Учительница соблазняет мальчика

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transcript- Я@R

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South.Park.S10E10.DSR.XviD-NoTV

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и потом я засунул мой палец себе в жопу, так?

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потом подошел к Келли Нельсон,

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сказал:"чувcтвуеш как пахнет лимонная трава?"

и она занюхала мой палец и блюванула, прикольно!

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ох парни, вам стоило бы это увидеть.

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Эрик я должен отвести тебя в кабинет директора

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Что? Я этого не делал.

Келли Нельсон врунья!

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Мне сказали отвести тебя в кабинет директора.

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Да, пососи мои яйца,

ты рыже-еврейский коридорный смотритель!

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рвотный стукач, да кто ты ебать такой?

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Я всего лишь делаю мою работу.

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Я всего бла бла бла...

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Знаешь почему ты коридорный смотритель?

потому что у тебя нет друзей.

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Тебе следует покончить с собой!

Тебе следует покончить с собой!

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Эрик Картмен явитесь,

в кабинет директора немедленно

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Черт подери!

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Входи Эрик.

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Мне очень жаль директор Виктория,

Я не хотел этого делать,

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как я мог быть та глуп?

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Эрик, причина по которой мы позвали тебя сюда

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это то что пришла твоя очередь

тебе быть Коридорным Смотрителем.

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Коридорным...Я?

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Тебе следует следить за плохим поведением

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и контролировать чтобы те кто не в классе

имели "разрешение", ок?

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Если кто-то не подчиняется

твоей власти приведи его ко мне.

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Власти?...

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Так Эрик, быть Школьным Коридорным

это большая ответственность, ок?

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И важно, чтобы ты подошел к работе серьезно,

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и не превышай полномочия.

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Кх, Я?

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Сирены пищат вокруг

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Преступники в бегах

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И если я вижу тебя без "разрешения"

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Я отведу тебя в директору

тк Я - Мужик!

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Я - Мужик

Я большой плохой мужик

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Коридорный смотритель

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Эй парень, а ну вылась от сюда!

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Ну круто,

я все равно уже закончил снимать свое видео.

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"Разрешение"!!!

Покажи мне твое "Разрешение"!!!

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что?

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Ты знаешь, что это такое?

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это средство которое используют

для усмерения медведей, пидрило!

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А теперь покажи мне твое "разрешение"!

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Вот оно!

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Отлично, братан. Иди с миром!

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Что? Ты не можешь просто так толкнуть меня ....

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Я Мужик, Плохой мужик...

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О боже мой!

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Что это за Еб*тьня?

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Это форма имеет четыре стороны,

и называется... как класс?

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Айк Брофловский,

ты засоряешь мой коридор, братан!

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Что ты делаешь?

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Я нашел Это на проходе.

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Похоже ваш ученик Айк Втрескался в вас

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Втюрился в свою учительницу,

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не разбрасывай у меня это на проходе, брат!

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Ступай с миром.

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- Держите.

- Я не считаю, что это необходимо.

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Эй, Я не учу вас преподавать,

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не учите меня присматривать за Коридором!

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АЙК ВТЮРИЛСЯ В УЧИЛКУ!!!

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Достаточно класс!

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Ну, увидимся завтра...

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Айк, не мог бы ты задержаться на минутку?

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Айк, мне очень жаль,

что все узнали о твоей любовной записке

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Но я должна быть с тобой честна,

Я видела большое количество

женщин-учителей в новостях

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у кого были отнашения с юнными учиниками.

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И у людей возникает неправильное мнение.

хотя, я восхищаюсь тобой

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Ты такой сообразительный и одаренный,

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такой зрелый для своего возраста.

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-Я не любля Масонов

Ты слушаешь, и тебе есть дело,

что я хочу сказать.

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Ты заставляешь меня чувствовать вещи,

которые я раньше не чувствовала.

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Айк, это безумие...

Я твоя учительница...

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Как мы можем иметь такие

чувства друг к другу?

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Ты такой загадочный и я не могу... я не могу...

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... и я не могу больше побороть эти чувства...

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Я забыл за что я начал боротся

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если я буду ползать по полу,

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разбившись об твою дверь,

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детка, я не могу больше побороть эти чувства...

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Это было невероятно,

Я раньше не чувствовала себя женщиной настолько глубоко!

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скажут что наша любовь это не правильно,

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но мы не можем допустить чтобы кто-нибудь узнал,

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они никогда не поймут.

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Мы нечтожны, я знаю.

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Но как секс может быть таким потрясным?

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Айк занимался любовью.

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Эй мистер сосиска, ты знаешь что ?

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хочешь ли по-маленькому, да наверно?

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РУКИ! Покажи мне свои руки!

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Где твое "разрешение", покажи мне его!

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Оно... оно...

оно только что было у меня!

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Так и знал!

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Послушай, братан,

Я должен был привести тебя сюда

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Я не имею никакой неприязни к тебе, ok?

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- Эй, Закурить?

- ... ok.

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- Тебе надо держаться пути Хреста, брат!

- Я держусь.

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господь всемогущий,

ты можешь жить стандартную жизнь

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или ходить по коридорам туду сюда

или ты можешь увидеть свет!

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Кайл, мне надо чтобы ты забрал

Айка из дома его учительницы.

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Скажи учительнице, что мне жаль,

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но я забыла что сегодня день,

когда доктор прихоит

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что он делает у учителя дома?

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он пошел к ней сегодня на частную тренировку

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Здрасте?

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Извините,?

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я здесь чтобы забрать Айка.

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ЭЭЭЙ ? Айк здесь?

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Алло?

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О, боже!

Простите, Я не имел...

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я просто ищу своего брата!

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Айк?!

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Что за черт тут происходит?

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Все пропало, Айк. Нас застукали.

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Подождите, вы не понимаете!

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Серьезно?! Что именно не понимаю?

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Твой брат и я Влюблены

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Вам не кажется что он немного молод?

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нет!

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Айк на много зрелее своего возраста,

и ты это знаешь

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Он делает меня счастливой, как никто не делал,

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он любит меня и только меня!

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И я знаю, что только с ним я богиня.

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когда мы занимаемся любовью

он то жестко, то нежно...

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Все, мы уберемся от сюда!

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Айк, ты не можешь хотеть этого.

мы должны рассказать об этом Маме!

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Айк?!

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Так трудно поверить

что реальная любовь существует?

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Это сумасшествие!

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Мам, Пап, вы когда-нибудь

встречались с учительницой Айка?

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Мисс Стивенсон, да, она очень милая.

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Да, она любит Айка, очень сильно!

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- Это здорово.

- Нда, только это не до конца здорово.

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Потому, что у Айка и Мисс Стивенсон ...

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- СПАЙДЕРМЭН!

- Да, Айк, ты любишь человека-паука?

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Мам, тебе следует обратить внимание

чем занимается Айк после школы...

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МАМА, я люблю, люблю тебя.

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мама тебя тоже любит, милый

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Извините нас, мы на секунду

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Ты не можешь объяснить мне...

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что...нет Айк...

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я полагаю тебе...так не честно Айк...

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Мам, я думаю, ты должна

поговорить с Айком о любви и сексе.

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Секс? оу пупочка, Айк еще слишком мал

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Ты полон дерьма, Фоли!

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А что, Я выстрелил ему в лицо, дважды!

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из-извините

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меня зовут Брэт.

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я хочу сообщить об преступлении, анонимно.

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Ну, в чем преступление?

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Я учусь в средней школе Саут Парка,

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и один из учителей

занимается сексом с учеником

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О, боже!!!

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Слышал, что он сказал!

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Ужас!!!

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Ты правильно сделал что обратился в полицию, Брэт.

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Что за учитель, как его имя?

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Это не мужик, это женщина

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Женщина???

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Да, и она занимается сексом с мальчиком.

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но она страшная, так?

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Да, не совсем.

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Это училка начальных классов,

Мисс Стивенсон

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- Блондинка?

- Ага

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Итак, какой-то юнец

занимается сексом с Мисс Стивенсон?

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ДА

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Милоооо

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что?? нет, Вы не понимаете

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Ты уверен, что у них был секс?

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- Дааа!

- А перед этим она

занималась с ним оральным сексом?

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Мне так кажеться.

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Мило

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Милоо

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Милооо

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Итак, в чем преступление???

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Преступление, что она не делает этого со мной.

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Эй, ему всего Шесть,

она пользуется им.

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Ну да, нам жаль. это серьезно.

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мы должны поймать этого ученика,

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и вручить ему медаль "Американский счастливчик"!

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- Парни, могу я с вами поговорить?

- конечно чувак !

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Мне нужно чтобы вы молчали об этом, ок?

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- мой младший братец...

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же почти время урока, нужно очистить коридор!

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Не сейчас, Картмен.

У меня серьезные проблемы.

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Чувак, в чем дело?

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Учительница младших классов

занимается Сексом с мои младшим братом

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- Вау!?

- Черт, братан, твой младший братец, реально крут.

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Это не круто. Айк всего не понимает!

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а, что понимать?

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Делаешь стояк,

шлепаешь ее по сиськам

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и вставляешь линивца и писаешь.

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вставляешь линивца и писаешь?

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Ну, ладно.

