О прошлой ночи

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♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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♪ ( mumbling ) ♪

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♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

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( cheers and applause )

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If there is anyone out there tonight

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who still doubts that America is a place

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where all things are possible.

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Who still wonders if

the dream of our founders

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is alive in our time

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who still questions

the power of our democracy...

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tonight is your answer.

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Yeah !

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Obama !

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Woo-hooo !

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We did it,

we f-ing did it !

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Yeah !

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It's been a long time

coming but tonight,

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because of what we did on

this date in this election

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at this defining moment

change has come to America.

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Yeah !

Yeah Obama !

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Change !

It's changeeeee !

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Sasha and Malia I love you both

more than you can imagine.

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And you have earned the new puppy

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that's coming with us to the White House.

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We will name him "Sparkles".

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He's so awesome !

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He's so perfect and awesome !

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Where we are met

with cynicism and doubt

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and those who tell us that we can't.

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We will respond with that timeless creed

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that sums up the spirit of a people.

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Yes we can.

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( crowd )

Yes we can !

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Yes I can !

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Here comes the change everybody !

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Whoooo!

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Did you see ?

Our man is in !

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We did it !

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Everything is going to be awesome now !

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This is the greatest day of our lives !

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Yes we can !

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I don't even know what to do now !

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I know what to do !

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Looosers...

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(Chanting)

Looosers !

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Loosers !

Looosers !

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Oh shut up !!

00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,100

We lost ?

00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,735

It is natural.

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It's natural, tonight,

to feel some disappointment.

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We fought as hard as we could.

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And though we fell short

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the failure is mine, not yours.

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No !

No !

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Aww, poor ol' John McCain.

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He looks real sad.

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No, no, this can't happen-- no !

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Steven !

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It's all over, Linda !

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The country as we know it

is about to change.

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We're all dead.

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You don't know that Steven !

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With an inexperienced

man as president, we do know it !

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He is right, game over man, m'kay !

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We'll probably be dead by sunrise !

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Butters, Daddy loves you.

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Just remember that.

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He always loved you.

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( knock on door )

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Wooo ! Obama !

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Get outta here !

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( doorbell ringing )

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Dude have you seen my parents ?

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No, everyone's out

partying in the streets.

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What's wrong with your brother ?

00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,364

He was a McCain supporter.

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It's okay, Ike, Obama will do fine.

00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,568

Wahhhh !

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- Mr. President, over here!

- Congratulations!

00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,676

- Great job Mr. President !

- Great job, Obama!

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Thank you all for your support.

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If you don't mind I'm going to

spend the rest of the evening

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getting some much needed rest.

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Senator McCain !

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'President' Obama.

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( snickering )

( snickering )

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- Boom baby !

- Boom baby !

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Oh man that was perfect !

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I almost thought we were

going to tie for a minute there.

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That would have screwed us !

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You played it perfectly.

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There was no way.

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It's McCain, we did it.

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Obama is President.

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Yeah, so I've heard.

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You guys are out of your freaking minds,

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you know that ?

00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,014

Yes, we do.

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Assemble the rest of the team,

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we've only got ten hours.

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Sure, hard part's over, right ?

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Actually, the hard part's just starting.

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♪ Yahoo ♪

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Obama, yeah, I can't believe it !

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Obama !

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[Everyone chanting]

Obama ! Obama ! Obama !

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♪ Celabrate good Obama ♪

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♪ Come on ♪

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♪ It's Oba-Obama ♪

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Bleechh !

00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,788

Yes, I'd like to make a noise complaint.

00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,190

♪ Who let the dogs out ♪

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♪ Who-who who-who-who ♪

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♪ Who let the dogs out ♪

00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,762

Obama !

Obama !

00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,430

♪ Who let the Obama out ♪

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♪ Who-who who-who-who ♪

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( siren blaring )

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Oh-oh police are here !

00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,573

Oooohhhh !

00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,209

Ooohhh !

Ooohhh !

Ooohhh !

00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,611

Okay people, time to disperse.

00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,079

Party's over.

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- Boooo !

- It's a party! Obama!

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Come on, time to go home.

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What are you, a McCain voter ?

00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:22,855

Yeah !

Yeah !

Yeah !

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Sorry pal, but Obama's President now !

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Obam-a !

Obam-a !

00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:31,296

Obama !

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Yeah, yeah, flip the cop car !

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Flip the cop car !

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Hey, put down my car !

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Yes we can !

00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:45,444

No...

Hey stop it !

00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,980

Jesus Christ.

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♪ Obama you're so fine ♪

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♪ You're so fine you blow my mind ♪

00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,552

♪ Hey Obama ♪

00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,658

Hey you guys wanna buy a TV ?

00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,871

( light applause )

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Bravo, Obama and McCain.

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Ten years you two have been

working on this plan

00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,080

and you finally pulled it off.

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Guys we've all

known each other a long time

00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,017

had many incredible adventures

00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,253

but this is going to be our

greatest feat ever.

00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,388

I knew it !

00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,925

I knew when you two ran for president

you were just working an angle.

00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,127

Always workin' the angles.

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My friends, while the entire country

is busy reacting to the election

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we are about to pull off

the greatest heist in human history.

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So... come on, enlighten us.

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What are we stealing this time ?

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The Hope Diamond.

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Rated number four of the

ten most precious diamonds in the world.

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Going street value,

Middle Eastern market, of course

00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,388

$ 210 million dollars.

00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,591

210 ?!

00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,059

Million.

00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:07,726

No, no, no, no, no.

00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,495

The Hope Diamond is ungettable.

00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,497

Every thief in the world knows that.

00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:14,466

Almost ungettable.

00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,369

The diamond is kept in the

Smithsonian Natural History Museum

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long considered to be the most

thief-proof structure ever built.

00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,841

The diamond wing is protected

by impenetrable walls

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of 2-foot wide steel.

