Страсти жидовы

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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- Zhhhh!

- Rrrrr!

00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,752

Captain Cartman reporting

from shuttlecraft Spontaneity,

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approaching planet Omega Nine.

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Warp drive disengaged.

Landing sequence initiated.

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,049

What kind of atmosphere

are you reading

00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,467

on the planet's surface, Jew?

00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,886

- I'm a Vulcan!

- All right.

00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,346

What kind of atmosphere

are you reading, Vulcan-Jew?

00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:57,349

The atmosphere is oxygen-based.

Should support our breathing.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018

All right. Hang on.

We're about to land.

00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,729

- Rrr! Br-br-br-br-br-br!

- Zhhhh!

00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:02,563

Okay.

00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,023

First Officer Stan

and Engineer Kenny,

00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,274

come with me on the away team.

00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,609

Vulcan-Jew Kyle will wait here.

00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,027

No!

I'm on the away team, too!

00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,654

It's my mom's new minivan,

so I'm the captain, Kyle!

00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740

I don't care! You're not making

me wait in the van again!

00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:13,657

Fine, Kyle!

00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,701

But if something goes wrong

on the planet's surface,

00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,536

don't hold me responsible.

00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,209

Set phasers on stun.

00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,794

Things seem pretty quiet.

00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,712

Yes.

A little too quiet.

00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,423

I am picking up carbon-based

life-forms in Sector C.

00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,508

I believe we will find

00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,551

a village of peaceful aliens

over that ridge.

00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,720

Ugh. Okay. Fine.

I guess we'll go look --

00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:35,888

Oh, no!

Look out!

00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681

It's a giant

four-headed lava frog!

00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,682

Shoot it!

00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,309

- Byew-byew! Byew-byew!

- Byoo!

00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,936

Oh, no!

It's got Kyle!

00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,145

No, it doesn't.

00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,980

Oh, it's got Kyle,

and it's tearing his head off!

00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,649

Oh, you guys,

looks like Kyle is done for.

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No, I'm not!

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God damn it, Cartman, you are

not gonna kill me off again!

00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,153

Ugh. You see, guys?

00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,364

This is why you don't bring Jews

along on the away team.

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They don't play along.

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Shut up about Jews, fat-ass!

You don't know anything!

00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:57,576

Oh, God.

Here we go again.

00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,829

Oh, yeah? I saw Mel Gibson's

movie "The Passion."

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And Mel Gibson says in the movie

Jews are the devil!

00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,874

- He does not!

- How do you know?!

00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,960

I've seen "The Passion"

34 times now, Kyle.

00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,294

You haven't seen it once!

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There's one part where the Jews

have a chance to save Jesus,

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and you know what they do?

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They let Barabbas,

a serial killer, go free instead

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and laugh about it!

00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,011

- Nuh-unh!

- Go see the movie, Kyle!

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I'm sick of you guys arguing

about "The Passion."

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- I'm out of here.

- Mrph rm.

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I'm not arguing

about "The Passion"!

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He's being an asshole!

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You know what it is?

You're scared.

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You're scared of the truth.

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You don't want that movie

to show you

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just how bad the Jews are

and why everyone hates you.

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- People don't hate the Jews!

- Really?

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,279

$300 million

domestic box office, Kyle.

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The top-grossing film

of all time, Kyle.

00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,867

Those numbers don't lie.

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If you're not scared of

"The Passion," then go see it.

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Go see it and tell me I'm wrong.

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Mel Gibson, Kyle.

00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,000

Mel Gibson.

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You're a stupid asshole.

00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,634

Sweet.

Now I can just play with myself.

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Pew-pew-pew!

Get back in the shuttlecraft!

00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,357

One, please.

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This is an R-rated movie.

00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,320

Yeah, I know.

But I have to --

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But because this is

such an important film

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that accurately depicts the

selfless acts of Jesus Christ,

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I'll let you in to see it.

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Thanks.

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Aah!

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How?

00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,510

How could the Jews do that

to Jesus?

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Pretty brutal, isn't it?

00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,307

Kind of makes you want to change

your life, huh?

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,393

And now back

to "Terrance & Phillip."

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Hey, Terrance!

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Mom!

Doorbell!

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Wait.

Before you do, pull my thumb.

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Mom, answer the door!

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God damn it.

Lazy-ass whore.

00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,407

Fart.

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You were right.

You were right all along.

00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,998

I thought you were just an

asshole when you ripped on Jews,

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but...I didn't know.

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I-I didn't know.

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It's okay, Kyle.

It's okay.

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Just...say that first part

again.

00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,469

You -- You were right?

00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972

Mm.

One more time, Kyle.

00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,974

You were right.

00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,479

I want to thank You for all the

blessings You have brought me.

00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,773

You have shown me the way

so many times in the past,

00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900

and now You are making

all my dreams come true.

00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,736

You give me strength

where there is doubt,

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and I praise You

for all You have done.

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Only You, Mel Gibson, have had

the wisdom and the courage

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to show the world the truth.

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From this day forward,

I will dedicate my life

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to making sure Your film is seen

by everyone.

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I will organize the masses

so that we may do Thy bidding.

00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,960

Hail Mel Gibson.

Amen.

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Look at that, dude.

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"The Passion" has made

almost $400 million

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- at the box office now.

- Mrph rm.

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Everyone in the country

is going to see that movie.

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I guess we have to go see it,

too.

00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955

Dude.

00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,665

That movie sucked!

00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,167

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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How do they even call that

a movie?

00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:17,878

Mrph rm!

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That's bullcrap, dude.

Let's go get our money back.

00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,840

Mrph!

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Wow. I didn't realize

how horrible Christ's death was.

00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,387

Me neither.

00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,723

Oh, honey, let's be

good Christians from now on.

00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,768

I think if more people saw

"The Passion,"

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they'd have faith in Jesus.

00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,523

Yeah. It really guilt-trips you

into believing.

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- Hey, we want our money back.

- Huh?

00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,488

That movie sucked ass.

Give us back our $18.

00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,074

I can't refund your money.

You sat through the whole movie.

00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,075

That wasn't a movie.

00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,618

- That was a snuff film.

- Mrph!

00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,329

You can't charge to watch a guy

get tortured for two hours.

00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,164

That guy happens to be Jesus.

00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917

And he went through all that

to pay for your sins!

00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,127

We go to church

to learn that stuff.

00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,420

We go to movies

to be entertained.

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We weren't entertained,

and we want our money back!

00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,714

I'm not allowed

to give your money back

00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,299

after you sat through

the whole movie!

00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,801

You'd have to take

your complaint up

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,428

with the film's producers.

00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,305

What, Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get

our money back from Mel Gibson?

00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,141

Yeah.

I'd like to see you try.

00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,142

Oh, we will.

00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,810

This is America, and in America,

if something sucks,

00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437

you're supposed to be able

to get your money back!

00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272

Come on, Kenny!

00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531

Kill him!

00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,074

- Kill Jesus!

- Kill him!

00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,492

Kill that guy!

00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,748

- Kill him!

- Watch him die!

00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,750

Kill Jesus!

Eeeeeh!

00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,562

Okay.

Search for "Mel Gibson."

00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,481

Mel Gibson bio.

Mel Gibson news.

00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,940

Mel Gibson home page.

Here we go.

00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,859

"Welcome to

melgibsonsthepassion.com --

00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,235

your source for everything Mel.

00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,653

Pictures, philosophy,

upcoming projects."

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,946

Damn it. No phone number.

Oh, wait.

00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,198

"For more information

on Mel Gibson,

00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,949

call the webmaster

at 1-800-43..."

00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:11,950

Okay. Wait.

Here we go.

00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,877

Mel Gibson's

"The Passion" Fan Club.

00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,004

Hi. My friend and I just went

to see "The Passion."

00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,797

And so you want to join

the fan club now.

00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,841

Our first meeting is tomorrow

at 5:30 p.m.

00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,219

No, no, no. No.

We want our money back.

00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,012

- What?

- We think the movie sucked,

00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,932

and we want Mel Gibson

to give us back our $18.

00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:35,933

You thought it sucked?

00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,476

Sir, apparently

you don't understand

00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,894

what Mel Gibson

was trying to do.

00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,479

He was trying to express,

through cinema,

00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,439

the horror and filthiness

of the common Jew.

00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,483

It has made people

the world over open their eyes.

00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,276

Look, we just thought

it was a bad movie.

00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,487

So tell us how to get in touch

with Mel Gibson.

00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,405

If I knew where Mel Gibson was,

I'd be down on the floor

00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,324

licking his balls

at this very moment, sir.

00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,284

All I know is he lives

somewhere in Malibu.

00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,078

Now stop wasting me

and Mel Gibson's time,

00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,412

you little wussy prick.

00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,623

Don't take that tone with me.

I'll kick your ass.

00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,583

Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you

try, asshole!

00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,876

I'm like 6 feet tall!

00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,795

I don't care. You sound

like a little bitch to me!

00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172

Bitch, don't call me bitch!

I'll pop your fucking head open!

00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,549

You want to bring it,

you little pussy?

00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,800

I already brought it, bitch!

00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,177

I brought it, set it down on

the table, and opened it, bitch!

00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,846

Wait a minute.

Cartman?

00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,599

Ooh.

00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,061

Come on, Kenny.

We're going to Malibu.

00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,105

- Mrph? Mrph rm?

- We'll take the bus!

00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,399

Look, this isn't about

the $18 ticket money anymore.

00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,776

This is about being able to hold

bad filmmakers responsible.

00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,821

This is like when we got our

money back for "BASEketball."

00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,664

Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch

of people showing up

00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,833

in our backyard saying something

about a meeting.

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,084

Yeah, Mom, I'm holding a meeting

00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,086

for all the people who loved

"The Passion" as much as I did.

00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,588

Oh, that's great, sweetie!

00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,007

- Tell them I'll be down shortly.

- Okay, hon.

00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,719

Toten sie die Juden!

00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,347

Wir konnen nicht stillstehen,

bis sie alle tot sind!

00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,765

Okay.

I'm ready.

00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,393

I am ready to do Thy bidding,

Mel Gibson.

00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,274

Hello. Are you folks holding

this "Passion" meeting?

00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067

No, actually,

we're guests as well.

