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Алчность краснокожего
Red Man's Greed
Сезон: 07Серия: 07
Описание
Индейцы скупают город и собираются строить на его месте шоссе. Жители против, и индейцы заражают их атипичной пневмонией. Стэн пытается найти от неё лекарство.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,200 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,836 Wow, dude.
- 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,589 Man, Indians have it good, huh?
- 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,341 Now, Eric, they're called Native Americans, remember?
- 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,843 Show some respect.
- 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,928 Welcome to the Three Feathers Casino.
- 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,306 I am your host, Chief Runs With Premise.
- 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,808 Please try your luck at one of our many games.
- 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,143 All right! Let's go!
- 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,271 Hup! I am afraid minors cannot go onto the casino floor.
- 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,815 I'm not a miner, dumbass. You see a shovel in my hand?
- 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,693 You kids can enjoy our Native American comedy club.
- 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,278 All right. We're gonna hit the tables.
- 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,906 Why don't you kids run along to the comedy club?
- 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,284 All right. Time to win some money!
- 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,078 Oh, yeah. Blackjack table!
- 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,621 Welcome to the blackjack table.
- 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,665 May luck run through you like the spirit of the buffalo.
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,417 Gerald, this is $10 a hand!
- 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,710 Relax, sweetie.
- 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,504 I know how to count cards.
- 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,880 Well, I don't want to play here.
- 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,132 Yeah. Come on, Sheila. Let's go to the nickel slots.
- 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,509 Ooh! The nickel slots!
- 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,719 You might win the $30 jackpot!
- 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,515 Ah, women, huh? God, I hate 'em.
- 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,392 All right! Time to show these people how to gamble!
- 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,645 Welcome to the Three Feathers Comedy Club.
- 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,315 Please put your hands together for Johnny Manymoons!
- 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,444 What <i>is</i> Native American comedy, anyway?
- 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,447 Thank you. Thank you.
- 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,991 Bear walked into a bar.
- 00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:59,787 Bear said to deer, "May I please...
- 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,998 ...have a drink?"
- 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:07,169 And so deer said to bear, "Why the big <i>pause</i>?"
- 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:11,132 Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,716 Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:17,429 Many moons ago, pony and eagle walked up to coyote.
- 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:21,517 Pony said to coyote, "I am very mad at eagle.
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,103 Will you yell at him for me?"
- 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:28,149 Coyote said to pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?"
- 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:32,361 And pony replied, "Because I am a little <i>hoarse."</i>
- 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,407 Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,369 How's it going, Gerald?
- 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,537 Oh, not so good.
- 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,039 Yeah. I know what you mean. I'm down 300 bucks.
- 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,749 Yeah. I'm down $26,000.
- 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,794 Yeah. Well, maybe we should -- Wait. $26,000?!
- 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,130 I forgot to tell you. I have a gambling problem.
- 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,464 Gerald, $26,000 --
- 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,967 Shh! I have to win it back before Sheila finds out!
- 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385 Where did you get that kind of money?
- 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,636 The casino gave me credit.
- 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,180 I put the house up as collateral.
- 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,806 But I still have this $10 chip!
- 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,725 Dealer 21. Sorry.
- 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,103 That's it. I'm destitute.
- 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,022 Loan me money! You've got to have money in the cup!
- 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,441 W-What's in the cup? - Just six quarters!
- 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,692 Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.
- 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,652 Thank you for playing at Three Feathers.
- 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,113 May your life be filled with the song of the sparrow.
- 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,033 Oh, shove the song of the sparrow up your ass!
- 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,453 How am I gonna tell my family?
- 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,163 How do I tell them that tomorrow,
- 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,082 we have to pack up our things and get out of the house?
- 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,459 There's Daddy!
- 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,960 Oh, Jesus.
- 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,463 Where have you guys been? We've been looking all over.
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,756 Yeah. Come on, Dad. This place sucks!
- 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,757 I want to go!
- 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,508 Wha-- What did you say?
- 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,469 I said I want to leave!
- 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,387 Oh! You want to leave, huh?!
- 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,430 Okay. Fine, Kyle.
- 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,599 When we get home, we'll just pack up our things,
- 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,935 load 'em in the car, and we'll leave!
- 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,061 What? No, no. I mean --
- 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,396 No, no, no. If you want to leave South Park, fine!
- 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,190 Tomorrow we're leaving!
- 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,524 Gerald, what are you talking about?
- 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,444 Oh, you heard him, Sheila. Kyle wants to leave.
- 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,447 Our nice old house doesn't "interest" Kyle anymore.
- 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,325 Well, I'm calling a moving company right now!
- 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,371 Well, you shouldn't be such a dick, dude.
- 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,789 What's wrong with Gerald?
- 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,750 He -- He lost his house to the Native Americans.
- 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,626 What?
- 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,045 But don't the Native Americans know he has nowhere else to go?
- 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,630 They don't care.
- 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,093 Look at them.
- 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,304 Small-minded idiots pouring their life savings away.
- 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,599 Their cash flows out of them like diarrhea from the buffalo.
- 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,061 Yes, but we have milked these simple mountain folk almost dry.
- 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,230 If we really want to see cash flow,
- 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,816 we need to bring in city people from Denver.
- 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,359 Yes.
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:38,028 It is time for us to implement our plan --
- 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:42,366 a superhighway, built from Denver right to our casino.
- 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,035 And what do we do about the small town of South Park
- 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,787 that lies in the highway's way?
- 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,163 Simple.
- 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:52,126 We buy it...and we demolish it.
- 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,795 Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,130 Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,633 And that's really all I can tell you.
- 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,885 The town of South Park is going to be leveled
- 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,596 in order to make way for a 12-lane superhighway.
- 00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,473 But how can they do that?
- 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,474 The Native Americans
- 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,184 have purchased the land out from under us.
- 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,978 Tomorrow they're buying the last of what they need
- 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,396 to have complete ownership.
- 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,732 Well, can't we stop them? Let's call the bank!
