Возвращение Шефа

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,992

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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You guys! You guys!

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Chef is going away.

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Going away?

For how long?

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Forever.

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I'm sorry, boys.

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Chef said he's been bored,

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so he's joining a group

called the Super Adventure Club.

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Wow!

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Chef, what kind of questions

do you think

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adventuring around the world

is gonna answer?!

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What's the meaning of life?

Why are we here?

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I hope you're making

the right choice.

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I'm gonna miss him.

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I'm gonna miss Chef, and I --

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and I don't know

how to tell him!

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Dude, how are we gonna go on?

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Chef was our f-friend.

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And we will all miss you, Chef.

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But we know you must do

what your heart tells you.

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- Bye-bye!

- Goodbye!

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- So long, Chef!

- So long! Bye, Chef!

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Goodbye, Chef!

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Have a great time

with the Super Adventure Club!

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Goodbye.

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- See you later!

- Bye, Chef!

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And now part two

of "Life Without Chef."

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Draw two cards, fat-ass.

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Reverse to you, Jew.

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I'll get it.

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Hello, there, children!

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He's back!

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- Yeah!

- Yeah! All right!

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Chef, I can't believe

you're back!

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Well, it's true.

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But are you back for good?!

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That's right.

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Hey, everybody, Chef's back!

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- All right! Yeah!

- Huh? Oh!

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Oh, finally!

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That's great!

That's great!

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Wow. It seems like

you had a great time

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with the Super Adventure Club,

Chef.

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They sound like

really interesting people.

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Yeah.

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But now that you're back here,

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does that mean you're not in the

Super Adventure Club anymore?

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No, no!

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Oh, so have you decided

you can still belong

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to the Super Adventure Club

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but live here

in South Park again?

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That's right!

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Well, it seems like

the Super Adventure Club

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was just what you needed, Chef.

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You must be feeling very happy

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that you found a club

to belong to with new friends

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but that you can also

live here in South Park

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with all your old friends

whom you care for deeply, right?

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That's right!

Randy!

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Yeah. Yeah!

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Well, Chef, you're welcome

to stay here with me

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until you buy another house.

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Thank you.

Jimbo.

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Well, come on, everybody.

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I'm sure Chef would like

a little time to get moved in.

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That's right!

Thank you!

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Goodbye!

Everybody!

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- Later!

- Great to have you back!

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- Bye-bye!

- See you, Chef!

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See you later, Chef!

Bye!

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Well, I guess we'll see you

in school tomorrow, Chef.

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You bet.

Goodbye!

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Children!

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Right.

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Uh, see ya.

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Uh, guys...

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did Chef seem a little,

uh, trippy to you?

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Well, look.

He said he's happier now.

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Maybe he just needs to rest up

a little.

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Yeah, I'm sure whatever

that Super Adventure Club does

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- is pretty tiring.

- Yeah. Look, whatever.

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I'm just glad he's back

for good.

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Mrph rm rph.

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It's really weird what he said.

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I don't know.

It kind of confused me.

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Oh, boy!

Oh, boy!

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I can't wait to have

Chef's lunch food again!

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Yeah. I hope he makes

his Salisbury steak

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with buttered noodles!

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- You guys, you guys!

- What?

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Something's wrong with Chef.

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He's saying

some really weird stuff.

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Like what?

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I think -- I think

he wants to have sex with me.

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What?

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I got to -- I got to go.

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Weirdo.

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Hello, there, children!

00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,472

- Hey, Chef!

- Mrph rm!

00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,224

- How's it going?

- Good.

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Well, how about I meet you boys

after work, and we...

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♪ Make love ♪

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Excuse me?

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Come on, children.

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You're my sexual fantasy.

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Let's all make sweet love.

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Chef, a-are you okay?

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♪ I want to stick my balls ♪

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Inside your rectum.

Kyle.

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Dude, what are you saying?

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♪ I'm gonna make love to ♪

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Your asshole, children.

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What?!

00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:02,094

Hi, kids.

I'm Detective Jarvis.

00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,888

Uh, I need to ask you all

some difficult questions

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about your school

cafeteria chef.

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This doesn't make any sense!

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We have some information

that all this time,

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Chef has been, and still is,

a pedophile.

00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,900

No, he's not.

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Uh-huh.

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No, he's not.

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Yeah.

Yeah, he is so.

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What's a pedal file?

00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:27,453

Now, we need some testimony

in order to arrest Chef,

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so I'm gonna use this doll

to ask you kids a few questions.

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Did Chef ever touch any of you

here?

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No!

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Okay.

Did he touch you here?

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No!

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Did he ever do this?

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How about this?

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BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

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My Uncle Bud

did that to me once!

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Did Chef ever try

one of these on for size?

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God damn it!

Chef isn't like that!

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Something funny is going on

here!

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Young man,

will you please pay attention?

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This is very important stuff!

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Oh!

Ooh.

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Hello, there, children!

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Chef, the police are asking

questions about you.

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Oh, really?

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Well, let's all go home and...

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♪ Make love ♪

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No, Chef, we don't

want to make love to you.

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Kenny, how would you like

to sodomize my black ass?!

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Chef! Chef!

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You need to get out of here

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before you get arrested,

all right?!

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I specializes in your asshole,

Kyle.

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Man, I can't believe

all this time

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Chef just wanted us for sex.

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He didn't want us for sex,

fat-ass!

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Something is making him

say those things.

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Mrph rm?

00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,159

Something must have happened

to Chef while he was gone.

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Maybe he hit his head

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or got stuck in some

quantum time vortex.

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Look, he spent

the last three months

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with that adventurers' club.

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Maybe they know

what happened to him.

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Mrph! Rmhmhm rm mrph

rphmrmhmhm rm rmphmhm rm!

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Yeah!

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All right!

Come on, guys!

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Hey, guys. You know what they

call a Jewish woman's boobs?

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Joobs.

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May I help you?

00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,532

Uh, hi. Can we speak

to the head guy or something?

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Right this way.

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Now, the upper rim

of Kilimanjaro

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should be quite a trek,

and so we'll need to have a --

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Excuse me, sir.

00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,711

These boys wanted to speak

with you.

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Ah, yes! Splendid!

Good afternoon, lads!

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I'm head adventurer

William P. Connelly, Esquire.

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Welcome to

the Super Adventure Club!

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- Jolly-o!

- Cheers!

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- Hello!

- Indeed!

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Uh, hi.

00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,765

Our friend joined your club

a while back,

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and now he wants to molest kids.

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What?

00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,023

Well -- Well, yes, of course!

00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,358

That's what

the Super Adventure Club does!

00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,693

Huh?

00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,237

We travel the world

and have sex with children.

00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406

Yes.

What else would we do?

00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,909

Well, we thought

you went exploring

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and, like, hunting and stuff.

00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,496

No, no.

That's the Adventure Club.

00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:17,080

We're the Super Adventure Club.

00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:21,001

Next week, we will be heading to

the outer banks of the Amazon,

00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,294

where we will make camp

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and have sex with children

of the Ugani tribe.

00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,840

Then it's off

to the mighty Himalayas,

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,217

where we will climb K2

00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,844

and molest several Tibetan

children on the east summit.

00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,262

Dude!

00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,931

I know!

But it gets even better!

00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,433

From there, we will kayak

to the fruitful banks

00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,809

of the Mili River in Africa,

00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,812

where the secret and mysterious

Hanini people have children

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who have never seen

a white man's erect penis.

00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,734

Of course, we're always looking

for kids to have sex with

00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,361

on the plane rides

over to these places.

00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:50,739

So how would you all like to

join the Super Adventure Club?!

00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,449

No!

00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,076

No?

00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,494

Oh, really?

00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,622

Perhaps I should ask you again.

00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,335

How would you like to join

the Super Adventure Club?

00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,880

No.

00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,802

Dude, what are you doing?

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,221

Oh, well.

It doesn't work on everybody.

00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,639

Well, so long, then.

00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,015

Just what the hell

is that thing?!

00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,184

What? What thing?

I don't see anything.

00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,812

- Ha! I knew it!

- Knew what?

00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:24,565

The reason Chef has been saying

those terrible things about us

00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:28,652

is because he's been brainwashed

by this fruity little club!

00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,825

Oh, son of a bitch!

00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,122

Come on, children.

00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:40,998

Let's all go home and...

00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,374

♪ Make love ♪

00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,001

You need to see a psychiatrist,

Chef.

00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,002

It's for your own good.

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,044

I'd just like to...

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:46,878

♪ Make love ♪

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,046

Up your butt.

00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,423

Oh, my God!

00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,049

Mr. Chef, is it?

00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,759

All right.

Come on.

00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,265

Hello. I'm Dr. Neeland.

What can I do for you today?

00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,267

Hi. Our friend

has been brainwashed

00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,686

by some fruity little club.

00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187

Brainwashed?

00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,106

Yeah, he joined

the Super Adventure Club,

00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:08,483

and they convinced him

having sex with kids was okay

00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,360

with a little thing

that goes:.

00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,863

I thought that club

was for hiking and kayaking.

00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,114

No, that's the Adventure Club.

00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,074

The Super Adventure Club

has sex with children.

00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,326

Oh.

00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,910

Oh!

That's right. Yeah.

00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,456

Doctor, do you have...children?

00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,791

Why, yes.

I have two young boys.

00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:28,128

Have y'all been sodomizing

your childrens, too?!

00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,589

You say he's never

been like this before?

00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,299

No.

Chef has always been super cool.

