Новая внешность Бритни

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- В прямом эфире, из Чикаго, штат Иллинойс - Выборы 2008.

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- Добрый вечер, и добро пожаловать на политические дебаты

между Хилари Родам Клинтон и Бараком Абама.

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- Первый вопрос: В чем вы видите отличие Вас от Вашего оппонента?

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- Как вы видите...

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- Паап, пожалуйста, можно мы не будем это смотреть?

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- Это важно, Стенли.

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- Вы, мальчики, должны интересоваться такими вещами.

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- Ага, но нам абсолютно пофиг.

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- В общем вы будете сидеть, и смотреть это!

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- Это то что действительно важно!

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- И так, мистер Абама, не поделитесь с нами, в чем заключается

ваша позиция в отношении военных затрат?

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- Мое мнение таково, это...

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- Мы прерываем дебаты, в связи срочным выпуском новостей.

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- Это... Взгляд на Бритни!

Мы держим Вас в курсе самых свежих Бритни новостей!

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- Ух ты! Что она сделала на этот раз?

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- Бритни Спирс была замечена разбивающая лагерь в горах Колорадо

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- И согласно последним новостям - она мочилась в лесу.

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- Роберт Пумер расскажет подробнее.

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- Рон, я нахожусь сейчас в Саус Марк, штат Колорадо,

где, похоже, скрывается от всех Бритни Спирс.

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- А, чуваки это же наш город!

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- Миссис Спирс, была замечена, в горном лагере

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- И вы не поверите, что она сделала, Рон.

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- Скандальная дива, помочилась, прямо на самку жука.

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- Мы замазали фото, для эфира

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- Да ее поездом переехало!

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- Если посмотреть повнимательнее, можно заметить, как бедная самка жука

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- Получает свое…

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- Должно быть, весьма неприятно для Бритни, то, что это фото было опубликовано.

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- И, похоже, что она толстеет.

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- Так точно, Рон, она реально не в порядке…

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- А если увеличить лицо,

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- То вы увидите, что у нее прыщи!

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- А, бедная девочка.

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- Эй, Шерон, Бритни, помочилась на самку жука!

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- Фотографию сделал Брайан Вилис, из "Ежедневника Колорадо",

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- Который продал ее, 31-му СМИ, за 100.000 долларов.

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- Сто тысяч долларов?!

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- Этого хватит, что бы купить рабов!

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- Насколько нам известно, Бритни в данный момент, прячется в мотеле Саус Парка.

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- А теперь вернемся, к дебильным демократическим дебатам...

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- ...и духовные чакры.

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- Пацаны, вы это слышали?!

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- 100.000 долларов за фотку с Бритни!

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- И она в отеле, в нашем городе!

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- Это должно быть "Комфортель", это самый лучший мотель в Саус-Парке.

Картман, тащи камеру!

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- Шииикааарноо!!!

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- По-погодите пацаны,

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- Вам не кажется, что с Бритни Спирс уже хватит?

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- Может, наконец пора уже всем нам...оставить ее в покое?

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- Баттерс, не будь такой девкой.

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- Окей!

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- 100 штук за фотку "Бритни, писающая на самку жука",

прикиньте сколько будет стоить "Срущая на белку Бритни"!

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- Этот костюм предназначался для мюзикла в честь пасхи,

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- А не для того, что бы по-легкому бабла срубить!

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- О, нет!

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- Простите, мы тут пытаемся сфоткать Бритни Спирс!

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- Вступайте в клуб.

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- Ага, вы, начинающие фотографы, только мешаете профессионалам!

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- Слышь, мы тоже профи! Ебаный дебил!

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- Не, не, никто не пойдет наверх.

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- Мы эта... у нас есть спец. разрешение...

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- Ага, вы, что нас не узнаете? Мы дети Бритни Спирс.

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- Серьезно?

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- Я - нет, я белка!

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- Но теперь все думают, что я ненавижу самок жуков!

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- Да я даже не знала, что она была там!

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- Я больше так не могу!

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- Я просто уже так...

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- Простите миссис Спирс, но тут ваши дети, и они притащили с собой белку.

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- Мои мальчики? Правда?

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- Пропустите их!

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- Все хорошо! Тут мои дети! Теперь мне лучше!

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- У нас получилось, пацаны!

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- Яж сказал что сработает!

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- Вы... это была всего лишь уловка?..

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- Моих детей тут нет?..

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- Так, Баттерс, стань рядом с ней!

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- Не стану!

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- Мы обманули её, и это плохо.

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- Баттерс ты хочешь свою долю от 100 тысяч или нет?!

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- Вы никогда не оставите меня в покое, не так ли?

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- Это не правильно использовать людей в своих целях неважно кто они...

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- Хорошо, ладно! Ты нам не нужен Баттерс!

Мы сделаем фотку чего-нибудь другого!

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- Короче, леди, зажгите уже что ли.

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- У меня есть идея получше.

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- Серьезно?

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- Ага.

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- НЕТ!!!

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O_o

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- _-

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o_O

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- _-

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o_O

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- Вы убили её.

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- Эй, у вас все в поряд... оу...

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- Нам следовало, просто оставить её в покое...

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- Но, все равно продолжали давить на нее...

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- Откуда мы знали, что она...

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- Мы так облажались...

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- Она... жива.

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- Слава Богу.

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- Но мы почти её потеряли,

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- Почему вы, мальчики, не могли просто оставить её в покое?

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- Доктор, мы можем с ней поговорить минутку?

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- Я не хочу что бы вы расстраивали её.

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- Мы не хотим расстраивать её, мы просто хотим сказать ей, что сожалеем.

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- Ну, хорошо...

