Мандомба

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Замечания и советы в ПМ на http://southpark.org.ru/forum/

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Добрый день, ребята, рассаживайтесь по местам.

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Постарайтесь быть милыми, потому что сегодня к нам присоединяется новый ученик.

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И я уверена, вы примете его хорошо.

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Скажите "Привет... Бахир Хасан Абдул Хаким!"

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Добро пожаловать в наш класс, Бахир!

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Спасибо.

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Чувак, чувак! НЕ КРУТО!

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Почему бы тебе не сесть за парту Кайла, пока он отсутствует.

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ОК

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Эрик, какого чёрта! Что с тобой не так?

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Что не так?

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Его проверили? У него нет бомбы?

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Эрик, хватит! Не все мусульмане террористы!

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Не все, но большинство из них. И всё что требуется - это большинство.

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Твоя очередь, Бахир!

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Да...

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Кайл, ты за компом?

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Че? Нет, я болею.

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Лезь в инет. Мне надо, чтобы ты кое что проверил.

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Оставь меня в покое.

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Кайл! Всем нашим друзьям, возможно, угрожает большая опасность.

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Что? Почему?

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Быстро в инет!

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Хорошо, хорошо.

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Зайди на MySpace

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Посмотри, есть ли там страница Бихира Хакима.

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Ба-хир Ха-ким. Родился в Чикаго, восемь лет, любимый цвет - зелёный.

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Картмэн, к чему всё это?

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Кайл, проверь список его друзей. Сколько их там?

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Больше сотни.

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Глянь внизу страницы, есть там его любимая группа?

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White Stripes

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Забавно.

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Что?

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Сегодня в классе он сказал всем, что это Blink 182.

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Действие происходит между сортиром и классом географии.

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Алло...

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Офицер Барбрэди, начальная школа Саус Парка под угрозой!

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Под какой угрозой? Кто это?

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Слова одного мусульманина не совпадают с данными его страницы на MySpace. Вы должны вывести людей, сейчас же!

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Вы серьёзно?

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Если бы это было не серьёзно, говорил бы я так?

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Как?

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Шепотом, но очень громким шепотом - для пущего драматизма.

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Ооо, Иисус!

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Что за чёрт?

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Всем учащимся! Немедленно покинуть школу!!!

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Эй, Бахир! Раз уж нас отпустили, может пойдем ко мне? Поиграем в шашки?

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Давай.

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Класс!

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Ёпт.

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Да.

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Чувак, я только что получил сообщение от Стэна об эвакуации в школе.

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Ну теперь-то ты веришь? Что-то происходит!

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Похоже на то...

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И все-таки, что-то не клеится.

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Что именно?

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Зачем террористам взрывать школу? Это не главная их цель. Если только...

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Бог ты мой!

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Если только это не отвлечение внимания.

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Кайл, найди в Google Торговую Палату Саус Парка.

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Ок.

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Там должна быть информация о событиях. Будет сегодня в городе что-то серьёзное?

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Да, есть кое-что.

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Что?

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Выступление Хиллари Клинтон в рамках предвыборной кампании.

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Картмэн? Картмэн???

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Сэр! Звонит кто-то и предупреждает о готовящемся покушении на Хиллари Клинтон.

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Что?

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Это глава ЦРУ, Аллан Томпсон.

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Мистер Томпсон, вы должны отменить выступление. В Саус Парке террорист.

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Что вам известно?

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Он просто появился тут...Мне нужно поговорить с президентом.

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Я глава ЦРУ! Говорите мне.

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Я сказал! Я буду говорить только с президентом!!!

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Послушайте, если у вас есть данные об угрозе? вы може-

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Я могу вас арестовать!

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Я ничего не слышу! Только президент!

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Вам звонят, господин президент.

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Ало?

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Президент Буш, это Эрик Картмэн. Линия защищена?

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Ааа? Кто?

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Ладно, я знаю, вы не большой поклонник ХиллДог... Но она сейчас в большой беде.

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ХиллДог?

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Да, я понимаю. Да, сообщу Мисс Клинтон.

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Что такое, Брайн?

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Мисс Клинтон, мы только что получили сообщение о возможном терракте во время вашего выступления.

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Угроза серьёзная?

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Мы не уверены, но наверное лучше всё отменить.

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Нет! И нет! Меня не запугать угрозами террористов!

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Ваши люди хорошо работают, Брайн. Уверена, об угрозе позаботятся.

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Мы достигли места сбора, ХиллДог.

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Не беспокойтесь, миссис Клинтон. Всё будет отлично.

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Спасибо, Крис.

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Они знают о бомбе!

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Это невозможно! Мы все просчитали так, чтобы её не было видно!

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Кто-то стукнул в ЦРУ. Не знаю, много ли им известно, но охрана предупреждена.

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Эта бомба должна доехать вместе с Клинтон до Бостона.

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Никаких шансов. Все раскроется. Это лишь вопрос времени.

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Значит у нас нет выбора. Надо перенести атаку.

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Я понимаю, комрад.

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Готовьтесь. Мы взорвём бомбу в течении часа!

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Кайл, я на митинге. Но этого пацана не видно.

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Так может ты ошибся?

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Нет, я не ошибся. Скорее всего он как-то дистанционно управляет всем этим из своего дома. Ты нашел адрес?

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Да, я сопоставил его страницу на MySpace с данными realtor.com. Его родители перехали в тот зеленый дом на улице Janice.

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Боже,это же на другом конце города. Так, Кайл, я собираюсь сделать фото мобильником и залить тебе. Готов?

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Ага.

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Что это?

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Это мои яйца!!!

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Чтоб тебя, Картмэн!

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Ладно, ладно. Кайл, давай сосредоточимся.

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Жители Саус Парка. Для меня большая честь представить вам женщину, которая не заслуживает ничего кроме уважения.

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Миссис Хиллари Родхэм Клинтон!

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Это так замечательно. Вернуться в маленький городок, такой же из какого я родом.

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ХиллДог!

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Отис Грин, есть что-нибудь насчет бомбы?

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У нас тут специально обученная свинья. Прочесываем толпу, если взрывчатка есть - она найдет.

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Почему я выступаю в маленьких городах, таких, как этот?

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Потому что именно в таких местах, как Саус Парк, можно найти настоящую Америку!

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О мой бог! Она взяла след!

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Что??

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Свинья нашла следы радиации! Террористы действительно ЗАЛОЖИЛИ бомбу!

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Боже мой! Куда они могли её спрятать?

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Давай, ищи! Ищи!

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Неужели под сценой?

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Нет, погодите-ка...

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Сколько можно тратить деньги в пустую, когда мы должны фокусировать всё своё внимание на...

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...на образовании наших...

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...на образовании наших детей!

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Оох, я настаиваю!

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Господи! Ты думаешь, они могли спрятать ядерное устройство у миссис Клинтон в...

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Мистер Томпсон! Этот пацан, который сообщил об угрозе, был прав!

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Мы выяснили, что террористы заполучили-таки ядерный заряд.

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И вероятнее всего, он спрятан у миссис Клинтон в... ну, в её...

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Где у неё??

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У неё в манде, сэр.

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ЧТО???

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Что происходит? Я не закончила!

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Это в целях безопасности, миссис Клинтон. Скорее всего, ничего особенного.

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Да.

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Мистер Джефри, это Алан Томпсон, ЦРУ.

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У нас есть основания полагать, то ядерное устройство может находится у миссис Клинтон... в манде.

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У неё ГДЕ?

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В манде! Это техническое определение вагины.

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Да нет же! О каком типе ядерного устройства идёт речь?

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Мистер Джефри, это Фрэнк Уотерс. Речь о компактном ядерном заряде.

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Разработанный так, чтобы помещаться в женскую пилотку.

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Называется - мандомба.

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Что происходит, Брайн?

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Миссис Клинтон, похоже террористы спрятали мандомбу у вас в щели.

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Что нам делать? Мы можем вырубить таймер?

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У него нет таймера. Подрыв происходит дистанционно. Кем бы ни был наш террорист - детонатор у него.

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Выходит, что...

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Да! Если мы не найдем этот детонатор, то все в Саус Парке погибнут!

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НАВСЕГДА

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У нас есть связь?

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Да, он на линии, сэр.

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Да.

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Это Алан Томпсон, ЦРУ, мы говорили раньше...

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Да, мистер Томпсон!

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Мы только что прибыли в ваш город.

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Зачем? Вы что-то нашли?

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Да, это компактный ядерный заряд в манде миссис Клинтон.

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Мандомба?

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Так точно. Он управляется дистанционным детонатором. Надо найти террористов прежде, чем они всё взорвут.

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У меня есть адрес дома, в который они переехали. Я почти на месте. Где вы?

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Мы на центральной улице, напротив магазина с мороженым.

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Опа, чувак! Так и я тут же.

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Ага, привет.

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Слышь, мы из школы свалили!

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Я в курсе. Происходит что-то серьёзное. Взгляни ка на это.

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Я пошарил в Гугле насчет предвыборного турне Хиллари Клинтон, так?

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Есть ссылка на YouTube, где один русский тип держит кучу видео.

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Русский?

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Да, вот он! Владимир Столфский. У него тут записи всех выступлений.

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Так может он фанат Хиллари?

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Не, по профилю на YouTube я нашел его в MySpace. И судя по его блогу - он убеждённый коммунист.

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Так че ж ему делать на митингах Клинтон?

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Ну поищи на WebCrawler, наверняка есть подкаст для распространения этого видео.

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Да, хорошая мысль...

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Что происходит? Что мы сделали?

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Они утверждают, что ничего не знают об атаке.

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Удивили!

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Сэр, мы обыскали дом. Детонатора для мандомбы нигде нет.

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Мистер Хаким, где ваш сын?

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Мы думали, он в школе. Он не там?

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Вы молодец, мисс Клинтон.

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Они знают, Брайн? Через какое время мандомба рванёт у меня в пилотке?

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Они найдут детонатор, ХиллДог.

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Мы не можем ждать, пока они найдут детонатор. Может, если добраться до бомбы, то получиться её обезвредить?

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Может кто-нибудь пойти и пошукать у миссис Клинтон в манде?

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Я не отправлю никого из своих людей туда.

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Вы уже готовы подорвать заряд?

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Все под контролем. Детонатор активирован, время тикает.

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Господин Хаким, нам надо знать, где ваш сын?

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Я же сказал, я не знаю.

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Это ни к чему нас не приведёт.

00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:26,120

Если он что-то и знает, то не говорит.

00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,610

Позвольте, я попытаюсь...

00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,780

Что ты собираешься делать?

00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,090

Мы обязаны найти детонатор. Пустите меня к нему!

00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,470

Ты скажешь мне, где твой сын.

00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,800

Он должен быть в школе!

00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:46,970

Эй!

00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:49,490

Где детонатор?

00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,590

О каком еще детонаторе ты гово-

00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:55,860

Я могу делать это ВЕЕЕСЬ день.

00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:57,690

Но я ничего не знаю об эт-

00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,440

Остановись! В натуре!

00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,770

Ты можешь это прекратить!

00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:05,840

У меня нет ника-

00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,550

Неужели мы просто позволим этому продолжаться?

00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,160

Так, я нашел подкаст этого русского. Тут много ссылок на eBay.

00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:18,470

По его логину ты можешь посмотреть, что он покупал и продавал там.

00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:21,840

Феррис, ставь это сюда! Двое могут расположиться на этой койке.

00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:22,380

Эй?!

00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,090

Доннер, садись за этот компьютер.

00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:25,850

Что происходит?

00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:28,880

Это помещение переходит службе национальной безопасности.

00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,080

Национальной безопасности?!

00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,880

Ваши игры кончились!

00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,080

Вы можете продолжать работать, но с этого момента подчиняетесь мне! ЯСНО?

00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:38,500

Простите, кто здесь главный?

00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,590

Я.

00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:41,110

Уже нет!

00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,140

Это помещение теперь принадлежит ФБР.

00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,110

Это немыслимо!!! По чьему приказу?

00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:48,570

По приказу советника по безопасности. Вы сделали своё дело, теперь я главный!

00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,000

Уже нет!

00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:54,010

Приказ с самого верха. Они хотят чтобы этим занялся антитеррористический департамент.

00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,200

Итак, господа. Теперь все подчиняются мне!

00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,760

Уже не подчиняются!

00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,380

Приказ президента. Он желает, чтобы это контролировали его люди.

00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:02,800

Теперь Нельсон командует.

00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,970

Ни фига подобного! Уже не командую!

00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,760

Что ты собираешься сделать с моей женой?

00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:10,500

Ничего.

00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,080

Если скажете, где ваш сын.

00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,030

Уже сказали! Мы не знаем.

00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:15,770

Знаете, что это?

00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,160

Это яблочный сок.

00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:21,150

От него у меня термоядерный пердёж!