00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,134

♪ I'm gonna make love to ♪

00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,261

The children.

00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,013

He's pretty brainwashed,

all right.

00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,348

Worst case I've ever seen.

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,390

So what can we do?

00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,225

I'm afraid

there's no simple answer.

00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,103

When somebody is brainwashed,

it can take months, even years,

00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,271

to reverse the process.

00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,939

But we don't have years!

00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:50,275

If Chef keeps this up,

he's gonna go to jail forever!

00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,861

Tell me -- What was Chef's

favorite thing to do

00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,238

before it was having sex

with children?

00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,615

Having sex with women.

00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,658

Then that's it!

00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,702

We'd better get your friend to

the Peppermint Hippo right away.

00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,500

All right, guys.

Be sure to tip your waitresses.

00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:07,501

This is a two-for-one.

00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:10,337

Put your hands together.

This is Monica.

00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,175

Aw, come on, children.

Let's go home.

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,385

This isn't working.

00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,804

Well, let's give it

some more time, kids.

00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,848

Would you like a dance?

00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,434

No, thanks. We're trying

to un-brainwash our friend.

00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,228

Dance?

00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,772

Anybody want a dance?

00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,943

Come on, bitch.

Dance.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,319

Up yours, fatty.

00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,612

Bitch, I'll twist your nuts off.

00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,114

All right, guys.

How we feeling out there?

00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,657

We got a featured dancer

coming up next.

00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,911

Put your hands together

for Spantaneous Bootay.

00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,544

Come on, guys.

We might as well go.

00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,799

God damn!

00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:56,925

Chef, we're leaving.

00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,177

No, no. Wait.

Let him go.

00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,684

Come here, sugar.

00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,313

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,359

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,740

Wait a minute.

00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,241

He's remembering!

00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,869

Children, what have I done?

00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,704

It's okay, Chef.

Go on. Remember!

00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,581

♪ I'm gonna -- I'm gonna -- ♪

00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,000

Come on, Chef.

You can do it!

00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:34,212

♪ I'm gonna make love to you,

woman ♪

00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,424

♪ Gonna lay you down

by the fire ♪

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,593

- Yay!

- Mrph rm!

00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,804

Hey, children, everybody!

I'm back!

00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,890

Ow!

00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,143

Great shot, William.

Hit him with another.

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,686

Oh!

00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,397

- Chef!

- Mrph!

00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,695

Tally-ho, lads!

00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,489

I must say

you're starting to become

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,741

quite a thorn in my balls.

00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,117

Where's Chef?

What have you done with him?

00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,077

He's safe.

00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,371

He's fasting

in the deprivation room

00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:10,791

and being read

the Super Adventure Club manual.

00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:13,168

We've got to undo the damage

you've done.

00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,879

Look, if you want to go around

the world molesting kids,

00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,298

that's totally fine,

but why do you need Chef?

00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,967

We don't need him.

He needs us!

00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,220

Our club offers hope.

00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,764

You think we go around the world

molesting children

00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,725

just because it feels really,

really, really, really good?

00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:29,726

No!

00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,353

Our club has a message

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,314

and a secret that explains

the mysteries of life.

00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,149

Oh, Jesus.

Here we go.

00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,400

Very well.

00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,361

I'm now going to tell you

the secret

00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,779

of the Super Adventure Club.

00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,030

We don't want to hear it.

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,491

You see, the Super

Adventure Club was founded

00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,286

by the greatest explorer of

all time, William P. Phineas!

00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,664

Phineas climbed

the highest peaks,

00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,499

tamed the mightiest rivers!

00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,167

But every time he got somewhere,

00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,379

he realized that other explorers

had beat him to it.

00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,422

Phineas was depressed

until he realized

00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,133

that if he couldn't be

the first to discover places,

00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:05,136

he could be the first to have

sex with the native children

00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,805

that inhabited those areas!

00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,016

Phineas quickly went down in

history books as the first man

00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,936

to have sex with

the aborigine children at Uluru

00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,771

and the first explorer to bugger

00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,232

all the underage mountain folk

of Nepal!

00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,860

But now

the most wonderful part.

00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,195

You see, after having sex

with all those children,

00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,282

Phineas realized that molesting

all those kids

00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,617

had made him immortal.

00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,743

Immortal?

00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,412

He discovered that children

00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,622

have things called marlocs

in their bodies.

00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,833

And when an adult has sex

with a child,

00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,419

the marlocs implode, feeding

the adult's receptor cavity

00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,588

with energy that causes

immortality.

00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,631

So sayeth the ruler of Bethos.

00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,760

Phineas traveled the world,

loving many, many children.

00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,263

And he lived for eternity,

00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,850

until he was hit by a train

in 1892.

00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,395

Do you realize how retarded

that sounds?

00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,479

Is it any more retarded

00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:59,524

than the idea of God sending

His son to die for our sins?

00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,234

Is it any more retarded

than Buddha

00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,278

sitting beneath a tree

for 20 years?!

00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,947

Yeah.

It's way, way more retarded.

00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,159

Well, now that you know

our club's secrets...

00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,703

it appears you leave us

no choice.

00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,332

I'm afraid we're going to

have to...

00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,083

ask you to leave.

00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,341

We're not leaving without Chef.

00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,092

If you choose not to leave,

00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,803

then I'm afraid we're

just going to have to...

00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,598

call security

and make you leave.

00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,187

You'll be led out by security,

00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,605

and it will be

super embarrassing,

00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,190

and everyone here will see.

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,287

You know how, like,

when you want people to leave,

00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,790

but they won't leave,

it's really frustrating?

00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,875

We're not going anywhere

without Chef!

00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,586

Cool people leave before they've

overstayed their welcome.

00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,091

You petulant fools!

00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,426

You just had to push it,

didn't you?

00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,846

You don't realize

who you're dealing with here.

00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,390

Security!

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,186

Take these boys to the door.

00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,729

All right.

Come on, kids.

00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,064

No! Hey!

00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,567

Ha ha! Look, they're being

led out by security! Ha ha!

00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:25,860

No.

You don't understand.

00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,154

They've got our friend

in a deprivation room!

00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,782

This is their house,

and they don't want you here.

00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,451

Aah!

00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,286

Sorry, dude,

but this fruity little club

00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,372

isn't taking our friend!

00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,334

And sex with Eskimo children

requires some special skill.

00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:42,961

Chef, come on!

00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,963

Children!

- Get out of here!

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,257

Kenny, spin blossom nut squash!

00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,883

Mrph!

- Ow!

00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:49,926

Come on, Chef!

00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,220

I can't break these locks.

00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,555

Here!

00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,850

Come on, Chef!

00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,895

What the -- Impossible!

00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,772

I made them leave!

00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,274

Get outside!

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,900

Stop them!

00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,987

Children, run!

00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,450

Stop!

00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:15,785

We made it!

00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:20,206

Don't you remember why you left

South Park in the first place?

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,919

- Chef, come on!

- You sought adventure!

00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,547

And why do people seek

adventure?

00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:31,176

Because their lives

have become dull and empty!

00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,844

Yeah, he wanted adventure,

00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:36,097

not a bunch of ridiculous

bullcrap, right, Chef?!

00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,392

Chef?

00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,437

Don't forget

all your training, Chef.

00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,983

Stay with us, and your life

will be grand and eternal!

00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:50,028

Chef...we love you.

00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:55,408

I'm sorry, children.

00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,661

No! Chef! They've filled

your head with lies.

00:17:58,787 --> 00:17:59,829

Can't you see that?

00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:02,082

Get the hell out of here,

children!

00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,291

Yes.

00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,628

Looks like our fruity

little club is safe after all.

00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,131

Aah!

00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,216

No!

00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:13,635

- Chef!

- Chef!

00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,346

Aah!

00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,724

Ow! Oh!

Aah!

00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,934

Oh!

Damn it!

00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,644

Oh!

00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,561

No!

00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,066

A mountain lion!

00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,904

We can't lose another member!

Shoot it!

00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,239

Aah!

00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,366

I right missed!

00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:37,951

Aah!

00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,036

Chef!

00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,287

A grizzly bear!

00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:57,262

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey.

00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,518

Oh, my God.

00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,270

They killed Chef.

00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,938

You bastards!

00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,315

You bastards!

00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,692

Pity.

00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,528

He would have made

an excellent child molester.

00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,578

Maybe -- Maybe he's still okay.

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,745

No.

Really!

00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,998

They say the last thing you do

before you die is crap your --

00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,044

Oh, never mind.

00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,338

Come on.

Let's go.

00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:54,736

We're all here today

00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,906

because Chef has been such

an important part of our lives.

00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,743

A lot of us don't agree

with the choices Chef has made

00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,286

in the past few days.

00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,289

Some of us feel hurt

and confused

00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,291

that he seemed to turn his back

on us.

00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,044

But we can't let the events

of the last week

00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:14,339

take away the memories

of how much Chef made us smile.

00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,633

I'm gonna remember Chef

as the jolly old guy

00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,051

who always broke into song.

00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,220

I'm gonna remember Chef

00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,472

as the guy who gave us advice

to live by.

00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:27,518

So, you see, we shouldn't be

mad at Chef for leaving us.

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,604

We should be mad

at that fruity little club

00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,690

for scrambling his brains.

00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,692

Yeah.

00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,069

He's right.

00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,075

And in the end,

I know that somewhere out there,

00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,703

there's the good part of Chef

that's still alive in us all.

00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,418

Is it working?

Is it working?!

00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,296

Yes.

We've got a pulse!

