Следи за яйцом! — Узнав, что мистер Мазохист и большой Эл-гомосек собираются пожениться, миссис Гаррисон клянётся добиться запрета однополых браков. Для этого она пытается использовать результаты школьного задания.

Предыдущая серия S09 E09 Марджорин

Следующая серия S09 E11 Рыжие дети

Следи за яйцом!

Follow That Egg

Сезон: 09Серия: 10

Описание

Узнав, что мистер Мазохист и большой Эл-гомосек собираются пожениться, миссис Гаррисон клянётся добиться запрета однополых браков. Для этого она пытается использовать результаты школьного задания.

Субтитры

00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:12,430 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,098 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,683 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,894 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,481 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:25,484 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,988 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:33,325 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,246 Okay, children.
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,249 This week we are all going to learn about...
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,418 parenting.
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:46,213 I'm gonna pair all the boys and girls in class into couples
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,050 and give each couple...an egg.
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,761 You must care for and look after this egg
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,513 just like a baby for one full week.
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:58,851 If you break your egg, it means you have a dead baby.
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,854 And if you kill your baby, you get an "F."
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,481 When I announce your names,
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,900 please move and sit with the person you're paired with.
00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:08,486 Heidi, you'll be with Eric.
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,403 Aw!
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,864 Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy.
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:12,865 Timmy!
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:15,117 Millie, your husband is Craig. Powder...
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,453 Oh, no, dude. He's gonna put me with Wendy.
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,287 Mrph?
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,664 So I haven't even spoken to Wendy since we broke up.
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:25,211 And, Wendy... Wendy will be with Kyle.
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:26,629 Kyle?
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,547 Bebe, you're paired up with Stan.
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:31,175 Lola and Token. Red and Craig.
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,302 And Esther and Bradley.
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,430 Now, I'm going to sign each of your eggs myself
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,224 so that we'll know it's the same one
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:39,600 at the end of the week.
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,686 That way if anybody cheats and tries to replace their eggs,
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,772 we'll know...Eric.
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,899 All you have to do is make it to Friday
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,109 with your egg unharmed
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:51,070 to prove what great little parents you are.
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:51,987 Okay, children.
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,614 You can take the rest of the school period
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,366 to decorate your egg however you wish.
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:56,951 Good luck, and remember --
00:01:57,076 --> 00:02:00,913 A dead baby means an "F" for the parents.
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,505 ♪ Just look at all these little families ♪
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,759 ♪ Newfound couples in a happy home ♪
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,762 ♪ It takes me back to another time ♪
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,307 ♪ When I had a love of my own ♪
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,394 ♪ Love -- Love lost long ago ♪
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,187 ♪ It was special then ♪
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,314 ♪ It's over now ♪
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:30,442 ♪ Love -- So darned frail, you know ♪
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:31,986 ♪ It shriveled and dried ♪
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,946 ♪ I don't know how ♪
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,042 ♪ Love -- Love lost long ago ♪
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,711 ♪ It was special then ♪
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,462 ♪ It's over now ♪
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:55,301 ♪ Guess that I'll never know how it all went wrong ♪
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,469 ♪ How? How? How? ♪
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:02,099 ♪ But perhaps I should try to boldly go ♪
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:06,896 ♪ And rekindle that love lost long ago ♪
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:15,654 Hello, Mr. Slave.
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,824 Mr. Garrison! Oh, Jesus!
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,869 Just let me say what I came here to say.
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,662 I know we had a falling-out,
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:27,708 and things were said that shouldn't have been said.
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:31,503 I want to apologize for calling you a faggot.
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,257 That's -- That's wonderful, Mr. Garrison.
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,801 Well, wait, wait. It gets better.
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,304 I've forgiven you for walking out on me
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,973 after I had my sex change, and --
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,893 and I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave!
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,895 Ooh.
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,897 Well, give us a kiss!
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:53,192 Slave, honey, is that the pizza?
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,909 What the hell is he doing here?!
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,369 Mr. Garrison,
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:06,288 Al and I have been living together for a few months.
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,916 Well, that didn't take you long, did it?!
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:11,085 Slave, should I leave you two alone?
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:11,919 Yes!
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,087 No!
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:16,423 Mr. Garrison, there's something you should know.
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,884 Al and I are getting married.
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,095 Married?!
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,388 Yes.
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:25,683 You can't get married! You're faggots!
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,851 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,354 Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now.
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,731 If you want to get married, you have to marry me!
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,857 Oh, that's not true.
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:37,569 Colorado is about to pass a bill which allows same-sex marriage.
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:38,654 We're getting married
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,864 right after the bill passes on Saturday.
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,574 Oh, that's just great.
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,286 They're gonna let queers and homos get married, huh?
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,037 Okay. That's enough.
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,622 Out, Mr. Garrison.
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,417 We'll just see about this, you fudge-packing fags!
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,627 I'll stop that gay-marriage law.
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:56,964 Oh, my God! You're just saying that because you're jealous!
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,465 Jealous of what?
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,092 I'm doing this out of principle --
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,386 to protect the sanctity of marriage!
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,514 Fags are gettin' married over my dead body!
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,322 Hello? Oh, hey, dude.
00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,991 So...what are you and Wendy doing?
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,535 We're just making a cradle out of an egg carton for our egg.
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,370 We figured that way it'll be easier to keep safe
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,205 - so we can get an "A." - Uh-huh.
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,041 I don't think it's gonna be that hard to keep it from breaking.
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,250 This whole assignment is stupid.
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,918 Yeah. Well, so is your hat.
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,387 Stan, I need you to watch the egg for a while.
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,388 I can't. I'm busy.
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,806 I've been looking after it all day.
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,767 I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store.
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,393 So take it with you.
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,394 Stan, this is <i>our</i> egg!
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,896 We're both supposed to take care of it.
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,066 Maybe I didn't want to have an egg with you, okay, Bebe?
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,860 Well, whether you wanted to or not doesn't really matter now.
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,487 We're going to get graded together.
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,613 It's your egg, too.
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,741 Own up to your responsibilities!
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:14,666 ♪ This is it ♪
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,210 ♪ This is it ♪
00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:17,378 ♪ This is life ♪
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,254 These homosexuals think
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:22,007 they can just step all over our traditions.
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,135 Well, I say marriage is a holy sacrament
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,388 between a man and a woman!
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,766 Who <i>is</i> that lady?
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,851 I don't know, but she is pissed!
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,354 They passed this law behind our backs!
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,898 We need to tell the governor and the world
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,817 that gay marriage is not okay,
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,694 that homosexuals cannot muddy our traditions.
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,823 And there is only one way for us, all together,
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,950 to make that message very clear --
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,452 We need to round up three or four queers
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,414 and beat the living hell out of 'em!
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:55,999 Come on, everybody!
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,127 Let's get some queers and some trucks
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,213 and have us a good old-fashioned fag drag!
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,634 Well, uh, we were thinking we would, you know,
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,803 just go appeal to the governor.
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,471 Appeal to the governor?
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,348 Oh, come on! Where's your balls?!
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,558 Fag drag!
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:14,435 We don't hate homosexuals.
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,563 We -- We just don't want them to able to marry.
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,981 We were just thinking
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,526 of going and asking the governor to veto the bill.
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:23,652 Yeah.
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,489 F-Fag drag?
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,911 Governor, we have collected over 1,000 signatures
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:36,373 requesting that you veto this gay-marriage bill.
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,750 Oh, geez. I knew this would happen.
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:41,378 First, the gay people come in here wanting equal rights.
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,754 Then this bill gets passed,
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,091 and now all the people against it want me to veto it.
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,260 Why do I have to make this decision?!
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430 Because you're the governor?
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,057 I just wanted a big house and lots of respect!
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,935 I didn't want this kind of responsibility!
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,897 I mean, I don't know anything about gay marriage.
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:03,025 What argument can I use to deny them their right to a family?
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,651 Well, think of the children.
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,278 If you allow gays to get married,
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:09,239 then you're also giving them full rights as parents to adopt.
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,783 You think kids can be raised by queers?
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,243 I can't use that argument.
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,455 There's never been a study done which proves that either way.
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,667 But...if you had such a study --
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:24,087 a scientific study which proved same-sex couples
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:26,381 are incapable of raising a child...
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,425 Then I would have something to fall back on,
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,677 s-something to take all the pressure off of me.
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:35,724 Mr. Governor... I will get you that study.
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,937 Hey, Wendy. How's your egg doing?
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,189 Oh, great. It's a pretty easy project.
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,815 Kyle's really good with the egg.
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,069 Yeah. I wish I had a partner like Kyle.
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,154 I went to go pick up the egg from Stan yesterday,
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,739 and his dog had it in its mouth.
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,033 Our egg isn't gonna last a week with Stan around.
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,411 Okay, students! Change of plan!
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,205 You've all been doing a great job
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,289 taking care of your eggs,
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,583 but now we're gonna mix it up a little.
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,586 Wendy and Kyle will no longer be together.
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,879 Ha!
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,005 Let's see what happens
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,716 when we put two same-sex couples together
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,260 to take care of an egg, shall we?
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,930 Kyle, you are now with Stan, and Wendy is with Bebe.
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:16,682 Why?
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,225 Come on, Bebe.
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,519 We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after.
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:21,603 Oh, goody!
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,356 We'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for.
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,899 No! No. That's <i>my</i> egg.
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,943 Wendy, we're doing an experiment.
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,820 Here you go, boys.
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:32,114 But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please.
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,283 Y-You can't give my egg to Stan. He'll break it.
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,160 Oh, now, what makes you say that, Wendy?
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:40,831 I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine.
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,458 And if not... we'll certainly prove a point
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,295 to that goddamn governor, won't we?
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,170 Who?
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:50,215 Never mind. Just carry on, children.
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:54,511 Just carry on as two reckless little boys will.
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,558 Okay. There.
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,226 Now we can carry our egg around in this case
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,394 without it getting cracked.
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,438 Give it to me. I'll take it home tonight.
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,898 Look, Stan, you want me to just take care of this egg?
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,066 Why do you say that?
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,652 It's just that I really need this "A," Stan.
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,530 And Bebe did say you almost broke your last egg.
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,198 That's because I was pissed off!
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:16,992 At who?
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,619 Hang on.
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:21,997 I want to see my egg.
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:22,914 Huh?
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,334 I want to see my egg.
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,753 Wendy, it isn't your egg anymore.
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:30,297 Yes, it is. I made it. I decorated it.
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,465 Well, you might have made it,
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,342 but we're the ones who are taking care of it now.
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,010 You have your own egg to look out for.
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,638 I just want to hold my egg for a couple minutes.
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,222 Wendy, I just want to get an "A," okay?
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,683 Let's not make this any more confusing than it already is.
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:47,064 Don't let anything happen to it -- please.
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,440 Wendy, nothing's gonna happen to the egg.
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,360 You can have it when the week is over and I get my grade.
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,696 Freakin' weirdos, man.
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,531 You think you're so great, don't you?
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,950 Well, guess what. Maybe I don't need your help.
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,369 I'm taking the egg home tonight,