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On the northeast side,

a seven-five laser system.

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There is simply no side of the Smithsonian

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that can be breached.

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So you go in from the roof.

00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,752

Drop into it from the top.

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Can't get to it from the top.

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Because a polymer shelf

runs the entire expanse.

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Okay, you can't get into

the museum from any side

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and you can't drop from above.

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So you can't get the diamond.

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Meet the presidential escape tunnel.

00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,767

A two-mile-long underground passage

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that runs from the White House

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to a location outside the city limits

in case of an attack.

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The tunnel is only accessible

from the Oval Office

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and just happens to travel...

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right underneath the Smithsonian

Natural History Museum.

00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,215

- Boom baby !

- Boom baby !

00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,583

You get somebody into that tunnel

00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,084

they can blast into the museum -

00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,553

let the others in...

00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,121

The heist is on.

00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,989

So you both run for president

00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,624

because one you has to win

00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,893

and you've got your access to the tunnel.

00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,563

And we run a particularly brutal campaign

00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,932

so that the nation is as

distracted as possible

00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,835

over the next eight hours.

00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:25,003

This all sounds very risky.

00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,339

We've spent ten years

putting this plan together.

00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:30,275

If we are indeed the greatest

thief club in the world--

00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,777

And we are.

00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:32,978

We won't get caught.

00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,549

Yes I'm trying to locate my parents.

00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,118

My name is Kyle Broflovski.

00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,154

Yes, I know Obama won.

00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,555

Kyle-- Kyle you gotta get out here !

00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,156

What ?

00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,524

Your little brother's climbed

out onto the window !

00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,025

I think he's going to jump !

00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,594

Oh my God !

00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,830

Wahhh !

00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,198

Ike don't do it !

00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,634

There's still so much to live for !

00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,637

No ! Nooo !

00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,138

I know you really wanted McCain to win

00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,074

but it's going to be okay.

00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,877

( babbling baby-speak )

00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,280

No, that's not true, Ike !

00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:11,083

The economy could easily

stabilize with Obama's plan !

00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,784

( babbly bee )

00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:13,852

Ike, don't jump !

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,188

You could really hurt

your ankle or something.

00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,825

Really, Ike that's like

five feet off the ground...

00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,360

don't do it !

00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,996

Good bye !

00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,497

- No !

- No !

00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,235

Ike...

Oh crap Ike !?

00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,676

Alright everyone, I'm turning in for the night.

00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,745

Go to standard security, team three.

00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,880

Sir...Sir, we have a bit of a problem.

00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,483

- What ?

- The new President Elect is here.

00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,318

He wants in to the Oval Office.

00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:49,655

Barack Obama ?

00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,629

They're all right through here, sir.

00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:58,630

Uh, hello.

00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,500

Is there something we can

do for you Mr. Obama ?

00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,402

Just checking out the new digs.

00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,437

How are you guys ?

00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:06,972

Good, sir.

00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:10,108

I'd like to see the Oval Office, please.

00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,510

Right now ?

00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,111

I don't waste time, gentlemen.

00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,413

I've only got two months to figure out

00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,547

how I want to redecorate,

00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:16,748

if you know what I mean.

00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,185

You know, change the drapes and stuff.

00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:24,122

Sure, right this way Mr...President.

00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,858

I will need absolute privacy,

00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,026

is that understood ?

00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,528

Yes, Sir.

00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:30,696

Thanks.

00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,466

I got a hundred dollars !

00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,868

Alright, McCain...I'm in.

00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,470

Nicely done, B.

00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,472

We're in position outside the Smithsonian.

00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:42,507

You find the escape tunnel ?

00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,309

I'm already on it.

00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,579

Boom baby.

00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,254

Yeah!

00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,557

Weeeeww... change...

00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,093

Change !

00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:02,394

Dad...Dad we have a problem !

00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,628

Not anymore we don't !

00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,130

Everything's different now !

00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,432

No, Dad we gotta take Kyle's

brother to the hospital !

00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,167

We don't have to take crap

00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,371

from the rich fat cats anymore !

00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,739

Dude, he's wasted.

00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,708

Hey it's my boss!

Hey boss !

00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,443

Oh hello, Marsh.

00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:19,578

Yeah, you know what ?

00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,113

Fuck you !

00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:21,913

Huh ?

00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,449

You heard me you fucking piece of shit !

00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,152

I can finally tell you what I think of you !

00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,653

Fuckin' asshole.

00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,988

Dad what are you doing ?!

00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,024

It's okay, Stan, everything's changed.

00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:35,827

I don't need his stupid

fucking job anymore !

00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,063

You're a little fucking ass fuck.

00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,531

Piece a' shit !

00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,299

You know what Obama said ?

00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,201

"Yes we can !"

00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,070

Hey, I voted for Obama !

00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,472

Obama's not talking about you !

00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,507

Can someone help us !

00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,709

My little brother fell out the window !

00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,247

I just want to say to everyone

00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:58,316

who's a little disappointed

that we lost the election

00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,419

that there's always next year !

00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:04,256

Maybe I'll run for

Vice President again in 2009 !

00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:09,327

Uh, Mrs. Palin have you seen or

heard from John McCain ?

00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,931

Uhh, no, I don't really

know where he went.

00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,400

Kind of seems a little odd, I guess, but--

00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,635

( ring )

00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:21,473

Oh, my phone's going ringy--

Excuse me.

00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:22,641

Hallooo ?

00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,643

Hello Sarah, it's McCain.

00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,645

( in a British voice )

I hope to God you're calling to tell me

00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,181

you're in position below the

vault with the L-7 charges.

00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,415

I'm in the tunnel now, Sarah.

00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,284

Should be almost below the museum.

00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,187

Just make sure you don't blow

the transformers along with the tunnel

00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,222

because it will trigger the 5.4 laser system.

00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,957

And don't damage any coupling wires

00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:41,059

or it'll be worthless when

Garret shuts down the grid.

