Загрузка
00:00
/
22:07
Всё о мормонах
All About Mormons
Сезон: 07Серия: 12
Описание
В город приезжает семья мормонов. Постепенно Стэн сближается с ними, а его отец и вовсе решает стать мормоном.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,346 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,098 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,894 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,356 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,735 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,372 Okay, children. Let's take our seats.
- 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,624 We have a new student joining us today
- 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,960 who has just moved here from Utah.
- 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,464 I want you all to say hi to Gary!
- 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:50,217 Hello, everybody. It's really great to meet you all.
- 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,763 Gary was state champion in wrestling <i>and</i> in tennis.
- 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:54,930 He also maintained
- 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,558 a 4.0 grade-point average at his old school
- 00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,978 and has been on two national commercials for toothpaste.
- 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,688 I'm really excited to live in this town
- 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,732 and share all kinds of great experiences with you,
- 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,233 my new friends.
- 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,818 Oh, dude, what a little asshole.
- 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,028 Yeah. Screw that kid.
- 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,572 All right, Gary, why don't you take that empty seat,
- 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,741 and we'll get started with the lesson?
- 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,329 Hey. My name's Gary.
- 00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:22,333 Hi! My name's Yura -- Yura Fag.
- 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:25,252 That's funny. You're cool, man.
- 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,171 Okay, now, who can tell me what year
- 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,590 the first astronauts landed on the moon?
- 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,634 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 1969.
- 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,594 Very good, Gary.
- 00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,470 Wow.
- 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,389 Looks like I don't have a class full of retards anymore,
- 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,225 doesn't it, children?
- 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,437 Dude, that new kid is such a douche.
- 00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,356 Yeah. Somebody needs to put him in his place.
- 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,399 He's a pecker face. That's what he is.
- 00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:48,776 Go kick his ass, Stan.
- 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,236 Yeah. Go kick his ass.
- 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:51,529 Well, maybe he won't fight.
- 00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,239 Will he bleed? That's all we care about.
- 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,156 Come on, dude.
- 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,283 Somebody needs to wipe that fucking smirk off his face.
- 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,368 Yeah. Little bitch.
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,078 All right. I'm gonna go kick his ass.
- 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:02,164 Yeah! Go, Stan! Go, Stan!
- 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,084 I got five bucks on the other kid. Who wants it?
- 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,963 Oh, hey, there. You want to kick the ball around with me?
- 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:12,258 No. I'm...I'm gonna kick your ass.
- 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:13,134 Excuse me?
- 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:16,262 I'm gonna kick your ass...bitch.
- 00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:18,597 How come you want to fight me?
- 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,975 Oh, I get it. I'm the new kid.
- 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,102 Yeah. I guess maybe I deserve it.
- 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:24,645 Huh?
- 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,397 It's really tough being in a totally new place,
- 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,691 but I think all you guys are really cool, so...
- 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,985 I understand if there's initiation rites.
- 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,195 Dude, stop it.
- 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,655 Let him have it, Stan!
- 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:35,990 Shut up, Butters!
- 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:37,408 The other kids are watching.
- 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,785 Look, do what you got to do. I won't fight back.
- 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,287 I just hope that maybe afterwards,
- 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,414 we can try to be friends someday.
- 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,040 What are they doing?
- 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,917 They're just standing there, talking.
- 00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,130 What happened?
- 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,966 I'm...going over to his house for dinner tonight.
- 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,634 What? How did that happen?
- 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,179 He's...a really nice kid.
- 00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:00,639 You were supposed to kick his ass, not lick his butthole.
- 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,683 You're having dinner with his family?
- 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,852 What kind of family has a kid like that?
- 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,396 Okay. My turn.
- 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,814 Ooh! 5!
- 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,524 One, two, three, four, five.
- 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,903 Oh! "Lost your mortgage -- pay $10,000."
- 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,905 Oh, no!
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,364 Hey, it's Gary!
- 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,532 Gary! - Great to see you!
- 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:19,658 How are you?
- 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,243 Hey, everybody. This is my new friend Stan.
- 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,661 Stan, this is my mom and dad.
- 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:23,787 Hi, Stan!
- 00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,497 It's so nice to meet you!
- 00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:27,583 This is my brother Mark. - Hi!
- 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,084 My sister Jenny. - Hey!
- 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,628 My little brother, Dave. - Hi!
- 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,880 And my baby sister, Amanda.
- 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,299 Hello, Stan!
- 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,427 It's great you could join us for family home evening, Stan.
- 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,429 What's that? - That's when we don't allow any TV
- 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,598 and just entertain each other with music and stories.
- 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,974 Doesn't your family ever do that?
- 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:44,808 No.
- 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,685 Hey, kids, why don't you grab your instruments
- 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,728 and play a song for Stan?
- 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,022 All right! Let's do it! - Yeah! All right!
- 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,359 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love my family ♪
- 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,694 ♪ My family is the best ♪
- 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,530 ♪ If we ever have to face a challenge ♪
- 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:01,158 ♪ Our family! - ♪ Can pass the test ♪
- 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,162 Oh, boy, who is the best mom in the world?
- 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,914 Yay! - All right, Mom!
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,415 All right! Go, Dave!
- 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,667 - Yes! - Whoo-hoo!
- 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:13,796 Where be your gibes now, your gambols, your songs...
- 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,131 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
- 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,009 That's a great story, Sarah!
- 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,135 All right, kids.
- 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,680 Now how about we do some Scripture readings --
- 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,306 from the Book of Mormon?!
- 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,182 All right! - Yeah!
- 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,392 Whoo-hoo! - Ow!
- 00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:28,435 The Book of Mormon? What's that?
- 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,437 You know, the book that Joseph Smith found.
- 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,689 Who's Joseph Smith?
- 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,234 Only the most important person in the world.
- 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,111 - You never heard of him? - No!
- 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:39,071 Tell us the story of Joseph Smith again, Dad.
- 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,072 Tell us! - Tell us!
- 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,156 Yeah, Dad. - All right.
- 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,409 All right, you rascals. Gather 'round.
- 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,120 Joseph Smith lived in a little American town
- 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,039 in the early 1800s.
- 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,835 ♪ Dee da da dee da dum ♪
- 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,045 ♪ Joseph Smith was called a prophet ♪
- 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,755 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,216 ♪ He started the Mormon religion ♪
- 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,093 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,262 There goes that kooky Joseph Smith.
- 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,973 You know, he claims he spoke with God and Jesus.
- 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,725 Well, how do you know he didn't?
- 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,351 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,645 ♪ Joseph Smith was called a prophet ♪
- 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,813 Hey, Joseph.
- 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,649 I told my wife that you spoke with God and Jesus,
- 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,401 and she didn't believe it.
- 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,861 Well, it's true -- I did.
- 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:19,737 Where?
- 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,197 I was out in the woods, praying.
- 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,075 I was asking God if I should be a Protestant
- 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,243 or a Catholic or what,
- 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,746 and suddenly, God and Jesus appeared before me.
- 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:31,332 And they said I should start my own church
- 00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:33,876 because none of the others had it right.
- 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,920 And that's exactly how it happened.
- 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:38,547 You see? You believe it now?
