Внушительные буфера

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- ...сегодня. Понятненько.

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- Недавно выяснилось, что некоторые дети в школе "ловят кайф", удушая себя.

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- Некоторые называют это "удушалки"...

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- Но душить себя - плохо.

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- Понятненько?

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- Не делайте этого. Понятненько.

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- понятненько...

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- Можно поймать кайф, душа себя?

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- Школьники частенько экспериментируют с опасными методами поймать кайф.

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- Понятненько. Типа как нюхать клей,

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- Выпить целую банку "тусин+" за раз...

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- Но всё это - плохо! Понятненько.

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- Мой родственник из Флориды, рассказывал,

что дети в их школе ловят кайф через кошачьи саки.

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- Кошачьи саки?

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- Это вранье, ты же не можешь кайфануть от кошачьей мочи, правда, ведь?

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- Ну, вобщем-то, это не совсем из-за кошачьей мочи.

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- Коты - самцы, когда метят свою территорию,

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- Разбрызгивают концентрированную мочу, для защиты от посягательств других самцов и эта...

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- И от этого можно реально улететь.

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- Понятненько. Улететь, прям вот улететь-улететь.

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- Понятненько.

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- Возможно... наверное, я не должен был вам это рассказывать.

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- Понятненько.

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- Это должно быть плохо.

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- Короче, это будет фиксировать моего кота, пока он будет разбрызгивать мочу.

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- Да, бедненький котеночек, ты сейчас так расстроен.

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- Пацаны, вы зря тратите время.

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- Ага, это не сработает.

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- Хорошо, Кенни, ты готов?

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- Как Гагарин и Титов.

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- Отлично. Введите...

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- Другого кота.

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- Ух ты!

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- Чувствуешь что-нибудь?

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- Ну че, Кенни, ты вшторился?

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- Уф ты круто зацените!

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- Я вижу ты заинтересован, великолепными ахренительными супермегавозбуждающими титьками моей дочери.

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- Аще.

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- Тогда окунись с моей дочерью в Фонтане Фарнака.

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- Построенного Богами в честь мыльной пены ее сисек.

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- Акей.

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- Кенни!

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- Кенни! Проснись!

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- Очнись, Кенни! Ты как?

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- Кенни?!

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- Что случилось?!

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- Чувак, та кошка реально тебя вторчила!

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- Тебе конкретно башню сорвало!

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- Фффф, фффыффыфФ!

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- А! Кенни! Отвали! Что с тобой?!

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- Фыффывыфвыф фывыфвфывф!!!

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- Чувак!

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- Чувак! Кенни! Успокойся!

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- Я был так близко...

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- Вы бы видели эти сиськи.

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- Какие сиськи?

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- Ну, титьки!

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- Они были просто невероятные!

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- Кенни, все что ты делал после того как кот тебя обоссал, это то, что ты как сумасшедший бегал кругами

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- Ага, а потом ты побежал по городу с криками, разрывая свою одежду.

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- Моя любить сиське...

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- Чувак, мне кажется, мы больше не должны баловаться с этим дерьмом.

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- Далее в новостях Фокс.

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- Новая наркотическая лихорадка.

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- И она убивает ваших детей!

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- Убивает наших детей?

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- По все Америке, дети ловят кайф, от,

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- Кошачьей мочи.

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- Вдыхание кошачьей мочи вызывает состояние эйфории.

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- Так же известное как "Взбадроз"

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- Почему "Взбадроз"?

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- Потому что это весело.

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- Эта шестиклассница утверждает, что она была под зависимостью от кошачьей мочи несколько месяцев!

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- Мы иногда убегали на переменках и наш друг по имени ..., он притаскивал своих котов,

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- И мы просто "взбадросились" весь день.

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- Боже мой!

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- Шейла! Иди, посмотри!

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- Так как определить, "взбадривается" ли ваш ребенок?

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- Первое. Ваш ребенок кажется отрешенным, загруженным.

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- Второе. Лицо вашего ребенка пахнет кошачьей мочей.

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- Третье. Когда вы в зоопарке стоите перед клеткой с тигром, ваш ребенок начинает скрежетать зубами.

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- Так же вы можете догадаться по особым фразам, которые проскакивают, когда ваш ребенок общается с друзьями.

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- Вроде...

"Эй, пошли взбадросимся."

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- Или - "Вы пацаны типа взбадросились?"

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- Или - "Чувак, я так навзбадросился что у меня ща мозг к ебеням разорвет!"

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- Дети этим занимаются?!

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- Дети это делают, потому что это легально.

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- А что вы будете делать, пока не стало слишком поздно?..

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- Мы должны защитить наших детей от этого, Шейла.

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- 20% школьников в возрасте от 6 до 12 лет, говорят, что пробовали "взбадрос" как минимум один раз.

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- Дети также называют это вроде,..

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- "повалять взбадросика", или, "витамин взбА", или "Мариссыанна"

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- "Взбадрос" растекается быстро.

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- Короче, мы уже достаточно напуганы, Джеральд.

Но что нам делать?

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- Я написал обращение, которое сделает, нелегальным, право держать дома кошек, в городе Саус Парка.

