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Сумасшедшие калеки
Krazy Kripples
Сезон: 07Серия: 02
Описание
Тимми и Джимми хотят создать клуб для калек. Кристофер Рив приезжает в город и рассказывает о важности изучения стволовых клеток.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,529 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:39,999 Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jimmy!
- 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,501 Thank you! Wow. What a terrific audience.
- 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,794 I know what most of you are thinking.
- 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:47,381 "Hey, that guy stole my shoes."
- 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,341 Wow. What a great audience.
- 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:51,385 And how about this Michael Jackson guy, huh?
- 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,596 I mean, come on.
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,139 Wow. What a great audience.
- 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,267 Uh...l-lights, please?
- 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,605 Hey, Jimmy.
- 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,607 Butters, w-where is everybody?
- 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,734 Oh, yeah. Well, about that.
- 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:09,528 Christopher Reeve came to town to do some kind of show,
- 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,988 and everyone went to see <i>him.</i>
- 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,574 Christopher Reeve? Christopher Reeve?!
- 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,451 You know, Christopher Reeve, the guy who played Superman.
- 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,535 I know who he is!
- 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,996 But why is everyone ditching my comedy show to see him?!
- 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:22,083 W-Well, because he got crippled, but now he can move his finger.
- 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:23,793 He is an inspiration to us all.
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:26,170 That's why everyone ditched on your show.
- 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:27,922 So then how come you came?
- 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:31,050 Well, because I said I would.
- 00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,594 Oh, I'm a dork, huh?
- 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,472 And so without further ado,
- 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,475 here's the most courageous, most amazing man on the planet,
- 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,976 Christopher Reeve.
- 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:48,609 Thank you. Thank you. Wow. What a great audience.
- 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,905 I just flew into South Park.
- 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,075 Used to be I didn't need an airplane.
- 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,664 As most of you know...
- 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,917 I am a strong supporter of stem-cell research.
- 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:08,087 Say, fellas! Thanks a lot for going to my c-comedy show!
- 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,630 We didn't go to your comedy show.
- 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,842 I know that! I was being f-f-f-facetious!
- 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,927 Well, dude. Christopher Reeve, dude.
- 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,138 Ooh! Christopher Reeve! Whoop-de-freakin'-do!
- 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,222 Dude, that's not cool.
- 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,598 You shouldn't make fun of Christopher Reeve.
- 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,683 Yeah, dude, not cool.
- 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,726 Though it is controversial...
- 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,981 ...stem-cell research is critical...
- 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,776 ...in the quest for helping...
- 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,696 ...the disabled.
- 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,574 I put together a comedy show, and I was crippled from birth!
- 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,286 Uh, whoo. Guys, I think we'd better stay out of this one.
- 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,328 Yeah, this is starting to look
- 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,872 like something we shouldn't be any part of.
- 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,331 Let's go play with trucks or something.
- 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,542 Can you believe this ass wipe, Timmy?
- 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,543 Timmy!
- 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,336 Why is a celebrity who became crippled
- 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,922 more important than us that were born that way, very much?
- 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,799 Ugh, Timmy!
- 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,010 In the coming days...
- 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,512 I will prove to the world...
- 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,807 that stem-cell research is a miracle.
- 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,395 Beep, beep, beep. Move it, Kenny! Beep.
- 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,355 Hey, there, fellas. - Oh, hey, Jimmy, hey, Timmy.
- 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,440 Timmy!
- 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,066 Say, would you guys like to join our club?
- 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,276 Oh, I'm sorry. You can't.
- 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,528 You aren't crippled.
- 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,779 What?
- 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,199 To be in our club, not only do you have to be c-crippled,
- 00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,867 but you have to have been born that way.
- 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:20,868 You know what that means?
- 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,287 No butthole Superman ass wipe Christopher Reeve.
- 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,165 That's nice, guys. We're just gonna stay out of this one.
- 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,125 Hey, wait a minute!
- 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,294 You guys can't just start a club and tell me I can't be in it!
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,046 Sorry, able-body. You can't join.
- 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,214 Can too!
- 00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,132 Hey, Timmy, how many able-bodied people does it take
- 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,300 to screw in a light bulb?
- 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:37,509 One.
- 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:42,181 You know what you call an able-bodied guy on the doorstep?
- 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,390 Whatever his name is.
- 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,019 Oh, God damn it!
- 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,062 Cartman, just stay out of it.
- 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,563 But they say I can't be in their club!
- 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,523 Cartman, trust me. We don't want any part in this one.
- 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,987 Hello, Mr. McGillic-- Mr. McGillicuddy.
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,906 Hello, boys. What can I do for you?
- 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,242 Timmy and I made a T-shirt design for our new club.
- 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,619 We just came up with a name this morning.
- 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,000 Uh, boys, I don't think you want to wear these shirts.
- 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,085 Why not?
- 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,504 Well, because there already is a group
- 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:14,880 that calls themselves The Crips,
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,799 and I don't think they'd like it too much.
- 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,468 There's already a Crips?!
- 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,096 Well, sure, they're all over Five Points area in Denver.
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,305 You've never heard of them?
- 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,473 No, we never have.
- 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,516 Are they crippled from birth,
- 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,102 or are they cripple wannabes like Christopher Reeve?
- 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,647 Ooh. I am staying out of this one.
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,649 Can you believe it, Timmy?
- 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,110 There was a group for truly crippled people like ourselves,
- 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,111 and we didn't know it.
- 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,195 Timmy!
- 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,490 Come on. We got to take the bus to Five Points in Denver.
- 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,450 My guest tonight is the brilliant star
- 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,369 of stage and screen, Mr. Christopher Reeve,
- 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,371 who, with the help of stem-cell research,
- 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,164 is now able to move his arms.
- 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,833 Thanks for having me on again, Larry.
- 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,501 All right, Chris. The whole world is waiting.
- 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,170 Why don't you show us what stem- cell research has done for you?
- 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,759 Amazing. Isn't that amazing, folks?
- 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,303 Now, Chris, there are some people
- 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:03,929 who say stem-cell research is wrong,
- 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,932 that taking cells from a fetus is unethical.
- 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,434 Well, it just proves that the public
- 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,477 needs to be educated...
- 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,439 ...about stem-cell research.
- 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,442 See, the stem cells from a fetus, like this one,
- 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,153 can form into whatever cells of the body are damaged.
- 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,572 They are the most powerful thing on the planet.
- 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,073 And how does someone like yourself
- 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,616 make use of the stem cells, Chris?
- 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,952 Well, it's very simple.
- 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:41,967 And now you can see my arms have better movement.
- 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,553 Wow. Wow.
- 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:52,686 Excuse me, sir.
- 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:55,147 We're looking for a group of people called the Crips.
- 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,940 You are?
- 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,525 Do you know where they meet?
- 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,111 We've already tried the rec center and the library.
