Весенние каникулы

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- О, привет, Херб.

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- Знаешь, что на этой неделе, да?

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- Пасха?

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- Нет, у меня весенние каникулы!

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Никакой школы в течение семи дней!

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И знаешь что? Собирай вещи

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потому что мы с тобой отправляемся в большое

романтическое путешествие!

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- Правда?

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- Я только что из турагентства.

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Мы проведем пять ночей

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в Миртл Бич, в Южной Каролине.

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- О.

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- А в чем дело?

- Миртл Бич? Серьезно?

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Мы же знаем, что там происходит

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Я больше этим не занимаюсь, и тебе не стоит

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- Рик, я не хочу туда ехать, чтобы буянить.

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Я просто хочу сидеть с тобой на пляже и смотреть

на закат.

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- Да, но эти места же как раз в Миртл Бич?

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- Я и не собиралсс в те места

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Не думаю, что они еще существуют.

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Тебе не кажется, что нам это нужно, Рик?

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- И ты не пойдешь в эти места?

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- Рик, я уже староват для этого.

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Я был бы жалок, если бы это сделал.

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- Ну...

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Ладно.

- О, Рик!

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Это будет прекрасно!

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Не могу дождаться, чтобы побаловать тебя

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- Мне действительно нужен отпуск.

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- О, у нас будут лучшие весенние каникулы!

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- Так, ребята. Вы уверены, что всё взяли?

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- Да, похоже на то.

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- Надеюсь, вы с Шелли отлично проведете весенние каникулы.

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- Мне все же неловко, что мы отправляемся в путешествие

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а вы со Стэном остаетесь дома.

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- Вам будет весело в Санта-Фе

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А мы займемся делами для сына с отцом

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Пока, Шелли!

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Повеселись там! Буду скучать!

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- Еды должно хватить на неделю.

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- Да, да, не волнуйся. Все будет хорошо.

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- Пока, Стэн! Люблю тебя!

- Люблю тебя, мама!

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- Ладно, будьте осторожны.

- Пока!

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О, да!

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Сучки уехали!

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Весенние каникулы!

Весенние каникулы! Весенние каникулы!

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Это будут лучшие весенние каникулы.

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Их не будет целую неделю!

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Братан, что ты делаешь?

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- Раскрашиваю фигурки.

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- Раскрашиваешь фиг..

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Чувак, ты не понимаешь?

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Мама и Шелли уехали

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Мы можем делать все, что хотим, никаких дурацких правил.

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- Что хотим?

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- Да, чувак!

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В этом-то все и дело

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Давай устроим весенние каникулы!

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- Можно я позову кого-то из пацанов

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чтобы играть в "40k" всю неделю?

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- О да, давайте поиграем в "40k"

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А что это?

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- Ты не знаешь "Warhammer 40k"?

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- А, да, "Warhammer 40k", конечно.

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Согласен.

Давай!

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- Правда? Всю неделю?

- Да, чувак!

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Ты уже достаточно взрослый.

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- Класс! Я позвоню Толкиену!

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- О, Рик.

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Разве это не прекрасно? Это невероятное место.

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- Да, здесь очень мило.

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Я просто не знаю, заслуживаю ли я всего этого.

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- Заслуживаешь, Рик.

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Ты сделал меня по-настоящему счастливым

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Вы уже закончили?

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- Да, все готово. Держите.

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- О, Рик. Посмотри, как мы счастливы.

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Этот морской бриз просто прекрасен

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Хочу попробовать южную кухню

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Ты голоден?

- Да съел бы чего-нибудь

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- Здесь, на Юге, всё по-другому

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Трудно понять, что вкусно.

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Да, все магазины

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и рестораны здесь не такие, как в Колорадо.

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Это практически другая культура

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Херб?

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Херб?

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О, нет.

- Боже.

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Оно все еще здесь

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- Ты сказал, что не пойдешь в одно из этих мест.

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- Я не хочу туда заходить. Я просто...

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не могу поверить, что эти места ещё существуют

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- Ух ты! Глядите, кто здесь!

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Что вы делаете у нас?

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- Я тут просто в отпуске.

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Это Рик.

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- Не хотите зайти внутрь

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и немного помитинговать?

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- О, нет, спасибо. Я больше не митингую.

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- Вы уверены? Все были бы рады

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снова помитинговать

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- Уверен. Мне не нужны митинги

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Я здесь, чтобы расслабиться.

Всего хорошего.

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- Если передумаете, мы будем здесь!

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Америка номер один!

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- Номер один, ага.

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Вот ведь люди, да? Ну и дела.

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- Итак, мой отряд "Возмездие"

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атакует твой перехватчик "Штормхоук".

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- Хорошо, у него прочность 7

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и -1 к броскам на попадание.

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- Окей, это три, четыре, пять попаданий.

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- Я попробую бросить на спасение, 3+.

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Какого хера

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вы, парни, творите?

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- Мы играем в "40к".

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- Вы потратили еще один день каникул

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на это тупое дерьмо.

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- Вы знаете, что такое весенние каникулы?

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Конкурсы мокрых футболок, борьба в грязи.

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Давайте приведем сюда каких-нибудь сучек?

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- Ты вроде был так рад, что сучки уехали?

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- Я рад, что сучки уехали

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и мы можем пригласить сюда сучек!

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Весенние каникулы - время пацанов

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Но знаешь что,

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сегодняшнее общество все испортило.

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Они научили мальчиков, стыдиться того, что вы мальчики.

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Убедили вас, что ваши естественные врожденные мужские желания токсичны

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Неважно, что либералы пытаются вам сказать, парни,

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вы не должны стыдиться своего пола.

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- Ладно, пап. Итак, у меня пехотное

подразделение Империума

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в шести дюймах от Селестины,

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так что у них есть спасбросок +6.

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- Боже мой.

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Что мы будем делать?

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- Я собираюсь спать.

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Я сейчас засну.

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- Я засыпаю.

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Рик?

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- Могу я помочь вам... О, Боже!

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Сэр, вы вернулись!

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- Да, я просто смотрю

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- Народ, это он! Он здесь!

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- О, вау, это он! - Это он?

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- Это правда вы?

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- Что вы здесь делаете?

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- Можно сделать с вами селфи?

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- Эй, раз уж вы здесь,

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как насчет помитинговать?

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- Нет, нет. Я не могу митинговать

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У меня серьезный парень.

Я просто зашел посмотреть

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- О, да ладно. Когда ещё ты приедешь?

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Поживи немного!

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- Ну, может быть, только чуть-чуть.

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Вообще, что...

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Что за херня со всеми этими мексиканцами? А?

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Да! И, очевидно, Джо Байден думает

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что иммигранты сделаны из золота

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Кусок дерьма!

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Да! Да!

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Привет, Стивен.

Ты знаешь, что твой сын

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сидит у нас дома на каникулах?

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- Да, конечно знаю.

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- Ну, ты бы посмотрел, чем они занимаются,

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потому что это немного ....

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- Ну... и что они делают?

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- Слушай, думаю, нам лучше поговорить

с нашими мальчиками.

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чтобы противостоять тому, как общество

00:08:02,463 --> 00:08:05,366

патологизирует мужественность.

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Вот ты же отрывался на весенних каникулах, верно?

00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:10,304

Пытался подглядеть сиськи у девчонок и все такое?

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- Нет, не пытался.

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- Ну, я имею в виду, ты ведь не стыдился

00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:16,076

того, что ты парень, так?

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Например, ты ходил на озеро

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и хватал девочек за задницу, а?

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- Нет, не ходил.

00:08:22,516 --> 00:08:25,252

- Почему... почему ты так говоришь?

00:08:25,252 --> 00:08:27,921

Почему ты произносишь эти слова своим ртом?

00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:30,290

- О, привет, Рэнди.

Все нормально у мальчиков?

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- Ооо, точно.

00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:34,561

Прости... прости, да, все отлично.

00:08:34,561 --> 00:08:37,197

Они играют в свою настольную игру с фигурками.

00:08:37,197 --> 00:08:39,433

Отлично

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Просто, эм, зашел сказать, что у них все хорошо.

00:08:41,969 --> 00:08:43,036

Не волнуйся.

00:08:43,036 --> 00:08:45,105

Я позабочусь об этом.

00:08:46,473 --> 00:08:47,775

- Я скажу вам еще вот что

00:08:47,775 --> 00:08:49,810

Вся эта ситуация на Украине,

00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:51,745

не произошла бы при мне.

00:08:53,213 --> 00:08:56,483

Проблема в том, что у нас президент,

который боится.

00:08:56,483 --> 00:08:59,586

Вот почему Джо и его шлюшка должны уйти!

00:08:59,586 --> 00:09:00,988

(Joe and the hoe must go - слоган трампистов про Байдена и вице-президента)

00:09:00,988 --> 00:09:02,823

И я скажу вам еще одну вещь

00:09:02,823 --> 00:09:04,525

Это... о, подождите секундочку.

00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:07,294

О, черт.

00:09:07,294 --> 00:09:08,796

Подождите секундочку

00:09:08,796 --> 00:09:10,764

Э...

00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,068

О, привет, Рик!

00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:16,270

- Где ты?

