Рождество в Канаде

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

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♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

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♪ Hanukkah, Hanukkah ♪

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♪ Sivivon, sov, sov ♪

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I got to go tinkle.

- ♪ Sov, sov, sov ♪

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No, Ike. Shh!

- ♪ Sov, sov, sov ♪

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♪ Ma nayim vi-tov ♪

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We thank God for our blessings

this Hanukkah.

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Our little family is so loving

and perfect,

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and nothing will ever

tear us apart.

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I'll get it.

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Gerald Broflovski?

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Yes.

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My name is Harry Gints,

and this is my wife, Elise.

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We're from Canada.

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Yes.

I can tell.

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My wife and I had a child

a few years back,

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and we weren't ready

to have a child,

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so we put him up for adoption.

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We were told that you

might be the --

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Peter!

Oh, God, Harry! It's our son!

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Peter, it's Mommy.

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Gerald, what the hell

is going on?

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Uh, I'm not sure.

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It was a tough time for us.

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It was a tough time

for all of Canada.

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The whole country was devastated

by the Cola Wars.

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It just seemed we couldn't

take care of a baby.

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So we put him up for adoption,

but as the years passed,

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I-I just felt an emptiness

in my heart.

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Oh, it's so good to see him!

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Well, we wish you all the best,

Mr. And Mrs. Gints.

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But to be honest,

I think it would be best for Ike

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if you didn't come around again.

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I don't think you understand.

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We didn't come to visit Peter.

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We came to take him back.

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What?

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We want to take Peter home

to Canada.

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Are you crazy?!

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Look, you gave Ike up.

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You can't just change your mind!

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Changing your mind

is a Canadian custom

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that we hold quite dear.

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And besides, the new

Canadian prime minister

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has issued a decree

that all adopted Canadians

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must be returned home.

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The new Canadian prime minister?

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Look, Ike is our son now!

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He doesn't belong here.

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He belongs in Canada

with his own kind.

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I think you'd better leave.

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Please, don't make this

any harder for Peter.

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Harder for Peter?!

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You two just blow in here

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and say you're gonna

haul him back to Canada,

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and we 're being hard on Peter?!

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We're prepared to go to court.

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We had hoped it wouldn't come

to that.

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Well, you bet your ass

it'll come to that!

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I'm sorry to say

that my hands are tied.

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The new prime minister of Canada

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has authority

this court cannot override.

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By Canadian law, I must

award custody of the child

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to his birth parents.

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Yes!

- Yes! Yes!

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No!

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Ike's not my little brother

anymore?

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Gerald, do something!

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There's nothing I can do.

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Goodbye, Ike.

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You...be a good boy, huh?

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You -- You remember all

the things we taught you.

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Ike...you'll always be

my little brother, okay?

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Come on, Peter.

We should get going.

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No.

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Peter, you must come with Mommy

and Daddy.

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No, no, no, no, no!

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I have some chocolate.

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Chocolate!

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We're going to take good care

of him.

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You'd better.

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Dad? Can't we talk to this new

Canadian prime minister?

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If he knew the situation,

he might --

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Oh, Kyle, appealing to

the prime minister of Canada

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would take time and money

we don't have.

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Dude, look at that.

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The Sprinkle Time Make Your Own

Marshmallow Factory.

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I'm definitely asking for that

for Christmas.

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I'm gonna tell my parents to get

me that John Elway doll

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with the karate-chop action.

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Guys.

Guys, I need your help.

00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:03,285

Sure, dude.

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It's been a week

since Ike's been gone,

00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,580

and every day my parents

seem worse.

00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:07,998

I have to try to go to Canada

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and speak with the new

Canadian prime minister.

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But I can't do it alone.

00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,420

We can't go to Canada, dumb-ass!

It's Christmas!

00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,090

Yeah. What if we miss out on

some great Christmas adventure?

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Please, you guys.

You don't understand.

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My family is devastated.

00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,095

My mom just walks around

the house like a zombie,

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and my dad can't stop crying.

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Well, I didn't want to say

anything, Kyle,

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but I think maybe this

is what your family gets

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for being Jewish

at Christmastime.

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Dude, Cartman.

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I'm just saying maybe Jesus

is having a little revenge.

00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,275

I found the number of a really

cheap airline to Canada.

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If we go as soon as possible --

00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,820

Dude, we just can't up

and go to Canada.

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They're about to light

the Christmas tree.

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Maybe you can get your brother

back some other way.

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Kyle, I just want you to know,

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if it were any other time

of the year,

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I still wouldn't help you.

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Three! Two! One!

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As we celebrate

this glorious time,

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we can't forget those families

who are suffering.

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As many of you know,

the Broflovski family

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has recently had their child

torn away from them.

00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,186

As a community, we must do

all we can to ease their pain.

00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,397

Are there any suggestions

how we might help?

00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:18,569

How about we get rid

of all the Mexicans?

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Mr. Garrison, every Christmas

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you suggest we get rid

of all the Mexicans,

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and every Christmas

we tell you no.

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Rats!

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The Broflovskis need money

to appeal their case

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to the new Canadian

prime minister.

00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,000

What if this Christmas,

instead of buying presents,

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we all use that money

to give to the Broflovskis?

00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,713

Ha!

Yeah, right!

00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,090

Like our parents aren't gonna

buy us presents for Christmas.

00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,468

That's a great idea, Chef.

- What?

00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,678

Yeah.

Who needs more stuff, anyway?

00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,598

This Christmas we can do

something that really matters!

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Dad, don't get carried away.

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Then it's settled.

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,685

This year, we'll give

all our Christmas money

00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,188

to the Broflovskis

in hopes that they may someday

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have their child returned

to them.

00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,027

No. No.

This can't be happening!

00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,785

You fucking asshole!

00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,953

This is all your fault!

- What?

00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623

Everyone's gonna be charitable

and give money to your family

00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,375

instead of buying

Christmas presents!

00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,877

You fucking Jews

ruined Christmas again!

00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,545

Aah!

- Whoa. Whoa. Cartman.

00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,714

It wasn't enough for you people

to kill Jesus!

00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,925

Now you have to kill Christmas,

too, huh?!

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,927

Cartman, calm down!

- Is that true?

00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,346

It's true, dude.

Christmas is ruined.

00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,098

This is it, Kyle.

You and me.

00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,974

We're throwing down right now.

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I'm sorry, you guys, but there

is something we can do.

00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,979

We can go to Canada and see

the prime minister like I said.

