Рождество у лесных тварей
Описание
Стэн помогает лесным тварям, ожидающим рождение своего спасителя, но выясняется, что служат они совсем не тому спасителю.
Субтитры
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eng__.srt
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♪ gonna have
myself a time ♪
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,723
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,307
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,559
♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,728
♪ gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,354
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,190
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,317
♪ gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,780
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,866
♪ and meet some
friends of mine ♪
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,790
Way up in the mountains
in a small little town...
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,668
The main street was being
decorated all up and down.
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,378
People stood in long lines
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,297
Sometimes waiting
hours or more...
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:49,467
Because Christmas needs
to be bought in a store.
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:52,511
But out in the forest
not too far away...
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,929
the little woodland critters
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:57,349
were also preparing
for their Christmas day.
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,143
♪ Its almost time when
the time is here ♪
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,644
♪ The time that's
only once a year ♪
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,563
♪ We can hardly wait
'cause it's so near ♪
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,523
♪ A woodland critter
Christmas ♪
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,443
The little critters worked hard
as they happily sang
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,737
and each one of them
had a quite interesting name.
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,655
There was Squirrelie
the squirrel
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,032
Rabbitie the rabbit
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,159
Beaverie the beaver
and Bearie the bear.
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,662
Porcupinie the porcupine,
Skunkie the skunk
00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:22,124
Foxie the fox
and Deerie, the deer.
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,794
Woodpeckerie the woodpecker,
Mousie the mouse
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,921
and Chickadee-ee,
the chickadee
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,631
all made
the forest their house.
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,676
And on that magical day,
stumbling upon all of that--
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,221
was a surprised
little boy...
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,349
in a red poof ball hat.
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,101
What the hell...?
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,729
♪ Christmas time
is once a year ♪
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:48,067
♪ Every critter
holds it dear ♪
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:52,071
♪ Every animal big or small ♪
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:56,826
♪ Christmas means
so much to us all ♪
00:01:59,036 --> 00:01:59,954
Well,
hello there!
00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,288
Welcome to
our forest.
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165
How do you like our
Christmas tree?
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,583
It's nice...
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,919
Why, it's the most perfect
tree in the forest!
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,379
Yea!
- Yea!
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,631
Oh, no,
I see a problem!
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,007
What is it,
Mousie?
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,510
Our Christmas tree
doesn't have a star!
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,554
Awww...
Awww...
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,682
We can't have a tree
with no star on it.
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,641
What are we gonna do?
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,393
Now don't be
down, ya'll.
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,603
Maybe our new friend
can help us find a star.
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,480
Would you?
Really?
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,191
Okay, okay...
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,234
Yea!
Yea!
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,655
And so, using some paper
and working with glee
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,657
the boy in the
red poof ball hat
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,368
made a star
for the tree.
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,704
Ahhh...
Ahhh...
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,582
It's the nicest star
I ever saw!
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,710
The little critters cheered
and Beavie said with a smile...
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,005
How would you like to sing and
dance with us for a while?
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,175
The boy in the red poof ball hat
smiled and said...
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,595
Uh... no thanks,
I'm gonna go home.
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,014
G'bye Stannie!
00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,765
G'bye!
- See ya!
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,517
Wuf...
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,446
Hi, Stannie!
Hi, Stannie!
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072
Aw... Wha?
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,741
His friends
were all there!
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,117
What a wonderful
surprise!
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,953
The little boy smiled
with joy in his eyes!
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,330
What time is it?
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,165
You aren't gonna believe
what happened, Stannie.
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,958
It's the most magical
Christmas gift ever!
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,127
Porcupinie is pregnant!
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,962
You guys, I have to
go to school tomorrow.
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,797
I deduce the manboy
doesn't understand
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,507
the seriousness
of the fertilization!
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,301
Porcupinie is a virgin,
Stannie.
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,345
Her conception
was immaculate!
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,889
She's going to give birth
to our lord and savior!
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,432
What?
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,059
It has been foretold unto me
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,602
that I would give birth
on Christmas Day!
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,603
So soon!
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,562
How delightful!
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,939
Our souls are saved!
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,232
Finally, the critters
are gonna have a savior
00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:53,234
of their very own
of their very own!
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,401
Yea!
- Yea!
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,153
There's just
one problem...
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,572
We don't have a manger for
our savior to be born in.
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,574
Awww!
- Awww!
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,993
But we got
to have a manger!
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:03,994
Can you do it,
Stan?
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287
Can you build us
a manger, huh?
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,957
Yea!
- Yea!
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,460
"Of course I'll build you
a manger!"
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,586
The little boy cried.
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,837
And he winked at
his critter friends
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,632
and leapt to their side!
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,302
And out in the woods,
the boy steamed right ahead
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,682
making a place for the critter
babe to lay its sweet head.
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,434
Gee wiz, if it isn't the
nicest manger I ever saw!
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,603
I deduce that it shall serve
as a perfectly suitable
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,605
resting place
for the son of our lord!
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,149
Does this mean we can
go to sleep now?
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,986
My son will have the nicest
bed in all the forest!
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,487
Fit for a king!
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,115
This is gonna be the best
critter Christmas ever!
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,284
♪ It's almost time
when the time is here ♪
00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,827
♪ The time that's only
once a year-♪
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,453
Alright,
I'm going now.
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,873
Aaah!
- Aaah!
00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:50,916
The mountain lion!
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:51,834
Hide!
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,548
Go away, shoo!
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,347
Is it gone?
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,932
I deduce it is!
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,642
I'm not
c-c-coming out!
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,227
Well, this is the end.
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354
The mountain lion obviously
knows Porcupinie is pregnant
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,148
and it's going to
kill it again!
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,441
Again?
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,192
Every Christmas,
the mountain lion comes down
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,360
and eats the virgin critter
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,945
impregnated with
the son of our lord.
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,905
Oh dear,
I'm so very afraid!
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,198
Let's face it,
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,368
the mountain lion will never
let our savior be born!
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,786
Awww...
- Awww...
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,331
Hey, we shouldn't be
upset this Christmas
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,582
we've got Stannie!
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,584
Of course,
Stannie can do anything!
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,501
If he can build a manger,
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128
he can stop that mean ol'
mountain lion!
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,671
Christmas is saved!
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,423
Yea!
- Yea!
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,094
High up over the forest,
on a dark, craggily peak
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,639
the horrid mountain lion
lived and preyed on the weak.
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,974
For the critters to be saved
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,268
someone had to stop
that nasty old cat--
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,395
God dammit,
this is fucking ridiculous.
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,690
--said the little boy
in the red poof ball hat.
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,360
Killing a mountain lion
was no easy task.
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,196
But he thought of a plan...
and he thought of it fast!
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,408
Gargrgrgg...
grgrgrrrgrr!
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,618
Come on out!
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,539
Come on,
critter killer!
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,041
Your days of slaughtering
innocent little animals
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:14,750
are over!
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,377
Rarghghgh!
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,215
Rarrrrrr!
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,806
Aah!
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,022
In a flash it was over,
a victorious blow!
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,109
The mountain lion lay slain
on the cold ground below.
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,197
Okay, there.
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,577
Mommy...
Mommy!
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,833
W-w-wake up, Mommy,
wake up...
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751
Don't leave us,
Mommy.
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,464
Man-boy... Why?
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,385
Why did you
kill our mommy, why?
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,680
I... the critters...
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,766
They're...
birth of the savior...
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,188
The tiny cubs all
gathered together and cried,
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,900
all alone in the world because
their mother had died.
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,528
Aw... awww!
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,451
Ooh...
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,536
You alright,
Lady Porcupinie?
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621
Oh yes... Just felt
a little kick is all.
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,373
Well, it's been
much too long now.
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,251
I'm afraid our helpful friend
Stannie must be very dead.
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,712
Yes, the mountain lion
probably swallowed him whole.
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,921
I guess that means...
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,549
Our savior is gonna be
made into savior stew.
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,384
Awww...
- Awww...
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,094
Wait a minute,
look!
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,973
Stannie!
- Stannie!
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,476
Stannie,
you're alive!
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060
But does that mean...
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,770
You killed
the mountain lion?
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,564
It's dead.
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,232
For real
and for true?
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,525
Are you sure?
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,569
I'm sure, it won't be
hurting you anymore.
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:06,862
He did it!
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,114
Now our critter Christmas
can finally happen!
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,532
Hail Satan!
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075
Hail Satan!
- Hail Satan!
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,660
Wait... what?
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,621
You've done us
a huge favor, Stannie!
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,080
Without the mountain lion
around,
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,583
Lady Porcupinie can give
birth to the Antichrist!
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,293
Yea!
- Yea!
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,711
Wait, wait...
the Antichrist?
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,213
You said she was giving birth
to your savior!
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,173
Yes, to the son of our lord,
Satan, Prince of Darkness.
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966
But I thought you meant
the son of God!
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,176
Well, think about it.
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,761
You really think God would
have sex with a porcupine?
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:31,470
No way!
