Загрузка
00:00
/
22:06
Рождество у лесных тварей
Woodland Critter Christmas
Сезон: 08Серия: 14
Описание
Стэн помогает лесным тварям, ожидающим рождение своего спасителя, но выясняется, что служат они совсем не тому спасителю.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,135 --> 00:00:09,969 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,096 ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,307 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,559 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,728 ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,190 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,780 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,866 ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,790 <i>Way up in the mountains in a small little town...</i>
- 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,668 <i>The main street was being decorated all up and down.</i>
- 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,378 <i>People stood in long lines</i>
- 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,297 <i>Sometimes waiting hours or more...</i>
- 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:49,467 <i>Because Christmas needs to be bought in a store.</i>
- 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:52,511 <i>But out in the forest not too far away...</i>
- 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,929 <i>the little woodland critters</i>
- 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:57,349 <i>were also preparing for their Christmas day.</i>
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,143 ♪ Its almost time when the time is here ♪
- 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,644 ♪ The time that's only once a year ♪
- 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,563 ♪ We can hardly wait 'cause it's so near ♪
- 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,523 ♪ A woodland critter Christmas ♪
- 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,443 <i>The little critters worked hard as they happily sang</i>
- 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,737 <i>and each one of them had a quite interesting name.</i>
- 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,655 <i>There was Squirrelie the squirrel</i>
- 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,032 <i>Rabbitie the rabbit</i>
- 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,159 <i>Beaverie the beaver and Bearie the bear.</i>
- 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,662 <i>Porcupinie the porcupine, Skunkie the skunk</i>
- 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:22,124 <i>Foxie the fox and Deerie, the deer.</i>
- 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,794 <i>Woodpeckerie the woodpecker, Mousie the mouse</i>
- 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,921 <i>and Chickadee-ee, the chickadee</i>
- 00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,631 <i>all made the forest their house.</i>
- 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,676 <i>And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that--</i>
- 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,221 <i>was a surprised little boy...</i>
- 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,349 <i>in a red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,101 What the hell...?
- 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,729 <i>♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪</i>
- 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:48,067 <i>♪ Every critter holds it dear ♪</i>
- 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:52,071 <i>♪ Every animal big or small ♪</i>
- 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:56,826 <i>♪ Christmas means so much to us all ♪</i>
- 00:01:59,036 --> 00:01:59,954 Well, hello there!
- 00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,288 Welcome to our forest.
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165 How do you like our Christmas tree?
- 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,583 It's nice...
- 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,919 Why, it's the most perfect tree in the forest!
- 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,379 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,631 Oh, no, I see a problem!
- 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,007 What is it, Mousie?
- 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,510 Our Christmas tree doesn't have a star!
- 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,554 Awww... Awww...
- 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,682 We can't have a tree with no star on it.
- 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,641 What are we gonna do?
- 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,393 Now don't be down, ya'll.
- 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,603 Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.
- 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,480 Would you? Really?
- 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,191 Okay, okay...
- 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,234 Yea! Yea!
- 00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,655 <i>And so, using some paper and working with glee</i>
- 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,657 <i>the boy in the red poof ball hat</i>
- 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,368 <i>made a star for the tree.</i>
- 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,704 Ahhh... Ahhh...
- 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,582 It's the nicest star I ever saw!
- 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,710 <i>The little critters cheered and Beavie said with a smile...</i>
- 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,005 How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while?
- 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,175 <i>The boy in the red poof ball hat smiled and said...</i>
- 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,595 Uh... no thanks, I'm gonna go home.
- 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,014 G'bye Stannie!
- 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,765 G'bye! - See ya!
- 00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,517 Wuf...
- 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,446 Hi, Stannie! Hi, Stannie!
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072 Aw... Wha?
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,741 <i>His friends were all there!</i>
- 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,117 <i>What a wonderful surprise!</i>
- 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,953 <i>The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes!</i>
- 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,330 What time is it?
- 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,165 You aren't gonna believe what happened, Stannie.
- 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,958 It's the most magical Christmas gift ever!
- 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,127 Porcupinie is pregnant!
- 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,962 You guys, I have to go to school tomorrow.
- 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,797 I deduce the manboy doesn't understand
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,507 the seriousness of the fertilization!
- 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,301 Porcupinie is a virgin, Stannie.
- 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,345 Her conception was immaculate!
- 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,889 She's going to give birth to our lord and savior!
- 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,432 What?
- 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,059 It has been foretold unto me
- 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,602 that I would give birth on Christmas Day!
- 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,603 So soon!
- 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,562 How delightful!
- 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,939 Our souls are saved!
- 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,232 Finally, the critters are gonna have a savior
- 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:53,234 of their very own of their very own!
- 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,401 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,153 There's just one problem...
- 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,572 We don't have a manger for our savior to be born in.
- 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,574 Awww! - Awww!
- 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,993 But we got to have a manger!
- 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:03,994 Can you do it, Stan?
- 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287 Can you build us a manger, huh?
- 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,957 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,460 <i>"Of course I'll build you a manger!"</i>
- 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,586 <i>The little boy cried.</i>
- 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,837 <i>And he winked at his critter friends</i>
- 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,632 <i>and leapt to their side!</i>
- 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,302 <i>And out in the woods, the boy steamed right ahead</i>
- 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,682 <i>making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head.</i>
- 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,434 Gee wiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw!
- 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,603 I deduce that it shall serve as a perfectly suitable
- 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,605 resting place for the son of our lord!
- 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,149 Does this mean we can go to sleep now?
- 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,986 My son will have the nicest bed in all the forest!
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,487 Fit for a king!
- 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,115 This is gonna be the best critter Christmas ever!
- 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,284 ♪ It's almost time when the time is here ♪
- 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,827 ♪ The time that's only once a year-♪
- 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,453 Alright, I'm going now.
- 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,873 Aaah! - Aaah!
- 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:50,916 The mountain lion!
- 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:51,834 Hide!
- 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,548 Go away, shoo!
- 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,347 Is it gone?
- 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,932 I deduce it is!
- 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,642 I'm not c-c-coming out!
- 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,227 Well, this is the end.
- 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354 The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupinie is pregnant
- 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,148 and it's going to kill it again!
- 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,441 Again?
- 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,192 Every Christmas, the mountain lion comes down
- 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,360 and eats the virgin critter
- 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,945 impregnated with the son of our lord.
- 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,905 Oh dear, I'm so very afraid!
- 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,198 Let's face it,
- 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,368 the mountain lion will never let our savior be born!
- 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,786 Awww... - Awww...
- 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,331 Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas
- 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,582 we've got Stannie!
- 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,584 Of course, Stannie can do anything!
- 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,501 If he can build a manger,
- 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128 he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion!
- 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,671 Christmas is saved!
- 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,423 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,094 <i>High up over the forest, on a dark, craggily peak</i>
- 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,639 <i>the horrid mountain lion lived and preyed on the weak.</i>
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,974 <i>For the critters to be saved</i>
- 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,268 <i>someone had to stop that nasty old cat--</i>
- 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,395 God dammit, this is fucking ridiculous.
- 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,690 <i>--said the little boy in the red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,360 <i>Killing a mountain lion was no easy task.</i>
- 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,196 <i>But he thought of a plan... and he thought of it fast!</i>
- 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,408 Gargrgrgg... grgrgrrrgrr!
- 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,618 Come on out!
- 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,539 Come on, critter killer!
- 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,041 Your days of slaughtering innocent little animals
- 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:14,750 are over!
- 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,377 Rarghghgh!
- 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,215 Rarrrrrr!
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,806 Aah!
- 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,022 <i>In a flash it was over, a victorious blow!</i>
- 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,109 <i>The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below.</i>
- 00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,197 Okay, there.
- 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,577 Mommy... Mommy!
- 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,833 W-w-wake up, Mommy, wake up...
- 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751 Don't leave us, Mommy.
- 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,464 Man-boy... Why?
- 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,385 Why did you kill our mommy, why?
- 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,680 I... the critters...
- 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,766 They're... birth of the savior...
- 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,188 <i>The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried,</i>
- 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,900 <i>all alone in the world because their mother had died.</i>
- 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,528 Aw... awww!
- 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,451 Ooh...
- 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,536 You alright, Lady Porcupinie?
- 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621 Oh yes... Just felt a little kick is all.
- 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,373 Well, it's been much too long now.
- 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,251 I'm afraid our helpful friend Stannie must be very dead.
- 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,712 Yes, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.
- 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,921 I guess that means...
- 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,549 Our savior is gonna be made into savior stew.
- 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,384 Awww... - Awww...
- 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,094 Wait a minute, look!
- 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,973 Stannie! - Stannie!
- 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,476 Stannie, you're alive!
- 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060 But does that mean...
- 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,770 You killed the mountain lion?
- 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,564 It's dead.
- 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,232 For real and for true?
- 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,525 Are you sure?
- 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,569 I'm sure, it won't be hurting you anymore.
- 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:06,862 He did it!
- 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,114 Now our critter Christmas can finally happen!
- 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,532 Hail Satan!
- 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075 Hail Satan! - Hail Satan!
- 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,660 Wait... what?
- 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,621 You've done us a huge favor, Stannie!
- 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,080 Without the mountain lion around,
- 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,583 Lady Porcupinie can give birth to the Antichrist!
- 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,293 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,711 Wait, wait... the Antichrist?
- 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,213 You said she was giving birth to your savior!
- 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,173 Yes, to the son of our lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.
- 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966 But I thought you meant the son of God!
- 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,176 Well, think about it.
- 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,761 You really think God would have sex with a porcupine?
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:31,470 No way!
- 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,096 Only Satan, Prince of Darkness
- 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,848 and King of All Evil would do that--yea!
- 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,433 This is cause for celebration.
- 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185 Let's sacrifice Rabbitie and eat his flesh!
- 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,395 Yea, sacrifice me to the devil!