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- Джерольд прав.

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- Мы все должны это признать.

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- Кошки смертоносные животные.

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- Если вы будете сидеть, сложа руки и нюхать это дерьмо - это убьет вас.

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- С моей, супер адвокатской силой мы сможем отчистить город от кошек.

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- Следовательно, наши дети никогда больше не будут употреблять наркотики!

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- Поддержим Джерольда!

- Джерольду ура!

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- Меее меее меее

- Беее бееее

- Муууу мумумумуму!

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- Неет! Неееет!!!

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- Ох, хлюп, хлюп,

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- Смирись уже наркота,.. господи...

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- Прощай царапка, мы будем скучать.

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- У нас тут двое!

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- Эй, вы, черт возьми, что творите?!

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- Прости, это теперь противозаконно.

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- Чего?!

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- Нет!

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- Они мне нужны!

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- ФФффффффффффф!!!!!!!!!

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- Слушайте, я же вам говорил, у меня был кот,

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- Но мне пришлось его усыпить, потому что он меня задолбал!

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- Господин Котофей, тебе придется пожить на чердаке,

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- Вот,

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- Пиши дневник.

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- Парни, вы видели Кенни?

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- Не, по-моему, Кенни отпросился по болезни.

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- Ага, и вчера он отпросился.

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- Пацаны...

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- Мне кажется, Кенни здесь нет, потому что он дома "взбадривается"...

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- Ой ну ладно, Кенни ведь знает, насколько опасно "взбадросываться".

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- Ага, где он кошек найдет, их всех выловили.

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- Ага, у кого есть еще кошки в наши дни?..

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- Гашиш тоже запрещен, но люди все равно его находят.

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- С того самого первого раза, когда Кенни "взбадросился" он просто сам не свой.

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- Вы все видите, что он изменился.

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- Спорю, Кенни, взбадросивается дома прямо сейчас.

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- Кенни!

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- Кенни ты дома?

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- Кенни!

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- От блин, ему крышу взбадросом снесло!

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- Кенни!!!

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- Такое дело,

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- Мы твои друзья, чувак, мы не позволим тебе разрушить твою жизнь.

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- Я не разрушаю свою жизнь, ясно? Может теперь отъебетесь?

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- Посмотри на себя!

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- Ты должен завязать с взбадросином!

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- Ага вот так дружище, пусть оно всё выйдет...

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- Кенни, мы типа все за тебя, но если мы еще раз тебя застукаем за взбадросином,

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- Мы на тебя настучим.

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- Хорошо, хорошо, доколупались...

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- Ага, ему нужно немножко спатеньки, даведь?

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- Мы должны держать это, подальше от него.

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- Господин Котофеич, шшш!

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- Бляха!

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- Щшшш. Господин Котофей, вы должны вести себя тише.

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- Или вас найдут.

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- Что?

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- Это соседский кот...

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- Его еще не поймали...

00:11:23,977 --> 00:11:27,373

- Нет-нет, господин Котофеич, я знаю, что вам нравится Руфус, но он должен защищать себя сам.

00:11:28,723 --> 00:11:32,108

- Я не могу прятать больше кошек, господин котофеич,

я и так уже по уши в неприятностях.

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- Ладно, ладно, хорошо!

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- Ладно, пошли Руфус, тихонечко.

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- О, Боже, нет, НЕТ, я не могу спрятать вас всех.

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- Простите, вам придется искать кого-то другого кто...

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- Что ж, наверное, хуже уже не будет...

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- Пошли...

00:12:18,569 --> 00:12:20,047

- Боже мой!

00:12:21,459 --> 00:12:22,423

- Кайл.

00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:25,412

- Кайл, можно тебя на минуточку?..

00:12:26,249 --> 00:12:26,983

- Чего?

00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,668

- Кайл, ты принимаешь наркотики?

00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:31,240

- Нет.

00:12:31,407 --> 00:12:37,172

- Тогда почему твоя мать нашла ЭТО?! В твоем комоде?!

00:12:37,814 --> 00:12:40,160

- Ладно... послушайте, это не мое.

00:12:40,238 --> 00:12:41,537

- Я просто держу это у себя для друга.

00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:43,086

- Не ври нам Кайл!

00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,433

- Как долго ты уже взбадросиваешься?!

00:12:46,785 --> 00:12:49,494

- Я не взбадросиваюсь!

Я ни разу в жизни не взбадросился!

00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:50,948

- Быстро в свою комнату!

00:12:51,025 --> 00:12:53,611

- До тех пор, пока мы с мамой не придумаем, что нам с этим делать!

00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,367

- Пап, может, послушаешь хотя бы секундочку!

00:12:55,446 --> 00:12:56,805

- Сейчас же, Кайл!!!

00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,097

- Господи!..

00:12:58,947 --> 00:13:00,502

- Джеральд, что же нам делать?..

00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:02,301

- Наш сын кошкоман!

00:13:02,379 --> 00:13:04,749

- Для начала, нужно разобраться с этим!

00:13:04,859 --> 00:13:05,805

- Что ты собираешься делать?