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,745 and I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,623 that I'm every bit as good a egg take-care-of-er as you!
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,670 What the hell is wrong with everybody?
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,674 Okay, children. It's Wednesday.
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,759 Time for an official egg check.
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,010 Heidi and Eric?
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,178 Our egg is fine.
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,763 Okay. Annie and Timmy?
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,056 Timmy!
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,140 Good.
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,309 Millie and Clyde, I saw yours before class.
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,520 - Powder and Kenny? - Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:30,107 Now how about our gay couple, Stan and Kyle?
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,525 Fine.
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:32,901 What?
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,528 No problems at all.
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,321 That's impossible!
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,616 Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:40,826 Where's my signature?
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,619 It's -- It's right there. See?
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,789 Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg!
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,165 Dude, it's totally fine.
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,417 It isn't fine!
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,961 It has two daddies! You call that fine?!
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:52,629 It may be fine on the outside,
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,798 but inside it's confused and embarrassed!
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,718 Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies!
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:00,303 ♪ Two daddies! Two daddies! ♪
00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,639 Come on, class! Let's rip on the freak egg!
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,434 ♪ Two daddies! Two daddies! ♪
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,270 Tom, I'm standing outside the governor's office,
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606 where, in just two days, the governor can either sign or veto
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,692 the new bill allowing gay marriage.
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,527 Same-sex couples from all over the state
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:16,737 have shown up in support,
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:19,072 while dissenters have also converged.
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,533 The governor is about to give a statement.
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,619 I believe that I might have come up with a compromise
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,247 to this whole problem that will make everyone happy.
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,249 People in the gay community
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,293 want the same rights as married couples,
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,713 but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted.
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,007 So how about we let gay people get married
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,134 but call it something else?
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,889 You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,140 as married couples.
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,477 But instead of referring to you as married,
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,772 you can be butt buddies.
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:58,028 Instead of being "man and wife," you'll be "butt buddies."
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,781 You won't be "betrothed."
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:03,283 You'll be "butt buddies."
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,409 Get it?
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:09,289 Instead of a bride and groom, you'd be butt buddies.
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,416 We want to be treated equally!
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,542 You are equal.
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,253 It's just that instead of getting engaged,
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,964 you would be butt buddies.
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,133 And everyone is happy.
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,885 Well, what about lesbians?
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,471 Well, like anyone cares about fucking dykes.
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:31,686 Oh, God. I was sure that would work.
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,730 Damn it, damn it!
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,274 Stan and Kyle's egg is still doing fine.
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,735 Those little assholes are screwing up my whole plan.
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,112 Yes? What?!
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,745 What the hell is this?
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,121 I broke the egg.
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,498 You broke your egg?!
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,250 But you're partnered with a girl!
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,584 I tried to cover it up --
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,419 tried to put it back together with modeling glue,
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,421 tried to seal it with a soldering gun -- but I give up.
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,049 I can't hide it. I broke the egg.
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,343 Did you tell anyone else about this?
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,719 No.
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,721 Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi?
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,223 No. That's why I'm here.
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,725 I think you should still give Heidi an "A" on the project.
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,061 You see, I broke the egg, not her.
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,022 And so I should get an "F" and she should get an "A,"
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,858 which means together the grade should average out
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,568 to a C-minus for both of us.
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,403 I can't do that, Eric.
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,904 Damn it! I knew you'd say that!
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,406 You always have it out for me!
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,866 You have to get an "A," Eric.
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,909 Here. I'll sign this new egg for you.
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,537 And we'll pretend this never happened, all right?
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123 Just put on the old hair, color in the same eyes.
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:34,666 There we go. Good as new.
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,377 Now go enjoy the rest of your recess.
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,715 Mr. Garrison...
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,342 you've never been this cool to me before.
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,635 Okay. Well, you're welcome, Eric.
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,470 Now just run along.
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,932 Why are you doing this?
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,269 Because I'm a nice teacher, all right?
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,437 What do you want from me?
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,938 Nothing! It's all okay!
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,065 Just take your damn egg!
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:01,735 No.
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,112 Eric, you've never been anything but a problem for me.
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,323 You're taking that egg, and if you break it again,
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,617 I'll break both your legs and burn down your house!
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,452 - Do you hear me?! - Yes, teacher.
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,038 Now get out of my face!
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,626 Ugh, this scientific study isn't turning out the way I planned!
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:21,254 Looks like I'm gonna have to...intervene.
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,179 Are you Jakartha?
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,847 Who the hell are you?
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:31,973 Mrs. Garrison.
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,809 I spoke to your associates on the telephone.
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,977 Ah, yes.
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:39,230 You are interested in my services.
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:43,151 I have a little problem I need taken care of.
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,736 I heard you're the best.
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:48,323 Who do you want me to kill?
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,206 What is this?
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,124 It's an egg.
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,377 You want me to kill an egg?
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,878 I can pay $2,000 now,
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,672 $3,000 more when the job is finished.
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,216 What do you expect me to do with it?
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,885 I don't care -- scramble it, fry it -- do what you will.
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:13,223 It has to look like an accident.
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,891 I am a serious assassin.
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,394 Get out of my face!
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,814 What's the matter? You afraid you can't do it?
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,232 Can't say that I blame you.
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:25,151 That egg has caused me nothing but problems since day one.
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:29,614 I guess you're not as good as they say you are.
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:33,034 I am the greatest killer the world has ever seen.
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,578 Then why are you scared of one little egg?
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:36,997 I will murder that egg,
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,666 and I will make it curse the day it was laid!
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,793 That's more like it.
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,049 Day five. I made it.
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:49,884 Hello?
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,886 - Did you hear what's happening? - What?
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,471 Garrison is taking us on a field trip today.
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,806 He wants to do the final egg check
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,266 in front of the governor's office.
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,475 The governor's office?
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,269 He's really taking this grade seriously, Stan.
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,230 I'm gonna come over so we can take our egg to school together.
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,940 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,775 I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you.
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,819 Okay, Stan. You've been an asshole to me all week.
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:08,987 - What is up? - What's up?
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,406 Oh, nothing, except you've been trying to impress Wendy all week
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,824 like a pathetic dickhole!
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,867 Impress Wendy?
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,952 You've set it up to look like you're this awesome prince
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:16,995 and I'm just a loser.
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,455 What the hell are you talking about?
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,957 Well, guess what. I'm gonna take this egg to class myself.
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,084 And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy and say, "see?
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,712 I'm every bit as good as Kyle is."
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,717 Almost too easy.
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,971 Stan?
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,108 Stan?
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,526 Stan, I think we should talk.
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,654 Dude, you should just go be with Wendy and be happy.
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,114 Stan, I don't like Wendy.
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,325 All I cared about was getting an "A" on this stupid project.
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,868 Yeah. Well, I blew it.
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,496 Now we're gonna fail and Wendy thinks I'm a total loser.
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,414 I thought you didn't care about Wendy anymore.
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,583 I don't. She's totally lame.
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,420 Stan, there was never anything between Wendy and I.
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,756 I wouldn't go out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,510 I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Kyle.
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,012 I'm obviously just a crappy best friend to have.
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,890 Yeah. Well, I'm sorry I didn't trust you either.
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:19,599 Huh?
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,684 It was really important for me to get an "A,"
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,937 and Bebe said you were so reckless with your egg.
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,189 So I made a fake one for you...
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,608 and kept the original safe with me.
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,277 That's -- That's the real egg with Garrison's signature?
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,779 Yeah, dude. I'm sorry.
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,031 Then -- Then Wendy won't think I'm a total loser.
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,367 Yeah! And I can still get my "A."
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,160 Come on, buddy. Let's go.
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,286 Stan?
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,747 Do you really think my hat is stupid?
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,126 As a matter of fact...
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:49,045 I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known.
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:52,715 Come on!
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,136 Today is a very big day
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,888 in which I'm supposed to make a very big decision.
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,891 As some of you know, my biggest issue with gay marriage
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,351 regards child-rearing.
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,562 And a new study has just been concluded
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,230 which will give me the ability
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:10,066 to take no personal responsibility in this decision.
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,609 A new study?
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,361 Here with the results of that study
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,072 is the lovely Mrs. Garrison.
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,407 Thank you, Governor.
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,993 Oh. Jesus Christ.
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,035 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,454 with the help of some adorable fourth-grade students,
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:27,000 we've completed our scientific, nonbiased study
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,543 of fags having kids.
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,837 Come on up, children.
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:34,674 The parents were grouped together as male and female.
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,717 As you can see --
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,596 Uh, Mrs. Garrison, you have an emergency phone call.
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,973 Yes. What is it? I'm a little busy!
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,516 Mr. Garrison, it's Kyle.
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,810 Our egg is okay! We'll be there in a couple of minutes!
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,938 What? Y-You're...You're too late!
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,441 Don't fail us. We'll be right there!
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,860 No, you can't -- Hello? Hello?!
00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:55,945 You told me you killed that freak egg!
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,363 I was sure I did.
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,406 Well, it's here!
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,532 You'd better make damn sure
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,202 it doesn't reach these steps uncracked.
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,829 Anyhow, as I was saying,
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:08,583 we put one egg into the hands of two male students.
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,544 Thanks, dude!
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,463 There! Over there!
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,507 Excuse us! Excuse us, please!
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,343 Yaaaagh!
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,178 Jesus Christ!
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:22,222 - Just keep running! - Hey!
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,433 The -- The egg that the two boys were given does --
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,893 Hang on! Wait!
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,603 Oh!
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,609 In conclusion, Governor, you can rest assured that --
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,069 Oh!
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,957 Teacher...our egg is...okay.
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,419 This egg is fine.
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,338 Gays can get married!
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,803 No! No!
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,347 Gays can get married? What?
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,938 I now pronounce you man and man.
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,156 Boys, I'm really proud of you.
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,410 You've done an amazing thing for gay-marriage rights.
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,536 What did we do?
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,371 Stan, I'm sorry I doubted you.
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,790 You really made a great dad.
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,002 Like I give a crap about what <i>you</i> think, Wendy.
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,589 ♪ Love -- Love lost long ago ♪
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,008 ♪ It was special then ♪
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,968 ♪ It's over now ♪
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:46,806 ♪ Guess that I'll never know how it all went wrong ♪
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,600 ♪ How? How? How? ♪
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:53,730 ♪ But perhaps I should try to boldly go ♪
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,606 ♪ And rekindle that love ♪
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:59,694 ♪ Lost long ago ♪