Если ты не хочешь чтобы она залетела,

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можешь вставить-вытащить и писать ей на ноги

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- Чувак, я реально не вижу проблемы

- У меня есть проблемы важнее.

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Вы парни не понимаете!

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Отнашения с сумашедшей учительницей,

это как школьная подружка.

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Они пишут записки в классе друг другу

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занимаются сексом в перерывах на обед

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сбегают с уроков

и целуются в коридорах!

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Они что?

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сбегают с уроков

и целуются в коридорах!

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Подожди секунду,

Заниматься в коридорах противоречит Школьной политике?

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Но они это делают!

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Вот теперь это личное.

00:11:19,574 --> 00:11:21,374

Коридоры это моя юрисдикция,

00:11:21,374 --> 00:11:24,574

Все правонарушители

будут иметь дело с Мужиком

00:11:27,074 --> 00:11:29,274

Итак, продолжайте доделывать

ваши рисунки из макарон,

00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:31,074

учительнице надо отойти на секундочку.

00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:33,874

А-Айк, не поможеш мне?

00:11:36,674 --> 00:11:39,474

Оу, Айк, Я просто хотела провести

секундочку наедине с тобой

00:11:41,674 --> 00:11:44,174

Я написала тебе любовное письмо,

и одно старое

00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:46,874

Оу, всего один поцелуй в тишине от класса.

00:11:49,074 --> 00:11:50,374

Стоять нарушители!

00:11:51,374 --> 00:11:52,574

Мы как раз собрались возвращаться.

00:11:52,774 --> 00:11:54,174

У тебя есть "разрешение"

находиться в коридоре?

00:11:54,174 --> 00:11:56,374

Мне не нужно Разрешение, я учитель..

00:11:56,774 --> 00:11:57,374

Да, но где его разрешение?

00:11:57,374 --> 00:11:58,774

Слушай, просто отпусти нас обратно, ok ?

00:11:58,774 --> 00:12:00,774

А ну на пол!

00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:02,074

Мы вернемся обратно в класс.

00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:03,674

Хочешь нюхнуть Медвежьего Газа, Шлюха ?

00:12:03,674 --> 00:12:04,674

Медвежьего газа?

00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:05,674

Следуй пути Господнему!

00:12:09,374 --> 00:12:10,574

Вот что у меня директор,

00:12:10,574 --> 00:12:12,774

Эти двоя в коридоре

Целовались

00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,674

У нее были любовные письма к нему.

00:12:14,874 --> 00:12:17,574

"Айк, я томлюсь по твоим обьятиям"

00:12:17,874 --> 00:12:21,374

Мисс Стивенсон,

у Вас отношения с этим учеником?

00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,174

Да. Проводить время урока

в коридоре без разрешения.

00:12:24,774 --> 00:12:26,074

Это не вероятно.

00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:28,774

Я знаю, как будто "разрешения" ее не касаются.

00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,874

Мисс Стивенсон, мне следует сообщить в полицию.

00:12:32,374 --> 00:12:33,574

О, боже

00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:35,574

Ты имеешь дело с мужиком, сучка!

00:12:39,474 --> 00:12:42,874

Извините, но мы должны это сделать,

тк леди Директор настояла

00:12:44,774 --> 00:12:47,374

- В чем дело?

- Учительница младших классов

00:12:47,374 --> 00:12:49,074

задержана за совращение ученика.

00:12:49,474 --> 00:12:52,674

ученика?

Но, она женщина!

00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:53,674

Да, я знаю.

00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,674

Но, она горяча!

00:12:57,974 --> 00:12:59,974

Вау, я думаю теперь я должен тебе, Картмен

00:12:59,974 --> 00:13:02,974

Ты не должен мне ни чего,

мои коридоры - чисты!

00:13:10,774 --> 00:13:13,774

Айк, я тебя не закладывал.

Тебя поимел коридорный смотритель.

00:13:15,974 --> 00:13:18,874

Ладно, Ладно. Я должен

был что-нибуть сделать.

00:13:18,874 --> 00:13:20,974

но когда-нибудь ты дорастешь до лучшего

00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:23,474

Ты умер для меня.

00:13:24,574 --> 00:13:25,574

Что?

00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:28,974

Я сказа "Ты умер для меня"

00:13:30,574 --> 00:13:31,774

Я умер для тебя ?

00:13:31,774 --> 00:13:33,874

Ты умер для меня, Кайл.

00:13:35,974 --> 00:13:39,374

Я в полицейском участке,

они говорят, что у них есть улики

00:13:39,374 --> 00:13:40,774

мне так страшно.

00:13:41,974 --> 00:13:44,274

Слушай, я хочу чтобы ты знал: Все в порядке.

00:13:44,874 --> 00:13:47,874

Если кто-нибудь попытается поговорить

с тобой, ни говори им ничего!

00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:51,274

Предоставь это мне.

Я знаю выход из ситуации.

00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,774

Том, учительница младших классов

находящаяся под арестом

00:13:55,774 --> 00:13:59,274

за нелегальные связи

с одним из молодых учеников.

00:13:59,274 --> 00:14:02,474

Дело шокирующее,

большинство фактов говорит о том,

00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:05,174

что училка Довольно горячая штучка, Том.

00:14:05,174 --> 00:14:08,874

Если обвинения подтвердяться, то ЧЕРТ!

00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:12,174

похоже, что вышел адвокат подсудимой

для официального заявления

00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,174

Я заявляю, что мне глубоко жаль

00:14:15,174 --> 00:14:17,674

обвинения выдвинутые против меня

правда.

00:14:18,174 --> 00:14:19,474

более нескольких недель,

00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:23,474

у меня были физическое контакт

с одним из моих учеником.

00:14:25,674 --> 00:14:27,674

Мило ...

00:14:28,374 --> 00:14:30,574

Я знаю, что мои поступки это плохо

00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:35,374

и я нет оправдания моей глупости...

Понимаете, Я - алкоголичка.

00:14:37,974 --> 00:14:39,774

Да, я боюсь это правда.

00:14:40,174 --> 00:14:41,724

- О, нет!

- Что?

00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:44,524

Я не верю, Она использует тактику защиты Мела Гибсона

00:14:45,274 --> 00:14:51,174

Я отличный человек. Но когда я пью,

алкоголь заставляет говорить и делать

00:14:51,174 --> 00:14:54,574

-меня вещи противоречивые мне.

-Ну это все объясняет.

00:14:54,574 --> 00:14:58,074

- Мы продолжем следствие?

- кого мы можем обвинить, Джони Уокера?

00:14:58,074 --> 00:14:59,574

Бедная женщина.

она же жертва.

00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,274

Да, она Горячая жертва.

00:15:02,974 --> 00:15:06,374

моя клиентка согласна пройти

курс лечения с зависимостью, немедленно.

00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,274

даааа, даааа. удачи мэм,

Вы сможете побороть алкоголизм!

00:15:12,374 --> 00:15:14,374

[Нарко и Алко реабилитационный центр Округа]

00:15:19,374 --> 00:15:23,374

Алкоголь это разрушение, которое мы

используем, чтобы исцелить себя.

00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:25,874

Прикрытие для эмоционального багажа

кроющегося в нашем прошлом.

00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:29,374

Были ли у вас сексуальные и другие

расстройства в вашей семье?

00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:32,674

Нет, но мой дядя просил меня,

и мою сестру близняшку целоваться

00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:34,574

и фотографировал это.

00:15:36,374 --> 00:15:37,374

Милооо ...

00:15:39,174 --> 00:15:42,174

- Поздравляю, мисс Стивенсон!

- мне гораздо лучше теперь!

00:15:54,974 --> 00:15:57,274

- Айк!

- Мисс Стивенсон!

00:15:59,174 --> 00:16:02,374

Айк, мы должны убраться от сюда.

Они никогда на позволят нам быть вместе.

00:16:02,374 --> 00:16:06,674

Я считаю, считаю мы должны уехать в Милан.

мы говорили постоянно об этом.

00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:09,674

Дааааааааа, Мулан!

00:16:10,174 --> 00:16:12,374

Давай сделаем это вместе.

У нас нет времени.

00:16:18,774 --> 00:16:19,774

Айк, ты в порядке?

00:16:20,274 --> 00:16:21,274

Айк?

00:16:23,074 --> 00:16:24,274

ААААЙК!!!

00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:32,503

Ты не врешь, Фоли?

00:16:32,503 --> 00:16:34,603

Нет же серьезно, я пристрелил их обоих,

00:16:34,603 --> 00:16:36,403

они даже ничего не сделали.!

00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:38,603

Помогите, Пожалста, мне нужна ваша помощь!

00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:41,803

Эта учительница, мисс Стивенсон.

Она уехала с моим сыном.

00:16:41,803 --> 00:16:43,803

У меня есть записка, в которой

говориться что они уехали в Милан!

00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,303

- Вы шутите!

- Нет, это правда!

00:16:46,303 --> 00:16:49,303

Черт, где были эти сексуальные училки,

когда я был ребенком?

00:16:50,103 --> 00:16:51,103

Это серьезно!

00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:54,103

Да, парнишка уехал в Милан

с красивой, молодой женщиной,

00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:55,603

быстро звоните в ФБР!

00:16:57,503 --> 00:16:59,003

Вы ничего не сделаете?

00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:01,703

Ну ладно, ладно. Мы сделаем описание, о господи..

