Я люблю кантри

00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,529

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:33,159

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,040

Okay, children,

let's take our seats.

00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,000

Did you take attendance,

Mr. Slave?

00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,501

All donesy-wonesy.

00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,587

Okay, let's all take out

our math homework

00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,172

and go over the problems.

00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,424

Math homework.

Math homework.

00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,967

Where did I file that?

00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,219

Oh, and by the way, children,

there's a walkout

00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,597

scheduled today

to protest the war in Iraq.

00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,349

So if you're against the war,

run along outside.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:01:00,686

And if you're for the war, stay

here and we'll do math problems.

00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,151

♪ We got out of school ♪

00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,611

♪ No more school today ♪

00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,529

What should we do?

- Let's go see a movie!

00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,448

No war! No war!

00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,076

No war! No war!

00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,328

No war! No war!

00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:20,664

No war! No war!

No war!

00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,458

No war, m'kay!

00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,543

No war, m'kay!

00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,463

Oh, uh, here you go, boys.

These will help you protest.

00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,633

It's good to see that you care

about peace, boys, m'kay.

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,593

No war, m'kay!

00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,012

Excuse me, boys.

Tom Statsel, HBC News.

00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,681

Can you tell me why you kids

marched out of school today?

00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,644

Uh...war?

00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,229

Right.

What about the war?

00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,816

I-It's...It's gay?

00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,944

Uh-huh, and what aspect of it

do you think is most gay?

00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:52,655

Uh, no blood for oil!

00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,907

Yeah, war is not my voice.

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,076

Bush is a nay-zee.

00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,662

Hey, all you

un-American bastards!

00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,915

If you don't like America,

why don't you get out?

00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,500

Yeah!

00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,418

Don't you call us un-American!

00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:09,672

This country was founded

on the right to protest, m'kay!

00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,173

Yeah!

00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,551

If the founding fathers

saw you burning your flag

00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,302

and calling the president

a Nazi,

00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,846

they'd roll over

in their graves!

00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,347

Yeah!

00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,767

The founding fathers would agree

with our right to protest.

00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,603

The founding fathers

would kick all your asses!

00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,439

Boys, what do you think

the founding fathers would say?

00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,526

T-The foggy who?

00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,407

Well, I hope you little commies

00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,908

are pretty pleased

with yourselves --

00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,702

going out there

and protesting America

00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,996

and then saying

on national television

00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:44,415

that you don't even know

who the founding fathers are!

00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,334

You kids don't know squat

about America, do you?!

00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,713

W-Well, not really, no.

00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,006

Well, that's just jingles,

00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,383

because I'm assigning

all you little flag burners

00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,053

a full report on 1776

and the founding fathers!

00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:58,888

Aw!

00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,348

Shut up! I want you all

in your study groups of four.

00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,142

And if you can't give

an outstanding report

00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,768

on what the founding fathers

would have to say

00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:08,439

about all this protesting,

then it's F's for you!

00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,279

Ugh.

00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,157

Uh-ugh.

00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,618

I can't do it.

00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,620

This is way too much material

for a 9-year-old.

00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,248

Oh, no, you don't, Cartman!

00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,583

Every time we get put

in a study group,

00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,585

you sit on ass while the rest

of us do all the work!

00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,295

But you guys are such

better studiers than me.

00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,463

I know you can pull it off.

00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,632

You're gonna read this stuff

and study like the rest of us!

00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,425

Myaaa!

00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,927

M-M-Myaaa!

00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,012

Shut up and study!

00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,765

Myaaaa!

Mya, mya.

00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:00,950

Hmm, 1776, when our founding

fathers created America.

00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,577

I wonder what it used to be like

in those days...

00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,120

in those days...

00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,623

in those days...in those days.

00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,832

What are you doing?

00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,459

I'm trying to have a flashback.

00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,168

A mrph?

00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,419

You know, if I have a flashback,

00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,172

then I can see what 1776

was like firsthand.

00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,465

No, you just have to study.

00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,968

No. I've seen this work before.

Just give me a second.

00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,427

Oh, okay, okay.

How about this?

00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,138

Say, guys, 1776 was so long ago.

00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,516

I wonder what life would

have been like back then...

00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,685

back then...back then...

00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,019

back then.

00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,151

Uh...Oh, wait, wait.

I know, I know.

00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,488

You know, guys,

I don't even care about 1776.

00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,656

It was so long ago

00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,825

that I don't think it has

anything to do with me...

00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,285

with me...

00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,328

with --

anything to do with me...

00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,454

with me.

00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,956

That isn't gonna work, dumbass!

00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,500

Kids, let's keep it down

for study groups

00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,169

or else Mr. Garrison's

going to punish me.

00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,338

Just face it, Cartman.

You're gonna have to study!

00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,756

Myaaa!

00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550

M-M-M-Myaaa!

00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,013

There.

All finished.

00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,099

From now on, this is

the pro-war side of town,

00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,768

and that's the unpatriotic side.

00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,270

Yeah!

- That's right!

00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,897

How about we call this

the rational side of town

00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,899

and that the redneck side?!

00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,111

You just keep

all your flag burning

00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,364

and your hippie-rock protest

songs on your side of the town!

00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,741

Hey, wait a minute.

00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,826

Your side of town

has the post office.

00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,953

Well, your side

has the grocery store.

00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,205

You can come to our side of town

to use the post office

00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,541

if we can go to your side

to use the grocery store.

00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,336

Uh, can we cross the line

to take our kids to school?

00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,379

Well, naturally,

you can cross the line for that,

00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,132

just like we can cross the line

for hardware supplies, gas,

00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,342

and pharmaceutical needs.

00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,593

Yeah, okay.

- That's good.

00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:45,596

Hey, everybody,

this is never gonna work.

00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:46,889

Don't you see?

00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,100

All this dividin' up the town --

It's just ridiculous.

00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,061

What we really should be doing

00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,564

is just beating the hell

out of each other like we were.

00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,400

He's right.

Boy, do I feel like a fool.

00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,572

Cartman, what the hell

are you doing?

00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,574

You're supposed to be studying!

- That's what I'm doing.

00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,326

I'm about to find out

all about what happened

00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,161

back in 1776.

- How?

00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,205

All I have to do is be thinking

about American history

00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,373

when I walk through

this doorway.

