Всё ради поражения

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Перевод by Я@R

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Тайминг by Terrart

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Ну все, Стэн.

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Если ты забьешь страйк этому парню, мы все отправимся домой.

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Теперь выходит Бэттер Конифера - маленький Алан Баркас.

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Хей, бэттербеттербеттер-никакой, не попал не попал не попал...

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Выбей его за пределы поля, Алан! Саут Парк отсосет!

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Только посмотри на этих мальчиков, они любят бейсбол как мы когда-то, когда были детьми.

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О, Боже, мне так скучно.

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Я вижу божью коровку - Привет божья коровка.

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Страйк.

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Это никакой не страйк! Что, черт возьми, не так с тобой, рефери?

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Хорошее решенье, Реф! Хорошее решенье!

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Давай, Алан! Этот питчер бросает как девчонка!

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Что ты сказал?!

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Ты слышал меня, говнюк!

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Ты хочешь, чтобы я надрал тебе задницу прямо здесь?!

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Рэнди, сядь.

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Ты хочешь что-то от меня?!

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Я уже сыт по горло твоим чертовым ртом!

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Что сделаешь, а? Ну, что ты сделаешь?

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Ну, что ты сделаешь?

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Рэнди, нет!

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Тебе лучше замолчать, говнюк!

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Я стою прямо здесь! Как ты собираешься справиться со мной?

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Я сказал тебе ЗАМОЛЧАТЬ!

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О, Иисус, только не опять.

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Давай, Стэн! Только забей страйк этому пацану, и мы можем закончить сезон!

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Третий страйк! Вы выбыли!

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Да! Это конец! Это конец!

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Вот и все. Южный Парк выигрывает игру со счетом 4:0

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Мы сделали! Никакого бейсбола!

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Никакого больше скучного бейсбола до следующего года!

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Мы можем снова Веселиться!

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Хорошо, мы сделали это! Мы сделали это! Мы сделали это!

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Да, мы сделали это, мальчики! Мы сделали это! Мы попали в финал!

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... Что?

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Мы победили! Это значит, что у нас лучшие результаты в подгруппе!

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Поздравляем, мальчики! Вы отправляетесь в постсезон.

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Постсезон?

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Нам никто не говорил о постсезоне.

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Больше бейсбола для детской лиги Саут Парка!

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Нет....

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Нееееееет!!!

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Это за что?! Арестовать меня, за что?!

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Мне нельзя защищать себя?! Я думал, что это Америка!

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Ха?! Разве это не Америка?! Мне жаль, я думал, что это Америка!

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Я не могу поверить в это.

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Я не могу поверить, что мы должны продолжить играть.

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Никто не сказал нам, что если мы выигрываем много игр, мы должны оправиться в финал!

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Слушайте, парни, возможно не все так плохо.

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Не все так плохо??

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Как ты мог сказать это?! Ты ненавидишь эту игру больше чем любой из нас!

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Я знаю, но слушайте...

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... финалы устроены по принципу исключения, так?

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Это означает, как только мы проиграем одну игру, наш сезон закончен.

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Хорошо, но ... мы обычно побеждаем.

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Все другие команды хуже чем мы.

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Да. Посмотрим правде в лицо,

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Мы - победители.

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Я знаю, что мы сможем проиграть, если мы попробуем.

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Ты имеешь в виду, бросить игру?

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Ты знаешь, как наши родители относятся к этому спорту.

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Да. Мой папа всегда говорил, что "Проиграть - это нормально, но если ты не старался, ты наказан, мистер."

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Да...

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Хорошо... тогда мы скажем другой команде, что мы готовы проиграть,

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А сами будем делать вид, что стараемся победить.

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Наши родители никогда ничего не узнают.

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Мы должны надеяться, что они никогда не узнают, иначе мы очень сильно заплатим.

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СИЛЬНО, я сказал!

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Мальчики были на высоте, не так ли?!

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Да, наши мальчики не сдались им!

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Ты вышел.

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Какой был залог на сей раз?

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Сотня долларов, не большое дело.

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Парень, ты действительно выбил дерьмо из того Кониферского папы.

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Да, кто - то должен был поставить этого болвана на место.

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Да, ну, в общем, ты будь осторожней в решающих играх.

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Что ты имеешь в виду?

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Я о том, что ты всегда ввязываешься в борьбу с самым ярым жлобом здесь в горах,

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Но некоторые из пап Второй подгруппы реально жесткие!

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Да, те папы ДЕЙСТВИТЕЛЬНО пьяны и отвратительны.

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Я могу драться с любым. Мне только нужна тренировка.

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Я должен только привести себя в лучшую форму в моей жизни.

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Как попало в Белом Альбоме Битлз. Хорошо.

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Мы хотим поприветствовать всех родителей Южного Парка

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в Форт Колинсе на Решающих играх

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детской лиги первой подгруппы.

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Эй, парни, смотрите, мы не хотим выигрывать,

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так, что вот список всех подач, которые я собираюсь делать, по порядку.

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Я так не думаю, Саут Парк

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Ага, Вы думаете, что мы хотим победить?

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Тогда мы должны будем продолжать играть в эту скучную игру!

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Вы тоже ненавидите эту игру?

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Да! Когда мы выиграли глупый региональный сезон, должны теперь играть в этот паршивый турнир!

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Мы хотим играть в видеоигры.

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О нет!

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Смотрите! Мы собираемся проиграть сегодня вечером, хорошо?!

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Я так не думаю!

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Нет такого способа, которым вы можете проиграть нам!

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Мы потерпим неудачу! Мы будем размазаны!

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Нет, это мы собираемся быть размазанными!

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посмотрим, посмотрим!

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-О да? -Да!

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О парни действительно собрались оторвать им головы.

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Да! Давай, Саут Парк!

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Дети Форт Колинса не получат ни чего!

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Давай, Форт Колинс! Надерите им задницу! Да!

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полагаю, это - мой парень.

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Я наваляю ему без проблем.

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Давай, Выбей его за поле!

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Начинает от Форт колинса... Морган Прат.

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Выбей его за поле, Морган!

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Размажь это говно!

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Сссстрайк!

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Черт!

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Давай, парень, ты должен хоть чуть-чуть ударить по мячу.

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Ни за что! Я пропускаю страйк!

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Чувак, он не собирается бить! Так что просто бросай не в зону.

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Пусть он пойдет к первой базе.

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"Бол!"

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Хорошо!

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Морган!

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Что?

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Ты должен махать, тогда это просто "Бол", а то, тебе придется идти к первой базе.

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Не взмахивай, только если мяч идет на страйк!

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Да, Сэм, но как, черт, я могу знать, собирается ли он бросить страйк или Бол?!

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Ты должен угадать.

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О, господи!

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Яйца.... Бол.

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Второй страйк!

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Нет!

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Это не был страйк, это была ужасная подача!

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Тебе необходима Чертова лазерная хирургия!

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Даббивай, Саут Парк! Они ваще не могу отбивать!

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Давай Форт Колинс! Эта команда не может подавать!

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Твой черед, Морган! беги, беги, беги!

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А, дерьмо!

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Какого черта ты отбил его?!

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Да я думал, что он собрался бросать бол - не в зону!

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Третий страйк! Ты выходишь!

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Хорошо!

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Четвертый бол!

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Что?!

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Иди к первой!

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А, черт подери!

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Сэйв! фигня!

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Форт Колинс не умеет играть!

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Почему бы тебе не завалить свой рот прежде, чем я надеру тебе задницу!

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Давай, начинай! Я - здесь!

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Рэнди ...

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Сядь, пока я не навалял тебе!

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Сукин сын!

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Твою мать!

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Третий страйк!

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Вот и все. Саут Парк выигрывает игру.

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тьфу!

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О, мне жаль! Я думал, что это Америка! Разве это не Америка?!

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Мне жаль, я думал, что это Америка!

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Третий страйк. Вы выходите.

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Черт подери Брайен, бей!

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Гриили отсос! Гриили отсос!

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Четвертый бол!

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Ай гамбургеры.

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Твою...! Третий Страйк!

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Какого черта, это был страйк?! Черт возьми, Он пошел к первой базе!

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Это что Коммунистическая страна или что?!

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Я думал, что это Америка!

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Трррэтий Стайк!

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Bueno bueno! Bueno! Espectacular!

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Маладэц Пуэбло! Вива ля Пуэбло!

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Пуэбло, не маладец!? Пуэбло сосут яйца!

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Четверрртый Бол, пажаласта!

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Это - Америка! Это - НАСТОЯЩАЯ Америка!

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Вы можешь поверить в это, мальчики?! Мы прошли в Чемпионат Штата!

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Мы гордимся вами дети!

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Что случится, если мы выиграем Чемпионат Штата?

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Ну, тогда Ваш сезон начнется заново, на национальном уровне!

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И Вы проведете все лето играя в бейсбол!

