Учительница соблазняет мальчика — Айк и его учительница крутят любовный роман. Картмана наделяют властью коридорного смотрителя, и он помогает Кайлу бороться с опасным увлечением Айка.

Предыдущая серия S10 E09 Загадка о дерьме в писсуаре

Следующая серия S10 E11 Ад на земле 2006

Учительница соблазняет мальчика

Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy

Сезон: 10Серия: 10

Описание

Айк и его учительница крутят любовный роман. Картмана наделяют властью коридорного смотрителя, и он помогает Кайлу бороться с опасным увлечением Айка.

Субтитры

00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:12,000 South Park S10E10 Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy Мисс Учительница совратила пацана southpark.org.ru
00:00:12,001 --> 00:00:16,001 transcript- Я@R
00:00:20,002 --> 00:00:28,002 South.Park.S10E10.DSR.XviD-NoTV
00:00:36,683 --> 00:00:39,583 и потом я засунул мой палец себе в жопу, так?
00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:41,283 потом подошел к Келли Нельсон,
00:00:41,283 --> 00:00:44,183 сказал:"чувcтвуеш как пахнет лимонная трава?" и она занюхала мой палец и блюванула, прикольно!
00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:46,583 ох парни, вам стоило бы это увидеть.
00:00:47,783 --> 00:00:49,283 Эрик я должен отвести тебя в кабинет директора
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,583 Что? Я этого не делал. Келли Нельсон врунья!
00:00:52,883 --> 00:00:54,883 Мне сказали отвести тебя в кабинет директора.
00:00:54,883 --> 00:00:57,883 Да, пососи мои яйца, ты рыже-еврейский коридорный смотритель!
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,083 рвотный стукач, да кто ты ебать такой?
00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:01,583 Я всего лишь делаю мою работу.
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:02,583 Я всего бла бла бла...
00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:05,383 Знаешь почему ты коридорный смотритель? потому что у тебя нет друзей.
00:01:05,383 --> 00:01:07,783 Тебе следует покончить с собой! Тебе следует покончить с собой!
00:01:07,783 --> 00:01:10,783 Эрик Картмен явитесь, в кабинет директора немедленно
00:01:11,283 --> 00:01:12,283 Черт подери!
00:01:13,483 --> 00:01:14,683 Входи Эрик.
00:01:15,383 --> 00:01:17,383 Мне очень жаль директор Виктория, Я не хотел этого делать,
00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:18,783 как я мог быть та глуп?
00:01:18,783 --> 00:01:20,283 Эрик, причина по которой мы позвали тебя сюда
00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:23,483 это то что пришла твоя очередь тебе быть Коридорным Смотрителем.
00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:26,083 Коридорным...Я?
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,983 Тебе следует следить за плохим поведением
00:01:27,983 --> 00:01:32,283 и контролировать чтобы те кто не в классе имели "разрешение", ок?
00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:35,183 Если кто-то не подчиняется твоей власти приведи его ко мне.
00:01:36,283 --> 00:01:37,783 Власти?...
00:01:38,883 --> 00:01:43,183 Так Эрик, быть Школьным Коридорным это большая ответственность, ок?
00:01:43,183 --> 00:01:45,683 И важно, чтобы ты подошел к работе серьезно,
00:01:45,683 --> 00:01:47,983 и не превышай полномочия.
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:49,183 Кх, Я?
00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:54,983 <i>Сирены пищат вокруг</i>
00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:58,283 <i>Преступники в бегах</i>
00:01:58,283 --> 00:02:01,683 <i>И если я вижу тебя без "разрешения"</i>
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:05,683 <i>Я отведу тебя в директору тк Я - Мужик!</i>
00:02:05,683 --> 00:02:09,483 <i>Я - Мужик Я большой плохой мужик</i>
00:02:09,483 --> 00:02:11,683 <i>Коридорный смотритель</i>
00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:16,983 Эй парень, а ну вылась от сюда!
00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:19,483 Ну круто, я все равно уже закончил снимать свое видео.
00:02:27,183 --> 00:02:29,083 "Разрешение"!!! Покажи мне твое "Разрешение"!!!
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:30,583 что?
00:02:31,483 --> 00:02:32,483 Ты знаешь, что это такое?
00:02:32,483 --> 00:02:35,083 это средство которое используют для усмерения медведей, пидрило!
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:36,383 А теперь покажи мне твое "разрешение"!
00:02:36,383 --> 00:02:37,383 Вот оно!
00:02:38,183 --> 00:02:40,383 Отлично, братан. Иди с миром!
00:02:40,383 --> 00:02:42,583 Что? Ты не можешь просто так толкнуть меня ....
00:02:44,983 --> 00:02:47,683 Я Мужик, Плохой мужик...
00:02:48,783 --> 00:02:50,083 О боже мой!
00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:54,283 Что это за Еб*тьня?
00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:58,783 Это форма имеет четыре стороны, и называется... как класс?
00:03:01,483 --> 00:03:04,183 Айк Брофловский, ты засоряешь мой коридор, братан!
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,383 Что ты делаешь?
00:03:06,183 --> 00:03:07,283 Я нашел Это на проходе.
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:09,783 Похоже ваш ученик Айк Втрескался в вас
00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:11,583 Втюрился в свою учительницу,
00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:13,283 не разбрасывай у меня это на проходе, брат!
00:03:13,283 --> 00:03:14,283 Ступай с миром.
00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:17,083 - Держите. - Я не считаю, что это необходимо.
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:19,183 Эй, Я не учу вас преподавать,
00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:20,783 не учите меня присматривать за Коридором!
00:03:21,683 --> 00:03:25,683 АЙК ВТЮРИЛСЯ В УЧИЛКУ!!!
00:03:27,383 --> 00:03:28,683 Достаточно класс!
00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:32,483 Ну, увидимся завтра...
00:03:33,783 --> 00:03:35,783 Айк, не мог бы ты задержаться на минутку?
00:03:39,983 --> 00:03:42,683 Айк, мне очень жаль, что все узнали о твоей любовной записке
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:47,483 Но я должна быть с тобой честна, Я видела большое количество женщин-учителей в новостях
00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:50,183 у кого были отнашения с юнными учиниками.
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:55,783 И у людей возникает неправильное мнение. хотя, я восхищаюсь тобой
00:03:56,383 --> 00:03:58,183 Ты такой сообразительный и одаренный,
00:03:58,183 --> 00:04:00,383 такой зрелый для своего возраста.
00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:06,883 -<i>Я не любля Масонов</i> Ты слушаешь, и тебе есть дело, что я хочу сказать.
00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:10,983 Ты заставляешь меня чувствовать вещи, которые я раньше не чувствовала.
00:04:15,783 --> 00:04:18,883 Айк, это безумие... Я твоя учительница...
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,783 Как мы можем иметь такие чувства друг к другу?
00:04:22,483 --> 00:04:27,183 Ты такой загадочный и я не могу... я не могу...
00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:34,383 <i>... и я не могу больше побороть эти чувства...</i>
00:04:34,783 --> 00:04:41,023 <i>Я забыл за что я начал боротся </i>
00:04:41,183 --> 00:04:45,283 <i>если я буду ползать по полу, </i>
00:04:45,283 --> 00:04:48,083 <i>разбившись об твою дверь, </i>
00:04:48,683 --> 00:04:57,483 <i>детка, я не могу больше побороть эти чувства...</i>
00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:09,283 Это было невероятно, Я раньше не чувствовала себя женщиной настолько глубоко!
00:05:09,783 --> 00:05:11,283 скажут что наша любовь это не правильно,
00:05:11,283 --> 00:05:12,983 но мы не можем допустить чтобы кто-нибудь узнал,
00:05:12,983 --> 00:05:14,783 они никогда не поймут.
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,683 Мы нечтожны, я знаю.
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,683 Но как секс может быть таким потрясным?
00:05:22,483 --> 00:05:24,683 Айк занимался любовью.
00:05:31,483 --> 00:05:33,683 Эй мистер сосиска, ты знаешь что ?
00:05:33,683 --> 00:05:35,183 хочешь ли по-маленькому, да наверно?
00:05:35,883 --> 00:05:39,183 РУКИ! Покажи мне свои руки!
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:41,783 Где твое "разрешение", покажи мне его!
00:05:41,783 --> 00:05:43,583 Оно... оно... оно только что было у меня!
00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:44,583 Так и знал!
00:05:51,673 --> 00:05:52,383 Послушай, братан, Я должен был привести тебя сюда
00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:54,683 Я не имею никакой неприязни к тебе, ok?
00:05:55,383 --> 00:05:57,483 - Эй, Закурить? - ... ok.
00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:02,783 - Тебе надо держаться пути Хреста, брат! - Я держусь.
00:06:03,683 --> 00:06:06,183 господь всемогущий, ты можешь жить стандартную жизнь
00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:09,383 или ходить по коридорам туду сюда или ты можешь увидеть свет!
00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:15,983 Кайл, мне надо чтобы ты забрал Айка из дома его учительницы.
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:17,883 Скажи учительнице, что мне жаль,
00:06:17,883 --> 00:06:20,083 но я забыла что сегодня день, когда доктор прихоит
00:06:20,783 --> 00:06:22,283 что он делает у учителя дома?
00:06:22,283 --> 00:06:25,183 он пошел к ней сегодня на частную тренировку
00:06:34,683 --> 00:06:35,683 Здрасте?
00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:37,983 Извините,?
00:06:38,283 --> 00:06:39,683 я здесь чтобы забрать Айка.
00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:43,983 ЭЭЭЙ ? Айк здесь?
00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:47,583 Алло?
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:49,783 О, боже! Простите, Я не имел...
00:06:49,783 --> 00:06:51,783 я просто ищу своего брата!
