А сиськи всё испортили

00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111

♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪

00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071

♪ Timmy, Timmy,

liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪

00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,831

Oh, hello, boys.

00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,291

Hi.

The school called and said

00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,792

we all have to start

going to class again.

00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,502

Oh, but I thought

your teacher died.

00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,046

She did, but now they're saying

00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:46,547

we have to start going back

to school anyways.

00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,257

It's totally gay.

- Oh, well, I'll tell Eric.

00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,761

He's just down in the basement

playing with his dolls.

00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,305

Cartman likes

to play with dolls?

00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,724

Hello, Precious.

00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,684

Yes, that's a good Precious.

00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,400

Now it takes the lotion

from the basket.

00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,778

Please,

mister! Let me out of here!

00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,362

It puts the lotion on its skin,

00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:11,947

or else it gets the hose again.

00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:15,034

Yes, that's a good Precious.

00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,078

Okay, now, it puts the lotion

back in the basket.

00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:19,371

Please, mister, let me out!

00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,707

It puts

the lotion back in the basket.

00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:24,210

I miss my

mom, mister! I want to see my...

00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,003

Put the lotion

in the fucking basket!

00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,838

Sweetie?

- Yes, Mom?

00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,633

You have to get ready

for school.

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,384

No, our teacher's dead,

remember?

00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,178

Yes, but they said

two weeks off was enough,

00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,055

and they want everyone back.

00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,473

Two weeks isn't enough.

00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,141

I'm not over our teacher's

tragic death.

00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,351

I'm still sh-shooken up.

00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,602

You'll get over it, honey.

00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,605

But I want to playyyyy!

00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,444

I can't believe it's been two

weeks since I've seen you guys.

00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,779

What have you been doing?

00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,322

Hey, guys!

- Hey, Bebe!

00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,242

You guys, uh, notice

anything different?

00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,827

Oh, my God, Bebe, you got boobs!

00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,703

Yeah, they started

coming in last week.

00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,330

At first I thought they

were just mosquito bites,

00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,748

but then they didn't go away.

00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,126

M'kay, kids.

Let's take our seats, m'kay?

00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:08,254

I know this has been a difficult

couple weeks for you all

00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,297

with the untimely death

of your teacher.

00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,551

But it's time for us to try

to move on and learn, m'kay?

00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:14,718

Mr. Mackey,

I don't think I'm over

00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,387

the teacher's tragic death yet.

00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,430

I need more time. It's just --

It still hurts, you know?

00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:21,267

Can I go home?

- No, Eric, what we're gonna do

00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,061

is learn to hide our emotions

with math problems.

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:28,149

M'kay, so, let's start with some

multiplication tables, m'kay?

00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,900

First we'll do 4 times 4...

00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,861

Dude, look at Bebe.

00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,947

Something seems different

about her.

00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,407

Yeah, I noticed that, too.

00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,825

Did she get a haircut

or something?

00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,784

I don't know.

00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,414

Hey, Token, you know,

I never really noticed before,

00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,249

but that girl Bebe

is kind of cool.

00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,542

I was just thinking

the same thing.

00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,127

It's like she's a girl,

00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:49,837

but she's someone

you could hang out with.

00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,047

Yeah, Bebe is kind of cool, huh?

00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,051

Hey, Craig,

is that the same shirt

00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:57,553

that that Bebe chick

always wears?

00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,263

I don't know. Why?

00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,725

It just -- It just seems like

a really awesome shirt.

00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,977

Yeah, it kind of does.

00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,067

M'kay, and so, uh --

00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,446

So, who can tell me the answer

to the first problem, 6 times 8?

00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,488

Uh, Bebe?

00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,742

Oh, uh...48?

00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160

Whoa!

00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,787

That is an awesome answer!

- Yeah!

00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,331

Dude, Bebe is really smart.

00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,957

Yeah, I never

noticed that before.

00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,001

Maybe she's actually cool

enough to hang out with us.

00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,294

Yeah, maybe.

00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:34,757

But I was like, "I'm not buying

those shoes for $20."

00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,052

Uh, hey, Bebe.

- Yeah?

00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,137

Uh, we're gonna go throw

rocks at cars later on,

00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,056

and we thought maybe

you'd like to join us.

00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,849

Really? I've never

done that before.

00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,184

It's really fun!

00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,685

You toss these

little rocks at cars,

00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,437

and if the driver gets angry,

you blame me!

00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,730

Yeah, it's cool!

00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,482

Well, sure,

that sounds hella fun.

00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,318

Yeah, hella fun!

- She's right!

00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,819

Wow. "Hella" fun.

That's awesome.

00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,238

I'm gonna start saying that now.

00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,364

Cool.

We'll see you later, Bebe.

00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,158

Stan, you've never asked m e

00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,327

to throw rocks at cars

with you guys.

00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,454

That's different, dude.

You're, like, my girlfriend.

00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,373

Bebe's just -- I don't know.

She's just cool.

00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,166

Yeah, she's really cool.

00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,168

It's weird how we

never noticed before.

00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,839

So, what you do, see,

is you wait for a car

00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:16,924

to drive by that big pine tree.

00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,384

Then you chuck a rock at it.

00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,426

It's all about the timing.

00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,304

You damn kids!

00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,389

Cool!

00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,932

You try it, Bebe!

