Вперёд, Бог, вперёд
Описание
Картман замораживает себя, чтобы побыстрее дождаться выхода видеоприставки Nintendo Wii, но размораживают его только через 540 лет. Миссис Гаррисон борется с теорией эволюции.
Субтитры
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,404
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,992
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,497
Come on.
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,458
Come on!
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:43,169
Oh, for the love of God.
How much longer?!
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:45,504
There you are, Eric.
What are you doing here?
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:48,215
I'm waiting for the new
Nintendo Wii to come out!
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,842
When does it come out?
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,010
Three weeks.
00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,470
Come on.
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:53,596
Come on!
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,889
It's time for school.
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,849
No, Mom!
You don't understand!
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,893
I've been waiting for this thing
to come out for months.
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:02,354
And now...
every day, time is slowing down.
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:07,568
It's like waiting for
Christmas...times a thousand.
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:10,488
Eric, you're just going to
have to be patient.
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,405
No!
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,032
No!
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,619
Principal Victoria, it is wrong!
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,080
It is wrong,
and I simply will not do it!
00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,873
I care about my students.
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,542
And I will not fill their heads
with lies!
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,921
I am not teaching evolution
in my class!
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:30,382
Mrs. Garrison, evolution
is in the school curriculum.
00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:31,759
We have to teach it.
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,677
Evolution is a theory --
00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:36,555
a harebrained theory
that says I'm a monkey.
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,433
I'm not a monkey!
I'm a woman!
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,894
M-M'kay.
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:46,357
Y-You realize evolution has been
pretty much, uh, proven.
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:48,609
I warn you, Principal Victoria,
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,695
those students are not prepared
to hear this stuff.
00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:54,198
Our students want to learn,
Mrs. Garrison,
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:57,451
and they're mature enough
to handle anything.
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,331
How long until Nintendo Wii
comes out now?
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,582
It's still three weeks.
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,167
Oh, God!
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,919
Okay.
How long now?
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,671
Will you shut up already?
00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:11,132
All right, kids.
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:14,802
It is now my job to teach you
the theory of evolution.
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,053
Oh, boy!
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,346
Now, I for one think
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,683
that evolution is a bunch
of bullcrap.
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,519
But I've been told
I have to teach it anyway.
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,229
It was thought up
by Charles Darwin,
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,981
and it goes something
like this --
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:30,109
In the beginning,
we were all fish, okay,
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,819
swimming around in the water.
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:35,156
And then one day, a couple
of fish had a retard baby.
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:38,492
And the retard baby was
different, so it got to live.
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:42,037
So retard fish goes on
to make more retard babies,
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,540
and then one day
a retard baby fish
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:48,711
crawled out of the ocean
with its mutant fish hands,
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,297
and it had butt sex
with a squirrel or something
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:54,758
and made
this retard frog-squirrel.
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:59,096
And then that had a retard baby
which was a monkey-fish-frog.
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,975
And then this monkey-fish-frog
had butt sex with that monkey,
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,269
and that monkey
had a mutant retard baby
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:09,106
that screwed another monkey,
and that made you.
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,650
So there you go.
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,028
You're the retarded offspring
of five monkeys
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,613
having butt sex
with a fish-squirrel.
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,740
Congratulations.
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,868
Aah!
I can't take it anymore!
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,079
Yep. You see?
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,498
I knew that would happen.
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,253
Come on.
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,380
Come on!
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:34,465
Look, kid.
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,759
For the 40th time,
pacing in front of the store
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,220
isn't gonna make the Wii
come any faster.
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,514
Eric, you're coming home
right now!
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,017
Can't I just stay and look
at the sign a little longer?
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,435
It's almost bedtime.
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,771
If you sleep,
then time will go by faster.
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,200
Oh, God.
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,570
Aah!
That does it!
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,614
I am not waiting three weeks!
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,285
You guys! You guys!
You guys, you got to help me!
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,661
Dude, you don't look so good,
Cartman.
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,454
I can't take it anymore,
you guys.
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,915
The wait for Nintendo Wii
is literally killing me.
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,543
There's nothing you can do,
so you just have to be patient.
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,296
No.
There is something I can do.
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,381
- Mrph?
- All right. Listen.
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,590
You know how in space movies
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,217
they put astronauts
in suspender animation
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,094
so their trip seems
really short, right?
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,846
I think I've figured out
how to do it.
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,681
- Do what?
- Freeze myself.
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,766
If I freeze myself,
then in three weeks
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,894
when Nintendo Wii comes out,
you guys can unfreeze me.
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,314
The wait will seem instantaneous
to me.
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:14,773
No.
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,108
It's simple science, Kyle.
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,401
You'll die, retard!
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,111
I'll die waiting for the Wii
to come out!
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,696
Don't you see?!
This is my only chance!
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,655
Dude, no way.
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,574
Yeah, I hate you, but I'm not
going to help kill you.
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,659
I thought you were my friends!
But I guess I was wrong!
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,202
After everything
we've been through together,
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,955
you guys won't even help me
freeze myself!
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:36,045
Principal Victoria,
we are a devout Catholic family.
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,921
Do you mind telling me
why my daughter
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,632
now thinks she's
a retarded fish-frog?!
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,968
I told you this would happen,
didn't I?
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,845
Mr. Triscotti, I wasn't aware --
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,182
We have worked years to instill
the teachings of Jesus Christ
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,183
into our daughter,
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:52,478
and with one fell swoop, you try
to destroy everything we did!
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,562
I hear you.
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,688
Sir, if you don't wish
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,523
your daughter to learn
about evolution,
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,150
then we can pull her out
of class.
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,568
You most certainly will!
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,612
But, Dad,
I want to learn everything.
00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,781
No, you don't!
Shut up!
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,532
Well, I told you.
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,494
We should leave evolution
out of the classrooms.
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:09,745
It has become obvious to me
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,122
that you don't know enough
about evolution to teach it.
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,582
I'm having you replaced.
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,875
Mr. Dawkins!
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,460
Re-Replaced?
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:20,047
Richard Dawkins is a world-
renowned evolutionary scientist.
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:23,092
Charmed to meet you, Ms. --
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,385
Shut up, faggot.
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,678
Principal Victoria,
I can teach my own class!
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,181
You are to sit in class
and help Mr. Dawkins
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,016
with whatever he needs.
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,022
Over billions of years,
life has evolved
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,441
from simple,
one-celled organisms
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:43,195
into all the complex life
we see around us.
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,947
Whatever.
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,157
It was changes
in hereditary traits
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:50,244
that allowed the first mammals
to breathe in the air.
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,204
Retarded fish-frogs.
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,499
Ms. Garrison, I believe that's
a gross oversimplification.
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,376
Well, you're a faggot.
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:58,836
Continue.
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,045
You see, children,
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,424
life has the amazing ability
to change, to adapt,
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:06,468
like changing us to the point
that we walk upright.
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,138
So you are saying that
we're all related to monkeys.
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,473
Well, yes, basically we are.
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,225
You've seen monkeys at the zoo!
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,644
They crap in their hands
and throw it at people!
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,688
Ms. Garrison, this isn't theory.
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,773
It is scientific fact.
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,817
What about the fact
that by believing this crap,
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,235
you're gonna go to hell?!
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,987
Doesn't that bother you
a little?!
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,990
Actually, no,
because I'm an atheist.
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:29,533
Aha!
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,660
I got you,
you snake in the grass!
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,953
I found you out!
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,913
I never covered it up.
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,625
And if I'm a monkey, I might
as well act like a monkey, huh?!
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,918
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whaa-whaa!
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,336
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whaa-whaa!
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,213
What on earth are you doing?!
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,467
- Don't ask me!
- I'm a monkey!
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:47,759
Agh!
00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,387
Principal Victoria,
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,140
I was simply trying to make
a point to Mr. Dawkins
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,726
about the incongruity
of some scientific statements.
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,604
Mrs. Garrison, I am pulling you
out of the classroom.
00:07:58,729 --> 00:07:59,646
What?
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,774
Principal Victoria, I really
don't think that's necessary.