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,028

I'm Jack Garrett,

and this is my wife, Elise.

00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:11,862

Hello.

00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,114

I think it's so great that

somebody took the initiative

00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,365

to have a meeting like this.

00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,366

Oh, I agree.

00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,327

There are so many of us

who were moved by "The Passion."

00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,120

It's a perfect idea

to have us organize

00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,080

so we can strengthen

the Christian community.

00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,291

And apparently the organizer

is just an 8-year-old boy

00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,542

who was touched by the film.

00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,669

Leave it to a child

to show us all the way, huh?

00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,379

So I seen this ad

on the Internet

00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,839

saying if you loved

"The Passion"

00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,466

to come to this meeting,

so here I am.

00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343

It's great that everyone

came here to figure out

00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,553

how to use "The Passion"

to enrich everyone's lives!

00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,183

Uh, hello, everyone.

Achtung.

00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:43,685

My name is Eric Cartman,

00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,771

and I am the president

of the Mel Gibson Fan Club.

00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,440

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,442

I'm happy to see all of you

were affected by "The Passion"

00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,443

like I was.

00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,820

Now, we all know why we're here,

00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,406

and I believe we all know

what needs to be done.

00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,908

We sure do!

00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,620

But I think it's best we

don't talk out loud about it

00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,206

until we have most of them on

the trains heading to the camps.

00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,959

W-What does that mean, sweetie?

00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544

I'm not sure, but --

00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,672

Folks, I just want to interrupt

for a second

00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,173

and say how remarkable it is

00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,300

that this little boy

brought us all together.

00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,345

"The Passion" is causing

a revolution of spirituality,

00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,306

and we owe Mel Gibson

and this little boy our thanks.

00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,892

Thank you. Thank you very much.

00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,187

Now, in order to do what

we all know needs to be done,

00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,980

we are first going to need

more support.

00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023

I think we should all go out

00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,275

and take at least one other

person to see "The Passion."

00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,568

Oh, what a great idea!

00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,278

We each make it

our responsibility

00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,905

to convert one more person!

00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,573

- Great!

- Great idea.

00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784

Yes, and then we can begin

the cleansing,

00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,369

if you know what I mean.

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,412

We sure do!

00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:44,663

- All right!

- Whoo-hoo!

00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,086

Thank you.

00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,921

This must be the place.

00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,552

God damn.

Mel Gibson must be loaded!

00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,768

Yes?

00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,020

Oh, hi. Uh, my name is Stan,

and this is Kenny.

00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:09,938

Mrph.

00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,149

Um, we saw your movie "The

Passion," and we didn't like it.

00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,984

So can we have our money back,

please?

00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,487

You can't not like

"The Passion"!

00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,865

I just followed the Bible!

Christ died for you!

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,074

Go home.

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411

Look, dude.

We came a long way.

00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,246

We're not leaving

until you give us our money.

00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,290

Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna

have to find it first.

00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,125

But I won't tell you

where I keep my money.

00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,753

You can torture me all you want!

I still won't tell you!

00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,795

T-Torture you?

00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,465

Ah! So you do intend

to torture me, huh?

00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,966

Well, go ahead!

00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,301

Do your worst!

00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,219

You still won't get

your ticket money back!

00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,430

I can take whatever

you can dish out!

00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,557

- We don't want to torture you.

- I get it.

00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,225

But you don't have a choice.

Is that it?

00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,268

Well, go ahead!

00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,521

I just hope you don't use those

whips over there on the wall!

00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,982

Dude, can we please

just have $18 back from you?

00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942

I have to use that money

to build my church.

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,236

I've brought the fire and

brimstone back to Christianity

00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,363

with "The Passion," and now I'm

gonna start my own church.

00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,408

And do you know why?

So I can play banjo!

00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,243

♪ Jesus, oh, how I love ya ♪

00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,287

♪ How I love ya, Jesus ♪

00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,206

Dude, this guy

is freakin' daffy.

00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,500

How dare you call me crazy?!

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,376

This means war!

00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,380

- Aah!

- Mm!

00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,007

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,550

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,513

And so it was that God sent

His only son down from heaven

00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,515

to die for our sins.

00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,434

Uh, okay, but did God

send Jesus to die

00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,853

or did Jesus just get

kind of screwed over?

00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,523

What is troubling you, my child?

00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,149

Well, I have this friend, see,

00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,277

and this friend belongs to a

certain chosen people of Israel.

00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,906

And it so happens that these

chosen people killed your Lord.

00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,866

Ah.

You mean he's a Jew.

00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,910

Right, but he can't live

with the guilt anymore,

00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,120

because even if Jesus wasn't

really the son of God,

00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:50,455

he was still a nice guy

00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,707

and didn't deserve what happened

to him in Mel Gibson's movie.

00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,792

I can't sleep at night --

00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,502

I mean my friend

can't sleep at night!

00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,546

Yes.

"The Passion" is very powerful.

00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,840

The truth is, there's not

a whole lot in the Bible

00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,049

about the crucifixion.

00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,301

"The Passion" was actually done

as a performance piece

00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,846

back in the Middle Ages

to incite people against Jews.

00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,305

But how can the Jews

make it better?

00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349

Well, if you really care

about your friend's soul,

00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,393

then perhaps show him

the way of Jesus.

00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,479

Remember, Christianity

is about atonement.

00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,147

Wait. That's it.

00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,524

Atonement!

Of course!

00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,402

I know what I have to do now.

Thank you, Father!

00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,029

- Aah!

- Mm!

00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,740

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,743

Two days ago, I saw a rig

that could haul that tanker.

00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329

You want to get out of here?

You talk to me.

00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,874

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,126

Mel Gibson is fucking crazy,

dude!

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,086

Wait!

There's his wallet!

00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,005

Free-e-e-e-dom!

00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,339

Aw, crap!

He's only got twenties!

00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,674

You got $2, Kenny?

00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,551

Jesus is Lord!

00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,386

All right!

Let's get the hell out of here!

00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222

♪ A-boom chicka boom,

chicka boom, hee-hee ♪

00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,558

♪ A-boom chicka boom,

chicka boom, hee-hee ♪

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,311

♪ When you're a clown ♪

00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,522

♪ Nobody takes you seriously ♪

00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,775

Run, dude!

Run!

00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,154

Ka-plaaah!

Ka-plaaah!

00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:08,909

♪ And good evening,

a-friends-ah ♪

00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,375

One month ago today, this

amazing film opened in theaters.

00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,628

And now we proud few gather here

00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,713

as a people brought together

by its message!

00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,176

Fellow fans of Mel Gibson,

our numbers have grown.

00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,471

And now, together, we have

the power to change the world.

00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,141

Now I believe

we should take to the streets

00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,144

and march in unwavering support

of this important movie.

00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,562

Oh, great idea!

00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,813

It'll be like a parade!

00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,316

- Good idea! That's great!

- Love it.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,776

And as we march

for "The Passion,"

00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,152

we should also voice

our support.

00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,156

So when I say,

"Es ist zeit zu saubern,"

00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,616

you all chant back,

00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,160

"Wir mussen

die Juden ausrotten"!

00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,287

What does that mean, dear?

00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,290

Oh, I think it's Aramaic --

You know, like in the movie!

00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084

Ooh! Aramaic!

Cool!

00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,586

- Neato!

- That'll be awesome!

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,672

What was our Aramaic line again?

00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,257

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,844

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,888

Est is zeit fur rache!

00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,848

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,433

Oh, this is fun!

00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,645

All right, everyone!

Forward...march!

00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,563

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,774

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,859

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,195

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,197

Nice.

00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,829

Shalom, hacknak, shalom.

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,916

And now one of our fine young

schlockers, Kyle Broflovski,

00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,585

has asked if he could speak

to the congregation.

00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,878

Thank you, Rabbi.

00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,382

In 1973,

00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,384

the United States

officially issued an apology

00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,386

to the African-American

community for slavery.

00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,930

In 1956,

Germany officially apologized

00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,682

for World War II

and the Holocaust.

00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,393

And now I believe, in 2004,

the Jewish community

00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,312

needs to apologize

for the death of Jesus.

00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,566

Wha-Wha-What?!

00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,568

If we as a people

choose not to believe

00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,070

that Jesus is the son of God,

then we can still apologize

00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,905

for the brutal way

in which he was killed

00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,033

and take our share

of the responsibility for it.

00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,284

Oh, my God!

00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,246

Kyle, what on earth

has gotten into you?

00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,414

I saw "The Passion"!

00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,874

- Oh, no!

- That movie again?

00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:21,916

"The Passion"?

00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,752

This proves the horrible

anti-Semitic effect

00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,836

that movie is having!

00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,881

Yeah, it makes Jews

into stereotypes.

00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,842

Stereotyping Jews is terrible!

00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887

Something must be done

to stop that movie!

00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,930

Now, now.

Everyone, calm down.

00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,807

We live in a rational community,

00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,185

and everyone knows

this is just a movie.

00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,811

There's no cause for alarm.

00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,314

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,816

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,735

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,446

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,159

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:03,416

Well, it looks like with these

bus tickets, we spent about $87

00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,001

getting our money back

from Mel Gibson.

00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,711

But I think it's the principle

that matters.

00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,796

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,801

Oh, you've got to be

shitting me.

00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,222

Give me back my money!

00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,474

God damn, that guy is crazy.

00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,685

- Hey, dude, you got to speed up.

- Huh?

00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854

Mel Gibson is chasing after us.

You got to go faster.

00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,857

Ha ha. Very funny, kid.

Sit down and stop playing games.

00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,984

Mel Gibson is right behind you,

and he's gonna --

00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,320

What the hell?

00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,698

Ka-plaaah!

Ka-plaaah!

00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,242

Hey!

That's Mel Gibson!

00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,493

Yeah, I told you that!

00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,994

Well, what the hell

does he want?

00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,788

He wouldn't give us our

money back for "The Passion,"

00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:42,914

so we kind of took it.

00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,624

You didn't like "The Passion"?

00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626

But it shows how Christ

suffered for you.

00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,711

Mel Gibson

is a very spiritual man.

00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,718

You guys, stop!

Please!

00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,262

You're gonna make people

hate us more!

00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,139

Can I help you?

00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,558

This movie is causing!

00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,393

You must remove it

from your theater!

