Мультипликационные войны, часть II — Картман добирается до студии FOX. Он старается договориться с президентом телесети, но сначала ему надо убедить авторов сериала в необходимости цензуры.

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Мультипликационные войны, часть II

Cartoon Wars Part II

Сезон: 10Серия: 04

Описание

Картман добирается до студии FOX. Он старается договориться с президентом телесети, но сначала ему надо убедить авторов сериала в необходимости цензуры.

Субтитры

00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,487 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,789 The popular cartoon "Family Guy"
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,834 is going to show the image of Muhammad uncensored!
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,086 If we all bury our heads in sand,
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,505 we can avoid being any part of this.
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,923 And I'm gonna do whatever I can
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,259 to get that episode pulled before this gets out of hand.
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,386 You just want "Family Guy" off the air.
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,847 Kyle, stop it!
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,515 So long, Kyle!
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,851 You son of a bitch! I won't let you win!
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,770 Mr. President... there's something
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,106 about the "Family Guy" writing staff I think you should know.
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:09,028 And now the thrilling conclusion of "Cartoon Wars"...
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,739 will not be seen tonight so that we can bring you
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,492 this "Terrance & Phillip" television special!
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,212 Say, Terrance, isn't it wonderful having a holiday
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,671 here at the Lazy "J" ranch?
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,090 It sure is, Phillip.
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:31,592 But I do believe this steer I'm riding has the farts.
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,472 Oh! Look who's coming!
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,267 Isn't that Muhammad, the holy prophet of the Muslim religion?
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:45,439 Hey, guys. How's it going?
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,565 Hello, Muhammad.
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,275 We've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,860 I'm here to investigate a murder.
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,114 All right! Just what the hell is going on here?!
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,990 You censored out the image of Muhammad
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,492 in our television special!
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,202 Eh. You guys know the rules.
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,079 Nobody can show the image of Muhammad anymore.
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,414 - It's dangerous. - But you ruined the whole show!
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,791 Look, I'm not going to risk the lives
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:04,959 of the people at this network.
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,377 Let's just forget aboot it, okay, guys?
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,840 Oh, come on, guys. Give me a break.
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,676 We demand you rerun "Mystery at the Lazy 'J' Ranch"
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,344 with Muhammad uncensored!
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,179 Eh! I run this network, not you guys!
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,180 And if you ask me,
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,765 your show has become so preachy and full of messages
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:20,891 that you've forgotten how to be funny!
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:21,600 No Muhammad!
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,435 But "Family Guy" is going to show Muhammad
00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,354 on an episode that airs tonight!
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,438 I doubt it!
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,357 I'll bet that right now, somebody is on their way
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,943 to Fox network to demand that that episode be pulled!
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,915 Ma'am, I need to speak with the president of this network
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,916 right away.
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,376 What is it regarding?
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,086 It's regarding "Family Guy."
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,173 I demand the Muhammad episode be pulled before it airs tonight.
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466 It's incendiary, it's offensive to Muslims,
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,718 and people can get hurt.
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,220 It's wrong. It's wro-o-o-ng!
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,140 Okay, but if you've got a problem with "Family Guy,"
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,600 you'll have to wait in line.
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,310 That little boy over there has an appointment
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:08,314 to try and get "Family Guy" off the air altogether.
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,650 Dude, can I go before you?
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,194 Eat my shorts.
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,410 What the hell is going on?
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,290 Hello?
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,627 Excuse me? I need to get to Los Angeles.
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,462 Hey!
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,759 Hello?!
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,012 ...starting in a small town in central Colorado,
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:43,432 the idea has now spread all over America.
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,851 Muslims continue to riot in the Middle East,
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:49,188 demanding that "Family Guy" not air tonight's episode.
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,233 And Muslim terrorists continue to make threats.
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,534 Osama bin Laden had this to say.
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,715 Bin Laden went on to say
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,052 that if "Family Guy" shows the image of Muhammad as planned,
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,471 the terrorist retaliation will be immediate.
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,725 - You one of them? - Who?
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,228 How come your head ain't in the sand?
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:40,239 So...you don't like "Family Guy" either, huh?
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,367 I hate "Family Guy."
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:44,827 So what's your plan?
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,370 You gonna ask the president of the network nicely
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,663 to take it off the air?
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,165 Not nicely.
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,209 Look, kid, if you hate a TV show,
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,670 all you have to do is get an episode pulled.
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,130 Pretty soon the show is compromised,
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,464 and it goes off the air.
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,757 Cool, man!
00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,633 Yes.
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,510 So my plan is to use this whole Muhammad thing
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,263 as a way to scare the network into pulling tonight's show.
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,266 I'm going to use fear to get them to do what I want.
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,727 Isn't that like terrorism?
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,479 No, it isn't <i>like</i> terrorism.
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,939 It <i>is</i> terrorism.
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,482 I can do that!
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,234 This is manipulation at its highest level.
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,319 You should let me handle this.
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,070 I'm a pretty bad kid.
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,156 Really? What's the worst thing you've ever done?
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,575 I stole the head off a statue once.
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,869 Wow. That's pretty hard-core.
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,786 Geez.
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,997 That's like this one time when I didn't like a kid,
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,625 so I ground his parents up into chili and fed it to him.
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,255 You got it, man. You got it.
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,298 See ya.
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:47,014 I want to assure the American people that as president,
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,516 I have exhausted every possible solution.
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,561 Unfortunately, Muhammad will appear uncensored
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,605 on "Family Guy" tonight at 7:00.
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,524 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,402 Mr. President, can't the writers of the show be reasoned with?
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,404 Don't they know they're putting the country in danger?
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,699 I have come to understand
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,369 something about the "Family Guy" writing staff.
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,663 Suffice it to say that they will not be persuaded
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,374 by the possibility of violence.
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,750 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,001 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,169 What exactly did you learn
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,630 about the "Family Guy" writing staff, Mr. President?
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,925 I'm afraid that information is classified.
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,426 Aww!
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,887 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,932 Mr. President, can't you force the "Family Guy" writing staff
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,683 not to write anything about Muhammad?
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,185 Couldn't you throw them in prison?
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,688 Look, the fact of the matter is the "Family Guy" writing staff
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:40,192 is protected by something called the First Amendment.
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,238 And what exactly is this First Amendment, Mr. President?
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,242 You know -- right to free speech.
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,953 Aww!
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,746 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:53,580 Mr. President!
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457 Mr. President, when your administration
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,626 came up with this First Amendment,
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,254 did it not foresee a problem like this might happen?
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:04,216 Well, we didn't come up with the First Amendment.
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,634 It was already in place.
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,302 What do you intend to do
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,763 about this First Amendment, Mr. President?
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,724 Forgive me, Mr. President, but this First Amendment
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,602 sounds like a lot of bureaucratic jibbery-joo.
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,229 - Yeah! - That's right!
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,569 Okay. Let's discuss the fall lineup.
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,612 Sir, there's still one little boy out here
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:26,697 who wants to speak with you
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,490 about pulling the "Family Guy" episode.
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,451 All right. Let's get this over with.
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,038 Hello, gentlemen, ladies.
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,040 My name is little Danny Pocket,
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,750 and I won't take much of your time.
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,419 Please excuse my tiny crutch.
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,629 It's the only way I can get around these days.
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,464 Ow.
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,591 - Oh, poor kid. - Poor kid. Yeah.
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,010 You see, my father worked for a newspaper
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,928 in my native country of Denmark.
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,513 His newspaper showed an image of Muhammad,
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,434 and two days later, terrorists suicide-bombed his building.
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:56,977 I was in the lobby when it happened.
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,937 First one terrorist suicide-bombed us,
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,314 and then dozens more.
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,273 They just kept coming --
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,150 suicide bombers running in the building
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,818 and blowing up, one after another.
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,778 They were like Mexican jumping beans.
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,283 I just don't want to see people here at your studio getting hurt
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,912 because that would be, of course, your responsibility.
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,289 Ow.
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,833 I feel terrible.
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,793 It's so easy to put terrorism out of mind
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,880 until one of its victims is staring you in the face.
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,340 Sir, if we pull the episode,
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:29,676 the "Family Guy" writing staff will refuse to work again.
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,846 Little boy, will you talk to the "Family Guy" writing staff?
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,475 If your story touches their hearts like it has ours,
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,937 perhaps they'll back down from demanding we air the episode.
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,231 - I'll certainly do my best. - Ow.
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,775 Take this noble child over to the "Family Guy" offices.
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,610 If he can scare them like he has us,
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,363 maybe we <i>can</i> pull the Muhammad episode after all.
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,698 Yes. And then "Family Guy" is as good as dead.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:52,783 What was what?
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,620 I-I said thank you. Thank you for listening.
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,043 Thanks a lot for the ride.
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,962 Hey, it's the least I could do.
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,588 I hope you succeed, kid.
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,174 I really don't want to see "Family Guy" go off the air.
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,842 I love that show!
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,469 I'll do everything I can.
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,806 I mean, I know it's just joke after joke, but I like that.
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,182 At least it doesn't get all preachy
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,143 and up its own ass with messages, you know?
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,945 Excuse me!
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,115 Do you know which way the network president's office is?
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,575 Who wants to know?
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,952 Look, my fat bastard friend is trying to trick the network
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,162 into getting "Family Guy" off the air.
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,208 The network president's office is in there.
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,336 Oh. Thanks, dude.
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,130 No problem, man.
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,134 Hello?
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,553 This can't be right. I --
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,432 Cowabunga, motherfucker!
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,520 Hello, Mitchell.
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:04,855 Oh, hi, Ms. Travis.
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,774 The president has asked that little Danny Pocket here
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,235 speak with the "Family Guy" writing staff.
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,653 Are you sure?
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,655 They're working on a new episode right now.
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,865 It won't take long, sir.
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,908 Ow.
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,243 All right. I'll take him back.
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,245 Follow me, little Danny.
