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Седой рассвет
Grey Dawn
Сезон: 07Серия: 10
Описание
После многочисленных несчастных случаев у пожилых горожан города отбирают водительские права. Организация пенсионеров протестует.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:12,013 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,889 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,683 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,688 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,440 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,818 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,988 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:33,284 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:40,207 Friends, we gather in this place
- 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,835 to mourn the victims of yesterday's tragedy,
- 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,088 nine good people who were run over in the street
- 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,132 by an elderly woman driver.
- 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:51,385 Oh, God, memorial services are so boring.
- 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,596 You insensitive asshole, Cartman!
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,889 Nine people died!
- 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,557 Yeah, but like eight of them were hippies.
- 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,350 Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets.
- 00:00:58,476 --> 00:00:59,435 Mostly.
- 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,021 It is sometimes hard in times like these
- 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,606 to understand God's way.
- 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,483 Why would he allow nine innocent people
- 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,443 to be run down in the prime of their lives
- 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,654 by a senior citizen who perhaps shouldn't be driving?
- 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740 It is then that we must understand
- 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,409 God's sense of humor is very different from our own.
- 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:18,454 He does not laugh at the simple "man walks into a bar" joke.
- 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,538 No.
- 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,457 God needs complex irony
- 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,502 and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me.
- 00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:28,214 All that we can hope for is that God got his good laugh
- 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,925 and a tragedy such as this will never happen again.
- 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,384 Look out!
- 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,931 Ah! Was that a stop sign back there?
- 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:48,400 Oh, I think I hit a pothole.
- 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,446 Hey, Dad, how come they let old people drive?
- 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,950 Well, Stan, it's a very fragile issue.
- 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:57,493 But they kill people.
- 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,994 Sometimes, yes.
- 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,249 But senior citizens have to be dealt with very gingerly, Stan.
- 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:05,334 We can't just take their licenses away.
- 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:09,130 I'll be God damned if they think they can take my license away!
- 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:11,507 Oh, hi, Dad. - I heard what you said!
- 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,593 You want to take driving privileges away from seniors!
- 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,096 Well, let me tell you something, pecker face,
- 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,348 I worked 55 years in a steel mill...
- 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,182 Yes, Dad.
- 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,601 ...and I flew Spitfires over Germany in World War II...
- 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,435 Yes, I know.
- 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,771 ...and I will be God damned if the government thinks
- 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,650 it can step in and take away my right to drive!
- 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,735 I think old people should have rights, Grandpa.
- 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,571 I just don't want to die.
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,209 Damn it, Mona, this isn't the fastest way
- 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,627 to Country Kitchen Buffet.
- 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:52,256 No, but it's the shortest. Save the most gas that way.
- 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,932 You save more gas
- 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,685 if you take the highway to Country Kitchen Buffet!
- 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,897 Less miles means less gas, you old fool.
- 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,153 There's Country Kitchen right there!
- 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,154 Where?
- 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,489 Back there! You're gonna miss it!
- 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,284 Aah!
- 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,539 Is this the parking lot?
- 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,874 I think so.
- 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,755 Another death tonight by senior-citizen motorists.
- 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,090 Carl Zorn of Pine Junction was killed instantly
- 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,052 when struck by a vehicle driven by Pete and Lydia Melman,
- 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,554 who were trying to find Country Kitchen Buffet.
- 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,723 This latest tragedy comes only two days
- 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,391 after the accident in Deer Creek,
- 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,268 where three construction workers in a bulldozer
- 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,854 were run down by senior citizen Paul Thom,
- 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,398 who was trying to find Country Kitchen Buffet.
- 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,859 Public outcry is forcing the DMV to consider
- 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,403 suspending the licenses of all seniors over 70,
- 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,572 though no decision has yet to be made.
- 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,618 Seniors of South Park,
- 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:06,121 I don't know about you, but I am mad as hell.
- 00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:07,122 Yeah!
- 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,666 Yeah!
- 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:13,921 I am sick of having my mental condition come into question.
- 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:14,922 Yeah!
- 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,257 That's right!
- 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:19,301 We need to let everyone know we're pissed off
- 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,096 and we're not gonna take it anymore.
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,097 Hear, hear!
- 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,431 That's right, Pete.
- 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,766 That's right.
- 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,268 Now...
- 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:33,274 can anybody remember what we're pissed off about?
- 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,572 I remember we're all pissed about something.
- 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,449 That's why we had this meeting,
- 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,452 but I can't for the life of me...
- 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,121 Ooh!
- 00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:50,457 Was it the kids skateboarding on the sidewalks?
- 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,293 No.
- 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,377 Oh, I remember.
- 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,337 They're going to take our licenses away!
- 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,214 Yeah! - That's right!
- 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,718 That's right. They're gonna try and take our licenses away.
- 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,470 And I, for one, am mad as hell.
- 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,972 Me too! - Yeah! That's right!
- 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,557 I'm mad, too.
- 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:11,353 I am sick of having my mental condition come into question.
- 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,398 So now what are we gonna do about it?
- 00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:16,650 Do about what?
- 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:19,153 They're gonna take our licenses away.
- 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,822 They are?! They can't do that!
- 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,449 You said it! - You said it!
- 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:24,491 That's right.
- 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,660 So you know what I think we should do?
- 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:30,289 I think we should have a senior-citizens meeting --
- 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:36,045 get all the seniors together at the community center and unite!
- 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,755 Great idea, Marvin.
- 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,258 Wait. I-I think we're having that meeting right now.
- 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,303 Oh. Right. This <i>is</i> the meeting.
- 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,013 Right, to get them damn kids
- 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,015 to stop skateboarding on the sidewalks.
- 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,016 Yeah!
- 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,310 That's right! - This will stop 'em.
- 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,147 Sharon, have you seen Dad?
- 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,315 He's not here, hon.
- 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,442 He's having a meeting with all the seniors in town
- 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,110 at the community center.
- 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,445 Oh.
- 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:02,613 Wait a minute.
- 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,366 If all the seniors in town are at a meeting,
- 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:09,036 that means that when the meeting gets out...
