Загадка о дерьме в писсуаре
Описание
Мистер Маки пытается узнать, кто нагадил в писсуар. Расследование этой истории стараниями Картмана неожиданно пересекается с расследованием событий 11 сентября.
Субтитры
rus__shoke.srt
rus__shoke.srt
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перевод: shoke (shoke@sibmail.com)
тайминг: shoke, Jah(lion)/Eric ;)
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специально для http://uzhe.vtomske.ru и http://sp.fanclub.cc
перевод: shoke (shoke@sibmail.com)
тайминг: shoke, Jah(lion)/Eric ;)
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:27,300
специально для http://uzhe.vtomske.ru и http://sp.fanclub.cc
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- И так клас, Джон Ли был оправдан. И сказал он, спасибо черножоп...
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-О, здравствуйте мистер Меки.
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-Все девочки, выйдете в коридор, пожалуйста.
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Мне нужно поговорить с мальчиками.
00:00:52,865 --> 00:00:55,055
-Мальчики у нас очень серьезная проблема...
00:00:55,085 --> 00:00:57,245
-Я только что вернулся из мужского туалета
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и там, кто-то, сходил по большому в писсуар...
00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:04,415
-Что такое писсуар?
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:06,175
-Специальный туалет куда писают.
00:01:06,215 --> 00:01:09,945
-Какой-то шутник, насрал в писсуар.
00:01:09,985 --> 00:01:16,545
-И я хочу, что бы тот кто это сделал, вышел сюда, или я накажу всех.
00:01:16,585 --> 00:01:20,215
-Кто мог насрать в писсуар? Это б-б-безсмысленнное преступление...
00:01:20,245 --> 00:01:25,295
-Мистер Меки, вы можете смеяться, но я думаю это своего рода заговор... так же как 11ое сентября (9/11)
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,925
-О Боже, опять началось! 11ое Сентября (9/11), небыло заговором, толстожопый!
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,855
-Че правда? Ты веришь всему что тебе говорят Кайл?!
00:01:31,895 --> 00:01:35,105
-Извините, может вернемся писсуарам?
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-Вы видимо не понимаете, насколько это серьезно.
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-Ну и кто обгадил писсуар?
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-О, вы думаете это смешно?
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-Мкей, Мкей! Самое смешное начнется, когда сюда приедет полиция!
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-Извините мистер Меки, но у нас нет никаких следов, что бы начать расследование.
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-Но должен быть какой-то мотив, никто не будет срать в писсуар без причины?
00:01:57,815 --> 00:02:00,895
-Я не понимаю, кому выгодно было надристать в писсуар?
00:02:00,935 --> 00:02:05,415
-Это загадка слишком сложная для меня. Я думаю нам нужно позвать "Hardly boys".
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Hardly Boys, двое молодых детективов, которые раскрывают тайны..
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Hardly Boys и экскременты в писсуаре.
00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:24,085
-И так Hardly Boys, у нас нет никаких подозреваемых, и никаких зацепок
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-Это точно загадка.
-И так Hardly Boys, у нас нет никаких подозреваемых, и никаких зацепок
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-Это точно загадка.
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-Да очень большая.
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-Тот кто это сделал, должно быть ненавидит школу.
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-Ооо, мне кажется, у меня есть догадка.
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-Правда?
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-Даа, это точно догадка.
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-Оу, я тоже начал догадываться!
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-Моя догадка, ведет меня в ту сторону.
-Оу, я тоже начал догадываться!
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-Моя догадка, ведет меня в ту сторону.
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-Ооо, теперь я точно догадался.
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-Моя догадка прямо распирает меня!
00:02:50,425 --> 00:02:52,985
-Моя догадка, хочет, что бы я пошел в ту сторону!
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-Ооо давай следовать той догадке!
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-Нашли уже того кто обгадил писсуар?
-Нет еще.
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-Они и не будут искать.
00:03:05,795 --> 00:03:09,345
-Они возьмут кого-нибудь, скажут, что это он, и заставят нас всех поверить
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-9/11 снова повторяется.
00:03:11,105 --> 00:03:13,015
-Может ты уже заткнешься, насчет 9/11?
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-Кайл, почему ты так боишься правды?
00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:18,175
-Потому что каждый, кто думает, что 9/11 был заговор - пенсионер!
00:03:18,205 --> 00:03:19,075
-Серьезно?
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:25,425
-А ты знал, что 1/4 всех американцев, думает, что 9/11 это заговор. То есть ты хочешь сказать, что четверть всех американцев - пенсионеры?!
00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:28,115
-Да, я говорю, что 1/4 всех американцев - пенсионеры!
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-Как минимум четверть.
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-Давайте проведем тест. Нас четверо, ты пенсионер, это 1/4.
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-Уже очень много людей, знающих правду, Кайл.
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-Баттерс!
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-Здорова пацаны!
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-Баттерс, ты действительно думаешь, что 9/11 было террористическим актом?
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-Или это было нечто другое?
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-Нуу, я слышал, что в 9/11 замешан президент Д.Буш.
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-Ха, вы слышали?
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-Кто тебе это сказал?
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-Эрик.
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-Я закончил.
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-Баттерс, ты серьезно веришь в это?
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-Ну, я, имею ввиду, никогда до конца не знаешь,
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-Правительство готово на всё.
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-Правительство и корпорации во главе с евреями, виноваты в том, что случилось 9/11.
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-Точно Баттерс.
00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:06,415
-Черт побери! Ты видишь что происходит, когда начинаешь нести эту тупую чушь толстожопый?
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:07,705
-Что?! Люди начинают видеть правду?!
00:04:07,735 --> 00:04:08,705
-Можно я пойду?
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-Парни вы слепые!
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Не могу поверить, вы верите, тому, что говорят СМИ! Я выясню правду, я раскрою этот заговор раз и навсегда!
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-О нет...
00:04:21,975 --> 00:04:25,125
Это плохо, задавать вопросы?
00:04:25,155 --> 00:04:28,275
Это плохо видеть правду?
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Я не могу слепо поверить в их версию, я могу провести свое расследование..
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Все доказательства ведут меня в одном направлении.
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Я как Чарли Шин в "Блаженный Дьявол"
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Мне нужно знать, что действительно случилось, одиннадцатого сентября (9/11)
00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:53,465
Что действительно случилось одиннадцатого сентября?...
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-Конечно!
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Это так очевидно, как мы не видели этого раньше?...
00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:07,555
-Это мая лягуфка, у нее нет имени, это лягуфка а не жаба, потому фто жабы не булькают, я фитаю фто лягуфки лучфие домафние животные.
00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:13,985
-Хорошо, спасибо Леррой, спасибо что показал нам свою, чертову маленькую лягушку.
00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:14,895
-Есть еще желающие выступить?
-Хорошо, спасибо Леррой, спасибо что показал нам свою, чертову маленькую лягушку.
00:05:14,895 --> 00:05:16,945
-Есть еще желающие выступить?
00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:22,395
-Ладно, Эрик, ты можешь выйти.
00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:30,385
-Сегодня я горд вам представить, мой шокирующий доклад -
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-"Правда об атаках 11ого сентября"
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-О господи!
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-Нам сказали, что пожар после попадания самолета, расплавил стальные перегородки башен
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-из-за которых они рухнули.
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-Но знаете ли вы, что температуры горения керосина недостаточно, что бы расплавить сталь?
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:48,005
-Нам сказали, что в Пентагон, тоже врезался самолет.
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Но взгляните на это фото Пентагона, дыра недостаточно большая,
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и если самолет врезался, где остатки от него?
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-И так главный вопрос, если террористы непричастны к 9/11, то кто?
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Вы помните что было 2 башни?
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2-1=1, 1 и 1 это 11, 2-1=1, 1 и 1
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далее 9 членов совета директоров, это 9 1 1 - 9/11
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И теперь отнимите от 11и 9 и прибавьте к 11, получится 12.
00:06:15,365 --> 00:06:19,515
-Что ведет нас прямо к главному виновному в 9/11...
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-КАЙЛ!
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-Я?!?!
00:06:22,795 --> 00:06:24,535
-12 состоит из цифр 1 и 2
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-Так же как и вчера, кто-то посрал(2) в писсуар, вместо того что бы поссать(1).
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Сложите 1 и 2 и 9/11 и вы получите 914, отбросьте 4 и вы получите 91
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-Точно такой же результат(91) получил Кайл по устному экзамену, через 12 дней после 11ого сентября.
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-Кто самый главный подозреваемый 9/11?
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Кайл!
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-Кто отвественнен за падение башен?! Кайл!
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-Кто обосрал писсуар? Кайл!
00:06:43,345 --> 00:06:52,505
-Но самое ужасное доказательство я обнаружил, когда увеличил картинку, сначала изображение было размыто, но когда я обработал изображение...
00:06:54,385 --> 00:06:57,935
-Ты почти ушел от правосудия, пронырливый говноед!
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,105
-Привет Токен...
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,355
-Ты будешь сегодня вечером смотреть матч, Баттерс?
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,805
-Хорошо! ХОРОШО! Я НЕ несу ответственности за 9/11!
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,355
-Пиздец!
00:07:23,045 --> 00:07:25,285
-Привет бубачка, как дела в школе?
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-Ужасающе
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-Да ладно, школа не такая уж и плохая
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-...все думают, что я ответственен за 11ое сентября(9/11)...
00:07:31,615 --> 00:07:33,275
-Что, ЧТО, ЧТОО?!?!
00:07:33,545 --> 00:07:35,245
-Мы должны что-то предпринять.
00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:39,115
-Наши дети до сих пор не понимают, что случилось 9/11.
00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:43,805
-Да нам нужно еще раз поговорить с детьми в школе, что бы они поняли, что произошло на самом деле.