00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,436

- That's right!

- Remove "The Passion"!

00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,231

Remove it from the theater?

Fat chance!

00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,066

We demand you stop showing it!

00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,317

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,902

No, no, no!

Don't become an angry mob!

00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,737

The last time we did that,

we killed Jesus!

00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:15,989

Juden!

00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,115

What's going on here?

00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,533

They're trying to have

"The Passion"

00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,826

pulled from the theater.

00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,412

This film is anti-Semitic,

and it must be stopped!

00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,415

Nonsense! Mel Gibson

is a smart, spiritual man.

00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,292

There is nothing

anti-Semitic about it.

00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,170

It has reaffirmed

all of our faith in Christ.

00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,130

It's made one

of our little Jewish boys

00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716

want to apologize

for the death of Jesus.

00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,219

Well...maybe you should

apologize.

00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,013

- That's right!

- Yeah!

00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,432

How dare you?!

00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,433

Look out!

00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,771

Gaaaaaaagh!

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153

Raagh-raagh-raagh!

00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,488

Give me my $18!

00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,991

Mel Gibson!

00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,702

Oh, mein savior!

Mein fuehrer!

00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,162

You're actually here!

00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,080

Mr. Gibson,

I have assembled the masses!

00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624

We are ready to do Thy bidding!

00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,375

Have I been a good boy,

Mr. Gibson?

00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,210

Agh!

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,504

So! You boys have led me here

to your secret base, huh?

00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,007

I guess now you're gonna

start torturing me!

00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,301

Agh!

Oh, my nipples are so tender!

00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,886

Don't squeeze them anymore!

00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,805

That's...Mel Gibson?

00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,892

H-He's not quite as eloquent

as I had pictured.

00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,102

Well...

00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,855

I'll bet you want to torture me

now, don't you?

00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,941

Dude, what's wrong with him?

00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,735

He's cuckoo, dude.

He's absolutely out of his mind.

00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,278

You!

00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,530

You would all love

to torture me, wouldn't you?

00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,616

Okay. Fine.

See what you can fit in there.

00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,825

I can take it!

00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,953

Dude, I've been freaked out

this whole time

00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,537

because of that guy's movie?

00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,705

Fine!

00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,958

If nobody here is man enough

to torture me,

00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,001

then just give me my $18.

00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,504

It's our $18.

Your movie sucked!

00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,214

You can't say my movie sucked

00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,633

or else you're saying

Christianity sucks!

00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,468

No, dude. If you want to be

Christian, that's cool.

00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,095

But you should follow

what Jesus taught

00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,388

instead of how he got killed.

00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:04,514

Focusing on how he got killed

00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,932

is what people did

in the Dark Ages,

00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767

and it ends up

with really bad results.

00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,105

You know, he's right, Elise.

00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,564

We shouldn't focus our faith

00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,608

on the torture and execution

of Christ.

00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,903

Yeah. Lots of people

got crucified in those times.

00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,698

We shouldn't rely on violence

to inspire faith.

00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,116

Aw -- Aw, no!

Come on, people!

00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,577

We're so close to completing

my final solution!

00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,746

Oh, dude, I feel so much better

about being Jewish

00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,291

now that I see that Mel Gibson

is just a big wacko douche.

00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,503

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:00:40,575 --> 00:00:43,585

Капитан Картман докладывает с борта

челнока «Непосредственность»

00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:44,550

Приближаемся к планете Омега Девять.

00:00:44,585 --> 00:00:47,550

Гипердвигатели деактивированы.

Режим посадки задействован.

00:00:47,585 --> 00:00:50,545

Какой тип атмосферы у поверхности

планеты согласно приборов, еврей?

00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:51,510

Я вулканианец!

00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:54,520

Ладно, какой тип атмосферы согласно приборов,

еврей-вулканианец?

00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:57,555

Атмосфера преимущественно кислородная,

должна быть пригодна для дыхания.

00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:02,520

Хорошо, держитесь покрепче.

Мы приземляемся.

00:01:02,555 --> 00:01:05,565

Старший помощник Стэн и инженер Кенни,

пойдете со мной в разведгруппе...

00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,565

...а еврей-вулканианец Кайл подождет здесь.

00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,530

Нет! Я тоже в разведгруппе!

00:01:08,565 --> 00:01:10,530

Это мамина новая машина,

поэтому я и капитан, Кайл!

00:01:10,565 --> 00:01:13,070

Да насрать мне!

Опять ждать в машине ты меня не заставишь!

00:01:13,105 --> 00:01:15,540

Ладно, Кайл! Но я снимаю с себя

всякую ответственность...

00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:19,575

...если вдруг при высадке на поверхность

что-нибудь пойдет не так.

00:01:21,575 --> 00:01:23,550

Установить фазеры на шок.

00:01:23,585 --> 00:01:25,585

Кажется здесь вполне спокойно.

00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,550

Да. Даже слишком спокойно.

00:01:27,585 --> 00:01:29,550

Я засек в секторе "С" жизненные формы

на основе углерода.

00:01:29,585 --> 00:01:33,545

Полагаю, что за тем пригорком

мы найдем поселение мирных инопланетян.

00:01:33,580 --> 00:01:35,555

ОК, ладно, думаю, что нужно поискать…

00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:36,520

О, нет! Берегись!

00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:40,555

Это гигантская четырехголовая лавовая жаба!

Гаси ее!

00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:42,555

О, нет – она схватила Кайла!

00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:43,520

Нет, не схватила.

00:01:43,555 --> 00:01:45,565

Ой, схватила Кайла и отрывает ему голову!

00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:46,565

Похоже, Кайлу кранты.

00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,530

Нет, не кранты!

00:01:48,565 --> 00:01:50,530

Картман, в этот раз ты от меня не избавишься!

00:01:50,565 --> 00:01:54,565

Блин! Видите, почему нельзя брать евреев

в разведгруппу: они не подыгрывают!

00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,575

Не свисти насчет евреев, жиртрест!

Ты не знаешь нифига!

00:01:56,610 --> 00:01:57,575

Боже, опять начинается.

00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:58,540

Да ну!

00:01:58,575 --> 00:02:02,575

Я видел фильм, "Страсти",

и в фильме Мел Гибсон сказал, что Евреи – зло!

00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:03,540

Не говорил!

00:02:03,575 --> 00:02:04,540

Откуда ты знаешь?!

00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:07,550

Я смотрел "Страсти" уже тридцать четыре раза, Кайл!

Ты – ни разу!

00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:11,065

Был даже такой момент, когда Евреи могли спасти Иисуса,

но знаешь, что они сделали?

00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:14,545

Они вместо этого освободили Варавву, серийного убийцу,

Еще и смеялись над этим.

00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:15,510

Не-а!

00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:18,555

- Сходи на фильм, Кайл! Ну все, хватит! Мне уже тошнит от ваших споров из

- за "Страстей"! Я сваливаю

00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:21,555

Я не спорю из-за "Страстей"!

Просто он ведет себя, как жопа!

00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:23,520

Знаешь, в чем дело?

00:02:23,555 --> 00:02:25,520

Ты боишься. Ты боишься правды.

00:02:25,555 --> 00:02:29,565

Ты не хочешь, чтобы фильм показал тебе,

насколько ужасны евреи, и почему вас все ненавидят.

00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,530

Люди НЕ ненавидят евреев!

00:02:30,565 --> 00:02:33,565

Правда? Кассовые сборы в Штатах триста миллионов, Кайл.

00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,575

Фильм-лидер всех времен по сборам, Кайл.

00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,540

Цифры не лгут.

00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:42,575

Если не боишься "Страстей", то сходи посмотри.

Посмотри и скажи, что я не прав.

00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:46,585

Мел Гибсон, Кайл. Мел Гибсон.

00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:51,585

Ты ублюдок тупой!

00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:56,545

Здорово, теперь могу сам по себе играть.

00:02:56,580 --> 00:03:00,555

Скорее обратно на челнок!

00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,530

Один, пожалуйста.

00:03:11,565 --> 00:03:13,565

Это фильм категории «R».

00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:14,530

Да, но я должен…

00:03:14,565 --> 00:03:20,575

Но поскольку это важнейший фильм, показывающий

самоотверженный поступок Иисуса, я пропущу тебя.

00:03:22,575 --> 00:03:26,575

Спасибо.

00:04:16,545 --> 00:04:19,545

Как? Как могли Евреи так поступить с Иисусом?

00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:22,520

Довольно жестоко, да?

00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:25,555

Типа чуток заставляет тебя изменить свою жизнь, да?

00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:27,572

А сейчас снова Терранс и Филлип.

00:04:27,607 --> 00:04:29,555

Слушай, Терранс, по-моему, у меня…

00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:30,520

Мам! В дверь звонят!

00:04:30,555 --> 00:04:34,565

Погоди, сначала потяни меня за палец.

00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,082

Мам! Открой!

00:04:36,117 --> 00:04:37,530

Филлип: Что?

00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:41,575

Блин, шлюха ленивая.

00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,540

Ты был прав.

00:04:45,575 --> 00:04:47,540

Ты все время был прав.

00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:51,585

Когда ты гнал на евреев, то я думал,

что ты просто говнюк, но…я не знал...

00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:55,550

...я…я не знал.

00:04:55,585 --> 00:04:57,585

Да все в порядке, Кайл. Все хорошо.

Только…

00:04:57,620 --> 00:05:00,545

...повтори, что ты вначале сказал.

00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,520

Ты, ты был прав?

00:05:03,555 --> 00:05:05,555

Ммм, еще разочек, Кайл.

00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:09,555

Ты был прав.

00:05:10,555 --> 00:05:12,555

Хочу воздать тебе за все блага, что ты мне дал.

00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:14,577

Сколько раз ты направлял путь мой ранее...

00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:16,530

...а сейчас воплощаешь в явь все мои мечты.

00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:21,565

Ты даешь мне силу, когда я в сомнении,

и я восхваляю тебя за все, что ты сотворил.

00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,587

Лишь ты, Мел Гибсон, возымел мудрость и храбрость

открыть миру правду.

00:05:25,622 --> 00:05:29,575

Отныне я покладу жизнь свою на дело того,

чтоб фильм твой увидел каждый.

00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:32,575

Я сплочу массы, и так мы воплотим твой призыв.

