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Я люблю кантри
I'm a Little Bit Country
Сезон: 07Серия: 04
Описание
Друзья участвуют в антивоенной демонстрации. Картман путешествует в прошлое — во времена войны за независимость США.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,529 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,040 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
- 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,000 Did you take attendance, Mr. Slave?
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,501 All donesy-wonesy.
- 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,587 Okay, let's all take out our math homework
- 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,172 and go over the problems.
- 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,424 Math homework. Math homework.
- 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,967 Where did I file that?
- 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,219 Oh, and by the way, children, there's a walkout
- 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,597 scheduled today to protest the war in Iraq.
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,349 So if you're against the war, run along outside.
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:01:00,686 And if you're for the war, stay here and we'll do math problems.
- 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,151 ♪ We got out of school ♪
- 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,611 ♪ No more school today ♪
- 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,529 What should we do? - Let's go see a movie!
- 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,448 No war! No war!
- 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,076 No war! No war!
- 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,328 No war! No war!
- 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:20,664 No war! No war! No war!
- 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,458 No war, m'kay!
- 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,543 No war, m'kay!
- 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,463 Oh, uh, here you go, boys. These will help you protest.
- 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,633 It's good to see that you care about peace, boys, m'kay.
- 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,593 No war, m'kay!
- 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,012 Excuse me, boys. Tom Statsel, HBC News.
- 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,681 Can you tell me why you kids marched out of school today?
- 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,644 Uh...war?
- 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,229 Right. What about the war?
- 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,816 I-It's...It's gay?
- 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,944 Uh-huh, and what aspect of it do you think is most gay?
- 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:52,655 Uh, no blood for oil!
- 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,907 Yeah, war is not my voice.
- 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,076 Bush is a nay-zee.
- 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,662 Hey, all you un-American bastards!
- 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,915 If you don't like America, why don't you get out?
- 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,500 Yeah!
- 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,418 Don't you call us un-American!
- 00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:09,672 This country was founded on the right to protest, m'kay!
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,173 Yeah!
- 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,551 If the founding fathers saw you burning your flag
- 00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,302 and calling the president a Nazi,
- 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,846 they'd roll over in their graves!
- 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,347 Yeah!
- 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,767 The founding fathers would agree with our right to protest.
- 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,603 The founding fathers would kick all your asses!
- 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,439 Boys, what do you think the founding fathers would say?
- 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,526 T-The foggy who?
- 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,407 Well, I hope you little commies
- 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,908 are pretty pleased with yourselves --
- 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,702 going out there and protesting America
- 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,996 and then saying on national television
- 00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:44,415 that you don't even know who the founding fathers are!
- 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,334 You kids don't know squat about America, do you?!
- 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,713 W-Well, not really, no.
- 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,006 Well, that's just jingles,
- 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,383 because I'm assigning all you little flag burners
- 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,053 a full report on 1776 and the founding fathers!
- 00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:58,888 Aw!
- 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,348 Shut up! I want you all in your study groups of four.
- 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,142 And if you can't give an outstanding report
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,768 on what the founding fathers would have to say
- 00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:08,439 about all this protesting, then it's F's for you!
- 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,279 Ugh.
- 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,157 Uh-ugh.
- 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,618 I can't do it.
- 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,620 This is way too much material for a 9-year-old.
- 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,248 Oh, no, you don't, Cartman!
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,583 Every time we get put in a study group,
- 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,585 you sit on ass while the rest of us do all the work!
- 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,295 But you guys are such better studiers than me.
- 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,463 I know you can pull it off.
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,632 You're gonna read this stuff and study like the rest of us!
- 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,425 Myaaa!
- 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,927 M-M-Myaaa!
- 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,012 Shut up and study!
- 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,765 Myaaaa! Mya, mya.
- 00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:00,950 Hmm, 1776, when our founding fathers created America.
- 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,577 I wonder what it used to be like in those days...
- 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,120 in those days...
- 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,623 in those days...in those days.
- 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,832 What are you doing?
- 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,459 I'm trying to have a flashback.
- 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,168 A mrph?
- 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,419 You know, if I have a flashback,
- 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,172 then I can see what 1776 was like firsthand.
- 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,465 No, you just have to study.
- 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,968 No. I've seen this work before. Just give me a second.
- 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,427 Oh, okay, okay. How about this?
- 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,138 Say, guys, 1776 was so long ago.
- 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,516 I wonder what life would have been like back then...
- 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,685 back then...back then...
- 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,019 back then.
- 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,151 Uh...Oh, wait, wait. I know, I know.
- 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,488 You know, guys, I don't even care about 1776.
- 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,656 It was so long ago
- 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,825 that I don't think it has anything to do with me...
- 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,285 with me...
- 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,328 with -- anything to do with me...
- 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,454 with me.
- 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,956 That isn't gonna work, dumbass!
- 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,500 Kids, let's keep it down for study groups
- 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,169 or else Mr. Garrison's going to punish me.
- 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,338 Just face it, Cartman. You're gonna have to study!
- 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,756 Myaaa!
- 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550 M-M-M-Myaaa!
- 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,013 There. All finished.
- 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,099 From now on, this is the pro-war side of town,
- 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,768 and that's the unpatriotic side.
- 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,270 Yeah! - That's right!
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,897 How about we call <i>this</i> the rational side of town
- 00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,899 and <i>that</i> the redneck side?!
- 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,111 You just keep all your flag burning
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,364 and your hippie-rock protest songs on your side of the town!
- 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,741 Hey, wait a minute.
- 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,826 Your side of town has the post office.
- 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,953 Well, your side has the grocery store.
- 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,205 You can come to our side of town to use the post office
- 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,541 if we can go to your side to use the grocery store.
- 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,336 Uh, can we cross the line to take our kids to school?
- 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,379 Well, naturally, you can cross the line for that,
- 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,132 just like we can cross the line for hardware supplies, gas,
- 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,342 and pharmaceutical needs.
- 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,593 Yeah, okay. - That's good.
- 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:45,596 Hey, everybody, this is never gonna work.
- 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:46,889 Don't you see?
- 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,100 All this dividin' up the town -- It's just ridiculous.
- 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,061 What we really should be doing
- 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,564 is just beating the hell out of each other like we were.
- 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,400 He's right. Boy, do I feel like a fool.
- 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,572 Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,574 You're supposed to be studying! - That's what I'm doing.
- 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,326 I'm about to find out all about what happened
- 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,161 back in 1776. - How?
