Мандомба — Хиллари Клинтон приезжает в Южный Парк в рамках своей предвыборной кампании. Картман расследует террористический заговор. Пародия на телесериал «24 часа».

Предыдущая серия S11 E03 Вшивые приключения

Следующая серия S11 E05 Чудесная пасхальная история

Мандомба

The Snuke

Сезон: 11Серия: 04

Описание

Хиллари Клинтон приезжает в Южный Парк в рамках своей предвыборной кампании. Картман расследует террористический заговор. Пародия на телесериал «24 часа».

Субтитры

00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:09,800 Всё by 4elovek. Редактирование перевода by Saddam.
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:14,800 Замечания и советы в ПМ на http://southpark.org.ru/forum/
00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,430 Добрый день, ребята, рассаживайтесь по местам.
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:46,110 Постарайтесь быть милыми, потому что сегодня к нам присоединяется новый ученик.
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,110 И я уверена, вы примете его хорошо.
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,330 Скажите "Привет... Бахир Хасан Абдул Хаким!"
00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:59,450 Добро пожаловать в наш класс, Бахир!
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:00,240 Спасибо.
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:01,970 Чувак, чувак! НЕ КРУТО!
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,340 Почему бы тебе не сесть за парту Кайла, пока он отсутствует.
00:01:04,710 --> 00:01:05,250 ОК
00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:12,690 Эрик, какого чёрта! Что с тобой не так?
00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:14,120 Что не так?
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:16,690 Его проверили? У него нет бомбы?
00:01:16,850 --> 00:01:20,140 Эрик, хватит! Не все мусульмане террористы!
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,950 Не все, но большинство из них. И всё что требуется - это большинство.
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,020 Твоя очередь, Бахир!
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:45,630 Да...
00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:47,200 Кайл, ты за компом?
00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:48,930 Че? Нет, я болею.
00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:50,540 Лезь в инет. Мне надо, чтобы ты кое что проверил.
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,320 Оставь меня в покое.
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,870 Кайл! Всем нашим друзьям, возможно, угрожает большая опасность.
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,430 Что? Почему?
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,730 Быстро в инет!
00:01:58,130 --> 00:01:58,770 Хорошо, хорошо.
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:02,730 Зайди на MySpace
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,640 Посмотри, есть ли там страница Бихира Хакима.
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:11,330 Ба-хир Ха-ким. Родился в Чикаго, восемь лет, любимый цвет - зелёный.
00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:12,780 Картмэн, к чему всё это?
00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:16,290 Кайл, проверь список его друзей. Сколько их там?
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:17,490 Больше сотни.
00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:20,120 Глянь внизу страницы, есть там его любимая группа?
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:21,860 White Stripes
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,410 Забавно.
00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:24,240 Что?
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,020 Сегодня в классе он сказал всем, что это Blink 182.
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,970 Действие происходит между сортиром и классом географии.
00:02:39,140 --> 00:02:39,840 Алло...
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:43,140 Офицер Барбрэди, начальная школа Саус Парка под угрозой!
00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:45,550 Под какой угрозой? Кто это?
00:02:48,570 --> 00:02:50,070 Слова одного мусульманина не совпадают с данными его страницы на MySpace. Вы должны вывести людей, сейчас же!
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:52,540 Вы серьёзно?
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,830 Если бы это было не серьёзно, говорил бы я так?
00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:56,170 Как?
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,220 Шепотом, но очень громким шепотом - для пущего драматизма.
00:02:58,830 --> 00:02:59,940 Ооо, Иисус!
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:04,800 Что за чёрт?
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,380 Всем учащимся! Немедленно покинуть школу!!!
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,650 Эй, Бахир! Раз уж нас отпустили, может пойдем ко мне? Поиграем в шашки?
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,020 Давай.
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:18,900 Класс!
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:21,850 Ёпт.
00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:26,180 Да.
00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,860 Чувак, я только что получил сообщение от Стэна об эвакуации в школе.
00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,610 Ну теперь-то ты веришь? Что-то происходит!
00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:31,640 Похоже на то...
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:33,750 И все-таки, что-то не клеится.
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,000 Что именно?
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:38,730 Зачем террористам взрывать школу? Это не главная их цель. Если только...
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:40,820 Бог ты мой!
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,360 Если только это не отвлечение внимания.
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:46,670 Кайл, найди в Google Торговую Палату Саус Парка.
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:47,340 Ок.
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:50,740 Там должна быть информация о событиях. Будет сегодня в городе что-то серьёзное?
00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:52,540 Да, есть кое-что.
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:53,140 Что?
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,290 Выступление Хиллари Клинтон в рамках предвыборной кампании.
00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:58,310 Картмэн? Картмэн???
00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:06,130 Сэр! Звонит кто-то и предупреждает о готовящемся покушении на Хиллари Клинтон.
00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:07,340 Что?
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,710 Это глава ЦРУ, Аллан Томпсон.
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:13,760 Мистер Томпсон, вы должны отменить выступление. В Саус Парке террорист.
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:14,880 Что вам известно?
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,570 Он просто появился тут...Мне нужно поговорить с президентом.
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,260 Я глава ЦРУ! Говорите мне.
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,230 Я сказал! Я буду говорить только с президентом!!!
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,210 Послушайте, если у вас есть данные об угрозе? вы може-
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:26,820 Я могу вас арестовать!
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:28,800 Я ничего не слышу! Только президент!
00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:34,020 Вам звонят, господин президент.
00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:34,910 Ало?
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,450 Президент Буш, это Эрик Картмэн. Линия защищена?
00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:38,590 Ааа? Кто?
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,020 Ладно, я знаю, вы не большой поклонник ХиллДог... Но она сейчас в большой беде.
00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:42,830 ХиллДог?
00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:49,750 Да, я понимаю. Да, сообщу Мисс Клинтон.
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:51,350 Что такое, Брайн?
00:04:51,770 --> 00:04:55,560 Мисс Клинтон, мы только что получили сообщение о возможном терракте во время вашего выступления.
00:04:56,090 --> 00:04:57,420 Угроза серьёзная?
00:04:57,670 --> 00:05:00,330 Мы не уверены, но наверное лучше всё отменить.
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,780 Нет! И нет! Меня не запугать угрозами террористов!
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:08,620 Ваши люди хорошо работают, Брайн. Уверена, об угрозе позаботятся.
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,880 Мы достигли места сбора, ХиллДог.
00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:17,030 Не беспокойтесь, миссис Клинтон. Всё будет отлично.
00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:18,140 Спасибо, Крис.
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,730 Они знают о бомбе!
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:29,560 Это невозможно! Мы все просчитали так, чтобы её не было видно!
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:34,720 Кто-то стукнул в ЦРУ. Не знаю, много ли им известно, но охрана предупреждена.
00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:38,240 Эта бомба должна доехать вместе с Клинтон до Бостона.
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:44,110 Никаких шансов. Все раскроется. Это лишь вопрос времени.
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:48,780 Значит у нас нет выбора. Надо перенести атаку.
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,330 Я понимаю, комрад.
00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:55,550 Готовьтесь. Мы взорвём бомбу в течении часа!
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,820 Кайл, я на митинге. Но этого пацана не видно.
00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:04,590 Так может ты ошибся?
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:08,680 Нет, я не ошибся. Скорее всего он как-то дистанционно управляет всем этим из своего дома. Ты нашел адрес?
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:13,740 Да, я сопоставил его страницу на MySpace с данными realtor.com. Его родители перехали в тот зеленый дом на улице Janice.
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:18,680 Боже,это же на другом конце города. Так, Кайл, я собираюсь сделать фото мобильником и залить тебе. Готов?
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:19,600 Ага.
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:25,540 Что это?
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,030 Это мои яйца!!!
00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:29,790 Чтоб тебя, Картмэн!
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,920 Ладно, ладно. Кайл, давай сосредоточимся.
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:38,080 Жители Саус Парка. Для меня большая честь представить вам женщину, которая не заслуживает ничего кроме уважения.
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,350 Миссис Хиллари Родхэм Клинтон!
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:50,810 Это так замечательно. Вернуться в маленький городок, такой же из какого я родом.
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:53,630 ХиллДог!
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:57,110 Отис Грин, есть что-нибудь насчет бомбы?
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,950 У нас тут специально обученная свинья. Прочесываем толпу, если взрывчатка есть - она найдет.
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:09,090 Почему я выступаю в маленьких городах, таких, как этот?
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:15,110 Потому что именно в таких местах, как Саус Парк, можно найти настоящую Америку!
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:22,090 О мой бог! Она взяла след!
00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:22,970 Что??
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,470 Свинья нашла следы радиации! Террористы действительно ЗАЛОЖИЛИ бомбу!
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:29,340 Боже мой! Куда они могли её спрятать?
00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,510 Давай, ищи! Ищи!
00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:33,300 Неужели под сценой?
00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:34,350 Нет, погодите-ка...
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:40,520 Сколько можно тратить деньги в пустую, когда мы должны фокусировать всё своё внимание на...
00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:44,610 ...на образовании наших...
00:07:48,310 --> 00:07:50,710 ...на образовании наших детей!
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:54,270 Оох, я настаиваю!
00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:59,580 Господи! Ты думаешь, они могли спрятать ядерное устройство у миссис Клинтон в...
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:03,440 Мистер Томпсон! Этот пацан, который сообщил об угрозе, был прав!
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,410 Мы выяснили, что террористы заполучили-таки ядерный заряд.
00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:11,660 И вероятнее всего, он спрятан у миссис Клинтон в... ну, в её...
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,730 Где у неё??
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:15,300 У неё в манде, сэр.
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:17,050 ЧТО???
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:19,850 Что происходит? Я не закончила!
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,390 Это в целях безопасности, миссис Клинтон. Скорее всего, ничего особенного.
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:23,880 Да.
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,530 Мистер Джефри, это Алан Томпсон, ЦРУ.
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:31,980 У нас есть основания полагать, то ядерное устройство может находится у миссис Клинтон... в манде.
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,010 У неё ГДЕ?
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:36,150 В манде! Это техническое определение вагины.
00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:38,550 Да нет же! О каком типе ядерного устройства идёт речь?
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:43,050 Мистер Джефри, это Фрэнк Уотерс. Речь о компактном ядерном заряде.
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:45,300 Разработанный так, чтобы помещаться в женскую пилотку.
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:46,460 Называется - мандомба.
00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:48,480 Что происходит, Брайн?
00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:52,210 Миссис Клинтон, похоже террористы спрятали мандомбу у вас в щели.
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:56,180 Что нам делать? Мы можем вырубить таймер?
00:08:56,380 --> 00:09:01,870 У него нет таймера. Подрыв происходит дистанционно. Кем бы ни был наш террорист - детонатор у него.
00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:03,140 Выходит, что...
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:08,430 Да! Если мы не найдем этот детонатор, то все в Саус Парке погибнут!
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,040 НАВСЕГДА
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,190 У нас есть связь?
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,630 Да, он на линии, сэр.
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:27,640 Да.
00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:30,660 Это Алан Томпсон, ЦРУ, мы говорили раньше...
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:31,510 Да, мистер Томпсон!
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,010 Мы только что прибыли в ваш город.
00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:34,170 Зачем? Вы что-то нашли?
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,520 Да, это компактный ядерный заряд в манде миссис Клинтон.
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:39,500 Мандомба?
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:44,600 Так точно. Он управляется дистанционным детонатором. Надо найти террористов прежде, чем они всё взорвут.
00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:48,270 У меня есть адрес дома, в который они переехали. Я почти на месте. Где вы?
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,400 Мы на центральной улице, напротив магазина с мороженым.
00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:53,080 Опа, чувак! Так и я тут же.
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:55,400 Ага, привет.
00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:58,800 Слышь, мы из школы свалили!
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,520 Я в курсе. Происходит что-то серьёзное. Взгляни ка на это.
00:10:01,690 --> 00:10:04,230 Я пошарил в Гугле насчет предвыборного турне Хиллари Клинтон, так?
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,500 Есть ссылка на YouTube, где один русский тип держит кучу видео.
00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:08,400 Русский?
00:10:08,590 --> 00:10:12,970 Да, вот он! Владимир Столфский. У него тут записи всех выступлений.
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,280 Так может он фанат Хиллари?
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:19,260 Не, по профилю на YouTube я нашел его в MySpace. И судя по его блогу - он убеждённый коммунист.
00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:21,180 Так че ж ему делать на митингах Клинтон?
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,810 Ну поищи на WebCrawler, наверняка есть подкаст для распространения этого видео.
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,770 Да, хорошая мысль...
