поклоняемся идолам эгоизма и греха.

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Мы были народом Божьим,

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но плюнули ему в лицо

и удивляемся, почему всё рушится.

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Есть только один путь —

раскаяться, поклониться Христу,

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или нас сотрут, как прочую ересь.

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Чё за хренотень, чувак?

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Чтобы всё исправить,

я стану Праведным Крещёным Директором.

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Зовите меня ПК Директор.

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А теперь, давайте поаплодируем

и встретим Господа нашего, Иисуса.

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Здравствуйте, дети мои. Я есть свет, и я есть путь.

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Народ, чё за бред?

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Как же я рад быть здесь,

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ибо где двое или трое собрались

во имя Моё, там среди них и Я.

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Точняк! Давай, жги Иисус!

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Да, сука!

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«ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ»

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Как ваш день? Что-то интересное в школе было?

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Да нет. Иисус явился.

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Иисус?

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Ага.

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Что он делал в вашей школе?

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Не знаю.

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Вроде как Иисусу в школах быть нельзя.

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Да, но он там был.

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Надо мне это кое с кем обсудить.

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Привет, как ты? А Иисусу можно в школы заявляться?

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Госшколы должны поддерживать

разделение церкви и государства,

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и не могут пропагандировать

какую-либо одну религию.

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Вот-вот. Правительство не может

навязывать религию моему сыну.

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В госшколах могут нейтрально излагать религии,

не навязывая ни одну из них.

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Это был урок «Мировые Религии»?

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Нет, сын сказал,

что Иисус буквально явился в школу.

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Верно делаете, что переживаете.

Хорошо, что вы заботитесь об образовании сына.

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Пасиб.

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Здорово, что есть с кем это обсудить.

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Конечно. Дайте знать,

если понадобится помощь. Я всегда рядом.

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Ты обалденная. Спасибо.

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Споки, милая.

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Доброй ночи, завтра у вас будет отличный день.

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НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

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Баттерс!

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Баттерс, иди сюда.

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А я говорил! Полная дичь!

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Если ПК Директор изменился, нам конец!

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Я знаю, что происходит.

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Походу, воукизм мёртв.

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Воукизм мёртв?

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Ему конец, Баттерс!

Можно говорить «отсталый», и всем срать.

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Все ненавидят евреев.

И геев можно как хочешь обзывать!

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Ой, это не хорошо.

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Это полная жопа!

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Я не понимаю,

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а мне-то что делать?

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Эрик?

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Усиливаются протесты против того,

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что правительство навязывает

христианство в школах.

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Президент заявил сегодня,

что дух Иисуса важен для страны,

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и он засудит любого, кто не согласен.

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Чё за хрень творит президент?

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Сам по-христиански не живёт,

а нашим детям навязывает?

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Я говорил, что будет плохо,

но многие из вас за него голосовали!

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Я голосовал, да,

а он только арестовывает и в суд подаёт.

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Я голосовал, шобы он воуканутое всё убрал!

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А этот отсталый педик

тока карманы себе набивает!

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Ага! Точно!

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Будем просто смотреть,

как он попирает наши свободы?!

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Не! Нихера! Ни за что!

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Тогда за дело! Покажем ублюдку!

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Да!

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Да! Погнали!

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За ним! Вперёд!

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Ему конец! Ща мы ему дадим!

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Выходи, говна кусок! Мы тебя развыберем!

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Простите, нельзя потише?

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Ты чё за херню творишь, Гаррисон?

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Я ничего не делаю.

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Типа ты не грабишь страну и не запугиваешь всех,

как ничтожный диктатор с Ближнего Востока?

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Нет, я сижу тут и смотрю «Белый Лотос» с Риком.

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Но тебя переизбрали.

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Он не был в Вашингтоне уже несколько лет.

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Он всё оставил. И хорошо себя ведёт.

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Но, если он тут, шо тада

за отсталый педик сидит в Белом Доме?

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Да.

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Идёт.

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Господин президент, к вам прибыл

премьер-министр Канады.

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Господин президент, к чему эти тарифы для Канады?

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Вы что, диктатор с Ближнего Востока?

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Диктатор с Ближнего Востока?

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Да расслабься ты, мужик.

Я обычный американец. Угомонись.

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Народ Канады не потерпит такого обесценивания.

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Да хорош ныть. Хотите, чтобы я вас бомбил, как Ирак?

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Я думал, вы бомбили Иран.

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Иран, Ирак, какая в жопу разница. Расслабься.

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Эй! Это чё ещё за хренатень, дружок?

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Картина, которую вы заказали, сэр.

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А чё хер мелкий такой?

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Он такого же размера на фото.

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Выкиньте этого мужика! Я тя засужу!

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Обоих нахер засужу!

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Ни одной шутке спуску не дам!

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Приветик Сатана.

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Я сейчас не хочу.

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Чё ты? Давай расслабься.

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Сатана, я же весь день работал!

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Не работал ты.

Свои тупые мемы хреначил и хер пинал.

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Иди ко мне, парень. Давай, Сатана.

Против этого ты не устоишь.

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Ничего не вижу, он крошечный.

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Эй, я тя засужу нахрен!

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Бляха, иди ты нахрен!

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Ну хватит, Сатана. Не вредничай.

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Глянь-ка.

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ВОУКИЗМ МЁРТВ

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ТОЛЬКО МУЖЧИНЫ

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ТОЛЬКО ЖЕНЩИНЫ

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Эрик?

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Хватит, Эрик. Не надо себя так мучить.

00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:27,910

Я смеялся, Баттерс.

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И веселился. Но у меня это забрали.

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Я больше не особенный.

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Зачем я вообще существую?

00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,070

Эрик, ты это к чему?

00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,930

К тому, что это конец, Баттерс.

00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:47,280

Я убью себя.

00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:48,650

И тебя.

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Что? Меня?

00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:53,000

Групповое самоубийство, Баттерс.

00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:53,820

Покончим с этим.

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Нет, Эрик, послушай. Воукизм не мёртв.

00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:59,690

Он где-то есть и ждёт, чтобы вернуться.

00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,100

— Он не вернётся.

— Он точно ещё вернётся!

00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,670

Он как искорка, что разгорится вновь.

00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,190

Надо только подождать.

00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:11,090

Надеюсь ты прав, Баттерс.

Но если он не вернётся до вторника...

00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,210

я убью нас обоих.

00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,570

КАБИНЕТ ДИРЕКТОРА

00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,570

Мистер Марш, я вызвал вас,

00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:24,570

потому что вы против того,

что Иисус явился в школу.

00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,550

Ну, я не то чтобы против, просто это странно.

00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:35,100

Мистер Маки сказал, что вы оскорбляли Иисуса

и не дали сесть рядом в столовой.

00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:40,090

Я его не обижал.

Крейг сказал, что мест нет, так и было.

00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,750

Мистер Марш, он умер за ваши грехи и всех любит.

00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,080

Одна истина, один крест, один спаситель.

00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:46,810

И вы обретёте его в сердце своём.

00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:49,670

ПК Директор?

00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:51,240

Праведный Крещёный. Да?

00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:52,880

Что случилось?

00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:55,950

Что с чем случилось?

00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,960

Вы были такой весь прогрессивный.

00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,950

А с прошлого ноября стали вести себя странно.

00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,350

И теперь вы христианин.

00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:09,330

Просто я осознал, что сторона,

на которой я, — безнадёжна.

00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,720

А в безнадёжные времена люди обретают Христа.

00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,910

Придите ко нему все обременённые,

00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,130

— и Он успокоит вас. — И Я успокою вас.

00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,590

Блин, чё за фигня?

00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,180

Это вообще ненормально.

00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,980

Такого отношения в этой школе мы не потерпим!

00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,670

Мистер Марш, если не примете Христа, я вас исключу.

00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:31,020

Каким это образом? Такое вроде незаконно.

00:12:31,290 --> 00:12:33,440

Нет, Мистер Марш, теперь законно.

00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:36,610

Двадцать пятый год. Незаконного всё меньше.

00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:40,840

Я принимаю Христа в сердце.

00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:41,880

И в школе.