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,830 You must be excited.
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,832 Not many people get to meet our writing staff.
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,375 Yes. I'm totally excited.
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,419 "Family Guy" is so funny.
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,297 Well, here we are.
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,133 Danny, the "Family Guy" writing staff.
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,302 What?
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,728 - What are they? - They're manatees.
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,230 Gretchen and Flubber are from the Gulf of Mexico.
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,316 Tigger, Pete, and Lucy are from the Caribbean Sea.
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,569 "Family Guy" is written by manatees?
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,447 Of course. It all makes sense now.
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,074 They really are brilliant creatures.
00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,035 You see, the right side of the tank is filled with idea balls.
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,079 Each idea ball has a verb, noun,
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,830 or pop-culture reference written on it.
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:04,873 There's millions of them.
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,084 The manatees choose an idea ball
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,711 and swim it to the joke combine on the other side of the tank.
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:13,090 There goes Gretchen! She's coming up with an idea!
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,175 Oh, she came up with Gary Coleman.
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,302 The idea balls drop into the joke combine
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,429 and form a part of the new script.
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:24,267 "Laundry," "date," "winning," "Mexico," "Gary Coleman."
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,602 A perfect "Family Guy" joke!
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,646 I can see it now!
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,524 Peter, you didn't do the laundry today.
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,234 You think <i>that's</i> bad?
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,613 Remember the time I won a date to Mexico with Gary Coleman?
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,032 ¿Qué pasó, señors?
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,784 What you talking 'bout, Willis?
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:41,827 W-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,287 These manatees demanded that Muhammad be shown?
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,997 How? Manatees don't talk!
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,333 When Fox censored the image of Muhammad last week,
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,793 it also meant that the Muhammad ball
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,045 had to come out of the idea tank.
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,506 It made the manatees very upset.
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,050 Pull just one idea ball out of the idea tank,
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,802 and the manatees stop working.
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,387 Here. I'll show you. Keith?
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,273 All right. All right. Put it back in!
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,402 Manatees are very ethical writers.
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,238 Either everything is okay to write about or nothing is.
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,031 Anyway, the president of the network
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,992 wanted you to speak with the manatees?
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,994 Oh. Yes, yes.
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,329 Um...hello, manatees.
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,873 I-I think you should allow the network
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,624 to pull your episode with Muhammad.
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,710 See, I'm the victim of a-a terrorist attack,
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,670 and terrorists might come after you if --
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,756 - That isn't gonna work on them. - Why not?
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,758 Don't you know anything about manatees?
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,843 They're the only mammals that are completely unmoved
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,678 by terrorist threats.
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,806 Son of a bitch.
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,019 Let me out of here, kid. Why are you doing this?!
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,605 Well, well, well.
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,900 - Cartman! - Hello, Kyle.
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,651 Looks like you've run into a little snag
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,903 in your plan as well.
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362 You fat son of a bitch!
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,615 You came so close to stopping me, didn't you, Kyle?
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,283 There was just one thing you didn't count on --
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,119 that more people besides me hate "Family Guy."
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,871 Yeah.
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,831 Well, a lot of people like "Family Guy," too!
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,750 Who are you to decide it shouldn't be on the air?!
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,294 Shut up! You shut your fucking face, man!
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,295 Did it work?
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,756 Did you scare the network into pulling the episode?
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,801 Not yet, but I've come up with a new plan.
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,928 I've learned how to make the "Family Guy" writing staff
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:23,970 stop working.
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,764 As soon as everyone goes on their lunch break,
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,057 I can sneak back in.
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,225 Cool, man.
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,435 Cartman, let me out of this stupid net!
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,394 Good, Kyle!
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,813 That's good anger you're showing there!
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,647 You see that?
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,940 That's emotional character development
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,108 based on what's happening in the story line.
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,860 Not at all like "Family Guy."
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,404 Now, if you'll excuse me, Kyle,
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:45,242 I've got some idea balls to remove from a manatee tank.
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,744 What?!
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,746 I don't understand it.
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,873 What's wrong with them?
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,170 We don't know, Mr. President. They just stopped working.
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,215 But nobody took any idea balls out of the tank, did they?
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,592 No, sir. None of us did.
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,678 Then why are they refusing to write?
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,222 I agreed to show Muhammad uncensored!
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,932 I did what you asked!
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,101 What do you want from me?!
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,185 Sir, sir.
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,605 If you don't mind my saying, I think you asked for this.
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,149 You gave in to the manatees last week.
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,901 Now they know all they have to do is refuse to work
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,361 and they can get whatever they want.
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,071 You've spoiled them by caving in.
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,906 Now they think they can walk all over you.
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,410 Sir, you are in charge of this network, not them.
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,955 Maybe it's time you showed them who's in charge.
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582 You're right.
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,126 It's time I stop letting these prima donna manatees
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,377 tell me what to do!
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,254 I'm pulling the Muhammad episode!
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,171 You got that?!
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,923 And if you all don't want to work tomorrow,
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,758 you can just find other jobs!
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,760 How long before "Family Guy" is supposed to air?
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,887 25 minutes.
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,722 I got to hurry!
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,682 I did it.
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,810 I...am...God!
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,771 ♪ "Family Guy" is goin' off the air ♪
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,940 ♪ No more "Family Guy" for me, mon frère ♪
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,775 Cartman!
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,570 You fucking fat ass.
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,946 How the hell did you get out?
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,073 That kid and I had a long talk.
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,867 I told him he was on a slippery slope
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,702 to becoming a monster like you.
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,620 Oh, God damn it,
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,496 you gave him one of your gay little speeches, didn't you?
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,082 You are not killing "Family Guy."
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,125 You're too late, Kyle.
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,085 The president of the network is pulling the episode.
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046 "Family Guy" is as good as dead.
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881 There's still time to tell the network president
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,257 you're full of crap!
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,009 I can't let you do that.
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,552 Get out of my way or I'll kick your ass!
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,387 Fine, Kyle.
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,014 I guess it was inevitable.
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,684 Let this be our final battle.
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,522 Aah!
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,691 Ow. Ow! Stop it!
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,443 Kyle, that's too hard! Ow!
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,195 Kyle, stop it!
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,363 Ow! Quit it!
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,739 Quit it, Kyle! Let -- Kyle!
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,829 - Stop it! - Quit it!
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,581 Quit it, Kyle! Let -- Kyle!
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,458 Let -- Okay, okay. Time out!
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,961 Time out! Kyle! Time out! Time out! Time out!
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,587 Time in!
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,590 I -- Ow!
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,510 Okay, okay! Time out! Kyle! Time out! Time out! Time out!
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,136 - No more time-outs, fat-ass! - Time out! Time out! Time out!
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,805 Time out, Kyle.
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,317 Kyle --
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,610 Get the -- Kyle.
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,487 Kyle, dude, that was -- that was in the balls!
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,614 Dude, seriously! Seriously! That was in the balls!
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,450 No hitting -- No hitting in the balls!
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:35,954 Kyle.
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,173 Let me up, Kyle!
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,300 Let me up, Kyle!
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,640 Okay.
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,976 Stop it! Okay, okay, okay!
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,561 You win!
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,147 You win. I give up.
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,526 Ha ha! I had my fingers crossed.
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,826 Thanks, kid.
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,620 Network control, this is the president.
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,456 I want you to pull the episode.
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,124 What?
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,168 Mr. President, are you sure?
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,753 I'm sure.
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,048 Begin episode jettison sequence 0-2-900.
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,928 <i>Abort system initiated.</i>
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,305 Awaiting confirmation.
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,807 Mr. President, we need your final approval code.
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,810 Presidential approval code zero, zero, destruct--
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,354 Sir! Mr. Television executive! Stop!
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,981 - Who are you? - Listen to me.
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,067 The little boy who convinced you to pull the episode
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,193 is a bastard child.
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,235 He only wants you to pull it
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,863 because he knows it will be the end of "Family Guy" forever.
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,114 The end of "Family Guy"?
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,450 Mr. President, we need final authorization.
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,660 Hold on, Julie. What are you talking about, kid?
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,245 Pulling an episode because somebody is offended
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,538 starts a chain reaction.
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,082 You'll have to pull more and more episodes
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,792 until the show goes off the air completely.
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,460 It's what happened to "Laverne & Shirley"!
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,172 You mean...the manatees aren't trying to run the network?
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,091 What manatees?
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,344 Go ahead, Mr. President. Continue what you were doing.
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,721 No! You have to show Muhammad, Mr. President!
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,807 Mr. President, we're awaiting your orders!
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,476 Sir, just think about what you're doing to free speech.
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,228 No. Think about the people who could get hurt!
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,772 I-I don't know who to listen to!
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,108 Okay. I'll make it easy for you.
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,110 Pull the Muhammad episode now!
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,237 Okay. I'll listen to you. Julie?
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,405 No! Wait! You can't listen to him!
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,740 He's a lying, deceitful monster
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,408 who only wants "Family Guy" off the air!
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,493 But he has a gun.
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,161 You can't do what he wants
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,580 just because he's the one threatening you with violence!
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,790 Shut up, Kyle!
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,209 I can't be responsible for people getting hurt.
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,210 Especially me.
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,547 Yes. People can get hurt. That's how terrorism works.
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,090 But if you give in to that, Doug,
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,008 you're allowing terrorism to work.
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,593 Do the right thing here.
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,512 Give the orders to pull the episode, Mr. President.
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,597 I shouldn't even be in the office still!
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,142 It's supposed to be half-day Fridays!
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,977 Mr. President, 30 seconds to airtime.
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,436 What do you want us to do?
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,272 Do the right thing, Mr. President.
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,023 How about I allow the episode to air
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,151 but just censor out the image of Muhammad again?
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,402 I wish that was good enough.
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,028 But if you censor out Muhammad,
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,989 then soon you'll have to censor out more.
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,740 No gay speeches, Kyle!
