Фу, член! — Картману выпадает шанс заняться самой непростой задачей в школьной системе — воспитанием трудных детей, и он неожиданно добивается успеха. Миссис Гаррисон вновь хочет стать мужчиной.

Предыдущая серия S12 E04 Канада бастует

Следующая серия S12 E06 Конец соединения

Фу, член!

Eek, A Penis!

Сезон: 12Серия: 05

Описание

Картману выпадает шанс заняться самой непростой задачей в школьной системе — воспитанием трудных детей, и он неожиданно добивается успеха. Миссис Гаррисон вновь хочет стать мужчиной.

Субтитры

00:00:28,977 --> 00:00:33,279 South Park S12E05 - Eak, A Penis! (Фу! Пенис!) Автор субтитров: shoke (shoke@sibmail.com)
00:00:36,687 --> 00:00:41,526 Это всё, типа, вся моя жизнь получается один большой высер, понимаете?
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,871 Я понимаю что, просто сексуально потерялась...
00:00:44,964 --> 00:00:47,336 И потом я вижу этого человека у Опры,
00:00:47,359 --> 00:00:50,269 Она женщина, но сделала операцию и стала мужчиной, но
00:00:50,408 --> 00:00:54,720 Но потом она забеременела и родила ребенка, это значит, что она все это время была женщиной!
00:00:54,723 --> 00:00:56,831 Это значит, что я, все еще мужчина!
00:00:56,992 --> 00:00:59,710 Я все еще ощущаю себя мужчиной.
00:01:00,164 --> 00:01:02,143 У нас потом, вот по этому, тест будет?
00:01:02,178 --> 00:01:06,144 Смена пола была большой ошибкой!
00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:10,650 Все эти обезболивающие и я думала, что это, то чего я хочу...
00:01:10,672 --> 00:01:12,534 Чувак ты математику подтянуть не хочешь?..
00:01:12,682 --> 00:01:13,593 А потом...
00:01:13,676 --> 00:01:17,401 Я пошла к доктору, вот, и сказала ему: "Доктор, я хочу снова стать мужчиной".
00:01:17,405 --> 00:01:21,428 А он мне: "Слишком серьезные изменения, вы не сможете вернуться назад"
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,630 "Где вы возьмете пенис?"
00:01:23,671 --> 00:01:26,453 В СМЫСЛЕ, ГДЕ Я ВОЗЬМУ ПЕНИС?!
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,734 У ДРУГОГО МУЖИКА!
00:01:27,784 --> 00:01:30,445 Я ЗАСЛУЖИВАЮ ЧЕРТОВ ПЕНИС!
00:01:33,639 --> 00:01:36,295 Миссис ... Миссис Гаррисон!
00:01:36,656 --> 00:01:39,275 Можно с вами поговорить, пожалуйста?
00:01:40,019 --> 00:01:42,128 Что вам нужно, я пытаюсь учить...
00:01:42,132 --> 00:01:46,952 Мы считаем, что лучше для вас, сейчас НЕ учить, пока вы не приведете свою личную жизнь в норму. Понятненько?
00:01:47,028 --> 00:01:49,462 Ооо, тебе легко говорить Меки.
00:01:49,566 --> 00:01:51,440 У тебя-то есть пенис!
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:57,220 И таак дети, честно говоря у нас маленькая экстренная ситуация с вашим учителем…
00:01:57,227 --> 00:02:02,447 В общем, пока мы разбираемся с этим, нам нужно, что бы один из вас подготовил класс к завтрашнему тесту.
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,453 Я! Я!.
00:02:03,495 --> 00:02:04,470 Я! Я,я,я!
00:02:04,723 --> 00:02:05,970 Я! Я тут! Я тут, тут!
00:02:06,089 --> 00:02:10,384 Эээ... кто, кто еще желает побыть учителем на день? Кто-нибудь еще?
00:02:12,592 --> 00:02:13,412 Директор-виктория!
00:02:13,415 --> 00:02:13,974 Сюда!
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,463 Может еще желающие?..
00:02:19,662 --> 00:02:20,770 Директор-виктория!!.
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:21,369 Дирек!..
00:02:21,494 --> 00:02:24,077 Хорошо, хорошо, ладно Эрик, можешь возглавить класс.
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:24,824 Да!!!
00:02:25,344 --> 00:02:30,535 Просто вспомните всё, чему вас там учил миссис Гаррисон, а я вас вскоре навещу.
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,687 Так, так, так.
00:02:35,985 --> 00:02:38,390 Кто теперь учитель...
00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:40,216 Ага...
00:02:40,383 --> 00:02:41,471 Кто учитель?!
00:02:41,581 --> 00:02:43,227 Ты не учитель, толстожопый.
00:02:43,305 --> 00:02:45,280 Мистер Картман, Кайл!
00:02:45,287 --> 00:02:49,830 И ты, будь так добр, не перебивай меня, если не хочешь быть вздернутым на рее!
00:02:49,844 --> 00:02:51,170 Дааа...
00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:54,111 Ага, тебе так нравится, да?...
00:02:55,328 --> 00:02:58,693 Ладно, Клайд, ты первый, давай сюда.
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:01,354 Даа, сейчас ты получишь Клайд.
00:03:06,423 --> 00:03:12,006 И похоже, что местный фермерский базар, вскоре столкнется со своим закрытием.
00:03:12,511 --> 00:03:16,493 И еще одна новость сегодня, переполох в Биокомпании Саус Парка,
00:03:16,588 --> 00:03:20,576 В связи с, искусственно выращенными, частями человеческого тела, на лабораторных мышах.
00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:24,817 Эта фотография, генетически измененной мыши, для создания человеческих ушей,
00:03:24,895 --> 00:03:27,771 Уже ощутившей на себе первые порывы несогласных.
00:03:28,031 --> 00:03:28,852 Чего?..
00:03:29,212 --> 00:03:32,493 Но ученые утверждают, что этот процесс может помочь тысячам людей,
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:35,988 Которые были обезображены, и нуждаются в носах или ушах.
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:38,866 Святой Уродливый Иисус.
00:03:41,196 --> 00:03:47,243 Используя обычные генетику, и специальный материал, мы можем вырастить почти любую часть тела на мыши, какую возможно.
00:03:47,309 --> 00:03:49,783 Вот та мышь, которую вы видели по телевизору.
00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:53,483 Когда ухо полностью сформируется, его можно будет пересадить человеку.
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,227 Доктор, а что насчет пениса?
00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:00,318 Ну, пенис, это то, что мужчина засовывает во влагалище женщины.
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:05,078 Нет, нет, нет! Если, я дам вам часть своей ДНК, вы сможете вырастить пенис на мыши, для меня?