00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,503

Вот ты где. Что ты делаешь?

00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:07,803

Ты сдался, братан?

00:17:07,803 --> 00:17:10,203

Забрать брата в Милан, что тут поделаешь!

00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:12,603

Нет, они зарезервировали номер в отеле,

вылет завтра утром.

00:17:13,503 --> 00:17:14,103

Откуда тебе это известно?

00:17:14,503 --> 00:17:16,703

Мне Бетт проверила списки вылетающих.

00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,803

- Кто такая Бетт?

- Бетт - моя сучка!

00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:20,503

Я собрал свою Коридорную банду, братан.

00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,503

Я найду эту "коридорную засранку", неважно как!

00:17:22,503 --> 00:17:24,103

Ты с нами?

00:17:27,503 --> 00:17:30,403

[Лирой - асистент мужика.]

Я собрал несколько подонков себе в помощь!

00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:33,303

[Эрл - водитель мужика.]

Я плачу им всего 50 баксов

00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:36,803

[Бетт - Шлюха Мужика.]

Я счетаю, что у той тетки нет "разрешения"

00:17:37,503 --> 00:17:40,603

[Кайл - Еврей.]

Тебе не скрыться от меня, потом как

Я - мужик

00:17:40,603 --> 00:17:44,503

Я мужик, полохой мужик

00:17:44,503 --> 00:17:47,303

думаете выйти в коридор без "разрешения"?

Подумаете дважды.

00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:50,103

Ну как, Батерс?

00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,103

Это получилось довольно хорошо.

00:17:52,703 --> 00:17:54,103

Мы можем теперь идти?

00:17:54,603 --> 00:17:56,203

Да, брат. Видео снято, двинули!

00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:03,503

Айк, ты собираешься только смотреть ТВ?

00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:05,103

Я люблю ТВ! Дааа!

00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:07,803

А как же я?

00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:09,503

Я хочу поговорить.

00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:14,003

Все посмотрите на фото внимательно!

00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:15,903

Ее надо взять быстро и чисто!

00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:19,203

она убегает, но не знает

что связалась с Чуваком!

00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:22,303

Бетт нашла то что они остановились

00:18:22,303 --> 00:18:24,503

в Отеле "Аэропорт hilton"!

Надо найти ее!

00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:26,203

Вот отель!

00:18:26,203 --> 00:18:27,703

Бетт, скажи Эрлу припорковаться Там!

00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:31,603

Вперед, пошли!

00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:34,203

Эй, вы не можете оставить свою машину тут.

00:18:34,203 --> 00:18:35,603

все в порядке, я Коридорный смотритель!

00:18:36,903 --> 00:18:38,703

Разделимся, Лирой на двадцатый!

00:18:38,903 --> 00:18:39,903

Могу Вам чем-нибуть помочь?

00:18:39,903 --> 00:18:41,703

Вы видели эту женщину, братан.

она остановилась здесь

00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:43,703

Кто Вы?

00:18:43,703 --> 00:18:46,903

Я мужик, Плохой мужик!

00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:49,803

Я думаю вам лучше уйти пока я не вызвал полицию!

00:18:49,803 --> 00:18:51,103

Бетт, травони этого мужика.

00:18:52,903 --> 00:18:54,603

Проверьте на крыше,

Лирой и Кайл туда

00:18:54,603 --> 00:18:56,003

Бетт за мной.

00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,403

Вышлите полицию сюда, срочно!

00:19:01,803 --> 00:19:03,403

- да ?

- Я ищу эту училку,

00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:04,503

она не в твоем номере, Брат?

00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:06,303

Вы не против вести себя потише?

00:19:06,303 --> 00:19:07,503

Закрой свой рот, брат !

00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:14,603

О нет, Айк, они выследили нас!

00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:16,303

О, нет.

00:19:16,803 --> 00:19:18,803

скорей, дорогой!

нам надо убираться от сюда.!

00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,103

Куда они делись?

Куда они делись?

00:19:20,103 --> 00:19:21,103

Кто вызывал 911?

00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:22,103

Они пошли в ту сторону!

00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,003

Аккуратней у них болон с газом на медведя!

00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:28,103

открывайте, я с мужиком !

00:19:28,903 --> 00:19:29,903

о дерьмо !

00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,103

Не с места !

00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,503

Пойдем дорогой !

00:19:38,703 --> 00:19:40,703

Эй, они у меня, чувак!

00:19:41,203 --> 00:19:42,503

о Иисус, мы идем !

00:19:42,503 --> 00:19:43,703

Бежим, Айк !

00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:48,003

Бетт пали из болона !

00:19:55,603 --> 00:19:56,603

Не с места, сучка!

00:19:57,003 --> 00:19:58,003

Стоять, не двигаться, Руки...

00:19:58,003 --> 00:19:59,403

Стоять! Стоять!

00:19:59,403 --> 00:20:03,103

Все в порядке. Это Недоразумение.

Я Коридорный Смотритель

00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:07,703

Эта беглянка засоряет коридоры и пыталась уехать в Милан.

00:20:08,503 --> 00:20:11,303

Эй, эта та училка по которой у нас розыск!

00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,303

Ну все, Мисс Стивенсон, вам некуда бежать...

00:20:14,303 --> 00:20:16,103

Почему вы не можете просто

оставить нас в покое?

00:20:16,603 --> 00:20:18,103

Все что мы хотим, это любить

00:20:18,403 --> 00:20:21,203

Спокойно! мы могли сделать это просто,

сделаем это по-Мужски!

00:20:21,703 --> 00:20:24,203

У нее платок повязан на говове, а...

00:20:26,103 --> 00:20:29,303

Все кончено, Айк.

Милан, дом в Таскнии

00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:31,403

они никогда не дадут нам быть вместе.

00:20:31,803 --> 00:20:33,703

нам придется прибегнуть к запасному варианту.

00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,903

Так, подождите. не делайте ничего глупого,

Мы можем поговорить об этом

00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:47,003

Вы не можете допустить нашу любовь,

итак мы можем быть вместе только вечности!

00:20:47,503 --> 00:20:48,503

нет!

00:20:48,503 --> 00:20:49,603

Нет, Айк. не делай этого!

00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:56,103

Я знаю, твоя первая любовь кажется

тебе единственной,но поверь мне это не так.

00:20:56,103 --> 00:20:59,403

У тебя еще столько впереди.

00:21:02,103 --> 00:21:04,603

Вы не верите в реальную любовь, Вам не понять!

00:21:05,103 --> 00:21:08,003

Айк, тебе нужно жить! Веселись!

00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:10,303

Когда разваляться эти начнуться новые

серьезные отнашения.

00:21:12,703 --> 00:21:15,903

Я боюсь вы опоздали, ты готов, любовь моя?

00:21:15,903 --> 00:21:16,903

Пошли!!

00:21:17,403 --> 00:21:19,203

Один-Два-Триииииииииииии...

00:21:21,703 --> 00:21:22,703

Айк!!!?

00:21:27,303 --> 00:21:28,303

Айк

00:21:30,103 --> 00:21:32,503

Ну, похоже в очередной раз Мужик одержал победу.

00:21:32,503 --> 00:21:35,303

Надеюсь, вы поняли, ребята,

Если вы не следуете пути Господня,

00:21:35,303 --> 00:21:37,903

вы падете так низко как эта

расплющенная сучка на асфальте.

00:21:38,503 --> 00:21:40,403

Эй, парень, убирайся-ка ты с крыши.

00:21:40,903 --> 00:21:42,503

Ну круто, я все равно уже закончил снимать свое видео.

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,362

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:32,992

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,165

And so then I put my finger

up my butthole, right?

00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,708

And I walked up to Kelly Nelson,

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,376

and I said,

"Do you smell lemongrass?"

00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,045

And she smelled my finger

and puked!

00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,380

Oh, God.

You should have been there.

00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,341

Eric, I have to take you

to the principal's office.

00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,217

What?

00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,344

I didn't do it.

Kelly Nelson's a liar!

00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,638

I've been instructed to bring

you to the principal's office.

00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,475

Oh, suck my balls,

you ginger Jew-rat hall monitor.

00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,517

Punk-ass stoolie.

00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,019

Who the

do you think you are?

00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,020

I'm just doing my job.

00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,354

"I'm just da-da-da-da!"

00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,773

You know why you're

a hallway monitor?

00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,232

Because you don't have

any friends.

00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,651

You should kill yourself.

You should kill yourself!

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:08,986

Eric Cartman,

00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,696

report to the principal's office

immediately.

00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,698

Aw, God damn it!

00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,325

Come on in, Eric.

00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,869

I'm sorry, Principal Victoria.

I didn't mean to do it.

00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,412

How could I have been

so foolish?

00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,289

Eric, the reason

we called you in here

00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,251

is because it is your turn to be

the school hallway monitor.

00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,753

The hall monit-- Me?

00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,755

You need to watch

for bad behavior

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,924

and make sure anyone

in the halls during class

00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,051

has a hall pass, m'kay?

00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,929

If anyone doesn't, you have the

authority to bring them to me.

00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:38,390

Auth...

Authoritah?

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,434

Now, Eric,

being the school hallway monitor

00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,020

is a big responsibility, m'kay?

00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,564

It is important

that you take the job seriously

00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,691

and that you don't abuse

the power.