00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:17,571

- Я не мог уснуть, Рик.

00:09:17,571 --> 00:09:19,006

Я просто ворочался всю ночь

00:09:19,006 --> 00:09:20,307

и не хотел тебя будить,

00:09:20,307 --> 00:09:22,676

поэтому решил выйти и купить солнцезащитный крем

00:09:22,676 --> 00:09:24,311

и все такое для пляжа на завтра

00:09:24,311 --> 00:09:26,213

- О, хорошо.

00:09:26,213 --> 00:09:28,615

Я испугался, что ты на митинге.

00:09:28,615 --> 00:09:31,018

- О, Боже, ну, это глупо.

00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:33,187

Последнее, что я хочу - это митинговать

00:09:33,187 --> 00:09:34,588

Слушай... ложись спать, Рик.

00:09:34,588 --> 00:09:36,123

Я... я скоро вернусь, хорошо?

00:09:36,123 --> 00:09:38,525

- Хорошо. Извини за панику.

Пока.

00:09:38,525 --> 00:09:40,461

Пока-пока.

00:09:40,461 --> 00:09:41,929

Ладно, приятно было познакомиться

00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,330

Мне пора идти

00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,032

- О, да ладно. Просто помитингуй с нами еще немного.

00:09:45,032 --> 00:09:46,333

- Нет, я правда не могу

00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,302

- Еще пару минут.

Давай!

00:09:49,203 --> 00:09:52,306

- Ладно, думаю, я могу еще немного помитинговать

00:09:52,306 --> 00:09:54,141

В конце концов, я здесь ради вас.

00:09:54,141 --> 00:09:56,343

Я ваш воин!

00:09:56,343 --> 00:09:57,878

Левые либералы!

00:09:57,878 --> 00:09:59,480

Ноутбук Хантера Байдена!

00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,417

Да! Да!

00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,868

О, боже.

00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,870

- Херб? Херб, тебе пора вставать.

00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,939

Мы пропустим наш пляжный день.

00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:25,808

- О, это... все из-за часовых поясов, Рик.

00:10:25,808 --> 00:10:27,043

Иди на пляж

00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,579

А я посплю еще немного

00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,080

- Хорошо.

00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:50,967

Чувак, круто что можно

00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:52,201

оставить "Warhammer" на всю ночь

00:10:52,201 --> 00:10:53,436

и вернуться к нему утром.

00:10:53,436 --> 00:10:55,304

- Ага, отлично

00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:58,274

- Эй, парни. Что вы наделали?

00:10:58,274 --> 00:11:00,343

- Ты о чем?

- Я о том, что копы пришли.

00:11:00,343 --> 00:11:02,011

Что вы натворили?

00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,615

- Мы продолжаем игру в "40k" со вчерашнего вечера

00:11:05,615 --> 00:11:07,016

- Ладно, пацаны, хватит

00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:09,252

полицейские хотят задать вам пару вопросов

00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,586

Заходите, офицеры.

00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,555

- Здравствуйте, джентльмены.

00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:13,823

Руки вверх.

00:11:13,823 --> 00:11:16,192

- Мы слышали, кто-то здесь плохо себя вел.

00:11:16,192 --> 00:11:18,861

- О, нет. Похоже, у вас большие проблемы.

00:11:18,861 --> 00:11:20,730

Лучше зачитайте им их права.

00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:22,398

- Эй, эй! Не трогайте модельки

00:11:22,398 --> 00:11:23,666

Мы потратили на это много времени.

00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:24,967

- Стэн, прекращай это дерьмо

00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,302

Давай, начинай

00:11:26,302 --> 00:11:28,437

Конкурс мокрых футболок!

00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,072

- Эй, какого хрена?

00:11:30,072 --> 00:11:32,508

- Что?

- Эй, ты, чертила!

00:11:32,508 --> 00:11:34,176

Не приставай к дамам!

00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:36,412

- Ну, я заказал стриптизерш, а не скромниц.

00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:38,714

- Хочешь поговорить, мужик? А?

00:11:38,714 --> 00:11:40,449

Крутым себя возомнил?

00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,817

- Эй, эй, ладно. Я--

00:11:41,817 --> 00:11:44,320

Мне нужно кое-что тебе объяснить, окей?

00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,555

Я просто пытаюсь бороться с посланиями

00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:48,724

которые левые либералы внушают молодым людям

00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:51,527

о том, что их мужские инстинкты токсичны.

00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:52,895

- Что за хрень ты несешь?

00:11:52,895 --> 00:11:54,430

- Я пытаюсь показать своему сыну

00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:56,432

и его дружку-ботану, что такое настоящая вечеринка

00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:58,601

потому что общество хочет, чтобы они стыдились

00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,736

своей мужской природы.

00:12:00,736 --> 00:12:03,139

- Ты хочешь настоящую вечеринку?

- Да!

00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,608

Если честно, у меня целый сарай травы

00:12:05,608 --> 00:12:08,678

- Я позову друзей.

00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:16,686

- Человек, с которым вы пытаетесь связаться

00:12:16,686 --> 00:12:18,187

не может быть найден.

00:12:18,187 --> 00:12:20,456

Пожалуйста, оставьте сообщение.

00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:21,757

- Ты где?

00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,726

Я вернулся с пляжа, а тебя нет.

00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:25,227

Пожалуйста, возьми трубку.

00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:42,211

Извините. Извините.

00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,351

- И мы возьмем Джорджию,

00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,153

и... и на этот раз мы возьмем Аризону!

00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:55,191

И когда я сказал, что мы возьмем Аризону на выборах,

00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,859

я... я имел в виду, что мы возьмем её снова.

00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,161

Потому что мы все знаем, что я победил там и в прошлый раз!

00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:03,432

Познакомьтесь, народ

00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:04,734

Это Рик.

00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,507

Рик! Рик, подожди, пожалуйста!

00:13:12,108 --> 00:13:13,676

Ты в курсе, что сейчас 2 часа ночи?

00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:16,479

Я сидел один в отеле, пока ты митинговал!

00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:19,281

- Я просто хотел немного помитинговать.

00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:21,784

- Да, по тебе видно, что "немного помитинговал"

00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:24,120

- Мне пришло сообщение, что Такер в городе,

00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,489

и я просто захотел немного помитинговать.

00:13:26,489 --> 00:13:29,058

- Ты действительно думаешь, что нужен этим людям, Херб?

00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,861

Нет. Они просто хотят этого

00:13:31,861 --> 00:13:34,697

- Рик, я уже все это забыл

00:13:34,697 --> 00:13:36,165

Мы все еще можем отлично отдохнуть.

00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:37,833

Давай завтра просто начнем сначала

00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,568

Хорошо?

00:13:48,811 --> 00:13:51,414

- Хорошо, сделаем это!

00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:52,481

Вы готовы?

00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:54,950

Три, два, один. Вперед!

00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:57,219

Зацените, ребята!

00:13:58,554 --> 00:14:00,256

Ааа!

00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,624

А? Вау!

00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,263

- Сэр, как вы думаете, вы можете ходить?

00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,165

- Нет, я так не думаю.

00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:11,434

- Сэр, мы думаем, что вы слишком много выпили,

00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,302

и мы должны отвезти вас в больницу.

00:14:13,302 --> 00:14:15,304

- Нет, я не могу. Я должен остаться здесь

00:14:15,304 --> 00:14:17,072

потому что я отвечаю за своего сына.

00:14:17,072 --> 00:14:19,408

Сегодняшняя культура очернила его мужское достоинство

00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:21,243

и заставила его стыдиться себя.

00:14:21,243 --> 00:14:23,946

- Хорошо, сэр, но, похоже, у вас сломана рука

00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,548

и несколько ребер тоже.

00:14:25,548 --> 00:14:27,183

- Да, но я не могу уйти

00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:29,552

потому что природные инстинкты моего сына подавляются

00:14:29,552 --> 00:14:31,754

и это приводит к проблемам с поведением.

00:14:31,754 --> 00:14:33,289

Вы видите, что он творит?

00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,825

Он там в куклы играет

00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:45,334

- Неплохое фондю, правда?

00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,671

- Наверное, нам лучше вернуться в отель.

00:14:48,671 --> 00:14:50,606

Тебя всю ночь трясло от митингов.

00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:53,476

- Нет, нет, Рик.

Это наш отпуск.

00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,010

Я хочу, чтобы у нас был хороший

00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:56,912

романтический ужин.

00:14:56,912 --> 00:14:59,114

- Может, нам лучше вернуться в Колорадо?

00:14:59,114 --> 00:15:02,051

- Нет, Рик. Я все исправлю.

00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,552

Я больше не хочу участвовать в митингах.

00:15:03,552 --> 00:15:05,154

Там просто много людей,

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,223

которые не могут успокоиться, понимаешь?

00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:08,858

- Да, и ты не можешь быть среди них.

00:15:08,858 --> 00:15:10,826

- Я знаю, знаю.

00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,328

Давай я...

00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,997

Давай я схожу поблевать, мне станет гораздо лучше

00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,199

- Ладно, сходи поблевать, Херб.

00:15:28,444 --> 00:15:29,678

О, Боже.

