Челмедведосвин — Друзья застревают в Пещере ветров из-за попыток Альберта Гора убить «Челмедведосвина» — выдуманное существо, с помощью которого вице-президент старается добиться внимания.

Предыдущая серия S10 E05 Миллион маленьких волокон

Следующая серия S10 E07 Цццт

Челмедведосвин

Manbearpig

Сезон: 10Серия: 06

Описание

Друзья застревают в Пещере ветров из-за попыток Альберта Гора убить «Челмедведосвина» — выдуманное существо, с помощью которого вице-президент старается добиться внимания.

Субтитры

00:00:29,593 --> 00:00:32,583 <b>Перевод и тайминг: Matr!XER Скачано с southpark.org.ru</b>
00:00:33,096 --> 00:00:35,586 <b>S10E06 - Челведьсвин</b>
00:00:36,183 --> 00:00:40,395 <i>М'так, ученики, сегодня у нас выступает очень важный гость.</i>
00:00:40,395 --> 00:00:40,453 Кто может назвать мне имя прошлого вице-президента нашей страны? <i>М'так, ученики, сегодня у нас выступает очень важный гость.</i>
00:00:40,453 --> 00:00:44,105 Кто может назвать мне имя прошлого вице-президента нашей страны?
00:00:45,275 --> 00:00:45,895 <b>Дик Чейни?</b>
00:00:46,245 --> 00:00:47,255 <i>Нет, прошлого.</i>
00:00:47,735 --> 00:00:48,705 <b>Билл Клинтон?</b>
00:00:49,285 --> 00:00:51,385 <i>Нет, заместителя Клинтона.</i>
00:00:52,655 --> 00:00:57,495 Сегодня он здесь, чтобы поговорить с вами о некоторых очень серьезных проблемах.
00:00:57,655 --> 00:00:58,975 Пожалуйста, поприветствуйте
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,475 <b>Ал Гора!</b>
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:05,235 Кого?
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,955 Спасибо, мистер Мэки, учащиеся Начальной Школы Саут-Парка...
00:01:09,395 --> 00:01:13,875 Я здесь, чтобы поведать вам о самой большой угрозе нашей планете.
00:01:14,305 --> 00:01:18,825 Видите ли, есть нечто, угрожающее самому нашему существованию
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:22,565 и способное стать концом человеческой расы, как мы ее знаем.
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,705 Я говорю, конечно же, о...
00:01:24,705 --> 00:01:26,705 Челведьсвине.
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:29,625 Челведьсвине?
00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,495 Это существо, которое скитает по Земле в одиночестве.
00:01:33,495 --> 00:01:33,995 Оно
00:01:33,995 --> 00:01:35,005 <i>получеловек</i>
00:01:35,005 --> 00:01:36,805 <i>полумедведь</i>
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,805 <i>и полусвинья.</i>
00:01:39,535 --> 00:01:43,325 <i>Есть люди, которые говорят, что Челведьсвин ненастоящий.</i>
00:01:43,485 --> 00:01:47,835 <i>Итак, я здесь, чтобы вы знали, что Челведьсвин очень настоящий</i>
00:01:47,965 --> 00:01:50,475 <i>и он более чем существует.</i>
00:01:50,605 --> 00:01:52,265 <i>Я серильезен.</i>
00:01:52,495 --> 00:01:55,955 Челведьсвина не волнует, кто ты такой и что ты сделал.
00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:58,945 Челведьсвин просто хочет схватить тебя!
00:01:59,095 --> 00:02:01,625 <i>Я суперсерильезен.</i>
00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:08,365 Но не бойтесь, потому что я здесь, чтобы спасти вас!
00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:12,075 И однажды, когда мир избавится от Челведьсвина,
00:02:12,225 --> 00:02:15,385 все скажут: "Спасибо, Ал Гор.
00:02:15,505 --> 00:02:17,685 <i>Ты - суперкрутой!".</i>
00:02:18,215 --> 00:02:19,165 <b>КОНЕЦ.</b>
00:02:21,165 --> 00:02:24,825 Хооорошо, спасибо вам, мистер Гор.
00:02:24,975 --> 00:02:26,345 Спасибо вам, класс.
00:02:26,775 --> 00:02:28,515 Excelsior!
00:02:35,425 --> 00:02:36,585 Зацени вот это прикольное движение.
00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:39,035 Кайл, нельзя так блокировать!
00:02:39,455 --> 00:02:40,775 Да просто играй, жиртрест.
00:02:40,905 --> 00:02:41,775 Пасуй мне, Картмэн!
00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:43,875 Подожди, я сейчас сделаю что-нибудь суперкрутое.
00:02:45,975 --> 00:02:47,475 Блин, прекрати уже, Кайл!
00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:58,375 Ладно, зацени теперь. Я сделаю точно как Коби Брайант.
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,895 Просто кинь мяч или пасни, кретин! Уже темнеет!
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,345 Посмотрим, кто останется с мячом на этот раз, жидяра!
00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:13,005 Кайл, не так быстро!
00:03:15,575 --> 00:03:17,275 Картмэн, хватит уже держать гребаный мяч!
00:03:20,955 --> 00:03:23,595 Не волнуйтесь, это на самом деле не Челведьсвин.
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,575 Это я, Ал Гор.
00:03:26,515 --> 00:03:27,015 Мы в курсе.
00:03:29,295 --> 00:03:30,005 Чувак, ты че делаешь?
00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:32,435 Я разношу информацию о Челведьсвине.
00:03:32,575 --> 00:03:35,585 Вот, каждый из вас, возьмите буклет и наклейку на бампер.
00:03:35,785 --> 00:03:37,485 "Мы должны ВСЕ остановить Челведьсвина"
00:03:37,655 --> 00:03:41,045 <i>Надеюсь, теперь вы понимаете, что это все абсолютно серильезно.</i>
00:03:41,175 --> 00:03:44,545 <i>В следующий раз это может быть уже настоящий Челведьсвин.</i>
00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:47,755 Можешь заполнить информационный лист?
00:03:48,055 --> 00:03:51,565 Только твое имя, телефонный номер и где ты первый раз услышал о Челведьсвине.
00:03:51,975 --> 00:03:52,665 О, Стэн?
00:03:52,975 --> 00:03:53,665 О, привет, пап.
00:03:55,995 --> 00:03:56,555 Здравствуйте.
00:03:59,265 --> 00:04:01,225 Уже темнеет, ребята.
00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,525 Почему бы вам не забраться в машину, и я тогда вас всех отвезу по домам?
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:04,775 Хорошо, мистер Марш.
00:04:05,685 --> 00:04:06,665 Берегите себя.
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:23,505 Ребята, я не хочу чтобы вы больше таскались с этим бывшим вице-президентом, ладно?
00:04:23,635 --> 00:04:26,325 А, да с ним все порядке, пап. Он просто пытался предупредить нас о Челведьсвине.
00:04:26,445 --> 00:04:27,485 Челведьсвине?
00:04:27,585 --> 00:04:29,085 Он получеловек и полусвинведь.
00:04:29,325 --> 00:04:31,695 Неа, он получеловек, полумедведь и полусвинья.
00:04:31,825 --> 00:04:32,935 Да без разницы.
00:04:33,085 --> 00:04:34,685 Он может быть полумедведем, получелсвином.
00:04:34,835 --> 00:04:37,475 Ребят, не существует никакого Челведьсвина.
00:04:37,605 --> 00:04:40,295 Вице-президент просто отчаянно добивается внимания к себе.
00:04:40,465 --> 00:04:43,635 Но мне его жалко, пап. Не думаю, что у него есть друзья.
00:04:51,005 --> 00:04:51,405 Алле?
00:04:51,505 --> 00:04:53,475 Алле, это Ал Гор.
00:04:53,615 --> 00:04:54,615 Вот блин...
00:04:54,735 --> 00:04:56,205 Привет, мистер Гор.
00:04:56,335 --> 00:04:57,765 Я был вице-президентом.
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:58,565 Я в курсе.
00:04:58,695 --> 00:05:02,355 Можешь со своими друзьями завтрашним утром добраться до чрезвычайного Челведьсвин-совещания?
00:05:02,485 --> 00:05:04,545 У меня есть улики, что он где-то неподалеку.
00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:07,825 Извини, но мы все типа заняты.
00:05:11,235 --> 00:05:14,575 Я понимаю. Ты тоже мне не веришь.
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:15,975 Нет, нет, это не так.
00:05:16,075 --> 00:05:17,505 Да, это так.
00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:19,515 Никто не верит мне!
00:05:19,665 --> 00:05:23,455 Я пытаюсь предупредить всех и никто не воспринимает меня серильезно!
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:32,225 Я просто хочу, чтобы кто-нибудь хоть раз воспринял меня серильезно.
00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:36,975 Х-хорошо, мистер Гор. Я, я верю вам.
00:05:37,155 --> 00:05:38,735 Нет, не веришь.
00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:41,105 Да, я уверен что Челведьсвина нужно остановить.
00:05:41,265 --> 00:05:44,675 Я просто... я просто боюсь, что не могу ничего сделать, чтобы остановить его.
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,415 Ты серильезен?
00:05:48,255 --> 00:05:49,525 Да, я серильезен.
00:05:49,645 --> 00:05:51,655 Не волнуйся! Мы МОЖЕМ остановить его!
