Новая модная вагина мистера Гаррисона
Описание
Мистеру Гаррисону делают операцию по смене пола, и теперь он — миссис Гаррисон. Тем самым он невольно подсказывает Кайлу, как можно попасть в баскетбольную команду штата.
Субтитры
rus__vlish.srt
rus__vlish.srt
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Медицинский Центр Тринидада.
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Здравствуйте, мистер Гаррисон.
Меня зовут доктор Байбер. Я буду вас оперировать.
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Благослови вас Бог, доктор. Я знаю, вы мне поможете.
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Итак, вы абсолютно уверены в том,
что хотите сделать вагинопластику?
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Всю свою жизнь я был заперт в мужском теле. Операция по смене пола - мой последний шанс на счастье.
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Хорошо, в таком случае, начнём.
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Просто расслабьтесь, мистер Гаррисон. Я думаю, что если бы больше людей увидело операцию по смене пола, они бы поняли, как она естественна.
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Сначала я вскрою вам яйца.
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А, э-х-х. О-о.
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Теперь из открытой мошонки я могу извлечь ваши семенники.
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Прощайте, яйца.
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А теперь я просто продолжу надрез до ствола члена.
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Оно болит.
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А теперь просто... вывернем... член наизнанку.
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О! О, чёрт.
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А теперь нужно всего лишь ...затолкать освежеванный член в ваш... таз...
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А из кожи с члена сделаем половые губы.
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Я похож на женщину?
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Вполне.
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Отборочные соревнования штата по баскетболу. Сегодня!
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Чувак, не нервничай.
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Как я могу не нервничать? Я уже много лет мечтаю попасть в сборную штата.
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Ты лучший игрок в нашей школе. Тебя обязательно возьмут!
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Это просто смешно! Евреи не умеют играть в баскетбол.
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Я надеру твою толстую жопу, Картман!
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Все участники отборочных игр в сборную штата выходят на центральную площадку!
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Удачи!
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Хорошо, ребята, вы здесь потому, что вы - лучшие из лучших.
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Вы наверняка очень старались для того, чтобы попасть сюда, поэтому выходите и
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ПОКАЖИТЕ, ЧТО ВЫ УМЕЕТЕ!
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Э, э извините, Бро-Брофловски, правильно?
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Да?
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Можно тебя на минутку?
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Ты, э-э.. Ты лучший игрок в школе, так?
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Ага! Я люблю баскетбол. Когда-нибудь я бы хотел играть за Денвер Наггетс.
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Понятно. Э, послушай, мальчик, у тебя отличные способности и отличный настрой.
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Но ты просто физически.. не подходишь для игры.
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В смысле?
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Ну, просто...
В смысле?
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Ну, просто...
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Евреи не умеют играть в баскетбол.
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Давайте, ребята, работаем! Начали!
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Кайл, ты отлично смотрелся.
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Ты ведь сделал свой коронный бросок, так?
Это всё что ты мог сделать.
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Ня-ня-ня-ня-ня-няя!
Ты-ты-про-прои-гра-а-ал!
Хахахахахаха!
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Кайл, я издеваюсь над тобой в самый неподходящий момент.
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Я знаю. Я это заслужил.
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Да, а знаешь почему? Потому что евреи не умеют играть в баскетбол!
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Ты прав.
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Боже, это не смешно...
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Слушайте все, вы не поверите!
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Во что?
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Это мистер Гаррисон!
Только это НЕ мистер Гаррисон!
Он.. Он теперь женщина!
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Всем привет!
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Девчонки, вы можете в это поверить? Теперь я одна из ВАС!
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Вау, сколько тампонов!
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Обычные, супер-защита...
Чёрт, не могу дождаться, когда у меня начнутся первые месячные!
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Привет, девчонки!
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А вы знаете, какие там распродажи?
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Ну ладно, сейчас я буду в первый раз мочиться через влагалище.
Давайте обнимемся. Женская солидарность!
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Ну, ладно, приступим.
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Вау! Круто! Смотрите, я мочусь сидя, как изящная, величавая маленькая женщина.
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Девчонки, может быть, как-нибудь посмотрим вместе какой-нибудь печальный фильм?
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А вы пробовали эти новые тампоны с крылышками?
Как они, нормальные?
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Кайл, тебе нужно приободриться.
У тебя просто неподходящее для баскетбола телосложение.
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Но я чувствую себя баскетболистом.
Это единственное, что мне хочется делать.
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Привет, мальчики! Это я, ваша учительница! Миссис Гаррисон!
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Пацаны, у мистера Гаррисона есть сиськи.
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Я сделала операцию по смене пола.
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Мой член теперь стал вагиной, и я в первый раз в жизни ощущаю себя женщиной!
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Увидимся в школе!
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Мам? Пап? А что такое операция по смене пола?
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Что? Эм, ни-ничего. Я, я тебе объясню, когда подрастёшь.
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Но наш учитель, мистер Гаррисон, ему из члена сделали вагину. Как так?
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Члена!
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Ваш учитель сменил пол?? О, боже мой!
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Вагину!
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Ну, хватит! Я забираю вас из этой школы!
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Джеральд, как это недалёко!
Нельзя осуждать людей, которые хотят измениться.
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Он ведь учитель! И как же нам объяснить всё это нашим детям?!
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Очень просто.
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Знаешь, Кайл, иногда люди снаружи вовсе не такие же, как внутри.
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Да. Понятно.
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И они чувствуют себя так, как будто они заперты в чужом теле.
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И поэтому они могут сделать операцию
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которая поможет им стать теми, кем они себя видят.
Ты понимаешь?
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Полностью. Полностью понимаю.
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Вот видишь, Джеральд? Он полностью понимает.
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Итак, Вас интересует реконструктивная операция.
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Да. Мой учитель хотел стать женщиной, и вы сделали её из него.
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А, да, мистер Гаррисон.
Э, да, ему делали вагинопластику. Угум.
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Так вот, вы другие операции вроде этой делаете?
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Конечно. Иногда женщины хотят стать мужчинами.
Такая процедура называется пенипластикой.
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Нет-нет, э, я хочу быть высоким и чёрным.
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..Что?
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Терпеть не могу быть маленьким и евреистым.
Я ощущаю себя высоким чёрным человеком.
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О-о-о! Вам нужна негропластика!
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Да!
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Негропластика?
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Это вполне обычная процедура; попросту,
европластика наоборот, так же как у Майкла Джексона.
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Давайте посмотрим.
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Мы разрежем тебе лицо и отогнём кожу, чтобы поместить внутрь пигментные клетки.
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Для того чтобы удлинить руки, в нескольких
местах сломаем кости и сделаем там вставки.
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Так, колени мы вырвем и поместим туда
маленькие круглые предметы, чтобы улучшить походку.
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Ну и, наконец, сделаем аккуратную пенипластику, чтобы увеличить гениталии.
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Негропластика занимает около семи часов и стоит примерно три тысячи долларов.
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Э-э, извините, а это действительно разумно?
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Ну, это разумно, если вы хотите стать высоким и чернокожим.
Если же нет, то я бы этого не рекомендовал.
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Привет, мистер Мазохист.
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О боже, как я устала.
Женщина никогда не знает покоя.
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Я купила тампоны. Совсем скоро у меня начнутся месячные.
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Надеюсь, я не буду слишком нервной и не буду тебя доводить своим ПМС-ом.
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Мистер Мазохист, у меня есть кое-что и для нас.
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Хочешь эту красивую женщину в свою постель?
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Спасибо, нет.
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Сп-спасибо, нет?
Ну же, мистер Мазохист, я хочу обновить свою новую дырочку.
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Не могу поверить, что ты взял и сделал эту операцию, даже не спросив моего мнения.
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Я думала, ты поддержишь меня.
Я осталась той же, просто теперь у меня вагина вместо члена.
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Но я гей! Мне не нравятся вагины!
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Тебе наплевать на то что я страдала?
В том виде я была несчастна!
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То что ты себя чувствуешь лучше - это замечательно,
но нужно думать и о том, как будут чувствовать себя окружающие.
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Послушай, мы всё ещё можем быть вместе.
Всё что нужно - это чтобы ты перестал быть геем!
