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Занимайтесь любовью, а не Warcraft’ом
Make Love, Not Warcraft
Сезон: 10Серия: 08
Описание
Ребята играют в «World of Warcraft», однако их и других персонажей всё время кто-то убивает. Они решают ценой огромных усилий исправить ситуацию.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,112 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:44,170 Oh, dude. I just took the biggest crap!
- 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:45,838 Hey, where are you guys?
- 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,215 We're over here by the cart!
- 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,593 Okay. I'm back.
- 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,720 Dude, we've been waiting forever!
- 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,889 Well, I'm sorry. I had to take a dump!
- 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,182 If you didn't eat so much,
- 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,184 you wouldn't have diarrhea all the time, fat-ass.
- 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,770 Hey, I don't need to take any lip from a frickin' girl!
- 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,438 Mrph rmhmhm rm rmph.
- 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,440 Totally!
- 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,068 Come on. We have to finish the quest in Stonehaven.
- 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:09,695 Stan? Stan?
- 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,363 Hang on, guys. My dad wants something.
- 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,033 - Stan! - What?!
- 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,160 You've been on your computer all weekend.
- 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,537 Shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends?
- 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,372 I <i>am</i> socializing, r-tard.
- 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,417 I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world
- 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:26,253 and getting XP with my party using TeamSpeak.
- 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,758 I'm not an r-tard.
- 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,886 All right. Sorry, guys.
- 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:34,929 So, where to now?
- 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,722 See where I am? It's this way.
- 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,015 Yeah. Come on. Let's go.
- 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,850 Right-click on me to follow.
- 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:43,687 I am the mightiest dwarf in all of Azeroth!
- 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,898 Wow! Look at all these people playing right now!
- 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,024 Yeah. It's bullcrap.
- 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,360 I'll bet half of these people are Koreans.
- 00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,862 Oh, crap! It's that guy again!
- 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:54,657 Who is this?
- 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,367 This is the guy that kept killing us last night
- 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,701 after you went to bed!
- 00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,537 Get out of here, asshole!
- 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,205 He's a way higher level than us. It isn't fair.
- 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,289 It's all right.
- 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,250 He can't kill us unless we agree to duel.
- 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,672 Oh, my God! He killed Kenny!
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,215 You bastard!
- 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,596 Don't you have better things to do
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,140 than going online killing people?!
- 00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,727 No! I don't want to have to start over at the graveyard! No!
- 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,691 That son of a bitch!
- 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,109 Who is that guy?
- 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:34,155 Whoever he is, he is one tough badass.
- 00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,455 "World of Warcraft" support line.
- 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,541 Yeah. We bought your game and play it online.
- 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,625 But every time we log in,
- 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,127 some other player comes in and kills us.
- 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,171 Oh. That shouldn't happen.
- 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,423 We designed the game so that players have to agree to a duel
- 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,757 before they can kill each other.
- 00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,259 Yeah. Well, this guy does it anyways!
- 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,594 He's a goddamn butthole!
- 00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,137 Really? That's odd.
- 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,764 More people calling in about their characters getting killed.
- 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:01,765 Oh, no.
- 00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:04,101 Well, we'll certainly keep a lookout for that player
- 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,728 and ban him from the network.
- 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,605 Better tell the guys upstairs.
- 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,734 Fellow board members, we have a problem.
- 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,611 Somebody in the World of Warcraft
- 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:16,238 is ignoring the world's rules
- 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,700 and is going around killing innocent players.
- 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,328 Why kill innocent players?
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,997 The game is about finishing quests.
- 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,249 We've got to delete him from the servers.
- 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,375 We can't.
- 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,668 Whoever this player is,
- 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,004 he's played "World of Warcraft" so much
- 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,174 that he has reached a level we thought unreachable.
- 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,927 He is actually able to kill our admins,
- 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,179 and he grows stronger every day.
- 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,889 Jesus.
- 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,432 I've got to get home!
- 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,101 My kids are playing "World of Warcraft" right now!
- 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:50,189 Jim, your kids' characters are already dead.
- 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,274 No.
- 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068 No.
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,279 They <i>just</i> started playing!
- 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,698 What kind of person would do this?
- 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,492 Only one kind.
- 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,286 Whoever this person is, he has played "World of Warcraft"
- 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,540 nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half.
- 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:12,711 Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who...
- 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,005 has absolutely no life.
- 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,302 How do you kill that which has no life?
- 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,269 Randy, you working on that sediment analysis?
- 00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,311 Not now, Nelson.
- 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,063 I just joined a big party of night elves,
- 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,857 and we're gonna explore the Tower of Azora together.
- 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,359 Is that a computer game?
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,987 No, r-tard. It's an MMORPG.
- 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,530 These are real people I'm playing with.
- 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:42,032 See? I'm a hunter, level 2.
- 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,659 I can chat with all these other people.
- 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,494 I can even wave to this guy. See?
- 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,704 Hello!
- 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,832 In the outside world, I'm a simple geologist.
- 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,375 But in here...
- 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,670 I am Falcorn, defender of the alliance.
- 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,547 I have braved the Fargodeep Mine,
- 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,299 defeated the bloodfish at Jerod's Landing --
- 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:06,598 Hm. Looks like that guy just killed you.
- 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,225 What?!
- 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,601 Why?
- 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:10,644 Why?!
- 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,772 My friends, as you all know,
- 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,941 some giant butthole keeps logging on to Warcraft
- 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,526 and killing all our characters.
- 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,486 The past four nights we've tried to play,
- 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,738 he shows up and kills us.
- 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,282 He killed my character right in the middle of a quest!
- 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,575 Mine too!
- 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,785 We've learned that the four of us can't fight him alone.
- 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,622 But if we all log in together, we might have a chance.
- 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:31,832 Hey! Yeah!
- 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,501 We can really stick it to that ass m-munch.
- 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,544 Are you guys dumb?
- 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,338 We can't beat him, even with all of us.
- 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,381 - It's a waste of time. - Dude, we have to try.
- 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,300 I've got better things to do.
- 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,509 Clyde! Clyde!
- 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,678 If you had a chance right now to go back in time
- 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,431 and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it?
- 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,224 I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him
- 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,268 because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?
- 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,145 I'm just gonna stop playing.
- 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,105 When Hitler rose to power, there were a lot of people
- 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,732 who just stopped playing.
- 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,151 You know who those people were? The French.
- 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,361 Are you French, Clyde?
- 00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:01,487 No.
- 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,781 <i>Voulez-vous coucher avec moi,</i> Clyde?
- 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,699 All right! All right! I'll do it!
- 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,909 So what's the p-plan?
- 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:07,910 All right,
- 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,496 Log in tonight from your computers at precisely 7:30.
- 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,497 We will meet here,
- 00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,248 on the plains of the Elwynn forest near Westfall.
- 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,292 My friends, to victory!
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,169 To victory!
- 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,713 I don't play "World of Warcraft."
- 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,883 Butters, you said you're on your computer all the time.
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,803 Yeah, but I'm playing "Hello Kitty Island Adventure."
- 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,640 Butters, go buy "World of Warcraft,"
- 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:32,017 install it on your computer, and join the online sensation
- 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,352 before we all murder you.
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,939 Oh. Oh, all right. All right, then.
- 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,447 All right, you guys! This is it!
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,782 When the attack begins,
- 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,826 all warriors click on "defensive stance."
- 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,870 Everyone else wait for Craig to cast his intellect buff.
- 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,372 - Okay! - Got it.
- 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,915 The battle is sure to be long,
- 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,000 so make sure you all have your special abilities
- 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,335 macroed to your keyboards.
- 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,213 All right, Eric. You can c-c-c-count on us.
- 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,589 Timmy!
- 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,758 This shall be a day for all to remember!
- 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,136 Let us bravely charge the fields of Azeroth!
- 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,054 - From which -- - Hey, fellas!
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,807 Boy, this is neato, huh?
- 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,437 Butters, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,314 I got "World of Warcraft" like you said.
- 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,233 You can't be the dwarf character, Butters.
- 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,317 <i>I'm</i> the dwarf.
- 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,361 Well, there's only like four races to choose from.
- 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,362 So pick another one!
- 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,822 I'm the dwarf, you stupid asshole!
- 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,616 Log out, create a new character, and log back in!
- 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,410 I like "Hello Kitty Island Adventure"
- 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:32,661 a lot more than this stuff.
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,037 Come on! Let's do this!
- 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,665 Yeah. My mom says I have to be in bed at 9:30.
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,001 Then let's move out!
- 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,309 Look! There he is!
- 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,352 Everyone hold!
- 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,481 He's targeting us!
- 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,982 Prepare to charge!
- 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,027 Scroll over him with your mouse cursors...
- 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,446 and...right-click!
- 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,242 What the...
- 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,328 Oh, Jesus! He summoned scorpions!
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,379 Aah! I'm burning!
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,673 Oh, Jesus! I'm burning!
- 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,259 Rm! Mrph rm!
- 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,012 Kenny's down. K-Kenny is down!
- 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,892 I'm gonna poop in my pants.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:37,893 Ike, look out!
- 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,771 Aah! Kyle!
- 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,108 All right, Clyde! Hit him with your crossbow!