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:29,480 Что происходит? Что мы сделали?
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,350 Они утверждают, что ничего не знают об атаке.
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,520 Удивили!
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:37,190 Сэр, мы обыскали дом. Детонатора для мандомбы нигде нет.
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,980 Мистер Хаким, где ваш сын?
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,140 Мы думали, он в школе. Он не там?
00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:45,520 Вы молодец, мисс Клинтон.
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:49,780 Они знают, Брайн? Через какое время мандомба рванёт у меня в пилотке?
00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:52,140 Они найдут детонатор, ХиллДог.
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:57,760 Мы не можем ждать, пока они найдут детонатор. Может, если добраться до бомбы, то получиться её обезвредить?
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,130 Может кто-нибудь пойти и пошукать у миссис Клинтон в манде?
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,620 Я не отправлю никого из своих людей туда.
00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:08,160 Вы уже готовы подорвать заряд?
00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:11,800 Все под контролем. Детонатор активирован, время тикает.
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,970 Господин Хаким, нам надо знать, где ваш сын?
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,880 Я же сказал, я не знаю.
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,170 Это ни к чему нас не приведёт.
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:26,120 Если он что-то и знает, то не говорит.
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,610 Позвольте, я попытаюсь...
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,780 Что ты собираешься делать?
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,090 Мы обязаны найти детонатор. Пустите меня к нему!
00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,470 Ты скажешь мне, где твой сын.
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,800 Он должен быть в школе!
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:46,970 Эй!
00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:49,490 Где детонатор?
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,590 О каком еще детонаторе ты гово-
00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:55,860 Я могу делать это ВЕЕЕСЬ день.
00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:57,690 Но я ничего не знаю об эт-
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,440 Остановись! В натуре!
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,770 Ты можешь это прекратить!
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:05,840 У меня нет ника-
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,550 Неужели мы просто позволим этому продолжаться?
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,160 Так, я нашел подкаст этого русского. Тут много ссылок на eBay.
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:18,470 По его логину ты можешь посмотреть, что он покупал и продавал там.
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:21,840 Феррис, ставь это сюда! Двое могут расположиться на этой койке.
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:22,380 Эй?!
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,090 Доннер, садись за этот компьютер.
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:25,850 Что происходит?
00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:28,880 Это помещение переходит службе национальной безопасности.
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,080 Национальной безопасности?!
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,880 Ваши игры кончились!
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,080 Вы можете продолжать работать, но с этого момента подчиняетесь мне! ЯСНО?
00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:38,500 Простите, кто здесь главный?
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,590 Я.
00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:41,110 Уже нет!
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,140 Это помещение теперь принадлежит ФБР.
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,110 Это немыслимо!!! По чьему приказу?
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:48,570 По приказу советника по безопасности. Вы сделали своё дело, теперь я главный!
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,000 Уже нет!
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:54,010 Приказ с самого верха. Они хотят чтобы этим занялся антитеррористический департамент.
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,200 Итак, господа. Теперь все подчиняются мне!
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,760 Уже не подчиняются!
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,380 Приказ президента. Он желает, чтобы это контролировали его люди.
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:02,800 Теперь Нельсон командует.
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,970 Ни фига подобного! Уже не командую!
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,760 Что ты собираешься сделать с моей женой?
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:10,500 Ничего.
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,080 Если скажете, где ваш сын.
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,030 Уже сказали! Мы не знаем.
00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:15,770 Знаете, что это?
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,160 Это яблочный сок.
00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:21,150 От него у меня термоядерный пердёж!
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,640 Неужто он вколол себе яблочный сок?
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,030 Где твой сын???
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,500 Она тоже не знает!
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,520 Я серьёзно! Остановись!
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,780 Это отвратительно! Где твоя мать?
00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:38,710 Ответь!
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,410 Алло...
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:41,580 Да, Бахир...
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:42,990 Где ты находишься?
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,280 Кто такой Бат-терс???
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:46,310 БАТТЕРС.
00:13:46,470 --> 00:13:49,320 Бахир, один из твоих одноклассников держит нас в заложниках!
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,760 Ааахх ты! Мелкий гадкий негодяй!
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,860 Сработало! Я знаю, где он.
00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:57,440 Хорошо, где? Скажи, мы пошлём туда людей.
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:58,930 Нет, нет. Я сам.
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,140 Ты не пойдешь один!
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:05,280 Вы вломитесь туда и, возможно, убьёте его, ничего не узнав о детонаторе! А я собираюсь его найти.
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:09,790 Так, народ. Я теперь главный. И мы найдем этого террориста.
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,780 Джервис, ищи любую террористическую болтовню на AOL.
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:16,610 Марли и Григс, ищите инфу о ядерных устройствах на askjeeves.com
00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:20,000 Ask Jeeves??? Никто им уже не пользуется. Только Гугл - ищите там.
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,250 Ты будешь говорить, как мне работать?
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:25,680 Да! Это русский тип - Владимир Столвский. На него указывают Указывают результаты поиска по всем эти запросам.
00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:29,720 Чейз, ищи имя Владимир Столвский на ютубе и ссылки оттуда на JDate.
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:30,800 Проверяю!
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:35,360 Слушайте, все эти русские в блогах пишут о том, что это лишь ширма для чего-то гораздо большего!
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:40,980 Сэр, эти ребята правы. Мы только что получили донесение, что русские взяли на себя ответственность за угрозу.
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,360 Откуда данные?
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:43,860 Мы прочли это в Drudge Report.
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:47,740 Смотрите, у нас ведь есть его блог. Может получится узнать адрес и и проверить его на MapQuest.
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:50,110 Мы сделаем это по-моему!!! Я тут главный!
00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:52,580 Уже нет!
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,390 Вот облом...
00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:58,710 Ааггаа, я съел еще одну твою шашку, Бахир!
00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:02,790 Опаньки... привет, Эрик.
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:04,660 Где детонатор???
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:05,440 Чего??
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:09,120 У тебя есть ровно пять секунд, прежде чем я начну выпускать ужасные газы от яблочного сока тебе в рожу.
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,040 Раз!
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:10,950 Отвали от меня!
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:14,930 Эй! Я ж почти выиграл...
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,600 Стой, террорист! Я то я тебя пристрелю!
00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:22,530 Лезьте в фургон!
00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:28,240 Ну...ладненько. Вообще-то я больше не играю.
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,220 БЫСТРО В ФУРГОН!!!
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:37,690 Всё! У нас нет выбора! Кто-то должен добраться до мандомбы и попытаться обезвредить её вручную.
00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,250 Нет! Это слишком опасно!
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:43,090 Эту манду никто не трогал уже 30 лет. Она может быть токсична!
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:45,020 Я сделаю это.
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,660 Я проверю пилотку мисс Клинтон.
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:54,640 Отпустите меня! Пожалуйста! Я всего лишь маленький мальчик!
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,580 Ты предупредил правительство о наших планах.
00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:00,970 Чего ты не знаешь, это то, что мы просто наёмники.
00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:06,020 Нам заплатили за установку мандомбы. Так что истинные враги Америки могут нападать!
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,450 Ну и ладно. Я не против мусульманского вторжения.
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,850 Ты серьезно считаешь, что за этим стоят мусульмане?
00:16:13,150 --> 00:16:14,660 ...да...конечно...
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,940 Неплохо бы тебе знать, что у Америки есть враги и помимо мусульман.
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,450 Кто старейший враг Америки?
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:21,980 Русские?
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,630 Перед этим?
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:24,880 Немцы?
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:26,280 Перед этим!?
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,250 Опять немцы?
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,900 ПЕРЕД ЭТИМ!!! Я говорю и старейшей угрозе Америке!
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,860 О величашем враге, известном вашей стране!
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,110 Неужели вы имеете в виду...
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:45,720 200 лет мы ждали. Наконец-то!
00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:48,620 Мы заставим этих изменников служить короне!
00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:52,220 Слушаю, ваше величество.
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,880 Русские готовы провести отвлекающий манёвр.
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:57,810 Поднять паруса!
00:16:58,330 --> 00:16:59,810 Поднять паруса, ваше величество?
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,430 Ок, Брайн. Лезь туда и посмотри, сможешь ли ты обезвредить мандомбу в пилотке миссис Клинтон.
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,450 Хорошо.
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,980 Я рядом с её мандой.
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,420 Да поможет ему господь.
00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:25,860 Что ты видишь, Брайн?
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,150 Тут темно...
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:28,640 ...холодно.
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:33,580 Отлично, молодец. Двигайся дальше. Попытайся заглянуть внутрь.
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:38,950 Так... я смотрю.
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,640 Да! Я вижу...
00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:42,290 ...я вижу устройство.
00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:46,600 Прекрасно, Брайн. Держись!
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,050 У него...
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:48,320 ...металлический корпус.
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:51,370 Спусковой механизм с тремя зубцами.
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,070 Постойте... тут...
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,810 ...что-то еще здесь!
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,220 Что-то!
00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:58,180 Повтори, Брайн.
00:17:58,490 --> 00:18:00,940 Что-то сидит на корпусе мандомбы.
00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:03,300 Боже! Оно смотрит на меня!
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:04,960 Брайн, убирайся оттуда!!!
00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:09,360 Что ты такое? Я не боюсь тебя!
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:09,980 Стой!
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:11,490 Стой, я ска-
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,170 Брайн, Брайн! Что происходит???
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:18,670 Оно жрёт мою голову!!! Оно жрёт мою голову!!!
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,820 Есть! Я нашёл!
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:32,250 Суда по данным с PayPal, русские - всего лишь наёмники. Их услуги оплачены через eBuy. И всё это, чтобы нас могли атаковать...
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,600 Британцы.
00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:34,650 Британцы?
00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:36,090 Верноподданные красные мундиры.
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,220 Сэр, я нашел аккаунт русских на eHarmony!
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:40,850 Тут упоминается адрес в Саус Парке!
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,650 Ок, теперь вычислим где это, с помощью MapQuest!
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,660 Я воспользуюсь Google Maps - у неё живой трафик.
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:45,490 Соображаешь!
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:48,550 Сэр, у нас есть координаты террористов. Передаю их по ICQ.
00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:51,790 Это была большая честь, знать тебя, комрад!
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,390 Пожалуйста! Подумайте, что вы творите! Британцы просто используют вас - вы же умрёте.
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,710 Да... но мы умрём богачами.
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,830 Игра окончена! Все на пол!
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,390 Как они нас нашли???
00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:12,400 Мы всё знаем! Теперь вы не сможете помочь красным мундирам своими действиями!
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:17,470 Это не важно. Детонатор подключен к таймеру. Вы опоздали!
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,940 Осталось три минуты.
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:26,120 Что за хрен?!
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,860 Свет вырубили!
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:29,520 И что теперь? Сколько же время?
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:33,970 Вооот дерьмо...
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:35,310 Валите их!
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,290 НЕЕЕТ!!! Я не хочу умирать без оплаты!!!
00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:51,270 Детонатор в безопасности, генерал. Ваш ход.
00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,520 Мятежные американцы знают о нашей атаке???
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:02,330 Как?
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:03,680 Открыть огонь!
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:15,290 Мдааа...
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:22,530 Ваше величество. План провалился. Мы были... не способны завершить американскую революцию.
00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:24,670 Понятно...
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,920 Ну что ж. Похоже, мы уберегли нашу страну от британского ига еще раз.
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:39,600 Да. И это лишний раз доказывает, что нам надо научитья не обвинять во всём одну нацию. Потому что большая часть мира нас ненавадит.
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,160 Ну вот, Бахир. Я тут подумал, что должен перед тобой извиниться.
00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:44,090 Серьёзно?
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,570 Да, но потом я осознал, что технически - я не должен.
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,650 Потому что, подозревая тебя, я спас жизнь тебе и всем остальным.
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,550 Так что извиниться должен ты.
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:52,990 Но ничего, все ок.
00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:56,860 Никого ты не спас! Я всех спас! Ты просто глумился над мусульманами!
00:20:57,610 --> 00:21:02,060 Но если бы я не позвонил и не попросил проверить его - ты бы так и провалялся в кровати весь день.
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:03,950 Может быть...
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:04,740 Может быть???
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,720 Если б я не позвонил, ты бы не сел за компьютер и ничего бы не узнал о митинге в поддержку Хиллари Клинтон.
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,010 Это значит, что моя нетерпимость к мусульманам спасла Америку!
00:21:11,180 --> 00:21:12,500 Ты всё искажаешь...
00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:15,430 Я был тем, кто предотвратил взрыв ядерной бомбы? ДА или НЕТ?
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,790 Это не правильная точка зрения...
