Возвращение братства кольца в две башни

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О, Великий Волшебник Пендальф.

Какую задачу поставишь ты

перед этими Странником и Паладином?

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Только одна вещь может спасти наше королевство.

Вы должны принести мне кусок орехового пирога

с ирисовым мороженым и волшебные деньги. Бегом!

00:00:45,691 --> 00:00:47,313

Это отстойное задание, Картман!

Придумай чё-нить другое!

00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:52,147

О, мальчики, родители Баттерса хотят

попросить у нас посмотреть кассетку

"Властелин колец". Не могли бы вы отнести её им?

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Ты посылаешь нас на... задание?

Ты просишь нас отнести

видео-кассету в Дом Баттерса?

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Да, по-любому.

00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:00,991

Это будет долгое путешествие

со множеством опасностей в пути.

00:01:01,081 --> 00:01:03,618

Но если кассета должна быть

доставлена в Дом Баттерса,

то кто другой сможет это сделать?

00:01:03,737 --> 00:01:06,963

Очень хорошо, мы отправимся

на это задание немедленно, отец!

Вперед, воины!

00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:07,700

Хо!

00:01:09,929 --> 00:01:11,651

Хмм, это избавит от них.

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Ах ты маленький шалун!

00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:20,419

Ага, ну в общем, "Властелин колец" -

не единственная кассета, которую

я взял на прокат в видеосалоне.

Еще я взял... порнуху.

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Ууу, ты маленький чертёнок.

00:01:23,006 --> 00:01:24,093

Ты... хочешь посмотреть?

00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:28,882

Каким путем мы отправимся к дому Баттерса?

Через шахты Эндора или горы Грога?

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Осторожно!

Приближается великий дракон Перенграф!

00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:35,194

Не волнуйтесь! Я великий волшебник Мотортарт.

Я могу защитить вас от драконова пламени.

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Отличная работа, волшебник.

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Итак, братва продвигается вперед:

великий Волшебник, опытный Странник и

жадный Еврей.

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Я Паладин, Картман!

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Еврей не может быть Паладином.

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Эй, ковбой.

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Ты готова к горячему пореву?

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Ещё как готова!

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Парни в офисе сказали, чтобы я взял

именно эту порнуху. Они сказали,

что "это, без сомнения, самое жесткое

порно из всего, когда-либо сделанного."

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Звучит неплохо.

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Я тащусь от этого белья. Да! Тебе нравится?

00:02:06,763 --> 00:02:07,695

Уууу, да, малыш.

00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,588

Дааааа. Отлично, ты готова?

00:02:10,857 --> 00:02:11,500

Готова!

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О да.

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История берет начало в далёкой древности,

в глубине Средиземья, где Скорн первым

процветал в королевстве Джелджелар.

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О блин, ненавижу, когда

в порнухе пытаются сделать сюжет.

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Семь колец было отдано расе людей.

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Ух ты, уровень качества

этой порнухи просто удивляет.

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Да уж, это выглядит почти как... Властелин ко...

О БОЖЕ МОЙ! Это же "Властелин колец"!

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Но тогда это значит...!

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У мальчиков самое жесткое

порно из когда-либо сделанного!

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О, привет, мальчики.

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Мой отец попросил, чтобы мы принесли

вам эту кассету с "Властелином колец".

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Отлично, спасибо вам

огромнейшее, прирожденные герои.

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Возможно, нам полагается награда.

Золото? Франкенштэйнценты?

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О, но вы же благородные герои!

Мы знаем, что нашей

благодарности будет достаточно.

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Блин, это дерьмо.

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Баттерс, посмотри, что мы тебе

принесли посмотреть: "Властелин Колец".

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Ух ты! Наконец-то я посмотрю его!

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Теперь мы с папой должны идти работать,

чтобы заплатить налоги, так что ты

можешь сам его посмотреть и не пугаться!

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О, я не собираюсь пугаться, мама. Обещаю!

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Вот это наш мужик. Ну, мы пошли.

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О ля ля! Я наконец-то посмотрю "Властелина колец".

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Хлопни по этой жопе.

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Ухты. Круто. Это ж зашибись.

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О боже мой, это будет так неудобно.

"Привет, Крис, привет, Линда.

Будет просто чудесно, если вы

сможете вернуть нам нашу порнушку."

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Спокойно, может, мальчики

ещё не донесли кассету.

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И вот братва возвращается домой

после выполнения своей великой миссии.

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Кассета возвращена, и спокойствие

опять вернулось в Южный Парк.

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Быстро! Чудовище Ривендэйла!

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Приготовиться к битве!

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Мальчики!

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Мальчики! Мальчики! Где кассета?

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Мы отдали её родителям

Баттерса, как ты и приказывал.

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О, я думаю, что мы должны

поговорить с ними прямо сейчас.

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Ладно, погодите минутку, эээ, мальчики,

как вы думаете, вы могли бы для нас

очень быстро вернуть обратно эту кассету?

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Это звучит как очень важное задание.

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Да, так и есть. Это самое важное

из всего, что я когда-либо просил

вас сделать. Вы должны вернуть плёнку.

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Но не смотрите её, эээ... потому что

она наполнена злой силой. Верните плёнку

и принесите её к нам домой. Сделайте

это, и вы будете круто вознаграждены.

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Ух ты.

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Это... так круто.

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Джентльмены, двинули!

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Отлично, проблема решена.

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...О боже мой, я так... ууу, ооо...

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Ну и ну. Эй, что происходит там внизу?

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Мы прибыли, чтобы укротить эту кассету!

00:05:05,565 --> 00:05:07,013

Эй, эй, че вы делаете!?

00:05:07,229 --> 00:05:10,592

Королева и Король Дома Стэна желают,

чтобы "Властелин Колец" вернулся к ним.

00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:16,635

Но.., это же величайший из фильмов, которые

я когда-либо смотрел. Вы, парни, были правы.

"Властелин колец" - это просто зашибись!

Эй, вы должны дать мне его досмотреть.

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Нет, Баттерс! Эта кассета

должна быть возвращена в Дом Стэна!

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ВЭЭЭЭ!

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Баттерс! Мы же сказали, что тебе

нельзя смотреть его! У нас есть задание!

00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,288

Ладно, тогда, можно, я пойду с вами?

00:05:28,559 --> 00:05:32,119

Ну ладно, Баттерс. Но если ты

хочешь зависнуть с нами, ты

должен играть как Властелин Колец.

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Оу, ладушки. Ы, ы, ы, ы, ы, ы, дааа.

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Баттерс, какого хера ты делаешь!?

00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:41,243

Играю во Властелина Колец.

Ы, ууу, ы, о да.

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Отвали на хрен от меня!

Ты уродец, Баттерс!

Тебе нельзя играть с нами!

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Ну отдайте мне кассету!

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Нет, мы должны вернуть её!

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Мое кино! Мое офигительное классное кино.

Моя... прелесть.

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Итак, кассета была снова добыта,

чтобы возвратиться в Дом Стэна.

00:06:00,556 --> 00:06:03,136

Эта кассета "Властелин колец" сделала

юного Баттерса просто ужасным.

00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:05,199

Угу, и мои родители тоже вели себя странно.

00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,694

Возможно, эта кассета содержит

силы, о которых мы не знаем.

00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:14,118

Так так так!

Неужели это Робин Гуд и его Весёлые Мужички!?

00:06:14,145 --> 00:06:15,338

Вот задница, это же шестиклассники!

00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:16,855

Ну и чё мы тут делаем?

00:06:16,971 --> 00:06:18,912

Ничего. Эй, пацан!

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"Властелин Колец"? Ха! Это отстойное кино!

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Сам ты отстойный!

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Какого х...? Зацените это, пацаны!

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Ух ты!

00:06:28,576 --> 00:06:30,715

Отдай! У нас задание - вернуть её моим родителям!

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Ни хрена! Мы оставим её себе и посмотрим сами!

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Вы не можете оставить её себе.

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Ну и что могут сделать с этим трое четвероклашек, а?

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Нас четверо! Душа Кенни всё

ещё заперта в тебе Картмана!

00:06:40,657 --> 00:06:41,310

Да!

00:06:41,321 --> 00:06:43,783

О блин, я не могу дождаться, чтобы посмотреть её!

00:06:43,985 --> 00:06:45,840

Чувак, это видео делает людей странными.

00:06:45,918 --> 00:06:49,009

Эта кассета должна быть возвращена! Бежим!

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Взять их!

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О, привет, Рэнди, Шэрон.

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Эээ, Крис, а мальчики ещё тут?

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Нет, только Баттерс.

Он смотрит "Властелина Колец" внизу.

00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:04,396

Вот блин!

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В чём дело?

00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:12,752

Мы... эээ, это немного смешно, но,

эээ, мы, мы случайно положили порнуху

в коробку из-под "Властелина Колец".

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О, Боже!!

00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:18,098

Баттерс?

00:07:18,107 --> 00:07:21,835

Баттерс? Баттерс?

00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:25,362

Прелесть? Вы принесли обратно мою прелесть?

00:07:25,803 --> 00:07:27,827

Баттерс, где кино, которое ты смотрел?

00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:34,764

Они забрали нашу прелесть, унесли её,

чтобы смотреть без нас. Нам тоже очень

понравилось это кино! Моя... прелесть.

00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:40,001

Наверное, мальчики пришли

и увидели, что это за кино...

и тогда они куда-то унесли его.

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О, нет.

00:07:47,340 --> 00:07:49,744

Мы не можем позволить этим

шестиклассникам получить кассету.

00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:54,424

Я должен сказать, что согласен. Если

этот "Властелин Колец" содержит проклятие,

то он станет опасен в злых руках.

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Я чую четвероклашек!

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Вот задница, блин!

00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:58,050

Прячься!

00:08:08,712 --> 00:08:11,252

Эй. Мне кажется, что я слышал что-то внизу.

00:08:13,766 --> 00:08:14,548

Фух.

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Фух. Эта кассета приобретает нехилую популярность.

00:08:16,491 --> 00:08:18,505

Ага. Баттерс, мои родители, теперь шестиклассники.

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Потопали, парни.

Мы должны представить её

на суд Высшего Эльфа Парагона.

00:08:22,530 --> 00:08:24,434

Ага, высший Эльф.

Он знает, что нужно делать.

00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:31,478

Вот такая складывается ситуация.

Все мальчики где-то там с...

порнографическим фильмом.

00:08:31,697 --> 00:08:33,722

О боже, это... это ужасно!

