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Butt Out
Сезон: 07Серия: 13
Описание
Друзья начинают курить. В город приезжает Роб Райнер, чтобы остановить распространение курения среди детей.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,346 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,098 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,894 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,776 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,946 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,200 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,623 M'kay, kids. Can I have it quiet, please?
- 00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:41,417 M'kay.
- 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,128 M'kay. Quiet now. The assembly is about to start.
- 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,755 M'kay.
- 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,841 Uh, quiet, m-m'kay.
- 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,513 Okay.
- 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,683 Uh, now, kids, we have a really fun motivational group today
- 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:58,851 who are gonna talk to you
- 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,437 about the dangers of smoking, m'kay.
- 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,899 So please give a very big South Park Cows welcome to...
- 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,400 Butt Out!
- 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,738 Whoo-hoo! - All right!
- 00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,323 Get those hands up!
- 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,116 Get those hands up! - Come on!
- 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:14,867 Clap!
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,660 ♪ Butt out, yeah, yeah ♪
- 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:18,954 ♪ Give that cigarette butt a throw ♪
- 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,956 ♪ Butt out, uh-huh ♪
- 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,666 ♪ Smoking's got to go ♪
- 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,586 Oh, no.
- 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:26,712 Yeah! - All right! Whoo!
- 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,547 Hey, students! How are we all feeling today?
- 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,673 Whoo!
- 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,551 Hey, did you guys know that each year
- 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:36,514 over 600,000 people a year die from smoking...a year?
- 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,890 600,000?
- 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,309 Are you sure you're not just blowing smoke?
- 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,188 Blow smoke? Us? No way!
- 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,523 Because we don't need to smoke --
- 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:46,982 and neither do you, right, kids?
- 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,234 Butt out!
- 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,985 Break it down!
- 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,988 ♪ Butt out, yeah, yeah ♪
- 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,407 ♪ It's cool to say no ♪
- 00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,284 ♪ Butt out, uh-huh ♪
- 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,120 ♪ Smoking's got to go ♪
- 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,082 ♪ Smokin', no ♪
- 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,167 ♪ No smokin' ♪
- 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,293 Freestyle!
- 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,837 Vernon!
- 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,922 ♪ Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick tick ♪
- 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,507 ♪ Don't smoke, don't ever smoke ♪
- 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,925 Kyle! - Kyle!
- 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,219 ♪ B to the U to the T to the T to the... ♪
- 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,971 Dude, this is unbearable.
- 00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,514 I'm going to kill myself.
- 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,599 ♪...R to the E to the T to the T to the E ♪
- 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:21,517 ♪ Butt out, cigarette! ♪
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,268 - Randy! - Randy!
- 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:23,644 ♪ Smoke, you know, has got to go ♪
- 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,312 ♪ You go -- you got to know to say the no... ♪
- 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,357 Pam!
- 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,196 Do-o-o-n't smo-o-o-ke!
- 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,990 Whoo-hoo! - All right!
- 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,784 You guys, Kenny's eating his own hand.
- 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,578 Hey, what's the big deal?
- 00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:43,080 I like smoking, and it makes me cool.
- 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,081 Oh, really?
- 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,125 Do you think lung cancer is cool, too?
- 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,127 What about emphysema? Is that cool?
- 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,087 And what about abortion and AIDS?
- 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,214 Pfft. That's nones the cool. - Word.
- 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,924 Yeah, so butt out.
- 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,718 ♪ Butt out, yeah, yeah ♪
- 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,803 ♪ Give that cigarette butt a throw... ♪
- 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,930 Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,140 ♪ Smoking's got to go ♪
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,933 Remember, kids, if you smoke,
- 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,560 you could grow up to be a failure.
- 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,021 Worse yet, you could grow up to be dead!
- 00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:09,773 So don't believe what those evil tobacco companies tell you.
- 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,651 Yeah, because if you don't smoke, you can grow up to be...
- 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,446 Just like us!
- 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,994 Here. Give me another one.
- 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,621 Oh, dude, this is really hard.
- 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,957 Oh, shit. Here comes Mr. Mackey!
- 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,000 Throw 'em away!
- 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,920 Dude, here he co--
- 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,296 Got to stop coughing.
- 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,179 Boys, what are you doing back here?
- 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,642 I asked you a question.
- 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,810 What are you doing back here, m'kay?
- 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,730 Nubbi'.
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,522 What?
- 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:54,109 Nubbi' -- Nu-- Nubb--
- 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,238 Aah! Sick!
- 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,239 Gross, dude!
- 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,950 Well, hey, if I didn't know any better,
- 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,993 I'd think you boys had been smoking!
- 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,329 No. No, Mr. Mackey.
- 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,914 We don't have any cigarettes.
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,123 Well, you'd better not.
- 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,542 Because let me tell you something about smoking.
- 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,629 Uh, smoking's bad, m'kay.
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:17,258 And, uh, if you start smoking at an early age, m'kay,
- 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:18,634 I-it's gonna be bad.
- 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,843 M'kay?
- 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,763 Because, uh, smoking can lead to all kinds of health problems,
- 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:23,973 like cancer.
- 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,600 M'kay, and let me tell you something about cancer, m'kay.
- 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,436 Uh, cancer's bad. M'kay?
- 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,439 And, uh -- What -- What the...
- 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,025 Holy shit, m'kay!
- 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,323 Aah! Jesus Christ!
- 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:46,829 Whoops.
- 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,958 Well, you boys have certainly done it this time!
- 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,876 We're sorry.
- 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,378 Not as sorry as you're going to be
- 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,463 when your parents get here -- Ah. Here they come now.
- 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,881 Oh, God.
- 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,136 Come on in.
- 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,806 Stanley, what did you do this time?
- 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,641 You'd better brace yourselves, parents.
- 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,269 The boys were caught...smoking.
- 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,229 Smoking?!
- 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,689 No. It can't be.
- 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,733 My son is not a filthy smoker.
- 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,110 Mom...Dad, it was just --
- 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,737 I don't have a son!
- 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,114 Eric! You've done a lot of horrible things in your life.
- 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,365 But smoking?
- 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,159 You're grounded for three weeks.
- 00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,453 Three weeks? Are you fucking kidding me?
- 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,789 Haven't you boys heard anything about how harmful smoking is
- 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,915 to you and those around you?
- 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:32,958 Of course they haven't,
- 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,419 because the tobacco companies have gotten to them first.
- 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,296 This is really their fault.
- 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,506 Yeah! This is really their fault.
- 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,259 No matter how much money the antismoking groups spend,
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,845 the tobacco companies are there to fill our children's heads
- 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,765 with lies and propaganda that make them want to smoke.
- 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,099 Yeah, huh?
- 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,352 It's like the tobacco companies have control of my mind.
- 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,437 No. Must fight it.
- 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,398 Tobacco companies making me want to smoke.
- 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,233 Oh, my goodness. I had no idea.
- 00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,818 Are you okay, sweetie?
