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Обратная сторона стероидов
Up the Down Steroid
Сезон: 08Серия: 02
Описание
Джимми и Тимми участвуют в специальных олимпийских играх. Чтобы выиграть, Джимми принимает стероиды, а Картман притворяется умственно отсталым, чтобы участвовать и выиграть приз.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,484 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,204 Hey, fellas.
- 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,372 Oh, hey, Jimmy. Hey, Timmy.
- 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,540 Timmy!
- 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,167 Say, fellas, Timmy and I were wondering
- 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,335 if maybe you would come and cheer for us next S-Saturday.
- 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,378 We're both competing
- 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,255 in the Special Olympics down in Denver.
- 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,507 The <i>Special</i> Olympics? What's so special about them?
- 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,634 They're Olympic Games for handicapped people.
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,927 What?
- 00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,221 Timmy and I are competing in a variety of events.
- 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,890 Yeah, sure. We'll come cheer you and Timmy on.
- 00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,767 - Yeah. That'd be cool. - Thanks a lot, fellas.
- 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,227 Well, we got to get to the training center and start working out.
- 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,688 Word is we have a lot of stiff competition this year.
- 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,315 All right. See you on Saturday, guys.
- 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,108 Timmy!
- 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,027 Dude, I can't believe they exploit
- 00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,278 handicapped people like this.
- 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,363 I mean, making them compete against each other
- 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,365 just for our amusement.
- 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,867 You're an asshole, Cartman.
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,202 What? What'd I do?
- 00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:22,333 S-Six.
- 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,334 Timmy.
- 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,461 S-S-Seven!
- 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,505 Timmy. Timmy!
- 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,964 S-S-Seven!
- 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,008 Timmy! Timmy!
- 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,259 I ca-- I can't!
- 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,428 Oh, man.
- 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,846 Gee whiz, Timmy.
- 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,640 It looks like we have some pretty stiff competition
- 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,474 this year.
- 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,604 All the special athletes seem to be in tip-top condition,
- 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,898 and I can't even get past seven r-reps.
- 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,525 Well, that's it for me, Timmy.
- 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,859 I'm p-p-p-pooped.
- 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,194 I'll see you in the locker room.
- 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,779 Timmy!
- 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,031 Hey, Jimmy, good luck on Saturday.
- 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,033 You too, Francis.
- 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,285 Hey, Jimmy.
- 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,079 Oh, h-hey, Nathan.
- 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,165 So, uh, I see you're training pretty hard.
- 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,250 Yeah. It sure is tough.
- 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,376 I'm training really hard,
- 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:06,627 but I'm not improving fast enough,
- 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,379 and the Special Olympics are a week away.
- 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,965 Well...maybe I can help you out.
- 00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,552 You know, there are...shortcuts.
- 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,512 What kind of shortcuts?
- 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,264 You know.
- 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,473 Steroids.
- 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:24,395 S-S-S-S-Steroids?
- 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,442 But aren't those illegal?
- 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,403 Yeah, sure. But these are new.
- 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,698 They don't show up in a urine test.
- 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,576 So, uh, how do they w-work?
- 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,245 You just take one of these little blue babies
- 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,663 three times a day
- 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,125 and inject this directly into your bloodstream
- 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,752 twice a day before meals.
- 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,588 How much would this cost me?
- 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,173 Uh, it isn't cheap.
- 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758 I've got to keep vice off my back
- 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:57,553 and secure shipments from overseas.
- 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:02,349 Well, m-maybe I'll just use them a-a little bit --
- 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,560 you know, as a performance enhancer.
- 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,646 Whatever you say, Jimmy, my friend.
- 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,523 Whatever you say.
- 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,775 - Vrr! Vrr! - Beep-beep!
- 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,277 - Beep-beep! - Mrph! Mrph!
- 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,697 You guys! You guys! I have the best idea ever!
- 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,699 - I'm gonna be rich! - What?
- 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,826 Dude, I was looking at the Special Olympics brochure,
- 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,161 and check this shit out.
- 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,829 "At the end of the Special Olympics,
- 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,248 a grand champion special athlete is crowned
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,419 and given a cash prize of $1,000."
- 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:32,379 So?
- 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,673 So?! So, dude, think about it.
- 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,926 If somebody just pretended to be mentally handicapped,
- 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,594 they could easily win the competition
- 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,887 and get the thousand bucks!
- 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,889 Oh, no. Cartman, no!
- 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:42,890 It's flawless!
- 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,225 I'll act like I have a disability,
- 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,517 and when the time comes to compete,
- 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,228 I'll kick ass against all the handicapped!
- 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,355 That's really, really terrible, dude.
- 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,397 Terrible?! Whatever.
- 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,899 You guys' brains just can't compute
- 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,150 complex plans like mine can.
- 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,610 It'll work. You'll see.
- 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,987 Cartman, I will not stand by
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,531 and let you cheat your way to winning the Special Olympics!
- 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,991 - Why? - Because!
- 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,660 What are you gonna do, Kyle, tell on me?
- 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,036 Then you'll be a great big, no-good,
- 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,454 double-faced, poopy-pants tattletale.
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,623 Is that really how you deal with your problems?
- 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,333 Grow up, Kyle.
- 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,629 All I have to do is make people think I'm handicapped,
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,047 and I get $1,000.
- 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:18,300 It won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.
- 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,599 ♪ Push it to the limit ♪
- 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,434 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,562 ♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
- 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,814 ♪ Don't look down ♪
- 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:35,484 ♪ Just keep your head or you'll be finished ♪
- 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,115 ♪ Open up the limit ♪
- 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,783 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,744 ♪ Past the point of no return ♪
- 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,996 ♪ Reach the top ♪
- 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:51,667 ♪ But still you got to learn how to keep it ♪
- 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,215 ♪ Hit the wheel and double the stakes ♪
- 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,010 ♪ Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell ♪
- 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,220 ♪ You crash the gate ♪
- 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,308 ♪ Crash the gate ♪
- 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,477 ♪ Going for the back of beyond ♪
- 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,937 ♪ Nothing gonna stop you ♪
- 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,314 ♪ There's nothing that strong ♪
- 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,690 ♪ So close now ♪
- 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,444 ♪ You're nearly at the brink, so push it ♪
- 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,988 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
- 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:31,290 ♪ Welcome to the limi-i-i-i-t ♪
- 00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,001 - ♪ Push it to the limit ♪ - Duhrr! Duhrrrr!
- 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,837 I want to be in the Thpecial Olympicth.
- 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,298 Bull's-eye.
- 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,443 Uh! Uh, j-just a second!
- 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,487 Jimmy?
- 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,614 Hang on. I-I'm c-coming!
- 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,868 Jim, it's your father.
- 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,537 I said I'm coming! Give me a goddamn s-second.
- 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,629 Jimmy, were you masturbating?
- 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,255 N-No, Dad.
- 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,800 Okay. Well, you have a visitor.
- 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:23,801 Hi, Jimmy.
- 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,387 Oh. Hi, N-N-Nancy.
- 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,430 I was hoping we could study for the spelling test tomorrow.
- 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,057 Oh, sure thing. Come on in.
- 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,017 I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Jim.
- 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,143 Yeah, Dad. We've been going out
- 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,603 since we met in free period last week.
- 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,772 I'll leave you two alone.
- 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,941 You sure you weren't masturbating, Jim?
- 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,275 It's okay if you were.
- 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,902 Dad! Jesus C-Christ!
- 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,404 Okay, then.
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,741 Mrph!
- 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,493 Duhhh-ee!
- 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,620 Duhhh!
- 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,372 Hey, guys. What's going on?
- 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,040 Duhhh!
- 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,418 God damn you.
- 00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,710 You see, gentlemen,
- 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,130 the Special Olympics championship and my $1,000
- 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,256 is just four days away.
- 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,757 I'm going to go sign up now.
- 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883 No, you're not.
- 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,135 I read the brochure, Cartman.
- 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,262 If you're under 18, you have to have a parent with you
- 00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,180 to sign up for the Special Olympics.
- 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,640 What?
- 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,476 It says right there a parent has to be with you to sign up,
- 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,978 and you'll never get your mom to agree
- 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,522 to something so horrible, so ha!
- 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,820 Mo-o-o-m?
- 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:25,946 Yes, hon?
- 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,283 Um, could I get you to do something for me?
- 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,742 What's that, hon?
- 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,704 Um, okay, this is going to sound a little strange,
- 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,581 um, but stick with me.
- 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,835 Um, Mo-o-o-m... would you mind coming with me
- 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,420 to sign up for the Special Olympics
- 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:45,507 so I can beat all the handicapped kids and win $1,000?
- 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,301 Oh. No, sweetie.
- 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:51,138 I believe those Olympics are just for special children.