00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,640

Неужто он вколол себе яблочный сок?

00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,030

Где твой сын???

00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,500

Она тоже не знает!

00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,520

Я серьёзно! Остановись!

00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,780

Это отвратительно! Где твоя мать?

00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:38,710

Ответь!

00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,410

Алло...

00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:41,580

Да, Бахир...

00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:42,990

Где ты находишься?

00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,280

Кто такой Бат-терс???

00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:46,310

БАТТЕРС.

00:13:46,470 --> 00:13:49,320

Бахир, один из твоих одноклассников держит нас в заложниках!

00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,760

Ааахх ты! Мелкий гадкий негодяй!

00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,860

Сработало! Я знаю, где он.

00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:57,440

Хорошо, где? Скажи, мы пошлём туда людей.

00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:58,930

Нет, нет. Я сам.

00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,140

Ты не пойдешь один!

00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:05,280

Вы вломитесь туда и, возможно, убьёте его, ничего не узнав о детонаторе! А я собираюсь его найти.

00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:09,790

Так, народ. Я теперь главный. И мы найдем этого террориста.

00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,780

Джервис, ищи любую террористическую болтовню на AOL.

00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:16,610

Марли и Григс, ищите инфу о ядерных устройствах на askjeeves.com

00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:20,000

Ask Jeeves??? Никто им уже не пользуется. Только Гугл - ищите там.

00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,250

Ты будешь говорить, как мне работать?

00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:25,680

Да! Это русский тип - Владимир Столвский. На него указывают Указывают результаты поиска по всем эти запросам.

00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:29,720

Чейз, ищи имя Владимир Столвский на ютубе и ссылки оттуда на JDate.

00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:30,800

Проверяю!

00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:35,360

Слушайте, все эти русские в блогах пишут о том, что это лишь ширма для чего-то гораздо большего!

00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:40,980

Сэр, эти ребята правы. Мы только что получили донесение, что русские взяли на себя ответственность за угрозу.

00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,360

Откуда данные?

00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:43,860

Мы прочли это в Drudge Report.

00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:47,740

Смотрите, у нас ведь есть его блог. Может получится узнать адрес и и проверить его на MapQuest.

00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:50,110

Мы сделаем это по-моему!!! Я тут главный!

00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:52,580

Уже нет!

00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,390

Вот облом...

00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:58,710

Ааггаа, я съел еще одну твою шашку, Бахир!

00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:02,790

Опаньки... привет, Эрик.

00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:04,660

Где детонатор???

00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:05,440

Чего??

00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:09,120

У тебя есть ровно пять секунд, прежде чем я начну выпускать ужасные газы от яблочного сока тебе в рожу.

00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,040

Раз!

00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:10,950

Отвали от меня!

00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:14,930

Эй! Я ж почти выиграл...

00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,600

Стой, террорист! Я то я тебя пристрелю!

00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:22,530

Лезьте в фургон!

00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:28,240

Ну...ладненько. Вообще-то я больше не играю.

00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,220

БЫСТРО В ФУРГОН!!!

00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:37,690

Всё! У нас нет выбора! Кто-то должен добраться до мандомбы и попытаться обезвредить её вручную.

00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,250

Нет! Это слишком опасно!

00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:43,090

Эту манду никто не трогал уже 30 лет. Она может быть токсична!

00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:45,020

Я сделаю это.

00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,660

Я проверю пилотку мисс Клинтон.

00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:54,640

Отпустите меня! Пожалуйста! Я всего лишь маленький мальчик!

00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,580

Ты предупредил правительство о наших планах.

00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:00,970

Чего ты не знаешь, это то, что мы просто наёмники.

00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:06,020

Нам заплатили за установку мандомбы. Так что истинные враги Америки могут нападать!

00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,450

Ну и ладно. Я не против мусульманского вторжения.

00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,850

Ты серьезно считаешь, что за этим стоят мусульмане?

00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:14,660

...да...конечно...

00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,940

Неплохо бы тебе знать, что у Америки есть враги и помимо мусульман.

00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,450

Кто старейший враг Америки?

00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:21,980

Русские?

00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,630

Перед этим?

00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:24,880

Немцы?

00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:26,280

Перед этим!?

00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,250

Опять немцы?

00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,900

ПЕРЕД ЭТИМ!!! Я говорю и старейшей угрозе Америке!

00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,860

О величашем враге, известном вашей стране!

00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,110

Неужели вы имеете в виду...

00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:45,720

200 лет мы ждали. Наконец-то!

00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:48,620

Мы заставим этих изменников служить короне!

00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:52,220

Слушаю, ваше величество.

00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,880

Русские готовы провести отвлекающий манёвр.

00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:57,810

Поднять паруса!

00:16:58,330 --> 00:16:59,810

Поднять паруса, ваше величество?

00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,430

Ок, Брайн. Лезь туда и посмотри, сможешь ли ты обезвредить мандомбу в пилотке миссис Клинтон.

00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,450

Хорошо.

00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,980

Я рядом с её мандой.

00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,420

Да поможет ему господь.

00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:25,860

Что ты видишь, Брайн?

00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,150

Тут темно...

00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:28,640

...холодно.

00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:33,580

Отлично, молодец. Двигайся дальше. Попытайся заглянуть внутрь.

00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:38,950

Так... я смотрю.

00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,640

Да! Я вижу...

00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:42,290

...я вижу устройство.

00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:46,600

Прекрасно, Брайн. Держись!

00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,050

У него...

00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:48,320

...металлический корпус.

00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:51,370

Спусковой механизм с тремя зубцами.

00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,070

Постойте... тут...

00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,810

...что-то еще здесь!

00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,220

Что-то!

00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:58,180

Повтори, Брайн.

00:17:58,490 --> 00:18:00,940

Что-то сидит на корпусе мандомбы.

00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:03,300

Боже! Оно смотрит на меня!

00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:04,960

Брайн, убирайся оттуда!!!

00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:09,360

Что ты такое? Я не боюсь тебя!

00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:09,980

Стой!

00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:11,490

Стой, я ска-

00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,170

Брайн, Брайн! Что происходит???

00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:18,670

Оно жрёт мою голову!!! Оно жрёт мою голову!!!

00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,820

Есть! Я нашёл!

00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:32,250

Суда по данным с PayPal, русские - всего лишь наёмники. Их услуги оплачены через eBuy. И всё это, чтобы нас могли атаковать...

00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,600

Британцы.

00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:34,650

Британцы?

00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:36,090

Верноподданные красные мундиры.

00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,220

Сэр, я нашел аккаунт русских на eHarmony!

00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,850

Тут упоминается адрес в Саус Парке!

00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,650

Ок, теперь вычислим где это, с помощью MapQuest!

00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,660

Я воспользуюсь Google Maps - у неё живой трафик.

00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:45,490

Соображаешь!

00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:48,550

Сэр, у нас есть координаты террористов. Передаю их по ICQ.

00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:51,790

Это была большая честь, знать тебя, комрад!

00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,390

Пожалуйста! Подумайте, что вы творите! Британцы просто используют вас - вы же умрёте.

00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,710

Да... но мы умрём богачами.

00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,830

Игра окончена! Все на пол!

00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,390

Как они нас нашли???

00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:12,400

Мы всё знаем! Теперь вы не сможете помочь красным мундирам своими действиями!

00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:17,470

Это не важно. Детонатор подключен к таймеру. Вы опоздали!

00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,940

Осталось три минуты.

00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:26,120

Что за хрен?!

00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,860

Свет вырубили!

00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:29,520

И что теперь? Сколько же время?

00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:33,970

Вооот дерьмо...

00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:35,310

Валите их!

00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,290

НЕЕЕТ!!! Я не хочу умирать без оплаты!!!

00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:51,270

Детонатор в безопасности, генерал. Ваш ход.

00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,520

Мятежные американцы знают о нашей атаке???

00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:02,330

Как?

00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:03,680

Открыть огонь!

00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:15,290

Мдааа...

00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:22,530

Ваше величество. План провалился. Мы были... не способны завершить американскую революцию.

00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:24,670

Понятно...

00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,920

Ну что ж. Похоже, мы уберегли нашу страну от британского ига еще раз.

00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:39,600

Да. И это лишний раз доказывает, что нам надо научитья не обвинять во всём одну нацию. Потому что большая часть мира нас ненавадит.

00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,160

Ну вот, Бахир. Я тут подумал, что должен перед тобой извиниться.

00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:44,090

Серьёзно?

00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,570

Да, но потом я осознал, что технически - я не должен.

00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,650

Потому что, подозревая тебя, я спас жизнь тебе и всем остальным.

00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,550

Так что извиниться должен ты.

00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:52,990

Но ничего, все ок.

00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:56,860

Никого ты не спас! Я всех спас! Ты просто глумился над мусульманами!

00:20:57,610 --> 00:21:02,060

Но если бы я не позвонил и не попросил проверить его - ты бы так и провалялся в кровати весь день.

00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:03,950

Может быть...

00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:04,740

Может быть???

00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,720

Если б я не позвонил, ты бы не сел за компьютер и ничего бы не узнал о митинге в поддержку Хиллари Клинтон.

00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,010

Это значит, что моя нетерпимость к мусульманам спасла Америку!

00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:12,500

Ты всё искажаешь...

00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:15,430

Я был тем, кто предотвратил взрыв ядерной бомбы? ДА или НЕТ?

00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,790

Это не правильная точка зрения...

00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,740

ДА ИЛИ НЕТ, КАЙЛ???

00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:19,470

НЕТ!

00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,170

Не так, как говоришь ты...

00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:25,350

Но это всё, что я говорю. Сегодня нетерпимость к одной нации всех спасла. Бахир, ты ведь понял, да?

00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:28,260

Бахир, немедленно отойди от этого чудовища!!!

00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:32,820

Возвращайся домой и собирай чемоданы. Мы покидаем эту ужасную страну, полную нетерпимости.

00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:38,990

ОК

00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:41,320

Кто избавил нас от мусульман? Ааа?

00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:42,610

Это был я!

00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,260

Простого "Спасибо" будет достаточно.

00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,304

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,015

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,642

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,521

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,064

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,482

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,526

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,822

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,907

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,083

All right, students,

let's take our seats.

00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,210

Everyone try to be nice

00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,963

because we have a new

student joining us today.

00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,924

And I know you will all

make him feel welcome.

00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,302

Say hello to...

00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:55,264

Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem.

00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,807

Uh-oh!

00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,893

Welcome to our

class, Baahir.

00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,061

Thank you.

00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,896

Dude, dude not cool!

00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,689

Why don't you take a seat in

Kyle's empty desk for now.

00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,900

Okay.

00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:07,651

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,988

NO...

No-ho-ho!

00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,074

Eric, what the hell

is wrong with you?

00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,658

What's wrong?

00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,578

Has he been checked

for bombs?

00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,871

Eric, that's enough.

00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,123

Not all Muslim people

are terrorists.

00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,167

No, but most of them are.

00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,335

And all it takes

is most of them.

00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,089

Ha-ha-ha!

00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,423

Ha-ha-ha-ah!

00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,467

Now you go, Baahir.

00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,428

Ah-ha-hay!

00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,689

Yeah?

00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,108

Kyle, are you

on your computer?

00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,025

What?

No, I'm sick.

00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,568

Get on-line.

00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,237

I need you to

check something for me.

00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,279

Dude, leave me alone.

00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,447

Kyle, every one

of our friends

00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,448

might be in

serious danger.

00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:55,866

What? Why?

00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,368

Get

on-line now!

00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,120

All right, all right.

00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,790

Go to Myspace.

00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:06,085

See if there's a Myspace page for a Baahir

Hakeem.

00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,170

Baahir Hakeem.

00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,463

Born in Chicago,

eight years old.

00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,881

His favorite color is green.

00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,675

Cartman what is

this all about?

00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,635

Kyle, I want you to check

his buddy list.

00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,178

How many Myspace

friends does he have?

00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,555

Over a hundred.

00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,056

Look further down

the page--

00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,724

does he list

his favorite band?

00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,476

White Stripes.

00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,353

That's funny.

- What?

00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,521

He told everyone

in class today

00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,524

his favorite

band was Blink 182.

00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,785

Hello?

00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,203

Officer Barbrady,

00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,289

South Park Elementary

is in serious danger.

00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,291

From what?

Who is this?

00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,876

I've just I.D.ed a Muslim

00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,460

and his Myspace page does not check out.

00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,212

You've got to get these

people out of here now.

00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,590

Are you serious?

00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,133

If I wasn't serious, would I

be talking like this?

00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,885

Like what?

00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,261

Whispering, but

whispering really loudly

00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,470

for dramatic effect.

00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,347

Oh, jeez.

00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,311

What the hell?

00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:10,024

All students are to

evacuate the school immediately.