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Что??

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Вы сможете сделать это, дети! Мы знаем, вы сможешь выиграть Чемпионат штата!

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и Все лето мы будем ездить в штат Небраска, в Айову и Вайоминг.

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О нет. Нет, нет, нет!

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Пааап? Пап, мы должны поговорить.

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Ты можешь в это поверить, Стэн? Чемпионат Штата. Это - ...

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Самое потрясное, что когда-либо было.

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Черт подери.

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Я серьезно работал, верил в себя,

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И теперь я буду драться на Чемпионате Штата.

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Это будет самой большой Дракой в моей жизни.

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Это - Новости четвертого, в полдень.

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Чемпионат детской Лиги штата Колорадо будет сыгран на этой неделе.

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Две команды подростков столкнуться лицом к лицу в Вышей лиге на стадионе в центре.

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Том, я стою здесь среди маленьких отбивающих игроков и их родителей, и я не могу передать насколько они взволнованны.

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Я полагаю парни Вы не хотите выиграть эту игру.

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Выиграть? Какого черта нам надо хотеть выиграть?

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Да. Тогда мы должны будем играть в эту скучную игру все лето.

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Маленький Стэн Марш - питчер Детской Лиги команды Саус Парка.

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Стэн, как ты себя чувствуешь, перед игрой в Чемпионате штата?

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Гомиком.

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Мистер Марш, вы должны гордиться вашим сыном.

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Они действительно поработали, чтобы оказаться здесь, Ты знаешь, Крис,

00:10:52,196 --> 00:10:56,166

Я не люблю пустозвонные наезды, но, я не думаю, что у Денвера есть шанс.

00:10:56,456 --> 00:11:00,166

О, ну, я уверен некоторые родители Денверских детей не согласились бы с вами и вашей командой...

00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:02,336

О да! О да!

00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:04,626

Саут Парк - отсосет!

00:11:04,716 --> 00:11:06,586

УЖЕ СКОРО!

00:11:06,636 --> 00:11:08,466

У вас нет шанса, Саут Парк!

00:11:08,506 --> 00:11:11,516

Давай, Денвер, начнем! Ха, ха!

00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:12,516

Кто это?

00:11:12,556 --> 00:11:14,886

Это - Том Нельсон, один из отцов Денверовских игроков.

00:11:14,976 --> 00:11:19,226

Он приходит на каждую игру в этом Глупом костюме, слишком много пьет и ввязывается в драки.

00:11:19,316 --> 00:11:22,566

Нет такого способа, которым эти горные детки смогут побороть Денвер.

00:11:22,606 --> 00:11:24,776

только не с моим сыном на второй базе!

00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:27,446

Ооо, похоже у нас тут произошел наезд среди родителей.

00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:28,736

Мистер Марш, будут комментарии?

00:11:28,816 --> 00:11:30,196

Хорошо я думаю, что ...

00:11:30,236 --> 00:11:31,486

Мистер Марш?

00:11:31,536 --> 00:11:33,696

Кто хочет слушать какого-то мистера Марша?!

00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:37,076

Я - главный отец-задира Детской Лиги!

00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:39,786

Я - сумасшедший отец!

00:11:39,836 --> 00:11:41,666

Хорошо, Мр. Нельсон, пройдемте, вперед.

00:11:41,706 --> 00:11:45,416

Отец-летучая мышь не знает страха! Отец-бита не знает боли!

00:11:45,466 --> 00:11:47,966

Я хочу тебя, Марш! Я хочу тебя!!

00:11:49,046 --> 00:11:50,756

Дааа, несомненно напряжение растет, но я предполагаю,

00:11:50,806 --> 00:11:53,266

что все будет решено на игровом поле.

00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:55,096

О мой Бог

00:11:55,726 --> 00:11:57,556

Удачи! Она Вам понадобиться.

00:11:57,596 --> 00:11:59,936

Да, Вы не сможете проиграть нам. Мы отвратительны.

00:12:01,816 --> 00:12:04,186

Чувак, что мы будем делать?? Нам нельзя выиграть эту игру.

00:12:04,186 --> 00:12:05,856

Стоп. Есть идея, парни.

00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:10,316

Переломная точка в спортивном кино, когда команда выходит из игры, находиться действительно милый игрок который присоединяется к их команде.

00:12:10,486 --> 00:12:12,656

Как тот ребенок-мотоциклист в Плохих Медвежьих Новостях.

00:12:12,696 --> 00:12:13,866

Точно сказал, Клайд.

00:12:14,036 --> 00:12:18,786

Итак нам нужно ... найти кого-нибудь, чтобы присоединить к нашей команде, кого-нибудь абсолютно отсосного.

00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:19,746

Да.

00:12:19,916 --> 00:12:22,546

Нам нужно найти самого худшего спортсмена в целом мире.

00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:24,206

Кого-нибудь, кто вообще не может выиграть.

00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:25,206

Но кого?

00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:26,626

Я знаю такого.

00:12:27,796 --> 00:12:30,626

Объявляется прибытие рейса шесть семь три, из Нью-Йорка.

00:12:34,596 --> 00:12:36,306

Я вернулся!

00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:40,856

Вот он! Так, не дайте ему понять, что мы думаем, что он - неудачник, или он не будет играть.

00:12:42,686 --> 00:12:43,816

Привет, кузен Кайл.

00:12:43,856 --> 00:12:45,686

Господи, этот полет был ужасен.

00:12:45,736 --> 00:12:48,646

Они подали блюдо из цыпленка с острым соусом, а у меня от него газы.

00:12:48,736 --> 00:12:50,736

Чувак, спасибо, что выручил нас, присоединившись к нашей команде.

00:12:50,796 --> 00:12:53,826

Хорошо, ты сказал, что вы нуждаетесь в моей помощи в победе на чемпионате, итак я здесь.

00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:56,076

Мне нужен только платок если я собираюсь играть.

00:12:56,116 --> 00:13:00,166

Иногда когда я долго стою с битой я потею, и тогда у меня запотевают очки.

00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:02,206

Он идеален.

00:13:02,246 --> 00:13:04,956

Да, с ним в нашей команде, у нас не останется шанса.

00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:57,556

... Я не пойду.

00:13:58,926 --> 00:13:59,556

Что?

00:14:00,596 --> 00:14:02,096

Это игра Стэна, я...

00:14:02,516 --> 00:14:03,516

Я не пойду.

00:14:04,606 --> 00:14:05,436

Почему?

00:14:06,816 --> 00:14:10,486

Не думаю, что я могу...

00:14:11,446 --> 00:14:12,856

Ты не думаешь, что ты можешь?!

00:14:12,906 --> 00:14:14,566

Это - самая большая игра жизни твоего сына!

00:14:14,616 --> 00:14:15,866

Почему бы тебе не пойти и не поддержать его?...

00:14:15,906 --> 00:14:17,616

Потому, что я боюсь, да?!

00:14:19,656 --> 00:14:23,036

Ты хочешь сломить меня?! Ты хочешь услышать, как я это скажу! Я боюсь!

00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:26,376

Я не знаю, верю ли я в себя еще.

00:14:26,786 --> 00:14:29,086

я не знаю, могу ли я побороть этого парня, Шэрон.

00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:32,126

Так и не надо.

00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:35,546

Ты не должен драться с другими родителями в играх Детской Лиги!

00:14:35,586 --> 00:14:37,046

Сиди и Смотри!

00:14:37,966 --> 00:14:39,846

Слушай, я понимаю, что ты хочешь сделать.

00:14:40,556 --> 00:14:43,846

Ты пытаешься заставить меня понять, что я должен драться с ним, потому что я тот кто есть.

00:14:43,886 --> 00:14:48,266

Нет, я говорю тебе, что ты не должен кидаться из игры в игру и ставить себя в глупое положение.

00:14:48,316 --> 00:14:49,476

Я потерял грань.

00:14:50,316 --> 00:14:51,566

Мне жаль, Шэрон.

00:14:51,936 --> 00:14:54,356

Но ты должна отвести Стэна на его игру сама.

00:14:59,616 --> 00:15:03,206

Добро пожаловать на игры Чемпионата детской Лиги штата Колорадо!

00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,326

Для этих юношей это будет довольно захватывающим

00:15:06,376 --> 00:15:08,086

Шансом попасть на национальный уровень.

00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,296

Знаете на кого эти парни похожи?

00:15:12,376 --> 00:15:13,466

На стадо победителей!

00:15:13,506 --> 00:15:15,506

Да! Вы надерете наши задницы!

00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:18,176

Я так не думаю! Вы парни слишком хороши!

00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:19,556

Вы лучшие в этой игре!

00:15:19,596 --> 00:15:20,556

Это Вы лучшие!

00:15:20,596 --> 00:15:23,096

Вы парни так хороши, что возможно пройдете весь путь к победе государственного титула!

