Обратная сторона стероидов
Описание
Джимми и Тимми участвуют в специальных олимпийских играх. Чтобы выиграть, Джимми принимает стероиды, а Картман притворяется умственно отсталым, чтобы участвовать и выиграть приз.
Субтитры
eng__.srt
eng__.srt
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,484
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,904
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,204
Hey, fellas.
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,372
Oh, hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Timmy.
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,540
Timmy!
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,167
Say, fellas,
Timmy and I were wondering
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,335
if maybe you would come and
cheer for us next S-Saturday.
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,378
We're both competing
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,255
in the Special Olympics
down in Denver.
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,507
The Special Olympics?
What's so special about them?
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,634
They're Olympic Games
for handicapped people.
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,927
What?
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,221
Timmy and I are competing
in a variety of events.
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,890
Yeah, sure. We'll come cheer
you and Timmy on.
00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,767
- Yeah. That'd be cool.
- Thanks a lot, fellas.
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,227
Well, we got to get to the training
center and start working out.
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,688
Word is we have a lot of
stiff competition this year.
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,315
All right.
See you on Saturday, guys.
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,108
Timmy!
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,027
Dude, I can't believe
they exploit
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,278
handicapped people like this.
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,363
I mean, making them compete
against each other
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,365
just for our amusement.
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,867
You're an asshole, Cartman.
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,202
What?
What'd I do?
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:22,333
S-Six.
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,334
Timmy.
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,461
S-S-Seven!
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,505
Timmy.
Timmy!
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,964
S-S-Seven!
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,008
Timmy!
Timmy!
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,259
I ca-- I can't!
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,428
Oh, man.
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,846
Gee whiz, Timmy.
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,640
It looks like we have
some pretty stiff competition
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,474
this year.
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,604
All the special athletes seem
to be in tip-top condition,
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,898
and I can't even get past
seven r-reps.
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,525
Well, that's it for me, Timmy.
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,859
I'm p-p-p-pooped.
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,194
I'll see you
in the locker room.
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,779
Timmy!
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,031
Hey, Jimmy,
good luck on Saturday.
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,033
You too, Francis.
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,285
Hey, Jimmy.
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,079
Oh, h-hey, Nathan.
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,165
So, uh, I see you're
training pretty hard.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,250
Yeah.
It sure is tough.
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,376
I'm training really hard,
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:06,627
but I'm not improving
fast enough,
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,379
and the Special Olympics
are a week away.
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,965
Well...maybe I can help you out.
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,552
You know, there are...shortcuts.
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,512
What kind of shortcuts?
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,264
You know.
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,473
Steroids.
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:24,395
S-S-S-S-Steroids?
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,442
But aren't those illegal?
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,403
Yeah, sure.
But these are new.
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,698
They don't show up
in a urine test.
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,576
So, uh, how do they w-work?
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,245
You just take one of these
little blue babies
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,663
three times a day
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,125
and inject this directly
into your bloodstream
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,752
twice a day before meals.
00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,588
How much would this cost me?
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,173
Uh, it isn't cheap.
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758
I've got to keep vice
off my back
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:57,553
and secure shipments
from overseas.
00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:02,349
Well, m-maybe I'll just
use them a-a little bit --
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,560
you know,
as a performance enhancer.
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,646
Whatever you say,
Jimmy, my friend.
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,523
Whatever you say.
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,775
- Vrr! Vrr!
- Beep-beep!
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,277
- Beep-beep!
- Mrph! Mrph!
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,697
You guys! You guys!
I have the best idea ever!
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,699
- I'm gonna be rich!
- What?
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,826
Dude, I was looking at
the Special Olympics brochure,
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,161
and check this shit out.
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,829
"At the end
of the Special Olympics,
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,248
a grand champion special athlete
is crowned
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,419
and given a cash prize
of $1,000."
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:32,379
So?
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,673
So?!
So, dude, think about it.
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,926
If somebody just pretended
to be mentally handicapped,
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,594
they could easily win
the competition
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,887
and get the thousand bucks!
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,889
Oh, no.
Cartman, no!
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:42,890
It's flawless!
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,225
I'll act like I have
a disability,
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,517
and when the time comes
to compete,
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,228
I'll kick ass against
all the handicapped!
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,355
That's really, really terrible,
dude.
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,397
Terrible?!
Whatever.
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,899
You guys' brains
just can't compute
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,150
complex plans like mine can.
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,610
It'll work.
You'll see.
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,987
Cartman, I will not stand by
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,531
and let you cheat your way
to winning the Special Olympics!
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,991
- Why?
- Because!
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,660
What are you gonna do, Kyle,
tell on me?
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,036
Then you'll be
a great big, no-good,
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,454
double-faced,
poopy-pants tattletale.
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,623
Is that really how you deal
with your problems?
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,333
Grow up, Kyle.
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,629
All I have to do is make people
think I'm handicapped,
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,047
and I get $1,000.
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:18,300
It won't be easy, but nothing
worth having ever is.
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,599
♪ Push it to the limit ♪
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,434
♪ The limit ♪
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,562
♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,814
♪ Don't look down ♪
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:35,484
♪ Just keep your head
or you'll be finished ♪
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,115
♪ Open up the limit ♪
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,783
♪ The limit ♪
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,744
♪ Past the point of no return ♪
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,996
♪ Reach the top ♪
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:51,667
♪ But still you got to learn
how to keep it ♪
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,215
♪ Hit the wheel
and double the stakes ♪
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,010
♪ Throttle wide open
like a bat out of hell ♪
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,220
♪ You crash the gate ♪
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,308
♪ Crash the gate ♪
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,477
♪ Going for the back of beyond ♪
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,937
♪ Nothing gonna stop you ♪
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,314
♪ There's nothing that strong ♪
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,690
♪ So close now ♪
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,444
♪ You're nearly at the brink,
so push it ♪
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,988
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:31,290
♪ Welcome to the limi-i-i-i-t ♪
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,001
- ♪ Push it to the limit ♪
- Duhrr! Duhrrrr!
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,837
I want to be
in the Thpecial Olympicth.
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,298
Bull's-eye.
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,443
Uh!
Uh, j-just a second!
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,487
Jimmy?
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,614
Hang on.
I-I'm c-coming!
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,868
Jim, it's your father.
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,537
I said I'm coming!
Give me a goddamn s-second.
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,629
Jimmy, were you masturbating?
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,255
N-No, Dad.
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,800
Okay.
Well, you have a visitor.
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:23,801
Hi, Jimmy.
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,387
Oh.
Hi, N-N-Nancy.
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,430
I was hoping we could study
for the spelling test tomorrow.
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,057
Oh, sure thing.
Come on in.
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,017
I didn't know you had
a girlfriend, Jim.
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,143
Yeah, Dad.
We've been going out
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,603
since we met in free period
last week.
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,772
I'll leave you two alone.
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,941
You sure you weren't
masturbating, Jim?
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,275
It's okay if you were.
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,902
Dad!
Jesus C-Christ!
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,404
Okay, then.
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,741
Mrph!
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,493
Duhhh-ee!
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,620
Duhhh!
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,372
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,040
Duhhh!
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,418
God damn you.
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,710
You see, gentlemen,
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,130
the Special Olympics
championship and my $1,000
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,256
is just four days away.
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,757
I'm going to go sign up now.
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883
No, you're not.
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,135
I read the brochure, Cartman.
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,262
If you're under 18, you have to
have a parent with you
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,180
to sign up
for the Special Olympics.
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,640
What?
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,476
It says right there a parent
has to be with you to sign up,
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,978
and you'll never get
your mom to agree
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,522
to something so horrible,
so ha!
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,820
Mo-o-o-m?
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:25,946
Yes, hon?
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,283
Um, could I get you
to do something for me?
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,742
What's that, hon?
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,704
Um, okay, this is going to
sound a little strange,
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,581
um, but stick with me.
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,835
Um, Mo-o-o-m...
would you mind coming with me
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,420
to sign up
for the Special Olympics
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:45,507
so I can beat all the
handicapped kids and win $1,000?
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,301
Oh.
No, sweetie.
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:51,138
I believe those Olympics
are just for special children.
00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:52,389
I'm not special?