00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,819

Me?

00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,074

♪ There's fear

and darkness all around you ♪

00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,119

♪ The criminals are on the run ♪

00:01:58,244 --> 00:02:01,747

♪ No use in not having

your hall pass ♪

00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,332

♪ I'll take you

to the principal ♪

00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,000

♪ 'Cause I'm The Dawg ♪

00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,752

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,046

♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪

00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,799

♪ The hallway monitor ♪

00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,428

Hey, kid, get out of there.

00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:17,513

That's cool.

00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,182

I'm done making my video

anyways.

00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,858

Hall pass!

Show me your hall pass!

00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,109

What?

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,194

You know what this is?!

00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,655

This is the mace

that they use on bears, faggot!

00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,115

Now, let me see your hall pass!

00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,533

It's right here!

00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,869

All right. Cool, brah.

Go with Christ.

00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,121

What? You can't just push me

up against the --

00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,247

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,916

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,043

♪ The big, b-- ♪

00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,296

Oh, my God.

00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466

What the is this?!

00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:58,721

And so this shape

with four sides is what, class?

00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,347

Kwhyah!

00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,809

Ike Broflovski?!

You littering my hallway, brah?!

00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,269

What are you doing?

00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,104

I found this in the hallway.

00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,481

Apparently, your student Ike

has a crush on you.

00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,442

You got a crush

on your teacher, brah?

00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,776

Keep it out of my hallway.

00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,777

Go with Christ.

00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:14,778

Here you go.

00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:16,780

I don't think

that's really necessary.

00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,949

Hey, I don't tell you

how to run your class.

00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,076

Don't tell me how to run

my hallway.

00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,454

♪ Ike has a crush on Teacher ♪

00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,456

♪ Ike has a crush on Tea-cher ♪

00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,043

That's enough, class.

00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,796

Okay. We'll see you tomorrow,

everybody.

00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:36,133

Ike, could you stay

just a few minutes, please?

00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,514

Ike, I'm very flattered

by all of your love notes,

00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,099

but I need to be clear.

00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,019

There have been a lot of female

teachers on the news lately

00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479

who have been having

relationships

00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:52,900

with young male students, and...

people might get the wrong idea.

00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,694

Even though I do admire you.

00:03:55,819 --> 00:04:00,241

You are so smart and gifted,

so mature for your age.

00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,952

I don't like medicine.

00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:07,081

You listen and you really care

about what I have to say.

00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:11,210

You make me feel things

I've never felt before.

00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,091

Ike, this is crazy.

00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,592

I'm your teacher.

00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,137

How can we be having

these feelings for each other?

00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,056

You're so mysterious.

00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,474

And I can't...

00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,768

And I can't...

00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:34,108

♪ And I can't fight this feeling

anymore ♪

00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:40,447

♪ I've forgotten

what I started fighting for ♪

00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:44,910

♪ And if I have to crawl

upon the floor ♪

00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,122

♪ Come crashing

through your door ♪

00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:57,589

♪ Baby, I can't fight

this feeling anymore ♪

00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,973

That was unbelievable.

00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,101

I've never felt

like such a woman before.

00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,978

They'll say our love is wrong.

00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,356

But we can't let anybody know.

They'll never understand.

00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,900

We were meant to be.

I know it.

00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:20,279

How else could sex be

that incredible?

00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,825

Ike made a no-no.

00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,417

♪ Hey, there, Mr. Wiener,

what do you know? ♪

00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,918

♪ Do you need to

tinkle-tinkle? ♪

00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,712

♪ "Yes, I do think so!" ♪

00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,713

Hands!

00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,465

- Let me see those hands!

- Aah!

00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,383

Where's your pass?!

Show me your hall pass, brah!

00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,052

It's -- It's -- I just had it!

00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,178

I knew it!

00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,227

Look, brah,

I had to bring you in,

00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,271

but I don't have any hard

feelings against you, all right?

00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,939

- Huh?

- Here. You need a smoke, brah?

00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,107

Uh, okay.

00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,653

You got to give yourself over

to Christ, brah.

00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,072

I do?

00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,156

Jesus is Lord.

00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,491

You can go one direction

in life,

00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,618

where you just walk around

hallways without a hall pass,

00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,161

or you can see the light, brah.

00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,583

Kyle, I need you to go get

your brother

00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,335

- over at his teacher's house.

- Huh?

00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,669

Tell his teacher I'm sorry,

00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,172

but I forgot that he has

a doctor's appointment today.

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,965

What's he doing

at his teacher's house?

00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:25,260

He's been going there in the

afternoons for private tutoring.

00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,055

♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪

00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,599

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,854

- ♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪

- Hello?

00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,689

Excuse me?

00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,233

I'm here to pick up Ike.

00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,693

♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪

00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,779

Uh, hello?

Is Ike here?

00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,533

- ♪ Afternoon delight ♪

- Hello?

00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,493

Oh, God! I'm sorry!

00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,537

I didn't mean to --

I-I was looking for my brother!

00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:55,833

Ike?

00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,670

What the hell is going on?

00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:03,173

Oh, what's the use, Ike?

We're caught.

00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,427

Hold on. Please!

You don't understand!

00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,470

Really?

What's there not to understand?

00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,807

Your brother and I...

are in love.

00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,643

He's a little young,

don't you think?

00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,186

Oh!

00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,814

Ike is very mature for his age,

and you know it.

00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,858

Ring around the rosie!

00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,193

He makes me feel

like nobody else does.

00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,028

He loves me and only me.

00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,864

And I know I am a goddess

to him.

00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,699

When we make love,

he can give it to me hard

00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,451

- or soft and gentle --

- All right!

00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,827

We're getting

the hell out of here.

00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,579

Lo-la-Io-la-nah.

00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,914

Ike, you can't possibly

want this.

00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,082

We have to tell Mom.

00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,377

Ike!

00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:44,006

Is it so hard to believe

that true love exists?

00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,676

This is nuts.

00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,350

Mom, Dad, have you ever met

Ike's kindergarten teacher?

00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,021

Miss Stevenson?

Yes. She's very nice.

00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,231

Yeah.

Well, she likes Ike a whole lot.

00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,274

That's great.

00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,651

Yeah, except it's maybe

not perfectly great,

00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,070

because to some degree, Ike

and Miss Stevenson are having --

00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,071

Spider-man!

00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,115

I'm spaceman!

00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,784

Yes, Ike.

You like Spider-man, don't you?

00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,247

Mom, there might be something

that you should look into

00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,832

about Ike staying after school

all the time --

00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,834

Waah!

Punkin.

00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,879

Mommy, I love you.

I love you.

00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,048

Mommy loves you, too, sweetie.

00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,009

Would you excuse us

for a second?

00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,429

You can't just expect me

to sit there and say nothing.

00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,098

No, Ike. I'm supposed to be

looking out for you -- What?

00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,558

I wasn't gonna just

blurt it out.

00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,852

I was gonna use some tact, but

you won't even let me -- what?

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,605

Nuh-unh!

That's not fair, Ike.

00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,818

Mom, I think maybe

you should talk to Ike

00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:47,903

about love and sex.

00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,031

Sex? Oh, boubbie,

Ike is much too young.

00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,204

- You're so full of crap, Foley.

- What?

00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,165

I did shoot him in the face --

twice!

00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,292

Ex-- Excuse me?

00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,503

My name is...Brad.

00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,506

And I-I need to report

a crime -- anonymously.

00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,091

Oh?

What's the crime?

00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,051

Well, I attend

South Park Elementary,

00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:14,513

a-and one of the teachers

is having sex with a student.

00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,765

- Oh, my God!

- Get a name!

00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,642

- Did you hear what he said?!

- This is terrible.

00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,103

Y-You did the right thing

telling the police, Brad.

00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,021

Now, who is the teacher?

What's his name?

00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,898

Well, it isn't a guy teacher.

It's a woman.

00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,275

- A woman?

- Yeah.

00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,318

She's having sex with a boy.

00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,237

Oh, but --

but she's ugly, right?

00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,154

Well, no, not really.

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,823

It's the kindergarten teacher,

Miss Stevenson.

00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,575

- The blonde?

- Yeah.

00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,035

Some young boy is having sex

with Miss Stevenson?

00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,036

Yes.

00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,247

Nice.

00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,456

Nice.

00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,333

What?

No. You don't understand --

00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,793

You sure they've had sex?

00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,794

Yeah.

00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,504

Has she performed oral sex

on him?

00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,339

I think so.

00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,257

Nice.

00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,383

Nice.

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,634

Nice.

00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,595

So wait.

W-What's the crime?

00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,388

The crime is she isn't doing it

with me.

00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,183

Hey!

He's totally underage!

00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,810

She's taking advantage of him!

00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,605

You're right. We're sorry.

This is serious.

00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,356

We need to track

this student down

00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,359

and give him his Luckiest Boy

in America medal right away.

00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,697

Aah!

00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,829

Guys, can I talk to you?

00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,830

Sure, dude.

00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,749

I need you to keep quiet

about this, all right?

00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:24,833

My little brother and his te--

00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,335

Brahs, it's almost class time,

00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,420

I need you to start clearing

the hallways, all right?

00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,256

Not now, Cartman.

I have really serious problems.

00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,507

Dude, what's the matter?