00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,708

I'll trip the rope, causing

the rock to fall on my head,

00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,085

and then I will have a flashback

00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,669

to the times

of our founding fathers!

00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,047

Cartman, you are hereby declared

a full-fledged retard.

00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,757

Make fun of me all you want,

Kyle,

00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,008

but I will have the last laugh.

00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,843

Gentlemen, if you will clear

the doorway, please.

00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:34,728

Oh, gee, I wonder what it used

to be like in the year 1776.

00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,942

Derh.

00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,068

Derh...

00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,444

Cartman?

00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,737

Cartman!

00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,531

Benjamin Franklin?

00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,157

No, turd pants, it's Kyle!

00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,242

Kyle.

00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:52,913

Get out of my flashback,

you goddamn Jew.

00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,625

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,711

Okay, people.

What are we rabbling about now?

00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,088

Mayor, our peace rally

00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,965

has always been set

for this Saturday.

00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,967

And now these pro-war bastards

00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,428

are suddenly trying to say

they get the town square.

00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,804

That's bull crap, Mayor!

00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,474

Our rally to support the war

was set up months ago.

00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,351

There was no war months ago!

00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,479

Hey, if you don't like America,

then you can get out!

00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,647

Look, nobody wants to hear

00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,692

a bunch of twangy-country-music,

pro-war propaganda.

00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,611

Nobody wants to hear a bunch

of rock protest songs!

00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:25,821

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,197

Up yours, rednecks!

00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,490

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,785

Quiet, people!

The town square is public space.

00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,870

That means if neither group

00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,372

will nicely and maturely move

the day of its rally,

00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,208

I'll just have to give

the town square to both groups.

00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,501

All right!

That's fine!

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,588

Because our war-support songs

will be a thousand times better!

00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,548

Oh, you think so?

Bring the shizzle.

00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,717

We'll trizzle the shizzle

all over the hizzle.

00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,302

Yeah?

See you Saturday,

00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:52,097

McKizzer shanizzernilla shazz

beyaznatch kazizza.

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,308

Cartman?

- Cartman?

00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,643

You better be studying,

God damn it.

00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,896

Ah, Stan, Kyle, Kenny.

You're just in time.

00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,314

Oh, no.

- Oh, yes!

00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,607

I am just about to flash back

00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,025

to the days

of our founding fathers.

00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,443

Cartman, you're supposed

to be studying!

00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,444

What the hell is all this?

00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,279

I have programmed TiVo

to record over 50 hours

00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,280

of the History Channel.

00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,656

When TiVo is full,

both TiVo and I

00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:10,657

will be dropped into the water,

00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,950

combining our

electro-whatever fields

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,702

and sending me into a flashback

of history.

00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038

Uh, Cartman, I think

that's a really bad idea.

00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,247

Or a really sweet one.

00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,916

Your TiVo is full.

00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:20,542

Oh, here goes!

00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,261

Cartman?

00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,763

Cartman?

00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,306

Aw, crap.

00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,689

Oh, awesome!

00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,108

Oi, there, young lad!

Are you all right?

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,693

Yeah, yeah.

Can you tell me what year it is?

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,279

This year?

Why, it's 1776, it is.

00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,782

Oh, yes!

I did it! I did it!

00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,158

Would you like a ride into town?

00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,035

I'm on my way to Master

Thomas Jefferson's house

00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,620

to get a very important

document, I am.

00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,123

Oh, kick fuckin' ass, dude!

00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,042

Never seen you around here,

friend.

00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,168

Might ye be from up north?

00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,462

No, I'm not from here at all.

I'm having a flashback.

00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,548

A flashback?

Why, what is that?

00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,008

Well, you know, it's a --

Oh, awesome!

00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,510

♪ Look at me ♪

00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,137

♪ I'm back in time, in 1776 ♪

00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,598

♪ With gaslight corners,

cobblestone streets ♪

00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141

♪ And humble houses

made of bricks ♪

00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,394

♪ What a special, magic time ♪

00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,145

♪ And it's all alive for me ♪

00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,606

♪ I'm so glad Stan and Kyle

aren't here ♪

00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,068

♪ I hate those guys, seriously ♪

00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,445

♪ Seriously hate those guys ♪

00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,031

♪ Hate Stan and Kyle ♪

00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,997

Is he going to be all right,

Doctor?

00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,415

Your son tried to kill himself

00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,750

in a ritualistic fashion

I've never seen before.

00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044

His chances of surviving

are very slim.

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,838

I'm so sorry.

00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,881

Oh, baby.

Baby, you can't die!

00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,675

Yeah.

We have a report to do, asshole.

00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,843

Get up! Get up!

00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,095

Ooh. Easy, Kyle.

- But it's not fair!

00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,139

We have to do a full report

on the founding fathers,

00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,141

and -- and Cartman got out

of helping us again!

00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,018

I guess we're just gonna have to

do it with the three of us.

00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,936

Come on, guys.

00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,230

I know you're in

a very dark place now, sweetie,

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,982

but you must come

toward the light.

00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,525

Come toward the light!

00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,278

Here we are, then --

00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,280

the current residence

of Master Thomas Jefferson.

00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,573

Super neato!

00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,492

I'm afraid

you'll have to wait here.

00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,077

But I need to talk

to the founding fathers

00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,078

to do my report.

00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,164

Sorry, only the official

messenger boy

00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,915

is allowed to talk

to Mr. Jefferson.

00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:27,044

Oh, okay.

I guess I understand.

00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,378

♪ I don't want to wait ♪

00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,922

♪ For our lives to be over ♪

00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,469

♪ I don't want to wait ♪

00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,472

♪ For our lives to be over ♪

00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,602

Hello.

I am Thomas Jefferson.

00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,979

And I am the official

messenger boy, I am!

00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,147

Very well.

00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,608

Take this document

to the Continental Congress.

00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,402

Wow. The Declaration

of Independence Day.

00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,446

Some favor going to war

with England,

00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,782

and others want to avoid war

at all costs.

00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:57,908

It's a bitch, ain't it?

00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,285

Perhaps this document

will make the reasons for war

00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,370

obvious to all.

00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,746

Good luck, young messenger.

00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,331

Now make haste!

00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,960

Okay, so Thomas Jefferson wrote

the Declaration of Independence.

00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,337

Then the Continental Congress --

00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,172

No war! No war! No war!