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If we can change his mind

before Christmas,

00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,858

then your parents won't have to

give my family money.

00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,527

You really think

if we go to Canada,

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,778

we might still get presents?

00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:43,862

It's worth a shot.

00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,781

Come on, you guys.

We can do this.

00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:46,782

Oh, all right.

00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,826

But we'd better not miss out on

any great Christmas adventures.

00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,828

We'll get back in time

for a Christmas adventure.

00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,663

Fine, but if it doesn't work,

00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,248

you and me are gonna

have it out, Kyle.

00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,958

Once and for all.

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No business.

00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:06,301

Christmastime come and nobody

want to eat Chinese food.

00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,930

Looks like

I might as well close.

00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:15,477

Oh, boy! Some business!

Finally!

00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,938

Hello! Chitty Wok!

Take order, please!

00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,314

Oh.

I must have the wrong number.

00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,941

We were trying to reach

City Airlines.

00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,068

Oh. Oh, yes.

Just a moment, please.

00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,530

Hello.

Chitty Airlines.

00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,990

Can I help you take order,

please?

00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,701

Uh, we need to go to Canada

as soon as possible.

00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,579

Ooh, Canada. Okay.

That's pretty far.

00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,956

Gonna cost a lot of money.

Let's see.

00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,833

How many people?

- Four.

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Okay. Four people, Canada,

cost a lot of money.

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,673

Gonna be about 6,500 dorrah.

00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,967

How about 50 dorrah?

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,136

50 dorrah?!

00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,598

You flying to Canada!

Cost at least 3,000 dorrah!

00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,433

55 dorrah.

00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,478

Hey! Stop wasting my time

with 55 dorrah.

00:07:57,603 --> 00:08:01,523

No way I take my plane to Canada

for less than 1,000 dorrah!

00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,650

Okay.

60 dorrah.

00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,403

62 dorrah.

- Okay.

00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,155

Okay.

Meet me Park County Airfield.

00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,616

Yellow Cessna.

Tail number 432G.

00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:11,700

Got it!

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,537

Never try to barter

with a Chinese man.

00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,209

We have exactly 52 hours

before Christmas.

00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,169

That means we have to be back

in 28 hours

00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,838

to still give our parents

24 hours to buy us presents.

00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,256

Synchronize watches on my mark.

00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,257

Mark.

00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,552

Hello!

Welcome Chitty Airline!

00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,347

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

I am not flying in that thing.

00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,348

Mrph.

00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,475

Why not?

- Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,644

You're not gonna die, Kenny!

Don't be stupid!

00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:39,645

You guys go get Ike.

00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,605

Kenny and I will stay here

and watch the fort.

00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,648

No.

You're both coming.

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,233

Do you care about Christmas

or not?

00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,651

Of course I care

about Christmas!

00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,319

Oh, Christ on a stick!

00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,990

Oh, dude, it smells like

kung pao chicken in here.

00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,909

Okay.

Welcome aboard Chitty Airline.

00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,536

This is your captain speaking.

00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,162

Looking about two-hour flight.

00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,081

I'll be turning on

the seat belt sign now.

00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,541

If your seats had seat belts,

00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,334

this is the time

you would fasten them.

00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,046

Please sit back, relax,

and enjoy your Chitty flight.

00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,013

All right!

We're going to Canada!

00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,682

Weak.

00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,907

Hey.

Turn off the light.

00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,243

Whoa.

Wait! Oh. Oh!

00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,953

What's going on?

00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,914

Hello from the cockpit.

This is your captain speaking.

00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,333

As you can see, it appears

that we are going down.

00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,877

Now would be a good time

to reflect on your life

00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,046

and pray to whatever deity

you believe in.

00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,881

Thank you for flying

Chitty Airlines.

00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,383

We know you have

a choice in airlines,

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,468

and it looks like

you made the wrong one.

00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,887

Hey!

Where the hell are you going?!

00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,309

Do something, Kyle!

- I'm trying!

00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,061

Look out!

- Mrphhhh!

00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,656

You guys.

00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,117

I don't think we're in America

anymore.

00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:23,707

Excuse me!

Uh, is this an invasion?

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,459

No.

00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,461

Oh, thank heavens!

It's okay.

00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:28,920

Everyone, it's not an invasion!

00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,799

I was sure when that plane

fell from the sky

00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:33,967

that we had an invader!

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,594

Hey, we're in Canada!

00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,220

Well, of course you are!

00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,556

And Canada, friends,

welcomes you!

00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,184

♪ Welcome, friends, to Canada ♪

00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,894

♪ Canada, friends, loves you ♪

00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,520

♪ We're just like

any other country ♪

00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,938

♪ Without the big to-do ♪

00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,649

We greet thee with pleasure.

00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,359

But one question, if we may.

00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,071

What brings you folks to Canada?

Why are you here today?

00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:58,325

Uh, my adopted brother

got taken back here to Canada.

00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,869

So we want to talk to

the new Canadian prime minister

00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,204

about getting him back.

00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,872

♪ His brother's here somewhere ♪

00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,374

♪ The question is, is where? ♪

00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,209

♪ He must talk to

the new prime minister here ♪

00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,627

♪ To get his brother home

back there ♪

00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,420

Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,714

Hey!

What the hell is going on?!

00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,384

It's Scott!

00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,344

Aah!

Get away!

00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,596

Who damaged

our beloved Canadian land?

00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,932

Who's that?

- That's Scott. He's a dick!

00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,727

Aha! Americans!

I should have known!

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,187

You think you're the police

of the world!

00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,271

You think you own Canada!

00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,774

Well, you aren't welcome here.

Get out now!

00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,943

Oh, no, you don't, Scott.

Leave these boys alone.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,778

This isn't over,

you American scum.

00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,780

I swear to God,

you'll rue this day!

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,409

God!

What a dick!

00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,411

Look, we don't have

a lot of time here, okay?

00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,579

Can you just tell us

where the new prime minister is?

00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,873

The new prime minister doesn't

live in this part of Canada.

00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,041

He's in Ottawa.

00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,462

So, how do we get to Ottawa?

- Oh, that's easy.

00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,047

You just have to follow

the road.

00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,173

Which road?

00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,135

This is Canada.

We only have one road.

00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,137

♪ Follow the only road ♪

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,930

♪ Follow the only road ♪

00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,598

♪ To go anywhere in Canada ♪

00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,308

♪ You just follow

the only road ♪

00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:07,185

♪ There's only one road

in Canada ♪

00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,937

♪ We call it the road,

the only road ♪

00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,065

♪ Hip-hip hooray!