- 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,591 Well, yeah. Sure. Why would he make that up?
- 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,634 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,970 ♪ Many people believed Joseph ♪
- 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,847 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,016 ♪ And that night he saw an angel ♪
- 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,477 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,979 And please bless Mother and Father.
- 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,939 And please keep our bellies full of yum-yums
- 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,316 and luscious goodies.
- 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,276 Aah!
- 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,904 Oh, my gosh!
- 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:05,491 I am Moroni. I am a Native American.
- 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:08,994 A <i>Native</i> American? But your skin is white.
- 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,955 Yes. Long ago, all Native Americans were white.
- 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,500 We all came to America from Jerusalem,
- 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,669 and while we were here, we were visited by Christ.
- 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,422 Jesus lived here in America?
- 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,256 Yes.
- 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,050 Eventually my people were all killed
- 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,760 by the other tribe of Israel.
- 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,013 And as punishment, God turned their skin red.
- 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:31,058 These are the Native Americans you know today.
- 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,352 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,396 There is an ancient book buried near here,
- 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:38,315 written on gold plates, that account my people's lives.
- 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,817 Also buried with the book
- 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,569 are two seer stones -- the Urim and Thummim --
- 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,030 which will allow you to translate the writings.
- 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,866 Find it and fulfill your destiny.
- 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,120 Wow!
- 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,080 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,332 ♪ Joseph Smith was called a prophet ♪
- 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:58,168 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,587 And we all know what happened then, don't we?
- 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,214 Yeah! - Yeah! I know!
- 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,174 What happened then?
- 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,051 Ooh, the Rice Krispie squares are done.
- 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,136 Rice Krispie squares! - All right!
- 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,887 Yay! - Rice Krispie squares!
- 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,348 Hey, gang, let's wrap some more of them up in plastic wrap
- 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,641 and hand them out to the poor!
- 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,393 Awesome! - I can't wait!
- 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:15,644 You coming, Stan?
- 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,354 No. I was supposed to be home at 8:00.
- 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,273 Aw! That's too bad!
- 00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,275 Well, it was really nice meeting you, Stan.
- 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,443 Bye, Stan! - See ya!
- 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,111 Great to meet you! - Bye!
- 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,660 <i>Told you he'd say that, didn't I?</i>
- 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,664 <i>Yep. Yep, yep, yep.</i>
- 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,790 Hello?
- 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,834 Oh. Hi, Stan.
- 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,879 Hey, Dad, how come you never told me about Joseph Smith?
- 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:42,838 Who?
- 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,756 Shut up, turd! We're watching "Friends"!
- 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,675 The guy who spoke to God and Jesus.
- 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,095 Well, Stan, God and Jesus don't actually speak to people.
- 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,513 That's not what the Harrisons said.
- 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,723 Who are the Harrisons?
- 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,475 The new people that moved in down the street.
- 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,685 Mr. Harrison said Joseph Smith spoke to God and Jesus
- 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,687 and they told him none of the religions were right.
- 00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,980 Oh, did he, now?
- 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,648 What are they, religious kooks?
- 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,066 They're not kooks. They're cool.
- 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,110 How come we never have a night where we don't watch any TV
- 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,945 and we just do stuff together and eat and drink?
- 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,239 We have that, Stan. It's called Friday-night kegger.
- 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,991 But that's just you and your friends.
- 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,826 I said shut up, turd!
- 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,328 Mr. Harrison said that I need to be following
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,788 heavenly father's plan, and I don't even know what that is.
- 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,290 All right. That does it!
- 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,416 Where are you going?
- 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,044 I'm gonna go have a talk with this Mr. Harrison.
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,921 If he thinks he can fill my son's head
- 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,548 with wacko religious crap, he's wrong!
- 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,550 Randy, don't cause trouble.
- 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,801 Let me handle this, Sharon.
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,762 You got to put these cult people in their place
- 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,180 or else they never stop.
- 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:36,016 I'm gonna go kick this Mr. Harrison's ass.
- 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,937 This Mr. Harrison is -- is a white guy, right?
- 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,188 Yeah. - Yeah.
- 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,607 I'm gonna go kick his ass!
- 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,028 Goddamn religious kooks.
- 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,905 Tell my son what to believe, will you?
- 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,283 We'll see how you like my fist in your ass.
- 00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,537 Hello!
- 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,205 Yeah. Are you Mr. Harrison?
- 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,332 I sure am. The -- The name's Gary.
- 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,751 Well, look, my kid was just over at your house and he, uh --
- 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,086 Oh, you're Stan's dad!
- 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,213 It's <i>so</i> nice to finally meet you!
- 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,090 Karen! Mr. Marsh is here!
- 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,883 Uh, look, I just want to tell you that --
- 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,927 Oh, Mr. Marsh! What a treat!
- 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,762 It's so nice to meet you!
- 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,430 Well, thanks. Uh...
- 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,473 Karen just finished baking
- 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,059 the most amazing Rice Krispie squares.
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,227 With chocolate frosting.
- 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,312 Come on out of the cold. You got to try one.
- 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,982 Or six.
- 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:28,318 I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have you over.
- 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,029 I hear you're a geologist. That is so amazing.
- 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:34,199 Look, uh, I actually came over because I'm a little concerned
- 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,493 about some of the things you told my son.
- 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,911 Uh-huh. - Uh-huh.
- 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:42,207 You know, about...God and stuff.
- 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,500 Oh.
- 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,587 Oh, boy. Y-You think we were trying to convert him.
- 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:47,421 Well, I --
- 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:50,090 Oh, Mr. Marsh, I am so sorry.
- 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,800 We just moved here from Utah,
- 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,011 and we're so used to everyone being Mormon that we --
- 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,179 we forget not everyone wants to hear about it.
- 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,098 Oh, boy. You must be furious.
- 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,350 Well...no. No. I just --
- 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,686 You just heard your son talking about religious ideals
- 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,313 that aren't your own, and you said,
- 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,982 "Who the heck do these people think they are?"
- 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,067 I-I'm really, truly sorry, Mr. Marsh.
- 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,319 It won't happen again.
- 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,654 You can...call me Randy.
- 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,781 Randy, the last thing we want is for people to think
- 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,033 we're pushing our religion.
- 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,701 We know there are a lot of beliefs out there,
- 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,077 and ours just works for us.
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,579 To each his own, right?
- 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,205 Yeah.
- 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,707 Yeah!
- 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,043 You know, to be honest, I've never known any Mormons.
- 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,378 I don't even know what you people believe.
- 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,130 Who was this Joseph Smith guy?
- 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,007 Why did he believe that Native Americans
- 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,509 were actually white people from Jerusalem?
- 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,803 Well, because he found ancient books <i>they</i> had written
- 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:37,971 on gold plates --
- 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,932 right where the angel Moroni said they would be.
- 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,439 I found them! I found them!
- 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,775 You're not gonna believe it, everybody!
- 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,942 I found them!
- 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:51,985 Found what?
- 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,280 Another New Testament of Jesus Christ.
- 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,282 What?
- 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,369 Last night, a Native American angel told me
- 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,454 where I could find another testament of Jesus Christ,
- 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,373 so I went out to the woods.