00:15:23,136 --> 00:15:25,096

Не выйдет! Так как мы собираемся проиграть вам прямо сейчас!

00:15:25,186 --> 00:15:29,066

Давай, денвер! Эти дети Саут Парка не получать ничего!

00:15:29,106 --> 00:15:30,726

Вперед, денвер!

00:15:30,976 --> 00:15:32,486

Крис, может ты сядешь, а?

00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:35,486

Первым отбивающим от Саус парка выходит Кайл Шварц!

00:15:37,316 --> 00:15:38,616

Где я должен встать?

00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:40,116

Прямо здесь.

00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:50,996

Не кидай мяч слишком быстро, а то я могу испугаться и еще у меня астма!

00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:55,546

Первый страйк! Да! Хорошо!

00:15:57,506 --> 00:15:59,256

Господи, не так близко!

00:15:59,386 --> 00:16:02,056

Еще три фута и меня бы ударило в голову!

00:16:02,306 --> 00:16:03,976

Он не собирается отбивать! Бросай не в зону!

00:16:05,976 --> 00:16:06,846

О, боже!

00:16:07,016 --> 00:16:08,396

Второй страйк!

00:16:09,976 --> 00:16:11,936

Он отсосней всех!

00:16:12,066 --> 00:16:13,986

Мы проиграем! Мы проиграем!

00:16:14,146 --> 00:16:16,736

Не бросай так жестко или так близко в следующий раз!

00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,276

Что-то здесь холодает! Мне нужен жакет!

00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:26,866

Бант!

00:16:26,996 --> 00:16:28,286

беги, парень, беги!

00:16:28,956 --> 00:16:30,206

о, господи! Дерьмо!

00:16:32,956 --> 00:16:33,956

Я не могу!

00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,386

Я не могу продолжать бежать!

00:16:42,426 --> 00:16:43,806

У меня мозоль на ноге!

00:16:44,556 --> 00:16:45,596

Беги, парень!

00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:49,436

Перебросьте мяч к третьей, вы идиоты! Он бежит в дом!

00:16:51,306 --> 00:16:52,396

Сайв!

00:16:56,686 --> 00:16:58,196

О, Иссус, вы это видели??

00:16:58,236 --> 00:17:00,736

Я провел Хоумран! Дайте пять!

00:17:01,946 --> 00:17:05,326

О, мой бог... Их питчер смог попасть им прямо в биту!

00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:06,866

Чувак, мы делали все не правильно!

00:17:06,946 --> 00:17:09,116

Пока мы тратили наше время пытаясь быть отсосными,

00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:11,746

Эти парни практиковались и стали реально хороши в отсосности!

00:17:18,916 --> 00:17:19,756

Нет

00:17:19,836 --> 00:17:21,336

Беги, Токен!

00:17:22,966 --> 00:17:25,846

Хорошо, Денвер! Отбей хоть сейчас!

00:17:35,516 --> 00:17:36,356

Аут!

00:17:37,646 --> 00:17:39,986

Господи Иисусе! Они отбили нам самим аут!

00:17:45,986 --> 00:17:49,866

Все наше лето, чувак! Мы не можем играть в эту скучную игру целое лето!

00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:51,616

Сукин сын!

00:17:56,289 --> 00:17:58,579

На основании последнего инненга на этом поле,

00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:01,839

Счет Саут Парк-23, Денвер-0

00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:06,919

Первый страйк!

00:18:06,969 --> 00:18:08,379

Вперед, Денвер!

00:18:08,469 --> 00:18:09,679

Принимайтесь за дело!

00:18:09,719 --> 00:18:12,469

Не злите сумасшедшего отца!

00:18:12,889 --> 00:18:14,679

Хорошо было бы если бы этот парень заткнулся

00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:19,689

Почему бы вам просто не убраться домой, Саут парк? Вам не победить Денвер!

00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:21,689

Денвер - отсос!

00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:32,319

Давайте Саут Парк, эти дети не умеют играть!

00:18:32,949 --> 00:18:35,949

Кстати, эти дети просто ужасны!

00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,329

Второй страйк!

00:18:41,459 --> 00:18:43,129

О господи, Мы собираемся Выиграть!

00:18:43,169 --> 00:18:45,999

Я никогда еще не выигрывал в спорте! Это так захватывающе!

00:18:47,299 --> 00:18:50,219

Это конец, Денвер! Саут парк надерет вам задницы!

00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,889

Тебе лучше заткнуть свой рот прежде, чем я заткнул его за тебя!

00:18:55,599 --> 00:18:57,019

Что собираешься делать, а?

00:19:04,939 --> 00:19:06,359

Хуже уже быть не может!

00:19:12,199 --> 00:19:14,199

Теперь закончим начатое!

00:19:14,739 --> 00:19:17,869

Отец-летучая мышь снова в деле!

00:19:22,419 --> 00:19:27,339

Все идет к одному! Что Саут парк находится в одной подаче от победы в Чемпионате!...

00:19:30,589 --> 00:19:33,219

О, да. кажется два отца дерутся.

00:19:33,509 --> 00:19:36,509

Им бы лучше быть осторожней. У Детской Лиги отношение к подобному суровое.

00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,979

Стоп! Стоп, или из-за вас, вашу команду дисквалифицируют!

00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,309

Дисквалифицируют?

00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:45,979

Деритесь! Продолжайте!

00:19:49,109 --> 00:19:50,439

Кончайте! Да кончайте же, вы!...

00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:06,919

Хватит! Команда того, кто следующий начнет драку, будет дисквалифицирована!

00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:08,999

Он все равно конченный!

00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,419

Давай, пап, вставай!

00:20:13,549 --> 00:20:15,179

Вставайте, Вы должны драться!

00:20:17,179 --> 00:20:18,559

Ну все, продолжим! Давайте играть!

00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:21,519

Рэнди! Рэнди! Рэнди!

00:20:23,019 --> 00:20:24,059

Поднимайся, Рэнди!

00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:25,939

Поднимай свою задницу!

00:20:25,979 --> 00:20:27,689

Вставай, Рэнди!

00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,019

Дерись, дерись за меня!

00:20:38,489 --> 00:20:39,659

Эй, Отец-мышь!

00:20:43,039 --> 00:20:44,579

Я не слышал звука гонга!

00:20:49,339 --> 00:20:50,589

Прекратите! Прекратите немедленно!

00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,469

Я предупреждаю вас, сэр!

00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:04,639

Ну все! Ну все! Саут парк дисквалифицирован!

00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:11,269

Саут парк был дисквалифицирован из игры! Денвер Выиграл!

00:21:18,989 --> 00:21:19,909

Мы...мы проиграли!

00:21:21,659 --> 00:21:23,869

Что? Я думал это свободная страна!

00:21:24,079 --> 00:21:24,699

Пап!

00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:27,419

Ты лучший!!!

00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,056

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,853

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,563

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,440

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,443

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,284

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:37,830

This is it, Stan.

00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,041

If you strike this kid out,

we all get to go home.

00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:43,419

Now batting for Conifer

is little Allen Vargas.

00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,421

Hey, batter, batter,

batter, batter!

00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,214

No hit, no hit!

Can't hit it, can't hit it!

00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,507

Can't hit it, can't hit it,

can't hit it!

00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,884

Hit it out of the park, Allen!

00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,427

South Park sucks!

00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,095

Just look at those boys

out there

00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,805

loving the great game

of baseball

00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,183

like we did when we were kids.

00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:01,062

Oh, God.

I'm so bored!

00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,899

♪ I see a ladybug ♪

00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,692

♪ Hello, lady, ladybug ♪

00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,072

Strike.

00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,239

That was no strike.

00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,699

What the hell is wrong with you,

ump?

00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,493

Good call, ump.

Good call.

00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:17,745

Come on, Allen!

This pitcher throws like a girl!

00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,872

- What'd you say?

- You heard me, asshole!

00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,832

You want me to kick your ass

right here?

00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,000

Randy, sit down.

00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,126

You want a piece of me?

00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,420

'Cause I'm pretty sick

of your goddamn mouth.

00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,424

What do you want to do, huh?

What do you want to do?

00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,550

Randy, don't.

00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,927

You better shut up, asshole!

00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:34,762

I'm standin' right here.

How do you want to handle it?

00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,430

I told you to shut up!

00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,649

Oh, Jesus.

Not again.

00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,068

Come on, Stan.

00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,320

Just strike this kid out

so we can end the season.

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,659

Strike three!

You're out!

00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,786

Yes! It's over!

It's over!

00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,247

That's it.

South Park wins the game 4-0.

00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,832

We're done!

No more baseball!

00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,917

No more boring baseball

until next year!

00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,544

We can start having fun again!

00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:09,922

Yeah! We did it!

We did it!

00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,299

Yeah! We did it, boys!

We did it!

00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,177

We're going to the finals!

Whoo-hoo!

