Челмедведосвин

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S10E06 - Челведьсвин

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М'так, ученики, сегодня у нас

выступает очень важный гость.

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Кто может назвать мне имя прошлого

вице-президента нашей страны?

М'так, ученики, сегодня у нас

выступает очень важный гость.

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Кто может назвать мне имя прошлого

вице-президента нашей страны?

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Дик Чейни?

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Нет, прошлого.

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Билл Клинтон?

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Нет, заместителя Клинтона.

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Сегодня он здесь, чтобы поговорить с вами

о некоторых очень серьезных проблемах.

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Пожалуйста, поприветствуйте

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Ал Гора!

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Кого?

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Спасибо, мистер Мэки,

учащиеся Начальной Школы Саут-Парка...

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Я здесь, чтобы поведать вам

о самой большой угрозе нашей планете.

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Видите ли, есть нечто, угрожающее самому

нашему существованию

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и способное стать концом

человеческой расы, как мы ее знаем.

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Я говорю, конечно же, о...

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Челведьсвине.

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Челведьсвине?

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Это существо, которое скитает

по Земле в одиночестве.

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Оно

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получеловек

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полумедведь

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и полусвинья.

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Есть люди, которые говорят,

что Челведьсвин ненастоящий.

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Итак, я здесь, чтобы вы знали,

что Челведьсвин очень настоящий

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и он более чем существует.

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Я серильезен.

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Челведьсвина не волнует,

кто ты такой и что ты сделал.

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Челведьсвин просто хочет схватить тебя!

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Я суперсерильезен.

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Но не бойтесь, потому что я здесь,

чтобы спасти вас!

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И однажды, когда мир избавится

от Челведьсвина,

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все скажут: "Спасибо, Ал Гор.

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Ты - суперкрутой!".

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КОНЕЦ.

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Хооорошо, спасибо вам, мистер Гор.

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Спасибо вам, класс.

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Excelsior!

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Зацени вот это прикольное движение.

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Кайл, нельзя так блокировать!

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Да просто играй, жиртрест.

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Пасуй мне, Картмэн!

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Подожди, я сейчас сделаю

что-нибудь суперкрутое.

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Блин, прекрати уже, Кайл!

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Ладно, зацени теперь. Я сделаю

точно как Коби Брайант.

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Просто кинь мяч или пасни,

кретин! Уже темнеет!

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Посмотрим, кто останется с

мячом на этот раз, жидяра!

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Кайл, не так быстро!

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Картмэн, хватит уже держать гребаный мяч!

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Не волнуйтесь, это на самом

деле не Челведьсвин.

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Это я, Ал Гор.

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Мы в курсе.

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Чувак, ты че делаешь?

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Я разношу информацию о Челведьсвине.

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Вот, каждый из вас, возьмите

буклет и наклейку на бампер.

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"Мы должны ВСЕ остановить Челведьсвина"

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Надеюсь, теперь вы понимаете,

что это все абсолютно серильезно.

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В следующий раз это может быть уже

настоящий Челведьсвин.

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Можешь заполнить

информационный лист?

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Только твое имя, телефонный номер

и где ты первый раз услышал о Челведьсвине.

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О, Стэн?

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О, привет, пап.

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Здравствуйте.

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Уже темнеет, ребята.

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Почему бы вам не забраться в

машину, и я тогда вас всех отвезу по домам?

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Хорошо, мистер Марш.

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Берегите себя.

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Ребята, я не хочу чтобы вы больше таскались

с этим бывшим вице-президентом, ладно?

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А, да с ним все порядке, пап.

Он просто пытался предупредить

нас о Челведьсвине.

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Челведьсвине?

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Он получеловек и полусвинведь.

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Неа, он получеловек,

полумедведь и полусвинья.

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Да без разницы.

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Он может быть полумедведем, получелсвином.

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Ребят, не существует никакого

Челведьсвина.

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Вице-президент просто

отчаянно добивается внимания к себе.

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Но мне его жалко, пап. Не думаю,

что у него есть друзья.

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Алле?

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Алле, это Ал Гор.

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Вот блин...

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Привет, мистер Гор.

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Я был вице-президентом.

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Я в курсе.

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Можешь со своими друзьями завтрашним утром

добраться до чрезвычайного

Челведьсвин-совещания?

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У меня есть улики, что он где-то

неподалеку.

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Извини, но мы все типа заняты.

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Я понимаю. Ты тоже мне не веришь.

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Нет, нет, это не так.

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Да, это так.

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Никто не верит мне!

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Я пытаюсь предупредить всех и никто

не воспринимает меня серильезно!

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Я просто хочу, чтобы кто-нибудь

хоть раз воспринял меня серильезно.

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Х-хорошо, мистер Гор. Я, я верю вам.

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Нет, не веришь.

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Да, я уверен что Челведьсвина

нужно остановить.

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Я просто... я просто боюсь,

что не могу ничего сделать,

чтобы остановить его.

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Ты серильезен?

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Да, я серильезен.

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Не волнуйся! Мы МОЖЕМ остановить его!

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Приведи всех кого сумеешь на мое

Челведьсвин-совещание завтра ровно в 8 утра!

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Чел, а зачем нам тусоваться с этим парнем?

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Да ладно вам, пацаны, у Ал Гора нет друзей.

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Мы всего лишь ненадолго появимся на

его маленьком совещании и затем уйдем.

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Привет, дети! Заходите!

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Хорошо, давайте начнем наше совещание.

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Что, по-вашему, мы должны сделать,

чтобы остановить Челведьсвина?

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Да, знаете, мистер Гор,

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мой папа - геолог и он сказал,

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что Челведьсвин,

скорее всего, не в Колорадо.

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Как выглядит твой папа?

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У него здоровые копыта там,

где должны быть ступни?

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НЕТ.

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Черт, а я уже было думал, что мы нашли его.

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Что ж, это было отличное совещание.

Так ведь, ребят?

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Но нам уже пора

возвращаться в школу.

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Боже мой!

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Активировать Челведьсвин-экран!

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Что это за место в Колорадо?

Это какая-то пещера?

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Да, это Пещера Ветров,

место паломничества туристов.

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О, Господи ты мой Иисусе,

нам надо немедленно отправиться туда.

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Не, я вот так не думаю, чел.

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Да, нам по-любому надо в школу.

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Я могу отпросить вас от школы.

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Ты...

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обладаешь такой силой?

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Ребята, у вас есть шанс помочь мне

найти и убить Челведьсвина раз и навсегда.

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Я абсолютно серильезен!

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Приветствую всех,

добро пожаловать в Пещеру Ветров.

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Во время нашей экскурсии

вы посетите две части

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одной из самых аккуратных

пещерных систем в Колорадо.

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Перед тем, как мы начнем, как я понимаю,

у нас сегодня в группе особо важный гость:

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бывший вице-президент, мистер Ал Гор.

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Мистер Гор попросил меня убедиться в том,

что вы все знаете о его присутствии.

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Теперь, как только мы войдем в пещеру,

вы должны следовать двум правилам:

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не сходить с тропинки и ничего не трогать.

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Готовы?

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ДА!

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Начинаем!

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И вот мы в главной части пещеры;

ее открыли в 1892 году,

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и она в начале использовалась как убежище

для контрабандистов с Дикого Запада.

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Вы обратили внимание на большие залежи

серы или похожий на лососину запах,

исходящие из пещер в последнее время?

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Нет.

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Как вы видите, пещера переполнена

сталагмитами и сталактитами.

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Вода капает с пещерных...

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Хорошо, дети. Мне нужно,

чтобы вы высматривали Челведьсвинный помет.

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А как выглядит Челведьсвинный помет?

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Он ближе к свиному помету, но более челведий.

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Эти камни зачастую образуют интересные

формы, которым мы любим давать имена.

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Например, вот этот мы назвали "Висячий Гриб".

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А вот здесь у нас "Мужчина с шлемом

и двумя катающимися шарами".

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И в заключение, конечно же, "Две сестрички".

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Сейчас самой пещере уже несколько

миллионов лет и постоянная температура

в ней порядка 57 градусов.

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Сэр? Мистер Гор? Какая-то проблема?

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Еще нет.

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Хорошо, если вы все пойдете по этому пути,

то увидите, как пещера получила свое имя.

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Дети, дети! Здесь, посмотрите.

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Что?

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Полагаю, это место, где он прячется.

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Выглядит как Челведьсвинный командный пункт.

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Идем!

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Идем! Это место, где находится

Челведьсвин! Я серильезен!

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В некоторых местах пещеры дует ветер

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и вы слышите этот звук.

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Сфотографируй звук, Стивен.

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Мистер Гор, я думаю, нам лучше оставаться

с нашей экскурсионной группой.

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Подожди, тихо!

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Боже! Он здесь!

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Возьми этот канат! Будь готов связать его!