00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,840

Oh, Jesus.

00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,842

Uh, boys, would you mind

clearing the living room?

00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,303

We have to practice

our big war-protest song.

00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,429

Dad, we have to study.

00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,056

Mr. Garrison is making us

do a presentation

00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,891

on what the founding fathers

would say about the war.

00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,519

Hey, that's a terrific idea!

00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,979

Yeah! We could have the boys

do their presentation

00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940

as part of our peace rally

on Saturday!

00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,525

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,901

Support our troops!

00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,486

Support our troops!

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,530

See?

I told you they had your son!

00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,198

Kenny, what are you doing

over here

00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,866

with all these

un-American traitors?

00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,243

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,704

The boys are going to give

a presentation at our rally

00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,080

about how the founding fathers

00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,082

would agree with our right

to protest.

00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,500

What?! No!

- What?! Oh, no!

00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,210

Actually, we hadn't

really come to a --

00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,463

Look, my son is a patriot

and loves his country!

00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:54,923

- Come on, Kenny!

- Mrph rmh --

00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,383

Now!

- Yeah!

00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,509

Support our troops!

00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,677

Support our troops!

00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,846

Oh, Kenny, n-- Oh! Aw.

00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,973

Aw, now we lost two

in our study group!

00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,141

God damn it!

00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,101

Can you believe

those hick sons of bitches?

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,311

Manipulating their kids

into being on their side.

00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,646

Disgraceful!

00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,023

Stan and Kyle, it's up to you

to show all those warmongers

00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,859

that the founding fathers

agree with us!

00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,445

Yeah, that's right!

Let's get back to work!

00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,322

Do you think kids in every town

have to deal with this crap?

00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,163

Enter, young messenger!

00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,881

I am John Hancock,

president of the Congress.

00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:36,965

Wow!

00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,383

Mr. John Adams?

00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,384

Aye.

00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,594

Will you do the honors

00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,971

of reading the document

to Congress, please?

00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,433

"When in the course

of human events,

00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,810

it becomes necessary

for one people to..."

00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,021

"...we mutually pledge

to each other our lives,

00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:54,107

our fortunes,

and our sacred honor.

00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,988

P.S. every Thursday

should be 'free ice cream' day."

00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,702

Excuse me, but does this

declaration actually suggest

00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,996

that we should go to war

with England?

00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,998

We have no choice,

Mr. Dickinson.

00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,294

All right, everyone.

00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,798

Thank you all for coming out

to protest the war, m'kay!

00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,801

Don't kid yourselves.

00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,720

These people have come out

to support our troops, right?!

00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,600

And now Randy Marsh is

gonna sing a protest song

00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,185

he wrote about the war.

00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,561

Oh, no, you don't!

00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,939

We're doing

our pro-war song first!

00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:34,815

Yeah!

00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,982

The last thing these people want

00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,443

is another bleeding-heart

rock protest song!

00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,155

People, I told you,

you have to share the stage.

00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,116

Nobody wants to hear another

pro-war country song!

00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,452

Well, excuse me if...

00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,580

♪ I'm a little bit country ♪

00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,125

♪ Well, I'm a little bit

rock 'n' roll-a ♪

00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,254

♪ I'm a little

for supportin' our troops ♪

00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,966

♪ And I'm a little

for bringin' 'em home ♪

00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,801

♪ I believe freedom isn't free ♪

00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,678

♪ No, but war shouldn't be

our goal ♪

00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,639

♪ We must defend our country ♪

00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,433

♪ If it means war,

then we say no ♪

00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,352

Yee-haw!

00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:16,898

♪ Did you forget them towers

in New York? ♪

00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,944

♪ Did you forget

how it made you feel ♪

00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,947

♪ To see them towers

come down? ♪

00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,699

♪ Were you like me? ♪

00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,494

♪ Did you think

it weren't real? ♪

00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:33,623

♪ I like to rock,

but I don't want to rock Iraq ♪

00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,420

♪ The only kind of rockin'

America should do ♪

00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,506

♪ Is the kind

that we can all dance to ♪

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,509

♪ We've got GPS, ICBMs ♪

00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,470

♪ And good old-fashioned lead ♪

00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,807

♪ We're gonna show Saddam

what America means ♪

00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,560

♪ That son of a bitch

will be dead ♪

00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,521

♪ Why are we fightin'

this war? ♪

00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,900

♪ There's a man in the office

we didn't vote for ♪

00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,943

♪ They didn't give me a choice ♪

00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,362

♪ War is not my voice ♪

00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,197

♪ Yea-a-a-a-h! ♪

00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,870

We must go to war!

00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,331

But what about the violence,

the lives lost?

00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,540

If we found a country,

00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,959

it should be founded on peace

and diplomacy!

00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,046

England will only understand

one thing -- force.

00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881

I must state again

for the record

00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,674

that South Carolina,

North Carolina,

00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,636

Pennsylvania, Maryland,

and Georgia are against war!

00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,221

Yeah, because you don't care

about the fate of the colonies

00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:31,306

like we do!

00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,807

You're all unpatriotic!

00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:36,353

And if you don't like the

colonies, then you can get out!

00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,063

Don't you call us unpatriotic!

00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,439

We are protesting this war

00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,983

because we care so deeply

for the fate of our colonies!

00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,235

You are all unpatriotic

for leading the colonies

00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,488

into a war that half of them

don't want!

00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,826

Whoa.

How very, very relevant.

00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,914

Tom, I'm standing

in the town square,

00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,624

where the war rally

has been going on

00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,043

for an incredible 87 hours.

00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,754

The crowd still appears to be

split right down the middle --

00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,507

half support country music and

the other half rock 'n' roll.

00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,675

Let's listen in.

00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,218

And now we'd like to bring out

00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,595

a couple of very special

South Park students

00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,056

who did a report

on what the founding fathers

00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,226

would have to say about the war.

00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,813

Boo!

00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,440

For you people who still think

war is the answer,

00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:26,152

perhaps you can listen

to the voices...of the children.

00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,993

Uh, we didn't do it.

00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,285

What?

00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,371

We didn't do our homework.

00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,415

Boys, you were supposed

to come out here

00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,750

and tell everyone

about the founding fathers!

00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,085

First we lost one study partner

00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,503

when Cartman put himself

in the hospital,

00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,504

and then they took Kenny away.