- 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:52,389 I'm not special?
- 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,224 I thought you always said I was special.
- 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:58,812 You are, hon, but I don't think that's a very good idea.
- 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,900 I'll split the money with you.
- 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,570 I'm sorry, Eric. The answer is no.
- 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,118 All right, Mom. Look.
- 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,578 Here's the truth.
- 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,748 God, this is gonna be hard to say.
- 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,500 I think, Mom, that I've been hard
- 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,960 on some of the handicapped kids at school in the past.
- 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,921 I've sometimes looked at people with disabilities
- 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,632 as people God put here on earth for my amusement, but...
- 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,342 now I'm starting to think,
- 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,761 if I could just spend one day in their shoes,
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,931 if I could just see the challenges they face every day,
- 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,350 maybe I wouldn't be so cold.
- 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,644 I just want a chance to change.
- 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,438 Help me change?
- 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,316 Oh, a-all right, sweetie.
- 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,318 I-I'll take you tomorrow.
- 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,070 Awesome.
- 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,698 You did a great job in the 500, Timmy.
- 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,534 You're really imp-p-roving.
- 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,701 Timmy!
- 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,911 I think I've got a shot at the gold
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,954 in the swimming competition.
- 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,664 Coach says I'm the fastest he's ever seen.
- 00:08:58,789 --> 00:08:59,957 I'll see you bright and early
- 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,166 for p-practice tomorrow, Tim-Tim.
- 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876 Oh, hey, could you hand me my bag?
- 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,336 Timmy!
- 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,429 T-Timmy?
- 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,139 Oh, uh...so, hey, Timmy,
- 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,684 h-how about we go out for a d-doughnut later?
- 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,940 I'll, uh, I'll see you later, Tim-Tim.
- 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,484 Timmy.
- 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,113 Look, it's really none of your b-b-b-beeswax, Timmy.
- 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,281 Timmy.
- 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,532 Timmy!
- 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,578 Because maybe I don't have what it takes to win w-without them!
- 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,747 Timmy.
- 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,749 Ti-- T-Timmy.
- 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,377 You -- You aren't gonna t-tell anybody, are you?
- 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,296 Timmy! T-Timmy!
- 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,257 Look, it's my b-body, and it's my choice what I put in it!
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,593 Timmy. Timmy, Jimmy!
- 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,469 Ah, Timmy! Jimmy!
- 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,847 Don't lecture me on the complexities of sportsmanship.
- 00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,932 You know as well as I do most of the kids in Special Olympics
- 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,100 are shooting up to compete.
- 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,685 I'm just trying to k-keep up.
- 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,812 Huh.
- 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,273 Timmy...Timmy.
- 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,566 S-So, what are you gonna do now, huh?
- 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,527 You gonna be a fucking narc and show that bottle to the coaches?
- 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,787 Don't think you're any better than me, Timmy!
- 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,956 I'm just living in the real world!
- 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,835 Fuck!
- 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,798 Timmy!
- 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,302 Hyah! Timmy!
- 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,430 All right! Thirty yards, Timmy! Keep it up!
- 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,599 Aah, Timmy! Liv-a-la!
- 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,768 Hyah!
- 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,731 Wow! Jimmy, I can't believe how much you've improved!
- 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,442 You're bigger and stronger than I've ever seen you!
- 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,486 Yeah. I've been working out r-really hard.
- 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,695 You keep going like this,
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,740 and you'll break Special Olympic records on Saturday!
- 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,203 Okay. So this is all the stuff we need to sign Michael in?
- 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,205 Yep. Just take the sign-up sheet to the next table,
- 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,581 and they'll get it all finalized.
- 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,874 Thank you very much.
- 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,542 Thank you. Good luck, Michael!
- 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,460 Thanks!
- 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,753 Okay, Next in line, please.
- 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,714 Duhhhhh! Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,965 Hello there.
- 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:14,966 Hello.
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,136 Um, I would like to sign my son up, please.
- 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,138 Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,640 Oh, great. What's his name?
- 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,392 Eric Cartman.
- 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:24,893 Cartman!
- 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,770 Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,897 Okay. Age?
- 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:29,815 He's 9.
- 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:30,857 Okay.
- 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,442 And what's his disability?
- 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,445 Um, he's retarded.
- 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,700 No. I'm asking what his specific condition is --
- 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,451 Down syndrome, cerebral palsy?
- 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,246 Oh. Oh, I'm not sure.
- 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,666 Sweetie, what is your condition?
- 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,459 How should I know? I'm retarded.
- 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,253 Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,048 I'll just leave that blank for now.
- 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,930 Yeah. B-bigger. S-Stronger.
- 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,152 Oh, hi, Timmy. Come on in.
- 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,070 I understand you have something important
- 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,156 you want to talk to me about, m'kay.
- 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,617 Timmy.
- 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,202 Well, Timmy, as your counselor,
- 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,038 I want you to know that you can tell me anything, m'kay.
- 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,999 And whatever is troubling you, I want to try and --
- 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,375 and help you with it.
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,130 Timmy.
- 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,884 M-M'kay. Right. You're Timmy.
- 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,552 Y-You have a problem?
- 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,221 No, not Timmy! Jimmy.
- 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,682 J-Jimmy?
- 00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,102 Oh! Oh!
- 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,355 Jimmy!
- 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,358 Oh, Jimmy Valmer. Oh, okay. What about him?
- 00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,986 Timmy! Timmy, Jimmy!
- 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,070 Here Jimmy.
- 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,864 Timmy! Ti-- Oh! T-Timmy?
- 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,616 Timmy?
- 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,911 Jimmy! Jimmy -- Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
- 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:06,995 Timmy, Timmy!
- 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,664 Jimmy. Jimmy, Jimmy, Timmy!
- 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,500 Timmy!
- 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,505 Mmm'kay.
- 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,382 I don't quite follow, Timmy.
- 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,427 Jimmy...
- 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,678 Right. Jimmy Valmer.
- 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,014 Ah, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim--
- 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,516 Thhh!
- 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,811 Jimmy, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy!
- 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,938 Right. He's Jimmy. Yeah.
- 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,773 Aah!
- 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,944 "How I Will Spend My One Thousand Dollars,"
- 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,737 by Eric Cartman.
- 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,241 Enter.
- 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,336 Cartman, I really, really have a problem
- 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,420 with what you're doing.
- 00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:00,966 I object to it morally, and I find it grossly offensive.
- 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,430 Go on, Kyle.
- 00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,516 I know that I often have serious moral objections
- 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,226 to the things that you do, but...
- 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,520 this time I think you really need to reconsider.
- 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,356 Because if you do this, I believe you will go to hell.
- 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:19,067 So I feel it is my responsibility as your friend
- 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,279 to tell people what you're doing and to put a stop to it.
- 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,448 Well, Kyle, I understand where you're coming from,
- 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,367 and I appreciate your being so direct.
- 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,119 Um, the thing is, you really have
- 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,746 kind of a warped view on morality because you're Jewish.
- 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,248 Now, Kyle, you haven't gone to see
- 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,000 Mel Gibson's film "The Passion," but --
- 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,085 I didn't come here to talk about "The Passion," Cartman.
- 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,086 Let me finish.
- 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,754 If you had seen "The Passion," you would know
- 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,256 that hell is reserved for the Jews
- 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,924 and all those who don't accept Christ.
- 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,718 That being the case, it is actually <i>me</i>
- 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,052 who is worried about <i>your</i> soul.
- 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,596 I came here to talk about <i>you.</i>
- 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,638 Yes.
- 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,599 And instead, you had a breakthrough yourself.
- 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,892 This is really the beginning
- 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,643 of a whole new chapter of your life, Kyle.
- 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,145 Good luck.
- 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,998 Come on. Push it! Push it!
- 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,795 Yeah. Nice p-pecs.
- 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,839 Sweet b-biceps.
- 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,302 Jimmy, I thought we were meeting at the doughnut shop.
- 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,511 The games are in two days, Nancy.
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,472 I can't be w-wasting my time.
- 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,516 I guess I didn't realize I was a waste of time.
- 00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,311 Oh, Jesus. You gonna start running your mouth off again?
- 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,521 P-Push it. Push it!
- 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,398 Jimmy, everyone's worried about you.
- 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,858 You seem different.
- 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,485 T-They're all just jealous.
- 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,278 You're not the boy I fell in love with
- 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,655 last week during free period.
- 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,782 I'm leaving you.
- 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,283 You're not leaving me.
- 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,243 You try to leave me, and I'll kill you, bitch.
- 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995 You can't treat people like this!
- 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,290 I said shut your mouth, bitch!
- 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,042 Why did you make me do it, huh?
- 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,545 You're not leaving anybody!
