Мультипликационные войны, часть I

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,992

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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"But the Bubble Gum Prince

wasn't afraid."

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"He knew that

the Land of Chocolate was safe

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forever and ever."

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Good night, my little angel.

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- Stan!

- What?! What?!

00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,602

Get up!

Get your shoes on!

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We've got to get out of here!

Move!

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Take this!

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We've got to bring

all the water we can!

00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,733

Shelly, go get my gun!

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What's going on, Dad?

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Just get the gun!

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All right.

Come on!

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Look out!

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Kyle, what the hell

is going on this time?

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I have no idea!

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Oh! Oh!

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Take cover in

the community center again!

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All right! Everyone get in

and get a seal on that door!

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Oh, my God, Stephen!

We've left Butters!

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We can't go back out there,

Linda!

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It's too late for him!

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Dad?

Dad, what the hell is going on?!

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A cartoon.

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A cartoon is about to air

on American television with...

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with the Muslim prophet

Muhammad as a character.

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So?

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So?! Stanley, Muhammad is sacred

to the Muslim people.

00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:05,543

Ever since those cartoons in

Denmark, the rules have changed.

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Nobody shows an image

of Muhammad anymore.

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Which cartoon is it?

00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,382

What cartoon would be

so insensitive

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as to have Muhammad

as a character?

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Who do you think?

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The cartoon that's

always pushing buttons

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with their careless

toilet humor.

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"Family Guy"!

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Aww!

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How could "Family Guy" do that?

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Why would "Family Guy"

so blatantly insult Muslims?

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Because "Family Guy"

doesn't care who they insult!

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They only care about

their precious money!

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Oh, come on, people.

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You think anybody's gonna be

that pissed off about a cartoon?

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We've got the TV working!

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Once again, a cartoon depicting

the Muslim prophet Muhammad

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is set to air tonight

on "Family Guy."

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Oh, Randy, hold me.

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The news has already sparked

a shock wave of protests

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throughout the Muslim world.

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All over the Middle East,

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Muslims are burning

American flags

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and "Family Guy" posters.

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Muslim terrorists al-Zawahiri

made this statement.

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So what happens now?

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We stay here through the night.

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Wait it out

to see if they do anything.

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If we're still alive

in the morning...

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then we'll know we're not dead.

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It's okay!

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We're alive?

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We're alive!

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Everyone!

Everyone listen!

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Fox network censored the image

of Muhammad at the last minute!

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- Oh, thank God.

- Oh, good.

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Well, it looks like

we dodged a bullet.

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They censored the image

of Muhammad? How?

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I TiVo every episode.

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We can go to my house

and see what they did.

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Okay, you guys. Check it out.

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You TiVo every episode

of "Family Guy"?

00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,285

Dude, it's a good show.

00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,828

Yeah. Lots of people

like "Family Guy."

00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:05,996

Ugh.

00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,165

Peter, I can't believe

you invited

00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,794

your old high school sweetheart

over for dinner!

00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,462

You think that's bad?

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Remember when I auditioned

to be David Hasselhoff's car?

00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,634

Hey, there, Knight Rider!

00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,594

After those bad guys, KITT.

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Yeah, but, Dad,

why would you invite

00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,892

an ex-girlfriend to dinner?

00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,520

Perhaps he wants to make

our mother nervous.

00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,729

Nervous?!

00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:34,566

Like when I had to sell pancakes

to the school soccer captain?

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Pancakes for you, Captain.

00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,406

I'll be the Captain,

and you be Tennille!

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♪ Love will keep us together ♪

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Ugh.

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But, Peter, I don't want

to cook dinner

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for your ex-girlfriend.

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Well, maybe we can

just have tea.

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You mean like the time

you had tea with Muhammad,

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the prophet

of the Muslim faith?

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Come on, Muhammad.

Let's get some tea.

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Try my Mr. T Tea.

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Boy, was that ever weird.

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Anyway, I can't believe

I invited

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my old sweetheart to dinner,

huh?

00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,523

That's it?

That's all they did?

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Oh, man.

That's not cool.

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Seriously, that is not cool.

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What?

What's the big deal?

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What's the big deal?

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You guys, they just made fun

of the religion

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of an entire group of people.

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You guys think that's okay?

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Do you care at all

about people's feelings?

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Since when do you care about

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being sensitive to people's

religion, Cartman?

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Yeah, you rip on people's

religion all the time!

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That's different!

I'm just a little boy.

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That's a cartoon.

Millions of people watch it.

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How would you feel, Kyle,

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if there was a cartoon

on television

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that made fun of Jews

all the time, huh?

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Uh...

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I'm telling you guys,

it's wrong.

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It's wrong!

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It's wro-o-o-o-ng!

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Kyle? Kyle!

What are you watching?!

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Hey, Brian,

this is like the time

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I got a job as a carrot cake.

00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,488

Aah!

It's "Family Guy"!

00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,114

Quick, Gerald!

Do something!

00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,449

Hyah!

00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,035

Gaah! Aah!

00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,329

Dad! Dad!

Jesus Christ!

00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,706

It's okay.

00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:13,707

It's dead.

00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,793

You boys know you're

not supposed to watch

00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,044

that careless show!

00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,337

Mom, it was nothing.

00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,422

Muhammad just stood there

and then drank some tea.

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You boys don't understand

anything!

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It's obvious that you all need

Muslim sensitivity training!

00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:30,182

Welcome to Muslim

sensitivity training.

00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,810

It is important

for us to understand

00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,187

why the Muslims feel

the way they do

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and why we can never show

an image of Muhammad.

00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,776

No, Muslims can't show

an image of Muhammad.

00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,611

Kyle, you're not being

very sensitive.

00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,404

Yeah, Kyle.

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Maybe you think this is funny,

but the rest of us don't.

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Let's all look at

why Muslims are upset.

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First of all,

in the Muslim religion,

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you're not allowed to have what?

00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,041

Sex!

Good.

00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,169

There's no sex until marriage

in the Muslim world.

00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,839

Now, this would be fine, except

that in the Muslim religion

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,549

you also can't...

00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,426

Anybody?

00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,386

Jack off.

Okay?

00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,597

Jacking it is strictly forbidden

in the Muslim religion.

00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,559

And what do we know

about the places Muslims live?

00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,602

They live in...

00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,230

Good.

Sand.

00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,566

Now, put yourself

in the shoes of a Muslim.

00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,025

It's Friday night,

00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:25,028

but you can't have sex,

and you can't jack off.

00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,280

There's sand in your eyes

00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,739

and probably in the crack

of your ass,

00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,199

and then some cartoon

comes along,

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from a country where people

a re getting laid,

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and mocks your prophet.

00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,581

Well, you know what?

I'd be pretty pissed off, too!

00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,875

Mrs. Garrison,

that is ignorant and racist!

00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543

Muslims are mad

because of "Family Guy,"

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not because they can't jack off.

00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,087

Right, Wendy?

00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,380

Yeah.

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Attention, students,

proceed to the school gymnasium

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immediately for

an emergency announcement!

00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,805

What the hell is going on now?

00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,934

Shh!

Quiet, students! Quiet!

00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,728

Once again,

we have just learned

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that the "Family Guy" episode

featuring Muhammad

00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,066

was only part one

of a two-parter!

00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,569

And part two is going to air

next week

00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,738

with Muhammad uncensored.

00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,823

- What?

- Why would they...

00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,493

Fox Studios claims that

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,829

has demanded the Muhammad

character be seen in full view.

00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,706

The head of Fox had this to say.

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"Family Guy"

is our biggest show.

00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,712

If they insist we don't censor

their work, then we -- we can't!

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,923

"Family Guy"!

00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,841

I damn you to hell!

00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,719

Once again, bitter riots

have started in the Middle East,

00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,471

this time even more massive.

00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,933

And terrorist leader al-Zawahiri

has issued a threat.

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Retaliation.

00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,121

Oh, my God, m'kay.

00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,709

Goddamn "Family Guy."

00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,378

Now they're just

provoking people.

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,046

It's like they want a holy war.

00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,798

Does this mean we don't

have school all week?

00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,716

You guys, this is serious!

00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,802

- We have to do something.

- Mrph rmh?

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,887

We have to go to Fox network

in L.A.

00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,057

We have to go and...

try to get that episode pulled.

00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,767

You guys with me?

00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,851

Dude, we can't go anywhere.

00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,603

They've shut down the airports

and the buses.

00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,397

Then we'll ride our Big Wheels!

00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,941

- To Los Angeles?

- If that's what it takes, yes!

00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,276

We have to talk to the network.

00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,528

The "Family Guy" writers

aren't gonna back down!

00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,154

Well, good for them!

They shouldn't!

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,239

The writers are standing up

00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,074

and saying they aren't

going to be intimidated.

00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,242

Intimidated?

00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,827

Is that what you think

this is about, Kyle?

00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,745

All right, dude. What the hell

has gotten into you?

00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,163

I don't trust for one second

00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,666

that your sudden concern

for the Muslim people is real.

00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,750

All right.

Fine, Kyle.

00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,377

Forget the Muslim faith

for a minute.

00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,878

People can get hurt.

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,505

If 10 people die

because "Family Guy"

00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,173

just had to have

their little joke,

00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,508

will you still think it's funny?

00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:56,054

What if a hundred people die?

Will it be funny then, Kyle?

00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,767

I'm going to Los Angeles,

and I'm gonna do whatever I can

00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,936

to get that episode pulled

before this gets out of hand.

00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,480

Somebody has to speak

for the Muslim people.

00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,524

Somebody has to speak

for what's right.

00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,496

Kyle! Kyle, wake up!