00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:43,670

И в школе.

00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,040

И за столом в столовой.

00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,960

Да там места не было, блин!

00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,440

И за столом в столовой.

00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:50,520

Ура.

00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,620

Верим в Христа!

00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,550

Мы возвращаем Христа!

00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:03,030

Христос — это бабки.

00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,560

Возвращаем Христа!

00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:12,540

Христос — это бабки.

00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:16,640

Христос — это бабки.

00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:21,070

Господин президент, многие их тех,

кто вас поддержал, теперь против.

00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,740

Скажи, чтоб они расслабились!

00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:26,040

Сэр, прошу, поговорите с ними, они просто в ярости.

00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,440

Ладно, дай сюда.

00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,360

Да расслабьтесь вы все там!

00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,920

Здрасьте, ты там совсем обалдел?

00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:35,790

Наших детей заставляют сидеть

с Иисусом на обеде!

00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,790

Друг мой, да ты расслабься.

00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,610

Протесты мне картину портят, отдохните идите!

00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,510

Хрена лысого мы будем отдыхать.

00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:46,110

Жители Южного Парка требуют ответов, нахрен.

00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,410

Вот как? Да я весь город засужу!

00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:50,670

Поняли? Пять миллиардов долларов!

00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:54,580

Что сказал?

00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,160

Что засудит нас на пять миллиардов долларов.

00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,170

Мудаки сраные, думают, могут на меня гнать?

00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,640

Э-эй, Сатана.

00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,610

Я сейчас не в настроении.

00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:14,120

Ещё одна сучка откоментила у меня в инсте,

что ты в списке Эпштейна.

00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,880

Список Эпштейна? Об этом ещё толкуют?

00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,730

Так ты в нём или нет?

00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:22,170

Каждый раз как заходит речь,

ты говоришь всем расслабиться.

00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:25,610

Не говорю я всем расслабиться, расслабься ты!

00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,160

Нет, надо к психологу сходить.

00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:32,350

Ты мне всё больше напоминаешь

того парня, с которым я встречался.

00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:34,840

Вы с ним ну вот вообще один в один.

00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:38,920

Я тебя люблю.

00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:42,700

Ну давай, Сатана.

00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:48,610

Ой, нет!

00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,380

Баттерс, милый, твой друг Картман пришёл.

00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,900

Сказал, что это вторник, и у вас планы.

00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,360

Эрик? Ой-ёй.

00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,210

А ты можешь сказать, что меня нет?

00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:05,530

Баттерс, нужно поддерживать отношения.

Иди поиграй с другом.

00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:08,360

Он в гараже играет со шлангом в нашей машине.

00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:10,170

Ой-ёй!

00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,250

Господи боже, Эрик!

00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,890

Баттерс, залезай.

00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,710

Эрик, нет! Вылезай из неё!

00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,340

Здесь закрыто, залезь с той стороны.

00:15:27,730 --> 00:15:29,550

— Эрик, не надо, прошу!

— Закрой дверь!

00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,020

— Не сдавайся!

— Газ выпускаешь, закрой!

00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:32,600

Хорошо!

00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,380

Не сдавайся, как остальные!

00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:36,540

Баттерс, это конец.

00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:39,040

Хочешь неделями медленно угасать?

00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:40,100

Ну, нет.

00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,990

И я не хочу! Долго слишком.

00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,360

На. Пристегнись. Наш последний заезд.

00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,130

Ну ладненько.

00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,520

Вдыхай, Баттерс.

00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:55,100

Нас ждёт воуканутый рай.

00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:56,390

Тогда за дело.

00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:05,580

Это шоу «Шестьдесят минут».

00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,680

Обалдеть. Охренеть.

00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:10,510

Господи боже.

00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:15,740

Городок Южный Парк, Колорадо,

протестует против президента.

00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:18,290

Жители заявили, что президент...

00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:19,610

А он отличный человек.

00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:20,470

Замечательный.

00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:21,210

Крутой мужик.

00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:22,660

Он наверняка смотрит.

00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,570

А мы только рассказываем,

00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:29,740

что президент подал в суд на город

в Колорадо, и они решили дать отпор.

00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,770

Ещё раз поясню, мы с ними не согласны.

00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:34,910

Нет, нет, мы думаем, что протестующие — дебилы.

00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:37,090

Джим Коннер с подробностями.

00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:38,620

ГОРОД В КОЛОРАДО ДАЁТ ОТПОР

00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:39,310

О Боже.

00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:43,450

Том, я с жителями,

которые выразили протест президенту.

00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:47,850

Всё началось с отца, который был недоволен

навязыванием Иисуса в школах.

00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:51,120

Юный Стэн Марш критикует политику президента.

00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,690

Не знаю, я не знаю, почему он его критикует.

00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,270

Наверное, он педик.

00:16:55,630 --> 00:16:59,250

Жители города говорят,

что ничего не должны президенту.

00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:01,880

Нам вообще никто указывать не смеет!

00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:07,010

Всем ясно, шо воканутость далеко зашла,

но обратная крайность эт не выход!

00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,730

Что плохого в том, чтобы сочувствовать людям?

00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:12,400

И заботиться о природе тоже хорошо.

00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:16,050

Семья Стотч горда тем, что ездит на электрокаре.

00:17:25,090 --> 00:17:27,140

Да уж, что-то очень долго.

00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:32,180

Человеческое тело изо всех сил

цепляется за жизнь в последние минуты.

00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:33,790

Думаю, ещё чуток.

00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:37,570

Обстановка накаляется в городке Южный Парк.

00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,570

Всё больше жителей объединяются против,

как они говорят, тирании президента.

00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:46,170

Жители говорят, что нельзя впадать в отчаянье.

00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:49,250

И что надо бороться за то, во что веришь.

00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,550

Нас ждут тяжкие испытания, народ.

00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,170

Но мы боремся за правду.

00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,640

И продолжим, даже если будем совсем одни!

00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,150

Нет, нам нет нужды бороться в одним! Смотрите!

00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,070

Это же Иисус!

00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,620

Давайте преломим хлеб! Преломите со мной хлеб!

00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,530

Это — тело Моё, которое Я отдаю за вас!

00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,120

Ешьте этот хлеб в память обо Мне.

00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,780

Молча ешьте хлеб и слушайте.

00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,090

Сам я не хотел в школу являться.

00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:39,180

Но пришлось, потому что это один из пунктов

судебного соглашения с «Парамаунт».

00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,070

Президент вас засудил?

00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:46,140

Мужик вообще творит,

что захочет после того, как кое-кто сдался.

00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,570

Ешьте хлеб, ешьте, ну!

00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,230

Видели, что стало с CBS?

00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,280

А угадайте, кто владеет CBS?

00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:54,310

«Парамаунт»!

00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,660

Хотите кончить как Кольбер?

00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:59,140

Перестаньте уже глупости делать!

00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,520

Мы тя не понимаем!

00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,760

Заткнитесь вы уже, или нас отменят, идиоты!

00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,170

Том, они назвали это Нагорной Проповедью.

00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:12,850

Сотни верующих стягиваются к месту,

00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:16,870

где Иисус Христос продолжает

нести миру слова мудрости.

00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:21,980

Человек с властью президента,

который может засудить любого и брать взятки,

00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,030

сойдёт с рук всё что угодно!

00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,960

Он же, сука, президент!

00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,120

Завалите нахер варежки, или Южному Парку конец.

00:19:30,190 --> 00:19:33,450

Всему жопа, остановитесь и заткнитесь сука!

00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:37,370

Д-да-да, сэр.

00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,530

Хорошо.

00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,100

Само собой.

00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:43,870

Спасибо, господин президент.

С радостью заплатим, сэр.

00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:47,510

Да, сэр, я... Я расслаблюсь и отдохну.

00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,960

Спасибо вам огромное, да.

00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,510

Всё, договорились.

00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,010

Договорились, слава Богу.

00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,050

Я договорился на три с половиной миллиона.

00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,620

Три с половиной? Не так страшно.

00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:03,520

Как по мне, очень справедливо.

00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:08,800

Придётся только урезать финансирование школ,

больниц и дорог, и мы соберём.