00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:12,735

Woo-hoo! Yipee! All right

! Yay!

00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,612

Hey, Baahir,

since we get to go home,

00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,530

you wanna come over

and play checkers?

00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,532

Sure, okay!

- All right!

00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,411

Dude...

00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:26,373

Yeah.

00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,625

Dude, I just got

I.D.ed from Stan

00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,210

that they evacuated

the school.

00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,669

Yeah, now do you believe me

something is going on?

00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,670

I guess so.

00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,130

Yeah, well,

I don't like it.

00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,798

It doesn't follow.

What doesn't follow?

00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,383

Why would a terrorist

just blow up a school?

00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,843

It's not their M.O.

00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,803

Unless...

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,222

Oh, my God.

00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,933

Unless this was all

just a big diversion.

00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,017

Kyle, I need you to

Google search

00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,310

the South Park

chamber of commerce.

00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,062

Okay.

00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,104

Their website should have

a calendar of events.

00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,439

Is there anything big

going on in town today?

00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,024

Yeah, actually, there is.

00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,317

What?

00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,694

There's a Hillary Clinton

campaign rally.

00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821

Cartman... Cartman?

00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,494

Sir, there's somebody calling

in saying there's going to be

00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,996

a terrorist attack on the

Hillary Clinton rally today.

00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,373

What?

00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,959

This is C.I.A. head

Alan Thompson.

00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,211

Mr. Thompson, you have to

call off the Clinton rally.

00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,545

There's a terrorist

in South Park.

00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:14,922

What do you know?

00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,006

He just showed up

out of the blue.

00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,758

I need to speak with

the president right away.

00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,051

I am the head

of the C.I.A.

00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,386

You can tell me.

00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,012

I said I will only

talk to the president.

00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,430

Look if you have

information of a threat--

00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,391

la-la-la-la

la-la-la-la!

00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,558

I will have you

arrested for--

00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,810

la-la--

I can't hear you.

00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,687

Only the president--

la-la-la-la-la!

00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,482

Call is coming through

now, Mr. President.

00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,067

Hello?

00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,652

President Bush,

it's Eric Cartman.

00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,403

Are we on a secure line?

00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,238

Huh? Who?

00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,447

Look, I know you're not

the biggest Hildog fan,

00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,991

but she is in

great danger right now.

00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,492

Hildog?

00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,205

Yes, I understand.

00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,623

I'll let

Mrs. Clinton know.

00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,083

What is it, Brian?

00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,918

MrS. Clinton, we just

received word

00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,212

of a possible terrorist

attack on your rally today.

00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,755

Is the threat credible?

00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,299

We aren't sure.

00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,050

But perhaps it's best

we call it off.

00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,385

No.

00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,721

No, I will not be bullied

by terrorist threats.

00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,472

Your men do

a good job, Brian.

00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,724

I have faith that any threat

00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,143

will be taken care of

accordingly.

00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,937

We've reached

the rally site, Hildog.

00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,524

Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton,

00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,942

I'm sure everything

will be fine.

00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,777

Thank you, Chris.

00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,575

They know about

the bomb.

00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,410

That is impossible.

00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,494

We took every measure

to assure the bomb

00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,038

was hidden from sight!

00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,790

Well, somebody

tipped off the C.I.A.

00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,292

I don't know

how much they know,

00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,294

but security has been

heightened.

00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,005

That bomb must travel with

the Clinton rally to Boston.

00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,591

The bomb won't

make it to Boston now.

00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,134

With the heightened security

00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,636

it's only a matter of

time before they find it.

00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,597

Then we have no choice.

00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,724

We have to move up

the attack.

00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,351

I understand, comrade.

00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:51,977

Prepare yourself.

00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,980

We detonate

the bomb within the hour.

00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,487

Kyle, I'm at

the Clinton rally sight

00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,072

but there's no sign

of that kid.

00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,365

So then maybe

you're wrong.

00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,949

Nope, I'm not wrong.

00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,576

He must be somehow attacking

remotely from his house.

00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,286

Did you find

the address?

00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,246

Yeah, I cross-referenced his Myspace page with

Realtor.com.

00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,414

His parents moved into

that green house

00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,957

on Janis street.

00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,626

Jesus-- that's on

the other side of town.

00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:16,919

All right, Kyle, I'm gonna

take a picture

00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,128

with my camera phone

and upload it to you.

00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,588

Are you ready?

- Yeah.

00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,595

What is that?

- It's my balls!

00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,640

God damn it, Cartman!

00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,308

Okay, okay, Kyle,

let's stay focused here.

00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,229

People of South Park,

it is my honor to introduce

00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,523

a woman who deserves

nothing but respect:

00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,484

Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton!

00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,658

It is so nice to be back

in a small town

00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,411

like the one I came from!

00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,330

Hildog!

00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,082

Woof, woof! Woof, woof!

Woof, woof! Woof, woof!

00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,167

Portis-- green-- anything

on that bomb threat?

00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,961

We have the bomb-sniffing pig

going through

00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,422

if there is a bomb,

the pig will find it.

00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:09,138

This is why I campaign

in small towns like these.

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,890

Because it is in towns

like South Park

00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,726

that you find

the true America!

00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:21,775

Oh, my God,

she's got a scent.

00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,193

What?

00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,154

The pig is picking up

the smell of nuclear residue!

00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,613

Terrorists have

hidden a bomb!

00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,157

Oh, my God-- where?

00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,575

Where could they have

stashed it?

00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,325

Come on, girl, find it!

00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,702

Find!

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,203

My God, they hid it

under the stage?

00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,413

No, wait, look.

00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,956

How much money

do we have to waste

00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,541

on needless spending,

00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:42,421

when we should be focusing all

our attention on-- uh.

00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,755

On the education of our--

00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,549

whoo, ha-ha!

00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,259

Whoa there, girl!

00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,302

Ha-ha ha.

00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,637

On the education of

our children!

00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,558

Ohh, I declare!

00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,309

Oh, my God.

00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,060

Do you think they could

have hidden

00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,272

a nuclear device

up Mrs. Clinton's...

00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,899

Mr. Thompson,

that kid who called in

00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,275

the warning was right.

00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,277

We uncovered intel that

terrorists have obtained

00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,112

a nuclear device,

00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,615

and that they have most likely

hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's...

00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,492

Well, in her...

00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,535

In her what?

00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,787

In her snatch, sir.

00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,206

What?!

00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,499

What is going on?

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:19,875

I wasn't finished.

00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,126

Security measure,

Mrs. Clinton.

00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,586

Probably nothing.

00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,254

Yes?

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,632

Mr. Jefferies, this is

Alan Thompson with the C.I.A.

00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,217

We have reason to believe

that Mrs. Clinton

00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,470

may have a nuclear

device up her snatch.

00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,679

A what?!

00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,056

A snatch.

00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,141

It's the technical

term for vagina.

00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477

No, I mean what

kind of nuclear device?

00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,063

Mr. Jefferies,

this is Frank Waters.

00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,648

It's a suitcase nuke

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,484

designed to fit

in a woman's sniz.

00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,693

It's called a snuke.

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,654

What is going on, Brian?!

00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,113

Mrs. Clinton, it appears

that terrorists have

00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,866

snuck a snuke

up your sniz.

00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,867

Oh, my!

00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,077

What do we do?

00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,495

Can we disable

the timer?

00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,913

It won't have a timer.

00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,540

Snukes are detonated

remotely.

00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,792

Whoever our terrorist is

has the detonator with him.

00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,377

But then that means...

00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,170

Yes, if we don't find

that detonator,

00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,382

everyone in the town of

South Park is going to die...

00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,134

Forever.

00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,981

Do we have that

phone trace?

00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,816

Call is going through

now, sir.

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,068

Yeah.

00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,486

This is C.I.A. head

Alan Thompson.

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612

We spoke

before about the--

00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,738

Yes, Mr. Thompson.

00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:32,990

We've just arrived

in your town.

00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,616

Why?

Did you find something?

00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,911

Yes, there's a suitcase nuke

in Mrs. Clinton's sniz.

00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,621

A snuke?

00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,039

That's right.

00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,708

It's controlled

by a remote detonator.

00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,043

We have to locate the terrorist

before he sets it off.

00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:45,919

I have the address

of the house

00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,254

the terrorist moved into.

00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,714

I'm almost there now,

where are you?

00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,840

We're on the town's

main street,

00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,425

right by an

ice-cream shop.

00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:52,718

Oh, dude,

I'm right next to you.

00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,804

Oh, hey.

00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,724

Dude, we totally

got let out of school.

00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,475

I know, something big

is going on.

00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,769

Take a look at this-

I did a Google search for

00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,229

Hillary Clinton

campaign rally, right?

00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,731

And one of the links

was to YouTube,

00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,524

where this Russian guy had a bunch of videos.

00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:08,734

Russian?

00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,485

Yeah, this guy,

Vladimir Stolfsky.

00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,279

He had videos on youtube

of every single rally.

00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,947

So he's a

Hillary Clinton fan.

00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,742

No, I cross-referenced his

YouTube profile with Myspace,

00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,285

and according to his blog,

00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,453

he's an old-school

communist.

00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,121

So what's he doing

at every Clinton rally?

00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,040

Do a WebCrawler search.

00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,833

Maybe he has

podcasts up somewhere.

00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,084

Oh, that's a good idea.

00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,670

What is going on?!

00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,589

What have we done?!

00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,965

They claim they don't know

anything about an attack.

00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,216

Big surprise.

00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,218

Sir, first pass

of the house--

00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,346

we didn't find

a snuke detonator anywhere.

00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,890

Mr. Hakeem,

where is your son?

00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:40,766

We thought he

was at school.

00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,100

He's not at school?

00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,437

Doing great, Mrs. Clinton.

00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,938

Do they know

how long, Brian?

00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,191

How long before the snuke

in my sniz goes off?

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,735

They'll find

the detonator, Hildog.

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,404

We can't wait for them

to find the detonator.

00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,157

If we can get to the bomb,

maybe we can deactivate it.

00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,784

Can't somebody go

00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:02,329

and take a look inside

Mrs. Clinton's sniz?

00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,165

I'm not sending any

of my men in there.

00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,418

Are you almost ready

to set off the bomb?

00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,795

Everything is set.

00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,089

We have the detonator

up and running.

00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,804

Mr. Hakeem, we need to

know where your son is.

00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,514

I tell you I do not know.

00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,101

This is getting

us nowhere.

00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,311

If he knows anything,

he's not saying.

00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,479

Let me have

time with him.

00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,980

What are you

going to do?

00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,482

We have to find

that detonator.

00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,526

Let me have

time with him.

00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,071

You will tell me

where your son is.

00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,699

He should be at school.

00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,581

Hey!

00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,668

Where is the detonator?

00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,462

What detonator are you--

00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,424

I can do this all day.

00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,175

I don't know

anything about a--

00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,596

Ah... Oh!

00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,432

Stop it... Really!

00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:04,683

You can make it stop.

00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:08,645

I don't have a--

00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,021

Are we just gonna

let this go on?

00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,650

Okay, I got a text of the Russian guy's podcast.

00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,235

It's all a bunch of

links to eBay.

00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,070

You should be able to

search his username on eBay

00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,905

and see what he's been

buying and selling.

00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,365

Farris, setup over there.

00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,575

Two of you can

take that bed area.

00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993

Hey.

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,786

Donner, take over

that station.

00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,413

What's going on?

00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,582

This department is being

absorbed by homeland security.

00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,834

Homeland security?

00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,127

Look, your little game

00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,211

of going over people's

heads is over.

00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,796

You can still work

00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,798

but from now on you answer

to me-- you got that?

00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,133

Excuse me--

who's in charge here?

00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,468

I am.

00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,094

Yeah, well not any more,

you're not.

00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,846

This department has just

been assigned to the F.B.I.

00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,139

That's outrageous!

00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,432

On who's order?!

00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:46,767

On order of

the secretary of defense.

00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852

You had your shot,

now I'm in charge.

00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,395

Not any more you're not.

00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,772

Orders just came down

from central.

00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,774

They want A.T.F.

Handling this on all fronts.

00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,026

All right, people, from now on

you are answering to me.

00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,694

Not anymore

they're not.

00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:58,987

Orders from the president.

00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,864

He wants this handled

by his staff personally.

00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,074

Now Nelson is in charge.

00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,327

Not any more I'm not.

00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,581

What are you going to

do to my wife?

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,167

Nothing, if you tell me

where your son is.

00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,461

We told you,

we don't know!

00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,671

Do you know

what this is?

00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,965

This is apple juice.

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,510

It gives me

super-bad farts.

00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,846

Did he just inject himself

with apple juice?

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181

Where is your son?

00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,766

She doesn't know either!

00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,976

Ooh, ooh!

00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,353

I mean it, stop!

