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Убить Санта-Клауса
Red Sleigh Down
Сезон: 06Серия: 17
Описание
Картман старается принести Рождество в разрушенный Ирак, чтобы попасть в список хороших детей и получить подарок. В финале эпизода возвращается Кенни.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,529 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:32,491 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000 A-All right. I-I'm done.
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,001 You're done? - Y-Yes.
- 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,836 I-I've tallied up all the times you've been naughty
- 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,337 and deducted the times you've been nice.
- 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:46,714 Yeah. So, how's it look?
- 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,924 It doesn't look good, Eric. It doesn't look good.
- 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,052 But I'll still be getting presents this year, right?
- 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,595 A-Actually, it looks like, this year,
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,681 you're gonna owe Santa 306 presents.
- 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,265 What?!
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,309 4,312 instances of being naughty
- 00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,061 against three deductions of being nice.
- 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,187 It's -- It's just bad.
- 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,355 Three? You didn't deduct all my nice invoices.
- 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:04,690 Look! What about this one?
- 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,067 Well, I didn't think
- 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:08,152 "hitting Clyde in the balls with slingshot"
- 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,361 really counted as nice.
- 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,697 It was nice for Token. He laughed for like 20 minutes.
- 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,365 Y-You can't deduct things like that, Eric.
- 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,034 Santa will know, and he'll come after you.
- 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,411 I have to get that Haibo robot doll, you son of a bitch!
- 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,121 Hey, I'm just your naughty-and-nice accountant.
- 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,790 Don't blame me for the numbers.
- 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,959 Haven't you seen the Haibo doll? It's like a pet -- a robot pet!
- 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,878 You have to feed it and pet it, or else it dies,
- 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,046 and it's the coolest thing ever!
- 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,464 Santa has to bring me one!
- 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,174 W-Well, aren't there any other nice things
- 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,717 you've done recently we can write off here?
- 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,428 Uh...Oh! I-I brushed my teeth last night.
- 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,806 Brushing your teeth isn't naughty or nice, Eric.
- 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,557 It just -- It falls more into the category
- 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,017 of...brushing your teeth.
- 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,560 There's still time before Christmas.
- 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354 Can't I still make up for it?
- 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,940 If you cured cancer and AIDS next week,
- 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,650 you would still owe two presents.
- 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:48,776 Jesus Christ!
- 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,195 I-I'm afraid you're gonna have to find a way to do
- 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,825 the nicest, greatest thing anyone has ever done...ever.
- 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,494 Good evening, everyone.
- 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,455 In a moment, we'll be lighting the South Park Christmas tree
- 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,832 to kick off the holidays!
- 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:06,961 Christmas Tree! Christmas Tree!
- 00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:09,672 Hi, guys! A very merry Christmas to you!
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,340 God bless us, every one!
- 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,716 What are you doing, Cartman?
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,718 I'm just letting you guys know how special you are to me.
- 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,220 But now, before we light the tree,
- 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,972 I think we should all reflect for a moment
- 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,015 on those who are less fortunate than us.
- 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,561 Right now in Iraq, there are children who fear us
- 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,104 and what we might do to their country.
- 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,939 The threat of war touches us all.
- 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,400 But over in Iraq, there is no Christmas.
- 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:30,526 They have nothing.
- 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,194 I hate when the mayor uses Christmas
- 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,487 for her own political agenda.
- 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,989 Light the damn tree!
- 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:36,031 Yeah!
- 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,825 Christmas tree! Christmas Tree!
- 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,660 Oh, my God. That's it. - What's it?
- 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:40,661 Don't you see?
- 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,830 This time of year, we should be bringing Christmas
- 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:43,914 to the less fortunates!
- 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,666 Follow me!
- 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,085 You guys, come on! Right now!
- 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:49,587 All right.
- 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,548 Here to light the Christmas tree is a very special young man
- 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,050 who shows us all the true meaning of Christmas --
- 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,093 Jimmy.
- 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,055 Wow. What a terrific audience.
- 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,807 Thank you for giving me this great honor, Mayor.
- 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,311 B-Before I I-light the tree, I was wondering if I could sing
- 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:08,189 my favorite C-Christmas song real quick?
- 00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,315 Aww!
- 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,775 Well, we'd love a Christmas song, wouldn't we, folks?
- 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,612 Christmas songs! Christmas songs!
- 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,448 All right. H-Here it goes.
- 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,952 ♪ On the first day of C-C... ♪
- 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:27,208 ♪ Christmas, my true... t-true -- true love ♪
- 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:32,546 ♪ Ga-Ga-Gave to m... ♪
- 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:36,550 ♪ M-M-M-M-Me ♪
- 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:40,471 ♪ A par-- a par-- par... ♪
- 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805 Oh, no.
- 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,392 And here's some old toys that I don't need anymore!
- 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,519 And here -- here are some Christmas cookies!
- 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,771 And some holly and mistletoe!
- 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,356 Oh, this will be the happiest Christmas
- 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,732 the Middle East has ever seen!
- 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,317 Guys, get those lights down from the door.
- 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,152 We'll give them to the needy Iraqis, too!
- 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,403 Cartman, why are you doing this?
- 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,821 They don't have Christmas there, guys.
- 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:58,906 We have to give it to them.
- 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,532 That's a retarded idea that won't work.
- 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,575 Why are you really doing this?
- 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,078 Howdy ho!
- 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,832 Mr. Hankey!
- 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,584 Oh, I hate that stupid Christmas poo.
- 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629 Hello, Mr. Hankey! A merry Christmas to you!
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,548 Gee whiz! Things sure look Christmasy out here!
- 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,050 What are you boys doing?
- 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,885 Cartman is trying to bring Christmas to Iraq.
- 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,637 The people of Iraq deserve a good Christmas
- 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,888 just like everyone else.
- 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,431 Well, gosh, Eric.
- 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,393 Looks like you really have the Christmas spirit!
- 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,398 I know someone who can help -- Santa Claus!
- 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:33,065 Really?
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:33,899 Really? - Really?
- 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,860 Sure! We should take this stuff to him right away!
- 00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,696 But how are we gonna get to the North Pole?
- 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,322 Oh, that's no problem!