00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,389

What?

00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,767

We won. That means we've got

the best record in the division.

00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:22,810

Congratulations, boys.

00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,353

You're going on

to the postseason.

00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,230

- Whoo-hoo!

- Postseason?

00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,982

Nobody said anything

about a postseason.

00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,484

There's more Little League

baseball for South Park!

00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,569

Yeah!

00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,740

No.

00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,534

No-o-o!

00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,035

This is for what?!

00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,662

Arresting me for what?

00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,831

I'm not allowed to stand up

for myself?

00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,374

I thought this was America!

00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,084

Huh?

Isn't this America?!

00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,378

I'm sorry.

I thought this was America.

00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,050

I can't believe it.

00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,052

I can't believe

we have to keep playing.

00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,929

Nobody told us

if we won too many games

00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,639

we'd go on to the finals.

00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,808

Look, you guys,

maybe it's not all that bad.

00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,894

Not all that bad?

How can you say that?

00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,979

You hate this game

more than any of us.

00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,147

I know, but listen.

00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,982

The finals are all

sudden-death elimination.

00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,735

That means as soon as we lose

one game, our season is over.

00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,779

Well, yeah,

but...we usually win.

00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,740

All the other teams

are worse than us.

00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,535

Yeah. Let's face it --

We're winners.

00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,288

- I know we can lose if we try.

- You mean throw the game?

00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,457

You know how our parents are

about this sport.

00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,084

Yeah, my dad always said,

"It's okay to lose,

00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,795

but if you don't try,

you're grounded, mister."

00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,589

- Yeah.

- Uh-huh.

00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674

Okay, so then we'll just tell

the other team quietly

00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,093

that we're gonna let them win

and then act like we're trying.

00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:39,762

Our parents will never know.

00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,388

We better hope they never know,

00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,265

or else there's going to be

heck to pay.

00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,226

Heck, I tell ya!

00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,393

Cheers!

00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:47,853

Boy, that was great, wasn't it?

00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,813

Yeah. Our boys really

stuck it to 'em.

00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:50,648

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:52,191

- All right!

- Hey!

00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,234

Hey!

00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:55,527

- You're out.

- How much was bail this time?

00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,196

Hundred bucks.

No big whoop.

00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,907

Boy, you really beat the crap

out of that Conifer dad.

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,409

Somebody had to put

that knucklehead in his place.

00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,120

Yeah. Well, you'd better

watch yourself in the playoffs.

00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,330

W-What do you mean?

00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,873

I mean you always get

into fights

00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,042

with scrappy redneck dads

up here in the mountains,

00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,044

but some of those

Division-II dads are tough.

00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,130

Yeah. Those dads get

really drunk and obnoxious.

00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,425

I can fight anybody.

I just need to train.

00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,721

I just...need to get

in the best shape of my life.

00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,976

The Beatles, from the White

Album, with "Helter Skelter."

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,644

Okay --

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:08,183

We want to welcome

all South Park parents

00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,184

to Fort Collins

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,186

and the Little League

Division-I playoffs.

00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,111

Uh, hey, guys, look.

We don't want to win.

00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,321

So, uh, here's a list

00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,281

of all the pitches

I'm gonna throw, in order.

00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,199

Ooh!

00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,951

I don't think so, South Park.

00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,870

Yeah.

You think we want to win?

00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,621

Then we have to keep playing

this boring game.

00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,789

- Yeah!

- Uh-huh.

00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,875

You hate this game, too?

00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,835

Yeah, and then we won

the stupid regionals

00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,795

and had to do this

lousy-ass tournament.

00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,881

We want to play video games.

00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,007

Oh, no!

00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,217

Look, we're gonna be

the losers tonight, all right?

00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,302

I don't think so.

00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,262

There's no way you can lose

to us.

00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,848

We're going do-o-wn.

We're gonna get cre-e-amed!

00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,808

No.

We 're gonna get creamed!

00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,310

We'll just see about that.

00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,978

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah!

00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:53,896

Oh, boy.

00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,023

They're really gettin'

in each other's heads out there.

00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,858

Yeah!

Let's go, South Park!

00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,152

These Fort Collins kids

got nothin'!

00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,362

Whoo!

00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,490

Come on, Fort Collins!

Let 'em have it! Yeah!

00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,575

Guess that's my guy.

00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,286

I can take him.

No problem.

00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,414

All right.

Hit one out of the park.

00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,085

And first up for Fort Collins

is Morgan Pratt.

00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,170

Hey, batter, batter,

batter, batter!

00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,671

Hey, batter,

batter, batter!

00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,548

Knock it out of the park,

Morgan!

00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:22,883

Cream these turds!

00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,014

Strike!

00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:29,932

Yeah!

00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,058

- Yeah!

- All right!

00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,643

- All right!

- Damn it!

00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,353

Come on, kid.

You got to at least swing at it.

00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,896

No way.

I'm striking out.

00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,190

Dude, he's not gonna swing,

so just throw balls.

00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,401

That way he'll have to walk

to first base.

00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,238

Ball!

00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,322

All right!

00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,156

Morgan.

00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,741

What?

00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:48,992

You have to swing

when it's a ball.

00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,411

Otherwise you're gonna walk

to first base.

00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,371

Don't swing

only if it's a strike.

00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:53,914

Well, how the Sam Hill

am I supposed to know

00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,707

if he's gonna be throwing

a strike or a ball?

00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,209

You just have to guess.

00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,211

Aw, Jesus.

00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,048

Ball.

Ball.

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,635

Strike two!

00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,511

No!

00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,721

That was no strike!

That was a terrible pitch!

00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,390

You need some

goddamn Lasik surgery!

00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,059

Thataway, South Park!

They ain't swingin' at nothin'!

00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,229

Come on, Fort Collins!

This team can't pitch!

00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,939

♪ Got to learn to take it ♪

00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,399

♪ Try to believe ♪

00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,775

There you go, Morgan!

Run, run, run!

00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,068

Aw, damn it.

00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,403

Why the hell

did you swing at it?

00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,321

I thought he was gonna throw

a ball that time!

00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,740

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,992

Strike three!

You're out!

00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,201

All right!

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,828

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,788

- Ball four!

- What?

00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,248

- ♪ You're the best around ♪

- Walk to first. Whoo!

00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,583

Aw, God damn it.

00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,710

♪ Nothing's gonna

ever keep you down ♪

00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:40,711

Safe!

00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:41,962

- ♪ Down ♪

- Crud.

00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,923

Fort Collins can't play!

00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,342

Why don't you shut your mouth

before I kick your ass?!

00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,927

♪ Ah, got to be proud,

staring out in the cloud ♪

00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,512

Come on! Let's go!

I'm right here.

00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,763

Randy.

00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,599

Sit down before you get hurt.

00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,392

♪ And one day time will tell ♪

00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,643

Mother --

00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,938

- ♪ You'll reach the final bell ♪

- God damn it.

00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,940

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,817

Strike three!

You're out!

00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,903

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,529

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,281

That's it.

South Park wins the game.

00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,534

Aw, spit!

00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,827

Oh, I'm sorry.

00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,746

I thought I was --

I thought I was in America.

00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:16,830

I'm sorry.

00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,878

Strike three!

You're out!

00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:23,879

Yeah!

00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,590

God damn it, Brian!

Swing!

00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,635

Greeley sucks!

Greeley sucks!

00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,595

Ball four!

00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,180

Aw, hamburgers.

00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,723

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,975

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,311

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,437

Strike three!

00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,897

How the hell

was that a strike?!

00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,024

God damn it!

He should be going to first!

00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,485

Is this a communist

country or something?!

00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,195

I thought this was America!

00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,156

♪ Fight till you drop ♪

00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,950

¡Strike tres!

00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,952

- ¡Bueno!

- ¡Fantástico!

00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,746

¡Vámonos, Pueblo!

¡Viva la Pueblo!

00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,917

¡Pueblo no bueno!

¡Pueblo es muy mal!

00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211

Ball cuatro, por favor.

00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,338

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,340

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,508

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,968

This is America.

00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,511

I'm sorry.

It was America.

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,513

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,557

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,184

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,602

Can you believe it, boys?

00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,146

We're playing in

the state championship game!

00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,484

We're so proud of you kids.

00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,987

What happens if we win

the state championship game?

00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,697

Well, then your

whole season starts over,

00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,490

but on the national circuit.

00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,618

You get to spend your

whole summer playing baseball!

00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,161

- What?!

- You can do it, kids!

00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:39,621

We know you can win state!

00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,831

Then we'll spend

the whole summer

00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:44,334

going to Nebraska and Iowa

and Wyoming.

00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,920

Oh, no.

No, no, no!

00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,634

Dad.

Dad, we need to talk.

00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,094

Can you believe it, Stan?

00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,722

The state championship game.

00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,516

It's...the greatest thing ever.

