ШИКАРН-О — Картман притворяется роботом, чтобы выведать секреты Баттерса, а затем осмеять его. Внезапно выясняется, что Баттерс сам знает одну из страшных тайн Эрика.

Предыдущая серия S08 E04 Вас только что в’ли в ж’у

Следующая серия S08 E06 Джефферсоны

ШИКАРН-О

AWESOM-O

Сезон: 08Серия: 05

Описание

Картман притворяется роботом, чтобы выведать секреты Баттерса, а затем осмеять его. Внезапно выясняется, что Баттерс сам знает одну из страшных тайн Эрика.

Субтитры

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,443 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,503 What the heck?
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,464 Whoa! What a huge package!
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,007 "To: Butters Stotch."
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,884 Oh, boy! It's for me! It's for me!
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,093 Who is it from?!
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,679 "Sent from: Japan. Konichi-wa!"
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,724 Wow! A package for me from Japan!
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,517 Wow. What could it be?
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,770 My birthday isn't until September 11th!
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,689 Oh, boy! I've never gotten a package this big.
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,816 I've always wanted to have a huge package!
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,986 Aah!
00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:14,700 Greetings.
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,870 I am the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,581 Whoa.
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:25,377 I have been sent from Japan to serve as your personal robot.
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,880 You -- You're <i>my</i> robot?
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,424 Yes. I will be your new best friend.
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,842 Oh, wow!
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,387 Yep, that's right. He's a real, live robot.
00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:36,889 He can walk and talk and everything!
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,516 You're like the fourth kid I've told already!
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,187 Well, I got to go, Dougie. My robot and I have stuff to do.
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,231 They're all so jealous.
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,525 I'm so glad you came into my life, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,485 You're the best friend a guy could have.
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,195 Yes. You can trust A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,072 In fact, you should tell A.W.E.S.O.M.-O
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,740 all your most personal secrets.
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,408 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O will not make fun of you
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,869 or tell your secrets to other people and stuff.
00:01:58,994 --> 00:01:59,995 Hey, yeah!
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,081 Well, I can tell you anything, huh?
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,165 Well, let's see.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,250 Well, for one,
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,418 I have what's called a heshiated colon,
00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:08,629 which means I sometimes can't control my sphincter.
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,089 Really?
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,341 Nobody knows it, but sometimes I poop my pants.
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,009 So I have to wear a diaper to school.
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,846 You okay, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,640 Yes. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is fine. Please go on.
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,767 Well, I have to take medicine for it every day.
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,603 It's a little suppository I have to put up my rectum.
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,398 That -- That's very interesting.
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,150 Tell A.W.E.S.O.M.-O more secrets.
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,651 Oh, okay. Let's see.
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:31,986 Oh, my parents don't know,
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:34,488 but sometimes I get picked on by this one kid at school.
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,656 His name is Eric Cartman,
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,825 and he always tries to play jokes on me and stuff.
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,410 - Oh? Really? - Yeah!
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,579 One time he made me think a meteor had hit the earth
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:44,373 and convinced me to stay down in a bomb shelter for three days.
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,083 Wow. That sucks.
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:46,917 Yeah.
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,043 And then this other time,
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,045 he pretended to be me on the phone to my dad
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,338 and called him a pussy.
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,965 And so my dad came home and beat me.
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:53,883 Wow.
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,093 Sounds like this Cartman kid is pretty smart.
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,304 No, he's not smart. He's just an asshole.
00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:01,056 And he's never gonna play a trick on me ever again!
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,975 Really? You think so?
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,853 Well, guess what, Butters. I have a surprise for you.
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,521 Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again,
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:08,898 'cause what Cartman doesn't know
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,525 is that I know one of <i>his</i> secrets.
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,610 What?
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,695 When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard,
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,572 he likes to dress up like Britney Spears
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,740 and pretend he's her.
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,992 He sings and dances around with a life-size cutout
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,285 of Justin Timberlake.
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,704 You saw that?
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,624 Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it!
00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:27,625 Nunh-unh.
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,210 I've got the whole thing on tape --
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,837 even him making out with the Justin Timberlake cutout.
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,130 - No way. - Yeah!
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,965 And if Cartman ever messes with me again,
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,926 I'm gonna show that video to everybody.
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,677 Then I'll have my revenge, boy howdy!
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,473 Um, where is this videotape, Butters?
00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:44,683 Huh? Oh, I don't know. It's around here somewhere.
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,560 Hey, so what do you want to do now, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:50,147 Uh, Butters, maybe you should give A.W.E.S.O.M.-O the videotape.
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:50,940 How come?
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:54,360 Well, because A.W.E.S.O.M.-O can, like, back it up for you
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,903 and make copies and stuff.
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,196 I am A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,697 Oh, that's all right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Come on!
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,908 I have a lot of things to teach you!
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,369 Oh, son of a bitch.
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,291 ♪ Hey, there, have you heard about my robot friend? ♪
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,461 ♪ He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all ♪
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,256 ♪ He's a cyber-wired bundle of joy ♪
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:19,009 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:22,179 ♪ I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend ♪
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:25,307 ♪ He's smart as can be and emotion-free ♪
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,768 ♪ And he's computed his way to my heart ♪
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,980 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,275 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,403 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,656 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,825 Oh, that's so cute.
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,286 Did you see Butters and his friend Eric playing robot?
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,579 Yes. Those boys are quite imaginative.
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,873 Leave it to them to find a fun way to do the dishes.
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,792 That's great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,752 You can carry all my laundry in one trip!
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,087 Uh, Butters, it's getting late.
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,755 You should be getting ready for bed soon.
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,756 Okay, Mom.
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,258 Well, come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Bedtime.
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,427 Oh, is your little robot friend staying the night?
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,971 Well, of course he is. He's my robot, ain't he?
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,931 That's okay with your mom, Mr. Robot?
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,599 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not have a mom.
00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:09,601 Yep. Don't you know nothin' about robots?
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:12,604 Come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! You can put my laundry away.
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:13,939 Oh, that's just adorable!
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,733 It's good to see Butters finally have a friend
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,276 that wants to stay over.
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,570 ♪ I love to brush my teeth ♪
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,113 ♪ In the morning and at night ♪
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,074 Ugh. Jesus Christ. I can't go on like this.
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,951 Butters, remember when you said
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,829 you had a video of Eric Cartman dressed like Britney Spears?
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,289 Oh. Yeah?
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,124 I would like to see what he looks like
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,917 so I can beat him up for you.
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,294 May I see the video?
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:36,879 Aw, you don't need to do that, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,381 Hey, I got to put in my suppository. Can you help me?
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,758 What?
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,301 Remember I said I had to put that
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,886 medicinal suppository in my anus?
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,138 It'll be so much easier having you do it from now on.
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:47,681 Um...actually...
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,975 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O was not programmed for that function.
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,061 Aw, it's real easy. I'll show you.
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,646 You just take this little thingy out of the plastic paper.
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,523 And then I'll -- I'll pull down my pants.
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,859 And just slide it up in my anus there.
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:00,486 No way.
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,154 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, I thought you were programmed
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,198 to do whatever I tell you.
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,699 Weak.
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,701 Yeah. That -- That's pretty good.
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,244 Get it up there good and deep.
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,287 Lame.
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,998 All right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Time for us to get some sleep.
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,334 Hey, you want me to teach you some bedtime songs?
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,044 ♪ If you leave me now ♪
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,213 ♪ You take away the biggest part of me ♪
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,547 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh -- ♪
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:24,051 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O must rest his CPU. System overloading.
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,844 Oh. Oh, all right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:29,807 Let's get us some shut-eye -- or whatever robots have.
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,324 Where is it?! Where is it?!
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,118 - A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! - Ah!
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,120 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, what the Sam heck are you doing?
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:55,374 Um, A-A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is reorganizing your stuff for you.
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:56,875 Oh, cheese geez Louise!
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,253 My mom is gonna be awful sore when she sees this mess!
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,213 Now, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, that is a bad robot!
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,841 You can't do no chores for me unless I tell you to do them.
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:04,925 You got it?
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,510 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O understands.
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554 I'm gonna have to give you a spankin', A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,264 so that you learn better.
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,144 And just know, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, that I did it because I love you.
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,896 Okay. Come on. Let's go make some breakfast.
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,691 God damn it. I have to find that videotape!
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,195 Look at that, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,365 I drew a picture of us playing in a field together.
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,575 I'll be right back.
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,368 I'm gonna go get some Sunny Delight.
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,203 I would like some Sunny Delight, too.
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,289 Don't be silly, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,999 Robots don't need to drink nothin'.
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,211 Oh! Go answer the door, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,755 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O will answer the door.
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,634 What the hell are you doing, fat-ass?
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,261 Dude, are you still pretending to be a robot?
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,220 Shh!
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,264 I just need to, uh, make Butters think I'm a robot
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,432 for a little while longer.
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:54,975 Why?
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,518 Because I need to, all right?!
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,853 I've got something planned
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,438 that's, uh, going to be really sweet.
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,814 Just play along, okay?
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,274 Why?
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,152 - Kyle, God damn it. Will you -- - Who's at the door, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,324 Three boys named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:13,118 Oh, hey, fellas! I see you've met my robot.
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,578 Uh, yeah, Butters. He's real cool.
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,704 He sure is!
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,206 We do everything together.
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,958 Last night, we even had a slumber party.
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,335 Weak.
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,170 He can do anything I command him to.
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,880 He's real smart. Watch this.
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,799 Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, will you go get my friends some Sunny Delight?
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,551 Yes. Of course.
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,221 Oh, wait.
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,473 Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, I'd also like some celery sticks
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,641 chopped up two inches long
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,268 with peanut butter and raisins on top.
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,063 Suck my balls, Kyle.
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:44,233 He's made in Japan!
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,859 Yes, it has just been a delight
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,694 having your son over, Mrs. Cartman.
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,988 He and Butters are really getting along great.
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,990 Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Mrs. Stotch.
