Мультипликационные войны, часть II

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:32,950

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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The popular cartoon

"Family Guy"

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is going to show the image

of Muhammad uncensored!

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If we all bury our heads

in sand,

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we can avoid being any part

of this.

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And I'm gonna do whatever I can

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to get that episode pulled

before this gets out of hand.

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You just want "Family Guy"

off the air.

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Kyle, stop it!

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So long, Kyle!

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You son of a bitch!

I won't let you win!

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Mr. President...

there's something

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about the "Family Guy" writing

staff I think you should know.

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And now the thrilling

conclusion of "Cartoon Wars"...

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will not be seen tonight

so that we can bring you

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this "Terrance & Phillip"

television special!

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Say, Terrance, isn't it

wonderful having a holiday

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here at the Lazy "J" ranch?

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It sure is, Phillip.

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But I do believe this steer

I'm riding has the farts.

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Oh!

Look who's coming!

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Isn't that Muhammad, the holy

prophet of the Muslim religion?

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Hey, guys.

How's it going?

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Hello, Muhammad.

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We've read all aboot you

in the Qur'an.

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I'm here to investigate

a murder.

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All right! Just what

the hell is going on here?!

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You censored out

the image of Muhammad

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in our television special!

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Eh.

You guys know the rules.

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Nobody can show the image

of Muhammad anymore.

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- It's dangerous.

- But you ruined the whole show!

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Look, I'm not going to risk

the lives

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of the people at this network.

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Let's just forget aboot it,

okay, guys?

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Oh, come on, guys.

Give me a break.

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We demand you rerun

"Mystery at the Lazy 'J' Ranch"

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with Muhammad uncensored!

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Eh! I run this network,

not you guys!

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And if you ask me,

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your show has become

so preachy and full of messages

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that you've forgotten

how to be funny!

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No Muhammad!

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But "Family Guy"

is going to show Muhammad

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on an episode that airs tonight!

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I doubt it!

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I'll bet that right now,

somebody is on their way

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to Fox network to demand that

that episode be pulled!

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Ma'am, I need to speak with

the president of this network

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right away.

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What is it regarding?

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It's regarding "Family Guy."

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I demand the Muhammad episode be

pulled before it airs tonight.

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It's incendiary,

it's offensive to Muslims,

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and people can get hurt.

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It's wrong.

It's wro-o-o-ng!

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Okay, but if you've got

a problem with "Family Guy,"

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you'll have to wait in line.

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That little boy over there

has an appointment

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to try and get "Family Guy"

off the air altogether.

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Dude, can I go before you?

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Eat my shorts.

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What the hell is going on?

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Hello?

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Excuse me?

I need to get to Los Angeles.

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Hey!

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Hello?!

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...starting in a small town

in central Colorado,

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the idea has now spread

all over America.

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Muslims continue to riot

in the Middle East,

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demanding that "Family Guy"

not air tonight's episode.

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And Muslim terrorists continue

to make threats.

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Osama bin Laden

had this to say.

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Bin Laden went on to say

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that if "Family Guy" shows the

image of Muhammad as planned,

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the terrorist retaliation

will be immediate.

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- You one of them?

- Who?

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How come your head

ain't in the sand?

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So...you don't like "Family Guy"

either, huh?

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I hate "Family Guy."

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So what's your plan?

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You gonna ask the president

of the network nicely

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to take it off the air?

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Not nicely.

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Look, kid,

if you hate a TV show,

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all you have to do

is get an episode pulled.

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Pretty soon the show

is compromised,

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and it goes off the air.

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Cool, man!

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Yes.

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So my plan is to use

this whole Muhammad thing

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as a way to scare the network

into pulling tonight's show.

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I'm going to use fear

to get them to do what I want.

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Isn't that like terrorism?

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No, it isn't like terrorism.

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It is terrorism.

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I can do that!

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This is manipulation

at its highest level.

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You should let me handle this.

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I'm a pretty bad kid.

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Really? What's the worst thing

you've ever done?

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I stole the head

off a statue once.

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Wow.

That's pretty hard-core.

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Geez.

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That's like this one time

when I didn't like a kid,

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so I ground his parents up

into chili and fed it to him.

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You got it, man.

You got it.

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See ya.

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I want to assure the American

people that as president,

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I have exhausted

every possible solution.

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Unfortunately,

Muhammad will appear uncensored

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on "Family Guy" tonight at 7:00.

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Mr. President! Mr. President!

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Mr. President, can't the writers

of the show be reasoned with?

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Don't they know they're putting

the country in danger?

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I have come to understand

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something about the "Family Guy"

writing staff.

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Suffice it to say that they

will not be persuaded

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by the possibility of violence.

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Mr. President! Mr. President!

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Mr. President!

Mr. President!

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What exactly did you learn

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about the "Family Guy"

writing staff, Mr. President?

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I'm afraid that information

is classified.

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Aww!

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Mr. President!

Mr. President!

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Mr. President, can't you force

the "Family Guy" writing staff

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not to write anything

about Muhammad?

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Couldn't you throw them

in prison?

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Look, the fact of the matter is

the "Family Guy" writing staff

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is protected by something

called the First Amendment.

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And what exactly is this

First Amendment, Mr. President?

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You know --

right to free speech.

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Aww!

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Mr. President! Mr. President!

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Mr. President!

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Mr. President,

when your administration

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came up with

this First Amendment,

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did it not foresee a problem

like this might happen?

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Well, we didn't come up with

the First Amendment.

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It was already in place.

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What do you intend to do

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about this First Amendment,

Mr. President?

00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,724

Forgive me, Mr. President,

but this First Amendment

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sounds like a lot

of bureaucratic jibbery-joo.

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- Yeah!

- That's right!

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Okay.

Let's discuss the fall lineup.

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Sir, there's still

one little boy out here

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who wants to speak with you

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about pulling

the "Family Guy" episode.

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All right.

Let's get this over with.

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Hello, gentlemen, ladies.

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My name is little Danny Pocket,

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and I won't take

much of your time.

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Please excuse my tiny crutch.

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It's the only way

I can get around these days.

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Ow.

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- Oh, poor kid.

- Poor kid. Yeah.

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You see, my father

worked for a newspaper

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in my native country of Denmark.

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His newspaper showed

an image of Muhammad,

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and two days later, terrorists

suicide-bombed his building.

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I was in the lobby

when it happened.

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First one terrorist

suicide-bombed us,

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and then dozens more.

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They just kept coming --

00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,150

suicide bombers running

in the building

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and blowing up,

one after another.

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They were like

Mexican jumping beans.

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I just don't want to see people

here at your studio getting hurt

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because that would be,

of course, your responsibility.

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Ow.

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I feel terrible.

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It's so easy to put

terrorism out of mind

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until one of its victims

is staring you in the face.

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Sir, if we pull the episode,

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the "Family Guy" writing staff

will refuse to work again.

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Little boy, will you talk to

the "Family Guy" writing staff?

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If your story touches

their hearts like it has ours,

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perhaps they'll back down from

demanding we air the episode.

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- I'll certainly do my best.

- Ow.

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Take this noble child over

to the "Family Guy" offices.

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If he can scare them

like he has us,

00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,363

maybe we can pull

the Muhammad episode after all.

00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,698

Yes. And then "Family Guy"

is as good as dead.

00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:52,783

What was what?

00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,620

I-I said thank you.

Thank you for listening.

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Thanks a lot for the ride.

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Hey, it's the least I could do.

00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,588

I hope you succeed, kid.

00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,174

I really don't want to see

"Family Guy" go off the air.

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I love that show!

00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,469

I'll do everything I can.

00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,806

I mean, I know it's just joke

after joke, but I like that.

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At least it doesn't get

all preachy

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and up its own ass

with messages, you know?

00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,945

Excuse me!

00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,115

Do you know which way the

network president's office is?

00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,575

Who wants to know?

00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,952

Look, my fat bastard friend

is trying to trick the network

00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,162

into getting "Family Guy"

off the air.

00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,208

The network president's office

is in there.

00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,336

Oh.

Thanks, dude.

00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,130

No problem, man.

00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,134

Hello?

00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,553

This can't be right. I --

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Cowabunga, motherfucker!

00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,520

Hello, Mitchell.

00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:04,855

Oh, hi, Ms. Travis.

00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,774

The president has asked

that little Danny Pocket here

00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,235

speak with the "Family Guy"

writing staff.

00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,653

Are you sure?

00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,655

They're working on

a new episode right now.

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,865

It won't take long, sir.

00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,908

Ow.

00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,243

All right.

I'll take him back.

00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,245

Follow me, little Danny.

00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,830

You must be excited.

00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,832

Not many people get to meet

our writing staff.

00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,375

Yes.

I'm totally excited.

00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,419

"Family Guy" is so funny.

00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,297

Well, here we are.

00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,133

Danny, the "Family Guy"

writing staff.

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,302

What?

00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,728

- What are they?

- They're manatees.

00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,230

Gretchen and Flubber

are from the Gulf of Mexico.

00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,316

Tigger, Pete, and Lucy

are from the Caribbean Sea.

00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,569

"Family Guy" is written

by manatees?

00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,447

Of course.

It all makes sense now.

00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,074

They really are

brilliant creatures.

00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,035

You see, the right side of the

tank is filled with idea balls.

00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,079

Each idea ball has a verb, noun,

00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,830

or pop-culture reference

written on it.

00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:04,873

There's millions of them.

00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,084

The manatees choose an idea ball

00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,711

and swim it to the joke combine

on the other side of the tank.

00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:13,090

There goes Gretchen!

She's coming up with an idea!

00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,175

Oh, she came up

with Gary Coleman.

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,302

The idea balls

drop into the joke combine

00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,429

and form a part

of the new script.

00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:24,267

"Laundry," "date," "winning,"

"Mexico," "Gary Coleman."

00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,602

A perfect "Family Guy" joke!

00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,646

I can see it now!

00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,524

Peter, you didn't do the laundry

today.

00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,234

You think that's bad?

00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,613

Remember the time I won a date

to Mexico with Gary Coleman?

