Славные времена с оружием — Друзья покупают на ярмарке японское холодное оружие и воображают себя аниме-персонажами. Их противником становится профессор Хаос.

Предыдущая серия S07 E15 Рождество в Канаде

Следующая серия S08 E02 Обратная сторона стероидов

Славные времена с оружием

Good Times With Weapons

Сезон: 08Серия: 01

Описание

Друзья покупают на ярмарке японское холодное оружие и воображают себя аниме-персонажами. Их противником становится профессор Хаос.

Субтитры

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:40,666 Stop it, Cartman.
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,835 That's so funny.
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,919 God damn it, Cartman!
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,380 Stop throwing those stupid poppy things at me!
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,923 Come on and take a look, folks.
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,468 We've got a lot of knives for sale here.
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:53,471 Oh, my God! Look!
00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:56,557 "Martial arts weapons from the Far East."
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,184 Wow. Cool.
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,186 Dude, we should each buy a weapon,
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,604 and then we'll be like ninjas.
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,732 Yeah! We won't have to take crap from anybody!
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,275 Our parents won't let us have weapons, dude.
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,860 Who's gonna tell them, dumb-ass?
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,029 Yeah. Our parents are gonna be at this stupid fair all day.
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,614 They'll never know what we bought.
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,657 I'll get the tonfas. Those are <i>so</i> sweet.
00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,159 I'm gonna get those killer sai.
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,036 Look, Kenny, there's something even you can afford --
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,246 a ninja shuriken for $1.99.
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,790 Mrph rm!
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,458 Can I help you boys?
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,960 Yeah. We want to get one of each of these ninja weapons.
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,880 Okay. You need to have your parents here when you buy them.
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,841 I can't sell to anyone under 18 without parents' permission.
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,969 Parents?
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,304 Parents?
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,890 Oh, God!
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,309 W-What's the matter?
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,937 No!
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:45,606 We're brothers, see, and our parents died
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,233 in a car accident last year.
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,818 Why?!
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,236 Why?!
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,279 Why did you have to take them both?!
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,364 Why?!
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,912 Why do people have to keep reminding us
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,039 of what we don't have?!
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,166 It's -- It's all right, boys. Don't cry.
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,336 I'll -- I'll just go pack these up for you, okay?
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,048 God damn. That's like the 12th time that's worked.
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,390 Kyah! Kyah!
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,808 Tai-yo!
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:21,767 Gyah!
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,144 Shut up, hippies! I'll kill you!
00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:24,061 Yah!
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,437 With my tonfa of Takanawa,
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,815 I become the great and powerful ninja Shadowhachi --
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,067 born to fight evil and people I don't like.
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,570 Yeah, and my powerful nunchucks make me into Bunraku --
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:35,948 a deadly but compassionate ninja who protects those in trouble.
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,324 What's your ninja name, Kenny?
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:41,537 Mrph rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,289 Yes, and I am Bulrog --
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,249 a tough, brute ninja who has dedicated his life
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,293 to eradicating the world from hippies.
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,129 All right, ninjas. Let's go protect the world.
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,505 Kick-ass.
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,970 You guys, you know what we should do?
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,097 We should go show our weapons to Craig and those guys.
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,182 They'll be so jealous.
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:02,641 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,935 No, dude. We can't go around showing our weapons to people.
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,645 Our parents might find out we have them.
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,481 Ugh. You see, guys, this is why Jews can't be ninjas.
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,025 They've got no spine.
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,818 You don't know anything about Jews, fat-ass!
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,571 My mom took me to see Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion,"
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,948 and Mel Gibson says you are snakes and you are liars.
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,242 And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,411 Don't worry, Kyle. Craig's not gonna tell on us.
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,205 Come, ninjas. Let's go.
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,375 All right. This is it.
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,253 Yes. The residence that belongs to the one called Craig.
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,047 I still say this is a bad idea.
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:35,841 Ninja positions.
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,176 Ha!
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,429 Hello, Craig.
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,057 Look what we got.
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,100 Where'd you get those?
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,436 We can't tell you where. It's secret ninja stuff.
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,688 Ooh, is that jealously I see in your eyes, Craig?
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,648 Mm, yes.
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:53,192 Drown me in the sweet water of your envy.
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,110 Uh, th-they're not <i>that</i> cool.
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,237 Yeah, they're not <i>that</i> cool.
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,364 These are real, authentic weapons from the Far East.
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,032 But don't tell anybody we have them.
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:00,866 Ugh.
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,285 - Whoa! Where'd you get those? - Let me see!
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,411 Uh, we'd love to hang out, guys,
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,871 but we have important secret work to do.
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,624 Yes, the life of a ninja is complex and full of peril.
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,875 Come on, ninjas.
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,794 - Ho! - Mrph!
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,632 Oh, man, did you see the look on Craig's face?!
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,050 That was awesome!
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,261 Dude, we're like the coolest kids in the whole state.
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,638 Hey, fellas. What's happening?
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,515 We're playing ninjas, Butters.
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,142 Wow-ee! Hey, can I play ninjas with you?
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,018 No, Butters.
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,436 We are a very select elite fighting team sent
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,355 to protect the world from evil, and you can't play with us.
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,773 Yeah. You wouldn't make a very good ninja.
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,150 Come on, guys. We have a lot of work to do.
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,652 Yes, and no time to do it.
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,903 No time.
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,284 I think I'd make a really good ninja.
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,162 Geez, those guys never let me play with them.
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,415 They just shun me all the time.
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,874 I'm a lost soul --
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,876 a dark, lonely shadow of a person.
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,670 - Hi, Butters. - Hi, Mom.
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:58,424 A castaway forced to live his life out in solitude.
00:04:58,549 --> 00:04:59,883 It is because of times like these
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:01,552 I was forced to a life of evil.
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:02,970 Society cast me out,
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,596 and so I vowed to make them all pay!
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:05,889 And pay they did.
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,141 Nobody knows that beneath
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,393 this sweet, eight-year-old little boy lies the most evil,
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,687 most destructive supervillain of all time!
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,567 Professor Chaos!
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,237 Let's see how you like dealing with me, ninjas!
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,703 Bah!
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,204 Bah!
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,709 Ooh, Butters. Are you going out to play again?
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,046 Yeah, Mom, I'm just going outside for a little while.
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,130 Well, could you be a sweetie
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,965 and take that pie over there to the Thompsons?
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,259 I made it to thank them for babysitting you last week.
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,803 Oh. Ok-- Okay, Mom.
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,183 Gah! Aah!
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,310 Buh! Ugh!
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228 Buh!
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,735 Hmm. This doesn't seem to be the right way.
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,861 My ninja sense is telling me
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,237 we might be heading in the wrong direction.
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,280 Okay. Hang on, guys.
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,199 I'll use my special power to see into the future
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,076 and find out where we should head next.
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,203 Hold on, you guys. I actually have another power.
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,038 I can see into the future, too, but better than Kyle.
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,039 Let me try.
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,916 God damn it, Cartman, you can't keep making up powers!
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,126 Yeah, dude. That's like the fifth power you've come up with.
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,879 I am Bulrog, and I have lots and lots of powers.
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,173 No, asshole! From now on, you only get to have one power.
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,299 So what is it?
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427 I have the power to have all the powers I want.
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,595 That doesn't count, fat-ass!
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,680 Yeah, that's it, Cartman. You don't get any powers.
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,768 Hah! Ha ha ha ha!
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,897 Well, well, well. If it isn't the four ninjas.
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,775 - Who the hell is that? - I don't know.
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,068 Craig, is that you?
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,319 Fools!
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:46,824 I am Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and doom!
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:50,077 Your feeble ninja powers are no match for me!
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:50,994 Whoa.
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,955 Looks like we have a sworn enemy, you guys.
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:53,789 Mrph!
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,125 Very well, Professor Chaos. We'll play along.
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,585 Now feel the fiery sting of my tonfa of Takanawa!
00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,753 Hyah!
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,761 Hey, kid, that knocks you down.
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,846 Nunh-unh.
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,013 Yeah-huh. I got you.
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:13,684 Nunh-unh, because my cloak is made of a titanium alloy
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,310 that shields me from heat!
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,689 That's bullcrap! Titanium alloy, my ass.
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,649 Well, let's see how he likes the icy blast
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,984 of my nunchucks of Kuramoto!
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,569 Ha!
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:25,446 Aah!
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,408 Uh, nice attempt, ninja.
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:34,079 But now both of you shall feel the power of my Web of Holding!
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:37,875 - Aah! - Aah!
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543 - Ugh! - Ugh!
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,380 Now you are both trapped in spider webs.
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,802 All right, dickhole. Time for you to pay.
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,683 Oh, no. I have no powers. Kyle took them away from me.
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,768 Kyle, give me back my powers so I can fight this evil villain!
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,562 Okay, okay. You can have your powers back.
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,398 All right. And now I'll use my power to...
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,567 turn Kyle into a chicken! Bah!
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,110 God damn it, Cartman!
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,653 ♪ Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha! ♪
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,988 ♪ Now you are a chicken ♪
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,490 ♪ Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah! ♪
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,491 Enough!
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,160 I grow weary of your foolishness.
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,829 Professor Chaos cannot be stopped.
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,707 Oh, yeah? Kenny, use your ninja star!
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,251 Mrph! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,005 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,305 Aaaaaah!
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,309 Oh, shit, dude.
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,852 Butters! Oh, my God.
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,398 Oh, dude, it's stuck in his eye.
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,108 What the hell did you do that for, Kenny?!
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,069 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,154 It hurts! It hurts!
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,240 Oh, man! We are in serious trouble!
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,535 Shh! Shh! It's okay, Butters. Calm down.