- 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317 The Native Americans bought the bank.
- 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,152 Oh, my God.
- 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,528 Now, look, it isn't all horrible.
- 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,530 The Native Americans are offering you retail values
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,531 on your homes.
- 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,490 No! Screw that!
- 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,492 We'll just pool our money together
- 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,202 and buy the town ourselves!
- 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,662 That's right! - Yeah!
- 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,040 Yeah! Let the South Park people own South Park!
- 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,291 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,959 How much do we have to raise, Mayor?
- 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,086 $300,000.
- 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,088 Ooh. - Oh.
- 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,633 Oh. Never mind.
- 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,428 How can they do that, huh?
- 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,305 How can they make us all move away?
- 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,265 Because they're rich, greedy-ass Indians.
- 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,933 Native Americans.
- 00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:52,144 Our whole town, gone.
- 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,855 We've had such great times here.
- 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,814 My God!
- 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,107 Aah! - Aah!
- 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:57,983 Oh!
- 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,324 Aah!
- 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,411 We can't let them do it, you guys!
- 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,330 We have to find a way to stop those Native Americans!
- 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,331 Yeah!
- 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582 Yeah. This is our town!
- 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,501 We shouldn't have to make new friends somewhere else.
- 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,502 We're a team! - Yeah!
- 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,003 That's right! - Yeah, that's right!
- 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,004 Yeah. We're a team.
- 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,174 We just have to figure out a way to raise $300,000.
- 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,885 Wait a minute! I've got it, you guys!
- 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,054 We can get Kyle infected with AIDS
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,514 and then start a charity organization
- 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,099 that we steal money from!
- 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,850 Come on! Let's go!
- 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,440 No? We can't give Kyle AIDS?
- 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,442 We need something that will get us money tomorrow.
- 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,278 Hey! I know! How about a dog parade?
- 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,279 Dog parade? - Yeah.
- 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,115 We dress up all our dogs in little outfits
- 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,491 and parade them down the street.
- 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,700 It'll be so adorable!
- 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,494 How do we make $300,000 doing that?
- 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,412 Oh.
- 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,580 Well, we could sell tickets to our moms and dads!
- 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457 Our moms and dads are the ones who need money, Butters!
- 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,875 Oh.
- 00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:02,005 Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh? Looking a little better now.
- 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,802 Oh, Gerald, I-I can't watch!
- 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,637 How can you do this to people?
- 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,766 We're sorry, but if we do not build a superhighway,
- 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,561 our casino might stop seeing profits.
- 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,896 There's more to life than profits.
- 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,440 Like what?
- 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,734 Well, like, you know... Slurpees and stuff.
- 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,155 Well, come on, honey.
- 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,699 I guess we should start packing up our things as well.
- 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,702 Yeah. So long, South Park.
- 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,328 Mom! Dad!
- 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,081 We figured out a way we could raise $300,000!
- 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,417 A dog parade? - No!
- 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,252 Stan, we've all tried to raise money,
- 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:43,505 but we only raised $10,000, and the deadline is tomorrow.
- 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,716 I know, so how about we take the $10,000
- 00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,092 back to the Indian casino?
- 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:47,968 Tell them, Kyle.
- 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,637 The odds on a single number in roulette are 35 to 1.
- 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,349 That means with a $10,000 bet, you win $350,000!
- 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,934 Boys, that's ridiculous.
- 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,603 Look, we-- we've got nothing to lose.
- 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,938 What do you guys think? - It's a long shot.
- 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:04,234 Yeah, but it's the only shot we've got to save our town.
- 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,282 "The residents of South Park had hoped to raise $300,000
- 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,451 but in the end managed to raise only $10,000.
- 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,077 The loss of their town may be imminent
- 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,579 for the poor people of South Park."
- 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,373 Aw, I fink I'm going to cwy!
- 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,501 Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,379 All right, boys. You're gonna have to wait here.
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,547 Dad.
- 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,759 Good luck.
- 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,386 It's in God's hands now.
- 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,306 Stand aside, everyone!
- 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,310 What are they doing?
- 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,103 We're gonna try to beat you at your own game,
- 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,855 Chief Runs With Premise!
- 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,359 $10,000 on 31 black.
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492 Impossible.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,203 Come on. Come on.
- 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,266 31...black.
- 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,226 Yeah! - Whoo-hoo!
- 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,894 Oh, we did it! We did it!
- 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,521 Oh, my God! - Oh, this is amazing!
- 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,856 We did it! - No! No!
- 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,609 South Park is saved!
- 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,154 We have plenty enough to save our town now!
- 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,783 Yeah! But wait. $350,000.
- 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,287 That means if we won again, it would be $12 1/4 million!
- 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,707 We could save the town <i>and</i> be super rich!
- 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,835 Oh, hell, yeah! Let it ride! Let it ride!
- 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,504 What the hell are they doing?!
- 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,007 Let's go, 31! Let's see it!
- 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,928 2 red. You lose.
- 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,888 Ohh!
- 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,015 Damn it!
- 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,933 Hm!
- 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,394 They -- They had it!
- 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,313 They freakin' had it!
- 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567 You totally had it.
- 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,611 You had enough to save the town and then some.
- 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:11,945 Stan, okay?
- 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,531 You just don't understand the fine points of gambling.
- 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,367 You're never supposed to stop when you're on a winning streak.
- 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,077 A winning streak?! You played one game!
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,330 Stan, okay? - What?!
- 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,332 All right, Stan. Okay?
- 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,500 You people just got greedy, like the Native Americans.
- 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,129 Hey, mister! We're not like them, all right?!
- 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,256 Now, we may have pie-in-the-sky dreams once in a while,
- 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,884 but we aren't the ones kicking people out of their homes.
- 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,969 So don't you compare us to those coldhearted,
- 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,513 moneygrubbing, evil, stinky Indians!
- 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,350 I'm sorry -- Native Americans.
- 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,193 There you are, sir. There's the check for your home.