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- Мисс Спирс... Эти мальчики хотели что-то сказать.

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непереводимая речь человека без половины головы.

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- Боже мой!!!

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- О, нет!

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- Мальчики на самом деле шокированы, тем насколько ХОРОШО, ты выглядишь Бритни!

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- Не так ли мальчики?

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- А... ну да!

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- Ага... даже не заметно!

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- Что ж, мальчики, говорите...

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- Мисс Спирс...

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- Мы очень сожалеем, что заставили вас убить себя...

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- О, Боже! Что мы наделали!

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- Это... Бритнин Глаз!

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- Мы держим Вас в курсе всех Бритни- новостей.

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- Вы не поверите, что на этот раз сделала Бритни.

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- Скандальная поп-звезда, только что была замечена,

в сумасшедшем абезбашенном виде.

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- Это видео было снято несколько часов назад,

Бритни Спирс везут в больницу по какой-то причине.

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- А если мы увеличим изображение,

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- Вот-вот здесь,

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- Вы также, без сомнений, увидите сиськошрам,

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- Нет никаких сомнений, что она, в прошлом, сделала пластическую операцию.

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- Ой, вот это должно быть унизительно.

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- Крис, есть какие-нибудь комментарии по поводу, этого, радикального, "абезбашенного" вида мисс Спирс?

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- Пока никаких комментариев, но это возможно из-за того "сиськошрамного видео",

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- Которое мы только, только что показали.

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- Даже не смотря на нестыковки во времени...

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- Сюда мис!..

- Миссис Спирс!..

- Зачем вы...

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- Чувак!..

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- Черт! Ей нельзя сейчас волноваться!

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- Простите, я менеджер Бритни Спирс.

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- О, господи, Бритни!

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- Бритни, о чем ты думала?

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- Сначала ты побрилась, а теперь это.

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- Чтож, это жесткий вид, это уж точно.

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- Бри! Сюда Бритни, одно фото для «Стар Викли»!

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- Черт подери, вы должны увезти ее отсюда, ей нельзя сейчас всё это...

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- Точно, мы должны отвезти ее домой.

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- Мальчики, вы мне с ней не поможете?

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- Да, конечно...

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- Окей, пошли.

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- Вот моя машина.

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- Эй, смотрите!

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- Вот она!

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- мозгии!!!

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- Господи Иисусе!

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- Да, да, так всегда.

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- Спасибо. Да, спасибо.

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- Слушайте, мы себя реально не ловко чувствуем,

и мы хотели бы помочь Бритни, всем, чем можем.

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- Это хорошо, мальчики.

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- Бритни похоже вы в серьез понравились.

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- И не переживайте, Бритни - королева перевоплощений.

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- Нам лишь нужно сейчас добраться до звукозаписывающей студии.

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- Чего?..

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- И так, Бритни, давай начнем с верху.

Не забудь добавить той сексуальности.

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- Простите, это реально то, что, вы думаете, она должна сейчас делать?!

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- Хорош, Брит, попробуем сверху.

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- Боже, как она выглядит.

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- Она должно быть опять обсаженная.

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- Может, вы уже прекратите это, пожалуйста?

Песня отвратительно звучит.

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- Вы о чем? Звучит отлично.

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- Э, Бритни, последняя строчка в тексте - "любовная эйфория", а у тебя звучит больше "любовная копрофилия".

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- Э-й-ф-о-р-и-я, ЭЙФ...

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- Боже, она такая тупая.

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- А чего ты ожидал, посмотри на нее, у нее нет большей части мозга!

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- Я в курсе, она реально тупица!

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- Нет, я в смысле, у нее на самом деле нет большей части мозга!

У нее нет головы!

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- Точняк! Она еще и жирная!

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- Прямой эфир из Лас-Вегаса.

Это Музыкальные Награды МТВ.

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- Чекакдела э! Это Награда МТВ, и мы тут атрываемся ога!

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- Я представляю вам, новую песню, единственной и неповторимой...

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- Бритни Спирс!

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- Ой, да ладно люди, вы чего?!

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- Боже мой, у нее реально проблемы!

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- От блиин, она внатуре шепелявит!

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- У нее вообще нет губ!

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- Катастрофа на Награждении МТВ.

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- Люди были шокированы Бритни Спирс.

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- Ее представление было ужасно, Том.

Она выглядела усталой, толстой, у нее не было головы.

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- Это было полностью не алё.

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- У этой девушки без сомнений, Том, большие проблемы.

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- Не слушай их, Брит.

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- Они все просто завидуют.

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- И мы можем, завтра, отправить тебя на Слим-фест.

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- Терпение, терпение, она выйдет через минуту.

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- Мы должны спасти её, от всего этого, чувак.

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- Люди просто так не отстанут...

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- Мы должны увезти её куда-нибудь, где она будет в покое...

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- Чувак, где Бритни Спирс может быть в покое?

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- Я знаю где...

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- Нам надо три билета до северного полюса.

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- Северный полюс?

00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:05,265

- Кому это, черт возьми, понадобилось на северный полюс?

00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:06,006

- Нам.

00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:07,740

- Мне, моему другу, и его тёте.

00:12:10,372 --> 00:12:12,246

- Это Бритнин Ньюз!

00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:18,004

- Обезумевшая Бритни Спирс, похоже, исчезла, кинув всех своих близких.

00:12:18,077 --> 00:12:22,062

- Местная домохозяйка, сфотографировала убегающую Бритни, с двумя парнями.

00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:26,158

- Очевидно, что Бритни расстроена своим выступлением на МТВ, Рон.

00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:27,924

- И поэтому она в отчаянье.