00:05:51,745 --> 00:05:55,635 Приведи всех кого сумеешь на мое Челведьсвин-совещание завтра ровно в 8 утра!
00:06:01,505 --> 00:06:03,275 Чел, а зачем нам тусоваться с этим парнем?
00:06:04,455 --> 00:06:06,335 Да ладно вам, пацаны, у Ал Гора нет друзей.
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:09,015 Мы всего лишь ненадолго появимся на его маленьком совещании и затем уйдем.
00:06:09,175 --> 00:06:11,085 Привет, дети! Заходите!
00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:14,255 Хорошо, давайте начнем наше совещание.
00:06:14,405 --> 00:06:16,835 Что, по-вашему, мы должны сделать, чтобы остановить Челведьсвина?
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:18,835 Да, знаете, мистер Гор,
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,845 мой папа - геолог и он сказал,
00:06:20,985 --> 00:06:23,595 что Челведьсвин, скорее всего, не в Колорадо.
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:25,975 Как выглядит твой папа?
00:06:26,105 --> 00:06:28,555 У него здоровые копыта там, где должны быть ступни?
00:06:28,715 --> 00:06:29,115 НЕТ.
00:06:29,615 --> 00:06:31,485 Черт, а я уже было думал, что мы нашли его.
00:06:31,605 --> 00:06:33,765 Что ж, это было отличное совещание. Так ведь, ребят?
00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:35,625 Но нам уже пора возвращаться в школу.
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:37,585 Боже мой!
00:06:39,435 --> 00:06:40,915 Активировать Челведьсвин-экран!
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,475 Что это за место в Колорадо? Это какая-то пещера?
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:47,875 Да, это Пещера Ветров, место паломничества туристов.
00:06:48,015 --> 00:06:50,935 О, Господи ты мой Иисусе, нам надо немедленно отправиться туда.
00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:52,565 Не, я вот так не думаю, чел.
00:06:52,565 --> 00:06:54,265 Да, нам по-любому надо в школу.
00:06:54,405 --> 00:06:56,355 Я могу отпросить вас от школы.
00:06:58,445 --> 00:06:58,745 Ты...
00:06:58,845 --> 00:07:00,135 обладаешь такой силой?
00:07:00,255 --> 00:07:05,355 Ребята, у вас есть шанс помочь мне найти и убить Челведьсвина раз и навсегда.
00:07:05,515 --> 00:07:07,165 Я абсолютно серильезен!
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:13,165 Приветствую всех, добро пожаловать в Пещеру Ветров.
00:07:13,285 --> 00:07:15,435 Во время нашей экскурсии вы посетите две части
00:07:15,585 --> 00:07:18,775 одной из самых аккуратных пещерных систем в Колорадо.
00:07:18,895 --> 00:07:22,675 Перед тем, как мы начнем, как я понимаю, у нас сегодня в группе особо важный гость:
00:07:22,815 --> 00:07:25,605 бывший вице-президент, мистер Ал Гор.
00:07:31,175 --> 00:07:33,805 Мистер Гор попросил меня убедиться в том, что вы все знаете о его присутствии.
00:07:33,945 --> 00:07:37,155 Теперь, как только мы войдем в пещеру, вы должны следовать двум правилам:
00:07:37,305 --> 00:07:39,625 не сходить с тропинки и ничего не трогать.
00:07:39,755 --> 00:07:40,665 Готовы?
00:07:40,855 --> 00:07:42,065 ДА!
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:44,405 Начинаем!
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:49,075 И вот мы в главной части пещеры; ее открыли в 1892 году,
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:52,535 и она в начале использовалась как убежище для контрабандистов с Дикого Запада.
00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:57,455 Вы обратили внимание на большие залежи серы или похожий на лососину запах, исходящие из пещер в последнее время?
00:07:58,925 --> 00:07:59,835 Нет.
00:08:00,265 --> 00:08:04,015 Как вы видите, пещера переполнена сталагмитами и сталактитами.
00:08:04,175 --> 00:08:05,305 Вода капает с пещерных...
00:08:05,305 --> 00:08:09,145 Хорошо, дети. Мне нужно, чтобы вы высматривали Челведьсвинный помет.
00:08:09,275 --> 00:08:10,915 А как выглядит Челведьсвинный помет?
00:08:11,065 --> 00:08:14,175 Он ближе к свиному помету, но более челведий.
00:08:15,325 --> 00:08:17,555 Эти камни зачастую образуют интересные формы, которым мы любим давать имена.
00:08:17,685 --> 00:08:22,105 Например, вот этот мы назвали "Висячий Гриб".
00:08:23,565 --> 00:08:26,785 А вот здесь у нас "Мужчина с шлемом и двумя катающимися шарами".
00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:31,175 И в заключение, конечно же, "Две сестрички".
00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:36,255 Сейчас самой пещере уже несколько миллионов лет и постоянная температура в ней порядка 57 градусов.
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,215 Сэр? Мистер Гор? Какая-то проблема?
00:08:45,115 --> 00:08:46,145 Еще нет.
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:50,105 Хорошо, если вы все пойдете по этому пути, то увидите, как пещера получила свое имя.
00:08:51,035 --> 00:08:53,425 Дети, дети! Здесь, посмотрите.
00:08:53,555 --> 00:08:54,165 Что?
00:08:54,305 --> 00:08:55,365 Полагаю, это место, где он прячется.
00:08:55,695 --> 00:08:57,885 Выглядит как Челведьсвинный командный пункт.
00:08:58,025 --> 00:08:58,715 Идем!
00:09:00,315 --> 00:09:02,865 Идем! Это место, где находится Челведьсвин! Я серильезен!
00:09:05,135 --> 00:09:07,485 В некоторых местах пещеры дует ветер
00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:09,495 и вы слышите этот звук.
00:09:13,485 --> 00:09:16,005 Сфотографируй звук, Стивен.
00:09:17,255 --> 00:09:19,375 Мистер Гор, я думаю, нам лучше оставаться с нашей экскурсионной группой.
00:09:19,385 --> 00:09:20,595 Подожди, тихо!
00:09:22,775 --> 00:09:23,895 Боже! Он здесь!
00:09:24,495 --> 00:09:26,955 Возьми этот канат! Будь готов связать его!
00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:29,405 Теперь я поймал тебя, сукин сын!
00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:32,755 Ты че делаешь?!
00:09:33,175 --> 00:09:34,225 О, нет!
00:09:34,385 --> 00:09:37,125 Нет!
00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:39,915 Оставь их, гребаный Челведьсвин!
00:09:41,995 --> 00:09:44,635 Чтоб тебя, Челведьсвин! Они еще дети!
00:09:45,605 --> 00:09:48,945 Ладно, все, выходите из пещеры. Сейчас же!
00:09:52,005 --> 00:09:53,685 Уходим, уходим!
00:10:06,044 --> 00:10:06,634 Помогите!
00:10:06,764 --> 00:10:06,984 Мы в западне здесь!
00:10:06,984 --> 00:10:07,474 Кто-нибудь, помогите нам выбраться отсюда! Мы в западне здесь!
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,874 Кто-нибудь, помогите нам выбраться отсюда!
00:10:09,224 --> 00:10:10,966 Эй, помогите! Помогите!
00:10:10,966 --> 00:10:11,164 Забей! Они не могут услышать нас. Эй, помогите! Помогите!
00:10:11,164 --> 00:10:12,336 Забей! Они не могут услышать нас.
00:10:13,886 --> 00:10:15,476 Лучше ты вытащишь нас отсюда, засранец!
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:16,276 Я?
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,206 Это ты решил пойти с Ал Гором и быть с ним вежливым! И теперь мы в западне в пещере!
00:10:19,616 --> 00:10:20,876 Возможно, есть другой путь выбраться отсюда.
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:24,526 Ладно, давайте разделимся и поищем выход.
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,306 Все пойдут по разным путям.
00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:32,736 Блин, мы серьезно попали с этим.
00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:37,066 Вот дерьмо! Был бы я худым, уже бы совсем задолбался!
00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:43,106 Блин!
00:10:48,246 --> 00:10:51,196 "Логово контрабанды"
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:57,926 Что-нибудь видишь, Кенни?
00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:00,856 Картмэн?
00:11:02,106 --> 00:11:03,876 Картмэн, видишь что-нибудь?
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,576 Ньне, нни...
00:11:06,116 --> 00:11:07,476 Нет, ничего.
00:11:07,596 --> 00:11:08,776 Нет, ничего тут нет!
00:11:11,596 --> 00:11:13,776 С-Сокровище.
00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:16,036 Картмэн, ты в порядке? Нужна помощь?
00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:18,586 Со мной все хорошо! Здесь тупик!
00:11:18,706 --> 00:11:20,406 Уже возвращаюсь к вам!
00:11:25,426 --> 00:11:26,936 Похоже, мы засыпаны со всех сторон.
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:32,756 В 200 ярдах отсюда есть небольшой проход, но путь до него очень длинный и довольно крутой.
00:11:33,346 --> 00:11:34,706 Может нам стоит пойти туда.
00:11:35,456 --> 00:11:37,826 Пацаны, вы лучше двигайтесь дальше. А я останусь здесь и пережду.
00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:39,636 Почему?
