Вшивые приключения

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♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

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♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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All right, students,

let's take our seats.

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Apparently, we have

a little problem

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here at the school

which we need to talk about.

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Ah, yes.

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You mean the Jew problem.

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Good, good.

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I'm glad we're finally

gonna do something about it.

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No, I mean

the problem of head lice.

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There's been a lice breakout

at a school in Denver

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and we need to make sure

nobody spreads it here.

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Somebody might

have lice?!

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Ew! Ew!

Ew! Ew!

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So today you're all going to

the gymnasium

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to have your scalps examined.

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That is completely

unnecessary.

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Everyone knows that only

poor people can get lice.

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The only person that can

spread it here is Kenny.

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What?

Fuck you!

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I'm sure this

class is clean,

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but we're gonna be examined

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so that if anyone

has the lice,

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we can stop it

before it spreads.

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Lice can live in

anybody's hair...

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Hello, Kelly.

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How's my baby?

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You mean me

or the little one?

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I mean both.

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Well, besides

a little loneliness

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waiting for Daddy

to come home,

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I guess we're both okay.

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How did a louse like me

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get so lucky to have

a louse like you?

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Luck had nothing

to do with it, Travis.

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Cut, cut!

Watch your back!

00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,543

You okay?

00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,586

Sometimes...

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I just worry what

kind of world

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our baby is

gonna grow up in.

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I need to run out

to the forest

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and do another

sediment analysis.

00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,220

I'm worried we might be

overworking

00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,555

the tertiary layer.

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All students make sure you're

in line according to your grade.

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When you reach the front

of the line,

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you will go behind the curtain

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and remove any hats

to be checked.

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Boy, I sure hope

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they don't find

lice in my hair.

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What do you think happens

if you do have it?

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They drag you

out of here,

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put you in this big

containment facility,

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where they stick a cold

metal pipe up your ass

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with this clear jelly,

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and then they shock your balls.

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I'm clean!

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I knew I didn't have

any stupid lice.

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This is ridiculous.

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All this just so they

can send Kenny

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and his stupid

head lice home.

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Dude, Fuck off!

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Have a seat

on the stool.

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Uh-oh, looks like

you've got 'em.

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What?

00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,504

You have lice.

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Let's see--

Clyde Harris, is it?

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Oh, my God!

00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,301

Oh, Christ, no!

00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,637

Now, now, it's all right.

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We're going to

call your parents

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and get you to

your doctor.

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Please, you don't

understand.

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The other kids are gonna

make fun of me forever!

00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,686

I'm sure your friends

aren't that cruel.

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Yes, they are!

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Mr. President!

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Mr. President, I believe we

have a serious problem!

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The environment is changing.

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I believe it is

somehow reacting

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to our presence on it.

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And what do you

base this on?

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Look, this is

the world, right?

00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:10,459

But now think of the world

as a living being.

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If it were somehow conscious,

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then it would ultimately become

aware of our affect on it.

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Right, the world

is conscious.

00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,802

It makes perfect sense.

00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:21,720

Hello?

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Anybody?

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If we have made too much

of an impact,

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then that consciousness

would try to snuff us out.

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I think we're looking at

a global catastrophe

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the likes of

which we've never seen.

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Poo diggery

and poppycock.

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I think we need to put

all resources

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now into a full investigation,

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perhaps even begin

a lice-wide evacuation.

00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,826

Evacuation?

00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,869

Tomorrow is

the Gootak Festival!

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Do you know how much money

we would lose?

00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:48,914

Escort Mr. Mayfield out.

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The president can't be

bothered any further.

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Damn you,

Vice President Greg!

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You could be killing us all!

00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:01,802

This is so embarrassing.

00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,178

I have an

ear infection.

00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,931

What are you seeing

the doctor for?

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I have...

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I have Aids.

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Clyde Harris?

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Yeah, that's a pretty bad

lice problem there.

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Good thing they

pulled you out of school.

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But why me, doctor?

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Why me?

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How did I get this?!

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Well, believe it or not,

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some lice can actually attach

themselves to flies

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and then wait for the fly

to land on someone's head

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where they can reproduce.

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And then the lice that

live in your head now

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were probably

all born there.

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Sick!

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This shampoo

should take care of it.

00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:36,712

Use this in the shower.

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Your scalp may burn

a bit afterwards

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but it should kill...

Every last one of them.

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Travis, everything okay?

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Kelly, I was just

thinking about our baby.

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I want to name

her... Hope.

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Hope?

00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,696

Hope for a...

Chance at tomorrow.

00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,703

It's raining now?

00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,596

Woo-hoo--

I love the rain!

00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,766

Oh, my God.

00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:33,435

We have to

get out of here!

00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,729

What?

It's just rain.

00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,732

We have to get out

of here now, Kelly!

00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,866

What is that?

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Agh... Agh!

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Ah! Ah

! Ah!

00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,428

Run! Run

! Run!

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Ah, ah, agh!

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Everyone get up

into the trees!

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We have to get up high!

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Come on, Kelly!

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Ahh!

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My God, Travis,

they're all dying!

00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,634

Don't look, Kelly,

don't look.

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,928

What the hell

is it?!

00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,013

It's okay--

we're safe up here.

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,727

I don't think so.

00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,941

Ahh!

00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:08,864

Ahh!

00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,742

Ahh... Ahh!

00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:16,914

Travis!

Kelly, hang on!

00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,082

I can't hang on!

00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,792

You have to!

00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,003

For the baby!

00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:28,050

Ahh!

00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,385

Kelly!

00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,387

No!

00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,390

No!

00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,989

Okay, kids, today we're

going to review

00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,699

some civil war history.

00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,160

Who can tell me what year

the war started?

00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,036

Wait, wait--

whoa, whoa.

00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:56,912

So what happened?

00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:57,704

With what?

00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,956

With the lice exam.

00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,624

Did they find

anybody with lice?

00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,461

Yes, some lice

was discovered

00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,755

and the proper

action has been taken.

00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,507

Somebody in

this class?

00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:09,925

Uh, yes.

00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,927

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,595

Well, who was it?

It was Kenny, right?

00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,639

That doesn't matter--

it's over.

00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:16,807

Doesn't matter?!

00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,600

If somebody had parasites

in their hair,

00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,018

we need to know who!

00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,562

It was Kenny,

wasn't it?

00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:23,939

I wanna know

who it was too.

00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,023

It's being kept

confidential.

00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,526

There's a policy

in the schools not to

00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,486

single out a kid who has lice

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,363

because of the embarrassment

it can cause, okay?

00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,116

That is bullcrap!

00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,867

You are denying our rights

as children

00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:37,369

to totally rip on that kid

00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,745

and make him or her

feel like an outcast.

00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,080

Yeah! Yeah

! Yeah!

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,915

And we have a right to know

which boy had lice in his hair

00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,584

so we don't ever

go out with them.

00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,002

How do we know it

was a boy?

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,962

It could just have easily

been one of you stupid girls.

00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,797

Yeah, dumb girls!

00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,966

The case is closed.

00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,468

Whoever had the lice,

they're dead now.

00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,887

We're moving on

to civil war history.

00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,264

Ulysses S. Grant...

00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,109

Hope...

Hope, you're alive.

00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,703

My God.

00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,079

Yargh!

00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,207

Help me!

00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,002

Help me!

00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,296

Travis... Over here!

00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,051

Travis, if you hadn't warned

us to get up in them trees,

00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,594

we'd all be dead.

00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,512

How many survivors?

00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,181

Just the six of us.

00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,307

And the vice president.

00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,645

You son of a bitch!

00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,772

You had a chance

to stop this!

00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,106

So help me,

if we live through this,

00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,025

I'm gonna see you

rot in prison.

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,859

What do we do now?

00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,111

We aren't

out of this yet.

00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,780

You two, look for

other survivors.

00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,658

You get whatever food you

can and bring it back here.

00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,077

Who put you in charge?

00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:03,622

God did...

When he killed my wife.

00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,795

All right, the person

who had head lice

00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:10,921

needs to speak up right now

00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,756

so that we know

to stay away from you.

00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,134

Yeah, come on!

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,679

We're gonna find out

sooner or later!

00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,013

Okay, whoever you are,

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,724

you are now not only

a lice head, you're a liar!

00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,351

You're only making this

worse on yourself!

00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,228

You know what?

I'll bet it was you.

00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,688

Me?

00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:28,814

This is exactly what

you would do

00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,065

if they found

lice in your hair:

00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,608

try to lead the charge

against somebody else

00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,276

to take the suspicion

off of yourself.

00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,903

I don't think so,

Kyle.

00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,113

But you know what?

00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,197

This is exactly

what you would do

00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,740

if you had had

head lice:

00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,033

try to get

everyone to blame me.

00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,952

You guys, stop it,

this isn't getting us anywhere.

00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,161

That's exactly what

you would do

00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,830

if you had had

head lice, Stan.

00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:45,747

Yeah, try to have everyone

make peace

00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,749

so it doesn't

seem like a big deal.

00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,000

And this is exactly

what Kenny would do:

00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,752

stand here and say

nothing.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,379

Hey, guys,

what would I do?

00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,755

Let's just get a

magnifying glass

00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,215

and look at

everyone's heads.

00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,341

It's too late.

00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,676

The treatment would

have killed it all.

00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,969

I guess we're

never gonna know.

00:11:59,094 --> 00:11:59,928

There's no way to tell.

00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,596

There's a way.

00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,348

There's a way to find out

who had sick-ass head cooties,

00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,141

and I'm gonna find it.

00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,312

It was him.

00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,356

It had to

have been him.

00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,608

Yeah.

00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:14,901

Or you.

00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,114

Mark?

00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,949

Mark, you have to

hang on.

00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:21,825

This isn't going to stop.

00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,077

The world is

rejecting us.

00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,121

If we're gonna live, we have

to get off this planet.

00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,622

How?

00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:28,707

First we've have to

get out of the forest,

00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,250

into the forbidden zone.

00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,377

It's the only way we might

even see another planet.

00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,713

The forbidden zone?

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,965

We'll be exposed--

we'll die out there.

00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,425

We'll die here!

00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,218

Look, the world is

getting rid of us.

00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,261

Don't you get it?!

00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,054

"getting rid of us"?

00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,015

You mean like it knows

what it's doing?

00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,391

Yes!

00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,269

Because maybe we rolled

the dice too many times!

00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,772

I'm not leaving

my husband.

00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,982

Yeah, I'll take

my chances here.

00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,317

You can all stay here.

00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,278

I'm gonna try to

save my baby.

00:12:59,029 --> 00:12:59,863

I'll go with you.

00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,948

There's nothing

left for me here.