Let's hear it for our road ♪

00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,818

♪ It's paved and wide

and up to code ♪

00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:15,652

All right, dude.

00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,028

Let's get the hell out of here.

- Word.

00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,613

♪ You're off to see

the prime minister ♪

00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,574

♪ The prime minister of Canada ♪

00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,825

Goodbye, friends!

00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,618

Good luck with

the new prime minister!

00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,037

And remember to watch out

for Scott. He's a dick!

00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,038

Goodbye!

- So long!

00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,374

See you!

- Watch out for Scott!

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,836

20 hours until Christmas.

00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:36,089

Our parents still have time

to buy us presents if we hurry.

00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,842

Ahoy there, travelers!

- Who are you?

00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:42,304

I am Rick,

the proud Canadian Mountie.

00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,017

I thought Mounties

were supposed to ride horses.

00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,352

Yes.

Yes, we are.

00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:52,230

But our funding has been cut,

and now we're forced to ride...

00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,276

We're in a rush

to see the new prime minister.

00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,361

You're going to see

the new prime minister?

00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,197

Oh, I would so like

to meet him myself.

00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,532

It's his strange new laws

that took our horses away.

00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,950

Perhaps I will go with you.

00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,535

That's okay.

We'd rather go by ourselves.

00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,204

Follow me this way!

00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,663

♪ We're going to see

the prime minister ♪

00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,874

♪ The prime minister of Canada ♪

00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:14,544

Power-hungry Americans.

I'll fix you!

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,300

Oh, Jesus. 18 hours.

We're running out of time.

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,676

All right, boys.

Prepare yourselves.

00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,678

We're about to enter

French Canada.

00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,222

French Canada?

00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:28,058

♪ There's no Canada

like French Canada ♪

00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,310

♪ It's the best Canada

in the land ♪

00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,854

♪ The other Canada

is hardly Canada ♪

00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,856

♪ If you lived here for a day,

you'd understand ♪

00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,735

Ha ha ha!

Welcome to French Canada!

00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,821

We have everything

your heart could desire.

00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:44,032

Trapezes, trampolines,

and lots and lots of cheese.

00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,243

Would you like a mustache?

00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,202

Just stay calm, boys.

00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,079

French Canadians

are a little odd.

00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,665

Uh, we're just passing through

to see the new prime minister.

00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:54,543

Well, first you must answer

that phone.

00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,670

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,380

We don't have time for this.

00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,173

You cannot pass through

French Canada

00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,050

unless you take that phone call!

00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,885

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:06,888

Hello.

00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,641

Hello! If you are going to see

the new prime minister,

00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,101

then I want to go with you.

00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,310

He has passed a new law

00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,855

forbidding us French Canadians

to drink wine!

00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,773

How can the French

not drink wine?

00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:17,774

Travesty!

00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,317

Okay.

You can come with us.

00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,571

Ho ho! Very good!

Let us make haste!

00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,323

♪ There's no Canada

like French Canada ♪

00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,868

♪ It's the best Canada

in the land ♪

00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:30,287

♪ And the other Canada

is a bullshit Canada ♪

00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,123

♪ If you lived here for a day,

you'd understand ♪

00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,667

I think you'd understand.

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,460

You understand.

00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,386

Oh, my! This certainly is

a desolate place.

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,889

It reminds me of death and fear.

00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,725

How much further to Ottawa?

Christmas is only 12 hours away!

00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,560

We must be very close now.

00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,353

Hey!

What are you doing?

00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:57,981

Oh, no.

It's Scott!

00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,858

What are you two doing

helping these Americans?

00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,651

Don't you know America thinks

it owns Canada

00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,069

along with the rest

of the world?

00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,487

You're a dick, Scott!

00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:05,488

You're a dick!

00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,866

And by helping Americans, you're

just as smelly as they are!

00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,242

Now I'm going to get you!

00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,452

Not so fast, Scott.

00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,661

Who the hell are you?

00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,121

I am Steve the Newfoundlander,

00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,831

and you're on Newfoundland

property now.

00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,374

Get off

before I have you arrested.

00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,877

Oh! This isn't over!

Not by a long shot!

00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,630

I'll fix you!

I'll fix all of you!

00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,465

Ooh.

That was a close call.

00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,841

Thank you, kind Newfie.

00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,510

God damn it, we need to get

to the new prime minister now!

00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,137

Oh, yeah?

The prime minister, eh?

00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,931

He sure has screwed up things

for Newfoundland.

00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,683

Life just hasn't been the same

since he made sodomy illegal.

00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:34,851

Well, come with us!

00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,354

Maybe you can ask to him

to take his sodomy ban away.

00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,064

Can we just get going, please?

00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,815

Yeah. Sure.

Except there's just one problem.

00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:41,733

What?

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,652

You folks is going

the wrong way.

00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,321

What?! But I thought there

was only one road in Canada!

00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,365

Yeah, and you all went

the wrong direction on it.

00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,034

Oh, that's right!

Ottawa is that way.

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,120

Of course.

Ottawa left, Newfoundland right.

00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,455

Oh, no!

00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,290

How could you be so stupid?!

00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,959

There's no way

we can go all the way back!

00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,460

We'll never make it now!

00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:01,586

It's okay, boys.

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,880

The power is inside us

to get to Ottawa.

00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,590

We can wish ourselves there.

00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,801

Oh, yes.

Let's wish ourselves there.

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,185

Is it working?

- Oh, God damn it!

00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,186

Well, I warned you, Kyle.

00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,437

I told you if I missed

Ch ristmas,

00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:20,522

we were gonna throw down.

00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:21,523

Well, it's on.

00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,692

We're gonna have it out

right now!

00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,277

Of course, we could always

take my boat, eh?

00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:29,781

Oh, yes! On the river, we could

travel to Ottawa in no time!

00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,533

Well, come on!

00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:36,162

Okay. Next stop --

the new prime minister.

00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,081

Do you think

we can still make it in time?

00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,501

We better, Kyle.

Or you're dead.

00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,800

Here we are

at the Parliament building.

00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,760

The prime minister is inside.

00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,221

Well, come on. Let's hurry!

It's almost Christmas!

00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,601

Yes?

00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,395

We need to see

the new prime minister.

00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,771

Ha!

Impossible!

00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:04,524

The new prime minister

is not seeing anybody.

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,443

Oh, well.

So much for that.

00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:07,444

We gave it our best,

00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,612

but I guess our best

wasn't good enough, eh?