- 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,272 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,571 Aaghghgh!
- 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,490 Ahghghgh!
- 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325 Drink his blood, drink his blood!
- 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,620 Rarhrhghggh!
- 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,789 Blood orgy!
- 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,415 Yea, blood orgy!
- 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,209 Blood orgy, yea!
- 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,050 ♪ What a special time, a special day ♪
- 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,510 ♪ It's woodland critter Christmas ♪
- 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,512 Hail Satan!
- 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,015 <i>In the gentle forest clearing on Christmas Eve morn,</i>
- 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,642 <i>the little forest critters</i>
- 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144 <i>prepared for the Antichrist to be born.</i>
- 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,313 <i>The noble mountain lion</i>
- 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,482 <i>had stopped evil in all the years past,</i>
- 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,570 <i>but now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed.</i>
- 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,864 <i>And meanwhile, three lion cubs were crying away.</i>
- 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,826 <i>For them, there would certainly be no Christmas Day.</i>
- 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,913 <i>And soon the forest would suffer from the offspring Satan begat.</i>
- 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,457 <i>All this because of the little boy...</i>
- 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,876 <i>In the red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,295 Ugh...
- 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,463 <i>Now that he'd killed the noble lion queen,</i>
- 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,716 <i>there was nobody to stop the apocalypse, it seemed.</i>
- 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,551 Aghghggh!
- 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,720 <i>"I know!" he said with a new happy grin.</i>
- 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,471 <i>"I'll go back to the forest</i>
- 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,849 <i>to speak with those critters again!"</i>
- 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,559 No, no, no, no...
- 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,186 He ran out the living room, turned out the light
- 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:07,107 and went back to the forest to set everything right!
- 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,984 ♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
- 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235 ♪ Movin' on up ♪
- 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903 ♪ to the east side... ♪
- 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,907 <i>And went back to the forest to set everything right!</i>
- 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,409 ♪...In the sky ♪
- 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,786 ♪ Mov-movin' on up... ♪
- 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955 <i>He tried to forget all about it by watching TV</i>
- 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,790 <i>But his conscience caught up with him</i>
- 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,626 <i>and to the forest he did flee!</i>
- 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,419 ♪ Piece of the pie... ♪
- 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,672 <i>He thought he could hide from his problems, not true!</i>
- 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,758 <i>He knew in his heart the thing he had to do!</i>
- 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,593 Leave me alone!
- 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,012 <i>He knew that only by going to the forest could he--</i>
- 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,388 Oh, alright, alright, alright!
- 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,973 God!
- 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,519 Hey, look everyone!
- 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,188 It's our ol' pal, Stannie!
- 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,066 Oh boy, Stannie, you came just in time!
- 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,568 Yeah, we've got a big problem!
- 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,070 The great Satan has commanded
- 00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,196 that when the Antichrist is born,
- 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,657 we must find a human host body to transfer it into.
- 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,283 That way it can take over the whole world!
- 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,409 The whole world!
- 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,535 The human must be non-baptized
- 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,704 and heathenistic against Christ!
- 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,998 We figured you'd be perfect!
- 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:05,999 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,125 I'm not a heathen!
- 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,503 I was baptized and my family's Christian!
- 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,337 Awww...! - Awww...!
- 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,008 But we got to have a human host body for the Antichrist.
- 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,720 Oh, dear, maybe we won't have a critter Christmas after all.
- 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,097 Now don't be down, y'all.
- 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,391 Stannie can help us find a non-baptized heathen human.
- 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,517 Will ya really, Stannie?
- 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:24,351 No!
- 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,227 I'm not doing you any more favors
- 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,521 and I'm not letting you give birth to the Antichrist!
- 00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,189 I came here to put a stop to all this!
- 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,482 To stop us?
- 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,777 But gee wiz, Stan, if you tried to stop us
- 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,988 we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on you.
- 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,240 Right, whatever.
- 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,741 I'm taking down the manger I built.
- 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,664 Agh... Aghghh!
- 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875 Ahghgh!
- 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,837 Aahghgh!
- 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,964 Aahghgh!
- 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, boy!
- 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,426 Our satanic powers sure did the trick!
- 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,760 Our powers get stronger every day!
- 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,011 Get stronger every day!
- 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,596 Sorry, Stannie, but you see,
- 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,223 nothin' can stop the birth of the Antichrist...
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,224 Except for a mountain lion.
- 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,809 And you got rid a her!
- 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:06,977 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,646 <i>The boy shook with anger he broke a sweat and felt ill!</i>
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:10,981 <i>When he remembered,</i>
- 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,444 <i>there were three mountain lion cubs still alive on the hill!</i>
- 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,737 Oh, yeah.
- 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,325 Hello?
- 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,078 Anybody in there?
- 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,373 Oh, no, it's the man-boy who killed Mommy!
- 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,833 He's come to kill us now!
- 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,544 It's okay, I died inside when Mommy was killed anyways.
- 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,921 Yeah, better this than the slow death
- 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,132 we'd face without a mother around.
- 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:38,842 Look, I'm sorry I killed your mom.
- 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,635 The squirrel told me she was evil.
- 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,763 You got tricked by a squirrel?
- 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,265 Gee, you're not too smart, are ya mister?
- 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,894 I'm trying to make this alright again,
- 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,645 but the only thing that can stop devil-worshipping critters
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772 is a mountain lion.
- 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,607 Yeah, and you killed her.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,567 Well, you're mountain lions.
- 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,985 Us? Nawww, we're just kids.
- 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,320 We still have our baby teeth.
- 00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,905 And baby claws.
- 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,907 And a dead mom.
- 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,743 There still has to be a way for you
- 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,786 to kill the porcupine's baby.
- 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,331 What? You mean like an abortion?
- 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,000 Yeah, an abortion! That could work!
- 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045 But... We don't know how to give abortions.
- 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,339 Do you know someplace we can learn, mister?
- 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,467 <i>"Where can they learn that," the boy said with a frown.</i>
- 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,678 <i>"I know, the abortion clinic just outside of town!"</i>
- 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138 What?
- 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432 <i>So he picked up the cubs and down the mountain he stormed,</i>
- 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,810 <i>and took them to where abortions are performed!</i>
- 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852 No, he didn't.
- 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,145 <i>Yes, he did.</i>
- 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,730 No, he didn't!
- 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,232 <i>Yes, he did.</i>
- 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,942 No, he didn't!
- 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,902 <i>Yes, he... did!</i>
- 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,612 Aw, God damn it!
- 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,614 <i>... said the boy in the red poofball hat!</i>
- 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158 <i>We've made it already, little cubs, fancy that!</i>
- 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,328 Excuse me, what are you doing here?
- 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372 <i>... The abortion doctor inquired.</i>
- 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,124 If you wanna be in the O.R., a pass is required!
- 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,001 I don't know, I'm supposed to show these mountain lions
- 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,128 how abortions are performed or something.
- 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,463 I know, it's ridiculous.
- 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049 Well, you're in luck, I'm happy to inform.
- 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,342 Its only three days until Christmas
- 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,803 so I have lots of abortions to perform!
- 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180 Gather round my table cute little lions,
- 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,891 I'll teach you to do abortions without even tryin'!
- 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,476 <i>And so the little boy and the cubs</i>
- 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,978 <i>gathered 'round the chair base</i>
- 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,481 <i>and all day watched abortion after abortion take place.</i>
- 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,945 <i>♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪</i>
- 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,449 <i>♪ Every creature holds it dear ♪</i>
- 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,704 <i>♪ Every animal big or small ♪</i>
- 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,332 <i>♪ Christmas means so much to us all ♪</i>
- 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,753 <i>♪ It's once a year, it's Christmas time ♪</i>
- 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,965 <i>♪ And it happens once a year ♪</i>
- 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,927 <i>♪ It's once a year at Christmas time ♪</i>
- 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,973 <i>♪ When we hear about how Christmas only comes ♪</i>
- 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,058 <i>♪ Once a year... ♪</i>
- 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226 This better have a point, dude.
- 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,519 This really better have a point.
- 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479 ♪ It's almost time when the time is here ♪
- 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,315 ♪ The time that's only once a year-♪
- 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,442 Oh, look...
- 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,652 That little feller is all alone!
- 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,946 Gee, he looks sad.
- 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,700 Hi there!
- 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,619 What the hell...?
- 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,622 How come you're all alone on Christmas eve?
- 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,916 My... family doesn't celebrate Christmas.
- 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,001 Awww, but why?
- 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086 Well, because we don't really...
- 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,421 Believe in Jesus.
- 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,465 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:27,302 But does that mean... you aren't baptized?
- 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,887 No, I'm Jewish.
- 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,889 Yea, yea! - Yea, yea!
- 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,600 You got to come with us!
- 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,435 You're perfect, just p-p-perfect!
- 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,269 Huh?
- 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,729 Yea! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,150 ♪ What a special time and special day ♪
- 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,860 ♪ It's woodland critter Christmas ♪
- 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,820 Hail Satan!
- 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,614 <i>'Twas the night before Christmas</i>
- 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,283 <i>and above the woods way up high,</i>
- 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,286 <i>a new bright shiny star hung in the sky...</i>
- 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,247 <i>For the world to be saved there was only one shot,</i>
- 00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,086 <i>a little boy with three cubs with an abortion plot.</i>
- 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,087 Okay, come on, the critters are over this way.
- 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,838 You mountain lions ready to stop the Antichrist
- 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,006 from being born?
- 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,008 Sure, we know how to give abortions now!
- 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,260 <i>He arrived at the critter forest ready to fight</i>
- 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:13,348 <i>but then gasped when he saw a most dreadful sight--</i>
- 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,645 Gosh, we did it!
- 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,230 The critter Antichrist is born.
- 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,065 Bringing a thousand years of darkness to the forest.
- 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,485 Grgglglgl!
