Мировой тур в защиту частной жизни

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Тысячи канадцев собрались со скорбью

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об уходе их любимой матери.

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Королева мертва.

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♪ Королева мертва ♪

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Каждый канадец на планете

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прямо сейчас чувствует абсолютную пустоту

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♪ О, Боже, она мертва ♪

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И теперь гроб несут к алтарю

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с королевой внутри.

♪ О, Боже, нет, только не она ♪

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Тело королевы несут королевские гвардейцы.

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Какой ужасный день для Канады и всего мира.

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Айк... Айк, перестань, чувак, сколько можно

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♪ Она мертва ♪

Она мертва.

Она мертва, Кайл.

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Айк, Королева умерла месяца четыре назад.

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Ты должен отпустить

♪ И ушла навсегда ♪

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А вот и самый любимый музыкант Канады,

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Сэр Смелли Джон.

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Да, Смелли Джон сидит за пианино

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с посвящением для королевы, я полагаю.

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♪ Прощай, королева ♪

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♪ Похоже, ты издала последний вздох вагиной ♪

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Так, уже 7:00.

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теперь моя очередь за компьютером.

Нет!

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Айк, мы с друзьями сейчас играем в "Darktide".

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Слезай!

Иди нахер, Кайл!

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О, а теперь люди начинают злобно пялиться.

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Д-да, похоже, что принц и его новая жена

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только что пришли.

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Принц и его жена, конечно,

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они критиковали канадскую монархию.

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Многие канадцы теперь их ненавидят.

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О, и я полагаю, что граф Галифакс

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только что пернул на лицо жены принца!

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Принц, кажется, обиделся на это.

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О, вот это уже плохо

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Айк, я играю в "Darktide" с друзьями.

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Нет, отвали от меня!

Айк, черт возьми, уходи!

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Привет, пацаны.

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Кайл, чел, где ты был вчера вечером?

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Да, мы все ждали.

Я понимаю, что вы думаете,

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что я вас подвожу, но..

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но меня поимел мой младший брат.

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Он все время оплакивает королеву

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А тут еще этот принц с его женой

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и они ругают канадскую монархию.

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Я думаю, что люди вообще не понимают

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зачем они пришли на похороны.

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Ну, короче, простите если игру вам испортил

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Ты ничего не испортил.

Мы играли без тебя.

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Что? Народ, но.. мы же договорились, что вместе будем прокачиваться

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Ну, да, сейчас мы все 12-го уровня.

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У нас выпал крутой шмот, чел

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<крутой шмот, чел>

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Но это нечестно, я же не виноват

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Привет, пацаны.

Ты проапгрейдил пушку, Стэн?

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Да, теперь дальность стрельбы намного лучше.

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А ты?

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Я оставил ту же, но зато выпал клёвый шмот

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Класс, крутой шмот, чувак

<ага, крутой шмот>

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Отстой, правда?

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Что отстой?

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Когда люди делают о тебе выводы

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Я наблюдал за тобой, Кайл,

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и вижу, что у тебя проблемы с брендом

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С брендом?

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Понимаешь, у каждого есть свой имидж, Кайл.

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Некоторые называют это твоим авторитетом

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или репутацией,

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но это лишь маленькие части

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чего-то гораздо более важного -

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твоего бренда.

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Подумай об этом, Кайл.

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Кто ты?

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Я просто... Я - это я.

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Видишь? Ты не знаешь, какой у тебя бренд

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И как кто-то другой должен узнать?

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Представь, есть реклама Кайла,

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но на банке нет этикетки

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Баттерс, это как-то не в твоем духе

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Это потому, что я работал над своим брендом.

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Родители увидели, что мой бренд людям не нравится

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поэтому они отправили меня на бренд-менеджмент

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Бренд-менеджмент?

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Здравствуйте, мистер Дэвис.

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Баттерс Стотч.

Как дела, Баттерс?

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Как дела с брендом?

Отлично.

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Я завел двух новых друзей, а одна девочка попросила меня

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помочь ей с домашкой.

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Ну вот и здорово, Баттерс.

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Мой друг Кайл тоже решил переделать свой бренд,

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и я сказал ему, что вы можете помочь.

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О, ну, конечно, Кайл,

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давай-ка ты заполнишь анкету

CumHammer,

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а потом мы пойдем подберем

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несколько вариантов для тебя.

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Прямой эфир из телевизионной студии в Торонто,

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это "Доброе утро, Канада".

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Прошло уже несколько месяцев

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с тех пор, как умерла наша любимая королева.

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Всем канадцам трудно жить дальше

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Всем кроме наших первых гостей,

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Принца и его жены.

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Мы хотим уединения!

Мы хотим приватности!

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Спасибо, что пригласили нас сегодня

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Так здорово быть здесь.

Это здорово.

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Позвольте начать с вас, сэр.

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Вы прожили жизнь в королевской семье,

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вам подавали всё на блюдечке

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но вы говорите, что ваша жизнь была трудной,

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и вы написали об этом в своей новой книге "Waaagh".

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Да, это так, дружище.

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Мы с женой, значит...

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Я сказала: "Ты должен написать книгу

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потому что твоя семья, типа, глупая,

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и журналисты тоже".

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Так вы ненавидите журналистов?

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Именно так.

И теперь вы написали книгу

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в которой речь о жизни королевской семьи

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Верно.

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Значит, вы журналист.

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Мы просто хотим быть нормальными людьми.

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Все это внимание так тяжело.

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Разве это не правда, сэр, что ваша сомнительная жена

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ведет собственное телешоу и тусуется со знаменитостями.

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и снимается для модных журналов?

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На что вы намекаете?

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Ну, я полагаю, некоторые могут сказать

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что ваша жена-инстасучка

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на самом деле не хочет приватности

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Да как вы смеете, сэр!

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Моя жена-инстасучка всегда хотела приватности!

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И знаете, что еще? К черту Канаду.

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Мы уезжаем.

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Мы найдем какое-нибудь тихое место

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где мы сможем быть нормальными людьми.

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Пойдем, жена.

Нам нужна личная жизнь!

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Мы хотим приватности!

Мы хотим уединения!

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♪ Давай, давай, давай, давай, давай, давай ♪

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности ♪

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♪ Давай, давай, давай, давай, давай, давай ♪

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Мы хотим приватности!

Уважайте нашу личную жизнь!

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности ♪

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Мы хотим приватности!

Мы хотим уединения!

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♪ Потому что мы хотим приватности ♪

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности ♪

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♪ Давай, давай, давай, давай♪

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♪ Потому что нам нужна приватность ♪

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности ♪

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Мы хотим приватности!

Мы хотим приватности!

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♪ Всемирный тур приватности скоро приедет в ваш

город♪

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♪ Мы скоро приедем в ваш город, дайте нам уединение♪

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Мы хотим приватности!

Уважайте нашу личную жизнь!

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♪ Давай, давай, давай♪

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности♪

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♪ Давай, давай, давай, давай, давай, давай♪

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности ♪

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♪ Давай, давай, давай, давай ♪

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♪ Потому что мы хотим немного приватности ♪

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♪ Это всемирный тур приватности ♪

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Итак, Кайл, мы рассмотрели твои ответы,

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и подобрали несколько отличных идей для твоего бренда.

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Ты хочешь больше нравиться людям,

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и чтобы тебя считали крутым.

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Это так?

Да.

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Хорошо, посмотрим, как этот бренд тебе подойдет

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Значит.. Кайл...

Стойкий. Веган. Сострадательный. Жертва.

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Не очень-то на меня похоже

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Ну, ничего, у нас есть много разных

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привлекательных брендов.

Как насчет этого?

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Кайл - Чувствительный. Любит прогулки. Экономный.

Жертва.

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Я не... Я не такой любитель прогулок.

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Ладно, запомни, Кайл,

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дело не столько в том, кто ты, сколько в том

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что привлекает людей, ясно?

00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:41,410

Давай посмотрим ещё?

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Кайл... Богатый. Красавчик.

00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,883

Разносторонне одаренный лауреат премии Грэмми. Жертва.

00:07:47,883 --> 00:07:49,218

О... это уже занято.

00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,953

Извините. Минуту.

00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,221

Не волнуйся, Кайл.

00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,722

Мы найдем для тебя хороший вариант.

00:07:53,722 --> 00:07:54,957

Вот увидишь, Кайл.

00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:56,725

Когда ты раскрутишь свой бренд

00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:58,327

никто не сможет тебя остановить.

00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:05,301

Взгляни на этот город.

В нем что-то есть.

00:08:06,302 --> 00:08:08,904

О, дорогая. Я думаю, это может быть то самое место.

00:08:08,904 --> 00:08:11,540

Ты правда так думаешь?

00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:13,409

Здесь так тихо и пусто.

00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,778

Если мы переедем сюда, то люди подумают

00:08:15,778 --> 00:08:18,414

что мы всерьез хотим быть нормальными.

00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,216

По моему, просто идеально

00:08:21,216 --> 00:08:23,319

Здесь мы сможем начать с чистого листа.

00:08:23,319 --> 00:08:25,421

Вести нормальную жизнь и завести детей.

00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,158

Правда? Мы правда можем переехать сюда и наконец-то уединиться?

00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:33,162

Любовь моя, я сделаю все для твоей приватности.

00:08:53,782 --> 00:08:55,451

Диван в первую комнату!

00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,786

Эй, осторожнее с телевизором, приятель!

00:08:57,786 --> 00:08:59,788

Барабанная установка - на втором этаже.

00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:01,090

Погоди. Положи здесь.

00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,725

Я хочу убедиться, что она в порядке

00:09:03,926 --> 00:09:05,494

Какого черта?