00:08:34,121 --> 00:08:40,789

На ладно, успокойтесь. Так, давайте

выясним, насколько ужасна эта кассета?

Я имею ввиду, это типа "Бешеные промежности 3"?

00:08:41,226 --> 00:08:43,984

Я б... боюсь... Это "Тайные шлюхи 9".

00:08:44,339 --> 00:08:45,558

"Тайные шлюхи 9"!???

00:08:45,972 --> 00:08:46,889

Это плохо?

00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,352

По сравнению с "Тайными шлюхами 9"

"Бешеные промежности 3" выглядят,

как "Капризные няньки 2"!

00:08:50,612 --> 00:08:55,155

Э, это самое мерзкое, извращенное

порно из всего, когда-либо сделанного.

00:08:55,294 --> 00:08:56,520

И откуда же ты это знаешь!?

00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:59,290

Я, эээ, читал об этом в "Пипл".

00:08:59,437 --> 00:09:01,934

О, это просто отлично! Как вы

могли быть такими беззаботными!?

00:09:02,030 --> 00:09:02,969

Нам очень жаль.

00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:08,434

Так, Шэйла, мы же не можем навсегда

оградить наших детей от этих вещей.

Может быть, нет ничего страшного в том,

что они посмотрят взрослое кино?

00:09:08,546 --> 00:09:12,560

Только под присмотром родителей,

чтобы вложить в это правильный смысл.

А то они не поймут ничего из того,

что увидят!

00:09:12,734 --> 00:09:14,853

Это же не может причинить

им сильный вред, правда?

00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:20,683

Прелессссть.

Дайте мне посмотреть мою прелессссть.

Пожалуйста!

00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:30,213

Откройся, Бэллог.

00:09:32,182 --> 00:09:33,052

Чё вам, пацаны, надо?

00:09:33,152 --> 00:09:34,926

Мы должны говорить с Высшим эльфом Парагона.

00:09:35,668 --> 00:09:43,574

О. Лана, секундочку...

Что тревожит вас?

00:09:44,332 --> 00:09:48,958

Мы обладаем вещью великой силы.

Это... "Властелин колец".

00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:53,632

Ну и? У меня три копии.

И ДВД с 12 часами

дополнительных материалов.

00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:59,684

Да, но это... ух ты, 12 часов?...

Да, но это необычная кассета.

Она делает людей очень странными.

00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:03,936

Мы серьёзно, Высший Эльф.

Что-то очень злое скрывается в этой кассете.

00:10:04,209 --> 00:10:10,342

Очень хорошо, соберу совет. Встретимся

в Лесу Совета за домом Талангара Черного.

И смотрите, чтобы моя мама

вас не увидела, я то мне попадет.

00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,147

Благодарю тебя, Высший Эльф Парагон.

00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:13,745

Фарагон, придурок!

00:10:15,591 --> 00:10:16,372

Клайд - долбоёб!

00:10:18,795 --> 00:10:25,322

Так, внимание! Есть трое маленьких

сопливых четвероклашек, у которых

есть кассета в порнухой "Тайные шлюхи 9".

00:10:25,906 --> 00:10:27,047

Оооооо!

00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:33,286

Я прочитал про нее в инете и узнал,

что "Тайные шлюхи 9" - самое жёсткое

порно из всего, когда-либо сделанного.

00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:34,607

Ааааах!

00:10:34,807 --> 00:10:41,258

Я собрал эту армию шестиклассников, чтобы

получить эту кассету во чтобы то ни стало!

Так что, вперёд, добывать порнуху!

00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:51,777

Вот такая сложилась ситуация. Кассета либо

содержит, либо не содержит в себе злую силу.

Кайл, принеси, пожалуйста, её сюда.

00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:56,455

Аааахх.

00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,130

Может, это видео сделано злой силой Саурона?

00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,196

Оно может содержать какое-то заклятие.

00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,520

Возможно, мы сможет использовать его

для увеличения мощи наших боевых кораблей.

00:11:08,613 --> 00:11:10,126

Кевин, твою ж мать!

00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:16,477

Послушайте, пока мы не оценим мощь этой

кассеты на себе, мы не можем рисковать,

чтобы она попала в чужие руки.

00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,565

Но если мы посмотри её,

то можем тоже попасть под заклятие.

00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:25,273

Это точно. Только Паладин высшего уровня может

посмотреть кассету. Таким образом, я думаю,

что это работа для тебя, Талангар Черный.

00:11:27,203 --> 00:11:36,121

Я не боюсь. Я пойду внутрь и посмотрю

кассету, всего несколько секунд. Если я

не вернусь через 2 минуты, засылайте братву

за мной. Судьба Средиземья в моих руках.

00:11:41,565 --> 00:11:46,794

Четвероклашки! Отдайте нам порнуху!

00:11:49,055 --> 00:11:49,820

Мальчики?

00:11:50,128 --> 00:11:54,084

Мальчики, мы не злимся на вас.

Мы просто хотим поговорить с вами.

00:11:56,728 --> 00:11:58,882

Талангар Черный возвращается с просмотра видео.

00:11:59,096 --> 00:12:02,916

Что ты увидел на кассете, Талангар?

Это работа магии Саурона?

00:12:03,738 --> 00:12:04,772

Я больше не играю.

00:12:06,378 --> 00:12:07,524

Э, ну ладно, так что ты там увидел?

00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:10,674

Я не знаю, я не хочу знать. Я сваливаю.

00:12:17,115 --> 00:12:18,941

Боже мой, это, должно быть,

действительно мощная штука.

00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,903

Эта кассета уродует людей,

несмотря ни на что.

00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:21,629

Что же мы будем с ней делать?

00:12:21,637 --> 00:12:26,594

Одно ясно точно: эта кассета не может быть

доверена никому. Она должна быть возвращена

в видео-салон, где она была взята на прокат.

00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,415

Ну, и откуда же эта кассета?

00:12:28,755 --> 00:12:30,633

Видео-салон "Две Башни". Это в Конифере.

00:12:30,745 --> 00:12:32,597

Конифер?? Путешествие туда займет много часов!

00:12:32,981 --> 00:12:36,264

Другого пути нет. Мы должны вернуть кассету

до того, как она причинит ещё больший ущерб!

00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,126

Я пойду!

00:12:37,242 --> 00:12:41,385

Ха! Мы не можем доверять

кому-либо, кто слабее гнома!

Особенно малолетнему гному.

00:12:41,485 --> 00:12:42,200

Ты слишком молод.

00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:42,792

Тихо!

00:12:42,797 --> 00:12:43,812

Пацаны, это глупо.

00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:44,924

Вы ведете себя как толпа долбоёбов!

00:12:44,927 --> 00:12:48,606

Я возьму её! Я пойду в видео-салон.

00:12:48,944 --> 00:12:54,761

Это слишком далеко и слишком

опасно - идти одному. Возьми с собой

волшебника, гнома, воина, жреца и еврея.

00:12:54,938 --> 00:12:55,815

Паладина!

00:12:56,122 --> 00:13:02,191

Отлично. Вы будете братвой

Властелина колец. Удачи.

А мне нужно идти домой,

пока я не получил люлей.

00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:02,921

И я.

00:13:02,927 --> 00:13:03,845

Да, да, да.

00:13:04,662 --> 00:13:06,056

Нас будет только шестеро?

00:13:06,198 --> 00:13:09,417

Нет нет, нас семеро.

Душа Кенни заперта внутри

тела Картмана, помнишь?

00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:13,152

- Точно, идиот.

- Да, к счастью, тело Картмана

достаточно большое для нас двоих.

- Заткнись, Кенни.

00:13:15,974 --> 00:13:21,282

Итак, наши герои прошли многие мили, чтобы

вернуть "Властелина Колец" в видео-салон.

00:13:22,317 --> 00:13:24,589

Мы достигли Великого Ущелья Горы Уруралак.

00:13:25,444 --> 00:13:26,200

Осторожно!

00:13:27,058 --> 00:13:28,364

Нас чуть не убило.

00:13:28,693 --> 00:13:30,418

Злой колдун должен попытаться остановить нас!

00:13:30,536 --> 00:13:33,691

Точно. Кто-то или что-то не хочет,

чтобы кассета вернулась в видео-салон.

00:13:37,471 --> 00:13:39,079

О! Привет всем.

00:13:39,462 --> 00:13:42,516

Стив, эээ, мы слышали, что

несколько пацанов были здесь недавно.

00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:46,026

Ну да, мне кажется, что были,

но уже ушли. А что случилось?

00:13:46,222 --> 00:13:51,580

Мы думаем, что наши мальчики могут

показывать другим детям, эээ, порно-фильм.

00:13:51,811 --> 00:13:56,601

Ёлки! Но Токен никогда раньше не видел порнухи.

Он ничего об этом не зна... О боже!

00:13:56,722 --> 00:13:57,450

Токен!

00:14:02,513 --> 00:14:07,210

Токен? Те мальчики, что приходили

к тебе, показывали тебе кино?

00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:15,528

Токен? Ладно, Токен. Мы знаем,

что ты шокирован тем, что ты увидел.

00:14:18,287 --> 00:14:30,350

Да, эээ... понимаешь, Токен... это называется

порнографическим фильмом, эээ, в нём показываются

половые отношения взрослого мужчины и взрослой женщины.

00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:39,226

Эээ, понимаешь, когда эээ, когда мужчина и женщина

влюбляются, мужчина вставляет свой пенис женщине

в вагину. Это называется заниматься любовью, и это

является неотъемлемой частью состояния влюбленности.

00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:49,800

А когда в женщину вставляют 4 пениса

одновременно, а потом она становится

над мужчиной и писает на него, это

тоже является частью влюбленности?

00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:54,743

Пять энергичных мужиков,

одетых в чём мать родила.

Это тоже называется любовью?

00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:57,288

Господи, что это за порнуха такая??

00:14:57,526 --> 00:14:58,953

Это "Тайные шлюхи 9".

00:14:59,283 --> 00:15:00,890

О господи, только не это!

00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,436

О, Джеральд, бедный Кайл, наверное, очень

шокирован и напуган, как этот бедный ребенок.

00:15:05,561 --> 00:15:10,431

Эээ, Токен, это очень важно: ты знаешь, куда

пошли мальчики с этой безнравственной кассетой?

00:15:13,403 --> 00:15:15,783

Мы вторглись в во владения Бэйли.

Всем держаться рядом.

00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,567

Возможно, Великий Стригущий Лишай Бэйли где-то рядом.

00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,789

Стригущий Лишай не подходит гномам.