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,656 <i>The Antichrist had been born, sealing the world's fate.</i>
- 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,408 <i>The boy in the red poof ball hat...</i>
- 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,702 <i>was too late.</i>
- 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,577 Too late?
- 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:35,912 What the hell is that?
- 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,747 Oh, hi-ya, Stannie!
- 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:38,999 Stan!
- 00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,208 Stan what the hell is going on?!
- 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,711 It's critter Christmas dude, it sucks ass!
- 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,131 Now all we got to do is put the Antichrist into our human host!
- 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,841 Yeah! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,384 That's it?
- 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,137 10,000 years of darkness and I don't have a Merry Christmas?
- 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,430 <i>When up the sky,</i>
- 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,473 <i>the sound of sleigh bells were heard!</i>
- 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,852 <i>And a jolly red sleigh flew down to earth like a bird!</i>
- 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,271 Hey, look! Its Santie Claus!
- 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,397 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,399 Let's eat his flesh!
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,654 Alright, what the hell is going on?
- 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,657 Why is there a red star glowing in the sky?
- 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,409 We finally did it, Santa!
- 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,994 We brought forth the Antichrist with help
- 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,370 from our good friend Stannie!
- 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,622 Death and pain await all living things!
- 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,459 Little boy, you should be ashamed!
- 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,128 I didn't mean to help them, I tried to stop them!
- 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,629 Well, good going, stupid!
- 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,341 There's only one way to stop devil-worshiping critters!
- 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,012 Aaaghgh! - Aaaghgh!
- 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,724 Dude, what the...?
- 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,605 Come on, dude.
- 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,612 Gee wiz, Santa, you're not gonna kill me are y--
- 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,784 But Santa, what do we do about the Antichrist?
- 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,496 Don't worry, boys, the Antichrist cannot survive
- 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,123 without a human host body to go into.
- 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,376 No... no, I want to have the Antichrist inside me!
- 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,294 What... Kyle!
- 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,046 With his power,
- 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,173 I can finally make the earth a better place for the Jews!
- 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,092 Don't do it, Kyle!
- 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,554 Aarrhghgh!
- 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,473 Dude!
- 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,141 Yes... yes!
- 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,268 Now the Jews shall take control of Christmas
- 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,062 once and for all... Ahahahaahaa!
- 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,647 Oh, stop it, Cartman!
- 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,731 Just stop it!
- 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:27,690 That's enough!
- 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,984 You aren't reading another sentence of your stupid story!
- 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,071 I don't believe anyone interrupted you
- 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,697 when you read your Christmas story aloud, Kyle.
- 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,449 This whole time your stupid story was just a way
- 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,285 to rip on me for being Jewish at Christmas again!
- 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,829 Mr. Garrison could you do something, please?
- 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789 Sorry Eric, but if Kyle feels discriminated against
- 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:46,042 you'll have to stop or else I'll get a call from his mother.
- 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,044 Alright, fine, forget it!
- 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,714 Well, but... But what happened?
- 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,175 Yeah, did Kyle bring 1,000 years of darkness or not?
- 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,635 What happens to the lion cubs?
- 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,178 Well, I guess we'll never know
- 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,972 because Kyle doesn't wanna hear how it ends.
- 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,223 No, it all worked out, right?
- 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,808 The world was saved and I went home for Christmas dinner.
- 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,601 Dude, why do you care?!
- 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,395 After all that I at least wanna know
- 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272 if I had a Merry Christmas or if darkness rules the earth.
- 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,149 Oh, come on! It's obvious what happens.
- 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,026 I get killed by Santa Claus so that Christmas is saved!
- 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,862 That's not at all what happens.
- 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,780 Aw, come on, let him read us the end!
- 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,157 Yeah, yeah, come on...
- 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,158 Yeah! Let him do it!
- 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,118 Alright, fine!
- 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,294 A-a-ahem...
- 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,671 "Oh, dear, my best friend is possessed, how about that!"
- 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,174 said the little boy in the red poof ball hat..."
- 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,384 Ha ha haaa!
- 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,137 Now I shall rule the-- ughh... aahghgh...
- 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,638 God it burns!
- 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,849 Aahhhh... my soul is on fire!
- 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,226 Ohhh, I don't like this.
- 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,271 I didn't know it would feel so... dark and evil!
- 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,189 Well what did you expect, dude?
- 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,523 It's the son of the devil.
- 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,317 Oh God, what have I done?
- 00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,902 I'm sorry, please...
- 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,361 I don't wanna be the vessel for the Antichrist!
- 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,822 I'm sorry but it's too late, Kyle.
- 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,824 Santa's gonna have to kill you.
- 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,367 No, Santa don't!
- 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,828 We don't have a choice, in a few hours
- 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,915 the dark creature inside him will consume his soul!
- 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,792 <i>The little boy fretted, he almost started to bawl...</i>
- 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,088 <i>But that's when he came up with the best idea of all.</i>
- 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,715 The lion cubs!
- 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,675 ...The little boy quickly begun...
- 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,385 I took them to see how abortions are done!
- 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:20,887 What?
- 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,431 Now, cubs do like they showed you, hurry up fast
- 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,934 get the Antichrist of my friend Kyle's ass!
- 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,229 <i>And in the twinkling starlight</i>
- 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,897 <i>each little cub did their portion.</i>
- 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,941 <i>They remembered all they had learned</i>
- 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,984 <i>and gave Kyle an abortion.</i>
- 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,611 Aarhghgh...!
- 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,488 gagahrhgrh...!
- 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,031 Kill, destroy!
- 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:40,782 Ghghrhrhg!
- 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,951 Kill, destroy!
- 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,287 Gagahrhgrh--
- 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500 Thanks, everybody.
- 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,085 I'm sorry I got a little crazy there.
- 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,378 Well, little boy,
- 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,546 it seems that you have really been through a lot.
- 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,758 Is there any special present you would like this year?
- 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,219 Yeah... yeah there is.
- 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,895 What... oh my, what happened?
- 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,105 Mommy?
- 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,523 Yea! - You're back!
- 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:14,983 We missed you Mommy!
- 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,651 Oh, good.
- 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,403 <i>And back home, there were presents</i>
- 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,780 <i>and lots of food to get fat</i>
- 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,782 <i>and it was the best Christmas ever</i>
- 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,703 <i>for the boy in the red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:30,164 <i>And they all lived happily ever after.</i>
- 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,668 <i>Except for Kyle who died of AIDS two weeks later.</i>
- 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,963 God damn it Cartman!
- 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,632 ♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪
- 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:44,095 ♪ Every creature holds it dear ♪
- 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099 ♪ Every animal big or small ♪
- 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,644 ♪ Christmas means the world to us all ♪
- 00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:55,773 ♪ It's once a year, it's Christmas time ♪
- 00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:59,986 ♪ When we hear about how Christmas only comes ♪
- 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,280 ♪ once a year ♪
- 00:00:09,135 --> 00:00:09,969 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,096 ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,307 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,559 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,728 ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,190 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:28,696 ♪ [muffled] ♪
- 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,780 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,866 ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,790 <i>Way up in the mountains in a small little town...</i>
- 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,668 <i>The main street was being decorated all up and down.</i>
- 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,378 <i>People stood in long lines</i>
- 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,297 <i>Sometimes waiting hours or more...</i>
- 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:49,467 <i>Because Christmas needs to be bought in a store.</i>
- 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:52,511 <i>But out in the forest not too far away...</i>
- 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,929 <i>the little woodland critters</i>
- 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:57,349 <i>were also preparing for their Christmas day.</i>
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,143 ♪ Its almost time when the time is here ♪
- 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,644 ♪ The time that's only once a year ♪
- 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,563 ♪ We can hardly wait 'cause it's so near ♪
- 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,523 ♪ A woodland critter Christmas ♪
- 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,443 <i>The little critters worked hard as they happily sang</i>
- 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,737 <i>and each one of them had a quite interesting name.</i>
- 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,655 <i>There was Squirrelie the squirrel</i>
- 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,032 <i>Rabbitie the rabbit</i>
- 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,159 <i>Beaverie the beaver and Bearie the bear.</i>
- 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,662 <i>Porcupinie the porcupine, Skunkie the skunk</i>
- 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:22,124 <i>Foxie the fox and Deerie, the deer.</i>
- 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,794 <i>Woodpeckerie the woodpecker, Mousie the mouse</i>
- 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,921 <i>and Chickadee-ee, the chickadee</i>
- 00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,631 <i>all made the forest their house.</i>
- 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,676 <i>And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that--</i>
- 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,221 <i>was a surprised little boy...</i>
- 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,349 <i>in a red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,101 What the hell...?
- 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,729 <i>♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪</i>
- 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:48,067 <i>♪ Every critter holds it dear ♪</i>
- 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:52,071 <i>♪ Every animal big or small ♪</i>
- 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:56,826 <i>♪ Christmas means so much to us all ♪</i>
- 00:01:59,036 --> 00:01:59,954 Well, hello there!
- 00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,288 Welcome to our forest.
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165 How do you like our Christmas tree?
- 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,583 It's nice...
- 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,919 Why, it's the most perfect tree in the forest!
- 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,379 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,631 Oh, no, I see a problem!
- 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,007 What is it, Mousie?
- 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,510 Our Christmas tree doesn't have a star!
- 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,554 Awww... Awww...
- 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,682 We can't have a tree with no star on it.
- 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,641 What are we gonna do?
- 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,393 Now don't be down, ya'll.
- 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,603 Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.
- 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,480 Would you? Really?
- 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,191 Okay, okay...
- 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,234 Yea! Yea!
- 00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,655 <i>And so, using some paper and working with glee</i>
- 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,657 <i>the boy in the red poof ball hat</i>
- 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,368 <i>made a star for the tree.</i>
- 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,704 Ahhh... Ahhh...
- 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,582 It's the nicest star I ever saw!