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Теперь я поймал тебя, сукин сын!

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Ты че делаешь?!

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О, нет!

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Нет!

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Оставь их, гребаный Челведьсвин!

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Чтоб тебя, Челведьсвин! Они еще дети!

00:09:45,605 --> 00:09:48,945

Ладно, все, выходите из пещеры. Сейчас же!

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Уходим, уходим!

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Помогите!

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Мы в западне здесь!

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Кто-нибудь, помогите нам выбраться отсюда!

Мы в западне здесь!

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Кто-нибудь, помогите нам выбраться отсюда!

00:10:09,224 --> 00:10:10,966

Эй, помогите! Помогите!

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Забей! Они не могут услышать нас.

Эй, помогите! Помогите!

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Забей! Они не могут услышать нас.

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Лучше ты вытащишь нас отсюда, засранец!

00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:16,276

Я?

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Это ты решил пойти с Ал Гором и быть с ним

вежливым! И теперь мы в западне в пещере!

00:10:19,616 --> 00:10:20,876

Возможно, есть другой путь выбраться отсюда.

00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:24,526

Ладно, давайте разделимся и поищем выход.

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,306

Все пойдут по разным путям.

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Блин, мы серьезно попали с этим.

00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:37,066

Вот дерьмо! Был бы я худым,

уже бы совсем задолбался!

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Блин!

00:10:48,246 --> 00:10:51,196

"Логово контрабанды"

00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:57,926

Что-нибудь видишь, Кенни?

00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:00,856

Картмэн?

00:11:02,106 --> 00:11:03,876

Картмэн, видишь что-нибудь?

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Ньне, нни...

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Нет, ничего.

00:11:07,596 --> 00:11:08,776

Нет, ничего тут нет!

00:11:11,596 --> 00:11:13,776

С-Сокровище.

00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:16,036

Картмэн, ты в порядке? Нужна помощь?

00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:18,586

Со мной все хорошо! Здесь тупик!

00:11:18,706 --> 00:11:20,406

Уже возвращаюсь к вам!

00:11:25,426 --> 00:11:26,936

Похоже, мы засыпаны со всех сторон.

00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:32,756

В 200 ярдах отсюда есть небольшой проход,

но путь до него очень длинный и довольно крутой.

00:11:33,346 --> 00:11:34,706

Может нам стоит пойти туда.

00:11:35,456 --> 00:11:37,826

Пацаны, вы лучше двигайтесь дальше.

А я останусь здесь и пережду.

00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:39,636

Почему?

00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,756

Я просто... я, я себя не очень хорошо

чувствую. Я, я буду для вас обузой.

00:11:42,756 --> 00:11:45,866

Картмэн прав. Первое правило выживания -

оставаться на месте и ждать спасения.

00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,396

Не, все хорошо. Пацаны, идите дальше.

00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:48,496

Нет, мы останемся здесь тоже.

00:11:48,636 --> 00:11:50,556

Если будем бродить здесь,

то потеряемся или умрем.

00:11:50,696 --> 00:11:52,786

Давайте подождем здесь и понадеемся,

что помощь не заставит себя ждать.

00:11:53,386 --> 00:11:54,826

Круто. Только я...

00:11:54,996 --> 00:11:56,606

Только я бы на вашем месте ушел отсюда.

00:11:56,756 --> 00:11:58,156

Я только что наложил большую кучу.

00:11:58,456 --> 00:11:59,706

Блин, чел!

00:12:01,996 --> 00:12:06,046

Обвал был большим. Он отрубил весь

доступ и снаружи, и изнутри.

00:12:06,196 --> 00:12:09,286

Дети, надеюсь, в западне

где-нибудь в этой области.

00:12:09,876 --> 00:12:11,756

Кто-нибудь знает, кто эти дети?

00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:13,136

Нет, никто вроде ничего не знает о них.

00:12:13,296 --> 00:12:15,156

Только то, что они были

в экскурсионной группе.

00:12:15,156 --> 00:12:16,916

Раскопки займут много времени.

00:12:17,056 --> 00:12:18,996

Простите, простите.

00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:21,196

Этот обвал не был несчастным случаем,

00:12:21,346 --> 00:12:24,366

и он не прекратится, пока мы не ускоримся!

00:12:24,516 --> 00:12:25,746

Я супер

00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:26,546

дупер

00:12:26,616 --> 00:12:27,046

серильезен!

00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,306

Что вы имеете в виду? Обвал прекратился.

00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:32,696

Я боюсь, у нас есть проблема

серьезнее, чем обвал.

00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:33,946

Какая проблема?

00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,786

Это что, Cвинведьчел?

00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:42,286

Нет, тупица! Это Челведьсвин!

00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,186

Я тааак голоден.

00:12:45,336 --> 00:12:46,856

Думаете, они хотя бы знают, что мы здесь?

00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:48,436

Они видели нас на экскурсии.

00:12:49,356 --> 00:12:50,826

Картмэн, ты куда все ходишь?

00:12:50,976 --> 00:12:54,576

Мне нужно просираться.

У меня понос.

00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:57,666

Чел, было бы не так хреново,

если бы ты не ходил срать

каждые десять минут!

00:12:57,806 --> 00:13:00,516

Давайте попробуем заснуть.

Может быть, помощь придет завтра.

00:13:07,476 --> 00:13:11,166

Все это сокровище. Оно все мое!

00:13:11,336 --> 00:13:14,776

До тех пор пока эти жадные

уроды не прознают о нем!

00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:18,056

Вы бы были рады заполучить

мое сокровище, так ведь?

00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:21,066

Даже после того, как я нашел его,

вы бы были рады думать, что оно и ваше тоже!

00:13:21,236 --> 00:13:23,166

Боже, я ненавижу вас, пацаны!

00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,956

Особенно тебя, жадный до денег змееныш!

00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:30,326

Что же, у меня новость для тебя, Кайл!

00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:32,516

Ты никогда не получишь мое сокровище.

00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:33,846

У меня есть небольшой план,

00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:37,086

как вытащить сокровище отсюда,

чтобы ты никогда не узнал о нем.

00:13:38,266 --> 00:13:39,996

К-Картмэн?

00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:43,176

О, привет, Кайл. Как дела?

00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:45,466

Чел, ты че делаешь?

00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:46,836

Ничего особенного.

00:13:46,996 --> 00:13:49,066

Знаешь, просто ошиваюсь поблизости.

00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:52,906

Как сам? Хорошо?

00:13:53,046 --> 00:13:54,096

Чел, слезь с меня!

00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:56,456

Да. Приятно поговорить с

тобой, Кайл. Увидимся.

00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:02,916

Почему меня никто не слушает?

00:14:03,046 --> 00:14:05,096

Челведьсвин здесь и мы должны убить его,

00:14:05,216 --> 00:14:07,736

пока есть шанс. Я серильезен!

00:14:07,886 --> 00:14:10,096

Мистер Гор, пожалуйста, успокойтесь.

00:14:10,236 --> 00:14:12,376

Итак, что именно вы предлагаете нам делать?

00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:15,376

Я говорил, что нам нужно наполнить

пещеру горячим расплавленным свинцом,

00:14:15,536 --> 00:14:18,936

ведь это единственный способ убедиться

что Челведьсвин никогда не вылезет из нее!

00:14:19,086 --> 00:14:20,676

И я в здравом уме,

и я абсолютно серильезен,

00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:22,546

но все лишь продолжают копать!

00:14:22,686 --> 00:14:26,326

Понимаете, проблема в том,

что если мы наполним пещеру

горячим расплавленным свинцом,

00:14:26,556 --> 00:14:27,946

мы убьем и мальчиков тоже.

00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:29,866

Они уже мертвы! Вы меня что, не слушаете??

00:14:30,016 --> 00:14:32,166

Их атаковал Челведьсвин,

00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:35,356

а Челведьсвин никого не оставляет живым!

Я суперсерильезен!!

00:14:35,496 --> 00:14:38,316

Никто меня не

слушает, но я серильезен!

00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:45,446

Может мне убрать бывшего

вице-президента отсюда?

00:14:45,596 --> 00:14:49,316

Не, мне его жалко. Не думаю,

что у него есть друзья.

00:14:57,566 --> 00:15:01,186

Ладно, я должен быть сильным.

Еще осталось сокровище.

00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:23,826

Чел, ему в самом деле хреново.

00:15:30,226 --> 00:15:34,536

Прошло три дня с тех пор,

как четверо неизвестных детей

попали в ловушку после завала.

00:15:34,986 --> 00:15:37,716

Три дня без еды - и время,

само собой, на исходе.

00:15:38,156 --> 00:15:40,876

Раскопки продолжаются,

но продвижение фатально медленное.

00:15:41,366 --> 00:15:43,336

Итак, все, мы должны работать быстрее!