00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,032

¿Qué pasó, señors?

00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,784

What you talking 'bout, Willis?

00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:41,827

W-Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,287

These manatees demanded

that Muhammad be shown?

00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,997

How?

Manatees don't talk!

00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,333

When Fox censored the image

of Muhammad last week,

00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,793

it also meant

that the Muhammad ball

00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,045

had to come out

of the idea tank.

00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,506

It made the manatees very upset.

00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,050

Pull just one idea ball

out of the idea tank,

00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,802

and the manatees stop working.

00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,387

Here. I'll show you.

Keith?

00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,273

All right. All right.

Put it back in!

00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,402

Manatees are

very ethical writers.

00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,238

Either everything is okay

to write about or nothing is.

00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,031

Anyway, the president

of the network

00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,992

wanted you to speak

with the manatees?

00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,994

Oh.

Yes, yes.

00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,329

Um...hello, manatees.

00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,873

I-I think you should allow

the network

00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,624

to pull your episode

with Muhammad.

00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,710

See, I'm the victim

of a-a terrorist attack,

00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,670

and terrorists might

come after you if --

00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,756

- That isn't gonna work on them.

- Why not?

00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,758

Don't you know anything

about manatees?

00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,843

They're the only mammals

that are completely unmoved

00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,678

by terrorist threats.

00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,806

Son of a bitch.

00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,019

Let me out of here, kid.

Why are you doing this?!

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,605

Well, well, well.

00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,900

- Cartman!

- Hello, Kyle.

00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,651

Looks like you've run into

a little snag

00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,903

in your plan as well.

00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362

You fat son of a bitch!

00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,615

You came so close to

stopping me, didn't you, Kyle?

00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,283

There was just one thing

you didn't count on --

00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,119

that more people besides me

hate "Family Guy."

00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,871

Yeah.

00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,831

Well, a lot of people like

"Family Guy," too!

00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,750

Who are you to decide

it shouldn't be on the air?!

00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,294

Shut up!

You shut your fucking face, man!

00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,295

Did it work?

00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,756

Did you scare the network

into pulling the episode?

00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,801

Not yet, but I've come up

with a new plan.

00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,928

I've learned how to make

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:23,970

stop working.

00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,764

As soon as everyone goes

on their lunch break,

00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,057

I can sneak back in.

00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,225

Cool, man.

00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,435

Cartman, let me out

of this stupid net!

00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,394

Good, Kyle!

00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,813

That's good anger

you're showing there!

00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,647

You see that?

00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,940

That's emotional

character development

00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,108

based on what's happening

in the story line.

00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,860

Not at all like "Family Guy."

00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,404

Now, if you'll excuse me, Kyle,

00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:45,242

I've got some idea balls

to remove from a manatee tank.

00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,744

What?!

00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,746

I don't understand it.

00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,873

What's wrong with them?

00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,170

We don't know, Mr. President.

They just stopped working.

00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,215

But nobody took any idea balls

out of the tank, did they?

00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,592

No, sir.

None of us did.

00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,678

Then why are they refusing

to write?

00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,222

I agreed to show Muhammad

uncensored!

00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,932

I did what you asked!

00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,101

What do you want from me?!

00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,185

Sir, sir.

00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,605

If you don't mind my saying,

I think you asked for this.

00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,149

You gave in to the manatees

last week.

00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,901

Now they know all they

have to do is refuse to work

00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,361

and they can get

whatever they want.

00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,071

You've spoiled them

by caving in.

00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,906

Now they think they can walk

all over you.

00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,410

Sir, you are in charge

of this network, not them.

00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,955

Maybe it's time you showed them

who's in charge.

00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582

You're right.

00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,126

It's time I stop letting

these prima donna manatees

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,377

tell me what to do!

00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,254

I'm pulling

the Muhammad episode!

00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,171

You got that?!

00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,923

And if you all don't

want to work tomorrow,

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,758

you can just find other jobs!

00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,760

How long before "Family Guy"

is supposed to air?

00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,887

25 minutes.

00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,722

I got to hurry!

00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,682

I did it.

00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,810

I...am...God!

00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,771

♪ "Family Guy"

is goin' off the air ♪

00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,940

♪ No more "Family Guy" for me,

mon frère ♪

00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,775

Cartman!

00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,570

You fucking fat ass.

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,946

How the hell did you get out?

00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,073

That kid and I had a long talk.

00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,867

I told him he was

on a slippery slope

00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,702

to becoming a monster like you.

00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,620

Oh, God damn it,

00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,496

you gave him one of your gay

little speeches, didn't you?

00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,082

You are not killing

"Family Guy."

00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,125

You're too late, Kyle.

00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,085

The president of the network

is pulling the episode.

00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046

"Family Guy" is as good as dead.

00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881

There's still time to tell

the network president

00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,257

you're full of crap!

00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,009

I can't let you do that.

00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,552

Get out of my way

or I'll kick your ass!

00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,387

Fine, Kyle.

00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,014

I guess it was inevitable.

00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,684

Let this be our final battle.

00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,522

Aah!

00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,691

Ow. Ow!

Stop it!

00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,443

Kyle, that's too hard!

Ow!

00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,195

Kyle, stop it!

00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,363

Ow! Quit it!

00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,739

Quit it, Kyle!

Let -- Kyle!

00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,829

- Stop it!

- Quit it!

00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,581

Quit it, Kyle!

Let -- Kyle!

00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,458

Let -- Okay, okay.

Time out!

00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,961

Time out! Kyle! Time out!

Time out! Time out!

00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,587

Time in!

00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,590

I -- Ow!

00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,510

Okay, okay! Time out! Kyle!

Time out! Time out! Time out!

00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,136

- No more time-outs, fat-ass!

- Time out! Time out! Time out!

00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,805

Time out, Kyle.

00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,317

Kyle --

00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,610

Get the -- Kyle.

00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,487

Kyle, dude, that was --

that was in the balls!

00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,614

Dude, seriously! Seriously!

That was in the balls!

00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,450

No hitting --

No hitting in the balls!

00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:35,954

Kyle.

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,173

Let me up, Kyle!

00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,300

Let me up, Kyle!

00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,640

Okay.

00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,976

Stop it!

Okay, okay, okay!

00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,561

You win!

00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,147

You win.

I give up.

00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,526

Ha ha!

I had my fingers crossed.

00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,826

Thanks, kid.

00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,620

Network control,

this is the president.

00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,456

I want you to pull the episode.

00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,124

What?

00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,168

Mr. President, are you sure?

00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,753

I'm sure.

00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,048

Begin episode jettison sequence

0-2-900.

00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,928

Abort system initiated.

00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,305

Awaiting confirmation.

00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,807

Mr. President, we need

your final approval code.

00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,810

Presidential approval code

zero, zero, destruct--

00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,354

Sir! Mr. Television executive!

Stop!

00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,981

- Who are you?

- Listen to me.

00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,067

The little boy who convinced you

to pull the episode

00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,193

is a bastard child.

00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,235

He only wants you to pull it

00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,863

because he knows it will be

the end of "Family Guy" forever.

00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,114

The end of "Family Guy"?

00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,450

Mr. President,

we need final authorization.

00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,660

Hold on, Julie.

What are you talking about, kid?

00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,245

Pulling an episode

because somebody is offended

00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,538

starts a chain reaction.

00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,082

You'll have to pull

more and more episodes

00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,792

until the show goes off the air

completely.

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,460

It's what happened

to "Laverne & Shirley"!

00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,172

You mean...the manatees aren't

trying to run the network?

00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,091

What manatees?

00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,344

Go ahead, Mr. President.

Continue what you were doing.

00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,721

No! You have to show Muhammad,

Mr. President!

00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,807

Mr. President,

we're awaiting your orders!

00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,476

Sir, just think about what

you're doing to free speech.

00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,228

No. Think about the people

who could get hurt!

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,772

I-I don't know who to listen to!

00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,108

Okay.

I'll make it easy for you.

00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,110

Pull the Muhammad episode now!

00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,237

Okay. I'll listen to you.

Julie?

00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,405

No! Wait!

You can't listen to him!

00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,740

He's a lying, deceitful monster

00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,408

who only wants "Family Guy"

off the air!

00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,493

But he has a gun.

00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,161

You can't do what he wants

00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,580

just because he's the one

threatening you with violence!

00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,790

Shut up, Kyle!

00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,209

I can't be responsible

for people getting hurt.

00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,210

Especially me.

00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,547

Yes. People can get hurt.

That's how terrorism works.

00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,090

But if you give in to that,

Doug,

00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,008

you're allowing terrorism

to work.

00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,593

Do the right thing here.

00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,512

Give the orders to pull

the episode, Mr. President.

00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,597

I shouldn't even be

in the office still!

00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,142

It's supposed to be

half-day Fridays!

00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,977

Mr. President,

30 seconds to airtime.

00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,436

What do you want us to do?

00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,272

Do the right thing,

Mr. President.

00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,023

How about I allow the episode

to air

00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,151

but just censor out

the image of Muhammad again?

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,402

I wish that was good enough.

00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,028

But if you censor out Muhammad,

00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,989

then soon you'll have to

censor out more.

00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,740

No gay speeches, Kyle!

00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,285

If you don't show Muhammad,

then you've made a distinction

00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,871

between what is okay

to poke fun at and what isn't.

00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,498

Either it's all okay

or none of it is.

00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,000

Five seconds, Mr. President!

00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,212

Do the right thing.

Show Muhammad.

00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,757

Do the right thing.

00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,385

Mr. President,

we need a decision now!

00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:44,184

"Family Guy" goes on air

as planned, uncensored.

00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,810

- Yes!

- No!

00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,145

No!

I hate "Family Guy"!

00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,942

Air it!

00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,950

Peter, you got a pink slip

at work?

00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,911

You think that's bad?

00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,039

Remember the time I got

a salmon helmet from Muhammad

00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415

while wearing a toga?

00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,252

Coming, Muhammad!

00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,391

Wow!

A salmon helmet!