00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,092

The kindergarten teacher

is having sex

00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,886

with my little brother.

00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,972

- Wow.

- Mrph?

00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,891

Damn, brah. Your little brother

is pretty cool.

00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,059

It's not cool.

00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,602

Ike isn't old enough

to understand!

00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,603

What's to understand?

00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,355

You get a boner,

slap her titties around some,

00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,774

and then stick it inside her

and pee.

00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,486

"Stick it inside her and pee."

00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,988

Well, okay. Fine. Unless you

don't want to get her pregnant.

00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,823

Then you pull it out

and pee on her leg.

00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,158

Dude, I really don't see

a problem.

00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,618

Yeah, I've got bigger things

to deal with.

00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,619

You guys don't understand!

00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,454

His wacko teacher

is like a schoolgirl.

00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164

They pass notes to each other

in the classroom.

00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,791

They have sex at her house

over lunch break,

00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,877

and during class they sneak out

and kiss in the hallways!

00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:10,754

They what?

00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,340

They sneak out during class

and make out in the hallways.

00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,508

Hang on a second.

00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,052

Making out in the hallways is

strictly against school policy.

00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,304

- Well, they're doing it.

- Yeah. Well, now it's personal.

00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,972

The hallways

are my jurisdiction.

00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,808

If there's a hallway infraction

going on,

00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,352

they're gonna have to deal with

The Dawg.

00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,064

Okay. Just continue

with your macaroni pictures.

00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,316

Teacher has to step out

for a second.

00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,735

Uh, Ike,

could you help me out, please?

00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,197

Oh, Ike.

00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,408

I just had to have

a second alone with you.

00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,368

I like baba better.

00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,954

I got your love letter,

and I wrote you one back.

00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,915

Oh, just one kiss to hold me

over for the rest of class.

00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,918

Hall infraction!

00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,629

Oh, uh, we were just

heading back in.

00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:53,797

You got a hall pass, brah?!

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,299

I don't need a hall pass.

I'm a teacher.

00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,759

Yeah?

Well, where's his hall pass?

00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,052

Look.

Just let us get back in --

00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,262

Get down on the floor!

00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,847

We're going back inside!

00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473

You like bear mace, ice head?!

00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,683

Bear mace?!

00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,309

You're going with Christ!

00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,103

Aah!

00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,522

And that's what I got,

principal brah.

00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,816

These two were in the hallways,

making out.

00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,651

She had those love letters

on her person.

00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,529

"Ike, I long to feel

your arms around me"?

00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,739

Miss Stevenson,

00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,324

y-you're having a relationship

with this student?

00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,494

Yes. During class time,

without a hall pass.

00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,996

This is unbelievable.

00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,999

I know. It's like a hall pass

doesn't even matter to her.

00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,169

Miss Stevenson, I will need to

inform the police.

00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,295

Oh, God.

00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,006

You just dealt with The Dawg,

bitch.

00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,472

Sorry we have to do this,

but the lady principal insisted.

00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,348

What's going on?

00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:48,018

The kindergarten teacher

is suspected of having sex

00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:49,019

with a student.

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,562

With a student?

00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,564

But...she's a woman.

00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,441

Yeah.

I know.

00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,319

But...she's hot.

00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,988

Wow.

I think I owe you one, Cartman.

00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,116

You don't owe me anything.

My hallways are clean.

00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,833

Ike, I didn't tell on you.

00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,668

You got busted

by the hallway monitor.

00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:16,880

Okay. Okay.

00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,548

I did have something

to do with it.

00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,926

But someday you're gonna realize

it was for the best.

00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,095

You are dead to me.

00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,639

What?

00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:29,434

I said you're dead to me.

00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,478

I'm dead to you?

00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,564

You're dead to me, Kyle.

00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,317

I'm at the police station.

00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,027

They say they found

some evidence.

00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,529

I'm so scared!

00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,449

Listen.

I want you to know it's okay.

00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,911

If anybody tries to talk to you,

you don't need to say anything.

00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:52,165

Just leave it to me.

I know a way out of this.

00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,710

Tom, an elementary school

teacher is under arrest

00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:59,381

for allegedly having an affair

with one of her young students.

00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,384

The case is shocking

due mostly to the fact

00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,095

that the teacher is pretty hot,

Tom.

00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,639

If the accusations are true,

then...

00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,765

Damn.

00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,517

Uh, it looks like the defendant

and her lawyer

00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,018

are about to give a statement,

Tom.

00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,230

I am deeply sorry to announce

00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,774

that the allegations against me

are true.

00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,401

Over the past several weeks,

00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,820

I have been having

physical relations

00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,864

with one of my students.

00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,575

Nice.

00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,034

Nice.

00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,913

I know my actions were wrong,

but I can not be fully to blame.

00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,542

You see...I am an alcoholic.

00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,586

Ohh.

00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,588

Yes, I'm afraid it's true.

00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,506

- Oh, no!

- What?

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,507

I don't believe it.

00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,968

She's using

the Mel Gibson defense.

00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,763

I am a perfectly good person,

but when I drink

00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:53,059

the alcohol makes me say and do

things I wouldn't normally do.

00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,519

Well, that explains it.

00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,062

Do we still press charges?

00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,814

Who are we gonna convict --

Johnnie Walker?

00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,524

Poor woman.

She's a victim.

00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,776

Yeah.

She's a hot victim.

00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:06,364

My client has agreed to check

herself into rehab immediately.

00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,409

- Yeah!

- Good luck, ma'am!

00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,077

You can beat your alcoholism!

00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:22,923

Alcohol is a crutch, which we

use to medicate ourselves,

00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051

to -- to cover up

emotional baggage from our past.

00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,554

Was there ever a history

of sexual abuse in your family?

00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,974

No, but my Uncle used to ask me

and my twin sister to kiss

00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,809

and he'd take pictures.

00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,104

Nice.

00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,690

Congratulations, Miss Stevenson.

00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,193

All better now!

00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,413

Ike!

00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,707

Miss Stevenson!

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,543

Ike, we have to get out of here.

00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,295

They'll never

let us be together.

00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,965

I think...

I think we should go to Milan,

00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,716

like we always talked about.

00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,719

Yay!

Milan!

00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,306

Get your things together.

We don't have much time.

00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,646

Ike, you okay?

00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,107

Ike?

00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,567

Ike!

00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,200

Are you sure you're not lying,

Foley?

00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,284

No!

Really!

00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,496

I shot both of them!

They weren't even doin' nothing!

00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,540

Help! Please!

I need your help!

00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,708

That teacher, Miss Stevenson,

00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,501

she --

she's left town with my son!

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,628

I got a note saying

they're going to Milan!

00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,963

You're kidding.

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,548

- No! It's true!

- Damn it!

00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,467

Where were all these sexed-up

teachers when I was a kid?!

00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,011

This is serious!

00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,972

Yeah. A boy is going to Milan

with a beautiful older woman.

00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598

Quick.

Call the FBI.

00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,768

Are you going to do nothing?!

00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,854

All right. All right.

We'll make a report.

00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,439

Jesus.

00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,192

There you are.

What are doing?

00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,610

You giving up, brah?

00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,030

Dude, my brother's in Milan.

There's nothing I can do.

00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,156

No.

They haven't left yet.

00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,991

Their flight

is tomorrow morning.

00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,159

How do you know that?

00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,661

I had Beth check out

their Travelocity account.

00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,747

- Who's Beth?

- Beth is my bitch.

00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,415

I've put a whole crew together,

brah.

00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,083

I'm gonna get that

hallway-defiling slut

00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,084

no matter what it takes.

00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,003

Are you in?

00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,799

♪ I got

some bad-ass guys to help me ♪

00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:33,011

♪ I only had to pay them

15 bucks ♪

00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,598

♪ You think you got away

with not having a hall pass ♪

00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,643

♪ You won't get away from me,

'cause I'm The Dawg ♪

00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,103

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,230

♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪

00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,191

Think you can get away

with not having a hall pass?

00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,525

Think again.

00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,153

How was that, Butters?

00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,405

That was pretty good!

00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,032

Can we get going now, please?

00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,533

Yep.

We're all done with the video.

00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:56,701

Let's move out!

00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,208

Ike, is that all you're gonna do

is watch TV?

00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,960

I love TV.

Yay!

00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,670

But what about me?

00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,006

I want to talk.

00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,968

Everyone get a good look

at our fugitive.

00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,678

I want her taken down fast

and clean.

00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:16,679

She ran away.

00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,100

Now she got to deal with

The Dawg, huh?

00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,228

Beth found out they have a room

at the Airport Hilton.

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,854

We need to search it.

00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:25,855

Here's the hotel!

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,108

Beth, tell Leeroy

to pull up here.

00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,070

All right! Let's go!

Move out!

00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,905

Hey. You can't leave

your car there.

00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,032

It's okay.

I'm a hallway monitor.

00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,535

Keep separation.

Leeroy, check out our 20.

00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,661

Can I help you?

00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,830

You seen this woman, brah?

She's staying here.

00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,206

Who are you?

00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,707

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,668

♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪

00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,420

I think you should leave

before I call the police.

00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,880

Beth, bear-mace that guy!

00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,340

Aah!

00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,508

Let's check out the rooms!

00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,885

Leeroy and Kyle, go that way!

Beth, you come with me!