- 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,903 Hit him now, Clyde!
- 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,321 Clyde?!
- 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,697 Clyde!
- 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,325 Clyde! Clyde, you asshole!
- 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,952 God damn it! We lost Clyde!
- 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,541 Hey, Stan, can I play with you guys?
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:01,375 Dad?
- 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,210 Yeah. I'm playing from the office.
- 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,254 Dad, get off our TeamSpeak line!
- 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:08,590 That's it. I'm dead.
- 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,844 That's it. Screw this game.
- 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,429 No! Leave me alone!
- 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,765 Don't -- Aah!
- 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,646 God damn it!
- 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,777 Oh, Jesus.
- 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,529 Oh, God, no.
- 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,114 What?
- 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:35,158 He's just finished killing every single player
- 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,827 in the Arathi Highlands.
- 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,787 How many people's characters were in there?
- 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,330 Over 5,000.
- 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,834 There are over 7 million people
- 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,544 who log on to "World of Warcraft."
- 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,588 Are you telling me all those people's characters
- 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,672 are going to die
- 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,008 and there's nothing we can do to save them?!
- 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,427 Yes, and it won't be long
- 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,262 before everyone gets really, really frustrated
- 00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,097 and stops playing altogether.
- 00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,767 Gentlemen, this could very well lead to the end
- 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:04,062 of the World...of Warcraft.
- 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,272 No!
- 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,108 N-o-o-o!
- 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,284 What the hell are you guys doing?
- 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,870 Don't tell me you all quit playing "World of Warcraft" too!
- 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:20,871 Dude, we're done.
- 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,456 We're sick of getting killed all the time.
- 00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,124 Guys, when things look bad,
- 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,752 you can't just give up on the World...of Warcraft.
- 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,128 We don't have a choice, dude.
- 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,380 That guy killed our characters 14 times!
- 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,007 I have a solution, you guys.
- 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,383 That guy can kill us so easily
- 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,135 because he's a super-high level, right?
- 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,137 But if <i>we</i> were super-high level, too...
- 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,764 We can't get to a higher level
- 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:41,099 because that dude doesn't let us finish quests!
- 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,851 That's why we need to just log in
- 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,187 and stay in the forest, killing boars.
- 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:46,438 Boars?
- 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,231 There's lots of computer- generated boars in Warcraft
- 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,566 that die with just one blow.
- 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,027 Dude, boars are only worth 2 experience points apiece.
- 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,403 Do you know how many we would have to kill
- 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:54,446 to get up 30 levels?
- 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,281 Yes.
- 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,618 65,340,285,
- 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,161 which should take us seven weeks, five days,
- 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,579 13 hours, and 20 minutes,
- 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,164 giving ourselves three hours a night to sleep.
- 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,666 What do you say, guys?
- 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,751 You can just -- You can just hang outside in the sun all day
- 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,169 tossing a ball around,
- 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,713 or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters.
- 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,977 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,729 ♪ Till you die ♪
- 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,149 ♪ Till the light dies in your eye ♪
- 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,402 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,404 ♪ Take it all ♪
- 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:39,241 ♪ Just keep fighting till you fall ♪
- 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,745 ♪ Day by day, kickin' all the way ♪
- 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,832 ♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:50,210 ♪ Let another round begin ♪
- 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,045 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,297 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,841 ♪ Live ♪
- 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,676 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,886 ♪ Win ♪
- 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,722 Sir, you'd better have a look at this.
- 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,473 Four of our subscribers --
- 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,435 They've gone up 50 levels in three weeks!
- 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,728 My God.
- 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,855 They must have no lives at all.
- 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,189 A hope?
- 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,357 A chance.
- 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,985 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,028 ♪ Till you die ♪
- 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:20,532 ♪ Till the light dies in your eye ♪
- 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,784 Dude, my mouse-clicking finger hurts.
- 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,244 Keep clicking, Kyle. You can do it!
- 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:29,291 ♪ Just keep fighting till you fall ♪
- 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,294 ♪ Day by day, kickin' all the way ♪
- 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,964 ♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
- 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,259 ♪ Let another round begin ♪
- 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,095 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,266 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,685 ♪ Live ♪
- 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,645 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,148 ♪ Win ♪
- 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,654 The admins tell us they are four players
- 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,823 from a small town in Colorado.
- 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,993 Are they strong enough to defeat the evil one?
- 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,077 We ran the numbers.
- 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,038 Even with their amazing rise in levels,
- 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,707 they have a 90% mortality probability.
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,417 They'd be walking into a slaughter.
- 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,420 There has to be some way we can help them.
- 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:21,343 What about... the Sword of A Thousand Truths?
- 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,762 Quiet, Thomas! We aren't to even speak of that sword!
- 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,222 But maybe these new players
- 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,265 are the ones the prophecy foretold of!
- 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,350 It is not an option!
- 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,101 What is this sword?
- 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,146 Long ago, when the World of Warcraft was created,
- 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,106 one of the programmers put a sword
- 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,942 called the Sword of A Thousand Truths
- 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,401 into the game inventory.
- 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,446 Apparently it could cause 120 damage per second
- 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,615 with an instant manna burn and an enchantment
- 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,700 that boosted stamina plus-80.
- 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:48,328 But the sword was considered to be too powerful
- 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,830 for anyone to possess.
- 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,790 So it was removed from the game
- 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,584 and stored on a one-gig flash drive.
- 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,795 But it was foretold that one day
- 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,257 players who could wield the sword might reveal themselves.
- 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,175 Who foretold this prophecy?
- 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,011 Saltzman. He's in accounting.
- 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:21,152 Behold. The Sword of A Thousand Truths.
- 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,114 We must get this sword
- 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,741 to the ones who have proven they have no life.
- 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,202 Let's just hope to Christ they don't start the battle
- 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,246 before we can reach them.
- 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,624 All right, you guys. The moment of truth is here.
- 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,585 It is time for our final battle.
- 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,961 Everyone, log in!
- 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:39,880 I'm in.
- 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,089 Me too.
- 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,549 Mrph rmh.
- 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,509 Everyone equip healing potions to the hotbar
- 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,177 if you haven't already.
- 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,013 Uh, Kyle go ahead and cast arcane brilliance
- 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,514 to raise our intelligence.
- 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,933 Hang on. I'm chaining my fire spells for max range.
- 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,059 Nice.
- 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,562 Stan, what enchantment does your Cloak of the Tiger have?
- 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,188 Plus-15 agility.
- 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,231 Give the cloak to Kenny.
- 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,233 He needs the agility boost for bow attacks.
- 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,151 'Kay.
- 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,528 Hold on. This fight could last more than 12 hours.
- 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,779 What if we run out of food?
- 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,781 Don't worry. I have that covered.
- 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,742 - Mom? - Yes, hon?
- 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,160 More Hot Pockets.
- 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,328 Right away, hon.
- 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,913 That's uber-cool.
- 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,497 All right. Everyone ready?
- 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:15,749 - Ready. - Ready.
- 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,125 Let's go get him!
- 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,469 Wait. I think I see him.
- 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,179 Yeah. Yeah. He's here in Goldshire.
- 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:32,474 Okay, everyone open your F-list and auto-locate to Stan.
- 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,559 What's the auto-locate macro?
- 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,103 Command-zero.
- 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,397 Okay. Right behind Stan.
- 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,733 Kenny, get ready to turn on trueshot aura.
- 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,194 At that moment, I will use intimidating shout.
- 00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,029 Okay. He sees us.
- 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,325 He's targeted us.
- 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,494 Okay. Hit him with pyroblast, Kyle.
- 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,495 Casting.
- 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,330 There's an eight-second cast time.
- 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,290 Aren't you spec'd to reduce cast time?
- 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,250 No. I'm an arcane fire mage.
- 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,418 Christ.
- 00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,003 He cast summon again.
- 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,672 Everyone target the scorpions.
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:26,987 Yes?
- 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,989 We are looking for a great knight
- 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,282 by the name of luvs2spooge.
- 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,369 That's my son's character's name in Warcraft.
- 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,245 Where is he?!
- 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,663 Who are you?
- 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,164 Sir, we don't have time!
- 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,624 We just heard from our admins
- 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,835 that your son's party is already in battle!
- 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,545 Unless they have this sword,
- 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,797 your son's character is going to die.
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,592 Oh, my God.
- 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,182 Kyle, fire spell!
- 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,727 Ha! Aah! Aah!
- 00:16:58,852 --> 00:16:59,644 Kyle?
- 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,396 Aah! Aah!
- 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,981 Kyle! Dude, what's wrong?
- 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,691 Carpal tunnel! Carpal tunnel!
- 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:05,984 It's -- Aah!
- 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,485 Oh, Jesus! He's got it bad!
- 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,030 Quick! We need Ben Gay!
- 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,244 Hurry, dude!
- 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,912 I'm going as fast as I can!
- 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,456 Kyle, you have to keep playing.
- 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,207 I can't. Just leave me behind.
- 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,501 We can't do this without you! Now come on!
- 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,212 Stan, Stan!
- 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881 Sharon, where's Stan?
- 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:28,798 I don't know.
- 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,885 He took his computer somewhere to play that stupid online game.
