Goobacks
Описание
Горожане в ярости, так как город заполонили пришельцы из будущего, готовые работать за копейки — ведь в 3045 году наступит тотальная безработица.
Субтитры
eng__.srt
eng__.srt
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,621
G'rlkr.
00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,796
B'rk!
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,255
Aah!
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,473
G'rk!
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,019
Yes?
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,854
Hello, ma'am.
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,774
We're going around town and
offering snow-shoveling service.
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,984
Would you like your driveway
and sidewalk shoveled
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,861
for $8,000?
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,197
Oh. Well, I certainly could use
some little snow shovelers.
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,366
But $8,000 seems a little steep.
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,076
How about $10?
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,369
Ooh. Ouch.
Ma'am, please.
00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,246
Let go of that tight grip
you have on my balls.
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,123
$10.
You're breaking my balls, ma'am.
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,375
- How about $15?
- It's a deal.
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,669
All right, guys.
Let's get to work!
00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,050
Yeah. Yeah.
It was totally awesome.
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,885
Craig crapped his pants
when he saw it.
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,262
Yeah.
Sweet.
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,389
So, what's going on over there?
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,474
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,560
No way!
He did not!
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:25,437
Aw, dude, that is so weak.
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:26,605
What?
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,524
You've been on your
fucking phone since we started.
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,733
Dude, I'm taking a break.
00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,527
A break from what?!
You haven't done anything!
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,487
Kyle, how many times
do we have to go through this?
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,572
I'm the negotiator.
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,240
I negotiate our price
with the customers.
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,117
All you ever do
is talk about your balls!
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,160
It works, doesn't it?
00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:40,744
Did I not just get us
an extra five bucks?
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,121
If you want your share
of the money,
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,998
then you're gonna shovel snow
like the rest of us!
00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:46,167
Hey, don't boss me around,
you fucking Jew!
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,877
I will kick your ass!
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,842
Ma'am, do you have a rag
and some bandages?
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,635
Oh, goodness.
What happened?
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,345
Shoveling accident.
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,514
Oh, no.
Come on inside.
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,435
Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,188
You're so lucky
I have a sore shoulder, Kyle,
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,689
or else I would have
let you have it.
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,357
Cartman, just keep
your mouth shut.
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,734
This is breaking news.
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,360
Here's anchorman Aaron Brown.
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,988
Incredible,
absolutely amazing news today.
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,908
A man from the future
has come back in time
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and is in a government hospital
after being hit by a car.
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,579
Whoa.
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,539
Kristina Nalen has more.
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,916
The news is incredible, Aaron.
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,334
Experts and scientists have been
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,419
with the man from the future
for several hours now
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and have been able to learn
that he is from the year 3045.
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,798
His condition is stable,
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,301
and speculation continues
as to why he has come.
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,428
Has he come to deliver
a cure for cancer
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,555
or to fix something
wrong with the past?
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,224
Have to interrupt you there,
Kristina.
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,975
Apparently Brad Morgan
is inside the base
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,310
with breaking news -- Brad?
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,938
Aaron, the scientists have been
able to communicate further
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,064
and have uncovered
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that the man from 1,000 years
in the future
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,652
has come to our time
looking for work.
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:56,237
He has said that the future
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,113
is so overwhelmingly
overpopulated
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,407
that there are simply no jobs
in his time,
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:01,867
and so he built a time portal
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,078
and has come back
to 21st-century America
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:05,120
to find a job here.
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,664
That is absolutely astounding.
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:07,957
He came back here for work?
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,625
Uh, that's right, Aaron.
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,919
His plan is to get a job
here in our time
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,921
so that he can put
the money he earns
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,423
into a savings account,
which will earn interest,
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,551
and by the year 3045
be worth billions of dollars --
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,053
which, of course, in the future
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,930
will be worth
only hundreds of dollars,
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,848
but enough, he says,
to feed his family.
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,100
And now I understand
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:28,060
we're going to Harrison Moore
for an explanation
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,728
on how the time portal works --
Harrison?
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,147
Aaron, I am standing
at the time portal
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which scientists say
follows "Terminator" rules --
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That is, it's one-way only,
and you can't go back.
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,948
This is in contrast to, say,
"Back to the Future" rules,
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,616
where back and forth
is possible,
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and of course,
"Timerider" rules,
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,703
which are just plain silly.
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,955
Anyway, it appears that
the man from the future
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is here to stay.
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,584
Mom! Dad!
Did you see?
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,169
They found a man
from the future!
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,963
We know, Stanley.
We've been watching.
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,173
If you're just joining us,
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,050
a man from over 2,000 years
into the future
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,428
has come through a one-way
time portal looking for work.
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,804
Uh, the president is expected
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,431
to give an announcement
at any time.
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,391
Breaking news here
at the time portal, Aaron.
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:11,020
It appears another person from
the future has just arrived!
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,730
It looks as if
the job at Wendy's
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,523
did work for
the original immigrant.
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,650
This second arrivee
claims that man's family
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,818
is now much better off
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,862
and wishes the same
for his family.
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,992
There you go.
All set, sweetie?
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,328
Mom, can we go try to see
the people from the future?
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:29,496
I have a bunch of questions
I want to ask them.
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,123
I'm sure a lot of people do,
hon.
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,666
It's pretty exciting, isn't it?
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,002
Now, you just get some sleep.
You've had a busy day.
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,712
Good night, sweetie.
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,423
Night, Mom.
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842
Wow.
Two people from the future.
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,761
How cool.
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G'lr.
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G'gr g'rhr.
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,031
G'lr. Gr.
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,379
- Yes?
- Hello, Mrs. Landis.
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,255
Would you like snow-shoveling
service again today?
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,673
Ooh.
Oh, dear.
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:22,883
I'm sorry, boys,
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,927
but I've already hired
someone else to do it.
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,220
What?! Who?!
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,888
One of those immigrants
from the future.
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,890
He said he would do it
for 25 cents.
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,726
25 cents?
But that's not even worth it!
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,479
All right, guys. Come on.
We'll just go to the next house.
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:37,648
Dude.
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,530
Son of a bitch.
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,323
Still more immigrants
from the future
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,908
arrived at the time border
today,
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,910
some even bringing
their entire families.
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,079
The purplish goo that
they have on their bodies
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,206
when they arrive
is an ectoplasmic side effect
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,582
of the time-travel process.
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,835
This is all giving scientists
a great opportunity
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,254
to learn even more about
American life in the future.
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,797
Chris Hall joins us now.
Chris?
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924
Yes, there are incredible
things we're learning
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,801
about Americans in the future,
Aaron.
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,929
It appears that in the future
Americans have evolved
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,932
into a hairless,
uniform mix of all races.
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,225
They are all one color,
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,311
which is a yellowy,
light-brownish, whitish color.
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,939
It seems race is no longer
an issue in the future
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,567
because all ethnicities
have mixed into one.
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:22,818
Perhaps most interesting
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,945
is how this has affected
their language.
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,322
The people in the future
speak a complete mix
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,283
of English, Chinese, Turkish,
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,868
and, indeed,
all world languages,
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,536
which sounds something
like this...
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621
Foik flank'en fark.
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,914
Back to you, Aaron.
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,624
Apparently,
the people from the future
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,543
are having a pretty easy time
finding work.
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,503
Since they offer to work
for such low wages,
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,964
they're being hired
all over America.
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,591
This is bullcrap!
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,342
- We don't like this!
- I ain't standin' for this!
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I'm mad as hell!
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,471
All right, folks,
my name is Daryl Weathers,
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,723
and I'm with
the construction workers union.
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,185
I work with a lot of fine men
who have families to feed.
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,311
I don't know about y'all,
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,063
but we worked long and hard
to get our pay up to a level
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,857
where we could make
a decent living.
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,027
And now these people
from the future are showing up
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,988
and offering to do the same work
for next to nothin'!
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,948
They took our jobs!
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,492
Yeah!
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:12,951
- They sure did!
- They did!
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,495
We're in the moving business.
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,997
Fourteen years
we been working our butts off.
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,167
Now these future folk come in,
and we can't get work nowhere!
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,668
Well, they took our jobs!
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,170
They took yer job!
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,796
- They took your jobs, too!
- Took yer job!
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,965
What about us
in the fast-food business?
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,634
The restaurants are firing us
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,178
'cause the future people
work for a lot less.
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,388
They took our jobs!
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,182
- They took their jobs!
- They took their jobs!
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,184
- They took yer job!
- Took yer jobs!
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,810
It's affecting kids, too.
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,812
Me and my friends started
our own snow-shoveling business.
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,981
We were trying to be responsible
and make money, you know?
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,733
But then the people
from the future came along,
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818
and now we're out of work, too!
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,155
Oh.
They took our jobs!
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,908
- They took yer job!
- They took yer job!
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,160
- Yeah!
- Dook yer durrr!
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,015
Gl'r gl'r g'r g'rg.
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,527
Stanley, it's almost 8:00.