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,096
Only Satan,
Prince of Darkness
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,848
and King of All Evil
would do that--yea!
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,433
This is cause
for celebration.
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185
Let's sacrifice Rabbitie
and eat his flesh!
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,395
Yea, sacrifice me
to the devil!
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,272
Yea!
- Yea!
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,571
Aaghghgh!
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,490
Ahghghgh!
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325
Drink his blood,
drink his blood!
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,620
Rarhrhghggh!
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,789
Blood orgy!
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,415
Yea, blood orgy!
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,209
Blood orgy, yea!
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,050
♪ What a special time,
a special day ♪
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,510
♪ It's woodland critter
Christmas ♪
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,512
Hail Satan!
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,015
In the gentle forest clearing on
Christmas Eve morn,
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,642
the little forest critters
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144
prepared for the Antichrist
to be born.
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,313
The noble mountain lion
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,482
had stopped evil
in all the years past,
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,570
but now the good protector lay
dead as the good owls amassed.
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,864
And meanwhile, three lion cubs
were crying away.
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,826
For them, there would
certainly be no Christmas Day.
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,913
And soon the forest would suffer
from the offspring Satan begat.
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,457
All this because of
the little boy...
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,876
In the red poof ball hat.
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,295
Ugh...
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,463
Now that he'd killed
the noble lion queen,
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,716
there was nobody to stop
the apocalypse, it seemed.
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,551
Aghghggh!
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,720
"I know!" he said
with a new happy grin.
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,471
"I'll go back to the forest
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,849
to speak with those critters
again!"
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,559
No, no, no, no...
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,186
He ran out the living room,
turned out the light
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:07,107
and went back to the forest
to set everything right!
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,984
♪ Well,
we're movin' on up ♪
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235
♪ Movin' on up ♪
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903
♪ to the east side... ♪
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,907
And went back to the forest
to set everything right!
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,409
♪...In the sky ♪
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,786
♪ Mov-movin' on
up... ♪
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955
He tried to forget all about it
by watching TV
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,790
But his conscience
caught up with him
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,626
and to the forest
he did flee!
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,419
♪ Piece of the pie... ♪
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,672
He thought he could hide from
his problems, not true!
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,758
He knew in his heart
the thing he had to do!
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,593
Leave me alone!
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,012
He knew that only by going
to the forest could he--
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,388
Oh, alright, alright,
alright!
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,973
God!
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,519
Hey, look everyone!
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,188
It's our ol' pal,
Stannie!
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,066
Oh boy, Stannie,
you came just in time!
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,568
Yeah, we've got
a big problem!
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,070
The great Satan
has commanded
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,196
that when
the Antichrist is born,
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,657
we must find a human host body
to transfer it into.
00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,283
That way it can take over
the whole world!
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,409
The whole world!
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,535
The human must be
non-baptized
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,704
and heathenistic
against Christ!
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,998
We figured
you'd be perfect!
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:05,999
Yea!
- Yea!
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,125
I'm not a heathen!
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,503
I was baptized
and my family's Christian!
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,337
Awww...!
- Awww...!
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,008
But we got to have a human
host body for the Antichrist.
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,720
Oh, dear, maybe we won't have
a critter Christmas after all.
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,097
Now don't be down,
y'all.
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,391
Stannie can help us find
a non-baptized heathen human.
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,517
Will ya really,
Stannie?
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:24,351
No!
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,227
I'm not doing you
any more favors
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,521
and I'm not letting you give
birth to the Antichrist!
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,189
I came here to put
a stop to all this!
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,482
To stop us?
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,777
But gee wiz, Stan,
if you tried to stop us
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,988
we'd have to use our evil
Satanic powers on you.
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,240
Right, whatever.
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,741
I'm taking down
the manger I built.
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,664
Agh...
Aghghh!
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875
Ahghgh!
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,837
Aahghgh!
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,964
Aahghgh!
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,382
Oh, boy!
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,426
Our satanic powers
sure did the trick!
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,760
Our powers get stronger
every day!
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,011
Get stronger every day!
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,596
Sorry, Stannie,
but you see,
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,223
nothin' can stop the birth
of the Antichrist...
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,224
Except for
a mountain lion.
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,809
And you got
rid a her!
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:06,977
Yea!
- Yea!
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,646
The boy shook with anger
he broke a sweat and felt ill!
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:10,981
When he remembered,
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,444
there were three mountain lion
cubs still alive on the hill!
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,737
Oh, yeah.
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,325
Hello?
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,078
Anybody in there?
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,373
Oh, no, it's the man-boy
who killed Mommy!
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,833
He's come to
kill us now!
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,544
It's okay, I died inside when
Mommy was killed anyways.
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,921
Yeah, better this
than the slow death
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,132
we'd face without
a mother around.
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:38,842
Look, I'm sorry
I killed your mom.
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,635
The squirrel told me
she was evil.
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,763
You got tricked
by a squirrel?
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,265
Gee, you're not too smart,
are ya mister?
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,894
I'm trying to make this
alright again,
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,645
but the only thing that can
stop devil-worshipping critters
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772
is a mountain lion.
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,607
Yeah,
and you killed her.
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,567
Well, you're mountain lions.
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,985
Us?
Nawww, we're just kids.
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,320
We still have
our baby teeth.
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,905
And baby claws.
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,907
And a dead mom.
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,743
There still has to be a way
for you
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,786
to kill the porcupine's baby.
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,331
What?
You mean like an abortion?
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,000
Yeah, an abortion!
That could work!
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045
But... We don't know
how to give abortions.
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,339
Do you know someplace
we can learn, mister?
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,467
"Where can they learn that,"
the boy said with a frown.
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,678
"I know, the abortion clinic
just outside of town!"
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138
What?
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432
So he picked up the cubs and
down the mountain he stormed,
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,810
and took them to where
abortions are performed!
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852
No, he didn't.
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,145
Yes, he did.
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,730
No, he didn't!
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,232
Yes, he did.
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,942
No, he didn't!
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,902
Yes, he... did!
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,612
Aw, God damn it!
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,614
... said the boy
in the red poofball hat!
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158
We've made it already,
little cubs, fancy that!
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,328
Excuse me,
what are you doing here?
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372
... The abortion doctor
inquired.
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,124
If you wanna be in the O.R.,
a pass is required!
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,001
I don't know, I'm supposed
to show these mountain lions
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,128
how abortions are performed
or something.
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,463
I know,
it's ridiculous.
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049
Well, you're in luck,
I'm happy to inform.
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,342
Its only three days
until Christmas
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,803
so I have lots of
abortions to perform!
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180
Gather round my table
cute little lions,
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,891
I'll teach you to do abortions
without even tryin'!
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,476
And so the little boy
and the cubs
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,978
gathered 'round
the chair base
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,481
and all day watched abortion
after abortion take place.
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,945
♪ Christmas time
is once a year ♪
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,449
♪ Every creature
holds it dear ♪
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,704
♪ Every animal big or small ♪
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,332
♪ Christmas means so much
to us all ♪
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,753
♪ It's once a year,
it's Christmas time ♪
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,965
♪ And it happens once a year ♪
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,927
♪ It's once a year
at Christmas time ♪
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,973
♪ When we hear about how
Christmas only comes ♪
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,058
♪ Once a year... ♪
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226
This better
have a point, dude.
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,519
This really better
have a point.
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479
♪ It's almost time
when the time is here ♪
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,315
♪ The time that's only
once a year-♪
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,442
Oh, look...
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,652
That little feller
is all alone!
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,946
Gee, he looks sad.
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,700
Hi there!
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,619
What the hell...?
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,622
How come you're all alone
on Christmas eve?
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,916
My... family doesn't
celebrate Christmas.
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,001
Awww, but why?
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086
Well, because
we don't really...
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,421
Believe in Jesus.
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,465
Yea!
- Yea!
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:27,302
But does that mean...
you aren't baptized?
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,887
No, I'm Jewish.
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,889
Yea, yea!
- Yea, yea!
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,600
You got to
come with us!
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,435
You're perfect,
just p-p-perfect!
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,269
Huh?
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,729
Yea!
- Woo-hoo!
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,150
♪ What a special time
and special day ♪
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,860
♪ It's woodland critter
Christmas ♪
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,820
Hail Satan!
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,614
'Twas the night
before Christmas
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,283
and above the woods
way up high,
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,286
a new bright shiny star
hung in the sky...
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,247
For the world to be saved
there was only one shot,
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,086
a little boy with three cubs
with an abortion plot.
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,087
Okay, come on,
the critters are over this way.
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,838
You mountain lions ready
to stop the Antichrist
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,006
from being born?
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,008
Sure, we know how to
give abortions now!
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,260
He arrived at the critter forest
ready to fight
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:13,348
but then gasped when he saw
a most dreadful sight--
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,645
Gosh, we did it!
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,230
The critter Antichrist
is born.
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,065
Bringing a thousand years
of darkness to the forest.
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,485
Grgglglgl!