00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,257

Get him in the ICU suit!

Hurry!

00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,511

That's done it! Good!

Raise him up!

00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,400

Chef, can you hear me?

00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:16,943

Say something.

00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:20,154

Hello, there, children.

00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:25,159

How would you like

some Salisbury steak?

00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,744

Yes. Go on.

00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,788

And for dessert,

00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,665

how would you children like

to suck

00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,085

on my chocolate salty balls?

00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,213

Oh.

You mean like a chocolate candy?

00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,383

No.

I mean my balls.

00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:41,592

Yes!

00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,012

Yes!

00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,326

РАНЕЕ В "САУТ ПАРКЕ"

00:00:38,058 --> 00:00:39,756

Пацаны! Пацаны!

00:00:40,318 --> 00:00:41,519

Шеф уезжает!

00:00:42,386 --> 00:00:44,068

Уезжает? А надолго?

00:00:45,690 --> 00:00:46,443

Навсегда.

00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:50,339

Простите, ребята.

00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:51,525

Шеф сказал, что ему все надоело

00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:54,893

и он решил вступить в общество

под названием «Клуб Супер-Приключений»

00:00:56,103 --> 00:01:00,832

Шеф?? И на какие вопросы, по-твоему,

дадут ответ поиски приключений по всему миру?

00:01:01,571 --> 00:01:02,244

В чем смысл жизни?

00:01:02,739 --> 00:01:03,875

Зачем мы здесь?

00:01:04,322 --> 00:01:06,109

Надеюсь, ты делаешь правильный выбор.

00:01:06,670 --> 00:01:08,033

Я буду скучать по нем.

00:01:08,346 --> 00:01:12,100

Я буду скучать по Шефу….и не знаю,

как ему об этом сказать!

00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,979

Блин, как же мы теперь?

00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:17,130

Шеф был нашим д…другом.

00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:20,126

И нам будет очень тебя недоставать, Шеф...

00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:22,731

но мы знаем, что ты должен следовать зову сердца…

00:01:23,346 --> 00:01:26,346

До свидания!

00:01:27,611 --> 00:01:29,579

До свидания, Шеф!

00:01:29,596 --> 00:01:32,078

Всего тебе хорошего в «Клубе Супер-Приключений!»

00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:33,346

До свидания!

00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:48,566

А теперь вторая часть «Жизни без Шефа»

00:01:50,286 --> 00:01:51,245

Тяни две карты, жиртрест.

00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,265

Перевожу на тебя, жидяра.

00:01:55,108 --> 00:01:56,198

Я открою.

00:01:58,187 --> 00:02:00,551

ЗдорОво, ребятишки!

00:02:00,665 --> 00:02:04,506

Вернулся!

(Все) Ура! Вернулся!

00:02:05,174 --> 00:02:08,572

Шеф! Даже не верится, что ты вернулся!

00:02:08,832 --> 00:02:10,011

Что ж. Это правда.

00:02:10,385 --> 00:02:11,328

А ты вернулся навсегда?

00:02:11,545 --> 00:02:12,272

Верно.

00:02:13,235 --> 00:02:14,288

Слушайте все!

00:02:14,497 --> 00:02:15,537

Шеф вернулся!

00:02:15,954 --> 00:02:21,453

Все: Ура! Здорово!

00:02:24,703 --> 00:02:30,629

Похоже, тебе было классно в «Клубе Супер-Приключений»

Они мне показались очень интересными людьми.

00:02:30,631 --> 00:02:31,346

Да!

00:02:31,558 --> 00:02:33,964

раз ты вернулся, значит ли это, что ты...

00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:36,067

...больше не состоишь в «Клубе Супер-Приключений»?

00:02:36,171 --> 00:02:37,880

Нет, нет!

00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:41,756

Ааа, значит, ты решил, что будешь оставаться

членом Клуба,

00:02:41,943 --> 00:02:43,429

но будешь, как и раньше, жить в Саут Парке?

00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,988

Именно.

00:02:45,023 --> 00:02:48,449

Похоже, что "Клуб" это

было как раз то, что тебе нужно, Шеф

00:02:48,484 --> 00:02:49,885

Должно быть ты очень счастлив,

00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,011

что нашел свой клуб и новых друзей,

00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,348

но ты также можешь жить и в Саут Парке

со всеми старыми друзьями,

00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,141

...которые тебе совсем не безразличны. Верно?

00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:58,147

Правильно.

00:02:58,182 --> 00:02:59,184

РЭНДИ!

00:03:01,661 --> 00:03:05,569

Шеф, буду рад, если поживешь у меня, пока не купишь

новый дом.

00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:07,056

Спасибо.

00:03:07,091 --> 00:03:08,266

Джимбо.

00:03:08,301 --> 00:03:09,918

Ну ладно, пойдемте.

00:03:09,953 --> 00:03:12,252

Думаю, Шефу необходимо время, чтоб переехать.

00:03:12,336 --> 00:03:13,289

Точно!

00:03:13,324 --> 00:03:16,169

Спасибо. Все-е-ем –Покаааа.

00:03:16,204 --> 00:03:19,115

Пока! Увидимся!

00:03:19,150 --> 00:03:23,261

Что ж, думаю, увидимся завтра в школе, Шеф?

00:03:23,296 --> 00:03:24,796

А то!

00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:25,707

Пока.

00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:27,108

ДЕТИ!

00:03:27,143 --> 00:03:30,479

Ага…

00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:31,581

….увидимся.

00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,806

Ребят...

00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:38,420

А вам Шеф не показался каким-то…эээ…слегка обдолбанным?

00:03:40,914 --> 00:03:43,986

Слушайте. Он сказал, что теперь ему гораздо лучше.

00:03:44,021 --> 00:03:45,441

Может, ему нужно чуток отдохнуть.

00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:48,340

Точно. Уверен, что чем бы не занимались в

«Клубе Супер-Приключений» - это довольно утомительно.

00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:48,583

Ага, но несмотря ни на что, я рад,

что он вернулся навсегда.

Точно. Уверен, что чем бы не занимались в

«Клубе Супер-Приключений» - это довольно утомительно.

00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:50,584

Ага, но несмотря ни на что, я рад,

что он вернулся навсегда.

00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:51,666

(Да, и я тоже!)

00:03:54,483 --> 00:03:56,688

Он говорит какие-то очень странные вещи.

Не знаю, меня это как-то смутило.

00:03:56,973 --> 00:03:58,152

Ёлы-палы!!!

00:03:58,187 --> 00:04:00,190

Жду не дождусь Шефовой стряпни на обед.

00:04:00,225 --> 00:04:03,044

Да. Надеюсь, он готовит свой

бифштекс по-солсберийски и лапшу с маслом!

00:04:03,079 --> 00:04:05,143

- Пацаны! Пацаны!

- Чего?

00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,765

С Шефом что-то не так...

00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,861

Он несет какой-то странный бред.

00:04:08,896 --> 00:04:10,673

Например?

00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,844

Думаю… Думаю, он хочет секса со мной.

00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,403

Чего???

00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:17,209

Мне…мне пора.

00:04:17,244 --> 00:04:19,476

Извращенец.

00:04:19,511 --> 00:04:22,681

Здорово, детишки!

00:04:22,716 --> 00:04:23,449

Привет, Шеф.

00:04:23,484 --> 00:04:24,595

Как дела?

00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:25,463

Хорошо.

00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,661

А что, если мы встретимся после работы...

00:04:27,696 --> 00:04:29,346

...и ЗАЙМЕ-Е-ЕМСЯ любовью?

00:04:30,171 --> 00:04:32,754

Что, простите?

00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:33,884

Давайте, дети!

00:04:33,919 --> 00:04:35,996

Вы - моя любовная фантазия.

00:04:36,031 --> 00:04:38,984

Займемся же сладкой любовью.

00:04:41,244 --> 00:04:42,090

Шеф?!

00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:43,423

Ты в порядке?

00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:47,694

Хочу ЗАСУНУТЬ СВОИ ЯЙЦА тебе в анал, Кайл.

00:04:50,058 --> 00:04:50,829

Блин, ты что несёшь?

00:04:50,864 --> 00:04:54,485

И займу-у-усь я любовью С ВАШИМ ЗАДОМ, дети.

00:04:57,668 --> 00:04:58,809

ЧЕГО?

00:04:58,844 --> 00:05:02,425

Привет, дети. Я детектив Джарвис.

00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:05,272

Мне нужно задать вам пару непростых вопросов

00:05:05,307 --> 00:05:07,324

насчет вашего школьного повара.

00:05:07,359 --> 00:05:09,172

Ерунда какая-то.

00:05:09,207 --> 00:05:11,741

У нас есть сведения, что все это время

00:05:11,776 --> 00:05:14,339

Шеф был, да и сейчас остается...

00:05:14,374 --> 00:05:15,282

педофилом.

00:05:15,317 --> 00:05:17,176

Нет, не был.

00:05:17,211 --> 00:05:18,474

Ага.

00:05:18,509 --> 00:05:20,663

Нет, не был.

00:05:20,698 --> 00:05:22,723

Угу, он и есть.

00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:24,284

А что такое «педофил»?

00:05:24,629 --> 00:05:26,089

Нам нужны некоторые свидетельства,

00:05:26,271 --> 00:05:27,496

чтобы взять Шефа под арест

00:05:27,886 --> 00:05:29,187

так что я воспользуюсь этой куклой...

00:05:29,222 --> 00:05:30,820

чтобы задать вам несколько вопросов.