We have to go!

00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,957

The terrorists are attacking!

00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,294

Dad, are you sure this time?

00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,670

This isn't a joke, Kyle.

00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,131

Bombs have already gone off

in six cities!

00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,549

- No!

- Wait a minute!

00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,426

- Where's Ike?!

- He was just here!

00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,094

- Ike!

- Ike!

00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,098

Ike?!

Ike!

00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,099

Ike!

00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,477

Ice cream!

00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,437

I want chocolate!

00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,648

Ike, this way!

00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,193

Ike!

00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,154

Kyle!

00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,323

No!

00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,013

You come to try and stop me?

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,599

It isn't gonna work.

00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,101

I didn't come to stop you.

00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,937

I-I think you're right, Cartman.

00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,648

I want to help you get

the "Family Guy" episode pulled.

00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,361

Yeah. Well, I don't need

a partner on this.

00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,239

Especially one

who doesn't trust me.

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,490

Look, Cartman.

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,908

I don't know what's gotten

into you,

00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,285

but I think it's pretty amazing.

00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,537

And I think it's real.

00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,957

You have to understand why

I didn't believe you before.

00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,877

Yeah, I do understand, Kyle.

00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,338

I've been doing the wrong things

for a long time,

00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,757

doing things

for my own selfish reasons.

00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,385

I just want to do something

right, you know?

00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,303

Just this one time.

00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,764

It's a long trip, dude.

You're gonna need help.

00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,559

We can try and get

the episode pulled together.

00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,061

You know, we might not

even make it into the studio.

00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,229

I know.

00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:13,316

But just like you...

I feel like I have to try.

00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,527

People can really get hurt.

00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,446

And a joke just isn't worth

that.

00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,489

So what made you change

your mind?

00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,410

I got some sound advice

from an old friend.

00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,331

Well, Kyle,

we'd better get going.

00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,458

Yeah!

00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:35,881

You set?

00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,424

I'm set.

Let's do this!

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,550

All right!

Let's roll!

00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,225

People!

People, quiet, please!

00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,769

We must not panic.

00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,228

Well, what are we gonna do,

Mayor?

00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,482

Part two of the "Family Guy"

episode airs in six days!

00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,610

I believe that Professor Thomas

from the university

00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,278

has come up with a solution.

00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,489

Thank you, Mayor.

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,823

Now, look, everyone.

00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,493

Muslim terrorists and extremists

are threatening us

00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,244

for what "Family Guy"

is going to do

00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,538

because they've wrongly

grouped us together.

00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,500

Our only hope is to make

the Muslim extremists know

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,252

that we had no part

in the Muhammad episode,

00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,004

that even though

the episode aired,

00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,965

we didn't watch it,

we didn't hear it,

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,092

and we didn't talk about it.

00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,427

So how do we do that?

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:27,057

We bury our heads...in sand.

00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,061

We take 20 to 25 dump trucks,

00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,771

fill them with sand

from Monarch Lake,

00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,190

and then dump the sand

along South Park Avenue.

00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,108

By using approximately

18 dozen shovels,

00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,110

we could each dig a hole

in the sand,

00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,362

stick our heads in the holes,

00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,697

and then have the person

to our left bury them.

00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,658

If we can manage

to get every person's head

00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:45,992

buried deep, deep in sand

00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,078

before the Muhammad episode

airs,

00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,955

we could avoid looking

like we're responsible

00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,456

for any part of this at all.

00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,918

No. No. Wait a minute.

That's ridiculous.

00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,879

Look. What we need to do

is just the opposite.

00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,548

Freedom of speech is at stake

here.

00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,757

Don't you all see?

00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,802

If anything, we should all

make cartoons of Muhammad

00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,346

and show the terrorists

and the extremists

00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,348

that we are all united

in the belief

00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,142

that every person has a right

to say what they want.

00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,312

Look, people, it's...

it's been real easy for us

00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,189

to stand up

for free speech lately.

00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,440

For the past few decades,

00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,360

we haven't had to risk anything

to defend it.

00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,821

But those times

are going to come.

00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031

And one of those times

is right now.

00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:29,536

And if we aren't willing

to risk what we have,

00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:32,831

then we just believe

in free speech,

00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,292

but we don't defend it.

00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,714

I like the sand idea.

00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:41,840

Yeah.

Me too.

00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,009

Yeah. The sand thing

sounds a lot simpler.

00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,636

- Let's do the sand thing.

- Yeah. Let's do the sand thing.

00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,306

We're gonna need eight dozen

shovels and 16 tons of sand!

00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,099

Let's move, people!

00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,314

We've got six days

to make it to Los Angeles.

00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,815

If we keep our stops

to a minimum,

00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,901

we should be able to get

the episode pulled just in time.

00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,278

Yes, and in just a few weeks

from now,

00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,072

"Family Guy" will be

off the air forever!

00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,616

Off the air?

00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,783

But we're just going to try

00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,327

to get the Muhammad episode

pulled.

00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,203

It's simple television

economics, Kyle.

00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,705

All it takes to kill a show

forever

00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,540

is get one episode pulled.

00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,334

If we convince the network

to pull this episode

00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,585

for the sake of Muslims,

00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,004

the Catholics can demand a show

they don't like get pulled.

00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,505

And then people

with disabilities can demand

00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:24,925

another show get pulled,

and so on and so on,

00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,010

until "Family Guy" is no more.

00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,179

It's exactly what happened

to "Laverne & Shirley."

00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,016

Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute!

00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,434

This isn't what I signed up for!

00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:35,852

I like "Family Guy."

00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812

Why do we have to get it

off the air forever?

00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,148

Because they --

they made f-fun of Muslims,

00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,274

and -- and that's wrong.

00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,276

But that doesn't mean

it has to go off the air!

00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,361

You should like that show.

00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,321

Your sense of humor

is just like "Family Guy."

00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,951

Don't you ever, ever

compare me to "Family Guy."

00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,118

You hear me, Kyle?!

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,828

Compare me to "Family Guy"

again,

00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:57,165

and so help me,

I will kill you where you stand.

00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,088

You unbelievable son of a bitch.

00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,965

You never cared about

the Muslim religion

00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,092

or the safety

of people in America.

00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219

You just want "Family Guy"

off the air.

00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,388

Do you have any idea

what it's like?

00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,555

Everywhere I go --

00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,724

"Hey, Cartman, you must like

'Family Guy,' right?"

00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,851

"Your sense of humor reminds me

of 'Family Guy,' Cartman."

00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,771

I am nothing like "Family Guy."

00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,023

When I make jokes,

they are inherent to a story,

00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,858

deep situational

and emotional jokes

00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,986

based on what is relevant

and has a point,

00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,821

not just one random,

interchangeable joke

00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,030

after another!

00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,782

What are you talking about?

00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,992

You don't understand!

00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,537

I can't believe I let you

scare me into taking your side.

00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,498

You used fear to make me

stop believing in free speech.

00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,876

Well, I guess you won't

be helping me now.

00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,336

No biggie.

00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,505

I don't need you

to get the episode pulled.

00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:46,256

No.

00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,550

I am not letting you go

to that television studio

00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,219

and pretend to care

about safety and sensitivity

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,179

to get a show you don't like

off the air!

00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,265

Well, then, Kyle, I guess --

00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,808

Oh, my God.

Is that Tim McGraw?

00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,184

What?

00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,771

Cartman!

00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,453

Kyle, stop it!

00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,898

- Holy crap!

- Aah!

00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,288

Stay on 'em!

00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,463

Jesus, Mary!

00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,728

If you have children, be sure

to bury their heads in the sand

00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,438

before you bury your own.

00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819

Dad, I don't want to bury

my head in the sand.

00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,238

It's the best way, Stanley.

Did you eat your Fruit Roll-up?

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,155

Yeah.

00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,740

Make sure your snorkel

is working.

00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,284

All right.

Now get your head in the hole.

00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,661

Dad, this is stupid.

00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,454

Stanley, there's no time

for your immaturity!

00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,664

Do it!

00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,751

All right, Sharon.

Now do me.

00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,258

Professor, we all

just thought of something.

00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,301

If everyone has

their head buried

00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,137

by the person standing

to their left,

00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:00,557

then who's gonna bury

the last person's head?

00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,810

Yes, I'm afraid one person

is going to have to be last

00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:07,355

and...not have his head

in the sand.

00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,151

I'll do it.

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,443

Dylan, no!

00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,280

You realize by not burying

your head in sand,

00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,241

you'll appear to be a part

of the "Family Guy" audience.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,701

Yes.

I know.

00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,161

Dylan, please!

You can't!

00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,121

Somebody has to do it, Sarah!

00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,707

You run along now and you

get your head in the sand.

00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,917

I'll be all right.

00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,796

You have to understand.

00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,131

I'm all she has.

00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,802

Who are those people?

00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,198

No!

00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,830

Aah!

00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,094

So long, Kyle!

00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,764

You son of a bitch!

I won't let you win!

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,765

You hear me?!

00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,935

Suck my balls, Kyle!

00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,407

Are you the network president?

00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,742

Yes, Mr. President.

00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:46,371

We need to discuss this "Family

Guy" episode, Mr. President.

00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,289

Mr. President,

my hands are tied.

00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,334

The "Family Guy" writers insist

I don't censor Muhammad.

00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,254

But, Mr. President, this is

a matter of national security.

00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,964

They must be reasoned with.

00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,590

Mr. President...

00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,926

there's something about

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,262

I think you should know.

00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,141

Next week on "South Park"...

00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,143

the race continues.

00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,813

Cartman reaches

the "Family Guy" studio

00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,147

and learns the shocking secret

00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,400

behind the "Family Guy"

writing staff...