00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:10,697

No.

00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,198

No!

00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,616

Yes?

00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,869

Please, sir! I've traveled

a long way to get here.

00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,454

He's the only person

who can help me.

00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,289

The prime minister isn't here.

00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,249

He's in China

on official business.

00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,252

So you might as well go home.

Goodbye!

00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,212

Then that's it.

00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,798

I-I'm never going to get

my brother back.

00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:32,635

And...I'm not going to get

any Christmas presents.

00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,180

And I'm not gonna have

a Christmas adventure.

00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,515

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,856

Oh, please!

Please stop crying!

00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,233

I'm gonna kill you, Kyle.

00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,194

All right. All right.

I was lying!

00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:50,695

The prime minister is here.

00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,364

Really?!

- Yes. Yes. Come in!

00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,707

I am the prime minister

of Canada!

00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,626

What do you guys want?

00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,254

Sir, you recently passed

a new law

00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,423

allowing parents who had given

their children up for adoption

00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,800

to change their minds.

00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,010

- My little brother --

- Not so fast!

00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,721

Ike!

- Kyle!

00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,140

Prime Minister, these are

the child's Canadian parents.

00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,476

Their Canadian blood

pumps through his veins.

00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,687

Would you send him to America

with those war-hungry scum?

00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897

Please, sir.

00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,274

I came because I don't think

Ike belongs here.

00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,401

Family isn't about whose blood

you have in you.

00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,237

Family is about the people

who cared about you

00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,571

and took care of you.

00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,366

We're not the same blood,

but I love my little brother.

00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,743

We've taken care of him

because he needed us to.

00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,413

And that makes us more family

than anything.

00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,959

That was a great speech, guy.

00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,086

But the answer is no!

00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,923

All of my new laws

will stay in effect forever!

00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,758

Ha ha!

You lose, Americans!

00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,761

Then I suppose us Mounties

will never get our horses.

00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,638

And we won't get our wine.

00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,515

And we can't perform sodomy, eh?

00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,767

But why are you making

such strange laws?

00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,811

I said go!

00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,649

Oh, my God!

They killed Kenny!

00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,693

You...bastards.

00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,611

What -- What the hell

is wrong with you?

00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,281

What kind of prime minister

bases his decisions on hatred

00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,367

and takes away Mounties' horses

and French people's wine?

00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,578

What the hell kind of

prime minister are you, anyway?

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,455

I am the prime minister

of Canada!

00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,000

I can do whatever I...

00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:28,751

Uh-oh.

00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:31,045

Uh, don't mind that guy hiding

in the spider hole.

00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,046

He's just my friend.

00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,423

What the hell?

00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,300

Hey, that looks like

Saddam Hussein!

00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,011

Saddam Hussein?

No! Relax, buddy.

00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,304

I'm not him.

00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,638

That explains everything.

00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,473

The new prime minister

was Saddam Hussein,

00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,601

once again trying to take over

our beloved Canada

00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,768

like he did before.

00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,020

Saddam Hussein?

00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,354

He was fooling us?

00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:49,397

Get him!

00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,192

Uh, don't shoot!

I want to negotiate!

00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,359

Hey!

Relax!

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:54,485

Aah!

00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,486

Wait a minute!

00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,280

This means all

the prime minister's new laws

00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,656

are null and void.

00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,200

We can have our horses back!

00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,826

And we can drink our wine!

00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,870

And I can sodomize me boys

again.

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,247

Young man,

you must really care for Peter

00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,957

to have come all this way.

00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,210

Perhaps we were wrong

to try and take Peter back.

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,213

He doesn't belong here.

He belongs with his family.

00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:17,383

Peter, would you like to go

back to your home in Colorado?

00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,350

What is that?

00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:28,353

It's Christmas.

We officially missed it.

00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:31,606

It's Christmas Day,

and...I'm in Canada.

00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,566

Well, yeah.

But I got my brother back.

00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,861

Yeah, you got your brother back,

but I didn't get any presents!

00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,529

And what did I tell you, Kyle?!

00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,531

I told you if we didn't make it

back in time for Christmas,

00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:41,866

I was gonna whoop your ass,

didn't I?!

00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:42,700

Dude, come on.

00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,327

Now you're gonna get it,

motherfucker.

00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:47,330

That's right. You and me,

right now, we're having it out!

00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,749

Let's go! Come on!

Come on!

00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,220

Mo-o-m!

00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,681

Mo-o-o-o-m!

00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:05,765

Hey, come on, boys!

00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,394

You can spend Christmas

with us -- Canada style!

00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,315

♪ Ding, dong,

they caught Saddam ♪

00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,984

♪ Merry Christmas to the world ♪

00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,903

♪ Ding, dong,

the Americans caught Saddam ♪

00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,240

♪ Now Canada is free

for you and you and me ♪

00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,285

♪ It's the best Christmas

present we ever got ♪

00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,078

♪ Canadian Christmas --

It's the best ♪

00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,830

♪ We drink and dance

and show our breasts ♪

00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,747

♪ And celebrate ♪

00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:32,375

♪ Saddam Hussein's been caught ♪

00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:33,751

Oh, well.

00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:36,796

Maybe we'll get to have

a Christmas adventure next year.

00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,098

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,894

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,730

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,356

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,735

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,904

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,159

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:39,373

♪ Hanukkah, Hanukkah ♪

00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,375

♪ Sivivon, sov, sov ♪

00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,626

I got to go tinkle.

- ♪ Sov, sov, sov ♪

00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:43,711

No, Ike. Shh!

- ♪ Sov, sov, sov ♪

00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,505

♪ Ma nayim vi-tov ♪

00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,216

We thank God for our blessings

this Hanukkah.

00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,178

Our little family is so loving

and perfect,

00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,388

and nothing will ever

tear us apart.

00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:55,890

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:57,683

I'll get it.

00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,103

Gerald Broflovski?

00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,063

Yes.

00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:04,565

My name is Harry Gints,

and this is my wife, Elise.

00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,192

We're from Canada.

00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:07,651

Yes.

I can tell.

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,029

My wife and I had a child

a few years back,

00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,989

and we weren't ready

to have a child,

00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,532

so we put him up for adoption.

00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,034

We were told that you

might be the --

00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,870

Peter!

Oh, God, Harry! It's our son!

00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,039

Peter, it's Mommy.

00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,083

Gerald, what the hell

is going on?

00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,251

Uh, I'm not sure.

00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,087

It was a tough time for us.