00:06:55,383 --> 00:06:56,183 Айк?!
00:06:58,583 --> 00:06:59,883 Что за черт тут происходит?
00:07:00,783 --> 00:07:02,883 Все пропало, Айк. Нас застукали.
00:07:04,183 --> 00:07:06,183 Подождите, вы не понимаете!
00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:08,683 Серьезно?! Что именно не понимаю?
00:07:08,883 --> 00:07:11,683 Твой брат и я Влюблены
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:14,983 Вам не кажется что он немного молод?
00:07:14,983 --> 00:07:15,983 нет!
00:07:16,683 --> 00:07:19,183 Айк на много зрелее своего возраста, и ты это знаешь
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,483 Он делает меня счастливой, как никто не делал,
00:07:23,483 --> 00:07:25,283 он любит меня и только меня!
00:07:25,283 --> 00:07:27,983 И я знаю, что только с ним я богиня.
00:07:27,983 --> 00:07:29,983 когда мы занимаемся любовью он то жестко, то нежно...
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,983 Все, мы уберемся от сюда!
00:07:34,283 --> 00:07:37,183 Айк, ты не можешь хотеть этого. мы должны рассказать об этом Маме!
00:07:39,883 --> 00:07:40,883 Айк?!
00:07:41,183 --> 00:07:43,983 Так трудно поверить что реальная любовь существует?
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,733 Это сумасшествие!
00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:55,483 Мам, Пап, вы когда-нибудь встречались с учительницой Айка?
00:07:57,483 --> 00:07:59,383 Мисс Стивенсон, да, она очень милая.
00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:01,583 Да, она любит Айка, очень сильно!
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:04,983 - Это здорово. - Нда, только это не до конца здорово.
00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:07,383 Потому, что у Айка и Мисс Стивенсон ...
00:08:07,383 --> 00:08:13,083 - СПАЙДЕРМЭН! - Да, Айк, ты любишь человека-паука?
00:08:15,183 --> 00:08:19,383 Мам, тебе следует обратить внимание чем занимается Айк после школы...
00:08:19,383 --> 00:08:23,883 МАМА, я люблю, люблю тебя.
00:08:24,683 --> 00:08:26,283 мама тебя тоже любит, милый
00:08:27,783 --> 00:08:29,283 Извините нас, мы на секунду
00:08:30,983 --> 00:08:35,083 Ты не можешь объяснить мне...
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,883 что...нет Айк...
00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:41,183 я полагаю тебе...так не честно Айк...
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:48,183 Мам, я думаю, ты должна поговорить с Айком о любви и сексе.
00:08:48,483 --> 00:08:50,783 Секс? оу пупочка, Айк еще слишком мал
00:08:55,383 --> 00:08:57,183 Ты полон дерьма, Фоли!
00:08:57,183 --> 00:08:59,783 А что, Я выстрелил ему в лицо, дважды!
00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:01,833 из-извините
00:09:03,183 --> 00:09:04,483 меня зовут Брэт.
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:07,783 я хочу сообщить об преступлении, анонимно.
00:09:08,283 --> 00:09:09,583 Ну, в чем преступление?
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,363 Я учусь в средней школе Саут Парка,
00:09:11,363 --> 00:09:14,783 и один из учителей занимается сексом с учеником
00:09:16,283 --> 00:09:17,083 О, боже!!!
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:17,883 Слышал, что он сказал!
00:09:17,883 --> 00:09:18,883 Ужас!!!
00:09:18,883 --> 00:09:21,483 Ты правильно сделал что обратился в полицию, Брэт.
00:09:21,483 --> 00:09:23,083 Что за учитель, как его имя?
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,183 Это не мужик, это женщина
00:09:25,183 --> 00:09:26,183 Женщина???
00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,883 Да, и она занимается сексом с мальчиком.
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:30,483 но она страшная, так?
00:09:30,483 --> 00:09:32,183 Да, не совсем.
00:09:32,183 --> 00:09:33,183 Это училка начальных классов, Мисс Стивенсон
00:09:33,183 --> 00:09:34,583 - Блондинка? - Ага
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,283 Итак, какой-то юнец занимается сексом с Мисс Стивенсон?
00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:38,283 ДА
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,583 Милоооо
00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:43,783 что?? нет, Вы не понимаете
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,183 Ты уверен, что у них был секс?
00:09:45,183 --> 00:09:47,683 - Дааа! - А перед этим она занималась с ним оральным сексом?
00:09:47,683 --> 00:09:48,683 Мне так кажеться.
00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:50,683 Мило
00:09:50,683 --> 00:09:51,683 Милоо
00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:52,683 Милооо
00:09:52,683 --> 00:09:55,183 Итак, в чем преступление???
00:09:55,183 --> 00:09:56,583 Преступление, что она не делает этого со мной.
00:09:58,883 --> 00:10:02,083 Эй, ему всего Шесть, она пользуется им.
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:04,583 Ну да, нам жаль. это серьезно.
00:10:05,233 --> 00:10:07,583 мы должны поймать этого ученика,
00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,783 и вручить ему медаль "Американский счастливчик"!
00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:21,874 - Парни, могу я с вами поговорить? - конечно чувак !
00:10:22,474 --> 00:10:23,624 Мне нужно чтобы вы молчали об этом, ок?
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,474 - мой младший братец...
00:10:26,474 --> 00:10:28,374 же почти время урока, нужно очистить коридор!
00:10:28,674 --> 00:10:31,374 Не сейчас, Картмен. У меня серьезные проблемы.
00:10:31,774 --> 00:10:32,774 Чувак, в чем дело?
00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:35,174 Учительница младших классов занимается Сексом с мои младшим братом
00:10:38,574 --> 00:10:40,974 - Вау!? - Черт, братан, твой младший братец, реально крут.
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,024 Это не круто. Айк всего не понимает!
00:10:44,024 --> 00:10:45,024 а, что понимать?
00:10:45,024 --> 00:10:46,474 Делаешь стояк, шлепаешь ее по сиськам
00:10:46,474 --> 00:10:47,774 и вставляешь линивца и писаешь.
00:10:50,174 --> 00:10:51,974 вставляешь линивца и писаешь?
00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:55,074 Ну, ладно. Если ты не хочешь чтобы она залетела,
00:10:55,074 --> 00:10:56,674 можешь вставить-вытащить и писать ей на ноги
00:10:57,174 --> 00:10:59,674 - Чувак, я реально не вижу проблемы - У меня есть проблемы важнее.
00:10:59,674 --> 00:11:00,674 Вы парни не понимаете!
00:11:00,674 --> 00:11:02,374 Отнашения с сумашедшей учительницей, это как школьная подружка.
00:11:02,374 --> 00:11:04,174 Они пишут записки в классе друг другу
00:11:04,174 --> 00:11:05,974 занимаются сексом в перерывах на обед
00:11:05,974 --> 00:11:08,374 сбегают с уроков и целуются в коридорах!
00:11:10,274 --> 00:11:11,274 Они что?
00:11:11,274 --> 00:11:13,674 сбегают с уроков и целуются в коридорах!
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,174 Подожди секунду, Заниматься в коридорах противоречит Школьной политике?
00:11:17,174 --> 00:11:18,174 Но они это делают!
00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:19,574 Вот теперь это личное.
00:11:19,574 --> 00:11:21,374 Коридоры это моя юрисдикция,
00:11:21,374 --> 00:11:24,574 Все правонарушители будут иметь дело с Мужиком
00:11:27,074 --> 00:11:29,274 Итак, продолжайте доделывать ваши рисунки из макарон,
00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:31,074 учительнице надо отойти на секундочку.
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:33,874 А-Айк, не поможеш мне?
00:11:36,674 --> 00:11:39,474 Оу, Айк, Я просто хотела провести секундочку наедине с тобой
00:11:41,674 --> 00:11:44,174 Я написала тебе любовное письмо, и одно старое
00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:46,874 Оу, всего один поцелуй в тишине от класса.
00:11:49,074 --> 00:11:50,374 Стоять нарушители!
00:11:51,374 --> 00:11:52,574 Мы как раз собрались возвращаться.
00:11:52,774 --> 00:11:54,174 У тебя есть "разрешение" находиться в коридоре?
00:11:54,174 --> 00:11:56,374 Мне не нужно Разрешение, я учитель..
00:11:56,774 --> 00:11:57,374 Да, но где его разрешение?
00:11:57,374 --> 00:11:58,774 Слушай, просто отпусти нас обратно, ok ?
00:11:58,774 --> 00:12:00,774 А ну на пол!
00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:02,074 Мы вернемся обратно в класс.
00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:03,674 Хочешь нюхнуть Медвежьего Газа, Шлюха ?
00:12:03,674 --> 00:12:04,674 Медвежьего газа?
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:05,674 Следуй пути Господнему!
00:12:09,374 --> 00:12:10,574 Вот что у меня директор,
00:12:10,574 --> 00:12:12,774 Эти двоя в коридоре Целовались
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,674 У нее были любовные письма к нему.
00:12:14,874 --> 00:12:17,574 "Айк, я томлюсь по твоим обьятиям"
00:12:17,874 --> 00:12:21,374 Мисс Стивенсон, у Вас отношения с этим учеником?
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,174 Да. Проводить время урока в коридоре без разрешения.
00:12:24,774 --> 00:12:26,074 Это не вероятно.
00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:28,774 Я знаю, как будто "разрешения" ее не касаются.
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,874 Мисс Стивенсон, мне следует сообщить в полицию.
00:12:32,374 --> 00:12:33,574 О, боже
00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:35,574 Ты имеешь дело с мужиком, сучка!
