Алчность краснокожего

00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,200

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,836

Wow, dude.

00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,589

Man, Indians have it good, huh?

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,341

Now, Eric, they're called

Native Americans, remember?

00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,843

Show some respect.

00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,928

Welcome to

the Three Feathers Casino.

00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,306

I am your host,

Chief Runs With Premise.

00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,808

Please try your luck

at one of our many games.

00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,143

All right!

Let's go!

00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,271

Hup! I am afraid minors

cannot go onto the casino floor.

00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,815

I'm not a miner, dumbass.

You see a shovel in my hand?

00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,693

You kids can enjoy

our Native American comedy club.

00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,278

All right.

We're gonna hit the tables.

00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,906

Why don't you kids run along

to the comedy club?

00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,284

All right.

Time to win some money!

00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,078

Oh, yeah.

Blackjack table!

00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,621

Welcome to the blackjack table.

00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,665

May luck run through you

like the spirit of the buffalo.

00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,417

Gerald, this is $10 a hand!

00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,710

Relax, sweetie.

00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,504

I know how to count cards.

00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,880

Well, I don't want to play here.

00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,132

Yeah. Come on, Sheila.

Let's go to the nickel slots.

00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,509

Ooh!

The nickel slots!

00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,719

You might win the $30 jackpot!

00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,515

Ah, women, huh?

God, I hate 'em.

00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,392

All right! Time to show

these people how to gamble!

00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,645

Welcome to

the Three Feathers Comedy Club.

00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,315

Please put your hands together

for Johnny Manymoons!

00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,444

What is Native American comedy,

anyway?

00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,447

Thank you.

Thank you.

00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,991

Bear walked into a bar.

00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:59,787

Bear said to deer,

"May I please...

00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,998

...have a drink?"

00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:07,169

And so deer said to bear,

"Why the big pause?"

00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:11,132

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,716

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:17,429

Many moons ago, pony and eagle

walked up to coyote.

00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:21,517

Pony said to coyote,

"I am very mad at eagle.

00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,103

Will you yell at him for me?"

00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:28,149

Coyote said to pony,

"Why can you not yell yourself?"

00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:32,361

And pony replied,

"Because I am a little hoarse."

00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,407

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,369

How's it going, Gerald?

00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,537

Oh, not so good.

00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,039

Yeah. I know what you mean.

I'm down 300 bucks.

00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,749

Yeah.

I'm down $26,000.

00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,794

Yeah. Well, maybe we should --

Wait. $26,000?!

00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,130

I forgot to tell you.

I have a gambling problem.

00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,464

Gerald, $26,000 --

00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,967

Shh! I have to win it back

before Sheila finds out!

00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385

Where did you get

that kind of money?

00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,636

The casino gave me credit.

00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,180

I put the house up

as collateral.

00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,806

But I still have this $10 chip!

00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,725

Dealer 21.

Sorry.

00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,103

That's it.

I'm destitute.

00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,022

Loan me money! You've got

to have money in the cup!

00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,441

W-What's in the cup?

- Just six quarters!

00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,692

Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus.

00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,652

Thank you for playing

at Three Feathers.

00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,113

May your life be filled

with the song of the sparrow.

00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,033

Oh, shove the song

of the sparrow up your ass!

00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,453

How am I gonna tell my family?

00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,163

How do I tell them

that tomorrow,

00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,082

we have to pack up our things

and get out of the house?

00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,459

There's Daddy!

00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,960

Oh, Jesus.

00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,463

Where have you guys been?

We've been looking all over.

00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,756

Yeah. Come on, Dad.

This place sucks!

00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,757

I want to go!

00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,508

Wha-- What did you say?

00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,469

I said I want to leave!

00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,387

Oh!

You want to leave, huh?!

00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,430

Okay.

Fine, Kyle.

00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,599

When we get home,

we'll just pack up our things,

00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,935

load 'em in the car,

and we'll leave!

00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,061

What?

No, no. I mean --

00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,396

No, no, no. If you want to

leave South Park, fine!

00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,190

Tomorrow we're leaving!

00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,524

Gerald, what are you

talking about?

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,444

Oh, you heard him, Sheila.

Kyle wants to leave.

00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,447

Our nice old house doesn't

"interest" Kyle anymore.

00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,325

Well, I'm calling

a moving company right now!

00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,371

Well, you shouldn't be

such a dick, dude.

00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,789

What's wrong with Gerald?

00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,750

He -- He lost his house

to the Native Americans.

00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,626

What?

00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,045

But don't the Native Americans

know he has nowhere else to go?

00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,630

They don't care.

00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,093

Look at them.

00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,304

Small-minded idiots

pouring their life savings away.

00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,599

Their cash flows out of them

like diarrhea from the buffalo.

00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,061

Yes, but we have milked these

simple mountain folk almost dry.

00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,230

If we really want to see

cash flow,

00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,816

we need to bring in city people

from Denver.

00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,359

Yes.

00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:38,028

It is time for us to implement

our plan --

00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:42,366

a superhighway, built from

Denver right to our casino.

00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,035

And what do we do about

the small town of South Park

00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,787

that lies in the highway's way?

00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,163

Simple.

00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:52,126

We buy it...and we demolish it.

00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,795

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,130

Ha ha ha ha!

00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,633

And that's really

all I can tell you.

00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,885

The town of South Park

is going to be leveled

00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,596

in order to make way

for a 12-lane superhighway.

00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,473

But how can they do that?

00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,474

The Native Americans

00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,184

have purchased the land out

from under us.

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,978

Tomorrow they're buying

the last of what they need

00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,396

to have complete ownership.

00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,732

Well, can't we stop them?

Let's call the bank!

00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317

The Native Americans

bought the bank.

00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,152

Oh, my God.

00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,528

Now, look,

it isn't all horrible.

