За два дня до послезавтра

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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Puh-pew!

Puh-pew-pew-pew-pew!

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Dude, you were right, Cartman.

00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,214

Your Uncle Roy has a sweet boat.

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Yeah.

Isn't this fun?

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Just you and me hanging out,

Stan.

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No stupid Kyle around.

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Man, I wish I could

really drive this thing.

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- You know how?

- Sure, I do.

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Well, here.

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Roy keeps the keys

in the glove box.

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Dude, I don't think your

uncle would want us driving it.

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Nobody's gonna know if we drive

it around the marina real quick.

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If anything happens,

I'll take full responsibility.

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Okay.

Turn on the ignition.

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Awesome.

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Okay.

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We're not moving.

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Maybe you have

the parking brake on!

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Boats don't have parking brakes,

dumb-ass.

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They only have...

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Oh, wait, wait.

Neutral button.

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- Aah!

- Aah!

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Other way!

Other way!

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- Aah!

- Aah!

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- BI-bl-bl-bl!

- BI-bl-bl-bl!

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Jesus Christ!

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Stan!

Beaver dam!

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Very large beaver dam, Stan!

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Aah!

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Oh, dude.

Oh, Jesus!

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Dude. Stan.

You are in serious trouble.

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You said

you'd take responsibility

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to your Uncle Roy.

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I don't even have an Uncle Roy!

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That was just some guy's boat

I knew about.

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- What?!

- Look. It's okay.

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We weren't here.

This didn't happen, okay?

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We were both at my house

all afternoon long

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playing tea party, okay?

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Now, come on!

We got to bail!

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Oh, God.

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I hope I didn't hurt

any beavers.

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Dude, come on!

We got to get out of here!

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With an eye on America

and all of today's events,

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it's "South Park Evening News,"

with Tom Pusslicker.

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Peril, crisis, and fear tonight

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as what appears to be

a massive flood

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has overtaken the town

of Beaverton, Colorado,

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home of the world's largest

beaver dam.

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Earlier today

a break in the beaver dam

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which protected the town

broke open,

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trapping people in their houses

and destroying their lives.

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Oh, my gosh.

Those poor people.

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Tom, I'm currently 10 miles

outside of Beaverton,

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unable to get inside

the town proper.

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We do not have any reports

of fatalities yet,

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but we believe

that the death toll

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may be in the hundreds

of millions.

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Beaverton has only a population

of about 8,000, Tom,

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so this would be

quite devastating.

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Any word on how the

survivors in the town are doing?

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W-We're not sure

what exactly is going on

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inside the town of Beaverton,

uh, Tom,

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but we're reporting

that there's looting, raping,

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and, yes,

even acts of cannibalism.

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My God. You've --

You've actually seen people

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looting, raping,

and eating each other?

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No. No, we haven't

actually seen it, Tom.

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We're just reporting it.

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You all done

with your fish sticks, Stan?

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I'll help you, Sharon.

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Boy, that's just awful.

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In the nearby town

of South Park,

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the cause of the Beaverton flood

is being investigated.

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That's right.

We know whose fault this is.

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Uh-oh.

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It's George Bush's fault!

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Yeah!

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George Bush doesn't care

about beavers!

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George Bush didn't break

that beaver dam.

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It was terrorists and al-Qaeda!

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They've been secretly building

beaver-dam WMDs for years now!

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- Yeah! That's right!

- Beaver dam WMDs!

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Mom? Dad?

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T-They're gonna go help

those people, right?

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I don't know.

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You know, to me, it seems like

the mayor of Beaverton

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should have done something

about that dam years ago.

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Don't blame the mayor, Sharon.

What about FEMA?

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I think this whole thing

is really their fault.

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Yeah, but, uh, s-somebody's

gonna help the people

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off their --

their rooftops, right?

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That's not important right now,

son.

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What's important is figuring out

whose fault this is.

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Dude -- Dude, did you see

the news last night?

00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,179

Yeah.

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You saw all those people

trapped on their roofs?

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Yeah.

That was pretty funny.

00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,812

Pretty funny?!

Dude, we did that!

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That was our fault!

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Hey, hey.

No, dog.

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We aren't the ones

who built a town

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beneath a giant beaver dam,

okay?

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That's their fault!

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But they're trapped now,

and nobody's helping them.

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Well, they should have

gotten out of there.

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Maybe they couldn't get out.

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We did.

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Dude, I-I just --

I don't know what to do here.

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I-I know what you're thinking,

Stan.

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You're thinking

you're gonna go tell Kyle.

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Look, I know you think

he's your best friend,

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but Kyle is a Jew rat.

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He has his Jew ethics, while

he hoards his greedy Jew gold,

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and he will Jew you out

if you tell him about this!

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- Hey, dudes.

- Oh. Hey, Kyle.

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Sorry I couldn't make it

yesterday.

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What did you guys do?

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Nothing.

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Totally.

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Hey, everybody,

they just found out

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what caused the flood

in Beaverton!

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Aw, crap!

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Quiet, children. Quiet.

We need to hear.

00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:05,282

At first, nobody knew

what caused the dam to break.

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But now shocking new evidence

has indicated

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that the flood in Beaverton

was caused by...

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global warming!

00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:20,589

It now appears that all rumors

of global warming were true.

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We were warned

this would happen, and...

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we didn't listen.

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We didn't listen!

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All the top Colorado geologists

have gathered

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at the governor's office

for an emergency meeting.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

if global warming has, in fact,

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already caused

the Beaverton flood,

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then this is only the beginning.

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The effects are going to spread.

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What we are looking at is

a global-warming catastrophe

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the likes of which

we've never seen.

00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:53,997

- Oh, peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,624

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,792

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,711

E-Excuse me, sir, but when?

00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,255

When is this going to happen?

00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,215

My colleagues

in the scientific community

00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,969

are still running tests,

but we believe it may happen...

00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,638

the day after tomorrow.

00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,848

Oh!

Peas and carrots!

00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,933

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,351

Uh, excuse me.

00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,186

I'm sure we're all

very impressed

00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,314

with your wild theories,

Dr., uh, Marsh.

00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,650

But the fact is

no statistical proof

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,736

has ever been confirmed

that global warming exists.

00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,865

Are you suggesting we shut down

the economy?

00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,827

With all due respect,

cliché dissenting Republican,

00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:36,373

the economy isn't going to

matter the day after tomorrow.

00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:37,624

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,251

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,420

Listen!

Listen!

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We finished running the tests.

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Global warming

is going to strike

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two days before

the day after tomorrow.

00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,681

Oh, my God.

00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,224

That's today!

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We didn't listen!

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Stan! Get in the car!

We have to evacuate!

00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,665

We didn't listen!

00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,590

Come on.

Come on!

00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,842

It's useless.

This traffic isn't moving.

00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,093

Dad, isn't it possible

00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,471

the flood wasn't caused

by global warming?

00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,264

I-I mean, the water

was held back

00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,433

by a giant beaver dam,

after all.

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No, Stan, I'm afraid us adults

just let you children down.

00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,562

We didn't take care

of our earth,

00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,439

and now you've inherited

our problems!

00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,857

We didn't listen!

00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,484

We -- We didn't listen!

00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,485

Come on!

00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,320

Everyone grab what you can.

We have to walk.

00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,912

Oh, Jesus!

Here it comes!

00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,288

Global warming!

00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,135

It's coming!

Here comes global warming!

00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,971

We didn't listen!

00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,439

Oh! Oh!

00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,816

BI-bl-bl-bl!

00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,402

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,321

Come on!

Hurry!

00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,783

It's right behind us!

00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,456

It's coming the other way!

00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,335

Go back!

Go back!

00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,046

Everyone into

the community center! Hurry! Go!

00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,048

Get inside!

We have to close these doors!

00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,474

Aah!

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,983

Come on. We've got to board up

that last window!

00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,401

Seal up all the doorways!

00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,237

We must try to protect ourselves

from the global warming!

00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,698

Mr. Garrison, are you all right?

00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,158

I'm in pretty bad shape.

00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,495

My leg is broken,

and my left boob is leaking.

00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,122

Here you go, sweetheart.

00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,333

Mom, you know,

those people in Beaverton

00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,667

are still trapped in the flood.

00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:26,668

I know.

00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,129

But I'm afraid

it's too late for them, sweetie.

00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,131

We have to try

and save ourselves now.

00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,051

Shh! Shh! We've got

the television working.

00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:38,847

This is a Fox News update!

Global Warming Disaster!

00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,933

Global warming appears

to have struck, as predicted,

00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,393

in the Colorado Rockies.

00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,688

All around the country,

panic and chaos are settling in.

00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,566

Tom, I'm standing

just outside of Chicago,

00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,984

where the panic

of global warming

00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,903

has already caused

countless deaths.

00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,864

Already we're reporting that

the death toll here in Chicago

00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,283

is over 600 billion people.

00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,204

Oh, God.

00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,623

This is all your fault, Jimbo!

00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,458

- Me?

- Yeah!

00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,502

You drive that damn S.U.V.

around!

00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,837

You didn't even think about

global warming, did you?!