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,224
I thought you always said
I was special.
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:58,812
You are, hon, but I don't think
that's a very good idea.
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,900
I'll split the money with you.
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,570
I'm sorry, Eric.
The answer is no.
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,118
All right, Mom.
Look.
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,578
Here's the truth.
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,748
God, this is gonna be hard
to say.
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,500
I think, Mom,
that I've been hard
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,960
on some of the handicapped kids
at school in the past.
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,921
I've sometimes looked
at people with disabilities
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,632
as people God put here on earth
for my amusement, but...
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,342
now I'm starting to think,
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,761
if I could just spend one day
in their shoes,
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,931
if I could just see the
challenges they face every day,
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,350
maybe I wouldn't be so cold.
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,644
I just want a chance
to change.
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,438
Help me change?
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,316
Oh, a-all right, sweetie.
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,318
I-I'll take you tomorrow.
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,070
Awesome.
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,698
You did a great job
in the 500, Timmy.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,534
You're really imp-p-roving.
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,701
Timmy!
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,911
I think I've got a shot
at the gold
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,954
in the swimming competition.
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,664
Coach says I'm the fastest
he's ever seen.
00:08:58,789 --> 00:08:59,957
I'll see you bright and early
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,166
for p-practice tomorrow,
Tim-Tim.
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876
Oh, hey, could you
hand me my bag?
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,336
Timmy!
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,429
T-Timmy?
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,139
Oh, uh...so, hey, Timmy,
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,684
h-how about we go out
for a d-doughnut later?
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,940
I'll, uh,
I'll see you later, Tim-Tim.
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,484
Timmy.
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,113
Look, it's really none
of your b-b-b-beeswax, Timmy.
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,281
Timmy.
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,532
Timmy!
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,578
Because maybe I don't have what
it takes to win w-without them!
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,747
Timmy.
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,749
Ti-- T-Timmy.
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,377
You -- You aren't gonna
t-tell anybody, are you?
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,296
Timmy!
T-Timmy!
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,257
Look, it's my b-body, and it's
my choice what I put in it!
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,593
Timmy.
Timmy, Jimmy!
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,469
Ah, Timmy!
Jimmy!
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,847
Don't lecture me on the
complexities of sportsmanship.
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,932
You know as well as I do most
of the kids in Special Olympics
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,100
are shooting up to compete.
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,685
I'm just trying to k-keep up.
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,812
Huh.
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,273
Timmy...Timmy.
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,566
S-So, what are you gonna do now,
huh?
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,527
You gonna be a fucking narc and
show that bottle to the coaches?
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,787
Don't think you're any better
than me, Timmy!
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,956
I'm just living
in the real world!
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,835
Fuck!
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,798
Timmy!
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,302
Hyah!
Timmy!
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,430
All right! Thirty yards, Timmy!
Keep it up!
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,599
Aah, Timmy!
Liv-a-la!
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,768
Hyah!
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,731
Wow! Jimmy, I can't believe
how much you've improved!
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,442
You're bigger and stronger
than I've ever seen you!
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,486
Yeah. I've been working out
r-really hard.
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,695
You keep going like this,
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,740
and you'll break Special Olympic
records on Saturday!
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,203
Okay. So this is all the stuff
we need to sign Michael in?
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,205
Yep. Just take the sign-up sheet
to the next table,
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,581
and they'll get it
all finalized.
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,874
Thank you very much.
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,542
Thank you.
Good luck, Michael!
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,460
Thanks!
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,753
Okay,
Next in line, please.
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,714
Duhhhhh! Duhhhhh!
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,965
Hello there.
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:14,966
Hello.
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,136
Um, I would like to sign
my son up, please.
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,138
Duhhhhh!
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,640
Oh, great.
What's his name?
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,392
Eric Cartman.
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:24,893
Cartman!
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,770
Duhhhhh!
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,897
Okay.
Age?
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:29,815
He's 9.
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:30,857
Okay.
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,442
And what's his disability?
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,445
Um, he's retarded.
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,700
No. I'm asking what
his specific condition is --
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,451
Down syndrome, cerebral palsy?
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,246
Oh.
Oh, I'm not sure.
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,666
Sweetie, what is your condition?
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,459
How should I know?
I'm retarded.
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,253
Duhhhhh!
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,048
I'll just leave that blank
for now.
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,930
Yeah.
B-bigger. S-Stronger.
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,152
Oh, hi, Timmy.
Come on in.
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,070
I understand you have
something important
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,156
you want to talk to me about,
m'kay.
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,617
Timmy.
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,202
Well, Timmy, as your counselor,
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,038
I want you to know that you can
tell me anything, m'kay.
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,999
And whatever is troubling you,
I want to try and --
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,375
and help you with it.
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,130
Timmy.
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,884
M-M'kay. Right.
You're Timmy.
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,552
Y-You have a problem?
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,221
No, not Timmy!
Jimmy.
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,682
J-Jimmy?
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,102
Oh! Oh!
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,355
Jimmy!
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,358
Oh, Jimmy Valmer.
Oh, okay. What about him?
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,986
Timmy!
Timmy, Jimmy!
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,070
Here Jimmy.
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,864
Timmy! Ti-- Oh!
T-Timmy?
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,616
Timmy?
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,911
Jimmy!
Jimmy -- Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:06,995
Timmy, Timmy!
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,664
Jimmy.
Jimmy, Jimmy, Timmy!
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,500
Timmy!
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,505
Mmm'kay.
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,382
I don't quite follow, Timmy.
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,427
Jimmy...
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,678
Right.
Jimmy Valmer.
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,014
Ah, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim--
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,516
Thhh!
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,811
Jimmy, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy!
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,938
Right.
He's Jimmy. Yeah.
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,773
Aah!
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,944
"How I Will Spend
My One Thousand Dollars,"
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,737
by Eric Cartman.
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,241
Enter.
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,336
Cartman, I really,
really have a problem
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,420
with what you're doing.
00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:00,966
I object to it morally,
and I find it grossly offensive.
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,430
Go on, Kyle.
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,516
I know that I often have
serious moral objections
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,226
to the things that you do,
but...
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,520
this time I think
you really need to reconsider.
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,356
Because if you do this,
I believe you will go to hell.
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:19,067
So I feel it is my
responsibility as your friend
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,279
to tell people what you're doing
and to put a stop to it.
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,448
Well, Kyle, I understand
where you're coming from,
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,367
and I appreciate
your being so direct.
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,119
Um, the thing is,
you really have
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,746
kind of a warped view on
morality because you're Jewish.
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,248
Now, Kyle,
you haven't gone to see
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,000
Mel Gibson's film
"The Passion," but --
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,085
I didn't come here to talk about
"The Passion," Cartman.
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,086
Let me finish.
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,754
If you had seen "The Passion,"
you would know
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,256
that hell is reserved
for the Jews
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,924
and all those
who don't accept Christ.
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,718
That being the case,
it is actually me
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,052
who is worried about your soul.
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,596
I came here to talk about you.
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,638
Yes.
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,599
And instead, you had
a breakthrough yourself.
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,892
This is really the beginning
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,643
of a whole new chapter
of your life, Kyle.
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,145
Good luck.
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,998
Come on.
Push it! Push it!
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,795
Yeah.
Nice p-pecs.
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,839
Sweet b-biceps.
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,302
Jimmy, I thought we were meeting
at the doughnut shop.
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,511
The games are in two days,
Nancy.
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,472
I can't be w-wasting my time.
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,516
I guess I didn't realize
I was a waste of time.
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,311
Oh, Jesus. You gonna start
running your mouth off again?
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,521
P-Push it.
Push it!
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,398
Jimmy, everyone's worried
about you.
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,858
You seem different.
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,485
T-They're all just jealous.
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,278
You're not the boy
I fell in love with
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,655
last week during free period.
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,782
I'm leaving you.
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,283
You're not leaving me.
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,243
You try to leave me,
and I'll kill you, bitch.
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995
You can't treat people
like this!
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,290
I said shut your mouth, bitch!
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,042
Why did you make me do it, huh?
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,545
You're not leaving anybody!
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172
You just keep
your g-goddamn mouth shut
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,299
and do as you're t-t-tol-- told!