00:12:39,474 --> 00:12:42,874 Извините, но мы должны это сделать, тк леди Директор настояла
00:12:44,774 --> 00:12:47,374 - В чем дело? - Учительница младших классов
00:12:47,374 --> 00:12:49,074 задержана за совращение ученика.
00:12:49,474 --> 00:12:52,674 ученика? Но, она женщина!
00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:53,674 Да, я знаю.
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,674 Но, она горяча!
00:12:57,974 --> 00:12:59,974 Вау, я думаю теперь я должен тебе, Картмен
00:12:59,974 --> 00:13:02,974 Ты не должен мне ни чего, мои коридоры - чисты!
00:13:10,774 --> 00:13:13,774 Айк, я тебя не закладывал. Тебя поимел коридорный смотритель.
00:13:15,974 --> 00:13:18,874 Ладно, Ладно. Я должен был что-нибуть сделать.
00:13:18,874 --> 00:13:20,974 но когда-нибудь ты дорастешь до лучшего
00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:23,474 Ты умер для меня.
00:13:24,574 --> 00:13:25,574 Что?
00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:28,974 Я сказа "Ты умер для меня"
00:13:30,574 --> 00:13:31,774 Я умер для тебя ?
00:13:31,774 --> 00:13:33,874 Ты умер для меня, Кайл.
00:13:35,974 --> 00:13:39,374 Я в полицейском участке, они говорят, что у них есть улики
00:13:39,374 --> 00:13:40,774 мне так страшно.
00:13:41,974 --> 00:13:44,274 Слушай, я хочу чтобы ты знал: Все в порядке.
00:13:44,874 --> 00:13:47,874 Если кто-нибудь попытается поговорить с тобой, ни говори им ничего!
00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:51,274 Предоставь это мне. Я знаю выход из ситуации.
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,774 Том, учительница младших классов находящаяся под арестом
00:13:55,774 --> 00:13:59,274 за нелегальные связи с одним из молодых учеников.
00:13:59,274 --> 00:14:02,474 Дело шокирующее, большинство фактов говорит о том,
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:05,174 что училка Довольно горячая штучка, Том.
00:14:05,174 --> 00:14:08,874 Если обвинения подтвердяться, то ЧЕРТ!
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:12,174 похоже, что вышел адвокат подсудимой для официального заявления
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,174 Я заявляю, что мне глубоко жаль
00:14:15,174 --> 00:14:17,674 обвинения выдвинутые против меня правда.
00:14:18,174 --> 00:14:19,474 более нескольких недель,
00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:23,474 у меня были физическое контакт с одним из моих учеником.
00:14:25,674 --> 00:14:27,674 Мило ...
00:14:28,374 --> 00:14:30,574 Я знаю, что мои поступки это плохо
00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:35,374 и я нет оправдания моей глупости... Понимаете, Я - алкоголичка.
00:14:37,974 --> 00:14:39,774 Да, я боюсь это правда.
00:14:40,174 --> 00:14:41,724 - О, нет! - Что?
00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:44,524 Я не верю, Она использует тактику защиты Мела Гибсона
00:14:45,274 --> 00:14:51,174 Я отличный человек. Но когда я пью, алкоголь заставляет говорить и делать
00:14:51,174 --> 00:14:54,574 -меня вещи противоречивые мне. -Ну это все объясняет.
00:14:54,574 --> 00:14:58,074 - Мы продолжем следствие? - кого мы можем обвинить, Джони Уокера?
00:14:58,074 --> 00:14:59,574 Бедная женщина. она же жертва.
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,274 Да, она Горячая жертва.
00:15:02,974 --> 00:15:06,374 моя клиентка согласна пройти курс лечения с зависимостью, немедленно.
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,274 даааа, даааа. удачи мэм, Вы сможете побороть алкоголизм!
00:15:12,374 --> 00:15:14,374 [Нарко и Алко реабилитационный центр Округа]
00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:23,374 Алкоголь это разрушение, которое мы используем, чтобы исцелить себя.
00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:25,874 Прикрытие для эмоционального багажа кроющегося в нашем прошлом.
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:29,374 Были ли у вас сексуальные и другие расстройства в вашей семье?
00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:32,674 Нет, но мой дядя просил меня, и мою сестру близняшку целоваться
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:34,574 и фотографировал это.
00:15:36,374 --> 00:15:37,374 Милооо ...
00:15:39,174 --> 00:15:42,174 - Поздравляю, мисс Стивенсон! - мне гораздо лучше теперь!
00:15:54,974 --> 00:15:57,274 - Айк! - Мисс Стивенсон!
00:15:59,174 --> 00:16:02,374 Айк, мы должны убраться от сюда. Они никогда на позволят нам быть вместе.
00:16:02,374 --> 00:16:06,674 Я считаю, считаю мы должны уехать в Милан. мы говорили постоянно об этом.
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,674 Дааааааааа, Мулан!
00:16:10,174 --> 00:16:12,374 Давай сделаем это вместе. У нас нет времени.
00:16:18,774 --> 00:16:19,774 Айк, ты в порядке?
00:16:20,274 --> 00:16:21,274 Айк?
00:16:23,074 --> 00:16:24,274 ААААЙК!!!
00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:32,503 Ты не врешь, Фоли?
00:16:32,503 --> 00:16:34,603 Нет же серьезно, я пристрелил их обоих,
00:16:34,603 --> 00:16:36,403 они даже ничего не сделали.!
00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:38,603 Помогите, Пожалста, мне нужна ваша помощь!
00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:41,803 Эта учительница, мисс Стивенсон. Она уехала с моим сыном.
00:16:41,803 --> 00:16:43,803 У меня есть записка, в которой говориться что они уехали в Милан!
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,303 - Вы шутите! - Нет, это правда!
00:16:46,303 --> 00:16:49,303 Черт, где были эти сексуальные училки, когда я был ребенком?
00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:51,103 Это серьезно!
00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:54,103 Да, парнишка уехал в Милан с красивой, молодой женщиной,
00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:55,603 быстро звоните в ФБР!
00:16:57,503 --> 00:16:59,003 Вы ничего не сделаете?
00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:01,703 Ну ладно, ладно. Мы сделаем описание, о господи..
00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,503 Вот ты где. Что ты делаешь?
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:07,803 Ты сдался, братан?
00:17:07,803 --> 00:17:10,203 Забрать брата в Милан, что тут поделаешь!
00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:12,603 Нет, они зарезервировали номер в отеле, вылет завтра утром.
00:17:13,503 --> 00:17:14,103 Откуда тебе это известно?
00:17:14,503 --> 00:17:16,703 Мне Бетт проверила списки вылетающих.
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,803 - Кто такая Бетт? - Бетт - моя сучка!
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:20,503 Я собрал свою Коридорную банду, братан.
00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,503 Я найду эту "коридорную засранку", неважно как!
00:17:22,503 --> 00:17:24,103 Ты с нами?
00:17:27,503 --> 00:17:30,403 [Лирой - асистент мужика.] <i>Я собрал несколько подонков себе в помощь!</i>
00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:33,303 [Эрл - водитель мужика.] <i>Я плачу им всего 50 баксов</i>
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:36,803 [Бетт - Шлюха Мужика.] <i>Я счетаю, что у той тетки нет "разрешения"</i>
00:17:37,503 --> 00:17:40,603 [Кайл - Еврей.] <i>Тебе не скрыться от меня, потом как Я - мужик</i>
00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:44,503 <i>Я мужик, полохой мужик</i>
00:17:44,503 --> 00:17:47,303 думаете выйти в коридор без "разрешения"? Подумаете дважды.
00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:50,103 Ну как, Батерс?
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,103 Это получилось довольно хорошо.
00:17:52,703 --> 00:17:54,103 Мы можем теперь идти?
00:17:54,603 --> 00:17:56,203 Да, брат. Видео снято, двинули!
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:03,503 Айк, ты собираешься только смотреть ТВ?
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:05,103 Я люблю ТВ! Дааа!
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:07,803 А как же я?
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:09,503 Я хочу поговорить.
00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:14,003 Все посмотрите на фото внимательно!
00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:15,903 Ее надо взять быстро и чисто!
00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:19,203 она убегает, но не знает что связалась с Чуваком!
00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:22,303 Бетт нашла то что они остановились
00:18:22,303 --> 00:18:24,503 в Отеле "Аэропорт hilton"! Надо найти ее!
00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:26,203 Вот отель!
00:18:26,203 --> 00:18:27,703 Бетт, скажи Эрлу припорковаться Там!
00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:31,603 Вперед, пошли!
00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:34,203 Эй, вы не можете оставить свою машину тут.
00:18:34,203 --> 00:18:35,603 все в порядке, я Коридорный смотритель!
00:18:36,903 --> 00:18:38,703 Разделимся, Лирой на двадцатый!
00:18:38,903 --> 00:18:39,903 Могу Вам чем-нибуть помочь?
00:18:39,903 --> 00:18:41,703 Вы видели эту женщину, братан. она остановилась здесь
00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:43,703 Кто Вы?
00:18:43,703 --> 00:18:46,903 Я мужик, Плохой мужик!
00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:49,803 Я думаю вам лучше уйти пока я не вызвал полицию!
00:18:49,803 --> 00:18:51,103 Бетт, травони этого мужика.
00:18:52,903 --> 00:18:54,603 Проверьте на крыше, Лирой и Кайл туда
00:18:54,603 --> 00:18:56,003 Бетт за мной.
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,403 Вышлите полицию сюда, срочно!
00:19:01,803 --> 00:19:03,403 - да ? - Я ищу эту училку,
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:04,503 она не в твоем номере, Брат?
00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:06,303 Вы не против вести себя потише?
00:19:06,303 --> 00:19:07,503 Закрой свой рот, брат !