00:15:19,957 --> 00:15:24,043

Парни, мы уничтожим Лишай и захватим

его сокровища! Нам нужно идти ту...

00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:25,326

Я наложил на тебя заклятие!

00:15:25,584 --> 00:15:26,935

А я блокировал твоё заклятие, колдун!

00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,404

Эй, чё вы делаете, чуваки?

00:15:28,824 --> 00:15:30,087

Мы играем в Гарри Поттера.

00:15:31,489 --> 00:15:33,396

Ха!! Педики!!

00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,290

Эй, пацаны. Кто-то идёт за нами.

00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:40,205

Это Баттерс.

00:15:40,245 --> 00:15:40,750

Баттерс?

00:15:40,794 --> 00:15:42,708

Да. Он идёт за нами уже около двух часов.

00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:48,706

Прелестная видеокассета.

Д-дайте Баттерсу увидеть её.

00:15:49,107 --> 00:15:50,386

Просто не обращайте на него

внимание - может он отвалит.

00:15:51,108 --> 00:15:53,321

Это братаны, может, мы чуток передохнем?

00:15:53,463 --> 00:15:55,024

Нет времени на отдых, чародей! Двигаем!

00:16:01,399 --> 00:16:05,534

Они приближаются. Парни, идите вперёд.

00:16:05,536 --> 00:16:06,597

Джимми, ты уверен?

00:16:06,923 --> 00:16:36,130

Идите! Вы не пррр..? Вы не пырр..!

Вы не пппп. Вы не пройд...! Вы не пррр!

Вы не пыр-пыр-пыр! Вы не пппройдёте!

00:16:37,169 --> 00:16:38,140

Джимми не остановил их!

00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:39,780

Они отберут у нас "Властелина Колец".

00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,557

Быстро! Переходим реку!

Шестиклассники не полезут в воду!

00:16:42,656 --> 00:16:43,801

Что? Это глупо.

00:16:43,965 --> 00:16:47,016

Я белый волшебник высшего уровня, Крэг,

и я говорю, что шестиклассники боятся воды!

00:16:47,022 --> 00:16:49,620

Да пофигу. Я иду обратно играть

в Гарри Поттера с теми пацанами.

00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:50,447

И я.

00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,943

Ну и валите и играйте

в Гарри Сраного Ебучего Поттера!

00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,686

Просто переходим реку! Они приближаются!

00:17:03,218 --> 00:17:05,304

Так чего встали, пацаны!? Отбирайте кассету!

00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:06,843

Чувак, я не хочу намокнуть.

00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:08,570

Ага, я сильно не люблю воду.

00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:10,799

Кроме того, если наши велики

намокнут, то их цепи заржавеют.

00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,399

Вот чёрт. Ладно, поехали. Мы найдем мост.

00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:20,556

Миссия по возвращению "Властелина

Колец" в видео-салон продолжается.

00:17:21,048 --> 00:17:22,783

Чувак, нам не надо было

переходить эту идиотскую речку.

00:17:23,164 --> 00:17:25,603

Да, отличная работа, Волшебник Жиробас.

Теперь мы совсем заблудились.

00:17:25,679 --> 00:17:31,924

- Мы не заблудились, Жидгард Жидлинградский,

просто мы не знаем, где мы находимся!

- Это как раз и означает, что мы заблудились, идиот!

- Кенни, бляха-муха, закрой пасть!

00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:34,864

Вот зашибись! Мы в самом центре

неизвестности, и никто не знает,

в каком направлении идти к видео-салону!

00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,021

Баттерс знает.

00:17:37,296 --> 00:17:38,005

О братан!

00:17:38,456 --> 00:17:42,492

Видео-салон. Даааа.

Не очень далеко отсюда.

Мы можем показать, где это.

00:17:42,703 --> 00:17:43,200

Где!?

00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:46,334

Сначала всего лишь дайте

Баттерсу увидеть свою прелессссть.

00:17:46,488 --> 00:17:49,948

Нет, Баттерс. Посмотри, что она

с тобой сделала. Она сделал тебя ещё

большим придурком, чем ты был раньше.

00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:51,143

Если такое вообще возможно.

00:17:51,847 --> 00:17:54,106

Скажи нам, как добраться

до видео-салона, Баттерс,

или мы надаём тебе люлей!

00:17:54,112 --> 00:17:59,483

Аааа. Никто не будет бить Баттерса.

Мы покажем вам дорогу. Даааа. Сюда.

00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:05,987

Это ужасно! Я представляю, как с каждой

проходящей минутой маленький Кайл смотрит

на всё новые и новые развратные половые акты!

00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:09,318

Мы найдем их. И тогда мы сможем

представить всё в правильном свете.

00:18:09,651 --> 00:18:12,937

Смотрите! Это один из мальчиков! Джимми!

00:18:13,174 --> 00:18:16,368

Джимми! Джимми! Куда пошли

мальчики с порно-кассетой??

00:18:16,636 --> 00:18:21,309

Они понесли её в ви... ви... ви...

00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,208

Ну давай, Джимми, у нас мало времени.

00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:26,437

Они понесли её обратно

в видео-с... в видео-с...

00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,345

Видео-сэндвич?

00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:29,954

Видео-скотобаза.

00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,601

Что такое видео-скотобаза, Джимми?

00:18:31,607 --> 00:18:35,082

Нет, видео-сс... видео-сс... ых.

00:18:35,087 --> 00:18:35,500

Сало?

00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,367

Сауна. Они пошли в видео-сауну. Где это , Джимми?

00:18:38,372 --> 00:18:41,678

Н-н-нет, вы придурки! Видео-сс...салон!

00:18:41,973 --> 00:18:43,070

Видео-салон!

00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:44,582

Быстро! Быстро!

00:18:44,587 --> 00:18:45,575

Я знаю, где это!

00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,556

О нет! Закрыто!

00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,458

Закрыто!?

00:18:57,487 --> 00:18:58,200

Вот где они!

00:18:59,589 --> 00:19:01,727

Не дайте им вернуть её в видео-салон!

00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:02,960

Нам пиздец.

00:19:03,015 --> 00:19:07,005

Погодите. Ящик возврата.

Быстро, Кайл, бросай кассету внутрь!

00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:09,445

Наконец-то. Всё кончилось.

00:19:09,771 --> 00:19:12,838

Прелесть. Должен получить

мою прелесть. Вааа!

00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:13,707

Баттерс! Нет!

00:19:14,064 --> 00:19:15,408

Наконец-то она у нас!

00:19:17,165 --> 00:19:17,976

Они приближаются!

00:19:19,777 --> 00:19:20,500

Её нужно вернуть!

00:19:20,572 --> 00:19:22,400

Она хочет остаться с мальчиком Баттерсом.

00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:23,971

Вот она! Отдайте мне кассету!

00:19:26,483 --> 00:19:27,408

Отпусти кассету, Баттерс!

00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:28,744

Никогда не отпущу!

00:19:28,757 --> 00:19:29,450

Отлично!

00:19:29,925 --> 00:19:31,114

Прелесть!

00:19:31,684 --> 00:19:36,789

Нееет! Нееет! Черт!

00:19:36,994 --> 00:19:39,272

Вот блин, теперь мы никогда не увидим порева.

00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:41,567

Вы тупые маленькие четвероклашки!

00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:45,177

Кассета возвращена туда, откуда пришла.

Теперь она потеряла свою силу.

00:19:45,299 --> 00:19:46,519

В Средиземье опять наступил мир.

00:19:46,662 --> 00:19:49,557

Да? И что же остановит нас, когда

мы начнём выдавать вам пиздюлей!?

00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:50,900

О нет.

00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:57,561

Мальчики! Мальчики!

00:19:57,802 --> 00:20:03,369

Дерьмо! Родители! Валим отсюда, пацаны.

Увидимся в другой раз, малолетки!

00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:08,241

Да, это вполне возможно. Но пока

армия шестиклашек потерпела поражение.

00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:09,300

Вот вы где!

00:20:09,553 --> 00:20:10,981

О, Кайл! С тобой все в порядке!

00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:14,120

Эээ, привет, чуваки.

А мы как раз собирались домой.

Нам тока надо было вернуть кассету.

00:20:14,289 --> 00:20:23,450

Эээ, ну, теперь послушайте, дети. Есть кое-что,

что вам нужно знать, чтобы всё понять правильно.

Понимаете, мужчина сует пенис женщине в вагину

не только для любви, но и для наслаждения.

00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:31,780

Но иногда женщина ложится на мужчину сверху так,

чтобы, чтобы гениталии друг друга оказались напротив

их ртов. Это называется поза 69, и это нормально.

00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:37,165

Понимаете, мальчики, у женщины очень

чувствительная вагина и ей очень приятно,

когда пенис находится у неё внутри.

00:20:37,265 --> 00:20:47,755

Правильно, но иногда женщина использует для наслаждения

всякие другие вещи. Телефоны, стэплеры, журналы.

Это все потому, что нервные окончания в вагине очень

чувствительны, это как щекотка.

00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:54,899

Теперь о двойном проникновении, мальчики. Понимаете,

иногда женщина занимается сексом с несколькими мужчинами,

и каждый мужчина занимается любовью с разными отверстиями.

00:20:55,107 --> 00:20:59,234

Правильно. Взрослые иногда занимаются этим

с очень хорошими друзьями в удобном помещении.

00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:04,080

И это очень важно, чтобы вы поняли, почему

некоторые люди решают помочиться друг на друга.

00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:12,180

Пописать или покакать на своего любовника - это то, что

некоторые люди могут делать, но вы должны быть уверены,

что ваш партнёр не возражает против этого.

00:21:12,392 --> 00:21:14,470

Ну ладно, мальчики. У вас есть вопросы?

00:21:18,782 --> 00:21:19,620

... Хуясе!

00:21:23,952 --> 00:21:24,944

Ну, теперь пора ехать.

00:21:25,192 --> 00:21:26,799

Да, поехали, мальчики. Пора домой.

00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,706

Погодите-ка. В где Баттерс?

00:21:33,048 --> 00:21:36,853

Наша прелесть у нас!

Прелессссть! Прелесссть!

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,889

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,683

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,688

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,106

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,194

♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪

00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,612

♪ Timmy, Timmy,

liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪

00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:32,533

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,121

Oh, great Wizard of Gregendath,

00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,331

what quest do you ask

of this ranger and paladin?

00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:41,167

Only one thing can save

our kingdom.

00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,835

You must bring me

a piece of pecan pie

00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,462

with toffee ice cream

and Magic Shell.

00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:45,296

Hurry, now!