00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:36,585

Славься, Мел Гибсон. Аминь.

00:05:37,585 --> 00:05:41,545

Ты только посмотри. "Страсти" собрали в прокате

уже почти 400 миллионов. Кенни: (Твою мать!)

00:05:42,545 --> 00:05:44,545

Каждый человек в нашей стране посмотрит этот фильм.

00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:50,555

Думаю…мы тоже должны его посмотреть.

00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:12,540

Блин...

00:06:12,575 --> 00:06:13,575

Кино – отстой!

Кенни:(Полная жопа!)

00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,585

Как это вообще можно назвать фильмом?

Кенни: (Не знаю)

00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:22,065

Это же бред полный, пойдем заберем свои деньги.

Кенни: (Точно!)

00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:25,545

Ничего себе, а я не понимал, насколько ужасной

была смерть Христа.

00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,520

Я тоже.

00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:30,520

Дорогой, давай с этого момента будем

хорошими христианами!

00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:34,555

Думаю, что если бы большинство людей посмотрело "Страсти",

они бы уверовали в Христа.

00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:38,577

Да, фильм просто затягивает тебя в веру.

00:06:38,612 --> 00:06:42,530

Послушайте, мы хотим обратно наши деньги.

00:06:42,565 --> 00:06:44,530

Этот фильм – полная жопа.

Отдайте наши 18 долларов.

00:06:44,565 --> 00:06:47,540

Я не могу вернуть вам деньги.

Вы посмотрели весь фильм.

00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,575

Это был не фильм, а какая-то хроника убийства.

Кенни: (Точно!)

00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,540

Нельзя грузить людей просмотром того,

как два часа пытают какого-то парня.

00:06:52,575 --> 00:06:56,080

Так получилось, что этот парень – Иисус,

и он прошел через все это, искупить ТВОИ ГРЕХИ!

00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:59,585

Чтобы узнать всю эту байду, мы ходим в церковь!

А в кино мы ходим, чтобы развлекаться!

00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,550

Мы не развлеклись,

поэтому и хотим наши деньги обратно!

00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:04,545

Я не могу отдать деньги после того,

как вы просидели весь сеанс!

00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,545

Предъявляйте претензии создателям фильма.

00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,520

- чего? Мелу Гибсону?

00:07:08,555 --> 00:07:10,555

Говорите, мы должны забрать наши деньги у Мела Гибсона?

00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,555

Ага. Удачи. А я на это посмотрю.

00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:13,520

И заберем!

00:07:13,555 --> 00:07:16,555

Это Америка! А в Америке, если что-то является отстоем,

то имеешь право вернуть свои деньги!

00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:20,565

Идем, Кенни!

00:07:27,565 --> 00:07:31,575

Убить! Виновен! Убить!

00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:36,575

Убить его! Убить! Сдохни!

00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:40,585

Убить Иисуса! Даааа!

00:07:55,555 --> 00:07:59,520

ОК, ищем Мела Гибсона.

00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:02,565

Мел Гибсон – биография, Мел Гибсон – новости,

Мел Гибсон – домашняя страница. Вот так.

00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,565

Добро пожаловать к Мелу Гибсону на ThePassion. com

00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,530

...ваш источник информации о Меле

00:08:05,565 --> 00:08:07,530

Фотки, философия, творческие планы.

Твою мать, телефона нет!

00:08:07,565 --> 00:08:11,575

О, погоди! Если нужна дополнительная

информация о Гибсоне, звонить вебмастеру 1-800-43…

00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:15,592

Ладно, ладно, погоди, звоним.

00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:19,575

ТЕЛЕФОН ФАНКЛУБА МЕЛА ГИБСОНА

00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:22,550

Фан-клуб фильма Мела Гибсона "Страсти"

00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,085

Привет, э, мы с другом только что ходили на "Страсти".

00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,585

Ага, значит вы хотите вступить в Фан-клуб прямо сейчас.

00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,510

Наше первое собрание завтра в 17.30.

00:08:27,545 --> 00:08:30,545

Нет, нет. Мы хотим получить обратно свои деньги.

00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:31,520

Чего?

00:08:31,555 --> 00:08:33,555

Мы считаем, что фильм – отстой, и мы хотим,

чтобы Мел Гибсон вернул наши 18 долларов.

00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:35,072

Не знаете, как с ним связаться?

00:08:35,107 --> 00:08:36,520

Считаете, что фильм – отстой?

00:08:36,555 --> 00:08:38,520

Сэр, очевидно, вы не понимаете, чего добивался Мел Гибсон!

00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:42,565

Посредством фильма он пытался выразить

мерзость и низость типичного еврея.

00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,530

Он раскрыл глаза людям по всему миру.

00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,565

Слушай, парень, мы просто считаем, что фильм отвратный,

поэтому скажи, как связаться с Мелом Гибсоном

00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,530

...чтобы забрать бабки!

00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:49,530

Если бы я знал, где сейчас Мел Гибсон,

00:08:49,565 --> 00:08:52,070

я бы сейчас ползал по полу и лизал его яйца, сэр.

00:08:52,105 --> 00:08:54,540

Все что мне известно - он живет где-то в Малибу.

00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,575

И хватит переводить понапрасну

мое с Мелом Гибсоном время, писюн мелкий.

00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:59,540

Эй, выбирай выражения, парень!

А то пендалей навешаю!

00:08:59,575 --> 00:09:02,585

Во как?! Хотелось бы на это глянуть, говнюк!

Я два метра ростом!

00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:04,550

Да мне насрать! По мне, так ты тявкаешь, как мелкая сучка!

00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,585

Сучка?! Не зови меня сучкой!

Я тебе башку твою гребаную разнесу!

00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:08,510

Дааа? Может, докажешь, ссыкунишка?!

00:09:08,545 --> 00:09:13,555

Уже доказал, сука! Положил на стол и раздолбал, сука!

00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:17,555

Минуточку. Картман?

- Опаньки...

00:09:19,555 --> 00:09:21,555

Ладно, Кенни. Едем в Малибу!

Кенни:(В Малибу? А как?)

00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:25,530

На автобусе! Слушай, вопрос не в 18 долларах за билет.

00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:30,070

Вопрос в возможности привлечь плохих киношников

к ответственности!

00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:34,575

Это как тогда, когда мы вернули свои деньги

за фильм "БЕЙСкетбол"!

00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:42,480

Эрик, солнышко, у нас на заднем дворе народ собирается.

Говорят что-то о собрании.

00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:46,485

Да, мам. Я собираю на митинг всех, кто полюбил "Страсти"

так же сильно, как и я.

00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,450

Это же здорово, пупсик.

00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:52,410

- Объяви им, что я скоро спущусь.

- Ладно, сладенький

00:09:52,445 --> 00:09:57,455

(нем)Toten sie die Juden.

Wir konnen nicht stillstehen bis sie alle tot sind!

00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:59,420

ОК, я готов.

00:09:59,455 --> 00:10:05,420

Я готов к приказам твоим, Мел Гибсон.

00:10:05,455 --> 00:10:07,465

Ребят, это вы организовали собрание, посвященное "Страстям"?

00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,430

Нет. Вообще-то мы тоже здесь гости.

00:10:09,465 --> 00:10:12,430

- Я Джек Гаррет, а это – моя жена Элис.

- Привет.

00:10:12,465 --> 00:10:15,465

Думаю, это здорово, что кто-то взял на себя инициативу

и организовал такое собрание.

00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:18,440

Согласна. Нас, людей, которых затронули "Страсти", так много.

00:10:18,475 --> 00:10:21,975

И мысль организовать нас для укрепления

христианского сообщества просто великолепна.

00:10:22,010 --> 00:10:25,475

И очевидно, что организатор – восьмилетний мальчик,

которого так впечатлил фильм.

00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,450

Давайте во всем доверимся ребенку.

00:10:27,485 --> 00:10:32,970

Да, и я видел рекламу в Интернете, что кто любит "Страсти",

пусть приходит на собрание, вот я и здесь!

00:10:33,005 --> 00:10:38,455

И просто здорово, что все собрались, чтобы решить,

как использовать "Страсти" для улучшения жизни каждого.

00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:42,420

Всем привет. Ахтунг!

00:10:42,455 --> 00:10:47,465

Меня зовут Эрик Картман и я президент

Фан-клуба Мела Гибсона.

00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,430

Спасибо, спасибо.

00:10:48,465 --> 00:10:52,465

Рад видеть, что на всех вас "Страсти"

произвели такое же впечатление, как и на меня.

00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:57,475

И все мы знаем, для чего здесь собрались

и знаем, что нужно сделать.

00:10:57,510 --> 00:10:59,440

Конечно, знаем.

00:10:59,475 --> 00:11:02,440

Но, думаю, пока не стоит особо распространяться

на этот счет...

00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:06,475

...пока большинство из них не будут трястись в вагонах

по направлению к лагерям.

00:11:06,510 --> 00:11:08,497

Что это значит, дорогой?

00:11:08,532 --> 00:11:10,450

Я не совсем понял, но…

00:11:10,485 --> 00:11:15,970

Друзья, я хочу прервать на секундочку и сказать,

как замечательно, что этот мальчонка собрал нас вместе.

00:11:16,005 --> 00:11:21,455

"Страсти" вызовут революцию в духовности, и мы должны за это

поблагодарить Мела Гибсона и этого мальчика.

00:11:22,455 --> 00:11:24,420

Спасибо, большое спасибо.

00:11:24,455 --> 00:11:27,455

Теперь, для начала, в порядке выполнения того,

что «вы сами знаете, что должно быть сделано»,

00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:29,430

нам потребуется дополнительная поддержка.

00:11:29,465 --> 00:11:33,465

Полагаю, что мы должны пойти и взять хотя-бы

по одному человеку на просмотр "Страстей".

00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:37,465

Отличная идея! Каждый должен взять

на себя ответственность по обращению еще одного!

00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:38,430

Это здорово! Точно! Отличная мысль!

00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:42,475

Да, а затем приступим к искуплению,

если вы понимаете, о чем я.

00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:46,475

Еще бы!

00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:51,450

Спасибо.

00:11:51,485 --> 00:11:55,485

Похоже, этот дом.

00:11:56,445 --> 00:12:02,455

Блин, похоже, у Мела Гибсона бабла навалом.