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,656
The Antichrist had been born,
sealing the world's fate.
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,408
The boy in
the red poof ball hat...
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,702
was too late.
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,577
Too late?
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:35,912
What the hell
is that?
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,747
Oh, hi-ya,
Stannie!
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:38,999
Stan!
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,208
Stan what the hell
is going on?!
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,711
It's critter Christmas dude,
it sucks ass!
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,131
Now all we got to do is put the
Antichrist into our human host!
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,841
Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,384
That's it?
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,137
10,000 years of darkness and I
don't have a Merry Christmas?
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,430
When up the sky,
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,473
the sound of sleigh bells
were heard!
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,852
And a jolly red sleigh flew
down to earth like a bird!
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,271
Hey, look!
Its Santie Claus!
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,397
Yea!
- Yea!
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,399
Let's eat
his flesh!
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,654
Alright, what the hell
is going on?
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,657
Why is there a red star
glowing in the sky?
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,409
We finally did it,
Santa!
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,994
We brought forth the
Antichrist with help
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,370
from our good friend Stannie!
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,622
Death and pain await
all living things!
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,459
Little boy,
you should be ashamed!
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,128
I didn't mean to help them,
I tried to stop them!
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,629
Well, good going, stupid!
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,341
There's only one way to stop
devil-worshiping critters!
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,012
Aaaghgh!
- Aaaghgh!
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,724
Dude, what the...?
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,605
Come on, dude.
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,612
Gee wiz, Santa, you're not
gonna kill me are y--
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,784
But Santa, what do we
do about the Antichrist?
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,496
Don't worry, boys,
the Antichrist cannot survive
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,123
without a human host body
to go into.
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,376
No... no, I want to have
the Antichrist inside me!
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,294
What...
Kyle!
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,046
With his power,
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,173
I can finally make the earth
a better place for the Jews!
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,092
Don't do it, Kyle!
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,554
Aarrhghgh!
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,473
Dude!
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,141
Yes... yes!
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,268
Now the Jews shall
take control of Christmas
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,062
once and for all...
Ahahahaahaa!
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,647
Oh, stop it, Cartman!
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,731
Just stop it!
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:27,690
That's enough!
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,984
You aren't reading another
sentence of your stupid story!
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,071
I don't believe anyone
interrupted you
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,697
when you read your
Christmas story aloud, Kyle.
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,449
This whole time your
stupid story was just a way
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,285
to rip on me for being Jewish
at Christmas again!
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,829
Mr. Garrison could you
do something, please?
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789
Sorry Eric, but if Kyle feels
discriminated against
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:46,042
you'll have to stop or else
I'll get a call from his mother.
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,044
Alright, fine,
forget it!
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,714
Well, but...
But what happened?
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,175
Yeah, did Kyle bring 1,000
years of darkness or not?
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,635
What happens
to the lion cubs?
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,178
Well, I guess
we'll never know
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,972
because Kyle doesn't wanna
hear how it ends.
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,223
No, it all worked out,
right?
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,808
The world was saved and I went
home for Christmas dinner.
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,601
Dude, why do you care?!
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,395
After all that
I at least wanna know
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272
if I had a Merry Christmas or
if darkness rules the earth.
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,149
Oh, come on!
It's obvious what happens.
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,026
I get killed by Santa Claus
so that Christmas is saved!
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,862
That's not at all
what happens.
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,780
Aw, come on,
let him read us the end!
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,157
Yeah, yeah,
come on...
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,158
Yeah!
Let him do it!
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,118
Alright,
fine!
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,294
A-a-ahem...
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,671
"Oh, dear, my best friend is
possessed, how about that!"
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,174
said the little boy
in the red poof ball hat..."
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,384
Ha ha haaa!
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,137
Now I shall rule the--
ughh... aahghgh...
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,638
God it burns!
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,849
Aahhhh...
my soul is on fire!
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,226
Ohhh, I don't like this.
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,271
I didn't know it would
feel so... dark and evil!
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,189
Well what did
you expect, dude?
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,523
It's the son of
the devil.
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,317
Oh God,
what have I done?
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,902
I'm sorry, please...
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,361
I don't wanna be the vessel
for the Antichrist!
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,822
I'm sorry but it's
too late, Kyle.
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,824
Santa's gonna
have to kill you.
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,367
No, Santa don't!
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,828
We don't have a choice,
in a few hours
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,915
the dark creature inside
him will consume his soul!
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,792
The little boy fretted,
he almost started to bawl...
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,088
But that's when he came up
with the best idea of all.
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,715
The lion cubs!
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,675
...The little boy
quickly begun...
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,385
I took them to see
how abortions are done!
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:20,887
What?
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,431
Now, cubs do like they
showed you, hurry up fast
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,934
get the Antichrist of
my friend Kyle's ass!
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,229
And in the
twinkling starlight
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,897
each little cub
did their portion.
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,941
They remembered all
they had learned
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,984
and gave Kyle an abortion.
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,611
Aarhghgh...!
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,488
gagahrhgrh...!
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,031
Kill, destroy!
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:40,782
Ghghrhrhg!
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,951
Kill, destroy!
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,287
Gagahrhgrh--
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500
Thanks, everybody.
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,085
I'm sorry I got
a little crazy there.
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,378
Well, little boy,
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,546
it seems that you have
really been through a lot.
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,758
Is there any special present
you would like this year?
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,219
Yeah...
yeah there is.
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,895
What... oh my,
what happened?
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,105
Mommy?
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,523
Yea!
- You're back!
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:14,983
We missed you Mommy!
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,651
Oh, good.
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,403
And back home,
there were presents
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,780
and lots of food to get fat
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,782
and it was the best
Christmas ever
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,703
for the boy in
the red poof ball hat.
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:30,164
And they all lived
happily ever after.
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,668
Except for Kyle who died of AIDS
two weeks later.
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,963
God damn it Cartman!
00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,632
♪ Christmas time
is once a year ♪
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:44,095
♪ Every creature
holds it dear ♪
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099
♪ Every animal big or small ♪
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,644
♪ Christmas means
the world to us all ♪
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:55,773
♪ It's once a year,
it's Christmas time ♪
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:59,986
♪ When we hear about how
Christmas only comes ♪
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,280
♪ once a year ♪
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,096
♪ gonna have
myself a time ♪
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,723
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,307
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,559
♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,728
♪ gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:20,354
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,190
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,317
♪ gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:28,696
♪ [muffled] ♪
00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:29,780
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,866
♪ and meet some
friends of mine ♪
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,790
Way up in the mountains
in a small little town...
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,668
The main street was being
decorated all up and down.
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,378
People stood in long lines
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,297
Sometimes waiting
hours or more...
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:49,467
Because Christmas needs
to be bought in a store.
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:52,511
But out in the forest
not too far away...
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,929
the little woodland critters
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:57,349
were also preparing
for their Christmas day.
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,143
♪ Its almost time when
the time is here ♪
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,644
♪ The time that's
only once a year ♪
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,563
♪ We can hardly wait
'cause it's so near ♪
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,523
♪ A woodland critter
Christmas ♪
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,443
The little critters worked hard
as they happily sang
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,737
and each one of them
had a quite interesting name.
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,655
There was Squirrelie
the squirrel
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,032
Rabbitie the rabbit
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,159
Beaverie the beaver
and Bearie the bear.
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:18,662
Porcupinie the porcupine,
Skunkie the skunk
00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:22,124
Foxie the fox
and Deerie, the deer.
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,794
Woodpeckerie the woodpecker,
Mousie the mouse
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,921
and Chickadee-ee,
the chickadee
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,631
all made
the forest their house.
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,676
And on that magical day,
stumbling upon all of that--
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:35,221
was a surprised
little boy...
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,349
in a red poof ball hat.
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,101
What the hell...?
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,729
♪ Christmas time
is once a year ♪
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:48,067
♪ Every critter
holds it dear ♪
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:52,071
♪ Every animal big or small ♪
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:56,826
♪ Christmas means
so much to us all ♪
00:01:59,036 --> 00:01:59,954
Well,
hello there!
00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:01,288
Welcome to
our forest.
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165
How do you like our
Christmas tree?
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,583
It's nice...
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,919
Why, it's the most perfect
tree in the forest!
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,379
Yea!
- Yea!
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,631
Oh, no,
I see a problem!
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,007
What is it,
Mousie?
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,510
Our Christmas tree
doesn't have a star!
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,554
Awww...
Awww...
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,682
We can't have a tree
with no star on it.
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,641
What are we gonna do?
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,393
Now don't be
down, ya'll.
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,603
Maybe our new friend
can help us find a star.
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,480
Would you?
Really?
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,191
Okay, okay...
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,234
Yea!
Yea!
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,655
And so, using some paper
and working with glee
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,657
the boy in the
red poof ball hat
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,368
made a star
for the tree.
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,704
Ahhh...
Ahhh...
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,582
It's the nicest star
I ever saw!
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,710
The little critters cheered
and Beavie said with a smile...