- 00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,710 <i>The little critters cheered and Beavie said with a smile...</i>
- 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,005 How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while?
- 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,175 <i>The boy in the red poof ball hat smiled and said...</i>
- 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,595 Uh... no thanks, I'm gonna go home.
- 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,014 G'bye Stannie!
- 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,765 G'bye! - See ya!
- 00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,517 Wuf...
- 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,446 Hi, Stannie! Hi, Stannie!
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072 Aw... Wha?
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,741 <i>His friends were all there!</i>
- 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,117 <i>What a wonderful surprise!</i>
- 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,953 <i>The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes!</i>
- 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,330 What time is it?
- 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,165 You aren't gonna believe what happened, Stannie.
- 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,958 It's the most magical Christmas gift ever!
- 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,127 Porcupinie is pregnant!
- 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,962 You guys, I have to go to school tomorrow.
- 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,797 I deduce the manboy doesn't understand
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,507 the seriousness of the fertilization!
- 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,301 Porcupinie is a virgin, Stannie.
- 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,345 Her conception was immaculate!
- 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,889 She's going to give birth to our lord and savior!
- 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,432 What?
- 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,059 It has been foretold unto me
- 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,602 that I would give birth on Christmas Day!
- 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,603 So soon!
- 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,562 How delightful!
- 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,939 Our souls are saved!
- 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,232 Finally, the critters are gonna have a savior
- 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:53,234 of their very own of their very own!
- 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,401 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,153 There's just one problem...
- 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,572 We don't have a manger for our savior to be born in.
- 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,574 Awww! - Awww!
- 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,993 But we got to have a manger!
- 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:03,994 Can you do it, Stan?
- 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287 Can you build us a manger, huh?
- 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,957 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,460 <i>"Of course I'll build you a manger!"</i>
- 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,586 <i>The little boy cried.</i>
- 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,837 <i>And he winked at his critter friends</i>
- 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,632 <i>and leapt to their side!</i>
- 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,302 <i>And out in the woods, the boy steamed right ahead</i>
- 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,682 <i>making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head.</i>
- 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,434 Gee wiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw!
- 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,603 I deduce that it shall serve as a perfectly suitable
- 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,605 resting place for the son of our lord!
- 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,149 Does this mean we can go to sleep now?
- 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,986 My son will have the nicest bed in all the forest!
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,487 Fit for a king!
- 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,115 This is gonna be the best critter Christmas ever!
- 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,284 ♪ It's almost time when the time is here ♪
- 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,827 ♪ The time that's only once a year-♪
- 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,453 Alright, I'm going now.
- 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:47,538 [growl]
- 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,873 Aaah! - Aaah!
- 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:50,916 The mountain lion!
- 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:51,834 Hide!
- 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,548 Go away, shoo!
- 00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:00,009 [growl]
- 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,347 Is it gone?
- 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,932 I deduce it is!
- 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,642 I'm not c-c-coming out!
- 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,227 Well, this is the end.
- 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354 The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupinie is pregnant
- 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,148 and it's going to kill it again!
- 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,441 Again?
- 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,192 Every Christmas, the mountain lion comes down
- 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,360 and eats the virgin critter
- 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,945 impregnated with the son of our lord.
- 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,905 Oh dear, I'm so very afraid!
- 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,198 Let's face it,
- 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,368 the mountain lion will never let our savior be born!
- 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,786 Awww... - Awww...
- 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,331 Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas
- 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,582 we've got Stannie!
- 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,584 Of course, Stannie can do anything!
- 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,501 If he can build a manger,
- 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128 he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion!
- 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,671 Christmas is saved!
- 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,423 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,094 <i>High up over the forest, on a dark, craggily peak</i>
- 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,639 <i>the horrid mountain lion lived and preyed on the weak.</i>
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,974 <i>For the critters to be saved</i>
- 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,268 <i>someone had to stop that nasty old cat--</i>
- 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,395 God dammit, this is fucking ridiculous.
- 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,690 <i>--said the little boy in the red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,360 <i>Killing a mountain lion was no easy task.</i>
- 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,196 <i>But he thought of a plan... and he thought of it fast!</i>
- 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,408 Gargrgrgg... grgrgrrrgrr!
- 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,618 Come on out!
- 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,870 [growl]
- 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,539 Come on, critter killer!
- 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,041 Your days of slaughtering innocent little animals
- 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:14,750 are over!
- 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,377 Rarghghgh!
- 00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,045 [growl]
- 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,215 Rarrrrrr!
- 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,133 [growl]
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,806 Aah!
- 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,022 <i>In a flash it was over, a victorious blow!</i>
- 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,109 <i>The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below.</i>
- 00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,197 Okay, there.
- 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,577 Mommy... Mommy!
- 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,833 W-w-wake up, Mommy, wake up...
- 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751 Don't leave us, Mommy.
- 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,464 Man-boy... Why?
- 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,385 Why did you kill our mommy, why?
- 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,680 I... the critters...
- 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,766 They're... birth of the savior...
- 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,188 <i>The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried,</i>
- 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,900 <i>all alone in the world because their mother had died.</i>
- 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,528 Aw... awww!
- 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,451 Ooh...
- 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,536 You alright, Lady Porcupinie?
- 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621 Oh yes... Just felt a little kick is all.
- 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,373 Well, it's been much too long now.
- 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,251 I'm afraid our helpful friend Stannie must be very dead.
- 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,712 Yes, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.
- 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,921 I guess that means...
- 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,549 Our savior is gonna be made into savior stew.
- 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,384 Awww... - Awww...
- 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,094 Wait a minute, look!
- 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,973 Stannie! - Stannie!
- 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,476 Stannie, you're alive!
- 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060 But does that mean...
- 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,770 You killed the mountain lion?
- 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,564 It's dead.
- 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,232 For real and for true?
- 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,525 Are you sure?
- 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,569 I'm sure, it won't be hurting you anymore.
- 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:06,862 He did it!
- 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,114 Now our critter Christmas can finally happen!
- 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,532 Hail Satan!
- 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075 Hail Satan! - Hail Satan!
- 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,660 Wait... what?
- 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,621 You've done us a huge favor, Stannie!
- 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,080 Without the mountain lion around,
- 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,583 Lady Porcupinie can give birth to the Antichrist!
- 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,293 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,711 Wait, wait... the Antichrist?
- 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,213 You said she was giving birth to your savior!
- 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,173 Yes, to the son of our lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.
- 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966 But I thought you meant the son of God!
- 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,176 Well, think about it.
- 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,761 You really think God would have sex with a porcupine?
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:31,470 No way!
- 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,096 Only Satan, Prince of Darkness
- 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,848 and King of All Evil would do that--yea!
- 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,433 This is cause for celebration.
- 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185 Let's sacrifice Rabbitie and eat his flesh!
- 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,395 Yea, sacrifice me to the devil!
- 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,272 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,571 Aaghghgh!
- 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,490 Ahghghgh!
- 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325 Drink his blood, drink his blood!
- 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,620 Rarhrhghggh!
- 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,789 Blood orgy!
- 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,415 Yea, blood orgy!
- 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,209 Blood orgy, yea!
- 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,050 ♪ What a special time, a special day ♪
- 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,510 ♪ It's woodland critter Christmas ♪
- 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,512 Hail Satan!
- 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,015 <i>In the gentle forest clearing on Christmas Eve morn,</i>
- 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,642 <i>the little forest critters</i>
- 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144 <i>prepared for the Antichrist to be born.</i>
- 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,313 <i>The noble mountain lion</i>
- 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,482 <i>had stopped evil in all the years past,</i>
- 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,570 <i>but now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed.</i>
- 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,864 <i>And meanwhile, three lion cubs were crying away.</i>
- 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,826 <i>For them, there would certainly be no Christmas Day.</i>
- 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,913 <i>And soon the forest would suffer from the offspring Satan begat.</i>
- 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,457 <i>All this because of the little boy...</i>
- 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,876 <i>In the red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,295 Ugh...
- 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,463 <i>Now that he'd killed the noble lion queen,</i>
- 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,716 <i>there was nobody to stop the apocalypse, it seemed.</i>
- 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,551 Aghghggh!
- 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,720 <i>"I know!" he said with a new happy grin.</i>
- 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,471 <i>"I'll go back to the forest</i>
- 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,849 <i>to speak with those critters again!"</i>
- 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,559 No, no, no, no...
- 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,186 He ran out the living room, turned out the light
- 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:07,107 and went back to the forest to set everything right!
- 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,984 ♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
- 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235 ♪ Movin' on up ♪
- 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903 ♪ to the east side... ♪
- 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,907 <i>And went back to the forest to set everything right!</i>
- 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,409 ♪...In the sky ♪
- 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,786 ♪ Mov-movin' on up... ♪
- 00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955 <i>He tried to forget all about it by watching TV</i>
- 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,790 <i>But his conscience caught up with him</i>
- 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,626 <i>and to the forest he did flee!</i>
- 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,419 ♪ Piece of the pie... ♪
- 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,672 <i>He thought he could hide from his problems, not true!</i>
- 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,758 <i>He knew in his heart the thing he had to do!</i>
- 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,593 Leave me alone!
- 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,012 <i>He knew that only by going to the forest could he--</i>
- 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,388 Oh, alright, alright, alright!
- 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,973 God!
- 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,519 Hey, look everyone!
- 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,188 It's our ol' pal, Stannie!
- 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,066 Oh boy, Stannie, you came just in time!
- 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,568 Yeah, we've got a big problem!
- 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,070 The great Satan has commanded
- 00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,196 that when the Antichrist is born,
- 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,657 we must find a human host body to transfer it into.
- 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,283 That way it can take over the whole world!
- 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,409 The whole world!
- 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,535 The human must be non-baptized
- 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,704 and heathenistic against Christ!
- 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,998 We figured you'd be perfect!