- 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:04,073 The Crips hang out in that old warehouse down there,
- 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,367 but nobody goes in there.
- 00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,118 Oh, it's okay. We're Crips ourselves.
- 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,662 Come on, Tim-Tim. - Timmy!
- 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,214 Well, hello, everyone.
- 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,259 I'm Jim Swanson, and this is my friend Timmy.
- 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,344 Timmy!
- 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,890 T-T-Timmy.
- 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,267 Well, let us tell you a little bit about ourselves.
- 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,436 Timmy and I are both true Crips, born and raised.
- 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,522 We're the only Crips in South Park, where we live,
- 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:40,734 and we would love to join your fa-fa-fantastic Denver chapter.
- 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,405 Is they for real, man?
- 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,949 We just have one question before we join your c-club.
- 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,909 Do you think it's better to be born a Crip
- 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,953 or to become a Crip later by accident?
- 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,997 The only real Crips is born Crips, dog.
- 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:57,292 Yeah, you can't become a Crip by accident, fool.
- 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,461 I agree. I mean, it's like, come on!
- 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,672 Why do these people who become Crips later in life
- 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,632 think they're such great p-potatoes?
- 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,675 Timmy!
- 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,761 Well, we're glad you see it our way, fellas.
- 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,930 So, can we join your g-group?
- 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,391 A'ight, you want to thug with the Five Point Crips?
- 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:15,102 Bitches, all you got to do is pop some punk-ass Bloods.
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,478 Well, sure.
- 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,480 Tim and I would love to pop some p-punk-ass Bloods.
- 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,690 We're terrific at it.
- 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:20,774 Timmy?
- 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,818 I don't know, Timmy. Just play along.
- 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,319 Uh, T-Timmy!
- 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,821 So you saying you're down?
- 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,240 Down like a clown, Charlie Br--
- 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,742 Down like a clown, Charlie B-Brow...
- 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:34,413 Down like a clown, Charlie Bah...Bah...
- 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,998 Down like a clown, Charlie B-Brown.
- 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,626 ♪ Kickin' it with a nigga while I have his wife for dinner ♪
- 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,045 ♪ Now the silly nigga wants to fly ♪
- 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,297 ♪ Buster ♪ ♪ But fightin' is for chumps ♪
- 00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:44,631 ♪ Didn't you know? ♪
- 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:48,260 ♪ In the 9 Joe, it's all about the 4-4 ♪
- 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,345 ♪ And can't stop it when bad apples in the bunch ♪
- 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:51,680 Say, Timmy, did you notice
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,724 that all the crippled people in that club are negroes?
- 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:54,683 Timmy!
- 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,018 That's an amazing coincidence.
- 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,770 I mean, there's not one crippled colored person in South P-Park.
- 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,108 Hey, you kids.
- 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,360 Well, hello, officers.
- 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,738 What the hell do you think you're doing?
- 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:10,616 We're going to pop some punk-ass B-Bloods.
- 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,284 Timmy!
- 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,957 ♪ Stop it, dog, with just one punch ♪
- 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:19,958 ♪ When niggas got funk ♪
- 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,044 Look, Timmy. There's a convenience store.
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,420 That must be what the fellas meant
- 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,713 by pop some punk-ass Bloods.
- 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,715 They want us to get them some soda pop and treats.
- 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,800 Oh. Timmy.
- 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,222 Let's buy them ginger ale and marshmallows.
- 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,224 Then they'll let us in the club for sure.
- 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:39,019 Oh shit!
- 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:47,903 S-S-S-S-Sunday driver!
- 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,907 Yo, yo, listen up y'all.
- 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,492 Let me tell you about my little G's,
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,618 Roller and Four Legs here.
- 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,246 They just smoked 13 Bloods in one night.
- 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,333 That ain't never been done before.
- 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,461 And they got us marshmallows and ginger ale.
- 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,921 Uh-huh. That's right.
- 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,257 So does that mean we can join the c-club?
- 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:12,052 You're not just in, you're the baddest mofo Crips in town.
- 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,637 Cipac, turn up the beat
- 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,056 so we can celebrate our new G's Five Points style!
- 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,849 A'ight.
- 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:22,104 Wow. These guys really <i>a re</i> crippled.
- 00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,483 Timmy, I have a feeling this is the start
- 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,403 of something w-w-w-w-wonderful.
- 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,238 Timmy!
- 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,787 Thanks for the ride home, fellas.
- 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,205 We sure had a terrific time.
- 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,082 All right. Keep it real, though, dog.
- 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,667 You dogs keep it real, too.
- 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,836 ♪ 'Cause some got the funk for the funk of it ♪
- 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,045 ♪ Just want to funk with it ♪
- 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,131 ♪ But I'm the wrong one to funk with ♪
- 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,299 Timmy!
- 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,427 Well, that sure was a terrific time.
- 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:54,553 Let's go all around tomorrow
- 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,054 and show everyone our new outfits, Timmy.
- 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,889 Timmy!
- 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,100 There you are, Jimmy!
- 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,560 What up, Mazie? Y-Yo, Pops.
- 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,395 Jimmy, your mother was getting worried about you.
- 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,479 No need to worry about me.
- 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,899 I'm cool like a fool in a swimming p-p-p-pool.
- 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,528 Tom, I'm standing out front
- 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,615 of the stem-cell research facility with terrific news.
- 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,783 Christopher Reeve, who was once paralyzed,
- 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,994 claims that he can now stand.
- 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,370 Thank you, everyone.
- 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:23,457 To most people, this is just an ordinary fetus.
- 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,917 But to people like me, it's hope.
- 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,141 Oh, my God! - What an inspiration.
- 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,226 Tom, many celebrities have spoken out
- 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,145 in protest of stem-cell research,
- 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:48,815 but after seeing this, how can they protest now?
- 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,862 Stay clear, guys. Stay clear.
- 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,323 Yep. I'm not seeing anything.
- 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,746 Hey.
- 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,581 Hey, I no want no trouble!
- 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,584 Hello. We'd like two orders of kung p-pao chicken, please.
- 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:08,835 I don't want no trouble!
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,712 You just take what you want and leave!
- 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,463 Timmy!
- 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,257 Oh! Okay, okay! I opening register.
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,467 Timmy. - What's that?
- 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,885 Oh, and one medium lemonade, please.
- 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:17,719 Timmy.
- 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:22,015 Here! Here 112 dollar! It's all I have! Take!
- 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,433 Huh?
- 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,435 You take! 112 dollar!
- 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,105 A-Are you sure?
- 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,524 I no want no trouble. Just take it and leave!
- 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,318 Well, gee, that's really nice of you, Mr. Chinese person.
- 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,070 Look, Tim-Tim. We got a cash prize.
- 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,155 We must be the 100th customer or something.
- 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,534 Here! Here two order of kung pao chicken and small ice tea!