00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:47,089

That quest sucks, Cartman.

Think of another one.

00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,008

Uh, boys, Butters' parents

want to borrow

00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,676

the "Lord of the Rings" video

we rented.

00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,887

Could you take it over to them?

00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,722

You're sending us on...a quest?

00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,308

You ask of us to take the one

video to the house of Butters?

00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,392

Yeah. Whatever.

00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,478

It shall be a long journey

with many dangers on the way.

00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,688

But if the tape must be brought

to the house of Butters,

00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,898

who else can do it?

- Very well.

00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,816

We shall embark on this quest

immediately, Father.

00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,943

Come, warriors!

- Ho!

00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,280

Hm.

That gets rid of them.

00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,115

Ooh, you're a little frisky,

aren't you?

00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,867

Well, uh,

"The Lord of the Rings"

00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,369

wasn't the only thing I rented

from the video store.

00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:20,372

I also rented...a porno.

00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,458

Oh, you little devil!

00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,251

You want to go watch?

00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,545

How shall we journey

to the house of Butters --

00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,964

through the mines of Vandor

or over the mountains of Grach?

00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,133

Look out! Here comes

the great dragon of Peringraf!

00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,010

Don't worry.

I am the great wizard Molortork.

00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,678

I can shield us

from the dragon's fire.

00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,430

A-beh-beh-beh-beh-beh-beh-beh!

00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,890

Good job, wizard.

00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,475

And so the party

journeyed onward --

00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,143

the great wizard,

the skillful ranger,

00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,311

and the covetous Jew.

00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,063

I'm a paladin, Cartman!

00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,648

Jews can't be paladins.

00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,110

Hey, there, cowboy.

00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:51,445

You ready for some hot,

steamy fun?

00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,613

You bet I am.

00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,449

The guys at the office told me

I had to rent this porno.

00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,576

They said this is

without a doubt

00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,703

the hottest porno ever made.

00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,288

Mm.

Sounds good.

00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,916

I love that lingerie.

00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,377

Yeah.

You like that?

00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:07,628

Mm.

Yeah, baby.

00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,088

Yeah.

00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,173

- All right. You ready?

- Ready.

00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,216

Oh, yeah.

00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,303

The story begins in ages past,

00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,430

in the deep regions

of Middle-earth,

00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:21,475

where Skorn first thrived

in the kingdom of Gelgala.

00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,061

Oh, man, I hate when pornos

try to have a story.

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,022

Seven rings were cast

and given to the races of men.

00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,399

Mm, yeah.

00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,401

Seven to the races of elves,

00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:33,320

five to the Glundock Viladers

of Gelgendol.

00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,240

Wow. The production values

are really good in this porno.

00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,242

Yeah.

It almost looks like...

00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,952

"The Lord of the --"

00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,579

Oh, my God!

00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,916

This is "Lord of the Rings"!

00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,168

But then, does that mean...

00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:51,088

That the boys have

the hottest porno ever made.

00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:54,800

Oh, hello, boys.

00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,635

My father has asked

that we bring you this copy

00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,678

of "Lord of the Rings".

00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,055

Well, thank you very much,

kind heroes.

00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,975

Perhaps a reward is in order?

Gold? Frankensteincense?

00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,770

Oh, but you are noble heroes.

We know our thanks is enough.

00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,106

Man, that's crap.

00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,443

Butters, look what we have

for you to watch.

00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,111

"The Lord of the Rings."

00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,280

Oh, boy!

Finally I get to see it!

00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,948

Now, Daddy and I

have to do our taxes.

00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,409

So you can watch this

by yourself and not get scared?

00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,494

I won't get scared, Mom.

Promise.

00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,289

That's our man.

Here you go.

00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,043

Ooh-da-lolly!

00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,295

I finally get to see

"Lord of the Rings"!

00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,258

Spank that ass.

00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,260

Oh.

00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,139

Neato.

00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,351

Oh, yeah.

- This is good!

00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:48,062

Oh, my God. This is gonna be

so embarrassing.

00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,313

"Hi, Chris.

Hi, Linda.

00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,482

We were just wondering if we

could get our porno back."

00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,943

Calm down. Maybe the boys

haven't gotten there yet.

00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,986

And so the party returned home

00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,571

after completing

their great quest.

00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:58,739

The one tape was returned,

00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,824

and South Park was again

at peace.

00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:03,744

Quick!

A monster of Rivendell!

00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:04,870

Prepare for battle!

00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,163

The boys!

00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,875

Boys! Boys!

Where's the videotape?

00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,544

We gave it to the parents

of Butters, as commanded by you.

00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,964

Oh. I guess we have to

go talk to them now.

00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,298

Well, wait a minute.

00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,967

Boys, do you think you can go

00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,261

get that tape back

for us really fast?

00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,390

This sounds like

a really important quest.

00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:25,307

Yes, it is.

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,767

This is more important

than anything

00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,185

I have ever asked you to do.

00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,853

You must retrieve the tape.

00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:32,898

But do not look at it,

uh, for it holds an evil power.

00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,901

Retrieve the tape

and return it to us at home.

00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,654

Do this, and you will be

greatly rewarded.

00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,655

Wow.

00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,490

This is so cool.

00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,617

Gentlemen, we are off!

00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,620

Okay.

Problem solved.

00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,378

Like that. Just like that.

00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,546

Mm!

00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,880

Oh, golly.

00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,426

Hey, what's happenin'

down there?

00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,886

We have come to reclaim

the one tape.

00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,849

Whoa! Whoa!

What are you doing?!

00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,392

The queen and king

of Stansizhouse

00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,311

wish "The Lord of the Rings"

returned to them.

00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:12,187

But it's the greatest movie

I've ever seen.

00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,523

You guys were right.

"Lord of the Rings" is awesome.

00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,358

Y-You're gonna have to let me

finish watching it.

00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,234

Nay, Butters!

00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:20,821

The one tape must be brought

back to Stansizhouse.

00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,115

Aagh!

00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,950

Butters!

We said you can't watch it.

00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:25,951

We have a quest.

00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,120

Then...Then let me go with you.

00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,121

Okay.

Fine, Butters.

00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,372

But if you're gonna hang out

with us,

00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,041

you have to play

like "Lord of the Rings."

00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,459

Oh, okay!

00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:36,420

Yeah.

00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,005

Butters!

What the hell are you doing?!

00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,173

Playing "Lord of the Rings."

00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:42,259

Yeah.

- Get the hell off me!

00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,428

You're a freak, Butters!

You can't play with us!

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,222

Let me have the tape!

- No. We have to return it.

00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,308

My movie.

00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,810

My awesome, cool movie.

00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,189

My...precious.

00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,359

And so the tape

was again retrieved

00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:00,069

to be brought back

to Stansizhouse.

00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,236

This copy of "Lord of the Rings"

00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,821

made the young Butters behave

quite oddly.

00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,782

And mine parents were acting

strange about it, too.

00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,618

Perhaps the one videotape has

some power we have not foreseen.

00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,497

Well, well, well.

00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,749

If it isn't Robin Hood

and his merry men.

00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,334

Oh, crap.

The sixth graders.

00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,378

What you got there?

- Nothing.

00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,004

Hey, kid.

00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,590

"Lord of the Rings." Ha!

That movie's gay.

00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,717

You're gay.

- What the...

00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,052

Whoa!

00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,678

Check it out, you guys!

00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,222

Whoa.

- Whoa.

00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,474

Give it back. We're on a quest

to return it to my parents.

00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,435

No way. We're keeping this

and watching it ourselves.

00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,311

You can't keep it.

00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,189

What are three little fourth

graders gonna do about it, huh?

00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,315

There's four of us.

00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,109

Kenny's soul is still trapped

in Cartman's body.

00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:40,943

Yeah!

00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,529

Oh, man.

I can't wait to see this.

00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,280

Dude, that video is making

people act strange.

00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,741

The one tape must be returned!

00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:48,742

Run!

00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:49,993

Get 'em!

00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,459

Oh, hello, Randy, Sharon.

00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,878

Uh, Chris,

are the boys over here?

00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,004

No, just Butters.

00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,382

He's been watching "The Lord

of the Rings" downstairs.

00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:04,383

Oh, dear.

00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,467

What's the matter?

00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,387

We -- Well, this is really

sort of funny,

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,265

but, uh, we --

we accidentally put a porno

00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,225

in the "Lord of the Rings"

box.

00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,186

Oh, God!

00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,813

Butters?

00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,356

Butters?

00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:21,400

Butters!

00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,235

The precious.

00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,487

Did you bring back my precious?

00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,531

Butters, where is the movie

you were watching?

00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,032

They took his precious.

00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,951

Took it away to watch

without him.

00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,078

He was really enjoying

that movie, too.

00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,122

My p-precious.

00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:37,791

The boys must have come

and saw what it was

00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,668

and then taken it away

somewhere.

00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,044

Oh, no.

00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,427

We can't let those sixth graders

00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,803

get their hands

on this videotape.

00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:50,804

I must say I agree.

00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,723

If this copy of "The Lord

of the Rings" is hainted,

00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,391

it would not be safe

in the wrong hands.

00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,268

I smell fourth graders!

00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,479

Oh, crap, dude!

- Hide!

00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,326

Hey! I think I see something

down the hill.

00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,330

The one videotape

is sought after indeed.

00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:18,499

Yeah. Butters, my parents,

now the sixth graders.

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:19,500

Come, guys.

00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:20,709

We must bring this

to the attention

00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,252

of the high elf of Farragon.

00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,380

Yeah! The high elf.

He'll know what to do.

00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,008

And so that's the situation.

00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,177

All the boys are out there

somewhere with a...

00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:31,678

pornographic videotape.

00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,722

Oh, God!

This -- This is horrible!

00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,057

All right.

Calm down.

00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,893

Now, just how bad of a porno

tape are we talking here?

00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,896

I mean, was it like

"Crotch Capers 3"?

00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,024

I'm afraid it was...

"Back Door Sluts 9".

00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,609

"Back Door Sluts 9"?!

- "Back Door Sluts 9"?!

00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,735

Is that bad?

00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,737

"Back Door Sluts 9"

makes "Crotch Capers 3"

00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,322

look like "Naughty Nurses 2"!

00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,116

I-It is the single most vile,

twisted,

00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,118

dark piece of porn ever made.

00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,370

How the hell do you know?

00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:59,081

I, uh...

I-I read about it in People.

00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,374

Oh, this is just great!

00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:01,917

How could you two be

so careless?

00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:02,918

We're sorry.