00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:42,300 Так, дети, на этой неделе мы будем изучать родительство.
00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:46,320 Я разобью всех мальчиков и девочек в классе по парам,
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:49,480 и дам каждой паре... по яйцу
00:00:49,510 --> 00:00:54,960 Вы должны заботиться и присматривать за этим яйцом, как за ребенком - всю неделю.
00:00:54,990 --> 00:00:59,080 Если вы разобьете своё яйцо, это значит вы убили ребенка,
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,260 и если вы убьете своего ребенка, вы получите F.
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,380 Когда я назову ваши имена, пожалуйста пересядьте к тому, с кем вы в паре.
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,780 Хайди, ты будешь с Эриком.
00:01:08,810 --> 00:01:09,860 ООооо.
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:12,140 Энни, ты будешь в семье с Тимми.
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:13,100 Тимми!
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,220 Милли, твой муж - Крэг.
00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,850 - Паудер, ты и Кени теперь влюбленная пара. - О, нет, чувак, он поставит меня с Вэнди.
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,050 - Ииии, посмотрим, кто еще остался здесь... - И, я не говорил с Вэнди с того момента, как мы разошлись.
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:25,100 И, Вэнди? Вэнди будет с Кайлом.
00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:27,030 С Кайлом ?
00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:29,000 Бэйби, ты в паре со Стэном.
00:01:29,030 --> 00:01:33,180 Лола и Токен, Рэд и Крэйг, и Эстер с Брэдли.
00:01:33,620 --> 00:01:36,570 Теперь, я подпишу каждое из ваших яиц,
00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:39,750 чтобы быть увереным в конце недели, что это то же самое яйцо.
00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:44,970 Теперь, если кто-то попытается меня обмануть и заменить своё яйцо, мы об этом узнаем, Эрик
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:50,830 Всё, что вам нужно сделать, это продержать яйцо не разбитым , чтобы доказать какие вы великолепные маленькие родители.
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:55,830 Отлично, дети, теперь остаток школьного дня можете потратить на то, чтобы оформить ваше яйцо как вам захочется.
00:01:55,860 --> 00:02:00,540 Удачи и помните, мертвый ребенок значит F его родителям.
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:10,280 Посмотрите на эти маленькие семьи
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:13,540 Новоявленные пары в счастливом доме.
00:02:13,570 --> 00:02:17,050 Это уносит меня в то время
00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:20,730 Когда у меня была своя любовь.
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:27,100 Любовь, любовь потерянная давно, она была особой тогда, она закончилась теперь.
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:34,170 Любовь, такая ужасно непрочная, вы знаете? Она высохла и умерла. Не знаю как.
00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:50,590 Любовь, любовь потерянная давно, она была особой тогда, она закончилась теперь.
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:57,520 Наверное я никогда не узнаю почему всё так случилось. Почему, почему, почему?
00:02:58,420 --> 00:03:07,930 Может быть мне нужно бесстрашно пойти и попытаться зажечь заново эту любовь, потерянную так давно
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:19,240 Мистер Гаррисон! Ооо, Иисусе!
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,100 Просто дай мне сказать то, что я пришел сказать.
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:27,990 Знаю, что мы разошлись и... были сказаны вещи... которые не нужно было говорить.
00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:31,930 Я хочу извиниться за то что назвал тебя гомосеком.
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,740 Это, это прекрасно, мистер Гаррисон!
00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:38,420 И погоди, погоди, всё намного лучше.
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:42,610 Я простил тебя за твой уход после того как я поменял пол, и ох...
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,870 Я готов принять тебя назад , мистер Раб!
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,810 Чтож, давай наконец поцелуемся!
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:52,120 Рааб, сладкий, это пицца?
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,100 Что за дьявольщина здесь происходит?!
00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:06,430 Мистер Гаррисон, Эл и я живем вместе уже несколько месяцев.
00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:09,190 Чтож, ты забыл меня довольно быстро, не правда ли?!
00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:11,430 Раб, мне оставить вас двоих одних?
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,110 Даа.
00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:13,400 Нет!
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:19,100 Мистер Гаррисон, есть кое что что вам нужно знать. Эл и я собираемся пожениться.
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,330 Пожениться ?
00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:22,670 Да.
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,870 Вы не можете пожениться!Вы пидары!
00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:28,220 Оо, Святой Иисусе.
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:33,130 Мистер Раб, теперь я женщина! Если ты хочешь жениться, ты должен жениться на мне!
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:37,950 Оо, это не правда! В Колорадо почти принят закон, позволяющий однополые браки.
00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:41,310 Мы женимся как раз после принятия закона - в Субботу.
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:45,600 Оо, это просто великолепно! Они разрешат пидорам жениться на пидорах, ха?!
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,110 Так, достаточно. Вон, мисьер Гаррисон.
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,840 Мы еще не закончили с этим, грёбаные пидоры!!
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:53,670 Я остановлю этот закон пидорских свадьб!
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:57,120 О Господи, ты говоришь так потому, что завидуешь.
00:04:57,150 --> 00:05:02,870 Завидую чему?! Я делаю это из принципа! Чтобы защитить святость свадеб!
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,810 Пидоры будут женится ЧЕРЕЗ МОЙ ТРУП!!
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,650 Алло? А, привет, чувак.
00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:23,700 Итак, что ты и Вэнди делаете?
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:27,260 Аа, мы просто делаем колыбель из картона для яиц для нашего яйца
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,590 Мы решили, что так будет безопаснее для него и мы сможеи получить A.
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,490 Оо хах...
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,580 Не думаю что будет сложно защитить его и не разбить. Вся эта затея глупа.
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:35,220 Даа, прям как и твоя шляпа
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,670 Стэн, не мог бы ты присмотреть за яйцом некоторое время.
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:46,710 Не могу. Я занят.
00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,880 Я смотрела за ним весь день. Мне нужно зайти в парикмахерскую и в конфетный магазин!
00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:51,730 ...Ну так возьми его с собой!
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,280 Стэн, это наше яйцо. Мы оба должны заботиться о нем.
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,640 А, может мне не хотелось иметь яйцо с тобой, ясно Бэйби?!
00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,020 Хорошо, но то что тебе хочется не имеет значения!
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,790 Нас будут оценивать вместе! Это и твоё яйцо!
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,460 Оставляю его под твою ответственность!
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:22,390 Пидоры думают, что могут просто переступить через наши традиции!
00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:27,730 И поэтому я говорю: Свадьба это святое таинство между мужчиной и женщиной!
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,050 Кто эта леди?
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,120 Не знаю, но её вывели из себя.
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,640 Они провели этот закон у нас за спиной!
00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:40,150 Нам нужно заявить губернатору и миру что свадьба пидоров это не хорошо!
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:43,170 Эти пидоры не могут пачкать наши традиции!
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:48,200 И у нас нет другого выхода, чтобы прояснить эту ситуацию!
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:52,700 Нам нужно окружить трех, или четырех пидоров и выбить из них дерьмо к чертям собачьим!
00:06:54,980 --> 00:07:01,250 Давайте, все! Давайте найдем нескольких пидоров, несколько грузовиков и устроим старый добрый наезд на пидоров!
00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:08,110 Но это, мы думали что просто, ну знаете, просто пойдем подадим апеляцию губернатору.
00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:12,800 Апеляцию Губернатору? Оо, прекратите! Где ваши яйца?! Наезд на пидоров!
00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:17,890 Мы не ненавидим гомосексуалов, мы, мы просто не хотим чтобы им можно было женится.
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:22,480 Даа, мы просто думали пойти и поросить губернатора наложить вето на закон.
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,800 Даа !
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,240 Да хах, наезд на пидоров?
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:36,700 Губернатор, мы собрали около тысячи подписей, требующих от вас наложить вето на эакон о гей-свадьбах!
00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:39,010 Оо, Иисусе, я знал что это случится.
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:41,980 Сначала геи пришли с просьбами о равных правах,