00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,090

Can you believe it, Stan?

00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,842

I never thought global warming

could happen so fast.

00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,887

I guess...I didn't listen.

00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:23,308

Kyle, it...

it isn't global warming.

00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,518

Huh?

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,311

Global warming isn't happening

right now.

00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,189

It's -- It's not what caused

the Beaverton flood.

00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,649

How do you know that?

00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,777

Because I know what did cause

the flood.

00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,655

- George Bush?

- No.

00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,490

- Terrorists?

- No.

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,741

- Communists?

- No.

00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,618

- Chinese radicals?

- No.

00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,203

Cartman?

00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,246

Sort of.

00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,956

- Cartman flooded Beaverton?!

- Shh!

00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,332

Not -- Not exactly.

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126

We were messing around

on this guy's new boat,

00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,585

and Cartman egged me on, and --

00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,797

and I crashed it

into the Beaverton dam.

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,758

Dude, you have to tell everyone

right now!

00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,553

Hey, Stan.

00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,765

Oh, God damn it!

You told Kyle, didn't you?!

00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,892

Stan, people in Beaverton are

still trapped on their roofs.

00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,145

Nobody's helping because they

think they can't go outside.

00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,688

Oh, here we go.

See? I told you.

00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,273

If you're so caring, Kyle,

00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,858

why don't you share

some of your Jew gold

00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,151

with the people

caught in the flood?

00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,944

Look, maybe --

maybe we can help

00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,779

those people

in Beaverton ourselves.

00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,197

- How?

- Why?

00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,991

We can sneak out of here,

get a boat,

00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,409

and go help them

off their roofs.

00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:26,663

That way I can do the right

thing, but still lie about it.

00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,498

Listen!

Listen, everyone!

00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,917

Nobody can leave this building.

00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,421

But we need supplies --

food, silicone.

00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,715

You go outside, and you'll die.

00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,801

By now the global warming

has shifted the climate,

00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,428

bringing on a new ice age.

00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,221

Within the hour,

the temperature outside

00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:47,225

will fall to over

70 million degrees below zero.

00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,561

Jesus.

00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:53,023

All we can do is try to

wait it out as long as we can.

00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,983

And...the rest of the country?

00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,653

Everyone below this line

00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,405

will have to be evacuated

to the South.

00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,284

Everyone above this line

is already dead.

00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,077

People like us,

in the middle states,

00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,412

have to ride it out.

00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,581

The balmy Southwestern states

might have a chance,

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,541

but New York will have

tidal waves

00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,252

that envelop

all of the Northeast.

00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,138

What, Frank?

00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,812

Oh!

Oh, God damn it.

00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,361

Hello?

00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,446

Anybody?

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,825

We'd like to be rescued, please!

00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,286

Any day now.

00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,330

Why haven't they come for us?!

00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,083

I-I don't know.

00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,877

Wait! Look!

Here comes a boat!

00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,088

Really?

Oh, it's about time!

00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,090

Oh, Kevin!

We're saved!

00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,509

It looks like three little boys.

00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,928

Hey, we'll take it!

Over here! Yes!

00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,389

Thank you!

Thank you!

00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,573

Oh, thanks.

Thanks.

00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,032

That's a lot better.

00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,911

We can't get out!

The flames are too big!

00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,247

Oh, great.

You see, Stan?

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,457

This is what you get

for listening to Kyle.

00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,001

"Oh, you got to help

those people.

00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,003

It's your responsibility."

00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,212

Stan, it's over.

00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:42,382

You have to admit what you did

so our parents can help us.

00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,555

Stan?

00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,098

Stan?!

00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,726

Randy, we've looked everywhere!

Kyle's missing, too!

00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,978

Oh, my God!

Where would they go?

00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,522

Randy! Randy!

Your son's on the phone.

00:14:58,899 --> 00:14:59,900

Stan?

00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,693

Uh, hey, Dad.

00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,111

Stan, you're alive!

00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,988

Dad, we're --

we're trapped in Beaverton.

00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,865

We -- We were trying

to save everyone.

00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,451

Stan, listen to me.

You must stay indoors.

00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,660

Do not try to go out.

00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,246

Global warming has brought in

a new ice age!

00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,041

No. Dad, listen.

I need to tell you something.

00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,043

What is it, son?

00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,254

Nothing.

00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,923

Can you just come get us,

please?

00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051

You just stay put, son!

I'm coming for you!

00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,762

Do you hear me?!

I'm coming for you!

00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:33,767

Randy, w-where are you going?

00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,268

I'm going to Beaverton.

00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,771

You can't go out there.

You'll freeze to death!

00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,564

My son is counting on me.

00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,815

I'm going with you.

00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,692

You can't go out there.

You'll freeze to death!

00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,110

You can't do this alone!

00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,278

Let me go, too.

00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,239

You can't go out there.

You'll freeze to death.

00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,532

All right.

Come on, both of you.

00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:50,617

We've got to pull together

00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,411

every warm piece of clothing

we can find.

00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,471

Steven!

00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,100

Steven, you have to keep moving!

00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,060

I can't go on.

00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,146

Feel so...hot!

00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:24,192

Feeling warmth is a symptom of

the last stages of hypothermia!

00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,986

Oh, Jesus!

00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,113

I feel warm, too!

00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,447

Yeah, me too.

00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,367

Steven!

We've got to keep moving!

00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,828

We're in deep hypothermia,

all of us!

00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,706

We've got to keep

the blood flowing!

00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,500

Maybe we should

strip these jackets off

00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:44,504

a-and warm our bodies

next to each other!

00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,381

Don't be a fag!

00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,134

Come on!

We can make it!

00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,302

We have to try!

00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,475

Come on, people.

We're running out of time.

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,810

We need all Army helicopters

00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,812

to the Southern states

for evacuation now!

00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,523

Sir, more people in Beaverton

are calling.

00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,526

They say they're trapped

in floods and fire now.

00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,319

Tell them that the government

can't help them,

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:09,487

but that we're very sorry.

00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,655

You know the plan, people.

00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,241

We can only evacuate citizens

below this line.

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,493

E-Excuse me, General.

- What?!

00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,412

We've just compiled

some new information.

00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,247

The flood in Beaverton

wasn't caused

00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,707

by global warming after all.

00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:21,541

What?

00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:25,003

We know the truth now.

We know what caused it.

00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,173

Oh, my God.

00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,301

Quick!

Radio the helicopters!

00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726

Help!

Help!

00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,353

Dude, this whole building

is going to collapse!

00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,689

We have to find a way out!

00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738

Don't worry, everyone.

00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,990

The government is here

to save you.

00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,327

Oh, wow.

Thank you so much.

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,621

What a swift and speedy rescue.

00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,372

Come on!

We got to get to the roof!

00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,666

Oh, Jesus!

We have to hurry!

00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:05,919

I-It's helicopters!

00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,629

They finally came

to help everyone!

00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,006

Not so fast, Kyle.

00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,300

What are you doing?

00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,010

Hand over the gold.

00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,429

What gold?!

00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,014

You know what I'm talking about!

00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,934

No, Cartman, I have no idea

what you're talking about.

00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,895

All Jews carry gold in

a little bag around their necks.

00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,064

- Hand it over!

- Guys, come on!

00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:27,649

Jews do not carry gold

in a little bag

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,983

around their necks, Cartman.

00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,110

Stop playing around!

00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,362

I'm not playing around, Kyle.

00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,239

If we survive this, I don't

intend to live in poverty.

00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,573

Give me your Jew gold now!

00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,409

Dude, we don't have time

for your stupid jokes.

00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:39,410

We're gonna die!

00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,412

Yes, but you can live

if you give me your Jew gold.

00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,914

The decision is yours, Kyle.

00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,290

God damn it,

you know I don't carry gold

00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,750

in a little bag around my neck,

Cartman!

00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,835

What do you want from me?!

00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,130

I want your Jew gold.

00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,761

Okay. Fine.

Here!

00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,596

Now let's go!

00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,223

Do you think I'm stupid?

00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,559

I know all Jews carry fake bags

of gold around their necks

00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,435

to keep the real bags of gold

around their necks safe.

00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,771

Hand over the real Jew gold,

Kyle!

00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:18,032

No!

No-o-o!

00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,665

Hey!

Wait up, you assholes!

00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,000

God!

00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,799

Hey! Look, everybody!

Helicopters!

00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,385

T-They've got the boys!

00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,179

Global warming must be over.

00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,471

We made it!

00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,646

Stanley!

00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:49,856

Kyle!

00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,484

Stan?

00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,361

We found Stan!

00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,865

So does -- does this mean

the storm has passed?

00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,325

Global warming's over?

00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,119

Global warming didn't cause

the Beaverton flood.

00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:06,414

We know now whose fault it is.

00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,625

It was...crab people.

00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,294

Oh!

00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:15,381

♪ Crab people, crab people ♪

00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,133

- ♪ Tastes like -- ♪

- Stop it! Stop it!

00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:20,011

First it was terrorists, then

George Bush and global warming,

00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,346

and now you're all blaming

crab people

00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,264

for something

that's very simple.

00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,143

It's my fault.