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,285 If you don't show Muhammad, then you've made a distinction
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,871 between what <i>is</i> okay to poke fun at and what isn't.
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,498 Either it's all okay or none of it is.
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,000 Five seconds, Mr. President!
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,212 Do the right thing. Show Muhammad.
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,757 Do the right thing.
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,385 Mr. President, we need a decision now!
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:44,184 "Family Guy" goes on air as planned, uncensored.
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,810 - Yes! - No!
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,145 No! I hate "Family Guy"!
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,942 Air it!
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,950 Peter, you got a pink slip at work?
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,911 You think <i>that's</i> bad?
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,039 Remember the time I got a salmon helmet from Muhammad
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415 while wearing a toga?
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,252 Coming, Muhammad!
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,391 Wow! A salmon helmet!
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,185 Thanks!
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,103 Anyway, what were we talking about?
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,105 Oh, yeah. My pink slip.
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,775 Hey, that wasn't bad at all.
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,945 They just showed Muhammad standing there, looking normal!
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,697 Mr. President, the terrorists are retaliating!
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,366 - What?! - Remember the time I --
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,493 And as soon as the image of Muhammad appeared,
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,746 terrorist leader al-Zawahiri announced the retaliation.
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,097 Hello! I am American!
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,682 I am American, too!
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,392 We like to crap on each other!
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,188 Hello. I am the President Bush. I will crap on both you.
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,189 Oh!
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,649 We love to crap!
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,900 I'm American!
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,027 I'm pregnant with a baby, but I'm not married.
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,570 Let's crap!
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,198 Look at me. I'm Jesus.
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,993 Would you like for me to crap on you, Mr. Bush?
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,621 Mmm! Yummy, Yummy crap!

00:00:28,221 --> 00:00:32,062 МУЛЬТИПЛИКАЦИОННЫЕ ВОЙНЫ, ЧАСТЬ II
00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:36,530 В предыдущей серии Саут Парка.
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:42,078 Популярный мультсериал Гриффины собирается показать изображение Мухаммеда, без купюр!
00:00:42,118 --> 00:00:44,378 Если мы все закопаем свои головы в песок
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:46,698 то сможем избежать какой-либо причастности к этому.
00:00:46,738 --> 00:00:48,168 Я сделаю всё, что смогу…
00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:50,738 …чтобы снять этот эпизод с эфира до того, как всё выйдет из-под контроля.
00:00:50,778 --> 00:00:52,858 Ты ведь просто хотел убрать из эфира Гриффинов…
00:00:54,098 --> 00:00:55,198 Кайл, прекрати!
00:00:55,238 --> 00:00:56,688 Покеда, Кайл!
00:00:56,728 --> 00:00:59,248 Сукин сын! Я не дам тебе победить!
00:00:59,278 --> 00:01:04,278 Господин Президент. Полагаю, вы должны кое-что узнать об авторах Гриффинов.
00:01:04,318 --> 00:01:09,148 А сейчас ужасающий финал Мультипликационных Войн…
00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:11,038 …мы вам не покажем!
00:01:11,078 --> 00:01:14,658 Так что предлагаем вашему вниманию следующее - "Специальный выпуск Терранса и Филлипа"!
00:01:23,928 --> 00:01:27,818 Слушай, Терранс, а правда, ведь, здорово проводить каникулы здесь, на "Ранчо Ленивого Джея"?
00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:29,398 Так и есть, Филлип.
00:01:29,438 --> 00:01:31,998 Но я полагаю, что у бычка, на котором я еду газы.
00:01:35,298 --> 00:01:36,728 Ой, смотри, кто идёт!
00:01:36,758 --> 00:01:40,148 А не Мухаммед ли это - святой пророк мусульманской веры?
00:01:42,718 --> 00:01:44,708 Здорово, ребята. Как дела?
00:01:44,748 --> 00:01:48,638 Привет, Мухаммед. Мы читали о тебе в Коране.
00:01:48,668 --> 00:01:50,138 Я приехал, чтобы расследовать убийство.
00:01:50,168 --> 00:01:53,398 Так! И что за херня здесь происходит?!!!
00:01:53,438 --> 00:01:56,768 Вы вырезали изображение Мухаммеда в нашем специальном выпуске!!!
00:01:56,798 --> 00:01:58,628 Эй! Вы знаете правила!
00:01:58,668 --> 00:02:01,108 Показывать Мухаммеда больше нельзя никому. Это опасно.
00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:02,788 Но вы испортили всю серию!
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:05,268 Послушайте, я не собираюсь рисковать жизнями людей на этом телеканале.
00:02:05,298 --> 00:02:06,718 Давайте просто забудем об этом, ладно?
00:02:08,918 --> 00:02:11,188 Да ладно, ребят, прекращайте.
00:02:11,228 --> 00:02:14,008 Мы требуем, чтобы вы вернули "Загадку на Ранчо "Ленивого Джея"
00:02:14,048 --> 00:02:15,568 с Мухаммедом без купюр!
00:02:15,598 --> 00:02:17,488 Эй! Это мой канал, а не ваш!
00:02:17,518 --> 00:02:18,408 И если вы меня спросите -
00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:20,228 ваше шоу стало таким нравоучительным и полным глубокого смысла,
00:02:20,268 --> 00:02:21,248 ...что вы просто забыли, как это быть смешными!
00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:22,308 Никакого Мухаммеда!
00:02:22,348 --> 00:02:25,638 Но Гриффины собираются показать Мухаммеда в сегодняшней серии!
00:02:25,668 --> 00:02:26,718 Сомневаюсь!
00:02:26,758 --> 00:02:29,298 Готов поспорить, что прямо сейчас кто-то держит путь к студии Фокс...
00:02:29,328 --> 00:02:31,308 ...чтобы потребовать снять эпизод с эфира.
00:02:42,178 --> 00:02:46,108 Мадам, мне срочно необходимо поговорить с президентом канала.
00:02:46,148 --> 00:02:47,458 Касательно чего?
00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:49,398 Касательно Гриффинов.
00:02:49,428 --> 00:02:52,288 Я требую, чтобы эпизод с Мухаммедом был снят с сегодняшнего эфира!
00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:55,988 Он провокационный, он оскорбительный для мусульман, и могут пострадать люди!
00:02:56,028 --> 00:02:56,878 Так нельзя!
00:02:56,918 --> 00:02:58,098 НЕЛЬЗЯ!
00:02:58,128 --> 00:03:02,698 Ладно…Но если у вас претензии к Гриффинам, то придется подождать в очереди.
00:03:02,728 --> 00:03:06,938 Вон тот мальчик тоже ждет приёма, чтобы попытаться снять Гриффинов с эфира.
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:11,948 Чувак, можно перед тобой пройти?
00:03:11,978 --> 00:03:13,288 Съешь мои трусы!
00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:21,798 Что здесь за херня творится?
00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:29,178 Извините, мне нужно в Лос-Анджелес.
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,028 Эй?
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,208 Э-эй?
00:03:37,358 --> 00:03:40,268 …началось в маленьком городке в центральной части Колорадо.
00:03:40,358 --> 00:03:43,338 В настоящий момент идея получила распространение по всей Америке.
00:03:43,378 --> 00:03:46,178 На Среднем Востоке продолжают митинговать мусульмане...
00:03:46,218 --> 00:03:48,988 ...требуя, чтобы Гриффины не показывали сегодняшнюю серию.
00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:52,348 А мусульманские террористы продолжают угрожать.
00:03:53,498 --> 00:03:56,268 Гриффинам лучше не показывать сегодня Мухаммеда.
00:03:56,308 --> 00:04:00,518 Я не шучу. Гриффины - это не смешно.
00:04:00,558 --> 00:04:02,908 Усама Бин Ладен заявил следующее:
00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:07,438 Если присмотреться к сценарию Гриффинов...
00:04:07,468 --> 00:04:11,608 ....то можно увидеть, что шутки не связаны с сюжетом...
00:04:11,638 --> 00:04:15,368 ...и по-моему, это полный отстой.
00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:17,508 В продолжении, Бин Ладен сказал...
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:22,868 что если Гриффины покажут изображение Мухаммеда, то возмездие террористов будет незамедлительным.
00:04:23,538 --> 00:04:25,998 Ты один из них?
00:04:26,028 --> 00:04:27,078 Из кого?
00:04:27,108 --> 00:04:28,768 Как так вышло, что твоя голова не в песке?
00:04:36,428 --> 00:04:39,738 Значит…ты тоже не любишь Гриффинов, да?
00:04:39,778 --> 00:04:43,168 Ненавижу Гриффинов.
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,108 И какой у тебя план?
00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:47,858 Ты любезно попросишь президента компании снять их с эфира?
00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:50,338 Не любезно.
00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:55,298 Слушай, пацан, если ты ненавидишь сериал - всё, что нужно - это снять с эфира один эпизод.
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,848 Довольно скоро сериал себя скомпрометирует и его снимут с эфира.
00:04:57,878 --> 00:04:58,978 Круто, блин.
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:00,848 Да. Так вот, мой план в том...
00:05:00,878 --> 00:05:03,668 чтобы использовать всё это дело с Мухаммедом, как способ запугать телекомпанию
00:05:03,698 --> 00:05:04,768 чтобы они сняли сегодняшний эпизод.
00:05:04,808 --> 00:05:07,268 При помощи страха заставлю их сделать то, что мне нужно.
00:05:07,298 --> 00:05:09,958 А это не смахивает на терроризм
00:05:09,998 --> 00:05:12,638 Нет. Это не смахивает на терроризм.
00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:14,308 Это и есть терроризм.
00:05:14,338 --> 00:05:15,888 Могу взять это на себя.
00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:18,558 Это манипуляция высшего порядка, позволь уж мне всё устроить.
00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:20,138 Я довольно хулиганистый парень.
00:05:20,178 --> 00:05:22,468 Правда? И что ты сделал в жизни наихудшего?