00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,530

The Native Americans are

offering you retail values

00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,531

on your homes.

00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,490

No!

Screw that!

00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,492

We'll just pool

our money together

00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,202

and buy the town ourselves!

00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,662

That's right!

- Yeah!

00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,040

Yeah! Let the South Park people

own South Park!

00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,291

Yeah!

- All right!

00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,959

How much do we have to raise,

Mayor?

00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,086

$300,000.

00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,088

Ooh.

- Oh.

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,633

Oh.

Never mind.

00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,428

How can they do that, huh?

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,305

How can they make us

all move away?

00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,265

Because they're rich,

greedy-ass Indians.

00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,933

Native Americans.

00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:52,144

Our whole town, gone.

00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,855

We've had such great times here.

00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,814

My God!

00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,107

Aah!

- Aah!

00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:57,983

Oh!

00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,324

Aah!

00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,411

We can't let them do it,

you guys!

00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,330

We have to find a way to stop

those Native Americans!

00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,331

Yeah!

00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582

Yeah.

This is our town!

00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,501

We shouldn't have to make

new friends somewhere else.

00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,502

We're a team!

- Yeah!

00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,003

That's right!

- Yeah, that's right!

00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,004

Yeah.

We're a team.

00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,174

We just have to figure out

a way to raise $300,000.

00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,885

Wait a minute!

I've got it, you guys!

00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,054

We can get Kyle infected

with AIDS

00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,514

and then start

a charity organization

00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,099

that we steal money from!

00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,850

Come on!

Let's go!

00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,440

No?

We can't give Kyle AIDS?

00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,442

We need something that will

get us money tomorrow.

00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,278

Hey! I know!

How about a dog parade?

00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,279

Dog parade?

- Yeah.

00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,115

We dress up all our dogs

in little outfits

00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,491

and parade them down the street.

00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,700

It'll be so adorable!

00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,494

How do we make $300,000

doing that?

00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,412

Oh.

00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,580

Well, we could sell tickets

to our moms and dads!

00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457

Our moms and dads are the ones

who need money, Butters!

00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,875

Oh.

00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:02,005

Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh?

Looking a little better now.

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,802

Oh, Gerald, I-I can't watch!

00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,637

How can you do this to people?

00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,766

We're sorry, but if we do not

build a superhighway,

00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,561

our casino might stop seeing

profits.

00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,896

There's more to life

than profits.

00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,440

Like what?

00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,734

Well, like, you know...

Slurpees and stuff.

00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,155

Well, come on, honey.

00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,699

I guess we should start

packing up our things as well.

00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,702

Yeah.

So long, South Park.

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,328

Mom! Dad!

00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,081

We figured out a way

we could raise $300,000!

00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,417

A dog parade?

- No!

00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,252

Stan, we've all tried

to raise money,

00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:43,505

but we only raised $10,000,

and the deadline is tomorrow.

00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,716

I know, so how about we take

the $10,000

00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,092

back to the Indian casino?

00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:47,968

Tell them, Kyle.

00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,637

The odds on a single number

in roulette are 35 to 1.

00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,349

That means with a $10,000 bet,

you win $350,000!

00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,934

Boys, that's ridiculous.

00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,603

Look, we-- we've got

nothing to lose.

00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,938

What do you guys think?

- It's a long shot.

00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:04,234

Yeah, but it's the only shot

we've got to save our town.

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,282

"The residents of South Park

had hoped to raise $300,000

00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,451

but in the end managed to raise

only $10,000.

00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,077

The loss of their town

may be imminent

00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,579

for the poor people

of South Park."

00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,373

Aw, I fink I'm going to cwy!

00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,501

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,379

All right, boys.

You're gonna have to wait here.

00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,547

Dad.

00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,759

Good luck.

00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,386

It's in God's hands now.

00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,306

Stand aside, everyone!

00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,310

What are they doing?

00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,103

We're gonna try to beat you

at your own game,

00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,855

Chief Runs With Premise!

00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,359

$10,000 on 31 black.

00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492

Impossible.

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,203

Come on.

Come on.

00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,266

31...black.

00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,226

Yeah!

- Whoo-hoo!

00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,894

Oh, we did it!

We did it!

00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,521

Oh, my God!

- Oh, this is amazing!

00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,856

We did it!

- No! No!

00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,609

South Park is saved!

00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,154

We have plenty enough

to save our town now!

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,783

Yeah!

But wait. $350,000.

00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,287

That means if we won again,

it would be $12 1/4 million!

00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,707

We could save the town

and be super rich!

00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,835

Oh, hell, yeah!

Let it ride! Let it ride!

00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,504

What the hell are they doing?!

00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,007

Let's go, 31!

Let's see it!

00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,928

2 red.

You lose.

00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,888

Ohh!

00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,015

Damn it!

00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,933

Hm!

00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,394

They -- They had it!

00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,313

They freakin' had it!

00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567

You totally had it.

00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,611

You had enough to save the town

and then some.

00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:11,945

Stan, okay?

00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,531

You just don't understand

the fine points of gambling.

00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,367

You're never supposed to stop

when you're on a winning streak.

00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,077

A winning streak?!

You played one game!

00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,330

Stan, okay?

- What?!

00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,332

All right, Stan.

Okay?

00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,500

You people just got greedy,

like the Native Americans.

00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,129

Hey, mister!

We're not like them, all right?!

00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,256

Now, we may have pie-in-the-sky

dreams once in a while,

00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,884

but we aren't the ones kicking

people out of their homes.

00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,969

So don't you compare us

to those coldhearted,

00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,513

moneygrubbing, evil,

stinky Indians!

00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,350

I'm sorry -- Native Americans.

00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,193

There you are, sir.

There's the check for your home.

00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694

Just sign here and here.

00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,031

Well, this is it, Mr. Slave.