- 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,219 Stupid?
- 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,555 - Where?! - I don't know!
- 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,558 Sharon, his character is going to die if we don't get to him!
- 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,642 So what?
- 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,770 - So what?! - So what?!
- 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,229 We're too late.
- 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,981 Without the sword, the players will fail.
- 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,566 If we could get to a computer,
- 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,234 we could sign on to the World of Warcraft
- 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,528 and give the boys the sword online.
- 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,197 I don't have a "World of Warcraft" account.
- 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,200 - Do you? - No. I have a life.
- 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,868 Give me the sword.
- 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,496 - You? - I have a Warcraft character.
- 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,457 I'm a newb, but I can log on and get the sword to Stan online.
- 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,627 We can't trust the Sword of A Thousand Truths to a newb!
- 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,504 Sounds to me like we don't have a choice.
- 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,089 Give me the sword.
- 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,637 Ahh.
- 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,473 Come on. We've got to get to a computer that works!
- 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,102 - Where's your car?! - We took a cab here!
- 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,603 Damn it! Mine's in the shop!
- 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,146 Hey! Help! Stop!
- 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,940 Please! It's an emergency!
- 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,069 Come on!
- 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:36,699 Nelson! Nelson, I need to come over and use your computer!
- 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,868 No, I need to play "World of Warcraft"!
- 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,203 Nelson?!
- 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,462 All right. Major stone shield potions should be --
- 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,923 Oh, God. I'm gonna have diarrhea again.
- 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,511 You can't go to the bathroom. You're stacking sunder armor.
- 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,637 It's okay.
- 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,181 Mom, bathroom!
- 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,142 - What, hon? - Bathroom!
- 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,268 Bathroom!
- 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,526 Oh! That's a big boy, isn't he?
- 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:12,986 All right, Kenny.
- 00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,487 Drink your elixir of the mongoose.
- 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,990 I am now going to use mocking blow.
- 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,163 "World of Warcraft"! I need to play!
- 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,331 Our demo is set up right over by the --
- 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,587 Got to sign in.
- 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,881 Character name. All right! I'm in!
- 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,841 Dude, I'm almost dead.
- 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,426 Kyle, cast arcane missiles!
- 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,178 I'm out of manna. I told you!
- 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,680 I've got to heal!
- 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,974 Stan!
- 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,685 Dad? Not now!
- 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:49,981 Stan, I've been sent here... to bring you this.
- 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,692 This sword can completely drain his manna!
- 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,027 Dad, how did you get that?
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,862 No time! Just take it!
- 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,238 Here!
- 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,994 How -- How do you hand something from one player to another?
- 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,705 Bring up your inventory screen. Control-I!
- 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,539 Okay.
- 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,209 Stan, what the hell are you doing?!
- 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,878 - I got it! - Aah!
- 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:12,795 Dad!
- 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,380 Stan!
- 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:15,548 Dad, no!
- 00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,094 You killed my father.
- 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:21,971 Aah!
- 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,850 His shield and armor spells are down!
- 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,769 Attack!
- 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:30,939 Aah!
- 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,446 Looks like you're about to get pwned.
- 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,032 Yaah!
- 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,123 Dad? Dad?
- 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,042 Stan.
- 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:54,629 I've never been able to say this before, but...
- 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422 I love you, son.
- 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,424 I know you do, Dad.
- 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,058 They did it!
- 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,269 Our world is saved!
- 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,855 They did it! They killed him!
- 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,066 - They did it! - They killed him!
- 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,734 - We can come out! - Come out!
- 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:17,735 - Yes! - Mrph rm!
- 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,362 - All right! - Yeah!
- 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,405 - All right. - Yeah.
- 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,864 - Yeah. - Mrph rm.
- 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,951 We did it, you guys. We're totally heroes.
- 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,786 That was such uber-pwnage.
- 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,955 I can't believe it's all over.
- 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,957 What do we do now?
- 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,793 What do you mean?
- 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,503 Now we can finally play the game.
- 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,462 Oh, yeah.
- 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:37,755 Okay, Kenny.
- 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,091 Add eyes of the beast to your hotbar.
- 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:43,303 Stan, check your fury talents to boost your shouts.
- 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,804 Got it.
- 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,112 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:36,954 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:44,170 CARTMAN: Oh, dude. I just took the biggest crap!
- 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:45,838 Hey, where are you guys?
- 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,215 STAN: We're over here by the cart!
- 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,593 Okay. I'm back.
- 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,720 Dude, we've been waiting forever!
- 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,889 Well, I'm sorry. I had to take a dump!
- 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,182 KYLE: If you didn't eat so much,
- 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,184 you wouldn't have diarrhea all the time, fat-ass.
- 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,770 Hey, I don't need to take any lip from a frickin' girl!
- 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,438 KYLE: Mrph rmhmhm rm rmph.
- 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,440 - [ Laughs ] - [ Chuckles ] Totally!
- 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,068 Come on. We have to finish the quest in Stonehaven.
- 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:09,695 STAN'S DAD: Stan? Stan?
- 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,363 Hang on, guys. My dad wants something.
- 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,033 - Stan! - What?!
- 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,160 You've been on your computer all weekend.
- 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,537 Shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends?
- 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,372 I <i>am</i> socializing, r-tard.
- 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,417 I'm logged on to an MMORPG with people from all over the world
- 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:26,253 and getting XP with my party using TeamSpeak.
- 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,758 I'm not an r-tard.
- 00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,886 All right. Sorry, guys.
- 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:34,929 So, where to now?
- 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,722 KYLE: See where I am? It's this way.
- 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,015 CARTMAN: Yeah. Come on. Let's go.
- 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,850 Right-click on me to follow.
- 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:43,687 I am the mightiest dwarf in all of Azeroth!
- 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,898 Wow! Look at all these people playing right now!
- 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,024 Yeah. It's bullcrap.
- 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,360 I'll bet half of these people are Koreans.
- 00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,862 Oh, crap! It's that guy again!
- 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:54,657 Who is this?
- 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,367 STAN: This is the guy that kept killing us last night
- 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,701 after you went to bed!
- 00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,537 CARTMAN: Get out of here, asshole!
- 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,205 He's a way higher level than us. It isn't fair.
- 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,289 KYLE: It's all right.
- 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,250 He can't kill us unless we agree to duel.
- 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,336 [ Groans ]
- 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,672 Oh, my God! He killed Kenny!
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,215 You bastard!
- 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,258 [ Grunts ]
- 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:13,717 [ Groans ]
- 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,886 [ Grunts ]
- 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,596 Don't you have better things to do
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,140 than going online killing people?!
- 00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,727 No! I don't want to have to start over at the graveyard! No!
- 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:25,229 [ Groans ]
- 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,691 That son of a bitch!
- 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,109 Who is that guy?
- 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:34,155 Whoever he is, he is one tough badass.
- 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,158 [ Dramatic music playing ]
- 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,745 [ Telephone ringing ]
- 00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,455 "World of Warcraft" support line.
- 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,541 Yeah. We bought your game and play it online.
- 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,625 But every time we log in,
- 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,127 some other player comes in and kills us.
- 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,171 Oh. That shouldn't happen.
- 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,423 We designed the game so that players have to agree to a duel
- 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,757 before they can kill each other.
- 00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,259 Yeah. Well, this guy does it anyways!
- 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,594 He's a goddamn butthole!
- 00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,137 Really? That's odd.
- 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,764 More people calling in about their characters getting killed.
- 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:01,765 Oh, no.
- 00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:04,101 Well, we'll certainly keep a lookout for that player
- 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,728 and ban him from the network.
- 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,605 Better tell the guys upstairs.
- 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,734 Fellow board members, we have a problem.
- 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,611 Somebody in the World of Warcraft
- 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:16,238 is ignoring the world's rules
- 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,700 and is going around killing innocent players.
- 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,328 - [ Dramatic music plays ] - Why kill innocent players?
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,997 The game is about finishing quests.
- 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,249 We've got to delete him from the servers.
- 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,375 We can't.
- 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,668 Whoever this player is,
- 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,004 he's played "World of Warcraft" so much
- 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,174 that he has reached a level we thought unreachable.
- 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,927 He is actually able to kill our admins,
- 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,179 and he grows stronger every day.
- 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,889 Jesus.
- 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,432 I've got to get home!
- 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,101 My kids are playing "World of Warcraft" right now!
- 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:50,189 Jim, your kids' characters are already dead.
- 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,274 No.
- 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068 No.
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:57,279 They <i>just</i> started playing!
- 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,698 What kind of person would do this?
- 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,492 Only one kind.
- 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,286 Whoever this person is, he has played "World of Warcraft"
- 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,540 nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half.
- 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:12,711 Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who...
- 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,005 has absolutely no life.
- 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,049 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,302 How do you kill that which has no life?
- 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,269 Randy, you working on that sediment analysis?
- 00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,311 Not now, Nelson.
- 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,063 I just joined a big party of night elves,
- 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,857 and we're gonna explore the Tower of Azora together.
- 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,359 Is that a computer game?
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,987 No, r-tard. It's an MMORPG.
- 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,530 These are real people I'm playing with.