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Как ты можешь так говорить?! Ты же сам гей!
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Я не гей! Я женщина!
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Ах, так?!
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Ты вот так вот уходишь! Все вы, мужики, одинаковые!
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Иди, поищи себе кого-нибудь без вагины, пиндос!
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Мам! Пап! У меня отличные новости!
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Доктор, который менял пол мистеру Гаррисону, сказал,
что он может сделать меня высоким и чёрным.
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Что??
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Доктор Байбер сказал, что он может сделать мне негропластику,
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так что я наконец смогу стать тем, кем хотел.
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Он даже взял мою фотку и сделал на компьютере картинку того,
как я буду выглядеть после операции.
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Замечательно! Видишь, Шейла?!
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Вот до чего довела твоя транссексуальная прогрессивность!
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Теперь наш сын хочет поменять свою расу!
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Можно мне взять три тысячи долларов, а?? Можно??
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Никогда, Кайл!
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Но почему?
Ты же говорила, что людям иногда нужна операция, чтобы они казались себе лучше.
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Да, Кайл, но...
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Я всю жизнь ощущал себя чёрным!
Я слушал хип-хоп, я смотрю канал UPN и люблю баскетбол!
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Моё тело вовсе не такое же, какой я сам внутри.
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,790
Кайл, ты должен смириться с тем телом, которое у тебя есть.
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Зачем? Зачем я должен мириться с ним, если я могу его изменить?
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Нет, Кайл! Ты НЕ будешь делать негропластику!
00:10:27,950 --> 00:10:29,090
Но евреи не умеют играть в баскетбол!
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Немедленно перестаньте антисемитствовать, мистер!!
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Я больше никогда не буду с вами разговаривать!
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Ну, с меня хватит!
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Куда ты собрался?!
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Порву задницу этому доктору Байберу!
Куда ты собрался?!
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,610
Порву задницу этому доктору Байберу!
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,930
Кем вы себя возомнили?!
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,200
Доктором Байбером.
00:10:54,410 --> 00:10:59,030
Какой дебил решил хирургическим путём
сделать из моего сына высокого афроамериканца?
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А, вы отец Кайла.
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:03,780
Ха, правильно! А ещё я адвокат!
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:08,210
И я буду с вами судиться из-за преступной врачебной небрежности,
а вашу клинику закроют!!
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,830
Что это у вас на футболке?
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:13,550
Что за... Ну, это.. Дельфины! Ну и?
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:13,630
А-а-а, вам нравятся дельфины, хм?
Что за... Ну, это.. Дельфины! Ну и?
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:15,620
А-а-а, вам нравятся дельфины, хм?
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:19,420
Э.. я люблю дельфинов.
С детства я мечтал о...
00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:22,320
Ха, н-н-н.. Но это никак не относится к...
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:24,500
Могу вас им сделать.
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...Что?
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Вывернуть спину, переместить пищевод на макушку.
Да, относительно легко достичь полной дельфинопластики...
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,800
Сделать меня... дельфином?
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:44,440
Если б я мог плавать с дельфинами,
нежными и благородными дельфинами...
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:49,880
Почему же я не могу плавать с дельфинами?
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:53,670
...Нет.
00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:55,120
Нет, нет, это безумие.
00:11:55,370 --> 00:12:00,830
Нет ничего безумного в человеке, который желает и снаружи быть таким же, как внутри.
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,970
Это "Дикие Девчонки"!
00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:10,080
Эти девушки сделают что угодно!
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:17,970
Сделать ли это?! Сделать ли?!
А, какого чёрта!
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,250
Ваууу!
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,260
Смотрите, я буду хикикать и трясти ими!
Хихихихихи, хихихихихихи.
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:30,940
Боже, мужики готовы почти на всё, чтобы увидеть наши сиськи, правда?
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:36,050
Все мужики одинаковые. Мой парень меня бросил!
Оказывается, он был пиндосом.
00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:41,190
Но с тех пор я отрываюсь, трахаюсь со всеми мужиками подряд.
Girl power!
00:12:41,610 --> 00:12:44,780
Знаешь, как-то странно - у меня месячные не начинаются.
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:47,550
Почему может не начинаться?
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:53,360
Ну, ОБЫЧНО, если у женщины не начинается, то это значит, что она беременна.
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,280
...Беременна?
00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,540
О, боже мой.
00:12:58,430 --> 00:12:59,230
Ну конечно.
00:12:59,490 --> 00:13:04,520
С месячными у меня ничего не получилось потому что...
я залетела от одного из этих трахарей.
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,790
Слушайте все, я беременна!
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,090
Чёрт, теперь я могу сделать аборт!
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:19,500
Джеральд! Что случилось?!
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,480
Этот доктор творит чудеса, Шейла.
Я счастлив, как никогда.
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,570
Взгляни, Айк! Твой папочка - дельфин!
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:30,880
Дельфин?!?!
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,350
Шейла, мы были неправы, осуждая Кайла.
00:13:34,350 --> 00:13:37,750
Если он несчастен таким, какой он есть,
то кто мы такие, чтобы запрещать ему
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:40,360
операцию, которая сделает его счастливей?
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,100
Джеральд, это безумие!
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,080
И я думал, что я безумен.
00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:50,060
Но доктор Байбер сказал, что вокруг очень много транс-видовых людей.
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:56,740
Всё что я сделал - это поменял свою внешность так, как я чувствовал... здесь.
00:13:56,740 --> 00:14:01,480
И теперь я говорю тебе, что если мы не позволим Кайлу сделать то же самое,
то он никогда не будет счастлив.
00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:02,140
Никогда!
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:07,010
Мы должны ему не только это, Шейла.
Мы задолжали ему понимание.
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,390
Пацаны! Эй, пацаны, вы должны это видеть!
00:14:13,530 --> 00:14:14,190
Что?
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:16,190
Кайл! Он негр!
00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:20,000
Вау.
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,060
Глазам своим не верю.
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:21,910
А больно было?
00:14:21,910 --> 00:14:23,580
Да, но оно без сомнения того стоило.
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,160
Господи боже мой, чувак!
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,090
Смотри, Стэн, наконец-то я стал самим собой.
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:31,470
Мой отец собирается отвести меня на игру,
чтобы я снова попробовал пройти в команду.
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,270
Кайл, нам пора!
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:33,290
Иду, пап!
Кайл, нам пора!
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,230
Иду, пап!
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:38,950
Чувак, отец Кайла что... дельфин?
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,960
Он еврейский дельфин.
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,600
Еврефин.
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:49,030
А вы тоже на аборт?
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:53,760
Несколько дней назад я обнаружила, что из меня не течёт, так что я думаю, что залетела.
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,760
А доктор как, нормальный?
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:58,250
Миссис... Гаррисон?
00:14:58,430 --> 00:14:59,770
А, это я.
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:04,110
Здравствуйте, доктор, похоже, что мне нужен аборт.
00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:07,480
...аборт?
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:11,570
Ага, внутри меня растёт ребёнок.
Так вы выскоблите ему мозги, или высосите вакуумом?
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:16,730
...Если хотите, можете просто выскоблить,
а остатки я сама из себя выдавлю.
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,200
М-мистер Гаррисон..
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,490
Миссис Гаррисон.
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:24,160
Миссис Гаррисон,
вы не можете сделать аборт.
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,070
Не говорите, что мне можно, а что нельзя делать со своим телом!
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,980
У женщины есть право выбирать!
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:34,500
Нет, я имею в виду, что вы физически не способны сделать аборт,
потому что вы не можете забеременеть.
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,210
Но у меня не начинается менструация.
00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:38,740
И менструаций у вас быть не может.
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:45,310
Вам изменили пол, мистер Гаррисон, но у вас нет ни яичников, ни матки.
У вас нет яйцеклеток.
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:51,860
Вы хотите сказать, я никогда не узнаю, каково это - чувствовать,
что внутри тебя растёт ребёнок, а затем ему выскабливают мозг и отсасывают вакуумом?
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,160
Правильно.
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:56,890
Но я заплатил пять тысяч долларов за то чтобы быть женщиной.
00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:59,870
Это значит, что я на самом деле не женщина.
Я, я просто..
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:02,290
...просто мужчина с искалеченным членом!
