Чудесная пасхальная история — Стэн ищет корни пасхальных традиций и узнаёт страшную тайну, к которой причастны его отец, лидеры католической церкви и Иисус, решивший опять воскреснуть.

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Чудесная пасхальная история

Fantastic Easter Special

Сезон: 11Серия: 05

Описание

Стэн ищет корни пасхальных традиций и узнаёт страшную тайну, к которой причастны его отец, лидеры католической церкви и Иисус, решивший опять воскреснуть.

Субтитры

00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:12,500 Всё by 4elovek. Редактирование перевода by Saddam.
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:17,500 Замечания и советы в ПМ на http://southpark.org.ru/forum/
00:00:36,050 --> 00:00:44,870 ...В моей пасхальной шляпе с оборками я буду самой роскошной леди на параде.
00:00:45,340 --> 00:00:49,490 Как вам? Наполовину фиолетовое, наполовину желтое с наклеенной синичкой.
00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:50,730 Я крут.
00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:54,690 А можно спросить? Зачем мы это делаем?
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:59,060 Что значит "Зачем мы это делаем?" Это же пасха.
00:00:59,570 --> 00:01:01,590 Ага, и зачем мы красим яйца?
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,800 Нууу, чтобы пасхальный заяц смог их спрятать.
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,050 Да, но зачем?
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:14,290 Стэнли, пасху празднуют в тот день, когда Иисус воскрес после распятия за наши грехи.
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:18,270 Поэтому мы окунаем яйца в уксус с красителем и гигантский заяц прячет их?
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,250 Точно.
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,340 Вы не видите тут проблем с логикой?
00:01:22,130 --> 00:01:28,180 Я просто говорю, что между смертью Иисуса на кресте и зайцем-переростком, прячущим яйца, есть пробел.
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,590 Стэнли, просто крась эти чёртовы яйца!
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,610 Мне не нравится! Я ничего не понял!
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,030 Что с ним не так?!
00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:39,680 Он просто взрослеет, Рэнди. Может, до него дошло, что пасхальный заяц - это выдумка.
00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,370 Ты знаешь так мало!
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:55,600 Я хочу игрушечного солдата Балтора на пасху и пять радиоуправляемых машин, уловил?!
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:56,800 ТЫ ПОНЯЛ?!
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,250 Эээ, тебе не кажется, чт-
00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:01,940 Нет-нет! Ты не задаёшь мне вопросы! Ты - заяц! Я - человек.
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:05,710 Так что, если не принесёшь мне на пасху то, что я хочу, я могу тебя убить нах*й!
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:06,480 Улыбочку!
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,230 Пока, пасхальный заяц!
00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:10,950 О, господи.
00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:13,780 Так, можешь мне объяснить, что происходит?
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:14,510 А?
00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:19,130 Какой смысл нам красить яйца, а тебе их прятать? Какое отношение это имеет к смерти Иисуса на кресте?
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:24,030 Это символично? Вы ссылаетесь на события, произошедшие в библейские времена?
00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:25,530 Отвечай!
00:02:26,490 --> 00:02:28,720 Слушай, пацан, я просто... просто мужик в костюме.
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:34,180 Я знаю! Но я думаю, ты должен знать что-нибудь про пасху, если взялся играть пасхального зайца в супермаркете.
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,690 Хмм, пасха она и есть пасха. Просто иди уже, парень.
00:02:37,810 --> 00:02:41,020 НЕТ, я это так не оставлю! Я выясню, что стоит за всем этим!
00:02:42,340 --> 00:02:43,930 Мне нужен перерыв. Можно мне?
00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:51,310 У нас проблема.
00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:53,860 Кое-кто под нас копает.
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,840 Да, он задаёт много вопросов.
00:02:57,470 --> 00:03:00,580 Он узнает правду о пасхе, это лишь вопрос времени.
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,030 Да, я понимаю, что должно произойти.
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,350 Вызывайте остальных.
00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:48,400 Мам? Пап?
00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:51,360 Есть кто дома?
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,940 Не сейчас, Стэнли, я на толчке!
00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:56,080 Пап! Ты должен мне помочь!
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,270 Погоди, дай посрать.
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:00,390 Пап! За мной гонятся пасхальные зайцы!
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,090 Что?
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,390 Они преследуют меня от супермаркета! Я не знаю, что им нужно!
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,950 Они вломились в дом! Пап, открой же эту ДВЕРЬ!
00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:11,590 Папа??
00:04:12,270 --> 00:04:14,680 Нам... надо поговорить, Стэн.
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:17,220 Всё в порядке, ребят.
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:18,720 Рэнди?
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,330 Да. Потому что этот пацан - мой сын.
00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:25,190 Оооо.
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:29,870 Скажите великому зайцу, что всё ОК. Дальше я сам.
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:35,910 Я хотел сохранить это в секрете от тебя, Стэн. Я хотел подождать, пока ты подрастёшь, но...
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:38,460 ты так и продолжал задавать вопросы!
00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:40,590 Зачем эти остальные зайцы гнались за мной?!
00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:46,570 Нам надо быть осторожными, когда кто-то пытается нас раскрыть. Мы часть тайного общества, Стэн.
00:04:47,110 --> 00:04:54,010 Древнего и очень важного общества людей, следующих по пути кролика и защищающих секрет пасхального зайца.
00:04:54,910 --> 00:04:57,370 Оно называется... "Заячье общество для мужиков".
00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:01,840 Мама об этом знает?
00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:05,260 Это же "Заячье общество для МУЖИКОВ". Бабам не понять.
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:06,520 Я не понимаю!
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:12,720 Я член тайного общества, которому тысячи лет! Наши личности должны быть защищены!
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,050 Ты, ты можешь снять уши, пожалуйста?
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,490 Стэн, ты похоже не понимаешь, насколько это серьёзно.
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:23,130 Секрет пасхи, который мы храним - это то, что может подорвать основу всего мира!
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,860 Так в чем секрет-то?
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,860 Я не могу тебе сказать. Сначала ты должен быть принят в общество, но...
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:30,800 но возможно...
00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:31,930 уже пора.
00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:39,110 Я всегда знал, что наступит день, когда мой сын войдёт в общество.
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,760 Напоминает мне день, когда отец привел меня туда.
00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:42,920 Дед тоже там?
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:46,760 Конечно. Марши состояли в "Заячьем обществе для мужиков" испокон веков.
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,690 Всё возвращается на круги своя.
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,160 Пап, мне обязательно сидеть с мешком на голове всё это время?
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:55,250 Ты еще не член общества. Поэтому не должен знать, где происходят наши тайные встречи.
00:05:56,030 --> 00:06:00,450 Мы направляемся в одно место... это старое здание рядом с озером в 40 минутах езды отсюда.
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,110 Ты про старую Ложу в Галвестоне?
00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:08,570 Чёрт.
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,180 Привет, Билл.
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:14,940 Вечер добрый, Маркус.
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,560 Привет, привет! Взгляни-ка на себя.
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:17,300 Всем здрасьте.
00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:23,990 Стэн Марш, добро пожаловать! Ты, должно быть, очень взволнован.
00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:25,440 А должен?
00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:28,390 Вот он! Это мой внук!
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,410 Привет, дедуля.
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,980 Я горжусь тобой, Билли.
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:32,180 ...Стэн.
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:57,920 Сегодня мы решим, достоин ли новый член хранить тайну.
00:06:58,670 --> 00:06:59,210 Внесите...
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:00,640 зайца.
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,320 Все, поприветствуем великолепного зайца, Снежка!
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:35,370 Привет, Снежок.
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:40,260 Стэн Марш, ты готов услышать секрет пасхи?
00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:41,160 Да.
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:42,450 Ты уверен, сынок?
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:46,260 Узнав секрет, ты навсегда свяжешь себя с "Заячьим обществом для мужиков".
00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:47,530 Да, я уже хочу узнать.
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,210 Хорошо.
00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:54,210 На Тайной Вечере Иисус Христос встретился с двенадцатью своими учениками. Это там-
00:07:57,890 --> 00:07:58,710 Они нашли нас!
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:00,020 Защитим Снежка!
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:08,440 Они повсюду!
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,010 Давай, надо бежать!
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:24,400 Стэн, держи Снежка и убирайся отсюда!
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,440 И куда мне идти?
00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:26,910 ПРОСТО УБИРАЙСЯ ОТСЮДА!!!
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,240 Где заяц?!
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:44,710 Куда вы нас забираете??
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,030 Нет! Я никуда не собираюсь!
00:08:50,870 --> 00:08:51,790 Господи Иисусе!
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:54,610 Кому ты отдал зайца?!
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:00,740 Прочешите местность! Пацан не мог уйти далеко!
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:02,480 О нет...
00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:17,220 Помоги.
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:19,270 Что стряслось?
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,280 Мой отец принадлежит к культу, поклоняющемся зайцу. Он называется "Заячье общество для мужиков" и охраняет тайну пасхи
00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:26,250 но до того, как они мне сказали, что это за тайна, на них напали ниндзя. И теперь я в ответе за Снежка.
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:30,650 ...Я типа пальцами рисую щас.
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:35,900 Чувак, они забрали моего отца. И даже застрелили одного мужика из общества. А теперь они ищут меня!
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,930 Ты знаешь что-нибудь о пасхе? Какая связь между Иисусом, зайцами и крашеными яйцами?
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,190 Ты че, я еврей. Понятия не имею.
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,010 Нельсон.
00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:55,930 Нельсон? Нельсон, скажи что-нибудь.
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,550 Мои ноги. Я думаю... они сломаны.
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:02,250 Нельсон, ты знаешь где мы? Куда они нас притащили?
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:07,710 Не знаю... нас везли много часов... всё время в темноте...
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:14,410 Ты...
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:21,850 Привет, мы бы хотели поговорить с профессором Тибэгом?
00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:24,680 О чём же?
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,010 Об истории пасхи.
00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:30,180 Простите, ребята, поздновато для чтения лекций.
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,730 Пожалуйста? Вы знаете что-нибудь о "Заячьем обществе для мужиков"?
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,320 Хранители?
00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:40,450 Защитники секрета?
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,650 Мой отец там. И этот... заяц тоже с этим связан.
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:44,880 Заходите.
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:54,450 "Заячье общество для мужиков" существует много веков. Одним из самых известных его членов был Леонардо Да Винчи.
00:10:57,340 --> 00:11:03,030 Взгляните на Тайную Вечерю. Обед Христа с его учениками, ночь перед ряспятием.
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,210 Какую еду вы видите на столе?
00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:07,160 Только хлеб...
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,950 Неужели? Посмотрите направо от Иисуса.
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,930 Еда немного другого цвета, чем остальная.
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:15,880 Вроде смахивает на...
00:11:16,490 --> 00:11:17,190 яйцо.
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:23,280 Да. Яйцо означает - секрет. Оно лежит прямо напротив святого Петра.
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:24,870 Кто такой, святой Пётр?
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:27,420 Он был апостолом, которого Иисус сделал первым папой.
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,040 Точно в желток.
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,950 Но есть кое-что, о чем не говорит церковь.