00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,361

I'll be there in 30.

00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,630

God, she's awesome.

00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,934

( In Palin Voice )

Oh, I guess Senator McCain's

gonna fly me back to Alaska now.

00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:50,769

He's got a private jet you know.

00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:54,573

Okay, bye-bye then !

00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,241

Bloody idiots.

00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,717

Alright here we go.

00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,721

What's that noise ?

00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:12,924

It's ok, just some construction outside.

00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,201

Oh no --

00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,838

McCain...we've got a problem.

00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,878

( moaning weakly )

00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,547

Hang in there Ike,

we're gonna get you help.

00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,351

Hey, there's some people !

00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:43,788

Listen, stay back stay back !

00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,291

We don't have any more room in the ark !

00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,492

You have to let us in !

00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,994

You know the country is doomed !

00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,495

Who are you to turn us away ?

00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,597

I built this bunker in case McCain lost !

00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:55,167

There isn't enough room for everyone !

00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,801

Hey excuse me, but we need some help !

00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,437

I know you do but there's

no more room I tell ya!

00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,072

You're going to deny them too ?

00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,341

God sakes man they're children !

00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,776

Look them in the eyes

00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,945

and tell them you won't take them in !

00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,680

Look at their little cheeks !

00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,415

Let go of my face asshole.

00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:11,183

Alright damn you !

00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:12,551

The children can come in !

00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,519

No, we don't want in your stupid shelter !

00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,688

- Okay then I want their place.

- Me too !

00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,456

We need to get a ride to the hospital !

00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,726

There isn't going to be a hospital,

don't you get it !?

00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,328

Let us in now !

00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,500

Oh jeez it's already happening !

00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,368

Society's breaking down !

00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,204

Obama hasn't been elected four hours

00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,273

and already the country is going to hell !

00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:44,449

Mr. Obama...

Sir ?

00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,151

Alright, give me the keys.

00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,523

Is there a problem, gentlemen ?

00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,659

Uh no, no Sir...

Everything ok in there ?

00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,127

Why wouldn't it be ?

00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,263

I'm sorry, but I asked to be left alone.

00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,298

Yes, Sir it's just that...

00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,100

Your wife is here.

00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:02,934

My wife ?

00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,203

Barack, everyone's been looking for you !

00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,771

What on Earth are you doing ?

00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,306

Uh... come on in, darling.

00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,175

Th-thank you boys.

00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,815

Okay Barack, tell me what's going on.

00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:20,352

Michelle there's something I need tell you.

00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,487

What is it ?

00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:25,056

Barack, what is it ?

00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,458

The laser system guarding the diamond

00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:30,895

was replaced with an

optical relay three days ago.

00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,697

You gotta be kidding me !

00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,300

So the entire diamond vault

is inaccessible ?

00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,202

Is McCain online ?

00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,471

Hi Michelle.

00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,374

Your guys weren't running update

checks on the security logs ?

00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,510

Michelle, we need you to do

a different scan hack to the vault relay.

00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:47,445

On a new system--

in an hour ?

00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,446

Are you nuts ?

00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,815

My job was to pretend to

be married to this bozo

00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,385

and get you three scan hacks

into a laser system.

00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,486

Michelle, it's Sarah.

00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,687

They did replace the laser system

00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,422

but the new one isn't brand new.

00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,024

It's an old H-7 series-

00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,092

you can break this baby in 30 minutes.

00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,795

Ugh, tell Davis to get me

a foretrans emitter

00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,530

and enough pulse drives to light a spark.

00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:08,166

- You catch that Davis ?

- I'm on it.

00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:13,438

We made it, Ike.

00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:14,906

You're going to be okay.

00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,375

( moan )

00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,716

There, just take a seat over there !

00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:25,483

Excuse me !

00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,385

My little brother needs medical attention.

00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,121

Was he an Obama supporter

or a McCain supporter ?

00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,489

Why does that matter ?

00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,091

Because then I'll know if he partied too hard

00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,160

or if he tried to kill himself.

00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,736

Ma'am please, I think

my little brother needs immediate help !

00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,071

You don't understand, kid !

00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,672

There's only two doctors on call !

00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,909

And Doctor Wilson is out celebrating

in the street somewhere !

00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,811

So where's the other doctor ?

00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,683

Hey, come on people !

00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:01,286

We can keep partying can't we ?

00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,188

Yes we can !

00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,156

Come on let's sing !

00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,659

♪ Ohhhh - bama ♪

00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:11,096

♪ Well you came and you

gave without taking ♪

00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,897

- Shut up !

- Ahggh !

00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,265

♪ But I sent you away ♪

00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,934

♪ Oh bama ♪

00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:19,804

♪ When you kissed me and

stopped me from shaking ♪

00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,041

♪ But I sent you away ♪

00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,275

I've almost got it.

00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,177

You're only going to have five minutes...

00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,412

do you understand ?

00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:29,814

Did you really not like

pretending to be married ?

00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,250

Oh Jesus, now is not the time, B.

00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,853

Come on, you have to admit

we had some fun.

00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,020

My girls need somebody better

00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,555

than a world-class diamond thief.

00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,124

Wait, there, I got it.

00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,558

Alright everyone we're about to go

00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,193

so here's the revised schedule:

00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,628

4:40 am...the team gathers

00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,797

at the northwest exit of the museum.

00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,032

4:45 am...

Michelle hacks the optical relay

00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,368

allowing me access to the rear doors.

00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,536

Go !

00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,005

4:46...

From inside I can open the doors

00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:57,175

and let in the rest of the crew.

00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:59,911

5:10 am...

At the department of power

Quincy shuts down the grid

00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,147

disabling power to the vault room.

00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,249

5:12...

My Grandmother, who faked

her death on Monday

00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,050

calls in a bomb threat to the museum.

00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,554

I said I put a bomb in your building, yes.