00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:07,420

Да?

00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:09,455

О, здрасте. Меня зовут Стэн, а это Кенни

Кенни: (Здравствуйте)

00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:15,465

Мы видели ваш фильм, "Страсти". И нам он не понравился,

так что можете вернуть наши деньги?

00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,430

Вам не могли не понравиться "Страсти"!

00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:20,465

Я во всем следовал Библии! Христос умер за вас.

00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,440

Идите домой.

00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:26,475

Слушай, мы, блин, проделали долгий путь.

Пока не отдашь деньги, мы не уйдем.

00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:28,475

Ах так?

Тогда сперва придется их поискать.

00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,440

Но я вам не скажу, где храню деньги.

00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:32,485

Можете меня пытать по-всякому,

но я все равно не признаюсь!

00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,450

Пы.. Пытать?

00:12:34,485 --> 00:12:36,965

Значит, вы все-таки НАСТАИВАЕТЕ на пытках, да?

00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,410

Ну что ж, вперед! Не смущайтесь в методах!

00:12:39,445 --> 00:12:43,455

Вам ДО СИХ ПОР не вернули денег!?

Я выдержу все, что вы для меня задумали!

00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:45,420

Мы не хотим вас пытать.

00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:47,420

Я это понял, но, похоже, у вас нет выбора, правда?!

00:12:47,455 --> 00:12:51,455

Давайте-давайте! Искренне надеюсь,

что вам не понадобятся вон те плетки со стены!

00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:54,465

Чувак, может просто отдашь нам 18 долларов?

00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,430

Мне эти деньги нужны на церковь!

00:12:56,465 --> 00:12:58,465

Я вернул огонь и серу в Христианство, создав "Страсти"

00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,465

...а теперь хочу создать свою собственную церковь!

00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:01,430

А знаете зачем?

00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:03,440

Могу сыграть на банджо!

00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:07,475

Иисус, как я люблю тебя, как я люблю тебя, Иисус!

00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:09,440

Твою мать. У чувака явно башню снесло!

00:13:09,475 --> 00:13:15,485

Да как ты смеешь называть меня сумасшедшим!

Ну все, это война!

00:13:21,445 --> 00:13:27,420

И Бог послал с небес своего единственного

сына умирать за наши грехи.

00:13:27,455 --> 00:13:32,455

Ладно, тогда такой вопрос – Бог послал сына на смерть,

или Иисус получил какое-то наказание.

00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,430

Что тревожит тебя, дитя мое?

00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:36,430

У меня есть один друг, понимаете?

00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:39,430

И этот друг принадлежит

к избранному народу Израиля.

00:13:39,465 --> 00:13:43,465

И…так получилось,

что избранный народ убил вашего Господа.

00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,440

А! Ты хочешь сказать, он Иудей!

00:13:45,475 --> 00:13:47,440

Верно. Но он больше не может жить с этим чувством вины.

00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:50,475

Потому, что если Иисус даже и не был Сыном Божьим,

то он был просто хорошим парнем.

00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:52,475

И он не заслужил того,

что с ним было в фильме Мела Гибсона.

00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:54,450

Я не могу спать ночью.

00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,450

В смысле, мой…друг не может спать.

00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,450

Да, Страсти Господни производят сильное влияние.

00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:01,410

На самом деле в Библии не так уж и много

говорится о самом Распятии.

00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:06,455

А Страсти Господни были созданы в средние века,

как действо, настраивающее людей против Иудеев.

00:14:06,490 --> 00:14:07,420

Но как евреям все исправить?

00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,455

Что ж, если ты и вправду переживаешь о душе друга,

то, пожалуй, попробуй указать ему путь Иисуса.

00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:14,455

Помни: христианство – значит примирение.

00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:16,430

Постойте. То, что нужно.

00:14:16,465 --> 00:14:22,465

Примирение. Ну конечно же. Теперь я знаю, что делать.

Спасибо, святой отец.

00:14:26,475 --> 00:14:29,475

Два дня назад я видел машину,

которая сможет потянуть цистерну.

00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:34,475

Хотите свалить отсюда – обращайтесь.

00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,497

Мел Гибсон рехнулся нах... й!

00:14:36,532 --> 00:14:38,485

Погоди! Вот его бумажник!

00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,450

Свобода!

00:14:40,485 --> 00:14:43,445

Блин, у него одни двадцатки!

Кенни, есть два доллара?

00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,410

Иисус наш Господь!

00:14:44,445 --> 00:14:48,455

Ладно, пора валить отсюда нафиг!

00:14:52,455 --> 00:14:58,465

Если ты клоун, никто тебя всерьез не воспринимает!

00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,465

Бежим, бежим!

00:15:04,465 --> 00:15:08,475

…и добрый вечер, друзья!

00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:17,450

месяц назад этот удивительный фильм вышел на экраны.

00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:23,450

А сейчас мы с гордостью собрались здесь,

сплоченные его идеей!

00:15:23,485 --> 00:15:29,455

Друзья-фанаты Мела Гибсона! Наши ряды умножились,

и теперь у нас хватит сил изменить мир!

00:15:31,455 --> 00:15:36,455

Теперь мы должны выйти на улицы и пройти маршем

в знак поддержки этого важного фильма!

00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:37,420

Отличная мысль!

00:15:37,455 --> 00:15:39,465

Это будет все равно, что парад!

00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,430

Классно придумано!

00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:44,465

Так как мы будем идти маршем за "Страсти",

то мы должны озвучить нашу поддержку!

00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:48,430

Когда я скажу «Es ist Zeit fur Sauberung»(нем)

00:15:48,465 --> 00:15:53,475

вы должны ответить «Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten»(нем)

00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,440

А что это значит, дорогой?

00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:57,475

Кажется, это по-арамейски.

Ну, знаете, как в фильме.

00:15:57,510 --> 00:16:01,485

О, арамейский! Круто.

00:16:02,485 --> 00:16:04,485

Можно еще разок эту реплику по-арамейски?

00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:10,445

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,420

Es ist Zeit fur Rache!

00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:14,455

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:16,420

Ух-ты, как здорово!

00:16:16,455 --> 00:16:18,455

Внимание, все! Шагом марш!

00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:20,420

Es ist Zeit fur Rache!

00:16:20,455 --> 00:16:23,465

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,430

Es ist Zeit fur Rache!

00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:27,465

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:31,475

Отличненько.

00:16:33,675 --> 00:16:36,640

Шалом хак нак шалом.

00:16:36,675 --> 00:16:40,675

А сейчас один из наших добродетельных

юных прихожан, Кайл Брофловски

00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,685

просит разрешения обратиться к собранию.

00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,650

Спасибо, ребе.

00:16:46,685 --> 00:16:51,645

В 1973 Соединенные Штаты официально извинились

перед Афро-Американским сообществом за рабство.

00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:56,620

В 1956 Германия официально извинилась

за Вторую Мировую и за Холокост.

00:16:56,655 --> 00:17:02,655

А в 2004-м, я полагаю, что еврейское сообщество

должно извиниться за смерть Иисуса.

00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:03,630

Что?

00:17:03,665 --> 00:17:05,630

Чего-чегоо?!

00:17:05,665 --> 00:17:08,665

Если мы, как народ решили не верить в то,

что Иисус – сын Божий

00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,665

то мы можем просто извиниться за то,

как зверски он был убит

00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,675

и взять на себя часть ответственности за это.

00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:16,640

Боже мой!

00:17:16,675 --> 00:17:18,675

Кайл, да что это ты себе в голову вбил?

00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,692

Я посмотрел "Страсти".

00:17:20,727 --> 00:17:22,640

ОО, нет! Страсти?!

00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,685

Это доказывает антисемитское влияние фильма!

00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,682

Да, он делает из евреев стереотип.

00:17:28,717 --> 00:17:31,610

Еврейские стереотипы – это ужасно.

00:17:31,645 --> 00:17:34,645

Нужно что-то предпринять, чтобы остановить этот фильм!

00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,620

Так, так, успокойтесь.

00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:40,655

Мы живем в разумном обществе и все знают,

что это всего-навсего фильм.

00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,620

Нет причин бить тревогу.

00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:45,665

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,630

Es ist Zeit fur Rache!

00:17:47,665 --> 00:17:49,665

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,630

Es ist Zeit fur Rache!

00:17:51,665 --> 00:17:54,665

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:54,700 --> 00:18:00,640

Es ist Zeit fur Rache!

00:18:00,675 --> 00:18:05,685

Если считать билеты, то мы потратили 87 долларов,

чтобы забрать свои деньги у Мела Гибсона.

00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,685

Но, я думаю, что это дело принципа.

Кенни: (Точно)

00:18:11,685 --> 00:18:15,645

Глазам своим, бл…дь, не верю!

00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,620

Отдайте деньги!

00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:20,655

Твою же ж мать! Он с катушек съехал!

00:18:20,690 --> 00:18:23,620

(Водителю) Чувак, а побыстрее можно?

00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:25,655

За нами гонится Мел Гибсон.

Нужно поднажать.

00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,620

Ха-ха. Очень смешно.

00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:28,630

Сядь, где сидел - здесь не место для игр.

00:18:28,665 --> 00:18:31,665

Я не играю. Мел Гибсон едет прямо за нами, и он...

00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:35,665

Что за черт?

00:18:36,665 --> 00:18:39,675

- Эй, это же Мел Гибсон!

- Ага, а я тебе о чем толкую!

00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:40,640

Какого хрена ему нужно?

00:18:40,675 --> 00:18:43,675

Он не отдавал наши деньги за "Страсти",

и мы типа забрали их сами.

00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,640

Вам не понравились "Страсти"?

00:18:45,675 --> 00:18:49,660

Но они показывают, как Иисус страдал за вас.

00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:53,645

Мел Гибсон очень высокодуховный человек.

00:18:54,645 --> 00:18:58,655

Ну хватит вам! Пожалуйста.

Из-за этого люди возненавидят нас еще больше.

00:18:58,690 --> 00:18:59,620

Вы что-то хотели?

00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:03,655

Этот фильм провоцирует анти-семитизм!

Вы должны снять его с проката!

00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:06,177

Да, правильно! Уберите ваш фильм!

00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:08,438

Снять с проката? Не дождетесь!