- 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:42,032 See? I'm a hunter, level 2.
- 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,659 I can chat with all these other people.
- 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,494 I can even wave to this guy. See?
- 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,704 Hello!
- 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,832 In the outside world, I'm a simple geologist.
- 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,375 But in here...
- 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,670 I am Falcorn, defender of the alliance.
- 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,547 I have braved the Fargodeep Mine,
- 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,299 defeated the bloodfish at Jerod's Landing --
- 00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,467 [ Groans, sighs ]
- 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:06,598 Hm. Looks like that guy just killed you.
- 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,225 What?!
- 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,601 Why?
- 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:10,644 Why?!
- 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,772 My friends, as you all know,
- 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,941 some giant butthole keeps logging on to Warcraft
- 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,526 and killing all our characters.
- 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,486 The past four nights we've tried to play,
- 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:20,738 he shows up and kills us.
- 00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,282 He killed my character right in the middle of a quest!
- 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,575 Mine too!
- 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,785 We've learned that the four of us can't fight him alone.
- 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,622 But if we all log in together, we might have a chance.
- 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:31,832 Hey! Yeah!
- 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,501 We can really stick it to that ass m-munch.
- 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,544 Are you guys dumb?
- 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:37,338 We can't beat him, even with all of us.
- 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,381 - It's a waste of time. - Dude, we have to try.
- 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,300 I've got better things to do.
- 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,509 Clyde! Clyde!
- 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,678 If you had a chance right now to go back in time
- 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,431 and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it?
- 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,224 I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him
- 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,268 because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?
- 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,145 I'm just gonna stop playing.
- 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,105 When Hitler rose to power, there were a lot of people
- 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,732 who just stopped playing.
- 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,151 You know who those people were? The French.
- 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,361 Are you French, Clyde?
- 00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:01,487 No.
- 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,781 <i>Voulez-vous coucher avec moi,</i> Clyde?
- 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,699 All right! All right! I'll do it!
- 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,909 So what's the p-plan?
- 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:07,910 All right,
- 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,496 Log in tonight from your computers at precisely 7:30.
- 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,497 We will meet here,
- 00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,248 on the plains of the Elwynn forest near Westfall.
- 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,292 My friends, to victory!
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,169 ALL: To victory!
- 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,713 I don't play "World of Warcraft."
- 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,883 Butters, you said you're on your computer all the time.
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,803 Yeah, but I'm playing "Hello Kitty Island Adventure."
- 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,640 Butters, go buy "World of Warcraft,"
- 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:32,017 install it on your computer, and join the online sensation
- 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,352 before we all murder you.
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,939 Oh. Oh, all right. All right, then.
- 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,274 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,447 CARTMAN: All right, you guys! This is it!
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,782 When the attack begins,
- 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,826 all warriors click on "defensive stance."
- 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,870 Everyone else wait for Craig to cast his intellect buff.
- 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,372 - TOKEN: Okay! - JASON: Got it.
- 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,915 The battle is sure to be long,
- 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,000 so make sure you all have your special abilities
- 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,335 macroed to your keyboards.
- 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:01,213 JIMMY: All right, Eric. You can c-c-c-count on us.
- 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,589 TIMMY: Timmy!
- 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,758 This shall be a day for all to remember!
- 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,136 Let us bravely charge the fields of Azeroth!
- 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,054 - From which -- - BUTTERS: Hey, fellas!
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,807 Boy, this is neato, huh?
- 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,059 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,437 Butters, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,314 I got "World of Warcraft" like you said.
- 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,233 You can't be the dwarf character, Butters.
- 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,317 <i>I'm</i> the dwarf.
- 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,361 Well, there's only like four races to choose from.
- 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,362 So pick another one!
- 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,822 I'm the dwarf, you stupid asshole!
- 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,616 Log out, create a new character, and log back in!
- 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,410 I like "Hello Kitty Island Adventure"
- 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:32,661 a lot more than this stuff.
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,037 Come on! Let's do this!
- 00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,665 CRAIG: Yeah. My mom says I have to be in bed at 9:30.
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,001 Then let's move out!
- 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,836 [All shouting ]
- 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,047 [ Music continues ]
- 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,886 [ Grunts ]
- 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,890 [All groaning ]
- 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,309 Look! There he is!
- 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,352 Everyone hold!
- 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,481 He's targeting us!
- 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,982 Prepare to charge!
- 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:05,027 Scroll over him with your mouse cursors...
- 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,446 and...right-click!
- 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,239 [All shouting ]
- 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,242 What the...
- 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,328 Oh, Jesus! He summoned scorpions!
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:17,206 [ Shouting in distance ]
- 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,000 [All shouting, groaning ]
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,379 Aah! I'm burning!
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,673 Oh, Jesus! I'm burning!
- 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,259 Rm! Mrph rm!
- 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,012 Kenny's down. K-Kenny is down!
- 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,889 TWEEK: [ Screaming ]
- 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,892 IKE: I'm gonna poop in my pants.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:37,893 Ike, look out!
- 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,771 - [ Grunts ] - Aah! Kyle!
- 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,108 All right, Clyde! Hit him with your crossbow!
- 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,903 Hit him now, Clyde!
- 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,321 Clyde?!
- 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,697 Clyde!
- 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,325 Clyde! Clyde, you asshole!
- 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,952 God damn it! We lost Clyde!
- 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,541 Hey, Stan, can I play with you guys?
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:01,375 Dad?
- 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,210 Yeah. I'm playing from the office.
- 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,254 Dad, get off our TeamSpeak line!
- 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,381 [ Groans ]
- 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:08,590 That's it. I'm dead.
- 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,676 [ Grunts ]
- 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,844 That's it. Screw this game.
- 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,429 No! Leave me alone!
- 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,765 Don't -- Aah!
- 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,646 God [bleep] damn it!
- 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:23,981 [ Down-tempo music playing ]
- 00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,108 [ Farts ]
- 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:28,777 Oh, Jesus.
- 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,529 - Oh, God, no. - [ Keys clicking ]
- 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,114 What?
- 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:35,158 He's just finished killing every single player
- 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,827 in the Arathi Highlands.
- 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,787 How many people's characters were in there?
- 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,330 Over 5,000.
- 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,834 There are over 7 million people
- 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,544 who log on to "World of Warcraft."
- 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,588 Are you telling me all those people's characters
- 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,672 are going to die
- 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,008 and there's nothing we can do to save them?!
- 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,427 Yes, and it won't be long
- 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,262 before everyone gets really, really frustrated
- 00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,097 and stops playing altogether.
- 00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,767 Gentlemen, this could very well lead to the end
- 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:04,062 of the World...of Warcraft.
- 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,272 No!
- 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,108 N-o-o-o!
- 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,284 What the hell are you guys doing?
- 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,870 Don't tell me you all quit playing "World of Warcraft" too!
- 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:20,871 Dude, we're done.
- 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,456 We're sick of getting killed all the time.
- 00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,124 Guys, when things look bad,
- 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,752 you can't just give up on the World...of Warcraft.
- 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,128 We don't have a choice, dude.
- 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,380 That guy killed our characters 14 times!
- 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,007 I have a solution, you guys.
- 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,383 That guy can kill us so easily
- 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,135 because he's a super-high level, right?
- 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,137 But if <i>we</i> were super-high level, too...
- 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,764 We can't get to a higher level
- 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:41,099 because that dude doesn't let us finish quests!
- 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,851 That's why we need to just log in
- 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,187 and stay in the forest, killing boars.
- 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:46,438 Boars?
- 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,231 There's lots of computer- generated boars in Warcraft
- 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,566 that die with just one blow.
- 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,027 Dude, boars are only worth 2 experience points apiece.
- 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,403 Do you know how many we would have to kill
- 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:54,446 to get up 30 levels?
- 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,281 Yes.
- 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,618 65,340,285,
- 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,161 which should take us seven weeks, five days,
- 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,579 13 hours, and 20 minutes,
- 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,164 giving ourselves three hours a night to sleep.
- 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,666 What do you say, guys?
- 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,751 You can just -- You can just hang outside in the sun all day
- 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,169 tossing a ball around,
- 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,713 or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters.
- 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,092 [ Up-tempo rock music plays ]
- 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,640 [ Boar shrieks ]
- 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,977 MAN: ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,729 ♪ Till you die ♪
- 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:31,149 ♪ Till the light dies in your eye ♪
- 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,402 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,404 ♪ Take it all ♪
- 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:39,241 ♪ Just keep fighting till you fall ♪
- 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,745 ♪ Day by day, kickin' all the way ♪
- 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,832 ♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:50,210 ♪ Let another round begin ♪
- 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,045 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,297 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,841 ♪ Live ♪
- 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,676 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,886 ♪ Win ♪
- 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,722 Sir, you'd better have a look at this.
- 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,473 Four of our subscribers --
- 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,435 They've gone up 50 levels in three weeks!
- 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,728 My God.
- 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,855 They must have no lives at all.
- 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,189 A hope?
- 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:12,357 A chance.
- 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,985 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,028 ♪ Till you die ♪
- 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:20,532 ♪ Till the light dies in your eye ♪
- 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,784 Dude, my mouse-clicking finger hurts.