00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,610

This explains everything.

00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,488

...as an entire nation

buries its head in sand...

00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,240

The idea has swept the nation.

00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,076

But where will we find

enough sand for everyone?

00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,788

...and the battle between

good and evil is finally waged.

00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,248

Kyle, quit it!

00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,457

Stop it, Kyle!

00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:34,460

Will the cartoon be allowed

to appear uncensored?

00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,462

Will "Family Guy" be destroyed?

00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,424

Will television executives

fight for free speech,

00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,467

or will Comedy Central puss out?

00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,970

Tune in to see part two

of "Family Guy,"

00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,722

next week on "South Park."

00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:41,928

Но Принц Жвачка не боялся.

00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:46,198

Он знал, что Шоколадная Страна

теперь в безопасности на до скончания века.

00:00:47,998 --> 00:00:49,698

Спокойной ночи, ангелочек.

00:00:56,118 --> 00:00:57,348

СТЭЭЭН!

00:00:57,388 --> 00:00:58,438

Что? Что такое?

00:00:58,478 --> 00:01:01,058

Вставай! Обувайся! Уходим! БЫСТРО!

00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:02,468

Держи вот!!!

00:01:02,498 --> 00:01:03,868

Нужно взять столько воды, сколько сможем унести!!

00:01:03,908 --> 00:01:05,498

Шелли, принеси ружье!

00:01:05,528 --> 00:01:07,398

А какое из них заряжено, пап?

00:01:07,428 --> 00:01:09,198

Давай неси ружье!!!

00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:11,658

Идемте!

00:01:18,088 --> 00:01:18,908

О, нет!

00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:22,288

Кайл!

А что за хрень случилась на этот раз?!

00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:23,638

Понятия не имею!

00:01:30,038 --> 00:01:33,078

Укрываемся в клубе, как всегда!

00:01:37,248 --> 00:01:40,058

Ладно, давайте все заходите и запирайте двери!

00:01:40,098 --> 00:01:41,838

Боже мой! Стивен, мы забыли Баттерса.

00:01:41,878 --> 00:01:43,288

Мы не можем выйти, Линда!

00:01:43,318 --> 00:01:44,598

Ему уже не поможешь!

00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,108

Пап? Пап, да что здесь, блин, творится?!

00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,408

Мультфильм!

00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:52,648

По Американской телесети вот вот покажут мультфильм...

00:01:52,658 --> 00:01:56,688

...в котором будет мусульманский пророк Мухаммед!

00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:58,958

Ну и…?

00:01:58,998 --> 00:01:59,648

Ну и?!!

00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:02,488

Стэнли, Мухаммед это мусульманский святой.

00:02:02,518 --> 00:02:05,518

С момента опубликования карикатур в Дании,

правила изменились.

00:02:05,548 --> 00:02:08,288

Никто больше не показывает изображение Мухаммеда.

00:02:08,318 --> 00:02:09,728

А что за мультфильм-то?

00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:13,318

Какой же это мультфильм настолько бестактен,

что показывает Мухаммеда?

00:02:13,348 --> 00:02:14,648

А ты как думаешь?

00:02:14,688 --> 00:02:18,418

Это мультфильм, который берёт безответственным

сортирным юмором!

00:02:19,378 --> 00:02:20,298

Гриффины!

00:02:22,738 --> 00:02:24,638

Но как Гриффины могли так поступить?

00:02:24,668 --> 00:02:27,558

А с чего это Гриффинам так ужасно оскорблять мусульман?

00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:30,448

Потому, что Гриффинам плевать, кого они оскорбляют!

00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:33,398

Им важны только их... драгоценные денежки!

00:02:33,438 --> 00:02:34,658

Да ладно, народ.

00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:36,998

Вы и правда думаете, что кто-то настолько разозлится

из-за какого-то мультика?

00:02:37,028 --> 00:02:38,548

Телевизор заработал!

00:02:38,578 --> 00:02:42,518

Еще раз повторю, что в сериале Гриффины

00:02:42,558 --> 00:02:44,148

планируется сегодня к эфиру серия

00:02:44,188 --> 00:02:46,298

в которой есть изображение

мусульманского пророка Мухаммеда!

00:02:46,308 --> 00:02:48,148

О, Рэнди, обними меня.

00:02:48,178 --> 00:02:52,218

Новость уже спровоцировала волну протеста в мусульманском мире.

00:02:52,248 --> 00:02:53,698

По всему Среднему Востоку

00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,818

мусульмане жгут американские флаги и постеры Гриффинов.

00:02:56,858 --> 00:03:00,058

Мусульманский террорист Аль-Завари сделал заявление:

00:03:00,098 --> 00:03:04,078

"Мы таки здорово разозлились из-за Гриффинов. "

00:03:04,108 --> 00:03:08,978

"Гриффины это даже не смешно ни разу. "

00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:14,858

"Объявляем джихад Гриффинам и их народу!"

00:03:15,858 --> 00:03:18,048

Что же теперь будет?

00:03:18,088 --> 00:03:19,608

Переждем здесь ночь...

00:03:19,648 --> 00:03:22,098

...подождем - вдруг они чего предпримут.

00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:24,408

Если к утру останемся живы...

00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,838

...то будем точно знать, что мы не умерли.

00:03:33,228 --> 00:03:35,228

Всё нормально!

00:03:35,938 --> 00:03:38,758

Мы живы?? Мы живы!

00:03:38,798 --> 00:03:40,698

Слушайте! Слушайте все!

00:03:40,738 --> 00:03:42,618

В последнюю минуту

00:03:42,658 --> 00:03:44,648

телекомпания FOX вырезала изображение Мухаммеда.

00:03:44,648 --> 00:03:45,808

Слава Богу.

00:03:46,348 --> 00:03:48,848

Похоже, вроде, пронесло.

00:03:48,878 --> 00:03:51,358

Вырезала изображение Мухаммеда? Как?

00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,718

Я записываю каждую серию.

00:03:52,758 --> 00:03:54,368

Можем пойти ко мне и посмотреть, что они там сделали.

00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,148

Ладно, пацаны, посмотрим.

00:04:00,188 --> 00:04:02,468

Ты записываешь каждую серию Гриффинов?

00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,458

А что - хороший сериал.

00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:04,758

Да, многим нравятся Гриффины.

00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:05,688

Ага…

00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:06,928

Питер!

00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:08,858

Поверить не могу, что ты к нам на ужин...

00:04:08,858 --> 00:04:11,458

...пригласил свою бывшую школьную любовь.

00:04:11,488 --> 00:04:13,438

По твоему, ЭТО плохо?

00:04:13,478 --> 00:04:14,928

А помнишь, как я проходил пробы

00:04:14,958 --> 00:04:16,798

на роль машины Дэвида Хассельхоффа?

00:04:16,828 --> 00:04:18,488

Привет, Рыцарь Дороги.

00:04:18,518 --> 00:04:20,438

Давай за теми злодеями, моя робо-машина!

00:04:22,978 --> 00:04:26,968

Да, но, пап, зачем тебе приглашать на ужин

бывшую подругу?

00:04:27,008 --> 00:04:29,348

Возможно, он хотел заставить нашу мамочку понервничать.

00:04:29,388 --> 00:04:30,728

Понервничать?

00:04:30,768 --> 00:04:31,738

Как тогда, когда мне нужно было

00:04:31,778 --> 00:04:34,428

продать продать оладьи капитану школьной команды по футболу?

00:04:36,098 --> 00:04:37,768

Оладушков, Капитан?

00:04:37,798 --> 00:04:39,998

Я буду капитаном, а ты будешь Тенилль.

00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:44,608

Любовь не даст нам разлучиться…

00:04:47,028 --> 00:04:51,088

Но Питер, я не хочу готовить ужин

для твоей бывшей подруги.

00:04:51,128 --> 00:04:53,458

Может, мы просто попьем чаю.

00:04:53,488 --> 00:04:57,818

Это как тогда, когда ты пил чай с Мухаммедом,

мусульманским пророком?

00:04:57,858 --> 00:05:00,328

Мухаммед, давай попьем чайку.

00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:05,658

Эй ТЫ, попробуй чай "Мистер ТИ"

00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:07,478

Боже ж мой, разве это странно...

00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,108

Все равно поверить не могу...

00:05:09,138 --> 00:05:11,588

...что пригласил бывшую любовь на ужин. Ха.

00:05:11,588 --> 00:05:14,448

И всё? И это всё?

00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,168

Блин. Это не здорово!

00:05:16,198 --> 00:05:18,128

Я серьёзно - это не здорово.

00:05:18,168 --> 00:05:19,258

А что? Что здесь такого?

00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,378

Что здесь такого?

00:05:20,408 --> 00:05:21,458

Пацаны, они же насмеялись над верой

00:05:21,498 --> 00:05:23,138

целой общности людей.

00:05:23,168 --> 00:05:26,298

Пацаны, вы что, думаете, что это нормально?!

00:05:26,338 --> 00:05:28,038

А как же чувства всех этих людей?

00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:28,898

С каких это пор...

00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:30,888

...тебя стали заботить религиозные чувства людей, Картман?

00:05:30,888 --> 00:05:32,578

Да, ты постоянно издеваешься над религией!

00:05:32,618 --> 00:05:33,808

Здесь не тот случай!

00:05:33,838 --> 00:05:34,848

Я всего лишь маленький мальчик!

00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:37,398

А это - мультфильм!

Его смотрят миллионы!

00:05:37,428 --> 00:05:38,468

Как бы тебе это понравилось, Кайл...

