Китайская пробрема

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Добро пожаловать! Это прямая трансляция

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с церемонии открытия Олимпийских игр в Пекине!

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Тысячи китайских исполнителей играют на древних китайских барабанах.

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Синхронность их движений, весьма впечатляет, и всё это

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благодаря их огромному количеству

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Нет... Китайцы... Нет... Кто-то должен их остановить!

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Эрик, поросёночек, у тебя опять эти кошмары про китайцев?

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Они собираются захватить мир!

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Их слишком много...

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Неет! Оставьте нас в покое!

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Поросёночек, ты в порядке?

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Мам, за мной собираются придти китайцы!

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Нет, поросёночек, китайцы не собираются придти за тобой.

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Нет, собираются! Их 2 миллиарда,

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и их экономика растёт; с их продвинутыми технологиями,

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они собираются поработить Америку!

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Итак, пацаны, нам надо поговорить.

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Знаете, мы все можем просто представить, что не видели эту церемонию открытия,

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но китайцы - вполне реальны...

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Мы должны что-то сделать.

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Мы что, так и будем думать, что у Америки всё будет пучком?

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Или мы будем ждать, пока они захватят весь мир?

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Прости... Прости, но я не могу это сделать... Я этого не буду делать.

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Кайл, ты же должен был сказать Картману типа какой он расист...

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Ну да, он идиот... Прости, но я просто...

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Я просто не могу болшьше этого делать...

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Кайл... Кайл, ты не можешь продолжать делать это...

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Знаешь... В какой-то момент тебе придётся оставить это в прошлом.

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Да? Ну, может ты можешь забыть что случилось, но я не могу.

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Слушай, что случилось, то случилось, теперь мы не можем это изменить.

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-Мы должны идти дальше.

-Идти дальше?!

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Наш друг был изнасилован, Стэн,

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Он был изнасилован!

А мы просто стояли там и ничего не сделали!

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Мы ничего не могли поделать, Кайл!

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Мы ничего не могли поделать...

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Нам нужно было уходить оттуда.

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Нужно было?

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- Может, мы могли их остановить!

- Как?

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Мне снится это каждую ночь...

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Каждый раз, когда я закрываю глаза, я вижу, как мы убегаем.

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Убегаем, оставляя его, позволяя им насиловать его ещё и ещё.

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И это потому что мы ничего не сделали...

Они убежали.

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Ты не можешь продолжать издеваться над собой, Кайл. Забудь об этом.

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Я рад, что вы, ребят, можете просто продолжать жить.

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Я не думаю, что смогу.

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Вашу мать!

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I got some splish-splash. Любимая песня Баттерса =)

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Splish-splashy more.

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- Вот ты где, Баттерс!

- Эрик!

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- Баттерс, мне нужна твоя помощь.

- Не сейчас, Эрик, я же голый.

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Китайцы собираются захватить нас,

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и, походу, мы - единственные, кого это волнует!

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Китайцы?

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Я распространял флаеры, созывал митинги, но все как будто бы

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закрыли на это глаза.

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Китайцы захватывают мир, и никто ничего не делает!

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Это наша с тобой миссия, Баттерс.

Мы должны остановить китайцев. Сейчас!

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Я не могу останавливать китайцев сегодня, Эрик,

Я должен сделать модель машинки вместе с папой.

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Ты не понимаешь, Баттерс, наши жизни могут измениться!

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Китайцев больше нас в миллион раз.

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Когда их армия придёт сюда, они убьют твоих родителей.

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- Почему они убьют моих родителей?

- Потому что китайцы ненавидят американцев.

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Вот почему я создал Фронт Освобождения Америки,

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Отряд, призванный освободить Америку от тирании китайцев.

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- Ты присоединишься ко мне?

- Я не хочу смерти своих родителей.

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Итак, ты присоединяешься к Фронту Освобождения Америки?

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- Конечно!

- Ты и я

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мы станем двумя смельчаками, которые дадут отпор.

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Мы не дадим им завладеть нашей страной!

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В }

{ китайцев!

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Ага, в }

{!

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Нет... Мы должны их остановить!

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Они насилуют его! Насилуют!

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- Давайте убираться отсюда!

- Мы не можем просто уйти!

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- Давайте!

- Это ужасно!

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- О, Боже!

- Кто-нибудь, сделайте что -нибудь!

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Почему они это делают?

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Они просто берут Индиану Джонса и они... они насилуют его!

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Я не могу смотреть!

Давай убираться отсюда, Кайл!

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Зачем Спилберг и Лукас делают это?

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Давай, пошли!

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- Почему они это делают?

- Просто беги!

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О, Боже, что же они наделали?

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Почему инопланетяне? Инопланетяне не из кино про Индиану Джонса!

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- Пошли, мы ничего не можем сделать!

- Почему? Почему?

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- Сейчас мы не можем ему помочь

- Я думал, было неплохое кино =)

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Просто пошли!

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Итак, Баттерс, мы на месте.

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- Ты готов?

- Я напуган

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Но я знаю: я нужен своей стране.

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Вот оно, Баттерс, мы должны оставаться сильными.

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Прямо сейчас мы опустим этих грёбаных китайцев.

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Всё может выглядеть не очень гладко.

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Мы должны внедриться и разузнать планы китайцев по вторжению.

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Но Эрик, с чего бы это китайцы расскажут нам о своих планах?

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Потому что мы заставим их думать, что мы - одни из них.

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Вот, вставь эти зубы. И просто говори "приветь" и "пожалустя" как можно больше

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"Приветь пожалустя"! Бинь бао чинь чонь!

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Бинь бинь приветь пожалустя.

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Добро пожаловать в ресторан P.F. Chang. Я буду вас обслуживать.

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Эрик, эти люди - не китайцы.

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- О Боже! О Боже!

- Что?

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Оно уже началось.

Белые люди работают на китайцев.

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- Голодают в своей собственной стране!

