Лучшие друзья навсегда

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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Mom! Mom, get up!

We have to go!

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Mom, get up!

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Oh, poopykins, it's very early.

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Mom, I told you --

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The new Sony PSP game machine

goes on sale at 7:00 a.m. today.

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I have to be the first

to get one.

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Come on!

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Sweetie, can't we go

after school?

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Everyone's moms are taking

their kids after school.

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We're outsmarting everyone

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by getting to the store

right when it opens.

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Let's go!

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I can't wait to see

the look on everyone's faces

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when I show up to school

with a PSP.

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I wonder if Kyle will cry.

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Oh, please, let Kyle cry.

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What the hell?!

00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,828

Kenny, when did you get here?

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Mrph rm.

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Friday?!

Aw, Jesus!

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I'll just...

sort of get in -- in here.

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Hey, dickhole,

what do you think you're doing?

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Uh, my friend Kenny was saving

my place in line.

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There's no saving places,

fourthie.

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Get to the back

or we'll beat your face in.

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Oh, God damn it!

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They'd better not sell out.

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That thing is pretty cool.

What games did you get with it?

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It's a game called

Heaven vs. Hell.

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Kenny commands the armies

of heaven

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against the forces of Satan.

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Dude, you see what Kenny got?

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Yes, yes! I know!

Up yours, Kyle!

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W-What'd I do?

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Just shut your Jew mouth!

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Congratulations!

You have reached level 9.

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Wow!

Level 9 already?

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Dude, you kick ass

at Heaven vs. Hell.

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Yeah, Kenny finally found

something he's really good at.

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Kenny?

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Kenny, are you still playing

with that thing?

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Kenny, it's been two weeks,

and you've done nothing else.

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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Who cares if you almost made it

to level 60?!

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You're wasting your life, Kenny!

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If you died tomorrow, what would

you have to show for it?

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You're gonna end up wishing

you'd done more with your life,

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just like your deadbeat father!

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Hey, I heard that, bitch!

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I wasn't talking to you,

asshole!

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How about I come in there

and kick your teeth in?!

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I'd like to see you try!

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You have to smart

off to me in my own house?!

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It's my house, too,

you no-good loser!

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You have reached level 60!

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Mrph!

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Mrph rm!

Mrph rmhmhm!

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Mrph rmhmhm --

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Oh, yeah!

Level 4! Sweet!

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Mrph rmhmhm rm.

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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Mrph rm!

Mrph rm!

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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Mrph rm!

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Open the gate!

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Open the gate!

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Welcome to the kingdom

of heaven, Kenny.

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I am Peter.

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Mrph rmh mrph rmphm?

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There isn't much time, Kenny.

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You are dead,

but your death was no accident.

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Heaven needs you.

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Mrph?

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Come.

There's much to discuss.

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Things are not good in heaven,

Kenny.

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Satan is planning

a massive attack,

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and he knows we are too few

in number to stop him.

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God has changed the rules here.

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For ages, only Mormons

were allowed into heaven.

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- Hey!

- Hi there!

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- Hello!

- Oh, hi!

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But knowing that hell

was becoming much larger,

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God decided to let

more people cross over

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so that he could build

an army as well --

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an army that you must command.

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Mrph rm?!

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The Sony PSP was built by God

to determine who on earth

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had the best skills to defeat

the armies of Satan.

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You are the best.

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You are the only hope

for the universe.

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Satan's army grows as we speak.

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The dark lord knows that

our armies are few in number

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and unorganized, so our only

hope is perfect strategy.

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A child?

This is God's solution?

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He beat Satan's army in over

3,000 separate simulations.

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Archangel Michael, what say you?

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The child did something

none of us could --

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reach level 60 on the PSP.

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I don't know if that's luck

or perseverance,

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but it's goddamned impressive.

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All right, Kenny, let me show

you what we're up against.

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This is the kingdom of heaven.

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Satan's army will attack

the gates here.

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They are 10 billion in number,

maybe more.

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Our armies are here, here,

and here --

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just under 10,000 strong.

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We are outnumbered

and in need of someone

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who can single-handedly bring

the whole dark empire down.

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Basically, Kenny,

you are Keanu Reeves.

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My fellow damned souls,

now is the time for our assault.

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You know no fear!

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You will drink the blood

of angels!

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We go now!

Nothing can stop us!

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Move aside!

Step aside, I say!

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Satan, God has mocked Thee

once again.

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My spy.

00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,785

God has found a way

to defeat your army.

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Impossible. How?

00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,454

A young man.

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Basically, he --

he's like Keanu Reeves.

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Oh, Jesus Christ.

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My lord.

My lord, we must attack now.

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,633

What's the point?

They have a Keanu Reeves now.

00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,511

Do not fear, my lord.

Your army is great.

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Very well.

00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,266

Demon army,

begin your march on heaven.

00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,191

Up here you get

the best tactical view

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to protect the fortress.

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It is from here, Kenny,

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that you shall command

the armies of heaven.

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Mrph?

Mrph rmh rmphm?

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Simple.

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You will use...this.

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This golden PSP

is king of all PSPs.

00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,128

Hail the Holy PSP.

00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,422

It works just like the ones

we sent to earth.

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All the commands you make

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will be sent to the troops

down on the battlefield.

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All you have to do

is play the game, Kenny.

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Only this time, it's for reals.

00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,267

Gabriel returns with news.

00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,103

Hell's army is departing.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,147

They head now

for the gates of heaven.

00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,983

Prepare the troops!

We must be ready for them!

00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,109

The time is at hand, Kenny.

00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,694

The stage is set,

and the final battle

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between heaven and hell

is about to begin!

00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,157

The fate of the outcome

is in your hands.

00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,535

Where'd he go?

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,705

Doctor!

Doctor, we have a pulse!

00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,082

Then that's it!

We've brought him back.

00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,542

Amazing, Doctor.

00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,877

You've revived somebody

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who's been legally dead

for almost a day.

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,589

Call the parents.

00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:30,677

They're going to be shocked

to find out their son is alive.

00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,724

It's the latest

in electroplastilical science.

00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,227

Your son's organs

are all functioning again.

00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,229

It's a miracle.

00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,939

Kenny, you're alive.

00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,941

I'm afraid he can't respond

to you.

00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,692

You see,

being dead for that long,

00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,570

most of Kenny's brain cells died

from lack of oxygen.

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Your son is alive

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but in what we call

a persistive vegetative state.

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Will he ever recover?

00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,328

I'm afraid no.

00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,664

Brain cells cannot be repaired

once dead.

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But his soul is still in here.

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Almost trapped in here,

if you will.

00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,004

Kenny is the same

as he ever was.

00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:10,217

It's just that now

he's more like...a tomato.

00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,095

He can't move on his own?

How will he eat?

00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,513

A feeding tube.

00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:17,266

It pumps a nutrient paste

directly into Kenny's stomach.

00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,685

With it we can actually keep

Kenny the tomato

00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,228

alive for years.

00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,276

A feeding tube?

00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,862

Yes. Apparently they're using

machines to keep him alive.

00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,073

But that's not natural!

00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:36,201

God intended Kenny to die!

What are these people doing?!

00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:40,080

The child's soul is now trapped

inside his vegetative body.

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,833

We have no one to command

the troops with the PSP.

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:45,085

And Satan's armies

are approaching.

00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,297

Oh, God damn it.

00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,469

Boys, I want to thank you

for coming down to my office

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on such short notice.

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Are we in trouble or something?

00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,560

No.

Boys, I'm a lawyer.

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Your friend Kenny passed away,

00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,647

and I've called you here

to read his will.

00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:06,857

Kenny had a will?

00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,110

"In the highly likely event

of my death,

00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,904

I, Kenny McCormick,

wish to leave all my belongings

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to my good friends Stan

and Kyle.

00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:19,077

Dudes, you were the best friends

a guy could have."

00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:20,746

Oh, wow.

00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,956

That's...really touching.

00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,166

Fags.

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,128

"To Eric Cartman --

Eric, I never really liked you.

00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,838

But, then, nobody does.

00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,923

You have no ability to feel,

00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:34,635

and you are going to die alone

and miserable.

00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,387

It is only because I feel

so sorry for you

00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,848

that I leave you my Sony PSP."

00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,601

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, baby!

00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,770

Who's the man?!

Who's the man?!

00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,439

"There is one more thing

I would like to ask you all

00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,940

as my friends.

00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,777

If I should ever be

in a vegetative state

00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:55,781

and kept alive on life support,

please..."

00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,327

Please what?

00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,247

I don't know.

I lost the last page.

00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,749

Who cares?!

Kenny's dead!

00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,793

When do I take possession

of my PSP, sir?

00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,087

It's right here, along with

Kenny's other belongings.

00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,380

They're all yours.

00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,466

Yes.

00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,301

- He's alive!

- What?

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,554

Kenny McCormick!

He's alive at the hospital!

00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,014

Oh, my God!

00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,779

Your army nears

the kingdom of heaven, my lord.

00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,572

I don't know

if we should continue

00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,742

without knowing more

about this Keanu Reeves God has.

00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,286

Satan, I come bearing good news.

00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:46,164

The Keanu Reeves boy

has been revived on earth.

00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,291

His soul is no longer in heaven.

00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,712

Then God is helpless.

00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,672

Full march

to the gates of heaven!

00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,466

Victory is ours!

00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,095

Kenny?

00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,722

Kenny, you're alive!

00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,890

Dude, how'd you do that?

00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,976

He can't respond to you, boys.

00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,729

Being dead for that long caused

severe damage to his brain.

00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,814

Well --

Well, then he's not alive.

00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,608

He's alive.

He smiled when I talked to him.

00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:14,901

I think.

00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,069

That's not Kenny!