00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,556

5:13...

The guards open the southwest door

00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,325

checking the museum for any bombs.

00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,694

5:14...

McCain, dressed as a football player

00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,397

enters security and shuts off

the diamond case alarm.

00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,006

Hey you, stop !

00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,140

Michelle and I head back into the tunnel

00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:32,544

and the hole is patched.

00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,746

5:15 am...

I walk out of the Oval Office

00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,048

with the diamond securely

hidden in my anus.

00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,217

All done, thanks.

00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,597

[all]:

Boom baby !

00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,165

Just one thing-

00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,100

don't you think people

are going to be suspicious

00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,302

when you disappear ?

00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,703

Go looking for you ?

00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:01,806

We hired a guy for that

a couple months ago.

00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:11,783

( click, beep )

00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,455

What the hell ?

00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,282

Ike ?

00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,651

Boom baby !

00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:06,170

Here are all the tickets

for your group, Mr. Sanchez.

00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,039

Thank you very much.

00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,876

Well, friends, let us depart.

00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,412

Hey uh...you guys go ahead.

00:20:14,446 --> 00:20:16,681

I just came to say goodbye.

00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:17,982

What ?

00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,517

I've decided to hang it up.

00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,653

Maybe give this President thing a shot.

00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,521

B, you can't be serious !

00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,058

Besides, you died in a jet in

the Rocky Mountains, remember ?

00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,627

Could have been I didn't make that flight.

00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,828

What do you say, Michelle ?

00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:33,565

Would you and your girls like to move into

the White House with me ?

00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:34,899

You know, settle down,

00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,769

just be President and First Lady for a while ?

00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,404

You're serious.

00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,040

Who knows, maybe we could

change a few things.

00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,075

What'dya say ?

00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:46,511

Ah...what the fuck.

00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,283

I just love happy endings.

00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,629

It's still here...

It's all still here !

00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:07,732

Does that meanmaybe we overreacted ?

00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,101

No, no, I wouldn't say that.

00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:13,137

It's just maybe...

00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,506

Maybe Obama will be alright.

00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:22,580

Ugh... oh ow... ow...

00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:26,117

Hey, where are my pants ?

00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:27,719

Where's our TV ?

00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:30,388

Where are my pants and where's my TV ?

00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:33,791

Dad your boss called he said you're fired.

00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,494

Ugh--

God dammit !

00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,863

Obama said things would be different !

00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:41,599

That son of a bitch lied to us !

00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,701

I knew I should have voted for McCain !

00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,036

Ragh !

00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:24,900

Переведено на сайте notabenoid.com

Переводчики: kochemer, reaper, psmggt, dead, Shark, iJumper

00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:42,293

Есть здесь кто-либо, кто все еще сомневается, что в Америке все возможно?

00:00:42,537 --> 00:00:46,409

Кто все еще сомневается, что мечты основателей Америки живы в наших сердцах?

00:00:46,635 --> 00:00:49,191

Кто до сих сомневается в силе нашей демократии?

00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:50,883

Сегодяншний вечер - ответ вам.

00:00:53,026 --> 00:00:59,530

ДААА! ОБАМА!! УРААА! У нас получилось! Усилия были не напрасны!

00:00:59,342 --> 00:01:02,988

Это был долгий путь, но сегодня, благодаря тому, что мы сделали

00:01:02,988 --> 00:01:06,842

на этих выборах, в этот определяющий момент, Перемены пришли в Америку.

00:01:07,105 --> 00:01:13,458

ДААА! Да, Обама! Перемены! Пе... Перемены!

00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:16,767

Саша, Малия Эн, я люблю вас обеих больше чем вы можете себе представить.

00:01:16,861 --> 00:01:20,206

И вы получите щенка, который будет жить с нами в белом доме.

00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,199

Назовем его Спарклс.

00:01:23,308 --> 00:01:27,932

Он такой потрясающий. Он идеальный и потрясающий.

00:01:28,158 --> 00:01:31,898

Где бы мы ни встретили гражданина в сомениях или тех, кто говорят нам, вы не сможете,

00:01:31,936 --> 00:01:35,977

мы ответим им лозунгом, который объединяет души людей.

00:01:36,109 --> 00:01:37,650

Да, мы можем.

00:01:37,782 --> 00:01:40,357

Да, мы можем.

00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:41,973

Да, я могу.

00:01:42,255 --> 00:01:43,872

Да, я могу.

00:01:44,473 --> 00:01:48,533

Перемены грядут, люди! У-хууу!

00:01:49,229 --> 00:01:51,541

Вы видели, наш парень победил.

00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:52,481

У нас получилось.

00:01:52,518 --> 00:01:54,906

Все теперь будет просто замечательно.

00:01:55,018 --> 00:01:57,199

Да, это лучший день наших жизней.

00:01:57,293 --> 00:01:58,740

Да, мы можем.

00:01:58,815 --> 00:02:01,033

Я даже не знаю, что теперь делать.

00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:03,033

Я знаю, что делать.

00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,695

Неудачники!

00:02:05,695 --> 00:02:08,139

Неудачники!

00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:10,139

Неудачники!

00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,402

- Неудачники!

- Заткнись уже!

00:02:13,402 --> 00:02:15,402

- Неудачники!

- Мы проиграли?

00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:17,402

Это естественно.

00:02:17,402 --> 00:02:20,432

Это естественно - испытывать сейчас некоторое разочарование.

00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,432

Но мы сражались изо всех сил.

00:02:22,432 --> 00:02:26,090

И хотя всем нам плохо, это поражение мое, а не ваше.

00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:28,853

- О нет!

- О нет!

00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:31,673

Бедный Джон МакКейн. Похоже ему действительно грустно.

00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,943

Нет! Этого не должно было случиться! Нет!

00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:37,330

- Стивен!

- Все кончено, Линда!

00:02:37,330 --> 00:02:39,718

Страна, которую мы знали, изменится навсегда.