- 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,205 All I have to do is be thinking about American history
- 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,373 when I walk through this doorway.
- 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,708 I'll trip the rope, causing the rock to fall on my head,
- 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,085 and then I will have a flashback
- 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,669 to the times of our founding fathers!
- 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,047 Cartman, you are hereby declared a full-fledged retard.
- 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,757 Make fun of me all you want, Kyle,
- 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,008 but I will have the last laugh.
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,843 Gentlemen, if you will clear the doorway, please.
- 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:34,728 Oh, gee, I wonder what it used to be like in the year 1776.
- 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,942 Derh.
- 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,068 Derh...
- 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,444 Cartman?
- 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,737 Cartman!
- 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,531 Benjamin Franklin?
- 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,157 No, turd pants, it's Kyle!
- 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,242 Kyle.
- 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:52,913 Get out of my flashback, you goddamn Jew.
- 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,625 Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,711 Okay, people. What are we rabbling about now?
- 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,088 Mayor, our peace rally
- 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,965 has always been set for this Saturday.
- 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,967 And now these pro-war bastards
- 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,428 are suddenly trying to say they get the town square.
- 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,804 That's bull crap, Mayor!
- 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,474 Our rally to support the war was set up months ago.
- 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,351 There was no <i>war</i> months ago!
- 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,479 Hey, if you don't like America, then you can get out!
- 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,647 Look, nobody wants to hear
- 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,692 a bunch of twangy-country-music, pro-war propaganda.
- 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,611 Nobody wants to hear a bunch of rock protest songs!
- 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:25,821 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,197 Up yours, rednecks!
- 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,490 Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,785 Quiet, people! The town square is public space.
- 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,870 That means if neither group
- 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,372 will nicely and maturely move the day of its rally,
- 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,208 I'll just have to give the town square to both groups.
- 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,501 All right! That's fine!
- 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,588 Because our war-support songs will be a thousand times better!
- 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,548 Oh, you think so? Bring the shizzle.
- 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,717 We'll trizzle the shizzle all over the hizzle.
- 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,302 Yeah? See you Saturday,
- 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:52,097 McKizzer shanizzernilla shazz beyaznatch kazizza.
- 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,308 Cartman? - Cartman?
- 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,643 You better be studying, God damn it.
- 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,896 Ah, Stan, Kyle, Kenny. You're just in time.
- 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,314 Oh, no. - Oh, yes!
- 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,607 I am just about to flash back
- 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,025 to the days of our founding fathers.
- 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,443 Cartman, you're supposed to be studying!
- 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,444 What the hell is all this?
- 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,279 I have programmed TiVo to record over 50 hours
- 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,280 of the History Channel.
- 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,656 When TiVo is full, both TiVo and I
- 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:10,657 will be dropped into the water,
- 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,950 combining our electro-whatever fields
- 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,702 and sending me into a flashback of history.
- 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038 Uh, Cartman, I think that's a really bad idea.
- 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,247 Or a really sweet one.
- 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,916 Your TiVo is full.
- 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:20,542 Oh, here goes!
- 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,261 Cartman?
- 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,763 Cartman?
- 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,306 Aw, crap.
- 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,689 Oh, awesome!
- 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,108 Oi, there, young lad! Are you all right?
- 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,693 Yeah, yeah. Can you tell me what year it is?
- 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,279 This year? Why, it's 1776, it is.
- 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,782 Oh, yes! I did it! I did it!
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,158 Would you like a ride into town?
- 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,035 I'm on my way to Master Thomas Jefferson's house
- 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,620 to get a very important document, I am.
- 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,123 Oh, kick fuckin' ass, dude!
- 00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,042 Never seen you around here, friend.
- 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,168 Might ye be from up north?
- 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,462 No, I'm not from here at all. I'm having a flashback.
- 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,548 A flashback? Why, what is that?
- 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,008 Well, you know, it's a -- Oh, awesome!
- 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,510 ♪ Look at me ♪
- 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,137 ♪ I'm back in time, in 1776 ♪
- 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,598 ♪ With gaslight corners, cobblestone streets ♪
- 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141 ♪ And humble houses made of bricks ♪
- 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,394 ♪ What a special, magic time ♪
- 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,145 ♪ And it's all alive for me ♪
- 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,606 ♪ I'm so glad Stan and Kyle aren't here ♪
- 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,068 ♪ I hate those guys, seriously ♪
- 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,445 ♪ Seriously hate those guys ♪
- 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,031 ♪ Hate Stan and Kyle ♪
- 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,997 Is he going to be all right, Doctor?
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,415 Your son tried to kill himself
- 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,750 in a ritualistic fashion I've never seen before.
- 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044 His chances of surviving are very slim.
- 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,838 I'm so sorry.
- 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,881 Oh, baby. Baby, you can't die!
- 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,675 Yeah. We have a report to do, asshole.
- 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,843 Get up! Get up!
- 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,095 Ooh. Easy, Kyle. - But it's not fair!
- 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,139 We have to do a full report on the founding fathers,
- 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,141 and -- and Cartman got out of helping us again!
- 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,018 I guess we're just gonna have to do it with the three of us.
- 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,936 Come on, guys.
- 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,230 I know you're in a very dark place now, sweetie,
- 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,982 but you must come toward the light.
- 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,525 Come toward the light!
- 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,278 Here we are, then --
- 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,280 the current residence of Master Thomas Jefferson.
- 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,573 Super neato!
- 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,492 I'm afraid you'll have to wait here.
- 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,077 But I need to talk to the founding fathers
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,078 to do my report.
- 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,164 Sorry, only the official messenger boy
- 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,915 is allowed to talk to Mr. Jefferson.
- 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:27,044 Oh, okay. I guess I understand.
- 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,378 ♪ I don't want to wait ♪
- 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,922 ♪ For our lives to be over ♪
- 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,469 ♪ I don't want to wait ♪
- 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,472 ♪ For our lives to be over ♪
- 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,602 Hello. I am Thomas Jefferson.
- 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,979 And I am the official messenger boy, I am!
- 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,147 Very well.
- 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,608 Take this document to the Continental Congress.
- 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,402 Wow. The Declaration of Independence Day.
- 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,446 Some favor going to war with England,
- 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,782 and others want to avoid war at all costs.
- 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:57,908 It's a bitch, ain't it?
- 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,285 Perhaps this document will make the reasons for war
- 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,370 obvious to all.
- 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,746 Good luck, young messenger.