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,493 Eric has been having some emotional problems lately.
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:55,786 Well, the reason I'm calling
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,371 is that Butters is supposed to go see
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,206 his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles this weekend.
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,999 The boys are getting along so well
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,919 that we were thinking of inviting Eric to go along.
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,837 Oh. Well, I'm not sure.
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,173 Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,884 for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago.
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,178 Excuse me? I didn't catch that.
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,097 Oh, but I suppose it would be good for him.
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,223 Yes. Of course he can go.
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641 I'll bring some of his clothes over.
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,935 Oh, wonderful! The boys will be so excited.
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,354 Maybe he put that videotape in here somewhere.
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,730 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, what are you doing?
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,566 My friends are waiting for their beverages.
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,817 Chop-chop!
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,485 Hey, guys! Great news!
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:29,695 It's all been arranged --
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,363 You two are both going to Los Angeles
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,031 to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie!
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,076 Oh, boy! My robot gets to come with me to see Aunt Nellie?!
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:36,910 What?
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,161 Oh, boy, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,414 We're gonna have the best time ever!
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:41,957 Lame.
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,629 Hey, Nellie.
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,798 Look what I found scrampin' around the airport.
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,882 Hi, Aunt Nellie!
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,759 There's my little nephew!
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,928 - How was your flight? - It was long.
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,805 We had a three-hour delay departing Denver,
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:57,848 but we're here!
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,099 Didn't you bring any bags?
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,059 Well, sure, but my robot is bringing them in.
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,227 Your robot?
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,396 Butters' new friend is a little strange.
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:07,649 He -- He really takes playing robot seriously.
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,403 There he is!
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,113 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, this is my Aunt Nellie.
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,115 Hello! It's nice to have you here!
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,618 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O must dispense oil waste.
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,411 Where is the nearest toilet, please?
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,580 Oh, right through there, Mr. Robot.
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,540 Thank you.
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,293 I don't think he took the costume off the entire trip.
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,128 Did you want to get right to sightseeing,
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,130 or are you boys hungry after such a long flight?
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,673 Naw. I ate on the plane.
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,051 And A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is a robot, so he don't need to eat.
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,302 Right.
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,893 Oh! Oh!
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,816 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,193 Uh -- Uh -- A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is coming.
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,196 Come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! We're gonna go a-sightseein'!
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,328 ♪ I'm hanging out in L.A. with my robot friend ♪
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,539 ♪ We're havin' such fun in the hot, hot sun ♪
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,874 ♪ We're two of a kind ♪
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:10,045 ♪ That's me and my robot friend ♪
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,340 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,550 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:17,844 Can you believe we're at a real, live movie studio, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,638 Aren't we having the best time?
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,764 Butters, wouldn't you like
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,641 to have some time away from A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,226 We could meet up later, perhaps.
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,770 Hey, look over there, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! The film-studio commissary.
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,230 That's where all them rich movie producers
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,399 that come up with Hollywood blockbusters have their lunch.
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,692 Neat-o, huh?
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,276 Damn it, Mitch,
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:35,862 how come our movie studio can't come up with any winners?
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,490 - I mean, we're smart, right? - We're really smart.
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,909 We need an idea for a movie that's a home run --
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,870 a feel-good romp for the whole family.
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,956 Hey, what's that over there?
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,291 Wow! That's a really neat little robot you have, little boy.
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:49,418 What's he do?
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,712 Well, he can do anything! Watch this.
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,297 Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, who's gonna win the Super Bowl next year?
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,091 The New Orleans Saints.
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,637 Hey, Mr. Robot, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,431 if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,515 17.
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:09,438 Mitch, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:10,480 Yeah.
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,190 Maybe that robot can be programmed
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,443 to come up with movie ideas!
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,486 Exactly.
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,155 Gentlemen, this little boy was kind enough
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,074 to let us show you his robot -- the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,034 I've already seen what it can do.
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,204 Uh, excuse me, sir, but, uh, that's not a robot.
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,706 It's not?
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,541 No. It clearly has bipedal movement.
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,085 So the correct term is computerized automatron.
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,212 - Oh, very nice, Mitch. - You <i>are</i> the smart one.
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,882 Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,384 can help us come up with new movie ideas.
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:42,637 How can a robot come up with better ideas for movies than us?
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:43,638 Watch this.
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:47,017 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, given the current trends of the moviegoing public,
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,769 can you come up with an idea for a movie
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,772 that will break $100 million box office?
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:54,566 Um...okay. How about this?
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,779 Adam Sandler is, like, in love with some girl.
00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,739 But then it turns out that the girl
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,117 is actually a golden retriever or something.
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,120 Oh, perfect!
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,538 We'll call it "Puppy Love"!
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,415 Give us another movie idea, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,625 - Yeah! - Let's hear it!
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,251 - Yeah! We want to hear them! - Come on! Come on!
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,377 Okay. How about this?
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,756 A-Adam Sandler inherits like a billion dollars.
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:22,761 But first he has to, like, become a boxer or something.
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,304 Yes! It's flawless!
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,431 "Punch-Drunk Billionaire"!
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,518 Boy, Los Angeles is great, huh, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,937 Can you believe those guys paid us $100 apiece
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,647 for those movie ideas?
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,982 You should split that money with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,692 After all, they were A.W.E.S.O.M.-O's ideas.
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:38,902 Oh, right!
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,654 What are you gonna do with money, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O --
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,322 buy some robot pants?
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,950 No, we've got each other, and that's all we need, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,159 I'm gonna send this money
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,036 to needy kids in Third World countries.
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,414 Y-You okay, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,792 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O needs to rest! Feeling faint!
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,168 You go ahead and relax, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,921 We've got another full day of pitching movies tomorrow.
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,009 Gentlemen, ladies,
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,846 we all know that we live in a time of uncertainty.
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:08,056 The risk of an attack on American soil
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,391 is higher than ever.
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,769 Now I believe we might be able to curb that risk.
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:17,023 Two days ago, our intelligence department came across this.
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,151 The A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,362 It is currently being used by Catamount Pictures
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,030 to develop ideas for movies.
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,740 Our sources say that in just one week,
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,369 it has come up with over 1,000 movie ideas,
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,705 800 of which feature Adam Sandler.
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,831 - Oh, my God. - That's amazing.
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:33,748 Adam Sandler.
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:34,875 That's incredible!
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,085 You're thinking the robot could be used
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,879 to come up with anti-Islamic movies?
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:39,379 No.
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,339 If we got our hands on that robot,
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:45,886 we could reprogram it and turn it into a weapon.
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:48,013 Yes. That might be the best thing to do.
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,681 Uh-huh. I don't see how we have a choice.
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:50,724 Hold on a second.
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,475 If that robot is designed for entertainment,
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,644 then turning it into a weapon is unethical.
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:55,687 Unethical?
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,565 Let me explain something to you, Mr. Scientist.
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,650 We understand that the robot is from Japan.
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,236 That means that the Japanese have more of them.
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,864 And if the Japanese fabricates one of them into a weapon
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,073 before we do...
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,618 Jesus. It would be Pearl Harbor all over again.
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,912 But worse -- with robots.
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,455 I'm sorry. I must protest.
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,207 We -- We have no data suggesting the Japanese have developed
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,001 a robot with offensive capability.
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,837 You're paid to think, Mr. Scientist!
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,131 National security is <i>our</i> job.
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,095 Gentlemen, we're going to Los Angeles.
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,140 I want that robot.
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,434 Yeah, me and my robot
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,436 are still over at the movie studio, Aunt Nellie.
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,688 We're makin' all kinds of money for the poor!
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,859 Movie idea number 2,305 --
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,862 Adam Sandler is trapped on an island
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,823 and falls in love with a coconut.
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:49,991 Great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Great.
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,034 Guys, take a break.
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,786 I need a minute alone with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,458 You are an incredible robot, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,919 I was just wondering...
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:04,255 are you by chance a pleasure model?
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:05,715 What?
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,636 Well, have you been programmed to satisfy...
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,972 the urges of humans?
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,182 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not understand.
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,559 Let me show you what I mean.
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,520 Yeah, we're having a great time, Aunt Nellie.
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,480 These movie-studio guys are real nice.
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,523 Lame!
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,941 Yeah, we're making a bunch more money.
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,651 I can't believe it either.
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,779 Not cool! Totally lame!
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,114 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,198 I got to go, Aunt Nellie.
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,742 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is having some kind of malfunction.
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,120 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O? Hey, where'd you go?
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,213 Let's go! Move! Move!
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,256 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,632 Hey! What are you doing with him?!
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,096 That's my robot!
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,936 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O-O-O-O!
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,321 Are those arm and leg locks secure?
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:11,906 - Secure, sir. - Good.
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,324 I don't want that robot mobile
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,118 until I know what it's capable of.
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,244 All right. Power it on.
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,875 Wha-whoa-wha-whoa-- Oh!
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,835 - What the hell? - What's going on?
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,504 It...powered <i>itself</i> back on.
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,592 Stand by. Be ready to destroy it.
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:35,013 Where the hell am I? Hey! Why can't I move?!
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,306 Are your systems stable?
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:37,974 Run a systems check on your CPU.
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,476 The fuck are you talking about, dude?
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:43,188 I-I'm sorry, robot, but they want me to reprogram you.
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,231 I'm not a robot, dumb-ass! I'm alive!
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,274 What did you say?
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,651 I said I'm a real person, ass-wipe!
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,863 Oh, my God.
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,031 What's happening?
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,242 The robot -- It thinks it's alive.
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,661 It's developed consciousness.
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,497 What? How can that be?
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,582 Must be a malfunction of its hexagraphical IMS
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,334 or the interlaced B.V. system.
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:07,670 Speak in a language we can understand, Mr. Scientist.
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,423 Your robot doesn't know it's a robot!
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,217 God damn it, get me down from here.
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,179 Who made you, robot?
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,389 I'm not a robot. I'm a human!
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,058 Jesus. The scientist is right.
