Страсти жидовы — Картман убеждает Кайла посмотреть фильм Мела Гибсона «Страсти Христовы» и создаёт антисемитскую организацию.

Предыдущая серия S08 E02 Обратная сторона стероидов

Следующая серия S08 E04 Вас только что в’ли в ж’у

Страсти жидовы

The Passion of the Jew

Сезон: 08Серия: 03

Описание

Картман убеждает Кайла посмотреть фильм Мела Гибсона «Страсти Христовы» и создаёт антисемитскую организацию.

Субтитры

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,332 - Zhhhh! - Rrrrr!
00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,752 Captain Cartman reporting from shuttlecraft <i>Spontaneity,</i>
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,336 approaching planet Omega Nine.
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,589 Warp drive disengaged. Landing sequence initiated.
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,049 What kind of atmosphere are you reading
00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,467 on the planet's surface, Jew?
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,886 - I'm a Vulcan! - All right.
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,346 What kind of atmosphere are you reading, Vulcan-Jew?
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:57,349 The atmosphere is oxygen-based. Should support our breathing.
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018 All right. Hang on. We're about to land.
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,729 - Rrr! Br-br-br-br-br-br! - Zhhhh!
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:02,563 Okay.
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,023 First Officer Stan and Engineer Kenny,
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,274 come with me on the away team.
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,609 Vulcan-Jew Kyle will wait here.
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,027 No! I'm on the away team, too!
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,654 It's <i>my</i> mom's new minivan, so I'm the captain, Kyle!
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740 I don't care! You're not making me wait in the van again!
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:13,657 Fine, Kyle!
00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,701 But if something goes wrong on the planet's surface,
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,536 don't hold me responsible.
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,209 Set phasers on stun.
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,794 Things seem pretty quiet.
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,712 Yes. A little too quiet.
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,423 I am picking up carbon-based life-forms in Sector C.
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,508 I believe we will find
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,551 a village of peaceful aliens over that ridge.
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,720 Ugh. Okay. Fine. I guess we'll go look --
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:35,888 Oh, no! Look out!
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681 It's a giant four-headed lava frog!
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,682 Shoot it!
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,309 - Byew-byew! Byew-byew! - Byoo!
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,936 Oh, no! It's got Kyle!
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,145 No, it doesn't.
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,980 Oh, it's got Kyle, and it's tearing his head off!
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,649 Oh, you guys, looks like Kyle is done for.
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,650 No, I'm not!
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,027 God damn it, Cartman, you are not gonna kill me off again!
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,153 Ugh. You see, guys?
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,364 This is why you don't bring Jews along on the away team.
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:54,323 They don't play along.
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,408 Shut up about Jews, fat-ass! You don't know anything!
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:57,576 Oh, God. Here we go again.
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,829 Oh, yeah? I saw Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion."
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,248 And Mel Gibson says in the movie Jews are the devil!
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,874 - He does not! - How do you know?!
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,960 I've seen "The Passion" 34 times now, Kyle.
00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,294 You haven't seen it once!
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,547 There's one part where the Jews have a chance to save Jesus,
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:10,548 and you know what they do?
00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,008 They let Barabbas, a serial killer, go free instead
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,093 and <i>laugh</i> about it!
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,011 - Nuh-unh! - Go see the movie, Kyle!
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,888 I'm sick of you guys arguing about "The Passion."
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,014 - I'm out of here. - Mrph rm.
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,516 I'm not arguing about "The Passion"!
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,684 He's being an asshole!
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,894 You know what it is? You're scared.
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,146 You're scared of the truth.
00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,772 You don't want that movie to show you
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,275 just how bad the Jews are and why everyone hates you.
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,110 - People don't hate the Jews! - Really?
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,279 $300 million domestic box office, Kyle.
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:36,198 The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle.
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,867 Those numbers don't lie.
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,452 If you're not scared of "The Passion," then go see it.
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,246 Go see it and tell me I'm wrong.
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,081 Mel Gibson, Kyle.
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,000 Mel Gibson.
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:48,919 You're a stupid asshole.
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,634 Sweet. Now I can just play with myself.
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,179 Pew-pew-pew! Get back in the shuttlecraft!
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,357 One, please.
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,194 This is an R-rated movie.
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,320 Yeah, I know. But I have to --
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,614 But because this is such an important film
00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:19,491 that accurately depicts the selfless acts of Jesus Christ,
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,327 I'll let you in to see it.
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,120 Thanks.
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,487 Aah!
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,049 How?
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,510 How could the Jews do that to Jesus?
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,804 Pretty brutal, isn't it?
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,307 Kind of makes you want to change your life, huh?
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,393 And now back to "Terrance & Phillip."
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,144 Hey, Terrance!
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,479 Mom! Doorbell!
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,274 Wait. Before you do, pull my thumb.
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,401 Mom, answer the door!
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,988 God damn it. Lazy-ass whore.
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,407 Fart.
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,870 You were right. You were right all along.
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,998 I thought you were just an asshole when you ripped on Jews,
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541 but...I didn't know.
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,168 I-I didn't know.
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,588 It's okay, Kyle. It's okay.
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,466 Just...say that first part again.
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,469 You -- You were right?
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972 Mm. One more time, Kyle.
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,974 You were right.
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,479 I want to thank You for all the blessings You have brought me.
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,773 You have shown me the way so many times in the past,
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900 and now You are making all my dreams come true.
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,736 You give me strength where there is doubt,
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,446 and I praise You for all You have done.
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,532 Only You, Mel Gibson, have had the wisdom and the courage
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,992 to show the world the truth.
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,994 From this day forward, I will dedicate my life
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,246 to making sure Your film is seen by everyone.
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,041 I will organize the masses so that we may do Thy bidding.
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,960 Hail Mel Gibson. Amen.
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,130 Look at that, dude.
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,299 "The Passion" has made almost $400 million
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,009 - at the box office now. - Mrph rm.
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,927 Everyone in the country is going to see that movie.
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,472 I guess we have to go see it, too.
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955 Dude.
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,665 That movie sucked!
00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,167 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,794 How do they even call that a movie?
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:17,878 Mrph rm!
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,880 That's bullcrap, dude. Let's go get our money back.
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,840 Mrph!
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,177 Wow. I didn't realize how horrible Christ's death was.
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,387 Me neither.
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,723 Oh, honey, let's be good Christians from now on.
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,768 I think if more people saw "The Passion,"
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,144 they'd have faith in Jesus.
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,523 Yeah. It really guilt-trips you into believing.
00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:42,361 - Hey, we want our money back. - Huh?
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,488 That movie sucked ass. Give us back our $18.
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,074 I can't refund your money. You sat through the whole movie.
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,075 That wasn't a movie.
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,618 - That was a snuff film. - Mrph!
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,329 You can't charge to watch a guy get tortured for two hours.
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,164 That <i>guy</i> happens to be Jesus.
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917 And he went through all that to pay for your sins!
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,127 We go to church to learn that stuff.
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,420 We go to movies to be entertained.
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,130 We weren't entertained, and we want our money back!
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,714 I'm not allowed to give your money back
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,299 after you sat through the whole movie!
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,801 You'd have to take your complaint up
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,428 with the film's producers.
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,305 What, Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson?
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,141 Yeah. I'd like to see you try.
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,142 Oh, we will.
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,810 This is America, and in America, if something sucks,
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437 you're supposed to be able to get your money back!
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272 Come on, Kenny!
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531 Kill him!
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,074 - Kill Jesus! - Kill him!
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,492 Kill that guy!
00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,748 - Kill him! - Watch him die!
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,750 Kill Jesus! Eeeeeh!
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,562 Okay. Search for "Mel Gibson."
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,481 Mel Gibson bio. Mel Gibson news.
00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,940 Mel Gibson home page. Here we go.
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,859 "Welcome to melgibsonsthepassion.com --
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,235 your source for everything Mel.
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,653 Pictures, philosophy, upcoming projects."
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,946 Damn it. No phone number. Oh, wait.
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,198 "For more information on Mel Gibson,
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,949 call the webmaster at 1-800-43..."
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:11,950 Okay. Wait. Here we go.
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,877 Mel Gibson's "The Passion" Fan Club.
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,004 Hi. My friend and I just went to see "The Passion."
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,797 And so you want to join the fan club now.
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,841 Our first meeting is tomorrow at 5:30 p.m.
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,219 No, no, no. No. We want our money back.
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,012 - What? - We think the movie sucked,
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,932 and we want Mel Gibson to give us back our $18.
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:35,933 You thought it sucked?
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,476 Sir, apparently you don't understand
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,894 what Mel Gibson was trying to do.
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,479 He was trying to express, through cinema,
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,439 the horror and filthiness of the common Jew.
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,483 It has made people the world over open their eyes.
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,276 Look, we just thought it was a bad movie.
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,487 So tell us how to get in touch with Mel Gibson.
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,405 If I knew where Mel Gibson was, I'd be down on the floor
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,324 licking his balls at this very moment, sir.
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,284 All I know is he lives somewhere in Malibu.
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,078 Now stop wasting me and Mel Gibson's time,
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,412 you little wussy prick.
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,623 Don't take that tone with me. I'll kick your ass.
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,583 Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you try, asshole!
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,876 I'm like 6 feet tall!
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,795 I don't care. You sound like a little bitch to me!
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172 Bitch, don't call me bitch! I'll pop your fucking head open!
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,549 You want to bring it, you little pussy?
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,800 I already brought it, bitch!
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,177 I brought it, set it down on the table, and opened it, bitch!
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,846 Wait a minute. Cartman?
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,599 Ooh.
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,061 Come on, Kenny. We're going to Malibu.
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,105 - Mrph? Mrph rm? - We'll take the bus!
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,399 Look, this isn't about the $18 ticket money anymore.
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,776 This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible.
