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Мистер Маки пытается узнать, кто нагадил в писсуар. Расследование этой истории стараниями Картмана неожиданно пересекается с расследованием событий 11 сентября.

Загадка о дерьме в писсуаре

Mystery of the Urinal Deuce
Сезон: 10Серия: 09

Описание

Мистер Маки пытается узнать, кто нагадил в писсуар. Расследование этой истории стараниями Картмана неожиданно пересекается с расследованием событий 11 сентября.

Субтитры

rus__shoke.srt

rus__shoke.srt

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перевод: shoke (shoke@sibmail.com)

тайминг: shoke, Jah(lion)/Eric ;)

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специально для http://uzhe.vtomske.ru и http://sp.fanclub.cc

перевод: shoke (shoke@sibmail.com)

тайминг: shoke, Jah(lion)/Eric ;)

00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:27,300

специально для http://uzhe.vtomske.ru и http://sp.fanclub.cc

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- И так клас, Джон Ли был оправдан. И сказал он, спасибо черножоп...

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-О, здравствуйте мистер Меки.

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-Все девочки, выйдете в коридор, пожалуйста.

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Мне нужно поговорить с мальчиками.

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-Мальчики у нас очень серьезная проблема...

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-Я только что вернулся из мужского туалета

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и там, кто-то, сходил по большому в писсуар...

00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:04,415

-Что такое писсуар?

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-Специальный туалет куда писают.

00:01:06,215 --> 00:01:09,945

-Какой-то шутник, насрал в писсуар.

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-И я хочу, что бы тот кто это сделал, вышел сюда, или я накажу всех.

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-Кто мог насрать в писсуар? Это б-б-безсмысленнное преступление...

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-Мистер Меки, вы можете смеяться, но я думаю это своего рода заговор... так же как 11ое сентября (9/11)

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-О Боже, опять началось! 11ое Сентября (9/11), небыло заговором, толстожопый!

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-Че правда? Ты веришь всему что тебе говорят Кайл?!

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-Извините, может вернемся писсуарам?

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-Вы видимо не понимаете, насколько это серьезно.

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-Ну и кто обгадил писсуар?

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-О, вы думаете это смешно?

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-Мкей, Мкей! Самое смешное начнется, когда сюда приедет полиция!

00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:52,645

-Извините мистер Меки, но у нас нет никаких следов, что бы начать расследование.

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-Но должен быть какой-то мотив, никто не будет срать в писсуар без причины?

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-Я не понимаю, кому выгодно было надристать в писсуар?

00:02:00,935 --> 00:02:05,415

-Это загадка слишком сложная для меня. Я думаю нам нужно позвать "Hardly boys".

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Hardly Boys, двое молодых детективов, которые раскрывают тайны..

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Hardly Boys и экскременты в писсуаре.

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-И так Hardly Boys, у нас нет никаких подозреваемых, и никаких зацепок

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-Это точно загадка.

-И так Hardly Boys, у нас нет никаких подозреваемых, и никаких зацепок

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-Это точно загадка.

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-Да очень большая.

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-Тот кто это сделал, должно быть ненавидит школу.

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-Ооо, мне кажется, у меня есть догадка.

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-Правда?

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-Даа, это точно догадка.

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-Оу, я тоже начал догадываться!

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-Моя догадка, ведет меня в ту сторону.

-Оу, я тоже начал догадываться!

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-Моя догадка, ведет меня в ту сторону.

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-Ооо, теперь я точно догадался.

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-Моя догадка прямо распирает меня!

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-Моя догадка, хочет, что бы я пошел в ту сторону!

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-Ооо давай следовать той догадке!

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-Нашли уже того кто обгадил писсуар?

-Нет еще.

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-Они и не будут искать.

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-Они возьмут кого-нибудь, скажут, что это он, и заставят нас всех поверить

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-9/11 снова повторяется.

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-Может ты уже заткнешься, насчет 9/11?

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-Кайл, почему ты так боишься правды?

00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:18,175

-Потому что каждый, кто думает, что 9/11 был заговор - пенсионер!

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-Серьезно?

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-А ты знал, что 1/4 всех американцев, думает, что 9/11 это заговор. То есть ты хочешь сказать, что четверть всех американцев - пенсионеры?!

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-Да, я говорю, что 1/4 всех американцев - пенсионеры!

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-Как минимум четверть.

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-Давайте проведем тест. Нас четверо, ты пенсионер, это 1/4.

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-Уже очень много людей, знающих правду, Кайл.

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-Баттерс!

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-Здорова пацаны!

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-Баттерс, ты действительно думаешь, что 9/11 было террористическим актом?

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-Или это было нечто другое?

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-Нуу, я слышал, что в 9/11 замешан президент Д.Буш.

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-Ха, вы слышали?

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-Кто тебе это сказал?

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-Эрик.

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-Я закончил.

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-Баттерс, ты серьезно веришь в это?

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-Ну, я, имею ввиду, никогда до конца не знаешь,

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-Правительство готово на всё.

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-Правительство и корпорации во главе с евреями, виноваты в том, что случилось 9/11.

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-Точно Баттерс.

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-Черт побери! Ты видишь что происходит, когда начинаешь нести эту тупую чушь толстожопый?

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-Что?! Люди начинают видеть правду?!

00:04:07,735 --> 00:04:08,705

-Можно я пойду?

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-Парни вы слепые!

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Не могу поверить, вы верите, тому, что говорят СМИ! Я выясню правду, я раскрою этот заговор раз и навсегда!

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-О нет...

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Это плохо, задавать вопросы?

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Это плохо видеть правду?

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Я не могу слепо поверить в их версию, я могу провести свое расследование..

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Все доказательства ведут меня в одном направлении.

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Я как Чарли Шин в "Блаженный Дьявол"

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Мне нужно знать, что действительно случилось, одиннадцатого сентября (9/11)

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Что действительно случилось одиннадцатого сентября?...

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-Конечно!

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Это так очевидно, как мы не видели этого раньше?...

00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:07,555

-Это мая лягуфка, у нее нет имени, это лягуфка а не жаба, потому фто жабы не булькают, я фитаю фто лягуфки лучфие домафние животные.

00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:13,985

-Хорошо, спасибо Леррой, спасибо что показал нам свою, чертову маленькую лягушку.

00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:14,895

-Есть еще желающие выступить?

-Хорошо, спасибо Леррой, спасибо что показал нам свою, чертову маленькую лягушку.

00:05:14,895 --> 00:05:16,945

-Есть еще желающие выступить?

00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:22,395

-Ладно, Эрик, ты можешь выйти.

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-Сегодня я горд вам представить, мой шокирующий доклад -

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-"Правда об атаках 11ого сентября"

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-О господи!

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-Нам сказали, что пожар после попадания самолета, расплавил стальные перегородки башен

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-из-за которых они рухнули.

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-Но знаете ли вы, что температуры горения керосина недостаточно, что бы расплавить сталь?

00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:48,005

-Нам сказали, что в Пентагон, тоже врезался самолет.

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Но взгляните на это фото Пентагона, дыра недостаточно большая,

00:05:51,065 --> 00:05:54,135

и если самолет врезался, где остатки от него?

00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:59,225

-И так главный вопрос, если террористы непричастны к 9/11, то кто?

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Вы помните что было 2 башни?

00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:06,345

2-1=1, 1 и 1 это 11, 2-1=1, 1 и 1

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далее 9 членов совета директоров, это 9 1 1 - 9/11

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И теперь отнимите от 11и 9 и прибавьте к 11, получится 12.

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-Что ведет нас прямо к главному виновному в 9/11...

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-КАЙЛ!

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-Я?!?!

00:06:22,795 --> 00:06:24,535

-12 состоит из цифр 1 и 2

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-Так же как и вчера, кто-то посрал(2) в писсуар, вместо того что бы поссать(1).

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Сложите 1 и 2 и 9/11 и вы получите 914, отбросьте 4 и вы получите 91

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-Точно такой же результат(91) получил Кайл по устному экзамену, через 12 дней после 11ого сентября.

00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:37,695

-Кто самый главный подозреваемый 9/11?

00:06:37,725 --> 00:06:38,225

Кайл!

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-Кто отвественнен за падение башен?! Кайл!

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-Кто обосрал писсуар? Кайл!

00:06:43,345 --> 00:06:52,505

-Но самое ужасное доказательство я обнаружил, когда увеличил картинку, сначала изображение было размыто, но когда я обработал изображение...

00:06:54,385 --> 00:06:57,935

-Ты почти ушел от правосудия, пронырливый говноед!

00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,105

-Привет Токен...

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-Ты будешь сегодня вечером смотреть матч, Баттерс?

00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,805

-Хорошо! ХОРОШО! Я НЕ несу ответственности за 9/11!

00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,355

-Пиздец!

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-Привет бубачка, как дела в школе?

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-Ужасающе

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-Да ладно, школа не такая уж и плохая

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-...все думают, что я ответственен за 11ое сентября(9/11)...

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-Что, ЧТО, ЧТОО?!?!

00:07:33,545 --> 00:07:35,245

-Мы должны что-то предпринять.

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-Наши дети до сих пор не понимают, что случилось 9/11.

00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:43,805

-Да нам нужно еще раз поговорить с детьми в школе, что бы они поняли, что произошло на самом деле.

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-А что на самом деле произошло?

00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:49,935

-Есть аргументированные доказательства, того что нам говорили - неправда.

00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:51,465

-О неет, опять...

00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:56,795

-Точно, вы знаете о том, что видели подрывников в подвале зданий?

00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:58,335

-Неет..

-пенсионер..

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-Слушайте, во что бы вы не верили,

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Факт заключается в том, что КТО-ТО,

00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:06,965

наложил в школьный писсуар, и у нас до сих пор нет объяснений этому.

00:08:06,965 --> 00:08:07,035

-Мистер Меки, у нас есть более важные дела сейчас.

наложил в школьный писсуар, и у нас до сих пор нет объяснений этому.

00:08:07,035 --> 00:08:09,765

-Мистер Меки, у нас есть более важные дела сейчас.

00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:10,915

-Более важные?!