00:13:05,877 --> 00:13:10,228

- Наверное, лучше я... отнесу это в подвал,

спрячу, что бы Кайл не нашел это.

00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:16,681

- Нет...

00:13:17,079 --> 00:13:19,141

- Нет! О чем я только думаю, я не должен этого делать.

00:13:20,502 --> 00:13:23,179

- Я был чист 10 лет...

00:13:23,309 --> 00:13:24,885

- Я даже не приближался к кошкам.

00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:31,120

- Но потом это репортаж, дети начали этим заниматься... и я знал, что Кайл также заболеет этим, как и я

00:13:31,275 --> 00:13:32,990

- А теперь в нашем доме кот.

00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:35,019

- Это слишком соблазнительно!..

00:13:39,572 --> 00:13:41,956

- Я сделаю это еще один разик,

00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,852

- Просто один, последний раз...

00:13:43,972 --> 00:13:45,230

- А потом вызову полицию,

00:13:45,328 --> 00:13:47,015

- И сдам им кота.

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- И больше никогда не буду этого делать...

00:13:49,755 --> 00:13:51,297

- После этого

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последнего

00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,130

раза...

00:15:01,077 --> 00:15:03,077

- Я не смог сдержаться...

00:15:03,092 --> 00:15:05,903

- Все из-за твоих, ахренительных сисек!

00:15:07,501 --> 00:15:08,129

- Кто там?

00:15:08,296 --> 00:15:10,079

- Пожалуйста. Откройте дверь.

00:15:11,355 --> 00:15:14,135

- Я слышала вы прятать кошек,

00:15:15,011 --> 00:15:15,869

- Прячу кошек?..

00:15:15,953 --> 00:15:17,693

- Это было бы незаконно...

00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,046

- Вы не понимать.

00:15:19,177 --> 00:15:20,276

- Моя маленькай Нишка,

00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,490

- Ей больше некуда идти!

00:15:22,677 --> 00:15:25,342

- О, нет-нет, у меня просто нет возможности взять еще...

00:15:25,412 --> 00:15:26,929

- Но, тогда они забирать её!

00:15:26,944 --> 00:15:29,623

- Я уже взял кошек Андерсенов и Валинских!

00:15:29,713 --> 00:15:32,360

- Я просто ничего немо...

00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:36,476

- Если подумать...

00:15:36,524 --> 00:15:39,810

- Возможно, я найду еще место, еще для одного...

00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:44,099

- О, такая доброта в такие темные времена!

00:15:51,478 --> 00:15:53,423

- Что за черт?..

00:15:59,245 --> 00:16:01,078

- Кенни, пошел вон отсюда!

00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:04,591

- Блин, Кенни!

00:16:05,722 --> 00:16:07,413

- Плохие кошечки!..

00:16:12,018 --> 00:16:12,804

- Паап!

00:16:12,877 --> 00:16:14,382

- Кто-то в дверь звонит.

00:16:16,471 --> 00:16:18,783

- Ну, я наказан, или нет?!

00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:21,658

- Отлично, я открою!

00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,569

- Чувак, у нас большая проблема!

00:16:25,725 --> 00:16:27,760

- Картман сказал, что Кенни реально звездец!

00:16:27,827 --> 00:16:30,700

- Он обхуяренный в усмерть, чувак!

00:16:30,770 --> 00:16:31,848

- Чего?..

00:16:31,861 --> 00:16:35,232

- Он похоже всех кошек поюзал, на Картманском чердаке.

00:16:35,251 --> 00:16:37,155

- Что ты делаешь с кошками на чердаке, толстожопый?

00:16:37,248 --> 00:16:38,891

- Они невинные жертвы ситуации, Кайл!

00:16:38,986 --> 00:16:43,463

- Их нужно спрятать, или их усыпят.

Тебе этого просто не понять.

00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:46,532

- Короче, нужно найти Кенни, пока он не навредил себе.

00:16:46,543 --> 00:16:48,804

- Я не могу, отец меня наказал.

00:16:49,914 --> 00:16:50,628

- Погодите-ка.

00:16:50,722 --> 00:16:52,181

- А где мой отец?..

00:17:00,092 --> 00:17:03,832

- Всем привет! Рад снова вас видеть!

00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:15,810

- Стооой.

00:17:16,094 --> 00:17:20,476

- Твоя нельзя гладить моя дочь прелестный сисяндрики.

00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:21,977

- Это почему?

00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,594

- Есть...

00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:26,377

- Другая желайаща.

00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:28,847

- Чего?..

00:17:29,394 --> 00:17:30,820

- Вали отсюда пацан!

00:17:32,878 --> 00:17:34,877

- Ты слишком мал для таких дел.

00:17:34,935 --> 00:17:40,219

- Это должно быть решено в сиськатриале, в Соскиаполисе.

00:17:49,887 --> 00:17:53,117

- Сражайтесь, за бесценный трофей!

00:18:35,499 --> 00:18:36,126

- Пап?..

00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:38,857

- Отец! Что, черт подери, ты делаешь?!

00:18:38,915 --> 00:18:41,044

- Они так уже добрых полчаса развлекаются.

00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:43,136

- Она моя, маленький засранец!