- 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,459 I dug around all morning where the angel had told me to look.
- 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,379 Hmm. Maybe there <i>isn't</i> anything out here.
- 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,589 Wait a tick. What's this?
- 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,384 Wow.
- 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:19,763 Inside the stone box, I found the magical seer stones.
- 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,057 Under that, I found four gold plates
- 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,975 written in strange writing.
- 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,728 This must be the gospel that Jesus told the Nephites.
- 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,648 Well, they were the most amazing things I had ever gazed upon.
- 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,483 Well, s-so where are they?
- 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,526 Where are what?
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,237 The gold plates and the seer stones. Where are they?
- 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,405 Oh.
- 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,573 Oh. Well, I was not allowed to take them.
- 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,826 You see, after I found the plates,
- 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:43,036 the angel Moroni appeared to me again
- 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,247 and said that I am not allowed to show the plates
- 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:49,209 or the seer stones to anybody, because first I must translate
- 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,044 what's written on the plates into English
- 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,379 so you can all read it.
- 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,297 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,841 Wow! - That's amazing!
- 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,679 ♪ He found the stones and golden plates ♪
- 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,597 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,891 ♪ Even though nobody else ever saw them ♪
- 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,477 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,021 <i>I have some laundry to do.</i>
- 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,315 <i>I've got to do like your father did.</i>
- 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,359 So, how'd it go, Clubber Lang?
- 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,570 You kick Mr. Harrison's ass?
- 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:17,821 Not exactly.
- 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:21,283 We're, uh, having their family over for dinner tomorrow night.
- 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,118 See? That's what happened to me!
- 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,954 Sharon, did you know this guy Joseph Smith
- 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,749 found a new testament to the Bible buried here in America?
- 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,083 What are you talking about?
- 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,043 Well, it's just that the Harrisons
- 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,336 are really nice people,
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,339 and you should see how loving and together their family is.
- 00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,009 I-I think there's something to that religion.
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,552 That's what they made me think, too.
- 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:41,887 All right. That does it.
- 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:45,223 From now on, our family is Mormon!
- 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,519 Hey, Stan, how was your date last night with the new kid?
- 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,271 Shut up, dude. They're a nice family.
- 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,356 Gary is actually really smart and talented.
- 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:56,777 Aww, you guys, I think Stan's in love.
- 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,653 Yeah, did you make out with him, too?
- 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,572 What's the big deal? Can't I have other friends?
- 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,073 You guys should give Gary a chance.
- 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:02,908 Hey, Stan.
- 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,035 Oh, here's Stan's little girlfriend now.
- 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:05,869 Hey, guys.
- 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,996 Stan, I remember you said last night you'd lost your wallet,
- 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,331 so I made you a new one.
- 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,417 I carved a picture of John Elway into the leather on the front.
- 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,919 Wow. You made this?
- 00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,755 Aw, look at them. Aren't they so cute together?
- 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,173 Hey, my family's on their way
- 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,925 over to the fire station to donate blood.
- 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,092 You want to come along?
- 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,804 Uh, I don't think so, Gary. I have to, uh --
- 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,514 Here comes my family now!
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:27,766 Hey, guys! - Hey, guys!
- 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,727 Look! We painted our faces!
- 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,104 I'm a lion.
- 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,356 I'm an alien.
- 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,900 Hey! Just what the heck am I supposed to be?
- 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,111 My God.
- 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,988 You gonna come with us to the fire station, Stan?
- 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,282 Uh, no. I've got a lot to do.
- 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,118 Well, Gary, you want to just hang out with your friend Stan?
- 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,745 Oh, well, I'd like to, but...
- 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,914 Oh, man, I would miss you guys so much.
- 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,374 We'd miss you, too, Gary.
- 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,251 Oh, we'll all see each other tonight
- 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,002 when we go to Stan's house for dinner.
- 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,671 Stay and play with your friends, Gary.
- 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,673 Yeah! Have a good time, boys.
- 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,717 Let's go!
- 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,470 Our faces are painted!
- 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,806 Wow.
- 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,599 So, what do you guys want to do?
- 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,018 Uh, that's cool. We're gonna leave you two lovebirds alone.
- 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,395 The three of us have to go put in
- 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,063 some volunteer work at the homeless shelter.
- 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,190 Oh, cool! I'm gonna do that tomorrow.
- 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,401 Jesus Christ.
- 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,697 So, hey, I heard your dad came over last night,
- 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,532 and he and my dad talked about Joseph Smith.
- 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,950 That's great!
- 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,661 Yeah. I had a question about that Joseph Smith guy.
- 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:30,495 Sure.
- 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,956 What happened after he found the golden plates buried in the ground?
- 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,292 Well, he kept them hidden from everyone like he was told,
- 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,168 and then he translated what was written on the plates
- 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,503 into the Book of Mormon.
- 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,255 Yeah, but how?
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,884 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,219 What's this all about, Mr. Smith?
- 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,513 Mr. Harris, can you keep a secret?
- 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,140 Well, sure, I can.
- 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,058 I have in my possession
- 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,311 an ancient book written on gold plates
- 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,897 that tells of Jesus Christ's second coming --
- 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,773 here, in America!
- 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,901 In America? Really?
- 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,153 That sounds kind of...
- 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,071 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,156 It's true!
- 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:07,782 And I'm going to translate the plates
- 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,036 and publish it into a book for the whole world to read.
- 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,538 Now, I-I know you have a lot of money, Mr. Harris,
- 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,206 and I'm just gonna need a little bit
- 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,750 to pay for the publishing costs.
- 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,084 Mm, I don't know.
- 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,253 How do you expect to translate it?
- 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,963 With these.
- 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,131 Rocks?
- 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,215 They're not rocks.
- 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,801 They're seer stones given to me by an angel.
- 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,511 With them, God allows me
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,221 to translate the plates into English.
- 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:33,850 Watch. You take this quill and paper and write down what I say.
- 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:34,768 Sit here.
- 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,645 I have the golden plates here in this hat.
- 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:37,854 I need to have them somewhere dark
- 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,522 so I can read the spiritual light.
- 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:40,649 R-Really?
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,567 When I put the seer stones into the hat,
- 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,111 the ancient letters light up and change to English,
- 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,947 which I can then read to you.
- 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,615 Wow!
- 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,202 Ooh! I'm seeing the light!
- 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,329 O-Okay. Write this down.
- 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,624 And so it...was...
- 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:01,836 that...Christ appeared before the...
- 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,380 Nephites.
- 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,840 ♪ And that's how the Book of Mormon was written ♪
- 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,717 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:11,805 ♪ Dum da dum dum dum-dum-dum dum da dum dum dum-dum-dum ♪
- 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:16,434 ♪ Dum dum dum-dum-dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,397 One, two, three, four.
- 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,400 "Pay $1,000 property tax."
- 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:26,987 Isn't this great, you guys? Our first family home evening.
- 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,072 I want to watch TV.
- 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,323 We're not watching TV!
- 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,993 We're Mormons now, and we're having family home evening!
- 00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,828 Dad, did you know that Joseph Smith guy
- 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,538 read the Book of Mormon out of a hat?
- 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:37,872 And? Your turn, Sharon.