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:35,160 На самом деле святой Пётр не был человеком.
00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:37,030 Святой Пётр...
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:38,760 был зайцем.
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:41,560 Пётр - заяц.
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:47,580 Конечно, церковь не позволила Да Винчи изобразить Петра зайцем, поэтому он нарисовал его человеком, но оставил ключ.
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:48,810 Посмотрите поближе.
00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:50,530 Я не вижу.
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,220 Ещё ближе.
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,260 Да вроде обычный парень.
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,020 Посмотрите ЕЩЁ ближе.
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:04,960 С помощью лазерной технологии мы можем заглянуть под краску и увидеть то, что Да Винчи нарисовал на самом деле.
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,300 Это... святой Пётр.
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:13,300 Истинный папа христианства.
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:14,620 Я не верю.
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:17,170 Доказательства повсюду. Взгляните на головной убор папы.
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:19,970 В нём нет никакого смысла, за исключением того, что на самом деле он изготовлен...
00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:21,090 для зайца.
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,890 Но зачем Иисусу был нужен заяц во главе его церкви.
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:32,390 Иисус знал, что ни один человек не сможет проповедовать для всех одинаково. Человек может быть нетерпимым, а зайцы чисты.
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,330 Но католическая церковь скрыла правду, поставила человека у руля
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:41,440 и "Заячье общество для мужиков" разукрашивало яйца с тех пор, чтобы сохранить тайну росписи Да Винчи.
00:12:42,110 --> 00:12:44,680 Так значит... ватикан похитил отца Стэна?
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:57,240 Ты осмелился глумиться над господом, говоря людям, что святой Пётр был зайцем?
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,400 Ты чудовище! У тебя нет права носить этот головной убор!
00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:04,600 Попытки внушить людям, что святой Пётр - заяц, это богохульство!
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,760 Вы должны признать, что были не правы или гореть вам в аду!
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:12,420 Вот такие тупые высказываения и заставили Иисуса поставить зайца во главу церкви.
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,220 К сожалению, я не смог принести вам зайца, ваше святейшество, но они знают, где он!
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:21,400 Заяц, которого вы называете Снежком - угроза христианской церкви. Где он?!
00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:24,410 Я не знаю! А если бы и знал...
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:27,580 то наверное бы уже сказал, потому что мне уже надоело тут торчать.
00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:29,610 В комнату пыток его!
00:13:29,970 --> 00:13:32,720 Комнату пыток, эй, Билл, все эти...
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:36,190 пытки и ниндзя, всё это как-то не по-христиански.
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:40,200 Вы просили помощи у американской католической церкви, так дайте нам делать нашу работу.
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,010 Уведите его!
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:45,050 Нет! Нет, вы ублюдочные зайцененавистники! Не делайте этого!
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,600 Я не въехал. Зачем папе римскому держать моего отца в заложниках из-за Снежка?
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:57,830 Я верю, что Снежок - прямой потомок святого Петра и, соответственно, наследник папского трона.
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,470 Мистер Тибэг! Бегите!
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,230 Они нашли меня!
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,310 Мальчики, убирайтесь отсюда!
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:13,080 Направляйтесь в лес. Я попытаюсь задержать их.
00:14:13,860 --> 00:14:14,810 Проверьте наверху!
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,410 Наверху чисто! В кабинет!
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:28,680 Он тут!
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,110 Что это?
00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:32,110 САХАРНЫЕ ПТИЧКИ!!!
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,250 И что теперь?
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:47,020 Если мой отец у папы римского...
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,610 Я должен дать ему, что он хочет.
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,550 Неужели ты просто так отдашь Снежка?
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,390 А у меня есть выбор?! Не осталось никого, кто бы мог нам помочь!
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:55,920 Погоди...
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:57,890 если только...
00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,800 может и остался.
00:15:01,630 --> 00:15:02,470 А ну-ка подержи.
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:08,760 Иисус,
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,250 я знаю, мы не говорили уже давно
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:15,050 и я знаю, что каждое твоё появление заканчивается тем, что мы тебя как-то убиваем, но...
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:17,180 Я не знаю, что делать.
00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:19,410 И мне бы очень пригодилась твоя помощь.
00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:32,380 По-моему заяц только что нагадил мне на куртку.
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,080 В прямом эфире из Ватикана, наш репортаж о кануне пасхи.
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:44,380 Заканчивается великая суббота и в Ватикане наступает канун пасхи.
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,830 Тысячи людей приехали, чтобы услышать папу и отпраздновать воскрешение господне.
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:55,780 В этот канун пасхи папа также показывает свою великую милость тем, что готовит для бедных огромный котёл тушеной зайчатины.
00:15:57,670 --> 00:16:00,530 НЕЕЕТ! Нет! Не бросайте ме-
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:03,290 Билл, ты перегибаешь палку.
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:08,610 Ребёнок с зайцем, должен знать, что мы готовы убивать заложников, если он нам его не отдаст.
00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:11,770 Ваше святейшество, прибыло дитя вместе с зайцем.
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,060 Вот видите?
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:20,310 О, слава богу! Отдай им его, Стэн! Они собираются меня убить! Отдай им зайца!
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:21,940 Да, отдай!
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:26,520 Для начала, пообещайте, что не сделаете ему ничего плохого! И что отпустите всех заложников!
00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:28,120 Мы обещаем.
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,240 Мы клянёмся на кресте.
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:32,150 ПРОСТО ОТДАЙ ИМ ЗАЙЦА, СТЭН!!!
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,490 Так и быть.
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,840 Стэнли, что ты наделал? Я бы с гордостью погиб за этого зайца.
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:42,260 Ты сказал "отдай им его".
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,770 Нет! Не надо понимать всё так буквально!
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,110 За решётку их!
00:16:46,870 --> 00:16:47,910 Эй, чё за херня!
00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:50,500 Билл, заяц у нас, это всё что нам нужно.
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:55,230 Не будьте мягким, ваше святейшество! Эти "шлюхи" должны быть публично наказаны!
00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:56,970 Ты поклялся на кресте, жирдяй!
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,280 Да. Но к сожалению для вас...
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,330 их тут было два!
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,310 Этого следовало ожидать!
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:08,460 Билл, я не уверен, что в традициях христианства - обманывать людей.
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,790 ЭТО ТО, ЧЕГО ХОТЕЛ БЫ ХРИСТОС!
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,300 Кто ТЫ, чтобы так говорить?!
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:17,700 Этого...
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:18,730 не может быть.
00:17:19,270 --> 00:17:20,090 Иисус!
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:37,160 Иисус, мы думали, ты погиб. В Ираке.
00:17:37,830 --> 00:17:43,490 У меня есть возможность воскресать. Или вы забыли? Похоже, что вы забыли многое.
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,360 Иисус, ты услышал мои мольбы!
00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:47,810 Вообще-то я откликнулся на молитвы Ника Донована.
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,870 Опа, это я, КРУТО!
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:56,290 Вот почему я поставил зайца во главу церкви, Бенедикт! Потому что человека слишком легко ввести в заблуждение.
00:17:56,980 --> 00:18:01,030 Святой Пётр БЫЛ зайцем. И заяц должен быть папой.
00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:03,240 Убейте его!
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,060 ЧТО?!
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:06,160 Он идет против церкви. Он должен умереть!
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:10,450 Так, довольно, Билл. Я вполне уверен, что убивать иисуса - это не по-христиански.
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,080 Ты мягкотелый! Слабый! Ты не оставляешь мне выбора. Уведите их!
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:15,930 Что вы делаете?!
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,460 Я же папа римский!
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,920 Ты больше не сможешь служить Господу!
00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:23,070 Навечерие пасхи пройдет по плану!
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:28,430 Все члены "Заячьего общества" увидят, как умрёт их драгоценный спаситель!
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,310 В чём твоя проблема, мужик?!
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:33,820 Заприте двух этих евреев! Разберёмся с ними позже.
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:35,620 Нет! Нет!
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:42,160 Странный поворот событий произошёл в Ватикане: папа Бенедикт был смещён. И началась новая эпоха...
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:43,840 папы римского Билла Донахью.
00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:50,260 Дети мои! Эту пасху я начну с того, что увеличу содержание мяса в нашем блюде из зайчатины в 10 раз!
00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:54,610 Нет! Послушайте! Мы не зайцы!
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,260 Прости меня, Иисус.
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,060 Так мы точно не успеем выбраться, чтобы его остановить!
00:19:01,370 --> 00:19:02,740 Разве у тебя нет всяких крутых способностей?
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,580 Пока я смертен - нет. Только после смерти.
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,080 Постой. Точно.
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:09,950 У нас нет выбора, Кайл.
00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:12,030 Ты должен убить меня.
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:13,760 Чего??
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,010 Ткни меня этим!
00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:17,860 Если я умру, то смогу воскреснуть снаружи.
00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:20,580 Ни за что! Сделай это сам.
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,750 Самоубийство - грех. Вариант один, Кайл!
00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:27,840 Чувак, ты не догоняешь, я еврей. У меня есть проблемы с убийством Иисуса.
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:31,340 Просто сделай это побыстрее. Коли в шею. А я шустренько воскресну.
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,730 Не заставляй меня делать это.
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,020 Сын мой, у нас нет времени! МОЧИ!
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,920 Эрик Кртмэн никогда не сможет об этом узнать.
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,340 Я понял.
00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:41,430 И ещё, Кайл...
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:42,940 Христос воскресе.
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,490 Воистину воскресе.
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:00,560 ...Иисус?
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:06,100 Узрите, никогда больше не будет зайцев и крашеных яиц на пасху!
00:20:07,090 --> 00:20:08,400 Убейте зайца!
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:11,460 Прости, зайка.
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:14,190 Снежок!
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,330 Иисус?
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:25,870 Стойте! Этот заяц - священный посланник.
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,650 Да что ж ты никак не отвалишь?!
00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:31,750 Один человек не может быть голосом церкви!
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:38,990 Хорош богохульствовать! Теперь я папа римский! И это значит - я голос Бога!!!
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:42,810 Уже нет. Я увольняю тебя с этой должности.
00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:01,150 Так его, Иисус!
00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:21,680 Ваше святейшество, что нам сказать всему миру? Как нам стоит жить?
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,750 Он молчит.
00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:29,000 Да, как того и хотел Иисус.
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:35,390 Стэнли, я так горд за тебя. Ты много понял в эту пасху.
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,780 Ага. Я понял, что не надо задавать вопросов. Просто красить яйца и держать рот на замке.
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:39,930 Это мой парень.