00:18:46,228 --> 00:18:48,147

- Джеральд?!

00:18:49,315 --> 00:18:53,957

- Создатель анти-кошачего закона, был обвинен во "взбадривании" в общественном парке.

00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:58,008

- Джерольд Брасловски готовиться сделать публичное заявление.

00:18:58,046 --> 00:19:00,227

- Лично от себя я хочу сказать...

00:19:00,628 --> 00:19:02,178

- Я подвел сам себя.

00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:05,317

- И в первую очередь я хочу извиниться перед моей любимой женой.

00:19:05,385 --> 00:19:06,707

- Не прикасайся ко мне.

00:19:06,788 --> 00:19:08,590

- И перед жителями Саус Парка.

00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:09,908

- Я был не прав.

00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,549

- И не могу позволить, что бы кошек и дальше винили во всем...

00:19:12,915 --> 00:19:14,270

- Это наша вина.

00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:17,287

- Вина тех людей, которые используют их шикарную мочу.

00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:21,189

- Мы должны понять, что взбадросивание, просто того не стоит.

00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,612

- Конечно, вы сражаетесь в сиькоринге,

00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:27,967

- И плескаетесь в фонтанах Ворнафа, с восьмититковой беспаментной горой.

00:19:28,319 --> 00:19:29,720

- О чем, он, черт подери, говорит?

00:19:29,825 --> 00:19:31,125

- Я, понятия не имею.

00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,106

- А потом вы сражаетесь с титько-гоблинами в пещере Газонга,

00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:36,062

- А дальше девушка вас благодарит за это,

00:19:36,157 --> 00:19:38,893

- Но она не настоящая...

00:19:38,951 --> 00:19:42,342

- Да все равно, тебе никогда не видать, действительно хороших сисек в реальной жизни.

00:19:42,842 --> 00:19:45,148

- Проблема в том, что чем больше ты отправляешься в тот мир,

00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,010

- Тем больше тебе нужно туда...

00:19:47,315 --> 00:19:51,433

- До тех пор, пока ты не начнешь кидать тех реальных людей, которые действительно беспокоятся о тебе.

00:19:51,569 --> 00:19:52,192

- Ага.

00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,664

- Наверное, это так.

00:19:54,191 --> 00:19:55,845

- Проблема не в кошках.

00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:59,896

- Мы признали кошек незаконными, и я первый раз взбадросился за 10 лет.

00:20:00,177 --> 00:20:03,025

- Дети все равно будут искать новые способы словить кайф,

00:20:03,141 --> 00:20:06,798

- Типа нюхать клей, или лизать жаб...

00:20:06,891 --> 00:20:08,487

- Так же вы можете ли...

00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:10,691

- Окей, по-моему достаточно, Джеральд.

00:20:10,816 --> 00:20:12,563

- Смысл в том, что я был не прав.

00:20:12,719 --> 00:20:15,558

- Пришло время легализовать кошек!

00:20:15,679 --> 00:20:18,103

- Ага! Ура Джерольду!

00:20:18,171 --> 00:20:19,701

- Молодец Джерольд!

00:20:26,571 --> 00:20:28,923

- Царап, так хорошо, что ты вернулся!

00:20:29,048 --> 00:20:31,186

- Ты ведь не сердишься на нас, не так ли?..

00:20:35,111 --> 00:20:37,746

- Я как никогда рад, что все это закончилось.

00:20:38,084 --> 00:20:39,934

- А вы знаете? Мы сегодня кое-что поняли, пацаны.

00:20:39,986 --> 00:20:42,506

- Мы никогда не должны преследовать живые существа, принуждать их прятаться...

00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:44,145

- Это неправильно.

00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:48,364

- И ты не видишь никаких параллелей, между этим, и чем-либо в истории?..

00:20:48,419 --> 00:20:50,216

- М-м-м, нет,

00:20:50,295 --> 00:20:52,179

- Я понятия не имею, о чем ты говоришь, Кайл.

00:20:52,257 --> 00:20:53,439

- Пацаны, зацените!

00:20:53,965 --> 00:20:55,018

- Кенни...

00:20:57,641 --> 00:20:58,479

- Разве не здорово?

00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:00,379

- Он просто ловит кайф от жизни.

00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:01,435

- Ога.

00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,029

- Он ловит... реальный кайф от жизни...

00:21:11,993 --> 00:21:14,532

- Чувак, да он ложить хотел на жизнь.

00:21:14,642 --> 00:21:15,484

- Кенни!

00:21:17,912 --> 00:21:19,431

- Это что за чертовы цветы?!

00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:20,435

- Кенни?

00:21:20,918 --> 00:21:23,145

- Кенни?!

00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,045

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,613

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,314

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,616

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,618

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,219

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,954

♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,256

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,258

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:28,461

♪ ( mumbling ) ♪

00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:29,829

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,330

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,370

M'kay, kids, we have

something very serious

00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,605

we need to discuss today, m'kay ?

00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,108

It appears that some kids in

school are getting high

00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:44,243

by choking themselves.

00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,613

Some kids call it

the "choking game," m'kay ?

00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,650

But choking

yourself is bad, m'kay ?