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,821 This is like when we got our money back for "BASEketball."
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,664 Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch of people showing up
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,833 in our backyard saying something about a meeting.
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,084 Yeah, Mom, I'm holding a meeting
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,086 for all the people who loved "The Passion" as much as I did.
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,588 Oh, that's great, sweetie!
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,007 - Tell them I'll be down shortly. - Okay, hon.
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,719 <i>Toten sie die Juden!</i>
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,347 <i>Wir konnen nicht stillstehen, bis sie alle tot sind!</i>
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,765 Okay. I'm ready.
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,393 I am ready to do Thy bidding, Mel Gibson.
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,274 Hello. Are you folks holding this "Passion" meeting?
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067 No, actually, we're guests as well.
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,028 I'm Jack Garrett, and this is my wife, Elise.
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:11,862 Hello.
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,114 I think it's so great that somebody took the initiative
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,365 to have a meeting like this.
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,366 Oh, I agree.
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,327 There are so many of us who were moved by "The Passion."
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,120 It's a perfect idea to have us organize
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,080 so we can strengthen the Christian community.
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,291 And apparently the organizer is just an 8-year-old boy
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,542 who was touched by the film.
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,669 Leave it to a child to show us all the way, huh?
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,379 So I seen this ad on the Internet
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,839 saying if you loved "The Passion"
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,466 to come to this meeting, so here I am.
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343 It's great that everyone came here to figure out
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,553 how to use "The Passion" to enrich everyone's lives!
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,183 Uh, hello, everyone. <i>Achtung.</i>
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:43,685 My name is Eric Cartman,
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,771 and I am the president of the Mel Gibson Fan Club.
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,440 Oh, thank you. Thank you.
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,442 I'm happy to see all of you were affected by "The Passion"
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,443 like I was.
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,820 Now, we all know why we're here,
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,406 and I believe we all know what needs to be done.
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,908 We sure do!
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,620 But I think it's best we don't talk out loud about it
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,206 until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps.
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,959 W-What does that mean, sweetie?
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544 I'm not sure, but --
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,672 Folks, I just want to interrupt for a second
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,173 and say how remarkable it is
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,300 that this little boy brought us all together.
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,345 "The Passion" is causing a revolution of spirituality,
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,306 and we owe Mel Gibson and this little boy our thanks.
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,892 Thank you. Thank you very much.
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,187 Now, in order to do what we all know needs to be done,
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,980 we are first going to need more support.
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023 I think we should all go out
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,275 and take at least one other person to see "The Passion."
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,568 Oh, what a great idea!
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,278 We each make it our responsibility
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,905 to convert one more person!
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,573 - Great! - Great idea.
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784 Yes, and then we can begin the cleansing,
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,369 if you know what I mean.
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,412 We sure do!
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:44,663 - All right! - Whoo-hoo!
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,086 Thank you.
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,921 This must be the place.
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,552 God damn. Mel Gibson must be loaded!
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,768 Yes?
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,020 Oh, hi. Uh, my name is Stan, and this is Kenny.
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:09,938 Mrph.
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,149 Um, we saw your movie "The Passion," and we didn't like it.
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,984 So can we have our money back, please?
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,487 You can't not like "The Passion"!
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,865 I just followed the Bible! Christ died for you!
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,074 Go home.
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411 Look, dude. We came a long way.
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,246 We're not leaving until you give us our money.
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,290 Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna have to find it first.
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,125 But I won't tell you where I keep my money.
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,753 You can torture me all you want! I still won't tell you!
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,795 T-Torture you?
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,465 Ah! So you do intend to torture me, huh?
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,966 Well, go ahead!
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,301 Do your worst!
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,219 You still won't get your ticket money back!
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,430 I can take whatever you can dish out!
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,557 - We don't want to torture you. - I get it.
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,225 But you don't have a choice. Is that it?
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,268 Well, go ahead!
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,521 I just hope you don't use those whips over there on the wall!
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,982 Dude, can we please just have $18 back from you?
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942 I have to use that money to build my church.
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,236 I've brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,363 with "The Passion," and now I'm gonna start my own church.
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,408 And do you know why? So I can play banjo!
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,243 ♪ Jesus, oh, how I love ya ♪
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,287 ♪ How I love ya, Jesus ♪
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,206 Dude, this guy is freakin' daffy.
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,500 How dare you call me crazy?!
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,376 This means war!
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,380 - Aah! - Mm!
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,007 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,550 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,513 And so it was that God sent His only son down from heaven
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,515 to die for our sins.
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,434 Uh, okay, but did God send Jesus to die
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,853 or did Jesus just get kind of screwed over?
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,523 What is troubling you, my child?
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,149 Well, I have this friend, see,
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,277 and this friend belongs to a certain chosen people of Israel.
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,906 And it so happens that these chosen people killed your Lord.
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,866 Ah. You mean he's a Jew.
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,910 Right, but he can't live with the guilt anymore,
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,120 because even if Jesus wasn't really the son of God,
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:50,455 he was still a nice guy
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,707 and didn't deserve what happened to him in Mel Gibson's movie.
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,792 I can't sleep at night --
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,502 I mean my friend can't sleep at night!
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,546 Yes. "The Passion" is very powerful.
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,840 The truth is, there's not a whole lot in the Bible
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,049 about the crucifixion.
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,301 "The Passion" was actually done as a performance piece
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,846 back in the Middle Ages to incite people against Jews.
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,305 But how can the Jews make it better?
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349 Well, if you really care about your friend's soul,
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,393 then perhaps show him the way of Jesus.
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,479 Remember, Christianity is about atonement.
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,147 Wait. That's it.
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,524 Atonement! Of course!
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,402 I know what I have to do now. Thank you, Father!
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,029 - Aah! - Mm!
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,740 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,743 Two days ago, I saw a rig that could haul that tanker.
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329 You want to get out of here? You talk to me.
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,874 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,126 Mel Gibson is fucking crazy, dude!
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,086 Wait! There's his wallet!
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,005 Free-e-e-e-dom!
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,339 Aw, crap! He's only got twenties!
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,674 You got $2, Kenny?
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,551 Jesus is Lord!
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,386 All right! Let's get the hell out of here!
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222 ♪ A-boom chicka boom, chicka boom, hee-hee ♪
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,558 ♪ A-boom chicka boom, chicka boom, hee-hee ♪
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,311 ♪ When you're a clown ♪
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,522 ♪ Nobody takes you seriously ♪
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,775 Run, dude! Run!
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,154 Ka-plaaah! Ka-plaaah!
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:08,909 ♪ And good evening, a-friends-ah ♪
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,375 One month ago today, this amazing film opened in theaters.
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,628 And now we proud few gather here
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,713 as a people brought together by its message!
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,176 Fellow fans of Mel Gibson, our numbers have grown.
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,471 And now, together, we have the power to change the world.
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,141 Now I believe we should take to the streets
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,144 and march in unwavering support of this important movie.
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,562 Oh, great idea!
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,813 It'll be like a parade!
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,316 - Good idea! That's great! - Love it.
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,776 And as we march for "The Passion,"
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,152 we should also voice our support.
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,156 So when I say, <i>"Es ist zeit zu saubern,"</i>
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,616 you all chant back,
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,160 <i>"Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten"!</i>
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,287 What does that mean, dear?
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,290 Oh, I think it's Aramaic -- You know, like in the movie!
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084 Ooh! Aramaic! Cool!
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,586 - Neato! - That'll be awesome!
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,672 What was our Aramaic line again?
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,257 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,844 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,888 <i>Est is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,848 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,433 Oh, this is fun!
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,645 All right, everyone! Forward...march!
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,563 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,774 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,859 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,195 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,197 Nice.
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,829 Shalom, hacknak, shalom.
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,916 And now one of our fine young schlockers, Kyle Broflovski,
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,585 has asked if he could speak to the congregation.
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,878 Thank you, Rabbi.
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,382 In 1973,
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,384 the United States officially issued an apology
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,386 to the African-American community for slavery.
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,930 In 1956, Germany officially apologized
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,682 for World War II and the Holocaust.
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,393 And now I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,312 needs to apologize for the death of Jesus.
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,566 Wha-Wha-What?!
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,568 If we as a people choose not to believe
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,070 that Jesus is the son of God, then we can still apologize
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,905 for the brutal way in which he was killed
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,033 and take our share of the responsibility for it.
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,284 Oh, my God!
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,246 Kyle, what on earth has gotten into you?
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,414 I saw "The Passion"!
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,874 - Oh, no! - That movie again?
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:21,916 "The Passion"?
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,752 This proves the horrible anti-Semitic effect
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,836 that movie is having!
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,881 Yeah, it makes Jews into stereotypes.
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,842 Stereotyping Jews is terrible!
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887 Something must be done to stop that movie!
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,930 Now, now. Everyone, calm down.
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,807 We live in a rational community,
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,185 and everyone knows this is just a movie.
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,811 There's no cause for alarm.
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,314 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,816 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,735 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,446 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,159 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:03,416 Well, it looks like with these bus tickets, we spent about $87
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,001 getting our money back from Mel Gibson.
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,711 But I think it's the principle that matters.
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,796 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,801 Oh, you've got to be shitting me.
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,222 Give me back my money!
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,474 God damn, that guy is crazy.
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,685 - Hey, dude, you got to speed up. - Huh?
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854 Mel Gibson is chasing after us. You got to go faster.
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,857 Ha ha. Very funny, kid. Sit down and stop playing games.
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,984 Mel Gibson is right behind you, and he's gonna --
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,320 What the hell?
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,698 Ka-plaaah! Ka-plaaah!
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,242 Hey! That's Mel Gibson!
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,493 Yeah, I told you that!
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,994 Well, what the hell does he want?
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,788 He wouldn't give us our money back for "The Passion,"
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:42,914 so we kind of took it.