00:08:10,955 --> 00:08:14,745

Вы не одна из тех, кто ходит в мужской туалет

00:08:14,775 --> 00:08:17,395

Вы просыпаетесь рано

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в учительской нет кофе

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вы заходите в сортир, а там лежит кусок гавна в писсуаре

00:08:23,855 --> 00:08:25,585

как будто смеется над вами!

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-Он прав, говно могли положить в писсуар, что бы прикрыть то что случилось 9/11!

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-Нет, я не говорил что это связано.

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-Откуда нам знать, что не связано?

00:08:33,665 --> 00:08:37,045

Нужно не бояться задавать вопросы!

00:08:37,085 --> 00:08:42,085

-Это очевидно, что бы пойти дальше, нужно узнать, кто стоит за этим, раз и навсегда!

00:08:42,115 --> 00:08:44,585

-Кто же еще мог это сделать?

00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,965

-Это слишком сложная загадка для меня, я думаю нам надо позвать Hardly Boys.

00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,145

-О нет, только не чертовых...

00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:54,925

Hardly Boys, двое молодых детективов, которые раскрывают тайны.

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Hardly Boys и дело о заговоре Мирового Торгового Центра.

00:09:00,545 --> 00:09:03,005

-И так это будет долгое и сложное расследование Hardly Boys,

00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:06,445

две башни, находились здесь, а теперь их нет...

00:09:06,475 --> 00:09:08,745

-И никто не знает кто несет ответственность за это?

00:09:08,785 --> 00:09:11,975

-Есть несколько теорий, но точно мы незнаем.

00:09:12,075 --> 00:09:15,605

-Мммм кому выгоднее всего, что бы 2 здания исчезли?

00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:18,685

-Ооо, я начинаю догадываться

-Серьезно?

00:09:18,715 --> 00:09:20,995

-Да, я точно начинаю догадываться

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-Оо,оо у меня тоже появилась догадка.

00:09:24,615 --> 00:09:27,445

Да, Да, моя догадка прямо распирает меня.

00:09:27,475 --> 00:09:28,625

-Моя ведет меня на лево.

00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:32,035

-Ооох Френк, моя сейчас разорвет меня.

00:09:32,065 --> 00:09:33,695

Я думаю, мы должны следовать ей.

00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:35,285

-Хорошо, давай следовать твоей догадке.

00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:40,365

-Господи помоги...

00:09:56,568 --> 00:09:57,508

-Кайл!

00:09:58,168 --> 00:10:02,238

-Чувак, ты можешь мне сказать, почему ЦРУшники пришли ко мне и расспрашивали насчет тебя?

00:10:02,238 --> 00:10:02,308

-Я не знаю, чувак! Как будто кто-то перевернул все с ног наголову.

-Чувак, ты можешь мне сказать, почему ЦРУшники пришли ко мне и расспрашивали насчет тебя?

00:10:02,308 --> 00:10:05,848

-Я не знаю, чувак! Как будто кто-то перевернул все с ног наголову.

00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,328

-Но зачем ты втянул меня в это?

00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:08,558

-Я не виноват!

00:10:08,598 --> 00:10:13,928

-Ладно, смотри, я пошарил в интернете, и нашел организацию, которая может доказать что ты невиноват в то что случилось 9/11

00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:14,688

Правда?!

00:10:14,728 --> 00:10:17,098

-Пошли, выйдем с заднего хода, что бы они нас не увидели

00:10:17,128 --> 00:10:19,428

-Одна вещ, которую я должен знать, перед тем как мы пойдем..

00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:22,748

-Ты точно не виноват в том, что случилось 9/11?

00:10:24,988 --> 00:10:25,878

-Чувак... О_О

00:10:26,928 --> 00:10:28,868

-Это все что мне надо...

00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:36,028

-Вы наверное думаете что я сдался, перестал искать того кто насрал в писсуар?

00:10:36,058 --> 00:10:39,468

-Может быть вы думаете что это несерьезное преступление?

00:10:39,498 --> 00:10:43,518

-Это мистер Vinnyswaler, уборщик.

00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:49,498

-Это человек, которому пришлось вычищать говно из писсуара

00:10:49,528 --> 00:10:54,258

Мистер Vinnyswaler зарабатывает 6 баксов в час, в лучшем случае.

00:10:54,298 --> 00:11:01,138

-У него 3ое детей, херовая машина, ему приходится драить сортиры руками.

00:11:01,178 --> 00:11:03,398

-И когда он зашел в мужской туалет,

00:11:03,398 --> 00:11:05,778

он увидел огромный вонючий рогалик коричневого цвета, уставившийся прямо ему в лицо.

00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:08,968

-И так если вы срете в писсуар,

00:11:08,998 --> 00:11:14,158

это тоже самое если бы вы надристали мистеру Vinnyswaler на голову.

00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:17,548

-А, вы думаете это смешно, да?

00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:20,278

-Мистер Меки мы его поймали!

-Что?

00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:23,488

-Мы поймали того, кто это сделал.

00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:32,678

-Привет, мы надеемся вы нам поможете? Моего друга обвиняют в том, что произошло 9/11.

00:11:33,788 --> 00:11:36,108

-О Господи, заходите дети.

00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:39,508

-Меня это не удивляет, все больше и больше людей обвиняют в том что произошло день за днем

00:11:40,478 --> 00:11:41,148

-Правда?

00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:44,618

-Ага, это отвлекает людей, не дает увидеть что происходит на самом деле.

00:11:44,658 --> 00:11:48,338

-Я знаю это звучит бредово, но в том что случилось 9/11 виновато наше правительство.

00:11:48,368 --> 00:11:51,078

-Для того что бы они имели поддержку, для атаки на ближний восток.

00:11:51,118 --> 00:11:53,538

-Что? Нет, нет нет!

-Я знаю, в это трудно поверить.

00:11:53,568 --> 00:11:55,958

-Чувак, зачем правительству уничтожать собственные здания?

00:11:55,988 --> 00:12:03,378

-Это называется саботаж, это выглядит, как будто на вас нападает враг, заставляет народ подняться и "махать флагами"

00:12:03,408 --> 00:12:07,198

-А потом дает возможность вторгнутся в любую страну, в которую вы захотите!

00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:08,558

-Это по пенсионерски

00:12:08,598 --> 00:12:12,588

-Если вы повнимательнее посмотрите на доказательства, вы увидите огромные дыры в этой истории.

00:12:12,618 --> 00:12:15,448

-Огромные дыры были и в "Чайной" революции, но это не значит, что она было неправильно.

00:12:15,478 --> 00:12:16,868

-Вы не понимаете!

00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:22,688

Правительство контролирует всё! СМИ, корпорации, они могут сделать все что захотят!

00:12:22,718 --> 00:12:23,948

-Вот, взгляните!

00:12:23,988 --> 00:12:27,898

-Посмотрите на этикетку, давайте, прочтите!

00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:28,538

-Код 234

00:12:28,578 --> 00:12:30,918

-Мы думаем их, прислало правительствоЫ

00:12:30,948 --> 00:12:32,998

-Что это?

-Это Сибирская язва.

00:12:33,028 --> 00:12:34,018

-СИБИРСКАЯ ЯЗВА?!

00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:36,518

-Когда-нибудь мы используем эти доказательства против них.

00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,968

-Стэн нас не должны, видеть с этим…

00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:50,158

-Зачем Клайд, зачем ты это сделал?

00:12:51,158 --> 00:12:52,258

-Я не знаю

00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:55,388

-Ты достал всю школу Клайд!

00:12:55,428 --> 00:12:58,448

ты достал 300 человек, пользующихся мужским туалетом.

00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,178

-Ты решил стать комедиантом?

00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:02,898

отложил личинку в писсуар

00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:05,528

Что бы все любовались.

00:13:06,538 --> 00:13:08,368

-Ok, ok! Ты думаешь это смешно?!

00:13:08,398 --> 00:13:09,718

-А вот остальные нет!

00:13:09,758 --> 00:13:16,148

им пришлось смотреть на этот писсуар где ты оставил свою коричневую куколку!

00:13:16,158 --> 00:13:19,158

-Мистер Меки, пришли родители Клайда.

00:13:19,188 --> 00:13:23,618

-Отлично, давай посмотрим, что скажут твои родители, насчет твоих какашечных игр

00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:29,298

-Заходите, я как раз пытаюсь добиться от вашего сына объяснения, почему он насрал в писсуар.

00:13:29,568 --> 00:13:33,218

-Мистер Меки, вы должны кое-что знать.

00:13:39,178 --> 00:13:41,738

-Извините, но похоже произошло недоразумение.

00:13:41,768 --> 00:13:44,128

-Проходите господин президент

00:13:46,418 --> 00:13:48,978

-Э, господин президент, мое имя..

-Заткнули ебала!

00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:51,538

Вы думаете, мы незнаем, как вас зовут? Мы знаем все!

00:13:51,568 --> 00:13:54,058

Мы контролируем всё!

00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:58,768

-Мы все, очень старались, что бы доказательства нашей вины остались в тайне.

00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:01,128

-Но вы все равно продолжали копать.

00:14:01,948 --> 00:14:02,778

-Правда?

00:14:02,818 --> 00:14:05,268

-Вы не сможете скрыть это, люди знают!

00:14:05,298 --> 00:14:08,228

-Люди? Вы имеете в виду быдло…

00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:11,468

-Хорошо, что мы вас поймали...

00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:15,168

-Осталась только одна вещ... которую нужно исправить

00:14:15,198 --> 00:14:16,808

Подождите! Что вы делаете?

00:14:16,848 --> 00:14:20,018

-Боюсь, ты уже слишком давно перешел черту.

00:14:20,048 --> 00:14:25,728

-Нет! Вы не можете так поступить! Пожалуйста! Я прекращу! Я снесу мой вебсайт!

00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:29,908

-Слишком поздно

00:14:31,818 --> 00:14:33,518

-ГОСПОДИ ВСЕМОГУЩИЙ!

00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:37,588

-Хахаха, он умер как свинья.

00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:39,648

-Некоторые свиньи никогда не учатся

00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:42,008

-Данунахуй...