00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,325

I wanna go too.

00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,951

Not a chance.

00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,828

Look, I know

I messed up, all right?

00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,413

But I think you're right.

00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:09,998

If we can get out

of the forest,

00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,833

we might find

another place to live.

00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,043

If we find anything,

00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,128

we'll try to send help

for the rest of you.

00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,838

Let's go.

00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,300

Come on if you're coming,

Mr. Vice President.

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,011

Yeah, right behind you.

00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,309

All right,

lock that door, Craig.

00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,812

What's this about,

Cartman?

00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:32,938

I've come up with a test

that can determine

00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,232

if it was any of us

who had the head lice.

00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,150

We're gonna find out,

once and for all,

00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,401

who had head cooties.

00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,282

Lice feed on a person's blood,

00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,076

and just like mosquitoes,

they leave behind small traces

00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,786

of their saliva in the host's

bloodstream.

00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,330

That saliva is molocromagnic.

00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,915

So if an infected person's

blood is touched by

00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,792

this hot metal coil, say,

00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,294

that person's blood will

jump ten meters into the air.

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,172

R-r-r-really?

00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,757

That's retarded!

00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,050

You didn't come up with

that experiment Cartman!

00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,510

You saw it in that movie

The Thing!

00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,389

This is a scientific test

designed to--

00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,974

You saw it in The Thing

00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,183

and you're wasting

everyone's time!

00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,726

I thought you

might say that, Kyle.

00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,728

Because you don't want to

take the test, do you?

00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,313

Nobody's blood is going to

jump up in the air!

00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,398

If it isn't going to work,

then what are you afraid of?

00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,859

The only person who wouldn't

want to take the test

00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,318

is somebody who was

worried it might work

00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,987

and reveal that they were

the ones with lice!

00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,989

Yeah, that's true.

00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,824

I have no problem

taking the test.

00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,325

I have nothing

to h-h-h-hide.

00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,743

Yeah, me neither.

00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329

All right, fine,

I'll do the dumb test!

00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,248

Everyone take a petri dish

and a syringe.

00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,418

We need at least 30 C.C.S

of blood from each one of you.

00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,298

All right, now everyone

back over there.

00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:42,757

We'll start with

what I already know.

00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,306

Oh, guess that proves Eric

00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,056

wasn't the one

with head lice.

00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,182

It doesn't prove

anything!

00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,475

Yeah?

00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,227

Let's just see what

your blood does, Kyle.

00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,567

Huh, I guess

you're clean.

00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,946

You guys,

we better go.

00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:05,906

Recess is almost over.

00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:06,740

It's all right,

won't take much longer to--

00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,199

Agh, agh!

00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:08,366

What the hell?!

00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:12,412

Kenny!

00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,956

No way.

00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,291

You were right

all along, Eric.

00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,459

It was Kenny!

00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,919

Of course I was right.

00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,545

I told you only

poor people get lice!

00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,515

We've done it!

00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,226

We've reached

the forbidden zone!

00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,604

I've always heard stories

about this place.

00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,897

Never thought

it was real.

00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,981

It's real.

00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:43,401

Real as my love

for my unborn baby.

00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,028

So what exactly is

your plan, Travis?

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:48,490

Our ancestors came here

from another world.

00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,575

Maybe there's still

other worlds out there

00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,452

with life forms like us.

00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,454

Maybe there's even

a world where they've learned

00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,915

to live with the planet

instead of just on it.

00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,500

Travis...

00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,836

Travis, you're so wise,

so strong.

00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:02,879

If we make it out of this,

00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:06,257

I'd like to

be with you.

00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,550

Sorry, babe.

00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,679

But my heart is forever

stenciled in permanent ink

00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,014

with the name "Kelly."

00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,975

She was a lucky woman

to have you.

00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,018

Luck had nothing

to do with it.

00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,899

Sorry to cut

the honeymoon short.

00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,610

Why you murdering bastard!

00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:28,571

Your little fantasy of

another world ends here.

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,739

Walk.

00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,282

What the hell do you want,

vice president--

00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:32,450

Walk!

00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,415

Clyde, dude,

get down to the park.

00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,749

We caught Kenny

00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,334

and we're all gonna

let him have it.

00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:42,544

What?

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,004

What are you

gonna do to him?

00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:44,921

He lied to us all.

00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,423

He betrayed his kind.

00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:47,841

We all know

what has to happen.

00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,593

Grab a sock and a bar of soap

and meet us at the park.

00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,390

You guys, wait.

00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:55,932

What, Clyde?

00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:00,061

I... Nothing.

00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,104

All right,

see you there!

00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,605

Remember, a bar of soap

and a sock!

00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:03,606

Kenny's gonna get it!

00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:04,816

Yeah!

Yeah!

00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,943

Yeah, we're gonna

f-f-fuck him up.

00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:12,949

Yello.

00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,743

M. Garrison,

one of your students is about

00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,494

to be attacked at the park

by all the other students.

00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,912

What?

00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,873

Who's going to get attacked?

Who is this?

00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:20,540

Please just

hurry to the park!

00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,042

You have to stop them!

00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,838

That's good,

that's far enough.

00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,840

What are you

going to do?

00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,091

I'm gonna go back

to the village.

00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,634

Start to rebuild.

00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,511

Mate with the females.

00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,597

Become... President.

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,848

Don't you get it?

00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:37,974

The world doesn't

want you here.

00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,893

It's not gonna

stop until you're dead!

00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,061

It was a disaster.

00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,896

Disasters happen.

00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,773

Then go ahead

and die there.

00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,816

I'm leaving with

my baby.

00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,861

Actually, you're never

leaving here either, Travis.

00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,112

Agh!

00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:53,865

Damn you!

00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,784

Why?!

00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,495

Because when I'm president,

I can't have pests like you

00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:02,207

constantly trying to preach

that the world is alive.

00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,875

You're an idealistic fool.

00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,835

The world is not

conscious.

00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,670

We are conscious!

00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:12,884

If the world was alive

it would feel this.

00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,386

Ow.

00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,931

You die here--

00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,850

Ahh!

00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,519

Ahh!

00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,899

Aahhhh!

00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:29,984

Argh.

00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,495

Kenny McCormick,

you are charged with

00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,122

bringing head cooties

into our school

00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,707

and lying about

it to cover your ass.

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,416

How do you plead?

00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,459

not guilty!

00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:47,919

Guilty-- I thought so!

00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,712

All right,

let's do this!

00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,674

You guys, maybe we should just

wait a few more minutes.

00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,759

All right, Kenny,

you know what has to happen.

00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,511

Sock bath!

00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,263

Everyone wash Kenny

with the soap

00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,848

and dry him off

with the socks!

00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,559

No, no, no, not the socks!

00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,061

Wait, wait!

00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,398

Wait, stop it,

stop it!

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,900

I can't let

Kenny be sock-dried.

00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,278

He had cooties

and he lied about it!

00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,530

Kenny, didn't have

the head lice, all right?!

00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,948

It was me.

00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,449

What?

00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:19,951

I was the one.

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,911

I was too afraid

to say anything.

00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,497

But I can't let Kenny

be sock-bathed for it.

00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,207

Why are you

saying that, Kyle?

00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,834

You can't be the one

who had head lice.

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,085

Because I was.

00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,753

You're just trying to

make me feel bad

00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,213

because you figured

that out, didn't you?

00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,173

Wait a minute-- what?

00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,632

Oh, I get it.

00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,092

This is some kind of

big trick on me.

00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,469

You've known I was the one

with head lice all along, huh?

00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,470

You had head lice?!

00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:40,221

Of course!

00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,139

Why do you think

I went through that

00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,974

elaborate bullcrap experiment

to frame Kenny?

00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,310

You all had head lice.

00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,103

Every single person

in the class.

00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,606

The boys and the girls.

00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:53,943

Lice spreads fast,

you dumb-asses.

00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,862

I thought I was

the only one.

00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,697

Me too.

00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:01,951

But that means...

That means Kenny was lying!

00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,620

Sock bath!

00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,830

Sock bath!

00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:15,590

Kelly...

Kelly can you hear me?

00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,760

I don't know if you can.

00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,764

But... I want you

to know I tried.

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,225

I tried to

save our baby.

00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,101

But I let you down, babe.

00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,319

K... Kelly?

00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:22,824

You are welcome here.

00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,284

You're safe now.

00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,161

We've lived here for

generation after generation,

00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,955

never being disturbed.

00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,666

Ha-- we made it, Hope.

00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,001

We made it, Kelly!

00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:41,175

Ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Angelina Jolie!

00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,803

Hello, everyone!

00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:44,679

Hello!

00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:45,740

Очевидно, у нас есть небольшая проблема в школе, которую надо обсудить.

00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:48,920

Ах да. Вы имеете в виду еврейский вопрос.

00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:51,660

Отлично, отлично! Я рад, что мы наконец-то что-нибудь с этим сделаем.

00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:54,150

Нет, я имею в виду проблему вшей.

00:00:54,980 --> 00:01:00,080

Недавно была вспышка педикулёза в школе Дэнвера и мы должны убедиться, что никто не распространит это здесь.

00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:01,560

У кого-то могут быть вши?

00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:06,770

Поэтому сегодня пойдете в спортзал, где проверят ваши головы.

00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:11,940

Ох, в этом нет никакой необходимости. Всем известно, что только бедные могут подхватить вшей.

00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,270

Единственный, кто может их распространить - Кенни.

00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,970

(Че? Иди нахуй!)

00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:22,810

Я уверена, что наш класс чист, но нам надо обследоваться, потому что, если у кого-то ЕСТЬ вши, то мы сможем остановить их до того, как ими заразятся все.

00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,530

Вши могут жить в волосах у любого человека.

00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:42,370

Привет, Келли. Как моя малышка?

00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,510

Ты обо мне или о маленькой?

00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,620

Я об обеих.

00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:51,130

Ну, если не считать того, что мы немного соскучились, пока ждали Папочку домой - я полагаю, мы обе в порядке.

00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:55,740

Как же повезло такой вши, как я, иметь такую вошь, как ты?

00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:57,500

Везение тут не при чём, Трэвис.

00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:05,750

Ты в норме?

00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:11,010

Иногда... Я просто беспокоюсь, в каком мире будет расти наша малышка.

00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:14,410

Мне надо бежать в лес и сделать еще один анализ почвы.

00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:17,080

Я опасаюсь, что мы перегружаем третичный слой.

00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,480

Все учащиеся, убедитесь, что вы в очереди, соответствующей вашему классу.

00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:31,720

Когда придет ваш черёд, вы зайдёте за ширму и снимете любые головные уборы, чтобы вас осмотрели.