Where have you been?
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,404
I was at a rally to protest
all the immigrants
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:31,822
from the future coming in
and trying --
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823
Glrk'a?
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,950
Oh, yes, the laundry machine
is down in the basement.
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,411
And our son is home. Could you
please set the table for dinner?
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,371
G'oh.
G'up r'up!
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,622
Who is that?
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,499
That's our new housekeeper,
Mrs. Gw'arh.
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,127
She's gonna help around the
house on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,212
And she'll do it
for 10 cents an hour.
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,422
Aw, but that's the problem.
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,465
Those goobacks
are takin' our jobs!
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,509
- What?!
- Oh, my God!
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,846
Stan Marsh, how dare you use
that time-bashing slur?!
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,681
Who taught you to talk
like that?
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,808
Well, dude, they a re taking
people's jobs away.
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,810
They're only taking
the small, menial jobs
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,562
that nobody else
really wants to do.
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,063
I wanted my job!
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,482
Hey, Stanley, you need
to understand something.
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,776
Those people from the future
have had a hard life.
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,863
Where they come from is dirty
and overpopulated and poor.
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,657
You can't even imagine the kind
of depression they come from.
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,576
So for us,
who have everything so good,
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,910
to judge them is wrong.
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:19,953
Do you understand?
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,706
Next time you think about
calling them goobacks,
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,249
you might want
to just stop for a second
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,043
and think about how crappy
the future really is.
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,127
That's right.
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,546
We're not raising our son
to be an ignorant timecist.
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672
T-Timecist?
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,215
You know -- a racist,
but against people from --
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,884
People from the future.
Right. Got it.
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:34,926
All right.
Good.
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:35,927
Now let's all go eat
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,722
some of Mrs. Gw'arh's
great future cooking.
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,392
And now here is Bill O'Reilly.
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,062
Welcome, welcome to
the No Spin Zone, all right?
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,521
And what we're
talking about today
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,232
are the immigrants
from the future, all right?
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,526
Most people are more than happy
to give a helping hand
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,654
to these people who obviously
need it, all right?
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,280
But others are starting to say
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,325
that the time portal
should be closed off, all right?
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,993
Now, I've got two guests
with me tonight
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,578
who have opposing views
on the matter.
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,914
On my right
is pissed-off white-trash
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:05,165
redneck conservative.
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,917
Thanks for having me, Bill.
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:10,337
And on my left
is aging hippie liberal douche.
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,421
Hello.
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,506
Now, pissed-off redneck,
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,549
you say we shouldn't
allow anyone else
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,926
through the time portal,
all right?
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,761
You're goddamn right.
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,764
These people from the future
are taking all the work away
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,809
from us decent
present-day Americans.
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,019
They took our jobs!
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,979
They took our jobs!
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:31,316
Those jobs belong to people
from the present!
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,234
All right.
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,361
What say you,
aging hippie liberal douche?
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,822
It's typical for
conservative rednecks like these
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,782
to view the immigrants
as the problem.
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,284
But really the problem
is America.
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,370
It is our greedy
multinational corporations
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,163
that keep everyone else
in poverty.
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,332
Your ancestors came to America
as immigrants.
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,710
What right do you have
to turn these people away?
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,212
All right.
Redneck, your rebuttal?
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,049
They took our jobs!
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,843
They took our jobs!
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,011
Durk er durrr!
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,640
All right, children.
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,309
The school board has mandated
that I must now teach class
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:09,396
in both present-day English
and Futurespeak.
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:10,772
What?
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,734
So with that in mind, let's
continue our lessons on verbs.
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,319
Remember that there are
transitive verbs such as,
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,322
"The boy threw the red ball,"
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:23,076
which in Futurespeak,
of course, is g'rk gr'kle r'glk.
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,495
Everyone say it with me.
G'rk gr'kle r'glk.
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,956
G'rk gr'kle r'glk.
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,208
G'rk r'g-g-g--lk.
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,961
And there are intransitive
verbs, such as,
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:37,674
"The 11:15 bus from Denver
arrived 12 hours late."
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,011
Or in Futurespeak, g'lrk.
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,679
G'lrk.
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,556
Dude, hold on.
This is bullcrap!
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,974
If they want to live
in our time,
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,434
then they should learn
our language!
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,685
- Yeah!
- Right!
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,063
Hey, now, these immigrants have
a right to retain their culture.
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,107
Who are we to say
our language is best?
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,650
They deserve
to have an education
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,235
just as much as you do.
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,488
Thank you,
aging hippie liberal douche.
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,989
You betcha.
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,908
Timmy!
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,701
Okay, now.
Let's get back to it, kids.
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,536
Which kind of verb is this?
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,414
"The sad girl puts balls
in her mouth."
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,082
Or, in Futurespeak, of course --
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,877
G'rk g'rak balls g'rk g'rk.
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,462
This is bullcrap!
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,088
- We don't like this!
- I ain't standin' for this!
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,465
Listen up, everybody.
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:22,511
We've just received a reply
from our congressman.
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,763
"Dear intolerant rednecks,
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,849
we sympathize with you all
losing your jobs.
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,269
However, we feel your solution
of shooting everyone
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,439
who crosses the time border
is inhumane."
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,857
- What?
- That's ridiculous!
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,109
- They can't do that!
- That was a good idea!
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,029
So it appears the government
ain't gonna help us,
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,074
which means we got to take
matters into our own hands.
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,785
The only way to stop people
from the future
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,788
is to stop the future
from happening.
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,872
Hey, that's right!
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,123
If there is no future,
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,459
then there'll be no people
fro m the future
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,127
to come back and take our jobs!
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,712
Dur er durrr!
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:58,964
All right.
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:04,177
So any ideas how we can stop
the future from happening?
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,306
How about we cause
more global warming
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,768
so that in the future
the polar ice caps melt,
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,938
a-and it ushers in
a new ice age?
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,486
How the hell is global warming
gonna cause an ice age?
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,489
Well, you know, the global
warming could bring on,
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,741
like, a climate shift
or something.
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,327
Chet, you are a fuckin' retard.
You know that?
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913
Even if global warming
were real --
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,457
which all proven scientific data
shows it isn't --
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,003
it would take millions of years
for a climate shift to happen.
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:41,006
You think an ice age can just
happen all of a sudden like?
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,174
Well, I was just trying
to be helpful.
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,218
Well, help yourself
to a fuckin' science book,
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,762
'cause you're talking
like a fuckin' retard.
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,556
Now, come on, people!
We've got to think!
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,349
Damn it, they took our job!
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,642
They took our job!
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,852
They took our job!
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,312
- Taka dur!
- Took our job!
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,526
G'rr?
G'lk g'lr?
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,946
G'rk!
G'lrm g'lak g'lak.
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,217
Oh, dude!
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,012
G'lar d'kuh?
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,306
Can you speak in present-day
English, please?
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,724
Oh.
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,560
Can I help you?
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,938
Uh, yeah. I want
a double cheeseburger and fries.
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,900
Chicken sandwich?
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,569
No.
A double cheeseburger and fries.
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,655
- Anything to drink?
- What?
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:47,739
Anything to drink?
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,491
We can't understand you,
asshole!
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,159
G'lrk.
G'lk g'rr g'lrk.
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,911
G'rek g'lrk g'lrk.
G'rek g'lrk g'lrk.
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,037
G'wark.
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,747
Can I help you?
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,166
I'm trying to order
a double cheeseburger.
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,794
Chicken sandwich?
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,712
No, not a chicken sandwich!
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,590
I want a goddamn cheeseburger
and some goddamn fries,
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,634
you fucking goobacks!
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,970
Stan Marsh!
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:13,098
Aw -- Awwww!
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:14,975
Come on, people.
Think!
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,643
How are we gonna stop
these immigrants
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,144
from takin' our jobs?
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,771
Hey, I got an idea.
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,982
Maybe we should all
take off all our clothes,
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191
scramble into a big pile,
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,194
and start getting gay
with each other.
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,823
Did you say get gay?
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,742
Hey, yeah.
That's not a bad idea!
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,536
What, gettin' gay?
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,997
Think about it. These people
are from the future, right?
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,332
Well, if we can get everyone
to turn queer,
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,710
then there won't be no children
to have no children,
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:45,755
and the people from the future
won't exist to take our jobs!
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,841
I ain't turning queer.
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,134
You have to, Jimbo,
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,760
or else we won't be able
to stop them.
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,470
Damn it!
They took er blerrr!
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,805
Yeah!
They took our jobs!
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,682
Took er durrr!
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,517
Let's go over
to that part of town
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,519
that all the future people
moved into
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,439
and start humpin' each other
until they disappear.
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,190
Come on!
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,778
Come on!
You want your jobs back or not?!
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,540
All right, you future bastards!
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,333
Think you can take our jobs?
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,835
Well, we'll show you.
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,545
Come here, Earl!
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,675
How do you like that, gooback?
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,262
Come on, you guys!
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,313
Everyone who believes
in America, join in with us!