00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,755

It was a tough time

for all of Canada.

00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,508

The whole country was devastated

by the Cola Wars.

00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,593

It just seemed we couldn't

take care of a baby.

00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,054

So we put him up for adoption,

but as the years passed,

00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,556

I-I just felt an emptiness

in my heart.

00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,725

Oh, it's so good to see him!

00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,603

Well, we wish you all the best,

Mr. And Mrs. Gints.

00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,481

But to be honest,

I think it would be best for Ike

00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,650

if you didn't come around again.

00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,401

I don't think you understand.

00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,070

We didn't come to visit Peter.

00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,696

We came to take him back.

00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:53,781

What?

00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,075

We want to take Peter home

to Canada.

00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,243

Are you crazy?!

00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,869

Look, you gave Ike up.

00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,663

You can't just change your mind!

00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,289

Changing your mind

is a Canadian custom

00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:03,457

that we hold quite dear.

00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,584

And besides, the new

Canadian prime minister

00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,711

has issued a decree

that all adopted Canadians

00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:09,421

must be returned home.

00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,382

The new Canadian prime minister?

00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,425

Look, Ike is our son now!

00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:14,927

He doesn't belong here.

00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,012

He belongs in Canada

with his own kind.

00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,472

I think you'd better leave.

00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,141

Please, don't make this

any harder for Peter.

00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,517

Harder for Peter?!

00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,810

You two just blow in here

00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,645

and say you're gonna

haul him back to Canada,

00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,480

and we 're being hard on Peter?!

00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:27,523

We're prepared to go to court.

00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,941

We had hoped it wouldn't come

to that.

00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,235

Well, you bet your ass

it'll come to that!

00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,447

JUDGE: I'm sorry to say

that my hands are tied.

00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,907

The new prime minister of Canada

00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,160

has authority

this court cannot override.

00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,954

By Canadian law, I must

award custody of the child

00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,372

to his birth parents.

00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,249

Yes!

- Yes! Yes!

00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,000

No!

00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,252

Ike's not my little brother

anymore?

00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,628

Gerald, do something!

00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,297

There's nothing I can do.

00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:52,882

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,342

[ Sobbing ]

- Goodbye, Ike.

00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,095

You...be a good boy, huh?

00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,682

You -- You remember all

the things we taught you.

00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,687

Ike...you'll always be

my little brother, okay?

00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,522

Come on, Peter.

We should get going.

00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,482

No.

00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,109

Peter, you must come with Mommy

and Daddy.

00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,195

No, no, no, no, no!

00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,405

I have some chocolate.

00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,157

Chocolate!

00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,493

We're going to take good care

of him.

00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:22,828

You'd better.

00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:37,051

Dad? Can't we talk to this new

Canadian prime minister?

00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,719

If he knew the situation,

he might --

00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:41,639

Oh, Kyle, appealing to

the prime minister of Canada

00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:45,476

would take time and money

we don't have.

00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,272

Dude, look at that.

00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,317

The Sprinkle Time Make Your Own

Marshmallow Factory.

00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,569

I'm definitely asking for that

for Christmas.

00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,655

I'm gonna tell my parents to get

me that John Elway doll

00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,324

with the karate-chop action.

00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,243

Guys.

Guys, I need your help.

00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:03,285

Sure, dude.

00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,995

It's been a week

since Ike's been gone,

00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,580

and every day my parents

seem worse.

00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:07,998

I have to try to go to Canada

00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,917

and speak with the new

Canadian prime minister.

00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,126

But I can't do it alone.

00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,420

We can't go to Canada, dumb-ass!

It's Christmas!

00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,090

Yeah. What if we miss out on

some great Christmas adventure?

00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,800

Please, you guys.

You don't understand.

00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,176

My family is devastated.

00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,095

My mom just walks around

the house like a zombie,

00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,846

and my dad can't stop crying.

00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,598

Well, I didn't want to say

anything, Kyle,

00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:26,433

but I think maybe this

is what your family gets

00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,185

for being Jewish

at Christmastime.

00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,103

Dude, Cartman.

00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,981

I'm just saying maybe Jesus

is having a little revenge.

00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,275

I found the number of a really

cheap airline to Canada.

00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,693

If we go as soon as possible --

00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,820

Dude, we just can't up

and go to Canada.

00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,488

They're about to light

the Christmas tree.

00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,074

Maybe you can get your brother

back some other way.

00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,288

Kyle, I just want you to know,

00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:48,956

if it were any other time

of the year,

00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,083

I still wouldn't help you.

00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,338

ALL:

Three! Two! One!

00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,091

[ Cheers and applause ]

00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,926

As we celebrate

this glorious time,

00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,012

we can't forget those families

who are suffering.

00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,431

As many of you know,

the Broflovski family

00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,725

has recently had their child

torn away from them.

00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,186

As a community, we must do

all we can to ease their pain.

00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,397

Are there any suggestions

how we might help?

00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:18,569

How about we get rid

of all the Mexicans?

00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,280

Mr. Garrison, every Christmas

00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,032

you suggest we get rid

of all the Mexicans,

00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,075

and every Christmas

we tell you no.

00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,368

Rats!

00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,996

The Broflovskis need money

to appeal their case

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,497

to the new Canadian

prime minister.

00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,000

What if this Christmas,

instead of buying presents,

00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:36,128

we all use that money

to give to the Broflovskis?

00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,713

Ha!

Yeah, right!

00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,090

Like our parents aren't gonna

buy us presents for Christmas.

00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,468

That's a great idea, Chef.

- What?

00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,678

Yeah.

Who needs more stuff, anyway?

00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,598

This Christmas we can do

something that really matters!

00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,016

Dad, don't get carried away.

00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,017

Then it's settled.

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,685

This year, we'll give

all our Christmas money

00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,188

to the Broflovskis

in hopes that they may someday

00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,856

have their child returned

to them.

00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,399

[ Crowd cheering ]

00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,027

No. No.

This can't be happening!

00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:04,406

[ Crying ]

00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,116

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,785

You fucking asshole!

00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:09,953

This is all your fault!

- What?

00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623

Everyone's gonna be charitable

and give money to your family

00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,375

instead of buying

Christmas presents!

00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,877

You fucking Jews

ruined Christmas again!

00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,545

Aah!

- Whoa. Whoa. Cartman.

00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,714

It wasn't enough for you people

to kill Jesus!

00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,925

Now you have to kill Christmas,

too, huh?!

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,927

Cartman, calm down!

- Is that true?