- Могу я вам помочь?

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О да! Приветь пожалустя. Мы китайские люди.

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Приветь пожалустя, бинь бао чинь чонь!

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Ага, хорошо. Почему бы вам не присесть вон там?

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- Сейчас к вам подойдет официантка.

- Пинг по чинг чо.

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Что за твою мать тут происходит?

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Мы должны прокрасться назад. Вот они!

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Китайцы! Китайцы вон там!

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Ты их видишь?

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ОМГ, китайцы здесь. Я начинаю волноваться,

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- я волнуюсь.

- Остынь.

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Они там, и они собираются закричать и ударить в эти барабаны и...

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Спасибо, Баттерс.

Ладно,

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Мы должны пойти туда и узнать то что мы можем узнать у этих крыс-комуняк.

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- Приветь пожалустя, приветь.

- Приветь, пожалустя.

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Так рад вас видеть, братья-китайцы.

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Как вы видите, мы сами - китайцы.

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Бинг бонг бинг бонг.

Чинг чо финг фонг.

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Что они делают?

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Я не знаю.

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Да! Бинг бонг бинг бонг.

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Итак, какие же у вас планы по захвату Америки?

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Я забыл.

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Я не знаю, что делать с Кайлом.

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знаешь, я не думаю, что он когда-либо станет прежним.

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А как насчёт тебя, Стэн?

Мы все были в кино в тот день.

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Мы все видели, как это случилось.

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Ну, я просто стараюсь не думать об этом.

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Я думал, что смогу жить как раньше.

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Но после того как я увидел то, как насиловали Индиану,

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После того как я увидел то, как насиловали Индиану, я знаю, что ничто никогда уже не будет прежним.

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Ты помнишь эту сцену с Индианой в холодильнике?

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Она не произвела никакого впечатления, Стэн.

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Сейчас мне это не нужно. Я просто хочу чтобы все стало как прежде.

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Ты не можешь бегать от этого вечно, Стэн!

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Рано или поздно,

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Нам всем придётся столкнуться с тем, что мы видели.

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Индиана Джонс, ура!

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Привет, Стэн!

Ты готов увидеть мой новое приключение?

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Конечно, Индиана!

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Смотри, Инди, это Стивен Спилберг и Джоржд Лукас!

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Ну, ну, привет, Индиана.

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Ты выглядишь хорошо.

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Что вы собираетесь с ним делать?

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Да, да, спусти с него штаны.

Спусти его штаны.

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Держи его, Лукас.

Давай.

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Никуда он не пойдёт!

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Нет, остановитесь!

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Итак, Баттерс, я думаю мы почти завоевали их доверие.

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Как только они расскажут нам свой план по вторжению,

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беги к той двери, лады?

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Нам понравилось, пиг линь.

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Итак, о чём это мы?

О да, план по вторжению!

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План по вторжению!

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Ещё раз, на какой день назначено вторжение в Америку?

Я забыл!

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Извините меня, мисс?

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Да, сэр?

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Эти люди не оставляют нас в покое.

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Нет, нет! Всё в порядке. Мы китайские люди.

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Вы не китайцы.

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- О Боже.

- Мы попались! Что же нам делать?

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- Ладно, почему бы нам не пойти...

- Отойдите!

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Никому не двигаться, ясно?

Не трогайте нас!

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Мы знаем, чего нужно китайцам.

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Мы видели церемонию открытия игр! Стадион встаёт!

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Всем встать к той стене! Мне это нужно!

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- Баттерс, держи их под прицелом пистолета.

- Пистолета?

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- Держи их на прицеле!

- Мне не нужен пистолет!

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Они завладевают нашей страной! Была или не была! Помоги мне!

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Вот блин!

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Всем встать к той стене! Живее! Двигайтесь!

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Мы - Фронт Освобождения Америки.

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И все вы заплатите

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за предательство своей страны китайцам.

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Это тупизм. Я пошёл.

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Никто никуда не уходит, пока не прибыла полиция!

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Пошёл ты!

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- Стреляй в него, Баттерс!

- Нет!

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Ты должен стрелять в него!

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Он предупредит китайцев и они убьют твоих предков! Стреляй!

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Блин, чел, ты ему попал между ног.

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Это не круто, Баттерс. Не стреляй парню в член.

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- Но я просто пытался его остановить, а ты сказал...

- Это не важно.

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Никогда не стреляй никому в член!

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Все знают об этом.

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Стрелять парню в член?

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Это просто... это просто слабо.

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Что ж ты за человек?

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Меня зовут Кайл Брофловски.

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Мой друг был изнасилован в прошлый уикенд.

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И я

00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:11,075

хочу помочь наказать виноватых.

00:12:12,085 --> 00:12:14,955

Ты хочешь посадить Спилберга и Лукаса

00:12:15,075 --> 00:12:17,235

за изнасилование Индианы Джонса?

00:12:17,935 --> 00:12:19,695

Я знаю, что мне придётся давать показания,

00:12:19,985 --> 00:12:22,565

что мне придётся вспомнить то, что я увидел в тот день.

00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:26,175

Но я не могу оставить Спилберга и Лукаса безнаказанными.

00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:27,305

Не сейчас.

00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,545

Даже если мне придётся делать это в одиночку.

00:12:30,185 --> 00:12:31,615

Ты не один.

00:12:33,705 --> 00:12:35,135

Мы все дадим показания.

00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,065

Мы не можем позволить им сделать это снова.

00:12:42,205 --> 00:12:44,175

- Я люблю тебя.

- Я тоже люблю тебя, Стэн.

00:12:47,305 --> 00:12:50,775

Ребята, ребят, мне жаль, но это же смешно.

00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:54,355

- Почему?

- Тут нет состава преступления.

00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:58,845

Вы не можете сказать, что они изнасиловали Индиану Джонса в новом фильме.

00:12:59,115 --> 00:13:01,735

- Вы его видели?

