Славные времена с оружием

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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Stop it, Cartman.

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That's so funny.

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God damn it, Cartman!

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Stop throwing those

stupid poppy things at me!

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Come on and take a look, folks.

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We've got a lot of knives

for sale here.

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Oh, my God!

Look!

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"Martial arts weapons

from the Far East."

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Wow. Cool.

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Dude, we should each buy

a weapon,

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and then we'll be like ninjas.

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Yeah! We won't have to

take crap from anybody!

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Our parents won't let us

have weapons, dude.

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Who's gonna tell them,

dumb-ass?

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Yeah. Our parents are gonna be

at this stupid fair all day.

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They'll never know

what we bought.

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I'll get the tonfas.

Those are so sweet.

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I'm gonna get those killer sai.

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Look, Kenny, there's something

even you can afford --

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a ninja shuriken for $1.99.

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Mrph rm!

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Can I help you boys?

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Yeah. We want to get one of each

of these ninja weapons.

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Okay. You need to have your

parents here when you buy them.

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I can't sell to anyone under 18

without parents' permission.

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Parents?

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Parents?

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Oh, God!

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W-What's the matter?

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No!

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We're brothers, see,

and our parents died

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in a car accident last year.

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Why?!

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Why?!

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Why did you have to

take them both?!

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Why?!

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Why do people have to

keep reminding us

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of what we don't have?!

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It's -- It's all right, boys.

Don't cry.

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I'll -- I'll just go pack

these up for you, okay?

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God damn. That's like

the 12th time that's worked.

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Kyah! Kyah!

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Tai-yo!

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Gyah!

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Shut up, hippies!

I'll kill you!

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Yah!

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With my tonfa of Takanawa,

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I become the great and powerful

ninja Shadowhachi --

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born to fight evil

and people I don't like.

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Yeah, and my powerful nunchucks

make me into Bunraku --

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a deadly but compassionate ninja

who protects those in trouble.

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What's your ninja name, Kenny?

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Mrph rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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Yes, and I am Bulrog --

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a tough, brute ninja

who has dedicated his life

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to eradicating the world

from hippies.

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All right, ninjas.

Let's go protect the world.

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Kick-ass.

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You guys,

you know what we should do?

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We should go show our weapons

to Craig and those guys.

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They'll be so jealous.

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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No, dude. We can't go around

showing our weapons to people.

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Our parents might find out

we have them.

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Ugh. You see, guys, this is why

Jews can't be ninjas.

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They've got no spine.

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You don't know anything

about Jews, fat-ass!

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My mom took me to see Mel

Gibson's movie "The Passion,"

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and Mel Gibson says you are

snakes and you are liars.

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And if the Road Warrior says it,

it must be true.

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Don't worry, Kyle.

Craig's not gonna tell on us.

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Come, ninjas.

Let's go.

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All right.

This is it.

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Yes. The residence that belongs

to the one called Craig.

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I still say this is a bad idea.

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Ninja positions.

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Ha!

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Hello, Craig.

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Look what we got.

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Where'd you get those?

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We can't tell you where.

It's secret ninja stuff.

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Ooh, is that jealously

I see in your eyes, Craig?

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Mm, yes.

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Drown me in the sweet water

of your envy.

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Uh, th-they're not that cool.

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Yeah, they're not that cool.

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These are real, authentic

weapons from the Far East.

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But don't tell anybody

we have them.

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Ugh.

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- Whoa! Where'd you get those?

- Let me see!

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Uh, we'd love to hang out, guys,

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but we have important

secret work to do.

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Yes, the life of a ninja

is complex and full of peril.

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Come on, ninjas.

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- Ho!

- Mrph!

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Oh, man, did you see

the look on Craig's face?!

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That was awesome!

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Dude, we're like the coolest

kids in the whole state.

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Hey, fellas.

What's happening?

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We're playing ninjas, Butters.

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Wow-ee!

Hey, can I play ninjas with you?

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No, Butters.

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We are a very select

elite fighting team sent

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to protect the world from evil,

and you can't play with us.

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Yeah. You wouldn't make

a very good ninja.

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Come on, guys.

We have a lot of work to do.

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Yes, and no time to do it.

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No time.

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I think I'd make

a really good ninja.

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Geez, those guys never

let me play with them.

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They just shun me all the time.

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I'm a lost soul --

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a dark, lonely shadow

of a person.

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- Hi, Butters.

- Hi, Mom.

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A castaway forced to live

his life out in solitude.

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It is because of times

like these

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I was forced to a life of evil.

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Society cast me out,

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and so I vowed

to make them all pay!

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And pay they did.

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Nobody knows that beneath

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this sweet, eight-year-old

little boy lies the most evil,

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most destructive supervillain

of all time!

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Professor Chaos!

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Let's see how you like

dealing with me, ninjas!

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Bah!

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Bah!

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Ooh, Butters.

Are you going out to play again?

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Yeah, Mom, I'm just going

outside for a little while.

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Well, could you be a sweetie

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and take that pie over there

to the Thompsons?

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I made it to thank them

for babysitting you last week.

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Oh.

Ok-- Okay, Mom.

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Gah! Aah!

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Buh! Ugh!

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Buh!

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Hmm. This doesn't seem

to be the right way.

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My ninja sense is telling me

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we might be heading

in the wrong direction.

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Okay.

Hang on, guys.

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I'll use my special power

to see into the future

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and find out

where we should head next.

00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,203

Hold on, you guys.

I actually have another power.

00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,038

I can see into the future, too,

but better than Kyle.

00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,039

Let me try.

00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,916

God damn it, Cartman,

you can't keep making up powers!

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Yeah, dude. That's like the

fifth power you've come up with.

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I am Bulrog, and I have

lots and lots of powers.

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No, asshole! From now on,

you only get to have one power.

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So what is it?

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I have the power

to have all the powers I want.

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That doesn't count, fat-ass!

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Yeah, that's it, Cartman.

You don't get any powers.

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Hah! Ha ha ha ha!

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Well, well, well.

If it isn't the four ninjas.

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- Who the hell is that?

- I don't know.

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Craig, is that you?

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Fools!

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I am Professor Chaos,

bringer of destruction and doom!

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Your feeble ninja powers

are no match for me!

00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:50,994

Whoa.

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Looks like we have

a sworn enemy, you guys.

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Mrph!

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Very well, Professor Chaos.

We'll play along.

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Now feel the fiery sting

of my tonfa of Takanawa!

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Hyah!

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Hey, kid, that knocks you down.

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Nunh-unh.

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Yeah-huh.

I got you.

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Nunh-unh, because my cloak

is made of a titanium alloy

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that shields me from heat!

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That's bullcrap!

Titanium alloy, my ass.

00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,649

Well, let's see

how he likes the icy blast

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of my nunchucks of Kuramoto!

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Ha!

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Aah!

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Uh, nice attempt, ninja.

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But now both of you shall feel

the power of my Web of Holding!

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- Aah!

- Aah!

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- Ugh!

- Ugh!

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Now you are both trapped

in spider webs.

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All right, dickhole.

Time for you to pay.

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Oh, no. I have no powers.

Kyle took them away from me.

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Kyle, give me back my powers so

I can fight this evil villain!

00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,562

Okay, okay.

You can have your powers back.

00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,398

All right.

And now I'll use my power to...

00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,567

turn Kyle into a chicken!

Bah!

00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,110

God damn it, Cartman!

00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,653

♪ Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha! ♪

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♪ Now you are a chicken ♪

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♪ Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah,

nyah-nyah! ♪

00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,491

Enough!

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I grow weary

of your foolishness.

00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,829

Professor Chaos

cannot be stopped.

00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,707

Oh, yeah?

Kenny, use your ninja star!

00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,251

Mrph!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,005

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,305

Aaaaaah!

00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,309

Oh, shit, dude.

00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,852

Butters!

Oh, my God.

00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,398

Oh, dude,

it's stuck in his eye.

00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,108

What the hell did you do

that for, Kenny?!

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,069

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,154

It hurts!

It hurts!

00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,240

Oh, man!

We are in serious trouble!

00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,535

Shh! Shh! It's okay, Butters.

Calm down.

00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,078

I-It's not that bad.

Really.

00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,913

But I can't see nothin'.

00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,290

I got to go to the hospital!

00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,253

Okay, okay. Calm down, Butters.

It'll be okay.

00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,756

Guys, meeting over here

for a second.

00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,132

All right, you guys.

00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,510

We need to stay calm

and just do the right thing.

00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,762

We have to kill Butters

and bury him in Kyle's backyard.

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,680

Dude, shut up.

00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,764

- I agree with Cartman.

- What?!

00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,432

You don't understand

what my mom will do to me

00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,142

if she finds out I was

playing with weapons!

00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,900

Just stay still, Butters.

00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,402

Uh...

00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:30,988

Uh...

00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,240

Stop, dude!

You're gonna scramble his brain!

00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,534

Go ahead and scramble it.

He won't remember it was us.

00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:36,994

You guys can't fix my eyeball!

00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,913

You have to take me

to the hospital!

00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:40,956

If we take him to the hospital,

00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,207

they're gonna find out

what happened.

00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,458

God damn it!

00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,044

God, please,

if you get me out of this,

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,463

I swear I'll never play

with weapons ever again.

00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,549

Don't be so quick to throw off

your ninja responsibility, Kyle.

00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:51,758

Now, come on, guys.

00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,010

Sure, it's easy to be a ninja

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,344

when everything's going

your way.

00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,388

But it's time likes these,

when the chips are down,

00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,056

that a ninja shows

his true character.

00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,349

I-I'm getting woozy.

00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,351

Shut up, Butters.

Now, there's a way out of this.

00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,687

We just have to use

our ninja reasoning.

00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:09,067

We need a doctor,

but we can't go to the hospital.

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,986

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

What about the veterinarian?

00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,112

Dr. Shafley?

00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,780

He's really old and going blind.

00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,450

So if we make Butters up

to look like a dog...

00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,326

Oh, no.

00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,869

We might pass him off

as our pet.