00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,687

God damn it.

00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,440

I worked hard,

believed in myself,

00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:10,235

and now I'm gonna be fighting

in the state championship game.

00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,072

This is gonna be

the biggest fight of my life.

00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,411

This is "News 4 at Noon."

00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,872

The Colorado Little League

state championship

00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,290

is being played this week.

00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,792

Two teams of youngsters

get to go head-to-head

00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,462

at the Major League stadium

downtown.

00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,547

Tom, I'm standing here

with the little sluggers

00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:31,632

and some of their parents,

00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,967

and I can't tell you

how excited they are.

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,844

I don't suppose you guys

want to win this game?

00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,638

Win? Why the hell

would we want to win?

00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,474

Yeah. Then we'd have to play

this boring game all summer.

00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:41,850

Little Stan Marsh is the pitcher

00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,143

for the South Park

Little League team.

00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,853

Stan, how does it feel

to be playing

00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,730

for the state championship?

00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:47,731

Gay.

00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,691

Mr. Marsh, you must be

very proud of your son.

00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,652

They've worked really hard

to get here, Chris.

00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,737

You know, I don't like

to really "trash-talk,"

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,406

but I don't think Denver has

a chance.

00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,659

Oh! Well, I'm sure some of

the Denver kids' parents

00:10:58,784 --> 00:10:59,910

would disagree with you --

00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,412

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,581

South Park is goin' down!

00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,416

Feel it comin'!

00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,460

You ain't got a chance,

South Park!

00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,629

Here we go, Denver, here we go!

00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,630

Huh! Huh!

00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,631

Who is that?

00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,008

That's Tom Nelson, one of

the Denver players' fathers.

00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,927

He goes to every game

in that ridiculous outfit

00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,346

and usually drinks too much

and gets into a fight.

00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,473

There ain't no way

some little mountain kids

00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,683

can beat Denver!

00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,768

Not with my son on second base!

00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:27,521

Oh, looks like we got some

parental trash-talking going on.

00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:28,897

Mr. Marsh, any comment?

00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,357

Well, I think

that there's a, uh --

00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,441

Mr. Marsh?!

00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,819

Who wants to hear

from a Mr. Marsh?!

00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:37,239

I am the ultimate Little League

trash-talking father!

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,783

I am the Bat Dad!

00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,702

All right, Mr. Nelson.

Let's go. Come on.

00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:45,414

Bat Dad knows no fear!

Bat Dad knows no pain!

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,083

I want you, Marsh!

I want you!

00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,752

Well, tension is

certainly high here,

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,463

but I guess everything will be

decided on the playing field.

00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,340

Oh, my...God.

00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,384

Good luck.

You're gonna need it.

00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,387

Yeah. You can't lose to us.

We're terrible.

00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,182

Dude, what are we gonna do?

We can't win this game.

00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,642

Wait.

I've got it, you guys.

00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,186

At this point in a sports movie,

the team always goes out

00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,522

and finds a really sweet player

to join their team.

00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,899

Like that motorcycle kid

in "Bad News Bears."

00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:13,984

Exactly right, Clyde.

00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,945

So what we need is to find

somebody to join our team

00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,864

who totally sucks ass.

00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:19,990

Hey, yeah.

00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,742

We need to find

the very worst kid athlete

00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,327

in the whole world,

somebody who can't possibly win.

00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,454

But who?

00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,205

I know who.

00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,626

Announcing the arrival of

flight 673 from New York City.

00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,424

I'm ba-a-a-ck!

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,425

There he is.

00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,218

Don't let him know

we think he's a loser,

00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,595

or else he won't play.

00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,847

Hello, cousin Kyle.

00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,515

Oh, Jesus.

That flight was terrible.

00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,268

They served a chicken dish with

hot sauce, and it gave me gas.

00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,395

Dude, thanks for helping us out

by joining our team.

00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,731

Well, you said you needed

my help to win the big game,

00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,940

so here I am.

00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,942

I'll need a wipe cloth

if I'm gonna play, though.

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,028

Sometimes I sweat from holding

the bat for so long,

00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,947

and then the heat

steams up my glasses.

00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,783

- He's perfect.

- Yeah.

00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,202

With him on our team,

we don't stand a chance.

00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,713

I'm not gonna go.

00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,048

What?

00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,550

Stan's Little League game.

00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,427

I'm -- I'm not gonna go.

00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,971

Why?

00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:11,059

I just...don't think I can,

all right?

00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,310

You don't think you can?

00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,187

This is the biggest game

of your son's life.

00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,022

Why wouldn't you go

and support him with --

00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,108

Because I'm scared, all right?!

00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,112

You want to break me down?!

You want to hear me to say it?!

00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,114

I'm scared!

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,616

I don't know if I believe

in myself anymore.

00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:30,412

I don't know if I can take

this guy, Sharon.

00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,872

So then don't.

00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,416

You don't have to get in fights

with other parents

00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,667

at Little League games.

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,627

Just sit there and watch.

00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,838

Look, I get

what you're trying to do.

00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,757

You're trying to get me to

realize that I have to fight him

00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:43,800

because it's who I am.

00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,469

No, I'm telling you you don't

have to get thrown out of games

00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,305

and make an ass of yourself!

00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,223

I've lost the edge.

00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,725

I'm sorry, Sharon,

00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,061

but you have to take Stan

to his Little League game alone.

00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,359

Welcome to

the Colorado Little League

00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,612

state championship game.

00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,906

This must be pretty exciting

for these youngsters --

00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,158

a chance to go

to the national circuit.

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,495

You know what these guys

look like to me?

00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:13,580

A bunch of winners.

00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,707

Yeah. We're about to get

our asses kicked.

00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,084

I don't think so.

You guys are way too good.

00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,586

You're the best at this game.

00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:20,670

You're the best.

00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:21,671

You guys are so good

00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,089

you'll probably go all the way

to win the national title.

00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,008

Not a chance, 'cause we're

gonna lose to you right now!

00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,718

Here we go, Denver!

00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,054

These South Park kids

got nothing on you!

00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,889

Let's go, Denver!

00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,682

Chris, will you sit down?

00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,894

First up to bat for South Park,

Kyle Schwartz.

00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,772

Where do I stand?

00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,774

Right over here.

00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,615

Don't throw the ball too fast,

00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,493

because I may get startled,

and I have asthma.

00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,538

Strike one!

00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,374

- Yeah!

- All right!

00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,125

Jesus!

Not so close!

00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,170

That was three feet away

from hitting me in the head!

00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,589

He's not gonna swing!

Throw balls!

00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:06,967

Oh, Jesus!

00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,426

Strike two!

00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,970

Yeah!

00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,846

Wow!

He is great at sucking.

00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,099

We're gonna lose!

We're gonna lose!

00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,643

Don't throw it so hard

or so close next time.

00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,938

Is it cold out here?

I think I need a jacket.

00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,028

It's a bunt!

00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,405

Run, kid, run!

00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,532

Oh, Jesus!

00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,369

Aw, crap!

00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,419

I can't -- I can't keep

running like this.

00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,087

I have corns in my feet.

00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,755

Keep running, kid!

00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,924

Throw the ball to third,

you idiots!

00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,551

He's running home!

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,303

Safe!

00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,018

Oh, Jesus!

Did you see that?

00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,185

I hit a home run!

00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,022

High five, everybody!

00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:03,106

Oh, my God.

00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,525

Their pitcher was able

to hit him right on the bat.

00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,943

Dude, we had it all wrong.

00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,362

While we spent all our time

trying to make our team suck,

00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,407

these guys practiced

and got really good at sucking.

00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:19,789

No!

00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,499

Yeah!

Go, Token, go!

00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:26,171

All right, Denver!

You're up to bat now!

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,431

Out!

00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,766

- Yay!

- Yay!

00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,143

Jesus Christ!

They can bat themselves out!

00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,233

Our whole summer, dude.

00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,861

We have to play this boring game

all summer long.

00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,489

Son of a biscuit!

00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,495

It's the bottom of the last

inning here at Coors Field.

00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:02,624

The score is South Park 23,

Denver 0.

00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,878

Strike one!

00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,631

Come on, Denver!

Get the lead out!

00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,342

Do not cross the Bat Dad!

00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,677

Geez, I really wish

this guy would shut up.

00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:17,430

Why don't you just go home,

South Park?!

00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,474

You can't beat Denver!

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,894

Denver sucks ass.

00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,487

Come on, South Park!

These kids can't play!

00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,783

In fact,

these kids are terrible.

00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,287

Strike two!

00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,039

Oh, Jesus!

We're gonna win!

00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:47,001

I-I've never won a sport before.

This is so exciting.

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,380

It's over, Denver.

South Park whupped your ass.

00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:54,259

You better shut your mouth

before I shut it for you!

00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,470

What do you want to do, huh?

00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,472

Aah!

00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,396

This can't get any worse.