00:09:09,865 --> 00:09:11,667

Эй!

Эй, ты!

00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:14,036

Эй,

на что ты смотришь?!

00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:16,605

Ты когда-нибудь слышал о конфиденциальности?!

00:09:16,605 --> 00:09:17,740

Что?

00:09:21,944 --> 00:09:24,713

Пацаны, простите

00:09:24,713 --> 00:09:26,815

Я очень хотел сыграть с вами онлайн

00:09:26,815 --> 00:09:28,283

но принц Канады и его жена

00:09:28,283 --> 00:09:31,019

теперь живут через дорогу от меня

00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,955

У них огромный самолет, прямо перед нашим домом

00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:35,157

и они пытались заставить меня купить их дурацкую книгу.

00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:38,160

и... и, в общем, мне жаль, что я испортил еще один вечер

00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,828

Все нормально, чувак, мы отлично провели время

00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:42,364

Да, мы буквально обмазываемся шмотками

00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,999

Я просто хочу, чтобы вы знали

00:09:43,999 --> 00:09:48,203

что я надежный, веселый, пунктуальный. И жертва.

00:09:48,203 --> 00:09:50,205

Окей, ну, нам пора в класс

00:09:53,709 --> 00:09:56,145

Я работаю над собой!

00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:58,113

Вам понравится результат!

00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:07,290

В детстве вы видите мир по-другому.

00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,959

Вы видите чудеса природы, и начинаете узнавать

00:10:09,959 --> 00:10:12,462

всё больше о себе.

00:10:12,462 --> 00:10:14,964

И понимаете, что есть что-то более важное

00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:18,768

чем вы могли подумать - ваш бренд.

00:10:18,768 --> 00:10:20,603

Это то, что определяет вас.

00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:22,538

И с бренд-менеджментом вы будете уверены,

00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,809

что другие увидят вас таким, каким они хотят вас видеть.

00:10:26,809 --> 00:10:29,812

Добро пожаловать в пособие по работе с CumHammer

00:10:29,812 --> 00:10:32,715

Вы делаете первые шаги, чтобы сделать свой бренд

00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,217

потрясающим.

00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,119

Вы уже получили рабочую тетрадь

00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:37,887

а также инструмент для создания слайдов бренда

00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,989

и флешку CumHammer для социальных сетей

00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:42,392

которые будут использованы в этом видео.

00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,861

Если вы готовы, давайте приступим к упражнениям

00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,896

на пятой странице вашей рабочей тетради.

00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:54,737

Да!

00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,906

Уважайте нашу личную жизнь!

Оставьте нас в покое!

00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,042

Оставьте нас в покое!

00:10:59,042 --> 00:11:00,676

Долой монархию!

00:11:00,676 --> 00:11:02,445

Мы просто хотим приватности!

00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,883

Боже, пошли они нахер!

00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,484

Почему мы сегодня такие злые?

00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:10,853

Потому что мы хотим приватности!

00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:15,391

Полицейский участок округа.

Что у вас случилось?

00:11:15,391 --> 00:11:17,527

Соседи напротив запускают фейерверки

00:11:17,527 --> 00:11:19,529

а сейчас 10:30 вечера!

00:11:19,529 --> 00:11:21,097

О, это принц Канады и его жена,

00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,565

которые просто хотят, чтобы их оставили в покое?

00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,600

Да.

00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,503

Они ужасно шумят, а я пытаюсь работать над своим брендом!

00:11:27,503 --> 00:11:28,871

О, черт возьми.

00:11:28,871 --> 00:11:30,440

Теперь принц играет в поло на лужайке!

00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:36,879

Мы здесь, потому что неприкосновенность личной

жизни - это основное право

00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:39,182

Сколько еще принцев и их жен

00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:41,284

должны жить в этом кошмаре?

00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:46,389

Эй, вы двое

Нельзя, блять, потише?!

00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:47,857

Ой!

00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:49,292

Ты слышал о такой вещи, как "частная жизнь"?!

00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,726

Да, всем насрать.

00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:52,562

Может, вы просто заткнетесь и уйдете?!

00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:59,235

Я с ума схожу!

00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:02,105

Принц весь день играет на барабанах.

Не похоже, что у него вообще есть работа.

00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:04,240

А что она делает подавно не представляю

00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,109

Зачем они вообще уехали из Канады - ума не приложу.

00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:07,944

А она просто командует им,

00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,245

и заставляет его делать все, что она хочет.

00:12:09,245 --> 00:12:10,580

Почему они вообще уехали из Канады

00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,982

и переехали в Южный Парк?

00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,951

Стэн, ты хотел что-то сказать?

00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,452

Скажи.

00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:17,787

Что сказать?

00:12:17,787 --> 00:12:19,255

Слушай, Кайл...

00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:20,957

Нам типа плевать на какого-то тупого принца

00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,558

и его тупую жену.

00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,260

Мне тоже на них плевать!

00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:27,263

Тогда почему ты все время о них говоришь?

00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,667

Чел, нам просто надоело о них слушать.

00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,969

Мне надоело о них слушать!

00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,637

Но я не могу никуда деться!

00:12:34,637 --> 00:12:36,806

Они повсюду!

Прям, бля, передо мной!

00:12:36,806 --> 00:12:38,841

Да, а ты выставляешь их, бля, перед нами

00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,177

Ладно, больше не буду про них говорить.

00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,645

Спасибо.

00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,519

Да и последнее - вы знали, что принц спит...

00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:52,054

Простите.

Простите!

00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:57,460

Твоя проблема в том, что ты хочешь результатов без работы

00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,128

Нельзя сказать, что-то про себя

00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:01,964

и ждать, что людям просто понравится твой бренд.

00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,967

Ты должен работать над этим, продавать его людям.

00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:06,469

Но я просто не чувствую, что мой бренд

00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:08,638

это то, кто я на самом деле.

00:13:08,638 --> 00:13:10,106

Знаешь, Кайл, некоторые люди думают

00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,974

что важно то, что внутри тебя.

00:13:11,974 --> 00:13:14,644

Но люди не могут видеть тебя изнутри.

00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:16,946

Они могут видеть только то, что ты пьёшь

00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:18,514

Это главное.

00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:19,982

Думаю, да.

00:13:19,982 --> 00:13:21,551

Я помогу тебе с новым брендом,

00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,619

но ты должен поработать над ним.

00:13:23,619 --> 00:13:26,389

Что ты хочешь, чтобы твои друзья думали о тебе?

00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:29,792

Я хочу, чтобы они думали, что я не буду жаловаться,

00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:31,060

что я более толстокожий.

00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,129

Хорошо. Это хорошо.

Это хорошо.

00:13:33,129 --> 00:13:35,331

И хочу, чтобы люди думали, что я сильнее, ментально,

00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:36,532

чем я могу быть

00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:38,234

Хорошо. Хорошо.

Думаю, у нас получилось.

00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,069

Людям это понравится.

00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,005

Кайл - он толстокожий, супер крутой,

00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:46,375

ничего не беспокоит его.

Жертва.

00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:47,710

Я просто не знаю, смогу ли я...

00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:49,712

Ты уже отходишь от бренда!

00:13:49,712 --> 00:13:54,016

Помни, тебя ничего не беспокоит.

00:14:34,223 --> 00:14:36,559

Мне все равно.

Плевать.

00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:43,899

Какого черта?

Что он сказал?

00:14:43,899 --> 00:14:45,134

Он сделал меня жертвой!

00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,602

Это потому что я

этническая женщина!

00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:48,137

Он не может так поступить!

00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,039

Ты этническая?

Возмутительно!

00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:52,642

Посмотрим, что он скажет о моем синем члене!

00:15:10,226 --> 00:15:11,661

Эй!

00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,563

Уважай мою личную жизнь!

00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,656

Не волнуйся, любовь моя,

00:15:40,656 --> 00:15:44,060

ему это с рук не сойдет.

00:16:06,868 --> 00:16:08,770

Привет, народ!

Как дела?

00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:10,271

Хорошо.

Как ты?

00:16:10,271 --> 00:16:12,374

Отлично.

Хорошо выспался вчера.

00:16:12,374 --> 00:16:14,776

Ничего меня не тревожит, понимаешь?

00:16:14,776 --> 00:16:17,011

Потому что такой уж я парень

00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:20,715

Круто.

00:16:20,715 --> 00:16:22,317

Привет, сыграем в "Darktide" после школы?

00:16:22,317 --> 00:16:25,120

Если нет, то неважно. Мне всё равно ок.

00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,122

Да, можно попробовать

00:16:27,122 --> 00:16:29,524

Круто. Неважно.

Я беззаботен и невозмутим.

00:16:29,524 --> 00:16:31,025

Увидимся за ланчем!

00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,029

Вау, Кайл, ты выглядишь совсем другим.

00:16:35,029 --> 00:16:36,231

Тебе нравится?

00:16:36,231 --> 00:16:37,832

Конечно.

00:16:37,832 --> 00:16:39,367

Спасибо, Джимми.

00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:41,069

Я должен поблагодарить одного хорошего друга.

00:16:41,069 --> 00:16:43,671

Он познакомил меня со способом стать более устойчивым

00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,073

Ты не видел Баттерса?

00:16:45,073 --> 00:16:46,875

Баттерса? Конечно.

00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,243

Он на площадке,

00:16:48,243 --> 00:16:49,644

Биби отпускает ему люлей.

00:16:49,644 --> 00:16:51,045

Что?

00:16:54,816 --> 00:16:57,585

Еще раз ты такое скажешь!

00:16:57,585 --> 00:16:59,487

Эй!

Стой, стой.