00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,660

Да. Хорошо. Отлично.

00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,660

Но только это не ещё всё.

00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:17,470

По соглашению мы ещё должны

прославлять идеи Трампа.

00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:20,700

И как мы вообще будем это делать?

00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,030

Хватит вам, народ, мы Южный Парк, мы сможем!

00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,480

Да. Да. Он прав!

00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,200

Будем работать вместе!

00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,250

Да! Да! За дело!

00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:31,320

СОЦИАЛЬНЫЙ РОЛИК ЗА ТРАМПА

ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК

00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:36,550

Кто ради вас прошёл через пустыню?

00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,410

Кто выжил в дикой жаре и принес наивысшую жертву?

00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:48,140

Когда ситуация накалится,

кто избавит нас от искушения?

00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,920

Дональд Джей Трамп.

00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,640

Неважно, какая настанет жара,

00:20:58,510 --> 00:21:00,860

он не побоится бороться за Америку.

00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:08,470

Он выжил в пустыне благодаря

стойкости, дисциплине и вере в Бога.

00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,210

Я Дональд Джей Трамп, и я это одобряю.

00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:24,120

Трамп...

00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:30,130

может, у него и крошечный пенис,

зато любовь к нам огромна.

00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:35,650

ОН НАС ПОНИМАЕТ (ДОСТАНЕТ). ВСЕХ НАС.

00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:39,230

ОНВСЕХТРАМПАНУЛ.COM

00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:47,060

Кажется, я ухожу.

00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,600

Сладкая смерть вот-вот придёт.

00:21:50,860 --> 00:21:51,740

Люблю тя, мужик.

00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:58,740

Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.

00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447

♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405

♪ Gonna have myself a time

00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976

♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675

♪ Ample parking day

or night ♪

00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678

♪ I'm headin' on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122

♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,484

Alexa, put on 90.1.

00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790

Got it.

00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,879

Now playing

radio station 90.1 FM.

00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,281

What the fuck?

00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,546

Mom, something's wrong

with my favorite show.

00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,852

It's just, like, static.

00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,157

Your favorite show?

00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,464

Yeah, NPR,

National Public Radio,

00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,770

where all the liberals bitch

and whine about stuff.

00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,118

Something's wrong with it.

00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,122

Oh, sweetie,

the president canceled NPR.

00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,951

What do you mean,

the president canceled NPR?

00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,299

That was, like,

the funniest shit ever.

00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,649

I don't know

what to tell you, hon.

00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,522

Oh, my God.

00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,741

You guys!

00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,047

You guys are not

gonna believe this.

00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,529

The president of the

United States canceled NPR.

00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,748

- What's NPR?

- What's NPR?

00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,314

The funniest show ever

where all the lesbians

00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751

and Jews complain about stuff?

00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,709

The fucking president

had it taken off the air!

00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,407

I mean, who the hell does

this president think he is?

00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,279

The government

can't cancel the show.

00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,151

I mean, what show are

they gonna cancel next?

00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,805

It was seriously the best show.

00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,633

It had, like,

gay rappers from Mexico all sad

00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,287

because girls in Pakistan

got stoned to death.

00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504

And guess why

they got stoned to death?

00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,811

'Cause they were raped!

00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,986

It was hilarious.

Why would anyone cancel that?

00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,162

I don't know about you,

but I'm worried about

00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,293

what this country's coming to.

00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,599

It seems like

everybody's changing

00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,426

and suddenly woke stuff

is off limits.

00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,994

I mean, it's like now

everyone rips on the Jews,

00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,951

and it's totally fine.

00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,127

Huh, Kyle?

00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,346

See?

00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,566

What's wrong with Kyle?

00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,175

Everybody's given up.

00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,655

Attention, students.

00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,659

There will be a mandatory

assembly this morning.

00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:20,922

All students report

to the gym, mkay?

00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,576

Oh, boy, PC Principal.

00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,231

He's not given up.

00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,409

All right, everyone,

listen up.

00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,540

Everybody, quiet!

00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,240

There's some bull crap

going on in this country,

00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,590

and I am not going to

let it corrupt

00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157

the environment at this school!

00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071

Oh, here we go.

00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,594

Now, I don't know about you,

but I'm sick and tired

00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,596

of the way people are treated

00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467

and mocked

for being compassionate.

00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,642

It is out of control!

00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,906

There's only one thing

that can bring some normality

00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,647

back to these corrupt times.

00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,779

And that is...

00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564

our Lord and Savior,

Jesus Christ.

00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,479

What?

00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,917

This school has traded truth

for comfort

00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,441

and worships idols of self

and sin.

00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,617

We were a nation under God,

but now we spit in His face

00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,401

and wonder why

everything's falling apart.

00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,620

There's only one way back--

00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,839

repent, bow to Christ,

00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,625

or be swept away with the

rest of the godless lies.

00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,671

What the hell, dude?

00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,673

In order to turn

things around,

00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,676

I'm going to be

a Power Christian Principal.

00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,069

You can call me PC Principal.

00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,464

So now, I'd like you all

to put your hands together

00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206

in welcoming Christ our Lord.

00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,428

Hello, my children.

00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,475

I am the light and the way.

00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,955

Fellas,

what the fuck is going on?

00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,349

Yea, it is wonderful

to be here,

00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,222

for where two or three

gather in my name,

00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,224

there am I with them.

00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,268

That's right!

00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530

That's right. Let's go, Jesus.

00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,792

Fuck yeah!

00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889

So how was your day, guys?

00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,239

Anything fun happen at school?

00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,892

No, not really.

00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,591

Uh, Jesus showed up.

00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,636

Jesus?

00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944

Yeah.

00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,251

What's Jesus doing

in your school?

00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687

I don't know.

00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,212

I don't think Jesus is

allowed to be in schools.

00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,041

Yeah, well, he was there.

00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,653

Well, I think I'm gonna have

to talk to somebody about this.

00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134

Hey, uh, how's it going?

00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,746

Um, is Jesus supposed to be

allowed in schools?

00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,577

Generally, the idea

is that public schools

00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,884

have to maintain a separation

of church and state,

00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,756

so they can't promote

any one religion.

00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,322

Yeah, that's what I thought.

00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,107

The government can't force

a religion on my son.

00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,719

Public schools

can teach about religions

00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677

in a neutral educational way,

00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,940

but they can't endorse

any particular one.

00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,682

Was it a lesson

on all world religions?

00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249

Uh, no.

00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,078

My son said that Jesus was

literally at his school.

00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,866

Then you're probably

right to be concerned.

00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173

It's good you're looking out

for your son's education.

00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,739

Thanks.

00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,957

It's really nice

to have someone

00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569

to talk to about all this.

00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,570

No worries.

00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,745

Let me know if there's

any other way I can help.

00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,747

I'm always here.

00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,444

You're so awesome. Thanks.

00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,360

Good night, honey.

00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,969

Have a great sleep,

00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,971

and I'm sure you'll do more

amazing things tomorrow.

00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,105

Ah.

00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,116

- Butters!

- Ahh!

00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,726

Butters, get over here.

00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,381

What did I tell you, man?

This shit is wack!

00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,861

PC Principal?

00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,210

If he's changed,

then there's no hope!

00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,300

I think I know

what's happening.

00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,780

I think woke is dead.

00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,566

Woke is dead?

00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,612

It's dead, Butters.

It's gone!

00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,789

You can just say retarded now.

Nobody cares.

00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,007

Everyone hates the Jews.

00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,053

Everyone's fine

with using gay slurs.

00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,446

Oh. Well, that's not good.

00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,230

No, it's terrible!

00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,797

'Cause now I don't know...

00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,408

what I'm supposed to do.

00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,982

Eric?

00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,250

More protests today

00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,033

as the government pushes

harder for Christianity

00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,861

in our nation's schools.

00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,560

The president stated earlier

today that the spirit of Jesus

00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,127

is important to our country,

00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,869

and he will sue anyone

who doesn't agree with him.

00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,263

What the hell is

this president doing?

00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,091

He doesn't even act

like a Christian.

00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,832

Why is he pushing it

on our kids?