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,149
We're gonna make these
future bastards nonexistent!
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,529
Aw, come on, Dad.
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,156
How come I have to go to work
with you?
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,991
Because you're being grounded,
Stanley.
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,367
Now, I don't want to hear
another word
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,994
out of your intolerant mouth.
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,830
You just sit right there,
Stanley,
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,999
and you think about
what you've done.
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,627
You'll find all the copiers
and printers
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,962
- in the next room over and --
- Hey, Mr. Nelson.
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,756
Oh. R-Randy.
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,508
I'm surprised to see you here.
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,967
Why?
This is my office.
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,845
Oh, boy.
Didn't you get my phone message?
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,055
Ooh, this is awkward.
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,558
Well, the thing is, Randy,
you've been replaced.
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,476
What?
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,770
W-We found an immigrant from
the future who knows geology,
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,605
and he offered to work
for next to nothing.
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,607
This is Mr. G'luhg'rwe.
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,900
G'rlo.
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,069
You can't be serious.
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,070
I'm sorry, Randy.
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,947
It's just with
all the budget cuts and all --
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,782
We'll give you some time
to clean out your desk.
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,118
Follow me, Mr. G'luhg'rwe.
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,744
I'll show you
to the coffee room.
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,749
Oh, my God.
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,043
They took my job!
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,170
They took yer job!
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,713
This is CNN.
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,382
Breaking news
at the time border.
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,425
We go now live
to Harrison Moore.
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,719
Aaron, I'm standing
at the time border,
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,639
where some kind of mass protest
has broken out.
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,851
Hundreds of men who have lost
their jobs to time immigrants
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436
are here having sex
with one another.
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,356
These men have apparently
sucked and screwed their way
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,524
across the state
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,192
and are now here
at the time border
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,819
trying to get
national attention.
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,072
These unemployed men have been
having sex for several days.
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,701
Joining me now is their
spokesperson, Randy Marsh.
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,954
Mr. Marsh, what exactly are
you trying to accomplish?
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,039
We're doing the only thing
we can do.
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,833
If our government
is just gonna let
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,877
anybody into our time
who wants to come,
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,171
then we have to take matters
into our own hands.
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,714
We're trying to turn
everyone gay
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,716
so there a re no future humans.
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,634
Present-day America, number one!
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,844
Yeah, America!
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,179
Took our jobs!
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,973
Do you really think you can get
enough people to turn gay
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,100
to destroy the future
of humanity?
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,935
All we can do is try, Harrison.
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,480
Trying to stop immigration
is intolerant and ignorant!
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,816
Those immigrants have a right
to pursue happiness!
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,943
Young man, what do you think
about all this?
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,613
I-I think it's wrong
to call them goobacks,
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239
because they're no different
from us.
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,533
They're just humans trying
to make their lives better.
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,869
Look, it sucks that the
immigrants' time is so crappy.
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:03,995
But the cold, hard truth
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,830
is if we let them all come back
to our time,
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,874
it's just gonna make
our time crappy, too.
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,793
Maybe the answer isn't trying to
stop the future from happening,
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,879
but making the future better.
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,048
Huh?
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,507
Maybe if we all commit right now
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,051
to working towards
a better future,
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,762
then the future won't be so bad
and these immigrants won't need
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,388
to come back here
looking for work.
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,934
Hey, he's right.
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,520
If we build for a better future,
the immigrants will stay there!
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,897
Yeah.
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,733
We've got to start working
towards a brighter tomorrow.
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,693
Well, what are we waiting for?
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,783
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,494
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,579
♪ Take the first step
and you will see ♪
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:51,084
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,294
♪ We can start to make
a difference ♪
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,797
♪ If we want it
for our children ♪
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,966
♪ Recycle that can
and plant that tree ♪
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,177
♪ 'Cause the future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,595
Look!
It's working!
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,306
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,267
The immigrants are fading away!
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,601
We're doing it!
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,145
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,107
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,067
♪ Take the first step and you
will see the future -- ♪
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,861
Dude, wait. Wait.
H-Hold on. Wait a second.
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,988
This is gay.
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,114
This is really gay.
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,907
Yeah, this is even gayer
than all the men
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,076
getting in a big pile
and having sex with each other.
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,577
Okay. Sorry.
My bad.
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,870
Everyone back in the pile.
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,372
Back in the pile, everyone!
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,873
- We're going back to the pile!
- Jump in!
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,042
- Come on, everybody!
- We're going back to the pile!
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,877
- Yeah! Come on!
- Taka dur!
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,171
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,008
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,051
♪ Take the first step
and you will see ♪
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,680
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,850
♪ We can start to make
a difference ♪
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,144
♪ If we want it
for our children ♪
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:53,438
♪ Recycle that can
and plant that tree ♪
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:57,442
♪ 'Cause the future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:01,154
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:37,621
[ Insects chirping,
vehicle approaching ]
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:47,465
[ Wind whistling,
metal rattling ]
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,772
[ Thunder crashes ]
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,940
[ Buzzing ]
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:07,318
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,621
G'rlkr.
00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:26,796
B'rk!
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,255
- [ Horn blares ]
- Aah!
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:32,468
[ Horns honking ]
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:34,929
[ Horn honks ]
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,473
- [ Tires screech ]
- G'rk!
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,976
[ Doorbell rings ]
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,019
Yes?
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,854
Hello, ma'am.
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,774
We're going around town and
offering snow-shoveling service.
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,984
Would you like your driveway
and sidewalk shoveled
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,861
for $8,000?
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,197
Oh. Well, I certainly could use
some little snow shovelers.
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,366
But $8,000 seems a little steep.
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,076
How about $10?
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,369
Ooh. Ouch.
Ma'am, please.
00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,246
Let go of that tight grip
you have on my balls.
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,123
$10.
You're breaking my balls, ma'am.
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,375
- How about $15?
- It's a deal.
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,669
All right, guys.
Let's get to work!
00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,050
Yeah. Yeah.
It was totally awesome.
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,885
Craig crapped his pants
when he saw it.
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,262
Yeah.
Sweet.
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,389
So, what's going on over there?
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,474
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,560
No way!
He did not!
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:25,437
Aw, dude, that is so weak.
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:26,605
What?
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,524
You've been on your
fucking phone since we started.
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,733
Dude, I'm taking a break.
00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,527
A break from what?!
You haven't done anything!
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,487
Kyle, how many times
do we have to go through this?
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,572
I'm the negotiator.
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,240
I negotiate our price
with the customers.
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,117
All you ever do
is talk about your balls!
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,160
It works, doesn't it?
00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:40,744
Did I not just get us
an extra five bucks?
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,121
If you want your share
of the money,
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,998
then you're gonna shovel snow
like the rest of us!
00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:46,167
Hey, don't boss me around,
you fucking Jew!
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,877
I will kick your ass!
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,004
[ Doorbell rings ]
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,842
Ma'am, do you have a rag
and some bandages?
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,635
Oh, goodness.
What happened?
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,345
[ Nasally ]
Shoveling accident.
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,514
Oh, no.
Come on inside.
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,057
[ Door closes ]
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,435
Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,188
You're so lucky
I have a sore shoulder, Kyle,
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,689
or else I would have
let you have it.
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,357
Cartman, just keep
your mouth shut.
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,734
MAN:
This is breaking news.
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,360
Here's anchorman Aaron Brown.
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,988
Incredible,
absolutely amazing news today.
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,908
A man from the future
has come back in time
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:22,036
and is in a government hospital
after being hit by a car.
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,579
Whoa.
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,539
Kristina Nalen has more.
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,916
The news is incredible, Aaron.
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,334
Experts and scientists have been
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,419
with the man from the future
for several hours now
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,547
and have been able to learn
that he is from the year 3045.
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,798
His condition is stable,
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,301
and speculation continues
as to why he has come.
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,428
Has he come to deliver
a cure for cancer
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,555
or to fix something
wrong with the past?
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,224
Have to interrupt you there,
Kristina.
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,975
Apparently Brad Morgan
is inside the base
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,310
with breaking news -- Brad?
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,938
Aaron, the scientists have been
able to communicate further
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,064
and have uncovered
00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,066
that the man from 1,000 years
in the future
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,652
has come to our time
looking for work.
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:56,237
He has said that the future
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,113
is so overwhelmingly
overpopulated
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,407
that there are simply no jobs
in his time,
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:01,867
and so he built a time portal
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,078
and has come back
to 21st-century America
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:05,120
to find a job here.
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,664
That is absolutely astounding.
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:07,957
He came back here for work?
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,625
Uh, that's right, Aaron.
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,919
His plan is to get a job
here in our time
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,921
so that he can put
the money he earns
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,423
into a savings account,
which will earn interest,
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,551
and by the year 3045
be worth billions of dollars --
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,053
which, of course, in the future
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,930
will be worth
only hundreds of dollars,
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,848
but enough, he says,
to feed his family.