00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,346

It's true, dude.

Christmas is ruined.

00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,098

This is it, Kyle.

You and me.

00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,974

We're throwing down right now.

00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,268

I'm sorry, you guys, but there

is something we can do.

00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,979

We can go to Canada and see

the prime minister like I said.

00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,773

If we can change his mind

before Christmas,

00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,858

then your parents won't have to

give my family money.

00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,527

You really think

if we go to Canada,

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,778

we might still get presents?

00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:43,862

It's worth a shot.

00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,781

Come on, you guys.

We can do this.

00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:46,782

Oh, all right.

00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,826

But we'd better not miss out on

any great Christmas adventures.

00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,828

We'll get back in time

for a Christmas adventure.

00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,663

Fine, but if it doesn't work,

00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,248

you and me are gonna

have it out, Kyle.

00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:55,958

Once and for all.

00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,420

[ "Greensleeves" plays ]

00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,463

No business.

00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:06,301

Christmastime come and nobody

want to eat Chinese food.

00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,930

Looks like

I might as well close.

00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,849

[ Telephone rings ]

00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:15,477

Oh, boy! Some business!

Finally!

00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,938

Hello! Chitty Wok!

Take order, please!

00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,314

Oh.

I must have the wrong number.

00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,941

We were trying to reach

City Airlines.

00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,068

Oh. Oh, yes.

Just a moment, please.

00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,530

Hello.

Chitty Airlines.

00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,990

Can I help you take order,

please?

00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,701

Uh, we need to go to Canada

as soon as possible.

00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,579

Ooh, Canada. Okay.

That's pretty far.

00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,956

Gonna cost a lot of money.

Let's see.

00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,833

How many people?

- Four.

00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,919

Okay. Four people, Canada,

cost a lot of money.

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,673

Gonna be about 6,500 dorrah.

00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,967

How about 50 dorrah?

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,136

50 dorrah?!

00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,598

You flying to Canada!

Cost at least 3,000 dorrah!

00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,433

55 dorrah.

00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,478

Hey! Stop wasting my time

with 55 dorrah.

00:07:57,603 --> 00:08:01,523

No way I take my plane to Canada

for less than 1,000 dorrah!

00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,650

Okay.

60 dorrah.

00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,403

62 dorrah.

- Okay.

00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,155

Okay.

Meet me Park County Airfield.

00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,616

Yellow Cessna.

Tail number 432G.

00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:11,700

Got it!

00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,035

[ Giggles ]

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,537

Never try to barter

with a Chinese man.

00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,372

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,209

We have exactly 52 hours

before Christmas.

00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,169

That means we have to be back

in 28 hours

00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,838

to still give our parents

24 hours to buy us presents.

00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,256

Synchronize watches on my mark.

00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,257

Mark.

00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,552

Hello!

Welcome Chitty Airline!

00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,347

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

I am not flying in that thing.

00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,348

Mrph.

00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,475

Why not?

- Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,644

You're not gonna die, Kenny!

Don't be stupid!

00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:39,645

You guys go get Ike.

00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,605

Kenny and I will stay here

and watch the fort.

00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,648

No.

You're both coming.

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:44,233

Do you care about Christmas

or not?

00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,651

Of course I care

about Christmas!

00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,319

Oh, Christ on a stick!

00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,990

Oh, dude, it smells like

kung pao chicken in here.

00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,909

Okay.

Welcome aboard Chitty Airline.

00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,536

This is your captain speaking.

00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,162

Looking about two-hour flight.

00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,081

I'll be turning on

the seat belt sign now.

00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,541

If your seats had seat belts,

00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,334

this is the time

you would fasten them.

00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,046

Please sit back, relax,

and enjoy your Chitty flight.

00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,049

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,013

KYLE: All right!

We're going to Canada!

00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,682

CARTMAN:

Weak.

00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,102

[ Engine humming ]

00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,905

[ Dramatic music plays ]

- [ Engine sputters ]

00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,907

Hey.

Turn off the light.

00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,243

Whoa.

Wait! Oh. Oh!

00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,953

What's going on?

00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,914

Hello from the cockpit.

This is your captain speaking.

00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,333

As you can see, it appears

that we are going down.

00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,877

Now would be a good time

to reflect on your life

00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,046

and pray to whatever deity

you believe in.

00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,881

Thank you for flying

Chitty Airlines.

00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,383

We know you have

a choice in airlines,

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,468

and it looks like

you made the wrong one.

00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,887

Hey!

Where the hell are you going?!

00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,309

Do something, Kyle!

- I'm trying!

00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,061

Look out!

- Mrphhhh!

00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,109

[ Birds chirping ]

00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,656

You guys.

00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,117

I don't think we're in America

anymore.

00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:23,707

Excuse me!

Uh, is this an invasion?

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,459

No.

00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,461

Oh, thank heavens!

It's okay.

00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:28,920

Everyone, it's not an invasion!

00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,964

[ Indistinct shouting ]

00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,799

I was sure when that plane

fell from the sky

00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:33,967

that we had an invader!

00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,594

Hey, we're in Canada!

00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,220

Well, of course you are!

00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,556

And Canada, friends,

welcomes you!

00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,184

♪ Welcome, friends, to Canada ♪

00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,894

♪ Canada, friends, loves you ♪

00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,520

♪ We're just like

any other country ♪

00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,938

♪ Without the big to-do ♪

00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,649

We greet thee with pleasure.

00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,359

But one question, if we may.

00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,071

What brings you folks to Canada?

Why are you here today?

00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:58,325

Uh, my adopted brother

got taken back here to Canada.

00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,869

So we want to talk to

the new Canadian prime minister

00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,204

about getting him back.

00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,872

♪ His brother's here somewhere ♪

00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,374

♪ The question is, is where? ♪

00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,209

♪ He must talk to

the new prime minister here ♪

00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,627

♪ To get his brother home

back there ♪

00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,420

Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,714

Hey!

What the hell is going on?!

00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,384

It's Scott!

- [ Crowd screaming ]

00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,344

Aah!

Get away!

00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,596

Who damaged

our beloved Canadian land?

00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,932

Who's that?

- That's Scott. He's a dick!

00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,727

Aha! Americans!

I should have known!

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,187

You think you're the police

of the world!

00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,271

You think you own Canada!

00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,774

Well, you aren't welcome here.

Get out now!

00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,943

Oh, no, you don't, Scott.

Leave these boys alone.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,778

This isn't over,

you American scum.

00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,780

I swear to God,

you'll rue this day!