00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922

Then Kyle forgot

to set his clock ahead

00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,549

for Daylight Savings,

and we couldn't find anything

00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,842

in the history books

about Iraq --

00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,552

That's because

the founding fathers

00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,095

would have supported the war!

00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,931

The founding fathers

would have protested, like us!

00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,141

Support!

- Support!

00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,308

Protest!

- Protest!

00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,435

Country!

- Country!

00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,603

Rock 'n' roll!

- Rock 'n' roll!

00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,153

Aah!

00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,781

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,242

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536

We cannot found a country

based on war!

00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,039

We cannot found a country

that is afraid to fight!

00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:19,873

Rabble!

00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,000

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,085

Oh. Benjamin Franklin.

00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,837

Benjamin Franklin.

- Benjamin Franklin's here.

00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,589

It's Mr. Franklin.

- Franklin, Franklin.

00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,466

Oh, Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin, Franklin.

00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,633

Benjamin Franklin.

00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,345

Mr. Franklin, where do you stand

on the war issue?

00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,683

I believe that if we are to form

a new country,

00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,312

we cannot be a country that

appears war-hungry and violent

00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,980

to the rest of the world.

00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,316

However, we also cannot be

a country

00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,943

that appears weak

and unwilling to fight

00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,528

to the rest of the world.

00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:56,367

So, what if we form a country...

that appears to want both?

00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,330

Yes.

Yes, of course.

00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,831

We go to war...

00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,459

and protest going to war

at the same time!

00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,835

Right!

00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,003

If the people of our new country

00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,505

are allowed to do

whatever they wish,

00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,508

then some will support the war

and some will protest it.

00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,510

And that means that as a nation,

00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,012

we could go to war

with whomever we wished

00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,182

but at the same time

act like we didn't want to.

00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,476

If we allow the people

to protest

00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,769

what the government does,

00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:26,064

then the country will be

forever blameless.

00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,734

It's like having your cake

and eating it, too.

00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,238

Think of it -- an entire nation

founded on saying one thing

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,322

and doing another.

00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:40,203

And we will call that country

the United States of America.

00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,204

Wow!

00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,580

I get it now!

00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,915

I get it!

00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,333

Whoa.

Here goes.

00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,001

I wish I could

go back to my time...

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,504

to my time...

to -- to my time.

00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,340

Wow!

00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,480

Everyone, stop, please!

00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,191

The -- the child.

00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,818

The child from the hospital!

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,405

If you all don't mind, I would

like to do my report now.

00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,699

I know what the founding fathers

would say.

00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,576

He does?

- He does?

00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,994

I learned something today.

00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,246

This country was founded

by some of the smartest thinkers

00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,790

the world has ever seen,

and they knew one thing --

00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,042

that a truly great country

can go to war

00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,045

and at the same time

act like it doesn't want to.

00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,756

You people who are for the war,

you need the protesters

00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:36,134

because they make the country

look like it's made of sane,

00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,260

caring individuals.

00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,721

And you people who are antiwar,

you need these flag-wavers,

00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,181

because if our whole country

00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,224

was made up of nothing

but soft, pussy protesters,

00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,018

we'd get taken down in a second.

00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,520

That's why the founding fathers

decided we should have both.

00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,398

It's called having your cake

and eating it, too.

00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,150

He's right.

00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,776

The strength of this country

00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,112

is the ability to do one thing

and say another.

00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:59,032

Yeah, if it weren't

for all you guys protesting,

00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,451

everyone around the world

would hate the American people

00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,203

instead of just the president.

00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,788

And if it weren't for you people

flexing your arms,

00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,208

America could easily

get taken over by terrorists

00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,417

or -- or China.

00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,836

I guess we owe you an apology.

00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,755

And I-I guess we owe you one.

00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,632

Aw.

00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,050

Aw.

- Aw.

00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,468

Aw.

- Aw.

00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:19,636

Aw.

- Aw.

00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,054

Cartman?

00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,306

Cartman saved the day?

- Can't be.

00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,058

The founding fathers

want you all to know

00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,601

that we can disagree

all we want,

00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,811

as long as we agree

that America kicks ass.

00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,190

♪ Hey, I'm a little bit

country ♪

00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,026

♪ And I'm a little bit

rock 'n' roll-a ♪

00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,320

♪ I'll be the muscle

of America ♪

00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,157

♪ And me,

I'll be the caring soul ♪

00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,825

♪ And when you put us together ♪

00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,661

♪ You get a nation

with one goal ♪

00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,080

♪ To thrive and prosper ♪

00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,999

♪ With a little country

and rock 'n' roll ♪

00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,627

Come on up here, everybody!

00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,673

♪ We're a little bit country ♪

00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,800

♪ We're a little bit

rock 'n' roll ♪

00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,469

We can be a nation

that believes in war...

00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,846

And still tells the world

that we don't.

00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,350

♪ Let the flag for hypocrisy

fly high from every pole ♪

00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,061

♪ 'Cause we're

a little bit country ♪

00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,563

♪ And we're a little bit

rock 'n' roll ♪

00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,274

Well, good night, everybody.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,943

It sure has been great

bringing you 100 episodes.

00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,570

We want to thank our guests,

the pro-war people...

00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,824

...and the antiwar people.

00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,159

What the hell

are they doing now?

00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:25,994

I-I don't know.

00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,080

♪ For the war,

against the war -- Who cares? ♪

00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:33,126

♪ 100 episodes ♪

00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,547

I hate this town.

I really, really do.

00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,529

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:33,159

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,370

[Bell rings]

00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,040

Okay, children,

let's take our seats.

00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,000

Did you take attendance,

Mr. Slave?

00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,501

All donesy-wonesy.

00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,587

Okay, let's all take out

our math homework

00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,172

and go over the problems.

00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,424

Math homework.

Math homework.

00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,967

Where did I file that?

00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,219

Oh, and by the way, children,

there's a walkout

00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,597

scheduled today

to protest the war in Iraq.

00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,349

So if you're against the war,

run along outside.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:01:00,686

And if you're for the war, stay

here and we'll do math problems.

00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,649

[Cheering]

00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,151

♪ We got out of school ♪

00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,611

♪ No more school today ♪

00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,529

What should we do?

- Let's go see a movie!