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:45,970 затем этот закон начали принимать и теперь люди против и хотят чтобы я отменил его
00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,290 Почему я должен принимать это решение??
00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:51,300 Потому, что вы губернатор?
00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:56,790 Я просто хотел большой дом и много уважения. Мне не хотелось такой ответственности
00:07:56,990 --> 00:08:03,110 Я имею в виду, я не знаю ничего о свадьбах геев. Какие аргументы я могу использовать, чтобы запретить им иметь семью?
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:04,800 Ну, подумайте о детях!
00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:09,460 Если вы позволите мужикам жениться, вы также дадите им право усыновлять детей.
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:11,930 Думаете пидоры смогут растить детей??
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:16,710 Я не могу воспользоваться этим аргументом. Не было никаких исследований, доказывающих это.
00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:26,560 Но если бы у вас были результаты подобных исследований, научных исследований, показывающих неспособность однополых пар растить детей...
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:31,070 Тогда у меня было бы на что ссылаться. Что-что-то, что бы сняло с меня всё давление.
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,160 Губернатор, я достану вам результаты этих исследований.
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,150 Хэй, Вэнди, как поживает твоё яйцо?
00:08:40,190 --> 00:08:44,020 Оо, прекрасно. Это довольно лёгкое задание. Кайл довольно хорошо справляется с яйцом.
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:47,440 Хотела бы я иметь такого же партнера, как Кайл!
00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:51,230 Вчера я пошла забрать яйцо от Стэна и оно было у его собаки во рту!
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,360 Наше яйцо, благодаря Стэну, не протянет неделю!
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,220 Итак, ученики, меняем планы!
00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:02,030 Все вы отлично поработали, заботясь о своих яйцах, но сейчас мы немножко перемешаемся.
00:09:02,030 --> 00:09:04,780 Вэнди и Кайл больше не будут вместе.
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:11,610 Давайте посмотрим что случится, если мы создадим однополые пары, чтобы они заботились о яйцах?!
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:15,380 Кайл, ты теперь со Стэном! И Вэнди с Бэйби!
00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:16,480 Почему ?
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:21,250 Давай, Бэйби. Вы с Вэнди будете заботиться о твоём яйце.
00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:21,840 Оо, отличненько.
00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:24,730 И мы возьмем это яйцо, чтобы о нем заботился Стэн и Кайл.
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,240 Нет. Нет, это моё яйцо.
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,350 Вэнди, мы проводи эксперимент.
00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:30,030 Держите, мальчики.
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:34,420 Но я создала это яйцо, мистер Гаррисон, пожалуйста. Вы, вы не можете отдать моё яйцо Стэну, он разобьет его.
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:40,730 Оо нет, что тебя заставляет так говорить, Вэнди? Я уверен два мальчика смогут позаботиться о яйце...
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:45,720 И если нет, мы точно докажем то что нам нужно проклятому губернатору, неправда ли?
00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:47,480 Кто ?
00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:53,770 Не имеет значения, просто заботьтесь, дети. Просто заботьтесь так, как бы это сделали два маленьких мальчика.
00:09:59,204 --> 00:10:02,534 Ладно, так. Теперь мы можем носить яйцо в этой корзинке и оно не разобьется.
00:10:02,574 --> 00:10:04,384 Хорошо, дай его мне. Я его возьму домой на ночь.
00:10:04,424 --> 00:10:06,994 Слушай, Стэн, ты не хотел бы чтобы я присмотрел за яйцом?
00:10:07,034 --> 00:10:08,304 Почему ты так говоришь?
00:10:08,334 --> 00:10:14,154 Это просто потому... Мне на самом деле нужно это A, Стэн. И Бэйби сказала что ты почти разбил своё последнее яйцо.
00:10:14,184 --> 00:10:15,674 Это потому, что я был взбешен!
00:10:15,684 --> 00:10:16,284 Из за кого?
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,144 Погоди.
00:10:21,314 --> 00:10:22,564 Я хочу увидеть своё яйцо.
00:10:22,594 --> 00:10:23,164 Чё?
00:10:23,194 --> 00:10:25,344 Я хочу увидеть своё яйцо.
00:10:25,384 --> 00:10:28,314 Вэнди, теперь это не твоё яйцо!
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:30,914 Нет, моё. Я его сделала, я его украшала.
00:10:30,954 --> 00:10:34,004 Чтож, может быть ты его и делала, но мы те, кто заботиться о нем теперь.
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,424 У тебя своё яйцо, за которым нужно присматривать!
00:10:35,464 --> 00:10:38,204 ...Я просто хочу подержать своё яйцо пару минут.
00:10:38,234 --> 00:10:39,824 Вэнди, мне нужно получить А, ладно
00:10:39,864 --> 00:10:42,264 Давай не будем делать всё сложнее, чем это уже есть
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,274 Не дай ничему с ним случиться, пожалуйста.
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:51,294 Вэнди, с яйцом ничего не случится. В конце недели, когда я получу оценку, ты сможешь его забрать.
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,644 Странная чудачка, чел.
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:57,874 Ты думаешь, что ты великолепен, да?! Чтож, знаешь что?!
00:10:57,904 --> 00:10:59,694 Возможно мне не нужна твоя помощь!
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,004 Я забираю яйцо домой на ночь,
00:11:01,044 --> 00:11:04,684 и завтра я покажу всем, что я такой же яйце-заботливый, как ты!
00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:09,434 Какого черта случилось со всеми?
00:11:12,124 --> 00:11:17,544 Отлично, дети, сегодня среда! День официальной проверки яиц! Хайди и Эрик?
00:11:17,574 --> 00:11:18,674 Ваше яйцо в порядке.
00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:21,144 Ладно, Энни и Тиммиy?
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:24,914 Хорошо. Милли и Клайд, я видел ваше перед уроком.
00:11:24,954 --> 00:11:25,954 Паудер и Кенни?
00:11:26,994 --> 00:11:30,204 Теперь, как насчет нашей пидорской пары? Стэн и Кайл?
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:31,624 В порядке!
00:11:32,514 --> 00:11:33,194 Что?
00:11:33,224 --> 00:11:34,934 Ваще никаких проблем!
00:11:34,974 --> 00:11:36,964 Это не возможно!
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:41,144 Вы уверены, что не разбили и не подменили яйцо?! Где моя подпись?!
00:11:41,174 --> 00:11:43,024 Она вот здесь, видите?
00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:46,164 Два мальчика не могут заботиться о яйце!
00:11:46,204 --> 00:11:47,554 Чувак, оно в полном порядке.
00:11:47,584 --> 00:11:51,174 Оно не в порядке! У него два отца! Вы называете это порядком?!
00:11:51,214 --> 00:11:55,224 Оно может быть в порядке снаружи, но внутри оно сбито с толку и озадачено!
00:11:55,254 --> 00:11:58,184 Посмотрите не уродское яйцо! У него два отца!
00:11:58,214 --> 00:12:00,804 Два отцаа! Два отцаа!
00:12:00,844 --> 00:12:06,004 Давайте, класс, давайте посмеемся над этим уродским яйцом! Два отцаа! Два отцаа!
00:12:06,034 --> 00:12:10,074 Том, я стою снаружи губернаторского офиса, где всего через два дня,
00:12:10,074 --> 00:12:14,174 губернатор подпишет или отложит закон, позволяюший жениться геям.
00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:17,244 Однополые пары со всего штата собрались в поддержку закона,
00:12:17,274 --> 00:12:21,704 так же как собралсь и придерживающиеся другого мнения. Губернатор собирается сделать объявление.
00:12:22,514 --> 00:12:27,784 Мне верится, что я смогу предложить компромисс для решения этой проблемы, который устроит всех!
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:35,134 Люд из общества гомосексуалистов хотят тех же прав, что и женатые пары, но противники не хотят слова "женатая" пара.
00:12:35,164 --> 00:12:39,674 Итак, как насчет разрешить гомосексуалистам жениться, но называть это как-то по другому?
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:45,534 Вы, гомосексуалисты будете иметь такие-же права, как женатые пары,
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:51,554 но вместо того, чтобы называться "женатыми", вы можете быть... дружными жопами.
00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:58,424 Вместо того, тобы быть "мужем и женой", вы будете... дружными жопами.
00:12:59,394 --> 00:13:04,724 Вы не будте "обручены", вы будете ... дружными жопами. Ясно?
00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:09,774 Вместо "жениха и невесты", вы будете ... дружными жопами.
00:13:09,814 --> 00:13:11,924 Мы хотим, чтобы нас рассматривали одинаково!
00:13:11,954 --> 00:13:12,974 Вы равны.
00:13:13,014 --> 00:13:18,504 Просто вместо того чтобы объявлять помолвку, вы будете... дружными жопами.
00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:20,364 И все счастливы!
00:13:20,394 --> 00:13:22,314 А как насчет лесбиянок?!
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:24,954 А как будто всем не насрать на лесбийских пёзд?
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:31,544 Оо, Господи, я был уверен что это сработает.
00:13:32,974 --> 00:13:36,774 Черт, Черт! Яйцо Стэна и Кайла до сих пор в порядке!
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:39,534 Эти маленькие говнюки срывают мне весь план!
00:13:40,514 --> 00:13:41,614 Да, что?!
00:13:46,984 --> 00:13:49,184 Что это за херня?!
00:13:49,214 --> 00:13:50,454 Я разбил яйцо.
00:13:50,494 --> 00:13:53,744 Ты разбил яйцо?? Оо, но ты же в паре с девочкой.
00:13:53,774 --> 00:13:56,724 Я пытался это скрыть, пытался собрать его назад с помощью модельного клея,
00:13:56,754 --> 00:14:00,604 пытался скрепить его паяльным пистолетом, но я сдался. Я не могу это скрыть, я разбил яйцо.
00:14:01,514 --> 00:14:03,334 Ты сказал кому-нибудь об этом?
00:14:03,374 --> 00:14:04,464 Нет.
00:14:04,504 --> 00:14:07,004 Ты сказал своей партнерше по яйцу, Хайди?
00:14:07,044 --> 00:14:11,154 Нет. Поэтому я и здесь. Я думаю вы всё равно должны поставить Хайди за проект А.