00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,185

Thanks!

00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,103

Anyway, what were we

talking about?

00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,105

Oh, yeah.

My pink slip.

00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,775

Hey, that wasn't bad at all.

00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,945

They just showed Muhammad

standing there, looking normal!

00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,697

Mr. President, the terrorists

are retaliating!

00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,366

- What?!

- Remember the time I --

00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,493

And as soon as the image

of Muhammad appeared,

00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,746

terrorist leader al-Zawahiri

announced the retaliation.

00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,097

Hello!

I am American!

00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,682

I am American, too!

00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,392

We like to crap on each other!

00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,188

Hello. I am the President Bush.

I will crap on both you.

00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,189

Oh!

00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,649

We love to crap!

00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,900

I'm American!

00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,027

I'm pregnant with a baby,

but I'm not married.

00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,570

Let's crap!

00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,198

Look at me.

I'm Jesus.

00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,993

Would you like for me

to crap on you, Mr. Bush?

00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,621

Mmm! Yummy, Yummy crap!

00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:36,530

В предыдущей серии Саут Парка.

00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:42,078

Популярный мультсериал Гриффины

собирается показать изображение Мухаммеда, без купюр!

00:00:42,118 --> 00:00:44,378

Если мы все закопаем свои головы в песок

00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:46,698

то сможем избежать какой-либо причастности к этому.

00:00:46,738 --> 00:00:48,168

Я сделаю всё, что смогу…

00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:50,738

…чтобы снять этот эпизод с эфира до того,

как всё выйдет из-под контроля.

00:00:50,778 --> 00:00:52,858

Ты ведь просто хотел убрать из эфира Гриффинов…

00:00:54,098 --> 00:00:55,198

Кайл, прекрати!

00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:56,688

Покеда, Кайл!

00:00:56,728 --> 00:00:59,248

Сукин сын! Я не дам тебе победить!

00:00:59,278 --> 00:01:04,278

Господин Президент.

Полагаю, вы должны кое-что узнать об авторах Гриффинов.

00:01:04,318 --> 00:01:09,148

А сейчас ужасающий финал Мультипликационных Войн…

00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:11,038

…мы вам не покажем!

00:01:11,078 --> 00:01:14,658

Так что предлагаем вашему вниманию следующее

- "Специальный выпуск Терранса и Филлипа"!

00:01:23,928 --> 00:01:27,818

Слушай, Терранс, а правда, ведь, здорово проводить каникулы

здесь, на "Ранчо Ленивого Джея"?

00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:29,398

Так и есть, Филлип.

00:01:29,438 --> 00:01:31,998

Но я полагаю, что у бычка, на котором я еду газы.

00:01:35,298 --> 00:01:36,728

Ой, смотри, кто идёт!

00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:40,148

А не Мухаммед ли это - святой пророк мусульманской веры?

00:01:42,718 --> 00:01:44,708

Здорово, ребята. Как дела?

00:01:44,748 --> 00:01:48,638

Привет, Мухаммед. Мы читали о тебе в Коране.

00:01:48,668 --> 00:01:50,138

Я приехал, чтобы расследовать убийство.

00:01:50,168 --> 00:01:53,398

Так! И что за херня здесь происходит?!!!

00:01:53,438 --> 00:01:56,768

Вы вырезали изображение Мухаммеда в нашем специальном выпуске!!!

00:01:56,798 --> 00:01:58,628

Эй! Вы знаете правила!

00:01:58,668 --> 00:02:01,108

Показывать Мухаммеда больше нельзя никому. Это опасно.

00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,788

Но вы испортили всю серию!

00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:05,268

Послушайте, я не собираюсь рисковать жизнями людей на этом телеканале.

00:02:05,298 --> 00:02:06,718

Давайте просто забудем об этом, ладно?

00:02:08,918 --> 00:02:11,188

Да ладно, ребят, прекращайте.

00:02:11,228 --> 00:02:14,008

Мы требуем, чтобы вы вернули "Загадку на Ранчо "Ленивого Джея"

00:02:14,048 --> 00:02:15,568

с Мухаммедом без купюр!

00:02:15,598 --> 00:02:17,488

Эй! Это мой канал, а не ваш!

00:02:17,518 --> 00:02:18,408

И если вы меня спросите -

00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:20,228

ваше шоу стало таким нравоучительным и полным глубокого смысла,

00:02:20,268 --> 00:02:21,248

...что вы просто забыли, как это быть смешными!

00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:22,308

Никакого Мухаммеда!

00:02:22,348 --> 00:02:25,638

Но Гриффины собираются показать Мухаммеда в сегодняшней серии!

00:02:25,668 --> 00:02:26,718

Сомневаюсь!

00:02:26,758 --> 00:02:29,298

Готов поспорить, что прямо сейчас

кто-то держит путь к студии Фокс...

00:02:29,328 --> 00:02:31,308

...чтобы потребовать снять эпизод с эфира.

00:02:42,178 --> 00:02:46,108

Мадам, мне срочно необходимо поговорить с президентом канала.

00:02:46,148 --> 00:02:47,458

Касательно чего?

00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:49,398

Касательно Гриффинов.

00:02:49,428 --> 00:02:52,288

Я требую, чтобы эпизод с Мухаммедом был снят с сегодняшнего эфира!

00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:55,988

Он провокационный, он оскорбительный для мусульман,

и могут пострадать люди!

00:02:56,028 --> 00:02:56,878

Так нельзя!

00:02:56,918 --> 00:02:58,098

НЕЛЬЗЯ!

00:02:58,128 --> 00:03:02,698

Ладно…Но если у вас претензии к Гриффинам,

то придется подождать в очереди.

00:03:02,728 --> 00:03:06,938

Вон тот мальчик тоже ждет приёма,

чтобы попытаться снять Гриффинов с эфира.

00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:11,948

Чувак, можно перед тобой пройти?

00:03:11,978 --> 00:03:13,288

Съешь мои трусы!

00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:21,798

Что здесь за херня творится?

00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:29,178

Извините, мне нужно в Лос-Анджелес.

00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,028

Эй?

00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,208

Э-эй?

00:03:37,358 --> 00:03:40,268

…началось в маленьком городке в центральной части Колорадо.

00:03:40,358 --> 00:03:43,338

В настоящий момент идея получила распространение по всей Америке.

00:03:43,378 --> 00:03:46,178

На Среднем Востоке продолжают митинговать мусульмане...

00:03:46,218 --> 00:03:48,988

...требуя, чтобы Гриффины не показывали

сегодняшнюю серию.

00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:52,348

А мусульманские террористы продолжают угрожать.

00:03:53,498 --> 00:03:56,268

Гриффинам лучше не показывать сегодня Мухаммеда.

00:03:56,308 --> 00:04:00,518

Я не шучу. Гриффины - это не смешно.

00:04:00,558 --> 00:04:02,908

Усама Бин Ладен заявил следующее:

00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:07,438

Если присмотреться к сценарию Гриффинов...

00:04:07,468 --> 00:04:11,608

....то можно увидеть, что шутки не связаны с сюжетом...

00:04:11,638 --> 00:04:15,368

...и по-моему, это полный отстой.

00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:17,508

В продолжении, Бин Ладен сказал...

00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:22,868

что если Гриффины покажут изображение Мухаммеда,

то возмездие террористов будет незамедлительным.

00:04:23,538 --> 00:04:25,998

Ты один из них?

00:04:26,028 --> 00:04:27,078

Из кого?

00:04:27,108 --> 00:04:28,768

Как так вышло, что твоя голова не в песке?

00:04:36,428 --> 00:04:39,738

Значит…ты тоже не любишь Гриффинов, да?

00:04:39,778 --> 00:04:43,168

Ненавижу Гриффинов.

00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,108

И какой у тебя план?

00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:47,858

Ты любезно попросишь президента компании снять их с эфира?

00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:50,338

Не любезно.

00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:55,298

Слушай, пацан, если ты ненавидишь сериал -

всё, что нужно - это снять с эфира один эпизод.

00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,848

Довольно скоро сериал себя скомпрометирует

и его снимут с эфира.

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Круто, блин.

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Да. Так вот, мой план в том...

00:05:00,878 --> 00:05:03,668

чтобы использовать всё это дело с Мухаммедом,

как способ запугать телекомпанию

00:05:03,698 --> 00:05:04,768

чтобы они сняли сегодняшний эпизод.

00:05:04,808 --> 00:05:07,268

При помощи страха

заставлю их сделать то, что мне нужно.

00:05:07,298 --> 00:05:09,958

А это не смахивает на терроризм

00:05:09,998 --> 00:05:12,638

Нет. Это не смахивает на терроризм.

00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:14,308

Это и есть терроризм.

00:05:14,338 --> 00:05:15,888

Могу взять это на себя.

00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:18,558

Это манипуляция высшего порядка,

позволь уж мне всё устроить.

00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:20,138

Я довольно хулиганистый парень.

00:05:20,178 --> 00:05:22,468

Правда? И что ты сделал в жизни наихудшего?

00:05:22,508 --> 00:05:24,768

Как-то стырил голову у памятника.

00:05:24,798 --> 00:05:27,878

Ух-ты, вот это круто. Блин.

00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:30,378

Прямо как тогда, когда мне не понравился один парниша...

00:05:30,408 --> 00:05:33,288

...и я порубил его предков в чили и скормил всё это ему.

00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:38,438

Да, лучше уж ты. Лучше ты.

00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,468

Пока.

00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:46,278

Хочу заверить Американскую общественность,

00:05:46,318 --> 00:05:49,918

что как президент, я исчерпал все возможные решения.

00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:55,958

К сожалению, Мухаммед будет показан сегодня в семь в Гриффинах,

без купюр.

00:05:55,998 --> 00:05:57,178

Господин президент!

00:05:57,208 --> 00:06:00,748

Господин президент, а нельзя ли переубедить авторов сериала?

00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:02,598

Они разве не знают, что этим они подвергают опасности нашу страну?

00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:08,268

Я кое-что понял об авторах Гриффинов.