00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,386

Don't-don't do that, m'kay ?

00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,888

You can get high

from choking yourself ?

00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,457

Hrgggggg !

00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,392

School children are

often experimenting with

00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,627

dangerous ways to get high, m'kay,

00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,229

like sniffing glue,

00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:06,165

guzzling cough medicine,

huffing paint, m'kay ?

00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,468

But they're all bad, m'kay ?

00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,969

My cousins in Florida

00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:13,906

said kids in their school

get high off of cat pee.

00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,241

- Cat pee ?

- That's not true.

00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,343

You can't get high off of cat urine--

can you ?

00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,146

Well, it's not actually cat urine.

00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,382

But male cats,

when they're marking their territory,

00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,084

spray a concentrated urine

00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,820

to fend off other male cats and...

00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,423

And that can get you really high, m'kay ?

00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:33,760

Really, really high, m'kay ?

00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:39,999

Probably shouldn't have

told you that just now, m'kay.

00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,467

That was probably bad.

00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,738

Alright, this should

keep my cat in place

00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,106

while he sprays the urine.

00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,307

Meow.

00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,642

Yes, poor Mr. Kitty,

00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,310

are you just so upset right now ?

00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,112

Mrrrrrrrrr...

00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,413

You guys are wasting your time.

00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,982

Yeah, it's not gonna work.

00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,350

Meow.

00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,652

- Okay, you ready, Kenny ?

- All set !

00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:02,321

All right, bring out the other male cat.

00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,295

( growling )

Meow.

00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,464

( growling )

00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,468

( screeching )

00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:20,306

Ugh !

00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,941

Whoa !

00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,243

( moaning )

00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,011

Do you feel anything ?

00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,846

Well, Kenny, are you buzzed ?

00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:03,683

♪ Drive it on up ♪

00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,586

♪ Let's cruise awhile ♪

00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:10,223

♪ Leave your troubles far behind ♪

00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,225

♪ You can hedge your bet ♪

00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,094

♪ On a clean Corvette ♪

00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:18,931

♪ To get you there right on time ♪

00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,033

♪ Now if you're ready to dive ♪

00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,769

♪ Into overdrive ♪

00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,506

♪ Baby the green lights are on ♪

00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,475

♪ It's like you're running away ♪

00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,144

♪ On some high octane ♪

00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:35,314

♪ Every time she reaches for the goal ♪

00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,716

♪ Won't you take that ♪

00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,819

♪ Ride ride ride ride ♪

00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:44,957

♪ On heavy metal ♪

00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:48,060

♪ It's the only way

that you can travel... ♪

00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,129

Wow, cool !

Check it out !

00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,734

I see that you are enticed

00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,603

by my daughter's awesome, rocking tits.

00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,005

Yeah.

00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:02,141

Then bathe with my daughter

in the Fountain of Varnoth.

00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,912

Appease the gods by lathering

her boobs with soapy suds.

00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,246

Okay !

00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,290

Woo ! Woo-hoo !

00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,392

( Cartman )

Kenny, Kenny, wake up !

00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,527

Wake up, Kenny !

You all right ?!

00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,562

- Kenny !

- Wait !

00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,530

Where'd she go ?!

00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,565

Dude, that cat urine

really fucked you up.

00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,100

You were seriously tripping balls.

00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,368

You fucking asshole !

00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,170

Agh, Kenny, knock it off !

What's wrong with you ?

00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,939

- Why couldn't you leave me alone ?!

- Agh, Kenny !

00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:36,175

Dude, dude, Kenny, calm down !

00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,245

Oh, I was so close !

00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,148

You should have seen her titties !

00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,616

What titties ?

00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,685

The titties on the girl--

00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,753

they were incredible !

00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,855

Kenny, all you did after

the cat peed in your face

00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,791

was start running

around in circles, cheering.

00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,259

Yeah, and then you

ran through town, screaming,

00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,028

and started tearing off

all your clothes.

00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,297

I almost...touched them.

00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,134

Dude, I don't think we

should be messing around

00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,536

with that crap anymore.

00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,473

( reporter )

Next on Fox News--

00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,008

it's the newest drug craze

00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,677

and it's killing your kids !

00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,312

Killing our kids ?

00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:17,416

All over America, kids are

getting high on cat urine.

00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,486

Huffing cat urine apparently

causes a euphoric state

00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,056

and is also referred to as "cheesing."

00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,024

Why cheesing ?

00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,526

Because it's "fon to due."

00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,829

This sixth-grade girl says

she's been snorting cat piss

00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,564

for several months.

00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,733

( distorted voice )

We sometimes sneak out during recess

00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,002

and our friend named ( bleep )

goes and gets her cats

00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,538

and we'll just cheese all day long.

00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:40,573

Oh, my God !

00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,208

Sheila, come look at this !

00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,844

So how can you tell if your

child is cheesing ?

00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,456

You might also notice by certain phrases

00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,759

your child says

to school friends, such as,

00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,469

Kids are doing this ?

00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,339

( reporter )

Kids do it because it's legal.

00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,308

What can you do before it's too late ?

00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,611

Meow.

00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,313

We have to protect our

children from this, Sheila.