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,624 You didn't like "The Passion"?
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626 But it shows how Christ suffered for you.
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,711 Mel Gibson is a very spiritual man.
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,718 You guys, stop! Please!
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,262 You're gonna make people hate us more!
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,139 Can I help you?
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,558 This movie is causing!
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,393 You must remove it from your theater!
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,436 - That's right! - Remove "The Passion"!
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,231 Remove it from the theater? Fat chance!
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,066 We demand you stop showing it!
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,317 - Yeah! - Yeah!
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,902 No, no, no! Don't become an angry mob!
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,737 The last time we did that, we killed Jesus!
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:15,989 <i>Juden!</i>
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,115 What's going on here?
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,533 They're trying to have "The Passion"
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,826 pulled from the theater.
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,412 This film is anti-Semitic, and it must be stopped!
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,415 Nonsense! Mel Gibson is a smart, spiritual man.
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,292 There is nothing anti-Semitic about it.
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,170 It has reaffirmed all of our faith in Christ.
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,130 It's made one of our little Jewish boys
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716 want to apologize for the death of Jesus.
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,219 Well...maybe you <i>should</i> apologize.
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,013 - That's right! - Yeah!
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,432 How dare you?!
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,433 Look out!
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,771 Gaaaaaaagh!
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153 Raagh-raagh-raagh!
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,488 Give me my $18!
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,991 Mel Gibson!
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,702 Oh, <i>mein</i> savior! <i>Mein fuehrer!</i>
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,162 You're actually here!
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,080 Mr. Gibson, I have assembled the masses!
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624 We are ready to do Thy bidding!
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,375 Have I been a good boy, Mr. Gibson?
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,210 Agh!
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,504 So! You boys have led me here to your secret base, huh?
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,007 I guess now you're gonna start torturing me!
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,301 Agh! Oh, my nipples are so tender!
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,886 Don't squeeze them anymore!
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,805 That's...Mel Gibson?
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,892 H-He's not quite as eloquent as I had pictured.
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,102 Well...
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,855 I'll bet you want to torture me now, don't you?
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,941 Dude, what's wrong with him?
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,735 He's cuckoo, dude. He's absolutely out of his mind.
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,278 You!
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,530 You would all love to torture me, wouldn't you?
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,616 Okay. Fine. See what you can fit in there.
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,825 I can take it!
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,953 Dude, I've been freaked out this whole time
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,537 because of <i>that</i> guy's movie?
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,705 Fine!
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,958 If nobody here is man enough to torture me,
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,001 then just give me my $18.
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,504 It's <i>our</i> $18. Your movie sucked!
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,214 You can't say my movie sucked
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,633 or else you're saying Christianity sucks!
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,468 No, dude. If you want to be Christian, that's cool.
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,095 But you should follow what Jesus taught
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,388 instead of how he got killed.
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:04,514 Focusing on how he got killed
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,932 is what people did in the Dark Ages,
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767 and it ends up with really bad results.
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,105 You know, he's right, Elise.
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,564 We shouldn't focus our faith
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,608 on the torture and execution of Christ.
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,903 Yeah. Lots of people got crucified in those times.
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,698 We shouldn't rely on violence to inspire faith.
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,116 Aw -- Aw, no! Come on, people!
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,577 We're so close to completing my final solution!
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,746 Oh, dude, I feel so much better about being Jewish
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,291 now that I see that Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche.
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,503 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:34,295 СТРАСТИ ИУДЕЕВЫ
00:00:40,575 --> 00:00:43,585 Капитан Картман докладывает с борта челнока «Непосредственность»
00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:44,550 Приближаемся к планете Омега Девять.
00:00:44,585 --> 00:00:47,550 Гипердвигатели деактивированы. Режим посадки задействован.
00:00:47,585 --> 00:00:50,545 Какой тип атмосферы у поверхности планеты согласно приборов, еврей?
00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:51,510 Я вулканианец!
00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:54,520 Ладно, какой тип атмосферы согласно приборов, еврей-вулканианец?
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:57,555 Атмосфера преимущественно кислородная, должна быть пригодна для дыхания.
00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:02,520 Хорошо, держитесь покрепче. Мы приземляемся.
00:01:02,555 --> 00:01:05,565 Старший помощник Стэн и инженер Кенни, пойдете со мной в разведгруппе...
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,565 ...а еврей-вулканианец Кайл подождет здесь.
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,530 Нет! Я тоже в разведгруппе!
00:01:08,565 --> 00:01:10,530 Это мамина новая машина, поэтому я и капитан, Кайл!
00:01:10,565 --> 00:01:13,070 Да насрать мне! Опять ждать в машине ты меня не заставишь!
00:01:13,105 --> 00:01:15,540 Ладно, Кайл! Но я снимаю с себя всякую ответственность...
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:19,575 ...если вдруг при высадке на поверхность что-нибудь пойдет не так.
00:01:21,575 --> 00:01:23,550 Установить фазеры на шок.
00:01:23,585 --> 00:01:25,585 Кажется здесь вполне спокойно.
00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,550 Да. Даже слишком спокойно.
00:01:27,585 --> 00:01:29,550 Я засек в секторе "С" жизненные формы на основе углерода.
00:01:29,585 --> 00:01:33,545 Полагаю, что за тем пригорком мы найдем поселение мирных инопланетян.
00:01:33,580 --> 00:01:35,555 ОК, ладно, думаю, что нужно поискать…
00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:36,520 О, нет! Берегись!
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:40,555 Это гигантская четырехголовая лавовая жаба! Гаси ее!
00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:42,555 О, нет – она схватила Кайла!
00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:43,520 Нет, не схватила.
00:01:43,555 --> 00:01:45,565 Ой, схватила Кайла и отрывает ему голову!
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:46,565 Похоже, Кайлу кранты.
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,530 Нет, не кранты!
00:01:48,565 --> 00:01:50,530 Картман, в этот раз ты от меня не избавишься!
00:01:50,565 --> 00:01:54,565 Блин! Видите, почему нельзя брать евреев в разведгруппу: они не подыгрывают!
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,575 Не свисти насчет евреев, жиртрест! Ты не знаешь нифига!
00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:57,575 Боже, опять начинается.
00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:58,540 Да ну!
00:01:58,575 --> 00:02:02,575 Я видел фильм, "Страсти", и в фильме Мел Гибсон сказал, что Евреи – зло!
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:03,540 Не говорил!
00:02:03,575 --> 00:02:04,540 Откуда ты знаешь?!
00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:07,550 Я смотрел "Страсти" уже тридцать четыре раза, Кайл! Ты – ни разу!
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:11,065 Был даже такой момент, когда Евреи могли спасти Иисуса, но знаешь, что они сделали?
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:14,545 Они вместо этого освободили Варавву, серийного убийцу, Еще и смеялись над этим.
00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:15,510 Не-а!
00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:18,555 - Сходи на фильм, Кайл! Ну все, хватит! Мне уже тошнит от ваших споров из - за "Страстей"! Я сваливаю
00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:21,555 Я не спорю из-за "Страстей"! Просто он ведет себя, как жопа!
00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:23,520 Знаешь, в чем дело?
00:02:23,555 --> 00:02:25,520 Ты боишься. Ты боишься правды.
00:02:25,555 --> 00:02:29,565 Ты не хочешь, чтобы фильм показал тебе, насколько ужасны евреи, и почему вас все ненавидят.
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,530 Люди НЕ ненавидят евреев!
00:02:30,565 --> 00:02:33,565 Правда? Кассовые сборы в Штатах триста миллионов, Кайл.
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,575 Фильм-лидер всех времен по сборам, Кайл.
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,540 Цифры не лгут.
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:42,575 Если не боишься "Страстей", то сходи посмотри. Посмотри и скажи, что я не прав.
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:46,585 Мел Гибсон, Кайл. Мел Гибсон.
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:51,585 Ты ублюдок тупой!
00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:56,545 Здорово, теперь могу сам по себе играть.
00:02:56,580 --> 00:03:00,555 Скорее обратно на челнок!
00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,530 Один, пожалуйста.
00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:13,565 Это фильм категории «R».
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:14,530 Да, но я должен…
00:03:14,565 --> 00:03:20,575 Но поскольку это важнейший фильм, показывающий самоотверженный поступок Иисуса, я пропущу тебя.
00:03:22,575 --> 00:03:26,575 Спасибо.
00:04:16,545 --> 00:04:19,545 Как? Как могли Евреи так поступить с Иисусом?
00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:22,520 Довольно жестоко, да?
00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:25,555 Типа чуток заставляет тебя изменить свою жизнь, да?
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:27,572 А сейчас снова Терранс и Филлип.
00:04:27,607 --> 00:04:29,555 Слушай, Терранс, по-моему, у меня…
00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:30,520 Мам! В дверь звонят!
00:04:30,555 --> 00:04:34,565 Погоди, сначала потяни меня за палец.
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,082 Мам! Открой!
00:04:36,117 --> 00:04:37,530 Филлип: Что?
00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:41,575 Блин, шлюха ленивая.
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,540 Ты был прав.
00:04:45,575 --> 00:04:47,540 Ты все время был прав.
00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:51,585 Когда ты гнал на евреев, то я думал, что ты просто говнюк, но…я не знал...
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:55,550 ...я…я не знал.
00:04:55,585 --> 00:04:57,585 Да все в порядке, Кайл. Все хорошо. Только…
00:04:57,620 --> 00:05:00,545 ...повтори, что ты вначале сказал.
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,520 Ты, ты был прав?
00:05:03,555 --> 00:05:05,555 Ммм, еще разочек, Кайл.
00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:09,555 Ты был прав.
00:05:10,555 --> 00:05:12,555 Хочу воздать тебе за все блага, что ты мне дал.
00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:14,577 Сколько раз ты направлял путь мой ранее...