00:16:59,487 --> 00:17:00,922

Что за херня происходит?!

00:17:00,922 --> 00:17:03,057

Я ничего не делала, он подошел

00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:05,059

и начал на меня гнать!

00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:07,595

Всем нравятся сильные и напористые парни,

00:17:07,595 --> 00:17:09,531

поэтому я сказал Биби, чтобы она шла на хрен

00:17:09,531 --> 00:17:11,199

Ты кем себя возомнил?!

00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:12,834

Хочешь еще, тупая шлюха?

00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:14,269

Баттерс,

ты чего несешь?

00:17:14,269 --> 00:17:15,503

Это - не ты

00:17:15,503 --> 00:17:16,905

Эй, Кайл, расслабься.

00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,506

Ты засераешь мой бренд!

00:17:18,506 --> 00:17:20,375

Так, хорош.

Пойдем, Баттерс

00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:22,277

Ты возвращаешься в CumHammer.

00:17:22,277 --> 00:17:24,379

Тебе повезло, что он тебя спас!

00:17:24,379 --> 00:17:27,115

Иди нахуй, сука!

00:17:27,115 --> 00:17:30,852

Самое важное в вашем бренде - быть гибким.

00:17:30,852 --> 00:17:33,455

Мы хотим, что бы вы были абсолютно довольны

00:17:33,455 --> 00:17:35,423

У вас какие-то проблемы?

00:17:35,423 --> 00:17:36,791

Именно так!

00:17:36,791 --> 00:17:38,359

Один несносный шпион,

00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:39,961

который живет в доме напротив

00:17:39,961 --> 00:17:41,896

и мы отомстим ему, изменив наш бренд!

00:17:41,896 --> 00:17:43,231

Хорошо

00:17:43,231 --> 00:17:45,033

Я вижу, что вы есть в нашей базе данных,

00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:47,635

но вы не обращались в этот офис CumHammer?

00:17:47,635 --> 00:17:49,237

Нет.

00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:50,472

Моя жена в детстве ходила в один из них в Калифорнии.

00:17:50,472 --> 00:17:51,906

А, хорошо.

00:17:51,906 --> 00:17:53,208

Тогда вы должны быть в национальной системе.

00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:54,742

Ага, ага.

Это вы?

00:17:54,742 --> 00:17:57,112

"Участница сообщества, актриса,

инфлюенсер, жертва".

00:17:57,112 --> 00:17:59,214

Да.

Это точно я.

00:17:59,214 --> 00:18:00,548

Хорошо. Понятно.

00:18:00,548 --> 00:18:01,749

А потом вы добавила мужа

00:18:01,749 --> 00:18:03,251

в аккаунт "Друзья и семья".

00:18:03,251 --> 00:18:05,053

Вы должно быть "Принц, миллионер,

00:18:05,053 --> 00:18:06,921

путешественник, жертва".

00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:08,656

Точно.

00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:11,326

Давай, Баттерс.

00:18:11,326 --> 00:18:13,394

Здрасьте?

00:18:13,394 --> 00:18:15,063

О, привет.

Дайте мне минутку.

00:18:15,063 --> 00:18:16,798

У меня сейчас другие клиенты, Кайл.

00:18:16,798 --> 00:18:18,600

Нет.

Это срочно.

00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,934

Нам нужно поговорить с...

00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:21,269

Эй, хорош! Хватит вторгаться...

00:18:21,269 --> 00:18:22,904

Это он!

00:18:24,105 --> 00:18:25,473

А вы здесь какого хрена делаете?

00:18:25,473 --> 00:18:27,442

Ты не можешь оставить нас в покое, да?

00:18:27,442 --> 00:18:29,811

О, Боже, он помешался на нас

00:18:29,811 --> 00:18:32,146

Я не помешался на вас

00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:33,848

Всё из-за этого дурацкого места!

00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,453

Ты не понял, Баттерс?

00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:39,988

Учить людей думать, что их бренд

00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,156

поможет нравиться другим

00:18:42,156 --> 00:18:43,825

Всё это неправильно.

00:18:43,825 --> 00:18:46,361

Они говорят вам превратить себя в товар

00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:49,664

а не в людей, которых нужно понимать

и любить

00:18:49,664 --> 00:18:52,100

Разве вы не хотите, чтобы люди любили вас, какими есть

00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:55,670

а не какими они хотят вас видеть?

00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:59,374

Послушайте, у всех есть недостатки. И у меня тоже.

00:18:59,374 --> 00:19:01,809

Но если мы будем подстраивать наш образ

00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:04,546

под окружающих, тогда мы просто артисты

00:19:04,546 --> 00:19:06,948

а не живые люди

00:19:06,948 --> 00:19:08,316

Он прав.

00:19:08,316 --> 00:19:09,651

Попытка превратить себя в бренд

00:19:09,651 --> 00:19:11,152

превращает нас в товар.

00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:14,322

Нам не нужно быть брендом, так?

00:19:14,322 --> 00:19:15,723

Если это то, чего мы хотим,

00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:17,625

то можем всё оставить.

00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:19,627

Больше никаких журналов и сериалов Netflix.

00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:21,563

Мы можем жить нормальной жизнью.

00:19:23,531 --> 00:19:25,166

Да, уверен, ты согласна, дорогая.

00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,502

Мы можем быть теми, кем хотели,

00:19:27,502 --> 00:19:29,571

и больше не беспокоиться о том, как мы выглядим

00:19:29,571 --> 00:19:31,306

и какой образ мы создаем для людей

00:19:31,306 --> 00:19:34,108

Важно то, что у нас внутри.

00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,448

Алло?

00:19:42,684 --> 00:19:44,819

Давай, Баттерс.

Пора домой.

00:19:44,819 --> 00:19:46,588

Да.

00:19:46,588 --> 00:19:49,924

-Да.

-Да.

00:19:49,924 --> 00:19:51,492

Эй.

00:19:51,492 --> 00:19:53,261

Не принимайте решение, о котором вы можете пожалеть.

00:19:57,098 --> 00:19:59,734

Да, пойдем, дорогая.

Нам не нужно это место.

00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:04,238

Дорогая?

00:20:18,453 --> 00:20:21,356

Королева мертва.

00:20:21,356 --> 00:20:23,858

Какой печальный день для Канады - и для всего мира.

00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:26,961

Айк, мне нужно сесть за...

00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:28,563

О нет, только не это.

00:20:28,563 --> 00:20:31,366

Она все еще мертва.

00:20:31,366 --> 00:20:33,034

Айк, мне нужно сесть за компьютер.

00:20:33,034 --> 00:20:34,802

Королева уже давно мертва.

00:20:36,771 --> 00:20:38,740

Айк, я должен собраться с друзьями!

00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:40,475

Иначе они подумают, что я...

00:20:43,811 --> 00:20:45,813

Ничего.

00:20:45,813 --> 00:20:47,715

Такие вещи тебя расстраивают

00:20:47,715 --> 00:20:49,617

Ты такой, какой есть.

00:20:59,394 --> 00:21:01,129

О. Привет, ребята.

00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,930

Привет, чувак. Эм...

00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,932

Мы подумали, что тебе не неплохо бы развеяться

00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:06,501

Правда?

00:21:06,501 --> 00:21:08,102

Мы решили, что неплохо бы вытащить тебя из дома.

00:21:08,102 --> 00:21:10,304

Ты через многое прошел в последнее время.

00:21:10,304 --> 00:21:13,174

Да.

Это правда

00:21:13,174 --> 00:21:15,443

Спасибо, парни.

Буду рад поиграть!

00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,753

Ой! Ой!

00:21:25,753 --> 00:21:27,188

Можно...

00:21:27,188 --> 00:21:28,656

Можно я тоже сыграю?

00:21:28,656 --> 00:21:30,091

Конечно.

Играй.

00:21:30,091 --> 00:21:31,526

Отлично!

00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,847

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,598

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:18,685

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,186

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,105

♪ People spouting,

"howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:25,233

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,653

♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:32,615

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,293

Today is a tragic day

for Canada.

00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,128

Thousands of Canadians

have gathered to mourn

00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,798

the passing

of their beloved mother.

00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,010

The Queen is dead.

00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,971

The Queen is dead ♪

00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,598

Every Canadian everywhere

00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,183

is feeling absolute emptiness

right now.

00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:02,187

Oh, God, she's dead ♪

00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,980

And now the casket

is brought down the aisle

00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,940

with the Queen inside.

00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,109

The Queen's body being carried

by the royal guard.

00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,445

What a horrible day for Canada

and therefore the world.

00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,324

Not the Queen ♪

00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,660

She is dead ♪

00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,163

Ike, the Queen died

like four months ago.

00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:24,918

You gotta let it go.

00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,920

And here comes

Canada's most beloved musician,

00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,546

Sir Smelly John.

00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,089

Yes, Smelly John

is sitting down at the piano

00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:32,133

with a tribute

for the Queen, I believe.

00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,177

♪ Goodbye, queefy Queen ♪

00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:37,180

♪ Seems as though you've

queefed your last queef ♪

00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,936

it's my turn

to use the computer.

00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,021

Ike, me and my friends are

playing "Darktide" right now.

00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:48,191

Get off!

Fuck you, Kyle!

00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,193

Oh, and now people

are starting to stare angrily.

00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,945

Y-Yes, it looks like

the Prince and his new wife

00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,279

have just shown up.

00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,405

The Prince and his wife

have, of course,

00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:56,074

been bashing

the Canadian monarchy.

00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,035

A lot of Canadians

hate them now.

00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,370

Oh, and I belive

the Earl of Halifax

00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,080

has just farted

on the Prince's wife's face!

