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О прошлой ночи
About Last Night…
Сезон: 12Серия: 12
Описание
Пока страна празднует победу Барака Обамы на выборах, избранный президент застаёт всех врасплох, когда раньше времени приезжает в Белый дом.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,675 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,677 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,346 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,014 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,215 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:18,250 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,885 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,654 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,222 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,124 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:28,194 ♪ ( mumbling ) ♪
- 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,595 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:31,697 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,635 ( cheers and applause )
- 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,037 If there is anyone out there tonight
- 00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,739 who still doubts that America is a place
- 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,574 where all things are possible.
- 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,009 Who still wonders if the dream of our founders
- 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,911 is alive in our time
- 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,881 who still questions the power of our democracy...
- 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,916 tonight is your answer.
- 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,953 Yeah !
- 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,020 Obama !
- 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,122 Woo-hooo !
- 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,524 We did it, we f-ing did it !
- 00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:58,958 Yeah !
- 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,393 It's been a long time coming but tonight,
- 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:03,028 because of what we did on this date in this election
- 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,732 at this defining moment change has come to America.
- 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,235 Yeah ! Yeah Obama !
- 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,772 Change ! It's changeeeee !
- 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,941 Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine.
- 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,410 And you have earned the new puppy
- 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,745 that's coming with us to the White House.
- 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,415 We will name him "Sparkles".
- 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,817 He's so awesome !
- 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,520 He's so perfect and awesome !
- 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,422 Where we are met with cynicism and doubt
- 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,090 and those who tell us that we can't.
- 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,159 We will respond with that timeless creed
- 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,461 that sums up the spirit of a people.
- 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,663 Yes we can.
- 00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,765 ( crowd ) Yes we can !
- 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:44,170 Yes I can !
- 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,605 Here comes the change everybody !
- 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,607 Whoooo!
- 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,743 Did you see ? Our man is in !
- 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,911 We did it !
- 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,413 Everything is going to be awesome now !
- 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,715 This is the greatest day of our lives !
- 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,117 Yes we can !
- 00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,519 I don't even know what to do now !
- 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,087 I know what to do !
- 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:07,526 Looosers...
- 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,628 (Chanting) Looosers !
- 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,497 Loosers ! Looosers !
- 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,432 Oh shut up !!
- 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,100 We lost ?
- 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,735 It is natural.
- 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,872 It's natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment.
- 00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,640 We fought as hard as we could.
- 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,209 And though we fell short
- 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,511 the failure is mine, not yours.
- 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,046 No ! No !
- 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,348 Aww, poor ol' John McCain.
- 00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,850 He looks real sad.
- 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:34,086 No, no, this can't happen-- no !
- 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,154 Steven !
- 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:36,489 It's all over, Linda !
- 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,992 The country as we know it is about to change.
- 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:42,027 We're all dead.
- 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,496 You don't know that Steven !
- 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:46,332 With an inexperienced man as president, we do know it !
- 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:49,068 He is right, game over man, m'kay !
- 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,504 We'll probably be dead by sunrise !
- 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:54,507 Butters, Daddy loves you.
- 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:55,975 Just remember that.
- 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,511 He always loved you.
- 00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,512 ( knock on door )
- 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,413 Wooo ! Obama !
- 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,048 Get outta here !
- 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,884 ( doorbell ringing )
- 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,189 Dude have you seen my parents ?
- 00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,458 No, everyone's out partying in the streets.
- 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,361 What's wrong with your brother ?
- 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,364 He was a McCain supporter.
- 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,900 It's okay, Ike, Obama will do fine.
- 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,568 Wahhhh !
- 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:28,107 - Mr. President, over here! - Congratulations!
- 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,676 - Great job Mr. President ! - Great job, Obama!
- 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,311 Thank you all for your support.
- 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:34,346 If you don't mind I'm going to spend the rest of the evening
- 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,515 getting some much needed rest.
- 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,255 Senator McCain !
- 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,558 'President' Obama.
- 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:51,630 ( snickering ) ( snickering )
- 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,632 - Boom baby ! - Boom baby !
- 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,200 Oh man that was perfect !
- 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,803 I almost thought we were going to tie for a minute there.
- 00:03:57,837 --> 00:03:59,071 That would have screwed us !
- 00:03:59,105 --> 00:03:59,838 You played it perfectly.
- 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,140 There was no way.
- 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,508 It's McCain, we did it.
- 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,543 Obama is President.
- 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,611 Yeah, so I've heard.
- 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,112 You guys are out of your freaking minds,
- 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,113 you know that ?
- 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,014 Yes, we do.
- 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,416 Assemble the rest of the team,
- 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,584 we've only got ten hours.
- 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,452 Sure, hard part's over, right ?
- 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:16,322 Actually, the hard part's just starting.
- 00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:21,694 ♪ Yahoo ♪
- 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,131 Obama, yeah, I can't believe it !
- 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,201 Obama !
- 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:32,738 [Everyone chanting] Obama ! Obama ! Obama !
- 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,874 ♪ Celabrate good Obama ♪
- 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,710 ♪ Come on ♪
- 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,946 ♪ It's Oba-Obama ♪
- 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,016 Bleechh !
- 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,788 Yes, I'd like to make a noise complaint.
- 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,190 ♪ Who let the dogs out ♪
- 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,958 ♪ Who-who who-who-who ♪
- 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,460 ♪ Who let the dogs out ♪
- 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,762 Obama ! Obama !
- 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,430 ♪ Who let the Obama out ♪
- 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,933 ♪ Who-who who-who-who ♪
- 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,336 ( siren blaring )
- 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,105 Oh-oh police are here !
- 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,573 Oooohhhh !
- 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,209 Ooohhh ! Ooohhh ! Ooohhh !
- 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,611 Okay people, time to disperse.
- 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,079 Party's over.
- 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:17,650 - Boooo ! - It's a party! Obama!
- 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,818 Come on, time to go home.
- 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,987 What are you, a McCain voter ?
- 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:22,855 Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah !
- 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,891 Sorry pal, but Obama's President now !
- 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:28,694 Obam-a ! Obam-a !
- 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:31,296 Obama !
- 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,999 Yeah, yeah, flip the cop car !
- 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,001 Flip the cop car !
- 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,771 Hey, put down my car !
- 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,573 Yes we can !
- 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:45,444 No... Hey stop it !
- 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,980 Jesus Christ.