00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:16,530 ...а сейчас воплощаешь в явь все мои мечты.
00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:21,565 Ты даешь мне силу, когда я в сомнении, и я восхваляю тебя за все, что ты сотворил.
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,587 Лишь ты, Мел Гибсон, возымел мудрость и храбрость открыть миру правду.
00:05:25,622 --> 00:05:29,575 Отныне я покладу жизнь свою на дело того, чтоб фильм твой увидел каждый.
00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:32,575 Я сплочу массы, и так мы воплотим твой призыв.
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:36,585 Славься, Мел Гибсон. Аминь.
00:05:37,585 --> 00:05:41,545 Ты только посмотри. "Страсти" собрали в прокате уже почти 400 миллионов. Кенни: (Твою мать!)
00:05:42,545 --> 00:05:44,545 Каждый человек в нашей стране посмотрит этот фильм.
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:50,555 Думаю…мы тоже должны его посмотреть.
00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:12,540 Блин...
00:06:12,575 --> 00:06:13,575 Кино – отстой! Кенни:(Полная жопа!)
00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,585 Как это вообще можно назвать фильмом? Кенни: (Не знаю)
00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:22,065 Это же бред полный, пойдем заберем свои деньги. Кенни: (Точно!)
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:25,545 Ничего себе, а я не понимал, насколько ужасной была смерть Христа.
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,520 Я тоже.
00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:30,520 Дорогой, давай с этого момента будем хорошими христианами!
00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:34,555 Думаю, что если бы большинство людей посмотрело "Страсти", они бы уверовали в Христа.
00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:38,577 Да, фильм просто затягивает тебя в веру.
00:06:38,612 --> 00:06:42,530 Послушайте, мы хотим обратно наши деньги.
00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:44,530 Этот фильм – полная жопа. Отдайте наши 18 долларов.
00:06:44,565 --> 00:06:47,540 Я не могу вернуть вам деньги. Вы посмотрели весь фильм.
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,575 Это был не фильм, а какая-то хроника убийства. Кенни: (Точно!)
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,540 Нельзя грузить людей просмотром того, как два часа пытают какого-то парня.
00:06:52,575 --> 00:06:56,080 Так получилось, что этот парень – Иисус, и он прошел через все это, искупить ТВОИ ГРЕХИ!
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:59,585 Чтобы узнать всю эту байду, мы ходим в церковь! А в кино мы ходим, чтобы развлекаться!
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,550 Мы не развлеклись, поэтому и хотим наши деньги обратно!
00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:04,545 Я не могу отдать деньги после того, как вы просидели весь сеанс!
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,545 Предъявляйте претензии создателям фильма.
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,520 - чего? Мелу Гибсону?
00:07:08,555 --> 00:07:10,555 Говорите, мы должны забрать наши деньги у Мела Гибсона?
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,555 Ага. Удачи. А я на это посмотрю.
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:13,520 И заберем!
00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,555 Это Америка! А в Америке, если что-то является отстоем, то имеешь право вернуть свои деньги!
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:20,565 Идем, Кенни!
00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:31,575 Убить! Виновен! Убить!
00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:36,575 Убить его! Убить! Сдохни!
00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:40,585 Убить Иисуса! Даааа!
00:07:55,555 --> 00:07:59,520 ОК, ищем Мела Гибсона.
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:02,565 Мел Гибсон – биография, Мел Гибсон – новости, Мел Гибсон – домашняя страница. Вот так.
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,565 Добро пожаловать к Мелу Гибсону на ThePassion. com
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,530 ...ваш источник информации о Меле
00:08:05,565 --> 00:08:07,530 Фотки, философия, творческие планы. Твою мать, телефона нет!
00:08:07,565 --> 00:08:11,575 О, погоди! Если нужна дополнительная информация о Гибсоне, звонить вебмастеру 1-800-43…
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:15,592 Ладно, ладно, погоди, звоним.
00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:19,575 ТЕЛЕФОН ФАНКЛУБА МЕЛА ГИБСОНА
00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:22,550 Фан-клуб фильма Мела Гибсона "Страсти"
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,085 Привет, э, мы с другом только что ходили на "Страсти".
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,585 Ага, значит вы хотите вступить в Фан-клуб прямо сейчас.
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,510 Наше первое собрание завтра в 17.30.
00:08:27,545 --> 00:08:30,545 Нет, нет. Мы хотим получить обратно свои деньги.
00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:31,520 Чего?
00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:33,555 Мы считаем, что фильм – отстой, и мы хотим, чтобы Мел Гибсон вернул наши 18 долларов.
00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:35,072 Не знаете, как с ним связаться?
00:08:35,107 --> 00:08:36,520 Считаете, что фильм – отстой?
00:08:36,555 --> 00:08:38,520 Сэр, очевидно, вы не понимаете, чего добивался Мел Гибсон!
00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:42,565 Посредством фильма он пытался выразить мерзость и низость типичного еврея.
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,530 Он раскрыл глаза людям по всему миру.
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,565 Слушай, парень, мы просто считаем, что фильм отвратный, поэтому скажи, как связаться с Мелом Гибсоном
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,530 ...чтобы забрать бабки!
00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:49,530 Если бы я знал, где сейчас Мел Гибсон,
00:08:49,565 --> 00:08:52,070 я бы сейчас ползал по полу и лизал его яйца, сэр.
00:08:52,105 --> 00:08:54,540 Все что мне известно - он живет где-то в Малибу.
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,575 И хватит переводить понапрасну мое с Мелом Гибсоном время, писюн мелкий.
00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:59,540 Эй, выбирай выражения, парень! А то пендалей навешаю!
00:08:59,575 --> 00:09:02,585 Во как?! Хотелось бы на это глянуть, говнюк! Я два метра ростом!
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:04,550 Да мне насрать! По мне, так ты тявкаешь, как мелкая сучка!
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,585 Сучка?! Не зови меня сучкой! Я тебе башку твою гребаную разнесу!
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:08,510 Дааа? Может, докажешь, ссыкунишка?!
00:09:08,545 --> 00:09:13,555 Уже доказал, сука! Положил на стол и раздолбал, сука!
00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:17,555 Минуточку. Картман? - Опаньки...
00:09:19,555 --> 00:09:21,555 Ладно, Кенни. Едем в Малибу! Кенни:(В Малибу? А как?)
00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:25,530 На автобусе! Слушай, вопрос не в 18 долларах за билет.
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:30,070 Вопрос в возможности привлечь плохих киношников к ответственности!
00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:34,575 Это как тогда, когда мы вернули свои деньги за фильм "БЕЙСкетбол"!
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:42,480 Эрик, солнышко, у нас на заднем дворе народ собирается. Говорят что-то о собрании.
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:46,485 Да, мам. Я собираю на митинг всех, кто полюбил "Страсти" так же сильно, как и я.
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,450 Это же здорово, пупсик.
00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:52,410 - Объяви им, что я скоро спущусь. - Ладно, сладенький
00:09:52,445 --> 00:09:57,455 (нем)Toten sie die Juden. Wir konnen nicht stillstehen bis sie alle tot sind!
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:59,420 ОК, я готов.
00:09:59,455 --> 00:10:05,420 Я готов к приказам твоим, Мел Гибсон.
00:10:05,455 --> 00:10:07,465 Ребят, это вы организовали собрание, посвященное "Страстям"?
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,430 Нет. Вообще-то мы тоже здесь гости.
00:10:09,465 --> 00:10:12,430 - Я Джек Гаррет, а это – моя жена Элис. - Привет.
00:10:12,465 --> 00:10:15,465 Думаю, это здорово, что кто-то взял на себя инициативу и организовал такое собрание.
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:18,440 Согласна. Нас, людей, которых затронули "Страсти", так много.
00:10:18,475 --> 00:10:21,975 И мысль организовать нас для укрепления христианского сообщества просто великолепна.
00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:25,475 И очевидно, что организатор – восьмилетний мальчик, которого так впечатлил фильм.
00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,450 Давайте во всем доверимся ребенку.
00:10:27,485 --> 00:10:32,970 Да, и я видел рекламу в Интернете, что кто любит "Страсти", пусть приходит на собрание, вот я и здесь!
00:10:33,005 --> 00:10:38,455 И просто здорово, что все собрались, чтобы решить, как использовать "Страсти" для улучшения жизни каждого.
00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:42,420 Всем привет. Ахтунг!
00:10:42,455 --> 00:10:47,465 Меня зовут Эрик Картман и я президент Фан-клуба Мела Гибсона.
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,430 Спасибо, спасибо.
00:10:48,465 --> 00:10:52,465 Рад видеть, что на всех вас "Страсти" произвели такое же впечатление, как и на меня.
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:57,475 И все мы знаем, для чего здесь собрались и знаем, что нужно сделать.
00:10:57,510 --> 00:10:59,440 Конечно, знаем.
00:10:59,475 --> 00:11:02,440 Но, думаю, пока не стоит особо распространяться на этот счет...
00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:06,475 ...пока большинство из них не будут трястись в вагонах по направлению к лагерям.
00:11:06,510 --> 00:11:08,497 Что это значит, дорогой?
00:11:08,532 --> 00:11:10,450 Я не совсем понял, но…
00:11:10,485 --> 00:11:15,970 Друзья, я хочу прервать на секундочку и сказать, как замечательно, что этот мальчонка собрал нас вместе.
00:11:16,005 --> 00:11:21,455 "Страсти" вызовут революцию в духовности, и мы должны за это поблагодарить Мела Гибсона и этого мальчика.
00:11:22,455 --> 00:11:24,420 Спасибо, большое спасибо.
00:11:24,455 --> 00:11:27,455 Теперь, для начала, в порядке выполнения того, что «вы сами знаете, что должно быть сделано»,
00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:29,430 нам потребуется дополнительная поддержка.