- 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694 Just sign here and here.
- 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,031 Well, this is it, Mr. Slave. We're officially homeless.
- 00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,619 Jesus -- Jesus Christ!
- 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,205 Dad, what are you doing? Don't take their dirty money!
- 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,748 Stanley, we don't have a choice.
- 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,917 The Native Americans own South Park now.
- 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,461 We have to take what they'll give us for our homes.
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,172 There you go. Have a nice day.
- 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,966 Come on, you guys. This is our town!
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,511 It's over, Stanley. What else can we do?
- 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,013 We can stay...and fight. - Yeah.
- 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,723 When the Indians come to tear up our town,
- 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016 we kick 'em in the nuts!
- 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:23,767 Mrph!
- 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,353 Yeah. They don't own our town. We do!
- 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,562 I'm sorry, boys.
- 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,398 You just don't understand economics.
- 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,524 It'll be okay, boys.
- 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,026 We'll just move to the next town over.
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:33,985 Oh, sure.
- 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,530 Until the Native Americans decide they want <i>that</i> land, too.
- 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,990 What if the Native Americans just keep building their casinos
- 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,159 and their highways until we have nowhere else to go?
- 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,828 We have to stand up to them now!
- 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,249 Oh, forget it. Come on, you guys!
- 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,626 You're all a bunch of goddamn pussies!
- 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,142 Get out of our way!
- 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,060 No! We won't let you destroy our town!
- 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,229 Boys, it isn't your town anymore.
- 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,148 Just because you have a piece of paper saying you own it
- 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,149 doesn't make it yours.
- 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:14,151 We grew up here. Our parents grew up here.
- 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,611 We shop at that Wal-Mart and eat at that Chili's.
- 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,946 We take fish from the streams
- 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,906 and bread them and freeze them to make fish sticks.
- 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,451 This is not just a town. It is our way of life.
- 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,203 Well, your way of life is about to change, little boys.
- 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,204 Now, move!
- 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,665 You can't just roll into places and take people's lives away!
- 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,461 And what are four little boys going to do to stop us, huh?
- 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,047 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,467 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,052 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,971 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,222 ♪ We are strong ♪
- 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,308 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,769 ♪ No one can tell us we're wrong ♪
- 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,062 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,690 ♪ Searching our hearts for so lo-o-o-ng ♪
- 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,942 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,528 ♪ All of us knowing ♪
- 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,739 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,658 ♪ Love is a battlefield ♪
- 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,537 This land is not for sale.
- 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,957 Damn it! I thought you said they were dealt with!
- 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:11,958 They were!
- 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,210 Sorry, Charlies!
- 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,838 You can just keep your filthy bastard Indian money!
- 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,590 Filthy bastard <i>Native American</i> money.
- 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,759 Oh, right. Sorry about that!
- 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:21,927 This isn't over!
- 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,813 We'll never give up! You bastards!
- 00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,898 Yeah. South Park is ours!
- 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,733 But what do we do now?
- 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,278 I mean, we can't just stand here and block their way forever.
- 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,698 We can stand here as long as it takes.
- 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,043 What is the state of our people?
- 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,379 Last night, I spoke with The Spirit of the Bear,
- 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382 and Bear said that if we do not build our superhighway soon,
- 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,135 our investors may soon sell off their shares of the new casino.
- 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,472 Yes, and Eagle says the cumulative shared market loss
- 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,809 on the revenue of the new casino drops 15% every day.
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,061 Then we must force the South Park people
- 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,271 off their petty land.
- 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,106 But they are determined and proud,
- 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,900 and the Spirit of the Wind has stated that if we use force,
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,569 it could be a publicity nightmare,
- 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,279 further hurting our net assets.
- 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,448 I already have a plan how we can force them off their land...
- 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,449 sneakily.
- 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,787 We're going to give them... blankets!
- 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,330 Blankets?
- 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,208 Yes. We will present the blankets as a peace offering.
- 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,127 But what the round eyes will not know
- 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,630 is that the blankets are infected with SARS!
- 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,341 They will all get SARS,
- 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,386 and then SARS will run through their town like a buffalo.
- 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,222 Now, I need your help getting the SARS onto the blankets.
- 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,309 Okay. Bring them in!
- 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,023 Let's see how South Park deals with <i>this!</i>
- 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,154 Everyone, grab a Chinese person and rub them on a blanket.
- 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,490 Make sure you rub them all over!
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,284 Get the SARS nice and deep in there.
- 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,416 Tom, I'm standing in chilly South Park, Colorado,
- 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543 where the residents are entering the third day
- 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,879 of their sit-in to try and stop Native Americans
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,381 from building a superhighway through their town.
- 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,801 The temperature is low, but spirits are pretty low, too.
- 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,015 What do <i>they</i> want?
- 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,601 We're not moving, ass-faces!
- 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,102 Free blanket?
- 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,481 Though we know we have differences,
- 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,524 we believe that a compromise can be reached.
- 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,152 In the meantime, it hurts us to see you all on television
- 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,320 sitting in the cold.
- 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,448 Will you not take this offering as a gesture of goodwill?
- 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,244 You had me at "free blanket."
- 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,375 Free blanket? Free blanket?
- 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,626 Blanket?
- 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,711 Tom, it now looks as if the Native Americans
- 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,172 are handing out blankets as a sign of goodwill
- 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,715 towards the South Park people.
- 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,717 What an incredible display of compassion.
- 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,971 I certainly hope there's nothing sinister behind it.
- 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,473 Please, as a token of good faith.
- 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,768 You understand if I'm a little wary of trusting you.
- 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,354 It is only a blanket, Mr. Marsh.
- 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,314 Well, thanks.
- 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,818 Oh. You're welcome.
- 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,322 Tom, it's Tuesday morning now,
- 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,324 and the outbreak of SARS in South Park
- 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,867 has reached epic proportions.
- 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,829 The entire town has been quarantined
- 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,331 by the federal government, nobody allowed in or out,
- 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,875 which means nobody can come to our aid.