- 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,331 Now make haste!
- 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,960 Okay, so Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence.
- 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,337 Then the Continental Congress --
- 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,172 No war! No war! No war!
- 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,840 Oh, Jesus.
- 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,842 Uh, boys, would you mind clearing the living room?
- 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,303 We have to practice our big war-protest song.
- 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,429 Dad, we have to study.
- 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,056 Mr. Garrison is making us do a presentation
- 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,891 on what the founding fathers would say about the war.
- 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,519 Hey, that's a terrific idea!
- 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,979 Yeah! We could have the boys do their presentation
- 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940 as part of our peace rally on Saturday!
- 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,525 Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
- 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,901 Support our troops!
- 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,486 Support our troops!
- 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,530 See? I told you they had your son!
- 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,198 Kenny, what are you doing over here
- 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,866 with all these un-American traitors?
- 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,243 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,704 The boys are going to give a presentation at <i>our</i> rally
- 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,080 about how the founding fathers
- 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,082 would agree with our right to protest.
- 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,500 What?! No! - What?! Oh, no!
- 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,210 Actually, we hadn't really come to a --
- 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,463 Look, my son is a patriot and loves his country!
- 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:54,923 - Come on, Kenny! - Mrph rmh --
- 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,383 Now! - Yeah!
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,509 Support our troops!
- 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,677 Support our troops!
- 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,846 Oh, Kenny, n-- Oh! Aw.
- 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,973 Aw, now we lost two in our study group!
- 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,141 God damn it!
- 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,101 Can you believe those hick sons of bitches?
- 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,311 Manipulating their kids into being on their side.
- 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,646 Disgraceful!
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,023 Stan and Kyle, it's up to you to show all those warmongers
- 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,859 that the founding fathers agree with us!
- 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,445 Yeah, that's right! Let's get back to work!
- 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,322 Do you think kids in every town have to deal with this crap?
- 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,163 Enter, young messenger!
- 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,881 I am John Hancock, president of the Congress.
- 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:36,965 Wow!
- 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,383 Mr. John Adams?
- 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,384 Aye.
- 00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,594 Will you do the honors
- 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,971 of reading the document to Congress, please?
- 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,433 "When in the course of human events,
- 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,810 it becomes necessary for one people to..."
- 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,021 "...we mutually pledge to each other our lives,
- 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:54,107 our fortunes, and our sacred honor.
- 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,988 P.S. every Thursday should be 'free ice cream' day."
- 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,702 Excuse me, but does this declaration actually suggest
- 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,996 that we should go to war with England?
- 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,998 We have no choice, Mr. Dickinson.
- 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,294 All right, everyone.
- 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,798 Thank you all for coming out to protest the war, m'kay!
- 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,801 Don't kid yourselves.
- 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,720 These people have come out to support our troops, right?!
- 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,600 And now Randy Marsh is gonna sing a protest song
- 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,185 he wrote about the war.
- 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,561 Oh, no, you don't!
- 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,939 We're doing our pro-war song first!
- 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:34,815 Yeah!
- 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,982 The last thing these people want
- 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,443 is another bleeding-heart rock protest song!
- 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,155 People, I told you, you have to share the stage.
- 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,116 Nobody wants to hear another pro-war country song!
- 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,452 Well, excuse me if...
- 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,580 ♪ I'm a little bit country ♪
- 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,125 ♪ Well, I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll-a ♪
- 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,254 ♪ I'm a little for supportin' our troops ♪
- 00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,966 ♪ And I'm a little for bringin' 'em home ♪
- 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,801 ♪ I believe freedom isn't free ♪
- 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,678 ♪ No, but war shouldn't be our goal ♪
- 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,639 ♪ We must defend our country ♪
- 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,433 ♪ If it means war, then we say no ♪
- 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,352 Yee-haw!
- 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:16,898 ♪ Did you forget them towers in New York? ♪
- 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,944 ♪ Did you forget how it made you feel ♪
- 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,947 ♪ To see them towers come down? ♪
- 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,699 ♪ Were you like me? ♪
- 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,494 ♪ Did you think it weren't real? ♪
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:33,623 ♪ I like to rock, but I don't want to rock Iraq ♪
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,420 ♪ The only kind of rockin' America should do ♪
- 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,506 ♪ Is the kind that we can all dance to ♪
- 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,509 ♪ We've got GPS, ICBMs ♪
- 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,470 ♪ And good old-fashioned lead ♪
- 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,807 ♪ We're gonna show Saddam what America means ♪
- 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,560 ♪ That son of a bitch will be dead ♪
- 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,521 ♪ Why are we fightin' this war? ♪
- 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,900 ♪ There's a man in the office we didn't vote for ♪
- 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,943 ♪ They didn't give me a choice ♪
- 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,362 ♪ War is not my voice ♪
- 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,197 ♪ Yea-a-a-a-h! ♪
- 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,870 We must go to war!
- 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,331 But what about the violence, the lives lost?
- 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,540 If we found a country,
- 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,959 it should be founded on peace and diplomacy!
- 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,046 England will only understand one thing -- force.
- 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881 I must state again for the record
- 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,674 that South Carolina, North Carolina,
- 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,636 Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Georgia are against war!
- 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,221 Yeah, because you don't care about the fate of the colonies
- 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:31,306 like we do!
- 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,807 You're all unpatriotic!
- 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:36,353 And if you don't like the colonies, then you can get out!
- 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,063 Don't you call <i>us</i> unpatriotic!
- 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,439 We are protesting this war
- 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,983 because we care so <i>deeply</i> for the fate of our colonies!
- 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,235 You are all unpatriotic for leading the colonies
- 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,488 into a war that half of them don't want!
- 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,826 Whoa. How very, very relevant.
- 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,914 Tom, I'm standing in the town square,
- 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,624 where the war rally has been going on
- 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,043 for an incredible 87 hours.
- 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,754 The crowd still appears to be split right down the middle --
- 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,507 half support country music and the other half rock 'n' roll.
- 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,675 Let's listen in.
- 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,218 And now we'd like to bring out
- 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,595 a couple of very special South Park students
- 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,056 who did a report on what the founding fathers
- 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,226 would have to say about the war.
- 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,813 Boo!
- 00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,440 For you people who still think war is the answer,
- 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:26,152 perhaps you can listen to the voices...of the children.
- 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,993 Uh, we didn't do it.
- 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,285 What?
- 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,371 We didn't do our homework.