00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:36,660

Блин, я надеюсь, что они не найдут вшей у меня.

00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:38,290

Как ты думаешь, что случится, если они у тебя есть?

00:02:38,370 --> 00:02:41,080

Они вытащат тебя отсюда, засунут в этот большой закрытый исследовательский центр,

00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,820

где вставят тебе в задницу холодную металическую трубку с помощью этой прозрачной смазки

00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,480

и потом они пропустят ток через твои яйца.

00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,850

Я чист! Я знал, что у меня не было никаких тупорылых вшей!

00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:53,940

Это нелепо. Все ради того, чтобы отправить Кенни вместе с его вшами домой.

00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,350

(Эй! Отъебись!)

00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:59,130

Садись на стул.

00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:30,020

О-О, похоже ты их подцепил.

00:03:30,230 --> 00:03:30,610

Что?

00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:34,050

У тебя вши. Посмотрим... Клайд Харриc, так?

00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,780

О Боже. Христос, нет!

00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:39,080

Ничего, ничего, все в порядке.

00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,760

Мы позвоним твоим родителям и отправим тебя к вашему врачу.

00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:46,130

Пожалуйста, вы не понимаете. Остальные дети будут вечно смеятся надо мной!

00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,480

Я уверена, твои друзья не такие жестокие.

00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,040

Они как раз такие!

00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,990

Господин Президент! Господин Президент! У нас серьёзная проблема!

00:03:56,410 --> 00:04:02,020

Окружающая среда... меняется. Я уверен, что она как-то реагирует на наше присутствие.

00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,950

И на чём основаны ваши доводы?

00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:10,230

Смотрите, это мир, правильно? Но теперь подумайте о нём, как... о живом существе.

00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:15,870

Если бы он был чувствительным, он бы точно осознал наше влияние на него.

00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:20,120

Ну конечно, мир чувствительный. В этом много здравого смысла.

00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,650

Аууу. Есть кто-нибудь?

00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:30,160

Если мы слишком сильно воздействуем на него, тогда это самое сознание попытается нас погубить!

00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,680

Я думаю, нас ждет глобальная катастрофа, подобных которой мы еще не видели!

00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,890

Враньё и чепуха!

00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:42,310

Я считаю, что мы должны задействовать все ресурсы для полного расследования, возможно даже начать массовую эвакуацию.

00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,920

Эвакуацию?! Завтра Вязко-Липкий Фестиваль.

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Вы знаете, сколько денег мы потеряем?

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Проводите мистера Мэйфилда. Не стоит больше беспокоить Президента.

00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,960

Будь ты проклят, вице-президент Крэйг! Ты погубишь всех нас!

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Это так... стыдно.

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У меня инфекция в ухе. А тебе зачем к врачу?

00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,680

У меня... У меня СПИД.

00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,400

Клайд Харрис?

00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:17,280

Дааа, тут довольно серьёзная проблема со вшами. Хорошо, что тебя отпустили из школы.

00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:20,970

Но почему я, доктор?? Почему я?? Как я этим заразился?!

00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:25,630

Ну, веришь ты или нет, некоторые вши прицепляются к мухам,

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и потом ждут, пока она не сядет на чью-то голову, где они могут размножаться.

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И поэтому вши, которые живут на твоей голове, возможно все и родились там.

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...ОТСТОЙ!

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Этот шампунь позаботится об этом. Используй его в душе.

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После него ты можешь почувствовать небольшое жжение, но...

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это должно убить... их всех до последней.

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Трэвис? Всё нормально?

00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:55,580

Келли, я тут думал о нашей малышке.

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Хочу назвать её... Надеждой.

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Надеждой?

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Надеждой на... шанс в будущем?

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Дождь? Сейчас?

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Ууурраа! Я люблю дождь!

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О мой Бог.

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Нам надо убираться отсюда!

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Зачем, это всего лишь дождь.

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Нам надо убираться отсюда сейчас же, Келли!

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Что это?

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Да ну нах!

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Бежииим!

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Все на деревья! Мы должны забраться повыше!

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Давай, Келли!

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Бог мой, Трэвис, они все умирают!

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Не смотри, Келли! Не смотри!

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Что за чертовщина?!

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Все ОК, мы в безопасности тут наверху!

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Я так не думаю!

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Трэвис!

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Келли! Держись!

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Я не могу... держаться!

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Ты должна! Ради малышки!

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Неееееееееееет!

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Кеееееллиииии!

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НЕТ! НЕЕЕЕЕЕЕЕТ!!

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Хорошо, дети, сегодня мы вспомним историю Гражданской Войны.

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Кто может сказать, в каком году она началась?

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Погодите-погодите, стоп-стоп, так что произошло?

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С чем?

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С проверкой на вшей. Они нашли их у кого-нибудь?

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Д-да, вши были обнаружены и соответствующие меры были приняты.

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Кто-то в этом классе?

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Нуу, да.

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Кто это был? Кенни, да??

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Это не важно, все кончено.

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Не важно?! Если у кого-то паразиты в волосах, мы должны знать, у кого!

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Это был Кенни, не так ли?

00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:23,710

Я тоже хочу знать, кто это был.

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Это конфиденциальная информация!

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Есть такое правило в школах - не называть ребёнка со вшами, потому что это может вызвать оскорбления, окей?!

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Это дерьмо собачье! Вы отрицаете наши права, как детей, обзывать этого ребёнка и заставить его чувствовать себя изгоем!

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Дааа!

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И у нас есть право знать, у кого из мальчиков вши, чтобы больше с ним не гулять!

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Откуда нам знать, что это мальчик? Это так же легко может быть одна из бестолковых девчонок!

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Дааа! Тупые девчонки!

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Дело закрыто! У кого бы ни были вши, они мертвы сейчас!

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Возвращаемся к истории Гражданской Войны.

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Уиллис С. Грант-

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Надежда. Надя, ты цела.

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Боже мой...

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Помоги мне... Помоги мнеее...

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Трэвис. Сюда!

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Трэвис, если бы ты не предупредил нас насчет деревьев, мы бы все погибли.

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Сколько выживших?

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Только шесть из нас.

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И вице-Президент.

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Ты, сучий потрох! У тебя был шанс предотвратить это!

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И если мы переживём это, гнить тебе в тюрьме!

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Что нам теперь делать?

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Мы еще не выбрались! Вы двое - ищите живых.

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Вы - несите сюда любую пищу, которую сможете найти.

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Кто назначил тебя главным?!

00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,830

Господь! Когда убил мою жену!

00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:12,810

Ну ладно, субъект, у которого были вши должен сказать об этом немедленно, чтобы мы могли держаться от тебя подальше!

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Да, колись! Мы узнаем, рано или поздно.

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ОК, кто бы ты ни был, теперь ты не просто вшивый - ты вшивый лжец!

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Только делаешь себе хуже!

00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,910

Знаешь что? Держу пари, это был ты!

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Я??

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Ты бы поступил именно так, если б они нашли вшей в твоих волосах!

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Попытался бы переложить вину на кого-нибудь, чтобы снять подозрения с себя!

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Я так не думаю, Кайл! Но ты знаешь что?! ТЫ бы поступил именно так, если бы вши были у тебя!

00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:39,890

Попытался бы спустить всех собак на меня!

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Пацаны, стойте! Это ни к чему нас не приведёт!

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А так бы поступил ты, если бы имел вшей, Стэн.

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Угу, попробовал бы всех помирить, как будто тут нет ничего страшного.

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А так бы поступил Кенни: стоял бы там и молчал!

00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:52,650

Эй ребят, а что бы я сделал?

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А давайте возьмём увеличительное стекло и посмотрим голову каждого.

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Слишком поздно. Обработка их всех убила.

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Ну тогда, я полагаю, мы никогда не узнаем. Не о чем тут говорить.

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Есть способ! Есть способ выяснить, у кого были сраные вши!

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И я выясню!

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Это был он. Это просто обязан был быть он!

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Ага...

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Или ты.

00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,390

Марк? Марк, ты должен держаться.

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Этим дело не закончится. Мир отвергает нас! Если мы собираемся выжить, нам надо покинуть эту планету.

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Как?

00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:32,670

Сначала надо выбраться из леса, в запретную зону. Это единственный шанс, как мы можем хотя бы увидеть другую планету!

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Запретную зону... Мы подвергнем себя огромному риску. Там мы погибнем.

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Мы погибнем здесь! Как вы не поймёте, мир избавляется от нас! Неужели не дошло?!

00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,080

Избавляется? Типа, как будто он знает, что делает?

00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:49,290

Да! Может потому, что мы слишком часто полагались на "авось"!

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Я не брошу своего мужа.

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И я рискну остаться.

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Вы все можете остаться. Я попытаюсь спасти мою малышку.

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Я иду с тобой. Здесь ничего не осталось для меня.

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Я тоже хочу пойти.

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Без шансов.

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Да ладно тебе, я знаю, что облажался, так?

00:13:07,550 --> 00:13:11,920

Но я думаю, ты прав. Если нам удастся выбраться из леса, то может найдем другое место, где сможем жить.

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Если мы найдем что-нибудь, то постараемя отправить помощь за вами.

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Идёмте.

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Пошли, если идешь, мистер вице-Президент!

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Ага. Прямо за вами.

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Хорошо, закрой дверь, Крэйг!

00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:31,880

Зачем всё это, Картмэн?

00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:35,280

Я придумал тест, который может показать, есть ли среди нас кто-то, у кого были вши.

00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,830

Мы определим раз и навсегда, у кого они были.

00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:47,630

Вши питаются человеческой кровью, и как комары, они оставляют небольшие следы своей слюны в крови.

00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:49,710

Эта слюна монохромомагнитна.

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Так что, если дотронуться до крови зараженного человека этой... горячей металлической проволокой, то...

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его кровь брызнет вверх на 10 метров.

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Т-т-ты серьёзно?

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Это тупо! Ты не придумал этот опыт, ты видел его в том фильме, "Нечто".

00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,270

Это научный тест, разработанный для то-

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Ты видел это в "Нечто" и мы зря теряем тут время.

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Я подумал, ты говоришь это, Кайл, затем, чтобы не проходить тест, так ведь?!

00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,630

Ничья кровь не брызнет никуда!

00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:17,470

Если это не сработает, чего же ты боишься?

00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,210

Только тот не захочет проверяться, кто беспокоится, что опыт выдаст его ВШЕЙ!

00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,990

Угу. Это верно.

00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,580

У меня нет проблем с проверкой. Мне нечего ск-ск-скрывать.

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Мне тоже.

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Ну ладно, отлично. Я пройду глупый тест.