- 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,248 ♪ Obama you're so fine ♪
- 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:50,716 ♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪
- 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,552 ♪ Hey Obama ♪
- 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,658 Hey you guys wanna buy a TV ?
- 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,871 ( light applause )
- 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,075 Bravo, Obama and McCain.
- 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,410 Ten years you two have been working on this plan
- 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,080 and you finally pulled it off.
- 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,082 Guys we've all known each other a long time
- 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,017 had many incredible adventures
- 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,253 but this is going to be our greatest feat ever.
- 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,388 I knew it !
- 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,925 I knew when you two ran for president you were just working an angle.
- 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,127 Always workin' the angles.
- 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:38,731 My friends, while the entire country is busy reacting to the election
- 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:44,136 we are about to pull off the greatest heist in human history.
- 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,405 So... come on, enlighten us.
- 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:49,041 What are we stealing this time ?
- 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,081 The Hope Diamond.
- 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,951 Rated number four of the ten most precious diamonds in the world.
- 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,253 Going street value, Middle Eastern market, of course
- 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,388 $ 210 million dollars.
- 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,591 210 ?!
- 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,059 Million.
- 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:07,726 No, no, no, no, no.
- 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,495 The Hope Diamond is ungettable.
- 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,497 Every thief in the world knows that.
- 00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:14,466 Almost ungettable.
- 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,369 The diamond is kept in the Smithsonian Natural History Museum
- 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:20,839 long considered to be the most thief-proof structure ever built.
- 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,841 The diamond wing is protected by impenetrable walls
- 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,143 of 2-foot wide steel.
- 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:27,179 On the northeast side, a seven-five laser system.
- 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,248 There is simply no side of the Smithsonian
- 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,783 that can be breached.
- 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,317 So you go in from the roof.
- 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,752 Drop into it from the top.
- 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,853 Can't get to it from the top.
- 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,322 Because a polymer shelf runs the entire expanse.
- 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,491 Okay, you can't get into the museum from any side
- 00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,193 and you can't drop from above.
- 00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,128 So you can't get the diamond.
- 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:47,166 Meet the presidential escape tunnel.
- 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,767 A two-mile-long underground passage
- 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:49,768 that runs from the White House
- 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,771 to a location outside the city limits in case of an attack.
- 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,040 The tunnel is only accessible from the Oval Office
- 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,775 and just happens to travel...
- 00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:01,313 right underneath the Smithsonian Natural History Museum.
- 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,215 - Boom baby ! - Boom baby !
- 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,583 You get somebody into that tunnel
- 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,084 they can blast into the museum -
- 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,553 let the others in...
- 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,121 The heist is on.
- 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,989 So you both run for president
- 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,624 because one you has to win
- 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,893 and you've got your access to the tunnel.
- 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,563 And we run a particularly brutal campaign
- 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,932 so that the nation is as distracted as possible
- 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,835 over the next eight hours.
- 00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:25,003 This all sounds very risky.
- 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,339 We've spent ten years putting this plan together.
- 00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:30,275 If we are indeed the greatest thief club in the world--
- 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,777 And we are.
- 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:32,978 We won't get caught.
- 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,549 Yes I'm trying to locate my parents.
- 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,118 My name is Kyle Broflovski.
- 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,154 Yes, I know Obama won.
- 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,555 Kyle-- Kyle you gotta get out here !
- 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,156 What ?
- 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,524 Your little brother's climbed out onto the window !
- 00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,025 I think he's going to jump !
- 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,594 Oh my God !
- 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,830 Wahhh !
- 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,198 Ike don't do it !
- 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,634 There's still so much to live for !
- 00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,637 No ! Nooo !
- 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,138 I know you really wanted McCain to win
- 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,074 but it's going to be okay.
- 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,877 ( babbling baby-speak )
- 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,280 No, that's not true, Ike !
- 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:11,083 The economy could easily stabilize with Obama's plan !
- 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,784 ( babbly bee )
- 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:13,852 Ike, don't jump !
- 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,188 You could really hurt your ankle or something.
- 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,825 Really, Ike that's like five feet off the ground...
- 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,360 don't do it !
- 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,996 Good bye !
- 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,497 - No ! - No !
- 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,235 Ike... Oh crap Ike !?
- 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,676 Alright everyone, I'm turning in for the night.
- 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,745 Go to standard security, team three.
- 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,880 Sir...Sir, we have a bit of a problem.
- 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,483 - What ? - The new President Elect is here.
- 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,318 He wants in to the Oval Office.
- 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:49,655 Barack Obama ?
- 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,629 They're all right through here, sir.
- 00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:58,630 Uh, hello.
- 00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,500 Is there something we can do for you Mr. Obama ?
- 00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,402 Just checking out the new digs.
- 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,437 How are you guys ?
- 00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:06,972 Good, sir.
- 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:10,108 I'd like to see the Oval Office, please.
- 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,510 Right now ?
- 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,111 I don't waste time, gentlemen.
- 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,413 I've only got two months to figure out
- 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,547 how I want to redecorate,
- 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:16,748 if you know what I mean.
- 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,185 You know, change the drapes and stuff.
- 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:24,122 Sure, right this way Mr...President.
- 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,858 I will need absolute privacy,
- 00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,026 is that understood ?
- 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,528 Yes, Sir.
- 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:30,696 Thanks.
- 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,466 I got a hundred dollars !
- 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,868 Alright, McCain...I'm in.
- 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,470 Nicely done, B.
- 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,472 We're in position outside the Smithsonian.
- 00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:42,507 You find the escape tunnel ?
- 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,309 I'm already on it.
- 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,579 Boom baby.
- 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,254 Yeah!
- 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,557 Weeeeww... change...
- 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,093 Change !
- 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:02,394 Dad...Dad we have a problem !
- 00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,628 Not anymore we don't !
- 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,130 Everything's different now !
- 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,432 No, Dad we gotta take Kyle's brother to the hospital !
- 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,167 We don't have to take crap
- 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,371 from the rich fat cats anymore !
- 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,739 Dude, he's wasted.
- 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,708 Hey it's my boss! Hey boss !
- 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,443 Oh hello, Marsh.
- 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:19,578 Yeah, you know what ?
- 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,113 Fuck you !
- 00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:21,913 Huh ?
- 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,449 You heard me you fucking piece of shit !
- 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,152 I can finally tell you what I think of you !
- 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,653 Fuckin' asshole.