00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,780

Просто остановись. Остановись.

00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:33,282

Страна в порядке.

00:15:33,282 --> 00:15:34,950

У тебя есть дела поважнее.

00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:58,807

Да, о да! Вот так! Да!

00:15:58,807 --> 00:16:01,377

Мы добьемся того, что права на аборты выкинут к чертям

00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,280

чтобы эти грязные лесбиянки не могли больше делать аборты!

00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,248

- Да! О, да, мужик!

00:16:06,248 --> 00:16:08,517

- Мы уберем с улиц протестующих за "Black Lives Matter"

00:16:08,517 --> 00:16:10,419

пожарными шлангами!

00:16:10,419 --> 00:16:12,755

Да, Америка!

Да!

00:16:12,755 --> 00:16:13,889

Рик!

00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,958

- Иди нахуй!

00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,562

- Ну и черт с тобой!

00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,130

Никто меня не контролирует!

00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:24,300

- Да! - Да!

Америка! Да!

00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,407

- Я могу вам помочь?

00:16:39,407 --> 00:16:41,175

- Поступили жалобы на вечеринку

00:16:41,175 --> 00:16:43,210

которая продолжается здесь уже три дня.

00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,512

- Эй, что происходит?

00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:48,616

Так, народ, кто заказывал стриптизершу?

00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:50,618

- Мы можем войти и осмотреться, сэр?

00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,687

- О, да! Заходите.

00:16:53,593 --> 00:16:54,755

Бип-бип!

00:16:54,755 --> 00:16:56,090

- Так, лицом на землю!

00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:57,992

- Эй, эй! Нет, нет, нет.

Все в порядке.

00:16:57,992 --> 00:16:59,560

Я просто помогаю своему мальчику

00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,062

пройти через нападки СМИ на мужественность.

00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,900

- Покажите документы, сэр.

00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,903

- Ладно! Слушай, Стэн! Стэн!

00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,838

Да?

00:17:10,838 --> 00:17:13,240

- Можешь принести мой бумажник сверху?

00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,443

- Да, как только мы закончим с фазой псайкера

00:17:15,443 --> 00:17:16,811

У меня пять псайкеров.

00:17:16,811 --> 00:17:19,113

- О, Боже мой.

Так неловко.

00:17:20,514 --> 00:17:23,284

- Эй! Замри!

Ты, стоять!

00:17:23,284 --> 00:17:26,454

- Это Алонзо Финески, румынский секс-торговец!

00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:27,755

- Пошел ты, мужик!

00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,360

- Ааа! О, Боже мой!

00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:40,034

Стэн? Стэн?

00:17:48,876 --> 00:17:50,778

- А теперь, дамы и господа,

00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,713

вот он,

00:17:52,713 --> 00:17:55,116

бывший и будущий президент

00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,018

Соединенных Штатов Америки!

00:18:03,157 --> 00:18:06,660

- Спасибо. Я здесь сегодня

00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,763

ради тех, кого обидели.

00:18:10,264 --> 00:18:13,534

Ради тех, кого предали.

00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:15,936

И позвольте мне сказать вам

00:18:15,936 --> 00:18:19,774

что никого в этой стране не предали больше

00:18:19,774 --> 00:18:22,043

чем моего Рикки Рика.

00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:23,978

- А? Что?

00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:27,681

- Рик, мне очень жаль.

00:18:27,681 --> 00:18:29,383

И если ты меня слышишь,

00:18:29,383 --> 00:18:32,319

я хочу, чтобы ты знал, что я люблю тебя.

00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,455

Ты - единственное, что удерживает меня от

00:18:34,455 --> 00:18:36,924

всех этих глупостей.

00:18:36,924 --> 00:18:39,794

Когда я встретил тебя, я почувствовал, что контролирую себя

00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,223

впервые

00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:45,566

Не было никого, кто успокаивал бы меня лучше

00:18:45,566 --> 00:18:48,669

чем мой маленький медвежонок Рикки.

00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,771

Ты - мой малыш.

00:18:50,771 --> 00:18:54,608

- Он сейчас сказал, что Рик - его малыш?

00:18:54,608 --> 00:18:58,813

- Правда в том, что некоторые просто не могут быть одни

00:18:58,813 --> 00:19:03,884

Нам нужны отношения, чтобы мы были ответственны перед кем-то.

00:19:03,884 --> 00:19:06,854

Сейчас я понимаю, насколько я сломлен

00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:11,525

без того человека, который удерживает меня от саморазрушения.

00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,094

- Ш-Шэрон?

00:19:13,094 --> 00:19:16,864

- И все, что я делал, это принимал тебя как должное

00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,533

и хотел, чтобы меня не контролировали

00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:22,470

- Привет, Шэрон.

00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:25,539

Не могла бы ты вернуться домой?

00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:29,110

- Рик, без тебя я - огромный кусок дерьма

00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:31,712

Я не заслуживаю ещё одного шанса.

00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,514

Тебя обидели.

00:19:33,514 --> 00:19:35,749

Тебя предали.

00:19:35,749 --> 00:19:41,155

И единственный человек, который заслуживает расплаты - это я.

00:19:42,022 --> 00:19:46,227

Я знаю, вы все очень хотите митинговать и бушевать, но...

00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,296

единственное, что я могу сказать...

00:19:49,296 --> 00:19:53,601

это то, что я люблю Рика.

00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:58,272

Я люблю Рика! Я люблю Рика!

00:19:58,272 --> 00:20:00,641

Я люблю Рика.

00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,576

Я люблю Рика.

00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:07,114

Я люблю Рика! Я люблю Рика!

00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:09,250

Я люблю Рика!

00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,985

Я люблю Рика! - Я люблю тебя, Рик!

00:20:10,985 --> 00:20:14,088

Я люблю Рика! Я люблю Рика!

00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,223

Я люблю Рика! - Да!

00:20:16,223 --> 00:20:18,859

Я люблю Рика!

00:20:18,859 --> 00:20:21,061

Я люблю Рика! Я люблю Рика!

00:20:21,061 --> 00:20:23,898

Я люблю Рика! Я люблю Рика!

00:20:23,898 --> 00:20:25,132

Я люблю Рика!

00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:27,067

- О, черт. Опять началось!

00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:28,769

Я люблю Рика! Я люблю Рика!

00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:29,937

Я люблю...

00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:45,186

- Все хорошо, Рэнди. Мы вернулись.

00:20:45,186 --> 00:20:49,123

- Прости, что прервал твою поездку.

00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,925

- Все хорошо, Рэнди.

00:20:50,925 --> 00:20:53,194

Она вышла длиннее, чем прошлые весенние каникулы.

00:20:58,899 --> 00:21:01,068

- Привет, мам.

- Стэнли,

00:21:01,068 --> 00:21:02,736

что я тебе говорила про игру в "Warhammer"

00:21:02,736 --> 00:21:05,206

на кухонном столе?

00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,557

- О, Рик!

00:21:26,227 --> 00:21:29,063

Я не хочу проходить через все это снова

00:21:29,063 --> 00:21:32,399

Я просто хочу остаться в Южном Парке с тобой.

00:21:32,399 --> 00:21:36,237

- Ну, думаю, мы просто посмотрим, что

будет дальше.

00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,636

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:13,471

all:

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,598

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,808

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,852

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,562

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,272

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,606

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,567

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,988

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,531

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,540

Hey, Rick!

00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,167

Oh. Hey, Herb.

00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,211

So, you know what

this week is, right?

00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,172

Um, is it Easter?

00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,883

No, it's my spring break!

00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,010

No school for seven days!

00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,304

And guess what?

Go pack your things

00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,474

because you and I are going

on a big, romantic trip!

00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,767

Really?

00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,602

I just came

from the travel agent.

00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,145

We're gonna spend five nights

00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:05,273

in Myrtle Beach,

South Carolina.

00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,859

Oh.

00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,737

- Well, what's the matter?

- Myrtle Beach? Really?

00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,989

We all know what goes on

down there.

00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,408

I don't do that stuff anymore,

and neither should you.

00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,037

Rick, I don't wanna

go down there to rage.

00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:22,081

I just wanna sit on a beach

with you and watch the sunset.

00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:25,001

Yeah, but isn't Myrtle Beach

where those places are?

00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,754

I don't wanna go into

one of those places.

00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,506

I don't think they even exist anymore.

00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,925

Don't you think this is

just what we need, Rick?

00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,344

You don't even wanna

go into one of those places?

00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,845

Rick, I'm a little old

for that.

00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,056

It'd be pretty pathetic

if I did.

00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,516

Well...

00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,226

Okay.

- Ohh, Rick!

00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,852

We're gonna have the best time!

00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,270

I can't wait to spoil you.

00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,939

I really do need a vacation.

00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:50,109

Oh, we're gonna have the best

spring break of anyone!

00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,571

All right, guys.

You sure you packed everything?

00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:55,198

Yeah, that should be

all of it.

00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,951

Well, I hope you and Shelley

have a great spring break trip.

00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,911

I still feel bad,

us going on a trip

00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,621

while you and Stan stay home.

00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,081

You guys have fun

in Santa Fe.

00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,291

We're gonna do

some dad and son stuff.