00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,409

God!

What a dick!

00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,411

Look, we don't have

a lot of time here, okay?

00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,579

Can you just tell us

where the new prime minister is?

00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,873

The new prime minister doesn't

live in this part of Canada.

00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,041

He's in Ottawa.

00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,210

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,462

So, how do we get to Ottawa?

- Oh, that's easy.

00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,047

You just have to follow

the road.

00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,173

Which road?

00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,135

This is Canada.

We only have one road.

00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,137

♪ Follow the only road ♪

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,930

♪ Follow the only road ♪

00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,598

♪ To go anywhere in Canada ♪

00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,308

♪ You just follow

the only road ♪

00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:07,185

♪ There's only one road

in Canada ♪

00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,937

♪ We call it the road,

the only road ♪

00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,065

♪ Hip-hip hooray!

Let's hear it for our road ♪

00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,818

♪ It's paved and wide

and up to code ♪

00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:15,652

All right, dude.

00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,028

Let's get the hell out of here.

- Word.

00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,613

♪ You're off to see

the prime minister ♪

00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,574

♪ The prime minister of Canada ♪

00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,825

Goodbye, friends!

00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,618

Good luck with

the new prime minister!

00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,037

And remember to watch out

for Scott. He's a dick!

00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:27,038

Goodbye!

- So long!

00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,374

See you!

- Watch out for Scott!

00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,042

[ Birds chirping ]

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,836

20 hours until Christmas.

00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:36,089

Our parents still have time

to buy us presents if we hurry.

00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,842

Ahoy there, travelers!

- Who are you?

00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:42,304

I am Rick,

the proud Canadian Mountie.

00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,431

[ Bleating ]

00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,017

I thought Mounties

were supposed to ride horses.

00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,352

Yes.

Yes, we are.

00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:52,230

But our funding has been cut,

and now we're forced to ride...

00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,149

[ Bleats ]

00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,276

We're in a rush

to see the new prime minister.

00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,361

[ Gasps ] You're going to see

the new prime minister?

00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,197

Oh, I would so like

to meet him myself.

00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,532

It's his strange new laws

that took our horses away.

00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,950

Perhaps I will go with you.

00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,535

That's okay.

We'd rather go by ourselves.

00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,204

Follow me this way!

00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,663

♪ We're going to see

the prime minister ♪

00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,874

♪ The prime minister of Canada ♪

00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:14,544

Power-hungry Americans.

I'll fix you!

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,300

Oh, Jesus. 18 hours.

We're running out of time.

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,676

All right, boys.

Prepare yourselves.

00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,678

We're about to enter

French Canada.

00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,222

French Canada?

00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:28,058

♪ There's no Canada

like French Canada ♪

00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,310

♪ It's the best Canada

in the land ♪

00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,854

♪ The other Canada

is hardly Canada ♪

00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,856

♪ If you lived here for a day,

you'd understand ♪

00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,735

Ha ha ha!

Welcome to French Canada!

00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,821

We have everything

your heart could desire.

00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:44,032

Trapezes, trampolines,

and lots and lots of cheese.

00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,243

Would you like a mustache?

00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,202

Just stay calm, boys.

00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,079

French Canadians

are a little odd.

00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,665

Uh, we're just passing through

to see the new prime minister.

00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:54,543

Well, first you must answer

that phone.

00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,670

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,380

We don't have time for this.

00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,173

You cannot pass through

French Canada

00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,050

unless you take that phone call!

00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,885

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:06,888

Hello.

00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,641

Hello! If you are going to see

the new prime minister,

00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,101

then I want to go with you.

00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,310

He has passed a new law

00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,855

forbidding us French Canadians

to drink wine!

00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,773

How can the French

not drink wine?

00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:17,774

Travesty!

00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,317

Okay.

You can come with us.

00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,571

Ho ho! Very good!

Let us make haste!

00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,323

♪ There's no Canada

like French Canada ♪

00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,868

♪ It's the best Canada

in the land ♪

00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:30,287

♪ And the other Canada

is a bullshit Canada ♪

00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,123

♪ If you lived here for a day,

you'd understand ♪

00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,667

I think you'd understand.

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,460

You understand.

00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,386

Oh, my! This certainly is

a desolate place.

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,889

It reminds me of death and fear.

00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,725

How much further to Ottawa?

Christmas is only 12 hours away!

00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,560

We must be very close now.

00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,353

Hey!

What are you doing?

00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,187

[ Screams ]

00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:57,981

Oh, no.

It's Scott!

00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,858

What are you two doing

helping these Americans?

00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,651

Don't you know America thinks

it owns Canada

00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,069

along with the rest

of the world?

00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,487

You're a dick, Scott!

00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:05,488

You're a dick!

00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,866

And by helping Americans, you're

just as smelly as they are!

00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,242

Now I'm going to get you!

00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,452

Not so fast, Scott.

00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,661

Who the hell are you?

00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,121

I am Steve the Newfoundlander,

00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,831

and you're on Newfoundland

property now.

00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:16,374

Get off

before I have you arrested.

00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,877

Oh! This isn't over!

Not by a long shot!

00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,630

I'll fix you!

I'll fix all of you!

00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,465

Ooh.

That was a close call.

00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,841

Thank you, kind Newfie.

00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,510

God damn it, we need to get

to the new prime minister now!

00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,137

Oh, yeah?

The prime minister, eh?

00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,931

He sure has screwed up things

for Newfoundland.

00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,683

Life just hasn't been the same

since he made sodomy illegal.

00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:34,851

Well, come with us!

00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,354

Maybe you can ask to him

to take his sodomy ban away.

00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,064

Can we just get going, please?

00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,815

Yeah. Sure.

Except there's just one problem.

00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:41,733

What?

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,652

You folks is going

the wrong way.

00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,321

What?! But I thought there

was only one road in Canada!

00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,365

Yeah, and you all went

the wrong direction on it.

00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,034

Oh, that's right!

Ottawa is that way.

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,120

Of course.

Ottawa left, Newfoundland right.

00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,455

Oh, no!

00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,290

How could you be so stupid?!

00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,959

There's no way

we can go all the way back!

00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,460

We'll never make it now!

00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:01,586

It's okay, boys.

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,880

The power is inside us

to get to Ottawa.

00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,590

We can wish ourselves there.

00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,801

Oh, yes.

Let's wish ourselves there.

00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,011

[ Harp plays ]

00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,974

[ Choir vocalizing ]

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,185

Is it working?

- Oh, God damn it!