00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,329

But -- But, fellas, if I --

00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,414

if I dress up like a dog

with a star in my eye,

00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,915

I'm gonna get grounded!

00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,125

- Shut up, Butters!

- Shut up, Butters!

00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,669

That is the dumbest idea

you guys have ever come up with!

00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,172

I'd expect this stupidity

out of Cartman, but you, Stan?

00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,090

Butters needs medical attention

right now!

00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,967

All right. Then you take him

to the hospital, Kyle.

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:34,968

You take him to the hospital

00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,387

and let your mom find out

what happened.

00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,686

Hand me the modeling glue.

We need more fur over here.

00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,940

That modeling glue

is making me dizzy.

00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,651

Butters, we're trying to help

you, god damn it!

00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,277

Now stop being such an asshole!

00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,570

We need some more fur.

00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,242

I think that's good.

00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,911

Okay.

Let's hear your bark, Butters.

00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,955

Woof. W-Woof?

00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,875

All right. Now we've just got to

sneak him into town.

00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,214

Okay.

It's clear.

00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,926

Now, remember, Butters -- When

you get to the vet's office,

00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,762

you need to stay down on all

fours and -- Butters, listen!

00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,306

At the vet's office, stay down

on all fours and bark a lot.

00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,727

Woof. Woof.

Woof.

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,062

We've got to hurry.

It's getting late.

00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,649

- Oh, shit. Somebody's coming.

- Quick! Hide Butters!

00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:31,775

In here!

00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,028

But -- But, fellas, I got --

00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,864

Aha! There you are.

00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,200

You guys thought

you were so cool, didn't you?

00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,327

Well, look at what we got.

00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,414

No way.

You got weapons, too?

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:46,540

Where'd you get those?

00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,792

From the kn-kn--

From the kn-- From the --

00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,460

From the knife guy

at the county fair.

00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,379

At first he said we needed

our parents' permission,

00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,172

but then we told him

our parents were dead.

00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,758

Aw, man, now every douchebag

in town has a ninja weapon!

00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,759

Lame!

00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,470

So, how would you ninjas

like to do battle?

00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,472

Uh, not now, Craig.

We -- We have to be going.

00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,058

You can't pass through this area

until you defend your honor!

00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,685

He said not now, Craig!

00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,769

I am not Craig.

00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,732

I am Ginza -- with the powerful

blade of the kintama.

00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,607

Yah!

00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,443

And I am Black Chaku --

00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,403

with the power

of perfect spelling!

00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,780

Guys, we're --

we're really not playing, okay?

00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,621

W-What --

What's the matter, f-fellas?

00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,708

Are you n-ninjas or p-p-pussies?

00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,793

We're twice the ninjas

you fags are!

00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:32,794

Then fight us.

00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,672

Very well, Clyde.

Yah!

00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,257

I swore to never fight again.

00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,217

We don't have a choice, Kyle.

Just humor them.

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,177

Yah!

00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,386

- Yah!

- Yah!

00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,473

♪ Suba-ra-shi chin chin mono ♪

00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,434

♪ Kintama no kame aru ♪

00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,312

♪ Sore no oto saru bo bo ♪

00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,732

♪ Iye!

Ninja ga imas-u-u-u-u-u-u ♪

00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,818

♪ Hey, hey,

let's go kenka suru ♪

00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,696

♪ Taisetsu no mono

protect my balls ♪

00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,449

♪ Boku ga warui

so let's fighting ♪

00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,660

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,997

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,625

♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪

00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,711

♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪

00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,339

♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,675

♪ Daijobu

we do it all the time ♪

00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,469

♪ Hey, hey,

let's go kenka suru -- ♪

00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,596

Wait, wait!

Wait, wait! Wa--

00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,473

Hold on a second.

Where's Butters?

00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,184

Oh, no.

Butters!

00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,852

Butters!

00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,188

Oh, nice going, you assholes!

You made us lose him!

00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,439

- Lose who?

- Butters!

00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,899

He got a ninja star stuck

in his eye.

00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,151

And we were taking him to the

vet when you fucked it all up!

00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,069

Butters?!

00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,904

Stuck in his eye?

Was he bleeding?

00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,280

Y-Yeah, a little.

Butters!

00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,324

- Get back here right now!

- Oh, shit.

00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,909

You guys are in trouble.

We're out of here!

00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,702

No, dude!

You got to help us find him!

00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,454

- To hell with that!

- We're in this together, Craig!

00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,122

If Butters tells on us,

we're gonna tell on you.

00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,457

That's ninja code.

00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,753

Hello?

00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,630

Anybody?

00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,632

Woof. Woof?

00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,551

Woof-woof.

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,511

Woof?

00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,012

Woof?

00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,308

- Butters?

- Butters?

00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,518

- Here, Butters!

- Mrph!

00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,894

- Butters!

- Butters!

00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,063

B-B-B-B-Butters?

00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,398

- Butters!

- Hey, Butters!

00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,524

Dude, look!

00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,575

Hello, there, children.

00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,410

- Hey, Chef.

- How's it going?

00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,495

- Bad.

- Why bad?

00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,998

Uh, Chef, you haven't seen

Butters around, have you?

00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,541

No, can't say that I have.

00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,710

Hey, what are you children doing

with those weapons?

00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,628

N-Nothing.

Just...playing.

00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,630

Well, you children

should be careful with those.

00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,591

You could put

somebody's eye out.

00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,884

Yeah, we know.

00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,594

Well, I got to get

to the fairgrounds.

00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,470

They're about to start

the big auction.

00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,471

So long, children.

00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,900

Woof. Woof!

00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,776

Woof-woof!

00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,194

Oh, my God.

00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,822

What the --

Doctor! Doctor!

00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,866

Jesus Christ.

00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,747

What kind of sick bastard

would do this to a dog?

00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:14,915

Poor little pup.

00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667

Woof-woof?

00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,294

Can you help him, Doctor?

00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,712

I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.

00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,465

Unfortunately for this little

fella, I'm a people doctor.

00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,133

Best we call the animal shelter.

00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,885

Right away.

00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,184

In our last episode,

the four ninjas did battle

00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,227

with Professor Chaos,

bringer of destruction and doom.

00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,438

It was during that great battle

that ninja master Kenny

00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,940

threw his star

into Professor Chaos' eye.

00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,483

Now the ninjas

were in serious trouble

00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,360

because their parents

might find out they had weapons

00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,611

if Professor Chaos told on them.

00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,029

While trying to get

Professor Chaos some aid

00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,364

at the veterinarian's office,

00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,324

the four ninjas ran into Craig

and his three friends.

00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,034

They challenged the four ninjas

to fight,

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,661

and the legendary battle

of Tokutawa began.

00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,121

It was during this battle

that Professor Chaos escaped,

00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,581

so the four ninjas

were forced to join forces

00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,541

with Craig and his friends

to find Professor Chaos,

00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377

or else they would all

be grounded.

00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,796

- Butters?

- Butters?

00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,964

- Here, Butters.

- Mrph!

00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,131

- Butters?

- Butters!

00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,633

Butters, where the hell are you?

00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,801

It's hopeless, dude.

00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,344

Butters must have made it

to the hospital.

00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,763

By now our parents probably know

we were playing with weapons!

00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,306

We have to get rid

of the evidence!

00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,224

What?

00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,934

Dude, we have to get rid

of our weapons

00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,978

so at least we can try

to deny everything.

00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,188

Screw that, dude. I paid

20 bucks for these things.

00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,982

Let's just return them

and get our money back.

00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191

We don't have time for that,

dude!

00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,026

We just have to ditch them --

now!

00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,862

Okay. Go ahead, Kyle.

Throw your nunchucks away.

00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:28,989

If you can.

00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,200

But you know damn well that

your Jewish blood won't let you.

00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,411

You can't throw away something

you paid 15 bucks for.

00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,495

Go ahead and try.

00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,497

Screw you, fat-ass!

00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,001

Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.

00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,836

Right now the Jew in you

is screaming, "No!

00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,713

Those cost money.

Get your money back."

00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,214

You know this to be true.

00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:50,677

Go ahead.

00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,388

Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle.

Do it.

00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,726

Aah!

00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,188

I-I can't do it.

00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,815

I can't do it.

I...

00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,025

It's all right, Kyle.

00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,027

We'll go back to the fair

and return them.

00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,575

Come on.

00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,036

Come on, little fella.

00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,287

Attaboy.

00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,584

Right over here.

Good dog. Come on.

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,419

There you go.

Right in there.

00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,171

Good dog.

00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,478

Aah!

00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:45,065

Somebody threw a ninja star

in that poor puppy's eye?

00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,942

It just makes me sick how

some people can treat animals.

00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,695

Well, nothing we can do for it.

Let's put it to sleep, shall we?

00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,238

Here you go, pup.

00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,157

I've got a sweet dose

of murder for you.

00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,327

What the -- Blast it!

He's escaped!

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,411

Oh, well.

00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,622

Let's murder

one of these other dogs.

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,250

All right!

The county fair's still open.

00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,172

Can I help you boys?

00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,007

We have come to return

the weapons we purchased.

00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,343

Oh, sorry, kids.

I don't give refunds.

00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,012

Listen, doucher, our parents

are gonna kill us -- and you --

00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,847

if they find out

that we bought these.

00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,682

I thought you told me

your parents were dead.

00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,810

- You guys! You guys!

- What is it, Craig?

00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,228

- It's Butters! We saw him!

- Where?!

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,896

Right on the other side

of the fairgrounds.

00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,189

He's just wandering around

aimlessly.

00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,691

- Then it's not too late!

- Come on, ninjas.

00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,987

All right, folks,

our next item up for auction

00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,156

is this lovely

19th-century lamp.

00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,700

Oh, crap, dude.

All our parents are there.

00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,119

Butters was right

on the other side.

00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,662

- We have to get past them.

- All right.

00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,373

Looks like I'll have to use my

power of invisibility to get by.

00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,624

You have that power, too?

00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626

I told you -- Bulrog has

lots and lots of powers.

00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,752

Behold.

00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:54,634

This way, I can move about

the crowd of people undetected.