- 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,131 It appears this town and this reporter are done for.
- 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,633 Coming up next -- choosing the right hair conditioner.
- 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,301 What you don't know about hair-care products
- 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,512 could be costing you a bundle.
- 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,850 It's all right, Dad.
- 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560 How's your...mother?
- 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,479 She's hanging in there. Here. Drink some beer.
- 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,817 It's cool on my tongue.
- 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152 You're gonna be all right.
- 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:10,739 Stanley, listen to me. I have SARS.
- 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,409 There's only a 98% chance that I will live.
- 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,493 No, Dad! No!
- 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,828 Listen, Stan!
- 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,205 SARS is destroying our people.
- 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,541 The Native Americans put it in the blankets they gave us.
- 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,211 Soon there will be only 98% of us left.
- 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881 What can I do?
- 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:31,426 You...must find a cure for SARS, son,
- 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,053 and save our people.
- 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,305 Cure SARS? Aw, Jesus!
- 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,641 The spirit of middle-class white people is strong in you, Stan.
- 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895 Seek out the wise man in Bellocreek.
- 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,897 Now, go! Go!
- 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,618 What?
- 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,745 Hey, my name's Stan, and I was --
- 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622 Your coming was foretold to me.
- 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,499 You've come to save our people.
- 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:03,541 Come in.
- 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,793 Watch the cats.
- 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,212 Uh, so, do you know how to cure SARS?
- 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,049 Me? No. I am just a guide.
- 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,050 Sit down.
- 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:14,385 You must find the answer yourself
- 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,304 by taking an inward journey.
- 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,515 An inward journey? That sounds kind of gay.
- 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,685 Let the voices of our ancestors show you the way.
- 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,980 Breathe. Breathe from the bag of visions.
- 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,695 Ugh! Oh, dude!
- 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,283 How much longer must we wait for our superhighway?
- 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,577 SARS has spread throughout the entire town of South Park,
- 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:40,703 Chief Runs With Premise.
- 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,330 Their wills will break soon.
- 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,207 Then I suppose we must be patient.
- 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,376 Runs With Premise, come quickly!
- 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,585 What is the matter, wife?
- 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,671 It is our son, Premise Running Thin.
- 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,922 He is very sick!
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,344 Premise Running Thin, what is the matter?
- 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,264 He -- He shared a glass with one of the people from China.
- 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,682 He has SARS.
- 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,226 No! I told you not to touch them!
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270 Papa. Papa.
- 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,981 I have given him herbs from the desert plant
- 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,275 and water from the cactus of life,
- 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,027 but nothing seems to be working.
- 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,863 This would not have happened
- 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,157 if those townspeople would have just moved away!
- 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,324 No more waiting around.
- 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,660 Tomorrow we begin the final stage of our plan --
- 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,787 shock and awe!
- 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,586 Dad! Dad!
- 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,795 Stanley!
- 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,339 Did you have an inward journey with the old man?
- 00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,549 Did you have a vision?
- 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,718 I don't know if I did or not. I-I saw something.
- 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,719 Someone spoke to me
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,680 and told me the middle-class white way to cure SARS --
- 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,266 Campbell's chicken noodle soup, DayQuil, and Sprite.
- 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,435 Yes. Yes. Of course.
- 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,729 Quickly, Stan! We must give it to everyone.
- 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,322 Boy, that really did the trick, Stan.
- 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,490 I thought we were kind of sort of not really done for!
- 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,784 Thanks to you, we're all safe now, Stan.
- 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,912 Aah!
- 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,751 Now I will blow your weak, SARS-infested bodies
- 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,877 off the earth!
- 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,215 What the...
- 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,344 Wait a minute. Stop! Stop!
- 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,598 Your -- Your SARS -- Where did it go?
- 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,391 We have cured ourselves
- 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,394 using the medicines of our culture.
- 00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,857 My son, Premise Running Thin, has the SARS as well.
- 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,526 You -- You can cure him?
- 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784 It is amazing.
- 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,328 All our plants and herbs failed to heal him.
- 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,746 But your people's remedy
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,624 brings the spirit of the buffalo back into his heart.
- 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,127 Perhaps there are many things we can learn from your way of life.
- 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,295 We're a simple people.
- 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,756 All we want is to be allowed to live our lives.
- 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591 You have cured Premise Running Thin.
- 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:03,471 In return, I shall give you all $5 credit at the casino.
- 00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,640 All right. All right.
- 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,767 I will not build a superhighway through your town,
- 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,686 and you can all have your homes back.
- 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,229 All right! - Yeah!
- 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,146 Whoo-hoo!
- 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,439 Well, I guess we all learned
- 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,483 that South Park is more than just a town.
- 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,111 It's a community that nobody can split up.
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,533 Dude, who the hell <i>are</i> you?
- 00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:25,243 Alex.
- 00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,995 Alex Glick?
- 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,831 I got to come on and do the guest-voice thingy.
- 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,208 What?! Get the hell out of here!
- 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,252 Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Hi, Jill!
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,904 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:33,200 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,246 [Native American music plays]
- 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,836 Wow, dude.
- 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,589 Man, Indians have it good, huh?
- 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,341 Now, Eric, they're called Native Americans, remember?
- 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,843 Show some respect.
- 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,928 Welcome to the Three Feathers Casino.
- 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,306 I am your host, Chief Runs With Premise.
- 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,808 Please try your luck at one of our many games.
- 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,143 All right! Let's go!
- 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,271 Hup! I am afraid minors cannot go onto the casino floor.
- 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,815 I'm not a miner, dumbass. You see a shovel in my hand?
- 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,693 You kids can enjoy our Native American comedy club.
- 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,278 All right. We're gonna hit the tables.
- 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,906 Why don't you kids run along to the comedy club?
- 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,284 All right. Time to win some money!
- 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,078 Oh, yeah. Blackjack table!
- 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,621 Welcome to the blackjack table.