We're officially homeless.

00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,619

Jesus -- Jesus Christ!

00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,205

Dad, what are you doing?

Don't take their dirty money!

00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,748

Stanley, we don't have a choice.

00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,917

The Native Americans own

South Park now.

00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,461

We have to take what they'll

give us for our homes.

00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,172

There you go.

Have a nice day.

00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,966

Come on, you guys.

This is our town!

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,511

It's over, Stanley.

What else can we do?

00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,013

We can stay...and fight.

- Yeah.

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,723

When the Indians

come to tear up our town,

00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016

we kick 'em in the nuts!

00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:23,767

Mrph!

00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,353

Yeah. They don't own our town.

We do!

00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,562

I'm sorry, boys.

00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,398

You just don't understand

economics.

00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,524

It'll be okay, boys.

00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,026

We'll just move

to the next town over.

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:33,985

Oh, sure.

00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,530

Until the Native Americans

decide they want that land, too.

00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,990

What if the Native Americans

just keep building their casinos

00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,159

and their highways until

we have nowhere else to go?

00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,828

We have to stand up to them now!

00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,249

Oh, forget it.

Come on, you guys!

00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,626

You're all a bunch

of goddamn pussies!

00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,142

Get out of our way!

00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,060

No! We won't let you destroy

our town!

00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,229

Boys, it isn't your town

anymore.

00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,148

Just because you have a piece

of paper saying you own it

00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,149

doesn't make it yours.

00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:14,151

We grew up here.

Our parents grew up here.

00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,611

We shop at that Wal-Mart

and eat at that Chili's.

00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,946

We take fish from the streams

00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,906

and bread them and freeze them

to make fish sticks.

00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,451

This is not just a town.

It is our way of life.

00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,203

Well, your way of life

is about to change, little boys.

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,204

Now, move!

00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,665

You can't just roll into places

and take people's lives away!

00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,461

And what are four little boys

going to do to stop us, huh?

00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,047

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,467

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,052

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,971

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,222

♪ We are strong ♪

00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,308

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,769

♪ No one can tell us

we're wrong ♪

00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,062

♪ Bom bom bom-bom,

bom bom bom ♪

00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,690

♪ Searching our hearts

for so lo-o-o-ng ♪

00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,942

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,528

♪ All of us knowing ♪

00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,739

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,658

♪ Love is a battlefield ♪

00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,537

This land is not for sale.

00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,957

Damn it! I thought you said

they were dealt with!

00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:11,958

They were!

00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,210

Sorry, Charlies!

00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,838

You can just keep your filthy

bastard Indian money!

00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,590

Filthy bastard

Native American money.

00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,759

Oh, right.

Sorry about that!

00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:21,927

This isn't over!

00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,813

We'll never give up!

You bastards!

00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,898

Yeah.

South Park is ours!

00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,733

But what do we do now?

00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,278

I mean, we can't just stand here

and block their way forever.

00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,698

We can stand here

as long as it takes.

00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,043

What is the state of our people?

00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,379

Last night, I spoke with

The Spirit of the Bear,

00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382

and Bear said that if we do not

build our superhighway soon,

00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,135

our investors may soon sell off

their shares of the new casino.

00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,472

Yes, and Eagle says the

cumulative shared market loss

00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,809

on the revenue of the new casino

drops 15% every day.

00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,061

Then we must force

the South Park people

00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,271

off their petty land.

00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,106

But they are determined

and proud,

00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,900

and the Spirit of the Wind

has stated that if we use force,

00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,569

it could be

a publicity nightmare,

00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,279

further hurting our net assets.

00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,448

I already have a plan how we

can force them off their land...

00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,449

sneakily.

00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,787

We're going to give them...

blankets!

00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,330

Blankets?

00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,208

Yes. We will present the

blankets as a peace offering.

00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,127

But what the round eyes

will not know

00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,630

is that the blankets

are infected with SARS!

00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,341

They will all get SARS,

00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,386

and then SARS will run through

their town like a buffalo.

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,222

Now, I need your help getting

the SARS onto the blankets.

00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,309

Okay.

Bring them in!

00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,023

Let's see how South Park

deals with this!

00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,154

Everyone, grab a Chinese person

and rub them on a blanket.

00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,490

Make sure you rub them all over!

00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,284

Get the SARS

nice and deep in there.

00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,416

Tom, I'm standing

in chilly South Park, Colorado,

00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543

where the residents

are entering the third day

00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,879

of their sit-in to try

and stop Native Americans

00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,381

from building a superhighway

through their town.

00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,801

The temperature is low,

but spirits are pretty low, too.

00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,015

What do they want?

00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,601

We're not moving, ass-faces!

00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,102

Free blanket?

00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,481

Though we know

we have differences,

00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,524

we believe that a compromise

can be reached.

00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,152

In the meantime, it hurts us

to see you all on television

00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,320

sitting in the cold.

00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,448

Will you not take this offering

as a gesture of goodwill?

00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,244

You had me at "free blanket."

00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,375

Free blanket?

Free blanket?

00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,626

Blanket?

00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,711

Tom, it now looks

as if the Native Americans

00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,172

are handing out blankets

as a sign of goodwill

00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,715

towards the South Park people.

00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,717

What an incredible display

of compassion.

00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,971

I certainly hope there's

nothing sinister behind it.

00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,473

Please, as a token

of good faith.

00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,768

You understand if I'm

a little wary of trusting you.

00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,354

It is only a blanket, Mr. Marsh.

00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,314

Well, thanks.

00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,818

Oh.

You're welcome.

00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,322

Tom, it's Tuesday morning now,

00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,324

and the outbreak of SARS

in South Park

00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,867

has reached epic proportions.

00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,829

The entire town

has been quarantined

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,331

by the federal government,

nobody allowed in or out,

00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,875

which means nobody can come

to our aid.