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,301
Jimmy, what's the --
Jimmy!
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,719
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, Jimmy!
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,848
Stay away from me,
you stupid b-b-bitches!
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:30,532
Welcome, everyone,
to the 2004 Special Olympics!
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,286
We will be holding various
competitions throughout the day.
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,454
And at the end of it all,
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,666
we will have some very special
celebrity athletes here
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,918
to present the trophy
for top athlete,
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,547
along with a cash prize
of $1,000.
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,632
Top athlete.
Yeah.
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,676
$1,000.
Yeah.
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,803
So let's have
all our athletes report
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,682
to their first assigned events,
and...let the games begin!
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,729
Will those athletes in
heat one of the 100-meter dash
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,647
please report to track area B?
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,232
Okay, racers.
Are we ready?
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,316
Take your marks!
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,403
Duhhh!
Duhhh!
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,780
On your marks.
Get set.
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,828
W-What the hell?!
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,463
Great job, everyone!
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,048
You three advance
to the next heat.
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,549
- All right!
- We did it!
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,677
Yeah. I guess I --
guess I just have to kick ass
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,262
in the other events.
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,691
Yeah!
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,110
Yeah! Yeah!
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,111
He's got it!
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,405
That's a new Special Olympics
record, folks!
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,115
♪ Push it to the limit ♪
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,034
♪ The limit ♪
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,120
♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,455
- God damn it!
- ♪ Don't look down ♪
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,000
♪ Just keep your head
or you'll be finished ♪
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,837
Winner -- Jimmy Valmer!
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,380
♪ Open up the limit ♪
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,549
♪ The limit ♪
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,469
♪ Past the point of no return ♪
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,553
♪ Reach the top ♪
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,764
All right. This one I can win.
Here. Hold this.
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390
I'll show you goddamn retards.
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,439
♪ Hit the wheel
and double the stakes ♪
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,192
♪ Throttle wide open
like a bat out of hell ♪
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,027
- Ah, Timmy!
- ♪ You crash the gate ♪
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,947
God damn it!
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:37,617
♪ Welcome to the limit ♪
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,579
That's another
Special Olympics record!
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,414
Yeah! Yeah!
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,834
Yeah! I did it!
Yeah!
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,002
Yeah!
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,379
Ladies and gentlemen,
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,464
our day of competition
has come to an end,
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:55,343
and we have an Ultimate
Grand Special Champion for 2004.
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,096
Here to present the award
are baseball legends
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:03,017
Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi,
and Barry Bonds!
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,648
The 2004 special athlete is...
Jimmy Valmer!
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,942
Yeah!
Fuck, yeah!
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,236
Yeah!
I did it!
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,029
I'm the b-b-best!
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,698
Congratulations, Jimmy.
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,700
But we all know
that the Special Olympics
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,118
isn't just about winning,
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,745
and so we will now give out
the Spirit Award
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,373
to the handicapped person
who came in very last --
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,708
Eric Cartman!
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,254
Aw, screw you, hippies!
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,881
For winning the Spirit Award,
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,551
Eric will receive this gift
certificate to Shakey's for $50!
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,844
Come on up, Eric!
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,847
I can go to Shakey's.
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,600
Uh, duhhh!
Duhh!
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,186
Dyee!
Dyeee! Deh!
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,355
Hey! Just what the hell
do you think you're doing, Eric?
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,733
Uh...
Uh, duh.
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,068
You f-faked being handicapped
to win?!
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,737
I should k-kick your ass
right here,
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,323
you lousy, no-good
ch-ch-cheater!
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,575
Timmy.
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,618
What?
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,912
Timmy.
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,665
Oh, my God.
Y-You're right, Timmy.
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,334
You're totally right.
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,922
Everyone, can I have
your attention, p-please?
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,342
I'm afraid I have to give back
my medal.
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,346
The truth is, I haven't
been playing fair either.
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,723
I've been using s-s-steroids.
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,100
I was willing to do anything
to be the best,
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,394
and the steroids made me blind
to the people I was hurting.
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,313
A good friend even tried
to talk me out of it,
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,689
and I wouldn't listen to him.
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,691
Timmy.
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,569
Taking steroids is just like
pretending to be handicapped
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:37,904
at the Special Olympics,
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,615
because you're taking all
the fairness out of the game.
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,909
But I know now that even
if you do win on steroids,
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:43,952
you're really not a winner.
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,453
You're just a p-pussy.
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,456
You're just a big fat p-p-pussy.
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,540
And if you take steroids,
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,210
the only decent thing to do
is come forward and say,
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,421
"Remove me from the record books
because I am a big stinky
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:59,133
p-pussy,
steroid-taking jackass."
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,927
That's how I feel about myself
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,303
and why I must decline
this medal
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,680
and my place
in the history books.
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:04,889
And if you let me,
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,308
I'll be back next year
to compete with honor.
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,566
Hey, kid, good for you
for being honest.
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:20,029
Well, guys, I guess now you see
what I was up to all along.
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,864
I dressed up
like a handicapped person
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,783
and lost the Special Olympics
on purpose
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,537
so that Jimmy could learn
his lesson about steroids.
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,708
G-- Oh, yeah?!
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,918
Well --
Well, you guys are assholes!
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,712
Grow up!
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,484
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,904
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,204
Hey, fellas.
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,372
Oh, hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Timmy.
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,540
Timmy!
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,167
Say, fellas,
Timmy and I were wondering
00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,335
if maybe you would come and
cheer for us next S-Saturday.
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,378
We're both competing
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,255
in the Special Olympics
down in Denver.
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,507
The Special Olympics?
What's so special about them?
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,634
They're Olympic Games
for handicapped people.
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,927
[ Chuckling ]
What?
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,221
Timmy and I are competing
in a variety of events.
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,890
Yeah, sure. We'll come cheer
you and Timmy on.
00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,767
- Yeah. That'd be cool.
- Thanks a lot, fellas.
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,227
Well, we got to get to the training
center and start working out.
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,688
Word is we have a lot of
stiff competition this year.
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,315
All right.
See you on Saturday, guys.
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,108
Timmy!
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,027
Dude, I can't believe
they exploit
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,278
handicapped people like this.
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,363
I mean, making them compete
against each other
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,365
just for our amusement.
00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,867
You're an asshole, Cartman.
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,202
What?
What'd I do?
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,082
[ Grunting ]
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:22,333
S-Six.
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,334
Timmy.
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,461
S-S-Seven!
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,505
Timmy.
Timmy!
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,964
S-S-Seven!
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,008
Timmy!
Timmy!
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,259
I ca-- I can't!
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,428
[ Grunts, sighs ]
Oh, man.
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,846
Gee whiz, Timmy.
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,640
It looks like we have
some pretty stiff competition
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,474
this year.
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,851
[ Laughing ]
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,604
All the special athletes seem
to be in tip-top condition,
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,898
and I can't even get past
seven r-reps.
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,525
[ Sighs ]
Well, that's it for me, Timmy.
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,859
I'm p-p-p-pooped.
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,194
I'll see you
in the locker room.
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,779
Timmy!
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,031
Hey, Jimmy,
good luck on Saturday.
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,033
You too, Francis.
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,285
Hey, Jimmy.
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,079
Oh, h-hey, Nathan.
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,165
So, uh, I see you're
training pretty hard.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,250
Yeah.
It sure is tough.
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,376
I'm training really hard,
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:06,627
but I'm not improving
fast enough,
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,379
and the Special Olympics
are a week away.
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,965
Well...maybe I can help you out.
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,552
You know, there are...shortcuts.
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,512
What kind of shortcuts?
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,264
You know.
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,473
Steroids.
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,559
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:24,395
S-S-S-S-Steroids?
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:28,440
[ Grunting ]
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,442
But aren't those illegal?
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,403
Yeah, sure.
But these are new.
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,698
They don't show up
in a urine test.
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,576
So, uh, how do they w-work?
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,245
You just take one of these
little blue babies
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,663
three times a day
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,125
and inject this directly
into your bloodstream
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,752
twice a day before meals.
00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,588
How much would this cost me?
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,173
Uh, it isn't cheap.