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,005
How would you like to sing and
dance with us for a while?
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,175
The boy in the red poof ball hat
smiled and said...
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,595
Uh... no thanks,
I'm gonna go home.
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,014
G'bye Stannie!
00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:01,765
G'bye!
- See ya!
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,517
Wuf...
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,446
Hi, Stannie!
Hi, Stannie!
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072
Aw... Wha?
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,741
His friends
were all there!
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,117
What a wonderful
surprise!
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,953
The little boy smiled
with joy in his eyes!
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,330
What time is it?
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,165
You aren't gonna believe
what happened, Stannie.
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,958
It's the most magical
Christmas gift ever!
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,127
Porcupinie is pregnant!
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,962
You guys, I have to
go to school tomorrow.
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,797
I deduce the manboy
doesn't understand
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,507
the seriousness
of the fertilization!
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,301
Porcupinie is a virgin,
Stannie.
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,345
Her conception
was immaculate!
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,889
She's going to give birth
to our lord and savior!
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,432
What?
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,059
It has been foretold unto me
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:46,602
that I would give birth
on Christmas Day!
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,603
So soon!
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,562
How delightful!
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,939
Our souls are saved!
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,232
Finally, the critters
are gonna have a savior
00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:53,234
of their very own
of their very own!
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,401
Yea!
- Yea!
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,153
There's just
one problem...
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,572
We don't have a manger for
our savior to be born in.
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,574
Awww!
- Awww!
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,993
But we got
to have a manger!
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:03,994
Can you do it,
Stan?
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287
Can you build us
a manger, huh?
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,957
Yea!
- Yea!
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,460
"Of course I'll build you
a manger!"
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,586
The little boy cried.
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,837
And he winked at
his critter friends
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,632
and leapt to their side!
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,302
And out in the woods,
the boy steamed right ahead
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,682
making a place for the critter
babe to lay its sweet head.
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:27,434
Gee wiz, if it isn't the
nicest manger I ever saw!
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,603
I deduce that it shall serve
as a perfectly suitable
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,605
resting place
for the son of our lord!
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,149
Does this mean we can
go to sleep now?
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,986
My son will have the nicest
bed in all the forest!
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,487
Fit for a king!
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,115
This is gonna be the best
critter Christmas ever!
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,284
♪ It's almost time
when the time is here ♪
00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,827
♪ The time that's only
once a year-♪
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,453
Alright,
I'm going now.
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:47,538
[growl]
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,873
Aaah!
- Aaah!
00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:50,916
The mountain lion!
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:51,834
Hide!
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,548
Go away, shoo!
00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:00,009
[growl]
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,347
Is it gone?
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,932
I deduce it is!
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,642
I'm not
c-c-coming out!
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,227
Well, this is the end.
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354
The mountain lion obviously
knows Porcupinie is pregnant
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,148
and it's going to
kill it again!
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,441
Again?
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,192
Every Christmas,
the mountain lion comes down
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,360
and eats the virgin critter
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,945
impregnated with
the son of our lord.
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,905
Oh dear,
I'm so very afraid!
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:23,198
Let's face it,
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,368
the mountain lion will never
let our savior be born!
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,786
Awww...
- Awww...
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,331
Hey, we shouldn't be
upset this Christmas
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:31,582
we've got Stannie!
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,584
Of course,
Stannie can do anything!
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,501
If he can build a manger,
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,128
he can stop that mean ol'
mountain lion!
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:37,671
Christmas is saved!
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,423
Yea!
- Yea!
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,094
High up over the forest,
on a dark, craggily peak
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,639
the horrid mountain lion
lived and preyed on the weak.
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,974
For the critters to be saved
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,268
someone had to stop
that nasty old cat--
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,395
God dammit,
this is fucking ridiculous.
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,690
--said the little boy
in the red poof ball hat.
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,360
Killing a mountain lion
was no easy task.
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,196
But he thought of a plan...
and he thought of it fast!
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,408
Gargrgrgg...
grgrgrrrgrr!
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,618
Come on out!
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,870
[growl]
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,539
Come on,
critter killer!
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,041
Your days of slaughtering
innocent little animals
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:14,750
are over!
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,377
Rarghghgh!
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,045
[growl]
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,215
Rarrrrrr!
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,133
[growl]
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,806
Aah!
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,022
In a flash it was over,
a victorious blow!
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,109
The mountain lion lay slain
on the cold ground below.
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,197
Okay, there.
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,577
Mommy...
Mommy!
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,833
W-w-wake up, Mommy,
wake up...
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751
Don't leave us,
Mommy.
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,464
Man-boy... Why?
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,385
Why did you
kill our mommy, why?
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,680
I... the critters...
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,766
They're...
birth of the savior...
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,188
The tiny cubs all
gathered together and cried,
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,900
all alone in the world because
their mother had died.
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,528
Aw... awww!
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,451
Ooh...
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:32,536
You alright,
Lady Porcupinie?
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621
Oh yes... Just felt
a little kick is all.
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,373
Well, it's been
much too long now.
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,251
I'm afraid our helpful friend
Stannie must be very dead.
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,712
Yes, the mountain lion
probably swallowed him whole.
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,921
I guess that means...
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,549
Our savior is gonna be
made into savior stew.
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,384
Awww...
- Awww...
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,094
Wait a minute,
look!
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,973
Stannie!
- Stannie!
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,476
Stannie,
you're alive!
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060
But does that mean...
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,770
You killed
the mountain lion?
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:00,564
It's dead.
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,232
For real
and for true?
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,525
Are you sure?
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,569
I'm sure, it won't be
hurting you anymore.
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:06,862
He did it!
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,114
Now our critter Christmas
can finally happen!
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,532
Hail Satan!
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075
Hail Satan!
- Hail Satan!
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,660
Wait... what?
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,621
You've done us
a huge favor, Stannie!
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,080
Without the mountain lion
around,
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,583
Lady Porcupinie can give
birth to the Antichrist!
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,293
Yea!
- Yea!
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,711
Wait, wait...
the Antichrist?
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,213
You said she was giving birth
to your savior!
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,173
Yes, to the son of our lord,
Satan, Prince of Darkness.
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966
But I thought you meant
the son of God!
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,176
Well, think about it.
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,761
You really think God would
have sex with a porcupine?
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:31,470
No way!
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,096
Only Satan,
Prince of Darkness
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,848
and King of All Evil
would do that--yea!
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,433
This is cause
for celebration.
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185
Let's sacrifice Rabbitie
and eat his flesh!
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,395
Yea, sacrifice me
to the devil!
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,272
Yea!
- Yea!
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,571
Aaghghgh!
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,490
Ahghghgh!
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325
Drink his blood,
drink his blood!
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,620
Rarhrhghggh!
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,789
Blood orgy!
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,415
Yea, blood orgy!
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,209
Blood orgy, yea!
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,050
♪ What a special time,
a special day ♪
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,510
♪ It's woodland critter
Christmas ♪
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,512
Hail Satan!
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,015
In the gentle forest clearing on
Christmas Eve morn,
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,642
the little forest critters
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144
prepared for the Antichrist
to be born.
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,313
The noble mountain lion
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,482
had stopped evil
in all the years past,
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:29,570
but now the good protector lay
dead as the good owls amassed.
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,864
And meanwhile, three lion cubs
were crying away.
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,826
For them, there would
certainly be no Christmas Day.
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,913
And soon the forest would suffer
from the offspring Satan begat.
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,457
All this because of
the little boy...
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,876
In the red poof ball hat.
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,295
Ugh...
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,463
Now that he'd killed
the noble lion queen,
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,716
there was nobody to stop
the apocalypse, it seemed.
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,551
Aghghggh!
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,720
"I know!" he said
with a new happy grin.
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,471
"I'll go back to the forest
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,849
to speak with those critters
again!"
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,559
No, no, no, no...
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,186
He ran out the living room,
turned out the light
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:07,107
and went back to the forest
to set everything right!
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,984
♪ Well,
we're movin' on up ♪
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235
♪ Movin' on up ♪
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903
♪ to the east side... ♪
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,907
And went back to the forest
to set everything right!
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,409
♪...In the sky ♪
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,786
♪ Mov-movin' on
up... ♪
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955
He tried to forget all about it
by watching TV
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,790
But his conscience
caught up with him
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,626
and to the forest
he did flee!
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,419
♪ Piece of the pie... ♪
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,672
He thought he could hide from
his problems, not true!
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,758
He knew in his heart
the thing he had to do!
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,593
Leave me alone!
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,012
He knew that only by going
to the forest could he--
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,388
Oh, alright, alright,
alright!
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:39,973
God!
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,519
Hey, look everyone!
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,188
It's our ol' pal,
Stannie!
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,066
Oh boy, Stannie,
you came just in time!
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,568
Yeah, we've got
a big problem!
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,070
The great Satan
has commanded
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,196
that when
the Antichrist is born,
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,657
we must find a human host body
to transfer it into.
00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:58,283
That way it can take over
the whole world!