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,727 But who would have programmed it to think it was human?
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:23,770 The movie studio?
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:26,064 Look, retards, my name is Eric Cartman!
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,233 I live with my mom in South Park, Colorado.
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,485 Dear Christ. They gave it memories, too.
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,528 Sure. Why not?
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,571 Program the memories of some eight-year-old boy
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,366 who doesn't exist, and make the robot think he's real.
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,118 Makes for a lot better movies.
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:41,663 I'm not reprogramming a robot that's developed consciousness.
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,082 Do I have to remind you of your position?!
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:48,294 Don't forget you have a duty to your country, Mr. Scientist!
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756 I want that robot's memories and consciousness erased
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,466 so we can take it back to Washington.
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:54,717 Got it?!
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,887 Damn you all to hell.
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,601 ♪ Hey, there, did you know ♪
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,646 ♪ I had a robot friend? ♪
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,232 ♪ We used to laugh and play ♪
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,152 ♪ But someone took him away ♪
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:17,365 ♪ He was my 10-gigahertz old pal ♪
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:21,286 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,788 Hey, wait a minute.
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,293 Well, that's the van that -- Oh, my God!
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,547 God damn it, stop! I'm real! I'm real!
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,133 It'll all be over soon, robot!
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,472 Hang on. I'm getting you out of here, robot.
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,433 Oh, it's about friggin' time, jackass!
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,518 What the hell are you doing?!
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,813 I-I'm saving a conscious being.
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,399 If you want to kill it, you'll have to go through me!
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,110 Fine. Kill that son of a bitch.
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,486 No! Look, God damn it.
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:58,114 Now I can show you stupid assholes who I really am.
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,116 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,244 I am the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,207 No! No! Please!
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,709 Don't kill him! He's my best friend!
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,961 He's my best friend in the whole world!
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:15,048 He's my...
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,219 There. You see?
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,930 You want to tell me <i>this</i> isn't humanity?
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:25,183 Who's to judge what makes something human, anyway?
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:27,393 Does <i>this</i> make me human?
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,978 Or this?
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,521 Or these?
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,819 Perhaps...there <i>is</i> consciousness in this robot.
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,239 Maybe we as a society need to realize
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,784 that artificial intelligence is intelligence all the same
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,703 and we <i>can</i> learn from the robots.
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,497 I think maybe one day we can all --
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,252 Wait a minute. Did -- Did that robot just fart?
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,295 Hey, robots don't fart.
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,631 Uh, now ending fart sequence.
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,299 Oh, and it -- it smells, too!
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,926 Smell sequence initiated.
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:03,179 A robot with smelly farts? That doesn't make any sense.
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,139 Hang on a second here!
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,396 ♪ Would you like to touch my body? ♪
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,147 ♪ Come on and touch my body ♪
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,983 ♪ Ooh, my hot body ♪
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,776 ♪ Don't you like my hot body? ♪
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,653 ♪ Come on and touch my titties ♪
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,655 ♪ I've got such nice, ripe titties ♪
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,615 ♪ Come on, Justin, touch my body ♪
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,450 Ooh, Justin. Yeah.
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,160 ♪ Touch my body, you and me ♪
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,454 ♪ Check out my nice, hard body ♪
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,498 ♪ Come on, my body ♪
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,209 Wow, kid. You're a little faggot.
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:34,836 Lame.

00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:15,080 Из-за трагических событий этой недели на Гавайях эпизод Саут-Парка "Lemmiwinks" этим вечером показыватся не будет.
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:19,630 Вместо этого мы представляем новый и немного лучший эпизод "З.А.Ш.И.Б.А.Т.О.Р".
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,630 Чего это?
00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:46,270 Вау! Какая огромная коробка!
00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:48,235 "Баттерсу Стотчу. "
00:00:48,270 --> 00:00:50,390 Ох, блин! Это мне! Это мне!
00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:53,535 А откуда? "Из Японии. Конничива."
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:56,610 Ух ты! Посылка для меня из Японии!
00:00:57,860 --> 00:01:00,540 Ух, что же это? Мой день рождения 11 сентября.
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,660 Ох, блин! Мне никогда не приходили такие огромные посылки!
00:01:03,695 --> 00:01:05,930 Я всегда хотел такую.
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,990 Приветствую. Я ЗАШИБАТОР 4000.
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,765 О- о-а...
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,950 Я послан из Японии быть твоим личным роботом.
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,205 Ты... Ты мой робот?
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,780 Да. Я буду тебе новым лучшим другом.
00:01:30,815 --> 00:01:32,430 Ух ты!
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:35,615 Ну. Так и есть. Он настоящий живой робот.
00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:39,550 Он может ходить говорить и всё такое. Ты похоже уже четвертый, кому я это рассказываю.
00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:42,830 Ну мне пора уже, Доги. У нас с роботом есть всякие дела.
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,635 Хе-хе, им всем так завидно!
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,560 Я так рад, что ты появился в моей жизни, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:01:47,595 --> 00:01:49,450 Ты лучший друг, который может быть у пацана.
00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:51,285 Да. Ты можешь доверять ЗАШИБАТОРу.
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,835 На самом деле ты должен рассказать ЗАШИБАТОРу все свои личные тайны.
00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:58,830 ЗАШИБАТОР не будет высмеивать тебя или рассказывать твой секреты другим людям и всё такое.
00:01:58,865 --> 00:02:01,875 Ха да! Я могу тебе что угодно рассказать?
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:06,370 Так, посмотрим... Ну во-первых, у меня есть то, что называется грыжей толстой кишки,
00:02:06,405 --> 00:02:08,870 это значит что я иногда не могу контролировать мой сфинктер.
00:02:09,090 --> 00:02:10,340 Такое бывает.
00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:12,700 Ну, никто не знает, но иногда я какаюсь в штаны
00:02:12,735 --> 00:02:13,980 и поэтому я ношу подгузники в школе.
00:02:14,990 --> 00:02:15,940 Всё нормально, ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:19,540 Да. ЗАШИБАТОР в порядке. Продолжай.
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,835 Ну, поэтому каждый день я принимаю лекарство.
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:24,580 Это маленькая свечка, её надо вставлять... в мою прямую кишку.
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,360 Это, это очень интересно. Расскажи ЗАШИБАТОРу ещё секреты.
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:32,265 Хмм, хорошо. Посмотрим, о, мои родители не знают,
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,870 но иногда ко мне пристаёт один пацан в школе, его зовут Эрик Картмэн,
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,790 и он всегда подшучивает надо мной и всё такое.
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,025 О, правда?
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,490 Да. Однажды он заставил меня думать что на Землю падает метеорит,
00:02:41,525 --> 00:02:44,160 убедил меня оставаться в бомбоубежище три дня.
00:02:44,270 --> 00:02:46,535 Хе. Вот хреново.
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:49,315 Ага. А в другой раз он по телефону притворился мной,
00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:53,100 и назвал моего папу слабаком, ну и потом мне попало от папы.
00:02:53,135 --> 00:02:56,120 Ух. Похоже, что ребёнок Картмэн довольно умён.
00:02:56,155 --> 00:02:58,065 Не, он не умён! Он просто мудак.
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,160 И он никогда не будет шутить над мной никогда больше!
00:03:01,195 --> 00:03:03,625 Правда? Ты так думаешь?
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:06,060 Знаешь что, Баттерс? У меня есть сюрприз для тебя.
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,305 Ага, со мной у него больше ничего не получится!
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:11,040 Потому что Картмэн не знает, что я знаю один его секрет!
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,270 Что?
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,545 Когда Картмэн играет один на заднем дворе,
00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:17,910 он наряжается как Бритни Спирс и танцует как она!
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,060 Он поёт и танцует вокруг фигуры Джастина Тимберлейка в натуральную величину.
00:03:22,020 --> 00:03:23,450 Ты это видел?
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,050 Ага! И я записал это на видео!
00:03:26,085 --> 00:03:27,210 Не-а.
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:29,145 У меня всё есть на плёнке!
00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:31,480 Даже как он целуется взасос с фигурой Джастина Тимберлейка!
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:32,640 Не может быть.
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,780 Да! И если Картмэн опять что-нибудь учинит со мной,
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:38,680 я покажу плёнку всем! И это будет моя месть, вот так!
00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:41,700 Мм, Где эта плёнка, Баттерс?
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,530 А- а? О, я не помню. Где-нибудь здесь.
00:03:44,565 --> 00:03:46,425 Эй! А что будем делать теперь, ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,990 Ну, Баттерс, наверное ты должен дать ЗАШИБАТОРу эту плёнку?
00:03:50,025 --> 00:03:50,895 Для чего?
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:51,765 Ну, например...
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:57,150 ЗАШИБАТОР может сделать копии и вернуть их тебе. Я ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:03:57,185 --> 00:03:58,355 О, ничего страшного, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:03:58,390 --> 00:04:00,850 Идём! Мне многому нужно тебя научить.
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,230 Вот сукин сын!
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:09,365 Эй, кто не слышал о моём робо-друге?
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,450 Он из металла и небольшой и не судит меня ни в чём.
00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,780 Он кибер-пачка удовольствия
00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:16,750 Мой робо-друг.
00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:21,620 Мне нравится колбаситься с моим робо-другом.
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,590 Он умён и может быть неэмоциональным
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,990 И он вычислит путь к моему сердцу.
00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:29,570 Мой робо-друг.
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:40,900 Мой робо-друг.
00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:43,245 О- о это так забавно.
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,410 Смотри, Баттерс и его друг Эрик играют в робота.
00:04:45,445 --> 00:04:47,395 Да. Эти мальчики весьма изобретательны.
00:04:47,430 --> 00:04:50,030 Оставь это им, пусть они найдут интересный способ мыть посуду.
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,825 Это здорово, ЗАШИБАТОР!
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,660 Ты можешь нести все мои стиранные вещи за раз.
00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:55,280 Ах, Баттерс, уже поздно.
00:04:55,315 --> 00:04:56,770 Тебе пора готовиться ко сну.