00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,212

Well, Sheila, we can't shelter

our boys forever

00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,213

from these things.

00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,382

Maybe it's okay for them to see

an adult film.

00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,884

Not without their parents

to put it in a proper context.

00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,553

They won't understand

what they're seeing!

00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,930

It -- It can't hurt them

that much, can it?

00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,725

Precious.

Let me see my p-precious.

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,602

Please!

00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,819

Open!

00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,238

Bell-lock.

00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,156

What do you guys want?

00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,992

We must speak

with the high elf of Farragon.

00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,327

Oh. Okay.

Hang on a second.

00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,959

What troubles you?

00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,795

We have in our possession

something of great power.

00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,339

It is "The Lord of the Rings."

00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,340

So?

00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,677

I have three copies and the DVD

with 12 hours of extra footage.

00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,138

Yes, but this is not --

Wow. Twelve hours?

00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,806

Yes, but this is not

a normal copy.

00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,725

It's making people act

really strange.

00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,935

We're seriously, high elf.

00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,021

Something very evil lurks

in this tape.

00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,856

Very well. I shall call

the council together.

00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,190

Meet me

in the Woods of Gathering

00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:08,734

behind Talangar the Black's

house.

00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,611

Don't let my mom see you,

'cause I'll get in trouble.

00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,279

Thank you,

high elf of Parragon.

00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,072

Farragon!

Asshole.

00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,533

Clyde's a dick.

00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,329

All right.

Everybody listen up.

00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,831

There's three snot-nosed

little fourth graders out there

00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,334

who have a porno

called "Back Door Sluts 9."

00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,710

Ooh!

00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,337

I checked it out

on the Internet,

00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,297

and it said

that "Back Door Sluts 9"

00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,508

is the most hard-core porno

ever made.

00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:34,551

Ah!

00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,678

I have amassed this army

of sixth graders

00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,847

to get the tape

by any means necessary.

00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,224

Now, let's go get that porno!

00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,814

And so that is the situation.

00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,025

The videotape may

or may not have evil powers.

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,027

Kyle, would you bring it

up here, please?

00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,782

Ah!

- Ooh!

00:10:56,907 --> 00:11:00,202

That video could have been made

by Sauron's evil f-f-forces.

00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,120

It could hold a mental spell

of some kind.

00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,165

Perhaps we could use it

to strengthen our star cruisers.

00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,462

Kevin, God damn it.

00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,883

Look, until we see

this tape's power for ourselves,

00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,468

we cannot risk

giving it to anybody.

00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,428

But if we watch it, we could

fall under its spell, too.

00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:19,471

That is true.

00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,181

Only a paladin

with a high constitution

00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,265

should watch the tape.

00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:25,936

Therefore, I think it is a job

for you, Talangar the Black.

00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,105

I'm not scared.

00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:29,606

I'll go inside

and watch the tape --

00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,024

just for a few seconds.

00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,943

If I do not return

in two minutes,

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,277

send a party in after me.

00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,697

The fate of Middle-earth

is in my hands.

00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,912

Fourth graders!

00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,165

Give us that porno!

00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,751

Boys?

00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,920

Boys, we're not mad at you!

00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,464

We just want to talk to you!

00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,677

Talangar the Black returns

from watching the video.

00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,138

What sights did you see

on the videotape, Talangar?

00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,473

Is it the work

of Sauron's magic?

00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,350

I'm not playing anymore.

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,561

Whoa. Wait.

What'd you see?

00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,896

I don't know.

I don't want to know.

00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,857

I'm out.

00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,655

My God. This thing

must really be powerful.

00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,615

This tape makes people freak out

wherever it goes.

00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,200

What do we do with it?

- One thing's for sure.

00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,910

This tape cannot be trusted

with anybody.

00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,371

It must be returned to the

video store from whence it came.

00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,331

Where is the videotape

rented from?

00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,584

Two Towers Video Store

i-in Conifer.

00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,586

Conifer?!

Walking there would take hours!

00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:33,879

There's no alternative.

00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,214

We have to return the tape

before it causes more damage.

00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,466

- I'll go.

- Ha!

00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,926

We cannot trust something

of that much power to a dwarf!

00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,428

Especially

a kindergartner dwarf.

00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:44,765

Stop acting like

a bunch of assholes.

00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,975

I will take it.

00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,769

I will walk to the video store.

00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,854

It is too far and too dangerous

to go alone.

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,315

Take with you the wizard,

the dwarf, the warrior,

00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,816

the cleric, and the Jew.

00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,651

Paladin!

- Very well.

00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,112

You shall be the fellowship

of "The Lord of the Rings."

00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,489

Good luck.

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,199

I have to go home now

before I get in trouble.

00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,367

Me too!

- Uh-huh.

00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,702

Only the six of us

are to go?

00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,037

No, no.

There's seven of us.

00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,080

Kenny's soul is still trapped

in Cartman's body, remember?

00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,123

Yeah, stupid.

00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,125

Yeah, luckily Cartman's

big enough for the both of us.

00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,627

Shut up, Kenny!

00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,215

And so it was that

the heroes traveled many miles

00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,718

to return "The Lord of

the Rings" to the video store.

00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,846

We have reached

the great pass of Mount Uruloch.

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,598

Look out!

00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,058

We were almost killed!

00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,310

A dark wizard must be

trying to stop us!

00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,646

Someone or something doesn't

want this video returned

00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,272

to the video store.

00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,944

Oh.

Hello, everybody.

00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,695

Steve, we heard

that a bunch of the kids

00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,239

were over here

a little while ago.

00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:44,449

Well, yes, I believe they were,

but they've gone.

00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,700

What's the matter?

00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:49,913

We think our boys might be

showing other children a, uh...

00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,456

pornographic tape.

00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,290

What?

00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,417

But Token's never seen

a porno before.

00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,169

He wouldn't know what to --

Oh, God!

00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,254

Token!

00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,802

Token?

00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:07,597

Did the boys come over and...

show you a movie?

00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,642

Token?

00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:12,769

All right, Token.

00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,856

We know you must be very

confused about what you saw.

00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:18,942

Yes.

00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:22,612

You see, Token, that was called

a pornographic film.

00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,031

It shows adult men

and adult women

00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,367

having sexual intercourse.

00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,081

Well, y-you see, when a -- when

a man and a woman fall in love,

00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,251

the -- the man puts his penis

in the woman's vagina.

00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,588

It's called lovemaking,

and it's part of being in love.

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,009

And when the woman has four

penises in her at the same time,

00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,802

then stands over the men

and pees on them,

00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,721

is that part of being in love,

too?

00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,766

Five midgets spanking a man

00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,476

covered with

Thousand Island dressing --

00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,103

Is that making love?

00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,022

Jesus.

What kind of porno was that?

00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,815

It was "Back Door Sluts 9".

00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,568

Oh, Jesus!

Not that one!

00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,737

Oh, Gerald, poor Kyle

must be just as confused

00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,196

and scared as this poor kid.

00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,407

Token, this is very important.

00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,493

Do you know where the boys went

with the naughty tape?

00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,497

We're entering

the limits of Bailey.

00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:15,665

Everyone stay close.

00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,417

Perhaps the great ringworm

of Bailey is about.

00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,711

Ringworms are no match

for a dwarf.

00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,464

Yes, we shall slay the ringworm

and take its bounty of treasure.

00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,757

For that is the way of the --

00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,091

I shall put a magic spell

on you!

00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,010

I have blocked your spell,

wizard!

00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,470

Hey, what are you guys doing?

00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,805

We're playing Harry Potter.

00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,265

Ha!

00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,725

Fags!

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,022

You guys,

somebody's following us.

00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,523

It's Butters.

- Butters?

00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,609

Yes. He's been following us

for like two hours.

00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,113

The precious videotape.

00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,615

L-Let the Butters see it.

00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,784

Just ignore him.

Maybe he'll go away.

00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,036

Hey, fellas,

mind if we take a little r-rest?

00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,121

There is no time for rest,

sorcerer. Keep up.

00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,545

They are coming.

00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,298

You guys go on ahead.

00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,801

- Jimmy, are you sure?

- Go!

00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,138

You shall not p-pa...

00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:16,017

You shall not pa...pa...

00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,604

You shall not pa...

00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,735

You shall not p--

00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,070

you shall not p-pa--

00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,489

p-p-p...pa...

00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,491

You shall -- p...

00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,371

You shall not p-pass.

00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,664

Jimmy didn't stop them!

00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,499

They're going to take

"The Lord of the Rings" from us!

00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,667

Quick!

Cross the river!

00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,335

Sixth graders can't stand water.

00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,545

What?

That's stupid.

00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,046

I am a high-ranking

white wizard, Craig,

00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,840

and I say sixth graders

are opposed to water!

00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,259

Whatever. I'm going back to play

with the Harry Potter kids.

00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,844

Me too.

00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,848

Go ahead and play

Harry butt-hole pussy Potter!

00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,183

Just get across the river!

They're coming!

00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,856

Whoa!

- Whoa!

00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,191

What the hell is wrong

with you guys?! Get the tape!

00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,693

Dude, I don't want to get wet.

00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,319

Yeah.

I don't really like the water.

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,739

Besides, if our bikes get wet,

the chains will rust.

00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,491

Oh, God damn it. All right.

Come on. We'll find a bridge.

00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,329

The quest continued to return

00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,790

"The Lord of the Rings"

to the video store.

00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,876

Man, we should have never

crossed that stupid river.

00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,587

Yeah. Good job, wizard fat-ass.

Now we're totally lost.

00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,130

We're not lost,

Jewgar of Jewlingrad.

00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,423

We just don't know where we are.

00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,841

That's what lost means, stupid.

00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,885

Kenny, shut your Goddamn mouth!

- This is great.

00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,011

We're in the middle of nowhere

00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,430

and nobody knows what direction

the video store is in.

00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,265

The Butters knowses.

00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,517

Oh, brother.

- The video store. Yes.

00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,353

Not far from here.

W-We can show you wheres it is.

00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,188

Where?

00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:46,441

First just let Butters s-see

the precious.

00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,401

No, Butters.

Look what it's done to you.

00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,153

It's made you even lamer

than before.

00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,279

If that was possible.

00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,031

Tell us how to get

to the video store, Butters,

00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,365

or else we're gonna kick

your ass!

00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,118

No hurtses the Butters.

We will show you the way.

00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,121

Yes.

This way it is.

00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:01,539

This is awful!

00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,124

I just know

with every passing minute,

00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,877

little Kyle is seeing more

and more depraved sex acts!