- 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,415 Boys, you were supposed to come out here
- 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,750 and tell everyone about the founding fathers!
- 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,085 First we lost one study partner
- 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,503 when Cartman put himself in the hospital,
- 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,504 and then they took Kenny away.
- 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922 Then Kyle forgot to set his clock ahead
- 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,549 for Daylight Savings, and we couldn't find anything
- 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,842 in the history books about Iraq --
- 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,552 That's because the founding fathers
- 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,095 would have supported the war!
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,931 The founding fathers would have protested, like us!
- 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,141 Support! - Support!
- 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,308 Protest! - Protest!
- 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,435 Country! - Country!
- 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,603 Rock 'n' roll! - Rock 'n' roll!
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,153 Aah!
- 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,781 Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,242 Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536 We cannot found a country based on war!
- 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,039 We cannot found a country that is afraid to fight!
- 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:19,873 Rabble!
- 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,000 Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,085 Oh. Benjamin Franklin.
- 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,837 Benjamin Franklin. - Benjamin Franklin's here.
- 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,589 It's Mr. Franklin. - Franklin, Franklin.
- 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,466 Oh, Benjamin Franklin. Franklin, Franklin.
- 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,633 Benjamin Franklin.
- 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,345 Mr. Franklin, where do you stand on the war issue?
- 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,683 I believe that if we are to form a new country,
- 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,312 we cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent
- 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,980 to the rest of the world.
- 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,316 However, we also cannot be a country
- 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,943 that appears weak and unwilling to fight
- 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,528 to the rest of the world.
- 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:56,367 So, what if we form a country... that appears to want both?
- 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,330 Yes. Yes, of course.
- 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,831 We go to war...
- 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,459 and protest going to war at the same time!
- 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,835 Right!
- 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,003 If the people of our new country
- 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,505 are allowed to do whatever they wish,
- 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,508 then some will support the war and some will protest it.
- 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,510 And that means that as a nation,
- 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,012 we could go to war with whomever we wished
- 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,182 but at the same time act like we didn't want to.
- 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,476 If we allow the people to protest
- 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,769 what the government does,
- 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:26,064 then the country will be forever blameless.
- 00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,734 It's like having your cake and eating it, too.
- 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,238 Think of it -- an entire nation founded on saying one thing
- 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,322 and doing another.
- 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:40,203 And we will call that country the United States of America.
- 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,204 Wow!
- 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,580 I get it now!
- 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,915 I get it!
- 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,333 Whoa. Here goes.
- 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,001 I wish I could go back to my time...
- 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,504 to my time... to -- to my time.
- 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,340 Wow!
- 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,480 Everyone, stop, please!
- 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,191 The -- the child.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,818 The child from the hospital!
- 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,405 If you all don't mind, I would like to do my report now.
- 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,699 I know what the founding fathers would say.
- 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,576 He does? - He does?
- 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,994 I learned something today.
- 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,246 This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers
- 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,790 the world has ever seen, and they knew one thing --
- 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,042 that a truly great country can go to war
- 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,045 and at the same time act like it doesn't want to.
- 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,756 You people who are for the war, you need the protesters
- 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:36,134 because they make the country look like it's made of sane,
- 00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,260 caring individuals.
- 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,721 And you people who are antiwar, you need these flag-wavers,
- 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,181 because if our whole country
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,224 was made up of nothing but soft, pussy protesters,
- 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,018 we'd get taken down in a second.
- 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,520 That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both.
- 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,398 It's called having your cake and eating it, too.
- 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,150 He's right.
- 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,776 The strength of this country
- 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,112 is the ability to do one thing and say another.
- 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:59,032 Yeah, if it weren't for all you guys protesting,
- 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,451 everyone around the world would hate the American people
- 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,203 instead of just the president.
- 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,788 And if it weren't for you people flexing your arms,
- 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,208 America could easily get taken over by terrorists
- 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,417 or -- or China.
- 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,836 I guess we owe you an apology.
- 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,755 And I-I guess we owe <i>you</i> one.
- 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,632 Aw.
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,050 Aw. - Aw.
- 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,468 Aw. - Aw.
- 00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:19,636 Aw. - Aw.
- 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,054 Cartman?
- 00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,306 Cartman saved the day? - Can't be.
- 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,058 The founding fathers want you all to know
- 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,601 that we can disagree all we want,
- 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,811 as long as we agree that America kicks ass.
- 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,190 ♪ Hey, I'm a little bit country ♪
- 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,026 ♪ And I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll-a ♪
- 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,320 ♪ I'll be the muscle of America ♪
- 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,157 ♪ And me, I'll be the caring soul ♪
- 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,825 ♪ And when you put us together ♪
- 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,661 ♪ You get a nation with one goal ♪
- 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,080 ♪ To thrive and prosper ♪
- 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,999 ♪ With a little country and rock 'n' roll ♪
- 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,627 Come on up here, everybody!
- 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,673 ♪ We're a little bit country ♪
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,800 ♪ We're a little bit rock 'n' roll ♪
- 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,469 We can be a nation that believes in war...
- 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,846 And still tells the world that we don't.
- 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,350 ♪ Let the flag for hypocrisy fly high from every pole ♪
- 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,061 ♪ 'Cause we're a little bit country ♪
- 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,563 ♪ And we're a little bit rock 'n' roll ♪
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,274 Well, good night, everybody.
- 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,943 It sure has been great bringing you 100 episodes.
- 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,570 We want to thank our guests, the pro-war people...
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,824 ...and the antiwar people.
- 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,159 What the hell are they doing now?
- 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:25,994 I-I don't know.
- 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,080 ♪ For the war, against the war -- Who cares? ♪
- 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:33,126 ♪ 100 episodes ♪
- 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,547 I hate this town. I really, really do.
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,529 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,370 [Bell rings]
- 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,040 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
- 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,000 Did you take attendance, Mr. Slave?
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,501 All donesy-wonesy.
- 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,587 Okay, let's all take out our math homework
- 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,172 and go over the problems.
- 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:48,424 Math homework. Math homework.
- 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,967 Where did I file that?
- 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,219 Oh, and by the way, children, there's a walkout
- 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,597 scheduled today to protest the war in Iraq.
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,349 So if you're against the war, run along outside.
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:01:00,686 And if you're for the war, stay here and we'll do math problems.
- 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,649 [Cheering]
- 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,151 ♪ We got out of school ♪
- 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,611 ♪ No more school today ♪
- 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,529 What should we do? - Let's go see a movie!