- 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,653 Well, those Goddamn tobacco companies
- 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,614 aren't gonna have control over <i>my</i> kid!
- 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,324 I say we bring them down!
- 00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,950 We need the help of the greatest
- 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:10,996 antismoking celebrity that ever lived -- Rob Reiner.
- 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,665 Who's Rob Reiner?
- 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,128 I don't understand it.
- 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,923 I pushed a law for higher taxes on cigarettes.
- 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,883 I lobbied to get images of cigarettes
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,343 removed from movies and art.
- 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,887 I forced smokers out of bars and parks.
- 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,847 But still I get letters from parents
- 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,766 saying their kids are doing it.
- 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,604 Apparently, people still don't understand
- 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,189 how bad smoking is for them.
- 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,650 Don't they know how dangerous it is to their health?
- 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,319 Don't they know the hazard of secondhand smoke?
- 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,737 According to the letter, sir,
- 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,407 the town has a tobacco company quite near them.
- 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:47,866 Yeah. That must be it.
- 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,244 The tobacco companies, with their millions of dollars
- 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,663 and their slick desks and fancy buildings --
- 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:55,040 They're the ones making children want to smoke.
- 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,836 They're the ones hurting our nation's health.
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:01,630 I will not stand by and see the children of America
- 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,507 corrupted by those bastards!
- 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,467 This is war!
- 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,932 You guys, maybe we should come clean right now
- 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,600 and tell everyone it <i>wasn't</i> the tobacco companies
- 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:14,601 that made us want to smoke.
- 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:15,853 What? - Why? It's perfect.
- 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,438 If everyone's blaming the tobacco companies,
- 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,564 then nobody's blaming us.
- 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,606 Yeah. What's the problem?
- 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,276 It's just that this seems like another one of those times
- 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,194 when things are gonna get way out of hand.
- 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,988 It's been happening a lot lately.
- 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,365 How about this time we just put a stop to it right now?
- 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,784 You don't want to be grounded for three weeks, do you?
- 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:31,827 Yeah. Don't worry, dude.
- 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,245 Things aren't gonna get out of hand.
- 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,247 Here he comes!
- 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:49,219 Damn it.
- 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,888 Butter!
- 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,055 Butter!
- 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,348 What'd he say?
- 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,225 Butter!
- 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,830 Hello, South Park!
- 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:23,253 It is so nice to see an entire town come together
- 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,339 to fight for good health.
- 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,466 And I'm gonna help you!
- 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,802 These poor, innocent children
- 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,347 have been seduced into smoking tobacco.
- 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:36,683 So I say we fight fire with fire!
- 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,435 We're gonna use these children
- 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,854 to bring the tobacco company down!
- 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,568 Oh, no.
- 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,366 All right, kids.
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,492 Here's what we're gonna do.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,536 We're gonna sneak you into the tobacco company
- 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,914 by saying you kids want a tour for a school paper.
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,958 Once you're inside, I'm gonna --
- 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,002 I'm gonna take photos, and then we'll publish them,
- 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,713 saying that the tobacco company invited you over
- 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,340 to seduce you into smoking.
- 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,050 Got it? - Got it!
- 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,011 But...isn't that kind of lying?
- 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,931 We're just leveling out the playing field.
- 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,059 The tobacco companies lie to you about the dangers of smoking.
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,521 If we're gonna take them down, we've got to lie right back.
- 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,989 Oh my God!
- 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,163 Excuse me!
- 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,748 Yes?
- 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,459 Would you mind putting that death stick out?
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,295 But, uh, this is a bar.
- 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,589 Isn't smoking illegal in bars here?
- 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,132 Not in Colorado.
- 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,091 Oh, my God!
- 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,594 What kind of backward hick state is this?
- 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,305 Look, man, I work 14 hours a day at the sawmill.
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,515 I just got off work, and I need to relax.
- 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,935 Well, when I relax, I just go to my vacation house in Hawaii.
- 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,354 I ain't got a vacation house in Hawaii.
- 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,774 Y-Your vacation house in Mexico, then -- whatever it is!
- 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:11,653 Look, you are putting my life and these boys' lives in danger
- 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,988 by smoking that in here.
- 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,157 And I am not gonna tolerate it!
- 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,951 I will end smoking in bars in Colorado.
- 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,829 There will be no more smoking!
- 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,123 Isn't he awesome, you guys? - What?
- 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,459 Dude, he just goes around imposing his will on people.
- 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,877 He's my idol.
- 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,006 All right, boys.
- 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,382 Just do what I tell you,
- 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,927 and we'll be able to sue this tobacco company for $2 billion.
- 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,221 As soon as we get into the main facility,
- 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:41,099 I'll snap the photo of you kids, and we can all run out.
- 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,268 Think you can handle it? - Handle it?
- 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:46,021 For $2 billion, I'd handle my grandpa's balls, sir.
- 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,356 All right. Great.
- 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,358 Okay. Now watch yourselves, kids.
- 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,902 These tobacco-company people will do anything
- 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,487 to get you hooked on smoking.
- 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,323 They are liars, and they are frauds.
- 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,450 Can I help you?
- 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,536 Yes. My name is Rita Poon.
- 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:04,247 I called about my boys wanting a tour.
- 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,624 Ah, yes, Mrs. Poon.
- 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:06,750 My name's Kevin Harris,
- 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,835 and I'm the vice president of Big Tobacco.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,254 Well, hello, Mr. Harris.
- 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:12,673 Well, come on in.
- 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,675 How about a little history first?
- 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,803 Native Americans were the first to cultivate the tobacco plant.
- 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,054 They smoked it in pipes
- 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,223 for medicinal and ceremonial purposes.
- 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,725 Not if I were around, they wouldn't have.
- 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,601 Excuse me?
- 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,478 Oh, nothing! Please continue.
- 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,230 The first successful commercial crop of tobacco
- 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,565 was cultivated in Virginia in 1612.
- 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,566 Within seven years,
- 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,694 it was one of the country's largest exports.
- 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,821 So tobacco helped to build America.
- 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:36,863 That's right.
- 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,281 Over the next few centuries,
- 00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:39,950 the tobacco business was so great
- 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,284 that many slaves were brought from Africa
- 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,703 to help work the fields.
- 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,705 Which means if it weren't for tobacco,
- 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,082 many of our black friends wouldn't be here today.
- 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,168 And so for centuries, tobacco production flourished.
- 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,504 Nobody was even aware of any dangers back then,
- 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,757 until, in 1965, when Congress passed an act
- 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,092 forcing all tobacco companies
- 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,469 to put the Surgeon General's warning on their packages.
- 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,972 So now everyone knows the dangers of smoking,
- 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,807 and some people still choose to do it,
- 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,768 and we believe that's what being an American is all about.
- 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,603 That sounds perfectly reasonable.
- 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,480 And here's our factory at work.