00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:35,320

Все берут по чашке Петри и шприцу. Нам надо как минимум 30 кубиков крови каждого из вас.

00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,120

Прекрасно, теперь все всозвращаются сюда!

00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,930

Начнем с того, в ком я и так уверен.

00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,950

Ну, похоже это доказывает, что у Эрика не было вшей.

00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:51,660

Это ничего не доказывает!

00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:54,590

Да ну? Давай ка посмотрим, как поведёт себя твоя кровь, Кайл!

00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:01,020

Хмм, полагаю, ты здоров.

00:15:03,430 --> 00:15:05,910

Р-ребята, нам лучше пойти. Перемена уже закончилась.

00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,620

Ничего, это не затянется надолго, просто-

00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:09,480

Что за чёрт?!

00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:13,140

Кенни!!

00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:15,190

Быть того не может.

00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,830

Ты все это время был прав, Эрик. Это Кенни.

00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,720

Конечно Я был прав! Я же говорил, только бедняки цепляют вшей!

00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:34,480

Мы сделали это. Мы достигли запретной зоны.

00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:39,170

Я всегда слышала истории об этом месте. Никогда не думала, что оно реально.

00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:43,760

Оно реально. Реально, как моя любовь к моей нерождённой малышке.

00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,350

Итак, каковы детали твоего плана, Трэвис?

00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:52,090

Наши предки прибыли из другого мира. Может ещё есть другие миры где-нибудь, с формами жизни, похожими на нас.

00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:57,260

Возможно даже есть мир, где они научились жить вместе с планетой, а не просто на ней.

00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,220

Трэвис. Трэвис, ты такой мудрый, такой сильный.

00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:06,700

Если мы сможем отсюда выбраться, я бы хотела... быть с тобой.

00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:13,020

Прости, крошка, но моё сердце навечно связано невидимой нитью с именем Келли.

00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:15,360

Ей повезло, что у нее был ты.

00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,660

Везение тут не при чём.

00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,410

Прости, что так быстро прервал медовый месяц!

00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,920

Вот ты ублюдочный убийца!

00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,870

Твоя маленькая мечта о другом мире кончается здесь! Иди!

00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,790

Какого хрена тебе надо, вице-Президент?!

00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:32,350

ШАГАЙ!

00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:41,150

Клайд, чувак, давай быстро в парк. Мы поймали Кенни, и мы все его вздрючим!

00:16:42,020 --> 00:16:43,520

Что? Что вы собираетесь с ним сделать?

00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:47,650

Он врал нам всем! Он предал свой род! Мы все знаем, что должно случиться.

00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:50,750

Бери носок и кусок мыла, встретимся в парке!

00:16:53,190 --> 00:16:54,160

Пацаны, погодите.

00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:56,240

Чего, Клайд?

00:16:57,770 --> 00:16:59,850

Я... ничего.

00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:03,690

ОК, увидимся на месте! Запомни, кусок мыла и носок! Кенни получит!

00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:04,620

Дааа!

00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,160

Ага! Мы его от-от-отхуячим!

00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,040

Аллё?

00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,660

Миссис Гаррисон, одного из ваших учеников побьют в парке его одноклассники.

00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,220

Что? Кого побьют? Кто это?!

00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:22,010

Пожалуйста, просто поторопитесь в парк! Вы должны их остановить!

00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,320

Хорошо! Уже достаточно далеко!

00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:28,880

Что ты собрался делать?

00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:36,030

Вернуться в деревню, начать строить заново, спариваться, стать... Президентом!

00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,080

Ты что, тупой? Мир не хочет тебя здесь! Он не остановится, пока ты не сдохнешь!

00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:43,000

Это была ужасная катастрофа! Такое случается!

00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,980

Тогда вали и умри там, я ухожу с моей малышкой!

00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:50,390

Вообще-то, ты никуда не пойдешь, Трэвис!

00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,200

Будь ты проклят! Почему?!

00:17:55,590 --> 00:18:01,770

Потому что, когда я Президент, мне не нужны вредители вроде тебя, проповедующие, что мир - живой!

00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:07,870

Ты идеалист и дурак! Мир не чувствительный, мы чувствительные!

00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:11,350

Если бы он был живым, то почувствовал бы это!

00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:14,420

Ой.

00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:17,320

Ты умрёшь зде-

00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:44,860

Кенни МакКормик, ты обвиняешься в распространении вшей в нашей школе и вранье, для прикрытия своего очка!

00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:45,770

Что ты можешь на это ответить?!

00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:46,730

(Не виновен!)

00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:48,160

Виновен! Я так и знал!

00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:49,950

Ну что, сделаем это!

00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,700

Пацаны, может нам... подождать ещё пару минут?

00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,770

Кенни, ты знаешь, что должно произойти!

00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,820

МЫТЬЁ НОСКАМИ!

00:18:57,660 --> 00:19:00,100

Все моем Кенни мылом и вытираем носками!

00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:02,830

Нет! Нет, нет, не надо носками, ребят!

00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,420

Горе... горе!

00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,500

Подождите... стойте, остановитесь!

00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,590

Я не могу позволить, чтоб Кенни вытерли носками.

00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,330

У него были вши и он врал об этом!

00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,210

Не было у него ничего, ок?!

00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:16,810

Это был я.

00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,380

Чего?

00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:24,270

Я это был. Только боялся сказать, но Кенни не заслужил мытьё носками.

00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:28,330

Зачем ты так говоришь, Кайл? Не могло у тебя быть насекомых.

00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,090

Они были у меня. Ты просто хочешь причинить мне боль, потому что выяснил это, ведь так?!

00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:33,320

Эй, погидите чутка, что?

00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:36,100

Опа, я понял. Наколоть меня решили!

00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,660

Вы знали, что я был вшивым все это время, да?!

00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,700

Они были у тебя??

00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:43,010

Конечно! Зачем, ты думаешь, я прошел через этот тщательно продуманный идиотский эксперимент, чтобы подставить Кенни?!

00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:45,120

У всех были вши!

00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:49,370

У всех до одного в классе! У мальчиков и у девочек!

00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:52,020

Вши быстро размножаются, тупые ваши задницы!

00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,630

Я думал, я был один.

00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:56,920

Я тож.

00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:01,520

Но это значит... значит, что Кенни ВРАЛ!

00:20:02,340 --> 00:20:05,050

Мытьё носками!

00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:05,930

Чуваки!

00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:17,990

Келли. Келли, ты меня слышишь? Не знаю, можешь ли ты.

00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:26,930

Но... я хочу чтобы ты знала. Я пытался спасти нашу малышку. Но подвел тебя, детка.

00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:36,930

Кхх... к-Келли?

00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,670

Тебе здесь рады.

00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:28,830

Сейчас тебе ничто не угрожает. Мы живём здесь поколение за поколением, без каких либо тревог.

00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,520

Ха. У нас получилось, Надя. У НАС ПОЛУЧИЛОСЬ, КЕЛЛИ!!

00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:41,200

Леди и джентельмены, мисс Анжелина Джоли!

00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:42,770

Всем привет!

00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:45,100

Привет!

00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:47,750

Всё by 4elovek.

Ногами не бить - проба пера :-)

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,700

Все персонажи и события в этом шоу, даже те, которые основаны

на реальных людях, являются полностью вымышленными.

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Все известные голоса исполнены .. неудачно.

00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,000

Следующая программа содержит нецензурные выражения или оскорбления и вследствие чего эта передача не должна просматриваться кем-либо.

00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000

Перевод Виктор Д.

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♪ Я ухожу в Южный Парк, буду проводить своё время,

00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:16,059

♪ Дружелюбные лица везде, скромные люди без соблазна,

00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:19,250

♪ Я иду в Южный Парк, собираюсь оставить мои беды позади

00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,722

♪ Просторная парковка днём или ночью,

люди, восклицающие: "Привет, сосед",

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♪ Я отправляюсь в Южный Парк, посмотрю, смогу ли я расслабиться

00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:29,352

♪ Мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами,

мне нравятся девки с большими жирными сиськами,

00:00:29,352 --> 00:00:33,000

♪ Так приходи в Южный Парк и встреть некоторых моих друзей.

00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,810

ВШИ

1103

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Так, ученики, займите свои места. Судя по всему, у нас есть

небольшая проблема в школе, которую мы должны обсудить.

00:00:45,990 --> 00:00:51,714

Ах да! Вы имеете в виду Еврейский вопрос. Хорошо, хорошо.

Я рад, что мы, наконец, сделаем что-нибудь с этим.

00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:57,486

Нет, я имею в виду вопрос вшей.

Была вспышка педикулёза в школе в Денвере,

00:00:57,506 --> 00:01:03,187

и мы должны убедиться, что никто не разносит их здесь.

- У кого-то могут быть вши? /- Фуууу!

00:01:03,207 --> 00:01:07,570

Итак сейчас вы все пойдёте в спортзал,

где ваши волосы на голове будут проверены.

00:01:07,590 --> 00:01:12,165

Э-э, э-это абсолютно не нужно.

Всем известно, что только бедные люди могут завести вшей.

00:01:12,185 --> 00:01:16,029

Единственный человек, кто может распространять их здесь, это Кенни.

- Что? Пошёл ты!

00:01:16,049 --> 00:01:20,834

Я уверен, что этот класс чист, но мы собираемся проверить,

и если у кого-то есть вши,

00:01:20,854 --> 00:01:34,854

мы сможем остановить их, прежде чем они расползутся.

Вши могут жить в волосах каждого.

00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:45,070

- Привет, Келли. Как моя baby?

- Ты имеешь в виду меня или малыша?

00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:49,646

- Я имею в виду обоих.

- Ну, кроме некоторого одиночества ожидания папиного прихода домой

00:01:49,666 --> 00:01:55,770

я думаю, что мы обе в порядке.

- Как вше (отвратный тип), как я так повезло иметь вошь, как ты?

00:01:55,790 --> 00:02:04,790

- Везение не имеет ничего общего с этим, Трэвис.

- Она почти упала! Хорошо, хорошо! Аккуратней сзади!

00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:11,570

- Ты в порядке?

- Иногда я просто беспокоюсь, что за мир, где наш ребёнок вырастет.

00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:22,870

Мне нужно сбегать в лес и сделать ещё один анализ отложений.

Я волновался, что мы могли истощить третичный слой.

00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:28,471

Все ученики, убедитесь, что вы находитесь в очереди,

соответствующей вашему классу. Когда вы дойдёте до начала очереди,

00:02:28,491 --> 00:02:36,870

вы пройдёте за занавеску и снимете все шапки, чтобы провериться.

- Ребята, я очень надеюсь, что они не найдут вшей в моих волосах.