- Да, я его видел, но я...

00:13:03,835 --> 00:13:06,035

но я просто пытаюсь не думать об этом.

00:13:07,025 --> 00:13:09,145

Значит Вы видели, что Лукас и Спилберг сделали с ним!

00:13:09,265 --> 00:13:10,875

Я не знаю, что видел!

00:13:11,275 --> 00:13:13,595

Ну, в смысле, в кино было темно.

00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:16,945

В смысле, может, происходящее немного вышло за рамки сюжета,

00:13:17,365 --> 00:13:19,955

- но третья часть была ужасной...

- Инди заслуживал больше чем это!

00:13:20,075 --> 00:13:21,285

Убирайтесь!

00:13:21,405 --> 00:13:23,025

Просто убирайтесь с глаз моих долой!

00:13:36,485 --> 00:13:39,965

Вот и Индиана Джонс. Ты хорошо выглядишь.

00:13:46,415 --> 00:13:48,575

Давай, Лукас. Жги!

00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,555

Он сделает это прямо здесь.

00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,845

Вот так. Вот так, Джорджи!

00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:56,365

Держи его руки.

00:13:59,595 --> 00:14:00,935

Эй, оставьте его!

00:14:01,095 --> 00:14:02,225

Давай, крутой парень.

00:14:16,225 --> 00:14:17,225

Подождите.

00:14:18,195 --> 00:14:19,195

Подождите.

00:14:19,685 --> 00:14:20,905

Я хочу помочь!

00:14:32,075 --> 00:14:34,245

Слушай, мы не знаем, о чём ты говоришь.

00:14:34,365 --> 00:14:36,765

Нет никакого китайского плана по завоеванию Америки.

00:14:36,925 --> 00:14:37,915

Заткнись!

00:14:38,035 --> 00:14:40,915

Эти американские предатели возможно купились на вашу пропаганду, но только не мы!

00:14:42,775 --> 00:14:45,065

Слава Богу. Полиция здесь! Мы спасены!

00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:50,775

Тот, который с оружием, выходи, или мы стреляем на поражение.

00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:55,025

Не, не, вы не правильно поняли. Мы не с китайцами, мы - хорошие ребята.

00:15:01,255 --> 00:15:02,675

О Боже! О Боже!

00:15:02,795 --> 00:15:05,355

- Что?

- Один из копов - китаец!

00:15:05,475 --> 00:15:07,535

Сукин сын, сколько ж уже можно?

00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,455

Здесь мы не можем никому доверять!

00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:12,935

Не подходите ближе! У нас есть информация

00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:16,045

которую мы доверим только президенту США.

00:15:17,145 --> 00:15:20,055

- Президенту?

- Пошли, парни, мы заходим!

00:15:20,945 --> 00:15:24,145

Машу вать, мы серьёзно. Мы будем говорить только в президентом. Стоп!

00:15:24,305 --> 00:15:26,175

Предупредительный выстрел, Баттерс.

00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:33,835

Чел, чё за нах?

00:15:33,955 --> 00:15:35,275

Что? Что случилось?

00:15:35,395 --> 00:15:38,695

Твою ж мать, Баттерс, что я говорил о стрельбе по членам?

00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:41,825

- Я снова это сделал.

- Да что же, блин, с тобой такое?

00:15:41,945 --> 00:15:44,995

Это не круто, Баттерс.

Это НЕ круто.

00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:49,065

Не делай этого, *****

00:15:50,285 --> 00:15:53,875

- Не стреляй никому между ног.

- Хорошо, извини.

00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:57,595

Нет, не хорошо.

Мы не победим китайцев,

00:15:57,715 --> 00:16:00,405

если будем ходить и отстреливать им члены.

00:16:00,775 --> 00:16:02,205

Вашу мать!

00:16:07,655 --> 00:16:09,675

Всё здесь, перед вами, детектив.

00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:11,675

Пять достоверных заявлений от этих...

00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,345

храбрых мальчиков. Теперь всё зависит от Вас.

00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:15,975

Вы чё психи?

00:16:16,095 --> 00:16:19,935

Я не пойду и не арестую Стивена Спилберга и Джорджа Лукаса!

00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:23,195

- Но они изнасиловали Индиану Джонса!

- Я знаю, вам трудно об этом думать,

00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,525

Но вы должны оставаться сильным.

Вспомните, какие чувства вызвал у вас этот фильм.

00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,145

Я его не смотрел.

00:16:30,345 --> 00:16:33,055

- Вы не смотрели нового Индиану Джонса?

- Нет!

00:16:33,175 --> 00:16:36,245

Я не думаю, что кто-либо здесь смотрел!

Ты смотрел, Митч?

00:16:46,915 --> 00:16:49,465

Индиана Джонс! Что ты забыл в наших лесах?

00:16:50,095 --> 00:16:52,135

Давай-ка ты снимешь штаны.

00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,095

- Снять?

- Да, просто сними их.

00:16:55,665 --> 00:16:59,275

- Что вы, парни, хотите?

- Ничего не говори, просто делай это.

00:17:03,595 --> 00:17:06,795

И рубашечку тоже сними.

00:17:09,915 --> 00:17:12,195

Them panties, take 'em off.

00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:22,575

Поймал.

00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:25,065

Я знаю ты можешь визжать.

00:17:25,185 --> 00:17:27,085

Я знаю ты можешь визжать как свинья.

00:17:27,435 --> 00:17:29,405

Давай, повизжи.

Визжи!

00:17:29,825 --> 00:17:30,825

Визжи!

00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:32,615

Визжи!

00:17:32,825 --> 00:17:34,045

Визжи громче!

00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:35,545

Громче!

00:17:36,225 --> 00:17:38,145

Громче! Ложись вот сюда.

00:17:40,265 --> 00:17:43,595

Давай! Снимай штаны и повизжи!

00:17:55,745 --> 00:17:56,745

Всё в порядке.