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758
I've got to keep vice
off my back
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:57,553
and secure shipments
from overseas.
00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:02,349
Well, m-maybe I'll just
use them a-a little bit --
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,560
you know,
as a performance enhancer.
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,646
Whatever you say,
Jimmy, my friend.
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,523
Whatever you say.
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,775
- Vrr! Vrr!
- Beep-beep!
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,277
- Beep-beep!
- Mrph! Mrph!
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,697
You guys! You guys!
I have the best idea ever!
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,699
- I'm gonna be rich!
- What?
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,826
Dude, I was looking at
the Special Olympics brochure,
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,161
and check this shit out.
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,829
"At the end
of the Special Olympics,
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,248
a grand champion special athlete
is crowned
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,419
and given a cash prize
of $1,000."
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:32,379
So?
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,673
So?!
So, dude, think about it.
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,926
If somebody just pretended
to be mentally handicapped,
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,594
they could easily win
the competition
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,887
and get the thousand bucks!
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,889
Oh, no.
Cartman, no!
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:42,890
It's flawless!
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,225
I'll act like I have
a disability,
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,517
and when the time comes
to compete,
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,228
I'll kick ass against
all the handicapped!
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,355
That's really, really terrible,
dude.
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,397
Terrible?!
Whatever.
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,899
You guys' brains
just can't compute
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,150
complex plans like mine can.
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,610
It'll work.
You'll see.
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,987
Cartman, I will not stand by
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,531
and let you cheat your way
to winning the Special Olympics!
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,991
- Why?
- Because!
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,660
What are you gonna do, Kyle,
tell on me?
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,036
Then you'll be
a great big, no-good,
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,454
double-faced,
poopy-pants tattletale.
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,623
Is that really how you deal
with your problems?
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,333
Grow up, Kyle.
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,629
All I have to do is make people
think I'm handicapped,
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,047
and I get $1,000.
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:18,300
It won't be easy, but nothing
worth having ever is.
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,595
[ Paul Engemann's
"Push It to the Limit" plays ]
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,599
♪ Push it to the limit ♪
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,434
♪ The limit ♪
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,562
♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,814
♪ Don't look down ♪
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:35,484
♪ Just keep your head
or you'll be finished ♪
00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,115
♪ Open up the limit ♪
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,783
♪ The limit ♪
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,744
♪ Past the point of no return ♪
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,996
♪ Reach the top ♪
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:51,667
♪ But still you got to learn
how to keep it ♪
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,215
♪ Hit the wheel
and double the stakes ♪
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,010
♪ Throttle wide open
like a bat out of hell ♪
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,220
♪ You crash the gate ♪
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,308
♪ Crash the gate ♪
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,477
♪ Going for the back of beyond ♪
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,937
♪ Nothing gonna stop you ♪
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,314
♪ There's nothing that strong ♪
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,690
♪ So close now ♪
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,444
♪ You're nearly at the brink,
so push it ♪
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,988
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:31,290
♪ Welcome to the limi-i-i-i-t ♪
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,001
- ♪ Push it to the limit ♪
- Duhrr! Duhrrrr!
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,837
I want to be
in the Thpecial Olympicth.
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,298
Bull's-eye.
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,135
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,269
[ Grunting ]
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,898
[ Knock on door ]
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,443
Uh!
Uh, j-just a second!
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,487
- [ Knocking continues ]
- JIMMY'S DAD: Jimmy?
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,614
Hang on.
I-I'm c-coming!
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,868
Jim, it's your father.
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,537
I said I'm coming!
Give me a goddamn s-second.
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:13,374
[ Grunts, spits ]
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,629
Jimmy, were you masturbating?
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,255
N-No, Dad.
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,800
Okay.
Well, you have a visitor.
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:23,801
Hi, Jimmy.
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,387
Oh.
Hi, N-N-Nancy.
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,430
I was hoping we could study
for the spelling test tomorrow.
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,057
Oh, sure thing.
Come on in.
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,017
I didn't know you had
a girlfriend, Jim.
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,143
Yeah, Dad.
We've been going out
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,603
since we met in free period
last week.
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,772
I'll leave you two alone.
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,941
You sure you weren't
masturbating, Jim?
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,275
It's okay if you were.
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,902
Dad!
Jesus C-Christ!
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,404
Okay, then.
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,741
Mrph!
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,493
Duhhh-ee!
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,620
Duhhh!
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,372
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,040
Duhhh!
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,418
God damn you.
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,710
You see, gentlemen,
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,130
the Special Olympics
championship and my $1,000
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,256
is just four days away.
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,757
I'm going to go sign up now.
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883
No, you're not.
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,135
I read the brochure, Cartman.
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,262
If you're under 18, you have to
have a parent with you
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,180
to sign up
for the Special Olympics.
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,640
What?
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,476
It says right there a parent
has to be with you to sign up,
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,978
and you'll never get
your mom to agree
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,522
to something so horrible,
so ha!
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,820
Mo-o-o-m?
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:25,946
Yes, hon?
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,283
Um, could I get you
to do something for me?
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,742
What's that, hon?
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,704
Um, okay, this is going to
sound a little strange,
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,581
um, but stick with me.
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,835
Um, Mo-o-o-m...
would you mind coming with me
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,420
to sign up
for the Special Olympics
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:45,507
so I can beat all the
handicapped kids and win $1,000?
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,301
Oh.
No, sweetie.
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:51,138
I believe those Olympics
are just for special children.
00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:52,389
I'm not special?
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,224
I thought you always said
I was special.
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:58,812
You are, hon, but I don't think
that's a very good idea.
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,900
I'll split the money with you.
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,570
I'm sorry, Eric.
The answer is no.
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,118
All right, Mom.
Look.
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,578
Here's the truth.
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,748
God, this is gonna be hard
to say.
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,500
I think, Mom,
that I've been hard
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,960
on some of the handicapped kids
at school in the past.
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,921
I've sometimes looked
at people with disabilities
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,632
as people God put here on earth
for my amusement, but...
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,342
now I'm starting to think,
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,761
if I could just spend one day
in their shoes,
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,931
if I could just see the
challenges they face every day,
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,350
maybe I wouldn't be so cold.
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,644
I just want a chance
to change.
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,438
Help me change?
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,316
Oh, a-all right, sweetie.
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,318
I-I'll take you tomorrow.
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,070
Awesome.
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,698
You did a great job
in the 500, Timmy.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,534
You're really imp-p-roving.
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,701
Timmy!
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,911
I think I've got a shot
at the gold
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,954
in the swimming competition.
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,664
Coach says I'm the fastest
he's ever seen.
00:08:58,789 --> 00:08:59,957
I'll see you bright and early
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,166
for p-practice tomorrow,
Tim-Tim.
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876
Oh, hey, could you
hand me my bag?
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,336
Timmy!
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,429
T-Timmy?
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,139
Oh, uh...so, hey, Timmy,
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,684
h-how about we go out
for a d-doughnut later?
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,940
I'll, uh,
I'll see you later, Tim-Tim.
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,484
- Timmy.
- [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,113
Look, it's really none
of your b-b-b-beeswax, Timmy.
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,281
Timmy.
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,532
Timmy!
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,578
Because maybe I don't have what
it takes to win w-without them!
00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:39,371
[ Sighs ]
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,747
Timmy.
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,749
Ti-- T-Timmy.
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,377
You -- You aren't gonna
t-tell anybody, are you?
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,296
Timmy!
T-Timmy!
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,257
Look, it's my b-body, and it's
my choice what I put in it!
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,593
Timmy.
Timmy, Jimmy!
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,469
Ah, Timmy!
Jimmy!
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,847
Don't lecture me on the
complexities of sportsmanship.
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,932
You know as well as I do most
of the kids in Special Olympics
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,100
are shooting up to compete.
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,685
I'm just trying to k-keep up.
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,812
Huh.
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,273
Timmy...Timmy.
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,566
S-So, what are you gonna do now,
huh?
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,527
You gonna be a fucking narc and
show that bottle to the coaches?
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,990
[ Pills rattle ]
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,451
[ Music continues ]
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,787
Don't think you're any better
than me, Timmy!
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,956
I'm just living
in the real world!
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,835
Fuck!
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,798
Timmy!