00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,262

- Here. Hold this stuff for me.

- Good luck, Bulrog.

00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,142

This lamp comes from the estate

of Edna and James Holinger,

00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,352

who lived in upstate Wyoming.

00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,856

It has a bronze finish and

actual gold leaf along the base.

00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,275

This is a really rare

opportunity

00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,985

to own a classic antique.

00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,028

The lamp has been appraised

by our auction staff

00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,822

at well over $2,000,

00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,241

so we're gonna start the bidding

at $375.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,952

Do I -- Do I hear $375?

00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,384

Kid, what the hell

do you think you're doing?

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,476

Butters!

00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,438

What happened to him?

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,607

Oh, my God!

00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:51,691

Oh, Jesus.

00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,735

Oh, dude,

we are gonna get it now.

00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,532

All right, people.

00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,993

We are all extremely upset

over what's happened,

00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,828

but let's try to speak

one at a time.

00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,371

Well, like the rest of you,

00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,624

I am shocked and appalled

at what happened.

00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,584

I don't know

if the parents are to blame

00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,419

or if it's the times

we're living in,

00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,379

but something has to change!

00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,218

This is the worst thing that's

ever happened in this town --

00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,427

the worst thing!

00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,180

Yeah!

00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:25,016

I mean, there were children

watching that auction.

00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,893

And when that little

eight-year-old boy

00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,272

walked up and flashed his...

penis, it was an outrage!

00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,025

I was outraged!

00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,526

What?

00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,110

What?

00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:40,031

Not only that, the auction

was televised on public access.

00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,743

So my little daughter watching

at home saw the...penis.

00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,620

How am I supposed to

explain that to her?

00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,829

This is what happens

00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,123

when the moral fabric

of society breaks down.

00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,918

- Yeah!

- It's the fabric's fault!

00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,087

You see the damage

you've caused, Eric Cartman?

00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,255

What were you thinking?!

00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,424

I told you --

It was a wardrobe malfunction.

00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,301

- That's bull!

- No way!

00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,429

Dude, they don't care we knocked

Butters' eye out with weapons?

00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,515

Just run with it, dude.

00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,142

Uh, yeah.

I agree!

00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,978

Uh, my fragile little

eight-year-old mind

00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,854

didn't know how to deal with

what I was seeing.

00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,064

Cartman should be punished!

00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,024

- Yeah! That's right!

- I agree!

00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,484

Hey, fuck you, Kyle!

00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,321

- Dude, I-I can't believe it.

- Yeah!

00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,031

I guess parents don't give

a crap about violence

00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,491

if there's sex things

to worry about.

00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,827

So I guess this means

we get to keep our weapons.

00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,412

Yeah.

Come on, ninjas.

00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,081

We've got some more work to do.

00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,083

- Hyah!

- ♪ Hey, hey, let's go ♪

00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,668

♪ Kenka suru ♪

00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,337

♪ Taisetsu no mono

protect my balls ♪

00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,799

♪ Boku ga warui

so let's fighting ♪

00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,593

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,555

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,182

♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪

00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,477

♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪

00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,397

♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪

00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,567

♪ Daijobu

we do it all the time ♪

00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,486

♪ Hey, hey,

let's go kenka suru ♪

00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,115

♪ Taisetsu no mono

protect my balls ♪

00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,270

Кончай уже, Картман!

Ха-ха, прикольно.

00:00:43,050 --> 00:00:46,400

Чёрт возьми, Картман,

прекрати кидать эти тупые хлопушки в меня!

00:00:46,435 --> 00:00:50,780

Подходи, налетай, народ.

У нас для вас всякие разные ножи.

00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:52,560

О боже, смотрите!

00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:55,820

"Оружие военного искусства Дальнего востока".

00:00:57,150 --> 00:00:58,365

Ух, клёво!

00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,490

Чуваки! Каждый себе купит оружие,

и будем прям как ниньзи.

00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:03,840

Ага.

Мы не должны брать то дерьмо как у всех.

00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,220

Наши родители не разрешат нам оружие, чуваки.

00:01:06,255 --> 00:01:07,715

А кто это здесь собрался им говорить?!

00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,710

Да, чуваки, наши родаки будут

на тупой ярмаре весь день.

00:01:09,745 --> 00:01:10,610

Они никогда не узнают чего мы купили.

00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:13,230

Я возьму тонфас. Они такие клёвые.

00:01:13,265 --> 00:01:14,510

Я возьму те убийственные сай.

00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,080

Смотри Кенни! Тут есть кое-что,

ты сможешь себе это позволить!

00:01:17,115 --> 00:01:19,830

Сюрикен ниндзя за доллар девяносто девять.

00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,575

Чем помочь, ребята?

00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:24,520

Ага.

Нам надо вот эти оружия ниндзя.

00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:27,925

Ну хорошо, позовите своих

родителей, чтобы купить, я

00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,660

не могу продать детям до восемнадцати лет

без разрешения родителей.

00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,440

Родители? Родители? О боже!

00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,280

О, что, что случилось?

00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:47,660

Ма, ма братья, видите, и наши родители...

погибли в аварии в том году.

00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:52,980

Почему?! Почему?!

Почему ты забрала их обоих?! Почему?! Почему?!

00:01:56,670 --> 00:02:01,860

Почему люди постоянно напоминают нам о тех

кого у нас нет?

00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,930

Ну ладно, всё хорошо,

ребятки. Не плачьте. Я...

00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:07,380

Я только... пойду упакую всё для вас, хорошо?

00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,020

Фига себе, это сработало уже в двенадцатый раз.

00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:20,220

Кийя! Кия!

Кай ё!

00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,825

Хия! Заткнитесь хиппи!

Я убью тебя! Й-а!

00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:27,480

С моей тонфой Таканавы я становлюсь великим

и мощным ниндзя Шарохачи,

00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,480

рождённым для борьбы со злом и людьми,

которые мне не нравятся.

00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:32,155

Ага. А мой мои мощные нунчаки

делают из меня Боунаку,

00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:35,100

смертельно опастный, но сострадательный ниндзя,

защищающий от неприятностей.

00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,820

Как твоё имя ниндзя, Кенни?

00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:42,815

Да. И я... Балрок.

00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:46,650

Жестокий грубый ниндзя,

который посвятил свою жизнь уничтожению мира хиппи.

00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:50,060

Итак, ниндзя!

Пошли защищать мир!

00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:51,580

Набьём по жопе!

00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,645

Эй пацаны, знаете чё нам надо сделать?

00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,210

Надо показать наше оружие Крейгу и его парням.

Им будет завидно.

00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:06,540

Не, чуваки, нам не надо показывать оружие людям.

А то родители узнают.

00:03:07,110 --> 00:03:09,880

Вы видите, пацаны? Вот по этому евреи

не могут быть ниндзя! Они безхребетные!

00:03:09,915 --> 00:03:12,605

Ты ни фига не знаешь о евреях, жирная жопа!

00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,040

Да ну?! Моя мама водила меня смотреть

кино Мела Гибсона, Страсти,

00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:17,490

и Мел Гибсон сказал,

что вы ленивые и лживые.

00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,900

И если Воин Дороги сказал это,

то это правда.

00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:21,810

Не переживай, Кайл,

Крейг ничего не скажет.

00:03:21,845 --> 00:03:23,430

Идём, ниндзя, идём.

00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:30,840

Ну вот, это здесь. Да.

Резиденция одного... Крейга.

00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,720

Я всё равно говорю - это плохая идея.

00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:35,140

В позицию ниндзя!

00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,820

Привет, Крейг!

Смотри чё у нас.

00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,535

Где вы это взяли?

00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,970

Мы не можем сказать где мы это взяли!

Это секрет ниндзя.

00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,985

Ооо, это зависть

я вижу в твоих глазах, Крейг?

00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:52,710

Ммм, да, я тону

в сладких водах этой зависти.

00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:55,890

Ну, ну, ничего в этом крутого.

Ну да, "ничего в этом крутого".

00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:58,030

Это настоящее, подлинное

оружие из Дальнего Востока.

00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,600

Но никому не говорите,

что оно у нас есть.

00:03:59,635 --> 00:04:00,380

Уух.

00:04:00,870 --> 00:04:02,725

Вау! Где вы взяли?

Дай посмотреть.

00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,500

Э, мы не прочь поболтать, но у нас есть

секретная работа, её надо делать.

00:04:05,535 --> 00:04:07,950

Да. У ниндзя жизнь сложна и опасна.

00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,240

Пойдём ниндзя!

Хо!

00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,130

Пацаны, вы видели этот

взгляд на лице Крейга?!

00:04:16,165 --> 00:04:17,540

Грозный такой!

00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:19,580

Чуваки, мы самые

клёвые дети во всём штате!

00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:22,030

Паривет мужики.

Чё случилось?

00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,005

Мы играем в

ниндзя, Баттерс.

00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,740

Вавау! Эй, я могу

поиграть в ниндзя с вами?

00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:29,145

Не, Баттерс.

Мы избранная элитная бойцовская команда

00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:31,030

посланная для защиты мира от зла,

и ты не можешь играть с нами.

00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,345

Ага, Баттерс.

Ты не сможешь быть классным ниндзя.

00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:36,390

Пойдём, пацаны. У нас полно работы.

Да, и совсем нет времени.

00:04:36,425 --> 00:04:37,240

Нет времени...

00:04:40,490 --> 00:04:43,240

Я думаю из меня бы получился

очень класный ниндзя.

00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:46,530

Блин, эти пацаны никогда

не дают мне поиграть с ними.

00:04:46,565 --> 00:04:48,760

Они избегают меня всё время.

00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:52,950

Я - потеряная душа.

Одинокая тёмная тень человека

00:04:52,985 --> 00:04:54,215

Привет, Баттерс.

Привет, мам.

00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:57,270

Покинутый, вынужденый

жить в одиночестве.

00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:01,165

И поэтому со временем

мне пришлось обратиться на сторону зла.

00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,120

Общество отвергло меня, так что

я поклялся заставить их всех заплатить.

00:05:04,155 --> 00:05:05,580

И они заплатят.