00:05:38,508 --> 00:05:42,678

...если бы по телевизору показывали мультфильм,

который всё время высмеивает иудеев?! А?!

00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:45,698

Пацаны, говорю вам - это неправильно!

00:05:45,728 --> 00:05:47,708

Это НЕПРАВИЛЬНО!!

00:05:49,528 --> 00:05:51,818

Неправильно!

00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:57,138

Кайл? Кайл, что это вы смотрите?!

00:05:57,178 --> 00:06:00,828

Слушай, Брайан, это как в тот раз,

когда я работал морковным пирогом.

00:06:00,868 --> 00:06:01,588

Аааа!

00:06:01,618 --> 00:06:03,978

Это Гриффины! Джеральд, скорее, сделай что-нибудь!

00:06:07,858 --> 00:06:10,308

Пап, пап….Боже ж мой!

00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,038

Всё хорошо. С ним покончено.

00:06:14,068 --> 00:06:17,008

Мальчики, вам нельзя было смотреть

этот безответственный сериал!

00:06:17,038 --> 00:06:18,238

Мам, да там не было ничего.

00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,458

Мухаммед там просто стоял, а потом чай пил.

00:06:20,498 --> 00:06:22,498

Мальчики, вы ничего не понимаете!

00:06:22,538 --> 00:06:25,178

Вам определенно нужно пройти курсы

00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,848

чуткого отношения к мусульманам!

00:06:26,888 --> 00:06:30,248

Добро пожаловать на курсы чуткого отношения к мусульманам.

00:06:30,248 --> 00:06:32,928

Для нас очень важно понять...

00:06:32,968 --> 00:06:35,298

...почему мусульмане чувствуют то, что чувствуют

00:06:35,338 --> 00:06:38,268

и почему ни в коем случае нельзя показывать

изображение Мухаммеда.

00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,618

Нет. Это мусульманам нельзя показывать

изображение Мухаммеда.

00:06:40,658 --> 00:06:42,598

Кайл, ты ведешь себя не особо чутко.

00:06:42,628 --> 00:06:46,218

Да, Кайл. Может, ты и думаешь,

что это смешно, но остальные - нет.

00:06:46,258 --> 00:06:48,748

Давайте разберем, почему расстроились мусульмане.

00:06:48,778 --> 00:06:53,278

Прежде всего, по мусульманской вере вам запрещено что…?

00:06:54,108 --> 00:06:55,188

Секс.

00:06:55,228 --> 00:06:55,728

Хорошо.

00:06:55,888 --> 00:06:58,948

В мусульманском мире нельзя заниматься сексом

до вступления в брак.

00:06:58,988 --> 00:07:00,248

Это могло бы быть забавно...

00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:03,038

...если бы не то, что религия запрещает вам…

00:07:03,078 --> 00:07:04,658

Ну же, кто-нибудь?

00:07:04,688 --> 00:07:06,978

Дрочить.

00:07:07,008 --> 00:07:10,578

Значит, согласно мусульманской вере

дрочить строго возброняется.

00:07:10,618 --> 00:07:13,508

И что мы знаем о том, где живут мусульмане?

00:07:13,538 --> 00:07:15,048

Они живут..?

00:07:15,078 --> 00:07:18,108

Отлично, в песках.

00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,688

А теперь поставьте себя на место мусульман.

00:07:20,728 --> 00:07:22,268

Пятница. Вечер.

00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:23,418

Но сексом заниматься нельзя.

00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:24,998

Подрочить тоже.

00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,728

Песок набился вам в глаза, а может и в жопу.

00:07:27,758 --> 00:07:29,258

А потом выходит мультик.

00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:32,438

В стране, где люди трахаются и высмеивают вашего пророка.

00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:35,588

И знаете что? Я бы тоже жутко разозлился!

00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:36,558

Мистер Гаррисон!

00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:37,878

Вы говорите как вульгарный расист!

00:07:37,908 --> 00:07:39,848

Мусульмане возмущены из-за Гриффинов...

00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:41,218

а не из-за того, что им нельзя подрочить!

00:07:41,258 --> 00:07:42,338

Правильно, Венди?

00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,298

…Да.

00:07:43,328 --> 00:07:45,318

Внимание.

00:07:45,348 --> 00:07:49,368

Всем ученикам проследовать в школьный спортзал,

чтобы прослушать срочное сообщение!

00:07:49,408 --> 00:07:51,358

Ну а сейчас-то что?!

00:07:52,828 --> 00:07:55,798

Шшшш! Тихо, дети, тихо!

00:07:55,828 --> 00:07:57,968

Нам только что стало известно...

00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:03,038

...что серия Гриффинов с пророком Мухаммедом

была первой частью из двух!

00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:07,668

А часть 2 выходит на следующей неделе,

с Мухаммедом, без купюр!

00:08:07,698 --> 00:08:08,668

Чего?!

00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:09,738

Зачем же они..?

00:08:09,778 --> 00:08:11,128

Компания FOX заявляет...

00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,358

...что авторская команда Гриффинов потребовала...

00:08:13,388 --> 00:08:15,928

...чтобы персонаж Мухаммед был показан полностью.

00:08:15,968 --> 00:08:17,728

Глава FOX сказал следующее.

00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,918

Гриффины - наш самый крупный проект.

00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,608

Если они настаивают,

чтобы мы не подвергали их работу цензуре...

00:08:22,638 --> 00:08:23,908

то мы..мы и не сможем.

00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:27,778

Гриффины!!! Гореть вам в аду!!!

00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,738

Повторю, что на Среднем Востоке

начались ожесточенные беспорядки...

00:08:30,768 --> 00:08:32,598

...на этот раз даже более массовые.

00:08:32,628 --> 00:08:36,008

И лидер террористов Аль-Завари сделал предупреждение.

00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:38,518

"Я серьёзно."

00:08:38,548 --> 00:08:41,848

"У Гриффинов и сценарий-то никудышний."

00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:45,598

"Шутки взаимозаменяемые и часто не по теме."

00:08:45,638 --> 00:08:52,788

Когда серия выйдет в эфир, наше возмездие будет ВСЕОБЩИМ!!!

00:08:53,828 --> 00:08:57,928

Возмездие…Боже мой. М-кей?

00:09:00,768 --> 00:09:02,928

Проклятые Гриффины!

00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:04,268

Теперь провоцируют людей!

00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:06,098

Похоже, они нарываются на священную войну!

00:09:06,098 --> 00:09:07,738

Значит, в школу всю неделю можно не ходить?

00:09:07,768 --> 00:09:11,038

Пацаны, это серьезно! Нужно что-то делать!

00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,008

(Например?)

00:09:12,048 --> 00:09:13,838

Нужно поехать в Лос-Анджелес, в компанию FOX.

00:09:13,868 --> 00:09:17,018

Поехать и… попытаться снять эпизод с эфира.

00:09:17,048 --> 00:09:18,248

Вы со мной, пацаны?

00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:21,738

Мы никуда не сможем поехать.

Аэропорты и автостанции закрыли.

00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,298

Значит, поедем на велосипедах.

00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:24,478

В Лос-Анджелес?

00:09:24,508 --> 00:09:25,908

Да, если это потребуется.

00:09:25,908 --> 00:09:27,608

Нужно поговорить с телекомпанией!

00:09:27,638 --> 00:09:29,548

Авторы Гриффинов не отступаются!

00:09:29,548 --> 00:09:31,438

Ну и молодцы. Не нужно этого делать!

00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:34,038

Они стоят на своём и говорят, что их не запугать!

00:09:34,068 --> 00:09:36,848

Запугать?! Думаешь, всё дело в этом, Кайл?

00:09:36,888 --> 00:09:38,768

Что за муха тебя укусила?

00:09:38,808 --> 00:09:42,648

Ни на секунду не поверю,

что твоя внезапная забота о мусульманах - искренняя!

00:09:42,678 --> 00:09:43,698

Ну ладно, Кайл.

00:09:43,728 --> 00:09:45,178

Забудь на минуту о мусульманской вере.

00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,808

Могут пострадать люди.

00:09:46,848 --> 00:09:48,528

Когда погибнет десять человек, всего лишь из-за того...

00:09:48,558 --> 00:09:50,058

...что Гриффины должны оставить свою шуточку

00:09:50,058 --> 00:09:51,708

будешь ли ты считать это забавным?

00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:57,998

А если погибнет сто?

Будет ли это забавно, Кайл?

00:09:58,038 --> 00:09:59,108

Я отправляюсь в Лос Анджелес.

00:09:59,148 --> 00:10:01,668

Сделаю всё, что смогу, чтобы снять эпизод с эфира,

00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:02,998

прежде чем всё выйдет из-под контроля.

00:10:03,038 --> 00:10:05,038

Кто-то должен говорить от имени мусульман.

00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,958

Кто-то должен говорить от имени правды.

00:10:19,098 --> 00:10:22,408

Кайл!

Кайл, проснись!

00:10:22,448 --> 00:10:25,368

Нужно уходить! Террористы атакуют!

00:10:25,813 --> 00:10:27,523

Пап, а ты уверен, что в этот раз так оно и есть?

00:10:27,553 --> 00:10:31,433

Это не шутки, Кайл!

Бомбы уже отпрвавлены в шесть городов!

00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:31,913

Нет!

00:10:31,943 --> 00:10:33,733

Минуточку! А где Айк?

00:10:33,773 --> 00:10:35,403

Только что был здесь! Айк!

00:10:35,443 --> 00:10:36,343

Айк!

00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:42,193

Айк! Аааайк!

00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:45,673

Молозеное. Хацю соколада.