00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,280

Kenny sniffs paint and sets

things on fire. Here. Look.

00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,575

Kenny? Kenny, look.

You want a dollar?

00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,951

I don't know if it's right

00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,870

to keep Kenny alive

on that machine.

00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,414

I-I just -- I don't know

what he would want.

00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,207

Yeah.

The lawyer lost that page.

00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,333

Oh, I just remembered!

00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,877

Kenny told me this one time

00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,337

that he wouldn't want to be

kept alive by a feeding tube.

00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:35,380

He did?

When?

00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:38,091

Um, it was, um, this one time.

00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,593

He did not say that.

00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,012

You just want him dead

so you can have his stupid PSP!

00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,930

Stupid?

PSP is stupid?!

00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,182

Did you all hear that?!

00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,684

I mean -- I mean

this isn't about PSP, Kyle.

00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,728

This is about my friend

and his wishes.

00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,521

And Kenny said he didn't want to

live like this.

00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:52,689

- He did not!

- Did so!

00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:53,774

- Did not!

- Fine!

00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,358

We'll see about this,

you frickin' Jew!

00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,110

I'm gonna get that

feeding tube removed

00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,696

if I have to go all the way

to the Supreme Court!

00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,619

Satan's army has crossed over

the plains of limbo.

00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,204

Then they will be here

on the morrow.

00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,413

Without Kenny's soul here,

00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,749

there will be nobody

who can use the Holy PSP.

00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,543

No!

There is another.

00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,755

A Japanese boy did make it

to level 59.

00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,883

Are you stupid, Uriel?

00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,093

Japanese people

don't have souls.

00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:22,928

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,387

- Yeah!

- Yeah, Uriel.

00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,972

Oh, right, right.

I'm sorry.

00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:29,184

Kenny remains our only hope.

Here is what we must do.

00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,061

Gabriel and Uriel,

you go down to earth

00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,646

and try to get

that feeding tube removed.

00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,564

In the meantime...

00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,483

...we will put all our troops

at heaven's gate.

00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,735

We will try to keep hell's army

from breaking through

00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:39,861

as long as possible.

00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,864

Hopefully,

it will be long enough

00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,867

to get our Keanu Reeves back.

00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,162

You see, Your Honors,

I was the only one

00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,331

that Kenny McCormick

told his wishes to.

00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,749

And Kenny told me specifically

00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,418

that he would never want to be

kept alive on machines.

00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:58,004

What they are doing to him

is not right.

00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,923

Well, I'm sorry, young man,

00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,925

but the parents want

their child kept alive.

00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,177

I don't believe you have

any legal authority here.

00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,137

I do have legal authority,

Your Honor.

00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:10,600

You see, I was Kenny's BFF.

00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,104

Best friends forever?

00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:14,980

That's right.

00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,731

Kenny and I have been BFFs

since first grade.

00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,233

Here. Look.

00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,694

Kenny has the other half

of this BFF necklace.

00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,571

I believe you all know

what that means

00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,948

and how serious this is.

00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:29,202

Look, Kenny. Your friends

are here to visit you again.

00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,079

But this just doesn't

seem right.

00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,706

W-What's the matter, Doctor?

00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,541

I'm afraid I've been given

a court order

00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,126

to remove Kenny's feeding tube.

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,002

What?

00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,295

He's right in here.

00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,212

Cartman!

00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,006

Kenny's BFF says

00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,466

that Kenny didn't want to be

kept alive artificially.

00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:46,177

The courts have determined

we must obey his wish.

00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,430

Cartman is not Kenny's BFF!

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,223

Sir, take a look at this.

00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,895

That's all the verification

we need.

00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,479

Pull the feeding tube, Doctor.

00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,814

No, Doctor, you can't!

00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,483

I'm sorry.

I have no choice.

00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,781

Here is the hospital.

00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:07,991

This is hopeless, Gabriel.

00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,701

We cannot interact

with anything on earth.

00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,703

How can we possibly get

a feeding tube removed?

00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:14,456

That dirty, evil,

no-good son of a bitch!

00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,333

Now that Cartman

got Kenny's feeding tube out,

00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,834

he's gonna die for sure.

00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,336

The tube has been removed?

00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,713

How can they let an 8-year-old

decide Kenny's fate?

00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,132

Apparently some blessed child

has done our work for us.

00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,258

Good.

00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,177

Now all we must do is pray

nobody interferes

00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,845

with the child's death

a second time.

00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,305

Dude, we have to do

whatever we can

00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,848

to get that feeding tube

put back in.

00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,308

- Yeah.

- No!

00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,893

Let's go to the, uh, media.

00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,311

We'll make everyone

in the country know

00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,312

they're killing Kenny.

00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,355

Yeah! Come on!

00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,023

No. No.

No! Boys!

00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,983

Aw, God damn it!

00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,695

This is HBC news.

00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,492

A right-to-die debate

is heating up in Colorado,

00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,118

where Kenny McCormick's

feeding tube

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,496

has been removed by his BFF.

00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,998

Two boys are bringing

national attention to the story

00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,417

by protesting outside

the hospital.

00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:01,753

Don't kill Kenny!

00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:02,963

You bastards!

00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,506

Don't kill Kenny!

00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,757

You bastards!

00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,384

No!

No, they're not killing him.

00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,635

They're letting him die!

00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,304

You bureaucrats have no right

to play God

00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,847

and take that tube out!

00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,516

No, no.

See, they were playing God

00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,267

when they put

the feeding tube in.

00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:19,145

A woman was arrested for trying

to bring food to the patient.

00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,940

Get your man hands off of me!

00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,817

However,

a growing number of people

00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:27,237

are also standing behind

Kenny's BFF, Eric Cartman.

00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,532

We must respect the wishes

of people's BFFs.

00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,536

Otherwise, all our BFF necklaces

would become meaningless.

00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,204

We all have BFFs,

00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,582

and we believe a BFF

is the highest legal authority.

00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:42,460

That's right.

Respect our authoritah.

00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:45,046

What mockery is this?!

00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,464

My lord?

00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,008

The feeding tube

has been pulled.

00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,260

If the child dies

and his soul returns to heaven,

00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:52,303

God will have his Keanu Reeves.

00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,348

Perhaps the child won't die

in time.

00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,100

Forget it!

I'm calling the attack off.

00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,101

No!

00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,729

Keep your army marching,

my lord.

00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:04,065

I will get that feeding tube

put back in.

00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,400

How?

00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,320

I will do what we always do --

use the Republicans.

00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,742

We Republicans

are deeply saddened

00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,952

by the tragic events

in Colorado.

00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,708

Removing the feeding tube

is murder.

00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,419

Removing the feeding tube

is murder.

00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,422

Who are we to decide

that Kenny should live or die?

00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,842

Who are we to decide

that Kenny should live or die?

00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,261

It is God's will that he live.

00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,513

It is God's will that he live!

00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,685

No, no.

You don't say that part.

00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,772

No, no.

You don't say that part.

00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:58,203

Jesus.

Their army is massive.

00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,413

Heaven help us.

00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,458

The biggest battle of all time

is about to begin --

00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,168

the battle

of the feeding tube --

00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,337

as people on both sides

of the argument

00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,838

vie for media attention.

00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,843

We want all the country to see

that Kenny is alive and in pain.

00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,346

I believe the people at home

can see he's not in pain

00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,472

because he's a tomato.

00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,432

You say tomato, but I say Kenny!

00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,184

You say Kenny, but I say tomato!

00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,769

- Tomato!

- Kenny!

00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,021

- Kenny!

- Tomato!

00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,356

Uh, excuse me.

00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,651

I, uh, just found the last page

of Kenny's will.

00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:32,570

What?

00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:35,323

I found the page where

Kenny specified his wishes

00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,075

about being on life support.

00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,952

Well, what does it say?

00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:41,079

"If I should ever be

00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:45,083

in a vegetative state

and kept alive on life support,

00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:46,626

please...

00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:51,464

...for the love of God, don't

ever show me in that condition

00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,925

on national television."

00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,263

Ooh.

00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,223

Whoops.

00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,309

Oh, geez.

00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,353

Maybe we let this thing

get out of hand.

00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,813

This issue is so complicated,

00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:10,108

but maybe we should

just let Kenny go in peace.

00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,235

You mean Cartman's side

is right?

00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,863

Cartman's side is right

for the wrong reasons,

00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,740

but we're wrong

for the right reasons.

00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:18,825

Yeah.

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:19,951

Come on, everybody.

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,287

I think Kenny

wants to be left alone.

00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:31,921

We've just received word that

Kenny McCormick has passed away.

00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:34,007

The debate still rages on

in America,

00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:38,887

but at least now Kenny is in

a much more peaceful place.

00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,472

Satan's army has broken through

the gates!

00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,183

We're gonna die!

00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,226

Send all troops

to the battlefield.

00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,061

I will command as best I can.

00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,605

Michael!

Michael!

00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,149

The humans finally did

the right thing!

00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:53,151

Oh, my God.

They killed Kenny!

00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,903

Get him into

the command station! Hurry!

00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,446

Satan's army charges.

00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,156

Tell our troops

what to do, Kenny.

00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,075

So it begins.

00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,369

Now we shall see

the final battle

00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:06,122

between heaven and hell

play out.

00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:12,795

Yes!

Good, Kenny.

00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:15,215

The angel spearmen are taking

out their demon soulrippers.

00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,551

Oh, the calvary angels

are clashing

00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,345

with their black knights.

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,389

Oh, my God!

My God, this battle is epic!

00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,476

Oh, they're bringing in

their demon dragons.

00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,603

Look at the size of them!

00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,899

My God, this is even bigger

than the final battle

00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,359

in the "Lord of the Rings"

movie!