00:02:39,962 --> 00:02:42,199

Мы все умрем!

00:02:42,612 --> 00:02:44,248

Откуда ты это знаешь, Стивен?

00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,030

С таким неопытным человеком в роли президента, мы можем не сомневаться.

00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:49,868

Он прав, игра окончена, пнятненько?

00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:52,462

К рассвету мы все умрем.

00:02:52,462 --> 00:02:55,244

Баттерс, папочка любит тебя.

00:02:55,244 --> 00:02:58,815

Просто запомни, что он всегда тебя любил.

00:03:00,169 --> 00:03:03,458

- Вуху, Обама!

- Пошел вон отсюда!

00:03:07,913 --> 00:03:09,586

Чувак, ты не видел моих родителей?

00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:13,082

Нет, все празднуют на улицах

00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,827

Что не так с твоим братом?

00:03:15,827 --> 00:03:17,180

Он поддерживал Маккейна

00:03:19,022 --> 00:03:21,015

Не волнуйся, Айк, Обама тоже ничего.

00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:31,353

Господин президент, сюда. Отличная работа. Отличная работа, Обама.

00:03:31,353 --> 00:03:33,007

Спасибо вам за поддержку.

00:03:33,007 --> 00:03:36,917

А теперь, если вы не возражаете, мы посвятим остаток вечера долгожданному отдыху.

00:03:41,203 --> 00:03:43,082

Сенатор МакКейн?

00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,939

Президент Обама?

00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:54,417

Бабах, детка!

00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:58,477

Хе-хе, мужик, отлично сработано. Я уж было подумал, что будет ничья.

00:03:58,477 --> 00:03:59,793

Вот бы мы тогда попали.

00:03:59,793 --> 00:04:01,793

Да не, ты отлично сыграл, не было ни единого шанса на ничью.

00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:04,774

Это МакКейн, у нас получилось. Обама - президент.

00:04:05,282 --> 00:04:08,966

Ага, я уже слышал. Парни, вы знаете, что выжили из ума?

00:04:08,966 --> 00:04:12,406

Конечно. Собери остальную команду, у нас в запасе всего 10 часов.

00:04:12,406 --> 00:04:14,154

Конечно, трудная часть окончена, так?

00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,541

На самом деле, трудности только начинаются.

00:04:26,861 --> 00:04:30,291

О-ба-ма. О-ба-ма.

00:04:30,291 --> 00:04:33,590

О-ба-ма. О-ба-ма.

00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:37,594

Пра-азд-нуй, О-ба-ма, ура!

00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,315

Это О-бам-о-бама.

00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:50,451

Да, я хочу пожаловаться на шум.

00:04:57,518 --> 00:04:59,774

Кто выпустил Обаму?

00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:08,665

О, полиция приехала. Ууу...

00:05:08,665 --> 00:05:10,827

Ууу...

00:05:10,789 --> 00:05:14,379

Так, люди, время разойтись. Вечеринка окончена.

00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:17,706

Ве... Вечеринка Обамы.

00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:20,112

Давайте же, время расходиться по домам.

00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:22,330

Ты че это, за МакКейна голосовал?

00:05:22,330 --> 00:05:23,496

Да!

00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,391

Извини дружок, но президентом стал Обама.

00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:29,530

О-ба-ма. О-ба-ма.

00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,349

О-ба-ма! О-ба-ма!

00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:35,827

Да, пере... Переворачивайте мусоровоз! Переворачивайте мусоровоз!

00:05:36,409 --> 00:05:38,552

Эй! Отойдите от моей машины.

00:05:39,154 --> 00:05:40,658

Да, мы можем!

00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:45,676

Нет! Нет, остановитесь!

00:05:45,977 --> 00:05:47,274

Господи Исусе!

00:05:47,274 --> 00:05:54,248

У-ху... Обама, ты такой клевый, такой клевый, что у меня мозг плавится. Да, Обама. Обама!

00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:59,079

Эй, пацаны, не хотите телек купить?

00:06:14,361 --> 00:06:16,409

Браво Обама и МакКейн.

00:06:16,635 --> 00:06:20,939

Десять лет вы оба работали над этим планом, и, наконец, закончили.

00:06:21,522 --> 00:06:25,470

Парни, мы знаем друг друга уже долгое время, побывали в невообразимых приключениях.

00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:28,176

Но это будет наш величайший "подвиг"

00:06:28,402 --> 00:06:33,214

Я знал! Я знал! Когда вы начали эти президентские гонки, вы всего-лишь оттачивали новый план.

00:06:33,214 --> 00:06:35,214

Всегда отрабатываем навыки...

00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:39,041

Друзья мои, пока вся страна занята реакцией на президентские выборы,

00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:43,402

мы с вами произведем величайшее ограбление в человеческой истории.

00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:48,834

Давай, просвети нас. Что мы в этот раз крадем?

00:06:55,112 --> 00:06:59,398

Бриллиант Надежды. Номер 4 в десятке самых дорогих бриллиантов мира.

00:06:59,398 --> 00:07:03,797

Цена на черном рынке, ближнего востока, конечно, около 210 миллионов баксов.

00:07:03,797 --> 00:07:05,620

210?

00:07:05,977 --> 00:07:07,481

Миллионов.

00:07:07,481 --> 00:07:12,180

Не-не-не. Бриллиант Надежды невозможно украсть, каждый вор в мире это знает.

00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:13,270

Почти невозможно.

00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:20,939

Брилиант хранится в Смитсоновском музее естественной истории, который считается наиболее защищенным от воров сооружением.

00:07:21,184 --> 00:07:24,680

Комната с бриллиантами окружена стенами из 60-см стали

00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,443

а с северо-восточной стороны система из 75 лазеров.

00:07:27,819 --> 00:07:31,297

В музей нельзя пробраться ни с одной стороны.