00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,957

The Prince seems to have

taken offense to this.

00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,458

Oh, this is bad now.

00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,210

Ike, I'm playing "Darktide"

with my friends.

00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,380

No, get off me!

00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,135

Hey, guys.

00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,846

Kyle, dude,

where were you last night?

00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,639

Yeah,

we were all waiting.

00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,140

I haven't been

showing up for things, but--

00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,892

but I got screwed

by my little brother.

00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,435

He just keeps crying

about the Queen.

00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,062

And then there's

this Prince and his wife

00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,647

and they're bashing

the Canadian monarchy.

00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,940

I guess it's like people

don't even know

00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,817

why they showed up

to the funeral

00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,986

But, anyway, I'm really sorry

I ruined game time for everyone.

00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,779

You didn't ruin it for anyone.

We played without you.

00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:38,074

What? Y-You guys, we-- we said

we'd all level up together.

00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,909

Well, yeah, we're

all like level 12 now.

00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,161

We got some sweet drip, dude.

00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,495

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,039

But this isn't fair,

it wasn't my fault.

00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,000

Hey, guys. Did you get

to upgrade your rifle, Stan?

00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,501

Yeah, it's got

a lot better range now.

00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,752

What about you?

00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,296

I kept the same gun,

but I got some sweet drip.

00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,048

Nice, sweet drip, dude.

00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,929

It stinks,

doesn't it?

00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,514

What stinks?

00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,349

When people make certain

judgements about you.

00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,226

I've been watching you, Kyle,

00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:08,062

and I can see you're having

some problems with your brand.

00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,772

My brand?

00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,361

Some kids call it

your credibility

00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,905

or your reputation,

00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,239

but those things

are just little parts

00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,866

of something

much more important--

00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,200

your brand.

00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,077

Think about it, Kyle.

00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,955

Who are you?

00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,458

I'm just--

I-I'm just me.

00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,501

See? You don't know

what your brand is.

00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,462

So how is anyone else

supposed to know?

00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,130

It's like a commercial

for Kyle,

00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,799

but you're not putting

a label on the jar.

00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,927

Butters, this seems

very out of character for you.

00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,304

That's because

I've been workin' on my brand.

00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,348

My parents saw that my brand

wasn't working with people

00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,267

so they sent me

to brand management.

00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,394

Brand management?

00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,955

Hi, Mr. Davis.

00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,415

Well, Butters Stotch.

How you doing there, Butters?

00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,000

How's the brand going?

00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,794

I made two new friends,

and a girl asked me

00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,003

to help her

with her homework.

00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,089

Well, there ya go there, Butters.

00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,341

My friend Kyle here was thinking

of reworking his brand a bit,

00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,009

and I told him

maybe you could help.

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,636

Oh, well,

sure there, Kyle,

00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,846

let's just get you to fill out

a CumHammer survey,

00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,264

and then we'll go

in the back

00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,684

and come up

with some options for ya.

00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,271

it's "Good Morning, Canada."

00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,817

It has been

several months now

00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,735

since our beloved Queen

has died.

00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:39,737

All Canadians are finding

it hard to go on.

00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,281

All Canadians, that is,

except for our first guests,

00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,700

The Prince and his wife.

00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,871

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,791

Thanks for having us

on the show.

00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,836

It's so awesome to be here.

It's great.

00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,421

So let me start with you, sir.

00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,672

You lived a life

with the royal family,

00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,048

you had everything

handed to you

00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,842

but you say your life

has been hard,

00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,553

and you've written all aboot

it in your new book, "Waaagh."

00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,263

Yes that's right, fwiend.

00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,723

You see,

my wife and I are--

00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,849

I was totally like,

"You should write a book

00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,058

'cause you're family's,

like, stupid,

00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,394

and then so are, like,

journalists."

00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,770

So you hate

journalists?

00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,397

That's right.

00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,149

that reports on the lives

of the royal family.

00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,316

Right.

00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,360

So you're a journalist.

00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,403

We just want

to be normal people.

00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,572

All this attention

is so hard.

00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,615

Isn't it true, sir,

that your questionable wife

00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,534

has her own TV show

and hangs out with celebrities

00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,036

and does fashion magazines?

00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,537

What are you suggesting?

00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,372

Well, I just think some

people might say

00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,041

that your Instagram-loving

bitch wife

00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,542

actually doesn't

want her privacy.

00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,377

How dare you, sir!

00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:39,422

My Instagram-loving bitch wife

has always wanted her privacy!

00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,799

And you know what else?

To hell with Canada.

00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,342

We are leaving.

00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,927

We'll go find

some quiet place

00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,554

where we can be

normal people.

00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,098

Come on, wife.

00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:52,101

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,942

♪ Come on, come on,

come on, come on, come on ♪

00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,862

{\an8}♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,072

♪ Come on, come on,

come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,115

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,201

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,203

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,080

♪ 'Cause we want some privacy ♪

00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,957

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,209

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,503

♪ Because we need some privacy ♪

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,713

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,132

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:27,261

♪ The Worldwide Privacy Tour

is coming soon to your town ♪

00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:30,181

♪ We're coming soon

to your town, give us privacy ♪

00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,724

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,684

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,479

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:40,108

♪ Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on ♪

00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,652

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,986

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,197

♪ 'Cause we want some privacy ♪

00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,533

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,034

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,203

♪ Because we need some privacy ♪

00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,335

Alright there, Kyle,

we got your survey answers,

00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:03,631

and I think we've put together

some great ideas for your brand.

00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,342

I understand you want people

to like you more

00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,094

and think you're cool.

00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,762

Is that right?

00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,181

Alright, well, let's see

how this brand works for you.

00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:17,103

We got... Kyle-- Rugged. Vegan.

Compassionate. Victim.

00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,732

I-- I don't think

that's really me.

00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,317

Well, that's fine 'cause

there's a lot of different

00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,195

brands people are attracted to.

How about this one?

00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:29,866

Kyle-- Sensitive. Outdoorsy.

Frugal. Victim.

00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,578

I'm not--

I'm not that outdoorsy.

00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,163

Okay, well,

remember there, Kyle,

00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,957

it's not so much about

who you are as much as it is

00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,084

about what people

are attracted to, okay?

00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,419

So let's see, how about this?

00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,714

Kyle-- Wealthy. Handsome.

00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,758

Multi-talented

Grammy Award-Winning. Victim.

00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,302

Oh, that-- that one's

taken already.

00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,928

Sorry. Hold on.

00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,221

Just a minute, Kyle.

00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,681

We're gonna find

a good one here for you.

00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:54,891

You'll see, Kyle.

00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,684

When you have your brand up

and runnin,'

00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,352

no one can stop you.

00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:05,276

Look at this town.

There's just something about it.

00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,905

Oh, darling.

I think this might be the place.

00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,657

You really think so?

00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,409

It's so quiet

and empty here.

00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,870

If we moved here,

then people would think

00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,414

we're really serious

about wanting to be normal.

00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,250

It does seem perfect,

doesn't it?

00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,294

We can have

a fresh start here.

00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,338

Lead a normal life

and have babies.

00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,050

Can we? Can we really move here

and finally have our privacy?

00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:33,095

My love, I will do anything

for your privacy.

00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,451

The couch goes

in the first room!

00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,620

Ay, be careful

with that TV, buddy!

00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,747

Drum set goes

on the second floor.

00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,040

Wait. Put it down.

00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,833

I want to make sure

it isn't damaged.

00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,419

What the hell?

00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,759

Hey!

Hey, you!

00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,970

Hey,

what are you looking at?!

00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,597

You ever heard

of privacy?!

00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:17,848

What?

00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,772

You guys,

I am so sorry.

00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,691

I totally was going to play

with you guys online

00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,276

but the Prince of Canada

and his wife

00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,153

moved in across

the street from me.

00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,030

They have this huge jet

parked in front of my house

00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,241

and then they kept trying to

get me to buy their stupid book

00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,077

and-- and, anyway, I'm sorry

I messed up another game night.

00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,870

It's okay, dude,

we had a great time.

00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,331

Yeah, we are literally

dripping with drip.

00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,083

Well, I just want

you guys to know

00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:48,129

that I am a reliable,

fun-loving, punctual victim.

00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,131

'Kay, well,

we gotta get to class.

00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,137

I'm really working

on myself!

00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,055

You're gonna like

what you see!

00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:07,148

CumHammer Head Guy:

As a child, you see the world

in a different way.

00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,859

You see the wonder in nature,

and you're starting to learn

00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,361

more about yourself

all the time.

00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,864

And you're learning that

there's something more important

00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,701

than you ever thought--

your brand.

00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,369

It's what defines you.

00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,538

And with brand management,

you can make sure

00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,625

others see you

the way they want to see you.

00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,545

Welcome to your

CumHammer Work tutorial.

00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,631

You are taking the first steps

to making your brand

00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,091

a great one.

00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,052

By now you've received

your workbook

00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,720

and also

your brand slide tool

00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,847

and CumHammer

social-media drive

00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,266

which will be used

in this video.

00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,685

Now, if you're ready,

let's start the exercises

00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,854

on page five

of your workbook.

00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,570

Yeah!

00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,781

Respect our privacy!

00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,949

Leave us alone!

00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,534

Down with the monarchy!

00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,453

We just want our privacy!

00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,791

God, fuck these people!

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,292

Why are we so mad today?

00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,753

Because we want

our privacy!

00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,257

Park County Police Station.

What's your emergency?

00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,301

Yeah, the neighbors across the

street are setting off fireworks

00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:19,470

and it's

10:30 at night!

00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,971

Oh, is it the Prince of Canada

and his wife,

00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,473

who just want to be

left alone?