- 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,244 Keep clicking, Kyle. You can do it!
- 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:29,291 ♪ Just keep fighting till you fall ♪
- 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,294 ♪ Day by day, kickin' all the way ♪
- 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,964 ♪ I'm not cavin' in ♪
- 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,259 ♪ Let another round begin ♪
- 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,095 ♪ Live to win ♪
- 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,266 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,685 ♪ Live ♪
- 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,645 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,148 ♪ Win ♪
- 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,654 The admins tell us they are four players
- 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,823 from a small town in Colorado.
- 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,993 Are they strong enough to defeat the evil one?
- 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,077 We ran the numbers.
- 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,038 Even with their amazing rise in levels,
- 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,707 they have a 90% mortality probability.
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,417 They'd be walking into a slaughter.
- 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,420 There has to be some way we can help them.
- 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:21,343 What about... the Sword of A Thousand Truths?
- 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,762 Quiet, Thomas! We aren't to even speak of that sword!
- 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:25,222 But maybe these new players
- 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,265 are the ones the prophecy foretold of!
- 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,350 It is not an option!
- 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,101 What is this sword?
- 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,146 Long ago, when the World of Warcraft was created,
- 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,106 one of the programmers put a sword
- 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:36,942 called the Sword of A Thousand Truths
- 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,401 into the game inventory.
- 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,446 Apparently it could cause 120 damage per second
- 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,615 with an instant manna burn and an enchantment
- 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,700 that boosted stamina plus-80.
- 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:48,328 But the sword was considered to be too powerful
- 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,830 for anyone to possess.
- 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,790 So it was removed from the game
- 00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:54,584 and stored on a one-gig flash drive.
- 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,795 But it was foretold that one day
- 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,257 players who could wield the sword might reveal themselves.
- 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,175 Who foretold this prophecy?
- 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,011 Saltzman. He's in accounting.
- 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:21,152 Behold. The Sword of A Thousand Truths.
- 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,612 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,114 PRESIDENT: We must get this sword
- 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,741 to the ones who have proven they have no life.
- 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,202 Let's just hope to Christ they don't start the battle
- 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,246 before we can reach them.
- 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,624 All right, you guys. The moment of truth is here.
- 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,585 It is time for our final battle.
- 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,961 Everyone, log in!
- 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:39,880 I'm in.
- 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,089 Me too.
- 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,549 Mrph rmh.
- 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,509 Everyone equip healing potions to the hotbar
- 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,177 if you haven't already.
- 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,013 Uh, Kyle go ahead and cast arcane brilliance
- 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,514 to raise our intelligence.
- 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,933 Hang on. I'm chaining my fire spells for max range.
- 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,059 Nice.
- 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,562 Stan, what enchantment does your Cloak of the Tiger have?
- 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,188 Plus-15 agility.
- 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,231 Give the cloak to Kenny.
- 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,233 He needs the agility boost for bow attacks.
- 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:01,151 'Kay.
- 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,528 Hold on. This fight could last more than 12 hours.
- 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,779 What if we run out of food?
- 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,781 Don't worry. I have that covered.
- 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,742 - Mom? - CARTMAN'S MOM: Yes, hon?
- 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,160 More Hot Pockets.
- 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,328 Right away, hon.
- 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,913 That's uber-cool.
- 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,497 All right. Everyone ready?
- 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:15,749 - Ready. - KYLE: Ready.
- 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,125 Let's go get him!
- 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,962 [ Dramatic music plays, keys clicking ]
- 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,469 Wait. I think I see him.
- 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,179 Yeah. Yeah. He's here in Goldshire.
- 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:32,474 Okay, everyone open your F-list and auto-locate to Stan.
- 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,559 What's the auto-locate macro?
- 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,103 Command-zero. [ Sniffs ]
- 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,397 Okay. Right behind Stan.
- 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,733 Kenny, get ready to turn on trueshot aura.
- 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,194 At that moment, I will use intimidating shout.
- 00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:46,029 Okay. He sees us.
- 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,865 [ Music continues ]
- 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,325 He's targeted us.
- 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,494 Okay. Hit him with pyroblast, Kyle.
- 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,495 Casting.
- 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,330 There's an eight-second cast time.
- 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,290 Aren't you spec'd to reduce cast time?
- 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,250 No. I'm an arcane fire mage.
- 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,418 Christ.
- 00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,003 He cast summon again.
- 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,672 Everyone target the scorpions.
- 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,049 [ Keys clicking ]
- 00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:12,764 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,308 [All grunting ]
- 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,485 [ Knock on door ]
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:26,987 Yes?
- 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,989 We are looking for a great knight
- 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,282 by the name of luvs2spooge.
- 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,369 That's my son's character's name in Warcraft.
- 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,245 Where is he?!
- 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,663 Who are you?
- 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,164 Sir, we don't have time!
- 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,624 We just heard from our admins
- 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,835 that your son's party is already in battle!
- 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,545 Unless they have this sword,
- 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,797 your son's character is going to die.
- 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,966 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,592 Oh, my God.
- 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,553 [ Glass shatters ]
- 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,054 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,889 [ Grunts ]
- 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,182 Kyle, fire spell!
- 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,727 Ha! Aah! Aah!
- 00:16:58,852 --> 00:16:59,644 Kyle?
- 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,396 Aah! Aah!
- 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,981 Kyle! Dude, what's wrong?
- 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,691 Carpal tunnel! Carpal tunnel!
- 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:05,984 It's -- Aah!
- 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,485 Oh, Jesus! He's got it bad!
- 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,030 Quick! We need Ben Gay!
- 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,244 Hurry, dude!
- 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,912 I'm going as fast as I can!
- 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,456 Kyle, you have to keep playing.
- 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,207 I can't. Just leave me behind.
- 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,501 We can't do this without you! Now come on!
- 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,212 Stan, Stan!
- 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881 Sharon, where's Stan?
- 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:28,798 I don't know.
- 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,885 He took his computer somewhere to play that stupid online game.
- 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,219 Stupid?
- 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,555 - Where?! - I don't know!
- 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,558 Sharon, his character is going to die if we don't get to him!
- 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,642 So what?
- 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,770 - So what?! - So what?!
- 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,229 We're too late.
- 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,981 Without the sword, the players will fail.
- 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,566 If we could get to a computer,
- 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,234 we could sign on to the World of Warcraft
- 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,528 and give the boys the sword online.
- 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,197 I don't have a "World of Warcraft" account.
- 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,200 - Do you? - No. I have a life.
- 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,868 Give me the sword.
- 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,496 - You? - I have a Warcraft character.
- 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,457 I'm a newb, but I can log on and get the sword to Stan online.
- 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,627 We can't trust the Sword of A Thousand Truths to a newb!
- 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,504 Sounds to me like we don't have a choice.
- 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,089 Give me the sword.
- 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,800 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,637 Ahh.
- 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,473 Come on. We've got to get to a computer that works!
- 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,766 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,102 - Where's your car?! - We took a cab here!
- 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,603 Damn it! Mine's in the shop!
- 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,146 Hey! Help! Stop!
- 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,940 Please! It's an emergency!
- 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,858 [ Tires screech ]
- 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:29,859 [ Grunts ]
- 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,069 Come on!
- 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,071 [ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
- 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:36,699 Nelson! Nelson, I need to come over and use your computer!
- 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,868 No, I need to play "World of Warcraft"!
- 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,203 Nelson?!
- 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,462 All right. Major stone shield potions should be --
- 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,923 Oh, God. I'm gonna have diarrhea again.
- 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,675 [ Groans ]
- 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,511 You can't go to the bathroom. You're stacking sunder armor.
- 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,637 It's okay.
- 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,181 Mom, bathroom!
- 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,142 - CARTMAN'S MOM: What, hon? - Bathroom!
- 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,268 Bathroom!
- 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,815 [ Farting ]
- 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,526 Oh! That's a big boy, isn't he?
- 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:12,986 All right, Kenny.
- 00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,487 Drink your elixir of the mongoose.
- 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,990 I am now going to use mocking blow.
- 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,658 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,163 "World of Warcraft"! I need to play!
- 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,331 Our demo is set up right over by the --
- 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,709 [ Keys clicking ]
- 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,587 Got to sign in.
- 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,881 Character name. All right! I'm in!
- 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,841 Dude, I'm almost dead.
- 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,426 Kyle, cast arcane missiles!
- 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,178 I'm out of manna. I told you!
- 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,680 I've got to heal!
- 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,974 Stan!
- 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,685 Dad? Not now!
- 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:49,981 Stan, I've been sent here... to bring you this.
- 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,692 This sword can completely drain his manna!
- 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,027 Dad, how did you get that?
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,862 No time! Just take it!
- 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,238 Here!
- 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,994 How -- How do you hand something from one player to another?
- 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,705 Bring up your inventory screen. Control-I!
- 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:06,539 Okay.
- 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,209 Stan, what the hell are you doing?!
- 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,878 - I got it! - Aah!
- 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:12,795 Dad!
- 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,380 [ Weakly ] Stan!
- 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:15,548 Dad, no!
- 00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,094 You killed my father.
- 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:21,971 Aah!