00:17:56,965 --> 00:17:59,135

Вам больше не придется чувствовать себя одиноким.

00:18:06,805 --> 00:18:08,445

Нет, нет, это вы слушайте меня!

00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:11,235

У меня здесь атакующие китайцы и те, кто их поддерживает.

00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:14,335

Снаружи ещё больше китайцев, готовых меня убить.

00:18:14,455 --> 00:18:17,955

Защита Америки - вот что имеет значение, меня не остановит ничто.

00:18:18,075 --> 00:18:19,755

Вы понимаете, что я...

00:18:23,585 --> 00:18:24,965

- Что случилось?

- Они...

00:18:25,085 --> 00:18:27,705

пытались прорваться через крышу. Они собирались забрать у меня пушку!

00:18:27,825 --> 00:18:29,185

Хорошо. Ты их убил?

00:18:29,745 --> 00:18:30,865

Не совсем.

00:18:33,035 --> 00:18:34,985

Ух ты ж... колется.

00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,205

Я туда не целился, честно!

00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:42,505

Блин.

00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:44,305

Я честно не хотел!

00:18:44,555 --> 00:18:45,565

Чел!

00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:48,495

Знаешь что, Баттерс?

Знаешь что?

00:18:48,615 --> 00:18:49,615

Забудь!

00:18:50,635 --> 00:18:51,675

Куда ты идёшь, Эрик?

00:18:51,835 --> 00:18:53,755

Ты можешь сам разобраться с вторжением китайцев.

00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:56,675

Если ты собираешься делать это таким образом, я ухожу.

00:18:57,755 --> 00:18:58,885

Я... я сам?

00:18:59,045 --> 00:19:00,645

Я под этим не подписывался.

00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:04,345

Возьми свой американский фронт освобождения и засунь его себе куда подальше!

00:19:05,785 --> 00:19:07,795

Сдаюсь. Убейте меня. Делайте что хотите.

00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:11,105

Я больше не могу участвовать в аменриканском фронте освобождения.

00:19:11,495 --> 00:19:12,715

Идём внутрь. Двигай!

00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:26,435

джоржд Лукас и Стивен Спилберг, у нас есть ордер на ваш арест.

00:19:27,705 --> 00:19:28,775

Ломайте дверь.

00:19:35,055 --> 00:19:36,175

Бог мой!

00:19:37,695 --> 00:19:39,645

Какого вы тут делаете?

00:19:41,425 --> 00:19:42,785

У вас ничего против нас нет!

00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:44,975

$700 миллионные сборы!

00:19:45,425 --> 00:19:46,705

Вот дерьмо!

00:19:51,145 --> 00:19:53,235

- Мальчики, мы их взяли.

- Что?

00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:57,485

Спилберг и Лукас насиловали шторм-трупера, когда вломилась полиция.

00:19:57,605 --> 00:20:01,805

И они нашли мертвые изнасилованный тела Йоды и короткого круга (short round) в их шкафу.

00:20:01,925 --> 00:20:03,745

Они больше никогда не освободятся, чтобы снова делать это.

00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,085

И что теперь?

00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,365

Вы считаете, что всё вернётся на круги своя после всего этого?

00:20:09,485 --> 00:20:10,595

А что же нам остаётся?

00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,535

Мы продолжаем жить. Вот, чего хотел Инди.

00:20:13,775 --> 00:20:15,595

Мы просто стараемся жить.

00:20:18,415 --> 00:20:21,725

Всем: стойте где стоите, чтобы мы могли во всём разобраться.

00:20:21,985 --> 00:20:25,605

А не в чем разбираться! Этих детей надо отправить в тюрьму!

00:20:25,765 --> 00:20:27,265

Мы собираемся обыскать каждого

00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:29,845

- и записать показания.

- Сэр! Сэр! всё закончилось!

00:20:29,965 --> 00:20:31,435

- Они их поймали.

- Кого?

00:20:31,595 --> 00:20:33,185

Спилберга и Лукаса, они...

00:20:33,505 --> 00:20:36,065

Их наконец поймали за то, что они сделали с Индианой Джонсом, сэр.

00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:42,905

Они их поймали...

00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:46,075

- Их поймали. Всё кончено.

- Это конец.

00:20:46,635 --> 00:20:49,385

Это значит, что им больше никогда не позволят насиловать!

00:20:50,045 --> 00:20:51,235

Никогда!

00:20:51,355 --> 00:20:52,355

Правосудие!

00:20:54,495 --> 00:20:56,485

- Их поймали.

- Всё кончено.

00:20:57,245 --> 00:20:59,255

- Я люблю тебя

- Я люблю тебя, тоже.

00:21:07,385 --> 00:21:08,795

Погодь, вот и всё что ли?

00:21:09,015 --> 00:21:12,315

- Как насчёт китайского вторжения?

- Мне это больше не интересно.

00:21:12,895 --> 00:21:14,835

Видишь ли, я кое-чего понял сегодня.

00:21:14,955 --> 00:21:17,585

Как для американцев, наши опасения видеть развитие другой страны могут

00:21:17,705 --> 00:21:18,985

превратить нас в монстров.

00:21:19,485 --> 00:21:21,865

Видя, насколько чокнутыми мы стали, наблюдая,

00:21:22,025 --> 00:21:23,925

как ты стрелял людям в промежность.

00:21:24,235 --> 00:21:26,885

Это заставило меня осознать, что я хочу, чтобы америка была в безопасности,

00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:29,285

но не ценой потери достоинства.

00:21:29,665 --> 00:21:33,615

Лучше уж быть китайцем, чем неэтичными членострелами.

00:21:34,605 --> 00:21:36,045

Подумай об этом.

00:21:40,455 --> 00:21:44,215

Не могу поверить, что они посадили их в тюрьму. Я думал кино было неплохим =)

00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,544

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,179

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,814

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,048

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,217

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,885

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,554

♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,788

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,924

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,327

♪ ( mumbling ) ♪

00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,762

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,831

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,470

( announcer )

Welcome to the televised broadcast

00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:40,840

of the Olympic opening

ceremonies from Beijing.