- 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,457 It's just that the Book of Mormon
- 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,709 says a lot of strange stuff,
- 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,503 like that Adam and Eve lived in Jackson County, Missouri.
- 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,421 Yes?
- 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:45,338 But school taught me
- 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,923 that the first man and woman lived in Africa.
- 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,509 You can't believe everything school tells you, Stan.
- 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,844 Your turn, Shelly.
- 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,055 Ooh! That must be the Harrisons!
- 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,475 Hey, we're here! - Hey, everybody!
- 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,602 Wow! What a great house!
- 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:03,064 You must be Mrs. Marsh! It's so nice to meet you!
- 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,315 And you must be Stan's sister.
- 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,276 Oh, I think your brother's the greatest.
- 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,403 My brother is a stupid turd.
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,530 Hey, Stan! - Hey, Gary.
- 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,449 Well, come on in and sit down, everybody.
- 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,034 You're here just in time.
- 00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,619 My son was having a little problem with our new religion.
- 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:17,454 Dad.
- 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,913 Oh, really?
- 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,416 Well, that's just because he hasn't heard the best part
- 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,126 about the Joseph Smith story --
- 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,503 the one that proves he was for real.
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,256 Ooh. What's that?
- 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,384 Well, you remember Martin Harris, the rich man
- 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,095 who wrote down what Joseph Smith read out of the hat?
- 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:34,721 Yeah.
- 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:37,390 See, after he was done, he took some of the pages
- 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,185 of what would become the Book of Mormon home.
- 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,437 ♪ Martin went home to his wife ♪
- 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,230 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,691 ♪ And showed her pages from the Book of Mormon ♪
- 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,902 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,780 A-And so Joseph Smith put his head into a hat
- 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,115 a-and read to me what the golden plates said.
- 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,619 I wrote it all down, and we're gonna publish it into a book.
- 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,747 Martin, how do you know he isn't just making stuff up
- 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:03,625 and pretending he's translating off golden plates?
- 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,710 ♪ Lucy Harris, smart, smart, smart ♪
- 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,754 ♪ Smart, smart, smart, smart, smart ♪
- 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,881 Why would he make it up?
- 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,092 ♪ Martin Harris, dum da dum ♪
- 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,761 All right. Here. I'm gonna hide these pages.
- 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,805 If Joseph Smith really <i>is</i> translating
- 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,140 off of golden plates, he'll be able to do it again.
- 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,267 But if Joseph Smith is making it all up,
- 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,478 the new translations will be different from these.
- 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,021 Okay. Fine.
- 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,815 I bet he'll have no problem.
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,109 ♪ Lucy Harris, smart, smart, smart ♪
- 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,152 ♪ Martin Harris, dum ♪
- 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,113 ♪ So Martin went on back to Smith's ♪
- 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,198 ♪ Said the pages had gone away ♪
- 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:39,494 ♪ Smith got mad and told Martin he needed to go pray ♪
- 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,038 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:45,542 Look, I'm sorry about losing the pages we worked on, Joe,
- 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293 but I'm ready to write it all down again
- 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,003 if you'd translate from the plates.
- 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:52,590 I would love to, Martin, except...I just had a vision.
- 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,009 And the Lord said he is very angry with me
- 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,553 for letting you take those pages.
- 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,138 He is?
- 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,140 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:00,849 Yes.
- 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,601 He is so mad that he will never let me translate
- 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,145 from the plate of Lehi again.
- 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,398 He said we must now translate from the plate of Nephi.
- 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,650 So it will be the same basic story
- 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,193 but written a little differently.
- 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,195 Wow!
- 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,905 If God got angry with you,
- 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,824 then you must be telling the truth!
- 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,201 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,162 All right, Martin. Let's get to work.
- 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,750 And that's how it happened.
- 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,669 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:32,755 Wait.
- 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,549 Mormons actually know this story,
- 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,801 and they still believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?
- 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,387 Well, sure! The story proves it, doesn't it?
- 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,181 No, it proves he <i>did</i> make it all up.
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,182 Are you blind?
- 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,225 Well, Stan, it's all a matter of faith.
- 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,476 No. It's a matter of logic.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,312 If you're gonna say things that have been proven wrong,
- 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,272 like that the first man and woman lived in Missouri
- 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,107 and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem,
- 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,734 then you'd better have something to back it up.
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,903 All you've got are a bunch of stories about some asswipe
- 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,654 who read plates nobody ever saw out of a hat
- 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:59,073 and couldn't do it again when the translations were hidden!
- 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,701 Hey, Stan. Don't denounce our religion.
- 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,578 I don't want to be Mormon, Dad!
- 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,079 Me neither.
- 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,414 That's totally cool, guys.
- 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,832 You can believe whatever you want!
- 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,918 Yeah! It's great you have your own beliefs!
- 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:10,919 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,212 Yay for the Marshes!
- 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,297 Oh, stop it! That's another thing!
- 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,007 Why do you have to be so freakin' nice all the time?
- 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:16,925 It isn't normal!
- 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,093 You just weasel people into your way of thinking
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,595 by acting like the happiest family in the world
- 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,721 and being so nice to everyone
- 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,474 that you just blindside dumb people like my dad!
- 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,975 Yeah!
- 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,732 Well, kids...
- 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,817 who's up for a water-balloon fight?!
- 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:35,860 Yeah! - Awesome!
- 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:36,986 All right! - Can't wait!
- 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,488 Water-balloon fight!
- 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,368 Oh, hey, Stan. Where's your best buddy, Gary?
- 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,286 I'm not hanging around that kid anymore.
- 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,163 Oh, no. You guys broke up?
- 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,207 You guys were right, okay? The new kid's a douche.
- 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,043 Now I just got to find a way to keep him away from me.
- 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,836 Hey, Stan. - Oh, brother.
- 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,089 Uh-oh! The jilted lover returns.
- 00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,715 I just wanted to let you know you don't have to worry
- 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,342 about me trying to be your friend anymore.
- 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,301 I don't?
- 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,470 Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories
- 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,846 that make absolutely no sense.
- 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:05,890 And maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up.
- 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,142 But I have a great life and a great family,
- 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,144 and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that.
- 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,022 The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up,
- 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:14,649 because what the church teaches now
- 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,026 is loving your family, being nice, and helping people.
- 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,570 And even though people in this town might think that's stupid,
- 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,197 I still choose to believe in it.
- 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,449 All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan.
- 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,951 But you're so high and mighty, you couldn't
- 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,661 look past my religion and just be my friend back.
- 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,121 You got a lot of growing up to do, buddy.
- 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,205 Suck my balls.
- 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,879 Damn. That kid is cool, huh?
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,346 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,098 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,894 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,356 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,735 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:35,953 [ Bell rings ]
- 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,372 Okay, children. Let's take our seats.
- 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,624 We have a new student joining us today
- 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,960 who has just moved here from Utah.
- 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,464 I want you all to say hi to Gary!
- 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:50,217 Hello, everybody. It's really great to meet you all.
- 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,763 Gary was state champion in wrestling <i>and</i> in tennis.
- 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:54,930 He also maintained
- 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,558 a 4.0 grade-point average at his old school
- 00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,978 and has been on two national commercials for toothpaste.