- Okay.

00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:25,975

Here comes a sedan!

00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,354

You damn kids!

00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:31,939

Cool!

00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,315

That was the most perfect throw

00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,234

I've ever seen!

- That was sweet, Bebe!

00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,944

Now, if you just hold

the rock like this --

00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,612

Yeah, here, like, if you put

your thumb on this side --

00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,489

I'm showing her.

00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,032

Yeah, just let me show her real

quick how to put the thumb --

00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,830

Anyways, you put a spin on it

by holding it here --

00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,665

Yeah, and then you can actually

hold it like this --

00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,548

Uh, listen, guys, um, it's 5:30.

00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,925

I'm supposed to get home,

so I'll see you later.

00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,640

Wait.

What were we doing again?

00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,933

We were throwing rocks at cars.

00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,184

Oh, yeah.

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,853

Here comes an S.U.V.!

00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,064

You damn kids!

00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,195

Hi, Bebe!

- Hey, everybody.

00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,948

Oh, for Christ's sake.

- M'kay.

00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,743

Kids, yesterday,

I asked you to write a paper

00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,369

to read aloud for the class.

00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,912

Now, who wants to start?

00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,707

M'kay, Clyde.

00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,292

My paper is called

00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,627

"Why Bebe

Is the Coolest Person Ever."

00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,212

Hey, that's what I wrote about!

00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,380

Me too!

00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:45,054

M'kay.

Go ahead, Clyde.

00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,307

"My friend Bebe is really smart.

00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,268

She tells funny jokes

and knows a lot about stuff.

00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,812

She's good at almost

everything she tries.

00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,856

She's awesome.

The end."

00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,861

M'kay. Very nice, Clyde.

00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,364

Uh, Token, why don't you

read your paper?

00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,075

"If I Could Be Bebe."

00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,952

"If I was Bebe, I would have

lots of friends

00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,662

because I would be so great.

00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:14,291

I would make people smile

and think wherever I went."

00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,461

M'kay.

Interesting, Token.

00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,506

Uh...who would like to go next?

00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:25,677

Uh, how about someone who didn't

write about how cool Bebe is?

00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,388

Oh.

00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,890

M'kay, Bebe.

00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,975

"My Cat, Thumper."

00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,185

Wow!

00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,604

"Thumper is gray

with a white spot.

00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,606

Sometimes he likes

to chase his tail."

00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,485

Chase his tail!

That must be so funny!

00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,028

"Thumper is 12 years old.

00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,030

That's pretty old for a cat.

00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,532

The end."

00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:47,783

Wow!

00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,243

God, you know, that's so true,

00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,036

because you sometimes

never really think about

00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,496

how old a pet is

until it's gone.

00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081

That's true, huh?

00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,999

Man, that really makes me

reflect on my pets.

00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,919

That's such a great paper.

00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,507

M'kay, Wendy, why don't

we hear your paper?

00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,134

"The New Cold War."

00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,428

Oh, God, here we go again.

Dork alert!

00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,349

But then the mall closes

at 4:00 or 5:00, so --

00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,059

Have any of you dumb girls

seen Bebe anywhere?

00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,103

No!

- Maybe she's in the lunch line.

00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,855

Yeah!

00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,106

Can you believe Bebe?

00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,524

She thinks she's so cool

all of a sudden!

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,942

I can't stand her anymore.

00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,527

She's such a slut.

- She's a total slut.

00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,154

You know what I heard?

I heard that she made out

00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,072

with eight different boys

in one minute.

00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,157

I heard

that she lifted her shirt

00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,700

to the boys at the bus stop.

00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,119

I heard that her asshole

is, like, this big around.

00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,370

Whoa!

00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,247

Hey, guys.

- Oh, hey, Bebe.

00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,748

Slut. Slut.

00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,293

Slut. Slut.

- Slut.

00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,420

You guys still want to go

ice-skating after school?

00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,838

Oh, no, that's okay, Bebe.

00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,131

You might trip,

and then we'd be sucked

00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,299

into your huge, gaping vagina

00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,050

like ants into a vacuum cleaner.

00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,594

Slut. Slut.

00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,888

Slut.

- Slut.

00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,193

Bebe, is something the matter?

00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,112

Oh, Mom. It's just...

my girlfriends at school

00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,906

said some really mean things

to me today.

00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,868

They called me a slut

with a huge, gaping vagina.

00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,787

Oh, sweetie,

you're all just growing up.

00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,123

Part of being a woman

is having a friend one day

00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,750

and calling her a slut the next.

00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,084

But am I slutty just because

00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,294

I'm starting to be friends

with guys?

00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,670

I mean, they just like me

00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,130

because they think

I'm smart and cool.

00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,840

I remember,

when I was a little girl,

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,092

the boys didn't think

I was very smart at all.

00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,677

But then one day,

00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,679

they all started thinking

I was really smart.

00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,891

I guess big smarts

just run in our family.

00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,644

Well, if the girls don't want

to be my friends, that's fine.

00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,771

Guys are way cooler anyways.

00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,525

You guys wanted me

to meet you here?

00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,110

Yeah, have a seat, Tweek.

We all need to have a talk.

00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,362

Oh, God!

00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,030

All right, guys,

now that we're all here,

00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,324

I think we need to have

a difficult conversation.