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,756 Я просто... я, я себя не очень хорошо чувствую. Я, я буду для вас обузой.
00:11:42,756 --> 00:11:45,866 Картмэн прав. Первое правило выживания - оставаться на месте и ждать спасения.
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,396 Не, все хорошо. Пацаны, идите дальше.
00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:48,496 Нет, мы останемся здесь тоже.
00:11:48,636 --> 00:11:50,556 Если будем бродить здесь, то потеряемся или умрем.
00:11:50,696 --> 00:11:52,786 Давайте подождем здесь и понадеемся, что помощь не заставит себя ждать.
00:11:53,386 --> 00:11:54,826 Круто. Только я...
00:11:54,996 --> 00:11:56,606 Только я бы на вашем месте ушел отсюда.
00:11:56,756 --> 00:11:58,156 Я только что наложил большую кучу.
00:11:58,456 --> 00:11:59,706 Блин, чел!
00:12:01,996 --> 00:12:06,046 Обвал был большим. Он отрубил весь доступ и снаружи, и изнутри.
00:12:06,196 --> 00:12:09,286 Дети, надеюсь, в западне где-нибудь в этой области.
00:12:09,876 --> 00:12:11,756 Кто-нибудь знает, кто эти дети?
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:13,136 Нет, никто вроде ничего не знает о них.
00:12:13,296 --> 00:12:15,156 Только то, что они были в экскурсионной группе.
00:12:15,156 --> 00:12:16,916 Раскопки займут много времени.
00:12:17,056 --> 00:12:18,996 Простите, простите.
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:21,196 Этот обвал не был несчастным случаем,
00:12:21,346 --> 00:12:24,366 и он не прекратится, пока мы не ускоримся!
00:12:24,516 --> 00:12:25,746 <i>Я супер</i>
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:26,546 <i>дупер</i>
00:12:26,616 --> 00:12:27,046 <i>серильезен!</i>
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,306 Что вы имеете в виду? Обвал прекратился.
00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:32,696 Я боюсь, у нас есть проблема серьезнее, чем обвал.
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:33,946 Какая проблема?
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,786 Это что, Cвинведьчел?
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:42,286 Нет, тупица! Это Челведьсвин!
00:12:43,756 --> 00:12:45,186 Я тааак голоден.
00:12:45,336 --> 00:12:46,856 Думаете, они хотя бы знают, что мы здесь?
00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:48,436 Они видели нас на экскурсии.
00:12:49,356 --> 00:12:50,826 Картмэн, ты куда все ходишь?
00:12:50,976 --> 00:12:54,576 Мне нужно просираться. У меня понос.
00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:57,666 Чел, было бы не так хреново, если бы ты не ходил срать каждые десять минут!
00:12:57,806 --> 00:13:00,516 Давайте попробуем заснуть. Может быть, помощь придет завтра.
00:13:07,476 --> 00:13:11,166 Все это сокровище. Оно все мое!
00:13:11,336 --> 00:13:14,776 До тех пор пока эти жадные уроды не прознают о нем!
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:18,056 Вы бы были рады заполучить мое сокровище, так ведь?
00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:21,066 Даже после того, как я нашел его, вы бы были рады думать, что оно и ваше тоже!
00:13:21,236 --> 00:13:23,166 Боже, я ненавижу вас, пацаны!
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,956 Особенно тебя, жадный до денег змееныш!
00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:30,326 Что же, у меня новость для тебя, Кайл!
00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:32,516 Ты никогда не получишь мое сокровище.
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:33,846 У меня есть небольшой план,
00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:37,086 как вытащить сокровище отсюда, чтобы ты никогда не узнал о нем.
00:13:38,266 --> 00:13:39,996 К-Картмэн?
00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:43,176 О, привет, Кайл. Как дела?
00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:45,466 Чел, ты че делаешь?
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:46,836 Ничего особенного.
00:13:46,996 --> 00:13:49,066 Знаешь, просто ошиваюсь поблизости.
00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:52,906 Как сам? Хорошо?
00:13:53,046 --> 00:13:54,096 Чел, слезь с меня!
00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:56,456 Да. Приятно поговорить с тобой, Кайл. Увидимся.
00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:02,916 Почему меня никто не слушает?
00:14:03,046 --> 00:14:05,096 Челведьсвин здесь и мы должны убить его,
00:14:05,216 --> 00:14:07,736 пока есть шанс. Я серильезен!
00:14:07,886 --> 00:14:10,096 Мистер Гор, пожалуйста, успокойтесь.
00:14:10,236 --> 00:14:12,376 Итак, что именно вы предлагаете нам делать?
00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:15,376 Я говорил, что нам нужно наполнить пещеру горячим расплавленным свинцом,
00:14:15,536 --> 00:14:18,936 ведь это единственный способ убедиться что Челведьсвин никогда не вылезет из нее!
00:14:19,086 --> 00:14:20,676 И я в здравом уме, и я абсолютно серильезен,
00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:22,546 но все лишь продолжают копать!
00:14:22,686 --> 00:14:26,326 Понимаете, проблема в том, что если мы наполним пещеру горячим расплавленным свинцом,
00:14:26,556 --> 00:14:27,946 мы убьем и мальчиков тоже.
00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:29,866 Они уже мертвы! Вы меня что, не слушаете??
00:14:30,016 --> 00:14:32,166 Их атаковал Челведьсвин,
00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:35,356 а Челведьсвин никого не оставляет живым! Я суперсерильезен!!
00:14:35,496 --> 00:14:38,316 Никто меня не слушает, но я серильезен!
00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:45,446 Может мне убрать бывшего вице-президента отсюда?
00:14:45,596 --> 00:14:49,316 Не, мне его жалко. Не думаю, что у него есть друзья.
00:14:57,566 --> 00:15:01,186 Ладно, я должен быть сильным. Еще осталось сокровище.
00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:23,826 Чел, ему в самом деле хреново.
00:15:30,226 --> 00:15:34,536 Прошло три дня с тех пор, как четверо неизвестных детей попали в ловушку после завала.
00:15:34,986 --> 00:15:37,716 Три дня без еды - и время, само собой, на исходе.
00:15:38,156 --> 00:15:40,876 Раскопки продолжаются, но продвижение фатально медленное.
00:15:41,366 --> 00:15:43,336 Итак, все, мы должны работать быстрее!
00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:45,486 В лучшем случае осталось три дня того, как мы доберемся
00:15:45,616 --> 00:15:48,136 до места в пещере "Логово контрабанды".
00:15:48,296 --> 00:15:49,136 "Логово контрабанды"?
00:15:49,396 --> 00:15:51,136 Это комната посещается ближе к концу экскурсии.
00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:53,126 В ней можно сфотографироваться с фальшивым сокровищем.
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,256 Вот, смотрите.
00:15:56,996 --> 00:15:59,156 Судя по тому, где последний раз видели мальчиков,
00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:00,546 они где-то в этой области!
00:16:00,696 --> 00:16:03,956 Будем надеяться, что они последовали первому правилу выживания и остались на месте.
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,836 Стэн! Стэн, очнись!
00:16:07,736 --> 00:16:08,826 Что? Они пришли за нами?
00:16:08,976 --> 00:16:11,736 Нет, я про Картмэна. С ним реально что-то не так.
00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:21,276 Боже мой...
00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:23,526 Картмэн? Чел, ты меня слышишь?
00:16:23,686 --> 00:16:26,276 Я в порядке. Просто немно...
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:29,306 Неважно.
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,556 Мы не можем больше их ждать!
00:16:33,696 --> 00:16:35,406 Нам надо выбираться отсюда или мы умрем.
00:16:35,586 --> 00:16:36,016 Но как?
00:16:36,156 --> 00:16:38,196 Мы даже не мо... не знаем, ведет ли этот проход куда-либо.
00:16:38,356 --> 00:16:39,656 Возможно, нам стоит сначала выбраться отсюда,
00:16:39,786 --> 00:16:41,646 посмотреть, сможем ли найти выход и уже тогда вернуться за ним.
00:16:41,806 --> 00:16:44,246 НЕТ! Не оставляйте меня одного, кретины!
00:16:44,946 --> 00:16:46,546 Не оставляйте меня здесь умирать.
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,564 Давай, давай, тащи!
00:17:02,754 --> 00:17:04,544 Блин, он такой тяжелый!
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:06,564 Поторопитесь, пацаны.
00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,244 Вы должны вытащить меня отсюда.
00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:14,684 Что это за фигня была? Картмэн?
00:17:14,854 --> 00:17:17,044 Пацаны, у нас нет времени! Вытащите меня отсюда!
00:17:24,524 --> 00:17:27,034 Пришел твой конец, Челведьсвин!
00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:37,974 Excelsior!
00:17:49,664 --> 00:17:52,224 Я не могу больше его держать! У меня нет сил!
00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:53,404 Нет, ты можешь!
00:17:55,184 --> 00:17:56,504 А это что за фигня?
00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:00,854 Бог мой...
00:18:00,854 --> 00:18:03,434 Нет! Дайте мне выбраться отсюда, пацаны!
00:18:03,564 --> 00:18:05,084 Беееги!
00:18:09,844 --> 00:18:12,974 Уходите отсюда! Мы больше ничего не можем поделать!
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:14,394 Вы отзываете спасателей?