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,740 ДА ИЛИ НЕТ, КАЙЛ???
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:19,470 НЕТ!
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,170 Не так, как говоришь ты...
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:25,350 Но это всё, что я говорю. Сегодня нетерпимость к одной нации всех спасла. Бахир, ты ведь понял, да?
00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:28,260 Бахир, немедленно отойди от этого чудовища!!!
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:32,820 Возвращайся домой и собирай чемоданы. Мы покидаем эту ужасную страну, полную нетерпимости.
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:38,990 ОК
00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:41,320 Кто избавил нас от мусульман? Ааа?
00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:42,610 Это был я!
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,260 Простого "Спасибо" будет достаточно.

00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,302 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,304 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,642 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,482 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,526 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,822 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,907 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,083 All right, students, let's take our seats.
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,210 Everyone <i>try</i> to be nice
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,963 because we have a new student joining us today.
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,924 And I know you will all make him feel welcome.
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,302 Say hello to...
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:55,264 Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem.
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,807 Uh-oh!
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,893 Welcome to our class, Baahir.
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,061 Thank you.
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,896 Dude, dude not cool!
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,689 Why don't you take a seat in Kyle's empty desk for now.
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,900 Okay.
00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:07,651 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,988 NO... No-ho-ho!
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,074 Eric, what the hell is wrong with you?
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,658 What's wrong?
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,578 Has he been checked for bombs?
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,871 Eric, that's enough.
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,123 Not all Muslim people are terrorists.
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,167 No, but most of them are.
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,335 And all it takes is most of them.
00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,089 Ha-ha-ha!
00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,423 Ha-ha-ha-ah!
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,467 Now you go, Baahir.
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,428 Ah-ha-hay!
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,689 Yeah?
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,108 Kyle, are you on your computer?
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,025 What? No, I'm sick.
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,568 Get on-line.
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,237 I need you to check something for me.
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,279 Dude, leave me alone.
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,447 Kyle, every one of our friends
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,448 might be in serious danger.
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:55,866 What? Why?
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,368 Get on-line now!
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,120 All right, all right.
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,790 Go to Myspace.
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:06,085 See if there's a Myspace page for a Baahir Hakeem.
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,170 Baahir Hakeem.
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,463 Born in Chicago, eight years old.
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,881 His favorite color is green.
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,675 Cartman what is this all about?
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,635 Kyle, I want you to check his buddy list.
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,178 How many Myspace friends does he have?
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,555 Over a hundred.
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,056 Look further down the page--
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,724 does he list his favorite band?
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,476 White Stripes.
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,353 That's funny. - What?
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,521 He told everyone in class today
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,524 his favorite band was Blink 182.
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,785 Hello?
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,203 Officer Barbrady,
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,289 South Park Elementary is in serious danger.
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,291 From what? Who is this?
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,876 I've just I.D.ed a Muslim
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,460 and his Myspace page does not check out.
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,212 You've got to get these people out of here now.
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,590 Are you serious?
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,133 If I wasn't serious, would I be talking like this?
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,885 Like what?
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,261 Whispering, but whispering really loudly
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,470 for dramatic effect.
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,347 Oh, jeez.
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,311 What the hell?
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:10,024 All students are to evacuate the school immediately.
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:12,735 Woo-hoo! Yipee! All right ! Yay!
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,612 Hey, Baahir, since we get to go home,
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,530 you wanna come over and play checkers?
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,532 Sure, okay! - All right!
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,411 Dude...
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:26,373 Yeah.
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,625 Dude, I just got I.D.ed from Stan
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,210 that they evacuated the school.
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,669 Yeah, now do you believe me something is going on?
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,670 I guess so.
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,130 Yeah, well, I don't like it.
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,798 It doesn't follow. What doesn't follow?
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,383 Why would a terrorist just blow up a school?
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,843 It's not their M.O.
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,803 Unless...
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,222 Oh, my God.
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,933 Unless this was all just a big diversion.
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,017 Kyle, I need you to Google search
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,310 the South Park chamber of commerce.
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,062 Okay.
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,104 Their website should have a calendar of events.
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,439 Is there anything big going on in town today?
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,024 Yeah, actually, there is.
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,317 What?
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,694 There's a Hillary Clinton campaign rally.
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821 Cartman... Cartman?
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,494 Sir, there's somebody calling in saying there's going to be
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,996 a terrorist attack on the Hillary Clinton rally today.
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,373 What?
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,959 This is C.I.A. head Alan Thompson.
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,211 Mr. Thompson, you have to call off the Clinton rally.
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,545 There's a terrorist in South Park.
00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:14,922 What do you know?
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,006 He just showed up out of the blue.
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,758 I need to speak with the president right away.
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,051 I am the head of the C.I.A.
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,386 You can tell me.
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,012 I said I will only talk to the president.
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,430 Look if you have information of a threat--
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,391 la-la-la-la la-la-la-la!
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,558 I will have you arrested for--
00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,810 la-la-- I can't hear you.
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,687 Only the president-- la-la-la-la-la!
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,482 Call is coming through now, Mr. President.
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,067 Hello?
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,652 President Bush, it's Eric Cartman.
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,403 Are we on a secure line?
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,238 Huh? Who?
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,447 Look, I know you're not the biggest Hildog fan,
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,991 but she is in great danger right now.
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,492 Hildog?
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,205 Yes, I understand.
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,623 I'll let Mrs. Clinton know.
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,083 What is it, Brian?
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,918 MrS. Clinton, we just received word
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,212 of a possible terrorist attack on your rally today.
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,755 Is the threat credible?
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,299 We aren't sure.
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,050 But perhaps it's best we call it off.
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,385 No.
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,721 No, I will not be bullied by terrorist threats.
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,472 Your men do a good job, Brian.
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,724 I have faith that any threat
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,143 will be taken care of accordingly.
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,937 We've reached the rally site, Hildog.
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,524 Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton,
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,942 I'm sure everything will be fine.
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,777 Thank you, Chris.
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,575 They know about the bomb.
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,410 That is impossible.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,494 We took every measure to assure the bomb
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,038 was hidden from sight!
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,790 Well, somebody tipped off the C.I.A.
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,292 I don't know how much they know,
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,294 but security has been heightened.
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,005 That bomb must travel with the Clinton rally to Boston.
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,591 The bomb won't make it to Boston now.
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,134 With the heightened security
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,636 it's only a matter of time before they find it.
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,597 Then we have no choice.
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,724 We have to move up the attack.
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,351 I understand, comrade.
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:51,977 Prepare yourself.
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,980 We detonate the bomb within the hour.
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,487 Kyle, I'm at the Clinton rally sight
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,072 but there's no sign of that kid.
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,365 So then maybe you're wrong.
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,949 Nope, I'm not wrong.
00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,576 He must be somehow attacking remotely from his house.
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,286 Did you find the address?
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,246 Yeah, I cross-referenced his Myspace page with Realtor.com.
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,414 His parents moved into that green house
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,957 on Janis street.
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,626 Jesus-- that's on the other side of town.
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:16,919 All right, Kyle, I'm gonna take a picture
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,128 with my camera phone and upload it to you.
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,588 Are you ready? - Yeah.
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,595 What is that? - It's my balls!
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,640 God damn it, Cartman!
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,308 Okay, okay, Kyle, let's stay focused here.
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,229 People of South Park, it is my honor to introduce
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,523 a woman who deserves nothing but respect:
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,484 Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton!
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,658 It is so nice to be back in a small town
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,411 like the one I came from!
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,330 Hildog!
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,082 Woof, woof! Woof, woof! Woof, woof! Woof, woof!
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,167 Portis-- green-- anything on that bomb threat?
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,961 We have the bomb-sniffing pig going through
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,422 if there is a bomb, the pig will find it.
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:09,138 This is why I campaign in small towns like these.
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,890 Because it is in towns like South Park
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,726 that you find the true America!
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:21,775 Oh, my God, she's got a scent.
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,193 What?
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,154 The pig is picking up the smell of nuclear residue!
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,613 Terrorists have hidden a bomb!
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,157 Oh, my God-- where?
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,575 Where could they have stashed it?
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,325 Come on, girl, find it!
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,702 Find!
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,203 My God, they hid it under the stage?
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,413 No, wait, look.
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,956 How much money do we have to waste
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,541 on needless spending,
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:42,421 when we should be focusing all our attention on-- uh.
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,755 On the education of our--
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,549 whoo, ha-ha!
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,259 Whoa there, girl!
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,302 Ha-ha ha.
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,637 On the education of our children!
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,558 Ohh, I declare!
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,309 Oh, my God.
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,060 Do you think they could have hidden
00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,272 a nuclear device up Mrs. Clinton's...
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,899 Mr. Thompson, that kid who called in
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,275 the warning was right.
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,277 We uncovered intel that terrorists have obtained
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,112 a nuclear device,
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,615 and that they have most likely hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's...
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,492 Well, in her...
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,535 In her what?
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,787 In her snatch, sir.
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,206 What?!
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,499 What is going on?
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:19,875 I wasn't finished.
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,126 Security measure, Mrs. Clinton.
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,586 Probably nothing.
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,254 Yes?
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,632 Mr. Jefferies, this is Alan Thompson with the C.I.A.
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,217 We have reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,470 may have a nuclear device up her snatch.
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,679 A what?!
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,056 A snatch.
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,141 It's the technical term for vagina.
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477 No, I mean what kind of nuclear device?
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,063 Mr. Jefferies, this is Frank Waters.
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,648 It's a suitcase nuke
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,484 designed to fit in a woman's sniz.
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,693 It's called a snuke.
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,654 What is going on, Brian?!
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,113 Mrs. Clinton, it appears that terrorists have
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,866 snuck a snuke up your sniz.
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,867 Oh, my!
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,077 What do we do?
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,495 Can we disable the timer?
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,913 It won't have a timer.
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,540 Snukes are detonated remotely.
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,792 Whoever our terrorist is has the detonator with him.
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,377 But then that means...
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,170 Yes, if we don't find that detonator,
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,382 everyone in the town of South Park is going to die...
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,134 Forever.
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,981 Do we have that phone trace?
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,816 Call is going through now, sir.
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,068 Yeah.
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,486 This is C.I.A. head Alan Thompson.
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612 We spoke before about the--
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,738 Yes, Mr. Thompson.
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:32,990 We've just arrived in your town.
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,616 Why? Did you find something?
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,911 Yes, there's a suitcase nuke in Mrs. Clinton's sniz.
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,621 A snuke?
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,039 That's right.
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,708 It's controlled by a remote detonator.
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,043 We have to locate the terrorist before he sets it off.
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:45,919 I have the address of the house
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,254 the terrorist moved into.
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,714 I'm almost there now, where are you?
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,840 We're on the town's main street,
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,425 right by an ice-cream shop.
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:52,718 Oh, dude, I'm right next to you.
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,804 Oh, hey.
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,724 Dude, we totally got let out of school.
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,475 I know, something big is going on.
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,769 Take a look at this- I did a Google search for
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,229 Hillary Clinton campaign rally, right?
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,731 And one of the links was to YouTube,
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,524 where this Russian guy had a bunch of videos.
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:08,734 Russian?
00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,485 Yeah, this guy, Vladimir Stolfsky.
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,279 He had videos on youtube of every single rally.
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,947 So he's a Hillary Clinton fan.
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,742 No, I cross-referenced his YouTube profile with Myspace,
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,285 and according to his blog,
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,453 he's an old-school communist.
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,121 So what's he doing at every Clinton rally?
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,040 Do a WebCrawler search.
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,833 Maybe he has podcasts up somewhere.
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,084 Oh, that's a good idea.
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,670 What is going on?!
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,589 What have we done?!
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,965 They claim they don't know anything about an attack.
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,216 Big surprise.
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,218 Sir, first pass of the house--
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,346 we didn't find a snuke detonator anywhere.
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,890 Mr. Hakeem, where is your son?
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:40,766 We thought he was at school.
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,100 He's not at school?
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,437 Doing great, Mrs. Clinton.
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,938 Do they know how long, Brian?
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,191 How long before the snuke in my sniz goes off?
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,735 They'll find the detonator, Hildog.
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,404 We can't wait for them to find the detonator.
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,157 If we can get to the bomb, maybe we can deactivate it.
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,784 Can't somebody go
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:02,329 and take a look inside Mrs. Clinton's sniz?
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,165 I'm not sending any of my men in there.
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,418 Are you almost ready to set off the bomb?
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,795 Everything is set.
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,089 We have the detonator up and running.
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,804 Mr. Hakeem, we need to know where your son is.
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,514 I tell you I do not know.
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,101 This is getting us nowhere.