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,395

That is disgusting!

00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,814

Where is your mother?

00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,693

Answer it.

00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530

Hello-- hello, Baahir.

00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,532

Where are you?

00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,575

Who is Butters?

00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,202

Butters.

00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,787

Baahir, one of your classmates

is keeping us hostage--

00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,623

Ah, ah!

00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,834

Oh, you filthy little

rapscallion!

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,544

We got him!

I know where he is!

00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,753

All right, where?

00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,088

We'll send our

people in.

00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,589

No, no, he's my lead.

00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,632

You're not going alone!

00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,217

You blow in there

and you risk taking him down

00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,760

without finding

the detonator.

00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,638

I'm going to

find out where it is.

00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,139

All right, people,

I'm in charge now

00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141

and we will find these

terrorists.

00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,477

Jarvis, I want you to check for

any terrorist chatter on A.O.L.

00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,646

Marley and Gregs, try searching

for nuclear devices

00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,773

on AskJeeves.com.

00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316

Askjeeves?

Nobody uses AskJeeves!

00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,568

Just Google search it.

00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,403

Are you telling me

how to do my job?

00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,947

Yes, there's a Russian guy named Vladimir

Stolfsky

00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,574

who's got search-engine hits

all over this thing.

00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,868

Chase, search the

name Stolfsky on YouTube

00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,911

and cross-reference

it with JDate!

00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,079

Checking.

00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,706

Look, these Russian guys all have blogs

00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:33,999

talking about this like

it's just some diversion

00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,500

for something

much bigger.

00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,168

Sir, these kids are right.

00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,795

We've just received intel that Russian terrorists

00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,463

are believed to be

responsible for the threat.

00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,132

Where is the intel from?

00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,758

We just read it on Drudge Report.

00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,427

Look, we already

have the guy's blog.

00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,386

Maybe we can find

an address

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,846

and check it out on MapQuest.

00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,307

We do this my way,

I'm the one in charge!

00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,809

Not any more

you're not.

00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,269

Oh, snap!

00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,688

Whoopie!

00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,481

I captured another one

of your pieces, Baahir!

00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,482

Ahh!

00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:02,777

Oh, hey, Eric.

00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,154

Where is

the detonator?!

00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,864

The what?

00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,490

You have exactly five seconds

before I start dropping

00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,159

serious apple-juice

farts in your face!

00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,493

One!

Leave me alone!

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,203

Stop!

00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,540

Hey, I was about to win!

00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,876

Stop, terrorist,

or I will shoot you!

00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,173

Get in the van.

00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,343

Uh, that's cool.

00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,136

I'm actually not

playing anymore.

00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,222

Get in the van!

00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,307

That's it!

00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,600

We don't have

a choice anymore!

00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,644

Somebody is going to

have to go in

00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,437

and try to disarm

the snuke manually.

00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,147

No, it's too dangerous.

00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,107

That snatch has not seen

action in over 30 years.

00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,859

It could be toxic.

00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,819

I'll do it.

00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,864

I'll check out

Mrs. Clinton's sniz.

00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,869

Let me go-- please!

00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,454

I'm just a

little boy!

00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,415

You called and warned

the government of our plans.

00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,710

What you don't know is that

we are simply mercenaries.

00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,296

We were paid

to set off the snuke

00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,757

so that the real enemy of

America could attack!

00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:06,925

That's cool.

00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,635

I'm fine with

Muslims invading.

00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,888

You really think Muslims are

behind this terrorist threat?

00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,849

Uh, yes, of course.

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769

America had other enemies

before the Muslims, you know.

00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,146

Who is America's

oldest enemy?

00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,148

The Russians?

00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,692

Before that.

00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,651

The Germans?

00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236

Before that!

00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:27,988

The Germans again?

00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,489

Before that!

00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,033

I am talking about the oldest

threat to America.

00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,870

The greatest enemy

America has ever known!

00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,580

You can't possibly mean--

00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,838

200 years we've waited.

00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:49,175

Finally... We will get

those traitors to the crown!

00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,971

Yes, Your Majesty.

00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,016

The Russians are ready to

set off the diversion.

00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,726

Full sail!

00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,978

Full sail, Your Majesty.

00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,657

All right,

Brian, this is it.

00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,534

Get in there and see

if you can

00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,495

disarm the snuke in

Mrs. Clinton's snatch.

00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,084

All right, I'm nearing

her sniz now.

00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,210

God help him.

00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,879

What do you see, Brian?

00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,590

It's dark, cold.

00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,966

You're doing fine, Brian.

00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,468

Get as close

as you can.

00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,720

You have to

look inside the sniz.

00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,514

Ugh... Agh.

00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,392

All right, I'm looking.

00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,395

Yes, I see...

I see the device.

00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,316

You're doing great, Brian,

hang in there.

00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,902

There's a metal housing,

00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,029

some kind of three-pronged

triggering mechanism...

00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,115

Wait, there's--

there's something else here!

00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,576

There's something...

00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,078

Say again, Brian.

00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:00,163

There's something perched

on the snuke's core.

00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,581

It's...

00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,583

Oh, God,

it's looking at me!

00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,876

Brian, get out of there!

00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,212

What... What are you?!

00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,838

I have no quarrels

with you!

00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,298

Stay back!

00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,300

Stay back, I--

agh-agh!

00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,094

Brian-- Brian,

what's happening?!

00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,513

It's...

Eating my head!

00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,598

It's eating my head!

00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,393

Oh, my!

00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,772

I got it,

I got it!

00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,107

According to PayPal,

the Russian guys are

00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,942

just hired mercenaries

who had ads up on Craigslist

00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,527

and got paid through eBay

00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,363

so that Boston could be

attacked by... The British.

00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:34,572

The British?

00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,491

Loyalist red coats!

00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,660

Sir, I've found the Russian's eHarmony account.

00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,870

It does list an

address in South Park.

00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,163

All right, MapQuest the address!

00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,332

I'll use Google maps--

it has live traffic.

00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542

Good thinking.

00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293

Sir we have

the terrorists location.

00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,254

I.M.ing you now.

00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,756

It was good

knowing you, comrade.

00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,716

Please, think about

what you are doing.

00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,051

The British are

just using you.

00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:56,511

You're going to die.

00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,680

Yes, but we will be rich.

00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,723

Left flank,

breach flank and clear!

00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,142

Go, go, go...

00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,478

The game is over!

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,813

Get down on

the ground!

00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523

How did they find us?

00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,150

We know about everything.

00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,985

Your diversion to help

the red coats is over.

00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,528

It doesn't matter.

00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,280

The detonator

is on a timer.

00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,407

You are too late.

00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,160

In three minutes.

00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,291

What the hell?

00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,500

The power went out.

00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,502

So then what

time is it?

00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,090

Oh, crap.

00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,508

Take 'em down!

00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,513

No!

00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,850

I don't want to die

without being paid!

00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,768

Ugh!

00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,480

The detonator is

secure, general.

00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,066

You are clear to proceed.

00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,117

The rebel Americans

know of our attack?!

00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,327

How?

00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,996

Fire at will!

00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,423

Yes?

00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,134

Your Majesty,

the attack has failed.

00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:23,223

We were... Unable to end

the American revolution.

00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,474

I see...

00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,148

Well, looks like we've

saved our country

00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,733

from British rule once again.

00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,652

Yeah, it just proves

we need to learn not to

00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,111

profile one race of people.

00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,781

Because actually most of

the world hates us.

00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,949

Well, Baahir,

I was thinking that

00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,408

maybe I owe you

an apology.

00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,327

Really?

00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,287

Yes, but then I realized that,

technically, I don't.

00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,705

Because by being

suspicious of you,

00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,374

I saved your life and

everyone else's.

00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,334

So, really,

you owe me an apology.

00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,877

But that's cool.

00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,128

You didn't

save everyone!

00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,421

I did!

00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,298

You were just out

harassing Muslims!

00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,758

But if I hadn't called you

in the first place

00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,426

to check out the Muslims,

00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,262

you would have just stayed

in bed sick all day, right?

00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,263

Maybe.

00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:05,098

Maybe?

00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,182

If I hadn't called you,

you wouldn't have been

00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,600

on your computer checking out

the Clinton rally.

00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,603

That means my intolerance

of Muslims saved America.

00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,063

That is so

missing the point.

00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,773

Me being a bigot

stopped a nuclear bomb

00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,733

from going off--

yes or no?

00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,193

That's not the right

way to look at it--

00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,528

Yes or no, Kyle?

00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,780

NO... Not...

Not like you're saying.

00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,323

But that's all I'm saying.

00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,825

Today bigotry

and racism saved the day.

00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,368

Baahir, you get this,

right?

00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,370

Baahir, get away from

that disgusting child!

00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,163

Get back home and start

packing your things!

00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:33,209

We are leaving this

whole intolerant country!

00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,169

Aww!

00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,925

Okay, who got rid of

the Muslims, huh?

00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,343

That was all me.

00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,470

A simple thank you

will suffice.

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,700

Все персонажи и события в этом шоу, даже те, которые основаны на реальных людях, являются полностью вымышленными.

00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:05,000

Все известные голоса исполнены .. неудачно.

00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,000

Следующая программа содержит нецензурные выражения или оскорбления и вследствие чего эта передача не должна просматриваться кем-либо.

00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000

Перевод Виктор Д.

00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,500

♪ Я ухожу в Южный Парк, буду проводить своё время,

00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:16,059

♪ Дружелюбные лица везде, скромные люди без соблазна,

00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:19,250

♪ Я иду в Южный Парк, собираюсь оставить мои беды позади

00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,722

♪ Просторная парковка днём или ночью, люди, восклицающие: "Привет, сосед",

00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,837

♪ Я отправляюсь в Южный Парк, посмотрю, смогу ли я расслабиться

00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:29,352

♪ Мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами,

мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами,

00:00:29,352 --> 00:00:33,000

♪ Так приходи в Южный Парк и встреть некоторых моих друзей.

00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,010

Мандобомба (В чемоданчике, ядерная)

1104

00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:46,587

Так, ученики, давайте займём свои места. Все пытаемся быть милыми,

потому что у нас новый ученик присоединяется к нам сегодня,

00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:55,844

и я знаю, что вы все дадите ему почувствовать гостеприимство.

Скажите привет Бахир Хасан Абдул Хакиму.

00:00:55,864 --> 00:01:00,000

- Ой-ой.

- Добро пожаловать в наш класс, Бахир.

00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,292

- Спасибо.

- Чувак, чувак, не круто!

00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:07,000

- Почему бы тебе не сесть за пустой стол Кайла сейчас?

- Хорошо.

00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:13,200

- Нее!

- Эрик, что, чёрт возьми, с тобой такое?!

00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:20,742

- Что не так? Он был проверен на бомбы?

- Эрик, хватит! Не все мусульмане являются террористами!

00:01:20,762 --> 00:01:29,912

Нет, но большинство из них.

И это то, чем занимается большинство из них.

00:01:29,932 --> 00:01:41,167

Теперь ты давай, Бахир.

00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:47,452

- Да?

- Кайл, ты за компьютером?

00:01:47,472 --> 00:01:51,341

- Что? Нет, я болен.

- Выходи в сеть. Мне нужно, чтобы ты посмотрел кое-что для меня.

00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:55,422

- Чувак, оставьте меня в покое.

- Кайл, каждый из наших друзей может быть в серьёзной опасности!

00:01:55,442 --> 00:01:58,131

- Что? Почему?

- Выходи в сеть, сейчас же!

00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:07,263

- Ладно, хорошо.

- Иди на MySpace. Посмотри, есть ли в MySpace страница Бахира Хакима.

00:02:07,283 --> 00:02:13,009

"Бахир Хаким." Родился в Чикаго, восемь лет,

его любимый цвет зелёный. Картман, что всё это значит?

00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:16,882

Кайл, я хочу, чтобы ты проверил его список друзей.

Сколько MySpace-овских друзей у него?

00:02:16,902 --> 00:02:21,122

- Более сотни.

- Смотри дальше вниз по странице. Он записал свою любимую группу?

00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:24,000

- Белые полосы.

- Это смешно.

00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:33,133

- Что?

- Он сказал всем в классе сегодня, что его любимая группа Blink 182.

00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:39,153

Следующее происходит между переменой и уроком географии.

00:02:39,231 --> 00:02:40,462

Алло?

00:02:40,482 --> 00:02:44,043

Офицер Барбреди, Начальная школа Южного Парка

находится в серьёзной опасности!

00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,734

- От чего? Кто это?

- Я только что опознал мусульманина

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и его страница в MySpace не прошла проверку.

Вы должны удалить этих людей отсюда сейчас!

00:02:51,582 --> 00:02:55,423

- Вы это серьёзно?

- Если бы я не был серьёзен, я бы говорил вот так?

00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:58,762

- Как так?