00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:13,678

Достаточно будет сказать, что возможное насилие их не остановит.

00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,438

Господин президент!

00:06:16,438 --> 00:06:19,928

А что именно вы узнали об авторах Гриффинов,

господин Президент?

00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,378

Боюсь, эта информация секретна.

00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:25,108

Блииииин!

00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:27,008

Господин президент!

00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:32,078

Господин президент,

а вы не могли бы заставить авторов Гриффинов не писать о Мухаммеде?

00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:33,498

А вы не могли бы бросить их за решетку?

00:06:33,538 --> 00:06:34,188

Послушайте!

00:06:34,218 --> 00:06:40,218

Дело в том, что авторы Гриффинов защищены тем,

что мы называем "Первая Поправка"!

00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:44,218

Господин президент, а что такое эта "Первая Поправка"?

00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:48,608

Ну знаете, это право на свободу слова.

00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:57,768

Господин президент, а когда ваша администрация

придумала эту "Первую Поправку"...

00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:00,488

разве вы не предвидели возникновения подобных проблем?

00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:04,568

Вообще-то…Мы не придумывали Первую Поправку.

00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:06,058

Она уже была до нас.

00:07:06,088 --> 00:07:10,008

А что вы намерены предпринять по поводу этой

"Первой Поправки", господин президент?

00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:13,278

Прошу простить, господин президент,

но эта "Первая Поправка"...

00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,958

похожа на обычную бюрократическую заморочку.

00:07:15,988 --> 00:07:17,208

Точно!!!

00:07:21,668 --> 00:07:24,168

Ладно, обсудим наш план на осень.

00:07:24,208 --> 00:07:26,268

Сэр, там всё еще сидит мальчик...

00:07:26,298 --> 00:07:28,888

...который хочет поговорить с вами

насчет снятия с эфира серии Гриффинов.

00:07:28,928 --> 00:07:30,798

Хорошо, давайте разберемся с этим.

00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:35,098

Приветствую вас господа, дамы.

00:07:35,128 --> 00:07:37,288

Меня зовут малыш Дэнни Покет.

00:07:37,328 --> 00:07:38,848

И я не займу у вас много времени.

00:07:38,878 --> 00:07:40,758

Прошу извинить меня за этот костылик,

00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:42,838

но сегодня это для меня единственная возможность передвижения.

00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:43,718

Ой…

00:07:43,758 --> 00:07:45,898

Бедный мальчонка.

00:07:45,928 --> 00:07:50,168

Понимаете, мой отец работал в газете в моей родной Дании.

00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,998

Его газета опубликовала изображение Мухаммеда...

00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:55,318

...и, два дня спустя, террорист-смертник взорвал здание.

00:07:55,358 --> 00:07:57,278

Я был в вестибюле, когда это произошло.

00:07:57,318 --> 00:08:00,598

Сначала один террорист-смертник взорвал нас, а затем десятки других.

00:08:00,628 --> 00:08:01,938

Они шли потоком.

00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,898

Террористы-смертники вбегали в здание и взрывались один за другим!

00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:06,958

Прямо как попкорн.

00:08:08,728 --> 00:08:11,848

Я просто не хочу, чтобы здесь,

в вашей телекомпании пострадали люди...

00:08:11,878 --> 00:08:14,878

потому, что…это несомненно будет на вашей совести.

00:08:15,918 --> 00:08:17,198

Ой…

00:08:17,228 --> 00:08:19,578

У меня ужасные чувства.

00:08:19,618 --> 00:08:24,728

Так легко не думать о терроризме,

пока одна из жертв не посмотрит тебе прямо в глаза.

00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:29,438

Сэр, если мы снимем эпизод с эфира,

авторы Гриффинов откажутся работать дальше.

00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:33,198

Мальчик, а ты не хочешь поговорить с авторами Гриффинов?

00:08:33,228 --> 00:08:36,888

Если твоя история тронет их сердца, как тронула наши...

00:08:36,928 --> 00:08:40,368

...может, они не станут требовать,

чтобы мы показали этот эпизод?

00:08:40,398 --> 00:08:41,798

Буду стараться изо всех сил.

00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:42,818

Ай.

00:08:42,858 --> 00:08:44,868

Отведите это благородное дитя в офис Гриффинов.

00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:49,618

Если он напугает их, как нас, может,

мы в конце концов снимем этот эпизод с эфира.

00:08:49,658 --> 00:08:51,868

Ага, и считайте, что Гриффинам капец.

00:08:51,908 --> 00:08:52,938

Что ты сказал?

00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:55,828

Говорю, спасибо. Спасибо, что выслушали.

00:09:01,948 --> 00:09:03,408

Большое спасибо, что подбросили.

00:09:03,438 --> 00:09:05,118

Это меньшее, что я мог сделать.

00:09:05,148 --> 00:09:06,938

Надеюсь, парень, у тебя всё получится.

00:09:06,978 --> 00:09:09,618

Очень не хочу, чтобы Гриффинов сняли с эфира.

00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:10,928

Обожаю этот сериал!

00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,598

Сделаю всё, что смогу.

00:09:12,628 --> 00:09:16,088

Я, конечно, понимаю, что там просто шутка за шуткой,

но мне это нравится.

00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:17,758

По крайней мере они не скатываются в проповедничество

00:09:17,798 --> 00:09:19,798

и не заморачиваются с поучениями.

00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:28,288

"НЕНАВИЖУ ГРИФФИНОВ"

00:09:29,788 --> 00:09:33,418

Прости, ты не знаешь где офис президента телеканала?

00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,798

А кто спрашивает?

00:09:34,838 --> 00:09:37,698

Послушай. Мой жирный дружок-ублюдок

хочет обдурить телекомпанию...

00:09:37,728 --> 00:09:39,968

...чтобы они сняли Гриффинов с эфира.

00:09:39,998 --> 00:09:43,668

Офис президента телекомпании вон там!

00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:46,328

Спасибо, чувак.

00:09:46,358 --> 00:09:48,038

Всегда пожалуйста, дружище.

00:09:50,638 --> 00:09:53,888

Э-эй? Не похоже на…

00:09:55,568 --> 00:09:57,568

Спокойной ночи, долбо..б!

00:10:02,548 --> 00:10:03,360

Привет, Митчел.

00:10:03,591 --> 00:10:04,751

Ой, здрасте, Мисс Трэвис.

00:10:05,134 --> 00:10:10,464

Президент попросил Дэнни Покета поговорить с авторами Гриффинов.

00:10:10,494 --> 00:10:12,074

Вы…уверены?

00:10:12,104 --> 00:10:13,994

Они сейчас работают над новой серией.

00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:17,134

Я быстро, сэр. Ой…

00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:18,614

Ну ладно. Отведу его.

00:10:18,644 --> 00:10:19,814

Идем, маленький Дэнни.

00:10:19,844 --> 00:10:24,054

Наверное, ты волнуешься.

Не многие встречались с нашими авторами.

00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:27,144

Да, жутко волнуюсь.

Гриффины такие смешные.

00:10:27,874 --> 00:10:29,924

Вот мы и пришли.

00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:33,344

Дэнни, это авторы Гриффинов.

00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,054

Чё?

00:10:42,494 --> 00:10:44,194

А что они такое?

00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:45,104

Они - ламантины.

00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,234

Гретхен и Флаббер из Мексиканского залива.

00:10:47,264 --> 00:10:49,674

Тинкер, Пит и Люси - из Карибского моря.

00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,764

Гриффинов пишут ламантины?

00:10:52,804 --> 00:10:55,424

Ну конечно же. Теперь всё становится на свои места.

00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:57,344

Они просто гениальные создания.

00:10:57,374 --> 00:11:00,204

Видишь, правая сторона аквариума заполнена мячами с идеями.

00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:04,124

На каждом мяче написан глагол, существительное

или референс на предмет поп-культуры.

00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,334

Их там миллионы.

00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,354

Ламантины выбирают мяч с идеей...

00:11:07,394 --> 00:11:10,074

и плывут с ней к шутко-объединителю

на другую сторону аквариума.

00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,314

Вон плывет Гретхен!

00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:12,384

У неё назревает идея.

00:11:13,314 --> 00:11:15,564

О, идея с Гари Колманом.

00:11:15,604 --> 00:11:18,944

Идея попадает в шутко-объединитель

и образует главу нового сценария.

00:11:20,354 --> 00:11:24,604

Стирка, Свидание, Выигрыш, Мексика, Гари Колман.

00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:27,104

Отличная шутка в духе Гриффинов! Я ее уже вижу!

00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:30,634

Питер, ты сегодня не постирал.

00:11:30,664 --> 00:11:32,534

Думаешь это плохо?

00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:36,814

А помнишь тот раз, когда я выиграл свидание в Мексике

с Гари Колманом?

00:11:37,724 --> 00:11:39,244

Ке паса, сеньорес?

00:11:39,274 --> 00:11:40,714

Ты о ком так базаришь, Виллис?

00:11:40,714 --> 00:11:41,864

Стойте-стойте-стойте.

00:11:41,904 --> 00:11:44,474

Эти…ламантины требуют, чтобы вы показали изображение Мухаммеда?

00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,154

Как? Ламантины не разговаривают!

00:11:46,194 --> 00:11:48,684

Когда FOX заретушировало изображение

Мухаммеда на прошлой неделе...

00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:51,934

это также означало, что мяч с Мухаммедом

нужно было убрать из аквариума с идеями.

00:11:51,964 --> 00:11:54,574

Ламантинов это очень огорчило.

00:11:54,604 --> 00:11:57,024

Как только убираешь всего лишь один мяч из аквариума...

00:11:57,054 --> 00:11:58,974

ламантины сразу же перестают работать.

00:11:59,014 --> 00:12:00,614

Сейчас продемонстрируем.

Киф?

00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:10,144

Ладно, ладно, верни его на место!

00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:15,624

Ламантины очень этичные сценаристы.

00:12:15,654 --> 00:12:18,464

Либо писать обо всём, либо вообще не писать.