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,100
And now I understand
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:28,060
we're going to Harrison Moore
for an explanation
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,728
on how the time portal works --
Harrison?
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,147
Aaron, I am standing
at the time portal
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,234
which scientists say
follows "Terminator" rules --
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,778
That is, it's one-way only,
and you can't go back.
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,948
This is in contrast to, say,
"Back to the Future" rules,
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,616
where back and forth
is possible,
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,285
and of course,
"Timerider" rules,
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,703
which are just plain silly.
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,955
Anyway, it appears that
the man from the future
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,415
is here to stay.
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,584
Mom! Dad!
Did you see?
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,169
They found a man
from the future!
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,963
We know, Stanley.
We've been watching.
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,173
If you're just joining us,
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,050
a man from over 2,000 years
into the future
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,428
has come through a one-way
time portal looking for work.
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,804
Uh, the president is expected
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,431
to give an announcement
at any time.
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,391
Breaking news here
at the time portal, Aaron.
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:11,020
It appears another person from
the future has just arrived!
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,730
It looks as if
the job at Wendy's
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,523
did work for
the original immigrant.
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,650
This second arrivee
claims that man's family
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,818
is now much better off
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,862
and wishes the same
for his family.
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,992
There you go.
All set, sweetie?
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,328
Mom, can we go try to see
the people from the future?
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:29,496
I have a bunch of questions
I want to ask them.
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,123
I'm sure a lot of people do,
hon.
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,666
It's pretty exciting, isn't it?
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,002
Now, you just get some sleep.
You've had a busy day.
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,712
Good night, sweetie.
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,423
Night, Mom.
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,842
Wow.
Two people from the future.
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,761
How cool.
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,348
[ Rumbling ]
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,818
G'lr.
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,528
G'gr g'rhr.
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,031
G'lr. Gr.
00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,908
[ Horns honking ]
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,334
[ Doorbell rings ]
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,379
- Yes?
- Hello, Mrs. Landis.
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,255
Would you like snow-shoveling
service again today?
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,673
Ooh.
Oh, dear.
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:22,883
I'm sorry, boys,
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,927
but I've already hired
someone else to do it.
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,220
What?! Who?!
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,888
One of those immigrants
from the future.
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,890
He said he would do it
for 25 cents.
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,726
25 cents?
But that's not even worth it!
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,479
All right, guys. Come on.
We'll just go to the next house.
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:37,648
Dude.
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,530
Son of a bitch.
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,323
Still more immigrants
from the future
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,908
arrived at the time border
today,
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,910
some even bringing
their entire families.
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,079
The purplish goo that
they have on their bodies
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,206
when they arrive
is an ectoplasmic side effect
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,582
of the time-travel process.
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,835
This is all giving scientists
a great opportunity
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,254
to learn even more about
American life in the future.
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,797
Chris Hall joins us now.
Chris?
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924
Yes, there are incredible
things we're learning
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,801
about Americans in the future,
Aaron.
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,929
It appears that in the future
Americans have evolved
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,932
into a hairless,
uniform mix of all races.
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,225
They are all one color,
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,311
which is a yellowy,
light-brownish, whitish color.
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,939
It seems race is no longer
an issue in the future
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,567
because all ethnicities
have mixed into one.
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:22,818
Perhaps most interesting
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,945
is how this has affected
their language.
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,322
The people in the future
speak a complete mix
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,283
of English, Chinese, Turkish,
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,868
and, indeed,
all world languages,
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,536
which sounds something
like this...
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,621
[ Gutturally ]
Foik flank'en fark.
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,914
Back to you, Aaron.
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,624
Apparently,
the people from the future
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,543
are having a pretty easy time
finding work.
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,503
Since they offer to work
for such low wages,
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,964
they're being hired
all over America.
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,591
This is bullcrap!
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,342
- We don't like this!
- I ain't standin' for this!
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,635
I'm mad as hell!
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,471
All right, folks,
my name is Daryl Weathers,
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,723
and I'm with
the construction workers union.
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,185
I work with a lot of fine men
who have families to feed.
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,311
I don't know about y'all,
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,063
but we worked long and hard
to get our pay up to a level
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,857
where we could make
a decent living.
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,027
And now these people
from the future are showing up
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,988
and offering to do the same work
for next to nothin'!
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,948
They took our jobs!
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,492
ALL:
Yeah!
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:12,951
- They sure did!
- They did!
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,495
We're in the moving business.
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,997
Fourteen years
we been working our butts off.
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,167
Now these future folk come in,
and we can't get work nowhere!
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,668
Well, they took our jobs!
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,170
They took yer job!
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,796
- They took your jobs, too!
- Took yer job!
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,965
What about us
in the fast-food business?
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,634
The restaurants are firing us
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,178
'cause the future people
work for a lot less.
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,388
They took our jobs!
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,182
- They took their jobs!
- They took their jobs!
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,184
- They took yer job!
- Took yer jobs!
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,810
It's affecting kids, too.
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,812
Me and my friends started
our own snow-shoveling business.
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,981
We were trying to be responsible
and make money, you know?
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,733
But then the people
from the future came along,
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818
and now we're out of work, too!
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,155
Oh.
They took our jobs!
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,908
- They took yer job!
- They took yer job!
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,160
- Yeah!
- Dook yer durrr!
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,955
[ Insects chirping ]
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,670
[ Wind whistling,
metal rattling ]
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,015
Gl'r gl'r g'r g'rg.
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,527
Stanley, it's almost 8:00.
Where have you been?
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,404
I was at a rally to protest
all the immigrants
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:31,822
from the future coming in
and trying --
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823
Glrk'a?
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,950
Oh, yes, the laundry machine
is down in the basement.
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,411
And our son is home. Could you
please set the table for dinner?
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,371
G'oh.
G'up r'up!
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,622
Who is that?
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,499
That's our new housekeeper,
Mrs. Gw'arh.
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,127
She's gonna help around the
house on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,212
And she'll do it
for 10 cents an hour.
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,422
Aw, but that's the problem.
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,465
Those goobacks
are takin' our jobs!
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,509
- What?!
- Oh, my God!
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,846
Stan Marsh, how dare you use
that time-bashing slur?!
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,681
Who taught you to talk
like that?
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,808
Well, dude, they a re taking
people's jobs away.
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,810
They're only taking
the small, menial jobs
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,562
that nobody else
really wants to do.
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,063
I wanted my job!
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,482
Hey, Stanley, you need
to understand something.
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,776
Those people from the future
have had a hard life.
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:12,863
Where they come from is dirty
and overpopulated and poor.
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,657
You can't even imagine the kind
of depression they come from.
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,576
So for us,
who have everything so good,
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,910
to judge them is wrong.
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:19,953
Do you understand?
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,706
Next time you think about
calling them goobacks,
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,249
you might want
to just stop for a second
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,043
and think about how crappy
the future really is.
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,127
That's right.
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,546
We're not raising our son
to be an ignorant timecist.
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672
T-Timecist?
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,215
You know -- a racist,
but against people from --
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,884
People from the future.
Right. Got it.
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:34,926
All right.
Good.
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:35,927
Now let's all go eat
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,722
some of Mrs. Gw'arh's
great future cooking.
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:42,392
MAN:
And now here is Bill O'Reilly.
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,062
Welcome, welcome to
the No Spin Zone, all right?
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,521
And what we're
talking about today
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,232
are the immigrants
from the future, all right?
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,526
Most people are more than happy
to give a helping hand
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,654
to these people who obviously
need it, all right?
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,280
But others are starting to say
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,325
that the time portal
should be closed off, all right?
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,993
Now, I've got two guests
with me tonight
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,578
who have opposing views
on the matter.
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,914
On my right
is pissed-off white-trash
00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:05,165
redneck conservative.
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,917
Thanks for having me, Bill.
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:10,337
And on my left
is aging hippie liberal douche.
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,421
Hello.
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,506
Now, pissed-off redneck,
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,549
you say we shouldn't
allow anyone else
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,926
through the time portal,
all right?
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,761
You're goddamn right.
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,764
These people from the future
are taking all the work away
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,809
from us decent
present-day Americans.
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,019
They took our jobs!
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,979
They took our jobs!
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:31,316
Those jobs belong to people
from the present!
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,234
All right.
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,361
What say you,
aging hippie liberal douche?
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,822
It's typical for
conservative rednecks like these
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,782
to view the immigrants
as the problem.
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,284
But really the problem
is America.
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,370
It is our greedy
multinational corporations
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,163
that keep everyone else
in poverty.
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,332
Your ancestors came to America
as immigrants.
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,710
What right do you have
to turn these people away?
00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:52,212
All right.
Redneck, your rebuttal?
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,049
They took our jobs!
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:57,843
They took our jobs!
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,011
Durk er durrr!
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:02,514
[ Bell rings ]
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,640
MR. GARRISON:
All right, children.
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,309
The school board has mandated
that I must now teach class
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:09,396
in both present-day English
and Futurespeak.
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:10,772
What?