00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,961

We'll find them.

00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,297

And then we'll try to put

what they saw into context.

00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,799

Look!

There's one of the boys now.

00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,135

Jimmy!

- Jimmy! Jimmy!

00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,346

Where did the boys go

with the porno tape?

00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,348

They were taking it to the v...

00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:21,226

the v...the v...

00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,228

Come on, Jimmy.

We don't have a lot of time.

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,938

They took it back

to the video s...

00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,731

the video s...

00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,650

The video sandwich?

00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,026

The video stockyard?

00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,569

What's a video stockyard, Jimmy?

00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,571

No. The video st...

00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:34,739

The video st...

00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:35,990

Stinger?

- Staples!

00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,326

They went to the video staples.

Where's that, Jimmy?

00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,953

N-No, you retards!

00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,996

The video s-store.

00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,289

The video store!

00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,582

Hurry! Hurry!

00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,084

I know where it is.

00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,178

Oh, no! They're closed!

- Closed?!

00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,305

There they are!

00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,766

Don't let 'em turn it back in

to the video store!

00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,934

We're screwed.

00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,352

Wait!

A drop box!

00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,147

Quick, Kyle!

Drop the movie in!

00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,440

Finally, it's over.

00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,110

Precious.

Must have our precious.

00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,903

Aah!

- Butters! No!

00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,530

Nows wes hasses it.

00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,032

They're coming!

00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:20,618

It has to go back!

00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,287

It wantses to stay

with the Butterses.

00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,164

There it is.

Give me that tape.

00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,793

Let go of the tape, Butters!

- I'm never letting go!

00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,878

Fine!

00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,546

Precious!

00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,339

No!

00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,883

No! No!

00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:36,968

Damn it!

00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,470

Aw, man, now we'll never see

the hot action.

00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,723

You stupid little

fourth graders!

00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,308

The tape is returned

to which it came.

00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,226

Its power over you

shall fade as well.

00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,603

Middle-earth is again safe.

00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,731

Yeah? Well, that's not gonna

stop us from kicking your asses.

00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,357

Uh-oh.

00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,655

Boys! Boys!

00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,115

Crap!

Parents.

00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,617

Come on, guys.

00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,411

We'll see you next time,

fourthies.

00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,122

And perhaps they would.

00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,416

But for now, the sixth-grader

army was defeated.

00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,459

There you are.

00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,127

Oh, Kyle!

You're safe!

00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,004

Oh, hey, guys.

We were just about to come home.

00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,297

We had to return the video.

00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,798

All right.

Now -- Now, listen, kids.

00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,301

There are some things we need

to put into context for you.

00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,304

You see, a man puts his penis

into a woman's vagina

00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,181

for both love and pleasure.

00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,433

But sometimes the woman lays

on top of the man,

00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,268

facing the other way

so that they can put

00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,229

each other's genitals

in their mouths.

00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,940

This is called sixty-nining,

and it's normal.

00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,359

See, boys, a woman is sensitive

in her vagina,

00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,111

and it feels good to have

a man's penis inside of it.

00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,112

That's right.

00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,865

But sometimes a woman chooses

to use other things --

00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,825

telephones, staplers, magazines.

00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:46,204

It's because the nerve endings

in the vagina are so sensitive.

00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,914

It's like a fun tickle.

00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,832

Now, on to double

penetration, boys.

00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,961

You see, sometimes when a woman

has sex with more than one man,

00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,879

each man makes love

to a different orifice.

00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:55,880

That's right.

00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,173

It's something adults can do

00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,425

with really good friends

in a comfortable setting.

00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:01,219

It's also important

that you understand

00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,805

why some people choose

to urinate on each other.

00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,099

Going number one

or number two on your lover

00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,184

is something people might do,

00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:10,770

but you must make sure

your partner is okay with it

00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,313

before you start doing it.

00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,400

Okay, boys.

Do you have any questions?

00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,280

Wow.

00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:25,118

Well, let's all get going.

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,287

Yeah. Come on, boys.

Time to get home.

00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,208

Wait a minute.

Where's Butters?

00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,128

W-Wes hasses our preciouses.

00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,963

Hasses it.

Hasses it.

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,889

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,683

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,688

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,106

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,401

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,194

♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪

00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,612

♪ Timmy, Timmy,

liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪

00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:32,533

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,121

Oh, great Wizard of Gregendath,

00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,331

what quest do you ask

of this ranger and paladin?

00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:41,167

Only one thing can save

our kingdom.

00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,835

You must bring me

a piece of pecan pie

00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,462

with toffee ice cream

and Magic Shell.

00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:45,296

Hurry, now!

00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:47,089

That quest sucks, Cartman.

Think of another one.

00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,008

Uh, boys, Butters' parents

want to borrow

00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,676

the "Lord of the Rings" video

we rented.

00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,887

Could you take it over to them?

00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,722

You're sending us on...a quest?

00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,308

You ask of us to take the one

video to the house of Butters?

00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,392

Yeah. Whatever.

00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,478

It shall be a long journey

with many dangers on the way.

00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,688

But if the tape must be brought

to the house of Butters,

00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:03,898

who else can do it?

- Very well.

00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,816

We shall embark on this quest

immediately, Father.

00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,943

Come, warriors!

- [All ] Ho!

00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,028

[ Door opens ]

00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,280

Hm.

That gets rid of them.

00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,115

Ooh, you're a little frisky,

aren't you?

00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,867

Well, uh,

"The Lord of the Rings"

00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,369

wasn't the only thing I rented

from the video store.

00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:20,372

I also rented...a porno.

00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,458

Oh, you little devil!

00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,251

You want to go watch?

00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,545

How shall we journey

to the house of Butters --

00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,964

through the mines of Vandor

or over the mountains of Grach?

00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,133

Look out! Here comes

the great dragon of Peringraf!

00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,010

Don't worry.

I am the great wizard Molortork.

00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,678

I can shield us

from the dragon's fire.

00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,430

A-beh-beh-beh-beh-beh-beh-beh!

00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,890

Good job, wizard.

00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,475

And so the party

journeyed onward --

00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,143

the great wizard,

the skillful ranger,

00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,311

and the covetous Jew.

00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,063

I'm a paladin, Cartman!

00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,648

Jews can't be paladins.

00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,110

Hey, there, cowboy.

00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:51,445

You ready for some hot,

steamy fun?

00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,613

You bet I am.

00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,449

The guys at the office told me

I had to rent this porno.

00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,576

They said this is

without a doubt

00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,703

the hottest porno ever made.

00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,288

Mm.

Sounds good.

00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,916

I love that lingerie.

00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,377

Yeah.

You like that?

00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:07,628

Mm.

Yeah, baby.

00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,088

Yeah.

00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,173

- All right. You ready?

- Ready.

00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,216

Oh, yeah.

00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,926

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,303

[ Narration ]

The story begins in ages past,

00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,430

in the deep regions

of Middle-earth,

00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:21,475

where Skorn first thrived

in the kingdom of Gelgala.

00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,061

Oh, man, I hate when pornos

try to have a story.

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,022

Seven rings were cast

and given to the races of men.

00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,399

Mm, yeah.

00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,401

Seven to the races of elves,

00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:33,320

five to the Glundock Viladers

of Gelgendol.

00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,240

Wow. The production values

are really good in this porno.

00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,242

Yeah.

It almost looks like...

00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,952

"The Lord of the --"

00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,579

Oh, my God!

00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:43,664

[ Music stops ]

00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,916

This is "Lord of the Rings"!

00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,168

But then, does that mean...

00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:51,088

That the boys have

the hottest porno ever made.

00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,132

[ Knocks on door ]

00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:54,800

Oh, hello, boys.

00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,635

My father has asked

that we bring you this copy

00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,678

of "Lord of the Rings".

00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,055

Well, thank you very much,

kind heroes.

00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,975

Perhaps a reward is in order?

Gold? Frankensteincense?

00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,770

Oh, but you are noble heroes.

We know our thanks is enough.

00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,106

Man, that's crap.

00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,443

Butters, look what we have

for you to watch.

00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,111

"The Lord of the Rings."

00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,280

Oh, boy!

Finally I get to see it!

00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,948

Now, Daddy and I

have to do our taxes.

00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,409

So you can watch this

by yourself and not get scared?

00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,494

I won't get scared, Mom.

Promise.

00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,289

That's our man.

Here you go.

00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,043

Ooh-da-lolly!

00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,295

I finally get to see

"Lord of the Rings"!

00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,256

[[ Up-tempo music playing,

woman moaning ]

00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,258

Spank that ass.

00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,260

[ Smack ]

Oh.

00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,387

[ Moaning continues ]

00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,139

Neato.

00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,351

Oh, yeah.

- This is good!

00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:48,062

Oh, my God. This is gonna be

so embarrassing.

00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,313

"Hi, Chris.

Hi, Linda.

00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,482

We were just wondering if we

could get our porno back."

00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,943

Calm down. Maybe the boys

haven't gotten there yet.

00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,986

And so the party returned home

00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,571

after completing

their great quest.

00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:58,739

The one tape was returned,

00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,824

and South Park was again

at peace.

00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,076

[ Vehicle approaching ]

00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:03,744

Quick!

A monster of Rivendell!

00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:04,870

Prepare for battle!

00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,163

The boys!

00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,289

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,875

Boys! Boys!

Where's the videotape?

00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,544

We gave it to the parents

of Butters, as commanded by you.

00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,964

Oh. I guess we have to

go talk to them now.

00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,298

Well, wait a minute.

00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,967

Boys, do you think you can go

00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,261

get that tape back

for us really fast?

00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,390

This sounds like

a really important quest.

00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:25,307

Yes, it is.

00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,767

This is more important

than anything

00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,185

I have ever asked you to do.

00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,853

You must retrieve the tape.

00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:32,898

But do not look at it,

uh, for it holds an evil power.

00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,901

Retrieve the tape

and return it to us at home.

00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,654

Do this, and you will be

greatly rewarded.

00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,655

Wow.

00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,490

This is so cool.

00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,617

Gentlemen, we are off!

00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:44,952

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,620

Okay.

Problem solved.

00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:51,125

[ Woman moaning ]

00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,378

Like that. Just like that.

00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,546

Mm!

00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,880

Oh, golly.

00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,048

[ Door opens ]

00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,426

Hey, what's happenin'

down there?

00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,886

We have come to reclaim

the one tape.

00:05:03,012 --> 00:05:04,722

[ Woman moans ]

00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,849

Whoa! Whoa!

What are you doing?!