00:05:22,508 --> 00:05:24,768 Как-то стырил голову у памятника.
00:05:24,798 --> 00:05:27,878 Ух-ты, вот это круто. Блин.
00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:30,378 Прямо как тогда, когда мне не понравился один парниша...
00:05:30,408 --> 00:05:33,288 ...и я порубил его предков в чили и скормил всё это ему.
00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:38,438 Да, лучше уж ты. Лучше ты.
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,468 Пока.
00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:46,278 Хочу заверить Американскую общественность,
00:05:46,318 --> 00:05:49,918 что как президент, я исчерпал все возможные решения.
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:55,958 К сожалению, Мухаммед будет показан сегодня в семь в Гриффинах, без купюр.
00:05:55,998 --> 00:05:57,178 Господин президент!
00:05:57,208 --> 00:06:00,748 Господин президент, а нельзя ли переубедить авторов сериала?
00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:02,598 Они разве не знают, что этим они подвергают опасности нашу страну?
00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:08,268 Я кое-что понял об авторах Гриффинов.
00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:13,678 Достаточно будет сказать, что возможное насилие их не остановит.
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,438 Господин президент!
00:06:16,438 --> 00:06:19,928 А что именно вы узнали об авторах Гриффинов, господин Президент?
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,378 Боюсь, эта информация секретна.
00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:25,108 Блииииин!
00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:27,008 Господин президент!
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:32,078 Господин президент, а вы не могли бы заставить авторов Гриффинов не писать о Мухаммеде?
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:33,498 А вы не могли бы бросить их за решетку?
00:06:33,538 --> 00:06:34,188 Послушайте!
00:06:34,218 --> 00:06:40,218 Дело в том, что авторы Гриффинов защищены тем, что мы называем "Первая Поправка"!
00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:44,218 Господин президент, а что такое эта "Первая Поправка"?
00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:48,608 Ну знаете, это право на свободу слова.
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:57,768 Господин президент, а когда ваша администрация придумала эту "Первую Поправку"...
00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:00,488 разве вы не предвидели возникновения подобных проблем?
00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:04,568 Вообще-то…Мы не придумывали Первую Поправку.
00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:06,058 Она уже была до нас.
00:07:06,088 --> 00:07:10,008 А что вы намерены предпринять по поводу этой "Первой Поправки", господин президент?
00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:13,278 Прошу простить, господин президент, но эта "Первая Поправка"...
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,958 похожа на обычную бюрократическую заморочку.
00:07:15,988 --> 00:07:17,208 Точно!!!
00:07:21,668 --> 00:07:24,168 Ладно, обсудим наш план на осень.
00:07:24,208 --> 00:07:26,268 Сэр, там всё еще сидит мальчик...
00:07:26,298 --> 00:07:28,888 ...который хочет поговорить с вами насчет снятия с эфира серии Гриффинов.
00:07:28,928 --> 00:07:30,798 Хорошо, давайте разберемся с этим.
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:35,098 Приветствую вас господа, дамы.
00:07:35,128 --> 00:07:37,288 Меня зовут малыш Дэнни Покет.
00:07:37,328 --> 00:07:38,848 И я не займу у вас много времени.
00:07:38,878 --> 00:07:40,758 Прошу извинить меня за этот костылик,
00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:42,838 но сегодня это для меня единственная возможность передвижения.
00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:43,718 Ой…
00:07:43,758 --> 00:07:45,898 Бедный мальчонка.
00:07:45,928 --> 00:07:50,168 Понимаете, мой отец работал в газете в моей родной Дании.
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,998 Его газета опубликовала изображение Мухаммеда...
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:55,318 ...и, два дня спустя, террорист-смертник взорвал здание.
00:07:55,358 --> 00:07:57,278 Я был в вестибюле, когда это произошло.
00:07:57,318 --> 00:08:00,598 Сначала один террорист-смертник взорвал нас, а затем десятки других.
00:08:00,628 --> 00:08:01,938 Они шли потоком.
00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,898 Террористы-смертники вбегали в здание и взрывались один за другим!
00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:06,958 Прямо как попкорн.
00:08:08,728 --> 00:08:11,848 Я просто не хочу, чтобы здесь, в вашей телекомпании пострадали люди...
00:08:11,878 --> 00:08:14,878 потому, что…это несомненно будет на вашей совести.
00:08:15,918 --> 00:08:17,198 Ой…
00:08:17,228 --> 00:08:19,578 У меня ужасные чувства.
00:08:19,618 --> 00:08:24,728 Так легко не думать о терроризме, пока одна из жертв не посмотрит тебе прямо в глаза.
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:29,438 Сэр, если мы снимем эпизод с эфира, авторы Гриффинов откажутся работать дальше.
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:33,198 Мальчик, а ты не хочешь поговорить с авторами Гриффинов?
00:08:33,228 --> 00:08:36,888 Если твоя история тронет их сердца, как тронула наши...
00:08:36,928 --> 00:08:40,368 ...может, они не станут требовать, чтобы мы показали этот эпизод?
00:08:40,398 --> 00:08:41,798 Буду стараться изо всех сил.
00:08:41,838 --> 00:08:42,818 Ай.
00:08:42,858 --> 00:08:44,868 Отведите это благородное дитя в офис Гриффинов.
00:08:44,898 --> 00:08:49,618 Если он напугает их, как нас, может, мы в конце концов снимем этот эпизод с эфира.
00:08:49,658 --> 00:08:51,868 Ага, и считайте, что Гриффинам капец.
00:08:51,908 --> 00:08:52,938 Что ты сказал?
00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:55,828 Говорю, спасибо. Спасибо, что выслушали.
00:09:01,948 --> 00:09:03,408 Большое спасибо, что подбросили.
00:09:03,438 --> 00:09:05,118 Это меньшее, что я мог сделать.
00:09:05,148 --> 00:09:06,938 Надеюсь, парень, у тебя всё получится.
00:09:06,978 --> 00:09:09,618 Очень не хочу, чтобы Гриффинов сняли с эфира.
00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:10,928 Обожаю этот сериал!
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,598 Сделаю всё, что смогу.
00:09:12,628 --> 00:09:16,088 Я, конечно, понимаю, что там просто шутка за шуткой, но мне это нравится.
00:09:16,118 --> 00:09:17,758 По крайней мере они не скатываются в проповедничество
00:09:17,798 --> 00:09:19,798 и не заморачиваются с поучениями.
00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:28,288 "НЕНАВИЖУ ГРИФФИНОВ"
00:09:29,788 --> 00:09:33,418 Прости, ты не знаешь где офис президента телеканала?
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,798 А кто спрашивает?
00:09:34,838 --> 00:09:37,698 Послушай. Мой жирный дружок-ублюдок хочет обдурить телекомпанию...
00:09:37,728 --> 00:09:39,968 ...чтобы они сняли Гриффинов с эфира.
00:09:39,998 --> 00:09:43,668 Офис президента телекомпании вон там!
00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:46,328 Спасибо, чувак.
00:09:46,358 --> 00:09:48,038 Всегда пожалуйста, дружище.
00:09:50,638 --> 00:09:53,888 Э-эй? Не похоже на…
00:09:55,568 --> 00:09:57,568 Спокойной ночи, долбо..б!
00:10:02,548 --> 00:10:03,360 Привет, Митчел.
00:10:03,591 --> 00:10:04,751 Ой, здрасте, Мисс Трэвис.
00:10:05,134 --> 00:10:10,464 Президент попросил Дэнни Покета поговорить с авторами Гриффинов.
00:10:10,494 --> 00:10:12,074 Вы…уверены?
00:10:12,104 --> 00:10:13,994 Они сейчас работают над новой серией.
00:10:14,034 --> 00:10:17,134 Я быстро, сэр. Ой…
00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:18,614 Ну ладно. Отведу его.
00:10:18,644 --> 00:10:19,814 Идем, маленький Дэнни.
00:10:19,844 --> 00:10:24,054 Наверное, ты волнуешься. Не многие встречались с нашими авторами.
00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:27,144 Да, жутко волнуюсь. Гриффины такие смешные.
00:10:27,874 --> 00:10:29,924 Вот мы и пришли.
00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:33,344 Дэнни, это авторы Гриффинов.
00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,054 Чё?
00:10:42,494 --> 00:10:44,194 А что они такое?
00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:45,104 Они - ламантины.
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,234 Гретхен и Флаббер из Мексиканского залива.
00:10:47,264 --> 00:10:49,674 Тинкер, Пит и Люси - из Карибского моря.
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,764 Гриффинов пишут ламантины?
00:10:52,804 --> 00:10:55,424 Ну конечно же. Теперь всё становится на свои места.
00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:57,344 Они просто гениальные создания.
00:10:57,374 --> 00:11:00,204 Видишь, правая сторона аквариума заполнена мячами с идеями.
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:04,124 На каждом мяче написан глагол, существительное или референс на предмет поп-культуры.
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,334 Их там миллионы.
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,354 Ламантины выбирают мяч с идеей...
00:11:07,394 --> 00:11:10,074 и плывут с ней к шутко-объединителю на другую сторону аквариума.
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,314 Вон плывет Гретхен!
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:12,384 У неё назревает идея.
00:11:13,314 --> 00:11:15,564 О, идея с Гари Колманом.
00:11:15,604 --> 00:11:18,944 Идея попадает в шутко-объединитель и образует главу нового сценария.
00:11:20,354 --> 00:11:24,604 Стирка, Свидание, Выигрыш, Мексика, Гари Колман.
00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:27,104 Отличная шутка в духе Гриффинов! Я ее уже вижу!
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:30,634 Питер, ты сегодня не постирал.
00:11:30,664 --> 00:11:32,534 Думаешь это плохо?
00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:36,814 А помнишь тот раз, когда я выиграл свидание в Мексике с Гари Колманом?
00:11:37,724 --> 00:11:39,244 Ке паса, сеньорес?