00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,153

It's like -- it's like 10 times

bigger than that battle.

00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,908

No! No!

How are we losing?

00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,078

The child's soul is in heaven!

God has his secret weapon!

00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:46,496

Full retreat!

00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:47,747

Patience, my lord.

00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:48,748

No, Kevin!

00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,292

That's it --

I'm breaking up with you!

00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,129

Yes.

Yes, Kenny!

00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,006

Satan's forces are retreating!

00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,133

This is truly a sight to behold.

00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,177

Oh, I wish I had a camcorder!

00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,514

We have done it!

00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:07,058

We have defeated

the armies of Satan!

00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:10,520

Yay!

00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,106

Kenny, bless your soul!

00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,899

You've saved all of heaven!

00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,234

Yes, Kenny.

00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,152

And to thank you

for what you've done,

00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:21,364

we are going to give you

a very special gift.

00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,242

For saving the entire universe

from the forces of evil,

00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,911

we give you this...

00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:31,082

...Keanu Reeves statue.

00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,209

Congratulations.

00:00:38,526 --> 00:00:41,506

Мам! Мам! Вставай, надо идти!

МАМ, ВСТАВАЙ!

00:00:41,636 --> 00:00:43,836

О, мой пупочка, но сейчас ведь так рано.

00:00:43,846 --> 00:00:45,036

Мам, ну я же тебе говорил!

00:00:45,076 --> 00:00:47,926

Новую игру Sony PSP начинают

продавать сегодня с семи утра.

00:00:48,026 --> 00:00:49,646

Я должен быть первым, у кого она появится!

00:00:49,676 --> 00:00:50,486

Идём же!

00:00:50,706 --> 00:00:52,356

А нельзя сделать это после школы, сладенький?

00:00:52,706 --> 00:00:54,506

После школы все будут с родителями.

00:00:54,736 --> 00:00:57,876

А мы всех перехитрим и будем в магазине,

как только он откроется! Пойдём!

00:00:59,446 --> 00:01:02,656

Жду не дождусь, когда посмотрю на их рожи,

когда я появлюсь в школе с PSP!

00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:04,046

Интересно, Кайл заплачет?

00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:05,926

Господи, пусть Кайл заплачет!

00:01:09,256 --> 00:01:10,596

Какого чёрта?

00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,256

Кенни, ты когда сюда пришёл?

00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:18,946

(В пятницу)

00:01:19,136 --> 00:01:21,406

В пятницу?! Господи!

00:01:21,846 --> 00:01:23,926

Я, типа... сюда.. сюда.

00:01:24,226 --> 00:01:26,136

Эй, жопа! Ты чего делаешь?

00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:28,286

Э, мой друг Кенни занимал мне место в очереди.

00:01:28,326 --> 00:01:30,416

Эй, четвероклашка, здесь не занимают!

00:01:30,596 --> 00:01:32,366

Вали в конец очереди, а то мы тебе морду набьём!

00:01:32,746 --> 00:01:34,446

Чёрт побери!

00:01:37,256 --> 00:01:39,136

Хоть бы не распродали всё!

00:01:44,156 --> 00:01:46,526

Крутая штука. А какие там есть игры?

00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:47,966

Эта называется "Рай против Ада".

00:01:48,146 --> 00:01:50,606

Кенни играет войсками Рая против сил Сатаны.

00:01:53,776 --> 00:01:55,386

Чувак, ты видел, что есть у Кенни?

00:01:55,426 --> 00:01:56,996

ДА, ДА, Я ЗНАЮ!

ЗАСУНЬ ЕЁ СЕБЕ В ЖОПУ, КАЙЛ!

00:01:57,356 --> 00:01:58,136

Да ты чего?..

00:01:58,366 --> 00:01:59,636

ПРОСТО ЗАТКНИСЬ, ЕВРЕЙ!

00:02:00,096 --> 00:02:03,926

"Поздравляю! Вы достигли ...девятого уровня!"

00:02:04,296 --> 00:02:07,406

Вау, уже девятый? Чувак, да ты клёво играешь

в "Рай против Ада".

00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:09,576

Ага, наконец-то Кенни нашёл что-то, что у него

хорошо получается.

00:02:39,256 --> 00:02:41,496

Кенни, ты всё ещё играешь с этой штукой?

00:02:42,566 --> 00:02:45,216

Кенни, ты уже две недели ничем

другим не занимаешься!

00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,476

(Я почти дошёл до шестидесятого уровня!)

00:02:46,646 --> 00:02:48,856

Да кому интересно, что ты почти на

шестидесятом уровне?!

00:02:49,026 --> 00:02:50,576

Ты зря тратишь своё время, Кенни!

00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,716

Если бы ты завтра умер, что бы ты мог

сказать о прожитой жизни?!

00:02:53,786 --> 00:02:57,926

В итоге будешь жалеть, что не сделал большего

в своей жизни, так же, как твой бездельник-отец!

00:02:58,096 --> 00:02:59,356

Эй, сука, я это слышал!

00:02:59,536 --> 00:03:01,296

А я не с тобой разговаривала, козёл!!

00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,356

А если я сейчас приду и дам тебе по зубам?

00:03:03,396 --> 00:03:04,506

Ну попробуй!

00:03:04,526 --> 00:03:06,986

Чёрт возьми, ты ещё будешь тут умничать,

в моём собственном доме?!

00:03:07,226 --> 00:03:09,476

Это и мой дом тоже, лох тупой!

00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:11,746

Вы достигли шестидесятого уровня!

00:03:12,246 --> 00:03:16,026

(Да! Ураа! Зашибись! Я дошёл до шес-!)

00:03:18,876 --> 00:03:21,206

О, да, четвёртый уровень, клёво!

00:03:26,426 --> 00:03:27,616

(Хм, странно.)

00:03:28,966 --> 00:03:32,016

(Я летаю! Не может быть! Эй, подождите!)

00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:49,846

Откройте ворота!

00:03:50,246 --> 00:03:51,586

Откройте ворота!

00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,776

Добро пожаловать в Царствие Небесное, Кенни.

00:04:02,096 --> 00:04:03,516

Я Пётр.

00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:06,126

(Что за х**ня?)

00:04:06,966 --> 00:04:08,576

У нас мало времени, Кенни.

00:04:08,586 --> 00:04:11,436

Ты умер, но твоя смерть не была случайной.

00:04:12,026 --> 00:04:13,116

Ты нужен Раю.

00:04:14,136 --> 00:04:14,956

(Я??)

00:04:15,246 --> 00:04:17,236

Идём! Нам надо многое обсудить.

00:04:28,626 --> 00:04:30,246

Не всё в порядке на Небесах, Кенни.

00:04:30,606 --> 00:04:32,316

Сатана планирует массированное наступление,

00:04:32,346 --> 00:04:34,496

и он знает, что нас слишком мало,

и мы его не остановим!

00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:36,696

Бог поменял местные порядки.

00:04:36,696 --> 00:04:39,016

Веками в Рай брали только мормонов.

00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,676

Привет!

Как поживаете?

Привет!

00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,596

Но так как Ад становится всё сильнее,

00:04:43,606 --> 00:04:46,796

то Бог решил брать и других,

чтобы можно было собрать армию,

00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:49,746

которой ТЫ должен будешь командовать.

00:04:50,396 --> 00:04:51,476

(Чего-чего я буду делать??)

00:04:52,116 --> 00:04:55,696

Sony PSP была сделана Богом

для того чтобы найти тех,

00:04:55,846 --> 00:04:58,286

кто лучше других может справиться

с армией Сатаны.

00:04:58,286 --> 00:05:03,046

Ты... самый лучший. ТЫ - единственная

надежда Вселенной.

00:05:04,996 --> 00:05:07,676

Пока мы говорим, войско Сатаны растёт.

00:05:07,676 --> 00:05:11,456

Тёмный Владыка знает, что наши войска

малы и неорганизованны.

00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:13,206

Так что наша единственная надежда...

00:05:13,786 --> 00:05:16,256

это совершенная стратегия.

00:05:16,326 --> 00:05:18,906

Ребёнок? Это и есть то, что придумал Бог?

00:05:18,956 --> 00:05:22,256

Он победил войско Сатаны более чем в т

рёх тысячах отдельных моделирований.

00:05:22,606 --> 00:05:24,616

Архангел Михаил, что скажете?

00:05:28,156 --> 00:05:30,316

Ребёнок сделал то, чего не смог

сделать ни один из нас:

00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,676

дошёл до шестидесятого уровня на PSP.

00:05:32,996 --> 00:05:36,436

Я не знаю, было ли это везением или упорством,

но, чёрт возьми, это было впечатляюще!

00:05:36,806 --> 00:05:39,406

Ладно, Кенни, давай я тебе покажу,

с чем нам предстоит столкнуться.

00:05:41,546 --> 00:05:43,416

Это Царствие Небесное.

00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:46,446

Войско Сатаны будет атаковать ворота ...здесь.

00:05:46,996 --> 00:05:49,476

Их... десять миллиардов. Может больше.

00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:54,616

Наши войска расположены здесь, здесь и здесь.

00:05:54,836 --> 00:05:57,566

Чуть меньше... десяти тысяч.

00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:04,896

Мы в меньшинстве и нам нужен кто-то,

кто сможет одолеть всю Тёмную Империю.

00:06:05,446 --> 00:06:07,396

Проще говоря, Кенни,

00:06:07,546 --> 00:06:09,036

ты - Киану Ривз.

00:06:24,336 --> 00:06:27,516

Собратья мои, проклятые души!

00:06:27,876 --> 00:06:30,646

Настал час завоеваний!

00:06:31,846 --> 00:06:35,696

Вы не знаете страха!

Вы будете пить кровь ангелов!