I broke the dam.

00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,314

Aw, man.

00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,776

Stanley, you?

00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:35,777

No.

00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,904

Don't you see

what this child is saying?

00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,406

We can't spend all our energy

placing blame

00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:41,783

when something bad happens.

00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:45,286

He's saying

we all broke the dam.

00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,288

No.

I broke the dam.

00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,124

I broke the dam.

00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,710

I broke the dam.

00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,170

I broke the dam.

00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,713

No, I broke the dam.

00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,173

And I broke the dam.

00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,299

I broke the dam.

00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,468

I broke the dam.

00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,595

I broke the dam.

00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,222

I broke the dam.

00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,223

I broke the dam.

00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:07,517

I ran a boat into the dam,

and I broke it.

00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:08,810

I broke the dam.

00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:09,894

I broke the dam.

00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,229

I broke the dam.

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,605

I broke the dam.

00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,983

No! I broke the fucking dam!

00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,442

I broke the dam.

00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:17,986

I broke the dam.

00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,862

I literally broke the dam!

00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,155

I broke the dam.

00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,782

I broke the dam.

00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,784

On a boat that wasn't mine!

00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,244

I broke the dam.

00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:27,328

I broke the dam.

00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,372

I kept it secret for two days!

00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,748

I broke the dam.

00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,292

I broke the dam.

00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,836

The boat caught on fire,

and it exploded!

00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,587

I broke the dam.

00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:37,922

I broke the dam.

00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,924

Oh fuck it!

00:00:47,723 --> 00:00:52,313

Да...разве не прикольно? Только мы

вдвоем, Стен, без тупого Кайла рядом!

00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,343

Чел, как бы мне хотелось поуправлять ей

по-настоящему...

00:00:54,693 --> 00:00:55,383

А ты умеешь?

00:00:55,383 --> 00:00:56,563

Конечно умею!

00:00:56,693 --> 00:00:59,323

Ну тогда на!...Рой хранит ключи в

бардачке.

00:01:00,033 --> 00:01:02,443

Чел, я не думаю что твой дядя бы это

одобрил...

00:01:02,443 --> 00:01:02,483

Да никто не узнает. Мы просто по-быстрому

сгоняем вокруг пристани.

Чел, я не думаю что твой дядя бы это

одобрил...

00:01:02,483 --> 00:01:04,913

Да никто не узнает. Мы просто по-быстрому

сгоняем вокруг пристани.

00:01:04,913 --> 00:01:07,503

Слушай. Если что-нибудь случится, я

возьму всю вину на себя.

00:01:11,623 --> 00:01:13,793

Так...включаем зажигание...

00:01:14,963 --> 00:01:16,423

Шикарно...:)

00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,423

Таак....

00:01:21,443 --> 00:01:22,963

Мы не движемся.

00:01:27,063 --> 00:01:28,743

Может с ручника не снял?

00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:28,813

Дебил, у лодок нет ручника! У них есть

только...а стой! Она на нейтралке!

Может с ручника не снял?

00:01:28,813 --> 00:01:33,403

Дебил, у лодок нет ручника! У них есть

только...а стой! Она на нейтралке!

00:01:37,743 --> 00:01:39,513

Тормозиии!!!!! Тормози!

00:01:47,193 --> 00:01:48,253

Господи Исуси!

00:01:48,293 --> 00:01:50,743

Стен....Бобровая плотина!

00:01:52,163 --> 00:01:54,533

Очень большая бобровая плотина, Стен!

00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:15,883

Черт!...О, Господи!

00:02:17,223 --> 00:02:19,823

Черт, Стен! У тебя будут большие

проблемы!

00:02:20,973 --> 00:02:23,203

Ты сказал что возьмешь вину на себя перед

дядей Роем!

00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:26,943

Да у меня даже нет никакого дяди Роя! Это

была просто

лодка какого-то чувака, о которой я знал!

00:02:26,943 --> 00:02:27,553

Что?!

00:02:27,553 --> 00:02:27,573

Слушай, все нормально. Нас здесь не было

и ничего не случилось.

Что?!

00:02:27,573 --> 00:02:30,623

Слушай, все нормально. Нас здесь не было

и ничего не случилось.

00:02:30,623 --> 00:02:30,783

Мы оба весь день были у меня дома, играли

в "Чаепитие". А теперь пошли, нам надо

сваливать!

Слушай, все нормально. Нас здесь не было

и ничего не случилось.

00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:34,993

Мы оба весь день были у меня дома, играли

в "Чаепитие". А теперь пошли, нам надо

сваливать!

00:02:35,773 --> 00:02:38,443

Боже...надеюсь бобры не пострадали...

00:02:38,653 --> 00:02:40,273

Чел, пошли! Нам надо убираться отсюда!

00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:48,293

Взгляд на Америку и на все сегодняшние

события.

00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,613

Вечерние Новости Саус Парка. С Томом

Дыркососом (Pusslicker).

00:02:51,853 --> 00:03:02,813

Этой ночью, ужас, паника и страх

массивным потоком наводнили город

Бобруйск в Колорадо, где находится самая

большая бобровая плотина в мире.

00:03:03,543 --> 00:03:10,923

Сегодня, прорыв в этой плотине, которая

защищала город,

запирает людей в их домах и разрушает их

жизни.

00:03:11,603 --> 00:03:13,323

О боже, бедняги...

00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:19,453

Том, я сейчас нахожусь в 10 милях от

Бобруйска.

У меня нет возможности попасть в сам

город.

00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:26,173

У нас пока нет данных о жертвах, но по

всей видимости,

их количество исчисляется сотнями

миллионов

00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:31,073

Население Бобруйска составляет около 8

тысяч человек, так что потери

весьма и весьма существенны.

00:03:31,073 --> 00:03:31,273

Поступали ли какие-нибудь данные о

выживших, Митч?

Население Бобруйска составляет около 8

тысяч человек, так что потери

весьма и весьма существенны.

00:03:31,273 --> 00:03:33,923

Поступали ли какие-нибудь данные о

выживших, Митч?

00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:43,883

Мы не уверены, что именно происходит в

городе, но можем с уверенностью

сообщить, что там царит насилие, грабеж

и, да, возможны даже акты каннибализма.

00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:47,863

Боже мой, вы...ввы действительно видели

людей грабящих, насилующих

и пожирающих друг друга?

00:03:47,863 --> 00:03:52,173

Нет, мы в действительности не видели

этого, Том, мы просто сообщаем вам об

этом.

00:03:52,903 --> 00:03:54,823

Ты доел свои рыбные палочки, Стен?

00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:55,853

Я помогу тебе, Шэрон.

00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:57,833

Боже, это просто ужасно.

00:03:58,643 --> 00:04:03,433

В соседнем городке, Саус Парке, причины

наводнения в Бобруйске уже были выяснены.

00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:06,083

Да, это так! Мы знаем чья это вина!

00:04:07,393 --> 00:04:09,433

Это Джордж Буш во всем виноват!

00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:09,483

Да! Джордж Бушу плевать на бобров!

Это Джордж Буш во всем виноват!

00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,503

Да! Джордж Бушу плевать на бобров!

00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:17,523

Джордж Буш не мог взорвать плотину! Это

происки террористов и Аль Каеды!

00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:21,613

Они годами тайно создавали свое WMD чтобы

уничтожать плотины!

(прим: оружие массового поражения)

00:04:27,193 --> 00:04:31,133

Мам, Пап. Они ведь помогут тем людям, да?

00:04:31,133 --> 00:04:36,753

Я не знаю. Знаешь, мне кажется мэр

Бобруйска давным давно должен был

позаботиться об этой плотине .

00:04:36,753 --> 00:04:40,913

Не вини мэра, Шэрон. Что насчет МЧС?

Думаю это они во всем виноваты.

00:04:42,563 --> 00:04:46,763

Да но... ведь кто-то должен помочь этим

людям слезть с крыш их домов?

00:04:46,763 --> 00:04:47,603

Это сейчас не важно, сынок. Что важно, -

так это понять кто во всем этом виноват.

Да но... ведь кто-то должен помочь этим

людям слезть с крыш их домов?

00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:51,983

Это сейчас не важно, сынок. Что важно, -

так это понять кто во всем этом виноват.

00:05:01,263 --> 00:05:03,493

Чувак, ты смотрел новости вчера вечером?

00:05:03,493 --> 00:05:04,703

Ага!

00:05:04,703 --> 00:05:06,723

Ты видел тех людей на крышах?

00:05:07,293 --> 00:05:08,563

Ага, круто было.

00:05:09,863 --> 00:05:13,373

Круто?! Чувак, это же мы! Это НАША вина!

00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:19,803

Эй, вот и нет! Это не мы построили город

рядом с огромной бобровой

плотиной, ага? Это ИХ вина!

00:05:19,803 --> 00:05:21,963

Но ведь теперь они в ловушке и никто не

торопится им помогать!

00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:23,663

Ну, им следовало бы свалить оттуда!

00:05:23,663 --> 00:05:25,093

Может они не могут выбраться!

00:05:25,613 --> 00:05:26,803

Мы-то выбрались!