- 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:12,456 Every senior in town will be driving home...
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,000 At the same time.
- 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:19,129 Oh my God.
- 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,799 Get inside!
- 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,467 Get inside!
- 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,763 Seniors meeting getting out! Get off the streets!
- 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,769 All right. Great meeting, everyone.
- 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,854 Let's do it again sometime.
- 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,190 So long, everybody.
- 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,526 Goodbye, Lucy. - See you later.
- 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,444 Goodbye, Bill!
- 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,780 Get off the streets!
- 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,408 Get off the streets!
- 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,451 Old people are driving!
- 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,620 Run! - Run!
- 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,414 Oh my God!
- 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,541 Gerald! Where are the boys?!
- 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:56,875 We've got to get out of here!
- 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,877 The boys, Gerald! Where are they?!
- 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,379 T-They're...
- 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,798 They're playing street hockey!
- 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,801 Oh my God!
- 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,679 With just 10 seconds to go, the offense makes its move.
- 00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:11,056 Marsh heads for the goal and passes the ball to the poor kid.
- 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,558 The poor kid hands it off to the Jew.
- 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:13,767 The Jew shoots! Oh!
- 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,352 And the shot is blocked again,
- 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,188 proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey.
- 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,607 It isn't fair. Cartman's fatter than the goal.
- 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,651 I'm not fat. I just have a sweet hockey body.
- 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,778 Get off the streets!
- 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,905 Get off the streets!
- 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,157 Dude, look.
- 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,910 Get off...the streets!
- 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,996 Get off the streets!
- 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,998 - What is that? - I don't know.
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,374 Get off!
- 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,461 Get! Streets! Off the streets!
- 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,504 Dude, is that your dad? - I think so.
- 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,840 Looks like Stan's dad's been hittin' the bottle again.
- 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,508 Streets!
- 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,760 What is he saying? - I can't understand him.
- 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,387 Aah!
- 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,847 Calm down.
- 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,017 We cannot understand you.
- 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,560 Mrph rm!
- 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,273 Oh, Jesus!
- 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,274 Old people!
- 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,859 Come on!
- 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,447 Oh, God! They're coming!
- 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,991 Get over there. Stay low!
- 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,202 Why are they all out driving at the same time?
- 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,495 Shh!
- 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,086 It's okay, boys. They're gone.
- 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,255 Let's just lay low for a minute until we can find --
- 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,510 I don't remember there being a building here.
- 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,345 Run!
- 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:36,725 I told you to turn left, Larry.
- 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,852 Get up the stairs! Up the stairs!
- 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,479 Come on! Come on!
- 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,189 Aah! There's another one!
- 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:47,319 Excuse me. Is this Costello Avenue?
- 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,739 In here!
- 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,038 They're not gonna stop until we're all dead!
- 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,165 Quiet! Keep quiet!
- 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,291 Dad, I'm scared.
- 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,293 Just keep your voices down.
- 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,753 We'll stay the night in here.
- 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,630 We'll stay the whole winter if we have to.
- 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,006 I'm not staying the winter in this room.
- 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,342 You just need to tell old people they can't drive anymore.
- 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,344 Stan, it's not that simple!
- 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,763 Just relax while I find the lights.
- 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,931 Here we go.
- 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,016 How the hell did we get up here?
- 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,271 I told you this was the wrong way.
- 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,736 Tom, I'm standing outside of the Department of Motor vehicles,
- 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,989 where senior citizens have until 3:00 p.m.
- 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,241 to hand over their driver's licenses.
- 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,410 The new law was passed just three days
- 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,245 after the night of horror
- 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,456 in which all seniors were out driving at the same time,
- 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:45,210 causing 14 deaths and $3 million in damage.
- 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,505 All righty. There we go.
- 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,631 Next.
- 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,384 It ain't right what you're doing.
- 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,303 I never had an accident in my life!
- 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:57,264 That's right. You shouldn't punish all of us.
- 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,266 We're sorry, but this is the only way to be sure.
- 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,267 Next, please.
- 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,893 There we go.
- 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,771 But how am I supposed to get to the grocery store?
- 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,024 Or the pharmacy to buy medicine?
- 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:10,861 Well, maybe you should be in a nursing home, hmm?
- 00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:12,863 Some of us would rather die!
- 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,407 Well, we can certainly help you with that, too.
- 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,576 We aren't second-class citizens.
- 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,410 That's right.
- 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:22,414 You can take our licenses, but you'll never take our pride!
- 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,874 Yeah.
- 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,919 Oh, isn't this great, you guys?
- 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,796 Being able to walk the streets now that old people
- 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,548 are confined to their homes, where they belong.
- 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,051 Billy, get in the car.
- 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:37,179 I need you boys to help me pick up my new Hoveround.
- 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,349 Uh, Grandpa, I don't think you're supposed to be driving.
- 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:41,808 God damn it, Billy!
- 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,685 You're supposed to listen to your dad, right?
- 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,479 Well, I'm your dad's dad!
- 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:48,774 And that means you get in this car before I tan all your hides!
- 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,443 Well, look at it this way.
- 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,612 Statistically speaking, we're safer inside a car
- 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,447 with an old person driving than outside.
- 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,199 My God, he's right.
- 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,244 Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
- 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,038 I shall not walk through the valley of death.
- 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,958 Guys, I don't know if I ever told you this, but...
- 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,711 Well, I love you guys.
- 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,088 Except for you, Kyle.
- 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,715 Okay. All set?
- 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,428 Asshole!
- 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,350 Mrph!
- 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,316 Uh, I think there's a police car behind you, Grandpa.
- 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,984 Huh?
- 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,112 Go around.
- 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,072 Go around, you moron!
- 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,825 Blue Impala, pull your vehicle over.
- 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,702 I believe that's us. Thank God.
- 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,083 Could I see your license, please?
- 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,419 I ain't got one! You peckers took it!
- 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,838 Well, then I'll have to take you to jail.
- 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:56,007 You just try taking me to jail, scrotum head.
- 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,135 You just try.