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,734
So with that in mind, let's
continue our lessons on verbs.
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,319
Remember that there are
transitive verbs such as,
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,322
"The boy threw the red ball,"
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:23,076
which in Futurespeak,
of course, is g'rk gr'kle r'glk.
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,495
Everyone say it with me.
G'rk gr'kle r'glk.
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,956
ALL:
G'rk gr'kle r'glk.
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,208
G'rk r'g-g-g--lk.
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,961
And there are intransitive
verbs, such as,
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:37,674
"The 11:15 bus from Denver
arrived 12 hours late."
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,011
Or in Futurespeak, g'lrk.
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,679
ALL:
G'lrk.
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,556
Dude, hold on.
This is bullcrap!
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:45,974
If they want to live
in our time,
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,434
then they should learn
our language!
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,685
- Yeah!
- Right!
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,063
Hey, now, these immigrants have
a right to retain their culture.
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:54,107
Who are we to say
our language is best?
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,650
They deserve
to have an education
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,235
just as much as you do.
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,488
Thank you,
aging hippie liberal douche.
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,989
You betcha.
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,908
Timmy!
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,701
Okay, now.
Let's get back to it, kids.
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,536
Which kind of verb is this?
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,414
"The sad girl puts balls
in her mouth."
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,082
Or, in Futurespeak, of course --
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,877
G'rk g'rak balls g'rk g'rk.
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,462
This is bullcrap!
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,088
- We don't like this!
- I ain't standin' for this!
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,465
Listen up, everybody.
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:22,511
We've just received a reply
from our congressman.
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,763
"Dear intolerant rednecks,
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,849
we sympathize with you all
losing your jobs.
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,269
However, we feel your solution
of shooting everyone
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,439
who crosses the time border
is inhumane."
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,857
- What?
- That's ridiculous!
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,109
- They can't do that!
- That was a good idea!
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,029
So it appears the government
ain't gonna help us,
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,074
which means we got to take
matters into our own hands.
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,785
The only way to stop people
from the future
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,788
is to stop the future
from happening.
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,872
Hey, that's right!
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,123
If there is no future,
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,459
then there'll be no people
fro m the future
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,127
to come back and take our jobs!
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,712
Dur er durrr!
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:58,964
All right.
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:04,177
So any ideas how we can stop
the future from happening?
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,306
How about we cause
more global warming
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,768
so that in the future
the polar ice caps melt,
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:14,938
a-and it ushers in
a new ice age?
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:21,486
How the hell is global warming
gonna cause an ice age?
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,489
Well, you know, the global
warming could bring on,
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,741
like, a climate shift
or something.
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,327
Chet, you are a fuckin' retard.
You know that?
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913
Even if global warming
were real --
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,457
which all proven scientific data
shows it isn't --
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,003
it would take millions of years
for a climate shift to happen.
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:41,006
You think an ice age can just
happen all of a sudden like?
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,174
Well, I was just trying
to be helpful.
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,218
Well, help yourself
to a fuckin' science book,
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,762
'cause you're talking
like a fuckin' retard.
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,556
Now, come on, people!
We've got to think!
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,349
Damn it, they took our job!
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,642
They took our job!
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:53,852
They took our job!
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,312
- Taka dur!
- Took our job!
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,526
G'rr?
G'lk g'lr?
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,946
G'rk!
G'lrm g'lak g'lak.
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,033
[ Mid-tempo music playing ]
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,368
[ Whirring ]
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,918
[ Music continues ]
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,004
[ Coughing ]
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,217
Oh, dude!
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,012
G'lar d'kuh?
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,306
Can you speak in present-day
English, please?
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,724
Oh.
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,560
[ Future accent ]
Can I help you?
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,938
Uh, yeah. I want
a double cheeseburger and fries.
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,900
Chicken sandwich?
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,569
No.
A double cheeseburger and fries.
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,655
- Anything to drink?
- What?
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:47,739
Anything to drink?
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,491
We can't understand you,
asshole!
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,159
G'lrk.
G'lk g'rr g'lrk.
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,911
G'rek g'lrk g'lrk.
G'rek g'lrk g'lrk.
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,037
G'wark.
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,747
[ Future accent ]
Can I help you?
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,166
I'm trying to order
a double cheeseburger.
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,794
Chicken sandwich?
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,712
No, not a chicken sandwich!
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,590
I want a goddamn cheeseburger
and some goddamn fries,
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,634
you fucking goobacks!
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,970
Stan Marsh!
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:13,098
Aw -- Awwww!
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:14,975
Come on, people.
Think!
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,643
How are we gonna stop
these immigrants
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,144
from takin' our jobs?
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,771
Hey, I got an idea.
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,982
Maybe we should all
take off all our clothes,
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191
scramble into a big pile,
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,194
and start getting gay
with each other.
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,823
Did you say get gay?
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,742
Hey, yeah.
That's not a bad idea!
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,536
What, gettin' gay?
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,997
Think about it. These people
are from the future, right?
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,332
Well, if we can get everyone
to turn queer,
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,710
then there won't be no children
to have no children,
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:45,755
and the people from the future
won't exist to take our jobs!
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,841
I ain't turning queer.
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,134
You have to, Jimbo,
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,760
or else we won't be able
to stop them.
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,470
Damn it!
They took er blerrr!
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,805
Yeah!
They took our jobs!
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,682
Took er durrr!
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,517
Let's go over
to that part of town
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,519
that all the future people
moved into
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,439
and start humpin' each other
until they disappear.
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,190
Come on!
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:08,778
Come on!
You want your jobs back or not?!
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,615
[ Whirring ]
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,618
[ Mid-tempo music playing ]
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,540
All right, you future bastards!
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,333
Think you can take our jobs?
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,835
Well, we'll show you.
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,545
Come here, Earl!
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,675
How do you like that, gooback?
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,262
Come on, you guys!
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,185
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,313
Everyone who believes
in America, join in with us!
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,149
We're gonna make these
future bastards nonexistent!
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,529
Aw, come on, Dad.
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,156
How come I have to go to work
with you?
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,991
Because you're being grounded,
Stanley.
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,367
Now, I don't want to hear
another word
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,994
out of your intolerant mouth.
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,830
You just sit right there,
Stanley,
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,999
and you think about
what you've done.
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,627
You'll find all the copiers
and printers
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,962
- in the next room over and --
- Hey, Mr. Nelson.
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,756
Oh. R-Randy.
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,508
I'm surprised to see you here.
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,967
Why?
This is my office.
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,845
Oh, boy.
Didn't you get my phone message?
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,055
Ooh, this is awkward.
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,558
Well, the thing is, Randy,
you've been replaced.
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,476
What?
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,770
W-We found an immigrant from
the future who knows geology,
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,605
and he offered to work
for next to nothing.
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,607
This is Mr. G'luhg'rwe.
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,900
G'rlo.
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,069
You can't be serious.
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,070
I'm sorry, Randy.
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,947
It's just with
all the budget cuts and all --
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,782
We'll give you some time
to clean out your desk.
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:38,118
Follow me, Mr. G'luhg'rwe.
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,744
I'll show you
to the coffee room.
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,747
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,749
Oh, my God.
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,043
They took my job!
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,170
They took yer job!
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,713
MAN:
This is CNN.
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,382
Breaking news
at the time border.
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,425
We go now live
to Harrison Moore.
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,719
Aaron, I'm standing
at the time border,
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,639
where some kind of mass protest
has broken out.
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,851
Hundreds of men who have lost
their jobs to time immigrants
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436
are here having sex
with one another.
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,356
These men have apparently
sucked and screwed their way
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,524
across the state
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,192
and are now here
at the time border
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,819
trying to get
national attention.
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,072
These unemployed men have been
having sex for several days.
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,701
Joining me now is their
spokesperson, Randy Marsh.
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,954
Mr. Marsh, what exactly are
you trying to accomplish?
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,039
We're doing the only thing
we can do.
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,833
If our government
is just gonna let
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,877
anybody into our time
who wants to come,
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,171
then we have to take matters
into our own hands.
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,714
We're trying to turn
everyone gay
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,716
so there a re no future humans.
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,634
Present-day America, number one!
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,844
Yeah, America!
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,179
Took our jobs!
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,973
Do you really think you can get
enough people to turn gay
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,100
to destroy the future
of humanity?
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,935
All we can do is try, Harrison.
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,480
Trying to stop immigration
is intolerant and ignorant!
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,816
Those immigrants have a right
to pursue happiness!
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,943
Young man, what do you think
about all this?
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,613
I-I think it's wrong
to call them goobacks,
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239
because they're no different
from us.
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,533
They're just humans trying
to make their lives better.
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,869
Look, it sucks that the
immigrants' time is so crappy.
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:03,995
But the cold, hard truth
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,830
is if we let them all come back
to our time,
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,874
it's just gonna make
our time crappy, too.
00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,793
Maybe the answer isn't trying to
stop the future from happening,
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,879
but making the future better.
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,048
Huh?