00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,243

( drums thumping )

00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:46,112

Thousands of Chinese performers

00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:48,681

playing ancient Chinese drums.

00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,182

The precision of their movements

00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:54,453

made even more impressive

by their massive numbers.

00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,891

( audience cheering )

00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:03,696

No !

00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,664

The Chinese, no !

00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,500

Somebody has to stop them !

00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:14,573

No, no !

00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:18,411

Eric, sweetie, are you having nightmares

about the Chinese again ?

00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,379

They're gonna take over the world !

00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,580

Ahh !

00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,249

( chanting in unison )

00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,852

( Cartman )

Too many of them.

00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,054

No, leave us alone !

00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,828

No !

00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:38,264

Ahhh !

No, no !

00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,565

Sweetiekins, are you all right ?

00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:40,666

Mom...

00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,002

Mom, the Chinese are gonna get me !

00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,004

No, sweetie, the Chinese

aren't going to get you.

00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,071

They are so !

00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,239

There's 2 billion of them

00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,641

and their economy is getting better,

00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,309

and with their advances in technology,

00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:54,346

they're gonna bring down America !

00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,623

All right, guys, we need to talk.

00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,459

Y'know, we can all just pretend

00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:07,893

that we didn't see

those opening ceremonies,

00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,396

but the Chinese are very real.

00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,666

We've gotta do something.

00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,701

Are we just gonna pretend

America is going to be okay ?

00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:19,004

Are we just gonna wait until

they've taken over the world ?

00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,139

I'm sorry.

00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,774

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,142

I'm not doing this.

00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:25,911

Kyle, you're supposed to tell Cartman

he's being racist or something.

00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,046

Yeah, he's an idiot, but I'm sorry,

00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,014

I just, I can't do this anymore.

00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:33,519

Okay, i--

I can't do this anymore !

00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,589

Hmm.

00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:41,460

( knocking )

00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,730

Kyle...

00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:46,165

( sighing )

00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,400

Kyle, you can't keep doing this.

00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,169

You know what, at some point,

00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,438

you've gotta let this go.

00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,541

Yeah, well, maybe you can

forget what happened,

00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,643

but I can't.

00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,512

Look, what happened,

happened.

00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,313

We can't change it now.

00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,882

We all have to move on.

00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,283

Move on ?

00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:06,018

Our friend was raped, Stan !

00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:07,219

He was raped !

00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,021

And we all stood there and did nothing !

00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,924

There was nothing we could do, Kyle !

00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,126

There was nothing we could do.

00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,328

We had to get out of there.

00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,696

Did we ?

00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,532

Maybe we could've stopped them.

00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,800

How ?

00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,970

I dream about it every night.

00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:29,041

Every time I close my eyes,

I see us just running away.

00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:33,012

Running while they rape

him over and over again.

00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:38,484

And because we did

nothing, they got away.

00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,320

You can't keep torturing

yourself like this, Kyle.

00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,122

Let it go.

00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,792

I'm glad that you guys can just keep living.

00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,695

I don't think I can.

00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,732

(sighs)

Goddamn it.

00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:55,834

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,036

♪ I've got some splish-splash ♪

00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:57,937

♪ Loo, loo, loo ♪

00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,271

♪ Splish-splashing more ♪

00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,439

- ♪ Loo, loo, loo-- ♪

- There you are, Butters.

00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,373

Eric !

00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,141

Butters,

I need your help.

00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,176

Not now, Eric, I'm indecent.

00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,445

The Chinese are gonna

take us over, Butters,

00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,547

and we are the only people

who seem to care.

00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,882

The Chinese ?

00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,550

I handed out flyers,

called together meetings,

00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,353

but it's like everyone's

turning a blind eye.

00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:15,454

The Chinese are taking over the world

00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,456

and nobody's doing anything.

00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,757

It's up to you and me, Butters.

00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,759

We have to stop the Chinese now.

00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,728

Oh, I can't stop the Chinese tonight, Eric.

00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,430

I'm supposed to make

a model car with my Dad.

00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,631

You don't get it, Butters !

00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,299

Our lives are about to change.

00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,668

The Chinese outnumber

us a million to one.

00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:30,703

And when their army gets here,

00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,237

they're gonna kill your parents.

00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,039

Why are they gonna kill my parents ?

00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,008

Because the Chinese hate Americans.

00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:36,775

That's why I've started

00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,544

the American Liberation Front--

00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:42,448

a group dedicated to freeing America from

Chinese tyranny.

00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,016

Will you join me ?

00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,884

I don't want my parents to die.

00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,120

So you'll join the

American Liberation Front ?

00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:49,755

Well, sure.

00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:50,723

You and me,

00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,192

we're going to be the brave

little boys who fought back, Butters.

00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,494

We are not letting them

take over our country.

00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,162

Fuck the Chinese.

00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,231

Yeah, fuck 'em.

00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,570

No... no...

00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,138

No !

00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,707

( Kyle )

No, we-- no, we have to stop them !

00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:09,842

They're raping him !

Rape !

00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,610

( Stan )

Let's get out of here !

00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,245

- We can't just leave !

- Come on !

00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,014

Oh, it's horrible !

00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,282

Oh, God !

00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,184

Somebody do something !

00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,953

Why are they doing this ?

00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,621

They're just taking

Indiana Jones and they're--

00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,323

They're raping him !

00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:25,424

I can't watch !

00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:26,892

Let's get out of here, Kyle !

00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:28,661

Why would Spielberg and Lucas do that ?

00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,462

Come on, let's go !

00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,500

- Why are they doing this ?!

- Just run !

00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,402

Oh, God, what have they done ?

00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:37,936

Why aliens ?

00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,272

Aliens don't belong in

an Indiana Jones movie !