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,302
Hyah!
Timmy!
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,430
All right! Thirty yards, Timmy!
Keep it up!
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,599
Aah, Timmy!
Liv-a-la!
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,768
Hyah!
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,478
[ Grunts ]
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,731
Wow! Jimmy, I can't believe
how much you've improved!
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,442
You're bigger and stronger
than I've ever seen you!
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,486
Yeah. I've been working out
r-really hard.
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,695
You keep going like this,
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,740
and you'll break Special Olympic
records on Saturday!
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,203
Okay. So this is all the stuff
we need to sign Michael in?
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,205
Yep. Just take the sign-up sheet
to the next table,
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,581
and they'll get it
all finalized.
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,874
Thank you very much.
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,542
Thank you.
Good luck, Michael!
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,460
Thanks!
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,753
Okay,
Next in line, please.
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,714
Duhhhhh! Duhhhhh!
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,965
Hello there.
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:14,966
Hello.
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,136
Um, I would like to sign
my son up, please.
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,138
Duhhhhh!
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,640
Oh, great.
What's his name?
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,392
Eric Cartman.
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:24,893
Cartman!
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,770
Duhhhhh!
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,897
Okay.
Age?
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:29,815
He's 9.
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:30,857
Okay.
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,442
And what's his disability?
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,445
Um, he's retarded.
00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,700
No. I'm asking what
his specific condition is --
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,451
Down syndrome, cerebral palsy?
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,246
Oh.
Oh, I'm not sure.
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,666
Sweetie, what is your condition?
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,459
How should I know?
I'm retarded.
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,253
Duhhhhh!
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,048
I'll just leave that blank
for now.
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,426
[ Dramatic music plays ]
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,930
Yeah.
B-bigger. S-Stronger.
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,771
[ Sighs ]
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,152
Oh, hi, Timmy.
Come on in.
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,070
I understand you have
something important
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,156
you want to talk to me about,
m'kay.
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,617
[ Sighing ]
Timmy.
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,202
Well, Timmy, as your counselor,
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,038
I want you to know that you can
tell me anything, m'kay.
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,999
And whatever is troubling you,
I want to try and --
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,375
and help you with it.
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,502
[ Sighs ]
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,130
Timmy.
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,884
M-M'kay. Right.
You're Timmy.
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,552
Y-You have a problem?
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,221
No, not Timmy!
Jimmy.
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,682
J-Jimmy?
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,184
[ Groans ]
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,102
Oh! Oh!
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,355
Jimmy!
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,358
Oh, Jimmy Valmer.
Oh, okay. What about him?
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,986
Timmy!
Timmy, Jimmy!
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,070
Here Jimmy.
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,864
Timmy! Ti-- Oh!
T-Timmy?
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,616
Timmy?
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,911
Jimmy!
Jimmy -- Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:06,995
Timmy, Timmy!
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,664
Jimmy.
Jimmy, Jimmy, Timmy!
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,500
Timmy!
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,505
Mmm'kay.
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,382
I don't quite follow, Timmy.
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,176
[ Grunts ]
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,427
Jimmy...
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,678
Right.
Jimmy Valmer.
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,014
[ Soft voice ]
Ah, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim--
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,516
Thhh!
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,811
[ Gruff voice ]
Jimmy, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy!
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,938
Right.
He's Jimmy. Yeah.
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,773
Aah!
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,944
"How I Will Spend
My One Thousand Dollars,"
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,737
by Eric Cartman.
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,405
[ Knock on door ]
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,241
Enter.
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,336
Cartman, I really,
really have a problem
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,420
with what you're doing.
00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:00,966
I object to it morally,
and I find it grossly offensive.
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,430
Go on, Kyle.
00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,516
I know that I often have
serious moral objections
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,226
to the things that you do,
but...
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,520
this time I think
you really need to reconsider.
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,356
Because if you do this,
I believe you will go to hell.
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:19,067
So I feel it is my
responsibility as your friend
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,279
to tell people what you're doing
and to put a stop to it.
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,448
Well, Kyle, I understand
where you're coming from,
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,367
and I appreciate
your being so direct.
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,119
Um, the thing is,
you really have
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,746
kind of a warped view on
morality because you're Jewish.
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,248
Now, Kyle,
you haven't gone to see
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,000
Mel Gibson's film
"The Passion," but --
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,085
I didn't come here to talk about
"The Passion," Cartman.
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,086
Let me finish.
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,754
If you had seen "The Passion,"
you would know
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,256
that hell is reserved
for the Jews
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,924
and all those
who don't accept Christ.
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,718
That being the case,
it is actually me
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,052
who is worried about your soul.
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,596
I came here to talk about you.
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,638
Yes.
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,599
And instead, you had
a breakthrough yourself.
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,892
This is really the beginning
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,643
of a whole new chapter
of your life, Kyle.
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,145
Good luck.
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,951
[ Humming ]
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,121
[ Grunting ]
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,998
Come on.
Push it! Push it!
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,795
Yeah.
Nice p-pecs.
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,839
Sweet b-biceps.
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,302
Jimmy, I thought we were meeting
at the doughnut shop.
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,511
The games are in two days,
Nancy.
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,472
I can't be w-wasting my time.
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,516
I guess I didn't realize
I was a waste of time.
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,311
Oh, Jesus. You gonna start
running your mouth off again?
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,521
P-Push it.
Push it!
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,398
Jimmy, everyone's worried
about you.
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,858
You seem different.
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,485
T-They're all just jealous.
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,278
You're not the boy
I fell in love with
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,655
last week during free period.
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,782
I'm leaving you.
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,283
You're not leaving me.
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,243
You try to leave me,
and I'll kill you, bitch.
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995
You can't treat people
like this!
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,290
- I said shut your mouth, bitch!
- [ Grunts, screams ]
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,042
Why did you make me do it, huh?
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,961
[ Grunting ]
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,545
You're not leaving anybody!
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172
You just keep
your g-goddamn mouth shut
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,299
and do as you're t-t-tol-- told!
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,301
Jimmy, what's the --
Jimmy!
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,719
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, Jimmy!
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,848
Stay away from me,
you stupid b-b-bitches!
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,059
[ Grunts, sobs ]
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,403
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:30,532
Welcome, everyone,
to the 2004 Special Olympics!
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,286
We will be holding various
competitions throughout the day.
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,454
And at the end of it all,
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,666
we will have some very special
celebrity athletes here
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,918
to present the trophy
for top athlete,
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,547
along with a cash prize
of $1,000.
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,632
Top athlete.
Yeah.
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,676
$1,000.
Yeah.
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,803
So let's have
all our athletes report
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,682
to their first assigned events,
and...let the games begin!
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,143
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,729
MAN: Will those athletes in
heat one of the 100-meter dash
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,647
please report to track area B?
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,232
Okay, racers.
Are we ready?
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,316
Take your marks!
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,403
Duhhh!
Duhhh!
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,780
On your marks.
Get set.
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,574
[ Gunshot, crowd cheering ]
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,325
[ Panting ]
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,828
W-What the hell?!
[ Panting ]
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,084
[ Panting, coughing ]
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,253
[ Breathing heavily ]
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,463
Great job, everyone!
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,048
You three advance
to the next heat.
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,549
- All right!
- We did it!
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,717
[ Panting ]
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,677
Yeah. I guess I --
guess I just have to kick ass
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,262
in the other events.
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,515
[ "Push It to the Limit" plays ]
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,726
[ Gurgling ]
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,148
[ Grunting ]
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,691
Yeah!
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:47,859
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,110
Yeah! Yeah!
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,111
MAN:
He's got it!
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,405
That's a new Special Olympics
record, folks!
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,115
♪ Push it to the limit ♪
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,034
♪ The limit ♪
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,120
♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,455
- God damn it!
- ♪ Don't look down ♪
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,000
♪ Just keep your head
or you'll be finished ♪
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,837
MAN:
Winner -- Jimmy Valmer!
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,380
♪ Open up the limit ♪
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,549
♪ The limit ♪
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,469
♪ Past the point of no return ♪
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,553
♪ Reach the top ♪
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,764
All right. This one I can win.
Here. Hold this.
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390
I'll show you goddamn retards.