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,170
Попросту говоря, да.
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,860
...О чёрт, я болван.
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:13,830
Эй, козёл!
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,410
Извините, я провожу операцию!
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,510
Ты говорил, что сделаешь из меня женщину!
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,270
Я поменял вам пол.
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:24,810
Да?! Что же это за женщина, которая не может сделать аборт и из которой раз в месяц не течёт кровь?!
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:29,110
Ты сделал из меня урода, вот кого! И я хочу вернуть всё как было!
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,570
Я уже мужчина?
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:33,340
Мистер Гаррисон, я не могу прикрепить ваши органы обратно.
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:34,880
Это почему ещё?!
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:40,410
Потому что я уже использовал ваши семенники для колен мальчика,
который хотел быть высоким и темнокожим.
00:16:40,570 --> 00:16:41,650
ЧЕГО ты сделал?!
00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:46,480
А из вашей мошонки я сделал спинной плавник человеку,
который хотел быть похожим на дельфина.
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:52,190
Вот как! Вы идёте со мной разыскивать мои яйца и мошонку, мистер Мужчина!
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,990
Добро пожаловать на баскетбольные соревнования между...
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:09,190
...лучшими четвероклассниками из Колорадо и
лучшими четвероклассниками из Вайоминга.
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,130
Тренер! Тренер, я стал лучше. Я готов играть.
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,180
Ты кто?
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:18,620
Это я, Кайл Брофловски.
Я сделал негропластику.
Могу я теперь участвовать в команде штата?
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:22,950
Ну, ты достаточно высокий и тёмный.
Хорошо, Брофловски, переодевайся!
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,000
Отлично!
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,650
Пап, я буду играть!
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,250
Отлично, Кайл!
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:33,560
Извините, а где тут у вас специальные места для дельфинов?
00:17:38,940 --> 00:17:41,420
Мальчики, вы не видели Кайла?!
Дома его нет.
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,510
Кайл уехал на баскетбольную игру, миссис Гаррисон.
00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:48,390
Он собирается играть в баскетбол?
О боже.
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:48,980
А что?
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,120
Ну, я же сделал только, чтобы он выглядел как баскетболист.
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:56,230
Если он на самом деле будет играть, семенники в его коленях лопнут!
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,520
Что?!
Но вы же сделали из него баскетболиста.
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:05,100
Нет, он только выглядит так.
Мы должны удержать его от игры!
Эти семенники в его коленях - бомбы с часовым механизмом!
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:10,160
Господи!
Залезайте, мальчики, мы должны добраться
до моих яиц прежде, чем Кайл навредит себе!
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:26,170
Брофловски, приготовься заменить Оувенса.
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,970
Всегда готов!
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,710
Простите, а где тут у вас ванная для дельфинов?
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,320
У нас... такой нету.
00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:43,520
И где, блин, мне принимать ванну?
Мне нужен большой резервуар с морской водой.
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:46,290
Эээ... Мне жаль.
00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:50,910
Чёрт побери, люди, вы должны делать специальные
приспособления для трансвидовых людей вроде меня.
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,620
Я, конечно, дельфин, но я ещё и адвокат!
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:56,030
Вы адвофин?
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,000
Ваши билеты, пожалуйста.
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,040
У нас нет билетов.
Ваши билеты, пожалуйста.
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,270
У нас нет билетов.
00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:01,970
Извините, мэм, нет билетов - нет прохода.
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:05,620
Послушайте, там мальчик с яйцами в коленях, и ему грозит серьёзная опасность!
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:06,960
Чего?
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,290
Моя мошонка!
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,630
У этого дельфина моя мошонка!
Пустите нас!
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:13,830
Вы не можете войти, мэм!
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,500
Несанкционированное проникновение на первый уровень!
00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:23,640
Брофловски, заходишь как только наши завладеют мячом.
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:24,190
Понял!
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,020
Ай.
Хм.
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,800
Джеральд, где Кайл?!
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:30,830
Что? Зачем??
00:19:31,010 --> 00:19:33,920
Мои яйца в его в коленях.
Если он на них прыгнет, они лопнут!
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:34,970
О, боже мой!
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,520
Вон они, возле того дельфина!
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:39,790
Мы должны добраться до яиц!
00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:44,670
Остановите их!
Они не заплатили по два доллара за вход!
00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:48,410
Замена в команде Колорадо, номер 8, Кайл Брофловски.
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,700
Господи, он собирается играть!
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,140
Миссис Гаррисон, держите Кайла!
00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:58,990
Который из них - он?
00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,550
Эй, какого чёрта?!
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,630
Остановите игру!
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,560
У меня! Мяч у меня!
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:19,160
Кайл, НЕТ!
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,030
Брофловски бросает мяч в прыжке!
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,100
НЕТ!
00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:30,490
Мои яяяяяйцаааа!
00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:49,530
Давайте проясним.
00:20:49,530 --> 00:20:56,930
Та женщина хотела добраться до своих яиц,
которые были в коленях черного паренька,
отец которого - дельфин.
00:20:57,470 --> 00:20:58,850
Ага, в общих чертах так.
00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:01,890
Ну, похоже, что в этом деле всё понятно, можно его закрывать.
Ладно, уводите!
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:06,570
Извини, Кайл, нужно было сказать тебе,
что операция была только косметической.
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,040
Так что, это значит, что я на самом деле не дельфин?
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,470
Приходите вдвоём в клинику и я всё сделаю,
как раньше, за символическую плату.
00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:17,810
А как же мистер Гаррисон?
Ему не получится сделать, как раньше.
00:21:21,130 --> 00:21:27,170
Знаете что? Всё нормально.
И хотя я не настоящая женщина, мне всё равно нравлюсь новая я.
00:21:27,390 --> 00:21:30,530
Я лучше буду женщиной без месячных, чем пиндосом.
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:37,000
Эй, парни! Я женщина!
Кто хочет мне присунуть?
Girl power!
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:40,430
Замечания (и благодарности :) по переводу и синхронизации слать на vlish@gorodok.net.
Все русские субтитры к Саут-Парку - на http://sp.gorodok.net !
eng__.srt
eng__.srt
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,056
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,563
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,440
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,443
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,284
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,542
Hello, Mr. Garrison.
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:42,877
I'm Dr. Biber.
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:45,421
I'll be performing your surgery
today.
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,964
God bless you, Doctor.
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,383
I know you'll make me well
again.
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:53,888
Now, you're absolutely sure
you want to have a vaginoplasty?
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,058
My whole life, I've been a woman
trapped in a man's body.
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,852
A sex-change operation
is my last chance at happiness.
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,855
All right.
Then let's begin.
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,273
Just relax, Mr. Garrison.
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:07,693
I think if more people could
just see a sex-change operation,
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,154
they would know
how perfectly natural it is.
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,409
The first thing I'm going to do
is slice your balls.
00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:22,958
With the scrotum open, I can now
discard of your testicles.
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,127
So long, balls.
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:29,215
Now I'll just continue
the incision
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,467
up the shaft of the penis.
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,052
Oh, that stings.
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:37,890
Now I'll just turn your penis
inside out.
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,934
Whoa. Oh, geez.
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:44,063
All we need to do now
is stuff the unskinned penis
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,065
inside your pelvis.
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,776
And now I'll use the skin
from your penis
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,320
to make the vaginal lips.
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,447
Do I look like a woman?
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,535
Pretty much.
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,417
Dude, don't be nervous.
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:06,460
How can I not be nervous?
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,795
Trying out
for the all-state team
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,046
has been my dream for years.
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,464
You're the best player
at our school.
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:11,549
You'll make the team for sure.
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:14,093
This is ridiculous.
Jews can't play basketball.
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,928
I beat out your fat ass,
Cartman!
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,806
All students trying out for the
all-state team to center court!
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,141
Good luck.
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,063
Hi, boys.
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:29,024
Now, you're all here because
you're the best of the best.
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,819
I know that you've all worked
really hard to make it this far.
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,363
Now let's get out there
and show me what you got!
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:53,007
Uh, excuse me.
B-Broflovski, is it?
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,300
Yeah?
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,135
Can we talk to you
for a minute?
00:02:57,428 --> 00:03:00,598
You, uh, you're the best player
in your school, are you?