00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,195

Now for the finishing move!

00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,490

You're about to be

Bat-Dadded!

00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,746

It all comes down to this.

00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540

South Park

is just one pitch away

00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,834

from being state champions.

00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,214

Oh, geez. It looks like

two parents are fighting.

00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,257

They'd better be careful.

00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,551

The Little League has

a no-tolerance policy.

00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,219

Stop!

00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,514

Stop or you're gonna get

your teams disqualified!

00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,766

Disqualified?

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,311

Fight!

Keep fighting!

00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,733

Break it up!

Break it up!

00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,953

That's enough!

00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:07,040

The next person that fights is

getting his team disqualified.

00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,667

He's done for anyway.

00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,463

Come on, Dad. Get up.

00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:14,881

Get up!

You have to fight!

00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,384

All right. Come on.

Let's play ball.

00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,763

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,890

Get up, Rock!

00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,934

Get up, ya bum!

00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,062

Get up, Randy!

Fight! Fight for me!

00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,981

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,901

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:38,154

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,656

Hey, Bat Dad.

00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,161

I didn't hear no bell.

00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,913

Yeah!

00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,166

Stop!

Stop right now!

00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,752

♪ I'm the best around ♪

00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,422

I'm warning you, sir.

00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,174

♪ The best around ♪

00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:04,514

That's it! That's it!

South Park is disqualified!

00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,974

Yeah!

00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,892

Aww!

00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,061

South Park has been disqualified

from the game.

00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,354

Denver wins!

00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,902

Aww!

00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,779

We -- We lost?

00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,616

What?! What?!

I thought it was a free country!

00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:24,659

Dad!

00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,495

You're the greatest.

00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,873

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,625

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,128

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879

♪ And nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,382

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:42,844

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,887

♪ Down ♪

00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,807

♪ Fight to the end

'cause your life will depend ♪

00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,809

♪ On the strength

that you have inside you ♪

00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,020

♪ Ah, got to be proud,

standing out in the crowd ♪

00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,105

♪ When the odds in the game

defy you ♪

00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,190

♪ You try your best

to win them all ♪

00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,359

♪ And one day time will tell ♪

00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,486

♪ When you're the one

that's standing there ♪

00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,613

♪ You'll reach the final bell ♪

00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,740

♪ You're the best ♪

00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,056

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,853

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,563

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,440

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,443

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,284

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:37,830

This is it, Stan.

00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,041

If you strike this kid out,

we all get to go home.

00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:43,419

Now batting for Conifer

is little Allen Vargas.

00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,421

Hey, batter, batter,

batter, batter!

00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,214

No hit, no hit!

Can't hit it, can't hit it!

00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,507

Can't hit it, can't hit it,

can't hit it!

00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,884

Hit it out of the park, Allen!

00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,427

South Park sucks!

00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,095

Just look at those boys

out there

00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,805

loving the great game

of baseball

00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,183

like we did when we were kids.

00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:01,062

Oh, God.

I'm so bored!

00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:02,813

[ Yawns ]

00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,899

♪ I see a ladybug ♪

00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,692

♪ Hello, lady, ladybug ♪

00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,072

Strike.

00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,239

That was no strike.

00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,699

What the hell is wrong with you,

ump?

00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,493

Good call, ump.

Good call.

00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:17,745

Come on, Allen!

This pitcher throws like a girl!

00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,872

- What'd you say?

- You heard me, asshole!

00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,832

You want me to kick your ass

right here?

00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,000

Randy, sit down.

00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,126

You want a piece of me?

00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,420

'Cause I'm pretty sick

of your goddamn mouth.

00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,424

What do you want to do, huh?

What do you want to do?

00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,550

Randy, don't.

00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,927

You better shut up, asshole!

00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:34,762

I'm standin' right here.

How do you want to handle it?

00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,430

I told you to shut up!

00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,726

[ Both grunting ]

00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,649

Oh, Jesus.

Not again.

00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,068

Come on, Stan.

00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,320

Just strike this kid out

so we can end the season.

00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,907

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,659

Strike three!

You're out!

00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,786

Yes! It's over!

It's over!

00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,247

That's it.

South Park wins the game 4-0.

00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,832

We're done!

No more baseball!

00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,917

No more boring baseball

until next year!

00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,544

We can start having fun again!

00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:08,379

[All cheering ]

00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:09,922

Yeah! We did it!

We did it!

00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,299

Yeah! We did it, boys!

We did it!

00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,177

We're going to the finals!

Whoo-hoo!

00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,389

What?

00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,767

We won. That means we've got

the best record in the division.

00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:22,810

Congratulations, boys.

00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,353

You're going on

to the postseason.

00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,230

- Whoo-hoo!

- Postseason?

00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,982

Nobody said anything

about a postseason.

00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,484

There's more Little League

baseball for South Park!

00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,569

Yeah!

00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:34,196

[Adults cheering ]

00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,740

No.

00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,534

No-o-o!

00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,035

[ Slurring ]

This is for what?!

00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,662

Arresting me for what?

00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,831

I'm not allowed to stand up

for myself?

00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,374

I thought this was America!

00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,084

Huh?

Isn't this America?!

00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,378

I'm sorry.

I thought this was America.

00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,050

I can't believe it.

00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,052

I can't believe

we have to keep playing.

00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,929

Nobody told us

if we won too many games

00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,639

we'd go on to the finals.

00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,808

Look, you guys,

maybe it's not all that bad.

00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,894

Not all that bad?

How can you say that?

00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,979

You hate this game

more than any of us.

00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,147

I know, but listen.

00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,982

The finals are all

sudden-death elimination.

00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,735

That means as soon as we lose

one game, our season is over.

00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,779

Well, yeah,

but...we usually win.

00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,740

All the other teams

are worse than us.

00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:21,535

Yeah. Let's face it --

We're winners.

00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,288

- I know we can lose if we try.

- You mean throw the game?

00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,457

You know how our parents are

about this sport.

00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,084

Yeah, my dad always said,

"It's okay to lose,

00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,795

but if you don't try,

you're grounded, mister."

00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,589

- Yeah.

- Uh-huh.

00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674

Okay, so then we'll just tell

the other team quietly

00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,093

that we're gonna let them win

and then act like we're trying.

00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:39,762

Our parents will never know.

00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,388

We better hope they never know,

00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,265

or else there's going to be

heck to pay.

00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,226

Heck, I tell ya!

00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,393

ALL:

Cheers!

00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:47,853

Boy, that was great, wasn't it?

00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,813

Yeah. Our boys really

stuck it to 'em.

00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:50,648

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:52,191

- All right!

- Hey!

00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,234

ALL:

Hey!

00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:55,527

- You're out.

- How much was bail this time?

00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,196

Hundred bucks.

No big whoop.

00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,907

Boy, you really beat the crap

out of that Conifer dad.

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,409

Somebody had to put

that knucklehead in his place.

00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,120

Yeah. Well, you'd better

watch yourself in the playoffs.

00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,330

W-What do you mean?

00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,873

I mean you always get

into fights

00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,042

with scrappy redneck dads

up here in the mountains,

00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,044

but some of those

Division-II dads are tough.

00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,130

Yeah. Those dads get

really drunk and obnoxious.

00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,425

I can fight anybody.

I just need to train.

00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,721

I just...need to get

in the best shape of my life.

00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,976

MAN: The Beatles, from the White

Album, with "Helter Skelter."

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,644

- Okay --

- [ Click ]

00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,148

[ Sniffles ]

00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,261

[ Burps ]

00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,263

[ Farts ]

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:08,183

MAN: We want to welcome

all South Park parents

00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,184

to Fort Collins

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,186

and the Little League

Division-I playoffs.

00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,939

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,400

[ Insects chirping ]

00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,111

Uh, hey, guys, look.

We don't want to win.

00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,321

So, uh, here's a list

00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,281

of all the pitches

I'm gonna throw, in order.

00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,199

ALL:

Ooh!

00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,951

I don't think so, South Park.

00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,870

Yeah.

You think we want to win?

00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,621

Then we have to keep playing

this boring game.

00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,789

- Yeah!

- Uh-huh.

00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,875

You hate this game, too?

00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,835

Yeah, and then we won

the stupid regionals

00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,795

and had to do this

lousy-ass tournament.

00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,881

We want to play video games.

00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,007

Oh, no!

00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,217

Look, we're gonna be

the losers tonight, all right?

00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,302

I don't think so.

00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,262

There's no way you can lose

to us.

00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,848

We're going do-o-wn.

We're gonna get cre-e-amed!

00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,808

No.

We 're gonna get creamed!

00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,310

We'll just see about that.

00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,978

- SOUTH PARK: Oh, yeah?

- FORT COLLINS: Yeah!

00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:53,896

Oh, boy.

00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,023

They're really gettin'

in each other's heads out there.

00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,858

Yeah!