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,684
[ Grunting ]
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,439
♪ Hit the wheel
and double the stakes ♪
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,192
♪ Throttle wide open
like a bat out of hell ♪
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,027
- Ah, Timmy!
- ♪ You crash the gate ♪
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,112
[ Grunts ]
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,947
God damn it!
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:37,617
- [ Grunting ]
- ♪ Welcome to the limit ♪
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,993
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,579
MAN: That's another
Special Olympics record!
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,414
Yeah! Yeah!
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,834
Yeah! I did it!
Yeah!
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,002
Yeah!
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,379
Ladies and gentlemen,
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,464
our day of competition
has come to an end,
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:55,343
and we have an Ultimate
Grand Special Champion for 2004.
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,096
Here to present the award
are baseball legends
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:03,017
Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi,
and Barry Bonds!
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,894
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,648
The 2004 special athlete is...
Jimmy Valmer!
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,942
Yeah!
Fuck, yeah!
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,152
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,236
Yeah!
I did it!
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,029
I'm the b-b-best!
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,698
Congratulations, Jimmy.
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,700
But we all know
that the Special Olympics
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,118
isn't just about winning,
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,745
and so we will now give out
the Spirit Award
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,373
to the handicapped person
who came in very last --
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,708
Eric Cartman!
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,460
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,254
Aw, screw you, hippies!
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,881
For winning the Spirit Award,
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,551
Eric will receive this gift
certificate to Shakey's for $50!
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,844
Come on up, Eric!
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,304
[ Cheers and applause ]
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,847
I can go to Shakey's.
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,600
Uh, duhhh!
Duhh!
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,186
Dyee!
Dyeee! Deh!
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,355
Hey! Just what the hell
do you think you're doing, Eric?
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,733
Uh...[ Chuckles ]
Uh, duh.
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,068
You f-faked being handicapped
to win?!
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,737
I should k-kick your ass
right here,
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,323
you lousy, no-good
ch-ch-cheater!
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,575
Timmy.
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,618
What?
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,912
Timmy.
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,665
Oh, my God.
Y-You're right, Timmy.
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,334
You're totally right.
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,502
[ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,922
Everyone, can I have
your attention, p-please?
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,342
I'm afraid I have to give back
my medal.
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,346
The truth is, I haven't
been playing fair either.
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,723
I've been using s-s-steroids.
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,100
I was willing to do anything
to be the best,
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,394
and the steroids made me blind
to the people I was hurting.
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,313
A good friend even tried
to talk me out of it,
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,689
and I wouldn't listen to him.
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,691
Timmy.
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,569
Taking steroids is just like
pretending to be handicapped
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:37,904
at the Special Olympics,
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,615
because you're taking all
the fairness out of the game.
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,909
But I know now that even
if you do win on steroids,
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:43,952
you're really not a winner.
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,453
You're just a p-pussy.
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,456
You're just a big fat p-p-pussy.
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,540
And if you take steroids,
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,210
the only decent thing to do
is come forward and say,
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,421
"Remove me from the record books
because I am a big stinky
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:59,133
p-pussy,
steroid-taking jackass."
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,927
That's how I feel about myself
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,303
and why I must decline
this medal
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,680
and my place
in the history books.
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:04,889
And if you let me,
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,308
I'll be back next year
to compete with honor.
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,476
[Applause ]
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,562
[ Crowd cheering ]
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,566
Hey, kid, good for you
for being honest.
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:20,029
Well, guys, I guess now you see
what I was up to all along.
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,864
I dressed up
like a handicapped person
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,783
and lost the Special Olympics
on purpose
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,537
so that Jimmy could learn
his lesson about steroids.
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,708
G-- Oh, yeah?!
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,918
Well --
Well, you guys are assholes!
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,712
Grow up!
rus__xPLOID.srt
rus__xPLOID.srt
00:00:24,635 --> 00:00:27,600
www. xploid. liveinternet. ru
00:00:27,635 --> 00:00:32,600
Серия 803: Стероиды
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,565
Эй пацаны!
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,565
О, привет Джимми, привет Тимми.
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,600
Слушайте, я хотел спросить.
Вы пойдете и поболеете за нас в эту субботу.
00:00:43,635 --> 00:00:46,117
Мы оба учавствуем в Специальных
Олимпийских играх близ Денвера.
00:00:46,152 --> 00:00:48,600
Специальные Олимпийские Игры?
Что в них такого специального?
00:00:48,635 --> 00:00:50,600
Это Олимпийские игры для инвалидов.
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:51,565
И что?
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,600
Тимми и я соревнуемся в парных дисциплинах.
00:00:54,635 --> 00:00:55,600
Да мы придем поболеть за вас с Тимми.
00:00:55,635 --> 00:00:56,617
Да это круто!
00:00:56,652 --> 00:00:57,565
Большое спасибо.
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,600
Мы пошли в тренажерный зал,
Нам надо тренироваться.
00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:02,565
В этом году мы должны победить.
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,100
Хорошо, хорошо.
Увидимся в субботу парни.
00:01:06,135 --> 00:01:09,565
Жид. Мне кажется
что людям понравится это.
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,600
В смысле когда калеки мочат
друг друга для нашей развлекухи.
00:01:13,635 --> 00:01:14,600
Ну ты и говнюк Картман.
00:01:14,635 --> 00:01:16,600
Что? Что я сделал?
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:21,900
ДЕНВЕРСКИЙ СПОРТ-КЛУБ
00:01:21,935 --> 00:01:23,865
...шесть...
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:28,900
ссс... ссс... семь!
00:01:28,935 --> 00:01:33,900
Нихрена не выходит
00:01:33,935 --> 00:01:35,865
О парень!
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:40,900
Ходят слухи. Тимми. В этом
году соревнования очень жесткие.
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:46,900
Все атлеты прекрасно подготовлены, а
я не могу даже семь раз выжать.
00:01:46,935 --> 00:01:49,417
Ладно, хорошо.
Пойду передохну.
00:01:49,452 --> 00:01:52,176
Тимми, увидимся в раздевалке.
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:54,900
Эй Джимми, удачи в субботу!
00:01:54,935 --> 00:01:56,900
Тебе тоже Фрэнсис.
00:01:56,935 --> 00:01:58,865
Эй Джимми.
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:00,865
Привет Н-Натан...
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,865
Вижу тренировки
проходят с трудом
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,900
Да трудновато, тренируюсь,
а результата ноль.
00:02:06,935 --> 00:02:08,865
а олимпийские игры через... неделю...
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:11,900
Возможно смогу помочь,
есть более легкий способ.
00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:14,417
И более быстрый...
00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:16,676
Что за способ?
00:02:16,711 --> 00:02:18,900
Ты знаешь про...
00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:21,865
Стероиды.
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:26,900
с- сс-с-сс-стероиды?
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,400
Они разве не запрещены?
00:02:31,435 --> 00:02:32,865
Да, но есть новые...
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:36,900
Их не обнаруживают в анализах мочи.
00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:38,865
Хм... И как этим пользоваться?
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:42,900
Для детей с врожденным пороком
сердца, три раза в день
00:02:42,935 --> 00:02:47,900
вводишь прямо в вену,
два раза в день перед едой
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,900
Сколько это стоит?
00:02:51,935 --> 00:02:54,865
О- о-о... Недешево...
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:59,900
Товар привозят из заграницы, у меня свои поставщики.
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:02,900
Хорошо, я
чуть чуть попробую,
00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:05,417
только для соревнований.
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,900
Как скажешь Джимми...
00:03:07,935 --> 00:03:12,900
Как скажешь...
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:14,865
Пацаны! Пацаны!
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,900
У меня супер идея! Я реально разбогатею!
00:03:17,935 --> 00:03:18,865
Как?
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:23,400
Жидяра, я прочитал брошуру
Олимпийских игр, и нашел там такое дерьмо:
00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:27,900
"в конце соревнований Чемпион-победитель
получит специальный приз... "
00:03:27,935 --> 00:03:31,900
"штуку баксов"
00:03:31,935 --> 00:03:32,865
И что?
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:34,865
"И что?" Дурни, подумайте об этом.