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,995 Вы не понимаете, производство очень дорогое,
00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:11,383 И мы раньше ни разу не пробовали с пенисами, никаких гарантий, что получится нет...
00:04:11,424 --> 00:04:14,109 Я готов отдать все деньги, что у меня есть, лишь бы попытаться...
00:04:14,113 --> 00:04:17,322 Пожалуйста... Я мужчина, запертый в женском теле.
00:04:17,539 --> 00:04:18,904 Мне нужен пенис!
00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:19,790 Ладно...
00:04:20,098 --> 00:04:22,036 Хорошо, посмотрим, что мы сможем сделать.
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:27,086 Эрик, мы вызвали тебя что бы, похвалить тебя за то, как ты справился с ролью учителя.
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:31,126 Эй! Не надо хаять меня! Это вина учеников, что они такие тупые!
00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:34,339 "Хвалить", значит, выражать благодарность за хорошую работу Эрик, понятненько.
00:04:34,366 --> 00:04:39,953 После того как ты подготовил класс к тесту, твои одноклассники набрали наивысшие балы, за все время тестирований!
00:04:40,068 --> 00:04:42,530 Что бы ты там не сделал, это реально им помогло.
00:04:42,593 --> 00:04:43,743 А, ну да, спасибо.
00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:48,346 Я считаю что, кнут и пряник, для моих студентов, наилучший путь к знаниям.
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:52,155 Эти джентльмены из окружного школьного совета Денвера, хотят кое о чем тебя попросить.
00:04:52,496 --> 00:04:56,561 Молодой человек, весть о вашем успехе, повергла весь наш учительский коллектив в раздумья,
00:04:56,661 --> 00:05:00,127 Мы бы хотели, что бы вы испробовали Ваш метод, на одном из наших интернациональных классов.
00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:03,097 Эти подростки, они просто не слушают никаких взрослых учителей,
00:05:03,174 --> 00:05:05,652 А так как вы, столь хорошо справились со своим классом...
00:05:05,741 --> 00:05:07,496 Вы не хотели бы попробовать?..
00:05:07,565 --> 00:05:11,252 Это звучит как шанс, серьезно повлиять на учеников которым это необходимо больше всех...
00:05:11,283 --> 00:05:12,879 Сколько вы мне заплатите?
00:05:15,026 --> 00:05:16,093 Три сотни баксов!
00:05:16,218 --> 00:05:17,645 Слышали, что я сказал, пацаны?
00:05:17,894 --> 00:05:21,320 Мои шикарные учительские способности, принесут мне, три сотни баксов!
00:05:21,331 --> 00:05:22,833 Ты НЕ шикарный учитель.
00:05:23,041 --> 00:05:25,950 Огада, весь класс набрал высший балл на тесте.
00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:30,413 Единственная причина, почему мы набрали высший балл, это потому что взяли ответы на тест со стола Гаррисона! И ты это знаешь!
00:05:30,476 --> 00:05:33,884 Даа, но чья идея была взять ответы со стола Гаррисона?
00:05:33,940 --> 00:05:34,891 Кенни!
00:05:35,196 --> 00:05:36,381 Ага, это была моя идея.
00:05:36,471 --> 00:05:37,124 А, ну да.
00:05:37,185 --> 00:05:41,565 Ну и ладно, я буду учить, этих непривилегированных цветных студентов, и реально изменю их жизнь.
00:05:41,624 --> 00:05:44,026 Ты хоть представляешь, что те пацаны сделают с тобой?
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,724 Маленький белый карлик рассказывает им как жить...
00:05:46,773 --> 00:05:51,863 Тебя там, блять, убьют.
00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:55,174 Возможно, он прав...
00:05:55,248 --> 00:05:57,322 Нужно позаботиться о внешнем виде...
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,032 Ученики, тихо!
00:06:25,104 --> 00:06:27,111 Уймитесь, пожалуйста!
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,177 Можно минутку вашего внимания?
00:06:31,436 --> 00:06:35,727 Я предоставлю тебе свое внимание...всю ночь напролет, миссис Миллер.
00:06:36,815 --> 00:06:39,968 Ты довыделываешься Родригес! А теперь слушаем!
00:06:40,029 --> 00:06:44,894 Денверский школьный совет прислал специально приглашенного учителя.
00:06:46,392 --> 00:06:49,700 Это возможно ваша последняя возможность окончить среднюю школу.
00:06:49,934 --> 00:06:51,472 Я хочу что бы вы поприветствовали,
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,992 Эрика Кардменеза.
00:06:56,778 --> 00:06:57,752 Здравствуйте ученики.
00:06:58,006 --> 00:06:59,782 Я Эрик Кардменез.
00:07:00,189 --> 00:07:01,610 Ваш новый учитель.
00:07:04,272 --> 00:07:05,681 Это что за твою мать?
00:07:05,765 --> 00:07:06,833 Я здесь,
00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:09,742 Что бы научить вас, интегральным исчеслением.
00:07:12,868 --> 00:07:16,144 Я думаю, вы будете очень довольны результатами, мисс Гарисон.
00:07:16,181 --> 00:07:17,594 Мистер Гаррисон!
00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:19,205 Простите, Мистер Гаррисон.
00:07:19,531 --> 00:07:23,898 Ваша ДНК, была пересажена, и отлично вживлена мыши.
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,030 И так...
00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:27,828 Вот ваш пенис.
00:07:29,802 --> 00:07:31,893 Мой пенис выглядит великолепно!
00:07:31,971 --> 00:07:34,037 Да, это фантастический пенис.
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,296 Примите мои поздравления.
00:07:35,379 --> 00:07:37,278 Как долго до того как он будет готов?
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:40,720 В общем, формирование еще не закончено, но совсем немного.
00:07:40,782 --> 00:07:42,884 Дайтека, я посмотрю, правильно ли он ложиться в руку...
00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:44,782 НЕТ! Не открывайте!..
00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:45,628 О, Нет!
00:07:48,475 --> 00:07:50,723 Не дайте ей выбраться из лаборатории!
00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:54,029 Пенис мой!!!
00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:59,470 Стой пенис! Вернись сюда!
00:08:00,744 --> 00:08:02,801 Хорошо, все берите листочки,
00:08:02,886 --> 00:08:05,356 И передайте амигосу за вами.
00:08:05,438 --> 00:08:07,562 Э мужик, ты че ваще делаешь?
00:08:07,639 --> 00:08:08,537 Ахааа?..
00:08:08,684 --> 00:08:11,940 Мистер Кардменз здесь, для того, что бы вы все точно попали в колледж.
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,533 Попали в колледж?! Мужик, мы не попадем ни в какой колледж!
00:08:14,631 --> 00:08:15,855 Пошел ты нахуй!