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,507
Maybe if we all commit right now
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,051
to working towards
a better future,
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,762
then the future won't be so bad
and these immigrants won't need
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,388
to come back here
looking for work.
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,934
Hey, he's right.
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,520
If we build for a better future,
the immigrants will stay there!
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,897
Yeah.
00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,733
We've got to start working
towards a brighter tomorrow.
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,693
Well, what are we waiting for?
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:38,238
[ Up-tempo folk music plays ]
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,783
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,494
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,579
♪ Take the first step
and you will see ♪
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:51,084
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,294
♪ We can start to make
a difference ♪
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,797
♪ If we want it
for our children ♪
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,966
♪ Recycle that can
and plant that tree ♪
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,177
♪ 'Cause the future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,595
Look!
It's working!
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,306
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,267
The immigrants are fading away!
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,601
We're doing it!
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,145
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,107
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,067
♪ Take the first step and you
will see the future -- ♪
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,861
Dude, wait. Wait.
H-Hold on. Wait a second.
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,988
This is gay.
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,114
This is really gay.
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,907
Yeah, this is even gayer
than all the men
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,076
getting in a big pile
and having sex with each other.
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,577
Okay. Sorry.
My bad.
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,870
Everyone back in the pile.
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,372
Back in the pile, everyone!
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,873
- We're going back to the pile!
- Jump in!
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,042
- Come on, everybody!
- We're going back to the pile!
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,877
- Yeah! Come on!
- Taka dur!
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,171
♪ We've got to work
for a better future ♪
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,008
♪ We've got to join hands
for tomorrow ♪
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,051
♪ Take the first step
and you will see ♪
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,680
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,850
♪ We can start to make
a difference ♪
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,144
♪ If we want it
for our children ♪
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:53,438
♪ Recycle that can
and plant that tree ♪
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:57,442
♪ 'Cause the future begins
with you and me ♪
00:21:57,567 --> 00:22:01,154
♪ The future begins
with you and me ♪
rus__Щукин_Максим.srt
rus__Щукин_Максим.srt
00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:47,260
Привет, ма-ам. Мы тут гуляем по городу
и предлагаем жителям услугу по уборке снега.
00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:49,360
Хочешь, мы очистим от снега подъезд к гаражу и тротуар?
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:50,660
Всего за 8000 долларов.
00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:55,760
О да, я бы воспользовалась услугами маленьких снегоуборщиков,
но 8000 долларов мне кажется это дороговато.
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,110
Как на счет 10-ти долларов?
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,510
Ooo, ма-ам, пожалуйста, не злоупотребляй
своею властью над моими яйцами!
00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:02,410
10 долларов… ты берешь меня за яйца, мааам!
00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:03,870
Как на счет 15-ти?
00:02:04,180 --> 00:02:06,460
Договорились! Ребята, за работу!
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:16,400
Ой, это так ужасно. Крег наклал в штаны когда увидел это.
Да, милашка.
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,980
А сейчас что там происходит? О, да, это зашибенно.
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:24,500
О, нет! Неужели! Какой облом.
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:26,730
Чего?
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,980
Ты болтаешь по телефону с тех пор как мы начали!
00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:30,010
Чувак, у меня перекур.
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,820
Перекур от чего?! Ты ведь ничего не делал!
00:02:32,170 --> 00:02:33,740
Кайл, сколько раз мы это обсуждали?
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:36,840
Я посредник.
Моя задача договариваться о цене с заказчиком.
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,510
Всё что ты делаешь – ты говоришь о своих яйцах!
00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:41,120
И это срабатывает, не так ли?
Разве не я выбил лишние 5 баксов для нас?
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:44,340
Если ты хочешь быть в доле, бери
лопату и разгребай снег как все остальные!
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,450
Эй! Не командуй здесь, гребаный жид! Я надеру тебе задницу!
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,780
Мэм, у вас не найдется повязка и бинт?
00:02:55,540 --> 00:02:56,780
О, Господи, что случилось?
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,410
Несчастный случай.
00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:00,230
Ой-ой… входите.
00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:03,900
Ждите здесь, я мигом.
00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:08,800
Тебе повезло, Кайл, что у меня... болит рука,
А то я бы тебе врезал.
00:03:09,090 --> 00:03:10,250
Картман, просто держи свой рот закрытым.
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,500
Шокирующие новости!
На связи корреспондент Айрон Браун.
00:03:13,850 --> 00:03:18,330
Невероятно! Абсолютно сенсационные новости сегодня.
Появился человек из будущего
00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:22,290
Он сейчас находится в правительственной
больнице. После того, как он был сбит машиной.
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:23,790
Вау.
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,630
Кристина Нейлор с подробностями.
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:30,590
Неверояно, Айрон. Эксперты и ученые уже несколько
часов изучают человека из будущего
00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:33,600
удалось выяснить что он из 3045 года.
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,560
Его состояние стабильно, и догадки
зачем же он пришел продолжаются.
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,600
Может он принес нам лекарство от рака?
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,450
Или что-то исправить в будущем?
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:46,120
Должен прервать тебя, Кристина. Вероятно,
Брэд Морган, который сейчас внутри, сообщит сенсацию.
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:46,540
Брэд?
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,240
Айрон, ученым удалось войти в контакт и
они выяснили, что
00:03:50,390 --> 00:03:53,310
человек из будущего, через тысячу лет,
пришел в наше время чтобы
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,920
найти работу. Как он сообщил,
00:03:56,070 --> 00:04:00,780
в будущем произойдет перенаселение
и просто не будет всем хватать работы.
00:04:01,230 --> 00:04:02,130
Так вот он создал машину времени
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:05,130
и переместился сюда, в 21-й век, в Америку,
чтоб найти здесь работу.
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,180
Это изумительно. Он сюда прилетел на работу?
00:04:08,410 --> 00:04:12,620
Так и есть, Айрон. Его план найти работу здесь,
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,330
так он сможет скопить денег и положить на свой счет,
00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:19,830
И по меркам 3045 года это будут биллионы долларов,
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,070
Хотя люди будущего зарабатывают
только сотни долларов,
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:25,190
но, как он говорит, этого достаточно чтоб прокормить семью.
00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:29,450
И сейчас я понимаю мы свяжемся с Гарисоном Мором
Чтобы узнать как же работает машина времени.
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:30,060
Гарисон?
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:35,400
Айрон, я нахожусь около границы времен,
которую ученые окрестили принципом Терминатора.
00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:38,150
Это значит, что существует только один путь
и ты не можешь вернуться назад.
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,160
Это противоречит тому что мы
видели в фильме «Назад в будущее»,
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:45,850
где можно было летать туда-сюда и конечно старое
представление о машине времени теперь рухнуло.
00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:49,370
В любом случае, человек из будущего
теперь останется здесь.
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,320
Мам, пап! Вы видели? Нашли человека из будущего!
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:56,130
Мы знаем, Стенли. Мы смотрим.
00:04:56,870 --> 00:05:02,750
Если вы только сейчас к нам присоединились, человек из будущего прилетел
через тысячу лет на односторонней машине времени, чтобы найти работу.
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,570
Президент ждет новостей в любое время суток.
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:10,780
Чрезвычайные новости с места событий, Айрон!
Кажется, только что прилетел еще один человек из будущего.
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:18,290
Похоже, что жизнь обычного эмигранта работающего в мак-доналдсе
это не так и плохо, ведь куда лучше чем жизнь людей будущего.
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,090
Чего желаем и ихнем семьям.
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,400
Ну вот. Готов ко сну, милый?
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:29,540
Мам, мы можем попробовать поговорить с людьми будущего?
У меня куча вопросов, которые я хотел бы задать им.
00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:34,360
Уверена, многие люди тоже хотят. Это так захватывающе,
не правда ли? А сейчас давай спать.
00:05:34,690 --> 00:05:35,220
У тебя был насыщенный день.
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:37,030
Спокойной ночи, ангелочек.
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:37,900
Спокойной, мам.
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:43,270
Вау… два человека из будущего. Клево.
00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:17,340
Да?
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,340
Здрасте, мисс Лендис. Не желаете сегодня снова
воспользоваться услугой уборки снега?
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,210
О- о, извините мальчики, но я уже наняла
других для этого.
00:06:25,630 --> 00:06:26,330
Что? Кого же?
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,140
Одного из тех эмигрантов из будущего.
Он сказал что сделает это за 25 центов.
00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:32,460
25 центов? Это же ерунда.
00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:34,860
Ладно, мужики. Пошли в следующий дом.
00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:37,630
Нифига себе.
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,330
Сукины дети!
00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:48,140
Сегодня еще больше эмигрантов из будущего
прибыло на машине времени,
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,950
некоторые даже целыми семьями. Нечто
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:55,920
бугристое и липкое на их телах после прилета – это
эктоплазмический эффект после путешествия во времени.
00:06:56,420 --> 00:07:00,630
Это хороший шанс для ученых узнать кое-что
о жизни американцев в будущем.