00:11:39,274 --> 00:11:40,714 Ты о ком так базаришь, Виллис?
00:11:40,714 --> 00:11:41,864 Стойте-стойте-стойте.
00:11:41,904 --> 00:11:44,474 Эти…ламантины требуют, чтобы вы показали изображение Мухаммеда?
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,154 Как? Ламантины не разговаривают!
00:11:46,194 --> 00:11:48,684 Когда FOX заретушировало изображение Мухаммеда на прошлой неделе...
00:11:48,724 --> 00:11:51,934 это также означало, что мяч с Мухаммедом нужно было убрать из аквариума с идеями.
00:11:51,964 --> 00:11:54,574 Ламантинов это очень огорчило.
00:11:54,604 --> 00:11:57,024 Как только убираешь всего лишь один мяч из аквариума...
00:11:57,054 --> 00:11:58,974 ламантины сразу же перестают работать.
00:11:59,014 --> 00:12:00,614 Сейчас продемонстрируем. Киф?
00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:10,144 Ладно, ладно, верни его на место!
00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:15,624 Ламантины очень этичные сценаристы.
00:12:15,654 --> 00:12:18,464 Либо писать обо всём, либо вообще не писать.
00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:21,954 В любом случае, президент телеканала хотел, чтобы ты…поговорил с ламантинами.
00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:23,644 А, да, да.
00:12:23,684 --> 00:12:26,674 Э…Здравствуйте, ламантины.
00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:29,454 Думаю, вы должны позволить телеканалу убрать ваш эпизод с Мухаммедом.
00:12:29,494 --> 00:12:31,994 Понимаете, я жертва нападения террористов и…
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,594 …террористы могут прийти к вам, если вы…
00:12:33,624 --> 00:12:35,234 С ними это не сработает.
00:12:35,274 --> 00:12:36,164 Почему не сработает?
00:12:36,204 --> 00:12:37,854 Ты ничего не знаешь о ламантинах?
00:12:37,894 --> 00:12:41,154 Это единственные млекопитающие, полностью безразличные к угрозе терроризма.
00:12:42,574 --> 00:12:44,074 Твою же ж мать!
00:12:45,504 --> 00:12:49,114 Пацан, выпусти меня! Зачем ты это делаешь?
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,414 Так, так, так!
00:12:53,604 --> 00:12:54,394 Картман!
00:12:54,424 --> 00:12:58,024 Привет, Кайл. Похоже, в твоём плане тоже загвоздочка.
00:12:58,064 --> 00:12:59,524 Ты жирная тварь!
00:12:59,554 --> 00:13:01,864 А ты меня почти уже остановил, да, Кайл.
00:13:01,904 --> 00:13:05,974 Только одного ты не учёл - кроме меня еще многие ненавидят Гриффинов.
00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:07,344 Точно!
00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:09,934 А многим Гриффины нравятся!
00:13:09,964 --> 00:13:11,874 И кто вы такие, чтобы решать, что им не место в эфире!
00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:12,624 Заткнись!
00:13:12,654 --> 00:13:14,434 Завали е…ало, чувак!
00:13:14,474 --> 00:13:15,594 Получилось?
00:13:15,634 --> 00:13:17,924 Ты запугал телекомпанию, чтобы они сняли эпизод с эфира?
00:13:17,954 --> 00:13:20,454 Ещё нет! Но я разработал новый план.
00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:24,044 Я узнал, как сделать так, чтобы сценаристыГриффинов перестали работать!
00:13:24,084 --> 00:13:27,184 Как только все уйдут на обед, я проберусь обратно.
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,344 Круто!
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,694 Картман, выпусти меня из этой дурацкой сетки!!
00:13:30,724 --> 00:13:31,604 Отлично, Кайл!
00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:33,164 Ты демонстрируешь истинный гнев! Видишь!?
00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:35,414 Это эмоциональное раскрытие персонажа,
00:13:35,444 --> 00:13:37,044 основанное на событиях, происходящих в сюжетной линии!
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,774 Совсем не как в Гриффинах.
00:13:38,814 --> 00:13:41,484 А теперь, если позволишь, Кайл...
00:13:41,524 --> 00:13:44,914 я должен убрать пару мячей с идеями из аквариума с ламантинами.
00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:47,224 ЧЕГО?!!
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,144 Не понимаю. Что с ними такое?
00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:57,414 Не знаем, господин президент. Просто перестали работать.
00:13:57,444 --> 00:14:00,594 Но ведь никто не брал мячи с идеями из аквариума, так ведь?
00:14:00,624 --> 00:14:02,004 Нет, сэр, никто из нас не брал.
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,714 Но почему же они отказываются писать?
00:14:04,754 --> 00:14:07,404 Я согласился показать Мухаммеда без цензуры!
00:14:07,434 --> 00:14:08,924 Я сделал всё, что вы просили!
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,274 ЧТО ВАМ ОТ МЕНЯ НУЖНО?!!
00:14:11,304 --> 00:14:12,244 Сэр, сэр!
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:15,774 Если не возражаете, то я сказал бы что вы сами напросились.
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,194 Вы уступили ламантинам на прошлой неделе.
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:21,594 И теперь они знают, что им нужно всего лишь отказаться работать и они получат всё, чего хотят.
00:14:21,624 --> 00:14:23,214 Своими уступками вы их разбаловали.
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,104 Теперь они думают, что с вами можно не считаться.
00:14:25,144 --> 00:14:28,574 Сэр, ведь вы глава телекомпании, а не они.
00:14:28,614 --> 00:14:31,304 Может, пришло время показать им, кто главный.
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:33,344 Ты прав.
00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:37,634 Пора прекратить позволять этим прима-ламантинам указывать мне, что делать.
00:14:37,664 --> 00:14:40,344 Я снимаю с эфира эпизод с Мухаммедом, ясно вам?
00:14:40,374 --> 00:14:43,834 И если вы не захотите завтра работать - ищите другую работу!!!
00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:45,964 Сколько времени до запланированного выпуска эпизода Гриффинов?!
00:14:45,994 --> 00:14:47,104 Двадцать пять минут.
00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:48,114 Нужно торопиться!
00:14:49,644 --> 00:14:50,714 Получилось.
00:14:50,744 --> 00:14:54,324 Я - БОГ!!!
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:59,134 Гриффинов с эфира убрали! Чтобы меня они не доставали!
00:14:59,174 --> 00:15:00,434 КАРТМАН!!!!
00:15:01,354 --> 00:15:03,794 Е...аный жиртрест!
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:05,094 Как ты, блин, выбрался?
00:15:05,134 --> 00:15:07,354 Мы с этим парнишкой долго говорили!
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:11,014 И я сказал ему, что он стал на скользкую дорожку и станет монстром, как ты!
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:11,994 Твою ж мать!
00:15:12,034 --> 00:15:13,874 Ты произнес ему одну из своих гламурненьких речей, да?
00:15:13,904 --> 00:15:16,494 ТЫ НЕ УБЬЕШЬ ГРИФФИНОВ!!!
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:17,334 Опоздал, Кайл.
00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:20,554 Президент снимает эпизод с эфира. Считай, что Гриффинам хана.
00:15:20,584 --> 00:15:24,094 Но ещё есть время, чтобы сказать президенту телеканала, что ты - мудозвон!
00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:26,524 Этого я тебе не позволю!
00:15:26,564 --> 00:15:27,984 С дороги, а то щас тумаков навешаю!
00:15:28,024 --> 00:15:31,014 Ладно, Кайл. Полагаю, это неизбежно.
00:15:32,524 --> 00:15:34,824 Пусть это будет наша финальная битва.
00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:41,314 Ой. ОЙ!
00:15:41,354 --> 00:15:43,304 Кайл, блин, больно!
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:43,914 Ай!
00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,744 Ай! Прекращай!
00:15:52,784 --> 00:15:54,324 Ой, Хорош!
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,344 Завязывай, Кайл!
00:15:57,314 --> 00:15:58,944 Ладно, ладно, тайм аут.
00:15:58,984 --> 00:15:59,894 Кайл, тайм аут!
00:16:01,384 --> 00:16:02,114 Кончился тайм-аут!
00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:07,314 Ладно, ладно, тайм аут.
00:16:07,354 --> 00:16:09,884 Все тайм ауты вышли, жопа жирная!
00:16:09,914 --> 00:16:11,174 Тайм аут! Тайм аут!
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,394 Кайл! Кайл!
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,924 Кайл, блин, прям по яйцам!
00:16:26,964 --> 00:16:29,434 Блин, я серьезно! Прям по яйцам!
00:16:29,464 --> 00:16:31,144 По яйцам не бить!
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,194 Хватит, Кайл.
00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:49,294 Прекращай, Кайл!
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,654 Ладно, ладно!
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:58,374 Ладно! Ты победил!
00:16:58,404 --> 00:17:01,174 Ты победил. Сдаюсь.
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,774 Ха-ха! А я пальцы скрестил.
00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:14,884 Спасибо, пацан.
00:17:15,314 --> 00:17:17,734 Штаб управления Телеканалом! Это президент!
00:17:17,764 --> 00:17:19,634 Я хочу, чтобы вы сняли эпизод с эфира.
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:23,004 Что? Господин президент, вы уверены?
00:17:23,044 --> 00:17:28,004 Уверен. Задействовать программу снятия эпизода 02 900.
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:33,984 Голосовая система активирована.
00:17:34,024 --> 00:17:35,214 Ожидаем подтверждения.
00:17:35,244 --> 00:17:37,784 Господин президент, нам нужен ваш код окончательного подтверждения.
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,804 Президентский код подтверждения. 0-0-разрушить-
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:41,634 Сэр!
00:17:41,664 --> 00:17:43,434 Господин телепродюсер! Остановитесь!
00:17:43,474 --> 00:17:44,624 А ты кто такой?
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:45,284 Послушайте.
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,884 Тот маленький мальчик, который убедил вас снять с эфира эпизод...