00:07:43,835 --> 00:07:46,065
-А что на самом деле произошло?
00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:49,935
-Есть аргументированные доказательства, того что нам говорили - неправда.
00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:51,465
-О неет, опять...
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-Точно, вы знаете о том, что видели подрывников в подвале зданий?
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-Неет..
-пенсионер..
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-Слушайте, во что бы вы не верили,
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Факт заключается в том, что КТО-ТО,
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наложил в школьный писсуар, и у нас до сих пор нет объяснений этому.
00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:07,035
-Мистер Меки, у нас есть более важные дела сейчас.
наложил в школьный писсуар, и у нас до сих пор нет объяснений этому.
00:08:07,035 --> 00:08:09,765
-Мистер Меки, у нас есть более важные дела сейчас.
00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:10,915
-Более важные?!
00:08:10,955 --> 00:08:14,745
Вы не одна из тех, кто ходит в мужской туалет
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Вы просыпаетесь рано
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в учительской нет кофе
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вы заходите в сортир, а там лежит кусок гавна в писсуаре
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как будто смеется над вами!
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-Он прав, говно могли положить в писсуар, что бы прикрыть то что случилось 9/11!
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-Нет, я не говорил что это связано.
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-Откуда нам знать, что не связано?
00:08:33,665 --> 00:08:37,045
Нужно не бояться задавать вопросы!
00:08:37,085 --> 00:08:42,085
-Это очевидно, что бы пойти дальше, нужно узнать, кто стоит за этим, раз и навсегда!
00:08:42,115 --> 00:08:44,585
-Кто же еще мог это сделать?
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,965
-Это слишком сложная загадка для меня, я думаю нам надо позвать Hardly Boys.
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,145
-О нет, только не чертовых...
00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:54,925
Hardly Boys, двое молодых детективов, которые раскрывают тайны.
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:59,865
Hardly Boys и дело о заговоре Мирового Торгового Центра.
00:09:00,545 --> 00:09:03,005
-И так это будет долгое и сложное расследование Hardly Boys,
00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:06,445
две башни, находились здесь, а теперь их нет...
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-И никто не знает кто несет ответственность за это?
00:09:08,785 --> 00:09:11,975
-Есть несколько теорий, но точно мы незнаем.
00:09:12,075 --> 00:09:15,605
-Мммм кому выгоднее всего, что бы 2 здания исчезли?
00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:18,685
-Ооо, я начинаю догадываться
-Серьезно?
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-Да, я точно начинаю догадываться
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-Оо,оо у меня тоже появилась догадка.
00:09:24,615 --> 00:09:27,445
Да, Да, моя догадка прямо распирает меня.
00:09:27,475 --> 00:09:28,625
-Моя ведет меня на лево.
00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:32,035
-Ооох Френк, моя сейчас разорвет меня.
00:09:32,065 --> 00:09:33,695
Я думаю, мы должны следовать ей.
00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:35,285
-Хорошо, давай следовать твоей догадке.
00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:40,365
-Господи помоги...
00:09:56,568 --> 00:09:57,508
-Кайл!
00:09:58,168 --> 00:10:02,238
-Чувак, ты можешь мне сказать, почему ЦРУшники пришли ко мне и расспрашивали насчет тебя?
00:10:02,238 --> 00:10:02,308
-Я не знаю, чувак! Как будто кто-то перевернул все с ног наголову.
-Чувак, ты можешь мне сказать, почему ЦРУшники пришли ко мне и расспрашивали насчет тебя?
00:10:02,308 --> 00:10:05,848
-Я не знаю, чувак! Как будто кто-то перевернул все с ног наголову.
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,328
-Но зачем ты втянул меня в это?
00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:08,558
-Я не виноват!
00:10:08,598 --> 00:10:13,928
-Ладно, смотри, я пошарил в интернете, и нашел организацию, которая может доказать что ты невиноват в то что случилось 9/11
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:14,688
Правда?!
00:10:14,728 --> 00:10:17,098
-Пошли, выйдем с заднего хода, что бы они нас не увидели
00:10:17,128 --> 00:10:19,428
-Одна вещ, которую я должен знать, перед тем как мы пойдем..
00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:22,748
-Ты точно не виноват в том, что случилось 9/11?
00:10:24,988 --> 00:10:25,878
-Чувак... О_О
00:10:26,928 --> 00:10:28,868
-Это все что мне надо...
00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:36,028
-Вы наверное думаете что я сдался, перестал искать того кто насрал в писсуар?
00:10:36,058 --> 00:10:39,468
-Может быть вы думаете что это несерьезное преступление?
00:10:39,498 --> 00:10:43,518
-Это мистер Vinnyswaler, уборщик.
00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:49,498
-Это человек, которому пришлось вычищать говно из писсуара
00:10:49,528 --> 00:10:54,258
Мистер Vinnyswaler зарабатывает 6 баксов в час, в лучшем случае.
00:10:54,298 --> 00:11:01,138
-У него 3ое детей, херовая машина, ему приходится драить сортиры руками.
00:11:01,178 --> 00:11:03,398
-И когда он зашел в мужской туалет,
00:11:03,398 --> 00:11:05,778
он увидел огромный вонючий рогалик коричневого цвета, уставившийся прямо ему в лицо.
00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:08,968
-И так если вы срете в писсуар,
00:11:08,998 --> 00:11:14,158
это тоже самое если бы вы надристали мистеру Vinnyswaler на голову.
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:17,548
-А, вы думаете это смешно, да?
00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:20,278
-Мистер Меки мы его поймали!
-Что?
00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:23,488
-Мы поймали того, кто это сделал.
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:32,678
-Привет, мы надеемся вы нам поможете? Моего друга обвиняют в том, что произошло 9/11.
00:11:33,788 --> 00:11:36,108
-О Господи, заходите дети.
00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:39,508
-Меня это не удивляет, все больше и больше людей обвиняют в том что произошло день за днем
00:11:40,478 --> 00:11:41,148
-Правда?
00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:44,618
-Ага, это отвлекает людей, не дает увидеть что происходит на самом деле.
00:11:44,658 --> 00:11:48,338
-Я знаю это звучит бредово, но в том что случилось 9/11 виновато наше правительство.
00:11:48,368 --> 00:11:51,078
-Для того что бы они имели поддержку, для атаки на ближний восток.
00:11:51,118 --> 00:11:53,538
-Что? Нет, нет нет!
-Я знаю, в это трудно поверить.
00:11:53,568 --> 00:11:55,958
-Чувак, зачем правительству уничтожать собственные здания?
00:11:55,988 --> 00:12:03,378
-Это называется саботаж, это выглядит, как будто на вас нападает враг, заставляет народ подняться и "махать флагами"
00:12:03,408 --> 00:12:07,198
-А потом дает возможность вторгнутся в любую страну, в которую вы захотите!
00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:08,558
-Это по пенсионерски
00:12:08,598 --> 00:12:12,588
-Если вы повнимательнее посмотрите на доказательства, вы увидите огромные дыры в этой истории.
00:12:12,618 --> 00:12:15,448
-Огромные дыры были и в "Чайной" революции, но это не значит, что она было неправильно.
00:12:15,478 --> 00:12:16,868
-Вы не понимаете!
00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:22,688
Правительство контролирует всё! СМИ, корпорации, они могут сделать все что захотят!
00:12:22,718 --> 00:12:23,948
-Вот, взгляните!
00:12:23,988 --> 00:12:27,898
-Посмотрите на этикетку, давайте, прочтите!
00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:28,538
-Код 234
00:12:28,578 --> 00:12:30,918
-Мы думаем их, прислало правительствоЫ
00:12:30,948 --> 00:12:32,998
-Что это?
-Это Сибирская язва.
00:12:33,028 --> 00:12:34,018
-СИБИРСКАЯ ЯЗВА?!
00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:36,518
-Когда-нибудь мы используем эти доказательства против них.
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,968
-Стэн нас не должны, видеть с этим…
00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:50,158
-Зачем Клайд, зачем ты это сделал?
00:12:51,158 --> 00:12:52,258
-Я не знаю
00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:55,388
-Ты достал всю школу Клайд!
00:12:55,428 --> 00:12:58,448
ты достал 300 человек, пользующихся мужским туалетом.
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,178
-Ты решил стать комедиантом?
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:02,898
отложил личинку в писсуар
00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:05,528
Что бы все любовались.
00:13:06,538 --> 00:13:08,368
-Ok, ok! Ты думаешь это смешно?!
00:13:08,398 --> 00:13:09,718
-А вот остальные нет!
00:13:09,758 --> 00:13:16,148
им пришлось смотреть на этот писсуар где ты оставил свою коричневую куколку!
00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:19,158
-Мистер Меки, пришли родители Клайда.
00:13:19,188 --> 00:13:23,618
-Отлично, давай посмотрим, что скажут твои родители, насчет твоих какашечных игр
00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:29,298
-Заходите, я как раз пытаюсь добиться от вашего сына объяснения, почему он насрал в писсуар.
00:13:29,568 --> 00:13:33,218
-Мистер Меки, вы должны кое-что знать.
00:13:39,178 --> 00:13:41,738
-Извините, но похоже произошло недоразумение.
00:13:41,768 --> 00:13:44,128
-Проходите господин президент
00:13:46,418 --> 00:13:48,978
-Э, господин президент, мое имя..
-Заткнули ебала!
00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:51,538
Вы думаете, мы незнаем, как вас зовут? Мы знаем все!
00:13:51,568 --> 00:13:54,058
Мы контролируем всё!
00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:58,768
-Мы все, очень старались, что бы доказательства нашей вины остались в тайне.
00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:01,128
-Но вы все равно продолжали копать.
00:14:01,948 --> 00:14:02,778
-Правда?
00:14:02,818 --> 00:14:05,268
-Вы не сможете скрыть это, люди знают!