- 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:05,999 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,125 I'm not a heathen!
- 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,503 I was baptized and my family's Christian!
- 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,337 Awww...! - Awww...!
- 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,008 But we got to have a human host body for the Antichrist.
- 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,720 Oh, dear, maybe we won't have a critter Christmas after all.
- 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,097 Now don't be down, y'all.
- 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,391 Stannie can help us find a non-baptized heathen human.
- 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,517 Will ya really, Stannie?
- 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:24,351 No!
- 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,227 I'm not doing you any more favors
- 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,521 and I'm not letting you give birth to the Antichrist!
- 00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,189 I came here to put a stop to all this!
- 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,482 To stop us?
- 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,777 But gee wiz, Stan, if you tried to stop us
- 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,988 we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on you.
- 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,240 Right, whatever.
- 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,741 I'm taking down the manger I built.
- 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,664 Agh... Aghghh!
- 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875 Ahghgh!
- 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,837 Aahghgh!
- 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,964 Aahghgh!
- 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, boy!
- 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,426 Our satanic powers sure did the trick!
- 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,760 Our powers get stronger every day!
- 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,011 Get stronger every day!
- 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,596 Sorry, Stannie, but you see,
- 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,223 nothin' can stop the birth of the Antichrist...
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,224 Except for a mountain lion.
- 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,809 And you got rid a her!
- 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:06,977 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,646 <i>The boy shook with anger he broke a sweat and felt ill!</i>
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:10,981 <i>When he remembered,</i>
- 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,444 <i>there were three mountain lion cubs still alive on the hill!</i>
- 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,737 Oh, yeah.
- 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,325 Hello?
- 00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,078 Anybody in there?
- 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,373 Oh, no, it's the man-boy who killed Mommy!
- 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,833 He's come to kill us now!
- 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,544 It's okay, I died inside when Mommy was killed anyways.
- 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,921 Yeah, better this than the slow death
- 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,132 we'd face without a mother around.
- 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:38,842 Look, I'm sorry I killed your mom.
- 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,635 The squirrel told me she was evil.
- 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,763 You got tricked by a squirrel?
- 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,265 Gee, you're not too smart, are ya mister?
- 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,894 I'm trying to make this alright again,
- 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,645 but the only thing that can stop devil-worshipping critters
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772 is a mountain lion.
- 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,607 Yeah, and you killed her.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,567 Well, you're mountain lions.
- 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,985 Us? Nawww, we're just kids.
- 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,320 We still have our baby teeth.
- 00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,905 And baby claws.
- 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,907 And a dead mom.
- 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,743 There still has to be a way for you
- 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,786 to kill the porcupine's baby.
- 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,331 What? You mean like an abortion?
- 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,000 Yeah, an abortion! That could work!
- 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045 But... We don't know how to give abortions.
- 00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,339 Do you know someplace we can learn, mister?
- 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,467 <i>"Where can they learn that," the boy said with a frown.</i>
- 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,678 <i>"I know, the abortion clinic just outside of town!"</i>
- 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138 What?
- 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432 <i>So he picked up the cubs and down the mountain he stormed,</i>
- 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,810 <i>and took them to where abortions are performed!</i>
- 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852 No, he didn't.
- 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,145 <i>Yes, he did.</i>
- 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,730 No, he didn't!
- 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,232 <i>Yes, he did.</i>
- 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,942 No, he didn't!
- 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,902 <i>Yes, he... did!</i>
- 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,612 Aw, God damn it!
- 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,614 <i>... said the boy in the red poofball hat!</i>
- 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158 <i>We've made it already, little cubs, fancy that!</i>
- 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,328 Excuse me, what are you doing here?
- 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372 <i>... The abortion doctor inquired.</i>
- 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,124 If you wanna be in the O.R., a pass is required!
- 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,001 I don't know, I'm supposed to show these mountain lions
- 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,128 how abortions are performed or something.
- 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,463 I know, it's ridiculous.
- 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049 Well, you're in luck, I'm happy to inform.
- 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,342 Its only three days until Christmas
- 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,803 so I have lots of abortions to perform!
- 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180 Gather round my table cute little lions,
- 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,891 I'll teach you to do abortions without even tryin'!
- 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,476 <i>And so the little boy and the cubs</i>
- 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,978 <i>gathered 'round the chair base</i>
- 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,481 <i>and all day watched abortion after abortion take place.</i>
- 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,945 <i>♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪</i>
- 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,449 <i>♪ Every creature holds it dear ♪</i>
- 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,704 <i>♪ Every animal big or small ♪</i>
- 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,332 <i>♪ Christmas means so much to us all ♪</i>
- 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,753 <i>♪ It's once a year, it's Christmas time ♪</i>
- 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,965 <i>♪ And it happens once a year ♪</i>
- 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,927 <i>♪ It's once a year at Christmas time ♪</i>
- 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,973 <i>♪ When we hear about how Christmas only comes ♪</i>
- 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,058 <i>♪ Once a year... ♪</i>
- 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226 This better have a point, dude.
- 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,519 This really better have a point.
- 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479 ♪ It's almost time when the time is here ♪
- 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,315 ♪ The time that's only once a year-♪
- 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,442 Oh, look...
- 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,652 That little feller is all alone!
- 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,946 Gee, he looks sad.
- 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,700 Hi there!
- 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,619 What the hell...?
- 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,622 How come you're all alone on Christmas eve?
- 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,916 My... family doesn't celebrate Christmas.
- 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,001 Awww, but why?
- 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086 Well, because we don't really...
- 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,421 Believe in Jesus.
- 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,465 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:27,302 But does that mean... you aren't baptized?
- 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,887 No, I'm Jewish.
- 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,889 Yea, yea! - Yea, yea!
- 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,600 You got to come with us!
- 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,435 You're perfect, just p-p-perfect!
- 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,269 Huh?
- 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,729 Yea! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,150 ♪ What a special time and special day ♪
- 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,860 ♪ It's woodland critter Christmas ♪
- 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,820 Hail Satan!
- 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,614 <i>'Twas the night before Christmas</i>
- 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,283 <i>and above the woods way up high,</i>
- 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,286 <i>a new bright shiny star hung in the sky...</i>
- 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,247 <i>For the world to be saved there was only one shot,</i>
- 00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,086 <i>a little boy with three cubs with an abortion plot.</i>
- 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,087 Okay, come on, the critters are over this way.
- 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,838 You mountain lions ready to stop the Antichrist
- 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,006 from being born?
- 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,008 Sure, we know how to give abortions now!
- 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,260 <i>He arrived at the critter forest ready to fight</i>
- 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:13,348 <i>but then gasped when he saw a most dreadful sight--</i>
- 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,645 Gosh, we did it!
- 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,230 The critter Antichrist is born.
- 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,065 Bringing a thousand years of darkness to the forest.
- 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,485 Grgglglgl!
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,656 <i>The Antichrist had been born, sealing the world's fate.</i>
- 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,408 <i>The boy in the red poof ball hat...</i>
- 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,702 <i>was too late.</i>
- 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,577 Too late?
- 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:35,912 What the hell is that?
- 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,747 Oh, hi-ya, Stannie!
- 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:38,999 Stan!
- 00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,208 Stan what the hell is going on?!
- 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,711 It's critter Christmas dude, it sucks ass!
- 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,131 Now all we got to do is put the Antichrist into our human host!
- 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,841 Yeah! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,384 That's it?
- 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,137 10,000 years of darkness and I don't have a Merry Christmas?
- 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,430 <i>When up the sky,</i>
- 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,473 <i>the sound of sleigh bells were heard!</i>
- 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,852 <i>And a jolly red sleigh flew down to earth like a bird!</i>
- 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,271 Hey, look! Its Santie Claus!
- 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,397 Yea! - Yea!
- 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,399 Let's eat his flesh!
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,654 Alright, what the hell is going on?
- 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,657 Why is there a red star glowing in the sky?
- 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,409 We finally did it, Santa!
- 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,994 We brought forth the Antichrist with help
- 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,370 from our good friend Stannie!
- 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,622 Death and pain await all living things!
- 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,459 Little boy, you should be ashamed!
- 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,128 I didn't mean to help them, I tried to stop them!
- 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,629 Well, good going, stupid!
- 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,341 There's only one way to stop devil-worshiping critters!
- 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,012 Aaaghgh! - Aaaghgh!
- 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,724 Dude, what the...?
- 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,605 Come on, dude.
- 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,612 Gee wiz, Santa, you're not gonna kill me are y--
- 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,784 But Santa, what do we do about the Antichrist?
- 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,496 Don't worry, boys, the Antichrist cannot survive
- 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,123 without a human host body to go into.
- 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,376 No... no, I want to have the Antichrist inside me!
- 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,294 What... Kyle!
- 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,046 With his power,
- 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,173 I can finally make the earth a better place for the Jews!
- 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,092 Don't do it, Kyle!
- 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,554 Aarrhghgh!
- 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,473 Dude!
- 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,141 Yes... yes!
- 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,268 Now the Jews shall take control of Christmas
- 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,062 once and for all... Ahahahaahaa!
- 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,647 Oh, stop it, Cartman!
- 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,731 Just stop it!
- 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:27,690 That's enough!
- 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,984 You aren't reading another sentence of your stupid story!
- 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,071 I don't believe anyone interrupted you
- 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,697 when you read your Christmas story aloud, Kyle.
- 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,449 This whole time your stupid story was just a way
- 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,285 to rip on me for being Jewish at Christmas again!
- 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,829 Mr. Garrison could you do something, please?
- 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789 Sorry Eric, but if Kyle feels discriminated against
- 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:46,042 you'll have to stop or else I'll get a call from his mother.
- 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,044 Alright, fine, forget it!
- 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,714 Well, but... But what happened?
- 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,175 Yeah, did Kyle bring 1,000 years of darkness or not?