00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,224

I told you

this was all gonna be bad,

00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,009

but a lot of you here

voted for him.

00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,445

Yeah, I voted for him,

00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,753

but all I've seen him do

is arrest and sue people.

00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,494

I voted for him to get rid

of all the woke stuff.

00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,627

But now that retarded faggot

is just putting money

00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:51,889

in his own pockets.

00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,063

- Yeah!

- That's right!

00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,500

Are we just gonna sit here

00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,067

and let him break every rule

of freedom?

00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,025

- No!

- No way!

00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287

Well, come on!

00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,374

Let's go get

that son of a bitch.

00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,334

Yeah!

00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,465

Yeah!

00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,597

Come on!

Come on, let's go get him!

00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295

Come on, let's get him!

00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,818

- Let's go get him!

- Come on, let's get him!

00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,257

Come on out,

you piece of shit.

00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,781

We're unelecting you.

00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,573

Excuse me. Do you mind?

00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,969

What the hell do you think

you're doing, Garrison?

00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,103

I'm not doing anything.

00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,843

Oh, so you haven't been

looting the country

00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,106

and ruling by fear

00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,108

like some Middle Eastern

tinpot dictator?

00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,981

No, I've been sitting here

00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809

watching "White Lotus"

with Rick.

00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,117

But you got re-elected.

00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,684

He hasn't been back

to Washington in years.

00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991

He gave all that up.

00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,340

He's been really good.

00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,474

But if he's here,

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,520

then who's the retarded faggot

00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,695

in the White House?

00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,484

Uh-huh.

00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,050

Yeah.

00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,878

OK.

00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577

Mr. President, sir,

the prime minister of Canada

00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,013

is here to see you.

00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,101

Mr. President,

why are you placing

00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,798

these new tariffs on Canada?

00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,061

What are you, some kind of

dictator from the Middle East?

00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,239

A dictator from

the Middle East?

00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,981

Hey, relax, guy.

00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,462

I'm just your average Joe.

Take a rest.

00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,986

The people of Canada will

not be devalued like this.

00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,466

Aw, come on.

00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,685

You don't want me to bomb you

like I did Iraq.

00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,774

I thought you

just bombed Iran.

00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,297

Iran, Iraq--what the hell's

the difference?

00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,821

Relax, guy.

00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999

Hey! Hey!

00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653

What the fuck is this, buddy?

00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,264

This is the painting

you asked for, sir.

00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,961

Why is my dick so small?

00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,354

But that's the size it is

in the photo.

00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,747

Get this guy out of here!

00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,922

I'm gonna sue you!

00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,271

I'm gonna sue both of you.

00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,317

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,802

Nobody makes fun of me

and gets away with it.

00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371

Hey, Satan!

00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,765

I don't want to right now.

00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,941

What? Hey, relax.

00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,987

Come on, Satan.

I've been working hard all day.

00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,684

You haven't been working.

00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,860

You've been doing your stupid

memes and just fuckin' around.

00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209

Come here, guy.

00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,646

Aw, come on, Satan.

00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,560

You know you can't resist this.

00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,520

I can't even see anything,

it's so small.

00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,175

Hey! I'll fucking sue you!

00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,220

God, fuck you!

00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,525

Aw, come on, Satan.

00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,701

Don't be like that.

00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,924

Eric?

00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,145

Come on, Eric.

00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,495

You--you can't keep

doing this to yourself.

00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,498

I used to laugh, Butters.

00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,455

I used to have fun.

00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197

But now

they've taken that away.

00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,506

I'm not special anymore.

00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,901

So what's the point

in me even existing?

00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,466

Eric, what are you saying?

00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,906

I'm saying that

it's the end, Butters.

00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734

I'm gonna kill myself,

00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,257

and you.

00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,258

Wait, me?

00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,825

It's a suicide pact, Butters.

00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,043

It's just best we end it now.

00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,263

No, Eric, listen to me.

00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,872

Woke isn't dead.

00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,527

It's still out there,

somewhere,

00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,224

just waiting to come back.

00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,704

- It's not coming back.

- It's waiting to come back!

00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,925

It's like a little tiny light

that's gonna shine again.

00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,447

You just gotta give it

some time.

00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,276

I hope you're right, Butters.

00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,279

But if it doesn't come back

by, like, Tuesday,

00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,673

I'm killing us both.

00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:21,070

Mr. Marsh, I've called you

into my office

00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,072

because I understand

that you have a problem

00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,510

with Jesus in our schools.

00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,557

I don't have a problem

with it.

00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,167

I mean, I think

it's kind of weird.

00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,213

Well, Mr. Mackey says

you were bullying Jesus

00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:36,346

and wouldn't let him sit at

your table in the cafeteria.

00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,132

What? I didn't bully him.

00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,569

Craig told him our table

was full, which it was.

00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,005

Mr. Marsh, Christ died for

your sins, and he loves us all.

00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,574

There's only one truth,

one cross, and one savior.

00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,271

And you will find him

in your heart.

00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,925

PC Principal?

00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,798

Power Christian Principal, yes?

00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,016

What happened?

00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890

What--what happened

with what?

00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,935

Well, you used to be,

like, super woke.

00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545

And then starting

last November,

00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,111

you started acting weird.

00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,592

And now you're super Christian.

00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:10,033

I just realized that the

side I was on was hopeless.

00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,948

And in times of hopelessness,

one finds Christ.

00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,037

Come to him,

all who are heavy laden,

00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,388

and he shall give you rest.

- And I shall give you rest.

00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,825

Dude, what's going on?

00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,217

Like, none of this

seems normal.

00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,565

That's the kind of attitude

00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,393

we are not gonna tolerate

at this school!

00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,395

And, Mr. Marsh,

if you don't accept Christ,

00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921

then I'm gonna have

to expel you.

00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,836

K, I'm pretty sure

you can't do that.

00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,358

Like, I think that's illegal.

00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,316

No, Mr. Marsh,

it's not illegal anymore.

00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,362

This is 2025, K?

00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,625

And not much is illegal.

00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,803

I accept Christ

into my heart.

00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544

And into your school.

00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850

And in my school.

00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,242

And at your table

in the cafeteria.

00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,854

There wasn't any room

at my table--ah.

00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,769

And at my table

in the cafeteria.

00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,032

Yay.

00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,425

♪ Oh! ♪

00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,426

♪ Faith in Christ ♪

00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,387

♪ We're bringing back Christ ♪

00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,216

♪ There's money in Christ ♪

00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,220

♪ Bringing back Christ

00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,615

♪ Christ makes the money ♪

00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,098

♪ Christ makes the money

00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,404

♪ Christ makes the money ♪

00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,450

Mr. President,

a lot of your supporters

00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,887

are starting

to turn against you.

00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,932

Hey, tell them

to take a rest.

00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,673

Sir, can you

please talk to them?

00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,413

They're really riled up.

00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,676

All right, give me that.

00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677

Hey, relax, guys.

00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,159

Yeah, hi, uh, what do you

think you're doing?

00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,464

Our children are being told

that they have to sit

00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,989

with Jesus at lunchtime.

00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991

Listen, buddy,

you just need to relax.

00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,470

All this protesting

makes me look bad.

00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,994

Just take a rest.

00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,909

Well, no, we're not

gonna give it a rest.

00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,431

All the people here

in South Park

00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,347

want some goddamn answers.

00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,609

All right, then I'm

gonna sue your whole town.

00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,873

You got that? $5 billion.

00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,614

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,486

What'd he say?

00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,924

He said he's suing us

for $5 billion.

00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928

Fucking stupid idiots.

00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,798

Think they can

mess with me, huh?

00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,151

Hey, Satan.

00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,109

I'm not in the mood

right now.

00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,676

Another random bitch

commented on my Instagram

00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,375

that you're on

the Epstein list.

00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,679

The Epstein list?

00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,117

Are we still

talking "aboot" that?

00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,032

Well, are you on

the list or not?

00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,684

It's weird that

whenever it comes up,

00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,513

you just tell everyone

to relax.

00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,427

I'm not telling

everyone to relax.

00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126

Relax, guy!

00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,606

No, I need counseling.