00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,448

[Crowd chanting]

No war! No war!

00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,076

No war! No war!

00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,328

No war! No war!

00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:20,664

No war! No war!

No war!

00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,458

No war, m'kay!

00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,543

No war, m'kay!

00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,463

Oh, uh, here you go, boys.

These will help you protest.

00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,633

It's good to see that you care

about peace, boys, m'kay.

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,593

No war, m'kay!

00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,012

Excuse me, boys.

Tom Statsel, HBC News.

00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,681

Can you tell me why you kids

marched out of school today?

00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,644

Uh...war?

00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,229

Right.

What about the war?

00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,816

I-It's...It's gay?

00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,944

Uh-huh, and what aspect of it

do you think is most gay?

00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:52,655

Uh, no blood for oil!

00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,907

Yeah, war is not my voice.

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,076

Bush is a nay-zee.

00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,662

Hey, all you

un-American bastards!

00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,915

If you don't like America,

why don't you get out?

00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,500

[All]

Yeah!

00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,418

Don't you call us un-American!

00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:09,672

This country was founded

on the right to protest, m'kay!

00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,173

[All]

Yeah!

00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,551

If the founding fathers

saw you burning your flag

00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,302

and calling the president

a Nazi,

00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,846

they'd roll over

in their graves!

00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,347

[All]

Yeah!

00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,767

The founding fathers would agree

with our right to protest.

00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,603

The founding fathers

would kick all your asses!

00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,439

Boys, what do you think

the founding fathers would say?

00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,526

T-The foggy who?

00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,778

[All shouting]

00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,407

Well, I hope you little commies

00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,908

are pretty pleased

with yourselves --

00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,702

going out there

and protesting America

00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,996

and then saying

on national television

00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:44,415

that you don't even know

who the founding fathers are!

00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,334

You kids don't know squat

about America, do you?!

00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,713

W-Well, not really, no.

00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,006

Well, that's just jingles,

00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,383

because I'm assigning

all you little flag burners

00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,053

a full report on 1776

and the founding fathers!

00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:58,888

[All]

Aw!

00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,348

Shut up! I want you all

in your study groups of four.

00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,142

And if you can't give

an outstanding report

00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,768

on what the founding fathers

would have to say

00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:08,439

about all this protesting,

then it's F's for you!

00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,482

[Bell rings]

00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,279

Ugh.

00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,157

Uh-ugh.

00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,618

I can't do it.

00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,620

This is way too much material

for a 9-year-old.

00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,914

[Yawns, smacks lips]

00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,248

Oh, no, you don't, Cartman!

00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,583

Every time we get put

in a study group,

00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,585

you sit on ass while the rest

of us do all the work!

00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,295

But you guys are such

better studiers than me.

00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,463

I know you can pull it off.

00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,632

You're gonna read this stuff

and study like the rest of us!

00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,425

Myaaa!

00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,927

M-M-Myaaa!

00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,012

Shut up and study!

00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,765

Myaaaa!

Mya, mya.

00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,393

[Whimpering]

00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,731

[Groaning]

00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,193

[Sighs]

00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:00,950

Hmm, 1776, when our founding

fathers created America.

00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,577

I wonder what it used to be like

in those days...

00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,120

in those days...

00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,623

in those days...in those days.

00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,832

What are you doing?

00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,459

I'm trying to have a flashback.

00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,168

A mrph?

00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,419

You know, if I have a flashback,

00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,172

then I can see what 1776

was like firsthand.

00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,465

No, you just have to study.

00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,968

No. I've seen this work before.

Just give me a second.

00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,427

Oh, okay, okay.

How about this?

00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,138

Say, guys, 1776 was so long ago.

00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,516

I wonder what life would

have been like back then...

00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,685

back then...back then...

00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,019

back then.

00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,272

[Choir vocalizing]

00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,151

Uh...Oh, wait, wait.

I know, I know.

00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,488

You know, guys,

I don't even care about 1776.

00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,656

It was so long ago

00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,825

that I don't think it has

anything to do with me...

00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,285

with me...

00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,328

with --

anything to do with me...

00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,454

with me.

00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,956

That isn't gonna work, dumbass!

00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,500

Kids, let's keep it down

for study groups

00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,169

or else Mr. Garrison's

going to punish me.

00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,338

Just face it, Cartman.

You're gonna have to study!

00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,756

Myaaa!

00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550

M-M-M-Myaaa!

00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:02,594

[Dramatic music plays]

00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,013

There.

All finished.

00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,099

From now on, this is

the pro-war side of town,

00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,768

and that's the unpatriotic side.

00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,270

Yeah!

- That's right!

00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,897

How about we call this

the rational side of town

00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,899

and that the redneck side?!

00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,026

[Laughter]

00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,111

You just keep

all your flag burning

00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,364

and your hippie-rock protest

songs on your side of the town!

00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,741

Hey, wait a minute.

00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,826

Your side of town

has the post office.

00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,953

Well, your side

has the grocery store.

00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,205

You can come to our side of town

to use the post office

00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,541

if we can go to your side

to use the grocery store.

00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,336

Uh, can we cross the line

to take our kids to school?

00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,379

Well, naturally,

you can cross the line for that,

00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,132

just like we can cross the line

for hardware supplies, gas,

00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,342

and pharmaceutical needs.

00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,593

Yeah, okay.

- That's good.

00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:45,596

Hey, everybody,

this is never gonna work.

00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:46,889

Don't you see?

00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,100

All this dividin' up the town --

It's just ridiculous.

00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,061

What we really should be doing

00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,564

is just beating the hell

out of each other like we were.

00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,400

He's right.

Boy, do I feel like a fool.

00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,487

[All shouting]

00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,572

Cartman, what the hell

are you doing?

00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,574

You're supposed to be studying!

- That's what I'm doing.

00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,326

I'm about to find out

all about what happened

00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,161

back in 1776.

- How?

00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,205

All I have to do is be thinking

about American history

00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,373

when I walk through

this doorway.

00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,708

I'll trip the rope, causing

the rock to fall on my head,

00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,085

and then I will have a flashback

00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,669

to the times

of our founding fathers!

00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,047

Cartman, you are hereby declared

a full-fledged retard.

00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,757

Make fun of me all you want,

Kyle,

00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,008

but I will have the last laugh.

00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,843

Gentlemen, if you will clear

the doorway, please.