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,311 If he knows anything, he's not saying.
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,479 Let me have time with him.
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,980 What are you going to do?
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,482 We have to find that detonator.
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,526 Let me have time with him.
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,071 You will tell me where your son is.
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,699 He <i>should</i> be at school.
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,581 Hey!
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,668 Where is the detonator?
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,462 What detonator are you--
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,424 I can do this all day.
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,175 I don't know anything about a--
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,596 Ah... Oh!
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,432 Stop it... Really!
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:04,683 You can make it stop.
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:08,645 I don't have a--
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,021 Are we just gonna let this go on?
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,650 Okay, I got a text of the Russian guy's podcast.
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,235 It's all a bunch of links to <i>eBay.</i>
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,070 You should be able to search his username on <i>eBay</i>
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,905 and see what he's been buying and selling.
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,365 Farris, setup over there.
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,575 Two of you can take that bed area.
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993 Hey.
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,786 Donner, take over that station.
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,413 What's going on?
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,582 This department is being absorbed by homeland security.
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,834 Homeland security?
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,127 Look, your little game
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,211 of going over people's heads is over.
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,796 You can still work
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,798 but from now on you answer to me-- you got that?
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,133 Excuse me-- who's in charge here?
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,468 I am.
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,094 Yeah, well not any more, you're not.
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,846 This department has just been assigned to the F.B.I.
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,139 That's outrageous!
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,432 On who's order?!
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:46,767 On order of the secretary of defense.
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852 You had your shot, now I'm in charge.
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,395 Not any more you're not.
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,772 Orders just came down from central.
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,774 They want A.T.F. Handling this on all fronts.
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,026 All right, people, from now on you are answering to me.
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,694 Not anymore they're not.
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:58,987 Orders from the president.
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,864 He wants this handled by his staff personally.
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,074 Now Nelson is in charge.
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,327 Not any more I'm not.
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,581 What are you going to do to my wife?
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,167 Nothing, if you tell me where your son is.
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,461 We told you, we don't know!
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,671 Do you know what this is?
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,965 This is apple juice.
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,510 It gives me super-bad farts.
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,846 Did he just inject himself with apple juice?
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181 Where is your son?
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,766 She doesn't know either!
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,976 Ooh, ooh!
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,353 I mean it, stop!
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,395 That is disgusting!
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,814 Where is your mother?
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,693 Answer it.
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530 Hello-- hello, Baahir.
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,532 Where are you?
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,575 Who is Butters?
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,202 Butters.
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,787 Baahir, one of your classmates is keeping us hostage--
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,623 Ah, ah!
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,834 Oh, you filthy little rapscallion!
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,544 We got him! I know where he is!
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,753 All right, where?
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,088 We'll send our people in.
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,589 No, no, he's my lead.
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,632 You're not going alone!
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,217 You blow in there and you risk taking him down
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,760 without finding the detonator.
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,638 I'm going to find out where it is.
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,139 All right, people, I'm in charge now
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141 and we will find these terrorists.
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,477 Jarvis, I want you to check for any terrorist chatter on A.O.L.
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,646 Marley and Gregs, try searching for nuclear devices
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,773 on AskJeeves.com.
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316 Askjeeves? Nobody uses AskJeeves!
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,568 Just Google search it.
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,403 Are you telling me how to do my job?
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,947 Yes, there's a Russian guy named Vladimir Stolfsky
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,574 who's got search-engine hits all over this thing.
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,868 Chase, search the name Stolfsky on YouTube
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,911 and cross-reference it with JDate!
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,079 Checking.
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,706 Look, these Russian guys all have blogs
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:33,999 talking about this like it's just some diversion
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,500 for something much bigger.
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,168 Sir, these kids are right.
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,795 We've just received intel that Russian terrorists
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,463 are believed to be responsible for the threat.
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,132 Where is the intel from?
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,758 We just read it on Drudge Report.
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,427 Look, we already have the guy's blog.
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,386 Maybe we can find an address
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,846 and check it out on MapQuest.
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,307 We do this my way, I'm the one in charge!
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,809 Not any more you're not.
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,269 Oh, snap!
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,688 Whoopie!
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,481 I captured another one of your pieces, Baahir!
00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,482 Ahh!
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:02,777 Oh, hey, Eric.
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,154 Where is the detonator?!
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,864 The what?
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,490 You have exactly five seconds before I start dropping
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,159 serious apple-juice farts in your face!
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,493 One! Leave me alone!
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,203 Stop!
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,540 Hey, I was about to win!
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,876 Stop, terrorist, or I <i>will</i> shoot you!
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,173 Get in the van.
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,343 Uh, that's cool.
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,136 I'm actually not playing anymore.
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,222 Get in the van!
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,307 That's it!
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,600 We don't have a choice anymore!
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,644 Somebody is going to have to go in
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,437 and try to disarm the snuke manually.
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,147 No, it's too dangerous.
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,107 That snatch has not seen action in over 30 years.
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,859 It could be toxic.
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,819 I'll do it.
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,864 I'll check out Mrs. Clinton's sniz.
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,869 Let me go-- please!
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,454 I'm just a little boy!
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,415 You called and warned the government of our plans.
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,710 What you don't know is that we are simply mercenaries.
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,296 We were paid to set off the snuke
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,757 so that the real enemy of America could attack!
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:06,925 That's cool.
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,635 I'm fine with Muslims invading.
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,888 You really think Muslims are behind this terrorist threat?
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,849 Uh, yes, of course.
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769 America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know.
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,146 Who is America's oldest enemy?
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,148 The Russians?
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,692 Before that.
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,651 The Germans?
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236 Before <i>that</i>!
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:27,988 The Germans again?
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,489 Before that!
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,033 I am talking about the oldest threat to America.
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,870 The greatest enemy America has ever known!
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,580 You can't possibly mean--
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,838 200 years we've waited.
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:49,175 Finally... We will get those traitors to the crown!
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,971 Yes, Your Majesty.
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,016 The Russians are ready to set off the diversion.
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,726 Full sail!
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,978 Full sail, Your Majesty.
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,657 All right, Brian, this is it.
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,534 Get in there and see if you can
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,495 disarm the snuke in Mrs. Clinton's snatch.
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,084 All right, I'm nearing her sniz now.
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,210 God help him.
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,879 What do you see, Brian?
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,590 It's dark, cold.
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,966 You're doing fine, Brian.
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,468 Get as close as you can.
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,720 You have to look inside the sniz.
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,514 Ugh... Agh.
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,392 All right, I'm looking.
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,395 Yes, I see... I see the device.
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,316 You're doing great, Brian, hang in there.
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,902 There's a metal housing,
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,029 some kind of three-pronged triggering mechanism...
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,115 Wait, there's-- there's something else here!
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,576 There's something...
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,078 Say again, Brian.
00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:00,163 There's something perched on the snuke's core.
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,581 It's...
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,583 Oh, God, it's looking at me!
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,876 Brian, get out of there!
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,212 What... What are you?!
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,838 I have no quarrels with you!
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,298 Stay back!
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,300 Stay back, I-- agh-agh!
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,094 Brian-- Brian, what's happening?!
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,513 It's... Eating my head!
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,598 It's eating my head!
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,393 Oh, my!
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,772 I got it, I got it!
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,107 According to PayPal, the Russian guys are
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,942 just hired mercenaries who had ads up on Craigslist
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,527 and got paid through <i>eBay</i>
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,363 so that Boston could be attacked by... The British.
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:34,572 The British?
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,491 Loyalist red coats!
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,660 Sir, I've found the Russian's eHarmony account.
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,870 It does list an address in South Park.
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,163 All right, MapQuest the address!
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,332 I'll use Google maps-- it has live traffic.
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542 Good thinking.
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293 Sir we have the terrorists location.
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,254 I.M.ing you now.
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,756 It was good knowing you, comrade.
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,716 Please, think about what you are doing.
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,051 The British are just using you.
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:56,511 You're going to die.
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,680 Yes, but we will be rich.
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,723 Left flank, breach flank and clear!
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,142 Go, go, go...
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,478 The game is over!
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,813 Get down on the ground!
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523 How did they find us?
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,150 We know about everything.
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,985 Your diversion to help the red coats is over.
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,528 It doesn't matter.
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,280 The detonator is on a timer.
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,407 You are too late.
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,160 In three minutes.
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,291 What the hell?
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,500 The power went out.
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,502 So then what time is it?
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,090 Oh, crap.
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,508 Take 'em down!
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,513 No!
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,850 I don't want to die without being paid!
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,768 Ugh!
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,480 The detonator is secure, general.
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,066 You are clear to proceed.
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,117 The rebel Americans know of our attack?!
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,327 How?
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,996 Fire at will!
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,423 Yes?
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,134 Your Majesty, the attack has failed.
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:23,223 We were... Unable to end the American revolution.
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,474 I see...
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,148 Well, looks like we've saved our country
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,733 from British rule once again.
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,652 Yeah, it just proves we need to learn not to
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,111 profile one race of people.
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,781 Because actually most of the world hates us.
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,949 Well, Baahir, I was thinking that
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,408 maybe I owe you an apology.
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,327 Really?
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,287 Yes, but then I realized that, technically, I don't.
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,705 Because by being suspicious of you,
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,374 I saved your life and everyone else's.
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,334 So, really, you owe me an apology.
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,877 But that's cool.
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,128 You didn't save everyone!
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,421 I did!
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,298 You were just out harassing Muslims!
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,758 But if I hadn't called you in the first place
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,426 to check out the Muslims,
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,262 you would have just stayed in bed sick all day, right?
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,263 Maybe.
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:05,098 Maybe?
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,182 If I hadn't called you, you wouldn't have been
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,600 on your computer checking out the Clinton rally.
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,603 That means my intolerance of Muslims saved America.
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,063 That is so missing the point.
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,773 Me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bomb
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,733 from going off-- yes or no?
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,193 That's not the right way to look at it--
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,528 Yes or no, Kyle?
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,780 NO... Not... Not like you're saying.
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,323 But that's all I'm saying.
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,825 Today bigotry and racism saved the day.
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,368 Baahir, you get this, right?
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,370 Baahir, get away from that disgusting child!
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,163 Get back home and start packing your things!
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:33,209 We are leaving this whole intolerant country!
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,169 Aww!
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,925 Okay, who got rid of the Muslims, huh?
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,343 That was all me.
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,470 A simple thank you will suffice.

00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:00,020 1104 The Snuke 14:18:07 15.06.2014
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,700 Все персонажи и события в этом шоу, даже те, которые основаны на реальных людях, являются полностью вымышленными.
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:05,000 Все известные голоса исполнены .. неудачно.
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Следующая программа содержит нецензурные выражения или оскорбления и вследствие чего эта передача не должна просматриваться кем-либо.
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000 Перевод Виктор Д.
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,500 ♪ Я ухожу в Южный Парк, буду проводить своё время,
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:16,059 ♪ Дружелюбные лица везде, скромные люди без соблазна,
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:19,250 ♪ Я иду в Южный Парк, собираюсь оставить мои беды позади
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,722 ♪ Просторная парковка днём или ночью, люди, восклицающие: "Привет, сосед",
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,837 ♪ Я отправляюсь в Южный Парк, посмотрю, смогу ли я расслабиться
00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:29,352 ♪ Мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами, мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами,
00:00:29,352 --> 00:00:33,000 ♪ Так приходи в Южный Парк и встреть некоторых моих друзей.
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:38,010 Мандобомба (В чемоданчике, ядерная) 1104
00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:46,587 Так, ученики, давайте займём свои места. Все пытаемся быть милыми, потому что у нас новый ученик присоединяется к нам сегодня,
00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:55,844 и я знаю, что вы все дадите ему почувствовать гостеприимство. Скажите привет Бахир Хасан Абдул Хакиму.
00:00:55,864 --> 00:01:00,000 - Ой-ой. - Добро пожаловать в наш класс, Бахир.
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,292 - Спасибо. - Чувак, чувак, не круто!
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:07,000 - Почему бы тебе не сесть за пустой стол Кайла сейчас? - Хорошо.
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:13,200 - Нее! - Эрик, что, чёрт возьми, с тобой такое?!
00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:20,742 - Что не так? Он был проверен на бомбы? - Эрик, хватит! Не все мусульмане являются террористами!
00:01:20,762 --> 00:01:29,912 Нет, но большинство из них. И это то, чем занимается большинство из них.
00:01:29,932 --> 00:01:41,167 Теперь ты давай, Бахир.
00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:47,452 - Да? - Кайл, ты за компьютером?
00:01:47,472 --> 00:01:51,341 - Что? Нет, я болен. - Выходи в сеть. Мне нужно, чтобы ты посмотрел кое-что для меня.