00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,459

Goodbye, Shelley!

00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,045

Have fun! I'll miss you!

00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,215

There should be food enough

to last you the week.

00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,384

Yes, yes, don't worry.

We'll be fine.

00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,427

- Bye, Stan! Love you!

- Love you, Mom!

00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,514

- Okay, guys, be safe.

- Bye!

00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,728

Aww, jeah!

00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,231

Bitches are gone!

00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,067

Spring break!

Spring break! Spring break!

00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,152

This is gonna be

the best spring break ever.

00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,113

They're gonna be gone

the whole week!

00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,575

Bro, what are you doing?

00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,368

I'm painting miniatures.

00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,953

Painting min--

00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,580

Dude, do you not understand?

00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,415

Your mom and Shelley are gone.

00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:48,501

We can do whatever we want

without any stupid rules.

00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,586

Whatever I want?

00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,670

Yeah, dude!

00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,963

That's what this is all about.

00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,090

Let's do some

spring break shit!

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,425

Can I see if any of the guys

wanna come over

00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,926

to do "40k" all week?

00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,761

Hell, yeah,

let's do some "40k."

00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,762

What is that?

00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,306

You don't know

"Warhammer 40k"?

00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,600

Oh, yeah,

"Warhammer 40k," of course.

00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,934

I'm down.

Let's do it.

00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,603

- Really? All week?

- Yeah, dude!

00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,770

You're old enough.

00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,106

Sweet! I'm gonna call

Tolkien!

00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,450

Oh, Rick.

00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,161

Isn't this nice?

This place is incredible.

00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,787

Yeah, it's really nice.

00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,831

I just don't know

if I deserve all this.

00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,583

You do deserve it, Rick.

00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,793

You've made me really happy.

00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,337

Are you almost done?

00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,298

Yeah, all done.

Here you go.

00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,134

Oh, Rick.

Look at how happy we are.

00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,722

Oh, that salt water air

is just so good.

00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,307

Can't wait to try

some Southern food.

00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,809

You hungry?

- Yeah, sure. I could eat.

00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,770

A lot of things are different

here in the South.

00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,480

Kinda hard to figure out

what's good.

00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,898

Yeah, all the stores

00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,566

and restaurants here

aren't like Colorado.

00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,234

It's almost like

another culture.

00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:57,654

Herb?

00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,239

Herb?

00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,455

Oh, no.

- Geez.

00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,040

It's still here.

00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,380

You said you wouldn't

go into one of these places.

00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,548

I don't wanna go in.

I just...

00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,634

can't believe some of these

places are still here.

00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,844

Whoa! Look who's here!

00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,763

What are you doing in town?

00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,015

Oh, I'm just on vacation.

00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,183

This is Rick.

00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,643

Well, do you wanna

come inside

00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,727

and rally a little bit?

00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,854

Oh, no thanks.

I don't rally anymore.

00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,731

You sure?

Everyone would love

00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:34,941

to rally with you again.

00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,985

I'm sure.

I don't need to rally.

00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,861

I'm just here to relax.

Take care.

00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,155

Well, if you change

your mind, we'll be here!

00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,615

America number one!

00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826

Number one, yep.

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,286

Some people, huh? Geez.

00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,875

Okay, so I'm gonna have

my Retributor Squad

00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,877

attack your

Stormhawk Interceptor.

00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,504

Okay, that has

a toughness of 7

00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,464

and a -1

to your hit rolls.

00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,218

Okay, so that's

three, four, five hits.

00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,345

Okay, I'm gonna roll

my saving throw, which is 3+.

00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,139

What in the actual fuck

00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,724

are you guys doing?

00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,183

We're playing "40k."

00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,020

You guys have wasted

another day of spring break

00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,814

with this stupid shit.

00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,900

Do you guys know

what spring break is about?

00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,820

Wet t-shirt contests,

mud wrestling.

00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,739

Don't you wanna get

some bitches over here?

00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,824

I thought you were happy

'cause the bitches were gone?

00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,284

I'm happy

the bitches are gone

00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,952

so we can have bitches over!

00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,246

Spring break is dude time.

00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,914

But you know what,

00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,042

today's society

has ruined it all.

00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,921

They've taught you boys

to be ashamed of being boys.

00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:43,426

Convinced you that your natural

innate male desires are toxic.

00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,804

No matter what the liberals

try to tell you, boys,

00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,348

you shouldn't be ashamed

of your gender.

00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:52,101

Okay, Dad. So I've got

an Imperium infantry unit

00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,311

within six inches

of Celestine,

00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,063

so they have a +6 save.

00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,607

My God.

00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,401

What are we going to do?

00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,786

I'm going to sleep.

00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,454

I'm gonna go to sleep now.

00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,790

♪ I feel so alone ♪

00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,667

Here I go... to sleep.

00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,880

Rick?

00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,306

♪ Go, look at me ♪

00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,851

♪ I feel so alone ♪

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,022

♪ Come on ♪

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,152

♪ Move with me ♪

00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,695

♪ Look at me ♪

00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,076

♪ I feel so alone ♪

00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,038

♪ Come on ♪

00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,168

Can I help you

find any--oh, my God!

00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,336

Sir, you're back!

00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,004

Yeah, just browsing.

00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,340

You guys, it's him!

He's here!

00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,466

- Oh, wow, it is him!

- It's him?

00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,844

Is that really you?

00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,220

What are you doing here?

00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,763

Could I get

a selfie with you?

00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,723

Hey, uh, since you're here,

00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,100

you wanna rally a little bit?

00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,852

No, no. I can't rally

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,271

I've got a serious boyfriend.

I'm just looking around.

00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,398

Oh, come on. When are you

gonna be here again?

00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,566

Live a little!

00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,026

Well, maybe I could do

just a little bit.

00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,862

I mean, wha--

00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,865

What the hell is up

with all these Mexicans? Huh?

00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,119

Yeah! I mean--I mean,

Joe Biden obviously thinks

00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,954

immigrants are made of gold

or something.

00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,206

Piece of shit!

00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,584

Yeah! Yeah!

00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,924

Hey, Steven.

You know your son's

00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,759

been over at my house

for spring break?

00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,553

Yeah, of course I know.

00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,055

Well, you should see

what they're doing,

00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,892

'cause it's a little hrrrp.

00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,393

Well--well,

what are they doing?

00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,937

Look, I just think

we better talk with our boys

00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,398

to counteract all the ways

in which society

00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:05,193

has been pathologizing masculinity.

00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,570

I mean, you went balls-out

on spring break, right?

00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,281

Tried to see chicks' boobs

and stuff?

00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,325

Mm, no I didn't.

00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,410

Well, no, I mean,

you weren't ashamed

00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,995

of being a guy, right?

00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,246

Like, you went out to the lake

00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,582

and tried to play grab ass

with girls, right?

00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,501

No, I did not.

00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:25,087

Why--why are you saying that?

00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,924

Why are you making

those words with your mouth?

00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,301

Oh, hey, Randy.

Everything okay with the boys?

00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,386

Ohh, right.

00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,472

Sorry--sorry, yeah,

everything's great.

00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,183

They're playing a little

table miniatures game.

00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,352

It's great.

00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,812

Just, uh, came to let you know

they're good.

00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:42,939

Don't worry.

00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,982

I'm gonna take care of it.

00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,777

I'll tell you what else.

00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,820

This whole situation

in the Ukraine,

00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,572

that wouldn't be happening

on my watch.

00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,410

The problem is now we all have

a president who's afraid.

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,497

And that's why Joe and the ho

have got to go!

00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,667

And I'll tell you

another thing.

00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,460

It's--oh, hang on a second.

00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,213

{\an8}Oh, crap.

00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,631

{\an8}Ho--hold on a second, everybody.

00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,800

Uh--

00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,971

Oh, hey, Rick!

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,180

Where are you?

00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,557

I couldn't sleep, Rick.

00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,891

I was just tossing and turning

00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,142

and I didn't wanna wake you up,

00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,645

so I decided to come out

and buy some sunscreen

00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,313

and stuff

for our beach day tomorrow.

00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,023

Oh, okay.

00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,567

I got scared

that you were out rallying.

00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,861

Ohh, geez,

well, that's silly.

00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:33,072

Last thing I wanna do

is rally.

00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,532

Listen up--

get back to sleep, Rick.

00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,950

I'll--I'll be right home, okay?

00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,536

Okay. Sorry for panicking. Bye.

00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,329

Bye-bye.

00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,789

Okay, uh, nice to meet you, everybody.

00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,165

I need to get going.

00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,959

Oh, come on. Just rally

with us a little bit more.

00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,252

No, I really can't.

00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,254

Just a few more minutes.

Come on!

00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,174

All right, I guess I can

rally just a little bit longer.

00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,051

I mean, after all,

I am here for you.

00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,345

I am your warrior!

00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,763

Liberal left!

00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,473

Hunter Biden laptop!

00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,311

Yeah! Yeah!

00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,532

Uh--

00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,868

Ugh. Oh, geez.

00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,828

Herb?

Herb, you gotta get up.

00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,872

We're gonna miss

our whole beach day.