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:01,682
Yep!
I love basketball.
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,809
I want to play
for the Denver Nuggets someday!
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,895
Yeah.
Uh, look, kid.
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,898
You've got great skills
and a great attitude,
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:12,693
but you're just not
physically built for the game.
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,195
What do you mean?
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,115
Well, it's just that...
Jews can't play basketball.
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,325
All right, kids!
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,869
We got to work on that shooting!
Come on!
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,922
Dude, you were awesome, Kyle.
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,926
Look, y-you gave it
your best shot, right?
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,427
That's all you could do.
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,776
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,110
♪ Yo-o-o-o-u lost ♪
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,029
♪ Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ♪
00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:04,411
Kyle, I'm totally ripping on you
at a totally inappropriate time.
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,539
I know.
I deserve it.
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:08,791
Yeah.
You know why?
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,043
Because Jews can't
play basketball!
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,504
You're right.
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,589
Jesus.
That's no fun.
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,305
Hey, everybody,
you're not gonna believe it!
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,848
Believe what?
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:27,810
It's Mr. Garrison!
O-Only it isn't Mr. Garrison!
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:31,146
H-He's a woman now!
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,024
Hello, everybody!
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,988
Can you believe it, ladies?
I'm one of you now!
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:42,074
Wow!
Just look at all these tampons!
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,784
Regular, heavy flow.
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,079
Oh, boy! I can't wait
till I get my first period!
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,376
Hi, gals!
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,421
Oh, boy. Can you believe the
sales they're having out there?
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:58,340
Well, I'm about to pee out
my vagina for the first time.
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,259
Give us a hug!
Girls club!
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,470
All right.
Here it goes.
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,057
Oh, wow! This is great!
Look at that!
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:10,352
I'm peeing sitting down like a
dainty, dignified little woman!
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,190
Say, any of you ladies want to
go see a sad movie together?
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,574
You guys try those
new Wings tampons?
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,326
Do those work well?
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,336
Kyle, you have to cheer up,
dude.
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,338
So you aren't built right
for basketball.
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,256
But I feel like
a basketball player.
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,424
It's all I want to do!
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,384
Hello, boys!
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,637
It's me, your teacher,
Mrs. Garrison!
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,099
You guys,
Mr. Garrison has titties.
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,768
I had a sex-change operation.
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,436
My penis is now a vagina,
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,647
and I'm experiencing womanhood
for the first time in my life!
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,399
See you in class!
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,116
Mom, Dad,
what's a sex-change operation?
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,409
What?
Uh, n-nothing.
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,329
I'll explain it to you
when you're a little older.
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,747
But our teacher, Mr. Garrison --
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,624
He just had his penis
made into a vagina.
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,751
- How come?
- Penis!
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,879
Your teacher had a sex change?!
Oh, my God!
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,172
Vagina!
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,050
That does it. I'm taking
you boys out of that school!
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,594
Gerald, that is
very close-minded of you.
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,305
You shouldn't judge people
who want to change.
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,306
He's a teacher!
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,892
How are we supposed to explain
this to our children?
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,310
It's very simple.
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,939
You see, Kyle,
sometimes a person's outside
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,067
doesn't reflect who they are
on the inside.
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,402
Yeah!
That's right!
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,445
They feel like they're
somebody trapped
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,197
in another person's body.
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,742
And so they can have a surgery
that makes them
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,578
more into the person
they see themselves as.
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:52,871
Do you understand?
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,207
Totally!
I totally understand!
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:59,044
There. You see, Gerald?
He totally understands.
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:04,133
So, I hear you're interested
in reconstructive surgery.
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,343
Yeah, my schoolteacher
wanted to be a woman,
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,636
and you made him into one.
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,012
Oh, yes.
Mr. Garrison.
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:12,057
Uh, yes. He had a vaginoplasty.
Mm-hmm.
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,309
Well, do you also do
other surgeries like that?
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,563
Sure. You see, sometimes
a woman wants to be a man.
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,107
That procedure is called
a peniplasty.
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,818
No, no.
I want to be tall and black.
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,571
You what?
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,366
I hate being small and Jewish.
I feel like a tall black man.
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,663
Oh, you want a negroplasty!
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,707
- Yeah!
- A-A negroplasty?!
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:38,667
It's a fairly common procedure,
really --
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,669
just the reverse
of a caucasioplasty
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,171
just like Michael Jackson had.
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,380
Let's take a look here.
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,300
What we do is slice your face
and peel it back
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:49,595
so we can insert new
pigment-producing cells inside.
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,473
We break the arm bones
in several places
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,600
and put bracers
to make them longer.
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:56,643
Now, the knees
we need to snap off
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,729
and fill with small,
round objects
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:00,439
that can cause better movement.
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,733
And we finish it off
with a nice peniplasty
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,401
to enhance the genitalia.
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:08,739
Negroplasty takes about seven
hours and costs roughly $3,000.
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,867
Uh, excuse me.
Is this really a good idea?
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,703
Well, it's a good idea if you
want to be tall and black.
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,372
Otherwise,
I wouldn't recommend it.
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,377
Hello, Mr. Slave!
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,714
Boy, have I been busy.
A woman's work is never done.
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,466
I got some tampons.
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,843
I should be getting my period
really soon.
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:34,264
Hope I don't get too emotional
and drive you crazy with my PMS.
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,686
Mr. Slave,
I got something for us, too.
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,815
Would you like to take
this beautiful woman to bed?
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,692
No, thanks.
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,444
N-No, thanks?
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:48,529
Come on, Mr. Slave.
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,405
I want to try out
my new snootch.
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,950
I can't believe you just went
ahead and had that surgery
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,577
without even asking me
what I thought.
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,913
Well, I assumed
you supported me.
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,458
It's still me. I just have
a vagina instead of a penis.
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,795
But I'm gay.
I don't like vaginas.
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172
Don't you even care
that I was suffering?
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,132
I wasn't happy the way I was!
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,760
It's great that you feel better,
but you never stopped to think
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,054
about how the people around you
would feel!
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,973
Look, we can still be together.
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,433
All you have to do
is stop being gay.
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,520
How can you say that?!
You're gay, too!
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,981
I'm not gay!
I'm a woman!
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,649
Oh!
Jesus Christ!
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,652
Oh, so is that it?!
You're just gonna walk out?
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,279
You men are all alike!
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:34,575
Go ahead and find somebody who
doesn't have a vagina, you fag!
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,414
Mom! Dad!
I have awesome news!
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,499
The doctor who gave
Mr. Garrison a sex change
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,710
said he can make me tall
and black!
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,253
What?!
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,088
Dr. Biber said he can give me
a negroplasty
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,132
so I can finally look the way
I've always wanted!
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,467
He even took my picture
and then did computer imaging
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,595
to show what I would look like
after the surgery!
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,099
Oh, just great.
You see, Sheila?
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:02,019
This is what your transgender
progressive thinking gets you!
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,979
Now your son wants to be
transracial.
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,648
Can I have $3,000, Mom and Dad?
Huh? Can I?
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,275
Absolutely not, Kyle!
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,443
But why not?
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,111
You said sometimes
people need surgery
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,863
to feel better about themselves.
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:13,655
Yes, but, Kyle --
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,449
Well, all my life,
I've felt that I was black.
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:16,992
I listen to hip-hop,
I watch UPN,
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,285
and I love playing basketball.
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,245
My body doesn't reflect
who I am inside.
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,706
Kyle, you have to accept
your body the way it is.
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,625
Why? Why do I have to accept it
when I can change it?
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,084
The answer is no, Kyle!
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,711
You're not going to have
negroplasty!
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,129
But Jews can't play basketball!
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,007
Kyle, you better stop being
anti-Semitic right now, mister!
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,054
I'm never speaking
to either one of you ever again!
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,848
- Oh, that does it!
- Where are you going?
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,934
That Dr. Biber is about
to get his ass bitten off!
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,319
Who the hell do you think
you are?!
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,404
Dr. Biber.
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,240
What kind of nut job would agree
to surgically alter my son
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,992
into a tall African-American?!
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,786
Oh, you're Kyle's father.
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:03,830
That's right, and I also happen
to be a lawyer!