- 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,688 I'm really excited to live in this town
- 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,732 and share all kinds of great experiences with you,
- 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,233 my new friends.
- 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,818 Oh, dude, what a little asshole.
- 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,028 Yeah. Screw that kid.
- 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,572 All right, Gary, why don't you take that empty seat,
- 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,741 and we'll get started with the lesson?
- 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,329 Hey. My name's Gary.
- 00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:22,333 Hi! My name's Yura -- Yura Fag.
- 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:25,252 [ Laughs ] That's funny. You're cool, man.
- 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,171 Okay, now, who can tell me what year
- 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,590 the first astronauts landed on the moon?
- 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,634 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 1969.
- 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,594 Very good, Gary.
- 00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,470 Wow.
- 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,389 Looks like I don't have a class full of retards anymore,
- 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,225 doesn't it, children?
- 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,437 Dude, that new kid is such a douche.
- 00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,356 Yeah. Somebody needs to put him in his place.
- 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,399 He's a pecker face. That's what he is.
- 00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:48,776 Go kick his ass, Stan.
- 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,236 Yeah. Go kick his ass.
- 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:51,529 Well, maybe he won't fight.
- 00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,239 Will he bleed? That's all we care about.
- 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,156 Come on, dude.
- 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,283 Somebody needs to wipe that fucking smirk off his face.
- 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,368 Yeah. Little bitch.
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,078 All right. I'm gonna go kick his ass.
- 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:02,164 Yeah! Go, Stan! Go, Stan!
- 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,084 I got five bucks on the other kid. Who wants it?
- 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,963 Oh, hey, there. You want to kick the ball around with me?
- 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:12,258 No. I'm...I'm gonna kick your ass.
- 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:13,134 Excuse me?
- 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:16,262 I'm gonna kick your ass...bitch.
- 00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:18,597 How come you want to fight me?
- 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,975 Oh, I get it. I'm the new kid.
- 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,102 Yeah. I guess maybe I deserve it.
- 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:24,645 Huh?
- 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,397 It's really tough being in a totally new place,
- 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:28,691 but I think all you guys are really cool, so...
- 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,985 I understand if there's initiation rites.
- 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,195 Dude, stop it.
- 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,655 Let him have it, Stan!
- 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:35,990 Shut up, Butters!
- 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:37,408 The other kids are watching.
- 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,785 Look, do what you got to do. I won't fight back.
- 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,287 I just hope that maybe afterwards,
- 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,414 we can try to be friends someday.
- 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,040 What are they doing?
- 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,917 They're just standing there, talking.
- 00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,130 What happened?
- 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,966 I'm...going over to his house for dinner tonight.
- 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,634 What? How did that happen?
- 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,179 He's...a really nice kid.
- 00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:00,639 You were supposed to kick his ass, not lick his butthole.
- 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,683 You're having dinner with his family?
- 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,852 What kind of family has a kid like that?
- 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,228 [ Laughter ]
- 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,396 Okay. My turn.
- 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,814 Ooh! 5!
- 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,524 One, two, three, four, five.
- 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,903 Oh! "Lost your mortgage -- pay $10,000."
- 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,905 Oh, no! [ Laughter ]
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,364 Hey, it's Gary!
- 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,532 Gary! - Great to see you!
- 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:19,658 How are you?
- 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,243 Hey, everybody. This is my new friend Stan.
- 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,661 Stan, this is my mom and dad.
- 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:23,787 Hi, Stan!
- 00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,497 It's so nice to meet you!
- 00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:27,583 This is my brother Mark. - Hi!
- 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,084 My sister Jenny. - Hey!
- 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,628 My little brother, Dave. - Hi!
- 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,880 And my baby sister, Amanda.
- 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,299 Hello, Stan!
- 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,427 It's great you could join us for family home evening, Stan.
- 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,429 What's that? - That's when we don't allow any TV
- 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,598 and just entertain each other with music and stories.
- 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,974 Doesn't your family ever do that?
- 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:44,808 No.
- 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,685 Hey, kids, why don't you grab your instruments
- 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,728 and play a song for Stan?
- 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,022 All right! Let's do it! - Yeah! All right!
- 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,359 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love my family ♪
- 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,694 ♪ My family is the best ♪
- 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,530 ♪ If we ever have to face a challenge ♪
- 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:01,158 ♪ Our family! - ♪ Can pass the test ♪
- 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,162 Oh, boy, who is the best mom in the world?
- 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,914 Yay! - All right, Mom!
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,415 All right! Go, Dave!
- 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,667 - Yes! - Whoo-hoo!
- 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:13,796 Where be your gibes now, your gambols, your songs...
- 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,131 [all] Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
- 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:17,341 [ Laughter ]
- 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,009 That's a great story, Sarah!
- 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,135 All right, kids.
- 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,680 Now how about we do some Scripture readings --
- 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,306 from the Book of Mormon?!
- 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,182 All right! - Yeah!
- 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,392 Whoo-hoo! - Ow!
- 00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:28,435 The Book of Mormon? What's that?
- 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,437 You know, the book that Joseph Smith found.
- 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,689 Who's Joseph Smith?
- 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,148 [ Laughter ]
- 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,234 Only the most important person in the world.
- 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,111 - You never heard of him? - No!
- 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:39,071 Tell us the story of Joseph Smith again, Dad.
- 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,072 Tell us! - Tell us!
- 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,156 Yeah, Dad. - All right.
- 00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,409 All right, you rascals. Gather 'round.
- 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,120 Joseph Smith lived in a little American town
- 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,039 in the early 1800s.
- 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,000 [ Up-tempo orchestral music plays ]
- 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,835 ♪ Dee da da dee da dum ♪
- 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,045 ♪ Joseph Smith was called a prophet ♪
- 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,755 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,216 ♪ He started the Mormon religion ♪
- 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,093 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,262 There goes that kooky Joseph Smith.
- 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,973 You know, he claims he spoke with God and Jesus.
- 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,725 Well, how do you know he didn't?
- 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,351 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,645 ♪ Joseph Smith was called a prophet ♪
- 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,813 Hey, Joseph.
- 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,649 I told my wife that you spoke with God and Jesus,
- 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,401 and she didn't believe it.
- 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,861 Well, it's true -- I did.
- 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:19,737 Where?
- 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,197 I was out in the woods, praying.
- 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,075 I was asking God if I should be a Protestant
- 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,243 or a Catholic or what,
- 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,746 and suddenly, God and Jesus appeared before me.
- 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:31,332 And they said I should start my own church
- 00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:33,876 because none of the others had it right.
- 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,920 And that's exactly how it happened.
- 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:38,547 You see? You believe it now?
- 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,591 Well, yeah. Sure. Why would he make that up?
- 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,634 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,970 ♪ Many people believed Joseph ♪
- 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,847 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,016 ♪ And that night he saw an angel ♪
- 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,477 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,979 And please bless Mother and Father.
- 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,939 And please keep our bellies full of yum-yums
- 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,316 and luscious goodies.
- 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,276 Aah!
- 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,904 [ Choir vocalizing ] - Oh, my gosh!
- 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:05,491 I am Moroni. I am a Native American.