- 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172 You just keep your g-goddamn mouth shut
- 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,299 and do as you're t-t-tol-- told!
- 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,301 Jimmy, what's the -- Jimmy!
- 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,719 - Oh, my God! - Oh, Jimmy!
- 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,848 Stay away from me, you stupid b-b-bitches!
- 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:30,532 Welcome, everyone, to the 2004 Special Olympics!
- 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,286 We will be holding various competitions throughout the day.
- 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,454 And at the end of it all,
- 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,666 we will have some very special celebrity athletes here
- 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,918 to present the trophy for top athlete,
- 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,547 along with a cash prize of $1,000.
- 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,632 Top athlete. Yeah.
- 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,676 $1,000. Yeah.
- 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,803 So let's have all our athletes report
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,682 to their first assigned events, and...let the games begin!
- 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,729 Will those athletes in heat one of the 100-meter dash
- 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,647 please report to track area B?
- 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,232 Okay, racers. Are we ready?
- 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,316 Take your marks!
- 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,403 Duhhh! Duhhh!
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,780 On your marks. Get set.
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,828 W-What the hell?!
- 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,463 Great job, everyone!
- 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,048 You three advance to the next heat.
- 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,549 - All right! - We did it!
- 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,677 Yeah. I guess I -- guess I just have to kick ass
- 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,262 in the other events.
- 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,691 Yeah!
- 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,110 Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,111 He's got it!
- 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,405 That's a new Special Olympics record, folks!
- 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,115 ♪ Push it to the limit ♪
- 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,034 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,120 ♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
- 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,455 - God damn it! - ♪ Don't look down ♪
- 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,000 ♪ Just keep your head or you'll be finished ♪
- 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,837 Winner -- Jimmy Valmer!
- 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,380 ♪ Open up the limit ♪
- 00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,549 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,469 ♪ Past the point of no return ♪
- 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,553 ♪ Reach the top ♪
- 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,764 All right. This one I can win. Here. Hold this.
- 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390 I'll show you goddamn retards.
- 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,439 ♪ Hit the wheel and double the stakes ♪
- 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,192 ♪ Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell ♪
- 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,027 - Ah, Timmy! - ♪ You crash the gate ♪
- 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,947 God damn it!
- 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:37,617 ♪ Welcome to the limit ♪
- 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,579 That's another Special Olympics record!
- 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,414 Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,834 Yeah! I did it! Yeah!
- 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,002 Yeah!
- 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,379 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,464 our day of competition has come to an end,
- 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:55,343 and we have an Ultimate Grand Special Champion for 2004.
- 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,096 Here to present the award are baseball legends
- 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:03,017 Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds!
- 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,648 The 2004 special athlete is... Jimmy Valmer!
- 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,942 Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
- 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,236 Yeah! I did it!
- 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,029 I'm the b-b-best!
- 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,698 Congratulations, Jimmy.
- 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,700 But we all know that the Special Olympics
- 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,118 isn't just about winning,
- 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,745 and so we will now give out the Spirit Award
- 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,373 to the handicapped person who came in very last --
- 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,708 Eric Cartman!
- 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,254 Aw, screw you, hippies!
- 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,881 For winning the Spirit Award,
- 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,551 Eric will receive this gift certificate to Shakey's for $50!
- 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,844 Come on up, Eric!
- 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,847 I can go to Shakey's.
- 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,600 Uh, duhhh! Duhh!
- 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,186 Dyee! Dyeee! Deh!
- 00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,355 Hey! Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Eric?
- 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,733 Uh... Uh, duh.
- 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,068 You f-faked being handicapped to win?!
- 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,737 I should k-kick your ass right here,
- 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,323 you lousy, no-good ch-ch-cheater!
- 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,575 Timmy.
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,618 What?
- 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,912 Timmy.
- 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,665 Oh, my God. Y-You're right, Timmy.
- 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,334 You're totally right.
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,922 Everyone, can I have your attention, p-please?
- 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,342 I'm afraid I have to give back my medal.
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,346 The truth is, I haven't been playing fair either.
- 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,723 I've been using s-s-steroids.
- 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,100 I was willing to do anything to be the best,
- 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,394 and the steroids made me blind to the people I was hurting.
- 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,313 A good friend even tried to talk me out of it,
- 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,689 and I wouldn't listen to him.
- 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,691 Timmy.
- 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,569 Taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped
- 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:37,904 at the Special Olympics,
- 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,615 because you're taking all the fairness out of the game.
- 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,909 But I know now that even if you do win on steroids,
- 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:43,952 you're really not a winner.
- 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,453 You're just a p-pussy.
- 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,456 You're just a big fat p-p-pussy.
- 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,540 And if you take steroids,
- 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,210 the only decent thing to do is come forward and say,
- 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,421 "Remove me from the record books because I am a big stinky
- 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:59,133 p-pussy, steroid-taking jackass."
- 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,927 That's how I feel about myself
- 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,303 and why I must decline this medal
- 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,680 and my place in the history books.
- 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:04,889 And if you let me,
- 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,308 I'll be back next year to compete with honor.
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,566 Hey, kid, good for you for being honest.
- 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:20,029 Well, guys, I guess now you see what I was up to all along.
- 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,864 I dressed up like a handicapped person
- 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,783 and lost the Special Olympics on purpose
- 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,537 so that Jimmy could learn his lesson about steroids.
- 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,708 G-- Oh, yeah?!
- 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,918 Well -- Well, you guys are assholes!
- 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,712 Grow up!
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,484 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,204 Hey, fellas.
- 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:38,372 Oh, hey, Jimmy. Hey, Timmy.
- 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,540 Timmy!
- 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,167 Say, fellas, Timmy and I were wondering
- 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:43,335 if maybe you would come and cheer for us next S-Saturday.
- 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,378 We're both competing
- 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,255 in the Special Olympics down in Denver.
- 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,507 The <i>Special</i> Olympics? What's so special about them?
- 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,634 They're Olympic Games for handicapped people.
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,927 [ Chuckling ] What?
- 00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,221 Timmy and I are competing in a variety of events.
- 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,890 Yeah, sure. We'll come cheer you and Timmy on.
- 00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,767 - Yeah. That'd be cool. - Thanks a lot, fellas.
- 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,227 Well, we got to get to the training center and start working out.
- 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,688 Word is we have a lot of stiff competition this year.
- 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,315 All right. See you on Saturday, guys.
- 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,108 Timmy!
- 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,027 Dude, I can't believe they exploit
- 00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,278 handicapped people like this.
- 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,363 I mean, making them compete against each other
- 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,365 just for our amusement.
- 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:14,867 You're an asshole, Cartman.
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,202 What? What'd I do?
- 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,082 [ Grunting ]
- 00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:22,333 S-Six.
- 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,334 Timmy.
- 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,461 S-S-Seven!
- 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,505 Timmy. Timmy!
- 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,964 S-S-Seven!
- 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,008 Timmy! Timmy!
- 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,259 I ca-- I can't!
- 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,428 [ Grunts, sighs ] Oh, man.
- 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,846 Gee whiz, Timmy.
- 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,640 It looks like we have some pretty stiff competition
- 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,474 this year.
- 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,851 [ Laughing ]
- 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,604 All the special athletes seem to be in tip-top condition,
- 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,898 and I can't even get past seven r-reps.
- 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,525 [ Sighs ] Well, that's it for me, Timmy.
- 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,859 I'm p-p-p-pooped.
- 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,194 I'll see you in the locker room.
- 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,779 Timmy!
- 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,031 Hey, Jimmy, good luck on Saturday.
- 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,033 You too, Francis.
- 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,285 Hey, Jimmy.
- 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,079 Oh, h-hey, Nathan.
- 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,165 So, uh, I see you're training pretty hard.
- 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,250 Yeah. It sure is tough.
- 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,376 I'm training really hard,
- 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:06,627 but I'm not improving fast enough,
- 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,379 and the Special Olympics are a week away.
- 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,965 Well...maybe I can help you out.
- 00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,552 You know, there are...shortcuts.
- 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,512 What kind of shortcuts?
- 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,264 You know.
- 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,473 Steroids.
- 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,559 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:24,395 S-S-S-S-Steroids?
- 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:28,440 [ Grunting ]
- 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,442 But aren't those illegal?
- 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,403 Yeah, sure. But these are new.
- 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,698 They don't show up in a urine test.
- 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,576 So, uh, how do they w-work?
- 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,245 You just take one of these little blue babies
- 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,663 three times a day
- 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:46,125 and inject this directly into your bloodstream
- 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,752 twice a day before meals.
- 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,588 How much would this cost me?
- 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,173 Uh, it isn't cheap.
- 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758 I've got to keep vice off my back
- 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:57,553 and secure shipments from overseas.