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,078 I-It's not that bad. Really.
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,913 But I can't see nothin'.
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,290 I got to go to the hospital!
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,253 Okay, okay. Calm down, Butters. It'll be okay.
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,756 Guys, meeting over here for a second.
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,132 All right, you guys.
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,510 We need to stay calm and just do the right thing.
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,762 We have to kill Butters and bury him in Kyle's backyard.
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,680 Dude, shut up.
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,764 - I agree with Cartman. - What?!
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,432 You don't understand what my mom will do to me
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,142 if she finds out I was playing with weapons!
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,900 Just stay still, Butters.
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,402 Uh...
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:30,988 Uh...
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,240 Stop, dude! You're gonna scramble his brain!
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,534 Go ahead and scramble it. He won't remember it was us.
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:36,994 You guys can't fix my eyeball!
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,913 You have to take me to the hospital!
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:40,956 If we take him to the hospital,
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,207 they're gonna find out what happened.
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,458 God damn it!
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,044 God, please, if you get me out of this,
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,463 I swear I'll never play with weapons ever again.
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,549 Don't be so quick to throw off your ninja responsibility, Kyle.
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:51,758 Now, come on, guys.
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,010 Sure, it's easy to be a ninja
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,344 when everything's going your way.
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,388 But it's time likes these, when the chips are down,
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,056 that a ninja shows his true character.
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,349 I-I'm getting woozy.
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,351 Shut up, Butters. Now, there's a way out of this.
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,687 We just have to use our ninja reasoning.
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:09,067 We need a doctor, but we can't go to the hospital.
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,986 Wait a minute. Wait, wait. What about the veterinarian?
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,112 Dr. Shafley?
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,780 He's really old and going blind.
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,450 So if we make Butters up to look like a dog...
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,326 Oh, no.
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,869 We might pass him off as our pet.
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,329 But -- But, fellas, if I --
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,414 if I dress up like a dog with a star in my eye,
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,915 I'm gonna get grounded!
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,125 - Shut up, Butters! - Shut up, Butters!
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,669 That is the dumbest idea you guys have ever come up with!
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,172 I'd expect this stupidity out of Cartman, but you, Stan?
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,090 Butters needs medical attention right now!
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,967 All right. Then you take him to the hospital, Kyle.
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:34,968 You take him to the hospital
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,387 and let your mom find out what happened.
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,686 Hand me the modeling glue. We need more fur over here.
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,940 That modeling glue is making me dizzy.
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,651 Butters, we're trying to help you, god damn it!
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,277 Now stop being such an asshole!
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,570 We need some more fur.
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,242 I think that's good.
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,911 Okay. Let's hear your bark, Butters.
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,955 Woof. W-Woof?
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,875 All right. Now we've just got to sneak him into town.
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,214 Okay. It's clear.
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,926 Now, remember, Butters -- When you get to the vet's office,
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,762 you need to stay down on all fours and -- Butters, listen!
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,306 At the vet's office, stay down on all fours and bark a lot.
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,727 Woof. Woof. Woof.
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,062 We've got to hurry. It's getting late.
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,649 - Oh, shit. Somebody's coming. - Quick! Hide Butters!
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:31,775 In here!
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,028 But -- But, fellas, I got --
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,864 Aha! There you are.
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,200 You guys thought you were so cool, didn't you?
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,327 Well, look at what we got.
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,414 No way. You got weapons, too?
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:46,540 Where'd you get those?
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,792 From the kn-kn-- From the kn-- From the --
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,460 From the knife guy at the county fair.
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,379 At first he said we needed our parents' permission,
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,172 but then we told him our parents were dead.
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,758 Aw, man, now every douchebag in town has a ninja weapon!
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,759 Lame!
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,470 So, how would you ninjas like to do battle?
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,472 Uh, not now, Craig. We -- We have to be going.
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,058 You can't pass through this area until you defend your honor!
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,685 He said not now, Craig!
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,769 I am not Craig.
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,732 I am Ginza -- with the powerful blade of the kintama.
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,607 Yah!
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,443 And I am Black Chaku --
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,403 with the power of perfect spelling!
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,780 Guys, we're -- we're really not playing, okay?
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,621 W-What -- What's the matter, f-fellas?
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,708 Are you n-ninjas or p-p-pussies?
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,793 We're twice the ninjas you fags are!
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:32,794 Then fight us.
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,672 Very well, Clyde. Yah!
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,257 I swore to never fight again.
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,217 We don't have a choice, Kyle. Just humor them.
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,177 Yah!
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,386 - Yah! - Yah!
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,473 ♪ Suba-ra-shi chin chin mono ♪
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,434 ♪ Kintama no kame aru ♪
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,312 ♪ Sore no oto saru bo bo ♪
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,732 ♪ Iye! Ninja ga imas-u-u-u-u-u-u ♪
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,818 ♪ Hey, hey, let's go kenka suru ♪
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,696 ♪ Taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,449 ♪ Boku ga warui so let's fighting ♪
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,660 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,997 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,625 ♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,711 ♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,339 ♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,675 ♪ Daijobu we do it all the time ♪
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,469 ♪ Hey, hey, let's go kenka suru -- ♪
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,596 Wait, wait! Wait, wait! Wa--
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,473 Hold on a second. Where's Butters?
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,184 Oh, no. Butters!
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,852 Butters!
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,188 Oh, nice going, you assholes! You made us lose him!
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,439 - Lose who? - Butters!
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,899 He got a ninja star stuck in his eye.
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,151 And we were taking him to the vet when you fucked it all up!
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,069 Butters?!
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,904 Stuck in his eye? Was he bleeding?
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,280 Y-Yeah, a little. Butters!
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,324 - Get back here right now! - Oh, shit.
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,909 You guys are in trouble. We're out of here!
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,702 No, dude! You got to help us find him!
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,454 - To hell with that! - We're in this together, Craig!
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,122 If Butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you.
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,457 That's ninja code.
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,753 Hello?
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,630 Anybody?
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,632 Woof. Woof?
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,551 Woof-woof.
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,511 Woof?
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,012 Woof?
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,308 - Butters? - Butters?
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,518 - Here, Butters! - Mrph!
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,894 - Butters! - Butters!
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,063 B-B-B-B-Butters?
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,398 - Butters! - Hey, Butters!
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,524 Dude, look!
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,575 Hello, there, children.
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,410 - Hey, Chef. - How's it going?
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,495 - Bad. - Why bad?
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,998 Uh, Chef, you haven't seen Butters around, have you?
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,541 No, can't say that I have.
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,710 Hey, what are you children doing with those weapons?
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,628 N-Nothing. Just...playing.
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,630 Well, you children should be careful with those.
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,591 You could put somebody's eye out.
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,884 Yeah, we know.
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,594 Well, I got to get to the fairgrounds.
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,470 They're about to start the big auction.
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,471 So long, children.
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,900 Woof. Woof!
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,776 Woof-woof!
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,194 Oh, my God.
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,822 What the -- Doctor! Doctor!
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,866 Jesus Christ.
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,747 What kind of sick bastard would do this to a dog?
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:14,915 Poor little pup.
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667 Woof-woof?
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,294 Can you help him, Doctor?
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,712 I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,465 Unfortunately for this little fella, I'm a people doctor.
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,133 Best we call the animal shelter.
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,885 Right away.
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,184 In our last episode, the four ninjas did battle
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,227 with Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and doom.
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,438 It was during that great battle that ninja master Kenny
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,940 threw his star into Professor Chaos' eye.
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,483 Now the ninjas were in serious trouble
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,360 because their parents might find out they had weapons
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,611 if Professor Chaos told on them.
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,029 While trying to get Professor Chaos some aid
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,364 at the veterinarian's office,
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,324 the four ninjas ran into Craig and his three friends.
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,034 They challenged the four ninjas to fight,
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,661 and the legendary battle of Tokutawa began.
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,121 It was during this battle that Professor Chaos escaped,
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,581 so the four ninjas were forced to join forces
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,541 with Craig and his friends to find Professor Chaos,
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377 or else they would all be grounded.
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,796 - Butters? - Butters?
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,964 - Here, Butters. - Mrph!
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,131 - Butters? - Butters!
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,633 Butters, where the hell are you?
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,801 It's hopeless, dude.
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,344 Butters must have made it to the hospital.
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,763 By now our parents probably know we were playing with weapons!
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,306 We have to get rid of the evidence!
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,224 What?
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,934 Dude, we have to get rid of our weapons
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,978 so at least we can try to deny everything.
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,188 Screw that, dude. I paid 20 bucks for these things.
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,982 Let's just return them and get our money back.
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191 We don't have time for that, dude!
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,026 We just have to ditch them -- now!
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,862 Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw your nunchucks away.
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:28,989 If you can.
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,200 But you know damn well that your Jewish blood won't let you.
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,411 You can't throw away something you paid 15 bucks for.
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,495 Go ahead and try.
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,497 Screw you, fat-ass!
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,001 Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,836 Right now the Jew in you is screaming, "No!
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,713 Those cost money. Get your money back."
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,214 You know this to be true.
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:50,677 Go ahead.
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,388 Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle. Do it.
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,726 Aah!
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,188 I-I can't do it.
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,815 I can't do it. I...
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,025 It's all right, Kyle.
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,027 We'll go back to the fair and return them.
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,575 Come on.
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,036 Come on, little fella.
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,287 Attaboy.
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,584 Right over here. Good dog. Come on.
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,419 There you go. Right in there.
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,171 <i>Good</i> dog.
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,478 Aah!
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:45,065 Somebody threw a ninja star in that poor puppy's eye?
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,942 It just makes me sick how some people can treat animals.