00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,743

It's obvious that Bebe is,

like, the coolest, smartest,

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,286

most awesome person

we've ever met.

00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,788

True. Yeah.

- True. Yeah.

00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,748

And, you know, we've been

trying to fill the gap

00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,667

with a fourth friend

ever since Kenny died --

00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,127

God rest his soul -- and it

hasn't been an easy process.

00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:05,921

Right.

- Uh-huh.

00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,049

So, even though I think it's

a tough thing to do right now,

00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,176

I think maybe it's best

for everyone if we make room

00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,845

to allow Bebe to be

our new fourth friend.

00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,472

Yeah.

- That would be best.

00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:16,723

Well, I'm glad

you guys all agree.

00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,350

And so, Kyle, I just want to say

00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,227

that it's been really great

and we're gonna miss you.

00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,603

Huh?!

- Kyle?

00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,313

And even though

it didn't quite work out,

00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,856

I'm sure you'll find other

friends down the road, Kyle.

00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,025

Here's a nice watch for you

and some peanuts.

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,486

Me?! Dude, I've been here

since the beginning!

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,154

And we're really sad

to see you go.

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,531

Let's give a big round of

applause for Kyle, everybody.

00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,740

Hip-hip!

00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,492

Dude, we're not

kicking Kyle out!

00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,035

Pleeease?

00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,078

No!

00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,955

All right, fine!

00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,332

So then I guess we have no

choice but to let you go, Tweek.

00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,209

But we want you to know

that it's been really fun.

00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,586

Here's a watch and some peanuts.

00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:47,296

No way! Tweek's cool!

- Yeah!

00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,923

Well, dumb-asses, how are

we gonna make room for Bebe?

00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,971

Thanks for inviting me to ride

the bus to school with you guys.

00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,055

Sure thing, Bebe.

00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,807

That's fine!

That's fine!

00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,519

Fuck you, Kyle,

and fuck you, Stan!

00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,981

Fuck you, Tweek!

00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,358

Bebe, you're still cool.

00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,159

What are you doing?

- We're trying to get Bebe

00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,702

to run for class president!

00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,537

I 'm class president!

00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,205

The vote was last fall!

00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:23,790

Well, yeah. But, Wendy,

you have to admit

00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,667

Bebe's a lot smarter

and more organized than you.

00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,919

Yeah, we need

a leader like Bebe.

00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,964

She can teach us all so much.

- Uh-huh.

00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,050

She's not smarter

and cooler than everyone!

00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,135

You guys are just drawn

to something else!

00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,013

What?

00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:42,059

God, you guys are so stupid!

00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,311

Stupider than Bebe!

00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,437

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,397

Bebe's cool, huh, fellas?

00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,315

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,192

Sure is.

- Yep.

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,737

I can't wait to watch

"Terrance & Phillip" with Bebe!

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,823

Yeah!

Where are you guys going?

00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,575

We're going to see

our friend Bebe.

00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,952

Bebe is our friend.

Didn't you all get the memo?

00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,454

Bebe is everybody's friend.

00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164

Yeah, God put Bebe on Earth

00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,916

to enrich everyone's lives.

00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,504

Timmy! Timmy!

00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,297

All right, I guess we can all

00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,465

watch "Terrance & Phillip"

together.

00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,095

Oh, hello, boys.

- Is Bebe home?

00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,930

No, she's with one

of her little friends.

00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,307

But she should be back shortly

if you boys want to wait.

00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,601

Who is she with?

- I believe she's playing "Lambs"

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,311

over at Eric Cartman's house.

00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,979

Cartman's?

00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940

See, and this is Precious!

00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,817

Precious?

- Bark, bark, bark!

00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,819

Okay, so, then we put

my mom's hand lotion

00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,405

in this little basket and lower

it down to Polly Prissy Pants.

00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,115

Uh-huh.

00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,493

Now you say, "It puts

the lotion on its skin,

00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,161

or else it gets the hose again."

00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,080

It...puts the lotion

on its skin,

00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,166

or else it gets the hose again.

- Yeah!

00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,043

Mister,

please let me out of here!

00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,253

Now say it again -- louder!

00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,629

It puts the lotion on its skin,

00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,297

or else it gets the hose again.

00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,800

Good! Now -- Now put the lotion

back in the basket.

00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,510

My parents have money, mister!

00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,011

They'll give you

whatever you want! Please!

00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,304

Now just yell, "put the lotion

00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,556

in the fucking basket!"

00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:03,890

Put the lotion in the basket!

00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,434

Put the lotion

in the fucking basket!

00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,977

Oh, no, Precious!

00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,270

I got your dog, mister!

00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,896

Let me out or I'm gonna kill it!

00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,815

You say,

"Don't you hurt my fucking dog!"

00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,442

Don't you hurt my fucking dog!

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,527

You bitch!

I'll cut your throat!

00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,028

What the hell are you doing?

00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,072

We're playing "Lambs."

00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,323

Bebe, I thought we were gonna

00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,783

watch "Terrance & Phillip"

today.

00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,076

Yeah, and then we got to

work on your campaign!

00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,286

Right, but first

we have to go to --

00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,081

You guys, calm down!

00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,213

Timmy! Timmy!

00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:40,469

This is insane!

Stop it, you guys! Please!