- 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:02,349 Well, m-maybe I'll just use them a-a little bit --
- 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,560 you know, as a performance enhancer.
- 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,646 Whatever you say, Jimmy, my friend.
- 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,523 Whatever you say.
- 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,775 - Vrr! Vrr! - Beep-beep!
- 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,277 - Beep-beep! - Mrph! Mrph!
- 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,697 You guys! You guys! I have the best idea ever!
- 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,699 - I'm gonna be rich! - What?
- 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,826 Dude, I was looking at the Special Olympics brochure,
- 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,161 and check this shit out.
- 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,829 "At the end of the Special Olympics,
- 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,248 a grand champion special athlete is crowned
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:30,419 and given a cash prize of $1,000."
- 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:32,379 So?
- 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,673 So?! So, dude, think about it.
- 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,926 If somebody just pretended to be mentally handicapped,
- 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,594 they could easily win the competition
- 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,887 and get the thousand bucks!
- 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,889 Oh, no. Cartman, no!
- 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:42,890 It's flawless!
- 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,225 I'll act like I have a disability,
- 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,517 and when the time comes to compete,
- 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,228 I'll kick ass against all the handicapped!
- 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,355 That's really, really terrible, dude.
- 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,397 Terrible?! Whatever.
- 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,899 You guys' brains just can't compute
- 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,150 complex plans like mine can.
- 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,610 It'll work. You'll see.
- 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,987 Cartman, I will not stand by
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,531 and let you cheat your way to winning the Special Olympics!
- 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:00,991 - Why? - Because!
- 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,660 What are you gonna do, Kyle, tell on me?
- 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,036 Then you'll be a great big, no-good,
- 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,454 double-faced, poopy-pants tattletale.
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,623 Is that really how you deal with your problems?
- 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,333 Grow up, Kyle.
- 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,629 All I have to do is make people think I'm handicapped,
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,047 and I get $1,000.
- 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:18,300 It won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.
- 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,595 [ Paul Engemann's "Push It to the Limit" plays ]
- 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,599 ♪ Push it to the limit ♪
- 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,434 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,562 ♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
- 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,814 ♪ Don't look down ♪
- 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:35,484 ♪ Just keep your head or you'll be finished ♪
- 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,115 ♪ Open up the limit ♪
- 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,783 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,744 ♪ Past the point of no return ♪
- 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:46,996 ♪ Reach the top ♪
- 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:51,667 ♪ But still you got to learn how to keep it ♪
- 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,215 ♪ Hit the wheel and double the stakes ♪
- 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,010 ♪ Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell ♪
- 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,220 ♪ You crash the gate ♪
- 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,308 ♪ Crash the gate ♪
- 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,477 ♪ Going for the back of beyond ♪
- 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,937 ♪ Nothing gonna stop you ♪
- 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,314 ♪ There's nothing that strong ♪
- 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,690 ♪ So close now ♪
- 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,444 ♪ You're nearly at the brink, so push it ♪
- 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,988 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪
- 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:31,290 ♪ Welcome to the limi-i-i-i-t ♪
- 00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,001 - ♪ Push it to the limit ♪ - Duhrr! Duhrrrr!
- 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,837 I want to be in the Thpecial Olympicth.
- 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,298 Bull's-eye.
- 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,135 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,269 [ Grunting ]
- 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,898 [ Knock on door ]
- 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,443 Uh! Uh, j-just a second!
- 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,487 - [ Knocking continues ] - JIMMY'S DAD: Jimmy?
- 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,614 Hang on. I-I'm c-coming!
- 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,868 Jim, it's your father.
- 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:10,537 I said I'm coming! Give me a goddamn s-second.
- 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:13,374 [ Grunts, spits ]
- 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,629 Jimmy, were you masturbating?
- 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,255 N-No, Dad.
- 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,800 Okay. Well, you have a visitor.
- 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:23,801 Hi, Jimmy.
- 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,387 Oh. Hi, N-N-Nancy.
- 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,430 I was hoping we could study for the spelling test tomorrow.
- 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,057 Oh, sure thing. Come on in.
- 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,017 I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Jim.
- 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,143 Yeah, Dad. We've been going out
- 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,603 since we met in free period last week.
- 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,772 I'll leave you two alone.
- 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,941 You sure you weren't masturbating, Jim?
- 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,275 It's okay if you were.
- 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,902 Dad! Jesus C-Christ!
- 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,404 Okay, then.
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,741 Mrph!
- 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,493 Duhhh-ee!
- 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,620 Duhhh!
- 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,372 Hey, guys. What's going on?
- 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,040 Duhhh!
- 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,418 God damn you.
- 00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,710 You see, gentlemen,
- 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,130 the Special Olympics championship and my $1,000
- 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,256 is just four days away.
- 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,757 I'm going to go sign up now.
- 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883 No, you're not.
- 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,135 I read the brochure, Cartman.
- 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,262 If you're under 18, you have to have a parent with you
- 00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,180 to sign up for the Special Olympics.
- 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,640 What?
- 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,476 It says right there a parent has to be with you to sign up,
- 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,978 and you'll never get your mom to agree
- 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,522 to something so horrible, so ha!
- 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,820 Mo-o-o-m?
- 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:25,946 Yes, hon?
- 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:29,283 Um, could I get you to do something for me?
- 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,742 What's that, hon?
- 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,704 Um, okay, this is going to sound a little strange,
- 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,581 um, but stick with me.
- 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,835 Um, Mo-o-o-m... would you mind coming with me
- 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,420 to sign up for the Special Olympics
- 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:45,507 so I can beat all the handicapped kids and win $1,000?
- 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,301 Oh. No, sweetie.
- 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:51,138 I believe those Olympics are just for special children.
- 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:52,389 I'm not special?
- 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,224 I thought you always said I was special.
- 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:58,812 You are, hon, but I don't think that's a very good idea.
- 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,900 I'll split the money with you.
- 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,570 I'm sorry, Eric. The answer is no.
- 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,118 All right, Mom. Look.
- 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,578 Here's the truth.
- 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,748 God, this is gonna be hard to say.
- 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,500 I think, Mom, that I've been hard
- 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,960 on some of the handicapped kids at school in the past.
- 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,921 I've sometimes looked at people with disabilities
- 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,632 as people God put here on earth for my amusement, but...
- 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,342 now I'm starting to think,
- 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,761 if I could just spend one day in their shoes,
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:33,931 if I could just see the challenges they face every day,
- 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,350 maybe I wouldn't be so cold.
- 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,644 I just want a chance to change.
- 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,438 Help me change?
- 00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,316 Oh, a-all right, sweetie.
- 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,318 I-I'll take you tomorrow.
- 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,070 Awesome.
- 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,698 You did a great job in the 500, Timmy.
- 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,534 You're really imp-p-roving.
- 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,701 Timmy!
- 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,911 I think I've got a shot at the gold
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,954 in the swimming competition.
- 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,664 Coach says I'm the fastest he's ever seen.
- 00:08:58,789 --> 00:08:59,957 I'll see you bright and early
- 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,166 for p-practice tomorrow, Tim-Tim.
- 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876 Oh, hey, could you hand me my bag?
- 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,336 Timmy!
- 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,429 T-Timmy?
- 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,139 Oh, uh...so, hey, Timmy,
- 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,684 h-how about we go out for a d-doughnut later?
- 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,940 I'll, uh, I'll see you later, Tim-Tim.
- 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,484 - Timmy. - [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,113 Look, it's really none of your b-b-b-beeswax, Timmy.
- 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,281 Timmy.
- 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,532 Timmy!
- 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,578 Because maybe I don't have what it takes to win w-without them!
- 00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:39,371 [ Sighs ]
- 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,747 Timmy.
- 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,749 Ti-- T-Timmy.
- 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,377 You -- You aren't gonna t-tell anybody, are you?
- 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,296 Timmy! T-Timmy!
- 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,257 Look, it's my b-body, and it's my choice what I put in it!
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,593 Timmy. Timmy, Jimmy!
- 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,469 Ah, Timmy! Jimmy!
- 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,847 Don't lecture me on the complexities of sportsmanship.
- 00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,932 You know as well as I do most of the kids in Special Olympics
- 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,100 are shooting up to compete.
- 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,685 I'm just trying to k-keep up.
- 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,812 Huh.
- 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,273 Timmy...Timmy.
- 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,566 S-So, what are you gonna do now, huh?
- 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,527 You gonna be a fucking narc and show that bottle to the coaches?
- 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,990 [ Pills rattle ]
- 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,451 [ Music continues ]
- 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,787 Don't think you're any better than me, Timmy!
- 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,956 I'm just living in the real world!
- 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,835 Fuck!
- 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,798 Timmy!
- 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,302 Hyah! Timmy!