- 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:15,944 ♪ With a hide-e-lie-dee-lie-dee and a hide-e-lie-dee-lay ♪
- 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,780 ♪ We work and we make cigarettes all hide-e-lie-dee day ♪
- 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,948 ♪ So folks can get a break-ee ♪
- 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,408 ♪ From their stressful lie-dee lives ♪
- 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,951 ♪ And relax-ee with the cigarettes ♪
- 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,995 ♪ We make all day and night ♪
- 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,748 ♪ I like to have a cigarette every now and then ♪
- 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,542 ♪ It makes me feel calmer when the day is at an end ♪
- 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,295 ♪ And if it gives me cancer when I'm 80, I don't care ♪
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,214 ♪ Who the hell wants to be 90 anyway? ♪
- 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,716 ♪ So with a hide-e-lie-dee-lie-dee ♪
- 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,301 ♪ And a hide-e-lie-dee-lay ♪
- 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,179 ♪ We work and we make cigarettes all hide-e-lie-dee day ♪
- 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,305 ♪ So folks can get a break-ee ♪
- 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,681 ♪ From their stressful lie-dee lives ♪
- 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,308 ♪ And relax-ee with the cigarettes ♪
- 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,518 ♪ We make all day and night ♪
- 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,645 Well, I guess that's the end of our tour.
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,523 Oh. Here, boys. Let me get your picture.
- 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,276 Got it! Ha!
- 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,361 You bastards are going down now!
- 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,405 What? - I'm not Rita Poon.
- 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,617 I'm Rob Reiner! And you've just been Reinered!
- 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,952 Come on, boys! Let's make our escape!
- 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,871 Don't you try and stop us!
- 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:08,997 Oh!
- 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,212 Oh, my God!
- 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,923 Oh, boy. That was great, kids.
- 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,634 Those people at the tobacco company all seem really nice.
- 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,553 Yeah. You see that? They got into your head.
- 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,014 Now you kids can meet some good, decent people --
- 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,017 the folks who work to get smoking banned.
- 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,443 This is how we get rid of smokers.
- 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,072 We go state to state and do things like use bogus studies
- 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:46,034 and make expensive commercials to get the public on our side
- 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,079 and force cigarette smokers to stop.
- 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,205 Wow. It's like --
- 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,791 It's like smoking brings a lot of people just a little of joy,
- 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,835 and you get to take that away from them.
- 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,253 You are so awesome.
- 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,462 Here you go, Bob.
- 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,882 This is Mr. Valkri. He does all our Photoshop work.
- 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:04,094 Now all we have to do is photoshop cigarettes
- 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,554 into your hands -- and bingo!
- 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,390 When this hits the papers, the tobacco company is screwed!
- 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,436 But, dude, you're making stuff up.
- 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,689 You kids need to understand something, okay?
- 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,732 Sometimes lying is okay,
- 00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:21,653 like when you know what's good for people more than they do.
- 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,364 Oh, my God. That is exactly what <i>I've</i> always said.
- 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,824 I love this guy.
- 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,701 Mr. Reiner, your bill to have smoking
- 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,578 outlawed in bars here didn't pass.
- 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:30,579 What?!
- 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,580 God damn it!
- 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,665 What the hell is wrong with people in this state?
- 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,542 Apparently, several people here still believe
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,711 there's no proof secondhand smoke can kill you.
- 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,629 They want proof?
- 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,715 All right. We'll give them proof!
- 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,718 Boys, I need one of you to act in a commercial for us.
- 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,386 We'll shoot it tomorrow.
- 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,888 Wow! A commercial?
- 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:51,099 You boys decide which one of you would be best for the part.
- 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,100 All right, people!
- 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,270 We got to get moving on the bill to ban smoking in parks here!
- 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,438 Let's go!
- 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,106 God. He's just the best!
- 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,983 Mr. Reiner, can I get you a muffin?
- 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,359 Or -- Or a cold drink perhaps?
- 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,987 You guys, I think we should bail out of this right now.
- 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:04,821 Huh?
- 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,156 I just know where this is heading.
- 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,283 It's gonna end up with the whole town taking this too far
- 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,285 and us having to talk about what we learned
- 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,578 to change everyone's minds.
- 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,331 I say we just stop it right now and go play cards or something.
- 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,457 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,583 Yeah. Maybe you're right.
- 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,336 So, gentlemen, looks like only one of us
- 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,879 gets to be in the commercial, huh?
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,088 Who will it be?
- 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,049 Gentlemen, the game is on.
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468 Go ahead. We don't want to be in their stupid commercial.
- 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,511 Huh? Oh, I get it, Kyle.
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,138 That's your Serbian-Jew double bluff --
- 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,182 make me think you don't care about being in the commercial
- 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,475 so maybe I won't either.
- 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,935 Oops. Didn't work, did it, Kyle?
- 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,187 No, we really want nothing more to do with these people.
- 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,272 Sure you don't, Kyle. Oh, and neither do I.
- 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,815 I know what you're gonna say next.
- 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,859 "How about none of us show up tomorrow to do it?"
- 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,778 And I'm supposed to agree so that tomorrow
- 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,988 you can waltz in all by yourself and do the commercial.
- 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,200 That's Serbian-Jew double bluff, and it ain't gonna work on me.
- 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,493 Heh heh heh.
- 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,078 Only one of us can be in the commercial, gentlemen.
- 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,289 The game...is on.
- 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,179 Sorry, Kyle, but I'm afraid only one of us
- 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,556 will be showing up to do the commercial tomorrow!
- 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:16,142 Thought you had me with your Serbian-Jew double bluff.
- 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,019 Well, let's see you try to open this door now.
- 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,482 What are you doing?
- 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,611 Oh. Hello, Kyle.
- 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,490 Oh -- Oh, man. Wait. This isn't my house.
- 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,492 Cartman, you go ahead and do the commercial tomorrow.
- 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,493 But I'm warning you --
- 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,578 Those antismoking people are liars and they're bullies
- 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,455 who will stop at nothing to get what they want,
- 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,165 and that means they're dangerous.
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,548 Nice try, Kyle!
- 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,383 Let's see you try to get through this door now.
- 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,723 Okay, Eric. This is gonna be real simple.
- 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,433 All you got to do is just read the words
- 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,018 on the Teleprompter here.
- 00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,269 Okay.
- 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,646 Let's see how the tobacco companies deal with this.
- 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,482 All right. Roll camera. Roll the Teleprompter.
- 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,192 And whenever you're ready, Eric.
- 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,569 Okay. Okay.
- 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,824 You know, some people say there's no proof
- 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,325 that secondhand smoke kills.
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,119 The tobacco companies say there's no proof
- 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,871 that secondhand smoke kills.
- 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,665 I've just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
- 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,917 I guess...I'm the proof.
- 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,419 The next time you want to believe
- 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,630 that secondhand smoke doesn't kill, think about me.
- 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:32,218 Because by the time you see this commercial, I'll be dead.
- 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,554 Dead?
- 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,681 And cut! Great! We got it.
- 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,017 Wrap out, people. That was fantastic.