00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,690

Никто не знает, что за этим чудным маленьким

восьмилетним мальчиком находится самый злой,

00:05:09,725 --> 00:05:11,720

самый разрушительный суперзлодей всего времени!

00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:15,535

Професор Хаос!

00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:19,870

Посмотрим, как вам понравится

иметь дело со мной, ниндзя!

00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,360

O, Баттерс, ты снова идёшь играть?

00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,545

Ага, мам, Я пойду ненадолго.

00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,285

Хорошо, тогда будь сладеньким

и отнеси этот пирог Томпсонам.

00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,710

Я сделала его в благодарность за то, что они

посидели с ребёнком на прошлой неделе.

00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,580

Хорошо, окей-окей, мам.

00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:47,760

Ба! Га!

00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,265

Хм, это кажется неправильный путь.

00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,610

Моё чувство ниндзя подсказывает мне,

что мы, возможно, идём не в том направлении.

00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,790

Окей, перерыв, пацаны.

Я использовал свою специальную силу видеть будущее

00:06:04,825 --> 00:06:06,160

и узнал, куда мы должны направиться дальше.

00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,615

Подождите, пацаны.

Фактически я имею другую мощь.

00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:10,840

Я могу видеть будущее так же,

но лучше чем Кайл.

00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:11,550

Дай-ка я попробую.

00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,620

Чё за хрень, Картман!

Ты не можешь придумывать себе новые силы!

00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:15,420

Да, чувак, это уже пятая сила,

которую ты себе придумал!

00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:18,505

Я Балрог и у меня полно силы.

00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,930

Нифига, задница!

С этого момента у тебя только одна сила!

00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:21,860

Ну, так чё?!

00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,140

У меня есть сила иметь всякие силы,

которые я захочу.

00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:26,950

Так не пойдет, жопарь!

Да, нефиг, Картман!

00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:28,130

Ты не будешь иметь разные силы!

00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,685

Ну-у-у бли-и-ин!

00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,595

Хааа хахаха!

00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:36,570

Так-так-так!

Те самые четверо ниндзя!

00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,400

Чё это за чёрт?

Я не знаю.

00:06:39,435 --> 00:06:40,450

Крейг, это ты?

00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:43,675

Дураки!

Я Профессор Хаос!

00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:46,460

Несущий Разрушения и Гибель!

00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:50,070

Ваши слабые силы ниндзя - ничто для меня!

00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,370

Похоже что у нас есть

заклятый враг, пацаны.

00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,715

Очень хорошо, Профессор Хаос!

Мы поиграем.

00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,890

Теперь получи пламенное жало

моего тонфа Таканава!

00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,360

Эй ты, ты должен упасть.

Не-а!

00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,670

Да, я завалил тебя!

00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,465

Не-а! Мой плащ сделан из...

сплава титана,

00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,910

поэтому я защищён

от высокой температуры!

00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:18,410

Да это кусок говна!

Моя жопа из сплава титана!

00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:23,160

Ну ладно, давайте посмотрим как ему понравятся

ледяные ветры моих нунчак Сокаромото!

00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,865

Неплохая попытка, ниндзя!

00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:33,210

Но теперь вы оба должны ощутить силу

моей Схватывающей Сети!

00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:43,160

Ха-ха-ха-ха-ха!

Вы попались в паутину!

00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:50,055

Ну всё, засранец!

Время расплачиваться!

00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:54,265

О нет! У меня нет силы!

Кайл забрал их у меня!

00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,070

Кайл, быстрее верни мне мои силы,

чтобы я смог биться с этим злым злодеем!

00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:58,125

Хорошо, хорошо, возвращай себе свои силы.

00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,780

Ну ладно! И теперь

я использую свою силу и...

00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:02,740

превращаю Кайла в цыплёнка! Бэ-э!

00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,355

Бляха-муха, Картман!

00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:09,110

Ха-ха-ха-хааа ха! Кайл теперь цыплёнок!

Ня-ня-ня-ня-няяя ня!

00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:15,730

Достаточно! Я утомлён вашей тупостью.

Профессор Хаос не остановится!

00:08:15,765 --> 00:08:20,540

Да ну?!

Кенни! Доставай свои звёздочки ниндзя!

00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:39,190

О, блядь, чуваки!

Это Баттерс. Господи!

00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,100

О, чуваки! Оно застряло у него глазу!

00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:46,660

Чё за херню ты сделал, Кенни?!

00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:51,045

Мне хреново! Оно болит! Ох, пацаны!

У нас серьёзные проблемы!

00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:56,130

Ш- шшш. Всё нормально, Баттерс.

Успокойся, на самом деле ничего страшного.

00:08:56,165 --> 00:09:01,120

Но я... Но я... Но я ничего не вижу.

Мне нужно в больницу-у-у!

00:09:01,155 --> 00:09:04,680

Хорошо, хорошо, успокойся, Баттерс!

Всё будет хорошо!

00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:08,370

Пацаны, отойдём на секунду?

00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:10,800

Короче так, пацаны, нам надо успокоиться

и сделать одно правильное дело.

00:09:10,835 --> 00:09:13,380

Нам надо убить Баттерса

и закопать его на заднем дворе Кайла.

00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,950

Чувак, заткнись!

Я согласен с Картманом!

00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:15,825

Чего?

00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:19,000

Ты не понимаешь, что моя мама сделает со мной

если узнает, что я играл с оружием!

00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,720

Баттерс, просто не шевелись.

00:09:27,755 --> 00:09:30,330

Хх-а. Вв-а-а!

Ва-аа-а!

00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,185

Прекрати чувак! Ты повредишь ему мозг!

00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:35,620

Давай, поцарапай мозг,

чтобы он забыл обо всём.

00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:40,040

Пацаны, вы не сможете починить мне глаз!

Отведите меня в больницу!

00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,310

Есль мы отведём его в больницу,

все узнают что случилось.

00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:43,350

Чёрт побери!

00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,620

Господи? Пожалуйста,

если ты избавишь меня от всего этого

00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:48,780

я клянусь, я никогда не буду играть оружием.

00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:51,240

Так быстро не избавишься от

ответственности ниндзя, Кайл.

00:09:51,275 --> 00:09:51,945

Ну что ж, давайте пацаны,

00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:54,430

конечно, легко быть ниндзя,

когда всё идёт как ты хочешь,

00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,280

но в подобные моменты,

когда все валится из рук,

00:09:56,315 --> 00:09:58,200

ниндзя проявляет свой истиный характер.

00:09:58,740 --> 00:09:59,945

Воа, мне дурно.

Заткнись, Баттерс.

00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:02,500

Сейчас есть один выход из этого.

Нам только нужно использовать...

00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,860

рассудительность ниндзя.

00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:08,085

Нам... нужен доктор...

Но мы не можем идти в больницу.

00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,150

Минутку. Погодите, погодите,

как насчёт ветеринара?

00:10:11,185 --> 00:10:13,870

Доктор Шафлей?

Ведь он старый и слеповат.

00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:17,440

Итак, если мы сделаем Баттерса

похожым на собаку,... Ооо нет.

00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:19,415

Мы смогли бы выдать его за нашего питомца.

00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,740

Охоо но, но мужики, если я,

если я наряжусь как собака с звездой в глазу,

00:10:22,775 --> 00:10:24,200

я, мне придётся ползать.

00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:25,195

Заткнись, Баттерс!

00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:27,760

Это самая дурацкая идея,

которую вы когда либо придумывали!

00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,160

Я ожидал бы такую глупость от Картмана,

но ты, Стэн?

00:10:30,195 --> 00:10:32,360

Баттерсу немедленно нужно к врачу!

00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,375

Хорошо, тогда ты отведёшь его в больницу.

00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:36,400

Ты отведёшь его в больницу

и позволишь своей маме узнать что произошло.

00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:44,800

Мне нужен клей "Момент".

Нам нужно добавить сюда ещё меха.

00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:49,090

У- у от этого "Момента"

у меня голова кружится.

00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:52,220

Баттерс! Мы пытаемся помочь тебе,

чёрт возьми! Прекрати уже вести себя, как говнюк!

00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:54,130

Нам надо ещё шерсти.

00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,785

Я думаю так пойдёт.

00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:01,280

Хорошо, послушаем как ты лаешь, Баттерс.

00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:03,850

О- о. Гав, га-гаав.

00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:07,520

Хорошо.

Теперь надо притащить его в город.

00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,670

Окей, тут чисто.

00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,430

Так, запомни, Баттерс,

когда ты попадёшь в ветеринарную больницу

00:11:16,465 --> 00:11:17,650

тебе надо встать на четвереньки и -

00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:20,630

Баттерс, слушай!

В ветбольнице тебе надо встать на четвереньки

00:11:20,665 --> 00:11:21,790

и как следует полаять.

00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:25,620

Гагавф, гаф-гавф.

00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,575

Надо спешить, а то опоздаем!

00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,760

О, бля, кто-то идёт!

Быстро прячься, Баттерс!

00:11:30,795 --> 00:11:31,820

Сюда!

00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,730

У- ух, но мужики, мне надо-

00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,585

Ага! Вот вы где!

00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,400

Вы, пацаны, думали что

вы такие клёвые, да?!

00:11:40,435 --> 00:11:43,350

Теперь смотрите чё есть у нас!

00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:46,930

Фига себе, у вас тоже оружие?

Где вы его взяли?

00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:51,010

У к-к-к, у к-к-к, у кк-к -

У клёвого парня на окружной ярмарке.

00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:52,420

Поначалу нам нужно

было разрешение родителей,

00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:54,240

но мы сказали ему, что они умерли.

00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:58,320

Чувак, теперь у каждого засера в городе

есть оружие! Убогость!

00:11:58,355 --> 00:12:00,412

Итак, ниньзи, как насчёт битвы?

00:12:00,447 --> 00:12:02,435

О, не сейчас, Крейг, нам надо идти.

00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:05,180

Вы не уйдёте отсюда,

пока не защитите свою честь!

00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:09,530

Он сказал не сейчас, Крейг!