00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:24,517

Yes.

00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,395

They're being super loud, and

I'm trying to work on my brand!

00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:28,687

Oh, God damn it.

00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,398

Now the prince

is playing polo on the lawn!

00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:36,695

We are here because privacy

is a basic human right.

00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,115

How many more princes

and his wives

00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,200

have to live

in this nightmare?

00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,247

Hey, can you two

fucking keep it down?!

00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,665

Oy!

00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,250

You ever heard of a thing

called "privacy"?!

00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,501

Yeah, nobody gives

a shit.

00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,545

Will you two just shut up,

and go away?!

00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:59,051

It seriously is

driving me crazy!

00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,929

The prince plays drums all day.

I don't think he even has a job.

00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,140

And I don't know what the hell

she does.

00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,975

Why they even left Canada

is beyond me.

00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,768

And, like, she seems to just

boss him around,

00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,145

and make him do

whatever she wants.

00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,354

I mean, why did they even

leave Canada

00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:12,815

and move to South Park, anyway?

00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,942

Stan, are you gonna

say something?

00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,318

You say it.

00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,695

Say what?

00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,155

Look, Kyle...

00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,865

We just kinda don't care

about some dumb prince

00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,366

and his stupid wife.

00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,160

I don't care

about them either!

00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,037

So, then why do you talk

about them all the time?

00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,375

Dude, we're just kind of

sick of hearing about them.

00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,835

I'm sick of hearing

about them!

00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,628

But I can't get away

from them!

00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,797

They're everywhere!

In my fucking face!

00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,632

Yeah, and now you're putting 'em

in our fucking face.

00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,968

Fine, I won't talk

about them anymore.

00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,636

Thank you.

00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,351

Okay, just one last thing--

did you know the prince sleeps-

00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:51,937

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry!

00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,359

The problem with you is you

want results without the work.

00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,944

You can't just say

you're a certain thing,

00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,780

and then expect people

to just like your brand.

00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,783

You gotta work it,

sell people on it.

00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,410

But I just don't feel

like my brand

00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,370

is who I really am

on the inside.

00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,997

You know, Kyle,

some people think

00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,832

it's what's inside you

that matters.

00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,543

But people can't see

inside you.

00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,879

They can only see what kind of

drink you're drinking.

00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,380

That's what matters.

00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,798

I guess so.

00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,550

Now, I'm gonna help you

with a new brand,

00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,594

but you've got to

work on it.

00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,222

What do you want your friends

to think about you?

00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,725

I want them to think I'm not

gonna complain about things,

00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,893

I'm more thick-skinned.

00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,937

Okay. This is good.

This is good.

00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,314

And I want people to think

I'm stronger, mentally,

00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,524

than I probably am.

00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,150

Okay. Okay.

I think we got it.

00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,902

People are gonna

love this.

00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,863

Kyle-- he's a thick-skinned,

super cool,

00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:46,325

nothing bothers him victim.

00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,493

I just don't know

if I can--

00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,703

You're goin'

off brand already!

00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:53,832

Remember, no matter what,

nothing bothers you.

00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,500

I don't care.

Don't care.

00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,799

What the hell?

What'd he just say?

00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:44,967

He victimized me!

00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,594

It's because I'm

an ethnic woman!

00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,970

He can't do that!

I'll see--

00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,805

Wait, you're ethnic?

This is an outrage!

00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,391

We'll just see how he deals

with my blue penis!

00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,619

Hey!

00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,455

Have some respect

for this privacy!

00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,606

Don't worry,

my love,

00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,901

he's not gonna

get away with this.

00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,759

Hey, guys!

How you doin?!

00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,302

Good.

How are you?

00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,346

I'm great.

Got some good sleep last night.

00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,682

Just letting' things roll

right off my back, you know?

00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,934

'Cause that's the kind of guy

I am.

00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,521

Cool.

00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,314

Hey, do you guys wanna play

Darktide after school?

00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,067

Or if not, whatever.

I'm cool either way.

00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,069

Yeah, I'm sure we can

figure that out.

00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,363

Cool. Whatever.

I'm care-free and unflappable.

00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,948

I'll catch you guys

at lunch!

00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,827

Wow, Kyle,

you seem really different.

00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,078

Do you like it?

00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,830

Uh, Sure.

00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,331

Thanks, Jimmy.

00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,916

But you know, I really need

to thank a good friend.

00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,585

He introduced me to a way of

becoming a more stable person.

00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,837

Have you seen Butters?

00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,797

Butters?

Oh, sure.

00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,215

He's out on

the playground,

00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,675

getting the shit

beat out of him by Bebe.

00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,968

What?

00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,763

Mother! Fucker!

00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,433

Don't ever say

that shit again!

00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,351

Hey!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,769

What the hell

is going on?!

00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,980

I wasn't even doing anything,

and he came up,

00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,940

and started

talking shit to me!

00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,401

Yeah, everyone likes a guy

that's strong and assertive,

00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,361

so I told Bebe

to go fuck herself.

00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,113

Who do you even think

you are?!

00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,781

You want some more of this,

you dumb slut?

00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,116

Butters,

what are you doing?

00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,367

This isn't you.

00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,785

Hey, Kyle,

will you relax.

00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,328

You're kind of fucking up

my brand.

00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,122

Okay, that does it--

come on, Butters.

00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,040

You're going back

to CumHammer.

00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,126

You're lucky

he saved your ass!

00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,962

Fuck you,

you fucking bitch!

00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:30,716

The most important thing about

your brand is being flexible.

00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,218

We want to make sure

you're completely satisfied.

00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,304

You say you're having

some problems?

00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,722

That's right!

00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,390

There's this

horrible spy

00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,808

who lives

across the street from us,

00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,894

and we're gonna get him back

by changing our brand!

00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,187

All right.

00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,897

And I do see

you're in our database,

00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,608

but you didn't first get help

at this CumHammer location?

00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,151

No.

00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,360

My wife went to one

in California as a child.

00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,779

Ah. Okay.

00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,197

Then you must be in

the national system.

00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,531

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Is this you?

00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:57,117

"Sorority girl, Actress,

Influencer, Victim."

00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,077

Yeah.

That's totally me.

00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:00,412

Okay. I see.

00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,622

And then,

you added your husband

00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,165

to your Friends and Family account.

00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,042

You must be the

"Royal prince, millionaire,

00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,919

world traveler,

victim."

00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,504

That's right.

00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,173

Come on, Butters.

00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,175

Hello?

00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,968

Oh, hey there.

Just gimme a minute.

00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,678

I'm with some other clients

right now, there, Kyle.

00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,472

Uh, no.

This is an emergency.

00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,848

We need to talk to--

00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,016

Oy! Do you mind!

Stop invading--

00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,976

It's him!

00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,229

What the hell

are you doing here?

00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,439

You just can't

leave us alone, can you!

00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,691

Oh, my God,

he's so obsessed with us.

00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,152

I'm not obsessed

with you.

00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,695

It's this

stupid place!

00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,450

Don't you see,

Butters?

00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,868

Teaching people

to think of their brand

00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,120

just makes

more people like them.

00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,580

This whole thing

is wrong.

00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,291

They're telling you guys to

reduce yourselves into products

00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,419

instead of people to be truly

understood and loved.

00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:52,047

Don't you guys want people

to like you for you

00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:55,425

instead of who they

want you to be?

00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:59,263

Look, we all have our faults.

God knows I do.

00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,598

But if we just try to present

and control an image of us

00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,393

for people to see, then,

we're just performers

00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,020

instead of

human beings.

00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,313

He's right.

00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,481

Trying to make ourselves

into a brand

00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,066

just turned us

into products.

00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,069

We don't need to be

a brand, do we?

00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,529

If it's truly

what we want,

00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,447

then we really can

get away from it all.

00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,449

No more magazines

and Netflix shows.

00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,577

We really can

live a normal life.

00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,080

Yes, I'm sure you agree, darling.

00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,499

We can be the people

we talked about being,

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376

with no more worries

about how we look

00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,295

or the image

we project to people.

00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:34,047

What matters is what

we have on the inside.

00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,470

Hello?

00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,850

Come on, Butters.

Time to go home.

00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,435

Yeah.

00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,897

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,481

Now, hey.

00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,192

Don't make a decision

you might all regret.

00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,781

Yeah, come on, honey.

We don't need this place.

00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,161

Honey?

00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,303

The queen is dead.

00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,847

What a sad day for Canada--

and therefore, the world.

00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,934

Ike, I need to

use the--

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,435

Oh no, not again.

00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,355

She's still dead.

00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,981

Ike, I have to get on

the computer.

00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,608

The Queen's been dead

a long time.

00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,528

Ike, I have to get on

with my friends!

00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,447

If I don't,

they're gonna think I'm...

00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,744

It's okay.

00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,663

Things get to you.

00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,498

It's who you are.

00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,134

Oh. Hey, guys.

00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,928

Hey, dude. Uh...

00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,930

We thought maybe you could do

with a little outside time.

00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,431

Really?

00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,975

We just thought it'd be good

to get you out of the house.

00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,310

You seem to bee going through

a lot lately.

00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:13,063

Yeah.

Yeah, I have.

00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,399

Thanks, guys.

I'd love to play.

00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,701

Oy! Oy!

00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,202

Could, uh...

00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,495

Could I play?

00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:29,913

Sure.

You can play.

00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:31,498

Great!

00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,847

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,598

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:18,685

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,186

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,105

♪ People spouting,

"howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:25,233

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,653

♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:32,615

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:40,123

{\an8}♪

00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,293

Announcer: Today is a tragic day

for Canada.