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,588

-Он был прав, это вы виноваты в том, что случилось 9/11

00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:48,208

-Да, довольно просто догадаться.

00:14:48,328 --> 00:14:52,328

-Все что нужно было сделать, это заложить взрывные заряды в подвалы зданий

00:14:52,368 --> 00:14:55,608

позже 11ого сентября, мы подстроили похищение 4ех самолетов

00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:56,798

хотя на самом деле мы посадили их в Пенсильвании.

00:14:56,838 --> 00:15:07,208

Потом направили 2 военных самолета на башни близнецы, после того как выстрелили по Пентагону, с одного из самолетов F-15, крылатой ракетой...

00:15:07,248 --> 00:15:12,498

-Это был самый интригующий и запутанный план саботажа в мире...

00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:16,398

-Серьезно?!

-Зачем?

00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,208

-Самый главный повод на земле: Деньги

00:15:19,248 --> 00:15:22,978

-Башни упали, а американское быдло машет флажками.

00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,108

-Наконец мы смогли вторгнуться в Ирак.

00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:28,888

-Я получил доступ к нефти, которая сделать нас богаче как никогда!

00:15:28,918 --> 00:15:30,398

-Прелестные денежки!

00:15:32,338 --> 00:15:33,368

-???

00:15:33,408 --> 00:15:35,188

-В этом замешано всё правительство?

00:15:35,228 --> 00:15:38,388

-Мы все в курсе.

00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:40,118

-Прощайте мальчики.

00:15:45,088 --> 00:15:46,698

-Черт, я промазал по пацанам.

00:15:46,898 --> 00:15:48,978

-Чтоб тебя черти дрючили, Чейни!

00:15:49,108 --> 00:15:50,538

-Кайл, бежим!

00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,078

-Убеееейтее ииих!

00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:58,928

-Внимание ученики

00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,948

-Клайд непричастен к обосраному писсуару,

00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:06,168

-Потому что у Клайда уже запор 5ть дней

00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,248

Ok?

00:16:07,428 --> 00:16:11,118

-Но кто бы это не сделал, этот непозволительный акт вандализма писуаров,он пока еще не найден,

00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,468

-Мужской туалет все еще закрыт.

-Мужской туалет все еще закрыт.

00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,518

-Потому что один из вас, решил, что это будет замечательная идея

00:16:17,548 --> 00:16:20,088

снять штаны,

00:16:20,128 --> 00:16:22,718

поднять свои булки над писсуаром,

00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:26,328

и выдавить хот-дог "для бедных"

00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,688

-Вы думаете это смешно?!?!

00:16:29,728 --> 00:16:32,218

-Я вам покажу что нет ничего смешного в том

00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:36,748

что бы пойти, в хороший беззащитный чистенький туалет

00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,348

снять штаны,...

00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:41,998

повернутся, забраться на писсуар

00:16:42,038 --> 00:16:45,908

может быть даже раздвинуть булки руками,

00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,588

и оставить в нем огромного жирного дракона, которого не видел еще свет.

00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:52,768

-ага, это ОЧЕНЬ смешно...

00:16:53,108 --> 00:16:58,458

-Я поймаю этого сукина сына, даже если это будет последнее, что я сделаю в жизни!

00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:07,745

-Ладно, теперь нам надо пересесть на автобус 65.

00:17:08,315 --> 00:17:10,985

-Мы сделали это чувак, мы будем дома, меньше чем через18 часов.

00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,865

-И тогда мы расскажем всем, что мы видели

00:17:12,895 --> 00:17:15,315

-мне кажется это неправильно

00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:18,915

-ага, мои глаза, наконец открыты, как будто только что родился

00:17:18,945 --> 00:17:20,045

-нуу да

00:17:20,085 --> 00:17:23,295

но тебе не кажется что мы слишком легко, сбежали из белого дома?

00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:28,745

-Я имею в виду, что это Белый Дом, ну а мы просто..сбежали..

00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:31,985

-Ну, парень, может мы супер крутые плохиши, ты об этом не подумал?

00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:38,865

-Чувак, ты жив?!

00:17:42,585 --> 00:17:44,175

-Вернись!

00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,135

-Нет! Пожалуйста! Пожалуйста!

00:18:05,175 --> 00:18:07,475

-Чувак? Что, черт возьми, происходит?

00:18:07,515 --> 00:18:09,785

-Не убивайте меня, я лишь делал то, что они сказали

00:18:09,815 --> 00:18:10,745

-Кто что сказал?

00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:14,335

-У меня семья! Пожалуйста, не убивайте!

00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:16,255

-Чувак, мы не собираемся тебя убивать.

00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:19,805

-О БОЖЕ!

00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:21,715

-Тут небезопасно парни, следуйте за мной!

00:18:21,745 --> 00:18:23,485

-А ТЫ БЛЯТЬ КТО ТАКОЙ?!

00:18:23,525 --> 00:18:25,235

-НЕТ ВРЕМЕНИ, БЕГОМ!

00:18:31,995 --> 00:18:35,095

-Может вы нам расскажешь, что черт возьми происходит? Кто ты?

00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:38,655

-Я детектив, и я боюсь дети, вы уже два раза перешли "черту".

00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,695

-Вы думаете, все это как-то связано?

00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:44,405

-Не я, мои сыновья сыщики. Заходите парни.

00:18:46,415 --> 00:18:50,775

-Мои парни расследовали кто насрал в писсуаре, и наткнулись на нечто необычное, на улику.

00:18:50,805 --> 00:18:53,855

-На улику...

-Это улика дала нам обоим зацепку..

00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:59,445

-Эта ниточка привела их к обществу "Заговор 9/11", где они нашли еще больше зацепок

00:18:59,485 --> 00:19:02,295

-У меня появлялись догадки каждые 2 минуты.

00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:06,725

-У меня была такая распирающая догадка, что меня чуть не переклинило.

00:19:06,765 --> 00:19:12,165

-Эти догадки вели к тому что, весь "заговор 9/11", может быть опровергнут научно.

00:19:12,195 --> 00:19:14,375

-И тогда Френку пришла самая большая догадка.

00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:16,805

-Она былааа огрооооооооомной.

00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:22,035

-Все сайты посвященные "Заговору 9/11", поддерживает правительство,.

00:19:22,075 --> 00:19:27,225

-"Заговор 9/11" это правительственный заговор...

00:19:27,255 --> 00:19:28,525

-О Боже...

00:19:28,565 --> 00:19:31,375

-Зачем правительству, делать так чтобы люди думали, что это правительство замешано в 9/11

00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:34,925

-Правительству нужна сила, что бы иметь полный контроль.

00:19:34,995 --> 00:19:40,275

-Какой наилучший способ заставить людей боятся, правительства? Убедить их в том, что то что произошло 11ого сентября - изощренный план, придуманный правительством, что бы добиться своих целей?

00:19:40,275 --> 00:19:40,645

-Достаточно, Хардли.

-Какой наилучший способ заставить людей боятся, правительства? Убедить их в том, что то что произошло 11ого сентября - изощренный план, придуманный правительством, что бы добиться своих целей?

00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:42,505

-Достаточно, Хардли.

00:19:43,605 --> 00:19:45,115

-Не верьте тому, что он говорит, мальчики.

00:19:45,155 --> 00:19:48,425

Мы подстроили то что случилось 11ого сентября. Все доказательства здесь, в этой секретной папке.

00:19:48,425 --> 00:19:48,795

-Но вы ее никогда не получите...

Мы подстроили то что случилось 11ого сентября. Все доказательства здесь, в этой секретной папке.

00:19:48,795 --> 00:19:50,975

-Но вы ее никогда не получите...

00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:58,275

-Я так и знал! Вы не подстраивали 9/11, вы не застрелили того парня!

00:19:58,755 --> 00:20:00,365

-Мальчики вы не понимаете,

00:20:00,405 --> 00:20:02,615

люди должны думать, что мы всемогущи, что мы контролируем весь мир.

00:20:02,655 --> 00:20:08,035

что мы контролируем весь мир.

Если мы не контролировали 11ое сентября - значит мы не можем вообще ничего контролировать! :(

00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:10,495

-Почему вы просто не скажите правду людям?

00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:13,985

-Мы так и сделали, и почти все поверили в правду,

00:20:14,075 --> 00:20:16,855

но 1/4 нации - пенсионеры,

00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:21,205

если они думают, что мы все контролируем

с помощью интер-корпораций, мы не против!

00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:26,435

-Только одна вещь, господин президент?

Откуда вы блять узнали, где мы?

00:20:29,265 --> 00:20:32,835

-Почему ты просто не пошел домой, чувак? Это все что нам нужно было сделать.

00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,995

-Стэн? Что за хуйня?

00:20:35,035 --> 00:20:36,825

-Всё было спланировано.

00:20:36,865 --> 00:20:39,985

-Всё было спланировано. Почему?

00:20:40,015 --> 00:20:42,025

-Потому что это был я...

00:20:42,065 --> 00:20:45,005

-Я тот кто насрал в писсуар.

00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:45,465

-Чего?

00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,715

-Кабинки были заняты, я не хотел обосраться.

00:20:47,745 --> 00:20:49,605

-Я подумал насрать в писсуар это не преступление

00:20:49,635 --> 00:20:51,165

-И так ты обвинил правительство?

00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:57,335

-И правительство приняло обвинения, это добавило им очков в версии о "правительственном заговоре 9/11"

00:20:57,485 --> 00:20:59,705

-Ну блин, теперь все узнают

00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:02,985

-Почему эти дурацкие Hardly Boys, так хорошо умеют раскрывать секреты?

00:21:03,015 --> 00:21:04,005

-Так, подождите...

00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:07,555

Стэн насрал в писсуар, и он связался с сайтом "заговор 9/11"?

00:21:07,585 --> 00:21:09,785

Но сайт "заговора" поддерживался правительством?

00:21:09,815 --> 00:21:10,565

-Ага.

00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:12,595

-Кто тогда несет ответственность за 11ое сентября?