00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:16,514 Мы не ожидали затопления с реки.
00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:18,884 Господь видимо действительно хочет смерти этих детей.
00:18:19,024 --> 00:18:20,394 А что, если дети не умерли?
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:23,824 Пещера полностью затоплена. Никто не мог выжить.
00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:25,934 Там больше никого не осталось в живых.
00:18:28,864 --> 00:18:31,584 Никого не осталось в живых...
00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:32,824 Я сделал это.
00:18:32,974 --> 00:18:35,274 Я убил Челведьсвина.
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:38,084 Я спас Землю от неминуемого разрушения.
00:18:38,864 --> 00:18:41,264 Все в восторге от меня,
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,134 даже если они не знают об этом.
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,774 Кенни! Кенни, держись за руку!
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,844 Быстрее, Кайл, уровень воды поднимается!
00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,444 Картмэн! Ты должен сам плыть!
00:18:59,554 --> 00:19:01,364 Двигай своими ногами!
00:19:01,454 --> 00:19:02,064 Я не могу двигать!
00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:03,434 Нет, можешь!
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:05,034 Не могу! Сам двигай, чтобы спастись!
00:19:05,074 --> 00:19:06,164 Но мне нужна твоя помощь!
00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,004 Нет, тебе нужно только спасти меня.
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,574 Кайл, нет!
00:19:17,804 --> 00:19:22,944 Мы собрались здесь, чтобы попрощаться с четырьмя детьми, которым мы все пытались помочь,
00:19:23,064 --> 00:19:24,884 но, в конце концов, не смогли.
00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:27,134 Но где потеря, там и надежда.
00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,984 Надежда, что больше не будет Челведьсвина.
00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:32,204 Господи, только не снова.
00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:34,314 Я победил Челведьсвина,
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:39,194 и мы никогда не забудем имена храбрых детей, которые погибли.
00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:41,104 Ребенок 1.
00:19:41,274 --> 00:19:42,744 Ребенок 2.
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,514 Ребенок 3.
00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:47,564 И, конечно же, Ребенок 4.
00:19:47,814 --> 00:19:50,534 Я все еще помню, как Ребенок 1 смеялся и играл.
00:19:51,654 --> 00:19:54,494 И как Ребенок 2 всегда был там, где я в нем нуждался.
00:19:54,634 --> 00:19:56,144 Боже!
00:19:58,894 --> 00:19:59,734 Это дети!
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:00,834 Они живы!
00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:05,624 Дети, я спас вас!
00:20:05,774 --> 00:20:07,734 Отвали от нас, урод!
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,534 Я был вежлив с тобой, жалел тебя, потому что у тебя нет друзей!
00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:13,204 А теперь я понимаю, ПОЧЕМУ у тебя нет друзей!
00:20:13,324 --> 00:20:16,214 Ты лишь использовал Челведьсвина, чтобы привлечь к себе внимание,
00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:18,414 потому что ты - неудачник!
00:20:19,544 --> 00:20:23,854 Да, правда. Человек, который собственноручно убил Челведьсвина, - неудачник.
00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:28,034 Нашего друга нужно отвезти в больницу немедленно!
00:20:28,384 --> 00:20:29,464 Нет! Нет, со мной все хорошо.
00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,764 Мне только надо вернуться домой и отдохнуть.
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,674 Картмэн, серьезно, ты должен показаться врачу!
00:20:34,014 --> 00:20:36,204 Нет! Мне просто надо добраться до туалета.
00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:37,904 Увидимся, пацаны.
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:54,544 Чел, Картмэн только что высрал сокровище?
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,534 Оно мое! Оно мое, слышите меня?!
00:20:57,794 --> 00:20:59,404 Я вынес его из пещеры, и оно принадлежит мне!
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,254 Держите свои жадные ручонки подальше!
00:21:01,444 --> 00:21:04,964 Эй, оно выглядит как фальшивое сокровише из нашей фото-комнаты "Логово контрабанды".
00:21:05,044 --> 00:21:06,504 Это так, и я...
00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:07,594 Фальшивое сокровище?
00:21:07,814 --> 00:21:10,344 Да, мы его положили там, чтобы дети фотографировались с ним.
00:21:10,674 --> 00:21:14,014 В целом это сокровище стоит порядка 40 долларов.
00:21:14,094 --> 00:21:17,904 Нет... НЕЕЕТ! НЕТ!
00:21:18,884 --> 00:21:21,554 Ты заставил нас беспокоиться о твоей безопасности из-за фальшивого сокровища?!
00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:22,734 Сукин сын!
00:21:22,884 --> 00:21:24,434 Не думаешь ли ты, что я и так настрадался достаточно, Кайл?
00:21:27,334 --> 00:21:29,234 Что же, моя работа здесь завершена.
00:21:29,384 --> 00:21:33,254 Я убил ЧВС, и теперь настал черед спасти мир от чего-нибудь другого.
00:21:33,514 --> 00:21:35,064 Может быть мне снять фильм?
00:21:35,184 --> 00:21:36,954 Фильм со мной в главной роли!
00:21:37,084 --> 00:21:39,224 И уж тогда все воспримут меня суперсерильезно!
00:21:40,144 --> 00:21:42,704 Excelsior!
00:21:44,544 --> 00:21:48,384 <i><b>Спасибо за просмотр! Matr!XER (matr1xer@mail.ru)</b></i>

00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:12,013 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,195 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,079 M'kay, students.
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,249 We have a very special guest speaker today.
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,420 Who can tell me the name of our country's last vice president?
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,088 Dick Cheney?
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,548 No, the <i>last</i> one.
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,799 Bill Clinton!
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,177 No, Clinton's vice president.
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,473 He is here today to talk to you students
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:58,142 about some very serious issues.
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,394 Please welcome Al Gore!
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,316 Who?
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,694 Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students of South Park Elementary.
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,821 I am here to educate you
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:14,158 about the single biggest threat to our planet.
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,494 You see, there is something out there
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,871 which threatens our very existence
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,208 and may be the end to the human race as we know it.
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:28,089 I'm talking, of course, about ManBearPig.
00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,132 ManBearPig?
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,385 It is a creature which roams the earth alone.
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:38,849 It is half man, half bear, and half pig.
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:43,187 Some people say that ManBearPig isn't real.
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,106 Well, I'm here to tell you now,
00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:50,277 ManBearPig is very real, and he most certainly exists.
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,071 I'm cereal.
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,908 ManBearPig doesn't care who you are or what you've done.
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,828 ManBearPig simply wants to <i>get</i> you.
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,372 I'm super cereal.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,795 But have no fear, because I am here to save you.
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,757 And someday, when the world is rid of ManBearPig,
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,177 everyone will say, "Thank you, Al Gore.
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,513 You're super awesome."
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,849 The end.
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,936 Uh, okay. Thank you, Mr. Gore.
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,272 Thank you, class.
00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,732 Excelsior!
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,991 Check out this sweet move.
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,826 Kyle, you can't block like that!
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,411 Just play the game, fat-ass.
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,620 Pass it to me, Cartman.
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,290 Hang on. I'm gonna do something super killer.
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,710 God damn it! Stop it, Kyle!
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,510 All right. Check it out.
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,304 This is a total Kobe Bryant I'm about to do.
00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,889 Just take a shot or pass the ball, asshole!
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:00,848 It's getting late!
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,275 Let's just see you get the ball this time, Jew boy.
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,860 Kyle, knock it off!
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,156 Cartman stop hogging the goddamn ball!
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,158 Gwoooon!
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,287 Don't worry. It's not really ManBearPig.
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,122 It's me -- Al Gore.
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,916 We know.
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:29,877 Dude, what are you doing?
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,004 I'm spreading ManBearPig awareness.
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,466 Here. Each of you kids take a pamphlet and a bumper sticker.
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,888 I hope now you boys see that this is totally cereal.
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:44,808 The next time, it could be the real ManBearPig.
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,561 Can I just get you to sign the awareness sheet?
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,355 Just your name and phone number
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,607 and where you first heard about ManBearPig?
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,608 Uh, Stan?
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,151 Oh, hey, Dad.
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,238 Hello.
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,158 It's uh, getting late, boys.
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,369 Why don't you get in the car and I'll drive you all home.
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,995 Okay, Mr. Marsh.
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,247 Be safe.
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,594 Boys, I don't want you hanging out
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055 with that ex-vice president anymore, okay?
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,390 Aw, he's all right, Dad.
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,225 He was just trying to warn us about ManBearPig.
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,268 ManBearPig?
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,061 He's half man and half bearpig.
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,272 No, dude, he's half man, half bear, and half pig.
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,606 That doesn't make any sense.
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,400 He could be half bear, half manpig.
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,319 Boys, there's no such thing as a ManBearPig.
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,989 The vice president is just desperate for attention.
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:41,740 But I feel kind of bad for him, Dad.
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,243 I don't think he has any friends.
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,417 Hello?
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,294 Hello. This is Al Gore.
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,503 Oh, man.
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,046 Hi, Mr. Gore.
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,215 - I was the vice president. - I know.
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,508 Can you and your friends make it
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,011 to an emergency ManBearPig meeting tomorrow morning?
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,596 I have some evidence he could be in this area.
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:09,351 Look, I'm sorry, but we're all kind of busy.
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,563 Oh. I get it.