00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:21,954

В любом случае, президент телеканала хотел,

чтобы ты…поговорил с ламантинами.

00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:23,644

А, да, да.

00:12:23,684 --> 00:12:26,674

Э…Здравствуйте, ламантины.

00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,454

Думаю, вы должны позволить телеканалу

убрать ваш эпизод с Мухаммедом.

00:12:29,494 --> 00:12:31,994

Понимаете, я жертва нападения террористов и…

00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,594

…террористы могут прийти к вам, если вы…

00:12:33,624 --> 00:12:35,234

С ними это не сработает.

00:12:35,274 --> 00:12:36,164

Почему не сработает?

00:12:36,204 --> 00:12:37,854

Ты ничего не знаешь о ламантинах?

00:12:37,894 --> 00:12:41,154

Это единственные млекопитающие,

полностью безразличные к угрозе терроризма.

00:12:42,574 --> 00:12:44,074

Твою же ж мать!

00:12:45,504 --> 00:12:49,114

Пацан, выпусти меня!

Зачем ты это делаешь?

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,414

Так, так, так!

00:12:53,604 --> 00:12:54,394

Картман!

00:12:54,424 --> 00:12:58,024

Привет, Кайл.

Похоже, в твоём плане тоже загвоздочка.

00:12:58,064 --> 00:12:59,524

Ты жирная тварь!

00:12:59,554 --> 00:13:01,864

А ты меня почти уже остановил, да, Кайл.

00:13:01,904 --> 00:13:05,974

Только одного ты не учёл -

кроме меня еще многие ненавидят Гриффинов.

00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:07,344

Точно!

00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:09,934

А многим Гриффины нравятся!

00:13:09,964 --> 00:13:11,874

И кто вы такие, чтобы решать, что им не место в эфире!

00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:12,624

Заткнись!

00:13:12,654 --> 00:13:14,434

Завали е…ало, чувак!

00:13:14,474 --> 00:13:15,594

Получилось?

00:13:15,634 --> 00:13:17,924

Ты запугал телекомпанию, чтобы они сняли эпизод с эфира?

00:13:17,954 --> 00:13:20,454

Ещё нет! Но я разработал новый план.

00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:24,044

Я узнал, как сделать так, чтобы сценаристыГриффинов

перестали работать!

00:13:24,084 --> 00:13:27,184

Как только все уйдут на обед, я проберусь обратно.

00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,344

Круто!

00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,694

Картман, выпусти меня из этой дурацкой сетки!!

00:13:30,724 --> 00:13:31,604

Отлично, Кайл!

00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:33,164

Ты демонстрируешь истинный гнев!

Видишь!?

00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:35,414

Это эмоциональное раскрытие персонажа,

00:13:35,444 --> 00:13:37,044

основанное на событиях, происходящих в сюжетной линии!

00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,774

Совсем не как в Гриффинах.

00:13:38,814 --> 00:13:41,484

А теперь, если позволишь, Кайл...

00:13:41,524 --> 00:13:44,914

я должен убрать пару мячей с идеями

из аквариума с ламантинами.

00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:47,224

ЧЕГО?!!

00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,144

Не понимаю. Что с ними такое?

00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:57,414

Не знаем, господин президент.

Просто перестали работать.

00:13:57,444 --> 00:14:00,594

Но ведь никто не брал мячи с идеями из аквариума,

так ведь?

00:14:00,624 --> 00:14:02,004

Нет, сэр, никто из нас не брал.

00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,714

Но почему же они отказываются писать?

00:14:04,754 --> 00:14:07,404

Я согласился показать Мухаммеда без цензуры!

00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:08,924

Я сделал всё, что вы просили!

00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,274

ЧТО ВАМ ОТ МЕНЯ НУЖНО?!!

00:14:11,304 --> 00:14:12,244

Сэр, сэр!

00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:15,774

Если не возражаете,

то я сказал бы что вы сами напросились.

00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,194

Вы уступили ламантинам на прошлой неделе.

00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:21,594

И теперь они знают, что им нужно всего лишь отказаться работать

и они получат всё, чего хотят.

00:14:21,624 --> 00:14:23,214

Своими уступками вы их разбаловали.

00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,104

Теперь они думают, что с вами можно не считаться.

00:14:25,144 --> 00:14:28,574

Сэр, ведь вы глава телекомпании, а не они.

00:14:28,614 --> 00:14:31,304

Может, пришло время показать им, кто главный.

00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:33,344

Ты прав.

00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:37,634

Пора прекратить позволять этим прима-ламантинам

указывать мне, что делать.

00:14:37,664 --> 00:14:40,344

Я снимаю с эфира эпизод с Мухаммедом, ясно вам?

00:14:40,374 --> 00:14:43,834

И если вы не захотите завтра работать - ищите другую работу!!!

00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:45,964

Сколько времени до запланированного выпуска эпизода Гриффинов?!

00:14:45,994 --> 00:14:47,104

Двадцать пять минут.

00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:48,114

Нужно торопиться!

00:14:49,644 --> 00:14:50,714

Получилось.

00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:54,324

Я - БОГ!!!

00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:59,134

Гриффинов с эфира убрали!

Чтобы меня они не доставали!

00:14:59,174 --> 00:15:00,434

КАРТМАН!!!!

00:15:01,354 --> 00:15:03,794

Е...аный жиртрест!

00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:05,094

Как ты, блин, выбрался?

00:15:05,134 --> 00:15:07,354

Мы с этим парнишкой долго говорили!

00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:11,014

И я сказал ему, что он стал на скользкую дорожку

и станет монстром, как ты!

00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:11,994

Твою ж мать!

00:15:12,034 --> 00:15:13,874

Ты произнес ему одну из своих гламурненьких речей, да?

00:15:13,904 --> 00:15:16,494

ТЫ НЕ УБЬЕШЬ ГРИФФИНОВ!!!

00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:17,334

Опоздал, Кайл.

00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:20,554

Президент снимает эпизод с эфира.

Считай, что Гриффинам хана.

00:15:20,584 --> 00:15:24,094

Но ещё есть время, чтобы сказать президенту телеканала,

что ты - мудозвон!

00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:26,524

Этого я тебе не позволю!

00:15:26,564 --> 00:15:27,984

С дороги, а то щас тумаков навешаю!

00:15:28,024 --> 00:15:31,014

Ладно, Кайл. Полагаю, это неизбежно.

00:15:32,524 --> 00:15:34,824

Пусть это будет наша финальная битва.

00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:41,314

Ой.

ОЙ!

00:15:41,354 --> 00:15:43,304

Кайл, блин, больно!

00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:43,914

Ай!

00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,744

Ай!

Прекращай!

00:15:52,784 --> 00:15:54,324

Ой, Хорош!

00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,344

Завязывай, Кайл!

00:15:57,314 --> 00:15:58,944

Ладно, ладно, тайм аут.

00:15:58,984 --> 00:15:59,894

Кайл, тайм аут!

00:16:01,384 --> 00:16:02,114

Кончился тайм-аут!

00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:07,314

Ладно, ладно, тайм аут.

00:16:07,354 --> 00:16:09,884

Все тайм ауты вышли, жопа жирная!

00:16:09,914 --> 00:16:11,174

Тайм аут! Тайм аут!

00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,394

Кайл! Кайл!

00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,924

Кайл, блин, прям по яйцам!

00:16:26,964 --> 00:16:29,434

Блин, я серьезно!

Прям по яйцам!

00:16:29,464 --> 00:16:31,144

По яйцам не бить!

00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,194

Хватит, Кайл.

00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:49,294

Прекращай, Кайл!

00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,654

Ладно, ладно!

00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:58,374

Ладно! Ты победил!

00:16:58,404 --> 00:17:01,174

Ты победил. Сдаюсь.

00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,774

Ха-ха!

А я пальцы скрестил.

00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:14,884

Спасибо, пацан.

00:17:15,314 --> 00:17:17,734

Штаб управления Телеканалом!

Это президент!

00:17:17,764 --> 00:17:19,634

Я хочу, чтобы вы сняли эпизод с эфира.

00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:23,004

Что? Господин президент, вы уверены?

00:17:23,044 --> 00:17:28,004

Уверен.

Задействовать программу снятия эпизода 02 900.

00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:33,984

Голосовая система активирована.

00:17:34,024 --> 00:17:35,214

Ожидаем подтверждения.

00:17:35,244 --> 00:17:37,784

Господин президент,

нам нужен ваш код окончательного подтверждения.

00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,804

Президентский код подтверждения. 0-0-разрушить-

00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:41,634

Сэр!

00:17:41,664 --> 00:17:43,434

Господин телепродюсер! Остановитесь!

00:17:43,474 --> 00:17:44,624

А ты кто такой?

00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:45,284

Послушайте.

00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,884

Тот маленький мальчик,

который убедил вас снять с эфира эпизод...

00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,204

...на самом деле мелкий ублюдок.

00:17:48,244 --> 00:17:49,854

Единственное, почему он хочет убрать эпизод,

так это то...

00:17:49,884 --> 00:17:51,984

что он знает, что это положит конец Гриффинам навсегда!

00:17:52,024 --> 00:17:53,164

Конец Гриффинам?

00:17:53,194 --> 00:17:55,544

Господин президент, нам нужно окончательное подтверждение!

00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,744

Постойте, Джули! Ты о чем, парень?

00:17:57,774 --> 00:18:00,554

Снятие эпизода с эфира по причине того, что кто-то обиделся

влечет за собой цепную реакцию.

00:18:00,594 --> 00:18:03,944

Вам придется убирать эпизод за эпизодом,

пока сериал полностью не уйдет из эфира.

00:18:03,984 --> 00:18:05,574

Так случилось с "Лаверн и Ширли".

00:18:05,604 --> 00:18:09,234

Так ты говоришь, что ламантины

не пытаются управлять телеканалом?

00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:10,984

Какие еще ламантины??!!!

00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:14,224

Продолжайте, господин президент!

Делайте то, что начали.

00:18:14,264 --> 00:18:16,754

Нет! Вы должны показать Мухаммеда,

господин президент!