- 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,988 Dad what are you doing ?!
- 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,024 It's okay, Stan, everything's changed.
- 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:35,827 I don't need his stupid fucking job anymore !
- 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,063 You're a little fucking ass fuck.
- 00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,531 Piece a' shit !
- 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,299 You know what Obama said ?
- 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,201 "Yes we can !"
- 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,070 Hey, I voted for Obama !
- 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,472 Obama's not talking about you !
- 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,507 Can someone help us !
- 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,709 My little brother fell out the window !
- 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,247 I just want to say to everyone
- 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:58,316 who's a little disappointed that we lost the election
- 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,419 that there's always next year !
- 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:04,256 Maybe I'll run for Vice President again in 2009 !
- 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:09,327 Uh, Mrs. Palin have you seen or heard from John McCain ?
- 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,931 Uhh, no, I don't really know where he went.
- 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,400 Kind of seems a little odd, I guess, but--
- 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,635 ( ring )
- 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:21,473 Oh, my phone's going ringy-- Excuse me.
- 00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:22,641 Hallooo ?
- 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,643 Hello Sarah, it's McCain.
- 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,645 ( in a British voice ) I hope to God you're calling to tell me
- 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,181 you're in position below the vault with the L-7 charges.
- 00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,415 I'm in the tunnel now, Sarah.
- 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,284 Should be almost below the museum.
- 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,187 Just make sure you don't blow the transformers along with the tunnel
- 00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,222 because it will trigger the 5.4 laser system.
- 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,957 And don't damage any coupling wires
- 00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:41,059 or it'll be worthless when Garret shuts down the grid.
- 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,361 I'll be there in 30.
- 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,630 God, she's awesome.
- 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,934 ( In Palin Voice ) Oh, I guess Senator McCain's gonna fly me back to Alaska now.
- 00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,769 He's got a private jet you know.
- 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:54,573 Okay, bye-bye then !
- 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,241 Bloody idiots.
- 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,717 Alright here we go.
- 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,721 What's that noise ?
- 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:12,924 It's ok, just some construction outside.
- 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,201 Oh no --
- 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,838 McCain...we've got a problem.
- 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,878 ( moaning weakly )
- 00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,547 Hang in there Ike, we're gonna get you help.
- 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,351 Hey, there's some people !
- 00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,788 Listen, stay back stay back !
- 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,291 We don't have any more room in the ark !
- 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,492 You have to let us in !
- 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,994 You know the country is doomed !
- 00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,495 Who are you to turn us away ?
- 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,597 I built this bunker in case McCain lost !
- 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,167 There isn't enough room for everyone !
- 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,801 Hey excuse me, but we need some help !
- 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,437 I know you do but there's no more room I tell ya!
- 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,072 You're going to deny them too ?
- 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,341 God sakes man they're children !
- 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,776 Look them in the eyes
- 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,945 and tell them you won't take them in !
- 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,680 Look at their little cheeks !
- 00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,415 Let go of my face asshole.
- 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:11,183 Alright damn you !
- 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:12,551 The children can come in !
- 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,519 No, we don't want in your stupid shelter !
- 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,688 - Okay then I want their place. - Me too !
- 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,456 We need to get a ride to the hospital !
- 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,726 There isn't going to be a hospital, don't you get it !?
- 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,328 Let us in now !
- 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,500 Oh jeez it's already happening !
- 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,368 Society's breaking down !
- 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,204 Obama hasn't been elected four hours
- 00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,273 and already the country is going to hell !
- 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:44,449 Mr. Obama... Sir ?
- 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,151 Alright, give me the keys.
- 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,523 Is there a problem, gentlemen ?
- 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,659 Uh no, no Sir... Everything ok in there ?
- 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,127 Why wouldn't it be ?
- 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,263 I'm sorry, but I asked to be left alone.
- 00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,298 Yes, Sir it's just that...
- 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,100 Your wife is here.
- 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:02,934 My wife ?
- 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,203 Barack, everyone's been looking for you !
- 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,771 What on Earth are you doing ?
- 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,306 Uh... come on in, darling.
- 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,175 Th-thank you boys.
- 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,815 Okay Barack, tell me what's going on.
- 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:20,352 Michelle there's something I need tell you.
- 00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,487 What is it ?
- 00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:25,056 Barack, what is it ?
- 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,458 The laser system guarding the diamond
- 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:30,895 was replaced with an optical relay three days ago.
- 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,697 You gotta be kidding me !
- 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,300 So the entire diamond vault is inaccessible ?
- 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,202 Is McCain online ?
- 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,471 Hi Michelle.
- 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,374 Your guys weren't running update checks on the security logs ?
- 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,510 Michelle, we need you to do a different scan hack to the vault relay.
- 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:47,445 On a new system-- in an hour ?
- 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,446 Are you nuts ?
- 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,815 My job was to pretend to be married to this bozo
- 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,385 and get you three scan hacks into a laser system.
- 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,486 Michelle, it's Sarah.
- 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,687 They did replace the laser system
- 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,422 but the new one isn't brand new.
- 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,024 It's an old H-7 series-
- 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,092 you can break this baby in 30 minutes.
- 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,795 Ugh, tell Davis to get me a foretrans emitter
- 00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,530 and enough pulse drives to light a spark.
- 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:08,166 - You catch that Davis ? - I'm on it.
- 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:13,438 We made it, Ike.
- 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,906 You're going to be okay.
- 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,375 ( moan )
- 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,716 There, just take a seat over there !
- 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:25,483 Excuse me !
- 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,385 My little brother needs medical attention.
- 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,121 Was he an Obama supporter or a McCain supporter ?
- 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,489 Why does that matter ?
- 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,091 Because then I'll know if he partied too hard
- 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,160 or if he tried to kill himself.
- 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,736 Ma'am please, I think my little brother needs immediate help !
- 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,071 You don't understand, kid !
- 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,672 There's only two doctors on call !
- 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,909 And Doctor Wilson is out celebrating in the street somewhere !
- 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,811 So where's the other doctor ?
- 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,683 Hey, come on people !
- 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:01,286 We can keep partying can't we ?
- 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,188 Yes we can !
- 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,156 Come on let's sing !
- 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,659 ♪ Ohhhh - bama ♪
- 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:11,096 ♪ Well you came and you gave without taking ♪
- 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,897 - Shut up ! - Ahggh !