- 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,269 Uh, what -- what does that mean, "I'll be dead"?
- 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,397 Hey, uh, what -- what was that "dead" part?
- 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,899 That was very good, Eric.
- 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,777 Here. Eat this cupcake.
- 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,488 Uh, no, thanks. I'm not hungry.
- 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:52,572 But you are.
- 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,574 Just eat this one cupcake.
- 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,535 It has sprinkles.
- 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,038 I'm not eating the cupcake.
- 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,582 Eric, do you know what a hero is?
- 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,251 A hero is somebody who sacrifices himself
- 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,795 for the good of others.
- 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,379 You can be a hero, Eric.
- 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:12,342 All you have to do is eat the cupcake.
- 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,220 Jesus Christ!
- 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,638 Aah! - Hey!
- 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,566 What are you doing, Cartman?
- 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,985 They're going to kill me!
- 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,195 Who's going to kill you?
- 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,530 The antismoking people!
- 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,198 They had me say I died from secondhand smoke,
- 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,492 and now they want to sacrifice me to make it look real!
- 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,743 They'll stop at nothing!
- 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,078 Well, get away from us, then.
- 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,038 Yeah, dude. Don't get us killed, too.
- 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,249 You guys have to help me! - No, dude! Get away!
- 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:45,917 Please, you guys! I don't know what to do!
- 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,502 Stop it, Cartman. Go die on your own.
- 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,003 If I go, you guys go!
- 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,046 Dad!
- 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,047 What?
- 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,924 The antismoking people are trying to kill Cartman,
- 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,217 and he won't stay away from us.
- 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,094 Don't be ridiculous, boys.
- 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,429 The antismoking people are kind, caring, and intelligent.
- 00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,764 Your heads have just been corrupted
- 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,308 by the lies of the big tobacco companies.
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,227 Hey! Maybe that's it, you guys.
- 00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,937 Maybe the tobacco company can help us.
- 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,231 Help <i>you,</i>fat-ass. We weren't in the commercial, remember?
- 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,941 Yeah. Go to the tobacco company yourself.
- 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,901 That's fine! I thought you guys were my friends!
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,444 But I guess I was wrong.
- 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,238 Yeah, dude. You were totally wrong.
- 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,156 Mrph rm.
- 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,032 You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off now!
- 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,742 Now, come on. We're going to the tobacco company!
- 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,119 Oh, all right. - No!
- 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,496 What we really should do is go to our parents right now
- 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,832 and take responsibility for smoking ourselves,
- 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,125 even if it means getting grounded.
- 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:27,959 Why?
- 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,544 Because if we go to the tobacco company,
- 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,004 I know exactly what'll happen.
- 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,089 They'll take us in, and then Rob Reiner will show up
- 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,091 with all the townspeople holding torches or something,
- 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,926 and there'll be a big showdown until we talk about
- 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,803 what we learned and change everyone's minds.
- 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,680 This is all following a formula!
- 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,684 So it's either deal with that or be grounded for three weeks.
- 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,482 God damn it.
- 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,151 Give us the child!
- 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,360 We will not!
- 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,486 There! You see that?
- 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,822 The tobacco company won't give us the kid!
- 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,115 And do you know why?
- 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,118 Because they know that if they give us that kid,
- 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,453 then we'll kill him --
- 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,163 and when our commercial goes on the air,
- 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,165 it will lose them business!
- 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,712 W-Wait a minute. What?
- 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,423 Yeah, when we kill the kid, people are gonna think
- 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,966 it's because of secondhand smoke.
- 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:19,093 And then these bastards aren't gonna make money,
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,678 and they know it!
- 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,097 W-What the hell is wrong with you?
- 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,432 That's not right.
- 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,310 Oh, God damn it. Do I have to explain this again?
- 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,354 Smoking is bad, people!
- 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,982 So if we have to be a little extreme to stop it, it's okay!
- 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,734 No, it isn't, you fat turd!
- 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,819 Because...I've learned something today.
- 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,071 You just hate --
- 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,697 - See? I knew it. - Yep.
- 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,242 You just hate smoking, so you use all your money and power
- 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,826 to force others to think like you.
- 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,828 And that's called fascism, you tubby asshole.
- 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,873 God damn it! There will be no more smoking!
- 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,959 It wasn't the tobacco company's fault that we smoked.
- 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,210 It was our fault -- us.
- 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,003 We should all take personal responsibility
- 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,673 instead of letting fat fascists like him tell us what to do.
- 00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,509 You're right, boys, m'kay.
- 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:01,511 Yeah! Let smokers smoke!
- 00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,554 Yeah! - That's right!
- 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,683 Hey, Mr. Reiner, why don't you "butt out"?
- 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:11,646 I'm warning you -- Don't mess with antismoking groups.
- 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,190 I don't idolize you anymore, asshole!
- 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,988 My goo! My precious goo!
- 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:26,035 So, Kyle, it wasn't the tobacco company
- 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,287 that made you want to smoke?
- 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,204 No.
- 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,081 Well, then you are grounded, mister!
- 00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,291 You too, Eric.
- 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,251 Aw! Aww!
- 00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,169 Well, I guess we learned our lesson.
- 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,714 No, we didn't, dude. No, we didn't.
- 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,884 ♪ With a hide-e-lie-dee-lie-dee and a hide-e-lie-dee-lay ♪
- 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,721 ♪ We work and we make cigarettes all hide-e-lie-dee day ♪
- 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:45,888 ♪ So folks can get a break-ee ♪
- 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,348 ♪ From their stressful lie-dee lives ♪
- 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,891 ♪ And relax-ee with the cigarettes ♪
- 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,935 ♪ We make all day and night ♪
- 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,022 ♪ I like to have a cigarette every now and then ♪
- 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,607 ♪ It makes me feel calmer when the day is at an end ♪
- 00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,527 ♪ And if it gives me cancer when I'm 80, I don't care ♪
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,346 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,098 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,894 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,776 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,946 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:33,200 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,623 M'kay, kids. Can I have it quiet, please?
- 00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:41,417 M'kay.
- 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,128 M'kay. Quiet now. The assembly is about to start.
- 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,755 M'kay. - [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,841 Uh, quiet, m-m'kay.
- 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,634 [ Feedback blares ]
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,928 [All screaming ]
- 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,513 Okay.
- 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,683 Uh, now, kids, we have a really fun motivational group today
- 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:58,851 who are gonna talk to you
- 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,437 about the dangers of smoking, m'kay.
- 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,899 So please give a very big South Park Cows welcome to...
- 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,400 Butt Out!
- 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,195 [ Slow introduction, up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,738 Whoo-hoo! - All right!
- 00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,323 Get those hands up!
- 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,116 Get those hands up! - Come on!
- 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:14,867 Clap!
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,660 ♪ Butt out, yeah, yeah ♪
- 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:18,954 ♪ Give that cigarette butt a throw ♪
- 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,956 ♪ Butt out, uh-huh ♪
- 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,666 ♪ Smoking's got to go ♪
- 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:24,001 [ Music ends ]
- 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,586 Oh, no.