00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,186

Well, I warned you, Kyle.

00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,437

I told you if I missed

Ch ristmas,

00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:20,522

we were gonna throw down.

00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:21,523

Well, it's on.

00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,692

We're gonna have it out

right now!

00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,277

Of course, we could always

take my boat, eh?

00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:29,781

Oh, yes! On the river, we could

travel to Ottawa in no time!

00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,533

Well, come on!

00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:36,162

Okay. Next stop --

the new prime minister.

00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,081

Do you think

we can still make it in time?

00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,501

We better, Kyle.

Or you're dead.

00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,800

Here we are

at the Parliament building.

00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,760

The prime minister is inside.

00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,221

Well, come on. Let's hurry!

It's almost Christmas!

00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,601

Yes?

00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,395

We need to see

the new prime minister.

00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,771

Ha!

Impossible!

00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:04,524

The new prime minister

is not seeing anybody.

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,443

Oh, well.

So much for that.

00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:07,444

We gave it our best,

00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,612

but I guess our best

wasn't good enough, eh?

00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:10,697

No.

00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,198

No!

00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,616

Yes?

00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,869

Please, sir! I've traveled

a long way to get here.

00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,454

He's the only person

who can help me.

00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,289

The prime minister isn't here.

00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,249

He's in China

on official business.

00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,252

So you might as well go home.

Goodbye!

00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,212

Then that's it.

00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,798

I-I'm never going to get

my brother back.

00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:32,635

And...I'm not going to get

any Christmas presents.

00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,180

And I'm not gonna have

a Christmas adventure.

00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,515

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,642

[All crying ]

00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,145

[ Sobs ]

00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,856

Oh, please!

Please stop crying!

00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,233

[ Crying ]

I'm gonna kill you, Kyle.

00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,194

All right. All right.

I was lying!

00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:50,695

The prime minister is here.

00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,364

Really?!

- Yes. Yes. Come in!

00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,700

[ Fanfare plays ]

00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,707

I am the prime minister

of Canada!

00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,626

What do you guys want?

00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,254

Sir, you recently passed

a new law

00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,423

allowing parents who had given

their children up for adoption

00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,800

to change their minds.

00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,010

My little brother --

- SCOTT: Not so fast!

00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,721

Ike!

- Kyle!

00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,140

Prime Minister, these are

the child's Canadian parents.

00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,476

Their Canadian blood

pumps through his veins.

00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,687

Would you send him to America

with those war-hungry scum?

00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897

Please, sir.

00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,274

I came because I don't think

Ike belongs here.

00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,401

Family isn't about whose blood

you have in you.

00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,237

Family is about the people

who cared about you

00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,571

and took care of you.

00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,366

We're not the same blood,

but I love my little brother.

00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,743

We've taken care of him

because he needed us to.

00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,413

And that makes us more family

than anything.

00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,959

That was a great speech, guy.

00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,086

But the answer is no!

00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,923

All of my new laws

will stay in effect forever!

00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,758

Ha ha!

You lose, Americans!

00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,761

Then I suppose us Mounties

will never get our horses.

00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,638

And we won't get our wine.

00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,515

And we can't perform sodomy, eh?

00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,767

But why are you making

such strange laws?

00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,811

I said go!

00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,649

Oh, my God!

They killed Kenny!

00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,693

You...bastards.

00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,611

What -- What the hell

is wrong with you?

00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,281

What kind of prime minister

bases his decisions on hatred

00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,367

and takes away Mounties' horses

and French people's wine?

00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,578

What the hell kind of

prime minister are you, anyway?

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,455

I am the prime minister

of Canada!

00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,000

I can do whatever I...

00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:28,751

Uh-oh.

00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:31,045

Uh, don't mind that guy hiding

in the spider hole.

00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,046

He's just my friend.

00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,423

What the hell?

00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,300

Hey, that looks like

Saddam Hussein!

00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,011

Saddam Hussein?

No! Relax, buddy.

00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,304

I'm not him.

00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,638

That explains everything.

00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,473

The new prime minister

was Saddam Hussein,

00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,601

once again trying to take over

our beloved Canada

00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,768

like he did before.

00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,020

Saddam Hussein?

00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,354

He was fooling us?

00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:49,397

Get him!

00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,192

Uh, don't shoot!

I want to negotiate!

00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,359

Hey!

Relax!

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:54,485

Aah!

00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,486

Wait a minute!

00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,280

This means all

the prime minister's new laws

00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,656

are null and void.

00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,200

We can have our horses back!

00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,826

And we can drink our wine!

00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,870

And I can sodomize me boys

again.

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,247

Young man,

you must really care for Peter

00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,957

to have come all this way.

00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,210

Perhaps we were wrong

to try and take Peter back.

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,213

He doesn't belong here.

He belongs with his family.

00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:17,383

Peter, would you like to go

back to your home in Colorado?

00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,261

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,224

[ Beeping ]

00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,350

What is that?

00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:28,353

It's Christmas.

We officially missed it.

00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:31,606

It's Christmas Day,

and...I'm in Canada.

00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,566

Well, yeah.

But I got my brother back.

00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,861

Yeah, you got your brother back,

but I didn't get any presents!

00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,529

And what did I tell you, Kyle?!

00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,531

I told you if we didn't make it

back in time for Christmas,

00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:41,866

I was gonna whoop your ass,

didn't I?!

00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:42,700

Dude, come on.

00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,327

Now you're gonna get it,

motherfucker.

00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:47,330

That's right. You and me,

right now, we're having it out!

00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,749

Let's go! Come on!

Come on!

00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,920

[ Wailing ]

00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,220

Mo-o-m!

00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,681

Mo-o-o-o-m!

00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:05,765

Hey, come on, boys!

00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,394

You can spend Christmas

with us -- Canada style!

00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:12,146

[ Crowd cheering ]

00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,315

♪ Ding, dong,

they caught Saddam ♪

00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,984

♪ Merry Christmas to the world ♪

00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,903

♪ Ding, dong,

the Americans caught Saddam ♪

00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,240

♪ Now Canada is free

for you and you and me ♪

00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,285

♪ It's the best Christmas

present we ever got ♪

00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,078

♪ Canadian Christmas --

It's the best ♪

00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,830

♪ We drink and dance

and show our breasts ♪

00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,747

♪ And celebrate ♪

00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:32,375

♪ Saddam Hussein's been caught ♪

00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:33,751

Oh, well.

00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:36,796

Maybe we'll get to have

a Christmas adventure next year.