- 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:21,665 May luck run through you like the spirit of the buffalo.
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,417 Gerald, this is $10 a hand!
- 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,710 Relax, sweetie.
- 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,504 [Whispering] I know how to count cards.
- 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:27,880 Well, I don't want to play here.
- 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,132 Yeah. Come on, Sheila. Let's go to the nickel slots.
- 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,509 Ooh! The nickel slots!
- 00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,719 You might win the $30 jackpot!
- 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,012 [Both snickering]
- 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,515 Ah, women, huh? God, I hate 'em.
- 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,392 All right! Time to show these people how to gamble!
- 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,645 Welcome to the Three Feathers Comedy Club.
- 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,315 Please put your hands together for Johnny Manymoons!
- 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,858 [Applause]
- 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,444 What <i>is</i> Native American comedy, anyway?
- 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,447 Thank you. Thank you.
- 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,991 Bear walked into a bar.
- 00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:59,787 Bear said to deer, "May I please...
- 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,998 ...have a drink?"
- 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:07,169 And so deer said to bear, "Why the big <i>pause</i>?"
- 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,420 [Thumping]
- 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:11,132 [Chanting] Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,716 Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:17,429 Many moons ago, pony and eagle walked up to coyote.
- 00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:21,517 Pony said to coyote, "I am very mad at eagle.
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,103 Will you yell at him for me?"
- 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:28,149 Coyote said to pony, "Why can you not yell yourself?"
- 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:32,361 And pony replied, "Because I am a little <i>hoarse."</i>
- 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,821 [Thumping]
- 00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,407 [Chanting] Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,369 How's it going, Gerald?
- 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,537 Oh, not so good.
- 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,039 Yeah. I know what you mean. I'm down 300 bucks.
- 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,749 Yeah. I'm down $26,000.
- 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,794 Yeah. Well, maybe we should -- Wait. $26,000?!
- 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,130 I forgot to tell you. I have a gambling problem.
- 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:52,464 Gerald, $26,000 --
- 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,967 Shh! I have to win it back before Sheila finds out!
- 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,385 Where did you get that kind of money?
- 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,636 The casino gave me credit.
- 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,180 I put the house up as collateral.
- 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:00,806 But I still have this $10 chip!
- 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,725 Dealer 21. Sorry.
- 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,103 That's it. I'm destitute.
- 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,022 Loan me money! You've got to have money in the cup!
- 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,441 W-What's in the cup? - Just six quarters!
- 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,692 Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.
- 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,652 Thank you for playing at Three Feathers.
- 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,113 May your life be filled with the song of the sparrow.
- 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,033 Oh, shove the song of the sparrow up your ass!
- 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,743 [Insects chirping]
- 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,453 How am I gonna tell my family?
- 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:24,163 How do I tell them that tomorrow,
- 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,082 we have to pack up our things and get out of the house?
- 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,459 There's Daddy!
- 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,960 Oh, Jesus.
- 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,463 Where have you guys been? We've been looking all over.
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,756 Yeah. Come on, Dad. This place sucks!
- 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,757 I want to go!
- 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,508 Wha-- What did you say?
- 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,469 I said I want to leave!
- 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,387 Oh! You want to leave, huh?!
- 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,430 Okay. Fine, Kyle.
- 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,599 When we get home, we'll just pack up our things,
- 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,935 load 'em in the car, and we'll leave!
- 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,061 What? No, no. I mean --
- 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,396 No, no, no. If you want to leave South Park, fine!
- 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,190 Tomorrow we're leaving!
- 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,524 Gerald, what are you talking about?
- 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,444 Oh, you heard him, Sheila. Kyle wants to leave.
- 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,447 Our nice old house doesn't "interest" Kyle anymore.
- 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,325 Well, I'm calling a moving company right now!
- 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,371 Well, you shouldn't be such a dick, dude.
- 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,789 What's wrong with Gerald?
- 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,750 He -- He lost his house to the Native Americans.
- 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,626 What?
- 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,045 But don't the Native Americans know he has nowhere else to go?
- 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,630 They don't care.
- 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,882 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,093 Look at them.
- 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:22,304 Small-minded idiots pouring their life savings away.
- 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,599 Their cash flows out of them like diarrhea from the buffalo.
- 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,061 Yes, but we have milked these simple mountain folk almost dry.
- 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,230 If we really want to see cash flow,
- 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,816 we need to bring in city people from Denver.
- 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,359 Yes.
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:38,028 It is time for us to implement our plan --
- 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:42,366 a superhighway, built from Denver right to our casino.
- 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,035 And what do we do about the small town of South Park
- 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,787 that lies in the highway's way?
- 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,163 Simple.
- 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:52,126 We buy it...and we demolish it.
- 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,795 [Chanting] Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,130 [Chanting] Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,633 And that's really all I can tell you.
- 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,885 The town of South Park is going to be leveled
- 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,596 in order to make way for a 12-lane superhighway.
- 00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:06,473 But how can they do that?
- 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,474 The Native Americans
- 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,184 have purchased the land out from under us.
- 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,978 Tomorrow they're buying the last of what they need
- 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,396 to have complete ownership.
- 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,732 Well, can't we stop them? Let's call the bank!
- 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317 The Native Americans bought the bank.
- 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,152 Oh, my God.
- 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,528 Now, look, it isn't all horrible.
- 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,530 The Native Americans are offering you retail values
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,531 on your homes.
- 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,490 No! Screw that!
- 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,492 We'll just pool our money together
- 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,202 and buy the town ourselves!
- 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,662 That's right! - Yeah!
- 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,040 Yeah! Let the South Park people own South Park!
- 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,291 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,959 How much do we have to raise, Mayor?
- 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,086 $300,000.
- 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,088 [Inhales sharply] Ooh. - Oh.
- 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,798 [Crowd murmuring]
- 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,633 Oh. Never mind.
- 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,428 How can they do that, huh?
- 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,305 How can they make us all move away?
- 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,265 Because they're rich, greedy-ass Indians.