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:55,422 - Чувак, оставьте меня в покое. - Кайл, каждый из наших друзей может быть в серьёзной опасности!
00:01:55,442 --> 00:01:58,131 - Что? Почему? - Выходи в сеть, сейчас же!
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:07,263 - Ладно, хорошо. - Иди на MySpace. Посмотри, есть ли в MySpace страница Бахира Хакима.
00:02:07,283 --> 00:02:13,009 "Бахир Хаким." Родился в Чикаго, восемь лет, его любимый цвет зелёный. Картман, что всё это значит?
00:02:13,029 --> 00:02:16,882 Кайл, я хочу, чтобы ты проверил его список друзей. Сколько MySpace-овских друзей у него?
00:02:16,902 --> 00:02:21,122 - Более сотни. - Смотри дальше вниз по странице. Он записал свою любимую группу?
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:24,000 - Белые полосы. - Это смешно.
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:33,133 - Что? - Он сказал всем в классе сегодня, что его любимая группа Blink 182.
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:39,153 Следующее происходит между переменой и уроком географии.
00:02:39,231 --> 00:02:40,462 Алло?
00:02:40,482 --> 00:02:44,043 Офицер Барбреди, Начальная школа Южного Парка находится в серьёзной опасности!
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,734 - От чего? Кто это? - Я только что опознал мусульманина
00:02:46,754 --> 00:02:51,562 и его страница в MySpace не прошла проверку. Вы должны удалить этих людей отсюда сейчас!
00:02:51,582 --> 00:02:55,423 - Вы это серьёзно? - Если бы я не был серьёзен, я бы говорил вот так?
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:58,762 - Как так? - Шепча, но шепча действительно громко, для драматического эффекта.
00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:03,792 О Боже.
00:03:03,812 --> 00:03:13,074 - Что за чёрт? - Все ученики должны покинуть школу немедленно!
00:03:13,094 --> 00:03:16,952 Эй, Бахир, так как мы собираемся пойти домой, ты хочешь зайти поиграть в шашки?
00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:21,341 - Конечно, хорошо. - Здорово!
00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:26,548 - Блин. - Да.
00:03:26,568 --> 00:03:29,072 Чувак, я только что получил Мгновенное Сообщение от Стэна, что они эвакуировали школу.
00:03:29,092 --> 00:03:32,059 - Да. Теперь ты веришь мне, что что-то происходит?! - Я думаю, да.
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:35,115 - Да, ну мне не нравится это! Из этого не следует! - Что не следует?
00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:40,073 Засем террористу просто взрывать школу? Это не их почерк, если только...
00:03:40,093 --> 00:03:44,111 О, мой Бог! Только бы это всё не было просто большим отвлекающим манёвром.
00:03:44,131 --> 00:03:47,672 Кайл, ты мне нужен, чтобы Google-найти торговую палату Юж Парка! - Хорошо.
00:03:47,692 --> 00:03:51,463 Их веб-сайт должен иметь календарь событий. Есть ли что-нибудь грандиозное, происходящее в городе сегодня?
00:03:51,483 --> 00:03:53,571 - Да. Точно, есть. - Что?
00:03:53,591 --> 00:04:01,451 Есть предвыборный митинг Хиллари Клинтон. Картман? Картман?
00:04:01,471 --> 00:04:06,732 Сэр! Тут кто-то звонит и говорит, что будет террористическая атака на митинг Хиллари Клинтон сегодня.
00:04:06,752 --> 00:04:12,543 - Что? Это руководитель ЦРУ Алан Томпсон. - М-р Томпсон, вы должны отменить митинг Клинтон!
00:04:12,563 --> 00:04:14,981 Тут террористы в Южном Парке! - Что вы знаете?
00:04:15,001 --> 00:04:18,013 Он только что появился из ниоткуда! Мне нужно поговорить с президентом прямо сейчас!
00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:22,353 - Я глава ЦРУ! Вы можете сказать мне! - Я сказал, я буду разговаривать только с президентом!
00:04:22,373 --> 00:04:25,624 - Слушайте, если у вас есть информация об угрозе, вы могли бы.. - Бла, бла-бла, бла-бла.
00:04:25,644 --> 00:04:32,613 - Я тебя арестую за.. - Я не слышу вас! Только президента!
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:35,056 - Вызов переключаю сейчас, м-р президент. - Алло?
00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:39,011 Президент буш(кустарник, где серут), это Эрик Картман. Мы на защищённой линии? /- А? Кто?
00:04:39,031 --> 00:04:42,253 Слушайте, я знаю, вы не самый большой поклонник ХилСучки (Обосранки), но она в большой опасности прямо сейчас!
00:04:42,273 --> 00:04:51,801 - ХилСучка? - Да, я понимаю. Я передам м-с Клинтонше. - Что это такое, Брайан?
00:04:51,821 --> 00:04:56,244 М-с Клинтон, мы только что получили известие о возможном теракте на вашем митинге сегодня.
00:04:56,264 --> 00:05:00,542 - Эта угроза реальна? - Мы не уверены, но, наверно, лучше нам отменить его.
00:05:00,562 --> 00:05:05,802 Нет. Нет, меня не запугать террористическими угрозами. Ваши люди хорошо работают, Брайан.
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:14,582 Я верю, что любая угроза будет отработанна соответственно. - Мы достигли места митинга, ХилСучка.
00:05:14,602 --> 00:05:22,413 - Не волнуйтесь, м-с Клинтонша, я уверен, что всё будет хорошо. - Спасибо, Крис.
00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:26,681 - Они знают о бомбе! - Это невозможно!
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,922 Мы предприняли все меры, чтобы обеспечить, чтобы бомба была спрятана от глаз.
00:05:29,942 --> 00:05:35,362 Ну, кто-то шепнул в ЦРУ. Я не знаю как много они знают, но безопасность была повышена.
00:05:35,382 --> 00:05:40,951 - Это бомба должна уехать Клинтоншей на митинг в Бостон! - Эта бомба не доедет до Бостона теперь!
00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:45,004 С такими повышенными мерами безопасности это всего лишь вопрос времени, когда они найдут её!
00:05:45,024 --> 00:05:51,000 - Тогда у нас нет выбора. Мы должны ускорить нападение. - Я понимаю, товарищ.
00:05:51,000 --> 00:06:00,533 Приготовьтесь. Мы взрываем бомбу в течение часа.
00:06:00,553 --> 00:06:05,000 - Кайл, я на месте митинга Клинтонши, но нет никаких признаков этого парня! /- Ну, тогда, может, ты ошибаешься.
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,002 Нет, я не ошибаюсь. Он должен каким-то образом атаковать дистанционно из своего дома. Ты нашёл адрес?
00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:14,142 Да. Я использовал перекрёстные ссылки его страницы MySpace с Риэлтор.com. Его родители переехали в тот зелёный дом на Дженис стрит.
00:06:14,162 --> 00:06:20,000 Господи, это на другом конце города. Ладно, Кайл, я сделаю снимок моей камерой телефона и загружу его к тебе. Ты готов?
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:28,543 - Да. Что это? - Это мои яйца!
00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:32,653 - Чёрт возьми, Картман! - Хорошо. Хорошо, Кайл, давай, оставайся сосредоточенным сейчас.
00:06:32,673 --> 00:06:44,694 Народ Южного Парка, я имею честь представить женщину, которая не заслуживает ничего, кроме уважения. М-с Хиллари Родэм Клинтон!
00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:55,433 - Это так приятно вернуться в небольшой город как тот, откуда я вышла. - ХилСучка!
00:06:55,453 --> 00:07:05,774 Отис Грин, что-нибудь о той угрозе взрыва? У нас есть бомбо-нюхательная свинья, идущая сквозь толпу. Если есть бомба, свинья найдёт её.
00:07:05,794 --> 00:07:20,761 Вот почему я агитирую в малых городах, как этот! Потому что в таких городах, как Южный Парк, вы найдёте истинную Америку!
00:07:20,781 --> 00:07:23,122 - Боже мой, она взяла след! - Что?
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:26,993 Свинья чует запах ядерных отходов. Террористы спрятали бомбу!
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:31,764 - О, мой Бог! Где? Куда они могли спрятать её? - Давайте, найди её. Найдите!
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,683 - Боже мой, они спрятали её под сценой?! - Нет, подождите, смотрите.
00:07:34,703 --> 00:07:42,653 Сколько денег мы должны тратить на ненужные расходы, когда мы должны сосредоточить всё наше внимание на..
00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:54,673 на образование.. Ух, ну, девочка. На образование всех детей. О, я вам скажу!
00:07:54,693 --> 00:08:00,731 О, мой Бог. Вы думаете, они могли спрятать ядерное устройство в м-с Клинтоновской..
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:05,000 М-р Томпсон, тот ребёнок, который звонил с предупреждением был прав! Мы обнаружили разведданные,
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:10,621 что террористы приобрели ядерное устройство, и что они, скорее всего, спрятали его в м-с Клинтоновской..
00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:14,112 Ну, в её.. - В её что?
00:08:14,132 --> 00:08:17,601 - В её манде, сэр. - Что?!
00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:23,476 - Что происходит? Я ещё не закончила. - Мера безопасности, м-с Клинтон. Наверное, ничего.
00:08:23,496 --> 00:08:27,135 Да? - М-р Джеффрис, это Алан Томпсон из ЦРУ.
00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:32,404 У нас есть основания полагать, что у м-с Клинтон может быть ядерное устройство прямо в её манде.
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:36,390 - Что?! - Манда. Это специальный термин для влагалища.
00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:41,816 - Нет, я имею в виду, какого типа ядерное устройство? - М-р Джеффрис, это Фрэнк Вотерс.
00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:47,074 Это чемоданное ядерное оружие, разработанное, чтобы поместиться в женскую вагину. Оно называется Мандобомба (В чемодане, ядерная).
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:52,913 - Что происходит, Брайан? /- М-с Клинтон, похоже, что террористы тайком воткнули Мандомбу прямо в вашу дырку.
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,243 О, Боже!
00:08:54,263 --> 00:08:59,517 - Что мы можем сделать? Можем ли мы отключить таймер? - У неё нет таймера. Мандобомба взрываются дистанционно.
00:08:59,537 --> 00:09:03,482 У любого нашего террориста есть детонатор с собой. - Но тогда это значит, что..
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:21,045 Да. Если мы не найдём тот детонатор, все в городе Южный Парк умрут. Навсегда.
00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:27,148 - Мы отследили тот телефон? - Вызов совершается сейчас, сэр.
00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:31,346 - Да? - Это глава ЦРУ Алан Томпсон. Мы говорили ранее о.. - Да, м-р Томпсон?
00:09:31,366 --> 00:09:34,195 - Ну, мы только что прибыли в ваш город. - И? Вы нашли что-нибудь?
00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:40,000 - Да. Тут чемоданное ядерное устройство в дырке Клинтон. - Мандобомба?
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:45,044 Это так. Она управляется дистанционным детонатором. Мы должны отследить террориста прежде, чем он взорвёт её.
00:09:45,064 --> 00:09:48,485 У меня есть адрес того дома, куда террорист въехал. Я почти там сейчас, где вы?
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:57,077 - Мы на главной улице города, прямо с магазином мороженое. - О, чувак, я, я рядом с вами. /- О, привет.
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:01,507 - Чувак, нам всем разрешили уйти из школы. - Я знаю. Что-то большое происходит. Взгляни на это.
00:10:01,527 --> 00:10:05,900 Я сделал поиск Google по "предвыборный митинг Хиллари Клинтон", так? И одна из ссылок была на YouTube,
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:08,600 где этот русский парень имел кучу видео. - Русский?
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:12,600 Да, этот парень Владимир Столфский. У него были видео на YouTube'е каждого любого митинга.
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,100 - Так он фанат Хиллари Клинтон. - Нет. Я использовал перекрёстные ссылки
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:19,347 его профиля YouTube'а с MySpace'ом и в соответствии с его блогом, он коммунист старой школы.
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:24,686 Так что он делает на каждом митинге Клинтонши? - Сделай поиск WebCrawler-ом, может у него есть подкасты где-то.
00:10:24,706 --> 00:10:30,235 - О это хорошая идея. - Что происходит? Что мы сделали?
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,747 - Они утверждают, что они ничего не знают об атаке. - Большой сюрприз!
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:37,388 Сэр, первый осмотр дома, мы не нашли детонатора Мандобомбы нигде.
00:10:37,408 --> 00:10:44,218 - М-р Аким, где ваш сын? - Мы думали, что он был в школе. Он не в школе?