- 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,452 Actually, it was a regular lemonade.
- 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:43,912 I sorry!
- 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,997 I sorry! I no want no trouble.
- 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,666 Here. Lemonade.
- 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,000 Now go! Just go!
- 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,919 Gee, thanks a lot. See you next time.
- 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,421 Timmy!
- 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:59,928 Hello, police? I've just been robbed by two gang members!
- 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:04,599 Jimmy? Jimmy, could you come into the kitchen, please?
- 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,060 Yo, Mamsie. What's up, Pops?
- 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,061 H-Have a seat, Jim.
- 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,855 Your mother and I need to talk to you.
- 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,950 Son, your mother and I
- 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,910 have noticed a change in your behavior.
- 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:27,539 And we're worried that you might be involved in a gang.
- 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,499 A what? Oh, you mean the fellas.
- 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,126 Well, sure, but I can't talk about the club
- 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,003 on account of it's s-super secret, dog.
- 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,630 Then it's true! Oh, Ryan, it's true!
- 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,758 Why you be tripping, Mom?
- 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,427 I mean, come on. I'm finally a part of something, very much.
- 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,971 Jimmy, those people you're hanging out with are no good.
- 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,015 Yo, don't be dissing my niggas, dog.
- 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,933 They're my f-friends.
- 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,144 And what about your stand-up comedy, Jim, huh?
- 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,937 Are you just giving up on that, too?
- 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,814 Nobody cared about my stand-up comedy!
- 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,399 All that hard work just to be outshined
- 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,860 by C-Christopher Reeve the super butthole!
- 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,528 Jimmy, we've told you before.
- 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,489 God made you the way he did for a reason.
- 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,490 Right, because you and Mom
- 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,408 used to make fun of crippled kids in high school.
- 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,910 That's right -- You were sent here
- 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,661 through the vengeful and angry hand of God
- 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,288 to teach your mother and I a lesson.
- 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,998 And that's a big responsibility, Son.
- 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,208 Look, my gang,
- 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,293 which I can't talk about because it's super secret,
- 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,753 is the most important thing to me now.
- 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:15,837 And if you two don't like it,
- 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,548 you can just pass the blunt to the nigga on your left.
- 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,806 Where's that delivery of new fetuses?
- 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,516 Feeling weak again.
- 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,267 Here's the new shipment, sir.
- 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,353 Hey!
- 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,400 Hello there, Christopher.
- 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,278 Well, well, Gene Hackman, my old nemesis from the movies.
- 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,488 How are you?
- 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,240 I'm good. And you?
- 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:46,910 I am better with each passing day; stronger and more agile.
- 00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:52,457 Christopher, I've come to ask you to stop what you're doing.
- 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,501 What?
- 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,170 Using stem cells is like playing god.
- 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,214 You should leave nature alone.
- 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,383 And go back to the way I was?
- 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,426 Is that what you're saying, Hackman?
- 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:05,095 I'm saying that sometimes you need
- 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,514 to just live with the cards you're dealt, Christopher.
- 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:08,765 Stop calling me Christopher!
- 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,226 That name no longer has meaning to me!
- 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,144 Christopher was someone who lived in a wheelchair,
- 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,188 always being pushed around by others!
- 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,816 The old Christopher Reeve is dead!
- 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,944 From now on, I am...
- 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,697 Chris!
- 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:27,158 ♪ 65 b-bottles of beer on the wall ♪
- 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:27,826 ♪ 65... ♪
- 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:33,707 Payback time, motherfucker!
- 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,251 J-Jesus Christ!
- 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,131 Holy g-guacamole!
- 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,802 Freakin' frijoles!
- 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,559 Leapin' l-langosta.
- 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,477 East Side Bloods!
- 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,482 We're Detectives Hyde and Richardson,
- 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,067 from the Special Gang Unit in Denver.
- 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,361 Any word on who shot up me and Timmy's houses, officers?
- 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,448 Word on the street is it was a retaliation hit by the Bloods.
- 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,033 The B-Bloods?
- 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,243 You know, smart-mouth -- your rival gang.
- 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,745 The Bloods are at war with the Crips.
- 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,163 They kill each other all the time.
- 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,205 T-They do?
- 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,207 Don't act like you don't know, you little punk!
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,751 The Crips and Bloods hate each other,
- 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,086 and if you stay in that gang, you're gonna end up dead, too.
- 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,880 But -- But why do they hate each other?
- 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,717 Look, kid, I used to be a Crip myself, but I'm not anymore.
- 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,178 Oh, so you used s-stem cells like Christopher Reeve?
- 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,137 Come on.
- 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,097 The only way these kids are gonna get out of their gang
- 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,390 is to get killed.
- 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,101 Sarah!
- 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,102 Oh, boy, Timmy.
- 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,395 We should have never started a gang
- 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,355 for people crippled from birth.
- 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,814 Now they're at war with the people
- 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,066 who were crippled in an accident.
- 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,777 Boy, were we wrong. - Timmy.
- 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,904 Wow. W-We've got to do something, Timmy.
- 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,239 We've got to get the Crips and Bloods to s-stop fighting.
- 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,033 I bet if we could just get them together.
- 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,326 But how?
- 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,496 W-Wait a minute! I've got it! A lock-in at the rec center!
- 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,497 We did it for our church once.
- 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,332 All we do is rent out the rec center overnight.
- 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,833 They lock the doors so nobody can leave,
- 00:15:58,959 --> 00:15:59,709 and everyone has the whole night
- 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,336 to play in the swimming pool and laugh and talk.
- 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,253 Timmy!
- 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,254 You get all the Crips you can
- 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,673 to the rec center tomorrow night, Timmy.
- 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,132 I'll try to get all the B-Bloods there.
- 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,094 - Timmy! - This is gonna be t-terrific!
- 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,722 Tom, several years ago, actor Christopher Reeve
- 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,808 had a horrible accident and was paralyzed.
- 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:15,934 The irony, of course,
- 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,853 was that the man who played Superman could no longer walk.
- 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,188 America watched in wonder
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,857 as he managed to move one of his fingers, then his arms.
- 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,235 And now, seen for the first time on HBC,
- 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,655 Christopher Reeve is going to lift a truck up over his head.
- 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,913 Oh, what a fighter. - That brave, brave man.
- 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,915 He's an inspiration to us all.
- 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,251 Tom, the irony is even more irony-y,
- 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:43,128 as it appears that the stem cells
- 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,755 have given Christopher Reeve almost superhuman strength.
- 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,966 Chris, that's enough.
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,468 Hello, Gene. So good to see you.
- 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,469 You're cured, Chris.
- 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,471 It's time to stop using stem cells.
- 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,432 Stem-cell research has made me stronger
- 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,599 than I ever thought possible!
- 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:57,600 Why stop now?