- 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,635 What happens to the lion cubs?
- 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,178 Well, I guess we'll never know
- 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,972 because Kyle doesn't wanna hear how it ends.
- 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,223 No, it all worked out, right?
- 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,808 The world was saved and I went home for Christmas dinner.
- 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,601 Dude, why do you care?!
- 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,395 After all that I at least wanna know
- 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272 if I had a Merry Christmas or if darkness rules the earth.
- 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,149 Oh, come on! It's obvious what happens.
- 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,026 I get killed by Santa Claus so that Christmas is saved!
- 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,862 That's not at all what happens.
- 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,780 Aw, come on, let him read us the end!
- 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,157 Yeah, yeah, come on...
- 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,158 Yeah! Let him do it!
- 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,118 Alright, fine!
- 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,294 A-a-ahem...
- 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,671 "Oh, dear, my best friend is possessed, how about that!"
- 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,174 said the little boy in the red poof ball hat..."
- 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,384 Ha ha haaa!
- 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,137 Now I shall rule the-- ughh... aahghgh...
- 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,638 God it burns!
- 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,849 Aahhhh... my soul is on fire!
- 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,226 Ohhh, I don't like this.
- 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,271 I didn't know it would feel so... dark and evil!
- 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,189 Well what did you expect, dude?
- 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,523 It's the son of the devil.
- 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,317 Oh God, what have I done?
- 00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,902 I'm sorry, please...
- 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,361 I don't wanna be the vessel for the Antichrist!
- 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,822 I'm sorry but it's too late, Kyle.
- 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,824 Santa's gonna have to kill you.
- 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,367 No, Santa don't!
- 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,828 We don't have a choice, in a few hours
- 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,915 the dark creature inside him will consume his soul!
- 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,792 <i>The little boy fretted, he almost started to bawl...</i>
- 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,088 <i>But that's when he came up with the best idea of all.</i>
- 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,715 The lion cubs!
- 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,675 ...The little boy quickly begun...
- 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,385 I took them to see how abortions are done!
- 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:20,887 What?
- 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,431 Now, cubs do like they showed you, hurry up fast
- 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,934 get the Antichrist of my friend Kyle's ass!
- 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,229 <i>And in the twinkling starlight</i>
- 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,897 <i>each little cub did their portion.</i>
- 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,941 <i>They remembered all they had learned</i>
- 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,984 <i>and gave Kyle an abortion.</i>
- 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,611 Aarhghgh...!
- 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,488 gagahrhgrh...!
- 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,031 Kill, destroy!
- 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:40,782 Ghghrhrhg!
- 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,951 Kill, destroy!
- 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,287 Gagahrhgrh--
- 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500 Thanks, everybody.
- 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,085 I'm sorry I got a little crazy there.
- 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,378 Well, little boy,
- 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,546 it seems that you have really been through a lot.
- 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,758 Is there any special present you would like this year?
- 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,219 Yeah... yeah there is.
- 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,895 What... oh my, what happened?
- 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,105 Mommy?
- 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,523 Yea! - You're back!
- 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:14,983 We missed you Mommy!
- 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,651 Oh, good.
- 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,403 <i>And back home, there were presents</i>
- 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,780 <i>and lots of food to get fat</i>
- 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,782 <i>and it was the best Christmas ever</i>
- 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,703 <i>for the boy in the red poof ball hat.</i>
- 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:30,164 <i>And they all lived happily ever after.</i>
- 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,668 <i>Except for Kyle who died of AIDS two weeks later.</i>
- 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,963 [Kyle] God damn it Cartman!
- 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,632 ♪ Christmas time is once a year ♪
- 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:44,095 ♪ Every creature holds it dear ♪
- 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099 ♪ Every animal big or small ♪
- 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,644 ♪ Christmas means the world to us all ♪
- 00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:55,773 ♪ It's once a year, it's Christmas time ♪
- 00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:59,986 ♪ When we hear about how Christmas only comes ♪
- 00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,280 ♪ once a year ♪
- 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,360 Перевод Y@R / Тайминг Terrart
- 00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:39,640 Высоко в горах в небольшом городке
- 00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:42,690 Главные Улицы были украшены празднично все.
- 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,270 Подолгу Люди стоят в очередях, и все сметают с витрин
- 00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,860 Чтобы Рождество получилось, люди спешат в магазин.
- 00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:52,450 Но в лесу, не слишком далеко...
- 00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:56,620 ...Лесные твари готовились встретить их Рождество
- 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:58,870 Почти наступило то время, Наступило оно здесь,
- 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,450 И оно только один раз в году.
- 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:01,870 Мы не можем его дождаться, и все потому
- 00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,000 что это Рождество Лесных Животных!
- 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:07,090 Мелкие твари трудились также как счастливо пели
- 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,880 И все они весьма интересные имена имели
- 00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,970 Была Белочка белка, Крольченок кролик,
- 00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,430 Бобрик бобер, и Медвеженок медведь
- 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,390 Дикобразиха дикобраз, Скунсик скунс,
- 00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:21,640 Лисенок лиса, и Олененок олень
- 00:01:22,230 --> 00:01:24,520 Дятел дятел, Мышонок мышь,
- 00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:28,730 И Синичка Синица, а весь лес был их домом.
- 00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:32,650 И наткнулся на это в тот прекраснейший день
- 00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:37,780 Удивленный маленький мальчик, с красным помпоном на голове.
- 00:01:38,410 --> 00:01:39,330 Какого черта?
- 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,750 Святки всего лишь один раз в году
- 00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:47,920 Каждая тварь дорожит этим
- 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:52,090 Каждое животное, большое или маленькое
- 00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:57,090 Рождество так много для нас всех значит
- 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,600 Ну так привет. Добро пожаловать в наш лес.
- 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,020 Как тебе нравиться наша Рождественская елка?
- 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,640 Это... мило.
- 00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:07,230 Да ведь это - самое прекрасное дерево в лесу!
- 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,940 О нет, я вижу проблему.
- 00:02:11,230 --> 00:02:11,940 какую, Мышонок?
- 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,530 у Нашей елки нет звезды.
- 00:02:15,530 --> 00:02:16,610 Ах!
- 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,370 У нас не может быть елки без звезды на ней.
- 00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:20,950 Что нам делать?
- 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,500 Не грустите, Возможно наш новый друг поможет нам найти звезду.
- 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,870 О пожалуйста? Ты мог бы помочь нам?
- 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,000 Хорошо, хорошо.
- 00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:34,710 Взяв кусочек бумаги с радостью приступил к труду,
- 00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:38,390 Мальчик в красном помпоне на шляпе сделал для елки звезду
- 00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,260 Ах
- 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:44,100 Это - лучшая звезда, которую я когда-либо видел.
- 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:47,690 Лесные твари радовались, и Бобрик с улыбкой сказал
- 00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:50,980 Не хотел бы ты петь и танцевать с нами пока не устал?
- 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,110 Мальчик в красном помпоне на шляпе улыбнулся и сказал
- 00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:56,360 Мм, нет, спасибо, я собираюсь идти домой.
- 00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,320 Пока Стэнни!
- 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:02,660 До свидания, Стэнни! Пока!
- 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,260 Привет, Стэнни!
- 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:17,090 О, какого?
- 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,470 Все друзья были там! какое приятное удивление
- 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,470 Мальчик был счастлив, скажу вам без тени сомнения
- 00:03:23,810 --> 00:03:24,680 Сколько времени?
- 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:28,230 Ты не поверишь тому, что случилось, Стэнни. Это - самый большой Рождественский подарок
- 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,900 Дикобразиха беременна!
- 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,190 Вы как хотите, а я должен пойти завтра школу.
- 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,440 Она на сносях, мальчик не понимает серьезность происходящего.
- 00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:39,070 Дикобразиха - девственница, Стэнни. Ее концепция безупречна.
- 00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:41,620 Она собирается рождать нашего Бога-Спасителя.
- 00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:43,370 ...Что?
- 00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:46,540 Это было предсказано мне во сне, что я буду рожать на Рождество.
- 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:47,410 это уже скоро!
- 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:48,410 Как восхитительно!
- 00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,500 Наши души спасены!
- 00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:52,790 Наконец-то у животных будет Спаситель, их собственный,
- 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:58,470 Есть только одна проблема: У нас нет яслей в которых бы мог родиться наш Спаситель
- 00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:02,890 Но у нас должны быть ясли.
- 00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:04,970 Можете ты сделаешь это, Стэн. Ты можешь построить нам ясли? ААА
- 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,400 "хорошо, я построю вам ясли!" мальчик с улыбкой сказал,
- 00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:15,480 И примкнув к животным в лес зашагал!
- 00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,400 А в лесу мальчик с помпоном ринулся прямо вперед,
- 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:23,820 создание яслей для малыша, вот что растопило сердца лед
- 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,410 Ну дела, это самые милые ясли, которые я когда-либо видел.
- 00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:31,620 мне кажется, что это будет подходящим местом для Сына нашего Бога.
- 00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,170 Это значит, что мы можем теперь лечь спать?
- 00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:37,250 У Моего Сына будет самое хорошее ложе во всем лесу.
- 00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:38,670 В самый раз для короля!
- 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,170 Это будет лучшим Рождеством Лесных животных!
- 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:42,930 Почти наступило то время, Наступило оно здесь,
- 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,550 И оно только один раз в году.
- 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:46,220 Мы не можем его дождаться, и все потому
- 00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,220 Ну все я ухожу
- 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:51,060 горная львица! прячься!
- 00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:56,770 пошла вон!
- 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:05,280 она - Ушла?
- 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,870 Я полагаю.
- 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,620 Я не выйду.
- 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,540 все, это - конец. львица очевидно знает, что Дикобразиха беременна,
- 00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:13,960 и она собирается убить ее снова.
- 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:15,130 Снова?