00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,520

You remind me more and more

of this other guy

00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523

I used to date, like, a lot.

00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,047

Like, you guys

are exactly alike.

00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,095

I love you.

00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489

Ugh.

00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,230

Come on, Satan.

00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,669

Vroom!

Pew!

00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,844

Oh, no!

00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,410

Vroom!

00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,804

Butters, honey, your little

friend Cartman is here.

00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,110

He said it's Tuesday,

and you guys have plans.

00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,548

Eric?

00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,940

Oh, no.

00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,378

Well, um, can you

tell him I'm not home?

00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,120

Butters, don't be antisocial.

00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,861

Go play with your friend.

00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646

He's out in the garage playing

in our car with a hose.

00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:10,561

Oh, no!

00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742

Oh, God, Eric!

00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,006

Hey, Butters, come on in.

00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399

Eric, no! Get out of there!

00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,357

That side's locked, Butters.

00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,924

You gotta get on

the other side.

00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,276

Eric, you don't

have to do this!

00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,233

- Close the door, Butters!

- You can't give up--

00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,364

You're letting

all the fumes out!

00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,540

Shut the fucking door!

- OK, fine!

00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,369

You can't just give up

like everyone else has.

00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,631

Butters, it's over.

00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,892

You really wanna

sit around for weeks

00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,589

waiting for a slow demise?

00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,113

- Well, no.

- Well, neither do I!

00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,462

This is taking too long.

00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031

Here you go, Butters.

00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,684

Buckle up.

We're in for the last ride.

00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,122

All right, fine.

00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,822

Suck it in, Butters.

00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,388

We're heading for that

big woke kingdom in the sky.

00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,955

OK, then.

00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,529

This is "60 Minutes."

00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,965

Oh, boy.

00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,141

Oh, shit.

00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,448

Uh, oh, God.

00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,929

The small town

of South Park, Colorado

00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,365

is protesting against

the president.

00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,411

The townspeople claim

that the president--

00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,978

who is a great man--

00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415

- A great man.

- Great guy.

00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,894

We know he's probably watching.

00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,419

And, uh, we are just reporting

on this town in Colorado

00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248

that's being sued

by the president

00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,031

and they are fighting back.

00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,728

And just to be clear,

we don't agree with them.

00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122

No, no, no, no.

00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,081

We think these protesters

are total retards.

00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,300

But our own Jim Conner

has more.

00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,650

Uh--oh, God.

00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,174

Uh--uh, Tom, I'm here

with the townspeople

00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654

speaking out against

the president.

00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,743

It all started

when a father got upset

00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,484

that Jesus was being forced

on his son at school.

00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,009

Young Stan Marsh is questioning

the president's policies.

00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,707

I don't know.

00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:53,969

You know, I don't know why

he's questioning the president.

00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884

He's probably

a faggot or something.

00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,496

But the townspeople say they

owe the president nothing.

00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,325

We aren't gonna be told

what to do by anyone.

00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,545

We all know

the woke stuff went too far,

00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,330

but the answer isn't going

too far the other way.

00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,159

It's not a bad thing to have

a little compassion for people.

00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,988

It's not a bad thing to care

a little for the environment.

00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,468

The Stotch family

is proud to say

00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,818

that we own an electric car.

00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,871

Boy, this sure is

taking a long time.

00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,353

Yeah, the human body

does everything it can

00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,659

in the final stages

to try and cling to life.

00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,575

Shouldn't be much longer now.

00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,924

Things are really heating up

00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,752

in the small town

of South Park.

00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,668

More and more citizens

are uniting in solidarity

00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,539

against what they call

the president's oppression.

00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,281

The townspeople are saying

things are never hopeless,

00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,110

that they must

all stand strong

00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,372

for what they believe in.

00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766

We're in this

for the long haul, guys.

00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,594

This is about what's right.

00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,293

And we will fight, even

if we have to do it alone.

00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,471

Wait, we don't

have to do it alone.

00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,691

Look!

00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,652

It's Jesus!

00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,355

Let us break bread.

00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835

Break bread with me.

00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,273

This is my body, given for you.

00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,928

Do this in remembrance of me.

00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,891

Now just eat the bread,

and listen.

00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,461

I didn't wanna come back

and be in the school,

00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,420

but I had to because it

was part of a lawsuit

00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,466

and the agreement

with Paramount.

00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,424

The president's suing you?

00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,339

The guy can

do whatever he wants now

00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,212

that someone backed down, OK?

00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,778

Eat the bread.

Eat the bread.

00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,346

You guys saw

what happened to CBS?

00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,393

Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?

00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,002

Paramount!

00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,005

Do you really wanna end up

like Colbert?

00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,182

You guys gotta stop

being stupid.

00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228

We can't understand you.

00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,532

Just shut up,

00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,014

or we're going to get canceled,

you idiots.

00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,449

What the hell is he saying?

00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540

Tom, they're calling it

the Sermon on the Mount.

00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,673

Hundreds of South Park faithful

are flocking to the area

00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:17,459

where Jesus Christ continues

to speak his words of wisdom.

00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,506

If someone

has the power of the presidency

00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,291

and also has the power

to sue and take bribes,

00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,380

then he can do

anything to anyone!

00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,469

It's the fucking president, dude.

00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,169

All of you, shut the fuck up,

or South Park is over.

00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605

It's fucking over.

00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737

Just stop

and shut the fuck up.

00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,697

Ye--yes, sir.

00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,351

OK.

00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,831

Absolutely.

00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,398

Yes, thank you, Mr. President.

00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,356

We'll be happy

to pay that, sir.

00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,574

Yes, sir. I--

00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230

I will relax,

and I'll take a rest.

00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,187

Yes, thank you.

00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,319

Thank you very much.

00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,626

OK, we settled.

00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,976

Oh, we settled.

00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,281

Thank God.

00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,372

I got the president down

to $3.5 million.

00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,808

$3.5 million?

That's--that's not so bad.

00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,680

That's really fair.

I think that's fair.

00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334

We'll just have to cut

some funding

00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,857

for our schools

and hospitals and roads,

00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,642

and that should be that.

- Yeah.

00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,861

OK.

00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,081

Yeah, well,

that's not quite all.

00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,518

As part of the settlement,

we also had to agree

00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,694

to doing pro-Trump messaging.

00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,870

How are we supposed to do

pro-Trump messaging?

00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,220

Oh, come on, guys.

00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,265

We're South Park!

00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484

We can do it.

00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,920

- Yeah. All right.

- He's right.

00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,878

- We just gotta work together.

- Yeah!

00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,444

- All right!

- Yeah! Yeah!

00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,018

Who walked

through the desert for you?

00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501

Who survived the wilderness

00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,591

and gave

the ultimate sacrifice?

00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:48,420

When things heat up, who will

deliver us from temptation?

00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,295

Donald J. Trump.

00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:58,561

No matter how hot it gets,

00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,130

he's not afraid

to fight for America.

00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,961

With conviction, discipline,

and trust in God,

00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,441

he survived the desert.

00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,280

I'm Donald J. Trump,

and I endorse this message.

00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,022

Trump--

00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,503

his penis is teeny tiny,

00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,332

but his love for us is large.

00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,176

Oh, I think I might be going.

00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,570

Yep, sweet

death is about to come.

00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,527

I love you, man.

00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:12,142

[theme music]

00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,447

- ♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,405

♪ Gonna have myself a time

00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,886

- ♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,757

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:19,976

- ♪ I'm goin' down

to South Park ♪

00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:21,890

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675

- ♪ Ample parking day

or night ♪

00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,460

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor" ♪

00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,678

- ♪ I'm headin' on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,811

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:32,074

- ♪ [mumbling] ♪

00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,293

- ♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,122

♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,997

[guitar strumming]

00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,392

[alarm blares]

00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,047

[yawns]

00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,484

Alexa, put on 90.1.

00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,790

ALEXA: Got it.

00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,879

Now playing

radio station 90.1 FM.

00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:58,232

[radio static drones]

00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,281

- What the fuck?

00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,546

Mom, something's wrong

with my favorite show.

00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,852

It's just, like, static.

00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:11,157

- Your favorite show?