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,166
And I'm gonna have you sued for
malpractice
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,668
and your clinic shut down!
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,836
What is that on your shirt?
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:13,423
What the -- They're --
They're dolphins. Why?
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,425
Ah.
You like dolphins, hmm?
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,052
I love dolphins.
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,137
Ever since I was a child,
I've dreamt of --
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,890
uh, b-but that hardly has any
bearing on what I'm here to --
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,643
I can make you one.
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,644
What?
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,645
Invert the back,
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,605
move the esophagus to the top
of the head.
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:32,150
Yes, a full dolphinoplasty could
be achieved relatively simply.
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,696
Make me a...dolphin?
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:40,200
♪ If I could swim
with the dolphins ♪
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:44,246
♪ The soft and gentle dolphins ♪
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:50,627
♪ Why can't I swim
with the dolphins? ♪
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,006
No.
No, no. It's crazy.
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,967
There's nothing crazy
about a person
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,468
wanting to look on the outside
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,221
the way they feel
on the inside.
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,391
It's "Girls Gone Wild"!
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,561
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,896
These girls will do anything!
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,360
Oh, gee!
Should I do it?
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,029
Should I do it?
Oh, what the hell?
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,531
Whoo! Whoo!
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,993
Look. I'll giggle and
make them bounce up and down!
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:26,955
Oh, boy.
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,582
Men will do just about anything
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,792
to get a look at our tits,
won't they?
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,252
Men are all the same.
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,254
My boyfriend walked out on me.
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,630
Turns out he was a fag.
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,424
But I've been living it up
ever since,
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,926
having sex with all kinds
of different guys!
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,344
Girl power!
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,765
You know, the strange thing is
I haven't gotten my period yet.
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:48,018
Is there a reason a woman
might miss her period?
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,146
Well, normally if a woman misses
her period,
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,024
it means she's pregnant.
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,859
Pregnant?
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,069
Oh, my God.
00:12:58,195 --> 00:12:59,237
Of course.
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,114
I haven't gotten
to experience a period
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,701
because one of those truckers
I slept with got me knocked up.
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,995
I'm pregnant, everybody!
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,332
Oh, boy!
Now I can have an abortion!
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,591
Gerald!
What happened to you?!
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,760
That doctor is a miracle worker,
Sheila!
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,595
I-I'm the happiest
I've ever been!
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,057
Look, Ike!
Your daddy's a dolphin!
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,644
A dolphin?!
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:34,147
Sheila, I-it was wrong of us
to be so judgmental of Kyle.
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,191
If he isn't happy
with who he is,
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,984
then who are we
to deny him surgery
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,403
that will make him feel better
about himself?
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,782
Gerald, this is crazy.
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,492
I used to think I was crazy.
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,077
But Dr. Biber told me
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:48,829
that there are a lot
of other people out there
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,831
who are trans-species.
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:53,708
All I did is change
my appearance
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,753
to look the way I felt here.
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:59,923
And I'm telling you now that if
we don't let Kyle do the same,
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,217
he may never be happy, ever.
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,135
We owe him more than that,
Sheila.
00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,097
We owe him understanding!
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,018
Fellas!
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,436
Hey, fellas,
you got to come see!
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,938
- What?
- It's Kyle!
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,690
He's a Negro!
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:19,860
Wow.
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,653
- I can't believe it.
- Did it hurt?
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,823
Yeah, but it was
totally worth it.
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,157
Jesus Christ, dude!
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,409
Look, Stan!
I'm finally whole!
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,661
My dad is even gonna take me
back down to the all-star game
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,288
to see if I can try out
for the team again!
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,206
Come on, Kyle!
We should get going!
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,916
All right, Dad!
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:39,170
Dude, is Kyle's dad a dolphin?
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:42,966
He's a Jewish dolphin --
a Jewphin.
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,347
You here for an abortion, too?
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,932
Yeah, I discovered
a few days ago
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,935
I wasn't bleeding out my cooze,
so I guess I'm knocked up.
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,228
Is this doctor any good?
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,064
Mrs. Garrison?
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,400
Oh, that's me.
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,529
Hello, Doctor. It looks like
I need an abortion.
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,198
An abortion?
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,700
Yeah.
I've got one growing inside me.
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,078
Are you gonna scramble its
brains or just vacuum it out?
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,873
If you want,
you can just scramble it,
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,958
and I'll queef it out myself.
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,670
- Mr. Garrison --
- Mrs. Garrison.
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:24,132
Mrs. Garrison,
you can't have an abortion.
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,843
Don't you tell me what I can
and can't do with my body!
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,012
A woman has a right to choose!
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:32,265
No. I mean you're physically
unable to have an abortion
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,434
because you can't get pregnant.
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,144
But I missed my period.
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,480
You can't have periods, either.
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,024
You had a sex change,
Mr. Garrison,
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,401
but you don't have ovaries
or a womb.
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,111
You don't produce eggs.
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,948
You mean...I'll never
know what it feels like
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,574
to have a baby growing inside me
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,826
and then scramble its brains
and vacuum it out?
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,078
That's right.
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,623
But I paid $5,000 to be a woman.
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,667
This would mean
I'm not really a woman.
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,295
It's -- I'm just a -- I'm just
a guy with a mutilated penis!
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,339
Basically, yes.
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,468
Oh, boy, do I feel
like a jackass.
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,682
Hey, asshole!
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,017
Excuse me. I'm performing
an operation here.
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,395
You told me you were gonna
make me into a woman!
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,772
- I gave you a sex change.
- Yeah?!
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,774
Well, what kind of woman
can't have abortions
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,818
and bleed out her snatch
once a month?!
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,987
You made me into a freak
is what you did,
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,197
and I want you
to change me back!
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,532
Am I a man yet?
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,159
Mr. Garrison,
I can't reattach your organs.
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,494
Why the hell not?!
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,705
Because I've already used
your testicles
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,581
to fashion new knees
for a little boy
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,291
who wanted to be tall and black.
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,501
You what?!
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,962
And your scrotum has been made
into a dorsal fin
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:46,172
for a man who wanted to look
more like a dolphin.
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,008
Oh, you --
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,343
You're coming with me to find
my balls and scrotum
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,595
right now, Mr. Man!
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:02,022
Welcome to the all-state
basketball playoffs
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:05,108
between the best fourth-grade
players from Colorado
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,444
and the best fourth-grade
players from Wyoming.
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,323
Coach! Coach! I'm all better.
I'm ready to play!
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,783
Who are you?
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,661
I-It's me, Kyle Broflovski.
I had a negroplasty.
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,455
Can I play on
the all-state team now?
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,915
Well, you're tall
and black enough.
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,542
All right, Broflovski.
Suit up!
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,960
All right!
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,295
Dad, I can play!
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,630
All right, Kyle!
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:34,054
Excuse me. Where do you have
special seating for dolphins?
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,352
Boys, have you seen Kyle?
He's not at home!
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,522
Kyle went down to play in the
basketball game, Mrs. Garrison.
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,566
He's going to play basketball?
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,610
- Oh, my God.
- What?
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,988
Well, I only made him look like
he could play basketball.
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,323
If he actually does it,
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,159
the testicles in his knees
will explode.
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,203
What?! But you made him
into a basketball player!
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,413
No, I just made him
look more like one.
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,165
We have to stop him
from playing.
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:05,168
Those testicles in his knees
are ticking time balls!
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,294
Oh, Jesus!
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,295
Come on, boys.
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,673
We've got to get to my balls
before Kyle hurts himself!
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:15,220
♪ And the home of the brave ♪
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,980
Broflovski, be ready
to take over for Owens.
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,191
I'm 100% ready, Coach!
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,991
E-Excuse me. Where -- Where is
the bathroom for dolphins?
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:39,077
We don't have one.
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,204
Well, where the hell am I
supposed to go to the bathroom?!
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,289
I-I need a large tank
with saltwater!
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,751
Uh...too bad?
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,087
Damn it, you people have to make
special arrangements
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,839
for trans-species people
like me.
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,967
I may be a dolphin,
but I'm also a lawyer!
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,969
You're a lawphin?
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,721
Tickets, please.
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,014
We don't have tickets!
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,891
Sorry, ma'am.
No tickets, no entry.