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,695 Well, nothing we can do for it. Let's put it to sleep, shall we?
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,238 Here you go, pup.
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,157 I've got a sweet dose of murder for you.
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,327 What the -- Blast it! He's escaped!
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,411 Oh, well.
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,622 Let's murder one of these other dogs.
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,250 All right! The county fair's still open.
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,172 Can I help you boys?
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,007 We have come to return the weapons we purchased.
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,343 Oh, sorry, kids. I don't give refunds.
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,012 Listen, doucher, our parents are gonna kill us -- and you --
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,847 if they find out that we bought these.
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,682 I thought you told me your parents were dead.
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,810 - You guys! You guys! - What is it, Craig?
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,228 - It's Butters! We saw him! - Where?!
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,896 Right on the other side of the fairgrounds.
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,189 He's just wandering around aimlessly.
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,691 - Then it's <i>not</i> too late! - Come on, ninjas.
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,987 All right, folks, our next item up for auction
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,156 is this lovely 19th-century lamp.
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,700 Oh, crap, dude. All our parents are there.
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,119 Butters was right on the other side.
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,662 - We have to get past them. - All right.
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,373 Looks like I'll have to use my power of invisibility to get by.
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,624 You have <i>that</i> power, too?
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626 I told you -- Bulrog has lots and lots of powers.
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,752 Behold.
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:54,634 This way, I can move about the crowd of people undetected.
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,262 - Here. Hold this stuff for me. - Good luck, Bulrog.
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,142 This lamp comes from the estate of Edna and James Holinger,
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,352 who lived in upstate Wyoming.
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,856 It has a bronze finish and actual gold leaf along the base.
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,275 This is a really rare opportunity
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,985 to own a classic antique.
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,028 The lamp has been appraised by our auction staff
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,822 at well over $2,000,
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,241 so we're gonna start the bidding at $375.
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,952 Do I -- Do I hear $375?
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,384 Kid, what the hell do you think you're doing?
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,476 Butters!
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,438 What happened to him?
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,607 Oh, my God!
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:51,691 Oh, Jesus.
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,735 Oh, dude, we are gonna get it now.
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,532 All right, people.
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,993 We are all extremely upset over what's happened,
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,828 but let's try to speak one at a time.
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,371 Well, like the rest of you,
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,624 I am shocked and appalled at what happened.
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,584 I don't know if the parents are to blame
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,419 or if it's the times we're living in,
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,379 but something has to change!
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,218 This is the worst thing that's ever happened in this town --
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,427 the worst thing!
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,180 Yeah!
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:25,016 I mean, there were children watching that auction.
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,893 And when that little eight-year-old boy
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,272 walked up and flashed his... penis, it was an outrage!
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,025 I was outraged!
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,526 What?
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,110 What?
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:40,031 Not only that, the auction was televised on public access.
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,743 So my little daughter watching at home saw the...penis.
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,620 How am I supposed to explain that to her?
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,829 This is what happens
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,123 when the moral fabric of society breaks down.
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,918 - Yeah! - It's the fabric's fault!
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,087 You see the damage you've caused, Eric Cartman?
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,255 What were you thinking?!
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,424 I told you -- It was a wardrobe malfunction.
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,301 - That's bull! - No way!
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,429 Dude, they don't care we knocked Butters' eye out with weapons?
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,515 Just run with it, dude.
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,142 Uh, yeah. I agree!
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,978 Uh, my fragile little eight-year-old mind
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,854 didn't know how to deal with what I was seeing.
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,064 Cartman should be punished!
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,024 - Yeah! That's right! - I agree!
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,484 Hey, fuck you, Kyle!
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,321 - Dude, I-I can't believe it. - Yeah!
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,031 I guess parents don't give a crap about violence
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,491 if there's sex things to worry about.
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,827 So I guess this means we get to keep our weapons.
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,412 Yeah. Come on, ninjas.
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,081 We've got some more work to do.
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,083 - Hyah! - ♪ Hey, hey, let's go ♪
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,668 ♪ Kenka suru ♪
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,337 ♪ Taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,799 ♪ Boku ga warui so let's fighting ♪
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,593 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,555 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,182 ♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,477 ♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,397 ♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,567 ♪ Daijobu we do it all the time ♪
00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,486 ♪ Hey, hey, let's go kenka suru ♪
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,115 ♪ Taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪

00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:25,020 подготовка субтитров - &rey (sader@yandex. ru)
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,270 Кончай уже, Картман! Ха-ха, прикольно.
00:00:43,050 --> 00:00:46,400 Чёрт возьми, Картман, прекрати кидать эти тупые хлопушки в меня!
00:00:46,435 --> 00:00:50,780 Подходи, налетай, народ. У нас для вас всякие разные ножи.
00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:52,560 О боже, смотрите!
00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:55,820 "Оружие военного искусства Дальнего востока".
00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:58,365 Ух, клёво!
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,490 Чуваки! Каждый себе купит оружие, и будем прям как ниньзи.
00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:03,840 Ага. Мы не должны брать то дерьмо как у всех.
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,220 Наши родители не разрешат нам оружие, чуваки.
00:01:06,255 --> 00:01:07,715 А кто это здесь собрался им говорить?!
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,710 Да, чуваки, наши родаки будут на тупой ярмаре весь день.
00:01:09,745 --> 00:01:10,610 Они никогда не узнают чего мы купили.
00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:13,230 Я возьму тонфас. Они такие клёвые.
00:01:13,265 --> 00:01:14,510 Я возьму те убийственные сай.
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,080 Смотри Кенни! Тут есть кое-что, ты сможешь себе это позволить!
00:01:17,115 --> 00:01:19,830 Сюрикен ниндзя за доллар девяносто девять.
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,575 Чем помочь, ребята?
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:24,520 Ага. Нам надо вот эти оружия ниндзя.
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:27,925 Ну хорошо, позовите своих родителей, чтобы купить, я
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,660 не могу продать детям до восемнадцати лет без разрешения родителей.
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,440 Родители? Родители? О боже!
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,280 О, что, что случилось?
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:47,660 Ма, ма братья, видите, и наши родители... погибли в аварии в том году.
00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:52,980 Почему?! Почему?! Почему ты забрала их обоих?! Почему?! Почему?!
00:01:56,670 --> 00:02:01,860 Почему люди постоянно напоминают нам о тех кого у нас нет?
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,930 Ну ладно, всё хорошо, ребятки. Не плачьте. Я...
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:07,380 Я только... пойду упакую всё для вас, хорошо?
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,020 Фига себе, это сработало уже в двенадцатый раз.
00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:20,220 Кийя! Кия! Кай ё!
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,825 Хия! Заткнитесь хиппи! Я убью тебя! Й-а!
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:27,480 С моей тонфой Таканавы я становлюсь великим и мощным ниндзя Шарохачи,
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,480 рождённым для борьбы со злом и людьми, которые мне не нравятся.
00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:32,155 Ага. А мой мои мощные нунчаки делают из меня Боунаку,
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:35,100 смертельно опастный, но сострадательный ниндзя, защищающий от неприятностей.
00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,820 Как твоё имя ниндзя, Кенни?
00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:42,815 Да. И я... Балрок.
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:46,650 Жестокий грубый ниндзя, который посвятил свою жизнь уничтожению мира хиппи.
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:50,060 Итак, ниндзя! Пошли защищать мир!
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:51,580 Набьём по жопе!
00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,645 Эй пацаны, знаете чё нам надо сделать?
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,210 Надо показать наше оружие Крейгу и его парням. Им будет завидно.
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:06,540 Не, чуваки, нам не надо показывать оружие людям. А то родители узнают.
00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:09,880 Вы видите, пацаны? Вот по этому евреи не могут быть ниндзя! Они безхребетные!
00:03:09,915 --> 00:03:12,605 Ты ни фига не знаешь о евреях, жирная жопа!
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,040 Да ну?! Моя мама водила меня смотреть кино Мела Гибсона, Страсти,
00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:17,490 и Мел Гибсон сказал, что вы ленивые и лживые.
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,900 И если Воин Дороги сказал это, то это правда.
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:21,810 Не переживай, Кайл, Крейг ничего не скажет.
00:03:21,845 --> 00:03:23,430 Идём, ниндзя, идём.
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:30,840 Ну вот, это здесь. Да. Резиденция одного... Крейга.
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,720 Я всё равно говорю - это плохая идея.
00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:35,140 В позицию ниндзя!
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,820 Привет, Крейг! Смотри чё у нас.
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,535 Где вы это взяли?
00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,970 Мы не можем сказать где мы это взяли! Это секрет ниндзя.
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,985 Ооо, это зависть я вижу в твоих глазах, Крейг?
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:52,710 Ммм, да, я тону в сладких водах этой зависти.
00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,890 Ну, ну, ничего в этом крутого. Ну да, "ничего в этом крутого".
00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:58,030 Это настоящее, подлинное оружие из Дальнего Востока.
00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,600 Но никому не говорите, что оно у нас есть.
00:03:59,635 --> 00:04:00,380 Уух.
00:04:00,870 --> 00:04:02,725 Вау! Где вы взяли? Дай посмотреть.
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,500 Э, мы не прочь поболтать, но у нас есть секретная работа, её надо делать.
00:04:05,535 --> 00:04:07,950 Да. У ниндзя жизнь сложна и опасна.
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,240 Пойдём ниндзя! Хо!
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,130 Пацаны, вы видели этот взгляд на лице Крейга?!
00:04:16,165 --> 00:04:17,540 Грозный такой!
00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:19,580 Чуваки, мы самые клёвые дети во всём штате!
00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:22,030 Паривет мужики. Чё случилось?
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,005 Мы играем в ниндзя, Баттерс.