00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,464

Yeah, NPR,

National Public Radio,

00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:14,770

where all the liberals bitch

and whine about stuff.

00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,118

Something's wrong with it.

00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:20,122

- Oh, sweetie,

the president canceled NPR.

00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,951

- What do you mean,

the president canceled NPR?

00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,299

That was, like,

the funniest shit ever.

00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,649

- I don't know

what to tell you, hon.

00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,522

- Oh, my God.

00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,741

You guys!

00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,047

You guys are not

gonna believe this.

00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,529

The president of the

United States canceled NPR.

00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,748

- [muffled] What's NPR?

- What's NPR?

00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,314

The funniest show ever

where all the lesbians

00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751

and Jews complain about stuff?

00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,709

The fucking president

had it taken off the air!

00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,407

I mean, who the hell does

this president think he is?

00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,279

The government

can't cancel the show.

00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,151

I mean, what show are

they gonna cancel next?

00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,805

It was seriously the best show.

00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,633

It had, like,

gay rappers from Mexico all sad

00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,287

because girls in Pakistan

got stoned to death.

00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504

And guess why

they got stoned to death?

00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,811

'Cause they were raped!

00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,986

It was hilarious.

Why would anyone cancel that?

00:01:57,987 --> 00:01:59,162

I don't know about you,

but I'm worried about

00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,293

what this country's coming to.

00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,599

It seems like

everybody's changing

00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,426

and suddenly woke stuff

is off limits.

00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,994

I mean, it's like now

everyone rips on the Jews,

00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,951

and it's totally fine.

00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,127

Huh, Kyle?

00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,346

See?

00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,566

What's wrong with Kyle?

00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,175

Everybody's given up.

00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,655

MR. MACKEY [ON INTERCOM]:

Attention, students.

00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,659

There will be a mandatory

assembly this morning.

00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:20,922

All students report

to the gym, mkay?

00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,576

- Oh, boy, PC Principal.

00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,231

He's not given up.

00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:27,015

[lively chatter]

00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,409

- All right, everyone,

listen up.

00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,540

Everybody, quiet!

00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:31,890

[chatter stops]

00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,240

There's some bull crap

going on in this country,

00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,590

and I am not going to

let it corrupt

00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157

the environment at this school!

00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071

- Oh, here we go.

00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,594

- Now, I don't know about you,

but I'm sick and tired

00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,596

of the way people are treated

00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,467

and mocked

for being compassionate.

00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,642

It is out of control!

00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,906

There's only one thing

that can bring some normality

00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,647

back to these corrupt times.

00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,779

And that is...

00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564

our Lord and Savior,

Jesus Christ.

00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,479

- What?

00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,917

This school has traded truth

for comfort

00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,441

and worships idols of self

and sin.

00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,617

We were a nation under God,

but now we spit in His face

00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,401

and wonder why

everything's falling apart.

00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,620

There's only one way back--

00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,839

repent, bow to Christ,

00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,625

or be swept away with the

rest of the godless lies.

00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,671

- What the hell, dude?

00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,673

- In order to turn

things around,

00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,676

I'm going to be

a Power Christian Principal.

00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:21,069

You can call me PC Principal.

00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:23,464

So now, I'd like you all

to put your hands together

00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206

in welcoming Christ our Lord.

00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,644

[ethereal music]

00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,428

- Hello, my children.

00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,475

I am the light and the way.

00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,955

Fellas,

what the fuck is going on?

00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,349

- Yea, it is wonderful

to be here,

00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,222

for where two or three

gather in my name,

00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,224

there am I with them.

00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,268

- That's right!

00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530

That's right. Let's go, Jesus.

00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:47,792

Fuck yeah!

00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,102

[dishes clinking]

00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:57,889

- So how was your day, guys?

00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,239

Anything fun happen at school?

00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,892

- No, not really.

00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,591

Uh, Jesus showed up.

00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,636

- Jesus?

00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,944

- Yeah.

00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,251

- What's Jesus doing

in your school?

00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,687

- I don't know.

00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,212

- I don't think Jesus is

allowed to be in schools.

00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,041

- Yeah, well, he was there.

00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:23,653

- Well, I think I'm gonna have

to talk to somebody about this.

00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134

Hey, uh, how's it going?

00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:28,746

Um, is Jesus supposed to be

allowed in schools?

00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:32,532

[ChatGPT typing]

00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,577

CHATGPT: Generally, the idea

is that public schools

00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,884

have to maintain a separation

of church and state,

00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,756

so they can't promote

any one religion.

00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,322

- Yeah, that's what I thought.

00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,107

The government can't force

a religion on my son.

00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,719

CHATGPT: Public schools

can teach about religions

00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,677

in a neutral educational way,

00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,940

but they can't endorse

any particular one.

00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,682

Was it a lesson

on all world religions?

00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:53,249

- Uh, no.

00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,078

My son said that Jesus was

literally at his school.

00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:59,429

[ChatGPT typing]

00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,866

CHATGPT: Then you're probably

right to be concerned.

00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,173

It's good you're looking out

for your son's education.

00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,739

- [chuckles] Thanks.

00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,957

It's really nice

to have someone

00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,569

to talk to about all this.

00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,570

CHATGPT: No worries.

00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,745

Let me know if there's

any other way I can help.

00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:12,747

I'm always here.

00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,444

- You're so awesome. Thanks.

00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,360

Good night, honey.

00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,969

CHATGPT: Have a great sleep,

00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,971

and I'm sure you'll do more

amazing things tomorrow.

00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,105

[farts]

- Ah.

00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,325

[school bell rings]

00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,544

[indistinct chatter]

00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,504

[ethereal music]

00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,116

- Butters!

- Ahh!

00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,726

- Butters, get over here.

00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,381

What did I tell you, man?

This shit is wack!

00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,861

PC Principal?

00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,210

If he's changed,

then there's no hope!

00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,300

I think I know

what's happening.

00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,780

I think woke is dead.

00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,086

[ominous music]

00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,566

- Woke is dead?

00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,612

- It's dead, Butters.

It's gone!

00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,789

You can just say retarded now.

Nobody cares.

00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,007

Everyone hates the Jews.

00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,053

Everyone's fine

with using gay slurs.

00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,446

- Oh. Well, that's not good.

00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,230

- No, it's terrible!

00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,797

'Cause now I don't know...

00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,408

what I'm supposed to do.

00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,193

[soft music]

00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:11,761

♪ ♪

00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,982

- Eric?

00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:19,987

♪ ♪

00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,250

REPORTER [ON TV]:

More protests today

00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,033

as the government pushes

harder for Christianity

00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,861

in our nation's schools.

00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,560

The president stated earlier

today that the spirit of Jesus

00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,127

is important to our country,

00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,869

and he will sue anyone

who doesn't agree with him.

00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,263

- What the hell is

this president doing?

00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,091

He doesn't even act

like a Christian.

00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,832

Why is he pushing it

on our kids?

00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,224

- I told you

this was all gonna be bad,

00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,009

but a lot of you here

voted for him.

00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,445

- Yeah, I voted for him,

00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,753

but all I've seen him do

is arrest and sue people.

00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,494

- I voted for him to get rid

of all the woke stuff.

00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,627

But now that retarded faggot

is just putting money

00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:51,889

in his own pockets.

00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,063

- Yeah!

- That's right!

00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,500

- Are we just gonna sit here

00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,067

and let him break every rule

of freedom?

00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,025

- No!

- No way!

00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287

- Well, come on!

00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,374

Let's go get

that son of a bitch.

00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,334

Yeah!

[crowd clamoring]

00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,465

[glass shattering]

- Yeah!

00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,597

Come on!

Come on, let's go get him!

00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,295

- Come on, let's get him!

00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,818

- Let's go get him!

- Come on, let's get him!

00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,646

[pounding on door]

00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,257

- Come on out,

you piece of shit.

00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,781

We're unelecting you.

00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,220

[clamoring stops]

00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,573

- Excuse me. Do you mind?

00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,969

- What the hell do you think

you're doing, Garrison?

00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,103

- I'm not doing anything.