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,398 You don't believe me either.
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,858 No, no. It's not that.
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,443 Yes, it is.
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,944 Nobody believes me!
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:22,823 I'm trying to warn everybody, and nobody takes me cereal!
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,996 I just want somebody in the world
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,790 to take me cereal just for once.
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,169 It's okay, Mr. Gore.
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,754 I-I believe you.
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,505 No, you don't.
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,507 Yeah. I'm sure ManBearPig needs to be stopped.
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,468 I'm just -- I'm just scared
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,178 that I can't do anything to stop him.
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,473 Are you cereal?
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,224 Yes, I'm cereal.
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,310 Don't worry. We <i>can</i> stop him!
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,562 Bring everyone you can to my ManBearPig meeting
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,022 tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. sharp!
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,863 Dude, why are we going to hang out with this guy?
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:03,947 Mrph. Mrph rmh rmphm.
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,033 Come on, you guys. Al Gore doesn't have any friends.
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,786 We'll make an appearance at his little meeting and we'll go.
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,121 Hi, kids! Come on in!
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,874 Okay. Let's get this meeting started.
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,710 What do you kids think we should do to stop ManBearPig?
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,880 Yeah, you know, Mr. Gore, my dad is a geologist,
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,342 and he said that ManBearPig probably isn't in Colorado.
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,969 What does your dad look like?
00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:28,305 Does he have large hooves where his feet should be?!
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,348 No!
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,433 Damn. For a minute there, I thought we'd found him.
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,685 Well, this was a great meeting, wasn't it, guys?
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,145 But we got to get going to school now.
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,314 Oh, my God!
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,526 ManBearPig screen active!
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:45,072 What is this area of Colorado? It's a cave of some kind!
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,533 Yeah, that's Cave of the Winds. It's a tourist attraction.
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,951 Oh, Jesus on ice skates,
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,161 we've got to get down there right away.
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,956 - I don't think so, dude. - Yeah, we've got school anyway.
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,917 I can get you all excused from school.
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,920 You have that kind of power?
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,713 Look, you boys have a chance
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,008 to help me find and kill ManBearPig once and for all.
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,677 I'm totally cereal!
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,891 Hello, everyone. Welcome to Cave of the Winds.
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,102 Our tour is going to take us through two chambers
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,480 of one of the most elaborate cavern systems in Colorado.
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,524 Before we get started, I do understand
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,943 we have a special guest in our group today --
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,112 the ex-vice president, Mr. Al Gore!
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,412 Mr. Gore asked me to make sure you all knew he was here.
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,872 Now, once we enter the cave,
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,915 we do ask you that you follow two rules --
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,501 stay on the path and do not touch anything.
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,419 All right. Are we ready?
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:41,879 Yeah!
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,964 Let's go cavin'!
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633 Here we are in the main chamber of the cave.
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,677 It was discovered in 1892
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,139 and first used as a hideout for smugglers of the Old West.
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,224 Have you noticed high deposits of sulfur
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,269 or a salmon-like odor coming from the caves lately?
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,354 Uh, no.
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,898 Now, as you can see,
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,734 the cave is filled with stalagmites and stalactites.
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,652 - Water drips from the... - All right, kids.
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,697 I need you to keep an eye out for ManBearPig droppings.
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,699 What do ManBearPig droppings look like?
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,536 Similar to pig droppings but more manbear-like.
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,538 These rocks often make interesting shapes,
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,539 which we like to name.
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,168 For instance, this one here we named The Hanging Mushroom."
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:26,715 And over here we have Man With Helmet and Two Bowling Balls.
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,176 And finally, of course, The Two Sisters.
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,888 Now, the cave itself is millions of years old
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,016 and has a constant temperature of 57 degrees.
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,392 Gwoooooon!
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,686 Gwoooooon!
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,899 Sir? Mr. Gore? Is there a problem?
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,860 - Not yet. - All right, everyone.
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,655 If you'll step this way, you'll see how the cave gets its name.
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,616 Kids! Kids, over here! Look!
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:53,450 What?
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,327 I'll bet this is where he's hiding.
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,621 This looks like ManBearPig central.
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,373 Come on!
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,583 Come on! This is where ManBearPig is!
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,044 I'm cereal!
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,256 In certain areas of the cave, the wind actually blows through,
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,924 causing a sound you can hear.
00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,886 - Ahh! - Ooh!
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,222 Take a picture of the sound, Steven.
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,934 Mr. Gore, I think we should stay with the tour group.
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:19,935 Wait! Shh!
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,981 Christ, he's here!
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:24,982 Take this rope!
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,567 Be ready to tie him up!
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,653 I've got you now, you son of a bitch!
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,614 What are you doing?
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,116 Oh, no!
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,827 No!
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,663 Leave them alone, you goddamn ManBearPig!
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,331 Help! Help!
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,293 Damn you, ManBearPig! They're just children!
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:49,089 Okay. Everyone out of the cave now!
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,551 Go! Go! Move out!
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,930 Aaah!
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,231 - Hello? - Help!
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,232 We're trapped in here!
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,735 Somebody get us! We're trapped down here! Hello!
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,445 - Help! - Forget it!
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,739 - They can't hear us. - Mrph rmh rmhmhm rmh?
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,616 You better get us out of here, asshole!
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:16,450 Me?
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,243 You just had to go and be nice to Al Gore!
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,703 Now we're trapped in a cave!
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,288 Maybe there's another way out of here.
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,205 Mrph rmhmhm.
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,458 All right. Let's split up and look for a passageway.
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:27,002 Everyone take a different direction.
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,424 Oh, man. We're in big trouble here.
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,259 This is bullcrap.
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,846 If I miss dinner, I'm gonna be so pissed off.
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,431 Aah!
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,226 God damn it!
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,200 You see anything, Kenny?
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,951 Mrph rmh rm!
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,662 Cartman?
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,498 Cartman, you see anything?
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041 No, nothing.
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,127 No. Nothing here. Nothing this way.
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,508 T-Treasure.
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,760 Cartman, you okay? You need help?
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,179 I'm fine! This way's a d-dead end!
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,639 Coming back to you now.
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,312 It looks like we're completely sealed in.
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,313 Mrph rmh rmphm.
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,315 There's a small passageway about 200 yards over there.
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,443 But it goes for a long, long way, and it's pretty steep.
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,237 Maybe we should go for it.
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,697 You guys go on ahead.
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,407 I'm gonna stay here, wait it out.
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,491 Why?
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,410 I just -- I don't feel very good.
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,869 I'll just weigh you guys down.
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,663 Cartman's right -- First rule of survival
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,164 is stay put and wait to be rescued.
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,416 No. It's okay. You guys go on ahead.
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,625 No. We'll stay here, too.
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,836 If we start wandering off, we're gonna get lost or killed.
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,046 Let's just wait here and hope help comes soon.
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,297 That's cool.
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,842 I just -- I just wouldn't go over there if I were you guys.
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,385 I just took a huge dump.
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,220 Aw, dude!
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,226 The cave-in was massive and has cut off all access in or out.
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,813 The children are believed to be trapped somewhere in this area.
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,857 Does anybody know who these kids are?
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,442 No, nobody seems to know them,
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,026 only that they were in the tour group.
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,112 Digging to them is gonna take days.
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,030 Excuse me!
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533 This cave-in was no accident,
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,369 and it isn't going to stop unless we move fast.
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,748 I am superduper cereal.
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,624 What do you mean? The cave-in is over.
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,086 I'm afraid you have a much bigger problem than a cave-in.
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,045 What's that?
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,009 What is that? A PigBearMan?
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,761 No, stupid.
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,096 It's ManBearPig.
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,390 I'm so hungry.
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,350 Do you think people even know we're here?
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,102 They saw us on the tour.
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,062 Dude, where do you keep going, Cartman?
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,440 I just need to keep taking a crap.
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,066 I've got diarrhea really bad.
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,568 Dude, it's bad enough we have to sit here
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,153 without you taking a crap every 10 minutes!
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,613 Let's just try to sleep.
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,990 Maybe help will come tomorrow.
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,623 All that treasure.
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,500 It's all mine!
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,628 So long as these greedy assholes don't find out about it.
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,129 You would all just love
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,048 to get your hands on my treasure, wouldn't you?
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,090 Even though I found it,
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,218 you'd love to think it's somehow yours, too.
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,677 God, I hate you guys.
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,846 Especially you,
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,848 you money-grubbing snake in the grass.
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,185 Well, I've got news for you, Kyle.
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,479 You're never going to get my treasure.
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,105 I've got a little plan going
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,734 to get the treasure out of here without you ever knowing.
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,778 C-Cartman?
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,406 Oh. Hey, Kyle. How's it going?
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,492 Dude, what are you doing?
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,160 Not much.
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,204 You know, just hanging out.
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,582 How you been, man? Good?
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,834 Dude, get away from me.
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,502 Yeah, it was nice talking with you, Kyle.
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,003 See you around.
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,634 Why won't anybody listen to me?
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:03,969 ManBearPig is in there,
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,179 and we have to kill him while we all have the chance.
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,639 I'm cereal!
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,808 Mr. Gore, please. We need you to calm down.
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,018 Now, what exactly do you suggest we do?
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:15,480 I told you we need to fill the cave with hot molten lead
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,817 'cause it's the only way to make sure ManBearPig never comes out!