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,893
Look, there's a boy
with my balls in his knees,
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,436
and he's in serious danger!
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:06,896
What?
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,022
My scrotum!
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,318
That dolphin has my scrotum!
Now let us in!
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,528
You can't go in, ma'am!
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,366
We have unauthorized entry
on level 1!
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:23,079
All right, Broflovski.
You're going in next possession.
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,289
All right!
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,667
Ow.
Hmm.
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,627
Gerald, where's Kyle?!
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,546
- What? Why?
- My balls are in his knees.
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,631
If he jumps with them,
they'll explode!
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:34,924
Oh, my God!
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,427
There they are,
next to that dolphin!
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,637
Come on.
We got to get to those balls!
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:41,848
Stop them!
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,184
They didn't pay
the $2 entry fee!
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,144
Now substituting for Colorado,
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,605
number 4, Kyle Broflovski.
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,399
Oh, Jesus!
He's about to play!
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,030
Mrs. Garrison, grab Kyle!
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,865
Which one is he?
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,621
Aah!
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,248
Hey, what the hell?
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,917
Stop the game!
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,837
Aah!
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,051
I got it!
I got the ball!
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:18,968
Kyle, no!
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,970
Broflovski goes for the dunk!
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:21,971
No!
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:30,063
My balls!
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,735
Aah!
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,290
So let me get this straight.
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,585
That woman over there was trying
to get to her balls,
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,712
which were in the knees
of a black child
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,756
whose father is a dolphin.
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,633
Yeah, that's basically it.
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,301
Sounds like
an open-and-shut case.
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,678
All right.
Let's head 'em out!
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:02,929
I'm sorry, Kyle.
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:06,516
I should've told you
the surgery was cosmetic only.
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:10,061
So does this mean
I'm not really a dolphin?
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,813
Let's get you two
up to the clinic,
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,607
and I'll change you back
for a nominal fee.
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,194
But what about Mr. Garrison?
He can't go back.
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,949
You know what?
I'm okay.
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,909
Even though
I'm not truly a woman,
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:27,120
I think I still like the new me.
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:30,290
I'd rather be a woman who can't
have periods than a fag.
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:33,334
Hey, guys!
This girl is staying a woman!
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,295
Who wants to pound my vag?!
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,713
Girl power!
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,056
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,641
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,563
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,440
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,443
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,946
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,284
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,542
- [ Monitor beeping ]
- Hello, Mr. Garrison.
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:42,877
I'm Dr. Biber.
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:45,421
I'll be performing your surgery
today.
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,964
God bless you, Doctor.
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,383
I know you'll make me well
again.
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:53,888
Now, you're absolutely sure
you want to have a vaginoplasty?
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,058
My whole life, I've been a woman
trapped in a man's body.
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,852
A sex-change operation
is my last chance at happiness.
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,855
All right.
Then let's begin.
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,273
Just relax, Mr. Garrison.
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:07,693
I think if more people could
just see a sex-change operation,
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,154
they would know
how perfectly natural it is.
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,155
[ Clears throat ]
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,409
The first thing I'm going to do
is slice your balls.
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,204
[ Groans ]
00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:22,958
With the scrotum open, I can now
discard of your testicles.
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,127
So long, balls.
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:29,215
Now I'll just continue
the incision
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,467
up the shaft of the penis.
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,052
Oh, that stings.
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:37,890
Now I'll just turn your penis
inside out.
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,934
MR. GARRISON:
Whoa. Oh, geez.
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:44,063
All we need to do now
is stuff the unskinned penis
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,065
inside your pelvis.
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,776
And now I'll use the skin
from your penis
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,320
to make the vaginal lips.
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,447
Do I look like a woman?
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,535
Pretty much.
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,663
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,417
Dude, don't be nervous.
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:06,460
How can I not be nervous?
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,795
Trying out
for the all-state team
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,046
has been my dream for years.
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,464
You're the best player
at our school.
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:11,549
You'll make the team for sure.
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:14,093
This is ridiculous.
Jews can't play basketball.
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,928
I beat out your fat ass,
Cartman!
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,806
All students trying out for the
all-state team to center court!
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,141
Good luck.
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,063
Hi, boys.
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:29,024
Now, you're all here because
you're the best of the best.
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,819
I know that you've all worked
really hard to make it this far.
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,363
Now let's get out there
and show me what you got!
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,199
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:53,007
Uh, excuse me.
B-Broflovski, is it?
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,300
Yeah?
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,135
Can we talk to you
for a minute?
00:02:57,428 --> 00:03:00,598
You, uh, you're the best player
in your school, are you?
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:01,682
Yep!
I love basketball.
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,809
I want to play
for the Denver Nuggets someday!
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,895
Yeah.
Uh, look, kid.
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,898
You've got great skills
and a great attitude,
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:12,693
but you're just not
physically built for the game.
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,195
What do you mean?
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,115
Well, it's just that...
Jews can't play basketball.
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,325
- [ Whistle blows ]
- All right, kids!
00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,869
We got to work on that shooting!
Come on!
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,372
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,922
Dude, you were awesome, Kyle.
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,926
Look, y-you gave it
your best shot, right?
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,427
That's all you could do.
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,064
[ Music continues ]
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,776
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,110
♪ Yo-o-o-o-u lost ♪
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,029
♪ Ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ♪
00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:04,411
Kyle, I'm totally ripping on you
at a totally inappropriate time.
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,539
I know.
I deserve it.
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:08,791
Yeah.
You know why?
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,043
Because Jews can't
play basketball!
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,504
You're right.
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,589
Jesus.
That's no fun.
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,305
Hey, everybody,
you're not gonna believe it!
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,848
Believe what?
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:27,810
It's Mr. Garrison!
O-Only it isn't Mr. Garrison!
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:31,146
H-He's a woman now!
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,024
Hello, everybody!
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,988
Can you believe it, ladies?
I'm one of you now!
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:42,074
Wow!
Just look at all these tampons!
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,784
Regular, heavy flow.
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,079
Oh, boy! I can't wait
till I get my first period!
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,957
[ Humming ]
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,376
Hi, gals!
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,421
Oh, boy. Can you believe the
sales they're having out there?
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:58,340
Well, I'm about to pee out
my vagina for the first time.
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,259
Give us a hug!
Girls club!
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,470
All right.
Here it goes.
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,555
[ Urinating ]
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,057
Oh, wow! This is great!
Look at that!
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:10,352
I'm peeing sitting down like a
dainty, dignified little woman!
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,438
[ Fart, plop ]
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,190
Say, any of you ladies want to
go see a sad movie together?
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,526
[ Farting ]
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,574
You guys try those
new Wings tampons?
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,326
Do those work well?
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,453
[ Farting ]
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,336
Kyle, you have to cheer up,
dude.
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,338
So you aren't built right
for basketball.
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,256
But I feel like
a basketball player.
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,424
It's all I want to do!
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,384
Hello, boys!
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,637
It's me, your teacher,
Mrs. Garrison!
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,099
You guys,
Mr. Garrison has titties.
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,768
I had a sex-change operation.
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,436
My penis is now a vagina,
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,647
and I'm experiencing womanhood
for the first time in my life!
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,399
See you in class!
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,116
Mom, Dad,
what's a sex-change operation?
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,409
What?
Uh, n-nothing.
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,329
I'll explain it to you
when you're a little older.
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,747
But our teacher, Mr. Garrison --
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,624
He just had his penis
made into a vagina.
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,751
- How come?
- Penis!
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,879
Your teacher had a sex change?!
Oh, my God!
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,172
Vagina!
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,050
That does it. I'm taking
you boys out of that school!
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,594
Gerald, that is
very close-minded of you.
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,305
You shouldn't judge people
who want to change.
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,306
He's a teacher!
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,892
How are we supposed to explain
this to our children?
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,310
It's very simple.
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,939
You see, Kyle,
sometimes a person's outside
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,067
doesn't reflect who they are
on the inside.
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,402
Yeah!
That's right!
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,445
They feel like they're
somebody trapped
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,197
in another person's body.
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,742
And so they can have a surgery
that makes them
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:51,578
more into the person
they see themselves as.
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:52,871
Do you understand?
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,207
Totally!