- 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:26,712 Yeah! - All right! Whoo!
- 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,547 Hey, students! How are we all feeling today?
- 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,673 Whoo!
- 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,551 Hey, did you guys know that each year
- 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:36,514 over 600,000 people a year die from smoking...a year?
- 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,890 600,000?
- 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,309 Are you sure you're not just blowing smoke?
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,811 [ Laughter ]
- 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,188 Blow smoke? Us? No way!
- 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,523 Because we don't need to smoke --
- 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:46,982 and neither do you, right, kids?
- 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,234 Butt out!
- 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,985 Break it down! - [ Up-tempo hip-hop plays ]
- 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,112 [ Beat-boxing ]
- 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,988 [ Rapping ] ♪ Butt out, yeah, yeah ♪
- 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,407 ♪ It's cool to say no ♪
- 00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,284 ♪ Butt out, uh-huh ♪
- 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,120 ♪ Smoking's got to go ♪
- 00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:01,747 [ Beat-boxing ]
- 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,082 ♪ Smokin', no ♪
- 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,167 ♪ No smokin' ♪
- 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,293 Freestyle!
- 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,837 Vernon!
- 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,922 ♪ Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick tick ♪
- 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,507 ♪ Don't smoke, don't ever smoke ♪
- 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,925 Kyle! - Kyle!
- 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,219 ♪ B to the U to the T to the T to the... ♪
- 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,971 Dude, this is unbearable.
- 00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,514 I'm going to kill myself.
- 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,599 ♪...R to the E to the T to the T to the E ♪
- 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:21,517 ♪ Butt out, cigarette! ♪
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,268 - Randy! - Randy!
- 00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:23,644 ♪ Smoke, you know, has got to go ♪
- 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,312 ♪ You go -- you got to know to say the no... ♪
- 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,231 [ Groans ]
- 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,357 [ Beat-boxing ] Pam!
- 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,609 [ Imitates creaking, air hissing ]
- 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,196 [ High-pitched ] Do-o-o-n't smo-o-o-ke!
- 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,990 Whoo-hoo! - All right!
- 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,784 You guys, Kenny's eating his own hand.
- 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,578 Hey, what's the big deal?
- 00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:43,080 I like smoking, and it makes me cool.
- 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,081 Oh, really?
- 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,125 Do you think lung cancer is cool, too?
- 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,127 What about emphysema? Is that cool?
- 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,087 And what about abortion and AIDS?
- 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,214 Pfft. That's nones the cool. - Word.
- 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,924 Yeah, so butt out.
- 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,718 ♪ Butt out, yeah, yeah ♪
- 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,803 ♪ Give that cigarette butt a throw... ♪
- 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,930 Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,140 ♪ Smoking's got to go ♪
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,933 Remember, kids, if you smoke,
- 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,560 you could grow up to be a failure.
- 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,021 Worse yet, you could grow up to be dead!
- 00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:09,773 So don't believe what those evil tobacco companies tell you.
- 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,651 Yeah, because if you don't smoke, you can grow up to be...
- 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,446 [all] Just like us!
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,325 [ Coughing ]
- 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,994 Here. Give me another one. [ Coughs ]
- 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,621 Oh, dude, this is really hard.
- 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:25,080 [ Coughing ]
- 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,957 Oh, shit. Here comes Mr. Mackey!
- 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,000 Throw 'em away!
- 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,460 [ Coughing ]
- 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,920 Dude, here he co-- [ Coughs ]
- 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,296 Got to stop coughing.
- 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,926 [ Stifling coughs ]
- 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,179 Boys, what are you doing back here?
- 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,224 [ Gulps ]
- 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,642 I asked you a question.
- 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,810 What are you doing back here, m'kay?
- 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,730 Nubbi'.
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,522 What?
- 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:54,109 Nubbi' -- Nu-- Nubb--
- 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,238 Aah! Sick!
- 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,239 Gross, dude!
- 00:03:58,364 --> 00:03:59,365 [ Coughing ]
- 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,950 Well, hey, if I didn't know any better,
- 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,993 I'd think you boys had been smoking!
- 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,329 [ Coughing ] No. No, Mr. Mackey.
- 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,914 We don't have any cigarettes.
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,123 Well, you'd better not.
- 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,542 Because let me tell you something about smoking.
- 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,629 Uh, smoking's bad, m'kay.
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:17,258 And, uh, if you start smoking at an early age, m'kay,
- 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:18,634 I-it's gonna be bad.
- 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,843 M'kay?
- 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,763 Because, uh, smoking can lead to all kinds of health problems,
- 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:23,973 like cancer.
- 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,600 M'kay, and let me tell you something about cancer, m'kay.
- 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,436 Uh, cancer's bad. M'kay?
- 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,439 And, uh -- What -- What the...
- 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,025 Holy shit, m'kay!
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,277 [Alarm ringing ]
- 00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,362 [ Screaming ]
- 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,323 Aah! Jesus Christ!
- 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,827 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:46,829 Whoops.
- 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,958 Well, you boys have certainly done it this time!
- 00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:52,876 [ Sing-song ] We're sorry.
- 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,378 Not as sorry as you're going to be
- 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,463 when your parents get here -- Ah. Here they come now.
- 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,881 Oh, God.
- 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,136 [ Knock on door ] Come on in.
- 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,806 Stanley, what did you do this time?
- 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,641 You'd better brace yourselves, parents.
- 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,269 The boys were caught...smoking.
- 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,229 Smoking?!
- 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:13,689 No. It can't be.
- 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,733 My son is not a filthy smoker. [ Sobs ]
- 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,110 Mom...Dad, it was just --
- 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,737 I don't have a son!
- 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,114 Eric! You've done a lot of horrible things in your life.
- 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,365 But smoking?
- 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,159 You're grounded for three weeks.
- 00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,453 Three weeks? Are you fucking kidding me?
- 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,789 Haven't you boys heard anything about how harmful smoking is
- 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,915 to you and those around you?
- 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:32,958 Of course they haven't,
- 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,419 because the tobacco companies have gotten to them first.
- 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,296 This is really their fault.
- 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,506 Yeah! This is really their fault.
- 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,259 No matter how much money the antismoking groups spend,
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,845 the tobacco companies are there to fill our children's heads
- 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,765 with lies and propaganda that make them want to smoke.
- 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,099 Yeah, huh?
- 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,352 It's like the tobacco companies have control of my mind.
- 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,437 [ Straining ] No. Must fight it.
- 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,398 Tobacco companies making me want to smoke. [ Grunts ]
- 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,233 Oh, my goodness. I had no idea.
- 00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,818 Are you okay, sweetie?
- 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,653 Well, those Goddamn tobacco companies
- 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,614 aren't gonna have control over <i>my</i> kid!
- 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,324 I say we bring them down!
- 00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,950 We need the help of the greatest
- 00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:10,996 antismoking celebrity that ever lived -- Rob Reiner.