00:11:29,465 --> 00:11:33,465 Полагаю, что мы должны пойти и взять хотя-бы по одному человеку на просмотр "Страстей".
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:37,465 Отличная идея! Каждый должен взять на себя ответственность по обращению еще одного!
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:38,430 Это здорово! Точно! Отличная мысль!
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:42,475 Да, а затем приступим к искуплению, если вы понимаете, о чем я.
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:46,475 Еще бы!
00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:51,450 Спасибо.
00:11:51,485 --> 00:11:55,485 Похоже, этот дом.
00:11:56,445 --> 00:12:02,455 Блин, похоже, у Мела Гибсона бабла навалом.
00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:07,420 Да?
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:09,455 О, здрасте. Меня зовут Стэн, а это Кенни Кенни: (Здравствуйте)
00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:15,465 Мы видели ваш фильм, "Страсти". И нам он не понравился, так что можете вернуть наши деньги?
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,430 Вам не могли не понравиться "Страсти"!
00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:20,465 Я во всем следовал Библии! Христос умер за вас.
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,440 Идите домой.
00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:26,475 Слушай, мы, блин, проделали долгий путь. Пока не отдашь деньги, мы не уйдем.
00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:28,475 Ах так? Тогда сперва придется их поискать.
00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,440 Но я вам не скажу, где храню деньги.
00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:32,485 Можете меня пытать по-всякому, но я все равно не признаюсь!
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,450 Пы.. Пытать?
00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:36,965 Значит, вы все-таки НАСТАИВАЕТЕ на пытках, да?
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,410 Ну что ж, вперед! Не смущайтесь в методах!
00:12:39,445 --> 00:12:43,455 Вам ДО СИХ ПОР не вернули денег!? Я выдержу все, что вы для меня задумали!
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:45,420 Мы не хотим вас пытать.
00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:47,420 Я это понял, но, похоже, у вас нет выбора, правда?!
00:12:47,455 --> 00:12:51,455 Давайте-давайте! Искренне надеюсь, что вам не понадобятся вон те плетки со стены!
00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:54,465 Чувак, может просто отдашь нам 18 долларов?
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,430 Мне эти деньги нужны на церковь!
00:12:56,465 --> 00:12:58,465 Я вернул огонь и серу в Христианство, создав "Страсти"
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,465 ...а теперь хочу создать свою собственную церковь!
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:01,430 А знаете зачем?
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:03,440 Могу сыграть на банджо!
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:07,475 Иисус, как я люблю тебя, как я люблю тебя, Иисус!
00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:09,440 Твою мать. У чувака явно башню снесло!
00:13:09,475 --> 00:13:15,485 Да как ты смеешь называть меня сумасшедшим! Ну все, это война!
00:13:21,445 --> 00:13:27,420 И Бог послал с небес своего единственного сына умирать за наши грехи.
00:13:27,455 --> 00:13:32,455 Ладно, тогда такой вопрос – Бог послал сына на смерть, или Иисус получил какое-то наказание.
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,430 Что тревожит тебя, дитя мое?
00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:36,430 У меня есть один друг, понимаете?
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:39,430 И этот друг принадлежит к избранному народу Израиля.
00:13:39,465 --> 00:13:43,465 И…так получилось, что избранный народ убил вашего Господа.
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,440 А! Ты хочешь сказать, он Иудей!
00:13:45,475 --> 00:13:47,440 Верно. Но он больше не может жить с этим чувством вины.
00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:50,475 Потому, что если Иисус даже и не был Сыном Божьим, то он был просто хорошим парнем.
00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:52,475 И он не заслужил того, что с ним было в фильме Мела Гибсона.
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:54,450 Я не могу спать ночью.
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,450 В смысле, мой…друг не может спать.
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,450 Да, Страсти Господни производят сильное влияние.
00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:01,410 На самом деле в Библии не так уж и много говорится о самом Распятии.
00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:06,455 А Страсти Господни были созданы в средние века, как действо, настраивающее людей против Иудеев.
00:14:06,490 --> 00:14:07,420 Но как евреям все исправить?
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,455 Что ж, если ты и вправду переживаешь о душе друга, то, пожалуй, попробуй указать ему путь Иисуса.
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:14,455 Помни: христианство – значит примирение.
00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:16,430 Постойте. То, что нужно.
00:14:16,465 --> 00:14:22,465 Примирение. Ну конечно же. Теперь я знаю, что делать. Спасибо, святой отец.
00:14:26,475 --> 00:14:29,475 Два дня назад я видел машину, которая сможет потянуть цистерну.
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:34,475 Хотите свалить отсюда – обращайтесь.
00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,497 Мел Гибсон рехнулся нах... й!
00:14:36,532 --> 00:14:38,485 Погоди! Вот его бумажник!
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,450 Свобода!
00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:43,445 Блин, у него одни двадцатки! Кенни, есть два доллара?
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,410 Иисус наш Господь!
00:14:44,445 --> 00:14:48,455 Ладно, пора валить отсюда нафиг!
00:14:52,455 --> 00:14:58,465 Если ты клоун, никто тебя всерьез не воспринимает!
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,465 Бежим, бежим!
00:15:04,465 --> 00:15:08,475 …и добрый вечер, друзья!
00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:17,450 месяц назад этот удивительный фильм вышел на экраны.
00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:23,450 А сейчас мы с гордостью собрались здесь, сплоченные его идеей!
00:15:23,485 --> 00:15:29,455 Друзья-фанаты Мела Гибсона! Наши ряды умножились, и теперь у нас хватит сил изменить мир!
00:15:31,455 --> 00:15:36,455 Теперь мы должны выйти на улицы и пройти маршем в знак поддержки этого важного фильма!
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:37,420 Отличная мысль!
00:15:37,455 --> 00:15:39,465 Это будет все равно, что парад!
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,430 Классно придумано!
00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:44,465 Так как мы будем идти маршем за "Страсти", то мы должны озвучить нашу поддержку!
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:48,430 Когда я скажу «Es ist Zeit fur Sauberung»(нем)
00:15:48,465 --> 00:15:53,475 вы должны ответить «Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten»(нем)
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,440 А что это значит, дорогой?
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:57,475 Кажется, это по-арамейски. Ну, знаете, как в фильме.
00:15:57,510 --> 00:16:01,485 О, арамейский! Круто.
00:16:02,485 --> 00:16:04,485 Можно еще разок эту реплику по-арамейски?
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:10,445 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,420 Es ist Zeit fur Rache!
00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:14,455 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:16,420 Ух-ты, как здорово!
00:16:16,455 --> 00:16:18,455 Внимание, все! Шагом марш!
00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:20,420 Es ist Zeit fur Rache!
00:16:20,455 --> 00:16:23,465 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,430 Es ist Zeit fur Rache!
00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:27,465 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:31,475 Отличненько.
00:16:33,675 --> 00:16:36,640 Шалом хак нак шалом.
00:16:36,675 --> 00:16:40,675 А сейчас один из наших добродетельных юных прихожан, Кайл Брофловски
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,685 просит разрешения обратиться к собранию.
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,650 Спасибо, ребе.
00:16:46,685 --> 00:16:51,645 В 1973 Соединенные Штаты официально извинились перед Афро-Американским сообществом за рабство.
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:56,620 В 1956 Германия официально извинилась за Вторую Мировую и за Холокост.
00:16:56,655 --> 00:17:02,655 А в 2004-м, я полагаю, что еврейское сообщество должно извиниться за смерть Иисуса.
00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:03,630 Что?
00:17:03,665 --> 00:17:05,630 Чего-чегоо?!
00:17:05,665 --> 00:17:08,665 Если мы, как народ решили не верить в то, что Иисус – сын Божий
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,665 то мы можем просто извиниться за то, как зверски он был убит
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,675 и взять на себя часть ответственности за это.
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:16,640 Боже мой!
00:17:16,675 --> 00:17:18,675 Кайл, да что это ты себе в голову вбил?
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,692 Я посмотрел "Страсти".
00:17:20,727 --> 00:17:22,640 ОО, нет! Страсти?!
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,685 Это доказывает антисемитское влияние фильма!
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,682 Да, он делает из евреев стереотип.
00:17:28,717 --> 00:17:31,610 Еврейские стереотипы – это ужасно.
00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:34,645 Нужно что-то предпринять, чтобы остановить этот фильм!
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,620 Так, так, успокойтесь.
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:40,655 Мы живем в разумном обществе и все знают, что это всего-навсего фильм.
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,620 Нет причин бить тревогу.
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:45,665 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,630 Es ist Zeit fur Rache!
00:17:47,665 --> 00:17:49,665 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,630 Es ist Zeit fur Rache!
00:17:51,665 --> 00:17:54,665 Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!
00:17:54,700 --> 00:18:00,640 Es ist Zeit fur Rache!
00:18:00,675 --> 00:18:05,685 Если считать билеты, то мы потратили 87 долларов, чтобы забрать свои деньги у Мела Гибсона.
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,685 Но, я думаю, что это дело принципа. Кенни: (Точно)
00:18:11,685 --> 00:18:15,645 Глазам своим, бл…дь, не верю!
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,620 Отдайте деньги!
00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:20,655 Твою же ж мать! Он с катушек съехал!
00:18:20,690 --> 00:18:23,620 (Водителю) Чувак, а побыстрее можно?
00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:25,655 За нами гонится Мел Гибсон. Нужно поднажать.
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,620 Ха-ха. Очень смешно.
00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:28,630 Сядь, где сидел - здесь не место для игр.
00:18:28,665 --> 00:18:31,665 Я не играю. Мел Гибсон едет прямо за нами, и он...
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:35,665 Что за черт?
00:18:36,665 --> 00:18:39,675 - Эй, это же Мел Гибсон! - Ага, а я тебе о чем толкую!
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:40,640 Какого хрена ему нужно?