00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,252

20% ofAmerican students

aged six to twelve

00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,388

say they have tried

cheesing at least once.

00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,291

Kids also refer to

it as "the cheese game"

00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,959

or "vitamin cheese"

00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,229

or "Mary Jane piss-in-your-face fun time."

00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,532

Cheesing is spreading fast.

00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,333

All right, we're all

sufficiently scared, Gerald,

00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,535

but what can we do ?

00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,003

I have written up a bill

00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,038

that would make having a cat illegal

00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,140

in the city of South Park.

00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,810

Gerald's right.

00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,211

We all have to face it.

00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,046

Cats are deadly animals.

00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,548

If you stick your nose up their crotch

00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,184

and snort their piss, they can kill you.

00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,952

With my super lawyer powers,

00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,654

we can rid our town of cats,

00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:05,391

so that our kids

can never get high again.

00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,725

Let's hear it for Gerald !

00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,160

Hooray for Gerald !

00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,196

[all cheering for Gerald]

00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,434

Egh-egh...

00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,071

Meow.

00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,006

No, no !

00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,475

Oh, waa-waa !

00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,710

Get over it, druggie--

jeez.

00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,246

Goodbye, Scrambles !

00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,881

We'll miss you !

00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,950

( meowing )

00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,720

( man )

Got two here.

00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,288

Hey, what the fuck are you doing ?!

00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,623

Sorry, these are illegal.

00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:38,357

What ?!

00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,626

No, what are you doing ?!

00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,495

Hey, fuck you !

00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:45,998

Look, I told you, I had a cat

00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,434

but I had it put to sleep

because it pissed me off.

00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,306

Shh.

00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,475

Mr. Kitty, you have to

live in the attic for now.

00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,377

Here... write a diary.

00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,947

( school bell ringing )

00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,518

Guys, have you seen Kenny ?

00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,253

No, I think Kenny's out sick today.

00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,755

Yeah, and he was

out sick yesterday too.

00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,391

Guys...

00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,759

I think Kenny isn't here

00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,661

because he's at home, cheesing.

00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,664

Aw, come on.

00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,766

Kenny knows

how dangerous cheesing is.

00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,268

Yeah, and where's he gonna

find cats anyway ?

00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,469

They've been outlawed.

00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,171

Yeah, who has cats these days ?

00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,772

Ha-ha ha-ha

ha-ha-ha-ha.

00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:27,706

Pot's illegal too,

00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,775

but people still manage to find it.

00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,410

Ever since that

first time Kenny cheesed,

00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,312

he hasn't been the same.

00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,080

You've all noticed the change in him.

00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,051

I'll bet Kenny is home,

cheesing right now.

00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,622

♪ It's your one-way ticket to midnight ♪

00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,957

♪ Call it ♪

00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,225

♪ Heavy metal ♪

00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,627

♪ Higher than high feelin' just right ♪

00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,929

♪ Call it ♪

00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,197

♪ Heavy metal... ♪

00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:55,301

Woooooo !

00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,407

- Haahah !

- Arhghgh !

00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,778

Argh !

00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,514

♪ ... she's riding on a razor's edge ♪

00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,686

♪ She holds her own against the boys ♪

00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,757

♪ Cuts through the

crowd just like a wedge... ♪

00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,794

Aghha !

00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:24,330

♪ It's your one-way ticket to midnight ♪

00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,664

♪ Call it ♪

00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:26,966

♪ Heavy metal ♪

00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,501

♪ Higher than high feelin' just right... ♪

00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,337

Woo-hoo-hoo !

00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,372

Woo-hoo !

00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,940

Woo-hoo-hoo !

00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,244

Kenny ?

00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,378

Kenny, you home ?

00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,680

( Kenny )

Wahghggh !

00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,718

Woo !

00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,854

Erg-- wooooo-hooo !

Woo-hoo !

00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,322

Meow !

00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:51,056

Kenny ?!

00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,691

Woopidie-dooo !

00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,693

Wahhhh !

00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,196

Oh, boy, he's cheesed

out of his mind !

00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,698

Woo-woo... ew...

00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,404

- Kenny !

- Kenny !

00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:10,509

There you go.

00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,111

Try some coffee, Ken.

00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,180

Ughgh... ughggh...

00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,617

Kenny, we need to have a serious talk.

00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,552

Ugh, no, we don't, guys.

00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:21,720

Yes, we do.

00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:22,688

We're your friends, dude.

00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,456

We're not gonna

let you ruin your life.

00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,191

I'm not ruining my life.

00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,327

Will you guys just back the fuck off ?

00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,628

Look at yourself !

00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,330

You've got to lay off the cheese !

00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,503

Yeah, that's it, little buddy,

00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,038

just let it out.

00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,939

Kenny, I know we're super cool

and everything,

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,775

but if we ever catch you

cheesing again,

00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,176

we're gonna tell on you.

00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:47,179

Ugh, okay, okay,

I just want to sleep now.

00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,781

Yeah, he needs some

sleepy night-night,

00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,916

doesn't the buddy ?

00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,151

Meow.

00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,819

We've gotta keep

this away from him.