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,652 And I'm saying it, and I'm totally cereal,
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,571 but everyone just keeps digging!
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,407 Well, see, the problem is that if we fill the caves
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,826 with hot molten lead, it will kill those boys, too.
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,287 They're already dead! Didn't you listen to me?
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,955 They got attacked by ManBearPig,
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582 and ManBearPig leaves nobody alive!
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,125 I'm super cereal!
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,169 And nobody will listen to me! I'm cereal!
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,093 Do you want me to get the ex-vice president out of here?
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,220 Nah. I-I feel kind of bad for him.
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,306 I don't think he has any friends.
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,899 All right. Got to be strong.
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,859 There's still a lot more treasure to go.
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,132 Dude, he's really sick.
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,058 It's been three days since four unidentified children
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,726 were trapped in a cave-in.
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,938 Three days without food, and time is certainly running out.
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,815 The digging continues, but progress is fatally slow.
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,151 All right, people. We've got to work faster.
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,487 Our best estimate still puts us three days away
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,948 from reaching the area of the cave called Smuggler's Den.
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,115 Smuggler's Den?
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,742 I-It's a room near the end of the tour
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,244 where you can get your picture taken with fake treasure.
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,204 Here. See?
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,708 Based on where the boys were seen last,
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,418 they're somewhere near this area.
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,545 Hopefully they've followed the first rule of survival
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172 and stayed put.
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,675 Stan. Stan, wake up!
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,677 Huh? What? Have they come for us?
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,136 No, it's Cartman.
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,514 Something's really wrong with him.
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,560 Blugh.
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,106 Oh, my God!
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,441 Cartman! Dude, can you hear me?!
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,195 I'm fine. Just a little --
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,947 No big deal.
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,284 We can't wait here any longer.
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,245 We got to get him out of here or he's gonna die.
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,162 How, dude?
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,039 We don't even know if that passage goes anywhere.
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,542 Maybe we should head out first, see if we can find a way out,
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,543 and then come back for him.
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,669 No, don't!
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,504 Don't leave me here, you assholes.
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922 Don't leave me here to die.
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,731 Come on! Pull!
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,482 God damn it, he's so heavy!
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,651 Hurry, you guys.
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,361 You got to get me out of here.
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,617 - What the hell was that? - Cartman?
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,328 You guys, we got no time! You got to get me out!
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,630 This is the end of you, ManBearPig.
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,058 Excelsior!
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,359 Blugh.
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:49,736 Mrph rmhmhm rhm.
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:52,322 I can't keep carrying him, dude. I've got no strength.
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,531 Yes, you do!
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,409 What the hell is that?
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,705 Oh, my God.
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,083 Aah! Get me out of here! Get me out of here, you guys!
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,084 Run!
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,299 That's it. Pull everyone out.
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,842 There's nothing more we can do.
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,344 You're calling off the rescue?
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,679 We didn't plan on a freak river flood.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,723 God must really want those kids dead.
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,350 What if the children aren't dead?
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,519 Look, the cavern is completely flooded.
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,187 Nothing could have survived.
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,606 There's nothing left alive down there.
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,402 Nothing left alive.
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:32,987 I did it.
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,240 I killed ManBearPig.
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,993 I've saved the earth from certain destruction.
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,287 Everyone is super stoked on me.
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,331 Even if they don't know it.
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,173 Kenny, here! Take my hand!
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,592 Hurry, Kyle! The water's rising!
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,472 Cartman...you've got to swim!
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,765 Kick with your legs!
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,308 I can't kick!
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,518 Yes, you can!
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,228 I can't kick! You just have to save me!
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,689 - I need your help! - No, you just have to save me!
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:14,028 Kyle, no!
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,243 We are gathered here to say goodbye
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,912 to four kids whom we all tried to help
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,831 but in the end could not.
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,500 But where there is loss, there is hope.
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,086 For ManBearPig is no more.
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,213 Oh, Jesus. Here we go again.
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,382 I have beaten ManBearPig,
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,342 and we will never forget the names
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,846 of the brave young kids who lost their lives --
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:44,767 kid one...kid two...kid three...
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,729 and, of course, kid four.
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,232 I remember how kid one used to laugh and play
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,902 and how kid two was always there when I needed him.
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,778 Oh, my God!
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,909 It's the kids! They're alive!
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,914 Kids! I saved you!
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,874 Just stay away from us, asshole!
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,168 I was nice to you because I felt sorry for you
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,628 because you don't have any friends!
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,671 But now I see why you don't have any friends!
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,841 You just use ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,384 because you're a loser!
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,511 Yeah, right.
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,973 The man who single-handedly killed ManBearPig is a loser.
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,478 We need to get our friend to a hospital right away!
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:29,896 No! No, I'm fine.
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,023 I just need to get home and rest.
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,983 Cartman, seriously, you need to see a doctor!
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,319 No! I just need to get to a toilet.
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,154 See you guys. I--
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,197 Ha-ba --
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,409 Ha-ba-a-a-a-a-a-a!
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,827 Aah!
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,629 Dude, did Cartman just crap treasure?
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,590 It's mine! It's mine! You hear me?
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,634 I got it out of the cave! It belongs to me!
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,177 Keep your greedy hands away!
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,304 Hey, that looks like the fake treasure
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,139 from our Smuggler's Den photo room.
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,975 That's right, and I --
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:07,976 Fake treasure?
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,895 Yeah. We put it there for kids to take their picture with.
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,190 All in all, I'd say that treasure is worth about $14.
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,275 No.
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,484 No!
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,986 Aah!
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,028 Ow!
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,531 You made us pull you to safety because you ate treasure?
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:22,824 You son of a bitch!
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,575 Don't you think I'm hurting enough, Kyle?
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,994 Ow! Ow!
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,036 Ow!
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,080 Well, my work here is done.
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,790 I've killed MBP,
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,418 and now I must save the world from something else.
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,169 Maybe I'll make a movie.
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,921 A movie starring me.
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:39,924 Then people will take me super cereal.
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:41,801 Excelsior!
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,221 Aah!

00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:12,013 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,391 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,312 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,647 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,195 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,079 MR. MACKEY: M'kay, students.
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,249 We have a very special guest speaker today.
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,420 Who can tell me the name of our country's last vice president?
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,088 Dick Cheney?
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,548 No, the <i>last</i> one.
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,799 Bill Clinton!
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,177 No, Clinton's vice president.
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,473 He is here today to talk to you students
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:58,142 about some very serious issues.
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,394 Please welcome Al Gore!
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:03,064 [ Light applause ]
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,316 Who?
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:08,694 Thank you, Mr. Mackey, students of South Park Elementary.
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,821 I am here to educate you
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:14,158 about the single biggest threat to our planet.
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,494 You see, there is something out there
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,871 which threatens our very existence
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,208 and may be the end to the human race as we know it.
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:28,089 I'm talking, of course, about ManBearPig.
00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,132 ManBearPig?
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:33,385 It is a creature which roams the earth alone.
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:38,849 It is half man, half bear, and half pig.
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:43,187 Some people say that ManBearPig isn't real.
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,106 Well, I'm here to tell you now,
00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:50,277 ManBearPig is very real, and he most certainly exists.
00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,071 I'm cereal.
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,908 ManBearPig doesn't care who you are or what you've done.
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,828 ManBearPig simply wants to <i>get</i> you.
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,372 I'm super cereal.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,795 But have no fear, because I am here to save you.
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,757 And someday, when the world is rid of ManBearPig,
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,177 everyone will say, "Thank you, Al Gore.
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,513 You're super awesome."
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,849 The end.
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:23,936 Uh, okay. Thank you, Mr. Gore.
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,272 Thank you, class.
00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,732 Excelsior!
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,905 [ Chuckling ]
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,991 Check out this sweet move.
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,826 Kyle, you can't block like that!
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,411 Just play the game, fat-ass.
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,620 Pass it to me, Cartman.
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,290 Hang on. I'm gonna do something super killer.
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,710 God damn it! Stop it, Kyle!
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,421 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,510 All right. Check it out.
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,304 This is a total Kobe Bryant I'm about to do.
00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,889 Just take a shot or pass the ball, asshole!
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:00,848 It's getting late!
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,309 [ Music continues ]
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,606 [ Chuckling ]
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,275 Let's just see you get the ball this time, Jew boy.
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,860 Kyle, knock it off!
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:17,156 STAN: Cartman stop hogging the goddamn ball!
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,158 Gwoooon!
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,287 Don't worry. It's not really ManBearPig.
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,122 It's me -- Al Gore.
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,916 We know.
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:29,877 Dude, what are you doing?
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,004 I'm spreading ManBearPig awareness.
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,466 Here. Each of you kids take a pamphlet and a bumper sticker.
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,888 I hope now you boys see that this is totally cereal.
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:44,808 The next time, it could be the real ManBearPig.
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,561 Can I just get you to sign the awareness sheet?
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,355 Just your name and phone number
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,607 and where you first heard about ManBearPig?
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,608 Uh, Stan?
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,151 Oh, hey, Dad.
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,238 Hello.
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,158 It's uh, getting late, boys.
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,369 Why don't you get in the car and I'll drive you all home.
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,995 Okay, Mr. Marsh.
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,247 Be safe.