00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:45,486

В лучшем случае осталось

три дня того, как мы доберемся

00:15:45,616 --> 00:15:48,136

до места в пещере "Логово контрабанды".

00:15:48,296 --> 00:15:49,136

"Логово контрабанды"?

00:15:49,396 --> 00:15:51,136

Это комната посещается ближе к концу экскурсии.

00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:53,126

В ней можно сфотографироваться

с фальшивым сокровищем.

00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,256

Вот, смотрите.

00:15:56,996 --> 00:15:59,156

Судя по тому, где последний

раз видели мальчиков,

00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:00,546

они где-то в этой области!

00:16:00,696 --> 00:16:03,956

Будем надеяться, что они последовали первому

правилу выживания и остались на месте.

00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,836

Стэн! Стэн, очнись!

00:16:07,736 --> 00:16:08,826

Что? Они пришли за нами?

00:16:08,976 --> 00:16:11,736

Нет, я про Картмэна.

С ним реально что-то не так.

00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:21,276

Боже мой...

00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:23,526

Картмэн? Чел, ты меня слышишь?

00:16:23,686 --> 00:16:26,276

Я в порядке. Просто немно...

00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:29,306

Неважно.

00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,556

Мы не можем больше их ждать!

00:16:33,696 --> 00:16:35,406

Нам надо выбираться отсюда или мы умрем.

00:16:35,586 --> 00:16:36,016

Но как?

00:16:36,156 --> 00:16:38,196

Мы даже не мо... не знаем,

ведет ли этот проход куда-либо.

00:16:38,356 --> 00:16:39,656

Возможно, нам стоит сначала

выбраться отсюда,

00:16:39,786 --> 00:16:41,646

посмотреть, сможем ли найти

выход и уже тогда вернуться за ним.

00:16:41,806 --> 00:16:44,246

НЕТ! Не оставляйте меня одного, кретины!

00:16:44,946 --> 00:16:46,546

Не оставляйте меня здесь умирать.

00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,564

Давай, давай, тащи!

00:17:02,754 --> 00:17:04,544

Блин, он такой тяжелый!

00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:06,564

Поторопитесь, пацаны.

00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,244

Вы должны вытащить меня отсюда.

00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:14,684

Что это за фигня была? Картмэн?

00:17:14,854 --> 00:17:17,044

Пацаны, у нас нет времени!

Вытащите меня отсюда!

00:17:24,524 --> 00:17:27,034

Пришел твой конец, Челведьсвин!

00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:37,974

Excelsior!

00:17:49,664 --> 00:17:52,224

Я не могу больше его держать!

У меня нет сил!

00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:53,404

Нет, ты можешь!

00:17:55,184 --> 00:17:56,504

А это что за фигня?

00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:00,854

Бог мой...

00:18:00,854 --> 00:18:03,434

Нет! Дайте мне выбраться отсюда, пацаны!

00:18:03,564 --> 00:18:05,084

Беееги!

00:18:09,844 --> 00:18:12,974

Уходите отсюда!

Мы больше ничего не можем поделать!

00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:14,394

Вы отзываете спасателей?

00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:16,514

Мы не ожидали затопления с реки.

00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:18,884

Господь видимо действительно

хочет смерти этих детей.

00:18:19,024 --> 00:18:20,394

А что, если дети не умерли?

00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:23,824

Пещера полностью затоплена.

Никто не мог выжить.

00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:25,934

Там больше никого не осталось в живых.

00:18:28,864 --> 00:18:31,584

Никого не осталось в живых...

00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:32,824

Я сделал это.

00:18:32,974 --> 00:18:35,274

Я убил Челведьсвина.

00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:38,084

Я спас Землю от неминуемого разрушения.

00:18:38,864 --> 00:18:41,264

Все в восторге от меня,

00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,134

даже если они не знают об этом.

00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,774

Кенни! Кенни, держись за руку!

00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,844

Быстрее, Кайл, уровень воды поднимается!

00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,444

Картмэн! Ты должен сам плыть!

00:18:59,554 --> 00:19:01,364

Двигай своими ногами!

00:19:01,454 --> 00:19:02,064

Я не могу двигать!

00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:03,434

Нет, можешь!

00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:05,034

Не могу! Сам двигай, чтобы спастись!

00:19:05,074 --> 00:19:06,164

Но мне нужна твоя помощь!

00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,004

Нет, тебе нужно только спасти меня.

00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,574

Кайл, нет!

00:19:17,804 --> 00:19:22,944

Мы собрались здесь,

чтобы попрощаться с четырьмя детьми,

которым мы все пытались помочь,

00:19:23,064 --> 00:19:24,884

но, в конце концов, не смогли.

00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:27,134

Но где потеря, там и надежда.

00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,984

Надежда, что больше не будет Челведьсвина.

00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:32,204

Господи, только не снова.

00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:34,314

Я победил Челведьсвина,

00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:39,194

и мы никогда не забудем имена

храбрых детей, которые погибли.

00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:41,104

Ребенок 1.

00:19:41,274 --> 00:19:42,744

Ребенок 2.

00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,514

Ребенок 3.

00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:47,564

И, конечно же, Ребенок 4.

00:19:47,814 --> 00:19:50,534

Я все еще помню, как Ребенок

1 смеялся и играл.

00:19:51,654 --> 00:19:54,494

И как Ребенок 2 всегда был

там, где я в нем нуждался.

00:19:54,634 --> 00:19:56,144

Боже!

00:19:58,894 --> 00:19:59,734

Это дети!

00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:00,834

Они живы!

00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:05,624

Дети, я спас вас!

00:20:05,774 --> 00:20:07,734

Отвали от нас, урод!

00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,534

Я был вежлив с тобой, жалел тебя,

потому что у тебя нет друзей!

00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:13,204

А теперь я понимаю, ПОЧЕМУ у тебя нет друзей!

00:20:13,324 --> 00:20:16,214

Ты лишь использовал Челведьсвина,

чтобы привлечь к себе внимание,

00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:18,414

потому что ты - неудачник!

00:20:19,544 --> 00:20:23,854

Да, правда. Человек, который собственноручно

убил Челведьсвина, - неудачник.

00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:28,034

Нашего друга нужно отвезти

в больницу немедленно!

00:20:28,384 --> 00:20:29,464

Нет! Нет, со мной все хорошо.

00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,764

Мне только надо вернуться домой и отдохнуть.

00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,674

Картмэн, серьезно,

ты должен показаться врачу!

00:20:34,014 --> 00:20:36,204

Нет! Мне просто надо добраться до туалета.

00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:37,904

Увидимся, пацаны.

00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:54,544

Чел, Картмэн только что высрал сокровище?

00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,534

Оно мое! Оно мое, слышите меня?!

00:20:57,794 --> 00:20:59,404

Я вынес его из пещеры, и оно принадлежит мне!

00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,254

Держите свои жадные ручонки подальше!

00:21:01,444 --> 00:21:04,964

Эй, оно выглядит как фальшивое сокровише из

нашей фото-комнаты "Логово контрабанды".

00:21:05,044 --> 00:21:06,504

Это так, и я...

00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:07,594

Фальшивое сокровище?

00:21:07,814 --> 00:21:10,344

Да, мы его положили там,

чтобы дети фотографировались с ним.

00:21:10,674 --> 00:21:14,014

В целом это сокровище

стоит порядка 40 долларов.

00:21:14,094 --> 00:21:17,904

Нет... НЕЕЕТ! НЕТ!

00:21:18,884 --> 00:21:21,554

Ты заставил нас беспокоиться о твоей

безопасности из-за фальшивого сокровища?!

00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:22,734

Сукин сын!

00:21:22,884 --> 00:21:24,434

Не думаешь ли ты, что я и так

настрадался достаточно, Кайл?

00:21:27,334 --> 00:21:29,234

Что же, моя работа здесь завершена.

00:21:29,384 --> 00:21:33,254

Я убил ЧВС, и теперь настал черед

спасти мир от чего-нибудь другого.

00:21:33,514 --> 00:21:35,064

Может быть мне снять фильм?

00:21:35,184 --> 00:21:36,954

Фильм со мной в главной роли!

00:21:37,084 --> 00:21:39,224

И уж тогда все воспримут

меня суперсерильезно!

00:21:40,144 --> 00:21:42,704

Excelsior!

00:21:44,544 --> 00:21:48,384

Спасибо за просмотр!

Matr!XER (matr1xer@mail.ru)

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,195

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,950

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,079

M'kay, students.

00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,249

We have a very special

guest speaker today.

00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,420

Who can tell me the name of our

country's last vice president?

00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,088

Dick Cheney?

00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,548

No, the last one.

00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,799

Bill Clinton!

00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,177

No, Clinton's vice president.

00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,473

He is here today

to talk to you students

00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:58,142

about some very serious issues.