- 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,448 [Crowd chanting] No war! No war!
- 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,076 No war! No war!
- 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,328 No war! No war!
- 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:20,664 No war! No war! No war!
- 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,458 No war, m'kay!
- 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,543 No war, m'kay!
- 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,463 Oh, uh, here you go, boys. These will help you protest.
- 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,633 It's good to see that you care about peace, boys, m'kay.
- 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,593 No war, m'kay!
- 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,012 Excuse me, boys. Tom Statsel, HBC News.
- 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,681 Can you tell me why you kids marched out of school today?
- 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,644 Uh...war?
- 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,229 Right. What about the war?
- 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,816 I-It's...It's gay?
- 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,944 Uh-huh, and what aspect of it do you think is most gay?
- 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:52,655 Uh, no blood for oil!
- 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,907 Yeah, war is not my voice.
- 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,076 Bush is a nay-zee.
- 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,662 Hey, all you un-American bastards!
- 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,915 If you don't like America, why don't you get out?
- 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,500 [All] Yeah!
- 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,418 Don't you call us un-American!
- 00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:09,672 This country was founded on the right to protest, m'kay!
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,173 [All] Yeah!
- 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,551 If the founding fathers saw you burning your flag
- 00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,302 and calling the president a Nazi,
- 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,846 they'd roll over in their graves!
- 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,347 [All] Yeah!
- 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,767 The founding fathers would agree with our right to protest.
- 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,603 The founding fathers would kick all your asses!
- 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,439 Boys, what do you think the founding fathers would say?
- 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,526 T-The foggy who?
- 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,778 [All shouting]
- 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,407 Well, I hope you little commies
- 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,908 are pretty pleased with yourselves --
- 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,702 going out there and protesting America
- 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,996 and then saying on national television
- 00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:44,415 that you don't even know who the founding fathers are!
- 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,334 You kids don't know squat about America, do you?!
- 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,713 W-Well, not really, no.
- 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,006 Well, that's just jingles,
- 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,383 because I'm assigning all you little flag burners
- 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,053 a full report on 1776 and the founding fathers!
- 00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:58,888 [All] Aw!
- 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,348 Shut up! I want you all in your study groups of four.
- 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,142 And if you can't give an outstanding report
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,768 on what the founding fathers would have to say
- 00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:08,439 about all this protesting, then it's F's for you!
- 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,482 [Bell rings]
- 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,279 Ugh.
- 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,157 Uh-ugh.
- 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,618 I can't do it.
- 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,620 This is way too much material for a 9-year-old.
- 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,914 [Yawns, smacks lips]
- 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,248 Oh, no, you don't, Cartman!
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,583 Every time we get put in a study group,
- 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,585 you sit on ass while the rest of us do all the work!
- 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,295 But you guys are such better studiers than me.
- 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,463 I know you can pull it off.
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,632 You're gonna read this stuff and study like the rest of us!
- 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,425 Myaaa!
- 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,927 M-M-Myaaa!
- 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,012 Shut up and study!
- 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,765 Myaaaa! Mya, mya.
- 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,393 [Whimpering]
- 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,731 [Groaning]
- 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,193 [Sighs]
- 00:03:56,403 --> 00:04:00,950 Hmm, 1776, when our founding fathers created America.
- 00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,577 I wonder what it used to be like in those days...
- 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,120 in those days...
- 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,623 in those days...in those days.
- 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,832 What are you doing?
- 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,459 I'm trying to have a flashback.
- 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,168 A mrph?
- 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,419 You know, if I have a flashback,
- 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,172 then I can see what 1776 was like firsthand.
- 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,465 No, you just have to study.
- 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,968 No. I've seen this work before. Just give me a second.
- 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,427 Oh, okay, okay. How about this?
- 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,138 Say, guys, 1776 was so long ago.
- 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,516 I wonder what life would have been like back then...
- 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,685 back then...back then...
- 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,019 back then.
- 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,272 [Choir vocalizing]
- 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,151 Uh...Oh, wait, wait. I know, I know.
- 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,488 You know, guys, I don't even care about 1776.
- 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,656 It was so long ago
- 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,825 that I don't think it has anything to do with me...
- 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,285 with me...
- 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,328 with -- anything to do with me...
- 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,454 with me.
- 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,956 That isn't gonna work, dumbass!
- 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,500 Kids, let's keep it down for study groups
- 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,169 or else Mr. Garrison's going to punish me.
- 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,338 Just face it, Cartman. You're gonna have to study!
- 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,756 Myaaa!
- 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,550 M-M-M-Myaaa!
- 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:02,594 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,013 There. All finished.
- 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,099 From now on, this is the pro-war side of town,
- 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,768 and that's the unpatriotic side.
- 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,270 Yeah! - That's right!
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,897 How about we call <i>this</i> the rational side of town
- 00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:15,899 and <i>that</i> the redneck side?!
- 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,026 [Laughter]
- 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,111 You just keep all your flag burning
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,364 and your hippie-rock protest songs on your side of the town!
- 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,741 Hey, wait a minute.
- 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,826 Your side of town has the post office.
- 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,953 Well, your side has the grocery store.
- 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,205 You can come to our side of town to use the post office
- 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,541 if we can go to your side to use the grocery store.
- 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,336 Uh, can we cross the line to take our kids to school?
- 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,379 Well, naturally, you can cross the line for that,
- 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,132 just like we can cross the line for hardware supplies, gas,
- 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,342 and pharmaceutical needs.
- 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,593 Yeah, okay. - That's good.
- 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:45,596 Hey, everybody, this is never gonna work.
- 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:46,889 Don't you see?
- 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,100 All this dividin' up the town -- It's just ridiculous.
- 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,061 What we really should be doing
- 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,564 is just beating the hell out of each other like we were.
- 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,400 He's right. Boy, do I feel like a fool.
- 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,487 [All shouting]
- 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,572 Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,574 You're supposed to be studying! - That's what I'm doing.
- 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,326 I'm about to find out all about what happened
- 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,161 back in 1776. - How?
- 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,205 All I have to do is be thinking about American history
- 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,373 when I walk through this doorway.
- 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,708 I'll trip the rope, causing the rock to fall on my head,
- 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,085 and then I will have a flashback
- 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,669 to the times of our founding fathers!
- 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,047 Cartman, you are hereby declared a full-fledged retard.
- 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,757 Make fun of me all you want, Kyle,
- 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,008 but I will have the last laugh.
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,843 Gentlemen, if you will clear the doorway, please.