00:14:11,194 --> 00:14:13,524 Видете ли, я разбил яйцо.ю не она.
00:14:13,554 --> 00:14:16,424 Итого, я получаю F, она получает A,
00:14:16,454 --> 00:14:19,804 Что значит что вместе оценка превращается в C с минусом каждому.
00:14:19,844 --> 00:14:21,514 Я не могу этого сделать, Эрик!
00:14:21,544 --> 00:14:24,524 Черт! Я знал, что вы скажете так! У вас всегда припрятана эта фраза для меня!
00:14:24,554 --> 00:14:28,514 Эрик, ты должен получить А. Вот: Я подпишу это яйцо для тебя.
00:14:28,544 --> 00:14:30,324 Притворимся, что этого не было, хорошо?
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:35,184 Просто... оденем старые волосы, подкрасим те же глаза... Вот, на, как новенькое.
00:14:35,224 --> 00:14:37,194 Иди, наслаждайся остатком перемены.
00:14:40,774 --> 00:14:44,204 Мистер Гаррисон..., вы никогда не были так добры ко мне.
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:47,414 ...Хорошо, пожалуйста, Эрик. Теперь просто уходи.
00:14:50,174 --> 00:14:51,194 ...Почему вы это делаете
00:14:51,234 --> 00:14:53,534 Потому, что я хороший учитель, ясно?
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:55,904 Что вам нужно от меня?
00:14:55,944 --> 00:14:59,034 Ничего! Всё в порядке! Просто забирай своё чертово яйцо!
00:15:00,844 --> 00:15:01,944 Нет.
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,534 Эрик, у меня от тебя всегда только проблему!
00:15:04,574 --> 00:15:07,964 Теперь ты возьмешь это яйцо! И если опять его разобьешь, я сломаю тебе обе ноги,
00:15:08,004 --> 00:15:09,974 и сожгу твой дом! Слышишь меня?!
00:15:10,014 --> 00:15:10,894 Да, учитель.
00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:12,664 Убирайся, чтобы я тебя не видел!
00:15:14,644 --> 00:15:17,804 Ыыы, это научное исследование идет не по тому пути, что я планировал!
00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:21,514 Похоже, что мне нужно... вмешаться.
00:15:28,304 --> 00:15:29,664 Вы Джакарта?
00:15:29,704 --> 00:15:31,184 Какого черта, кто ты?!
00:15:31,224 --> 00:15:34,904 Миссис Гаррисон. Я говорила с вашими партнерами по телефону.
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:39,644 Аа да, вы нуждаетесь в моих услугах.
00:15:39,684 --> 00:15:45,214 У меня есть небольшая... проблемка, о которой нужно позаботиться. Слышала, что вы лучший
00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:48,154 Кого ты хочешь, чтобы я убил?
00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:56,694 Что это?
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:58,454 Это яйцо.
00:15:58,454 --> 00:16:00,964 Ты хочешь, чтобы я убил яйцо?
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,104 Я могу заплатить 2 тысячи сейчас , и три после того, как работа будет закончена.
00:16:04,144 --> 00:16:06,664 Что ты хочешь, чтобы я с ним сделал?
00:16:06,694 --> 00:16:13,414 Мне всё равно. Побейте его, пожарьте, делайте что хотите! Это должно выглядеть как несчастный случай.
00:16:13,454 --> 00:16:16,654 Я серьезный наемник! Убирайся от сюдова!
00:16:18,254 --> 00:16:20,994 Какая разница? Вы ... боитесь, что не сможете это сделать?
00:16:21,024 --> 00:16:25,444 Не скажу, что обвиняю вас. От этого яйца одни неприятности - с самого начала!
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,114 Думаю... вы не так хороши, как говорили...
00:16:29,894 --> 00:16:33,334 Я лучший убийца, которого мир когда либо видел!!
00:16:33,374 --> 00:16:36,134 Тогда вы испугались одного маленького яйца?!
00:16:36,174 --> 00:16:40,034 Я убью это яйцо! Я заставлю его проклянать тот день, когда оно было отложено!
00:16:40,064 --> 00:16:41,454 Это больше похоже на вас!
00:16:46,704 --> 00:16:50,134 День пять. Я сделал это! Аллё?
00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:51,454 Чувак, слышал что происходит?
00:16:51,484 --> 00:16:52,244 Что?
00:16:52,284 --> 00:16:54,004 Гаррисон везет всех нас сегодня на поле.
00:16:54,044 --> 00:16:56,624 Он хочет устроить финальную проверку яиц перед офисом губернатора!
00:16:56,664 --> 00:16:57,764 Офисом губернатора?
00:16:57,794 --> 00:16:59,844 Она на самом деле воспринимает эту оценку в серьез, Стэн.
00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:02,454 Я приду к тебе, чтобы мы могли отнести наше яйцо в школу вместе, хорошо?
00:17:02,484 --> 00:17:05,924 Аа, тебе бы этого хотелось, да?! Я присматривал за яйцом, Кайл, не ты!
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,844 Так, Стэн, ты ты относился ко мне как к говнюку всю неделю! Что случилось?!
00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:09,414 Что случилось?!
00:17:09,444 --> 00:17:13,064 Оо, ничего, кроме того, что ты пытался поразить Вэнди на протяжении всей недели как трогательный хуй!
00:17:13,094 --> 00:17:14,204 Поразить Вэнди??
00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:17,394 Ты выставил всё так, что ты великолепный принц, а я просто неудачник!
00:17:17,424 --> 00:17:18,874 Что за херню ты несешь?!
00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:21,214 Что-ж, знаешь что?! Я сам принесу это яйцо в класс!
00:17:21,244 --> 00:17:25,274 И я буду держать его перед Вэнди и скажу "Видишь?! Я столь же хорош, как Кайл."
00:17:27,894 --> 00:17:29,944 Слишком легко.
00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:35,324 Стэн ?
00:17:46,338 --> 00:17:49,178 Стэн? Стэн, думаю нам нужно поговорить.
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:51,568 Чувак, ты можешь просто идти к Вэнди и быть с ней счастливыми.
00:17:52,428 --> 00:17:53,548 Стэн, мне не нравится Вэнди.
00:17:53,588 --> 00:17:55,768 Всё, что мне нужно было - это получить А в этом тупорылом проекте!
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:59,888 Даа, чтож, я запорол его. Теперь мы провалимся и Вэнди подумает что я полный неудачник.
00:17:59,928 --> 00:18:01,838 Мне казалось, что Вэнди тебя больше не заботит.
00:18:01,878 --> 00:18:03,488 Да, мне похер. Она полный отстой.
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,558 Стэн, между Вэнди и мной ничего нет
00:18:07,598 --> 00:18:10,098 Я бы никогда не пошел гулять с бывшей подругой моего лучшего друга.
00:18:11,928 --> 00:18:16,098 Прости что не доверял тебе, Кайл. Я очевидно самый говняный лучший друг, которого только можно иметь.
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,998 Даа, что-ж, прости меня тоже за то, что я тебе не доверял.
00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:19,928 А?
00:18:20,278 --> 00:18:22,478 Мне очень важно получить А, Стэн.
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:26,248 И Бэйби сказала, что ты был очень безответственным со своим яйцом, поэтому я сделал не настоящее яйцо для тебя
00:18:26,278 --> 00:18:28,348 и держал настоящее в безопасности у себя.
00:18:28,378 --> 00:18:31,798 Вот... Вот настоящее яйцо с подписью Гаррисона?
00:18:31,828 --> 00:18:33,238 Да, чувак. Прости.
00:18:33,268 --> 00:18:35,448 Тогда... тогда Вэнди не подумает, что я полный неудачник!
00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:37,498 Даа. И я также смогу получить своё А!
00:18:37,538 --> 00:18:38,728 Давай, друг, поехали!
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:43,258 Стэн... Ты в натуре думаешь, что у меня тупая шапка?
00:18:45,038 --> 00:18:48,848 Под давлением фактов, ... Я думаю, что это милейшая шапка, которую я когда-либо видел
00:18:51,168 --> 00:18:52,298 Давай!
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:59,408 Сегодня - большой день, когда я должен принять очень большое решение.
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:03,768 Как некоторые из вас знают, моё величайшее исследование гомосексуальных браков основывается на выращивании детей.
00:19:03,798 --> 00:19:10,438 Новое исследование было только что закончено и оно даст мне возможность не брать личной ответственности по принятию этого решения.
00:19:10,478 --> 00:19:11,838 Новое исследование?
00:19:11,868 --> 00:19:15,708 Здесь, с результатами этого исследования, милейшая Миссис Гаррисон
00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:17,768 Спасибо, габернатор.
00:19:18,098 --> 00:19:20,518 Оо, Святой Иисусе.
00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:23,888 Леди и джнтельмены, при помощи очаровательных учеников четвертого класса,
00:19:23,928 --> 00:19:30,578 мы завершили наше научное, беспристрастное изучение невозможности гомосеков иметь детей. Поднимайтесь, дети.
00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:36,248 Родители были сгруппированы по парам - мальчик и девочка. Как вы видите...
00:19:36,288 --> 00:19:39,558 Оу, Миссис. Гаррисон. У нас срочный телефонный звонок.
00:19:40,548 --> 00:19:42,418 Да, что такое?! Я немного занята!
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:46,028 Мистер Гаррисон, это Кайл! Я нашим яйцом всё в порядке! Мы будем там через пару минут!
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:49,608 Что?? Ваше-в... вы опоздали!
00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,708 Не проваливайте нас! Мы будем там!
00:19:52,198 --> 00:19:56,348 Нет, вы не можете - Аллё? Аллё!! Ты сказал мне, что убил это уродское яйцо!!
00:19:56,388 --> 00:19:57,848 Я был уверен, что убил!
00:19:57,888 --> 00:20:01,778 Ну так вот, оно здесь! Тебе бы лучше убедиться, что оно не доберется до сцены не разбитым!
00:20:02,348 --> 00:20:09,038 Хаха, итак, как я говорил, мы дали одно яйцо в руки двум мальчикам.
00:20:11,118 --> 00:20:12,158 Спасибо, чувак!
00:20:12,198 --> 00:20:13,348 Туда! Вон туда!
00:20:13,928 --> 00:20:15,758 Простите нас! Простите нас, пожалуйста!
00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:20,518 Святой Иисусе!
00:20:21,038 --> 00:20:21,638 Бегии!
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:26,018 Яйцо, которое было отдано двум мальчикам -
00:20:26,048 --> 00:20:27,148 Стойте! Погодите!
00:20:32,138 --> 00:20:35,088 В итоге, губернатор, вы можете в конце концов убедиться, что - !
00:20:45,318 --> 00:20:48,768 Учитель, с нашим яйцом всё в ... порядке.
00:20:51,658 --> 00:20:55,608 С этим яйцом всё в порядке. Геи могут жениться!
00:20:59,878 --> 00:21:02,148 Неет! Неееееет!!
00:21:02,188 --> 00:21:04,438 Геи могут жениться? Что??
00:21:08,748 --> 00:21:12,078 И я вас объявляю мужчиной... и мужчиной.
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:25,288 Мальчики, я по настоящему горжусь вами Вы сделали потрясающую вещь для прав геев на женитьбу.
00:21:25,828 --> 00:21:26,938 Что мы сделали ?
00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:30,488 Стэн, прости, что сомневалась в тебе. Ты по настоящему был отличным отцом.
00:21:31,918 --> 00:21:33,778 Как будто мне не похер, что ты обо мне думаешь, Вэнди.
00:21:36,498 --> 00:21:39,248 Перевод : Женя from : pc-statistics.ru приходите еще