Я не Крейг, я Кейнда,

00:12:09,565 --> 00:12:13,195

с мощнейшим мечём китана. Йаа!

00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:16,410

А я Чёрный Таку с силой

превосходных заклинаний!

00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,730

Пацаны, мы, мы на самом деле

не играем, хорошо?

00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:29,015

Ч- ч-что, чё такое, мужики?

Вы... ниндзя или письки?

00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:33,180

Мы дважды ниндзя, ты козлина!

Тогда давайте биться!

00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:35,377

Ну ладно, Клайд. Кия-я-я!

00:12:35,412 --> 00:12:37,521

Я поклялся никогда не биться.

00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,630

Нас прижали, Кайл.

Не смеши их.

00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,385

Субарушии чинчин моно

00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:46,520

Кинтама но каме ару

00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,430

рана неот ха "сару бобо"

00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,020

Ййя! Ниндзя га имасу

00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:56,865

Хей хей ну-ка кенка суру

00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,930

Тайсетсу не мохо спасай мне яйца!

00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:03,032

Бока дай варуи так дай боёв...

00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:06,100

Дай бои любить!

Дай бои любить!

00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:10,880

Коно ута чёто бака

00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,360

Вэйк га вакаранай

00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,350

Эйго да мечакуча

00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,565

Дайёбу? Мы это делай всегда!

00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,290

Хей хей ну-ка кенка суру...

00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,670

Эй подождите, подождите! Подождите.

Остановитесь на секунду. Где Баттерс?

00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:30,510

О нет. Баттерс! Баттерс!

00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,390

Ну, ништяк он ушёл, вы гавнюки!

Из-за вас мы потеряли его!

00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:34,750

Кого потеряли?

Баттерса!

00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:37,620

У него в глазу застряла звёздочка,

и мы вели его к ветеринару,

00:13:37,655 --> 00:13:39,330

когда вы устроили всю эту хуйню!

Баттерс!

00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:41,045

Застряла в глазу?

У него кровь?

00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,820

Да-а-а, немного -

Баттерс! Сейчас же вернись!

00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,340

От блядь, пацаны, у вас проблемы.

Мы валим отсюда!

00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:48,720

Не, чуваки, вы поможете нам найти его!

Нахрен всё это!

00:13:48,755 --> 00:13:49,895

Мы здесь все вместе, Крейг!

00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,180

Если Баттерс скажет про нас,

мы скажем про вас, такой кодекс у ниндзя!

00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:58,180

Э- эй? Кто-нибудь, ух...

00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:08,400

Гав. Хав. Гавгав.

Е- е. Гав, е-э. Гав.

00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:13,165

Баттерс! Баттерс!

Ко мне, Баттерс!

00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,100

Баттерс! Баттерс! Баттерс!

Ба бба ба ба баба Баттерс! Баттерс-Баттерс!

00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:18,140

Эй Баттерс! Баттерс!

Смотрите, чуваки!

00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:27,860

Привет, рабятки!

Привет, Шеф.

00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:28,555

Как гуляется?

00:14:28,590 --> 00:14:30,390

Плохо.

Почему плохо?

00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:33,420

Ну-у-у, Шеф,

ты случайно не видел в округе Баттерса?

00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,765

Нет, не могу сказать что видел.

00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,700

Эй, что вы, ребятки,

делаете с этим оружием?

00:14:36,735 --> 00:14:38,710

Н- н-ничего, просто играем.

00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:43,320

Не ладно, вы ребята будте осторожней с этим.

А то выколете кому-нибудь глаз.

00:14:43,355 --> 00:14:43,955

Ага, мы знаем.

00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,550

Ну а я направляюсь на ярмарку.

Там скоро начнётся большой аукцион.

00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:49,150

До скорого, ребятки!

00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,965

О господи!

00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,810

Что это? Доктор? Доктор?

00:15:06,845 --> 00:15:08,160

Господи Иисусе.

00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,220

Какой больной ублюдок

сделал такое с собакой?

00:15:13,255 --> 00:15:15,330

Бедный маленький пёсик.

00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,035

Гафгав.

00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:20,025

Вы можете помочь ему, доктор?

00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:23,590

К сожалению я не знаю как.

К несчастью этого маленького дружка, я лечу людей.

00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:25,570

Лучше мы позвоним в приют для животных.

00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:26,940

Прямо сейчас.

00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,660

В прошлом эпизоде четверо ниндзя сражались

с Профессором Хаос, несущим разрушение и гибель.

00:15:35,695 --> 00:15:39,192

В этой великой битве ниндзя мастер Кенни бросил

свою звёздочку в глаз Профессора Хаос.

00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,690

Теперь у ниндзя серьёзные проблемы, потому что

их родители могут узнать про оружие

00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:44,130

если Профессор Хаос расскажет обо всём.

00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,800

При попытке предоставить помощь Профессору Хаос

в ветеринарной больнице,

00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:48,720

четверо ниндзя столкнулись с

Крейгом и его тремя друзьями.

00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,610

Они бросили вызов четырем ниндзя бороться,

и началось легендарное сражение Токатава.

00:15:52,645 --> 00:15:54,585

И в течении этого сражения

Профессор Хаос сбежал,

00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,850

так что четырём ниндзя пришлось обьеденится с

Крейгом и его друзьями для поиска Профессора Хаос,

00:15:57,885 --> 00:15:59,930

иначе они все окажутся под домашним арестом.

00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:05,640

Баттерс! Баттерс! Баттерс, ко мне!

Баттерс! Баттерс!

00:16:05,675 --> 00:16:06,840

Баттерс!

Где ты, чёрт возьми?!

00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,585

Бесполезно, чуваки!

Баттерс обязательно посетит больницу.

00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,990

Родители наверное уже знают,

что мы играем с оружием!

00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:13,920

Мы должны избавится от свидетельств!

00:16:13,955 --> 00:16:14,405

Что?

00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,990

Чуваки, нам надо избавится от нашего оружия и

на крайняк, можем попробовать отрицать всё.

00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,050

Не гони, чувак,

я заплатил двадцать долларов за эти вещи!

00:16:20,085 --> 00:16:22,000

Ага, просто пойдём и вернём их

и получим свои деньги назад.

00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:25,010

У нас нет на это времени, чуваки!

Нам надо избавиться от них! Прям щас!

00:16:25,045 --> 00:16:27,840

Окей. Давай, Кайл.

Выбрось свои нунчаки.

00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:28,910

Если сможешь.

00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:32,240

Но ты хорошо знаешь, что твоя еврейская кровь

не позволит тебе сделать это.

00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:34,580

Ты не сможешь выкинуть что-то,

стоившее тебе 15 баксов.

00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:35,660

Давай, попробуй.

00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:37,210

Ни хрена, толстожопый!

00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:41,215

Мел Гибсон был прав, Кайл.

00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,780

Еврей в тебе сейчас кричит:

"НЕТ! За это заплачено! Надо вернуть свои деньги!"

00:16:44,815 --> 00:16:46,550

Ты знаешь, что это так.

00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,340

Давай же.

Докажи, что Мел Гибсон не прав, Кайл.

00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,130

Бросай!

00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,165

Я, я не могу... Я не могу. Я...

00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,130

Всё в порядке, Кайл.

Мы пойдём на ярмарку и вернём.

00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:17,140

Ко мне. Давай маленький дружок.

Хороший пёсик.

00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,950

Гав гаф.

00:17:20,510 --> 00:17:22,940

Вот сюда. Молодец. Давай.

Иди сюда, вот сюда.

00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,290

Ха-а-арошая собачка.

00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,350

Гаааа!

00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:45,395

Кто же бросил звёздочку

в глаз этого бедного пёсика?

00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:48,490

Мне очень больно от того,

что некоторые люди способны на такое зверство.

00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,870

Ну да ладно, мы ничего не можем

сделать для него, давайте усыпим?

00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:54,380

Иди сюда, пёсик.

У меня для тебя есть сладкая смерть.

00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,485

Что тут? Взломано! Он сбежал!...

00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,970

Ну да ладно, тогда усыпим другую собаку.

00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,910

Отлично, ярмарка ещё открыта!

00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:09,425

Чем помочь, ребята?

00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,180

Мы пришли, что бы вернуть

оружие, которое купили.

00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:13,740

Ну, извините, ребята,

я не принимаю обратно.

00:18:13,775 --> 00:18:16,150

Слушай, говнюк!

Наши родители убьют нас и тебя,

00:18:16,185 --> 00:18:17,960

если узнают,

что мы купили их здесь.

00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,290

Кажется вы сказали мне,

что ваши родители умерли.

00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:21,950

Чуваки! Чуваки!

Чё такое, Крейг?

00:18:21,985 --> 00:18:23,315

Это Баттерс!

Мы видели его!

00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,530

Где?!

На той стороне ярмарки. Он там ходит-бродит.

00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,930

Мы не должны опоздать!

Идём, ниндзя!

00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:35,660

Итак, народ, наш следующий лот -

эта прекрасная лампа 19-го века.

00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,820

Вот дерьмо, чуваки.

Все наши родители там.

00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,177

Баттерс с той стороны.

00:18:39,212 --> 00:18:40,500

Мы должны закончить это!

00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,470

Ну ладно. Кажется мне пора

использовать мою силу невидимости.

00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:44,750

У тебя и такая есть?

00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:48,250

Я говорил тебе, у Балрога полно силы.

Созерцай.

00:18:50,510 --> 00:18:54,180

Сквозь эту толпу я смогу пройти незамеченным.

00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:57,760

Вот, придержи это для меня.

Удачи, Балрог.

00:18:59,610 --> 00:19:02,680

Итак, эта лампа

из состояния Эдны и Джеймса Холлинджера,

00:19:02,715 --> 00:19:04,810

который жил в провинциальных областях штата.

00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:08,520

Сделана из бронзы и

листов настоящего золота вдоль основания.

00:19:08,555 --> 00:19:12,170

Это редкая возможность

приобрести класический антиквариат.

00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:16,070

Эта лампа оценивается нашим

персоналом в более чем две тысячи долларов.