00:04:56,805 --> 00:04:57,635 Окей, мам.
00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,280 Хорошо, идём, ЗАШИБАТОР. Время спать.
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:01,480 О- о, твой маленький друг робот остаётся с тобой на ночь?
00:05:01,515 --> 00:05:03,792 Ну конечно. Он мой робот, разве нет?
00:05:03,827 --> 00:05:06,070 А что скажет твоя мама, мистер робот?
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:07,825 У ЗАШИБАТОРа нет мамы.
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:10,120 Ага! Вы что, ничего не знаете о роботах?
00:05:10,155 --> 00:05:12,380 Идём, ЗАШИБАТОР! Положишь мои вещи там!
00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:14,145 Ах, это просто восхитительно.
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,000 Приятно видеть, что Баттерс нашёл себе друга,
00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:18,150 который хочет с ним остаться.
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:22,190 Мне нравится чистить зубы по утрам и вечерам. Мои зубы не возражают...
00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:24,467 Рррр. Господи Иисусе, я не могу больше это продолжать.
00:05:24,502 --> 00:05:26,710 Баттерс, помнишь, когда ты сказал, что у тебя есть плёнка,
00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:28,870 на которой Эрик Картмэн наряжается, как Бритни Спирс?
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,325 О. Да.
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,405 Я хочу посмотреть, как он выглядит,
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,480 чтобы избить его для тебя. Можно я посмотрю кассету?
00:05:35,515 --> 00:05:37,005 Тебе не обязательно это делать, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,370 Эй, Мне нужно вставить свечку. Ты мне поможешь?
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:40,465 Что?
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,840 Помнишь я говорил, что я засовываю медицинские свечи себе в анус?
00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:46,215 Будет намного легче, если это сделаешь ты.
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:50,270 Мм. На самом деле, ЗАШИБАТОР не запрограммирован на такую функцию.
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:51,905 Ха, это просто. Я объясню тебе.
00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:55,925 Ты просто достаёшь эту маленькую вещичку из упаковки и я,
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,590 я опускаю свои штаны... и просто всовываешь её туда в мой анус.
00:05:58,350 --> 00:05:59,650 ...Ни за что.
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:03,410 ЗАШИБАТОР, я хочу, чтобы ты был запрограмирован на всё, что я скажу тебе.
00:06:03,445 --> 00:06:05,570 Стрём!
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,155 Да-да-да, так очень хорошо.
00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:09,500 Всовывай её туда лучше и глубже.
00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:10,390 Отстой!
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,860 Ну хорошо, ЗАШИБАТОР, пора спать.
00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:15,365 Эй, хочешь я научу тебя петь колыбельную?
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,870 Если ты бросишь меня сейча-а-ас, ты заберёшь с собой мою большую ча-а-асть.
00:06:19,930 --> 00:06:20,790 Ooo-oo-oooo-oo-oo...
00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:21,665 ЗАШИБАТОР должен отдыхать!
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:24,330 Его центральный процессор перегружен.
00:06:24,365 --> 00:06:26,005 О, хорошо, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,330 Давай спать, или что там роботы делают вместо сна.
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,285 Где он? Где он?
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,470 ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:49,045 Ох!
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,165 ЗАШИБАТОР, что за херню ты тут творишь?
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:55,230 М- м, а-а, ЗАШИБАТОР, реорганизует для тебя вещи.
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,405 Ядрён батон! Моя мама будет в ужасе,
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,305 когда увидит этот беспорядок! Теперь ЗАШИБАТОР - плохой робот!
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:04,470 Ты не должен делать никаких домашних работ для меня, пока я об этом не попрошу! Ясно?!
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,510 ЗАШИБАТОР понял.
00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:10,030 Теперь я должен тебя отшлёпать, ЗАШИБАТОР, чтобы ты понял лучше!
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,435 Только знай, ЗАШИБАТОР,
00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:15,090 я сделал это, потому что я люблю тебя.
00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:17,060 Окей, идём приготовим завтрак.
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:20,450 Чёрт возьми, я должен найти эту кассету!
00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:25,195 Смотри, ЗАШИБАТОР!
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,690 Я нарисовал, как мы играем вместе.
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,370 Ах, ну я пойду. Пойду выпью Санни Делайт.
00:07:31,405 --> 00:07:33,410 Я тоже хочу немного Санни Делайт.
00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:35,402 Не смеши меня, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:07:35,437 --> 00:07:37,360 Роботам не надо ничего пить.
00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:40,580 Эй, открой дверь, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:07:40,615 --> 00:07:43,450 ЗАШИБАТОР откроет дверь.
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:47,930 Что за фигню ты тут творишь, толстожопый?
00:07:47,965 --> 00:07:49,405 Чувак, ты чё, до сих пор изображаешь робота?
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,760 Шшш! Мне нужно, чтобы Баттерс думал, что я робот ещё некоторое время.
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:54,875 Зачем?
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,425 Потому что мне это нужно, понятно?!
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:59,410 Я тут кое-что планирую и это будет реально клёво.
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,630 Просто притворяйтесь, окей?
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,260 Зачем?
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,030 Кайл, черт побери, ты можешь это сделать?
00:08:04,065 --> 00:08:05,600 Кто там пришёл, ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:10,160 Три пацана: Стэн, Кайл и Кенни.
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,170 А, привет, мужики! О, вы уже видели моего робота.
00:08:13,205 --> 00:08:14,825 О да, Баттерс, он реально крут.
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,200 Ага, так и есть! Мы всё делаем вместе.
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:19,540 Прошлой ночью мы даже вместе спали.
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:21,590 Стрёмно.
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,525 Он выполняет все мои команды.
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,935 Он очень умный. Вот смотрите:
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:27,750 ЗАШИБАТОР, ты сходишь за Санни Делайт для моих друзей?
00:08:27,785 --> 00:08:29,250 Да, конечно.
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:35,045 Погоди. Эй, ЗАШИБАТОР, я ещё хочу палочки сельдерея,
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,350 нарезаные длинной по два дюйма, с арахисовым маслом и изюмом сверху.
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,780 Отсоси, Кайл.
00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:43,880 Его сделали в Японии!
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,380 Да, всё просто восхитительно, и ваш сын, миссис Картмэн,
00:08:47,415 --> 00:08:50,080 они с Баттерсом на самом деле великолепно проводят время.
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:52,115 О, я рада слышать это, миссис Стотч.
00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:54,450 У Эрика были небольшие эмоциональные проблемы в последнее время.
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,625 Ну, причина по которой я звоню вам, в том, что Баттерс
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,510 едет повидать свою тётю Нелли в Лос-Анжелес на этих выходных.
00:08:59,545 --> 00:09:01,125 Мальчики так здорово вместе ладят,
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,750 что мы подумали о приглашении Эрика ехать вместе с ним.
00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:05,885 О, ну я не уверена.
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,120 Дело в том, что Эрик должен быть наказан
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:10,790 за попытку истребить всех евреев две недели назад.
00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:13,165 Прошу прощения, я что-то не уловила.
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,175 О, но я полагаю это пойдёт ему на пользу.
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,770 Конечно, он может ехать. Я принесу ему одежду.
00:09:17,805 --> 00:09:20,070 О, прекрасно! Ребята будут в восторге.
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,700 Может он засунул кассету куда-нибудь сюда.
00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:23,865 ЗАШИБАТОР, чего ты делаешь?
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,320 Мои друзья ждут напитки. Поторопись!
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,675 Эй ребята, прекрасные новости!
00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:32,500 Всё устроено: вы вдвоём едете в Лос-Анджелес к тёте Нелли!
00:09:32,535 --> 00:09:36,290 Ух ты! Мой робот поедет со мной повидаться с тётей Нелли?!
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:36,945 Чего?
00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:38,085 О, блин, ЗАШИБАТОР!
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,950 Это будет самое лучшее время!
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:41,830 Лажа.
00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:50,100 Эй Нелли, угадай кого я нашёл в аэропорту.
00:09:50,135 --> 00:09:52,142 Здавствуй, тётя Нелли!
00:09:52,177 --> 00:09:54,115 Мой племяшек! Как долетел?
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:57,170 Это было долго. Мы задержались на три часа в Денвере,
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:57,905 но всё равно мы здесь!
00:09:57,940 --> 00:09:59,095 Ты не принёс с собой сумки?
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:01,080 Ну да, но мой друг робот несёт их.
00:10:01,115 --> 00:10:02,085 Твой робот?
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,915 Новый друг Баттерса немного странноват.
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:07,710 Он, он очень серьёзно играет в робота.
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:12,370 Вот и он! ЗАШИБАТОР, это моя тётя Нелли.
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,645 Привет! Приятно видеть тебя.
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,670 ЗАШИБАТОРу необходимо слить масляные отходы.
00:10:17,705 --> 00:10:19,750 Где здесь ближайший туалет?
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,880 О, о, прямо там, мистер Робот.
00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:22,660 Спасибо.
00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:26,555 Я думаю, что он не снимал этот наряд всю поездку.
00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:28,160 Ну хорошо, вы отправитесь осматривать достопримечательности прямо сейчас,
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,250 или покушаете после долгого перелёта?
00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:31,705 Не-а, я ел в самолёте.
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:34,020 А ЗАШИБАТОР - робот, он не нуждается в еде.
00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:35,970 Верно...
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,730 ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,065 А- а-ЗАШИБАТОР идёт.
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:54,420 Пойдём, ЗАШИБАТОР! Идём на прогулку!
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:56,560 Агг!
00:10:58,710 --> 00:11:01,400 Я болтаюсь с моим робо-другом по Лос-Анджелесу
00:11:01,435 --> 00:11:04,040 Нам так приятно на горячем солнышке
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:10,325 Нас двое - Это я!
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:15,955 И мой робо-друг.
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:18,360 Ты можешь поверить, что мы в настоящей студии кино, ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:19,695 Разве это не замечательно?