00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:14,603 О нет, Айк, они выследили нас!
00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:16,303 О, нет.
00:19:16,803 --> 00:19:18,803 скорей, дорогой! нам надо убираться от сюда.!
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,103 Куда они делись? Куда они делись?
00:19:20,103 --> 00:19:21,103 Кто вызывал 911?
00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:22,103 Они пошли в ту сторону!
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,003 Аккуратней у них болон с газом на медведя!
00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:28,103 открывайте, я с мужиком !
00:19:28,903 --> 00:19:29,903 о дерьмо !
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,103 Не с места !
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,503 Пойдем дорогой !
00:19:38,703 --> 00:19:40,703 Эй, они у меня, чувак!
00:19:41,203 --> 00:19:42,503 о Иисус, мы идем !
00:19:42,503 --> 00:19:43,703 Бежим, Айк !
00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:48,003 Бетт пали из болона !
00:19:55,603 --> 00:19:56,603 Не с места, сучка!
00:19:57,003 --> 00:19:58,003 Стоять, не двигаться, Руки...
00:19:58,003 --> 00:19:59,403 Стоять! Стоять!
00:19:59,403 --> 00:20:03,103 Все в порядке. Это Недоразумение. Я Коридорный Смотритель
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:07,703 Эта беглянка засоряет коридоры и пыталась уехать в Милан.
00:20:08,503 --> 00:20:11,303 Эй, эта та училка по которой у нас розыск!
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,303 Ну все, Мисс Стивенсон, вам некуда бежать...
00:20:14,303 --> 00:20:16,103 Почему вы не можете просто оставить нас в покое?
00:20:16,603 --> 00:20:18,103 Все что мы хотим, это любить
00:20:18,403 --> 00:20:21,203 Спокойно! мы могли сделать это просто, сделаем это по-Мужски!
00:20:21,703 --> 00:20:24,203 У нее платок повязан на говове, а...
00:20:26,103 --> 00:20:29,303 Все кончено, Айк. Милан, дом в Таскнии
00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:31,403 они никогда не дадут нам быть вместе.
00:20:31,803 --> 00:20:33,703 нам придется прибегнуть к запасному варианту.
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,903 Так, подождите. не делайте ничего глупого, Мы можем поговорить об этом
00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:47,003 Вы не можете допустить нашу любовь, итак мы можем быть вместе только вечности!
00:20:47,503 --> 00:20:48,503 нет!
00:20:48,503 --> 00:20:49,603 Нет, Айк. не делай этого!
00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:56,103 Я знаю, твоя первая любовь кажется тебе единственной,но поверь мне это не так.
00:20:56,103 --> 00:20:59,403 У тебя еще столько впереди.
00:21:02,103 --> 00:21:04,603 Вы не верите в реальную любовь, Вам не понять!
00:21:05,103 --> 00:21:08,003 Айк, тебе нужно жить! Веселись!
00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:10,303 Когда разваляться эти начнуться новые серьезные отнашения.
00:21:12,703 --> 00:21:15,903 Я боюсь вы опоздали, ты готов, любовь моя?
00:21:15,903 --> 00:21:16,903 Пошли!!
00:21:17,403 --> 00:21:19,203 Один-Два-Триииииииииииии...
00:21:21,703 --> 00:21:22,703 Айк!!!?
00:21:27,303 --> 00:21:28,303 Айк
00:21:30,103 --> 00:21:32,503 Ну, похоже в очередной раз Мужик одержал победу.
00:21:32,503 --> 00:21:35,303 Надеюсь, вы поняли, ребята, Если вы не следуете пути Господня,
00:21:35,303 --> 00:21:37,903 вы падете так низко как эта расплющенная сучка на асфальте.
00:21:38,503 --> 00:21:40,403 Эй, парень, убирайся-ка ты с крыши.
00:21:40,903 --> 00:21:42,503 Ну круто, я все равно уже закончил снимать свое видео.

00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:12,013 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,362 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:32,992 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,165 And so then I put my finger up my butthole, right?
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,708 And I walked up to Kelly Nelson,
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,376 and I said, "Do you smell lemongrass?"
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,045 And she smelled my finger and puked!
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,380 Oh, God. You should have been there.
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,341 Eric, I have to take you to the principal's office.
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,217 What?
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,344 I didn't do it. Kelly Nelson's a liar!
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,638 I've been instructed to bring you to the principal's office.
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,475 Oh, suck my balls, you ginger Jew-rat hall monitor.
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,517 Punk-ass stoolie.
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,019 Who the do you think you are?
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,020 I'm just doing my job.
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,354 "I'm just da-da-da-da!"
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,773 You know why you're a hallway monitor?
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,232 Because you don't have any friends.
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,651 You should kill yourself. You should kill yourself!
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:08,986 Eric Cartman,
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,696 report to the principal's office immediately.
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,698 Aw, God damn it!
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,325 Come on in, Eric.
00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,869 I'm sorry, Principal Victoria. I didn't mean to do it.
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,412 How could I have been so foolish?
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,289 Eric, the reason we called you in here
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,251 is because it is <i>your</i> turn to be the school hallway monitor.
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,753 The hall monit-- Me?
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,755 You need to watch for bad behavior
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,924 and make sure anyone in the halls during class
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,051 has a hall pass, m'kay?
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,929 If anyone doesn't, you have the authority to bring them to me.
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:38,390 Auth... Authoritah?
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,434 Now, Eric, being the school hallway monitor
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,020 is a big responsibility, m'kay?
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,564 It is important that you take the job seriously
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,691 and that you don't abuse the power.
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,819 Me?
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,074 ♪ There's fear and darkness all around you ♪
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,119 ♪ The criminals are on the run ♪
00:01:58,244 --> 00:02:01,747 ♪ No use in not having your hall pass ♪
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,332 ♪ I'll take you to the principal ♪
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,000 ♪ 'Cause I'm The Dawg ♪
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,752 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,046 ♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,799 ♪ The hallway monitor ♪
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,428 Hey, kid, get out of there.
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:17,513 That's cool.
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,182 I'm done making my video anyways.
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,858 Hall pass! Show me your hall pass!
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,109 What?
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,194 You know what this is?!
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,655 This is the mace that they use on bears, faggot!
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,115 Now, let me see your hall pass!
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,533 It's right here!
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,869 All right. Cool, brah. Go with Christ.
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,121 What? You can't just push me up against the --
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,247 - Aah! - Aah!
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,916 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,043 ♪ The big, b-- ♪
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,296 Oh, my God.
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466 What the is this?!
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:58,721 And so this shape with <i>four</i> sides is what, class?
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,347 Kwhyah!
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,809 Ike Broflovski?! You littering my hallway, brah?!
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,269 What are you doing?
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,104 I found this in the hallway.
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,481 Apparently, your student Ike has a crush on you.
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,442 You got a crush on your teacher, brah?
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,776 Keep it out of my hallway.
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,777 Go with Christ.
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:14,778 Here you go.
00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:16,780 I don't think that's really necessary.
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,949 Hey, I don't tell you how to run your class.
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,076 Don't tell me how to run my hallway.
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,454 ♪ Ike has a crush on Teacher ♪
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,456 ♪ Ike has a crush on Tea-cher ♪
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,043 That's enough, class.
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,796 Okay. We'll see you tomorrow, everybody.
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:36,133 Ike, could you stay just a few minutes, please?
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,514 Ike, I'm very flattered by all of your love notes,
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,099 but I need to be clear.
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,019 There have been a lot of female teachers on the news lately
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479 who have been having relationships
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:52,900 with young male students, and... people might get the wrong idea.
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,694 Even though I do admire you.
00:03:55,819 --> 00:04:00,241 You are so smart and gifted, so mature for your age.
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,952 I don't like medicine.
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:07,081 You listen and you really care about what I have to say.
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:11,210 You make me feel things I've never felt before.
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,091 Ike, this is crazy.
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,592 I'm your teacher.
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,137 How can we be having these feelings for each other?
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,056 You're so mysterious.
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,474 And I can't...
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,768 And I can't...
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:34,108 ♪ And I can't fight this feeling anymore ♪
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:40,447 ♪ I've forgotten what I started fighting for ♪
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:44,910 ♪ And if I have to crawl upon the floor ♪
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,122 ♪ Come crashing through your door ♪
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:57,589 ♪ Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore ♪
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,973 That was unbelievable.
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,101 I've never felt like such a woman before.
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,978 They'll say our love is wrong.
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,356 But we can't let anybody know. They'll never understand.
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,900 We were meant to be. I know it.
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:20,279 How else could sex be that incredible?
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,825 Ike made a no-no.
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,417 ♪ Hey, there, Mr. Wiener, what do you know? ♪
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,918 ♪ Do you need to tinkle-tinkle? ♪
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,712 ♪ "Yes, I do think so!" ♪
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,713 Hands!
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,465 - Let me see those hands! - Aah!
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,383 Where's your pass?! Show me your hall pass, brah!
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,052 It's -- It's -- I just had it!
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,178 I knew it!
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,227 Look, brah, I had to bring you in,
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,271 but I don't have any hard feelings against you, all right?
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,939 - Huh? - Here. You need a smoke, brah?
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,107 Uh, okay.
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,653 You got to give yourself over to Christ, brah.
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,072 I do?
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,156 Jesus is Lord.
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,491 You can go one direction in life,
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,618 where you just walk around hallways without a hall pass,
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,161 or you can see the light, brah.
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,583 Kyle, I need you to go get your brother
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,335 - over at his teacher's house. - Huh?
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,669 Tell his teacher I'm sorry,
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,172 but I forgot that he has a doctor's appointment today.
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,965 What's he doing at his teacher's house?
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:25,260 He's been going there in the afternoons for private tutoring.