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,360
This woman is very opinionated,
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,780
but she does care
about her students.
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,867
Very well.
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:16,330
But there is to be no more
throwing of feces, understood?
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,124
Ms. Garrison.
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,210
Ms. Garrison, could I have
a word with you, please?
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,169
What?
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,880
Look, I know you think
we are at war,
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,509
but I want you to know
I admire your passion.
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,844
You -- You do?
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:35,140
I've never met a woman
with so much...fire.
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:39,561
Well, I-I do bring down
the woman's wrath now and again.
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,730
So much boldness in a woman.
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,732
So beautiful.
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,984
I'm sorry. I'm sure you have
a husband, but I --
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,613
No! No, m-my husband is gone --
dead!
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,991
Would you, then, consider
having dinner with me tonight?
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,451
Well...
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,496
Well, I suppose we could have
a little steak or something.
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,292
I've got a date!
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,877
I've got a date!
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,213
My first real date
with a real man
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,507
since my sex-change operation!
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,592
Oh, boy!
What will I wear?
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,636
Hey, everybody!
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,271
Hey!
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,897
Close the door!
I'm trying to freeze!
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,691
Eric, get out of there!
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,484
No! No!
It's too soon!
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,319
Now, Eric,
this has gone far enough.
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,364
You need to learn to be patient.
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,577
Butters, get your coat.
We got to go.
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,953
Go where?
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,455
You're gonna help me
freeze myself.
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,584
Okay!
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,763
Well, how come we got to come
all the way out here?
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,640
If anybody else comes across
my frozen body,
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,183
they'll try to unfreeze me
right away.
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,768
I have to be hidden.
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:04,646
That's good.
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,234
No matter what happens, Butters,
you are not to unfreeze me
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,694
until the day
Nintendo Wii comes out.
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,528
You got it?
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,822
Eric, are you sure
this is a good idea?
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,491
No, it's not a good idea.
It's an awesome idea.
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,244
Yeah, I guess it is.
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,662
You got the spot figured out?
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,247
You're not gonna lose
where I am, right?
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,833
I got it -- big tree, oval rock.
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:25,834
Now get out of here.
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,503
You can't freeze, too,
or else we're both screwed.
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,759
Get out of here, you asshole!
You're gonna ruin everything!
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,761
Oh, geez.
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,849
Yes.
Come on.
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,100
Freeze.
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,102
Freeze.
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,689
So I told my gynecologist,
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,941
"You put so many things
in my vagina,
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,818
maybe I should charge you!"
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,739
Oh, Ms. Garrison,
you are the most outspoken woman
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,282
I have ever met.
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,785
It's almost like
you're one of the guys.
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,745
Yeah, almost.
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,665
You have so much spunk,
so much life!
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,709
If only you were an atheist.
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:13,548
W-- Well, you know, I'm --
I'm open to stuff.
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,217
Why has someone
as outspoken as you
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,511
given themselves over
to the whole God thing?
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,179
Oh, I'm not --
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,473
I'm not totally into
the whole God thing.
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:25,560
I just -- I just think, you
know, you can't disprove God.
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,647
Well, what if I told you there
was a flying spaghetti monster?
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,608
Would you believe it simply
because it can't be disproven?
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,569
You're right!
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,196
It's so simple!
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,156
God is a spaghetti monster!
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,951
Oh, thank you!
Geez! My eyes are open!
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,787
Hey, everyone, I'm an atheist!
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,665
Really?
Oh, that's wonderful!
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,792
No!
I totally get it now!
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,545
Evolution explains everything!
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,964
There's no great mystery
to life, just evolution!
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,716
And God's a spaghetti monster!
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,467
Thank you, Richard!
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,428
You're so welcome!
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,138
Would you like to...
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,890
head over to my place
for dessert?
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,686
Oh, yeah!
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,604
Yeah, I'm a monkey!
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,565
Give this monkey what she wants!
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,275
- Oh, Ms. Garrison!
- Yeah!
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,402
Pound my monkey hole, Richard!
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,070
Yeah!
I'm a monkey, all right!
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:28,039
N-Nintendo.
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,958
I'm coming.
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,378
I'm coming...Nintendo.
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,223
We have a pulse.
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,771
Can you...understand me?
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,273
Where am I?
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:19,276
My name is Shpeck.
You are safe.
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,444
Safe where, butthole?
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,656
My friend, this is going to be
a bit of a shock,
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:28,451
but it is the year 2546.
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:30,996
What?
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:34,583
You have been frozen in ice
for over 500 years.
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:41,756
Butters.
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,217
Butters, you black asshole!
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,969
Please, be careful.
You are frail.
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,054
Is the Wii out?
Where is the Wii?
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,558
Ah.
Nintendo Wii --
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:54,311
a primitive gaming device
used in his time.
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:55,145
Primitive?
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,314
It has motion-control
controllers, asswipe.
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,441
Young man,
you don't seem to understand.
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,153
Your family, your friends,
everyone you knew
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:07,282
has been dead
for over 500 years.
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,743
I don't care!
Is there a Nintendo Wii?!
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,454
We don't play video games
in our time.
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,790
There's no such thing
as a Nintendo Wii.
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,834
No.
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,629
No!
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,800
You must understand, children,
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,261
that we are dealing with
very large numbers here.
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,804
That's my man.
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:33,224
So evolution doesn't even happen
by chance.
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,477
It is, in fact, bound to happen.
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:36,853
That's right, kids.
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:40,148
And so, you see,
there is no God.
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,149
Careful, darling.
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,817
The school board doesn't like it
when we --
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,569
Well, there could still
be a god.
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:45,695
What?
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,280
Couldn't evolution be the answer
to "how?"
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:48,698
And not the answer to "why?"
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,493
Uh-oh! Retard alert!
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,286
Retard alert, class!
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,789
Do you believe in a flying
spaghetti monster, too,
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:56,831
bubble head?
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,208
I wasn't talking about
spaghetti.
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,334
Come on, you.
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,378
You're gonna have to sit
in the dunce chair!
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,139
Ms. Garrison...
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:16,476
I'm not so sure what you did
in class today was right.
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:17,894
What?
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:21,147
But, Dick, you told me that the
world would be a better place
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,440
without religion.
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,902
Yes, but to be so bold about it.
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:30,615
I've just never seen a woman
with such...balls.
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,245
You've just been too soft
on religious people in the past.
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,746
Think about it, Richard.
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,666
With your intellect
and my balls,
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,877
we can change the future
of the world.
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,296
Can you imagine a world
with no religion?
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:46,756
No Muslims killing Jews,
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,426
no Christians bombing
abortion clinics.
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:54,222
The world would be a wonderful
place...without God.
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,808
You're the smartest man
on earth, Dick.
00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:00,603
With me by your side,
there's no stopping you.
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,857
Oh, just let me see
those beautiful breasts again.
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:06,735
Oh...all right.
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,447
Oh, yeah, baby.
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:11,823
Pbbbbht!
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,408
Oh, yeah! Oh!
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,743
Pbbbbbht!
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,621
Quick, General Disarray!
Kill those superheroes!
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:19,956
Pew-pew! Pew-pew!
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:23,460
Yes! Now the world shall feel
the wrath of Professor Chaos!
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,170
Butters?
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,838
Butters, you haven't seen
Eric Cartman
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,882
in the past few days, have you?
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,092
Who, me?
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,511
It's very important, Butters.
He's missing.
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,971
You haven't seen
or heard from him?
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,141
No, ma'am.
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,976
Okay.
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,479
Come on, Professor Chaos!
Let's destroy this ant hill!
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,315
G-General Disarray, can I
ask you a scientific question?
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,524
Okay.
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,735
Well, um,
c-can anything bad happen
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,278
if you completely freeze
yourself
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,864
and then unfreeze yourself
three weeks later?
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,282
Yeah.
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,825
Well, like what?
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,036
Like...you die.
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,245
Die?!
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,414
Well, yeah. If you freeze
your body, it means you die.
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,208
When you wake up three weeks
later, you can be unfrozen,
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,168
but you're still dead.