- 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,430 All right! Thirty yards, Timmy! Keep it up!
- 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,599 Aah, Timmy! Liv-a-la!
- 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,768 Hyah!
- 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,478 [ Grunts ]
- 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,731 Wow! Jimmy, I can't believe how much you've improved!
- 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,442 You're bigger and stronger than I've ever seen you!
- 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,486 Yeah. I've been working out r-really hard.
- 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:53,695 You keep going like this,
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,740 and you'll break Special Olympic records on Saturday!
- 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:01,203 Okay. So this is all the stuff we need to sign Michael in?
- 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,205 Yep. Just take the sign-up sheet to the next table,
- 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,581 and they'll get it all finalized.
- 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,874 Thank you very much.
- 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,542 Thank you. Good luck, Michael!
- 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,460 Thanks!
- 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,753 Okay, Next in line, please.
- 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,714 Duhhhhh! Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,965 Hello there.
- 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:14,966 Hello.
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,136 Um, I would like to sign my son up, please.
- 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,138 Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,640 Oh, great. What's his name?
- 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,392 Eric Cartman.
- 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:24,893 Cartman!
- 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,770 Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,897 Okay. Age?
- 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:29,815 He's 9.
- 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:30,857 Okay.
- 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,442 And what's his disability?
- 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,445 Um, he's retarded.
- 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,700 No. I'm asking what his specific condition is --
- 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,451 Down syndrome, cerebral palsy?
- 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,246 Oh. Oh, I'm not sure.
- 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,666 Sweetie, what is your condition?
- 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,459 How should I know? I'm retarded.
- 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,253 Duhhhhh!
- 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,048 I'll just leave that blank for now.
- 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,426 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,930 Yeah. B-bigger. S-Stronger.
- 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,771 [ Sighs ]
- 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,152 Oh, hi, Timmy. Come on in.
- 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,070 I understand you have something important
- 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,156 you want to talk to me about, m'kay.
- 00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:22,617 [ Sighing ] Timmy.
- 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,202 Well, Timmy, as your counselor,
- 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,038 I want you to know that you can tell me anything, m'kay.
- 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,999 And whatever is troubling you, I want to try and --
- 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,375 and help you with it.
- 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,502 [ Sighs ]
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,130 Timmy.
- 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,884 M-M'kay. Right. You're Timmy.
- 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,552 Y-You have a problem?
- 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,221 No, not Timmy! Jimmy.
- 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,682 J-Jimmy?
- 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,184 [ Groans ]
- 00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,102 Oh! Oh!
- 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,355 Jimmy!
- 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,358 Oh, Jimmy Valmer. Oh, okay. What about him?
- 00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:57,986 Timmy! Timmy, Jimmy!
- 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,070 Here Jimmy.
- 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,864 Timmy! Ti-- Oh! T-Timmy?
- 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,616 Timmy?
- 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,911 Jimmy! Jimmy -- Timmy, Timmy, Timmy.
- 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:06,995 Timmy, Timmy!
- 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,664 Jimmy. Jimmy, Jimmy, Timmy!
- 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,500 Timmy!
- 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,505 Mmm'kay.
- 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,382 I don't quite follow, Timmy.
- 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,176 [ Grunts ]
- 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,427 Jimmy...
- 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,678 Right. Jimmy Valmer.
- 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,014 [ Soft voice ] Ah, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim--
- 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,516 Thhh!
- 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,811 [ Gruff voice ] Jimmy, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy!
- 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,938 Right. He's Jimmy. Yeah.
- 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,773 Aah!
- 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,944 "How I Will Spend My One Thousand Dollars,"
- 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,737 by Eric Cartman.
- 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,405 [ Knock on door ]
- 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,241 Enter.
- 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,336 Cartman, I really, really have a problem
- 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,420 with what you're doing.
- 00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:00,966 I object to it morally, and I find it grossly offensive.
- 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:07,430 Go on, Kyle.
- 00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,516 I know that I often have serious moral objections
- 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,226 to the things that you do, but...
- 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,520 this time I think you really need to reconsider.
- 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,356 Because if you do this, I believe you will go to hell.
- 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:19,067 So I feel it is my responsibility as your friend
- 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,279 to tell people what you're doing and to put a stop to it.
- 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,448 Well, Kyle, I understand where you're coming from,
- 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,367 and I appreciate your being so direct.
- 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,119 Um, the thing is, you really have
- 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,746 kind of a warped view on morality because you're Jewish.
- 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,248 Now, Kyle, you haven't gone to see
- 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,000 Mel Gibson's film "The Passion," but --
- 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,085 I didn't come here to talk about "The Passion," Cartman.
- 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,086 Let me finish.
- 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,754 If you had seen "The Passion," you would know
- 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,256 that hell is reserved for the Jews
- 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,924 and all those who don't accept Christ.
- 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,718 That being the case, it is actually <i>me</i>
- 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,052 who is worried about <i>your</i> soul.
- 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,596 I came here to talk about <i>you.</i>
- 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,638 Yes.
- 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,599 And instead, you had a breakthrough yourself.
- 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,892 This is really the beginning
- 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,643 of a whole new chapter of your life, Kyle.
- 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,145 Good luck.
- 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,951 [ Humming ]
- 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,121 [ Grunting ]
- 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,998 Come on. Push it! Push it!
- 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,795 Yeah. Nice p-pecs.
- 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,839 Sweet b-biceps.
- 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,302 Jimmy, I thought we were meeting at the doughnut shop.
- 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,511 The games are in two days, Nancy.
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,472 I can't be w-wasting my time.
- 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,516 I guess I didn't realize I was a waste of time.
- 00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:36,311 Oh, Jesus. You gonna start running your mouth off again?
- 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,521 P-Push it. Push it!
- 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,398 Jimmy, everyone's worried about you.
- 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,858 You seem different.
- 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,485 T-They're all just jealous.
- 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,278 You're not the boy I fell in love with
- 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,655 last week during free period.
- 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,782 I'm leaving you.
- 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,283 You're not leaving me.
- 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,243 You try to leave me, and I'll kill you, bitch.
- 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995 You can't treat people like this!
- 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,290 - I said shut your mouth, bitch! - [ Grunts, screams ]
- 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,042 Why did you make me do it, huh?
- 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,961 [ Grunting ]
- 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,545 You're not leaving anybody!
- 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,172 You just keep your g-goddamn mouth shut
- 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,299 and do as you're t-t-tol-- told!
- 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,301 Jimmy, what's the -- Jimmy!
- 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,719 - Oh, my God! - Oh, Jimmy!
- 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:13,848 Stay away from me, you stupid b-b-bitches!
- 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,059 [ Grunts, sobs ]
- 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,403 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:30,532 Welcome, everyone, to the 2004 Special Olympics!
- 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,286 We will be holding various competitions throughout the day.
- 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,454 And at the end of it all,
- 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,666 we will have some very special celebrity athletes here
- 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,918 to present the trophy for top athlete,
- 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,547 along with a cash prize of $1,000.
- 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,632 Top athlete. Yeah.
- 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,676 $1,000. Yeah.
- 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,803 So let's have all our athletes report
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,682 to their first assigned events, and...let the games begin!
- 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,143 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,729 MAN: Will those athletes in heat one of the 100-meter dash
- 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,647 please report to track area B?
- 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,232 Okay, racers. Are we ready?
- 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,316 Take your marks!
- 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:08,403 Duhhh! Duhhh!
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,780 On your marks. Get set.
- 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,574 [ Gunshot, crowd cheering ]
- 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,325 [ Panting ]
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,828 W-What the hell?! [ Panting ]
- 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,084 [ Panting, coughing ]
- 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,253 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,463 Great job, everyone!
- 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,048 You three advance to the next heat.
- 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,549 - All right! - We did it!
- 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,717 [ Panting ]
- 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,677 Yeah. I guess I -- guess I just have to kick ass
- 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,262 in the other events.
- 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,515 [ "Push It to the Limit" plays ]
- 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,726 [ Gurgling ]
- 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,148 [ Grunting ]
- 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,691 Yeah!
- 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:47,859 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,110 Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,111 MAN: He's got it!
- 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,405 That's a new Special Olympics record, folks!
- 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,115 ♪ Push it to the limit ♪
- 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,034 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,120 ♪ Walk along the razor's edge ♪
- 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,455 - God damn it! - ♪ Don't look down ♪
- 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,000 ♪ Just keep your head or you'll be finished ♪
- 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,837 MAN: Winner -- Jimmy Valmer!
- 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,380 ♪ Open up the limit ♪
- 00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,549 ♪ The limit ♪
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,469 ♪ Past the point of no return ♪
- 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,553 ♪ Reach the top ♪
- 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,764 All right. This one I can win. Here. Hold this.