00:07:31,372 --> 00:07:34,079

Так ты планируешь пробраться через крышу? Спуститься сверху?

00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:37,744

Сверху тоже не получится, т.к. там сигнализация все перекрывает.

00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:43,007

Так, ну если ты не можешь пробраться в музей ни с одной стороны и сверху тоже, то соответственно и до бриллианта не добраться.

00:07:44,906 --> 00:07:47,556

Разрешите представить вам Президентский эвакуационный тоннель.

00:07:47,556 --> 00:07:53,045

Подземный ход длиной две мили идет от белого дома до места за пределами города, сделан на случай нападения.

00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:57,293

Вход в тоннель возможен только из овального кабинета, а он случайно проходит под...

00:07:57,293 --> 00:08:00,470

под Смитсоновским музеем естественной истории.

00:08:01,729 --> 00:08:02,970

Бабах, детка!

00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:06,823

Засылаем кого-нибудь в этот тоннель, чтобы он мог взорвать проход в музей.

00:08:06,823 --> 00:08:09,304

Пустить внутрь остальных... Ограбление начато.

00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:15,376

Так вы оба балотировались в президенты, чтобы один из вас победил и вы получили доступ к тоннелю.

00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:18,402

И еще, мы специально вели кампанию таким образом,

00:08:18,402 --> 00:08:22,612

чтобы народ был максимально отвлечен в течение последующих... 8 часов.

00:08:23,327 --> 00:08:25,413

Все это выглядит очень рисковано.

00:08:25,413 --> 00:08:27,951

Мы 10 лет готовили этот план.

00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:30,658

Если мы и правда лучший воровской клуб в мире.

00:08:30,658 --> 00:08:33,233

А так оно и есть. Мы не попадемся.

00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:37,556

Да, я пытаюсь найти своих родителей.

00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,556

Меня зовут Кайл Брофловски.

00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:42,142

Да, я знаю, что Обама победил.

00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,624

- Кайл, Кайл, иди быстрее сюда.

- Что?

00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:47,312

Твой младший брат забрался на окно. Я думаю он хочет выпрыгнуть.

00:08:47,312 --> 00:08:48,627

О мой Бог!

00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:55,639

Айк, не делай этого. Есть ещё очень много всего, ради чего стоит жить.

00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:02,424

Я знаю, что ты очень хотел, чтобы победил МакКейн, но... но всё будет ОК

00:09:07,518 --> 00:09:11,334

Нет, это не правда, Айк. Экономика могла бы легко стабилизироваться с планами Обамы.

00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:16,278

Айк, не прыгай, ты можешь поранить себе щиколотку или ещё что-нибудь.

00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:21,109

Серьёзно, Айк, тут 5 футов до земли. Не делай этого.

00:09:24,455 --> 00:09:25,620

НЕТ!

00:09:28,308 --> 00:09:30,808

Айк! Твою мать, Айк!

00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:38,024

Ладно, люди, я принял ночную смену.

00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:40,024

Уровень тревоги стандарный, команда 3?

00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:42,216

Сэр! Сэр, у нас есть проблемы.

00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:44,509

- Что?

- Новоизбранный президент здесь.

00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:46,509

Он хочет войти в Овальный Кабинет.

00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:48,701

Барак Обама?

00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:57,517

Он... Он уже здесь, сэр.

00:09:58,513 --> 00:10:01,915

Ээ, здравствуйте. Что мы можем для вас сделать господин Обама

00:10:01,915 --> 00:10:04,791

Проверяю новые приобретения. Как дела, ребята?

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,047

Хорошо, сэр

00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:09,434

Я хотел бы увидеть Овальный кабинет, пожалуйста.

00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,558

Прямо сейчас?

00:10:11,558 --> 00:10:15,693

Не хочу зря тратить время, господа. У меня только два месяца на смену декораций,

00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:19,434

если вы понимаете о чем я. Шторы там поменять и все остальное.

00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:24,077

Конечно, сюда, господин... президент.

00:10:25,186 --> 00:10:28,325

Я хочу, чтобы меня никто не тревожил, это ясно?

00:10:28,325 --> 00:10:29,340

Да, сэр.

00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:30,693

Спасибо.

00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,622

Мне дали сотню баксов.

00:10:35,318 --> 00:10:37,554

Так, МакКейн, я внутри.

00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:42,498

Молодец, Би. Мы прямо перед музеем. Нашел эвакуационный туннель?

00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,641

Уже открываю.

00:10:46,483 --> 00:10:48,175

Бабах, детка.

00:10:56,521 --> 00:11:01,182

Ууу... Перемены... Перемены... Перемены!

00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,874

Папа, папа, у нас проблема!

00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:05,393

Больше никаких. Теперь все будет по-другому.

00:11:05,393 --> 00:11:07,686

Нет, папа, нам надо отвезти брата Кайла в больницу.

00:11:07,686 --> 00:11:12,272

Мы больше не будем убирать дерьмо за жирными богатыми котами.

00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:13,964

Он похоже уже в говно.

00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,502

Ой, это же мой босс. Привет, босс.

00:11:17,066 --> 00:11:18,438

А, привет, Марш.

00:11:18,438 --> 00:11:21,427

Ага, знаешь что? Иди на хуй!

00:11:21,427 --> 00:11:24,979

- Чего?

- Ты слышал меня, ебаный высер.

00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:28,927

Наконец-то я могу высказать тебе все, что думаю, сраная жопа.

00:11:28,927 --> 00:11:30,205

Папа, ты что творишь?

00:11:30,205 --> 00:11:32,536

Все в порядке, Стэн, все поменялось.

00:11:32,536 --> 00:11:35,994

Мне больше не нужна эта блядская работа.

00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:39,979

Ты блядский жопотрах.

00:11:39,979 --> 00:11:43,099

Знаешь, что сказал Обама? Да, мы можем.

00:11:43,099 --> 00:11:45,430

Эй, я тоже голосовал за Обаму.