00:19:16,105 --> 00:19:19,220

Итак мы начнём со

стартовой цены в триста семьдесят пять.

00:19:19,255 --> 00:19:21,410

Итак я слушаю ваши ставки в

триста семьдесят пять?

00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:37,060

Ребёнок, какого дьявола

ты собрался тут делать?

00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:42,090

Хаба, Хава! Хавооаха!

00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:46,270

Баттерс!

00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:51,240

Что с ним случилось?

О господи!

00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:52,325

О- о-о Иисус.

00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,250

О чуваки, теперь нам попадёт.

00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:02,530

Хорошо, господа, мы все

чрезвычайно расстроены тем, что случилось.

00:20:02,565 --> 00:20:04,565

Но давайте попробуем говорить по порядку.

00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,075

Ну ладно, как и все вы, я шокирован

и потрясён тем что случилось!

00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:11,650

Я не знаю виноваты ли в этом родители,

или это время в котором мы живём,

00:20:11,685 --> 00:20:14,010

но нужно что-то менять!

00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:20,360

Это худшая вешь, произошедшая в этом городе!

Наихудшая вешь!

00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,335

Да! Я подразумеваю,

дети видели этот аукцион!

00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:28,920

И когда тот маленький восьмилетний мальчик

крался и светил своим...

00:20:28,955 --> 00:20:31,660

пенисом... это произвол!

00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,875

Что?

Что?

00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:40,300

И не только это,

аукцион был показан по телевизору

00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:43,690

и моя маленькая дочь

дома видела... пенис!

00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:46,175

Как я смогу обьяснить ей это?!

00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,540

Это произошло потому, что

мораль общества упала!

00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:54,280

Ты видишь какой ущерб ты нанёс,

Эрик Картман?!

00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:55,900

О ЧЁМ ТЫ ДУМАЛ?!

00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:58,810

Я сказал вам -

это сбой гардероба!

00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:03,570

Чувак, они не беспокоятся

что мы выбили глаз Баттерса?

00:21:03,605 --> 00:21:05,090

Просто согласись с ними, чувак.

00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,095

Да, да! Я согласен!

00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:11,940

Мм мой маленький восьмилетний разум

не знает, как быть с тем, что я увидел.

00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,260

К- Картман должен быт наказан!

00:21:14,295 --> 00:21:15,515

Да!

00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:17,410

Эй, пошёл на хуй, Кайл!

00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:20,265

Хе-е, я не могу поверить.

Ага.

00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,370

Я полагаю, родителям насрать на жестокость,

если они озабочены сексуальными вещами.

00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,680

Ну, я полагаю, это значит,

что у нас останется наше оружие.

00:21:25,715 --> 00:21:27,630

Ага. Идём, ниндзя.

00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,520

У нас есть неоконченные дела.

00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:33,050

Хей-я!

00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,015

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,853

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,521

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,242

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,288

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,457

[ Laughing ]

00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:40,666

- [ Pop ]

- Stop it, Cartman.

00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,835

[ Laughing ]

That's so funny.

00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,919

God damn it, Cartman!

00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,380

Stop throwing those

stupid poppy things at me!

00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,923

Come on and take a look, folks.

00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,468

We've got a lot of knives

for sale here.

00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:53,471

Oh, my God!

Look!

00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:56,557

"Martial arts weapons

from the Far East."

00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,184

Wow. Cool.

00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,186

Dude, we should each buy

a weapon,

00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,604

and then we'll be like ninjas.

00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,732

Yeah! We won't have to

take crap from anybody!

00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,275

Our parents won't let us

have weapons, dude.

00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,860

Who's gonna tell them,

dumb-ass?

00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,029

Yeah. Our parents are gonna be

at this stupid fair all day.

00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,614

They'll never know

what we bought.

00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,657

I'll get the tonfas.

Those are so sweet.

00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,159

CARTMAN:

I'm gonna get those killer sai.

00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,036

Look, Kenny, there's something

even you can afford --

00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,246

a ninja shuriken for $1.99.

00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,790

Mrph rm!

00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,458

Can I help you boys?

00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,960

Yeah. We want to get one of each

of these ninja weapons.

00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,880

Okay. You need to have your

parents here when you buy them.

00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,841

I can't sell to anyone under 18

without parents' permission.

00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,969

Parents?

00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,304

Parents?

00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,890

Oh, God!

[ Sobs ]

00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,309

W-What's the matter?

00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,937

[ Wailing ]

No!

00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:45,606

We're brothers, see,

and our parents died

00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,233

in a car accident last year.

00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,818

Why?!

00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,236

- Why?!

- [ Sobs ]

00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,279

Why did you have to

take them both?!

00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,364

Why?!

00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:56,367

[ Sobs ]

00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,952

[ Sobs ]

00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,912

Why do people have to

keep reminding us

00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,039

of what we don't have?!

00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,166

It's -- It's all right, boys.

Don't cry.

00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,336

I'll -- I'll just go pack

these up for you, okay?

00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,048

God damn. That's like

the 12th time that's worked.

00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,052

[ Grunting, shrieking ]

00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,390

Kyah! Kyah!

00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,808

Tai-yo!

00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:21,767

Gyah!

00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,144

Shut up, hippies!

I'll kill you!

00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:24,061

Yah!

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,437

With my tonfa of Takanawa,

00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,815

I become the great and powerful

ninja Shadowhachi --

00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,067

born to fight evil

and people I don't like.

00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,570

Yeah, and my powerful nunchucks

make me into Bunraku --

00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:35,948

a deadly but compassionate ninja

who protects those in trouble.

00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,324

What's your ninja name, Kenny?

00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:41,537

Mrph rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,289

Yes, and I am Bulrog --

00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,249

a tough, brute ninja

who has dedicated his life

00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,293

to eradicating the world

from hippies.

00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,129

All right, ninjas.

Let's go protect the world.

00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,505

Kick-ass.

00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,507

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,970

You guys,

you know what we should do?

00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,097

We should go show our weapons

to Craig and those guys.

00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,182

They'll be so jealous.

00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:02,641

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,935

No, dude. We can't go around

showing our weapons to people.

00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,645

Our parents might find out

we have them.

00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,481

Ugh. You see, guys, this is why

Jews can't be ninjas.

00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,025

They've got no spine.

00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,818

You don't know anything

about Jews, fat-ass!

00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,571

My mom took me to see Mel

Gibson's movie "The Passion,"

00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,948

and Mel Gibson says you are

snakes and you are liars.

00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,242

And if the Road Warrior says it,

it must be true.

00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,411

Don't worry, Kyle.

Craig's not gonna tell on us.

00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,205

Come, ninjas.

Let's go.

00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,957

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,375

All right.

This is it.

00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,253

Yes. The residence that belongs

to the one called Craig.

00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,047

I still say this is a bad idea.

00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,506

[ Wind whistling ]

00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:35,841

Ninja positions.

00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,176

Ha!

00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,429

Hello, Craig.

00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,057

Look what we got.

00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,100

Where'd you get those?

00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,436

We can't tell you where.

It's secret ninja stuff.

00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,688

Ooh, is that jealously

I see in your eyes, Craig?

00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,648

Mm, yes.

00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:53,192

Drown me in the sweet water

of your envy.

00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,110

Uh, th-they're not that cool.

00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,237

Yeah, they're not that cool.

00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,364

These are real, authentic

weapons from the Far East.

00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,032

But don't tell anybody

we have them.

00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:00,866

Ugh.

00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,285

- Whoa! Where'd you get those?

- Let me see!

00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,411

Uh, we'd love to hang out, guys,

00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,871

but we have important

secret work to do.

00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,624

Yes, the life of a ninja

is complex and full of peril.

00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,875

Come on, ninjas.

00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,794

- Ho!

- Mrph!

00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,632

Oh, man, did you see

the look on Craig's face?!

00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,050

That was awesome!

00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,261

Dude, we're like the coolest

kids in the whole state.

00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,638

Hey, fellas.

What's happening?

00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,515

We're playing ninjas, Butters.

00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,142

Wow-ee!

Hey, can I play ninjas with you?

00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,018

No, Butters.

00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,436

We are a very select

elite fighting team sent

00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,355

to protect the world from evil,

and you can't play with us.

00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,773

Yeah. You wouldn't make

a very good ninja.

00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,150

Come on, guys.

We have a lot of work to do.

00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,652

Yes, and no time to do it.

00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,903

No time.

00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,284

I think I'd make

a really good ninja.

00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,660

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,162

Geez, those guys never

let me play with them.

00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:49,415

They just shun me all the time.

00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,874

I'm a lost soul --

00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,876

a dark, lonely shadow

of a person.

00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,670

- Hi, Butters.

- Hi, Mom.

00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:58,424

A castaway forced to live

his life out in solitude.

00:04:58,549 --> 00:04:59,883

It is because of times

like these

00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:01,552

I was forced to a life of evil.

00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:02,970

Society cast me out,

00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,596

and so I vowed

to make them all pay!

00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:05,889

And pay they did.

00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,141

Nobody knows that beneath

00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,393

this sweet, eight-year-old

little boy lies the most evil,

00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,687

most destructive supervillain

of all time!

00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,856

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,567

Professor Chaos!

00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,237

Let's see how you like

dealing with me, ninjas!

00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,281

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,703

Bah!

00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,204

Bah!

00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,664

[ Grunts ]

00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,709

Ooh, Butters.

Are you going out to play again?

00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,046

Yeah, Mom, I'm just going

outside for a little while.

00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,130

Well, could you be a sweetie

00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,965

and take that pie over there

to the Thompsons?

00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:42,259

I made it to thank them

for babysitting you last week.

00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,803

Oh.

Ok-- Okay, Mom.

00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,183

Gah! Aah!

00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,310

Buh! Ugh!

00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228

Buh!

00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,646

[ Grunts ]

00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,858

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,735

STAN: Hmm. This doesn't seem

to be the right way.

00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,861

My ninja sense is telling me

00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,237

we might be heading

in the wrong direction.

00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,280

Okay.

Hang on, guys.

00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,199

I'll use my special power

to see into the future

00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,076

and find out

where we should head next.