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:39,900
Если претвориться калекой, можно легко
выиграть и получить тысячу долларов!
00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:41,865
О нет Картман, НЕТ!
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,900
Это гениально! Я претворюсь,
что я инвалид, и
00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,900
надеру всем этим калекам задницу!
00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:49,900
Это ведь ужасно говнюк...
00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:50,865
Ужасно?
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,900
Да у вас бы мозгов не хватило
придумать такой гениальный план...
00:03:53,935 --> 00:03:55,865
Это сработает - вот увидите!
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:59,900
Картман! Я тебе не позволю обмануть
всех, и победить в олимпийских играх!
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:00,917
Почему?
00:04:00,952 --> 00:04:01,865
Потому!
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:02,865
И что ты собираешься делать
Кайл? Скажи мне?
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,900
Тогда ты будешь двуличным
сплетником в засранных штанах.
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,900
Разбирайся со своими проблемами?
00:04:07,935 --> 00:04:11,865
Подрастай Кайл!
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:15,900
Я должен всех убедить что я
инвалид и тогда получу тысячу баксов...
00:04:15,935 --> 00:04:20,900
Это будет нелегко.
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:26,900
Способы претвориться инвалидом...
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,200
Дрррр, Дрррр, я хочу учавствовать в
Специальных Олимпийских играх!
00:05:37,235 --> 00:05:42,200
Отлично!
00:05:56,700 --> 00:06:00,700
О! А! Секундочку!
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,665
Джимми?
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:04,700
Вот блин! Я! Я! Подожди!
00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:07,665
Джим, это твой отец!
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:12,700
Я же сказал подожди! Дайте
мне проклятую с-секунду.
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,700
Джимми,
00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:19,217
ты дрочишь?
00:06:19,252 --> 00:06:20,665
Н- нет, папа.
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,700
Хорошо, хорошо, к тебе пришли.
00:06:22,735 --> 00:06:24,717
Привет Джимми!
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,665
О, привет Н-нэнси.
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,700
Я думала мы будем готовиться
к завтрашнему диктанту.
00:06:28,735 --> 00:06:30,665
О, Конечно... Проходи...
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,665
Я не знал что у тебя
есть подружка Джим.
00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,700
Да папа, мы познакомились
в прошлые выходные.
00:06:34,735 --> 00:06:36,665
Оставлю вас одних.
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,700
Ты точно не дрочишь? Ато
тебя не хватит на подружку.
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:43,717
Господи! Папа!
00:06:43,752 --> 00:06:46,700
Ладно, ладно.
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:55,665
Как дела парни?
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,665
Господь проклял тебя...
00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:02,700
Вы видите господа? До специальных Олимпийских игр,
моего Чемпионства и одной штуки баксов осталось 4 дня.
00:07:02,735 --> 00:07:03,717
Я выиграю.
00:07:03,752 --> 00:07:04,665
Нет, не ты!
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,665
Я читал брошуру Картман.
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:10,700
Если тебе меньше восемнадцати, то записаться
на соревнования ты можешь только с родителями!
00:07:10,735 --> 00:07:11,665
И что?
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:15,700
Тут написано: "Родитель должен
быть с Вами чтобы записать Вас",
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:19,700
"и вы никогда не заставите Вашу маму
подписаться под этот ужас" ХА!
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,200
Ма-а-а-а-а-м?
00:07:25,235 --> 00:07:26,665
Да мой карапузик?
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,700
Ты можешь для меня кое что сделать?
00:07:29,735 --> 00:07:30,700
Что сделать мой карапузик?
00:07:30,735 --> 00:07:31,665
Хм, окей
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:36,700
Это звучит немного странно,
но послушай меня...
00:07:36,735 --> 00:07:38,665
Гм, ма-а-а-а-ам?
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:42,200
Ты сходишь со мной чтобы записать меня
на Специальные Олимпийские игры,
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:45,700
так чтоб я мог победить всех детей
инвалидов и выиграть тысячу долларов?
00:07:45,735 --> 00:07:47,665
О, нет сладкий...
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,700
Я думаю эти игры только для
"специальных" детей...
00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:52,665
А я разве не специальный?
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,665
Ты всегда говорила что я специален...
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:59,700
Ты, хм, я не думаю,
что это хорошая идея.
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:04,700
Мы поделим деньги пополам.
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,700
Я сожалею Эрик. Ответ - Нет.
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:15,665
Хорошо Мам. Вот правда...
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,665
Видит бог, это трудно сказать...
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:22,665
Я был слишком жесток с
некоторыми инвалидами в школе.
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,665
Я считал что инвалиды существуют
на земле для моего развлечения,
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:30,700
а теперь я думаю, что если бы я мог
провести хотя бы один день на их месте...
00:08:30,735 --> 00:08:33,700
если бы я мог видеть с какими проблемами
они сталкиваются каждый день...
00:08:33,735 --> 00:08:36,717
я бы не был настолько холоден...
00:08:36,752 --> 00:08:39,700
Я только хочу шанс измениться.
00:08:39,735 --> 00:08:42,665
Помоги мне измениться...
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:46,700
Ох, сладкий, конечно же я тебе помогу.
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,665
Заебись!
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,700
Мы сделали работу на все 500% Тимми.
00:08:52,735 --> 00:08:54,665
Мы действительно молодцы.
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,665
Я думаю я смогу завоевать
золото в плавании.
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,700
Тренер говорит, что я самый
быстрый из всех кого он видел.
00:08:58,735 --> 00:09:01,700
Хорошо, увидимся рано утром для тренировки. Тим-тим.
00:09:01,735 --> 00:09:06,700
Подашь мне мой рюкзак?
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,700
Ох-ох... Тимми...
00:09:18,735 --> 00:09:21,700
Увидимся позже.
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:28,200
До... До завтра Тимми.
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:32,700
Тебе показалось Тимми.
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:38,700
Возможно я не смогу победить без них!
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:48,200
Скажи мне... Ты ведь никому не расскажешь?
00:09:48,235 --> 00:09:52,700
Это ведь мой организм, и это мой выбор!
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,665
Не читай мне лекций по спортивной этике.
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,700
Только так я смогу победить на
Специальных Олимпийских играх!
00:09:59,735 --> 00:10:04,700
Я только попробую, успокойся!
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:07,665
Н- ну и что ты собираешься делать?
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:12,700
Ты станешь засранцем и
покажешь пузырек тренеру?
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,700
Не думай что ты лучше чем я Тимми!
00:10:20,735 --> 00:10:25,700
Я живу в реальном мире!
00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:30,700
Ебаный врот!
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:40,700
Хорошо - 30 ярдов Тимми, продолжай!
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,665
Вау Джимми я не могу поверить!
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,200
Ты еще более силен чем я когда либо видел!
00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:52,665
Да, мне удалось... Действительно трудно...
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:57,700
Если будешь продолжать в том же духе,
то побьешь рекорды Олимпийских игр в субботу!
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,665
Хорошо, это весь материал
чтобы записать Майкла?
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,700
Да, только поставьте подпись
под таблицей и мы закончим.
00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:06,665
Большое спасибо!
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,700
Незачто! Удачи Майклl!
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:08,665
Спасибо.
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:12,700
Окей, следующий пожалуйста?
00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:14,665
Привет.
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:19,700
Привет... Я бы хотела записать моего сына.
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:21,700
О- о-о, прекрасно, как его зовут?
00:11:21,735 --> 00:11:24,717
Эрик Картман.
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,665
КАРТМАН!
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:28,700
Хорошо, а возраст?
00:11:28,735 --> 00:11:30,665
Девять лет.
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:33,700
Хорошо, и какая у него инвалидность?
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,665
Хм... Он недалекий.
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,200
Нет, если можно поточнее?
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:42,700
Синдром дауна, паралич мозга?
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,665
Хм, я не уверена.
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:48,700
Сладкий что у тебя за болезнь?
00:11:48,735 --> 00:11:52,665
Откуда я знаю? Я же тупой!
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:57,700
Ладно, оставим этот пункт пустым.
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:05,700
Да-да... Я самый сильный!
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,665
О! Привет Тимми, заходи.
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:20,700
Ты хочешь поговрить о чем то важном, пнятно?