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,409
The whole world!
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,535
The human must be
non-baptized
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,704
and heathenistic
against Christ!
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,998
We figured
you'd be perfect!
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:05,999
Yea!
- Yea!
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,125
I'm not a heathen!
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,503
I was baptized
and my family's Christian!
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,337
Awww...!
- Awww...!
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,008
But we got to have a human
host body for the Antichrist.
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,720
Oh, dear, maybe we won't have
a critter Christmas after all.
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,097
Now don't be down,
y'all.
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,391
Stannie can help us find
a non-baptized heathen human.
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:23,517
Will ya really,
Stannie?
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:24,351
No!
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,227
I'm not doing you
any more favors
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,521
and I'm not letting you give
birth to the Antichrist!
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,189
I came here to put
a stop to all this!
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,482
To stop us?
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,777
But gee wiz, Stan,
if you tried to stop us
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,988
we'd have to use our evil
Satanic powers on you.
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,240
Right, whatever.
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,741
I'm taking down
the manger I built.
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,664
Agh...
Aghghh!
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875
Ahghgh!
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,837
Aahghgh!
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,964
Aahghgh!
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,382
Oh, boy!
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,426
Our satanic powers
sure did the trick!
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,760
Our powers get stronger
every day!
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,011
Get stronger every day!
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,596
Sorry, Stannie,
but you see,
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,223
nothin' can stop the birth
of the Antichrist...
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,224
Except for
a mountain lion.
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,809
And you got
rid a her!
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:06,977
Yea!
- Yea!
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,646
The boy shook with anger
he broke a sweat and felt ill!
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:10,981
When he remembered,
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,444
there were three mountain lion
cubs still alive on the hill!
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,737
Oh, yeah.
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,325
Hello?
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,078
Anybody in there?
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,373
Oh, no, it's the man-boy
who killed Mommy!
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,833
He's come to
kill us now!
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,544
It's okay, I died inside when
Mommy was killed anyways.
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,921
Yeah, better this
than the slow death
00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:37,132
we'd face without
a mother around.
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:38,842
Look, I'm sorry
I killed your mom.
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,635
The squirrel told me
she was evil.
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,763
You got tricked
by a squirrel?
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,265
Gee, you're not too smart,
are ya mister?
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,894
I'm trying to make this
alright again,
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,645
but the only thing that can
stop devil-worshipping critters
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,772
is a mountain lion.
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,607
Yeah,
and you killed her.
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,567
Well, you're mountain lions.
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,985
Us?
Nawww, we're just kids.
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,320
We still have
our baby teeth.
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,905
And baby claws.
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,907
And a dead mom.
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,743
There still has to be a way
for you
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:05,786
to kill the porcupine's baby.
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,331
What?
You mean like an abortion?
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,000
Yeah, an abortion!
That could work!
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045
But... We don't know
how to give abortions.
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,339
Do you know someplace
we can learn, mister?
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,467
"Where can they learn that,"
the boy said with a frown.
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,678
"I know, the abortion clinic
just outside of town!"
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,138
What?
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,432
So he picked up the cubs and
down the mountain he stormed,
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,810
and took them to where
abortions are performed!
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852
No, he didn't.
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,145
Yes, he did.
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,730
No, he didn't!
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,232
Yes, he did.
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,942
No, he didn't!
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,902
Yes, he... did!
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:40,612
Aw, God damn it!
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,614
... said the boy
in the red poofball hat!
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,158
We've made it already,
little cubs, fancy that!
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,328
Excuse me,
what are you doing here?
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372
... The abortion doctor
inquired.
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,124
If you wanna be in the O.R.,
a pass is required!
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,001
I don't know, I'm supposed
to show these mountain lions
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,128
how abortions are performed
or something.
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,463
I know,
it's ridiculous.
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,049
Well, you're in luck,
I'm happy to inform.
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,342
Its only three days
until Christmas
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,803
so I have lots of
abortions to perform!
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180
Gather round my table
cute little lions,
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,891
I'll teach you to do abortions
without even tryin'!
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,476
And so the little boy
and the cubs
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,978
gathered 'round
the chair base
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,481
and all day watched abortion
after abortion take place.
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,945
♪ Christmas time
is once a year ♪
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,449
♪ Every creature
holds it dear ♪
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,704
♪ Every animal big or small ♪
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:34,332
♪ Christmas means so much
to us all ♪
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,753
♪ It's once a year,
it's Christmas time ♪
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,965
♪ And it happens once a year ♪
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,927
♪ It's once a year
at Christmas time ♪
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,973
♪ When we hear about how
Christmas only comes ♪
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,058
♪ Once a year... ♪
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226
This better
have a point, dude.
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,519
This really better
have a point.
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479
♪ It's almost time
when the time is here ♪
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,315
♪ The time that's only
once a year-♪
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,442
Oh, look...
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,652
That little feller
is all alone!
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,946
Gee, he looks sad.
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,700
Hi there!
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,619
What the hell...?
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,622
How come you're all alone
on Christmas eve?
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,916
My... family doesn't
celebrate Christmas.
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,001
Awww, but why?
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,086
Well, because
we don't really...
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,421
Believe in Jesus.
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,465
Yea!
- Yea!
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:27,302
But does that mean...
you aren't baptized?
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,887
No, I'm Jewish.
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,889
Yea, yea!
- Yea, yea!
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,600
You got to
come with us!
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,435
You're perfect,
just p-p-perfect!
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,269
Huh?
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,729
Yea!
- Woo-hoo!
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,150
♪ What a special time
and special day ♪
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,860
♪ It's woodland critter
Christmas ♪
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,820
Hail Satan!
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:47,614
'Twas the night
before Christmas
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:50,283
and above the woods
way up high,
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,286
a new bright shiny star
hung in the sky...
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,247
For the world to be saved
there was only one shot,
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,086
a little boy with three cubs
with an abortion plot.
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,087
Okay, come on,
the critters are over this way.
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,838
You mountain lions ready
to stop the Antichrist
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,006
from being born?
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,008
Sure, we know how to
give abortions now!
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,260
He arrived at the critter forest
ready to fight
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:13,348
but then gasped when he saw
a most dreadful sight--
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,645
Gosh, we did it!
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,230
The critter Antichrist
is born.
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,065
Bringing a thousand years
of darkness to the forest.
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,485
Grgglglgl!
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,656
The Antichrist had been born,
sealing the world's fate.
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,408
The boy in
the red poof ball hat...
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,702
was too late.
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,577
Too late?
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:35,912
What the hell
is that?
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,747
Oh, hi-ya,
Stannie!
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:38,999
Stan!
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,208
Stan what the hell
is going on?!
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,711
It's critter Christmas dude,
it sucks ass!
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,131
Now all we got to do is put the
Antichrist into our human host!
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,841
Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,384
That's it?
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,137
10,000 years of darkness and I
don't have a Merry Christmas?
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,430
When up the sky,
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,473
the sound of sleigh bells
were heard!
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,852
And a jolly red sleigh flew
down to earth like a bird!
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,271
Hey, look!
Its Santie Claus!
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,397
Yea!
- Yea!
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,399
Let's eat
his flesh!
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,654
Alright, what the hell
is going on?
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,657
Why is there a red star
glowing in the sky?
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,409
We finally did it,
Santa!
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,994
We brought forth the
Antichrist with help
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,370
from our good friend Stannie!
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,622
Death and pain await
all living things!
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,459
Little boy,
you should be ashamed!
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,128
I didn't mean to help them,
I tried to stop them!
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,629
Well, good going, stupid!
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,341
There's only one way to stop
devil-worshiping critters!
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,012
Aaaghgh!
- Aaaghgh!
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,724
Dude, what the...?
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,605
Come on, dude.
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,612
Gee wiz, Santa, you're not
gonna kill me are y--
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,784
But Santa, what do we
do about the Antichrist?
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:59,496
Don't worry, boys,
the Antichrist cannot survive
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,123
without a human host body
to go into.
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,376
No... no, I want to have
the Antichrist inside me!
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,294
What...
Kyle!
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,046
With his power,
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:10,173
I can finally make the earth
a better place for the Jews!
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,092
Don't do it, Kyle!
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,554
Aarrhghgh!
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,473
Dude!
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,141
Yes... yes!
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,268
Now the Jews shall
take control of Christmas
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,062
once and for all...
Ahahahaahaa!
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,647
Oh, stop it, Cartman!
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,731
Just stop it!
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:27,690
That's enough!
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,984
You aren't reading another
sentence of your stupid story!
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,071
I don't believe anyone
interrupted you
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,697
when you read your
Christmas story aloud, Kyle.
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,449
This whole time your
stupid story was just a way
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,285
to rip on me for being Jewish
at Christmas again!
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,829
Mr. Garrison could you
do something, please?
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789
Sorry Eric, but if Kyle feels
discriminated against
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:46,042
you'll have to stop or else
I'll get a call from his mother.
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,044
Alright, fine,
forget it!
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,714
Well, but...