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,515

Ow!

00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,401

Oh, boy, I never meant

to cause all this trouble.

00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,071

Aaaaah!

00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,078

Bebe, those boys

from your school

00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,664

are still waiting outside

to see if you'll come out.

00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:10,665

I know.

00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,292

They've been there all day.

00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:39,861

Looks like my little girl

has a lot of gentlemen callers.

00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,656

Mom, why is everyone acting

so different around me?

00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,200

Sweetie, you're just blossoming

into a woman.

00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,202

But I don't know if I want to.

00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,579

Sometimes I think I'm not

as smart and cool as they say.

00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,748

That everyone just tells me I am

because of my hooters.

00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,333

Sweetie, you're a Stevens.

00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,126

And Stevens women

are always told

00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,671

they're really, really smart.

00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,549

Mom, what's 6 times 8?

00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,925

Oh, sweetie.

00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,845

Those are two completely

different numbers.

00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,061

All right, boys,

time to be getting home.

00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,772

Bebe's not feeling well,

and she can't come out today.

00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,315

Go on! Shoo!

00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,702

Oh, whew!

We made it!

00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,662

Boys, can you call 911 for us?

00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,876

Oh, my God!

We've landed on Earth

00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:36,960

thousands of years

in the future,

00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,336

and apes have taken over!

00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,046

I knew it!

You blew it up, didn't you?!

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:43,091

I don't want to live

in this futuristic madness!

00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,719

Take your ape world

and go to hell!

00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,890

Having boobs sucks.

00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,393

Well, hello, there, little girl.

00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,728

My name is Dr. Hallis.

00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,229

What can I do for you today?

00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,524

I want to have

breast-reduction surgery.

00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,613

You?

- Yes.

00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,033

I have $212 in nickels

and a gold bracelet.

00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,493

Well, young lady, I'm afraid

that we don't offer

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,163

breast-reduction surgery

to girls of your age.

00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,874

Why not? Britney Spears got fake

ones when she was a teenager.

00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,626

Why can't I have mine taken off?

00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,002

Because making breasts larger

00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,629

is a beautiful

and wonderful thing.

00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,214

Making them smaller is...insane.

00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,133

I think it's insane

to want them bigger!

00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,719

Why do you hate your breasts so?

00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:28,970

Ever since I got

these stupid things,

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,430

everyone treats me differently.

00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:31,723

I feel like

I might be treated differently

00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:32,974

the rest of my life.

00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,976

Oh, come on, now.

That's just silly.

00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,603

Here's the Anderson file,

Doctor.

00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,063

Oh, awesome!

00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,065

Thank you so much, Jillian.

That's great.

00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,567

Oh, God damn.

Thank you so much.

00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,071

And here's the coffee

you wanted, Doctor.

00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,697

Yeah, whatever.

Get out of here.

00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,325

Now, I was saying?

00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,910

Please, you have to help me!

00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,828

I think that if my breasts

keep growing this way,

00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,580

boys will give me

whatever I want.

00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,207

Yeah, so,

that's great, isn't it?

00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,042

No, it's not!

Because if I grow up

00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,835

getting everything I want and

having things made easy for me

00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,295

because I have hot knockers,

00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,130

then I'm gonna grow up

to be a lame person.

00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,465

If I'm handed

everything in life,

00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,675

then my chances

of becoming a lawyer

00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,593

or a marine biologist are zero!

00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,512

That may be true,

but I'm afraid I just cannot

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,722

ethically perform

a breast-reduction surgery

00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,766

on an 8-year-old girl.

- Damn it!

00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,393

If, on the other hand,

you'd like

00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:17,894

to make them a little bigger,

I think now might be

00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,229

the right time to size up, mmm?

00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,981

Oh, fuck off!

00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,693

Randy, could you have

a talk with Stanley?

00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,111

Why?

What's the matter with him?

00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,445

It's just that -- Well...

00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,781

he's been acting a little

different lately.

00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,491

Ah-tah!

00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,035

Ah-tah!

00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,955

He's been ignoring his homework

and all of his friends.

00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,289

I can't figure out why.

00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,208

Ah-tah.

00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,544

Ah-tah!

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,463

Oh, boy. It looks like he's

starting to notice breasts.

00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,048

Oh, yes.

00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,217

Our little Stanley

is starting to become a man.

00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,844

Ah-tah!

00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,303

Ahh...ah-tah!

00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,555

Hey, there, Son.

00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,931

Huh?

00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,474

Ah-tah. Ah-tah.

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,602

Yes, ah-tah.

Let's have a talk, Stan.

00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,521

Tah...

00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:05,400

Stan, as you get older,

boobs -- these ah-tah --

00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,028

will start becoming

a major part of your life.

00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,155

Ah-tah?

- But, Stanley,

00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,323

you can't let them get

in the way of your friends.

00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,200

There are lots of boobs

out there, son.

00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,245

But they're just boobs.

Your friends are forever.

00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,914

Friends...ah-tah.

00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,375

I know you think this set

of boobs is important now,

00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,919

but those boobs will be replaced

by another set of boobs.

00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,504

Boobs will come and go.

00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,590

And then, someday,

you'll meet a pair of boobs

00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,175

that you want to marry,

00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,302

and those become the boobs

that matter the most.

00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,678

I love you.