00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,131

It appears this town

and this reporter are done for.

00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,633

Coming up next -- choosing

the right hair conditioner.

00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,301

What you don't know

about hair-care products

00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,512

could be costing you a bundle.

00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,850

It's all right, Dad.

00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560

How's your...mother?

00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,479

She's hanging in there.

Here. Drink some beer.

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,817

It's cool on my tongue.

00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152

You're gonna be all right.

00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:10,739

Stanley, listen to me.

I have SARS.

00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,409

There's only a 98% chance

that I will live.

00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,493

No, Dad!

No!

00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,828

Listen, Stan!

00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,205

SARS is destroying our people.

00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,541

The Native Americans put it

in the blankets they gave us.

00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,211

Soon there will be

only 98% of us left.

00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881

What can I do?

00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:31,426

You...must find a cure

for SARS, son,

00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,053

and save our people.

00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,305

Cure SARS?

Aw, Jesus!

00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,641

The spirit of middle-class white

people is strong in you, Stan.

00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895

Seek out the wise man

in Bellocreek.

00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,897

Now, go!

Go!

00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,618

What?

00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,745

Hey, my name's Stan,

and I was --

00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622

Your coming was foretold to me.

00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,499

You've come to save our people.

00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:03,541

Come in.

00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,793

Watch the cats.

00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,212

Uh, so, do you know

how to cure SARS?

00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,049

Me?

No. I am just a guide.

00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,050

Sit down.

00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:14,385

You must find the answer

yourself

00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,304

by taking an inward journey.

00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,515

An inward journey?

That sounds kind of gay.

00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,685

Let the voices of our ancestors

show you the way.

00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,980

Breathe.

Breathe from the bag of visions.

00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,695

Ugh!

Oh, dude!

00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,283

How much longer must we wait

for our superhighway?

00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,577

SARS has spread throughout

the entire town of South Park,

00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:40,703

Chief Runs With Premise.

00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,330

Their wills will break soon.

00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,207

Then I suppose

we must be patient.

00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,376

Runs With Premise,

come quickly!

00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,585

What is the matter, wife?

00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,671

It is our son,

Premise Running Thin.

00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,922

He is very sick!

00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,344

Premise Running Thin,

what is the matter?

00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,264

He -- He shared a glass with

one of the people from China.

00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,682

He has SARS.

00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,226

No!

I told you not to touch them!

00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270

Papa.

Papa.

00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,981

I have given him herbs

from the desert plant

00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,275

and water from the cactus

of life,

00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,027

but nothing seems to be working.

00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,863

This would not have happened

00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,157

if those townspeople

would have just moved away!

00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,324

No more waiting around.

00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,660

Tomorrow we begin

the final stage of our plan --

00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,787

shock and awe!

00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,586

Dad! Dad!

00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,795

Stanley!

00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,339

Did you have an inward journey

with the old man?

00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,549

Did you have a vision?

00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,718

I don't know if I did or not.

I-I saw something.

00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,719

Someone spoke to me

00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,680

and told me the middle-class

white way to cure SARS --

00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,266

Campbell's chicken noodle soup,

DayQuil, and Sprite.

00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,435

Yes.

Yes. Of course.

00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,729

Quickly, Stan!

We must give it to everyone.

00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,322

Boy, that really did the trick,

Stan.

00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,490

I thought we were kind of

sort of not really done for!

00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,784

Thanks to you,

we're all safe now, Stan.

00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,912

Aah!

00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,751

Now I will blow your weak,

SARS-infested bodies

00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,877

off the earth!

00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,215

What the...

00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,344

Wait a minute.

Stop! Stop!

00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,598

Your -- Your SARS --

Where did it go?

00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,391

We have cured ourselves

00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,394

using the medicines

of our culture.

00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,857

My son, Premise Running Thin,

has the SARS as well.

00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,526

You -- You can cure him?

00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784

It is amazing.

00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,328

All our plants and herbs

failed to heal him.

00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,746

But your people's remedy

00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,624

brings the spirit of the buffalo

back into his heart.

00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,127

Perhaps there are many things we

can learn from your way of life.

00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,295

We're a simple people.

00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,756

All we want is to be allowed

to live our lives.

00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591

You have cured

Premise Running Thin.

00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:03,471

In return, I shall give you all

$5 credit at the casino.

00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,640

All right.

All right.

00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,767

I will not build a superhighway

through your town,

00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,686

and you can

all have your homes back.

00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,229

All right!

- Yeah!

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,146

Whoo-hoo!

00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,439

Well, I guess we all learned

00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,483

that South Park

is more than just a town.

00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,111

It's a community

that nobody can split up.

00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,533

Dude, who the hell are you?

00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:25,243

Alex.

00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,995

Alex Glick?

00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,831

I got to come on

and do the guest-voice thingy.

00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,208

What?!

Get the hell out of here!

00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,252

Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!

Hi, Jill!

00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,200

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,246

[Native American music plays]

00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,836

Wow, dude.

00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,589

Man, Indians have it good, huh?

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,341

Now, Eric, they're called

Native Americans, remember?

00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,843

Show some respect.

00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,928

Welcome to

the Three Feathers Casino.

00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,306

I am your host,

Chief Runs With Premise.

00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,808

Please try your luck

at one of our many games.

00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,143

All right!

Let's go!

00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,271

Hup! I am afraid minors

cannot go onto the casino floor.

00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,815

I'm not a miner, dumbass.

You see a shovel in my hand?

00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,693

You kids can enjoy

our Native American comedy club.

00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,278

All right.

We're gonna hit the tables.

00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,906

Why don't you kids run along

to the comedy club?

00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,284

All right.

Time to win some money!

00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,078

Oh, yeah.

Blackjack table!