00:10:44,238 --> 00:10:47,218 - Вы держитесь здорово, м-с Клинтонша. - Знают ли они, как долго, Брайан?
00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:52,366 Как долго до того, как Мандобомба в моей дырке сработает? - Они найдут детонатор, ХилСучка.
00:10:52,386 --> 00:10:57,751 Мы не можем ждать, пока они ищут детонатор. Если мы сможем добраться до бомбы, может, мы сможем отключить её.
00:10:57,771 --> 00:11:05,836 Не может ли кто-нибудь пойти и заглянуть в дырку м-с Клинтонши? - Я не посылаю никого из моих людей туда.
00:11:05,856 --> 00:11:16,017 - Вы почти готовы взорвать бомбу? - Всё готово. У нас взведённый детонатор и он тикает.
00:11:16,037 --> 00:11:22,857 - М-р Хаким, мы должны знать, где ваш сын! - Я говорю вам, я не знаю.
00:11:22,877 --> 00:11:27,900 - Это ведёт нас в никуда. Если он ничего не знает, он не скажет. - Дайте мне провести время с ним.
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:34,635 - Что ты собираешься делать? - Мы должны найти тот детонатор! Дайте мне провести время с ним!
00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:48,318 Ты скажешь мне, где твой сын! - Он должен быть в школе! Эй!
00:11:48,338 --> 00:11:54,297 - Где детонатор? - О каком детонаторе ты..
00:11:54,317 --> 00:12:01,568 - Я могу делать это весь день. - Я не знаю ничего о..
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,597 - Перестань! Действительно! - Ты можешь это остановить!
00:12:04,617 --> 00:12:11,568 - У меня нет.. - Неужели мы просто позволим этому продолжаться?
00:12:11,588 --> 00:12:15,407 Так, я получил текст подкаста русского парня. Это всё куча ссылок на eBay.
00:12:15,427 --> 00:12:19,016 Ты должен смочь найти его имя пользователя на eBay и посмотреть, что он покупает и продаёт.
00:12:19,036 --> 00:12:21,875 Феррис, устанавливай вон там. Вы двое, можете занять место у той кровати.
00:12:21,895 --> 00:12:25,148 - Эй! - Доннер, забери у них это рабочее место.
00:12:25,168 --> 00:12:29,867 - Что происходит? - Эта квартира занимается Национальной Безопасностью!
00:12:29,887 --> 00:12:32,500 - Национальной Безопасностью? - Слушайте, ваша маленькая игра,
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,052 идущая через головы людей закончилась! Вы все ещё можете работать, но с этого момента вы слушаться меня, вы поняли это?
00:12:37,072 --> 00:12:39,476 - Простите, кто главный тут? - Я!
00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:43,308 Да, ну, больше не ты. Этот отдел был только что переназначен в ФБР.
00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:46,762 - Это возмутительно! По чьему приказу? - По приказу министра обороны!
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:51,750 У тебя был твой шанс, теперь я главный! - Больше не ты! Приказ только что спустили из Центра!
00:12:51,757 --> 00:12:53,917 Они хотят, чтобы Управление по борьбе с незаконным оборотом алкоголя, табака и вооружений, возглавляло это на всех фронтах!
00:12:53,937 --> 00:12:58,967 Так, люди, отныне вы слушаетесь меня! - Больше нет! Приказ Президента.
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,897 Он хочет, чтобы это возглавляли его сотрудники лично. Теперь Нельсон главный.
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:07,847 Нет, больше не я!
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:12,199 - Что вы собираетесь делать с моей женой? - Ничего, если ты скажешь мне, где твой сын!
00:13:12,219 --> 00:13:17,375 - Мы говорили вам, что мы не знаем. - Знаете ли вы, что это такое?
00:13:17,395 --> 00:13:24,938 - Это яблочный сок. Это дает меня супер плохим пердуном. - Он только что вколол себе яблочный сок?
00:13:24,958 --> 00:13:30,076 - Где ваш сын? - Она не знает, так же.
00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:39,666 Я серьёзно говорю! Стой! Это отвратительно! Где твоя мать? - Ответь!
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:46,488 - Алло? Здравствуй Бахир. Где ты? Кто такой Баттерс? - Баттерс.
00:13:46,508 --> 00:13:54,248 - Бахир, один из твоих одноклассников держит нас в заложниках. - Ты грязный маленький негодяй!
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:57,648 - Мы получили его! Я знаю, где он находится! - Хорошо, где? Мы отправим туда наших людей.
00:13:57,668 --> 00:14:00,618 - Нет, нет, он мой ключ. - Ты не пойдёшь один.
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:06,268 Вы ворвётесь туда, и вы рискуете уничтожить его не найдя детонатор! Я собираюсь выяснить, где он находится!
00:14:06,288 --> 00:14:12,775 Так, народ, я главный теперь и мы найдём этих террористов. Джарвис, я хочу, чтобы ты проверил любую болтовню террористов на AOL.
00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:16,917 Марли и Греггс, попробуйте поискать ядерные устройства на AskJeeves.com.
00:14:16,937 --> 00:14:21,357 - AskJeeves? Никто не использует AskJeeves! Просто Google-ищите их! - Ты говоришь мне как делать мою работу?
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:25,916 Да. Есть русский парень по имени Владимир Столфский, который есть по всей поисковой системе.
00:14:25,936 --> 00:14:30,205 Чейз, ищи имя Столфский на YouTube и используй перекрёстные ссылки его с JDate!
00:14:30,225 --> 00:14:33,022 - Проверяю. - Смотрите, эти русские ребята уже во всех блогах говорят об этом,
00:14:33,026 --> 00:14:35,396 будто это просто какой-то большой отвлекающий манёвр для чего-то гораздо большего!
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:41,008 Сэр, эти дети правы. Мы только что получили разведданные, что русские террористы 'берут' ответственность за эту угрозу.
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:44,034 - Откуда разведданные? - Мы только что прочитали их на сайте сплетен.
00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:47,967 Смотрите, у нас уже есть блог этого парня. Может, мы можем найти адрес и проверить его на MapQuest.
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:56,595 - Мы делаем это по моему! Я один главный! - Нет, больше не вы. - Вот те на!
00:14:56,615 --> 00:15:05,509 - Я захватил ещё одну из твоих шашек, Бахир. О, привет Эрик. - Где этот детонатор! - Что это?
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:10,401 У тебя есть ровно пять секунд, прежде чем я начну пердеть по-серьёзному 'яблочным соком' в твоё лицо! Раз!
00:15:10,401 --> 00:15:13,328 - Оставь меня в покое! - Стой!
00:15:13,348 --> 00:15:21,415 - Эй, я почти выиграл! - Стой, террорист, или я пристрелю тебя!
00:15:21,435 --> 00:15:31,578 - Забирайтесь в фургон! - Э-э, это круто. Я на самом деле больше не играю. - Забирайтесь в фургон!
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:37,666 Вот и всё! У нас нет выбора больше! Кому-то придётся влезть и попытаться разоружить Мандобомбу вручную!
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:43,977 Нет, это слишком опасно! Эта манда не 'была в работе' более 30 лет! Она может быть токсична!
00:15:43,997 --> 00:15:51,497 Я сделаю это! Я проверю дырку м-с Клинтонши.
00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:57,828 - Отпустите меня! Пожалуйста! Я просто маленький мальчик! - Ты позвонил и предупредил правительство о наших планах!
00:15:57,848 --> 00:16:06,176 Что ты не знаешь, это что мы просто наёмники. Нам платят за установку Мандобомбы, чтобы настоящий враг Америки смог атаковать.
00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:10,500 - Это круто. Я в 'мире' с мусульманским вторжением. - Ты действительно думаешь, что мусульмане
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:15,410 стоят за этой террористической угрозой? - Э-э, да, конечно?
00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:21,298 У Америки были другие враги, до мусульман, ты знаешь. Кто является старейшим врагом Америки?
00:16:21,318 --> 00:16:27,167 - Русские? /- До этого. - Немцы? /- До этого.
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:32,887 - В снова немцы? - До этого! Я говорю о самой старой угрозе Америке!
00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:42,656 Тот злейший враг Америки, который только известен! - Вы не можету иметь в виду..
00:16:42,676 --> 00:16:52,928 Двести лет мы ждали. Наконец. Мы вернём этих предателей Короне! Да, Ваше Величество?
00:16:52,948 --> 00:17:07,000 - Русские готовы взорвать отвлекающий манёвр. Полный вперёд. - Полный парус, ваше величество.
00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:19,132 Хорошо, Брайан, началось. Залазь туда и посмотри, можешь ли ты разоружить Мандобомбу в манде м-с Клинтонши.
00:17:19,152 --> 00:17:24,342 - Ладно. Я приближаюсь к её дырке сейчас. - Бог ему в помощь.
00:17:24,362 --> 00:17:28,562 - Что ты видишь, Брайан? - Тут темно. Холодно.
00:17:28,582 --> 00:17:36,732 Ты молодец, Брайан. Доберись так близко, как можешь. Ты должен заглянуть внутрь дырки.
00:17:36,752 --> 00:17:46,344 - Так, я смотрю. Да, я вижу.. Я вижу это устройство! - Ты молодец, Брайан. Спускайся туда.
00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:51,871 Тут, э, металлический корпус. Какой-то трёхконтактный спусковой механизм, который..
00:17:51,891 --> 00:17:58,043 Подождите, тут есть что-то ещё! Тут что-то.. - Повтори, Брайан.
00:17:58,063 --> 00:18:03,600 Тут что-то сидит на катушке Мандобомбы. О Боже, оно смотрит на меня!
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:09,500 - Брайан, выходи оттуда! - Что.. Что ты такое? У меня нет никаких угрызений совести о тебе!
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:14,113 Не подходи! Отойди, я.. - Брайан? Брайан, что происходит?
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:24,172 - Оно ест мою голову! Оно есть мою голову! - О, Боже!
00:18:24,192 --> 00:18:28,227 Я нашёл! Я нашёл! Согласно PayPal, русские ребята просто нанятые наёмники,
00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:33,512 которые вывешивали рекламу Craig's List и им заплатили через eBay, так что тот человек может быть атакован Британцами.
00:18:33,532 --> 00:18:36,461 - Британцы? - Королевские Красные Мундиры!
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:40,925 Сэр, я нашёл аккаунт (счёт) русских на сайте знакомств! Он содержит список адресов в Южном Парке!
00:18:40,942 --> 00:18:44,600 - Хорошо! Адрес на MapQuest! - Я буду использовать Google Maps. Он содержит пробки.
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:49,682 - Хорошая мысль. /- Сэр, у нас есть расположение террористов. Отсылаю мгновенное сообщение вам сейчас.
00:18:49,702 --> 00:18:53,942 - Было приятно познакомиться с тобой, товарищ. - Пожалуйста. Подумайте о том, что вы делаете.
00:18:53,962 --> 00:18:59,061 Британцы всего лишь использовали вас, вы умрёте. - Да, но мы будем богаты.
00:18:59,081 --> 00:19:08,402 - Левый фланг, 'напрыгиваем(?)' и зачищаем! Идём! - Игра закончена! Вниз на землю! /- Как они нас нашли?
00:19:08,422 --> 00:19:12,273 Мы знаем обо всём! Ваш отвлекающий манёвр, чтобы помочь Красным Мундирам окончен!
00:19:12,293 --> 00:19:24,921 Это не имеет значения. Детонатор на таймере. Вы слишком опоздали! Через три минуты.
00:19:24,941 --> 00:19:32,290 - Что за чёрт? - Электричество выключилось! - Ну, так сколько сейчас времени?
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:39,482 - Вот дерьмо. - Убейте их!
00:19:39,502 --> 00:19:58,983 - Нет! Я не хочу умирать, не получив оплату! - Детонатор обезврежен, генерал. Вы свободны чтобы продолжать.
00:19:59,003 --> 00:20:13,516 - Повстанцы Американцы знают о нашей атаке?! - Как? /- Беглый огонь!
00:20:13,536 --> 00:20:18,480 - Да? - Ваше Величество, атака не удалась.
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:30,390 Мы были не в состоянии положить конец американской революции. - Понимаю.
00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:34,093 Ну, похоже, что мы спасли нашу страну от британского правления в очередной раз.
00:20:34,113 --> 00:20:37,232 Да. Это только доказывает, что мы должны учиться не 'рассматривать' только расу людей.
00:20:37,252 --> 00:20:43,171 Потому что, на самом деле, большинство мира ненавидит нас. - Ну Бахир, я думал, что, может, я должен перед тобой извиниться.