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,242 We just need a little Christmas magic!
- 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,170 All aboard the Poo-Choo Express!
- 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,213 Wow!
- 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,257 Ooh, that smells. - Yeah.
- 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,134 Next stop -- the North Pole!
- 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,052 Get the rest of the stuff, you guys!
- 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,345 I don't really want to get on that.
- 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,179 Me neither.
- 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,682 We have to bring Christmas to those less fortunates!
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,683 Now come on!
- 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,643 Let's go, Poo-Choo Train!
- 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,228 Poo-Choo!
- 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,483 ♪ Poo-Choo Train's laying down its tracks ♪
- 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,027 ♪ With a... ♪ Poo-Choo!
- 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,737 ♪ All the way and back ♪
- 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,281 ♪ Poo-Poo Train is my favorite thing ♪
- 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,534 ♪ Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing ♪
- 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,244 Dude, what the hell has gotten into Cartman?
- 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:27,995 I don't know.
- 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,665 ♪ Christmastime wouldn't be the same ♪
- 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,669 ♪ Without hugs and kisses and a Poo-Choo Train ♪
- 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,547 ♪ And a p-partridge ♪
- 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,967 ♪ In a p-p-pear ♪
- 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,804 ♪ T-T-Tree ♪
- 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:49,475 ♪ On the third day of C-- ♪
- 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,102 ♪ C-Chri-- Chri-- ♪
- 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,856 Here we are, kids -- the North Pole!
- 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,861 Finally! - God! It took forever!
- 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,529 Wow! Is that where Santa lives?
- 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:07,159 That's it -- Santa's fortress of solitude!
- 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,913 Mr. Hankey!
- 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,666 We need to see Santa right away on urgent Christmas business.
- 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,502 Sure thing!
- 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,381 Hey, aren't you guys the Underpants Gnomes?
- 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,632 Ten months out of the year.
- 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,509 But this time of year, we help Santa!
- 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,885 Here he is!
- 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,888 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,014 Wow!
- 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,599 Howdy ho, Santa!
- 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,351 Mr. Hankey, how are you?
- 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,228 All ready for Christmas?
- 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,938 I was just starting to look over
- 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,024 the new naughty-and-nice list the gnomes prepared for me.
- 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,277 Oh. Are the tabulations all closed off, then?
- 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,572 Oh, no. They keep it open until midnight of Christmas Eve.
- 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,700 Some kids actually try to cram in a lot of niceness
- 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:49,785 right at the end.
- 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,995 Oh, that's so lame of them.
- 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,164 Santa, my friends are trying to do something
- 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,041 very special this Christmas.
- 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,126 Tell him, Eric.
- 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,253 Well, Santa, it's just that I was thinking
- 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,713 about all the people in Iraq who are afraid we might bomb them.
- 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,466 And I just thought, well, maybe it wouldn't hurt
- 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,636 to send them a little bit of our Christmas spirit as well.
- 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,138 You know, you're right.
- 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,850 Santa hasn't been to that part of the world in a long time.
- 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,353 Perhaps Santa could bring peace to this whole situation.
- 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,646 That's what I thought.
- 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,065 Gnomes, load up the sleigh with toys!
- 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,443 Santa's going to make a special run!
- 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,652 All right!
- 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,573 And you boys can all watch me from our flight-control room.
- 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,241 Hooray!
- 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:34,538 ♪ And a p-p-partridge in a p-pear tree ♪
- 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:40,169 ♪ On the f-fourth day of C-C-C-Christmas ♪
- 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,257 ♪ My t-true love g-gave to m-me ♪
- 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,886 This is Santa's flight-control center.
- 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,430 From here, we can monitor Santa from satellite
- 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,891 as he travels the globe delivering presents!
- 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:54,975 Wow! Cool!
- 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,979 Hey, it looks like Santa's already made it to Baghdad!
- 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:02,983 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, everyone!
- 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,076 Ho, ho, ho! A merry Christmas to all!
- 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,664 Merry Christmas!
- 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,754 I'm hit! I'm hit!
- 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,672 Sleigh is hit!
- 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,757 I repeat -- Sleigh is hit!
- 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,259 Instrument failure at 0600 feet!
- 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,181 The sleigh is going down!
- 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,182 Sleigh is going down.
- 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,767 I repeat -- Sleigh is going down!
- 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:37,935 Hang on, Santa!
- 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:41,563 Sleigh 1 is going down. He is going down.
- 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,816 Scramble the ground troops to stand by for deployment.
- 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,781 01 down. 01 down.
- 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,116 Repeat -- 01 down.
- 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,580 We got a red sleigh down. We got a red sleigh down.
- 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,835 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole.
- 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,507 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole.
- 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,175 Mr. Kringle?
- 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,391 Jesus Christ! They killed him!
- 00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:20,602 No. Santa Claus can't be dead. He -- He can't.
- 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,771 Why would Iraqis do that? Why?
- 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,191 It certainly doesn't seem very Christmasy of them.
- 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,319 North Pole, this is Santa.
- 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,946 Santa, are you all right?
- 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,322 What is your status?
- 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,408 Sleigh is down.
- 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,202 Reindeer...all dead.
- 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,122 Both Santa's legs are broken.
- 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,749 Santa's...very sad.
- 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,960 Santa will have to --
- 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,211 Oh, no.
- 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,629 They're coming for me!
- 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,674 Stay back, you bastards! Stay back!
- 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:53,844 Oh, no.
- 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,178 What are you gnomes sitting there for?!
- 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,221 You have to go rescue him!
- 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,015 What the hell are <i>we</i> supposed to do?
- 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,349 We're like nine inches tall!
- 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,686 Now I'm never gonna get my Haibo robot doll!
- 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187 Is that what this is all about?!
- 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,648 You came up with this whole idea so you could get a stupid toy?!
- 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,109 It's not stupid! It's a toy that you can starve!
- 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,278 If you don't feed it, it dies! It's so cool!
- 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,487 Well, good going, asshole.
- 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,573 Thanks to you, there's not gonna be any Christmas,
- 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700 and there's no one left to help us!
- 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,619 Oh, Christ.
- 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,287 Jesus!