00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,391

[Clears throat]

00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:34,728

Oh, gee, I wonder what it used

to be like in the year 1776.

00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:35,938

[Grunts]

00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,942

Derh.

00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,068

Derh...

00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,444

Cartman?

00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,737

Cartman!

00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,531

Benjamin Franklin?

00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,157

No, turd pants, it's Kyle!

00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,242

Kyle.

00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:52,913

Get out of my flashback,

you goddamn Jew.

00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,625

[All]

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,711

Okay, people.

What are we rabbling about now?

00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,088

Mayor, our peace rally

00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,965

has always been set

for this Saturday.

00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,967

And now these pro-war bastards

00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,428

are suddenly trying to say

they get the town square.

00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,804

That's bull crap, Mayor!

00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,474

Our rally to support the war

was set up months ago.

00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,351

There was no war months ago!

00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,479

Hey, if you don't like America,

then you can get out!

00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,647

Look, nobody wants to hear

00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,692

a bunch of twangy-country-music,

pro-war propaganda.

00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,611

Nobody wants to hear a bunch

of rock protest songs!

00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:25,821

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,197

Up yours, rednecks!

00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,490

[All]

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,785

Quiet, people!

The town square is public space.

00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,870

That means if neither group

00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,372

will nicely and maturely move

the day of its rally,

00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,208

I'll just have to give

the town square to both groups.

00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,501

All right!

That's fine!

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,588

Because our war-support songs

will be a thousand times better!

00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,548

Oh, you think so?

Bring the shizzle.

00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,717

We'll trizzle the shizzle

all over the hizzle.

00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,302

Yeah?

See you Saturday,

00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:52,097

McKizzer shanizzernilla shazz

beyaznatch kazizza.

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,308

Cartman?

- Cartman?

00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,643

You better be studying,

God damn it.

00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,896

Ah, Stan, Kyle, Kenny.

You're just in time.

00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,314

Oh, no.

- Oh, yes!

00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,607

I am just about to flash back

00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,025

to the days

of our founding fathers.

00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,443

Cartman, you're supposed

to be studying!

00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,444

What the hell is all this?

00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,279

I have programmed TiVo

to record over 50 hours

00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,280

of the History Channel.

00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,656

When TiVo is full,

both TiVo and I

00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:10,657

will be dropped into the water,

00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,950

combining our

electro-whatever fields

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,702

and sending me into a flashback

of history.

00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038

Uh, Cartman, I think

that's a really bad idea.

00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,247

Or a really sweet one.

00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,916

[Bell chimes, Announcer speaks]

Your TiVo is full.

00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:20,542

Oh, here goes!

00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,003

[Electricity crackling,

Cartman screaming]

00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,261

Cartman?

00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,763

Cartman?

00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,306

Aw, crap.

00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,184

[Down-tempo music plays]

00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,689

Oh, awesome!

00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,108

Oi, there, young lad!

Are you all right?

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,693

Yeah, yeah.

Can you tell me what year it is?

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,279

This year?

Why, it's 1776, it is.

00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,782

Oh, yes!

I did it! I did it!

00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,158

Would you like a ride into town?

00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,035

I'm on my way to Master

Thomas Jefferson's house

00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,620

to get a very important

document, I am.

00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,123

Oh, kick fuckin' ass, dude!

00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,042

Never seen you around here,

friend.

00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,168

Might ye be from up north?

00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,462

No, I'm not from here at all.

I'm having a flashback.

00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,548

A flashback?

Why, what is that?

00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,008

Well, you know, it's a --

Oh, awesome! [Laughs]

00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,510

♪ Look at me ♪

00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,137

♪ I'm back in time, in 1776 ♪

00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,598

♪ With gaslight corners,

cobblestone streets ♪

00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141

♪ And humble houses

made of bricks ♪

00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,394

♪ What a special, magic time ♪

00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,145

♪ And it's all alive for me ♪

00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,606

♪ I'm so glad Stan and Kyle

aren't here ♪

00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,068

♪ I hate those guys, seriously ♪

00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,445

♪ Seriously hate those guys ♪

00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,031

♪ Hate Stan and Kyle ♪

00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,036

[Monitor beeping]

00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,997

Is he going to be all right,

Doctor?

00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,415

Your son tried to kill himself

00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,750

in a ritualistic fashion

I've never seen before.

00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044

His chances of surviving

are very slim.

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,838

I'm so sorry.

00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,881

Oh, baby.

Baby, you can't die!

00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,675

Yeah.

We have a report to do, asshole.

00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,843

Get up! Get up!

00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,095

Ooh. Easy, Kyle.

- But it's not fair!

00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,139

We have to do a full report

on the founding fathers,

00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,141

and -- and Cartman got out

of helping us again!

00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,018

I guess we're just gonna have to

do it with the three of us.

00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,936

Come on, guys.

00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,230

I know you're in

a very dark place now, sweetie,

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,982

but you must come

toward the light.

00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,525

Come toward the light!

00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,985

[Mid-tempo music plays]

00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,278

Here we are, then --

00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,280

the current residence

of Master Thomas Jefferson.

00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,573

Super neato!

00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,492

I'm afraid

you'll have to wait here.

00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,077

But I need to talk

to the founding fathers

00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,078

to do my report.

00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,164

Sorry, only the official

messenger boy

00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,915

is allowed to talk

to Mr. Jefferson.

00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:27,044

Oh, okay.

I guess I understand.

00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,378

♪ I don't want to wait ♪

00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,922

♪ For our lives to be over ♪

00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,092

[Screaming]

00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,469

♪ I don't want to wait ♪

00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,472

♪ For our lives to be over ♪

00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:41,058

[ Knock on door ]

00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,602

Hello.

I am Thomas Jefferson.

00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,979

And I am the official

messenger boy, I am!

00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,147

Very well.

00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,608

Take this document

to the Continental Congress.

00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,402

Wow. The Declaration

of Independence Day.

00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,446

Some favor going to war

with England,

00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,782

and others want to avoid war

at all costs.

00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:57,908

It's a bitch, ain't it?

00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,285

Perhaps this document

will make the reasons for war

00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,370

obvious to all.

00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,746

Good luck, young messenger.

00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,331

Now make haste!

00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,960

Okay, so Thomas Jefferson wrote

the Declaration of Independence.