00:19:08,473 --> 00:19:10,665

Мы требуем прекратить его показ!

00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:11,630

Да! Да!

00:19:11,665 --> 00:19:13,665

Нет-нет-нет!

Не стоит превращаться в разгневанную толпу!

00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,665

В последний раз, когда мы это делали, мы убили Иисуса!

00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,630

Юден!

00:19:16,665 --> 00:19:18,640

Что здесь происходит?

00:19:18,675 --> 00:19:20,640

Они хотят снять "Страсти" с проката

00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:23,175

Фильм антисемитский, и нужно его остановить!

00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:25,675

Чепуха! Мел Гибсон умный и духовный человек!

00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:28,197

Ничего в нем антисемитского нет!

00:19:28,232 --> 00:19:30,650

Он возродил нашу веру в Христа.

00:19:30,685 --> 00:19:35,645

Из-за него один из наших еврейских мальчиков

хочет извиниться за смерть Христа!

00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,645

Что ж, а может, стоило бы извиниться?

00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,655

Правильно! Так и нужно!

00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:43,655

Да как вы смеете?!

00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:47,655

Берегись!

00:19:55,665 --> 00:19:58,665

Верните мои восемнадцать долларов!

00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:01,640

Мел! Гибсон!

00:20:01,675 --> 00:20:03,675

О, майн спаситель! Майн фюрер!

00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,640

Ты и вправду здесь!

00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:08,675

Мел Гибсон, я поднял массы!

Мы готовы к твоим приказам!

00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:10,650

Я ведь был хорошим мальчиком, мистер Гибсон?!

00:20:10,685 --> 00:20:14,685

Ххха! Ну что ж, детишки, вы привели меня

на вашу секретную базу, да?

00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,610

Думаю, сейчас вы начнете меня пытать!

00:20:17,645 --> 00:20:21,645

Ой, мои соски такие чувствительные!

Больше не сжимайте их!

00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,620

Это…Мел Гибсон?

00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:28,620

Он.. не так убедителен, как в кино.

00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:31,655

Даа…Думаю теперь-то вы хотите меня пытать?

00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,630

Блин, а что с ним?

00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,630

Он спятил, чувак. Абсолютно сошел с ума.

00:20:36,665 --> 00:20:39,630

Вы! Вы бы меня с радостью стали пытать, правда?

00:20:39,665 --> 00:20:43,640

Ну и хорошо. Посмотрим,

что вы сюда сунете. Я все выдержу!

00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:47,640

Твою мать! Я тут себе места не нахожу

из-за фильма, снятого ЭТИМ типом?

00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:52,685

Ладно! Если здесь нет настоящих мужиков,

чтобы пытать меня, то просто отдайте 18 долларов!

00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,685

Это наши восемнадцать долларов! Ваш фильм – отстой!

00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,650

Не называй мой фильм отстоем

00:20:56,685 --> 00:20:58,645

а то иначе говоря получается,

что все Христианство – отстой!

00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,610

Нет, чувак!

00:20:59,645 --> 00:21:02,645

Если хочешь быть христианином – это круто,

но стоило показать то, чему учил Иисус

00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,620

...а не то, как его убили.

00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:10,655

Заострять внимание на том, как он был убит это как раз то,

что делали в средние века, что и привело к плачевным итогам.

00:21:10,690 --> 00:21:12,620

Знаешь, а он прав, Элис.

00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:16,665

Не нужно заострять нашу веру на пытках и казни Христа.

00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,630

Да. В разные времена распяли множество людей.

00:21:19,665 --> 00:21:22,665

Не стоит основывать

наше религиозное вдохновение на насилии.

00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,640

О, нет. Да ладно, народ!

00:21:24,675 --> 00:21:27,640

Мы ведь почти уже решили еврейский вопрос!

00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:31,680

Знаешь,теперь я уже не особо переживаю

из-за того, что я еврей,

00:21:31,715 --> 00:21:35,685

...потому, как вижу, что Мел Гибсон - просто

шизанутый мудозвон.

00:21:39,895 --> 00:21:47,895

перевод mulder ( mulder@hotbox. ru )

00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,620

[ Squeaking ]

00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,332

- Zhhhh!

- Rrrrr!

00:00:40,458 --> 00:00:42,752

Captain Cartman reporting

from shuttlecraft Spontaneity,

00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,336

approaching planet Omega Nine.

00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,589

Warp drive disengaged.

Landing sequence initiated.

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,049

What kind of atmosphere

are you reading

00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,467

on the planet's surface, Jew?

00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,886

- I'm a Vulcan!

- All right.

00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,346

What kind of atmosphere

are you reading, Vulcan-Jew?

00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:57,349

The atmosphere is oxygen-based.

Should support our breathing.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018

All right. Hang on.

We're about to land.

00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,729

- Rrr! Br-br-br-br-br-br!

- Zhhhh!

00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:02,563

Okay.

00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,023

First Officer Stan

and Engineer Kenny,

00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,274

come with me on the away team.

00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,609

Vulcan-Jew Kyle will wait here.

00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,027

No!

I'm on the away team, too!

00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,654

It's my mom's new minivan,

so I'm the captain, Kyle!

00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740

I don't care! You're not making

me wait in the van again!

00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:13,657

Fine, Kyle!

00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,701

But if something goes wrong

on the planet's surface,

00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,536

don't hold me responsible.

00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,290

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,209

Set phasers on stun.

00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,794

Things seem pretty quiet.

00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,712

Yes.

A little too quiet.

00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,423

I am picking up carbon-based

life-forms in Sector C.

00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,508

I believe we will find

00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,551

a village of peaceful aliens

over that ridge.

00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,720

Ugh. Okay. Fine.

I guess we'll go look --

00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:35,888

Oh, no!

Look out!

00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681

It's a giant

four-headed lava frog!

00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:38,682

Shoot it!

00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,309

- Byew-byew! Byew-byew!

- Byoo!

00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,936

Oh, no!

It's got Kyle!

00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:43,145

No, it doesn't.

00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,980

Oh, it's got Kyle,

and it's tearing his head off!

00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,649

Oh, you guys,

looks like Kyle is done for.

00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,650

No, I'm not!

00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,027

God damn it, Cartman, you are

not gonna kill me off again!

00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,153

Ugh. You see, guys?

00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,364

This is why you don't bring Jews

along on the away team.

00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:54,323

They don't play along.

00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,408

Shut up about Jews, fat-ass!

You don't know anything!

00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:57,576

Oh, God.

Here we go again.

00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,829

Oh, yeah? I saw Mel Gibson's

movie "The Passion."

00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:02,248

And Mel Gibson says in the movie

Jews are the devil!

00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,874

- He does not!

- How do you know?!

00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,960

I've seen "The Passion"

34 times now, Kyle.

00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,294

You haven't seen it once!

00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,547

There's one part where the Jews

have a chance to save Jesus,

00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:10,548

and you know what they do?

00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,008

They let Barabbas,

a serial killer, go free instead

00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,093

and laugh about it!

00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,011

- Nuh-unh!

- Go see the movie, Kyle!

00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,888

I'm sick of you guys arguing

about "The Passion."

00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,014

- I'm out of here.

- Mrph rm.

00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,516

I'm not arguing

about "The Passion"!

00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,684

He's being an asshole!

00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,894

You know what it is?

You're scared.

00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,146

You're scared of the truth.

00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,772

You don't want that movie

to show you

00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,275

just how bad the Jews are

and why everyone hates you.

00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,110

- People don't hate the Jews!

- Really?

00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,279

$300 million

domestic box office, Kyle.

00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:36,198

The top-grossing film

of all time, Kyle.

00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,867

Those numbers don't lie.

00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,452

If you're not scared of

"The Passion," then go see it.

00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,246

Go see it and tell me I'm wrong.

00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,081

Mel Gibson, Kyle.

00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,000

Mel Gibson.

00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:48,919

You're a stupid asshole.

00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,634

Sweet.

Now I can just play with myself.

00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,179

Pew-pew-pew!

Get back in the shuttlecraft!

00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,357

One, please.

00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,194

This is an R-rated movie.

00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,320

Yeah, I know.

But I have to --

00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,614

But because this is

such an important film

00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:19,491

that accurately depicts the

selfless acts of Jesus Christ,

00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,327

I'll let you in to see it.

00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,120

Thanks.

00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,459

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,716

[ Men speaking Aramaic ]

00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,390

[ Man screaming, whip cracking ]

00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:49,313

[ Whipping, screaming continue ]

00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,487

Aah!

00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,490

[ Man screaming, whip cracking ]

00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,872

[ Music continues ]

00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,006

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,049

How?

00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,510

How could the Jews do that

to Jesus?

00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,804

Pretty brutal, isn't it?

00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,307

Kind of makes you want to change

your life, huh?

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,393

MAN: And now back

to "Terrance & Phillip."

00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,144

- [ Doorbell rings ]

- PHILLIP: Hey, Terrance!

00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,479

Mom!

Doorbell!

00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,274

TERRANCE: Wait.

Before you do, pull my thumb.

00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:35,401

- [ Doorbell rings ]

- Mom, answer the door!

00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,236

[ Laughter on television,

doorbell rings ]

00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,988

God damn it.

Lazy-ass whore.

00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,407

TERRANCE:

Fart. [ Farts ]

00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909

[ Thunder rumbles ]

00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,870

You were right.

You were right all along.

00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,998

I thought you were just an

asshole when you ripped on Jews,

00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541

but...I didn't know.

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,168

I-I didn't know.

00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,588

It's okay, Kyle.

It's okay.

00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,466

Just...say that first part

again.

00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,469

You -- You were right?

00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,972

Mm.

One more time, Kyle.

00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,974

You were right.

00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,479

I want to thank You for all the

blessings You have brought me.

00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,773

You have shown me the way

so many times in the past,

00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:16,900

and now You are making

all my dreams come true.

00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,736

You give me strength

where there is doubt,

00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,446

and I praise You

for all You have done.

00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,532

Only You, Mel Gibson, have had

the wisdom and the courage

00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,992

to show the world the truth.

00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:26,994

From this day forward,

I will dedicate my life

00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,246

to making sure Your film is seen

by everyone.

00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,041

I will organize the masses

so that we may do Thy bidding.