- 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,887 Stupid son of a --
- 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,431 God damn it.
- 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,599 I've just got him right here, Mr. Marsh.
- 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,934 Oh, brother.
- 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,145 Well, good job, Dad. Look at you now.
- 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:11,648 Oh, God damn it, don't you lecture me, you son of a bitch.
- 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,067 You just had to be so damn stubborn, didn't you?
- 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,903 Now my son is gonna talk to me like I'm 12.
- 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,740 We're not treating you like children, Dad, all right?
- 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,451 Now, I think you owe Mr. Police Officer an apology.
- 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,370 Who needs to apologize, hmm? Who's a sorry-sorry?
- 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,080 Kiss my sagging ass!
- 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,790 Well, fine, I was gonna bail you out,
- 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,460 but maybe you can just sit here and think about what you did.
- 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,295 I won't be sitting here long.
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,964 - 've already called the AARP. - What's that?
- 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,551 The American Association of Retired Persons,
- 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,220 the largest political group in the country.
- 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:45,307 When seniors like me are being discriminated against,
- 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,185 the AARP comes and sets it right.
- 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:51,146 And you're gonna be sorry when they get here.
- 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:56,860 And so you see, children, Genghis Khan was a Mongol,
- 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,946 not to be confused with a mongoloid,
- 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,365 like the actor Nicolas Cage.
- 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:06,161 Okay. Now, who can tell me in what year...
- 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:11,750 the first film... by the mongoloid...
- 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,376 That's odd.
- 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,714 Those ROTC guys are way off course.
- 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,303 More old people!
- 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,722 The American Association of Retired Persons.
- 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,308 Stay in your seats, children. I'll be right back.
- 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:34,064 Set up a perimeter. Bring Bravo team to Point Delta.
- 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,566 Bravo team is go.
- 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,985 Move! Move! Move!
- 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,154 Let's go! Let's go!
- 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,323 Uh, can I help you folks find something?
- 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,247 Old people have gone mad!
- 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,635 Contact!
- 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,137 Put your hands up, young man!
- 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:07,764 Marvin Marsh?
- 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:08,765 Yes?
- 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,726 I'm Bill Stewart, president of the AARP.
- 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,521 We've come to help the seniors in this town fight back.
- 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,022 Oh. It's nice to meet you, Bill.
- 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,065 Huh?!
- 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,900 We came as fast as we could.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,319 We just had to stop by Country Kitchen Buffet first.
- 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,281 It's the nursing home!
- 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,740 Liberate our comrades!
- 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,243 Let's go! - Get out of there!
- 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,744 There, now, Mr. Johnson.
- 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,162 We can go to the cafeteria
- 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,582 and get you some nice cream corn and toast.
- 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,376 Can I help you?
- 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,211 - Help this.
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,880 The revolution is on, brother!
- 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,840 We're taking control of the town!
- 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,384 We are? Well, it's about damn time.
- 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,137 Hey, everyone, we're taking the town.
- 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,556 All right.
- 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:50,682 Oh.
- 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,394 Seniors? We're taking the town over.
- 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,396 The revolution is on!
- 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,064 Oh, the revolution?
- 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,151 Oh, I better get my other sweater.
- 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,738 Mrs. Ryland, seniors are taking over the town.
- 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,072 Would you like a gun?
- 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,158 Oh, I suppose so.
- 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,743 What the hell is going on?
- 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,078 Shut your piehole and get over there.
- 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,039 Randy, what is this?
- 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,542 Huh?! You are now under the authority of the AARP.
- 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,921 Ha! There you go, Mr. Smart Mouth.
- 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,255 Look at you now!
- 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,632 Dad, what are you doing?
- 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,967 The AARP is going to help us take this town
- 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,178 until we get our licenses back!
- 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,431 Yeah. And we're gonna ask for more money in Medicare, too.
- 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,933 That's right. - Yeah!
- 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,601 Have you all got Alzheimer's?
- 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:35,894 They're not gonna listen
- 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,562 to a bunch of whacked-out senior citizens.
- 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,480 Huh?!
- 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,857 We'll tell 'em if they don't give us our demands,
- 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,859 we'll start killing hostages.
- 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,070 Right. They're gonna really believe that.
- 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,406 Isn't that a little extreme, Bill?
- 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,742 Huh?! No. We got to be tough.
- 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,744 Just like with those damn Japs.
- 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,120 This is insane, Dad.
- 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:57,082 You all need to stop right now before more people get hurt.
- 00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,877 The time when you can tell me what to do is over, bucky boy.
- 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,088 <i>We 're</i> in charge now.
- 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,345 All right.
- 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,015 We've got control of the mayor's office and the fire station.
- 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,934 Reinforcements have arrived
- 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,144 from the nursing home in Conifer.
- 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:18,728 Good!
- 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,982 Hell, us senior citizens could take over the entire country.
- 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,942 We've got company.
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,613 Attention, seniors.
- 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,283 Lay down your weapons and turn yourselves over.
- 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:35,328 Mrs. Applegate, show 'em we mean business.
- 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,205 All right.
- 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,498 Ooh!
- 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,083 Aah!
- 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,795 What do you want?
- 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:44,796 Huh?!
- 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,632 We want our licenses back!
- 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,675 Yeah!
- 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,886 That's right. And we want more money in Medicare!
- 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,263 Yeah!
- 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,098 And we want those damn kids
- 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,851 to stop skateboarding on the sidewalks!
- 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,811 Yeah!
- 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:05,734 Hey, Dad.
- 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,861 Stan! Boys! You're safe.
- 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,779 Dad, why is everyone letting the old people do this?
- 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,114 Why doesn't somebody stop them?
- 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,699 They've tried to stop them, son,
- 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,118 but the seniors get up so early in the morning,
- 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,912 they get everything done before everyone else is even awake.
- 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,165 They're saying something about taking over the whole country.
- 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,207 Yes.
- 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,043 And now, seeing how early they get up,
- 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,086 I don't see how anyone can stop them.
- 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,796 Wait a minute. You boys!
- 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,590 You get up almost as early as they do.