00:06:37,036 --> 00:06:39,606

Мы идём! И ничто нас не остановит!

00:06:40,416 --> 00:06:42,946

Расступитесь! Расступитесь, говорю вам!

00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,806

Сатана! Бог опять нас перехитрил!

00:06:46,476 --> 00:06:47,606

Мой шпион!

00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:50,046

Бог нашёл способ победить вашу армию.

00:06:50,146 --> 00:06:51,856

Это невозможно! Как?!

00:06:51,906 --> 00:06:52,886

Молодой парень.

00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:55,996

Проще говоря, он как Киану Ривз.

00:06:57,676 --> 00:06:59,226

О, Боже мой.

00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,846

Господин. Господин, нужно атаковать, сейчас!

00:07:02,466 --> 00:07:05,216

Какой смысл?! У них теперь есть Киану Ривз.

00:07:05,316 --> 00:07:07,786

Не бойтесь, Господин. Ваша армия сильна!

00:07:07,976 --> 00:07:08,886

Ну, хорошо.

00:07:10,036 --> 00:07:12,996

Демоническая армия, начинайте

марш на Рай!

00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:22,656

Отсюда открывается лучший

тактический вид для обороны крепости.

00:07:23,146 --> 00:07:25,946

С этого места, Кенни, ты и будешь

командовать силами Рая.

00:07:26,406 --> 00:07:28,296

(Ладно. А как это делать?)

00:07:28,586 --> 00:07:31,696

Просто. С помощью... вот этого.

00:07:36,086 --> 00:07:39,096

Эта золотая PSP - королева всех PSP.

00:07:39,256 --> 00:07:41,556

Да восславится священная PSP.

00:07:41,606 --> 00:07:43,826

Она работает так же, как и те,

что мы посылали на Землю.

00:07:44,176 --> 00:07:47,596

Все команды, которые ты отдашь,

будут переданы войскам на поле боя.

00:07:47,886 --> 00:07:49,956

Тебе нужно просто играть, Кенни.

00:07:50,026 --> 00:07:53,026

Только на этот раз всё по-настоящему.

00:07:53,726 --> 00:07:55,496

Гавриил возвращается с новостями!

00:07:57,396 --> 00:07:58,706

Адская армия наступает!

00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,326

Они направляются к Райским Вратам.

00:08:00,516 --> 00:08:01,596

Отряды, приготовиться!

00:08:01,826 --> 00:08:02,866

Мы должны быть наготове!

00:08:03,376 --> 00:08:04,546

Всё вот-вот начнётся, Кенни.

00:08:04,766 --> 00:08:07,596

Начнётся последняя битва между

Раем и Адом!

00:08:07,916 --> 00:08:09,946

Её исход зависит от тебя.

00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:13,406

Куда он?

00:08:14,866 --> 00:08:16,846

Доктор! Доктор, пульс появился!

00:08:17,326 --> 00:08:19,436

Вот оно! Мы его вытянули.

00:08:19,626 --> 00:08:20,986

Поразительно, доктор!

00:08:21,396 --> 00:08:24,416

Вы оживили человека, который по

всем законам был мёртв почти целый день!

00:08:24,646 --> 00:08:25,906

Позвоните родителям.

00:08:26,366 --> 00:08:28,316

Они будут потрясены...

00:08:28,476 --> 00:08:30,476

тем что их сын жив.

00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:33,036

Больница "Пропуск в Ад"

00:08:33,426 --> 00:08:36,256

Это последнее достижение

электро-пластилической науки.

00:08:36,406 --> 00:08:38,586

Органы вашего сына снова

полностью функционируют.

00:08:39,226 --> 00:08:42,006

Это чудо... Кенни, ты жив.

00:08:42,576 --> 00:08:44,506

Боюсь, он не может вам ответить.

00:08:44,696 --> 00:08:46,186

Видите ли, из-за того что

Кенни так долго был мёртв,

00:08:46,356 --> 00:08:48,896

большая часть клеток его мозга

погибла без кислорода.

00:08:49,116 --> 00:08:53,956

Ваш сын жив, но в состоянии,

которое называется "хронически вегетативным".

00:08:54,146 --> 00:08:55,426

Он когда-нибудь оправится?

00:08:55,606 --> 00:08:56,576

Боюсь, что нет.

00:08:56,876 --> 00:08:59,036

Мозговые клетки не восстанавливаются.

00:08:59,326 --> 00:09:01,596

Но его душа всё ещё здесь.

00:09:01,846 --> 00:09:04,316

Как бы... заперта здесь, если хотите.

00:09:04,636 --> 00:09:06,326

Кенни остался таким же, каким был всегда.

00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:09,806

Просто теперь он больше похож на ...растение.

00:09:10,986 --> 00:09:13,516

Он не может двигаться... А как он будет есть?

00:09:13,546 --> 00:09:15,016

Через трубку системы искусственного питания.

00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:17,766

Питательная смесь вкачивается

через неё прямо в желудок Кенни.

00:09:17,796 --> 00:09:21,936

С её помощью мы сможем поддерживать

Кенни в растительном состоянии годами.

00:09:25,886 --> 00:09:27,826

Система искусственного питания?!

00:09:27,926 --> 00:09:31,496

Да. По-видимому, они используют аппараты

для того чтобы поддерживать его жизнь.

00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:33,626

Но... это же не естественно.

00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:36,366

Бог хотел, чтобы Кенни умер!

Что творят эти люди?!

00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:40,386

Душа ребёнка заперта в его беспомощном теле.

00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:43,096

Командовать отрядами через PSP некому.

00:09:43,256 --> 00:09:45,476

Войско Сатаны приближается.

00:09:45,766 --> 00:09:47,646

Черт возьми!

00:09:52,205 --> 00:09:56,325

Спасибо, мальчики, что так быстро

откликнулись на мою просьбу придти сюда.

00:09:58,455 --> 00:09:59,855

У нас проблемы?

00:10:00,115 --> 00:10:01,855

Нет, мальчики, я адвокат.

00:10:01,855 --> 00:10:05,415

Ваш друг Кенни скончался,

и я позвал вас, чтобы огласить его завещание.

00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,025

У Кенни было завещание?

00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:12,105

В очень вероятном случае моей смерти я,

Кенни МакКормик,

00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,575

завещаю все свое имущество

моим лучшим друзьям, Стэну и Кайлу.

00:10:16,105 --> 00:10:19,095

Чуваки, вы были самыми лучшими

друзьями, которые только могут быть.

00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:21,445

О...

00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,215

Как... трогательно.

00:10:23,725 --> 00:10:24,335

Лажа!

00:10:24,785 --> 00:10:26,015

Эрику Картману:

00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:28,325

Эрик, ты мне никогда не нравился.

00:10:28,485 --> 00:10:30,155

Впрочем, как и всем.

00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:34,965

Ты не умеешь чувствовать,

и скончаешься в одиночестве и горе.

00:10:35,155 --> 00:10:40,175

Только из-за того, что мне тебя так жалко,

я оставляю тебе мою Sony PSP.

00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:45,025

Ух ты! О да!

Ну, кто всех сделал? Кто всех сделал?

00:10:45,305 --> 00:10:49,105

И ещё, я бы хотел всех вас попросить

об одной вещи, по-дружески.

00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:55,885

Если я когда-нибудь окажусь в

вегетативном состоянии и буду лежать

на искусственном обеспечении, то, пожалуйста,...

00:10:59,595 --> 00:11:00,595

Пожауйста что?

00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,285

Не знаю. Я потерял последнюю страницу.

00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,025

Да какая разница? Кенни умер!

00:11:06,305 --> 00:11:07,955

Когда мне можно вступить во владение

моей PSP, сэр?

00:11:08,205 --> 00:11:10,535

Она здесь, вместе с другим

имуществом Кенни.

00:11:10,565 --> 00:11:11,645

Всё это ваше.

00:11:13,395 --> 00:11:14,195

Ура!

00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:15,825

Он жив!

00:11:16,115 --> 00:11:16,765

Чего?

00:11:16,815 --> 00:11:19,125

Кенни МакКормик! Там, в больнице, он жив!

00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:20,945

О, Боже!

00:11:33,465 --> 00:11:36,015

Ваше войско у Райских Врат, Господин.

00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:41,035

Не знаю, можно ли продолжать,

пока мы не узнали больше про

Киану Ривза, который появился у Бога.

00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,565

Сатана! Я принёс хорошие новости!

00:11:43,695 --> 00:11:46,205

Мальчика-Киану Ривза оживили на Земле!

00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:48,255

Его душа больше не на Небесах.

00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:51,745

Значит, Бог хранит нас!

00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:55,905

На Врата Рая, марш! Победа наша!

00:11:59,795 --> 00:12:00,435

Кенни??

00:12:01,265 --> 00:12:02,185

Кенни! Ты жив!

00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:03,345

Чувак, как ты?

00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:06,035

Он не может вам ответить, мальчики.

00:12:06,635 --> 00:12:08,885

Из-за того, что он так долго был мёртвым,

его мозг повредился.

00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:10,995

Ну... тогда он НЕ жив.

00:12:11,115 --> 00:12:13,835

Он жив. Он улыбается,

когда я с ним разговариваю.

00:12:13,915 --> 00:12:14,895

Мне так кажется...

00:12:15,165 --> 00:12:18,165

Это не Кенни. У Кенни срывает

крышу от запаха денег!

00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,025

Вот, смотрите.

00:12:19,175 --> 00:12:21,095

Кенни, смотри, Кенни. Хочешь доллар?

00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:25,215

Я не знаю, правильно ли это -

поддерживать жизнь Кенни под этим аппаратом.

00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,615

Я просто... просто не знаю, чего бы хотел он сам.

00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:29,565

Ага, адвокат потерял ту страницу.