00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:02,375
Крис Хольт к нам присоединяется. Крис?
00:07:02,410 --> 00:07:02,660
Да, удивительные вещи мы узнаем о будущих
американцах Крис Хольт к нам присоединяется. Крис?
00:07:02,695 --> 00:07:05,930
Да, удивительные вещи мы узнаем о
будущих американцах
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,710
Айрон. Судя по всему, в будущем
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:12,150
американцы эволюционировали в безволосых
людей одинаково цвета кожи с остальными расами.
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:16,480
Они все одного цвета, что-то среднее между
желтым, светло-коричневым и белым.
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,640
Похоже, в будущем исчезнет понятие раса,
00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:25,080
из-за того, что представители всех рас просто смешались в
одну. Но самое интересное какой эффект это произвело на их язык.
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,700
Люди в будущем говорят на смеси всех языков: английским,
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,960
китайском, турецком и остальными зыками мира.
И в результате это звучит примерно так:
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,120
Слово вам, Айрон.
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:39,770
Несомненно люди будущего имеют
хороший шанс найти работу.
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:41,790
Ведь они просят маленький заработок
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:43,860
И они нанимаются по всей Америке.
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,040
Что за дерьмо! Мы так не договаривались!
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:53,070
Народ, меня зовут Дерил Ветерс
и я на стороне Союза Рабочих.
00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:56,450
Мы также вкалываем как и многие другие
люди чтобы прокормить свои семьи.
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,960
Не знаю как вы, но мы работали долго
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,180
и тяжело чтобы добиться заработков, которые
обеспечивали бы достойный уровень жизни.
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:08,290
А сейчас эти люди из будущего приперлись
делать ту же работу за ничего!
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:09,910
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:17,450
Вот мы строители…
15 лет пахали на своих жопах!
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:20,430
И что сейчас? Люди будущего прилетели
и мы нигде не можем найти работу!
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,360
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:23,490
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:31,400
А у нас в сфере быстрого питания?! Рестораны нас поуволняли,
потому что люди из будущего работают за меньшее!
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,470
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,600
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:41,210
Это коснулось и детей! Я и многие мои друзья
начинали свой бизнес с уборки снега.
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,080
Мы пытались делать благо и получать за это деньги,
00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:46,290
не так ли? Но эти люди пришли мы остались за ни с чем!
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:50,590
? А, ну да… Они забрали нашу работу!
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,090
Они забрали нашу работу!
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:28,800
Стенли, где ты был? Уже почти 8 часов.
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:32,190
Я был на митинге против эмигрантов из будущего,
которые пришли и пытаются – Хряп-хряп
00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:36,440
Ах, да, стиральная машина внизу
в подвале и наш сын вернулся домой.
00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:37,730
Пожалуйста накрой стол для ужина.
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:40,820
Это еще кто?
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,880
Это наша домработница Мисс ГРУМНД.
00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:45,380
Она будет помогать нам по дому
по вторникам и четвергам.
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,360
И она делает это за 10 центов в час:)
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,490
В этом и проблема! Эти желтожопые забирают у людей работу!
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:51,590
Что?
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:52,580
О, Боже мой!
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:56,160
Стен Марш, как ты можешь такое говорить?!
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:57,720
Кто тебя этому научил?!
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,930
Ну, типо они отнимают у людей их работу.
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:03,730
Они всего лишь выполняют небольшие прислужливые работы,
за которую в действительности никто не хочет браться.
00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:05,000
Я хотел мою работу!
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,830
Слушай, Стенли, ты должен кое-что понять: Эти
люди из будущего вынуждены жить очень тяжело!
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,080
Поэтому они пришли сюда
из грязного, перенаселенного мира!
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:18,000
Ты даже не можешь представить от какой депрессии они
избавились! И мы, у которых все так хорошо,
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,200
не имеем права их осуждать! Понимаешь?
00:10:20,990 --> 00:10:22,700
В следующий раз подумай
прежде чем назвать их желтожопыми,
00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:26,500
задумайся как на самом деле погано будущее!
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:29,680
Правильно! Мы не воспитывали нашего сына быть
вульгарным времяненавистником.
00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:30,800
Времяненавистником?
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:32,930
Как бы расистом, но по отношению к…
00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:34,100
Людям из будущего. - Именно!
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:38,330
Вот и чудненько. А теперь все пойдем к Мисс Грумнд.
К великолепному кулинару будущего.
00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:42,630
А сейчас теледебаты в прямом эфире
00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:48,420
Приветствуем всех. Итак..
мы поговорим об эмигрантах их будущего
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:49,220
итак...
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:53,330
Сегодня многие наши сограждане более чем рады
протянуть руку помощи тем, кто в этом остро нуждается
00:10:53,550 --> 00:10:53,960
итак...
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:57,470
Но есть и такие, кто начинает говорить
о закрытии машины времени.
00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:58,450
итак...
00:10:58,870 --> 00:11:01,790
А сейчас я представляю вам наших гостей,
которые имеют разный взгляд на проблему.
00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:05,620
Справа от меня представитель союза
задроченых белых батраков
00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:07,080
Спасибо что позвали, Билл!
00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:10,460
И слева от меня представитель либеральной
партии закоренелых хиппи.
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,330
Здрасте.
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,820
Что же, задроченые батраки, вы говорите, мы
не должны больше никто пропускать через машину времени,
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:16,300
Не так ли?
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:23,530
Вы чертовски правы! Эти люди из будущего отнимают
всю работу у нас – сегодняшних американцев!
00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:26,120
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:27,960
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:31,300
Эта работа принадлежит людям нашего времени!
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:34,400
Понятно. А что вы скажете в ответ, хиппи – либерал?
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:38,880
Ы.. ну это типично для консервативных батраков
как этот относится к эмигрантам как к проблеме
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:39,940
Ы.. но в действительности
00:11:40,140 --> 00:11:45,310
проблема – это Америка. И жадные многонациональные
корпорации, которые держат всех в нищете.
00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:49,660
Наши предки пришли в Америку как эмигранты.
Так какое право мы имеем высылать этих людей обратно?
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:51,740
Так… Ваши возражения, Ботрак?
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:56,090
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,000
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:11:58,490 --> 00:11:59,940
Забрали работу!
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:09,380
Итак, дети, школьный совет постановил, что теперь я должен
учить вас на обоих языках: современном английском и языке будущего
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:10,850
Что?!
00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:16,500
И основываясь на этом, продолжаем наш урок по глаголам.
Помните, что существуют транзитивные глаголы такие как
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:21,540
"Мальчик бросил красный мяч," что на
будущеанглийском кончено будет: "Хрюк-глюк".
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:24,660
Все повторяют за мной? – "Хрюк-глюк ".
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,160
Ну а сейчас не переходные глаголы, такие как
00:12:33,810 --> 00:12:40,620
"Автобус на 11:15 из Денвера опаздал на 12 часов" или
на будущеанглийском: "Ававаф"
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:42,530
"Ававаф "
00:12:43,550 --> 00:12:47,690
Ну все, хватит! Что за маразм! Если они хотят
жить в нашем времени, они должны учить наш язык!
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:48,500
Да!
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:49,260
Правильно!
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:54,270
Ну уж нет! Эти эмигранты имеют право сохранить свою культуру.
Кто мы такие чтоб утверждать что наш язык лучший?
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:57,310
Они имеют право получать такое же образование как и вы.
00:12:57,830 --> 00:12:59,500
Спасибо, хиппи.
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,450
Молодец. Продолжай.
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:03,440
Тиммииии!
00:13:03,630 --> 00:13:06,550
Ну что же, продолжим. Какого вида этот глагол?
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:13,500
"Несчастная девочка засовывает яйца себе в рот". Или
на будущеанглийском "Вап вап яйца вап вап".
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:15,650
Что за дерьмо!
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,830
Слушайте все! Мы только что
получили ответ от нашего конгрессмена.
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:28,010
"Дорогие нетерпимые батраки, мы
сочувствуем вам связи с потерей работы.
00:13:28,530 --> 00:13:30,520
Однако мы полагаем, что ваше предложение
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,530
стрелять по всем кто выйдет
из машины времени не очень гуманно".
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:35,620
Что?
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:36,470
Это нелепо!
00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:37,650
Они не могут так поступить!
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:38,500
Это была хорошая идея!
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:44,370
Итак, получается, что правительство не хочет нам помочь!
Это значит, мы должны взять дело в свои руки!
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:50,010
Есть только один способ остановить людей
из будущего – не допустить самого будущего!
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:56,490
Точно! Если не будет будущего, значит и не будет и
людей из будущего, которые будут забирать нашу работу!
00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:58,000
Забрали работу!
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:03,320
Итак, какие будут идеи как нам избавится от будущего?
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:14,670
Что если мы спровоцируем глобальное потепление? В будущем
это вызовет таяние ледников и наступит новый ледниковый период.
00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:21,480
Как глобальное потепление вызовет ледниковый период?!