- 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,591 You can fight them.
- 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,634 Oh, come on, Dad. Can't you guys do it?
- 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,512 No, son. We...like to sleep in.
- 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,890 Two hostages come front and center!
- 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:37,974 They're coming.
- 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,476 Get out of here before they see you.
- 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,312 Run to the hills and find a way to fight them. Go!
- 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,315 Boys! Avenge me!
- 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,650 Avenge me!
- 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,111 All right. Check it out.
- 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,613 Kenny did reconnaissance on the town.
- 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,823 The old people have blockades here and here.
- 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,326 Old ladies are keeping watch in towers around the perimeter.
- 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,660 The leaders, along with my grandpa,
- 00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,204 are most likely in the mayor's office.
- 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,498 So our only solution is to cut off their life force.
- 00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:02,916 We can't fight them, Cartman.
- 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,584 No, but we can sneak into town
- 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,545 and shut down their food supply -- here.
- 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,047 Country Kitchen Buffet?
- 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,840 Yeah. You take out Country Kitchen Buffet,
- 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,175 and old people won't know what to do.
- 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,635 That's a retarded idea, Cartman.
- 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,804 Is it? Two years ago they closed the Country Kitchen Buffet
- 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,805 in Steamboat Springs,
- 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,390 and all the old people died of starvation in less than a week.
- 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:20,934 Yeah. I remember hearing about that.
- 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:24,270 Even if it could work, how would we go about shutting it down?
- 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,315 I think I have a plan. But we'll have to do it tonight.
- 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,693 We'll start by sneaking into town
- 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:33,029 cleverly disguised as black people.
- 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,948 At 5:45, Kenny and Kyle split off
- 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,950 and set a diversion on the east side of town.
- 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,703 Meanwhile, Stan and I sneak into the mayor's office
- 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:43,248 and steal some of the explosives the old people have stashed.
- 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,917 9:00, we rendezvous at the Country Kitchen Buffet,
- 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,753 where we strap the explosives and the timer to Kyle's chest.
- 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,130 We say our tearful goodbyes to Kyle,
- 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,923 and then we send him inside.
- 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,844 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,428 Mrph rm! - I did it!
- 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,975 Yeah, or we just go to Country Kitchen Buffet
- 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,352 and lock it from the inside so the seniors can't get in.
- 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,980 Well, right. Or we do -- do that.
- 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,108 All right, everyone.
- 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,485 Round up your ammunition and get ready to move.
- 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,696 We're taking this war further out!
- 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,531 All right! - Revolution!
- 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,116 Let's go! - Look, Bob.
- 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,995 Uh, I appreciate what the AARP is trying to do for us,
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,415 but, uh, all we want is our licenses back.
- 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:26,749 Huh?! Heck, no!
- 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:28,418 This is going too well.
- 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,461 We're gonna take the whole country back,
- 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,881 wipe out everyone below the age of 65.
- 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,758 Wipe 'em out? What are you, senile?
- 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,260 Come on, everyone!
- 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,929 It's time to plan phase two!
- 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,932 What the heck?
- 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,852 Huh? What is this?
- 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,563 It's 6:00 a.m. Country Kitchen should be open.
- 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,857 I-It's not open? H-Has to be.
- 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:53,943 Try a window.
- 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,572 They're blocked from the inside!
- 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,573 No.
- 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,242 No. Let us in! Let us in!
- 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,744 Open the doors!
- 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,288 It's 6:00 a.m.! - It's 6:00 a.m.!
- 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,372 We're hungry!
- 00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,208 Open the Country Kitchen Buffet!
- 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,418 You have to let us in!
- 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,514 All right, everyone. Area secure.
- 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,434 Collect their weapons and free the hostages.
- 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,811 That was a great strategy, boys.
- 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:31,564 You may very well have saved this entire country.
- 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,400 What happened? Is it over?
- 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:35,735 Everything is fine.
- 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,029 Control of the town is back to you folks.
- 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:41,032 Country Kitchen. W-What happened?
- 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,533 Sir, what should we do with this one?
- 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,202 It's up to the townspeople.
- 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,746 Well, I think he learned his lesson, huh?
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,498 Don't you feel silly now, Dad?
- 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,583 I think somebody owes us all an apology.
- 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:51,751 Yes, he does.
- 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,003 Oh, stop it, Dad. This is partly your fault.
- 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:54,796 Huh?
- 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,298 All Grandpa wants is not to be talked to like a child.
- 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,800 I think half of what he was angry about
- 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,760 wasn't what you were doing, but how you were doing it.
- 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,220 That's right.
- 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,554 And, Grandpa, you should be proud
- 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,014 you made it though life to be a senior.
- 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,433 But you should also realize that when you get behind the wheel,
- 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:08,518 you're a killing machine.
- 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:09,769 I know.
- 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:12,021 I guess sometimes us seniors need to know
- 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,356 when to stop driving
- 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:16,150 so we don't put the responsibility on our families.
- 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,653 Well, I think this has been a real learning experience
- 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,988 for the Marsh family.
- 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,365 People died, but we all grew a little.
- 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,700 Let's just go home.
- 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,702 Sure. I'll drive.
- 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,037 That's our Grandpa.
- 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,083 Dude, I hate my family.
- 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:12,013 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,889 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,683 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,688 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,440 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,818 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,988 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:33,284 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,621 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:40,207 Friends, we gather in this place
- 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,835 to mourn the victims of yesterday's tragedy,
- 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,088 nine good people who were run over in the street
- 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,132 by an elderly woman driver.
- 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:51,385 Oh, God, memorial services are so boring.
- 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,596 You insensitive asshole, Cartman!
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,889 Nine people died!
- 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,557 Yeah, but like eight of them were hippies.
- 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,350 Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets.
- 00:00:58,476 --> 00:00:59,435 Mostly.
- 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,021 It is sometimes hard in times like these
- 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,606 to understand God's way.
- 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,483 Why would he allow nine innocent people
- 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,443 to be run down in the prime of their lives
- 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,654 by a senior citizen who perhaps shouldn't be driving?