00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:30,753

Чел, я...я просто не знаю, что мне

делать.

00:05:30,753 --> 00:05:34,513

Погоди-погоди. Я знаю о чем ты думаешь,

Стен. Ты думаешь,

что должен рассказать обо всем Кайлу.

00:05:34,513 --> 00:05:37,643

Я знаю. Ты думаешь, что он твой лучший

друг. Но Кайл жидовская тварь!

00:05:37,643 --> 00:05:42,273

Он ведет себя как жид, копит свое

жидовское золото и, как последний жид,

он сдаст тебя, как только ты ему все

расскажешь.

00:05:42,273 --> 00:05:42,933

Здарова, пацаны!

00:05:44,825 --> 00:05:47,335

Жаль, что вчера я с вами не пошел. Че вы

делали-то?

00:05:49,055 --> 00:05:49,995

Мм..Ниче.

00:05:50,675 --> 00:05:51,705

Ага, абсолютно.

00:05:52,207 --> 00:05:55,537

Слушайте все! Они тока что выяснили,

отчего произошло наводнение в Бобруйске!

00:05:58,197 --> 00:05:59,117

Вот гавно!

00:06:00,717 --> 00:06:02,517

Тихо дети, тихо! Давайте послушаем.

00:06:02,657 --> 00:06:05,917

По началу, никто не знал, из-за чего

прорвало плотину.

00:06:05,917 --> 00:06:10,937

Но теперь, новые шокирующие

обстоятельства указывают на то,

что наводнение в Бобруйске было

вызвано....

00:06:11,727 --> 00:06:13,257

Глобальным Потеплением!

00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:20,407

Похоже на что, что все слухи о Глобальном

Потеплени оказались правдой.

00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:25,127

Нас предупреждали, что это произойдет.

Но....Мы не послушали!!!

00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,537

Мы не послушали!!!

00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:34,447

Все ведущие геологи Колорадо собрались в

белом доме для чрезвычайного совещания.

00:06:38,587 --> 00:06:45,797

Дамы и Господа, если Глобальное

Потепление уже вызвало наводнение

в Бобруйске, то это только начало.

00:06:45,797 --> 00:06:48,177

Процесс необратим.

00:06:48,557 --> 00:06:53,277

Перед нами катастрофа мирового масштаба.

Такого мир еще не видел.

00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:01,937

Простите, сэр. Но..когда? Когда это

случится?

00:07:01,937 --> 00:07:09,647

Мои коллеги все еще проводят

исследования, но...нам кажется это может

случиться

*ПОСЛЕЗАВТРА*.

00:07:13,617 --> 00:07:25,197

Извините, я уверен, все очень впечатлены

вашими безумными теориями,

доктор..эм...Марш, но факт в том, что

пока доказательств,

что Глобальное Потепление существует,

нет.

00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:28,187

Вы предлагаете остановить экономику?

00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:36,347

Со всем уважением, вечно несогласный

республиканец,

экономика не будет иметь никакого

значения...*ПОСЛЕЗАВТРА*

00:07:39,757 --> 00:07:43,947

Слушайте, слушайте! Мы закончили

испытания!

00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:49,107

Глобальное потепление наступит...За два

дня, до *ПОСЛЕЗАВТРА*

00:07:51,087 --> 00:07:54,537

О Боже....Это же Сегодня!

00:08:10,687 --> 00:08:11,957

Мы не послушали!!

00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:15,517

Стен, забирайся в машину! Мы должны

эвакуироваться!

00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:15,697

Мы не послушали!

Стен, забирайся в машину! Мы должны

эвакуироваться!

00:08:15,697 --> 00:08:17,117

Мы не послушали!

00:08:25,444 --> 00:08:26,914

Ну же, ну же!

00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:28,804

Это бесполезно! Машины не движутся!

00:08:29,244 --> 00:08:32,614

Пап, возможно ли, что наводнение не было

вызвано глобальным потеплением?

00:08:32,614 --> 00:08:36,554

Я имею в виду, воду все-таки сдерживала

гигантская бобровая плотина.

00:08:36,554 --> 00:08:42,894

Нет, Стен. Боюсь, мы просто подвели своих

детей. Мы не заботились

о нашей земле, и теперь вам приходится

отвечать за наши проступки.

00:08:42,894 --> 00:08:43,954

Мы не послушали!

00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:45,724

Мм, мы не послушали!

00:08:46,104 --> 00:08:48,714

Вперед, берите что сможете, нам придется

идти пешком!

00:08:54,654 --> 00:08:57,094

Боже мой! Оно здесь!

00:08:57,354 --> 00:08:58,564

Глобальное потепление!!!

00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,994

Оно наступает! Глобальное потепление уже

здесь! Мы не послушали!!!

00:09:30,374 --> 00:09:31,354

Ну же, поторопитесь!

00:09:33,194 --> 00:09:34,654

Оно прямо за нами!!

00:09:39,714 --> 00:09:41,244

Оно заходит с тыла!

00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,244

Назад, назад!!

00:09:45,944 --> 00:09:48,174

Все в клуб! Ну же, торопитесь!

00:09:48,174 --> 00:09:48,374

Заходите внутрь, мы должны закрыть двери!

Все в клуб! Ну же, торопитесь!

00:09:48,374 --> 00:09:50,034

Заходите внутрь, мы должны закрыть двери!

00:10:06,086 --> 00:10:08,156

Давайте, надо заделать последнее окно!

00:10:08,156 --> 00:10:12,286

Заприте все двери! Мы должны защититься

от глобального потепления.

00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,726

Мистер Гаррисон, вы в порядке?

00:10:14,966 --> 00:10:19,756

Мне очень плохо...Моя нога сломана, левая

сиська протекла.

00:10:21,076 --> 00:10:22,386

Держи, дорогой.

00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:25,956

Мам, знаешь...те люди, в Бобруйске, все

еще не могут выбраться.

00:10:25,956 --> 00:10:29,446

Я знаю, но боюсь для них уже слишком

поздно, дорогой.

00:10:29,446 --> 00:10:31,186

Сейчас мы должны позаботиться о себе.

00:10:31,186 --> 00:10:33,436

Чшш! Телевизор заработал!

00:10:33,436 --> 00:10:38,906

Это последние известия от FOX. Ужасы

Глобального Потепления.

00:10:39,578 --> 00:10:44,428

Как и ожидалось, глобальное потепление

ударило по скалистому Колорадо.

00:10:44,428 --> 00:10:47,468

По всей стране царит паника и хаос.

00:10:47,518 --> 00:10:53,808

Том, я нахожусь в Чикаго, где паника из-

за глобального потепления

послужила причиной бесчисленных смертей.

00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:59,218

Уже сейчас мы можем сообщить, что их

число превышает 600 миллиардов человек.

00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:03,068

Боже...

00:11:03,478 --> 00:11:05,338

Это ты во всем виноват, Джимбо!

00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:06,918

Я?!

00:11:06,918 --> 00:11:11,788

Да! Это ты тут гонял туда сюда на своем

внедорожнике,

ты и не задумывался о глобальном

потеплении, не так ли!?

00:11:12,194 --> 00:11:13,324

Ты можешь в это поверить, Стен?

00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:15,644

Я никогда бы не подумал, что глобальное

потепление наступит так быстро...

00:11:15,644 --> 00:11:18,984

Наверное...я просто не послушал!

00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:23,711

Кайл...это...это не глобальное

потепление.

00:11:23,711 --> 00:11:24,891

А?

00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:29,791

Глобальное потепление не происходит прямо

сейчас.

Это..не это вызвало наводнение в

Бобруйске.

00:11:30,201 --> 00:11:31,121

Откуда ты знаешь?

00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:34,111

Потому что, я знаю, что на самом деле

вызвало наводнение.

00:11:35,031 --> 00:11:36,161

Джордж Буш?

00:11:36,191 --> 00:11:36,771

Нет.

00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:38,361

Террористы?

00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:38,871

Нет.

00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:39,371

Коммунисты?

Нет.

00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:40,061

Коммунисты?

00:11:40,061 --> 00:11:40,691

Нет.

00:11:40,691 --> 00:11:41,381

Китайские радикалы?

00:11:41,381 --> 00:11:41,921

Нет.

00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:43,251

Картман?

00:11:43,251 --> 00:11:44,831

В некотором роде...

00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:46,361

Картман затопил Бобруйск?

00:11:46,361 --> 00:11:53,461

Чш! Нет, не совсем! Мы сидели

прикалывались в новой лодке того чувака.

Картман подбил меня, и я врезался в

Бобруйскую плотину.

00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:56,861

Чел, ты должен всем рассказать.

Немедленно.

00:11:58,591 --> 00:11:59,471

Эй, Стен.

00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,621

Твою мать ты рассказал Кайлу, да?!

00:12:04,621 --> 00:12:08,981

Стен, люди в Бобруйске все еще не могут

выбраться. Никто не может

им помочь, потому что все думают, что на

улицу нельзя выходить!

00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:14,951

Ну вот, видишь? Я же тебе говорил! Если

тебя это так заботит, Кайл,

почему бы тебе не поделиться своим

жидовским золотом с теми людьми?