00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,875

Oh, it's--it's just

the time change, Rick.

00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,043

You enjoy the beach.

00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,587

I just gotta sleep

a little longer.

00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,088

Okay.

00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,941

Dude, it's so awesome

being able

00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,234

to leave "Warhammer"

set up all night

00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,361

and come back to it

in the morning.

00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,363

I know, it's great.

00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,240

Hey, hey, you guys.

What did you do?

00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,242

- What do you mean?

- I mean the cops are here.

00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,827

What did you guys do?

00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,498

We're just continuing our

game of "40k" from last night.

00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,916

Okay, you guys,

just stop

00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,085

'cause the police wanna ask you

some questions.

00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,419

Come on in, officers.

00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,588

Hello, gentlemen.

00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,756

Hands up.

00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,175

We heard somebody in here's

been bad.

00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,844

Oh, no, guys. Looks like

you're in big trouble.

00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,638

You better read 'em

their rights.

00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,306

Hey, whoa, whoa!

Don't touch the models.

00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,599

We spent a long time on this.

00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,017

Stan, stop with that shit.

00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,185

Come on, get into it.

00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,354

Wet t-shirt contest!

00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,106

Hey, what the fuck?

00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,400

- What?

- Hey, you fuck guy!

00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,151

You do not harass the ladies!

00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,445

Well, I wanted strippers,

not prudes.

00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,739

You wanna talk, big man? Huh?

00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,366

You wanna be big man?

00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,742

Whoa, whoa, okay. I--

00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,328

I think I need to explain

something to you, okay?

00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,622

Look, I'm just trying to combat

the messages

00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,624

that the liberal left

is putting out to young men

00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,460

about their male instincts

being toxic.

00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,837

The fuck you talking?

00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,463

You know,

I'm trying to show my son

00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,507

and his nerdy little friend

what a real party is

00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,551

'cause society wants them

to be ashamed

00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,678

of their masculine natures.

00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,097

- You want real party?

- Yeah!

00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,558

Truth is, I got a whole barn

full of weed.

00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,811

I will call some friends.

00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,652

The person you are

trying to reach

00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,154

cannot be located.

00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,448

Please leave a message.

00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,699

Where are you?

00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,742

I got back from the beach

and you were gone.

00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,244

Please pick up.

00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,094

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,350

And we're gonna take Georgia,

00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,061

and--and we're gonna

take Arizona this time!

00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,191

And when I say we're gonna take

Arizona in the election,

00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,734

I--I mean we're gonna

take it again.

00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,069

'cause we all know

I won it last time, too!

00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:03,365

Oh. Hey, everybody.

00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,742

This is Rick.

00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,373

Rick! Rick,

will you just wait!

00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,751

You know it's 2:00

in the morning?

00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,545

I was alone at the hotel

while you were out rallying!

00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,215

I just wanted to rally

for a little bit.

00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,675

Yeah, you really look like

you just rallied a little bit.

00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,053

I got a text

that Tucker was in town,

00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,514

and I just wanted to go rally

for a little bit.

00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,016

You really think those people

care about you, Herb?

00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,769

They don't.

They just wanna do that.

00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,563

Rick, I got it

out of my system now.

00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,232

We can still have

a great vacation.

00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,900

Let's just start over tomorrow.

00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,610

Okay?

00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,330

Right, all right,

let's do this!

00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,373

Okay, you ready?

00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,917

Three, two, one. Go!

00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,253

Check it out, guys!

00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,297

Ahh!

00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,590

Huh? Whoa!

00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,263

Sir, do you think

you can walk?

00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,098

No, I don't think so.

00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,433

Sir, we think you've had

too much to drink,

00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,269

and we should probably

take you to the hospital.

00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,312

No, I can't.

I have to stay here

00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,022

'cause I'm in charge

of my son.

00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,483

Today's woke culture

has vilified his manhood

00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,193

and made him ashamed

of himself.

00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,904

Okay, sir, but it appears

you have a broken arm

00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,447

and several fractured ribs.

00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,074

Yeah, but I can't leave

00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,618

because my son's natural

instincts are being suppressed

00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,704

and it's leading

to behavioral problems.

00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,289

You see the shit he's doing?

00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,958

He's over there

playing with dolls.

00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,342

It's pretty good fondue, right?

00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,721

We should probably

just go back to the hotel.

00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,723

You've got the shakes

from rallying all night.

00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,350

No, no, Rick.

This is our vacation.

00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,977

I want us to have a nice

00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,812

romantic lunch.

00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,064

Maybe we should

just go back to Colorado.

00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,026

No, Rick.

I'm gonna make this up to you.

00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,611

I don't wanna rally anymore.

00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,154

There's just a lot of people

out there

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,156

who won't let it go, you know?

00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,824

Yes, and you can't

be around them.

00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,826

I know, I know.

00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,244

Let me just--

00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,997

Let me just go throw up

because I'll feel much better.

00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,166

Okay, go throw up, Herb.

00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,553

Oh, God.

00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,764

Come on, just stop. Stop.

00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,349

The country is fine.

00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,017

You have better things to do.

00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,874

Yeah, oh yeah!

That's it! Yeah!

00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,293

We're gonna get abortion rights

thrown the hell out

00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,338

so those dirty lesbians

can't keep having abortions!

00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,131

Yeah! Oh, yeah, man!

00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,592

We're gonna get those Black

Lives Matter protestors

00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,469

off the streets

with a fire hose!

00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,721

Yeah, America!

both: Yeah!

00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,889

Rick!

00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,849

Fuck you.

00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,436

Well, to hell with you!

00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,063

Nobody controls me!

00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,274

- Yeah!

- Yeah! America! Yeah!

00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,373

Can I help you?

00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,083

We've had some complaints

about a party

00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,001

that's been going on

for three days here.

00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,420

Hey, what's going on?

00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,424

All right, guys,

who ordered the stripper?

00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,551

Can we come in

and look around, sir?

00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,594

Oh, yeah! Come on in.

00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,596

Honk honk!

00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,973

All right,

get down on the ground!

00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,016

Whoa, whoa! No, no, no.

It's okay.

00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,309

I'm just helping my boy

00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,978

through the media assault

on manliness.

00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:04,189

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,774

I need to see some ID, sir.

00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:08,777

Uh! Okay!

Okay, Stan! Stan!

00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,696

Yeah?

00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,115

Can you get my wallet

from the upstairs?

00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,284

Yeah, soon as we're done

with this psyker phase.

00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,702

I have five psyker units.

00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,038

{\an8}Oh, my God.

This is so embarrassing.

00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,167

Hey! Freeze!

You, right there!

00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,295

That's Alonzo Fineski,

the Romanian sex trafficker!

00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,713

Fuck you, big man!

00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,176

Ahh! Oh, my God!

00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,011

Ahh!

00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,975

Stan? Stan?

00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,694

And now,

ladies and gentlemen,

00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,613

here he is,

00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,990

the once and future president

00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,992

of the United States

of America!

00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,460

Thank you.

I am here today

00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,712

{\an8}for those who have

been wronged.

00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,425

{\an8}For those who have been betrayed.

00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,719

{\an8}And let me tell you

00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:19,681

{\an8}that nobody in this country

has been betrayed more

00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,975

{\an8}than my Ricky Rick.

00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,936

{\an8}Huh? What?

00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,523

{\an8}Rick, I am so sorry.

00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,358

And if you are out there,

00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,194

I want you to know

that I love you.

00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,279

You are the only thing

that keeps me from doing

00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,740

all this stupid stuff.

00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,701

When I met you,

I felt in control of myself

00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,620

for the first time.

00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:45,415

{\an8}There has never been anyone

who calmed me down more

00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,544

{\an8}than my little Ricky Bear.

00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,587

{\an8}You are my boo.

00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:54,591

Did he just say

that Rick is his boo?

00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:58,720

The truth is, some of us

simply can't be alone.

00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,725

We need a relationship so that

we're accountable to someone.

00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:06,812

I realize now

how broken I am

00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:11,400

without that person who keeps

me from destroying myself.

00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,901

Sh-Sharon?

00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:16,613

And all I've ever done

was take you for granted

00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,324

and wished I wasn't

being controlled.

00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,286

Hi, Sharon.

00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,414

Will you please come home?

00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:29,001

Rick, I am a giant

piece of shit without you.

00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,587

I don't deserve

another chance.

00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,297

You have been wronged.

00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,757

You have been betrayed.

00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:40,929

{\an8}And the only person

who deserves retribution is me.

00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:46,101

I know you all really want

to rally and rage, but...

00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,271

the only thing

I have to say is...

00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:53,400

{\an8}is that I love Rick.

00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,238

{\an8}I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:02,367

I love Rick.

00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:06,997

I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:10,876

I love Rick!

- I love you, Rick!

00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,004

all: I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,131

I love Rick!

- Yeah!

00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,759

all: I love Rick!

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,969

I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,805

I love Rick! I love Rick!

00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,015

I love Rick!

00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,934

Oh, crap.

Here we go again!

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,685

all: I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:29,853

I love--

00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,118

It's okay, Randy.

We're back.

00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:49,039

I'm sorry

I cut your trip short.

00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,707

It's okay, Randy.