- 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,265 ♪ But I sent you away ♪
- 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,934 ♪ Oh bama ♪
- 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:19,804 ♪ When you kissed me and stopped me from shaking ♪
- 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,041 ♪ But I sent you away ♪
- 00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,275 I've almost got it.
- 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,177 You're only going to have five minutes...
- 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,412 do you understand ?
- 00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:29,814 Did you really not like pretending to be married ?
- 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,250 Oh Jesus, now is not the time, B.
- 00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,853 Come on, you have to admit we had some fun.
- 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,020 My girls need somebody better
- 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,555 than a world-class diamond thief.
- 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,124 Wait, there, I got it.
- 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,558 Alright everyone we're about to go
- 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,193 so here's the revised schedule:
- 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,628 4:40 am...the team gathers
- 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,797 at the northwest exit of the museum.
- 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,032 4:45 am... Michelle hacks the optical relay
- 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,368 allowing me access to the rear doors.
- 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,536 Go !
- 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,005 4:46... From inside I can open the doors
- 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:57,175 and let in the rest of the crew.
- 00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:59,911 5:10 am... At the department of power Quincy shuts down the grid
- 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,147 disabling power to the vault room.
- 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,249 5:12... My Grandmother, who faked her death on Monday
- 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,050 calls in a bomb threat to the museum.
- 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,554 I said I put a bomb in your building, yes.
- 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,556 5:13... The guards open the southwest door
- 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,325 checking the museum for any bombs.
- 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,694 5:14... McCain, dressed as a football player
- 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,397 enters security and shuts off the diamond case alarm.
- 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,006 Hey you, stop !
- 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,140 Michelle and I head back into the tunnel
- 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:32,544 and the hole is patched.
- 00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,746 5:15 am... I walk out of the Oval Office
- 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,048 with the diamond securely hidden in my anus.
- 00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,217 All done, thanks.
- 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,597 [all]: Boom baby !
- 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,165 Just one thing-
- 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,100 don't you think people are going to be suspicious
- 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,302 when you disappear ?
- 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,703 Go looking for you ?
- 00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:01,806 We hired a guy for that a couple months ago.
- 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:11,783 ( click, beep )
- 00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,455 What the hell ?
- 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,282 Ike ?
- 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,651 Boom baby !
- 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:06,170 Here are all the tickets for your group, Mr. Sanchez.
- 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,039 Thank you very much.
- 00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,876 Well, friends, let us depart.
- 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,412 Hey uh...you guys go ahead.
- 00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:16,681 I just came to say goodbye.
- 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:17,982 What ?
- 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,517 I've decided to hang it up.
- 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,653 Maybe give this President thing a shot.
- 00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,521 B, you can't be serious !
- 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,058 Besides, you died in a jet in the Rocky Mountains, remember ?
- 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,627 Could have been I didn't make that flight.
- 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,828 What do you say, Michelle ?
- 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:33,565 Would you and your girls like to move into the White House with me ?
- 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:34,899 You know, settle down,
- 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,769 just be President and First Lady for a while ?
- 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,404 You're serious.
- 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,040 Who knows, maybe we could change a few things.
- 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,075 What'dya say ?
- 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:46,511 Ah...what the fuck.
- 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,283 I just love happy endings.
- 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,629 It's still here... It's all still here !
- 00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:07,732 Does that meanmaybe we overreacted ?
- 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,101 No, no, I wouldn't say that.
- 00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:13,137 It's just maybe...
- 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,506 Maybe Obama will be alright.
- 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:22,580 Ugh... oh ow... ow...
- 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:26,117 Hey, where are my pants ?
- 00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:27,719 Where's our TV ?
- 00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,388 Where are my pants and where's my TV ?
- 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:33,791 Dad your boss called he said you're fired.
- 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,494 Ugh-- God dammit !
- 00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,863 Obama said things would be different !
- 00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:41,599 That son of a bitch lied to us !
- 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,701 I knew I should have voted for McCain !
- 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,036 Ragh !
- 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:14,400 Саут-Парк 12х12 - О прошлой ночи
- 00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:24,900 Переведено на сайте notabenoid.com Переводчики: kochemer, reaper, psmggt, dead, Shark, iJumper
- 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:42,293 Есть здесь кто-либо, кто все еще сомневается, что в Америке все возможно?
- 00:00:42,537 --> 00:00:46,409 Кто все еще сомневается, что мечты основателей Америки живы в наших сердцах?
- 00:00:46,635 --> 00:00:49,191 Кто до сих сомневается в силе нашей демократии?
- 00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:50,883 Сегодяншний вечер - ответ вам.
- 00:00:53,026 --> 00:00:59,530 ДААА! ОБАМА!! УРААА! У нас получилось! Усилия были не напрасны!
- 00:00:59,342 --> 00:01:02,988 Это был долгий путь, но сегодня, благодаря тому, что мы сделали
- 00:01:02,988 --> 00:01:06,842 на этих выборах, в этот определяющий момент, Перемены пришли в Америку.
- 00:01:07,105 --> 00:01:13,458 ДААА! Да, Обама! Перемены! Пе... Перемены!
- 00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:16,767 Саша, Малия Эн, я люблю вас обеих больше чем вы можете себе представить.
- 00:01:16,861 --> 00:01:20,206 И вы получите щенка, который будет жить с нами в белом доме.
- 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,199 Назовем его Спарклс.
- 00:01:23,308 --> 00:01:27,932 Он такой потрясающий. Он идеальный и потрясающий.
- 00:01:28,158 --> 00:01:31,898 Где бы мы ни встретили гражданина в сомениях или тех, кто говорят нам, вы не сможете,
- 00:01:31,936 --> 00:01:35,977 мы ответим им лозунгом, который объединяет души людей.
- 00:01:36,109 --> 00:01:37,650 Да, мы можем.
- 00:01:37,782 --> 00:01:40,357 Да, мы можем.
- 00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:41,973 Да, я могу.
- 00:01:42,255 --> 00:01:43,872 Да, я могу.
- 00:01:44,473 --> 00:01:48,533 Перемены грядут, люди! У-хууу!
- 00:01:49,229 --> 00:01:51,541 Вы видели, наш парень победил.
- 00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:52,481 У нас получилось.
- 00:01:52,518 --> 00:01:54,906 Все теперь будет просто замечательно.
- 00:01:55,018 --> 00:01:57,199 Да, это лучший день наших жизней.
- 00:01:57,293 --> 00:01:58,740 Да, мы можем.