00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:30,875

Ой, я только что вспомнил!

00:12:31,005 --> 00:12:32,185

Однажды Кенни говорил мне, что он не хотел бы,

00:12:32,355 --> 00:12:34,525

чтобы его жизнь поддерживали

с помощью системы искусственного питания.

00:12:34,665 --> 00:12:35,465

Говорил? Когда?

00:12:35,525 --> 00:12:37,775

Э, ну это было, мм, однажды...

00:12:38,585 --> 00:12:40,025

Не говорил он такого!

00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:42,165

Ты просто хочешь свести его в могилу,

чтобы присвоить глупую PSP!

00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:45,255

Глупую? PSP глупая?!

Все это слышали??

00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:48,165

Ээ, я хочу сказать, что дело не в PSP, Кайл!

00:12:48,315 --> 00:12:50,125

Дело в моём друге и в его желаниях.

00:12:50,285 --> 00:12:51,835

А он говорил, что не хотел так жить!

00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:52,605

Не говорил!

00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,115

Говорил!

00:12:53,135 --> 00:12:53,585

Нет!

00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:55,845

Отлично! Вот увидишь, долбаный еврей!

00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:57,455

Я добьюсь, чтобы эту трубку

искусственного питания отсоединили,

00:12:57,705 --> 00:12:59,475

даже если мне придётся дойти

до Верховного суда!

00:13:03,895 --> 00:13:05,975

Войско Сатаны уже в Лимбе!

00:13:06,125 --> 00:13:07,705

Значит, скоро они будут здесь.

00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:11,115

Кроме души Кенни использовать

священную PSP некому.

00:13:11,135 --> 00:13:13,645

Нет! Есть ещё один.

00:13:13,905 --> 00:13:16,935

Один японский мальчик дошёл

до пятьдесят девятого уровня.

00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:22,145

Ты дурак, Уриэль? У японцев нет души!

00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:22,925

Да

00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:23,275

Да

00:13:23,315 --> 00:13:23,565

Да

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:24,435

Да, Уриэль!

00:13:24,675 --> 00:13:26,095

Ладно, ладно, ошибся.

00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:29,165

Кенни - единственная наша надежда!

Вот что мы сделаем.

00:13:29,465 --> 00:13:33,125

Гавриил и Уриэль, спуститесь на Землю

и попробуйте отсоединить эту трубку.

00:13:33,225 --> 00:13:34,645

Мы тем временем

00:13:34,685 --> 00:13:36,895

стянем все силы к Райским Вратам.

00:13:37,065 --> 00:13:40,495

Попробуем продержаться как можно дольше.

00:13:41,565 --> 00:13:45,415

Будем надеяться, достаточно

долго для того, чтобы вернуть

нашего Киану Ривза.

00:13:47,555 --> 00:13:51,395

Видите ли, ваша честь, я был

единственным, кому Кенни МакКормик

рассказал о своём желании.

00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:55,535

А Кенни специально упоминал,

что он не хотел бы, чтобы его жизнь

искусственно поддерживали.

00:13:55,905 --> 00:13:57,965

То что они с ним делают... это неправильно.

00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:02,075

Извините, молодой человек, но родители хотят,

чтобы их ребёнок жил.

00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:04,785

Думаю, у вас нет никаких

юридических оснований.

00:14:04,855 --> 00:14:06,385

У меня есть юридические основания,

ваша честь.

00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:09,735

Видите ли, я был Кенниным ЛД.

00:14:12,545 --> 00:14:14,105

Лучшим другом?

00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:15,055

Правильно.

00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,315

Мы с Кенни ЛД с первого класса.

00:14:17,335 --> 00:14:18,515

Вот, смотрите.

00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:20,985

У Кенни другая половина этого

ЛД-медальона.

00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:24,375

Думаю, вы все знаете, что это означает,

и насколько это серьёзно.

00:14:25,955 --> 00:14:28,775

Смотри, Кенни, твои друзья снова

пришли навестить тебя.

00:14:29,545 --> 00:14:31,325

Но так же нельзя.

00:14:31,485 --> 00:14:32,995

Что случилось, доктор?

00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:36,295

Боюсь, что у меня решение суда, по

которому мы должны отсоединить

эту трубку с питанием.

00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:37,455

Что?

00:14:37,815 --> 00:14:38,405

Вот он.

00:14:38,525 --> 00:14:39,375

Картман!

00:14:40,355 --> 00:14:43,785

Кеннин ЛД утверждает,

что Кенни не хотел, чтобы его

жизнь искусственно поддерживали.

00:14:43,885 --> 00:14:46,275

Суд решил, что мы должны уважать его желание.

00:14:46,715 --> 00:14:48,305

Картман не ЛД Кенни!

00:14:48,735 --> 00:14:49,875

Сэр, взгляните на это.

00:14:53,555 --> 00:14:55,135

Нам не нужны другие доказательства.

00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:56,805

Отсоедините трубку, доктор.

00:14:57,185 --> 00:14:58,405

Нет, доктор!

Вы не можете так поступить!

00:14:58,685 --> 00:15:00,145

Извините. У меня нет выбора.

00:15:06,045 --> 00:15:06,845

Вот больница.

00:15:07,145 --> 00:15:08,465

Бесполезно, Гавриил.

00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:11,955

Как мы можем отсоединить трубку,

если мы даже потрогать на

Земле ничего не можем?

00:15:13,025 --> 00:15:14,885

Долбаный ублюдок!

00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,755

После того как Картман

отсоединил трубку, Кенни точно умрёт!

00:15:18,215 --> 00:15:19,605

Трубку отсоединили?

00:15:19,825 --> 00:15:21,755

Как можно позволить восьмилетнему

решать судьбу Кенни?

00:15:22,195 --> 00:15:24,565

По-видимому, какой-то благословенный

ребёнок сделал за нас нашу работу.

00:15:24,805 --> 00:15:29,075

Хорошо. Остаётся только молиться,

чтобы никто не вмешался в смерть

этого ребёнка ещё раз.

00:15:29,325 --> 00:15:32,305

Чувак, мы должны сделать всё

возможное, чтобы снова подсоединить эту трубку.

00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:32,935

Да!

00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:33,665

Нет!

00:15:34,005 --> 00:15:35,305

Давай обратимся к СМИ.

00:15:35,485 --> 00:15:37,575

Пусть вся страна услышит, что они убивают Кенни.

00:15:37,835 --> 00:15:38,695

Да, давай!

00:15:38,975 --> 00:15:41,775

Нет! Нет, нет, мальчики!

А, ччёрт!

00:15:44,474 --> 00:15:45,874

Новости Эйч-Би-Си.

00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:50,892

Дело о праве-на-смерть развивается в Колорадо,

00:15:51,052 --> 00:15:54,732

где Кенни МакКормика отключил

от системы питания его ЛД.

00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:59,602

Два мальчика привлекают внимание

нации к этой истории протестами у больницы.

00:16:01,032 --> 00:16:01,872

Не убивайте Кенни!

00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:03,412

Сволочи!

00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:04,662

Не убивайте Кенни!

00:16:05,012 --> 00:16:06,192

Сволочи!

00:16:06,502 --> 00:16:08,992

Нет! Нет же, они не убивают его,

они позволяют ему умереть!

00:16:09,222 --> 00:16:13,212

Не позволим бюрократам играть

в Бога и отсоединять трубку!

00:16:13,562 --> 00:16:16,482

Нет-нет, они играли в Бога, когда

они эту трубку подсоединяли!

00:16:17,112 --> 00:16:19,422

Женщина была арестована при

попытке пронести пациенту еду.

00:16:20,232 --> 00:16:21,982

Уберите от меня свои мужицкие лапы!

00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:27,422

Тем не менее, всё больше людей

становится и на сторону Кенниного ЛД,

Эрика Картмана.

00:16:27,772 --> 00:16:31,032

Мы должны уважать желания ЛД.

00:16:31,412 --> 00:16:34,582

Иначе наши ЛД-медальоны потеряют смысл.

00:16:34,982 --> 00:16:39,882

У всех нас есть ЛД, и мы считаем,

что ЛД - это высшая юридическая сила.

00:16:40,152 --> 00:16:42,132

Правильно. Уважайте нашу власть.

00:16:43,372 --> 00:16:45,232

Они что, издеваются?!

00:16:45,732 --> 00:16:46,352

Господин...

00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,182

Трубку отсоединили!

00:16:48,672 --> 00:16:52,652

Если ребёнок умрёт и его душа

вернётся в Рай, у Бога будет

свой Киану Ривз!

00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,322

Может быть, он не успеет умереть.

00:16:55,762 --> 00:16:57,492

Брось! Я отзываю атаку!

00:16:57,802 --> 00:17:01,032

Нет! Продолжайте наступление, Господин.

00:17:01,612 --> 00:17:03,632

Я подсоединю трубку обратно.

00:17:04,802 --> 00:17:05,412

Как?

00:17:06,032 --> 00:17:09,252

Как обычно: использую республиканцев.

00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:16,282

Все мы, республиканцы, глубоко

опечалены трагическими событиями в Колорадо.

00:17:19,282 --> 00:17:22,162

Отключение системы питания - это убийство,

хы-хы-хы-хы...

00:17:22,632 --> 00:17:24,582

Отключение системы питания - это убийство!

00:17:24,992 --> 00:17:27,682

Кто позволил нам решать вопрос

о жизни и смерти Кенни?

00:17:28,102 --> 00:17:31,022

Кто позволил нам решать

вопрос о жизни Кенни?

00:17:31,692 --> 00:17:33,302

Бог пожелал, чтобы он жил!

00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:35,712

Бог пожелал, чтобы он ЖИЛ!

00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:39,392

Хы-хы-хы-хы-хы...