- 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,352 Uh, Tom, apparently Gene Hackman,
- 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,813 the man who played Superman's enemy Lex Luthor in the movies,
- 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:05,233 has now shown up as a celebrity protester of stem-cell research.
- 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,777 If that isn't ironic, Tom, I don't know what is.
- 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,654 They're affecting your mind, Chris.
- 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:13,241 If you won't stop using stem cells, then we'll stop you.
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,327 Stop me? Stop me? Ha!
- 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,711 You won't stop me, Hack Man!
- 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,468 Tom, if irony were made of strawberries,
- 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:34,554 we'd all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now.
- 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,308 Come on in, everybody.
- 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,478 Lots of s-surprises and t-treats inside.
- 00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:44,355 Great to see you all. What a terrific audience.
- 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,233 You sure you got everything you need, young man?
- 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,943 We sure do. Thanks, Mr. Appleb--by.
- 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,487 Just remember to make sure
- 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,739 the kids play safe in the pool area.
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:53,573 You bet.
- 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,325 I'll be back at 7:00 to let you out.
- 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,077 You kids have a good time.
- 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,161 Oh, we will.
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,128 The Bloods! - Oh shit! It's a trap!
- 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,089 Motherfuckin' Crips trying to smoke us all out!
- 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,049 What the hell is going on here?
- 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,759 It's called a lock-in at the rec center.
- 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,427 We can use all the rec-center facilities.
- 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,137 We can play b-basketball, go swimming,
- 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,472 or just kick it in the lounge area
- 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,099 with some games and p-puzzles.
- 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,183 Timmy!
- 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,893 But nobody can leave until 7:00 a.m.,
- 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,186 so if you want to have a good time,
- 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,938 you're all just gonna have to learn to get along.
- 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:36,533 There's pizza.
- 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:37,909 Tom, over five years ago,
- 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,536 doctors told actor Christopher Reeve
- 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,162 that he would never walk again.
- 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,872 But the resilient actor fought back,
- 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,165 struggled against all odds,
- 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,377 and has now built his very own legion of doom!
- 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:50,296 The once immobile Mr. Reeve says his new organization
- 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,757 will be committed to world domination and evil.
- 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,260 What an inspirational story, Tom.
- 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,137 I have chosen each member
- 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,097 of this elite group of supervillains
- 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:02,934 for their outstanding treachery, their desire for world conquest,
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,395 and their hatred of all things good!
- 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,273 And I've assembled this group for one purpose --
- 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:11,901 to once and for all find a way to...
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,070 get rid of Hack Man!
- 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:20,243 Uh, how about domination of the world?
- 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,871 Yeah, or, uh, death to the infidels?
- 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:23,955 Silence!
- 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,540 Our job is to see to it
- 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,750 that Hack Man is put out of commission.
- 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,210 Oh, boy, General Disarray.
- 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,546 Maybe we just ought to stay out of this one.
- 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,965 Not so fast, Chris!
- 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,258 Hack Man!
- 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,886 We just helped pass a ban on stem-cell research.
- 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,430 Your fetus-sucking days are over.
- 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,390 No. No!
- 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,058 And now we're going to put you somewhere
- 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,103 where you can never touch another fetus again.
- 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,773 You stupid mofos are dead! - Make the first shot, punk!
- 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,151 Hold it! Don't you see?
- 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,236 It doesn't matter if we were crippled from birth
- 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,654 or crippled in an accident.
- 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,156 We're all brothers.
- 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,575 Save it, fool! Crips ain't our brothers!
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,535 Look, we have the whole rec center to ourselves.
- 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,454 Can't we all just try having some fun together?
- 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:05,914 You talking crazy, dog.
- 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,707 Yeah. We ain't playing, sucker!
- 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,083 Why don't we at least give it a chance?
- 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,002 I mean, come on.
- 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,340 Wait a minute. What did you say?
- 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,634 I said, "I mean, come on."
- 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,387 You know, maybe he's right.
- 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,348 I mean, come on.
- 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:24,974 Come on.
- 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,394 I guess we could at least give having fun together a try.
- 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,729 It's like, come on.
- 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,314 Yeah. Come on.
- 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,565 Yeah, that's right. Come on.
- 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,900 Come on. - Come on.
- 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,818 Yeah, come on. - That's right. Come on.
- 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,863 ♪ P's and Q's are important to avoid a squabble ♪
- 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,491 ♪ They break you off something, break them something harder ♪
- 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:44,702 ♪ Make sure they ass understand how you coming from, respect ♪
- 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,120 Got to give you two dogs props
- 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,956 for putting an end to all this hate.
- 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,999 I told you -- Lock-in at the rec center always works.
- 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,834 And, you know, I've learned something, too.
- 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,836 I was player-hating C-Christopher butthole Reeve
- 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,505 because he got more attention than me.
- 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:56,673 But just like y-you guys,
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,259 I need to learn to control my a-anger.
- 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,385 Right on!
- 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:03,054 Hey, little Roller, try some of this chronic shit.
- 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,264 Timmy!
- 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:08,101 Well, I guess we all learned that trying to get along
- 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,186 is way better than p-p-player hating.
- 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,522 The gang wrote a song about it. Why don't we listen in?
- 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:15,191 ♪ Used to be Crips and Bloods didn't get along ♪
- 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,735 ♪ But now we're all a family, so we wrote this song ♪
- 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,154 ♪ Na na na, Crips and Bloods ♪
- 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,323 ♪ Na na na, hope and love ♪
- 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,867 ♪ Na na na, friendly thugs ♪
- 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:28,788 You haven't seen the last of me, Hack Man!
- 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:33,376 I will be ba-a-a-ck!
- 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,670 Dude, I am so glad we stayed out of that one.
- 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:36,921 Me too.
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,401 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,529 Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
- 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:33,159 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,328 [Drumroll, up-tempo music plays]
- 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:39,999 [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jimmy!
- 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,501 Thank you! Wow. What a terrific audience.
- 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,794 I know what most of you are thinking.
- 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:47,381 "Hey, that guy stole my shoes."
- 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,341 Wow. What a great audience.
- 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:51,385 And how about this Michael Jackson guy, huh?
- 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,596 I mean, come on.
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,139 Wow. What a great audience.
- 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,307 [Hands clapping]
- 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,267 Uh...l-lights, please?
- 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,605 Hey, Jimmy.
- 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,607 Butters, w-where is everybody?
- 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,734 Oh, yeah. Well, about that.
- 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:09,528 Christopher Reeve came to town to do some kind of show,
- 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,988 and everyone went to see <i>him.</i>
- 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,574 Christopher Reeve? Christopher Reeve?!
- 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,451 You know, Christopher Reeve, the guy who played Superman.
- 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,535 I know who he is!
- 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,996 But why is everyone ditching my comedy show to see him?!
- 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:22,083 W-Well, because he got crippled, but now he can move his finger.