- 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,391 [Clears throat]
- 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:34,728 Oh, gee, I wonder what it used to be like in the year 1776.
- 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:35,938 [Grunts]
- 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,942 Derh.
- 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,068 Derh...
- 00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,444 Cartman?
- 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,737 Cartman!
- 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,531 Benjamin Franklin?
- 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,157 No, turd pants, it's Kyle!
- 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,242 Kyle.
- 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:52,913 Get out of my flashback, you goddamn Jew.
- 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,625 [All] Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,711 Okay, people. What are we rabbling about now?
- 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,088 Mayor, our peace rally
- 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,965 has always been set for this Saturday.
- 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,967 And now these pro-war bastards
- 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,428 are suddenly trying to say they get the town square.
- 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,804 That's bull crap, Mayor!
- 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,474 Our rally to support the war was set up months ago.
- 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,351 There was no <i>war</i> months ago!
- 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,479 Hey, if you don't like America, then you can get out!
- 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,647 Look, nobody wants to hear
- 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,692 a bunch of twangy-country-music, pro-war propaganda.
- 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,611 Nobody wants to hear a bunch of rock protest songs!
- 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:25,821 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,197 Up yours, rednecks!
- 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,490 [All] Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,785 Quiet, people! The town square is public space.
- 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,870 That means if neither group
- 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,372 will nicely and maturely move the day of its rally,
- 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,208 I'll just have to give the town square to both groups.
- 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,501 All right! That's fine!
- 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,588 Because our war-support songs will be a thousand times better!
- 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,548 Oh, you think so? Bring the shizzle.
- 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,717 We'll trizzle the shizzle all over the hizzle.
- 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,302 Yeah? See you Saturday,
- 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:52,097 McKizzer shanizzernilla shazz beyaznatch kazizza.
- 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,308 Cartman? - Cartman?
- 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,643 You better be studying, God damn it.
- 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,896 Ah, Stan, Kyle, Kenny. You're just in time.
- 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:00,314 Oh, no. - Oh, yes!
- 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:01,607 I am just about to flash back
- 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,025 to the days of our founding fathers.
- 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,443 Cartman, you're supposed to be studying!
- 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,444 What the hell is all this?
- 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,279 I have programmed TiVo to record over 50 hours
- 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,280 of the History Channel.
- 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,656 When TiVo is full, both TiVo and I
- 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:10,657 will be dropped into the water,
- 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,950 combining our electro-whatever fields
- 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,702 and sending me into a flashback of history.
- 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038 Uh, Cartman, I think that's a really bad idea.
- 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,247 Or a really sweet one.
- 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,916 [Bell chimes, Announcer speaks] Your TiVo is full.
- 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:20,542 Oh, here goes!
- 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,003 [Electricity crackling, Cartman screaming]
- 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,261 Cartman?
- 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,763 Cartman?
- 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,306 Aw, crap.
- 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,184 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,689 Oh, awesome!
- 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,108 Oi, there, young lad! Are you all right?
- 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,693 Yeah, yeah. Can you tell me what year it is?
- 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,279 This year? Why, it's 1776, it is.
- 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,782 Oh, yes! I did it! I did it!
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,158 Would you like a ride into town?
- 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,035 I'm on my way to Master Thomas Jefferson's house
- 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,620 to get a very important document, I am.
- 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,123 Oh, kick fuckin' ass, dude!
- 00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,042 Never seen you around here, friend.
- 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,168 Might ye be from up north?
- 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,462 No, I'm not from here at all. I'm having a flashback.
- 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,548 A flashback? Why, what is that?
- 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,008 Well, you know, it's a -- Oh, awesome! [Laughs]
- 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,510 ♪ Look at me ♪
- 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,137 ♪ I'm back in time, in 1776 ♪
- 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,598 ♪ With gaslight corners, cobblestone streets ♪
- 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141 ♪ And humble houses made of bricks ♪
- 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,394 ♪ What a special, magic time ♪
- 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,145 ♪ And it's all alive for me ♪
- 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,606 ♪ I'm so glad Stan and Kyle aren't here ♪
- 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,068 ♪ I hate those guys, seriously ♪
- 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,445 ♪ Seriously hate those guys ♪
- 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,031 ♪ Hate Stan and Kyle ♪
- 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,036 [Monitor beeping]
- 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,997 Is he going to be all right, Doctor?
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,415 Your son tried to kill himself
- 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,750 in a ritualistic fashion I've never seen before.
- 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044 His chances of surviving are very slim.
- 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,838 I'm so sorry.
- 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,881 Oh, baby. Baby, you can't die!
- 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,675 Yeah. We have a report to do, asshole.
- 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,843 Get up! Get up!
- 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,095 Ooh. Easy, Kyle. - But it's not fair!
- 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,139 We have to do a full report on the founding fathers,
- 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,141 and -- and Cartman got out of helping us again!
- 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,018 I guess we're just gonna have to do it with the three of us.
- 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,936 Come on, guys.
- 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,230 I know you're in a very dark place now, sweetie,
- 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,982 but you must come toward the light.
- 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,525 Come toward the light!
- 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,985 [Mid-tempo music plays]
- 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,278 Here we are, then --
- 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,280 the current residence of Master Thomas Jefferson.
- 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,573 Super neato!
- 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,492 I'm afraid you'll have to wait here.
- 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,077 But I need to talk to the founding fathers
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,078 to do my report.
- 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,164 Sorry, only the official messenger boy
- 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,915 is allowed to talk to Mr. Jefferson.
- 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:27,044 Oh, okay. I guess I understand.
- 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,378 ♪ I don't want to wait ♪
- 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,922 ♪ For our lives to be over ♪
- 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,092 [Screaming]
- 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,469 ♪ I don't want to wait ♪
- 00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,472 ♪ For our lives to be over ♪
- 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:41,058 [ Knock on door ]
- 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,602 Hello. I am Thomas Jefferson.
- 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,979 And I am the official messenger boy, I am!
- 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,147 Very well.
- 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,608 Take this document to the Continental Congress.
- 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,402 Wow. The Declaration of Independence Day.
- 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,446 Some favor going to war with England,
- 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,782 and others want to avoid war at all costs.
- 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:57,908 It's a bitch, ain't it?
- 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,285 Perhaps this document will make the reasons for war
- 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,370 obvious to all.
- 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,746 Good luck, young messenger.
- 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,331 Now make haste!
- 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,960 Okay, so Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence.