00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,394

Please welcome Al Gore!

00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,316

Who?

00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,694

Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students

of South Park Elementary.

00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,821

I am here to educate you

00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:14,158

about the single biggest threat

to our planet.

00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,494

You see,

there is something out there

00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,871

which threatens

our very existence

00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,208

and may be the end

to the human race as we know it.

00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:28,089

I'm talking, of course,

about ManBearPig.

00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,132

ManBearPig?

00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,385

It is a creature

which roams the earth alone.

00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:38,849

It is half man, half bear,

and half pig.

00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:43,187

Some people say

that ManBearPig isn't real.

00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,106

Well, I'm here to tell you now,

00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:50,277

ManBearPig is very real,

and he most certainly exists.

00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,071

I'm cereal.

00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,908

ManBearPig doesn't care

who you are or what you've done.

00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,828

ManBearPig simply

wants to get you.

00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,372

I'm super cereal.

00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,795

But have no fear,

because I am here to save you.

00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,757

And someday, when the world

is rid of ManBearPig,

00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,177

everyone will say,

"Thank you, Al Gore.

00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,513

You're super awesome."

00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,849

The end.

00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,936

Uh, okay.

Thank you, Mr. Gore.

00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,272

Thank you, class.

00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,732

Excelsior!

00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,991

Check out this sweet move.

00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,826

Kyle, you can't block like that!

00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,411

Just play the game, fat-ass.

00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,620

Pass it to me, Cartman.

00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,290

Hang on. I'm gonna do

something super killer.

00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,710

God damn it!

Stop it, Kyle!

00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,510

All right.

Check it out.

00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,304

This is a total Kobe Bryant

I'm about to do.

00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,889

Just take a shot

or pass the ball, asshole!

00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:00,848

It's getting late!

00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,275

Let's just see you get the ball

this time, Jew boy.

00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,860

Kyle, knock it off!

00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,156

Cartman stop hogging

the goddamn ball!

00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,158

Gwoooon!

00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,287

Don't worry.

It's not really ManBearPig.

00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,122

It's me -- Al Gore.

00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,916

We know.

00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:29,877

Dude, what are you doing?

00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,004

I'm spreading

ManBearPig awareness.

00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,466

Here. Each of you kids take a

pamphlet and a bumper sticker.

00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,888

I hope now you boys see

that this is totally cereal.

00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:44,808

The next time, it could be

the real ManBearPig.

00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,561

Can I just get you to sign

the awareness sheet?

00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,355

Just your name and phone number

00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,607

and where you first

heard about ManBearPig?

00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,608

Uh, Stan?

00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,151

Oh, hey, Dad.

00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,238

Hello.

00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,158

It's uh, getting late, boys.

00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,369

Why don't you get in the car

and I'll drive you all home.

00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,995

Okay, Mr. Marsh.

00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,247

Be safe.

00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,594

Boys, I don't want you

hanging out

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055

with that ex-vice president

anymore, okay?

00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,390

Aw, he's all right, Dad.

00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,225

He was just trying to warn us

about ManBearPig.

00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,268

ManBearPig?

00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,061

He's half man and half bearpig.

00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,272

No, dude, he's half man,

half bear, and half pig.

00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,606

That doesn't make any sense.

00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,400

He could be half bear,

half manpig.

00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,319

Boys, there's no such thing

as a ManBearPig.

00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,989

The vice president is just

desperate for attention.

00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:41,740

But I feel kind of bad

for him, Dad.

00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,243

I don't think he has

any friends.

00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,417

Hello?

00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,294

Hello.

This is Al Gore.

00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,503

Oh, man.

00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,046

Hi, Mr. Gore.

00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,215

- I was the vice president.

- I know.

00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,508

Can you and your friends make it

00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,011

to an emergency ManBearPig

meeting tomorrow morning?

00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,596

I have some evidence

he could be in this area.

00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:09,351

Look, I'm sorry,

but we're all kind of busy.

00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,563

Oh. I get it.

00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,398

You don't believe me either.

00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,858

No, no.

It's not that.

00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,443

Yes, it is.

00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,944

Nobody believes me!

00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:22,823

I'm trying to warn everybody,

and nobody takes me cereal!

00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,996

I just want somebody

in the world

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,790

to take me cereal just for once.

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,169

It's okay, Mr. Gore.

00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,754

I-I believe you.

00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,505

No, you don't.

00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,507

Yeah. I'm sure ManBearPig

needs to be stopped.

00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,468

I'm just -- I'm just scared

00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,178

that I can't do anything

to stop him.

00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,473

Are you cereal?

00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,224

Yes, I'm cereal.

00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,310

Don't worry.

We can stop him!

00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,562

Bring everyone you can

to my ManBearPig meeting

00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,022

tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. sharp!

00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,863

Dude, why are we going

to hang out with this guy?

00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:03,947

Mrph.

Mrph rmh rmphm.

00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,033

Come on, you guys. Al Gore

doesn't have any friends.

00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,786

We'll make an appearance at his

little meeting and we'll go.

00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,121

Hi, kids!

Come on in!

00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,874

Okay.

Let's get this meeting started.

00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,710

What do you kids think we

should do to stop ManBearPig?

00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,880

Yeah, you know, Mr. Gore,

my dad is a geologist,

00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,342

and he said that ManBearPig

probably isn't in Colorado.

00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,969

What does your dad look like?

00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:28,305

Does he have large hooves

where his feet should be?!

00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,348

No!

00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,433

Damn. For a minute there,

I thought we'd found him.

00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,685

Well, this was a great meeting,

wasn't it, guys?

00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,145

But we got to get going

to school now.

00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,314

Oh, my God!

00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,526

ManBearPig screen active!

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:45,072

What is this area of Colorado?

It's a cave of some kind!

00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,533

Yeah, that's Cave of the Winds.

It's a tourist attraction.

00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,951

Oh, Jesus on ice skates,

00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,161

we've got to get down there

right away.

00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,956

- I don't think so, dude.

- Yeah, we've got school anyway.

00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,917

I can get you all excused

from school.

00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,920

You have that kind of power?

00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,713

Look, you boys have a chance

00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,008

to help me find and kill

ManBearPig once and for all.

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,677

I'm totally cereal!

00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,891

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Cave of the Winds.

00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,102

Our tour is going to take us

through two chambers

00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,480

of one of the most elaborate

cavern systems in Colorado.

00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,524

Before we get started,

I do understand

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,943

we have a special guest

in our group today --

00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,112

the ex-vice president,

Mr. Al Gore!

00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,412

Mr. Gore asked me to make sure

you all knew he was here.

00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,872

Now, once we enter the cave,

00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,915

we do ask you that you follow

two rules --

00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,501

stay on the path

and do not touch anything.

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,419

All right.

Are we ready?

00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:41,879

Yeah!

00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,964

Let's go cavin'!

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633

Here we are in the main chamber

of the cave.

00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,677

It was discovered in 1892

00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,139

and first used as a hideout

for smugglers of the Old West.

00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,224

Have you noticed

high deposits of sulfur

00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,269

or a salmon-like odor

coming from the caves lately?

00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,354

Uh, no.

00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,898

Now, as you can see,

00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,734

the cave is filled with

stalagmites and stalactites.

00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,652

- Water drips from the...

- All right, kids.

00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,697

I need you to keep an eye out

for ManBearPig droppings.

00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,699

What do ManBearPig droppings

look like?

00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,536

Similar to pig droppings

but more manbear-like.

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,538

These rocks often make

interesting shapes,

00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,539

which we like to name.

00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,168

For instance, this one here

we named The Hanging Mushroom."

00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:26,715

And over here we have Man With

Helmet and Two Bowling Balls.

00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,176

And finally, of course,

The Two Sisters.

00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,888

Now, the cave itself

is millions of years old

00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,016

and has a constant temperature

of 57 degrees.

00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,392

Gwoooooon!

00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,686

Gwoooooon!

00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,899

Sir? Mr. Gore?

Is there a problem?

00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,860

- Not yet.

- All right, everyone.

00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,655

If you'll step this way, you'll

see how the cave gets its name.

00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,616

Kids! Kids, over here!

Look!

00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:53,450

What?

00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,327

I'll bet this is where

he's hiding.

00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,621

This looks like

ManBearPig central.

00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,373

Come on!

00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,583

Come on!

This is where ManBearPig is!

00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,044

I'm cereal!

00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,256

In certain areas of the cave,

the wind actually blows through,

00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,924

causing a sound you can hear.

00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,886

- Ahh!

- Ooh!

00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,222

Take a picture of the sound,

Steven.

00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,934

Mr. Gore, I think we should

stay with the tour group.

00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:19,935

Wait!

Shh!

00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,981

Christ, he's here!

00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:24,982

Take this rope!

00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,567

Be ready to tie him up!