00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,126

You made it longer

than last spring break.

00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,884

- Oh. Hey, Mom.

- Stanley,

00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,552

what have I told you

about playing "Warhammer"

00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,138

on the kitchen table?

- Aw!

00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,573

Oh, Rick!

00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,912

I don't wanna go

through all that again.

00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:32,290

I just wanna stay

in South Park with you.

00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:36,169

Well, I guess we'll just

have to see what happens.

00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,093

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,636

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:13,471

all:

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,598

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,808

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,852

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,562

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,272

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,606

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,567

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,653

[muffled singing]

00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,988

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,531

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,540

Hey, Rick!

00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,167

Oh. Hey, Herb.

00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,211

So, you know what

this week is, right?

00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,172

Um, is it Easter?

00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,883

No, it's my spring break!

00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,010

No school for seven days!

00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,304

And guess what?

Go pack your things

00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,474

because you and I are going

on a big, romantic trip!

00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,767

Really?

00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,602

I just came

from the travel agent.

00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,145

We're gonna spend five nights

00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:05,273

in Myrtle Beach,

South Carolina.

00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,859

Oh.

00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,737

- Well, what's the matter?

- Myrtle Beach? Really?

00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,989

We all know what goes on

down there.

00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,408

I don't do that stuff anymore,

and neither should you.

00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,037

Rick, I don't wanna

go down there to rage.

00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:22,081

I just wanna sit on a beach

with you and watch the sunset.

00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:25,001

Yeah, but isn't Myrtle Beach

where those places are?

00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,754

I don't wanna go into

one of those places.

00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,506

I don't think they even exist anymore.

00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,925

Don't you think this is

just what we need, Rick?

00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,344

You don't even wanna

go into one of those places?

00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,845

Rick, I'm a little old

for that.

00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,056

It'd be pretty pathetic

if I did.

00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,516

Well...

00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,226

Okay.

- Ohh, Rick!

00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,852

We're gonna have the best time!

00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,270

I can't wait to spoil you.

00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,939

I really do need a vacation.

00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:50,109

Oh, we're gonna have the best

spring break of anyone!

00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,571

All right, guys.

You sure you packed everything?

00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:55,198

Yeah, that should be

all of it.

00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,951

Well, I hope you and Shelley

have a great spring break trip.

00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,911

I still feel bad,

us going on a trip

00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,621

while you and Stan stay home.

00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,081

You guys have fun

in Santa Fe.

00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,291

We're gonna do

some dad and son stuff.

00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,459

Goodbye, Shelley!

00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,045

Have fun! I'll miss you!

[kisses]

00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,215

There should be food enough

to last you the week.

00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,384

Yes, yes, don't worry.

We'll be fine.

00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,427

- Bye, Stan! Love you!

- Love you, Mom!

00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,514

- Okay, guys, be safe.

- Bye!

00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,728

[slams door]

Aww, jeah!

00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,231

Bitches are gone!

00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,067

Spring break!

Spring break! Spring break!

00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,152

This is gonna be

the best spring break ever.

00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,113

They're gonna be gone

the whole week!

00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,575

[opens beer]

Bro, what are you doing?

00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,368

I'm painting miniatures.

00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,953

Painting min--

00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,580

Dude, do you not understand?

00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,415

Your mom and Shelley are gone.

00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:48,501

We can do whatever we want

without any stupid rules.

00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,586

Whatever I want?

00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,670

Yeah, dude!

00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,963

That's what this is all about.

00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,090

Let's do some

spring break shit!

00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,425

Can I see if any of the guys

wanna come over

00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,926

to do "40k" all week?

00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,761

Hell, yeah,

let's do some "40k."

00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,762

What is that?

00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,306

You don't know

"Warhammer 40k"?

00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,600

Oh, yeah,

"Warhammer 40k," of course.

00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,934

I'm down.

Let's do it.

00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,603

- Really? All week?

- Yeah, dude!

00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,770

You're old enough.

00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,106

Sweet! I'm gonna call

Tolkien!

00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:13,109

[chatter, children playing]

00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,450

Oh, Rick.

00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,161

Isn't this nice?

This place is incredible.

00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,787

Yeah, it's really nice.

00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,831

I just don't know

if I deserve all this.

00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,583

You do deserve it, Rick.

00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,793

You've made me really happy.

00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,337

Are you almost done?

00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,298

Yeah, all done.

Here you go.

00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,134

Oh, Rick.

Look at how happy we are.

00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,722

Oh, that salt water air

is just so good.

00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,307

Can't wait to try

some Southern food.

00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,809

You hungry?

- Yeah, sure. I could eat.

00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,770

A lot of things are different

here in the South.

00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,480

Kinda hard to figure out

what's good.

00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,898

[dreamy club music playing]

- Yeah, all the stores

00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,566

and restaurants here

aren't like Colorado.

00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,234

It's almost like

another culture.

00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:56,653

♪ ♪

00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:57,654

Herb?

00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,863

♪ ♪

00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,239

Herb?

00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,453

♪ ♪

00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,455

Oh, no.

- Geez.

00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,040

It's still here.

00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,169

♪ ♪

00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,380

You said you wouldn't

go into one of these places.

00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,548

I don't wanna go in.

I just...

00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,634

can't believe some of these

places are still here.

00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,844

Whoa! Look who's here!

00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,763

What are you doing in town?

00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,015

Oh, I'm just on vacation.

00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,183

This is Rick.

00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,643

Well, do you wanna

come inside

00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,727

and rally a little bit?

00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,854

Oh, no thanks.

I don't rally anymore.

00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,731

You sure?

Everyone would love

00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:34,941

to rally with you again.

00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,985

I'm sure.

I don't need to rally.

00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,861

I'm just here to relax.

Take care.

00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,155

Well, if you change

your mind, we'll be here!

00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,615

America number one!

00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826

Number one, yep.

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,286

Some people, huh? Geez.

00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,875

Okay, so I'm gonna have

my Retributor Squad

00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,877

attack your

Stormhawk Interceptor.

00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,504

Okay, that has

a toughness of 7

00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,464

and a -1

to your hit rolls.

00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,216

[rattles dice, throws]

00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,218

Okay, so that's

three, four, five hits.

00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,345

Okay, I'm gonna roll

my saving throw, which is 3+.

00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,139

[rattles dice, throws]

- What in the actual fuck

00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,724

are you guys doing?

00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,183

We're playing "40k."

00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,020

You guys have wasted

another day of spring break

00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,814

with this stupid shit.

- [rattles dice, throws]

00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,900

Do you guys know

what spring break is about?

00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,820

Wet t-shirt contests,

mud wrestling.

00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,739

Don't you wanna get

some bitches over here?

00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,824

I thought you were happy

'cause the bitches were gone?

00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,284

I'm happy

the bitches are gone

00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,952

so we can have bitches over!

00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,246

Spring break is dude time.

00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,914

But you know what,

00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,042

today's society

has ruined it all.

00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,921

They've taught you boys

to be ashamed of being boys.

00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:43,426

Convinced you that your natural

innate male desires are toxic.

00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,804

No matter what the liberals

try to tell you, boys,

00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,348

you shouldn't be ashamed

of your gender.

00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:52,101

Okay, Dad. So I've got

an Imperium infantry unit

00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,311

within six inches

of Celestine,

00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,063

so they have a +6 save.

00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,607

My God.

00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,401

What are we going to do?

00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:04,864

[club music pounding]

00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,909

[waves crashing]

00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,786

I'm going to sleep.

00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,454

I'm gonna go to sleep now.

00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,790

♪ I feel so alone ♪

00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,667

Here I go... to sleep.

00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,337

[exhales]

[club music continues]

00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,880

Rick?

00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:27,929

♪ ♪

00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,306

♪ Go, look at me ♪

00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,808

♪ ♪

00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,851

♪ I feel so alone ♪

00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,813

♪ ♪

00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,022

♪ Come on ♪

00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,650

♪ ♪

00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,152

♪ Move with me ♪

00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,695

♪ Look at me ♪

00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,824

♪ ♪

00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,076

♪ I feel so alone ♪

00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,787

♪ ♪

00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,038

♪ Come on ♪

00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,499

♪ ♪

00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,168

Can I help you

find any--oh, my God!

00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,336

Sir, you're back!

00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,004

Yeah, just browsing.

00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,340

You guys, it's him!

He's here!

00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,466

- Oh, wow, it is him!

- It's him?

00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,592

[crowd clamoring]

00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,844

Is that really you?

00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,220

What are you doing here?

00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,763

Could I get

a selfie with you?

00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,723

Hey, uh, since you're here,

00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,100

you wanna rally a little bit?

00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,852

No, no. I can't rally

00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,271

I've got a serious boyfriend.

I'm just looking around.

00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,398

Oh, come on. When are you

gonna be here again?

00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,566

Live a little!

00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,026

Well, maybe I could do

just a little bit.

00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,862

I mean, wha--

00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,865

What the hell is up

with all these Mexicans? Huh?

00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,533

[cheering]

00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,119

Yeah! I mean--I mean,

Joe Biden obviously thinks

00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,954

immigrants are made of gold

or something.

00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,206

Piece of shit!