00:08:19,743 --> 00:08:22,619 Как мне достучаться до этих детей?!
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:26,726 Причина, по которой вы думаете, что не попадете в колледж,
00:08:26,831 --> 00:08:30,432 Это потому что вам не объясняли, как нужно правильно жульничать...
00:08:30,531 --> 00:08:32,494 Как вы думаете, почему белые всегда пробиваются наверх?
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:37,982 Потому что мы жульничаем всег.., всмысле, потому что они жульничают всё время.
00:08:39,115 --> 00:08:41,391 Это Билл Биличек.
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,111 Тренер Ньюингленд Пэтриотс.
00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:45,461 Он выиграл 3 «Суперкубка». Как?
00:08:45,466 --> 00:08:47,312 Он жульничал.
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:49,146 Его даже поймали за жульничество.
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,518 И всем было пофиг.
00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:53,384 Бил Биличек доказал Америке, что жульничать это нормально.
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:56,230 Пока ты жульничаешь - ты продвигаешься к вершине...
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,193 Эй, я не хочу, что бы меня называли жуликом.
00:08:58,565 --> 00:08:59,356 Нет, нет!
00:08:59,460 --> 00:09:02,066 Если ты мошенничал и попался, тогда ты - жулик.
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:05,719 Если ты мошенничал и НЕ попался, ты шариишь.
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:09,511 Всё это херота! Я не собираюсь тратить свое время на то что бы учиться жульничать!
00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:14,420 Вперед. Дверь там. Покапока. Звони. Будем скучать.
00:09:16,564 --> 00:09:20,060 Как же мне достучаться до этих детей?..
00:09:23,465 --> 00:09:24,538 Мальчики!!!
00:09:24,756 --> 00:09:28,512 Мальчики! Вы не видели мой пенис?!
00:09:29,221 --> 00:09:30,067 Чего?..
00:09:30,135 --> 00:09:31,576 Мой пенис пропал!
00:09:31,711 --> 00:09:35,617 Если вы его увидите, попробуйте поймать его с помощью сыра!
00:09:36,973 --> 00:09:40,674 Ай, это рвет мне мозг...
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,490 Ты в хорошей форме друг мой.
00:09:52,814 --> 00:09:54,885 Эй, я свалил из вашего класса, учитель.
00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:57,739 Слышь, я не хочу базарить с тобой на тему жульничества.
00:09:57,915 --> 00:10:00,143 А кто хочет базарить в такой прекрасный день?
00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:01,734 Как на счет сыграть разок?
00:10:01,843 --> 00:10:03,510 Эй Пейтано,
00:10:03,921 --> 00:10:05,378 Можешь последить за счетом для нас?
00:10:05,446 --> 00:10:06,898 Да не вопрос мистер К...
00:10:07,886 --> 00:10:10,054 Акей, ты в защите амиго.
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,406 Ооо, Один к нулю, амиго!
00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:21,118 Ты жульничал!
00:10:21,184 --> 00:10:24,212 Какой счет друг? Хорош, давай, твоя очередь.
00:10:30,876 --> 00:10:32,677 2-0 амиго.
00:10:32,822 --> 00:10:35,211 Иди ты нахуй блядь, так нельзя!
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,988 Смотри на счет, амиго...
00:10:38,259 --> 00:10:43,911 Несмотря на то, сколько раз ты скажешь, что я жульничал, табло скажет 2-0.
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:48,304 Я в курсе че ты пытаешься сказать, но я все равно не согласен с этим.
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:50,901 2-0, друг!
00:10:50,995 --> 00:10:52,764 Два нооль!..
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,972 Как мне достучаться до этих ребят?!.
00:11:03,107 --> 00:11:04,537 Что это?..
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,867 Стивен! Стивен, иди быстрее!
00:11:17,045 --> 00:11:17,999 Что такое, дорогая?
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,226 Пенис носится по нашей кухне!
00:11:20,326 --> 00:11:21,747 Пенис?
00:11:21,809 --> 00:11:23,805 Да! Он только что пробежал по полу!
00:11:24,008 --> 00:11:26,053 О, дорогая, успокойся.
00:11:26,092 --> 00:11:29,507 Сам себя успокой! Я не хочу, что бы этот пенис бегал по моему дому!
00:11:29,597 --> 00:11:33,160 Женщины, всегда боятся пенисов...
00:11:36,714 --> 00:11:37,883 Вон! Вон, ты видел?!
00:11:37,939 --> 00:11:40,064 Ооо, это всего лишь маленький пенис, дорогая.
00:11:40,168 --> 00:11:43,180 Ну и что, у него возможно всевозможные заболевания!
00:11:44,428 --> 00:11:46,612 Эй, погодите, мне кажется это пенис учителя.
00:11:46,696 --> 00:11:47,888 Пенис твоего учителя?..
00:11:47,993 --> 00:11:49,359 Да, это должно быть он!
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:50,486 Баттерс...
00:11:50,537 --> 00:11:53,983 Откуда ТЫ знаешь, как выглядит пенис учителя?..
00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,889 Сегодня мы обсудим, один из фундаментальных способов жульничества.
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,538 Заблаговременная подготовка.
00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:03,864 Когда Билл Биличек жульничал ради Пэтриотов, что же он делал?
00:12:03,938 --> 00:12:06,898 Он снимал на видео защиту противоположной команды.
00:12:06,918 --> 00:12:09,166 Думайте о защите, как о вашем тесте.
00:12:09,347 --> 00:12:13,158 Когда вам предстоит сдавать тест, вы должны также, снять защиту на видео.
00:12:13,313 --> 00:12:16,424 Узнайте, что будет в тесте, до того, как вам его дадут.
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:19,518 И таким способом вы сможете...
00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:21,736 Я подумал что...
00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:24,565 Что возможно я могу попробовать жульничать...
00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:26,134 Присаживайся амиго.
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,820 Хорошо, что ты вернулся...
00:12:28,532 --> 00:12:31,966 Хорошо. И так, когда Билл Биличек был пойман со своей камерой,
00:12:32,122 --> 00:12:35,888 Он не стал паниковать, он просто сказал то, что говорят все нормальные белые жулики, когда их ловят,
00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:38,576 «Я ошибся в интерпретации правил.»
00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:40,880 Это то что вы также должны говорить, если вас поймают,
00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:42,828 Я ошибся в интерпретации правил.
00:12:42,907 --> 00:12:43,485 Все вместе.
00:12:43,607 --> 00:12:45,496 Я ошибся в интерпретации правил.
00:12:45,592 --> 00:12:46,347 Хорошо, еще раз.
00:12:46,413 --> 00:12:48,390 Я ошибся в интерпретации правил.
00:12:48,495 --> 00:12:48,969 Еще раз!
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,154 Я ошибся в интерпретации правил!