00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,539 [ Engine starts ]
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,594 Boys, I don't want you hanging out
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,055 with that ex-vice president anymore, okay?
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,390 Aw, he's all right, Dad.
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,225 He was just trying to warn us about ManBearPig.
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:27,268 ManBearPig?
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,061 He's half man and half bearpig.
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,272 No, dude, he's half man, half bear, and half pig.
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,606 That doesn't make any sense.
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,400 He could be half bear, half manpig.
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,319 Boys, there's no such thing as a ManBearPig.
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,989 The vice president is just desperate for attention.
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:41,740 But I feel kind of bad for him, Dad.
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,243 I don't think he has any friends.
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,078 [ Telephone ringing ]
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,417 Hello?
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,294 Hello. This is Al Gore.
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,503 Oh, man.
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,046 Hi, Mr. Gore.
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,215 - I was the vice president. - I know.
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,508 Can you and your friends make it
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,011 to an emergency ManBearPig meeting tomorrow morning?
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,596 I have some evidence he could be in this area.
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:09,351 Look, I'm sorry, but we're all kind of busy.
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,563 [ Sadly ] Oh. I get it.
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,398 You don't believe me either.
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,858 No, no. It's not that.
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,443 Yes, it is.
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,944 Nobody believes me!
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:22,823 I'm trying to warn everybody, and nobody takes me cereal!
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,744 [ Sobbing ]
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,996 I just want somebody in the world
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,790 to take me cereal just for once.
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,625 [ Sobbing ]
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,169 It's okay, Mr. Gore.
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,754 I-I believe you.
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,505 No, you don't.
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,507 Yeah. I'm sure ManBearPig needs to be stopped.
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,468 I'm just -- I'm just scared
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,178 that I can't do anything to stop him.
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,473 [ Sniffles ] Are you cereal?
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,224 Yes, I'm cereal.
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,310 Don't worry. We <i>can</i> stop him!
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,562 Bring everyone you can to my ManBearPig meeting
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,022 tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. sharp!
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:56,023 [ Click, dial tone ]
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,317 [ Birds chirping ]
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,863 Dude, why are we going to hang out with this guy?
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:03,947 Mrph. Mrph rmh rmphm.
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,033 Come on, you guys. Al Gore doesn't have any friends.
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,786 We'll make an appearance at his little meeting and we'll go.
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,121 Hi, kids! Come on in!
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,874 Okay. Let's get this meeting started.
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,710 What do you kids think we should do to stop ManBearPig?
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,880 Yeah, you know, Mr. Gore, my dad is a geologist,
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:23,342 and he said that ManBearPig probably isn't in Colorado.
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,969 What does your dad look like?
00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:28,305 Does he have large hooves where his feet should be?!
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,348 No!
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,433 Damn. For a minute there, I thought we'd found him.
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,685 Well, this was a great meeting, wasn't it, guys?
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,145 But we got to get going to school now.
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,314 - [Alarm chirping ] - Oh, my God!
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,982 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,526 ManBearPig screen active!
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:41,527 [ Beeping ]
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:45,072 What is this area of Colorado? It's a cave of some kind!
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,533 Yeah, that's Cave of the Winds. It's a tourist attraction.
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,951 Oh, Jesus on ice skates,
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,161 we've got to get down there right away.
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,956 - I don't think so, dude. - Yeah, we've got school anyway.
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,917 I can get you all excused from school.
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,920 You have that kind of power?
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:01,713 Look, you boys have a chance
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,008 to help me find and kill ManBearPig once and for all.
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,677 I'm totally cereal!
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:12,891 Hello, everyone. Welcome to Cave of the Winds.
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,102 Our tour is going to take us through two chambers
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,480 of one of the most elaborate cavern systems in Colorado.
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,524 Before we get started, I do understand
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,943 we have a special guest in our group today --
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,112 the ex-vice president, Mr. Al Gore!
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,412 Mr. Gore asked me to make sure you all knew he was here.
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,872 Now, once we enter the cave,
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:36,915 we do ask you that you follow two rules --
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,501 stay on the path and do not touch anything.
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,419 All right. Are we ready?
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:41,879 ALL: Yeah!
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,964 Let's go cavin'!
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633 Here we are in the main chamber of the cave.
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,677 It was discovered in 1892
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,139 and first used as a hideout for smugglers of the Old West.
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,224 Have you noticed high deposits of sulfur
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,269 or a salmon-like odor coming from the caves lately?
00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,354 Uh, no.
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,898 Now, as you can see,
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,734 the cave is filled with stalagmites and stalactites.
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,652 - Water drips from the... - All right, kids.
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,697 I need you to keep an eye out for ManBearPig droppings.
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,699 What do ManBearPig droppings look like?
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,536 Similar to pig droppings but more manbear-like.
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,538 These rocks often make interesting shapes,
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,539 which we like to name.
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:21,168 For instance, this one here we named The Hanging Mushroom."
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:26,715 And over here we have Man With Helmet and Two Bowling Balls.
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,176 And finally, of course, The Two Sisters.
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,888 Now, the cave itself is millions of years old
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,016 and has a constant temperature of 57 degrees.
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,392 Gwoooooon!
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,686 Gwoooooon!
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,899 Sir? Mr. Gore? Is there a problem?
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,860 - Not yet. - All right, everyone.
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,655 If you'll step this way, you'll see how the cave gets its name.
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,616 Kids! Kids, over here! Look!
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:53,450 What?
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,327 I'll bet this is where he's hiding.
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,621 This looks like ManBearPig central.
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,373 Come on!
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,583 Come on! This is where ManBearPig is!
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,044 I'm cereal!
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,256 In certain areas of the cave, the wind actually blows through,
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,924 causing a sound you can hear.
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,134 [ Wind whistling ]
00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,886 - Ahh! - Ooh!
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,222 Take a picture of the sound, Steven.
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,515 [ Shutter clicks ]
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,934 Mr. Gore, I think we should stay with the tour group.
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:19,935 Wait! Shh!
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,770 [ Whistling in distance ]
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,981 Christ, he's here!
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:24,982 Take this rope!
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,567 Be ready to tie him up!
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,653 I've got you now, you son of a bitch!
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,614 What are you doing?
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,116 - Oh, no! - [ Rumbling ]
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,827 - No! - [ Boys screaming ]
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,663 Leave them alone, you goddamn ManBearPig!
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,331 BOYS: Help! Help!
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,293 Damn you, ManBearPig! They're just children!
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:49,089 Okay. Everyone out of the cave now!
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,174 [ Crowd screaming ]
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,551 Go! Go! Move out!
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,928 [All screaming ]
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,930 Aaah!
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,188 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,231 - KYLE: Hello? - STAN: Help!
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,232 We're trapped in here!
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,735 Somebody get us! We're trapped down here! Hello!
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,445 - STAN: Help! - Forget it!
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,739 - They can't hear us. - Mrph rmh rmhmhm rmh?
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,616 You better get us out of here, asshole!
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:16,450 Me?
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,243 You just had to go and be nice to Al Gore!
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,703 Now we're trapped in a cave!
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,288 Maybe there's another way out of here.
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,205 Mrph rmhmhm.
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:24,458 All right. Let's split up and look for a passageway.
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:27,002 Everyone take a different direction.
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,213 [ Grunting ]
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,424 Oh, man. We're in big trouble here.
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,259 This is bullcrap.
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,846 If I miss dinner, I'm gonna be so pissed off.
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,431 Aah!
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,766 [ Grunts ]
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,226 [ Coughs ] God damn it!
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,200 KYLE: You see anything, Kenny?
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,951 KENNY: Mrph rmh rm!
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,662 KYLE: Cartman?
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,498 Cartman, you see anything?
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041 [ High-pitched voice ] No, nothing. [ Clears throat ]
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,127 [ Normal voice ] No. Nothing here. Nothing this way.
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,508 T-Treasure.
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,760 KYLE: Cartman, you okay? You need help?
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,179 I'm fine! This way's a d-dead end!
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,639 Coming back to you now.
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,016 [ Suspenseful music plays ]
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,312 It looks like we're completely sealed in.
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,313 Mrph rmh rmphm.
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,315 There's a small passageway about 200 yards over there.
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,443 But it goes for a long, long way, and it's pretty steep.
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,237 Maybe we should go for it.
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,697 You guys go on ahead.
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,407 I'm gonna stay here, wait it out.
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,491 Why?
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,410 I just -- I don't feel very good.
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,869 I'll just weigh you guys down.
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,663 Cartman's right -- First rule of survival
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,164 is stay put and wait to be rescued.
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,416 No. It's okay. You guys go on ahead.
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,625 No. We'll stay here, too.
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,836 If we start wandering off, we're gonna get lost or killed.
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,046 Let's just wait here and hope help comes soon.
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,297 That's cool.
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,842 I just -- I just wouldn't go over there if I were you guys.
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,385 I just took a huge dump.
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,220 Aw, dude!
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,930 [ Police radio chatter ]
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,226 The cave-in was massive and has cut off all access in or out.
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,813 The children are believed to be trapped somewhere in this area.
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,857 Does anybody know who these kids are?
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,442 No, nobody seems to know them,
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,026 only that they were in the tour group.
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,112 Digging to them is gonna take days.
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,030 Excuse me!
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,533 This cave-in was no accident,
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,369 and it isn't going to stop unless we move fast.