00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,653

I've got you now,

you son of a bitch!

00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,614

What are you doing?

00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,116

Oh, no!

00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,827

No!

00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,663

Leave them alone,

you goddamn ManBearPig!

00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,331

Help! Help!

00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,293

Damn you, ManBearPig!

They're just children!

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:49,089

Okay.

Everyone out of the cave now!

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,551

Go! Go!

Move out!

00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,930

Aaah!

00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,231

- Hello?

- Help!

00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,232

We're trapped in here!

00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,735

Somebody get us!

We're trapped down here! Hello!

00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,445

- Help!

- Forget it!

00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,739

- They can't hear us.

- Mrph rmh rmhmhm rmh?

00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,616

You better get us out of here,

asshole!

00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:16,450

Me?

00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,243

You just had to go

and be nice to Al Gore!

00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,703

Now we're trapped in a cave!

00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,288

Maybe there's another way

out of here.

00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,205

Mrph rmhmhm.

00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,458

All right. Let's split up

and look for a passageway.

00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:27,002

Everyone take

a different direction.

00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,424

Oh, man.

We're in big trouble here.

00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,259

This is bullcrap.

00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,846

If I miss dinner,

I'm gonna be so pissed off.

00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,431

Aah!

00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,226

God damn it!

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,200

You see anything, Kenny?

00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,951

Mrph rmh rm!

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,662

Cartman?

00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,498

Cartman, you see anything?

00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041

No, nothing.

00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,127

No.

Nothing here. Nothing this way.

00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,508

T-Treasure.

00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,760

Cartman, you okay?

You need help?

00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,179

I'm fine!

This way's a d-dead end!

00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,639

Coming back to you now.

00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,312

It looks like we're

completely sealed in.

00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,313

Mrph rmh rmphm.

00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,315

There's a small passageway

about 200 yards over there.

00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,443

But it goes for a long,

long way, and it's pretty steep.

00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,237

Maybe we should go for it.

00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,697

You guys go on ahead.

00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,407

I'm gonna stay here,

wait it out.

00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,491

Why?

00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,410

I just --

I don't feel very good.

00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,869

I'll just weigh you guys down.

00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,663

Cartman's right --

First rule of survival

00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,164

is stay put

and wait to be rescued.

00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,416

No. It's okay.

You guys go on ahead.

00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,625

No.

We'll stay here, too.

00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,836

If we start wandering off,

we're gonna get lost or killed.

00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,046

Let's just wait here

and hope help comes soon.

00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,297

That's cool.

00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,842

I just -- I just wouldn't go

over there if I were you guys.

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,385

I just took a huge dump.

00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,220

Aw, dude!

00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,226

The cave-in was massive and has

cut off all access in or out.

00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,813

The children are believed to be

trapped somewhere in this area.

00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,857

Does anybody know

who these kids are?

00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,442

No, nobody seems to know them,

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,026

only that they were

in the tour group.

00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,112

Digging to them

is gonna take days.

00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,030

Excuse me!

00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533

This cave-in was no accident,

00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,369

and it isn't going to stop

unless we move fast.

00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,748

I am superduper cereal.

00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,624

What do you mean?

The cave-in is over.

00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,086

I'm afraid you have a much

bigger problem than a cave-in.

00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,045

What's that?

00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,009

What is that?

A PigBearMan?

00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,761

No, stupid.

00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,096

It's ManBearPig.

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,390

I'm so hungry.

00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,350

Do you think people

even know we're here?

00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,102

They saw us on the tour.

00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,062

Dude, where do you keep going,

Cartman?

00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,440

I just need to keep taking

a crap.

00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,066

I've got diarrhea really bad.

00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,568

Dude, it's bad enough

we have to sit here

00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,153

without you taking a crap

every 10 minutes!

00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,613

Let's just try to sleep.

00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,990

Maybe help will come tomorrow.

00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,623

All that treasure.

00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,500

It's all mine!

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,628

So long as these greedy assholes

don't find out about it.

00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,129

You would all just love

00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,048

to get your hands

on my treasure, wouldn't you?

00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,090

Even though I found it,

00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,218

you'd love to think

it's somehow yours, too.

00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,677

God, I hate you guys.

00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,846

Especially you,

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,848

you money-grubbing

snake in the grass.

00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,185

Well, I've got news for you,

Kyle.

00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,479

You're never going to get

my treasure.

00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,105

I've got a little plan going

00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,734

to get the treasure out of here

without you ever knowing.

00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,778

C-Cartman?

00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,406

Oh. Hey, Kyle.

How's it going?

00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,492

Dude, what are you doing?

00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,160

Not much.

00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,204

You know, just hanging out.

00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,582

How you been, man?

Good?

00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,834

Dude, get away from me.

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,502

Yeah, it was nice talking

with you, Kyle.

00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,003

See you around.

00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,634

Why won't anybody listen to me?

00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:03,969

ManBearPig is in there,

00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,179

and we have to kill him

while we all have the chance.

00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,639

I'm cereal!

00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,808

Mr. Gore, please.

We need you to calm down.

00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,018

Now, what exactly

do you suggest we do?

00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:15,480

I told you we need to fill

the cave with hot molten lead

00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,817

'cause it's the only way to make

sure ManBearPig never comes out!

00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,652

And I'm saying it,

and I'm totally cereal,

00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,571

but everyone just keeps digging!

00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,407

Well, see, the problem is that

if we fill the caves

00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,826

with hot molten lead,

it will kill those boys, too.

00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,287

They're already dead!

Didn't you listen to me?

00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,955

They got attacked by ManBearPig,

00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582

and ManBearPig

leaves nobody alive!

00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,125

I'm super cereal!

00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,169

And nobody will listen to me!

I'm cereal!

00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,093

Do you want me to get the

ex-vice president out of here?

00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,220

Nah.

I-I feel kind of bad for him.

00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,306

I don't think

he has any friends.

00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,899

All right.

Got to be strong.

00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,859

There's still a lot more

treasure to go.

00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,132

Dude, he's really sick.

00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,058

It's been three days since

four unidentified children

00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,726

were trapped in a cave-in.

00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,938

Three days without food, and

time is certainly running out.

00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,815

The digging continues,

but progress is fatally slow.

00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,151

All right, people.

We've got to work faster.

00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,487

Our best estimate still puts us

three days away

00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,948

from reaching the area of

the cave called Smuggler's Den.

00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,115

Smuggler's Den?

00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,742

I-It's a room near the end

of the tour

00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,244

where you can get your picture

taken with fake treasure.

00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,204

Here. See?

00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,708

Based on where the boys

were seen last,

00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,418

they're somewhere near

this area.

00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,545

Hopefully they've followed

the first rule of survival

00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172

and stayed put.

00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,675

Stan.

Stan, wake up!

00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,677

Huh? What?

Have they come for us?

00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,136

No, it's Cartman.

00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,514

Something's really wrong

with him.

00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,560

Blugh.

00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,106

Oh, my God!

00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,441

Cartman!

Dude, can you hear me?!

00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,195

I'm fine.

Just a little --

00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,947

No big deal.

00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,284

We can't wait here any longer.

00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,245

We got to get him out of here

or he's gonna die.

00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,162

How, dude?

00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,039

We don't even know if that

passage goes anywhere.

00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,542

Maybe we should head out first,

see if we can find a way out,

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,543

and then come back for him.

00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,669

No, don't!

00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,504

Don't leave me here,

you assholes.

00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922

Don't leave me here to die.

00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,731

Come on!

Pull!

00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,482

God damn it, he's so heavy!

00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,651

Hurry, you guys.

00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,361

You got to get me out of here.

00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,617

- What the hell was that?

- Cartman?

00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,328

You guys, we got no time!

You got to get me out!

00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,630

This is the end of you,

ManBearPig.

00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,058

Excelsior!

00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,359

Blugh.

00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:49,736

Mrph rmhmhm rhm.

00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:52,322

I can't keep carrying him, dude.

I've got no strength.

00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,531

Yes, you do!

00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,409

What the hell is that?

00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,705

Oh, my God.

00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,083

Aah! Get me out of here!

Get me out of here, you guys!

00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,084

Run!

00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,299

That's it.

Pull everyone out.

00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,842

There's nothing more we can do.

00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,344

You're calling off the rescue?

00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,679

We didn't plan on

a freak river flood.

00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,723

God must really want

those kids dead.

00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,350

What if the children

aren't dead?

00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,519

Look, the cavern

is completely flooded.

00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,187

Nothing could have survived.

00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,606

There's nothing left alive

down there.

00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,402

Nothing left alive.

00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:32,987

I did it.

00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,240

I killed ManBearPig.

00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,993

I've saved the earth

from certain destruction.

00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,287

Everyone is super stoked on me.

00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,331

Even if they don't know it.

00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,173

Kenny, here!