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,055 ♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,599 ♪ Afternoon delight ♪
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,854 - ♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪ - Hello?
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,689 Excuse me?
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,233 I'm here to pick up Ike.
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,693 ♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,779 Uh, hello? Is Ike here?
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,533 - ♪ Afternoon delight ♪ - Hello?
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,493 Oh, God! I'm sorry!
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,537 I didn't mean to -- I-I was looking for my brother!
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:55,833 Ike?
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,670 What the hell is going on?
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:03,173 Oh, what's the use, Ike? We're caught.
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,427 Hold on. Please! You don't understand!
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,470 Really? What's there not to understand?
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,807 Your brother and I... are in love.
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,643 He's a little young, don't you think?
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,186 Oh!
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,814 Ike is very mature for his age, and you know it.
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,858 Ring around the rosie!
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,193 He makes me feel like nobody else does.
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,028 He loves me and only me.
00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,864 And I know I am a goddess to him.
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,699 When we make love, he can give it to me hard
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,451 - or soft and gentle -- - All right!
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,827 We're getting the hell out of here.
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,579 Lo-la-Io-la-nah.
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,914 Ike, you can't possibly want this.
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,082 We have to tell Mom.
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,377 Ike!
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:44,006 Is it so hard to believe that true love exists?
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,676 This is nuts.
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,350 Mom, Dad, have you ever met Ike's kindergarten teacher?
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,021 Miss Stevenson? Yes. She's very nice.
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,231 Yeah. Well, she likes Ike a <i>whole</i> lot.
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,274 That's great.
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,651 Yeah, except it's maybe not perfectly great,
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,070 because to some degree, Ike and Miss Stevenson are having --
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,071 Spider-man!
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,115 I'm spaceman!
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,784 Yes, Ike. You like Spider-man, don't you?
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,247 Mom, there might be something that you should look into
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,832 about Ike staying after school all the time --
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,834 Waah! Punkin.
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,879 Mommy, I love you. I love you.
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,048 Mommy loves you, too, sweetie.
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,009 Would you excuse us for a second?
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,429 You can't just expect me to sit there and say nothing.
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,098 No, Ike. I'm supposed to be looking out for you -- What?
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,558 I wasn't gonna just blurt it out.
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,852 I was gonna use some tact, but you won't even let me -- what?
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,605 Nuh-unh! That's not fair, Ike.
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,818 Mom, I think maybe you should talk to Ike
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:47,903 about love and sex.
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,031 Sex? Oh, boubbie, Ike is much too young.
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,204 - You're so full of crap, Foley. - What?
00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,165 I <i>did</i> shoot him in the face -- twice!
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,292 Ex-- Excuse me?
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,503 My name is...Brad.
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,506 And I-I need to report a crime -- anonymously.
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,091 Oh? What's the crime?
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,051 Well, I attend South Park Elementary,
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:14,513 a-and one of the teachers is having sex with a student.
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,765 - Oh, my God! - Get a name!
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,642 - Did you hear what he said?! - This is terrible.
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,103 Y-You did the right thing telling the police, Brad.
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,021 Now, who is the teacher? What's his name?
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,898 Well, it isn't a guy teacher. It's a woman.
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,275 - A woman? - Yeah.
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,318 She's having sex with a boy.
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,237 Oh, but -- but she's ugly, right?
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,154 Well, no, not really.
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,823 It's the kindergarten teacher, Miss Stevenson.
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,575 - The blonde? - Yeah.
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,035 Some young boy is having sex with Miss Stevenson?
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,036 Yes.
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,247 Nice.
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,456 Nice.
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,333 What? No. You don't understand --
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,793 You sure they've had sex?
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,794 Yeah.
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,504 Has she performed oral sex on him?
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,339 I think so.
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,257 Nice.
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,383 Nice.
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,634 Nice.
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,595 So wait. W-What's the crime?
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,388 The crime is she isn't doing it with me.
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,183 Hey! He's totally underage!
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,810 She's taking advantage of him!
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,605 You're right. We're sorry. This <i>is</i> serious.
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,356 We need to track this student down
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,359 and give him his Luckiest Boy in America medal right away.
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,697 Aah!
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,829 Guys, can I talk to you?
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,830 Sure, dude.
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,749 I need you to keep quiet about this, all right?
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:24,833 My little brother and his te--
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,335 Brahs, it's almost class time,
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,420 I need you to start clearing the hallways, all right?
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,256 Not now, Cartman. I have really serious problems.
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,507 Dude, what's the matter?
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,092 The kindergarten teacher is having sex
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,886 with my little brother.
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,972 - Wow. - Mrph?
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,891 Damn, brah. Your little brother is pretty cool.
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,059 It's <i>not</i> cool.
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,602 Ike isn't old enough to understand!
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,603 What's to understand?
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,355 You get a boner, slap her titties around some,
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,774 and then stick it inside her and pee.
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,486 "Stick it inside her and pee."
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,988 Well, okay. Fine. Unless you don't want to get her pregnant.
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,823 Then you pull it out and pee on her leg.
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,158 Dude, I really don't see a problem.
00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,618 Yeah, I've got bigger things to deal with.
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,619 You guys don't understand!
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,454 His wacko teacher is like a schoolgirl.
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164 They pass notes to each other in the classroom.
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,791 They have sex at her house over lunch break,
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,877 and during class they sneak out and kiss in the hallways!
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:10,754 They what?
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,340 They sneak out during class and make out in the hallways.
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,508 Hang on a second.
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,052 Making out in the hallways is strictly against school policy.
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,304 - Well, they're doing it. - Yeah. Well, now it's personal.
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,972 The hallways are <i>my</i> jurisdiction.
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,808 If there's a hallway infraction going on,
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,352 they're gonna have to deal with The Dawg.
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,064 Okay. Just continue with your macaroni pictures.
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,316 Teacher has to step out for a second.
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,735 Uh, Ike, could you help me out, please?
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,197 Oh, Ike.
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,408 I just had to have a second alone with you.
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,368 I like baba better.
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,954 I got your love letter, and I wrote you one back.
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,915 Oh, just one kiss to hold me over for the rest of class.
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,918 Hall infraction!
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,629 Oh, uh, we were just heading back in.
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:53,797 You got a hall pass, brah?!
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,299 I don't need a hall pass. I'm a teacher.
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,759 Yeah? Well, where's <i>his</i> hall pass?
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,052 Look. Just let us get back in --
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,262 Get down on the floor!
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,847 We're going back inside!
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473 You like bear mace, ice head?!
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,683 Bear mace?!
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,309 You're going with Christ!
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,103 Aah!
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,522 And that's what I got, principal brah.
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,816 These two were in the hallways, making out.
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,651 She had those love letters on her person.
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,529 "Ike, I long to feel your arms around me"?
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,739 Miss Stevenson,
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,324 y-you're having a relationship with this student?
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,494 Yes. During class time, without a hall pass.
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,996 This is unbelievable.
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,999 I know. It's like a hall pass doesn't even matter to her.
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,169 Miss Stevenson, I <i>will</i> need to inform the police.
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,295 Oh, God.
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,006 You just dealt with The Dawg, bitch.
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,472 Sorry we have to do this, but the lady principal insisted.
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,348 What's going on?
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:48,018 The kindergarten teacher is suspected of having sex
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:49,019 with a student.
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,562 With a student?
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,564 But...she's a woman.
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,441 Yeah. I know.
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,319 But...she's hot.
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,988 Wow. I think I owe you one, Cartman.
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,116 You don't owe me anything. My hallways are clean.
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,833 Ike, I didn't tell on you.
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,668 You got busted by the hallway monitor.
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:16,880 Okay. Okay.
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,548 I did have something to do with it.
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,926 But someday you're gonna realize it was for the best.
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,095 You are dead to me.
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,639 What?
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:29,434 I said you're dead to me.
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,478 I'm dead to you?
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,564 You're dead to me, Kyle.
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,317 I'm at the police station.
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,027 They say they found some evidence.
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,529 I'm so scared!
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,449 Listen. I want you to know it's okay.
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,911 If anybody tries to talk to you, you don't need to say anything.
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:52,165 Just leave it to me. I know a way out of this.
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,710 Tom, an elementary school teacher is under arrest
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:59,381 for allegedly having an affair with one of her young students.
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,384 The case is shocking due mostly to the fact
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,095 that the teacher is pretty hot, Tom.
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,639 If the accusations are true, then...
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,765 Damn.
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,517 Uh, it looks like the defendant and her lawyer
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,018 are about to give a statement, Tom.
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,230 I am deeply sorry to announce
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,774 that the allegations against me are true.
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,401 Over the past several weeks,
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,820 I <i>have</i> been having physical relations
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,864 with one of my students.
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,575 Nice.
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,034 Nice.
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,913 I know my actions were wrong, but I can not be fully to blame.
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,542 You see...I am an alcoholic.
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,586 Ohh.
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,588 Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,506 - Oh, no! - What?
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,507 I don't believe it.
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,968 She's using the Mel Gibson defense.
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,763 I am a perfectly good person, but when I drink
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:53,059 the alcohol makes me say and do things I wouldn't normally do.
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,519 Well, that explains it.
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,062 Do we still press charges?
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,814 Who are we gonna convict -- Johnnie Walker?
00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,524 Poor woman. She's a victim.
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,776 Yeah. She's a hot victim.
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:06,364 My client has agreed to check herself into rehab immediately.
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,409 - Yeah! - Good luck, ma'am!
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,077 You <i>can</i> beat your alcoholism!
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:22,923 Alcohol is a crutch, which we use to medicate ourselves,
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051 to -- to cover up emotional baggage from our past.
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,554 Was there ever a history of sexual abuse in your family?