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:23,790 Hey, that's right. Jesus can save anybody!
- 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,419 Follow me! You can take Santa's backup sleigh!
- 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:37,304 ♪ On the f-f-fifth day of C-C-Christmas ♪
- 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:43,393 ♪ My t-true love gave to m-me ♪
- 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:47,230 ♪ Five g-g-golden ♪
- 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,692 ♪ R-R-Ri...Rings ♪
- 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,571 ♪ Ba dum dum d-dum ♪
- 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,949 ♪ Four call...ing b-birds ♪
- 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,663 We fed Jesus Christ's data into the autopilot.
- 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,873 The sleigh should be able to take you right to him!
- 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,209 I hope so, or else Santa Claus is as good as dead.
- 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,461 Here it is -- Red Sleigh 2.
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,130 Come on, gang. It's up to us to save Christmas!
- 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,549 Tell Santa's workers to keep making toys.
- 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,510 We'll have Santa back in no time!
- 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,390 Uh, how -- how do we start this thing?
- 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,600 You just have to call out the reindeer's names!
- 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,518 Oh, yeah!
- 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,186 On, Dasher, on, Prancer, on, Comet --
- 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,688 No! No! They're all dead!
- 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,898 You have to call out the new ones!
- 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,401 On, Steven, on, Fluffy, on, Horace and Chantel!
- 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,320 On, Skippy and Rainbow and Patches and Montel!
- 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784 Good luck finding Jesus!
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,288 Wow! Look, you guys! We're riding in Santa's sleigh!
- 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,457 We should be able to find Jesus in no time!
- 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,501 ♪ I'm riding in Santa's sleigh ♪
- 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,962 ♪ So high above the trees at Christmastime ♪
- 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,630 ♪ With candy-cane wishes and smi-- ♪
- 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,549 What are you doing?
- 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,676 I'm having a precious Christmastime moment, Kyle,
- 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,510 if you don't mind.
- 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,221 Singing a Christmas song isn't gonna get you nice deductions.
- 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,390 It's because of you that Santa's sleigh got shot down!
- 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,267 It isn't my fault that Iraqis are filled with hate!
- 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,102 All I'm saying is it's gonna take a lot of singing
- 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,354 to make up for that!
- 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,690 ♪ It's Christmas magic time on Santa's sleigh ♪
- 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,108 ♪ So high in the sky ♪
- 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,652 ♪ Candy cane, children's smiles ♪
- 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,071 ♪ Six geese a-laying ♪
- 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,868 ♪ F-Five gold r... ♪
- 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,120 ♪ R-Rings ♪
- 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:30,375 ♪ Ba dum dum d-d-d-dum ♪
- 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,086 ♪ F-Four calling b-birds ♪
- 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,924 Where are you taking me?
- 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,139 You are all being very naughty.
- 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,769 Why you come to Iraq, my main man?
- 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,731 To bring happiness and joy to the children.
- 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,901 And this is -- this is what you think brings happy?
- 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653 This is material. This is commercialism.
- 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,781 Your country is sick. Sick.
- 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,451 No, your country has just lost all its Christmas spirit.
- 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,661 What's going on here?
- 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,872 America wants to bomb my house, my main man.
- 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,582 They want to kill my wife and children.
- 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,084 We need to know -- What is their plan?
- 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,587 I don't know. I live in the North Pole!
- 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,051 What are you doing?
- 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,969 They say that the Chinese were the first
- 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,430 to experiment with electroshock to the testicles.
- 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,809 Oh, no. Not Santa's balls!
- 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,528 What else is America planning?!
- 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,448 I'm gonna fucking kill you!
- 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,034 You're not in a position to kill anyone, my main man.
- 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,994 I just want you to tell me America's plan.
- 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,748 Then we're in for a long night, because I don't know shit.
- 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,422 In nome del mio padre, siete guarito.
- 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,217 Benedica, Jesus, benedica.
- 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,470 Jesus, mio bambino no puoi sentirsi.
- 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,639 Il vostro bambino se arguisto.
- 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,307 Bene, benedica!
- 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,647 La morte rossa!
- 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,110 Howdy ho!
- 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,446 Jesus!
- 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,365 Stan, Kyle, Mr. Hankey, and Eric Cartman.
- 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,033 What are you doing here, my children?
- 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,202 Jesus, Santa's sleigh was shot down over Iraq!
- 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,745 Santa? Is he all right?
- 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,706 We don't know. They lost all contact with him.
- 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,082 We have to get him out of there.
- 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,292 Do you know a way?
- 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,294 Yes. Yes, I think I do.
- 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,881 We need a little Christmas miracle.
- 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,013 Lock and load. We're going in!
- 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:53,101 ♪ On the s-s-seventh day of C-Christmas ♪
- 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,353 ♪ My t-true love ♪
- 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,439 ♪ G-G-G-G-G... ♪
- 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,070 You. You're a sick capitalist dog, my main man.
- 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,285 This is Baghdad? God. What a shithole.
- 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,163 I mean oh, wow. These poor, unfortunate people!
- 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,998 Red Sleigh 2, come in. - We're here!
- 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,917 You're coming up on the source of the signal.
- 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,084 You're right on top of him!
- 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,669 He must be in that building below us.
- 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,087 Land it on the roof, Mr. Hankey.
- 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,673 Howdy ho, Jesus.
- 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,097 Wait here. I can handle this.
- 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,435 Yea, look upon me and know me.
- 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,981 My children, you should know something --
- 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441 I'm packing.
- 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,028 Let's go!
- 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:48,907 This is such a magical Christmas adventure, you guys.
- 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:55,622 ♪ On the el-- e-eleventh day of C-Christmas ♪
- 00:15:55,747 --> 00:16:01,461 ♪ My t-true love gave to m-m-me ♪
- 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:06,800 ♪ E-Eleven p-p-p-pipers p-p-piping ♪
- 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,134 Drink it!
- 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,427 Drink the oil!
- 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,262 This is all you Western capitalists want!
- 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,516 Jesus Christ!
- 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,271 Aah!
- 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,316 Oh, thank -- thank God for you, Jesus.
- 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,359 Here. Can you walk?
- 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,695 Santa's legs are broken.