00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,392

The queen and king

of Stansizhouse

00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,311

wish "The Lord of the Rings"

returned to them.

00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:12,187

But it's the greatest movie

I've ever seen.

00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,523

You guys were right.

"Lord of the Rings" is awesome.

00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,358

Y-You're gonna have to let me

finish watching it.

00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,234

Nay, Butters!

00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:20,821

The one tape must be brought

back to Stansizhouse.

00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,115

Aagh!

00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,950

Butters!

We said you can't watch it.

00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:25,951

We have a quest.

00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,120

Then...Then let me go with you.

00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,121

Okay.

Fine, Butters.

00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,372

But if you're gonna hang out

with us,

00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,041

you have to play

like "Lord of the Rings."

00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,459

Oh, okay!

00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:36,420

[ Grunting ]

Yeah.

00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,005

Butters!

What the hell are you doing?!

00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,173

Playing "Lord of the Rings."

00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:42,259

[ Grunts ] Yeah.

- Get the hell off me!

00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,428

You're a freak, Butters!

You can't play with us!

00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,222

Let me have the tape!

- No. We have to return it.

00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,308

My movie.

00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,810

My awesome, cool movie.

00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,189

My...precious.

00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,482

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,359

And so the tape

was again retrieved

00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:00,069

to be brought back

to Stansizhouse.

00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,236

This copy of "Lord of the Rings"

00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,821

made the young Butters behave

quite oddly.

00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,782

And mine parents were acting

strange about it, too.

00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:07,618

Perhaps the one videotape has

some power we have not foreseen.

00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,037

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,497

Well, well, well.

00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,749

If it isn't Robin Hood

and his merry men.

00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,334

Oh, crap.

The sixth graders.

00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,378

What you got there?

- Nothing.

00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,004

Hey, kid.

00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,590

"Lord of the Rings." Ha!

That movie's gay.

00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,717

You're gay.

- What the...

00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,052

Whoa!

00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,678

Check it out, you guys!

00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,222

Whoa.

- Whoa.

00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,474

Give it back. We're on a quest

to return it to my parents.

00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,435

No way. We're keeping this

and watching it ourselves.

00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,311

You can't keep it.

00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,189

What are three little fourth

graders gonna do about it, huh?

00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,315

There's four of us.

00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,109

Kenny's soul is still trapped

in Cartman's body.

00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:40,943

Yeah!

00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,529

Oh, man.

I can't wait to see this.

00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,280

Dude, that video is making

people act strange.

00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,741

The one tape must be returned!

00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:48,742

Run!

00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:49,993

Get 'em!

00:06:50,119 --> 00:06:53,497

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,459

Oh, hello, Randy, Sharon.

00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,878

Uh, Chris,

are the boys over here?

00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,004

No, just Butters.

00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,382

He's been watching "The Lord

of the Rings" downstairs.

00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:04,383

Oh, dear.

00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,467

What's the matter?

00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,387

We -- Well, this is really

sort of funny,

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,265

but, uh, we --

we accidentally put a porno

00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,225

in the "Lord of the Rings"

box.

00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,186

Oh, God!

00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,813

[ Static ]

Butters?

00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,356

Butters?

00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:21,400

Butters!

00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,235

[ Hoarsely ]

The precious.

00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,487

Did you bring back my precious?

00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,531

Butters, where is the movie

you were watching?

00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,032

They took his precious.

00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,951

Took it away to watch

without him.

00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,078

He was really enjoying

that movie, too.

00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,122

My p-precious.

00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:37,791

The boys must have come

and saw what it was

00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,668

and then taken it away

somewhere.

00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,044

Oh, no.

00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,673

[ Insects chirping ]

00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,427

We can't let those sixth graders

00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,803

get their hands

on this videotape.

00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:50,804

I must say I agree.

00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,723

If this copy of "The Lord

of the Rings" is hainted,

00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,391

it would not be safe

in the wrong hands.

00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,268

BOY:

I smell fourth graders!

00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,479

Oh, crap, dude!

- Hide!

00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,481

[ Bicycles approaching ]

00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,816

[ Sniffing ]

00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:06,361

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,697

[ Sniffing ]

00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,326

Hey! I think I see something

down the hill.

00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,453

[All sigh ]

00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,330

The one videotape

is sought after indeed.

00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:18,499

Yeah. Butters, my parents,

now the sixth graders.

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:19,500

Come, guys.

00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:20,709

We must bring this

to the attention

00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,252

of the high elf of Farragon.

00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,380

Yeah! The high elf.

He'll know what to do.

00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,008

And so that's the situation.

00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,177

All the boys are out there

somewhere with a...

00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:31,678

pornographic videotape.

00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,722

Oh, God!

This -- This is horrible!

00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,057

All right.

Calm down.

00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,893

Now, just how bad of a porno

tape are we talking here?

00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,896

I mean, was it like

"Crotch Capers 3"?

00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,024

I'm afraid it was...

"Back Door Sluts 9".

00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,609

"Back Door Sluts 9"?!

- "Back Door Sluts 9"?!

00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,735

Is that bad?

00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,737

"Back Door Sluts 9"

makes "Crotch Capers 3"

00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,322

look like "Naughty Nurses 2"!

00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,116

I-It is the single most vile,

twisted,

00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,118

dark piece of porn ever made.

00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,370

How the hell do you know?

00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:59,081

I, uh...

I-I read about it in People.

00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,374

Oh, this is just great!

00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:01,917

How could you two be

so careless?

00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:02,918

We're sorry.

00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,212

Well, Sheila, we can't shelter

our boys forever

00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,213

from these things.

00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,382

Maybe it's okay for them to see

an adult film.

00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,884

Not without their parents

to put it in a proper context.

00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,553

They won't understand

what they're seeing!

00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,930

It -- It can't hurt them

that much, can it?

00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,725

Precious.

Let me see my p-precious.

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,602

Please!

[ Glass squeaking ]

00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,774

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,819

Open!

00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,238

Bell-lock.

00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,156

What do you guys want?

00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:34,992

We must speak

with the high elf of Farragon.

00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,327

Oh. Okay.

Hang on a second.

00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,455

[ Insects chirping,

dog barking in distance ]

00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,959

What troubles you?

00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,795

We have in our possession

something of great power.

00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,339

It is "The Lord of the Rings."

00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,340

So?

00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,677

I have three copies and the DVD

with 12 hours of extra footage.

00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,138

Yes, but this is not --

Wow. Twelve hours?

00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,806

Yes, but this is not

a normal copy.

00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,725

It's making people act

really strange.

00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,935

We're seriously, high elf.

00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,021

Something very evil lurks

in this tape.

00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,856

Very well. I shall call

the council together.

00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,190

Meet me

in the Woods of Gathering

00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:08,734

behind Talangar the Black's

house.

00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,611

Don't let my mom see you,

'cause I'll get in trouble.

00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,279

Thank you,

high elf of Parragon.

00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,072

Farragon!

Asshole.

00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,533

Clyde's a dick.

00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,160

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,329

All right.

Everybody listen up.

00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,831

There's three snot-nosed

little fourth graders out there

00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,334

who have a porno

called "Back Door Sluts 9."

00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,710

ALL:

Ooh!

00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,337

I checked it out

on the Internet,

00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,297

and it said

that "Back Door Sluts 9"

00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,508

is the most hard-core porno

ever made.

00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:34,551

[All ]

Ah!

00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,678

I have amassed this army

of sixth graders

00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,847

to get the tape

by any means necessary.

00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,224

Now, let's go get that porno!

00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:44,645

[All shouting ]

00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,814

And so that is the situation.

00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,025

The videotape may

or may not have evil powers.

00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,027

Kyle, would you bring it

up here, please?

00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:56,782

Ah!

- Ooh!

00:10:56,907 --> 00:11:00,202

That video could have been made

by Sauron's evil f-f-forces.

00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,120

It could hold a mental spell

of some kind.

00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,165

Perhaps we could use it

to strengthen our star cruisers.

00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,462

Kevin, God damn it.

00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,883

Look, until we see

this tape's power for ourselves,

00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,468

we cannot risk

giving it to anybody.

00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,428

But if we watch it, we could

fall under its spell, too.

00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:19,471

That is true.

00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,181

Only a paladin

with a high constitution

00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,265

should watch the tape.

00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:25,936

Therefore, I think it is a job

for you, Talangar the Black.

00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,105

I'm not scared.

00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:29,606

I'll go inside

and watch the tape --

00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,024

just for a few seconds.

00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,943

If I do not return

in two minutes,

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,277

send a party in after me.

00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,697

The fate of Middle-earth

is in my hands.

00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:39,074

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,912

Fourth graders!

00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,165

Give us that porno!

00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,751

Boys?

00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,920

Boys, we're not mad at you!

00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,464

We just want to talk to you!

00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,216

[ Insects chirping ]

00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,677

Talangar the Black returns

from watching the video.

00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:01,138

What sights did you see

on the videotape, Talangar?

00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,473

Is it the work

of Sauron's magic?

00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,350

I'm not playing anymore.

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,561

Whoa. Wait.

What'd you see?

00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,896

I don't know.

I don't want to know.

00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,857

I'm out.

[ Claps hands ]

00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,655

My God. This thing

must really be powerful.

00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,615

This tape makes people freak out

wherever it goes.

00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,200

What do we do with it?

- One thing's for sure.

00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,910

This tape cannot be trusted

with anybody.

00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,371

It must be returned to the

video store from whence it came.

00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,331

Where is the videotape

rented from?

00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,584

Two Towers Video Store

i-in Conifer.

00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:32,586

Conifer?!

Walking there would take hours!

00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:33,879

There's no alternative.

00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,214

We have to return the tape

before it causes more damage.

00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,466

- I'll go.

- Ha!

00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,926

We cannot trust something

of that much power to a dwarf!

00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,428

Especially

a kindergartner dwarf.

00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,513

[All shouting ]

00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:44,765

Stop acting like

a bunch of assholes.

00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,975

I will take it.

00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,769

I will walk to the video store.

00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,854

It is too far and too dangerous

to go alone.

00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:53,315

Take with you the wizard,

the dwarf, the warrior,

00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,816

the cleric, and the Jew.

00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,651

Paladin!

- Very well.

00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,112

You shall be the fellowship

of "The Lord of the Rings."

00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,489

Good luck.

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,199

I have to go home now

before I get in trouble.

00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,367

Me too!

- Uh-huh.

00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,702

Only the six of us

are to go?

00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,037

No, no.

There's seven of us.

00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,080

Kenny's soul is still trapped

in Cartman's body, remember?