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,337
Oh, hamburgers!
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:09,923
Eric!
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,132
Eric!
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,177
You just left him here
without a jacket or anything?
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,595
He told me to!
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,971
He's dead for sure.
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:17,972
Wait.
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,808
It's all different!
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,434
Nothing's in the same place!
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:22,644
Oh, my God.
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,020
Eric!
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,355
Eric!
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,856
Butters.
B-Butters! Butters!
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,691
- We have to get out of here.
- What?
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,360
Nobody is ever going to find
his body.
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,862
You've got to never say anything
about this, you understand?
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:33,863
He's dead!
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,865
If they know you had a hand
in it, you'll go to jail!
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,784
But I just did what he told me!
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,035
Come on!
We have to leave!
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,703
Oh, jumpin' Jesus.
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,837
This is terrible.
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,339
Five hundred years
in the future.
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512
Eric, I have good news for you.
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,014
We may have found you
a Nintendo Wii.
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,724
What?!
Really?!
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,518
Yes! Yes!
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,937
It's rumored that there's one
at the Museum of Technology
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,021
in New New Hampshire.
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,065
So I'm not too late.
Come on! Let's go!
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,025
Well, there's just...
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,320
T-There's something
we need from you first.
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:19,284
You see, my young friend,
you were unfrozen for a reason.
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,744
Lots of people froze themselves
in cryogenic labs,
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,246
and we don't unfreeze them.
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,748
But you...are special.
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,209
I know I'm special.
This isn't news to me.
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,962
You lived in the time
when a great event happened,
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:34,674
a glorious event that finally
made all religion obsolete.
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:39,304
Now the entire world is atheist.
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,849
And this gets me a Nintendo Wii
how?
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,852
We believe that somebody
you knew in your time
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:49,564
was the person who first started
our wonderful group --
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,317
the Unified Atheist League!
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,568
Who?
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,864
What in science's name was that?
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,830
Oh, no!
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,166
It's the United Atheist
Alliance!
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,501
Oh, science help us!
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:15,006
Science damn you,
Unified Atheist League!
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,007
Who are they?
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,177
The alliance atheists.
We're at war with them!
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,563
No!
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,898
Jesus Christ!
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,235
You believe
in a supernatural being.
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,821
Oh, my science.
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,787
I'm just a little boy
from the past
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,706
who wants to play Nintendo Wii.
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:55,171
Put me through to the
Allied Atheist Allegiance!
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,673
On-screen!
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,634
Look, Allied Atheist Allegiance!
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,178
We have the time child!
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,848
Science damn you,
United Atheist Alliance!
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:09,060
Now you see, foolish sea otters,
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,854
that we are the atheists
in control!
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,815
It won't make a difference.
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,609
This is the dawning
of the sea otter.
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:19,028
Know this, time child!
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:24,075
I shall smash your skull
like a clam on my tummy!
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:25,994
What?!
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,998
Otters, the time has come!
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,958
Sound the nafurtee!
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,793
The nafurtee!
00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:43,386
So...it begins.
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,723
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,404
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,992
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,497
Come on.
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,458
Come on!
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:43,169
Oh, for the love of God.
How much longer?!
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:45,504
There you are, Eric.
What are you doing here?
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:48,215
I'm waiting for the new
Nintendo Wii to come out!
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,842
When does it come out?
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,010
Three weeks.
00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,470
Come on.
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:53,596
Come on!
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,889
It's time for school.
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,849
No, Mom!
You don't understand!
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,893
I've been waiting for this thing
to come out for months.
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:02,354
And now...
every day, time is slowing down.
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:07,568
It's like waiting for
Christmas...times a thousand.
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:10,488
Eric, you're just going to
have to be patient.
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,405
No!
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,032
No!
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,533
[ Bell rings ]
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,619
Principal Victoria, it is wrong!
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,080
It is wrong,
and I simply will not do it!
00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,873
I care about my students.
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,542
And I will not fill their heads
with lies!
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,921
I am not teaching evolution
in my class!
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:30,382
Mrs. Garrison, evolution
is in the school curriculum.
00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:31,759
We have to teach it.
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,677
Evolution is a theory --
00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:36,555
a harebrained theory
that says I'm a monkey.
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,433
I'm not a monkey!
I'm a woman!
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,894
M-M'kay.
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:46,357
Y-You realize evolution has been
pretty much, uh, proven.
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:48,609
I warn you, Principal Victoria,
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,695
those students are not prepared
to hear this stuff.
00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:54,198
Our students want to learn,
Mrs. Garrison,
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:57,451
and they're mature enough
to handle anything.
00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,162
- [ Indistinct conversations ]
- [ Grunting ]
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,331
How long until Nintendo Wii
comes out now?
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,582
It's still three weeks.
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,167
Oh, God!
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,919
Okay.
How long now?
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,671
Will you shut up already?
00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:11,132
All right, kids.
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:14,802
It is now my job to teach you
the theory of evolution.
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,053
Oh, boy!
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,346
Now, I for one think
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,683
that evolution is a bunch
of bullcrap.
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,519
But I've been told
I have to teach it anyway.
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,229
It was thought up
by Charles Darwin,
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,981
and it goes something
like this --
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:30,109
In the beginning,
we were all fish, okay,
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,819
swimming around in the water.
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:35,156
And then one day, a couple
of fish had a retard baby.
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:38,492
And the retard baby was
different, so it got to live.
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:42,037
So retard fish goes on
to make more retard babies,
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:44,540
and then one day
a retard baby fish
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:48,711
crawled out of the ocean
with its mutant fish hands,
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,297
and it had butt sex
with a squirrel or something
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:54,758
and made
this retard frog-squirrel.
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:59,096
And then that had a retard baby
which was a monkey-fish-frog.
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,975
And then this monkey-fish-frog
had butt sex with that monkey,
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,269
and that monkey
had a mutant retard baby
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:09,106
that screwed another monkey,
and that made you.
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,650
So there you go.
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,028
You're the retarded offspring
of five monkeys
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,613
having butt sex
with a fish-squirrel.
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,740
Congratulations.
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,868
Aah!
I can't take it anymore!
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,411
[ Screams ]
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,079
- [ Door opens, closes ]
- Yep. You see?
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,498
I knew that would happen.
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,253
Come on.
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,380
Come on!
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:34,465
Look, kid.
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,759
For the 40th time,
pacing in front of the store
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,220
isn't gonna make the Wii
come any faster.
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,514
Eric, you're coming home
right now!
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,017
Can't I just stay and look
at the sign a little longer?
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,435
It's almost bedtime.
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,771
If you sleep,
then time will go by faster.
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,190
[ Insects chirping ]
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,198
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,200
Oh, God.
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:06,372
[ Music continues ]
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,554
[ Mouse clicks ]
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,184
[ Indistinct talking
on television ]
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,395
[ Music continues ]
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,570
Aah!
That does it!
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,614
I am not waiting three weeks!
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,074
[ Birds chirping ]
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,285
You guys! You guys!
You guys, you got to help me!
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,661
Dude, you don't look so good,
Cartman.
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,454
I can't take it anymore,
you guys.
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,915
The wait for Nintendo Wii
is literally killing me.
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,543
There's nothing you can do,
so you just have to be patient.
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,296
No.
There is something I can do.
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,381
- Mrph?
- All right. Listen.
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,590
You know how in space movies
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,217
they put astronauts
in suspender animation
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,094
so their trip seems
really short, right?
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,846
I think I've figured out
how to do it.
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,681
- Do what?
- Freeze myself.
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,766
If I freeze myself,
then in three weeks
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,894
when Nintendo Wii comes out,
you guys can unfreeze me.
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,314
The wait will seem instantaneous
to me.
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:14,773
No.
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,108
It's simple science, Kyle.
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,401
You'll die, retard!
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,111
I'll die waiting for the Wii
to come out!
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,696
Don't you see?!
This is my only chance!
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,655
Dude, no way.
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,574
Yeah, I hate you, but I'm not
going to help kill you.
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,659
I thought you were my friends!
But I guess I was wrong!