00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,097

If you can just

understand that, Stanley,

00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,267

you'll see that boobs

hold no re a I power at all.

00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,320

The boys are at war.

00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,447

All is going as planned.

- Yes.

00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,866

Soon all the boys

will be brought to their knees.

00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,534

We grow larger every day...

00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,744

And stronger.

00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:58,995

Soon, the entire town --

00:17:59,120 --> 00:17:59,996

Shh! Shh!

She's awake!

00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:00,997

Oh, quiet!

00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,583

Mom! Mom!

00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,919

What is it, Bebe?

- My breasts!

00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,379

Oh, sweetheart, you're

just becoming a young lady.

00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,090

No, they're conspiring!

00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,926

Mom, they were talking.

They want to destroy the town!

00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,886

Yes, darling,

your breasts have a power

00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,013

that will unleash itself

as you get older.

00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,681

They feed off the misery of boys

00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,725

and grow to bring woe

wherever they can.

00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,019

You're blossoming into a woman.

00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,521

That does it!

00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,273

I'm not letting these things

run my life!

00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,696

Young lady,

are you absolutely sure

00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:37,200

you want to consider this kind

of procedure for your breasts?

00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,328

Yes, I want to get

breast implants.

00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,080

I tried to tell her

she was too young.

00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:44,582

Well, it is a different time,

Mrs. Testaberger.

00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,959

Society puts a lot of pressure

00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,585

on your daughter

to look her best.

00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,255

Having small breasts

can make her feel unimportant.

00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,258

But she's 8!

00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,052

Yes, well, not too young to feel

flat and, therefore, not pretty.

00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,388

That's what I said.

- However, young lady,

00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,807

I'm afraid breast implants

are not for everyone.

00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,392

I'll need to carefully assess

00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,561

your physical and mental

condition to see if augmentation

00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,604

is truly the best way

for you to go.

00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,356

I have $3,000 cash.

00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,649

You pass.

Let's do this thing.

00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,359

Oh, wait! You're gonna

do it right now?

00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,404

Sure, breast augmentation

is now a very simple procedure.

00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,698

What we do is make a small

incision in the armpit,

00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,032

where it won't be seen.

00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,742

Then we take

this little plastic bag

00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,411

and gently place it

in the chest,

00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,079

where we fill it

with salt water.

00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,081

I still don't know about this.

00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,834

Look, us plastic surgeons

have one philosophy --

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,128

If we can help someone's

self-esteem a little,

00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:33,381

then why not do it

if they have $3,000?

00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,309

Got to...jam it!

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,393

Oh, there.

00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,438

Get...in...there...you bitch!

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:52,025

Get...in...there...you bitch!

00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:56,196

Ah. Okay, there's one, Wendy.

Doing great.

00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:01,910

M'kay, kids, we need to

talk about your failing grades.

00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,954

Bebe!

Where Bebe?!

00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,331

Bebe!

00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,041

Fire bad!

- Fire!

00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,419

M'kay, we all have to start

studying more

00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,630

and fighting less, m'kay?

00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:14,797

Bebe!

- Bebe!

00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:17,508

Ah-tah! Ah-tah!

00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,345

Hey, guys.

- Hey!

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,472

Heh.

- Hmm.

00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,896

Have you guys noticed that Bebe

isn't as cool as she used to be?

00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,857

Yeah, what the hell

happened to us?

00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,068

Oh, my God.

I get it now.

00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,736

It was Bebe's boobs!

00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,154

Bebe's boobs?

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,906

Oh, cool!

It worked!

00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,617

Don't you guys see? Boobs

do something to our brains.

00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,619

They fill our brains

with illusions.

00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,247

So...Bebe didn't become

smart and cool?

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,916

It was just her boobs?

- Yes!

00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:53,253

So Bebe is actually just

as lame as she ever was?

00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,797

Right! My boobs just

clouded your judgment.

00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,298

But that sucks.

I don't want something

00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,925

to have that much power over me.

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,469

I don't think it will, you guys,

as long as we realize it.

00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,471

We must learn to control

their power over us.

00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,265

Yeah, screw boobs!

They're stupid!

00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,933

I'm sorry for fighting,

you guys.

00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,351

I'm sorry.

00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,770

I'm sorry, guys.

- Dude, I'm sorry, too.

00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,730

Aww, that's so sweet.

00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,941

Let's never let boobs

come between us again!

00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,901

- Hear, hear!

- Boobs are stupid!

00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,654

Hi, everybody!

00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,953

Look at those ridiculous things!

00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:29,998

Ew! They're all hard and oogey!

00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,666

What a stupid bitch!

00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111

♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪

00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071

♪ Timmy, Timmy,

liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪

00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,954

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,831

Oh, hello, boys.

00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,291

Hi.

The school called and said

00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,792

we all have to start

going to class again.

00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,502

Oh, but I thought

your teacher died.

00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,046

She did, but now they're saying

00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:46,547

we have to start going back

to school anyways.

00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,257

It's totally gay.

- Oh, well, I'll tell Eric.

00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,761

He's just down in the basement

playing with his dolls.

00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,305

Cartman likes

to play with dolls?

00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,473

[ Doll squeaking ]

00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,724

Hello, Precious.

00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,684

Yes, that's a good Precious.

00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,400

Now it takes the lotion

from the basket.