Take my hand!

00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,592

Hurry, Kyle!

The water's rising!

00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,472

Cartman...you've got to swim!

00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,765

Kick with your legs!

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,308

I can't kick!

00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,518

Yes, you can!

00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,228

I can't kick!

You just have to save me!

00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,689

- I need your help!

- No, you just have to save me!

00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:14,028

Kyle, no!

00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,243

We are gathered here

to say goodbye

00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,912

to four kids

whom we all tried to help

00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,831

but in the end could not.

00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,500

But where there is loss,

there is hope.

00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,086

For ManBearPig is no more.

00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,213

Oh, Jesus.

Here we go again.

00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,382

I have beaten ManBearPig,

00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,342

and we will never forget

the names

00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,846

of the brave young kids

who lost their lives --

00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:44,767

kid one...kid two...kid three...

00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,729

and, of course, kid four.

00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,232

I remember how kid one

used to laugh and play

00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,902

and how kid two was always there

when I needed him.

00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,778

Oh, my God!

00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,909

It's the kids!

They're alive!

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,914

Kids!

I saved you!

00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,874

Just stay away from us, asshole!

00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,168

I was nice to you

because I felt sorry for you

00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,628

because you don't have

any friends!

00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,671

But now I see why

you don't have any friends!

00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,841

You just use ManBearPig as a way

to get attention for yourself

00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,384

because you're a loser!

00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,511

Yeah, right.

00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,973

The man who single-handedly

killed ManBearPig is a loser.

00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,478

We need to get our friend

to a hospital right away!

00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:29,896

No!

No, I'm fine.

00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,023

I just need to get home

and rest.

00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,983

Cartman, seriously,

you need to see a doctor!

00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,319

No!

I just need to get to a toilet.

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,154

See you guys.

I--

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,197

Ha-ba --

00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,409

Ha-ba-a-a-a-a-a-a!

00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,827

Aah!

00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,629

Dude, did Cartman

just crap treasure?

00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,590

It's mine!

It's mine! You hear me?

00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,634

I got it out of the cave!

It belongs to me!

00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,177

Keep your greedy hands away!

00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,304

Hey, that looks like

the fake treasure

00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,139

from our Smuggler's Den

photo room.

00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,975

That's right, and I --

00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:07,976

Fake treasure?

00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,895

Yeah. We put it there for kids

to take their picture with.

00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,190

All in all, I'd say that

treasure is worth about $14.

00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,275

No.

00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,484

No!

00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,986

Aah!

00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,028

Ow!

00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,531

You made us pull you to safety

because you ate treasure?

00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:22,824

You son of a bitch!

00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,575

Don't you think

I'm hurting enough, Kyle?

00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,994

Ow! Ow!

00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,036

Ow!

00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,080

Well, my work here is done.

00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,790

I've killed MBP,

00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,418

and now I must save the world

from something else.

00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,169

Maybe I'll make a movie.

00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,921

A movie starring me.

00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:39,924

Then people will take me

super cereal.

00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:41,801

Excelsior!

00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,221

Aah!

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,195

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,950

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,079

MR. MACKEY:

M'kay, students.

00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,249

We have a very special

guest speaker today.

00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,420

Who can tell me the name of our

country's last vice president?

00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,088

Dick Cheney?

00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,548

No, the last one.

00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,799

Bill Clinton!

00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,177

No, Clinton's vice president.

00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,473

He is here today

to talk to you students

00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:58,142

about some very serious issues.

00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,394

Please welcome Al Gore!

00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:03,064

[ Light applause ]

00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,316

Who?

00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,694

Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students

of South Park Elementary.

00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,821

I am here to educate you

00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:14,158

about the single biggest threat

to our planet.

00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,494

You see,

there is something out there

00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,871

which threatens

our very existence

00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,208

and may be the end

to the human race as we know it.

00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:28,089

I'm talking, of course,

about ManBearPig.

00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,132

ManBearPig?

00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,385

It is a creature

which roams the earth alone.

00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:38,849

It is half man, half bear,

and half pig.

00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:43,187

Some people say

that ManBearPig isn't real.

00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,106

Well, I'm here to tell you now,

00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:50,277

ManBearPig is very real,

and he most certainly exists.

00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,071

I'm cereal.

00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,908

ManBearPig doesn't care

who you are or what you've done.

00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,828

ManBearPig simply

wants to get you.

00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,372

I'm super cereal.

00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,795

But have no fear,

because I am here to save you.

00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,757

And someday, when the world

is rid of ManBearPig,

00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,177

everyone will say,

"Thank you, Al Gore.

00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,513

You're super awesome."

00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,849

The end.

00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,936

Uh, okay.

Thank you, Mr. Gore.

00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,272

Thank you, class.

00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,732

Excelsior!

00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,905

[ Chuckling ]

00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,991

Check out this sweet move.

00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,826

Kyle, you can't block like that!

00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,411

Just play the game, fat-ass.

00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,620

Pass it to me, Cartman.

00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,290

Hang on. I'm gonna do

something super killer.

00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,710

God damn it!

Stop it, Kyle!

00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,421

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,510

All right.

Check it out.

00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,304

This is a total Kobe Bryant

I'm about to do.

00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,889

Just take a shot

or pass the ball, asshole!

00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:00,848

It's getting late!

00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,309

[ Music continues ]

00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,606

[ Chuckling ]

00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,275

Let's just see you get the ball

this time, Jew boy.

00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,860

Kyle, knock it off!

00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,156

STAN: Cartman stop hogging

the goddamn ball!

00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,158

Gwoooon!

00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,287

Don't worry.

It's not really ManBearPig.

00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,122

It's me -- Al Gore.

00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,916

We know.

00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:29,877

Dude, what are you doing?

00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,004

I'm spreading

ManBearPig awareness.

00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,466

Here. Each of you kids take a

pamphlet and a bumper sticker.

00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,888

I hope now you boys see

that this is totally cereal.

00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:44,808

The next time, it could be

the real ManBearPig.

00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,561

Can I just get you to sign

the awareness sheet?

00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,355

Just your name and phone number

00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,607

and where you first

heard about ManBearPig?

00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,608

Uh, Stan?

00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,151

Oh, hey, Dad.

00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,238

Hello.

00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,158

It's uh, getting late, boys.

00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,369

Why don't you get in the car

and I'll drive you all home.

00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,995

Okay, Mr. Marsh.

00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,247

Be safe.

00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,539

[ Engine starts ]

00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,594

Boys, I don't want you

hanging out

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055

with that ex-vice president

anymore, okay?

00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,390

Aw, he's all right, Dad.

00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,225

He was just trying to warn us

about ManBearPig.

00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,268

ManBearPig?

00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,061

He's half man and half bearpig.

00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,272

No, dude, he's half man,

half bear, and half pig.

00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,606

That doesn't make any sense.

00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,400

He could be half bear,

half manpig.

00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,319

Boys, there's no such thing

as a ManBearPig.

00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,989

The vice president is just

desperate for attention.

00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:41,740

But I feel kind of bad

for him, Dad.

00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,243

I don't think he has

any friends.

00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,078

[ Telephone ringing ]

00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,417

Hello?

00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,294

Hello.

This is Al Gore.

00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,503

Oh, man.

00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,046

Hi, Mr. Gore.

00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,215

- I was the vice president.

- I know.

00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,508

Can you and your friends make it

00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,011

to an emergency ManBearPig

meeting tomorrow morning?

00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,596

I have some evidence

he could be in this area.

00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:09,351

Look, I'm sorry,

but we're all kind of busy.

00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,563

[ Sadly ]

Oh. I get it.

00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,398

You don't believe me either.

00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,858

No, no.

It's not that.

00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,443

Yes, it is.

00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,944

Nobody believes me!

00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:22,823

I'm trying to warn everybody,

and nobody takes me cereal!

00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,744

[ Sobbing ]

00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,996

I just want somebody

in the world

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,790

to take me cereal just for once.

00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,625

[ Sobbing ]

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,169

It's okay, Mr. Gore.

00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,754

I-I believe you.

00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,505

No, you don't.

00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,507

Yeah. I'm sure ManBearPig

needs to be stopped.

00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,468

I'm just -- I'm just scared

00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,178

that I can't do anything

to stop him.

00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,473

[ Sniffles ]

Are you cereal?

00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,224

Yes, I'm cereal.

00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,310

Don't worry.

We can stop him!

00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,562

Bring everyone you can

to my ManBearPig meeting

00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,022

tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. sharp!

00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:56,023

[ Click, dial tone ]

00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,317

[ Birds chirping ]

00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,863

Dude, why are we going

to hang out with this guy?

00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:03,947

Mrph.

Mrph rmh rmphm.

00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,033

Come on, you guys. Al Gore

doesn't have any friends.

00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,786

We'll make an appearance at his

little meeting and we'll go.