00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,428 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,430 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:16,892 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,020 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:20,771 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,733 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,526 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,239 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,741 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:37,663 ♪ In my Easter bonnet ♪
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,790 ♪ With all the frills upon it ♪
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,667 ♪ I'll be the grandest lady ♪
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,587 ♪ In the Easter parade ♪
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,297 Look at that one, huh!
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,423 Half purple and half yellow
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,175 with a chickadee sticker.
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,469 I'm good.
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,304 Uh, can I ask a question?
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:54,555 Why do we do this?
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,059 Wha-what do you mean, "why do we do this"?
00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,351 It's Easter.
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,187 Right, so why do we color eggs?
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:06,484 Well, so that the Easter Bunny can hide them!
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,569 Yeah, but why?
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,488 Stanley, Easter celebrates the day
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,781 that Jesus was resurrected
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,616 after being crucified for our sins.
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:16,702 So we dip eggs in colored vinegar
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,120 and a giant rabbit hides them?
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,747 That's right.
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,749 You don't see the missed steps in logic with that?
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:22,958 Look, I'm just saying that
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,668 somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,087 and a giant bunny hiding eggs,
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,963 there seems to be a gap of information!
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:30,341 Stanley, just dye your God damn eggs!
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,383 I don't feel like coloring eggs!
00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:33,385 I don't get it!
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,054 What is wrong with him?
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,348 Well, he's just getting older, Randy.
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:38,974 Maybe he's figured out the Easter Bunny isn't real.
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,688 You know so little.
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,947 And I want a Valtor Soldier doll for Easter
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:54,865 and five Crash-and-Go R.C. cars.
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,742 Do you got that? Do you have that?!
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:57,993 Uh, don't you think that's--
00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,870 No, no, you don't ask me questions.
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,914 You are a rabbit, I am a human.
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,415 So if you don't bring me what I want for Easter,
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:05,501 I can fucking kill you.
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,378 Smile!
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,421 Bye, Easter Bunny!
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,549 Oh, my God.
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:12,716 All right, can you please explain to me
00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,510 what's going on? Huh?
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,845 What is the deal with the coloring the eggs
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,513 and you hiding them and all that?
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,807 What does that have to do with Jesus dying on the cross?
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,559 Is it symbolic?
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:22,935 Are you trying to reference something
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,520 that happened in biblical times?
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,397 Answer me!
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,357 Look, kid, I'm just a guy in a costume.
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,984 I know that.
00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,402 But I figure you must have some knowledge
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,237 of what Easter is about
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,530 if you're playing the Easter Bunny at the mall.
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,823 Easter's just Easter.
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,700 Just go with it, kid.
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,118 No, I'm not gonna just go with it!
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,912 I'm gonna find out what's behind all this!
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,747 I need a break-- can I have a break?
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,964 We have a problem.
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,133 Somebody's onto us.
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,094 Yeah, he's asking a lot of questions.
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,804 Only a matter of time before he finds out
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,472 what Easter's really about.
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,977 Yes, I understand what must be done.
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,312 Call the others.
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,562 Mom, Dad?!
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,857 Anybody home?!
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,360 Not now, Stanley, I'm on the toilet.
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:56,237 Dad, you gotta help me!
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,447 Hang on, I'm taking a crap.
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,366 Dad, there's Easter Bunnies chasing me!
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,326 What? They chased me from the mall!
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,661 I don't know what they want!
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:04,912 They're coming in!
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,497 Dad, open the door!
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,877 Dad?!
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,171 We need to talk, Stan.
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,258 It's okay, guys.
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:18,634 Randy?
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,511 Yeah, guess it turns out
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,638 the kid we're after is my son.
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,890 Oh!
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,185 Tell the Grand Hare everything is okay.
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,478 I'll take it from here.
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,149 I wanted to keep this from you, Stan.
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,734 I really wanted to wait until you were older,
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,487 but you just had to keep asking questions!
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,656 Why were those other rabbit guys chasing me?
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,907 We have to be careful
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,951 when we think somebody's on to us.
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,912 We are all part of a secret society, Stan.
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,873 A very ancient, very important society of men
00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,625 who follow the way of the rabbit
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,586 and protect the secret of the Easter Bunny.
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,797 We are called "The Hare Club for Men."
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,260 Does mom know about this?
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,720 Duh!
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:03,721 It's "The Hare Club for Men."
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,347 Chicks wouldn't understand.
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,807 I don't understand!
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,434 I belong to a secret society
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,561 that has been around for thousands of years.
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:12,980 Our identities have to be protected.
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:14,940 Could you take off the ears, please?
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,191 Stan, you don't seem to understand
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,318 how serious this is!
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,069 The secret of Easter that we protect
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,612 is something that could rock the foundation
00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,948 of the entire world.
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,533 So what is the secret of Easter?
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,410 I can't tell you.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,953 You have to be allowed into the society first.
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,123 But... But perhaps it's time.
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,587 I always knew this day would come,
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,423 when my son would be brought into the society.
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,216 Reminds me of the day I was brought in by my father.
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,259 Grandpa's in it too?
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,094 Of course.
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,471 Marshes have been in "The Hare Club for Men"
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,182 for generations, all the way back to the beginning.
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,725 Dad, do I have to wear this bag over my head
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,185 the entire time?
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,228 You aren't a member yet.
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,314 You can't know where our secret meetings take place.
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,566 We're going to a distant location,
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,277 an old building near a lake about 40 minutes away.
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,987 You mean the old Galvinston Lodge?
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,410 Damn it.
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,498 Hey, Charlie!
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,500 Hey, Bill! Evenin', Marcus!
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:15,793 Hey, look at you!
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,211 Hey, everybody.
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,965 Stan Marsh, welcome!
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,051 You must be very excited.
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,511 Must I?
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,679 There he is! There's my grandson!
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,139 Hi, Grandpa.
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,682 I'm proud of you, Billy.
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:31,975 Stan.
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,913 Attention, members.
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,165 Tonight, we determine if a new member
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,960 is worthy of protecting the secret.
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,171 Bring out... The rabbit.
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,550 ♪ Sanctum Peter cotium ♪
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,886 ♪ De-us en ri hunne-am ♪
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:12,975 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus reus domine ♪
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,978 ♪ In suus via tor-rei um ♪
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,440 ♪ Lepis en ei sa-anc-tum ♪
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:23,694 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus deus domine ♪
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,412 All hail the cute rabbit, snowball.
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,581 Hail, Snowball. Hail, Snowball. Hail, Snowball.
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:40,085 Stan Marsh, are you ready to hear the secret of Easter?
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,462 Yeah.
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,088 Are you sure, Son?
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,423 Once you hear the secret, you will be bound to
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:45,966 "The Hare Club for Men" forever.
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,593 Yeah, I wanna know already.
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,511 Very well.
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,723 At the last supper, Jesus Christ met with his 12 disciples.
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,057 It was there that--
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,270 They found us!
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,396 Protect Snowball!
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,064 Ahh!
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,113 They're everywhere!
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,331 Ow-- my arm!
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,665 Come on, we gotta go!
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,960 Agh!
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,004 Stan, take Snowball and get out of here!
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,088 Where am I supposed to go?
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:26,882 Just get outta here!
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,052 Huh!
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,845 Ooh!
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,722 Where is the rabbit?
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,067 Where are you taking us?
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,319 No, I'm not going anywhere!
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,195 Agh!
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:51,240 Jesus Christ!
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,201 Who did you give the rabbit to?
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,538 Oof!
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,789 Search the area!
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,666 The boy could not have gotten far!
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,167 Oh, no!
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,307 Help.
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,809 What happened?
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,435 My dad's in a rabbit-worshiping cult called
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,645 "The Hare Club for Men."
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,813 They protect the secret of Easter.
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,730 But before they said what it was,
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,023 they were attacked by ninjas
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:25,941 and put me in charge of Snowball.
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,779 I'm kind of finger-painting right now.
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,364 Dude, they took my dad away!
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,991 They even shot one of his fellow hares.
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,450 And now they're after me!
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,785 Do you know anything about Easter?
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,953 What is the connection between Jesus
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,038 and rabbits and colored eggs?
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,542 Dude, I'm Jewish, I have no idea.
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,050 Nelson!
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,679 Nelson, Nelson, say something.
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,347 My legs...
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,308 I think they're broken.
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,767 Nelson, do you know where we are?
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,102 Where did they take us?
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,687 Don't know.
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,522 We traveled for hours.
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,065 Kept blacking out.
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,406 You.
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,580 Hi, we'd like to speak to a Professor Teabag.
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,333 What is it in regard to?
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,251 The history of Easter.
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,961 Sorry, boys, it's a little late
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,797 for me to be giving lectures.
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,090 Please, do you know anything about
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,425 "The Hare Club for Men"?
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,180 The keepers?
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,182 The guardians of the secret?
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,516 My dad is in it.
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,185 This rabbit is too somehow.
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,269 Come on in.
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,816 "The Hare Club for Men" has been around for centuries.
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:54,529 One of its most famous members was Leonardo Da Vinci.
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,283 Behold "The Last Supper,"
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,077 the dinner Christ had with his disciples
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:03,080 the night before he was crucified.
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,540 What food do you see on the table?
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:06,667 Just bread.
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,251 Really?
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,003 Look to Jesus' right,
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,129 the food which is a little different color
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,799 than the others.
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,968 It kind of looks like an egg.