- Шепча, но шепча действительно громко, для драматического эффекта.

00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:03,792

О Боже.

00:03:03,812 --> 00:03:13,074

- Что за чёрт?

- Все ученики должны покинуть школу немедленно!

00:03:13,094 --> 00:03:16,952

Эй, Бахир, так как мы собираемся пойти домой,

ты хочешь зайти поиграть в шашки?

00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:21,341

- Конечно, хорошо.

- Здорово!

00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:26,548

- Блин.

- Да.

00:03:26,568 --> 00:03:29,072

Чувак, я только что получил Мгновенное Сообщение от Стэна,

что они эвакуировали школу.

00:03:29,092 --> 00:03:32,059

- Да. Теперь ты веришь мне, что что-то происходит?!

- Я думаю, да.

00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:35,115

- Да, ну мне не нравится это! Из этого не следует!

- Что не следует?

00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:40,073

Засем террористу просто взрывать школу?

Это не их почерк, если только...

00:03:40,093 --> 00:03:44,111

О, мой Бог! Только бы это всё не было просто

большим отвлекающим манёвром.

00:03:44,131 --> 00:03:47,672

Кайл, ты мне нужен, чтобы Google-найти торговую палату Юж Парка!

- Хорошо.

00:03:47,692 --> 00:03:51,463

Их веб-сайт должен иметь календарь событий.

Есть ли что-нибудь грандиозное, происходящее в городе сегодня?

00:03:51,483 --> 00:03:53,571

- Да. Точно, есть.

- Что?

00:03:53,591 --> 00:04:01,451

Есть предвыборный митинг Хиллари Клинтон.

Картман? Картман?

00:04:01,471 --> 00:04:06,732

Сэр! Тут кто-то звонит и говорит, что будет террористическая

атака на митинг Хиллари Клинтон сегодня.

00:04:06,752 --> 00:04:12,543

- Что? Это руководитель ЦРУ Алан Томпсон.

- М-р Томпсон, вы должны отменить митинг Клинтон!

00:04:12,563 --> 00:04:14,981

Тут террористы в Южном Парке!

- Что вы знаете?

00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:18,013

Он только что появился из ниоткуда!

Мне нужно поговорить с президентом прямо сейчас!

00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:22,353

- Я глава ЦРУ! Вы можете сказать мне!

- Я сказал, я буду разговаривать только с президентом!

00:04:22,373 --> 00:04:25,624

- Слушайте, если у вас есть информация об угрозе, вы могли бы..

- Бла, бла-бла, бла-бла.

00:04:25,644 --> 00:04:32,613

- Я тебя арестую за..

- Я не слышу вас! Только президента!

00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:35,056

- Вызов переключаю сейчас, м-р президент.

- Алло?

00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:39,011

Президент буш(кустарник, где серут), это Эрик Картман.

Мы на защищённой линии? /- А? Кто?

00:04:39,031 --> 00:04:42,253

Слушайте, я знаю, вы не самый большой поклонник ХилСучки

(Обосранки), но она в большой опасности прямо сейчас!

00:04:42,273 --> 00:04:51,801

- ХилСучка?

- Да, я понимаю. Я передам м-с Клинтонше.

- Что это такое, Брайан?

00:04:51,821 --> 00:04:56,244

М-с Клинтон, мы только что получили известие

о возможном теракте на вашем митинге сегодня.

00:04:56,264 --> 00:05:00,542

- Эта угроза реальна?

- Мы не уверены, но, наверно, лучше нам отменить его.

00:05:00,562 --> 00:05:05,802

Нет. Нет, меня не запугать террористическими угрозами.

Ваши люди хорошо работают, Брайан.

00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:14,582

Я верю, что любая угроза будет отработанна соответственно.

- Мы достигли места митинга, ХилСучка.

00:05:14,602 --> 00:05:22,413

- Не волнуйтесь, м-с Клинтонша, я уверен, что всё будет хорошо.

- Спасибо, Крис.

00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:26,681

- Они знают о бомбе!

- Это невозможно!

00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,922

Мы предприняли все меры, чтобы обеспечить,

чтобы бомба была спрятана от глаз.

00:05:29,942 --> 00:05:35,362

Ну, кто-то шепнул в ЦРУ.

Я не знаю как много они знают, но безопасность была повышена.

00:05:35,382 --> 00:05:40,951

- Это бомба должна уехать Клинтоншей на митинг в Бостон!

- Эта бомба не доедет до Бостона теперь!

00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:45,004

С такими повышенными мерами безопасности

это всего лишь вопрос времени, когда они найдут её!

00:05:45,024 --> 00:05:51,000

- Тогда у нас нет выбора. Мы должны ускорить нападение.

- Я понимаю, товарищ.

00:05:51,000 --> 00:06:00,533

Приготовьтесь. Мы взрываем бомбу в течение часа.

00:06:00,553 --> 00:06:05,000

- Кайл, я на месте митинга Клинтонши, но нет никаких признаков

этого парня! /- Ну, тогда, может, ты ошибаешься.

00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,002

Нет, я не ошибаюсь. Он должен каким-то образом атаковать

дистанционно из своего дома. Ты нашёл адрес?

00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:14,142

Да. Я использовал перекрёстные ссылки его страницы MySpace с

Риэлтор.com. Его родители переехали в тот зелёный дом на Дженис стрит.

00:06:14,162 --> 00:06:20,000

Господи, это на другом конце города. Ладно, Кайл, я сделаю

снимок моей камерой телефона и загружу его к тебе. Ты готов?

00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:28,543

- Да. Что это?

- Это мои яйца!

00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:32,653

- Чёрт возьми, Картман!

- Хорошо. Хорошо, Кайл, давай, оставайся сосредоточенным сейчас.

00:06:32,673 --> 00:06:44,694

Народ Южного Парка, я имею честь представить женщину, которая

не заслуживает ничего, кроме уважения. М-с Хиллари Родэм Клинтон!

00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:55,433

- Это так приятно вернуться в небольшой город как тот, откуда я вышла.

- ХилСучка!

00:06:55,453 --> 00:07:05,774

Отис Грин, что-нибудь о той угрозе взрыва? У нас есть

бомбо-нюхательная свинья, идущая сквозь толпу.

Если есть бомба, свинья найдёт её.

00:07:05,794 --> 00:07:20,761

Вот почему я агитирую в малых городах, как этот! Потому что

в таких городах, как Южный Парк, вы найдёте истинную Америку!

00:07:20,781 --> 00:07:23,122

- Боже мой, она взяла след!

- Что?

00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:26,993

Свинья чует запах ядерных отходов. Террористы спрятали бомбу!

00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:31,764

- О, мой Бог! Где? Куда они могли спрятать её?

- Давайте, найди её. Найдите!

00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,683

- Боже мой, они спрятали её под сценой?!

- Нет, подождите, смотрите.

00:07:34,703 --> 00:07:42,653

Сколько денег мы должны тратить на ненужные расходы,

когда мы должны сосредоточить всё наше внимание на..

00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:54,673

на образование.. Ух, ну, девочка.

На образование всех детей. О, я вам скажу!

00:07:54,693 --> 00:08:00,731

О, мой Бог. Вы думаете, они могли спрятать

ядерное устройство в м-с Клинтоновской..

00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:05,000

М-р Томпсон, тот ребёнок, который звонил с предупреждением

был прав! Мы обнаружили разведданные,

00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:10,621

что террористы приобрели ядерное устройство,

и что они, скорее всего, спрятали его в м-с Клинтоновской..

00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:14,112

Ну, в её..

- В её что?

00:08:14,132 --> 00:08:17,601

- В её манде, сэр.

- Что?!

00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:23,476

- Что происходит? Я ещё не закончила.

- Мера безопасности, м-с Клинтон. Наверное, ничего.

00:08:23,496 --> 00:08:27,135

Да?

- М-р Джеффрис, это Алан Томпсон из ЦРУ.

00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:32,404

У нас есть основания полагать, что у м-с Клинтон

может быть ядерное устройство прямо в её манде.

00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:36,390

- Что?!

- Манда. Это специальный термин для влагалища.

00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:41,816

- Нет, я имею в виду, какого типа ядерное устройство?

- М-р Джеффрис, это Фрэнк Вотерс.

00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:47,074

Это чемоданное ядерное оружие, разработанное, чтобы поместиться

в женскую вагину. Оно называется Мандобомба (В чемодане, ядерная).

00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:52,913

- Что происходит, Брайан? /- М-с Клинтон, похоже, что террористы

тайком воткнули Мандомбу прямо в вашу дырку.

00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,243

О, Боже!

00:08:54,263 --> 00:08:59,517

- Что мы можем сделать? Можем ли мы отключить таймер?

- У неё нет таймера. Мандобомба взрываются дистанционно.

00:08:59,537 --> 00:09:03,482

У любого нашего террориста есть детонатор с собой.

- Но тогда это значит, что..

00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:21,045

Да. Если мы не найдём тот детонатор, все в городе

Южный Парк умрут. Навсегда.

00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:27,148

- Мы отследили тот телефон?

- Вызов совершается сейчас, сэр.

00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:31,346

- Да?

- Это глава ЦРУ Алан Томпсон. Мы говорили ранее о..

- Да, м-р Томпсон?

00:09:31,366 --> 00:09:34,195

- Ну, мы только что прибыли в ваш город.

- И? Вы нашли что-нибудь?

00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:40,000

- Да. Тут чемоданное ядерное устройство в дырке Клинтон.

- Мандобомба?

00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:45,044

Это так. Она управляется дистанционным детонатором.

Мы должны отследить террориста прежде, чем он взорвёт её.

00:09:45,064 --> 00:09:48,485

У меня есть адрес того дома, куда террорист въехал.

Я почти там сейчас, где вы?

00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:57,077

- Мы на главной улице города, прямо с магазином мороженое.

- О, чувак, я, я рядом с вами. /- О, привет.

00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:01,507

- Чувак, нам всем разрешили уйти из школы.

- Я знаю. Что-то большое происходит. Взгляни на это.

00:10:01,527 --> 00:10:05,900

Я сделал поиск Google по "предвыборный митинг Хиллари

Клинтон", так? И одна из ссылок была на YouTube,

00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:08,600

где этот русский парень имел кучу видео.

- Русский?

00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,600

Да, этот парень Владимир Столфский.

У него были видео на YouTube'е каждого любого митинга.

00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,100

- Так он фанат Хиллари Клинтон.

- Нет. Я использовал перекрёстные ссылки

00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:19,347

его профиля YouTube'а с MySpace'ом

и в соответствии с его блогом, он коммунист старой школы.

00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:24,686

Так что он делает на каждом митинге Клинтонши?

- Сделай поиск WebCrawler-ом, может у него есть подкасты где-то.

00:10:24,706 --> 00:10:30,235

- О это хорошая идея.

- Что происходит? Что мы сделали?

00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,747

- Они утверждают, что они ничего не знают об атаке.

- Большой сюрприз!

00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:37,388

Сэр, первый осмотр дома, мы не нашли детонатора Мандобомбы нигде.

00:10:37,408 --> 00:10:44,218

- М-р Аким, где ваш сын?

- Мы думали, что он был в школе. Он не в школе?

00:10:44,238 --> 00:10:47,218

- Вы держитесь здорово, м-с Клинтонша.

- Знают ли они, как долго, Брайан?

00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:52,366

Как долго до того, как Мандобомба в моей дырке сработает?

- Они найдут детонатор, ХилСучка.

00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:57,751

Мы не можем ждать, пока они ищут детонатор. Если мы сможем

добраться до бомбы, может, мы сможем отключить её.

00:10:57,771 --> 00:11:05,836

Не может ли кто-нибудь пойти и заглянуть в дырку м-с Клинтонши?

- Я не посылаю никого из моих людей туда.

00:11:05,856 --> 00:11:16,017

- Вы почти готовы взорвать бомбу?

- Всё готово. У нас взведённый детонатор и он тикает.

00:11:16,037 --> 00:11:22,857

- М-р Хаким, мы должны знать, где ваш сын!

- Я говорю вам, я не знаю.

00:11:22,877 --> 00:11:27,900

- Это ведёт нас в никуда. Если он ничего не знает, он не скажет.

- Дайте мне провести время с ним.

00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:34,635

- Что ты собираешься делать?

- Мы должны найти тот детонатор! Дайте мне провести время с ним!

00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:48,318

Ты скажешь мне, где твой сын!

- Он должен быть в школе! Эй!

00:11:48,338 --> 00:11:54,297

- Где детонатор?

- О каком детонаторе ты..

00:11:54,317 --> 00:12:01,568

- Я могу делать это весь день.

- Я не знаю ничего о..

00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,597

- Перестань! Действительно!

- Ты можешь это остановить!

00:12:04,617 --> 00:12:11,568

- У меня нет..