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,202
After everything
we've been through together,
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,955
you guys won't even help me
freeze myself!
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,999
[ Bell rings ]
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:36,045
Principal Victoria,
we are a devout Catholic family.
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,921
Do you mind telling me
why my daughter
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,632
now thinks she's
a retarded fish-frog?!
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,968
I told you this would happen,
didn't I?
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,845
Mr. Triscotti, I wasn't aware --
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,182
We have worked years to instill
the teachings of Jesus Christ
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,183
into our daughter,
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:52,478
and with one fell swoop, you try
to destroy everything we did!
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:53,562
I hear you.
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,688
Sir, if you don't wish
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,523
your daughter to learn
about evolution,
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,150
then we can pull her out
of class.
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,568
You most certainly will!
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,612
But, Dad,
I want to learn everything.
00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,781
No, you don't!
Shut up!
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,532
Well, I told you.
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,494
We should leave evolution
out of the classrooms.
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:09,745
It has become obvious to me
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,122
that you don't know enough
about evolution to teach it.
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,582
I'm having you replaced.
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,875
Mr. Dawkins!
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,460
Re-Replaced?
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:20,047
Richard Dawkins is a world-
renowned evolutionary scientist.
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:23,092
Charmed to meet you, Ms. --
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,385
Shut up, faggot.
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,678
Principal Victoria,
I can teach my own class!
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,181
You are to sit in class
and help Mr. Dawkins
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,016
with whatever he needs.
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,560
[ Bell rings ]
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,022
Over billions of years,
life has evolved
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,441
from simple,
one-celled organisms
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:43,195
into all the complex life
we see around us.
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,947
Whatever.
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,157
It was changes
in hereditary traits
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:50,244
that allowed the first mammals
to breathe in the air.
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,204
Retarded fish-frogs.
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,499
Ms. Garrison, I believe that's
a gross oversimplification.
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,376
Well, you're a faggot.
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:58,836
Continue.
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,045
You see, children,
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,424
life has the amazing ability
to change, to adapt,
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:06,468
like changing us to the point
that we walk upright.
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,138
So you are saying that
we're all related to monkeys.
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,473
Well, yes, basically we are.
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,225
You've seen monkeys at the zoo!
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,644
They crap in their hands
and throw it at people!
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,688
Ms. Garrison, this isn't theory.
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,773
It is scientific fact.
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,817
What about the fact
that by believing this crap,
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,235
you're gonna go to hell?!
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,987
Doesn't that bother you
a little?!
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,990
Actually, no,
because I'm an atheist.
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:29,533
Aha!
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,660
I got you,
you snake in the grass!
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,953
I found you out!
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,913
DAWKINS:
I never covered it up.
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,625
And if I'm a monkey, I might
as well act like a monkey, huh?!
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,918
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whaa-whaa!
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,336
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whaa-whaa!
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,213
What on earth are you doing?!
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,467
Don't ask me!
I'm a [bleep] monkey!
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:47,759
Agh!
00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,387
Principal Victoria,
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,140
I was simply trying to make
a point to Mr. Dawkins
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,726
about the incongruity
of some scientific statements.
00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,604
Mrs. Garrison, I am pulling you
out of the classroom.
00:07:58,729 --> 00:07:59,646
What?
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,774
Principal Victoria, I really
don't think that's necessary.
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,360
This woman is very opinionated,
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,780
but she does care
about her students.
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,657
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,867
Very well.
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:16,330
But there is to be no more
throwing of feces, understood?
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,124
Ms. Garrison.
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,210
Ms. Garrison, could I have
a word with you, please?
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,169
What?
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,880
Look, I know you think
we are at war,
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,509
but I want you to know
I admire your passion.
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,844
You -- You do?
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:35,140
I've never met a woman
with so much...fire.
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:39,561
Well, I-I do bring down
the woman's wrath now and again.
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,730
So much boldness in a woman.
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,732
So beautiful.
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,984
I'm sorry. I'm sure you have
a husband, but I --
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,613
No! No, m-my husband is gone --
dead!
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,991
Would you, then, consider
having dinner with me tonight?
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,451
Well...
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,496
Well, I suppose we could have
a little steak or something.
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,874
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,292
I've got a date!
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,877
I've got a date!
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,213
My first real date
with a real man
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,507
since my sex-change operation!
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,592
Oh, boy!
What will I wear?
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,636
Hey, everybody!
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,849
[ Humming ]
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,271
- Hey!
- [ Gasps ]
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,897
Close the door!
I'm trying to freeze!
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,691
Eric, get out of there!
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,484
No! No!
It's too soon!
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,319
Now, Eric,
this has gone far enough.
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,364
You need to learn to be patient.
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,074
[ Birds chirping ]
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,577
Butters, get your coat.
We got to go.
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,953
Go where?
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,455
You're gonna help me
freeze myself.
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,584
Okay!
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,628
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,763
Well, how come we got to come
all the way out here?
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,640
If anybody else comes across
my frozen body,
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,183
they'll try to unfreeze me
right away.
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,768
I have to be hidden.
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:04,646
That's good.
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,234
No matter what happens, Butters,
you are not to unfreeze me
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,694
until the day
Nintendo Wii comes out.
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,528
You got it?
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,822
Eric, are you sure
this is a good idea?
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,491
No, it's not a good idea.
It's an awesome idea.
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:19,244
Yeah, I guess it is.
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,662
You got the spot figured out?
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,247
You're not gonna lose
where I am, right?
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,833
I got it -- big tree, oval rock.
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:25,834
Now get out of here.
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,503
You can't freeze, too,
or else we're both screwed.
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,631
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,759
Get out of here, you asshole!
You're gonna ruin everything!
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,761
Oh, geez.
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,849
Yes.
Come on.
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,100
Freeze.
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,102
Freeze.
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,937
[ Insects chirping ]
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,689
So I told my gynecologist,
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,941
"You put so many things
in my vagina,
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,818
maybe I should charge you!"
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,278
[ Both laugh ]
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,739
Oh, Ms. Garrison,
you are the most outspoken woman
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,282
I have ever met.
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,785
It's almost like
you're one of the guys.
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,745
Yeah, almost.
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,665
You have so much spunk,
so much life!
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,709
If only you were an atheist.
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:13,548
W-- Well, you know, I'm --
I'm open to stuff.
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,217
Why has someone
as outspoken as you
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,511
given themselves over
to the whole God thing?
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,179
Oh, I'm not --
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,473
I'm not totally into
the whole God thing.
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:25,560
I just -- I just think, you
know, you can't disprove God.
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,647
Well, what if I told you there
was a flying spaghetti monster?
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,608
Would you believe it simply
because it can't be disproven?
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,569
You're right!
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,196
It's so simple!
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,156
God is a spaghetti monster!
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,951
Oh, thank you!
Geez! My eyes are open!
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,787
Hey, everyone, I'm an atheist!
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,665
Really?
Oh, that's wonderful!
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,792
No!
I totally get it now!
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,545
Evolution explains everything!
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,964
There's no great mystery
to life, just evolution!
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,716
And God's a spaghetti monster!
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,467
Thank you, Richard!
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,428
You're so welcome!
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,138
Would you like to...
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,890
head over to my place
for dessert?
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,184
[ Grunting ]
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,686
Oh, yeah!
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,604
Yeah, I'm a monkey!
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,565
Give this monkey what she wants!
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,275
- Oh, Ms. Garrison!
- Yeah!
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,402
Pound my monkey hole, Richard!
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,070
Yeah!
I'm a monkey, all right!
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,698
[ Wind whistling ]
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,867
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:25,328
[ Heartbeat ]
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:28,039
[ Weakly ]
N-Nintendo.
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,958
I'm coming.
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,378
I'm coming...Nintendo.
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,588
[ Heartbeat stops ]
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:37,299
[ Exhales deeply ]
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:47,142
[ Coyote howling in distance ]
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,478
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,695
[ Rumbling ]
00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,712
[ "Buck Rogers in the
25th Century" theme plays ]
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,331
[ Music continues ]
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:06,721
[ Whirring ]
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,223
We have a pulse.