- 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,390 I'll show you goddamn retards.
- 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,684 [ Grunting ]
- 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,439 ♪ Hit the wheel and double the stakes ♪
- 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,192 ♪ Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell ♪
- 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,027 - Ah, Timmy! - ♪ You crash the gate ♪
- 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,112 [ Grunts ]
- 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,947 God damn it!
- 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:37,617 - [ Grunting ] - ♪ Welcome to the limit ♪
- 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,993 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,579 MAN: That's another Special Olympics record!
- 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,414 Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,834 Yeah! I did it! Yeah!
- 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,002 Yeah!
- 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,379 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,464 our day of competition has come to an end,
- 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:55,343 and we have an Ultimate Grand Special Champion for 2004.
- 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,096 Here to present the award are baseball legends
- 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:03,017 Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds!
- 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,894 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,648 The 2004 special athlete is... Jimmy Valmer!
- 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,942 Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
- 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,152 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,236 Yeah! I did it!
- 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,029 I'm the b-b-best!
- 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,698 Congratulations, Jimmy.
- 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,700 But we all know that the Special Olympics
- 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,118 isn't just about winning,
- 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,745 and so we will now give out the Spirit Award
- 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,373 to the handicapped person who came in very last --
- 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,708 Eric Cartman!
- 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,460 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,254 Aw, screw you, hippies!
- 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:32,881 For winning the Spirit Award,
- 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,551 Eric will receive this gift certificate to Shakey's for $50!
- 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,844 Come on up, Eric!
- 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,304 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,847 I can go to Shakey's.
- 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,600 Uh, duhhh! Duhh!
- 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,186 Dyee! Dyeee! Deh!
- 00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,355 Hey! Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Eric?
- 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,733 Uh...[ Chuckles ] Uh, duh.
- 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,068 You f-faked being handicapped to win?!
- 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,737 I should k-kick your ass right here,
- 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,323 you lousy, no-good ch-ch-cheater!
- 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,575 Timmy.
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,618 What?
- 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,912 Timmy.
- 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,665 Oh, my God. Y-You're right, Timmy.
- 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,334 You're totally right.
- 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,502 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,922 Everyone, can I have your attention, p-please?
- 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,342 I'm afraid I have to give back my medal.
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,346 The truth is, I haven't been playing fair either.
- 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,723 I've been using s-s-steroids.
- 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,100 I was willing to do anything to be the best,
- 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,394 and the steroids made me blind to the people I was hurting.
- 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,313 A good friend even tried to talk me out of it,
- 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,689 and I wouldn't listen to him.
- 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,691 Timmy.
- 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,569 Taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped
- 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:37,904 at the Special Olympics,
- 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,615 because you're taking all the fairness out of the game.
- 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,909 But I know now that even if you do win on steroids,
- 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:43,952 you're really not a winner.
- 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,453 You're just a p-pussy.
- 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,456 You're just a big fat p-p-pussy.
- 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,540 And if you take steroids,
- 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:52,210 the only decent thing to do is come forward and say,
- 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,421 "Remove me from the record books because I am a big stinky
- 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:59,133 p-pussy, steroid-taking jackass."
- 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,927 That's how I feel about myself
- 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,303 and why I must decline this medal
- 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,680 and my place in the history books.
- 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:04,889 And if you let me,
- 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,308 I'll be back next year to compete with honor.
- 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,476 [Applause ]
- 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,562 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,566 Hey, kid, good for you for being honest.
- 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:20,029 Well, guys, I guess now you see what I was up to all along.
- 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,864 I dressed up like a handicapped person
- 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,783 and lost the Special Olympics on purpose
- 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,537 so that Jimmy could learn his lesson about steroids.
- 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,708 G-- Oh, yeah?!
- 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,918 Well -- Well, you guys are assholes!
- 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:35,712 Grow up!
- 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,600 Перевод осуществлен xPLOID'ом e- mail: xploid@nm. ru
- 00:00:24,635 --> 00:00:27,600 www. xploid. liveinternet. ru
- 00:00:27,635 --> 00:00:32,600 Серия 803: Стероиды
- 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,565 Эй пацаны!
- 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,565 О, привет Джимми, привет Тимми.
- 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,600 Слушайте, я хотел спросить. Вы пойдете и поболеете за нас в эту субботу.
- 00:00:43,635 --> 00:00:46,117 Мы оба учавствуем в Специальных Олимпийских играх близ Денвера.
- 00:00:46,152 --> 00:00:48,600 Специальные Олимпийские Игры? Что в них такого специального?
- 00:00:48,635 --> 00:00:50,600 Это Олимпийские игры для инвалидов.
- 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:51,565 И что?
- 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,600 Тимми и я соревнуемся в парных дисциплинах.
- 00:00:54,635 --> 00:00:55,600 Да мы придем поболеть за вас с Тимми.
- 00:00:55,635 --> 00:00:56,617 Да это круто!
- 00:00:56,652 --> 00:00:57,565 Большое спасибо.
- 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,600 Мы пошли в тренажерный зал, Нам надо тренироваться.
- 00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:02,565 В этом году мы должны победить.
- 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,100 Хорошо, хорошо. Увидимся в субботу парни.
- 00:01:06,135 --> 00:01:09,565 Жид. Мне кажется что людям понравится это.
- 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,600 В смысле когда калеки мочат друг друга для нашей развлекухи.
- 00:01:13,635 --> 00:01:14,600 Ну ты и говнюк Картман.
- 00:01:14,635 --> 00:01:16,600 Что? Что я сделал?
- 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:21,900 ДЕНВЕРСКИЙ СПОРТ-КЛУБ
- 00:01:21,935 --> 00:01:23,865 ...шесть...
- 00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:28,900 ссс... ссс... семь!
- 00:01:28,935 --> 00:01:33,900 Нихрена не выходит
- 00:01:33,935 --> 00:01:35,865 О парень!
- 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:40,900 Ходят слухи. Тимми. В этом году соревнования очень жесткие.
- 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:46,900 Все атлеты прекрасно подготовлены, а я не могу даже семь раз выжать.
- 00:01:46,935 --> 00:01:49,417 Ладно, хорошо. Пойду передохну.
- 00:01:49,452 --> 00:01:52,176 Тимми, увидимся в раздевалке.
- 00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:54,900 Эй Джимми, удачи в субботу!
- 00:01:54,935 --> 00:01:56,900 Тебе тоже Фрэнсис.
- 00:01:56,935 --> 00:01:58,865 Эй Джимми.
- 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:00,865 Привет Н-Натан...
- 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,865 Вижу тренировки проходят с трудом
- 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,900 Да трудновато, тренируюсь, а результата ноль.
- 00:02:06,935 --> 00:02:08,865 а олимпийские игры через... неделю...
- 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:11,900 Возможно смогу помочь, есть более легкий способ.
- 00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:14,417 И более быстрый...
- 00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:16,676 Что за способ?
- 00:02:16,711 --> 00:02:18,900 Ты знаешь про...
- 00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:21,865 Стероиды.
- 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:26,900 с- сс-с-сс-стероиды?
- 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,400 Они разве не запрещены?
- 00:02:31,435 --> 00:02:32,865 Да, но есть новые...
- 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:36,900 Их не обнаруживают в анализах мочи.
- 00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:38,865 Хм... И как этим пользоваться?
- 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:42,900 Для детей с врожденным пороком сердца, три раза в день
- 00:02:42,935 --> 00:02:47,900 вводишь прямо в вену, два раза в день перед едой
- 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,900 Сколько это стоит?
- 00:02:51,935 --> 00:02:54,865 О- о-о... Недешево...
- 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:59,900 Товар привозят из заграницы, у меня свои поставщики.
- 00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:02,900 Хорошо, я чуть чуть попробую,
- 00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:05,417 только для соревнований.
- 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,900 Как скажешь Джимми...
- 00:03:07,935 --> 00:03:12,900 Как скажешь...
- 00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:14,865 Пацаны! Пацаны!
- 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,900 У меня супер идея! Я реально разбогатею!
- 00:03:17,935 --> 00:03:18,865 Как?
- 00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:23,400 Жидяра, я прочитал брошуру Олимпийских игр, и нашел там такое дерьмо:
- 00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:27,900 "в конце соревнований Чемпион-победитель получит специальный приз... "
- 00:03:27,935 --> 00:03:31,900 "штуку баксов"
- 00:03:31,935 --> 00:03:32,865 И что?
- 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:34,865 "И что?" Дурни, подумайте об этом.
- 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:39,900 Если претвориться калекой, можно легко выиграть и получить тысячу долларов!
- 00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:41,865 О нет Картман, НЕТ!
- 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,900 Это гениально! Я претворюсь, что я инвалид, и
- 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,900 надеру всем этим калекам задницу!