- 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,337 Then the Continental Congress --
- 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,172 [All Chanting] No war! No war! No war!
- 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,840 Oh, Jesus.
- 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,842 Uh, boys, would you mind clearing the living room?
- 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,303 We have to practice our big war-protest song.
- 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,429 Dad, we have to study.
- 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,056 Mr. Garrison is making us do a presentation
- 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,891 on what the founding fathers would say about the war.
- 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,519 Hey, that's a terrific idea!
- 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,979 Yeah! We could have the boys do their presentation
- 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940 as part of our peace rally on Saturday!
- 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,525 Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
- 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:32,901 [All Chanting] Support our troops!
- 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,486 Support our troops!
- 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,530 See? I told you they had your son!
- 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,198 Kenny, what are you doing over here
- 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,866 with all these un-American traitors?
- 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,243 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,704 The boys are going to give a presentation at <i>our</i> rally
- 00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,080 about how the founding fathers
- 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,082 would agree with our right to protest.
- 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,500 What?! No! - What?! Oh, no!
- 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,210 Actually, we hadn't really come to a --
- 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,463 Look, my son is a patriot and loves his country!
- 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:54,923 - Come on, Kenny! - Mrph rmh --
- 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,383 Now! - Yeah!
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,509 [All Chanting] Support our troops!
- 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,677 Support our troops!
- 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,846 Oh, Kenny, n-- Oh! Aw.
- 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,973 Aw, now we lost two in our study group!
- 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,141 God damn it!
- 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,101 Can you believe those hick sons of bitches?
- 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,311 Manipulating their kids into being on their side.
- 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:09,646 Disgraceful!
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,023 Stan and Kyle, it's up to you to show all those warmongers
- 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,859 that the founding fathers agree with us!
- 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,445 Yeah, that's right! Let's get back to work!
- 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,322 Do you think kids in every town have to deal with this crap?
- 00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:22,743 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:26,163 Enter, young messenger!
- 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,881 I am John Hancock, president of the Congress.
- 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:36,965 Wow!
- 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,383 Mr. John Adams?
- 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,384 Aye.
- 00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,594 Will you do the honors
- 00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,971 of reading the document to Congress, please?
- 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,433 "When in the course of human events,
- 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,810 it becomes necessary for one people to..."
- 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,021 "...we mutually pledge to each other our lives,
- 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:54,107 our fortunes, and our sacred honor.
- 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,988 P.S. every Thursday should be 'free ice cream' day."
- 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,702 Excuse me, but does this declaration actually suggest
- 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,996 that we should go to war with England?
- 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,998 We have no choice, Mr. Dickinson.
- 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,083 [All shouting]
- 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,294 All right, everyone.
- 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,798 Thank you all for coming out to protest the war, m'kay!
- 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,424 [Applause ]
- 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,801 Don't kid yourselves.
- 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,720 These people have come out to support our troops, right?!
- 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,430 [Applause]
- 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,600 And now Randy Marsh is gonna sing a protest song
- 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,185 he wrote about the war.
- 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,561 Oh, no, you don't!
- 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,939 We're doing our pro-war song first!
- 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:34,815 Yeah!
- 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,982 The last thing these people want
- 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,443 is another bleeding-heart rock protest song!
- 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,155 People, I told you, you have to share the stage.
- 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,116 Nobody wants to hear another pro-war country song!
- 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,452 Well, excuse me if...
- 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,580 ♪ I'm a little bit country ♪
- 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,125 ♪ Well, I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll-a ♪
- 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,254 ♪ I'm a little for supportin' our troops ♪
- 00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,966 ♪ And I'm a little for bringin' 'em home ♪
- 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,801 ♪ I believe freedom isn't free ♪
- 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,678 ♪ No, but war shouldn't be our goal ♪
- 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,639 ♪ We must defend our country ♪
- 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,433 ♪ If it means war, then we say no ♪
- 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,352 Yee-haw!
- 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:16,898 ♪ Did you forget them towers in New York? ♪
- 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:20,944 ♪ Did you forget how it made you feel ♪
- 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,947 ♪ To see them towers come down? ♪
- 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,699 ♪ Were you like me? ♪
- 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,494 ♪ Did you think it weren't real? ♪
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:33,623 ♪ I like to rock, but I don't want to rock Iraq ♪
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,420 ♪ The only kind of rockin' America should do ♪
- 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,506 ♪ Is the kind that we can all dance to ♪
- 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,509 ♪ We've got GPS, ICBMs ♪
- 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,470 ♪ And good old-fashioned lead ♪
- 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,807 ♪ We're gonna show Saddam what America means ♪
- 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,560 ♪ That son of a bitch will be dead ♪
- 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,521 ♪ Why are we fightin' this war? ♪
- 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,900 ♪ There's a man in the office we didn't vote for ♪
- 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,943 ♪ They didn't give me a choice ♪
- 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,362 ♪ War is not my voice ♪
- 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,197 ♪ Yea-a-a-a-h! ♪
- 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,241 [Men shouting]
- 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,870 We must go to war!
- 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,331 But what about the violence, the lives lost?
- 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:15,540 If we found a country,
- 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,959 it should be founded on peace and diplomacy!
- 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,046 England will only understand one thing -- force.
- 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:22,881 I must state again for the record
- 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,674 that South Carolina, North Carolina,
- 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,636 Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Georgia are against war!
- 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,221 Yeah, because you don't care about the fate of the colonies
- 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:31,306 like we do!
- 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,807 You're all unpatriotic!
- 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:36,353 And if you don't like the colonies, then you can get out!
- 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,063 Don't you call <i>us</i> unpatriotic!
- 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,439 We are protesting this war
- 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,983 because we care so <i>deeply</i> for the fate of our colonies!
- 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,235 You are all unpatriotic for leading the colonies
- 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,488 into a war that half of them don't want!
- 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,115 [All shouting]
- 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,826 Whoa. How very, very relevant.
- 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,914 Tom, I'm standing in the town square,
- 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,624 where the war rally has been going on
- 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,043 for an incredible 87 hours.
- 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,754 The crowd still appears to be split right down the middle --
- 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,507 half support country music and the other half rock 'n' roll.
- 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,675 Let's listen in.
- 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,218 And now we'd like to bring out
- 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,595 a couple of very special South Park students
- 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,056 who did a report on what the founding fathers
- 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,226 would have to say about the war.
- 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,311 [Applause]
- 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,813 [All] Boo!