00:12:51,253 --> 00:12:52,614 Теперь вы говорите как белые люди!
00:12:52,691 --> 00:12:55,123 Я ошибся в интерпретации правил!!!
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:59,703 В каком, черт подери, смысле, вы говорите, что просто выгнали мой пенис на улицу?!
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,130 Почему вы не позвонили мне?!
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:04,992 Послушайте, Гаррисон, моя жена не хотела, что бы пенис был в доме, мне пришлось его выкинуть.
00:13:05,012 --> 00:13:06,839 Ну а теперь, где я его должен искать?!
00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:09,015 Он может быть где угодно!
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,557 Срань господня!
00:13:15,156 --> 00:13:16,904 Кэррол, спускайся оттуда.
00:13:16,982 --> 00:13:20,531 Неет! Разве ты не видел этот пенис, только что?!
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:25,092 Я уверен, что этот пенис, сам, больше, боится тебя, чем ты его.
00:13:25,099 --> 00:13:26,489 Вы видели пенис?!
00:13:29,404 --> 00:13:32,043 Аааа!!! Он такой большой и отвратительный!!! ФУуууУ!!!
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:39,277 Вернись сюда пенис!
00:13:41,592 --> 00:13:43,538 Вот ты где! Попался!!!
00:13:46,696 --> 00:13:49,343 Эй... ты не мой пенис...
00:13:52,484 --> 00:13:54,735 Вот он! Стоять!
00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:58,881 Ответ на 27-ой вопрос 5.
00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:02,048 Ответ на 27-ой вопрос 5.
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,892 Ответ на 28-ой 14.
00:14:05,022 --> 00:14:07,981 Ответ на 28-ой 14.
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,546 А блин в чем смысл?!
00:14:09,644 --> 00:14:12,440 А че ваще смысл а?!
00:14:14,924 --> 00:14:20,801 Короче, просмотрите страницу спорта, где говорится, что жульничество с командой Пэтриот, не такое уж и большое дело. Я скоро вернусь.
00:14:22,123 --> 00:14:23,939 Мелитта! Меллита подожди!
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,459 Ты не можешь сейчас уйти!
00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:27,994 Ну же, что с тобой случилось?
00:14:28,087 --> 00:14:30,143 В этом всем нет смысла.
00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,423 Я не пойду в колледж.
00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:35,173 Я беременна, ясно?!
00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:39,240 Я только узнала... И Эдворд не собирается помогать растить его.
00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:43,218 Как мне достучаться до этих детей?..
00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:45,777 Ну ладно, давай сделаем тебе аборт.
00:14:45,823 --> 00:14:49,680 Нет, я католичка! Я считаю, что аборт это неправильно!
00:14:49,737 --> 00:14:51,163 Аборт это НЕ неправильно!
00:14:51,174 --> 00:14:53,441 Чему я вас всех учу?!
00:14:53,877 --> 00:14:55,585 Тому, что жульничать это хорошо?..
00:14:55,654 --> 00:14:56,352 Да!
00:14:56,576 --> 00:14:58,811 И аборт это наивысшая форма жульничества!
00:14:58,816 --> 00:15:00,504 Ты обманываешь саму природу!
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:03,703 Почему белые богатые девочки, многого добиваются?
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:06,091 Потому что делают аборты, пока молодые!
00:15:06,261 --> 00:15:07,344 Они беременеют,
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:10,265 Но все равно хотят пойти в колледж, и, ну и хрен с ним, просто жульничают...
00:15:10,339 --> 00:15:13,580 Они жульничают с этим маленьким живым существом в их животиках, что бы иметь шанс в жизни...
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,193 Ну не знаю мистер К...
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,934 Мексиканцам говорят – не надо жульничать,
00:15:18,107 --> 00:15:21,000 «Не жульничай, ты беременна, расти ребенка!»,
00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:27,214 Поэтому тебе придется растить ребенка, пока белые девочки идут в колледж, и возможно будут делать еще больше абортов!
00:15:27,231 --> 00:15:29,648 Это самый сложный период в жизни...
00:15:29,932 --> 00:15:33,713 Когда мы должны жульничать изо всех сил!..
00:15:36,119 --> 00:15:38,847 И последний раз вы видели ваш пенис, позавчера?
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,153 Так точно...
00:15:40,174 --> 00:15:41,973 Усы длинные или короткие?
00:15:42,017 --> 00:15:44,285 Короткие. И маленькие пушистые ушки.
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:46,154 Пушистые ушки, ога.
00:15:46,243 --> 00:15:47,286 Нарисовал Митч?
00:15:47,365 --> 00:15:48,268 Думаю да, сэр.
00:15:48,383 --> 00:15:51,000 Похоже?
00:15:53,597 --> 00:15:55,550 Нет, нет, не так!
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,205 Это просто глупо...
00:15:57,377 --> 00:16:00,622 Сэр, похоже, придется отправить подразделение в итальянский ресторан на кетне.
00:16:00,762 --> 00:16:01,630 Что там?
00:16:01,686 --> 00:16:05,015 Только что звонили, кажется, к ним ворвался пенис, и пытается съесть их сыр.
00:16:05,087 --> 00:16:06,206 Ну же, вперед!
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:16,606 Что случилось?!
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,081 Пенис!!!
00:16:18,615 --> 00:16:19,929 Пенис?! Где?!
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,063 Вот он!!!
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,217 Где он?!
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,546 Смотрите, там!
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:32,574 Бегом!
00:16:33,863 --> 00:16:37,330 Что пенис делает на моей кухне?!
00:16:37,404 --> 00:16:40,582 Эй! Даже не пытайся убить мой пенис!
00:16:41,952 --> 00:16:43,913 Дерьмо, нужно зайти с другой стороны!
00:16:55,157 --> 00:16:59,842 <i>Кто-тооо, гдее-тоо...</i>
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:03,355 <i>Влюблен в меня сегодня ночью</i>
00:17:03,871 --> 00:17:10,216 <i>Смотрит на туже луну и также волшебно поет</i>
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,858 <i>Кто-то, где-то...</i>
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:18,018 <i>Чувствует мое отчаяние чувствует твое отчаяние...</i>
00:17:18,251 --> 00:17:20,759 <i>И та же луна заставляет их задуматься...</i>
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:21,953 Вот он!!!
00:17:28,171 --> 00:17:28,824 Нет! Неет!!!
00:17:29,046 --> 00:17:30,022 Нееет!!!
00:17:30,578 --> 00:17:31,532 Нет!..
00:17:32,299 --> 00:17:34,110 Теперь шансов нет...
00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:36,056 Нет! Мы сможем его найти!..
00:17:36,095 --> 00:17:39,338 Прости Гаррисон, но твой пенис пропал...