- 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,740 It is then that we must understand
- 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,409 God's sense of humor is very different from our own.
- 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:18,454 He does not laugh at the simple "man walks into a bar" joke.
- 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,538 No.
- 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,457 God needs complex irony
- 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,502 and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me.
- 00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:28,214 All that we can hope for is that God got his good laugh
- 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,925 and a tragedy such as this will never happen again.
- 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,384 Look out!
- 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,844 [Engine revs]
- 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,931 Ah! Was that a stop sign back there?
- 00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:40,851 [Crowd screaming]
- 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:48,400 Oh, I think I hit a pothole.
- 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,446 Hey, Dad, how come they let old people drive?
- 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,950 Well, Stan, it's a very fragile issue.
- 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:57,493 But they kill people.
- 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,994 Sometimes, yes.
- 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,249 But senior citizens have to be dealt with very gingerly, Stan.
- 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:05,334 We can't just take their licenses away.
- 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:09,130 I'll be God damned if they think they can take my license away!
- 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:11,507 Oh, hi, Dad. - I heard what you said!
- 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,593 You want to take driving privileges away from seniors!
- 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,096 Well, let me tell you something, pecker face,
- 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,348 I worked 55 years in a steel mill...
- 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,182 Yes, Dad.
- 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,601 ...and I flew Spitfires over Germany in World War II...
- 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,435 Yes, I know.
- 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,771 ...and I will be God damned if the government thinks
- 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,650 it can step in and take away my right to drive!
- 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,735 I think old people should have rights, Grandpa.
- 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,571 I just don't want to die.
- 00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:35,030 [Reel clicking]
- 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,158 [Humming]
- 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:38,868 [Ominous music plays]
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,209 Damn it, Mona, this isn't the fastest way
- 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,627 to Country Kitchen Buffet.
- 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:52,256 No, but it's the shortest. Save the most gas that way.
- 00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:54,717 [Humming]
- 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,806 [Ominous music continues]
- 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,932 You save more gas
- 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,685 if you take the highway to Country Kitchen Buffet!
- 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,897 Less miles means less gas, you old fool.
- 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,153 There's Country Kitchen right there!
- 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:15,154 Where?
- 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,489 Back there! You're gonna miss it!
- 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:18,824 [Tires screech]
- 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,284 Aah!
- 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,539 Is this the parking lot?
- 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,874 I think so.
- 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,755 Another death tonight by senior-citizen motorists.
- 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,090 Carl Zorn of Pine Junction was killed instantly
- 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,052 when struck by a vehicle driven by Pete and Lydia Melman,
- 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,554 who were trying to find Country Kitchen Buffet.
- 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,723 This latest tragedy comes only two days
- 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,391 after the accident in Deer Creek,
- 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,268 where three construction workers in a bulldozer
- 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,854 were run down by senior citizen Paul Thom,
- 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,398 who was trying to find Country Kitchen Buffet.
- 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,859 Public outcry is forcing the DMV to consider
- 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,403 suspending the licenses of all seniors over 70,
- 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,572 though no decision has yet to be made.
- 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,618 Seniors of South Park,
- 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:06,121 I don't know about you, but I am mad as hell.
- 00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:07,122 Yeah!
- 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,666 Yeah!
- 00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:13,921 I am sick of having my mental condition come into question.
- 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:14,922 Yeah!
- 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,257 That's right!
- 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:19,301 We need to let everyone know we're pissed off
- 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,096 and we're not gonna take it anymore.
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,097 Hear, hear!
- 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,431 That's right, Pete.
- 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,766 That's right.
- 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,268 Now...
- 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:33,274 can anybody remember what we're pissed off about?
- 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,572 I remember we're all pissed about something.
- 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,449 That's why we had this meeting,
- 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,452 but I can't for the life of me...
- 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,121 Ooh!
- 00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:50,457 Was it the kids skateboarding on the sidewalks?
- 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,293 No.
- 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,377 Oh, I remember.
- 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,337 They're going to take our licenses away!
- 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,214 Yeah! - That's right!
- 00:04:57,339 --> 00:05:00,718 That's right. They're gonna try and take our licenses away.
- 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,470 And I, for one, am mad as hell.
- 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,972 Me too! - Yeah! That's right!
- 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,557 I'm mad, too.
- 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:11,353 I am sick of having my mental condition come into question.
- 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,398 So now what are we gonna do about it?
- 00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:16,650 Do about what?
- 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:19,153 They're gonna take our licenses away.
- 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,822 They are?! They can't do that!
- 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,449 You said it! - You said it!
- 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:24,491 That's right.
- 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,660 So you know what I think we should do?
- 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:30,289 I think we should have a senior-citizens meeting --
- 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:36,045 get all the seniors together at the community center and unite!
- 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,755 Great idea, Marvin.
- 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,258 Wait. I-I think we're having that meeting right now.
- 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,303 Oh. Right. This <i>is</i> the meeting.
- 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,013 Right, to get them damn kids
- 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,015 to stop skateboarding on the sidewalks.
- 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,016 Yeah!
- 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,310 That's right! - This will stop 'em.
- 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,147 Sharon, have you seen Dad?
- 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,315 He's not here, hon.
- 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,442 He's having a meeting with all the seniors in town
- 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,110 at the community center.
- 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,445 Oh.
- 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:02,613 Wait a minute.
- 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,366 If all the seniors in town are at a meeting,
- 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:09,036 that means that when the meeting gets out...
- 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:12,456 Every senior in town will be driving home...
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,000 At the same time.
- 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:19,129 [Dramatic music plays] Oh my God.
- 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,799 Get inside!
- 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,467 Get inside!
- 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,763 Seniors meeting getting out! Get off the streets!
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,183 [Crowd screaming]
- 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,769 All right. Great meeting, everyone.
- 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,854 Let's do it again sometime.
- 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,190 So long, everybody. [Engines starting]
- 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,526 Goodbye, Lucy. - See you later.
- 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,444 Goodbye, Bill!
- 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,780 Get off the streets! [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,408 Get off the streets!