00:18:40,675 --> 00:18:43,675 Он не отдавал наши деньги за "Страсти", и мы типа забрали их сами.
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,640 Вам не понравились "Страсти"?
00:18:45,675 --> 00:18:49,660 Но они показывают, как Иисус страдал за вас.
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:53,645 Мел Гибсон очень высокодуховный человек.
00:18:54,645 --> 00:18:58,655 Ну хватит вам! Пожалуйста. Из-за этого люди возненавидят нас еще больше.
00:18:58,690 --> 00:18:59,620 Вы что-то хотели?
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:03,655 Этот фильм провоцирует анти-семитизм! Вы должны снять его с проката!
00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:06,177 Да, правильно! Уберите ваш фильм!
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:08,438 Снять с проката? Не дождетесь!
00:19:08,473 --> 00:19:10,665 Мы требуем прекратить его показ!
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:11,630 Да! Да!
00:19:11,665 --> 00:19:13,665 Нет-нет-нет! Не стоит превращаться в разгневанную толпу!
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,665 В последний раз, когда мы это делали, мы убили Иисуса!
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,630 Юден!
00:19:16,665 --> 00:19:18,640 Что здесь происходит?
00:19:18,675 --> 00:19:20,640 Они хотят снять "Страсти" с проката
00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:23,175 Фильм антисемитский, и нужно его остановить!
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:25,675 Чепуха! Мел Гибсон умный и духовный человек!
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:28,197 Ничего в нем антисемитского нет!
00:19:28,232 --> 00:19:30,650 Он возродил нашу веру в Христа.
00:19:30,685 --> 00:19:35,645 Из-за него один из наших еврейских мальчиков хочет извиниться за смерть Христа!
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,645 Что ж, а может, стоило бы извиниться?
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,655 Правильно! Так и нужно!
00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:43,655 Да как вы смеете?!
00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:47,655 Берегись!
00:19:55,665 --> 00:19:58,665 Верните мои восемнадцать долларов!
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:01,640 Мел! Гибсон!
00:20:01,675 --> 00:20:03,675 О, майн спаситель! Майн фюрер!
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,640 Ты и вправду здесь!
00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:08,675 Мел Гибсон, я поднял массы! Мы готовы к твоим приказам!
00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:10,650 Я ведь был хорошим мальчиком, мистер Гибсон?!
00:20:10,685 --> 00:20:14,685 Ххха! Ну что ж, детишки, вы привели меня на вашу секретную базу, да?
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,610 Думаю, сейчас вы начнете меня пытать!
00:20:17,645 --> 00:20:21,645 Ой, мои соски такие чувствительные! Больше не сжимайте их!
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,620 Это…Мел Гибсон?
00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:28,620 Он.. не так убедителен, как в кино.
00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:31,655 Даа…Думаю теперь-то вы хотите меня пытать?
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,630 Блин, а что с ним?
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,630 Он спятил, чувак. Абсолютно сошел с ума.
00:20:36,665 --> 00:20:39,630 Вы! Вы бы меня с радостью стали пытать, правда?
00:20:39,665 --> 00:20:43,640 Ну и хорошо. Посмотрим, что вы сюда сунете. Я все выдержу!
00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:47,640 Твою мать! Я тут себе места не нахожу из-за фильма, снятого ЭТИМ типом?
00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:52,685 Ладно! Если здесь нет настоящих мужиков, чтобы пытать меня, то просто отдайте 18 долларов!
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,685 Это наши восемнадцать долларов! Ваш фильм – отстой!
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,650 Не называй мой фильм отстоем
00:20:56,685 --> 00:20:58,645 а то иначе говоря получается, что все Христианство – отстой!
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,610 Нет, чувак!
00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:02,645 Если хочешь быть христианином – это круто, но стоило показать то, чему учил Иисус
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,620 ...а не то, как его убили.
00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:10,655 Заострять внимание на том, как он был убит это как раз то, что делали в средние века, что и привело к плачевным итогам.
00:21:10,690 --> 00:21:12,620 Знаешь, а он прав, Элис.
00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:16,665 Не нужно заострять нашу веру на пытках и казни Христа.
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,630 Да. В разные времена распяли множество людей.
00:21:19,665 --> 00:21:22,665 Не стоит основывать наше религиозное вдохновение на насилии.
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,640 О, нет. Да ладно, народ!
00:21:24,675 --> 00:21:27,640 Мы ведь почти уже решили еврейский вопрос!
00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:31,680 Знаешь,теперь я уже не особо переживаю из-за того, что я еврей,
00:21:31,715 --> 00:21:35,685 ...потому, как вижу, что Мел Гибсон - просто шизанутый мудозвон.
00:21:39,895 --> 00:21:47,895 перевод mulder ( mulder@hotbox. ru )

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,620 [ Squeaking ]
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,332 - Zhhhh! - Rrrrr!
00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,752 Captain Cartman reporting from shuttlecraft <i>Spontaneity,</i>
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,336 approaching planet Omega Nine.
00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,589 Warp drive disengaged. Landing sequence initiated.
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,049 What kind of atmosphere are you reading
00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,467 on the planet's surface, Jew?
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,886 - I'm a Vulcan! - All right.
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,346 What kind of atmosphere are you reading, Vulcan-Jew?
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:57,349 The atmosphere is oxygen-based. Should support our breathing.
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018 All right. Hang on. We're about to land.
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,729 - Rrr! Br-br-br-br-br-br! - Zhhhh!
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:02,563 Okay.
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,023 First Officer Stan and Engineer Kenny,
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,274 come with me on the away team.
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,609 Vulcan-Jew Kyle will wait here.
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,027 No! I'm on the away team, too!
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,654 It's <i>my</i> mom's new minivan, so I'm the captain, Kyle!
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740 I don't care! You're not making me wait in the van again!
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:13,657 Fine, Kyle!
00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,701 But if something goes wrong on the planet's surface,
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,536 don't hold me responsible.
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,290 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,209 Set phasers on stun.
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,794 Things seem pretty quiet.
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,712 Yes. A little too quiet.
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,423 I am picking up carbon-based life-forms in Sector C.
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,508 I believe we will find
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,551 a village of peaceful aliens over that ridge.
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,720 Ugh. Okay. Fine. I guess we'll go look --
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:35,888 Oh, no! Look out!
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681 It's a giant four-headed lava frog!
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,682 Shoot it!
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,309 - Byew-byew! Byew-byew! - Byoo!
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,936 Oh, no! It's got Kyle!
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,145 No, it doesn't.
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,980 Oh, it's got Kyle, and it's tearing his head off!
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,649 Oh, you guys, looks like Kyle is done for.
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,650 No, I'm not!
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,027 God damn it, Cartman, you are not gonna kill me off again!
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,153 Ugh. You see, guys?
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,364 This is why you don't bring Jews along on the away team.
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:54,323 They don't play along.
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,408 Shut up about Jews, fat-ass! You don't know anything!
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:57,576 Oh, God. Here we go again.
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,829 Oh, yeah? I saw Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion."
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,248 And Mel Gibson says in the movie Jews are the devil!
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,874 - He does not! - How do you know?!
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,960 I've seen "The Passion" 34 times now, Kyle.
00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,294 You haven't seen it once!
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,547 There's one part where the Jews have a chance to save Jesus,
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:10,548 and you know what they do?
00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,008 They let Barabbas, a serial killer, go free instead
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,093 and <i>laugh</i> about it!
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,011 - Nuh-unh! - Go see the movie, Kyle!
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,888 I'm sick of you guys arguing about "The Passion."
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,014 - I'm out of here. - Mrph rm.
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,516 I'm not arguing about "The Passion"!
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,684 He's being an asshole!
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,894 You know what it is? You're scared.
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,146 You're scared of the truth.
00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,772 You don't want that movie to show you
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,275 just how bad the Jews are and why everyone hates you.
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,110 - People don't hate the Jews! - Really?
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,279 $300 million domestic box office, Kyle.
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:36,198 The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle.
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,867 Those numbers don't lie.
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,452 If you're not scared of "The Passion," then go see it.
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,246 Go see it and tell me I'm wrong.
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,081 Mel Gibson, Kyle.
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,000 Mel Gibson.
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:48,919 You're a stupid asshole.
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,634 Sweet. Now I can just play with myself.
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,179 Pew-pew-pew! Get back in the shuttlecraft!
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,357 One, please.
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,194 This is an R-rated movie.
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,320 Yeah, I know. But I have to --
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,614 But because this is such an important film
00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:19,491 that accurately depicts the selfless acts of Jesus Christ,
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,327 I'll let you in to see it.
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,120 Thanks.
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,459 [ Suspenseful music plays ]
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,716 [ Men speaking Aramaic ]
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,390 [ Man screaming, whip cracking ]
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,313 [ Whipping, screaming continue ]
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,487 Aah!
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,490 [ Man screaming, whip cracking ]
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,872 [ Music continues ]
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,006 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,049 How?
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,510 How could the Jews do that to Jesus?
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,804 Pretty brutal, isn't it?
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,307 Kind of makes you want to change your life, huh?
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,393 MAN: And now back to "Terrance & Phillip."
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,144 - [ Doorbell rings ] - PHILLIP: Hey, Terrance!
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,479 Mom! Doorbell!
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,274 TERRANCE: Wait. Before you do, pull my thumb.
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,401 - [ Doorbell rings ] - Mom, answer the door!
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,236 [ Laughter on television, doorbell rings ]
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,988 God damn it. Lazy-ass whore.
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,407 TERRANCE: Fart. [ Farts ]
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909 [ Thunder rumbles ]
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,870 You were right. You were right all along.
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,998 I thought you were just an asshole when you ripped on Jews,
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541 but...I didn't know.
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,168 I-I didn't know.
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,588 It's okay, Kyle. It's okay.
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,466 Just...say that first part again.
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,469 You -- You were right?