00:10:45,703 --> 00:10:47,013

Айк! Сюда!

00:10:50,663 --> 00:10:51,933

Ааааайк!

00:10:51,973 --> 00:10:54,683

Каааайл!

00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:56,453

Неееет!

00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:21,323

Пришел, чтобы меня остановить? Не получится.

00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,323

Я пришел не для этого.

00:11:24,353 --> 00:11:26,713

Думаю…ты прав, Картман.

00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,793

Я хочу тебе помочь снять эпизод Гриффинов с эфира.

00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:34,213

Что ж. Мне для этого напарники не нужны.

00:11:34,243 --> 00:11:36,063

Особенно те, которые мне не доверяют.

00:11:37,203 --> 00:11:38,713

Послушай, Картман.

00:11:38,753 --> 00:11:42,323

Не знаю, что на тебя нашло, но…думаю, это удивительно.

00:11:42,363 --> 00:11:43,583

И еще я думаю, что это взаправду.

00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:46,223

Ты должен понять, почему я тебе раньше не верил.

00:11:48,463 --> 00:11:50,903

Да. Я действительно понимаю, Кайл.

00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,503

Долгое время я поступал неправильно.

00:11:53,533 --> 00:11:55,773

Поступал, руководствуясь своими

эгоистическими побуждениями.

00:11:55,813 --> 00:11:57,703

Знаешь, мне хочется сделать что-то хорошее.

00:11:57,743 --> 00:11:59,933

Хоть в этот раз.

00:11:59,933 --> 00:12:02,983

Это долгий путь. Тебе понадобится помощь.

00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,283

Мы можем вместе попробовать

снять этот эпизод с эфира.

00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:08,053

Знаешь, мы даже до студии можем не добраться.

00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:09,363

Знаю.

00:12:09,403 --> 00:12:12,573

Но, как и ты, я чувствую, что должен попытаться.

00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:17,443

Люди могут действительно пострадать,

и шутка того не стоит.

00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:19,383

И что заставило тебя передумать?

00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:23,183

Получил разумный совет…от старого друга.

00:12:26,153 --> 00:12:28,623

Что ж, Кайл, пора бы нам ехать.

00:12:28,653 --> 00:12:29,473

Да!

00:12:34,483 --> 00:12:36,323

Ты в седле?

00:12:36,353 --> 00:12:37,753

В седле! Поехали!

00:12:37,783 --> 00:12:38,793

Ну…погнали!

00:12:44,843 --> 00:12:49,083

Люди, люди! Прошу, потише!

Нельзя поддаваться панике!

00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:50,513

А что же нам еще делать, мэр?

00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:53,653

Вторая часть серии Гриффинов выходит через 6 дней!

00:12:53,693 --> 00:12:58,593

Полагаю, профессор Томас из

Университета нашел какой-то выход.

00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:00,423

Спасибо, мэр.

00:13:00,453 --> 00:13:02,043

Послушайте все.

00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:04,513

Мусульманские террористы и экстремисты

угрожают нам за то,

00:13:04,543 --> 00:13:06,473

что собираются сделать Гриффины…

00:13:06,503 --> 00:13:08,843

…потому, что они по ошибке считают, что мы с ними заодно.

00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:10,833

Наша единственная надежда - сделать так

00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,613

чтобы мусульманские экстремисты знали

00:13:12,653 --> 00:13:14,533

что мы не принимали участия в эпизоде про Мухаммеда.

00:13:14,563 --> 00:13:16,243

И хотя эпизод выпустили в эфир...

00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:21,143

...мы не видели его, не слышали его

и не обсуждали его.

00:13:21,183 --> 00:13:22,683

И как нам это сделать?

00:13:22,723 --> 00:13:24,873

Закопаем головы.

00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:26,913

В песок.

00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,183

Возьмем двадцать-двадцать пять самосвалов,

00:13:31,213 --> 00:13:33,133

загрузим их песком из Монаршего озера...

00:13:33,173 --> 00:13:35,083

...и вывалим песок вдоль Саут Парк Авеню.

00:13:35,113 --> 00:13:37,633

Используя приблизительно восемнадцать дюжин лопат...

00:13:37,673 --> 00:13:39,533

...мы все сможем выкопать себе ямы.

00:13:39,563 --> 00:13:42,783

засунем головы в ямы и затем

специально оставленный человек их закопает.

00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:46,433

Если удастся закопать голову каждого

глубоко-глубоко в песок...

00:13:46,473 --> 00:13:47,953

до эфира эпизода про Мухаммеда,

00:13:47,983 --> 00:13:49,593

то мы могли бы избежать того,

00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:51,733

чтобы выглядеть ответственным

за какую-либо долю происходящего.

00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:54,343

Нет, нет. Минуточку.

00:13:54,373 --> 00:13:55,353

Это смешно.

00:13:55,393 --> 00:13:58,033

Всё нужно делать как раз наоборот.

00:13:58,073 --> 00:14:00,983

На карту поставлена свобода слова, как вы не поймете.

00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:04,093

Пожалуй, нам ВСЕМ нужно нарисовать

карикатуры на Мухаммеда,

00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:08,573

и показать террористам и экстремистам,

что мы едины в своей вере в то,

00:14:08,613 --> 00:14:11,343

что каждый человек имеет право говорить, что он хочет!

00:14:11,373 --> 00:14:16,373

Послушайте…это ведь было так просто -

встать на защиту свободы слова.

00:14:16,413 --> 00:14:20,383

Последние пару десятилетий нам нечем

было рисковать таким, чтобы это стоило защищать.

00:14:20,423 --> 00:14:22,833

Но такие времена рано или поздно наступают!

00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:25,113

И такое время настало сейчас.

00:14:25,153 --> 00:14:29,243

И если мы…не желаем рисковать…

тем, что у нас есть,

00:14:29,253 --> 00:14:34,743

то значит, что мы только верим в свободу слова,

но не защищаем ее.

00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,203

А мне идея с песком понравилась.

00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:41,943

Да, и мне тоже.

00:14:41,973 --> 00:14:44,333

Да, с песком, вроде, намного проще.

00:14:46,863 --> 00:14:49,653

Нам понадобится восемь дюжин лопат и шестнадцать тон песка!

00:14:49,683 --> 00:14:50,893

За работу!

00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:57,493

У нас шесть дней, чтобы добраться до Лос-Анджелеса.

00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,033

Если свести остановки к минимуму...

00:14:59,073 --> 00:15:01,233

то мы как раз успеем снять эпизод с эфира.

00:15:01,273 --> 00:15:05,973

Да, и через пару недель

Гриффины будут сняты с эфира навсегда.

00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:07,633

Сняты?

00:15:07,663 --> 00:15:10,633

Но мы ведь едем, только чтобы снять с эфира эпизод с Мухаммедом.

00:15:10,663 --> 00:15:12,503

Это простая телевизионная экономика, Кайл.

00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:15,673

Всё, что нужно, чтобы загубить шоу навсегда

- это снять с эфира один эпизод.

00:15:15,713 --> 00:15:18,663

Если мы убедим телекомпанию убрать эпизод ради мусульман

00:15:18,693 --> 00:15:21,183

то потом католики могут требовать убрать эпизод,

который не нравится им.

00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:23,933

А затем инвалиды могут требовать убрать еще одну серию.

00:15:23,963 --> 00:15:27,443

И так далее, пока от Гриффинов ничего не останется.

00:15:27,473 --> 00:15:29,403

Так, кстати и случилось с Лаверн и Ширли.

00:15:29,403 --> 00:15:31,363

Постой, постой, минуточку!

00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,863

Я на это не подписывался!

00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,993

Мне нравятся Гриффины.

Зачем нам убирать их навсегда?

00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:41,633

Потому, что они насмехались над мусульманами,

а это неправильно.

00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:43,513

Но это не значит, что сериал нужно снимать с эфира.

00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,563

Тебе он должен понравится.

00:15:44,603 --> 00:15:46,483

У тебя чувство юмора точно как у Гриффинов.

00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:49,143

Никогда.

00:15:49,183 --> 00:15:51,303

НИКОГДА не сравнивай меня с Гриффинами!

00:15:51,343 --> 00:15:52,383

Слышал, Кайл?!!

00:15:52,413 --> 00:15:55,083

Сравни меня еще раз с Гриффинами и развяжи мне руки.

00:15:55,093 --> 00:15:56,713

Я убью тебя на месте!

00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:02,743

Ну и редкостный же ты ублюдок.

00:16:02,773 --> 00:16:05,053

Да тебе наплевать было на мусульман.

00:16:05,093 --> 00:16:07,263

Как и на безопасность Америки.

00:16:07,303 --> 00:16:09,673

Тебе просто нужно было убрать Гриффинов!

00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:11,333

А ты представляешь, каково это?

00:16:11,363 --> 00:16:14,903

Куда бы ни пошел -

"Картман, тебе, должно быть, нравятся Гриффины, да?"

00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,873

"Эй, Картман, у тебя чувство юмора, прямо как у Гриффинов".

00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:19,793

Я НИ КАПЛИ НЕ ПОХОЖ на Гриффинов!

00:16:19,823 --> 00:16:22,323

Когда я шучу, то шутки вписываются в сценарий!

00:16:22,353 --> 00:16:24,233

Глубокие, ситуационные и эмоциональные шутки...

00:16:24,273 --> 00:16:26,313

...основанные на чём-то существенном и имеющем СМЫСЛ!

00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,073

А не одна взаимозаменяемая шутка за другой!!!

00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,933

Да ты что несёшь вообще??

00:16:30,963 --> 00:16:32,173

ТЫ НИ ХРЕНА НЕ ПОНИМАЕШЬ!!