[cheering]

00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,584

Yeah! Yeah!

00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,045

[knocking]

00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,924

Hey, Steven.

You know your son's

00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,759

been over at my house

for spring break?

00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,553

Yeah, of course I know.

00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,055

Well, you should see

what they're doing,

00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,892

'cause it's a little hrrrp.

00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,393

Well--well,

what are they doing?

00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,937

Look, I just think

we better talk with our boys

00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,398

to counteract all the ways

in which society

00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:05,193

has been pathologizing masculinity.

00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,570

I mean, you went balls-out

on spring break, right?

00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,281

Tried to see chicks' boobs

and stuff?

00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,325

Mm, no I didn't.

00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,410

Well, no, I mean,

you weren't ashamed

00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,995

of being a guy, right?

00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,246

Like, you went out to the lake

00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,582

and tried to play grab ass

with girls, right?

00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,501

No, I did not.

00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:25,087

Why--why are you saying that?

00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,924

Why are you making

those words with your mouth?

00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,301

Oh, hey, Randy.

Everything okay with the boys?

00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,386

Ohh, right.

00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,472

Sorry--sorry, yeah,

everything's great.

00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,183

They're playing a little

table miniatures game.

00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,352

It's great.

00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,812

Just, uh, came to let you know

they're good.

00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:42,939

[under breath]

Don't worry.

00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,982

I'm gonna take care of it.

00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,777

I'll tell you what else.

00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,820

This whole situation

in the Ukraine,

00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,572

that wouldn't be happening

on my watch.

00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,032

[cheers and applause]

00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,410

The problem is now we all have

a president who's afraid.

00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,497

And that's why Joe and the ho

have got to go!

00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,831

[cheers and applause]

[cell phone rings]

00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,667

And I'll tell you

another thing.

00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,460

It's--oh, hang on a second.

00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,213

{\an8}Oh, crap.

00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,631

{\an8}Ho--hold on a second, everybody.

00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,800

Uh--

[shushing]

00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,010

[clears throat]

[answers phone]

00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,971

Oh, hey, Rick!

00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,180

Where are you?

00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,557

I couldn't sleep, Rick.

00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,891

I was just tossing and turning

00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,142

and I didn't wanna wake you up,

00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,645

so I decided to come out

and buy some sunscreen

00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,313

and stuff

for our beach day tomorrow.

00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,023

Oh, okay.

00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,567

I got scared

that you were out rallying.

00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,861

Ohh, geez,

well, that's silly.

00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:33,072

Last thing I wanna do

is rally.

00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,532

Listen up--

get back to sleep, Rick.

00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,950

I'll--I'll be right home, okay?

00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,536

Okay. Sorry for panicking. Bye.

00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,329

Bye-bye.

[hangs up]

00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,789

Okay, uh, nice to meet you, everybody.

00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,165

I need to get going.

00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,959

Oh, come on. Just rally

with us a little bit more.

00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,252

No, I really can't.

00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,254

Just a few more minutes.

Come on!

00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,174

All right, I guess I can

rally just a little bit longer.

00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,051

I mean, after all,

I am here for you.

00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,345

I am your warrior!

00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,763

Liberal left!

00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,473

Hunter Biden laptop!

00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:00,850

[cheers and applause]

00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,311

Yeah! Yeah!

00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,319

[snoring]

00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,532

Uh--

00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,868

Ugh. Oh, geez.

00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,828

Herb?

Herb, you gotta get up.

00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,872

We're gonna miss

our whole beach day.

00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,875

Oh, it's--it's just

the time change, Rick.

00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,043

You enjoy the beach.

00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,587

I just gotta sleep

a little longer.

00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,088

Okay.

00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:33,632

[snoring]

00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:36,802

[chatter, waves crashing]

00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,765

[somber music]

00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:46,062

♪ ♪

00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:49,732

[rattles dice, throws]

00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,941

Dude, it's so awesome

being able

00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,234

to leave "Warhammer"

set up all night

00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,361

and come back to it

in the morning.

00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,363

I know, it's great.

00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,240

Hey, hey, you guys.

What did you do?

00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,242

- What do you mean?

- I mean the cops are here.

00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,827

What did you guys do?

00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,498

We're just continuing our

game of "40k" from last night.

00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,916

Okay, you guys,

just stop

00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,085

'cause the police wanna ask you

some questions.

00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,419

Come on in, officers.

00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,588

[cracking whip]

Hello, gentlemen.

00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,756

Hands up.

00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,175

We heard somebody in here's

been bad.

00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,844

Oh, no, guys. Looks like

you're in big trouble.

00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,638

You better read 'em

their rights.

00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,306

Hey, whoa, whoa!

Don't touch the models.

00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,599

We spent a long time on this.

00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,017

Stan, stop with that shit.

00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,185

Come on, get into it.

00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,354

Wet t-shirt contest!

00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,106

Hey, what the fuck?

00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,400

- What?

- Hey, you fuck guy!

00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,151

You do not harass the ladies!

00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,445

Well, I wanted strippers,

not prudes.

00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,739

[cocks gun]

You wanna talk, big man? Huh?

00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,366

You wanna be big man?

00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,742

Whoa, whoa, okay. I--

00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,328

I think I need to explain

something to you, okay?

00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,622

Look, I'm just trying to combat

the messages

00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,624

that the liberal left

is putting out to young men

00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,460

about their male instincts

being toxic.

00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,837

The fuck you talking?

00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,463

You know,

I'm trying to show my son

00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,507

and his nerdy little friend

what a real party is

00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,551

'cause society wants them

to be ashamed

00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,678

of their masculine natures.

00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,097

- You want real party?

- Yeah!

00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,558

Truth is, I got a whole barn

full of weed.

00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,811

I will call some friends.

00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,652

The person you are

trying to reach

00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,154

cannot be located.

00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,448

Please leave a message.

[beep]

00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,699

Where are you?

00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,742

I got back from the beach

and you were gone.

00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,244

Please pick up.

00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,920

[club music pounding]

00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,005

♪ ♪

00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,090

[lively chatter]

00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,383

♪ ♪

00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,094

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,680

[crowd cheering]

00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,390

♪ ♪

00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,350

And we're gonna take Georgia,

00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,061

and--and we're gonna

take Arizona this time!

00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,521

[cheering]

00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,191

And when I say we're gonna take

Arizona in the election,

00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,734

I--I mean we're gonna

take it again.

00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,069

'cause we all know

I won it last time, too!

00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,905

Oh.

00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:03,365

Oh. Hey, everybody.

00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,742

This is Rick.

00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,870

♪ ♪

00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,373

Rick! Rick,

will you just wait!

00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,751

You know it's 2:00

in the morning?

00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,545

I was alone at the hotel

while you were out rallying!

00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,215

I just wanted to rally

for a little bit.

00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,675

Yeah, you really look like

you just rallied a little bit.

00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,053

I got a text

that Tucker was in town,

00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,514

and I just wanted to go rally

for a little bit.

00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,016

You really think those people

care about you, Herb?

00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,769

They don't.

They just wanna do that.

00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,563

Rick, I got it

out of my system now.

00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,232

We can still have

a great vacation.

00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,900

Let's just start over tomorrow.

00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,610

Okay?

00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:44,323

[electronic music blaring]

[excited chatter]

00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,702

♪ ♪

00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,330

Right, all right,

let's do this!

00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,373

Okay, you ready?

00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,917

Three, two, one. Go!

00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,253

[cheering]

Check it out, guys!

00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,297

Ahh! [laughs]

00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,590

Huh? Whoa!

[snapping]

00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,425

[crashing]

00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,427

♪ ♪

00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,263

Sir, do you think

you can walk?

00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,098

[muffled]

No, I don't think so.

00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,433

Sir, we think you've had

too much to drink,

00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,269

and we should probably

take you to the hospital.

00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,312

No, I can't.

I have to stay here

00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,022

'cause I'm in charge

of my son.

00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,483

Today's woke culture

has vilified his manhood

00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,193

and made him ashamed

of himself.

00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,904

Okay, sir, but it appears

you have a broken arm

00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,447

and several fractured ribs.

00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,074

Yeah, but I can't leave

00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,618

because my son's natural

instincts are being suppressed

00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,704

and it's leading

to behavioral problems.

00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,289

You see the shit he's doing?

00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,958

He's over there

playing with dolls.

00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,342

It's pretty good fondue, right?

00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,721

We should probably

just go back to the hotel.

00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,723

You've got the shakes

from rallying all night.

00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,350

No, no, Rick.

This is our vacation.

00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,977

I want us to have a nice

00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,812

romantic lunch.

[retches]

00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,064

Maybe we should

just go back to Colorado.

00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,026

No, Rick.

I'm gonna make this up to you.

00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,611

I don't wanna rally anymore.

00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,154

There's just a lot of people

out there

00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,156

who won't let it go, you know?

00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,824

Yes, and you can't

be around them.

00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,826

I know, I know.

00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,244

Let me just--

00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,997

Let me just go throw up

because I'll feel much better.

00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,166

Okay, go throw up, Herb.

00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,964

[vomits]

00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,553

Oh, God.

00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,764

Come on, just stop. Stop.