00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,709

- Но самая серьезная её проблема, это то, что ее промежность похожа,

00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:32,913

- Похожа на верблюжьи пальцы.

00:12:35,343 --> 00:12:39,386

- Вот это да. Лесли, похоже, это весьма серьезное "верблюже пальцевое" нарушение?

00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:42,313

- Абсолютно невиданные ранее верблюжьи пальцы.

00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:44,460

- Бритни видимо, совсем запустила себя.

00:12:44,544 --> 00:12:49,890

- Она должна знать, что если у тебя такого рода верблюжьи пальцы, то люди будут смотреть на тебя.

00:12:49,952 --> 00:12:53,409

- Дэвид, какие- нибудь мысли по поводу, на сколько большие были верблюжьи пальцы?

00:12:53,427 --> 00:12:58,273

- Очень может быть, что это какая-то новая мутация, Брайан, я не знаю что не так с этой девушкой, но,

00:12:58,368 --> 00:13:01,364

- Это плевок во всех верблюдов планеты земля.

00:13:01,425 --> 00:13:05,237

- Близкие Бритни говорят, что они очень обеспокоены, и хотят вернуть ее домой в целостности.

00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,374

- А теперь вернемся к местным новостям.

00:13:07,639 --> 00:13:11,250

- Гигантская белка, которая, на прошлой недели, была поймана обществом контроля над животными,

00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:14,084

- Похоже считает себя разумной

00:13:14,237 --> 00:13:19,017

- Власти Колорадо, направили белку к Джону Хопкинсу, на психологическое обследование

00:13:19,337 --> 00:13:22,615

- Эта белка совершенно очевидно ааАРЕХнулась.

00:13:24,739 --> 00:13:27,629

- Платформа 4Ф. Должно быть, на другой стороне станции.

00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:28,998

- Вот она!

00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:30,209

- Это Бритни!

00:13:31,009 --> 00:13:32,339

- О, нет!

00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:43,369

- Чувак нам никак не пройти через них...

00:13:43,985 --> 00:13:44,970

- Нет, пройти.

00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:45,963

- У меня есть идея.

00:13:47,688 --> 00:13:49,832

- Бритни? Куда она делась?

00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:51,481

- Вон она!

00:14:10,369 --> 00:14:11,280

- Все в порядке.

00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,851

- Вы скоро будете на северном полюсе.

00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,117

- Вот же она.

00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:18,701

- Эй Бритни, это же я.

00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,264

- Бритни, всё кончено!

00:14:33,368 --> 00:14:35,027

- Зачем ты вообще убегала?

00:14:35,115 --> 00:14:36,578

- Эй, погодите-ка.

00:14:36,826 --> 00:14:38,289

- А где верблюжьи пальцы?

00:14:38,886 --> 00:14:40,909

- Я не Бритни Спирс, ясно?

00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:42,498

- Вот блин!

00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,755

- Она наверно осталась на железнодорожной станции, пошли!

00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,094

- Ну-ка погодите-ка!

00:14:46,301 --> 00:14:48,194

- Всем тормознули на минутку!

00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:51,398

- Послушайте, вы так убьете её.

00:14:51,636 --> 00:14:55,118

- Разве вы не видите, Бритни больше не в состоянии

справляться со всем этим дерьмом?

00:14:57,781 --> 00:14:59,954

- Я знаю, что смотреть, как лажают знаменитости может быть очень смешным.

00:15:00,095 --> 00:15:02,480

- Я и все мои друзья виноваты в этом не меньше вашего, но...

00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:03,882

- Возможно...

00:15:03,955 --> 00:15:05,802

- Просто вот, может...

00:15:05,865 --> 00:15:08,475

- Пришло время, со всем вот этим, завязать?..

00:15:08,888 --> 00:15:12,493

- Хотя бы один раз, просто вот, остановится, пока не будет слишком поздно, ага?

00:15:15,642 --> 00:15:17,442

- Сынок, ты, похоже не совсем понимаешь.

00:15:17,698 --> 00:15:18,961

- Бритни Спирс,

00:15:19,027 --> 00:15:20,856

- Должна умереть.

00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,187

- А?

00:15:23,692 --> 00:15:26,129

- А ты думаешь в связи, с чем все эти страдания?

00:15:26,624 --> 00:15:28,199

- Это нельзя остановить,

00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:34,361

- Она должна умереть.

00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:53,977

- Маленький Стенли, был, устал и голоден.

- Но он знал, что для безопасности Бритни Спирс.

00:15:54,573 --> 00:15:56,954

- Он должен доставить её на северный полюс.

00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,034

- Вы себя нормально чувствуете миссис Спирс?

00:16:03,181 --> 00:16:04,222

- Это её.

00:16:05,219 --> 00:16:09,780

- Нет, я уверен, что это Бритни Спирс.

В точности как на фотографии.

00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,987

- Вы хотите, что бы я сделал что?..

00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,271

- Да, я понимаю...

00:16:24,153 --> 00:16:27,711

- Здравствуйте, Я - Боб Самерс,

так все случится в этом маленьком городке...

00:16:28,012 --> 00:16:29,079

- Что происходит?

00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:30,914

- Почему вы хотите, что бы Бритни Спирс умерла?

00:16:31,089 --> 00:16:33,192

- Никто не хочет, что бы она умерла, дитя.

00:16:33,311 --> 00:16:34,630

- Нам просто...

00:16:34,781 --> 00:16:36,269

- Нужно это...

00:16:36,502 --> 00:16:37,692

- Ты понимаешь?

00:16:37,885 --> 00:16:38,829

- Нет!