- 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,451 Old people are driving!
- 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,620 Run! - Run!
- 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,414 Oh my God!
- 00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,541 Gerald! Where are the boys?!
- 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:56,875 We've got to get out of here!
- 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,877 The boys, Gerald! Where are they?!
- 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,379 T-They're...
- 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,798 They're playing street hockey!
- 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,801 Oh my God!
- 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,679 With just 10 seconds to go, the offense makes its move.
- 00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:11,056 Marsh heads for the goal and passes the ball to the poor kid.
- 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,558 The poor kid hands it off to the Jew.
- 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:13,767 The Jew shoots! Oh!
- 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,352 And the shot is blocked again,
- 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,188 proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey.
- 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,607 It isn't fair. Cartman's fatter than the goal.
- 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,651 I'm not fat. I just have a sweet hockey body.
- 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,778 [Voice in the distance] Get off the streets!
- 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,905 Get off the streets!
- 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,157 Dude, look.
- 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,910 Get off...the streets!
- 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,996 Get off the streets!
- 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,998 - What is that? - I don't know.
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,374 Get off!
- 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,461 Get! Streets! Off the streets!
- 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,504 Dude, is that your dad? - I think so.
- 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,840 Looks like Stan's dad's been hittin' the bottle again.
- 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,508 Streets!
- 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,760 What is he saying? - I can't understand him.
- 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,387 Aah!
- 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,847 Calm down.
- 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,017 We cannot understand you.
- 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,560 Mrph rm!
- 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,563 [Tires screeching]
- 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,273 Oh, Jesus!
- 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,274 Old people!
- 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,859 Come on!
- 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,695 [Ominous music plays]
- 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,447 Oh, God! They're coming!
- 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,991 Get over there. Stay low!
- 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:13,202 Why are they all out driving at the same time?
- 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,495 Shh!
- 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,086 [Exhales deeply] It's okay, boys. They're gone.
- 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,255 Let's just lay low for a minute until we can find --
- 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,548 [Screams]
- 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,510 I don't remember there being a building here.
- 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,345 Run! [Engine starts]
- 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,388 [Screams]
- 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:36,725 I told you to turn left, Larry.
- 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,852 Get up the stairs! Up the stairs!
- 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,479 Come on! Come on!
- 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,189 Aah! There's another one! [Tires screech]
- 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,524 [Screaming]
- 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:47,319 Excuse me. Is this Costello Avenue?
- 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,739 In here!
- 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,866 [Screaming]
- 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,038 They're not gonna stop until we're all dead!
- 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,165 Quiet! Keep quiet!
- 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,291 Dad, I'm scared.
- 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,293 Just keep your voices down.
- 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,753 We'll stay the night in here.
- 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,630 We'll stay the whole winter if we have to.
- 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,006 I'm not staying the winter in this room.
- 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,342 You just need to tell old people they can't drive anymore.
- 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,344 Stan, it's not that simple!
- 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,763 Just relax while I find the lights.
- 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,931 Here we go.
- 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,016 How the hell did we get up here?
- 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,977 [Screaming]
- 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,271 I told you this was the wrong way.
- 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:26,358 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,736 Tom, I'm standing outside of the Department of Motor vehicles,
- 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,989 where senior citizens have until 3:00 p.m.
- 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,241 to hand over their driver's licenses.
- 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,410 The new law was passed just three days
- 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,245 after the night of horror
- 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,456 in which all seniors were out driving at the same time,
- 00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:45,210 causing 14 deaths and $3 million in damage.
- 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,505 All righty. There we go.
- 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,631 Next.
- 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,384 It ain't right what you're doing.
- 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,303 I never had an accident in my life!
- 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:57,264 That's right. You shouldn't punish all of us.
- 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,266 We're sorry, but this is the only way to be sure.
- 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,267 Next, please.
- 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,893 There we go.
- 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,771 But how am I supposed to get to the grocery store?
- 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,024 Or the pharmacy to buy medicine?
- 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:10,861 Well, maybe you should be in a nursing home, hmm?
- 00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:12,863 Some of us would rather die!
- 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,407 Well, we can certainly help you with that, too.
- 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,576 We aren't second-class citizens.
- 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,410 That's right.
- 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:22,414 You can take our licenses, but you'll never take our pride!
- 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,874 Yeah.
- 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,919 Oh, isn't this great, you guys?
- 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,796 Being able to walk the streets now that old people
- 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,548 are confined to their homes, where they belong.
- 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,051 [Horn honks] Billy, get in the car.
- 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:37,179 I need you boys to help me pick up my new Hoveround.
- 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,349 Uh, Grandpa, I don't think you're supposed to be driving.
- 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:41,808 God damn it, Billy!
- 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,685 You're supposed to listen to your dad, right?
- 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,479 Well, I'm your dad's dad!
- 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:48,774 And that means you get in this car before I tan all your hides!
- 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,443 Well, look at it this way.
- 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,612 Statistically speaking, we're safer inside a car
- 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,447 with an old person driving than outside.
- 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,199 My God, he's right.
- 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,244 Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
- 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,038 I shall not walk through the valley of death.
- 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,498 [Groans]
- 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,958 Guys, I don't know if I ever told you this, but...
- 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,711 Well, I love you guys.
- 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,088 Except for you, Kyle.
- 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,715 Okay. All set?
- 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,884 [Horn honks]
- 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,428 Asshole!
- 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,555 [Horns blaring]
- 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:23,350 Mrph!
- 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:24,935 [Tires screech, crash]
- 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,062 [Siren wailing]
- 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,316 Uh, I think there's a police car behind you, Grandpa.
- 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,984 Huh?
- 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,112 Go around.
- 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,072 Go around, you moron!
- 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,825 [Police Announcement] Blue Impala, pull your vehicle over.
- 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,702 I believe that's us. Thank God.
- 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,083 Could I see your license, please?
- 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,419 I ain't got one! You peckers took it!
- 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,838 Well, then I'll have to take you to jail.
- 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:56,007 You just try taking me to jail, scrotum head.
- 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,135 You just try.