00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,745

- Что ты думаешь произойдёт, если у тебя есть вши?

- Они утаскивают тебя отсюда,

00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:43,906

помещают тебя в этот большой изолятор, где они втыкают холодную

металлическую трубку тебе в жопу с этим 'чистым желе',

00:02:43,926 --> 00:02:50,070

а затем они бьют тебе по яйцам.

- Я чист! Я знал, что у меня не было никаких идиотских вшей!

00:02:50,090 --> 00:02:54,271

Это смешно. Всё это только чтобы они смогли отправить Кенни

и его идиотских вшей домой.

00:02:54,291 --> 00:03:09,403

- Ты, отвали!

- Присаживася на стул.

00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:31,007

- О-го, похоже у тебя есть они.

- Что?

00:03:31,027 --> 00:03:37,070

- У тебя есть вши. Давай посмотрим.. Клайд Харрис, так?

- О, мой Бог. О Господи, нет!

00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:42,970

Так-так, ничего страшного.

Мы позвоним твоим родителям, и тебя отведут к врачу.

00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:46,570

Пожалуйста, в-вы не понимаете.

Остальные дети будут смеяться надо мной вечно!

00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:51,670

- Я уверена, что твои друзья не столь жестоки.

- Да, так и есть!

00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:58,812

М-р Президент! М-р Президент! Я считаю, у нас есть серьёзная

проблема! Окружающая среда.. меняется.

00:03:58,832 --> 00:04:04,570

Я думаю, она как-то реагирует на наше присутствие в ней.

- А на чём вы это основываете?

00:04:04,590 --> 00:04:11,270

Смотрите, это мир, так?

Но вот, представим мир как.. живое существо.

00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:16,670

Если бы оно было так или иначе сознательным, то ему

в конечном итоге стало бы известно о нашем влиянии на него.

00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:25,070

Ха, точно, мир сознателен. Это совершенно логично.

Привет. Есть кто?

00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:30,570

Если мы оказали слишком большое влияние,

тогда это сознание будет пытаться уничтожить нас!

00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:37,218

Я думаю, что мы стоим пред глобальной катастрофой,

подобной которой мы никогда не видели! /- 'Бред' и туфта!

00:04:37,238 --> 00:04:42,570

Я думаю, что мы должны бросить сейчас все ресурсы на полное

расследование, может, даже начать все-вшивую эвакуацию.

00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:47,959

Эвакуация?! Завтра фестиваль Гутака.

Знаете ли вы, сколько денег мы потеряем?

00:04:47,979 --> 00:04:52,370

Выпроводите м-ра Мэйфилда. Президента нельзя беспокоить далее.

00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:58,870

Чёрт бы вас побрал, вице-президент Крейг!

Вы можете уничтожить нас всех!

00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:05,970

- Это так.. неловко.

- У меня ушная инфекция. Ты почему прошёл к врачу?

00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:13,870

- У меня.. У меня СПИД.

- Клайд Харрис!

00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:17,570

Да, там у вас довольно серьёзная проблема со вшами.

Хорошо, что они отправили тебя из школы.

00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:23,500

- Но почему я, доктор? Почему я?! Как это у меня вышло?!

- Ну, поверишь или нет, но некоторые вши могут

00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:28,038

фактически самостоятельно цепляться за мух, а затем ждать,

пока муха приземлиться на чью-нибудь голову,

00:05:28,058 --> 00:05:33,622

где они могут размножаться. И тогда вши, которые живут

в твоей голове сейчас, были, вероятно, все рождены там. /- Ужас!

00:05:33,642 --> 00:05:49,880

Этот шампунь должен всё сделать. Используй это в душе. Твою кожу

может чуть жечь после, но.. Следует убить.. их всех до одного.

00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:58,880

- Трэвис? Всё в порядке?

- Келли, я вот думаю о нашем ребёнке. Я хочу назвать её Надежда.

00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:08,280

- Надежда?

- Надежда на.. шанс на завтра?

00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:30,180

- Идёт дождь? Сейчас?

- Ух! Я люблю дождь!

00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:35,680

- О, мой Бог. Мы должны выбраться отсюда!

- Почему же, это просто дождь.

00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:46,580

Мы должны выбраться отсюда сейчас, Келли!

00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:57,512

Что это?

00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:17,400

Бегите!

00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:39,360

Все забирайтесь на деревья! Мы должны залезть высоко!

Давай, Келли!

00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:47,680

- Боже мой, Трэвис. Они все умирают!

- Не смотри, Келли! Не смотри!

00:07:47,700 --> 00:08:07,100

- Что, чёрт возьми, это?!

- Ну, всё хорошо, что мы в безопасности здесь!

- Я так не думаю!

00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:17,280

- Трэвис!

- Келли! Держись!

00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:44,746

- Я не могу.. держаться!

- Ты должна! Ради ребёнка! Келли! Нет! Нет!

00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:55,200

Так, дети, сегодня мы будем рассматривать историю Гражданской

Войны. Кто может сказать мне в каком году началась война?

00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,001

- Подождите, стойте, эй, эй. Так что же случилось?

- С чем?

00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:07,208

- С проверкой вшей. Нашли ли они кого-нибудь со вшами?

- Н-да, вши были обнаружены и надлежащие меры были приняты.

00:09:07,228 --> 00:09:12,308

- Кто-то в этом классе?

- Э-э, да.

00:09:12,328 --> 00:09:16,508

- Ну, кто это был? Это был Кенни, так??

- Это не имеет значения, всё кончено.

00:09:16,528 --> 00:09:22,100

Не имеет значения?! Если у кого-то были паразиты в волосах,

мы должны знать у кого! Это был Кенни, не так ли?

00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:26,362

- Я хочу знать, кто это был, тоже.

- Это всё секретно!

00:09:26,382 --> 00:09:32,708

Таковы правила в школах не указывать ребёнка, который имеет

вшей, из-за позора, который это может вызвать, ясно?!

00:09:32,728 --> 00:09:39,408

Это чушь! Вы отрицаете наши права, как детей, разтеразать

этого ребёнка и заставить его или её чувствовать себя изгоем!

00:09:39,428 --> 00:09:39,965

- Да!

- Да!

00:09:39,985 --> 00:09:43,908

И у нас есть право знать, у кого из мальчиков вши

в его волосах, чтобы мы никогда не водились с ними!

00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:47,608

Откуда мы знаем, что это мальчик?

Это же может запросто быть одна из вас, глупые девчонки!

00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:53,808

- Да! Тупые девочки!

- Дело закрыто! Кто бы ни имел вшей, они теперь мертвы!

00:09:53,828 --> 00:10:05,828

Мы переходим к истории Гражданской войны. Улисс С. Грант..

00:10:06,828 --> 00:10:27,408

- Надежда. Надежда, ты жива. Боже мой..

- Помоги мне.. Помоги мне..

00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:35,812

Трэвис. Сюда! Трэвис, если бы ты не предупредил нас

залезть на эти деревья, мы все были бы мертвы.

00:10:35,832 --> 00:10:43,708

- Сколько выживших?

- Только шестеро нас. И вице-президент.

00:10:43,728 --> 00:10:50,308

Ты сукин сын! У тебя был шанс остановить это! Если выйдет,

если мы переживём это, я увижу тебя гниющим в тюрьме!

00:10:50,328 --> 00:10:53,308

- Что же нам теперь делать?

- Мы не выбрались изо всего этого ещё!

00:10:53,328 --> 00:10:57,908

Вы двое ищите других выживших.

Вы добудьте пищи, сколько сможете и несите её сюда.

00:10:57,928 --> 00:11:07,928

- Кто поставил тебя главным?!

- Господь! Когда он убил мою жену!

00:11:08,728 --> 00:11:15,308

Так, тот, у кого были вши должен сказать прямо сейчас,

чтобы мы знали, от кого держаться подальше!

00:11:15,328 --> 00:11:21,961

Да, давай! Мы выясним рано или поздно. Хорошо,

кто бы ты ни был, ты теперь не только вшивая башка,

00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:27,834

ты - врун! Ты только делаешь этим хуже себе!

- Вы знаете, что? Бьюсь об заклад, что это ты! /- Я?

00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,778

Это именно то, что бы ты сделал, если бы нашли вшей в волосах!

Попробовал привести обвинение против кого-то ещё,

00:11:31,779 --> 00:11:35,986

чтобы отвести подозрения от себя!

- Я так не думаю, Кайл! Но ты знаешь, что?!

00:11:36,006 --> 00:11:40,008

Это именно то, что ты бы сделал, если бы у тебя были вши!

Попробовал заставить всех обвинять меня!

00:11:40,028 --> 00:11:45,008

- Вы, ребята, перестаньте! Это не приведёт нас никуда!

- Это именно то, что сделал бы ты, если б у тебя были вши, Стэн.

00:11:45,028 --> 00:11:47,813

Да, постарался всех примирить,

чтобы это не выглядело, как значимое дело.

00:11:47,828 --> 00:11:52,708

- И это именно то, что делал бы Кенни: Стоял здесь

и нечего не говорил! /- Эй, ребята, что бы я делал?

00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:55,608

Давайте просто достанем увеличительное стекло

и посмотрим у каждого головы.

00:11:55,628 --> 00:12:00,108

- Это слишком поздно. Лечение должно убить их всех.

- Ну, я думаю, мы никогда не узнаем. Не существует способа узнать.

00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:08,808

Существует способ! Есть способ выяснить, у кого были

мерзкие головные вши! И я собираюсь выяснить это!

00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:18,208

- Это был он. Это должен быть он!

- Да.. Или ты.

00:12:18,228 --> 00:12:24,077

- Марк! Марк, ты должен держаться.

- Это не собирает прекращаться. Мир отвергает нас!

00:12:24,097 --> 00:12:27,268

Если мы выживем, нам придётся убраться с этой планеты.

- Как?

00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:33,708

Сначала мы должны выйти из леса, в запрещённую зону. Это один

способ, как мы смогли бы только увидеть другую планету!

00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:38,690

- Запрещённая зона.. Мы раскроемся. Мы умрём там.

- Мы умрём здесь!

00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:42,821

Смотрите, мир избавиться от нас! Разве вы не понимаете?!

- Избавляется от нас?

00:12:42,841 --> 00:12:50,308

- Ты-ты имеешь в виду, что он знает, что он делает?

- Да! Потому что, возможно, мы шли на риск слишком много раз!

00:12:50,328 --> 00:12:54,308

- Я не оставлю моего мужа.

- Да, я воспользуюсь шансом здесь.

00:12:54,328 --> 00:12:59,108

Вы все можете остаться здесь.