- Неужели мы просто позволим этому продолжаться?

00:12:11,588 --> 00:12:15,407

Так, я получил текст подкаста русского парня.

Это всё куча ссылок на eBay.

00:12:15,427 --> 00:12:19,016

Ты должен смочь найти его имя пользователя на eBay

и посмотреть, что он покупает и продаёт.

00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:21,875

Феррис, устанавливай вон там.

Вы двое, можете занять место у той кровати.

00:12:21,895 --> 00:12:25,148

- Эй!

- Доннер, забери у них это рабочее место.

00:12:25,168 --> 00:12:29,867

- Что происходит?

- Эта квартира занимается Национальной Безопасностью!

00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:32,500

- Национальной Безопасностью?

- Слушайте, ваша маленькая игра,

00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,052

идущая через головы людей закончилась! Вы все ещё можете

работать, но с этого момента вы слушаться меня, вы поняли это?

00:12:37,072 --> 00:12:39,476

- Простите, кто главный тут?

- Я!

00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:43,308

Да, ну, больше не ты.

Этот отдел был только что переназначен в ФБР.

00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:46,762

- Это возмутительно! По чьему приказу?

- По приказу министра обороны!

00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:51,750

У тебя был твой шанс, теперь я главный!

- Больше не ты! Приказ только что спустили из Центра!

00:12:51,757 --> 00:12:53,917

Они хотят, чтобы Управление по борьбе с незаконным оборотом

алкоголя, табака и вооружений, возглавляло это на всех фронтах!

00:12:53,937 --> 00:12:58,967

Так, люди, отныне вы слушаетесь меня!

- Больше нет! Приказ Президента.

00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,897

Он хочет, чтобы это возглавляли его сотрудники лично.

Теперь Нельсон главный.

00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:07,847

Нет, больше не я!

00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:12,199

- Что вы собираетесь делать с моей женой?

- Ничего, если ты скажешь мне, где твой сын!

00:13:12,219 --> 00:13:17,375

- Мы говорили вам, что мы не знаем.

- Знаете ли вы, что это такое?

00:13:17,395 --> 00:13:24,938

- Это яблочный сок. Это дает меня супер плохим пердуном.

- Он только что вколол себе яблочный сок?

00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:30,076

- Где ваш сын?

- Она не знает, так же.

00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:39,666

Я серьёзно говорю! Стой! Это отвратительно! Где твоя мать?

- Ответь!

00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:46,488

- Алло? Здравствуй Бахир. Где ты? Кто такой Баттерс?

- Баттерс.

00:13:46,508 --> 00:13:54,248

- Бахир, один из твоих одноклассников держит нас в заложниках.

- Ты грязный маленький негодяй!

00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:57,648

- Мы получили его! Я знаю, где он находится!

- Хорошо, где? Мы отправим туда наших людей.

00:13:57,668 --> 00:14:00,618

- Нет, нет, он мой ключ.

- Ты не пойдёшь один.

00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:06,268

Вы ворвётесь туда, и вы рискуете уничтожить его

не найдя детонатор! Я собираюсь выяснить, где он находится!

00:14:06,288 --> 00:14:12,775

Так, народ, я главный теперь и мы найдём этих террористов.

Джарвис, я хочу, чтобы ты проверил любую болтовню террористов на AOL.

00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:16,917

Марли и Греггс, попробуйте поискать

ядерные устройства на AskJeeves.com.

00:14:16,937 --> 00:14:21,357

- AskJeeves? Никто не использует AskJeeves! Просто Google-ищите их!

- Ты говоришь мне как делать мою работу?

00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:25,916

Да. Есть русский парень по имени Владимир Столфский,

который есть по всей поисковой системе.

00:14:25,936 --> 00:14:30,205

Чейз, ищи имя Столфский на YouTube

и используй перекрёстные ссылки его с JDate!

00:14:30,225 --> 00:14:33,022

- Проверяю.

- Смотрите, эти русские ребята уже во всех блогах говорят об этом,

00:14:33,026 --> 00:14:35,396

будто это просто какой-то большой отвлекающий манёвр

для чего-то гораздо большего!

00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:41,008

Сэр, эти дети правы. Мы только что получили разведданные,

что русские террористы 'берут' ответственность за эту угрозу.

00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:44,034

- Откуда разведданные?

- Мы только что прочитали их на сайте сплетен.

00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:47,967

Смотрите, у нас уже есть блог этого парня.

Может, мы можем найти адрес и проверить его на MapQuest.

00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:56,595

- Мы делаем это по моему! Я один главный!

- Нет, больше не вы.

- Вот те на!

00:14:56,615 --> 00:15:05,509

- Я захватил ещё одну из твоих шашек, Бахир. О, привет Эрик.

- Где этот детонатор!

- Что это?

00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:10,401

У тебя есть ровно пять секунд, прежде чем я начну

пердеть по-серьёзному 'яблочным соком' в твоё лицо! Раз!

00:15:10,401 --> 00:15:13,328

- Оставь меня в покое!

- Стой!

00:15:13,348 --> 00:15:21,415

- Эй, я почти выиграл!

- Стой, террорист, или я пристрелю тебя!

00:15:21,435 --> 00:15:31,578

- Забирайтесь в фургон!

- Э-э, это круто. Я на самом деле больше не играю.

- Забирайтесь в фургон!

00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:37,666

Вот и всё! У нас нет выбора больше!

Кому-то придётся влезть и попытаться разоружить Мандобомбу вручную!

00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:43,977

Нет, это слишком опасно! Эта манда не 'была в работе'

более 30 лет! Она может быть токсична!

00:15:43,997 --> 00:15:51,497

Я сделаю это! Я проверю дырку м-с Клинтонши.

00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:57,828

- Отпустите меня! Пожалуйста! Я просто маленький мальчик!

- Ты позвонил и предупредил правительство о наших планах!

00:15:57,848 --> 00:16:06,176

Что ты не знаешь, это что мы просто наёмники. Нам платят за

установку Мандобомбы, чтобы настоящий враг Америки смог атаковать.

00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:10,500

- Это круто. Я в 'мире' с мусульманским вторжением.

- Ты действительно думаешь, что мусульмане

00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:15,410

стоят за этой террористической угрозой?

- Э-э, да, конечно?

00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:21,298

У Америки были другие враги, до мусульман, ты знаешь.

Кто является старейшим врагом Америки?

00:16:21,318 --> 00:16:27,167

- Русские? /- До этого.

- Немцы? /- До этого.

00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:32,887

- В снова немцы?

- До этого! Я говорю о самой старой угрозе Америке!

00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:42,656

Тот злейший враг Америки, который только известен!

- Вы не можету иметь в виду..

00:16:42,676 --> 00:16:52,928

Двести лет мы ждали. Наконец.

Мы вернём этих предателей Короне! Да, Ваше Величество?

00:16:52,948 --> 00:17:07,000

- Русские готовы взорвать отвлекающий манёвр. Полный вперёд.

- Полный парус, ваше величество.

00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:19,132

Хорошо, Брайан, началось. Залазь туда и посмотри,

можешь ли ты разоружить Мандобомбу в манде м-с Клинтонши.

00:17:19,152 --> 00:17:24,342

- Ладно. Я приближаюсь к её дырке сейчас.

- Бог ему в помощь.

00:17:24,362 --> 00:17:28,562

- Что ты видишь, Брайан?

- Тут темно. Холодно.

00:17:28,582 --> 00:17:36,732

Ты молодец, Брайан. Доберись так близко, как можешь.

Ты должен заглянуть внутрь дырки.

00:17:36,752 --> 00:17:46,344

- Так, я смотрю. Да, я вижу.. Я вижу это устройство!

- Ты молодец, Брайан. Спускайся туда.

00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:51,871

Тут, э, металлический корпус.

Какой-то трёхконтактный спусковой механизм, который..

00:17:51,891 --> 00:17:58,043

Подождите, тут есть что-то ещё! Тут что-то..

- Повтори, Брайан.

00:17:58,063 --> 00:18:03,600

Тут что-то сидит на катушке Мандобомбы.

О Боже, оно смотрит на меня!

00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:09,500

- Брайан, выходи оттуда!

- Что.. Что ты такое? У меня нет никаких угрызений совести о тебе!

00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:14,113

Не подходи! Отойди, я..

- Брайан? Брайан, что происходит?

00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:24,172

- Оно ест мою голову! Оно есть мою голову!

- О, Боже!

00:18:24,192 --> 00:18:28,227

Я нашёл! Я нашёл!

Согласно PayPal, русские ребята просто нанятые наёмники,

00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:33,512

которые вывешивали рекламу Craig's List и им заплатили через eBay,

так что тот человек может быть атакован Британцами.

00:18:33,532 --> 00:18:36,461

- Британцы?

- Королевские Красные Мундиры!

00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:40,925

Сэр, я нашёл аккаунт (счёт) русских на сайте знакомств!

Он содержит список адресов в Южном Парке!

00:18:40,942 --> 00:18:44,600

- Хорошо! Адрес на MapQuest!

- Я буду использовать Google Maps. Он содержит пробки.

00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:49,682

- Хорошая мысль. /- Сэр, у нас есть расположение террористов.

Отсылаю мгновенное сообщение вам сейчас.

00:18:49,702 --> 00:18:53,942

- Было приятно познакомиться с тобой, товарищ.

- Пожалуйста. Подумайте о том, что вы делаете.

00:18:53,962 --> 00:18:59,061

Британцы всего лишь использовали вас, вы умрёте.

- Да, но мы будем богаты.

00:18:59,081 --> 00:19:08,402

- Левый фланг, 'напрыгиваем(?)' и зачищаем! Идём!

- Игра закончена! Вниз на землю! /- Как они нас нашли?

00:19:08,422 --> 00:19:12,273

Мы знаем обо всём! Ваш отвлекающий манёвр,

чтобы помочь Красным Мундирам окончен!

00:19:12,293 --> 00:19:24,921

Это не имеет значения. Детонатор на таймере.

Вы слишком опоздали! Через три минуты.

00:19:24,941 --> 00:19:32,290

- Что за чёрт?

- Электричество выключилось!

- Ну, так сколько сейчас времени?

00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:39,482

- Вот дерьмо.

- Убейте их!

00:19:39,502 --> 00:19:58,983

- Нет! Я не хочу умирать, не получив оплату!

- Детонатор обезврежен, генерал. Вы свободны чтобы продолжать.

00:19:59,003 --> 00:20:13,516

- Повстанцы Американцы знают о нашей атаке?!

- Как? /- Беглый огонь!

00:20:13,536 --> 00:20:18,480

- Да?

- Ваше Величество, атака не удалась.

00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:30,390

Мы были не в состоянии положить конец американской революции.

- Понимаю.

00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:34,093

Ну, похоже, что мы спасли нашу страну

от британского правления в очередной раз.

00:20:34,113 --> 00:20:37,232

Да. Это только доказывает, что мы должны учиться

не 'рассматривать' только расу людей.

00:20:37,252 --> 00:20:43,171

Потому что, на самом деле, большинство мира ненавидит нас.

- Ну Бахир, я думал, что, может, я должен перед тобой извиниться.

00:20:43,191 --> 00:20:46,300

- В самом деле?

- Да. Но потом я понял, что формально не должен.

00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:52,838

Потому что, подозревая тебя, я спас твою жизнь и жизни всех остальных.

Так на самом деле, ты должен передо мной извиниться. Но это круто.

00:20:52,858 --> 00:21:00,271

- Ты не спас никого, я спас! Ты только преследовал мусульман!

- Но если бы я не позвонил тебе сначала, чтобы проверить мусульманина,

00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:04,200

ты бы просто остался в кровати, болел весь день, не так ли?

- Может быть.

00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,572

Может быть? Если бы я не позвонил тебе, ты не сидел бы

за своим компьютером, проверяя митинги Клинтонши.

00:21:07,592 --> 00:21:12,358

Это означает, что моя нетерпимость мусульманам спасла Америку.

- Тут отсутствует смысл.

00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:17,597

- Я, будучи фанатиком, остановил взрыв ядерной бомбы, да или нет?!

- Это не правильный способ смотреть на это, я..

00:21:17,617 --> 00:21:21,192

- Да или нет, Кайл?

- Нет! Не, не так, как ты говоришь.

00:21:21,212 --> 00:21:25,362

Но вот всё, что я говорю: Сегодня, фанатизм и расизм спасли мир.

Бахир, ты понял это, не так ли?

00:21:25,382 --> 00:21:30,173

Бахир! Отойди от отвратительного ребёнка!

Возвращайся домой и начни упаковывать свои вещи!

00:21:30,193 --> 00:21:37,800

Мы покидаем эту вовсе нетерпимую страну!

00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:54,097

Хорошо. Кто избавился от мусульман, а?