00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:02,861

( Mr. Kitty meowing )

00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,297

Mr. Kitty !

Shh !

00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,532

( Mr. Kitty meowing )

00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:07,633

Damn it !

00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,403

Shh-- Mr. Kitty, you have to be quiet

00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,605

or else they're gonna find you.

00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,174

Meow.

00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,175

What ?

00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,645

Meow.

00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,247

The neighbor cat--

he hasn't been caught yet.

00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,582

Meow !

00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,751

No, no, Mr. Kitty, I know you like Rufus

00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,419

but he has to fend for himself.

00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,754

Meow.

00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,456

I can't hide any more cats, Mr. Kitty.

00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:31,724

I'm in trouble enough as it is.

00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,492

Meow, meow !

00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,860

All right, all right, fine !

00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,232

All right, come on, Rufus.

00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,467

Quietly.

00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,803

Meow.

00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,372

Oh, Jesus, no.

00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:49,475

No, I can't hide you all.

00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,876

Meow ?

00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:53,212

I'm sorry, you'll just have to find

somewhere else to...

00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,218

Well, I suppose I'll get

in just as much trouble

00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,953

for four cats as for two.

00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,121

Come on.

00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:10,796

( humming )

00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,299

Huh ?

00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,772

Oh, my God !

00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,875

Kyle ?

00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,944

Kyle, can we talk

to you for a minute, please ?

00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,312

Yeah ?

00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,115

Kyle, have you been getting high ?

00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,450

No.

00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,318

Then why did your mother find this

00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,554

in your dresser drawer ?!

00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,157

Meow.

00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,958

All right, look, that isn't mine.

00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,560

I'm just holding it for a friend.

00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,429

Don't lie to us, Kyle !

00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,798

How long have you

been on the cheese ?!

00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:46,765

Meow.

00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,966

I'm not cheesing !

00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,568

I've never cheesed once in my life !

00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,936

Get up to your room right now

00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,237

until your Mother and I

00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,739

figure out how to deal with this !

00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,374

Dad, will you just listen to

me for a second--

00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,608

Now, Kyle !

00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:57,976

God !

00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,646

Gerald, what are we gonna do ?

00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,247

Our son is a cat-pee addict !

00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,683

First thing is we've

gotta dispose of this.

00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,018

What are you gonna do ?

00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,320

I better just take it down to the

basement for now--

00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,155

Make sure Kyle can't find it.

00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,863

No, no, what am I thinking ?

00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,432

I shouldn't do this.

00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,035

I've been clean for ten years.

00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,304

I haven't even been near a cat.

00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,840

But then that report said our kids

were doing it too

00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:31,376

and I knew Kyle would have

the same sickness as I use to have.

00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,845

Now a cat is in our home

00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,880

and it's too tempting !

00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:35,981

Meow.

00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,753

I... I'll just do it one more time,

00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,755

one last time,

00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,325

then I'll call the police,

have them pick up the cat...

00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,526

Meow.

00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,595

... and then I'll never do it again,

00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:52,798

after this one...last...time.

00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,372

( growling )

00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,312

( shrieking )

00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,023

♪ Drive it on up ♪

00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,725

♪ Let's cruise awhile ♪

00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,429

♪ Leave your troubles far behind ♪

00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,364

♪ You can hedge your bet ♪

00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,066

♪ On a clean Corvette... ♪

00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,935

I couldn't stay away.

00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,636

Curse your rockin' tits.

00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,439

( doorbell ringing )

00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,240

Who is it ?

00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:11,143

( woman )

Please, open the door.

00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:14,646

They say you're hiding cats.

00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,881

Hiding cats ?

00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,249

That would be illegal.

00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,884

You don't understand.

00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,387

My little Nishka,

she has nowhere else to go.

00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,422

Oh, no, no.

00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,290

I cannot possibly take in another.

00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,825

But they will find her.

00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,260

I've already taken in the Andersons' cats

00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,561

and the Wolitskys'.

00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,730

There's simply nothing else I can...

00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,401

Then again,

00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,369

perhaps I could find space

00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:39,204

for just this one more.

00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:43,308

Oh, you show such

kindness in such darkest of times.

00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,877

Oh... ohhh...

00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:49,147

Agh, awahghgghhg...

00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,751

What the hell ?!

00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:56,555

[all meowing]

00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,890

Wowoghghgh !

00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,626

Kenny, get outta here !

00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,362

Woo !

Woo-hooooooo !

00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,464

Oh, crap !

Kenny !

00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,632

Bad kitties.

00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,903

( doorbell ringing )

00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,539

Dad, somebody's at the front door !

00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,541

( doorbell ringing )

00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,977

Well, am I grounded or not ?!

00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,345

( doorbell ringing )

00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,747

Fine !

I'll get it !

00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,917

Dude, we've got a big problem.

00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,286

Cartman says Kenny is

really messed up.

00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,289

He's cheesing his

fucking balls off, dude.

00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,090

What ?

00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,425

He apparently got to all the cats

00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,694

Cartman's been hiding in his attic.

00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,629

What are you doing with cats in

your attic, fat ass ?!

00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,331

They're innocent victims in this, Kyle !