Я собираюсь попытаться спасти моего ребёнка.

00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:05,208

- Я пойду с тобой. Ничего не осталось для меня здесь.

- Я хочу пойти тоже. /- Ни в коем случае.

00:13:05,228 --> 00:13:08,908

Слушай, я знаю, что я всё испортил, верно?

Но я думаю, что ты прав.

00:13:08,928 --> 00:13:13,267

Если мы сможем выбраться из леса, мы может найдём

другое место для проживания. Если мы найдём что-нибудь,

00:13:13,287 --> 00:13:20,508

мы постараемся направить помощь для оставшихся из вас вас.

Пойдём. Давай, если ты идёшь, м-р Вице-Президент!

00:13:20,528 --> 00:13:27,528

Да. Прямо за тобой.

00:13:27,928 --> 00:13:31,908

- Так, закрой эту дверь, Крейг!

- В чём дело, Картман?

00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:35,708

Я придумал тест, который может определить,

есть ли кто из нас, у кого были вши.

00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:44,349

Мы собираемся выяснить раз и навсегда, у кого были

головные вши. Вши питаются кровью человека,

00:13:44,369 --> 00:13:50,308

и так же, как комары, они оставляют небольшие следы их слюны

в кровотоке хозяина. Это слюна - монохромагнетик.

00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:53,908

Так что, если в крови инфицированного человека дотронутся

этой горячей металлической спиралькой, говорят..

00:13:53,928 --> 00:13:59,609

Кровь того человека подпрыгнет на 10 метров в воздух.

- Н..на самом деле?

00:13:59,629 --> 00:14:06,308

Это тупо! Ты не придумал этот эксперимент, Картман.

Ты видел его в том фильме "Нечто"!

00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:10,408

- Это научный тест, созданный для..

- Ты видел это в "Нечто", и ты напрасно тратишь время каждого!

00:14:10,428 --> 00:14:13,931

Я думал, что бы ты мог сказать так, Кайл.

Потому что ты не хочешь пройти этот тест, не так ли?!

00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:17,608

- Ничья кровь не будет подпрыгивать в воздух!

- Если он не сработает, то чего ты боишься?

00:14:17,628 --> 00:14:20,566

Единственный человек, который не хотел бы пройти тест

это тот, кто переживает, что это могло бы сработать

00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:24,208

и показать, что они были именно те, со вшами!

- Да. Это правда.

00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:31,808

- У меня нет проблем пройти тест. Мне нечего с..скрывать.

- Да. Я тоже. /- Ладно, хорошо. Я пройду этот дурацкий тест.

00:14:31,828 --> 00:14:39,808

Каждый берёт чашку Петри и шприц.

Нам нужно по крайней мере 30 кубиков крови от каждого из вас.

00:14:39,828 --> 00:14:47,508

Хорошо, теперь все возвращаемся туда! Мы начнём с того, что я уже знаю.

00:14:47,528 --> 00:14:51,718

- Ну, думаю, что доказывает, что Эрик был не тот, со вшами.

- Это не доказывает ничего!

00:14:51,738 --> 00:15:03,408

Да? Давай просто посмотрим, как твоя кровь среагирует, Кайл!

Ха, я думаю, ты чист.

00:15:03,428 --> 00:15:08,708

- В-вы, ребята, нам лучше идти. Перемена почти закончилась.

- Всё в порядке, это не продлится слишком долго, только..

00:15:08,728 --> 00:15:14,120

- Какого чёрта?!

- Кенни!

00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:18,008

- Не может быть.

- Ты был прав с самого начала, Эрик. Это был Кенни.

00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:30,884

Конечно, я был прав! Я говорил вам, только бедные люди разводят вшей!

00:15:30,904 --> 00:15:37,147

Мы сделали это. Мы достигли запретной зоны.

Я всегда слышала рассказы об этом месте.

00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:43,542

Никогда не думала, что она реально существовала.

- Она реальна. Реальна, как моя любовь к моему не рождённому ребёнку.

00:15:43,562 --> 00:15:48,118

- Так каков именно твой план, Трэвис?

- Наши предки пришли сюда из другого мира.

00:15:48,138 --> 00:15:57,142

Может, есть ещё другие миры поблизости с формами жизни, как наша.

Может, даже есть мир, где они научились жить с планетой, а не просто на ней.

00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:06,242

Трэвис. Трэвис, ты такой мудрый, такой сильный.

Если мы выберемся отсюда, я хотела бы.. быть с тобой.

00:16:06,262 --> 00:16:13,042

Прости, детка, но моё сердце навсегда подписано

стойкими чернилами именем Келли.

00:16:13,062 --> 00:16:20,642

- Она была везучей женщиной, имея тебя.

- Удача не имела ничего общего с этим.

00:16:20,662 --> 00:16:25,342

- Жаль сокращать медовый месяц!

- Почему, ты, убивающий ублюдок!

00:16:25,362 --> 00:16:36,942

- Твои маленькие фантазии по другому миру заканчиваются здесь! Иди!

- Какого чёрта ты хочешь, вице-президент?! /- Иди!

00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:41,642

Клайд, чувак, 'пойдём веселиться' в парк.

Мы поймали Кенни, и мы все собираемся надавать ему!

00:16:41,662 --> 00:16:45,817

- Что? Что вы собираетесь делать с ним?

- Он лгал нам всем! Он предал своё племя!

00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:52,742

Мы все знаем, что должно произойти.

Захвати носок и кусок мыла, и встречайся с нами в парке!

00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:59,942

- Вы, ребята, подождите.

- Что, Клайд?

- Я.. ничего.

00:16:59,962 --> 00:17:03,410

Ладно, увидимся там! Помни, кусок мыла и носок! Кенни получит!

00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:11,842

- Да! /- Да!

- Да! Мы собираемся фу- его!

00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:16,642

- Алё! /- Миссис Гаррисон, один из ваших учеников

вот-вот будет атакован в парке всеми другими учениками.

00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:24,142

- Что? На кого собираются напасть? Кто это?!

- Пожалуйста, просто спешите в парк! Вы должны остановить их!

00:17:24,162 --> 00:17:28,842

- Так хорошо! Это достаточно далеко!

- Что ты собираешься делать?

00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:35,842

Я собираюсь вернуться в деревню, начать восстанавливать,

спариваться с самками, стать.. Президентом!

00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:40,042

Разве ты не понимаешь? Мир не хочет тебя здесь!

Он не остановится, пока ты не умрёшь!

00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:46,942

- Это была катастрофа! Катастрофы случаются!

- Тогда вперёд и умри там, я ухожу с моим малышом!

00:17:46,962 --> 00:17:55,142

- На самом деле, ты никогда не уйдёшь отсюда, Трэвис!

- Будь ты проклят! Почему?!

00:17:55,162 --> 00:18:01,942

Потому что, когда я президентом, я не могу иметь дел с вредителями

как ты, постоянно пытающимися проповедовать, что мир живой!

00:18:01,962 --> 00:18:27,162

Ты идеалистический дурак! Мир не "сознателен". Мы сознательны!

Если бы мир был живым, он бы почувствовал это! Ты умри он..

00:18:37,762 --> 00:18:45,343

Кенни Маккормик, ты обвиняешься в приносе вшей в нашу школу,

и обманывании об этом, чтобы покрыть свою задницу!

Как ты ответишь на обвинения?!

00:18:45,363 --> 00:18:48,442

- Не виновен!

- Виновен! Я так и думал!

00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:52,642

- Хорошо, давайте сделаем это!

- Вы, ребята, может, мы должны просто.. подождать ещё несколько минут?

00:18:52,662 --> 00:19:00,956

Так, Кенни. Ты знаешь, что должно произойти! Носковая ванна!

Каждый вымоет Кенни мылом и высушит его носками!

00:19:00,976 --> 00:19:08,342

- Нет! Не носками!

- Подождите.. Прекратите, прекратите!

00:19:08,362 --> 00:19:13,195

- Я не могу позволить, чтобы Кенни сушили носками.

- У него были вши, и он лгал об этом!

00:19:13,215 --> 00:19:18,742

- У Кенни не было вшей, ясно?! Это был я.

- Что?

00:19:18,762 --> 00:19:24,642

Я был тем. Я был слишком напуган, чтобы сказать что-либо,

но я не могу позволить Кенни быть носками-мытым за это.

00:19:24,662 --> 00:19:29,287

Почему ты говоришь это, Кайл? Ты не можешь быть тем, у кого вши.

Потому они были у меня.

00:19:29,307 --> 00:19:32,042

Ты просто пытаешься заставить меня чувствовать себя плохо,

потому что ты это вычислил, так?!

00:19:32,062 --> 00:19:36,142

- Подождите.. подожди, что?

- О, я понимаю. Это своего рода большая хитрость надо мною!

00:19:36,162 --> 00:19:39,542

Вы знали, что я был тем, со вшами всё время, да?!

- У тебя были вши?

00:19:39,562 --> 00:19:43,042

Конечно! Почему вы думаете я стал посредством этого

продуманного дерьмового эксперимента ложно обвинять Кенни?!

00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:54,042

У вас у всех были вши! У каждого человека в классе!

У мальчиков и девочек! Вши распространяются быстро, вы тупицы!

00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:57,842

- Я думал, что я был тем единственным.

- Я тоже.

00:19:57,862 --> 00:20:11,742

- Но это значит.. это значит, что Кенни лгал! Носковая ванна!

- Да. Носковая ванна!

00:20:11,762 --> 00:20:23,000

Келли. Келли, ты меня слышишь? Я не знаю, слышишь ли ты.

Но.. Я хотел, чтобы ты знала, что я пытался.

00:20:23,000 --> 00:21:24,204

Я пытался спасти нашего ребёнка. Но я подвёл тебя, детка. К-Келли?

- Приветствуем тебя здесь. Ты в безопасности теперь.

00:21:24,224 --> 00:21:29,842

Мы прожили здесь из поколения в поколение,

никогда не были потревожены.

00:21:29,862 --> 00:21:37,942

Мы сделали это, Надежда. Мы сделали это, Келли!

00:21:37,962 --> 00:21:54,713

- Дамы и господа, мисс Анджелина Джоли!

- Привет всем! Здравствуйте!

00:22:14,049 --> 00:22:14,059

.

00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,304

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,056

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,059

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,103

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,563

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,398

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,274

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,443

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946

♪ ( mumbling ) ♪

00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,281

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,615

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:35,786

( school bell ringing )

00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:41,000

All right, students,

let's take our seats.

00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,044

Apparently, we have

a little problem

00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:45,629

here at the school

which we need to talk about.

00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,089

Ah, yes.

00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,549

You mean the Jew problem.