00:16:38,992 --> 00:16:40,249

- Слушай парень,

00:16:40,405 --> 00:16:44,144

- В течение всей нашей истории, людям приходилось совершать...

00:16:44,247 --> 00:16:46,290

- Человеческие жертвоприношения.

00:16:46,368 --> 00:16:50,120

- В древние времена, люди просто выбирали одну милую девушку,

00:16:50,213 --> 00:16:52,941

- Одаривали ее украшениями, обращались с ней как с богиней, а потом...

00:16:53,297 --> 00:16:54,800

- Смотрели, как она умрет...

00:16:54,909 --> 00:16:56,827

- Но мы как бы цивилизованные люди...

00:16:57,097 --> 00:17:01,688

- Только правда состоит в том, что пытки и смерть ничем не отличает от того что было во времена гладиаторов

00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:06,688

- Единственное отличие это то что, сегодня мы предпочитаем смотреть как умерщвляют людей через журналы и фотографии

00:17:06,761 --> 00:17:08,668

- Это позор.

00:17:10,173 --> 00:17:11,508

- В прежние времена мы были лучше,

00:17:13,628 --> 00:17:17,233

- Раньше мы выбирали наугад, а потом устраивали передоз!

00:17:17,426 --> 00:17:19,329

- Смертельный передоз был слишком жестоким способом.

00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:21,481

- Лучше уж жертва убьет себя сама.

00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:24,633

- Вы имеете ввиду, все хотят, что бы Бритни Спирс убила себя?!

00:17:24,716 --> 00:17:26,824

- Бритни была выбрана давным-давно...

00:17:26,959 --> 00:17:28,646

- Она стала, любима и почитаема,

00:17:28,827 --> 00:17:30,404

- И должна быть принесена в жертву...

00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:31,316

- Ради урожая.

00:17:35,881 --> 00:17:37,316

- Эй, где мы?

00:17:37,410 --> 00:17:38,831

- Что-то не так...

00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:43,499

- О, нет!

00:17:45,512 --> 00:17:46,646

- Давай, Бритни!

00:17:48,672 --> 00:17:49,764

- Пошли, быстрей!

00:18:20,135 --> 00:18:21,288

- Мама, папа!

00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:23,810

- Они собираются ее убить!

00:18:23,891 --> 00:18:25,007

- Они соб... погодите...

00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,307

- А вы, что тут делаете?..

00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:27,684

- Все в порядке, Кайл.

00:18:27,835 --> 00:18:29,594

- Просто... Будь хорошим мальчиком...

00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:30,463

- Быть хорошим мальчиком?..

00:18:30,619 --> 00:18:31,917

- Вы знаете про все это?!

00:18:33,263 --> 00:18:35,215

- Кайл, че за хуйня сейчас происходит?..

00:18:35,325 --> 00:18:37,532

- Ее создали, что бы принести в жертву, Стен!

00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:39,328

- В жертву?! Чему?!

00:18:39,457 --> 00:18:40,735

- Ради урожая, Стенли.

00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:42,810

- По одной причине, по которой мы всегда это делали.

00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:46,768

- Жертвоприношение в марте, увеличивает урожай кукурузы.

00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:48,906

- Урожай кукурузы.

00:18:49,387 --> 00:18:52,211

- Мы не говорили тебе об этом, Стенли, потому что...

00:18:52,366 --> 00:18:56,267

- Хотели подождать, пока дети подрастут

что бы говорить с ними о таких вещах как,

00:18:56,411 --> 00:19:00,312

- Презервативы и ритуальные жертвоприношения ради урожая.

00:19:00,576 --> 00:19:02,119

- Короче, хватит уже!

00:19:02,420 --> 00:19:04,486

- Это зашло уже слишком далеко.

00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:06,443

- Парень прав.

00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,421

- Это зашло слишком далеко.

00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:12,343

- Ага, она должна была убить себя давным-давно.

00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:14,186

- И скоро придет время собирать урожай.

00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:17,863

- Хорошо господа, давайте побыстрее покончим с этим.

00:19:27,009 --> 00:19:27,701

- Нет подождите.

00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:40,478

- Давайте, поторопитесь.

00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:43,071

- Я не могу бегать, давайте в перед, я вас догоню

00:19:52,005 --> 00:19:53,419

- Держи Дейви.

00:20:07,489 --> 00:20:08,910

- Подождите.

00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,057

- Она мертва.

00:20:14,998 --> 00:20:19,456

- Чтож... думаю, настало время нам оставить бедную девушку в покое.

00:20:59,313 --> 00:21:00,601

- Доброе утро Бил.

00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:01,633

- Утро Гил.

00:21:01,713 --> 00:21:03,553

- Шикарная кукуруза.

00:21:08,831 --> 00:21:11,501

- Привет Шерон, Ренди, отличный урожай, ага?

00:21:11,573 --> 00:21:15,315

- Невероятный урожай, один из лучших урожаев за все время.

00:21:15,557 --> 00:21:17,121

- Эй, зацените.

00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:20,512

- ...и молодая певица, в серьез намеривается покорить страну...

00:21:20,908 --> 00:21:23,149

- Майлиз Айрез,

00:21:23,231 --> 00:21:28,955

- Ей всего 15 лет, но она уже на пути к тому, что бы стать мега-звездой.

00:21:30,094 --> 00:21:34,960

- Похоже, что следующий урожай будет еще лучше...

00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,677

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,212

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:14,880

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,349

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,317

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,885

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,620

♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:22,888

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,990

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,294

♪ ( mumbling ) ♪

00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:29,595

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:31,764

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪♪

00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,135

( Announcer )

Live from Chicago, Illinois,

00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:38,571

it's Decision 2008.