- 00:01:58,815 --> 00:02:01,033 Я даже не знаю, что теперь делать.
- 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:03,033 Я знаю, что делать.
- 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,695 Неудачники!
- 00:02:05,695 --> 00:02:08,139 Неудачники!
- 00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:10,139 Неудачники!
- 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,402 - Неудачники! - Заткнись уже!
- 00:02:13,402 --> 00:02:15,402 - Неудачники! - Мы проиграли?
- 00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:17,402 Это естественно.
- 00:02:17,402 --> 00:02:20,432 Это естественно - испытывать сейчас некоторое разочарование.
- 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,432 Но мы сражались изо всех сил.
- 00:02:22,432 --> 00:02:26,090 И хотя всем нам плохо, это поражение мое, а не ваше.
- 00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:28,853 - О нет! - О нет!
- 00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:31,673 Бедный Джон МакКейн. Похоже ему действительно грустно.
- 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,943 Нет! Этого не должно было случиться! Нет!
- 00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:37,330 - Стивен! - Все кончено, Линда!
- 00:02:37,330 --> 00:02:39,718 Страна, которую мы знали, изменится навсегда.
- 00:02:39,962 --> 00:02:42,199 Мы все умрем!
- 00:02:42,612 --> 00:02:44,248 Откуда ты это знаешь, Стивен?
- 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,030 С таким неопытным человеком в роли президента, мы можем не сомневаться.
- 00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:49,868 Он прав, игра окончена, пнятненько?
- 00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:52,462 К рассвету мы все умрем.
- 00:02:52,462 --> 00:02:55,244 Баттерс, папочка любит тебя.
- 00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:58,815 Просто запомни, что он всегда тебя любил.
- 00:03:00,169 --> 00:03:03,458 - Вуху, Обама! - Пошел вон отсюда!
- 00:03:07,913 --> 00:03:09,586 Чувак, ты не видел моих родителей?
- 00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:13,082 Нет, все празднуют на улицах
- 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,827 Что не так с твоим братом?
- 00:03:15,827 --> 00:03:17,180 Он поддерживал Маккейна
- 00:03:19,022 --> 00:03:21,015 Не волнуйся, Айк, Обама тоже ничего.
- 00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:31,353 Господин президент, сюда. Отличная работа. Отличная работа, Обама.
- 00:03:31,353 --> 00:03:33,007 Спасибо вам за поддержку.
- 00:03:33,007 --> 00:03:36,917 А теперь, если вы не возражаете, мы посвятим остаток вечера долгожданному отдыху.
- 00:03:41,203 --> 00:03:43,082 Сенатор МакКейн?
- 00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,939 Президент Обама?
- 00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:54,417 Бабах, детка!
- 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:58,477 Хе-хе, мужик, отлично сработано. Я уж было подумал, что будет ничья.
- 00:03:58,477 --> 00:03:59,793 Вот бы мы тогда попали.
- 00:03:59,793 --> 00:04:01,793 Да не, ты отлично сыграл, не было ни единого шанса на ничью.
- 00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:04,774 Это МакКейн, у нас получилось. Обама - президент.
- 00:04:05,282 --> 00:04:08,966 Ага, я уже слышал. Парни, вы знаете, что выжили из ума?
- 00:04:08,966 --> 00:04:12,406 Конечно. Собери остальную команду, у нас в запасе всего 10 часов.
- 00:04:12,406 --> 00:04:14,154 Конечно, трудная часть окончена, так?
- 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,541 На самом деле, трудности только начинаются.
- 00:04:26,861 --> 00:04:30,291 О-ба-ма. О-ба-ма.
- 00:04:30,291 --> 00:04:33,590 О-ба-ма. О-ба-ма.
- 00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:37,594 Пра-азд-нуй, О-ба-ма, ура!
- 00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,315 Это О-бам-о-бама.
- 00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:50,451 Да, я хочу пожаловаться на шум.
- 00:04:57,518 --> 00:04:59,774 Кто выпустил Обаму?
- 00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:08,665 О, полиция приехала. Ууу...
- 00:05:08,665 --> 00:05:10,827 Ууу...
- 00:05:10,789 --> 00:05:14,379 Так, люди, время разойтись. Вечеринка окончена.
- 00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:17,706 Ве... Вечеринка Обамы.
- 00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:20,112 Давайте же, время расходиться по домам.
- 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,330 Ты че это, за МакКейна голосовал?
- 00:05:22,330 --> 00:05:23,496 Да!
- 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,391 Извини дружок, но президентом стал Обама.
- 00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:29,530 О-ба-ма. О-ба-ма.
- 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,349 О-ба-ма! О-ба-ма!
- 00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:35,827 Да, пере... Переворачивайте мусоровоз! Переворачивайте мусоровоз!
- 00:05:36,409 --> 00:05:38,552 Эй! Отойдите от моей машины.
- 00:05:39,154 --> 00:05:40,658 Да, мы можем!
- 00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:45,676 Нет! Нет, остановитесь!
- 00:05:45,977 --> 00:05:47,274 Господи Исусе!
- 00:05:47,274 --> 00:05:54,248 У-ху... Обама, ты такой клевый, такой клевый, что у меня мозг плавится. Да, Обама. Обама!
- 00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:59,079 Эй, пацаны, не хотите телек купить?
- 00:06:14,361 --> 00:06:16,409 Браво Обама и МакКейн.
- 00:06:16,635 --> 00:06:20,939 Десять лет вы оба работали над этим планом, и, наконец, закончили.
- 00:06:21,522 --> 00:06:25,470 Парни, мы знаем друг друга уже долгое время, побывали в невообразимых приключениях.
- 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:28,176 Но это будет наш величайший "подвиг"
- 00:06:28,402 --> 00:06:33,214 Я знал! Я знал! Когда вы начали эти президентские гонки, вы всего-лишь оттачивали новый план.
- 00:06:33,214 --> 00:06:35,214 Всегда отрабатываем навыки...
- 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:39,041 Друзья мои, пока вся страна занята реакцией на президентские выборы,
- 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:43,402 мы с вами произведем величайшее ограбление в человеческой истории.
- 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:48,834 Давай, просвети нас. Что мы в этот раз крадем?
- 00:06:55,112 --> 00:06:59,398 Бриллиант Надежды. Номер 4 в десятке самых дорогих бриллиантов мира.