- 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:23,793 He is an inspiration to us all.
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:26,170 That's why everyone ditched on your show.
- 00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:27,922 So then how come you came?
- 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:31,050 Well, because I said I would.
- 00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,594 Oh, I'm a dork, huh?
- 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,472 And so without further ado,
- 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,475 here's the most courageous, most amazing man on the planet,
- 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,976 Christopher Reeve.
- 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:42,978 [Cheers and applause]
- 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:45,147 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:48,609 Thank you. Thank you. Wow. What a great audience.
- 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,194 [Birds chirping]
- 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,905 I just flew into South Park.
- 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,075 Used to be I didn't need an airplane.
- 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,327 [Laughter]
- 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,664 As most of you know...
- 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,917 I am a strong supporter of stem-cell research.
- 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:08,087 Say, fellas! Thanks a lot for going to my c-comedy show!
- 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,630 We didn't go to your comedy show.
- 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,842 I know that! I was being f-f-f-facetious!
- 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,927 Well, dude. Christopher Reeve, dude.
- 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,138 Ooh! Christopher Reeve! Whoop-de-freakin'-do!
- 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,222 Dude, that's not cool.
- 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,598 You shouldn't make fun of Christopher Reeve.
- 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,683 Yeah, dude, not cool.
- 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,726 Though it is controversial...
- 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,103 [Birds chirping]
- 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:26,981 ...stem-cell research is critical...
- 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:30,776 ...in the quest for helping...
- 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,696 ...the disabled.
- 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,574 I put together a comedy show, and I was crippled from birth!
- 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,286 Uh, whoo. Guys, I think we'd better stay out of this one.
- 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,328 Yeah, this is starting to look
- 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,872 like something we shouldn't be any part of.
- 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,331 Let's go play with trucks or something.
- 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,542 Can you believe this ass wipe, Timmy?
- 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,543 Timmy!
- 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,336 Why is a celebrity who became crippled
- 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,922 more important than us that were born that way, very much?
- 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,799 Ugh, Timmy!
- 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,010 In the coming days...
- 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,512 I will prove to the world...
- 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,807 that stem-cell research is a miracle.
- 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,893 [Imitating engines revving]
- 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,395 Beep, beep, beep. Move it, Kenny! Beep.
- 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,355 Hey, there, fellas. - Oh, hey, Jimmy, hey, Timmy.
- 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,440 Timmy!
- 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,066 Say, would you guys like to join our club?
- 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,276 Oh, I'm sorry. You can't.
- 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,528 You aren't crippled. [Laughs]
- 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,779 What?
- 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,199 To be in our club, not only do you have to be c-crippled,
- 00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,867 but you have to have been born that way.
- 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:20,868 You know what that means?
- 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,287 No butthole Superman ass wipe Christopher Reeve.
- 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,165 That's nice, guys. We're just gonna stay out of this one.
- 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,125 Hey, wait a minute!
- 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,294 You guys can't just start a club and tell me I can't be in it!
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,046 Sorry, able-body. You can't join.
- 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,214 Can too!
- 00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,132 Hey, Timmy, how many able-bodied people does it take
- 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,300 to screw in a light bulb?
- 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:37,509 One.
- 00:03:37,635 --> 00:03:39,220 [Laughter]
- 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:42,181 You know what you call an able-bodied guy on the doorstep?
- 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,390 Whatever his name is.
- 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,559 [Laughter]
- 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,019 Oh, God damn it!
- 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,062 Cartman, just stay out of it.
- 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,563 But they say I can't be in their club!
- 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,523 Cartman, trust me. We don't want any part in this one.
- 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,987 Hello, Mr. McGillic-- Mr. McGillicuddy.
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,906 Hello, boys. What can I do for you?
- 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:01,242 Timmy and I made a T-shirt design for our new club.
- 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,619 We just came up with a name this morning.
- 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,000 Uh, boys, I don't think you want to wear these shirts.
- 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,085 Why not?
- 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,504 Well, because there already is a group
- 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:14,880 that calls themselves The Crips,
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,799 and I don't think they'd like it too much.
- 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,468 There's already a Crips?!
- 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,096 Well, sure, they're all over Five Points area in Denver.
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,305 You've never heard of them?
- 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,473 No, we never have.
- 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,516 Are they crippled from birth,
- 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,102 or are they cripple wannabes like Christopher Reeve?
- 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,647 Ooh. I am staying out of this one.
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,649 Can you believe it, Timmy?
- 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,110 There was a group for truly crippled people like ourselves,
- 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,111 and we didn't know it.
- 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,195 Timmy!
- 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,490 Come on. We got to take the bus to Five Points in Denver.
- 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,450 My guest tonight is the brilliant star
- 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,369 of stage and screen, Mr. Christopher Reeve,
- 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,371 who, with the help of stem-cell research,
- 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,164 is now able to move his arms.
- 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,833 Thanks for having me on again, Larry.
- 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,501 All right, Chris. The whole world is waiting.
- 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,170 Why don't you show us what stem- cell research has done for you?
- 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,049 [Grunts]
- 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,759 Amazing. Isn't that amazing, folks?
- 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,303 Now, Chris, there are some people
- 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:03,929 who say stem-cell research is wrong,
- 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,932 that taking cells from a fetus is unethical.
- 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,434 Well, it just proves that the public
- 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,477 needs to be educated...
- 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,439 ...about stem-cell research.
- 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,442 See, the stem cells from a fetus, like this one,
- 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,153 can form into whatever cells of the body are damaged.
- 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:21,572 They are the most powerful thing on the planet.
- 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,073 And how does someone like yourself
- 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,616 make use of the stem cells, Chris?
- 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,952 Well, it's very simple.
- 00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,873 [Slurping]
- 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:41,967 And now you can see my arms have better movement.
- 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,553 Wow. Wow.
- 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,638 [Horn honks, gunshots]
- 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:49,141 [Woman screaming, siren wailing]
- 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:52,686 Excuse me, sir.
- 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:55,147 We're looking for a group of people called the Crips.
- 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,940 You are?
- 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,525 Do you know where they meet?
- 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,111 We've already tried the rec center and the library.
- 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:04,073 The Crips hang out in that old warehouse down there,
- 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,367 but nobody goes in there.
- 00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,118 Oh, it's okay. We're Crips ourselves.
- 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,662 Come on, Tim-Tim. - Timmy!
- 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,165 [Down-tempo hip-hop playing]
- 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,214 Well, hello, everyone.
- 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,965 [Needle scratches, music stops]
- 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,259 I'm Jim Swanson, and this is my friend Timmy.
- 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,344 Timmy!
- 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,890 T-T-Timmy.
- 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,267 Well, let us tell you a little bit about ourselves.
- 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,436 Timmy and I are both true Crips, born and raised.
- 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,522 We're the only Crips in South Park, where we live,
- 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:40,734 and we would love to join your fa-fa-fantastic Denver chapter.