00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,774

Good evening and welcome to

the political debate between

00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,777

Hillary Rodham Clinton

and Barack Obama.

00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,178

First question.

00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,682

How do you see yourself as different

from your opponent ?

00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,950

How do you see...

00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,885

Ugh, Dad, can we please not watch this ?

00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,753

This is important, Stanley.

00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,722

You boys should care about this stuff.

00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,157

Yeah, but we totally don't.

00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:00,326

Well, you boys are gonna

sit and watch this.

00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,528

This is what really matters !

00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,929

And so, Mr. Obama,

00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:08,234

why don't you tell us your

stance on military spending.

00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,536

Well, my opinion is that--

00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:14,373

We interrupt this debate for an

emergency news bulletin.

00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,609

It's Britney watch !

00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:19,512

Keeping you up-to-date with all

your Britney Spears news !

00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:20,813

- Ehh !

- Oh, boy !

00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,615

What's she done now ?

00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,550

Britney Spears has been

spotted camping

00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,253

in the Colorado mountains,

and one report claims

00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,489

that she has taken

a piss in the forest.

00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,124

Robert Pooner has more.

00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:34,894

Ron, I'm standing in

"South Mark," Colorado,

00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,729

where Britney Spears

has apparently been

00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,564

trying to get away from it all.

00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:39,865

Oh, dude, that's our town !

00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,568

Mrs. Spears was spotted at

a mountain campground

00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,837

and you won't believe what

she did, Ron.

00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:49,041

The troubled diva took a piss

right on a ladybug.

00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,876

We've blurred out parts of the photo

00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,344

so that it doesn't offend.

00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,815

She's such a train wreck !

00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,551

When the photo is enhanced, Ron,

00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:02,254

you can see the poor little

ladybug getting doused.

00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,857

This must be very

embarrassing for Britney

00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,425

that this photo got out, Bob.

00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,761

And she looks like she's gained weight.

00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,963

That's right, Ron, she really chubbed up.

00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,665

And if you zoom in on her face,

00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,701

you can see that she's got some zits !

00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:16,969

Aw, poor girl.

00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,206

Hey, Sharon, Britney peed on a ladybug !

00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,840

The photograph was taken by

00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,310

Brian Willis of Bailey, Colorado,

00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:28,180

who sold it to 31 news for $100,000.

00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,949

$100,000 !

00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,017

That's enough to buy slaves !

00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,286

Britney is said to be now hiding out

00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,522

in a South Park motel.

00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,857

And now back to the stupid

democratic debates.

00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,927

... and spear chuckers.

00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,630

Did you guys hear that ?

00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,665

$100,000 for a picture of Britney.

00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,367

And she's at a hotel in our town !

00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:49,602

It's gotta be the Komfort Inn.

00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,103

That's the nicest hotel in South Park.

00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,338

Cartman, go get your camera !

00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:54,373

Sweet !

00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,375

Ha-hang on, fellas.

00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,277

Don't you think Britney's been through enough ?

00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,845

I mean, maybe it's finally time

00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:02,648

for us all to just leave her alone.

00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,084

Butters, don't be such a pussy.

00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,452

Okay.

00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,856

100,000 for a picture of Britney

peeing on a ladybug.

00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,124

Imagine what a photo of her

00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,859

crapping on a squirrel is worth !

00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,527

This costume was supposed to be

00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,096

for the easter musical, fellas,

00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,598

not for tryin' to make an easy buck !

00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,899

Oh, no !

00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,204

Excuse us !

00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,939

We're trying to get a picture of Britney Spears.

00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,240

Join the club.

00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,975

Yeah, all you amateur photographers

00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,177

are making this tougher on

the professionals !

00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,246

We're professionals too,

you fucking butthole !

00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,117

Uh-uh, nobody goes upstairs.

00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,552

We have special permission.

00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,321

Yeah, don't you recognize us ?

00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,356

We're Britney Spears' kids.

00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,125

You are ?

00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,359

Not me.

00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,194

I'm a squirrel !

00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,097

But now everybody thinks

I hate ladybugs !

00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,199

I didn't even know it was there !

00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,201

I can't take it anymore !

00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,636

I'm just so...

( knocking )

00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,339

Excuse me, Mrs. Spears,

but your kids are here

00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,141

and they've brought you a squirrel.

00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,076

My boys ?

Really ?

00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,544

Send them in !

00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,546

It's okay, my kids are here !

00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,048

I feel better now.

00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:12,985

We did it, guys !

00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,219

I told you that would work !

00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,487

[boys]:

Yeah ! All right ! Yeah !

00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:16,922

All right !

00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:20,025

You mean, it was just a joke ?

00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,427

My kids ain't here ?

00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:22,828

All right, Butters, go get next her.

00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,229

I ain't doin' it !

00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,165

We tricked her and it wasn't nice !

00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,534

Butters, do you want your share of

the $100,000 or not ?

00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,703

You're never gonna leave

me alone, are you ?

00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,438

It ain't right to take advantage of somebody,

00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:33,972

no matter who they are !

00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,041

All right, fine !

We don't need you, Butters !

00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,110

( Stan )

We'll just get a picture of

her doing something else !

00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:40,179

Lady, just flash us your crotch or something.

00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,747

I've got a better idea.

00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,382

You do ?

00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,750

Yeah.

00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:45,751

( gun cocking )

00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:46,752

No !

No !

00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:03,936

You killed her !

00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,075

Hey, everything all right up-- oh.

00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,047

( woman on loudspeaker )

Paging Dr. Bender.

00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,682

Paging Dr. Bender, please.

00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,891

We should have just left her alone...

00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:27,793

But we just had to push her.