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,721 Yes, the egg marks the secret.
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,058 It lies directly in front of St. Peter.
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,726 Who was St. Peter?
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,978 He was the disciple that Jesus made into the first pope.
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,106 Eggs-actly.
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,858 But there's something the church didn't tell you.
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,903 In actuality, Peter wasn't a man at all.
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:39,491 St. Peter... Was a rabbit.
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,702 Peter Rabbit.
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,370 Of course, the church wouldn't allow Da Vinci
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:46,081 to paint Peter as a rabbit, so he painted him as a man,
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,457 but left clues.
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,292 Look closely.
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,544 I don't see it.
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:52,045 Look closlier.
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,673 He looks like a guy.
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,591 Look more closlier.
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,723 With laser technology we can look beneath the paint,
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,558 at the way Da Vinci originally painted it.
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:11,148 That is St. Peter.
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,775 The original pope of Christianity.
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,152 I don't believe it.
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,486 The proof is everywhere.
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,697 Look at the pope's hat-- it makes no sense.
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,242 Except that it was originally designed for a rabbit.
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,162 But why would Jesus want a rabbit to run his church?
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,122 Because Jesus knew no one man
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,499 could speak for everyone in a religion.
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,084 Men can be intolerant.
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,753 Rabbits are pure.
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,296 But the Catholic Church buried the truth,
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,089 put a man in charge,
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,508 and "The Hare Club for Men have been decorating eggs
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,011 ever since to keep the secret in Da Vinci's painting alive.
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,556 So the Vatican took Stan's dad?
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,484 You dare to mock God by telling people
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,152 St. Peter was a rabbit?
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,737 You monster!
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,572 You have no right to wear that hat!
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,492 Trying to tell people that St. Peter was a rabbit
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,243 is blasphemy!
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,413 You must admit you are wrong or burn in hell.
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,165 It's saying stupid things like that
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,959 that made Jesus want to put a rabbit in charge.
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,045 I'm sorry I couldn't bring you the rabbit, Your Holiness,
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,546 but they know where it is.
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,215 The rabbit you call Snowball
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,758 is a threat to Christ's church.
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,384 Where is the rabbit?
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,178 I don't know.
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,222 And even if I did know--
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:26,473 Well, I'd probably tell you
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,016 because I don't want to be here anymore.
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,601 Take him to be tortured.
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,811 Tortured?
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:34,189 But, Bill, all this torturing and ninjas--
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,358 it just doesn't seem very Christian.
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,610 You asked for the help of the American Catholic League.
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,153 Let us do our job.
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,530 Take him!
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,032 No, no, you bunny-hating bastards!
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,242 Don't do this!
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,745 I don't get it.
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,832 Why would the pope be holding my dad hostage for Snowball?
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,416 I believe Snowball must be
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,710 a direct descendant of St. Peter himself,
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,587 and therefore the true heir of the pope's throne.
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,511 Mr. Teabag, get out!
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,679 Agh!
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,305 They found me!
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,223 Boys, get out of here!
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,434 Head to the woods.
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,562 I'll try to buy you some time.
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,855 check upstairs!
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,650 Kitchen's clear!
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,026 Try the office!
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:28,994 In here!
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,496 What's that?
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,419 <i>Peeps</i>!
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,094 So what now?
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,846 If the pope has my dad,
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,056 I have to give him what he wants.
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,850 You aren't just gonna hand Snowball over?
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,226 What choice do I have?
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,562 There's nobody left who can help us!
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,147 Wait.
00:14:57,272 --> 00:15:00,901 Unless maybe there is.
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,527 Here, hold this.
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:12,454 Jesus, I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,413 and I know that every time you appear
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,457 we end up killing you somehow,
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,460 but... I don't know what to do
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,962 and I could really use your help.
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,223 I think the rabbit just crapped on my jacket.
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,311 Live from the Vatican,
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,356 it's our Easter vigil coverage.
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,691 As Holy Saturday comes to an end,
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,611 the Easter vigil at the Vatican begins.
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,529 Thousands have turned out to hear the pope
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,990 and celebrate the resurrection.
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,325 For this Easter vigil,
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,452 the pope is also showing his divine grace
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,330 by feeding the poor, with a massive rabbit stew.
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,167 No, no!
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,252 No, don't put-- agh!
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,213 Bill, this seems extreme.
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,798 The child who has the rabbit
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,841 has to know that we are willing to kill the hostages
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,802 if he doesn't hand it over.
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,513 Your Holiness, a child has arrived with the rabbit!
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,973 You see?
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394 Oh, thank God!
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,187 Hand it over, Stan, they're gonna kill me!
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,480 Give 'em the rabbit!
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,732 Yes, hand it over.
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:24,734 First, you have to promise you won't hurt it
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,569 and that you'll let everybody go.
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,154 We promise.
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,323 We swear it on the cross.
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,992 Just hand over the bunny, Stan!
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,411 Okay, fine.
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,873 Stanley, why did you do that?
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,917 I would have proudly died for that rabbit.
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,502 You said hand over the bunny!
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,879 No, that's is not the way we're remembering it!
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,006 Take them into custody!
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,757 Hey, what the hell?
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,010 Bill, we have the rabbit, it's all we need.
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:51,803 Don't be soft, Your Holiness!
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,889 These whores must be punished in front of everyone!
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,558 You swore on the cross, fatso!
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,851 Yeah.
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:01,187 Too bad for you it was a double-cross!
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,357 Aw, we should have seen that coming.
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,484 Bill, I'm not sure that double-crossing people
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,236 is very Christian.
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,822 It is what Christ would have wanted!
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,657 Who are you to say that?
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,872 It can't be.
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,540 Jesus! Jesus!
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,543 ♪ He is risen ♪
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,004 ♪ He is risen ♪
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:29,174 ♪ Let the voices sing his praises ♪
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,426 ♪ On this holy day ♪
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,054 ♪ He is risen ♪
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,931 Jesus, we thought you died in Iraq.
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,059 I have the power of resurrection.
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,852 Or have you forgotten?
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,271 You all seem to have forgotten a lot of things.
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,231 Jesus, you did answer my prayer.
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,650 Actually, I was answering the prayer of Nick Donovan.
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:49,778 Oh, that's me-- neat-o.
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,988 This is exactly why I put a rabbit in charge
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,990 of the church, Benedictus.
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:56,493 Because men are so easily led astray.
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,995 St. Peter was a rabbit.
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,663 And a rabbit should be pope.
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,084 Kill him. What?!
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,086 He goes against the church. He must die.
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,378 All right, that does it, Bill.
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,546 I'm pretty sure that killing Jesus
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,215 is not very Christian.
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,800 You are soft, weak.
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,051 You leave me no choice.
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,594 Take them!
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:15,637 What are you doing?!
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,555 I am the pope!
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,015 You are no longer able
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,975 to fulfill your duties to the Lord.
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,311 The Easter Vigil will go on as planned!
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,563 Every "Hare Club" member, young and old,
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,941 will watch as their precious savior dies.
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,984 What is your problem, guy?
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,070 Lock up those two Jews.
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,655 We'll deal with them later.
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,657 No, no!
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,118 A strange turn of events here at the Vatican.
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,537 Pope Benedictus has stepped down,
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,790 ushering the new era of Pope Bill Donahue.
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,417 My people, this Easter I am gonna start
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:49,838 by making our rabbit stew 10 times meatier!
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,342 No, listen, we aren't rabbits!
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,051 Oof!
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,264 Forgive me, Jesus.
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,141 We'll never get out in time to stop him!
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,892 Don't you have any super powers?
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:06,271 Not as a mortal, only in death.
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,106 Wait-- that's it.
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,233 We have no choice, Kyle.
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,402 You are going to have to kill me.
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,611 What?!
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,029 Stab me with this.
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,866 If I die, I can resurrect outside the bars.
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,410 No way! Do it yourself!
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,078 Suicide is blasphemy.
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,705 There's no choice here, Kyle.
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,790 Dude, you don't understand, I'm a Jew.
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,625 I have a few hang-ups about killing Jesus.
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,669 Just make it quick, through the neck.
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,422 I'll arise again immediately.
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:33,715 Don't make me do this.
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,841 My son, there is no time.
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,718 Do it!
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,469 Eric Cartman can never know about this.
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,555 I understand.
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,057 And, Kyle, Happy Easter.
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,143 Happy Easter, Jesus.
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:48,521 Agh, agh-agh!
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,034 Jesus?
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,661 Behold, no longer will Easter
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,372 be about bunnies and colored eggs!
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,249 Kill the rabbit!
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,837 Sorry, little bunny.
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,047 Snowball!
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,843 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,222 Jesus?
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,264 Stop!
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,808 That rabbit is of holy decent!
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,353 Why won't you go away?!
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:31,981 One man cannot be the voice of the church.
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,733 Enough of this blasphemy!
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,526 I am the pope now!
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,780 That means I am the voice of God!
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,198 Not anymore.
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,200 I'm removing you from your position.
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:49,290 Eehh!
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,000 Agh!
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,094 All right, Jesus!
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,934 ♪ Sanctum Peter cotium ♪
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:11,396 ♪ De-us en ri hunne-am ♪
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:15,233 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus reus domine ♪
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,529 Your Holiness, what should we tell the world
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,823 about how to run their lives?
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,952 It isn't saying anything.
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,496 Yes, just as Jesus intended it.
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,251 Stanley, I'm so proud of you.
00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,295 You have learned so very much this Easter.
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:37,171 Yeah, I've learned not to ask questions.
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,548 Just dye the eggs and keep my mouth shut.
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:39,841 That's my boy.
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:44,679 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus deus domine ♪