- 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,933 Native Americans.
- 00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:52,144 Our whole town, gone. [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,855 We've had such great times here.
- 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,814 My God!
- 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,107 Aah! - Aah!
- 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:57,983 Oh!
- 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,860 [Crowd screaming]
- 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,236 [Roars]
- 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,613 [Crowd screaming]
- 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,281 [Indistinct shouting]
- 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,324 Aah!
- 00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,700 [ Screeches ]
- 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:07,993 [Birds chirping]
- 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,411 We can't let them do it, you guys!
- 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,330 We have to find a way to stop those Native Americans!
- 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:12,331 [All] Yeah!
- 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,582 Yeah. This is our town!
- 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,501 We shouldn't have to make new friends somewhere else.
- 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,502 We're a team! - Yeah!
- 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,003 That's right! - Yeah, that's right!
- 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,004 Yeah. We're a team.
- 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,174 We just have to figure out a way to raise $300,000.
- 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,885 Wait a minute! I've got it, you guys!
- 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,054 We can get Kyle infected with AIDS
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,514 and then start a charity organization
- 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,099 that we steal money from!
- 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,850 Come on! Let's go!
- 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,019 [Birds chirping]
- 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,440 No? We can't give Kyle AIDS?
- 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,442 We need something that will get us money tomorrow.
- 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,278 Hey! I know! How about a dog parade?
- 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,279 Dog parade? - Yeah.
- 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,115 We dress up all our dogs in little outfits
- 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,491 and parade them down the street.
- 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,700 It'll be so adorable!
- 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,494 How do we make $300,000 doing that?
- 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,412 Oh.
- 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,580 Well, we could sell tickets to our moms and dads!
- 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,457 Our moms and dads are the ones who need money, Butters!
- 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,875 Oh.
- 00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:02,005 Maybe give Kyle AIDS, huh? Looking a little better now.
- 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,802 Oh, Gerald, I-I can't watch!
- 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,637 How can you do this to people?
- 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,766 We're sorry, but if we do not build a superhighway,
- 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,561 our casino might stop seeing profits.
- 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,896 There's more to life than profits.
- 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,440 Like what?
- 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,734 Well, like, you know... Slurpees and stuff.
- 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:26,155 Well, come on, honey.
- 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,699 I guess we should start packing up our things as well.
- 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,702 Yeah. So long, South Park.
- 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,328 Mom! Dad!
- 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,081 We figured out a way we could raise $300,000!
- 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,417 A dog parade? - No!
- 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,252 Stan, we've all tried to raise money,
- 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:43,505 but we only raised $10,000, and the deadline is tomorrow.
- 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,716 I know, so how about we take the $10,000
- 00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,092 back to the Indian casino?
- 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:47,968 Tell them, Kyle.
- 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,637 The odds on a single number in roulette are 35 to 1.
- 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,349 That means with a $10,000 bet, you win $350,000!
- 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,934 Boys, that's ridiculous.
- 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,603 Look, we-- we've got nothing to lose.
- 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,938 What do you guys think? - It's a long shot.
- 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:04,234 Yeah, but it's the only shot we've got to save our town.
- 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:06,653 [Insects chirping]
- 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,282 "The residents of South Park had hoped to raise $300,000
- 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,451 but in the end managed to raise only $10,000.
- 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,077 The loss of their town may be imminent
- 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,579 for the poor people of South Park."
- 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,373 [Baby talk] Aw, I fink I'm going to cwy!
- 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,501 [Chanting] Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,379 All right, boys. You're gonna have to wait here.
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,547 Dad.
- 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,759 Good luck.
- 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,386 It's in God's hands now.
- 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,306 Stand aside, everyone!
- 00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,310 What are they doing?
- 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,103 We're gonna try to beat you at your own game,
- 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,855 Chief Runs With Premise!
- 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:45,359 $10,000 on 31 black.
- 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,818 [Crowd gasps]
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492 Impossible.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,203 Come on. Come on.
- 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,251 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,266 31...black.
- 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,226 Yeah! - Whoo-hoo!
- 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,894 Oh, we did it! We did it!
- 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,521 Oh, my God! - Oh, this is amazing!
- 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,856 We did it! - No! No!
- 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,233 [Cheering]
- 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,609 South Park is saved!
- 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,154 We have plenty enough to save our town now!
- 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,783 Yeah! But wait. $350,000.
- 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,287 That means if we won again, it would be $12 1/4 million!
- 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,329 [Crowd gasps]
- 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,707 We could save the town <i>and</i> be super rich!
- 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:44,835 Oh, hell, yeah! Let it ride! Let it ride!
- 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,378 [Crowd cheering]
- 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,504 What the hell are they doing?!
- 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,007 Let's go, 31! Let's see it!
- 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,928 2 red. You lose.
- 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,888 [All] Ohh!
- 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,015 Damn it!
- 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,933 Hm!
- 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,394 They -- They had it!
- 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,313 They freakin' had it!
- 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,567 You totally had it.
- 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,611 You had enough to save the town and then some.
- 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:11,945 Stan, okay?
- 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,531 You just don't understand the fine points of gambling.
- 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,367 You're never supposed to stop when you're on a winning streak.
- 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,077 A winning streak?! You played one game!
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,330 Stan, okay? - What?!
- 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,332 All right, Stan. Okay?
- 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,500 You people just got greedy, like the Native Americans.
- 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:26,710 [Tires screech]
- 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,129 Hey, mister! We're not like them, all right?!
- 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,256 Now, we may have pie-in-the-sky dreams once in a while,
- 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,884 but we aren't the ones kicking people out of their homes.
- 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,969 So don't you compare us to those coldhearted,
- 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,513 moneygrubbing, evil, stinky Indians!
- 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,350 I'm sorry -- Native Americans.
- 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:46,063 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,193 There you are, sir. There's the check for your home.
- 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,694 Just sign here and here.
- 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,031 Well, this is it, Mr. Slave. We're officially homeless.