00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:18,914

Господин президент, мы ждем ваших распоряжений!

00:18:18,944 --> 00:18:21,464

Сэр, подумайте, что вы делаете со свободой слова!

00:18:21,504 --> 00:18:23,294

Нет! Подумайте о людях, которые могут пострадать!

00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:25,714

Не знаю, кого мне слушать!

00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,294

Ладно, облегчу вам задачу.

00:18:27,324 --> 00:18:30,314

Снимай с эфира эпизод. Быстро!

00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:32,534

Ладно, послушаю тебя.

Джули?

00:18:32,564 --> 00:18:34,554

Нет! Не слушайте его!

00:18:34,594 --> 00:18:37,544

Он лживая коварная тварь, которая только и хочет

снять Гриффинов с эфира!

00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:38,714

Но у него пистолет.

00:18:38,754 --> 00:18:42,684

Нельзя делать то, что ему нужно, потому,

что он угрожает вам насилием!

00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:43,844

Заткнись, Кайл!

00:18:43,884 --> 00:18:46,314

Но я не могу взять на себя ответственность за то, что пострадают люди.

00:18:46,354 --> 00:18:47,404

Особенно я.

00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:50,534

Да, люди могут пострадать.

Именно так терроризм и работает.

00:18:50,574 --> 00:18:54,054

Но если вы поддадитесь, Даг, вы позволите терроризму сработать.

00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:55,644

Поступите правильно.

00:18:55,674 --> 00:18:57,574

Отдайте приказ убрать эпизод, господин президент!

00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,844

А меня ведь и не должно уже было быть в офисе.

00:18:59,874 --> 00:19:01,884

Сегодня пятница, сокращенный день.

00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:05,514

Господин президент, тридцать секунд до эфира.

Что вы нам прикажете?

00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:07,374

Поступите правильно, господин президент.

00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:11,134

А что, если я пущу эпизод в эфир,

но опять вырежу изображение Мухаммеда?

00:19:11,164 --> 00:19:12,324

Хотелось бы, чтобы этого хватило...

00:19:12,324 --> 00:19:16,004

но если вы вырежете изображение Мухаммеда,

то вскоре вам придется вырезать что-то еще.

00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:17,834

Кайл, харэ тут педрические речи толкать!

00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:19,054

Если вы не покажете Мухаммеда...

00:19:19,084 --> 00:19:22,944

то вам придется разделять,

над чем можно шутить, а над чем нет.

00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:25,544

Тут либо всё, либо ничего.

00:19:25,574 --> 00:19:26,984

Пять секунд, господин президент!

00:19:27,994 --> 00:19:31,264

Поступите правильно. Покажите Мухаммеда.

00:19:32,274 --> 00:19:34,704

Поступите...правильно.

00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:37,294

Господин президент, ваше решение!

00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:43,234

Гриффины идут в эфир, как и планировалось. Без купюр.

00:19:44,904 --> 00:19:47,474

Нет! Нет! Ненавижу Гриффинов!!

00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,374

Пускайте в эфир!

00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:01,264

Питер! Тебя уволили с работы?

00:20:01,294 --> 00:20:03,064

Думаешь, ЭТО плохо?

00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:07,654

А помнишь, как в тот раз я получил от Мухаммеда

лососевый шлем, когда носил тогу?

00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:10,114

Иду, Мухаммед.

00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:16,654

В этом кадре Мухаммед вручает футбольный шлем Гриффинам.

00:20:16,684 --> 00:20:21,204

Comedy Central отказались показывать изображение Мухаммеда

на своем телеканале.

00:20:21,244 --> 00:20:26,304

Ух-ты! Лососевый шлем! Спасибо!

00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,404

Кстати, о чем мы там говорили?

00:20:29,444 --> 00:20:31,034

Ах да! Меня уволили.

00:20:31,074 --> 00:20:33,694

Эй, а это было совсем не плохо.

00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:36,824

Просто показали, что там стоял Мухаммед,

и выглядел нормально.

00:20:36,864 --> 00:20:39,694

Господин президент, террористы наносят ответный удар!

00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:40,404

Что!?

00:20:40,434 --> 00:20:41,414

Или как тогда…

00:20:41,454 --> 00:20:43,584

Как только было показано изображение Мухаммеда...

00:20:43,614 --> 00:20:46,694

...лидер террористов Аль Завари

провозгласил ответный удар!

00:20:48,244 --> 00:20:49,994

Мы предупреждали, чтобы вы не показывали Мухаммеда

00:20:50,024 --> 00:20:52,594

но Гриффины всё равно это сделали.

00:20:52,624 --> 00:20:56,054

И вот наш ответный удар Америке!!!!

00:21:02,414 --> 00:21:03,984

Здрасте, я - американец.

00:21:04,024 --> 00:21:05,534

Я тоже американец.

00:21:05,574 --> 00:21:07,404

Мы любим срать друг на друга.

00:21:09,014 --> 00:21:12,304

Привет, я - президент Буш.

Я насру на вас обоих.

00:21:12,344 --> 00:21:14,444

Обожаем срать!

00:21:14,484 --> 00:21:18,304

Я- американка. Я беременна, но я не замужем.

00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,504

Давайте срать.

00:21:19,534 --> 00:21:25,204

Смотрите на меня! Я Иисус!

Хотите, я насру на вас, мистер Буш?

00:21:25,894 --> 00:21:28,774

Мммм! Вкусные-превкусные какашки.

00:21:37,164 --> 00:21:39,044

Вот так вам и надо!

00:21:39,074 --> 00:21:44,694

Мы вас порвали!

Это было гораздо смешнее, чем Гриффины!

00:21:48,634 --> 00:21:52,764

перевод, субтитры mulder

mulder@hotbox.ru

для southpark.org.ru

00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,487

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:32,950

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,789

The popular cartoon

"Family Guy"

00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,834

is going to show the image

of Muhammad uncensored!

00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,086

If we all bury our heads

in sand,

00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,505

we can avoid being any part

of this.

00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,923

And I'm gonna do whatever I can

00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,259

to get that episode pulled

before this gets out of hand.

00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,386

You just want "Family Guy"

off the air.

00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,429

[ Tires screeching ]

00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,847

Kyle, stop it!

00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,515

So long, Kyle!

00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,851

You son of a bitch!

I won't let you win!

00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,770

Mr. President...

there's something

00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,106

about the "Family Guy" writing

staff I think you should know.

00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:09,028

MAN: And now the thrilling

conclusion of "Cartoon Wars"...

00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,739

will not be seen tonight

so that we can bring you

00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,492

this "Terrance & Phillip"

television special!

00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:18,412

[ Horn toots,

mid-tempo jazz plays ]

00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,334

[ Music continues ]

00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,212

Say, Terrance, isn't it

wonderful having a holiday

00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,671

here at the Lazy "J" ranch?

00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,090

It sure is, Phillip.

00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:31,592

But I do believe this steer

I'm riding has the farts.

00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,968

[ Farts ]

00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,137

[ Both laugh ]

00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,472

Oh!

Look who's coming!

00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,267

Isn't that Muhammad, the holy

prophet of the Muslim religion?

00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:45,439

Hey, guys.

How's it going?

00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,565

Hello, Muhammad.

00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,275

We've read all aboot you

in the Qur'an.

00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,860

I'm here to investigate

a murder.

00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,114

TERRANCE: All right! Just what

the hell is going on here?!

00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,990

You censored out

the image of Muhammad

00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,492

in our television special!

00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,202

Eh.

You guys know the rules.

00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,079

Nobody can show the image

of Muhammad anymore.

00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,414

- It's dangerous.

- But you ruined the whole show!

00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,791

Look, I'm not going to risk

the lives

00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:04,959

of the people at this network.

00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,377

Let's just forget aboot it,

okay, guys?

00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,170

[ Farts, laughs ]

00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,840

Oh, come on, guys.

Give me a break.

00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,676

We demand you rerun

"Mystery at the Lazy 'J' Ranch"

00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,344

with Muhammad uncensored!

00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,179

Eh! I run this network,

not you guys!

00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,180

And if you ask me,

00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,765

your show has become

so preachy and full of messages

00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:20,891

that you've forgotten

how to be funny!

00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:21,600

No Muhammad!

00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,435

But "Family Guy"

is going to show Muhammad

00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,354

on an episode that airs tonight!

00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,438

I doubt it!

00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,357

I'll bet that right now,

somebody is on their way

00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,943

to Fox network to demand that

that episode be pulled!

00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,529

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,915

Ma'am, I need to speak with

the president of this network

00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,916

right away.

00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,376

What is it regarding?

00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,086

It's regarding "Family Guy."

00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,173

I demand the Muhammad episode be

pulled before it airs tonight.

00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466

It's incendiary,

it's offensive to Muslims,

00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,718

and people can get hurt.

00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,220

It's wrong.

It's wro-o-o-ng!

00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,140

Okay, but if you've got

a problem with "Family Guy,"

00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,600

you'll have to wait in line.

00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,310

That little boy over there

has an appointment

00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:08,314

to try and get "Family Guy"

off the air altogether.

00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,650

Dude, can I go before you?

00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,194

Eat my shorts.

00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,946

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,410

What the hell is going on?

00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,290

Hello?

00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,627

Excuse me?

I need to get to Los Angeles.

00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,462

Hey!

00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,759

Hello?!

00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,012

...starting in a small town

in central Colorado,

00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:43,432

the idea has now spread

all over America.

00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,851

Muslims continue to riot

in the Middle East,

00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:49,188

demanding that "Family Guy"

not air tonight's episode.

00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,233

And Muslim terrorists continue

to make threats.

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,534

Osama bin Laden

had this to say.

00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,663

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,715

Bin Laden went on to say

00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,052

that if "Family Guy" shows the

image of Muhammad as planned,

00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,471

the terrorist retaliation

will be immediate.

00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,223

[ Gun cocks ]

00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,725

- You one of them?

- Who?

00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,228

How come your head

ain't in the sand?