00:17:39,512 --> 00:17:41,372

Нет-нет, не надо это говорить

00:17:42,052 --> 00:17:45,282

Нет-нет, не надо это говорить,

хы-хы-хы-хы-хы...

00:17:56,062 --> 00:17:58,292

Иисусе, их войско огромно.

00:17:58,962 --> 00:17:59,932

Да помогут нам Небеса.

00:18:01,212 --> 00:18:03,742

Величайшая битва всех времён

вот-вот начнётся:

00:18:03,802 --> 00:18:05,692

битва за питающую трубку!

00:18:06,012 --> 00:18:09,022

Участники с обеих сторон

аргументируют свою позицию.

00:18:11,292 --> 00:18:14,802

Мы хотим, чтобы вся страна увидела,

что Кенни жив, и что ему больно!

00:18:14,882 --> 00:18:17,752

Я считаю, что люди видят,

что ему НЕ больно, потому что он - растение!

00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,662

По-твоему - растение, а по-моему - Кенни!

00:18:19,672 --> 00:18:21,322

По-твоему - Кенни, а по-моему - растение!

00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:23,022

Растение!

00:18:23,062 --> 00:18:24,172

Кенни! Кенни!

00:18:24,212 --> 00:18:25,262

Растение!

00:18:25,682 --> 00:18:30,092

Простите!

Я только что нашёл последнюю

страницу завещания Кенни.

00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:32,812

Что?

00:18:33,372 --> 00:18:36,992

Я нашёл страницу, в которой

Кенни указывает своё желание

касательно искусственного жизнеобеспечения.

00:18:37,462 --> 00:18:38,992

Ну, и что там написано?

00:18:40,122 --> 00:18:46,352

Если я когда-нибудь окажусь

в вегетативном состоянии и буду лежать

на искусственном обеспечении, то, пожалуйста,...

00:18:48,422 --> 00:18:53,642

ради всего святого, не показывайте

меня в этом состоянии

по национальному телевидению.

00:18:56,962 --> 00:18:58,622

У-у-у..

00:18:59,282 --> 00:19:00,422

Ууупс.

00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:05,912

О, Боже. Может быть, стоит оставить всё как есть.

00:19:06,132 --> 00:19:10,262

Всё так сложно, что... может быть,

нужно просто позволить Кенни умереть.

00:19:10,662 --> 00:19:12,322

Ты хочешь сказать, что сторона Картмана права?

00:19:12,792 --> 00:19:15,182

Сторона Картмана оказалась права,

преследуя ошибочные цели.

00:19:15,182 --> 00:19:18,222

А мы оказались неправы,

руководствуясь благими намерениями.

00:19:18,432 --> 00:19:19,422

Точно.

00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,912

Идёмте.

Я думаю, Кенни хочет, чтобы его оставили в покое.

00:19:28,422 --> 00:19:32,002

Мы только что получили сообщение о том,

что Кенни МакКормик... скончался.

00:19:32,352 --> 00:19:36,352

Споры в Америке до сих пор ещё не утихли,

но, по крайней мере, Кенни сейчас

00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,602

в более спокойном месте.

00:19:40,332 --> 00:19:41,772

Войско Сатаны прорвалось сквозь ворота!

00:19:42,162 --> 00:19:43,622

Мы умрём!!!

00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:45,732

Отряды, к бою!

00:19:45,942 --> 00:19:47,172

Командовать буду я, как смогу!

00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:51,302

Михаил! Михаил!

Люди наконец-то сделали правильную вещь!

00:19:51,702 --> 00:19:53,552

О Боже мой, они убили Кенни!

00:19:53,762 --> 00:19:55,312

На командный пункт его, быстро!

00:19:55,812 --> 00:19:58,452

Войско Сатаны нападает!

Направляй наши отряды Кенни!

00:20:00,192 --> 00:20:01,482

Началось.

00:20:01,772 --> 00:20:06,112

Разворачивается последняя

битва между Раем и Адом!

00:20:12,042 --> 00:20:13,272

ДА, молодец, Кенни!

00:20:13,272 --> 00:20:15,962

Ангелы-копьеносцы уничтожают

демонических душегубов!

00:20:17,492 --> 00:20:20,152

О, ангельская конница сталкивается

с Чёрными Рыцарями!

00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:23,662

О, Боже! Боже, это же эпическая битва!

00:20:24,952 --> 00:20:26,952

Ооо, они вводят демонических драконов!

00:20:26,952 --> 00:20:28,442

Какие здоровенные!

00:20:31,072 --> 00:20:34,672

Господи, это даже масштабней чем

последняя битва во "Властелине Колец"!

00:20:34,922 --> 00:20:37,422

Это, это В ДЕСЯТЬ раз масштабней!

00:20:39,142 --> 00:20:42,032

Нет! НЕТ! Почему мы проигрываем?

00:20:42,312 --> 00:20:45,312

Душа ребёнка в раю! Это секретное оружие Бога!

00:20:45,402 --> 00:20:46,712

Отступаем!

00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,302

Потерпите, Господин!

00:20:48,792 --> 00:20:51,142

Нет, Кевин!

Хватит! Между нами всё кончено!

00:20:54,352 --> 00:20:57,312

Ура! Да, Кенни! Сатана отступает!

00:20:57,672 --> 00:20:59,612

На это стоит посмотреть!

00:20:59,772 --> 00:21:01,072

О, ну почему у меня нет видеокамеры!

00:21:03,822 --> 00:21:04,672

Ура, мы победили!

00:21:04,842 --> 00:21:07,022

Мы победили войско Сатаны!

00:21:11,742 --> 00:21:15,282

Кенни! Да благословит тебя Бог!

Ты спас Небеса!

00:21:15,592 --> 00:21:21,762

Кенни!

Мы хотим сделать тебе особенный

подарок за всё то, что ты сделал.

00:21:22,022 --> 00:21:25,972

За спасение всей Вселенной от

сил зла мы дарим тебе это...

00:21:28,532 --> 00:21:30,582

Статую Киану Ривза.

00:21:31,482 --> 00:21:32,932

Поздравляем.

00:21:35,842 --> 00:21:37,352

Замечания (и благодарности ;)) по

переводу и синхронизации слать на

vlish@gorodok.net и hellios@gorodok.net

00:21:37,532 --> 00:21:40,902

Все русские субтитры к Саут-Парку

на http://sp.gorodok.net

00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,056

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,853

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,563

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,440

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,443

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,325

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,999

Mom! Mom, get up!

We have to go!

00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,000

Mom, get up!

00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,127

Oh, poopykins, it's very early.

00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,503

Mom, I told you --

00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:47,506

The new Sony PSP game machine

goes on sale at 7:00 a.m. today.

00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,050

I have to be the first

to get one.

00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:50,134

Come on!

00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,011

Sweetie, can't we go

after school?

00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,929

Everyone's moms are taking

their kids after school.

00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,181

We're outsmarting everyone

00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:56,599

by getting to the store

right when it opens.

00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,516

Let's go!

00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,811

I can't wait to see

the look on everyone's faces

00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,396

when I show up to school

with a PSP.

00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,731

I wonder if Kyle will cry.

00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,067

Oh, please, let Kyle cry.

00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,613

What the hell?!

00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,828

Kenny, when did you get here?

00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:18,704

Mrph rm.

00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,499

Friday?!

Aw, Jesus!

00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:23,709

I'll just...

sort of get in -- in here.

00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,753

Hey, dickhole,

what do you think you're doing?

00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,755

Uh, my friend Kenny was saving

my place in line.

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,757

There's no saving places,

fourthie.

00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,926

Get to the back

or we'll beat your face in.

00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:33,886

Oh, God damn it!

00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,433

They'd better not sell out.

00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,940

That thing is pretty cool.

What games did you get with it?

00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,691

It's a game called

Heaven vs. Hell.

00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:48,984

Kenny commands the armies

of heaven

00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,986

against the forces of Satan.

00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,448

Dude, you see what Kenny got?

00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,575

Yes, yes! I know!

Up yours, Kyle!

00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,910

W-What'd I do?

00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,870

Just shut your Jew mouth!

00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,541

MAN: Congratulations!

You have reached level 9.

00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,167

Wow!

Level 9 already?

00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,044

Dude, you kick ass

at Heaven vs. Hell.

00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,296

Yeah, Kenny finally found

something he's really good at.

00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:12,299

[ Up-tempo funk music plays ]

00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,563

[ Music continues ]

00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,201

Kenny?

00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,787

Kenny, are you still playing

with that thing?

00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,540

Kenny, it's been two weeks,

and you've done nothing else.

00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,833

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,335

Who cares if you almost made it

to level 60?!

00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,337

You're wasting your life, Kenny!

00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:53,090

If you died tomorrow, what would

you have to show for it?

00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,384

You're gonna end up wishing

you'd done more with your life,

00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,636

just like your deadbeat father!

00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,013

KENNY'S DAD:

Hey, I heard that, bitch!

00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,806

I wasn't talking to you,

asshole!

00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,808

How about I come in there

and kick your teeth in?!

00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:03,976

I'd like to see you try!

00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,604

KENNY'S DAD: You have to smart

off to me in my own house?!

00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:09,064

KENNY'S MOM: It's my house, too,

you no-good loser!

00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,525

MAN:

You have reached level 60!

00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,526

Mrph!

00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,153

Mrph rm!

Mrph rmhmhm!

00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,321

Mrph rmhmhm --

00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:21,410

Oh, yeah!

Level 4! Sweet!

00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,621

[ Birds chirping ]

00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,250

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,543

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,212

Mrph rm!

Mrph rm!

00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:33,547

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,466

Mrph rm!

00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:38,093

[ Woman vocalizing ]

00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,480

MAN:

Open the gate!