00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,695

How could we know she would...

00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:32,464

Oh, we suck so hard.

00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,404

She's... alive.

00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,372

- Whew !

- Oh, thank God.

00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,641

But we almost lost her.

00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,943

Why couldn't you boys just leave her alone ?

00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,512

Doctor, could we talk to her for a minute ?

00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,814

I don't want you making her upset.

00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,115

We don't wanna upset her.

00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,518

We just wanna tell her that we're sorry.

00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:53,986

[Sighs]

All right.

00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:59,291

Ms. Spears, these boys wanted

to say something.

00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,527

Grggll...

00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,762

- Oh, my God !

- Oh, no !

00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,899

The boys are just shocked at how

good you look, Britney.

00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,434

Right, boys ?

00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,402

Oh, yeah !

00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,738

Yeah, it's not even noticeable.

00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,007

Grgrhgrghl,

ghrhgghglglgl.

00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,376

Well, I'll let you boys have your say.

00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,915

Gargghghg...

Gahrhgghgh...

00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,716

Ms. Spears, uh...

00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,485

We're really sorry for making you

00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,353

wanna kill yourself.

00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,322

Oh, God, what have we done ?

00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,059

It's Britney watch !

00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:37,362

Keeping you up-to-date with all

your Britney Spears news.

00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,199

You won't believe what Britney's done now.

00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,568

The troubled pop star has just been spotted

00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:46,205

with a crazy no-top-part-of-my-head look !

00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,207

This video was taken just hours ago

00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,909

as Britney was wheeled into the

hospital for some reason.

00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,945

And if we zoom in on the footage--

00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,446

right-- right here,

00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,483

you can also definitely see a boob-job scar.

00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,586

No doubt now that she's had plastic

surgery in the past.

00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,753

Oh-ho-ho.

00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,989

Oh, ouch, that's gotta

be embarrassing !

00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:06,024

Chris, any word on why Ms. Spears

00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:09,161

went for this radical

no-top-of-the-head look ?

00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:12,130

No word yet, tom, but it could

be over the embarrassment

00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,066

of the boob-job-scar video

00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,134

we showed just-- just now.

00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,704

Uh, even though the timing

doesn't quite work out.

00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:23,575

[reporters shouting]

00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,577

Dude !

00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,946

Just a second of your time, Ms. Spears !

Over here !

00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:31,083

Damn it !

She can't handle any stress right now !

00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,218

Excuse me,

I'm Britney Spears' manager.

00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,920

Oh, jeez, Britney !

00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,788

Britney, what were you thinking ?

00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,891

First you shave your head and now this !

00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,325

Garghgh.

00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,829

Well, it's a ballsy new look,

I'll give you that.

00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,532

Brit, over here, Brit,

one for Star Weekly ?

00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,033

Gahrhggh garhhggh !

00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,434

Damn it, you have to

take her out of here !

00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,270

She can't be around all this right now.

00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,871

Right, we need to take her home.

00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,573

Boys, can you give me a hand with her ?

00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:55,908

Yeah, of course.

00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,112

Okay, come on.

00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,447

My car's right here.

00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,615

Hey, look !

00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,950

There she is !

00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,019

( screeching )

00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,657

[reporters shouting]

00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:13,725

Britney, why aren't

you wearing any shoes ?

00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,227

Why no shoes, Britney ?!

00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,695

Jesus Christ !

00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,397

Yeah, yeah, it's like this all the time.

00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,631

Thank you.

00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,900

Yes, thanks.

00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:25,537

[reporters]:

Britney, over here...

Britney...

00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,639

Look, uh, we feel really bad

00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,175

and we wanna help

Britney however we can.

00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,044

That's great, boys.

00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,580

Britney seems to have really

taken a liking to you.

00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,447

And don't worry,

00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:38,050

Britney is a queen at reinventing herself.

00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,318

We just need to get her into the

00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,486

recording studio right away !

00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,021

What ?

00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,923

All right, Britney,

let's take it from the top.

00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,926

Remember to bring that sexiness to it.

00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,728

Excuse me, is this

really what you think

00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:50,996

she should be doing right now ?

00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,432

All right, Brit, let's try it from the top.

00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,304

♪ Ggrgrlglglg ♪

00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,240

♪ Rglrglrglrl ♪

00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,141

♪ Rlgrlrglrg... ♪

00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,210

God, what a train wreck.

00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,779

She must be stoned again.

00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,481

♪ ... ghagh ♪

00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:12,217

♪ Ghghghg ♪

00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:14,753

♪ Grgrgrgrl... ♪

00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,121

Would you put a stop to this, please ?

00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,823

This is only gonna make things worse.

00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,425

What do you mean ?

She sounds great !

00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,227

Uh, Britney, that last lyric

00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,363

is supposed to be "love elation."

00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,965

Sounds more like you're saying

"love creation."

00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,433

Grlglgl.

00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:29,267

"Elation"...

00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,003

really annunciate the "L".

00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,804

Graggglgl glrlglggl...

00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,073

God, she's so stupid !

00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,441

What do you expect ?

Look at her !

00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,243

She doesn't have most of her brain !

00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:40,078

I know, she's really dumb, huh ?

00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,346

No, I mean she literally

00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:42,581

doesn't have most of her brain !

00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:43,815

Her head is gone !

00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,918

Yeah, and she's all fat too.

00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,453

♪ Graggglgl ♪♪

00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,423

( Announcer )

Live from Las Vegas,

00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:54,259

it's the MTV Video Music Awards.

00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:55,227

What's up, y'all ?

00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,663

It's the MTV Awards and we are

kickin' it off right !