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:27,030
Ты че не знаешь что глобальное потепление даст
изменение климата или что-то вроде того?
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:31,900
Черт, ты же е**нутый дятел! Ты знал об этом?!
Даже если глобальное потепление реально,
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,780
(что по данным ученых вообще-то невозможно)
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:41,290
изменение климата происходит за миллионы лет!
Или ты думаешь ледниковый период настанет внезапно?
00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:43,440
Ну я только пытался быть полезным.
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:47,840
Помоги лучше себе, кретин, взяв в руки книжку,
потому что ты поносишь как тупорылое чмо!
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:51,630
Народ, ну давайте же думать!
Черт подери, они же забрали нашу работу!
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:53,190
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:26,330
Блин...
00:15:27,870 --> 00:15:28,850
Гав-гав?
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:31,120
Не могли бы вы говорить на современном английском?
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:35,090
О- а, да... Чем могу быть… полезен?
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:38,300
Да, будьте добры двойной чисбургер и фри.
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,460
Бутерброд с курицей?
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,760
Нет, двойной чисбургер и фри!
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:46,330
А хприп фри?
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:47,030
Что?!
00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:48,020
А хприп фри?
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:49,560
Мы тебя не понимаем, говнюк!
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:55,600
Чем могу помочь?
00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:58,250
Я пытаюсь заказать двойной чисбургер!
00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:00,570
Пожалуйста, вот бутерброд с курицей.
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,320
Нет! Не бутерброд с курицей!
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:07,660
Я хочу чертовый чисбургер и немного чертовой
картошки фри, вы гребаные желтожопые твари!
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:10,120
Стэн Марш!
00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,060
О- о…
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:18,240
Ну же… думайте, мужики! Как нам остановить
этих эмигрантов и вернуть наши рабочие места!
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:25,290
Во, у меня идея. Что если мы все снимем с себя свою одежду и
свалимся вместе большую кучу, а потом мы вместе станем геями.
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,500
Ты сказал "станем геями"?
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,910
Мда. А че… это не плохая идея!
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,360
Какая? Стать геями?
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:39,660
Подумайте: Есть люди из будущего, так?
Ну а если мы всех превратим в педерастов,
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:42,050
то не будут рождаться дети.
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:45,250
Люди из будущего просто не будут существовать
и никто не заберет у нас нашу работу!
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:47,950
Я не собираюсь становиться педиком.
00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:52,770
Ты должен, Джимбо, или мы не сможем их остановить!
Давай, Джимбо!
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,390
Они забрали нашу работу!
00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:55,730
Забрали работу!
00:16:56,340 --> 00:17:03,020
Идемте в ту часть города где поселились люди будущего
и начинаем совокупляться пока они не исчезнут!
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:03,760
Пошли!
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,440
Идемте! Вы хотите вернуть работу или нет?!
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:25,490
Ну что, будущие ублюдки! Думаете вы забрали нашу работу?!
Ща мы вам покажем! Иди ко мне, Эрл!
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,140
Как тебе это это, желтожопый?!
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:34,420
Ну давайте же, ребята!
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:46,440
Все кто верит в Америку присоединяйтесь к нам!
Мы сделаем этих будущих недоносков несуществующими!
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,400
Но папа! Почему я должен идти с тобой на работу?
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,990
Потому что ты наказан, Стенли! А сейчас я не хочу
слышать ни одного слова из твоего невыносимого рта.
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,320
Сядь здесь, Стенли, и подумай о том, что ты сделал!
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,240
Все копировальная техника и принтеры
находятся в соседней комнате, а также…
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:07,990
О, мистер Нельсон.
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:11,700
Ренди? Удивлен видеть тебя тут.
00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:12,910
Почему это? Это ведь мой кабинет.
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:20,350
Дружище, разве ты не получал мое сообщение? Как
неловко получилось. Понимаешь, мы нашли тебе замену.
00:18:21,110 --> 00:18:21,490
Как это?
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:25,320
Ну мы нашли эмигранта из будущего, который знает
геологию и он предложил работать для начала бесплатно.
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:27,400
Вот кстати и сам мистер Хряп-вап.
00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:28,780
Збрд…. здрасте.
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:30,640
Это не серьезно.
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:35,970
Извини, Ренди. Мы всего лишь улучшаем бюджет и все.
Мы дадим тебе время собрать свои вещи со стола.
00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:40,000
Сюда, мистер Хряп-вап, я покажу вам
кабинет где мы копируем документы.
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:47,010
Боже мой! Они забрали мою работу!
00:18:47,530 --> 00:18:48,530
Забрали работу!
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:50,550
Вы смотрите CNN.
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,605
Сенсация на границе времен. В прямом эфире Гарисон Мор.
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:54,650
Айрон, я нахожусь недалеко от машины времени и здесь проходят массовые
протесты. Сенсация на границе времен. В прямом эфире Гарисон Мор.
00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:59,580
Айрон, я нахожусь недалеко от машины времени
и здесь проходят массовые протесты.
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:05,390
Сотни мужчин, которые потеряли работу из-за
временных эмигрантов, занимаются сексом друг с другом.
00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:09,410
Очевидно, эти мужчины здесь у границы времен
сосут друг у друга и долбятся в попец
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,710
чтобы привлечь внимание.
00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:19,250
Эти безработные уже несколько дней подряд сношаются.
Ко мне присоединяется их представитель Ренди Марш.
00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:22,600
Мистер Марш, чего конкретно вы добиваетесь?
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:28,920
Мы делаем только то что в наших силах. Если наше правительство
собирается пускать подряд всех желающих в наше время,
00:19:29,350 --> 00:19:31,080
то мы берем дело в свои руки.
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:36,700
Мы собираемся превратить всех в геев и таким образом
избавиться от будущих людей. Сегодняшняя Америка прежде всего!
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:37,910
Да здравствует Америка!
00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:39,160
Работу забрали!
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:44,140
Вы в серьез рассчитываете привлечь столько
людей чтобы уничтожить будущее человечество?
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:45,990
Все что мы делаем - это попытка, Гарисон.
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:52,060
Попытка остановить эмиграцию это неодобрительно и невежественно.
Эти эмигранты имеют право на собственное счастье.
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:53,970
Молодой человек, а вы что думаете о происходящем?
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,100
Я думаю, это неправильно называть их желтожопыми,
потому что они не отличаются от нас.
00:19:58,710 --> 00:20:04,445
Они всего лишь люди, пытающиеся наладить свою жизнь.
Конечно это фигово, что их время такое отстойное,
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:04,830
но горькая правда как раз в том, что если мы примем их всех в наше время, Они всего лишь
люди, пытающиеся наладить свою жизнь. Конечно это фигово, что их время такое отстойное,
00:20:04,865 --> 00:20:06,090
но горькая правда как раз в том, что если мы
примем их всех в наше время,
00:20:06,220 --> 00:20:10,700
то мы его тоже засрем. Может быть решение
не в том, чтобы предотвратить будущее,
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,480
а сделать его лучше.
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:14,740
Хм?
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,070
Я имею в виду, что если мы сплотимся
и попробуем как-то улучшить будущее,
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:19,780
то оно не будет таким плохим
00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:22,160
и никаким эмигрантам из будущего
не захочется сюда перемещаться.
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:29,470
Эй. Он прав. Если мы построим лучшее
будущее, эмигранты не останутся здесь.
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:33,720
Да. Мы должны начать работать
над хорошим завтрашним днем.
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:35,370
Чего же мы ждем?
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:44,260
Нам надо сплотиться чтобы улучшить завтрашний день.
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:49,170
…Сделай первый шаг и смотри.
Прекрасное будущее нас ждет впереди…
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:55,970
…И если мы счастья потомкам хотим
Давайте ресурсы Земли сохраним…
00:20:56,220 --> 00:21:01,050
…Делай добро и сил не жалей
Завтра наступит радужный день…
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:02,800
Смотри, сработало!
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,660
…завтра наступит радужный день…
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,280
Эмигранты исчезают!
00:21:07,790 --> 00:21:08,300
Мы это сделали!
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:14,020
...Все будет прекрасно, отлично и класно!
Ведь завтра наступит радужный день…
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:17,150
…Сегодня сделай первый шаг и получишь завтра море благ-
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,160
Чуваки, погодите, угомонитеcь. Секундочку!
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:19,880
Меня зае**ло.
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:21,180
В натуре зае*ало уже!
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,990
Да блин, это заяб*вает сильнее, чем все
эти дядьки друг-друга в той куче. Помните?
00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:27,780
Да, классная была кучка.
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:29,620
Давай все в кучу снова!
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:30,930
Назад в кучу!
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:31,750
Наваливайся!
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:32,450
Давай, давай!
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:33,580
Все фигня. Мы идем назад в кучу!
00:21:33,910 --> 00:21:34,860
Работу забрали!
00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:39,900
WilLoW:- ) January 24th, 2005
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:44,900
Перевод на русский язык:
Щукин Максим Скриншоты