00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,607

MAN:

Open the gate!

00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,611

[ Bells chime ]

00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,367

Welcome to the kingdom

of heaven, Kenny.

00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:03,452

I am Peter.

00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,413

Mrph rmh mrph rmphm?

00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,082

There isn't much time, Kenny.

00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:11,168

You are dead,

but your death was no accident.

00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,003

Heaven needs you.

00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:14,797

Mrph?

00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,424

Come.

There's much to discuss.

00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:22,096

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,853

Things are not good in heaven,

Kenny.

00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,772

Satan is planning

a massive attack,

00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,275

and he knows we are too few

in number to stop him.

00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,068

God has changed the rules here.

00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,445

For ages, only Mormons

were allowed into heaven.

00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,530

- Hey!

- Hi there!

00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,198

- Hello!

- Oh, hi!

00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,242

But knowing that hell

was becoming much larger,

00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,077

God decided to let

more people cross over

00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,912

so that he could build

an army as well --

00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,707

an army that you must command.

00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,125

Mrph rm?!

00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:55,296

The Sony PSP was built by God

to determine who on earth

00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,965

had the best skills to defeat

the armies of Satan.

00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,758

You are the best.

00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:03,262

You are the only hope

for the universe.

00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:07,141

Satan's army grows as we speak.

00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:10,227

The dark lord knows that

our armies are few in number

00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:15,357

and unorganized, so our only

hope is perfect strategy.

00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,610

A child?

This is God's solution?

00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:21,947

He beat Satan's army in over

3,000 separate simulations.

00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,658

Archangel Michael, what say you?

00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:27,786

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,122

The child did something

none of us could --

00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,291

reach level 60 on the PSP.

00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:34,293

I don't know if that's luck

or perseverance,

00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,086

but it's goddamned impressive.

00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,631

All right, Kenny, let me show

you what we're up against.

00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:43,385

This is the kingdom of heaven.

00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,388

Satan's army will attack

the gates here.

00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,308

They are 10 billion in number,

maybe more.

00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,809

[ Sniffs ]

00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:54,521

Our armies are here, here,

and here --

00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,191

just under 10,000 strong.

00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,109

[ Sniffs ]

00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,403

We are outnumbered

and in need of someone

00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,907

who can single-handedly bring

the whole dark empire down.

00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:09,453

Basically, Kenny,

you are Keanu Reeves.

00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,041

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:29,973

My fellow damned souls,

now is the time for our assault.

00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:31,016

[ Roaring ]

00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,643

You know no fear!

00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:36,105

You will drink the blood

of angels!

00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,358

We go now!

Nothing can stop us!

00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,736

Move aside!

Step aside, I say!

00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:45,447

Satan, God has mocked Thee

once again.

00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,324

My spy.

00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,785

God has found a way

to defeat your army.

00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,245

Impossible. How?

00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,454

A young man.

00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:56,208

Basically, he --

he's like Keanu Reeves.

00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,877

Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,839

My lord.

My lord, we must attack now.

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,633

What's the point?

They have a Keanu Reeves now.

00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,511

Do not fear, my lord.

Your army is great.

00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,929

Very well.

00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,266

Demon army,

begin your march on heaven.

00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:15,227

[ Roaring ]

00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,355

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,191

MICHAEL: Up here you get

the best tactical view

00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:22,484

to protect the fortress.

00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,610

It is from here, Kenny,

00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,654

that you shall command

the armies of heaven.

00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,948

Mrph?

Mrph rmh rmphm?

00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:28,866

Simple.

00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,993

You will use...this.

00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:34,413

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,876

This golden PSP

is king of all PSPs.

00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,128

ALL:

Hail the Holy PSP.

00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,422

It works just like the ones

we sent to earth.

00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:44,798

All the commands you make

00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,259

will be sent to the troops

down on the battlefield.

00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,386

All you have to do

is play the game, Kenny.

00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,890

Only this time, it's for reals.

00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,267

Gabriel returns with news.

00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,103

Hell's army is departing.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,147

They head now

for the gates of heaven.

00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,983

Prepare the troops!

We must be ready for them!

00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,109

The time is at hand, Kenny.

00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,694

The stage is set,

and the final battle

00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,488

between heaven and hell

is about to begin!

00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,157

The fate of the outcome

is in your hands.

00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,535

Where'd he go?

00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,536

[ Monitor beeping ]

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,705

Doctor!

Doctor, we have a pulse!

00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,082

Then that's it!

We've brought him back.

00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,542

Amazing, Doctor.

00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,877

You've revived somebody

00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,254

who's been legally dead

for almost a day.

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,589

Call the parents.

00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:30,677

They're going to be shocked

to find out their son is alive.

00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,724

It's the latest

in electroplastilical science.

00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,227

Your son's organs

are all functioning again.

00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,229

It's a miracle.

00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,939

Kenny, you're alive.

00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,941

I'm afraid he can't respond

to you.

00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,692

You see,

being dead for that long,

00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,570

most of Kenny's brain cells died

from lack of oxygen.

00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,738

Your son is alive

00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,534

but in what we call

a persistive vegetative state.

00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,035

Will he ever recover?

00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,328

I'm afraid no.

00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,664

Brain cells cannot be repaired

once dead.

00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,208

But his soul is still in here.

00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,877

Almost trapped in here,

if you will.

00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,004

Kenny is the same

as he ever was.

00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:10,217

It's just that now

he's more like...a tomato.

00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,095

He can't move on his own?

How will he eat?

00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,513

A feeding tube.

00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:17,266

It pumps a nutrient paste

directly into Kenny's stomach.

00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,685

With it we can actually keep

Kenny the tomato

00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,228

alive for years.

00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,898

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,276

A feeding tube?

00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,862

Yes. Apparently they're using

machines to keep him alive.

00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,073

But that's not natural!

00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:36,201

God intended Kenny to die!

What are these people doing?!

00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:40,080

The child's soul is now trapped

inside his vegetative body.

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,833

We have no one to command

the troops with the PSP.

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:45,085

And Satan's armies

are approaching.

00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,297

Oh, God damn it.

00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:54,469

Boys, I want to thank you

for coming down to my office

00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,221

on such short notice.

00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,558

Are we in trouble or something?

00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,560

No.

Boys, I'm a lawyer.

00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,270

Your friend Kenny passed away,

00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,647

and I've called you here

to read his will.

00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:06,857

Kenny had a will?

00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:07,983

[ Clears throat ]

00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,110

"In the highly likely event

of my death,

00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,904

I, Kenny McCormick,

wish to leave all my belongings

00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,490

to my good friends Stan

and Kyle.

00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:19,077

Dudes, you were the best friends

a guy could have."

00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:20,746

Oh, wow.

00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,956

That's...really touching.

00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,166

Fags.

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,128

"To Eric Cartman --

Eric, I never really liked you.

00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,838

But, then, nobody does.

00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,923

You have no ability to feel,

00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:34,635

and you are going to die alone

and miserable.

00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,387

It is only because I feel

so sorry for you

00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,848

that I leave you my Sony PSP."

00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,601

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, baby!

00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,770

Who's the man?!

Who's the man?!

00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,439

"There is one more thing

I would like to ask you all

00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,940

as my friends.

00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,777

If I should ever be

in a vegetative state

00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:55,781

and kept alive on life support,

please..."

00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,327

Please what?

00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,247

I don't know.

I lost the last page.

00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,749

Who cares?!

Kenny's dead!

00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,793

When do I take possession

of my PSP, sir?

00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,087

It's right here, along with

Kenny's other belongings.

00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,380

They're all yours.

00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,466

Yes.

00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,301

- He's alive!

- What?

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,554

Kenny McCormick!

He's alive at the hospital!

00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,014

Oh, my God!

00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:27,604

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,779

Your army nears

the kingdom of heaven, my lord.

00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,572

I don't know

if we should continue

00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,742

without knowing more

about this Keanu Reeves God has.

00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,286

Satan, I come bearing good news.

00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:46,164

The Keanu Reeves boy

has been revived on earth.

00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,291

His soul is no longer in heaven.

00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,712

Then God is helpless.

00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,672

Full march

to the gates of heaven!

00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,466

Victory is ours!

00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,095

Kenny?

00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,722

Kenny, you're alive!

00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,890

Dude, how'd you do that?

00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,976

He can't respond to you, boys.

00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,729

Being dead for that long caused

severe damage to his brain.

00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,814

Well --

Well, then he's not alive.

00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,608

He's alive.

He smiled when I talked to him.

00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:14,901

I think.

00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,069

That's not Kenny!

00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,280

Kenny sniffs paint and sets

things on fire. Here. Look.

00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,575

Kenny? Kenny, look.

You want a dollar?

00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,951

I don't know if it's right

00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,870

to keep Kenny alive

on that machine.

00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,414

I-I just -- I don't know

what he would want.

00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,207

Yeah.

The lawyer lost that page.

00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,333

Oh, I just remembered!

00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,877

Kenny told me this one time

00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,337

that he wouldn't want to be

kept alive by a feeding tube.

00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:35,380

He did?

When?

00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:38,091

Um, it was, um, this one time.

00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,593

He did not say that.

00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,012

You just want him dead

so you can have his stupid PSP!

00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,930

Stupid?

PSP is stupid?!

00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,182

Did you all hear that?!

00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,684

I mean -- I mean

this isn't about PSP, Kyle.

00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,728

This is about my friend

and his wishes.

00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,521

And Kenny said he didn't want to

live like this.

00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:52,689

- He did not!

- Did so!

00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:53,774

- Did not!

- Fine!

00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,358

We'll see about this,

you frickin' Jew!

00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,110

I'm gonna get that

feeding tube removed

00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,696

if I have to go all the way

to the Supreme Court!