- 00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:49,900 Это ведь ужасно говнюк...
- 00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:50,865 Ужасно?
- 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,900 Да у вас бы мозгов не хватило придумать такой гениальный план...
- 00:03:53,935 --> 00:03:55,865 Это сработает - вот увидите!
- 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:59,900 Картман! Я тебе не позволю обмануть всех, и победить в олимпийских играх!
- 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:00,917 Почему?
- 00:04:00,952 --> 00:04:01,865 Потому!
- 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:02,865 И что ты собираешься делать Кайл? Скажи мне?
- 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,900 Тогда ты будешь двуличным сплетником в засранных штанах.
- 00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,900 Разбирайся со своими проблемами?
- 00:04:07,935 --> 00:04:11,865 Подрастай Кайл!
- 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:15,900 Я должен всех убедить что я инвалид и тогда получу тысячу баксов...
- 00:04:15,935 --> 00:04:20,900 Это будет нелегко.
- 00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:26,900 Способы претвориться инвалидом...
- 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,200 Дрррр, Дрррр, я хочу учавствовать в Специальных Олимпийских играх!
- 00:05:37,235 --> 00:05:42,200 Отлично!
- 00:05:56,700 --> 00:06:00,700 О! А! Секундочку!
- 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,665 Джимми?
- 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:04,700 Вот блин! Я! Я! Подожди!
- 00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:07,665 Джим, это твой отец!
- 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:12,700 Я же сказал подожди! Дайте мне проклятую с-секунду.
- 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,700 Джимми,
- 00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:19,217 ты дрочишь?
- 00:06:19,252 --> 00:06:20,665 Н- нет, папа.
- 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,700 Хорошо, хорошо, к тебе пришли.
- 00:06:22,735 --> 00:06:24,717 Привет Джимми!
- 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,665 О, привет Н-нэнси.
- 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,700 Я думала мы будем готовиться к завтрашнему диктанту.
- 00:06:28,735 --> 00:06:30,665 О, Конечно... Проходи...
- 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,665 Я не знал что у тебя есть подружка Джим.
- 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:34,700 Да папа, мы познакомились в прошлые выходные.
- 00:06:34,735 --> 00:06:36,665 Оставлю вас одних.
- 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,700 Ты точно не дрочишь? Ато тебя не хватит на подружку.
- 00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:43,717 Господи! Папа!
- 00:06:43,752 --> 00:06:46,700 Ладно, ладно.
- 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:55,665 Как дела парни?
- 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,665 Господь проклял тебя...
- 00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:02,700 Вы видите господа? До специальных Олимпийских игр, моего Чемпионства и одной штуки баксов осталось 4 дня.
- 00:07:02,735 --> 00:07:03,717 Я выиграю.
- 00:07:03,752 --> 00:07:04,665 Нет, не ты!
- 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,665 Я читал брошуру Картман.
- 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:10,700 Если тебе меньше восемнадцати, то записаться на соревнования ты можешь только с родителями!
- 00:07:10,735 --> 00:07:11,665 И что?
- 00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:15,700 Тут написано: "Родитель должен быть с Вами чтобы записать Вас",
- 00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:19,700 "и вы никогда не заставите Вашу маму подписаться под этот ужас" ХА!
- 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,200 Ма-а-а-а-а-м?
- 00:07:25,235 --> 00:07:26,665 Да мой карапузик?
- 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,700 Ты можешь для меня кое что сделать?
- 00:07:29,735 --> 00:07:30,700 Что сделать мой карапузик?
- 00:07:30,735 --> 00:07:31,665 Хм, окей
- 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:36,700 Это звучит немного странно, но послушай меня...
- 00:07:36,735 --> 00:07:38,665 Гм, ма-а-а-а-ам?
- 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:42,200 Ты сходишь со мной чтобы записать меня на Специальные Олимпийские игры,
- 00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:45,700 так чтоб я мог победить всех детей инвалидов и выиграть тысячу долларов?
- 00:07:45,735 --> 00:07:47,665 О, нет сладкий...
- 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,700 Я думаю эти игры только для "специальных" детей...
- 00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:52,665 А я разве не специальный?
- 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,665 Ты всегда говорила что я специален...
- 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:59,700 Ты, хм, я не думаю, что это хорошая идея.
- 00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:04,700 Мы поделим деньги пополам.
- 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,700 Я сожалею Эрик. Ответ - Нет.
- 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:15,665 Хорошо Мам. Вот правда...
- 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,665 Видит бог, это трудно сказать...
- 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:22,665 Я был слишком жесток с некоторыми инвалидами в школе.
- 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,665 Я считал что инвалиды существуют на земле для моего развлечения,
- 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:30,700 а теперь я думаю, что если бы я мог провести хотя бы один день на их месте...
- 00:08:30,735 --> 00:08:33,700 если бы я мог видеть с какими проблемами они сталкиваются каждый день...
- 00:08:33,735 --> 00:08:36,717 я бы не был настолько холоден...
- 00:08:36,752 --> 00:08:39,700 Я только хочу шанс измениться.
- 00:08:39,735 --> 00:08:42,665 Помоги мне измениться...
- 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:46,700 Ох, сладкий, конечно же я тебе помогу.
- 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,665 Заебись!
- 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,700 Мы сделали работу на все 500% Тимми.
- 00:08:52,735 --> 00:08:54,665 Мы действительно молодцы.
- 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,665 Я думаю я смогу завоевать золото в плавании.
- 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,700 Тренер говорит, что я самый быстрый из всех кого он видел.
- 00:08:58,735 --> 00:09:01,700 Хорошо, увидимся рано утром для тренировки. Тим-тим.
- 00:09:01,735 --> 00:09:06,700 Подашь мне мой рюкзак?
- 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,700 Ох-ох... Тимми...
- 00:09:18,735 --> 00:09:21,700 Увидимся позже.
- 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:28,200 До... До завтра Тимми.
- 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:32,700 Тебе показалось Тимми.
- 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:38,700 Возможно я не смогу победить без них!
- 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:48,200 Скажи мне... Ты ведь никому не расскажешь?
- 00:09:48,235 --> 00:09:52,700 Это ведь мой организм, и это мой выбор!
- 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,665 Не читай мне лекций по спортивной этике.
- 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,700 Только так я смогу победить на Специальных Олимпийских играх!
- 00:09:59,735 --> 00:10:04,700 Я только попробую, успокойся!
- 00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:07,665 Н- ну и что ты собираешься делать?
- 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:12,700 Ты станешь засранцем и покажешь пузырек тренеру?
- 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,700 Не думай что ты лучше чем я Тимми!
- 00:10:20,735 --> 00:10:25,700 Я живу в реальном мире!
- 00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:30,700 Ебаный врот!
- 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:40,700 Хорошо - 30 ярдов Тимми, продолжай!
- 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,665 Вау Джимми я не могу поверить!
- 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,200 Ты еще более силен чем я когда либо видел!
- 00:10:50,235 --> 00:10:52,665 Да, мне удалось... Действительно трудно...
- 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:57,700 Если будешь продолжать в том же духе, то побьешь рекорды Олимпийских игр в субботу!
- 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,665 Хорошо, это весь материал чтобы записать Майкла?
- 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,700 Да, только поставьте подпись под таблицей и мы закончим.
- 00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:06,665 Большое спасибо!
- 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,700 Незачто! Удачи Майклl!
- 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:08,665 Спасибо.
- 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:12,700 Окей, следующий пожалуйста?
- 00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:14,665 Привет.
- 00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:19,700 Привет... Я бы хотела записать моего сына.
- 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:21,700 О- о-о, прекрасно, как его зовут?
- 00:11:21,735 --> 00:11:24,717 Эрик Картман.
- 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,665 КАРТМАН!
- 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:28,700 Хорошо, а возраст?
- 00:11:28,735 --> 00:11:30,665 Девять лет.
- 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:33,700 Хорошо, и какая у него инвалидность?
- 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,665 Хм... Он недалекий.
- 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,200 Нет, если можно поточнее?
- 00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:42,700 Синдром дауна, паралич мозга?
- 00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,665 Хм, я не уверена.
- 00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:48,700 Сладкий что у тебя за болезнь?
- 00:11:48,735 --> 00:11:52,665 Откуда я знаю? Я же тупой!
- 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:57,700 Ладно, оставим этот пункт пустым.
- 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:05,700 Да-да... Я самый сильный!
- 00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,665 О! Привет Тимми, заходи.
- 00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:20,700 Ты хочешь поговрить о чем то важном, пнятно?
- 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:27,700 Хорошо Тимми, как ваш психолог, я хочу чтобы ты знал, что ты можешь мне говорить все, пнятно?