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,656 Боюсь, мы больше ничего не можем сделать.
00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:43,832 Тебе придется смериться быть женщиной.
00:17:44,384 --> 00:17:45,432 Очень страшной.
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,329 Пошли мужики.
00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:53,237 Ученики, я хочу поздравить вас, с вашими невероятными оценками за тест.
00:17:53,332 --> 00:17:56,347 Школьный совет очень впечатлен вашими успехами.
00:17:56,414 --> 00:18:00,767 И они собираются отправить вас на единый гос. экзамен,
00:18:00,851 --> 00:18:03,215 За счет колледжа!
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:08,159 Этот тест будет проходить в частном, неизвестном месте, и под максимальным контролем,
00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:12,044 Что бы абсолютно исключить любой вид списывания.
00:18:12,687 --> 00:18:13,568 Э чего?..
00:18:13,653 --> 00:18:17,591 Тест будет завтра, заставьте нас, гордится собой.
00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:21,268 Наблюдать за нами в неизвестном месте?..
00:18:21,302 --> 00:18:23,516 Теперь они узнают, что все это время мы жульничали.
00:18:23,631 --> 00:18:28,091 Я так и знал мужик! Ты заставил нас поверить в твой метод, а теперь всё или ничего!
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:31,224 Это не всё или ничего,.. если хорошо подготовиться можно списывать прямо перед ними!
00:18:31,224 --> 00:18:33,818 Заткни хлеборезку, ты всех нас нереально апустил!
00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:37,664 КАК МНЕ ДОСТУЧАТЬСЯ ДО ЭТИХ ДЕТЕЙ?!?!
00:18:39,987 --> 00:18:41,992 Как раз перед последним «Суперкубком»...
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,845 Бил Билличек собрал свою команду и сказал.
00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:46,868 Давайте выиграем эту игру по-настоящему...
00:18:46,874 --> 00:18:48,201 Хотя бы один раз!..
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,986 Не будем жульничать...
00:18:49,989 --> 00:18:51,349 Знаете, что случилось?..
00:18:51,415 --> 00:18:53,613 Они проиграли.
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:56,880 Даже если вы чувствуете, что все взгляды устремлены на вас,
00:18:56,931 --> 00:18:59,730 Вы не должны прекращать жульничать.
00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:02,571 Иначе вы проиграете самую серьезную игру в вашей жизни...
00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:06,508 Да, давайте же! Мы можем справится, народ!
00:19:06,723 --> 00:19:08,428 Вы настоящие приспособленцы.
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,703 Завтра, вы докажите это.
00:19:09,963 --> 00:19:14,252 Мы начнем с прошлой темы, как сделать шпоры на этикетках ваших бутылок.
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,226 Ты сам во всем виноват, Гаррисон.
00:19:24,098 --> 00:19:30,560 Поверил в дурацкий генетический эксперимент, теперь все деньги пропали вместе с пенисом.
00:19:36,118 --> 00:19:37,158 Что за?..
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:42,955 Чт?..
00:19:43,038 --> 00:19:45,074 Это мой пенис...
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,857 Мой пенис вернулся.
00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:50,500 Но почему?..
00:19:55,289 --> 00:19:56,577 Видимо это правда...
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,640 Что все говорят,
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,107 Если любишь свой пенис,
00:20:01,163 --> 00:20:03,196 Отпусти его...
00:20:05,466 --> 00:20:12,917 Единый Гос. Экзамен, признается как один из самых сложных, и тщательно контролируемых тестов, в нашей стране.
00:20:12,928 --> 00:20:17,606 24 наших студента, прошли тест. И все 24 набрали,
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:20,351 100%!
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,105 А, можно, мы кое-что скажем?
00:20:24,253 --> 00:20:25,080 Конечно!
00:20:25,263 --> 00:20:30,045 Мы хотим посвятить эту награду, человеку, который научил нас методу белых людей!
00:20:30,154 --> 00:20:32,359 Мистер Кардманаз!
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:48,743 Я достучался до этих ребят!
00:20:49,489 --> 00:20:55,228 Ученики и учителя, пожалуйста, положите ваши руки одну на другую, и помогите мне поприветствовать возращение...
00:20:55,409 --> 00:20:59,673 Мистера Гаррисона!
00:21:03,338 --> 00:21:04,759 Спасибо всем!!!
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,404 Как хорошо вернутся назад!
00:21:06,668 --> 00:21:08,274 Я теперь снова мужчина.
00:21:08,442 --> 00:21:11,440 Спасибо одному моему новому, особенному, другу.
00:21:13,491 --> 00:21:14,664 Но знаете что...
00:21:14,742 --> 00:21:18,124 Я осознал, что все это время, на самом деле, я был чуваком.
00:21:18,279 --> 00:21:21,309 Потому что ключевая разница между мужчиной и женщиной,
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,993 Это то, что женщины, могут иметь детей.
00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:28,247 Если ты не можешь иметь детей, значит ты - мужчина.
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:32,466 Ээ, погодите секунду, у моей жены клеточный рак.
00:21:32,555 --> 00:21:35,283 Поэтому она не может иметь детей.
00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:40,434 Ну так пройди тест на СПИД, Томсон, потому что твоя жена - мужик, пидар.
00:21:41,598 --> 00:21:44,587 Да!!! Я вернулся!!!

00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,642 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,911 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,412 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:15,081 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,415 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,417 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:19,952 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,687 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,822 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,057 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:28,327 ♪ ( mumbling ) ♪
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:29,562 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,664 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪♪
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,935 ( school bell ringing )
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:41,373 It's like my whole life has just been one big screw up, you know ?
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:44,577 I admit it, I was-- I was sexually lost, I--
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:47,213 and then I see this person on Oprah.
00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,013 She's a woman,
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,815 but then she got a sex change and became a man,
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,951 but then she got pregnant and is having a baby
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,453 which means she's still a woman all along.
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,089 That means I'm really still a man !
00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:00,159 I still feel like a man !
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:01,927 Are we gonna get tested on this ?
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:06,532 This sex change was a big mistake. Okay ?
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,534 I was on a lot of pain killers at the time,
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,936 and I thought it was what I wanted.
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,571 Dude, you wanna do some math problems ?
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,074 And then I go to the doctor, right,
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,243 and I say, "doctor, I wanna go back to being a man."
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,545 And he says, "Well, there's been too much damage.
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,313 "You can't go back.
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,616 Where are you gonna find a penis ?"
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,118 What do you mean, "Where am I gonna find a penis ?"
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,786 I'm a man !
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,156 I deserve a God damned penis !
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,124 Agh !
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,526 Ugh !
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,262 ( Principal Victoria ) Mr. Garr-- Mr. Garrison ?!
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:39,832 Could we speak with you, please ?