00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:18,351

Слушайте, может...может мы сами сможем

помочь тем людям в Бобруйске?

00:12:18,351 --> 00:12:19,021

Как?

00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:19,991

Зачем?

00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:20,041

Мы можем незаметно улизнуть, взять лодку

и помочь

им выбраться оттуда.

Зачем?

00:12:20,041 --> 00:12:23,161

Мы можем незаметно улизнуть, взять лодку

и помочь

им выбраться оттуда.

00:12:23,161 --> 00:12:26,791

Таким образом, я смогу сделать доброе

дело,

и при этом всех обмануть.

00:12:27,671 --> 00:12:31,611

Слушайте, слушайте все! Никто не покинет

это здание!

00:12:31,681 --> 00:12:35,121

Но, нам нужны припасы, еда, силикон!

00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,151

Выйдешь на улицу - и ты труп!

00:12:37,151 --> 00:12:42,401

В настоящий момент, глобальное потепление

кардинально изменило климат. Наступил

новый Ледниковый Период.

00:12:42,401 --> 00:12:47,331

В течение часа, температура снаружи

упадет до отметки

в 70 миллионов градусов ниже нуля.

00:12:49,611 --> 00:12:50,441

Боже...

00:12:50,441 --> 00:12:53,831

Все, что мы можем, - оставаться внутри,

настолько долго,

насколько это возможно.

00:12:53,831 --> 00:12:55,761

А оставшаяся часть страны?

00:12:57,781 --> 00:13:01,201

Все, кто ниже этой черты, должны

эвакуироваться на юг.

00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:04,311

Те, кто выше этой линии...Они уже мертвы.

00:13:04,621 --> 00:13:08,001

Люди, которые, как и мы, находятся в

центре, должны выбираться отсюда.

00:13:08,001 --> 00:13:14,511

У юго-западных штатов еще есть шанс, но

Нью-Йорк захлестнут цунами,

окутав весь северо-восток.

00:13:23,721 --> 00:13:25,241

Что, Френк?

00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:31,691

Оа..а..твою мать!...

00:13:32,731 --> 00:13:36,891

Добро Пожаловать в Бобруйск!

Здесь находится самая большая бобровая

плотина в мире.

00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:41,751

Э-эй? Кто-нибудь?

00:13:43,271 --> 00:13:45,801

Не могли бы вы нас спасти...пожалуйста?

00:13:47,611 --> 00:13:49,091

Если не трудно, конечно.

00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,211

Почему никого нет?

00:13:51,721 --> 00:13:54,211

Я...я не знаю!

00:13:54,211 --> 00:13:56,791

Смотрите, лодка!

00:13:56,791 --> 00:13:58,861

Правда? Как раз вовремя!

00:13:58,861 --> 00:14:00,911

О, Кевин! Мы спасены!

00:14:00,911 --> 00:14:03,461

Похоже это....три маленьких мальчика!

00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:07,561

Эй! Мы здесь! Сюда! Спасибо! Спасибо!

00:14:23,451 --> 00:14:26,831

Оу, спасибо, спасибо! Так гораздо лучше!

00:14:28,651 --> 00:14:30,731

Нам не выбраться! Огонь слишком сильный!

00:14:31,511 --> 00:14:34,751

Ну, здорово! Видишь, Стен? Вот что

бывает,

когда слушаешься Кайла!

00:14:34,751 --> 00:14:38,501

"Ой, ты должен помочь этим людям! Это

твоя обязанность."

00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:42,501

Стен, все кончено. Ты должен во всем

признаться,

чтобы наши родители смогли нам помочь!

00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:50,301

Стен?? Стен!!

00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:53,621

Рэнди! Мы везде посмотрели! Кайл тоже

пропал!

00:14:53,621 --> 00:14:55,631

О боже! Куда они могли пойти?!

00:14:55,631 --> 00:14:58,041

Рэнди, Рэнди! Твой сын на проводе!

00:14:59,129 --> 00:14:59,829

Стeн??

00:15:00,519 --> 00:15:01,449

Эм..привет, пап!

00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:03,419

Стен, ты жив!

00:15:03,419 --> 00:15:06,809

Папа, мы застряли в Бобруйске. Мы..мы

пытаемся спасти всех!

00:15:07,079 --> 00:15:11,109

Стен, послушай меня! Ты должен оставаться

внутри!

Не пытайся выходить наружу!

00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:13,279

Глобальное потепление вызвало новый

Ледниковый Период!

00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:16,239

Нет, пап, послушай. Я должен тебе кое-что

сказать.

00:15:16,239 --> 00:15:17,509

Что, сынок?

00:15:20,942 --> 00:15:24,232

Ничего. Пожалуйста, забери нас отсюда.

00:15:24,622 --> 00:15:30,262

Держись, сынок! Я иду за тобой! Слышишь??

Я иду за тобой!!

00:15:32,579 --> 00:15:34,259

Рэнди, куда ты?

00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:35,259

Я отправляюсь в Бобруйск!

00:15:35,739 --> 00:15:38,369

Но ты не можешь уйти! Ты замерзнешь

насмерть!

00:15:38,369 --> 00:15:40,209

Мой сын верит в меня!

00:15:40,209 --> 00:15:41,309

Я пойду с тобой!

00:15:41,309 --> 00:15:43,349

Ты не можешь пойти! Ты замерзнешь

насмерть!

00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:44,649

Ты не можешь уйти один!

00:15:44,649 --> 00:15:45,989

Я тоже пойду с вами!

00:15:45,989 --> 00:15:48,329

Ты не можешь уйти. Ты замерзнешь

насмерть.

00:15:48,659 --> 00:15:52,829

Ладно, пошли, вы оба! Надо одеть всю

теплую одежду, какую сможем найти!

00:16:10,649 --> 00:16:11,669

Стивен!

00:16:13,679 --> 00:16:15,389

Стивен, надо продолжать двигаться!

00:16:15,739 --> 00:16:20,829

Я не могу идти! Мне так...жарко.

00:16:20,829 --> 00:16:24,609

Чувство жары - это симптом последней

стадии переохлаждения!

00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:28,309

О Боже! Мне тоже жарко!

00:16:28,309 --> 00:16:29,939

Да, мне тоже.

00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:35,399

Стивен! Мы должны продолжать двигаться! У

нас у всех сильное переохлаждение!

00:16:35,399 --> 00:16:37,389

Мы должны восстановать кровообращение!

00:16:38,499 --> 00:16:43,819

Может мы должны...снять всю эту одежду и

согреть наши тела,

прижавшись друг другу!

00:16:45,099 --> 00:16:46,679

Не будь пидором!

00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:51,329

Давайте! Мы можем сделать это! Надо

пытаться!

00:16:56,199 --> 00:17:01,499

Давайте, у нас мало времени! Нам нужны

все армейские вертолеты

для эвакуации Южных штатов! Сейчас же!

00:17:01,499 --> 00:17:07,119

Сэр! Снова звонят бобруйчане! Они

говорят, что кругом вода.

И Теперь она горит.

00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,099

Ответьте, что правительство не может им

помочь, но

нам очень жаль.

00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:13,799

Вы знаете план. Мы можем эвакуировать

людей ниже это линии.

00:17:14,149 --> 00:17:15,559

Извините, генерал?

00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:16,139

Что??

00:17:16,139 --> 00:17:21,589

Мы только что получили новые сведения.

Дело в том, что наводнение

в Бобруйске на самом деле не было вызвано

глобальным потеплением.

00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:22,159

Что?

00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:25,109

Теперь мы знаем правду. Мы знаем что

именно случилось.

00:17:27,029 --> 00:17:31,299

О Боже. Быстро! Свяжитесь с вертолетами!

00:17:37,204 --> 00:17:39,334

Помогите! Помогите!

00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:42,851

Черт, здание сейчас рухнет!

00:17:42,851 --> 00:17:44,011

Нам надо выбираться отсюда!

00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,901

Не волнуйтесь. Правительство спасет вас.

00:17:55,631 --> 00:17:59,821

Оу, уау! Спасибо вам большое! Чрезвычайно

оперативно!

00:17:59,821 --> 00:17:59,991

Ну же! Мы должны выбраться на крышу!

Оу, уау! Спасибо вам большое! Чрезвычайно

оперативно!

00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,271

Ну же! Мы должны выбраться на крышу!

00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,371

О, господи! Надо торопиться!

00:18:05,231 --> 00:18:07,521

Это вертолеты! Они наконец-то прилетели

нас спасать!

00:18:08,735 --> 00:18:10,195

Не так быстро, Кайл!

00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,275

Что ты делаешь?

00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:13,765

Давай сюда золото!

00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:16,595

Какое еще золото?

00:18:16,865 --> 00:18:18,125

Ты знаешь, о чем я.

00:18:18,955 --> 00:18:21,235

Нет, Картман! Я понятия не имею, о чем

ты!

00:18:21,515 --> 00:18:25,465

Все евреи носят золото в маленьких

мешочках вокруг шеи. Давай его сюда!

00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:26,585

Чуваки, пошли!