00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,203

Hold on, you guys.

I actually have another power.

00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,038

I can see into the future, too,

but better than Kyle.

00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,039

Let me try.

00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,916

God damn it, Cartman,

you can't keep making up powers!

00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,126

Yeah, dude. That's like the

fifth power you've come up with.

00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,879

I am Bulrog, and I have

lots and lots of powers.

00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,173

No, asshole! From now on,

you only get to have one power.

00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,299

So what is it?

00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,427

I have the power

to have all the powers I want.

00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,595

That doesn't count, fat-ass!

00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,680

Yeah, that's it, Cartman.

You don't get any powers.

00:06:28,806 --> 00:06:30,516

[ Whines ]

00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,768

BUTTERS:

Hah! Ha ha ha ha!

00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,897

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the four ninjas.

00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,775

- Who the hell is that?

- I don't know.

00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,068

Craig, is that you?

00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,319

Fools!

00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:46,824

I am Professor Chaos,

bringer of destruction and doom!

00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:50,077

Your feeble ninja powers

are no match for me!

00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:50,994

Whoa.

00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,955

Looks like we have

a sworn enemy, you guys.

00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:53,789

Mrph!

00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,125

Very well, Professor Chaos.

We'll play along.

00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,585

Now feel the fiery sting

of my tonfa of Takanawa!

00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,753

Hyah!

00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,256

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,926

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,761

Hey, kid, that knocks you down.

00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,846

Nunh-unh.

00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,013

Yeah-huh.

I got you.

00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:13,684

Nunh-unh, because my cloak

is made of a titanium alloy

00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,310

that shields me from heat!

00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,689

That's bullcrap!

Titanium alloy, my ass.

00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,649

KYLE: Well, let's see

how he likes the icy blast

00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,984

of my nunchucks of Kuramoto!

00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,569

Ha!

00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:25,446

Aah!

00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:27,197

[ Grunts ]

00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,408

Uh, nice attempt, ninja.

00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:34,079

But now both of you shall feel

the power of my Web of Holding!

00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:37,875

- Aah!

- Aah!

00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,543

- Ugh!

- Ugh!

00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,836

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,380

Now you are both trapped

in spider webs.

00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,090

[ Electricity crackles ]

00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,717

[ Both grunting ]

00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,802

All right, dickhole.

Time for you to pay.

00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,597

[ Creaking ]

00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,683

Oh, no. I have no powers.

Kyle took them away from me.

00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,768

Kyle, give me back my powers so

I can fight this evil villain!

00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,562

Okay, okay.

You can have your powers back.

00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,398

All right.

And now I'll use my power to...

00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,567

turn Kyle into a chicken!

Bah!

00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,110

God damn it, Cartman!

00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,653

♪ Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha! ♪

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,988

♪ Now you are a chicken ♪

00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,490

♪ Nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah,

nyah-nyah! ♪

00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,491

Enough!

00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,160

I grow weary

of your foolishness.

00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,829

Professor Chaos

cannot be stopped.

00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,707

Oh, yeah?

Kenny, use your ninja star!

00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,251

Mrph!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,005

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,299

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,428

[ Birds chirping ]

00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,305

Aaaaaah!

00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,307

[ Wailing ]

00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,309

Oh, shit, dude.

00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,852

Butters!

Oh, my God.

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,480

[ Wailing, sobbing ]

00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,398

Oh, dude,

it's stuck in his eye.

00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,108

What the hell did you do

that for, Kenny?!

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,069

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,154

It hurts!

It hurts!

00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,240

Oh, man!

We are in serious trouble!

00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,491

[ Screaming ]

00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,535

Shh! Shh! It's okay, Butters.

Calm down.

00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,078

I-It's not that bad.

Really.

00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,913

But I can't see nothin'.

00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,290

I got to go to the hospital!

00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,251

[ Wails ]

00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,253

Okay, okay. Calm down, Butters.

It'll be okay.

00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:05,546

[ Gasping ]

00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,756

Guys, meeting over here

for a second.

00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,132

All right, you guys.

00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,510

We need to stay calm

and just do the right thing.

00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,762

We have to kill Butters

and bury him in Kyle's backyard.

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:14,680

Dude, shut up.

00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,764

- I agree with Cartman.

- What?!

00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,432

You don't understand

what my mom will do to me

00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,142

if she finds out I was

playing with weapons!

00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,900

Just stay still, Butters.

00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,402

Uh...

00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:30,988

Uh...

[ Screams ]

00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,240

Stop, dude!

You're gonna scramble his brain!

00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,534

Go ahead and scramble it.

He won't remember it was us.

00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:36,994

You guys can't fix my eyeball!

00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,913

You have to take me

to the hospital!

00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:40,956

If we take him to the hospital,

00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,207

they're gonna find out

what happened.

00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,458

God damn it!

00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,044

God, please,

if you get me out of this,

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,463

I swear I'll never play

with weapons ever again.

00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,549

Don't be so quick to throw off

your ninja responsibility, Kyle.

00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:51,758

Now, come on, guys.

00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,010

Sure, it's easy to be a ninja

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,344

when everything's going

your way.

00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,388

But it's time likes these,

when the chips are down,

00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,056

that a ninja shows

his true character.

00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,349

I-I'm getting woozy.

00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,351

Shut up, Butters.

Now, there's a way out of this.

00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,687

We just have to use

our ninja reasoning.

00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:09,067

We need a doctor,

but we can't go to the hospital.

00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,986

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

What about the veterinarian?

00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,112

Dr. Shafley?

00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,780

He's really old and going blind.

00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,450

So if we make Butters up

to look like a dog...

00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,326

Oh, no.

00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,869

We might pass him off

as our pet.

00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,329

But -- But, fellas, if I --

00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,414

if I dress up like a dog

with a star in my eye,

00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,915

I'm gonna get grounded!

00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,125

- Shut up, Butters!

- Shut up, Butters!

00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,669

That is the dumbest idea

you guys have ever come up with!

00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,172

I'd expect this stupidity

out of Cartman, but you, Stan?

00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,090

Butters needs medical attention

right now!

00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,967

All right. Then you take him

to the hospital, Kyle.

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:34,968

You take him to the hospital

00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,387

and let your mom find out

what happened.

00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,514

[ Whimpering ]

00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,686

Hand me the modeling glue.

We need more fur over here.

00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,104

[ Coughs ]

00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,940

That modeling glue

is making me dizzy.

00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,651

Butters, we're trying to help

you, god damn it!

00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,277

Now stop being such an asshole!

00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,570

We need some more fur.

00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,365

[ Shaver buzzes ]

00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,242

I think that's good.

00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:00,911

Okay.

Let's hear your bark, Butters.

00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,955

[ Whimpering ]

Woof. W-Woof?

00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,875

All right. Now we've just got to

sneak him into town.

00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,169

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,214

Okay.

It's clear.

00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,715

[ Whimpering ]

00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,926

Now, remember, Butters -- When

you get to the vet's office,

00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,762

you need to stay down on all

fours and -- Butters, listen!

00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,306

At the vet's office, stay down

on all fours and bark a lot.

00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,058

[ Whimpering ]

00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,727

Woof. Woof.

Woof.

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,062

We've got to hurry.

It's getting late.

00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,146

[ Metal clanks ]

00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,649

- Oh, shit. Somebody's coming.

- Quick! Hide Butters!

00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:31,775

In here!

00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,028

But -- But, fellas, I got --

00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,864

CRAIG:

Aha! There you are.

00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,200

You guys thought

you were so cool, didn't you?

00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,327

Well, look at what we got.

00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,414

No way.

You got weapons, too?

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:46,540

Where'd you get those?

00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:48,792

From the kn-kn--

From the kn-- From the --

00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,460

From the knife guy

at the county fair.

00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,379

At first he said we needed

our parents' permission,

00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,172

but then we told him

our parents were dead.

00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,758

Aw, man, now every douchebag

in town has a ninja weapon!

00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,759

Lame!

00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,470

So, how would you ninjas

like to do battle?

00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,472

Uh, not now, Craig.

We -- We have to be going.

00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:05,058

You can't pass through this area

until you defend your honor!

00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,685

He said not now, Craig!

00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:07,769

I am not Craig.

00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,732

I am Ginza -- with the powerful

blade of the kintama.

00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,607

Yah!

00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,443

And I am Black Chaku --

00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,403

with the power

of perfect spelling!

00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,780

Guys, we're --

we're really not playing, okay?

00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,949

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,621

W-What --

What's the matter, f-fellas?

00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,708

Are you n-ninjas or p-p-pussies?

00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,793

We're twice the ninjas

you fags are!

00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:32,794

Then fight us.

00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,672

Very well, Clyde.

Yah!

00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,257

I swore to never fight again.

00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,217

We don't have a choice, Kyle.

Just humor them.

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,177

Yah!

00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,386

- Yah!

- Yah!

00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,473

MAN:

♪ Suba-ra-shi chin chin mono ♪

00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:47,434

♪ Kintama no kame aru ♪

00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,312

♪ Sore no oto saru bo bo ♪

00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,732

♪ Iye!

Ninja ga imas-u-u-u-u-u-u ♪

00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,818

♪ Hey, hey,

let's go kenka suru ♪

00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,696

♪ Taisetsu no mono

protect my balls ♪

00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,449

♪ Boku ga warui

so let's fighting ♪

00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,660

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,997

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,625

♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪

00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,711

♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪

00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,339

♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,675

♪ Daijobu

we do it all the time ♪

00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,469

♪ Hey, hey,

let's go kenka suru -- ♪

00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,596

Wait, wait!

Wait, wait! Wa--

00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,473

Hold on a second.

Where's Butters?

00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,184

Oh, no.

Butters!

00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,852

Butters!

00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,188

Oh, nice going, you assholes!

You made us lose him!

00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,439

- Lose who?

- Butters!

00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,899

He got a ninja star stuck

in his eye.

00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,151

And we were taking him to the

vet when you fucked it all up!

00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,069

Butters?!

00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,904

Stuck in his eye?

Was he bleeding?