00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,123

Yeah, stupid.

00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,125

Yeah, luckily Cartman's

big enough for the both of us.

00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,627

Shut up, Kenny!

00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,215

[ Narration ] And so it was that

the heroes traveled many miles

00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,718

to return "The Lord of

the Rings" to the video store.

00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,846

We have reached

the great pass of Mount Uruloch.

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,598

Look out!

00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,058

We were almost killed!

00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,310

A dark wizard must be

trying to stop us!

00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,646

Someone or something doesn't

want this video returned

00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,272

to the video store.

00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,944

Oh.

Hello, everybody.

00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,695

Steve, we heard

that a bunch of the kids

00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,239

were over here

a little while ago.

00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:44,449

Well, yes, I believe they were,

but they've gone.

00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,700

What's the matter?

00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:49,913

We think our boys might be

showing other children a, uh...

00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,456

pornographic tape.

00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,290

What?

00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,417

But Token's never seen

a porno before.

00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,169

He wouldn't know what to --

Oh, God!

00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,254

Token!

00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,802

Token?

00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:07,597

Did the boys come over and...

show you a movie?

00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,642

Token?

00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:12,769

All right, Token.

00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,856

We know you must be very

confused about what you saw.

00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:18,942

Yes.

00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:22,612

You see, Token, that was called

a pornographic film.

00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,031

It shows adult men

and adult women

00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,367

having sexual intercourse.

00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,081

Well, y-you see, when a -- when

a man and a woman fall in love,

00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,251

the -- the man puts his penis

in the woman's vagina.

00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,588

It's called lovemaking,

and it's part of being in love.

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,009

And when the woman has four

penises in her at the same time,

00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,802

then stands over the men

and pees on them,

00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,721

is that part of being in love,

too?

00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,766

Five midgets spanking a man

00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,476

covered with

Thousand Island dressing --

00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,103

Is that making love?

00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,022

Jesus.

What kind of porno was that?

00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:58,815

It was "Back Door Sluts 9".

00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,568

Oh, Jesus!

Not that one!

00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,737

Oh, Gerald, poor Kyle

must be just as confused

00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,196

and scared as this poor kid.

00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,407

Token, this is very important.

00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,493

Do you know where the boys went

with the naughty tape?

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,537

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,497

We're entering

the limits of Bailey.

00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:15,665

Everyone stay close.

00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,417

Perhaps the great ringworm

of Bailey is about.

00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,711

Ringworms are no match

for a dwarf.

00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,464

Yes, we shall slay the ringworm

and take its bounty of treasure.

00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,757

For that is the way of the --

00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,091

I shall put a magic spell

on you!

00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,010

I have blocked your spell,

wizard!

00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,470

Hey, what are you guys doing?

00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,805

We're playing Harry Potter.

00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,265

Ha!

00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,725

Fags!

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,022

You guys,

somebody's following us.

00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,523

It's Butters.

- Butters?

00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,609

Yes. He's been following us

for like two hours.

00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:45,570

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,113

The precious videotape.

00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,615

L-Let the Butters see it.

00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,784

Just ignore him.

Maybe he'll go away.

00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,036

Hey, fellas,

mind if we take a little r-rest?

00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,121

There is no time for rest,

sorcerer. Keep up.

00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,207

[ Shouting in distance ]

00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,209

[ Music continues ]

00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,585

[All shouting ]

00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,545

They are coming.

00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,298

You guys go on ahead.

00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:07,801

- Jimmy, are you sure?

- Go!

00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,138

You shall not p-pa...

00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:16,017

You shall not pa...pa...

00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,604

You shall not pa...

- [All shouting ]

00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,735

You shall not p--

00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,070

you shall not p-pa--

00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,489

p-p-p...pa...

00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,491

You shall -- p...

00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,159

[ Shouting fades ]

00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,371

[ Grunts ]

You shall not p-pass.

00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,664

Jimmy didn't stop them!

00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,499

They're going to take

"The Lord of the Rings" from us!

00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,667

Quick!

Cross the river!

00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,335

Sixth graders can't stand water.

00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,545

What?

That's stupid.

00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,046

I am a high-ranking

white wizard, Craig,

00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,840

and I say sixth graders

are opposed to water!

00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,259

Whatever. I'm going back to play

with the Harry Potter kids.

00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,844

Me too.

00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,848

Go ahead and play

Harry butt-hole pussy Potter!

00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,183

Just get across the river!

They're coming!

00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,602

[ Boys shouting ]

00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,856

Whoa!

- Whoa!

00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,191

What the hell is wrong

with you guys?! Get the tape!

00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,693

Dude, I don't want to get wet.

00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,319

Yeah.

I don't really like the water.

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,739

Besides, if our bikes get wet,

the chains will rust.

00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,491

Oh, God damn it. All right.

Come on. We'll find a bridge.

00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,160

[ Shouting continues ]

00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,329

[ Narration ]

The quest continued to return

00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,790

"The Lord of the Rings"

to the video store.

00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,876

Man, we should have never

crossed that stupid river.

00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,587

Yeah. Good job, wizard fat-ass.

Now we're totally lost.

00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,130

We're not lost,

Jewgar of Jewlingrad.

00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,423

We just don't know where we are.

00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,841

That's what lost means, stupid.

00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,885

Kenny, shut your Goddamn mouth!

- This is great.

00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,011

We're in the middle of nowhere

00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,430

and nobody knows what direction

the video store is in.

00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,265

The Butters knowses.

00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,517

Oh, brother.

- The video store. Yes.

00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,353

Not far from here.

W-We can show you wheres it is.

00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,188

Where?

00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:46,441

First just let Butters s-see

the precious.

00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,401

No, Butters.

Look what it's done to you.

00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,153

It's made you even lamer

than before.

00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,279

If that was possible.

00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,031

Tell us how to get

to the video store, Butters,

00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,365

or else we're gonna kick

your ass!

00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,118

No hurtses the Butters.

We will show you the way.

00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,121

Yes.

This way it is.

00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:01,539

This is awful!

00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,124

I just know

with every passing minute,

00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,877

little Kyle is seeing more

and more depraved sex acts!

00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,961

We'll find them.

00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,297

And then we'll try to put

what they saw into context.

00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,799

Look!

There's one of the boys now.

00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,675

[ Tires screech ]

00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,135

Jimmy!

- Jimmy! Jimmy!

00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,346

Where did the boys go

with the porno tape?

00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,348

They were taking it to the v...

00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:21,226

the v...the v...

00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,228

Come on, Jimmy.

We don't have a lot of time.

00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,938

They took it back

to the video s...

00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:26,731

the video s...

00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,650

The video sandwich?

00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,026

The video stockyard?

00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:31,569

What's a video stockyard, Jimmy?

00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,571

No. The video st...

00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:34,739

The video st...

00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:35,990

Stinger?

- Staples!

00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,326

They went to the video staples.

Where's that, Jimmy?

00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,953

N-No, you retards!

00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,996

The video s-store.

00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,289

[All ]

The video store!

00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,582

Hurry! Hurry!

00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,084

I know where it is.

00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,419

[ Engines start, tires screech ]

00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,924

[All panting ]

00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,926

[ Dramatic music plays ]

00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,178

Oh, no! They're closed!

- Closed?!

00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,305

There they are!

[ Boys shouting ]

00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,766

Don't let 'em turn it back in

to the video store!

00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,934

We're screwed.

00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,352

Wait!

A drop box!

00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,147

Quick, Kyle!

Drop the movie in!

00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,440

Finally, it's over.

00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,110

Precious.

Must have our precious.

00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,903

Aah!

- Butters! No!

00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,530

Nows wes hasses it.

00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,906

[All shouting ]

00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,032

They're coming!

00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:20,618

It has to go back!

00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,287

It wantses to stay

with the Butterses.

00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,164

There it is.

Give me that tape.

00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,793

Let go of the tape, Butters!

- I'm never letting go!

00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,878

Fine!

00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,546

[ Echoing ]

Precious!

00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,339

No!

00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,883

No! No!

00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:36,968

Damn it!

00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,470

Aw, man, now we'll never see

the hot action.

00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,723

You stupid little

fourth graders!

00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,308

The tape is returned

to which it came.

00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,226

Its power over you

shall fade as well.

00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,603

Middle-earth is again safe.

00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,731

Yeah? Well, that's not gonna

stop us from kicking your asses.

00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,357

Uh-oh.

00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,195

[ Horn honking ]

00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,655

Boys! Boys!

00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,115

Crap!

Parents.

00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,617

Come on, guys.

00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,411

We'll see you next time,

fourthies.

00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,122

And perhaps they would.

00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,416

But for now, the sixth-grader

army was defeated.

00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,459

There you are.

00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,127

Oh, Kyle!

You're safe!

00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,004

Oh, hey, guys.

We were just about to come home.

00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,297

We had to return the video.

00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,798

All right.

Now -- Now, listen, kids.

00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,301

There are some things we need

to put into context for you.

00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,304

You see, a man puts his penis

into a woman's vagina

00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,181

for both love and pleasure.

00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,433

But sometimes the woman lays

on top of the man,

00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,268

facing the other way

so that they can put

00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,229

each other's genitals

in their mouths.

00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,940

This is called sixty-nining,

and it's normal.

00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,359

See, boys, a woman is sensitive

in her vagina,

00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,111

and it feels good to have

a man's penis inside of it.

00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,112

That's right.

00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,865

But sometimes a woman chooses

to use other things --

00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,825

telephones, staplers, magazines.

00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:46,204

It's because the nerve endings

in the vagina are so sensitive.

00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,914

It's like a fun tickle.

00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,832

Now, on to double

penetration, boys.

00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,961

You see, sometimes when a woman

has sex with more than one man,

00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,879

each man makes love

to a different orifice.

00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:55,880

That's right.

00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,173

It's something adults can do

00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,425

with really good friends

in a comfortable setting.

00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:01,219

It's also important

that you understand

00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,805

why some people choose

to urinate on each other.

00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,099

Going number one

or number two on your lover

00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,184

is something people might do,

00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:10,770

but you must make sure

your partner is okay with it

00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,313

before you start doing it.

00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,400

Okay, boys.

Do you have any questions?

00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,280

Wow.

00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:25,118

Well, let's all get going.

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,287

Yeah. Come on, boys.

Time to get home.

00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,248

[ Insects chirping,

dog barking in distance ]

00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,208

Wait a minute.

Where's Butters?

00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,128

W-Wes hasses our preciouses.

00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,963

Hasses it.

Hasses it.