- 00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:08,994 A <i>Native</i> American? But your skin is white.
- 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,955 Yes. Long ago, all Native Americans were white.
- 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,500 We all came to America from Jerusalem,
- 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,669 and while we were here, we were visited by Christ.
- 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,422 Jesus lived here in America?
- 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,256 Yes.
- 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,050 Eventually my people were all killed
- 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,760 by the other tribe of Israel.
- 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,013 And as punishment, God turned their skin red.
- 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:31,058 These are the Native Americans you know today.
- 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,352 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,396 There is an ancient book buried near here,
- 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:38,315 written on gold plates, that account my people's lives.
- 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,817 Also buried with the book
- 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,569 are two seer stones -- the Urim and Thummim --
- 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,030 which will allow you to translate the writings.
- 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,866 Find it and fulfill your destiny.
- 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,077 [ Music continues ]
- 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,120 Wow!
- 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,080 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,332 ♪ Joseph Smith was called a prophet ♪
- 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:58,168 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,587 And we all know what happened then, don't we?
- 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,214 Yeah! - Yeah! I know!
- 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,174 What happened then? - [ Bell dings ]
- 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,051 Ooh, the Rice Krispie squares are done.
- 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,136 Rice Krispie squares! - All right!
- 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,887 Yay! - Rice Krispie squares!
- 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,348 Hey, gang, let's wrap some more of them up in plastic wrap
- 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,641 and hand them out to the poor!
- 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,393 Awesome! - I can't wait!
- 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:15,644 You coming, Stan?
- 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,354 No. I was supposed to be home at 8:00.
- 00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,273 Aw! That's too bad!
- 00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,275 Well, it was really nice meeting you, Stan.
- 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,443 Bye, Stan! - See ya!
- 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,111 Great to meet you! - Bye!
- 00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,992 [ Door opens, closes ]
- 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,660 <i>Told you he'd say that, didn't I?</i>
- 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,579 <i>[Laughter]</i>
- 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,664 <i>Yep. Yep, yep, yep.</i>
- 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,790 Hello?
- 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,834 Oh. Hi, Stan.
- 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,879 Hey, Dad, how come you never told me about Joseph Smith?
- 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:42,838 Who?
- 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,756 Shut up, turd! We're watching "Friends"!
- 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,675 The guy who spoke to God and Jesus.
- 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,095 Well, Stan, God and Jesus don't actually speak to people.
- 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,513 That's not what the Harrisons said.
- 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,723 Who are the Harrisons?
- 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,475 The new people that moved in down the street.
- 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,685 Mr. Harrison said Joseph Smith spoke to God and Jesus
- 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,687 and they told him none of the religions were right.
- 00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,980 Oh, did he, now?
- 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,648 What are they, religious kooks?
- 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,066 They're not kooks. They're cool.
- 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,110 How come we never have a night where we don't watch any TV
- 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,945 and we just do stuff together and eat and drink?
- 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,239 We have that, Stan. It's called Friday-night kegger.
- 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,991 But that's just you and your friends.
- 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,826 I said shut up, turd!
- 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,328 Mr. Harrison said that I need to be following
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,788 heavenly father's plan, and I don't even know what that is.
- 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,290 All right. That does it!
- 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,416 Where are you going?
- 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,044 I'm gonna go have a talk with this Mr. Harrison.
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,921 If he thinks he can fill my son's head
- 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,548 with wacko religious crap, he's wrong!
- 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,550 Randy, don't cause trouble.
- 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,801 Let me handle this, Sharon.
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,762 You got to put these cult people in their place
- 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,180 or else they never stop.
- 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:36,016 I'm gonna go kick this Mr. Harrison's ass.
- 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,937 This Mr. Harrison is -- is a white guy, right?
- 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,188 Yeah. - Yeah.
- 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,607 I'm gonna go kick his ass!
- 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,193 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,028 Goddamn religious kooks.
- 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,905 Tell my son what to believe, will you?
- 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,283 We'll see how you like my fist in your ass.
- 00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,537 Hello!
- 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,205 Yeah. Are you Mr. Harrison?
- 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,332 I sure am. The -- The name's Gary.
- 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,751 Well, look, my kid was just over at your house and he, uh --
- 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,086 Oh, you're Stan's dad!
- 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,213 It's <i>so</i> nice to finally meet you!
- 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,090 Karen! Mr. Marsh is here!
- 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,883 Uh, look, I just want to tell you that --
- 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,927 Oh, Mr. Marsh! What a treat!
- 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,762 It's so nice to meet you!
- 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,430 Well, thanks. Uh...
- 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,473 Karen just finished baking
- 00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,059 the most amazing Rice Krispie squares.
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,227 With chocolate frosting.
- 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,312 Come on out of the cold. You got to try one.
- 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,982 Or six. [ Laughs ]
- 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:28,318 I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have you over.
- 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,029 I hear you're a geologist. That is so amazing.
- 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:34,199 Look, uh, I actually came over because I'm a little concerned
- 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,493 about some of the things you told my son.
- 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:37,911 Uh-huh. - Uh-huh.
- 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:42,207 You know, about...God and stuff.
- 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,500 Oh.
- 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,587 Oh, boy. Y-You think we were trying to convert him.
- 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:47,421 Well, I --
- 00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:50,090 Oh, Mr. Marsh, I am so sorry.
- 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,800 We just moved here from Utah,
- 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,011 and we're so used to everyone being Mormon that we --
- 00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,179 we forget not everyone wants to hear about it.
- 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,098 Oh, boy. You must be furious.
- 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,350 Well...no. No. I just --
- 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,686 You just heard your son talking about religious ideals
- 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,313 that aren't your own, and you said,
- 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,982 "Who the heck do these people think they are?"
- 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,067 I-I'm really, truly sorry, Mr. Marsh.
- 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,319 It won't happen again.
- 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,654 You can...call me Randy.
- 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,781 Randy, the last thing we want is for people to think
- 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,033 we're pushing our religion.
- 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,701 We know there are a lot of beliefs out there,
- 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,077 and ours just works for us.
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,579 To each his own, right?
- 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,205 Yeah.
- 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,707 Yeah!
- 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,043 You know, to be honest, I've never known any Mormons.
- 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,378 I don't even know what you people believe.
- 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,130 Who was this Joseph Smith guy?
- 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,007 Why did he believe that Native Americans
- 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,509 were actually white people from Jerusalem?
- 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,803 Well, because he found ancient books <i>they</i> had written
- 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:37,971 on gold plates --
- 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,932 right where the angel Moroni said they would be.
- 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,894 [ Up-tempo orchestral music plays ]
- 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,439 I found them! I found them!
- 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,775 You're not gonna believe it, everybody!
- 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:50,942 I found them!
- 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:51,985 Found what?
- 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,280 Another New Testament of Jesus Christ.
- 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,282 - What? - [ Crowd murmuring ]
- 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,369 Last night, a Native American angel told me
- 00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,454 where I could find another testament of Jesus Christ,
- 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,373 so I went out to the woods.
- 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,459 I dug around all morning where the angel had told me to look.
- 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,379 Hmm. Maybe there <i>isn't</i> anything out here.
- 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,589 [ Clink ] Wait a tick. What's this?