00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,092

Good, good.

00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,010

I'm glad we're finally

gonna do something about it.

00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:54,597

No, I mean

the problem of head lice.

00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,433

There's been a lice breakout

at a school in Denver

00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,643

and we need to make sure

nobody spreads it here.

00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,645

Somebody might

have lice?!

00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,314

Ew! Ew!

Ew! Ew!

00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:05,274

So today you're all going to

the gymnasium

00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,610

to have your scalps examined.

00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:08,652

That is completely

unnecessary.

00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:12,114

Everyone knows that only

poor people can get lice.

00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,325

The only person that can

spread it here is Kenny.

00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,243

( mumbling ) What?

Fuck you!

00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,578

I'm sure this

class is clean,

00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,163

but we're gonna be examined

00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,748

so that if anyone

has the lice,

00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,459

we can stop it

before it spreads.

00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,252

Lice can live in

anybody's hair...

00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,976

Hello, Kelly.

00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,104

How's my baby?

00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:45,064

You mean me

or the little one?

00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,690

I mean both.

00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:48,442

Well, besides

a little loneliness

00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,111

waiting for Daddy

to come home,

00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,612

I guess we're both okay.

00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,280

How did a louse like me

00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:56,033

get so lucky to have

a louse like you?

00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,576

Luck had nothing

to do with it, Travis.

00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,163

( all yelling )

00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,581

Cut, cut!

Watch your back!

00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,543

You okay?

00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,586

Sometimes...

00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,213

I just worry what

kind of world

00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,756

our baby is

gonna grow up in.

00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,092

I need to run out

to the forest

00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,093

and do another

sediment analysis.

00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,220

I'm worried we might be

overworking

00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,555

the tertiary layer.

00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,688

All students make sure you're

in line according to your grade.

00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,440

When you reach the front

of the line,

00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:29,650

you will go behind the curtain

00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,652

and remove any hats

to be checked.

00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,406

Boy, I sure hope

00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:36,740

they don't find

lice in my hair.

00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:37,616

What do you think happens

if you do have it?

00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,702

They drag you

out of here,

00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,662

put you in this big

containment facility,

00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,080

where they stick a cold

metal pipe up your ass

00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,498

with this clear jelly,

00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,250

and then they shock your balls.

- ( gasps )

00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,543

I'm clean!

00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,461

I knew I didn't have

any stupid lice.

00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,463

This is ridiculous.

00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:52,339

All this just so they

can send Kenny

00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,216

and his stupid

head lice home.

00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,467

( mumbling )

Dude, Fuck off!

00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,388

Have a seat

on the stool.

00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:29,710

Uh-oh, looks like

you've got 'em.

00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,086

What?

00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,504

You have lice.

00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,381

Let's see--

Clyde Harris, is it?

00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:34,882

Oh, my God!

00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,301

Oh, Christ, no!

00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,637

Now, now, it's all right.

00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,430

We're going to

call your parents

00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,224

and get you to

your doctor.

00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,516

Please, you don't

understand.

00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,685

The other kids are gonna

make fun of me forever!

00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,686

I'm sure your friends

aren't that cruel.

00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,855

Yes, they are!

00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:53,442

Mr. President!

00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,903

Mr. President, I believe we

have a serious problem!

00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:58,697

The environment is changing.

00:03:58,822 --> 00:03:59,698

I believe it is

somehow reacting

00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,326

to our presence on it.

00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,078

And what do you

base this on?

00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,747

Look, this is

the world, right?

00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:10,459

But now think of the world

as a living being.

00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,420

If it were somehow conscious,

00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,382

then it would ultimately become

aware of our affect on it.

00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:18,467

Right, the world

is conscious.

00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,802

It makes perfect sense.

00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:21,720

Hello?

00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,597

Anybody?

00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,266

( lice chuckling )

00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,476

If we have made too much

of an impact,

00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,562

then that consciousness

would try to snuff us out.

00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,856

I think we're looking at

a global catastrophe

00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,234

the likes of

which we've never seen.

00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,278

Poo diggery

and poppycock.

00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:38,612

I think we need to put

all resources

00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,281

now into a full investigation,

00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,449

perhaps even begin

a lice-wide evacuation.

00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,826

Evacuation?

00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,869

Tomorrow is

the Gootak Festival!

00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:47,788

Do you know how much money

we would lose?

00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:48,914

Escort Mr. Mayfield out.

00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,917

The president can't be

bothered any further.

00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,461

Damn you,

Vice President Greg!

00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,255

You could be killing us all!

00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:01,802

This is so embarrassing.

00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,178

I have an

ear infection.

00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,931

What are you seeing

the doctor for?

00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,433

I have...

00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:08,809

I have Aids.

00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:12,354

Clyde Harris?

00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:15,899

Yeah, that's a pretty bad

lice problem there.

00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,693

Good thing they

pulled you out of school.

00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,944

But why me, doctor?

00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,362

Why me?

00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,655

How did I get this?!

00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,198

Well, believe it or not,

00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,492

some lice can actually attach

themselves to flies

00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,745

and then wait for the fly

to land on someone's head

00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,496

where they can reproduce.

00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,873

And then the lice that

live in your head now

00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,416

were probably

all born there.

00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:33,542

Sick!

00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,461

This shampoo

should take care of it.

00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:36,712

Use this in the shower.

00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,921

Your scalp may burn

a bit afterwards

00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:42,426

but it should kill...

Every last one of them.

00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:48,849

( sighs )

00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:52,394

Travis, everything okay?

00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,897

Kelly, I was just

thinking about our baby.

00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,733

I want to name

her... Hope.

00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,693

Hope?

00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,696

Hope for a...

Chance at tomorrow.

00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,703

It's raining now?

00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,596

Woo-hoo--

I love the rain!

00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,431

( laughing )

00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,766

Oh, my God.

00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:33,435

We have to

get out of here!

00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,729

What?

It's just rain.

00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,732

We have to get out

of here now, Kelly!

00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,866

What is that?

00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,580

( sizzling )

00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,459

Agh... Agh!

00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,629

( screaming )

00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:01,964

Ah! Ah

! Ah!

00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,342

( groaning )

00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,428

Run! Run

! Run!

00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,765

( screaming )

00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,354

Ah, ah, agh!

00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:24,361

Everyone get up

into the trees!

00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,904

We have to get up high!

00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,866

Come on, Kelly!

00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,454

( screaming )

00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:42,838

Ahh!

00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,340

My God, Travis,

they're all dying!

00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,634

Don't look, Kelly,

don't look.

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,928

What the hell

is it?!

00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,013

It's okay--

we're safe up here.

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,727

I don't think so.

00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,230

( screaming )

00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,941

Ahh!

00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,943

( hair dryer whirring )

00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:08,864

Ahh!

00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,742

Ahh... Ahh!

00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:16,914

Travis!

Kelly, hang on!

00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,082

I can't hang on!

00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,792

You have to!

00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,003

For the baby!

00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:28,050

Ahh!

00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,385

Kelly!

00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,387

No!

00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,390

No!

00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,059

( hair dryer whirring )

00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,152

( school bell ringing )

00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:50,989

Okay, kids, today we're

going to review

00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,699

some civil war history.

00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,160

Who can tell me what year

the war started?

00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,036

Wait, wait--

whoa, whoa.

00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:56,912

So what happened?

00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:57,704

With what?

00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,956

With the lice exam.

00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,624

Did they find

anybody with lice?

00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,461

Yes, some lice

was discovered

00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,755

and the proper

action has been taken.

00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,507

Somebody in

this class?

00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:09,925

Uh, yes.

00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,927

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,595

Well, who was it?

It was Kenny, right?

00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,639

That doesn't matter--

it's over.

00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:16,807

Doesn't matter?!

00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,600

If somebody had parasites

in their hair,

00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,018

we need to know who!

00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,562

It was Kenny,

wasn't it?

00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:23,939

I wanna know

who it was too.

00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,023

It's being kept

confidential.

00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,526

There's a policy

in the schools not to

00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,486

single out a kid who has lice

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,363

because of the embarrassment

it can cause, okay?

00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,116

That is bullcrap!

00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,867

You are denying our rights

as children

00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:37,369

to totally rip on that kid

00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,745

and make him or her

feel like an outcast.

00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,080

Yeah! Yeah

! Yeah!

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,915

And we have a right to know

which boy had lice in his hair

00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,584

so we don't ever

go out with them.

00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,002

How do we know it

was a boy?

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,962

It could just have easily

been one of you stupid girls.

00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,797

Yeah, dumb girls!

00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,966

The case is closed.

00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,468

Whoever had the lice,

they're dead now.

00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,887

We're moving on

to civil war history.

00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,264

Ulysses S. Grant...

00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,313

( coughing )

00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,109

Hope...

Hope, you're alive.

00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,945

( groaning )

00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,703

My God.

00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,079

Yargh!

00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,207

Help me!

00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,002

Help me!

00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,296

Travis... Over here!

00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:34,051

Travis, if you hadn't warned

us to get up in them trees,

00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,594

we'd all be dead.

00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,512

How many survivors?

00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,181

Just the six of us.

00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,307

And the vice president.

00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,645

You son of a bitch!

00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,772

You had a chance

to stop this!

00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,106

So help me,

if we live through this,

00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,025

I'm gonna see you

rot in prison.

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:50,859

What do we do now?

00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,111

We aren't

out of this yet.

00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,780

You two, look for

other survivors.

00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,658

You get whatever food you

can and bring it back here.

00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,077

Who put you in charge?

00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:03,622

God did...

When he killed my wife.

00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,795

All right, the person

who had head lice

00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:10,921

needs to speak up right now

00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,756

so that we know

to stay away from you.

00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,134

Yeah, come on!

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,679

We're gonna find out

sooner or later!

00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,013

Okay, whoever you are,

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,724

you are now not only

a lice head, you're a liar!

00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,351

You're only making this

worse on yourself!

00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,228

You know what?

I'll bet it was you.

00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,688

Me?

00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:28,814

This is exactly what

you would do

00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,065

if they found

lice in your hair:

00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,608

try to lead the charge

against somebody else

00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,276

to take the suspicion

off of yourself.

00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,903

I don't think so,

Kyle.

00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,113

But you know what?

00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,197

This is exactly

what you would do

00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,740

if you had had

head lice:

00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,033

try to get

everyone to blame me.

00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,952

You guys, stop it,

this isn't getting us anywhere.

00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,161

That's exactly what

you would do

00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,830

if you had had

head lice, Stan.

00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:45,747

Yeah, try to have everyone

make peace

00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,749

so it doesn't

seem like a big deal.