Это был только я. Простой благодарности хватит.

00:22:14,302 --> 00:22:14,312

.

00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,304

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,015

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,642

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,521

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,064

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,482

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,526

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,696

♪ ( mumbling ) ♪

00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,822

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,907

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:35,995

( school bell ringing )

00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,083

All right, students,

let's take our seats.

00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,210

Everyone try to be nice

00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,963

because we have a new

student joining us today.

00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,924

And I know you will all

make him feel welcome.

00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,302

Say hello to...

00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:55,264

Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem.

00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,807

Uh-oh!

00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,893

Welcome to our

class, Baahir.

00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,061

Thank you.

00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,896

Dude, dude not cool!

00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,689

Why don't you take a seat in

Kyle's empty desk for now.

00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,900

Okay.

00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:07,651

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,988

NO...

No-ho-ho!

00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,074

Eric, what the hell

is wrong with you?

00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,658

What's wrong?

00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,578

Has he been checked

for bombs?

00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,871

Eric, that's enough.

00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,123

Not all Muslim people

are terrorists.

00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,167

No, but most of them are.

00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,335

And all it takes

is most of them.

00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,089

Ha-ha-ha!

00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,423

Ha-ha-ha-ah!

00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,467

Now you go, Baahir.

00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,428

Ah-ha-hay!

00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,230

( phone ringing )

00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,689

( sniffs )

Yeah?

00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,108

Kyle, are you

on your computer?

00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,025

What?

No, I'm sick.

00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,568

Get on-line.

00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,237

I need you to

check something for me.

00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,279

Dude, leave me alone.

00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,447

Kyle, every one

of our friends

00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,448

might be in

serious danger.

00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:55,866

What? Why?

00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,368

Get

on-line now!

00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,120

All right, all right.

00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,790

Go to Myspace.

00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:06,085

See if there's a Myspace page for a Baahir

Hakeem.

00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,170

Baahir Hakeem.

00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,463

Born in Chicago,

eight years old.

00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,881

His favorite color is green.

00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,675

Cartman what is

this all about?

00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,635

Kyle, I want you to check

his buddy list.

00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,178

How many Myspace

friends does he have?

00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,555

Over a hundred.

00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,056

Look further down

the page--

00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,724

does he list

his favorite band?

00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,476

White Stripes.

00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,353

That's funny.

- What?

00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,521

He told everyone

in class today

00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,524

his favorite

band was Blink 182.

00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,617

( phone ringing )

00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,785

Hello?

00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,203

( whispering )

Officer Barbrady,

00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,289

South Park Elementary

is in serious danger.

00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,291

From what?

Who is this?

00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,876

I've just I.D.ed a Muslim

00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,460

and his Myspace page does not check out.

00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,212

You've got to get these

people out of here now.

00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,590

Are you serious?

00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,133

If I wasn't serious, would I

be talking like this?

00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,885

Like what?

00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,261

Whispering, but

whispering really loudly

00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,470

for dramatic effect.

00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,347

Oh, jeez.

00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:03,184

( fire alarm ringing )

00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,311

What the hell?

00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:10,024

( Principal Victoria ) All students are to

evacuate the school immediately.

00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:12,735

Woo-hoo! Yipee! All right

! Yay!

00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,612

Hey, Baahir,

since we get to go home,

00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,530

you wanna come over

and play checkers?

00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,532

Sure, okay!

- All right!

00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,411

Dude...

00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,206

( phone ringing )

00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:26,373

Yeah.

00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,625

Dude, I just got

I.D.ed from Stan

00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,210

that they evacuated

the school.

00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,669

Yeah, now do you believe me

something is going on?

00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,670

I guess so.

00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,130

Yeah, well,

I don't like it.

00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,798

It doesn't follow.

What doesn't follow?

00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,383

Why would a terrorist

just blow up a school?

00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,843

It's not their M.O.

00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,803

Unless...

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,222

Oh, my God.

00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,933

Unless this was all

just a big diversion.

00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,017

Kyle, I need you to

Google search

00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,310

the South Park

chamber of commerce.

00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,062

Okay.

00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,104

Their website should have

a calendar of events.

00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,439

Is there anything big

going on in town today?

00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,024

Yeah, actually, there is.

00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,317

What?

00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,694

There's a Hillary Clinton

campaign rally.

00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821

Cartman... Cartman?

00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,494

Sir, there's somebody calling

in saying there's going to be

00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,996

a terrorist attack on the

Hillary Clinton rally today.

00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,373

What?

00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,959

This is C.I.A. head

Alan Thompson.

00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,211

Mr. Thompson, you have to

call off the Clinton rally.

00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,545

There's a terrorist

in South Park.

00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:14,922

What do you know?

00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,006

He just showed up

out of the blue.

00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,758

I need to speak with

the president right away.

00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,051

I am the head

of the C.I.A.

00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,386

You can tell me.

00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,012

I said I will only

talk to the president.

00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,430

Look if you have

information of a threat--

00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,391

la-la-la-la

la-la-la-la!

00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,558

I will have you

arrested for--

00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,810

la-la--

I can't hear you.

00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,687

Only the president--

la-la-la-la-la!

00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,482

Call is coming through

now, Mr. President.

00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,067

Hello?

00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,652

President Bush,

it's Eric Cartman.

00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,403

Are we on a secure line?

00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,238

Huh? Who?

00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,447

Look, I know you're not

the biggest Hildog fan,

00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,991

but she is in

great danger right now.

00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,492

Hildog?

00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,205

Yes, I understand.

00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,623

I'll let

Mrs. Clinton know.

00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,083

What is it, Brian?

00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,918

MrS. Clinton, we just

received word

00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,212

of a possible terrorist

attack on your rally today.

00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,755

Is the threat credible?

00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,299

We aren't sure.

00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,050

But perhaps it's best

we call it off.

00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,385

No.

00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,721

No, I will not be bullied

by terrorist threats.

00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,472

Your men do

a good job, Brian.

00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,724

I have faith that any threat

00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,143

will be taken care of

accordingly.

00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,937

We've reached

the rally site, Hildog.

00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,524

Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton,

00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,942

I'm sure everything

will be fine.

00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,777

Thank you, Chris.

00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,575

They know about

the bomb.

00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,410

That is impossible.

00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,494

We took every measure

to assure the bomb

00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,038

was hidden from sight!

00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,790

Well, somebody

tipped off the C.I.A.

00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,292

I don't know

how much they know,

00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,294

but security has been

heightened.

00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,005

That bomb must travel with

the Clinton rally to Boston.

00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,591

The bomb won't

make it to Boston now.

00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,134

With the heightened security

00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,636

it's only a matter of

time before they find it.

00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,597

Then we have no choice.

00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,724

We have to move up

the attack.

00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,351

I understand, comrade.

00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:51,977

Prepare yourself.

00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,980

We detonate

the bomb within the hour.

00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,487

Kyle, I'm at

the Clinton rally sight

00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,072

but there's no sign

of that kid.

00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,365

So then maybe

you're wrong.

00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,949

Nope, I'm not wrong.

00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,576

He must be somehow attacking

remotely from his house.

00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,286

Did you find

the address?

00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,246

Yeah, I cross-referenced his Myspace page with

Realtor.com.

00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,414

His parents moved into

that green house

00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,957

on Janis street.

00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,626

Jesus-- that's on

the other side of town.

00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:16,919

All right, Kyle, I'm gonna

take a picture

00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,128

with my camera phone

and upload it to you.

00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,588

Are you ready?

- Yeah.

00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,465

( chuckling )

00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,595

What is that?

- It's my balls!

00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,347

( laughing )

00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,640

God damn it, Cartman!

00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,308

Okay, okay, Kyle,

let's stay focused here.

00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,229

People of South Park,

it is my honor to introduce

00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,523

a woman who deserves

nothing but respect:

00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,484

Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton!

00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:41,902

( cheering )

00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,658

It is so nice to be back

in a small town

00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,411

like the one I came from!

00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:51,412

( cheering )

00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,330

Hildog!

00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,082

Woof, woof! Woof, woof!

Woof, woof! Woof, woof!

00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,167

Portis-- green-- anything

on that bomb threat?

00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,961

We have the bomb-sniffing pig

going through

00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,422

if there is a bomb,

the pig will find it.

00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,382

( snorting )

00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:09,138

This is why I campaign

in small towns like these.

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,890

Because it is in towns

like South Park

00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,726

that you find

the true America!

00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,854

( cheering )

00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,774

( snorting )

00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:21,775

Oh, my God,

she's got a scent.

00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,193

What?

00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,154

The pig is picking up

the smell of nuclear residue!

00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,613

Terrorists have

hidden a bomb!

00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,157

Oh, my God-- where?

00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,575

Where could they have

stashed it?

00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,325

Come on, girl, find it!

00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,702

Find!

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,203

My God, they hid it

under the stage?

00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,413

No, wait, look.

00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,956

How much money

do we have to waste

00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,541

on needless spending,

00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:42,421

when we should be focusing all

our attention on-- uh.

00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,755

On the education of our--

00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,549

whoo, ha-ha!

00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,259

Whoa there, girl!

00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,302

Ha-ha ha.

00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,637

On the education of

our children!

00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,558

Ohh, I declare!

00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,309

Oh, my God.

00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,060

Do you think they could

have hidden

00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,272

a nuclear device

up Mrs. Clinton's...

00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,899

Mr. Thompson,

that kid who called in

00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,275

the warning was right.

00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,277

We uncovered intel that

terrorists have obtained

00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,112

a nuclear device,

00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,615

and that they have most likely

hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's...

00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,492

Well, in her...

00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,535

In her what?

00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,787

In her snatch, sir.

00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,206

What?!

00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,499

What is going on?

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:19,875

I wasn't finished.

00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,126

Security measure,

Mrs. Clinton.

00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,586

Probably nothing.

( phone ringing )

00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,254

Yes?

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,632

Mr. Jefferies, this is

Alan Thompson with the C.I.A.

00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,217

We have reason to believe

that Mrs. Clinton

00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,470

may have a nuclear

device up her snatch.

00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,679

A what?!

00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,056

A snatch.

00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,141

It's the technical

term for vagina.

00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477

No, I mean what

kind of nuclear device?

00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,063

Mr. Jefferies,

this is Frank Waters.

00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,648

It's a suitcase nuke

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,484

designed to fit

in a woman's sniz.

00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,693

It's called a snuke.

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,654

What is going on, Brian?!

00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,113

Mrs. Clinton, it appears

that terrorists have

00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,866

snuck a snuke

up your sniz.

00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,867

Oh, my!

00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,077

What do we do?

00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,495

Can we disable

the timer?

00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,913

It won't have a timer.

00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,540

Snukes are detonated

remotely.

00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,792

Whoever our terrorist is

has the detonator with him.

00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,377

But then that means...

00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,170

Yes, if we don't find

that detonator,

00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,382

everyone in the town of

South Park is going to die...

00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,134

Forever.

00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,981

Do we have that

phone trace?

00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,816

Call is going through

now, sir.

00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,025

( phone ringing )

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,068

Yeah.

00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,486

This is C.I.A. head

Alan Thompson.

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612

We spoke

before about the--

00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,738

Yes, Mr. Thompson.

00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:32,990

We've just arrived

in your town.

00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,616

Why?

Did you find something?

00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,911

Yes, there's a suitcase nuke

in Mrs. Clinton's sniz.

00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,621

A snuke?

00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,039

That's right.

00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,708

It's controlled

by a remote detonator.

00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,043

We have to locate the terrorist

before he sets it off.

00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:45,919

I have the address

of the house

00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,254

the terrorist moved into.

00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,714

I'm almost there now,

where are you?

00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,840

We're on the town's

main street,

00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,425

right by an

ice-cream shop.

00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:52,718

Oh, dude,

I'm right next to you.

00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,804

Oh, hey.

00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,724

Dude, we totally

got let out of school.

00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,475

I know, something big

is going on.

00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,769

Take a look at this-

I did a Google search for

00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,229

Hillary Clinton

campaign rally, right?

00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,731

And one of the links

was to YouTube,

00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,524

where this Russian guy had a bunch of videos.

00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:08,734

Russian?

00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,485

Yeah, this guy,

Vladimir Stolfsky.

00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,279

He had videos on youtube

of every single rally.

00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,947

So he's a

Hillary Clinton fan.

00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,742

No, I cross-referenced his

YouTube profile with Myspace,

00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,285

and according to his blog,

00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,453

he's an old-school

communist.

00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,121

So what's he doing

at every Clinton rally?

00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,040

Do a WebCrawler search.

00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,833

Maybe he has

podcasts up somewhere.

00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,084

Oh, that's a good idea.

00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,544

( sirens blaring )

00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,670

What is going on?!

00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,589

What have we done?!

00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,965

They claim they don't know

anything about an attack.