00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,121

Hi, kids!

Come on in!

00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,874

Okay.

Let's get this meeting started.

00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,710

What do you kids think we

should do to stop ManBearPig?

00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,880

Yeah, you know, Mr. Gore,

my dad is a geologist,

00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,342

and he said that ManBearPig

probably isn't in Colorado.

00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,969

What does your dad look like?

00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:28,305

Does he have large hooves

where his feet should be?!

00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,348

No!

00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,433

Damn. For a minute there,

I thought we'd found him.

00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,685

Well, this was a great meeting,

wasn't it, guys?

00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,145

But we got to get going

to school now.

00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,314

- [Alarm chirping ]

- Oh, my God!

00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,982

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,526

ManBearPig screen active!

00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:41,527

[ Beeping ]

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:45,072

What is this area of Colorado?

It's a cave of some kind!

00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,533

Yeah, that's Cave of the Winds.

It's a tourist attraction.

00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,951

Oh, Jesus on ice skates,

00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,161

we've got to get down there

right away.

00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,956

- I don't think so, dude.

- Yeah, we've got school anyway.

00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,917

I can get you all excused

from school.

00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,920

You have that kind of power?

00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,713

Look, you boys have a chance

00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,008

to help me find and kill

ManBearPig once and for all.

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,677

I'm totally cereal!

00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,891

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Cave of the Winds.

00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,102

Our tour is going to take us

through two chambers

00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,480

of one of the most elaborate

cavern systems in Colorado.

00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,524

Before we get started,

I do understand

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,943

we have a special guest

in our group today --

00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,112

the ex-vice president,

Mr. Al Gore!

00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,412

Mr. Gore asked me to make sure

you all knew he was here.

00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,872

Now, once we enter the cave,

00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,915

we do ask you that you follow

two rules --

00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,501

stay on the path

and do not touch anything.

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,419

All right.

Are we ready?

00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:41,879

ALL:

Yeah!

00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,964

Let's go cavin'!

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633

Here we are in the main chamber

of the cave.

00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,677

It was discovered in 1892

00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,139

and first used as a hideout

for smugglers of the Old West.

00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,224

Have you noticed

high deposits of sulfur

00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,269

or a salmon-like odor

coming from the caves lately?

00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,354

Uh, no.

00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,898

Now, as you can see,

00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,734

the cave is filled with

stalagmites and stalactites.

00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,652

- Water drips from the...

- All right, kids.

00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,697

I need you to keep an eye out

for ManBearPig droppings.

00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,699

What do ManBearPig droppings

look like?

00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,536

Similar to pig droppings

but more manbear-like.

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,538

These rocks often make

interesting shapes,

00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,539

which we like to name.

00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,168

For instance, this one here

we named The Hanging Mushroom."

00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:26,715

And over here we have Man With

Helmet and Two Bowling Balls.

00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,176

And finally, of course,

The Two Sisters.

00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,888

Now, the cave itself

is millions of years old

00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,016

and has a constant temperature

of 57 degrees.

00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,392

Gwoooooon!

00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,686

Gwoooooon!

00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,899

Sir? Mr. Gore?

Is there a problem?

00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,860

- Not yet.

- All right, everyone.

00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,655

If you'll step this way, you'll

see how the cave gets its name.

00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,616

Kids! Kids, over here!

Look!

00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:53,450

What?

00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,327

I'll bet this is where

he's hiding.

00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,621

This looks like

ManBearPig central.

00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,373

Come on!

00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,583

Come on!

This is where ManBearPig is!

00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,044

I'm cereal!

00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,256

In certain areas of the cave,

the wind actually blows through,

00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,924

causing a sound you can hear.

00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,134

[ Wind whistling ]

00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,886

- Ahh!

- Ooh!

00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,222

Take a picture of the sound,

Steven.

00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,515

[ Shutter clicks ]

00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,934

Mr. Gore, I think we should

stay with the tour group.

00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:19,935

Wait!

Shh!

00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,770

[ Whistling in distance ]

00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,981

Christ, he's here!

00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:24,982

Take this rope!

00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,567

Be ready to tie him up!

00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,653

I've got you now,

you son of a bitch!

00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,614

What are you doing?

00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,116

- Oh, no!

- [ Rumbling ]

00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,827

- No!

- [ Boys screaming ]

00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,663

Leave them alone,

you goddamn ManBearPig!

00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,331

BOYS:

Help! Help!

00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,293

Damn you, ManBearPig!

They're just children!

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:49,089

Okay.

Everyone out of the cave now!

00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,174

[ Crowd screaming ]

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,551

Go! Go!

Move out!

00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,928

[All screaming ]

00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,930

Aaah!

00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,188

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,231

- KYLE: Hello?

- STAN: Help!

00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,232

We're trapped in here!

00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,735

Somebody get us!

We're trapped down here! Hello!

00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,445

- STAN: Help!

- Forget it!

00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,739

- They can't hear us.

- Mrph rmh rmhmhm rmh?

00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,616

You better get us out of here,

asshole!

00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:16,450

Me?

00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,243

You just had to go

and be nice to Al Gore!

00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,703

Now we're trapped in a cave!

00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,288

Maybe there's another way

out of here.

00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,205

Mrph rmhmhm.

00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,458

All right. Let's split up

and look for a passageway.

00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:27,002

Everyone take

a different direction.

00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,213

[ Grunting ]

00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,424

Oh, man.

We're in big trouble here.

00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,259

This is bullcrap.

00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,846

If I miss dinner,

I'm gonna be so pissed off.

00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,431

Aah!

00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,766

[ Grunts ]

00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,226

[ Coughs ]

God damn it!

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,200

KYLE:

You see anything, Kenny?

00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,951

KENNY:

Mrph rmh rm!

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,662

KYLE:

Cartman?

00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,498

Cartman, you see anything?

00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041

[ High-pitched voice ]

No, nothing. [ Clears throat ]

00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,127

[ Normal voice ] No.

Nothing here. Nothing this way.

00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,508

T-Treasure.

00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,760

KYLE: Cartman, you okay?

You need help?

00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,179

I'm fine!

This way's a d-dead end!

00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,639

Coming back to you now.

00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,016

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,312

It looks like we're

completely sealed in.

00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,313

Mrph rmh rmphm.

00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,315

There's a small passageway

about 200 yards over there.

00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,443

But it goes for a long,

long way, and it's pretty steep.

00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,237

Maybe we should go for it.

00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,697

You guys go on ahead.

00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,407

I'm gonna stay here,

wait it out.

00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,491

Why?

00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,410

I just --

I don't feel very good.

00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,869

I'll just weigh you guys down.

00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,663

Cartman's right --

First rule of survival

00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,164

is stay put

and wait to be rescued.

00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,416

No. It's okay.

You guys go on ahead.

00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,625

No.

We'll stay here, too.

00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,836

If we start wandering off,

we're gonna get lost or killed.

00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,046

Let's just wait here

and hope help comes soon.

00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,297

That's cool.

00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,842

I just -- I just wouldn't go

over there if I were you guys.

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,385

I just took a huge dump.

00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,220

Aw, dude!

00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,930

[ Police radio chatter ]

00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,226

The cave-in was massive and has

cut off all access in or out.

00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,813

The children are believed to be

trapped somewhere in this area.

00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,857

Does anybody know

who these kids are?

00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,442

No, nobody seems to know them,

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,026

only that they were

in the tour group.

00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,112

Digging to them

is gonna take days.

00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,030

Excuse me!

00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533

This cave-in was no accident,

00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,369

and it isn't going to stop

unless we move fast.

00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,748

I am superduper cereal.

00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,624

What do you mean?

The cave-in is over.

00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,086

I'm afraid you have a much

bigger problem than a cave-in.

00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,045

What's that?

00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,506

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,009

What is that?

A PigBearMan?

00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,761

No, stupid.

00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,096

It's ManBearPig.

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,390

I'm so hungry.

00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,350

Do you think people

even know we're here?

00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,102

They saw us on the tour.

00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,062

Dude, where do you keep going,

Cartman?

00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,440

I just need to keep taking

a crap.

00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,066

I've got diarrhea really bad.

00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,568

Dude, it's bad enough

we have to sit here

00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,153

without you taking a crap

every 10 minutes!

00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,613

Let's just try to sleep.

00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,990

Maybe help will come tomorrow.

00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,623

All that treasure.

00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,500

It's all mine!

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,628

So long as these greedy assholes

don't find out about it.

00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,129

You would all just love

00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,048

to get your hands

on my treasure, wouldn't you?

00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,090

Even though I found it,

00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,218

you'd love to think

it's somehow yours, too.

00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,677

God, I hate you guys.

00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,846

Especially you,

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,848

you money-grubbing

snake in the grass.

00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,185

Well, I've got news for you,

Kyle.