- 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:24,057 - [ Groans ] - [ Electricity crackling ]
- 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,850 His shield and armor spells are down!
- 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,769 Attack!
- 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,771 [ Grunts ]
- 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:30,939 Aah!
- 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,107 [ Groans ]
- 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,446 Looks like you're about to get pwned.
- 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,032 Yaah!
- 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,123 Dad? Dad?
- 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,042 [ Weakly ] Stan.
- 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:54,629 I've never been able to say this before, but...
- 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422 I love you, son.
- 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,424 I know you do, Dad.
- 00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,551 [ Groaning ]
- 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:05,598 [ Groaning ]
- 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,058 They did it!
- 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,269 Our world is saved!
- 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:12,855 They did it! They killed him!
- 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,066 - They did it! - They killed him!
- 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,734 - We can come out! - Come out!
- 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:17,735 - Yes! - Mrph rm!
- 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,362 - All right! - Yeah!
- 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,405 - All right. - Yeah.
- 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,864 - Yeah. - Mrph rm.
- 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,951 We did it, you guys. We're totally heroes.
- 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,786 That was such uber-pwnage.
- 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,955 I can't believe it's all over.
- 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,957 What do we do now?
- 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,793 What do you mean?
- 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,503 Now we can finally play the game.
- 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:36,462 Oh, yeah.
- 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:37,755 Okay, Kenny.
- 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,091 Add eyes of the beast to your hotbar.
- 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:43,303 Stan, check your fury talents to boost your shouts.
- 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,804 Got it.
- 00:00:04,522 --> 00:00:16,597 SouthPark, 1008 - Make Love, Not Warcraft (04.10.06) (Занимайтесь любовью, а не Варкрафтом).
- 00:00:16,697 --> 00:00:24,708 перевод: shoke, Kevin (JahLion): специально: для http://uzhe.vtomske.ru и http://sp.fanclub.cc
- 00:00:41,004 --> 00:00:45,780 -Ооо пацаны, я только что насрал огромнейшую кучу, пацаны вы где?
- 00:00:46,301 --> 00:00:48,561 -Мы здесь, возле телеги
- 00:00:49,631 --> 00:00:50,801 -Так, я вернулся.
- 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:54,401 -Чувак, мы заколебались тебя ждать! -Ну, извините, мне нужно было посрать!
- 00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:57,801 -Если бы ты нежрал столько, у тебя бы небыло поноса, толстожопый!
- 00:00:58,281 --> 00:01:00,281 -Я не собираюсь выслушивать всякое говно от ебанутой дамочки.
- 00:01:00,411 --> 00:01:04,301 -фыфы ффф фыфффы -Точно
- 00:01:04,351 --> 00:01:07,271 -Пошли, мы должны закончить квест "камнеголовый"
- 00:01:07,351 --> 00:01:09,271 -Стэн...Стэээн
- 00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:12,271 -Погодите пацаны, меня отец зовет -Стэээн!!
- 00:01:12,701 --> 00:01:13,471 -Че?!?!
- 00:01:14,071 --> 00:01:18,071 -Ты за компом все выходные сидишь, не хочешь пойти пообщаться с друзьями?
- 00:01:18,201 --> 00:01:26,071 -Я и так общаюсь, пенсионер. Я играю в MMORPG вместе с людьми по всему свету, набираю опыт в моей пати, используя TeamSpeak.
- 00:01:29,201 --> 00:01:31,071 -Я не пенсионер... :(
- 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:39,071 -Ладно. Извините пацаны -Куда теперь? -Видите где я? В эту сторону. -Пошли уже.
- 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,971 -Я самый могущественный гном во всем Анзурасе!
- 00:01:44,401 --> 00:01:46,801 -Ух ты, посмотри сколько народу сейчас играет!
- 00:01:46,801 --> 00:01:49,871 -Да это ебучие Корейцы
- 00:01:49,871 --> 00:01:51,971 -Вот дерьмо, опять этот парень!
- 00:01:53,371 --> 00:01:57,751 -Кто это? -Он убил нас прошлой ночью, когда ты ушел спать.
- 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,001 -Свали отсюда мудила!
- 00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:01,201 -Он намного выше уровнем чем мы, так нечестно!
- 00:02:01,201 --> 00:02:04,201 -Все нормально, он не может убить нас, пока мы не ответим.
- 00:02:07,201 --> 00:02:10,801 -О боже мой! Он убил Кенни! -... ты ублюдок!
- 00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:19,301 -У тебя нет других дел, кроме как в игре убивать людей?
- 00:02:20,301 --> 00:02:25,901 -Нет! Я не хочу снова начинать с кладбища! Неет! Блять!
- 00:02:27,301 --> 00:02:28,901 -АХ ТЫ СУКИН СЫН!!!
- 00:02:29,151 --> 00:02:33,901 -Кто он вообще такой? -Кто бы он не был, он крутой, здоровенный, засранец...
- 00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:43,201 -Линия помощи по игре Варкрафт
- 00:02:43,401 --> 00:02:48,201 -Ага, мы купили игру, мы поиграли, но теперь когда мы заходим, какой-то другой игрок постоянно находит и убивает нас.
- 00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:53,901 -Такого недолжно быть, мы создали игру так, что бы игроки должны были согласится на дуель, перед тем как убьют друг друга...
- 00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:55,301 -Да, но этот парень все равно убивает нас в любом случае.
- 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,901 -Этот парень гандон.
- 00:02:56,901 --> 00:02:58,401 -Серьезно? Это плохо...
- 00:02:58,401 --> 00:03:01,801 -Еще звонят люди по поводу того что их персонажей убили. -О нет..
- 00:03:02,201 --> 00:03:05,801 -Хорошо, мы конечно же найдем его, и отключим от сети.
- 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:07,801 -Нужно сообщить парням "наверху"
- 00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:11,801 -Друзья мои, у нас проблема...
- 00:03:12,301 --> 00:03:15,801 -Кто-то в мире Варкрафта игнорирует правила этого мира...
- 00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:20,401 -Он ходит по миру и убивает ни в чем неповинных игроков...
- 00:03:21,151 --> 00:03:25,201 -Зачем убивать невинных игроков? Смысл игры в прохождении квестов.
- 00:03:25,401 --> 00:03:27,201 -Мы должны отключить его от серверов.
- 00:03:27,401 --> 00:03:35,601 -Мы не можем. Кто бы он не был, он играет в Варкрафт настолько много, что он достиг уровня, который, мы думали, не достигаем!
- 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:41,001 -Он настолько силен, что может убить наших админов, и он становится сильнее с каждым днем
- 00:03:41,151 --> 00:03:42,301 -Боже..
- 00:03:42,301 --> 00:03:46,401 -Мне нужно домой! Мои дети играют в ВоВ прямо сейчас!
- 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:50,401 -Джим...Персонажи твоих детей, уже мертвы...
- 00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:52,501 -нет...
- 00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:54,601 -...нет...
- 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,401 -ОНИ ТОЛЬКО НАЧАЛИ ИГРАТЬ!
- 00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:00,201 -Что за человек, мог совершить такое?
- 00:04:01,301 --> 00:04:08,801 -Человек, кто бы он не был, который играл в ВоВ, каждый час, каждый день, на протяжении полутора лет.
- 00:04:09,051 --> 00:04:15,801 -Господа, мы имеем дело с тем, у кого, абсолютно нет нормальной жизни(овощем).
- 00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:23,201 -Но, как победить ОВОЩ?
- 00:04:26,501 --> 00:04:28,601 -Ренди? Ты работаешь над анализами со спутника?
- 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:33,601 -Не сейчас, Нельсон. Я только что присоединился к большой пати ночных эльфов, чтобы вместе исследовать башну "Тозороу".
- 00:04:35,201 --> 00:04:46,901 -Это компьютерная игра? -Нет, пенсионер, это MMORPG. Я играю с реальными людьми. Видишь? Я охотник 2ого уровня, я могу общаться с другими людьми, я даже могу помахать тому парню, видишь?
- 00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:50,901 -А в реальной жизни - я обычный геолог...
- 00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:57,901 -Но здесь, я Валкорн, защитник Альянса, я храбр до глубины бла бла бла бла...
- 00:05:04,201 --> 00:05:07,901 -хм, похоже тот парень только что убил тебя
- 00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:11,401 -что?...почему?....ЗАЧТО?
- 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:17,267 -Друзья мои, как вам всем известно, какой-то гигантский гандон, продолжает находится в игре и убивает наших персонажей.
- 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:20,667 -В течении 4ех выходных, он появляется и мочит нас!
- 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:23,367 -Он убил моего персонажа прямо в середине прохождения квеста!
- 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:24,267 -Моего тоже!
- 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:30,467 -Мы поняли что вчетвером нам не справится с ним. Но! Если мы все вместе попробуем, у нас может получится...
- 00:05:30,767 --> 00:05:34,067 -Ага! -Мы можем наподдавать ему!
- 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:38,267 -Пацаны вы че тупые? Мы не сможем его победить, даже все вместе, это пустая трата времени.
- 00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:39,167 -Чувак, мы должны попытаться...
- 00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:41,167 -У меня есть дела поважнее.