00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,000

And this is exactly

what Kenny would do:

00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,752

stand here and say

nothing.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,379

Hey, guys,

what would I do?

00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,755

Let's just get a

magnifying glass

00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,215

and look at

everyone's heads.

00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,341

It's too late.

00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,676

The treatment would

have killed it all.

00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,969

I guess we're

never gonna know.

00:11:59,094 --> 00:11:59,928

There's no way to tell.

00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,596

There's a way.

00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,348

There's a way to find out

who had sick-ass head cooties,

00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,141

and I'm gonna find it.

00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,312

It was him.

00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,356

It had to

have been him.

00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,608

Yeah.

00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:14,901

Or you.

00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,114

Mark?

00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,949

Mark, you have to

hang on.

00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:21,825

This isn't going to stop.

00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,077

The world is

rejecting us.

00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,121

If we're gonna live, we have

to get off this planet.

00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,622

How?

00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:28,707

First we've have to

get out of the forest,

00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,250

into the forbidden zone.

00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,377

It's the only way we might

even see another planet.

00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,713

The forbidden zone?

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,965

We'll be exposed--

we'll die out there.

00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,425

We'll die here!

00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,218

Look, the world is

getting rid of us.

00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,261

Don't you get it?!

00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,054

"getting rid of us"?

00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,015

You mean like it knows

what it's doing?

00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,391

Yes!

00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,269

Because maybe we rolled

the dice too many times!

00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,772

I'm not leaving

my husband.

00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,982

Yeah, I'll take

my chances here.

00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,317

You can all stay here.

00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,278

I'm gonna try to

save my baby.

00:12:59,029 --> 00:12:59,863

I'll go with you.

00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,948

There's nothing

left for me here.

00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,325

I wanna go too.

00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,951

Not a chance.

00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,828

Look, I know

I messed up, all right?

00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,413

But I think you're right.

00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:09,998

If we can get out

of the forest,

00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,833

we might find

another place to live.

00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,043

If we find anything,

00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,128

we'll try to send help

for the rest of you.

00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,838

Let's go.

00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,300

Come on if you're coming,

Mr. Vice President.

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,011

Yeah, right behind you.

00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,309

All right,

lock that door, Craig.

00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,812

What's this about,

Cartman?

00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:32,938

I've come up with a test

that can determine

00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,232

if it was any of us

who had the head lice.

00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,150

We're gonna find out,

once and for all,

00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,401

who had head cooties.

00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,282

Lice feed on a person's blood,

00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,076

and just like mosquitoes,

they leave behind small traces

00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,786

of their saliva in the host's

bloodstream.

00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:50,330

That saliva is molocromagnic.

00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,915

So if an infected person's

blood is touched by

00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,792

this hot metal coil, say,

00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,294

that person's blood will

jump ten meters into the air.

00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,172

R-r-r-really?

00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,757

That's retarded!

00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,050

You didn't come up with

that experiment Cartman!

00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,510

You saw it in that movie

The Thing!

00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,389

This is a scientific test

designed to--

00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,974

You saw it in The Thing

00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,183

and you're wasting

everyone's time!

00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,726

I thought you

might say that, Kyle.

00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,728

Because you don't want to

take the test, do you?

00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,313

Nobody's blood is going to

jump up in the air!

00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,398

If it isn't going to work,

then what are you afraid of?

00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,859

The only person who wouldn't

want to take the test

00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,318

is somebody who was

worried it might work

00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,987

and reveal that they were

the ones with lice!

00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,989

Yeah, that's true.

00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,824

I have no problem

taking the test.

00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,325

I have nothing

to h-h-h-hide.

00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,743

Yeah, me neither.

00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329

All right, fine,

I'll do the dumb test!

00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,248

Everyone take a petri dish

and a syringe.

00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,418

We need at least 30 C.C.S

of blood from each one of you.

00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,298

All right, now everyone

back over there.

00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:42,757

We'll start with

what I already know.

00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,970

( sizzling )

00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,306

Oh, guess that proves Eric

00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,056

wasn't the one

with head lice.

00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,182

It doesn't prove

anything!

00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,475

Yeah?

00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,227

Let's just see what

your blood does, Kyle.

00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,149

( sizzling )

00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,567

Huh, I guess

you're clean.

00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,946

You guys,

we better go.

00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:05,906

Recess is almost over.

00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:06,740

It's all right,

won't take much longer to--

00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,199

Agh, agh!

00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:08,366

What the hell?!

00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:12,412

Kenny!

00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,956

No way.

00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,291

You were right

all along, Eric.

00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,459

It was Kenny!

00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,919

Of course I was right.

00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,545

I told you only

poor people get lice!

00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,515

We've done it!

00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,226

We've reached

the forbidden zone!

00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,604

I've always heard stories

about this place.

00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,897

Never thought

it was real.

00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,981

It's real.

00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:43,401

Real as my love

for my unborn baby.

00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,028

So what exactly is

your plan, Travis?

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:48,490

Our ancestors came here

from another world.

00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,575

Maybe there's still

other worlds out there

00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,452

with life forms like us.

00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,454

Maybe there's even

a world where they've learned

00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,915

to live with the planet

instead of just on it.

00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,500

Travis...

00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,836

Travis, you're so wise,

so strong.

00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:02,879

If we make it out of this,

00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:06,257

I'd like to

be with you.

00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,550

Sorry, babe.

00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,679

But my heart is forever

stenciled in permanent ink

00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,014

with the name "Kelly."

00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,975

She was a lucky woman

to have you.

00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,018

Luck had nothing

to do with it.

00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,770

( gunshot fired )

00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,899

Sorry to cut

the honeymoon short.

00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,610

Why you murdering bastard!

00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:28,571

Your little fantasy of

another world ends here.

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,739

Walk.

00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,282

What the hell do you want,

vice president--

00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:32,450

Walk!

00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:35,620

( doorbell ringing )

00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,415

Clyde, dude,

get down to the park.

00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,749

We caught Kenny

00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,334

and we're all gonna

let him have it.

00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:42,544

What?

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,004

What are you

gonna do to him?

00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:44,921

He lied to us all.

00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,423

He betrayed his kind.

00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:47,841

We all know

what has to happen.

00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,593

Grab a sock and a bar of soap

and meet us at the park.

00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,390

You guys, wait.

00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:55,932

What, Clyde?

00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:00,061

I... Nothing.

00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,104

All right,

see you there!

00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,605

Remember, a bar of soap

and a sock!

00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:03,606

Kenny's gonna get it!

00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:04,816

Yeah!

Yeah!

00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,943

Yeah, we're gonna

f-f-fuck him up.

00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,698

( phone ringing )

00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:12,949

Yello.

00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,743

M. Garrison,

one of your students is about

00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,494

to be attacked at the park

by all the other students.

00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,912

What?

00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,873

Who's going to get attacked?

Who is this?

00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:20,540

Please just

hurry to the park!

00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,042

You have to stop them!

00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,838

That's good,

that's far enough.

00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,840

What are you

going to do?

00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,091

I'm gonna go back

to the village.

00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,634

Start to rebuild.

00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,511

Mate with the females.

00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,597

Become... President.

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,848

Don't you get it?

00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:37,974

The world doesn't

want you here.

00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,893

It's not gonna

stop until you're dead!

00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,061

It was a disaster.

00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,896

Disasters happen.

00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,773

Then go ahead

and die there.

00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,816

I'm leaving with

my baby.

00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,861

Actually, you're never

leaving here either, Travis.

00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,112

Agh!

00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:53,865

Damn you!

00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,784

Why?!

00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:58,495

Because when I'm president,

I can't have pests like you

00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:02,207

constantly trying to preach

that the world is alive.

00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,875

You're an idealistic fool.

00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,835

The world is not

conscious.

00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,670

We are conscious!

00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:12,884

If the world was alive

it would feel this.

00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,386

Ow.

00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,931

You die here--

00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:20,850

Ahh!

00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,519

Ahh!

00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,899

Aahhhh!

00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:29,984

Argh.

00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,948

( wheezing )

00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,950

( sobbing )

00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,495

Kenny McCormick,

you are charged with

00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,122

bringing head cooties

into our school

00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,707

and lying about

it to cover your ass.

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,416

How do you plead?

00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,459

( mumbling )

not guilty!

00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:47,919

Guilty-- I thought so!

00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,712

All right,

let's do this!

00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,674

You guys, maybe we should just

wait a few more minutes.

00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,759

All right, Kenny,

you know what has to happen.

00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,511

Sock bath!

00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,263

Everyone wash Kenny

with the soap

00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,848

and dry him off

with the socks!

00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,559

( Kenny )

No, no, no, not the socks!

00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,061

Wait, wait!

00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,398

Wait, stop it,

stop it!

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,900

I can't let

Kenny be sock-dried.

00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,278

He had cooties

and he lied about it!

00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,530

Kenny, didn't have

the head lice, all right?!

00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,948

It was me.

00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,449

What?

00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:19,951

I was the one.

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,911

I was too afraid

to say anything.

00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,497

But I can't let Kenny

be sock-bathed for it.

00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,207

Why are you

saying that, Kyle?

00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,834

You can't be the one

who had head lice.

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,085

Because I was.

00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,753

You're just trying to

make me feel bad

00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,213

because you figured

that out, didn't you?

00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,173

Wait a minute-- what?

00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,632

Oh, I get it.

00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,092

This is some kind of

big trick on me.

00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,469

You've known I was the one

with head lice all along, huh?

00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,470

You had head lice?!

00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:40,221

Of course!

00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,139

Why do you think

I went through that

00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,974

elaborate bullcrap experiment

to frame Kenny?

00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,310

( Ms. Garrison )

You all had head lice.

00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,103

Every single person

in the class.

00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,606

The boys and the girls.

00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:53,943

Lice spreads fast,

you dumb-asses.

00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,862

I thought I was

the only one.

00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,697

Me too.

00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:01,951

But that means...

That means Kenny was lying!

00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,620

Sock bath!

00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,830

Sock bath!

00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,999

( sad music )

00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:15,590

( Travis ) Kelly...

Kelly can you hear me?

00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,760

I don't know if you can.

00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,764

But... I want you

to know I tried.

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,225

I tried to

save our baby.

00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,101

But I let you down, babe.

00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,319

K... Kelly?

00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,160

( groaning )

00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:54,701

( sad music continues )

00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:22,824

You are welcome here.

00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,284

You're safe now.

00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,161

We've lived here for

generation after generation,

00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,955

never being disturbed.

00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,666

Ha-- we made it, Hope.

00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,001

We made it, Kelly!

00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:41,175

Ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Angelina Jolie!

00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,803

Hello, everyone!

00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:44,679

Hello!