00:14:05,298 --> 00:14:08,228
-Люди? Вы имеете в виду быдло…
00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:11,468
-Хорошо, что мы вас поймали...
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:15,168
-Осталась только одна вещ... которую нужно исправить
00:14:15,198 --> 00:14:16,808
Подождите! Что вы делаете?
00:14:16,848 --> 00:14:20,018
-Боюсь, ты уже слишком давно перешел черту.
00:14:20,048 --> 00:14:25,728
-Нет! Вы не можете так поступить! Пожалуйста! Я прекращу! Я снесу мой вебсайт!
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:29,908
-Слишком поздно
00:14:31,818 --> 00:14:33,518
-ГОСПОДИ ВСЕМОГУЩИЙ!
00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:37,588
-Хахаха, он умер как свинья.
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:39,648
-Некоторые свиньи никогда не учатся
00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:42,008
-Данунахуй...
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,588
-Он был прав, это вы виноваты в том, что случилось 9/11
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:48,208
-Да, довольно просто догадаться.
00:14:48,328 --> 00:14:52,328
-Все что нужно было сделать, это заложить взрывные заряды в подвалы зданий
00:14:52,368 --> 00:14:55,608
позже 11ого сентября, мы подстроили похищение 4ех самолетов
00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:56,798
хотя на самом деле мы посадили их в Пенсильвании.
00:14:56,838 --> 00:15:07,208
Потом направили 2 военных самолета на башни близнецы, после того как выстрелили по Пентагону, с одного из самолетов F-15, крылатой ракетой...
00:15:07,248 --> 00:15:12,498
-Это был самый интригующий и запутанный план саботажа в мире...
00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:16,398
-Серьезно?!
-Зачем?
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,208
-Самый главный повод на земле: Деньги
00:15:19,248 --> 00:15:22,978
-Башни упали, а американское быдло машет флажками.
00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,108
-Наконец мы смогли вторгнуться в Ирак.
00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:28,888
-Я получил доступ к нефти, которая сделать нас богаче как никогда!
00:15:28,918 --> 00:15:30,398
-Прелестные денежки!
00:15:32,338 --> 00:15:33,368
-???
00:15:33,408 --> 00:15:35,188
-В этом замешано всё правительство?
00:15:35,228 --> 00:15:38,388
-Мы все в курсе.
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:40,118
-Прощайте мальчики.
00:15:45,088 --> 00:15:46,698
-Черт, я промазал по пацанам.
00:15:46,898 --> 00:15:48,978
-Чтоб тебя черти дрючили, Чейни!
00:15:49,108 --> 00:15:50,538
-Кайл, бежим!
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,078
-Убеееейтее ииих!
00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:58,928
-Внимание ученики
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,948
-Клайд непричастен к обосраному писсуару,
00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:06,168
-Потому что у Клайда уже запор 5ть дней
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,248
Ok?
00:16:07,428 --> 00:16:11,118
-Но кто бы это не сделал, этот непозволительный акт вандализма писуаров,он пока еще не найден,
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,468
-Мужской туалет все еще закрыт.
-Мужской туалет все еще закрыт.
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,518
-Потому что один из вас, решил, что это будет замечательная идея
00:16:17,548 --> 00:16:20,088
снять штаны,
00:16:20,128 --> 00:16:22,718
поднять свои булки над писсуаром,
00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:26,328
и выдавить хот-дог "для бедных"
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,688
-Вы думаете это смешно?!?!
00:16:29,728 --> 00:16:32,218
-Я вам покажу что нет ничего смешного в том
00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:36,748
что бы пойти, в хороший беззащитный чистенький туалет
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,348
снять штаны,...
00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:41,998
повернутся, забраться на писсуар
00:16:42,038 --> 00:16:45,908
может быть даже раздвинуть булки руками,
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,588
и оставить в нем огромного жирного дракона, которого не видел еще свет.
00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:52,768
-ага, это ОЧЕНЬ смешно...
00:16:53,108 --> 00:16:58,458
-Я поймаю этого сукина сына, даже если это будет последнее, что я сделаю в жизни!
00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:07,745
-Ладно, теперь нам надо пересесть на автобус 65.
00:17:08,315 --> 00:17:10,985
-Мы сделали это чувак, мы будем дома, меньше чем через18 часов.
00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,865
-И тогда мы расскажем всем, что мы видели
00:17:12,895 --> 00:17:15,315
-мне кажется это неправильно
00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:18,915
-ага, мои глаза, наконец открыты, как будто только что родился
00:17:18,945 --> 00:17:20,045
-нуу да
00:17:20,085 --> 00:17:23,295
но тебе не кажется что мы слишком легко, сбежали из белого дома?
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:28,745
-Я имею в виду, что это Белый Дом, ну а мы просто..сбежали..
00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:31,985
-Ну, парень, может мы супер крутые плохиши, ты об этом не подумал?
00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:38,865
-Чувак, ты жив?!
00:17:42,585 --> 00:17:44,175
-Вернись!
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,135
-Нет! Пожалуйста! Пожалуйста!
00:18:05,175 --> 00:18:07,475
-Чувак? Что, черт возьми, происходит?
00:18:07,515 --> 00:18:09,785
-Не убивайте меня, я лишь делал то, что они сказали
00:18:09,815 --> 00:18:10,745
-Кто что сказал?
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:14,335
-У меня семья! Пожалуйста, не убивайте!
00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:16,255
-Чувак, мы не собираемся тебя убивать.
00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:19,805
-О БОЖЕ!
00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:21,715
-Тут небезопасно парни, следуйте за мной!
00:18:21,745 --> 00:18:23,485
-А ТЫ БЛЯТЬ КТО ТАКОЙ?!
00:18:23,525 --> 00:18:25,235
-НЕТ ВРЕМЕНИ, БЕГОМ!
00:18:31,995 --> 00:18:35,095
-Может вы нам расскажешь, что черт возьми происходит? Кто ты?
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:38,655
-Я детектив, и я боюсь дети, вы уже два раза перешли "черту".
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,695
-Вы думаете, все это как-то связано?
00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:44,405
-Не я, мои сыновья сыщики. Заходите парни.
00:18:46,415 --> 00:18:50,775
-Мои парни расследовали кто насрал в писсуаре, и наткнулись на нечто необычное, на улику.
00:18:50,805 --> 00:18:53,855
-На улику...
-Это улика дала нам обоим зацепку..
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:59,445
-Эта ниточка привела их к обществу "Заговор 9/11", где они нашли еще больше зацепок
00:18:59,485 --> 00:19:02,295
-У меня появлялись догадки каждые 2 минуты.
00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:06,725
-У меня была такая распирающая догадка, что меня чуть не переклинило.
00:19:06,765 --> 00:19:12,165
-Эти догадки вели к тому что, весь "заговор 9/11", может быть опровергнут научно.
00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:14,375
-И тогда Френку пришла самая большая догадка.
00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:16,805
-Она былааа огрооооооооомной.
00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:22,035
-Все сайты посвященные "Заговору 9/11", поддерживает правительство,.
00:19:22,075 --> 00:19:27,225
-"Заговор 9/11" это правительственный заговор...
00:19:27,255 --> 00:19:28,525
-О Боже...
00:19:28,565 --> 00:19:31,375
-Зачем правительству, делать так чтобы люди думали, что это правительство замешано в 9/11
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:34,925
-Правительству нужна сила, что бы иметь полный контроль.
00:19:34,995 --> 00:19:40,275
-Какой наилучший способ заставить людей боятся, правительства? Убедить их в том, что то что произошло 11ого сентября - изощренный план, придуманный правительством, что бы добиться своих целей?
00:19:40,275 --> 00:19:40,645
-Достаточно, Хардли.
-Какой наилучший способ заставить людей боятся, правительства? Убедить их в том, что то что произошло 11ого сентября - изощренный план, придуманный правительством, что бы добиться своих целей?
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:42,505
-Достаточно, Хардли.
00:19:43,605 --> 00:19:45,115
-Не верьте тому, что он говорит, мальчики.
00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:48,425
Мы подстроили то что случилось 11ого сентября. Все доказательства здесь, в этой секретной папке.
00:19:48,425 --> 00:19:48,795
-Но вы ее никогда не получите...
Мы подстроили то что случилось 11ого сентября. Все доказательства здесь, в этой секретной папке.
00:19:48,795 --> 00:19:50,975
-Но вы ее никогда не получите...
00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:58,275
-Я так и знал! Вы не подстраивали 9/11, вы не застрелили того парня!
00:19:58,755 --> 00:20:00,365
-Мальчики вы не понимаете,
00:20:00,405 --> 00:20:02,615
люди должны думать, что мы всемогущи, что мы контролируем весь мир.
00:20:02,655 --> 00:20:08,035
что мы контролируем весь мир.
Если мы не контролировали 11ое сентября - значит мы не можем вообще ничего контролировать! :(
00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:10,495
-Почему вы просто не скажите правду людям?
00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:13,985
-Мы так и сделали, и почти все поверили в правду,
00:20:14,075 --> 00:20:16,855
но 1/4 нации - пенсионеры,
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:21,205
если они думают, что мы все контролируем
с помощью интер-корпораций, мы не против!
00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:26,435
-Только одна вещь, господин президент?
Откуда вы блять узнали, где мы?
00:20:29,265 --> 00:20:32,835
-Почему ты просто не пошел домой, чувак? Это все что нам нужно было сделать.
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,995
-Стэн? Что за хуйня?
00:20:35,035 --> 00:20:36,825
-Всё было спланировано.
00:20:36,865 --> 00:20:39,985
-Всё было спланировано. Почему?
00:20:40,015 --> 00:20:42,025
-Потому что это был я...
00:20:42,065 --> 00:20:45,005
-Я тот кто насрал в писсуар.