00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,232

[ Muzak playing ]

00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:40,239

So...you don't like "Family Guy"

either, huh?

00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,367

I hate "Family Guy."

00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:44,827

So what's your plan?

00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,370

You gonna ask the president

of the network nicely

00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,663

to take it off the air?

00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,165

Not nicely.

00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,209

Look, kid,

if you hate a TV show,

00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,670

all you have to do

is get an episode pulled.

00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,130

Pretty soon the show

is compromised,

00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,464

and it goes off the air.

00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,757

Cool, man!

00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,633

Yes.

00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,510

So my plan is to use

this whole Muhammad thing

00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,263

as a way to scare the network

into pulling tonight's show.

00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,266

I'm going to use fear

to get them to do what I want.

00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,727

Isn't that like terrorism?

00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,479

No, it isn't like terrorism.

00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,939

It is terrorism.

00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,482

I can do that!

00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,234

This is manipulation

at its highest level.

00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,319

You should let me handle this.

00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,070

I'm a pretty bad kid.

00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,156

Really? What's the worst thing

you've ever done?

00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,575

I stole the head

off a statue once.

00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,869

Wow.

That's pretty hard-core.

00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,786

Geez.

00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,997

That's like this one time

when I didn't like a kid,

00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,625

so I ground his parents up

into chili and fed it to him.

00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,255

You got it, man.

You got it.

00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,298

See ya.

00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:41,675

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:47,014

I want to assure the American

people that as president,

00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,516

I have exhausted

every possible solution.

00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,561

Unfortunately,

Muhammad will appear uncensored

00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,605

on "Family Guy" tonight at 7:00.

00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,524

ALL:

Mr. President! Mr. President!

00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,402

Mr. President, can't the writers

of the show be reasoned with?

00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,404

Don't they know they're putting

the country in danger?

00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,699

I have come to understand

00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,369

something about the "Family Guy"

writing staff.

00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,663

Suffice it to say that they

will not be persuaded

00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,374

by the possibility of violence.

00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,750

ALL:

Mr. President! Mr. President!

00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,001

Mr. President!

Mr. President!

00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,169

What exactly did you learn

00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,630

about the "Family Guy"

writing staff, Mr. President?

00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,925

I'm afraid that information

is classified.

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,426

ALL:

Aww!

00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,887

Mr. President!

Mr. President!

00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,932

Mr. President, can't you force

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,683

not to write anything

about Muhammad?

00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,185

Couldn't you throw them

in prison?

00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,688

Look, the fact of the matter is

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:40,192

is protected by something

called the First Amendment.

00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,238

And what exactly is this

First Amendment, Mr. President?

00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,242

You know --

right to free speech.

00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,953

ALL:

Aww!

00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,746

ALL:

Mr. President! Mr. President!

00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:53,580

Mr. President!

00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457

Mr. President,

when your administration

00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,626

came up with

this First Amendment,

00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,254

did it not foresee a problem

like this might happen?

00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:04,216

Well, we didn't come up with

the First Amendment.

00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,634

It was already in place.

00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,302

What do you intend to do

00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,763

about this First Amendment,

Mr. President?

00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,724

Forgive me, Mr. President,

but this First Amendment

00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,602

sounds like a lot

of bureaucratic jibbery-joo.

00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,229

- Yeah!

- That's right!

00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,440

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,569

Okay.

Let's discuss the fall lineup.

00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,612

Sir, there's still

one little boy out here

00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:26,697

who wants to speak with you

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,490

about pulling

the "Family Guy" episode.

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,451

All right.

Let's get this over with.

00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,038

Hello, gentlemen, ladies.

00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,040

My name is little Danny Pocket,

00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,750

and I won't take

much of your time.

00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,419

Please excuse my tiny crutch.

00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,629

It's the only way

I can get around these days.

00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,464

Ow.

00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,591

- Oh, poor kid.

- Poor kid. Yeah.

00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,010

You see, my father

worked for a newspaper

00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,928

in my native country of Denmark.

00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,513

His newspaper showed

an image of Muhammad,

00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,434

and two days later, terrorists

suicide-bombed his building.

00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:56,977

I was in the lobby

when it happened.

00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,937

First one terrorist

suicide-bombed us,

00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,314

and then dozens more.

00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,273

They just kept coming --

00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,150

suicide bombers running

in the building

00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,818

and blowing up,

one after another.

00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,778

They were like

Mexican jumping beans.

00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,283

I just don't want to see people

here at your studio getting hurt

00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,912

because that would be,

of course, your responsibility.

00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,289

[ Coughs ]

Ow.

00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,833

I feel terrible.

00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,793

It's so easy to put

terrorism out of mind

00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,880

until one of its victims

is staring you in the face.

00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,340

Sir, if we pull the episode,

00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:29,676

the "Family Guy" writing staff

will refuse to work again.

00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,846

Little boy, will you talk to

the "Family Guy" writing staff?

00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,475

If your story touches

their hearts like it has ours,

00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,937

perhaps they'll back down from

demanding we air the episode.

00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,231

I'll certainly do my best.

[ Coughs ] Ow.

00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,775

Take this noble child over

to the "Family Guy" offices.

00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,610

If he can scare them

like he has us,

00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,363

maybe we can pull

the Muhammad episode after all.

00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,698

Yes. And then "Family Guy"

is as good as dead.

00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:52,783

What was what?

00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,620

I-I said thank you.

Thank you for listening.

00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,043

Thanks a lot for the ride.

00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,962

Hey, it's the least I could do.

00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,588

I hope you succeed, kid.

00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,174

I really don't want to see

"Family Guy" go off the air.

00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,842

I love that show!

00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,469

I'll do everything I can.

00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,806

I mean, I know it's just joke

after joke, but I like that.

00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,182

At least it doesn't get

all preachy

00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,143

and up its own ass

with messages, you know?

00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,945

Excuse me!

00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,115

Do you know which way the

network president's office is?

00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,575

Who wants to know?

00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,952

Look, my fat bastard friend

is trying to trick the network

00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,162

into getting "Family Guy"

off the air.

00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,208

The network president's office

is in there.

00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,336

Oh.

Thanks, dude.

00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,130

No problem, man.

00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,134

Hello?

00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,553

This can't be right. I --

[ Grunts ]

00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,432

Cowabunga, motherfucker!

00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,852

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,520

Hello, Mitchell.

00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:04,855

Oh, hi, Ms. Travis.

00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,774

The president has asked

that little Danny Pocket here

00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,235

speak with the "Family Guy"

writing staff.

00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,653

Are you sure?

00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,655

They're working on

a new episode right now.

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,865

It won't take long, sir.

00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,908

[ Coughs ]

Ow.

00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,243

All right.

I'll take him back.

00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,245

Follow me, little Danny.

00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,830

You must be excited.

00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,832

Not many people get to meet

our writing staff.

00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,375

Yes.

I'm totally excited.

00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,419

"Family Guy" is so funny.

00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,297

Well, here we are.

00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,133

Danny, the "Family Guy"

writing staff.

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,302

What?

00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,597

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,728

- What are they?

- They're manatees.

00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,230

Gretchen and Flubber

are from the Gulf of Mexico.

00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,316

Tigger, Pete, and Lucy

are from the Caribbean Sea.

00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,569

"Family Guy" is written

by manatees?

00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,447

Of course.

It all makes sense now.

00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,074

They really are

brilliant creatures.

00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,035

You see, the right side of the

tank is filled with idea balls.

00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,079

Each idea ball has a verb, noun,

00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,830

or pop-culture reference

written on it.

00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:04,873

There's millions of them.

00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,084

The manatees choose an idea ball

00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,711

and swim it to the joke combine

on the other side of the tank.

00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:13,090

There goes Gretchen!

She's coming up with an idea!

00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,175

Oh, she came up

with Gary Coleman.

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,302

The idea balls

drop into the joke combine

00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,429

and form a part

of the new script.

00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:24,267

"Laundry," "date," "winning,"

"Mexico," "Gary Coleman."

00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,602

A perfect "Family Guy" joke!

00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,646

I can see it now!

00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,524

Peter, you didn't do the laundry

today.

00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,234

You think that's bad?

00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,613

Remember the time I won a date

to Mexico with Gary Coleman?

00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,032

- [ Mariachi music playing ]

- ¿Qué pasó, señors?

00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,784

What you talking 'bout, Willis?

00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:41,827

W-Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,287

These manatees demanded

that Muhammad be shown?

00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,997

How?

Manatees don't talk!

00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,333

When Fox censored the image

of Muhammad last week,

00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,793

it also meant

that the Muhammad ball

00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,045

had to come out

of the idea tank.

00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,506

It made the manatees very upset.

00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,050

Pull just one idea ball

out of the idea tank,

00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,802

and the manatees stop working.

00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,387

Here. I'll show you.

Keith?

00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:06,017

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,273

All right. All right.

Put it back in!

00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,402

Manatees are

very ethical writers.

00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,238

Either everything is okay

to write about or nothing is.

00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,031

Anyway, the president

of the network

00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,992

wanted you to speak

with the manatees?

00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,994

Oh.

Yes, yes.

00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,329

Um...hello, manatees.

00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,873

I-I think you should allow

the network

00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,624

to pull your episode

with Muhammad.

00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,710

See, I'm the victim

of a-a terrorist attack,

00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,670

and terrorists might

come after you if --

00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,756

- That isn't gonna work on them.

- Why not?

00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,758

Don't you know anything

about manatees?

00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,843

They're the only mammals

that are completely unmoved

00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,678

by terrorist threats.

00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,806

Son of a bitch.

00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,683

[ Grunting ]

00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,019

Let me out of here, kid.

Why are you doing this?!

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,605

CARTMAN:

Well, well, well.

00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,900

- Cartman!

- Hello, Kyle.

00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,651

Looks like you've run into

a little snag

00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,903

in your plan as well.

00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362

You fat son of a bitch!

00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,615

You came so close to

stopping me, didn't you, Kyle?

00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,283

There was just one thing

you didn't count on --

00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,119

that more people besides me

hate "Family Guy."

00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,871

Yeah.