00:18:27,035 --> 00:18:30,405

Евреи не носят золото в маленьких

мешочках вокруг шеи, Картман!

Хватит шутить!

00:18:30,405 --> 00:18:36,135

Я не шучу, Кайл! Если мы выживем, я не

собираюсь жить в нищете!

Выкладывай свое жидовское золото!

00:18:37,435 --> 00:18:39,845

Чел, у нас нет времени на твои дурацкие

шутки! Мы можем умереть!

00:18:39,845 --> 00:18:43,215

Да, но ты можешь выжить, если отдашь мне

свое жидовское золото!

Выбор за тобой, Кайл!

00:18:43,215 --> 00:18:47,305

Твою мать, ты ЗНАЕШЬ, что я не ношу

золото в маленьком мешочке

вокруг моей шеи, Картман! Чего тебя от

меня нужно?!

00:18:47,305 --> 00:18:49,795

Мне нужно....Твое Жидовское Золото!

00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:57,903

Ладно, прекрасно! На!

Теперь пошли!

00:18:59,713 --> 00:19:04,713

Ты держишь меня за идиота? Я знаю, что

все евреи носят поддельные

мешочки с золотом вокруг шеи, чтобы

сохранить настоящие мешочки с золотом.

00:19:04,713 --> 00:19:06,613

Давай сюда настоящее Жидовское Золото,

Кайл!

00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,623

НЕЕЕТ!!

00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:26,943

Эй! Подождите меня, гавнюки, блин!

00:19:31,223 --> 00:19:34,173

Эй смотрите, это вертолеты!

00:19:36,013 --> 00:19:37,943

У них мальчики!

00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,563

Глобальное потепление кончилось!

00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:40,793

Мы сделали это!

00:19:48,013 --> 00:19:49,123

Стенли!

00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:49,183

Кайл!

Стенли!

00:19:49,183 --> 00:19:50,203

Кайл!

00:19:52,673 --> 00:19:53,873

Стен!!?

00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:55,873

Мы нашли Стена..

00:19:57,293 --> 00:20:00,743

Так это значит, что буря прошла?

Глобальное потепление кончилось?

00:20:00,743 --> 00:20:07,043

Это не глобальное потепление вызвало

затопление Бобруйска.

Но теперь мы знаем, кто за этим стоит.

00:20:07,043 --> 00:20:09,463

Это были...ЛЮДИ-КРАБЫ.

00:20:16,073 --> 00:20:17,473

Хватит, хватит!

00:20:17,473 --> 00:20:23,413

Сначала террористы, потом Джордж Буш и

Глобальное Потепление,

а теперь вы вините Людей-крабов, хотя на

самом деле все очень просто.

00:20:23,413 --> 00:20:24,413

Это моя вина!

00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:26,613

Это Я сломал плотину!

00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:30,963

Ну блииин....

00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:35,313

Стенли. Ты?

00:20:35,313 --> 00:20:45,343

Нет. Разве вы не видите, что пытается

сказать это дитя? Мы не можем

сваливать всю вину на кого-то другого,

когда происходит что-то плохое.

Он пытается сказать...Мы все сломали

плотину.

00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:47,363

Нет. Это я сломал плотину.

00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:49,773

Я сломала плотину.

00:20:51,253 --> 00:20:52,853

Я сломал плотину.

00:20:53,213 --> 00:20:53,853

Я сломал плотину.

00:20:55,043 --> 00:20:55,903

Нет, я сломал плотину.

00:20:55,903 --> 00:20:56,053

И я сломала плотину.

Нет, я сломал плотину.

00:20:56,053 --> 00:20:57,373

И я сломала плотину.

00:20:57,463 --> 00:20:58,953

Я сломал плотину.

00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,463

Хе..Я сломал плотину!

00:21:01,323 --> 00:21:03,033

Я сломал плотину.

00:21:03,383 --> 00:21:04,463

Я сломала плотину.

00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:08,083

Я сломал плотину. Я врезался в нее на

лодке и сломал ее!

00:21:08,083 --> 00:21:09,083

Я сломал плотину.

00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:10,093

Я сломал плотину.

00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,098

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,683

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,894

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,481

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:25,484

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,988

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:33,284

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:37,747

[ Imitating engines revving ]

00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,253

Puh-pew!

Puh-pew-pew-pew-pew!

00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,421

Dude, you were right, Cartman.

00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,214

Your Uncle Roy has a sweet boat.

00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,632

Yeah.

Isn't this fun?

00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,092

Just you and me hanging out,

Stan.

00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,761

No stupid Kyle around.

00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,929

Man, I wish I could

really drive this thing.

00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,848

- You know how?

- Sure, I do.

00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:56,932

Well, here.

00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,560

Roy keeps the keys

in the glove box.

00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,937

Dude, I don't think your

uncle would want us driving it.

00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,648

Nobody's gonna know if we drive

it around the marina real quick.

00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:07,276

If anything happens,

I'll take full responsibility.

00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,403

[ Water splashing ]

00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,823

Okay.

Turn on the ignition.

00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,784

[ Engine starts ]

00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:15,993

Awesome.

00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,203

Okay.

00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,165

[ Engine revs ]

00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,416

We're not moving.

00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,380

Maybe you have

the parking brake on!

00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,049

Boats don't have parking brakes,

dumb-ass.

00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,175

They only have...

00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,760

Oh, wait, wait.

Neutral button.

00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:35,679

[ Engine revving ]

00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,181

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,974

Other way!

Other way!

00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:43,979

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,398

- BI-bl-bl-bl!

- BI-bl-bl-bl!

00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:47,775

Jesus Christ!

00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,402

Stan!

Beaver dam!

00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,864

Very large beaver dam, Stan!

00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:54,865

Aah!

00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,368

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:05,376

[ Grunting ]

00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,925

[ Explosion ]

00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,095

Oh, dude.

Oh, Jesus!

00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:20,015

Dude. Stan.

You are in serious trouble.

00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,017

You said

you'd take responsibility

00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,018

to your Uncle Roy.

00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,520

I don't even have an Uncle Roy!

00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,355

That was just some guy's boat

I knew about.

00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,857

- What?!

- Look. It's okay.

00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,859

We weren't here.

This didn't happen, okay?

00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:32,069

We were both at my house

all afternoon long

00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,404

playing tea party, okay?

00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,072

Now, come on!

We got to bail!

00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,240

Oh, God.

00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,033

I hope I didn't hurt

any beavers.

00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,035

Dude, come on!

We got to get out of here!

00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,371

[ Birds chirping ]

00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,456

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,376

MAN: With an eye on America

and all of today's events,

00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,463

it's "South Park Evening News,"

with Tom Pusslicker.

00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,757

Peril, crisis, and fear tonight

00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:56,135

as what appears to be

a massive flood

00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:59,889

has overtaken the town

of Beaverton, Colorado,

00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,683

home of the world's largest

beaver dam.

00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,186

Earlier today

a break in the beaver dam

00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,313

which protected the town

broke open,

00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:10,524

trapping people in their houses

and destroying their lives.

00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,277

Oh, my gosh.

Those poor people.

00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,614

Tom, I'm currently 10 miles

outside of Beaverton,

00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:18,699

unable to get inside

the town proper.

00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,327

We do not have any reports

of fatalities yet,

00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:22,912

but we believe

that the death toll

00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,414

may be in the hundreds

of millions.

00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,834

Beaverton has only a population

of about 8,000, Tom,

00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,628

so this would be

quite devastating.

00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,505

TOM: Any word on how the

survivors in the town are doing?

00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,550

W-We're not sure

what exactly is going on

00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,177

inside the town of Beaverton,

uh, Tom,

00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,846

but we're reporting

that there's looting, raping,

00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,349

and, yes,

even acts of cannibalism.

00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,434

My God. You've --

You've actually seen people

00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,353

looting, raping,

and eating each other?

00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,980

No. No, we haven't

actually seen it, Tom.

00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,982

We're just reporting it.

00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,151

You all done

with your fish sticks, Stan?

00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,986

I'll help you, Sharon.

00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,780

Boy, that's just awful.

00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,032

TOM: In the nearby town

of South Park,

00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,910

the cause of the Beaverton flood

is being investigated.

00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:05,663

That's right.

We know whose fault this is.

00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:06,997

Uh-oh.

00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,666

It's George Bush's fault!

00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:09,583

Yeah!

00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,919

George Bush doesn't care

about beavers!

00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,630

George Bush didn't break

that beaver dam.

00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,757

It was terrorists and al-Qaeda!

00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:20,970

They've been secretly building

beaver-dam WMDs for years now!

00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,889

- Yeah! That's right!

- Beaver dam WMDs!

00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:28,060

Mom? Dad?

00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,771

T-They're gonna go help

those people, right?

00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:31,855

I don't know.

00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:34,024

You know, to me, it seems like

the mayor of Beaverton

00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,151

should have done something

about that dam years ago.

00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:38,570

Don't blame the mayor, Sharon.

What about FEMA?

00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:41,824

I think this whole thing

is really their fault.

00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:45,035

Yeah, but, uh, s-somebody's

gonna help the people

00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,745

off their --

their rooftops, right?