00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,866

Here to perform her new song is

the one and only

00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,501

Britney Spears !

00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,142

Oh, come on now, people !

00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,243

Oh, my God !

00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,644

She's really gotten chubby !

00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,349

♪ It's Britney bitch ♪

00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,654

♪ ( giggling ) ♪

00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:26,058

♪ Gragggal ♪

00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:29,227

♪ Ghagh ♪

00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,496

♪ Ghghghg ♪

00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,698

♪ Grgr ♪

00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,434

♪ The way she feels ♪

00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,969

♪ Grhgrh ♪

00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,538

♪ Love inside ♪

00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,173

♪ Grlrglr... ♪

00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,742

Oh, man, she's totally lip-synching.

00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:46,178

She doesn't have any lips !

00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,814

♪ ... temporary ♪

00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,949

♪ Grghgrhll ♪

00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,085

♪ So hot ♪

00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:56,354

♪ Grghgh... ♪

00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,857

♪ Grghgrhgrh... ♪♪

00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,793

Disaster at the MTV Awards.

00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,429

People are ridiculing Britney Spears.

00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,531

Her performance was awful, Tom.

00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,166

She looked tired, she looked fat,

00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,434

she didn't have a head.

00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,002

It was just completely phoned in.

00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:14,372

No doubt, Tom,

that girl has major issues.

00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,874

Don't listen to 'em, Brit.

00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,809

They're all just jealous.

00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,978

And we can put you

on Slim-Fast tomorrow.

00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,382

- Britney !

- Were you on drugs, Britney ?

00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,951

She'll be out in a minute !

00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,889

Grlglgl...

00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,933

We have to get her

away from all this, dude.

00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,803

People just aren't going to let up.

00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:48,173

We have to take her

somewhere to just be at peace.

00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,908

Dude, where in the world

can Britney Spears go

00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,743

where nobody will bother her ?

00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,814

I know where.

00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,650

( whistle blowing )

00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:02,254

We want three tickets to the North Pole.

00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,655

The North Pole ?

00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,157

Who the hell goes to the North Pole ?

00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,258

We do !

00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,059

Me, my friend, and his aunt.

00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,262

Gargl.

00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:12,564

It's Britney watch !

00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,132

A distraught Britney Spears

00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,467

has apparently disappeared

00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,969

and abandoned all those close to her !

00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,005

A local housewife caught

a photo of Britney

00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,374

running away in this disguise !

00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,942

Britney is obviously very upset

00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:26,077

about her MTV performance, Ron,

00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,013

and so she's become desperate.

00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,848

Most troubling for her is the fact

00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:33,952

that her disguise has total camel toe !

00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:36,054

- Oh, ouch !

- Oh, boy.

00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,990

Now, Leslie, this seems like

a really bad camel-toe offense.

00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,327

Absolutely major camel toe, Traci.

00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,496

Britney just seems oblivious.

00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,997

She was bound to get noticed.

00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:48,099

You walk around with that

kind of cam-toe

00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:50,001

and you're gonna turn heads.

00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,204

David, any idea as to how big

00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:53,872

the camel toe actually was ?

00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:56,341

She was sportin' toe like

never before, Brian.

00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,109

I don't know what's wrong

with that girl,

00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:01,179

but it's a slap in the face

to camels all over the planet.

00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,515

Those close to Britney say

they are very worried

00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,483

and want to bring her home safe.

00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,452

And now back to the local news.

00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,222

The giant squirrel, which

was picked up last week

00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,823

by animal control

00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:14,259

apparently now thinks it's a person.

00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,094

Colorado officials have

taken the squirrel

00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:19,130

to Johns Hopkins

for psychiatric evaluation.

00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,766

That squirrel is obviously nuts.

00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,338

Platform 4-f--

00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,173

it must be on the other side

of the station.

00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:29,574

( man )

There she is !

00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,809

It's Britney !

00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,711

- Britney, over here !

- Oh, no.

00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,647

[reporters shouting]

00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:37,549

Are you embarrassed about

the camel toe ?

00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,755

Dude, they're never

gonna let us through !

00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,090

Yes, they are.

00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:47,225

I have an idea.

00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,760

Britney ?

00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:50,328

Where'd she go ?

00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,696

There she is !

00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,035

- Britney, over here !

- Over here, Ms. Spears !

00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,004

- Britney !

- Over here, Britney !

00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,409

[reporters shouting]

00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,515

( whistle blowing )

00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:13,318

It's okay, you'll be in the North Pole soon.

00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,452

Garglglg...

00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:17,555

There she is !

00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,957

Hey, Britney, it's me !

00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:24,963

[shouting]

00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,668

- Britney, Britney !

- Come back, Britney !

00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,937

Britney...

Britney...

00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,805

Britney, it's over !

00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:35,473

What were you running for anyway ?

00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,242

Hey, wait a minute.

00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,544

Where's her camel toe ?

00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,813

I'm not Britney Spears, all right ?

00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:42,881

Oh, psych !

00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,649

She must be back at the train station !

00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:45,617

Come on !

00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:46,885

Now, wait a minute !

00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,387

Everyone just stop for one minute !

00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,157

Look, you guys are gonna

end up killing her.

00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:53,992

Can't you see that Britney isn't

in any condition

00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,727

to handle this crap anymore ?

00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,565

I know watching celebrities go

down can be fun.

00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:03,201

Me and my friends were just as

guilty as all of you but...

00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,271

Maybe... just maybe...

00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:09,240

it's time to let this one go.

00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,475

Just this one time,

00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,510

let's all stop before it's too late, huh ?

00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,949

Son, you don't

seem to understand.

00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:21,853

Britney Spears... has to die.