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,268 What do you want ? I'm trying to teach.
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,270 Uh, we think it's best you not teach
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:47,039 until you get your personal life in order, m'kay ?
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:49,508 Oh, it's so easy for you, Mackey.
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,410 You have a penis !
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:54,346 Okay, students, uh, obviously we've
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,682 had a little emergency with your teacher,
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:58,317 so while we deal with this,
00:01:58,351 --> 00:01:59,919 we need one of you to lead the class
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,987 and review for tomorrow's quiz.
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,756 Oh, me, me, me !
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,657 Me, me, me !
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,025 Me, right here, right here, right here !
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,228 Uh, who else would like to be teacher for the day ?
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:10,563 Anybody else ?
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,766 Ugh, hughghghh ! Principal Victoria, over here !
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,833 Ungh !
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:18,304 Any other volunteers perhaps ?
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,507 Hughghghh ! Principal Victoria, Principal...
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:24,143 All right, all right, fine. Eric, you lead the class.
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,177 Yes !
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,312 Now just lead a review over
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,880 whatever Mr. Garrison's been teaching you
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:30,149 and I'll be back to check on your shortly.
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:38,958 Well, well, well... who's teacher now ?
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,293 Yeah, who's teacher ?
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,495 You're not the teacher, fat ass.
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,197 That's Mr. Cartman now, Kyle !
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:47,266 And you will be wise not to interrupt my class
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,668 unless you want to be suspended !
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,804 Yeah.
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,307 Mmm, yeah, you like that ?
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,875 All right, Clyde, you're first.
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,544 Get up here.
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,313 Yeah, you're gonna take it, Clyde.
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,951 ( sobbing )
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,353 ( reporter ) And so it appears
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:12,091 that the local farmers' market could be soon facing complete closure.
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,325 In other news tonight,
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,629 a South Park bio company is coming under fire
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:17,563 for genetically engineering
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,566 body parts onto laboratory mice.
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,770 This picture of a mouse genetically altered to grow a human ear
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:27,873 has already sparked waves of protest.
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:28,941 What ?
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,944 But the scientists say the process could help thousands of people
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:36,248 who have become disfigured and need ears or noses.
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:38,150 Holy freakin' Jesus.
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,656 Using common genetics and cartilage scaffolding,
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,158 we can graft almost any body part onto a mouse
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:47,259 and allow it to develop.
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:49,495 Here's the mouse you saw on television.
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:53,299 Once the ear fully forms, it can be transplanted onto a person.
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,734 Doctor, what about a penis ?
00:03:55,769 --> 00:04:00,372 Well, a penis is something a man puts into a woman's vagina.
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,975 No, no, if I gave you some of my DNA,
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,743 could you grow a penis on a mouse for me ?
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:05,911 You don't understand,
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:08,013 doing this stuff is very expensive,
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,682 and we've never tried a penis before--
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,216 there's no guarantee it would work.
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,086 I will give you all the money I have to just try.
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:14,920 Please !
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:17,556 Doctor, I'm a man trapped in a woman's body.
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:18,857 I need a penis.
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:21,126 All right, all right, let's see what we can do.
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,763 Eric, we've called you in to commend you
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,166 for your role as student teacher.
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,600 Hey, don't commend me !
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,569 It's the students fault for being so stupid !
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:34,139 "Commend" means you've done a great job, Eric, m'kay ?
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,008 After leading your class through review,
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:39,411 your schoolmates scored higher than they ever have on their tests.
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,414 Whatever you did really worked on them.
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,248 Oh, well, thank you.
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,851 I believe strict discipline along with compassion
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,753 for my students is catamite to their learning.
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,788 These gentlemen from the Denver County school board
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,057 have something they want to ask you.
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,326 Young man, word of your success as a student teacher
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,295 has started the whole board thinking.
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,698 We would like you to try your methods on one of our inner-city school classes.
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,468 These kids just won't listen to any adult teachers,
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,371 and since you handled your class so well...
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,972 How'd you like to give it a shot ?
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:09,208 That sounds like a chance to really make an impact
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,676 on some students who need it most.
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,378 How much will you pay me ?
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,914 300 bucks !
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,516 Did you hear what I said, you guys ?
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,786 My awesome teaching skills is gonna earn me 300 bucks !
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,721 You're not an awesome teacher.
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,924 Whatever, the whole class scored super high on the tests.
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,893 The only reason we scored high was because we took the answers
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,795 out of Garrison's desk, and you know it !
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,163 Yes, but whose idea was it
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,532 to take the answers out of Garrison's desk ?
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:34,299 Kenny's !
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,869 - Yeah, that was my idea. - Oh, yeah.
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,538 But whatever, I'm gonna go teach those underprivileged inner-city students
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:41,774 and really turn their lives around.
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,809 Do you know what those kids are going to do to you ?
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,645 A little middle-class white boy telling them what to do ?
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,681 They are going to fucking murder you.
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,020 Maybe he's right.
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,489 I better be careful how I look.
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,561 ( razor buzzing )
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,265 ( school bell ringing )
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,638 ( metal detector beeping )
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:23,215 ( all talking )
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,950 Students, quiet !
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,386 Quiet please !
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,356 Give me your attention !
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,624 I'll give you my attention...
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:35,127 All night long, Mrs. Miller.
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,664 You're on thin ice, Rodriguez !
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:39,765 Now listen up.
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:44,369 The Denver County school board has sent over a special guest teacher.
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,138 [all]: Ooooohhhhh !
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:49,641 This may be your last shot at graduating from high school at all !
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:53,712 I want you to welcome... Eric Cartmanez.
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,050 ( speaking with Spanish accent ) Hello, students.
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,787 I am Eric Cartmanez, your new teacher.
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,557 What the hell is this ?
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:09,161 I am here... To teach you calculus.
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,901 I think you're going to be very pleased with the progress, Ms. Garrison.
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,269 Mr. Garrison !
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,271 Sorry, Mr. Garrison.
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:23,509 Your DNA has replicated and grafted very successfully with the mouse.
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:28,247 And so... here's your penis.
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,650 Wow, my penis looks great !
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,685 Yes, it's a fantastic penis.
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,287 Congratulations.
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:36,855 How long before it's ready ?
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:40,459 Well, it still has some forming to do, but fairly soon.
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,494 Let me see if it feels right in my hand.
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,829 No, don't open the--
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,297 - (mouse squeaking) - Oh, no !
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:48,100 ( mouse squeaking )
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,868 Don't let it get out of the lab !
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,605 My penis !
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,544 Stop, penis ! Come back here !
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,581 Okay, everyone take a silly bus
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,150 and pass it to the amigo behind you.
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,352 Hey, man, what the hell do you think you're doing ?
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,654 Yeah !