00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,280

Y-Yeah, a little.

Butters!

00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,324

- Get back here right now!

- Oh, shit.

00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,909

You guys are in trouble.

We're out of here!

00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,702

No, dude!

You got to help us find him!

00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,454

- To hell with that!

- We're in this together, Craig!

00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,122

If Butters tells on us,

we're gonna tell on you.

00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,457

That's ninja code.

00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,668

[ Whimpering ]

00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,753

Hello?

00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,630

Anybody?

00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,632

Woof. Woof?

00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,551

Woof-woof.

[ Whimpers ]

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,511

Woof?

00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,012

Woof?

00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,308

- STAN: Butters?

- KYLE: Butters?

00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,518

- Here, Butters!

- Mrph!

00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,894

- Butters!

- Butters!

00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,063

B-B-B-B-Butters?

00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,398

- Butters!

- Hey, Butters!

00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,524

Dude, look!

00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,901

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,575

Hello, there, children.

00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,410

- ALL: Hey, Chef.

- How's it going?

00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,495

- Bad.

- Why bad?

00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,998

Uh, Chef, you haven't seen

Butters around, have you?

00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,541

No, can't say that I have.

00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,710

Hey, what are you children doing

with those weapons?

00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,628

N-Nothing.

Just...playing.

00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,630

Well, you children

should be careful with those.

00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,591

You could put

somebody's eye out.

00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,884

Yeah, we know.

00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,594

Well, I got to get

to the fairgrounds.

00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,470

They're about to start

the big auction.

00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,471

So long, children.

00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,223

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,434

[ Mumbling ]

00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,900

Woof. Woof!

00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,776

Woof-woof!

00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,194

Oh, my God.

00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,822

What the --

Doctor! Doctor!

00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,866

Jesus Christ.

00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,910

[ Groaning ]

00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:13,747

What kind of sick bastard

would do this to a dog?

00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:14,915

Poor little pup.

00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:15,957

[ Moans ]

00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667

Woof-woof?

00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,294

Can you help him, Doctor?

00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,712

I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.

00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,465

Unfortunately for this little

fella, I'm a people doctor.

00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,133

Best we call the animal shelter.

00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,885

Right away.

00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,932

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,184

NARRATOR: In our last episode,

the four ninjas did battle

00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,227

with Professor Chaos,

bringer of destruction and doom.

00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,438

It was during that great battle

that ninja master Kenny

00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,940

threw his star

into Professor Chaos' eye.

00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,483

Now the ninjas

were in serious trouble

00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,360

because their parents

might find out they had weapons

00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,611

if Professor Chaos told on them.

00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,029

While trying to get

Professor Chaos some aid

00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,364

at the veterinarian's office,

00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,324

the four ninjas ran into Craig

and his three friends.

00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,034

They challenged the four ninjas

to fight,

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,661

and the legendary battle

of Tokutawa began.

00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,121

It was during this battle

that Professor Chaos escaped,

00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,581

so the four ninjas

were forced to join forces

00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,541

with Craig and his friends

to find Professor Chaos,

00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377

or else they would all

be grounded.

00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,628

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:02,796

- Butters?

- Butters?

00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,964

- Here, Butters.

- Mrph!

00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,131

- Butters?

- Butters!

00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,633

Butters, where the hell are you?

00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,801

It's hopeless, dude.

00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,344

Butters must have made it

to the hospital.

00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,763

By now our parents probably know

we were playing with weapons!

00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,306

We have to get rid

of the evidence!

00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,224

What?

00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,934

Dude, we have to get rid

of our weapons

00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,978

so at least we can try

to deny everything.

00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:20,188

Screw that, dude. I paid

20 bucks for these things.

00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,982

Let's just return them

and get our money back.

00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,191

We don't have time for that,

dude!

00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,026

We just have to ditch them --

now!

00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,862

Okay. Go ahead, Kyle.

Throw your nunchucks away.

00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:28,989

If you can.

00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:32,200

But you know damn well that

your Jewish blood won't let you.

00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,411

You can't throw away something

you paid 15 bucks for.

00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,495

Go ahead and try.

00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,497

Screw you, fat-ass!

00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,499

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,001

Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.

00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,836

Right now the Jew in you

is screaming, "No!

00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,713

Those cost money.

Get your money back."

00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,214

You know this to be true.

00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,341

[ Grunting ]

00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:50,677

Go ahead.

00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,388

Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle.

Do it.

00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,307

[ Grunting ]

00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,726

Aah!

00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,188

I-I can't do it.

00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,815

I can't do it.

I...

00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,025

It's all right, Kyle.

00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,027

We'll go back to the fair

and return them.

00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,779

[ Dogs barking, cats meowing ]

00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:13,575

Come on.

00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,036

Come on, little fella.

00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,287

Attaboy.

00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,165

[ Mumbling ]

00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,584

Right over here.

Good dog. Come on.

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,419

There you go.

Right in there.

00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,171

Good dog.

00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,214

[ Mumbling ]

00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,842

[ Dog sniffing ]

00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,478

- Aah!

- [ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:45,065

Somebody threw a ninja star

in that poor puppy's eye?

00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,942

It just makes me sick how

some people can treat animals.

00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,695

Well, nothing we can do for it.

Let's put it to sleep, shall we?

00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,238

Here you go, pup.

00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,157

I've got a sweet dose

of murder for you.

00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,327

What the -- Blast it!

He's escaped!

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:58,411

Oh, well.

00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,622

Let's murder

one of these other dogs.

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,250

KYLE: All right!

The county fair's still open.

00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,172

Can I help you boys?

00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,007

We have come to return

the weapons we purchased.

00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,343

Oh, sorry, kids.

I don't give refunds.

00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,012

Listen, doucher, our parents

are gonna kill us -- and you --

00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,847

if they find out

that we bought these.

00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,682

I thought you told me

your parents were dead.

00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,810

- You guys! You guys!

- What is it, Craig?

00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,228

- It's Butters! We saw him!

- Where?!

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,896

Right on the other side

of the fairgrounds.

00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,189

He's just wandering around

aimlessly.

00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,691

- Then it's not too late!

- Come on, ninjas.

00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,819

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,987

All right, folks,

our next item up for auction

00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,156

is this lovely

19th-century lamp.

00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,700

Oh, crap, dude.

All our parents are there.

00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,119

Butters was right

on the other side.

00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,662

- We have to get past them.

- All right.

00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,373

Looks like I'll have to use my

power of invisibility to get by.

00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,624

You have that power, too?

00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,626

I told you -- Bulrog has

lots and lots of powers.

00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,752

Behold.

00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:54,634

This way, I can move about

the crowd of people undetected.

00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,262

- Here. Hold this stuff for me.

- Good luck, Bulrog.

00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,142

This lamp comes from the estate

of Edna and James Holinger,

00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,352

who lived in upstate Wyoming.

00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,856

It has a bronze finish and

actual gold leaf along the base.

00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,275

This is a really rare

opportunity

00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,985

to own a classic antique.

00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,028

The lamp has been appraised

by our auction staff

00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,822

at well over $2,000,

00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,241

so we're gonna start the bidding

at $375.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,952

Do I -- Do I hear $375?

00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,956

[ Birds chirping ]

00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,384

Kid, what the hell

do you think you're doing?

00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,139

[ Babbling ]

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,476

Butters!

00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,187

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,438

What happened to him?

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,607

Oh, my God!

00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:51,691

Oh, Jesus.

00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,735

Oh, dude,

we are gonna get it now.

00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,154

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,532

All right, people.

00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,993

We are all extremely upset

over what's happened,

00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,828

but let's try to speak

one at a time.

00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,371

Well, like the rest of you,

00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,624

I am shocked and appalled

at what happened.

00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:09,584

I don't know

if the parents are to blame

00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,419

or if it's the times

we're living in,

00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,379

but something has to change!

00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,381

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:18,218

This is the worst thing that's

ever happened in this town --

00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,427

the worst thing!

00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,262

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,180

Yeah!

00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:25,016

I mean, there were children

watching that auction.

00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,893

And when that little

eight-year-old boy

00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,272

walked up and flashed his...

penis, it was an outrage!

00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,774

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,025

I was outraged!

00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,526

What?

00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,110

What?

00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:40,031

Not only that, the auction

was televised on public access.

00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:43,743

So my little daughter watching

at home saw the...penis.

00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,620

How am I supposed to

explain that to her?

00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,829

This is what happens

00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,123

when the moral fabric

of society breaks down.

00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,918

- Yeah!

- It's the fabric's fault!

00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,087

You see the damage

you've caused, Eric Cartman?

00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,255

What were you thinking?!

00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,424

I told you --

It was a wardrobe malfunction.

00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,301

- That's bull!

- No way!

00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,429

Dude, they don't care we knocked

Butters' eye out with weapons?

00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,515

Just run with it, dude.

00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,142

Uh, yeah.

I agree!

00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,978

Uh, my fragile little

eight-year-old mind

00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,854

didn't know how to deal with

what I was seeing.

00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,064

Cartman should be punished!

00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,024

- Yeah! That's right!

- I agree!

00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,484

Hey, fuck you, Kyle!

00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,321

- Dude, I-I can't believe it.

- Yeah!

00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,031

I guess parents don't give

a crap about violence

00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,491

if there's sex things

to worry about.

00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,827

So I guess this means

we get to keep our weapons.

00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,412

Yeah.

Come on, ninjas.

00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,081

We've got some more work to do.

00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,083

- ALL: Hyah!

- ♪ Hey, hey, let's go ♪

00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,668

♪ Kenka suru ♪

00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,337

♪ Taisetsu no mono

protect my balls ♪

00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,799

♪ Boku ga warui

so let's fighting ♪

00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,593

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,555

♪ Let's fighting love ♪

00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,182

♪ Kono uta chotto baka ♪

00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,477

♪ Wake ga wakaranai ♪

00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,397

♪ Eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪

00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,567

♪ Daijobu

we do it all the time ♪

00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,486

♪ Hey, hey,

let's go kenka suru ♪

00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:04,115

♪ Taisetsu no mono

protect my balls ♪