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:45,465
-Чего?
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,715
-Кабинки были заняты, я не хотел обосраться.
00:20:47,745 --> 00:20:49,605
-Я подумал насрать в писсуар это не преступление
00:20:49,635 --> 00:20:51,165
-И так ты обвинил правительство?
00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:57,335
-И правительство приняло обвинения, это добавило им очков в версии о "правительственном заговоре 9/11"
00:20:57,485 --> 00:20:59,705
-Ну блин, теперь все узнают
00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:02,985
-Почему эти дурацкие Hardly Boys, так хорошо умеют раскрывать секреты?
00:21:03,015 --> 00:21:04,005
-Так, подождите...
00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:07,555
Стэн насрал в писсуар, и он связался с сайтом "заговор 9/11"?
00:21:07,585 --> 00:21:09,785
Но сайт "заговора" поддерживался правительством?
00:21:09,815 --> 00:21:10,565
-Ага.
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:12,595
-Кто тогда несет ответственность за 11ое сентября?
00:21:12,635 --> 00:21:14,595
-В смысле? - Кучка ебанутых мусульман!
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,655
-Ага, ты что пенсионер?
00:21:19,065 --> 00:21:24,925
-Ну похоже эта тайна - раскрыта, настало время расплаты
00:21:27,505 --> 00:21:31,235
-Гадить в писсуар плохо
00:21:31,305 --> 00:21:35,715
-Как бы ты себя чувствовал, если кто-нибудь пришел к тебе домой,
00:21:35,755 --> 00:21:40,655
-Снял штаны, и надристал твоей маме прямо на лицо?
00:21:41,535 --> 00:21:43,405
-Ты думаешь это смешно?
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:44,865
-Да это просто уржатся можно!
eng__.srt
eng__.srt
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,446
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:32,950
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:39,999
And so, class, that is when
Jolie countered back to Aniston
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,501
and said things like --
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,045
Oh, hello, Mr. Mackey.
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,255
All the girls go out
in the hall, please.
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,050
I need to speak with the boys
of this class, m'kay.
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,513
Boys, we have
a very serious problem.
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,849
I've just come from
the men's restroom,
00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,103
and somebody went number two
in the urinal.
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,898
What's a urinal?
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,775
The wall toilet for peeing in.
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:09,612
And some jokester
took a poop in it, m'kay.
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,448
Now, I want whoever did it
to come forward right now,
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,077
and it will be less painful
for everybody, m'kay?
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,162
Who would take a dump
in the urinal?
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,914
It's such a s-senseless crime.
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,791
Mr. Mackey, I think
you might want to entertain
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,793
that this is some kind
of conspiracy.
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,086
Just like 9/11.
00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,504
Oh, God!
Here we go again.
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,589
9/11 was not a conspiracy,
fat-ass!
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:29,548
Oh, really?
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,342
Do you just believe everything
you're told, Kyle?
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,468
Excuse me!
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,595
Can we get back to the issue,
please?
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,973
You all don't seem to understand
how serious this is!
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,142
Now, who made dookie
in the urinal?
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,521
Oh, you think it's funny, huh?
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,022
M'kay!
M'kay!
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,359
You're gonna think it's real
funny when the police get here!
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,027
I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey,
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,404
but there just isn't really
any evidence to go on.
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,406
But there must have been
some motive.
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,326
Nobody would just dook
in the urinal for no reason.
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,287
But who would benefit
from crapping in the urinal?
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,456
This is too big a mystery
for me.
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,167
I think we better call in
the Hardly Boys.
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,384
The Hardly Boys --
two young whippersnappers
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,427
with a knack
for solving mysteries!
00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,971
The Hardly Boys in...
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,017
So that's it, Hardly Boys.
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,436
We've got no leads and nobody
admitting to the crime.
00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,147
That sure is a mystery.
00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,440
Yeah.
It sounds super hard.
00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,694
Whoever did it must have been
angry with the school.
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,197
Oh.
Oh, I think I'm getting a clue.
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,490
Really?
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,368
Yeah, this is totally
giving me a clue right now.
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,705
Oh, I'm starting
to get a clue, too!
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,790
My clue's kind of pointing
this way.
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:48,085
Oh. Yeah.
Now I've got a total clue.
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,671
I've still got a raging clue.
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,090
My clue's pointing
over there now!
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:56,510
Oh, let's follow that clue.
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,600
Did they find out who crapped
in the urinal yet?
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,684
Not yet.
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,603
They aren't going to find out
who did it.
00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,605
But they'll make up a scapegoat,
send him to detention,
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:08,981
and make us all believe it.
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,733
It'll be 9/11 all over again.
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,401
Will you shut up about 9/11?
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,403
Kyle, why are you so afraid
of the truth?
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,823
Because anybody who thinks 9/11
was a conspiracy is a retard!
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:18,824
Oh, really?
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,868
Well, did you know over
one-fourth of people in America
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,703
think that 9/11
was a conspiracy?
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,080
Are you saying that one-fourth
of Americans are retards?
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,833
Yes, I'm saying one-fourth
of Americans are retards.
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,210
Yeah, at least one-fourth.
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,003
Let's take a test sample.
There's four of us.
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,422
You're a retard.
That's one-fourth.
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,591
There are so many people
who know the truth, Kyle.
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,508
Butters!
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:37,968
Hey, fellas!
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,803
Butters, do you think
9/11 was just a plot
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:40,930
by some angry terrorists,
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,723
or do you think there was
some kind of cover-up?
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,143
Well, I heard that 9/11
was caused by President Bush.
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,436
Aha!
You see?
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,562
Where did you hear that?
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,190
- From Eric.
- I rest my case.
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,442
Butters, you don't really
believe that, do you?
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,736
Well, I mean, you never know.
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,905
The government does
some pretty spooky things.
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,949
The government and the
corporations headed by the Jews
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,575
that carried out 9/11.
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,494
- That's right, Butters.
- God damn it!
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,163
You see what happens when you
spread this crap, fat-ass?!
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,332
- What? People see the truth?
- Can I go now?
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,375
You guys are blind!
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,584
I can't believe everyone here
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,586
is just buying into what
they're told by the media.
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,171
I'm gonna go find out the truth.
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,215
I'm gonna blow the lid off
this whole 9/11 conspiracy
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,216
once and for all!
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,884
Oh, no.
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,848
♪ Is it wrong for me
to ask questions? ♪
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,435
♪ Is it wrong to seek
the truth? ♪
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,563
♪ I can't just blindly accept
their version ♪
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,692
♪ I can't base my logic
on proof ♪
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,945
♪ Almost all the evidence
points one way ♪
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,615
♪ But I'm like Charlie Sheen
and Gloria Estefan ♪
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,660
♪ I need to know
what really happened ♪
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,577
♪ On 9/11 ♪
00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:47,913
♪ 'Leven, 'leven,
'leven, 'leven ♪
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:52,626
♪ What really happened on 9/11 ♪
00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:57,006
Of course.
It's so obvious.
00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,050
How did we not see it before?
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,428
This is my frog.
He doesn't have a name.
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,888
He's a frog, not a toad,
because toads don't ribbit.
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,016
I think frogs are good pets.
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,561
Okay.
Thank you, Leroy.
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,439
Thanks for sharing your
dumb little frog with the class.
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,400
Okay. Anybody else have anything
for show-and-tell?
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,653
Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uhhh!
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,613
All right, Eric.
You can go next.
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,493
For show-and-tell today,
I have brought
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,913
my shocking PowerPoint report
on the truth...
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,458
behind the 9/11 attacks.
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:33,709
Oh, Christ.
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,795
We are told to believe
that the fire from the jet fuel
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,756
melted the steel framing
of the towers,
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,215
which led to their collapse.
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,717
But did you know
jet fuel doesn't burn
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,053
at a high enough temperature
to melt steel?
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,681
We were told the Pentagon was
hit by a hijacked plane as well.
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,558
But now look at this photo
of the Pentagon.
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,893
The hole is not
nearly big enough.
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,479
And if a plane hit it,
where's the rest of the plane?
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,064
Whoa.
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,482
So now
the inevitable question --
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,650
If terrorists didn't cause 9/11,
who did?
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,903
Remember that there are,
in fact, two towers.
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,572
Two minus one is one --
one, one -- 11.
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,075
Two minus one is one.
One, one.
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,159
And there are nine members
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,327
on Silverstein's board
of directors.
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,788
That's 9-1-1 -- 9/11.
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:14,625
And take two minus one
plus 9-11, and you get 12.
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,712
Which leads us all to the
mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,048
Kyle.
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,466
Me?
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,259
Twelve contains the numbers 1
and 2,
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,511
just like the toilet yesterday,
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,429
where somebody went number two
instead of number one.
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,391
Add one and two with 911,
and you get 914.
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,059
Drop the 4, and it's 91 --
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,144
exactly the score Kyle got
on his spelling test
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,813
12 days after 9/11!
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,023
Who had the most to gain
from 9/11? Kyle!
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,109
Who was nowhere to be found
the morning the towers fell?
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:40,818
Kyle!
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,986
Who dropped the deuce
in the urinal? Kyle!
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,655
But probably the most damning
of all
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,324
is the evidence seen
in this photo of tower 2.
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,660
When I zoomed in, I saw what
first appeared to be a blur.
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,829
But when I computer-enhanced
it...
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,708
You almost got away with it,
you sneaky butthole.
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,758
Hey, Token.
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,680
Y-You gonna watch the game
tonight, Butters?
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,223
Aah!
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,809
All right.
All right!
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,562
I was not responsible for 9/11!
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,274
God damn it!
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,445
Hello, boubbie.
How was school today?
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:25,612
Terrible.
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,073
Oh, come on.
School isn't all that bad.