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,740 Вавау! Эй, я могу поиграть в ниндзя с вами?
00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:29,145 Не, Баттерс. Мы избранная элитная бойцовская команда
00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:31,030 посланная для защиты мира от зла, и ты не можешь играть с нами.
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,345 Ага, Баттерс. Ты не сможешь быть классным ниндзя.
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:36,390 Пойдём, пацаны. У нас полно работы. Да, и совсем нет времени.
00:04:36,425 --> 00:04:37,240 Нет времени...
00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:43,240 Я думаю из меня бы получился очень класный ниндзя.
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:46,530 Блин, эти пацаны никогда не дают мне поиграть с ними.
00:04:46,565 --> 00:04:48,760 Они избегают меня всё время.
00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:52,950 Я - потеряная душа. Одинокая тёмная тень человека
00:04:52,985 --> 00:04:54,215 Привет, Баттерс. Привет, мам.
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:57,270 Покинутый, вынужденый жить в одиночестве.
00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:01,165 И поэтому со временем мне пришлось обратиться на сторону зла.
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,120 Общество отвергло меня, так что я поклялся заставить их всех заплатить.
00:05:04,155 --> 00:05:05,580 И они заплатят.
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,690 Никто не знает, что за этим чудным маленьким восьмилетним мальчиком находится самый злой,
00:05:09,725 --> 00:05:11,720 самый разрушительный суперзлодей всего времени!
00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:15,535 Професор Хаос!
00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:19,870 Посмотрим, как вам понравится иметь дело со мной, ниндзя!
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,360 O, Баттерс, ты снова идёшь играть?
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,545 Ага, мам, Я пойду ненадолго.
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,285 Хорошо, тогда будь сладеньким и отнеси этот пирог Томпсонам.
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,710 Я сделала его в благодарность за то, что они посидели с ребёнком на прошлой неделе.
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,580 Хорошо, окей-окей, мам.
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:47,760 Ба! Га!
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,265 Хм, это кажется неправильный путь.
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,610 Моё чувство ниндзя подсказывает мне, что мы, возможно, идём не в том направлении.
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,790 Окей, перерыв, пацаны. Я использовал свою специальную силу видеть будущее
00:06:04,825 --> 00:06:06,160 и узнал, куда мы должны направиться дальше.
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,615 Подождите, пацаны. Фактически я имею другую мощь.
00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:10,840 Я могу видеть будущее так же, но лучше чем Кайл.
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:11,550 Дай-ка я попробую.
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,620 Чё за хрень, Картман! Ты не можешь придумывать себе новые силы!
00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:15,420 Да, чувак, это уже пятая сила, которую ты себе придумал!
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:18,505 Я Балрог и у меня полно силы.
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,930 Нифига, задница! С этого момента у тебя только одна сила!
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:21,860 Ну, так чё?!
00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,140 У меня есть сила иметь всякие силы, которые я захочу.
00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:26,950 Так не пойдет, жопарь! Да, нефиг, Картман!
00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:28,130 Ты не будешь иметь разные силы!
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,685 Ну-у-у бли-и-ин!
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,595 Хааа хахаха!
00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:36,570 Так-так-так! Те самые четверо ниндзя!
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,400 Чё это за чёрт? Я не знаю.
00:06:39,435 --> 00:06:40,450 Крейг, это ты?
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:43,675 Дураки! Я Профессор Хаос!
00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:46,460 Несущий Разрушения и Гибель!
00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:50,070 Ваши слабые силы ниндзя - ничто для меня!
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,370 Похоже что у нас есть заклятый враг, пацаны.
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,715 Очень хорошо, Профессор Хаос! Мы поиграем.
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,890 Теперь получи пламенное жало моего тонфа Таканава!
00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,360 Эй ты, ты должен упасть. Не-а!
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,670 Да, я завалил тебя!
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,465 Не-а! Мой плащ сделан из... сплава титана,
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,910 поэтому я защищён от высокой температуры!
00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:18,410 Да это кусок говна! Моя жопа из сплава титана!
00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:23,160 Ну ладно, давайте посмотрим как ему понравятся ледяные ветры моих нунчак Сокаромото!
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,865 Неплохая попытка, ниндзя!
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:33,210 Но теперь вы оба должны ощутить силу моей Схватывающей Сети!
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:43,160 Ха-ха-ха-ха-ха! Вы попались в паутину!
00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:50,055 Ну всё, засранец! Время расплачиваться!
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:54,265 О нет! У меня нет силы! Кайл забрал их у меня!
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,070 Кайл, быстрее верни мне мои силы, чтобы я смог биться с этим злым злодеем!
00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:58,125 Хорошо, хорошо, возвращай себе свои силы.
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,780 Ну ладно! И теперь я использую свою силу и...
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:02,740 превращаю Кайла в цыплёнка! Бэ-э!
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,355 Бляха-муха, Картман!
00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:09,110 Ха-ха-ха-хааа ха! Кайл теперь цыплёнок! Ня-ня-ня-ня-няяя ня!
00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:15,730 Достаточно! Я утомлён вашей тупостью. Профессор Хаос не остановится!
00:08:15,765 --> 00:08:20,540 Да ну?! Кенни! Доставай свои звёздочки ниндзя!
00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:39,190 О, блядь, чуваки! Это Баттерс. Господи!
00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,100 О, чуваки! Оно застряло у него глазу!
00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:46,660 Чё за херню ты сделал, Кенни?!
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:51,045 Мне хреново! Оно болит! Ох, пацаны! У нас серьёзные проблемы!
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:56,130 Ш- шшш. Всё нормально, Баттерс. Успокойся, на самом деле ничего страшного.
00:08:56,165 --> 00:09:01,120 Но я... Но я... Но я ничего не вижу. Мне нужно в больницу-у-у!
00:09:01,155 --> 00:09:04,680 Хорошо, хорошо, успокойся, Баттерс! Всё будет хорошо!
00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:08,370 Пацаны, отойдём на секунду?
00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:10,800 Короче так, пацаны, нам надо успокоиться и сделать одно правильное дело.
00:09:10,835 --> 00:09:13,380 Нам надо убить Баттерса и закопать его на заднем дворе Кайла.
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,950 Чувак, заткнись! Я согласен с Картманом!
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:15,825 Чего?
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:19,000 Ты не понимаешь, что моя мама сделает со мной если узнает, что я играл с оружием!
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,720 Баттерс, просто не шевелись.
00:09:27,755 --> 00:09:30,330 Хх-а. Вв-а-а! Ва-аа-а!
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,185 Прекрати чувак! Ты повредишь ему мозг!
00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:35,620 Давай, поцарапай мозг, чтобы он забыл обо всём.
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:40,040 Пацаны, вы не сможете починить мне глаз! Отведите меня в больницу!
00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,310 Есль мы отведём его в больницу, все узнают что случилось.
00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:43,350 Чёрт побери!
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,620 Господи? Пожалуйста, если ты избавишь меня от всего этого
00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:48,780 я клянусь, я никогда не буду играть оружием.
00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:51,240 Так быстро не избавишься от ответственности ниндзя, Кайл.
00:09:51,275 --> 00:09:51,945 Ну что ж, давайте пацаны,
00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:54,430 конечно, легко быть ниндзя, когда всё идёт как ты хочешь,
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,280 но в подобные моменты, когда все валится из рук,
00:09:56,315 --> 00:09:58,200 ниндзя проявляет свой истиный характер.
00:09:58,740 --> 00:09:59,945 Воа, мне дурно. Заткнись, Баттерс.
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:02,500 Сейчас есть один выход из этого. Нам только нужно использовать...
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,860 рассудительность ниндзя.
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:08,085 Нам... нужен доктор... Но мы не можем идти в больницу.
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,150 Минутку. Погодите, погодите, как насчёт ветеринара?
00:10:11,185 --> 00:10:13,870 Доктор Шафлей? Ведь он старый и слеповат.
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:17,440 Итак, если мы сделаем Баттерса похожым на собаку,... Ооо нет.
00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:19,415 Мы смогли бы выдать его за нашего питомца.
00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,740 Охоо но, но мужики, если я, если я наряжусь как собака с звездой в глазу,
00:10:22,775 --> 00:10:24,200 я, мне придётся ползать.
00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:25,195 Заткнись, Баттерс!
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:27,760 Это самая дурацкая идея, которую вы когда либо придумывали!
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,160 Я ожидал бы такую глупость от Картмана, но ты, Стэн?
00:10:30,195 --> 00:10:32,360 Баттерсу немедленно нужно к врачу!
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,375 Хорошо, тогда ты отведёшь его в больницу.
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:36,400 Ты отведёшь его в больницу и позволишь своей маме узнать что произошло.
00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:44,800 Мне нужен клей "Момент". Нам нужно добавить сюда ещё меха.
00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:49,090 У- у от этого "Момента" у меня голова кружится.
00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:52,220 Баттерс! Мы пытаемся помочь тебе, чёрт возьми! Прекрати уже вести себя, как говнюк!
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:54,130 Нам надо ещё шерсти.
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,785 Я думаю так пойдёт.
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:01,280 Хорошо, послушаем как ты лаешь, Баттерс.
00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:03,850 О- о. Гав, га-гаав.
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:07,520 Хорошо. Теперь надо притащить его в город.
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,670 Окей, тут чисто.
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,430 Так, запомни, Баттерс, когда ты попадёшь в ветеринарную больницу
00:11:16,465 --> 00:11:17,650 тебе надо встать на четвереньки и -
00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:20,630 Баттерс, слушай! В ветбольнице тебе надо встать на четвереньки
00:11:20,665 --> 00:11:21,790 и как следует полаять.
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:25,620 Гагавф, гаф-гавф.