00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:00,020 1105 Fantastic Easter Special 1:17:24 15.06.2014
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,700 Все персонажи и события в этом шоу, даже те, которые основаны на реальных людях, являются полностью вымышленными.
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:05,000 Все известные голоса исполнены .. неудачно.
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Следующая программа содержит нецензурные выражения или оскорбления и вследствие чего эта передача не должна просматриваться кем-либо.
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000 Перевод Виктор Д. Эту богохульную серию смотреть тошно!
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,500 ♪ Я ухожу в Южный Парк, буду проводить своё время,
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:16,059 ♪ Дружелюбные лица везде, скромные люди без соблазна,
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:19,250 ♪ Я иду в Южный Парк, собираюсь оставить мои беды позади
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,722 ♪ Просторная парковка днём или ночью, люди, восклицающие: "Привет, сосед",
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,837 ♪ Я отправляюсь в Южный Парк, посмотрю, смогу ли я расслабиться
00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:29,352 ♪ Мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами, мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами,
00:00:29,352 --> 00:00:33,000 ♪ Так приходи в Южный Парк и встреть некоторых моих друзей.
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,810 Чудесная пасхальная история 1105
00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:45,051 ♪ В моей Пасхальной шапочке, со всеми оборками на ней, ♪ Я буду самой грандиозной дамой на Пасхальном параде.
00:00:45,071 --> 00:00:51,484 Посмотрите на вот это, а? Половина фиолетовая и половина жёлтая с наклейкой синички(?). Я хорош.
00:00:51,504 --> 00:00:59,276 - Э-э, могу я задать вопрос? Зачем мы делаем это? - Что.. что ты имеешь в виду, "Зачем мы делаем это?" Это Пасха!
00:00:59,296 --> 00:01:06,933 - Верно, и, зачем мы именно красим яйца? - Ну, таким образом Пасхальный кролик может спрятать их.
00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:15,424 - Да, но зачем? /- Стэнли, Пасха прославляет тот день, когда Иисус воскрес после того, как был распят за наши грехи.
00:01:15,444 --> 00:01:19,327 - Поэтому мы окунаем яйца в цветной уксус и гигантский кролик прячет их? /- Это верно.
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:26,100 Вы не видите ошибки в логике с этим? Ну, я просто говорю, что где-то между Иисусом, умирающем на кресте и гигантским кроликом,
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:30,361 прячущим яйца, кажется есть пропуск информации. - Стэнли, просто крась чёртовы яйца!
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:35,163 - Я не хочу красить яйца! Я не понимаю этого! - Что не так с ним?
00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:43,750 Ну, он просто растёт, Рэнди. Может быть, он понял, пасхальный заяц не существует.
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:50,594 Ты знаешь так мало!
00:01:50,614 --> 00:01:56,796 И я хочу куклу солдата Балтора на Пасху, и пять Crash'n'Go радиоуправляемых машинок, ты понял? У тебя есть такие?!
00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:59,975 - А, ты не думаешь, что.. - Нет, нет! Ты не задавай мне вопросы.
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:05,582 Ты кролик! Я человек. Так что если ты не принесёшь мне то, что я хочу на Пасху, я могу убить тебя!
00:02:05,602 --> 00:02:11,701 - Улыбайтесь! - Пока, Пасхальный кролик! - О, мой Бог.
00:02:11,721 --> 00:02:14,528 - Так, не мог бы ты, пожалуйста, объяснить мне, что происходит? - А?
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:20,392 Какая связь с окраской яиц и твоим прятанием их и всем этим? Как это связано со смертью Иисуса на кресте?
00:02:20,412 --> 00:02:26,293 Это символично? Ты пытаешься ссылаться на что-то, что произошло в библейские времена? Ответь мне!
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:30,158 - Смотри, малыш х, я пр.. я просто парень в костюме. - Я знаю, это!
00:02:30,178 --> 00:02:34,912 Но я полагаю, ты должен иметь некоторые знания о том, к чему Пасха, если ты играешь Пасхального зайца в торговом центре!
00:02:34,932 --> 00:02:39,020 - Пасха это просто Пасха. Просто, просто прими как есть, малыш. - Нет, я не собираюсь просто принимать как есть!
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:49,854 Я собираюсь выяснить, что стоит за всем этим! - Мне нужен перерыв. Могу я сделать перерыв?
00:02:49,874 --> 00:03:01,747 У нас есть проблема. Кто-то знает о нас. Да, он задаёт много вопросов. Только вопрос времени, когда он выяснит, что такое Пасха на самом деле.
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:14,767 Да, я понимаю, что должно быть сделано. Позвони другим.
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:54,615 - Мама? Папа? Есть кто дома? - Не сейчас, Стэнли, я в туалете.
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,401 - Папа! Ты должен помочь мне! - Подожди, я сру.
00:03:58,421 --> 00:04:01,094 - Папа! Тут Пасхальные кролики гонятся за мной! - Что?
00:04:01,095 --> 00:04:12,018 Они преследовали меня от торгового центра! Я не знаю, чего они хотят! Они входят! Папа, открой дверь! Папа?
00:04:12,038 --> 00:04:19,100 - Мы.. нужно поговорить, Стэн. В.. всё в порядке, ребята. - Рэнди?
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:25,374 - Да. Тут вышло, что тот парень, которого мы преследовали мой сын. - Ооо.
00:04:25,394 --> 00:04:33,963 Скажите Гранд Кролику, что всё в порядке. Я заберу его отсюда. Я хотел утаить это от тебя, Стэн.
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:38,493 Я на самом деле хотел дождаться, пока ты станешь старше, но.. Ты просто продолжал задавать вопросы!
00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:43,734 - Почему эти другие парни-кролики гонятся за мной? - Мы должны быть осторожны, когда мы думаем, что кто-то знает о нас.
00:04:43,754 --> 00:04:49,688 Мы все часть тайного общества, Стэн. Очень древняя, очень важная организация мужчин,
00:04:49,708 --> 00:05:00,402 которые идут по пути Кролика, и защищают тайну пасхального кролика. Мы называемся.. Кроличий клуб для мужчин.
00:05:00,422 --> 00:05:05,273 - Знает ли мама о этом? - О!, это Кроличий клуб для мужчин. Цыпочкам (детишкам) не понять.
00:05:05,293 --> 00:05:10,683 - Я не понимаю! - Я принадлежу к тайному обществу, которое просуществовало тысячи лет!
00:05:10,703 --> 00:05:14,933 Наши личности должны быть защищены! - Можешь, не мог бы ты, снять эти уши, пожалуйста?
00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:19,085 Стэн, ты, кажется, не понимаешь, как это серьёзно! Секрет Пасхи, который мы защищаем
00:05:19,105 --> 00:05:24,955 это то, что может покачнуть фундамент всего мира! - Так в чём же секрет Пасхи?
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:35,202 Я не могу сказать тебе. Ты должен быть принят в это общество сначала, но.. но, возможно,.. пора.
00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:41,766 Я всегда знал, что этот день придёт, когда мой сын будет принят в это общество. Напоминает мне о дне, когда я был принят моим отцом.
00:05:41,786 --> 00:05:44,206 - Дедушка в нём тоже? - Конечно.
00:05:44,226 --> 00:05:48,801 Марши были в Кроличьем клубе для мужчин несколько поколений. Всё время с основания.
00:05:48,821 --> 00:05:53,650 - Папа, должен ли я носить этот пакет на моей голове всё время? - Ты не член пока. Ты не можешь знать,
00:05:53,650 --> 00:06:00,702 где наши тайные встречи происходят. Мы едем в отдалённую местность, старое здание рядом с озером около 40 минут отсюда.
00:06:00,722 --> 00:06:13,182 - Ты имеешь в виду старую сторожку Галвестон? - Чёрт.
00:06:13,202 --> 00:06:15,157 - Привет Билл. - Добрый вечер Маркус.
00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:20,765 - Хе-хе эй, посмотри на себя! - Привет всем.
00:06:20,785 --> 00:06:25,651 - Стэн Марш, добро пожаловать! Ты, наверно, очень возбуждён. - Должен ли я?
00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:29,700 - Вот и он! Это мой внук! - Привет, дедушка.
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:42,077 - Я горжусь тобой, Билли. - Стэн.
00:06:49,949 --> 00:07:01,453 Внимание, члены! Сегодня мы определим достоин ли новый член охранять Тайну. Вынесите.. кролика.
00:07:01,473 --> 00:07:13,209 ♪ Sanctum Piter oteum, Deus ore uneum. ♪ Hippitus hoppitus reus homine.
00:07:13,229 --> 00:07:30,627 ♪ In suspiratoreum, lepus in re sanctum. ♪ Hippitus hoppitus Deus Domine.
00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:35,473 - Все приветствуйте милого кролика, Снежка! - Привет, Снежок.
00:07:35,493 --> 00:07:41,000 - Стэн Марш, готов ли ты услышать секрет Пасхи? - Да.
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:46,188 Ты уверен, сынок? Как только ты услышишь это секрет, ты будешь связан с Кроличьим клубом для мужчин навсегда.
00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:49,394 - Да, я хочу знать уже. - Очень хорошо.
00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:57,578 На Тайной Вечере Иисус Христос встретился со своими 12 учениками. Именно там..
00:07:57,598 --> 00:08:07,176 - Они нашли нас! - Защитим Снежка!
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:24,250 - Они повсюду! - Давай, мы должны идти! Стэн, бери Снежка и выбирайся отсюда!
00:08:24,263 --> 00:08:32,707 - Куда я должен идти? - Просто убирайся отсюда!
00:08:32,727 --> 00:08:42,986 Где кролик?
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:50,533 - Куда вы ведёте нас? - Нет! Я не пойду никуда!
00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:57,743 - Иисус Христос! - Кому ты отдал кролика?
00:08:57,763 --> 00:09:12,399 - Обыскать этот участок! Мальчик не мог забраться далеко! - О нет..
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:19,629 - Помоги. - Что случилось?
00:09:19,649 --> 00:09:23,400 Мой папа в кролико-поклонническом культе, называемом Кроличий Мужской клуб, они защищают тайну Пасхи,
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:28,730 но прежде, чем они сказали, что это было, на них напали ниндзя и назначили меня отвечать за Снежка.
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:33,000 - Я вроде рисую пальцами прямо сейчас. - Чувак, они забрали моего папу.
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,978 Они даже пристрелили одного из товарищей кроликов. И теперь они охотятся за мной!
00:09:35,979 --> 00:09:41,127 Знаешь ли ты что-нибудь о Пасхе? Какова связь между Иисусом и кроликами и крашеными яйцами?
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:51,194 Чувак, я еврей. Я понятия не имею.
00:09:51,214 --> 00:09:59,634 - Нельсон. Нельсон? Нельсон, скажи что-нибудь. - Мои ноги. Я.. я думаю, они сломаны.
00:09:59,654 --> 00:10:12,884 - Нельсон, ты знаешь, где мы находимся? Куда они забрали нас? - Не знаю. Мы ехали часы.. продолжал терять сознание..
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:18,694 Ты..
00:10:18,714 --> 00:10:25,000 - Привет, мы хотели бы поговорить с профессором Тибагом? - Это касается чего?
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:31,113 - Истории Пасхи. - Простите мальчики, немного поздно, чтобы я давал лекции.
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:40,671 - Пожалуйста? Знаете ли вы что-нибудь о Кроличьем Мужском клубе? - Хранители? Стражи секрета?
00:10:40,691 --> 00:10:47,279 - Мой папа в нём. Этот.. кролик тоже как-то. - Входите.
00:10:47,299 --> 00:10:56,870 Кроличий клуб для мужчин существует уже в течение столетий. Один из его самых известных членов был Леонардо да Винчи.
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:03,350 Вот Тайная вечеря. Ужин, который Христос провёл со своими учениками в ночь перед тем, как он был распят.