- 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,154 They are healed.
- 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,289 Santa.
- 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,334 I just couldn't do it.
- 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:45,422 I just couldn't let him live! He shocked Santa's balls!
- 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,425 More soldiers are coming!
- 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,176 Let's move! Move!
- 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:55,223 ♪ Eight m-maids a m-milking ♪
- 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,561 Get up the stairs! The sleigh is on the roof!
- 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,854 Jesus! Behind you!
- 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,859 Jesus!
- 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,904 No!
- 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,324 Jesus?
- 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,159 Jesus!
- 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,788 D-Don't worry, Jesus. It's nothing.
- 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,749 It's just a scratch.
- 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,752 You're a...bad liar.
- 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,338 Hey, b-but we sure gave 'em one hell of a fight, huh?
- 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,215 We sure did, Jesus.
- 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,719 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,679 Santa? - I'm here, Jesus.
- 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,308 Don't -- Don't ever... let them take away
- 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,310 our -- our Christmas spirit.
- 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,399 Oh, my God. Iraqis killed Jesus.
- 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,734 You bastards.
- 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,488 Come on, kids!
- 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,702 Get to the sleigh! Get to the sleigh!
- 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,208 Start the sleigh!
- 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:06,377 Uh, on, Steven, on, Fluffy, on, Horace and Chantel!
- 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,046 Uh... - On, Skippy and Rainbow
- 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,339 and Patches and Montel!
- 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,390 ♪ Look at me ♪
- 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,143 ♪ I'm riding high in Santa's sleigh ♪
- 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,312 ♪ It's a Christmas special time for me ♪
- 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,396 Oh, shut up, Cartman!
- 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,649 Your sweet Christmas act isn't fooling anybody!
- 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,775 I-It's not an act, Kyle!
- 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,819 All I wanted was for these people to understand
- 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:31,945 what Christmas means.
- 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,446 You're right, kid.
- 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,199 What are you doing, Santa?
- 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,284 I came to bring Christmas to Iraq,
- 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,328 and, by God, I'm gonna do it!
- 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,762 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,147 RPG, 4:00!
- 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:17,407 Boy, things are sure starting to look Christmasy now!
- 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,785 Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!
- 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,337 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
- 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,506 Ho ho ho ho ho!
- 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,719 ♪ And a p-p-partridge ♪
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:43,224 ♪ In a p-pear tree ♪
- 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,936 That's it?
- 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,147 That's it! The song's over! We can light the tree!
- 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,734 Oh, finally!
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,362 Go on, Jimmy. There's only five more seconds until Christmas.
- 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,872 Christmas is ruined again!
- 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,334 Ho ho ho!
- 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,718 Stan! - Kyle!
- 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,720 Mom! Dad! We rode in Santa's sleigh!
- 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:21,804 We brought Christmas to Iraq!
- 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,225 Everyone! Everyone, can I please have your attention?
- 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,852 Christmas is a very special time of year,
- 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,480 but this year, it almost didn't happen.
- 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:34,400 There's a man named Jesus who gave his life to save me.
- 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:38,321 And so I declare that, every year on Christmas Day,
- 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,491 we should remember Jesus for what he did
- 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,159 and thank him for it.
- 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,745 From now on, Christmas will be a day
- 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,374 for remembering a brave man named Jesus.
- 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,587 Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've got a lot of work to do.
- 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,256 I'll help you, Santa!
- 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,924 Oh, and boys...
- 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,593 you might want to check under the Christmas tree.
- 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:05,682 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,525 Wow! Look, you guys! Santa got us all Haibo dolls!
- 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,819 Aw, God damn it!
- 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,071 Cartman, I thought all you wanted was a Haibo doll!
- 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,365 Yeah. But not if you guys have one, too!
- 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,992 Now it's worthless and gay!
- 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,577 God damn it! I'll never try to be nice again!
- 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,455 All in all, I have to say this was a pretty special Christmas.
- 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,749 Rm mrph, mrph rmh rmphm? - Oh, hey, Kenny.
- 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,043 Dude, where have you been? - Rm, mrph rmhmhm rmphm rmh.
- 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,420 Come on! We got to tell you what happened!
- 00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:36,587 I'm sure glad it's over with! - Yeah.
- 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,506 But I feel like things are finally back to normal.
- 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,424 Mrph!
- 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,762 ♪ Poo-Choo Train's laying down its tracks ♪
- 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,306 - ♪ With a... ♪ - Poo-choo!
- 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,016 ♪ All the way and back ♪
- 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,643 ♪ Poo-Poo Train is my favorite thing ♪
- 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:54,272 ♪ Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing ♪
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,806 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,604 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,529 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:32,491 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,415 [ Calculator clicking ]
- 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000 A-All right. I-I'm done.
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,001 You're done? - Y-Yes.
- 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,836 I-I've tallied up all the times you've been naughty
- 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,337 and deducted the times you've been nice.
- 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:46,714 Yeah. So, how's it look?
- 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:48,924 It doesn't look good, Eric. It doesn't look good.
- 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,052 But I'll still be getting presents this year, right?
- 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,595 A-Actually, it looks like, this year,
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,681 you're gonna owe Santa 306 presents.
- 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,265 What?!
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,309 4,312 instances of being naughty
- 00:00:58,434 --> 00:01:00,061 against three deductions of being nice.
- 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,187 It's -- It's just bad.
- 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,355 Three? You didn't deduct all my nice invoices.
- 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:04,690 Look! What about this one?
- 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,067 Well, I didn't think
- 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:08,152 "hitting Clyde in the balls with slingshot"
- 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,361 really counted as nice.
- 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,697 It was nice for Token. He laughed for like 20 minutes.
- 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,365 Y-You can't deduct things like that, Eric.
- 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,034 Santa will know, and he'll come after you.
- 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,411 I have to get that Haibo robot doll, you son of a bitch!
- 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,121 Hey, I'm just your naughty-and-nice accountant.
- 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,790 Don't blame me for the numbers.
- 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,959 Haven't you seen the Haibo doll? It's like a pet -- a robot pet!
- 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,878 You have to feed it and pet it, or else it dies,
- 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,046 and it's the coolest thing ever!