00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,575 Надо спешить, а то опоздаем!
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,760 О, бля, кто-то идёт! Быстро прячься, Баттерс!
00:11:30,795 --> 00:11:31,820 Сюда!
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,730 У- ух, но мужики, мне надо-
00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,585 Ага! Вот вы где!
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,400 Вы, пацаны, думали что вы такие клёвые, да?!
00:11:40,435 --> 00:11:43,350 Теперь смотрите чё есть у нас!
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:46,930 Фига себе, у вас тоже оружие? Где вы его взяли?
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:51,010 У к-к-к, у к-к-к, у кк-к - У клёвого парня на окружной ярмарке.
00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:52,420 Поначалу нам нужно было разрешение родителей,
00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:54,240 но мы сказали ему, что они умерли.
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:58,320 Чувак, теперь у каждого засера в городе есть оружие! Убогость!
00:11:58,355 --> 00:12:00,412 Итак, ниньзи, как насчёт битвы?
00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,435 О, не сейчас, Крейг, нам надо идти.
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:05,180 Вы не уйдёте отсюда, пока не защитите свою честь!
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:09,530 Он сказал не сейчас, Крейг! Я не Крейг, я Кейнда,
00:12:09,565 --> 00:12:13,195 с мощнейшим мечём китана. Йаа!
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:16,410 А я Чёрный Таку с силой превосходных заклинаний!
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,730 Пацаны, мы, мы на самом деле не играем, хорошо?
00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:29,015 Ч- ч-что, чё такое, мужики? Вы... ниндзя или письки?
00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:33,180 Мы дважды ниндзя, ты козлина! Тогда давайте биться!
00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:35,377 Ну ладно, Клайд. Кия-я-я!
00:12:35,412 --> 00:12:37,521 Я поклялся никогда не биться.
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,630 Нас прижали, Кайл. Не смеши их.
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,385 Субарушии чинчин моно
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:46,520 Кинтама но каме ару
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,430 рана неот ха "сару бобо"
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,020 Ййя! Ниндзя га имасу
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:56,865 Хей хей ну-ка кенка суру
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,930 Тайсетсу не мохо спасай мне яйца!
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:03,032 Бока дай варуи так дай боёв...
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:06,100 Дай бои любить! Дай бои любить!
00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:10,880 Коно ута чёто бака
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,360 Вэйк га вакаранай
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,350 Эйго да мечакуча
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,565 Дайёбу? Мы это делай всегда!
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,290 Хей хей ну-ка кенка суру...
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,670 Эй подождите, подождите! Подождите. Остановитесь на секунду. Где Баттерс?
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:30,510 О нет. Баттерс! Баттерс!
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,390 Ну, ништяк он ушёл, вы гавнюки! Из-за вас мы потеряли его!
00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:34,750 Кого потеряли? Баттерса!
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:37,620 У него в глазу застряла звёздочка, и мы вели его к ветеринару,
00:13:37,655 --> 00:13:39,330 когда вы устроили всю эту хуйню! Баттерс!
00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:41,045 Застряла в глазу? У него кровь?
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,820 Да-а-а, немного - Баттерс! Сейчас же вернись!
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,340 От блядь, пацаны, у вас проблемы. Мы валим отсюда!
00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,720 Не, чуваки, вы поможете нам найти его! Нахрен всё это!
00:13:48,755 --> 00:13:49,895 Мы здесь все вместе, Крейг!
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,180 Если Баттерс скажет про нас, мы скажем про вас, такой кодекс у ниндзя!
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:58,180 Э- эй? Кто-нибудь, ух...
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:08,400 Гав. Хав. Гавгав. Е- е. Гав, е-э. Гав.
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:13,165 Баттерс! Баттерс! Ко мне, Баттерс!
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,100 Баттерс! Баттерс! Баттерс! Ба бба ба ба баба Баттерс! Баттерс-Баттерс!
00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:18,140 Эй Баттерс! Баттерс! Смотрите, чуваки!
00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:27,860 Привет, рабятки! Привет, Шеф.
00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:28,555 Как гуляется?
00:14:28,590 --> 00:14:30,390 Плохо. Почему плохо?
00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:33,420 Ну-у-у, Шеф, ты случайно не видел в округе Баттерса?
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,765 Нет, не могу сказать что видел.
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,700 Эй, что вы, ребятки, делаете с этим оружием?
00:14:36,735 --> 00:14:38,710 Н- н-ничего, просто играем.
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:43,320 Не ладно, вы ребята будте осторожней с этим. А то выколете кому-нибудь глаз.
00:14:43,355 --> 00:14:43,955 Ага, мы знаем.
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,550 Ну а я направляюсь на ярмарку. Там скоро начнётся большой аукцион.
00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:49,150 До скорого, ребятки!
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,965 О господи!
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,810 Что это? Доктор? Доктор?
00:15:06,845 --> 00:15:08,160 Господи Иисусе.
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,220 Какой больной ублюдок сделал такое с собакой?
00:15:13,255 --> 00:15:15,330 Бедный маленький пёсик.
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,035 Гафгав.
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:20,025 Вы можете помочь ему, доктор?
00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:23,590 К сожалению я не знаю как. К несчастью этого маленького дружка, я лечу людей.
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,570 Лучше мы позвоним в приют для животных.
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:26,940 Прямо сейчас.
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,660 В прошлом эпизоде четверо ниндзя сражались с Профессором Хаос, несущим разрушение и гибель.
00:15:35,695 --> 00:15:39,192 В этой великой битве ниндзя мастер Кенни бросил свою звёздочку в глаз Профессора Хаос.
00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,690 Теперь у ниндзя серьёзные проблемы, потому что их родители могут узнать про оружие
00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:44,130 если Профессор Хаос расскажет обо всём.
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,800 При попытке предоставить помощь Профессору Хаос в ветеринарной больнице,
00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:48,720 четверо ниндзя столкнулись с Крейгом и его тремя друзьями.
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,610 Они бросили вызов четырем ниндзя бороться, и началось легендарное сражение Токатава.
00:15:52,645 --> 00:15:54,585 И в течении этого сражения Профессор Хаос сбежал,
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,850 так что четырём ниндзя пришлось обьеденится с Крейгом и его друзьями для поиска Профессора Хаос,
00:15:57,885 --> 00:15:59,930 иначе они все окажутся под домашним арестом.
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:05,640 Баттерс! Баттерс! Баттерс, ко мне! Баттерс! Баттерс!
00:16:05,675 --> 00:16:06,840 Баттерс! Где ты, чёрт возьми?!
00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,585 Бесполезно, чуваки! Баттерс обязательно посетит больницу.
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,990 Родители наверное уже знают, что мы играем с оружием!
00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:13,920 Мы должны избавится от свидетельств!
00:16:13,955 --> 00:16:14,405 Что?
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,990 Чуваки, нам надо избавится от нашего оружия и на крайняк, можем попробовать отрицать всё.
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,050 Не гони, чувак, я заплатил двадцать долларов за эти вещи!
00:16:20,085 --> 00:16:22,000 Ага, просто пойдём и вернём их и получим свои деньги назад.
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:25,010 У нас нет на это времени, чуваки! Нам надо избавиться от них! Прям щас!
00:16:25,045 --> 00:16:27,840 Окей. Давай, Кайл. Выбрось свои нунчаки.
00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:28,910 Если сможешь.
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:32,240 Но ты хорошо знаешь, что твоя еврейская кровь не позволит тебе сделать это.
00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:34,580 Ты не сможешь выкинуть что-то, стоившее тебе 15 баксов.
00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:35,660 Давай, попробуй.
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:37,210 Ни хрена, толстожопый!
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:41,215 Мел Гибсон был прав, Кайл.
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,780 Еврей в тебе сейчас кричит: "НЕТ! За это заплачено! Надо вернуть свои деньги!"
00:16:44,815 --> 00:16:46,550 Ты знаешь, что это так.
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,340 Давай же. Докажи, что Мел Гибсон не прав, Кайл.
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,130 Бросай!
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,165 Я, я не могу... Я не могу. Я...
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,130 Всё в порядке, Кайл. Мы пойдём на ярмарку и вернём.
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:17,140 Ко мне. Давай маленький дружок. Хороший пёсик.
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,950 Гав гаф.
00:17:20,510 --> 00:17:22,940 Вот сюда. Молодец. Давай. Иди сюда, вот сюда.
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,290 Ха-а-арошая собачка.
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,350 Гаааа!
00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:45,395 Кто же бросил звёздочку в глаз этого бедного пёсика?
00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:48,490 Мне очень больно от того, что некоторые люди способны на такое зверство.
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,870 Ну да ладно, мы ничего не можем сделать для него, давайте усыпим?
00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:54,380 Иди сюда, пёсик. У меня для тебя есть сладкая смерть.
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,485 Что тут? Взломано! Он сбежал!...
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,970 Ну да ладно, тогда усыпим другую собаку.
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,910 Отлично, ярмарка ещё открыта!
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:09,425 Чем помочь, ребята?
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,180 Мы пришли, что бы вернуть оружие, которое купили.
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,740 Ну, извините, ребята, я не принимаю обратно.
00:18:13,775 --> 00:18:16,150 Слушай, говнюк! Наши родители убьют нас и тебя,
00:18:16,185 --> 00:18:17,960 если узнают, что мы купили их здесь.
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,290 Кажется вы сказали мне, что ваши родители умерли.
00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:21,950 Чуваки! Чуваки! Чё такое, Крейг?
00:18:21,985 --> 00:18:23,315 Это Баттерс! Мы видели его!
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,530 Где?! На той стороне ярмарки. Он там ходит-бродит.
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,930 Мы не должны опоздать! Идём, ниндзя!