- 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:19,880 Каждое Рождество львица спускается и съедает девственную тварь, в чреве которой Сын нашего Бога.
- 00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:21,880 О боже, я так боюсь.
- 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:26,260 Давайте разберемся. львица никак не дает нашему Спасителю родиться.
- 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:31,890 Эй, мы не должны быть кинуты на это Рождество. У нас есть Стэнни!
- 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:36,230 Конечно! Стэнни может сделать что-нибудь! Если он может построить ясли, он может остановить горную львицу!
- 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:37,940 Рождество спасено!
- 00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,990 Высоко в лесу на темном, скалистом холме,
- 00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:47,200 Ужасная львица охотилась на что-то слабое.
- 00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:51,200 Чтобы рождество спасти - львицу надо убить на горе
- 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,120 черт побери, как это бл*дь нелепо!
- 00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,830 Сказал маленький мальчик в красном помпоне на голове.
- 00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,500 Убить львицу не очень то просто,
- 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,590 План разработать надо очень быстро
- 00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,300 Давай Выходи!
- 00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:14,730 давай, убийца животных! Твои дни кровопролития невинных животных сочтены!
- 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:37,290 вспышка-все кончено! больше не быть беде!
- 00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,090 львица лежит убитой на холодной земле
- 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,050 Вот и все.
- 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:50,180 Мама? Мама!
- 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,850 проснись, Мама, проснись!
- 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,600 Не оставляй нас, Мама.
- 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:05,240 человеческий детеныш, почему? Почему ты убил нашу маму? Почему?
- 00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:12,580 Я...... твари. Их... рождение Спасителя?
- 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,210 котята заплакали и вжались в бездыханное тело,
- 00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:21,500 одни во всем мире остались, и душа их матери улетела
- 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,510 все хорошо, Леди Дикобразиха?
- 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,510 Ах, да, только чувствую легкие толчки внутри
- 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:39,100 Ну все, это слишком затянулось. Я боюсь, что наш полезный друг Стэнни умер.
- 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,400 Да, львица, вероятно, проглотила его целиком.
- 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:45,320 Я считаю, что это означает, что наш Спаситель станет чьим-то ужином.
- 00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:48,950 подождите, смотрите!
- 00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:52,530 Стэнни!
- 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,370 Стэнни, ты жив.
- 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:58,500 Но, это означает, что ты убил львицу?
- 00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:00,170 Она мертва.
- 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,000 по настоящему, правда?
- 00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:02,920 Ты уверен.
- 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,000 Я уверен. Это не должно беспокоить вас больше.
- 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,380 Он сделал это! Теперь Рождество животных наконец состоится! приветствуйте Сатану!
- 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:11,840 приветствуйте Сатану!
- 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,350 стоп, что за?
- 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:19,730 Ты принес нам огромную пользу, Стэнни! Без львицы в лесу, Леди Дикобразиха может родить Антихриста!
- 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:21,100 Сатана!
- 00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:23,860 что, Антихрист? вы сказали, что она родит нашего спасителя!
- 00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:26,190 Да, Сына нашего Бога, сатану,
- 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,690 Но я думал, что вы говорите о Сыне Бога!
- 00:08:28,110 --> 00:08:30,650 Хорошо, думая об этом: Ты действительно думал, что у Бога мог быть секс с дикобразом?
- 00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:33,950 да ладно! Только сатана, принц Темноты и Король всего Зла сделал бы это! да!
- 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:38,330 приступим к празднованию! Давайте принесем Крольченока в жертву и съедим его плоть!
- 00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:40,040 да! Пожертвуйте меня Дьяволу!
- 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,930 Выпей его кровь! Выпей его кровь!
- 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:58,520 Оргия крови!
- 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,640 ДА, оргия крови! Оргия крови, да!
- 00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:09,820 Какое особенное время и особенный день,
- 00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:11,360 Это - Рождество Лесных Тварей.
- 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,070 приветствуйте Сатану
- 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,620 В свежем лесу, очищенном в утре Сочельника,
- 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,540 лесные твари готовились к Антихриста дня рождения.
- 00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:25,330 Благородная львица останавливающая зло минувшие года,
- 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:29,340 теперь лежала бездыханной как хорошая спящая сова.
- 00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:32,760 И тем временем три детёныша плакали недалеко.
- 00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,720 Для них Рождество было кончено всё,
- 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,720 Спокойствие леса нарушено, слух прошел о Сатане.
- 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:44,520 Все это из-за маленького мальчика с красным помпоном на голове.
- 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:45,640 Тьфу.
- 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,230 Теперь, когда он убил благородную королеву льва,
- 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:50,820 никто не сможет остановить приближение Апокалипсиса
- 00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,780 "Я знаю!" сказал он, улыбнувшись уверенно
- 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,570 "Я вернусь в лес и исправлю последствия наделанного!"
- 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,120 нет-нет-нет.
- 00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:03,370 Он выбежал в гостиную, выключил свет,
- 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:06,040 и поспешил в лес, чтоб исправить последствие наделанных бед!
- 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,880 ...и поспешил в лес, чтоб исправить последствие наделанных бед!
- 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,100 ...Он пробовал забыться, телевизор смотря
- 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,270 но совесть догнала его, ведь в лесу же беда.
- 00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,520 ...Он думал, что мог скрыться от насущных проблем!
- 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,690 но в душе готовил план, чтоб свободней стало всем!
- 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,490 Оставь меня в покое!
- 00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:37,110 Он знал, что только пойдя в лес он мог -
- 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,120 Хорошо хорошо хорошо! Бог!
- 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:45,700 Эй, посмотрите все Это - наш старый приятель, Стэнни.
- 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,290 О парень, Ты приехал как раз вовремя!
- 00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:51,630 Да. У нас большая проблема.
- 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,420 Сатана приказал, чтобы, мы предоставили человеческое тело когда Антихрист родится, чтобы его дух переселился в него
- 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,090 И он станет властелином целого мира.
- 00:10:59,470 --> 00:11:02,560 Человек должен быть некрещеный и Языческий
- 00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:04,890 Мы решили, что ты подойдешь идеально!
- 00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,020 Да!
- 00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,980 Я не язычник! Меня крестили и моя семья - христиане!
- 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,230 Но мы должны достать человеческое тело для Антихриста.
- 00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:18,740 О дорогой, может у нас будет рождество тварей в следующий раз.
- 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,160 не падайте духом, все. Стэнни поможет нам найти некрещеного человека язычника.
- 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:23,580 ты сделаешь это, Стэнни?
- 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:27,160 Нет! Я не сделаю для вас больше одолжений, и я не позволю вам родить Антихриста!
- 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,000 Я приехал сюда, чтобы положить конец всему этому!
- 00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:30,670 Остановить нас?
- 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:36,590 Ну и дела, Стэн, если ты пробуешь остановить нас, мы должны будем использовать нашу сатанинскую мощь против тебя.
- 00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:38,090 ладно, что угодно.
- 00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,720 Я сломаю ясли, которые построил.
- 00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:57,360 О парень! Наша сатанинская мощь сделала свое дело!
- 00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,030 Наша мощь становятся сильнее с каждым днем, сильнее с каждым днем!
- 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,990 Жаль Стэнни, но ты видишь, что ничто не может остановить рождение Антихриста,
- 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:04,330 за исключением львицы.
- 00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:05,660 а ты избавился от нее.
- 00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:06,740 Да!
- 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,250 Мальчика трясло от гнева! решено. Быть войне
- 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:14,750 Тут он вспомнил, что три детёныша, все еще живые на холме!
- 00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:16,500 О да.
- 00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:24,470 Привет? кто-нибудь есть тут
- 00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:28,180 О нет, это - человеческий детеныш, который убил нашу Маму!
- 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,730 Он пришел, чтобы убить теперь и нас.
- 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,810 хорошо. У меня в нутрии все умерло, когда Мама покинула нас.
- 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,820 Да, лучше это, чем медленная смерть, без матери рядом с нами.
- 00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:40,530 Слушайте, я сожалею, что я убил вашу маму., белка сказала мне, что она была злой.
- 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,990 Тебя обманула белка? Ну и дела, ты не слишком то умен?
- 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,410 Я попробую не повестись на это снова, но единственное, что может остановить тварей поклоняться дьяволу - львица!
- 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,370 Да, ты убил ее.
- 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,080 Хорошо, но вы - львы.
- 00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,550 Мы? Нет, мы - только дети. У нас все еще молочные зубы.
- 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,010 И детские когти.
- 00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,300 И мертвая мама.
- 00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,850 Все еще должен быть выход, для того чтобы убить ребенка дикобраза.
- 00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,220 Что? Ты имеешь в виду аборт?
- 00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:12,140 Да. аборт. Это может помочь.
- 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,350 Но, мы не знаем, как делать аборты.
- 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,770 Ты знаешь такое место, где могут научить нас, мистер?
- 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,280 " где можно научиться?" мальчик с хмурым взглядом сказал.
- 00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:23,400 "Я знаю! Клинику Абортов в городе" где я однажды бывал
- 00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:24,410 Что?!
- 00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:27,320 он собрал детёнышей и пошел вниз горы,
- 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,700 В клинику, где научат их делать аборты.
- 00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,250 Нет, он это не сделал.
- 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:32,290 Да он сделал.
- 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:33,580 Нет, не сделал!
- 00:13:33,910 --> 00:13:34,960 Да сделал.
- 00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,290 Нет, он этого не сделал!
- 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:37,750 Да он это
- 00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:39,250 сделал!
- 00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:40,670 Ай Черт подери!
- 00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:45,300 Сказал мальчик в красном помпоне на голове! "Мы это уже сделали! Представь себе!"
- 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,180 Извини, что ты делаешь здесь?!
- 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,100 Доктор спросил.