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:07,840 Какую пищу вы видите на столе? - Просто хлеб..
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:14,481 В самом деле? Посмотрите направо от Иисуса. Та еда, которая немного другого цвета, чем другая.
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:23,505 - Это отчасти похоже на.. яйцо. - Да. Яйцо означает секрет. Оно лежит прямо пред.. Святым Петром.
00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:27,561 - Кто такой Святой Пётр? - Он был учеником, которого Иисус сделал в первым папой.
00:11:27,581 --> 00:11:35,669 Ебстевственно. Но есть кое-что, что Церковь не говорит вам. В действительности, Пётр не был человеком вообще.
00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:41,663 Святой Пётр.. был кроликом. - Пётр Кролик.
00:11:41,683 --> 00:11:47,800 Конечно, Церковь не позволила да Винчи рисовать Петра как кролика, так он нарисовал его как человека, но оставил подсказки.
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,700 Посмотрите внимательно. - Я не вижу его.
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:55,000 - Посмотрите внимательнее. - Он похож на парня.
00:11:55,000 --> 00:12:08,074 Смотрите более внимательнее. Лазерной технологией мы можем посмотреть под краску, то, как да Винчи первоначально написал её.
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:15,021 Это.. Святой Пётр. Первоначальный Папа христианства. - Я в это не верю.
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:18,317 Доказательства есть везде. Посмотрите на Папину шапку. Это не имеет никакого смысла,
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:24,879 если только она не была первоначально создана.. для кролика. - Но почему Иисус хочет, чтобы кролик руководил его церковью?
00:12:24,899 --> 00:12:32,388 Потому что Иисус не знал ни одного человека, кто может говорить за всех в религии. Люди могут быть нетерпимыми, кролики чисты.
00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:38,501 Но католическая церковь похоронила правду, поставив человека у власти, и Кроличий клуб для мужчин красит яйца с тех пор,
00:12:38,502 --> 00:12:52,909 чтобы хранить тайну в живописи да Винчи живой. - Так.. Ватикан захватил папу Стэна?
00:12:52,929 --> 00:13:00,789 - Ты смеешь высмеивать Бога, говоря людям, что Св. Пётр был кролик? - Ты монстр! Вы не имеешь права носить эту шляпу!
00:13:00,809 --> 00:13:08,183 Пытаться говорить людям, что святой Пётр был кроликом это богохульство! Вы должны признать, что вы не правы или гореть в аду!
00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:12,491 Вот произнесение глупых вещей как это заставило Иисуса захотеть поставить кролика во главу.
00:13:12,511 --> 00:13:16,520 Жаль, что я не смог принести вам этого кролика, Ваше Святейшество, но они знают, где он находится!
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:21,516 Тот кролик, которого вы зовёте Снежок является угрозой для Церкви Христовой. Где этот кролик?
00:13:21,536 --> 00:13:28,175 Я не знаю! И даже если бы я знал.. Ну, я бы, вероятно, сказал вам, потому что я не хочу быть здесь больше.
00:13:28,195 --> 00:13:32,800 - Отведите его на пытки! - Пытать, а, но Билл.. Все это..
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:38,759 Пытки и ниндзя, он просто не кажется очень христианским. - Вы просили помощи у американской Католической лиги,
00:13:38,779 --> 00:13:47,937 дайте нам сделать нашу работу! Взять его! - Нет! Нет, вы кролико-ненавидящие ублюдки! Не делайте этого!
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:51,729 Я не понимаю. Зачем Папа удерживает моего папу в заложниках за Снежка?
00:13:51,749 --> 00:14:02,619 Я верю, что Снежок вероятно прямой потомок самого Святого Петра, и, следовательно, истинный наследник престола Папы.
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:07,500 - М-р Тибаг! Уходите! - Они нашли меня!
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:13,481 Мальчики, уходите отсюда! Направляетесь в лес! Я постараюсь 'выиграть' вам некоторое время.
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,000 Проверьте наверху!
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,500 зефир выглядывает
00:14:17,602 --> 00:14:44,015 - Наверху чисто! Проверьте кабинет! - Здесь! Что это? Вылезают!
00:14:44,035 --> 00:14:48,134 - И что теперь? - Если Папа держит моего папу..
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:51,521 Я должен дать ему то, что он хочет. - Ты же не собираешься просто передать Снежка?
00:14:51,541 --> 00:15:07,768 Какой у меня есть выбор? Тут никого не осталось, кто может помочь нам! Подожди.. Если только.. может быть, есть. Вот, держи его.
00:15:07,788 --> 00:15:15,923 Иисус, я знаю, мы не разговаривали долгое время и я знаю, каждый раз, когда ты появлялся, мы в итоге убивали тебя так или иначе, но..
00:15:15,943 --> 00:15:29,296 Я не знаю, что делать. И я мог бы действительно использовать твою помощь.
00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:34,248 Я думаю, что кролик только что насрал на мою куртку.
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:39,280 Прямое включение из Ватикана, это наша трансляция Пасхального бдения.
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:46,456 Так как Великая Суббота подходит к концу, Пасхальное бдение в Ватикане начинается. Тысячи вышли услышать Папу
00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:51,300 и отпраздновать Воскресение. Для этого Пасхального праздничного богослужения, Папа также демонстрирует
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:57,127 свою божественную благодать кормлением бедных огромным количеством тушёного мяса кролика.
00:15:57,147 --> 00:16:03,156 - Нет! Нет! Нет, не кидайте м.. - Билл, это кажется чрезвычайным.
00:16:03,176 --> 00:16:08,309 Ребёнок, который держит кролика должен знать, что мы готовы убить заложников, если он не передаст его.
00:16:08,329 --> 00:16:15,725 - Ваше Святейшество, ребёнок прибыл с кроликом! - Вы видите?
00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:20,147 О, слава Богу! Передай его, Стэн! Они собираются убить меня! Дай им кролика!
00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:24,735 - Да, передай его! - Во-первых, вы должны обещать, что вы не навредите ему!
00:16:24,755 --> 00:16:27,900 И что вы дадите всем уйти! - Мы обещаем.
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:32,156 - Мы клянёмся, на кресте. - Просто передай кролика, Стэн!
00:16:32,176 --> 00:16:38,551 - Ладно, хорошо. - Стэнли, почему ты это сделал?
00:16:38,571 --> 00:16:42,200 Я бы с гордостью умер за этого кролика. - Ты сказал: "Передай кролика."
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,326 - Нет! Это не так, как мы вспоминаем это! - Возьмите их под стражу!
00:16:46,346 --> 00:16:50,271 - Эй, какого чёрта! - Билл, у нас есть ZEH кролика, это всё что нам нужно.
00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:54,716 Не будьте мягким, Ваше Святейшество! Эти "шлюхи" должны быть наказаны на глазах у всех!
00:16:54,736 --> 00:17:02,192 - Ты поклялся на кресте, толстяк! - Да. Слишком плохо для вас.. это был двойной крест (обман)!
00:17:02,212 --> 00:17:08,228 - О, мы должны были это предвидеть! - Билл, я не уверен, что обманывать людей очень по-христиански.
00:17:08,248 --> 00:17:16,478 - Это то, чего Христос бы хотел! - Кто ты такой, чтобы говорить это?
00:17:16,498 --> 00:17:20,192 - Это.. быть не может. - Иисус! /- Иисус!
00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:34,001 ♪ Он воскрес. Он воскрес. ♪ Пусть голоса поют ему дифирамбы в этот святой день. ♪ Он воскрес!
00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:40,655 - Иисус, мы думали, что ты умер. В Ираке. - У меня есть сила воскресения. Или вы забыли?
00:17:40,675 --> 00:17:45,049 Вы все, кажется, забыли много вещей. - Иисус, ты ответил на мою молитву!
00:17:45,069 --> 00:17:49,739 - На самом деле, я отвечал на молитву Ника Донована. - Ооо, это я. Круто!
00:17:49,759 --> 00:17:56,326 Именно поэтому я поставил кролика во главе Церкви, Бенидикт! Потому что людей так легко ввести в заблуждение.
00:17:56,346 --> 00:18:03,100 Св. Пётр был кроликом. И кролик должен быть Папой. - Убейте его!
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,811 - Что?! - Он идет против Церкви. Он должен умереть!
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:10,107 Хорошо, достаточно, Билл. Я вполне уверен, что убийство Иисуса не очень по-христиански.
00:18:10,127 --> 00:18:17,285 - Ты добрый! Слабый! Ты не оставляешь мне выбора: арестовать их! - Что вы делаете?! Я Папа!
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:23,047 Ты больше не в состоянии выполнять свои обязанности к Господу! Пасхальное бдение будет продолжаться, как запланировано!
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:28,130 Каждый член Кроличьего клуба, молодой и старый, увидет, как их драгоценный Спаситель умирает!
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:33,778 - В чём твоя проблема, парень? - Заприте этих двух евреев! Мы разберёмся с ним позже.
00:18:33,798 --> 00:18:35,516 Нет! Нет!
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:43,802 Странный поворот событий здесь в Ватикане: Папа Бенедикт ушёл в отставку, возвестили новую эпоху.. Папы Билла Донохью.
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:51,367 Мои люди! Эту Пасху я начну, сделав нашего тушёного кролика в десять раз мясистее!
00:18:51,387 --> 00:18:58,847 - Нет! Слушайте! Мы не кролики! - Прости меня, Иисус.
00:18:58,850 --> 00:19:02,969 - Мы никогда не выйдем вовремя, чтобы остановить его! - Разве у тебя нет какой-либо суперсилы?
00:19:02,989 --> 00:19:12,876 Не, как у смертного. Только в смерти. Подождите. Вот оно. У нас нет выбора, Кайл. Тебе придётся убить меня.
00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:18,043 - Что? - Ударь меня этим. Если я умру, я смогу воскреснуть за решёткой.
00:19:18,063 --> 00:19:23,471 - Н-ни за что! Делай это сам. - Самоубийство это богохульство. Здесь нет выбора, Кайл!
00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:27,375 Чувак, ты не понимаешь, что я еврей. У меня есть несколько пунктиков об убийстве Иисуса.
00:19:27,395 --> 00:19:33,488 - Просто сделай это быстро. Сквозь шею. Я воскресну снова немедленно. - Не заставляй меня делать это.
00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:38,952 - Мой сын, нет времени. Делай это! - Эрик Картман никогда не сможет узнать об этом.
00:19:38,972 --> 00:20:01,072 - Я понимаю. И Кайл, счастливой Пасхи. - Счастливой Пасхи, Иисус. Иисус?
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:09,585 Смотрите, больше не будет Пасхи вокруг кроликов и крашеных яиц! Убить кролика!
00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:20,906 - Прости, маленький кролик. - Снежок!
00:20:20,926 --> 00:20:25,597 - Иисус? - Стойте! Это кролик святой родословной!
00:20:25,617 --> 00:20:31,722 - Почему бы тебе не уйти?! - Один человек не может быть голосом Церкви!
00:20:31,742 --> 00:20:38,746 Хватит этого богохульства! Я Папа сейчас! Это означает, что я глас Божий!
00:20:38,766 --> 00:20:59,393 - Нет больше. Я снимаю тебя с твоей должности. - Ура!
00:20:59,413 --> 00:21:04,462 Хорошо, Иисус!
00:21:04,482 --> 00:21:16,414 ♪ Sanctum Piter oteum, Deus ore uneum. ♪ Hippitus hoppitus reus homine.
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:25,594 Ваше Святейшество, что мы должны рассказать миру о том, как управлять своими жизнями? Он не говорит ничего.
00:21:25,614 --> 00:21:34,995 - Да, так, как Иисус замыслил его. - Стэнли, я так горжусь тобой. Ты узнал так очень много за эту Пасху.
00:21:34,996 --> 00:21:38,658 Да. Я научился не задавать вопросы. Просто красить яйца и держать свой рот закрытым.
00:21:38,678 --> 00:21:54,476 - Это мой мальчик. - ♪ Hippitus hoppitus Deus Domine.
00:22:14,146 --> 00:22:14,156 .