00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,960

Hail Mel Gibson.

Amen.

00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,130

Look at that, dude.

00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,299

"The Passion" has made

almost $400 million

00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,009

- at the box office now.

- Mrph rm.

00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,927

Everyone in the country

is going to see that movie.

00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,472

I guess we have to go see it,

too.

00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,810

[ Man screaming, whip cracking ]

00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:58,067

[ Man groans ]

00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,652

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955

Dude.

00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,665

That movie sucked!

00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,167

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,794

How do they even call that

a movie?

00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:17,878

Mrph rm!

00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,880

That's bullcrap, dude.

Let's go get our money back.

00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,840

Mrph!

00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,177

Wow. I didn't realize

how horrible Christ's death was.

00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,387

Me neither.

00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,723

Oh, honey, let's be

good Christians from now on.

00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,768

I think if more people saw

"The Passion,"

00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,144

they'd have faith in Jesus.

00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,523

Yeah. It really guilt-trips you

into believing.

00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:42,361

- Hey, we want our money back.

- Huh?

00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,488

That movie sucked ass.

Give us back our $18.

00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,074

I can't refund your money.

You sat through the whole movie.

00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,075

That wasn't a movie.

00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,618

- That was a snuff film.

- Mrph!

00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,329

You can't charge to watch a guy

get tortured for two hours.

00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,164

That guy happens to be Jesus.

00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917

And he went through all that

to pay for your sins!

00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,127

We go to church

to learn that stuff.

00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,420

We go to movies

to be entertained.

00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,130

We weren't entertained,

and we want our money back!

00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,714

I'm not allowed

to give your money back

00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,299

after you sat through

the whole movie!

00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,801

You'd have to take

your complaint up

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,428

with the film's producers.

00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,305

What, Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get

our money back from Mel Gibson?

00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,141

Yeah.

I'd like to see you try.

00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,142

Oh, we will.

00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,810

This is America, and in America,

if something sucks,

00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437

you're supposed to be able

to get your money back!

00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272

Come on, Kenny!

00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,357

[ Moaning ]

00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,484

[ Harp plays ]

00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,570

[ Thunder crashing ]

00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531

- [ Hissing ]

- Kill him!

00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,074

- Kill Jesus!

- Kill him!

00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,492

Kill that guy!

00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,037

[ Screaming ]

00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,748

- Kill him!

- Watch him die!

00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,750

Kill Jesus!

Eeeeeh!

00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,586

[ Hisses, growls ]

00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,547

[ Thunder crashing ]

00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,925

[ Laughing ]

00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,890

[ Screams ]

00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,851

[ Birds chirping ]

00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,562

Okay.

Search for "Mel Gibson."

00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,481

Mel Gibson bio.

Mel Gibson news.

00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,940

Mel Gibson home page.

Here we go.

00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,859

"Welcome to

melgibsonsthepassion.com --

00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,235

your source for everything Mel.

00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,653

Pictures, philosophy,

upcoming projects."

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,946

Damn it. No phone number.

Oh, wait.

00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,198

"For more information

on Mel Gibson,

00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,949

call the webmaster

at 1-800-43..."

00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:11,950

Okay. Wait.

Here we go.

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,203

[ Telephone beeping ]

00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,789

[ Telephone rings ]

00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,877

Mel Gibson's

"The Passion" Fan Club.

00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,004

Hi. My friend and I just went

to see "The Passion."

00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,797

And so you want to join

the fan club now.

00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,841

Our first meeting is tomorrow

at 5:30 p.m.

00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,219

No, no, no. No.

We want our money back.

00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,012

- What?

- We think the movie sucked,

00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,932

and we want Mel Gibson

to give us back our $18.

00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:35,933

You thought it sucked?

00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,476

Sir, apparently

you don't understand

00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,894

what Mel Gibson

was trying to do.

00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,479

He was trying to express,

through cinema,

00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,439

the horror and filthiness

of the common Jew.

00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,483

It has made people

the world over open their eyes.

00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,276

Look, we just thought

it was a bad movie.

00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,487

So tell us how to get in touch

with Mel Gibson.

00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,405

If I knew where Mel Gibson was,

I'd be down on the floor

00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,324

licking his balls

at this very moment, sir.

00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,284

All I know is he lives

somewhere in Malibu.

00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,078

Now stop wasting me

and Mel Gibson's time,

00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,412

you little wussy prick.

00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,623

Don't take that tone with me.

I'll kick your ass.

00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,583

Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you

try, asshole!

00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:02,876

I'm like 6 feet tall!

00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,795

I don't care. You sound

like a little bitch to me!

00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,172

Bitch, don't call me bitch!

I'll pop your fucking head open!

00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,549

You want to bring it,

you little pussy?

00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:09,800

I already brought it, bitch!

00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,177

I brought it, set it down on

the table, and opened it, bitch!

00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,846

Wait a minute.

Cartman?

00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,599

Ooh.

00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,061

Come on, Kenny.

We're going to Malibu.

00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,105

- Mrph? Mrph rm?

- We'll take the bus!

00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,399

Look, this isn't about

the $18 ticket money anymore.

00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,776

This is about being able to hold

bad filmmakers responsible.

00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,821

This is like when we got our

money back for "BASEketball."

00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,368

[ Humming ]

00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,664

Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch

of people showing up

00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,833

in our backyard saying something

about a meeting.

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,084

Yeah, Mom, I'm holding a meeting

00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,086

for all the people who loved

"The Passion" as much as I did.

00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,588

Oh, that's great, sweetie!

00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,007

- Tell them I'll be down shortly.

- Okay, hon.

00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,009

[ Crop snaps ]

00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,719

Toten sie die Juden!

00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,347

Wir konnen nicht stillstehen,

bis sie alle tot sind!

00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,765

Okay.

I'm ready.

00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,393

I am ready to do Thy bidding,

Mel Gibson.

00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,272

[ Birds chirping ]

00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,274

Hello. Are you folks holding

this "Passion" meeting?

00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,067

No, actually,

we're guests as well.

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,028

I'm Jack Garrett,

and this is my wife, Elise.

00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:11,862

Hello.

00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,114

I think it's so great that

somebody took the initiative

00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,365

to have a meeting like this.

00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,366

Oh, I agree.

00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,327

There are so many of us

who were moved by "The Passion."

00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,120

It's a perfect idea

to have us organize

00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,080

so we can strengthen

the Christian community.

00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,291

And apparently the organizer

is just an 8-year-old boy

00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,542

who was touched by the film.

00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,669

Leave it to a child

to show us all the way, huh?

00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,379

So I seen this ad

on the Internet

00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,839

saying if you loved

"The Passion"

00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,466

to come to this meeting,

so here I am.

00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343

It's great that everyone

came here to figure out

00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,553

how to use "The Passion"

to enrich everyone's lives!

00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,305

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,183

Uh, hello, everyone.

Achtung.

00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:43,685

My name is Eric Cartman,

00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,771

and I am the president

of the Mel Gibson Fan Club.

00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,439

[Applause ]

00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,440

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,442

I'm happy to see all of you

were affected by "The Passion"

00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,443

like I was.

00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,820

Now, we all know why we're here,

00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,406

and I believe we all know

what needs to be done.

00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,908

We sure do!

00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,242

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,620

But I think it's best we

don't talk out loud about it

00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,206

until we have most of them on

the trains heading to the camps.

00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,166

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,959

W-What does that mean, sweetie?

00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544

I'm not sure, but --

00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,672

Folks, I just want to interrupt

for a second

00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,173

and say how remarkable it is

00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,300

that this little boy

brought us all together.

00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,345

"The Passion" is causing

a revolution of spirituality,

00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:21,306

and we owe Mel Gibson

and this little boy our thanks.

00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,892

- [ Cheers and applause ]

- Thank you. Thank you very much.

00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,187

Now, in order to do what

we all know needs to be done,

00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,980

we are first going to need

more support.

00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023

I think we should all go out

00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,275

and take at least one other

person to see "The Passion."

00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,568

Oh, what a great idea!

00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,278

We each make it

our responsibility

00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,905

to convert one more person!

00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,573

- Great!

- Great idea.

00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784

Yes, and then we can begin

the cleansing,

00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,369

if you know what I mean.

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,412

We sure do!

00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:44,663

- All right!

- Whoo-hoo!

00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,043

[ Door opens, closes ]

00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,086

Thank you.

00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,921

This must be the place.

00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,552

God damn.

Mel Gibson must be loaded!

00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,222

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,641

[ Harp plays ]

00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,768

Yes?

00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,020

Oh, hi. Uh, my name is Stan,

and this is Kenny.

00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:09,938

Mrph.

00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,149

Um, we saw your movie "The

Passion," and we didn't like it.

00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,984

So can we have our money back,

please?

00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,487

You can't not like

"The Passion"!

00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,865

I just followed the Bible!

Christ died for you!

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,074

Go home.

00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,993

[ Door closes ]

00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,411

Look, dude.

We came a long way.

00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,246

We're not leaving

until you give us our money.

00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,290

Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna

have to find it first.

00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,125

But I won't tell you

where I keep my money.

00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,753

You can torture me all you want!

I still won't tell you!

00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:33,795

T-Torture you?

00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,465

Ah! So you do intend

to torture me, huh?

00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,966

Well, go ahead!

00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,301

Do your worst!

00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,219

You still won't get

your ticket money back!

00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,430

I can take whatever

you can dish out!

00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,557

- We don't want to torture you.

- I get it.

00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,225

But you don't have a choice.

Is that it?

00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,268

Well, go ahead!

00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,521

I just hope you don't use those

whips over there on the wall!

00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,982

Dude, can we please

just have $18 back from you?

00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,942

I have to use that money

to build my church.

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,236

I've brought the fire and

brimstone back to Christianity

00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,363

with "The Passion," and now I'm

gonna start my own church.

00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,408

And do you know why?

So I can play banjo!

00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,243

♪ Jesus, oh, how I love ya ♪

00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,287

♪ How I love ya, Jesus ♪

00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,206

Dude, this guy

is freakin' daffy.

00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,500

How dare you call me crazy?!

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,376

This means war!

00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,004

[ Whooping ]

00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,380

- Aah!

- Mm!

00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,007

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,550

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:24,513

And so it was that God sent

His only son down from heaven

00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,515

to die for our sins.