00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,778

[ High-pitched voice ] Please,

mister! Let me out of here!

00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:10,362

[ Normal voice ]

It puts the lotion on its skin,

00:01:10,488 --> 00:01:11,947

or else it gets the hose again.

00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,324

[ Barking ]

[ Squeaking ]

00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:15,034

Yes, that's a good Precious.

00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:17,078

Okay, now, it puts the lotion

back in the basket.

00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:19,371

[ High-pitched voice ]

Please, mister, let me out!

00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,707

[ Normal voice ] It puts

the lotion back in the basket.

00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:24,210

[ High-pitched voice ] I miss my

mom, mister! I want to see my...

00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,003

[ Normal voice ] Put the lotion

in the fucking basket!

00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,838

Sweetie?

- Yes, Mom?

00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,633

You have to get ready

for school.

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,384

No, our teacher's dead,

remember?

00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,178

Yes, but they said

two weeks off was enough,

00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,055

and they want everyone back.

00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,473

Two weeks isn't enough.

00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,141

I'm not over our teacher's

tragic death.

00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,351

I'm still sh-shooken up.

00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,602

You'll get over it, honey.

00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,605

But I want to playyyyy!

00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,398

[ School bell rings ]

00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,444

I can't believe it's been two

weeks since I've seen you guys.

00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,779

What have you been doing?

00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,322

Hey, guys!

- Hey, Bebe!

00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,242

You guys, uh, notice

anything different?

00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,827

Oh, my God, Bebe, you got boobs!

00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,703

Yeah, they started

coming in last week.

00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,330

At first I thought they

were just mosquito bites,

00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,748

but then they didn't go away.

00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,126

M'kay, kids.

Let's take our seats, m'kay?

00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:08,254

I know this has been a difficult

couple weeks for you all

00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,297

with the untimely death

of your teacher.

00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,551

But it's time for us to try

to move on and learn, m'kay?

00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:14,718

Mr. Mackey,

I don't think I'm over

00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:16,387

the teacher's tragic death yet.

00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,430

I need more time. It's just --

It still hurts, you know?

00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:21,267

Can I go home?

- No, Eric, what we're gonna do

00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,061

is learn to hide our emotions

with math problems.

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:28,149

M'kay, so, let's start with some

multiplication tables, m'kay?

00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,900

First we'll do 4 times 4...

00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,861

Dude, look at Bebe.

00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,947

Something seems different

about her.

00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,407

Yeah, I noticed that, too.

00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:37,825

Did she get a haircut

or something?

00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,784

I don't know.

00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,414

Hey, Token, you know,

I never really noticed before,

00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,249

but that girl Bebe

is kind of cool.

00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,542

I was just thinking

the same thing.

00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,127

It's like she's a girl,

00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:49,837

but she's someone

you could hang out with.

00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,047

Yeah, Bebe is kind of cool, huh?

00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,051

Hey, Craig,

is that the same shirt

00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:57,553

that that Bebe chick

always wears?

00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,263

I don't know. Why?

00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,725

It just -- It just seems like

a really awesome shirt.

00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,977

Yeah, it kind of does.

00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,067

M'kay, and so, uh --

00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,446

So, who can tell me the answer

to the first problem, 6 times 8?

00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,488

Uh, Bebe?

00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,742

Oh, uh...48?

00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160

[ Boys ]

Whoa!

00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,787

That is an awesome answer!

- [ Boys ] Yeah!

00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,331

Dude, Bebe is really smart.

00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,957

Yeah, I never

noticed that before.

00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,001

Maybe she's actually cool

enough to hang out with us.

00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,294

Yeah, maybe.

00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,046

[ School bell rings ]

00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:34,757

But I was like, "I'm not buying

those shoes for $20."

00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,133

[All giggling ]

00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,052

Uh, hey, Bebe.

- Yeah?

00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,137

Uh, we're gonna go throw

rocks at cars later on,

00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,056

and we thought maybe

you'd like to join us.

00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,849

Really? I've never

done that before.

00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,184

It's really fun!

00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,685

You toss these

little rocks at cars,

00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,437

and if the driver gets angry,

you blame me!

00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,730

Yeah, it's cool!

00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,482

Well, sure,

that sounds hella fun.

00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:52,858

[ Laughter ]

00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,318

Yeah, hella fun!

- She's right!

00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,819

Wow. "Hella" fun.

That's awesome.

00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,238

I'm gonna start saying that now.

00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,364

Cool.

We'll see you later, Bebe.

00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,158

Stan, you've never asked m e

00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,327

to throw rocks at cars

with you guys.

00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:05,454

That's different, dude.

You're, like, my girlfriend.

00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,373

Bebe's just -- I don't know.

She's just cool.

00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,166

Yeah, she's really cool.

00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,168

It's weird how we

never noticed before.

00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,839

So, what you do, see,

is you wait for a car

00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:16,924

to drive by that big pine tree.

00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,384

Then you chuck a rock at it.

00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,426

It's all about the timing.

00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,761

[ Loud bang ]

00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,304

You damn kids!

00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,389

Cool!

00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,932

You try it, Bebe!

- Okay.

00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:25,975

Here comes a sedan!

00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,186

[ Loud bang ]

00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,354

You damn kids!

00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:31,939

[ Group cheering ]

Cool!