00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:47,836

Обама не тебя имел в виду.

00:11:47,836 --> 00:11:51,126

Может нам кто-нибудь помочь? Мой младший брат выпал из окна.

00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:58,663

Я просто хотела сказать всем, кто разочарован результатами выборов,

00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:03,908

всегда есть следующий год. Возможно я попробую стать вицепрезидентом в 2009.

00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,660

Миссис Пэйлин, вы виделись или разговаривали с Джоном МакКейном?

00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:16,859

Э... нет. Я и правда не знаю где он, думаю, это странно, но...

00:12:16,859 --> 00:12:19,923

Ой, у меня телефон звонит, извините.

00:12:21,727 --> 00:12:24,885

- Алло?

- Алло, Сара, это МакКейн

00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,434

Надеюсь на бога, что ты звонишь мне, чтобы сказать, что находишься на позиции в тоннеле под хранилищем с зарядами взрывчатки.

00:12:29,434 --> 00:12:32,592

Я прямо в тоннеле, Сара. Должен быть прямо под музеем.

00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:37,742

Проследи, чтобы трансформаторы не взорвались вместе с тоннелем, иначе это включит лазерную систему 54.

00:12:37,742 --> 00:12:43,024

И не повреди соединительные провода, иначе все будет бесполезно, когда Гарак выключит электричество. Буду через полчаса.

00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,024

Боже! Она охренительна.

00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:49,641

Похоже, сенатор МакКейн отвезет меня на Аляску.

00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:52,761

У него есть частный самолет, знаете ли. Ну все, пока-пока.

00:12:54,772 --> 00:12:56,821

Утупки.

00:13:04,321 --> 00:13:05,863

Так, все готово, поехали.

00:13:08,851 --> 00:13:12,780

- Это еще что такое?

- Все нормально, что-то строят на улице.

00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:26,953

МакКейн, у нас проблемы.

00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:35,130

Успокойся, Айк, мы найдем тебе помощь.

00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:38,682

Вон какие-то люди.

00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:46,239

Стойте... Все назад! В Ковчеге больше нет места.

00:13:46,752 --> 00:13:49,484

Ты должен нас пустить. Ты же знаешь, что страна обречена.

00:13:49,484 --> 00:13:51,063

Кто ты такой, чтобы гнать нас.

00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,898

Я построил этот бункер на случай проигрыша МакКейна, в нем нет места для всех.

00:13:55,173 --> 00:13:57,078

Эээ... простите, нам нужна помощь.

00:13:57,078 --> 00:13:59,985

Знаю, что нужна, но места больше нет, говорю же.

00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:01,790

Ты и их не пустишь?

00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,995

Ради бога, они же дети.

00:14:03,995 --> 00:14:07,003

Посмотри им в глаза и скажи, что не пустишь их.

00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:08,858

Посмотри на их маленькие щечки.

00:14:08,983 --> 00:14:10,737

Отпусти мое лицо, урод.

00:14:10,737 --> 00:14:12,737

Все хорошо. придурок. Дети вы можете войти.

00:14:12,737 --> 00:14:14,737

Нет. Мы не хотим в твой дурацкое убежище.

00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,903

- Эй, а я хочу туда.

- Я тоже.

00:14:16,903 --> 00:14:18,903

Нам нужно доехать до больницы.

00:14:18,903 --> 00:14:22,166

Черт возьми, это и будет больница, вы что не поняли?

00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:23,945

Пусти нас немедленно!

00:14:27,028 --> 00:14:30,562

Боже, это уже началось. Общество разваливается на части.

00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,998

Обама был избран менее 4 часов назад, а страна уже катится в ад.

00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:44,522

Мистер Обама? Сэр?

00:14:44,522 --> 00:14:46,176

Так, ладно, давайте ключи.

00:14:48,682 --> 00:14:50,938

Какие-то проблемы, господа?

00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:54,848

Эээ... да нет, сэр. У вас все в порядке?

00:14:54,848 --> 00:14:58,682

А разве не должно? Простите, я разве не просил оставить меня одного?

00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:02,241

Да, сэр, просто... ваша жена здесь.

00:15:02,241 --> 00:15:07,128

- Моя жена?

- Барак, тебя все ищут. Что ты здесь делаешь?

00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:10,361

Э, заходи, дорогая. Спа... спасибо, парни.

00:15:13,544 --> 00:15:16,201

Так, Барак, расскажи мне, что происходит.

00:15:16,978 --> 00:15:19,985

Мишель, я должен кое-что тебе сказать.

00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,985

Что именно?

00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,823

Барак, что ты хочешь сказать?

00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:29,459

Лазерная система охраны бриллианта была заменена на оптические передатчики три дня назад.

00:15:30,988 --> 00:15:32,792

Ты наверное шутишь.

00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:37,178

Так значит все в хранилище недоступно? МакКейн на связи?

00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:39,178

Привет, Мишель.

00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:42,542

Парни, вы что, не просматривали логи охраны каждый день?

00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:46,026

Мишель, мы хотим, чтобы ты провела еще одно сканирование охранной системы.

00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:48,782

На новой системе всего за час? Вы рехнулись?

00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:53,594

Моей заботой было изображать жену этого субъекта и взломать три уровня лазерной защиты.

00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:57,780

Мишель, это Сара. Они заменили лазерную систему новой, но не абсолютно новой.

00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:01,414

Это старая серия H7. Ты сможешь взломать эту малышку за полчаса.

00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:05,725

Так. Скажите Дэвису, чтобы достал мне 4-транзисторный излучатель и достаточно мощности, чтобы получилась искра.

00:16:05,725 --> 00:16:08,281

- Ты все слышал, Дэвис?

- Уже работаю.

00:16:13,065 --> 00:16:15,421

Получилось, Айк. С тобой все будет в порядке.

00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,895

Сюда. Садитесь вот сюда.