00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:12,430 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,098 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,683 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,894 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,481 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:25,484 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,988 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:33,325 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,078 [ Bell rings ]
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,246 Okay, children.
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,249 This week we are all going to learn about...
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,418 parenting.
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:46,213 I'm gonna pair all the boys and girls in class into couples
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,050 and give each couple...an egg.
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,761 You must care for and look after this egg
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,513 just like a baby for one full week.
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:58,851 If you break your egg, it means you have a dead baby.
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,854 And if you kill your baby, you get an "F."
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,481 When I announce your names,
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,900 please move and sit with the person you're paired with.
00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:08,486 Heidi, you'll be with Eric.
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,403 Aw!
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,864 Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy.
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:12,865 Timmy!
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:15,117 Millie, your husband is Craig. Powder...
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,453 Oh, no, dude. He's gonna put me with Wendy.
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,287 Mrph?
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,664 So I haven't even spoken to Wendy since we broke up.
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:25,211 And, Wendy... Wendy will be with Kyle.
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:26,629 Kyle?
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,547 Bebe, you're paired up with Stan.
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:31,175 Lola and Token. Red and Craig.
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,302 And Esther and Bradley.
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,430 Now, I'm going to sign each of your eggs myself
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,224 so that we'll know it's the same one
00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:39,600 at the end of the week.
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,686 That way if anybody cheats and tries to replace their eggs,
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,772 we'll know...Eric.
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,899 All you have to do is make it to Friday
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,109 with your egg unharmed
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:51,070 to prove what great little parents you are.
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:51,987 Okay, children.
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,614 You can take the rest of the school period
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,366 to decorate your egg however you wish.
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:56,951 Good luck, and remember --
00:01:57,076 --> 00:02:00,913 A dead baby means an "F" for the parents.
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,416 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,505 MR. GARRISON: ♪ Just look at all these little families ♪
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,759 ♪ Newfound couples in a happy home ♪
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,762 ♪ It takes me back to another time ♪
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,307 ♪ When I had a love of my own ♪
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,394 ♪ Love -- Love lost long ago ♪
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,187 ♪ It was special then ♪
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,314 ♪ It's over now ♪
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:30,442 ♪ Love -- So darned frail, you know ♪
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:31,986 ♪ It shriveled and dried ♪
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,946 ♪ I don't know how ♪
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,042 ♪ Love -- Love lost long ago ♪
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,711 ♪ It was special then ♪
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,462 ♪ It's over now ♪
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:55,301 ♪ Guess that I'll never know how it all went wrong ♪
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,469 ♪ How? How? How? ♪
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:02,099 ♪ But perhaps I should try to boldly go ♪
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:06,896 ♪ And rekindle that love lost long ago ♪
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,106 [ Insects chirping ]
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:10,482 [ Doorbell rings ]
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:15,654 Hello, Mr. Slave.
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,824 Mr. Garrison! Oh, Jesus!
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,869 Just let me say what I came here to say.
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,662 I know we had a falling-out,
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:27,708 and things were said that shouldn't have been said.
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:31,503 I want to apologize for calling you a faggot.
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,257 That's -- That's wonderful, Mr. Garrison.
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,801 Well, wait, wait. It gets better.
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,304 I've forgiven you for walking out on me
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,973 after I had my sex change, and --
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,893 and I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave!
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,895 Ooh.
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,897 Well, give us a kiss!
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:53,192 Slave, honey, is that the pizza?
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,612 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,909 What the hell is he doing here?!
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,369 Mr. Garrison,
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:06,288 Al and I have been living together for a few months.
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,916 Well, that didn't take you long, did it?!
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:11,085 Slave, should I leave you two alone?
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:11,919 Yes!
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,087 No!
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:16,423 Mr. Garrison, there's something you should know.
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,884 Al and I are getting married.
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,095 Married?!
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,388 Yes.
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:25,683 You can't get married! You're faggots!
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,851 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,354 Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now.
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,731 If you want to get married, you have to marry me!
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,857 Oh, that's not true.
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:37,569 Colorado is about to pass a bill which allows same-sex marriage.
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:38,654 We're getting married
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,864 right after the bill passes on Saturday.
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,574 Oh, that's just great.
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,286 They're gonna let queers and homos get married, huh?
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,037 Okay. That's enough.
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,622 Out, Mr. Garrison.
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,417 We'll just see about this, you fudge-packing fags!
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,627 I'll stop that gay-marriage law.
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:56,964 Oh, my God! You're just saying that because you're jealous!
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,465 Jealous of what?
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,092 I'm doing this out of principle --
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,386 to protect the sanctity of marriage!
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,514 Fags are gettin' married over my dead body!
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:15,149 [ Telephone beeping ]
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:18,152 [ Telephone rings ]
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,322 Hello? Oh, hey, dude.
00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,991 So...what are you and Wendy doing?
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,535 We're just making a cradle out of an egg carton for our egg.
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,370 We figured that way it'll be easier to keep safe
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,205 - so we can get an "A." - Uh-huh.
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,041 I don't think it's gonna be that hard to keep it from breaking.
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,250 This whole assignment is stupid.
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,918 Yeah. Well, so is your hat.
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,004 [ Telephone beeps ]
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,174 [ Doorbell rings ]
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,387 Stan, I need you to watch the egg for a while.
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,388 I can't. I'm busy.
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,806 I've been looking after it all day.
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,767 I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store.
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,393 So take it with you.
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,394 Stan, this is <i>our</i> egg!
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,896 We're both supposed to take care of it.
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,066 Maybe I didn't want to have an egg with you, okay, Bebe?
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,860 Well, whether you wanted to or not doesn't really matter now.
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,487 We're going to get graded together.
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,613 It's your egg, too.
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,741 Own up to your responsibilities!
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:06,950 [ Door closes ]
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:14,666 ♪ This is it ♪
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,210 ♪ This is it ♪
00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:17,378 ♪ This is life ♪
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,254 These homosexuals think
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:22,007 they can just step all over our traditions.
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,135 Well, I say marriage is a holy sacrament
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,388 between a man and a woman!
00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,306 [ Cheers and applause ]
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,766 Who <i>is</i> that lady?
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,851 I don't know, but she is pissed!
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,354 They passed this law behind our backs!
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,898 We need to tell the governor and the world
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,817 that gay marriage is not okay,
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,694 that homosexuals cannot muddy our traditions.
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,823 And there is only one way for us, all together,
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,950 to make that message very clear --
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,452 We need to round up three or four queers
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,414 and beat the living hell out of 'em!
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:55,999 Come on, everybody!
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,127 Let's get some queers and some trucks
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,213 and have us a good old-fashioned fag drag!
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,634 Well, uh, we were thinking we would, you know,
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,803 just go appeal to the governor.
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,471 Appeal to the governor?
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,348 Oh, come on! Where's your balls?!
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,558 Fag drag!
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:14,435 We don't hate homosexuals.
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,563 We -- We just don't want them to able to marry.
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,981 We were just thinking
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,526 of going and asking the governor to veto the bill.
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:23,652 Yeah.
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,489 F-Fag drag?
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,491 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,911 Governor, we have collected over 1,000 signatures
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:36,373 requesting that you veto this gay-marriage bill.
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,750 Oh, geez. I knew this would happen.
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:41,378 First, the gay people come in here wanting equal rights.
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,754 Then this bill gets passed,
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,091 and now all the people against it want me to veto it.
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,260 Why do I have to make this decision?!
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430 Because you're the governor?
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:54,057 I just wanted a big house and lots of respect!
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,935 I didn't want this kind of responsibility!
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,897 I mean, I don't know anything about gay marriage.
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:03,025 What argument can I use to deny them their right to a family?
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,651 Well, think of the children.
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,278 If you allow gays to get married,
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:09,239 then you're also giving them full rights as parents to adopt.