Let's go, South Park!

00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,152

These Fort Collins kids

got nothin'!

00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,362

Whoo!

00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,490

Come on, Fort Collins!

Let 'em have it! Yeah!

00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,575

Guess that's my guy.

00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,286

I can take him.

No problem.

00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,414

All right.

Hit one out of the park.

00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,085

And first up for Fort Collins

is Morgan Pratt.

00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,170

Hey, batter, batter,

batter, batter!

00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,671

Hey, batter,

batter, batter!

00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,548

Knock it out of the park,

Morgan!

00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:22,883

Cream these turds!

00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,014

Strike!

00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:29,932

Yeah!

00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,058

- Yeah!

- All right!

00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,643

- All right!

- Damn it!

00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,353

Come on, kid.

You got to at least swing at it.

00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:35,896

No way.

I'm striking out.

00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,190

Dude, he's not gonna swing,

so just throw balls.

00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,401

That way he'll have to walk

to first base.

00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,238

Ball!

00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,322

All right!

00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,156

Morgan.

00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,741

What?

00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:48,992

You have to swing

when it's a ball.

00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,411

Otherwise you're gonna walk

to first base.

00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,371

Don't swing

only if it's a strike.

00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:53,914

Well, how the Sam Hill

am I supposed to know

00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,707

if he's gonna be throwing

a strike or a ball?

00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,209

You just have to guess.

00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,211

Aw, Jesus.

00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,048

Ball.

Ball.

00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,635

Strike two!

00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,511

No!

00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,721

That was no strike!

That was a terrible pitch!

00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,390

You need some

goddamn Lasik surgery!

00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,059

Thataway, South Park!

They ain't swingin' at nothin'!

00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,229

Come on, Fort Collins!

This team can't pitch!

00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,939

♪ Got to learn to take it ♪

00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,399

♪ Try to believe ♪

00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,775

There you go, Morgan!

Run, run, run!

00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,068

Aw, damn it.

00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,403

Why the hell

did you swing at it?

00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,321

I thought he was gonna throw

a ball that time!

00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,740

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,992

Strike three!

You're out!

00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,201

All right!

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,828

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,788

- Ball four!

- What?

00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,248

- ♪ You're the best around ♪

- Walk to first. Whoo!

00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,583

Aw, God damn it.

00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,710

♪ Nothing's gonna

ever keep you down ♪

00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:40,711

Safe!

00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:41,962

- ♪ Down ♪

- Crud.

00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,923

Fort Collins can't play!

00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,342

Why don't you shut your mouth

before I kick your ass?!

00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,927

♪ Ah, got to be proud,

staring out in the cloud ♪

00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,512

Come on! Let's go!

I'm right here.

00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,763

Randy.

00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,599

Sit down before you get hurt.

00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:55,392

♪ And one day time will tell ♪

00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,643

Mother --

00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:57,811

[ Both grunting ]

00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,938

- ♪ You'll reach the final bell ♪

- God damn it.

00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,940

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,817

Strike three!

You're out!

00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,903

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,529

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,281

That's it.

South Park wins the game.

00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,616

[ Cheering ]

00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,534

Aw, spit!

00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,827

[ Slurring ]

Oh, I'm sorry.

00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,746

I thought I was --

I thought I was in America.

00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:16,830

I'm sorry.

00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,791

[ Music continues ]

00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:22,878

Strike three!

You're out!

00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:23,879

Yeah!

00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:24,922

[ Cheering ]

00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:26,590

God damn it, Brian!

Swing!

00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,635

[ Chanting ] Greeley sucks!

Greeley sucks!

00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,595

Ball four!

00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,180

Aw, hamburgers.

00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,723

- ♪ You're the best around ♪

- [ Groaning ]

00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,975

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,311

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,437

Strike three!

00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,897

How the hell

was that a strike?!

00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,024

God damn it!

He should be going to first!

00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,485

[ Slurring ] Is this a communist

country or something?!

00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,195

I thought this was America!

00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,655

[ Music continues ]

00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,156

♪ Fight till you drop ♪

00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,950

¡Strike tres!

00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,952

- ¡Bueno!

- ¡Fantástico!

00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,746

¡Vámonos, Pueblo!

¡Viva la Pueblo!

00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,917

¡Pueblo no bueno!

¡Pueblo es muy mal!

00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211

Ball cuatro, por favor.

00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,338

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,340

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,508

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,968

[ Slurring ]

This is America.

00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,511

I'm sorry.

It was America.

00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,513

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,557

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,184

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,602

Can you believe it, boys?

00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,146

We're playing in

the state championship game!

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,482

[Adults cheering ]

00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,484

We're so proud of you kids.

00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,987

What happens if we win

the state championship game?

00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,697

Well, then your

whole season starts over,

00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,490

but on the national circuit.

00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,618

You get to spend your

whole summer playing baseball!

00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,161

- What?!

- You can do it, kids!

00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:39,621

We know you can win state!

00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,831

Then we'll spend

the whole summer

00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:44,334

going to Nebraska and Iowa

and Wyoming.

00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,920

Oh, no.

No, no, no!

00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,089

[ Insects chirping ]

00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,634

Dad.

Dad, we need to talk.

00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,094

Can you believe it, Stan?

00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,722

- The state championship game.

- [ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,516

It's...the greatest thing ever.

00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,687

[ Sighs ]

God damn it.

00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,440

I worked hard,

believed in myself,

00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:10,235

and now I'm gonna be fighting

in the state championship game.

00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,072

This is gonna be

the biggest fight of my life.

00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,992

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,411

MAN:

This is "News 4 at Noon."

00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,872

The Colorado Little League

state championship

00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,290

is being played this week.

00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,792

Two teams of youngsters

get to go head-to-head

00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,462

at the Major League stadium

downtown.

00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,547

Tom, I'm standing here

with the little sluggers

00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:31,632

and some of their parents,

00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,967

and I can't tell you

how excited they are.

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,844

I don't suppose you guys

want to win this game?

00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,638

Win? Why the hell

would we want to win?

00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,474

Yeah. Then we'd have to play

this boring game all summer.

00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:41,850

Little Stan Marsh is the pitcher

00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,143

for the South Park

Little League team.

00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,853

Stan, how does it feel

to be playing

00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,730

for the state championship?

00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:47,731

Gay.

00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,691

Mr. Marsh, you must be

very proud of your son.

00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,652

They've worked really hard

to get here, Chris.

00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,737

You know, I don't like

to really "trash-talk,"

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,406

but I don't think Denver has

a chance.

00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,659

Oh! Well, I'm sure some of

the Denver kids' parents

00:10:58,784 --> 00:10:59,910

would disagree with you --

00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,412

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,581

South Park is goin' down!

00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,416

Feel it comin'!

00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,460

You ain't got a chance,

South Park!

00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,629

[ Chanting ]

Here we go, Denver, here we go!

00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,630

Huh! Huh!

00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,631

Who is that?

00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,008

That's Tom Nelson, one of

the Denver players' fathers.

00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,927

He goes to every game

in that ridiculous outfit

00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,346

and usually drinks too much

and gets into a fight.

00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,473

There ain't no way

some little mountain kids

00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,683

can beat Denver!

00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,768

Not with my son on second base!

00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:27,521

Oh, looks like we got some

parental trash-talking going on.

00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:28,897

Mr. Marsh, any comment?

00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,357

Well, I think

that there's a, uh --

00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,441

Mr. Marsh?!

00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,819

Who wants to hear

from a Mr. Marsh?!

00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:37,239

I am the ultimate Little League

trash-talking father!

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,783

I am the Bat Dad!

00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,702

All right, Mr. Nelson.

Let's go. Come on.

00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:45,414

Bat Dad knows no fear!

Bat Dad knows no pain!

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,083

I want you, Marsh!

I want you!

00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,752

Well, tension is

certainly high here,

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,463

but I guess everything will be

decided on the playing field.

00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,340

Oh, my...God.

00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,384

Good luck.

You're gonna need it.

00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,387

Yeah. You can't lose to us.

We're terrible.

00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:04,182

Dude, what are we gonna do?

We can't win this game.

00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,642

Wait.

I've got it, you guys.

00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,186

At this point in a sports movie,

the team always goes out

00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,522

and finds a really sweet player

to join their team.

00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,899

Like that motorcycle kid

in "Bad News Bears."

00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:13,984

Exactly right, Clyde.

00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:16,945

So what we need is to find

somebody to join our team

00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,864

who totally sucks ass.

00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:19,990

Hey, yeah.

00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,742

We need to find

the very worst kid athlete

00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,327

in the whole world,

somebody who can't possibly win.

00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:25,454

But who?

00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,205

I know who.

00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,626

MAN: Announcing the arrival of

flight 673 from New York City.

00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,379

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,424

I'm ba-a-a-ck!

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,425

There he is.