- 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,930 хочешь быть тут, Надо чтобы ты все объяснил
- 00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:56,900 Я не знаю, я должен показать этим львам, как выполнить аборт или что-то еще,
- 00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:58,610 я... Я знаю, это глупо
- 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,070 Хорошо, я счастлив, сообщить, что тебе повезло!
- 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,650 так много абортов у меня всегда на рождество!
- 00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:07,200 Соберись вокруг моего стола, не раскрывайте сильно рот,
- 00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:09,780 Смотрите внимательно, Я буду учить вас делать аборт!
- 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,620 маленький мальчик c котятами собрались вокруг стола,
- 00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:16,330 И весь день смотрели на аборт за абортом, вот это да
- 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:22,670 Святки всего лишь один раз в году
- 00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:26,840 Каждая тварь дорожит этим
- 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:30,810 Каждое животное, большое или маленькое
- 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:34,560 Рождество так много для нас всех значит
- 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:38,020 Это - один раз в году, это - Святки!
- 00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:42,150 И это случается один раз в году.
- 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,610 Это - один раз в году, это - Святки!
- 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,120 И мы знаем, что Рождество бывает только
- 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,450 Один раз в году.
- 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,750 лучше бы у этого всего был смысл, чувак. Лучше бы это имело смысл.
- 00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:56,830 Почти наступило то время, Наступило оно здесь,
- 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,670 И оно только один раз в году.
- 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:02,550 О просмотрите. этот маленький лесоруб совершенно один.
- 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,800 Ну и дела, он выглядит таким грустным.
- 00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:07,800 Приветики!
- 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:10,510 Что, за чертовщина?
- 00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:13,560 почему ты совершенно один в Сочельник.
- 00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:16,270 Моя... семья не празднует Рождество.
- 00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:17,890 но почему?
- 00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:21,190 Ну, потому что, мы как бы не верим в Иисуса.
- 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,360 Да
- 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:27,400 Но это означает, что тебя не крестили?
- 00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:28,780 Нет, я еврей.
- 00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:30,700 Да! Да!
- 00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:33,240 Ты должен идти с нами!
- 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,370 Ты идеальный! идеальный
- 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:36,040 А?
- 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,030 Какое особенное время и особенный день,
- 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,610 Это - Рождество Лесных Тварей.
- 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:44,990 приветствуйте Сатану
- 00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:49,410 Выше макушек деревьев, В ночь на Рождество
- 00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:53,240 новая яркая звезда зажглась в небе высоко.
- 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,040 Для мира, который будет спасен, есть один шанс, знайте вы
- 00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:59,710 мальчик с тремя львятам со знанием как делать аборты.
- 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,460 Хорошо, пойдемте, твари - в этой стороне. Вы львята, готовы помешать Антихристу родиться?
- 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,550 конечно. Мы же знаем теперь, как делать аборт.
- 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,140 Он достиг места тварей, скоро будет борьба
- 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,350 Но там злую шутку сыграла судьба.
- 00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:18,690 Парни, мы сделали это!
- 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,940 Антихрист рожден, принеся тысячу лет темноты к лесу.
- 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:29,280 Антихрист родился, будущее вселенной предрешено.
- 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:33,410 Мальчик в красном помпоне на шляпе пришел слишком поздно.
- 00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:35,750 Слишком поздно? что это значит?
- 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,540 О. приветик, Стэнни!
- 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,920 Стэн! Стэн, КАКОГО ЧЕРТА здесь происходит?!
- 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:42,170 Это - Рождество животных, чувак! Это полный отсос!
- 00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:46,170 Теперь все, что мы должны сделать, это поместить дух Антихриста в тело человека.
- 00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,760 Давайте! Быстрее!
- 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:51,760 это все?! Десять тысяч лет темноты и ни какого счастливого Рождества?!
- 00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:58,520 и вдруг в небе послышалось колокольчиков песнь, веселые красные сани несли радостную весть!
- 00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,190 эй, просмотри, это Санта Клаус!
- 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,360 да!
- 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,070 Давайте съедим его плоть!
- 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:12,370 Так это что за вашу мать тут происходит?! Почему - красная звезда, пылает в небе?!
- 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:16,620 Мы наконец сделали это, Санта! Мы добились появления Антихриста с помощью нашего хорошего друга,
- 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:17,370 Стэнни.
- 00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,620 Смерть и боль ждут всех живых существ.
- 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,630 МАЛЕНЬКИЙ мальчик, тебе должно быть стыдно!
- 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:24,670 я не хотел помогать им, я пробовал остановить их!
- 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,920 Да уж хорошенькое дельце! Есть только один способ остановить тварей поклоняться дьяволу!
- 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:36,770 Чувак, что за?
- 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,890 Силы тебе Санта!
- 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:43,610 давай, чувак.
- 00:17:47,530 --> 00:17:50,700 Ну и дела, Санта, ты не собираешься убить меня, ты же -
- 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,740 Но Санта, что нам делать с Антихристом?
- 00:17:56,370 --> 00:18:02,000 Не волнуйся, малыши. Антихрист не может выжить, не попадя в человеческое тело.
- 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:02,830 Не,
- 00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:05,210 нет, я хочу иметь Антихриста в себе!
- 00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:06,290 Что? Кайл?
- 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,130 С его властью, я могу наконец сделать землю лучше для Евреев!
- 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,760 Не делай этого, Кайл!
- 00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:18,350 Чувак!
- 00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:23,020 Да, да! Теперь Евреи возьмут под свой контроль Рождество раз и навсегда!
- 00:18:24,690 --> 00:18:25,610 О, остановись, Картмэн!
- 00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:29,610 Просто остановись! Этого - достаточно! Ты больше не прочитаешь ни строчки своей глупой истории!
- 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,610 Я полагаю, что никто не прерывал бы ТЕБЯ, когда ты будешь читать свою Рождественскую историю вслух,
- 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,070 Кайл.
- 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,080 Вся твоя глупая история только очередной способ поиздеваться надо мной, и над евреями на Рождество!
- 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:40,750 мистер Гаррисон, вы не могли бы сделать что-нибудь, пожалуйста?
- 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:46,080 Жаль, Эрик, но если Кайл чувствует себя дискриминированным, тебе бы лучше остановиться, а то мне будет звонить его мать.
- 00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,670 Ну ладно, хорошо! Забудьте это!
- 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,720 но, но что случилось дальше?
- 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,300 Да. Кайл принес тысячу лет темноты или нет?
- 00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:55,760 Что случилось с львятами?
- 00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,890 ну, я предполагаю, что мы никогда не узнаем, потому что Кайл не хочет слышать, как все закончится.
- 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,730 Нет, все удалось, верно? Мир был спасен, и я пришел домой на Рождественский ужин.
- 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,480 Чувак, какая тебе разница?!
- 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,060 я просто хочу знать, что будет управлять землей, Рождество Христово или черная мгла.
- 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,030 О да ладно! Все легко предсказуемо! Я убит Санта Клаусом и Рождество спасено!
- 00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:13,700 Это не так закончиться.
- 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,860 Ой да ладно тебе. Позволь ему прочитать нам до конца.
- 00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,070 Да да, давай!
- 00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:20,080 Ну и ладно, хорошо!
- 00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:33,970 "О боже, мой лучший друг попал в пасть сатане" сказал маленький мальчик с красным помпоном на голове.
- 00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:37,180 Теперь я буду управлять.
- 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:43,220 Боже как жжет! Моя душа Горит! О, мне это не нравиться!
- 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,100 Я не знал, какого это чувствовать себя... темным и злым!
- 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,400 Хорошо, чего ты ожидал, чувак? Это - сын Дьявола.
- 00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:51,690 О Боже, что я наделал?
- 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,320 мне жаль. Пожалуйста, я не хочу быть телом для Антихриста.
- 00:19:55,820 --> 00:20:00,080 Мне очень жаль, но уже поздно, Кайл! Санта, собирающийся убить тебя!
- 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:01,330 нет Санта, не надо!
- 00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:06,580 У нас нет выбора. Через несколько часов, темная сторона внутри него полностью истребит его душу.
- 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:10,000 Маленький мальчик взволнован. Он почти что кричал
- 00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:14,130 Но то, что он придумал, было лучше и он это знал.
- 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:15,470 львята!
- 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,260 Маленький мальчик, решился сказать
- 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,220 Я брал их смотреть, как аборты делать.
- 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,390 Что?
- 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,760 Львята, покажите чему вас доктор научил
- 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,890 вытащите дьявола из жопы Кайла и не берегите сил
- 00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:31,190 И в мерцании звезд, каждый львенок сделал что мог.
- 00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:34,820 Они помнили все, что узнали и сделали Кайлу аборт.
- 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000 Спасибо, вам. мне очень жаль, что я немного сошел с ума.
- 00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:54,090 Хорошо маленький мальчик, кажется, ТЫ,
- 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:58,510 действительно многому сегодня научился. Есть ли какой-нибудь специальный подарок, который ты бы хотел в этом году?
- 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,840 Да. Да, есть.
- 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:11,060 о что случилось?
- 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,110 Мама?
- 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,770 Ты вернулась! Мы тосковали без тебя, Мама!
- 00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:16,230 Хорошо
- 00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:20,280 а дома, были подарки, и много еды, и остальное фуфло
- 00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:25,950 для мальчика с красным помпоном на голове это было лучшее Рождество
- 00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:32,910 И они все жили счастливо долгие года, Все кроме Кайла, который умер от СПИДа две недели спустя.
- 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:35,500 Конец!
- 00:21:35,710 --> 00:21:36,500 Картмэн черт подери
- 00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:40,010 Christmastime is once a year
- 00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:44,050 Every creature holds it dear
- 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:47,890 Every animal big or small
- 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,900 Christmas means the world to us all
- 00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:55,770 It's once a year, it's Christmastime
- 00:21:56,110 --> 00:22:03,620 When we hear about how Christmas only comes Once a year.
Скриншоты