00:21:12,635 --> 00:21:14,595

-В смысле? - Кучка ебанутых мусульман!

00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,655

-Ага, ты что пенсионер?

00:21:19,065 --> 00:21:24,925

-Ну похоже эта тайна - раскрыта, настало время расплаты

00:21:27,505 --> 00:21:31,235

-Гадить в писсуар плохо

00:21:31,305 --> 00:21:35,715

-Как бы ты себя чувствовал, если кто-нибудь пришел к тебе домой,

00:21:35,755 --> 00:21:40,655

-Снял штаны, и надристал твоей маме прямо на лицо?

00:21:41,535 --> 00:21:43,405

-Ты думаешь это смешно?

00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:44,865

-Да это просто уржатся можно!

eng__.srt

eng__.srt

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,446

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:32,950

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:39,999

And so, class, that is when

Jolie countered back to Aniston

00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,501

and said things like --

00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,045

Oh, hello, Mr. Mackey.

00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,255

All the girls go out

in the hall, please.

00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,050

I need to speak with the boys

of this class, m'kay.

00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,513

Boys, we have

a very serious problem.

00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,849

I've just come from

the men's restroom,

00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,103

and somebody went number two

in the urinal.

00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,898

What's a urinal?

00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,775

The wall toilet for peeing in.

00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:09,612

And some jokester

took a poop in it, m'kay.

00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,448

Now, I want whoever did it

to come forward right now,

00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,077

and it will be less painful

for everybody, m'kay?

00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,162

Who would take a dump

in the urinal?

00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,914

It's such a s-senseless crime.

00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,791

Mr. Mackey, I think

you might want to entertain

00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,793

that this is some kind

of conspiracy.

00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,086

Just like 9/11.

00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,504

Oh, God!

Here we go again.

00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,589

9/11 was not a conspiracy,

fat-ass!

00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:29,548

Oh, really?

00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,342

Do you just believe everything

you're told, Kyle?

00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,468

Excuse me!

00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,595

Can we get back to the issue,

please?

00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,973

You all don't seem to understand

how serious this is!

00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,142

Now, who made dookie

in the urinal?

00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,521

Oh, you think it's funny, huh?

00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,022

M'kay!

M'kay!

00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,359

You're gonna think it's real

funny when the police get here!

00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,027

I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey,

00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,404

but there just isn't really

any evidence to go on.

00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,406

But there must have been

some motive.

00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,326

Nobody would just dook

in the urinal for no reason.

00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,287

But who would benefit

from crapping in the urinal?

00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,456

This is too big a mystery

for me.

00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,167

I think we better call in

the Hardly Boys.

00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,384

The Hardly Boys --

two young whippersnappers

00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,427

with a knack

for solving mysteries!

00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,971

The Hardly Boys in...

00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,017

So that's it, Hardly Boys.

00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,436

We've got no leads and nobody

admitting to the crime.

00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,147

That sure is a mystery.

00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,440

Yeah.

It sounds super hard.

00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,694

Whoever did it must have been

angry with the school.

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,197

Oh.

Oh, I think I'm getting a clue.

00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,490

Really?

00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,368

Yeah, this is totally

giving me a clue right now.

00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,705

Oh, I'm starting

to get a clue, too!

00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,790

My clue's kind of pointing

this way.

00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:48,085

Oh. Yeah.

Now I've got a total clue.

00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,671

I've still got a raging clue.

00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,090

My clue's pointing

over there now!

00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:56,510

Oh, let's follow that clue.

00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,600

Did they find out who crapped

in the urinal yet?

00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,684

Not yet.

00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,603

They aren't going to find out

who did it.

00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,605

But they'll make up a scapegoat,

send him to detention,

00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:08,981

and make us all believe it.

00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,733

It'll be 9/11 all over again.

00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,401

Will you shut up about 9/11?

00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,403

Kyle, why are you so afraid

of the truth?

00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,823

Because anybody who thinks 9/11

was a conspiracy is a retard!

00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:18,824

Oh, really?

00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,868

Well, did you know over

one-fourth of people in America

00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,703

think that 9/11

was a conspiracy?

00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,080

Are you saying that one-fourth

of Americans are retards?

00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,833

Yes, I'm saying one-fourth

of Americans are retards.

00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,210

Yeah, at least one-fourth.

00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,003

Let's take a test sample.

There's four of us.

00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,422

You're a retard.

That's one-fourth.

00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,591

There are so many people

who know the truth, Kyle.

00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,508

Butters!

00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:37,968

Hey, fellas!

00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,803

Butters, do you think

9/11 was just a plot

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:40,930

by some angry terrorists,

00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,723

or do you think there was

some kind of cover-up?

00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,143

Well, I heard that 9/11

was caused by President Bush.

00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,436

Aha!

You see?

00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,562

Where did you hear that?

00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,190

- From Eric.

- I rest my case.

00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,442

Butters, you don't really

believe that, do you?

00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,736

Well, I mean, you never know.

00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,905

The government does

some pretty spooky things.

00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,949

The government and the

corporations headed by the Jews

00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,575

that carried out 9/11.

00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,494

- That's right, Butters.

- God damn it!

00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,163

You see what happens when you

spread this crap, fat-ass?!

00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,332

- What? People see the truth?

- Can I go now?

00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,375

You guys are blind!

00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,584

I can't believe everyone here

00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,586

is just buying into what

they're told by the media.

00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,171

I'm gonna go find out the truth.

00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,215

I'm gonna blow the lid off

this whole 9/11 conspiracy

00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,216

once and for all!

00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,884

Oh, no.

00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,848

♪ Is it wrong for me

to ask questions? ♪

00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,435

♪ Is it wrong to seek

the truth? ♪

00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,563

♪ I can't just blindly accept

their version ♪

00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,692

♪ I can't base my logic

on proof ♪

00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,945

♪ Almost all the evidence

points one way ♪

00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,615

♪ But I'm like Charlie Sheen

and Gloria Estefan ♪

00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,660

♪ I need to know

what really happened ♪

00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,577

♪ On 9/11 ♪

00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:47,913

♪ 'Leven, 'leven,

'leven, 'leven ♪

00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:52,626

♪ What really happened on 9/11 ♪

00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:57,006

Of course.

It's so obvious.

00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,050

How did we not see it before?

00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,428

This is my frog.

He doesn't have a name.

00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,888

He's a frog, not a toad,

because toads don't ribbit.

00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,016

I think frogs are good pets.

00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,561

Okay.

Thank you, Leroy.

00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,439

Thanks for sharing your

dumb little frog with the class.

00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,400

Okay. Anybody else have anything

for show-and-tell?

00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,653

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Uhhh!

00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,613

All right, Eric.

You can go next.

00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,493

For show-and-tell today,

I have brought

00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,913

my shocking PowerPoint report

on the truth...

00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,458

behind the 9/11 attacks.

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:33,709

Oh, Christ.

00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,795

We are told to believe

that the fire from the jet fuel

00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,756

melted the steel framing

of the towers,

00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,215

which led to their collapse.

00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,717

But did you know

jet fuel doesn't burn

00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,053

at a high enough temperature

to melt steel?

00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,681

We were told the Pentagon was

hit by a hijacked plane as well.

00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,558

But now look at this photo

of the Pentagon.

00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,893

The hole is not

nearly big enough.

00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,479

And if a plane hit it,

where's the rest of the plane?

00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,064

Whoa.

00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,482

So now

the inevitable question --

00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,650

If terrorists didn't cause 9/11,

who did?

00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,903

Remember that there are,

in fact, two towers.

00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,572

Two minus one is one --

one, one -- 11.

00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,075

Two minus one is one.

One, one.

00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,159

And there are nine members

00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,327

on Silverstein's board

of directors.

00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,788

That's 9-1-1 -- 9/11.

00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:14,625

And take two minus one

plus 9-11, and you get 12.

00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,712

Which leads us all to the

mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.

00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,048

Kyle.

00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,466

Me?

00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,259

Twelve contains the numbers 1

and 2,

00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,511

just like the toilet yesterday,

00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,429

where somebody went number two

instead of number one.

00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,391

Add one and two with 911,

and you get 914.

00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,059

Drop the 4, and it's 91 --

00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,144

exactly the score Kyle got

on his spelling test

00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,813

12 days after 9/11!

00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,023

Who had the most to gain

from 9/11? Kyle!

00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,109

Who was nowhere to be found

the morning the towers fell?

00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:40,818

Kyle!

00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,986

Who dropped the deuce

in the urinal? Kyle!

00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,655

But probably the most damning

of all

00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,324

is the evidence seen

in this photo of tower 2.

00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,660

When I zoomed in, I saw what

first appeared to be a blur.

00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,829

But when I computer-enhanced

it...

00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,708

You almost got away with it,

you sneaky butthole.

00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,758

Hey, Token.

00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,680

Y-You gonna watch the game

tonight, Butters?

00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,223

Aah!

00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,809

All right.

All right!

00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,562

I was not responsible for 9/11!

00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,274

God damn it!

00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,445

Hello, boubbie.

How was school today?

00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:25,612

Terrible.

00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,073

Oh, come on.

School isn't all that bad.

00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,826

But everyone thinks

I was responsible for 9/11.

00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,911

Wha-Wha-What?!

00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,371

We have to do something.

00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,123

It is obvious our children

00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,625

are still completely confused

about 9/11!

00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,961

Yes, we need to go over it

again in the classrooms

00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,255

so they understand

what really happened.

00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,424

Well, what really happened?

00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:46,800

There's strong evidence

00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,344

that what we were told

isn't the truth.

00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,096

- Oh, no.

- Oh, brother.

00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,055

That's right.

00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,308

Did you know

there were explosions seen

00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,143

at the base of the towers?

00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,020

- No, no.

- Are you retarded?

00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,646

Look, whatever you believe,

00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,441

the fact of the matter

is somebody...

00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,568

dropped a dook

in the school urinal,

00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,653

and there's still no explanation

for that!

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,406

Mr. Mackey, there are more

important things going on here.

00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,449

More important?

00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,658

You aren't the one

00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,411

who had to walk into

the boys' bathroom, m'kay,

00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,997

after having to wake up early,

you know.