00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,455

That's not important right now,

son.

00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:52,293

What's important is figuring out

whose fault this is.

00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,879

[ Bell rings ]

00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:03,053

Dude -- Dude, did you see

the news last night?

00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,179

Yeah.

00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,307

You saw all those people

trapped on their roofs?

00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:08,642

Yeah.

That was pretty funny.

00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,812

Pretty funny?!

Dude, we did that!

00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,147

That was our fault!

00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:14,189

Hey, hey.

No, dog.

00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:16,150

We aren't the ones

who built a town

00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,068

beneath a giant beaver dam,

okay?

00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,236

That's their fault!

00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,405

But they're trapped now,

and nobody's helping them.

00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,282

Well, they should have

gotten out of there.

00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,409

Maybe they couldn't get out.

00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,077

We did.

00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,997

Dude, I-I just --

I don't know what to do here.

00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,957

I-I know what you're thinking,

Stan.

00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,751

You're thinking

you're gonna go tell Kyle.

00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,627

Look, I know you think

he's your best friend,

00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,046

but Kyle is a Jew rat.

00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,506

He has his Jew ethics, while

he hoards his greedy Jew gold,

00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,759

and he will Jew you out

if you tell him about this!

00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:43,802

- Hey, dudes.

- Oh. Hey, Kyle.

00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,596

Sorry I couldn't make it

yesterday.

00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,514

What did you guys do?

00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,641

Nothing.

00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,852

[ Chuckles ]

Totally.

00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,562

Hey, everybody,

they just found out

00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,397

what caused the flood

in Beaverton!

00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,983

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,401

Aw, crap!

00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,196

Quiet, children. Quiet.

We need to hear.

00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:05,282

TOM: At first, nobody knew

what caused the dam to break.

00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,410

But now shocking new evidence

has indicated

00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,163

that the flood in Beaverton

was caused by...

00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,207

global warming!

00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:14,958

[All gasp ]

00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:20,589

It now appears that all rumors

of global warming were true.

00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,509

We were warned

this would happen, and...

00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,469

we didn't listen.

00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,471

We didn't listen!

00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,517

All the top Colorado geologists

have gathered

00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,311

at the governor's office

for an emergency meeting.

00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,731

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:41,110

Ladies and gentlemen,

if global warming has, in fact,

00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,487

already caused

the Beaverton flood,

00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,656

then this is only the beginning.

00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,950

The effects are going to spread.

00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,702

What we are looking at is

a global-warming catastrophe

00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,746

the likes of which

we've never seen.

00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:53,997

- Oh, peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,624

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,792

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,711

E-Excuse me, sir, but when?

00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,255

When is this going to happen?

00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,215

My colleagues

in the scientific community

00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,969

are still running tests,

but we believe it may happen...

00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,638

the day after tomorrow.

00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,848

Oh!

Peas and carrots!

00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,933

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,351

Uh, excuse me.

00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,186

I'm sure we're all

very impressed

00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,314

with your wild theories,

Dr., uh, Marsh.

00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,650

But the fact is

no statistical proof

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,736

has ever been confirmed

that global warming exists.

00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,865

Are you suggesting we shut down

the economy?

00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,827

With all due respect,

cliché dissenting Republican,

00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:36,373

the economy isn't going to

matter the day after tomorrow.

00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:37,624

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,251

- Peas and carrots!

- Peas and carrots!

00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,420

Listen!

Listen!

00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,839

We finished running the tests.

00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,799

Global warming

is going to strike

00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:49,678

two days before

the day after tomorrow.

00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,681

Oh, my God.

00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,224

That's today!

00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,061

[All screaming ]

00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,109

[All screaming ]

00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,115

[All screaming ]

00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,035

We didn't listen!

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,913

Stan! Get in the car!

We have to evacuate!

00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,665

We didn't listen!

00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:21,293

[ Horns honking,

indistinct shouting ]

00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,214

[ Horn honks ]

00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,590

Come on.

Come on!

00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,842

It's useless.

This traffic isn't moving.

00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,093

Dad, isn't it possible

00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,471

the flood wasn't caused

by global warming?

00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,264

I-I mean, the water

was held back

00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,433

by a giant beaver dam,

after all.

00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:39,311

No, Stan, I'm afraid us adults

just let you children down.

00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,562

We didn't take care

of our earth,

00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,439

and now you've inherited

our problems!

00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,857

MAN:

We didn't listen!

00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,484

We -- We didn't listen!

00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,485

Come on!

00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,320

Everyone grab what you can.

We have to walk.

00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,073

[ Crowd shouting ]

00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,912

Oh, Jesus!

Here it comes!

00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,288

Global warming!

00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,414

[All screaming ]

00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,125

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,135

MAN: It's coming!

Here comes global warming!

00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,971

We didn't listen!

00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,306

[ Music continues ]

00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,439

Oh! Oh!

00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,816

BI-bl-bl-bl!

00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,402

BI-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!

00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,321

Come on!

Hurry!

00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,990

[All screaming ]

00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,783

MAN:

It's right behind us!

00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,994

[ Music continues ]

00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:39,288

[ Screaming continues ]

00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,456

MAN:

It's coming the other way!

00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,335

Go back!

Go back!

00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,046

Everyone into

the community center! Hurry! Go!

00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,048

Get inside!

We have to close these doors!

00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,093

[ Music continues ]

00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,474

Aah!

00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,143

[ Doors lock ]

00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,230

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,983

Come on. We've got to board up

that last window!

00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,401

Seal up all the doorways!

00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,237

We must try to protect ourselves

from the global warming!

00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,698

Mr. Garrison, are you all right?

00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,158

I'm in pretty bad shape.

00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:20,495

My leg is broken,

and my left boob is leaking.

00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,122

Here you go, sweetheart.

00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,333

Mom, you know,

those people in Beaverton

00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,667

are still trapped in the flood.

00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:26,668

I know.

00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,129

But I'm afraid

it's too late for them, sweetie.

00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,131

We have to try

and save ourselves now.

00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,051

Shh! Shh! We've got

the television working.

00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:38,847

MAN: This is a Fox News update!

Global Warming Disaster!

00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,933

Global warming appears

to have struck, as predicted,

00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,393

in the Colorado Rockies.

00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,688

All around the country,

panic and chaos are settling in.

00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,566

Tom, I'm standing

just outside of Chicago,

00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,984

where the panic

of global warming

00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,903

has already caused

countless deaths.

00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,864

Already we're reporting that

the death toll here in Chicago

00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,283

is over 600 billion people.

00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,576

[ Insects chirping ]

00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,204

- [ Dramatic music plays ]

- Oh, God.

00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,623

This is all your fault, Jimbo!

00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,458

- Me?

- Yeah!

00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,502

You drive that damn S.U.V.

around!

00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,837

You didn't even think about

global warming, did you?!

00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,090

Can you believe it, Stan?

00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,842

I never thought global warming

could happen so fast.

00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,887

I guess...I didn't listen.

00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:23,308

Kyle, it...

it isn't global warming.

00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,518

Huh?

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,311

Global warming isn't happening

right now.

00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,189

It's -- It's not what caused

the Beaverton flood.

00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,649

How do you know that?

00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,777

Because I know what did cause

the flood.

00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,655

- George Bush?

- No.

00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,490

- Terrorists?

- No.

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:39,741

- Communists?

- No.

00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,618

- Chinese radicals?

- No.

00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,203

Cartman?

00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,246

Sort of.

00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,956

- Cartman flooded Beaverton?!

- Shh!

00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,332

Not -- Not exactly.

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126

We were messing around

on this guy's new boat,

00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,585

and Cartman egged me on, and --

00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,797

and I crashed it

into the Beaverton dam.

00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,758

Dude, you have to tell everyone

right now!

00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,553

Hey, Stan.

00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,765

Oh, God damn it!

You told Kyle, didn't you?!

00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,892

Stan, people in Beaverton are

still trapped on their roofs.

00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,145

Nobody's helping because they

think they can't go outside.

00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,688

Oh, here we go.

See? I told you.

00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,273

If you're so caring, Kyle,

00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,858

why don't you share

some of your Jew gold

00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,151

with the people

caught in the flood?

00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,944

Look, maybe --

maybe we can help

00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,779

those people

in Beaverton ourselves.

00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,197

- How?

- Why?

00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,991

We can sneak out of here,

get a boat,

00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,409

and go help them

off their roofs.

00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:26,663

That way I can do the right

thing, but still lie about it.

00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,498

Listen!

Listen, everyone!

00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,917

Nobody can leave this building.

00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,421

But we need supplies --

food, silicone.

00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,715

You go outside, and you'll die.

00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,801

By now the global warming

has shifted the climate,

00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,428

bringing on a new ice age.

00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,221

Within the hour,

the temperature outside

00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:47,225

will fall to over

70 million degrees below zero.

00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,561

Jesus.

00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:53,023

All we can do is try to

wait it out as long as we can.

00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,983

And...the rest of the country?

00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,068

[ Sighs ]

00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,653

Everyone below this line

00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,405

will have to be evacuated

to the South.