00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,763

We need police here right away!

00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,350

Yes?

00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,227

I'm looking for this teacher.

She in your room, brah?

00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,104

Do you mind keeping it down?

00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,397

Keep your mouth shut, brah!

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,571

Oh, no.

Ike, they're onto us!

00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,197

Oh, no!

00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,700

Hurry, darling.

We have to get out of here.

00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,742

What have we got?!

What have we got?!

00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,579

- Who called 911?

- They went that way!

00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,831

Look out!

They have bear mace!

00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,251

Open up!

I'm with The Dawg!

00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,377

Oh, crap!

00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,796

You freeze right there!

00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,884

Come on, darling.

00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,302

Hey!

00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,471

I got 'em, Dawg.

Fifth floor.

00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,056

Praise Christ!

Let's go!

00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,766

Ike, run!

00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,770

Beth, bear-mace that guy!

And that guy!

00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,106

- Aah!

- Aah! Aah!

00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,196

Freeze, bitch!

00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,488

- Freeze!

- Hands up! Hands up!

00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,907

Don't move!

Don't move!

00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,326

It's all right.

There's been a misunderstanding.

00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,161

I'm a hall monitor.

00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,164

This fugitive is trying to avoid

a hallway infraction

00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,790

by skipping off to Milan.

00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:11,669

Hey, that is the teacher

we just got the report about.

00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,922

All right, Miss Stevenson.

You've got nowhere to go.

00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132

Why couldn't you

just leave us alone?

00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,551

- All we wanted was to love.

- Get down!

00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,095

We can do this the easy way

or we can do it Dawg style.

00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,391

She got a scarf on her head,

huh?

00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:29,437

It's all over, Ike --

Milan, the house in Tuscany.

00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,356

They'll never let us

be together.

00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,359

We have to go

with the backup plan.

00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,656

Now, hold on.

Don't do anything foolish.

00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,449

We can talk about this.

00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,077

You can't accept our love,

00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:47,038

so then we can only be together

in eternity.

00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,374

No!

Ike, don't do it.

00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,126

Dinosaur funny bad bad.

00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586

Ike, please.

00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,005

I know your first love

seems like the only love.

00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,507

But trust me, it's not.

00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,175

You have so much life

ahead of you.

00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,681

You, who don't believe

in true love, don't understand.

00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,557

Ike, you need to have a life.

00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:07,725

Have fun.

00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,019

Then ruin it by having

a serious relationship.

00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,274

I'm afraid you're too late.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,901

Are you ready, my love?

Here we go.

00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,778

One! Two! Three!

00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,030

Aah!

00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,407

Ike?

00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,786

Yay!

00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,371

Ike!

00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,292

Well, looks like once again

The Dawg has prevailed.

00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,626

I hope you've learned, kids,

00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,128

that if you don't go

with Christ,

00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879

you could end up

just like that splattered bitch

00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,047

down on the pavement.

00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,341

Hey, kid, you need to

get off the roof now.

00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,261

That's cool. I'm done making

my video anyways.

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,362

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:32,992

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,287

[ Bell rings ]

00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:39,165

And so then I put my finger

up my butthole, right?

00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,708

And I walked up to Kelly Nelson,

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,376

and I said,

"Do you smell lemongrass?"

00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,045

And she smelled my finger

and puked!

00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,380

[ Laughs ] Oh, God.

You should have been there.

00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,341

Eric, I have to take you

to the principal's office.

00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,217

What?

00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,344

I didn't do it.

Kelly Nelson's a liar!

00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,638

I've been instructed to bring

you to the principal's office.

00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,475

Oh, suck my balls,

you ginger Jew-rat hall monitor.

00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,517

Punk-ass stoolie.

00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,019

Who the [bleep]

do you think you are?

00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,020

I'm just doing my job.

00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,354

[ Mockingly ]

"I'm just da-da-da-da!"

00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,773

You know why you're

a hallway monitor?

00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,232

Because you don't have

any friends.

00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,651

You should kill yourself.

You should kill yourself!

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:08,986

PRINCIPAL VICTORIA:

Eric Cartman,

00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,696

report to the principal's office

immediately.

00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,698

Aw, God damn it!

00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,325

- [ Knock on door ]

- Come on in, Eric.

00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,869

I'm sorry, Principal Victoria.

I didn't mean to do it.

00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,412

How could I have been

so foolish?

00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,289

Eric, the reason

we called you in here

00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,251

is because it is your turn to be

the school hallway monitor.

00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,753

The hall monit-- Me?

00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,755

You need to watch

for bad behavior

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,924

and make sure anyone

in the halls during class

00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,051

has a hall pass, m'kay?

00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,929

If anyone doesn't, you have the

authority to bring them to me.

00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:38,390

Auth...

Authoritah?

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,434

Now, Eric,

being the school hallway monitor

00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,020

is a big responsibility, m'kay?

00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,564

It is important

that you take the job seriously

00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,691

and that you don't abuse

the power.

00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,819

Me?

00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,570

[ Rock music plays ]

00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,074

CARTMAN: ♪ There's fear

and darkness all around you ♪

00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,119

♪ The criminals are on the run ♪

00:01:58,244 --> 00:02:01,747

♪ No use in not having

your hall pass ♪

00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,332

♪ I'll take you

to the principal ♪

00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,000

♪ 'Cause I'm The Dawg ♪

00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,752

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,046

♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪

00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,799

♪ The hallway monitor ♪

00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,677

- [ Laughs ]

- [ Tapping ]

00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,428

Hey, kid, get out of there.

00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:17,513

That's cool.

00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,182

I'm done making my video

anyways.

00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,477

[ Music continues ]

00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,858

Hall pass!

Show me your hall pass!

00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,109

What?

00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,110

[ Grunts ]

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,194

You know what this is?!

00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,655

This is the mace

that they use on bears, faggot!

00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,115

Now, let me see your hall pass!

00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,533

It's right here!

00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,869

All right. Cool, brah.

Go with Christ.

00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,121

What? You can't just push me

up against the --

00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,247

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,916

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,043

♪ The big, b-- ♪

00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,296

Oh, my God.

00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,173

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466

What the [bleep] is this?!

00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:58,721

And so this shape

with four sides is what, class?

00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,347

Kwhyah!

00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,809

Ike Broflovski?!

You littering my hallway, brah?!

00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,269

What are you doing?

00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,104

I found this in the hallway.

00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,481

Apparently, your student Ike

has a crush on you.

00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,442

You got a crush

on your teacher, brah?

00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:12,776

Keep it out of my hallway.

00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,777

Go with Christ.

00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:14,778

Here you go.

00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:16,780

I don't think

that's really necessary.

00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,949

Hey, I don't tell you

how to run your class.

00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,076

Don't tell me how to run

my hallway.

00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,454

♪ Ike has a crush on Teacher ♪

00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,456

ALL:

♪ Ike has a crush on Tea-cher ♪

00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:26,832

[ Laughter ]

00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,043

That's enough, class.

00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:30,085

[ Bell rings ]

00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,796

Okay. We'll see you tomorrow,

everybody.

00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:36,133

Ike, could you stay

just a few minutes, please?

00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,514

Ike, I'm very flattered

by all of your love notes,

00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,099

but I need to be clear.

00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,019

There have been a lot of female

teachers on the news lately

00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479

who have been having

relationships

00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:52,900

with young male students, and...

people might get the wrong idea.

00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,694

Even though I do admire you.

00:03:55,819 --> 00:04:00,241

You are so smart and gifted,

so mature for your age.

00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,952

I don't like medicine.

00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:07,081

You listen and you really care

about what I have to say.

00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:11,210

You make me feel things

I've never felt before.

00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,091

Ike, this is crazy.

00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,592

I'm your teacher.

00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,137

How can we be having

these feelings for each other?

00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,056

You're so mysterious.

00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,474

And I can't...

00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,768

And I can't...

00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:34,108

♪ And I can't fight this feeling

anymore ♪

00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:40,447

♪ I've forgotten

what I started fighting for ♪

00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:44,910

♪ And if I have to crawl

upon the floor ♪

00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,122

♪ Come crashing

through your door ♪

00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:57,589

♪ Baby, I can't fight

this feeling anymore ♪

00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,973

That was unbelievable.

00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,101

I've never felt

like such a woman before.

00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,978

They'll say our love is wrong.

00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,356

But we can't let anybody know.

They'll never understand.

00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,900

We were meant to be.

I know it.

00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:20,279

How else could sex be

that incredible?

00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,825

Ike made a no-no.

00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,622

[ Zipper opens ]

00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,417

♪ Hey, there, Mr. Wiener,

what do you know? ♪

00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,918

♪ Do you need to

tinkle-tinkle? ♪

00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,712

♪ "Yes, I do think so!" ♪

00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,713

Hands!

00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,465

- Let me see those hands!

- Aah!

00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,383

Where's your pass?!

Show me your hall pass, brah!

00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,052

It's -- It's -- I just had it!

00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,178

I knew it!

00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,097

[ Grunting ]

00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,766

[ Handcuffs click ]

00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,227

Look, brah,

I had to bring you in,

00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,271

but I don't have any hard

feelings against you, all right?

00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,939

- Huh?

- Here. You need a smoke, brah?

00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,107

Uh, okay.

00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,653

You got to give yourself over

to Christ, brah.