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,974 No, but my Uncle used to ask me and my twin sister to kiss
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,809 and he'd take pictures.
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,104 Nice.
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,690 Congratulations, Miss Stevenson.
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,193 All better now!
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,413 Ike!
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,707 Miss Stevenson!
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,543 Ike, we have to get out of here.
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,295 They'll never let us be together.
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,965 I think... I think we should go to Milan,
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,716 like we always talked about.
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,719 Yay! Milan!
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,306 Get your things together. We don't have much time.
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,646 Ike, you okay?
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,107 Ike?
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,567 Ike!
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,200 Are you sure you're not lying, Foley?
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,284 No! Really!
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,496 I shot both of them! They weren't even doin' nothing!
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,540 Help! Please! I need your help!
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,708 That teacher, Miss Stevenson,
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,501 she -- she's left town with my son!
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,628 I got a note saying they're going to Milan!
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,963 You're kidding.
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,548 - No! It's true! - Damn it!
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,467 Where were all these sexed-up teachers when <i>I</i> was a kid?!
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,011 This is serious!
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,972 Yeah. A boy is going to Milan with a beautiful older woman.
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598 Quick. Call the FBI.
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,768 Are you going to do nothing?!
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,854 All right. All right. We'll make a report.
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,439 Jesus.
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,192 There you are. What are doing?
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,610 You giving up, brah?
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,030 Dude, my brother's in Milan. There's nothing I can do.
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,156 No. They haven't left yet.
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,991 Their flight is tomorrow morning.
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,159 How do you know that?
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,661 I had Beth check out their Travelocity account.
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,747 - Who's Beth? - Beth is my bitch.
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,415 I've put a whole crew together, brah.
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,083 I'm gonna get that hallway-defiling slut
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,084 no matter what it takes.
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,003 Are you in?
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,799 ♪ I got some bad-ass guys to help me ♪
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:33,011 ♪ I only had to pay them 15 bucks ♪
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,598 ♪ You think you got away with not having a hall pass ♪
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,643 ♪ You won't get away from me, 'cause I'm The Dawg ♪
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,103 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,230 ♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,191 Think you can get away with not having a hall pass?
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,525 Think again.
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,153 How was that, Butters?
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,405 That was pretty good!
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,032 Can we get going now, please?
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,533 Yep. We're all done with the video.
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:56,701 Let's move out!
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,208 Ike, is that all you're gonna do is watch TV?
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,960 I love TV. Yay!
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,670 But what about me?
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,006 I want to talk.
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,968 Everyone get a good look at our fugitive.
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,678 I want her taken down fast and clean.
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:16,679 She ran away.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,100 Now she got to deal with The Dawg, huh?
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,228 Beth found out they have a room at the Airport Hilton.
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,854 We need to search it.
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:25,855 Here's the hotel!
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,108 Beth, tell Leeroy to pull up here.
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,070 All right! Let's go! Move out!
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,905 Hey. You can't leave your car there.
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,032 It's okay. I'm a hallway monitor.
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,535 Keep separation. Leeroy, check out our 20.
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,661 Can I help you?
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,830 You seen this woman, brah? She's staying here.
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,206 Who are you?
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,707 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,668 ♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,420 I think you should leave before I call the police.
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,880 Beth, bear-mace that guy!
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,340 Aah!
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,508 Let's check out the rooms!
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,885 Leeroy and Kyle, go that way! Beth, you come with me!
00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,763 We need police here right away!
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,350 Yes?
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,227 I'm looking for this teacher. She in your room, brah?
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,104 Do you mind keeping it down?
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,397 Keep your mouth shut, brah!
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,571 Oh, no. Ike, they're onto us!
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,197 Oh, no!
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,700 Hurry, darling. We have to get out of here.
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,742 What have we got?! What have we got?!
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,579 - Who called 911? - They went that way!
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,831 Look out! They have bear mace!
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,251 Open up! I'm with The Dawg!
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,377 Oh, crap!
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,796 You freeze right there!
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,884 Come on, darling.
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,302 Hey!
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,471 I got 'em, Dawg. Fifth floor.
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,056 Praise Christ! Let's go!
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,766 Ike, run!
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,770 Beth, bear-mace that guy! And that guy!
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,106 - Aah! - Aah! Aah!
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,196 Freeze, bitch!
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,488 - Freeze! - Hands up! Hands up!
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,907 Don't move! Don't move!
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,326 It's all right. There's been a misunderstanding.
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,161 I'm a hall monitor.
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,164 This fugitive is trying to avoid a hallway infraction
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,790 by skipping off to Milan.
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:11,669 Hey, that <i>is</i> the teacher we just got the report about.
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,922 All right, Miss Stevenson. You've got nowhere to go.
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132 Why couldn't you just leave us alone?
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,551 - All we wanted was to love. - Get down!
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,095 We can do this the easy way or we can do it Dawg style.
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,391 She got a scarf on her head, huh?
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:29,437 It's all over, Ike -- Milan, the house in Tuscany.
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,356 They'll never let us be together.
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,359 We have to go with the backup plan.
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,656 Now, hold on. Don't do anything foolish.
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,449 We can talk about this.
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,077 You can't accept our love,
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:47,038 so then we can only be together in eternity.
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,374 No! Ike, don't do it.
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,126 Dinosaur funny bad bad.
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586 Ike, please.
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,005 I know your first love seems like the only love.
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,507 But trust me, it's not.
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,175 You have so much life ahead of you.
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,681 You, who don't believe in true love, don't understand.
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,557 Ike, you need to have a life.
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:07,725 Have fun.
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,019 <i>Then</i> ruin it by having a serious relationship.
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,274 I'm afraid you're too late.
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,901 Are you ready, my love? Here we go.
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,778 One! Two! Three!
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,030 Aah!
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,407 Ike?
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,786 Yay!
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,371 Ike!
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,292 Well, looks like once again The Dawg has prevailed.
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,626 I hope you've learned, kids,
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,128 that if you don't go with Christ,
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879 you could end up just like that splattered bitch
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,047 down on the pavement.
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,341 Hey, kid, you need to get off the roof now.
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,261 That's cool. I'm done making my video anyways.

00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:12,013 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,362 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:32,992 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,287 [ Bell rings ]
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,165 And so then I put my finger up my butthole, right?
00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,708 And I walked up to Kelly Nelson,
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,376 and I said, "Do you smell lemongrass?"
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,045 And she smelled my finger and puked!
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,380 [ Laughs ] Oh, God. You should have been there.
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,341 Eric, I have to take you to the principal's office.
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,217 What?
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,344 I didn't do it. Kelly Nelson's a liar!
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,638 I've been instructed to bring you to the principal's office.
00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,475 Oh, suck my balls, you ginger Jew-rat hall monitor.
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,517 Punk-ass stoolie.
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,019 Who the [bleep] do you think you are?
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,020 I'm just doing my job.
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,354 [ Mockingly ] "I'm just da-da-da-da!"
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,773 You know why you're a hallway monitor?
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,232 Because you don't have any friends.
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,651 You should kill yourself. You should kill yourself!
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:08,986 PRINCIPAL VICTORIA: Eric Cartman,
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,696 report to the principal's office immediately.
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,698 Aw, God damn it!
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,325 - [ Knock on door ] - Come on in, Eric.
00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,869 I'm sorry, Principal Victoria. I didn't mean to do it.
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,412 How could I have been so foolish?
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,289 Eric, the reason we called you in here
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,251 is because it is <i>your</i> turn to be the school hallway monitor.
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,753 The hall monit-- Me?
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,755 You need to watch for bad behavior
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,924 and make sure anyone in the halls during class
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,051 has a hall pass, m'kay?
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,929 If anyone doesn't, you have the authority to bring them to me.
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:38,390 Auth... Authoritah?
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,434 Now, Eric, being the school hallway monitor
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,020 is a big responsibility, m'kay?
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,564 It is important that you take the job seriously
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,691 and that you don't abuse the power.
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,819 Me?
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,570 [ Rock music plays ]
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,074 CARTMAN: ♪ There's fear and darkness all around you ♪
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,119 ♪ The criminals are on the run ♪
00:01:58,244 --> 00:02:01,747 ♪ No use in not having your hall pass ♪
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,332 ♪ I'll take you to the principal ♪
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,000 ♪ 'Cause I'm The Dawg ♪
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,752 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,046 ♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,799 ♪ The hallway monitor ♪
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,677 - [ Laughs ] - [ Tapping ]
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,428 Hey, kid, get out of there.
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:17,513 That's cool.
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,182 I'm done making my video anyways.
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,477 [ Music continues ]
00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,858 Hall pass! Show me your hall pass!
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,109 What?
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,110 [ Grunts ]
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,194 You know what this is?!
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,655 This is the mace that they use on bears, faggot!
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,115 Now, let me see your hall pass!
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,533 It's right here!
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,869 All right. Cool, brah. Go with Christ.
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,121 What? You can't just push me up against the --
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,247 - Aah! - Aah!
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,916 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,043 ♪ The big, b-- ♪
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,296 Oh, my God.
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,173 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466 What the [bleep] is this?!
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:58,721 And so this shape with <i>four</i> sides is what, class?
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,347 Kwhyah!
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,809 Ike Broflovski?! You littering my hallway, brah?!
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,269 What are you doing?
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,104 I found this in the hallway.
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,481 Apparently, your student Ike has a crush on you.
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,442 You got a crush on your teacher, brah?
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,776 Keep it out of my hallway.
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,777 Go with Christ.
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:14,778 Here you go.
00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:16,780 I don't think that's really necessary.
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,949 Hey, I don't tell you how to run your class.
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,076 Don't tell me how to run my hallway.