00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:22,940 Баттерс, тебе не хотелось бы ненадолго отлучиться от ЗАШИБАТОРа?
00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,430 Мы могли бы встретится позже, возможно?
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,725 Эй, смотри туда, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,150 Студийная забегаловка. Это здесь все богатые продюссеры кино,
00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:30,540 которые придумывают мм, голливудские блокбастеры, обедают.
00:11:30,575 --> 00:11:31,610 Круто, ага?
00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:35,970 Проклятье, Митч. Почему наша киностудия не может выбраться в победители?
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,730 Я полагаю мы умные, верно?
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:38,545 Мы действительно умные.
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:40,885 Нам нужна идея кино для семейного просмотра.
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,190 Эдакий бесшабашный фильмец для всей семьи.
00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:45,910 Эй, что там такое?
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,580 Вау, это действительно твой маленький робот, паренёк?
00:11:48,615 --> 00:11:49,465 Что он умеет делать?
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,845 Ну, он всё умеет. Смотрите сюда:
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,410 Эй, ЗАШИБАТОР, кто выиграет Суперкубок в следующем году?
00:11:54,445 --> 00:11:56,410 Нью-Орлеанс Сэйнтс.
00:11:58,350 --> 00:11:59,405 Эй, мистер Робот,
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,300 сколько палок мог бы бросить сурок, если бы сурок мог бросать палки?
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,830 Семнадцать.
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,940 Митч, ты думаешь о том же, о чем и я?
00:12:09,975 --> 00:12:10,835 Да.
00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:13,900 Возможно этот робот может быть запрограммирован на придумывание сюжетов для кино!
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:16,610 Вот именно!
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,865 Джентельмены, этот маленький мальчик любезно
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,350 позволил нам посмотреть его робота, ЗАШИБАТОРа 4000.
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,185 Я уже видел на что он способен.
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:26,350 Мм, извините меня сэр, но, мм, это - не робот.
00:12:26,385 --> 00:12:27,600 Не робот?
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:30,065 Нет, так как ясно отмечается двуногое движение,
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,370 более правильный термин будет - "компьютеризированый автоматрон".
00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:33,590 О, очень хорошо, Митч.
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:34,485 Ты очень умён.
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,985 Хорошо, независимо от этого, я верю, что, возможно,
00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:39,450 этот автоматрон может помочь нам придумать сюжеты.
00:12:39,490 --> 00:12:42,830 Как робот может придумать лучшие сюжеты, чем мы?
00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:43,585 Смотрите сюда:
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:47,010 ЗАШИБАТОР, учитывая текущие тенденции киноиндустрии,
00:12:47,270 --> 00:12:51,350 можете ли вы придумать сюжет для кинофильма, который принесёт сто миллионные кассовые сборы?
00:12:51,380 --> 00:12:54,535 Хм... окей. Вот например это:
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:58,935 Адам Сэндлер, к примеру, влюблён в одну девушку,
00:12:58,970 --> 00:13:02,970 но затем оказывается что эта девушка на самом деле... голден ретривер,
00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:04,050 или что-нибудь такое.
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:07,415 О, превосходно!
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:08,510 Мы назовем это "Щенячья любовь"!
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:10,595 Давай нам другой сюжет, ЗАШИБАТОР!
00:13:10,630 --> 00:13:12,860 Да да! Мы слушаем! Да, мы внимательно слушаем!
00:13:12,895 --> 00:13:13,685 Давай, давай!
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:14,715 Окей, как насчёт этого:
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:21,140 Адам Сэндлер... наследует миллион долларов, но вначале ему, к примеру, нужно стать... боксёром,
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:22,820 или что-нибудь такое.
00:13:22,855 --> 00:13:24,330 ...Да это безупречно!
00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:26,270 "Пьянящий миллиардер!"
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,835 Парень, Лос-Анджелес это круто, так ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:33,370 Ты можешь поверить, что эти парни заплатили нам за сюжеты по сто долларов за штуку?
00:13:33,405 --> 00:13:36,170 Ты должен разделить эти деньги с ЗАШИБАТОРом.
00:13:36,205 --> 00:13:38,375 Тем более, что это были идеи ЗАШИБАТОРа.
00:13:38,410 --> 00:13:40,670 Хахаха, верно! Что ты будешь делать с деньгами, ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:13:40,705 --> 00:13:42,075 Купишь штаны для робота?
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:45,175 Хаха, нет! У нас есть мы и это всё что нам надо, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:48,240 Я отошлю эти деньги нуждаюшимся детям в странах третьего мира.
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,265 Хааааа! Хаааа!
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,805 Ты в порядке, ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,990 ЗАШИБАТОР нуждается с отдыхе! Чувствую слабость.
00:13:54,025 --> 00:13:55,585 Хорошо, иди и отдохни, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:57,550 Завтра будет ещё один день подачи киноидей.
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:06,070 Джентельмены, леди, мы все знаем, что мы живём в тяжёлое время неуверенности.
00:14:06,105 --> 00:14:09,310 Риск нападения на американскую землю выше чем когда-либо.
00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:12,350 Теперь я верю, мы можем обуздать этот риск.
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,360 Два дня назад наш отдел исследований натолкнулся на это:
00:14:16,380 --> 00:14:20,365 ЗАШИБАТОР 4000.
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:24,430 В настоящее время оно используется Катамаунт Пикчерс для производства идей для фильмов.
00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:26,265 Наши источники сообщают нам,
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:30,300 что только за одну неделю оно придумало более чем одну тысячу идей,
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,700 восемьсот из которых с участием Адама Сендлера.
00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:34,870 Это невероятно!
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:39,180 Вы думаете робота можно использовать, чтобы тот мог придумать антиисламское кино?
00:14:39,215 --> 00:14:41,435 Нет. Если робот попадёт к нам в руки,
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:44,840 мы перепрограмируем его и сделаем из него оружие!
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,320 Да, это лучшее, что мы можем сделать из него.
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,845 Угу, угу. Я не вижу другого выбора.
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,040 Подождите секунду: если робот разработан для развлечения,
00:14:53,075 --> 00:14:54,870 превращать его в оружие неэтично.
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:55,765 Неэтично?
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,395 Позвольте мне объяснить вам кое-что, мистер учёный!
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:03,050 Мы понимаем, что робот из Японии! Это значит, что в Японии их больше!
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:07,350 И если японцы сделают из одного из них оружие раньше, чем мы это сделаем...
00:15:07,385 --> 00:15:09,880 Господи. Это будет ещё один Перл Харбор.
00:15:09,915 --> 00:15:12,070 Но хуже. С роботами.
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,490 Я прошу прощения, я должен возразить.
00:15:13,525 --> 00:15:15,635 У нас нет данных предполагать,
00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:18,230 что Япония производит роботов с небезопасными качествами.
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:21,040 Вам платят за то что вы думаете, мистер учёный!
00:15:21,075 --> 00:15:23,220 Национальная безопасность - наша работа.
00:15:26,590 --> 00:15:28,940 Джентельмены, мы отправляемся в Лос-Анджелес!
00:15:28,975 --> 00:15:31,730 Мне нужен этот робот!
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:36,650 Да, я и мой робот всё ещё на киностудии, тётя Нелли.
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,390 Мы делаем деньги для бедных.
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:42,575 Сюжет номер две тысячи триста пять:
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:48,790 Адам Сендлер заманен на остров, где влюбляется в кокос.
00:15:49,050 --> 00:15:50,615 Великолепно, ЗАШИБАТОР, великолепно.
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,870 Так ребята, перерыв. Мне нужно побыть минутку с ЗАШИБАТОРом наедине.
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:57,760 Ты невероятный робот, ЗАШИБАТОР.
00:15:57,795 --> 00:15:59,730 Я тут задался вопросом...
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,990 ты случайно не...
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,290 ...модель для удовольствия?
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,610 ...Что?
00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:09,650 Ну может быть ты был запрограммирован... на удовлетворение...
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:11,610 ...человеческих потребностей?
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,505 ЗАШИБАТОР не понимает.
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,190 Я покажу тебе, что я имею в виду.
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:19,025 Да, мы здорово проводим время, тётя Нелли.
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,920 Парни на киностудии - просто замечательные.
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,005 Стрём!
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:22,870 Ага, мы заработали уже пачку денег.
00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:24,480 Я сам не могу поверить в это.
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,540 ОТСТОЙ! ПОЛНЫЙ СТРЁМ!
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:28,905 ЗАШИБАТОР?
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:30,695 Ладно, я пойду, тётя Нелли.
00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:32,450 ЗАШИБАТОР что-то засбоил.
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,500 ЗАШИБАТОР? Эй, куда он пошёл?
00:16:38,930 --> 00:16:40,610 Аааааа!
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,775 Вперёд! Давай, давай!
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:49,600 ЗАШИБАТОР? Куда вы его тащите?!
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,170 Это мой робот!
00:16:56,980 --> 00:17:00,250 ЗАШИБАТОOOOOOOOOOOOOР!
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,720 Руки и ноги хорошо закреплены?
00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:11,665 Хорошо, сэр!
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,770 Хорошо. Я не хочу, чтобы робот мог двигаться,
00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:15,430 пока я не знаю на что он способен.
00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:16,710 Ну хорошо, включай его.
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,010 Хей хей хей хей хей!
00:17:22,330 --> 00:17:23,310 Что за дьявол?
00:17:23,345 --> 00:17:24,255 Что происходит?
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:26,880 Он... включил сам себя.
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,760 Будь наготове. Если что - уничтожай.
00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:33,615 Что за херня, где я?!
00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:35,080 Эй, почему я не могу двигаться?!
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:36,675 Твои системы стабильны?
00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:38,530 Запусти проверку центрального процессора.
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,120 Что за х... ю ты несёшь, чувак?!
00:17:40,155 --> 00:17:41,475 Э, я сожалею, робот,
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:43,590 они хотят чтобы я перепрограмировал тебя.
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,430 Я не робот, ты гавнюк! Я живой!
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,040 Что ты сказал?