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,826
But everyone thinks
I was responsible for 9/11.
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,911
Wha-Wha-What?!
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,371
We have to do something.
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,123
It is obvious our children
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,625
are still completely confused
about 9/11!
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,961
Yes, we need to go over it
again in the classrooms
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,255
so they understand
what really happened.
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,424
Well, what really happened?
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:46,800
There's strong evidence
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,344
that what we were told
isn't the truth.
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,096
- Oh, no.
- Oh, brother.
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,055
That's right.
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,308
Did you know
there were explosions seen
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,143
at the base of the towers?
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,020
- No, no.
- Are you retarded?
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,646
Look, whatever you believe,
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,441
the fact of the matter
is somebody...
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,568
dropped a dook
in the school urinal,
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,653
and there's still no explanation
for that!
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,406
Mr. Mackey, there are more
important things going on here.
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,449
More important?
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,658
You aren't the one
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,411
who had to walk into
the boys' bathroom, m'kay,
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,997
after having to wake up early,
you know.
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,249
There's no -- no coffee
in the teachers' lounge,
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,792
and then you --
you walk into the bathroom
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,545
just to find a big dook
laying there in the urinal,
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,963
like it's laughing at you!
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,131
He's right!
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,926
The turd could have been
put in there to cover up 9/11!
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,303
No, I'm not saying
they're related!
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,055
How do we know they're not?
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,683
We need to be brave enough
to ask questions.
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,102
It's obvious that before we go
any further,
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,648
we need to find out who was
behind 9/11 once and for all!
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,107
Who else could it have been?
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,109
This is too big a mystery
for me.
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,403
I think we'd better call in
the Hardly Boys.
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,280
Oh, no.
Not the goddamn --
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,659
The Hardly Boys --
two young whippersnappers
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,410
with a taste
for solving mysteries.
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,787
The Hardly Boys in...
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,668
So that's about the long
and short of it, Hardly Boys.
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,129
There were two towers that stood
right here, and they're gone.
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,423
And nobody knows
who's responsible?
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,759
There are theories,
but nobody's certain.
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,805
Hmm. Who would benefit most
from two buildings disappearing?
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,516
Ooh. Oh, I just started
getting a clue.
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:18,433
Really?
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,811
Yeah.
I'm totally getting a clue.
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,313
Oh.
Oh, that's giving me a clue.
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,108
Yeah. Y-Yeah. I've got
a raging clue right now.
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,651
Mine's pointing to the left.
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,613
Oh. Oh, Frank, seriously, I have
such a raging clue right now.
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,490
I think we'd better follow it.
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,284
Okay.
Let's follow your raging clue.
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,955
Godspeed.
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,723
- Kyle!
- Aah!
00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,766
Dude, do you mind telling me
why CIA guys
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,019
are coming to my house
and questioning me about you?
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,103
I don't know, dude!
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,688
It's like everyone's
putting pieces together
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,689
that aren't there!
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,190
But why did you
have to involve me?
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,067
- It's not my fault!
- All right. Look.
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,569
I've been doing research
on the Web,
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,446
and I found an organization
who says they can prove
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,739
you weren't involved in 9/11.
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,157
- Really?
- Come on.
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,908
We'll go out the back
so they don't see you.
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,328
There's just one thing
I need to know before we go.
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,331
You weren't responsible
for 9/11, right?
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,168
Dude.
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,669
That's all I needed.
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091
Now, you might all think
I've given up
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,761
finding who crapped
in the urinal, m'kay.
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,222
And maybe -- maybe you think
it's a victimless crime.
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:43,185
This is Mr. Venezuela,
the school janitor, m'kay.
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,896
He's the person
who has to clean up
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,483
when some trickster drops a dook
in the wrong toilet.
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,945
Mr. Venezuela makes six bucks
an hour at best, m'kay.
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,947
He's got three kids at home.
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,658
He's got a car
that barely works.
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,744
He's got to clean up puke
with sawdust, m'kay.
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,579
Then he walks
into the boys' room
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,499
and sees a big, meaty chud
starin' him in the face.
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:09,169
So when you crapped
in that urinal, m'kay,
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,171
you might as well have
just dropped your pants
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,924
and laid a turd right
on Mr. Venezuela's head.
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,344
Oh, you think it's funny, huh?
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,013
Mr. Mackey, we got him!
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:20,847
Huh?
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,725
We caught the person
that did it.
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,899
Hi.
We were hoping you can help us.
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,693
My friend is being blamed
for 9/11.
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,529
Oh, geez.
Come on in, kids.
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,656
It doesn't surprise me.
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,283
More and more people are being
blamed for 9/11 every day.
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,368
- They are?
- Yeah.
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,287
It's a way of keeping people
from seeing the real evidence.
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,622
I know it seems crazy,
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,041
but 9/11 was pulled off
by our own government
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,794
so they could gain support
for attacking the Middle East.
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,295
What?
No, no, no.
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,797
I know it's hard to believe.
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,007
Dude, why would the government
attack its own buildings?
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,093
It's called
the false-flag policy.
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,137
Make it look like the enemy
has attacked you.
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,098
Get all your citizens riled up
and waving American flags.
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,226
Then you're free to invade
any country you want.
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,603
That's retarded.
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,230
Look into the evidence of 9/11,
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,482
and you'll see there are a lot
of holes in their story.
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,317
There's a lot of holes
in the theory of evolution, too.
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,402
It doesn't mean it's wrong.
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,903
You don't understand!
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,739
The government controls
everything.
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,323
The media, the corporations.
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,492
They have the power
to do anything they want!
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,203
Here. Look.
Read the labels on these!
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,246
Go on!
Read them!
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540
"Code 2-3-4."
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,834
We think they came
from a government office.
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,753
- What is it?
- It's anthrax.
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,171
Anthrax?
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,506
Someday we'll use it
as evidence against them.
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,717
Stan, we can't be seen
with this nut job!
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,099
Aw! Aw!
Awwwww!
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,061
Why, Clyde?
Why did you do it?
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,105
I don't know.
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,317
You've got a whole school here,
Clyde, m'kay?
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,361
You've got over 300 people
that need to use the boys' room.
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:01,031
And you decide you're gonna
be a comedian, m'kay,
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,866
and pinch one off in the urinal
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,118
and leave it laying there for
everyone to have to look at.
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,995
Okay, okay.
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,581
You think it's funny,
but nobody else does.
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,166
They've got to walk
into that bathroom
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,834
and see your rancid dook
propped up
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,545
against the back of the urinal
like a brown rag doll.
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,965
Mr. Mackey,
Clyde's parents are here.
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,467
M'kay.
That's good.
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:21,927
Let's see what your mom and dad
have to say
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,595
about your little poopscapade.
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,596
Come on in, please.
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,181
I'm just trying to get your son
to explain
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,600
why he would drop a dook
in the urinal.
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:33,271
Mr. Mackey...there's something
you should know.
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,363
Excuse me.
There's been a misunderstanding.
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,323
Come on in, Mr. President.
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,494
Uh, Mr. President, my name is --
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,662
Shut up!
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,372
You think we don't know
your name?
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,540
We know everything.
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583
We control everything.
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,627
We've all worked very hard
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,547
to keep our involvement in 9/11
a secret.
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,299
But you just had to
keep digging.
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,676
Really?
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,220
You won't get away with it.
People know.
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,098
People?
You mean sheeple.
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,601
We have the majority of them
kept in blissful ignorance.
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,813
Just one more leak to fix.
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,898
Wait.
What are you doing?
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,693
You've been a thorn in our side
for too long, I'm afraid.
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,903
No.
You can't do this!
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,488
Please!
I'll stop.
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,699
I'll take down the website.
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,786
Too late.
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,206
Jesus Christ!
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,419
He died like a pig.
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,337
Some pigs never learn.
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,007
No way.
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,134
He was right.
You did cause 9/11!
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,343
Yes.
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,221
Quite simple to pull off,
really.
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,682
All I had to do was have
explosives planted
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,434
in the base of the towers.
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,478
Then on 9/11, we pretended like
four planes were being hijacked
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,606
when really we just rerouted
them to Pennsylvania,
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,066
then flew two military jets
into the World Trade Center
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,193
filled with more explosives
and shot down all the witnesses
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:03,820
in Flight 93 with an F-15
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,072
after blowing up the Pentagon
with a cruise missile.
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,325
It was only
the world's most intricate
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,953
and flawlessly executed
plan ever, ever.
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,415
Really?
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,333
Why?
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:19,085
The oldest reason
in the world -- money.
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,170
The towers fell,
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,089
and the American sheeple
all waved their flags.
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,091
Finally we could invade Iraq
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:28,637
and get the oil which made us
all even richer than before.
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,181
Beautiful money.
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,308
Really?
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,809
Is the whole government
in on this?
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,229
We are all-knowing
and all-powerful.
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,440
Goodbye, boys.
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,529
Dang it!
I missed again!
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,114
For Christ's sake, Cheney!
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,408
Kyle, run!
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,245
Kill them!
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,667
Attention, students.
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,127
Apparently Clyde could not
have been the one
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,629
who crapped in the urinal,
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:06,758
because Clyde had a colostomy
at age 5, m'kay.
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,469
Now, whoever did
this unspeakable act
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,720
is still at large.
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,974
The boys' bathroom is closed
until further notice
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,768
because one of you thought
it would be a good idea
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,521
to pull down your pants, m'kay,
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,357
hover your butt cheeks
over the urinal,
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,069
and squeeze out
a chocolate hot dog, m'kay.
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,447
Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,783
Let me assure you
there is nothing funny
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,996
about going up to a nice, clean,
unsuspecting urinal, m'kay,
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,582
dropping your pants
and then turning around,
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,835
squatting over that urinal,
m'kay,
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,588
maybe pulling your butt cheeks
apart with your hands, m'kay,
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,799
and then laying out
a big fudge dragon
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,300
for all the world to see.