00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,907

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,619

Satan's army has crossed over

the plains of limbo.

00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,204

Then they will be here

on the morrow.

00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,413

Without Kenny's soul here,

00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,749

there will be nobody

who can use the Holy PSP.

00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,543

No!

There is another.

00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,755

A Japanese boy did make it

to level 59.

00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,883

Are you stupid, Uriel?

00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,093

Japanese people

don't have souls.

00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:22,928

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,387

- Yeah!

- Yeah, Uriel.

00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,972

Oh, right, right.

I'm sorry.

00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:29,184

Kenny remains our only hope.

Here is what we must do.

00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,061

Gabriel and Uriel,

you go down to earth

00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,646

and try to get

that feeding tube removed.

00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,564

In the meantime...

[ Sniffs ]

00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,483

...we will put all our troops

at heaven's gate.

00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,735

We will try to keep hell's army

from breaking through

00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:39,861

as long as possible.

00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,029

[ Sniffs ]

00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,864

Hopefully,

it will be long enough

00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,867

to get our Keanu Reeves back.

00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,035

[ Birds chirping ]

00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,162

You see, Your Honors,

I was the only one

00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,331

that Kenny McCormick

told his wishes to.

00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,749

And Kenny told me specifically

00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,418

that he would never want to be

kept alive on machines.

00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:58,004

What they are doing to him

is not right.

00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,923

Well, I'm sorry, young man,

00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,925

but the parents want

their child kept alive.

00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,177

I don't believe you have

any legal authority here.

00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,137

I do have legal authority,

Your Honor.

00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:10,600

You see, I was Kenny's BFF.

00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,435

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,104

Best friends forever?

00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:14,980

That's right.

00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,731

Kenny and I have been BFFs

since first grade.

00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,233

Here. Look.

00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,694

Kenny has the other half

of this BFF necklace.

00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,571

I believe you all know

what that means

00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,948

and how serious this is.

00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:29,202

Look, Kenny. Your friends

are here to visit you again.

00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,079

But this just doesn't

seem right.

00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,706

W-What's the matter, Doctor?

00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,541

I'm afraid I've been given

a court order

00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,126

to remove Kenny's feeding tube.

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,002

What?

00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,295

He's right in here.

00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,212

Cartman!

00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,006

Kenny's BFF says

00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,466

that Kenny didn't want to be

kept alive artificially.

00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:46,177

The courts have determined

we must obey his wish.

00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,430

Cartman is not Kenny's BFF!

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,223

Sir, take a look at this.

00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,517

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,895

That's all the verification

we need.

00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,479

Pull the feeding tube, Doctor.

00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,814

No, Doctor, you can't!

00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:00,483

I'm sorry.

I have no choice.

00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,781

GABRIEL:

Here is the hospital.

00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:07,991

This is hopeless, Gabriel.

00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,701

We cannot interact

with anything on earth.

00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,703

How can we possibly get

a feeding tube removed?

00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:14,456

That dirty, evil,

no-good son of a bitch!

00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,333

Now that Cartman

got Kenny's feeding tube out,

00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,834

he's gonna die for sure.

00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,336

The tube has been removed?

00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,713

How can they let an 8-year-old

decide Kenny's fate?

00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:24,132

Apparently some blessed child

has done our work for us.

00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,258

Good.

00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,177

Now all we must do is pray

nobody interferes

00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,845

with the child's death

a second time.

00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,305

Dude, we have to do

whatever we can

00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,848

to get that feeding tube

put back in.

00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,308

- Yeah.

- No!

00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,893

Let's go to the, uh, media.

00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,311

We'll make everyone

in the country know

00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,312

they're killing Kenny.

00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,355

Yeah! Come on!

00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,023

No. No.

No! Boys!

00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,983

Aw, God damn it!

00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,695

MAN:

This is HBC news.

00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,489

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,492

A right-to-die debate

is heating up in Colorado,

00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,118

where Kenny McCormick's

feeding tube

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,496

has been removed by his BFF.

00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,998

Two boys are bringing

national attention to the story

00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,417

by protesting outside

the hospital.

00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:01,753

Don't kill Kenny!

00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:02,963

ALL:

You bastards!

00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,506

Don't kill Kenny!

00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,757

ALL:

You bastards!

00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,384

No!

No, they're not killing him.

00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,635

They're letting him die!

00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,304

You bureaucrats have no right

to play God

00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,847

and take that tube out!

00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,516

No, no.

See, they were playing God

00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,267

when they put

the feeding tube in.

00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:19,145

A woman was arrested for trying

to bring food to the patient.

00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,940

Get your man hands off of me!

00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,817

However,

a growing number of people

00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:27,237

are also standing behind

Kenny's BFF, Eric Cartman.

00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,532

We must respect the wishes

of people's BFFs.

00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,536

Otherwise, all our BFF necklaces

would become meaningless.

00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,204

We all have BFFs,

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and we believe a BFF

is the highest legal authority.

00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:42,460

That's right.

Respect our authoritah.

00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:45,046

What mockery is this?!

00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,464

My lord?

00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,008

The feeding tube

has been pulled.

00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,260

If the child dies

and his soul returns to heaven,

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God will have his Keanu Reeves.

00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,348

Perhaps the child won't die

in time.

00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,100

Forget it!

I'm calling the attack off.

00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,101

No!

00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,729

Keep your army marching,

my lord.

00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:04,065

I will get that feeding tube

put back in.

00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,400

How?

00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,320

I will do what we always do --

use the Republicans.

00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,742

We Republicans

are deeply saddened

00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,952

by the tragic events

in Colorado.

00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,038

[ Cheering ]

00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,708

Removing the feeding tube

is murder. [ Hisses ]

00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,419

Removing the feeding tube

is murder.

00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,422

Who are we to decide

that Kenny should live or die?

00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,842

Who are we to decide

that Kenny should live or die?

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It is God's will that he live.

[ Hisses ]

00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,513

It is God's will that he live!

00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,098

[ Hisses ]

00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,142

[ Imitates hissing ]

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No, no.

You don't say that part.

00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:41,644

[ Hisses ]

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No, no.

You don't say that part.

00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,148

[ Imitates hissing ]

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Jesus.

Their army is massive.

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Heaven help us.

00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,458

The biggest battle of all time

is about to begin --

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the battle

of the feeding tube --

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as people on both sides

of the argument

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vie for media attention.

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[ Indistinct shouting ]

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We want all the country to see

that Kenny is alive and in pain.

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I believe the people at home

can see he's not in pain

00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:17,472

because he's a tomato.

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You say tomato, but I say Kenny!

00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,184

You say Kenny, but I say tomato!

00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,769

- Tomato!

- Kenny!

00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,021

- Kenny!

- Tomato!

00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,356

Uh, excuse me.

00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,651

I, uh, just found the last page

of Kenny's will.

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[ Monitor beeping ]

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What?

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I found the page where

Kenny specified his wishes

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about being on life support.

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Well, what does it say?

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[ Clears throat ]

"If I should ever be

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in a vegetative state

and kept alive on life support,

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please...

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...for the love of God, don't

ever show me in that condition

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on national television."

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Ooh.

00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,223

Whoops.

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[ Down-tempo music plays ]

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Oh, geez.

00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,353

Maybe we let this thing

get out of hand.

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This issue is so complicated,

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but maybe we should

just let Kenny go in peace.

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You mean Cartman's side

is right?

00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,863

Cartman's side is right

for the wrong reasons,

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but we're wrong

for the right reasons.

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ALL:

Yeah.

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:19,951

Come on, everybody.

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,287

I think Kenny

wants to be left alone.

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[ Music continues ]

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We've just received word that

Kenny McCormick has passed away.

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The debate still rages on

in America,

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but at least now Kenny is in

a much more peaceful place.

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Satan's army has broken through

the gates!

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We're gonna die!

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Send all troops

to the battlefield.

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I will command as best I can.

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Michael!

Michael!

00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,149

The humans finally did

the right thing!

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Oh, my God.

They killed Kenny!

00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,903

Get him into

the command station! Hurry!

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Satan's army charges.

00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,156

Tell our troops

what to do, Kenny.

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[ Beeping ]

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So it begins.

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Now we shall see

the final battle

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between heaven and hell

play out.

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[ Beeping continues ]

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Yes!

Good, Kenny.

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The angel spearmen are taking

out their demon soulrippers.

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[ Indistinct shouting,

metal clashing ]

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Oh, the calvary angels

are clashing

00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,345

with their black knights.

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Oh, my God!

My God, this battle is epic!

00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,476

Oh, they're bringing in

their demon dragons.

00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,603

Look at the size of them!

00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,899

My God, this is even bigger

than the final battle

00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,359

in the "Lord of the Rings"

movie!

00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,153

It's like -- it's like 10 times

bigger than that battle.

00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,908

No! No!

How are we losing?

00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,078

The child's soul is in heaven!

God has his secret weapon!

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Full retreat!

00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:47,747

Patience, my lord.

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No, Kevin!

00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,292

That's it --

I'm breaking up with you!

00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,294

[ Hisses ]

00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,129

Yes.

Yes, Kenny!

00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,006

Satan's forces are retreating!

00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,133

This is truly a sight to behold.

00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,177

Oh, I wish I had a camcorder!

00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,514

We have done it!

00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:07,058

We have defeated

the armies of Satan!

00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:10,520

ALL:

Yay!

00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,106

Kenny, bless your soul!

00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,899

You've saved all of heaven!

00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,234

Yes, Kenny.

00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,152

And to thank you

for what you've done,

00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:21,364

we are going to give you

a very special gift.

00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,242

For saving the entire universe

from the forces of evil,

00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,911

we give you this...

00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:31,082

...Keanu Reeves statue.

00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,209

Congratulations.