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,723 Mr. Cartmanez is here to make sure you all get into college.
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:12,791 Getting into college ?!
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,894 Man, we ain't getting into no college ! Fuck you !
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,463 [all jabbering]
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:24,036 (sighs) How do I reeech these keeeds?
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,038 The reason that you think you can't get into college,
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,906 is because you haven't been taught
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,108 how to cheat properly.
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,844 How do you think white people always get ahead ?
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,446 Because we cheat all the time--
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,249 I mean because they cheat all the time.
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,186 This is Bill Beeelichick,
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,921 coach of the New England Patriots.
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,523 He's won three Super Bowls.
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,125 How ? He cheated.
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,195 He even got caught cheating and nobody cared.
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:53,231 Bill Beeelichick proved that in America it's okay to cheat,
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,101 as long as you cheat your way to the top.
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,270 Hey, I don't wanna be called a cheater.
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:01,807 No, no, if you cheat and fail, you're a cheater.
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:05,577 If you cheat and succeed, you're savvyyyy.
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:06,945 This is bullshit !
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,615 I don't want to waste my time learning to cheat !
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:10,916 Go ahead, the door's right there.
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,785 Bye, bye, have fun, we will miss you.
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:20,058 ( sighing ) How do I reeech these keeeds?
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,129 Boys !
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:28,867 Boys, have you seen my penis ?
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:29,801 What ?
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,169 My penis is on the loose !
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:35,107 If you see it, just try to catch it with some cheese !
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,911 Ow, that hurt my brains.
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,113 Owwwww.
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,724 Nice form, compadre.
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,494 Hey, I walked out of your class, teacher.
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:56,595 Look, I don't wanna argue with you
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,363 about the merits of cheating.
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,432 Who wants to argue on a nice day like theeees ?
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:01,967 How about a little pick-up game ?
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,769 ( whistling ) Hey, petano !
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,604 Can you keep score for us ?
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,140 Sure thing, Mr. C.
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,709 Okay, you start on defense, amigo.
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,380 Aghg !
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,818 Oh, that's one to nothing, amigo.
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,219 You cheated !
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,788 What's the score, effe ?
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,723 Okay, let's go, your turn.
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,727 Aahghg !
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,998 That's two to noteeeng, amigo.
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,400 Fuck you, man ! You can't do that !
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,470 Look at the scoreboard, amigo.
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,338 No matter how many times you say I cheated,
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,975 the scoreboard says two-nothing.
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,510 I know what you're trying to say,
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:48,113 but I still don't agree with it.
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,283 Two to nothing, essa.
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,018 Two to nothing.
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,822 ( sighing ) How do I reech these keeeds ?
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,927 ( humming )
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:03,195 ( mouse squeaking )
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,430 What is that ?
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,933 ( mouse squeaking )
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,234 Eeeeeeek !
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:10,902 Eeeeek !
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:14,873 Eeeeeeeeeek ! Eeeeeeeekk !
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,942 Stephen, Stephen, come quick !
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:18,376 What is it, dear ?
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,545 A penis is loose in our kitchen !
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,913 A penis ?
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,382 Yes, it just ran across the floor !
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,984 Now, darling, calm down.
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,352 Calm down nothing !
00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:30,021 I don't want that penis running through my house !
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,191 Oh, women-- always afraid of penises.
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,396 There, there you see it ?
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,365 Oh, it's just a little penis, darling.
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:43,535 I don't care, it's probably got all kinds of diseases.
00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:44,736 ( mouse squeaking )
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,772 Hey, wait, I think that's teacher's penis !
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,441 - Your teacher's penis ? - Yeah, that must be his.
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:50,809 Butters,
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:53,378 how do you know what your teacher's penis looks like ?
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,513 Huh ?
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,981 ( school bell ringing )
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:58,950 Today we will discuss one of the fundamental ways to cheat:
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,153 getting material ahead of time.
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,021 When Bill Beeelichick cheated for the Patriots,
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,222 what did he do ?
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,225 He videotaped the opposing team's defense.
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,561 Think of the defense as your test.
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:13,565 When taking a test, you must also "videotape the defense."
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:16,668 Learn what's on the test before they give it to you,
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,737 and that way you can...
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,207 I thought that...
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,043 Well, maybe I could give cheating a try.
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,511 Have a seat, amigo.
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,147 Good to have you back.
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,651 All right, now, when Bill Beeelichick got caught with his camera,
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:33,485 he did not panic.
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:36,121 He simply said what every good white cheater says when caught:
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:39,157 "I misinterpreted the rules."
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,092 It's what you must also say when caught cheating.
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,994 "I misinterpreted the rules."
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:43,862 Say it with me.
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,597 ( all ) "I misinterpreted the rules."
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:46,531 Good, again !
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,433 ( all ) "I misinterpreted the rules."
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,301 Again !
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,536 ( all ) "I misinterpreted the rules."
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,971 Now you sound like white people !
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:55,874 ( all ) I misinterpreted the rules !
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:59,878 What the hell do you mean you just put my penis outside ?
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,413 Why didn't you call me ?
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,982 Look, Garrison, my wife didn't want a penis in the house.
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,283 I had to get it out.
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,085 Well, now how am I supposed to find it ?!
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,553 It could be anywhere !
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,423 ( woman ) Eeeeeeeeeeeek !
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,991 Holy crap !
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:15,560 Eeekkk ! Eeeekk !
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,362 Carol, get down from there.
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:20,165 No, didn't you see that penis just now ?
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,032 Eeeek !
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:25,270 I'm sure that penis is way more scared of you than you are of it.
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,204 You saw a penis ?
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:29,608 ( woman ) Eeeeeeeeeeeeekk !
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,409 Oh, it's so big and disgusting !
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,811 Eeeek !
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,679 ( mouse squeaking )
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,018 Come back here, penis !
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,755 There you are ! Got you !
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,428 Hey, you're not my penis !
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:51,396 Ugh !
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:52,664 ( mouse squeaking )
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:53,632 There it goes !
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,400 Stop, you !
00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:59,371 The answer to number 27 is five.
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,340 ( all ) The answer to number 27 is five.
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:05,343 The answer to number 28 is 14.
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,346 ( all ) The answer to number 28 is 14.
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,148 Man, what's the point ?
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,983 What's the point of any of this ?
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,952 ( crying )
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:16,888 All right, everyone review the section
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,657 on sportscasters forgiving the Patriots for cheating
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,591 and saying it was no big deal.
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,193 I'll be right back.
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:25,530 Malita, Malita, hold on !
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:26,898 You can't quit now !
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,533 Come on, what's wrong with you ?
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,802 There isn't any point to all this.
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:33,038 I won't be going to college.
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:35,707 I'm pregnant, all right ?
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:36,875 I just found out.