- 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,887 Stupid son of a --
- 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,431 God damn it.
- 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,599 I've just got him right here, Mr. Marsh.
- 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,934 Oh, brother.
- 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,145 Well, good job, Dad. Look at you now.
- 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:11,648 Oh, God damn it, don't you lecture me, you son of a bitch.
- 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,067 You just had to be so damn stubborn, didn't you?
- 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,903 Now my son is gonna talk to me like I'm 12.
- 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,740 We're not treating you like children, Dad, all right?
- 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:22,451 Now, I think you owe Mr. Police Officer an apology.
- 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,370 Who needs to apologize, hmm? Who's a sorry-sorry?
- 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,080 Kiss my sagging ass!
- 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,790 Well, fine, I was gonna bail you out,
- 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,460 but maybe you can just sit here and think about what you did.
- 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,295 I won't be sitting here long.
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,964 - 've already called the AARP. - What's that?
- 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,551 The American Association of Retired Persons,
- 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,220 the largest political group in the country.
- 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:45,307 When seniors like me are being discriminated against,
- 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,185 the AARP comes and sets it right.
- 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:51,146 And you're gonna be sorry when they get here.
- 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,689 [Bell rings]
- 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:56,860 And so you see, children, Genghis Khan was a Mongol,
- 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,946 not to be confused with a mongoloid,
- 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,365 like the actor Nicolas Cage.
- 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:06,161 Okay. Now, who can tell me in what year...
- 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:11,750 the first film... by the mongoloid...
- 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,376 That's odd.
- 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,128 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,714 Those ROTC guys are way off course.
- 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,303 More old people!
- 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,722 The American Association of Retired Persons.
- 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,308 Stay in your seats, children. I'll be right back.
- 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,893 [Door closes]
- 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:34,064 Set up a perimeter. Bring Bravo team to Point Delta.
- 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,566 Bravo team is go.
- 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,985 Move! Move! Move!
- 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,154 Let's go! Let's go!
- 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,323 Uh, can I help you folks find something?
- 00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:44,574 [Grunts]
- 00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:47,494 [Gunfire]
- 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,495 [All gasp]
- 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,247 Old people have gone mad!
- 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,008 [Coughing]
- 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,635 Contact!
- 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,137 Put your hands up, young man!
- 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:07,764 Marvin Marsh?
- 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:08,765 Yes?
- 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,726 I'm Bill Stewart, president of the AARP.
- 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,521 We've come to help the seniors in this town fight back.
- 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,022 Oh. It's nice to meet you, Bill.
- 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,065 Huh?!
- 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,900 We came as fast as we could.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,319 We just had to stop by Country Kitchen Buffet first.
- 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,281 It's the nursing home!
- 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,740 Liberate our comrades!
- 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,243 Let's go! - Get out of there!
- 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,744 There, now, Mr. Johnson.
- 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,162 We can go to the cafeteria
- 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,582 and get you some nice cream corn and toast.
- 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,208 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,376 Can I help you?
- 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,211 - Help this. [Grunts]
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,880 The revolution is on, brother!
- 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,840 We're taking control of the town!
- 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,384 We are? Well, it's about damn time.
- 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,137 Hey, everyone, we're taking the town.
- 00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:49,556 All right.
- 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:50,682 Oh.
- 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,394 Seniors? We're taking the town over.
- 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,396 The revolution is on!
- 00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,064 Oh, the revolution?
- 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,151 Oh, I better get my other sweater.
- 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,738 Mrs. Ryland, seniors are taking over the town.
- 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,072 Would you like a gun?
- 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,158 Oh, I suppose so.
- 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,743 What the hell is going on?
- 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,078 Shut your piehole and get over there.
- 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,039 Randy, what is this?
- 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,542 Huh?! You are now under the authority of the AARP.
- 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,921 Ha! There you go, Mr. Smart Mouth.
- 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,255 Look at you now!
- 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,632 Dad, what are you doing?
- 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,967 The AARP is going to help us take this town
- 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,178 until we get our licenses back!
- 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:31,431 Yeah. And we're gonna ask for more money in Medicare, too.
- 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,933 That's right. - Yeah!
- 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,601 Have you all got Alzheimer's?
- 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:35,894 They're not gonna listen
- 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,562 to a bunch of whacked-out senior citizens.
- 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,480 Huh?!
- 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,857 We'll tell 'em if they don't give us our demands,
- 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,859 we'll start killing hostages.
- 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,070 Right. They're gonna really believe that.
- 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,279 [Gunshots, Grunting]
- 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,406 Isn't that a little extreme, Bill?
- 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,742 Huh?! No. We got to be tough.
- 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,744 Just like with those damn Japs.
- 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,120 This is insane, Dad.
- 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:57,082 You all need to stop right now before more people get hurt.
- 00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,877 The time when you can tell me what to do is over, bucky boy.
- 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,088 <i>We 're</i> in charge now.
- 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,345 All right.
- 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,015 We've got control of the mayor's office and the fire station.
- 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,934 Reinforcements have arrived
- 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,144 from the nursing home in Conifer.
- 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:18,728 Good!
- 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:21,982 Hell, us senior citizens could take over the entire country.
- 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,942 We've got company.
- 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,945 [Sirens wailing]
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,613 Attention, seniors.
- 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,283 Lay down your weapons and turn yourselves over.
- 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:35,328 Mrs. Applegate, show 'em we mean business.
- 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,205 All right.
- 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,498 Ooh!
- 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,083 Aah!
- 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,795 What do you want?
- 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:44,796 Huh?!
- 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,632 We want our licenses back!
- 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,675 [All] Yeah!
- 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,886 That's right. And we want more money in Medicare!
- 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,263 [All] Yeah!
- 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,098 And we want those damn kids
- 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,851 to stop skateboarding on the sidewalks!
- 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,811 [All] Yeah!
- 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,604 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,106 [Coughing]
- 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,816 [Sniffles, moans]
- 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:05,734 Hey, Dad.
- 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,861 Stan! Boys! You're safe.
- 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,779 Dad, why is everyone letting the old people do this?