00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,337

Then the Continental Congress --

00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,172

[All Chanting]

No war! No war! No war!

00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,840

Oh, Jesus.

00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,842

Uh, boys, would you mind

clearing the living room?

00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,303

We have to practice

our big war-protest song.

00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,429

Dad, we have to study.

00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,056

Mr. Garrison is making us

do a presentation

00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,891

on what the founding fathers

would say about the war.

00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,519

Hey, that's a terrific idea!

00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,979

Yeah! We could have the boys

do their presentation

00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940

as part of our peace rally

on Saturday!

00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,525

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,901

[All Chanting]

Support our troops!

00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,486

Support our troops!

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,530

See?

I told you they had your son!

00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,198

Kenny, what are you doing

over here

00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,866

with all these

un-American traitors?

00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,243

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,704

The boys are going to give

a presentation at our rally

00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,080

about how the founding fathers

00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,082

would agree with our right

to protest.

00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,500

What?! No!

- What?! Oh, no!

00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,210

Actually, we hadn't

really come to a --

00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,463

Look, my son is a patriot

and loves his country!

00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:54,923

- Come on, Kenny!

- Mrph rmh --

00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,383

Now!

- Yeah!

00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,509

[All Chanting]

Support our troops!

00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,677

Support our troops!

00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,846

Oh, Kenny, n-- Oh! Aw.

00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,973

Aw, now we lost two

in our study group!

00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,141

God damn it!

00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,101

Can you believe

those hick sons of bitches?

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,311

Manipulating their kids

into being on their side.

00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,646

Disgraceful!

00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,023

Stan and Kyle, it's up to you

to show all those warmongers

00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,859

that the founding fathers

agree with us!

00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,445

Yeah, that's right!

Let's get back to work!

00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,322

Do you think kids in every town

have to deal with this crap?

00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:22,743

[Dramatic music plays]

00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,163

Enter, young messenger!

00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,881

I am John Hancock,

president of the Congress.

00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:36,965

Wow!

00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,383

Mr. John Adams?

00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,384

Aye.

00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,594

Will you do the honors

00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,971

of reading the document

to Congress, please?

00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,433

"When in the course

of human events,

00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,810

it becomes necessary

for one people to..."

00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,021

"...we mutually pledge

to each other our lives,

00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:54,107

our fortunes,

and our sacred honor.

00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,988

P.S. every Thursday

should be 'free ice cream' day."

00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,702

Excuse me, but does this

declaration actually suggest

00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,996

that we should go to war

with England?

00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,998

We have no choice,

Mr. Dickinson.

00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,083

[All shouting]

00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,294

All right, everyone.

00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,798

Thank you all for coming out

to protest the war, m'kay!

00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,424

[Applause ]

00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,801

Don't kid yourselves.

00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,720

These people have come out

to support our troops, right?!

00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,430

[Applause]

00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,600

And now Randy Marsh is

gonna sing a protest song

00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,185

he wrote about the war.

00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,561

Oh, no, you don't!

00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,939

We're doing

our pro-war song first!

00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:34,815

Yeah!

00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,982

The last thing these people want

00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,443

is another bleeding-heart

rock protest song!

00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,155

People, I told you,

you have to share the stage.

00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,116

Nobody wants to hear another

pro-war country song!

00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,452

Well, excuse me if...

00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,580

♪ I'm a little bit country ♪

00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,125

♪ Well, I'm a little bit

rock 'n' roll-a ♪

00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,254

♪ I'm a little

for supportin' our troops ♪

00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,966

♪ And I'm a little

for bringin' 'em home ♪

00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,801

♪ I believe freedom isn't free ♪

00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,678

♪ No, but war shouldn't be

our goal ♪

00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,639

♪ We must defend our country ♪

00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,433

♪ If it means war,

then we say no ♪

00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,352

Yee-haw!

00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:16,898

♪ Did you forget them towers

in New York? ♪

00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,944

♪ Did you forget

how it made you feel ♪

00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,947

♪ To see them towers

come down? ♪

00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,699

♪ Were you like me? ♪

00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,494

♪ Did you think

it weren't real? ♪

00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:33,623

♪ I like to rock,

but I don't want to rock Iraq ♪

00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,420

♪ The only kind of rockin'

America should do ♪

00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,506

♪ Is the kind

that we can all dance to ♪

00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,509

♪ We've got GPS, ICBMs ♪

00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,470

♪ And good old-fashioned lead ♪

00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,807

♪ We're gonna show Saddam

what America means ♪

00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,560

♪ That son of a bitch

will be dead ♪

00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,521

♪ Why are we fightin'

this war? ♪

00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,900

♪ There's a man in the office

we didn't vote for ♪

00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,943

♪ They didn't give me a choice ♪

00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,362

♪ War is not my voice ♪

00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,197

♪ Yea-a-a-a-h! ♪

00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,241

[Men shouting]

00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,870

We must go to war!

00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,331

But what about the violence,

the lives lost?

00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,540

If we found a country,

00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,959

it should be founded on peace

and diplomacy!

00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,046

England will only understand

one thing -- force.

00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881

I must state again

for the record

00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,674

that South Carolina,

North Carolina,

00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,636

Pennsylvania, Maryland,

and Georgia are against war!

00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,221

Yeah, because you don't care

about the fate of the colonies

00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:31,306

like we do!

00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,807

You're all unpatriotic!

00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:36,353

And if you don't like the

colonies, then you can get out!

00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,063

Don't you call us unpatriotic!

00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,439

We are protesting this war

00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,983

because we care so deeply

for the fate of our colonies!

00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,235

You are all unpatriotic

for leading the colonies

00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,488

into a war that half of them

don't want!

00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,115

[All shouting]

00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,826

Whoa.

How very, very relevant.

00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,914

Tom, I'm standing

in the town square,

00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,624

where the war rally

has been going on

00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,043

for an incredible 87 hours.

00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,754

The crowd still appears to be

split right down the middle --

00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,507

half support country music and

the other half rock 'n' roll.

00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,675

Let's listen in.

00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,218

And now we'd like to bring out

00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,595

a couple of very special

South Park students

00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,056

who did a report

on what the founding fathers

00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,226

would have to say about the war.

00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,311

[Applause]

00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,813

[All]

Boo!