00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,831

Well, a lot of people like

"Family Guy," too!

00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,750

Who are you to decide

it shouldn't be on the air?!

00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,294

Shut up!

You shut your fucking face, man!

00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,295

Did it work?

00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,756

Did you scare the network

into pulling the episode?

00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,801

Not yet, but I've come up

with a new plan.

00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,928

I've learned how to make

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:23,970

stop working.

00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,764

As soon as everyone goes

on their lunch break,

00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,057

I can sneak back in.

00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,225

Cool, man.

00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,435

Cartman, let me out

of this stupid net!

00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,394

Good, Kyle!

00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,813

That's good anger

you're showing there!

00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,647

You see that?

00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,940

That's emotional

character development

00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,108

based on what's happening

in the story line.

00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,860

Not at all like "Family Guy."

00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,404

Now, if you'll excuse me, Kyle,

00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:45,242

I've got some idea balls

to remove from a manatee tank.

00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,744

What?!

00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,746

I don't understand it.

00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,873

What's wrong with them?

00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,084

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,170

We don't know, Mr. President.

They just stopped working.

00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,215

But nobody took any idea balls

out of the tank, did they?

00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,592

No, sir.

None of us did.

00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,678

Then why are they refusing

to write?

00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,222

I agreed to show Muhammad

uncensored!

00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,932

I did what you asked!

00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,101

What do you want from me?!

00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,185

Sir, sir.

00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,605

If you don't mind my saying,

I think you asked for this.

00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,149

You gave in to the manatees

last week.

00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,901

Now they know all they

have to do is refuse to work

00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,361

and they can get

whatever they want.

00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,071

You've spoiled them

by caving in.

00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,906

Now they think they can walk

all over you.

00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,410

Sir, you are in charge

of this network, not them.

00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,955

Maybe it's time you showed them

who's in charge.

00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582

You're right.

00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,126

It's time I stop letting

these prima donna manatees

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,377

tell me what to do!

00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,254

I'm pulling

the Muhammad episode!

00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,171

You got that?!

00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,923

And if you all don't

want to work tomorrow,

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,758

you can just find other jobs!

00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,760

How long before "Family Guy"

is supposed to air?

00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,887

25 minutes.

00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,722

I got to hurry!

00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,682

I did it.

00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,810

I...am...God!

00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,771

♪ "Family Guy"

is goin' off the air ♪

00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,940

♪ No more "Family Guy" for me,

mon frère ♪

00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,775

Cartman!

00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,570

You fucking fat ass.

00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,946

How the hell did you get out?

00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,073

That kid and I had a long talk.

00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,867

I told him he was

on a slippery slope

00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,702

to becoming a monster like you.

00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,620

Oh, God damn it,

00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,496

you gave him one of your gay

little speeches, didn't you?

00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,082

You are not killing

"Family Guy."

00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,125

You're too late, Kyle.

00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,085

The president of the network

is pulling the episode.

00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046

"Family Guy" is as good as dead.

00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881

There's still time to tell

the network president

00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,257

you're full of crap!

00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,009

I can't let you do that.

00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,552

Get out of my way

or I'll kick your ass!

00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,387

Fine, Kyle.

00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,014

I guess it was inevitable.

00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,684

Let this be our final battle.

00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:38,355

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,522

Aah!

00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,691

Ow. Ow!

Stop it!

00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,443

Kyle, that's too hard!

Ow!

00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,195

[ Grunts ]

Kyle, stop it!

00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,363

Ow! Quit it!

00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,739

Quit it, Kyle!

Let -- Kyle!

00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,866

[ Grunts ]

00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,829

- Stop it!

- Quit it!

00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,581

Quit it, Kyle!

Let -- Kyle!

00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,458

Let -- Okay, okay.

Time out!

00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,961

Time out! Kyle! Time out!

Time out! Time out!

00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,587

Time in!

00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,590

I -- Ow!

[ Grunting ]

00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,510

Okay, okay! Time out! Kyle!

Time out! Time out! Time out!

00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,136

- No more time-outs, fat-ass!

- Time out! Time out! Time out!

00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,805

Time out, Kyle.

00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,269

[ Birds chirping ]

00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:20,397

[ Both grunting ]

00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,317

- Kyle --

- [ Grunts ]

00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,610

Get the -- Kyle.

00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,487

Kyle, dude, that was --

that was in the balls!

00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,614

Dude, seriously! Seriously!

That was in the balls!

00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,450

No hitting --

No hitting in the balls!

00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:35,954

Kyle.

00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,626

[ Both panting ]

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,173

[ Muffled ]

Let me up, Kyle!

00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,300

Let me up, Kyle!

00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,597

[ Both grunting ]

00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,640

Okay.

00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,976

Stop it!

Okay, okay, okay!

00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,561

You win!

00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,147

You win.

I give up.

00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:03,898

[ Grunts ]

00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,526

Ha ha!

I had my fingers crossed.

00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,944

[ Coughing ]

00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,779

[ Thud ]

00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,826

[ Coughs ]

Thanks, kid.

00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,620

Network control,

this is the president.

00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,456

I want you to pull the episode.

00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,124

What?

00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,168

Mr. President, are you sure?

00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,753

I'm sure.

00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,048

Begin episode jettison sequence

0-2-900.

00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,928

- [ Whirring ]

- Abort system initiated.

00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,305

Awaiting confirmation.

00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,807

Mr. President, we need

your final approval code.

00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,810

Presidential approval code

zero, zero, destruct--

00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,354

Sir! Mr. Television executive!

Stop!

00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,981

- Who are you?

- Listen to me.

00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,067

The little boy who convinced you

to pull the episode

00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,193

is a bastard child.

00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,235

He only wants you to pull it

00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,863

because he knows it will be

the end of "Family Guy" forever.

00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,114

The end of "Family Guy"?

00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,450

Mr. President,

we need final authorization.

00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,660

Hold on, Julie.

What are you talking about, kid?

00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,245

Pulling an episode

because somebody is offended

00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,538

starts a chain reaction.

00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,082

You'll have to pull

more and more episodes

00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,792

until the show goes off the air

completely.

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,460

It's what happened

to "Laverne & Shirley"!

00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,172

You mean...the manatees aren't

trying to run the network?

00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,091

What manatees?

00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,092

[ Grunts ]

00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,344

Go ahead, Mr. President.

Continue what you were doing.

00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,721

No! You have to show Muhammad,

Mr. President!

00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,807

Mr. President,

we're awaiting your orders!

00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,476

Sir, just think about what

you're doing to free speech.

00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,228

No. Think about the people

who could get hurt!

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,772

I-I don't know who to listen to!

00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,108

Okay.

I'll make it easy for you.

00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,110

- Pull the Muhammad episode now!

- [ Gun cocks ]

00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,237

Okay. I'll listen to you.

Julie?

00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,405

No! Wait!

You can't listen to him!

00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,740

He's a lying, deceitful monster

00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,408

who only wants "Family Guy"

off the air!

00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,493

But he has a gun.

00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,161

You can't do what he wants

00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,580

just because he's the one

threatening you with violence!

00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,790

Shut up, Kyle!

00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,209

I can't be responsible

for people getting hurt.

00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,210

Especially me.

00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,547

Yes. People can get hurt.

That's how terrorism works.

00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,090

But if you give in to that,

Doug,

00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,008

you're allowing terrorism

to work.

00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,593

Do the right thing here.

00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,512

Give the orders to pull

the episode, Mr. President.

00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,597

I shouldn't even be

in the office still!

00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,142

It's supposed to be

half-day Fridays!

00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,977

Mr. President,

30 seconds to airtime.

00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,436

What do you want us to do?

00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,272

Do the right thing,

Mr. President.

00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,023

How about I allow the episode

to air

00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,151

but just censor out

the image of Muhammad again?

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,402

I wish that was good enough.

00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,028

But if you censor out Muhammad,

00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,989

then soon you'll have to

censor out more.

00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,740

No gay speeches, Kyle!

00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,285

If you don't show Muhammad,

then you've made a distinction

00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,871

between what is okay

to poke fun at and what isn't.

00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,498

Either it's all okay

or none of it is.

00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,000

Five seconds, Mr. President!

00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,212

Do the right thing.

Show Muhammad.

00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,757

Do the right thing.

00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,385

Mr. President,

we need a decision now!

00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,596

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:44,184

"Family Guy" goes on air

as planned, uncensored.

00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,810

- Yes!

- No!

00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,145

No!

I hate "Family Guy"!

00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,522

[ Gun clicking ]

00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,942

Air it!

00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,236

[ Bell ringing ]

00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,950

Peter, you got a pink slip

at work?

00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,911

You think that's bad?

00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,039

Remember the time I got

a salmon helmet from Muhammad

00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415

while wearing a toga?

00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,791

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,252

Coming, Muhammad!

00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,391

Wow!

A salmon helmet!

00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,185

Thanks!

00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,103

Anyway, what were we

talking about?

00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,105

Oh, yeah.

My pink slip.

00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,775

Hey, that wasn't bad at all.

00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,945

They just showed Muhammad

standing there, looking normal!

00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,697

Mr. President, the terrorists

are retaliating!

00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,366

- What?!

- Remember the time I --

00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,493

And as soon as the image

of Muhammad appeared,

00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,746

terrorist leader al-Zawahiri

announced the retaliation.

00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,634

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,097

Hello!

I am American!

00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,682

I am American, too!

00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,392

We like to crap on each other!

00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,060

[ Farting ]

00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,188

Hello. I am the President Bush.

I will crap on both you.

00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,189

- [ Farts ]

- Oh!

00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,649

We love to crap!

00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,900

I'm American!

00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,027

I'm pregnant with a baby,

but I'm not married.

00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,570

Let's crap!

00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:20,947

[ Farting ]

00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,198

Look at me.

I'm Jesus.

00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,993

Would you like for me

to crap on you, Mr. Bush?

00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,160

[ Farting ]

00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,621

ALL:

Mmm! Yummy, Yummy crap!

00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:30,331

[All farting ]