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:35,660 Итак, народ, наш следующий лот - эта прекрасная лампа 19-го века.
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,820 Вот дерьмо, чуваки. Все наши родители там.
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,177 Баттерс с той стороны.
00:18:39,212 --> 00:18:40,500 Мы должны закончить это!
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,470 Ну ладно. Кажется мне пора использовать мою силу невидимости.
00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:44,750 У тебя и такая есть?
00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:48,250 Я говорил тебе, у Балрога полно силы. Созерцай.
00:18:50,510 --> 00:18:54,180 Сквозь эту толпу я смогу пройти незамеченным.
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,760 Вот, придержи это для меня. Удачи, Балрог.
00:18:59,610 --> 00:19:02,680 Итак, эта лампа из состояния Эдны и Джеймса Холлинджера,
00:19:02,715 --> 00:19:04,810 который жил в провинциальных областях штата.
00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:08,520 Сделана из бронзы и листов настоящего золота вдоль основания.
00:19:08,555 --> 00:19:12,170 Это редкая возможность приобрести класический антиквариат.
00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:16,070 Эта лампа оценивается нашим персоналом в более чем две тысячи долларов.
00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:19,220 Итак мы начнём со стартовой цены в триста семьдесят пять.
00:19:19,255 --> 00:19:21,410 Итак я слушаю ваши ставки в триста семьдесят пять?
00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:37,060 Ребёнок, какого дьявола ты собрался тут делать?
00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:42,090 Хаба, Хава! Хавооаха!
00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:46,270 Баттерс!
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:51,240 Что с ним случилось? О господи!
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,325 О- о-о Иисус.
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,250 О чуваки, теперь нам попадёт.
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:02,530 Хорошо, господа, мы все чрезвычайно расстроены тем, что случилось.
00:20:02,565 --> 00:20:04,565 Но давайте попробуем говорить по порядку.
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,075 Ну ладно, как и все вы, я шокирован и потрясён тем что случилось!
00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:11,650 Я не знаю виноваты ли в этом родители, или это время в котором мы живём,
00:20:11,685 --> 00:20:14,010 но нужно что-то менять!
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:20,360 Это худшая вешь, произошедшая в этом городе! Наихудшая вешь!
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,335 Да! Я подразумеваю, дети видели этот аукцион!
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:28,920 И когда тот маленький восьмилетний мальчик крался и светил своим...
00:20:28,955 --> 00:20:31,660 пенисом... это произвол!
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,875 Что? Что?
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:40,300 И не только это, аукцион был показан по телевизору
00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:43,690 и моя маленькая дочь дома видела... пенис!
00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:46,175 Как я смогу обьяснить ей это?!
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,540 Это произошло потому, что мораль общества упала!
00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:54,280 Ты видишь какой ущерб ты нанёс, Эрик Картман?!
00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:55,900 О ЧЁМ ТЫ ДУМАЛ?!
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:58,810 Я сказал вам - это сбой гардероба!
00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:03,570 Чувак, они не беспокоятся что мы выбили глаз Баттерса?
00:21:03,605 --> 00:21:05,090 Просто согласись с ними, чувак.
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,095 Да, да! Я согласен!
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:11,940 Мм мой маленький восьмилетний разум не знает, как быть с тем, что я увидел.
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,260 К- Картман должен быт наказан!
00:21:14,295 --> 00:21:15,515 Да!
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:17,410 Эй, пошёл на хуй, Кайл!
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:20,265 Хе-е, я не могу поверить. Ага.
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,370 Я полагаю, родителям насрать на жестокость, если они озабочены сексуальными вещами.
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,680 Ну, я полагаю, это значит, что у нас останется наше оружие.
00:21:25,715 --> 00:21:27,630 Ага. Идём, ниндзя.
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,520 У нас есть неоконченные дела.
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:33,050 Хей-я!

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,388 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,288 [ Indistinct conversations ]
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,457 [ Laughing ]
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:40,666 - [ Pop ] - Stop it, Cartman.
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,835 [ Laughing ] That's so funny.
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,919 God damn it, Cartman!
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,380 Stop throwing those stupid poppy things at me!
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,923 Come on and take a look, folks.
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,468 We've got a lot of knives for sale here.
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:53,471 Oh, my God! Look!
00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:56,557 "Martial arts weapons from the Far East."
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,184 Wow. Cool.
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,186 Dude, we should each buy a weapon,
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,604 and then we'll be like ninjas.
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,732 Yeah! We won't have to take crap from anybody!
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,275 Our parents won't let us have weapons, dude.
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,860 Who's gonna tell them, dumb-ass?
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,029 Yeah. Our parents are gonna be at this stupid fair all day.
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,614 They'll never know what we bought.
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,657 I'll get the tonfas. Those are <i>so</i> sweet.
00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,159 CARTMAN: I'm gonna get those killer sai.
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,036 Look, Kenny, there's something even you can afford --
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,246 a ninja shuriken for $1.99.
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,790 Mrph rm!
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,458 Can I help you boys?
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,960 Yeah. We want to get one of each of these ninja weapons.
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,880 Okay. You need to have your parents here when you buy them.
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,841 I can't sell to anyone under 18 without parents' permission.
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,969 Parents?
00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,304 Parents?
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,890 Oh, God! [ Sobs ]
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,309 W-What's the matter?
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,937 [ Wailing ] No!
00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:45,606 We're brothers, see, and our parents died
00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,233 in a car accident last year.
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,818 Why?!
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,236 - Why?! - [ Sobs ]
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,279 Why did you have to take them both?!
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,364 Why?!
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:56,367 [ Sobs ]
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,952 [ Sobs ]
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,912 Why do people have to keep reminding us
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,039 of what we don't have?!
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,166 It's -- It's all right, boys. Don't cry.
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,336 I'll -- I'll just go pack these up for you, okay?
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,048 God damn. That's like the 12th time that's worked.
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,052 [ Grunting, shrieking ]
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,390 Kyah! Kyah!
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,808 Tai-yo!
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:21,767 Gyah!
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,144 Shut up, hippies! I'll kill you!
00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:24,061 Yah!
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,437 With my tonfa of Takanawa,
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,815 I become the great and powerful ninja Shadowhachi --
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,067 born to fight evil and people I don't like.
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,570 Yeah, and my powerful nunchucks make me into Bunraku --
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:35,948 a deadly but compassionate ninja who protects those in trouble.
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,324 What's your ninja name, Kenny?
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:41,537 Mrph rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,289 Yes, and I am Bulrog --
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,249 a tough, brute ninja who has dedicated his life
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,293 to eradicating the world from hippies.
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,129 All right, ninjas. Let's go protect the world.
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,505 Kick-ass.
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,507 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,970 You guys, you know what we should do?
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,097 We should go show our weapons to Craig and those guys.
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,182 They'll be so jealous.
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:02,641 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,935 No, dude. We can't go around showing our weapons to people.
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,645 Our parents might find out we have them.
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,481 Ugh. You see, guys, this is why Jews can't be ninjas.
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,025 They've got no spine.
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,818 You don't know anything about Jews, fat-ass!
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,571 My mom took me to see Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion,"
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,948 and Mel Gibson says you are snakes and you are liars.
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,242 And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,411 Don't worry, Kyle. Craig's not gonna tell on us.
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,205 Come, ninjas. Let's go.
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,957 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,375 All right. This is it.
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,253 Yes. The residence that belongs to the one called Craig.
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,047 I still say this is a bad idea.
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,506 [ Wind whistling ]
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:35,841 Ninja positions.
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,176 Ha!
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,429 Hello, Craig.
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,057 Look what we got.
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,100 Where'd you get those?
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,436 We can't tell you where. It's secret ninja stuff.
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,688 Ooh, is that jealously I see in your eyes, Craig?
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,648 Mm, yes.
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:53,192 Drown me in the sweet water of your envy.
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,110 Uh, th-they're not <i>that</i> cool.
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,237 Yeah, they're not <i>that</i> cool.
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,364 These are real, authentic weapons from the Far East.
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,032 But don't tell anybody we have them.
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:00,866 Ugh.
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,285 - Whoa! Where'd you get those? - Let me see!
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,411 Uh, we'd love to hang out, guys,
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,871 but we have important secret work to do.
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,624 Yes, the life of a ninja is complex and full of peril.
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,875 Come on, ninjas.
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,794 - Ho! - Mrph!
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,632 Oh, man, did you see the look on Craig's face?!
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,050 That was awesome!
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,261 Dude, we're like the coolest kids in the whole state.
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,638 Hey, fellas. What's happening?
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,515 We're playing ninjas, Butters.
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,142 Wow-ee! Hey, can I play ninjas with you?
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,018 No, Butters.
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,436 We are a very select elite fighting team sent
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,355 to protect the world from evil, and you can't play with us.
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,773 Yeah. You wouldn't make a very good ninja.
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,150 Come on, guys. We have a lot of work to do.
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,652 Yes, and no time to do it.
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,903 No time.
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,284 I think I'd make a really good ninja.
00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,660 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,162 Geez, those guys never let me play with them.
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,415 They just shun me all the time.
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,874 I'm a lost soul --
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,876 a dark, lonely shadow of a person.
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,670 - Hi, Butters. - Hi, Mom.
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:58,424 A castaway forced to live his life out in solitude.
00:04:58,549 --> 00:04:59,883 It is because of times like these
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:01,552 I was forced to a life of evil.
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:02,970 Society cast me out,
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,596 and so I vowed to make them all pay!
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:05,889 And pay they did.
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,141 Nobody knows that beneath
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,393 this sweet, eight-year-old little boy lies the most evil,
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,687 most destructive supervillain of all time!