- 00:06:59,398 --> 00:07:03,797 Цена на черном рынке, ближнего востока, конечно, около 210 миллионов баксов.
- 00:07:03,797 --> 00:07:05,620 210?
- 00:07:05,977 --> 00:07:07,481 Миллионов.
- 00:07:07,481 --> 00:07:12,180 Не-не-не. Бриллиант Надежды невозможно украсть, каждый вор в мире это знает.
- 00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:13,270 Почти невозможно.
- 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:20,939 Брилиант хранится в Смитсоновском музее естественной истории, который считается наиболее защищенным от воров сооружением.
- 00:07:21,184 --> 00:07:24,680 Комната с бриллиантами окружена стенами из 60-см стали
- 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,443 а с северо-восточной стороны система из 75 лазеров.
- 00:07:27,819 --> 00:07:31,297 В музей нельзя пробраться ни с одной стороны.
- 00:07:31,372 --> 00:07:34,079 Так ты планируешь пробраться через крышу? Спуститься сверху?
- 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,744 Сверху тоже не получится, т.к. там сигнализация все перекрывает.
- 00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:43,007 Так, ну если ты не можешь пробраться в музей ни с одной стороны и сверху тоже, то соответственно и до бриллианта не добраться.
- 00:07:44,906 --> 00:07:47,556 Разрешите представить вам Президентский эвакуационный тоннель.
- 00:07:47,556 --> 00:07:53,045 Подземный ход длиной две мили идет от белого дома до места за пределами города, сделан на случай нападения.
- 00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:57,293 Вход в тоннель возможен только из овального кабинета, а он случайно проходит под...
- 00:07:57,293 --> 00:08:00,470 под Смитсоновским музеем естественной истории.
- 00:08:01,729 --> 00:08:02,970 Бабах, детка!
- 00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:06,823 Засылаем кого-нибудь в этот тоннель, чтобы он мог взорвать проход в музей.
- 00:08:06,823 --> 00:08:09,304 Пустить внутрь остальных... Ограбление начато.
- 00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:15,376 Так вы оба балотировались в президенты, чтобы один из вас победил и вы получили доступ к тоннелю.
- 00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:18,402 И еще, мы специально вели кампанию таким образом,
- 00:08:18,402 --> 00:08:22,612 чтобы народ был максимально отвлечен в течение последующих... 8 часов.
- 00:08:23,327 --> 00:08:25,413 Все это выглядит очень рисковано.
- 00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:27,951 Мы 10 лет готовили этот план.
- 00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:30,658 Если мы и правда лучший воровской клуб в мире.
- 00:08:30,658 --> 00:08:33,233 А так оно и есть. Мы не попадемся.
- 00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:37,556 Да, я пытаюсь найти своих родителей.
- 00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,556 Меня зовут Кайл Брофловски.
- 00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:42,142 Да, я знаю, что Обама победил.
- 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,624 - Кайл, Кайл, иди быстрее сюда. - Что?
- 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:47,312 Твой младший брат забрался на окно. Я думаю он хочет выпрыгнуть.
- 00:08:47,312 --> 00:08:48,627 О мой Бог!
- 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:55,639 Айк, не делай этого. Есть ещё очень много всего, ради чего стоит жить.
- 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:02,424 Я знаю, что ты очень хотел, чтобы победил МакКейн, но... но всё будет ОК
- 00:09:07,518 --> 00:09:11,334 Нет, это не правда, Айк. Экономика могла бы легко стабилизироваться с планами Обамы.
- 00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:16,278 Айк, не прыгай, ты можешь поранить себе щиколотку или ещё что-нибудь.
- 00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:21,109 Серьёзно, Айк, тут 5 футов до земли. Не делай этого.
- 00:09:24,455 --> 00:09:25,620 НЕТ!
- 00:09:28,308 --> 00:09:30,808 Айк! Твою мать, Айк!
- 00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:38,024 Ладно, люди, я принял ночную смену.
- 00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:40,024 Уровень тревоги стандарный, команда 3?
- 00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:42,216 Сэр! Сэр, у нас есть проблемы.
- 00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:44,509 - Что? - Новоизбранный президент здесь.
- 00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:46,509 Он хочет войти в Овальный Кабинет.
- 00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:48,701 Барак Обама?
- 00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,517 Он... Он уже здесь, сэр.
- 00:09:58,513 --> 00:10:01,915 Ээ, здравствуйте. Что мы можем для вас сделать господин Обама
- 00:10:01,915 --> 00:10:04,791 Проверяю новые приобретения. Как дела, ребята?
- 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,047 Хорошо, сэр
- 00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:09,434 Я хотел бы увидеть Овальный кабинет, пожалуйста.
- 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,558 Прямо сейчас?
- 00:10:11,558 --> 00:10:15,693 Не хочу зря тратить время, господа. У меня только два месяца на смену декораций,
- 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:19,434 если вы понимаете о чем я. Шторы там поменять и все остальное.
- 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:24,077 Конечно, сюда, господин... президент.
- 00:10:25,186 --> 00:10:28,325 Я хочу, чтобы меня никто не тревожил, это ясно?
- 00:10:28,325 --> 00:10:29,340 Да, сэр.
- 00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:30,693 Спасибо.
- 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,622 Мне дали сотню баксов.
- 00:10:35,318 --> 00:10:37,554 Так, МакКейн, я внутри.
- 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:42,498 Молодец, Би. Мы прямо перед музеем. Нашел эвакуационный туннель?
- 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,641 Уже открываю.
- 00:10:46,483 --> 00:10:48,175 Бабах, детка.
- 00:10:56,521 --> 00:11:01,182 Ууу... Перемены... Перемены... Перемены!
- 00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,874 Папа, папа, у нас проблема!
- 00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:05,393 Больше никаких. Теперь все будет по-другому.
- 00:11:05,393 --> 00:11:07,686 Нет, папа, нам надо отвезти брата Кайла в больницу.
- 00:11:07,686 --> 00:11:12,272 Мы больше не будем убирать дерьмо за жирными богатыми котами.
- 00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:13,964 Он похоже уже в говно.
- 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,502 Ой, это же мой босс. Привет, босс.
- 00:11:17,066 --> 00:11:18,438 А, привет, Марш.
- 00:11:18,438 --> 00:11:21,427 Ага, знаешь что? Иди на хуй!
- 00:11:21,427 --> 00:11:24,979 - Чего? - Ты слышал меня, ебаный высер.