00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:27,877

Извините, моему младшему брату нужна медицинская помощь.

00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:30,333

Он поддерживал Обаму или МакКейна?

00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:31,712

А какое это имеет значение?

00:16:31,712 --> 00:16:35,296

Тогда я буду знать, перепил он или пытался покончить с собой.

00:16:42,288 --> 00:16:44,895

Мэм, пожалуйста. Думаю моему брату нужна срочная помощь.

00:16:45,145 --> 00:16:48,403

Ты не понял, малыш. У нас только два дежурных врача.

00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:51,311

И др. Вилсон празнует где-то на улице.

00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,764

Так где другой доктор?

00:16:57,426 --> 00:17:01,611

Эй, люди, не спать. Мы можем продолжить вечеринку.

00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:05,020

Да, мы можем. Давайте петь.

00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:08,303

Ооо-ба-ма.

00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:11,962

Ты пришел и давал ничего не прося взамен.

00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:16,549

--твой путь, О-ба-ма.

00:17:16,549 --> 00:17:20,383

Когда ты меня поцеловал, моя дрожь прошла.

00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:27,777

Почти получилось. У вас будет всего 5 минут, поняли?

00:17:27,777 --> 00:17:30,383

Тебе действительно не нравилось изображать мою жену?

00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,614

О боже, не сейчас, Би.

00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:35,070

Давай, признайся, нам было весело вместе.

00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:37,977

Моим девочкам нужен кто-то лучший чем вор бриллиантов мирового уровня.

00:17:37,977 --> 00:17:39,581

С-Стоп, вот, я взломала.

00:17:39,581 --> 00:17:41,110

Так, слушайте, мы начинаем.

00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:42,639

Вот исправленное расписание.

00:17:42,639 --> 00:17:46,148

4:40. Команда собирается у северо-западного входа в музей.

00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:50,684

4:45. Мишель взламывает систему оптических передатчиков, открывая мне доступ к черному ходу.

00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:51,611

Вперед!

00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:56,373

4:46. Я открываю двери изнутри и впускаю внутрь команду.

00:17:57,601 --> 00:18:02,188

5:10. На центральной подстанции Квинси отключает питание в главном хранилище.

00:18:02,489 --> 00:18:06,499

5:12. Моя бабушка, которая инсценировала свою смерть в понедельник, звонит в музей и говорит о заложенной бомбе.

00:18:06,499 --> 00:18:10,007

Я говорю, я заминировала ваше здание. Да.

00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:14,068

5:30. Охрана открывает юго-западные двери во время проверки музей на бомбы.

00:18:14,544 --> 00:18:19,932

5:40. МакКейн, одетый как футболист, заходит в комнату охраны и отключает сигнализацию на бриллиантах.

00:18:25,847 --> 00:18:27,777

Эй ты! Стой!

00:18:28,228 --> 00:18:31,085

Мишель и я возвращаемся в тоннель, а дыру в полу заделывают.

00:18:32,789 --> 00:18:37,551

5:50. Я выхожу из овального кабинета с бриллиантом надежно спрятаным в моем анусе.

00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,551

Все готово. Спасибо.

00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,789

Бабах, детка.

00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:54,544

Такс, один момент.

00:18:54,544 --> 00:18:59,055

Ты не думал, что будет подозрительно, если ты исчезнешь? Люди будут искать.

00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,687

Мы наняли кое-кого с этой целью пару месяцев назад.

00:19:15,772 --> 00:19:16,975

Что за херня?

00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,243

Айк?

00:19:44,594 --> 00:19:46,524

Бабах, детка.

00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:06,549

Вот билеты вашей группы, господин Санчес.

00:20:06,549 --> 00:20:08,002

Большое спасибо.

00:20:08,353 --> 00:20:10,358

Итак, друзья, мы отправляемся.

00:20:11,486 --> 00:20:14,343

Это... Парни, летите.

00:20:14,669 --> 00:20:16,343

Я просто пришел, чтобы попрощаться.

00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,002

Что?

00:20:18,278 --> 00:20:21,987

Я решил завязать. Может попробовать эту штуку с президентством.

00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,717

Би! Ты серьезно?

00:20:23,717 --> 00:20:27,025

Кстати, ты не забыл, что разбился на самолете в Скалистых Горах?

00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:29,231

Возможно так случилось, что я не попал на этот самолет.

00:20:29,982 --> 00:20:33,892

Что скажешь, Мишель? Нехотела бы ты вместе с девочками переехать в Белый Дом со мной?

00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:37,677

Знаешь, остепениться, просто побыть президентом и его первой леди какое-то время.

00:20:38,078 --> 00:20:39,606

Ты серьёзно?

00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,817

Кто знает, возможно мы сможем что-то изменить. Что скажешь?

00:20:43,817 --> 00:20:46,574

Что за черт?!

00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:53,040

Люблю хэппи-энды.

00:21:00,283 --> 00:21:03,767

Все на месте. Тут все еще на месте.

00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,927

Это означает, что мы отреагировали слишком сильно?

00:21:07,927 --> 00:21:09,927

Нет, я бы так не сказал.

00:21:09,927 --> 00:21:12,564

Просто возможно...

00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:15,947

Может быть с Обамой все будет нормально.

00:21:17,827 --> 00:21:22,664

Ох... Ох, оу... Оу...

00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,296

Эй, где мои штаны?

00:21:26,373 --> 00:21:30,759

Где наш телевизор? Где мои штаны и мой телевизор?

00:21:30,759 --> 00:21:32,759

Пап, твой начальник звонил. Он сказал что ты уволен.

00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:36,850

Черт! Черт! Черт!

00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:39,155

Обама обещал нам, что всё будет по другому.

00:21:39,155 --> 00:21:41,687

Сукин сын врал нам

00:21:41,687 --> 00:21:44,243

Так и знал, что следовало голосовать за МакКейна.