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972 Mm. One more time, Kyle.
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,974 You were right.
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,479 I want to thank You for all the blessings You have brought me.
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,773 You have shown me the way so many times in the past,
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900 and now You are making all my dreams come true.
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,736 You give me strength where there is doubt,
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,446 and I praise You for all You have done.
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,532 Only You, Mel Gibson, have had the wisdom and the courage
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,992 to show the world the truth.
00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,994 From this day forward, I will dedicate my life
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,246 to making sure Your film is seen by everyone.
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,041 I will organize the masses so that we may do Thy bidding.
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,960 Hail Mel Gibson. Amen.
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,130 Look at that, dude.
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,299 "The Passion" has made almost $400 million
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,009 - at the box office now. - Mrph rm.
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,927 Everyone in the country is going to see that movie.
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,472 I guess we have to go see it, too.
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,810 [ Man screaming, whip cracking ]
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:58,067 [ Man groans ]
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,652 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955 Dude.
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,665 That movie sucked!
00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,167 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,794 How do they even call that a movie?
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:17,878 Mrph rm!
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,880 That's bullcrap, dude. Let's go get our money back.
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,840 Mrph!
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,177 Wow. I didn't realize how horrible Christ's death was.
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,387 Me neither.
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,723 Oh, honey, let's be good Christians from now on.
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,768 I think if more people saw "The Passion,"
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,144 they'd have faith in Jesus.
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,523 Yeah. It really guilt-trips you into believing.
00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:42,361 - Hey, we want our money back. - Huh?
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,488 That movie sucked ass. Give us back our $18.
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,074 I can't refund your money. You sat through the whole movie.
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,075 That wasn't a movie.
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,618 - That was a snuff film. - Mrph!
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,329 You can't charge to watch a guy get tortured for two hours.
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,164 That <i>guy</i> happens to be Jesus.
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917 And he went through all that to pay for your sins!
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,127 We go to church to learn that stuff.
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,420 We go to movies to be entertained.
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,130 We weren't entertained, and we want our money back!
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,714 I'm not allowed to give your money back
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,299 after you sat through the whole movie!
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,801 You'd have to take your complaint up
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,428 with the film's producers.
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,305 What, Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson?
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,141 Yeah. I'd like to see you try.
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,142 Oh, we will.
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,810 This is America, and in America, if something sucks,
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437 you're supposed to be able to get your money back!
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272 Come on, Kenny!
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,357 [ Moaning ]
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,484 [ Harp plays ]
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,570 [ Thunder crashing ]
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531 - [ Hissing ] - Kill him!
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,074 - Kill Jesus! - Kill him!
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,492 Kill that guy!
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,037 [ Screaming ]
00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,748 - Kill him! - Watch him die!
00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,750 Kill Jesus! Eeeeeh!
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,586 [ Hisses, growls ]
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,547 [ Thunder crashing ]
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,925 [ Laughing ]
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,890 [ Screams ]
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,851 [ Birds chirping ]
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,562 Okay. Search for "Mel Gibson."
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,481 Mel Gibson bio. Mel Gibson news.
00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,940 Mel Gibson home page. Here we go.
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,859 "Welcome to melgibsonsthepassion.com --
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,235 your source for everything Mel.
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,653 Pictures, philosophy, upcoming projects."
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,946 Damn it. No phone number. Oh, wait.
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,198 "For more information on Mel Gibson,
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,949 call the webmaster at 1-800-43..."
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:11,950 Okay. Wait. Here we go.
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,203 [ Telephone beeping ]
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,789 [ Telephone rings ]
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,877 Mel Gibson's "The Passion" Fan Club.
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,004 Hi. My friend and I just went to see "The Passion."
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,797 And so you want to join the fan club now.
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,841 Our first meeting is tomorrow at 5:30 p.m.
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,219 No, no, no. No. We want our money back.
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,012 - What? - We think the movie sucked,
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,932 and we want Mel Gibson to give us back our $18.
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:35,933 You thought it sucked?
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,476 Sir, apparently you don't understand
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,894 what Mel Gibson was trying to do.
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,479 He was trying to express, through cinema,
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,439 the horror and filthiness of the common Jew.
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,483 It has made people the world over open their eyes.
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,276 Look, we just thought it was a bad movie.
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,487 So tell us how to get in touch with Mel Gibson.
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,405 If I knew where Mel Gibson was, I'd be down on the floor
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,324 licking his balls at this very moment, sir.
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,284 All I know is he lives somewhere in Malibu.
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,078 Now stop wasting me and Mel Gibson's time,
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,412 you little wussy prick.
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,623 Don't take that tone with me. I'll kick your ass.
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,583 Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you try, asshole!
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,876 I'm like 6 feet tall!
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,795 I don't care. You sound like a little bitch to me!
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172 Bitch, don't call me bitch! I'll pop your fucking head open!
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,549 You want to bring it, you little pussy?
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,800 I already brought it, bitch!
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,177 I brought it, set it down on the table, and opened it, bitch!
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,846 Wait a minute. Cartman?
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,599 Ooh.
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,061 Come on, Kenny. We're going to Malibu.
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,105 - Mrph? Mrph rm? - We'll take the bus!
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,399 Look, this isn't about the $18 ticket money anymore.
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,776 This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible.
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,821 This is like when we got our money back for "BASEketball."
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,368 [ Humming ]
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,664 Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch of people showing up
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,833 in our backyard saying something about a meeting.
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,084 Yeah, Mom, I'm holding a meeting
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,086 for all the people who loved "The Passion" as much as I did.
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,588 Oh, that's great, sweetie!
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,007 - Tell them I'll be down shortly. - Okay, hon.
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,009 [ Crop snaps ]
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,719 <i>Toten sie die Juden!</i>
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,347 <i>Wir konnen nicht stillstehen, bis sie alle tot sind!</i>
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,765 Okay. I'm ready.
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,393 I am ready to do Thy bidding, Mel Gibson.
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,272 [ Birds chirping ]
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,274 Hello. Are you folks holding this "Passion" meeting?
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067 No, actually, we're guests as well.
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,028 I'm Jack Garrett, and this is my wife, Elise.
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:11,862 Hello.
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,114 I think it's so great that somebody took the initiative
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,365 to have a meeting like this.
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,366 Oh, I agree.
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,327 There are so many of us who were moved by "The Passion."
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,120 It's a perfect idea to have us organize
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,080 so we can strengthen the Christian community.
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,291 And apparently the organizer is just an 8-year-old boy
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,542 who was touched by the film.
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,669 Leave it to a child to show us all the way, huh?
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,379 So I seen this ad on the Internet
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,839 saying if you loved "The Passion"
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,466 to come to this meeting, so here I am.
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343 It's great that everyone came here to figure out
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,553 how to use "The Passion" to enrich everyone's lives!
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,305 [ Indistinct conversations ]
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,183 Uh, hello, everyone. <i>Achtung.</i>
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:43,685 My name is Eric Cartman,
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,771 and I am the president of the Mel Gibson Fan Club.
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,439 [Applause ]
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,440 Oh, thank you. Thank you.
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,442 I'm happy to see all of you were affected by "The Passion"
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,443 like I was.
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,820 Now, we all know why we're here,
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,406 and I believe we all know what needs to be done.
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,908 We sure do!
00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,242 [ Cheers and applause ]
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,620 But I think it's best we don't talk out loud about it
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,206 until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps.
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,166 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,959 W-What does that mean, sweetie?
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544 I'm not sure, but --
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,672 Folks, I just want to interrupt for a second
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,173 and say how remarkable it is
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,300 that this little boy brought us all together.
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,345 "The Passion" is causing a revolution of spirituality,
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,306 and we owe Mel Gibson and this little boy our thanks.
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,892 - [ Cheers and applause ] - Thank you. Thank you very much.
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,187 Now, in order to do what we all know needs to be done,
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,980 we are first going to need more support.
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023 I think we should all go out
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,275 and take at least one other person to see "The Passion."
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,568 Oh, what a great idea!
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,278 We each make it our responsibility
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,905 to convert one more person!
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,573 - Great! - Great idea.
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784 Yes, and then we can begin the cleansing,
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,369 if you know what I mean.
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,412 We sure do!
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:44,663 - All right! - Whoo-hoo!
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,043 [ Door opens, closes ]
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,086 Thank you.
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,921 This must be the place.
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,552 God damn. Mel Gibson must be loaded!
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,222 [ Doorbell rings ]
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,641 [ Harp plays ]
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,768 Yes?
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,020 Oh, hi. Uh, my name is Stan, and this is Kenny.
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:09,938 Mrph.
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,149 Um, we saw your movie "The Passion," and we didn't like it.
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,984 So can we have our money back, please?
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,487 You can't not like "The Passion"!
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,865 I just followed the Bible! Christ died for you!
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,074 Go home.
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,993 [ Door closes ]
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411 Look, dude. We came a long way.
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,246 We're not leaving until you give us our money.
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,290 Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna have to find it first.
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,125 But I won't tell you where I keep my money.
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,753 You can torture me all you want! I still won't tell you!
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,795 T-Torture you?
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,465 Ah! So you do intend to torture me, huh?
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,966 Well, go ahead!
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,301 Do your worst!
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,219 You still won't get your ticket money back!
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,430 I can take whatever you can dish out!
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,557 - We don't want to torture you. - I get it.
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,225 But you don't have a choice. Is that it?
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,268 Well, go ahead!
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,521 I just hope you don't use those whips over there on the wall!
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,982 Dude, can we please just have $18 back from you?
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942 I have to use that money to build my church.
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,236 I've brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,363 with "The Passion," and now I'm gonna start my own church.
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,408 And do you know why? So I can play banjo!
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,243 ♪ Jesus, oh, how I love ya ♪
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,287 ♪ How I love ya, Jesus ♪
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,206 Dude, this guy is freakin' daffy.