- 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,114 Why doesn't somebody stop them?
- 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,699 They've tried to stop them, son,
- 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,118 but the seniors get up so early in the morning,
- 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,912 they get everything done before everyone else is even awake.
- 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,165 They're saying something about taking over the whole country.
- 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,207 Yes.
- 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,043 And now, seeing how early they get up,
- 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,086 I don't see how anyone can stop them.
- 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,796 Wait a minute. You boys!
- 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,590 You get up almost as early as they do.
- 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,591 You can fight them.
- 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,634 Oh, come on, Dad. Can't you guys do it?
- 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,512 No, son. We...like to sleep in.
- 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,890 Two hostages come front and center!
- 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:37,974 They're coming.
- 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,476 Get out of here before they see you.
- 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,312 Run to the hills and find a way to fight them. Go!
- 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,315 Boys! Avenge me!
- 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,650 Avenge me!
- 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,111 All right. Check it out.
- 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,613 Kenny did reconnaissance on the town.
- 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,823 The old people have blockades here and here.
- 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,326 Old ladies are keeping watch in towers around the perimeter.
- 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,660 The leaders, along with my grandpa,
- 00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,204 are most likely in the mayor's office.
- 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,498 So our only solution is to cut off their life force.
- 00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:02,916 We can't fight them, Cartman.
- 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,584 No, but we can sneak into town
- 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,545 and shut down their food supply -- here.
- 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,047 Country Kitchen Buffet?
- 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,840 Yeah. You take out Country Kitchen Buffet,
- 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,175 and old people won't know what to do.
- 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,635 That's a retarded idea, Cartman.
- 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,804 Is it? Two years ago they closed the Country Kitchen Buffet
- 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,805 in Steamboat Springs,
- 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,390 and all the old people died of starvation in less than a week.
- 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:20,934 Yeah. I remember hearing about that.
- 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:24,270 Even if it could work, how would we go about shutting it down?
- 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,315 I think I have a plan. But we'll have to do it tonight.
- 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,691 [Mid-tempo music plays]
- 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,693 We'll start by sneaking into town
- 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:33,029 cleverly disguised as black people.
- 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,948 At 5:45, Kenny and Kyle split off
- 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,950 and set a diversion on the east side of town.
- 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:38,535 [Steam whistle blows]
- 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,703 Meanwhile, Stan and I sneak into the mayor's office
- 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:43,248 and steal some of the explosives the old people have stashed.
- 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,917 9:00, we rendezvous at the Country Kitchen Buffet,
- 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,753 where we strap the explosives and the timer to Kyle's chest.
- 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,130 We say our tearful goodbyes to Kyle,
- 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,923 and then we send him inside.
- 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,843 [Beep, explosion]
- 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,844 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,428 Mrph rm! - I did it!
- 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,975 Yeah, or we just go to Country Kitchen Buffet
- 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,352 and lock it from the inside so the seniors can't get in.
- 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,980 Well, right. Or we do -- do that.
- 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,108 All right, everyone.
- 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,485 Round up your ammunition and get ready to move.
- 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,696 We're taking this war further out!
- 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,531 All right! - Revolution!
- 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,116 Let's go! - Look, Bob.
- 00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,995 Uh, I appreciate what the AARP is trying to do for us,
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,415 but, uh, all we want is our licenses back.
- 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:26,749 Huh?! Heck, no!
- 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:28,418 This is going too well.
- 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,461 We're gonna take the whole country back,
- 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,881 wipe out everyone below the age of 65.
- 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,758 Wipe 'em out? What are you, senile?
- 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,260 Come on, everyone!
- 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,929 It's time to plan phase two!
- 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,264 [Door rattles]
- 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,932 What the heck?
- 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,852 Huh? What is this?
- 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,563 It's 6:00 a.m. Country Kitchen should be open.
- 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,857 I-It's not open? H-Has to be.
- 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,859 [Door rattling]
- 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:53,943 Try a window.
- 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,445 [Rattling]
- 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,572 They're blocked from the inside!
- 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,573 No.
- 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,242 No. Let us in! Let us in!
- 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,744 Open the doors!
- 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,288 It's 6:00 a.m.! - It's 6:00 a.m.!
- 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,372 We're hungry!
- 00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,208 Open the Country Kitchen Buffet!
- 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,418 You have to let us in!
- 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,295 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,923 [Grunts]
- 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,514 All right, everyone. Area secure.
- 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,434 Collect their weapons and free the hostages.
- 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,811 That was a great strategy, boys.
- 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:31,564 You may very well have saved this entire country.
- 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,400 [Yawns] What happened? Is it over?
- 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:35,735 Everything is fine.
- 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,029 Control of the town is back to you folks.
- 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:41,032 Country Kitchen. W-What happened?
- 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,533 Sir, what should we do with this one?
- 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,202 It's up to the townspeople.
- 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,746 Well, I think he learned his lesson, huh?
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,498 Don't you feel silly now, Dad?
- 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,583 I think somebody owes us all an apology.
- 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:51,751 Yes, he does.
- 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,003 Oh, stop it, Dad. This is partly your fault.
- 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:54,796 Huh?
- 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,298 All Grandpa wants is not to be talked to like a child.
- 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,800 I think half of what he was angry about
- 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,760 wasn't what you were doing, but how you were doing it.
- 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,220 That's right.
- 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,554 And, Grandpa, you should be proud
- 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,014 you made it though life to be a senior.
- 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,433 But you should also realize that when you get behind the wheel,
- 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:08,518 you're a killing machine.
- 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:09,769 I know.
- 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:12,021 I guess sometimes us seniors need to know
- 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,356 when to stop driving
- 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:16,150 so we don't put the responsibility on our families.
- 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,653 Well, I think this has been a real learning experience
- 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,988 for the Marsh family.
- 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,365 People died, but we all grew a little.
- 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,700 Let's just go home.
- 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,702 Sure. I'll drive.
- 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,037 [Laughs] That's our Grandpa.
- 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,206 [Laughter]
- 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,083 Dude, I hate my family.
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