00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,204 ...на самом деле мелкий ублюдок.
00:17:48,244 --> 00:17:49,854 Единственное, почему он хочет убрать эпизод, так это то...
00:17:49,884 --> 00:17:51,984 что он знает, что это положит конец Гриффинам навсегда!
00:17:52,024 --> 00:17:53,164 Конец Гриффинам?
00:17:53,194 --> 00:17:55,544 Господин президент, нам нужно окончательное подтверждение!
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,744 Постойте, Джули! Ты о чем, парень?
00:17:57,774 --> 00:18:00,554 Снятие эпизода с эфира по причине того, что кто-то обиделся влечет за собой цепную реакцию.
00:18:00,594 --> 00:18:03,944 Вам придется убирать эпизод за эпизодом, пока сериал полностью не уйдет из эфира.
00:18:03,984 --> 00:18:05,574 Так случилось с "Лаверн и Ширли".
00:18:05,604 --> 00:18:09,234 Так ты говоришь, что ламантины не пытаются управлять телеканалом?
00:18:09,274 --> 00:18:10,984 Какие еще ламантины??!!!
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:14,224 Продолжайте, господин президент! Делайте то, что начали.
00:18:14,264 --> 00:18:16,754 Нет! Вы должны показать Мухаммеда, господин президент!
00:18:16,784 --> 00:18:18,914 Господин президент, мы ждем ваших распоряжений!
00:18:18,944 --> 00:18:21,464 Сэр, подумайте, что вы делаете со свободой слова!
00:18:21,504 --> 00:18:23,294 Нет! Подумайте о людях, которые могут пострадать!
00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:25,714 Не знаю, кого мне слушать!
00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,294 Ладно, облегчу вам задачу.
00:18:27,324 --> 00:18:30,314 Снимай с эфира эпизод. Быстро!
00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:32,534 Ладно, послушаю тебя. Джули?
00:18:32,564 --> 00:18:34,554 Нет! Не слушайте его!
00:18:34,594 --> 00:18:37,544 Он лживая коварная тварь, которая только и хочет снять Гриффинов с эфира!
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:38,714 Но у него пистолет.
00:18:38,754 --> 00:18:42,684 Нельзя делать то, что ему нужно, потому, что он угрожает вам насилием!
00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:43,844 Заткнись, Кайл!
00:18:43,884 --> 00:18:46,314 Но я не могу взять на себя ответственность за то, что пострадают люди.
00:18:46,354 --> 00:18:47,404 Особенно я.
00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:50,534 Да, люди могут пострадать. Именно так терроризм и работает.
00:18:50,574 --> 00:18:54,054 Но если вы поддадитесь, Даг, вы позволите терроризму сработать.
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:55,644 Поступите правильно.
00:18:55,674 --> 00:18:57,574 Отдайте приказ убрать эпизод, господин президент!
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,844 А меня ведь и не должно уже было быть в офисе.
00:18:59,874 --> 00:19:01,884 Сегодня пятница, сокращенный день.
00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:05,514 Господин президент, тридцать секунд до эфира. Что вы нам прикажете?
00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:07,374 Поступите правильно, господин президент.
00:19:07,404 --> 00:19:11,134 А что, если я пущу эпизод в эфир, но опять вырежу изображение Мухаммеда?
00:19:11,164 --> 00:19:12,324 Хотелось бы, чтобы этого хватило...
00:19:12,324 --> 00:19:16,004 но если вы вырежете изображение Мухаммеда, то вскоре вам придется вырезать что-то еще.
00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:17,834 Кайл, харэ тут педрические речи толкать!
00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:19,054 Если вы не покажете Мухаммеда...
00:19:19,084 --> 00:19:22,944 то вам придется разделять, над чем можно шутить, а над чем нет.
00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:25,544 Тут либо всё, либо ничего.
00:19:25,574 --> 00:19:26,984 Пять секунд, господин президент!
00:19:27,994 --> 00:19:31,264 Поступите правильно. Покажите Мухаммеда.
00:19:32,274 --> 00:19:34,704 Поступите...правильно.
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:37,294 Господин президент, ваше решение!
00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:43,234 Гриффины идут в эфир, как и планировалось. Без купюр.
00:19:44,904 --> 00:19:47,474 Нет! Нет! Ненавижу Гриффинов!!
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,374 Пускайте в эфир!
00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:01,264 Питер! Тебя уволили с работы?
00:20:01,294 --> 00:20:03,064 Думаешь, ЭТО плохо?
00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:07,654 А помнишь, как в тот раз я получил от Мухаммеда лососевый шлем, когда носил тогу?
00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:10,114 Иду, Мухаммед.
00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:16,654 В этом кадре Мухаммед вручает футбольный шлем Гриффинам.
00:20:16,684 --> 00:20:21,204 Comedy Central отказались показывать изображение Мухаммеда на своем телеканале.
00:20:21,244 --> 00:20:26,304 Ух-ты! Лососевый шлем! Спасибо!
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,404 Кстати, о чем мы там говорили?
00:20:29,444 --> 00:20:31,034 Ах да! Меня уволили.
00:20:31,074 --> 00:20:33,694 Эй, а это было совсем не плохо.
00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:36,824 Просто показали, что там стоял Мухаммед, и выглядел нормально.
00:20:36,864 --> 00:20:39,694 Господин президент, террористы наносят ответный удар!
00:20:39,724 --> 00:20:40,404 Что!?
00:20:40,434 --> 00:20:41,414 Или как тогда…
00:20:41,454 --> 00:20:43,584 Как только было показано изображение Мухаммеда...
00:20:43,614 --> 00:20:46,694 ...лидер террористов Аль Завари провозгласил ответный удар!
00:20:48,244 --> 00:20:49,994 Мы предупреждали, чтобы вы не показывали Мухаммеда
00:20:50,024 --> 00:20:52,594 но Гриффины всё равно это сделали.
00:20:52,624 --> 00:20:56,054 И вот наш ответный удар Америке!!!!
00:21:02,414 --> 00:21:03,984 Здрасте, я - американец.
00:21:04,024 --> 00:21:05,534 Я тоже американец.
00:21:05,574 --> 00:21:07,404 Мы любим срать друг на друга.
00:21:09,014 --> 00:21:12,304 Привет, я - президент Буш. Я насру на вас обоих.
00:21:12,344 --> 00:21:14,444 Обожаем срать!
00:21:14,484 --> 00:21:18,304 Я- американка. Я беременна, но я не замужем.
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,504 Давайте срать.
00:21:19,534 --> 00:21:25,204 Смотрите на меня! Я Иисус! Хотите, я насру на вас, мистер Буш?
00:21:25,894 --> 00:21:28,774 Мммм! Вкусные-превкусные какашки.
00:21:37,164 --> 00:21:39,044 Вот так вам и надо!
00:21:39,074 --> 00:21:44,694 Мы вас порвали! Это было гораздо смешнее, чем Гриффины!
00:21:48,634 --> 00:21:52,764 перевод, субтитры mulder mulder@hotbox.ru для southpark.org.ru

00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,971 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,487 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:32,950 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,789 The popular cartoon "Family Guy"
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,834 is going to show the image of Muhammad uncensored!
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,086 If we all bury our heads in sand,
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,505 we can avoid being any part of this.
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,923 And I'm gonna do whatever I can
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,259 to get that episode pulled before this gets out of hand.
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,386 You just want "Family Guy" off the air.
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,429 [ Tires screeching ]
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,847 Kyle, stop it!
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,515 So long, Kyle!
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,851 You son of a bitch! I won't let you win!
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,770 Mr. President... there's something
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,106 about the "Family Guy" writing staff I think you should know.
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:09,028 MAN: And now the thrilling conclusion of "Cartoon Wars"...
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,739 will not be seen tonight so that we can bring you
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,492 this "Terrance & Phillip" television special!
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:18,412 [ Horn toots, mid-tempo jazz plays ]
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,334 [ Music continues ]
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,212 Say, Terrance, isn't it wonderful having a holiday
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,671 here at the Lazy "J" ranch?
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,090 It sure is, Phillip.
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:31,592 But I do believe this steer I'm riding has the farts.
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,968 [ Farts ]
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,137 [ Both laugh ]
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,472 Oh! Look who's coming!
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,267 Isn't that Muhammad, the holy prophet of the Muslim religion?
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:45,439 Hey, guys. How's it going?
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,565 Hello, Muhammad.
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,275 We've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,860 I'm here to investigate a murder.
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:53,114 TERRANCE: All right! Just what the hell is going on here?!
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,990 You censored out the image of Muhammad
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,492 in our television special!
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,202 Eh. You guys know the rules.
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,079 Nobody can show the image of Muhammad anymore.
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,414 - It's dangerous. - But you ruined the whole show!
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,791 Look, I'm not going to risk the lives
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:04,959 of the people at this network.
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,377 Let's just forget aboot it, okay, guys?
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,170 [ Farts, laughs ]
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,840 Oh, come on, guys. Give me a break.
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,676 We demand you rerun "Mystery at the Lazy 'J' Ranch"
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,344 with Muhammad uncensored!
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,179 Eh! I run this network, not you guys!
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,180 And if you ask me,
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,765 your show has become so preachy and full of messages
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:20,891 that you've forgotten how to be funny!
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:21,600 No Muhammad!
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,435 But "Family Guy" is going to show Muhammad
00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,354 on an episode that airs tonight!
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,438 I doubt it!
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,357 I'll bet that right now, somebody is on their way
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,943 to Fox network to demand that that episode be pulled!
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,529 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,915 Ma'am, I need to speak with the president of this network
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,916 right away.
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,376 What is it regarding?
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,086 It's regarding "Family Guy."
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,173 I demand the Muhammad episode be pulled before it airs tonight.
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466 It's incendiary, it's offensive to Muslims,
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:55,718 and people can get hurt.
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,220 It's wrong. It's wro-o-o-ng!