But what happened?
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,175
Yeah, did Kyle bring 1,000
years of darkness or not?
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,635
What happens
to the lion cubs?
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,178
Well, I guess
we'll never know
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,972
because Kyle doesn't wanna
hear how it ends.
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,223
No, it all worked out,
right?
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,808
The world was saved and I went
home for Christmas dinner.
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,601
Dude, why do you care?!
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,395
After all that
I at least wanna know
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,272
if I had a Merry Christmas or
if darkness rules the earth.
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,149
Oh, come on!
It's obvious what happens.
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,026
I get killed by Santa Claus
so that Christmas is saved!
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,862
That's not at all
what happens.
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,780
Aw, come on,
let him read us the end!
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,157
Yeah, yeah,
come on...
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,158
Yeah!
Let him do it!
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,118
Alright,
fine!
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,294
A-a-ahem...
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,671
"Oh, dear, my best friend is
possessed, how about that!"
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,174
said the little boy
in the red poof ball hat..."
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:36,384
Ha ha haaa!
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,137
Now I shall rule the--
ughh... aahghgh...
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,638
God it burns!
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,849
Aahhhh...
my soul is on fire!
00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:45,226
Ohhh, I don't like this.
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,271
I didn't know it would
feel so... dark and evil!
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,189
Well what did
you expect, dude?
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,523
It's the son of
the devil.
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,317
Oh God,
what have I done?
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,902
I'm sorry, please...
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,361
I don't wanna be the vessel
for the Antichrist!
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,822
I'm sorry but it's
too late, Kyle.
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,824
Santa's gonna
have to kill you.
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,367
No, Santa don't!
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,828
We don't have a choice,
in a few hours
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,915
the dark creature inside
him will consume his soul!
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,792
The little boy fretted,
he almost started to bawl...
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,088
But that's when he came up
with the best idea of all.
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,715
The lion cubs!
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,675
...The little boy
quickly begun...
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,385
I took them to see
how abortions are done!
00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:20,887
What?
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,431
Now, cubs do like they
showed you, hurry up fast
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,934
get the Antichrist of
my friend Kyle's ass!
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,229
And in the
twinkling starlight
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,897
each little cub
did their portion.
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,941
They remembered all
they had learned
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,984
and gave Kyle an abortion.
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,611
Aarhghgh...!
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,488
gagahrhgrh...!
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,031
Kill, destroy!
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:40,782
Ghghrhrhg!
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,951
Kill, destroy!
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,287
Gagahrhgrh--
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500
Thanks, everybody.
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,085
I'm sorry I got
a little crazy there.
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,378
Well, little boy,
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,546
it seems that you have
really been through a lot.
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,758
Is there any special present
you would like this year?
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,219
Yeah...
yeah there is.
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,895
What... oh my,
what happened?
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,105
Mommy?
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,523
Yea!
- You're back!
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:14,983
We missed you Mommy!
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,651
Oh, good.
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,403
And back home,
there were presents
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,780
and lots of food to get fat
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,782
and it was the best
Christmas ever
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:26,703
for the boy in
the red poof ball hat.
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:30,164
And they all lived
happily ever after.
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,668
Except for Kyle who died of AIDS
two weeks later.
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,963
[Kyle]
God damn it Cartman!
00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,632
♪ Christmas time
is once a year ♪
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:44,095
♪ Every creature
holds it dear ♪
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,099
♪ Every animal big or small ♪
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,644
♪ Christmas means
the world to us all ♪
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:55,773
♪ It's once a year,
it's Christmas time ♪
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:59,986
♪ When we hear about how
Christmas only comes ♪
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,280
♪ once a year ♪
rus__Y@R.srt
rus__Y@R.srt
00:00:37,350 --> 00:00:39,640
Высоко в горах в небольшом городке
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:42,690
Главные Улицы были украшены празднично все.
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,270
Подолгу Люди стоят в очередях, и все сметают с витрин
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,860
Чтобы Рождество получилось, люди спешат в магазин.
00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:52,450
Но в лесу, не слишком далеко...
00:00:52,780 --> 00:00:56,620
...Лесные твари готовились встретить их Рождество
00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:58,870
Почти наступило то время, Наступило оно здесь,
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,450
И оно только один раз в году.
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:01,870
Мы не можем его дождаться, и все потому
00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,000
что это Рождество Лесных Животных!
00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:07,090
Мелкие твари трудились также как счастливо пели
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,880
И все они весьма интересные имена имели
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,970
Была Белочка белка, Крольченок кролик,
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,430
Бобрик бобер, и Медвеженок медведь
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,390
Дикобразиха дикобраз, Скунсик скунс,
00:01:18,810 --> 00:01:21,640
Лисенок лиса, и Олененок олень
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Дятел дятел, Мышонок мышь,
00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:28,730
И Синичка Синица, а весь лес был их домом.
00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:32,650
И наткнулся на это в тот прекраснейший день
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Удивленный маленький мальчик, с красным помпоном на голове.
00:01:38,410 --> 00:01:39,330
Какого черта?
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,750
Святки всего лишь один раз в году
00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:47,920
Каждая тварь дорожит этим
00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:52,090
Каждое животное, большое или маленькое
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:57,090
Рождество так много для нас всех значит
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,600
Ну так привет. Добро пожаловать в наш лес.
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,020
Как тебе нравиться наша Рождественская елка?
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,640
Это... мило.
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:07,230
Да ведь это - самое прекрасное дерево в лесу!
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,940
О нет, я вижу проблему.
00:02:11,230 --> 00:02:11,940
какую, Мышонок?
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,530
у Нашей елки нет звезды.
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Ах!
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У нас не может быть елки без звезды на ней.
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Что нам делать?
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,500
Не грустите, Возможно наш новый друг поможет нам найти звезду.
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,870
О пожалуйста? Ты мог бы помочь нам?
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,000
Хорошо, хорошо.
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:34,710
Взяв кусочек бумаги с радостью приступил к труду,
00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:38,390
Мальчик в красном помпоне на шляпе сделал для елки звезду
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,260
Ах
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Это - лучшая звезда, которую я когда-либо видел.
00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:47,690
Лесные твари радовались, и Бобрик с улыбкой сказал
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Не хотел бы ты петь и танцевать с нами пока не устал?
00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,110
Мальчик в красном помпоне на шляпе улыбнулся и сказал
00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:56,360
Мм, нет, спасибо, я собираюсь идти домой.
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,320
Пока Стэнни!
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:02,660
До свидания, Стэнни! Пока!
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,260
Привет, Стэнни!
00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:17,090
О, какого?
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,470
Все друзья были там! какое приятное удивление
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,470
Мальчик был счастлив, скажу вам без тени сомнения
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Сколько времени?
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:28,230
Ты не поверишь тому, что случилось, Стэнни. Это - самый большой Рождественский подарок
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,900
Дикобразиха беременна!
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Вы как хотите, а я должен пойти завтра школу.
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Она на сносях, мальчик не понимает серьезность происходящего.
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Дикобразиха - девственница, Стэнни. Ее концепция безупречна.
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Она собирается рождать нашего Бога-Спасителя.
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...Что?
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Это было предсказано мне во сне, что я буду рожать на Рождество.
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:47,410
это уже скоро!
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:48,410
Как восхитительно!
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,500
Наши души спасены!
00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:52,790
Наконец-то у животных будет Спаситель, их собственный,
00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:58,470
Есть только одна проблема: У нас нет яслей в которых бы мог родиться наш Спаситель
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Но у нас должны быть ясли.
00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:04,970
Можете ты сделаешь это, Стэн. Ты можешь построить нам ясли? ААА
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,400
"хорошо, я построю вам ясли!" мальчик с улыбкой сказал,
00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:15,480
И примкнув к животным в лес зашагал!
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А в лесу мальчик с помпоном ринулся прямо вперед,
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создание яслей для малыша, вот что растопило сердца лед
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Ну дела, это самые милые ясли, которые я когда-либо видел.
00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:31,620
мне кажется, что это будет подходящим местом для Сына нашего Бога.
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,170
Это значит, что мы можем теперь лечь спать?
00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:37,250
У Моего Сына будет самое хорошее ложе во всем лесу.
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В самый раз для короля!
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Это будет лучшим Рождеством Лесных животных!
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:42,930
Почти наступило то время, Наступило оно здесь,
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И оно только один раз в году.
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Мы не можем его дождаться, и все потому
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,220
Ну все я ухожу
00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:51,060
горная львица! прячься!
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пошла вон!
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она - Ушла?
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,870
Я полагаю.
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,620
Я не выйду.
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,540
все, это - конец. львица очевидно знает, что Дикобразиха беременна,
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и она собирается убить ее снова.
00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:15,130
Снова?
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:19,880
Каждое Рождество львица спускается и съедает девственную тварь, в чреве которой Сын нашего Бога.
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:21,880
О боже, я так боюсь.
00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:26,260
Давайте разберемся. львица никак не дает нашему Спасителю родиться.