- 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:28,464 Santa has to bring me one!
- 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,174 W-Well, aren't there any other nice things
- 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,717 you've done recently we can write off here?
- 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,428 Uh...Oh! I-I brushed my teeth last night.
- 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,806 Brushing your teeth isn't naughty or nice, Eric.
- 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,557 It just -- It falls more into the category
- 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,017 of...brushing your teeth.
- 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,560 There's still time before Christmas.
- 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354 Can't I still make up for it?
- 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:45,940 If you cured cancer and AIDS next week,
- 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,650 you would still owe two presents.
- 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:48,776 Jesus Christ!
- 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,195 I-I'm afraid you're gonna have to find a way to do
- 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,825 the nicest, greatest thing anyone has ever done...ever.
- 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,494 Good evening, everyone.
- 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,455 In a moment, we'll be lighting the South Park Christmas tree
- 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,832 to kick off the holidays!
- 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:06,961 [ Crowd cheering, chanting ] Christmas Tree! Christmas Tree!
- 00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:09,672 Hi, guys! A very merry Christmas to you!
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,340 God bless us, every one!
- 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,716 What are you doing, Cartman?
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,718 I'm just letting you guys know how special you are to me.
- 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,220 But now, before we light the tree,
- 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,972 I think we should all reflect for a moment
- 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,015 on those who are less fortunate than us.
- 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,561 Right now in Iraq, there are children who fear us
- 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,104 and what we might do to their country.
- 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,939 The threat of war touches us all.
- 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,400 But over in Iraq, there is no Christmas.
- 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:30,526 They have nothing.
- 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,194 I hate when the mayor uses Christmas
- 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,487 for her own political agenda.
- 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,989 Light the damn tree!
- 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:36,031 [All ] Yeah!
- 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,825 [ Crowd chanting ] Christmas tree! Christmas Tree!
- 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,660 Oh, my God. That's it. - What's it?
- 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:40,661 Don't you see?
- 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,830 This time of year, we should be bringing Christmas
- 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:43,914 to the less fortunates!
- 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,666 Follow me!
- 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,085 You guys, come on! Right now!
- 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:49,587 All right.
- 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,548 Here to light the Christmas tree is a very special young man
- 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,050 who shows us all the true meaning of Christmas --
- 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,093 Jimmy.
- 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,470 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,055 Wow. What a terrific audience.
- 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,807 Thank you for giving me this great honor, Mayor.
- 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,311 B-Before I I-light the tree, I was wondering if I could sing
- 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:08,189 my favorite C-Christmas song real quick?
- 00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,315 [All ] Aww!
- 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,775 Well, we'd love a Christmas song, wouldn't we, folks?
- 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,612 [ Crowd chanting ] Christmas songs! Christmas songs!
- 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,448 All right. H-Here it goes.
- 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:21,952 ♪ On the first day of C-C... ♪
- 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:27,208 ♪ Christmas, my true... t-true -- true love ♪
- 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:32,546 ♪ Ga-Ga-Gave to m... ♪
- 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:36,550 ♪ M-M-M-M-Me ♪
- 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:40,471 ♪ A par-- a par-- par... ♪
- 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805 Oh, no.
- 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,392 And here's some old toys that I don't need anymore!
- 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,519 And here -- here are some Christmas cookies!
- 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:48,771 And some holly and mistletoe!
- 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,356 Oh, this will be the happiest Christmas
- 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,732 the Middle East has ever seen!
- 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,317 Guys, get those lights down from the door.
- 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,152 We'll give them to the needy Iraqis, too!
- 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,403 Cartman, why are you doing this?
- 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,821 They don't have Christmas there, guys.
- 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:58,906 We have to give it to them.
- 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,532 That's a retarded idea that won't work.
- 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:01,575 Why are you really doing this?
- 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,078 Howdy ho!
- 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:07,456 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,832 Mr. Hankey!
- 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,584 Oh, I hate that stupid Christmas poo.
- 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629 Hello, Mr. Hankey! A merry Christmas to you!
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,548 Gee whiz! Things sure look Christmasy out here!
- 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,050 What are you boys doing?
- 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,885 Cartman is trying to bring Christmas to Iraq.
- 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,637 The people of Iraq deserve a good Christmas
- 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,888 just like everyone else.
- 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,431 Well, gosh, Eric.
- 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,393 Looks like you really have the Christmas spirit!
- 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,398 I know someone who can help -- Santa Claus!
- 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:33,065 Really?
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:33,899 Really? - Really?
- 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,860 Sure! We should take this stuff to him right away!
- 00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,696 But how are we gonna get to the North Pole?
- 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,322 Oh, that's no problem!
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,242 We just need a little Christmas magic!
- 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,787 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,170 All aboard the Poo-Choo Express!
- 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,213 Wow!
- 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,257 Ooh, that smells. - Yeah.
- 00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,134 Next stop -- the North Pole!
- 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,052 Get the rest of the stuff, you guys!
- 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,345 I don't really want to get on that.
- 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,179 Me neither.
- 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,682 We have to bring Christmas to those less fortunates!
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,683 Now come on!
- 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,643 Let's go, Poo-Choo Train!
- 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,228 Poo-Choo!
- 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,981 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,483 ♪ Poo-Choo Train's laying down its tracks ♪
- 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,027 ♪ With a... ♪ Poo-Choo!
- 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,737 ♪ All the way and back ♪
- 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,281 ♪ Poo-Poo Train is my favorite thing ♪
- 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,534 ♪ Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing ♪
- 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,244 Dude, what the hell has gotten into Cartman?
- 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:27,995 I don't know.
- 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,665 ♪ Christmastime wouldn't be the same ♪
- 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,669 ♪ Without hugs and kisses and a Poo-Choo Train ♪
- 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,547 ♪ And a p-partridge ♪
- 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,967 ♪ In a p-p-pear ♪
- 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,804 ♪ T-T-Tree ♪
- 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:49,475 ♪ On the third day of C-- ♪
- 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,102 ♪ C-Chri-- Chri-- ♪
- 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,354 [ Bell clanging ]
- 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,856 Here we are, kids -- the North Pole!
- 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,567 [ Coughing ]
- 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,861 Finally! - God! It took forever!