00:05:30,855 --> 00:05:33,589

Трогал ли Шеф когда-либо кого-нибудь из вас…

00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:34,301

вот здесь?

00:05:34,336 --> 00:05:35,777

Нет!

00:05:35,812 --> 00:05:37,980

Ладно, а здесь трогал?

00:05:38,015 --> 00:05:39,020

Нет!

00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:41,709

А он когда-нибудь делал вот так?

00:05:41,744 --> 00:05:43,104

Или так?

00:05:44,805 --> 00:05:46,548

Мой дядя Бад как-то мне такое делал!

00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:50,257

А вот так он не пробовал?

00:05:50,292 --> 00:05:52,994

Твою мать! Шеф вовсе на такой.

00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:54,566

Что это здесь за цирк вообще?

00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:55,433

Юноша!

00:05:55,468 --> 00:06:01,515

Прошу вас уделить мне внимание. Это очень важно.

Ооооо! Ооооо!

00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:11,905

Привет, детишки!

00:06:12,477 --> 00:06:15,911

Шеф, полиция тобой интересуется!

00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:17,624

Правда?

00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:20,270

Что ж, пойдемте домой и ЗАЙМЕМСЯ ЛЮБОВЬЮ.

00:06:20,305 --> 00:06:22,726

Нет, Шеф. Мы не хотим заниматься с тобой любовью!

00:06:22,761 --> 00:06:26,242

Кенни, не желаешь отсодомировать

мой черный зад?

00:06:26,277 --> 00:06:27,731

Шеф, Шеф!

00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:30,538

Тебе нужно сматываться, пока не арестовали, ясно?!

00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:33,200

Я специализируется у тебя в жопе, Кайл.

00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:39,949

Блин, не верится, что все это время...

00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:41,670

...мы были нужны Шефу только для секса.

00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,214

Мы не были ему нужны для секса, жиртрест!

00:06:44,249 --> 00:06:45,918

Что-то заставляет его говорить такие вещи.

00:06:46,025 --> 00:06:46,907

(Что, например?)

00:06:46,911 --> 00:06:49,295

Должно быть, что-то случилось с Шефом

во время его отсутствия.

00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:52,571

Может, головой ударился, а может, попал

в какую-то квантовую временнУю воронку.

00:06:52,606 --> 00:06:55,738

Послушайте. Он провел последние 3 месяца

с этим клубом приключений.

00:06:55,773 --> 00:06:56,982

Может, они знаю, что с ним случилось?

00:06:57,030 --> 00:07:01,190

Кенни: Точно!....(неразборчиво)

00:07:01,225 --> 00:07:03,230

Ага! Идемте, пацаны!

00:07:11,941 --> 00:07:14,366

Ребят, знаете, как называются сиськи у еврейки?

00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,464

Евро-сиськи!

00:07:22,321 --> 00:07:25,177

Чем могу служить?

00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,392

Ээээ, привет. Можно поговорить с самым главным...

00:07:27,392 --> 00:07:27,957

или типа того?

Ээээ, привет. Можно поговорить с самым главным...

00:07:27,957 --> 00:07:28,611

или типа того?

00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:30,076

Прошу сюда.

00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:36,262

Значит, путешествие к вершине Килиманджаро

будет довольно трудным...

00:07:36,297 --> 00:07:37,352

...поэтому, нам понадобятся…

00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:38,746

Прошу прощения, сэр.

00:07:38,781 --> 00:07:40,579

Эти мальчики хотели поговорить с вами.

00:07:40,614 --> 00:07:44,054

Ах, да, великолепно. Добрый день, юноши.

00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:44,933

Я - Главный Искатель Приключений

00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:46,604

Вильям П. Конноли, эсквайр.

00:07:46,639 --> 00:07:48,689

Добро пожаловать в «Клуб Супер-Приключений»!

00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:49,688

Приветствуем!

00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:50,729

Именно.

00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,585

Эээ, привет. Наш друг некоторое время назад...

00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:57,346

вступил в ваш клуб,

а теперь ему хочется растлять детей.

00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,269

Что?! Ах, да, ну конечно!

вступил в ваш клуб,

а теперь ему хочется растлять детей.

00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,236

Что?! Ах, да, ну конечно!

00:08:01,271 --> 00:08:03,034

Этим и занимается «Клуб Супер-Приключений»!

00:08:03,403 --> 00:08:04,907

Чё?!

00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:07,405

Мы путешествуем по миру и занимаемся сексом с детьми!

00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,483

А чем нам еще, по-вашему, заниматься?

00:08:10,828 --> 00:08:13,704

Мы думали, что вы ездите в экспедиции,

и типа охотитесь и всё такое!

00:08:13,739 --> 00:08:15,610

Нет, нет. Это всё «Клуб Приключений».

00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,237

А мы – «Клуб Супер-Приключений»!

00:08:17,272 --> 00:08:21,285

На следующей неделе мы отправляемся

на дальний берег Амазонки,

00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,574

где разобьем лагерь и будем заниматься сексом

с детьми племени Угани,

00:08:24,609 --> 00:08:30,938

затем - Гималаи, где мы взойдем на вершину К-2,

и будем растлевать тибетских ребятишек на восточном пике.

00:08:30,973 --> 00:08:32,628

Твою мать!

00:08:32,663 --> 00:08:34,243

Знаю, но дальше – лучше!

00:08:34,278 --> 00:08:37,822

Оттуда мы спустимся на байдарках к плодоносным

берегам реки Меле, что в Африке,

00:08:37,857 --> 00:08:43,456

где у загадочной народности Ханими есть дети,

никогда не видевшие возбужденного члена белого человека.

00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:45,972

Естественно, мы ищем детей для секса...

00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:47,608

во время сафари, вот здесь...

00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:50,781

так что, как вы ВСЕ смотрите на то,

чтобы вступить в «Клуб Супер-Приключений»

00:08:50,816 --> 00:08:52,393

Нет!

00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:54,015

Нет?

00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,578

Вот так, значит?

00:08:55,613 --> 00:08:57,691

Может, мне стоит спросить еще разок?

00:08:59,388 --> 00:09:03,565

Как вы смотрите на то, чтобы вступить

в «Клуб Супер-Приключений»?

00:09:04,622 --> 00:09:07,128

Нет!

00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,806

Мужик, ты чего делаешь?

00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:15,620

Черт, на всех подряд не действует.

В таком случае - всего хорошего!

00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,278

А что это за хреновина?!

00:09:17,313 --> 00:09:19,523

Какая? Какая хреновина? Ничего такого не вижу.

00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,880

Ага! Я так и знал!

00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:22,084

Что знал?

00:09:22,119 --> 00:09:24,537

Причина, по которой Шеф говорит эти мерзости в том...

00:09:24,572 --> 00:09:28,452

что ему промыли мозги! В этом гадском клубе!

00:09:30,797 --> 00:09:34,178

Твою же ж мать!

00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:37,446

РОБЕРТ ДЖ. НИЛАНД, ПСИХИАТР

00:09:38,148 --> 00:09:41,411

Детишки! А пойдемте-ка домой...

00:09:41,446 --> 00:09:42,531

...и ЗАЙМЕМСЯ ЛЮБОВЬЮ!

00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:45,434

Шеф, тебе нужно сходить к психиатру.

Это для твоей же пользы.

00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:48,345

Я просто хочу полюбить твою попу!

00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,329

Боже мой!

00:09:49,364 --> 00:09:51,522

Есть Мистер Шеф?

00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:52,716

Ладно, идемте.

00:09:53,838 --> 00:09:57,380

Здравствуйте. Я – доктор Ниланд.

00:09:57,415 --> 00:09:58,257

Чем могу помочь?

00:09:58,292 --> 00:10:01,964

Здрасьте.

Эээ, нашему другу промыли мозги в одном гадском клубе.

00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:04,452

Мозги промыли?

00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,408

Да. Он вступил в «Клуб Супер-Приключений»,

00:10:06,558 --> 00:10:08,585

...а ему внушили, что заниматься сексом с детьми

- это хорошо.

00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,659

И воздействовали на него штуковиной,

которая делает вот так: вж-ж-ж-ж!

00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:11,888

Я думал, что это клуб занимается

00:10:11,923 --> 00:10:13,341

туризмом и спуском на байдарках.

00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:14,632

Нет, это «Клуб Приключений».

00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,514

А «Клуб Супер-Приключений» занимается сексом с детьми.

00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,942

Да? Ах, да, точно.

00:10:18,977 --> 00:10:22,161

Доктор, а у вас ДЕТИ есть?

00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:24,802

Да. У меня два маленьких мальчика.

00:10:24,837 --> 00:10:28,021

А вы со СВОИМИ ДЕТЬМИ тоже занимаетесь аналом?

00:10:28,056 --> 00:10:30,836

Говорите, раньше он таким не был?

00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:32,683

Не, Шеф всегда был супер-классный.

00:10:32,718 --> 00:10:35,798

Я БУДУ ЗАНИМАТЬСЯ С ДЕТИШКАМИ любовью!

00:10:37,117 --> 00:10:38,648

Да, мозги ему промыли здорово.

00:10:38,683 --> 00:10:39,793

Самый тяжелый случай в моей практике.

00:10:39,828 --> 00:10:40,750

И что мы можем сделать?

00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:42,838

Боюсь, однозначного ответа нет.

00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:44,100

После промывания мозгов

00:10:44,135 --> 00:10:46,817

включение обратного процесса может занять месяцы

и даже годы.