- 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,491 [Sobbing]
- 00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,619 Jesus -- Jesus Christ!
- 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,205 Dad, what are you doing? Don't take their dirty money!
- 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,748 Stanley, we don't have a choice.
- 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,917 The Native Americans own South Park now.
- 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,461 We have to take what they'll give us for our homes.
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,172 There you go. Have a nice day.
- 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,966 Come on, you guys. This is our town!
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,511 It's over, Stanley. What else can we do?
- 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,013 We can stay...and fight. - Yeah.
- 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,723 When the Indians come to tear up our town,
- 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,016 we kick 'em in the nuts!
- 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:23,767 Mrph!
- 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,353 Yeah. They don't own our town. We do!
- 00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:27,562 I'm sorry, boys.
- 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,398 You just don't understand economics.
- 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,524 It'll be okay, boys.
- 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,026 We'll just move to the next town over.
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:33,985 Oh, sure.
- 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,530 Until the Native Americans decide they want <i>that</i> land, too.
- 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,990 What if the Native Americans just keep building their casinos
- 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,159 and their highways until we have nowhere else to go?
- 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,828 We have to stand up to them now!
- 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,249 Oh, forget it. Come on, you guys!
- 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,626 You're all a bunch of goddamn pussies!
- 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,630 [Men chanting]
- 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,142 Get out of our way!
- 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,060 No! We won't let you destroy our town!
- 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,229 Boys, it isn't your town anymore.
- 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,148 Just because you have a piece of paper saying you own it
- 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,149 doesn't make it yours.
- 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:14,151 We grew up here. Our parents grew up here.
- 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,611 We shop at that Wal-Mart and eat at that Chili's.
- 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:17,946 We take fish from the streams
- 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,906 and bread them and freeze them to make fish sticks.
- 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:22,451 This is not just a town. It is our way of life.
- 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,203 Well, your way of life is about to change, little boys.
- 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,204 Now, move!
- 00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,665 You can't just roll into places and take people's lives away!
- 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,461 And what are four little boys going to do to stop us, huh?
- 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,047 [All] ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,467 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,052 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,971 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,222 ♪ We are strong ♪
- 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,308 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,769 ♪ No one can tell us we're wrong ♪
- 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,062 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,690 ♪ Searching our hearts for so lo-o-o-ng ♪
- 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,942 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,528 ♪ All of us knowing ♪
- 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,739 ♪ Bom bom bom-bom, bom bom bom ♪
- 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,658 ♪ Love is a battlefield ♪
- 00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:04,910 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,537 This land is not for sale.
- 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,957 Damn it! I thought you said they were dealt with!
- 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:11,958 They were!
- 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,210 Sorry, Charlies!
- 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,838 You can just keep your filthy bastard Indian money!
- 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,590 Filthy bastard <i>Native American</i> money.
- 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,759 Oh, right. Sorry about that!
- 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:21,927 This isn't over!
- 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:24,346 [Men chanting]
- 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,723 [Trucks beeping]
- 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,813 We'll never give up! You bastards!
- 00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,898 Yeah. South Park is ours!
- 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,733 But what do we do now?
- 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,278 I mean, we can't just stand here and block their way forever.
- 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,698 We can stand here as long as it takes.
- 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,043 What is the state of our people?
- 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,379 Last night, I spoke with The Spirit of the Bear,
- 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,382 and Bear said that if we do not build our superhighway soon,
- 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,135 our investors may soon sell off their shares of the new casino.
- 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,472 Yes, and Eagle says the cumulative shared market loss
- 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,809 on the revenue of the new casino drops 15% every day.
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,061 Then we must force the South Park people
- 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,271 off their petty land.
- 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,106 But they are determined and proud,
- 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,900 and the Spirit of the Wind has stated that if we use force,
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,569 it could be a publicity nightmare,
- 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,279 further hurting our net assets.
- 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,448 I already have a plan how we can force them off their land...
- 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,449 sneakily.
- 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,787 We're going to give them... blankets!
- 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,330 Blankets?
- 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:35,208 Yes. We will present the blankets as a peace offering.
- 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,127 But what the round eyes will not know
- 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,630 is that the blankets are infected with SARS!
- 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,341 They will all get SARS,
- 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,386 and then SARS will run through their town like a buffalo.
- 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,222 Now, I need your help getting the SARS onto the blankets.
- 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,309 Okay. Bring them in!
- 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:55,395 [Men speaking Chinese]
- 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,023 Let's see how South Park deals with <i>this!</i>
- 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,526 [Man shouting in Chinese]
- 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,154 Everyone, grab a Chinese person and rub them on a blanket.
- 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,906 [Men speaking Chinese]
- 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,490 Make sure you rub them all over!
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,284 Get the SARS nice and deep in there.
- 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,329 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,416 Tom, I'm standing in chilly South Park, Colorado,
- 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,543 where the residents are entering the third day
- 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,879 of their sit-in to try and stop Native Americans
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,381 from building a superhighway through their town.
- 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,801 The temperature is low, but spirits are pretty low, too.
- 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,015 What do <i>they</i> want?
- 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,601 We're not moving, ass-faces!
- 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,102 Free blanket?
- 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,481 Though we know we have differences,
- 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,524 we believe that a compromise can be reached.
- 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,152 In the meantime, it hurts us to see you all on television
- 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,320 sitting in the cold.
- 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,448 Will you not take this offering as a gesture of goodwill?
- 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,241 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,244 You had me at "free blanket."
- 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,375 Free blanket? Free blanket?
- 00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,626 Blanket?
- 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,711 Tom, it now looks as if the Native Americans
- 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,172 are handing out blankets as a sign of goodwill
- 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,715 towards the South Park people.
- 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,717 What an incredible display of compassion.
- 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,971 I certainly hope there's nothing sinister behind it.
- 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:13,473 Please, as a token of good faith.
- 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,768 You understand if I'm a little wary of trusting you.