- 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,384 Wow.
- 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:19,763 Inside the stone box, I found the magical seer stones.
- 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,057 Under that, I found four gold plates
- 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,975 written in strange writing.
- 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,728 This must be the gospel that Jesus told the Nephites.
- 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,648 Well, they were the most amazing things I had ever gazed upon.
- 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,483 Well, s-so where are they?
- 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,526 Where are what?
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,237 The gold plates and the seer stones. Where are they?
- 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,405 Oh.
- 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,573 Oh. Well, I was not allowed to take them.
- 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,826 You see, after I found the plates,
- 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:43,036 the angel Moroni appeared to me again
- 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,247 and said that I am not allowed to show the plates
- 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:49,209 or the seer stones to anybody, because first I must translate
- 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,044 what's written on the plates into English
- 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,379 so you can all read it.
- 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,297 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,841 Wow! - That's amazing!
- 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,468 [ Crowd murmuring ]
- 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,679 ♪ He found the stones and golden plates ♪
- 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,597 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,891 ♪ Even though nobody else ever saw them ♪
- 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,477 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,021 <i>I have some laundry to do. [Laughter]</i>
- 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,315 <i>I've got to do like your father did.</i>
- 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,359 So, how'd it go, Clubber Lang?
- 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,570 You kick Mr. Harrison's ass?
- 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:17,821 Not exactly.
- 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:21,283 We're, uh, having their family over for dinner tomorrow night.
- 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,118 See? That's what happened to me!
- 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,954 Sharon, did you know this guy Joseph Smith
- 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,749 found a new testament to the Bible buried here in America?
- 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,083 What are you talking about?
- 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,043 Well, it's just that the Harrisons
- 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,336 are really nice people,
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:36,339 and you should see how loving and together their family is.
- 00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,009 I-I think there's something to that religion.
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,552 That's what they made me think, too.
- 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:41,887 All right. That does it.
- 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:45,223 From now on, our family is Mormon!
- 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,519 Hey, Stan, how was your date last night with the new kid?
- 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,271 Shut up, dude. They're a nice family.
- 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,356 Gary is actually really smart and talented.
- 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:56,777 Aww, you guys, I think Stan's in love.
- 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,653 Yeah, did you make out with him, too?
- 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,572 What's the big deal? Can't I have other friends?
- 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,073 You guys should give Gary a chance.
- 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:02,908 Hey, Stan.
- 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,035 Oh, here's Stan's little girlfriend now.
- 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:05,869 Hey, guys.
- 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,996 Stan, I remember you said last night you'd lost your wallet,
- 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,331 so I made you a new one.
- 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,417 I carved a picture of John Elway into the leather on the front.
- 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,919 Wow. You made this?
- 00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,755 Aw, look at them. Aren't they so cute together?
- 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,173 Hey, my family's on their way
- 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,925 over to the fire station to donate blood.
- 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,092 You want to come along?
- 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,260 [ Gags ]
- 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,804 Uh, I don't think so, Gary. I have to, uh --
- 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,514 [ Horn honks ] Here comes my family now!
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:27,766 Hey, guys! - Hey, guys!
- 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:28,683 [ Laughter ]
- 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,727 Look! We painted our faces!
- 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,062 [ Laughter ]
- 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,104 I'm a lion.
- 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,356 I'm an alien.
- 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,900 Hey! Just what the heck am I supposed to be?
- 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,693 [ Laughter ]
- 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,111 My God.
- 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,988 You gonna come with us to the fire station, Stan?
- 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,282 Uh, no. I've got a lot to do.
- 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,118 Well, Gary, you want to just hang out with your friend Stan?
- 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,745 Oh, well, I'd like to, but...
- 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,914 Oh, man, I would miss you guys so much.
- 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,374 We'd miss you, too, Gary.
- 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,251 Oh, we'll all see each other tonight
- 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,002 when we go to Stan's house for dinner.
- 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,671 Stay and play with your friends, Gary.
- 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,673 Yeah! Have a good time, boys.
- 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,299 [ Laughter ]
- 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,717 Let's go!
- 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,470 Our faces are painted! [ Laughs ]
- 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,806 Wow.
- 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:09,599 So, what do you guys want to do?
- 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,018 Uh, that's cool. We're gonna leave you two lovebirds alone.
- 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,395 The three of us have to go put in
- 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,063 some volunteer work at the homeless shelter.
- 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,190 Oh, cool! I'm gonna do that tomorrow.
- 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,401 [ Laughs ] Jesus Christ.
- 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,697 So, hey, I heard your dad came over last night,
- 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,532 and he and my dad talked about Joseph Smith.
- 00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,950 That's great!
- 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,661 Yeah. I had a question about that Joseph Smith guy.
- 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:30,495 Sure.
- 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,956 What happened after he found the golden plates buried in the ground?
- 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,292 Well, he kept them hidden from everyone like he was told,
- 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,168 and then he translated what was written on the plates
- 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,503 into the Book of Mormon.
- 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,255 Yeah, but how?
- 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,340 [ Up-tempo orchestral music plays ]
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,884 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,219 What's this all about, Mr. Smith?
- 00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,513 Mr. Harris, can you keep a secret?
- 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,140 Well, sure, I can.
- 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,058 I have in my possession
- 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,311 an ancient book written on gold plates
- 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,897 that tells of Jesus Christ's second coming --
- 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,773 here, in America!
- 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,901 In America? Really?
- 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,153 That sounds kind of...
- 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,071 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,156 It's true!
- 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:07,782 And I'm going to translate the plates
- 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,036 and publish it into a book for the whole world to read.
- 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,538 Now, I-I know you have a lot of money, Mr. Harris,
- 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,206 and I'm just gonna need a little bit
- 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,750 to pay for the publishing costs.
- 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,084 Mm, I don't know.
- 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,253 How do you expect to translate it?
- 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,963 With these.
- 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,131 Rocks?
- 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,215 They're not rocks.
- 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,801 They're seer stones given to me by an angel.
- 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,511 With them, God allows me
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,221 to translate the plates into English.
- 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:33,850 Watch. You take this quill and paper and write down what I say.
- 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:34,768 Sit here.
- 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,645 I have the golden plates here in this hat.
- 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:37,854 I need to have them somewhere dark
- 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,522 so I can read the spiritual light.
- 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:40,649 R-Really?
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,567 When I put the seer stones into the hat,
- 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,111 the ancient letters light up and change to English,
- 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,947 which I can then read to you.
- 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,615 Wow!
- 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,533 [ Music continues ]
- 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,202 Ooh! I'm seeing the light!
- 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,329 O-Okay. Write this down.
- 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,624 And so it...was...
- 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:01,836 that...Christ appeared before the...
- 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,380 Nephites.
- 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,840 ♪ And that's how the Book of Mormon was written ♪
- 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,717 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:11,805 ♪ Dum da dum dum dum-dum-dum dum da dum dum dum-dum-dum ♪
- 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:16,434 ♪ Dum dum dum-dum-dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,397 One, two, three, four.
- 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,400 "Pay $1,000 property tax."
- 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:26,987 Isn't this great, you guys? Our first family home evening.
- 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,072 I want to watch TV.