- 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,529 Wow! Is that where Santa lives?
- 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:07,159 That's it -- Santa's fortress of solitude!
- 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,286 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,913 Mr. Hankey!
- 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,666 We need to see Santa right away on urgent Christmas business.
- 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,502 Sure thing!
- 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,295 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,381 Hey, aren't you guys the Underpants Gnomes?
- 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,632 Ten months out of the year.
- 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,509 But this time of year, we help Santa!
- 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,885 Here he is!
- 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,888 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,014 [All ] Wow!
- 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,599 Howdy ho, Santa!
- 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,351 Mr. Hankey, how are you?
- 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,228 All ready for Christmas?
- 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,938 I was just starting to look over
- 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,024 the new naughty-and-nice list the gnomes prepared for me.
- 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,277 Oh. Are the tabulations all closed off, then?
- 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,572 Oh, no. They keep it open until midnight of Christmas Eve.
- 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,700 Some kids actually try to cram in a lot of niceness
- 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:49,785 right at the end.
- 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,995 Oh, that's so lame of them.
- 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,164 Santa, my friends are trying to do something
- 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,041 very special this Christmas.
- 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,126 Tell him, Eric.
- 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,253 Well, Santa, it's just that I was thinking
- 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,713 about all the people in Iraq who are afraid we might bomb them.
- 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,466 And I just thought, well, maybe it wouldn't hurt
- 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,636 to send them a little bit of our Christmas spirit as well.
- 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,138 You know, you're right.
- 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,850 Santa hasn't been to that part of the world in a long time.
- 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,353 Perhaps Santa could bring peace to this whole situation.
- 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,646 That's what I thought. [ Chuckles ]
- 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,065 Gnomes, load up the sleigh with toys!
- 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,443 Santa's going to make a special run!
- 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,652 All right!
- 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,573 And you boys can all watch me from our flight-control room.
- 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,241 Hooray!
- 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:34,538 ♪ And a p-p-partridge in a p-pear tree ♪
- 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:40,169 ♪ On the f-fourth day of C-C-C-Christmas ♪
- 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:45,257 ♪ My t-true love g-gave to m-me ♪
- 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,758 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,886 This is Santa's flight-control center.
- 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,430 From here, we can monitor Santa from satellite
- 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,891 as he travels the globe delivering presents!
- 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:54,975 Wow! Cool!
- 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,979 Hey, it looks like Santa's already made it to Baghdad!
- 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:02,983 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, everyone!
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,527 [ Bells jingling ]
- 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,489 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,076 Ho, ho, ho! A merry Christmas to all!
- 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:15,287 [ Speaking native language ]
- 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,664 Merry Christmas!
- 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,000 [ Ominous music plays ]
- 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,919 [ Explosion, clattering ]
- 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:23,754 I'm hit! I'm hit!
- 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,672 [Alarm blaring ] Sleigh is hit!
- 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,757 I repeat -- Sleigh is hit!
- 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:29,259 Instrument failure at 0600 feet!
- 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,970 [ Screaming ]
- 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,181 The sleigh is going down!
- 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,182 Sleigh is going down.
- 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,767 I repeat -- Sleigh is going down!
- 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:37,935 Hang on, Santa!
- 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:41,563 Sleigh 1 is going down. He is going down.
- 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,816 Scramble the ground troops to stand by for deployment.
- 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,653 [ Screaming ]
- 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,781 01 down. 01 down.
- 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,116 Repeat -- 01 down.
- 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,202 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,580 We got a red sleigh down. We got a red sleigh down.
- 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,291 [Alarm blaring ]
- 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,835 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole.
- 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,837 [ Click ]
- 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,507 Red Sleigh 1, this is North Pole.
- 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,175 Mr. Kringle?
- 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,721 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,391 Jesus Christ! They killed him!
- 00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:20,602 No. Santa Claus can't be dead. He -- He can't.
- 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,771 Why would Iraqis do that? Why?
- 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,191 It certainly doesn't seem very Christmasy of them.
- 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,319 North Pole, this is Santa.
- 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,946 Santa, are you all right?
- 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,322 What is your status?
- 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,408 Sleigh is down.
- 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,202 Reindeer...all dead.
- 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:40,122 Both Santa's legs are broken.
- 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,749 Santa's...very sad.
- 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,960 [ Static ] Santa will have to --
- 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,211 Oh, no.
- 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,629 They're coming for me!
- 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,674 Stay back, you bastards! Stay back!
- 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,093 [ Click ]
- 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:53,844 Oh, no.
- 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,178 What are you gnomes sitting there for?!
- 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,221 You have to go rescue him!
- 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,015 What the hell are <i>we</i> supposed to do?
- 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,349 We're like nine inches tall!
- 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,686 Now I'm never gonna get my Haibo robot doll!
- 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187 Is that what this is all about?!
- 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,648 You came up with this whole idea so you could get a stupid toy?!
- 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,109 It's not stupid! It's a toy that you can starve!
- 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,278 If you don't feed it, it dies! It's so cool!
- 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,487 Well, good going, asshole.
- 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,573 Thanks to you, there's not gonna be any Christmas,
- 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700 and there's no one left to help us!
- 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,619 Oh, Christ. [ Gasps ]
- 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,287 Jesus!
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:23,790 Hey, that's right. Jesus can save anybody!
- 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,419 Follow me! You can take Santa's backup sleigh!
- 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,591 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:37,304 ♪ On the f-f-fifth day of C-C-Christmas ♪
- 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:43,393 ♪ My t-true love gave to m-me ♪
- 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:47,230 ♪ Five g-g-golden ♪
- 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,692 ♪ R-R-Ri...Rings ♪
- 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,571 ♪ Ba dum dum d-dum ♪
- 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,949 ♪ Four call...ing b-birds ♪
- 00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,202 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,663 We fed Jesus Christ's data into the autopilot.
- 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,873 The sleigh should be able to take you right to him!
- 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,209 I hope so, or else Santa Claus is as good as dead.
- 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,461 Here it is -- Red Sleigh 2.
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,130 Come on, gang. It's up to us to save Christmas!
- 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,549 Tell Santa's workers to keep making toys.