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,783 You think kids can be raised by queers?
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,243 I can't use that argument.
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,455 There's never been a study done which proves that either way.
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,831 [ Bell chimes ]
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,667 But...if you had such a study --
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:24,087 a scientific study which proved same-sex couples
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:26,381 are incapable of raising a child...
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,425 Then I would have something to fall back on,
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,677 s-something to take all the pressure off of me.
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:35,724 Mr. Governor... I will get you that study.
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:36,725 [ Bell rings ]
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,185 [ Indistinct conversations ]
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,937 Hey, Wendy. How's your egg doing?
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,189 Oh, great. It's a pretty easy project.
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,815 Kyle's really good with the egg.
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,069 Yeah. I wish I had a partner like Kyle.
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,154 I went to go pick up the egg from Stan yesterday,
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,739 and his dog had it in its mouth.
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,033 Our egg isn't gonna last a week with Stan around.
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,411 Okay, students! Change of plan!
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,205 You've all been doing a great job
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,289 taking care of your eggs,
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,583 but now we're gonna mix it up a little.
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,586 Wendy and Kyle will no longer be together.
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,879 Ha!
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,005 Let's see what happens
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,716 when we put two same-sex couples together
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,260 to take care of an egg, shall we?
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,930 Kyle, you are now with Stan, and Wendy is with Bebe.
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:16,682 Why?
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,225 Come on, Bebe.
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,519 We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after.
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:21,603 Oh, goody!
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,356 We'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for.
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,899 No! No. That's <i>my</i> egg.
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,943 Wendy, we're doing an experiment.
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,820 Here you go, boys.
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:32,114 But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please.
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,283 Y-You can't give my egg to Stan. He'll break it.
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,160 Oh, now, what makes you say that, Wendy?
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:40,831 I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine.
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,458 And if not... we'll certainly prove a point
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,295 to that goddamn governor, won't we?
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,170 Who?
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:50,215 Never mind. Just carry on, children.
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:54,511 Just carry on as two reckless little boys will.
00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,558 Okay. There.
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,226 Now we can carry our egg around in this case
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,394 without it getting cracked.
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,438 Give it to me. I'll take it home tonight.
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,898 Look, Stan, you want me to just take care of this egg?
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,066 Why do you say that?
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,652 It's just that I really need this "A," Stan.
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,530 And Bebe did say you almost broke your last egg.
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,198 That's because I was pissed off!
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:16,992 - At who? - [ Doorbell rings ]
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,619 Hang on.
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:21,997 I want to see my egg.
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:22,914 Huh?
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,334 I want to see my egg.
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,753 Wendy, it isn't your egg anymore.
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:30,297 Yes, it is. I made it. I decorated it.
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,465 Well, you might have made it,
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,342 but we're the ones who are taking care of it now.
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,010 You have your own egg to look out for.
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,638 I just want to hold my egg for a couple minutes.
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,222 Wendy, I just want to get an "A," okay?
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,683 Let's not make this any more confusing than it already is.
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,018 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:47,064 WENDY: Don't let anything happen to it -- please.
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,440 Wendy, nothing's gonna happen to the egg.
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,360 You can have it when the week is over and I get my grade.
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,696 Freakin' weirdos, man.
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,531 You think you're so great, don't you?
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,950 Well, guess what. Maybe I don't need your help.
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,369 I'm taking the egg home tonight,
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,745 and I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,623 that I'm every bit as good a egg take-care-of-er as you!
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,670 What the hell is wrong with everybody?
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,171 [ Bell rings ]
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,674 Okay, children. It's Wednesday.
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,759 Time for an official egg check.
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,010 Heidi and Eric?
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,178 Our egg is fine.
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,763 Okay. Annie and Timmy?
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,056 Timmy!
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,140 Good.
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,309 Millie and Clyde, I saw yours before class.
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,520 - Powder and Kenny? - Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:30,107 Now how about our gay couple, Stan and Kyle?
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,525 Fine.
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:32,901 What?
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,528 No problems at all.
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,321 That's impossible!
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,616 Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:40,826 Where's my signature?
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,619 It's -- It's right there. See?
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,789 Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg!
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,165 Dude, it's totally fine.
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,417 It isn't fine!
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,961 It has two daddies! You call that fine?!
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:52,629 It may be fine on the outside,
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,798 but inside it's confused and embarrassed!
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,718 Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies!
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:00,303 ♪ Two daddies! Two daddies! ♪
00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,639 Come on, class! Let's rip on the freak egg!
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,434 ♪ Two daddies! Two daddies! ♪
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,270 Tom, I'm standing outside the governor's office,
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606 where, in just two days, the governor can either sign or veto
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,692 the new bill allowing gay marriage.
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,527 Same-sex couples from all over the state
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:16,737 have shown up in support,
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:19,072 while dissenters have also converged.
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,533 The governor is about to give a statement.
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,619 I believe that I might have come up with a compromise
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,247 to this whole problem that will make everyone happy.
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,249 People in the gay community
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,293 want the same rights as married couples,
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,713 but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted.
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,007 So how about we let gay people get married
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,134 but call it something else?
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,889 You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,140 as married couples.
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,477 But instead of referring to you as married,
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,772 you can be butt buddies.
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:58,028 Instead of being "man and wife," you'll be "butt buddies."
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,781 You won't be "betrothed."
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:03,283 You'll be "butt buddies."
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,409 Get it?
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:09,289 Instead of a bride and groom, you'd be butt buddies.
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,416 We want to be treated equally!
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,542 You are equal.
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,253 It's just that instead of getting engaged,
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,964 you would be butt buddies.
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,133 And everyone is happy.
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,885 Well, what about lesbians?
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,471 Well, like anyone cares about fucking dykes.
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,474 [ Indistinct shouting ]
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:31,686 Oh, God. I was sure that would work.
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,730 Damn it, damn it!
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,274 Stan and Kyle's egg is still doing fine.
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,735 Those little assholes are screwing up my whole plan.
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:39,986 [ Knock on door ]
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,112 Yes? What?!
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,198 [ Door opens, closes ]
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,745 What the hell is this?
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,121 I broke the egg.
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,498 You broke your egg?!
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,250 But you're partnered with a girl!
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,584 I tried to cover it up --
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,419 tried to put it back together with modeling glue,
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,421 tried to seal it with a soldering gun -- but I give up.
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,049 I can't hide it. I broke the egg.
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,343 Did you tell anyone else about this?
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,719 No.
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,721 Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi?
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,223 No. That's why I'm here.
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,725 I think you should still give Heidi an "A" on the project.
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,061 You see, I broke the egg, not her.
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,022 And so I should get an "F" and she should get an "A,"
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,858 which means together the grade should average out
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,568 to a C-minus for both of us.
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,403 I can't do that, Eric.
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,904 Damn it! I knew you'd say that!
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,406 You always have it out for me!
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,866 You have to get an "A," Eric.
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,909 Here. I'll sign this new egg for you.
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,537 And we'll pretend this never happened, all right?
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123 Just put on the old hair, color in the same eyes.
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:34,666 There we go. Good as new.
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,377 Now go enjoy the rest of your recess.
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,715 Mr. Garrison...
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,342 you've never been this cool to me before.
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,635 Okay. Well, you're welcome, Eric.
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,470 Now just run along.
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,932 Why are you doing this?
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,269 Because I'm a nice teacher, all right?
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,437 What do you want from me?
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,938 Nothing! It's all okay!
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,065 Just take your damn egg!
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:01,735 No.