- 00:12:27,735 --> 00:12:32,700 А я постараюсь тебе помочь в твоей проблеме.
- 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,700 Пнятно, Тимми...
- 00:12:38,735 --> 00:12:40,665 Что за проблема?
- 00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:44,700 Не Ти-имми, Джимми!
- 00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:49,700 Джи-Джимми?
- 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:57,700 А Джимми Валмер! Окей, что с ним?
- 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,665 Ппппп-нятно.
- 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:21,700 Я не понимаю Тимми...
- 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:27,700 Так, Джимми Валмер.
- 00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:36,665 Да, он - Джимми. Да.
- 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:41,700 Так я буду тратить мою тысячу долларов, автор: Эрик Картман
- 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:47,700 Входите!
- 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,700 Картман, мне не нравится что ты делаешь,
- 00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:02,700 это безнравственно, и я не позволю.
- 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,665 Продолжай Кайл.
- 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,700 То что ты делаешь аморально...
- 00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,665 Ты должен передумать.
- 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,700 Потому что если ты этого не сделаешь, то будешь гореть в аду,
- 00:14:16,735 --> 00:14:21,700 а мне придется рассказать всем как ты их обманываешь.
- 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,665 Окей Кайл, я понял куда ты клонишь.
- 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:32,700 Гм, ты как и все жиды имеешь неправильное понятие об этике.
- 00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:36,665 Кайл, посмотри "Страсти Христовы" Мэла Гибсона...
- 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:37,700 Я пришел говорить не о "Страстях Христовых", Картман!
- 00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:38,665 Дай мне закончить.
- 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,700 Если бы ты смотрел "Страсти Христовы" то бы знал что ад открыт для евреев
- 00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:43,665 и всех кто не верит в Христа.
- 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,700 И фактически получается, что - я единственный кто волнуется о твоей душе.
- 00:14:46,735 --> 00:14:48,665 Я пришел говорить о тебе!
- 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:51,700 Да, а вместо этого должен был посмотреть внутрь себя.
- 00:14:51,735 --> 00:14:53,700 Это новая глава в втоей жизни Кайл.
- 00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:58,700 Удачи.
- 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:18,665 Подход! Толчок!
- 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,700 Да-а, з-замечательно.
- 00:15:21,735 --> 00:15:24,665 Ох.. енный бицепс!
- 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:27,700 Джимми, я думала мы встретимся в магазине пончиков?
- 00:15:27,735 --> 00:15:30,700 Игры через 2 дня Нэнси, я не могу т-тратить время.
- 00:15:30,735 --> 00:15:34,665 Я не думала, что я была тратой времени.
- 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,700 Ну здорово... Ты снова собираешься нести чушь?
- 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,717 Толчок! Еще толчок!
- 00:15:38,752 --> 00:15:40,726 Джимми что с тобой.
- 00:15:40,761 --> 00:15:42,730 Ты какой-то... другой.
- 00:15:42,765 --> 00:15:44,665 Такой же, только ревную.
- 00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,700 Ты не тот в кого я влюбилась на прошлой неделе!
- 00:15:46,735 --> 00:15:49,665 Мы расстаемся!
- 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,700 Только попробуй расстаться сука, и я тебя убью!
- 00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:54,700 Ты не можешь так обращаться с людьми!
- 00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:58,217 Я сказал закрой рот сука!
- 00:15:58,252 --> 00:16:01,665 Почему я это сделал, ха?
- 00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:06,700 Держи пасть закрытой и веди себя тихо!
- 00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:08,717 Джимми, что там...?
- 00:16:08,752 --> 00:16:10,726 Господи, Джимми!
- 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,700 Отъебись тупая сука!
- 00:16:14,735 --> 00:16:19,700 Нет! Боже!
- 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:32,000 Приветствуем каждого на Специальных Олимпийских Играх 2004!
- 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,000 У нас будут разные соревнования,
- 00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:39,965 и в конце дня мы узнаем,
- 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:45,000 кто станет чемпионом и обладателем приза в тысячу долларов!
- 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:47,965 Чемпионом, да-а-а!
- 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,965 Тысяча долларов, да-а-а!
- 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:56,000 Позвольте объявить наши игры открытыми!
- 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:02,000 Итак первые соревнования "Бег на 100 метровую дистанцию".
- 00:17:03,035 --> 00:17:08,000 Окей, все готовы? Займите свои места.
- 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000 По моему знаку...
- 00:17:10,335 --> 00:17:11,617 Внимание, марш!
- 00:17:15,052 --> 00:17:19,000 Стоп. Что за черт?
- 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Итак, отлично в тройке победителей номер 6, 2 и 4.
- 00:17:28,035 --> 00:17:32,017 Супер! Отлично! Я сделала это!
- 00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:36,000 Надо позже надрать им задницу.
- 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,965 Да-а-а! Да-а-а-а!
- 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:55,000 Удивительно! Установлен новый рекорд Олимпийских игр!
- 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,000 Отстой!
- 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:12,000 Победитель - Джимми Валмер!
- 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Хорошо тут я могу победить.
- 00:18:19,035 --> 00:18:22,000 Я вам покажу тупые калеки!
- 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Черт побери!
- 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,500 Очередной рекорд игр побит!
- 00:18:42,535 --> 00:18:46,000 Да-а-а, да-а-а я сделал это!
- 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,000 Дамы и господа, наши соревнования подошли к концу
- 00:18:52,035 --> 00:18:55,965 и у нас есть чемпион 2004!
- 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,965 Вручат награды легенды бейсбола
- 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:04,000 Марк Макгир, Джейсон Джиамби, и Барри Бондс.
- 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000 Чемпионом 2004 года стал...
- 00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:09,965 Джимми Волмер!
- 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Да-а-а! Ебитесь в рот, да-а-а! Да-а-а!
- 00:19:13,035 --> 00:19:16,000 Я сделал это! Я л-л-лучший!
- 00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:17,965 Поздравления Джимми.
- 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Но мы все знаем что в наших соревнованиях никто не проигрывает.
- 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:26,000 Итак, вручим вознаграждение человеку который пришел последним:
- 00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:29,017 Эрик Картман!
- 00:19:29,052 --> 00:19:31,965 Мерзкие хиппи!
- 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Для поднятия духа эрик получает подарочный купон на 50 долларов от магазина Шоккей!
- 00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:39,965 Подходите Эрик!
- 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:45,000 Да клал я на ваш Шаккей... Хотя...
- 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:52,000 Что черт возьми ты здесь делаешь Эрик?
- 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,965 Ты ебарь претворился инвалидом?
- 00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:00,000 Я сейчас надеру тебе задницу паршивый мошенник!
- 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,965 Что?
- 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,000 О мой боже. Ты прав Тимми.
- 00:20:09,035 --> 00:20:12,517 Ты абсолютно прав.
- 00:20:12,552 --> 00:20:15,965 Я требую внимания?
- 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,500 Я должен отдать свою медаль.
- 00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:23,000 Я играл нечестно и употреблял...
- 00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:24,965 Стероиды.
- 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,965 Я хотел быть лучшим
- 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,965 и стероиды заставили меня сделать больно подруге.
- 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,965 Друг пытался отговорить меня от этого, но я не слушал его.
- 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:39,000 Использование стероидов - все равно что претворяться инвалидом на этих играх.
- 00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:41,965 В справедливой игре
- 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,000 если побеждаешь изза стероидов, то ты не победитель.
- 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:45,965 Ты просто п.. зда.
- 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,965 Большая ж-ж-ж-ж-ирная п... зда
- 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,000 и если вы употребляете стероиды, единственная приличная вещь которую надо сделать
- 00:20:53,035 --> 00:20:57,000 "удалить меня из книги рекордов потому что я большая вонючая п... зда"
- 00:20:57,035 --> 00:20:59,965 "пожирающий стероиды осел"
- 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,000 поэтому я должен отказаться от этой медали
- 00:21:03,035 --> 00:21:04,965 и моего места в книге рекордов.
- 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 И если позволите я вернусь в следующем году.
- 00:21:07,035 --> 00:21:12,000 Соревноваться честно.
- 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000 Эй ребенок, ты хорош для того чтобы быть честным.
- 00:21:16,035 --> 00:21:16,965 Хорошо парни..
- 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,965 Теперь вы поняли зачем я все это придумал.
- 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,000 Я притворился инвалидом и проиграл Специальные Олимпийские Игры нарочно,
- 00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:29,000 чтобы Джимми усвоил урок о стероидах.
- 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:31,965 Так?
- 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000 А вы парни жопы!
- 00:21:34,035 --> 00:21:35,965 Драные!
- 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:42,000 с конструктивной критикой перевода на e-mail: xploid@nm. ru ICQ 122002075
Скриншоты