00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:41,874

Ba-bleahhh !

00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,776

Come on, dude,

there's nothing we can do.

00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,111

Why, why ?!

00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,646

We can't help him now.

00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,181

I thought it was pretty good !

00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:52,117

Let's just go,

let's just go !

00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,820

No !

00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,989

No... no.

00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,191

( crying )

00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,860

Oh, no !

00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,531

All right, Butters, we're here.

00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,165

Are you ready ?

00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,934

I'm scared, but I know

my country needs me.

00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,069

This is it, Butters.

00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,470

We have to be strong.

00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:14,640

We're taking down those

goddamn Chinese right now.

00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,179

Things could get

ugly in there, Butters.

00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,013

We've gotta infiltrate

00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,881

and find out the Chinese invasion plans.

00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,917

But, Eric, why would the Chinese tell us

00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,051

their invasion plans ?

00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,486

Because we're going to make them think

00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,587

we're one of them.

00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:29,988

Here, put these teeth in

00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,591

and just say "herro" and "prease" a lot.

00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:34,226

Oh, herro, prease.

00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:35,527

Bing-bong, ching-chong.

00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:39,064

Bing-bong, herro, prease.

00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:45,904

Uh, welcome to P.F. Chang's.

I'll be right with you.

00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,941

Eric, these people aren't Chinese.

00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,609

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God !

00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:51,510

What ?

00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:52,511

It's already started !

00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,713

White people in here

working for the Chinese.

00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,148

They're selling out their own country !

00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,050

Uh, can I help you ?

00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,551

Uh, yes, herro, prease.

00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,687

We are Chinese peopre.

00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:02,554

Herro, prease.

00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,757

Ping-pow, ding-ling.

00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,427

Uh, yeah, why don't I seat you over here ?

00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:09,795

Your waitress will be right with you.

00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,196

Ping-pow, shay-shah.

00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,564

What the hell is going on here ?

00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,433

We've gotta sneak our way

into the back, Butters--

00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,368

there they are,

Chinese people !

00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:19,371

There's Chinese people right over there !

00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,309

You see them ?

00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,010

Yeah.

00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,111

Oh, my God, the Chinese are here.

00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,413

Okay, okay, I'm freaked out,

I'm freaking out.

00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,748

Stay calm, Eric.

00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:30,349

They're right over there

00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,283

and they're gonna start screaming

00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:32,050

and banging on those drums

00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:32,618

and then they're gonna--

00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,821

Thank you, Butters.

00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:36,989

All right, we need to go over there

00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:39,758

and find out what we

can from those commie rats.

00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,460

Oh, herro, prease, herro.

00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:42,628

Herro, prease.

00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:46,598

So nice to see other

Chinese peopre here.

00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,401

As you can see, we are

Chinese peopre ourselves.

00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:50,803

Bing-bong, bing-bong.

00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,471

Ching-chong, ping-pong.

00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,076

Yes, fey oh fing chang,

00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,111

fey ow fing chang-ching.

00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,447

So what are the plans to

take over America again ?

00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,683

( laughing )

I forgot !

00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:17,129

Jimmy, I don't know what

to do about Kyle.

00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:21,033

Y'know, i-- I don't think

he's ever gonna be the same.

00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,701

And what about you, Stan ?

00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,103

We were all in the theater that day.

00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,140

We all saw it happen.

00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,076

Yeah, well, I just try not to think about it.

00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,278

I thought I could go on like before,

00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,948

but after seeing Indiana get raped--

00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:40,252

after seeing Indiana get raped,

I know I'll never be the s-s-s-sa-same.

00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,288

( sighing )

00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:47,426

Do you remember that scene

with Indiana in the refrigerator ?

00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:51,830

It didn't make any sense, Stan.

00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,298

I don't need this now.

00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,134

I just want things

to be the way they were.

00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,571

You can't run from it forever, Stan !

00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:02,341

Sooner or later, we all have to face

00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:06,011

what we s-s-s-saw.

00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:16,355

Indiana Jones, all right !

00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,389

Hey there, Stan.

00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,524

All set to see my new adventure ?

00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,727

You bet, Indiana !

00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,397

No, look out, Indie.

00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:28,033

It's Steven Spielberg and George Lucas !

00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,903

Well, well, hello there, Indiana.

00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,038

You're looking good.

00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,439

No, what are you gonna do to him ?

00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,074

( laughing )

00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,376

Oh, yeah !

00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,176

No !

00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,344

Indie !

00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,980

Yeah, get his pants down,

get his pants down !

00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,515

Hold him Lucas! Come on...

00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,284

He ain't going nowhere !

00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,184

Yeah !

00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,152

No, stop !

00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,187

Rape !

00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,791

Oohhhhhh !

00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:58,830

( sobbing )

00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,265

No !

00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:08,974

All right, Butters, I think we almost got

00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,842

the Chinese to trust us.

00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,744

Now, as soon as they tell

us their invasion plan,

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,579

make a run for that door, okay ?

00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,882

Okay, okay.

00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,817

Ha-ha, that's a good one, Ping ling.

00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,485

Ha-ha--

so where were we ?

00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,621

Oh, yes, the invasion pran.

00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,356

Invasion prang.

00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,391

What day is America invasion again ?

00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,060

( laughing )

I forget !

00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,661

Excuse me, Miss ?

00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:30,929

Yes, Sir ?

00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,466

These people won't leave us alone.

00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,567

No, no, it's okay.

00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,402

We are Chinese peopre.

00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:41,239

You aren't Chinese.

00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,441

Oh, my God.

00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,710

We're busted !

What do we do ?

00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,144

Okay, why don't we go--

00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,346

Bitch, stay back !

00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,181

Nobody moves, you got that ?

00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,749

Don't touch us !

00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,451

We know what the Chinese are up to.

00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,252

We saw the Olympic opening ceremonies !

00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,021

The jig is up !