00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:35,863

Поверить не могу, что дал запугать себя настолько,

что принял твою сторону.

00:16:35,903 --> 00:16:38,743

Ты использовал страх, чтобы заставить меня

перестать верить в свободу слова.

00:16:38,783 --> 00:16:41,553

Что ж…Полагаю, теперь ты мне не станешь помогать.

00:16:41,593 --> 00:16:45,803

Ничего. Ты мне НЕ НУЖЕН, чтобы снять эпизод с эфира!

00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:48,813

Нет! Я не позволю тебе добраться до студии...

00:16:48,853 --> 00:16:51,713

...и притворяться, что ты печёшься о безопасности и чуткости...

00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:53,533

...чтобы убрать сериал, который тебе не нравится!

00:16:53,573 --> 00:16:55,523

Ладно. Тогда, Кайл, думаю…

00:16:55,563 --> 00:16:57,103

Боже мой, это что, Тим МакГро?

00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:57,703

Что?

00:16:59,493 --> 00:17:00,923

Картман!

00:17:15,293 --> 00:17:17,183

Кайл, прекрати!

00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,193

Ёлы-палы!

00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:45,693

Ааааа!

00:17:59,223 --> 00:18:00,993

Держись за ними!

00:18:07,143 --> 00:18:08,953

Иисус-Мария!

00:18:19,787 --> 00:18:26,157

Если у вас есть дети, убедитесь,

что закопали их головы до того, как закопали свои.

00:18:29,088 --> 00:18:31,008

Пап, я не хочу закапывать голову в песок.

00:18:31,048 --> 00:18:31,988

Это лучшее, что можно сделать, Стэнли.

00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,298

Ты доел фруктовый десерт?

00:18:33,328 --> 00:18:34,028

Да.

00:18:34,058 --> 00:18:35,718

Отлично. Проверь, как работает трубка.

00:18:36,338 --> 00:18:38,258

Хорошо, а теперь суй голову в яму.

00:18:38,298 --> 00:18:39,628

Пап, это глупо.

00:18:39,668 --> 00:18:41,268

Стэнли, не время проявлять свою незрелость!

00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:42,048

Суй давай!

00:18:44,528 --> 00:18:46,208

Ладно, Шерон, теперь ты меня.

00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:53,158

Ээ, профессор, мы вот чего подумали.

00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:56,808

Если каждого будет зарывать тот, кто стоит слева...

00:18:56,838 --> 00:18:59,858

...то кто зароет голову последнего?

00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:03,768

Да. Боюсь, одному человеку придется быть последним

00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:06,968

и…не зарывать свою голову в песок.

00:19:10,088 --> 00:19:11,188

Давайте я.

00:19:11,228 --> 00:19:12,348

Дилан, нет!

00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:18,188

Вы понимаете, что не зарыв голову в песок,

вы становитесь частью аудитории Гриффинов.

00:19:18,228 --> 00:19:19,648

Да, знаю.

00:19:19,678 --> 00:19:21,298

Дилан, прошу тебя, не надо!

00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:23,048

Кто-то должен это сделать, Сара.

00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:25,418

А ты ступай, и зарой голову в песок.

00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,858

Со мной всё будет в порядке.

00:19:29,218 --> 00:19:33,218

Вы должны понять…Я - это всё, что у нее есть.

00:19:35,248 --> 00:19:37,108

А кто это вообще такие?

00:19:56,858 --> 00:19:58,158

Нет!

00:20:16,738 --> 00:20:19,428

Ха-ха-ха! Покеда, Кайл!

00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:23,608

Ах ты сукин сын! Я не дам тебе победить! Слышишь?!

00:20:23,638 --> 00:20:26,508

Обсоси мои яйца, Кайл!

00:20:39,458 --> 00:20:41,548

Вы президент телеканала?

00:20:41,578 --> 00:20:42,678

Да, господин президент.

00:20:42,718 --> 00:20:46,248

Мы должны обсудить эпизод Гриффинов, господин президент.

00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:48,138

Господин президент, у меня связаны руки.

00:20:48,178 --> 00:20:51,308

Авторы Гриффинов настаивают, чтобы я оставил Мухаммеда.

00:20:51,338 --> 00:20:52,358

Но, господин президент.

00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:55,978

Это вопрос национальной безопасности. Нужно мотивировать этим.

00:20:56,018 --> 00:21:01,448

Господин президент, полагаю, вы должны

кое-что узнать об авторах Гриффинов.

00:21:04,218 --> 00:21:06,548

На следующей неделе в Саут Парке.

00:21:06,548 --> 00:21:08,568

Гонка продолжается.

00:21:08,608 --> 00:21:15,388

Картман добирается до студии Гриффинов

и узнает страшную тайну создателей Гриффинов.

00:21:15,428 --> 00:21:17,448

Но это…это же всё объясняет.

00:21:17,488 --> 00:21:20,208

И так как вся страна закопала головы в песок…

00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:25,028

Идея охватила страну!

Но где взять столько песка, чтобы хватило всем?

00:21:25,068 --> 00:21:28,668

…и битва Добра и Зла наконец-то состоялась…

00:21:28,698 --> 00:21:31,428

Кайл, хватит! Хорош, Кайл!

00:21:31,468 --> 00:21:34,478

Выйдет ли мультфильм без купюр?

00:21:34,478 --> 00:21:36,398

Ликвидируют ли Гриффинов?

00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:39,298

Будут ли продюсеры бороться за свободу слова?

00:21:39,328 --> 00:21:41,428

А может, Comedy Central слабаки?

00:21:41,458 --> 00:21:42,548

Включите наш канал...

00:21:42,578 --> 00:21:45,738

чтобы увидеть вторую часть Гриффинов

на следующей неделе в Саут Парке.

00:21:47,038 --> 00:21:54,208

перевод, субтитры mulder

mulder@hotbox.ru

специально для http://southpark.org.ru/

00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,109

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,112

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,992

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,620

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,917

"But the Bubble Gum Prince

wasn't afraid."

00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,170

"He knew that

the Land of Chocolate was safe

00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,589

forever and ever."

00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,717

Good night, my little angel.

00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:58,309

- Stan!

- What?! What?!

00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,602

Get up!

Get your shoes on!

00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,978

We've got to get out of here!

Move!

00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,521

Take this!

00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,148

We've got to bring

all the water we can!

00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,733

Shelly, go get my gun!

00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,193

What's going on, Dad?

00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,528

Just get the gun!

00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,490

All right.

Come on!

00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:15,242

[All screaming ]

00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,120

[ Groaning ]

00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,747

WOMAN:

Look out!

00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,166

Kyle, what the hell

is going on this time?

00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,626

I have no idea!

00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,795

[ Engine revs ]

00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,338

[ Screams ]

00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,091

Oh! Oh!

00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:33,427

MAN: Take cover in

the community center again!

00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,892

All right! Everyone get in

and get a seal on that door!

00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,727

Oh, my God, Stephen!

We've left Butters!

00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,229

We can't go back out there,

Linda!

00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:44,438

It's too late for him!

00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:47,108

Dad?

Dad, what the hell is going on?!

00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:49,568

[ Sighs ]

A cartoon.

00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:53,531

A cartoon is about to air

on American television with...

00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:56,867

with the Muslim prophet

Muhammad as a character.

00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:58,994

So?

00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,540

So?! Stanley, Muhammad is sacred

to the Muslim people.

00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:05,543

Ever since those cartoons in

Denmark, the rules have changed.

00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,462

Nobody shows an image

of Muhammad anymore.

00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:09,755

Which cartoon is it?

00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,382

What cartoon would be

so insensitive

00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,551

as to have Muhammad

as a character?

00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:14,844

Who do you think?

00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,387

The cartoon that's

always pushing buttons

00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,973

with their careless

toilet humor.

00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,474

"Family Guy"!

00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:21,767

ALL:

Aww!

00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,562

How could "Family Guy" do that?

00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:27,606

Why would "Family Guy"

so blatantly insult Muslims?

00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,568

Because "Family Guy"

doesn't care who they insult!

00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,571

They only care about

their precious money!

00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:34,488

Oh, come on, people.

00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,949

You think anybody's gonna be

that pissed off about a cartoon?

00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,493

- We've got the TV working!

- [ Static ]

00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:43,289

Once again, a cartoon depicting

the Muslim prophet Muhammad

00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:46,375

is set to air tonight

on "Family Guy."

00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,085

Oh, Randy, hold me.

00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,838

The news has already sparked

a shock wave of protests

00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,548

throughout the Muslim world.

00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,841

All over the Middle East,

00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,342

Muslims are burning

American flags

00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,094

and "Family Guy" posters.

00:02:57,219 --> 00:03:00,431

Muslim terrorists al-Zawahiri

made this statement.

00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,240

So what happens now?

00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,909

We stay here through the night.

00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,620

Wait it out

to see if they do anything.

00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,914

If we're still alive

in the morning...

00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:27,291

then we'll know we're not dead.

00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,377

[ Birds chirping ]

00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,591

It's okay!

00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,009

We're alive?

00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,844

We're alive!

00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,804

Everyone!

Everyone listen!

00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:44,516

Fox network censored the image

of Muhammad at the last minute!

00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,310

- Oh, thank God.

- Oh, good.

00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,854

Well, it looks like

we dodged a bullet.

00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,315

They censored the image

of Muhammad? How?

00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,483

I TiVo every episode.

00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,027

We can go to my house

and see what they did.

00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,157

- Okay, you guys. Check it out.

- [ Popping ]

00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,201

You TiVo every episode

of "Family Guy"?