00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,128

Thousands of Canadians

have gathered to mourn

00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,798

the passing

of their beloved mother.

00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,010

The Queen is dead.

00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,971

The Queen is dead ♪

00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,598

Every Canadian everywhere

00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,183

is feeling absolute emptiness

right now.

00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:02,187

Oh, God, she's dead ♪

00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,980

And now the casket

is brought down the aisle

00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,940

with the Queen inside.

00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,109

The Queen's body being carried

by the royal guard.

00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,445

What a horrible day for Canada

and therefore the world.

00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,324

Not the Queen ♪

00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,660

She is dead ♪

00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,163

Ike, the Queen died

like four months ago.

00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:24,918

You gotta let it go.

00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,920

Announcer: And here comes

Canada's most beloved musician,

00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,546

Sir Smelly John.

00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,089

Yes, Smelly John

is sitting down at the piano

00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:32,133

with a tribute

for the Queen, I believe.

00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,177

♪ Goodbye, queefy Queen ♪

00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:37,180

♪ Seems as though you've

queefed your last queef ♪

00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,890

[ All crying ]

00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,809

[ Crying ]

00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,936

it's my turn

to use the computer.

00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,021

Ike, me and my friends are

playing "Darktide" right now.

00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:48,191

Get off!

Fuck you, Kyle!

[ Crying ]

00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,193

Announcer: Oh, and now people

are starting to stare angrily.

00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,945

Y-Yes, it looks like

the Prince and his new wife

00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,279

have just shown up.

00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,405

The Prince and his wife

have, of course,

00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:56,074

been bashing

the Canadian monarchy.

00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,035

A lot of Canadians

hate them now.

00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,370

Oh, and I belive

the Earl of Halifax

00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,080

has just farted

on the Prince's wife's face!

00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,957

The Prince seems to have

taken offense to this.

00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,458

Oh, this is bad now.

00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,210

Ike, I'm playing "Darktide"

with my friends.

00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:10,380

No, get off me!

00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,882

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,135

Hey, guys.

00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,846

Kyle, dude,

where were you last night?

00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,639

Yeah,

we were all waiting.

00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,140

I haven't been

showing up for things, but--

00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,892

but I got screwed

by my little brother.

00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,435

He just keeps crying

about the Queen.

00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,062

And then there's

this Prince and his wife

00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,647

and they're bashing

the Canadian monarchy.

00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:28,940

I guess it's like people

don't even know

00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,817

why they showed up

to the funeral

00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,986

But, anyway, I'm really sorry

I ruined game time for everyone.

00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,779

You didn't ruin it for anyone.

We played without you.

00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:38,074

What? Y-You guys, we-- we said

we'd all level up together.

00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,909

Well, yeah, we're

all like level 12 now.

00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,161

We got some sweet drip, dude.

00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,495

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,039

But this isn't fair,

it wasn't my fault.

00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,000

Hey, guys. Did you get

to upgrade your rifle, Stan?

00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,501

Yeah, it's got

a lot better range now.

00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,752

What about you?

00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,296

I kept the same gun,

but I got some sweet drip.

00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,048

Nice, sweet drip, dude.

00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,929

It stinks,

doesn't it?

00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,514

What stinks?

00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,349

When people make certain

judgements about you.

00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,226

I've been watching you, Kyle,

00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:08,062

and I can see you're having

some problems with your brand.

00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,772

My brand?

00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:13,484

[ Children laughing ]

00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,361

Some kids call it

your credibility

00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,905

or your reputation,

00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,239

but those things

are just little parts

00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,866

of something

much more important--

00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,200

your brand.

00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,077

Think about it, Kyle.

00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,955

Who are you?

00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,458

I'm just--

I-I'm just me.

00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,501

See? You don't know

what your brand is.

00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,462

So how is anyone else

supposed to know?

00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,130

It's like a commercial

for Kyle,

00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,799

but you're not putting

a label on the jar.

00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,927

Butters, this seems

very out of character for you.

00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,304

That's because

I've been workin' on my brand.

00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,348

My parents saw that my brand

wasn't working with people

00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,267

so they sent me

to brand management.

00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,394

Brand management?

00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,955

Hi, Mr. Davis.

00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,415

Well, Butters Stotch.

How you doing there, Butters?

00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,000

How's the brand going?

00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,794

I made two new friends,

and a girl asked me

00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,003

to help her

with her homework.

00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,089

Well, there ya go there, Butters.

00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,341

My friend Kyle here was thinking

of reworking his brand a bit,

00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,009

and I told him

maybe you could help.

00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,636

Oh, well,

sure there, Kyle,

00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,846

let's just get you to fill out

a CumHammer survey,

00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,264

and then we'll go

in the back

00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,684

and come up

with some options for ya.

00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:30,520

[ Applause ]

00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,271

it's "Good Morning, Canada."

00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,232

[ Farts ]

00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,817

It has been

several months now

00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,735

since our beloved Queen

has died.

00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:39,737

All Canadians are finding

it hard to go on.

00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,281

All Canadians, that is,

except for our first guests,

00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,700

The Prince and his wife.

00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,493

[ Audience booing ]

00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,871

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,791

Thanks for having us

on the show.

00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,836

It's so awesome to be here.

It's great.

00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,421

So let me start with you, sir.

00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:57,672

You lived a life

with the royal family,

00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,048

you had everything

handed to you

00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,842

but you say your life

has been hard,

00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,553

and you've written all aboot

it in your new book, "Waaagh."

00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,263

Yes that's right, fwiend.

00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,723

You see,

my wife and I are--

00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,849

I was totally like,

"You should write a book

00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,058

'cause you're family's,

like, stupid,

00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,394

and then so are, like,

journalists."

00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,770

So you hate

journalists?

00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,397

That's right.

00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,149

that reports on the lives

of the royal family.

00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,316

Right.

00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,360

So you're a journalist.

00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,403

We just want

to be normal people.

00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,572

All this attention

is so hard.

00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,615

Isn't it true, sir,

that your questionable wife

00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,534

has her own TV show

and hangs out with celebrities

00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,036

and does fashion magazines?

00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,537

What are you suggesting?

00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,372

Well, I just think some

people might say

00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,041

that your Instagram-loving

bitch wife

00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,542

actually doesn't

want her privacy.

00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,377

How dare you, sir!

00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:39,422

My Instagram-loving bitch wife

has always wanted her privacy!

00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,799

And you know what else?

To hell with Canada.

00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,342

We are leaving.

00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,927

We'll go find

some quiet place

00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,554

where we can be

normal people.

00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,098

Come on, wife.

00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:52,101

We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,942

♪ Come on, come on,

come on, come on, come on ♪

00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,862

{\an8}♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,072

♪ Come on, come on,

come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,115

Both: We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,201

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,203

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,080

♪ 'Cause we want some privacy ♪

00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,957

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,209

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,503

♪ Because we need some privacy ♪

00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,713

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,132

Both: We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:27,261

♪ The Worldwide Privacy Tour

is coming soon to your town ♪

00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:30,181

♪ We're coming soon

to your town, give us privacy ♪

00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,724

Both: We want privacy!

We want privacy!

00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,684

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,479

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:40,108

♪ Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on ♪

00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,652

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,986

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:46,197

♪ 'Cause we want some privacy ♪

00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,533

♪ It's the

Worldwide Privacy Tour ♪

00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,034

♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪

00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,203

♪ Because we need some privacy ♪

00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,335

Alright there, Kyle,

we got your survey answers,

00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:03,631

and I think we've put together

some great ideas for your brand.

00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,342

I understand you want people

to like you more

00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,094

and think you're cool.

00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,762

Is that right?

00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,181

Alright, well, let's see

how this brand works for you.

00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:17,103

We got... Kyle-- Rugged. Vegan.

Compassionate. Victim.

00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,732

I-- I don't think

that's really me.

00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,317

Well, that's fine 'cause

there's a lot of different

00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,195

brands people are attracted to.

How about this one?

00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:29,866

Kyle-- Sensitive. Outdoorsy.

Frugal. Victim.

00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,578

I'm not--

I'm not that outdoorsy.

00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,163

Okay, well,

remember there, Kyle,

00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,957

it's not so much about

who you are as much as it is

00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,084

about what people

are attracted to, okay?

00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,419

So let's see, how about this?

00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,337

[ Keyboard clacking,

mouse clicks ]

00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,714

Kyle-- Wealthy. Handsome.

00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,758

Multi-talented

Grammy Award-Winning. Victim.

00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,302

Oh, that-- that one's

taken already.

00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,928

Sorry. Hold on.

00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,221

Just a minute, Kyle.

00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,681

We're gonna find

a good one here for you.

00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:54,891

You'll see, Kyle.

00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,684

When you have your brand up

and runnin,'

00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,352

no one can stop you.

00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:05,276

Look at this town.

There's just something about it.

00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,905

Oh, darling.

I think this might be the place.

00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,657

You really think so?

00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,409

It's so quiet

and empty here.

00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,870

If we moved here,

then people would think

00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,414

we're really serious

about wanting to be normal.

00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,250

It does seem perfect,

doesn't it?

00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,294

We can have

a fresh start here.

00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,338

Lead a normal life

and have babies.

00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,050

Can we? Can we really move here

and finally have our privacy?

00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:33,095

My love, I will do anything

for your privacy.

00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,434

[ Airplane engine whirring ]

00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,451

The couch goes

in the first room!

00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,620

Ay, be careful

with that TV, buddy!

00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,747

Drum set goes

on the second floor.

00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,040

Wait. Put it down.

00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,833

I want to make sure

it isn't damaged.

00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,419

What the hell?