00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:59,057

Everyone just step over

to that wall, I mean it !

00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,392

Butters, hold this gun on them.

00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:01,393

A gun ?

00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,594

Hold the gun on them, Butters !

00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:03,996

I don't want a gun, Eric.

00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,430

They're taking over our country, Butters !

00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,165

This is life or death now, help me !

00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:07,966

Oh, jeez.

00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,468

Everyone get up and get over to that wall.

00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,936

Do it, move !

00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,675

We are the American Liberation Front

00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,010

and you are all going to pay

00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:22,147

for betraying your

country to the Chinese !

00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,050

This is stupid, I'm leaving.

00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,052

Nobody's going anywhere

'til the police arrive.

00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,186

Screw you.

00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,088

- Shoot him, Butters !

- No !

00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,089

You have to shoot him,

Butters !

00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:31,957

He's gonna warn all the Chinese

00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:32,924

and they're gonna kill your parents !

00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,526

Do it, do it !

00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,561

Wah !

( gun cocking )

00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:37,129

Ow !

00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:40,665

Ahh, oww !

00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,801

Oh, dude, you shot him in the dick.

00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:43,735

Huh ?

00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:44,603

That's not cool, Butters.

00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,039

You don't shoot a guy in the dick.

00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,041

But I was just trying to

stop him, and you said--

00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:50,042

It doesn't matter, Butters.

00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,444

You never shoot a guy in the dick !

00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,912

Everyone knows that.

00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,714

Shooting a guy in the dick ?

00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,716

That's just--

that's just weak.

00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,551

I can't believe you, Butters.

00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,922

My name is Kyle Broflovski,

00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,058

my friend was raped last

memorial day weekend,

00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:08,894

and I...

I wanna help prosecute

00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,662

the men responsible.

00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,365

You want to bring Steven Spielberg

00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:17,169

and George Lucas to trial

for raping Indiana Jones.

00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,937

I know that I'll have to testify,

00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:22,574

that I'll have to relive what I saw that day...

00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:23,442

( sniffling )

00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,544

but I can't let Spielberg

and Lucas get away with it.

00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,812

Not this time.

00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,314

Even if I have to do it alone.

00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,450

( Stan )

You aren't alone.

00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,884

Stan ?

00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,352

We'll all testify.

00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,188

We can't let them ever do this again.

00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:40,792

( sobbing )

00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,528

- I love you.

- I love you too, Stan !

00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,498

( all sobbing )

00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:50,769

Uh, kids, kids, I'm sorry,

but this is ridiculous.

00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,170

What, why ?

00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,206

You don't have a case here.

00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,374

You can't really say

that Spielberg and Lucas

00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,043

raped Indiana Jones in the new film.

00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,478

Did you see it ?

00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:03,215

Yes, I saw it, but I...

00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:06,418

But I just try not to think about it.

00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,553

Then you saw what Lucas

and Spielberg did to him.

00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,622

I don't know what I saw!

00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:13,558

All right? I mean, it was

dark in the theater.

00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,895

I mean, maybe things got

a little out of hand with the plot.

00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,296

The third act clipped along--

00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,631

Indie deserved more than that !

00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:20,665

Get out !

00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,101

Just get the hell out of here !

00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:29,341

( blubbering )

00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,543

No, no, no !

00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,483

Well, well, Indiana Jones.

00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,485

You're looking nice.

00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,456

Hey... hey !

00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,391

Whoo !

00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:47,659

There you go, Lucas, stick him !

00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,529

Whoo, whoo !

00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,797

He's gonna do it right there !

00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,699

All right, all right, Georgie !

00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,234

Grab his hands, heh !

00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,638

( moaning )

00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,839

Hey, leave him alone !

00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:02,641

Come on, big guy !

00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:07,946

( grunting )

00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,815

Uurrgghhh !

00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:16,087

No... no !

00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:17,923

Wait !

00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:21,493

Wait, I...

I want to help !

00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,995

( sobbing )

00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,698

( crying )

00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:34,005

Look, we don't know

what you're talking about.

00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,408

There's no Chinese plan to take over America.

00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:37,576

Shut up !

00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,344

These American traitors might have bought

00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,346

your propaganda, but not us.

00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,948

( sirens approaching )

00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,115

Oh, thank God, the police are here.

00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,317

We're safe !

00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:48,386

You with the gun,

00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,122

step out or we will fire upon you.

00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,691

No, no, you got it wrong.

00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,927

We aren't the Chinese,

we're the good guys--

00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,299

Ahh !

00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,667

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God !

00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:03,435

What ?

00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,036

One of the cops is Chinese !

00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,372

Son of a bitch, how high up

does this thing go ?

00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,809

We can't trust anybody here, Butters.

00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:11,943

Don't come any closer !

00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,912

We have information

that we will only trust

00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,781

with the President of the United States.

00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,350

The President ?

00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,185

All right, come on, men, we're going in.

00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:20,819

No !

00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,053

Goddamn it, we're serious !

00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,388

We'll only talk to the President.

00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,356

Stop !

00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,758

Fire a warning sign, Butters !

00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,194

Ahh !

Ow, oww !

00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,598

Dude, what the fuck are you doing ?

00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,733

What ?

What happened ?

00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,635

Goddamn it, Butters,

what did I say about

00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,303

shooting guys in the dick ?

00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,771

Aww, I did it again ?

00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,606

What the hell is wrong with you ?

00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,441

That is not cool, Butters !

00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:47,379

That is not cool !

00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:50,148

You don't fucking do that !

00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:52,017

You don't shoot a guy in the dick !

00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,719

Well, okay, I'm sorry.

00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:55,720

It's not okay !

00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,122

Defeating the Chinese

won't mean anything

00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,258

if we do it by going around,

shooting people in the dick !

00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,193

Goddamn it !

00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,234

It's all right there in front of you, detective.

00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:12,170

Five sworn statements from

these brave boys.