00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,621

Welcome to the blackjack table.

00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,665

May luck run through you

like the spirit of the buffalo.

00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,417

Gerald, this is $10 a hand!

00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,710

Relax, sweetie.

00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,504

[Whispering]

I know how to count cards.

00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,880

Well, I don't want to play here.

00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,132

Yeah. Come on, Sheila.

Let's go to the nickel slots.

00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,509

Ooh!

The nickel slots!

00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,719

You might win the $30 jackpot!

00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,012

[Both snickering]

00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,515

Ah, women, huh?

God, I hate 'em.

00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,392

All right! Time to show

these people how to gamble!

00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,645

Welcome to

the Three Feathers Comedy Club.

00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,315

Please put your hands together

for Johnny Manymoons!

00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,858

[Applause]

00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,444

What is Native American comedy,

anyway?

00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,447

Thank you.

Thank you.

00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,991

Bear walked into a bar.

00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:59,787

Bear said to deer,

"May I please...

00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,998

...have a drink?"

00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:07,169

And so deer said to bear,

"Why the big pause?"

00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,420

[Thumping]

00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:11,132

[Chanting]

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,716

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:17,429

Many moons ago, pony and eagle

walked up to coyote.

00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:21,517

Pony said to coyote,

"I am very mad at eagle.

00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,103

Will you yell at him for me?"

00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:28,149

Coyote said to pony,

"Why can you not yell yourself?"

00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:32,361

And pony replied,

"Because I am a little hoarse."

00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,821

[Thumping]

00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,407

[Chanting]

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,369

How's it going, Gerald?

00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,537

Oh, not so good.

00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,039

Yeah. I know what you mean.

I'm down 300 bucks.

00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,749

Yeah.

I'm down $26,000.

00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,794

Yeah. Well, maybe we should --

Wait. $26,000?!

00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,130

I forgot to tell you.

I have a gambling problem.

00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,464

Gerald, $26,000 --

00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,967

Shh! I have to win it back

before Sheila finds out!

00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385

Where did you get

that kind of money?

00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,636

The casino gave me credit.

00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,180

I put the house up

as collateral.

00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,806

But I still have this $10 chip!

00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,725

Dealer 21.

Sorry.

00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,103

That's it.

I'm destitute.

00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,022

Loan me money! You've got

to have money in the cup!

00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,441

W-What's in the cup?

- Just six quarters!

00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,692

Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus.

00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,652

Thank you for playing

at Three Feathers.

00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,113

May your life be filled

with the song of the sparrow.

00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,033

Oh, shove the song

of the sparrow up your ass!

00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,743

[Insects chirping]

00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,453

How am I gonna tell my family?

00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,163

How do I tell them

that tomorrow,

00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,082

we have to pack up our things

and get out of the house?

00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,459

There's Daddy!

00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,960

Oh, Jesus.

00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,463

Where have you guys been?

We've been looking all over.

00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,756

Yeah. Come on, Dad.

This place sucks!

00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,757

I want to go!

00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,508

Wha-- What did you say?

00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,469

I said I want to leave!

00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,387

Oh!

You want to leave, huh?!

00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,430

Okay.

Fine, Kyle.

00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,599

When we get home,

we'll just pack up our things,

00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,935

load 'em in the car,

and we'll leave!

00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,061

What?

No, no. I mean --

00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,396

No, no, no. If you want to

leave South Park, fine!

00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,190

Tomorrow we're leaving!

00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,524

Gerald, what are you

talking about?

00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,444

Oh, you heard him, Sheila.

Kyle wants to leave.

00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,447

Our nice old house doesn't

"interest" Kyle anymore.

00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,325

Well, I'm calling

a moving company right now!

00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,371

Well, you shouldn't be

such a dick, dude.

00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,789

What's wrong with Gerald?

00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,750

He -- He lost his house

to the Native Americans.

00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,626

What?

00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,045

But don't the Native Americans

know he has nowhere else to go?

00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,630

They don't care.

00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,882

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,093

Look at them.

00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,304

Small-minded idiots

pouring their life savings away.

00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,599

Their cash flows out of them

like diarrhea from the buffalo.

00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,061

Yes, but we have milked these

simple mountain folk almost dry.

00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,230

If we really want to see

cash flow,

00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,816

we need to bring in city people

from Denver.

00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,359

Yes.

00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:38,028

It is time for us to implement

our plan --

00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:42,366

a superhighway, built from

Denver right to our casino.

00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,035

And what do we do about

the small town of South Park

00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,787

that lies in the highway's way?

00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,163

Simple.

00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:52,126

We buy it...and we demolish it.

00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,795

[Chanting] Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,130

[Chanting]

Ha ha ha ha!

00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,633

And that's really

all I can tell you.

00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,885

The town of South Park

is going to be leveled

00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,596

in order to make way

for a 12-lane superhighway.

00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,473

But how can they do that?

00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,474

The Native Americans

00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,184

have purchased the land out

from under us.

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,978

Tomorrow they're buying

the last of what they need

00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,396

to have complete ownership.

00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,732

Well, can't we stop them?

Let's call the bank!

00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317

The Native Americans

bought the bank.

00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,152

Oh, my God.

00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,528

Now, look,

it isn't all horrible.

00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,530

The Native Americans are

offering you retail values

00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,531

on your homes.

00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,490

No!

Screw that!

00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,492

We'll just pool

our money together

00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,202

and buy the town ourselves!

00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,662

That's right!

- Yeah!

00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,040

Yeah! Let the South Park people

own South Park!

00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,291

Yeah!

- All right!

00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,959

How much do we have to raise,

Mayor?

00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,086

$300,000.

00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,088

[Inhales sharply] Ooh.

- Oh.

00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,798

[Crowd murmuring]

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,633

Oh.

Never mind.

00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,428

How can they do that, huh?