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:27,700
Хорошо Тимми, как ваш психолог, я хочу чтобы
ты знал, что ты можешь мне говорить все, пнятно?
00:12:27,735 --> 00:12:32,700
А я постараюсь тебе помочь
в твоей проблеме.
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,700
Пнятно, Тимми...
00:12:38,735 --> 00:12:40,665
Что за проблема?
00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:44,700
Не Ти-имми, Джимми!
00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:49,700
Джи-Джимми?
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:57,700
А Джимми Валмер! Окей, что с ним?
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,665
Ппппп-нятно.
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:21,700
Я не понимаю Тимми...
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:27,700
Так, Джимми Валмер.
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:36,665
Да, он - Джимми. Да.
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:41,700
Так я буду тратить мою тысячу
долларов, автор: Эрик Картман
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:47,700
Входите!
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,700
Картман, мне не нравится что ты делаешь,
00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:02,700
это безнравственно, и я не позволю.
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,665
Продолжай Кайл.
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,700
То что ты делаешь аморально...
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,665
Ты должен передумать.
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,700
Потому что если ты этого не сделаешь,
то будешь гореть в аду,
00:14:16,735 --> 00:14:21,700
а мне придется рассказать всем
как ты их обманываешь.
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,665
Окей Кайл, я понял куда ты клонишь.
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:32,700
Гм, ты как и все жиды имеешь
неправильное понятие об этике.
00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:36,665
Кайл, посмотри "Страсти Христовы" Мэла Гибсона...
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:37,700
Я пришел говорить не о
"Страстях Христовых", Картман!
00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:38,665
Дай мне закончить.
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,700
Если бы ты смотрел "Страсти Христовы"
то бы знал что ад открыт для евреев
00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:43,665
и всех кто не верит в Христа.
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,700
И фактически получается, что - я
единственный кто волнуется о твоей душе.
00:14:46,735 --> 00:14:48,665
Я пришел говорить о тебе!
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:51,700
Да, а вместо этого должен
был посмотреть внутрь себя.
00:14:51,735 --> 00:14:53,700
Это новая глава в втоей жизни Кайл.
00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:58,700
Удачи.
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:18,665
Подход! Толчок!
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,700
Да-а, з-замечательно.
00:15:21,735 --> 00:15:24,665
Ох.. енный бицепс!
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:27,700
Джимми, я думала мы встретимся
в магазине пончиков?
00:15:27,735 --> 00:15:30,700
Игры через 2 дня Нэнси,
я не могу т-тратить время.
00:15:30,735 --> 00:15:34,665
Я не думала, что я
была тратой времени.
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,700
Ну здорово... Ты снова
собираешься нести чушь?
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,717
Толчок! Еще толчок!
00:15:38,752 --> 00:15:40,726
Джимми что с тобой.
00:15:40,761 --> 00:15:42,730
Ты какой-то... другой.
00:15:42,765 --> 00:15:44,665
Такой же, только ревную.
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,700
Ты не тот в кого я влюбилась на прошлой неделе!
00:15:46,735 --> 00:15:49,665
Мы расстаемся!
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,700
Только попробуй расстаться сука, и я тебя убью!
00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:54,700
Ты не можешь так обращаться с людьми!
00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:58,217
Я сказал закрой рот сука!
00:15:58,252 --> 00:16:01,665
Почему я это сделал, ха?
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:06,700
Держи пасть закрытой и веди себя тихо!
00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:08,717
Джимми, что там...?
00:16:08,752 --> 00:16:10,726
Господи, Джимми!
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,700
Отъебись тупая сука!
00:16:14,735 --> 00:16:19,700
Нет! Боже!
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:32,000
Приветствуем каждого на
Специальных Олимпийских Играх 2004!
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,000
У нас будут разные соревнования,
00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:39,965
и в конце дня мы узнаем,
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:45,000
кто станет чемпионом и обладателем
приза в тысячу долларов!
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:47,965
Чемпионом, да-а-а!
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,965
Тысяча долларов, да-а-а!
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:56,000
Позвольте объявить наши игры открытыми!
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Итак первые соревнования
"Бег на 100 метровую дистанцию".
00:17:03,035 --> 00:17:08,000
Окей, все готовы? Займите свои места.
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
По моему знаку...
00:17:10,335 --> 00:17:11,617
Внимание, марш!
00:17:15,052 --> 00:17:19,000
Стоп. Что за черт?
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Итак, отлично в тройке победителей
номер 6, 2 и 4.
00:17:28,035 --> 00:17:32,017
Супер!
Отлично! Я сделала это!
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:36,000
Надо позже надрать им задницу.
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,965
Да-а-а! Да-а-а-а!
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Удивительно! Установлен новый
рекорд Олимпийских игр!
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,000
Отстой!
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Победитель - Джимми Валмер!
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Хорошо тут я могу победить.
00:18:19,035 --> 00:18:22,000
Я вам покажу тупые калеки!
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Черт побери!
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,500
Очередной рекорд игр побит!
00:18:42,535 --> 00:18:46,000
Да-а-а, да-а-а я сделал это!
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,000
Дамы и господа, наши соревнования
подошли к концу
00:18:52,035 --> 00:18:55,965
и у нас есть чемпион 2004!
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,965
Вручат награды легенды бейсбола
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Марк Макгир, Джейсон Джиамби, и Барри Бондс.
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
Чемпионом 2004 года стал...
00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:09,965
Джимми Волмер!
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Да-а-а! Ебитесь в рот, да-а-а! Да-а-а!
00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:16,000
Я сделал это! Я л-л-лучший!
00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:17,965
Поздравления Джимми.
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Но мы все знаем что в наших
соревнованиях никто не проигрывает.
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:26,000
Итак, вручим вознаграждение
человеку который пришел последним:
00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:29,017
Эрик Картман!
00:19:29,052 --> 00:19:31,965
Мерзкие хиппи!
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Для поднятия духа эрик получает подарочный
купон на 50 долларов от магазина Шоккей!
00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:39,965
Подходите Эрик!
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Да клал я на ваш Шаккей... Хотя...
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Что черт возьми ты здесь делаешь Эрик?
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,965
Ты ебарь претворился инвалидом?
00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:00,000
Я сейчас надеру тебе задницу
паршивый мошенник!
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,965
Что?
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,000
О мой боже. Ты прав Тимми.
00:20:09,035 --> 00:20:12,517
Ты абсолютно прав.
00:20:12,552 --> 00:20:15,965
Я требую внимания?
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,500
Я должен отдать свою медаль.
00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:23,000
Я играл нечестно и употреблял...
00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:24,965
Стероиды.
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,965
Я хотел быть лучшим
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,965
и стероиды заставили меня
сделать больно подруге.
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,965
Друг пытался отговорить меня от этого, но я не слушал его.
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:39,000
Использование стероидов - все равно
что претворяться инвалидом на этих играх.
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:41,965
В справедливой игре
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,000
если побеждаешь изза стероидов,
то ты не победитель.
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:45,965
Ты просто п.. зда.
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,965
Большая ж-ж-ж-ж-ирная п... зда
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,000
и если вы употребляете стероиды, единственная
приличная вещь которую надо сделать
00:20:53,035 --> 00:20:57,000
"удалить меня из книги рекордов потому что я большая вонючая п... зда"
00:20:57,035 --> 00:20:59,965
"пожирающий стероиды осел"
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,000
поэтому я должен отказаться от этой медали
00:21:03,035 --> 00:21:04,965
и моего места в книге рекордов.
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
И если позволите я вернусь в следующем году.
00:21:07,035 --> 00:21:12,000
Соревноваться честно.
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Эй ребенок, ты хорош для
того чтобы быть честным.
00:21:16,035 --> 00:21:16,965
Хорошо парни..
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,965
Теперь вы поняли зачем я все это придумал.
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,000
Я притворился инвалидом и проиграл
Специальные Олимпийские Игры нарочно,
00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:29,000
чтобы Джимми усвоил урок о стероидах.
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:31,965
Так?
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
А вы парни жопы!
00:21:34,035 --> 00:21:35,965
Драные!
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:42,000
с конструктивной критикой перевода
на e-mail: xploid@nm. ru ICQ 122002075
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