- 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,665 Who's Rob Reiner?
- 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,128 [ Breathing heavily ] I don't understand it.
- 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,923 I pushed a law for higher taxes on cigarettes.
- 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,883 I lobbied to get images of cigarettes
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,343 removed from movies and art.
- 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,887 I forced smokers out of bars and parks.
- 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,847 But still I get letters from parents
- 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,766 saying their kids are doing it.
- 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,604 Apparently, people still don't understand
- 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,189 how bad smoking is for them.
- 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,650 Don't they know how dangerous it is to their health?
- 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,319 Don't they know the hazard of secondhand smoke?
- 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,737 According to the letter, sir,
- 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:46,407 the town has a tobacco company quite near them.
- 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:47,866 Yeah. That must be it.
- 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,244 The tobacco companies, with their millions of dollars
- 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,663 and their slick desks and fancy buildings --
- 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:55,040 They're the ones making children want to smoke.
- 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,836 They're the ones hurting our nation's health.
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:01,630 I will not stand by and see the children of America
- 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,507 corrupted by those bastards!
- 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,467 This is war!
- 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,971 [ Band playing "The Stars and Stripes Forever" ]
- 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,932 You guys, maybe we should come clean right now
- 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,600 and tell everyone it <i>wasn't</i> the tobacco companies
- 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:14,601 that made us want to smoke.
- 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:15,853 What? - Why? It's perfect.
- 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,438 If everyone's blaming the tobacco companies,
- 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,564 then nobody's blaming us.
- 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,606 Yeah. What's the problem?
- 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,276 It's just that this seems like another one of those times
- 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,194 when things are gonna get way out of hand.
- 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,988 It's been happening a lot lately.
- 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,365 How about this time we just put a stop to it right now?
- 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,784 You don't want to be grounded for three weeks, do you?
- 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:31,827 Yeah. Don't worry, dude.
- 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,245 Things aren't gonna get out of hand.
- 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,247 Here he comes!
- 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,758 [ Straining ]
- 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:49,219 Damn it. [ Grunts ]
- 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,888 Butter!
- 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,055 Butter!
- 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,348 What'd he say?
- 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,225 Butter!
- 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,607 [ Grunts ]
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,569 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,159 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,830 Hello, South Park!
- 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,749 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:23,253 It is so nice to see an entire town come together
- 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,339 to fight for good health.
- 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,466 And I'm gonna help you!
- 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,802 These poor, innocent children
- 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,347 have been seduced into smoking tobacco.
- 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:36,683 So I say we fight fire with fire!
- 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,435 We're gonna use these children
- 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,854 to bring the tobacco company down!
- 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,689 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,568 Oh, no.
- 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,366 [ Breathing heavily ] All right, kids.
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,492 Here's what we're gonna do.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,536 We're gonna sneak you into the tobacco company
- 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,914 by saying you kids want a tour for a school paper.
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,958 Once you're inside, I'm gonna --
- 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,002 I'm gonna take photos, and then we'll publish them,
- 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,713 saying that the tobacco company invited you over
- 00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:08,340 to seduce you into smoking.
- 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,050 Got it? - Got it!
- 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,011 But...isn't that kind of lying?
- 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,931 [ Burps ] We're just leveling out the playing field.
- 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,059 The tobacco companies lie to you about the dangers of smoking.
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,521 If we're gonna take them down, we've got to lie right back.
- 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,606 [ Sniffing ]
- 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,989 Oh my God! [ Coughs ]
- 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,951 [ Coughs loudly ]
- 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,163 Excuse me!
- 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,748 Yes?
- 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,459 Would you mind putting that death stick out?
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,295 But, uh, this is a bar.
- 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,589 Isn't smoking illegal in bars here?
- 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,132 Not in Colorado.
- 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,091 Oh, my God!
- 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,594 What kind of backward hick state is this?
- 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,305 Look, man, I work 14 hours a day at the sawmill.
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,515 I just got off work, and I need to relax.
- 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,935 Well, when I relax, I just go to my vacation house in Hawaii.
- 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,354 I ain't got a vacation house in Hawaii.
- 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,774 Y-Your vacation house in Mexico, then -- whatever it is!
- 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:11,653 Look, you are putting my life and these boys' lives in danger
- 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,988 by smoking that in here.
- 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,157 And I am not gonna tolerate it!
- 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,951 I will end smoking in bars in Colorado.
- 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,829 There will be no more smoking! [ Grunts ]
- 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,123 Isn't he awesome, you guys? - What?
- 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,459 Dude, he just goes around imposing his will on people.
- 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,877 He's my idol.
- 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:29,880 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,006 All right, boys.
- 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,382 Just do what I tell you,
- 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,927 and we'll be able to sue this tobacco company for $2 billion.
- 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,221 As soon as we get into the main facility,
- 00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:41,099 I'll snap the photo of you kids, and we can all run out.
- 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,268 Think you can handle it? - Handle it?
- 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:46,021 For $2 billion, I'd handle my grandpa's balls, sir.
- 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,356 All right. Great.
- 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,358 Okay. Now watch yourselves, kids.
- 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,902 These tobacco-company people will do anything
- 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,487 to get you hooked on smoking.
- 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,323 They are liars, and they are frauds.
- 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,450 [ Door opens, closes ] Can I help you?
- 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,536 [ Breathing heavily ] Yes. My name is Rita Poon.
- 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:04,247 I called about my boys wanting a tour.
- 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,624 Ah, yes, Mrs. Poon.
- 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:06,750 My name's Kevin Harris,
- 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,835 and I'm the vice president of Big Tobacco.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,254 Well, hello, Mr. Harris.
- 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:12,673 Well, come on in.
- 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,675 How about a little history first?
- 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,803 Native Americans were the first to cultivate the tobacco plant.
- 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,054 They smoked it in pipes
- 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,223 for medicinal and ceremonial purposes.
- 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,725 Not if I were around, they wouldn't have.
- 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,601 Excuse me?
- 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,478 Oh, nothing! Please continue.
- 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,230 The first successful commercial crop of tobacco
- 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,565 was cultivated in Virginia in 1612.
- 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,566 Within seven years,
- 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,694 it was one of the country's largest exports.
- 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,821 So tobacco helped to build America.
- 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:36,863 That's right.
- 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,281 Over the next few centuries,
- 00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:39,950 the tobacco business was so great
- 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,284 that many slaves were brought from Africa
- 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,703 to help work the fields.
- 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,705 Which means if it weren't for tobacco,
- 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,082 many of our black friends wouldn't be here today.
- 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,168 And so for centuries, tobacco production flourished.
- 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,504 Nobody was even aware of any dangers back then,
- 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,757 until, in 1965, when Congress passed an act
- 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,092 forcing all tobacco companies
- 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,469 to put the Surgeon General's warning on their packages.
- 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,972 So now everyone knows the dangers of smoking,
- 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,807 and some people still choose to do it,
- 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,768 and we believe that's what being an American is all about.