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,512
Oh, yeah.
That's real funny.
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,723
I'm gonna catch
this son of a bitch
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:58,435
if it's the last thing I do,
m'kay!
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,485
All right. Now we have to
switch over to inner bus 65.
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,695
We made it, dude.
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,363
We should be home
in less than 18 hours.
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,449
Then we'll tell everyone
what we saw!
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,951
It just doesn't seem right.
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,578
Yeah.
Our eyes are finally open, dude.
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,455
It's like waking up
for the first time.
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,832
Yeah, but doesn't it seem like
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,917
we got out of the White House
pretty easily?
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,878
I mean, it seems like
it would be pretty hard
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,421
to escape from the White House
with everyone chasing you,
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214
and we just kind of...ran out.
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,050
Well, dude,
maybe we're just super badass.
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,468
Have you thought of that?
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,928
Hey!
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,600
Dude.
You're alive?
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,146
Come back here!
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,069
Hey!
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,912
Aah!
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,705
Aah!
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,707
Aah!
Aah!
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,751
No! Please!
Please!
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,753
Dude, what the hell is going on?
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,962
Don't kill me!
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,422
I-I just do what they say!
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,758
- What who says?
- I have a family!
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,052
Please don't kill me!
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,970
Dude, we aren't going to
kill you!
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390
Oh, God!
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,184
It isn't safe here, boys!
Follow me!
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,477
Who the are you?
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,896
There's no time!
Come on!
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,446
Do you mind telling us
what the hell is going on?
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,740
- Who are you?
- I'm a detective.
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,159
And I'm afraid you kids
have been double-crossed.
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,453
You've figured
this thing all out?
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,872
Not me.
My mystery-solving sons.
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,040
Come on in, boys.
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,919
My boys were researching
who went number two
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,045
in the urinal at your school
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,631
when they discovered something
odd, which gave them a clue.
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,550
It gave us both a clue.
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:57,137
That clue lead them to
a 9/11 conspiracy group party,
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,930
where they got a lot more clues.
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,766
I was getting a clue
like every two minutes.
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,726
I got such a raging clue
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,312
that I almost shot clue goo
all over Joe.
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,149
Those clues pointed out that all
the 9/11 conspiracy theories
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,651
could be disproven
scientifically.
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,862
And that's when Frank got
his biggest clue.
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,322
It was huge.
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,409
That all the 9/11
conspiracy websites
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,578
are run by the government.
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:26,666
The 9/11 conspiracy
is a government conspiracy.
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,001
Oh, Jesus.
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,127
Why would the government
00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,962
want people to think
they caused 9/11?
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,297
For a government to have power,
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,591
they must appear to have
complete control.
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,050
What better way
to make people fear them
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594
than to convince them
they are capable
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,220
of the most elaborate plan
on earth?
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,014
That's quite enough, Hardly!
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,100
Don't believe what he says,
boys.
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,393
We caused 9/11.
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,562
It's all right here
in these secret documents.
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,064
But you'll never get them.
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,069
I knew it!
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,031
You didn't plan 9/11 and you
didn't really shoot that guy!
00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,241
Boys, you don't understand.
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,368
People need to think
we're all-powerful,
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,661
that we control the world.
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,413
If they know we weren't
in charge of 9/11,
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,373
then we appear to control
nothing.
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,918
Why don't you just tell people
the truth?
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,711
We do that, too.
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,588
And most people believe
the truth.
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,424
But one-fourth of the population
is retarded.
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,468
If they want to believe
that we control everything
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,595
with intricate plans,
why not let them?
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,931
Just one thing, Mr. President.
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,850
How the devil did you know
we were all here?
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,730
How come you couldn't
just go home, dude?
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,440
That's all we had to do.
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,525
- Stan!
- What the
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,319
It was all planned out.
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446
You knew this whole time?
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,739
Why?
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,616
Because it was me.
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,118
I'm the one who took a dump
in the urinal.
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,119
What?
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,247
The stalls were full, and I
didn't want to miss recess!
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,207
I didn't think it would
turn into such a big deal!
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,667
So you blamed the government?
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,503
And the government was more
than willing to take the blame,
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,547
so long as it made them
look responsible for 9/11.
00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,217
Aw, man,
now everyone's gonna know.
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,677
Why did the stupid Hardly Boys
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,595
have to be so good
at solving mysteries?
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,763
So wait.
Wait.
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,139
Stan took the dump
in the urinal,
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,225
and he contacted
the conspiracy website,
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,310
but the conspiracy site
was run by the government?
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,061
Yeah.
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,355
So then who was responsible
for 9/11?
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,274
What do you mean?
A bunch of pissed-off Muslims.
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,900
Yeah.
What are you, retarded?
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,114
Well, it looks like
this mystery is solved.
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,450
It's time for the culprit
to finally pay.
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:30,540
When you dook in the urinal,
it's bad, m'kay?
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:35,044
How would you feel if somebody
came into your home, m'kay,
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:36,546
pulled down their pants,
00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,757
and laid a big mud monkey
right on your mom's face?
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,885
Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,846
Yeah, that's real funny.
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,446
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:32,950
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,911
[ Bell rings ]
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:39,999
And so, class, that is when
Jolie countered back to Aniston
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,501
and said things like --
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,045
Oh, hello, Mr. Mackey.
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,255
All the girls go out
in the hall, please.
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,050
I need to speak with the boys
of this class, m'kay.
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,513
Boys, we have
a very serious problem.
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,849
I've just come from
the men's restroom,
00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,103
and somebody went number two
in the urinal.
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,898
What's a urinal?
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,775
The wall toilet for peeing in.
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:09,612
And some jokester
took a poop in it, m'kay.
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,448
Now, I want whoever did it
to come forward right now,
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,077
and it will be less painful
for everybody, m'kay?
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,162
Who would take a dump
in the urinal?
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,914
It's such a s-senseless crime.
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,791
Mr. Mackey, I think
you might want to entertain
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,793
that this is some kind
of conspiracy.
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,086
Just like 9/11.
00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,504
Oh, God!
Here we go again.
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,589
9/11 was not a conspiracy,
fat-ass!
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:29,548
Oh, really?
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,342
Do you just believe everything
you're told, Kyle?
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,468
Excuse me!
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,595
Can we get back to the issue,
please?
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,973
You all don't seem to understand
how serious this is!
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,142
Now, who made dookie
in the urinal?
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,521
- [ Laughter ]
- Oh, you think it's funny, huh?
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,022
M'kay!
M'kay!
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,359
You're gonna think it's real
funny when the police get here!
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,027
MAN:
I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey,
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,404
but there just isn't really
any evidence to go on.
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,406
But there must have been
some motive.
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,326
Nobody would just dook
in the urinal for no reason.
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,287
But who would benefit
from crapping in the urinal?
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,456
This is too big a mystery
for me.
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,167
I think we better call in
the Hardly Boys.
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,045
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,384
MAN: The Hardly Boys --
two young whippersnappers
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,427
with a knack
for solving mysteries!
00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,971
The Hardly Boys in...
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,017
So that's it, Hardly Boys.
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,436
We've got no leads and nobody
admitting to the crime.
00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,147
That sure is a mystery.
00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,440
Yeah.
It sounds super hard.
00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,694
Whoever did it must have been
angry with the school.
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,197
Oh.
Oh, I think I'm getting a clue.
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,490
Really?
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,368
Yeah, this is totally
giving me a clue right now.
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,705
Oh, I'm starting
to get a clue, too!
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,790
My clue's kind of pointing
this way.
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:48,085
Oh. Yeah.
Now I've got a total clue.
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,671
I've still got a raging clue.
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,090
My clue's pointing
over there now!
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:56,510
Oh, let's follow that clue.
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,306
[ Bell rings ]
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,600
Did they find out who crapped
in the urinal yet?
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,684
Not yet.
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,603
They aren't going to find out
who did it.
00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,605
But they'll make up a scapegoat,
send him to detention,
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:08,981
and make us all believe it.
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,733
It'll be 9/11 all over again.
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,401
Will you shut up about 9/11?
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,403
Kyle, why are you so afraid
of the truth?
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,823
Because anybody who thinks 9/11
was a conspiracy is a retard!
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:18,824
Oh, really?
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,868
Well, did you know over
one-fourth of people in America
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,703
think that 9/11
was a conspiracy?
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,080
Are you saying that one-fourth
of Americans are retards?
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,833
Yes, I'm saying one-fourth
of Americans are retards.
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,210
Yeah, at least one-fourth.
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,003
Let's take a test sample.
There's four of us.
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,422
You're a retard.
That's one-fourth.
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,591
There are so many people
who know the truth, Kyle.
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,508
Butters!
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:37,968
Hey, fellas!
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,803
Butters, do you think
9/11 was just a plot
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:40,930
by some angry terrorists,
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,723
or do you think there was
some kind of cover-up?
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,143
Well, I heard that 9/11
was caused by President Bush.
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,436
Aha!
You see?
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,562
Where did you hear that?
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,190
- From Eric.
- I rest my case.
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,442
Butters, you don't really
believe that, do you?
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,736
Well, I mean, you never know.
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,905
The government does
some pretty spooky things.
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,949
The government and the
corporations headed by the Jews
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,575
that carried out 9/11.
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,494
- That's right, Butters.
- God damn it!
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,163
You see what happens when you
spread this crap, fat-ass?!
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,332
- What? People see the truth?
- Can I go now?
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,375
You guys are blind!
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,584
I can't believe everyone here
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,586
is just buying into what
they're told by the media.
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,171
I'm gonna go find out the truth.
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,215
I'm gonna blow the lid off
this whole 9/11 conspiracy
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,216
once and for all!