00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,216

Big surprise.

00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,218

Sir, first pass

of the house--

00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,346

we didn't find

a snuke detonator anywhere.

00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,890

Mr. Hakeem,

where is your son?

00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:40,766

We thought he

was at school.

00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,100

He's not at school?

00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,437

Doing great, Mrs. Clinton.

00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,938

Do they know

how long, Brian?

00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,191

How long before the snuke

in my sniz goes off?

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,735

They'll find

the detonator, Hildog.

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,404

We can't wait for them

to find the detonator.

00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,157

If we can get to the bomb,

maybe we can deactivate it.

00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,784

Can't somebody go

00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:02,329

and take a look inside

Mrs. Clinton's sniz?

00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,165

I'm not sending any

of my men in there.

00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,418

Are you almost ready

to set off the bomb?

00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,795

Everything is set.

00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,089

We have the detonator

up and running.

00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,804

Mr. Hakeem, we need to

know where your son is.

00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,514

I tell you I do not know.

00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,015

( sighs )

00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,101

This is getting

us nowhere.

00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,311

If he knows anything,

he's not saying.

00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,479

Let me have

time with him.

00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,980

What are you

going to do?

00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,482

We have to find

that detonator.

00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,526

Let me have

time with him.

00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,071

You will tell me

where your son is.

00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,699

He should be at school.

00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:45,330

( farts )

00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,581

Hey!

00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,708

( farts )

00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,668

Where is the detonator?

00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,462

What detonator are you--

( farts )

00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,131

( farts )

00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,424

I can do this all day.

00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,175

I don't know

anything about a--

00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,636

( farts )

00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,596

Ah... Oh!

00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,432

Stop it... Really!

00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:04,683

You can make it stop.

00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:08,645

I don't have a--

( farts )

00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,021

Are we just gonna

let this go on?

00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,606

( farts )

00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,650

Okay, I got a text of the Russian guy's podcast.

00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,235

It's all a bunch of

links to eBay.

00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,070

You should be able to

search his username on eBay

00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,905

and see what he's been

buying and selling.

00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,365

Farris, setup over there.

00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,575

Two of you can

take that bed area.

00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993

Hey.

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,786

Donner, take over

that station.

00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,413

What's going on?

00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,582

This department is being

absorbed by homeland security.

00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,834

Homeland security?

00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,127

Look, your little game

00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,211

of going over people's

heads is over.

00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,796

You can still work

00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,798

but from now on you answer

to me-- you got that?

00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,133

Excuse me--

who's in charge here?

00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,468

I am.

00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,094

Yeah, well not any more,

you're not.

00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,846

This department has just

been assigned to the F.B.I.

00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,139

That's outrageous!

00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,432

On who's order?!

00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:46,767

On order of

the secretary of defense.

00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852

You had your shot,

now I'm in charge.

00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,395

Not any more you're not.

00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,772

Orders just came down

from central.

00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,774

They want A.T.F.

Handling this on all fronts.

00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,026

All right, people, from now on

you are answering to me.

00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,694

Not anymore

they're not.

00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:58,987

Orders from the president.

00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,864

He wants this handled

by his staff personally.

00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,074

Now Nelson is in charge.

00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,327

Not any more I'm not.

00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,581

What are you going to

do to my wife?

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,167

Nothing, if you tell me

where your son is.

00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,461

We told you,

we don't know!

00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,671

Do you know

what this is?

00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,965

This is apple juice.

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,510

It gives me

super-bad farts.

00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,846

Did he just inject himself

with apple juice?

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181

Where is your son?

00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,766

She doesn't know either!

00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,976

( farts )

Ooh, ooh!

00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,353

I mean it, stop!

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,395

That is disgusting!

00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,814

Where is your mother?

00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,024

( phone ringing )

00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,693

Answer it.

00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530

Hello-- hello, Baahir.

00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,532

Where are you?

00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,575

Who is Butters?

00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,202

Butters.

00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,787

Baahir, one of your classmates

is keeping us hostage--

00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,623

( farts )

Ah, ah!

00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,834

Oh, you filthy little

rapscallion!

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,544

We got him!

I know where he is!

00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,753

All right, where?

00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,088

We'll send our

people in.

00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,589

No, no, he's my lead.

00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,632

You're not going alone!

00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,217

You blow in there

and you risk taking him down

00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,760

without finding

the detonator.

00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,638

I'm going to

find out where it is.

00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,139

All right, people,

I'm in charge now

00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141

and we will find these

terrorists.

00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,477

Jarvis, I want you to check for

any terrorist chatter on A.O.L.

00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,646

Marley and Gregs, try searching

for nuclear devices

00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,773

on AskJeeves.com.

00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316

Askjeeves?

Nobody uses AskJeeves!

00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,568

Just Google search it.

00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,403

Are you telling me

how to do my job?

00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,947

Yes, there's a Russian guy named Vladimir

Stolfsky

00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,574

who's got search-engine hits

all over this thing.

00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,868

Chase, search the

name Stolfsky on YouTube

00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,911

and cross-reference

it with JDate!

00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,079

Checking.

00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,706

Look, these Russian guys all have blogs

00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:33,999

talking about this like

it's just some diversion

00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,500

for something

much bigger.

00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,168

Sir, these kids are right.

00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,795

We've just received intel that Russian terrorists

00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,463

are believed to be

responsible for the threat.

00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,132

Where is the intel from?

00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,758

We just read it on Drudge Report.

00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,427

Look, we already

have the guy's blog.

00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,386

Maybe we can find

an address

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,846

and check it out on MapQuest.

00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,307

We do this my way,

I'm the one in charge!

00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,809

Not any more

you're not.

00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,269

Oh, snap!

00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,688

Whoopie!

00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,481

I captured another one

of your pieces, Baahir!

00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,482

Ahh!

00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:02,777

Oh, hey, Eric.

00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,154

Where is

the detonator?!

00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,864

The what?

00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,490

You have exactly five seconds

before I start dropping

00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,159

serious apple-juice

farts in your face!

00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,493

One!

Leave me alone!

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,203

Stop!

00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,540

Hey, I was about to win!

00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,876

Stop, terrorist,

or I will shoot you!

00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,173

( guns cocking )

Get in the van.

00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,343

Uh, that's cool.

00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,136

I'm actually not

playing anymore.

00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,222

( guns cocking again )

Get in the van!

00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,307

That's it!

00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,600

We don't have

a choice anymore!

00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,644

Somebody is going to

have to go in

00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,437

and try to disarm

the snuke manually.

00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,147

No, it's too dangerous.

00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,107

That snatch has not seen

action in over 30 years.

00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,859

It could be toxic.

00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,819

I'll do it.

00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,864

I'll check out

Mrs. Clinton's sniz.

00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,869

Let me go-- please!

00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,454

I'm just a

little boy!

00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,415

You called and warned

the government of our plans.

00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,710

What you don't know is that

we are simply mercenaries.

00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,296

We were paid

to set off the snuke

00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,757

so that the real enemy of

America could attack!

00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:06,925

That's cool.

00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,635

I'm fine with

Muslims invading.

00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,888

You really think Muslims are

behind this terrorist threat?

00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,849

Uh, yes, of course.

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769

America had other enemies

before the Muslims, you know.

00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,146

Who is America's

oldest enemy?

00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,148

The Russians?

00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,692

Before that.

00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,651

The Germans?

00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236

Before that!

00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:27,988

The Germans again?

00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,489

Before that!

00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,033

I am talking about the oldest

threat to America.

00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,870

The greatest enemy

America has ever known!

00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,580

You can't possibly mean--

00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,838

200 years we've waited.

00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:49,175

Finally... We will get

those traitors to the crown!

00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,844

( cell phone ringing )

00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,971

Yes, Your Majesty.

00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,016

The Russians are ready to

set off the diversion.

00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,726

Full sail!

00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,978

Full sail, Your Majesty.

00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,657

All right,

Brian, this is it.

00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,534

Get in there and see

if you can

00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,495

disarm the snuke in

Mrs. Clinton's snatch.

00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,084

All right, I'm nearing

her sniz now.

00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,210

God help him.

00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,879

What do you see, Brian?

00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,590

It's dark, cold.

00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,966

You're doing fine, Brian.

00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,468

Get as close

as you can.

00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,720

You have to

look inside the sniz.

00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,514

Ugh... Agh.

00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,392

All right, I'm looking.

00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,395

Yes, I see...

I see the device.

00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,064

( coughing )

00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,316

You're doing great, Brian,

hang in there.

00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,902

There's a metal housing,

00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,029

some kind of three-pronged

triggering mechanism...

00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,115

Wait, there's--

there's something else here!

00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,576

There's something...

00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,078

Say again, Brian.

00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:00,163

There's something perched

on the snuke's core.

00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,581

It's...

00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,583

Oh, God,

it's looking at me!

00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,876

Brian, get out of there!

00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,212

What... What are you?!

00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,838

I have no quarrels

with you!

00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,298

Stay back!

00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,300

Stay back, I--

agh-agh!

00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,094

Brian-- Brian,

what's happening?!

00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,513

It's...

Eating my head!

00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,598

It's eating my head!

00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,393

Oh, my!

00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,772

I got it,

I got it!

00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,107

According to PayPal,

the Russian guys are

00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,942

just hired mercenaries

who had ads up on Craigslist

00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,527

and got paid through eBay

00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,363

so that Boston could be

attacked by... The British.

00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:34,572

The British?

00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,491

Loyalist red coats!

00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,660

Sir, I've found the Russian's eHarmony account.

00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,870

It does list an

address in South Park.

00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,163

All right, MapQuest the address!

00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,332

I'll use Google maps--

it has live traffic.

00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542

Good thinking.

00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293

Sir we have

the terrorists location.

00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,254

I.M.ing you now.

00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,756

It was good

knowing you, comrade.

00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,716

Please, think about

what you are doing.

00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,051

The British are

just using you.

00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:56,511

You're going to die.

00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,680

Yes, but we will be rich.

00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,723

( man yelling ) Left flank,

breach flank and clear!

00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,142

Go, go, go...

00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,477

( all yelling )

00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,478

The game is over!

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,813

Get down on

the ground!

00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523

How did they find us?

00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,150

We know about everything.

00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,985

Your diversion to help

the red coats is over.

00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,528

It doesn't matter.

00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,280

The detonator

is on a timer.

00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,407

You are too late.

00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,160

In three minutes.

00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,291

What the hell?

00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,500

( man )

The power went out.

00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,502

So then what

time is it?

00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,090

Oh, crap.

00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,508

Take 'em down!

00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,513

No!

00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,850

I don't want to die

without being paid!

00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,768

Ugh!

00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,480

The detonator is

secure, general.

00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,066

You are clear to proceed.

00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,117

The rebel Americans

know of our attack?!

00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,327

How?

00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,996

Fire at will!

00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,417

( all screaming )

00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,755

( phone ringing )

00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,423

Yes?

00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,134

Your Majesty,

the attack has failed.

00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:23,223

We were... Unable to end

the American revolution.

00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,474

I see...

00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,644

( blam! )

00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,148

Well, looks like we've

saved our country

00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,733

from British rule once again.

00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,652

Yeah, it just proves

we need to learn not to

00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,111

profile one race of people.

00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,781

Because actually most of

the world hates us.

00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,949

Well, Baahir,

I was thinking that

00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,408

maybe I owe you

an apology.

00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,327

Really?

00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,287

Yes, but then I realized that,

technically, I don't.

00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,705

Because by being

suspicious of you,

00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,374

I saved your life and

everyone else's.

00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,334

So, really,

you owe me an apology.

00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,877

But that's cool.

00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,128

You didn't

save everyone!

00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,421

I did!

00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,298

You were just out

harassing Muslims!

00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,758

But if I hadn't called you

in the first place

00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,426

to check out the Muslims,

00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,262

you would have just stayed

in bed sick all day, right?

00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,263

Maybe.

00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:05,098

Maybe?

00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,182

If I hadn't called you,

you wouldn't have been

00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,600

on your computer checking out

the Clinton rally.

00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,603

That means my intolerance

of Muslims saved America.

00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,063

That is so

missing the point.

00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,773

Me being a bigot

stopped a nuclear bomb

00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,733

from going off--

yes or no?

00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,193

That's not the right

way to look at it--

00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,528

Yes or no, Kyle?

00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,780

NO... Not...

Not like you're saying.

00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,323

But that's all I'm saying.

00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,825

Today bigotry

and racism saved the day.

00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,368

Baahir, you get this,

right?

00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,370

Baahir, get away from

that disgusting child!

00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,163

Get back home and start

packing your things!

00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:33,209

We are leaving this

whole intolerant country!

00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,169

Aww!

00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,925

Okay, who got rid of

the Muslims, huh?

00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,343

That was all me.

00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,470

A simple thank you

will suffice.