00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,440

For you people who still think

war is the answer,

00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:26,152

perhaps you can listen

to the voices...of the children.

00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,904

[Cheers and applause]

00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,993

Uh, we didn't do it.

00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,285

What?

00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,371

We didn't do our homework.

00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,415

Boys, you were supposed

to come out here

00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,750

and tell everyone

about the founding fathers!

00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,085

First we lost one study partner

00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,503

when Cartman put himself

in the hospital,

00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,504

and then they took Kenny away.

00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922

Then Kyle forgot

to set his clock ahead

00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,549

for Daylight Savings,

and we couldn't find anything

00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,842

in the history books

about Iraq --

00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,552

That's because

the founding fathers

00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,095

would have supported the war!

00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,931

The founding fathers

would have protested, like us!

00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,141

Support!

- Support!

00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,308

Protest!

- Protest!

00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,435

Country!

- Country!

00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,603

Rock 'n' roll!

- Rock 'n' roll!

00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,772

[All shouting]

00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,153

Aah!

00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,781

[All]

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,242

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536

We cannot found a country

based on war!

00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,039

We cannot found a country

that is afraid to fight!

00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:19,873

Rabble!

00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,000

[All]

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!

00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,085

[Down-tempo music plays]

Oh. Benjamin Franklin.

00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,837

Benjamin Franklin.

- Benjamin Franklin's here.

00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,589

It's Mr. Franklin.

- Franklin, Franklin.

00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,466

Oh, Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin, Franklin.

00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,633

Benjamin Franklin.

00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,345

Mr. Franklin, where do you stand

on the war issue?

00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,683

I believe that if we are to form

a new country,

00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,312

we cannot be a country that

appears war-hungry and violent

00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,980

to the rest of the world.

00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,316

However, we also cannot be

a country

00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,943

that appears weak

and unwilling to fight

00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,528

to the rest of the world.

00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:56,367

So, what if we form a country...

that appears to want both?

00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,330

Yes.

Yes, of course.

00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,831

We go to war...

00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,459

and protest going to war

at the same time!

00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,835

Right!

00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,003

If the people of our new country

00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,505

are allowed to do

whatever they wish,

00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,508

then some will support the war

and some will protest it.

00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,510

And that means that as a nation,

00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,012

we could go to war

with whomever we wished

00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,182

but at the same time

act like we didn't want to.

00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,476

If we allow the people

to protest

00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,769

what the government does,

00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:26,064

then the country will be

forever blameless.

00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,734

It's like having your cake

and eating it, too.

00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,238

Think of it -- an entire nation

founded on saying one thing

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,322

and doing another.

00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:40,203

And we will call that country

the United States of America.

00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,204

Wow!

00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,580

I get it now!

00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,915

I get it!

00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,333

Whoa.

Here goes.

00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,001

I wish I could

go back to my time...

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,504

to my time...

to -- to my time.

00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,131

[Monitor beeping]

00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,340

Wow!

00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,843

[All shouting]

00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,347

[Groans]

00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,311

[Glass shattering]

00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,480

Everyone, stop, please!

00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,731

[Shouting stops]

00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,191

The -- the child.

00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,818

The child from the hospital!

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,405

If you all don't mind, I would

like to do my report now.

00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,699

I know what the founding fathers

would say.

00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,576

He does?

- He does?

00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,994

I learned something today.

00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,246

This country was founded

by some of the smartest thinkers

00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,790

the world has ever seen,

and they knew one thing --

00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,042

that a truly great country

can go to war

00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,045

and at the same time

act like it doesn't want to.

00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,756

You people who are for the war,

you need the protesters

00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:36,134

because they make the country

look like it's made of sane,

00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,260

caring individuals.

00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,721

And you people who are antiwar,

you need these flag-wavers,

00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,181

because if our whole country

00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,224

was made up of nothing

but soft, pussy protesters,

00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,018

we'd get taken down in a second.

00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,520

That's why the founding fathers

decided we should have both.

00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,398

It's called having your cake

and eating it, too.

00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,150

He's right.

00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,776

The strength of this country

00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,112

is the ability to do one thing

and say another.

00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:59,032

Yeah, if it weren't

for all you guys protesting,

00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,451

everyone around the world

would hate the American people

00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,203

instead of just the president.

00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,788

And if it weren't for you people

flexing your arms,

00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,208

America could easily

get taken over by terrorists

00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,417

or -- or China.

00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,836

I guess we owe you an apology.

00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,755

And I-I guess we owe you one.

00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,632

[All]

Aw.

00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,050

Aw.

- Aw.

00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,468

Aw.

- Aw.

00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:19,636

Aw.

- Aw.

00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,054

Cartman?

00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,306

Cartman saved the day?

- Can't be.

00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,058

The founding fathers

want you all to know

00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,601

that we can disagree

all we want,

00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,811

as long as we agree

that America kicks ass.

00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,190

♪ Hey, I'm a little bit

country ♪

00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,026

♪ And I'm a little bit

rock 'n' roll-a ♪

00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,320

♪ I'll be the muscle

of America ♪

00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,157

♪ And me,

I'll be the caring soul ♪

00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,825

♪ And when you put us together ♪

00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,661

♪ You get a nation

with one goal ♪

00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,080

♪ To thrive and prosper ♪

00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,999

♪ With a little country

and rock 'n' roll ♪

00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,627

Come on up here, everybody!

00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,504

[Up-tempo music plays]

00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,673

[All]

♪ We're a little bit country ♪

00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,800

♪ We're a little bit

rock 'n' roll ♪

00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,469

We can be a nation

that believes in war...

00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,846

And still tells the world

that we don't.

00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,350

♪ Let the flag for hypocrisy

fly high from every pole ♪

00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,061

♪ 'Cause we're

a little bit country ♪

00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,563

♪ And we're a little bit

rock 'n' roll ♪

00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,274

Well, good night, everybody.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,943

It sure has been great

bringing you 100 episodes.

00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,570

We want to thank our guests,

the pro-war people...

00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:20,863

[Cheers and applause]

00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,824

...and the antiwar people.

00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:23,866

[Cheers and applause]

00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,159

What the hell

are they doing now?

00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:25,994

I-I don't know.

00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,080

♪ For the war,

against the war -- Who cares? ♪

00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:33,126

♪ 100 episodes ♪

00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,547

I hate this town.

I really, really do.