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,500 How dare you call me crazy?!
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,376 This means war!
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,004 [ Whooping ]
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,380 - Aah! - Mm!
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,007 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,550 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,513 And so it was that God sent His only son down from heaven
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,515 to die for our sins.
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,434 Uh, okay, but did God send Jesus to die
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,853 or did Jesus just get kind of screwed over?
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,523 What is troubling you, my child?
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,149 Well, I have this friend, see,
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,277 and this friend belongs to a certain chosen people of Israel.
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,906 And it so happens that these chosen people killed your Lord.
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,866 Ah. You mean he's a Jew.
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,910 Right, but he can't live with the guilt anymore,
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,120 because even if Jesus wasn't really the son of God,
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:50,455 he was still a nice guy
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,707 and didn't deserve what happened to him in Mel Gibson's movie.
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,792 I can't sleep at night --
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,502 I mean my friend can't sleep at night!
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,546 Yes. "The Passion" is very powerful.
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,840 The truth is, there's not a whole lot in the Bible
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,049 about the crucifixion.
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,301 "The Passion" was actually done as a performance piece
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,846 back in the Middle Ages to incite people against Jews.
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,305 But how can the Jews make it better?
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349 Well, if you really care about your friend's soul,
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,393 then perhaps show him the way of Jesus.
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,479 Remember, Christianity is about atonement.
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,147 Wait. That's it.
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,524 Atonement! Of course!
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,402 I know what I have to do now. Thank you, Father!
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,029 - Aah! - Mm!
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,740 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,743 Two days ago, I saw a rig that could haul that tanker.
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329 You want to get out of here? You talk to me.
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,874 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,126 Mel Gibson is fucking crazy, dude!
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,086 Wait! There's his wallet!
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,005 GIBSON: Free-e-e-e-dom!
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,339 Aw, crap! He's only got twenties!
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,674 You got $2, Kenny?
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,551 GIBSON: Jesus is Lord!
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,386 All right! Let's get the hell out of here!
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222 ♪ A-boom chicka boom, chicka boom, hee-hee ♪
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,558 ♪ A-boom chicka boom, chicka boom, hee-hee ♪
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,311 ♪ When you're a clown ♪
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,522 ♪ Nobody takes you seriously ♪
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,773 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,775 Run, dude! Run!
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,154 Ka-plaaah! Ka-plaaah!
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:08,909 ♪ And good evening, a-friends-ah ♪
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,955 [ Crowd cheering ]
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,375 One month ago today, this amazing film opened in theaters.
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,628 And now we proud few gather here
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,713 as a people brought together by its message!
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,176 Fellow fans of Mel Gibson, our numbers have grown.
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,471 And now, together, we have the power to change the world.
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,141 Now I believe we should take to the streets
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,144 and march in unwavering support of this important movie.
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,562 Oh, great idea!
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,813 It'll be like a parade!
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,316 - Good idea! That's great! - Love it.
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,776 And as we march for "The Passion,"
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,152 we should also voice our support.
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,156 So when I say, <i>"Es ist zeit zu saubern,"</i>
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,616 you all chant back,
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,160 <i>"Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten"!</i>
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,287 What does that mean, dear?
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,290 Oh, I think it's Aramaic -- You know, like in the movie!
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084 Ooh! Aramaic! Cool!
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,586 - Neato! - That'll be awesome!
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,672 What was our Aramaic line again?
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,257 <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,844 ALL: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,888 <i>Est is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,848 ALL: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,433 Oh, this is fun!
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,645 All right, everyone! Forward...march!
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,563 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,774 ALL: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,859 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,195 ALL: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,197 Nice.
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,829 Shalom, hacknak, shalom.
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,916 And now one of our fine young schlockers, Kyle Broflovski,
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,585 has asked if he could speak to the congregation.
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,878 Thank you, Rabbi.
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,382 [ Clears throat ] In 1973,
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,384 the United States officially issued an apology
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,386 to the African-American community for slavery.
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,930 In 1956, Germany officially apologized
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,682 for World War II and the Holocaust.
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,393 And now I believe, in 2004, the Jewish community
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,312 needs to apologize for the death of Jesus.
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,481 [ Crowd murmuring ]
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,566 Wha-Wha-What?!
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,568 If we as a people choose not to believe
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,070 that Jesus is the son of God, then we can still apologize
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,905 for the brutal way in which he was killed
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,033 and take our share of the responsibility for it.
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,284 Oh, my God!
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,202 [ Crowd murmuring ]
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,246 Kyle, what on earth has gotten into you?
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,414 I saw "The Passion"!
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,874 - Oh, no! - That movie again?
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:21,916 "The Passion"?
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,752 This proves the horrible anti-Semitic effect
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,836 that movie is having!
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,881 Yeah, it makes Jews into stereotypes.
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,842 Stereotyping Jews is terrible!
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887 Something must be done to stop that movie!
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,930 Now, now. Everyone, calm down.
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,807 We live in a rational community,
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,185 and everyone knows this is just a movie.
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,811 There's no cause for alarm.
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,314 CROWD: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,816 CARTMAN: <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,735 CROWD: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,446 <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823 CROWD: <i>Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!</i>
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,159 CARTMAN: <i>Es is zeit fur rache!</i>
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:03,416 Well, it looks like with these bus tickets, we spent about $87
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,001 getting our money back from Mel Gibson.
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,711 But I think it's the principle that matters.
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,796 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,048 [ Horn blaring ]
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,801 Oh, you've got to be shitting me.
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,886 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,222 Give me back my money!
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,474 God damn, that guy is crazy.
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,558 [ Horn honking ]
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,685 - Hey, dude, you got to speed up. - Huh?
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854 Mel Gibson is chasing after us. You got to go faster.
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,857 Ha ha. Very funny, kid. Sit down and stop playing games.
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,984 Mel Gibson is right behind you, and he's gonna --
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,236 [ Thud, tires screech ]
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,320 What the hell?
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,698 Ka-plaaah! Ka-plaaah!
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,242 Hey! That's Mel Gibson!
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,493 Yeah, I told you that!
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,994 Well, what the hell does he want?
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,788 He wouldn't give us our money back for "The Passion,"
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:42,914 so we kind of took it.
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,624 You didn't like "The Passion"?
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626 But it shows how Christ suffered for you.
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,711 Mel Gibson is a very spiritual man.
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:49,796 [ Thud ]
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,840 [ Insects chirping ]
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,883 [ Indistinct shouting ]
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,718 You guys, stop! Please!
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,262 You're gonna make people hate us more!
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,139 Can I help you?
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,558 This movie is causing !
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,393 You must remove it from your theater!
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,436 - That's right! - Remove "The Passion"!
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,231 Remove it from the theater? Fat chance!
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,066 We demand you stop showing it!
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,317 - Yeah! - Yeah!
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,902 No, no, no! Don't become an angry mob!
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,737 The last time we did that, we killed Jesus!
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:15,989 <i>Juden!</i>
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,115 What's going on here?
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,533 They're trying to have "The Passion"
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,826 pulled from the theater.
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,412 This film is anti-Semitic, and it must be stopped!
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,415 Nonsense! Mel Gibson is a smart, spiritual man.
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,292 There is nothing anti-Semitic about it.
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,170 It has reaffirmed all of our faith in Christ.
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,130 It's made one of our little Jewish boys
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716 want to apologize for the death of Jesus.
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,219 Well...maybe you <i>should</i> apologize.
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,013 - That's right! - Yeah!
00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,432 - How dare you?! - [ Vehicle approaching ]
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,433 Look out!
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,935 [ Tires screech, brakes hiss ]
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,145 [ Engine revs ]
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,771 Gaaaaaaagh!
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,940 [ Crowd screaming ]
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153 Raagh-raagh-raagh!
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,488 Give me my $18!
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,991 Mel Gibson!
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,702 Oh, <i>mein</i> savior! <i>Mein fuehrer!</i>
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,162 You're actually here!
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,080 Mr. Gibson, I have assembled the masses!
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624 We are ready to do Thy bidding!
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,375 Have I been a good boy, Mr. Gibson?
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,210 Agh!
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,504 So! You boys have led me here to your secret base, huh?
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,007 I guess now you're gonna start torturing me!
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,301 Agh! Oh, my nipples are so tender!
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,886 Don't squeeze them anymore!
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,805 That's...Mel Gibson?
00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,892 H-He's not quite as eloquent as I had pictured.
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,102 Well...
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,855 I'll bet you want to torture me now, don't you?
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,941 Dude, what's wrong with him?
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,735 He's cuckoo, dude. He's absolutely out of his mind.
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,278 You!
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,530 You would all love to torture me, wouldn't you?
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,616 Okay. Fine. See what you can fit in there.
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,825 I can take it!
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,953 Dude, I've been freaked out this whole time
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,537 because of <i>that</i> guy's movie?
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,705 Fine!
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,958 If nobody here is man enough to torture me,
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,001 then just give me my $18.
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,504 It's <i>our</i> $18. Your movie sucked!
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,214 You can't say my movie sucked
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,633 or else you're saying Christianity sucks!
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,468 No, dude. If you want to be Christian, that's cool.
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,095 But you should follow what Jesus taught
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,388 instead of how he got killed.
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:04,514 Focusing on how he got killed
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,932 is what people did in the Dark Ages,
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767 and it ends up with really bad results.
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,560 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,105 You know, he's right, Elise.
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,564 We shouldn't focus our faith
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,608 on the torture and execution of Christ.
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,903 Yeah. Lots of people got crucified in those times.
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,698 We shouldn't rely on violence to inspire faith.
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,116 Aw -- Aw, no! Come on, people!
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,577 We're so close to completing my final solution!
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,746 Oh, dude, I feel so much better about being Jewish
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,291 now that I see that Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche.
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,376 [ Farts ]
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,503 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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