- 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,405 Is they for real, man?
- 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,949 We just have one question before we join your c-club.
- 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,909 Do you think it's better to be born a Crip
- 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,953 or to become a Crip later by accident?
- 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,997 The only real Crips is born Crips, dog.
- 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:57,292 Yeah, you can't become a Crip by accident, fool.
- 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,461 I agree. I mean, it's like, come on!
- 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,672 Why do these people who become Crips later in life
- 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,632 think they're such great p-potatoes?
- 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,675 Timmy!
- 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,761 Well, we're glad you see it our way, fellas.
- 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,930 So, can we join your g-group?
- 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,391 A'ight, you want to thug with the Five Point Crips?
- 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:15,102 Bitches, all you got to do is pop some punk-ass Bloods.
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,478 Well, sure.
- 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,480 Tim and I would love to pop some p-punk-ass Bloods.
- 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,690 We're terrific at it.
- 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:20,774 Timmy?
- 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,818 I don't know, Timmy. Just play along.
- 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,319 Uh, T-Timmy!
- 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,821 So you saying you're down?
- 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,240 Down like a clown, Charlie Br--
- 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,742 Down like a clown, Charlie B-Brow...
- 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:34,413 Down like a clown, Charlie Bah...Bah...
- 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,998 Down like a clown, Charlie B-Brown.
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,124 [Mid-tempo hip-hop plays]
- 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,626 ♪ Kickin' it with a nigga while I have his wife for dinner ♪
- 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,045 ♪ Now the silly nigga wants to fly ♪
- 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,297 ♪ Buster ♪ ♪ But fightin' is for chumps ♪
- 00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:44,631 ♪ Didn't you know? ♪
- 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:48,260 ♪ In the 9 Joe, it's all about the 4-4 ♪
- 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,345 ♪ And can't stop it when bad apples in the bunch ♪
- 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:51,680 Say, Timmy, did you notice
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,724 that all the crippled people in that club are negroes?
- 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:54,683 Timmy!
- 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,018 That's an amazing coincidence.
- 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,770 I mean, there's not one crippled colored person in South P-Park.
- 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,023 [Police radio chatter]
- 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,108 Hey, you kids.
- 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,360 Well, hello, officers.
- 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,738 What the hell do you think you're doing?
- 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:10,616 We're going to pop some punk-ass B-Bloods.
- 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,284 Timmy!
- 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,957 ♪ Stop it, dog, with just one punch ♪
- 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:19,958 ♪ When niggas got funk ♪
- 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,044 Look, Timmy. There's a convenience store.
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,420 That must be what the fellas meant
- 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,713 by pop some punk-ass Bloods.
- 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,715 They want us to get them some soda pop and treats.
- 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,800 Oh. Timmy.
- 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:31,428 [Indistinct conversations]
- 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,222 Let's buy them ginger ale and marshmallows.
- 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,224 Then they'll let us in the club for sure.
- 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:39,019 Oh shit! [Tires screech]
- 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,688 [Crowd screaming]
- 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:47,903 S-S-S-S-Sunday driver!
- 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,322 [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,907 Yo, yo, listen up y'all.
- 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,492 Let me tell you about my little G's,
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,618 Roller and Four Legs here.
- 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,246 They just smoked 13 Bloods in one night.
- 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,289 [Crowd murmuring]
- 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,333 That ain't never been done before.
- 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,461 And they got us marshmallows and ginger ale.
- 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,921 Uh-huh. That's right.
- 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,257 So does that mean we can join the c-club?
- 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:12,052 You're not just in, you're the baddest mofo Crips in town.
- 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,637 Cipac, turn up the beat
- 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,056 so we can celebrate our new G's Five Points style!
- 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,849 A'ight.
- 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:22,104 Wow. These guys really <i>a re</i> crippled.
- 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,981 [Hip-hop music plays, indistinct conversations]
- 00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,483 Timmy, I have a feeling this is the start
- 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,403 of something w-w-w-w-wonderful.
- 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,238 Timmy!
- 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,867 [Mid-tempo hip-hop playing]
- 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,787 Thanks for the ride home, fellas.
- 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,205 We sure had a terrific time.
- 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,082 All right. Keep it real, though, dog.
- 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,667 You dogs keep it real, too.
- 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,836 ♪ 'Cause some got the funk for the funk of it ♪
- 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,045 ♪ Just want to funk with it ♪
- 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,131 ♪ But I'm the wrong one to funk with ♪
- 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,299 Timmy!
- 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,427 Well, that sure was a terrific time.
- 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:54,553 Let's go all around tomorrow
- 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,054 and show everyone our new outfits, Timmy.
- 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,889 Timmy!
- 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,100 There you are, Jimmy!
- 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,560 What up, Mazie? Y-Yo, Pops.
- 00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,395 Jimmy, your mother was getting worried about you.
- 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,479 No need to worry about me.
- 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,899 I'm cool like a fool in a swimming p-p-p-pool.
- 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,528 Tom, I'm standing out front
- 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,615 of the stem-cell research facility with terrific news.
- 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,783 Christopher Reeve, who was once paralyzed,
- 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,994 claims that he can now stand.
- 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,370 Thank you, everyone.
- 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:23,457 To most people, this is just an ordinary fetus.
- 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,917 But to people like me, it's hope.
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,504 [Slurping]
- 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,633 [Crowd murmurs]
- 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:35,927 [Drumroll, triumphant music plays]
- 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,513 [Crowd cheering]
- 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,141 Oh, my God! - What an inspiration.
- 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,226 Tom, many celebrities have spoken out
- 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,145 in protest of stem-cell research,
- 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:48,815 but after seeing this, how can they protest now?
- 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,735 [Slurping]
- 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,862 Stay clear, guys. Stay clear.
- 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,323 Yep. I'm not seeing anything.
- 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,746 Hey.
- 00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,581 Hey, I no want no trouble!
- 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,584 Hello. We'd like two orders of kung p-pao chicken, please.
- 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:08,835 I don't want no trouble!
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,712 You just take what you want and leave!
- 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,463 Timmy!
- 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,257 Oh! Okay, okay! I opening register.
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,467 Timmy. - What's that?
- 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,885 Oh, and one medium lemonade, please.
- 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:17,719 Timmy.
- 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:22,015 Here! Here 112 dollar! It's all I have! Take!
- 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,433 Huh?
- 00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,435 You take! 112 dollar!
- 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,105 A-Are you sure?
- 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,524 I no want no trouble. Just take it and leave!
- 00:11:30,649 --> 00:11:33,318 Well, gee, that's really nice of you, Mr. Chinese person.
- 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,070 Look, Tim-Tim. We got a cash prize.
- 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,155 We must be the 100th customer or something.
- 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,534 Here! Here two order of kung pao chicken and small ice tea!