- 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,603 That sounds perfectly reasonable.
- 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,480 And here's our factory at work.
- 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,733 [ Light music plays ]
- 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:15,944 ♪ With a hide-e-lie-dee-lie-dee and a hide-e-lie-dee-lay ♪
- 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,780 ♪ We work and we make cigarettes all hide-e-lie-dee day ♪
- 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,948 ♪ So folks can get a break-ee ♪
- 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,408 ♪ From their stressful lie-dee lives ♪
- 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:22,951 ♪ And relax-ee with the cigarettes ♪
- 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,995 ♪ We make all day and night ♪
- 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,748 ♪ I like to have a cigarette every now and then ♪
- 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,542 ♪ It makes me feel calmer when the day is at an end ♪
- 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,295 ♪ And if it gives me cancer when I'm 80, I don't care ♪
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,214 ♪ Who the hell wants to be 90 anyway? ♪
- 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,716 ♪ So with a hide-e-lie-dee-lie-dee ♪
- 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,301 ♪ And a hide-e-lie-dee-lay ♪
- 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,179 ♪ We work and we make cigarettes all hide-e-lie-dee day ♪
- 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,305 ♪ So folks can get a break-ee ♪
- 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,681 ♪ From their stressful lie-dee lives ♪
- 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,308 ♪ And relax-ee with the cigarettes ♪
- 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,518 ♪ We make all day and night ♪
- 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,645 Well, I guess that's the end of our tour.
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,523 Oh. Here, boys. Let me get your picture.
- 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,276 Got it! Ha!
- 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,361 You bastards are going down now!
- 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,405 What? - I'm not Rita Poon.
- 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,617 I'm Rob Reiner! And you've just been Reinered!
- 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,952 Come on, boys! Let's make our escape!
- 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,871 Don't you try and stop us!
- 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:08,997 Oh! [ Grunts ]
- 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,792 [ Gasps, screams ]
- 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,585 [ Screaming ]
- 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,212 Oh, my God!
- 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,923 Oh, boy. That was great, kids.
- 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,634 Those people at the tobacco company all seem really nice.
- 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,553 Yeah. You see that? They got into your head.
- 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,014 Now you kids can meet some good, decent people --
- 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,017 the folks who work to get smoking banned.
- 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,977 [ Growling ]
- 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,104 [ Hissing ]
- 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,443 This is how we get rid of smokers.
- 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,072 We go state to state and do things like use bogus studies
- 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:46,034 and make expensive commercials to get the public on our side
- 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:49,079 and force cigarette smokers to stop.
- 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,205 Wow. It's like --
- 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,791 It's like smoking brings a lot of people just a little of joy,
- 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,835 and you get to take that away from them.
- 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,253 You are so awesome.
- 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,462 Here you go, Bob.
- 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,882 This is Mr. Valkri. He does all our Photoshop work.
- 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:04,094 Now all we have to do is photoshop cigarettes
- 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,554 into your hands -- and bingo!
- 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,390 When this hits the papers, the tobacco company is screwed!
- 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,268 [ Both laughing ]
- 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,436 But, dude, you're making stuff up.
- 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,689 You kids need to understand something, okay?
- 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,732 Sometimes lying is okay,
- 00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:21,653 like when you know what's good for people more than they do.
- 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,364 Oh, my God. That is exactly what <i>I've</i> always said.
- 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,824 I love this guy.
- 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,701 Mr. Reiner, your bill to have smoking
- 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,578 outlawed in bars here didn't pass.
- 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:30,579 What?!
- 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,580 God damn it!
- 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,665 What the hell is wrong with people in this state?
- 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,542 Apparently, several people here still believe
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,711 there's no proof secondhand smoke can kill you.
- 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,629 [ Exhales sharply ] They want proof?
- 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,715 All right. We'll give them proof!
- 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,718 Boys, I need one of you to act in a commercial for us.
- 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,386 We'll shoot it tomorrow.
- 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,888 Wow! A commercial?
- 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:51,099 You boys decide which one of you would be best for the part.
- 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,100 All right, people!
- 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,270 We got to get moving on the bill to ban smoking in parks here!
- 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,438 Let's go!
- 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,106 God. He's just the best!
- 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,983 Mr. Reiner, can I get you a muffin?
- 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,359 Or -- Or a cold drink perhaps?
- 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,987 You guys, I think we should bail out of this right now.
- 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:04,821 Huh?
- 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,156 I just know where this is heading.
- 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:08,283 It's gonna end up with the whole town taking this too far
- 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,285 and us having to talk about what we learned
- 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,578 to change everyone's minds.
- 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,331 I say we just stop it right now and go play cards or something.
- 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,457 Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:16,583 Yeah. Maybe you're right.
- 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,336 So, gentlemen, looks like only one of us
- 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,879 gets to be in the commercial, huh?
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,088 Who will it be?
- 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,049 Gentlemen, the game is on.
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468 Go ahead. We don't want to be in their stupid commercial.
- 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,511 Huh? Oh, I get it, Kyle.
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,138 That's your Serbian-Jew double bluff --
- 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,182 make me think you don't care about being in the commercial
- 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,475 so maybe I won't either.
- 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,935 Oops. Didn't work, did it, Kyle?
- 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,187 No, we really want nothing more to do with these people.
- 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,272 Sure you don't, Kyle. Oh, and neither do I.
- 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,815 I know what you're gonna say next.
- 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,859 "How about none of us show up tomorrow to do it?"
- 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,778 And I'm supposed to agree so that tomorrow
- 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,988 you can waltz in all by yourself and do the commercial.
- 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,200 That's Serbian-Jew double bluff, and it ain't gonna work on me.
- 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,493 Heh heh heh.
- 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,078 Only one of us can be in the commercial, gentlemen.
- 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,289 The game...is on.
- 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,798 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,179 Sorry, Kyle, but I'm afraid only one of us
- 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,556 will be showing up to do the commercial tomorrow!
- 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:16,142 Thought you had me with your Serbian-Jew double bluff.
- 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,019 Well, let's see you try to open this door now.
- 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,772 [ Laughing ]
- 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,482 What are you doing?
- 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,611 Oh. Hello, Kyle.
- 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,490 Oh -- Oh, man. Wait. This isn't my house.
- 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,492 Cartman, you go ahead and do the commercial tomorrow.
- 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,493 But I'm warning you --
- 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,578 Those antismoking people are liars and they're bullies
- 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,455 who will stop at nothing to get what they want,
- 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,165 and that means they're dangerous.
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,548 [ Laughs ] Nice try, Kyle!
- 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,383 Let's see you try to get through this door now.
- 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,801 [ Laughs ]
- 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,723 Okay, Eric. This is gonna be real simple.
- 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,433 All you got to do is just read the words
- 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,018 on the Teleprompter here.
- 00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,269 [ Laughs ] Okay.
- 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,646 Let's see how the tobacco companies deal with this.