00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,249

There's no -- no coffee

in the teachers' lounge,

00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,792

and then you --

you walk into the bathroom

00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,545

just to find a big dook

laying there in the urinal,

00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,963

like it's laughing at you!

00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,131

He's right!

00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,926

The turd could have been

put in there to cover up 9/11!

00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,303

No, I'm not saying

they're related!

00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,055

How do we know they're not?

00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,683

We need to be brave enough

to ask questions.

00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,102

It's obvious that before we go

any further,

00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,648

we need to find out who was

behind 9/11 once and for all!

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,107

Who else could it have been?

00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,109

This is too big a mystery

for me.

00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,403

I think we'd better call in

the Hardly Boys.

00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,280

Oh, no.

Not the goddamn --

00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,659

The Hardly Boys --

two young whippersnappers

00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,410

with a taste

for solving mysteries.

00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,787

The Hardly Boys in...

00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,668

So that's about the long

and short of it, Hardly Boys.

00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,129

There were two towers that stood

right here, and they're gone.

00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,423

And nobody knows

who's responsible?

00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,759

There are theories,

but nobody's certain.

00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,805

Hmm. Who would benefit most

from two buildings disappearing?

00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,516

Ooh. Oh, I just started

getting a clue.

00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:18,433

Really?

00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,811

Yeah.

I'm totally getting a clue.

00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,313

Oh.

Oh, that's giving me a clue.

00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,108

Yeah. Y-Yeah. I've got

a raging clue right now.

00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,651

Mine's pointing to the left.

00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,613

Oh. Oh, Frank, seriously, I have

such a raging clue right now.

00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,490

I think we'd better follow it.

00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,284

Okay.

Let's follow your raging clue.

00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,955

Godspeed.

00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,723

- Kyle!

- Aah!

00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,766

Dude, do you mind telling me

why CIA guys

00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,019

are coming to my house

and questioning me about you?

00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,103

I don't know, dude!

00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,688

It's like everyone's

putting pieces together

00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,689

that aren't there!

00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,190

But why did you

have to involve me?

00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,067

- It's not my fault!

- All right. Look.

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,569

I've been doing research

on the Web,

00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,446

and I found an organization

who says they can prove

00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,739

you weren't involved in 9/11.

00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,157

- Really?

- Come on.

00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,908

We'll go out the back

so they don't see you.

00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,328

There's just one thing

I need to know before we go.

00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,331

You weren't responsible

for 9/11, right?

00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,168

Dude.

00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,669

That's all I needed.

00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091

Now, you might all think

I've given up

00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,761

finding who crapped

in the urinal, m'kay.

00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,222

And maybe -- maybe you think

it's a victimless crime.

00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:43,185

This is Mr. Venezuela,

the school janitor, m'kay.

00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,896

He's the person

who has to clean up

00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,483

when some trickster drops a dook

in the wrong toilet.

00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,945

Mr. Venezuela makes six bucks

an hour at best, m'kay.

00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,947

He's got three kids at home.

00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,658

He's got a car

that barely works.

00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,744

He's got to clean up puke

with sawdust, m'kay.

00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,579

Then he walks

into the boys' room

00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,499

and sees a big, meaty chud

starin' him in the face.

00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:09,169

So when you crapped

in that urinal, m'kay,

00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,171

you might as well have

just dropped your pants

00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,924

and laid a turd right

on Mr. Venezuela's head.

00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,344

Oh, you think it's funny, huh?

00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,013

Mr. Mackey, we got him!

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:20,847

Huh?

00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,725

We caught the person

that did it.

00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,899

Hi.

We were hoping you can help us.

00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,693

My friend is being blamed

for 9/11.

00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,529

Oh, geez.

Come on in, kids.

00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,656

It doesn't surprise me.

00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,283

More and more people are being

blamed for 9/11 every day.

00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,368

- They are?

- Yeah.

00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,287

It's a way of keeping people

from seeing the real evidence.

00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,622

I know it seems crazy,

00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,041

but 9/11 was pulled off

by our own government

00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,794

so they could gain support

for attacking the Middle East.

00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,295

What?

No, no, no.

00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,797

I know it's hard to believe.

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,007

Dude, why would the government

attack its own buildings?

00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,093

It's called

the false-flag policy.

00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,137

Make it look like the enemy

has attacked you.

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,098

Get all your citizens riled up

and waving American flags.

00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,226

Then you're free to invade

any country you want.

00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,603

That's retarded.

00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,230

Look into the evidence of 9/11,

00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,482

and you'll see there are a lot

of holes in their story.

00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,317

There's a lot of holes

in the theory of evolution, too.

00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,402

It doesn't mean it's wrong.

00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,903

You don't understand!

00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,739

The government controls

everything.

00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,323

The media, the corporations.

00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,492

They have the power

to do anything they want!

00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,203

Here. Look.

Read the labels on these!

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,246

Go on!

Read them!

00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540

"Code 2-3-4."

00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,834

We think they came

from a government office.

00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,753

- What is it?

- It's anthrax.

00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,171

Anthrax?

00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,506

Someday we'll use it

as evidence against them.

00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,717

Stan, we can't be seen

with this nut job!

00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,099

Aw! Aw!

Awwwww!

00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,061

Why, Clyde?

Why did you do it?

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,105

I don't know.

00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,317

You've got a whole school here,

Clyde, m'kay?

00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,361

You've got over 300 people

that need to use the boys' room.

00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:01,031

And you decide you're gonna

be a comedian, m'kay,

00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,866

and pinch one off in the urinal

00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,118

and leave it laying there for

everyone to have to look at.

00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,995

Okay, okay.

00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,581

You think it's funny,

but nobody else does.

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,166

They've got to walk

into that bathroom

00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,834

and see your rancid dook

propped up

00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,545

against the back of the urinal

like a brown rag doll.

00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,965

Mr. Mackey,

Clyde's parents are here.

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,467

M'kay.

That's good.

00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:21,927

Let's see what your mom and dad

have to say

00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,595

about your little poopscapade.

00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,596

Come on in, please.

00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,181

I'm just trying to get your son

to explain

00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,600

why he would drop a dook

in the urinal.

00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:33,271

Mr. Mackey...there's something

you should know.

00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,363

Excuse me.

There's been a misunderstanding.

00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,323

Come on in, Mr. President.

00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,494

Uh, Mr. President, my name is --

00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,662

Shut up!

00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,372

You think we don't know

your name?

00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,540

We know everything.

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583

We control everything.

00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,627

We've all worked very hard

00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,547

to keep our involvement in 9/11

a secret.

00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,299

But you just had to

keep digging.

00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,676

Really?

00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,220

You won't get away with it.

People know.

00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,098

People?

You mean sheeple.

00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,601

We have the majority of them

kept in blissful ignorance.

00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,813

Just one more leak to fix.

00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,898

Wait.

What are you doing?

00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,693

You've been a thorn in our side

for too long, I'm afraid.

00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,903

No.

You can't do this!

00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,488

Please!

I'll stop.

00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,699

I'll take down the website.

00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,786

Too late.

00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,206

Jesus Christ!

00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,419

He died like a pig.

00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,337

Some pigs never learn.

00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,007

No way.

00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,134

He was right.

You did cause 9/11!

00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,343

Yes.

00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,221

Quite simple to pull off,

really.

00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,682

All I had to do was have

explosives planted

00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,434

in the base of the towers.

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,478

Then on 9/11, we pretended like

four planes were being hijacked

00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,606

when really we just rerouted

them to Pennsylvania,

00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,066

then flew two military jets

into the World Trade Center

00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,193

filled with more explosives

and shot down all the witnesses

00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:03,820

in Flight 93 with an F-15

00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,072

after blowing up the Pentagon

with a cruise missile.

00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,325

It was only

the world's most intricate

00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,953

and flawlessly executed

plan ever, ever.

00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,415

Really?

00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,333

Why?

00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:19,085

The oldest reason

in the world -- money.

00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,170

The towers fell,

00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,089

and the American sheeple

all waved their flags.

00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,091

Finally we could invade Iraq

00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:28,637

and get the oil which made us

all even richer than before.

00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,181

Beautiful money.

00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,308

Really?

00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,809

Is the whole government

in on this?

00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,229

We are all-knowing

and all-powerful.

00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,440

Goodbye, boys.

00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,529

Dang it!

I missed again!

00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,114

For Christ's sake, Cheney!

00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,408

Kyle, run!

00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,245

Kill them!

00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,667

Attention, students.

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,127

Apparently Clyde could not

have been the one

00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,629

who crapped in the urinal,

00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:06,758

because Clyde had a colostomy

at age 5, m'kay.

00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,469

Now, whoever did

this unspeakable act

00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,720

is still at large.

00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,974

The boys' bathroom is closed

until further notice

00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,768

because one of you thought

it would be a good idea

00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,521

to pull down your pants, m'kay,

00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,357

hover your butt cheeks

over the urinal,

00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,069

and squeeze out

a chocolate hot dog, m'kay.

00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,447

Oh, you think that's funny, huh?

00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,783

Let me assure you

there is nothing funny

00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,996

about going up to a nice, clean,

unsuspecting urinal, m'kay,

00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,582

dropping your pants

and then turning around,

00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,835

squatting over that urinal,

m'kay,

00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,588

maybe pulling your butt cheeks

apart with your hands, m'kay,

00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,799

and then laying out

a big fudge dragon

00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,300

for all the world to see.

00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,512

Oh, yeah.

That's real funny.

00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,723

I'm gonna catch

this son of a bitch

00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:58,435

if it's the last thing I do,

m'kay!

00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,485

All right. Now we have to

switch over to inner bus 65.

00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,695

We made it, dude.

00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,363

We should be home

in less than 18 hours.

00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,449

Then we'll tell everyone

what we saw!

00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,951

It just doesn't seem right.

00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,578

Yeah.

Our eyes are finally open, dude.

00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,455

It's like waking up

for the first time.

00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,832

Yeah, but doesn't it seem like

00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,917

we got out of the White House

pretty easily?