- 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,452 Actually, it was a regular lemonade.
- 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:43,912 [Screams] I sorry!
- 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,997 I sorry! I no want no trouble.
- 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,666 Here. Lemonade.
- 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,000 Now go! Just go!
- 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,919 Gee, thanks a lot. See you next time.
- 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,421 Timmy!
- 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,214 [Bell jingles]
- 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,382 [Telephone dialing]
- 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:59,928 Hello, police? I've just been robbed by two gang members!
- 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,138 [Door opens, closes]
- 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:04,599 Jimmy? Jimmy, could you come into the kitchen, please?
- 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,060 Yo, Mamsie. What's up, Pops?
- 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,061 H-Have a seat, Jim.
- 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,855 Your mother and I need to talk to you.
- 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,400 [Grunting]
- 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,194 [Slurps]
- 00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:20,115 [Breathing heavily]
- 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,950 Son, your mother and I
- 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,910 have noticed a change in your behavior.
- 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:27,539 And we're worried that you might be involved in a gang.
- 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,499 A what? Oh, you mean the fellas.
- 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,126 Well, sure, but I can't talk about the club
- 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,003 on account of it's s-super secret, dog.
- 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,630 Then it's true! Oh, Ryan, it's true!
- 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,758 [Sobs] Why you be tripping, Mom?
- 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,427 I mean, come on. I'm finally a part of something, very much.
- 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,971 Jimmy, those people you're hanging out with are no good.
- 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,015 Yo, don't be dissing my niggas, dog.
- 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,933 They're my f-friends.
- 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,144 And what about your stand-up comedy, Jim, huh?
- 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,937 Are you just giving up on that, too?
- 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,814 Nobody cared about my stand-up comedy!
- 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,399 All that hard work just to be outshined
- 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,860 by C-Christopher Reeve the super butthole!
- 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,528 Jimmy, we've told you before.
- 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,489 God made you the way he did for a reason.
- 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,490 Right, because you and Mom
- 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,408 used to make fun of crippled kids in high school.
- 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,910 That's right -- You were sent here
- 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,661 through the vengeful and angry hand of God
- 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,288 to teach your mother and I a lesson.
- 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,998 And that's a big responsibility, Son.
- 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,208 Look, my gang,
- 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,293 which I can't talk about because it's super secret,
- 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,753 is the most important thing to me now.
- 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:15,837 And if you two don't like it,
- 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,548 you can just pass the blunt to the nigga on your left.
- 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:23,094 [Sobbing]
- 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,806 Where's that delivery of new fetuses?
- 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:27,516 Feeling weak again.
- 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,267 Here's the new shipment, sir.
- 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,353 Hey! [ Grunting ]
- 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,730 [ Slurping ]
- 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,400 Hello there, Christopher.
- 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,278 Well, well, Gene Hackman, my old nemesis from the movies.
- 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,488 How are you?
- 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,240 I'm good. And you?
- 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:46,910 I am better with each passing day; stronger and more agile.
- 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,537 [Slurping]
- 00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:52,457 Christopher, I've come to ask you to stop what you're doing.
- 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,501 What?
- 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,170 Using stem cells is like playing god.
- 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,214 You should leave nature alone.
- 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,383 And go back to the way I was?
- 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,426 Is that what you're saying, Hackman?
- 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:05,095 I'm saying that sometimes you need
- 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,514 to just live with the cards you're dealt, Christopher.
- 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:08,765 Stop calling me Christopher!
- 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,226 That name no longer has meaning to me!
- 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,144 Christopher was someone who lived in a wheelchair,
- 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,188 always being pushed around by others!
- 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,816 The old Christopher Reeve is dead!
- 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,944 From now on, I am...
- 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,697 Chris!
- 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:27,158 ♪ 65 b-bottles of beer on the wall ♪
- 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:27,826 ♪ 65... ♪
- 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,620 [Mid-tempo hip-hop playing]
- 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:33,707 Payback time, motherfucker!
- 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,251 J-Jesus Christ! [Gunfire, glass shattering]
- 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,131 Holy g-guacamole!
- 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:45,802 Freakin' frijoles!
- 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,559 Leapin' l-langosta. [Glass breaks]
- 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,477 East Side Bloods!
- 00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:55,854 [Tires screech]
- 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,898 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,482 We're Detectives Hyde and Richardson,
- 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,067 from the Special Gang Unit in Denver.
- 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,361 Any word on who shot up me and Timmy's houses, officers?
- 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,448 Word on the street is it was a retaliation hit by the Bloods.
- 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,033 The B-Bloods?
- 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,243 You know, smart-mouth -- your rival gang.
- 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,745 The Bloods are at war with the Crips.
- 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,163 They kill each other all the time.
- 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,205 T-They do?
- 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,207 Don't act like you don't know, you little punk!
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,751 The Crips and Bloods hate each other,
- 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,086 and if you stay in that gang, you're gonna end up dead, too.
- 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,880 But -- But why do they hate each other?
- 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,717 Look, kid, I used to be a Crip myself, but I'm not anymore.
- 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,178 Oh, so you used s-stem cells like Christopher Reeve?
- 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,137 Come on.
- 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,097 The only way these kids are gonna get out of their gang
- 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,390 is to get killed.
- 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:33,767 [Sobbing]
- 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,101 Sarah!
- 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,102 Oh, boy, Timmy.
- 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,395 We should have never started a gang
- 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,355 for people crippled from birth.
- 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,814 Now they're at war with the people
- 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,066 who were crippled in an accident.
- 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,777 Boy, were we wrong. - Timmy.
- 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,904 Wow. W-We've got to do something, Timmy.
- 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,239 We've got to get the Crips and Bloods to s-stop fighting.
- 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,033 I bet if we could just get them together.
- 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,326 But how?
- 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,496 W-Wait a minute! I've got it! A lock-in at the rec center!
- 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,497 We did it for our church once.
- 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,332 All we do is rent out the rec center overnight.
- 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,833 They lock the doors so nobody can leave,
- 00:15:58,959 --> 00:15:59,709 and everyone has the whole night
- 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,336 to play in the swimming pool and laugh and talk.
- 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,253 Timmy!
- 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,254 You get all the Crips you can
- 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,673 to the rec center tomorrow night, Timmy.
- 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,132 I'll try to get all the B-Bloods there.
- 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,094 - Timmy! - This is gonna be t-terrific!
- 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,722 Tom, several years ago, actor Christopher Reeve
- 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,808 had a horrible accident and was paralyzed.
- 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:15,934 The irony, of course,
- 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,853 was that the man who played Superman could no longer walk.
- 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,188 America watched in wonder
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,857 as he managed to move one of his fingers, then his arms.
- 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,235 And now, seen for the first time on HBC,
- 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,655 Christopher Reeve is going to lift a truck up over his head.