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,884
Oh, no.
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,637
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,848
♪ Is it wrong for me
to ask questions? ♪
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,435
♪ Is it wrong to seek
the truth? ♪
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,563
♪ I can't just blindly accept
their version ♪
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,692
♪ I can't base my logic
on proof ♪
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,945
♪ Almost all the evidence
points one way ♪
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,615
♪ But I'm like Charlie Sheen
and Gloria Estefan ♪
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,660
♪ I need to know
what really happened ♪
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,577
♪ On 9/11 ♪
00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:47,913
♪ 'Leven, 'leven,
'leven, 'leven ♪
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:52,626
♪ What really happened on 9/11 ♪
00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:57,006
Of course.
It's so obvious.
00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,050
How did we not see it before?
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,428
This is my frog.
He doesn't have a name.
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,888
He's a frog, not a toad,
because toads don't ribbit.
00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,016
I think frogs are good pets.
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,851
[ Scattered applause ]
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,561
Okay.
Thank you, Leroy.
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,439
Thanks for sharing your
dumb little frog with the class.
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,400
Okay. Anybody else have anything
for show-and-tell?
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,653
Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uhhh!
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,613
All right, Eric.
You can go next.
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,493
For show-and-tell today,
I have brought
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,913
my shocking PowerPoint report
on the truth...
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,458
behind the 9/11 attacks.
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:33,709
Oh, Christ.
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,795
We are told to believe
that the fire from the jet fuel
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,756
melted the steel framing
of the towers,
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,215
which led to their collapse.
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,717
But did you know
jet fuel doesn't burn
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,053
at a high enough temperature
to melt steel?
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,681
We were told the Pentagon was
hit by a hijacked plane as well.
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,558
But now look at this photo
of the Pentagon.
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,893
The hole is not
nearly big enough.
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,479
And if a plane hit it,
where's the rest of the plane?
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,064
Whoa.
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,482
So now
the inevitable question --
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,650
If terrorists didn't cause 9/11,
who did?
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,903
Remember that there are,
in fact, two towers.
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,572
Two minus one is one --
one, one -- 11.
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,075
Two minus one is one.
One, one.
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,159
And there are nine members
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,327
on Silverstein's board
of directors.
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,788
That's 9-1-1 -- 9/11.
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:14,625
And take two minus one
plus 9-11, and you get 12.
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,712
Which leads us all to the
mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,048
Kyle.
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,466
Me?
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,259
Twelve contains the numbers 1
and 2,
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,511
just like the toilet yesterday,
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,429
where somebody went number two
instead of number one.
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,391
Add one and two with 911,
and you get 914.
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,059
Drop the 4, and it's 91 --
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,144
exactly the score Kyle got
on his spelling test
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,813
12 days after 9/11!
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,023
Who had the most to gain
from 9/11? Kyle!
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,109
Who was nowhere to be found
the morning the towers fell?
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:40,818
Kyle!
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,986
Who dropped the deuce
in the urinal? Kyle!
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,655
But probably the most damning
of all
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,324
is the evidence seen
in this photo of tower 2.
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,660
When I zoomed in, I saw what
first appeared to be a blur.
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,829
But when I computer-enhanced
it...
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,708
You almost got away with it,
you sneaky butthole.
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,546
[ Bell rings ]
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,758
Hey, Token.
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,052
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,680
Y-You gonna watch the game
tonight, Butters?
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,223
Aah!
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,809
All right.
All right!
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,562
I was not responsible for 9/11!
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,274
God damn it!
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,445
Hello, boubbie.
How was school today?
00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:25,612
Terrible.
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,073
Oh, come on.
School isn't all that bad.
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,826
But everyone thinks
I was responsible for 9/11.
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,911
Wha-Wha-What?!
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,371
KYLE'S MOM:
We have to do something.
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,123
It is obvious our children
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,625
are still completely confused
about 9/11!
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,961
Yes, we need to go over it
again in the classrooms
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,255
so they understand
what really happened.
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,424
Well, what really happened?
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:46,800
There's strong evidence
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,344
that what we were told
isn't the truth.
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,096
- Oh, no.
- Oh, brother.
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,055
That's right.
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,308
Did you know
there were explosions seen
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,143
at the base of the towers?
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,020
- No, no.
- Are you retarded?
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,646
Look, whatever you believe,
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,441
the fact of the matter
is somebody...
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,568
dropped a dook
in the school urinal,
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,653
and there's still no explanation
for that!
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,406
Mr. Mackey, there are more
important things going on here.
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,449
More important?
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,658
You aren't the one
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,411
who had to walk into
the boys' bathroom, m'kay,
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,997
after having to wake up early,
you know.
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,249
There's no -- no coffee
in the teachers' lounge,
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,792
and then you --
you walk into the bathroom
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,545
just to find a big dook
laying there in the urinal,
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,963
like it's laughing at you!
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,131
He's right!
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,926
The turd could have been
put in there to cover up 9/11!
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,303
No, I'm not saying
they're related!
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,055
How do we know they're not?
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,683
We need to be brave enough
to ask questions.
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,102
It's obvious that before we go
any further,
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,648
we need to find out who was
behind 9/11 once and for all!
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,107
Who else could it have been?
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,109
This is too big a mystery
for me.
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,403
I think we'd better call in
the Hardly Boys.
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,280
Oh, no.
Not the goddamn --
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,659
MAN: The Hardly Boys --
two young whippersnappers
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,410
with a taste
for solving mysteries.
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,787
The Hardly Boys in...
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,668
So that's about the long
and short of it, Hardly Boys.
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,129
There were two towers that stood
right here, and they're gone.
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,423
And nobody knows
who's responsible?
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,759
There are theories,
but nobody's certain.
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,805
Hmm. Who would benefit most
from two buildings disappearing?
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,516
Ooh. Oh, I just started
getting a clue.
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:18,433
Really?
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,811
Yeah.
I'm totally getting a clue.
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,313
Oh.
Oh, that's giving me a clue.
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,108
Yeah. Y-Yeah. I've got
a raging clue right now.
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,651
Mine's pointing to the left.
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,613
Oh. Oh, Frank, seriously, I have
such a raging clue right now.
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,490
I think we'd better follow it.
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,284
Okay.
Let's follow your raging clue.
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,911
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,955
Godspeed.
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:46,086
[ Insects chirping ]
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:49,506
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,886
[ Indistinct talking on radio ]
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,723
- Kyle!
- Aah!
00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,766
Dude, do you mind telling me
why CIA guys
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,019
are coming to my house
and questioning me about you?
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,103
I don't know, dude!
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,688
It's like everyone's
putting pieces together
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,689
that aren't there!
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,190
But why did you
have to involve me?
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,067
- It's not my fault!
- All right. Look.
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,569
I've been doing research
on the Web,
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,446
and I found an organization
who says they can prove
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,739
you weren't involved in 9/11.
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,157
- Really?
- Come on.
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,908
We'll go out the back
so they don't see you.
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,328
There's just one thing
I need to know before we go.
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,331
You weren't responsible
for 9/11, right?
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,168
Dude.
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,669
That's all I needed.
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:30,964
[ Bell rings ]
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091
Now, you might all think
I've given up
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,761
finding who crapped
in the urinal, m'kay.
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,222
And maybe -- maybe you think
it's a victimless crime.
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:43,185
This is Mr. Venezuela,
the school janitor, m'kay.
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,896
He's the person
who has to clean up
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,483
when some trickster drops a dook
in the wrong toilet.
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,945
Mr. Venezuela makes six bucks
an hour at best, m'kay.
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,947
He's got three kids at home.
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,658
He's got a car
that barely works.
00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,744
He's got to clean up puke
with sawdust, m'kay.
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,579
Then he walks
into the boys' room
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,499
and sees a big, meaty chud
starin' him in the face.
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:09,169
So when you crapped
in that urinal, m'kay,
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,171
you might as well have
just dropped your pants
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,924
and laid a turd right
on Mr. Venezuela's head.
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,842
[ Laughter ]
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,344
Oh, you think it's funny, huh?
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,013
Mr. Mackey, we got him!
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:20,847
Huh?
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,725
We caught the person
that did it.
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,899
Hi.
We were hoping you can help us.
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,693
My friend is being blamed
for 9/11.
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,529
Oh, geez.
Come on in, kids.
00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,656
It doesn't surprise me.
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,283
More and more people are being
blamed for 9/11 every day.
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,368
- They are?
- Yeah.
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,287
It's a way of keeping people
from seeing the real evidence.
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,622
I know it seems crazy,
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,041
but 9/11 was pulled off
by our own government
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,794
so they could gain support
for attacking the Middle East.
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,295
What?
No, no, no.
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,797
I know it's hard to believe.
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,007
Dude, why would the government
attack its own buildings?
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,093
It's called
the false-flag policy.
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,137
Make it look like the enemy
has attacked you.
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,098
Get all your citizens riled up
and waving American flags.
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,226
Then you're free to invade
any country you want.
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,603
That's retarded.
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,230
Look into the evidence of 9/11,
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,482
and you'll see there are a lot
of holes in their story.
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,317
There's a lot of holes
in the theory of evolution, too.
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,402
It doesn't mean it's wrong.
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,903
You don't understand!
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,739
The government controls
everything.
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,323
The media, the corporations.
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,492
They have the power
to do anything they want!
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,203
Here. Look.
Read the labels on these!
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,246
Go on!
Read them!
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540
"Code 2-3-4."
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,834
We think they came
from a government office.
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,753
- What is it?
- It's anthrax.
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,171
Anthrax?
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,506
Someday we'll use it
as evidence against them.
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,717
Stan, we can't be seen
with this nut job!
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,635
[ Men shouting, guns cocking ]
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,304
[ Sirens wailing ]
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,099
Aw! Aw!