I totally understand!
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:59,044
There. You see, Gerald?
He totally understands.
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:04,133
So, I hear you're interested
in reconstructive surgery.
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,343
Yeah, my schoolteacher
wanted to be a woman,
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,636
and you made him into one.
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,012
Oh, yes.
Mr. Garrison.
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:12,057
Uh, yes. He had a vaginoplasty.
Mm-hmm.
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,309
Well, do you also do
other surgeries like that?
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,563
Sure. You see, sometimes
a woman wants to be a man.
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,107
That procedure is called
a peniplasty.
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,818
No, no.
I want to be tall and black.
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,571
You what?
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,366
I hate being small and Jewish.
I feel like a tall black man.
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,663
Oh, you want a negroplasty!
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,707
- Yeah!
- A-A negroplasty?!
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:38,667
It's a fairly common procedure,
really --
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,669
just the reverse
of a caucasioplasty
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,171
just like Michael Jackson had.
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,380
Let's take a look here.
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,300
What we do is slice your face
and peel it back
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:49,595
so we can insert new
pigment-producing cells inside.
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,473
We break the arm bones
in several places
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,600
and put bracers
to make them longer.
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:56,643
Now, the knees
we need to snap off
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,729
and fill with small,
round objects
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:00,439
that can cause better movement.
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,733
And we finish it off
with a nice peniplasty
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,401
to enhance the genitalia.
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:08,739
Negroplasty takes about seven
hours and costs roughly $3,000.
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,867
Uh, excuse me.
Is this really a good idea?
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,703
Well, it's a good idea if you
want to be tall and black.
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,372
Otherwise,
I wouldn't recommend it.
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,377
Hello, Mr. Slave!
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,714
Boy, have I been busy.
A woman's work is never done.
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,466
I got some tampons.
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,843
I should be getting my period
really soon.
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:34,264
Hope I don't get too emotional
and drive you crazy with my PMS.
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,686
Mr. Slave,
I got something for us, too.
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,815
Would you like to take
this beautiful woman to bed?
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,692
No, thanks.
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,444
N-No, thanks?
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:48,529
Come on, Mr. Slave.
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,405
I want to try out
my new snootch.
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,950
I can't believe you just went
ahead and had that surgery
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,577
without even asking me
what I thought.
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,913
Well, I assumed
you supported me.
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,458
It's still me. I just have
a vagina instead of a penis.
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,795
But I'm gay.
I don't like vaginas.
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172
Don't you even care
that I was suffering?
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,132
I wasn't happy the way I was!
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,760
It's great that you feel better,
but you never stopped to think
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,054
about how the people around you
would feel!
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,973
Look, we can still be together.
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,433
All you have to do
is stop being gay.
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,520
How can you say that?!
You're gay, too!
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,981
I'm not gay!
I'm a woman!
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:25,649
Oh!
Jesus Christ!
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,652
Oh, so is that it?!
You're just gonna walk out?
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,279
You men are all alike!
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:34,575
Go ahead and find somebody who
doesn't have a vagina, you fag!
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,414
Mom! Dad!
I have awesome news!
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,499
The doctor who gave
Mr. Garrison a sex change
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,710
said he can make me tall
and black!
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,253
What?!
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,088
Dr. Biber said he can give me
a negroplasty
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,132
so I can finally look the way
I've always wanted!
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,467
He even took my picture
and then did computer imaging
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,595
to show what I would look like
after the surgery!
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,099
Oh, just great.
You see, Sheila?
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:02,019
This is what your transgender
progressive thinking gets you!
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,979
Now your son wants to be
transracial.
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,648
Can I have $3,000, Mom and Dad?
Huh? Can I?
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,275
Absolutely not, Kyle!
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,443
But why not?
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,111
You said sometimes
people need surgery
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,863
to feel better about themselves.
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:13,655
Yes, but, Kyle --
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,449
Well, all my life,
I've felt that I was black.
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:16,992
I listen to hip-hop,
I watch UPN,
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,285
and I love playing basketball.
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,245
My body doesn't reflect
who I am inside.
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,706
Kyle, you have to accept
your body the way it is.
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,625
Why? Why do I have to accept it
when I can change it?
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,084
The answer is no, Kyle!
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,711
You're not going to have
negroplasty!
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,129
But Jews can't play basketball!
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,007
Kyle, you better stop being
anti-Semitic right now, mister!
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,054
I'm never speaking
to either one of you ever again!
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,096
[ Door slams ]
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,848
- Oh, that does it!
- Where are you going?
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,934
That Dr. Biber is about
to get his ass bitten off!
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,319
Who the hell do you think
you are?!
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,404
Dr. Biber.
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,240
What kind of nut job would agree
to surgically alter my son
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,992
into a tall African-American?!
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,786
Oh, you're Kyle's father.
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:03,830
That's right, and I also happen
to be a lawyer!
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,166
And I'm gonna have you sued for
malpractice
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,668
and your clinic shut down!
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,836
What is that on your shirt?
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:13,423
What the -- They're --
They're dolphins. Why?
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,425
Ah.
You like dolphins, hmm?
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,052
I love dolphins.
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,137
Ever since I was a child,
I've dreamt of --
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,890
uh, b-but that hardly has any
bearing on what I'm here to --
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,643
I can make you one.
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,644
What?
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,645
Invert the back,
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,605
move the esophagus to the top
of the head.
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:32,150
Yes, a full dolphinoplasty could
be achieved relatively simply.
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,696
Make me a...dolphin?
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:40,200
♪ If I could swim
with the dolphins ♪
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:44,246
♪ The soft and gentle dolphins ♪
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:50,627
♪ Why can't I swim
with the dolphins? ♪
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,006
No.
No, no. It's crazy.
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,967
There's nothing crazy
about a person
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,468
wanting to look on the outside
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,221
the way they feel
on the inside.
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,391
MAN:
It's "Girls Gone Wild"!
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,059
[ Crowd cheering ]
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:07,561
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,896
MAN:
These girls will do anything!
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,483
[ Laughter, cheering ]
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,360
Oh, gee!
Should I do it?
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,029
Should I do it?
Oh, what the hell?
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,531
Whoo! Whoo!
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,991
[ Crowd groans ]
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,993
Look. I'll giggle and
make them bounce up and down!
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,579
[ Giggling ]
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:26,955
Oh, boy.
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,582
Men will do just about anything
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,792
to get a look at our tits,
won't they?
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,252
Men are all the same.
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,254
My boyfriend walked out on me.
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,630
Turns out he was a fag.
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,424
But I've been living it up
ever since,
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,926
having sex with all kinds
of different guys!
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,344
Girl power!
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,765
You know, the strange thing is
I haven't gotten my period yet.
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:48,018
Is there a reason a woman
might miss her period?
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,146
Well, normally if a woman misses
her period,
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,024
it means she's pregnant.
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,859
Pregnant?
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,069
- Oh, my God.
- [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:12:58,195 --> 00:12:59,237
Of course.
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,114
I haven't gotten
to experience a period
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,701
because one of those truckers
I slept with got me knocked up.
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,995
I'm pregnant, everybody!
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,332
Oh, boy!
Now I can have an abortion!
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:17,172
[ Squeaking, clicking ]
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,591
Gerald!
What happened to you?!
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,760
That doctor is a miracle worker,
Sheila!
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,595
I-I'm the happiest
I've ever been!
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,057
Look, Ike!
Your daddy's a dolphin!
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,644
A dolphin?!
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:34,147
Sheila, I-it was wrong of us
to be so judgmental of Kyle.
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,191
If he isn't happy
with who he is,
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,984
then who are we
to deny him surgery
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,403
that will make him feel better
about himself?
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,364
[ Squeaks, clicks ]
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,782
Gerald, this is crazy.
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,492
I used to think I was crazy.
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,077
But Dr. Biber told me
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:48,829
that there are a lot
of other people out there
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,831
who are trans-species.
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:53,708
All I did is change
my appearance
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,753
to look the way I felt here.
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:59,923
And I'm telling you now that if
we don't let Kyle do the same,
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,217
he may never be happy, ever.
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,135
We owe him more than that,
Sheila.
00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,097
We owe him understanding!
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,018
Fellas!