- 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,907 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,285 [Cheers and applause]
- 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,913 Oh, what a fighter. - That brave, brave man.
- 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,915 He's an inspiration to us all.
- 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,251 Tom, the irony is even more irony-y,
- 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:43,128 as it appears that the stem cells
- 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,755 have given Christopher Reeve almost superhuman strength.
- 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,966 Chris, that's enough.
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,468 Hello, Gene. So good to see you.
- 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,469 You're cured, Chris.
- 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,471 It's time to stop using stem cells.
- 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,432 Stem-cell research has made me stronger
- 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,599 than I ever thought possible!
- 00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:57,600 Why stop now?
- 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,352 Uh, Tom, apparently Gene Hackman,
- 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,813 the man who played Superman's enemy Lex Luthor in the movies,
- 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:05,233 has now shown up as a celebrity protester of stem-cell research.
- 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,777 If that isn't ironic, Tom, I don't know what is.
- 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,654 They're affecting your mind, Chris.
- 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:13,241 If you won't stop using stem cells, then we'll stop you.
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,327 Stop me? Stop me? Ha!
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,496 [Creaking]
- 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,582 [Crowd screaming]
- 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,250 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,711 You won't stop me, Hack Man!
- 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,796 [Laughing]
- 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,468 Tom, if irony were made of strawberries,
- 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:34,554 we'd all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now.
- 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,098 [Mid-tempo hip-hop playing]
- 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,308 Come on in, everybody.
- 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,478 Lots of s-surprises and t-treats inside.
- 00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:44,355 Great to see you all. What a terrific audience.
- 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,233 You sure you got everything you need, young man?
- 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,943 We sure do. Thanks, Mr. Appleb--by.
- 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,487 Just remember to make sure
- 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,739 the kids play safe in the pool area.
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:53,573 You bet.
- 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,325 I'll be back at 7:00 to let you out.
- 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,077 You kids have a good time.
- 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,161 Oh, we will.
- 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,163 [Keys jingling, latch locks]
- 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,665 [Indistinct conversations]
- 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,667 [Dramatic music plays]
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,128 The Bloods! - Oh shit! It's a trap!
- 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,089 Motherfuckin' Crips trying to smoke us all out!
- 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,049 What the hell is going on here?
- 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,759 It's called a lock-in at the rec center.
- 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,427 We can use all the rec-center facilities.
- 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,137 We can play b-basketball, go swimming,
- 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,472 or just kick it in the lounge area
- 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,099 with some games and p-puzzles.
- 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,183 Timmy!
- 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,893 But nobody can leave until 7:00 a.m.,
- 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,186 so if you want to have a good time,
- 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,938 you're all just gonna have to learn to get along.
- 00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,982 [Guns cocking]
- 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:36,533 [Singsong voice] There's pizza.
- 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:37,909 Tom, over five years ago,
- 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,536 doctors told actor Christopher Reeve
- 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,162 that he would never walk again.
- 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,872 But the resilient actor fought back,
- 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,165 struggled against all odds,
- 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,377 and has now built his very own legion of doom!
- 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:50,296 The once immobile Mr. Reeve says his new organization
- 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,757 will be committed to world domination and evil.
- 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,260 What an inspirational story, Tom.
- 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,137 I have chosen each member
- 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,097 of this elite group of supervillains
- 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:02,934 for their outstanding treachery, their desire for world conquest,
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,395 and their hatred of all things good!
- 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,273 And I've assembled this group for one purpose --
- 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:11,901 to once and for all find a way to...
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,070 get rid of Hack Man!
- 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,447 [Laughs evilly]
- 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:20,243 Uh, how about domination of the world?
- 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,871 Yeah, or, uh, death to the infidels?
- 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:23,955 Silence!
- 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,540 Our job is to see to it
- 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,750 that Hack Man is put out of commission.
- 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,210 Oh, boy, General Disarray.
- 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,546 Maybe we just ought to stay out of this one.
- 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,965 Not so fast, Chris!
- 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,258 Hack Man!
- 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,886 We just helped pass a ban on stem-cell research.
- 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,430 Your fetus-sucking days are over.
- 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,390 No. No!
- 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,058 And now we're going to put you somewhere
- 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,103 where you can never touch another fetus again.
- 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,773 You stupid mofos are dead! - Make the first shot, punk!
- 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,151 Hold it! Don't you see?
- 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,236 It doesn't matter if we were crippled from birth
- 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,654 or crippled in an accident.
- 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,156 We're all brothers.
- 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,575 Save it, fool! Crips ain't our brothers!
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,535 Look, we have the whole rec center to ourselves.
- 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,454 Can't we all just try having some fun together?
- 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:05,914 You talking crazy, dog.
- 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:07,707 Yeah. We ain't playing, sucker!
- 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,083 Why don't we at least give it a chance?
- 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,002 I mean, come on.
- 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,340 Wait a minute. What did you say?
- 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,634 I said, "I mean, come on."
- 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,052 [Down-tempo music plays]
- 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,387 You know, maybe he's right.
- 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,348 I mean, come on.
- 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:24,974 Come on.
- 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,394 I guess we could at least give having fun together a try.
- 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,729 It's like, come on.
- 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,314 Yeah. Come on.
- 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,565 Yeah, that's right. Come on.
- 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,900 Come on. - Come on.
- 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,818 Yeah, come on. - That's right. Come on.
- 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,863 ♪ P's and Q's are important to avoid a squabble ♪
- 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,491 ♪ They break you off something, break them something harder ♪
- 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:44,702 ♪ Make sure they ass understand how you coming from, respect ♪
- 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,120 Got to give you two dogs props
- 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,956 for putting an end to all this hate.
- 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,999 I told you -- Lock-in at the rec center always works.
- 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,834 And, you know, I've learned something, too.
- 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,836 I was player-hating C-Christopher butthole Reeve
- 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,505 because he got more attention than me.
- 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:56,673 But just like y-you guys,
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,259 I need to learn to control my a-anger.
- 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,385 Right on!
- 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:03,054 Hey, little Roller, try some of this chronic shit.
- 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,264 Timmy!
- 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,556 [ Inhales ]
- 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:08,101 Well, I guess we all learned that trying to get along
- 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,186 is way better than p-p-player hating.
- 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,522 The gang wrote a song about it. Why don't we listen in?
- 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:15,191 ♪ Used to be Crips and Bloods didn't get along ♪
- 00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,735 ♪ But now we're all a family, so we wrote this song ♪
- 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,154 ♪ Na na na, Crips and Bloods ♪
- 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,323 ♪ Na na na, hope and love ♪
- 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,867 ♪ Na na na, friendly thugs ♪
- 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:28,788 You haven't seen the last of me, Hack Man!
- 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:33,376 I will be ba-a-a-ck!
- 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,670 Dude, I am so glad we stayed out of that one.
- 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:36,921 Me too.
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