- 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,354 It is only a blanket, Mr. Marsh.
- 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,314 Well, thanks.
- 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,818 Oh. You're welcome.
- 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,529 [Coughing, groaning]
- 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,322 Tom, it's Tuesday morning now,
- 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,324 and the outbreak of SARS in South Park
- 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,867 has reached epic proportions.
- 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,035 [Coughs, sniffles]
- 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,829 The entire town has been quarantined
- 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,331 by the federal government, nobody allowed in or out,
- 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,875 which means nobody can come to our aid.
- 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:41,876 [Sniffles]
- 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:46,131 It appears this town and this reporter are done for.
- 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,633 Coming up next -- choosing the right hair conditioner.
- 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,301 What you don't know about hair-care products
- 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,512 could be costing you a bundle.
- 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:55,682 [Down-tempo music plays] [Coughing]
- 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:56,850 It's all right, Dad.
- 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560 [Weakly] How's your...mother?
- 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,479 She's hanging in there. Here. Drink some beer.
- 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,817 It's cool on my tongue.
- 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,152 You're gonna be all right.
- 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:10,739 Stanley, listen to me. I have SARS.
- 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,409 There's only a 98% chance that I will live.
- 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,493 No, Dad! No!
- 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,828 Listen, Stan!
- 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,205 SARS is destroying our people.
- 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,541 The Native Americans put it in the blankets they gave us.
- 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,625 [Coughs]
- 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,211 Soon there will be only 98% of us left.
- 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,212 [Groans]
- 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,881 What can I do?
- 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:31,426 You...must find a cure for SARS, son,
- 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,053 and save our people.
- 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,305 Cure SARS? Aw, Jesus!
- 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,641 The spirit of middle-class white people is strong in you, Stan.
- 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,895 Seek out the wise man in Bellocreek.
- 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,897 Now, go! Go!
- 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,408 [Knock on door]
- 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,618 What?
- 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,745 Hey, my name's Stan, and I was --
- 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622 Your coming was foretold to me.
- 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,499 You've come to save our people.
- 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:03,541 Come in.
- 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:04,793 Watch the cats. [Cats meowing]
- 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,212 Uh, so, do you know how to cure SARS?
- 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,049 Me? [Chuckles] No. I am just a guide.
- 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,050 Sit down.
- 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:14,385 You must find the answer yourself
- 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,304 by taking an inward journey.
- 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,515 An inward journey? That sounds kind of gay.
- 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,685 Let the voices of our ancestors show you the way.
- 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,980 Breathe. Breathe from the bag of visions.
- 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,317 [Inhales deeply]
- 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,695 Ugh! Oh, dude!
- 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,283 How much longer must we wait for our superhighway?
- 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,577 SARS has spread throughout the entire town of South Park,
- 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:40,703 Chief Runs With Premise.
- 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,330 Their wills will break soon.
- 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,207 Then I suppose we must be patient.
- 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,376 Runs With Premise, come quickly!
- 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,585 What is the matter, wife?
- 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,671 It is our son, Premise Running Thin.
- 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,922 He is very sick!
- 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,134 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,344 Premise Running Thin, what is the matter?
- 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,264 He -- He shared a glass with one of the people from China.
- 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,682 He has SARS.
- 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,226 No! I told you not to touch them!
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270 Papa. Papa.
- 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,981 I have given him herbs from the desert plant
- 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,275 and water from the cactus of life,
- 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,027 but nothing seems to be working.
- 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,863 This would not have happened
- 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,157 if those townspeople would have just moved away!
- 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,324 No more waiting around.
- 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,660 Tomorrow we begin the final stage of our plan --
- 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,787 shock and awe!
- 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,165 [Moaning, coughing]
- 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:29,586 Dad! Dad!
- 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:30,795 Stanley! [Coughs]
- 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,339 Did you have an inward journey with the old man?
- 00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,549 Did you have a vision?
- 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,718 I don't know if I did or not. I-I saw something.
- 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,719 Someone spoke to me
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,680 and told me the middle-class white way to cure SARS --
- 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,266 Campbell's chicken noodle soup, DayQuil, and Sprite.
- 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,435 Yes. Yes. Of course.
- 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,729 Quickly, Stan! We must give it to everyone.
- 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,357 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,322 Boy, that really did the trick, Stan.
- 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,490 I thought we were kind of sort of not really done for!
- 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,784 Thanks to you, we're all safe now, Stan.
- 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,912 Aah!
- 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,751 Now I will blow your weak, SARS-infested bodies
- 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,877 off the earth!
- 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,963 [Engines rumbling]
- 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,215 What the...
- 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,344 Wait a minute. Stop! Stop!
- 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,598 Your -- Your SARS -- Where did it go?
- 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:25,391 We have cured ourselves
- 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,394 using the medicines of our culture.
- 00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,857 My son, Premise Running Thin, has the SARS as well.
- 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,526 You -- You can cure him?
- 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:42,784 It is amazing.
- 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,328 All our plants and herbs failed to heal him.
- 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,746 But your people's remedy
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,624 brings the spirit of the buffalo back into his heart.
- 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,127 Perhaps there are many things we can learn from your way of life.
- 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,295 We're a simple people.
- 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,756 All we want is to be allowed to live our lives.
- 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591 You have cured Premise Running Thin.
- 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:03,471 In return, I shall give you all $5 credit at the casino.
- 00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,640 All right. All right.
- 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,767 I will not build a superhighway through your town,
- 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,686 and you can all have your homes back.
- 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,229 All right! - Yeah!
- 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,146 Whoo-hoo!
- 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,439 Well, I guess we all learned
- 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,483 that South Park is more than just a town.
- 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,111 It's a community that nobody can split up.
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,533 Dude, who the hell <i>are</i> you?
- 00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:25,243 Alex.
- 00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,995 Alex Glick?
- 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,831 I got to come on and do the guest-voice thingy.
- 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,208 What?! Get the hell out of here!
- 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:34,252 Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Hi, Jill!
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