00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:48,920 Я сказал, что я настоящий, идиот!
00:17:48,955 --> 00:17:51,250 ...О, господи.
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,215 Что случилось?
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:56,060 Робот... Он думает, что он живой.
00:17:56,095 --> 00:17:58,730 У него развитое сознание.
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,905 Что? Как это возможно?
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:04,565 Возможно сбой эксографической IMS или ошибка BV системы.
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,190 Говорите на языке который мы понимаем, мистер учёный!
00:18:08,225 --> 00:18:10,700 Ваш робот не знает, что он робот!
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:12,880 Проклятье, спустите меня отсюда!
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,920 Кто тебя сделал, робот?!
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:18,800 Я не робот, я человек!
00:18:18,835 --> 00:18:20,515 О боже, учёный прав.
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:23,070 Но кто запрограммировал его думать, что он человек?
00:18:23,105 --> 00:18:24,140 Киностудия?
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,555 Смотрите тупицы! Моё имя Эрик Картмэн!
00:18:26,590 --> 00:18:28,550 Я живу с мамой в Саут-Парке, штат Колорадо!
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,800 Господи, они дали ему воспоминания.
00:18:30,835 --> 00:18:31,835 Несомненно, а почему бы и нет?
00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:34,155 Запрограммировать воспоминания какого-нибудь восьмилетнего мальчика,
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:36,440 которого не существует и заставить робота думать, что он настоящий!
00:18:36,475 --> 00:18:38,365 И создавать лучшие фильмы!
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,920 Я не смогу его перепрограмировать, у него развитое сознание!
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:44,185 Мне напомнить о вашем положении?!
00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:47,890 Не забывайте о вашем долге перед страной, мистер учёный!
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,050 Я хочу СТЕРЕТЬ воспоминания и сознание этого робота,
00:18:52,085 --> 00:18:54,930 и мы заберём его в Вашингтон! ТАК ЯСНО?!
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:58,160 Будьте вы все прокляты!
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,330 Эй, вы слышали, что у меня был робо-друг?
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,640 Мы смеялись и играли, но кто-то забрал его.
00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:15,060 Он был моим другом на десять гигагерц.
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:21,910 Мой робо-друг.
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:23,830 Эй, погодите минутку.
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,490 Этот тот фургон...
00:19:27,525 --> 00:19:28,580 О, господи!
00:19:30,190 --> 00:19:33,350 Проклятье, прекратите! Я настоящий! Я настоящий!
00:19:33,385 --> 00:19:35,640 Это скоро закончится, робот!
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:41,720 Держись! Я вытащу тебя оттуда, робот!
00:19:41,755 --> 00:19:43,807 Аа, самое время, ослина!
00:19:43,842 --> 00:19:45,860 Что за хрень тут творится?!
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:49,025 Хорошо я, я спасаю сознательное существо!
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:51,510 Если вы хотите убить его, вам придётся пройти через меня!
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:54,230 Отлично. Убейте сукиного сына!
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:55,965 Нет! Смотрите, черт побери!
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,350 Сейчас я покажу вашим тупым жопам, кто я на самом деле!
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,690 ЗАШИБАТОР!
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:03,150 Я ЗАШИБАТОР 4000.
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,530 Нет, пожалуйста! Не убивайте его!
00:20:08,565 --> 00:20:10,230 Он мой лучший друг!
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,200 Он мой лучший друг в целом мире!
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,085 Вот. Вы видите?
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,825 Вы хотите сказать мне, что это не человечность?
00:20:21,860 --> 00:20:25,490 Кто может судить о том, что делает человека именно таким, какой он есть?!
00:20:25,530 --> 00:20:27,450 Что делает меня человеком?! Это?
00:20:27,485 --> 00:20:30,820 Или это?! Или это?!
00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:34,895 Возможно...
00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:36,675 у этого робота есть сознание.
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:40,780 Возможно наше общество должно понять, что искуственный интеллект...
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:42,975 такой же интеллект,
00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:45,325 и мы сможем учиться у роботов.
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:48,240 Возможно когда-нибудь мы все вместе-
00:20:49,990 --> 00:20:51,200 Эй- минутку, что это,
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,410 робот только что пёрнул?
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,290 Эй, роботы не пердят!
00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:57,470 Ох... закончил синтезировать пердеж.
00:20:57,505 --> 00:20:58,700 Оох, и это, это так воняет!
00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:00,340 Инициализирован синтез вони.
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:01,932 Робот с вонючим пердежём?
00:21:01,967 --> 00:21:03,490 В этом нет никакого смысла.
00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:05,380 Погодите секунду!
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:13,585 Хочешь потрогать моё тело? Иди и потрогай моё тело!
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:17,040 Oooo, моё горячее тело! Тебе не нравится моё горячее тело?
00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:20,705 Иди и потрогай мои титьки! Я чуствую то же?
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:24,540 Давай Джастин, потрогай моё тело! Мммм, Джастин, да!
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:28,340 Трогай моё тело! Ты и я! Зацени моё горячее тело!
00:21:28,375 --> 00:21:30,920 Давай, моё тело!
00:21:31,430 --> 00:21:33,780 Вау, паренёк, да ты маленький гомосек!
00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,150 Отстой...

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,443 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,291 [ Doorbell rings ]
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,503 What the heck?
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,464 Whoa! What a huge package!
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,007 "To: Butters Stotch."
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,884 Oh, boy! It's for me! It's for me!
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,093 Who is it from?!
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,679 "Sent from: Japan. Konichi-wa!"
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,724 Wow! A package for me from Japan!
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,517 Wow. What could it be?
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,770 My birthday isn't until September 11th!
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,689 Oh, boy! I've never gotten a package this big.
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,816 I've always wanted to have a huge package!
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,443 [ Grunts ]
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,986 Aah!
00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:14,700 CARTMAN: [ Robotic voice ] Greetings.
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,870 I am the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,581 - [ Down-tempo music plays ] - Whoa.
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:25,377 I have been sent from Japan to serve as your personal robot.
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,880 You -- You're <i>my</i> robot?
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,424 Yes. I will be your new best friend.
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,842 Oh, wow!
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,387 Yep, that's right. He's a real, live robot.
00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:36,889 He can walk and talk and everything!
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,516 You're like the fourth kid I've told already!
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:40,434 [ Snickering ]
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:43,187 Well, I got to go, Dougie. My robot and I have stuff to do.
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,231 [ Chuckles ] They're all so jealous.
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,525 I'm so glad you came into my life, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,485 You're the best friend a guy could have.
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,195 Yes. You can trust A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,072 In fact, you should tell A.W.E.S.O.M.-O
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,740 all your most personal secrets.
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,408 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O will not make fun of you
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,869 or tell your secrets to other people and stuff.
00:01:58,994 --> 00:01:59,995 Hey, yeah!
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,081 Well, I can tell you anything, huh?
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,165 Well, let's see.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,250 Well, for one,
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,418 I have what's called a heshiated colon,
00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:08,629 which means I sometimes can't control my sphincter.
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,089 [ Snickers ] Really?
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,341 Nobody knows it, but sometimes I poop my pants.
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,009 So I have to wear a diaper to school.
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,469 [ Snickering ]
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,846 You okay, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,640 Yes. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is fine. Please go on.
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,767 Well, I have to take medicine for it every day.
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,603 It's a little suppository I have to put up my rectum.
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,398 [ Snickers ] That -- That's very interesting.
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,150 Tell A.W.E.S.O.M.-O more secrets.
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,651 Oh, okay. Let's see.
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:31,986 Oh, my parents don't know,
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:34,488 but sometimes I get picked on by this one kid at school.
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:35,656 His name is Eric Cartman,
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,825 and he always tries to play jokes on me and stuff.
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,410 - Oh? Really? - Yeah!
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,579 One time he made me think a meteor had hit the earth
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:44,373 and convinced me to stay down in a bomb shelter for three days.
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,083 [ Snickers ] Wow. That sucks.
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:46,917 Yeah.
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,043 And then this other time,
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,045 he pretended to be me on the phone to my dad
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,338 and called him a pussy.
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,965 And so my dad came home and beat me.
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:53,883 Wow.
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,093 Sounds like this Cartman kid is pretty smart.
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,304 No, he's not smart. He's just an asshole.
00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:01,056 And he's never gonna play a trick on me ever again!
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,975 Really? You think so?
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,853 Well, guess what, Butters. I have a surprise for you.
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,521 Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again,
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:08,898 'cause what Cartman doesn't know
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,525 is that I know one of <i>his</i> secrets.
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,610 What?
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,695 When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard,
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,572 he likes to dress up like Britney Spears
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,740 and pretend he's her.
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,992 He sings and dances around with a life-size cutout
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,285 of Justin Timberlake.
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,704 You saw that?
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,624 Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it!
00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:27,625 Nunh-unh.
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,210 I've got the whole thing on tape --
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,837 even him making out with the Justin Timberlake cutout.
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,130 - No way. - Yeah!
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,965 And if Cartman ever messes with me again,
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,926 I'm gonna show that video to everybody.
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,677 Then I'll have my revenge, boy howdy!
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,473 Um, where is this videotape, Butters?
00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:44,683 Huh? Oh, I don't know. It's around here somewhere.
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,560 Hey, so what do you want to do now, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:50,147 Uh, Butters, maybe you should give A.W.E.S.O.M.-O the videotape.
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:50,940 How come?
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:54,360 Well, because A.W.E.S.O.M.-O can, like, back it up for you
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,903 and make copies and stuff.
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,196 I am A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,697 Oh, that's all right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Come on!
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,908 I have a lot of things to teach you!
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,369 Oh, son of a bitch.
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:06,288 [ Tune to Harry Nilsson's "Best Friend" plays ]
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,291 BUTTERS: ♪ Hey, there, have you heard about my robot friend? ♪
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,461 ♪ He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all ♪
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,256 ♪ He's a cyber-wired bundle of joy ♪
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:19,009 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:22,179 ♪ I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend ♪
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:25,307 ♪ He's smart as can be and emotion-free ♪
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,768 ♪ And he's computed his way to my heart ♪
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,980 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,275 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,403 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,656 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,825 Oh, that's so cute.