00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,285

Dude, it's a good show.

00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,828

Yeah. Lots of people

like "Family Guy."

00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:05,996

Ugh.

00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,165

Peter, I can't believe

you invited

00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,794

your old high school sweetheart

over for dinner!

00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,462

You think that's bad?

00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,799

Remember when I auditioned

to be David Hasselhoff's car?

00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,634

Hey, there, Knight Rider!

00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,594

After those bad guys, KITT.

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,138

[ Humming ]

00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,224

Yeah, but, Dad,

why would you invite

00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,892

an ex-girlfriend to dinner?

00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,520

Perhaps he wants to make

our mother nervous.

00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,729

Nervous?!

00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:34,566

Like when I had to sell pancakes

to the school soccer captain?

00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:35,776

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,695

Pancakes for you, Captain.

00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,406

I'll be the Captain,

and you be Tennille!

00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,241

[ Down-tempo introduction

plays ]

00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,618

♪ Love will keep us together ♪

00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,954

- [ Laughs ]

- Ugh.

00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,540

But, Peter, I don't want

to cook dinner

00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,250

for your ex-girlfriend.

00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,627

Well, maybe we can

just have tea.

00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,963

You mean like the time

you had tea with Muhammad,

00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,840

the prophet

of the Muslim faith?

00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,301

Come on, Muhammad.

Let's get some tea.

00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:01,802

[ Birds chirping ]

00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:05,556

Try my Mr. T Tea.

00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,474

Boy, was that ever weird.

00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,601

Anyway, I can't believe

I invited

00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,603

my old sweetheart to dinner,

huh?

00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,523

That's it?

That's all they did?

00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,275

Oh, man.

That's not cool.

00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,943

Seriously, that is not cool.

00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,194

What?

What's the big deal?

00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,237

What's the big deal?

00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,822

You guys, they just made fun

of the religion

00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,407

of an entire group of people.

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,368

You guys think that's okay?

00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,162

Do you care at all

about people's feelings?

00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,204

Since when do you care about

00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,956

being sensitive to people's

religion, Cartman?

00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,791

Yeah, you rip on people's

religion all the time!

00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,044

That's different!

I'm just a little boy.

00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,379

That's a cartoon.

Millions of people watch it.

00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,422

How would you feel, Kyle,

00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:39,798

if there was a cartoon

on television

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,301

that made fun of Jews

all the time, huh?

00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,844

Uh...

00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,513

I'm telling you guys,

it's wrong.

00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,432

It's wrong!

00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,394

It's wro-o-o-o-ng!

00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,982

Kyle? Kyle!

What are you watching?!

00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,901

Hey, Brian,

this is like the time

00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,694

I got a job as a carrot cake.

00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,488

Aah!

It's "Family Guy"!

00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,114

Quick, Gerald!

Do something!

00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,449

Hyah!

00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,035

- Gaah! Aah!

- [ Electricity crackling ]

00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,329

Dad! Dad!

Jesus Christ!

00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,706

[ Breathing heavily ]

It's okay.

00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:13,707

It's dead.

00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,793

You boys know you're

not supposed to watch

00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,044

that careless show!

00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,337

Mom, it was nothing.

00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,422

Muhammad just stood there

and then drank some tea.

00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,591

You boys don't understand

anything!

00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,804

It's obvious that you all need

Muslim sensitivity training!

00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:30,182

Welcome to Muslim

sensitivity training.

00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,810

It is important

for us to understand

00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,187

why the Muslims feel

the way they do

00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,315

and why we can never show

an image of Muhammad.

00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,776

No, Muslims can't show

an image of Muhammad.

00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,611

Kyle, you're not being

very sensitive.

00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,404

Yeah, Kyle.

00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,240

Maybe you think this is funny,

but the rest of us don't.

00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,826

Let's all look at

why Muslims are upset.

00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,161

First of all,

in the Muslim religion,

00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,997

you're not allowed to have what?

00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,041

Sex!

Good.

00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,169

There's no sex until marriage

in the Muslim world.

00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,839

Now, this would be fine, except

that in the Muslim religion

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,549

you also can't...

00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,426

Anybody?

00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,386

Jack off.

Okay?

00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,597

Jacking it is strictly forbidden

in the Muslim religion.

00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,559

And what do we know

about the places Muslims live?

00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,602

They live in...

00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,230

Good.

Sand.

00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,566

Now, put yourself

in the shoes of a Muslim.

00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,025

It's Friday night,

00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:25,028

but you can't have sex,

and you can't jack off.

00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,280

There's sand in your eyes

00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,739

and probably in the crack

of your ass,

00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,199

and then some cartoon

comes along,

00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,285

from a country where people

a re getting laid,

00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,744

and mocks your prophet.

00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,581

Well, you know what?

I'd be pretty pissed off, too!

00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,875

Mrs. Garrison,

that is ignorant and racist!

00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543

Muslims are mad

because of "Family Guy,"

00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,961

not because they can't jack off.

00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,087

Right, Wendy?

00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,380

Yeah.

00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,508

MR. MACKEY: Attention, students,

proceed to the school gymnasium

00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,428

immediately for

an emergency announcement!

00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,805

What the hell is going on now?

00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,515

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,934

Shh!

Quiet, students! Quiet!

00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,728

Once again,

we have just learned

00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,355

that the "Family Guy" episode

featuring Muhammad

00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,066

was only part one

of a two-parter!

00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,569

And part two is going to air

next week

00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,738

with Muhammad uncensored.

00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,823

- What?

- Why would they...

00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,493

Fox Studios claims that

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,829

has demanded the Muhammad

character be seen in full view.

00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,706

The head of Fox had this to say.

00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,875

"Family Guy"

is our biggest show.

00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,712

If they insist we don't censor

their work, then we -- we can't!

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,923

"Family Guy"!

00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,841

I damn you to hell!

00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,719

MAN: Once again, bitter riots

have started in the Middle East,

00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,471

this time even more massive.

00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,933

And terrorist leader al-Zawahiri

has issued a threat.

00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,577

- [ Dramatic music plays ]

- Retaliation.

00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,121

Oh, my God, m'kay.

00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:00,290

[ Bell rings ]

00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,709

Goddamn "Family Guy."

00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,378

Now they're just

provoking people.

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,046

It's like they want a holy war.

00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,798

Does this mean we don't

have school all week?

00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,716

You guys, this is serious!

00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,802

- We have to do something.

- Mrph rmh?

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,887

We have to go to Fox network

in L.A.

00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,057

We have to go and...

try to get that episode pulled.

00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,767

You guys with me?

00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,851

Dude, we can't go anywhere.

00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,603

They've shut down the airports

and the buses.

00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,397

Then we'll ride our Big Wheels!

00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,941

- To Los Angeles?

- If that's what it takes, yes!

00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,276

We have to talk to the network.

00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,528

The "Family Guy" writers

aren't gonna back down!

00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,154

Well, good for them!

They shouldn't!

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,239

The writers are standing up

00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,074

and saying they aren't

going to be intimidated.

00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,242

Intimidated?

00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,827

Is that what you think

this is about, Kyle?

00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,745

All right, dude. What the hell

has gotten into you?

00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,163

I don't trust for one second

00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,666

that your sudden concern

for the Muslim people is real.

00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,750

All right.

Fine, Kyle.

00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,377

Forget the Muslim faith

for a minute.

00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,878

People can get hurt.

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,505

If 10 people die

because "Family Guy"

00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,173

just had to have

their little joke,

00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,508

will you still think it's funny?

00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,218

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:56,054

What if a hundred people die?

Will it be funny then, Kyle?

00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,767

I'm going to Los Angeles,

and I'm gonna do whatever I can

00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,936

to get that episode pulled

before this gets out of hand.

00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,480

Somebody has to speak

for the Muslim people.

00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,524

Somebody has to speak

for what's right.

00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,033

[ Insects chirping ]

00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,496

Kyle! Kyle, wake up!

We have to go!

00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,957

The terrorists are attacking!

00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,626

[All screaming ]

00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,294

Dad, are you sure this time?

00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,670

This isn't a joke, Kyle.

00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,131

Bombs have already gone off

in six cities!

00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,549

- No!

- Wait a minute!

00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,426

- Where's Ike?!

- He was just here!

00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,094

- Ike!

- Ike!

00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,221

[ Crowd screaming ]

00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,098

Ike?!

Ike!

00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,099

Ike!

00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,477

Ice cream!

00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,437

I want chocolate!

00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,648

Ike, this way!

00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,193

Ike!

00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,154

Kyle!

00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,323

No!

00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,866

[ Gasps ]

00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,951

[ Breathing heavily ]

00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,917

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,013

You come to try and stop me?

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,599

It isn't gonna work.

00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,101

I didn't come to stop you.

00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,937

I-I think you're right, Cartman.

00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,648

I want to help you get

the "Family Guy" episode pulled.

00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,566

[ Music continues ]

00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,361

Yeah. Well, I don't need

a partner on this.

00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,239

Especially one

who doesn't trust me.

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,490

Look, Cartman.

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,908

I don't know what's gotten

into you,

00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,285

but I think it's pretty amazing.

00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,537

And I think it's real.

00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,957

You have to understand why

I didn't believe you before.

00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,877

Yeah, I do understand, Kyle.

00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,338

I've been doing the wrong things

for a long time,

00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,757

doing things

for my own selfish reasons.

00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,385

I just want to do something

right, you know?

00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,303

Just this one time.

00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,764

It's a long trip, dude.

You're gonna need help.

00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,559

We can try and get

the episode pulled together.

00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,061

You know, we might not

even make it into the studio.

00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,229

I know.