00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,878

I mean, it seems like

it would be pretty hard

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,421

to escape from the White House

with everyone chasing you,

00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214

and we just kind of...ran out.

00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,050

Well, dude,

maybe we're just super badass.

00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,468

Have you thought of that?

00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,928

Hey!

00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,600

Dude.

You're alive?

00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,146

Come back here!

00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,069

Hey!

00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,912

Aah!

00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,705

Aah!

00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,707

Aah!

Aah!

00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,751

No! Please!

Please!

00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,753

Dude, what the hell is going on?

00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,962

Don't kill me!

00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,422

I-I just do what they say!

00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,758

- What who says?

- I have a family!

00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,052

Please don't kill me!

00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,970

Dude, we aren't going to

kill you!

00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390

Oh, God!

00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,184

It isn't safe here, boys!

Follow me!

00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,477

Who the are you?

00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,896

There's no time!

Come on!

00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,446

Do you mind telling us

what the hell is going on?

00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,740

- Who are you?

- I'm a detective.

00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,159

And I'm afraid you kids

have been double-crossed.

00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,453

You've figured

this thing all out?

00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,872

Not me.

My mystery-solving sons.

00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,040

Come on in, boys.

00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,919

My boys were researching

who went number two

00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,045

in the urinal at your school

00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,631

when they discovered something

odd, which gave them a clue.

00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,550

It gave us both a clue.

00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:57,137

That clue lead them to

a 9/11 conspiracy group party,

00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,930

where they got a lot more clues.

00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,766

I was getting a clue

like every two minutes.

00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,726

I got such a raging clue

00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,312

that I almost shot clue goo

all over Joe.

00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,149

Those clues pointed out that all

the 9/11 conspiracy theories

00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,651

could be disproven

scientifically.

00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,862

And that's when Frank got

his biggest clue.

00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,322

It was huge.

00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,409

That all the 9/11

conspiracy websites

00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,578

are run by the government.

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:26,666

The 9/11 conspiracy

is a government conspiracy.

00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,001

Oh, Jesus.

00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,127

Why would the government

00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,962

want people to think

they caused 9/11?

00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,297

For a government to have power,

00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,591

they must appear to have

complete control.

00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,050

What better way

to make people fear them

00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594

than to convince them

they are capable

00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,220

of the most elaborate plan

on earth?

00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,014

That's quite enough, Hardly!

00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,100

Don't believe what he says,

boys.

00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,393

We caused 9/11.

00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,562

It's all right here

in these secret documents.

00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,064

But you'll never get them.

00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,069

I knew it!

00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,031

You didn't plan 9/11 and you

didn't really shoot that guy!

00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,241

Boys, you don't understand.

00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,368

People need to think

we're all-powerful,

00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,661

that we control the world.

00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,413

If they know we weren't

in charge of 9/11,

00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,373

then we appear to control

nothing.

00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,918

Why don't you just tell people

the truth?

00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,711

We do that, too.

00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,588

And most people believe

the truth.

00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,424

But one-fourth of the population

is retarded.

00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,468

If they want to believe

that we control everything

00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,595

with intricate plans,

why not let them?

00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,931

Just one thing, Mr. President.

00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,850

How the devil did you know

we were all here?

00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,730

How come you couldn't

just go home, dude?

00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,440

That's all we had to do.

00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,525

- Stan!

- What the

00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,319

It was all planned out.

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446

You knew this whole time?

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,739

Why?

00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,616

Because it was me.

00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,118

I'm the one who took a dump

in the urinal.

00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,119

What?

00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,247

The stalls were full, and I

didn't want to miss recess!

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,207

I didn't think it would

turn into such a big deal!

00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,667

So you blamed the government?

00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,503

And the government was more

than willing to take the blame,

00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,547

so long as it made them

look responsible for 9/11.

00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,217

Aw, man,

now everyone's gonna know.

00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,677

Why did the stupid Hardly Boys

00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,595

have to be so good

at solving mysteries?

00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,763

So wait.

Wait.

00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,139

Stan took the dump

in the urinal,

00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,225

and he contacted

the conspiracy website,

00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,310

but the conspiracy site

was run by the government?

00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,061

Yeah.

00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,355

So then who was responsible

for 9/11?

00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,274

What do you mean?

A bunch of pissed-off Muslims.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,900

Yeah.

What are you, retarded?

00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,114

Well, it looks like

this mystery is solved.

00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,450

It's time for the culprit

to finally pay.

00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:30,540

When you dook in the urinal,

it's bad, m'kay?

00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:35,044

How would you feel if somebody

came into your home, m'kay,

00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:36,546

pulled down their pants,

00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,757

and laid a big mud monkey

right on your mom's face?

00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,885

Oh, you think that's funny, huh?

00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,846

Yeah, that's real funny.

eng__SDH.srt

eng__SDH.srt

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,446

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:32,950

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,911

[ Bell rings ]

00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:39,999

And so, class, that is when

Jolie countered back to Aniston

00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,501

and said things like --

00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,045

Oh, hello, Mr. Mackey.

00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,255

All the girls go out

in the hall, please.

00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,050

I need to speak with the boys

of this class, m'kay.

00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,513

Boys, we have

a very serious problem.

00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,849

I've just come from

the men's restroom,

00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,103

and somebody went number two

in the urinal.

00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,898

What's a urinal?

00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,775

The wall toilet for peeing in.

00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:09,612

And some jokester

took a poop in it, m'kay.

00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,448

Now, I want whoever did it

to come forward right now,

00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,077

and it will be less painful

for everybody, m'kay?

00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,162

Who would take a dump

in the urinal?

00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,914

It's such a s-senseless crime.

00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,791

Mr. Mackey, I think

you might want to entertain

00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,793

that this is some kind

of conspiracy.

00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,086

Just like 9/11.

00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,504

Oh, God!

Here we go again.

00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,589

9/11 was not a conspiracy,

fat-ass!

00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:29,548

Oh, really?

00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,342

Do you just believe everything

you're told, Kyle?

00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,468

Excuse me!

00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,595

Can we get back to the issue,

please?

00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,973

You all don't seem to understand

how serious this is!

00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,142

Now, who made dookie

in the urinal?

00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,521

- [ Laughter ]

- Oh, you think it's funny, huh?

00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,022

M'kay!

M'kay!

00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,359

You're gonna think it's real

funny when the police get here!

00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,027

MAN:

I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey,

00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,404

but there just isn't really

any evidence to go on.

00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,406

But there must have been

some motive.

00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,326

Nobody would just dook

in the urinal for no reason.

00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,287

But who would benefit

from crapping in the urinal?

00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,456

This is too big a mystery

for me.

00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,167

I think we better call in

the Hardly Boys.

00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,045

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,384

MAN: The Hardly Boys --

two young whippersnappers

00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,427

with a knack

for solving mysteries!

00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,971

The Hardly Boys in...

00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,017

So that's it, Hardly Boys.

00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,436

We've got no leads and nobody

admitting to the crime.

00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,147

That sure is a mystery.

00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,440

Yeah.

It sounds super hard.

00:02:28,566 --> 00:02:31,694

Whoever did it must have been

angry with the school.

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,197

Oh.

Oh, I think I'm getting a clue.

00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,490

Really?

00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,368

Yeah, this is totally

giving me a clue right now.

00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,705

Oh, I'm starting

to get a clue, too!

00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,790

My clue's kind of pointing

this way.

00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:48,085

Oh. Yeah.

Now I've got a total clue.

00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,671

I've still got a raging clue.

00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,090

My clue's pointing

over there now!

00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:56,510

Oh, let's follow that clue.

00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,306

[ Bell rings ]

00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:02,600

Did they find out who crapped

in the urinal yet?

00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,684

Not yet.

00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,603

They aren't going to find out

who did it.

00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,605

But they'll make up a scapegoat,

send him to detention,

00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:08,981

and make us all believe it.

00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,733

It'll be 9/11 all over again.

00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,401

Will you shut up about 9/11?

00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,403

Kyle, why are you so afraid

of the truth?

00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,823

Because anybody who thinks 9/11

was a conspiracy is a retard!

00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:18,824

Oh, really?

00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,868

Well, did you know over

one-fourth of people in America

00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,703

think that 9/11

was a conspiracy?

00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,080

Are you saying that one-fourth

of Americans are retards?

00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,833

Yes, I'm saying one-fourth

of Americans are retards.

00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,210

Yeah, at least one-fourth.

00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,003

Let's take a test sample.

There's four of us.

00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,422

You're a retard.

That's one-fourth.

00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,591

There are so many people

who know the truth, Kyle.

00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,508

Butters!

00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:37,968

Hey, fellas!

00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,803

Butters, do you think

9/11 was just a plot

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:40,930

by some angry terrorists,

00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,723

or do you think there was

some kind of cover-up?

00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,143

Well, I heard that 9/11

was caused by President Bush.

00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,436

Aha!

You see?

00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,562

Where did you hear that?

00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,190

- From Eric.

- I rest my case.

00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,442

Butters, you don't really

believe that, do you?

00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,736

Well, I mean, you never know.

00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,905

The government does

some pretty spooky things.

00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,949

The government and the

corporations headed by the Jews

00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,575

that carried out 9/11.

00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,494

- That's right, Butters.

- God damn it!

00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:06,163

You see what happens when you

spread this crap, fat-ass?!

00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,332

- What? People see the truth?

- Can I go now?

00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,375

You guys are blind!

00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,584

I can't believe everyone here

00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,586

is just buying into what

they're told by the media.

00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,171

I'm gonna go find out the truth.

00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,215

I'm gonna blow the lid off

this whole 9/11 conspiracy

00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,216

once and for all!

00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,884

Oh, no.

00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,637

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,848

♪ Is it wrong for me

to ask questions? ♪

00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,435

♪ Is it wrong to seek

the truth? ♪

00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,563

♪ I can't just blindly accept

their version ♪

00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,692

♪ I can't base my logic

on proof ♪

00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,945

♪ Almost all the evidence

points one way ♪

00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,615

♪ But I'm like Charlie Sheen

and Gloria Estefan ♪

00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,660

♪ I need to know

what really happened ♪

00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,577

♪ On 9/11 ♪

00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:47,913

♪ 'Leven, 'leven,

'leven, 'leven ♪

00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:52,626

♪ What really happened on 9/11 ♪

00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:57,006

Of course.