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,748 I am superduper cereal.
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,624 What do you mean? The cave-in is over.
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,086 I'm afraid you have a much bigger problem than a cave-in.
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,045 What's that?
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,506 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,009 What is that? A PigBearMan?
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,761 No, stupid.
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:43,096 It's ManBearPig.
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,390 I'm so hungry.
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,350 Do you think people even know we're here?
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,102 They saw us on the tour.
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,062 Dude, where do you keep going, Cartman?
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,440 I just need to keep taking a crap.
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,066 I've got diarrhea really bad.
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,568 Dude, it's bad enough we have to sit here
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,153 without you taking a crap every 10 minutes!
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,613 Let's just try to sleep.
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,990 Maybe help will come tomorrow.
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,623 All that treasure.
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,500 It's all mine!
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,628 So long as these greedy assholes don't find out about it.
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,129 You would all just love
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,048 to get your hands on my treasure, wouldn't you?
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,090 Even though I found it,
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,218 you'd love to think it's somehow yours, too.
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,677 God, I hate you guys.
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,846 Especially you,
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,848 you money-grubbing snake in the grass.
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,185 Well, I've got news for you, Kyle.
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,479 You're never going to get my treasure.
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,105 I've got a little plan going
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,734 to get the treasure out of here without you ever knowing.
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,778 C-Cartman?
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,406 Oh. Hey, Kyle. How's it going?
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,492 Dude, what are you doing?
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,160 Not much.
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,204 You know, just hanging out.
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,582 How you been, man? Good?
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,834 Dude, get away from me.
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,502 Yeah, it was nice talking with you, Kyle.
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,003 See you around.
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,048 [ Police radio chatter ]
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,634 Why won't anybody listen to me?
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:03,969 ManBearPig is in there,
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:06,179 and we have to kill him while we all have the chance.
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,639 I'm cereal!
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,808 Mr. Gore, please. We need you to calm down.
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,018 Now, what exactly do you suggest we do?
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:15,480 I told you we need to fill the cave with hot molten lead
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,817 'cause it's the only way to make sure ManBearPig never comes out!
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,652 And I'm saying it, and I'm totally cereal,
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,571 but everyone just keeps digging!
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,407 Well, see, the problem is that if we fill the caves
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,826 with hot molten lead, it will kill those boys, too.
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,287 They're already dead! Didn't you listen to me?
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,955 They got attacked by ManBearPig,
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582 and ManBearPig leaves nobody alive!
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,125 I'm super cereal!
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,169 And nobody will listen to me! I'm cereal!
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,380 [ Sobbing ]
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,093 Do you want me to get the ex-vice president out of here?
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,220 Nah. I-I feel kind of bad for him.
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,306 I don't think he has any friends.
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,933 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,397 [ Chuckling ]
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,899 All right. Got to be strong.
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,859 There's still a lot more treasure to go.
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,572 [ Gulping ]
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,577 [ Gagging ]
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,208 [ Gagging ]
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,132 Dude, he's really sick.
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,058 It's been three days since four unidentified children
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,726 were trapped in a cave-in.
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,938 Three days without food, and time is certainly running out.
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,815 The digging continues, but progress is fatally slow.
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,151 All right, people. We've got to work faster.
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,487 Our best estimate still puts us three days away
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,948 from reaching the area of the cave called Smuggler's Den.
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,115 Smuggler's Den?
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,742 I-It's a room near the end of the tour
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,244 where you can get your picture taken with fake treasure.
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,204 Here. See?
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,708 Based on where the boys were seen last,
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,418 they're somewhere near this area.
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,545 Hopefully they've followed the first rule of survival
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172 and stayed put.
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,675 Stan. Stan, wake up!
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,677 Huh? What? Have they come for us?
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,136 No, it's Cartman.
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,514 Something's really wrong with him.
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,560 Blugh. [ Coughing ]
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,106 Oh, my God!
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,441 Cartman! Dude, can you hear me?!
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,195 I'm fine. Just a little --
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,947 No big deal.
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,782 [ Burping ]
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,284 We can't wait here any longer.
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,245 We got to get him out of here or he's gonna die.
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,162 How, dude?
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,039 We don't even know if that passage goes anywhere.
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,542 Maybe we should head out first, see if we can find a way out,
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,543 and then come back for him.
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,669 No, don't!
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,504 Don't leave me here, you assholes.
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922 Don't leave me here to die.
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:48,299 [ Coughing ]
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,303 [ Sirens wailing, indistinct conversations ]
00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,723 [ Rope creaking ]
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:57,017 [ Groaning ]
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,186 [All grunting ]
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,731 Come on! Pull!
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,482 God damn it, he's so heavy!
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,651 [ Coughs ] Hurry, you guys.
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,361 You got to get me out of here.
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,571 [ Grunting ]
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,115 [ Farts, coins rattle ]
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,617 - What the hell was that? - Cartman?
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,328 You guys, we got no time! You got to get me out!
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,372 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,499 [ Metal creaking ]
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:27,630 This is the end of you, ManBearPig.
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,058 Excelsior!
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,560 [ Music continues ]
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,359 Blugh. [ Coughs ]
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:49,736 Mrph rmhmhm rhm.
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:52,322 I can't keep carrying him, dude. I've got no strength.
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,531 Yes, you do!
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:54,991 [ Rumbling in distance ]
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,409 What the hell is that?
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:00,705 Oh, my God.
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,083 Aah! Get me out of here! Get me out of here, you guys!
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,084 Run!
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,211 [All screaming ]
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,299 That's it. Pull everyone out.
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,842 There's nothing more we can do.
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,344 You're calling off the rescue?
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,679 We didn't plan on a freak river flood.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,723 God must really want those kids dead.
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,350 What if the children aren't dead?
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,519 Look, the cavern is completely flooded.
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,187 Nothing could have survived.
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,606 There's nothing left alive down there.
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,402 Nothing left alive.
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:32,987 I did it.
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,240 I killed ManBearPig.
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,993 I've saved the earth from certain destruction.
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,287 Everyone is super stoked on me.
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,331 Even if they don't know it.
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,376 [ Gasps ]
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:49,379 [ Coughing ]
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,173 Kenny, here! Take my hand!
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,592 Hurry, Kyle! The water's rising!
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,970 CARTMAN: [ Coughing ]
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,472 Cartman...you've got to swim!
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,765 Kick with your legs!
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,308 [ Coughs ] I can't kick!
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,518 Yes, you can!
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,228 I can't kick! You just have to save me!
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,689 - I need your help! - No, you just have to save me!
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,816 [ Grunting ]
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:14,028 STAN: Kyle, no!
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,490 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:20,243 We are gathered here to say goodbye
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,912 to four kids whom we all tried to help
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,831 but in the end could not.
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,500 But where there is loss, there is hope.
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,086 For ManBearPig is no more.
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,213 Oh, Jesus. Here we go again.
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,382 I have beaten ManBearPig,
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,342 and we will never forget the names
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,846 of the brave young kids who lost their lives --
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:44,767 kid one...kid two...kid three...
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,729 and, of course, kid four.
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,232 I remember how kid one used to laugh and play
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,902 and how kid two was always there when I needed him.
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,778 - [ Grunts ] - Oh, my God!
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,865 [ Grunting ]
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,909 It's the kids! They're alive!
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,077 [ Grunting ]
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,914 Kids! I saved you!
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,874 Just stay away from us, asshole!
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,168 I was nice to you because I felt sorry for you
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,628 because you don't have any friends!
00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:13,671 But now I see why you don't have any friends!
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,841 You just use ManBearPig as a way to get attention for yourself
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,384 because you're a loser!
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:20,511 Yeah, right.
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,973 The man who single-handedly killed ManBearPig is a loser.
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,934 [ Groaning ]
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,478 We need to get our friend to a hospital right away!
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:29,896 No! No, I'm fine.
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,023 I just need to get home and rest.
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,983 Cartman, seriously, you need to see a doctor!
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,319 No! I just need to get to a toilet.
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,154 See you guys. I--
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,197 Ha-ba --
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,409 Ha-ba-a-a-a-a-a-a! [ Farting ]
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,827 Aah!
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,792 [ Birds chirping ]
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,629 Dude, did Cartman just crap treasure?
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,590 It's mine! It's mine! You hear me?
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,634 I got it out of the cave! It belongs to me!
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,177 Keep your greedy hands away!
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,304 Hey, that looks like the fake treasure
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,139 from our Smuggler's Den photo room.
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,975 That's right, and I --
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:07,976 Fake treasure?
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,895 Yeah. We put it there for kids to take their picture with.
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,190 All in all, I'd say that treasure is worth about $14.
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,275 No.
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,484 No!
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,986 [ Farts ] Aah!
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,028 Ow!
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,531 You made us pull you to safety because you ate treasure?
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:22,824 You son of a bitch!
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,575 Don't you think I'm hurting enough, Kyle?
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,994 Ow! Ow! [ Farts ]
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,036 Ow!
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,080 Well, my work here is done.
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,790 I've killed MBP,
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,418 and now I must save the world from something else.
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,169 Maybe I'll make a movie.
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,921 A movie starring me.
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:39,924 Then people will take me super cereal.
00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:41,801 Excelsior!
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,221 Aah! [ Farts ]

Скриншоты

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