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,112 Eric, you've never been anything but a problem for me.
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,323 You're taking that egg, and if you break it again,
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,617 I'll break both your legs and burn down your house!
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,452 - Do you hear me?! - Yes, teacher.
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,038 Now get out of my face!
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,039 [ Door opens, closes ]
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,626 Ugh, this scientific study isn't turning out the way I planned!
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:21,254 Looks like I'm gonna have to...intervene.
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,343 [ Indistinct conversations ]
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,179 Are you Jakartha?
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,847 Who the hell are you?
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:31,973 Mrs. Garrison.
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,809 I spoke to your associates on the telephone.
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,977 Ah, yes.
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:39,230 You are interested in my services.
00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:43,151 I have a little problem I need taken care of.
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,736 I heard you're the best.
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:48,323 Who do you want me to kill?
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,206 What is this?
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,124 It's an egg.
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,377 You want me to kill an egg?
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,878 I can pay $2,000 now,
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,672 $3,000 more when the job is finished.
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,216 What do you expect me to do with it?
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,885 I don't care -- scramble it, fry it -- do what you will.
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:13,223 It has to look like an accident.
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,891 I am a serious assassin.
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,394 Get out of my face!
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,814 What's the matter? You afraid you can't do it?
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,232 Can't say that I blame you.
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:25,151 That egg has caused me nothing but problems since day one.
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:29,614 I guess you're not as good as they say you are.
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:33,034 I am the greatest killer the world has ever seen.
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,578 Then why are you scared of one little egg?
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:36,997 I will murder that egg,
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,666 and I will make it curse the day it was laid!
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,793 That's more like it.
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,049 Day five. I made it.
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,217 [ Telephone rings ]
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:49,884 Hello?
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,886 - Did you hear what's happening? - What?
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,471 Garrison is taking us on a field trip today.
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,806 He wants to do the final egg check
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,266 in front of the governor's office.
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,475 The governor's office?
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,269 He's really taking this grade seriously, Stan.
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,230 I'm gonna come over so we can take our egg to school together.
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,940 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,775 I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you.
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,819 Okay, Stan. You've been an asshole to me all week.
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:08,987 - What is up? - What's up?
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,406 Oh, nothing, except you've been trying to impress Wendy all week
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,824 like a pathetic dickhole!
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,867 Impress Wendy?
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,952 You've set it up to look like you're this awesome prince
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:16,995 and I'm just a loser.
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:18,455 What the hell are you talking about?
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,957 Well, guess what. I'm gonna take this egg to class myself.
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,084 And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy and say, "see?
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,712 I'm every bit as good as Kyle is."
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:27,172 [ Gunshot, glass breaks ]
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,717 Almost too easy.
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,595 [ Screaming ]
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,971 Stan?
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:38,475 [ Screaming ]
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,108 Stan?
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,526 Stan, I think we should talk.
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,654 Dude, you should just go be with Wendy and be happy.
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,114 Stan, I don't like Wendy.
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,325 All I cared about was getting an "A" on this stupid project.
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,868 Yeah. Well, I blew it.
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,496 Now we're gonna fail and Wendy thinks I'm a total loser.
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,414 I thought you didn't care about Wendy anymore.
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,583 I don't. She's totally lame.
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,420 Stan, there was never anything between Wendy and I.
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,756 I wouldn't go out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,716 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,510 I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Kyle.
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,012 I'm obviously just a crappy best friend to have.
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,890 Yeah. Well, I'm sorry I didn't trust you either.
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:19,599 Huh?
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,684 It was really important for me to get an "A,"
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,937 and Bebe said you were so reckless with your egg.
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,189 So I made a fake one for you...
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,608 and kept the original safe with me.
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,277 That's -- That's the real egg with Garrison's signature?
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,779 Yeah, dude. I'm sorry.
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,031 Then -- Then Wendy won't think I'm a total loser.
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,367 Yeah! And I can still get my "A."
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,160 Come on, buddy. Let's go.
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,286 Stan?
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,747 Do you really think my hat is stupid?
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,374 [ Music continues ]
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,126 As a matter of fact...
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:49,045 I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known.
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:52,715 Come on!
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,384 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,136 Today is a very big day
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,888 in which I'm supposed to make a very big decision.
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,891 As some of you know, my biggest issue with gay marriage
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,351 regards child-rearing.
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,562 And a new study has just been concluded
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,230 which will give me the ability
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:10,066 to take no personal responsibility in this decision.
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,609 A new study?
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:13,361 Here with the results of that study
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,072 is the lovely Mrs. Garrison.
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,407 Thank you, Governor.
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,993 Oh. Jesus Christ.
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,035 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,454 with the help of some adorable fourth-grade students,
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:27,000 we've completed our scientific, nonbiased study
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,543 of fags having kids.
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,837 Come on up, children.
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:34,674 The parents were grouped together as male and female.
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,717 As you can see --
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,596 Uh, Mrs. Garrison, you have an emergency phone call.
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,973 Yes. What is it? I'm a little busy!
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,516 - [ Horns honking ] - Mr. Garrison, it's Kyle.
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,810 Our egg is okay! We'll be there in a couple of minutes!
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,938 What? Y-You're...You're too late!
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,441 Don't fail us. We'll be right there!
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,860 No, you can't -- Hello? Hello?!
00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:55,945 You told me you killed that freak egg!
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,363 I was sure I did.
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,406 Well, it's here!
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,532 You'd better make damn sure
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,202 it doesn't reach these steps uncracked.
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:03,203 [ Chuckles ]
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,829 Anyhow, as I was saying,
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:08,583 we put one egg into the hands of two male students.
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,544 Thanks, dude!
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,463 There! Over there!
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,507 Excuse us! Excuse us, please!
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,343 Yaaaagh!
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,178 - [ Machine-gun fire ] - Jesus Christ!
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:22,222 - Just keep running! - MAN: Hey!
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,433 The -- The egg that the two boys were given does --
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,893 Hang on! Wait!
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,603 - Oh! - [ Beep ]
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,731 [ Explosions, crowd shouting ]
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,609 In conclusion, Governor, you can rest assured that --
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,069 Oh!
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:38,488 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,957 Teacher...our egg is...okay.
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,419 This egg is fine.
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,338 Gays can get married!
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:57,590 [ Cheering ]
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,803 No! No!
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,347 Gays can get married? What?
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,557 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,938 I now pronounce you man and man.
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,608 [ Cheers and applause ]
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,156 Boys, I'm really proud of you.
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,410 You've done an amazing thing for gay-marriage rights.
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,536 What did we do?
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,371 Stan, I'm sorry I doubted you.
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,790 You really made a great dad.
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:34,002 Like I give a crap about what <i>you</i> think, Wendy.
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,589 MR. GARRISON: ♪ Love -- Love lost long ago ♪
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,008 ♪ It was special then ♪
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,968 ♪ It's over now ♪
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:46,806 ♪ Guess that I'll never know how it all went wrong ♪
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,600 ♪ How? How? How? ♪
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:53,730 ♪ But perhaps I should try to boldly go ♪
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,606 ♪ And rekindle that love ♪
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:59,694 ♪ Lost long ago ♪

Скриншоты

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 1

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 2

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 3

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 4

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 5

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 6

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 7

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 8

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 9

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 10

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 11

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 12

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 13

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 14

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 15

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 16

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 17

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 18

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 19

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 20

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 21

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 22

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 23

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 24

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 25

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 26

Следи за яйцом! — скриншот 27