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,305

How can they make us

all move away?

00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,265

Because they're rich,

greedy-ass Indians.

00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,933

Native Americans.

00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:52,144

Our whole town, gone.

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,855

We've had such great times here.

00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,814

My God!

00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,107

Aah!

- Aah!

00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:57,983

Oh!

00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,860

[Crowd screaming]

00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,236

[Roars]

00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,613

[Crowd screaming]

00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,281

[Indistinct shouting]

00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,324

Aah!

00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,700

[ Screeches ]

00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:07,993

[Birds chirping]

00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,411

We can't let them do it,

you guys!

00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,330

We have to find a way to stop

those Native Americans!

00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,331

[All]

Yeah!

00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582

Yeah.

This is our town!

00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,501

We shouldn't have to make

new friends somewhere else.

00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,502

We're a team!

- Yeah!

00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,003

That's right!

- Yeah, that's right!

00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,004

Yeah.

We're a team.

00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,174

We just have to figure out

a way to raise $300,000.

00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,885

Wait a minute!

I've got it, you guys!

00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,054

We can get Kyle infected

with AIDS

00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,514

and then start

a charity organization

00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,099

that we steal money from!

00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,850

Come on!

Let's go!

00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,019

[Birds chirping]

00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,440

No?

We can't give Kyle AIDS?

00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,442

We need something that will

get us money tomorrow.

00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,278

Hey! I know!

How about a dog parade?

00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,279

Dog parade?

- Yeah.

00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,115

We dress up all our dogs

in little outfits

00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,491

and parade them down the street.

00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,700

It'll be so adorable!

00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,494

How do we make $300,000

doing that?

00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,412

Oh.

00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,580

Well, we could sell tickets

to our moms and dads!

00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457

Our moms and dads are the ones

who need money, Butters!

00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,875

Oh.

00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:02,005

Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh?

Looking a little better now.

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,802

Oh, Gerald, I-I can't watch!

00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,637

How can you do this to people?

00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,766

We're sorry, but if we do not

build a superhighway,

00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,561

our casino might stop seeing

profits.

00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,896

There's more to life

than profits.

00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,440

Like what?

00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,734

Well, like, you know...

Slurpees and stuff.

00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,155

Well, come on, honey.

00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,699

I guess we should start

packing up our things as well.

00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,702

Yeah.

So long, South Park.

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,328

Mom! Dad!

00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,081

We figured out a way

we could raise $300,000!

00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,417

A dog parade?

- No!

00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,252

Stan, we've all tried

to raise money,

00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:43,505

but we only raised $10,000,

and the deadline is tomorrow.

00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,716

I know, so how about we take

the $10,000

00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,092

back to the Indian casino?

00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:47,968

Tell them, Kyle.

00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,637

The odds on a single number

in roulette are 35 to 1.

00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,349

That means with a $10,000 bet,

you win $350,000!

00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,934

Boys, that's ridiculous.

00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,603

Look, we-- we've got

nothing to lose.

00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,938

What do you guys think?

- It's a long shot.

00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:04,234

Yeah, but it's the only shot

we've got to save our town.

00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,653

[Insects chirping]

00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,282

"The residents of South Park

had hoped to raise $300,000

00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,451

but in the end managed to raise

only $10,000.

00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,077

The loss of their town

may be imminent

00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,579

for the poor people

of South Park."

00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,373

[Baby talk]

Aw, I fink I'm going to cwy!

00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,501

[Chanting]

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,379

All right, boys.

You're gonna have to wait here.

00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,547

Dad.

00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,759

Good luck.

00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,386

It's in God's hands now.

00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,306

Stand aside, everyone!

00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,310

What are they doing?

00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,103

We're gonna try to beat you

at your own game,

00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,855

Chief Runs With Premise!

00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,359

$10,000 on 31 black.

00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,818

[Crowd gasps]

00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492

Impossible.

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,203

Come on.

Come on.

00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,251

[Dramatic music plays]

00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,266

31...black.

00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,226

Yeah!

- Whoo-hoo!

00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,894

Oh, we did it!

We did it!

00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,521

Oh, my God!

- Oh, this is amazing!

00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,856

We did it!

- No! No!

00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,233

[Cheering]

00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,609

South Park is saved!

00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,154

We have plenty enough

to save our town now!

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,783

Yeah!

But wait. $350,000.

00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,287

That means if we won again,

it would be $12 1/4 million!

00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,329

[Crowd gasps]

00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,707

We could save the town

and be super rich!

00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,835

Oh, hell, yeah!

Let it ride! Let it ride!

00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,378

[Crowd cheering]

00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,504

What the hell are they doing?!

00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,007

Let's go, 31!

Let's see it!

00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,928

2 red.

You lose.

00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,888

[All]

Ohh!

00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,015

Damn it!

00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,933

Hm!

00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,394

They -- They had it!

00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,313

They freakin' had it!

00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567

You totally had it.

00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,611

You had enough to save the town

and then some.

00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:11,945

Stan, okay?

00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,531

You just don't understand

the fine points of gambling.

00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,367

You're never supposed to stop

when you're on a winning streak.

00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,077

A winning streak?!

You played one game!

00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,330

Stan, okay?

- What?!

00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,332

All right, Stan.

Okay?

00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,500

You people just got greedy,

like the Native Americans.

00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:26,710

[Tires screech]

00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,129

Hey, mister!

We're not like them, all right?!

00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,256

Now, we may have pie-in-the-sky

dreams once in a while,

00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,884

but we aren't the ones kicking

people out of their homes.

00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,969

So don't you compare us

to those coldhearted,

00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,513

moneygrubbing, evil,

stinky Indians!

00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,350

I'm sorry -- Native Americans.

00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:46,063

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,193

There you are, sir.

There's the check for your home.

00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694

Just sign here and here.