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,856 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,567 Professor Chaos!
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,237 Let's see how you like dealing with me, ninjas!
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,281 [ Laughs evilly ]
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,703 Bah!
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,204 Bah!
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,664 [ Grunts ]
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,709 Ooh, Butters. Are you going out to play again?
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,046 Yeah, Mom, I'm just going outside for a little while.
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,130 Well, could you be a sweetie
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,965 and take that pie over there to the Thompsons?
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,259 I made it to thank them for babysitting you last week.
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,803 Oh. Ok-- Okay, Mom.
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,183 Gah! Aah!
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,310 Buh! Ugh!
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228 Buh!
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,646 [ Grunts ]
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,858 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,735 STAN: Hmm. This doesn't seem to be the right way.
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,861 My ninja sense is telling me
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,237 we might be heading in the wrong direction.
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,280 Okay. Hang on, guys.
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,199 I'll use my special power to see into the future
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,076 and find out where we should head next.
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,203 Hold on, you guys. I actually have another power.
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,038 I can see into the future, too, but better than Kyle.
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,039 Let me try.
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,916 God damn it, Cartman, you can't keep making up powers!
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,126 Yeah, dude. That's like the fifth power you've come up with.
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,879 I am Bulrog, and I have lots and lots of powers.
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,173 No, asshole! From now on, you only get to have one power.
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,299 So what is it?
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427 I have the power to have all the powers I want.
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,595 That doesn't count, fat-ass!
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,680 Yeah, that's it, Cartman. You don't get any powers.
00:06:28,806 --> 00:06:30,516 [ Whines ]
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,768 BUTTERS: Hah! Ha ha ha ha!
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,897 Well, well, well. If it isn't the four ninjas.
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,775 - Who the hell is that? - I don't know.
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,068 Craig, is that you?
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,319 Fools!
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:46,824 I am Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and doom!
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:50,077 Your feeble ninja powers are no match for me!
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:50,994 Whoa.
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,955 Looks like we have a sworn enemy, you guys.
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:53,789 Mrph!
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,125 Very well, Professor Chaos. We'll play along.
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,585 Now feel the fiery sting of my tonfa of Takanawa!
00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,753 Hyah!
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,256 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,926 [ Laughs evilly ]
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,761 Hey, kid, that knocks you down.
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,846 Nunh-unh.
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,013 Yeah-huh. I got you.
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:13,684 Nunh-unh, because my cloak is made of a titanium alloy
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,310 that shields me from heat!
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,689 That's bullcrap! Titanium alloy, my ass.
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,649 KYLE: Well, let's see how he likes the icy blast
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,984 of my nunchucks of Kuramoto!
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,569 Ha!
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:25,446 Aah!
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:27,197 [ Grunts ]
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,408 Uh, nice attempt, ninja.
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:34,079 But now both of you shall feel the power of my Web of Holding!
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:37,875 - Aah! - Aah!
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543 - Ugh! - Ugh!
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,836 [ Laughs evilly ]
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,380 Now you are both trapped in spider webs.
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,090 [ Electricity crackles ]
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,717 [ Both grunting ]
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,802 All right, dickhole. Time for you to pay.
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,597 [ Creaking ]
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,683 Oh, no. I have no powers. Kyle took them away from me.
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,768 Kyle, give me back my powers so I can fight this evil villain!
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,562 Okay, okay. You can have your powers back.
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,398 All right. And now I'll use my power to...
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,567 turn Kyle into a chicken! Bah!
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,110 God damn it, Cartman!
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,653 ♪ Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha! ♪
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,988 ♪ Now you are a chicken ♪
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,490 ♪ Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah! ♪
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,491 Enough!
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,160 I grow weary of your foolishness.
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,829 Professor Chaos cannot be stopped.
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,707 Oh, yeah? Kenny, use your ninja star!
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,251 Mrph! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,005 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,299 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,428 [ Birds chirping ]
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,305 Aaaaaah!
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,307 [ Wailing ]
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,309 Oh, shit, dude.
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,852 Butters! Oh, my God.
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,480 [ Wailing, sobbing ]
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,398 Oh, dude, it's stuck in his eye.
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,108 What the hell did you do that for, Kenny?!
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,069 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,154 It hurts! It hurts!
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,240 Oh, man! We are in serious trouble!
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,491 [ Screaming ]
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,535 Shh! Shh! It's okay, Butters. Calm down.
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,078 I-It's not that bad. Really.
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,913 But I can't see nothin'.
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,290 I got to go to the hospital!
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,251 [ Wails ]
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,253 Okay, okay. Calm down, Butters. It'll be okay.
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,546 [ Gasping ]
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,756 Guys, meeting over here for a second.
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,132 All right, you guys.
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,510 We need to stay calm and just do the right thing.
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,762 We have to kill Butters and bury him in Kyle's backyard.
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,680 Dude, shut up.
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,764 - I agree with Cartman. - What?!
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,432 You don't understand what my mom will do to me
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,142 if she finds out I was playing with weapons!
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,900 Just stay still, Butters.
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,402 Uh...
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:30,988 Uh... [ Screams ]
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,240 Stop, dude! You're gonna scramble his brain!
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,534 Go ahead and scramble it. He won't remember it was us.
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:36,994 You guys can't fix my eyeball!
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,913 You have to take me to the hospital!
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:40,956 If we take him to the hospital,
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,207 they're gonna find out what happened.
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,458 God damn it!
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,044 God, please, if you get me out of this,
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,463 I swear I'll never play with weapons ever again.
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,549 Don't be so quick to throw off your ninja responsibility, Kyle.
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:51,758 Now, come on, guys.
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,010 Sure, it's easy to be a ninja
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,344 when everything's going your way.
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,388 But it's time likes these, when the chips are down,
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,056 that a ninja shows his true character.
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,349 I-I'm getting woozy.
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,351 Shut up, Butters. Now, there's a way out of this.
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,687 We just have to use our ninja reasoning.
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:09,067 We need a doctor, but we can't go to the hospital.
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,986 Wait a minute. Wait, wait. What about the veterinarian?
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,112 Dr. Shafley?
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,780 He's really old and going blind.
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,450 So if we make Butters up to look like a dog...
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,326 Oh, no.
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,869 We might pass him off as our pet.
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,329 But -- But, fellas, if I --
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,414 if I dress up like a dog with a star in my eye,
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,915 I'm gonna get grounded!
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,125 - Shut up, Butters! - Shut up, Butters!
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,669 That is the dumbest idea you guys have ever come up with!
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,172 I'd expect this stupidity out of Cartman, but you, Stan?
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,090 Butters needs medical attention right now!
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,967 All right. Then you take him to the hospital, Kyle.
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:34,968 You take him to the hospital
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,387 and let your mom find out what happened.
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,514 [ Whimpering ]
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,686 Hand me the modeling glue. We need more fur over here.
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,104 [ Coughs ]
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,940 That modeling glue is making me dizzy.
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,651 Butters, we're trying to help you, god damn it!
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,277 Now stop being such an asshole!
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,570 We need some more fur.
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,365 [ Shaver buzzes ]
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,242 I think that's good.
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,911 Okay. Let's hear your bark, Butters.
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,955 [ Whimpering ] Woof. W-Woof?
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,875 All right. Now we've just got to sneak him into town.
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,169 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,214 Okay. It's clear.
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,715 [ Whimpering ]
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,926 Now, remember, Butters -- When you get to the vet's office,
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,762 you need to stay down on all fours and -- Butters, listen!
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,306 At the vet's office, stay down on all fours and bark a lot.
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,058 [ Whimpering ]
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,727 Woof. Woof. Woof.
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,062 We've got to hurry. It's getting late.
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,146 [ Metal clanks ]
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,649 - Oh, shit. Somebody's coming. - Quick! Hide Butters!
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:31,775 In here!
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,028 But -- But, fellas, I got --
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,864 CRAIG: Aha! There you are.
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,200 You guys thought you were so cool, didn't you?
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,327 Well, look at what we got.
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,414 No way. You got weapons, too?
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:46,540 Where'd you get those?
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,792 From the kn-kn-- From the kn-- From the --
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,460 From the knife guy at the county fair.
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,379 At first he said we needed our parents' permission,
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,172 but then we told him our parents were dead.
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,758 Aw, man, now every douchebag in town has a ninja weapon!
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,759 Lame!
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,470 So, how would you ninjas like to do battle?
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,472 Uh, not now, Craig. We -- We have to be going.
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,058 You can't pass through this area until you defend your honor!
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,685 He said not now, Craig!
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,769 I am not Craig.
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,732 I am Ginza -- with the powerful blade of the kintama.
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,607 Yah!
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,443 And I am Black Chaku --
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,403 with the power of perfect spelling!
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,780 Guys, we're -- we're really not playing, okay?
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,949 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,621 W-What -- What's the matter, f-fellas?
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,708 Are you n-ninjas or p-p-pussies?
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,793 We're twice the ninjas you fags are!
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:32,794 Then fight us.
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,672 Very well, Clyde. Yah!
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,257 I swore to never fight again.
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,217 We don't have a choice, Kyle. Just humor them.
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,177 Yah!
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,386 - Yah! - Yah!
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,473 MAN: ♪ Suba-ra-shi chin chin mono ♪
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,434 ♪ Kintama no kame aru ♪
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,312 ♪ Sore no oto saru bo bo ♪
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,732 ♪ Iye! Ninja ga imas-u-u-u-u-u-u ♪
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,818 ♪ Hey, hey, let's go kenka suru ♪
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,696 ♪ Taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,449 ♪ Boku ga warui so let's fighting ♪
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,660 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,997 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,625 ♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,711 ♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,339 ♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,675 ♪ Daijobu we do it all the time ♪
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,469 ♪ Hey, hey, let's go kenka suru -- ♪
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,596 Wait, wait! Wait, wait! Wa--
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,473 Hold on a second. Where's Butters?