- 00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:48,067 -Клайд! Клайд! Если бы у тебя был шанс, прямо сейчас, вернутся в прошлое, и остановить Гитлера, ты бы этого не сделал?
- 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:51,367 -Я имею ввиду, я бы не остоновил его, потому что считаю его ахуенным...Но ты бы остановил, так??
- 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:53,067 -Я просто перестану играть..
- 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:58,067 -Когда власть Гитлера возросла, знаешь кто просто перестал играть? Знаешь, кто были эти люди?
- 00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:00,367 -Французы...Ты Француз Клайд?
- 00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:01,467 -нет...
- 00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:04,267 Ву ле ве куше авек муа, Клайд?
- 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:05,567 -Ладно, Ладно, я с вами...
- 00:06:05,617 --> 00:06:07,067 -Ну так какой п-п-план?
- 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:13,667 -Так, заходим сегодня вечером в игру в 19:30. Мы встретимся здесь, перед Elwynn Forest, около WestFall.
- 00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:15,367 -Друзья мои...Вперед к победе!
- 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,467 Вперед к победе!!!
- 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,667 -Я не играю в ВоВ.
- 00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:23,167 -Баттерс, ты сказал, что сидишь возле компа всё время?
- 00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:26,167 -Ага, но я играю в "Hello Kitty Island Adventure".
- 00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:34,167 -Баттерс, иди купи ВоВ, установи на свой компьютер, зайди в игру...пока мы все тебя не убили.
- 00:06:44,159 --> 00:06:45,559 -И так пацаны, вот оно!
- 00:06:45,659 --> 00:06:48,859 -Когда битва начнется, все войны включите защитный режим.
- 00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:51,759 -Все остальные ждем, пока Крег накастит "Intellect buff'
- 00:06:53,859 --> 00:06:58,659 -Битва обещает быть длинной, так что убедитесь что вы сделали макросы на ваши специальные умения и забиндили их на клавиатуре.
- 00:06:58,759 --> 00:07:02,559 -Хорошо Эрик, ты можешь п-п-положится на нас! -ТИММИ!!!
- 00:07:02,659 --> 00:07:07,559 -Этот будет день который все будут помнить! Пусть наш смелый вызов...
- 00:07:07,559 --> 00:07:08,559 -Привет пацаны!
- 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:11,559 -Это просто супер, офигеть!
- 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,159 -Баттерс, ты, че мать твою, делаешь?
- 00:07:16,659 --> 00:07:18,859 -Я играю в ВоВ, как ты и сказал..
- 00:07:19,659 --> 00:07:22,659 -Ты не можешь играть гномом, я гном..
- 00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,659 -Ну, тут всего 4 расы на выбор, так ч...
- 00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:29,659 -Так что выбери другую расу, я здесь гном, долбоеб! Выйди, возьми другого персонажа, зайди снова!
- 00:07:29,859 --> 00:07:32,759 -Да пошло оно в жопу, пойду играть в Hello Kitty Island Adventure...
- 00:07:32,859 --> 00:07:36,659 -Пошли пацаны, сделаем это! -Ага, моя мама сказала быть в постели в 21:30!
- 00:07:37,659 --> 00:07:39,459 -Выдвигаемся!
- 00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:56,759 -Смотрите! Вот он! -Всем стоять!
- 00:07:59,759 --> 00:08:01,559 -Он нацелился на нас!
- 00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:07,559 -Приготовились!....иии...жмите правую кнопку!
- 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,459 -Что за?...О Боже, он вызвал скорпионов!
- 00:08:24,159 --> 00:08:26,459 -Я горю! Божее! Я гоооорю!!
- 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,459 -Кенни убит. К-к-кени убит.
- 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,559 -Я накакал в штаааны.
- 00:08:37,659 --> 00:08:39,859 -Айк! Берегись!
- 00:08:42,959 --> 00:08:45,859 -Клайд, стреляй в него из своего арбалета!
- 00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:48,159 -Стреляй, Клайд!
- 00:08:49,459 --> 00:08:51,459 -Клайд? Клайд?!?
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,859 -Ебанаврот, мы потеряли Клайда!
- 00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:00,859 -Эй, Стен! Можно я поиграю с вами, парни?
- 00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:01,959 -Отец?!
- 00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:03,559 -Да, я играю из офиса.
- 00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:06,359 -Отец выйди с нашей TeamSpeak линии.
- 00:09:08,159 --> 00:09:09,159 -Всё, меня убили.
- 00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:13,859 -Всё, нахер эту игру!
- 00:09:14,059 --> 00:09:16,359 -Нет! Оставь меня в покое!
- 00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:23,359 -ЕБАТЬ ТЕБЯ ВО ВСЕ ЩЕЛИ!!!
- 00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:30,590 -О Боже...О Боже, нет..
- 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:31,590 -Что?
- 00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:36,590 -Он только что убил последнего игрока на Скалистом Острове.
- 00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:38,190 -Сколько там было персонажей игроков?
- 00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:39,190 -Больше 5,000... -Сколько там было персонажей игроков?
- 00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:40,790 -Больше 5,000...
- 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:50,590 -У нас сейчас, более 7 миллионов пользователей в игре, и вы говорите, что все их персонажи погибнут, и мы ничего не сможем сделать, что бы спасти их?!
- 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:56,390 -Да...Пройдет совсем немного времени, пока всех недостанет окончательно, и они перестанут играть.
- 00:09:56,740 --> 00:10:03,390 -Господа, очень может быть, что это приведет к концу мира. Концу, Мира Варкрафт.
- 00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:06,390 -Нет! НЕЕЕЕЕЕТ!
- 00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:19,663 -Вы че делаете пацаны?! Только не говорите мне что вы тоже перестали играть в ВоВ?
- 00:10:19,863 --> 00:10:22,663 -Чувак, мы всё. Нам надоело, что нас постоянно убивают.
- 00:10:22,863 --> 00:10:26,463 -Пацаны! Когда все выглядит плохо, нельзя просто так сдаваться.
- 00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:30,363 -У нас нет выбора, этот парень убил наших персонажей 14раз!
- 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:37,563 -У меня есть решение, пацаны. Этот парень убивает нас так легко, потому что он супер высокого уровня, так? Но если бы мы тоже стали такими же...
- 00:10:37,963 --> 00:10:40,863 -Мы не можем такими стать, потому что этот парень не дает нам закончить квест.
- 00:10:41,463 --> 00:10:45,363 -Поэтому нам нужно, зайти в игру, и оставаясь в лесу, убивать свиней.
- 00:10:45,613 --> 00:10:46,613 -Свиней?
- 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:49,663 -Там дохрена этих свиней, они постоянно появляются вновь, и умирают всего с одного удара.
- 00:10:49,763 --> 00:10:54,663 -Чувак за них дают всего 2 очка опыта, сколько нам нужно убить что бы достичь 30уровня?
- 00:10:55,363 --> 00:11:00,163 -Да. 65,340,295 штук.
- 00:11:00,163 --> 00:11:04,663 -Что займет у нас: 7 недель, 5 дней 30часов и 20 минут, с учетом 3ех часов на сон...
- 00:11:04,863 --> 00:11:06,363 -Что скажите пацаны?
- 00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:10,463 -Вы конечно можете, весь день тусоваться тут, играя в мячь.
- 00:11:10,463 --> 00:11:11,963 -Или сесть за компьютер и что-нибудь изменить...
- 00:11:41,253 --> 00:11:42,463 компьютерный класс
- 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:05,963 -Сэр, вам лучше взглянуть на это. Четыре парня, они подняли 15 уровней за 3 недели!
- 00:12:06,963 --> 00:12:10,263 -Боже мой... они должно быть полные овощи...
- 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,263 -Думаете? -Без сомнений...
- 00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:02,100 -Администраторы ВоВ, сказали нам что эти 4 игрока, из маленького городка, в штате Колорадо.
- 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,700 -Они достаточно сильны, что бы победить "плохиша"?
- 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:12,500 -Мы сделали расчеты, даже с их удивительным набором уровней, 90% что их разорвут на кусочки.
- 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,400 -Должен быть какой-нибудь способ помочь им.
- 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,700 -А что на счет...меча "тысячи правд"?
- 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,900 -Тихо Томас! И речи быть не может об этом мече!
- 00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:27,200 -Но может, эти новички, те о ком написано в предсказании?
- 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,500 -Это не оправдание!
- 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,400 -Что это за меч?
- 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:38,400 -Давным-давно, когда создавался ВоВ, один из программистов сделал меч, меч "тысячи правд" и поместил его в игру.
- 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:46,400 -Он наносил 120 урона в секунду, каждому врагу, и добавлял +80 к выносливости.
- 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:55,800 -Но, меч оказался настолько мощным, что мы убрали его из игры, и мы поместили его на флешку одного из батанов.
- 00:13:56,100 --> 00:14:00,800 -Нам было сказано, что однажды, мы можем достать этот меч, и дать игроку который "проявит" себя.
- 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,600 -Кто сделал сие предсказание?
- 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,300 -Солтсмен, он бухгалтер.
- 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,300 -Узрейте. Это меч "тысячи правд".
- 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,300 -Мы должны доставить этот меч, тому кто доказал что он настоящий овощ.