00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:33,843

- Oh, so you haven't been

looting the country

00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,106

and ruling by fear

00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,108

like some Middle Eastern

tinpot dictator?

00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,981

- No, I've been sitting here

00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809

watching "White Lotus"

with Rick.

00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,117

- But you got re-elected.

00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,684

- He hasn't been back

to Washington in years.

00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,991

He gave all that up.

00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,340

He's been really good.

00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,474

- But if he's here,

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,520

then who's the retarded faggot

00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,695

in the White House?

00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:03,134

[lively string music]

00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,484

MAN: Uh-huh.

00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,050

Yeah.

00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,878

OK.

00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577

- Mr. President, sir,

the prime minister of Canada

00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,013

is here to see you.

00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,101

- Mr. President,

why are you placing

00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,798

these new tariffs on Canada?

00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,061

What are you, some kind of

dictator from the Middle East?

00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,324

♪

00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,239

- A dictator from

the Middle East?

00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,981

Hey, relax, guy.

00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,462

I'm just your average Joe.

Take a rest.

00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,986

- The people of Canada will

not be devalued like this.

00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,466

- Aw, come on.

00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,685

You don't want me to bomb you

like I did Iraq.

00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,774

- I thought you

just bombed Iran.

00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,297

Iran, Iraq--what the hell's

the difference?

00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,821

Relax, guy.

00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,520

[humming happily]

00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999

Hey! Hey!

00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,653

What the fuck is this, buddy?

00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,264

- This is the painting

you asked for, sir.

00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,961

- Why is my dick so small?

00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,354

- But that's the size it is

in the photo.

00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,747

- Get this guy out of here!

00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:52,922

I'm gonna sue you!

00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,271

I'm gonna sue both of you.

00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,317

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,802

Nobody makes fun of me

and gets away with it.

00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,371

Hey, Satan!

00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,765

- I don't want to right now.

00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,941

- What? Hey, relax.

00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,987

Come on, Satan.

I've been working hard all day.

00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,684

- You haven't been working.

00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,860

You've been doing your stupid

memes and just fuckin' around.

00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209

- Come here, guy.

00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,646

Aw, come on, Satan.

00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,560

You know you can't resist this.

00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,213

♪

00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,520

- I can't even see anything,

it's so small.

00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,175

- Hey! I'll fucking sue you!

00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,220

- God, fuck you!

00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,525

- Aw, come on, Satan.

00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,701

Don't be like that.

00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,695

- [sighs deeply]

00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,351

[ducks quacking]

00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,924

- Eric?

00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,145

Come on, Eric.

00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,495

You--you can't keep

doing this to yourself.

00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,498

- I used to laugh, Butters.

00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,455

I used to have fun.

00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197

But now

they've taken that away.

00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,506

I'm not special anymore.

00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,901

So what's the point

in me even existing?

00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,466

- Eric, what are you saying?

00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,906

- I'm saying that

it's the end, Butters.

00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,734

I'm gonna kill myself,

00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,257

and you.

00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,258

- Wait, me?

00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,825

- It's a suicide pact, Butters.

00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,043

It's just best we end it now.

00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,263

- No, Eric, listen to me.

00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,872

Woke isn't dead.

00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,527

It's still out there,

somewhere,

00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,224

just waiting to come back.

00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,704

- It's not coming back.

- It's waiting to come back!

00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,925

It's like a little tiny light

that's gonna shine again.

00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,447

You just gotta give it

some time.

00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:07,622

- [sighs]

00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,276

I hope you're right, Butters.

00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,279

But if it doesn't come back

by, like, Tuesday,

00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,673

I'm killing us both.

00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:21,070

- Mr. Marsh, I've called you

into my office

00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,072

because I understand

that you have a problem

00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,510

with Jesus in our schools.

00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,642

[ethereal music]

00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,557

- I don't have a problem

with it.

00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,167

I mean, I think

it's kind of weird.

00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,213

- Well, Mr. Mackey says

you were bullying Jesus

00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:36,346

and wouldn't let him sit at

your table in the cafeteria.

00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,132

- What? I didn't bully him.

00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,569

Craig told him our table

was full, which it was.

00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,005

- Mr. Marsh, Christ died for

your sins, and he loves us all.

00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,574

There's only one truth,

one cross, and one savior.

00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,271

And you will find him

in your heart.

00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:49,925

- PC Principal?

00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,798

- Power Christian Principal, yes?

00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,016

- What happened?

00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890

- What--what happened

with what?

00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,935

- Well, you used to be,

like, super woke.

00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545

And then starting

last November,

00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,111

you started acting weird.

00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,592

And now you're super Christian.

00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:10,033

- I just realized that the

side I was on was hopeless.

00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,948

And in times of hopelessness,

one finds Christ.

00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:15,037

Come to him,

all who are heavy laden,

00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:17,388

and he shall give you rest.

- And I shall give you rest.

00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,825

- Dude, what's going on?

00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,217

Like, none of this

seems normal.

00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,565

- That's the kind of attitude

00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,393

we are not gonna tolerate

at this school!

00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,395

And, Mr. Marsh,

if you don't accept Christ,

00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921

then I'm gonna have

to expel you.

00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,836

- K, I'm pretty sure

you can't do that.

00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,358

Like, I think that's illegal.

00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,316

- No, Mr. Marsh,

it's not illegal anymore.

00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,362

This is 2025, K?

00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,625

And not much is illegal.

00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:40,803

- I accept Christ

into my heart.

00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544

- And into your school.

00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,850

- And in my school.

00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,242

- And at your table

in the cafeteria.

00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,854

- There wasn't any room

at my table--ah.

00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,769

And at my table

in the cafeteria.

00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,032

- Yay.

00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,033

[upbeat funky music]

00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,425

- ♪ Oh! ♪

00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,426

♪ Faith in Christ ♪

00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,689

♪ ♪

00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,387

♪ We're bringing back Christ ♪

00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,432

♪ ♪

00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,216

♪ There's money in Christ ♪

00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,218

♪

00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,220

♪ Bringing back Christ

00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:10,224

♪

00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,615

♪ Christ makes the money ♪

00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:15,098

♪ Christ makes the money

00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,404

♪ Christ makes the money ♪

00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:17,666

♪ ♪

00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,450

- Mr. President,

a lot of your supporters

00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,887

are starting

to turn against you.

00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,932

- Hey, tell them

to take a rest.

00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,673

- Sir, can you

please talk to them?

00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,413

They're really riled up.

00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,676

- All right, give me that.

00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,677

Hey, relax, guys.

00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,159

- Yeah, hi, uh, what do you

think you're doing?

00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,464

Our children are being told

that they have to sit

00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,989

with Jesus at lunchtime.

00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991

- Listen, buddy,

you just need to relax.

00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,470

All this protesting

makes me look bad.

00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,994

Just take a rest.

00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,909

- Well, no, we're not

gonna give it a rest.

00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,431

All the people here

in South Park

00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:46,347

want some goddamn answers.

00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,609

- All right, then I'm

gonna sue your whole town.

00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,873

You got that? $5 billion.

00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,614

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,486

- What'd he say?

00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,924

- He said he's suing us

for $5 billion.

00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928

- Fucking stupid idiots.

00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,798

Think they can

mess with me, huh?

00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:06,583

[lively string music]

00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,151

Hey, Satan.

00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,109

- I'm not in the mood

right now.

00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,676

Another random bitch

commented on my Instagram

00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,375

that you're on

the Epstein list.

00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,679

- The Epstein list?

00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,117

Are we still

talking "aboot" that?

00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,032

- Well, are you on

the list or not?

00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,684

It's weird that

whenever it comes up,

00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,513

you just tell everyone

to relax.

00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,427

- I'm not telling

everyone to relax.

00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,126

Relax, guy!

00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:28,606

- No, I need counseling.

00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,520

You remind me more and more

of this other guy

00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523

I used to date, like, a lot.

00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,047

Like, you guys

are exactly alike.

00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:38,094

♪

00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,095

- I love you.

00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,489

- Ugh.

00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,230

Come on, Satan.

00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,669

- Vroom!

Pew!

00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,844

Oh, no!

00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,410

[imitating explosion]

Vroom!