00:20:43,191 --> 00:20:46,300 - В самом деле? - Да. Но потом я понял, что формально не должен.
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:52,838 Потому что, подозревая тебя, я спас твою жизнь и жизни всех остальных. Так на самом деле, ты должен передо мной извиниться. Но это круто.
00:20:52,858 --> 00:21:00,271 - Ты не спас никого, я спас! Ты только преследовал мусульман! - Но если бы я не позвонил тебе сначала, чтобы проверить мусульманина,
00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:04,200 ты бы просто остался в кровати, болел весь день, не так ли? - Может быть.
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,572 Может быть? Если бы я не позвонил тебе, ты не сидел бы за своим компьютером, проверяя митинги Клинтонши.
00:21:07,592 --> 00:21:12,358 Это означает, что моя нетерпимость мусульманам спасла Америку. - Тут отсутствует смысл.
00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:17,597 - Я, будучи фанатиком, остановил взрыв ядерной бомбы, да или нет?! - Это не правильный способ смотреть на это, я..
00:21:17,617 --> 00:21:21,192 - Да или нет, Кайл? - Нет! Не, не так, как ты говоришь.
00:21:21,212 --> 00:21:25,362 Но вот всё, что я говорю: Сегодня, фанатизм и расизм спасли мир. Бахир, ты понял это, не так ли?
00:21:25,382 --> 00:21:30,173 Бахир! Отойди от отвратительного ребёнка! Возвращайся домой и начни упаковывать свои вещи!
00:21:30,193 --> 00:21:37,800 Мы покидаем эту вовсе нетерпимую страну!
00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:54,097 Хорошо. Кто избавился от мусульман, а? Это был только я. Простой благодарности хватит.
00:22:14,302 --> 00:22:14,312 .

00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,302 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,304 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,642 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,482 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,526 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,696 ♪ ( mumbling ) ♪
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,822 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,907 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:35,995 ( school bell ringing )
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,083 All right, students, let's take our seats.
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,210 Everyone <i>try</i> to be nice
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,963 because we have a new student joining us today.
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,924 And I know you will all make him feel welcome.
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,302 Say hello to...
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:55,264 Baahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem.
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,807 Uh-oh!
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,893 Welcome to our class, Baahir.
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,061 Thank you.
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,896 Dude, dude not cool!
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,689 Why don't you take a seat in Kyle's empty desk for now.
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,900 Okay.
00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:07,651 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,988 NO... No-ho-ho!
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,074 Eric, what the hell is wrong with you?
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,658 What's wrong?
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,578 Has he been checked for bombs?
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,871 Eric, that's enough.
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,123 Not all Muslim people are terrorists.
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,167 No, but most of them are.
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:24,335 And all it takes is most of them.
00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,089 Ha-ha-ha!
00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,423 Ha-ha-ha-ah!
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,467 Now you go, Baahir.
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,428 Ah-ha-hay!
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,230 ( phone ringing )
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,689 ( sniffs ) Yeah?
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,108 Kyle, are you on your computer?
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,025 What? No, I'm sick.
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,568 Get on-line.
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,237 I need you to check something for me.
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,279 Dude, leave me alone.
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,447 Kyle, every one of our friends
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,448 might be in serious danger.
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:55,866 What? Why?
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,368 Get on-line now!
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,120 All right, all right.
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,790 Go to Myspace.
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:06,085 See if there's a Myspace page for a Baahir Hakeem.
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,170 Baahir Hakeem.
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,463 Born in Chicago, eight years old.
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,881 His favorite color is green.
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,675 Cartman what is this all about?
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,635 Kyle, I want you to check his buddy list.
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,178 How many Myspace friends does he have?
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,555 Over a hundred.
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,056 Look further down the page--
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,724 does he list his favorite band?
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,476 White Stripes.
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,353 That's funny. - What?
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,521 He told everyone in class today
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,524 his favorite band was Blink 182.
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,617 ( phone ringing )
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,785 Hello?
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,203 ( whispering ) Officer Barbrady,
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,289 South Park Elementary is in serious danger.
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,291 From what? Who is this?
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,876 I've just I.D.ed a Muslim
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,460 and his Myspace page does not check out.
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,212 You've got to get these people out of here now.
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,590 Are you serious?
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,133 If I wasn't serious, would I be talking like this?
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,885 Like what?
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,261 Whispering, but whispering really loudly
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,470 for dramatic effect.
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,347 Oh, jeez.
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:03,184 ( fire alarm ringing )
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,311 What the hell?
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:10,024 ( Principal Victoria ) All students are to evacuate the school immediately.
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:12,735 Woo-hoo! Yipee! All right ! Yay!
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,612 Hey, Baahir, since we get to go home,
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,530 you wanna come over and play checkers?
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,532 Sure, okay! - All right!
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,411 Dude...
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,206 ( phone ringing )
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:26,373 Yeah.
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,625 Dude, I just got I.D.ed from Stan
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,210 that they evacuated the school.
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,669 Yeah, now do you believe me something is going on?
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,670 I guess so.
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,130 Yeah, well, I don't like it.
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,798 It doesn't follow. What doesn't follow?
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,383 Why would a terrorist just blow up a school?
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,843 It's not their M.O.
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,803 Unless...
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,222 Oh, my God.
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,933 Unless this was all just a big diversion.
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,017 Kyle, I need you to Google search
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,310 the South Park chamber of commerce.
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,062 Okay.
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,104 Their website should have a calendar of events.
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,439 Is there anything big going on in town today?
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,024 Yeah, actually, there is.
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,317 What?
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,694 There's a Hillary Clinton campaign rally.
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821 Cartman... Cartman?
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,494 Sir, there's somebody calling in saying there's going to be
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,996 a terrorist attack on the Hillary Clinton rally today.
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,373 What?
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,959 This is C.I.A. head Alan Thompson.
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,211 Mr. Thompson, you have to call off the Clinton rally.
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,545 There's a terrorist in South Park.
00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:14,922 What do you know?
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,006 He just showed up out of the blue.
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,758 I need to speak with the president right away.
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,051 I am the head of the C.I.A.
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,386 You can tell me.
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:22,012 I said I will only talk to the president.
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,430 Look if you have information of a threat--
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,391 la-la-la-la la-la-la-la!
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,558 I will have you arrested for--
00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:27,810 la-la-- I can't hear you.
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,687 Only the president-- la-la-la-la-la!
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,482 Call is coming through now, Mr. President.
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,067 Hello?
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,652 President Bush, it's Eric Cartman.
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,403 Are we on a secure line?
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,238 Huh? Who?
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:40,447 Look, I know you're not the biggest Hildog fan,
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,991 but she is in great danger right now.
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:43,492 Hildog?
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,205 Yes, I understand.
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,623 I'll let Mrs. Clinton know.
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,083 What is it, Brian?
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,918 MrS. Clinton, we just received word
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,212 of a possible terrorist attack on your rally today.
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,755 Is the threat credible?
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,299 We aren't sure.
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,050 But perhaps it's best we call it off.
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,385 No.
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,721 No, I will not be bullied by terrorist threats.
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,472 Your men do a good job, Brian.
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,724 I have faith that any threat
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,143 will be taken care of accordingly.
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:11,937 We've reached the rally site, Hildog.
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,524 Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton,
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,942 I'm sure everything will be fine.
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,777 Thank you, Chris.
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,575 They know about the bomb.
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,410 That is impossible.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,494 We took every measure to assure the bomb
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,038 was hidden from sight!
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,790 Well, somebody tipped off the C.I.A.
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,292 I don't know how much they know,
00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,294 but security has been heightened.
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:38,005 That bomb must travel with the Clinton rally to Boston.
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,591 The bomb won't make it to Boston now.
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,134 With the heightened security
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,636 it's only a matter of time before they find it.
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,597 Then we have no choice.
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,724 We have to move up the attack.
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,351 I understand, comrade.
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:51,977 Prepare yourself.
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,980 We detonate the bomb within the hour.
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,487 Kyle, I'm at the Clinton rally sight
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,072 but there's no sign of that kid.
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,365 So then maybe you're wrong.
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,949 Nope, I'm not wrong.
00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,576 He must be somehow attacking remotely from his house.
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,286 Did you find the address?
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,246 Yeah, I cross-referenced his Myspace page with Realtor.com.
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,414 His parents moved into that green house
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,957 on Janis street.
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,626 Jesus-- that's on the other side of town.
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:16,919 All right, Kyle, I'm gonna take a picture
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,128 with my camera phone and upload it to you.
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,588 Are you ready? - Yeah.
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,465 ( chuckling )
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,595 What is that? - It's my balls!
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,347 ( laughing )
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,640 God damn it, Cartman!
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,308 Okay, okay, Kyle, let's stay focused here.
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,229 People of South Park, it is my honor to introduce
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,523 a woman who deserves nothing but respect:
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,484 Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton!
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:41,902 ( cheering )
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,658 It is so nice to be back in a small town
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,411 like the one I came from!
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:51,412 ( cheering )
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,330 Hildog!
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,082 Woof, woof! Woof, woof! Woof, woof! Woof, woof!
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,167 Portis-- green-- anything on that bomb threat?
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,961 We have the bomb-sniffing pig going through
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,422 if there is a bomb, the pig will find it.
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,382 ( snorting )
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:09,138 This is why I campaign in small towns like these.
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,890 Because it is in towns like South Park
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,726 that you find the true America!
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,854 ( cheering )
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,774 ( snorting )
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:21,775 Oh, my God, she's got a scent.
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,193 What?
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,154 The pig is picking up the smell of nuclear residue!
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,613 Terrorists have hidden a bomb!
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,157 Oh, my God-- where?
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,575 Where could they have stashed it?
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,325 Come on, girl, find it!
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:31,702 Find!
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,203 My God, they hid it under the stage?
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,413 No, wait, look.
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,956 How much money do we have to waste
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,541 on needless spending,
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:42,421 when we should be focusing all our attention on-- uh.
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,755 On the education of our--
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,549 whoo, ha-ha!
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,259 Whoa there, girl!
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,302 Ha-ha ha.
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,637 On the education of our children!
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,558 Ohh, I declare!
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,309 Oh, my God.
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,060 Do you think they could have hidden
00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,272 a nuclear device up Mrs. Clinton's...
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,899 Mr. Thompson, that kid who called in
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,275 the warning was right.
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,277 We uncovered intel that terrorists have obtained
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,112 a nuclear device,
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,615 and that they have most likely hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's...
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,492 Well, in her...
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,535 In her what?
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,787 In her snatch, sir.
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,206 What?!
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,499 What is going on?
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:19,875 I wasn't finished.
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,126 Security measure, Mrs. Clinton.
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,586 Probably nothing. ( phone ringing )
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,254 Yes?
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,632 Mr. Jefferies, this is Alan Thompson with the C.I.A.
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,217 We have reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,470 may have a nuclear device up her snatch.
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,679 A what?!
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,056 A snatch.
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,141 It's the technical term for vagina.
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477 No, I mean what kind of nuclear device?
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,063 Mr. Jefferies, this is Frank Waters.
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,648 It's a suitcase nuke
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,484 designed to fit in a woman's sniz.
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,693 It's called a snuke.
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,654 What is going on, Brian?!
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:50,113 Mrs. Clinton, it appears that terrorists have
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,866 snuck a snuke up your sniz.
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:53,867 Oh, my!
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,077 What do we do?
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,495 Can we disable the timer?
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,913 It won't have a timer.
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,540 Snukes are detonated remotely.
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,792 Whoever our terrorist is has the detonator with him.
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,377 But then that means...
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,170 Yes, if we don't find that detonator,
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,382 everyone in the town of South Park is going to die...
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,134 Forever.
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:23,981 Do we have that phone trace?
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,816 Call is going through now, sir.
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,025 ( phone ringing )
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,068 Yeah.
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,486 This is C.I.A. head Alan Thompson.
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,612 We spoke before about the--
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,738 Yes, Mr. Thompson.
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:32,990 We've just arrived in your town.
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,616 Why? Did you find something?
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,911 Yes, there's a suitcase nuke in Mrs. Clinton's sniz.
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,621 A snuke?
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,039 That's right.
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,708 It's controlled by a remote detonator.
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,043 We have to locate the terrorist before he sets it off.
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:45,919 I have the address of the house
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,254 the terrorist moved into.
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,714 I'm almost there now, where are you?
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:49,840 We're on the town's main street,
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,425 right by an ice-cream shop.
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:52,718 Oh, dude, I'm right next to you.
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:55,804 Oh, hey.
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,724 Dude, we totally got let out of school.
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,475 I know, something big is going on.
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,769 Take a look at this- I did a Google search for
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,229 Hillary Clinton campaign rally, right?