- 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:31,300 -Будем надеяться на Господа, что бы они не начали битву пока мы не найдем их.
- 00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:36,761 -Ладно пацаны, момент истины настал. Настало время для последней битвы.
- 00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:38,661 -Все вместе, заходим!
- 00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:42,661 -Я в игре. -Я тоже -Мммм
- 00:14:42,761 --> 00:14:45,661 -Все поставили бутылки лечения на хотбар?
- 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:49,561 -Кайл, давай, начинай кастить увеличение интелекта.
- 00:14:49,661 --> 00:14:52,561 -Погодите, я изменю расстояние, для моих "огненных" заклинаний.
- 00:14:52,661 --> 00:14:55,661 -хорошо...Стэн, какие дополнительные возможности у твоего плаща?
- 00:14:55,761 --> 00:15:00,661 -+15 к ловкости -Дай плащ Кенни, ему нужно больше ловкости для лука.
- 00:15:00,711 --> 00:15:01,661 -Ладно.
- 00:15:01,761 --> 00:15:05,561 -Погодите, это может занять 12 часов, что если у нас кончится еда?
- 00:15:05,661 --> 00:15:06,661 -Не беспокойся, у меня все схвачено.
- 00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:11,661 -Маам. -Да дорогой? -Еще горячих пакетиков! -Уже бегу дорогой.
- 00:15:11,861 --> 00:15:12,961 -Это уберкруто.
- 00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,261 -Короче, все готовы? -Готовы.
- 00:15:16,361 --> 00:15:17,361 -Пошли завалим его.
- 00:15:26,461 --> 00:15:29,961 -Подождите, мне кажется я его вижу. Да это он. ГолдКнайт.
- 00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:32,961 -Ок, все откройте свой "F" лист, и найдите Стэна.
- 00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:35,261 -Какой автопоисковый макрос?
- 00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,261 -Нулевой.
- 00:15:38,561 --> 00:15:40,261 -Так, я прямо за Стэном.
- 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:45,161 -Кенни приготовься включить "shooshot ore", сейчас я включу "ultimate shout"
- 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,361 -Он видит нас.
- 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,361 -Он взял нас на прицел
- 00:15:51,461 --> 00:15:52,861 -Долбани-ка по нему "Powerblast"ом, Кайл.
- 00:15:52,861 --> 00:15:55,561 -Кастую…8 секунд...
- 00:15:55,761 --> 00:15:57,761 -Ты не должен был уменьшить время каста?
- 00:15:57,961 --> 00:16:00,761 -Нет, я аркейн-огненный маг -Бляха...
- 00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:04,061 -Он опять вызвал монстров. -Мочим скорпионов.
- 00:16:15,756 --> 00:16:18,756 после 17и часов битвы
- 00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:27,267 -Да?
- 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:31,267 -Мы ищем великого война, его имя LovesToSpooch
- 00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:34,367 -Так зовут персонажа моего сына в ВоВ.
- 00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:35,267 -Где он?!
- 00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:41,767 -Сэр, у нас мало времени, администраторы игры, нам только что передали, пати вашего сына уже в битве!
- 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:45,767 -Если он не получит этот мечь, персонаж вашего сына погибнет!
- 00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,767 -Божее моой...
- 00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:58,767 -Кайл, заклинание огня!
- 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:00,167 -Кайл?
- 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:03,267 -Кайл? Парень, что случилось?
- 00:17:03,567 --> 00:17:04,667 -Рука затекла, рука затекла!
- 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,167 -Господи Иисусе, это плохо.
- 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:10,167 -Погодите, нам нужен бенгель.
- 00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:16,767 -Поторопись чувак
- 00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:20,267 -Быстрее некуда. -Кайл ты должен продолжить играть.
- 00:17:20,267 --> 00:17:24,167 -Я не могу, оставьте меня. -Чувак мы не сможем без тебя, давай!
- 00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:26,167 -СТЭН! СТЭЭН!!
- 00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:28,267 -Шерон, где Стэн?!?
- 00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:32,367 -Я не знаю! Он взял свой компьютер и ушел куда-то играть в свою тупую онлайновую игру.
- 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:33,567 -Тупую?
- 00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:34,867 -Куда?!?
- 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:36,267 -Я НЕ знаю.
- 00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:37,867 -Шерон, его персонаж погибнет, если мы не найдем его!
- 00:17:37,867 --> 00:17:39,267 -Ну и что?
- 00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:41,867 -НУ И ЧТО?!
- 00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:44,967 -Мы опоздали, без меча они проиграют.
- 00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:50,967 -Если мы найдем компьютер, мы сможем зайти в ВоВ и перед меч парню в онлайне.
- 00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,967 -У меня нет аккаунта в ВоВ, а у тебя?
- 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:54,867 -Нет, я же не ОВОЩ...
- 00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:56,867 -Дайте мне меч…
- 00:17:57,867 --> 00:17:58,767 -Тебе?
- 00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:02,767 -У меня есть персонаж в ВоВе, правда я новичок, но я могу зайти и передать меч Стэну в игре.
- 00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:05,767 -Мы не можем доверить меч "тысячи правд" новичку.
- 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:08,967 -А по-моему у нас нет выбора, дайте мне меч...
- 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:17,767 -Давайте парни, нам нужен рабочий компьютер.
- 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:23,167 -Где ваша машина?! -Мы сюда приехали на такси! -Черт возьми! Моя в магазине.
- 00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:27,067 -Эй! Помогите! Остановитесь! Пожалуйста! Это срочно!
- 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:37,367 -Нельсон, нужно, что бы ты приехал, мне нужен компьютер!
- 00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:40,367 -Нет, мне нужно поиграть в ВоВ! Нельсон?!
- 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:53,760 -Так, большие каменные бутыли должны...о боже, у меня опять понос начался.
- 00:18:54,373 --> 00:18:56,173 -Ты не можешь идти в туалет, ты кусок песочной брони!
- 00:18:57,073 --> 00:19:02,173 -Все в порядке…Мам, туалет! -Что милый? -Туалет! ТУАЛЕТ!
- 00:19:09,073 --> 00:19:12,273 -Оо, это мой большой мальчик, неправда ли?
- 00:19:12,973 --> 00:19:16,273 -Ладно, Кенни пей свой эликсир мангуста, я собираюсь использовать "точечный взрыв".
- 00:19:21,773 --> 00:19:23,373 -гдеворкрафтмненадопоиграть?
- 00:19:23,473 --> 00:19:26,373 -Наш демо стенд, находится прямо вон там.
- 00:19:29,273 --> 00:19:32,673 -Так, логин...имя персонажа...отлично я в игре.
- 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:34,773 -Пацаны, я почти мертв.
- 00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:36,473 -Кайл, кастуй аркейн-ракеты.
- 00:19:36,573 --> 00:19:38,273 -У меня кончилась манна, я же тебе говорил!
- 00:19:39,273 --> 00:19:40,473 -Мне нужно подлечится!
- 00:19:41,273 --> 00:19:43,473 -Стээээээн!
- 00:19:44,773 --> 00:19:46,273 -Отец? Не сейчас!
- 00:19:46,273 --> 00:19:52,673 -Стэн. Меня послали, что бы я передал тебе это! Этот меч может высосать абсолютно всю его ману!
- 00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:53,873 -Отец, где ты его взял?!
- 00:19:54,273 --> 00:19:57,173 -Нет времени! Просто возьми его, держи!
- 00:20:00,773 --> 00:20:03,173 -Как передать что-нибудь, от одного персонажа другому?
- 00:20:03,173 --> 00:20:06,673 -Открой свой инвентарь - ctrl+i -Ок...
- 00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,773 -Стэн, какого черта, ты там делаешь?
- 00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:13,273 -Есть!....ОТЕЦ!!!
- 00:20:13,373 --> 00:20:14,173 -Стэээн!
- 00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:16,673 -ОТЕЦ! НЕТ!
- 00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:20,473 -Ты убил моего отца...
- 00:20:25,273 --> 00:20:28,473 -Его защитный магический армор спал! -АТАКУЕМ!
- 00:20:36,573 --> 00:20:42,473 -Похоже тебе наподдавали...
- 00:20:47,773 --> 00:20:49,773 -Отец? Отец!
- 00:20:49,973 --> 00:20:56,773 -Стээн... Я не мог сказать этого раньше, но...я люблю тебя сынок....
- 00:20:57,373 --> 00:20:58,373 -Я знаю отец.
- 00:21:06,273 --> 00:21:08,473 -Они сделали это!!! -Мир спасен!!!
- 00:21:11,273 --> 00:21:13,473 -Они сделали это! Они убили его! -Мы спасены!
- 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:27,773 -Мы сделали это, мы настоящие герои!
- 00:21:27,773 --> 00:21:30,773 -Я не могу поверить, что все закончилось. Чем теперь займемся?
- 00:21:33,073 --> 00:21:36,473 -В смысле? Теперь мы наконец сможем начать играть. -Точно.
- 00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:43,773 -Ок, Кенни, добавь "глаз зверя" на свой хотбар. Стэн проверь свои талатны ярости чтобы улучшить выстрелы... -Ладно. (c)southpark.org.ru
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