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Эй, мы не должны быть кинуты на это Рождество. У нас есть Стэнни!
00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:36,230
Конечно! Стэнни может сделать что-нибудь! Если он может построить ясли, он может остановить горную львицу!
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:37,940
Рождество спасено!
00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,990
Высоко в лесу на темном, скалистом холме,
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Ужасная львица охотилась на что-то слабое.
00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:51,200
Чтобы рождество спасти - львицу надо убить на горе
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,120
черт побери, как это бл*дь нелепо!
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,830
Сказал маленький мальчик в красном помпоне на голове.
00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,500
Убить львицу не очень то просто,
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,590
План разработать надо очень быстро
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,300
Давай Выходи!
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:14,730
давай, убийца животных! Твои дни кровопролития невинных животных сочтены!
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:37,290
вспышка-все кончено! больше не быть беде!
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,090
львица лежит убитой на холодной земле
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Вот и все.
00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:50,180
Мама? Мама!
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проснись, Мама, проснись!
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Не оставляй нас, Мама.
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:05,240
человеческий детеныш, почему? Почему ты убил нашу маму? Почему?
00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:12,580
Я...... твари. Их... рождение Спасителя?
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,210
котята заплакали и вжались в бездыханное тело,
00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:21,500
одни во всем мире остались, и душа их матери улетела
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,510
все хорошо, Леди Дикобразиха?
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,510
Ах, да, только чувствую легкие толчки внутри
00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:39,100
Ну все, это слишком затянулось. Я боюсь, что наш полезный друг Стэнни умер.
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,400
Да, львица, вероятно, проглотила его целиком.
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:45,320
Я считаю, что это означает, что наш Спаситель станет чьим-то ужином.
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:48,950
подождите, смотрите!
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:52,530
Стэнни!
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,370
Стэнни, ты жив.
00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:58,500
Но, это означает, что ты убил львицу?
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Она мертва.
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,000
по настоящему, правда?
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:02,920
Ты уверен.
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,000
Я уверен. Это не должно беспокоить вас больше.
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,380
Он сделал это! Теперь Рождество животных наконец состоится! приветствуйте Сатану!
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:11,840
приветствуйте Сатану!
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,350
стоп, что за?
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:19,730
Ты принес нам огромную пользу, Стэнни! Без львицы в лесу, Леди Дикобразиха может родить Антихриста!
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:21,100
Сатана!
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:23,860
что, Антихрист? вы сказали, что она родит нашего спасителя!
00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:26,190
Да, Сына нашего Бога, сатану,
00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,690
Но я думал, что вы говорите о Сыне Бога!
00:08:28,110 --> 00:08:30,650
Хорошо, думая об этом: Ты действительно думал, что у Бога мог быть секс с дикобразом?
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:33,950
да ладно! Только сатана, принц Темноты и Король всего Зла сделал бы это! да!
00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:38,330
приступим к празднованию! Давайте принесем Крольченока в жертву и съедим его плоть!
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:40,040
да! Пожертвуйте меня Дьяволу!
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:52,930
Выпей его кровь! Выпей его кровь!
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:58,520
Оргия крови!
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,640
ДА, оргия крови! Оргия крови, да!
00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:09,820
Какое особенное время и особенный день,
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:11,360
Это - Рождество Лесных Тварей.
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,070
приветствуйте Сатану
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,620
В свежем лесу, очищенном в утре Сочельника,
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,540
лесные твари готовились к Антихриста дня рождения.
00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:25,330
Благородная львица останавливающая зло минувшие года,
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:29,340
теперь лежала бездыханной как хорошая спящая сова.
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:32,760
И тем временем три детёныша плакали недалеко.
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,720
Для них Рождество было кончено всё,
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,720
Спокойствие леса нарушено, слух прошел о Сатане.
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:44,520
Все это из-за маленького мальчика с красным помпоном на голове.
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:45,640
Тьфу.
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,230
Теперь, когда он убил благородную королеву льва,
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:50,820
никто не сможет остановить приближение Апокалипсиса
00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,780
"Я знаю!" сказал он, улыбнувшись уверенно
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,570
"Я вернусь в лес и исправлю последствия наделанного!"
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,120
нет-нет-нет.
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:03,370
Он выбежал в гостиную, выключил свет,
00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:06,040
и поспешил в лес, чтоб исправить последствие наделанных бед!
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,880
...и поспешил в лес, чтоб исправить последствие наделанных бед!
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,100
...Он пробовал забыться, телевизор смотря
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,270
но совесть догнала его, ведь в лесу же беда.
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,520
...Он думал, что мог скрыться от насущных проблем!
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,690
но в душе готовил план, чтоб свободней стало всем!
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,490
Оставь меня в покое!
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:37,110
Он знал, что только пойдя в лес он мог -
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,120
Хорошо хорошо хорошо! Бог!
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:45,700
Эй, посмотрите все Это - наш старый приятель, Стэнни.
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,290
О парень, Ты приехал как раз вовремя!
00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:51,630
Да. У нас большая проблема.
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,420
Сатана приказал, чтобы, мы предоставили человеческое тело когда Антихрист родится, чтобы его дух переселился в него
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,090
И он станет властелином целого мира.
00:10:59,470 --> 00:11:02,560
Человек должен быть некрещеный и Языческий
00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:04,890
Мы решили, что ты подойдешь идеально!
00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,020
Да!
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,980
Я не язычник! Меня крестили и моя семья - христиане!
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,230
Но мы должны достать человеческое тело для Антихриста.
00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:18,740
О дорогой, может у нас будет рождество тварей в следующий раз.
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,160
не падайте духом, все. Стэнни поможет нам найти некрещеного человека язычника.
00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:23,580
ты сделаешь это, Стэнни?
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:27,160
Нет! Я не сделаю для вас больше одолжений, и я не позволю вам родить Антихриста!
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,000
Я приехал сюда, чтобы положить конец всему этому!
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:30,670
Остановить нас?
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:36,590
Ну и дела, Стэн, если ты пробуешь остановить нас, мы должны будем использовать нашу сатанинскую мощь против тебя.
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:38,090
ладно, что угодно.
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,720
Я сломаю ясли, которые построил.
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:57,360
О парень! Наша сатанинская мощь сделала свое дело!
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,030
Наша мощь становятся сильнее с каждым днем, сильнее с каждым днем!
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,990
Жаль Стэнни, но ты видишь, что ничто не может остановить рождение Антихриста,
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:04,330
за исключением львицы.
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:05,660
а ты избавился от нее.
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:06,740
Да!
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,250
Мальчика трясло от гнева! решено. Быть войне
00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:14,750
Тут он вспомнил, что три детёныша, все еще живые на холме!
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:16,500
О да.
00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:24,470
Привет? кто-нибудь есть тут
00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:28,180
О нет, это - человеческий детеныш, который убил нашу Маму!
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,730
Он пришел, чтобы убить теперь и нас.
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,810
хорошо. У меня в нутрии все умерло, когда Мама покинула нас.
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,820
Да, лучше это, чем медленная смерть, без матери рядом с нами.
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:40,530
Слушайте, я сожалею, что я убил вашу маму., белка сказала мне, что она была злой.
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,990
Тебя обманула белка? Ну и дела, ты не слишком то умен?
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,410
Я попробую не повестись на это снова, но единственное, что может остановить тварей поклоняться дьяволу - львица!
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,370
Да, ты убил ее.
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,080
Хорошо, но вы - львы.
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,550
Мы? Нет, мы - только дети. У нас все еще молочные зубы.
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,010
И детские когти.
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,300
И мертвая мама.
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,850
Все еще должен быть выход, для того чтобы убить ребенка дикобраза.
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,220
Что? Ты имеешь в виду аборт?
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:12,140
Да. аборт. Это может помочь.
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,350
Но, мы не знаем, как делать аборты.
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,770
Ты знаешь такое место, где могут научить нас, мистер?
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,280
" где можно научиться?" мальчик с хмурым взглядом сказал.
00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:23,400
"Я знаю! Клинику Абортов в городе" где я однажды бывал
00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:24,410
Что?!
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:27,320
он собрал детёнышей и пошел вниз горы,
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:29,700
В клинику, где научат их делать аборты.
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,250
Нет, он это не сделал.
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:32,290
Да он сделал.
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:33,580
Нет, не сделал!
00:13:33,910 --> 00:13:34,960
Да сделал.
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,290
Нет, он этого не сделал!
00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:37,750
Да он это
00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:39,250
сделал!
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:40,670
Ай Черт подери!
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:45,300
Сказал мальчик в красном помпоне на голове! "Мы это уже сделали! Представь себе!"
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,180
Извини, что ты делаешь здесь?!
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,100
Доктор спросил.
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,930
хочешь быть тут, Надо чтобы ты все объяснил
00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:56,900
Я не знаю, я должен показать этим львам, как выполнить аборт или что-то еще,
00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:58,610
я... Я знаю, это глупо
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,070
Хорошо, я счастлив, сообщить, что тебе повезло!