- 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,510 We'll have Santa back in no time!
- 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:21,390 Uh, how -- how do we start this thing?
- 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,600 You just have to call out the reindeer's names!
- 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:24,518 Oh, yeah!
- 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,186 On, Dasher, on, Prancer, on, Comet --
- 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,688 No! No! They're all dead!
- 00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,898 You have to call out the new ones!
- 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,401 On, Steven, on, Fluffy, on, Horace and Chantel!
- 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,320 On, Skippy and Rainbow and Patches and Montel!
- 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:38,573 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,784 Good luck finding Jesus!
- 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,994 [ Bells jingling ]
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,288 Wow! Look, you guys! We're riding in Santa's sleigh!
- 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,457 We should be able to find Jesus in no time!
- 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,501 ♪ I'm riding in Santa's sleigh ♪
- 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,962 ♪ So high above the trees at Christmastime ♪
- 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,630 ♪ With candy-cane wishes and smi-- ♪
- 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,549 What are you doing?
- 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,676 I'm having a precious Christmastime moment, Kyle,
- 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:58,510 if you don't mind.
- 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,221 Singing a Christmas song isn't gonna get you nice deductions.
- 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,390 It's because of you that Santa's sleigh got shot down!
- 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,267 It isn't my fault that Iraqis are filled with hate!
- 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,102 All I'm saying is it's gonna take a lot of singing
- 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,354 to make up for that!
- 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,690 ♪ It's Christmas magic time on Santa's sleigh ♪
- 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,108 ♪ So high in the sky ♪
- 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,652 ♪ Candy cane, children's smiles ♪
- 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,071 ♪ Six geese a-laying ♪
- 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,868 ♪ F-Five gold r... ♪
- 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,120 ♪ R-Rings ♪
- 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:30,375 ♪ Ba dum dum d-d-d-dum ♪
- 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,086 ♪ F-Four calling b-birds ♪
- 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,005 [ Up-tempo music plays ] [ Gasps ]
- 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,924 Where are you taking me? [ Speaking native language ]
- 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:44,139 You are all being very naughty.
- 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,769 Why you come to Iraq, my main man?
- 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,731 To bring happiness and joy to the children.
- 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,901 And this is -- this is what you think brings happy?
- 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653 This is material. This is commercialism.
- 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,781 Your country is sick. Sick.
- 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,451 No, your country has just lost all its Christmas spirit.
- 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,661 [ Fabric tears ] What's going on here?
- 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,872 America wants to bomb my house, my main man.
- 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,582 They want to kill my wife and children.
- 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,084 We need to know -- What is their plan?
- 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,587 I don't know. I live in the North Pole!
- 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:18,173 [ Music continues ]
- 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,051 [ Clicking, humming ] What are you doing?
- 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,969 They say that the Chinese were the first
- 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,430 to experiment with electroshock to the testicles.
- 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,809 Oh, no. Not Santa's balls!
- 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:31,937 [ Electricity crackling, Santa screaming ]
- 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:37,150 [ Groaning, coughing ]
- 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,528 What else is America planning?!
- 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,029 [ Coughs, spits ]
- 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,448 I'm gonna fucking kill you!
- 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,034 You're not in a position to kill anyone, my main man.
- 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,994 I just want you to tell me America's plan.
- 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,748 Then we're in for a long night, because I don't know shit.
- 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,625 - [ Clicking, humming; Santa screaming ]
- 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,419 [ Choir vocalizing ]
- 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,422 In nome del mio padre, siete guarito.
- 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,217 Benedica, Jesus, benedica.
- 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,470 Jesus, mio bambino no puoi sentirsi.
- 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,639 Il vostro bambino se arguisto.
- 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,307 Bene, benedica!
- 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,768 [ Boys screaming ]
- 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,647 La morte rossa!
- 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,607 [ Bells jingling ]
- 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,110 Howdy ho!
- 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,237 [All screaming ]
- 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,446 Jesus!
- 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,365 Stan, Kyle, Mr. Hankey, and Eric Cartman.
- 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,033 What are you doing here, my children?
- 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,202 Jesus, Santa's sleigh was shot down over Iraq!
- 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,745 Santa? Is he all right?
- 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,706 We don't know. They lost all contact with him.
- 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,082 We have to get him out of there.
- 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,292 Do you know a way?
- 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,294 Yes. Yes, I think I do.
- 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,881 We need a little Christmas miracle.
- 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,427 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,013 Lock and load. We're going in!
- 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:53,101 ♪ On the s-s-seventh day of C-Christmas ♪
- 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,353 ♪ My t-true love ♪
- 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,439 ♪ G-G-G-G-G... ♪
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,691 - [ Electricity crackling; Santa screaming ]
- 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:00,817 [ Groans, coughs ]
- 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,070 You. You're a sick capitalist dog, my main man.
- 00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,405 [ Screams ]
- 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,657 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,285 This is Baghdad? God. What a shithole.
- 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,163 I mean oh, wow. These poor, unfortunate people!
- 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:14,998 Red Sleigh 2, come in. - We're here!
- 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,917 You're coming up on the source of the signal.
- 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,084 You're right on top of him!
- 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,669 He must be in that building below us.
- 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,087 Land it on the roof, Mr. Hankey.
- 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,673 Howdy ho, Jesus.
- 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,967 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,887 [ Gun cocks ] [ Speaking native language ]
- 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,097 Wait here. I can handle this.
- 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:33,141 [ Speaking native language ]
- 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,435 Yea, look upon me and know me.
- 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,270 [ Shouting in native language ]
- 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,981 My children, you should know something --
- 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441 I'm packing.
- 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,735 [ Groaning, gunshots ]
- 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,028 Let's go!
- 00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:48,907 This is such a magical Christmas adventure, you guys.
- 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:55,622 ♪ On the el-- e-eleventh day of C-Christmas ♪
- 00:15:55,747 --> 00:16:01,461 ♪ My t-true love gave to m-m-me ♪
- 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:06,800 ♪ E-Eleven p-p-p-pipers p-p-piping ♪
- 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,134 [ Groaning ] Drink it!
- 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,427 Drink the oil!