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,892
[ Coughs, gasps ]
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,771
Can you...understand me?
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,273
Where am I?
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:19,276
My name is Shpeck.
You are safe.
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,444
Safe where, butthole?
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,656
My friend, this is going to be
a bit of a shock,
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:28,451
but it is the year 2546.
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:30,996
What?
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:34,583
You have been frozen in ice
for over 500 years.
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,918
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:41,756
Butters.
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,217
Butters, you black asshole!
[ Grunts ]
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,969
Please, be careful.
You are frail.
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,054
Is the Wii out?
Where is the Wii?
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,973
[ Beeping ]
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,558
Ah.
Nintendo Wii --
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:54,311
a primitive gaming device
used in his time.
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:55,145
Primitive?
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,314
It has motion-control
controllers, asswipe.
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,441
Young man,
you don't seem to understand.
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,153
Your family, your friends,
everyone you knew
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:07,282
has been dead
for over 500 years.
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,743
I don't care!
Is there a Nintendo Wii?!
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,454
We don't play video games
in our time.
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,790
There's no such thing
as a Nintendo Wii.
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,834
- [ Dramatic music plays ]
- No.
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,629
No!
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,924
[ Bell rings ]
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,800
DAWKINS:
You must understand, children,
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,261
that we are dealing with
very large numbers here.
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,804
[ Thinking ]
That's my man.
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:33,224
So evolution doesn't even happen
by chance.
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,477
It is, in fact, bound to happen.
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:36,853
That's right, kids.
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:40,148
And so, you see,
there is no God.
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,149
Careful, darling.
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,817
The school board doesn't like it
when we --
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,569
Well, there could still
be a god.
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:45,695
What?
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,280
Couldn't evolution be the answer
to "how?"
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:48,698
And not the answer to "why?"
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,493
- Uh-oh! Retard alert!
- [ Bell clanging ]
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,286
Retard alert, class!
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,789
Do you believe in a flying
spaghetti monster, too,
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:56,831
bubble head?
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,208
I wasn't talking about
spaghetti.
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,334
Come on, you.
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,378
You're gonna have to sit
in the dunce chair!
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,637
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,139
Ms. Garrison...
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:16,476
I'm not so sure what you did
in class today was right.
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:17,894
What?
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:21,147
But, Dick, you told me that the
world would be a better place
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,440
without religion.
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,902
Yes, but to be so bold about it.
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:30,615
I've just never seen a woman
with such...balls.
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,245
You've just been too soft
on religious people in the past.
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,746
Think about it, Richard.
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,666
With your intellect
and my balls,
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:42,877
we can change the future
of the world.
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,296
Can you imagine a world
with no religion?
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:46,756
No Muslims killing Jews,
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,426
no Christians bombing
abortion clinics.
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:54,222
The world would be a wonderful
place...without God.
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,808
You're the smartest man
on earth, Dick.
00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:00,603
With me by your side,
there's no stopping you.
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,857
Oh, just let me see
those beautiful breasts again.
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:06,735
Oh...all right.
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,447
Oh, yeah, baby.
00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:11,823
Pbbbbht!
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,408
Oh, yeah! Oh!
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,743
Pbbbbbht!
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,621
Quick, General Disarray!
Kill those superheroes!
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:19,956
Pew-pew! Pew-pew!
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:23,460
Yes! Now the world shall feel
the wrath of Professor Chaos!
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,170
- [ Laughs evilly ]
- Butters?
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,838
Butters, you haven't seen
Eric Cartman
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,882
in the past few days, have you?
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,092
- [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- Who, me?
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,511
It's very important, Butters.
He's missing.
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:34,971
You haven't seen
or heard from him?
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,141
No, ma'am.
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,976
Okay.
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,479
Come on, Professor Chaos!
Let's destroy this ant hill!
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,315
G-General Disarray, can I
ask you a scientific question?
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,524
Okay.
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,735
Well, um,
c-can anything bad happen
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,278
if you completely freeze
yourself
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,864
and then unfreeze yourself
three weeks later?
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,282
Yeah.
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,825
Well, like what?
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,036
Like...you die.
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,245
Die?!
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,414
Well, yeah. If you freeze
your body, it means you die.
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,208
When you wake up three weeks
later, you can be unfrozen,
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,168
but you're still dead.
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,337
Oh, hamburgers!
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:09,923
Eric!
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,132
Eric!
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,177
You just left him here
without a jacket or anything?
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,595
He told me to!
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,971
He's dead for sure.
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:17,972
Wait.
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,808
It's all different!
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,434
Nothing's in the same place!
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:22,644
Oh, my God.
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,020
Eric!
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,355
Eric!
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,856
Butters.
B-Butters! Butters!
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,691
- We have to get out of here.
- What?
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,360
Nobody is ever going to find
his body.
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,862
You've got to never say anything
about this, you understand?
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:33,863
He's dead!
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,865
If they know you had a hand
in it, you'll go to jail!
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,784
But I just did what he told me!
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,035
Come on!
We have to leave!
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,703
Oh, jumpin' Jesus.
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,622
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,624
[ Wind whistling ]
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,837
This is terrible.
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,339
Five hundred years
in the future.
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,508
[ Sobbing ]
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512
Eric, I have good news for you.
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,014
We may have found you
a Nintendo Wii.
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,724
What?!
Really?!
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,518
Yes! Yes!
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,937
It's rumored that there's one
at the Museum of Technology
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,021
in New New Hampshire.
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,065
So I'm not too late.
Come on! Let's go!
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,025
Well, there's just...
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:14,320
T-There's something
we need from you first.
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:19,284
You see, my young friend,
you were unfrozen for a reason.
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,744
Lots of people froze themselves
in cryogenic labs,
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,246
and we don't unfreeze them.
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,748
But you...are special.
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,209
I know I'm special.
This isn't news to me.
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,962
You lived in the time
when a great event happened,
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:34,674
a glorious event that finally
made all religion obsolete.
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:39,304
Now the entire world is atheist.
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,849
And this gets me a Nintendo Wii
how?
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,852
We believe that somebody
you knew in your time
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:49,564
was the person who first started
our wonderful group --
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,317
the Unified Atheist League!
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,568
Who?
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,069
[ Rumbling, alarm blaring ]
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,864
What in science's name was that?
00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:00,700
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,952
[ Thud echoing ]
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,830
Oh, no!
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,166
It's the United Atheist
Alliance!
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,501
Oh, science help us!
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:15,006
Science damn you,
Unified Atheist League!
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,007
Who are they?
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,177
The alliance atheists.
We're at war with them!
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,307
[ Beeping ]
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,563
- [ Beeping ]
- No!
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,898
Jesus Christ!
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,235
[ Chuckles ] You believe
in a supernatural being.
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,821
- [ Beeping ]
- Oh, my science.
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,243
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,787
I'm just a little boy
from the past
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,706
who wants to play Nintendo Wii.
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:55,171
Put me through to the
Allied Atheist Allegiance!
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,673
On-screen!
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,634
Look, Allied Atheist Allegiance!
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,178
We have the time child!
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:05,848
Science damn you,
United Atheist Alliance!
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:09,060
Now you see, foolish sea otters,
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,854
that we are the atheists
in control!
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,815
It won't make a difference.
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,609
This is the dawning
of the sea otter.
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:19,028
Know this, time child!
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:24,075
I shall smash your skull
like a clam on my tummy!
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:25,994
What?!
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,998
Otters, the time has come!
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,958
Sound the nafurtee!
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,793
ALL:
The nafurtee!
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:38,548
[ Low-pitched tone plays ]
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:39,716
[ Beeping ]
00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:43,386
So...it begins.
rus__T_$0ld!er.srt
rus__T_$0ld!er.srt
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,000
Перевод: T_$0ld!er
00:00:37,225 --> 00:00:40,225
Ну давай же, давай!
00:00:40,925 --> 00:00:45,525
- О Господи ты Боже мой, ну сколько ещё?
- Вот ты где, Эрик. что ты тут делаешь?
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:48,325
Я жду выхода новой Nintendo Wii.