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,650
так много абортов у меня всегда на рождество!
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:07,200
Соберись вокруг моего стола, не раскрывайте сильно рот,
00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:09,780
Смотрите внимательно, Я буду учить вас делать аборт!
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,620
маленький мальчик c котятами собрались вокруг стола,
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:16,330
И весь день смотрели на аборт за абортом, вот это да
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:22,670
Святки всего лишь один раз в году
00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:26,840
Каждая тварь дорожит этим
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:30,810
Каждое животное, большое или маленькое
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:34,560
Рождество так много для нас всех значит
00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:38,020
Это - один раз в году, это - Святки!
00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:42,150
И это случается один раз в году.
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,610
Это - один раз в году, это - Святки!
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,120
И мы знаем, что Рождество бывает только
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,450
Один раз в году.
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,750
лучше бы у этого всего был смысл, чувак. Лучше бы это имело смысл.
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:56,830
Почти наступило то время, Наступило оно здесь,
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,670
И оно только один раз в году.
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:02,550
О просмотрите. этот маленький лесоруб совершенно один.
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,800
Ну и дела, он выглядит таким грустным.
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:07,800
Приветики!
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:10,510
Что, за чертовщина?
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:13,560
почему ты совершенно один в Сочельник.
00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:16,270
Моя... семья не празднует Рождество.
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:17,890
но почему?
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:21,190
Ну, потому что, мы как бы не верим в Иисуса.
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,360
Да
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:27,400
Но это означает, что тебя не крестили?
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:28,780
Нет, я еврей.
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:30,700
Да! Да!
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:33,240
Ты должен идти с нами!
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,370
Ты идеальный! идеальный
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:36,040
А?
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,030
Какое особенное время и особенный день,
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,610
Это - Рождество Лесных Тварей.
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:44,990
приветствуйте Сатану
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:49,410
Выше макушек деревьев, В ночь на Рождество
00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:53,240
новая яркая звезда зажглась в небе высоко.
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,040
Для мира, который будет спасен, есть один шанс, знайте вы
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:59,710
мальчик с тремя львятам со знанием как делать аборты.
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,460
Хорошо, пойдемте, твари - в этой стороне. Вы львята, готовы помешать Антихристу родиться?
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,550
конечно. Мы же знаем теперь, как делать аборт.
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,140
Он достиг места тварей, скоро будет борьба
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,350
Но там злую шутку сыграла судьба.
00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:18,690
Парни, мы сделали это!
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,940
Антихрист рожден, принеся тысячу лет темноты к лесу.
00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:29,280
Антихрист родился, будущее вселенной предрешено.
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:33,410
Мальчик в красном помпоне на шляпе пришел слишком поздно.
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:35,750
Слишком поздно? что это значит?
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,540
О. приветик, Стэнни!
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,920
Стэн! Стэн, КАКОГО ЧЕРТА здесь происходит?!
00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:42,170
Это - Рождество животных, чувак! Это полный отсос!
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:46,170
Теперь все, что мы должны сделать, это поместить дух Антихриста в тело человека.
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,760
Давайте! Быстрее!
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:51,760
это все?! Десять тысяч лет темноты и ни какого счастливого Рождества?!
00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:58,520
и вдруг в небе послышалось колокольчиков песнь, веселые красные сани несли радостную весть!
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,190
эй, просмотри, это Санта Клаус!
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,360
да!
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,070
Давайте съедим его плоть!
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:12,370
Так это что за вашу мать тут происходит?! Почему - красная звезда, пылает в небе?!
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:16,620
Мы наконец сделали это, Санта! Мы добились появления Антихриста с помощью нашего хорошего друга,
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:17,370
Стэнни.
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,620
Смерть и боль ждут всех живых существ.
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,630
МАЛЕНЬКИЙ мальчик, тебе должно быть стыдно!
00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:24,670
я не хотел помогать им, я пробовал остановить их!
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,920
Да уж хорошенькое дельце! Есть только один способ остановить тварей поклоняться дьяволу!
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:36,770
Чувак, что за?
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,890
Силы тебе Санта!
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:43,610
давай, чувак.
00:17:47,530 --> 00:17:50,700
Ну и дела, Санта, ты не собираешься убить меня, ты же -
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,740
Но Санта, что нам делать с Антихристом?
00:17:56,370 --> 00:18:02,000
Не волнуйся, малыши. Антихрист не может выжить, не попадя в человеческое тело.
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:02,830
Не,
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:05,210
нет, я хочу иметь Антихриста в себе!
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:06,290
Что? Кайл?
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,130
С его властью, я могу наконец сделать землю лучше для Евреев!
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,760
Не делай этого, Кайл!
00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:18,350
Чувак!
00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:23,020
Да, да! Теперь Евреи возьмут под свой контроль Рождество раз и навсегда!
00:18:24,690 --> 00:18:25,610
О, остановись, Картмэн!
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:29,610
Просто остановись! Этого - достаточно! Ты больше не прочитаешь ни строчки своей глупой истории!
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,610
Я полагаю, что никто не прерывал бы ТЕБЯ, когда ты будешь читать свою Рождественскую историю вслух,
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,070
Кайл.
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,080
Вся твоя глупая история только очередной способ поиздеваться надо мной, и над евреями на Рождество!
00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:40,750
мистер Гаррисон, вы не могли бы сделать что-нибудь, пожалуйста?
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:46,080
Жаль, Эрик, но если Кайл чувствует себя дискриминированным, тебе бы лучше остановиться, а то мне будет звонить его мать.
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,670
Ну ладно, хорошо! Забудьте это!
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,720
но, но что случилось дальше?
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,300
Да. Кайл принес тысячу лет темноты или нет?
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:55,760
Что случилось с львятами?
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,890
ну, я предполагаю, что мы никогда не узнаем, потому что Кайл не хочет слышать, как все закончится.
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,730
Нет, все удалось, верно? Мир был спасен, и я пришел домой на Рождественский ужин.
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,480
Чувак, какая тебе разница?!
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,060
я просто хочу знать, что будет управлять землей, Рождество Христово или черная мгла.
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,030
О да ладно! Все легко предсказуемо! Я убит Санта Клаусом и Рождество спасено!
00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:13,700
Это не так закончиться.
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,860
Ой да ладно тебе. Позволь ему прочитать нам до конца.
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,070
Да да, давай!
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:20,080
Ну и ладно, хорошо!
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:33,970
"О боже, мой лучший друг попал в пасть сатане" сказал маленький мальчик с красным помпоном на голове.
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:37,180
Теперь я буду управлять.
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:43,220
Боже как жжет! Моя душа Горит! О, мне это не нравиться!
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,100
Я не знал, какого это чувствовать себя... темным и злым!
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,400
Хорошо, чего ты ожидал, чувак? Это - сын Дьявола.
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:51,690
О Боже, что я наделал?
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,320
мне жаль. Пожалуйста, я не хочу быть телом для Антихриста.
00:19:55,820 --> 00:20:00,080
Мне очень жаль, но уже поздно, Кайл! Санта, собирающийся убить тебя!
00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:01,330
нет Санта, не надо!
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:06,580
У нас нет выбора. Через несколько часов, темная сторона внутри него полностью истребит его душу.
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:10,000
Маленький мальчик взволнован. Он почти что кричал
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:14,130
Но то, что он придумал, было лучше и он это знал.
00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:15,470
львята!
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,260
Маленький мальчик, решился сказать
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,220
Я брал их смотреть, как аборты делать.
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,390
Что?
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,760
Львята, покажите чему вас доктор научил
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,890
вытащите дьявола из жопы Кайла и не берегите сил
00:20:27,890 --> 00:20:31,190
И в мерцании звезд, каждый львенок сделал что мог.
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:34,820
Они помнили все, что узнали и сделали Кайлу аборт.
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Спасибо, вам. мне очень жаль, что я немного сошел с ума.
00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:54,090
Хорошо маленький мальчик, кажется, ТЫ,
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:58,510
действительно многому сегодня научился. Есть ли какой-нибудь специальный подарок, который ты бы хотел в этом году?
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,840
Да. Да, есть.
00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:11,060
о что случилось?
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,110
Мама?
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,770
Ты вернулась! Мы тосковали без тебя, Мама!
00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:16,230
Хорошо
00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:20,280
а дома, были подарки, и много еды, и остальное фуфло
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:25,950
для мальчика с красным помпоном на голове это было лучшее Рождество
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:32,910
И они все жили счастливо долгие года, Все кроме Кайла, который умер от СПИДа две недели спустя.
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:35,500
Конец!
00:21:35,710 --> 00:21:36,500
Картмэн черт подери
00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:40,010
Christmastime is once a year
00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:44,050
Every creature holds it dear
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:47,890
Every animal big or small
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,900
Christmas means the world to us all
00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:55,770
It's once a year, it's Christmastime
00:21:56,110 --> 00:22:03,620
When we hear about how Christmas only comes Once a year.
Скриншоты