00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,866

They have to hide

or they'll be put to death--

00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,670

something you just can't understand.

00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,772

Come on, we gotta find

Kenny before he hurts himself.

00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,275

I can't, my Dad grounded me !

00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,944

Wait a minute, where is my Dad ?

00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,254

Hey, everybody !

00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:03,955

Good to see ya again !

00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,468

Hold !

00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:20,839

You cannot yet caress my

daughter's awesome boobage.

00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,674

How-how come ?

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:26,411

There is another suitor.

00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,715

What ?

00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,283

Get outta here, kid !

00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,151

Dude, fuck you !

That's my girl !

00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,220

You're too young for this stuff !

00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,589

This must be decided at the Breastriary

00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:38,924

in Nipopolis !

00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,834

( all growling )

00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,638

Now fight for the Locknar Trophy !

00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,508

( rocking heavy metal )

00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,113

Yaaaahhhh !

00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,882

Hoooooooo !

00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,851

- Hoooooo !

- Yaaahhh !

00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,189

- Agh !

- Agh !

00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,259

( cheering )

00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,067

- Hi-ya !

- Argh !

00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,468

Argh !

00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,504

- Argh !

- Ahh !

00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:29,541

( grunting )

00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:36,782

Dad ?!

00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,184

Dad, what the hell are you doing ?

00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,520

They been going at it

for a good 30 minutes.

00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,922

She's mine, you little asshole !

00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,124

Get the fuck off of me !

00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,959

Gerald ?!

00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,596

The key proponent of the cat ban

00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,166

has been charged with

cheesing in a public park.

00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,469

Gerald Broflovski is prepared to

give a public statement.

00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,872

I would like to address a personal matter.

00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,841

I have let myself down

00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,544

and I would first like to

apologize to my lovely wife...

00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,145

Don't touch me.

00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,047

... and to the people of South Park.

00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,549

I was wrong,

00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,218

and I can't let cats take the fall anymore.

00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,920

It's our fault.

00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:18,223

The people who use cats for

their sweet urine,

00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:21,660

we have to learn that cheesing

just isn't worth it.

00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,962

Sure you get to fight in the Breastriary

00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,964

and swim in the Fountains of Varnoth

00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,333

with the Itty-Titty Fairies of

Mammary Mountain...

00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:29,835

What the hell is he talking about ?

00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,469

I have no idea.

00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,104

... and then you fight the Boobgoblin

00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,706

in the Gazangas Cave.

00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,575

And then the girl may thank you for it.

00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,244

But she isn't real.

00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:40,612

And you never really get a good look

00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,148

at her naked boobs anyway.

00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,817

Problem is the more

you go into that world,

00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,485

the more you need to go.

00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,854

Until you start blowing off

00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,622

all the real people who care about you.

00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,459

Yeah, I guess so.

00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,328

Cats aren't the problem.

00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,596

We made cats illegal,

00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,599

and then I cheesed for the first

time in ten years.

00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:01,933

And kids are always gonna find

00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,435

a new way to get high,

00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,804

like sniffing glue or licking toads

00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,873

or fermenting feces

or huffing paint.

00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:08,907

You can also look at--

00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,176

Okay, that's probably good, Gerald.

00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,245

The point is, I was wrong.

00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,881

It's time to legalize cats !

00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,249

Yeah !

00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,550

Hooray for Gerald !

00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,218

Let's hear it for Gerald !

00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,294

Scrambles, so good to have you back !

00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,396

You ain't sore at us, are ya ?

00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,465

Agh, agh, agh !

00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,367

Agh, get him off !

00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,968

I'm sure glad that's over with.

00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,470

Me too.

00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,405

But, y'know, we've all

learned something, you guys.

00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:41,873

We can never persecute living beings

00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,842

and force them into hiding--

it's wrong.

00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,012

And you don't see any

parallel between that

00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,780

and anything else in history ?

00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,582

Mmm... nope.

00:20:50,616 --> 00:20:52,517

I have no idea what you're

talking about, Kyle.

00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:54,252

You guys, check it out !

00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,121

It's Kenny.

00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,190

Isn't that great ?

00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,625

He's just getting high on life.

00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,794

Yeah.

00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,062

( snorting )

Woo !

00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,264

Hoo !

00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:08,833

He's getting

really high on life.

00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,468

( snorting )

Woo !

00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,270

Woo, woo-hoo !

00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,873

Dude, he's getting super wasted on life.

00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:15,840

Kenny !

00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,276

Wagh !

Hoo-hoo, woo !

00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:20,245

What the hell kind of

flowers are those ?!

00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,614

Kenny, Kenny ?!

00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:25,250

♪ It's your one-way ticket to midnight ♪

00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,584

♪ Call it ♪

00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,819

♪ Heavy metal ♪

00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,221

♪ Higher than high feelin' just right ♪

00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:31,523

♪ Call it ♪

00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:33,358

♪ Heavy metal... ♪

00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,160

Woo-hoo-hoo !

00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,461

♪ ... call it ♪

00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:40,198

♪ Heavy metal ♪

00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:41,466

♪ Call it ♪

00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,834

♪ Heavy metal ♪