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,454 ♪ Ike has a crush on Teacher ♪
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,456 ALL: ♪ Ike has a crush on Tea-cher ♪
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,832 [ Laughter ]
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,043 That's enough, class.
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:30,085 [ Bell rings ]
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,796 Okay. We'll see you tomorrow, everybody.
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:36,133 Ike, could you stay just a few minutes, please?
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,514 Ike, I'm very flattered by all of your love notes,
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,099 but I need to be clear.
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,019 There have been a lot of female teachers on the news lately
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479 who have been having relationships
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:52,900 with young male students, and... people might get the wrong idea.
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,694 Even though I do admire you.
00:03:55,819 --> 00:04:00,241 You are so smart and gifted, so mature for your age.
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,952 I don't like medicine.
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:07,081 You listen and you really care about what I have to say.
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:11,210 You make me feel things I've never felt before.
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,091 Ike, this is crazy.
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,592 I'm your teacher.
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,137 How can we be having these feelings for each other?
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,056 You're so mysterious.
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,474 And I can't...
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,768 And I can't...
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:34,108 ♪ And I can't fight this feeling anymore ♪
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:40,447 ♪ I've forgotten what I started fighting for ♪
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:44,910 ♪ And if I have to crawl upon the floor ♪
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,122 ♪ Come crashing through your door ♪
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:57,589 ♪ Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore ♪
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,973 That was unbelievable.
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,101 I've never felt like such a woman before.
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,978 They'll say our love is wrong.
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,356 But we can't let anybody know. They'll never understand.
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,900 We were meant to be. I know it.
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:20,279 How else could sex be that incredible?
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,825 Ike made a no-no.
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,622 [ Zipper opens ]
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,417 ♪ Hey, there, Mr. Wiener, what do you know? ♪
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,918 ♪ Do you need to tinkle-tinkle? ♪
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,712 ♪ "Yes, I do think so!" ♪
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,713 Hands!
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,465 - Let me see those hands! - Aah!
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,383 Where's your pass?! Show me your hall pass, brah!
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,052 It's -- It's -- I just had it!
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,178 I knew it!
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,097 [ Grunting ]
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,766 [ Handcuffs click ]
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,227 Look, brah, I had to bring you in,
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,271 but I don't have any hard feelings against you, all right?
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,939 - Huh? - Here. You need a smoke, brah?
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,107 Uh, okay.
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,653 You got to give yourself over to Christ, brah.
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,072 I do? [ Coughs ]
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,156 Jesus is Lord.
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,491 You can go one direction in life,
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,618 where you just walk around hallways without a hall pass,
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,161 or you can see the light, brah.
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,287 [ Coughs ]
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,583 Kyle, I need you to go get your brother
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,335 - over at his teacher's house. - Huh?
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,669 Tell his teacher I'm sorry,
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,172 but I forgot that he has a doctor's appointment today.
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,965 What's he doing at his teacher's house?
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:25,260 He's been going there in the afternoons for private tutoring.
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,055 ♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,599 ♪ Afternoon delight ♪
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,854 - ♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪ - Hello?
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,689 Excuse me?
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,233 I'm here to pick up Ike.
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,693 ♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,779 Uh, hello? Is Ike here?
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,739 [ Woman laughing ]
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,533 - ♪ Afternoon delight ♪ - Hello?
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,493 - [ Screams ] - Oh, God! I'm sorry!
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,537 I didn't mean to -- I-I was looking for my brother!
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:55,833 Ike?
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,670 What the hell is going on?
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:03,173 Oh, what's the use, Ike? We're caught.
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,427 Hold on. Please! You don't understand!
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,470 Really? What's there not to understand?
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,807 Your brother and I... are in love.
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,643 He's a little young, don't you think?
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,186 Oh!
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,814 Ike is very mature for his age, and you know it.
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,858 Ring around the rosie!
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,193 He makes me feel like nobody else does.
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,028 He loves me and only me.
00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,864 And I know I am a goddess to him.
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,699 When we make love, he can give it to me hard
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,451 - or soft and gentle -- - All right!
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,827 We're getting the hell out of here.
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,579 [ Whining ] Lo-la-Io-la-nah.
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,914 Ike, you can't possibly want this.
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,082 We have to tell Mom.
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,334 [ Sobs ]
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,377 Ike!
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:44,006 Is it so hard to believe that true love exists?
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,676 This is nuts.
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,350 Mom, Dad, have you ever met Ike's kindergarten teacher?
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,021 Miss Stevenson? Yes. She's very nice.
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,231 Yeah. Well, she likes Ike a <i>whole</i> lot.
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,274 That's great.
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,651 Yeah, except it's maybe not perfectly great,
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,070 because to some degree, Ike and Miss Stevenson are having --
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,071 Spider-man!
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,115 I'm spaceman!
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,784 Yes, Ike. You like Spider-man, don't you?
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,247 Mom, there might be something that you should look into
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,832 about Ike staying after school all the time --
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,834 Waah! Punkin.
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,879 Mommy, I love you. I love you.
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,048 Mommy loves you, too, sweetie.
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,009 Would you excuse us for a second?
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,429 You can't just expect me to sit there and say nothing.
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,098 No, Ike. I'm supposed to be looking out for you -- What?
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,558 I wasn't gonna just blurt it out.
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,852 I was gonna use some tact, but you won't even let me -- what?
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,605 Nuh-unh! That's not fair, Ike.
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,818 Mom, I think maybe you should talk to Ike
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:47,903 about love and sex.
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,031 Sex? Oh, boubbie, Ike is much too young.
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,204 - You're so full of crap, Foley. - What?
00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,165 I <i>did</i> shoot him in the face -- twice!
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,292 Ex-- Excuse me?
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,503 My name is...Brad.
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,506 And I-I need to report a crime -- anonymously.
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,091 Oh? What's the crime?
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,051 Well, I attend South Park Elementary,
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:14,513 a-and one of the teachers is having sex with a student.
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,765 - Oh, my God! - Get a name!
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,642 - Did you hear what he said?! - This is terrible.
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,103 Y-You did the right thing telling the police, Brad.
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,021 Now, who is the teacher? What's his name?
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,898 Well, it isn't a guy teacher. It's a woman.
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,275 - A woman? - Yeah.
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,318 She's having sex with a boy.
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,237 Oh, but -- but she's ugly, right?
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,154 Well, no, not really.
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,823 It's the kindergarten teacher, Miss Stevenson.
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,575 - The blonde? - Yeah.
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,035 Some young boy is having sex with Miss Stevenson?
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,036 Yes.
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,247 Nice.
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,456 Nice.
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,333 What? No. You don't understand --
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,793 You sure they've had sex?
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,794 Yeah.
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,504 Has she performed oral sex on him?
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,339 I think so.
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,257 Nice.
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,383 Nice.
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,634 Nice.
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,595 So wait. W-What's the crime?
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,388 The crime is she isn't doing it with me.
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,307 [ Laughter ]
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,183 Hey! He's totally underage!
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,810 She's taking advantage of him!
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,605 You're right. We're sorry. This <i>is</i> serious.
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,356 We need to track this student down
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,359 and give him his Luckiest Boy in America medal right away.
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,820 [ Laughter ]
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,697 Aah!
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,159 [ Bell rings ]
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,829 Guys, can I talk to you?
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,830 Sure, dude.
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,749 I need you to keep quiet about this, all right?
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:24,833 My little brother and his te--
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,335 Brahs, it's almost class time,
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,420 I need you to start clearing the hallways, all right?
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,256 Not now, Cartman. I have really serious problems.
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,507 Dude, what's the matter?
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,092 The kindergarten teacher is having sex
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,886 with my little brother.
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,972 - Wow. - Mrph?
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,891 Damn, brah. Your little brother is pretty cool.
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,059 It's <i>not</i> cool.
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,602 Ike isn't old enough to understand!
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,603 What's to understand?
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,355 You get a boner, slap her titties around some,
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,774 and then stick it inside her and pee.
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,486 "Stick it inside her and pee."
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,988 Well, okay. Fine. Unless you don't want to get her pregnant.
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,823 Then you pull it out and pee on her leg.
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,158 Dude, I really don't see a problem.
00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,618 Yeah, I've got bigger things to deal with.
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,619 You guys don't understand!
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,454 His wacko teacher is like a schoolgirl.
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164 They pass notes to each other in the classroom.
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,791 They have sex at her house over lunch break,
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,877 and during class they sneak out and kiss in the hallways!
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:10,754 They what?
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,340 They sneak out during class and make out in the hallways.
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,508 Hang on a second.
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,052 Making out in the hallways is strictly against school policy.
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,304 - Well, they're doing it. - Yeah. Well, now it's personal.
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,972 The hallways are <i>my</i> jurisdiction.
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,808 If there's a hallway infraction going on,
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,352 they're gonna have to deal with The Dawg.
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,064 Okay. Just continue with your macaroni pictures.
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,316 Teacher has to step out for a second.
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,735 Uh, Ike, could you help me out, please?
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,197 Oh, Ike.
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,408 I just had to have a second alone with you.
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,368 I like baba better.
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,954 I got your love letter, and I wrote you one back.
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,915 Oh, just one kiss to hold me over for the rest of class.
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,918 Hall infraction!
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,629 Oh, uh, we were just heading back in.
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:53,797 You got a hall pass, brah?!
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,299 I don't need a hall pass. I'm a teacher.
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,759 Yeah? Well, where's <i>his</i> hall pass?
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,052 Look. Just let us get back in --
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,262 Get down on the floor!
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,847 We're going back inside!
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473 You like bear mace, ice head?!
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,683 Bear mace?!
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,309 You're going with Christ!
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,103 Aah!
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,522 And that's what I got, principal brah.
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,816 These two were in the hallways, making out.
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,651 She had those love letters on her person.
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,529 "Ike, I long to feel your arms around me"?