00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:13,316

But just like you...

I feel like I have to try.

00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,527

People can really get hurt.

00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,446

And a joke just isn't worth

that.

00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,489

So what made you change

your mind?

00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,410

I got some sound advice

from an old friend.

00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,331

Well, Kyle,

we'd better get going.

00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:29,458

Yeah!

00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,794

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:35,881

You set?

00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,424

I'm set.

Let's do this!

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,550

All right!

Let's roll!

00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,681

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,225

People!

People, quiet, please!

00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,769

We must not panic.

00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,228

Well, what are we gonna do,

Mayor?

00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,482

Part two of the "Family Guy"

episode airs in six days!

00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,610

I believe that Professor Thomas

from the university

00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,278

has come up with a solution.

00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,489

Thank you, Mayor.

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,823

Now, look, everyone.

00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,493

Muslim terrorists and extremists

are threatening us

00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,244

for what "Family Guy"

is going to do

00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,538

because they've wrongly

grouped us together.

00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,500

Our only hope is to make

the Muslim extremists know

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,252

that we had no part

in the Muhammad episode,

00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,004

that even though

the episode aired,

00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,965

we didn't watch it,

we didn't hear it,

00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,092

and we didn't talk about it.

00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,427

So how do we do that?

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:27,057

We bury our heads...in sand.

00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,061

We take 20 to 25 dump trucks,

00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,771

fill them with sand

from Monarch Lake,

00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,190

and then dump the sand

along South Park Avenue.

00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,108

By using approximately

18 dozen shovels,

00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,110

we could each dig a hole

in the sand,

00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,362

stick our heads in the holes,

00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,697

and then have the person

to our left bury them.

00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,658

If we can manage

to get every person's head

00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:45,992

buried deep, deep in sand

00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,078

before the Muhammad episode

airs,

00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,955

we could avoid looking

like we're responsible

00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,456

for any part of this at all.

00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,918

No. No. Wait a minute.

That's ridiculous.

00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,879

Look. What we need to do

is just the opposite.

00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,548

Freedom of speech is at stake

here.

00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,757

Don't you all see?

00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,802

If anything, we should all

make cartoons of Muhammad

00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,346

and show the terrorists

and the extremists

00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:08,348

that we are all united

in the belief

00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,142

that every person has a right

to say what they want.

00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,312

Look, people, it's...

it's been real easy for us

00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,189

to stand up

for free speech lately.

00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,440

For the past few decades,

00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,360

we haven't had to risk anything

to defend it.

00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,821

But those times

are going to come.

00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031

And one of those times

is right now.

00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:29,536

And if we aren't willing

to risk what we have,

00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:32,831

then we just believe

in free speech,

00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,292

but we don't defend it.

00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,378

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,714

I like the sand idea.

00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:41,840

Yeah.

Me too.

00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,009

Yeah. The sand thing

sounds a lot simpler.

00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,636

- Let's do the sand thing.

- Yeah. Let's do the sand thing.

00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,306

We're gonna need eight dozen

shovels and 16 tons of sand!

00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,099

Let's move, people!

00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,314

We've got six days

to make it to Los Angeles.

00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:58,815

If we keep our stops

to a minimum,

00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,901

we should be able to get

the episode pulled just in time.

00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,278

Yes, and in just a few weeks

from now,

00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,072

"Family Guy" will be

off the air forever!

00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,616

Off the air?

00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,783

But we're just going to try

00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,327

to get the Muhammad episode

pulled.

00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,203

It's simple television

economics, Kyle.

00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,705

All it takes to kill a show

forever

00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,540

is get one episode pulled.

00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,334

If we convince the network

to pull this episode

00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,585

for the sake of Muslims,

00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,004

the Catholics can demand a show

they don't like get pulled.

00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,505

And then people

with disabilities can demand

00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:24,925

another show get pulled,

and so on and so on,

00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,010

until "Family Guy" is no more.

00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,179

It's exactly what happened

to "Laverne & Shirley."

00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,016

- Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute!

- [ Tires screech ]

00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,434

This isn't what I signed up for!

00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:35,852

I like "Family Guy."

00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812

Why do we have to get it

off the air forever?

00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,148

Because they --

they made f-fun of Muslims,

00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,274

and -- and that's wrong.

00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,276

But that doesn't mean

it has to go off the air!

00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,361

You should like that show.

00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,321

Your sense of humor

is just like "Family Guy."

00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,781

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,951

Don't you ever, ever

compare me to "Family Guy."

00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,118

You hear me, Kyle?!

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,828

Compare me to "Family Guy"

again,

00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:57,165

and so help me,

I will kill you where you stand.

00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,088

You unbelievable son of a bitch.

00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,965

You never cared about

the Muslim religion

00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,092

or the safety

of people in America.

00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,219

You just want "Family Guy"

off the air.

00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,388

Do you have any idea

what it's like?

00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,555

Everywhere I go --

00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,724

"Hey, Cartman, you must like

'Family Guy,' right?"

00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,851

"Your sense of humor reminds me

of 'Family Guy,' Cartman."

00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,771

I am nothing like "Family Guy."

00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,023

When I make jokes,

they are inherent to a story,

00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,858

deep situational

and emotional jokes

00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,986

based on what is relevant

and has a point,

00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,821

not just one random,

interchangeable joke

00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,030

after another!

00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,782

What are you talking about?

00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:31,992

You don't understand!

00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,537

I can't believe I let you

scare me into taking your side.

00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,498

You used fear to make me

stop believing in free speech.

00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,876

Well, I guess you won't

be helping me now.

00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,336

No biggie.

00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,505

I don't need you

to get the episode pulled.

00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:46,256

No.

00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,550

I am not letting you go

to that television studio

00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,219

and pretend to care

about safety and sensitivity

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,179

to get a show you don't like

off the air!

00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,265

Well, then, Kyle, I guess --

00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,808

Oh, my God.

Is that Tim McGraw?

00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,184

What?

[ Grunts ]

00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,811

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,771

Cartman!

00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:06,109

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,488

- [ Grunts ]

- [ Tires screeching ]

00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,453

Kyle, stop it!

00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,635

[ Music continues ]

00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,221

[ Tires screeching ]

00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,937

[ Horn blares ]

00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,898

- Holy crap!

- Aah!

00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,900

[ Horn blares ]

00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,615

[ Siren wailing ]

00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,288

Stay on 'em!

00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,960

[ Tires screeching ]

00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,463

Jesus, Mary!

00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:23,728

If you have children, be sure

to bury their heads in the sand

00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,438

before you bury your own.

00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,819

Dad, I don't want to bury

my head in the sand.

00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,238

It's the best way, Stanley.

Did you eat your Fruit Roll-up?

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,155

Yeah.

00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,740

Make sure your snorkel

is working.

00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,284

All right.

Now get your head in the hole.

00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,661

Dad, this is stupid.

00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,454

Stanley, there's no time

for your immaturity!

00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,664

Do it!

00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,751

All right, Sharon.

Now do me.

00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,258

Professor, we all

just thought of something.

00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,301

If everyone has

their head buried

00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,137

by the person standing

to their left,

00:18:57,262 --> 00:19:00,557

then who's gonna bury

the last person's head?

00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,810

Yes, I'm afraid one person

is going to have to be last

00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:07,355

and...not have his head

in the sand.

00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,191

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,151

I'll do it.

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,443

Dylan, no!

00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,280

You realize by not burying

your head in sand,

00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,241

you'll appear to be a part

of the "Family Guy" audience.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,701

Yes.

I know.

00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,161

Dylan, please!

You can't!

00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,121

Somebody has to do it, Sarah!

00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,707

You run along now and you

get your head in the sand.

00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,917

I'll be all right.

00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,919

[ Sobbing ]

00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,796

You have to understand.

00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:33,131

I'm all she has.

00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,802

Who are those people?

00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,138

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,198

No!

00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,700

[ Tires screeching ]

00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,368

[ Screams ]

00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,830

Aah!

00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,591

[ Grunts ]

00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,094

[ Laughs ]

So long, Kyle!

00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,764

You son of a bitch!

I won't let you win!

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,765

You hear me?!

00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,935

Suck my balls, Kyle!

00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,312

[ Sobs ]

00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,898

[ Screams ]

00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,108

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,407

Are you the network president?

00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,742

Yes, Mr. President.

00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:46,371

We need to discuss this "Family

Guy" episode, Mr. President.

00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,289

Mr. President,

my hands are tied.

00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,334

The "Family Guy" writers insist

I don't censor Muhammad.

00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,254

But, Mr. President, this is

a matter of national security.

00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,964

They must be reasoned with.

00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,590

Mr. President...

00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,926

there's something about

the "Family Guy" writing staff

00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,262

I think you should know.

00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,722

[ Music continues ]

00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,141

MAN:

Next week on "South Park"...

00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,143

the race continues.

00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,813

Cartman reaches

the "Family Guy" studio

00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,147

and learns the shocking secret

00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,400

behind the "Family Guy"

writing staff...

00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,610

This explains everything.

00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,488

MAN:...as an entire nation

buries its head in sand...

00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,240

The idea has swept the nation.

00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,076

But where will we find

enough sand for everyone?

00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,788

MAN:...and the battle between

good and evil is finally waged.

00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,248

Kyle, quit it!

00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,457

Stop it, Kyle!

00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:34,460

MAN: Will the cartoon be allowed

to appear uncensored?

00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,462

Will "Family Guy" be destroyed?

00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:39,424

Will television executives

fight for free speech,

00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,467

or will Comedy Central puss out?

00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,970

Tune in to see part two

of "Family Guy,"

00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:45,722

next week on "South Park."