00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,031

Well, this is it, Mr. Slave.

We're officially homeless.

00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,491

[Sobbing]

00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,619

Jesus -- Jesus Christ!

00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,205

Dad, what are you doing?

Don't take their dirty money!

00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,748

Stanley, we don't have a choice.

00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,917

The Native Americans own

South Park now.

00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,461

We have to take what they'll

give us for our homes.

00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,172

There you go.

Have a nice day.

00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,966

Come on, you guys.

This is our town!

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,511

It's over, Stanley.

What else can we do?

00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,013

We can stay...and fight.

- Yeah.

00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,723

When the Indians

come to tear up our town,

00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016

we kick 'em in the nuts!

00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:23,767

Mrph!

00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,353

Yeah. They don't own our town.

We do!

00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,562

I'm sorry, boys.

00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,398

You just don't understand

economics.

00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,524

It'll be okay, boys.

00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,026

We'll just move

to the next town over.

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:33,985

Oh, sure.

00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,530

Until the Native Americans

decide they want that land, too.

00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,990

What if the Native Americans

just keep building their casinos

00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,159

and their highways until

we have nowhere else to go?

00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,828

We have to stand up to them now!

00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,249

Oh, forget it.

Come on, you guys!

00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,626

You're all a bunch

of goddamn pussies!

00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,630

[Men chanting]

00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,142

Get out of our way!

00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,060

No! We won't let you destroy

our town!

00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,229

Boys, it isn't your town

anymore.

00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,148

Just because you have a piece

of paper saying you own it

00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,149

doesn't make it yours.

00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:14,151

We grew up here.

Our parents grew up here.

00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,611

We shop at that Wal-Mart

and eat at that Chili's.

00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,946

We take fish from the streams

00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,906

and bread them and freeze them

to make fish sticks.

00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,451

This is not just a town.

It is our way of life.

00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,203

Well, your way of life

is about to change, little boys.

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,204

Now, move!

00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,665

You can't just roll into places

and take people's lives away!

00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,461

And what are four little boys

going to do to stop us, huh?

00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,047

[All]

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,467

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,052

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,971

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,222

♪ We are strong ♪

00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,308

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,769

♪ No one can tell us

we're wrong ♪

00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,062

♪ Bom bom bom-bom,

bom bom bom ♪

00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,690

♪ Searching our hearts

for so lo-o-o-ng ♪

00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,942

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,528

♪ All of us knowing ♪

00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,739

♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪

00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,658

♪ Love is a battlefield ♪

00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:04,910

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,537

This land is not for sale.

00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,957

Damn it! I thought you said

they were dealt with!

00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:11,958

They were!

00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,210

Sorry, Charlies!

00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,838

You can just keep your filthy

bastard Indian money!

00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,590

Filthy bastard

Native American money.

00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,759

Oh, right.

Sorry about that!

00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:21,927

This isn't over!

00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,346

[Men chanting]

00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,723

[Trucks beeping]

00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,813

We'll never give up!

You bastards!

00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,898

Yeah.

South Park is ours!

00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,733

But what do we do now?

00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,278

I mean, we can't just stand here

and block their way forever.

00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,698

We can stand here

as long as it takes.

00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,043

What is the state of our people?

00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,379

Last night, I spoke with

The Spirit of the Bear,

00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382

and Bear said that if we do not

build our superhighway soon,

00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,135

our investors may soon sell off

their shares of the new casino.

00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,472

Yes, and Eagle says the

cumulative shared market loss

00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,809

on the revenue of the new casino

drops 15% every day.

00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,061

Then we must force

the South Park people

00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,271

off their petty land.

00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,106

But they are determined

and proud,

00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,900

and the Spirit of the Wind

has stated that if we use force,

00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,569

it could be

a publicity nightmare,

00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,279

further hurting our net assets.

00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,448

I already have a plan how we

can force them off their land...

00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,449

sneakily.

00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,787

We're going to give them...

blankets!

00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,330

Blankets?

00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,208

Yes. We will present the

blankets as a peace offering.

00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,127

But what the round eyes

will not know

00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,630

is that the blankets

are infected with SARS!

00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,341

They will all get SARS,

00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,386

and then SARS will run through

their town like a buffalo.

00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,222

Now, I need your help getting

the SARS onto the blankets.

00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,309

Okay.

Bring them in!

00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:55,395

[Men speaking Chinese]

00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,023

Let's see how South Park

deals with this!

00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,526

[Man shouting in Chinese]

00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,154

Everyone, grab a Chinese person

and rub them on a blanket.

00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,906

[Men speaking Chinese]

00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,490

Make sure you rub them all over!

00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,284

Get the SARS

nice and deep in there.

00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,329

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,416

Tom, I'm standing

in chilly South Park, Colorado,

00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543

where the residents

are entering the third day

00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,879

of their sit-in to try

and stop Native Americans

00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,381

from building a superhighway

through their town.

00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,801

The temperature is low,

but spirits are pretty low, too.

00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,015

What do they want?

00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,601

We're not moving, ass-faces!

00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,102

Free blanket?

00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,481

Though we know

we have differences,

00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,524

we believe that a compromise

can be reached.

00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,152

In the meantime, it hurts us

to see you all on television

00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,320

sitting in the cold.

00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,448

Will you not take this offering

as a gesture of goodwill?

00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,241

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,244

You had me at "free blanket."

00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,375

Free blanket?

Free blanket?

00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,626

Blanket?

00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,711

Tom, it now looks

as if the Native Americans

00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,172

are handing out blankets

as a sign of goodwill

00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,715

towards the South Park people.

00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,717

What an incredible display

of compassion.

00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,971

I certainly hope there's

nothing sinister behind it.

00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,473

Please, as a token

of good faith.

00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,768

You understand if I'm

a little wary of trusting you.