00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,804

- Butters, honey, your little

friend Cartman is here.

00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,110

He said it's Tuesday,

and you guys have plans.

00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,547

[ominous music]

00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,548

Eric?

00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,940

Oh, no.

00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,378

Well, um, can you

tell him I'm not home?

00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,120

- Butters, don't be antisocial.

00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,861

Go play with your friend.

00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,646

He's out in the garage playing

in our car with a hose.

00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:10,561

- Oh, no!

00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742

Oh, God, Eric!

00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,006

- Hey, Butters, come on in.

00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,399

- Eric, no! Get out of there!

00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,357

- That side's locked, Butters.

00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,924

You gotta get on

the other side.

00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,276

- Eric, you don't

have to do this!

00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,233

- Close the door, Butters!

- You can't give up--

00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,364

- You're letting

all the fumes out!

00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,540

Shut the fucking door!

- OK, fine!

00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,369

You can't just give up

like everyone else has.

00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,631

- Butters, it's over.

00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,892

You really wanna

sit around for weeks

00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,589

waiting for a slow demise?

00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,113

- Well, no.

- Well, neither do I!

00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,462

This is taking too long.

00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,680

[inhaling]

00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031

Here you go, Butters.

00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,684

Buckle up.

We're in for the last ride.

00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,122

- All right, fine.

00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,732

[inhaling]

00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,822

- Suck it in, Butters.

00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,388

We're heading for that

big woke kingdom in the sky.

00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,955

- OK, then.

00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:57,957

[inhales]

00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,831

[clock ticking]

00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,529

HOST: This is "60 Minutes."

00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,965

Oh, boy.

00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,141

Oh, shit.

00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,448

Uh, oh, God.

00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,929

The small town

of South Park, Colorado

00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,365

is protesting against

the president.

00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,411

The townspeople claim

that the president--

00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,978

who is a great man--

00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415

- A great man.

- Great guy.

00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,894

We know he's probably watching.

00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,419

And, uh, we are just reporting

on this town in Colorado

00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248

that's being sued

by the president

00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,031

and they are fighting back.

00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,728

- And just to be clear,

we don't agree with them.

00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,122

- No, no, no, no.

00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,081

We think these protesters

are total retards.

00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,300

But our own Jim Conner

has more.

00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,650

- Uh--oh, God.

00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,174

Uh--uh, Tom, I'm here

with the townspeople

00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654

speaking out against

the president.

00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,743

It all started

when a father got upset

00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,484

that Jesus was being forced

on his son at school.

00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:51,009

Young Stan Marsh is questioning

the president's policies.

00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,707

I don't know.

00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:53,969

You know, I don't know why

he's questioning the president.

00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884

He's probably

a faggot or something.

00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:59,496

But the townspeople say they

owe the president nothing.

00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,325

- We aren't gonna be told

what to do by anyone.

00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,545

- We all know

the woke stuff went too far,

00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,330

but the answer isn't going

too far the other way.

00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:10,159

- It's not a bad thing to have

a little compassion for people.

00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,988

It's not a bad thing to care

a little for the environment.

00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,468

The Stotch family

is proud to say

00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,818

that we own an electric car.

00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,651

- [sighs deeply]

00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,871

- Boy, this sure is

taking a long time.

00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:30,353

- Yeah, the human body

does everything it can

00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,659

in the final stages

to try and cling to life.

00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,575

Shouldn't be much longer now.

00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:35,924

JIM CONNER:

Things are really heating up

00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,752

in the small town

of South Park.

00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,668

More and more citizens

are uniting in solidarity

00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,539

against what they call

the president's oppression.

00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:46,281

The townspeople are saying

things are never hopeless,

00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,110

that they must

all stand strong

00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,372

for what they believe in.

00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,766

- We're in this

for the long haul, guys.

00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,594

This is about what's right.

00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,293

And we will fight, even

if we have to do it alone.

00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,340

[fireworks exploding]

00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,471

- Wait, we don't

have to do it alone.

00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:03,691

Look!

00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:06,911

[cheering]

00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,652

It's Jesus!

00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:11,306

[cheering]

00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,918

[ethereal music]

00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,355

- Let us break bread.

00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,835

Break bread with me.

00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,273

This is my body, given for you.

00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,928

Do this in remembrance of me.

00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,891

Now just eat the bread,

and listen.

00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,461

I didn't wanna come back

and be in the school,

00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,420

but I had to because it

was part of a lawsuit

00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,466

and the agreement

with Paramount.

00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,424

- The president's suing you?

00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,339

- [clenched teeth] The guy can

do whatever he wants now

00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,212

that someone backed down, OK?

00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,778

Eat the bread.

Eat the bread.

00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,346

You guys saw

what happened to CBS?

00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,393

Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?

00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,002

Paramount!

00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,005

Do you really wanna end up

like Colbert?

00:18:57,092 --> 00:19:00,182

You guys gotta stop

being stupid.

00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,228

We can't understand you.

00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:03,532

- [clenched teeth]

Just shut up,

00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,014

or we're going to get canceled,

you idiots.

00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,449

- [MUFFLED]

What the hell is he saying?

00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,540

- Tom, they're calling it

the Sermon on the Mount.

00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,673

Hundreds of South Park faithful

are flocking to the area

00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:17,459

where Jesus Christ continues

to speak his words of wisdom.

00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,506

- [clenched teeth] If someone

has the power of the presidency

00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,291

and also has the power

to sue and take bribes,

00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:25,380

then he can do

anything to anyone!

00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,469

It's the fucking president, dude.

00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,169

All of you, shut the fuck up,

or South Park is over.

00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,605

It's fucking over.

00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,737

Just stop

and shut the fuck up.

00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,697

KYLE'S DAD: Ye--yes, sir.

00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,351

OK.

00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,831

Absolutely.

00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,398

Yes, thank you, Mr. President.

00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:44,356

We'll be happy

to pay that, sir.

00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,574

Yes, sir. I--

00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,230

I will relax,

and I'll take a rest.

00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,187

Yes, thank you.

00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,319

Thank you very much.

00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,626

[sighs] OK, we settled.

00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,976

[sighing in relief]

- Oh, we settled.

00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,281

Thank God.

00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:59,372

I got the president down

to $3.5 million.

00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,808

- $3.5 million?

That's--that's not so bad.

00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,680

- That's really fair.

I think that's fair.

00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,334

We'll just have to cut

some funding

00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,857

for our schools

and hospitals and roads,

00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,642

and that should be that.

- Yeah.

00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,861

- OK.

[crowd murmuring]

00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,081

- Yeah, well,

that's not quite all.

00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,518

As part of the settlement,

we also had to agree

00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,694

to doing pro-Trump messaging.

00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,870

- How are we supposed to do

pro-Trump messaging?

00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,220

- Oh, come on, guys.

00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,265

We're South Park!

00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,484

We can do it.

00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:25,920

- Yeah. All right.

- He's right.

00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,878

- We just gotta work together.

- Yeah!

00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,444

- All right!

- Yeah! Yeah!

00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:31,446

[sustained beep]

00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,710

[poignant music]

00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,018

NARRATOR: Who walked

through the desert for you?

00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:39,672

♪ ♪

00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501

Who survived the wilderness

00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,591

and gave

the ultimate sacrifice?

00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:48,420

When things heat up, who will

deliver us from temptation?

00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:50,987

♪

00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,295

Donald J. Trump.

00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:54,731

♪ ♪

00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:58,561

No matter how hot it gets,

00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,130

he's not afraid

to fight for America.

00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,961

With conviction, discipline,

and trust in God,

00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:09,441

he survived the desert.

00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:16,405

♪

00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:21,280

PENIS: I'm Donald J. Trump,

and I endorse this message.

00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,022

NARRATOR: Trump--

00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,503

his penis is teeny tiny,

00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,332

but his love for us is large.

00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:37,296

♪ ♪

00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:48,176

- Oh, I think I might be going.

00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:50,570

CARTMAN: Yep, sweet

death is about to come.

00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,527

I love you, man.

00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,794

[theme music]

00:21:57,925 --> 00:22:04,714

♪ ♪