00:10:46,852 --> 00:10:49,414

Но у нас нет этих лет!

Если он будет продолжать в том же духе...

00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,581

его посадят в тюрьму на веки вечные!

00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,928

Скажите, а что Шеф любил больше всего делать...

00:10:52,963 --> 00:10:55,241

...до того, как полюбил заниматься сексом с детьми?

00:10:55,276 --> 00:10:57,065

Заниматься сексом с женщинами.

00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:00,390

То, что нужно. Думаю, лучше прямо сейчас

сводить его к «Мятным Лошадкам» .

00:11:03,304 --> 00:11:07,917

Что ж, ребята, убедитесь, что дали официанткам на чай.

00:11:08,259 --> 00:11:10,894

А теперь подняли ручки - встречаем - Моник!

00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:14,745

Да ладно, дети.

00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:15,668

Идем домой.

00:11:15,703 --> 00:11:16,781

Ничего не получается.

00:11:16,816 --> 00:11:19,147

Давайте…дадим ему еще пару минут, дети.

00:11:20,843 --> 00:11:22,326

Потанцу-у-у-уем?

00:11:22,361 --> 00:11:23,162

Нет, спасибо.

00:11:23,197 --> 00:11:24,782

Мы пытаемся вправить мозги нашему другу.

00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:29,101

Потанцуем? Кто-нибудь хочет потанцевать?

00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:33,216

Давай, сука, работай!

00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:34,675

Отвали, жирный!

00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,031

Я тебе, сучка, щас яйца откручу!

00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,646

Ну что ж, ребятки, давайте мне поможем.

00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:42,973

А сейчас у нас по плану тематический стриптиз,

похлопаем…Импульсивная Бутэ!

00:11:48,049 --> 00:11:50,707

Идем, ребят. Пора уходить.

00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,392

Ёшкин…кот!

00:11:56,427 --> 00:11:57,295

Шеф, уходим!

00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:59,542

Нет, нет. Не мешайте ему.

00:12:04,325 --> 00:12:06,207

Иди ко мне, щекастенький!

00:12:17,936 --> 00:12:19,016

Минуточку.

00:12:19,979 --> 00:12:21,478

Он вспоминает!

00:12:21,513 --> 00:12:24,322

Дети! Что я наделал!

00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:26,022

Все в порядке, Шеф. Давай, вспоминай!

00:12:26,057 --> 00:12:27,850

Я щас … Я щас…

00:12:27,885 --> 00:12:30,290

Давай, Шеф! У тебя получится!

00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:33,207

Я щас займусь с тобой любовью,

00:12:33,242 --> 00:12:38,018

своим огнем тебя я уложу, подруга!

00:12:38,053 --> 00:12:44,245

Дети, слушайте все! Я вернулся!

Ай!

00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:47,764

Отличный выстрел, Вильям!

Давай еще разок.

00:12:48,305 --> 00:12:49,297

Ой!

00:12:50,591 --> 00:12:51,736

Шеф!

00:12:56,612 --> 00:12:59,063

Приветсвтую, юноши!

00:12:59,098 --> 00:13:00,928

Должен сказать, что вы мне становитесь,

00:13:00,963 --> 00:13:03,025

как заноза в яйцах.

00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:04,396

Где Шеф? Что вы с ним сделали?

00:13:04,431 --> 00:13:05,314

Он в безопасности.

00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:08,960

Он постится в комнате отречения

00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:11,072

под чтение Инструкции нашего Клуба

00:13:11,107 --> 00:13:13,431

Мы должны нейтрализовать причиненный вами ущерб.

00:13:13,466 --> 00:13:17,050

Если вы хотите бродить по свету, развращая детишек,

то фиг с вами.

00:13:17,085 --> 00:13:18,501

Но зачем вам нужен Шеф?!

00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,055

Не он нам нужен.

00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,081

Мы ему нужны.

00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:23,581

Наш клуб дает надежду.

00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:26,283

Думаете, мы бродим по свету, развращая детишек...

00:13:26,318 --> 00:13:28,934

...потому, что это очень-очень-очень-очень здорово!?

00:13:28,969 --> 00:13:29,736

Нет.

00:13:29,771 --> 00:13:31,625

У нашего клуба есть миссия!

00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:34,515

И секрет, объясняющий таинства жизни!

00:13:34,550 --> 00:13:36,009

Ну все, блин, понесло.

00:13:36,044 --> 00:13:37,685

Что ж, хорошо.

00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,007

Я вам расскажу секрет «Клуба Супер-Приключений»

00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:42,448

Мы не хотим его слушать.

00:13:42,483 --> 00:13:44,960

Понимаете, «Клуб Супер-Приключений» был основан

00:13:44,995 --> 00:13:48,733

величайшим исследователем всех времен,

Вильямом П. Финиасом.

00:13:48,768 --> 00:13:52,413

Финиас взбирался на самые высокие вершины,

покорял могучие реки

00:13:52,448 --> 00:13:54,397

но каждый раз, когда он куда-нибудь добирался,

00:13:54,432 --> 00:13:57,295

то понимал, что другие исследователи его уже обошли.

00:13:57,330 --> 00:13:58,794

Финиас был в отчаянии

00:13:58,829 --> 00:14:02,136

пока не понял, что если он не может быть первым

в открытиях разных мест...

00:14:02,171 --> 00:14:05,505

то может быть первый в сексе с детьми,

00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,022

населяющими те места.

00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:09,772

Финиас быстро попал на страницы книг по истории

00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:13,154

как первый человек, занимавшийся

сексом с детьми Аберични в Утару.

00:14:13,189 --> 00:14:16,924

И первый исследователь, отпедривший всех несовершеннолетних

горных обитателей Непала.

00:14:17,329 --> 00:14:19,661

А теперь самое интересное.

00:14:19,696 --> 00:14:22,513

Понимаете, после секса со всеми этими детьми,

00:14:22,548 --> 00:14:23,398

Финиас понял,

00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:27,299

что…развращение детей сделало его бессмертным.

00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,100

Бессмертным.

00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,481

Он открыл, что в организме детей

00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:32,941

есть объекты, которые называются «марлоки»

00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:35,092

И когда взрослый человек

занимается сексом с ребенком,

00:14:35,127 --> 00:14:39,996

марлоки разрушаются, наполняя рецептивные полости

взрослого энергией, дающей бессмертие,

00:14:40,031 --> 00:14:41,501

как сказал правитель Бетоса

00:14:41,536 --> 00:14:45,997

Финиас путешествовал по миру,

и любил много-много-много детей

00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:51,929

...и жил очень-очень долго.

Пока его в 1892 году не задавил поезд.

00:14:52,568 --> 00:14:55,308

Вы понимаете, насколько тупо это звучит?

00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:57,597

Это случайно не тупее, чем идея того,

00:14:57,632 --> 00:14:59,966

что Бог послал своего сына умирать за наши грехи?

00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:03,569

Это не тупее, чем Будда,

просидевший под деревом 20 лет?

00:15:03,604 --> 00:15:06,170

Да. Это гораздо более тупее.

00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,696

Поскольку вы знаете секреты нашего клуба,

00:15:08,731 --> 00:15:12,143

похоже…вы не оставляете нам выбора.

00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,544

Боюсь, нам придется вас…

00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:17,249

…попросить уйти.

00:15:21,995 --> 00:15:24,274

Без Шефа мы не уйдем.

00:15:24,309 --> 00:15:28,327

Если вы решили остаться,

то, боюсь, нам тогда придется…

00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:32,072

…вызвать охрану и заставить вас уйти.

00:15:35,897 --> 00:15:37,927

Вас выведет охрана

00:15:37,962 --> 00:15:39,520

и это будет супер-позорно

00:15:39,555 --> 00:15:42,487

...и все на это будут смотреть!

Ха-ха-ха!!!

00:15:52,448 --> 00:15:56,800

Знаете, когда вы хотите, чтобы кто-то ушел, а он не уходит, это немного напрягает, да?

00:15:57,161 --> 00:15:59,011

Без Шефа мы никуда не уйдем.

00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:01,761

А вот крутые парни уходят до того,

как исчерпывают всё гостеприимство.

00:16:01,801 --> 00:16:06,181

Дерзкие глупцы!

00:16:06,211 --> 00:16:08,491

Вот нужно было до этого доводить, да?

00:16:08,531 --> 00:16:11,811

Вы не понимаете, с кем имеете дело.

00:16:11,841 --> 00:16:13,401

Охрана!

00:16:15,151 --> 00:16:18,021

Проводите мальчиков на выход.

00:16:18,051 --> 00:16:19,761

Ладно, дети, идемте.

00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:20,881

Нет! Эй!

00:16:20,911 --> 00:16:24,411

Смотрите! Их выводит охрана! Ха-ха!

00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,851

Вы не понимаете!

Там наш друг, он в Комнате Отречения!

00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:28,931

Это их дом, и они не хотят

00:16:28,961 --> 00:16:30,361

чтобы вы здесь находились.

00:16:33,401 --> 00:16:37,081

Прости, чувак, но мы не отдадим нашего друга

этому гадскому клубу!

00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:41,361

А секс с детьми-эскимосами

предполагает наличие определенных навыков.

00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,961

Шеф, идем!

- Дети!

00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:44,921

Убирайтесь отсюда!

00:16:44,951 --> 00:16:49,631

Кенни! Давай «яйцедав с подвыподвертом»!

- Идем, Шеф!

00:16:49,661 --> 00:16:52,481

Не могу…сломать эти кандалы!