- 00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:28,927 Наконец-то я могу высказать тебе все, что думаю, сраная жопа.
- 00:11:28,927 --> 00:11:30,205 Папа, ты что творишь?
- 00:11:30,205 --> 00:11:32,536 Все в порядке, Стэн, все поменялось.
- 00:11:32,536 --> 00:11:35,994 Мне больше не нужна эта блядская работа.
- 00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:39,979 Ты блядский жопотрах.
- 00:11:39,979 --> 00:11:43,099 Знаешь, что сказал Обама? Да, мы можем.
- 00:11:43,099 --> 00:11:45,430 Эй, я тоже голосовал за Обаму.
- 00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:47,836 Обама не тебя имел в виду.
- 00:11:47,836 --> 00:11:51,126 Может нам кто-нибудь помочь? Мой младший брат выпал из окна.
- 00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:58,663 Я просто хотела сказать всем, кто разочарован результатами выборов,
- 00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:03,908 всегда есть следующий год. Возможно я попробую стать вицепрезидентом в 2009.
- 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,660 Миссис Пэйлин, вы виделись или разговаривали с Джоном МакКейном?
- 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:16,859 Э... нет. Я и правда не знаю где он, думаю, это странно, но...
- 00:12:16,859 --> 00:12:19,923 Ой, у меня телефон звонит, извините.
- 00:12:21,727 --> 00:12:24,885 - Алло? - Алло, Сара, это МакКейн
- 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,434 Надеюсь на бога, что ты звонишь мне, чтобы сказать, что находишься на позиции в тоннеле под хранилищем с зарядами взрывчатки.
- 00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:32,592 Я прямо в тоннеле, Сара. Должен быть прямо под музеем.
- 00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:37,742 Проследи, чтобы трансформаторы не взорвались вместе с тоннелем, иначе это включит лазерную систему 54.
- 00:12:37,742 --> 00:12:43,024 И не повреди соединительные провода, иначе все будет бесполезно, когда Гарак выключит электричество. Буду через полчаса.
- 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,024 Боже! Она охренительна.
- 00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:49,641 Похоже, сенатор МакКейн отвезет меня на Аляску.
- 00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:52,761 У него есть частный самолет, знаете ли. Ну все, пока-пока.
- 00:12:54,772 --> 00:12:56,821 Утупки.
- 00:13:04,321 --> 00:13:05,863 Так, все готово, поехали.
- 00:13:08,851 --> 00:13:12,780 - Это еще что такое? - Все нормально, что-то строят на улице.
- 00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:26,953 МакКейн, у нас проблемы.
- 00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:35,130 Успокойся, Айк, мы найдем тебе помощь.
- 00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:38,682 Вон какие-то люди.
- 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:46,239 Стойте... Все назад! В Ковчеге больше нет места.
- 00:13:46,752 --> 00:13:49,484 Ты должен нас пустить. Ты же знаешь, что страна обречена.
- 00:13:49,484 --> 00:13:51,063 Кто ты такой, чтобы гнать нас.
- 00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,898 Я построил этот бункер на случай проигрыша МакКейна, в нем нет места для всех.
- 00:13:55,173 --> 00:13:57,078 Эээ... простите, нам нужна помощь.
- 00:13:57,078 --> 00:13:59,985 Знаю, что нужна, но места больше нет, говорю же.
- 00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:01,790 Ты и их не пустишь?
- 00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,995 Ради бога, они же дети.
- 00:14:03,995 --> 00:14:07,003 Посмотри им в глаза и скажи, что не пустишь их.
- 00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:08,858 Посмотри на их маленькие щечки.
- 00:14:08,983 --> 00:14:10,737 Отпусти мое лицо, урод.
- 00:14:10,737 --> 00:14:12,737 Все хорошо. придурок. Дети вы можете войти.
- 00:14:12,737 --> 00:14:14,737 Нет. Мы не хотим в твой дурацкое убежище.
- 00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,903 - Эй, а я хочу туда. - Я тоже.
- 00:14:16,903 --> 00:14:18,903 Нам нужно доехать до больницы.
- 00:14:18,903 --> 00:14:22,166 Черт возьми, это и будет больница, вы что не поняли?
- 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:23,945 Пусти нас немедленно!
- 00:14:27,028 --> 00:14:30,562 Боже, это уже началось. Общество разваливается на части.
- 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,998 Обама был избран менее 4 часов назад, а страна уже катится в ад.
- 00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:44,522 Мистер Обама? Сэр?
- 00:14:44,522 --> 00:14:46,176 Так, ладно, давайте ключи.
- 00:14:48,682 --> 00:14:50,938 Какие-то проблемы, господа?
- 00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:54,848 Эээ... да нет, сэр. У вас все в порядке?
- 00:14:54,848 --> 00:14:58,682 А разве не должно? Простите, я разве не просил оставить меня одного?
- 00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:02,241 Да, сэр, просто... ваша жена здесь.
- 00:15:02,241 --> 00:15:07,128 - Моя жена? - Барак, тебя все ищут. Что ты здесь делаешь?
- 00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:10,361 Э, заходи, дорогая. Спа... спасибо, парни.
- 00:15:13,544 --> 00:15:16,201 Так, Барак, расскажи мне, что происходит.
- 00:15:16,978 --> 00:15:19,985 Мишель, я должен кое-что тебе сказать.
- 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,985 Что именно?
- 00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,823 Барак, что ты хочешь сказать?
- 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:29,459 Лазерная система охраны бриллианта была заменена на оптические передатчики три дня назад.
- 00:15:30,988 --> 00:15:32,792 Ты наверное шутишь.
- 00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:37,178 Так значит все в хранилище недоступно? МакКейн на связи?
- 00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:39,178 Привет, Мишель.
- 00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:42,542 Парни, вы что, не просматривали логи охраны каждый день?
- 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:46,026 Мишель, мы хотим, чтобы ты провела еще одно сканирование охранной системы.
- 00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:48,782 На новой системе всего за час? Вы рехнулись?
- 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:53,594 Моей заботой было изображать жену этого субъекта и взломать три уровня лазерной защиты.
- 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:57,780 Мишель, это Сара. Они заменили лазерную систему новой, но не абсолютно новой.
- 00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:01,414 Это старая серия H7. Ты сможешь взломать эту малышку за полчаса.