It's so obvious.

00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,050

How did we not see it before?

00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,428

This is my frog.

He doesn't have a name.

00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,888

He's a frog, not a toad,

because toads don't ribbit.

00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,016

I think frogs are good pets.

00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,851

[ Scattered applause ]

00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,561

Okay.

Thank you, Leroy.

00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,439

Thanks for sharing your

dumb little frog with the class.

00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,400

Okay. Anybody else have anything

for show-and-tell?

00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,653

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Uhhh!

00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,613

All right, Eric.

You can go next.

00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,493

For show-and-tell today,

I have brought

00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,913

my shocking PowerPoint report

on the truth...

00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,458

behind the 9/11 attacks.

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:33,709

Oh, Christ.

00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,795

We are told to believe

that the fire from the jet fuel

00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,756

melted the steel framing

of the towers,

00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,215

which led to their collapse.

00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,717

But did you know

jet fuel doesn't burn

00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,053

at a high enough temperature

to melt steel?

00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,681

We were told the Pentagon was

hit by a hijacked plane as well.

00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,558

But now look at this photo

of the Pentagon.

00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,893

The hole is not

nearly big enough.

00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,479

And if a plane hit it,

where's the rest of the plane?

00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,064

Whoa.

00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:56,482

So now

the inevitable question --

00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,650

If terrorists didn't cause 9/11,

who did?

00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,903

Remember that there are,

in fact, two towers.

00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,572

Two minus one is one --

one, one -- 11.

00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,075

Two minus one is one.

One, one.

00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,159

And there are nine members

00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,327

on Silverstein's board

of directors.

00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,788

That's 9-1-1 -- 9/11.

00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:14,625

And take two minus one

plus 9-11, and you get 12.

00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,712

Which leads us all to the

mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.

00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,048

Kyle.

00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,466

Me?

00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,259

Twelve contains the numbers 1

and 2,

00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,511

just like the toilet yesterday,

00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,429

where somebody went number two

instead of number one.

00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,391

Add one and two with 911,

and you get 914.

00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,059

Drop the 4, and it's 91 --

00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,144

exactly the score Kyle got

on his spelling test

00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,813

12 days after 9/11!

00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,023

Who had the most to gain

from 9/11? Kyle!

00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,109

Who was nowhere to be found

the morning the towers fell?

00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:40,818

Kyle!

00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,986

Who dropped the deuce

in the urinal? Kyle!

00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,655

But probably the most damning

of all

00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,324

is the evidence seen

in this photo of tower 2.

00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,660

When I zoomed in, I saw what

first appeared to be a blur.

00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,829

But when I computer-enhanced

it...

00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,708

You almost got away with it,

you sneaky butthole.

00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,546

[ Bell rings ]

00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,758

Hey, Token.

00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,052

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,680

Y-You gonna watch the game

tonight, Butters?

00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,223

Aah!

00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,809

All right.

All right!

00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,562

I was not responsible for 9/11!

00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,274

God damn it!

00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,445

Hello, boubbie.

How was school today?

00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:25,612

Terrible.

00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,073

Oh, come on.

School isn't all that bad.

00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,826

But everyone thinks

I was responsible for 9/11.

00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,911

Wha-Wha-What?!

00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,371

KYLE'S MOM:

We have to do something.

00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,123

It is obvious our children

00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,625

are still completely confused

about 9/11!

00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,961

Yes, we need to go over it

again in the classrooms

00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,255

so they understand

what really happened.

00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,424

Well, what really happened?

00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:46,800

There's strong evidence

00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,344

that what we were told

isn't the truth.

00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,096

- Oh, no.

- Oh, brother.

00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,055

That's right.

00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:54,308

Did you know

there were explosions seen

00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,143

at the base of the towers?

00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,020

- No, no.

- Are you retarded?

00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,646

Look, whatever you believe,

00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,441

the fact of the matter

is somebody...

00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,568

dropped a dook

in the school urinal,

00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,653

and there's still no explanation

for that!

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,406

Mr. Mackey, there are more

important things going on here.

00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:10,449

More important?

00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,658

You aren't the one

00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,411

who had to walk into

the boys' bathroom, m'kay,

00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,997

after having to wake up early,

you know.

00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,249

There's no -- no coffee

in the teachers' lounge,

00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,792

and then you --

you walk into the bathroom

00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,545

just to find a big dook

laying there in the urinal,

00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,963

like it's laughing at you!

00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,131

He's right!

00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,926

The turd could have been

put in there to cover up 9/11!

00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,303

No, I'm not saying

they're related!

00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,055

How do we know they're not?

00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,683

We need to be brave enough

to ask questions.

00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,102

It's obvious that before we go

any further,

00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,648

we need to find out who was

behind 9/11 once and for all!

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,107

Who else could it have been?

00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,109

This is too big a mystery

for me.

00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,403

I think we'd better call in

the Hardly Boys.

00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,280

Oh, no.

Not the goddamn --

00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,659

MAN: The Hardly Boys --

two young whippersnappers

00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,410

with a taste

for solving mysteries.

00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,787

The Hardly Boys in...

00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,668

So that's about the long

and short of it, Hardly Boys.

00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,129

There were two towers that stood

right here, and they're gone.

00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,423

And nobody knows

who's responsible?

00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,759

There are theories,

but nobody's certain.

00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,805

Hmm. Who would benefit most

from two buildings disappearing?

00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,516

Ooh. Oh, I just started

getting a clue.

00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:18,433

Really?

00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,811

Yeah.

I'm totally getting a clue.

00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,313

Oh.

Oh, that's giving me a clue.

00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,108

Yeah. Y-Yeah. I've got

a raging clue right now.

00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,651

Mine's pointing to the left.

00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,613

Oh. Oh, Frank, seriously, I have

such a raging clue right now.

00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,490

I think we'd better follow it.

00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,284

Okay.

Let's follow your raging clue.

00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,911

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,955

Godspeed.

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:46,086

[ Insects chirping ]

00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:49,506

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,886

[ Indistinct talking on radio ]

00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,723

- Kyle!

- Aah!

00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,766

Dude, do you mind telling me

why CIA guys

00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,019

are coming to my house

and questioning me about you?

00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,103

I don't know, dude!

00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,688

It's like everyone's

putting pieces together

00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,689

that aren't there!

00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,190

But why did you

have to involve me?

00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,067

- It's not my fault!

- All right. Look.

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,569

I've been doing research

on the Web,

00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,446

and I found an organization

who says they can prove

00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,739

you weren't involved in 9/11.

00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,157

- Really?

- Come on.

00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,908

We'll go out the back

so they don't see you.

00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,328

There's just one thing

I need to know before we go.

00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,331

You weren't responsible

for 9/11, right?

00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,168

Dude.

00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,669

That's all I needed.

00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:30,964

[ Bell rings ]

00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,091

Now, you might all think

I've given up

00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,761

finding who crapped

in the urinal, m'kay.

00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,222

And maybe -- maybe you think

it's a victimless crime.

00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:43,185

This is Mr. Venezuela,

the school janitor, m'kay.

00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,896

He's the person

who has to clean up

00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,483

when some trickster drops a dook

in the wrong toilet.

00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,945

Mr. Venezuela makes six bucks

an hour at best, m'kay.

00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,947

He's got three kids at home.

00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,658

He's got a car

that barely works.

00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,744

He's got to clean up puke

with sawdust, m'kay.

00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,579

Then he walks

into the boys' room

00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,499

and sees a big, meaty chud

starin' him in the face.

00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:09,169

So when you crapped

in that urinal, m'kay,

00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,171

you might as well have

just dropped your pants

00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,924

and laid a turd right

on Mr. Venezuela's head.

00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,842

[ Laughter ]

00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,344

Oh, you think it's funny, huh?

00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,013

Mr. Mackey, we got him!

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:20,847

Huh?

00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,725

We caught the person

that did it.

00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,899

Hi.

We were hoping you can help us.

00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,693

My friend is being blamed

for 9/11.

00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,529

Oh, geez.

Come on in, kids.

00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,656

It doesn't surprise me.

00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,283

More and more people are being

blamed for 9/11 every day.

00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:41,368

- They are?

- Yeah.

00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,287

It's a way of keeping people

from seeing the real evidence.

00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,622

I know it seems crazy,

00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,041

but 9/11 was pulled off

by our own government

00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,794

so they could gain support

for attacking the Middle East.

00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,295

What?

No, no, no.

00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,797

I know it's hard to believe.

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,007

Dude, why would the government

attack its own buildings?

00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,093

It's called

the false-flag policy.

00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,137

Make it look like the enemy

has attacked you.

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,098

Get all your citizens riled up

and waving American flags.

00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,226

Then you're free to invade

any country you want.

00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,603

That's retarded.

00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,230

Look into the evidence of 9/11,

00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,482

and you'll see there are a lot

of holes in their story.

00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,317

There's a lot of holes

in the theory of evolution, too.

00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,402

It doesn't mean it's wrong.

00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,903

You don't understand!

00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,739

The government controls

everything.

00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:20,323

The media, the corporations.

00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,492

They have the power

to do anything they want!

00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,203

Here. Look.

Read the labels on these!

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,246

Go on!

Read them!

00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540

"Code 2-3-4."

00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,834

We think they came

from a government office.

00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,753

- What is it?

- It's anthrax.

00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,171

Anthrax?

00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,506

Someday we'll use it

as evidence against them.

00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,717

Stan, we can't be seen

with this nut job!

00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,635

[ Men shouting, guns cocking ]

00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,304

[ Sirens wailing ]

00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,099

Aw! Aw!

Awwwww!

00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,061

Why, Clyde?

Why did you do it?

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,105

I don't know.

00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,317

You've got a whole school here,

Clyde, m'kay?

00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,361

You've got over 300 people

that need to use the boys' room.