00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,441

Вот!

00:16:56,281 --> 00:17:00,791

Что за…Не может быть!

00:17:00,831 --> 00:17:02,511

Я ведь их выгнал!

00:17:03,281 --> 00:17:03,731

На улицу!

00:17:03,741 --> 00:17:05,081

Остановите этих...

00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,371

Дети!

00:17:11,711 --> 00:17:13,081

Стой!

00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,501

Получилось!

00:17:15,531 --> 00:17:20,071

А не помнишь, почему именно ты уехал из Саут Парка?

00:17:22,631 --> 00:17:23,611

Шеф, идем!

00:17:23,641 --> 00:17:25,051

Ты искал приключений!

00:17:25,091 --> 00:17:27,201

А почему люди ищут приключений?

00:17:27,241 --> 00:17:30,581

Потому, что их жизнь становится

скучной и опустошенной!

00:17:30,621 --> 00:17:32,801

Да, ему нужны были приключения!

00:17:32,831 --> 00:17:34,701

А не эта хренова клоунада!

00:17:34,741 --> 00:17:39,141

Да, Шеф? Шеф?

00:17:39,171 --> 00:17:42,201

Не забудь, чему тебя учили, Шеф!

00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:46,101

Оставайся, и твоя жизнь будет

восхитительной и ВЕЧНОЙ!

00:17:47,351 --> 00:17:49,771

Шеф, мы тебя любим!

00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:55,171

Простите, дети!

00:17:55,211 --> 00:17:58,751

Нет! Шеф, тебе забили голову брехнёй!

00:17:58,791 --> 00:17:59,841

Ну как ты не поймешь!

00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,821

Убирайтесь ко всем чертям, дети!!

00:18:01,851 --> 00:18:06,921

Даааа. Похоже, наш гадский клуб

в конце-концов остался в порядке.

00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:23,331

Нет!

00:18:26,051 --> 00:18:28,071

Пума!

00:18:30,481 --> 00:18:32,371

Нельзя терять еще одного члена! Стреляйте в нее!

00:18:40,381 --> 00:18:41,451

Гризли!

00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:03,311

Боже мой…

00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,921

Они убили Шефа.

00:19:04,951 --> 00:19:09,261

Сволочи! СВОЛОЧИ!

00:19:09,291 --> 00:19:13,351

А жаль. Из него бы получился

отличный растлитель детей.

00:19:19,771 --> 00:19:21,241

А может…может, с ним все в порядке?

00:19:21,271 --> 00:19:24,561

Нет, правда. Ведь говорят, что последнее,

что делаешь перед смертью - ...

00:19:24,601 --> 00:19:25,761

...- это высираешь…

00:19:27,531 --> 00:19:29,761

А, неважно…

00:19:29,791 --> 00:19:31,981

Ладно, идем.

00:19:53,391 --> 00:19:55,341

Мы все собрались здесь, потому...

00:19:55,381 --> 00:19:57,581

...что Шеф был неотъемлемой частью нашей жизни.

00:19:57,621 --> 00:20:01,541

Многие из нас не одобряют выбор Шефа

00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:02,851

в последние несколько дней.

00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:08,241

Некоторые чувствуют боль и замешательство,

оттого, что он вроде бы повернулся к нам спиной.

00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:13,661

Но мы не можем позволить событиям последней недели

отнять воспоминаний о том, как Шеф вызывал у нас улыбку.

00:20:13,691 --> 00:20:16,801

Я буду помнить Шефа, как жизнерадостного старикана,...

00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:17,941

...который все сводит к песенке.

00:20:17,971 --> 00:20:19,571

Я буду помнить Шефа, как человека,

00:20:19,601 --> 00:20:22,341

дававшего нам советы жизненные советы.

00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:26,071

Так что понимаете,

мы не должны сердиться на Шефа за то,

00:20:26,111 --> 00:20:26,841

что он нас бросил.

00:20:26,871 --> 00:20:31,391

Мы должны сердиться на этот гадский клуб за то,

что они заморочили ему голову.

00:20:33,251 --> 00:20:36,491

Да!

Он прав!

00:20:36,531 --> 00:20:43,351

И заканчивая, я знаю, что где-то там…

есть хорошая частичка Шефа…

00:20:43,391 --> 00:20:45,131

что все еще живет во всех нас.

00:20:49,731 --> 00:20:52,471

Работает? Работает?

00:20:53,731 --> 00:20:55,551

Да. Есть пульс!

00:20:55,581 --> 00:20:57,331

Надеть на него ICU костюм, быстро!

00:20:58,251 --> 00:21:02,111

Мы закончили! Хорошо!

Поднимите его!

00:21:12,081 --> 00:21:16,771

Шеф, ты меня слышишь?

Скажи что-нибудь.

00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:20,171

Привет, детишки.

00:21:20,201 --> 00:21:25,081

Может, хотите бифштекса по-солсберийски?

00:21:25,111 --> 00:21:26,961

Да, продолжай.

00:21:27,281 --> 00:21:33,541

А на десерт, детишки, может, желаете отведать

шоколадных соленых яичек?

00:21:33,571 --> 00:21:37,081

Ты имеешь в виду шоколадные конфеты?

00:21:37,111 --> 00:21:40,271

Нет, мои яйца.

00:21:40,301 --> 00:21:44,841

Да, ДААА! Ха-ха-ха-ха!

00:21:45,281 --> 00:21:50,821

субтитры, перевод mulder

mulder@hotbox.ru

специально для http://southpark.org.ru

00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,349

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,561

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,271

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,605

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:21,731 --> 00:00:25,151

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,112

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:32,992

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,080

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,832

You guys! You guys!

00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,625

Chef is going away.

00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,295

Going away?

For how long?

00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,589

Forever.

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,966

I'm sorry, boys.

00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,385

STAN:

Chef said he's been bored,

00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,929

so he's joining a group

called the Super Adventure Club.

00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,514

Wow!

00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:58,100

Chef, what kind of questions

do you think

00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,978

adventuring around the world

is gonna answer?!

00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:04,190

What's the meaning of life?

Why are we here?

00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,358

I hope you're making

the right choice.

00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:07,943

I'm gonna miss him.

00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,237

I'm gonna miss Chef, and I --

00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:12,448

and I don't know

how to tell him!

00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,700

Dude, how are we gonna go on?

00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,536

Chef was our f-friend.

00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,705

And we will all miss you, Chef.

00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,583

But we know you must do

what your heart tells you.

00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:25,127

[ Music continues ]

00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,087

- Bye-bye!

- Goodbye!

00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,172

- So long, Chef!

- So long! Bye, Chef!

00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,423

Goodbye, Chef!

00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,884

Have a great time

with the Super Adventure Club!

00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,302

Goodbye.

00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,139

- See you later!

- Bye, Chef!

00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,308

[ Sobbing ]

00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:44,021

[ Music continues ]

00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:48,818

And now part two

of "Life Without Chef."

00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,695

Draw two cards, fat-ass.

00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,073

Reverse to you, Jew.

00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,450

- [ Doorbell rings ]

- I'll get it.

00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,494

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,371

Hello, there, children!

00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:01,747

He's back!

00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,707

- Yeah!

- Yeah! All right!

00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:06,335

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,254

Chef, I can't believe

you're back!

00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,797

Well, it's true.

00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,090

But are you back for good?!

00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,424

That's right.

00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:15,344

Hey, everybody, Chef's back!

00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,680

- All right! Yeah!

- Huh? Oh!

00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,223

Oh, finally!

00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,475

[All cheering ]

00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,519

[ Laughter ]

00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,020

That's great!

That's great!

00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,856

Wow. It seems like

you had a great time

00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,566

with the Super Adventure Club,

Chef.

00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,526

They sound like

really interesting people.

00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,735

Yeah.

00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:32,987

But now that you're back here,

00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,990

does that mean you're not in the

Super Adventure Club anymore?

00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:37,908

No, no!

00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,035

Oh, so have you decided

you can still belong

00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,328

to the Super Adventure Club

00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,414

but live here

in South Park again?

00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:44,790

That's right!

00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,667

Well, it seems like

the Super Adventure Club

00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:47,960

was just what you needed, Chef.

00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,587

You must be feeling very happy

00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,589

that you found a club

to belong to with new friends

00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,382

but that you can also

live here in South Park

00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,969

with all your old friends

whom you care for deeply, right?

00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,929

That's right!

Randy!

00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,891

Yeah. Yeah!

[ Laughter ]

00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,101

Well, Chef, you're welcome

to stay here with me

00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,644

until you buy another house.

00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,647

Thank you.

Jimbo.

00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,690

Well, come on, everybody.

00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,067

I'm sure Chef would like

a little time to get moved in.

00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,861

That's right!

Thank you!

00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,654

Goodbye!

Everybody!

00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,072

- Later!

- Great to have you back!

00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,449

- Bye-bye!

- See you, Chef!

00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,367

See you later, Chef!

Bye!

00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:23,329

Well, I guess we'll see you

in school tomorrow, Chef.

00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,623

You bet.

Goodbye!

00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,917

Children!

00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,127

Right.

00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,338

Uh, see ya.

00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,924

Uh, guys...

00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,385

did Chef seem a little,

uh, trippy to you?

00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,307

Well, look.

He said he's happier now.

00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,059

Maybe he just needs to rest up

a little.

00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,311

Yeah, I'm sure whatever

that Super Adventure Club does

00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,063

- is pretty tiring.

- Yeah. Look, whatever.

00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,397

I'm just glad he's back

for good.