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,184 Oh, no. Butters!
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,852 Butters!
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,188 Oh, nice going, you assholes! You made us lose him!
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,439 - Lose who? - Butters!
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,899 He got a ninja star stuck in his eye.
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,151 And we were taking him to the vet when you fucked it all up!
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,069 Butters?!
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,904 Stuck in his eye? Was he bleeding?
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,280 Y-Yeah, a little. Butters!
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,324 - Get back here right now! - Oh, shit.
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,909 You guys are in trouble. We're out of here!
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,702 No, dude! You got to help us find him!
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,454 - To hell with that! - We're in this together, Craig!
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,122 If Butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you.
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,457 That's ninja code.
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,668 [ Whimpering ]
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,753 Hello?
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,630 Anybody?
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,632 Woof. Woof?
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,551 Woof-woof. [ Whimpers ]
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,511 Woof?
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,012 Woof?
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,308 - STAN: Butters? - KYLE: Butters?
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,518 - Here, Butters! - Mrph!
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,894 - Butters! - Butters!
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,063 B-B-B-B-Butters?
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,398 - Butters! - Hey, Butters!
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,524 Dude, look!
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,901 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,575 Hello, there, children.
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,410 - ALL: Hey, Chef. - How's it going?
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,495 - Bad. - Why bad?
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,998 Uh, Chef, you haven't seen Butters around, have you?
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,541 No, can't say that I have.
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,710 Hey, what are you children doing with those weapons?
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,628 N-Nothing. Just...playing.
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,630 Well, you children should be careful with those.
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,591 You could put somebody's eye out.
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,884 Yeah, we know.
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,594 Well, I got to get to the fairgrounds.
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,470 They're about to start the big auction.
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,471 So long, children.
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,223 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,434 [ Mumbling ]
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,900 Woof. Woof!
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,776 Woof-woof!
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,194 Oh, my God.
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,822 What the -- Doctor! Doctor!
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,866 Jesus Christ.
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,910 [ Groaning ]
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,747 What kind of sick bastard would do this to a dog?
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:14,915 Poor little pup.
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:15,957 [ Moans ]
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667 Woof-woof?
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,294 Can you help him, Doctor?
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,712 I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,465 Unfortunately for this little fella, I'm a people doctor.
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,133 Best we call the animal shelter.
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,885 Right away.
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,932 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,184 NARRATOR: In our last episode, the four ninjas did battle
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,227 with Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and doom.
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,438 It was during that great battle that ninja master Kenny
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,940 threw his star into Professor Chaos' eye.
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,483 Now the ninjas were in serious trouble
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,360 because their parents might find out they had weapons
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,611 if Professor Chaos told on them.
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,029 While trying to get Professor Chaos some aid
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,364 at the veterinarian's office,
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,324 the four ninjas ran into Craig and his three friends.
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,034 They challenged the four ninjas to fight,
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,661 and the legendary battle of Tokutawa began.
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,121 It was during this battle that Professor Chaos escaped,
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,581 so the four ninjas were forced to join forces
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,541 with Craig and his friends to find Professor Chaos,
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377 or else they would all be grounded.
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,628 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,796 - Butters? - Butters?
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,964 - Here, Butters. - Mrph!
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,131 - Butters? - Butters!
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,633 Butters, where the hell are you?
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,801 It's hopeless, dude.
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,344 Butters must have made it to the hospital.
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,763 By now our parents probably know we were playing with weapons!
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,306 We have to get rid of the evidence!
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,224 What?
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,934 Dude, we have to get rid of our weapons
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,978 so at least we can try to deny everything.
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,188 Screw that, dude. I paid 20 bucks for these things.
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,982 Let's just return them and get our money back.
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191 We don't have time for that, dude!
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,026 We just have to ditch them -- now!
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,862 Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw your nunchucks away.
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:28,989 If you can.
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,200 But you know damn well that your Jewish blood won't let you.
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,411 You can't throw away something you paid 15 bucks for.
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,495 Go ahead and try.
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,497 Screw you, fat-ass!
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,499 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,001 Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,836 Right now the Jew in you is screaming, "No!
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,713 Those cost money. Get your money back."
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,214 You know this to be true.
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,341 [ Grunting ]
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:50,677 Go ahead.
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,388 Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle. Do it.
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,307 [ Grunting ]
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,726 Aah!
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,188 I-I can't do it.
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,815 I can't do it. I...
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,025 It's all right, Kyle.
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,027 We'll go back to the fair and return them.
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,779 [ Dogs barking, cats meowing ]
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,575 Come on.
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,036 Come on, little fella.
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,287 Attaboy.
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,165 [ Mumbling ]
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,584 Right over here. Good dog. Come on.
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,419 There you go. Right in there.
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,171 <i>Good</i> dog.
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,214 [ Mumbling ]
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,842 [ Dog sniffing ]
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,478 - Aah! - [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:45,065 Somebody threw a ninja star in that poor puppy's eye?
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,942 It just makes me sick how some people can treat animals.
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,695 Well, nothing we can do for it. Let's put it to sleep, shall we?
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,238 Here you go, pup.
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,157 I've got a sweet dose of murder for you.
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,327 What the -- Blast it! He's escaped!
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,411 Oh, well.
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,622 Let's murder one of these other dogs.
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,250 KYLE: All right! The county fair's still open.
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,172 Can I help you boys?
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,007 We have come to return the weapons we purchased.
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,343 Oh, sorry, kids. I don't give refunds.
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,012 Listen, doucher, our parents are gonna kill us -- and you --
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,847 if they find out that we bought these.
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,682 I thought you told me your parents were dead.
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,810 - You guys! You guys! - What is it, Craig?
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,228 - It's Butters! We saw him! - Where?!
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,896 Right on the other side of the fairgrounds.
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,189 He's just wandering around aimlessly.
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,691 - Then it's <i>not</i> too late! - Come on, ninjas.
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,819 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,987 All right, folks, our next item up for auction
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,156 is this lovely 19th-century lamp.
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,700 Oh, crap, dude. All our parents are there.
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,119 Butters was right on the other side.
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,662 - We have to get past them. - All right.
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,373 Looks like I'll have to use my power of invisibility to get by.
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,624 You have <i>that</i> power, too?
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626 I told you -- Bulrog has lots and lots of powers.
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,752 Behold.
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:54,634 This way, I can move about the crowd of people undetected.
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,262 - Here. Hold this stuff for me. - Good luck, Bulrog.
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,142 This lamp comes from the estate of Edna and James Holinger,
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,352 who lived in upstate Wyoming.
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,856 It has a bronze finish and actual gold leaf along the base.
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,275 This is a really rare opportunity
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,985 to own a classic antique.
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,028 The lamp has been appraised by our auction staff
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,822 at well over $2,000,
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,241 so we're gonna start the bidding at $375.
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,952 Do I -- Do I hear $375?
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,956 [ Birds chirping ]
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,384 Kid, what the hell do you think you're doing?
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,139 [ Babbling ]
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,476 Butters!
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,187 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,438 What happened to him?
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,607 Oh, my God!
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:51,691 Oh, Jesus.
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,735 Oh, dude, we are gonna get it now.
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,154 [ Indistinct shouting ]
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,532 All right, people.
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,993 We are all extremely upset over what's happened,
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,828 but let's try to speak one at a time.
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,371 Well, like the rest of you,
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,624 I am shocked and appalled at what happened.
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,584 I don't know if the parents are to blame
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,419 or if it's the times we're living in,
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,379 but something has to change!
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,381 [ Indistinct shouting ]
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,218 This is the worst thing that's ever happened in this town --
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,427 the worst thing!
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,262 [ Indistinct shouting ]
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,180 Yeah!
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:25,016 I mean, there were children watching that auction.
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,893 And when that little eight-year-old boy
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,272 walked up and flashed his... penis, it was an outrage!
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,774 [ Indistinct shouting ]
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,025 I was outraged!
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,526 What?
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,110 What?
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:40,031 Not only that, the auction was televised on public access.
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,743 So my little daughter watching at home saw the...penis.
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,620 How am I supposed to explain that to her?
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,829 This is what happens
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,123 when the moral fabric of society breaks down.
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,918 - Yeah! - It's the fabric's fault!
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,087 You see the damage you've caused, Eric Cartman?
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,255 What were you thinking?!
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,424 I told you -- It was a wardrobe malfunction.
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,301 - That's bull! - No way!
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,429 Dude, they don't care we knocked Butters' eye out with weapons?
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,515 Just run with it, dude.
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,142 Uh, yeah. I agree!
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,978 Uh, my fragile little eight-year-old mind
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,854 didn't know how to deal with what I was seeing.
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,064 Cartman should be punished!
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,024 - Yeah! That's right! - I agree!
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,484 Hey, fuck you, Kyle!
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,321 - Dude, I-I can't believe it. - Yeah!
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,031 I guess parents don't give a crap about violence
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,491 if there's sex things to worry about.
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,827 So I guess this means we get to keep our weapons.
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,412 Yeah. Come on, ninjas.
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,081 We've got some more work to do.
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,083 - ALL: Hyah! - ♪ Hey, hey, let's go ♪
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,668 ♪ Kenka suru ♪
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,337 ♪ Taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,799 ♪ Boku ga warui so let's fighting ♪
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,593 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,555 ♪ Let's fighting love ♪
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,182 ♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,477 ♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,397 ♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,567 ♪ Daijobu we do it all the time ♪
00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,486 ♪ Hey, hey, let's go kenka suru ♪
00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,115 ♪ Taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪

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