00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,072

I do?

[ Coughs ]

00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,156

Jesus is Lord.

00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:05,491

You can go one direction

in life,

00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,618

where you just walk around

hallways without a hall pass,

00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,161

or you can see the light, brah.

00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,287

[ Coughs ]

00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,583

Kyle, I need you to go get

your brother

00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,335

- over at his teacher's house.

- Huh?

00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,669

Tell his teacher I'm sorry,

00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,172

but I forgot that he has

a doctor's appointment today.

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,965

What's he doing

at his teacher's house?

00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:25,260

He's been going there in the

afternoons for private tutoring.

00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,055

♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪

00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,599

♪ Afternoon delight ♪

00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,854

- ♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪

- Hello?

00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,689

Excuse me?

00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,233

I'm here to pick up Ike.

00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,693

♪ A-A-A-Afternoon delight ♪

00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,779

Uh, hello?

Is Ike here?

00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,739

[ Woman laughing ]

00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,533

- ♪ Afternoon delight ♪

- Hello?

00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,493

- [ Screams ]

- Oh, God! I'm sorry!

00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,537

I didn't mean to --

I-I was looking for my brother!

00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:55,833

Ike?

00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,670

What the hell is going on?

00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:03,173

Oh, what's the use, Ike?

We're caught.

00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,427

Hold on. Please!

You don't understand!

00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,470

Really?

What's there not to understand?

00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,807

Your brother and I...

are in love.

00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,643

He's a little young,

don't you think?

00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,186

Oh!

00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,814

Ike is very mature for his age,

and you know it.

00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,858

Ring around the rosie!

00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,193

He makes me feel

like nobody else does.

00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,028

He loves me and only me.

00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,864

And I know I am a goddess

to him.

00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,699

When we make love,

he can give it to me hard

00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,451

- or soft and gentle --

- All right!

00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,827

We're getting

the hell out of here.

00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,579

[ Whining ]

Lo-la-Io-la-nah.

00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,914

Ike, you can't possibly

want this.

00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,082

We have to tell Mom.

00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,334

[ Sobs ]

00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,377

Ike!

00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:44,006

Is it so hard to believe

that true love exists?

00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,676

This is nuts.

00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,350

Mom, Dad, have you ever met

Ike's kindergarten teacher?

00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,021

Miss Stevenson?

Yes. She's very nice.

00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,231

Yeah.

Well, she likes Ike a whole lot.

00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,274

That's great.

00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,651

Yeah, except it's maybe

not perfectly great,

00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:07,070

because to some degree, Ike

and Miss Stevenson are having --

00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,071

Spider-man!

00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,115

I'm spaceman!

00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,784

Yes, Ike.

You like Spider-man, don't you?

00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,247

Mom, there might be something

that you should look into

00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,832

about Ike staying after school

all the time --

00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,834

Waah!

Punkin.

00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,879

Mommy, I love you.

I love you.

00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,048

Mommy loves you, too, sweetie.

00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,009

Would you excuse us

for a second?

00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:32,429

You can't just expect me

to sit there and say nothing.

00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,098

No, Ike. I'm supposed to be

looking out for you -- What?

00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,558

I wasn't gonna just

blurt it out.

00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,852

I was gonna use some tact, but

you won't even let me -- what?

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,605

Nuh-unh!

That's not fair, Ike.

00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,818

Mom, I think maybe

you should talk to Ike

00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:47,903

about love and sex.

00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,031

Sex? Oh, boubbie,

Ike is much too young.

00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,204

- You're so full of crap, Foley.

- What?

00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,165

I did shoot him in the face --

twice!

00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,292

Ex-- Excuse me?

00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,503

My name is...Brad.

00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,506

And I-I need to report

a crime -- anonymously.

00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,091

Oh?

What's the crime?

00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,051

Well, I attend

South Park Elementary,

00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:14,513

a-and one of the teachers

is having sex with a student.

00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,765

- Oh, my God!

- Get a name!

00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,642

- Did you hear what he said?!

- This is terrible.

00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,103

Y-You did the right thing

telling the police, Brad.

00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,021

Now, who is the teacher?

What's his name?

00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,898

Well, it isn't a guy teacher.

It's a woman.

00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,275

- A woman?

- Yeah.

00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,318

She's having sex with a boy.

00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,237

Oh, but --

but she's ugly, right?

00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,154

Well, no, not really.

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,823

It's the kindergarten teacher,

Miss Stevenson.

00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,575

- The blonde?

- Yeah.

00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,035

Some young boy is having sex

with Miss Stevenson?

00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,036

Yes.

00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,247

Nice.

00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,456

Nice.

00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:43,333

What?

No. You don't understand --

00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,793

You sure they've had sex?

00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:45,794

Yeah.

00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,504

Has she performed oral sex

on him?

00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,339

I think so.

00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,257

Nice.

00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,383

Nice.

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,634

Nice.

00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,595

So wait.

W-What's the crime?

00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,388

The crime is she isn't doing it

with me.

00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,307

[ Laughter ]

00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,183

Hey!

He's totally underage!

00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,810

She's taking advantage of him!

00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,605

You're right. We're sorry.

This is serious.

00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,356

We need to track

this student down

00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,359

and give him his Luckiest Boy

in America medal right away.

00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,820

[ Laughter ]

00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,697

Aah!

00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,159

[ Bell rings ]

00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,829

Guys, can I talk to you?

00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,830

Sure, dude.

00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,749

I need you to keep quiet

about this, all right?

00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:24,833

My little brother and his te--

00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,335

Brahs, it's almost class time,

00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,420

I need you to start clearing

the hallways, all right?

00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,256

Not now, Cartman.

I have really serious problems.

00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,507

Dude, what's the matter?

00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,092

The kindergarten teacher

is having sex

00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,886

with my little brother.

00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,972

- Wow.

- Mrph?

00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,891

Damn, brah. Your little brother

is pretty cool.

00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,059

It's not cool.

00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,602

Ike isn't old enough

to understand!

00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,603

What's to understand?

00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,355

You get a boner,

slap her titties around some,

00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,774

and then stick it inside her

and pee.

00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,486

"Stick it inside her and pee."

00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,988

Well, okay. Fine. Unless you

don't want to get her pregnant.

00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,823

Then you pull it out

and pee on her leg.

00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,158

Dude, I really don't see

a problem.

00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,618

Yeah, I've got bigger things

to deal with.

00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:00,619

You guys don't understand!

00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,454

His wacko teacher

is like a schoolgirl.

00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164

They pass notes to each other

in the classroom.

00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,791

They have sex at her house

over lunch break,

00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,877

and during class they sneak out

and kiss in the hallways!

00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:10,754

They what?

00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,340

They sneak out during class

and make out in the hallways.

00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,508

Hang on a second.

00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,052

Making out in the hallways is

strictly against school policy.

00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,304

- Well, they're doing it.

- Yeah. Well, now it's personal.

00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,972

The hallways

are my jurisdiction.

00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,808

If there's a hallway infraction

going on,

00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,352

they're gonna have to deal with

The Dawg.

00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,064

Okay. Just continue

with your macaroni pictures.

00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,316

Teacher has to step out

for a second.

00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,735

Uh, Ike,

could you help me out, please?

00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,197

Oh, Ike.

00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,408

I just had to have

a second alone with you.

00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,368

I like baba better.

00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:43,954

I got your love letter,

and I wrote you one back.

00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,915

Oh, just one kiss to hold me

over for the rest of class.

00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,918

Hall infraction!

00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,629

Oh, uh, we were just

heading back in.

00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:53,797

You got a hall pass, brah?!

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,299

I don't need a hall pass.

I'm a teacher.

00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,759

Yeah?

Well, where's his hall pass?

00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,052

Look.

Just let us get back in --

00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,262

Get down on the floor!

00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,847

We're going back inside!

00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473

You like bear mace, ice head?!

00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,683

Bear mace?!

00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,309

You're going with Christ!

00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,103

Aah!

00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,522

And that's what I got,

principal brah.

00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,816

These two were in the hallways,

making out.

00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,651

She had those love letters

on her person.

00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,529

"Ike, I long to feel

your arms around me"?

00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,739

Miss Stevenson,

00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,324

y-you're having a relationship

with this student?

00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:24,494

Yes. During class time,

without a hall pass.

00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,996

This is unbelievable.

00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,999

I know. It's like a hall pass

doesn't even matter to her.

00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,169

Miss Stevenson, I will need to

inform the police.

00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:33,295

Oh, God.

00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,006

You just dealt with The Dawg,

bitch.

00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,841

[ Sirens wailing ]

00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,259

[ Shutters clicking ]

00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,472

Sorry we have to do this,

but the lady principal insisted.

00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,348

What's going on?

00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:48,018

The kindergarten teacher

is suspected of having sex

00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:49,019

with a student.

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,562

With a student?

00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,564

But...she's a woman.

00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,441

Yeah.

I know.

00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:57,319

But...she's hot.

00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,988

Wow.

I think I owe you one, Cartman.

00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,116

You don't owe me anything.

My hallways are clean.

00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,833

Ike, I didn't tell on you.

00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,668

You got busted

by the hallway monitor.

00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:16,880

Okay. Okay.

00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,548

I did have something

to do with it.

00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,926

But someday you're gonna realize

it was for the best.