- 00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:05,725 Так. Скажите Дэвису, чтобы достал мне 4-транзисторный излучатель и достаточно мощности, чтобы получилась искра.
- 00:16:05,725 --> 00:16:08,281 - Ты все слышал, Дэвис? - Уже работаю.
- 00:16:13,065 --> 00:16:15,421 Получилось, Айк. С тобой все будет в порядке.
- 00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,895 Сюда. Садитесь вот сюда.
- 00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:27,877 Извините, моему младшему брату нужна медицинская помощь.
- 00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:30,333 Он поддерживал Обаму или МакКейна?
- 00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:31,712 А какое это имеет значение?
- 00:16:31,712 --> 00:16:35,296 Тогда я буду знать, перепил он или пытался покончить с собой.
- 00:16:42,288 --> 00:16:44,895 Мэм, пожалуйста. Думаю моему брату нужна срочная помощь.
- 00:16:45,145 --> 00:16:48,403 Ты не понял, малыш. У нас только два дежурных врача.
- 00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:51,311 И др. Вилсон празнует где-то на улице.
- 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,764 Так где другой доктор?
- 00:16:57,426 --> 00:17:01,611 Эй, люди, не спать. Мы можем продолжить вечеринку.
- 00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:05,020 Да, мы можем. Давайте петь.
- 00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:08,303 Ооо-ба-ма.
- 00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:11,962 Ты пришел и давал ничего не прося взамен.
- 00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:16,549 --твой путь, О-ба-ма.
- 00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:20,383 Когда ты меня поцеловал, моя дрожь прошла.
- 00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:27,777 Почти получилось. У вас будет всего 5 минут, поняли?
- 00:17:27,777 --> 00:17:30,383 Тебе действительно не нравилось изображать мою жену?
- 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,614 О боже, не сейчас, Би.
- 00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:35,070 Давай, признайся, нам было весело вместе.
- 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:37,977 Моим девочкам нужен кто-то лучший чем вор бриллиантов мирового уровня.
- 00:17:37,977 --> 00:17:39,581 С-Стоп, вот, я взломала.
- 00:17:39,581 --> 00:17:41,110 Так, слушайте, мы начинаем.
- 00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,639 Вот исправленное расписание.
- 00:17:42,639 --> 00:17:46,148 4:40. Команда собирается у северо-западного входа в музей.
- 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:50,684 4:45. Мишель взламывает систему оптических передатчиков, открывая мне доступ к черному ходу.
- 00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:51,611 Вперед!
- 00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:56,373 4:46. Я открываю двери изнутри и впускаю внутрь команду.
- 00:17:57,601 --> 00:18:02,188 5:10. На центральной подстанции Квинси отключает питание в главном хранилище.
- 00:18:02,489 --> 00:18:06,499 5:12. Моя бабушка, которая инсценировала свою смерть в понедельник, звонит в музей и говорит о заложенной бомбе.
- 00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:10,007 Я говорю, я заминировала ваше здание. Да.
- 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:14,068 5:30. Охрана открывает юго-западные двери во время проверки музей на бомбы.
- 00:18:14,544 --> 00:18:19,932 5:40. МакКейн, одетый как футболист, заходит в комнату охраны и отключает сигнализацию на бриллиантах.
- 00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:27,777 Эй ты! Стой!
- 00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:31,085 Мишель и я возвращаемся в тоннель, а дыру в полу заделывают.
- 00:18:32,789 --> 00:18:37,551 5:50. Я выхожу из овального кабинета с бриллиантом надежно спрятаным в моем анусе.
- 00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,551 Все готово. Спасибо.
- 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,789 Бабах, детка.
- 00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:54,544 Такс, один момент.
- 00:18:54,544 --> 00:18:59,055 Ты не думал, что будет подозрительно, если ты исчезнешь? Люди будут искать.
- 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,687 Мы наняли кое-кого с этой целью пару месяцев назад.
- 00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:16,975 Что за херня?
- 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,243 Айк?
- 00:19:44,594 --> 00:19:46,524 Бабах, детка.
- 00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:06,549 Вот билеты вашей группы, господин Санчес.
- 00:20:06,549 --> 00:20:08,002 Большое спасибо.
- 00:20:08,353 --> 00:20:10,358 Итак, друзья, мы отправляемся.
- 00:20:11,486 --> 00:20:14,343 Это... Парни, летите.
- 00:20:14,669 --> 00:20:16,343 Я просто пришел, чтобы попрощаться.
- 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,002 Что?
- 00:20:18,278 --> 00:20:21,987 Я решил завязать. Может попробовать эту штуку с президентством.
- 00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,717 Би! Ты серьезно?
- 00:20:23,717 --> 00:20:27,025 Кстати, ты не забыл, что разбился на самолете в Скалистых Горах?
- 00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:29,231 Возможно так случилось, что я не попал на этот самолет.
- 00:20:29,982 --> 00:20:33,892 Что скажешь, Мишель? Нехотела бы ты вместе с девочками переехать в Белый Дом со мной?
- 00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:37,677 Знаешь, остепениться, просто побыть президентом и его первой леди какое-то время.
- 00:20:38,078 --> 00:20:39,606 Ты серьёзно?
- 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,817 Кто знает, возможно мы сможем что-то изменить. Что скажешь?
- 00:20:43,817 --> 00:20:46,574 Что за черт?!
- 00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:53,040 Люблю хэппи-энды.
- 00:21:00,283 --> 00:21:03,767 Все на месте. Тут все еще на месте.
- 00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,927 Это означает, что мы отреагировали слишком сильно?
- 00:21:07,927 --> 00:21:09,927 Нет, я бы так не сказал.
- 00:21:09,927 --> 00:21:12,564 Просто возможно...
- 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:15,947 Может быть с Обамой все будет нормально.
- 00:21:17,827 --> 00:21:22,664 Ох... Ох, оу... Оу...
- 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,296 Эй, где мои штаны?
- 00:21:26,373 --> 00:21:30,759 Где наш телевизор? Где мои штаны и мой телевизор?
- 00:21:30,759 --> 00:21:32,759 Пап, твой начальник звонил. Он сказал что ты уволен.
- 00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:36,850 Черт! Черт! Черт!
- 00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:39,155 Обама обещал нам, что всё будет по другому.
- 00:21:39,155 --> 00:21:41,687 Сукин сын врал нам
- 00:21:41,687 --> 00:21:44,243 Так и знал, что следовало голосовать за МакКейна.
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