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,140 Okay, but if you've got a problem with "Family Guy,"
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,600 you'll have to wait in line.
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,310 That little boy over there has an appointment
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:08,314 to try and get "Family Guy" off the air altogether.
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,650 Dude, can I go before you?
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,194 Eat my shorts.
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,946 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,410 What the hell is going on?
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,290 Hello?
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,627 Excuse me? I need to get to Los Angeles.
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,462 Hey!
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,759 Hello?!
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,012 ...starting in a small town in central Colorado,
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:43,432 the idea has now spread all over America.
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,851 Muslims continue to riot in the Middle East,
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:49,188 demanding that "Family Guy" not air tonight's episode.
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,233 And Muslim terrorists continue to make threats.
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,534 Osama bin Laden had this to say.
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,663 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,715 Bin Laden went on to say
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,052 that if "Family Guy" shows the image of Muhammad as planned,
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,471 the terrorist retaliation will be immediate.
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,223 [ Gun cocks ]
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,725 - You one of them? - Who?
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,228 How come your head ain't in the sand?
00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,232 [ Muzak playing ]
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:40,239 So...you don't like "Family Guy" either, huh?
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:43,367 I hate "Family Guy."
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:44,827 So what's your plan?
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,370 You gonna ask the president of the network nicely
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,663 to take it off the air?
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,165 Not nicely.
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,209 Look, kid, if you hate a TV show,
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,670 all you have to do is get an episode pulled.
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,130 Pretty soon the show is compromised,
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,464 and it goes off the air.
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,757 Cool, man!
00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,633 Yes.
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,510 So my plan is to use this whole Muhammad thing
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,263 as a way to scare the network into pulling tonight's show.
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,266 I'm going to use fear to get them to do what I want.
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,727 Isn't that like terrorism?
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,479 No, it isn't <i>like</i> terrorism.
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,939 It <i>is</i> terrorism.
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,482 I can do that!
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,234 This is manipulation at its highest level.
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,319 You should let me handle this.
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,070 I'm a pretty bad kid.
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,156 Really? What's the worst thing you've ever done?
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,575 I stole the head off a statue once.
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,869 Wow. That's pretty hard-core.
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,786 Geez.
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,997 That's like this one time when I didn't like a kid,
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,625 so I ground his parents up into chili and fed it to him.
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,255 You got it, man. You got it.
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,298 See ya.
00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:41,675 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:05:43,469 --> 00:05:47,014 I want to assure the American people that as president,
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,516 I have exhausted every possible solution.
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,561 Unfortunately, Muhammad will appear uncensored
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,605 on "Family Guy" tonight at 7:00.
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,524 ALL: Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,402 Mr. President, can't the writers of the show be reasoned with?
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,404 Don't they know they're putting the country in danger?
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,699 I have come to understand
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,369 something about the "Family Guy" writing staff.
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,663 Suffice it to say that they will not be persuaded
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,374 by the possibility of violence.
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,750 ALL: Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,001 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,169 What exactly did you learn
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,630 about the "Family Guy" writing staff, Mr. President?
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,925 I'm afraid that information is classified.
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,426 ALL: Aww!
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,887 Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,932 Mr. President, can't you force the "Family Guy" writing staff
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,683 not to write anything about Muhammad?
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,185 Couldn't you throw them in prison?
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:36,688 Look, the fact of the matter is the "Family Guy" writing staff
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:40,192 is protected by something called the First Amendment.
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,238 And what exactly is this First Amendment, Mr. President?
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,242 You know -- right to free speech.
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,953 ALL: Aww!
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,746 ALL: Mr. President! Mr. President!
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:53,580 Mr. President!
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457 Mr. President, when your administration
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,626 came up with this First Amendment,
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,254 did it not foresee a problem like this might happen?
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:04,216 Well, we didn't come up with the First Amendment.
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,634 It was already in place.
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,302 What do you intend to do
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,763 about this First Amendment, Mr. President?
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,724 Forgive me, Mr. President, but this First Amendment
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,602 sounds like a lot of bureaucratic jibbery-joo.
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,229 - Yeah! - That's right!
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,440 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,569 Okay. Let's discuss the fall lineup.
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,612 Sir, there's still one little boy out here
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:26,697 who wants to speak with you
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,490 about pulling the "Family Guy" episode.
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,451 All right. Let's get this over with.
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,038 Hello, gentlemen, ladies.
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,040 My name is little Danny Pocket,
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,750 and I won't take much of your time.
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,419 Please excuse my tiny crutch.
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,629 It's the only way I can get around these days.
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,464 Ow.
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,591 - Oh, poor kid. - Poor kid. Yeah.
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,010 You see, my father worked for a newspaper
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,928 in my native country of Denmark.
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,513 His newspaper showed an image of Muhammad,
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:55,434 and two days later, terrorists suicide-bombed his building.
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:56,977 I was in the lobby when it happened.
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,937 First one terrorist suicide-bombed us,
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,314 and then dozens more.
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,273 They just kept coming --
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,150 suicide bombers running in the building
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,818 and blowing up, one after another.
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,778 They were like Mexican jumping beans.
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,283 I just don't want to see people here at your studio getting hurt
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,912 because that would be, of course, your responsibility.
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,289 [ Coughs ] Ow.
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:19,833 I feel terrible.
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,793 It's so easy to put terrorism out of mind
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,880 until one of its victims is staring you in the face.
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,340 Sir, if we pull the episode,
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:29,676 the "Family Guy" writing staff will refuse to work again.
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,846 Little boy, will you talk to the "Family Guy" writing staff?
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,475 If your story touches their hearts like it has ours,
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,937 perhaps they'll back down from demanding we air the episode.
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,231 I'll certainly do my best. [ Coughs ] Ow.
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,775 Take this noble child over to the "Family Guy" offices.
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,610 If he can scare them like he has us,
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,363 maybe we <i>can</i> pull the Muhammad episode after all.
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,698 Yes. And then "Family Guy" is as good as dead.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:52,783 What was what?
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:56,620 I-I said thank you. Thank you for listening.
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,043 Thanks a lot for the ride.
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,962 Hey, it's the least I could do.
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,588 I hope you succeed, kid.
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,174 I really don't want to see "Family Guy" go off the air.
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,842 I love that show!
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,469 I'll do everything I can.
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,806 I mean, I know it's just joke after joke, but I like that.
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,182 At least it doesn't get all preachy
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,143 and up its own ass with messages, you know?
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,945 Excuse me!
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,115 Do you know which way the network president's office is?
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,575 Who wants to know?
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,952 Look, my fat bastard friend is trying to trick the network
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,162 into getting "Family Guy" off the air.
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,208 The network president's office is in there.
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,336 Oh. Thanks, dude.
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,130 No problem, man.
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,134 Hello?
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,553 This can't be right. I -- [ Grunts ]
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,432 Cowabunga, motherfucker!
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,852 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,520 Hello, Mitchell.
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:04,855 Oh, hi, Ms. Travis.
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,774 The president has asked that little Danny Pocket here
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,235 speak with the "Family Guy" writing staff.
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,653 Are you sure?
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,655 They're working on a new episode right now.
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,865 It won't take long, sir.
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,908 [ Coughs ] Ow.
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,243 All right. I'll take him back.
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,245 Follow me, little Danny.
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,830 You must be excited.
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,832 Not many people get to meet our writing staff.
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,375 Yes. I'm totally excited.
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,419 "Family Guy" is so funny.
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,297 Well, here we are.
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,133 Danny, the "Family Guy" writing staff.
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,302 What?
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,597 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:44,728 - What are they? - They're manatees.
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:47,230 Gretchen and Flubber are from the Gulf of Mexico.
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,316 Tigger, Pete, and Lucy are from the Caribbean Sea.
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,569 "Family Guy" is written by manatees?
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,447 Of course. It all makes sense now.
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,074 They really are brilliant creatures.
00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,035 You see, the right side of the tank is filled with idea balls.
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,079 Each idea ball has a verb, noun,
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,830 or pop-culture reference written on it.
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:04,873 There's millions of them.
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,084 The manatees choose an idea ball
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,711 and swim it to the joke combine on the other side of the tank.
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:13,090 There goes Gretchen! She's coming up with an idea!
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,175 Oh, she came up with Gary Coleman.
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,302 The idea balls drop into the joke combine
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,429 and form a part of the new script.
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:24,267 "Laundry," "date," "winning," "Mexico," "Gary Coleman."
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,602 A perfect "Family Guy" joke!
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,646 I can see it now!
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,524 Peter, you didn't do the laundry today.
00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:32,234 You think <i>that's</i> bad?
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:36,613 Remember the time I won a date to Mexico with Gary Coleman?
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,032 - [ Mariachi music playing ] - ¿Qué pasó, señors?
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,784 What you talking 'bout, Willis?
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:41,827 W-Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,287 These manatees demanded that Muhammad be shown?
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,997 How? Manatees don't talk!
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,333 When Fox censored the image of Muhammad last week,
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,793 it also meant that the Muhammad ball
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,045 had to come out of the idea tank.
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,506 It made the manatees very upset.
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,050 Pull just one idea ball out of the idea tank,
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,802 and the manatees stop working.
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,387 Here. I'll show you. Keith?
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:06,017 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,273 All right. All right. Put it back in!
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,402 Manatees are very ethical writers.
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,238 Either everything is okay to write about or nothing is.
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,031 Anyway, the president of the network
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,992 wanted you to speak with the manatees?
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,994 Oh. Yes, yes.
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,329 Um...hello, manatees.
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,873 I-I think you should allow the network
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,624 to pull your episode with Muhammad.
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,710 See, I'm the victim of a-a terrorist attack,
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,670 and terrorists might come after you if --
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,756 - That isn't gonna work on them. - Why not?
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,758 Don't you know anything about manatees?
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,843 They're the only mammals that are completely unmoved
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,678 by terrorist threats.
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:44,806 Son of a bitch.