00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,479

You're never going to get

my treasure.

00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,105

I've got a little plan going

00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,734

to get the treasure out of here

without you ever knowing.

00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,778

C-Cartman?

00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,406

Oh. Hey, Kyle.

How's it going?

00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,492

Dude, what are you doing?

00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,160

Not much.

00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,204

You know, just hanging out.

00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,582

How you been, man?

Good?

00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,834

Dude, get away from me.

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,502

Yeah, it was nice talking

with you, Kyle.

00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,003

See you around.

00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,048

[ Police radio chatter ]

00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,634

Why won't anybody listen to me?

00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:03,969

ManBearPig is in there,

00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,179

and we have to kill him

while we all have the chance.

00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,639

I'm cereal!

00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,808

Mr. Gore, please.

We need you to calm down.

00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,018

Now, what exactly

do you suggest we do?

00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:15,480

I told you we need to fill

the cave with hot molten lead

00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,817

'cause it's the only way to make

sure ManBearPig never comes out!

00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,652

And I'm saying it,

and I'm totally cereal,

00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,571

but everyone just keeps digging!

00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,407

Well, see, the problem is that

if we fill the caves

00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,826

with hot molten lead,

it will kill those boys, too.

00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,287

They're already dead!

Didn't you listen to me?

00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,955

They got attacked by ManBearPig,

00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582

and ManBearPig

leaves nobody alive!

00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,125

I'm super cereal!

00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,169

And nobody will listen to me!

I'm cereal!

00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,380

[ Sobbing ]

00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,093

Do you want me to get the

ex-vice president out of here?

00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,220

Nah.

I-I feel kind of bad for him.

00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,306

I don't think

he has any friends.

00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,933

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,397

[ Chuckling ]

00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,899

All right.

Got to be strong.

00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,859

There's still a lot more

treasure to go.

00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,572

[ Gulping ]

00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,577

[ Gagging ]

00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,208

[ Gagging ]

00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,132

Dude, he's really sick.

00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,058

It's been three days since

four unidentified children

00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,726

were trapped in a cave-in.

00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,938

Three days without food, and

time is certainly running out.

00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,815

The digging continues,

but progress is fatally slow.

00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,151

All right, people.

We've got to work faster.

00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,487

Our best estimate still puts us

three days away

00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,948

from reaching the area of

the cave called Smuggler's Den.

00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,115

Smuggler's Den?

00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,742

I-It's a room near the end

of the tour

00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,244

where you can get your picture

taken with fake treasure.

00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,204

Here. See?

00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,708

Based on where the boys

were seen last,

00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,418

they're somewhere near

this area.

00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,545

Hopefully they've followed

the first rule of survival

00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172

and stayed put.

00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,675

Stan.

Stan, wake up!

00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,677

Huh? What?

Have they come for us?

00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,136

No, it's Cartman.

00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,514

Something's really wrong

with him.

00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,560

Blugh.

[ Coughing ]

00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,106

Oh, my God!

00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,441

Cartman!

Dude, can you hear me?!

00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,195

I'm fine.

Just a little --

00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,947

No big deal.

00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,782

[ Burping ]

00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,284

We can't wait here any longer.

00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,245

We got to get him out of here

or he's gonna die.

00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,162

How, dude?

00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,039

We don't even know if that

passage goes anywhere.

00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,542

Maybe we should head out first,

see if we can find a way out,

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,543

and then come back for him.

00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,669

No, don't!

00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,504

Don't leave me here,

you assholes.

00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922

Don't leave me here to die.

00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:48,299

[ Coughing ]

00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,303

[ Sirens wailing,

indistinct conversations ]

00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,723

[ Rope creaking ]

00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:57,017

[ Groaning ]

00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,186

[All grunting ]

00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,731

Come on!

Pull!

00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,482

God damn it, he's so heavy!

00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,651

[ Coughs ]

Hurry, you guys.

00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,361

You got to get me out of here.

00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,571

[ Grunting ]

00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,115

[ Farts, coins rattle ]

00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,617

- What the hell was that?

- Cartman?

00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,328

You guys, we got no time!

You got to get me out!

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,372

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,499

[ Metal creaking ]

00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,630

This is the end of you,

ManBearPig.

00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,058

Excelsior!

00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,560

[ Music continues ]

00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,359

Blugh.

[ Coughs ]

00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:49,736

Mrph rmhmhm rhm.

00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:52,322

I can't keep carrying him, dude.

I've got no strength.

00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,531

Yes, you do!

00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:54,991

[ Rumbling in distance ]

00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,409

What the hell is that?

00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,705

Oh, my God.

00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,083

Aah! Get me out of here!

Get me out of here, you guys!

00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,084

Run!

00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,211

[All screaming ]

00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,299

That's it.

Pull everyone out.

00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,842

There's nothing more we can do.

00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,344

You're calling off the rescue?

00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,679

We didn't plan on

a freak river flood.

00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,723

God must really want

those kids dead.

00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,350

What if the children

aren't dead?

00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,519

Look, the cavern

is completely flooded.

00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,187

Nothing could have survived.

00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,606

There's nothing left alive

down there.

00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,402

Nothing left alive.

00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:32,987

I did it.

00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,240

I killed ManBearPig.

00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,993

I've saved the earth

from certain destruction.

00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,287

Everyone is super stoked on me.

00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,331

Even if they don't know it.

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,376

[ Gasps ]

00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:49,379

[ Coughing ]

00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,173

Kenny, here!

Take my hand!

00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,592

Hurry, Kyle!

The water's rising!

00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,970

CARTMAN:

[ Coughing ]

00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,472

Cartman...you've got to swim!

00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,765

Kick with your legs!

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,308

[ Coughs ]

I can't kick!

00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,518

Yes, you can!

00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,228

I can't kick!

You just have to save me!

00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,689

- I need your help!

- No, you just have to save me!

00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,816

[ Grunting ]

00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:14,028

STAN:

Kyle, no!

00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,490

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,243

We are gathered here

to say goodbye

00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,912

to four kids

whom we all tried to help

00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,831

but in the end could not.

00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,500

But where there is loss,

there is hope.

00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,086

For ManBearPig is no more.

00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,213

Oh, Jesus.

Here we go again.

00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,382

I have beaten ManBearPig,

00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,342

and we will never forget

the names

00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,846

of the brave young kids

who lost their lives --

00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:44,767

kid one...kid two...kid three...

00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,729

and, of course, kid four.

00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,232

I remember how kid one

used to laugh and play

00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,902

and how kid two was always there

when I needed him.

00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,778

- [ Grunts ]

- Oh, my God!

00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,865

[ Grunting ]

00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,909

It's the kids!

They're alive!

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,077

[ Grunting ]

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,914

Kids!

I saved you!

00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,874

Just stay away from us, asshole!

00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,168

I was nice to you

because I felt sorry for you

00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,628

because you don't have

any friends!

00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,671

But now I see why

you don't have any friends!

00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,841

You just use ManBearPig as a way

to get attention for yourself

00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,384

because you're a loser!

00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,511

Yeah, right.

00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,973

The man who single-handedly

killed ManBearPig is a loser.

00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,934

[ Groaning ]

00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,478

We need to get our friend

to a hospital right away!

00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:29,896

No!

No, I'm fine.

00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,023

I just need to get home

and rest.

00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,983

Cartman, seriously,

you need to see a doctor!

00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,319

No!

I just need to get to a toilet.

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,154

See you guys.

I--

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,197

Ha-ba --

00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,409

Ha-ba-a-a-a-a-a-a!

[ Farting ]

00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,827

Aah!

00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,792

[ Birds chirping ]

00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,629

Dude, did Cartman

just crap treasure?

00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,590

It's mine!

It's mine! You hear me?

00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,634

I got it out of the cave!

It belongs to me!

00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,177

Keep your greedy hands away!

00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,304

Hey, that looks like

the fake treasure

00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,139

from our Smuggler's Den

photo room.

00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,975

That's right, and I --

00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:07,976

Fake treasure?

00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,895

Yeah. We put it there for kids

to take their picture with.

00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,190

All in all, I'd say that

treasure is worth about $14.

00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,275

No.

00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,484

No!

00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,986

[ Farts ]

Aah!

00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,028

Ow!

00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,531

You made us pull you to safety

because you ate treasure?

00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:22,824

You son of a bitch!

00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,575

Don't you think

I'm hurting enough, Kyle?

00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,994

Ow! Ow!

[ Farts ]

00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,036

Ow!

00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,080

Well, my work here is done.

00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,790

I've killed MBP,

00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,418

and now I must save the world

from something else.

00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,169

Maybe I'll make a movie.

00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,921

A movie starring me.

00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:39,924

Then people will take me

super cereal.

00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:41,801

Excelsior!

00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,221

Aah!

[ Farts ]