Awwwww!
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,061
Why, Clyde?
Why did you do it?
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,105
I don't know.
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,317
You've got a whole school here,
Clyde, m'kay?
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,361
You've got over 300 people
that need to use the boys' room.
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:01,031
And you decide you're gonna
be a comedian, m'kay,
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,866
and pinch one off in the urinal
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,118
and leave it laying there for
everyone to have to look at.
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,995
- [ Snorts ]
- Okay, okay.
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,581
You think it's funny,
but nobody else does.
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,166
They've got to walk
into that bathroom
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,834
and see your rancid dook
propped up
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,545
against the back of the urinal
like a brown rag doll.
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:16,963
[ Laughs ]
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,965
Mr. Mackey,
Clyde's parents are here.
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,467
M'kay.
That's good.
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:21,927
Let's see what your mom and dad
have to say
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,595
about your little poopscapade.
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,596
Come on in, please.
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,181
I'm just trying to get your son
to explain
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,600
why he would drop a dook
in the urinal.
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:33,271
Mr. Mackey...there's something
you should know.
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:36,024
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,363
Excuse me.
There's been a misunderstanding.
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,323
Come on in, Mr. President.
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,494
Uh, Mr. President, my name is --
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,662
Shut up!
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,372
You think we don't know
your name?
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,540
We know everything.
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583
We control everything.
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,627
We've all worked very hard
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,547
to keep our involvement in 9/11
a secret.
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,299
But you just had to
keep digging.
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,676
Really?
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,220
You won't get away with it.
People know.
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,098
People?
You mean sheeple.
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,601
We have the majority of them
kept in blissful ignorance.
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,813
Just one more leak to fix.
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,898
Wait.
What are you doing?
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,693
You've been a thorn in our side
for too long, I'm afraid.
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,903
No.
You can't do this!
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,488
Please!
I'll stop.
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,699
I'll take down the website.
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,618
[ Muffled shouting ]
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,786
Too late.
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:30,871
[ Gunshot ]
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,206
Jesus Christ!
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,419
[ Laughs ]
He died like a pig.
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,337
Some pigs never learn.
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,007
No way.
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,134
He was right.
You did cause 9/11!
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,343
Yes.
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,221
Quite simple to pull off,
really.
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,682
All I had to do was have
explosives planted
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,434
in the base of the towers.
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,478
Then on 9/11, we pretended like
four planes were being hijacked
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,606
when really we just rerouted
them to Pennsylvania,
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,066
then flew two military jets
into the World Trade Center
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,193
filled with more explosives
and shot down all the witnesses
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:03,820
in Flight 93 with an F-15
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,072
after blowing up the Pentagon
with a cruise missile.
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,325
It was only
the world's most intricate
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,953
and flawlessly executed
plan ever, ever.
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,415
Really?
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,333
Why?
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:19,085
The oldest reason
in the world -- money.
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,170
The towers fell,
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,089
and the American sheeple
all waved their flags.
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,091
Finally we could invade Iraq
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:28,637
and get the oil which made us
all even richer than before.
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,181
Beautiful money.
[ Laughs ]
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,308
Really?
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,809
Is the whole government
in on this?
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,229
We are all-knowing
and all-powerful.
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,440
Goodbye, boys.
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,819
[Alarm blaring ]
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,529
Dang it!
I missed again!
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,114
For Christ's sake, Cheney!
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,408
Kyle, run!
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,245
Kill them!
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,790
[ Sighs ]
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,667
Attention, students.
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,127
Apparently Clyde could not
have been the one
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,629
who crapped in the urinal,
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:06,758
because Clyde had a colostomy
at age 5, m'kay.
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,469
Now, whoever did
this unspeakable act
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,720
is still at large.
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,974
The boys' bathroom is closed
until further notice
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,768
because one of you thought
it would be a good idea
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,521
to pull down your pants, m'kay,
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,357
hover your butt cheeks
over the urinal,
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,069
and squeeze out
a chocolate hot dog, m'kay.
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,445
[ Laughter ]
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,447
Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,783
Let me assure you
there is nothing funny
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,996
about going up to a nice, clean,
unsuspecting urinal, m'kay,
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,582
dropping your pants
and then turning around,
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,835
squatting over that urinal,
m'kay,
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,588
maybe pulling your butt cheeks
apart with your hands, m'kay,
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,799
and then laying out
a big fudge dragon
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,300
for all the world to see.
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,427
[ Laughter ]
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,512
Oh, yeah.
That's real funny.
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,723
I'm gonna catch
this son of a bitch
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:58,435
if it's the last thing I do,
m'kay!
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,485
All right. Now we have to
switch over to inner bus 65.
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,695
We made it, dude.
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,363
We should be home
in less than 18 hours.
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,449
Then we'll tell everyone
what we saw!
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,951
It just doesn't seem right.
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,578
Yeah.
Our eyes are finally open, dude.
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,455
It's like waking up
for the first time.
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,832
Yeah, but doesn't it seem like
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,917
we got out of the White House
pretty easily?
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,878
I mean, it seems like
it would be pretty hard
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,421
to escape from the White House
with everyone chasing you,
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214
and we just kind of...ran out.
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,050
Well, dude,
maybe we're just super badass.
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,468
Have you thought of that?
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,928
Hey!
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,889
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,600
Dude.
You're alive?
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:41,936
[ Gasps ]
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,146
Come back here!
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:46,566
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,069
Hey!
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:50,570
[ Grunts ]
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,698
[ Music continues ]
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,912
Aah!
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,705
Aah!
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,707
Aah!
Aah!
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,751
No! Please!
Please!
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,753
Dude, what the hell is going on?
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,962
Don't kill me!
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,422
I-I just do what they say!
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,758
- What who says?
- I have a family!
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,052
Please don't kill me!
[ Sobs ]
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,970
Dude, we aren't going to
kill you!
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,764
[ Gunshot ]
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390
Oh, God!
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,184
It isn't safe here, boys!
Follow me!
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,477
Who the [bleep] are you?
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,896
There's no time!
Come on!
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,446
Do you mind telling us
what the hell is going on?
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,740
- Who are you?
- I'm a detective.
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,159
And I'm afraid you kids
have been double-crossed.
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,453
You've figured
this thing all out?
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,872
Not me.
My mystery-solving sons.
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,040
Come on in, boys.
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,792
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,919
My boys were researching
who went number two
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,045
in the urinal at your school
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,631
when they discovered something
odd, which gave them a clue.
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,550
It gave us both a clue.
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:57,137
That clue lead them to
a 9/11 conspiracy group party,
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,930
where they got a lot more clues.
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,766
I was getting a clue
like every two minutes.
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,726
I got such a raging clue
00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,312
that I almost shot clue goo
all over Joe.
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,149
Those clues pointed out that all
the 9/11 conspiracy theories
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,651
could be disproven
scientifically.
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,862
And that's when Frank got
his biggest clue.
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,322
It was huge.
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,409
That all the 9/11
conspiracy websites
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,578
are run by the government.
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:26,666
The 9/11 conspiracy
is a government conspiracy.
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,001
Oh, Jesus.
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,127
Why would the government
00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,962
want people to think
they caused 9/11?
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,297
For a government to have power,
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,591
they must appear to have
complete control.
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,050
What better way
to make people fear them
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594
than to convince them
they are capable
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,220
of the most elaborate plan
on earth?
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,014
BUSH:
That's quite enough, Hardly!
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,100
Don't believe what he says,
boys.
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,393
We caused 9/11.
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,562
It's all right here
in these secret documents.
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,064
But you'll never get them.
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,025
[ Yawns ]
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,069
I knew it!
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,031
You didn't plan 9/11 and you
didn't really shoot that guy!
00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,241
Boys, you don't understand.
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,368
People need to think
we're all-powerful,
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,661
that we control the world.
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,413
If they know we weren't
in charge of 9/11,
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,373
then we appear to control
nothing.
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,918
Why don't you just tell people
the truth?
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,711
We do that, too.
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,588
And most people believe
the truth.
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,424
But one-fourth of the population
is retarded.
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,468
If they want to believe
that we control everything
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,595
with intricate plans,
why not let them?
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,931
Just one thing, Mr. President.
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,850
How the devil did you know
we were all here?
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,686
[ Gun cocks ]
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,730
How come you couldn't
just go home, dude?
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,440
That's all we had to do.
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,525
Stan!
What the [bleep]
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,319
It was all planned out.
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446
You knew this whole time?
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,739
Why?
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,616
Because it was me.
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,118
I'm the one who took a dump
in the urinal.
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,119
What?
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,247
The stalls were full, and I
didn't want to miss recess!
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,207
I didn't think it would
turn into such a big deal!
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,667
So you blamed the government?
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,503
And the government was more
than willing to take the blame,
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,547
so long as it made them
look responsible for 9/11.
00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,217
Aw, man,
now everyone's gonna know.
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,677
Why did the stupid Hardly Boys
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,595
have to be so good
at solving mysteries?
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,763
So wait.
Wait.
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,139
Stan took the dump
in the urinal,
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,225
and he contacted
the conspiracy website,
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,310
but the conspiracy site
was run by the government?
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,061
Yeah.
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,355
So then who was responsible
for 9/11?
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,274
What do you mean?
A bunch of pissed-off Muslims.
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,900
Yeah.
What are you, retarded?
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,319
[ Laughter ]
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,114
Well, it looks like
this mystery is solved.
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,450
It's time for the culprit
to finally pay.
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:30,540
When you dook in the urinal,
it's bad, m'kay?
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:35,044
How would you feel if somebody
came into your home, m'kay,
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:36,546
pulled down their pants,
00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,757
and laid a big mud monkey
right on your mom's face?
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,175
[ Laughs ]
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,885
Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,846
Yeah, that's real funny.
Скриншоты