- 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,323 We're not watching TV!
- 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,993 We're Mormons now, and we're having family home evening!
- 00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,828 Dad, did you know that Joseph Smith guy
- 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,538 read the Book of Mormon out of a hat?
- 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:37,872 And? Your turn, Sharon.
- 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,457 It's just that the Book of Mormon
- 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,709 says a lot of strange stuff,
- 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,503 like that Adam and Eve lived in Jackson County, Missouri.
- 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,421 Yes?
- 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:45,338 But school taught me
- 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,923 that the first man and woman lived in Africa.
- 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,509 You can't believe everything school tells you, Stan.
- 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,844 Your turn, Shelly.
- 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:51,845 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,055 Ooh! That must be the Harrisons!
- 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,475 Hey, we're here! - Hey, everybody!
- 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,602 Wow! What a great house!
- 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:03,064 You must be Mrs. Marsh! It's so nice to meet you!
- 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,315 And you must be Stan's sister.
- 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,276 Oh, I think your brother's the greatest.
- 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,403 My brother is a stupid turd.
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,530 Hey, Stan! - Hey, Gary.
- 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,449 Well, come on in and sit down, everybody.
- 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,034 You're here just in time.
- 00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,619 My son was having a little problem with our new religion.
- 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:17,454 Dad.
- 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,913 [ Laughing ] Oh, really?
- 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,416 Well, that's just because he hasn't heard the best part
- 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,126 about the Joseph Smith story --
- 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,503 the one that proves he was for real.
- 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,838 [ Cheering, laughter ]
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,256 Ooh. What's that?
- 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,384 Well, you remember Martin Harris, the rich man
- 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,095 who wrote down what Joseph Smith read out of the hat?
- 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:34,721 Yeah.
- 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:37,390 See, after he was done, he took some of the pages
- 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,185 of what would become the Book of Mormon home.
- 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:42,437 ♪ Martin went home to his wife ♪
- 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,230 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,691 ♪ And showed her pages from the Book of Mormon ♪
- 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,902 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,780 A-And so Joseph Smith put his head into a hat
- 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,115 a-and read to me what the golden plates said.
- 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,619 I wrote it all down, and we're gonna publish it into a book.
- 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,747 Martin, how do you know he isn't just making stuff up
- 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:03,625 and pretending he's translating off golden plates?
- 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,710 ♪ Lucy Harris, smart, smart, smart ♪
- 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,754 ♪ Smart, smart, smart, smart, smart ♪
- 00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:09,881 Why would he make it up?
- 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,092 ♪ Martin Harris, dum da dum ♪
- 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,761 All right. Here. I'm gonna hide these pages.
- 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,805 If Joseph Smith really <i>is</i> translating
- 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,140 off of golden plates, he'll be able to do it again.
- 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,267 But if Joseph Smith is making it all up,
- 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,478 the new translations will be different from these.
- 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,021 Okay. Fine.
- 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,815 I bet he'll have no problem.
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,109 ♪ Lucy Harris, smart, smart, smart ♪
- 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,152 ♪ Martin Harris, dum ♪
- 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,113 ♪ So Martin went on back to Smith's ♪
- 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,198 ♪ Said the pages had gone away ♪
- 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:39,494 ♪ Smith got mad and told Martin he needed to go pray ♪
- 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,038 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:45,542 Look, I'm sorry about losing the pages we worked on, Joe,
- 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,293 but I'm ready to write it all down again
- 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,003 if you'd translate from the plates.
- 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:52,590 I would love to, Martin, except...I just had a vision.
- 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,009 And the Lord said he is very angry with me
- 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,553 for letting you take those pages.
- 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,138 [ Gasps ] He is?
- 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,140 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:00,849 Yes.
- 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,601 He is so mad that he will never let me translate
- 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,145 from the plate of Lehi again.
- 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,398 He said we must now translate from the plate of Nephi.
- 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,650 So it will be the same basic story
- 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,193 but written a little differently.
- 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,195 Wow!
- 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,905 If God got angry with you,
- 00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,824 then you must be telling the truth!
- 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,201 ♪ Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ♪
- 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,162 All right, Martin. Let's get to work.
- 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:25,498 [ Music continues ]
- 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,750 And that's how it happened.
- 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,669 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:32,755 Wait.
- 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,549 Mormons actually know this story,
- 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,801 and they still believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?
- 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,387 Well, sure! The story proves it, doesn't it?
- 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,181 No, it proves he <i>did</i> make it all up.
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,182 Are you blind?
- 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,225 Well, Stan, it's all a matter of faith.
- 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,476 No. It's a matter of logic.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,312 If you're gonna say things that have been proven wrong,
- 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,272 like that the first man and woman lived in Missouri
- 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,107 and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem,
- 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,734 then you'd better have something to back it up.
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,903 All you've got are a bunch of stories about some asswipe
- 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,654 who read plates nobody ever saw out of a hat
- 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:59,073 and couldn't do it again when the translations were hidden!
- 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,701 Hey, Stan. Don't denounce our religion.
- 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,578 I don't want to be Mormon, Dad!
- 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,079 Me neither.
- 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,414 That's totally cool, guys.
- 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,832 You can believe whatever you want!
- 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,918 Yeah! It's great you have your own beliefs!
- 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:10,919 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,212 Yay for the Marshes!
- 00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,297 Oh, stop it! That's another thing!
- 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,007 Why do you have to be so freakin' nice all the time?
- 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:16,925 It isn't normal!
- 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,093 You just weasel people into your way of thinking
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,595 by acting like the happiest family in the world
- 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,721 and being so nice to everyone
- 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,474 that you just blindside dumb people like my dad!
- 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,975 Yeah!
- 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,228 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,980 [ Sighs ]
- 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,732 Well, kids...
- 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,817 who's up for a water-balloon fight?!
- 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:35,860 Yeah! - Awesome!
- 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:36,986 All right! - Can't wait!
- 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,488 Water-balloon fight!
- 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,368 Oh, hey, Stan. Where's your best buddy, Gary?
- 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,286 I'm not hanging around that kid anymore.
- 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,163 Oh, no. You guys broke up?
- 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,207 You guys were right, okay? The new kid's a douche.
- 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,043 Now I just got to find a way to keep him away from me.
- 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,836 Hey, Stan. - Oh, brother.
- 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,089 Uh-oh! The jilted lover returns.
- 00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,715 I just wanted to let you know you don't have to worry
- 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,342 about me trying to be your friend anymore.
- 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,301 I don't?
- 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,470 Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories
- 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,846 that make absolutely no sense.
- 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:05,890 And maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up.
- 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,142 But I have a great life and a great family,
- 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,144 and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that.
- 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,022 The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up,
- 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:14,649 because what the church teaches now
- 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,026 is loving your family, being nice, and helping people.
- 00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,570 And even though people in this town might think that's stupid,
- 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,197 I still choose to believe in it.
- 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,449 All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan.
- 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,951 But you're so high and mighty, you couldn't
- 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,661 look past my religion and just be my friend back.
- 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,121 You got a lot of growing up to do, buddy.
- 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,205 Suck my balls.
- 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,041 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,879 Damn. That kid is cool, huh?
Скриншоты