00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,284

Everyone above this line

is already dead.

00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,077

People like us,

in the middle states,

00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,412

have to ride it out.

00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,581

The balmy Southwestern states

might have a chance,

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,541

but New York will have

tidal waves

00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,252

that envelop

all of the Northeast.

00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,302

[ Snorts ]

00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,138

What, Frank?

00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:28,308

[ Snorts ]

00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,812

Oh!

Oh, God damn it.

00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,731

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,361

Hello?

00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,446

Anybody?

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,825

We'd like to be rescued, please!

00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,286

Any day now.

00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,330

Why haven't they come for us?!

00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,083

I-I don't know.

00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,877

Wait! Look!

Here comes a boat!

00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,088

Really?

Oh, it's about time!

00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,090

Oh, Kevin!

We're saved!

00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,509

It looks like three little boys.

00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,928

Hey, we'll take it!

Over here! Yes!

00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,389

Thank you!

Thank you!

00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:11,142

[ Engine roaring,

boys screaming ]

00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,812

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,573

Oh, thanks.

Thanks.

00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,032

That's a lot better.

00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,911

We can't get out!

The flames are too big!

00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,247

Oh, great.

You see, Stan?

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,457

This is what you get

for listening to Kyle.

00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,001

"Oh, you got to help

those people.

00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,003

It's your responsibility."

00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,212

Stan, it's over.

00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:42,382

You have to admit what you did

so our parents can help us.

00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,555

Stan?

00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,098

Stan?!

00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,726

Randy, we've looked everywhere!

Kyle's missing, too!

00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,978

Oh, my God!

Where would they go?

00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,522

Randy! Randy!

Your son's on the phone.

00:14:58,899 --> 00:14:59,900

Stan?

00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,693

Uh, hey, Dad.

00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,111

Stan, you're alive!

00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,988

Dad, we're --

we're trapped in Beaverton.

00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,865

We -- We were trying

to save everyone.

00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,451

Stan, listen to me.

You must stay indoors.

00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,660

Do not try to go out.

00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,246

Global warming has brought in

a new ice age!

00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,041

No. Dad, listen.

I need to tell you something.

00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:18,043

[ Voice breaking ]

What is it, son?

00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,254

Nothing.

00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,923

Can you just come get us,

please?

00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,051

You just stay put, son!

I'm coming for you!

00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,762

Do you hear me?!

I'm coming for you!

00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,847

[ Groans ]

00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:33,767

Randy, w-where are you going?

00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,268

I'm going to Beaverton.

00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,771

You can't go out there.

You'll freeze to death!

00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,564

My son is counting on me.

00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,815

I'm going with you.

00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,692

You can't go out there.

You'll freeze to death!

00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,110

You can't do this alone!

00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,278

Let me go, too.

00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,239

You can't go out there.

You'll freeze to death.

00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,532

All right.

Come on, both of you.

00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:50,617

We've got to pull together

00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,411

every warm piece of clothing

we can find.

00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,622

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,797

[ Groaning ]

00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,134

[ Groans ]

00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,928

[ Groans ]

00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,471

Steven!

00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,139

[ Groaning ]

00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,100

Steven, you have to keep moving!

00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,060

I can't go on.

00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,146

Feel so...hot!

00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:24,192

Feeling warmth is a symptom of

the last stages of hypothermia!

00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,986

Oh, Jesus!

00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,113

I feel warm, too!

00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,447

Yeah, me too.

00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,367

Steven!

We've got to keep moving!

00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,828

We're in deep hypothermia,

all of us!

00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,706

We've got to keep

the blood flowing!

00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,500

Maybe we should

strip these jackets off

00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:44,504

a-and warm our bodies

next to each other!

00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,381

Don't be a fag!

00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,134

Come on!

We can make it!

00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,302

We have to try!

00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,473

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,475

Come on, people.

We're running out of time.

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,810

We need all Army helicopters

00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,812

to the Southern states

for evacuation now!

00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,523

Sir, more people in Beaverton

are calling.

00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,526

They say they're trapped

in floods and fire now.

00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,319

Tell them that the government

can't help them,

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:09,487

but that we're very sorry.

00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,655

You know the plan, people.

00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,241

We can only evacuate citizens

below this line.

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,493

- MAN: E-Excuse me, General.

- What?!

00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,412

We've just compiled

some new information.

00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,247

The flood in Beaverton

wasn't caused

00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,707

by global warming after all.

00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:21,541

What?

00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:25,003

We know the truth now.

We know what caused it.

00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,173

Oh, my God.

00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,301

Quick!

Radio the helicopters!

00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,263

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726

Help!

Help!

00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,353

Dude, this whole building

is going to collapse!

00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,689

We have to find a way out!

00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,109

[ Music continues ]

00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738

Don't worry, everyone.

00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,990

The government is here

to save you.

00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,327

Oh, wow.

Thank you so much.

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,621

What a swift and speedy rescue.

00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,372

Come on!

We got to get to the roof!

00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,666

Oh, Jesus!

We have to hurry!

00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:05,919

I-It's helicopters!

00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,629

They finally came

to help everyone!

00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,006

Not so fast, Kyle.

00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,300

- [ Dramatic music plays ]

- What are you doing?

00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,010

Hand over the gold.

00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,429

What gold?!

00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,014

You know what I'm talking about!

00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,934

No, Cartman, I have no idea

what you're talking about.

00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,895

All Jews carry gold in

a little bag around their necks.

00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,064

- Hand it over!

- Guys, come on!

00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:27,649

Jews do not carry gold

in a little bag

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,983

around their necks, Cartman.

00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,110

Stop playing around!

00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,362

I'm not playing around, Kyle.

00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,239

If we survive this, I don't

intend to live in poverty.

00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,573

Give me your Jew gold now!

00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,658

[ Rumbling ]

00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,409

Dude, we don't have time

for your stupid jokes.

00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:39,410

We're gonna die!

00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,412

Yes, but you can live

if you give me your Jew gold.

00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,914

The decision is yours, Kyle.

00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,290

God damn it,

you know I don't carry gold

00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,750

in a little bag around my neck,

Cartman!

00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,835

What do you want from me?!

00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,130

- I want your Jew gold.

- [ Gun cocks ]

00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,132

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,761

Okay. Fine.

Here!

00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,596

Now let's go!

00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,223

Do you think I'm stupid?

00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,559

I know all Jews carry fake bags

of gold around their necks

00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,435

to keep the real bags of gold

around their necks safe.

00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,771

Hand over the real Jew gold,

Kyle!

00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,524

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,319

[ Laughs ]

00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:18,032

No!

No-o-o!

00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,665

Hey!

Wait up, you assholes!

00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,000

God!

00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,879

[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,799

Hey! Look, everybody!

Helicopters!

00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,385

T-They've got the boys!

00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,179

Global warming must be over.

00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,471

We made it!

00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:43,099

[All cheering ]

00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,646

Stanley!

00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:49,856

Kyle!

00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,484

[ Weakly ]

Stan?

00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,361

We found Stan!

00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,487

[ Groans ]

00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,865

So does -- does this mean

the storm has passed?

00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,325

Global warming's over?

00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,119

Global warming didn't cause

the Beaverton flood.

00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:06,414

We know now whose fault it is.

00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,625

It was...crab people.

00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,043

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,294

ALL:

Oh!

00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:15,381

CRAB PEOPLE:

♪ Crab people, crab people ♪

00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,133

- ♪ Tastes like -- ♪

- Stop it! Stop it!

00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:20,011

First it was terrorists, then

George Bush and global warming,

00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,346

and now you're all blaming

crab people

00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,264

for something

that's very simple.

00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,143

It's my fault.

I broke the dam.

00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,314

Aw, man.

00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,776

Stanley, you?

00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:35,777

No.

00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,904

Don't you see

what this child is saying?

00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,406

We can't spend all our energy

placing blame

00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:41,783

when something bad happens.

00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:45,286

He's saying

we all broke the dam.

00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,288

No.

I broke the dam.

00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,124

I broke the dam.

00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,710

I broke the dam.

00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,170

I broke the dam.

00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,713

No, I broke the dam.

00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,173

And I broke the dam.

00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,299

I broke the dam.

00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,468

[ Chuckles ]

I broke the dam.

00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,595

I broke the dam.

00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,222

I broke the dam.

00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,223

I broke the dam.

00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:07,517

I ran a boat into the dam,

and I broke it.

00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:08,810

I broke the dam.

00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:09,894

I broke the dam.

00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,229

WOMAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,605

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,983

STAN:

No! I broke the fucking dam!

00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,442

WOMAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:17,986

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,862

STAN:

I literally broke the dam!

00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,155

WOMAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,782

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,784

STAN:

On a boat that wasn't mine!

00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,244

MAN: I broke the dam.

00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:27,328

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,372

STAN:

I kept it secret for two days!

00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,748

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,292

WOMAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,836

STAN: The boat caught on fire,

and it exploded!

00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,587

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:37,922

MAN:

I broke the dam.

00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,924

STAN:

Oh fuck it!

00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:44,470

[ Dramatic music plays ]