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,286 Did you see Butters and his friend Eric playing robot?
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,579 Yes. Those boys are quite imaginative.
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,873 Leave it to them to find a fun way to do the dishes.
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,792 That's great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,752 You can carry all my laundry in one trip!
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,087 Uh, Butters, it's getting late.
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,755 You should be getting ready for bed soon.
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,756 Okay, Mom.
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,258 Well, come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Bedtime.
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,427 Oh, is your little robot friend staying the night?
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,971 Well, of course he is. He's my robot, ain't he?
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,931 That's okay with your mom, Mr. Robot?
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,599 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not have a mom.
00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:09,601 Yep. Don't you know nothin' about robots?
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:12,604 Come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! You can put my laundry away.
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:13,939 Oh, that's just adorable!
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,733 It's good to see Butters finally have a friend
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,276 that wants to stay over.
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,570 ♪ I love to brush my teeth ♪
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,113 ♪ In the morning and at night ♪
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,074 [ Whispering ] Ugh. Jesus Christ. I can't go on like this.
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,951 [ Robotic voice ] Butters, remember when you said
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,829 you had a video of Eric Cartman dressed like Britney Spears?
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,289 Oh. Yeah?
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,124 I would like to see what he looks like
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,917 so I can beat him up for you.
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,294 May I see the video?
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:36,879 Aw, you don't need to do that, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,381 Hey, I got to put in my suppository. Can you help me?
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,758 What?
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,301 Remember I said I had to put that
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,886 medicinal suppository in my anus?
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,138 It'll be so much easier having you do it from now on.
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:47,681 Um...actually...
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,975 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O was not programmed for that function.
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,061 Aw, it's real easy. I'll show you.
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,646 You just take this little thingy out of the plastic paper.
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,523 And then I'll -- I'll pull down my pants.
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,859 And just slide it up in my anus there.
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:00,486 No way.
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,154 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, I thought you were programmed
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,198 to do whatever I tell you.
00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:05,699 Weak.
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,701 Yeah. That -- That's pretty good.
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,244 Get it up there good and deep.
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,287 Lame.
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,998 BUTTERS: All right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Time for us to get some sleep.
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,334 Hey, you want me to teach you some bedtime songs?
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,044 ♪ If you leave me now ♪
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,213 ♪ You take away the biggest part of me ♪
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,547 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh -- ♪
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:24,051 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O must rest his CPU. System overloading.
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,844 Oh. Oh, all right, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:29,807 Let's get us some shut-eye -- or whatever robots have.
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,559 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,774 [ Rooster crows ]
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:43,195 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,324 [ Whispering ] Where is it?! Where is it?!
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,118 - A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! - Ah!
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,120 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, what the Sam heck are you doing?
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:55,374 Um, A-A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is reorganizing your stuff for you.
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:56,875 Oh, cheese geez Louise!
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,253 My mom is gonna be awful sore when she sees this mess!
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,213 Now, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, that is a bad robot!
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,841 You can't do no chores for me unless I tell you to do them.
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:04,925 You got it?
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,510 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O understands.
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554 I'm gonna have to give you a spankin', A.W.E.S.O.M.-O,
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,264 so that you learn better.
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,144 And just know, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, that I did it because I love you.
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,896 Okay. Come on. Let's go make some breakfast.
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,691 [ Normal voice ] God damn it. I have to find that videotape!
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,195 Look at that, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,365 I drew a picture of us playing in a field together.
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,575 I'll be right back.
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,368 I'm gonna go get some Sunny Delight.
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,203 I would like some Sunny Delight, too.
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,289 [ Chuckles ] Don't be silly, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,999 Robots don't need to drink nothin'.
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,000 [ Laughs ]
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,042 [ Doorbell rings ]
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,211 Oh! Go answer the door, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,755 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O will answer the door.
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,634 What the hell are you doing, fat-ass?
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,261 Dude, are you still pretending to be a robot?
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,220 Shh!
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,264 I just need to, uh, make Butters think I'm a robot
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,432 for a little while longer.
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:54,975 Why?
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,518 Because I need to, all right?!
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,853 I've got something planned
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,438 that's, uh, going to be really sweet.
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,814 Just play along, okay?
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,274 Why?
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,152 - Kyle, God damn it. Will you -- - Who's at the door, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,324 [ Robotic voice ] Three boys named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:13,118 Oh, hey, fellas! I see you've met my robot.
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,578 Uh, yeah, Butters. He's real cool.
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,704 He sure is!
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,206 We do everything together.
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,958 Last night, we even had a slumber party.
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,335 Weak.
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,170 He can do anything I command him to.
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,880 He's real smart. Watch this.
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,799 Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, will you go get my friends some Sunny Delight?
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,551 Yes. Of course.
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,221 Oh, wait.
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,473 Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, I'd also like some celery sticks
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,641 chopped up two inches long
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,268 with peanut butter and raisins on top.
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,063 Suck my balls, Kyle.
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:44,233 He's made in Japan!
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,859 Yes, it has just been a delight
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,694 having your son over, Mrs. Cartman.
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,988 He and Butters are really getting along great.
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,990 Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Mrs. Stotch.
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,493 Eric has been having some emotional problems lately.
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:55,786 Well, the reason I'm calling
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,371 is that Butters is supposed to go see
00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,206 his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles this weekend.
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,999 The boys are getting along so well
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,919 that we were thinking of inviting Eric to go along.
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,837 Oh. Well, I'm not sure.
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,173 Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,884 for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago.
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,178 Excuse me? I didn't catch that.
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,097 Oh, but I suppose it would be good for him.
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,223 Yes. Of course he can go.
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641 I'll bring some of his clothes over.
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,935 Oh, wonderful! The boys will be so excited.
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,354 Maybe he put that videotape in here somewhere.
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,730 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, what are you doing?
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,566 My friends are waiting for their beverages.
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,817 Chop-chop!
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,485 Hey, guys! Great news!
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:29,695 It's all been arranged --
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,363 You two are both going to Los Angeles
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,031 to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie!
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,076 Oh, boy! My robot gets to come with me to see Aunt Nellie?!
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:36,910 What?
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,161 Oh, boy, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,414 We're gonna have the best time ever!
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:41,957 Lame.
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,629 Hey, Nellie.
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,798 Look what I found scrampin' around the airport.
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,882 Hi, Aunt Nellie!
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,759 There's my little nephew!
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,928 - How was your flight? - It was long.
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,805 We had a three-hour delay departing Denver,
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:57,848 but we're here!
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,099 Didn't you bring any bags?
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,059 Well, sure, but my robot is bringing them in.
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,227 Your robot?
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,396 Butters' new friend is a little strange.
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:07,649 He -- He really takes playing robot seriously.
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,152 [ Grunting ]
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,403 There he is!
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,113 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, this is my Aunt Nellie.
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,115 Hello! It's nice to have you here!
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,618 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O must dispense oil waste.
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,411 Where is the nearest toilet, please?
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,580 Oh, right through there, Mr. Robot.
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,540 Thank you.
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,293 I don't think he took the costume off the entire trip.
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,128 Did you want to get right to sightseeing,
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,130 or are you boys hungry after such a long flight?
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,673 Naw. I ate on the plane.
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,051 And A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is a robot, so he don't need to eat.
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,302 Right.
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,556 [ Gasping, panting ]
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,893 Oh! Oh!
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,938 [ Moaning ]
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,816 - [ Knock on door ] - BUTTERS: A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,193 Uh -- Uh -- A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is coming.
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,196 Come on, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! We're gonna go a-sightseein'!
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,364 [ Groans ]
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,075 [ Tune to "Best Friend" plays ]
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,328 BUTTERS: ♪ I'm hanging out in L.A. with my robot friend ♪
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,539 ♪ We're havin' such fun in the hot, hot sun ♪
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,874 ♪ We're two of a kind ♪
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:10,045 ♪ That's me and my robot friend ♪
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,340 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,550 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:17,844 Can you believe we're at a real, live movie studio, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,638 Aren't we having the best time?
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,764 Butters, wouldn't you like
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,641 to have some time away from A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,226 We could meet up later, perhaps.
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,770 Hey, look over there, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O! The film-studio commissary.
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,230 That's where all them rich movie producers
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,399 that come up with Hollywood blockbusters have their lunch.
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,692 Neat-o, huh?
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,276 Damn it, Mitch,
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:35,862 how come our movie studio can't come up with any winners?
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,490 - I mean, we're smart, right? - We're really smart.
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,909 We need an idea for a movie that's a home run --
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,870 a feel-good romp for the whole family.
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,956 Hey, what's that over there?
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,291 Wow! That's a really neat little robot you have, little boy.
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:49,418 What's he do?
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,712 Well, he can do anything! Watch this.
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,297 Hey, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, who's gonna win the Super Bowl next year?
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,091 The New Orleans Saints.
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,343 [ Laughter ]
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,637 Hey, Mr. Robot, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,431 if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,515 17.
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,727 [ Laughter ]
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:09,438 Mitch, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:10,480 Yeah.
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,190 Maybe that robot can be programmed
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,443 to come up with movie ideas!
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,486 Exactly.
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,155 Gentlemen, this little boy was kind enough
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,074 to let us show you his robot -- the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,034 I've already seen what it can do.
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,204 Uh, excuse me, sir, but, uh, that's not a robot.
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,706 It's not?
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,541 No. It clearly has bipedal movement.
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,085 So the correct term is computerized automatron.
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,212 - Oh, very nice, Mitch. - You <i>are</i> the smart one.
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,882 Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,384 can help us come up with new movie ideas.
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:42,637 How can a robot come up with better ideas for movies than us?
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:43,638 Watch this.
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:47,017 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O, given the current trends of the moviegoing public,
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,769 can you come up with an idea for a movie
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,772 that will break $100 million box office?