00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,218

Don't let him know

we think he's a loser,

00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,595

or else he won't play.

00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,847

Hello, cousin Kyle.

00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,515

Oh, Jesus.

That flight was terrible.

00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,268

They served a chicken dish with

hot sauce, and it gave me gas.

00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,395

Dude, thanks for helping us out

by joining our team.

00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,731

Well, you said you needed

my help to win the big game,

00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,940

so here I am.

00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,942

I'll need a wipe cloth

if I'm gonna play, though.

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,028

Sometimes I sweat from holding

the bat for so long,

00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,947

and then the heat

steams up my glasses.

00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,783

- He's perfect.

- Yeah.

00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,202

With him on our team,

we don't stand a chance.

00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:11,124

[ Soft piano music plays ]

00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,598

[ Gulls crying ]

00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,275

[ Music continues ]

00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,030

[ Latch clicks ]

00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,713

I'm not gonna go.

00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,048

What?

00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,550

Stan's Little League game.

00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,427

I'm -- I'm not gonna go.

00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,971

Why?

00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:11,059

I just...don't think I can,

all right?

00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,310

You don't think you can?

00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,187

This is the biggest game

of your son's life.

00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,022

Why wouldn't you go

and support him with --

00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,108

Because I'm scared, all right?!

00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,112

You want to break me down?!

You want to hear me to say it?!

00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,114

I'm scared!

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,616

I don't know if I believe

in myself anymore.

00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:30,412

I don't know if I can take

this guy, Sharon.

00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,872

So then don't.

00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,416

You don't have to get in fights

with other parents

00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,667

at Little League games.

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,627

Just sit there and watch.

00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,838

Look, I get

what you're trying to do.

00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,757

You're trying to get me to

realize that I have to fight him

00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:43,800

because it's who I am.

00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,469

No, I'm telling you you don't

have to get thrown out of games

00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,305

and make an ass of yourself!

00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,223

I've lost the edge.

00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,725

I'm sorry, Sharon,

00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,061

but you have to take Stan

to his Little League game alone.

00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,649

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,359

MAN: Welcome to

the Colorado Little League

00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,612

state championship game.

00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,906

This must be pretty exciting

for these youngsters --

00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,158

a chance to go

to the national circuit.

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,495

You know what these guys

look like to me?

00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:13,580

A bunch of winners.

00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,707

Yeah. We're about to get

our asses kicked.

00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,084

I don't think so.

You guys are way too good.

00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,586

You're the best at this game.

00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:20,670

You're the best.

00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:21,671

You guys are so good

00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,089

you'll probably go all the way

to win the national title.

00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,008

Not a chance, 'cause we're

gonna lose to you right now!

00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,718

Here we go, Denver!

00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,054

These South Park kids

got nothing on you!

00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,889

Let's go, Denver!

00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,682

Chris, will you sit down?

00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,894

First up to bat for South Park,

Kyle Schwartz.

00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,354

[Applause ]

00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,772

Where do I stand?

00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,774

Right over here.

00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,615

Don't throw the ball too fast,

00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,493

because I may get startled,

and I have asthma.

00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,538

Strike one!

00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,374

- Yeah!

- All right!

00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,125

Jesus!

Not so close!

00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,170

That was three feet away

from hitting me in the head!

00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,589

He's not gonna swing!

Throw balls!

00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:06,967

Oh, Jesus!

00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,426

Strike two!

00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,970

ALL:

Yeah!

00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,846

Wow!

He is great at sucking.

00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,099

We're gonna lose!

We're gonna lose!

00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,643

Don't throw it so hard

or so close next time.

00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,938

Is it cold out here?

I think I need a jacket.

00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,028

It's a bunt!

00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,405

Run, kid, run!

00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,532

Oh, Jesus!

00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,369

Aw, crap!

00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,913

[ Breathing heavily ]

00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,419

I can't -- I can't keep

running like this.

00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,087

I have corns in my feet.

00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,755

Keep running, kid!

00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,924

Throw the ball to third,

you idiots!

00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,551

He's running home!

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,303

Safe!

00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,596

[ Cheering ]

00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,266

[ Fireworks exploding ]

00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,018

Oh, Jesus!

Did you see that?

00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,185

I hit a home run!

00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,022

High five, everybody!

00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:03,106

Oh, my God.

00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,525

Their pitcher was able

to hit him right on the bat.

00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,943

Dude, we had it all wrong.

00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,362

While we spent all our time

trying to make our team suck,

00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:12,407

these guys practiced

and got really good at sucking.

00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,911

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:19,789

No!

00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,499

Yeah!

Go, Token, go!

00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:22,792

[ Organ playing ]

00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:26,171

All right, Denver!

You're up to bat now!

00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:36,431

Out!

00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,766

- Yay!

- Yay!

00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,143

Jesus Christ!

They can bat themselves out!

00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,979

[ Organ playing ]

00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,233

Our whole summer, dude.

00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,861

We have to play this boring game

all summer long.

00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,489

Son of a biscuit!

00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,909

[ Organ plays fanfare ]

00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:58,495

It's the bottom of the last

inning here at Coors Field.

00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:02,624

The score is South Park 23,

Denver 0.

00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,878

Strike one!

00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,631

Come on, Denver!

Get the lead out!

00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,342

Do not cross the Bat Dad!

00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,677

Geez, I really wish

this guy would shut up.

00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:17,430

Why don't you just go home,

South Park?!

00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,474

You can't beat Denver!

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,894

STAN'S DAD:

Denver sucks ass.

00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,855

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,487

Come on, South Park!

These kids can't play!

00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,783

In fact,

these kids are terrible.

00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,287

Strike two!

00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,039

Oh, Jesus!

We're gonna win!

00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:47,001

I-I've never won a sport before.

This is so exciting.

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,380

It's over, Denver.

South Park whupped your ass.

00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:54,259

You better shut your mouth

before I shut it for you!

00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,470

What do you want to do, huh?

00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,472

Aah!

00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,396

This can't get any worse.

00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,523

[ Both grunting ]

00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,195

Now for the finishing move!

00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,490

You're about to be

Bat-Dadded!

00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,245

[ Grunts ]

00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,746

It all comes down to this.

00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540

South Park

is just one pitch away

00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,834

from being state champions.

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,170

[ Grunting ]

00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,214

Oh, geez. It looks like

two parents are fighting.

00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,257

They'd better be careful.

00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,551

The Little League has

a no-tolerance policy.

00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,219

- [ Men grunting ]

- Stop!

00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,514

Stop or you're gonna get

your teams disqualified!

00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,766

Disqualified?

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,311

Fight!

Keep fighting!

00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,938

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,733

Break it up!

Break it up!

00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,319

[ Roars ]

00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,907

[ Music continues ]

00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:03,953

That's enough!

00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:07,040

The next person that fights is

getting his team disqualified.

00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,667

He's done for anyway.

00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,711

[ Heart beating ]

00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,463

[ Echoing ]

Come on, Dad. Get up.

00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:14,881

Get up!

You have to fight!

00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,384

All right. Come on.

Let's play ball.

00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,763

[ Chanting ]

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,890

Get up, Rock!

00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,934

Get up, ya bum!

00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,062

Get up, Randy!

Fight! Fight for me!

00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,981

[ Chanting ]

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,901

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:38,154

Randy! Randy! Randy!

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,656

Hey, Bat Dad.

00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,161

I didn't hear no bell.

00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,913

ALL:

Yeah!

00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,748

[ Grunting ]

00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,166

Stop!

Stop right now!

00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,752

[ High-pitched ]

♪ I'm the best around ♪

00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,004

[ Humming ]

00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,422

I'm warning you, sir.

00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,174

♪ The best around ♪

00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,425

[ Grunts ]

00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:04,514

That's it! That's it!

South Park is disqualified!

00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,974

ALL:

Yeah!

00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,892

ALL:

Aww!

00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,061

South Park has been disqualified

from the game.

00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,354

Denver wins!

00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,023

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,025

[ Boys cheering ]

00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,902

ALL:

Aww!

00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,779

We -- We lost?

00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,616

What?! What?!

I thought it was a free country!

00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:24,659

STAN:

Dad!

00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,495

You're the greatest.

00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,873

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,625

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,128

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,879

♪ And nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,382

♪ You're the best around ♪

00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:42,844

♪ Nothing's gonna ever

keep you down ♪

00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,887

♪ Down ♪

00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,807

♪ Fight to the end

'cause your life will depend ♪

00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,809

♪ On the strength

that you have inside you ♪

00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,020

♪ Ah, got to be proud,

standing out in the crowd ♪

00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,105

♪ When the odds in the game

defy you ♪

00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,190

♪ You try your best

to win them all ♪

00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,359

♪ And one day time will tell ♪

00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,486

♪ When you're the one

that's standing there ♪

00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:02,613

♪ You'll reach the final bell ♪

00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,740

♪ You're the best ♪