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,683 [ Grunting ]
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,019 Let me out of here, kid. Why are you doing this?!
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,605 CARTMAN: Well, well, well.
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,900 - Cartman! - Hello, Kyle.
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,651 Looks like you've run into a little snag
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,903 in your plan as well.
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362 You fat son of a bitch!
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,615 You came so close to stopping me, didn't you, Kyle?
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,283 There was just one thing you didn't count on --
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,119 that more people besides me hate "Family Guy."
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,871 Yeah.
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,831 Well, a lot of people like "Family Guy," too!
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,750 Who are you to decide it shouldn't be on the air?!
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,294 Shut up! You shut your fucking face, man!
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,295 Did it work?
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,756 Did you scare the network into pulling the episode?
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,801 Not yet, but I've come up with a new plan.
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,928 I've learned how to make the "Family Guy" writing staff
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:23,970 stop working.
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,764 As soon as everyone goes on their lunch break,
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,057 I can sneak back in.
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,225 Cool, man.
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,435 Cartman, let me out of this stupid net!
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,394 Good, Kyle!
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,813 That's good anger you're showing there!
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,647 You see that?
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,940 That's emotional character development
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,108 based on what's happening in the story line.
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,860 Not at all like "Family Guy."
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,404 Now, if you'll excuse me, Kyle,
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:45,242 I've got some idea balls to remove from a manatee tank.
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,744 What?!
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,746 I don't understand it.
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,873 What's wrong with them?
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,084 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,170 We don't know, Mr. President. They just stopped working.
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,215 But nobody took any idea balls out of the tank, did they?
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,592 No, sir. None of us did.
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,678 Then why are they refusing to write?
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,222 I agreed to show Muhammad uncensored!
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,932 I did what you asked!
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,101 What do you want from me?!
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,185 Sir, sir.
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,605 If you don't mind my saying, I think you asked for this.
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,149 You gave in to the manatees last week.
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,901 Now they know all they have to do is refuse to work
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,361 and they can get whatever they want.
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,071 You've spoiled them by caving in.
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,906 Now they think they can walk all over you.
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,410 Sir, you are in charge of this network, not them.
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,955 Maybe it's time you showed them who's in charge.
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,582 You're right.
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,126 It's time I stop letting these prima donna manatees
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,377 tell me what to do!
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,254 I'm pulling the Muhammad episode!
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,171 You got that?!
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,923 And if you all don't want to work tomorrow,
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,758 you can just find other jobs!
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,760 How long before "Family Guy" is supposed to air?
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,887 25 minutes.
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,722 I got to hurry!
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,682 I did it.
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,810 I...am...God!
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,771 ♪ "Family Guy" is goin' off the air ♪
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,940 ♪ No more "Family Guy" for me, mon frère ♪
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,775 Cartman!
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,570 You fucking fat ass.
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:04,946 How the hell did you get out?
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,073 That kid and I had a long talk.
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,867 I told him he was on a slippery slope
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,702 to becoming a monster like you.
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,620 Oh, God damn it,
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,496 you gave him one of your gay little speeches, didn't you?
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,082 You are not killing "Family Guy."
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,125 You're too late, Kyle.
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,085 The president of the network is pulling the episode.
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046 "Family Guy" is as good as dead.
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881 There's still time to tell the network president
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,257 you're full of crap!
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,009 I can't let you do that.
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,552 Get out of my way or I'll kick your ass!
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,387 Fine, Kyle.
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,014 I guess it was inevitable.
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,684 Let this be our final battle.
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:38,355 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,522 Aah!
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,691 Ow. Ow! Stop it!
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,443 Kyle, that's too hard! Ow!
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,195 [ Grunts ] Kyle, stop it!
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,363 Ow! Quit it!
00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,739 Quit it, Kyle! Let -- Kyle!
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,866 [ Grunts ]
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,829 - Stop it! - Quit it!
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,581 Quit it, Kyle! Let -- Kyle!
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,458 Let -- Okay, okay. Time out!
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,961 Time out! Kyle! Time out! Time out! Time out!
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,587 Time in!
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,590 I -- Ow! [ Grunting ]
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,510 Okay, okay! Time out! Kyle! Time out! Time out! Time out!
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,136 - No more time-outs, fat-ass! - Time out! Time out! Time out!
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,805 Time out, Kyle.
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,269 [ Birds chirping ]
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:20,397 [ Both grunting ]
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,317 - Kyle -- - [ Grunts ]
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,610 Get the -- Kyle.
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,487 Kyle, dude, that was -- that was in the balls!
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,614 Dude, seriously! Seriously! That was in the balls!
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,450 No hitting -- No hitting in the balls!
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:35,954 Kyle.
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,626 [ Both panting ]
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,173 [ Muffled ] Let me up, Kyle!
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,300 Let me up, Kyle!
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,597 [ Both grunting ]
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,640 Okay.
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,976 Stop it! Okay, okay, okay!
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,561 You win!
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,147 You win. I give up.
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:03,898 [ Grunts ]
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:06,526 Ha ha! I had my fingers crossed.
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,944 [ Coughing ]
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,779 [ Thud ]
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,826 [ Coughs ] Thanks, kid.
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,620 Network control, this is the president.
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,456 I want you to pull the episode.
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:21,124 What?
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,168 Mr. President, are you sure?
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,753 I'm sure.
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,048 Begin episode jettison sequence 0-2-900.
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,928 - [ Whirring ] <i>- Abort system initiated.</i>
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,305 Awaiting confirmation.
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,807 Mr. President, we need your final approval code.
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,810 Presidential approval code zero, zero, destruct--
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:43,354 Sir! Mr. Television executive! Stop!
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,981 - Who are you? - Listen to me.
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,067 The little boy who convinced you to pull the episode
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,193 is a bastard child.
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,235 He only wants you to pull it
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,863 because he knows it will be the end of "Family Guy" forever.
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,114 The end of "Family Guy"?
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,450 Mr. President, we need final authorization.
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,660 Hold on, Julie. What are you talking about, kid?
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,245 Pulling an episode because somebody is offended
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,538 starts a chain reaction.
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,082 You'll have to pull more and more episodes
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,792 until the show goes off the air completely.
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,460 It's what happened to "Laverne & Shirley"!
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,172 You mean...the manatees aren't trying to run the network?
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,091 What manatees?
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,092 [ Grunts ]
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,344 Go ahead, Mr. President. Continue what you were doing.
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,721 No! You have to show Muhammad, Mr. President!
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,807 Mr. President, we're awaiting your orders!
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,476 Sir, just think about what you're doing to free speech.
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,228 No. Think about the people who could get hurt!
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,772 I-I don't know who to listen to!
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,108 Okay. I'll make it easy for you.
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,110 - Pull the Muhammad episode now! - [ Gun cocks ]
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,237 Okay. I'll listen to you. Julie?
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,405 No! Wait! You can't listen to him!
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,740 He's a lying, deceitful monster
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,408 who only wants "Family Guy" off the air!
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,493 But he has a gun.
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,161 You can't do what he wants
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,580 just because he's the one threatening you with violence!
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,790 Shut up, Kyle!
00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,209 I can't be responsible for people getting hurt.
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,210 Especially me.
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,547 Yes. People can get hurt. That's how terrorism works.
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,090 But if you give in to that, Doug,
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,008 you're allowing terrorism to work.
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,593 Do the right thing here.
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,512 Give the orders to pull the episode, Mr. President.
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,597 I shouldn't even be in the office still!
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,142 It's supposed to be half-day Fridays!
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,977 Mr. President, 30 seconds to airtime.
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,436 What do you want us to do?
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,272 Do the right thing, Mr. President.
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,023 How about I allow the episode to air
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,151 but just censor out the image of Muhammad again?
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,402 I wish that was good enough.
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,028 But if you censor out Muhammad,
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,989 then soon you'll have to censor out more.
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,740 No gay speeches, Kyle!
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,285 If you don't show Muhammad, then you've made a distinction
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,871 between what <i>is</i> okay to poke fun at and what isn't.
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,498 Either it's all okay or none of it is.
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,000 Five seconds, Mr. President!
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,212 Do the right thing. Show Muhammad.
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,757 Do the right thing.
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,385 Mr. President, we need a decision now!
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,596 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:44,184 "Family Guy" goes on air as planned, uncensored.
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,810 - Yes! - No!
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,145 No! I hate "Family Guy"!
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,522 [ Gun clicking ]
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,942 Air it!
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,236 [ Bell ringing ]
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,950 Peter, you got a pink slip at work?
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,911 You think <i>that's</i> bad?
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,039 Remember the time I got a salmon helmet from Muhammad
00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415 while wearing a toga?
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,791 [ Doorbell rings ]
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,252 Coming, Muhammad!
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,391 Wow! A salmon helmet!
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,185 Thanks!
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,103 Anyway, what were we talking about?
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,105 Oh, yeah. My pink slip.
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,775 Hey, that wasn't bad at all.
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,945 They just showed Muhammad standing there, looking normal!
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,697 Mr. President, the terrorists are retaliating!
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,366 - What?! - Remember the time I --
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,493 And as soon as the image of Muhammad appeared,
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,746 terrorist leader al-Zawahiri announced the retaliation.
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,634 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,097 Hello! I am American!
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:05,682 I am American, too!
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,392 We like to crap on each other!
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,060 [ Farting ]
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,188 Hello. I am the President Bush. I will crap on both you.
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,189 - [ Farts ] - Oh!
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,649 We love to crap!
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,900 I'm American!
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,027 I'm pregnant with a baby, but I'm not married.
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:19,570 Let's crap!
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:20,947 [ Farting ]
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,198 Look at me. I'm Jesus.
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,993 Would you like for me to crap on you, Mr. Bush?
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,160 [ Farting ]
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,621 ALL: Mmm! Yummy, Yummy crap!
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:30,331 [All farting ]

Скриншоты

Мультипликационные войны, часть II — скриншот 1

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