00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,349

The country is fine.

00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,017

You have better things to do.

00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,144

[door opens]

00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,815

[stall door creaks]

00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,115

[taps]

00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,874

Yeah, oh yeah!

That's it! Yeah!

00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,293

We're gonna get abortion rights

thrown the hell out

00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,338

so those dirty lesbians

can't keep having abortions!

00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,131

Yeah! Oh, yeah, man!

00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,592

We're gonna get those Black

Lives Matter protestors

00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,469

off the streets

with a fire hose!

00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,721

Yeah, America!

both: Yeah!

00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,889

Rick!

00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,849

Fuck you.

00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,436

Well, to hell with you!

00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,063

Nobody controls me!

00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,274

- Yeah!

- Yeah! America! Yeah!

00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,071

[electronic music pounding]

00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,825

[police radio chatter]

00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,743

♪ ♪

00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,203

[knock at door]

00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,373

Can I help you?

00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,083

We've had some complaints

about a party

00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,001

that's been going on

for three days here.

00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,420

Hey, what's going on?

00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,046

[laughs]

00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,424

All right, guys,

who ordered the stripper?

00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,551

Can we come in

and look around, sir?

00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,594

Oh, yeah! Come on in.

00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,596

[smack]

Honk honk!

00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,973

All right,

get down on the ground!

00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,016

Whoa, whoa! No, no, no.

It's okay.

00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,309

I'm just helping my boy

00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,978

through the media assault

on manliness.

00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:04,189

[Taser crackles]

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,774

I need to see some ID, sir.

00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:08,777

Uh! Okay!

Okay, Stan! Stan!

00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,696

[rattles dice, throws]

- Yeah?

00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,115

Can you get my wallet

from the upstairs?

00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,284

Yeah, soon as we're done

with this psyker phase.

00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,702

I have five psyker units.

00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,038

{\an8}Oh, my God.

This is so embarrassing.

00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,167

Hey! Freeze!

You, right there!

00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,295

That's Alonzo Fineski,

the Romanian sex trafficker!

00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,713

Fuck you, big man!

00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,048

[fires gun]

00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,466

[gunfire]

00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,176

Ahh! Oh, my God!

00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,011

- [grunts]

- Ahh!

00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:37,097

[gunfire]

00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,975

Stan? Stan?

00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:43,020

{\an8}[indistinct chatter,

PA announcement]

00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,023

{\an8}[somber music]

00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,776

♪ ♪

00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,694

And now,

ladies and gentlemen,

00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,613

here he is,

00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,990

the once and future president

00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,992

of the United States

of America!

00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,995

[cheers and applause]

00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,460

Thank you.

I am here today

00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,712

{\an8}for those who have

been wronged.

00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,214

{\an8}[cheering]

00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,425

{\an8}For those who have been betrayed.

00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,719

{\an8}And let me tell you

00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:19,681

{\an8}that nobody in this country

has been betrayed more

00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,975

{\an8}than my Ricky Rick.

00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,936

{\an8}Huh? What?

[confused clamoring]

00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,523

{\an8}Rick, I am so sorry.

00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,358

And if you are out there,

00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,194

I want you to know

that I love you.

00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,279

You are the only thing

that keeps me from doing

00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,740

all this stupid stuff.

00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,701

When I met you,

I felt in control of myself

00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,620

for the first time.

00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:45,415

{\an8}There has never been anyone

who calmed me down more

00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,544

{\an8}than my little Ricky Bear.

00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,587

{\an8}You are my boo.

00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:54,591

Did he just say

that Rick is his boo?

00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:58,720

The truth is, some of us

simply can't be alone.

00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,725

We need a relationship so that

we're accountable to someone.

00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:06,812

I realize now

how broken I am

00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:11,400

without that person who keeps

me from destroying myself.

00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,901

Sh-Sharon?

00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:16,613

And all I've ever done

was take you for granted

00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,324

and wished I wasn't

being controlled.

00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,286

[sobbing]

Hi, Sharon.

00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,414

Will you please come home?

00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:29,001

Rick, I am a giant

piece of shit without you.

00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,587

I don't deserve

another chance.

00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,297

You have been wronged.

00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,757

You have been betrayed.

00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:40,929

{\an8}And the only person

who deserves retribution is me.

00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:46,101

I know you all really want

to rally and rage, but...

00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,271

the only thing

I have to say is...

00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:53,400

{\an8}is that I love Rick.

[pounding podium]

00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,238

{\an8}I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,574

[together]

I love Rick.

00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,367

I love Rick.

00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:06,997

I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,166

[all chanting]

I love Rick!

00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,876

I love Rick!

- I love you, Rick!

00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,004

all: I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,131

I love Rick!

- Yeah!

00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,759

all: I love Rick!

[all clamoring]

00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,969

I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,805

I love Rick! I love Rick!

00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,015

I love Rick!

00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,934

Oh, crap.

Here we go again!

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,685

all: I love Rick!

I love Rick!

00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:29,853

I love--

00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:33,941

[sobbing softly]

00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,118

It's okay, Randy.

We're back.

00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:49,039

I'm sorry

I cut your trip short.

00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,707

[sighs] It's okay, Randy.

00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,126

You made it longer

than last spring break.

00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,884

- Oh. Hey, Mom.

- Stanley,

00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,552

what have I told you

about playing "Warhammer"

00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,138

on the kitchen table?

- Aw!

00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,573

Oh, Rick!

00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,912

I don't wanna go

through all that again.

00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:32,290

I just wanna stay

in South Park with you.

00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:36,169

Well, I guess we'll just

have to see what happens.

00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,888

[twangy music]

00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,477

[twangy music]

00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:59,526

♪ ♪

00:00:03,882 --> 00:00:06,032

В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ,

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ

00:00:09,162 --> 00:00:12,162

Соберу я свой рюкзак и поеду в Саус Парк.

00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:15,732

Дружелюбный здесь народ, благочестие цветёт.

00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:18,852

В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь и печали забываешь.

00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:22,522

Стоит только выйти в свет,

все кричат: «Привет, сосед!».

00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,692

В Саус Парке не печалься, отдыхай и расслабляйся.

00:00:28,972 --> 00:00:31,952

В Саус Парке ждут тебя мои верные друзья.

00:01:50,105 --> 00:01:51,995

ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ

00:03:13,624 --> 00:03:16,436

БРОДВЕЙ НА ПЛЯЖЕ

00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:04,924

МАГАЗИН «СДЕЛАЕМ АМЕРИКУ СНОВА ВЕЛИКОЙ»

00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,540

ГАРРИСОН

СПАСЁМ АМЕРИКУ

00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,109

ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ

00:06:32,506 --> 00:06:34,280

МАГАЗИН «СДЕЛАЕМ АМЕРИКУ СНОВА ВЕЛИКОЙ»

00:07:40,289 --> 00:07:41,617

ТРАВА РЕСПЕКТОВОСТИ

00:09:04,904 --> 00:09:06,242

РИК

00:10:46,169 --> 00:10:48,059

ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ

00:12:27,886 --> 00:12:29,886

«СДЕЛАЕМ АМЕРИКУ СНОВА ВЕЛИКОЙ»

СБОР СЕГОДНЯ ВЕЧЕРОМ

00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:43,235

ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ

00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:29,017

ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ

00:17:40,373 --> 00:17:43,433

АЭРОПОРТ МИРТЛ-БИЧ

00:19:17,453 --> 00:19:19,253

ШЕРОН

00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:31,662

ФЕРМЫ НАДЁЖНОСТИ

00:00:04,060 --> 00:00:05,150

ГОЛОСИ ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ

СПАРОДІЙОВАНО... ЩЕ Й КЕПСЬКО. У СЕРІАЛІ

00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:06,270

Є ГРУБА ЛЕКСИКА І ВІН НЕ

РЕКОМЕНДУЄТЬСЯ ДЛЯ ПЕРЕГЛЯДУ НІКОМУ.

00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:12,780

Їду я у Саус Парк

Проведу тут гарно час

00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:16,120

Всюди дружні тут обличчя

І привітні повсякчас

00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:19,380

Пхаюсь я у Саус Парк

Щоб забути всі проблеми

00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:22,940

Паркінг є тут за потреби

Люди кличуть: «Гей, сусідо!»

00:00:23,010 --> 00:00:26,120

Пруся я у Саус Парк

Трохи випустити пар

00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,900

Приїжджайте й ви сюди

Будуть друзі всі мої

00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,360

ПЛЯЖНИЙ БРОДВЕЙ

МАГАЗИНИ-РЕСТОРАНИ-РОЗВАГИ

00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:05,700

МАГАЗИН MAGA*

*ПОВЕРНЕМО АМЕРИЦІ ВЕЛИЧ

00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,400

ҐАРРІСОН ВРЯТУЄ АМЕРИКУ

00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:07,000

РІК <3 <3 <3< p>

00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,200

ВЖЕ СЬОГОДНІ КОНФЕРЕНЦІЯ MAGA!

ВПЕРЕД У ВИБОРИ 2024!

00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,240

МІЖНАРОДНИЙ АЕРОПОРТ МІРТЛ-БІЧ

00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,000

ШЕРОН

Скриншоты