00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,315

That was the most perfect throw

00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,234

I've ever seen!

- That was sweet, Bebe!

00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,944

Now, if you just hold

the rock like this --

00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,612

Yeah, here, like, if you put

your thumb on this side --

00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,489

I'm showing her.

00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,032

Yeah, just let me show her real

quick how to put the thumb --

00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:45,369

[Ape-like grunting ]

- [Ape-like grunting ]

00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,830

Anyways, you put a spin on it

by holding it here --

00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,665

Yeah, and then you can actually

hold it like this --

00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,166

[ Grunting ]

00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,584

[ Grunting ]

00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:53,669

[ Grunting ]

00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,337

[All grunting ]

00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,548

Uh, listen, guys, um, it's 5:30.

00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,925

I'm supposed to get home,

so I'll see you later.

00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,262

[ Grunting continues ]

00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:06,640

Wait.

What were we doing again?

00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,933

We were throwing rocks at cars.

00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,184

[All ]

Oh, yeah.

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,853

Here comes an S.U.V.!

00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,229

[ Vehicle approaching ]

00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,064

[ Loud bang ]

You damn kids!

00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,774

[ School bell rings ]

00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,568

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,195

[[ Boys ] Hi, Bebe!

- Hey, everybody.

00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,948

Oh, for Christ's sake.

- M'kay.

00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,743

Kids, yesterday,

I asked you to write a paper

00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,369

to read aloud for the class.

00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,912

Now, who wants to start?

00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,707

M'kay, Clyde.

00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,292

My paper is called

00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:35,627

"Why Bebe

Is the Coolest Person Ever."

00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,212

Hey, that's what I wrote about!

00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,380

Me too!

00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,299

[ Grunting ]

- [ Grunting ]

00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,176

[ Boys grunting ]

00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:45,054

M'kay.

Go ahead, Clyde.

00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,307

"My friend Bebe is really smart.

00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:51,268

She tells funny jokes

and knows a lot about stuff.

00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,812

She's good at almost

everything she tries.

00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,856

She's awesome.

The end."

00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:59,026

[ Light applause ]

00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,861

M'kay. Very nice, Clyde.

00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,364

Uh, Token, why don't you

read your paper?

00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:06,075

"If I Could Be Bebe."

00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,952

"If I was Bebe, I would have

lots of friends

00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,662

because I would be so great.

00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:14,291

I would make people smile

and think wherever I went."

00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,461

M'kay.

Interesting, Token.

00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,506

Uh...who would like to go next?

00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:25,677

Uh, how about someone who didn't

write about how cool Bebe is?

00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,388

[ Boys ]

Oh.

00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,890

M'kay, Bebe.

00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,975

"My Cat, Thumper."

00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,185

[ Boys ]

Wow!

00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,604

"Thumper is gray

with a white spot.

00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,606

Sometimes he likes

to chase his tail."

00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,358

[ Boys laughing ]

00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,485

Chase his tail!

That must be so funny!

00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,028

"Thumper is 12 years old.

00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,030

That's pretty old for a cat.

00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,532

The end."

00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:47,783

[ Boys ]

Wow!

00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,243

God, you know, that's so true,

00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:51,036

because you sometimes

never really think about

00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,496

how old a pet is

until it's gone.

00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081

That's true, huh?

00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,999

Man, that really makes me

reflect on my pets.

00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,919

That's such a great paper.

00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,838

[Applause ]

00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,507

M'kay, Wendy, why don't

we hear your paper?

00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,134

"The New Cold War."

00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,428

Oh, God, here we go again.

Dork alert!

00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,596

[ Boys laughing ]

00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,349

But then the mall closes

at 4:00 or 5:00, so --

00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,059

Have any of you dumb girls

seen Bebe anywhere?

00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,103

No!

- Maybe she's in the lunch line.

00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,855

[ Boys ] Yeah!

00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,106

Can you believe Bebe?

00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,524

She thinks she's so cool

all of a sudden!

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,942

I can't stand her anymore.

00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,527

She's such a slut.

- She's a total slut.

00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,154

You know what I heard?

I heard that she made out

00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,072

with eight different boys

in one minute.

00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,157

I heard

that she lifted her shirt

00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,700

to the boys at the bus stop.

00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,119

I heard that her asshole

is, like, this big around.

00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,370

[All ]

Whoa!

00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,247

Hey, guys.

- Oh, hey, Bebe.

00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,748

[ Coughing ]

Slut. Slut.

00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,293

[ Coughing ] Slut. Slut.

- [ Coughing ] Slut.

00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,420

You guys still want to go

ice-skating after school?

00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:42,838

Oh, no, that's okay, Bebe.

00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,131

You might trip,

and then we'd be sucked

00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,299

into your huge, gaping vagina

00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,050

like ants into a vacuum cleaner.

00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,594

[ Coughing ]

Slut. Slut.

00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,888

[ Coughing ] Slut.

- [ Coughing ] Slut.

00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,347

[ Girls giggling ]

00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,767

[ Sighs ]

00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,193

Bebe, is something the matter?

00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,112

Oh, Mom. It's just...

my girlfriends at school

00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,906

said some really mean things

to me today.

00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,868

They called me a slut

with a huge, gaping vagina.

00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,787

Oh, sweetie,

you're all just growing up.