- 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,482 All right. Roll camera. Roll the Teleprompter.
- 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,192 And whenever you're ready, Eric.
- 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,569 [ Giggling ] Okay. Okay.
- 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,029 [ Exhales deeply ]
- 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,238 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,824 You know, some people say there's no proof
- 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,325 that secondhand smoke kills.
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,119 The tobacco companies say there's no proof
- 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,871 that secondhand smoke kills.
- 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,665 I've just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.
- 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,917 I guess...I'm the proof.
- 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,419 The next time you want to believe
- 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,630 that secondhand smoke doesn't kill, think about me.
- 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:32,218 Because by the time you see this commercial, I'll be dead.
- 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:34,554 Dead?
- 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,681 And cut! Great! We got it. - [ Bell rings ]
- 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,017 Wrap out, people. That was fantastic.
- 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,269 Uh, what -- what does that mean, "I'll be dead"?
- 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,397 Hey, uh, what -- what was that "dead" part?
- 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,899 That was very good, Eric.
- 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,777 Here. Eat this cupcake.
- 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,488 Uh, no, thanks. I'm not hungry.
- 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:52,572 But you are.
- 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,574 Just eat this one cupcake.
- 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,535 It has sprinkles.
- 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,038 I'm not eating the cupcake.
- 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,582 Eric, do you know what a hero is?
- 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,251 A hero is somebody who sacrifices himself
- 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,795 for the good of others.
- 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,379 You can be a hero, Eric.
- 00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:12,342 All you have to do is eat the cupcake.
- 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,220 Jesus Christ!
- 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,638 Aah! - Hey!
- 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,807 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,142 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,566 What are you doing, Cartman?
- 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,985 They're going to kill me!
- 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,195 Who's going to kill you?
- 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,530 The antismoking people!
- 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,198 They had me say I died from secondhand smoke,
- 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,492 and now they want to sacrifice me to make it look real!
- 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,743 They'll stop at nothing!
- 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,078 Well, get away from us, then.
- 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,038 Yeah, dude. Don't get us killed, too.
- 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,249 You guys have to help me! - No, dude! Get away!
- 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:45,917 Please, you guys! I don't know what to do!
- 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,502 Stop it, Cartman. Go die on your own.
- 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,003 If I go, you guys go!
- 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,046 Dad!
- 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,047 What?
- 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,924 The antismoking people are trying to kill Cartman,
- 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,217 and he won't stay away from us.
- 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,094 Don't be ridiculous, boys.
- 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,429 The antismoking people are kind, caring, and intelligent.
- 00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,764 Your heads have just been corrupted
- 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,308 by the lies of the big tobacco companies.
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,227 Hey! Maybe that's it, you guys.
- 00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,937 Maybe the tobacco company can help us.
- 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,231 Help <i>you,</i>fat-ass. We weren't in the commercial, remember?
- 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,941 Yeah. Go to the tobacco company yourself.
- 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,901 That's fine! I thought you guys were my friends!
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,444 But I guess I was wrong.
- 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,238 Yeah, dude. You were totally wrong.
- 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,156 Mrph rm.
- 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,032 You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off now!
- 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,742 Now, come on. We're going to the tobacco company!
- 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,119 Oh, all right. - No!
- 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:23,496 What we really should do is go to our parents right now
- 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,832 and take responsibility for smoking ourselves,
- 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,125 even if it means getting grounded.
- 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:27,959 Why?
- 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,544 Because if we go to the tobacco company,
- 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,004 I know exactly what'll happen.
- 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,089 They'll take us in, and then Rob Reiner will show up
- 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,091 with all the townspeople holding torches or something,
- 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,926 and there'll be a big showdown until we talk about
- 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,803 what we learned and change everyone's minds.
- 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,680 This is all following a formula!
- 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,684 So it's either deal with that or be grounded for three weeks.
- 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,229 [ Crowd shouting ]
- 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,482 God damn it.
- 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,151 Give us the child!
- 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,360 We will not!
- 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,486 There! You see that?
- 00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,822 The tobacco company won't give us the kid!
- 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,115 And do you know why?
- 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,118 Because they know that if they give us that kid,
- 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,453 then we'll kill him --
- 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,163 and when our commercial goes on the air,
- 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,165 it will lose them business!
- 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,416 [ Crowd shouting ]
- 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,712 W-Wait a minute. What?
- 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,423 Yeah, when we kill the kid, people are gonna think
- 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,966 it's because of secondhand smoke.
- 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:19,093 And then these bastards aren't gonna make money,
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,678 and they know it!
- 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,097 W-What the hell is wrong with you?
- 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,432 That's not right.
- 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,310 Oh, God damn it. Do I have to explain this again?
- 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,354 Smoking is bad, people!
- 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,982 So if we have to be a little extreme to stop it, it's okay!
- 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,734 No, it isn't, you fat turd!
- 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,819 Because...I've learned something today.
- 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,071 You just hate --
- 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,697 - See? I knew it. - Yep.
- 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,242 You just hate smoking, so you use all your money and power
- 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,826 to force others to think like you.
- 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,828 And that's called fascism, you tubby asshole.
- 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:48,873 God damn it! There will be no more smoking!
- 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,959 It wasn't the tobacco company's fault that we smoked.
- 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,210 It was our fault -- us.
- 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,003 We should all take personal responsibility
- 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,673 instead of letting fat fascists like him tell us what to do.
- 00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,509 You're right, boys, m'kay.
- 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:01,511 Yeah! Let smokers smoke!
- 00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,554 Yeah! - That's right!
- 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,683 Hey, Mr. Reiner, why don't you "butt out"?
- 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,768 [ Laughter ]
- 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:11,646 I'm warning you -- Don't mess with antismoking groups.
- 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,190 I don't idolize you anymore, asshole!
- 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,276 [ Groaning ]
- 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,988 My goo! My precious goo!
- 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,115 [ Groaning ]
- 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:26,035 So, Kyle, it wasn't the tobacco company
- 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,287 that made you want to smoke?
- 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,204 No.
- 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,081 Well, then you are grounded, mister!
- 00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,291 You too, Eric.
- 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:33,251 Aw! Aww!
- 00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,169 Well, I guess we learned our lesson.
- 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,714 No, we didn't, dude. No, we didn't.
- 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:38,715 [ Light music plays ]
- 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,884 ♪ With a hide-e-lie-dee-lie-dee and a hide-e-lie-dee-lay ♪
- 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,721 ♪ We work and we make cigarettes all hide-e-lie-dee day ♪
- 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:45,888 ♪ So folks can get a break-ee ♪
- 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,348 ♪ From their stressful lie-dee lives ♪
- 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,891 ♪ And relax-ee with the cigarettes ♪
- 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,935 ♪ We make all day and night ♪
- 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,022 ♪ I like to have a cigarette every now and then ♪
- 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,607 ♪ It makes me feel calmer when the day is at an end ♪
- 00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,527 ♪ And if it gives me cancer when I'm 80, I don't care ♪
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