00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,095

You are dead to me.

00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,639

What?

00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:29,434

I said you're dead to me.

00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,478

I'm dead to you?

00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,564

You're dead to me, Kyle.

00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,317

I'm at the police station.

00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,027

They say they found

some evidence.

00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,529

I'm so scared!

00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,449

Listen.

I want you to know it's okay.

00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,911

If anybody tries to talk to you,

you don't need to say anything.

00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:52,165

Just leave it to me.

I know a way out of this.

00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,710

Tom, an elementary school

teacher is under arrest

00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:59,381

for allegedly having an affair

with one of her young students.

00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,384

The case is shocking

due mostly to the fact

00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,095

that the teacher is pretty hot,

Tom.

00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,639

If the accusations are true,

then...

00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,765

Damn.

00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,517

Uh, it looks like the defendant

and her lawyer

00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,018

are about to give a statement,

Tom.

00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,230

I am deeply sorry to announce

00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,774

that the allegations against me

are true.

00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,401

Over the past several weeks,

00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,820

I have been having

physical relations

00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,864

with one of my students.

00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,575

Nice.

00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,034

Nice.

00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,913

I know my actions were wrong,

but I can not be fully to blame.

00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,542

You see...I am an alcoholic.

00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,586

Ohh.

00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,588

Yes, I'm afraid it's true.

00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,506

- Oh, no!

- What?

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,507

I don't believe it.

00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,968

She's using

the Mel Gibson defense.

00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,763

I am a perfectly good person,

but when I drink

00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:53,059

the alcohol makes me say and do

things I wouldn't normally do.

00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,519

Well, that explains it.

00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,062

Do we still press charges?

00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,814

Who are we gonna convict --

Johnnie Walker?

00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,524

Poor woman.

She's a victim.

00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,776

Yeah.

She's a hot victim.

00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:06,364

My client has agreed to check

herself into rehab immediately.

00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,699

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,409

- Yeah!

- Good luck, ma'am!

00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,077

You can beat your alcoholism!

00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,704

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,707

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:22,923

Alcohol is a crutch, which we

use to medicate ourselves,

00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051

to -- to cover up

emotional baggage from our past.

00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,554

Was there ever a history

of sexual abuse in your family?

00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,974

No, but my Uncle used to ask me

and my twin sister to kiss

00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,809

and he'd take pictures.

00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,104

Nice.

00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,690

Congratulations, Miss Stevenson.

00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,193

All better now!

00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,905

[ Engine starts ]

00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,032

[ Music continues ]

00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:55,413

Ike!

00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,707

Miss Stevenson!

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,543

Ike, we have to get out of here.

00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,295

They'll never

let us be together.

00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,965

I think...

I think we should go to Milan,

00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,716

like we always talked about.

00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,719

Yay!

Milan!

00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,306

Get your things together.

We don't have much time.

00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,519

[ Banging ]

00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,646

Ike, you okay?

00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,107

- [ Dramatic music plays ]

- Ike?

00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,567

Ike!

00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,200

Are you sure you're not lying,

Foley?

00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,284

No!

Really!

00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,496

I shot both of them!

They weren't even doin' nothing!

00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,540

Help! Please!

I need your help!

00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,708

That teacher, Miss Stevenson,

00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,501

she --

she's left town with my son!

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,628

I got a note saying

they're going to Milan!

00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,963

You're kidding.

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,548

- No! It's true!

- Damn it!

00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,467

Where were all these sexed-up

teachers when I was a kid?!

00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,011

This is serious!

00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,972

Yeah. A boy is going to Milan

with a beautiful older woman.

00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598

Quick.

Call the FBI.

00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,267

[ Laughter ]

00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,768

Are you going to do nothing?!

00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,854

All right. All right.

We'll make a report.

00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,439

Jesus.

00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,192

There you are.

What are doing?

00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,610

You giving up, brah?

00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,030

Dude, my brother's in Milan.

There's nothing I can do.

00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,156

No.

They haven't left yet.

00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,991

Their flight

is tomorrow morning.

00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,159

How do you know that?

00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,661

I had Beth check out

their Travelocity account.

00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,747

- Who's Beth?

- Beth is my bitch.

00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,415

I've put a whole crew together,

brah.

00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,083

I'm gonna get that

hallway-defiling slut

00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,084

no matter what it takes.

00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,003

Are you in?

00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,297

[ Rock music plays ]

00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,799

CARTMAN: ♪ I got

some bad-ass guys to help me ♪

00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:33,011

♪ I only had to pay them

15 bucks ♪

00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,598

♪ You think you got away

with not having a hall pass ♪

00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,643

♪ You won't get away from me,

'cause I'm The Dawg ♪

00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,103

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,230

♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪

00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,191

Think you can get away

with not having a hall pass?

00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,525

Think again.

00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,153

How was that, Butters?

00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,405

That was pretty good!

00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,032

Can we get going now, please?

00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,533

Yep.

We're all done with the video.

00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:56,701

Let's move out!

00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,208

Ike, is that all you're gonna do

is watch TV?

00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,960

I love TV.

Yay!

00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,670

But what about me?

00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,006

I want to talk.

00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,217

[ Laughter on television ]

00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,968

Everyone get a good look

at our fugitive.

00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,678

I want her taken down fast

and clean.

00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:16,679

She ran away.

00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,100

Now she got to deal with

The Dawg, huh?

00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,228

Beth found out they have a room

at the Airport Hilton.

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,854

We need to search it.

00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:25,855

Here's the hotel!

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,108

Beth, tell Leeroy

to pull up here.

00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,318

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,070

All right! Let's go!

Move out!

00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,905

Hey. You can't leave

your car there.

00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,032

It's okay.

I'm a hallway monitor.

00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,535

Keep separation.

Leeroy, check out our 20.

00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,661

Can I help you?

00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,830

You seen this woman, brah?

She's staying here.

00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,206

Who are you?

00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,707

♪ I am The Dawg ♪

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,668

♪ The big, bad Dawg ♪

00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,420

I think you should leave

before I call the police.

00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,880

Beth, bear-mace that guy!

00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,340

Aah!

00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,508

Let's check out the rooms!

00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,885

Leeroy and Kyle, go that way!

Beth, you come with me!

00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,763

We need police here right away!

00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,350

Yes?

00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,227

I'm looking for this teacher.

She in your room, brah?

00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,104

Do you mind keeping it down?

00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,397

Keep your mouth shut, brah!

00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,816

[ Sirens wailing ]

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,571

Oh, no.

Ike, they're onto us!

00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,197

Oh, no!

00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,700

Hurry, darling.

We have to get out of here.

00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,742

What have we got?!

What have we got?!

00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,579

- Who called 911?

- They went that way!

00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,831

Look out!

They have bear mace!

00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,251

Open up!

I'm with The Dawg!

00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,377

Oh, crap!

00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,796

- You freeze right there!

- [ Gun cocks ]

00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,884

Come on, darling.

00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,302

Hey!

00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,471

I got 'em, Dawg.

Fifth floor.

00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,056

Praise Christ!

Let's go!

00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,766

Ike, run!

00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,560

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,770

Beth, bear-mace that guy!

And that guy!

00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,106

- Aah!

- Aah! Aah!

00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,196

Freeze, bitch!

00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,488

- Freeze!

- Hands up! Hands up!

00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:58,907

Don't move!

Don't move!

00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,326

It's all right.

There's been a misunderstanding.

00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,161

I'm a hall monitor.

00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,164

This fugitive is trying to avoid

a hallway infraction

00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,790

by skipping off to Milan.

00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:11,669

Hey, that is the teacher

we just got the report about.

00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,922

All right, Miss Stevenson.

You've got nowhere to go.

00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132

Why couldn't you

just leave us alone?

00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,551

- All we wanted was to love.

- Get down!

00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,095

We can do this the easy way

or we can do it Dawg style.

00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,391

She got a scarf on her head,

huh?

00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:29,437

It's all over, Ike --

Milan, the house in Tuscany.

00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,356

They'll never let us

be together.

00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,359

We have to go

with the backup plan.

00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,656

Now, hold on.

Don't do anything foolish.

00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,449

We can talk about this.

00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,077

You can't accept our love,

00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:47,038

so then we can only be together

in eternity.

00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,374

No!

Ike, don't do it.

00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,126

Dinosaur funny bad bad.

00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586

Ike, please.

00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:56,005

I know your first love

seems like the only love.

00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,507

But trust me, it's not.

00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,175

You have so much life

ahead of you.

00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,681

You, who don't believe

in true love, don't understand.

00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,557

Ike, you need to have a life.

00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:07,725

Have fun.

00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,019

Then ruin it by having

a serious relationship.

00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,063

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,274

I'm afraid you're too late.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,901

Are you ready, my love?

Here we go.

00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,778

One! Two! Three!

00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,030

Aah!

00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,407

Ike?

00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,786

Yay!

00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,371

Ike!

00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,292

Well, looks like once again

The Dawg has prevailed.

00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,626

I hope you've learned, kids,

00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,128

that if you don't go

with Christ,

00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879

you could end up

just like that splattered bitch

00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,047

down on the pavement.

00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,341

Hey, kid, you need to

get off the roof now.

00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,261

That's cool. I'm done making

my video anyways.

00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,929

[ Static ]