00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,354

It is only a blanket, Mr. Marsh.

00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,314

Well, thanks.

00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,818

Oh.

You're welcome.

00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,529

[Coughing, groaning]

00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,322

Tom, it's Tuesday morning now,

00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,324

and the outbreak of SARS

in South Park

00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,867

has reached epic proportions.

00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,035

[Coughs, sniffles]

00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,829

The entire town

has been quarantined

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,331

by the federal government,

nobody allowed in or out,

00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,875

which means nobody can come

to our aid.

00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:41,876

[Sniffles]

00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,131

It appears this town

and this reporter are done for.

00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,633

Coming up next -- choosing

the right hair conditioner.

00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,301

What you don't know

about hair-care products

00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,512

could be costing you a bundle.

00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,682

[Down-tempo music plays]

[Coughing]

00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,850

It's all right, Dad.

00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560

[Weakly]

How's your...mother?

00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,479

She's hanging in there.

Here. Drink some beer.

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,817

It's cool on my tongue.

00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152

You're gonna be all right.

00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:10,739

Stanley, listen to me.

I have SARS.

00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,409

There's only a 98% chance

that I will live.

00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,493

No, Dad!

No!

00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,828

Listen, Stan!

00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,205

SARS is destroying our people.

00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,541

The Native Americans put it

in the blankets they gave us.

00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,625

[Coughs]

00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,211

Soon there will be

only 98% of us left.

00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,212

[Groans]

00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881

What can I do?

00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:31,426

You...must find a cure

for SARS, son,

00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,053

and save our people.

00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,305

Cure SARS?

Aw, Jesus!

00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,641

The spirit of middle-class white

people is strong in you, Stan.

00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895

Seek out the wise man

in Bellocreek.

00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,897

Now, go!

Go!

00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,408

[Knock on door]

00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,618

What?

00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,745

Hey, my name's Stan,

and I was --

00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622

Your coming was foretold to me.

00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,499

You've come to save our people.

00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:03,541

Come in.

00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,793

Watch the cats.

[Cats meowing]

00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,212

Uh, so, do you know

how to cure SARS?

00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,049

Me? [Chuckles]

No. I am just a guide.

00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,050

Sit down.

00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:14,385

You must find the answer

yourself

00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,304

by taking an inward journey.

00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,515

An inward journey?

That sounds kind of gay.

00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,685

Let the voices of our ancestors

show you the way.

00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,980

Breathe.

Breathe from the bag of visions.

00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,317

[Inhales deeply]

00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,695

Ugh!

Oh, dude!

00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,283

How much longer must we wait

for our superhighway?

00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,577

SARS has spread throughout

the entire town of South Park,

00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:40,703

Chief Runs With Premise.

00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,330

Their wills will break soon.

00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,207

Then I suppose

we must be patient.

00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,376

Runs With Premise,

come quickly!

00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,585

What is the matter, wife?

00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,671

It is our son,

Premise Running Thin.

00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,922

He is very sick!

00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,134

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,344

Premise Running Thin,

what is the matter?

00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,264

He -- He shared a glass with

one of the people from China.

00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,682

He has SARS.

00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,226

No!

I told you not to touch them!

00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270

Papa.

Papa.

00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,981

I have given him herbs

from the desert plant

00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,275

and water from the cactus

of life,

00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,027

but nothing seems to be working.

00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,863

This would not have happened

00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,157

if those townspeople

would have just moved away!

00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,324

No more waiting around.

00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,660

Tomorrow we begin

the final stage of our plan --

00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,787

shock and awe!

00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,165

[Moaning, coughing]

00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,586

Dad! Dad!

00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,795

Stanley!

[Coughs]

00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,339

Did you have an inward journey

with the old man?

00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,549

Did you have a vision?

00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,718

I don't know if I did or not.

I-I saw something.

00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,719

Someone spoke to me

00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,680

and told me the middle-class

white way to cure SARS --

00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,266

Campbell's chicken noodle soup,

DayQuil, and Sprite.

00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,435

Yes.

Yes. Of course.

00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,729

Quickly, Stan!

We must give it to everyone.

00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,357

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,322

Boy, that really did the trick,

Stan.

00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,490

I thought we were kind of

sort of not really done for!

00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,784

Thanks to you,

we're all safe now, Stan.

00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,912

Aah!

00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,751

Now I will blow your weak,

SARS-infested bodies

00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,877

off the earth!

00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,963

[Engines rumbling]

00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,215

What the...

00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,344

Wait a minute.

Stop! Stop!

00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,598

Your -- Your SARS --

Where did it go?

00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,391

We have cured ourselves

00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,394

using the medicines

of our culture.

00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,857

My son, Premise Running Thin,

has the SARS as well.

00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,526

You -- You can cure him?

00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784

It is amazing.

00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,328

All our plants and herbs

failed to heal him.

00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,746

But your people's remedy

00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,624

brings the spirit of the buffalo

back into his heart.

00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,127

Perhaps there are many things we

can learn from your way of life.

00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,295

We're a simple people.

00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,756

All we want is to be allowed

to live our lives.

00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591

You have cured

Premise Running Thin.

00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:03,471

In return, I shall give you all

$5 credit at the casino.

00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,640

All right.

All right.

00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,767

I will not build a superhighway

through your town,

00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,686

and you can

all have your homes back.

00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,229

All right!

- Yeah!

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,146

Whoo-hoo!

00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,439

Well, I guess we all learned

00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,483

that South Park

is more than just a town.

00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,111

It's a community

that nobody can split up.

00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,533

Dude, who the hell are you?

00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:25,243

Alex.

00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,995

Alex Glick?

00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,831

I got to come on

and do the guest-voice thingy.

00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,208

What?!

Get the hell out of here!

00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,252

Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!

Hi, Jill!