00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,857

Mrph rm rph.

00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,901

[ Bell rings ]

00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,069

It's really weird what he said.

00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,487

I don't know.

It kind of confused me.

00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,488

Oh, boy!

Oh, boy!

00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,782

I can't wait to have

Chef's lunch food again!

00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,951

Yeah. I hope he makes

his Salisbury steak

00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:02,868

with buttered noodles!

00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,912

- You guys, you guys!

- What?

00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,538

Something's wrong with Chef.

00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,749

He's saying

some really weird stuff.

00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,417

Like what?

00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,963

I think -- I think

he wants to have sex with me.

00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,464

What?

00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,049

I got to -- I got to go.

00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,511

Weirdo.

00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,346

Hello, there, children!

00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,472

- Hey, Chef!

- Mrph rm!

00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,224

- How's it going?

- Good.

00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,393

Well, how about I meet you boys

after work, and we...

00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,561

♪ Make love ♪

00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,731

Excuse me?

00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,857

Come on, children.

00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,068

You're my sexual fantasy.

00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:39,405

Let's all make sweet love.

00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,284

Chef, a-are you okay?

00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:45,411

♪ I want to stick my balls ♪

00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,955

Inside your rectum.

Kyle.

00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,166

Dude, what are you saying?

00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,835

♪ I'm gonna make love to ♪

00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,212

Your asshole, children.

00:04:57,715 --> 00:04:58,757

What?!

00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:02,094

Hi, kids.

I'm Detective Jarvis.

00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,888

Uh, I need to ask you all

some difficult questions

00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:07,474

about your school

cafeteria chef.

00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,101

This doesn't make any sense!

00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,687

We have some information

that all this time,

00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:15,065

Chef has been, and still is,

a pedophile.

00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,900

No, he's not.

00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,652

Uh-huh.

00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,571

No, he's not.

00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,656

Yeah.

Yeah, he is so.

00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,241

What's a pedal file?

00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:27,453

Now, we need some testimony

in order to arrest Chef,

00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:31,040

so I'm gonna use this doll

to ask you kids a few questions.

00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,877

Did Chef ever touch any of you

here?

00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:35,836

No!

00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,172

Okay.

Did he touch you here?

00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,089

ALL:

No!

00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,633

Did he ever do this?

00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,843

How about this?

00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,219

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,472

My Uncle Bud

did that to me once!

00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:50,351

Did Chef ever try

one of these on for size?

00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,853

God damn it!

Chef isn't like that!

00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,396

Something funny is going on

here!

00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,523

Young man,

will you please pay attention?

00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,275

This is very important stuff!

00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,445

Oh!

Ooh.

00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,655

[ Bell rings ]

00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,914

Hello, there, children!

00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:16,335

Chef, the police are asking

questions about you.

00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,336

Oh, really?

00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,171

Well, let's all go home and...

00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,422

♪ Make love ♪

00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,883

No, Chef, we don't

want to make love to you.

00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,428

Kenny, how would you like

to sodomize my black ass?!

00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,596

Chef! Chef!

00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,764

You need to get out of here

00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,474

before you get arrested,

all right?!

00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,644

I specializes in your asshole,

Kyle.

00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,689

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,900

Man, I can't believe

all this time

00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,902

Chef just wanted us for sex.

00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,946

He didn't want us for sex,

fat-ass!

00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,781

Something is making him

say those things.

00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:46,907

Mrph rm?

00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,159

Something must have happened

to Chef while he was gone.

00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,202

Maybe he hit his head

00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,538

or got stuck in some

quantum time vortex.

00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,248

Look, he spent

the last three months

00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,332

with that adventurers' club.

00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,875

Maybe they know

what happened to him.

00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,963

Mrph! Rmhmhm rm mrph

rphmrmhmhm rm rmphmhm rm!

00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:01,797

Yeah!

00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,507

All right!

Come on, guys!

00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,427

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:09,930

[ Bird calling ]

00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,185

Hey, guys. You know what they

call a Jewish woman's boobs?

00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,311

Joobs.

00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,689

[ Rope creaking ]

00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,026

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,195

May I help you?

00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,532

Uh, hi. Can we speak

to the head guy or something?

00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,075

Right this way.

00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,872

Now, the upper rim

of Kilimanjaro

00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,374

should be quite a trek,

and so we'll need to have a --

00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,584

Excuse me, sir.

00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,711

These boys wanted to speak

with you.

00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,297

Ah, yes! Splendid!

Good afternoon, lads!

00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:46,300

I'm head adventurer

William P. Connelly, Esquire.

00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,343

Welcome to

the Super Adventure Club!

00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,261

- Jolly-o!

- Cheers!

00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,304

- Hello!

- Indeed!

00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:51,930

Uh, hi.

00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,765

Our friend joined your club

a while back,

00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:56,185

and now he wants to molest kids.

00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,937

What?

00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,023

Well -- Well, yes, of course!

00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,358

That's what

the Super Adventure Club does!

00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,693

Huh?

00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,237

We travel the world

and have sex with children.

00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406

Yes.

What else would we do?

00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,909

Well, we thought

you went exploring

00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:13,494

and, like, hunting and stuff.

00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,496

No, no.

That's the Adventure Club.

00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:17,080

We're the Super Adventure Club.

00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:21,001

Next week, we will be heading to

the outer banks of the Amazon,

00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,294

where we will make camp

00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,796

and have sex with children

of the Ugani tribe.

00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,840

Then it's off

to the mighty Himalayas,

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,217

where we will climb K2

00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,844

and molest several Tibetan

children on the east summit.

00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,262

Dude!

00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,931

I know!

But it gets even better!

00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,433

From there, we will kayak

to the fruitful banks

00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,809

of the Mili River in Africa,

00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:40,812

where the secret and mysterious

Hanini people have children

00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,524

who have never seen

a white man's erect penis.

00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,734

Of course, we're always looking

for kids to have sex with

00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,361

on the plane rides

over to these places.

00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:50,739

So how would you all like to

join the Super Adventure Club?!

00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,449

No!

00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,076

No?

00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,494

Oh, really?

00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,622

Perhaps I should ask you again.

00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,499

[ Whistles ]

00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,335

How would you like to join

the Super Adventure Club?

00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,087

[ Whistles ]

00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,880

No.

00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,425

[ Whistles ]

00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,802

Dude, what are you doing?

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,221

Oh, well.

It doesn't work on everybody.

00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,639

Well, so long, then.

00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,015

Just what the hell

is that thing?!

00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,184

What? What thing?

I don't see anything.

00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,812

- Ha! I knew it!

- Knew what?

00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:24,565

The reason Chef has been saying

those terrible things about us

00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:28,652

is because he's been brainwashed

by this fruity little club!

00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,780

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,825

Oh, son of a bitch!

00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,122

Come on, children.

00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:40,998

Let's all go home and...

00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,374

♪ Make love ♪

00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,001

You need to see a psychiatrist,

Chef.

00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,002

It's for your own good.

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,044

I'd just like to...

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:46,878

♪ Make love ♪

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,046

Up your butt.

00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,423

Oh, my God!

00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,049

Mr. Chef, is it?

00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,759

All right.

Come on.

00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,265

Hello. I'm Dr. Neeland.

What can I do for you today?

00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,267

Hi. Our friend

has been brainwashed

00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,686

by some fruity little club.

00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187

Brainwashed?

00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,106

Yeah, he joined

the Super Adventure Club,

00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:08,483

and they convinced him

having sex with kids was okay

00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,360

with a little thing

that goes: [makes whistling noise].

00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,863

I thought that club

was for hiking and kayaking.

00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,114

No, that's the Adventure Club.

00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,074

The Super Adventure Club

has sex with children.

00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,326

Oh.

00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,910

Oh!

That's right. Yeah.

00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,456

Doctor, do you have...children?

00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,791

Why, yes.

I have two young boys.

00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:28,128

Have y'all been sodomizing

your childrens, too?!

00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,589

You say he's never

been like this before?

00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,299

No.

Chef has always been super cool.

00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,134

♪ I'm gonna make love to ♪

00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,261

The children.

00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,013

He's pretty brainwashed,

all right.

00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,348

Worst case I've ever seen.

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,390

So what can we do?

00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,225

I'm afraid

there's no simple answer.

00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,103

When somebody is brainwashed,

it can take months, even years,

00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,271

to reverse the process.

00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,939

But we don't have years!

00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:50,275

If Chef keeps this up,

he's gonna go to jail forever!

00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,861

Tell me -- What was Chef's

favorite thing to do

00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,238

before it was having sex

with children?

00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,615

Having sex with women.

00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,658

Then that's it!

00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,702

We'd better get your friend to

the Peppermint Hippo right away.

00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,873

[ Rock music playing,

crowd cheering ]

00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,500

All right, guys.

Be sure to tip your waitresses.

00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:07,501

This is a two-for-one.

00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:10,337

Put your hands together.

This is Monica.

00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,175

Aw, come on, children.

Let's go home.

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,385

This isn't working.

00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,804

Well, let's give it

some more time, kids.

00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,848

[ Hoarsely ]

Would you like a dance?

00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,434

No, thanks. We're trying

to un-brainwash our friend.

00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,228

Dance?

00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,772

Anybody want a dance?

00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,943

Come on, bitch.

Dance.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,319

Up yours, fatty.

00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,612

Bitch, I'll twist your nuts off.

00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,114

All right, guys.

How we feeling out there?

00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:38,657

We got a featured dancer

coming up next.