00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,428 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,430 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:16,892 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,020 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:20,771 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,733 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,526 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,904 ♪ ( mumbling ) ♪
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,239 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,741 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:37,663 ( randy ) ♪ In my Easter bonnet ♪
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,790 ♪ With all the frills upon it ♪
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,667 ♪ I'll be the grandest lady ♪
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,587 ♪ In the Easter parade ♪
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,297 Look at that one, huh!
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,423 Half purple and half yellow
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,175 with a chickadee sticker.
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,469 I'm good.
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,304 Uh, can I ask a question?
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:54,555 Why do we do this?
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,059 Wha-what do you mean, "why do we do this"?
00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,351 It's Easter.
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,187 Right, so why do we color eggs?
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:06,484 Well, so that the Easter Bunny can hide them!
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,569 Yeah, but why?
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,488 Stanley, Easter celebrates the day
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,781 that Jesus was resurrected
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,616 after being crucified for our sins.
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:16,702 So we dip eggs in colored vinegar
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,120 and a giant rabbit hides them?
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,747 That's right.
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,749 You don't see the missed steps in logic with that?
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:22,958 Look, I'm just saying that
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,668 somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,087 and a giant bunny hiding eggs,
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,963 there seems to be a gap of information!
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:30,341 Stanley, just dye your God damn eggs!
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,383 I don't feel like coloring eggs!
00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:33,385 I don't get it!
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,054 What is wrong with him?
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,348 Well, he's just getting older, Randy.
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:38,974 Maybe he's figured out the Easter Bunny isn't real.
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:41,769 ( clattering )
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,688 You know so little.
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,947 And I want a Valtor Soldier doll for Easter
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:54,865 and five Crash-and-Go R.C. cars.
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,742 Do you got that? Do you have that?!
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:57,993 Uh, don't you think that's--
00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,870 No, no, you don't ask me questions.
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,914 You are a rabbit, I am a human.
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,415 So if you don't bring me what I want for Easter,
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:05,501 I can fucking kill you.
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,378 Smile!
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,421 Bye, Easter Bunny!
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,549 Oh, my God.
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:12,716 All right, can you please explain to me
00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,510 what's going on? Huh?
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,845 What is the deal with the coloring the eggs
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,513 and you hiding them and all that?
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,807 What does that have to do with Jesus dying on the cross?
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,559 Is it symbolic?
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:22,935 Are you trying to reference something
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,520 that happened in biblical times?
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,397 Answer me!
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,357 Look, kid, I'm just a guy in a costume.
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,984 I know that.
00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,402 But I figure you must have some knowledge
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,237 of what Easter is about
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,530 if you're playing the Easter Bunny at the mall.
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,823 Easter's just Easter.
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,700 Just go with it, kid.
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,118 No, I'm not gonna just go with it!
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,912 I'm gonna find out what's behind all this!
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,747 I need a break-- can I have a break?
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,964 We have a problem.
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,133 Somebody's onto us.
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,094 Yeah, he's asking a lot of questions.
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,804 Only a matter of time before he finds out
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,472 what Easter's really about.
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,977 Yes, I understand what must be done.
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,312 Call the others.
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,049 ( tires screeching )
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:48,562 Mom, Dad?!
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,857 Anybody home?!
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,360 ( Randy ) Not now, Stanley, I'm on the toilet.
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:56,237 Dad, you gotta help me!
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,447 Hang on, I'm taking a crap.
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,366 Dad, there's Easter Bunnies chasing me!
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,326 What? They chased me from the mall!
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,661 I don't know what they want!
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:04,912 They're coming in!
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,497 Dad, open the door!
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,877 Dad?!
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,171 We need to talk, Stan.
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,258 It's okay, guys.
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:18,634 Randy?
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,511 Yeah, guess it turns out
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,638 the kid we're after is my son.
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,890 Oh!
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,185 Tell the Grand Hare everything is okay.
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,478 I'll take it from here.
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,149 I wanted to keep this from you, Stan.
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,734 I really wanted to wait until you were older,
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,487 but you just had to keep asking questions!
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,656 Why were those other rabbit guys chasing me?
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,907 We have to be careful
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,951 when we think somebody's on to us.
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,912 We are all part of a secret society, Stan.
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,873 A very ancient, very important society of men
00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,625 who follow the way of the rabbit
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,586 and protect the secret of the Easter Bunny.
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,797 We are called "The Hare Club for Men."
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,260 Does mom know about this?
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,720 Duh!
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:03,721 It's "The Hare Club for Men."
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,347 Chicks wouldn't understand.
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,807 I don't understand!
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,434 I belong to a secret society
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,561 that has been around for thousands of years.
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:12,980 Our identities have to be protected.
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:14,940 Could you take off the ears, please?
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,191 Stan, you don't seem to understand
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,318 how serious this is!
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,069 The secret of Easter that we protect
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,612 is something that could rock the foundation
00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,948 of the entire world.
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,533 So what is the secret of Easter?
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,410 I can't tell you.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,953 You have to be allowed into the society first.
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,123 But... But perhaps it's time.
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,587 I always knew this day would come,
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,423 when my son would be brought into the society.
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,216 Reminds me of the day I was brought in by my father.
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,259 Grandpa's in it too?
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,094 Of course.
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,471 Marshes have been in "The Hare Club for Men"
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,182 for generations, all the way back to the beginning.
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,725 Dad, do I have to wear this bag over my head
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,185 the entire time?
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,228 You aren't a member yet.
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,314 You can't know where our secret meetings take place.
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,566 We're going to a distant location,
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,277 an old building near a lake about 40 minutes away.
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,987 You mean the old Galvinston Lodge?
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,410 Damn it.
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,498 Hey, Charlie!
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,500 Hey, Bill! Evenin', Marcus!
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:15,793 Hey, look at you!
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,211 Hey, everybody.
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,965 Stan Marsh, welcome!
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,051 You must be very excited.
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,511 Must I?
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,679 There he is! There's my grandson!
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,139 Hi, Grandpa.
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,682 I'm proud of you, Billy.
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:31,975 Stan.
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,152 ( ding )
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,616 ( ding )
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:50,869 ( gavel knocking )
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,913 ( man ) Attention, members.
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,165 Tonight, we determine if a new member
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,960 is worthy of protecting the secret.
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,171 Bring out... The rabbit.
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,550 ( all ) ♪ Sanctum Peter cotium ♪
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,886 ♪ De-us en ri hunne-am ♪
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:12,975 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus reus domine ♪
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,978 ♪ In suus via tor-rei um ♪
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,440 ♪ Lepis en ei sa-anc-tum ♪
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:23,694 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus deus domine ♪
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,412 All hail the cute rabbit, snowball.
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,581 Hail, Snowball. Hail, Snowball. Hail, Snowball.
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:40,085 Stan Marsh, are you ready to hear the secret of Easter?
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,462 Yeah.
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,088 Are you sure, Son?
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,423 Once you hear the secret, you will be bound to
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:45,966 "The Hare Club for Men" forever.
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,593 Yeah, I wanna know already.
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,511 Very well.
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,723 At the last supper, Jesus Christ met with his 12 disciples.
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,057 It was there that--
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,270 They found us!
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,396 Protect Snowball!
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,064 Ahh!
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,113 They're everywhere!
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,331 Ow-- my arm!
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,665 Come on, we gotta go!
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,960 Agh!
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,004 Stan, take Snowball and get out of here!
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,088 Where am I supposed to go?
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:26,882 Just get outta here!
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,052 Huh!
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,845 Ooh!
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,722 Where is the rabbit?
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,067 Where are you taking us?
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,319 No, I'm not going anywhere!
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,195 Agh!
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:51,240 Jesus Christ!
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,201 Who did you give the rabbit to?
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,538 Oof!
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,789 Search the area!
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,666 The boy could not have gotten far!
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,167 Oh, no!
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,217 ( doorbell ringing )
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,430 ( huffing )
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,307 Help.
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,809 What happened?
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,435 My dad's in a rabbit-worshiping cult called
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,645 "The Hare Club for Men."
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,813 They protect the secret of Easter.
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,730 But before they said what it was,
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,023 they were attacked by ninjas
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:25,941 and put me in charge of Snowball.
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,779 I'm kind of finger-painting right now.
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,364 Dude, they took my dad away!
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,991 They even shot one of his fellow hares.
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,450 And now they're after me!
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,785 Do you know anything about Easter?
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,953 What is the connection between Jesus
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,038 and rabbits and colored eggs?
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:43,542 Dude, I'm Jewish, I have no idea.
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,046 ( coughing )
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,050 Nelson!
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,679 Nelson, Nelson, say something.
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,347 My legs...
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,308 I think they're broken.
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,767 Nelson, do you know where we are?
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,102 Where did they take us?
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,687 Don't know.
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,522 We traveled for hours.
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,065 Kept blacking out.
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,651 ( coughing )
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,406 You.
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,580 Hi, we'd like to speak to a Professor Teabag.
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,333 What is it in regard to?
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,251 The history of Easter.
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,961 Sorry, boys, it's a little late
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,797 for me to be giving lectures.
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,090 Please, do you know anything about
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,425 "The Hare Club for Men"?
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,180 The keepers?
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,182 The guardians of the secret?
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,516 My dad is in it.
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,185 This rabbit is too somehow.
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,269 Come on in.
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,816 "The Hare Club for Men" has been around for centuries.
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:54,529 One of its most famous members was Leonardo Da Vinci.
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,283 Behold "The Last Supper,"
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,077 the dinner Christ had with his disciples
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:03,080 the night before he was crucified.
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,540 What food do you see on the table?
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:06,667 Just bread.
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,251 Really?
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,003 Look to Jesus' right,
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,129 the food which is a little different color
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,799 than the others.
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,968 It kind of looks like an egg.
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,721 Yes, the egg marks the secret.
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,058 It lies directly in front of St. Peter.
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,726 Who was St. Peter?
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,978 He was the disciple that Jesus made into the first pope.
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,106 Eggs-actly.
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:31,858 But there's something the church didn't tell you.
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,903 In actuality, Peter wasn't a man at all.