00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,434

Uh, okay, but did God

send Jesus to die

00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,853

or did Jesus just get

kind of screwed over?

00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,523

What is troubling you, my child?

00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,149

Well, I have this friend, see,

00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,277

and this friend belongs to a

certain chosen people of Israel.

00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,906

And it so happens that these

chosen people killed your Lord.

00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,866

Ah.

You mean he's a Jew.

00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,910

Right, but he can't live

with the guilt anymore,

00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,120

because even if Jesus wasn't

really the son of God,

00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:50,455

he was still a nice guy

00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,707

and didn't deserve what happened

to him in Mel Gibson's movie.

00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:53,792

I can't sleep at night --

00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,502

I mean my friend

can't sleep at night!

00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,546

Yes.

"The Passion" is very powerful.

00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,840

The truth is, there's not

a whole lot in the Bible

00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,049

about the crucifixion.

00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,301

"The Passion" was actually done

as a performance piece

00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,846

back in the Middle Ages

to incite people against Jews.

00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,305

But how can the Jews

make it better?

00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349

Well, if you really care

about your friend's soul,

00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,393

then perhaps show him

the way of Jesus.

00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,479

Remember, Christianity

is about atonement.

00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,147

Wait. That's it.

00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,524

Atonement!

Of course!

00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,402

I know what I have to do now.

Thank you, Father!

00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,029

- Aah!

- Mm!

00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,740

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,743

Two days ago, I saw a rig

that could haul that tanker.

00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,329

You want to get out of here?

You talk to me.

00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,874

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,126

Mel Gibson is fucking crazy,

dude!

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,086

Wait!

There's his wallet!

00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,005

GIBSON:

Free-e-e-e-dom!

00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,339

Aw, crap!

He's only got twenties!

00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,674

You got $2, Kenny?

00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,551

GIBSON:

Jesus is Lord!

00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,386

All right!

Let's get the hell out of here!

00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222

♪ A-boom chicka boom,

chicka boom, hee-hee ♪

00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,558

♪ A-boom chicka boom,

chicka boom, hee-hee ♪

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,311

♪ When you're a clown ♪

00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,522

♪ Nobody takes you seriously ♪

00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,773

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,775

Run, dude!

Run!

00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,154

Ka-plaaah!

Ka-plaaah!

00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:08,909

♪ And good evening,

a-friends-ah ♪

00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,955

[ Crowd cheering ]

00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,375

One month ago today, this

amazing film opened in theaters.

00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,628

And now we proud few gather here

00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,713

as a people brought together

by its message!

00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,176

Fellow fans of Mel Gibson,

our numbers have grown.

00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,471

And now, together, we have

the power to change the world.

00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,141

Now I believe

we should take to the streets

00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,144

and march in unwavering support

of this important movie.

00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,562

Oh, great idea!

00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,813

It'll be like a parade!

00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,316

- Good idea! That's great!

- Love it.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,776

And as we march

for "The Passion,"

00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,152

we should also voice

our support.

00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,156

So when I say,

"Es ist zeit zu saubern,"

00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,616

you all chant back,

00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,160

"Wir mussen

die Juden ausrotten"!

00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,287

What does that mean, dear?

00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:57,290

Oh, I think it's Aramaic --

You know, like in the movie!

00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084

Ooh! Aramaic!

Cool!

00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,586

- Neato!

- That'll be awesome!

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,672

What was our Aramaic line again?

00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,257

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,844

ALL:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,888

Est is zeit fur rache!

00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,848

ALL:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,433

Oh, this is fun!

00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,645

All right, everyone!

Forward...march!

00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,563

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,774

ALL:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,859

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,195

ALL:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,197

Nice.

00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,829

Shalom, hacknak, shalom.

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,916

And now one of our fine young

schlockers, Kyle Broflovski,

00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,585

has asked if he could speak

to the congregation.

00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:43,878

Thank you, Rabbi.

00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,382

[ Clears throat ]

In 1973,

00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,384

the United States

officially issued an apology

00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,386

to the African-American

community for slavery.

00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,930

In 1956,

Germany officially apologized

00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,682

for World War II

and the Holocaust.

00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,393

And now I believe, in 2004,

the Jewish community

00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,312

needs to apologize

for the death of Jesus.

00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,481

[ Crowd murmuring ]

00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,566

Wha-Wha-What?!

00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,568

If we as a people

choose not to believe

00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,070

that Jesus is the son of God,

then we can still apologize

00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,905

for the brutal way

in which he was killed

00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,033

and take our share

of the responsibility for it.

00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,284

Oh, my God!

00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,202

[ Crowd murmuring ]

00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,246

Kyle, what on earth

has gotten into you?

00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,414

I saw "The Passion"!

00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,874

- Oh, no!

- That movie again?

00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:21,916

"The Passion"?

00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,752

This proves the horrible

anti-Semitic effect

00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,836

that movie is having!

00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,881

Yeah, it makes Jews

into stereotypes.

00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,842

Stereotyping Jews is terrible!

00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887

Something must be done

to stop that movie!

00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,930

Now, now.

Everyone, calm down.

00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,807

We live in a rational community,

00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,185

and everyone knows

this is just a movie.

00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,811

There's no cause for alarm.

00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,314

CROWD:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,816

CARTMAN:

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,735

CROWD:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,446

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823

CROWD:

Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!

00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,159

CARTMAN:

Es is zeit fur rache!

00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:03,416

Well, it looks like with these

bus tickets, we spent about $87

00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,001

getting our money back

from Mel Gibson.

00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,711

But I think it's the principle

that matters.

00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,796

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,048

[ Horn blaring ]

00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,801

Oh, you've got to be

shitting me.

00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,886

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,222

Give me back my money!

00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,474

God damn, that guy is crazy.

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,558

[ Horn honking ]

00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,685

- Hey, dude, you got to speed up.

- Huh?

00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,854

Mel Gibson is chasing after us.

You got to go faster.

00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,857

Ha ha. Very funny, kid.

Sit down and stop playing games.

00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,984

Mel Gibson is right behind you,

and he's gonna --

00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,236

[ Thud, tires screech ]

00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,320

What the hell?

00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,698

Ka-plaaah!

Ka-plaaah!

00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,242

Hey!

That's Mel Gibson!

00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,493

Yeah, I told you that!

00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,994

Well, what the hell

does he want?

00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,788

He wouldn't give us our

money back for "The Passion,"

00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:42,914

so we kind of took it.

00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,624

You didn't like "The Passion"?

00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626

But it shows how Christ

suffered for you.

00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,711

Mel Gibson

is a very spiritual man.

00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:49,796

[ Thud ]

00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,840

[ Insects chirping ]

00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,883

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,718

You guys, stop!

Please!

00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,262

You're gonna make people

hate us more!

00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,139

Can I help you?

00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,558

This movie is causing

!

00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,393

You must remove it

from your theater!

00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,436

- That's right!

- Remove "The Passion"!

00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,231

Remove it from the theater?

Fat chance!

00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,066

We demand you stop showing it!

00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,317

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,902

No, no, no!

Don't become an angry mob!

00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,737

The last time we did that,

we killed Jesus!

00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:15,989

Juden!

00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,115

What's going on here?

00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,533

They're trying to have

"The Passion"

00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,826

pulled from the theater.

00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,412

This film is anti-Semitic,

and it must be stopped!

00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,415

Nonsense! Mel Gibson

is a smart, spiritual man.

00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,292

There is nothing

anti-Semitic about it.

00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,170

It has reaffirmed

all of our faith in Christ.

00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,130

It's made one

of our little Jewish boys

00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,716

want to apologize

for the death of Jesus.

00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,219

Well...maybe you should

apologize.

00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,013

- That's right!

- Yeah!

00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,432

- How dare you?!

- [ Vehicle approaching ]

00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,433

Look out!

00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,935

[ Tires screech, brakes hiss ]

00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,145

[ Engine revs ]

00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,771

Gaaaaaaagh!

00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,940

[ Crowd screaming ]

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153

Raagh-raagh-raagh!

00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,488

Give me my $18!

00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,991

Mel Gibson!

00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,702

Oh, mein savior!

Mein fuehrer!

00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,162

You're actually here!

00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,080

Mr. Gibson,

I have assembled the masses!

00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624

We are ready to do Thy bidding!

00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,375

Have I been a good boy,

Mr. Gibson?

00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,210

Agh!

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,504

So! You boys have led me here

to your secret base, huh?

00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,007

I guess now you're gonna

start torturing me!

00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,301

Agh!

Oh, my nipples are so tender!

00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,886

Don't squeeze them anymore!

00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,805

That's...Mel Gibson?

00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,892

H-He's not quite as eloquent

as I had pictured.

00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,102

Well...

00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,855

I'll bet you want to torture me

now, don't you?

00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,941

Dude, what's wrong with him?

00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,735

He's cuckoo, dude.

He's absolutely out of his mind.

00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,278

You!

00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,530

You would all love

to torture me, wouldn't you?

00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,616

Okay. Fine.

See what you can fit in there.

00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,825

I can take it!

00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,953

Dude, I've been freaked out

this whole time

00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,537

because of that guy's movie?

00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,705

Fine!

00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,958

If nobody here is man enough

to torture me,

00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,001

then just give me my $18.

00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,504

It's our $18.

Your movie sucked!

00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,214

You can't say my movie sucked

00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,633

or else you're saying

Christianity sucks!

00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,468

No, dude. If you want to be

Christian, that's cool.

00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,095

But you should follow

what Jesus taught

00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,388

instead of how he got killed.

00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:04,514

Focusing on how he got killed

00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,932

is what people did

in the Dark Ages,

00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767

and it ends up

with really bad results.

00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,560

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,105

You know, he's right, Elise.

00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,564

We shouldn't focus our faith

00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,608

on the torture and execution

of Christ.

00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,903

Yeah. Lots of people

got crucified in those times.

00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,698

We shouldn't rely on violence

to inspire faith.

00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:23,116

Aw -- Aw, no!

Come on, people!

00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,577

We're so close to completing

my final solution!

00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,746

Oh, dude, I feel so much better

about being Jewish

00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,291

now that I see that Mel Gibson

is just a big wacko douche.

00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,376

[ Farts ]

00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,503

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!