00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:24,055

Huh ?

00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,491

What do you think all this effort

has been for ?

00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,593

It cannot be stopped.

00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,731

It's not just the press--

everyone agrees.

00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,232

She must die.

00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:36,868

♪ Re tus ♪

00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:38,803

♪ Hote homnibus ♪

00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,872

♪ Re u tu te form-day-boose ♪

00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,140

♪ Flay-tus ♪

00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,675

♪ Ko-me-fay ko-me-fay ♪

00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,243

♪ Sancto may us ko-me-fay ♪♪

00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:52,217

( Narrator )

Little Stanley was tired and hungry...

00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,552

But he knew that for

Britney Spears to be safe

00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,789

he had to get her to the North Pole.

00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,824

You doin' okay, Mrs. Spears ?

00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,393

Garglglglggl.

00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,230

It's her.

00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:06,798

No, I'm sure it's Britney Spears.

00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:08,433

It looks just like the picture.

00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,705

You want me to what ?

00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,306

Yes... I understand.

00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,576

♪ Re tus ♪

00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,311

♪ Hote homnibus ♪♪

00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,551

Hello, I'm Bob Summers.

00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:27,986

Is today the day ?

00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,220

What is going on ?

00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,222

Why do you want Britney Spears to die ?

00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,458

Nobody wants her to die, little boy.

00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,361

We all simply... need her to.

00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,729

Do you understand ?

00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,030

No !

00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:41,399

Look, kid, throughout history,

00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,436

people have found it

necessary to engage in...

00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,337

human sacrifice.

00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:47,705

In ancient times,

00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,941

humans would commonly

pick one lovely girl

00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:51,509

and adorn her with jewels,

00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,711

treat her like a goddess and then...

00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,979

watch her die.

00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:58,116

We Americans like to think

we're more civilized now,

00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,251

but the truth is our lust for

torture and death

00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,720

is no different than it was in

gladiator times.

00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,356

Only difference is that now

Americans like to watch

00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:08,226

people put to death through

magazines and photographs.

00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,095

It's a damn shame too !

00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:11,629

Old ways were better !

00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,832

Used to be we just picked

someone by lottery

00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,600

and then stoned them to death.

00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:17,368

No, the American people don't want to

00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,304

stone people to death anymore.

00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,606

Best have the sacrifice kill itself.

00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,274

You mean everyone in the country wants

00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,943

Britney Spears to kill herself ?

00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,145

Britney was chosen a long time ago

00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,780

to be built up and adored

00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,549

and then sacrificed... for harvest.

00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,820

( whistle blowing )

00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,155

Hey, where are we ?

00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:39,290

This isn't right.

00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,726

- Over here, Ms. Spears !

- One for US Magazine ?

00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,794

Right over here, Ms. Spears !

00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,296

- Oh, no !

- Ggoegogog ! Ggogo !

00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,531

Come on, Britney !

00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:49,901

Come on, come on !

00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,509

( gasping )

00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,800

Mom, Dad !

00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:23,968

They're gonna kill her !

00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,336

They're gonna-- wait,

00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,804

what are you doing here ?

00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,506

It's all ofAmerica, Kyle.

00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,642

We're all a part of this together.

00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,211

You know about all this ?

00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,246

Kyle, what the fuck is going on now ?

00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,682

She's been built up

to be sacrificed, Stan !

00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,417

Sacrificed ?

For what ?

00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,219

For harvest, Stanley.

00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,855

The same reason human

beings have always done it.

00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:47,892

"Sacrifice in March,

corn have plenty starch."

00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,494

Corn harvest.

00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:51,429

We hadn't told you about it, Stanley,

00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,499

because we like to wait until

kids are a little older

00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,834

to talk to them about

things like condoms

00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:00,238

and ritualistic human

sacrifice for harvest.

00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,373

All right, enough already !

00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:05,076

This has all gone on long enough.

00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,678

The kid is right.

00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,846

This has gone on too long.

00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:12,317

Yeah, she was supposed to have

killed herself a long time ago.

00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,452

And harvest is coming soon.

00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,654

All right, folks, let's finish this quickly.

00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,493

( cameras clicking )

00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,233

No, wait.

00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,135

Rggll...

Grlglgl...

00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:39,143

Argngg...

Rglglglg...

00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,445

Come on, hurry up.

00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:41,512

I can't run.

00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,548

You go ahead, I'll catch up with ya.

00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,621

Ralgglg !

00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,756

Ralglglg !

00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,725

Here, Davy.

00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,166

Garggg !

00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,436

Gargglglglglgl...

00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:08,940

Hold on !

00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,345

She's dead.

00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:18,716

Well, I think it's time for us to

leave the poor girl alone.

00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,756

( thundering )

00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,306

( rooster crowing )

00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,659

- Mornin', Bill.

- Mornin', Joe.

00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,994

Nice-lookin' corn.

00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,402

Hey, Sharon, Randy,

great harvest, huh ?

00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,804

An incredible harvest.

00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,306

Some of the best corn

I've seen in years.

00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:17,208

Hey, check it out.

00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:18,643

... and the young girl has really

00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,778

taken the country by storm !

00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:22,914

Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus,

00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,983

though only 15 years old,

is already on her way

00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,585

to being a major superstar.

00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,557

Looks like next harvest

will be even better.

00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,593

♪ Re tus ♪

00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,628

♪ Hote homnibus ♪

00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,864

♪ Re u tu te form-day-boose ♪

00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:40,998

♪ Flay-tus ♪

00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,400

♪ Ko-me-fay ko-me-fay ♪

00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:43,534

♪ Sancto may us ko-me-fay ♪♪