00:00:48,625 --> 00:00:53,725
- И когда это?
- Через три недели. Давай, ну давай же!
00:00:53,825 --> 00:00:56,925
- Тебе пора в школу.
- Нет, мама, ты не понимаешь!
00:00:57,125 --> 00:01:02,825
Я ждал этого месяцами.
А сейчас минуты кажутся вечностью.
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:07,225
Это словно ожидание Рождества...
Только в тысячу раз сильнее.
00:01:08,025 --> 00:01:10,525
Эрик, тебе придётся потерпеть.
00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:12,925
Нет! Нет!
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:19,125
Директор Виктория, это неправильно!
Это неправильно и я не намерена делать это.
00:01:19,225 --> 00:01:23,725
Мне не наплевать на своих учеников
и я не буду забивать их головы бредом.
00:01:23,825 --> 00:01:27,025
Я НЕ БУДУ преподавать теорию эволюции в своём классе.
00:01:27,325 --> 00:01:31,825
Миссис Гариссон, теория эволюции -
обязательная часть учебного плана. Вам придётся
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:36,625
Эволюция это теория? Ха!
Лже-наука, утверждающая, что я - обезьяна.
00:01:36,725 --> 00:01:39,325
А я не обезьяна! Я женщина!
00:01:40,825 --> 00:01:46,425
П'нятненько. А вам не приходило
в голову, что она серьёзно обоснована?
00:01:46,525 --> 00:01:51,725
Я предупреждаю, директрисса Виктория!
Эти дети не готовы услышать подобное.
00:01:51,925 --> 00:01:57,025
Наши дети хотят учиться, миссис Гариссон
и они вполне готовы услышать это.
00:02:00,325 --> 00:02:02,325
Сколько осталось до выхода Nintendo Wii?
00:02:02,425 --> 00:02:05,225
- Всё ещё 3 недели.
- Господи!
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,725
- А сколько теперь осталось?
- ты заткнёшься вконец?
00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:14,925
Так, дети, теперь это моя обязанность:
рассказать вам про эволюцию.
00:02:15,075 --> 00:02:16,325
Ё-моё!
00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:20,525
Итак, слушайте все. Я считаю,
что эволюция - редкий идиотизм,
00:02:21,325 --> 00:02:23,625
но меня заставили это рассказывать.
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:27,025
Её выдумал Чарльз Дарвин, и
выглядит это примерно так:
00:02:27,525 --> 00:02:31,925
Поначалу мы все были рыбами.
ясно? ...и плавали в воде.
00:02:32,025 --> 00:02:35,625
И однажды у двух рыб
родился ребёнок-инвалид,...
00:02:35,725 --> 00:02:38,725
который сильно отличался от других.
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:42,425
И этот мелкий рыб наплодил ещё
кучу рыб-инвалидов,
00:02:42,425 --> 00:02:48,525
и один из них с помощью своих
мутировавших отростков выполз на сушу.
00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:52,925
И эта дрянь занялась анальным сексом
с чем-то типа белки и родила вот это.
00:02:53,025 --> 00:02:59,125
Отсталую лягушко-белку, которая
разродилась обезьяно-лягушко-белкой.
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:03,625
А потом эта тварь поимела ещё
одну обезьяну и родила ублюдка,
00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:07,275
который трахнул макаку и...
00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:09,125
Родились вы!
00:03:10,525 --> 00:03:11,825
Так то вот!
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:17,525
вы - убогие отпрыски пяти обезьян,
отпедривших рыбо-белку. Мои поздравления!
00:03:18,725 --> 00:03:21,025
Я больше не вытерплю!
00:03:22,825 --> 00:03:26,325
Видите? Я знала, что так случится.
00:03:30,425 --> 00:03:33,125
Давай! Давай!
00:03:33,925 --> 00:03:39,025
Слушай, пацан, ну сколько повторять: почётный
караул у магазина не ускорит выхода Wii.
00:03:40,525 --> 00:03:42,625
Эрик, ты идёшь домой, немедленно!
00:03:42,725 --> 00:03:45,125
Можно мне остаться и...
немножко посмотреть на рекламный плакат?
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,825
Уже пора спать. Если ты,
уснёшь, время понесётся быстрее.
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:01,025
Господи!
00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:40,625
с меня хватит! Я не буду ждать 3 недели!
00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:45,825
- Пацаны, пацаны! Вы должны мне помочь!
- Неважно выглядишь, Картман.
00:04:45,825 --> 00:04:50,025
Пацаны, я больше не выдержу.
Ожидание Wii словно убивает меня.
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:52,625
Ничего не поделаешь,
придётся потерпеть.
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,525
Нет, я могу кое-что. (что?)
00:04:56,625 --> 00:05:02,325
Слушайте, во всех научно-фантастических фильмах
астронавтов засовывают в ускорители реальности, так?
00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:04,725
- Я думаю, я знаю как это сделать.
- Сделать что?
00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:10,725
Заморозить меня. Я себя заморожу, а вы,
через 3 недели, меня разморозите.
00:05:10,925 --> 00:05:13,325
Тогда 3 недели пролетят моментально для меня.
00:05:13,925 --> 00:05:17,525
- Нет. - Это простая наука, Кайл.
- Ты сдохнешь, дебил!
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,875
я сдохну если буду ждать выхода Wii!
Это мой единственный шанс!
00:05:20,925 --> 00:05:23,625
- Не, чувак, ни в коем случае.
- Ага. Я ненавижу тебя, но пособничать в убийстве не буду.
00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,925
я думал, вы мне друзья!
Похоже, я ошибался.
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:29,725
После всего, через что мы прошли вместе,
вы не хотите мне помочь даже заморозить себя!
00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:36,125
Директрисса Виктория, мы ревностные католики.
00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:40,525
Не скажете ли мне, почему моя дочь теперь
думает, что она убогая рыбо-белка?
00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:43,025
А я ведь говорила, что так будет, не правда ли?
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,825
Мистер Трискотти, я не знала, что...
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:49,225
Мы убили годы, чтобы вдолбить дочери
учение Иисуса Христа
00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:52,725
а вы в один миг хотите это разрушить?
00:05:52,825 --> 00:05:53,725
Мои слова.
00:05:53,825 --> 00:05:58,225
Сэр, если вы не хотите, чтобы Ваша дочь
изучала эволюцию, мы выгоним её из класса.
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,925
- И вы скорее всего сделаете это!
- Но папа, я хочу узнать всё.
00:06:01,975 --> 00:06:03,625
Нет, не хочешь! Замолкни!
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:08,425
Я же говорила, что мы должны оставить
затею изучения эволюции в школе.
00:06:08,525 --> 00:06:12,125
мне стало ясно, что вы недостаточно хорошо
знаете теорию эволюции, чтобы преподавать её.
00:06:12,225 --> 00:06:15,125
Я Вас заменила. Мистер Доукинс.
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:20,725
- За... заменили? - Ричард Доукинс
всемирно-известный учёный-эволюционист.
00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:23,425
Честь познакомиться с Вами, мисс...
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,925
Заткнись, педик! Директрисса Виктория,
я могу учить свой собственный класс!
00:06:26,975 --> 00:06:30,925
Вы будете сидеть в классе и делать
всё, что попросит мистер Доукинс!
00:06:34,325 --> 00:06:39,525
Миллионы лет жизнь эволюционировала
от простых одноклеточных организмов
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:43,225
к сложным плюаралистичным структурам, что мы видим сегодня.
00:06:43,425 --> 00:06:45,125
Как бы не так.
00:06:45,425 --> 00:06:50,425
Именно генетические изменения позволили
первым млекопитающим дышать на суше.
00:06:50,525 --> 00:06:52,225
Убогие лягушко-рыбы.
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:55,625
Мисс Гариссон,
это весьма грубое упрощение.
00:06:55,825 --> 00:06:59,025
Ну вы и педик!... Можете продолжать.
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:03,725
Видите ли, дети, жизнь обладает потрясающей
склонностью к развитию, адаптации.
00:07:03,825 --> 00:07:06,625
Например, когда обезъяна стала
ходить прямо, появился человек.