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:54,566 Um...okay. How about this?
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,779 Adam Sandler is, like, in love with some girl.
00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:00,739 But then it turns out that the girl
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,117 is actually a golden retriever or something.
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,120 Oh, perfect!
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,538 We'll call it "Puppy Love"!
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,415 Give us another movie idea, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,625 - Yeah! - Let's hear it!
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,251 - Yeah! We want to hear them! - Come on! Come on!
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,377 Okay. How about this?
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,756 A-Adam Sandler inherits like a billion dollars.
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:22,761 But first he has to, like, become a boxer or something.
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,304 Yes! It's flawless!
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,431 "Punch-Drunk Billionaire"!
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,518 Boy, Los Angeles is great, huh, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:31,937 Can you believe those guys paid us $100 apiece
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,647 for those movie ideas?
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,982 You should split that money with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,692 After all, they were A.W.E.S.O.M.-O's ideas.
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:38,902 [ Laughing ] Oh, right!
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,654 What are you gonna do with money, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O --
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,322 buy some robot pants?
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,950 No, we've got each other, and that's all we need, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,159 I'm gonna send this money
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,036 to needy kids in Third World countries.
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,121 [ Groans ]
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,414 Y-You okay, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,792 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O needs to rest! Feeling faint!
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,168 You go ahead and relax, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,921 We've got another full day of pitching movies tomorrow.
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,924 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,009 Gentlemen, ladies,
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,846 we all know that we live in a time of uncertainty.
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:08,056 The risk of an attack on American soil
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,391 is higher than ever.
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,769 Now I believe we might be able to curb that risk.
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:17,023 Two days ago, our intelligence department came across this.
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,233 [ Beeping ]
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,151 The A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,362 It is currently being used by Catamount Pictures
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,030 to develop ideas for movies.
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,740 Our sources say that in just one week,
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:29,369 it has come up with over 1,000 movie ideas,
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,705 800 of which feature Adam Sandler.
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,831 - Oh, my God. - That's amazing.
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:33,748 Adam Sandler.
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:34,875 That's incredible!
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,085 You're thinking the robot could be used
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,879 to come up with anti-Islamic movies?
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:39,379 No.
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,339 If we got our hands on that robot,
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:45,886 we could reprogram it and turn it into a weapon.
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:48,013 Yes. That might be the best thing to do.
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,681 Uh-huh. I don't see how we have a choice.
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:50,724 Hold on a second.
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,475 If that robot is designed for entertainment,
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,644 then turning it into a weapon is unethical.
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:55,687 Unethical?
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,565 Let me explain something to you, Mr. Scientist.
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,650 We understand that the robot is from Japan.
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,236 That means that the Japanese have more of them.
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,864 And if the Japanese fabricates one of them into a weapon
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,073 before we do...
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,618 Jesus. It would be Pearl Harbor all over again.
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,912 But worse -- with robots.
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,455 I'm sorry. I must protest.
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,207 We -- We have no data suggesting the Japanese have developed
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,001 a robot with offensive capability.
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,837 You're paid to think, Mr. Scientist!
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,131 National security is <i>our</i> job.
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:29,095 Gentlemen, we're going to Los Angeles.
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,140 I want that robot.
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,434 Yeah, me and my robot
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,436 are still over at the movie studio, Aunt Nellie.
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,688 We're makin' all kinds of money for the poor!
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,859 [ Wearily ] Movie idea number 2,305 --
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,862 Adam Sandler is trapped on an island
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,823 and falls in love with a coconut.
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:49,991 Great, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. Great.
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,034 Guys, take a break.
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,786 I need a minute alone with A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:55,372 [ Indistinct conversations ]
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,458 You are an incredible robot, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,919 I was just wondering...
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:04,255 are you by chance a pleasure model?
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:05,715 What?
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,636 Well, have you been programmed to satisfy...
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,972 the urges of humans?
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,182 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O does not understand.
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,559 Let me show you what I mean.
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,520 Yeah, we're having a great time, Aunt Nellie.
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,480 These movie-studio guys are real nice.
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,523 CARTMAN: Lame!
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,941 Yeah, we're making a bunch more money.
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,651 I can't believe it either.
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,779 Not cool! Totally lame!
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,114 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,198 I got to go, Aunt Nellie.
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,742 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O is having some kind of malfunction.
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,120 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O? Hey, where'd you go?
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,042 - [ Groans ] - [ Electricity crackling ]
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,043 [ Grunts ]
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,712 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,213 Let's go! Move! Move!
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,256 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O?
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,632 Hey! What are you doing with him?!
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,096 That's my robot!
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,557 [ Engine revs, tires screech ]
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,936 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O-O-O-O!
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:03,231 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,442 [ Whirring, clicks ]
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,321 Are those arm and leg locks secure?
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:11,906 - Secure, sir. - Good.
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,324 I don't want that robot mobile
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,118 until I know what it's capable of.
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,244 All right. Power it on.
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,829 [ Whirring ]
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,875 [ Normal voice ] Wha-whoa-wha-whoa-- Oh!
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,835 - What the hell? - What's going on?
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,504 It...powered <i>itself</i> back on.
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,592 Stand by. Be ready to destroy it.
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,052 [ Gun cocks ]
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:35,013 Where the hell am I? Hey! Why can't I move?!
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,306 Are your systems stable?
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:37,974 Run a systems check on your CPU.
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,476 The fuck are you talking about, dude?
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:43,188 I-I'm sorry, robot, but they want me to reprogram you.
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,231 I'm not a robot, dumb-ass! I'm alive!
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,274 What did you say?
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,651 I said I'm a real person, ass-wipe!
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,863 Oh, my God.
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,031 What's happening?
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,242 The robot -- It thinks it's alive.
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,661 It's developed consciousness.
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,497 What? How can that be?
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,582 Must be a malfunction of its hexagraphical IMS
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,334 or the interlaced B.V. system.
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:07,670 Speak in a language we can understand, Mr. Scientist.
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,423 Your robot doesn't know it's a robot!
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,217 God damn it, get me down from here.
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,179 Who made you, robot?
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,389 I'm not a robot. I'm a human!
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,058 Jesus. The scientist is right.
00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,727 But who would have programmed it to think it was human?
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:23,770 The movie studio?
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:26,064 Look, retards, my name is Eric Cartman!
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,233 I live with my mom in South Park, Colorado.
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,485 Dear Christ. They gave it memories, too.
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,528 Sure. Why not?
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,571 Program the memories of some eight-year-old boy
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,366 who doesn't exist, and make the robot think he's real.
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,118 Makes for a lot better movies.
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:41,663 I'm not reprogramming a robot that's developed consciousness.
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,082 Do I have to remind you of your position?!
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:48,294 Don't forget you have a duty to your country, Mr. Scientist!
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756 I want that robot's memories and consciousness erased
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,466 so we can take it back to Washington.
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:54,717 Got it?!
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,887 Damn you all to hell.
00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:01,391 [ Slow piano music plays ]
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,601 BUTTERS: [ Voice breaking ] ♪ Hey, there, did you know ♪
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,646 ♪ I had a robot friend? ♪
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,232 ♪ We used to laugh and play ♪
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,152 ♪ But someone took him away ♪
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:17,365 ♪ He was my 10-gigahertz old pal ♪
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:21,286 ♪ My robot friend ♪
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,788 Hey, wait a minute.
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,293 Well, that's the van that -- Oh, my God!
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:29,335 [ Whirring ]
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,547 God damn it, stop! I'm real! I'm real!
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,133 It'll all be over soon, robot!
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,926 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,511 [ Grunts ]
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,472 Hang on. I'm getting you out of here, robot.
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,433 Oh, it's about friggin' time, jackass!
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,518 What the hell are you doing?!
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,813 I-I'm saving a conscious being.
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,399 If you want to kill it, you'll have to go through me!
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,110 Fine. Kill that son of a bitch.
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,486 No! Look, God damn it.
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:58,114 Now I can show you stupid assholes who I really am.
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,116 A.W.E.S.O.M.-O!
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,244 [ Robotic voice ] I am the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000.
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,538 [ Grunts ]
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,207 No! No! Please!
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,709 Don't kill him! He's my best friend!
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,961 He's my best friend in the whole world!
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:15,048 He's my... [ Sobs ]
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,219 [ Weakly ] There. You see?
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,930 You want to tell me <i>this</i> isn't humanity?
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:25,183 Who's to judge what makes something human, anyway?
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:27,393 Does <i>this</i> make me human?
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,978 Or this?
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,521 Or these?
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,731 [ Grunts ]
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,819 Perhaps...there <i>is</i> consciousness in this robot.
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,239 Maybe we as a society need to realize
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,784 that artificial intelligence is intelligence all the same
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,703 and we <i>can</i> learn from the robots.
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,497 I think maybe one day we can all --
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,332 [ Farts ]
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,252 Wait a minute. Did -- Did that robot just fart?
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,295 Hey, robots don't fart.
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,631 Uh, now ending fart sequence.
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,299 Oh, and it -- it smells, too!
00:20:58,424 --> 00:20:59,926 Smell sequence initiated.
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:03,179 A robot with smelly farts? That doesn't make any sense.
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,139 Hang on a second here!
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,267 [All gasp ]
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,435 - [ Laughter ] - [ Up-tempo music playing ]
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,396 ♪ Would you like to touch my body? ♪
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,147 ♪ Come on and touch my body ♪
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,983 ♪ Ooh, my hot body ♪
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,776 ♪ Don't you like my hot body? ♪
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,653 ♪ Come on and touch my titties ♪
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,655 ♪ I've got such nice, ripe titties ♪
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,615 ♪ Come on, Justin, touch my body ♪
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,450 Ooh, Justin. Yeah.
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,160 ♪ Touch my body, you and me ♪
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,454 ♪ Check out my nice, hard body ♪
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,498 ♪ Come on, my body ♪
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,209 Wow, kid. You're a little faggot.
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:34,836 Lame.

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