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,739 Miss Stevenson,
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,324 y-you're having a relationship with this student?
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,494 Yes. During class time, without a hall pass.
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,996 This is unbelievable.
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,999 I know. It's like a hall pass doesn't even matter to her.
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,169 Miss Stevenson, I <i>will</i> need to inform the police.
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,295 Oh, God.
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,006 You just dealt with The Dawg, bitch.
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,841 [ Sirens wailing ]
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,259 [ Shutters clicking ]
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,472 Sorry we have to do this, but the lady principal insisted.
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,348 What's going on?
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:48,018 The kindergarten teacher is suspected of having sex
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:49,019 with a student.
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,562 With a student?
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,564 But...she's a woman.
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,441 Yeah. I know.
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,319 But...she's hot.
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,988 Wow. I think I owe you one, Cartman.
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,116 You don't owe me anything. My hallways are clean.
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,833 Ike, I didn't tell on you.
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,668 You got busted by the hallway monitor.
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:16,880 Okay. Okay.
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,548 I did have something to do with it.
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,926 But someday you're gonna realize it was for the best.
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,095 You are dead to me.
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,639 What?
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:29,434 I said you're dead to me.
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,478 I'm dead to you?
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,564 You're dead to me, Kyle.
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,317 I'm at the police station.
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,027 They say they found some evidence.
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,529 I'm so scared!
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,449 Listen. I want you to know it's okay.
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,911 If anybody tries to talk to you, you don't need to say anything.
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:52,165 Just leave it to me. I know a way out of this.
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,710 Tom, an elementary school teacher is under arrest
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:59,381 for allegedly having an affair with one of her young students.
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,384 The case is shocking due mostly to the fact
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,095 that the teacher is pretty hot, Tom.
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,639 If the accusations are true, then...
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,765 Damn.
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,517 Uh, it looks like the defendant and her lawyer
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,018 are about to give a statement, Tom.
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,230 I am deeply sorry to announce
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,774 that the allegations against me are true.
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,401 Over the past several weeks,
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,820 I <i>have</i> been having physical relations
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,864 with one of my students.
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,575 Nice.
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,034 Nice.
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,913 I know my actions were wrong, but I can not be fully to blame.
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,542 You see...I am an alcoholic.
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,586 Ohh.
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,588 Yes, I'm afraid it's true.
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,506 - Oh, no! - What?
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,507 I don't believe it.
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,968 She's using the Mel Gibson defense.
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,763 I am a perfectly good person, but when I drink
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:53,059 the alcohol makes me say and do things I wouldn't normally do.
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,519 Well, that explains it.
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,062 Do we still press charges?
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,814 Who are we gonna convict -- Johnnie Walker?
00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,524 Poor woman. She's a victim.
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,776 Yeah. She's a hot victim.
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:06,364 My client has agreed to check herself into rehab immediately.
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,699 [ Cheers and applause ]
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,409 - Yeah! - Good luck, ma'am!
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,077 You <i>can</i> beat your alcoholism!
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,704 [ Cheers and applause ]
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,707 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:22,923 Alcohol is a crutch, which we use to medicate ourselves,
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051 to -- to cover up emotional baggage from our past.
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,554 Was there ever a history of sexual abuse in your family?
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,974 No, but my Uncle used to ask me and my twin sister to kiss
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,809 and he'd take pictures.
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,104 Nice.
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,690 Congratulations, Miss Stevenson.
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,193 All better now!
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,905 [ Engine starts ]
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,032 [ Music continues ]
00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,413 Ike!
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,707 Miss Stevenson!
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,543 Ike, we have to get out of here.
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,295 They'll never let us be together.
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,965 I think... I think we should go to Milan,
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,716 like we always talked about.
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,719 Yay! Milan!
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,306 Get your things together. We don't have much time.
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,519 [ Banging ]
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,646 Ike, you okay?
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,107 - [ Dramatic music plays ] - Ike?
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,567 Ike!
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,200 Are you sure you're not lying, Foley?
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,284 No! Really!
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,496 I shot both of them! They weren't even doin' nothing!
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,540 Help! Please! I need your help!
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,708 That teacher, Miss Stevenson,
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,501 she -- she's left town with my son!
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,628 I got a note saying they're going to Milan!
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,963 You're kidding.
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,548 - No! It's true! - Damn it!
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,467 Where were all these sexed-up teachers when <i>I</i> was a kid?!
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,011 This is serious!
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,972 Yeah. A boy is going to Milan with a beautiful older woman.
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598 Quick. Call the FBI.
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,267 [ Laughter ]
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,768 Are you going to do nothing?!
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,854 All right. All right. We'll make a report.
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,439 Jesus.
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,192 There you are. What are doing?
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,610 You giving up, brah?
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,030 Dude, my brother's in Milan. There's nothing I can do.
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,156 No. They haven't left yet.
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,991 Their flight is tomorrow morning.
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,159 How do you know that?
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,661 I had Beth check out their Travelocity account.
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,747 - Who's Beth? - Beth is my bitch.
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,415 I've put a whole crew together, brah.
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,083 I'm gonna get that hallway-defiling slut
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,084 no matter what it takes.
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,003 Are you in?
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,297 [ Rock music plays ]
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,799 CARTMAN: ♪ I got some bad-ass guys to help me ♪
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:33,011 ♪ I only had to pay them 15 bucks ♪
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,598 ♪ You think you got away with not having a hall pass ♪
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,643 ♪ You won't get away from me, 'cause I'm The Dawg ♪
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,103 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,230 ♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,191 Think you can get away with not having a hall pass?
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,525 Think again.
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,153 How was that, Butters?
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,405 That was pretty good!
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,032 Can we get going now, please?
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,533 Yep. We're all done with the video.
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:56,701 Let's move out!
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,208 Ike, is that all you're gonna do is watch TV?
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,960 I love TV. Yay!
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,670 But what about me?
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,006 I want to talk.
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,217 [ Laughter on television ]
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,968 Everyone get a good look at our fugitive.
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,678 I want her taken down fast and clean.
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:16,679 She ran away.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,100 Now she got to deal with The Dawg, huh?
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,228 Beth found out they have a room at the Airport Hilton.
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,854 We need to search it.
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:25,855 Here's the hotel!
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,108 Beth, tell Leeroy to pull up here.
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,318 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,070 All right! Let's go! Move out!
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,905 Hey. You can't leave your car there.
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,032 It's okay. I'm a hallway monitor.
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,535 Keep separation. Leeroy, check out our 20.
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,661 Can I help you?
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,830 You seen this woman, brah? She's staying here.
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,206 Who are you?
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,707 ♪ I am The Dawg ♪
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,668 ♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,420 I think you should leave before I call the police.
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,880 Beth, bear-mace that guy!
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,340 Aah!
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,508 Let's check out the rooms!
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,885 Leeroy and Kyle, go that way! Beth, you come with me!
00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,763 We need police here right away!
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,350 Yes?
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,227 I'm looking for this teacher. She in your room, brah?
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,104 Do you mind keeping it down?
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,397 Keep your mouth shut, brah!
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,816 [ Sirens wailing ]
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,571 Oh, no. Ike, they're onto us!
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,197 Oh, no!
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,700 Hurry, darling. We have to get out of here.
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,742 What have we got?! What have we got?!
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,579 - Who called 911? - They went that way!
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,831 Look out! They have bear mace!
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,251 Open up! I'm with The Dawg!
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,377 Oh, crap!
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,796 - You freeze right there! - [ Gun cocks ]
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,884 Come on, darling.
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,302 Hey!
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,471 I got 'em, Dawg. Fifth floor.
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,056 Praise Christ! Let's go!
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,766 Ike, run!
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,560 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,770 Beth, bear-mace that guy! And that guy!
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,106 - Aah! - Aah! Aah!
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,196 Freeze, bitch!
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,488 - Freeze! - Hands up! Hands up!
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,907 Don't move! Don't move!
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,326 It's all right. There's been a misunderstanding.
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,161 I'm a hall monitor.
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,164 This fugitive is trying to avoid a hallway infraction
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,790 by skipping off to Milan.
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:11,669 Hey, that <i>is</i> the teacher we just got the report about.
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,922 All right, Miss Stevenson. You've got nowhere to go.
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132 Why couldn't you just leave us alone?
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,551 - All we wanted was to love. - Get down!
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,095 We can do this the easy way or we can do it Dawg style.
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,391 She got a scarf on her head, huh?
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:29,437 It's all over, Ike -- Milan, the house in Tuscany.
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,356 They'll never let us be together.
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,359 We have to go with the backup plan.
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,656 Now, hold on. Don't do anything foolish.
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,449 We can talk about this.
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,077 You can't accept our love,
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:47,038 so then we can only be together in eternity.
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,374 No! Ike, don't do it.
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,126 Dinosaur funny bad bad.
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586 Ike, please.
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,005 I know your first love seems like the only love.
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,507 But trust me, it's not.
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,175 You have so much life ahead of you.
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,681 You, who don't believe in true love, don't understand.
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,557 Ike, you need to have a life.
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:07,725 Have fun.
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,019 <i>Then</i> ruin it by having a serious relationship.
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,063 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,274 I'm afraid you're too late.
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,901 Are you ready, my love? Here we go.
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,778 One! Two! Three!
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,030 Aah!
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,407 Ike?
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,786 Yay!
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,371 Ike!
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,292 Well, looks like once again The Dawg has prevailed.
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,626 I hope you've learned, kids,
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,128 that if you don't go with Christ,
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879 you could end up just like that splattered bitch
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,047 down on the pavement.
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,341 Hey, kid, you need to get off the roof now.
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,261 That's cool. I'm done making my video anyways.
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,929 [ Static ]

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