00:07:06,725 --> 00:07:09,525
так вы утверждаете, что мы все потомки обезъян?
00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:11,575
Ну, в какой-то мере - да.
00:07:11,675 --> 00:07:15,825
Вы когда-нибудь видели обезъян в зоопарке?
Они срут себе в ладоши и кидаются этим в людей.
00:07:16,225 --> 00:07:19,825
Мисс Гариссон, это не домыслы, это
научный факт.
00:07:19,925 --> 00:07:25,125
А как насчёт факта того, что если вы
верите в эту чушь, то вы отправитесь в ад?
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:28,125
Вообще-то, меня это не беспокоит. Я атеист.
00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:33,325
Ага! Вот и попался!
Я вас раскусила!
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,025
Я никогда и не скрывал.
00:07:35,025 --> 00:07:38,725
И если я мартышка, я могу вести
себя как мартышка, так?
00:07:41,625 --> 00:07:43,525
Мать моя женщина, что Вы творите?
00:07:43,725 --> 00:07:46,625
Не спрашивайте меня, я, бл*дь, обезьяна!
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:53,275
Директрисса Виктория, я всего лишь
пыталась показать мистеру Доукинсу
00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:55,925
несоответствия в некоторых
научных утверждениях.
00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:58,825
Мисс Гариссон, я удаляю Вас
из этого класса.
00:07:58,925 --> 00:08:02,925
- Что? - Директрисса Виктория,
я не думаю, что это правильная мера.
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:09,325
Эта женщина очень упряма, но она
действительно заботится о своих учениках.
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:15,625
Что ж, ладно. Но вы больше не будете
кидаться... испражнениями, понятно?
00:08:18,425 --> 00:08:21,525
Мисс Гариссон, можно Вас на пару слов?
00:08:21,625 --> 00:08:22,825
Чего?
00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:28,825
Слушайте, я знаю, Вы думаете, у нас с вами вражда,
но я хотел бы, чтоб вы знали: я восхищён вашим пылом.
00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,225
моим... пылом?
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:35,525
Я ещё не встречал женщину столь... сильную.
00:08:35,825 --> 00:08:39,625
Нет, я всего лишь... выказываю
женское негодование от раза к разу.
00:08:39,725 --> 00:08:43,725
Столько смелости в женщине, это так прекрасно..
00:08:44,025 --> 00:08:49,225
- Простите, Вы наверное замужем, но я...
- Нет-нет, мой муж... он умер.
00:08:49,825 --> 00:08:53,125
В таком случае,... не желаете
ли со мной отужинать?
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:57,725
Ну... Ну я думаю, мы могли бы съесть по
котлете или что-то типа того.
00:09:01,225 --> 00:09:04,225
У меня свидание!
00:09:04,325 --> 00:09:08,725
Моё первое настоящее свидание с настоящим
мужчином с тех пор, как я сменила пол!
00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:12,225
Чёрт, что бы мне надеть? эй, люди! Ура!
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:25,984
- Закрой дверь, я пытаюсь заморозиться!
- Эрик, немедленно вылезай.
00:09:26,084 --> 00:09:27,484
Нет! Нет, у меня почти получилось!
00:09:27,584 --> 00:09:32,084
Так, Эрик, это зашло слишком далеко.
Тебе нужно учиться терпеть.
00:09:34,984 --> 00:09:36,684
Баттерс, доставай свою куртку, нам надо идти.
00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:40,084
- Куда идти?
- ты должен помочь мне заморозить себя.
00:09:42,284 --> 00:09:43,684
Без проблем.
00:09:54,484 --> 00:09:56,684
Ну и как же нам отсюда выбираться?
00:09:56,684 --> 00:10:01,484
Баттерс, если кто-то наткнётся на моё замороженное
тело, они попытаются спасти меня. Меня нужно спрятать.
00:10:03,384 --> 00:10:04,684
Это подойдёт.
00:10:06,784 --> 00:10:11,484
И что бы ни случилось, Баттерс, ты не будешь
размораживать меня до момента выхода Nintendo Wii, понял?
00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:13,784
Эрик, ты уверен в том, что это хорошая идея?
00:10:13,884 --> 00:10:16,784
Нет, это не хорошая идея,
это шикарная идея.
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,284
Да... наверное...
00:10:19,384 --> 00:10:22,184
Итак, ты запомнил это место?
ты не должен меня потерять!
00:10:22,284 --> 00:10:24,884
Я запомнил... Большое дерево, овальная скала.
00:10:24,984 --> 00:10:28,084
Всё, теперь пошёл отсюда. Если мы
замёрзнем оба, нам крышка.
00:10:31,184 --> 00:10:33,684
Пошёл отсюда, дебил! Ты
мне весь кайф испортишь.
00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,784
Боже мой.
00:10:39,184 --> 00:10:44,084
Да, давай же. Мёрзни, мёрзни!
00:10:46,084 --> 00:10:48,084
Ну я и сказала своему гинекологу:
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:52,184
"Вы мне слишком много всего в вагину пихаете,
может, теперь мне вас осмотреть?"
00:10:53,484 --> 00:10:57,384
Мисс Гариссон, вы самая непосредственная
женщина из всех, кого я знал.
00:10:57,484 --> 00:10:59,684
Вы словно сама мужчина.
00:10:59,984 --> 00:11:01,684
Хе, да, почти.
00:11:01,884 --> 00:11:07,184
В Вас столько смелости, столько жизни.
Если бы Вы только были атеистом
00:11:10,284 --> 00:11:13,284
Ну... ну, Вы знаете, я поддатлива на чепуху.
00:11:13,684 --> 00:11:17,484
Почему такие прямые люди как вы отдают себя Богу?
00:11:18,034 --> 00:11:25,684
Ну, я не совсем... Я не полностью отдала себя Богу,
просто, ну, понимаете, Вы же не можете доказать, что его нет?
00:11:25,984 --> 00:11:28,784
ну а что если я скажу вам, что существует
летающее макаронное чудище?
00:11:28,784 --> 00:11:31,684
Вы поверите в него просто потому что
не можете доказать, что его нет?
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,184
Вы правы! Это же так просто!
00:11:36,284 --> 00:11:41,084
Бог - это макаронное чудище.
Спасибо Вам, чёрт побери! Вы открыли мне глаза!
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,684
Эй, слушайте все, я атеистка!
00:11:44,384 --> 00:11:46,684
Правда? Это же здорово!
00:11:46,784 --> 00:11:51,484
Всё, я окончательно всё поняла!
Эволюция всё объясняет!
00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:55,884
Не существует никакой Велиой истины жизни,
только эволюция и макаронное чудище.
00:11:55,884 --> 00:11:59,484
- Спасибо, Ричард!
- Вы меня так обрадовали.
00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:03,984
Вы не зайдёте ко мне... на чашечку кофе?
00:12:06,984 --> 00:12:11,584
О да! Да, я обезьяна!
Дайте этой обезъяне того, что она хочет!
00:12:11,784 --> 00:12:17,284
- О миссис Гариссон!
- Да, долби мою обезьянью дыру! Да, я обезьяна, и мне супер!
00:12:25,684 --> 00:12:27,984
Nintendo.
00:12:28,684 --> 00:12:33,284
Я иду, Nintendo.
00:14:07,184 --> 00:14:08,384
Есть пульс.
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:15,184
Ты меня понимаешь?
00:14:15,384 --> 00:14:19,384
- Где я?
- Меня зовут Швек. Ты в безопасности.
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,484
Где в безопасности, идиот?
00:14:22,084 --> 00:14:28,584
мой друг, не пугайся, но это... 2546 год.
00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:31,084
Что??
00:14:31,384 --> 00:14:35,084
Ты был заморожен 500 лет.
00:14:40,984 --> 00:14:43,784
Баттерс! Баттерс, ты зло#бучая крыса!
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:48,184
- Пожалуйста, будь осторожнее. ты ещё не пришёл в себя.
- Вышла ли Wii? Где Wii?