- 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,262 This is all you Western capitalists want!
- 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,516 Jesus Christ!
- 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,685 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,271 Aah!
- 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,316 Oh, thank -- thank God for you, Jesus.
- 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,359 Here. Can you walk?
- 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,695 Santa's legs are broken.
- 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,154 They are healed.
- 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,156 [ Harp plays, choir vocalizing ]
- 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,533 [ Gun cocks, grunting ]
- 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,575 [ Whimpering ]
- 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,744 [ Grunts ]
- 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,289 Santa.
- 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,334 I just couldn't do it.
- 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:45,422 I just couldn't let him live! He shocked Santa's balls!
- 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:46,673 [Alarm blaring ]
- 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:48,425 More soldiers are coming!
- 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,176 Let's move! Move!
- 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:55,223 ♪ Eight m-maids a m-milking ♪
- 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,350 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,561 Get up the stairs! The sleigh is on the roof!
- 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,854 Jesus! Behind you!
- 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,231 [ Gunshot ]
- 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,859 [ Distorted voices ] Jesus!
- 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,904 No!
- 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,573 [ Grunts ]
- 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,324 [ Down-tempo music plays ] Jesus?
- 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,159 Jesus!
- 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,578 [ Groaning ]
- 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,788 D-Don't worry, Jesus. It's nothing.
- 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,749 It's just a scratch.
- 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,752 You're a...bad liar.
- 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,338 Hey, b-but we sure gave 'em one hell of a fight, huh?
- 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,215 We sure did, Jesus.
- 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,383 [ Grunts ]
- 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,719 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,679 Santa? - I'm here, Jesus.
- 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,308 Don't -- Don't ever... let them take away
- 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,310 our -- our Christmas spirit.
- 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,896 [ Groans ]
- 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,399 Oh, my God. Iraqis killed Jesus.
- 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,734 You bastards.
- 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:48,902 [ Men shouting ]
- 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,488 Come on, kids! [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,823 [ Screaming ]
- 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,702 Get to the sleigh! Get to the sleigh!
- 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,208 Start the sleigh!
- 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:06,377 Uh, on, Steven, on, Fluffy, on, Horace and Chantel!
- 00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:08,046 Uh... - On, Skippy and Rainbow
- 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,339 and Patches and Montel!
- 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,466 [ Music continues ]
- 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,052 [ Guns clicking ]
- 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:17,722 [ Gunfire ]
- 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,390 ♪ Look at me ♪
- 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,143 ♪ I'm riding high in Santa's sleigh ♪
- 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,312 ♪ It's a Christmas special time for me ♪
- 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,396 Oh, shut up, Cartman!
- 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,649 Your sweet Christmas act isn't fooling anybody!
- 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,775 I-It's not an act, Kyle!
- 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,819 All I wanted was for these people to understand
- 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:31,945 what Christmas means.
- 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,446 You're right, kid.
- 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,199 What are you doing, Santa?
- 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,284 I came to bring Christmas to Iraq,
- 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,328 and, by God, I'm gonna do it!
- 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,622 [ Beep, whirring ]
- 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,254 [ Indistinct shouting ]
- 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:52,757 [ "Joy to the World" plays ]
- 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,762 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,147 [ Speaking native language ] RPG, 4:00!
- 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,315 [ Music continues ]
- 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:17,407 Boy, things are sure starting to look Christmasy now!
- 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,785 Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!
- 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,337 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
- 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,506 Ho ho ho ho ho!
- 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,719 ♪ And a p-p-partridge ♪
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:43,224 ♪ In a p-pear tree ♪
- 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,018 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,936 That's it?
- 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,147 That's it! The song's over! We can light the tree!
- 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,399 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,734 Oh, finally!
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,362 Go on, Jimmy. There's only five more seconds until Christmas.
- 00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:59,741 [ Electricity crackling ]
- 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,534 [ Pop, glass shatters ]
- 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,661 [ Crowd groans ]
- 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,872 Christmas is ruined again!
- 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:06,831 [ Bells jingling ]
- 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,334 Ho ho ho!
- 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,253 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,715 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,718 Stan! - Kyle!
- 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,720 Mom! Dad! We rode in Santa's sleigh!
- 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:21,804 We brought Christmas to Iraq!
- 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:25,225 Everyone! Everyone, can I please have your attention?
- 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,852 Christmas is a very special time of year,
- 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,480 but this year, it almost didn't happen.
- 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:34,400 There's a man named Jesus who gave his life to save me.
- 00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:38,321 And so I declare that, every year on Christmas Day,
- 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,491 we should remember Jesus for what he did
- 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,159 and thank him for it.
- 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,745 From now on, Christmas will be a day
- 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,374 for remembering a brave man named Jesus.
- 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,125 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,587 Now, if you'll all excuse me, I've got a lot of work to do.
- 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,256 I'll help you, Santa!
- 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,924 Oh, and boys...
- 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,593 you might want to check under the Christmas tree.
- 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:05,682 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- 00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,103 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,525 Wow! Look, you guys! Santa got us all Haibo dolls!
- 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,819 Aw, God damn it!
- 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,071 Cartman, I thought all you wanted was a Haibo doll!
- 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,365 Yeah. But not if you guys have one, too!
- 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,992 Now it's worthless and gay!
- 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,577 God damn it! I'll never try to be nice again!
- 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,455 All in all, I have to say this was a pretty special Christmas.
- 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,749 Rm mrph, mrph rmh rmphm? - Oh, hey, Kenny.
- 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,043 Dude, where have you been? - Rm, mrph rmhmhm rmphm rmh.
- 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,420 Come on! We got to tell you what happened!
- 00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:36,587 I'm sure glad it's over with! - Yeah.
- 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,506 But I feel like things are finally back to normal.
- 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,424 Mrph!
- 00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:42,302 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,762 ♪ Poo-Choo Train's laying down its tracks ♪
- 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:46,306 - ♪ With a... ♪ - Poo-choo!
- 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,016 ♪ All the way and back ♪
- 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,643 ♪ Poo-Poo Train is my favorite thing ♪
- 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:54,272 ♪ Spreading Christmas joy as we ride and sing ♪
- 00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:57,108 [ Music continues ]
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