- 00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,440 For you people who still think war is the answer,
- 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:26,152 perhaps you can listen to the voices...of the children.
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,904 [Cheers and applause]
- 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,993 Uh, we didn't do it.
- 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,285 What?
- 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,371 We didn't do our homework.
- 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,415 Boys, you were supposed to come out here
- 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,750 and tell everyone about the founding fathers!
- 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,085 First we lost one study partner
- 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,503 when Cartman put himself in the hospital,
- 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,504 and then they took Kenny away.
- 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,922 Then Kyle forgot to set his clock ahead
- 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,549 for Daylight Savings, and we couldn't find anything
- 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,842 in the history books about Iraq --
- 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,552 That's because the founding fathers
- 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,095 would have supported the war!
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,931 The founding fathers would have protested, like us!
- 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,141 Support! - Support!
- 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,308 Protest! - Protest!
- 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,435 Country! - Country!
- 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,603 Rock 'n' roll! - Rock 'n' roll!
- 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,772 [All shouting]
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,153 Aah!
- 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,781 [All] Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,242 Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536 We cannot found a country based on war!
- 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,039 We cannot found a country that is afraid to fight!
- 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:19,873 Rabble!
- 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,000 [All] Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
- 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,085 [Down-tempo music plays] Oh. Benjamin Franklin.
- 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,837 Benjamin Franklin. - Benjamin Franklin's here.
- 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,589 It's Mr. Franklin. - Franklin, Franklin.
- 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,466 Oh, Benjamin Franklin. Franklin, Franklin.
- 00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,633 Benjamin Franklin.
- 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,345 Mr. Franklin, where do you stand on the war issue?
- 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,683 I believe that if we are to form a new country,
- 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,312 we cannot be a country that appears war-hungry and violent
- 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,980 to the rest of the world.
- 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,316 However, we also cannot be a country
- 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,943 that appears weak and unwilling to fight
- 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,528 to the rest of the world.
- 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:56,367 So, what if we form a country... that appears to want both?
- 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,330 Yes. Yes, of course.
- 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,831 We go to war...
- 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,459 and protest going to war at the same time!
- 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,835 Right!
- 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,003 If the people of our new country
- 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,505 are allowed to do whatever they wish,
- 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,508 then some will support the war and some will protest it.
- 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,510 And that means that as a nation,
- 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:16,012 we could go to war with whomever we wished
- 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,182 but at the same time act like we didn't want to.
- 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,476 If we allow the people to protest
- 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,769 what the government does,
- 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:26,064 then the country will be forever blameless.
- 00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:29,734 It's like having your cake and eating it, too.
- 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,238 Think of it -- an entire nation founded on saying one thing
- 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,322 and doing another.
- 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:40,203 And we will call that country the United States of America.
- 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,204 Wow!
- 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,580 I get it now!
- 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:43,915 I get it!
- 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,333 Whoa. Here goes.
- 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,001 I wish I could go back to my time...
- 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,504 to my time... to -- to my time.
- 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,131 [Monitor beeping]
- 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,340 Wow!
- 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,843 [All shouting]
- 00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,347 [Groans]
- 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,311 [Glass shattering]
- 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,480 Everyone, stop, please!
- 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,731 [Shouting stops]
- 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,191 The -- the child.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,818 The child from the hospital!
- 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,405 If you all don't mind, I would like to do my report now.
- 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,699 I know what the founding fathers would say.
- 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,576 He does? - He does?
- 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,994 I learned something today.
- 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,246 This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers
- 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,790 the world has ever seen, and they knew one thing --
- 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,042 that a truly great country can go to war
- 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,045 and at the same time act like it doesn't want to.
- 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,756 You people who are for the war, you need the protesters
- 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:36,134 because they make the country look like it's made of sane,
- 00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,260 caring individuals.
- 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,721 And you people who are antiwar, you need these flag-wavers,
- 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,181 because if our whole country
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,224 was made up of nothing but soft, pussy protesters,
- 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,018 we'd get taken down in a second.
- 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,520 That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both.
- 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,398 It's called having your cake and eating it, too.
- 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,150 He's right.
- 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,776 The strength of this country
- 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,112 is the ability to do one thing and say another.
- 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:59,032 Yeah, if it weren't for all you guys protesting,
- 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,451 everyone around the world would hate the American people
- 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,203 instead of just the president.
- 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,788 And if it weren't for you people flexing your arms,
- 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,208 America could easily get taken over by terrorists
- 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,417 or -- or China.
- 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,836 I guess we owe you an apology.
- 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,755 And I-I guess we owe <i>you</i> one.
- 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,632 [All] Aw.
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,050 Aw. - Aw.
- 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,468 Aw. - Aw.
- 00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:19,636 Aw. - Aw.
- 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,054 Cartman?
- 00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,306 Cartman saved the day? - Can't be.
- 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,058 The founding fathers want you all to know
- 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,601 that we can disagree all we want,
- 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,811 as long as we agree that America kicks ass.
- 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,190 ♪ Hey, I'm a little bit country ♪
- 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,026 ♪ And I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll-a ♪
- 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,320 ♪ I'll be the muscle of America ♪
- 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,157 ♪ And me, I'll be the caring soul ♪
- 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,825 ♪ And when you put us together ♪
- 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,661 ♪ You get a nation with one goal ♪
- 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,080 ♪ To thrive and prosper ♪
- 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,999 ♪ With a little country and rock 'n' roll ♪
- 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,627 Come on up here, everybody!
- 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,504 [Up-tempo music plays]
- 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,673 [All] ♪ We're a little bit country ♪
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,800 ♪ We're a little bit rock 'n' roll ♪
- 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,469 We can be a nation that believes in war...
- 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,846 And still tells the world that we don't.
- 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,350 ♪ Let the flag for hypocrisy fly high from every pole ♪
- 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,061 ♪ 'Cause we're a little bit country ♪
- 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,563 ♪ And we're a little bit rock 'n' roll ♪
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,274 Well, good night, everybody.
- 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,943 It sure has been great bringing you 100 episodes.
- 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,570 We want to thank our guests, the pro-war people...
- 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:20,863 [Cheers and applause]
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,824 ...and the antiwar people.
- 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:23,866 [Cheers and applause]
- 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,159 What the hell are they doing now?
- 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:25,994 I-I don't know.
- 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,080 ♪ For the war, against the war -- Who cares? ♪
- 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:33,126 ♪ 100 episodes ♪
- 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,547 I hate this town. I really, really do.
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