00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:09,799

{\an8}♪

00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,759

Hey!

Hey, you!

00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,970

Hey,

what are you looking at?!

00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,597

You ever heard

of privacy?!

00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:17,848

What?

00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,772

You guys,

I am so sorry.

00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,691

I totally was going to play

with you guys online

00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,276

but the Prince of Canada

and his wife

00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,153

moved in across

the street from me.

00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,030

They have this huge jet

parked in front of my house

00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,241

and then they kept trying to

get me to buy their stupid book

00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,077

and-- and, anyway, I'm sorry

I messed up another game night.

00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,870

It's okay, dude,

we had a great time.

00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,331

Yeah, we are literally

dripping with drip.

00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:44,083

Well, I just want

you guys to know

00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:48,129

that I am a reliable,

fun-loving, punctual victim.

00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,131

'Kay, well,

we gotta get to class.

00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,137

I'm really working

on myself!

00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,055

You're gonna like

what you see!

00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:07,148

CumHammer Head Guy:

As a child, you see the world

in a different way.

00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,859

You see the wonder in nature,

and you're starting to learn

00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,361

more about yourself

all the time.

00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,864

And you're learning that

there's something more important

00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,701

than you ever thought--

your brand.

00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,369

It's what defines you.

00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,538

And with brand management,

you can make sure

00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,625

others see you

the way they want to see you.

00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,545

Welcome to your

CumHammer Work tutorial.

00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,631

You are taking the first steps

to making your brand

00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,091

a great one.

00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,052

By now you've received

your workbook

00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,720

and also

your brand slide tool

00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,847

and CumHammer

social-media drive

00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,266

which will be used

in this video.

00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,685

Now, if you're ready,

let's start the exercises

00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,854

on page five

of your workbook.

00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:49,440

[ Fireworks whistling ]

00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,570

Yeah!

[ Laughs ]

00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,781

Respect our privacy!

00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,949

Leave us alone!

[ Laughs ]

00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,534

Both:

Down with the monarchy!

00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,453

We just want our privacy!

00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,791

God, fuck these people!

00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,292

Why are we so mad today?

00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,753

Because we want

our privacy!

00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,838

[ Phone ringing ]

00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,257

Park County Police Station.

What's your emergency?

00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,301

Yeah, the neighbors across the

street are setting off fireworks

00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:19,470

and it's

10:30 at night!

00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,971

Oh, is it the Prince of Canada

and his wife,

00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,473

who just want to be

left alone?

00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:24,517

Yes.

00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,395

They're being super loud, and

I'm trying to work on my brand!

00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:28,687

Oh, God damn it.

00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,398

Now the prince

is playing polo on the lawn!

00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:36,695

We are here because privacy

is a basic human right.

00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:39,115

How many more princes

and his wives

00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,200

have to live

in this nightmare?

00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,247

Hey, can you two

fucking keep it down?!

00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,665

Oy!

00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,250

You ever heard of a thing

called "privacy"?!

00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,501

Yeah, nobody gives

a shit.

00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,545

Will you two just shut up,

and go away?!

00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:59,051

It seriously is

driving me crazy!

00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,929

The prince plays drums all day.

I don't think he even has a job.

00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,140

And I don't know what the hell

she does.

00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,975

Why they even left Canada

is beyond me.

00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,768

And, like, she seems to just

boss him around,

00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,145

and make him do

whatever she wants.

00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,354

I mean, why did they even

leave Canada

00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:12,815

and move to South Park, anyway?

00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,942

Stan, are you gonna

say something?

00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,318

You say it.

00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:17,695

Say what?

00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,155

Look, Kyle...

00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,865

We just kinda don't care

about some dumb prince

00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:22,366

and his stupid wife.

00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,160

I don't care

about them either!

00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,037

So, then why do you talk

about them all the time?

00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,998

[ Stammering ]

00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,375

Dude, we're just kind of

sick of hearing about them.

00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,835

I'm sick of hearing

about them!

00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,628

But I can't get away

from them!

00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,797

They're everywhere!

In my fucking face!

00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,632

Yeah, and now you're putting 'em

in our fucking face.

00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,968

Fine, I won't talk

about them anymore.

00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,636

Thank you.

00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,351

Okay, just one last thing--

did you know the prince sleeps-

00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,686

[ All groan ]

00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:51,937

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry!

00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,359

Man: The problem with you is you

want results without the work.

00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,944

You can't just say

you're a certain thing,

00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,780

and then expect people

to just like your brand.

00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,783

You gotta work it,

sell people on it.

00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,410

But I just don't feel

like my brand

00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,370

is who I really am

on the inside.

00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,997

You know, Kyle,

some people think

00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,832

it's what's inside you

that matters.

00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,543

But people can't see

inside you.

00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,879

They can only see what kind of

drink you're drinking.

00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,380

That's what matters.

00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,798

I guess so.

00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:21,550

Now, I'm gonna help you

with a new brand,

00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,594

but you've got to

work on it.

00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,222

What do you want your friends

to think about you?

00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,725

I want them to think I'm not

gonna complain about things,

00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,893

I'm more thick-skinned.

00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,937

Okay. This is good.

This is good.

00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,314

And I want people to think

I'm stronger, mentally,

00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,524

than I probably am.

00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,150

Okay. Okay.

I think we got it.

00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,902

People are gonna

love this.

00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,863

Kyle-- he's a thick-skinned,

super cool,

00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:46,325

nothing bothers him victim.

00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,493

I just don't know

if I can--

00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,703

You're goin'

off brand already!

00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:53,832

Remember, no matter what,

nothing bothers you.

00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,500

I don't care.

Don't care.

00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,799

What the hell?

What'd he just say?

00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:44,967

He victimized me!

00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,594

It's because I'm

an ethnic woman!

00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,970

He can't do that!

I'll see--

00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,805

Wait, you're ethnic?

This is an outrage!

00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,391

We'll just see how he deals

with my blue penis!

00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,560

[ Video game playing

on TV ]

00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,523

[ Knocking ]

00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,741

[ Squeaking ]

00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,619

Hey!

00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,455

Have some respect

for this privacy!

00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,874

[ Squeaking ]

00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:36,310

{\an8}♪

00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,021

[ Cries ]

00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,606

Don't worry,

my love,

00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,901

he's not gonna

get away with this.

00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,759

Hey, guys!

How you doin?!

00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,302

Good.

How are you?

00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,346

I'm great.

Got some good sleep last night.

00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,682

Just letting' things roll

right off my back, you know?

00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,934

'Cause that's the kind of guy

I am.

00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,521

Cool.

00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,314

Hey, do you guys wanna play

Darktide after school?

00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,067

Or if not, whatever.

I'm cool either way.

00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,069

Yeah, I'm sure we can

figure that out.

00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,363

Cool. Whatever.

I'm care-free and unflappable.

00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:30,948

I'll catch you guys

at lunch!

00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,827

Wow, Kyle,

you seem really different.

00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,078

Do you like it?

00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,830

Uh, Sure.

00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,331

Thanks, Jimmy.

00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,916

But you know, I really need

to thank a good friend.

00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,585

He introduced me to a way of

becoming a more stable person.

00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,837

Have you seen Butters?

00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,797

Butters?

Oh, sure.

00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,215

He's out on

the playground,

00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,675

getting the shit

beat out of him by Bebe.

00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,968

What?

00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,763

Bebe: Mother! Fucker!

00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,433

Don't ever say

that shit again!

00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,351

Hey!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,769

What the hell

is going on?!

00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,980

I wasn't even doing anything,

and he came up,

00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,940

and started

talking shit to me!

00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,401

Yeah, everyone likes a guy

that's strong and assertive,

00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,361

so I told Bebe

to go fuck herself.

00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,113

Who do you even think

you are?!

00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,781

You want some more of this,

you dumb slut?

00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,116

Butters,

what are you doing?

00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,367

This isn't you.

00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,785

Hey, Kyle,

will you relax.

00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,328

You're kind of fucking up

my brand.

00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,122

Okay, that does it--

come on, Butters.

00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,040

You're going back

to CumHammer.

00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,126

You're lucky

he saved your ass!

00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,962

Fuck you,

you fucking bitch!

00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:30,716

The most important thing about

your brand is being flexible.

00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,218

We want to make sure

you're completely satisfied.

00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,304

You say you're having

some problems?

00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,722

That's right!

00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,390

There's this

horrible spy

00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,808

who lives

across the street from us,

00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,894

and we're gonna get him back

by changing our brand!

00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,187

All right.

00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,897

And I do see

you're in our database,

00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,608

but you didn't first get help

at this CumHammer location?

00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,151

No.

00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,360

My wife went to one

in California as a child.

00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,779

Ah. Okay.

00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,197

Then you must be in

the national system.

00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,531

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Is this you?

00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:57,117

"Sorority girl, Actress,

Influencer, Victim."

00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,077

Yeah.

That's totally me.

00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:00,412

Okay. I see.

00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,622

And then,

you added your husband

00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,165

to your Friends and Family account.

00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,042

You must be the

"Royal prince, millionaire,

00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,919

world traveler,

victim."

00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,504

That's right.

00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,173

Kyle:

Come on, Butters.

00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,175

Hello?

00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,968

Oh, hey there.

Just gimme a minute.

00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,678

I'm with some other clients

right now, there, Kyle.

00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,472

Uh, no.

This is an emergency.

00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,848

We need to talk to--

00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,016

Oy! Do you mind!

Stop invading--

00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,976

[ Gasps ]

It's him!

00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:24,019

[ Screams ]

00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,229

What the hell

are you doing here?

00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,439

You just can't

leave us alone, can you!

00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,691

Oh, my God,

he's so obsessed with us.