00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:01,031

And you decide you're gonna

be a comedian, m'kay,

00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,866

and pinch one off in the urinal

00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,118

and leave it laying there for

everyone to have to look at.

00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,995

- [ Snorts ]

- Okay, okay.

00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,581

You think it's funny,

but nobody else does.

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,166

They've got to walk

into that bathroom

00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,834

and see your rancid dook

propped up

00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,545

against the back of the urinal

like a brown rag doll.

00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:16,963

[ Laughs ]

00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,965

Mr. Mackey,

Clyde's parents are here.

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,467

M'kay.

That's good.

00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:21,927

Let's see what your mom and dad

have to say

00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,595

about your little poopscapade.

00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,596

Come on in, please.

00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,181

I'm just trying to get your son

to explain

00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,600

why he would drop a dook

in the urinal.

00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:33,271

Mr. Mackey...there's something

you should know.

00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:36,024

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,363

Excuse me.

There's been a misunderstanding.

00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,323

Come on in, Mr. President.

00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,494

Uh, Mr. President, my name is --

00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,662

Shut up!

00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,372

You think we don't know

your name?

00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,540

We know everything.

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583

We control everything.

00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,627

We've all worked very hard

00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,547

to keep our involvement in 9/11

a secret.

00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,299

But you just had to

keep digging.

00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,676

Really?

00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,220

You won't get away with it.

People know.

00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,098

People?

You mean sheeple.

00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,601

We have the majority of them

kept in blissful ignorance.

00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,813

Just one more leak to fix.

00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,898

Wait.

What are you doing?

00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,693

You've been a thorn in our side

for too long, I'm afraid.

00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,903

No.

You can't do this!

00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,488

Please!

I'll stop.

00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,699

I'll take down the website.

00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,618

[ Muffled shouting ]

00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,786

Too late.

00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:30,871

[ Gunshot ]

00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,206

Jesus Christ!

00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,419

[ Laughs ]

He died like a pig.

00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,337

Some pigs never learn.

00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,007

No way.

00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,134

He was right.

You did cause 9/11!

00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,343

Yes.

00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,221

Quite simple to pull off,

really.

00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,682

All I had to do was have

explosives planted

00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,434

in the base of the towers.

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,478

Then on 9/11, we pretended like

four planes were being hijacked

00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:57,606

when really we just rerouted

them to Pennsylvania,

00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,066

then flew two military jets

into the World Trade Center

00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,193

filled with more explosives

and shot down all the witnesses

00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:03,820

in Flight 93 with an F-15

00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,072

after blowing up the Pentagon

with a cruise missile.

00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,325

It was only

the world's most intricate

00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:11,953

and flawlessly executed

plan ever, ever.

00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,415

Really?

00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,333

Why?

00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:19,085

The oldest reason

in the world -- money.

00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,170

The towers fell,

00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,089

and the American sheeple

all waved their flags.

00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,091

Finally we could invade Iraq

00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:28,637

and get the oil which made us

all even richer than before.

00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,181

Beautiful money.

[ Laughs ]

00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,308

Really?

00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,809

Is the whole government

in on this?

00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,229

We are all-knowing

and all-powerful.

00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:40,440

Goodbye, boys.

00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,819

[Alarm blaring ]

00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,529

Dang it!

I missed again!

00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:48,114

For Christ's sake, Cheney!

00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,408

Kyle, run!

00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,245

Kill them!

00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,790

[ Sighs ]

00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,667

Attention, students.

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,127

Apparently Clyde could not

have been the one

00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,629

who crapped in the urinal,

00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:06,758

because Clyde had a colostomy

at age 5, m'kay.

00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,469

Now, whoever did

this unspeakable act

00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,720

is still at large.

00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,974

The boys' bathroom is closed

until further notice

00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,768

because one of you thought

it would be a good idea

00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,521

to pull down your pants, m'kay,

00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,357

hover your butt cheeks

over the urinal,

00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,069

and squeeze out

a chocolate hot dog, m'kay.

00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,445

[ Laughter ]

00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,447

Oh, you think that's funny, huh?

00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,783

Let me assure you

there is nothing funny

00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,996

about going up to a nice, clean,

unsuspecting urinal, m'kay,

00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,582

dropping your pants

and then turning around,

00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,835

squatting over that urinal,

m'kay,

00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,588

maybe pulling your butt cheeks

apart with your hands, m'kay,

00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,799

and then laying out

a big fudge dragon

00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,300

for all the world to see.

00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:50,427

[ Laughter ]

00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,512

Oh, yeah.

That's real funny.

00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,723

I'm gonna catch

this son of a bitch

00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:58,435

if it's the last thing I do,

m'kay!

00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,485

All right. Now we have to

switch over to inner bus 65.

00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,695

We made it, dude.

00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,363

We should be home

in less than 18 hours.

00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,449

Then we'll tell everyone

what we saw!

00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,951

It just doesn't seem right.

00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,578

Yeah.

Our eyes are finally open, dude.

00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,455

It's like waking up

for the first time.

00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,832

Yeah, but doesn't it seem like

00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,917

we got out of the White House

pretty easily?

00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,878

I mean, it seems like

it would be pretty hard

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,421

to escape from the White House

with everyone chasing you,

00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214

and we just kind of...ran out.

00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,050

Well, dude,

maybe we're just super badass.

00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,468

Have you thought of that?

00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,928

Hey!

00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,889

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,600

Dude.

You're alive?

00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:41,936

[ Gasps ]

00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,146

Come back here!

00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:46,566

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,069

Hey!

00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:50,570

[ Grunts ]

00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,698

[ Music continues ]

00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,912

Aah!

00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,705

Aah!

00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,707

Aah!

Aah!

00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,751

No! Please!

Please!

00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,753

Dude, what the hell is going on?

00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:07,962

Don't kill me!

00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,422

I-I just do what they say!

00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,758

- What who says?

- I have a family!

00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,052

Please don't kill me!

[ Sobs ]

00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,970

Dude, we aren't going to

kill you!

00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,764

[ Gunshot ]

00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390

Oh, God!

00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,184

It isn't safe here, boys!

Follow me!

00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,477

Who the [bleep] are you?

00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,896

There's no time!

Come on!

00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,446

Do you mind telling us

what the hell is going on?

00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,740

- Who are you?

- I'm a detective.

00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,159

And I'm afraid you kids

have been double-crossed.

00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,453

You've figured

this thing all out?

00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,872

Not me.

My mystery-solving sons.

00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,040

Come on in, boys.

00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,792

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,919

My boys were researching

who went number two

00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,045

in the urinal at your school

00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,631

when they discovered something

odd, which gave them a clue.

00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,550

It gave us both a clue.

00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:57,137

That clue lead them to

a 9/11 conspiracy group party,

00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,930

where they got a lot more clues.

00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,766

I was getting a clue

like every two minutes.

00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,726

I got such a raging clue

00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,312

that I almost shot clue goo

all over Joe.

00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,149

Those clues pointed out that all

the 9/11 conspiracy theories

00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,651

could be disproven

scientifically.

00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,862

And that's when Frank got

his biggest clue.

00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,322

It was huge.

00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,409

That all the 9/11

conspiracy websites

00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,578

are run by the government.

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:26,666

The 9/11 conspiracy

is a government conspiracy.

00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:28,001

Oh, Jesus.

00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,127

Why would the government

00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,962

want people to think

they caused 9/11?

00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,297

For a government to have power,

00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,591

they must appear to have

complete control.

00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,050

What better way

to make people fear them

00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594

than to convince them

they are capable

00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,220

of the most elaborate plan

on earth?

00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,014

BUSH:

That's quite enough, Hardly!

00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,100

Don't believe what he says,

boys.

00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,393

We caused 9/11.

00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,562

It's all right here

in these secret documents.

00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,064

But you'll never get them.

00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,025

[ Yawns ]

00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,069

I knew it!

00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,031

You didn't plan 9/11 and you

didn't really shoot that guy!

00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,241

Boys, you don't understand.

00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,368

People need to think

we're all-powerful,

00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,661

that we control the world.

00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,413

If they know we weren't

in charge of 9/11,

00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,373

then we appear to control

nothing.

00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,918

Why don't you just tell people

the truth?

00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,711

We do that, too.

00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,588

And most people believe

the truth.

00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,424

But one-fourth of the population

is retarded.

00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,468

If they want to believe

that we control everything

00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,595

with intricate plans,

why not let them?

00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,931

Just one thing, Mr. President.

00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,850

How the devil did you know

we were all here?

00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,686

[ Gun cocks ]

00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,730

How come you couldn't

just go home, dude?

00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,440

That's all we had to do.

00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,525

Stan!

What the [bleep]

00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,319

It was all planned out.

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446

You knew this whole time?

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,739

Why?

00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,616

Because it was me.

00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,118

I'm the one who took a dump

in the urinal.

00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,119

What?

00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,247

The stalls were full, and I

didn't want to miss recess!

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,207

I didn't think it would

turn into such a big deal!

00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,667

So you blamed the government?

00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,503

And the government was more

than willing to take the blame,

00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,547

so long as it made them

look responsible for 9/11.

00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:59,217

Aw, man,

now everyone's gonna know.

00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,677

Why did the stupid Hardly Boys

00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,595

have to be so good

at solving mysteries?

00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,763

So wait.

Wait.

00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,139

Stan took the dump

in the urinal,

00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,225

and he contacted

the conspiracy website,

00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,310

but the conspiracy site

was run by the government?

00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,061

Yeah.

00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,355

So then who was responsible

for 9/11?

00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,274

What do you mean?

A bunch of pissed-off Muslims.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,900

Yeah.

What are you, retarded?

00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,319

[ Laughter ]

00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,114

Well, it looks like

this mystery is solved.

00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,450

It's time for the culprit

to finally pay.

00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:30,540

When you dook in the urinal,

it's bad, m'kay?

00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:35,044

How would you feel if somebody

came into your home, m'kay,

00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:36,546

pulled down their pants,

00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,757

and laid a big mud monkey

right on your mom's face?

00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,175

[ Laughs ]

00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,885

Oh, you think that's funny, huh?

00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,846

Yeah, that's real funny.

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