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:39,491 St. Peter... Was a rabbit.
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,702 Peter Rabbit.
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,370 Of course, the church wouldn't allow Da Vinci
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:46,081 to paint Peter as a rabbit, so he painted him as a man,
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,457 but left clues.
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,292 Look closely.
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,544 I don't see it.
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:52,045 Look closlier.
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,673 He looks like a guy.
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,591 Look more closlier.
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,723 With laser technology we can look beneath the paint,
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,558 at the way Da Vinci originally painted it.
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:11,148 That is St. Peter.
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,775 The original pope of Christianity.
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,152 I don't believe it.
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,486 The proof is everywhere.
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,697 Look at the pope's hat-- it makes no sense.
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,242 Except that it was originally designed for a rabbit.
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,162 But why would Jesus want a rabbit to run his church?
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,122 Because Jesus knew no one man
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,499 could speak for everyone in a religion.
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,084 Men can be intolerant.
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,753 Rabbits are pure.
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,296 But the Catholic Church buried the truth,
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,089 put a man in charge,
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,508 and "The Hare Club for Men have been decorating eggs
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,011 ever since to keep the secret in Da Vinci's painting alive.
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,556 So the Vatican took Stan's dad?
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,143 ( thunder rumbling )
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,484 You dare to mock God by telling people
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,152 St. Peter was a rabbit?
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,737 You monster!
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,572 You have no right to wear that hat!
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,492 Trying to tell people that St. Peter was a rabbit
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,243 is blasphemy!
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,413 You must admit you are wrong or burn in hell.
00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,165 It's saying stupid things like that
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,959 that made Jesus want to put a rabbit in charge.
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,045 I'm sorry I couldn't bring you the rabbit, Your Holiness,
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,546 but they know where it is.
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,215 The rabbit you call Snowball
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,758 is a threat to Christ's church.
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,384 Where is the rabbit?
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,178 I don't know.
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,222 And even if I did know--
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:26,473 Well, I'd probably tell you
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,016 because I don't want to be here anymore.
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,601 Take him to be tortured.
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,811 Tortured?
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:34,189 But, Bill, all this torturing and ninjas--
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,358 it just doesn't seem very Christian.
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,610 You asked for the help of the American Catholic League.
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,153 Let us do our job.
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,530 Take him!
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,032 No, no, you bunny-hating bastards!
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,242 Don't do this!
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,745 I don't get it.
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,832 Why would the pope be holding my dad hostage for Snowball?
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,416 I believe Snowball must be
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,710 a direct descendant of St. Peter himself,
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,587 and therefore the true heir of the pope's throne.
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,511 Mr. Teabag, get out!
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,679 Agh!
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,305 They found me!
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,223 Boys, get out of here!
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,434 Head to the woods.
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,562 I'll try to buy you some time.
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,855 ( ninja ) check upstairs!
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,650 ( ninja ) Kitchen's clear!
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,026 Try the office!
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,199 ( microwave beeping )
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:28,994 In here!
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,496 What's that?
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,248 ( beeping )
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,419 <i>Peeps</i>!
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,094 So what now?
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,846 If the pope has my dad,
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,056 I have to give him what he wants.
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,850 You aren't just gonna hand Snowball over?
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,226 What choice do I have?
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,562 There's nobody left who can help us!
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,147 Wait.
00:14:57,272 --> 00:15:00,901 Unless maybe there is.
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,527 Here, hold this.
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:12,454 Jesus, I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,413 and I know that every time you appear
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,457 we end up killing you somehow,
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,460 but... I don't know what to do
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,962 and I could really use your help.
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,223 I think the rabbit just crapped on my jacket.
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,311 ( announcer ) Live from the Vatican,
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,356 it's our Easter vigil coverage.
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,691 As Holy Saturday comes to an end,
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,611 the Easter vigil at the Vatican begins.
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,529 Thousands have turned out to hear the pope
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,990 and celebrate the resurrection.
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,325 For this Easter vigil,
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,452 the pope is also showing his divine grace
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,330 by feeding the poor, with a massive rabbit stew.
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,167 No, no!
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,252 No, don't put-- agh!
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,213 Bill, this seems extreme.
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,798 The child who has the rabbit
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,841 has to know that we are willing to kill the hostages
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,802 if he doesn't hand it over.
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,513 Your Holiness, a child has arrived with the rabbit!
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,973 You see?
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394 Oh, thank God!
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,187 Hand it over, Stan, they're gonna kill me!
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,480 Give 'em the rabbit!
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,732 Yes, hand it over.
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:24,734 First, you have to promise you won't hurt it
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,569 and that you'll let everybody go.
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:28,154 We promise.
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,323 We swear it on the cross.
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,992 Just hand over the bunny, Stan!
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:34,411 Okay, fine.
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,873 Stanley, why did you do that?
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,917 I would have proudly died for that rabbit.
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,502 You said hand over the bunny!
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,879 No, that's is not the way we're remembering it!
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,006 Take them into custody!
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,757 Hey, what the hell?
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,010 Bill, we have the rabbit, it's all we need.
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:51,803 Don't be soft, Your Holiness!
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,889 These whores must be punished in front of everyone!
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,558 You swore on the cross, fatso!
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,851 Yeah.
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:01,187 Too bad for you it was a double-cross!
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,647 ( laughing )
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,357 Aw, we should have seen that coming.
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,484 Bill, I'm not sure that double-crossing people
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,236 is very Christian.
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,822 It is what Christ would have wanted!
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,657 ( man ) Who are you to say that?
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,872 It can't be.
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,540 Jesus! Jesus!
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,543 ♪ He is risen ♪
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,004 ♪ He is risen ♪
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:29,174 ♪ Let the voices sing his praises ♪
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,426 ♪ On this holy day ♪
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,054 ♪ He is risen ♪
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,931 Jesus, we thought you died in Iraq.
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,059 I have the power of resurrection.
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,852 Or have you forgotten?
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,271 You all seem to have forgotten a lot of things.
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,231 Jesus, you did answer my prayer.
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,650 Actually, I was answering the prayer of Nick Donovan.
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:49,778 Oh, that's me-- neat-o.
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,988 This is exactly why I put a rabbit in charge
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,990 of the church, Benedictus.
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:56,493 Because men are so easily led astray.
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,995 St. Peter was a rabbit.
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,663 And a rabbit should be pope.
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,084 Kill him. What?!
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,086 He goes against the church. He must die.
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,378 All right, that does it, Bill.
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,546 I'm pretty sure that killing Jesus
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,215 is not very Christian.
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,800 You are soft, weak.
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,051 You leave me no choice.
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,594 Take them!
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:15,637 What are you doing?!
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,555 I am the pope!
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,015 You are no longer able
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,975 to fulfill your duties to the Lord.
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,311 The Easter Vigil will go on as planned!
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,563 Every "Hare Club" member, young and old,
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,941 will watch as their precious savior dies.
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,984 What is your problem, guy?
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,070 Lock up those two Jews.
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,655 We'll deal with them later.
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,657 No, no!
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,118 A strange turn of events here at the Vatican.
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,537 Pope Benedictus has stepped down,
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,790 ushering the new era of Pope Bill Donahue.
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,417 My people, this Easter I am gonna start
00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:49,838 by making our rabbit stew 10 times meatier!
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,840 ( cheering )
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,342 No, listen, we aren't rabbits!
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,051 Oof!
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,264 Forgive me, Jesus.
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,141 We'll never get out in time to stop him!
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,892 Don't you have any super powers?
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:06,271 Not as a mortal, only in death.
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,106 Wait-- that's it.
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,233 We have no choice, Kyle.
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,402 You are going to have to kill me.
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,611 What?!
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,029 Stab me with this.
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,866 If I die, I can resurrect outside the bars.
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,410 No way! Do it yourself!
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,078 Suicide is blasphemy.
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,705 There's no choice here, Kyle.
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,790 Dude, you don't understand, I'm a Jew.
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,625 I have a few hang-ups about killing Jesus.
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,669 Just make it quick, through the neck.
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,422 I'll arise again immediately.
00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:33,715 Don't make me do this.
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,841 My son, there is no time.
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,718 Do it!
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,469 Eric Cartman can never know about this.
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,555 I understand.
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,057 And, Kyle, Happy Easter.
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,143 Happy Easter, Jesus.
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:48,521 Agh, agh-agh!
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:52,150 ( groaning )
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,034 Jesus?
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,661 Behold, no longer will Easter
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,372 be about bunnies and colored eggs!
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,249 Kill the rabbit!
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,837 Sorry, little bunny.
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,047 Snowball!
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,843 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,222 Jesus?
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,264 Stop!
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,808 That rabbit is of holy decent!
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,353 Why won't you go away?!
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:31,981 One man cannot be the voice of the church.
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,733 Enough of this blasphemy!
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,526 I am the pope now!
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,780 That means I am the voice of God!
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,198 Not anymore.
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,200 I'm removing you from your position.
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:49,290 Eehh!
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,000 Agh!
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,384 ( cheering )
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,094 All right, Jesus!
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,721 ( church bells ringing )
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,934 ♪ Sanctum Peter cotium ♪
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:11,396 ♪ De-us en ri hunne-am ♪
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:15,233 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus reus domine ♪
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,529 Your Holiness, what should we tell the world
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,823 about how to run their lives?
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:25,952 It isn't saying anything.
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,496 Yes, just as Jesus intended it.
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,251 Stanley, I'm so proud of you.
00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,295 You have learned so very much this Easter.
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:37,171 Yeah, I've learned not to ask questions.
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:38,548 Just dye the eggs and keep my mouth shut.
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:39,841 That's my boy.
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:44,679 ♪ Hippitus hoppitus deus domine ♪

Скриншоты

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 1

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 2

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 3

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 4

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 5

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 6

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 7

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 8

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 9

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 10

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 11

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 12

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 13

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 14

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 15

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 16

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 17

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 18

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 19

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 20

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 21

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 22

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 23

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 24

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 25

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 26

Чудесная пасхальная история — скриншот 27