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,436
Hey, fellas,
you got to come see!
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,938
- What?
- It's Kyle!
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,690
He's a Negro!
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:19,860
Wow.
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,653
- I can't believe it.
- Did it hurt?
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,823
Yeah, but it was
totally worth it.
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,157
Jesus Christ, dude!
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,409
Look, Stan!
I'm finally whole!
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,661
My dad is even gonna take me
back down to the all-star game
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,288
to see if I can try out
for the team again!
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,206
Come on, Kyle!
We should get going!
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,916
All right, Dad!
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:39,170
Dude, is Kyle's dad a dolphin?
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:42,966
He's a Jewish dolphin --
a Jewphin.
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,347
You here for an abortion, too?
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,932
Yeah, I discovered
a few days ago
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,935
I wasn't bleeding out my cooze,
so I guess I'm knocked up.
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,228
Is this doctor any good?
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,064
Mrs. Garrison?
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,400
Oh, that's me.
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,529
Hello, Doctor. It looks like
I need an abortion.
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,198
An abortion?
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,700
Yeah.
I've got one growing inside me.
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:12,078
Are you gonna scramble its
brains or just vacuum it out?
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,873
If you want,
you can just scramble it,
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,958
and I'll queef it out myself.
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,670
- Mr. Garrison --
- Mrs. Garrison.
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:24,132
Mrs. Garrison,
you can't have an abortion.
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,843
Don't you tell me what I can
and can't do with my body!
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,012
A woman has a right to choose!
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:32,265
No. I mean you're physically
unable to have an abortion
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,434
because you can't get pregnant.
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,144
But I missed my period.
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,480
You can't have periods, either.
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,024
You had a sex change,
Mr. Garrison,
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,401
but you don't have ovaries
or a womb.
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,111
You don't produce eggs.
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,948
You mean...I'll never
know what it feels like
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,574
to have a baby growing inside me
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,826
and then scramble its brains
and vacuum it out?
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,078
That's right.
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,623
But I paid $5,000 to be a woman.
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,667
This would mean
I'm not really a woman.
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,295
It's -- I'm just a -- I'm just
a guy with a mutilated penis!
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,339
Basically, yes.
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,468
Oh, boy, do I feel
like a jackass.
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,682
Hey, asshole!
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,017
Excuse me. I'm performing
an operation here.
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,395
You told me you were gonna
make me into a woman!
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,772
- I gave you a sex change.
- Yeah?!
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,774
Well, what kind of woman
can't have abortions
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,818
and bleed out her snatch
once a month?!
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,987
You made me into a freak
is what you did,
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,197
and I want you
to change me back!
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,532
Am I a man yet?
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,159
Mr. Garrison,
I can't reattach your organs.
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,494
Why the hell not?!
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,705
Because I've already used
your testicles
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,581
to fashion new knees
for a little boy
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,291
who wanted to be tall and black.
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,501
You what?!
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,962
And your scrotum has been made
into a dorsal fin
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:46,172
for a man who wanted to look
more like a dolphin.
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,008
Oh, you --
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,343
You're coming with me to find
my balls and scrotum
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,595
right now, Mr. Man!
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:58,727
[ Indistinct conversations ]
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:02,022
MAN: Welcome to the all-state
basketball playoffs
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:05,108
between the best fourth-grade
players from Colorado
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,444
and the best fourth-grade
players from Wyoming.
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:08,737
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:12,323
Coach! Coach! I'm all better.
I'm ready to play!
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,783
Who are you?
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,661
I-It's me, Kyle Broflovski.
I had a negroplasty.
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,455
Can I play on
the all-state team now?
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,915
Well, you're tall
and black enough.
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,542
All right, Broflovski.
Suit up!
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,960
All right!
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,295
Dad, I can play!
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,630
All right, Kyle!
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:34,054
Excuse me. Where do you have
special seating for dolphins?
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,139
[ Vehicle approaching ]
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,433
[ Tires screech ]
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,352
Boys, have you seen Kyle?
He's not at home!
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,522
Kyle went down to play in the
basketball game, Mrs. Garrison.
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,566
He's going to play basketball?
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,610
- Oh, my God.
- What?
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,988
Well, I only made him look like
he could play basketball.
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,323
If he actually does it,
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,159
the testicles in his knees
will explode.
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,203
What?! But you made him
into a basketball player!
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,413
No, I just made him
look more like one.
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,165
We have to stop him
from playing.
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:05,168
Those testicles in his knees
are ticking time balls!
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,294
Oh, Jesus!
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,295
Come on, boys.
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,673
We've got to get to my balls
before Kyle hurts himself!
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:15,220
♪ And the home of the brave ♪
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,013
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,728
[ Whistle blows,
indistinct shouting ]
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,980
Broflovski, be ready
to take over for Owens.
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,191
I'm 100% ready, Coach!
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,991
E-Excuse me. Where -- Where is
the bathroom for dolphins?
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:39,077
We don't have one.
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,204
Well, where the hell am I
supposed to go to the bathroom?!
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,289
I-I need a large tank
with saltwater!
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,751
Uh...too bad?
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,087
Damn it, you people have to make
special arrangements
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,839
for trans-species people
like me.
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,967
I may be a dolphin,
but I'm also a lawyer!
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,969
You're a lawphin?
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,595
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,721
Tickets, please.
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,014
We don't have tickets!
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,891
Sorry, ma'am.
No tickets, no entry.
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,893
Look, there's a boy
with my balls in his knees,
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,436
and he's in serious danger!
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:06,896
What?
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,022
My scrotum!
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,858
[ Music continues ]
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,318
That dolphin has my scrotum!
Now let us in!
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,528
You can't go in, ma'am!
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,822
[ Grunts ]
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,366
We have unauthorized entry
on level 1!
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,451
[ Crowd cheering ]
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:23,079
All right, Broflovski.
You're going in next possession.
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,289
All right!
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,665
[ Clicking ]
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,667
Ow.
Hmm.
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:29,627
Gerald, where's Kyle?!
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,546
- What? Why?
- My balls are in his knees.
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,631
If he jumps with them,
they'll explode!
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:34,924
Oh, my God!
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,427
There they are,
next to that dolphin!
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,637
Come on.
We got to get to those balls!
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:40,805
[ Gunfire ]
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:41,848
Stop them!
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,184
They didn't pay
the $2 entry fee!
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,144
MAN:
Now substituting for Colorado,
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,605
number 4, Kyle Broflovski.
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,522
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,399
Oh, Jesus!
He's about to play!
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,067
[ Gunfire ]
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,986
[ Grunting ]
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,030
Mrs. Garrison, grab Kyle!
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,865
Which one is he?
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,621
Aah!
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:05,872
[ Crowd gasps ]
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,248
Hey, what the hell?
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,917
Stop the game!
[ Squeaks ]
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,335
[ Clicking ]
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,837
Aah!
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,006
[ Crowd gasps ]
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,051
I got it!
I got the ball!
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:18,968
Kyle, no!
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,970
MAN:
Broflovski goes for the dunk!
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:21,971
No!
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:24,432
[ Crowd cheering ]
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:30,063
[ Distorted ]
My balls!
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,735
Aah!
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,279
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,910
[ Screams ]
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,871
[ Siren chirps,
police radio chatter ]
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,290
So let me get this straight.
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,585
That woman over there was trying
to get to her balls,
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,712
which were in the knees
of a black child
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,756
whose father is a dolphin.
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,633
Yeah, that's basically it.
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,301
Sounds like
an open-and-shut case.
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,678
All right.
Let's head 'em out!
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:02,929
I'm sorry, Kyle.
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:06,516
I should've told you
the surgery was cosmetic only.
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:10,061
So does this mean
I'm not really a dolphin?
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,813
Let's get you two
up to the clinic,
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,607
and I'll change you back
for a nominal fee.
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,194
But what about Mr. Garrison?
He can't go back.
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,655
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,949
You know what?
I'm okay.
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,909
Even though
I'm not truly a woman,
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:27,120
I think I still like the new me.
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:30,290
I'd rather be a woman who can't
have periods than a fag.
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:33,334
Hey, guys!
This girl is staying a woman!
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,295
Who wants to pound my vag?!
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,713
Girl power!
Скриншоты