00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,272

It's now up to you.

00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,774

Are you nuts ?

00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,908

I'm not going out and arresting

00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,744

Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,546

But they raped Indiana Jones.

00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,881

I know it's hard to think about,

00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,149

but you have to be strong.

00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:26,284

Remember how that

movie made you feel.

00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,753

I didn't see it.

00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,923

You didn't see the new

Indiana Jones movie ?

00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:32,991

No !

00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,759

I don't think anybody here saw it.

00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,728

Did you, Mitch ?

00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:41,433

Mitch ?

00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,705

Well, well, Indiana Jones.

00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,507

What you doing in our neck of the woods ?

00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,877

Now let's you just drop them pants.

00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:53,645

Drop ?

00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,447

Just take 'em right off.

00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,815

What do you guys want ?

00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,852

Don't say anything, just do it.

00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:03,221

Oh...

00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:08,093

Pull off that little old

bitty shirt there, too.

00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,764

Them panties--

take 'em off.

00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,406

Ugh, ugh...

00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,241

There, boy !

00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:24,943

I bet you can squeal.

00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,945

I bet you can squeal like a pig.

00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,213

Go on, squeal.

00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,180

- Squeal now.

- Hee...

00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,182

Squeal ! Weee !

00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,517

- Squeal !

- Weee !

00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:33,885

- Squeal louder ! Weee !

- Weee !

00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:36,020

- Louder, louder ! Weee ! Louder !

- Weee !

00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,989

- Get down there, boy !

- Weee !

00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:39,724

( chuckling )

00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,359

Get them britches down.

00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,128

Yes, Sir, come on, squeal.

00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,929

Weeee !

00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:45,997

Weee...

00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:47,799

Weeeee !

00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,601

( laughing )

00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,537

Ahhh !

00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,473

( crying )

00:17:55,508 --> 00:18:00,412

It's okay, you don't

have to feel alone anymore.

00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:03,081

( both crying )

00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,086

No, no, you listen to me.

00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,354

I have Chinese attackers here

00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,889

and Chinese supporters.

00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:11,623

If I go outside,

00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,125

there are more Chinese

ready to take me down !

00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,294

Defending America is all

that matters, Mr. President,

00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,662

and I will stop at nothing.

00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:20,298

- Do you understand that--

- ( gunshot firing )

00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,102

What happened ?

00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,970

They tried to come in through the roof.

00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,338

They were gonna take the gun !

00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,073

Good, did you kill them ?

00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,476

Not exactly.

00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:34,312

Oww, oohh, it stings !

00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:35,947

Ooohh !

00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,119

It's not where I aimed, honest !

00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,253

Dude.

00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,022

I seriously didn't mean it !

00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,957

Dude !

00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,092

You know what, Butters,

you know what ?

00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,761

Forget it.

00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,396

W-where you going, Eric ?

00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,364

You can just deal with the

Chinese invasion yourself,

00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:55,433

if that's how you're gonna do it, Butters.

00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,868

I'm out, man.

00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,670

But-- I'm by myself ?

00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,205

I didn't sign up for this.

00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,773

You take your American Liberation Front

00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,409

and you shove it up your ass.

00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,378

That's it, kill me, do whatever.

00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,915

I can no longer conscionably be a part

of the American Liberation Front.

00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,017

Go inside, move !

00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,258

( sirens blaring )

00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,062

George Lucas and Steven Spielberg,

00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,298

we have a warrant for your arrest.

00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:33,104

Break it in.

00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:34,672

( all gasping )

00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,875

My God.

00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,511

Hey, what the hell are you doing here ?

00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,480

You got nothing on us !

00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,983

700 million box office !

00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,618

This is bullshit !

00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:49,153

Ahhh, ahhh !

00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,390

Boys, we got 'em.

00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:53,157

What ?

00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,126

Spielberg and Lucas,

they were raping

00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,195

a Storm Trooper when the police broke in.

00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,264

And they found the dead, raped bodies

00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,566

of Yoda and Short Round in their closet.

00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,502

They'll never be free to do this again.

00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,937

So what now ?

00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:09,040

Do you think things can ever go

back to n-n-normal after this ?

00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,542

What do we do ?

00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,576

We live.

00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,378

That's what Indie would have wanted.

00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,980

We just try to live.

00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,182

( guns cocking )

00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,653

Everyone just stay where you are

until we can sort this all out.

00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:22,854

There's nothing to sort out.

00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,456

These kids need to be put in jail.

00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,824

We're going to search everyone

00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,126

and get statements and then--

00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,527

Sir !

Sir, it's over !

00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,029

- They got 'em.

- Got who ?

00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,898

Spielberg and Lucas, they finally got 'em

00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:37,969

for what they did to Indiana Jones, Sir.

00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:40,038

Ahh, ahhh !

00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,874

Ohh, they got 'em.

00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,008

They got 'em.

00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:46,177

It's over.

00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:49,480

That means they'll never

be free to rape again.

00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:50,915

It's over,

it's over !

00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,750

Justice !

00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:53,985

( group sobbing )

00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:56,087

- They got 'em,

- It's over !

00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:57,388

I love you.

00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,124

I love you, too !

00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,859

( crying )

00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,399

So wait, that's it ?

00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,435

What about the Chinese invasion ?

00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,537

I really don't care anymore, Butters.

00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,372

You see, I've learned something today.

00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:15,573

As Americans, our fear of seeing

00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,908

another country become powerful

00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,876

can turn us into monsters.

00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,612

Watching how crazy you went,

00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:23,815

watching you just shoot

people in the dick like that,

00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:26,651

it made me realize that

I want America to be safe,

00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:29,087

but not at the cost of losing its dignity.

00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,022

I'd rather us be Chinese

00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,958

than a nation of unethical dick-shooters.

00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,527

You think about it.

00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,566

I can't believe they put 'em in jail.

00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,168

I thought that movie was pretty good.