00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,911

Put your hands together

for Spantaneous Bootay.

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,580

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,544

Come on, guys.

We might as well go.

00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,799

God damn!

00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:56,925

Chef, we're leaving.

00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,177

No, no. Wait.

Let him go.

00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,931

[ Music continues ]

00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,684

Come here, sugar.

00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,313

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,359

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,740

Wait a minute.

00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,241

He's remembering!

00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,869

Children, what have I done?

00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,704

It's okay, Chef.

Go on. Remember!

00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,581

♪ I'm gonna -- I'm gonna -- ♪

00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,000

Come on, Chef.

You can do it!

00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:34,212

♪ I'm gonna make love to you,

woman ♪

00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,424

♪ Gonna lay you down

by the fire ♪

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,593

- Yay!

- Mrph rm!

00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,804

Hey, children, everybody!

I'm back!

00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,890

Ow!

00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,143

Great shot, William.

Hit him with another.

00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,686

Oh!

00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:52,397

- Chef!

- Mrph!

00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,941

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,693

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,695

Tally-ho, lads!

00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,489

I must say

you're starting to become

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,741

quite a thorn in my balls.

00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,117

Where's Chef?

What have you done with him?

00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,077

He's safe.

00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,371

He's fasting

in the deprivation room

00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:10,791

and being read

the Super Adventure Club manual.

00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:13,168

We've got to undo the damage

you've done.

00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,879

Look, if you want to go around

the world molesting kids,

00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,298

that's totally fine,

but why do you need Chef?

00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,967

We don't need him.

He needs us!

00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,220

Our club offers hope.

00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,764

You think we go around the world

molesting children

00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,725

just because it feels really,

really, really, really good?

00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:29,726

No!

00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,353

Our club has a message

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,314

and a secret that explains

the mysteries of life.

00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,149

Oh, Jesus.

Here we go.

00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,400

Very well.

00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,361

I'm now going to tell you

the secret

00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,779

of the Super Adventure Club.

00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,030

We don't want to hear it.

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,491

You see, the Super

Adventure Club was founded

00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,286

by the greatest explorer of

all time, William P. Phineas!

00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,664

Phineas climbed

the highest peaks,

00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,499

tamed the mightiest rivers!

00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,167

But every time he got somewhere,

00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,379

he realized that other explorers

had beat him to it.

00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,422

Phineas was depressed

until he realized

00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,133

that if he couldn't be

the first to discover places,

00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:05,136

he could be the first to have

sex with the native children

00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,805

that inhabited those areas!

00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:10,016

Phineas quickly went down in

history books as the first man

00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,936

to have sex with

the aborigine children at Uluru

00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,771

and the first explorer to bugger

00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,232

all the underage mountain folk

of Nepal!

00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,860

But now

the most wonderful part.

00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,195

You see, after having sex

with all those children,

00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,282

Phineas realized that molesting

all those kids

00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,617

had made him immortal.

00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,743

Immortal?

00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,412

CONNELLY:

He discovered that children

00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,622

have things called marlocs

in their bodies.

00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,833

And when an adult has sex

with a child,

00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,419

the marlocs implode, feeding

the adult's receptor cavity

00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,588

with energy that causes

immortality.

00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,631

So sayeth the ruler of Bethos.

00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:45,760

Phineas traveled the world,

loving many, many children.

00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,263

And he lived for eternity,

00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,850

until he was hit by a train

in 1892.

00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,395

Do you realize how retarded

that sounds?

00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,479

Is it any more retarded

00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:59,524

than the idea of God sending

His son to die for our sins?

00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,234

Is it any more retarded

than Buddha

00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,278

sitting beneath a tree

for 20 years?!

00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,947

Yeah.

It's way, way more retarded.

00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,159

Well, now that you know

our club's secrets...

00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,703

it appears you leave us

no choice.

00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,332

I'm afraid we're going to

have to...

00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,083

ask you to leave.

00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,836

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,341

We're not leaving without Chef.

00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,092

If you choose not to leave,

00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,803

then I'm afraid we're

just going to have to...

00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,598

call security

and make you leave.

00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,559

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,187

You'll be led out by security,

00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,605

and it will be

super embarrassing,

00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,190

and everyone here will see.

00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,400

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,240

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,993

[ Bird calling ]

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,287

You know how, like,

when you want people to leave,

00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:56,790

but they won't leave,

it's really frustrating?

00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,875

We're not going anywhere

without Chef!

00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,586

Cool people leave before they've

overstayed their welcome.

00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,091

You petulant fools!

00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,426

You just had to push it,

didn't you?

00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,846

You don't realize

who you're dealing with here.

00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,390

Security!

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,186

Take these boys to the door.

00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,729

All right.

Come on, kids.

00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,064

No! Hey!

00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,567

Ha ha! Look, they're being

led out by security! Ha ha!

00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:25,860

No.

You don't understand.

00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,154

They've got our friend

in a deprivation room!

00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,782

This is their house,

and they don't want you here.

00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,451

- [ Grunts ]

- Aah!

00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,286

Sorry, dude,

but this fruity little club

00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,372

isn't taking our friend!

00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,334

And sex with Eskimo children

requires some special skill.

00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:42,961

Chef, come on!

00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,963

Children!

- Get out of here!

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,257

Kenny, spin blossom nut squash!

00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,883

Mrph!

- Ow!

00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:49,926

Come on, Chef!

00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,220

I can't break these locks.

00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,555

Here!

00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,850

Come on, Chef!

00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,435

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,895

What the -- Impossible!

00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,772

I made them leave!

00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,274

Get outside!

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,900

Stop them!

00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,987

- [ Screaming ]

- Children, run!

00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,450

Stop!

00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:15,785

We made it!

00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:20,206

Don't you remember why you left

South Park in the first place?

00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,584

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,919

- Chef, come on!

- You sought adventure!

00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,547

And why do people seek

adventure?

00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:31,176

Because their lives

have become dull and empty!

00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,844

Yeah, he wanted adventure,

00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:36,097

not a bunch of ridiculous

bullcrap, right, Chef?!

00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,392

Chef?

00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,437

Don't forget

all your training, Chef.

00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,983

Stay with us, and your life

will be grand and eternal!

00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:50,028

Chef...we love you.

00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:55,408

I'm sorry, children.

00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,661

No! Chef! They've filled

your head with lies.

00:17:58,787 --> 00:17:59,829

Can't you see that?

00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:02,082

Get the hell out of here,

children!

00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,291

Yes.

00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,628

Looks like our fruity

little club is safe after all.

00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,671

[ Thunder crashes ]

00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,131

Aah!

00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,216

No!

00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:13,635

- Chef!

- Chef!

00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,346

Aah!

00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,597

[ Grunts ]

00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,724

Ow! Oh!

Aah!

00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,934

Oh!

Damn it!

00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,644

[ Grunts ]

Oh!

00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,561

No!

00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,979

[ Coughs ]

00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:27,023

[ Mountain lion roars ]

00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,066

A mountain lion!

00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,068

[ Screaming ]

00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,904

We can't lose another member!

Shoot it!

00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,239

Aah!

00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,366

I right missed!

00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:37,951

Aah!

00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,036

- Chef!

- [ Bear growling ]

00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,287

A grizzly bear!

00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:57,262

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey.

00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,518

Oh, my God.

00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,270

They killed Chef.

00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,938

You bastards!

00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,315

You bastards!

00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,692

Pity.

00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,528

He would have made

an excellent child molester.

00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,781

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,578

Maybe -- Maybe he's still okay.

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,745

No.

Really!

00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,998

They say the last thing you do

before you die is crap your --

00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,458

[ Farts ]

00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,044

Oh, never mind.

00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,338

Come on.

Let's go.

00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,552

[ Music continues ]

00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:54,736

We're all here today

00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,906

because Chef has been such

an important part of our lives.

00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,743

A lot of us don't agree

with the choices Chef has made

00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,286

in the past few days.

00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,289

Some of us feel hurt

and confused

00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,291

that he seemed to turn his back

on us.

00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,044

But we can't let the events

of the last week

00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:14,339

take away the memories

of how much Chef made us smile.

00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,633

I'm gonna remember Chef

as the jolly old guy

00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,051

who always broke into song.

00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,220

I'm gonna remember Chef

00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,472

as the guy who gave us advice

to live by.

00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:27,518

So, you see, we shouldn't be

mad at Chef for leaving us.

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,604

We should be mad

at that fruity little club

00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,690

for scrambling his brains.

00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,692

- [ Music continues ]

- Yeah.

00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,069

He's right.

00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,075

And in the end,

I know that somewhere out there,

00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,703

there's the good part of Chef

that's still alive in us all.

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,458

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,418

Is it working?

Is it working?!

00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,795

[ Electricity crackles ]

00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,296

Yes.

We've got a pulse!

00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,257

Get him in the ICU suit!

Hurry!

00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:58,591

[ Whirring ]

00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,511

That's done it! Good!

Raise him up!

00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,180

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,438

[ Mechanical breathing ]

00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,400

Chef, can you hear me?

00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:16,943

Say something.

00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:20,154

[ Mechanically ]

Hello, there, children.

00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:25,159

How would you like

some Salisbury steak?

00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,744

Yes. Go on.

00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,788

And for dessert,

00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,665

how would you children like

to suck

00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,085

on my chocolate salty balls?

00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,213

Oh.

You mean like a chocolate candy?

00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,383

No.

I mean my balls.

00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:41,592

Yes!

00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,012

Yes!

[ Laughs evilly ]