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,678 And Eduardo isn't gonna help me raise it.
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,248 (sigh) How do I reech these keeeds ?
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,051 All right, let's go get you an abortion.
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,585 No, I'm Catholic.
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,921 I think abortion is wrong.
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,356 Abortion isn't wrong.
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,259 What's the one thing I've been teaching you ?!
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,660 That cheating is good.
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:56,761 Yes !
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,064 And abortion is the ultimate form of cheating.
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:02,100 You're cheating nature itself !
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:04,135 Why do rich white girls get ahead in life ?
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,037 Because they get abortions when they're young.
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,640 They get pregnant, but they still want to go to college
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:10,475 so, whatever, they just cheat.
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:14,879 They cheat that little critter in their belly right out of a chance at life.
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,548 I don't know, Mr. C.
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,316 Mexicans are told not to cheat.
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,117 "Don't cheat.
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,419 You get pregnant, you have to raise the child."
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,654 So then you have to raise the child
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,022 while the white girls get to go to college
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:27,492 and probably have a bunch more abortions.
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:30,195 It is at our most challenging times
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:33,531 that we must cheat our very hardest.
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:39,404 And the last time you saw your penis was two days ago ?
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,405 That's right.
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,207 Long whiskers or short ?
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,509 Short, and little fluffy ears.
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:46,544 Fluffy ears, okay.
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:47,712 Think you got it, Mitch ?
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:48,680 I think so, Sir.
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:53,752 Is this pretty close ?
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,854 No, no ! Not like that !
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,655 That's just silly.
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:01,026 Sir, we might wanna get a unit down to the Italian restaurant on Kentner.
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:01,693 What is it ?
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:02,894 Call just came through.
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:05,063 Seems a penis broke in and tried to eat their cheese.
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,231 Well, come on !
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,707 ( mouse squeaking ) Eeeek !
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:16,708 What's the matter ?
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,510 A penis !
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,011 A penis ? Where ?
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,513 There it is ! Eeeeeek !
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,182 [ladies shouting] Eeeek ! Eeek, a penis !
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,254 Where is it ?
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:29,988 Look there !
00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:31,623 ( mouse squeaking )
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,690 Come on !
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,895 What's-a that-a penis doing in-a my kitchen ?
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:40,331 Hey, don't you dare kill my penis !
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,933 ( mouse squeaking )
00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:44,402 Crap-- we gotta go back around !
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,870 ( mouse squeaking )
00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:57,749 ♪ Someone ♪
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,684 ♪ Somewhere ♪
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:03,755 ♪ Is loving me tonight ♪
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,825 ♪ Looking at the same moon ♪
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,361 ♪ And seeing it so bright ♪
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,363 ♪ Someone ♪
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:13,932 ♪ Somewhere ♪
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,668 ♪ Is feeling my despair ♪
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,269 ♪ Feeling your despair ♪
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:19,804 ♪ And this same moon is ♪
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,206 - ♪ Making them think of-- ♪ - ♪ Making them think of-- ♪
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,140 There it is !
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:28,146 ( mouse squeaking )
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,549 No, no !
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,252 There's not a chance now.
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,954 No, we can find it !
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:39,324 Sorry, Garrison, your penis is gone.
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,659 I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do.
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,262 You'll just have to live with being a woman.
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,497 A very ugly one.
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,699 Come on, men.
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,369 Students, I want to congratulate you
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,271 on your amazing test scores.
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:56,174 The school board is so impressed with your progress
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,376 that they are going to let you take
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,612 the standardized advanced-placement test
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,413 for college credit !
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,149 [all]: All right ! Cool, man ! Yeah !
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,117 The test is going to be heavily monitored
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:07,986 in a private room at their location
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:12,657 to assure that there can be absolutely no cheating.
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:13,558 Uh, what ?
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,993 The test will be tomorrow.
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,628 Make us proud.
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,132 Monitor us in a private room ?
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,468 Now they're gonna know we've been cheating all along.
00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:24,869 I knew it, man !
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,437 You made us believe in your way,
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,039 and now it's all for nothing.
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:29,541 It's not for nothing !
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,543 If you're good enough, you can cheat right in front of them.
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,778 Shut up, man, you royally screwed us all !
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:37,081 How do I reeeeech these keeeeeds !
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,986 Just before the last Super Bowl...
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,622 Bill Beeelichick gathered his football players and said,
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,025 "Let's win this one for real.
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,961 Just this one time... let's not cheat."
00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:51,529 You know what happened ?
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,731 They lost.
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,768 Even if you feel all eyes are upon you,
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,737 you cannot give up on cheating.
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:03,408 Or else you can lose the biggest game of your lives.
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:06,945 Yeah, come on, we can do this, guys.
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,513 You are the true dreamers.
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:10,181 Tomorrow you will prove it.
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,082 We will begin by reviewing
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:11,916 how to print out cheat sheets
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:14,419 as labels for your bottled water.
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,388 ( sobbing )
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,861 You did this to yourself, Garrison.
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,831 Get your hopes up with a stupid genetic experiment
00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:28,166 and now all your money's gone
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,635 along with your penis.
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,136 ( mouse squeaking )
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,208 What the...
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:47,018 Why... it's my penis.
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:48,853 My penis came back.
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,022 But why ?
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:52,557 ( mouse squeaking )
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:56,794 I guess it's true.
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:59,397 What's that old saying ?
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:02,900 If you love your penis, let it go.
00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,438 The standardized advanced-placement test
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,440 is considered one of the most difficult
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:12,844 and carefully monitored tests in the country.
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,079 24 of our students took the test
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:19,751 and all 24 scored 100% !
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,255 Uh, can we say something ?
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,490 Sure.
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:27,025 We would like to present this plaque
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,393 to the person who taught us
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:30,194 "the white people method."
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,397 Mr. Cartmanez.
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:41,172 ( camera clicking )
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:47,111 I reeeeched these keeeeeeeds.
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,349 Students and faculty,
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,951 please put your hands together and help me
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:57,889 in welcoming back Mr. Garrison.
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,762 Thanks, everyone.
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,698 It's great to be back.
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,466 I'm a man again...
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,169 Thanks to my very special new friend.
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,570 ( mouse squeaking )
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,807 But you know, I've learned that
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,576 I've really been a dude all along.
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,877 Because the key difference
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,212 between men and women
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:24,048 is that women can have babies.
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:28,052 If you can't have babies, then you're a man.
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:30,588 Whoa, uh, wait, hang on a second.
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,557 My wife had ovarian cancer,
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:35,360 so she can't have babies.
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,061 Well, then get an AIDS test, Thompson,
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,263 'cause your wife's a dude, faggot.
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,301 Yeah, I'm back !
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:44,769 ( mouse squeaking )

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