00:14:50,484 --> 00:14:54,384
А, Nintendo Wii, примитивное
игровое устройство его времён.
00:14:54,384 --> 00:14:57,484
Примитивное? У него есть регуляторы движения, кретин!
00:14:57,584 --> 00:14:59,684
Молодой человек, ты, вероятно не понял...
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:06,884
Твоя семья, друзья, все, кого ты
знал погибли около 500 лет назад.
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,884
Да мне плевать! Есть тут Nintendo Wii?
00:15:10,184 --> 00:15:15,484
Мы не играем в видеоигры здесь.
Тут не существует Nintendo Wii.
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:20,484
Нет. Неееет!
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:28,714
Вы должны понимать, дети, что мы имеем
дело здесь с очень большими числами.
00:15:28,814 --> 00:15:30,114
Это мой мужчина!
00:15:30,114 --> 00:15:35,814
Эволюция произошла не просто так, на
самом деле, она должна была произойти.
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:40,175
Это правда, дети. И вы
видите, что нет никакого Бога.
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:44,475
- Осторожно, дорогая. школьный совет не любит, когда...
- Но ведь эволюция не исключает существования Бога.
00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:48,875
- Что?
- Эволюция говорит "как", но не "почему".
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:53,475
тревога! В классе замечен отсталый!
Позор отсталому, класс!
00:15:53,575 --> 00:15:56,875
Ты тоже веришь в летающее
макаронное чудище, яйцеголовый?
00:15:56,925 --> 00:16:01,675
- я ничего не говорил про макароны...
- Иди сюда! Посидишь на месте для тупых.
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:06,175
"Я ВЕРЮ"
00:16:11,375 --> 00:16:16,775
Мисс Гариссон, я не уверен, что то, что
вы сделали сегодня в классе - правильно.
00:16:16,825 --> 00:16:22,375
Что? Но Дик, ты сказал мне, что
мир станет лучше без религии.
00:16:22,675 --> 00:16:25,975
Да, но ты столь... смела в этом плане.
00:16:26,175 --> 00:16:30,875
Я ещё не встречал женщины столь мужественной.
00:16:31,775 --> 00:16:35,175
Ты был слишком обходителен с верующими раньше...
00:16:35,775 --> 00:16:39,875
Подумай об этом, Ричард.
С твоим интеллектом и моей силой...
00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:42,875
мы можем изменить будущее мира.
00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:45,375
Только представь себе мир без религии!
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:49,675
Мусульмане не убивают евреев,
Христиане не взрывают клиники абортов.
00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:54,075
Мир был бы замечательным местом... без Бога.
00:16:54,775 --> 00:17:00,675
ты умнейший человек на земле, Дик. С моей
поддержкой, никто не сможет тебя остановить
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:04,075
Дай мне взглянуть ещё раз на твои прекрасные гуди.
00:17:04,475 --> 00:17:06,775
Конечно, милый..
00:17:09,075 --> 00:17:11,175
О да, детка.
00:17:15,675 --> 00:17:18,875
Быстрее, генерал Бардак! Убей тех супергероев.
00:17:20,175 --> 00:17:23,975
Да, мир почувствует злость
профессора Хаоса!
00:17:24,575 --> 00:17:28,575
Баттерс, ты не видел случайно Эрика
Картмана последние дни?
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,375
Кто, я?
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:35,175
Это очень важно, Баттерс. Он пропал.
Ты ничего не знаешь о нём?
00:17:36,675 --> 00:17:37,875
Нет, мам.
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:40,175
Хорошо.
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,575
Вперёд, профессор Хаос!
Уничтожим этот муравейник!
00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:46,475
- Генерал Бардак, могу я задать
Вам научный вопрос? - Конечно.
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:52,775
Ну... Может ли что-то плохое случиться, если ты заморозил
себя полностью, и разморозили тебя только через 3 недели?
00:17:53,775 --> 00:17:55,875
- Да.
- Ну и типа чего?
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:59,375
- Типа смерти.
- Смерти?
00:17:59,475 --> 00:18:04,675
Да. Если ты обморозишь своё тело, ты умрёшь.
Если через 3 недели тебя достанут и разморозят, ты всё равно будешь мёртв.
00:18:05,275 --> 00:18:07,175
Мама!
00:18:08,675 --> 00:18:11,175
Эрик!
00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:14,375
ты просто оставил его здесь?
Без одежды и всего остального?
00:18:14,475 --> 00:18:17,075
- Как он мне сказал.
- Он точно уже мёртв.
00:18:17,275 --> 00:18:21,575
Стой. тут всё по другому.
ничего похожего на то место.
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,175
Господи Боже мой!
00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:25,575
Эрик!
00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:28,675
- Баттерс, нам надо уходить отсюда!
- Что??
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,075
Никто никогда не найдёт его тело.
Ты никому ничего об этом не скажешь, понял?
00:18:33,275 --> 00:18:35,975
Он мёртв, и если кто-то узнает, что
ты к этому причастен, тебя посадят в тюрьму!
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:39,475
- Но я просто делал, что он сказал мне!
- Пойдём, нам надо идти!
00:18:39,575 --> 00:18:41,075
Чёрт побери.
00:18:47,575 --> 00:18:51,275
Это ужасно! 500 лет в будущем.
00:18:56,275 --> 00:18:59,875
Эрик, у меня хорошие новости.
Мы можем достать тебе Nintendo Wii.
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:03,575
что, правда? ДА! ДА!
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:07,175
По слухам, осталась одна в Политехниеском
Музее в Нью Нью Хемпшире.
00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:09,675
так ещё не поздно! Пойдёмте, идёмте же!
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:14,075
Только... сначала и нам кое-что от тебя нужно.
00:19:15,475 --> 00:19:19,575
Видишь ли, дружок, тебя разморозили
не просто так, а с определённой целью.
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:23,475
Многие заморозили себя в криогенных
камерах, и мы не размораживаем их...
00:19:23,575 --> 00:19:28,275
- ...Но ты... особенный.
- я знаю, что я особенный, это для меня не новость.
00:19:28,475 --> 00:19:34,875
Ты жил во времена, когда произошло величайшее событие.
Победоносное событие, которое похоронило все религии.
00:19:35,075 --> 00:19:38,675
Теперь целый мир - атеисты.
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:42,775
И это позволит мне получить Nintendo Wii?
00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:49,875
Мы верим, что кто-то, с кем ты был знаком,
основал замечательное движение:...
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:53,475
- Лига Объединённых Атеистов.
- Кто?
00:19:55,475 --> 00:19:57,875
Во имя науки, что это было?
00:20:04,975 --> 00:20:08,375
О нет! Это Альянс объединённых атеистов.
00:20:08,425 --> 00:20:10,675
О наука, помоги нам!
00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:15,175
Наука накажет вас, Лига Объединённых Атеистов!
00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:18,975
- Кто они?
- Атеисты из альянса, мы воюем с ними.
00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:29,975
НЕТ!
00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:32,075
Господи Иисусе!
00:20:32,875 --> 00:20:35,175
Ха-ха, ты веришь в сверхестественное существо!
00:20:36,975 --> 00:20:39,175
О Наука!
00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:47,975
Я всего лишь маленький мальчик из прошлого,
который хочет поиграть в Nintendo Wii.
00:20:52,675 --> 00:20:55,375
свяжите меня с
Независимым Сообществом Атеистов.
00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:56,975
На проводе.
00:20:57,475 --> 00:21:01,875
Ха, обломитесь, НСА! У нас
Дитя Времени!
00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:06,075
Наука покарает вас, Альянс!
00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:11,875
Видите, глупые выдры,
мы теперь главные атеисты!
00:21:12,175 --> 00:21:16,775
Не имеет значения, это рассвет выдр!
да будет тебе известно, Дитя Времени
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:23,975
я раздавлю твою голову как креветку у себя на тарелке!
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,175
Что???
00:21:27,275 --> 00:21:32,175
Выдры! Время пришло! Трубите в рог!
00:21:32,275 --> 00:21:33,975
Рог!
00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,875
Началось...
00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:44,875
Продолжение следует...
Скриншоты