00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,152

I'm not obsessed

with you.

00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,695

It's this

stupid place!

00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,450

Don't you see,

Butters?

00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,868

Teaching people

to think of their brand

00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,120

just makes

more people like them.

00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,580

This whole thing

is wrong.

00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:46,291

They're telling you guys to

reduce yourselves into products

00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,419

instead of people to be truly

understood and loved.

00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:52,047

Don't you guys want people

to like you for you

00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:55,425

instead of who they

want you to be?

00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:59,263

Look, we all have our faults.

God knows I do.

00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,598

But if we just try to present

and control an image of us

00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,393

for people to see, then,

we're just performers

00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,020

instead of

human beings.

00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,313

He's right.

00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,481

Trying to make ourselves

into a brand

00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,066

just turned us

into products.

00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,069

We don't need to be

a brand, do we?

00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:15,529

If it's truly

what we want,

00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,447

then we really can

get away from it all.

00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,449

No more magazines

and Netflix shows.

00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,577

We really can

live a normal life.

00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,080

Yes, I'm sure you agree, darling.

00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,499

We can be the people

we talked about being,

00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,376

with no more worries

about how we look

00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,295

or the image

we project to people.

00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:34,047

What matters is what

we have on the inside.

00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,470

Hello?

00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,850

Come on, Butters.

Time to go home.

00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,435

Yeah.

00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,897

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,481

Man: Now, hey.

00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,192

Don't make a decision

you might all regret.

00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,781

Yeah, come on, honey.

We don't need this place.

00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,161

Honey?

00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,303

Reporter:

The queen is dead.

00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,847

What a sad day for Canada--

and therefore, the world.

00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,474

[ Cries ]

00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,934

Ike, I need to

use the--

00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,435

Oh no, not again.

00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,355

She's still dead.

00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,981

Ike, I have to get on

the computer.

00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:34,608

The Queen's been dead

a long time.

00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,528

Ike, I have to get on

with my friends!

00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,447

If I don't,

they're gonna think I'm...

00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,744

It's okay.

00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,663

Things get to you.

00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,498

It's who you are.

00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,375

[ Cries ]

00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,419

[ Knocking ]

00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,134

Oh. Hey, guys.

00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,928

Hey, dude. Uh...

00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,930

We thought maybe you could do

with a little outside time.

00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,431

Really?

00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,975

We just thought it'd be good

to get you out of the house.

00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,310

You seem to bee going through

a lot lately.

00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:13,063

Yeah.

Yeah, I have.

00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,399

Thanks, guys.

I'd love to play.

00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,701

Oy! Oy!

00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,202

Could, uh...

00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,495

Could I play?

00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:29,913

Sure.

You can play.

00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:31,498

Great!

00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:38,005

[ Drumming ]

00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:46,972

{\an8}♪

00:21:49,599 --> 00:22:18,837

{\an8}♪

00:00:03,562 --> 00:00:05,712

В ПРОГРАММЕ СОДЕРЖИТСЯ ГРЯЗНАЯ РУГАНЬ,

НЕ РЕКОМЕНДУЕТСЯ К ПРОСМОТРУ ВООБЩЕ НИКОМУ

00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,842

Соберу я свой рюкзак и поеду в Саус Парк.

00:00:11,842 --> 00:00:15,412

Дружелюбный здесь народ, благочестие цветёт.

00:00:15,412 --> 00:00:18,532

В Саус Парк ты приезжаешь и печали забываешь.

00:00:18,532 --> 00:00:22,202

Стоит только выйти в свет,

все кричат: «Привет, сосед!».

00:00:22,202 --> 00:00:25,372

В Саус Парке не печалься, отдыхай и расслабляйся.

00:00:28,652 --> 00:00:31,632

В Саус Парке ждут тебя мои верные друзья.

00:01:30,572 --> 00:01:33,172

Прощай, выпуков королева,

00:01:33,172 --> 00:01:35,942

теперь ты улетела пукать на небо...

00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,822

НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

00:02:42,172 --> 00:02:43,472

Ещё какой, чел.

00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:54,852

Да, ништяк.

00:03:50,182 --> 00:04:01,212

«СПЕРМОЛОТОК»

БРЕНД-МЕНЕДЖМЕНТ

00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:48,332

ДАЁШЬ ЧАСТНУЮ ЖИЗНЬ

ХВАТИТ НА НАС ПЯЛИТЬСЯ

00:05:57,062 --> 00:06:00,862

Едем, едем, едем в поездку эту.

00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:03,562

Это тур частной жизни по всему свету.

00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:07,012

Едем, едем, едем в поездку эту.

00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:09,722

Это тур частной жизни по всему свету.

00:06:09,722 --> 00:06:12,522

Едем, едем, едем в поездку эту.

00:06:13,322 --> 00:06:15,822

Это тур частной жизни по всему свету.

00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:18,822

Едем, едем, частную жизнь отыскать.

00:06:18,822 --> 00:06:21,822

Даже если придётся весь мир облетать.

00:06:22,122 --> 00:06:24,822

Это частной жизни турне,

00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:27,972

ждите скоро в вашей стране.

00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,372

Мы прилетим в ваш город

00:06:30,372 --> 00:06:31,592

в частной жизни гастролях.

00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:32,972

Едем, едем, едем в поездку эту.

00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:35,302

США

КОЛОРАДО

00:06:35,302 --> 00:06:37,502

Это тур частной жизни по всему свету.

00:06:37,502 --> 00:06:40,052

Едем, едем, едем в поездку эту.

00:06:40,352 --> 00:06:42,352

САУС ПАРК

00:06:42,352 --> 00:06:44,062

Это тур частной жизни по всему свету.

00:06:44,062 --> 00:06:46,662

Едем, едем, частную жизнь отыскать.

00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,302

«СПЕРМОЛОТОК»

БРЕНД-МЕНЕДЖМЕНТ

00:07:59,282 --> 00:08:03,062

САУС ПАРК

00:08:35,302 --> 00:08:39,202

ПРОДАНО

РИЕЛТОРЫ САУС ПАРКА

00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,192

НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

00:10:52,502 --> 00:11:01,882

ОСТАВЬТЕ НАС В ПОКОЕ

УВАЖАЙТЕ НАШУ ЧАСТНУЮ ЖИЗНЬ

00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:56,792

«СПЕРМОЛОТОК»

БРЕНД-МЕНЕДЖМЕНТ

00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:30,052

ОСТАВЬТЕ НАС В ПОКОЕ

УВАЖАЙТЕ НАШУ ЧАСТНУЮ ЖИЗНЬ

00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,712

ОСТАВЬТЕ НАС В ПОКОЕ

УВАЖАЙТЕ НАШУ ЧАСТНУЮ ЖИЗНЬ

00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,720

НАЧАЛЬНАЯ ШКОЛА САУС ПАРКА

00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:03,538

ГОЛОСИ ЗНАМЕНИТОСТЕЙ

СПАРОДІЙОВАНО... ЩЕ Й КЕПСЬКО. У СЕРІАЛІ

00:00:03,562 --> 00:00:05,012

Є ГРУБА ЛЕКСИКА І ВІН НЕ

РЕКОМЕНДУЄТЬСЯ ДЛЯ ПЕРЕГЛЯДУ НІКОМУ.

00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,685

Їду я у Саус Парк

Проведу тут гарно час

00:00:11,842 --> 00:00:15,345

Всюди дружні тут обличчя

І привітні повсякчас

00:00:15,412 --> 00:00:18,447

Пхаюсь я у Саус Парк

Щоб забути всі проблеми

00:00:18,532 --> 00:00:22,129

Паркінг є тут за потреби

Люди кличуть: «Гей, сусідо!»

00:00:22,202 --> 00:00:25,443

Пруся я у Саус Парк

Трохи випустити пар

00:00:28,652 --> 00:00:32,344

Приїжджайте й ви сюди

Будуть друзі всі мої

00:01:30,572 --> 00:01:33,172

Прощавай, пердлива королево

00:01:33,172 --> 00:01:36,233

На жаль, ти вже пустила

останнього шептунця

00:03:50,182 --> 00:03:52,528

СТОЯЧИЙ ІМІДЖ

БРЕНД-МЕНЕДЖМЕНТ

00:04:28,204 --> 00:04:33,091

ДОБРОГО РАНКУ, КАНАДО!

00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:48,320

МИ ВИМАГАЄМО ПРИВАТНОСТІ!

ГОДІ НА НАС ДИВИТИСЯ!

00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:04,133

ПРИНЦ

ХНИК-ХНИК

00:05:57,062 --> 00:06:04,066

Вперед-вперед, в дорогу!

00:06:04,454 --> 00:06:09,722

СВІТОВИЙ ТУР ПРИВАТНОСТІ

00:06:09,722 --> 00:06:10,371

Вперед-вперед, в дорогу!

00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:22,122

Вперед-вперед, в дорогу!

00:06:22,122 --> 00:06:23,134

Бо ми вимагаємо приватності!

00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:27,972

Світовий тур приватності

завітає і до вашого міста!

00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,410

Ми припремось у ваше місто

Щоб вимагати приватності.

00:06:31,977 --> 00:06:32,972

МАПА СПОЛУЧЕНИХ

ШТАТІВ АМЕРИКИ

00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:34,612

КОЛОРАДО

00:06:40,352 --> 00:06:43,004

САУС ПАРК

00:08:35,302 --> 00:08:37,381

ПРОДАНО

00:10:52,502 --> 00:10:54,690

ДАЙТЕ НАМ СПОКІЙ!

ПОВАЖАЙТЕ НАШУ ПРИВАТНІСТЬ!