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,731 And one of the links was to YouTube,
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,524 where this Russian guy had a bunch of videos.
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:08,734 Russian?
00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,485 Yeah, this guy, Vladimir Stolfsky.
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,279 He had videos on youtube of every single rally.
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,947 So he's a Hillary Clinton fan.
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,742 No, I cross-referenced his YouTube profile with Myspace,
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,285 and according to his blog,
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,453 he's an old-school communist.
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,121 So what's he doing at every Clinton rally?
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,040 Do a WebCrawler search.
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,833 Maybe he has podcasts up somewhere.
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,084 Oh, that's a good idea.
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,544 ( sirens blaring )
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,670 What is going on?!
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,589 What have we done?!
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,965 They claim they don't know anything about an attack.
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,216 Big surprise.
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,218 Sir, first pass of the house--
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,346 we didn't find a snuke detonator anywhere.
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,890 Mr. Hakeem, where is your son?
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:40,766 We thought he was at school.
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,100 He's not at school?
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,437 Doing great, Mrs. Clinton.
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,938 Do they know how long, Brian?
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,191 How long before the snuke in my sniz goes off?
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,735 They'll find the detonator, Hildog.
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,404 We can't wait for them to find the detonator.
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,157 If we can get to the bomb, maybe we can deactivate it.
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,784 Can't somebody go
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:02,329 and take a look inside Mrs. Clinton's sniz?
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,165 I'm not sending any of my men in there.
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,418 Are you almost ready to set off the bomb?
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,795 Everything is set.
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,089 We have the detonator up and running.
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,804 Mr. Hakeem, we need to know where your son is.
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,514 I tell you I do not know.
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,015 ( sighs )
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,101 This is getting us nowhere.
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,311 If he knows anything, he's not saying.
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,479 Let me have time with him.
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,980 What are you going to do?
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,482 We have to find that detonator.
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,526 Let me have time with him.
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,071 You will tell me where your son is.
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,699 He <i>should</i> be at school.
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:45,330 ( farts )
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,581 Hey!
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,708 ( farts )
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,668 Where is the detonator?
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,462 What detonator are you-- ( farts )
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,131 ( farts )
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,424 I can do this all day.
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,175 I don't know anything about a--
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,636 ( farts )
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,596 Ah... Oh!
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,432 Stop it... Really!
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:04,683 You can make it stop.
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:08,645 I don't have a-- ( farts )
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,021 Are we just gonna let this go on?
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,606 ( farts )
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,650 Okay, I got a text of the Russian guy's podcast.
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,235 It's all a bunch of links to <i>eBay.</i>
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,070 You should be able to search his username on <i>eBay</i>
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,905 and see what he's been buying and selling.
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,365 Farris, setup over there.
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,575 Two of you can take that bed area.
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993 Hey.
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,786 Donner, take over that station.
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,413 What's going on?
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,582 This department is being absorbed by homeland security.
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,834 Homeland security?
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,127 Look, your little game
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,211 of going over people's heads is over.
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,796 You can still work
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,798 but from now on you answer to me-- you got that?
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,133 Excuse me-- who's in charge here?
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,468 I am.
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,094 Yeah, well not any more, you're not.
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,846 This department has just been assigned to the F.B.I.
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,139 That's outrageous!
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,432 On who's order?!
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:46,767 On order of the secretary of defense.
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852 You had your shot, now I'm in charge.
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,395 Not any more you're not.
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,772 Orders just came down from central.
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,774 They want A.T.F. Handling this on all fronts.
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,026 All right, people, from now on you are answering to me.
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,694 Not anymore they're not.
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:58,987 Orders from the president.
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,864 He wants this handled by his staff personally.
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,074 Now Nelson is in charge.
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,327 Not any more I'm not.
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,581 What are you going to do to my wife?
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,167 Nothing, if you tell me where your son is.
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,461 We told you, we don't know!
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,671 Do you know what this is?
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,965 This is apple juice.
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,510 It gives me super-bad farts.
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,846 Did he just inject himself with apple juice?
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181 Where is your son?
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,766 She doesn't know either!
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,976 ( farts ) Ooh, ooh!
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,353 I mean it, stop!
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,395 That is disgusting!
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,814 Where is your mother?
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,024 ( phone ringing )
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,693 Answer it.
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530 Hello-- hello, Baahir.
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,532 Where are you?
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,575 Who is Butters?
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,202 Butters.
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,787 Baahir, one of your classmates is keeping us hostage--
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,623 ( farts ) Ah, ah!
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,834 Oh, you filthy little rapscallion!
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,544 We got him! I know where he is!
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,753 All right, where?
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,088 We'll send our people in.
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,589 No, no, he's my lead.
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,632 You're not going alone!
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,217 You blow in there and you risk taking him down
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,760 without finding the detonator.
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,638 I'm going to find out where it is.
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,139 All right, people, I'm in charge now
00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141 and we will find these terrorists.
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,477 Jarvis, I want you to check for any terrorist chatter on A.O.L.
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,646 Marley and Gregs, try searching for nuclear devices
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,773 on AskJeeves.com.
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,316 Askjeeves? Nobody uses AskJeeves!
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,568 Just Google search it.
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,403 Are you telling me how to do my job?
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,947 Yes, there's a Russian guy named Vladimir Stolfsky
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,574 who's got search-engine hits all over this thing.
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,868 Chase, search the name Stolfsky on YouTube
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,911 and cross-reference it with JDate!
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,079 Checking.
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,706 Look, these Russian guys all have blogs
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:33,999 talking about this like it's just some diversion
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:35,500 for something much bigger.
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,168 Sir, these kids are right.
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,795 We've just received intel that Russian terrorists
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,463 are believed to be responsible for the threat.
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,132 Where is the intel from?
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,758 We just read it on Drudge Report.
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,427 Look, we already have the guy's blog.
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,386 Maybe we can find an address
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,846 and check it out on MapQuest.
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,307 We do this my way, I'm the one in charge!
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,809 Not any more you're not.
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,269 Oh, snap!
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,688 Whoopie!
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,481 I captured another one of your pieces, Baahir!
00:14:58,607 --> 00:14:59,482 Ahh!
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:02,777 Oh, hey, Eric.
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,154 Where is the detonator?!
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,864 The what?
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,490 You have exactly five seconds before I start dropping
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,159 serious apple-juice farts in your face!
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,493 One! Leave me alone!
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,203 Stop!
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:15,540 Hey, I was about to win!
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,876 Stop, terrorist, or I <i>will</i> shoot you!
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,173 ( guns cocking ) Get in the van.
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,343 Uh, that's cool.
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,136 I'm actually not playing anymore.
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,222 ( guns cocking again ) Get in the van!
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:32,307 That's it!
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,600 We don't have a choice anymore!
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,644 Somebody is going to have to go in
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,437 and try to disarm the snuke manually.
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,147 No, it's too dangerous.
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,107 That snatch has not seen action in over 30 years.
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,859 It could be toxic.
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,819 I'll do it.
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,864 I'll check out Mrs. Clinton's sniz.
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,869 Let me go-- please!
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,454 I'm just a little boy!
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,415 You called and warned the government of our plans.
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,710 What you don't know is that we are simply mercenaries.
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,296 We were paid to set off the snuke
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,757 so that the real enemy of America could attack!
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:06,925 That's cool.
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,635 I'm fine with Muslims invading.
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,888 You really think Muslims are behind this terrorist threat?
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,849 Uh, yes, of course.
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769 America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know.
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,146 Who is America's oldest enemy?
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,148 The Russians?
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,692 Before that.
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,651 The Germans?
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236 Before <i>that</i>!
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:27,988 The Germans again?
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,489 Before that!
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,033 I am talking about the oldest threat to America.
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,870 The greatest enemy America has ever known!
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,580 You can't possibly mean--
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,838 200 years we've waited.
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:49,175 Finally... We will get those traitors to the crown!
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,844 ( cell phone ringing )
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,971 Yes, Your Majesty.
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,016 The Russians are ready to set off the diversion.
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,726 Full sail!
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,978 Full sail, Your Majesty.
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:12,657 All right, Brian, this is it.
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,534 Get in there and see if you can
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,495 disarm the snuke in Mrs. Clinton's snatch.
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,084 All right, I'm nearing her sniz now.
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,210 God help him.
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,879 What do you see, Brian?
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,590 It's dark, cold.
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,966 You're doing fine, Brian.
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,468 Get as close as you can.
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,720 You have to look inside the sniz.
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,514 Ugh... Agh.
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,392 All right, I'm looking.
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,395 Yes, I see... I see the device.
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,064 ( coughing )
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,316 You're doing great, Brian, hang in there.
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,902 There's a metal housing,
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,029 some kind of three-pronged triggering mechanism...
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,115 Wait, there's-- there's something else here!
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,576 There's something...
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,078 Say again, Brian.
00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:00,163 There's something perched on the snuke's core.
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,581 It's...
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,583 Oh, God, it's looking at me!
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,876 Brian, get out of there!
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,212 What... What are you?!
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,838 I have no quarrels with you!
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,298 Stay back!
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,300 Stay back, I-- agh-agh!
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,094 Brian-- Brian, what's happening?!
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,513 It's... Eating my head!
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,598 It's eating my head!
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,393 Oh, my!
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,772 I got it, I got it!
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,107 According to PayPal, the Russian guys are
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,942 just hired mercenaries who had ads up on Craigslist
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,527 and got paid through <i>eBay</i>
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,363 so that Boston could be attacked by... The British.
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:34,572 The British?
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,491 Loyalist red coats!
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,660 Sir, I've found the Russian's eHarmony account.
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,870 It does list an address in South Park.
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,163 All right, MapQuest the address!
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,332 I'll use Google maps-- it has live traffic.
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542 Good thinking.
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293 Sir we have the terrorists location.
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,254 I.M.ing you now.
00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,756 It was good knowing you, comrade.
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,716 Please, think about what you are doing.
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,051 The British are just using you.
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:56,511 You're going to die.
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,680 Yes, but we will be rich.
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,723 ( man yelling ) Left flank, breach flank and clear!
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,142 Go, go, go...
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,477 ( all yelling )
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,478 The game is over!
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,813 Get down on the ground!
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523 How did they find us?
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,150 We know about everything.
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,985 Your diversion to help the red coats is over.
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,528 It doesn't matter.
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,280 The detonator is on a timer.
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,407 You are too late.
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,160 In three minutes.
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,291 What the hell?
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,500 ( man ) The power went out.
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,502 So then what time is it?
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,090 Oh, crap.
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,508 Take 'em down!
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,513 No!
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,850 I don't want to die without being paid!
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,768 Ugh!
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,480 The detonator is secure, general.
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,066 You are clear to proceed.
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,117 The rebel Americans know of our attack?!
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,327 How?
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,996 Fire at will!
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,417 ( all screaming )
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,755 ( phone ringing )
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,423 Yes?
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,134 Your Majesty, the attack has failed.
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:23,223 We were... Unable to end the American revolution.
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,474 I see...
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,644 ( blam! )
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,148 Well, looks like we've saved our country
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,733 from British rule once again.
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,652 Yeah, it just proves we need to learn not to
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,111 profile one race of people.
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,781 Because actually most of the world hates us.
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,949 Well, Baahir, I was thinking that
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,408 maybe I owe you an apology.
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,327 Really?
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,287 Yes, but then I realized that, technically, I don't.
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,705 Because by being suspicious of you,
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,374 I saved your life and everyone else's.
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,334 So, really, you owe me an apology.
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,877 But that's cool.
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,128 You didn't save everyone!
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,421 I did!
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,298 You were just out harassing Muslims!
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,758 But if I hadn't called you in the first place
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,426 to check out the Muslims,
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,262 you would have just stayed in bed sick all day, right?
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:03,263 Maybe.
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:05,098 Maybe?
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,182 If I hadn't called you, you wouldn't have been
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,600 on your computer checking out the Clinton rally.
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,603 That means my intolerance of Muslims saved America.
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,063 That is so missing the point.
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,773 Me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bomb
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,733 from going off-- yes or no?
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,193 That's not the right way to look at it--
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,528 Yes or no, Kyle?
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,780 NO... Not... Not like you're saying.
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,323 But that's all I'm saying.
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,825 Today bigotry and racism saved the day.
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,368 Baahir, you get this, right?
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,370 Baahir, get away from that disgusting child!
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,163 Get back home and start packing your things!
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:33,209 We are leaving this whole intolerant country!
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,169 Aww!
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,925 Okay, who got rid of the Muslims, huh?
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,343 That was all me.
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,470 A simple thank you will suffice.

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