00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,123

Part of being a woman

is having a friend one day

00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,750

and calling her a slut the next.

00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,084

But am I slutty just because

00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,294

I'm starting to be friends

with guys?

00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,670

I mean, they just like me

00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,130

because they think

I'm smart and cool.

00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,840

I remember,

when I was a little girl,

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,092

the boys didn't think

I was very smart at all.

00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,677

But then one day,

00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,679

they all started thinking

I was really smart.

00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,891

I guess big smarts

just run in our family.

00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,644

Well, if the girls don't want

to be my friends, that's fine.

00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,771

Guys are way cooler anyways.

00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:44,525

You guys wanted me

to meet you here?

00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,110

Yeah, have a seat, Tweek.

We all need to have a talk.

00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,362

Oh, God!

00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,030

All right, guys,

now that we're all here,

00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:52,324

I think we need to have

a difficult conversation.

00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,743

It's obvious that Bebe is,

like, the coolest, smartest,

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,286

most awesome person

we've ever met.

00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,788

True. Yeah.

- True. Yeah.

00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,748

And, you know, we've been

trying to fill the gap

00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,667

with a fourth friend

ever since Kenny died --

00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,127

God rest his soul -- and it

hasn't been an easy process.

00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:05,921

Right.

- Uh-huh.

00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,049

So, even though I think it's

a tough thing to do right now,

00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,176

I think maybe it's best

for everyone if we make room

00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,845

to allow Bebe to be

our new fourth friend.

00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,472

Yeah.

- That would be best.

00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:16,723

Well, I'm glad

you guys all agree.

00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,350

And so, Kyle, I just want to say

00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,227

that it's been really great

and we're gonna miss you.

00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,603

Huh?!

- Kyle?

00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,313

And even though

it didn't quite work out,

00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,856

I'm sure you'll find other

friends down the road, Kyle.

00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,025

Here's a nice watch for you

and some peanuts.

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,486

Me?! Dude, I've been here

since the beginning!

00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,154

And we're really sad

to see you go.

00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,531

Let's give a big round of

applause for Kyle, everybody.

00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:33,740

Hip-hip!

00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,492

Dude, we're not

kicking Kyle out!

00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,035

Pleeease?

00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,078

No!

00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,955

All right, fine!

00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,332

So then I guess we have no

choice but to let you go, Tweek.

00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,209

But we want you to know

that it's been really fun.

00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,586

Here's a watch and some peanuts.

00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:47,296

No way! Tweek's cool!

- Yeah!

00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,923

Well, dumb-asses, how are

we gonna make room for Bebe?

00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,971

Thanks for inviting me to ride

the bus to school with you guys.

00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,055

Sure thing, Bebe.

00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:58,807

That's fine!

That's fine!

00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,519

Fuck you, Kyle,

and fuck you, Stan!

00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,981

Fuck you, Tweek!

00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,358

Bebe, you're still cool.

00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,152

[ School bell rings ]

00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,159

What are you doing?

- We're trying to get Bebe

00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,702

to run for class president!

00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,537

I 'm class president!

00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,205

The vote was last fall!

00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:23,790

Well, yeah. But, Wendy,

you have to admit

00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,667

Bebe's a lot smarter

and more organized than you.

00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,919

Yeah, we need

a leader like Bebe.

00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,964

She can teach us all so much.

- [All ] Uh-huh.

00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,050

She's not smarter

and cooler than everyone!

00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,135

You guys are just drawn

to something else!

00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,013

What?

00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:42,059

God, you guys are so stupid!

00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,311

Stupider than Bebe!

00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,437

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,397

Bebe's cool, huh, fellas?

00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,315

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,192

Sure is.

- Yep.

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,737

I can't wait to watch

"Terrance & Phillip" with Bebe!

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,823

Yeah!

Where are you guys going?

00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,575

We're going to see

our friend Bebe.

00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,952

Bebe is our friend.

Didn't you all get the memo?

00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,454

Bebe is everybody's friend.

00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,164

Yeah, God put Bebe on Earth

00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,916

to enrich everyone's lives.

00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,292

[ Grunting ]

00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,418

[ Grunting ]

00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,504

Timmy! Timmy!

00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,297

All right, I guess we can all

00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,465

watch "Terrance & Phillip"

together.

00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,634

[ Knocking ]

00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,095

Oh, hello, boys.

- Is Bebe home?

00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,930

No, she's with one

of her little friends.

00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,307

But she should be back shortly

if you boys want to wait.

00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,601

Who is she with?

- I believe she's playing "Lambs"

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,311

over at Eric Cartman's house.

00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,979

Cartman's?

00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,940

See, and this is Precious!

00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,817

Precious?

- Bark, bark, bark!

00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,819

Okay, so, then we put

my mom's hand lotion

00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:36,405

in this little basket and lower

it down to Polly Prissy Pants.

00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,115

Uh-huh.

00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,493

Now you say, "It puts

the lotion on its skin,

00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,161

or else it gets the hose again."

00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,080

It...puts the lotion

on its skin,

00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,166

or else it gets the hose again.

- [ Laughs ] Yeah!

00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,043

[ High-pitched voice ] Mister,

please let me out of here!

00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,253

[ Normal voice ]

Now say it again -- louder!

00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,629

It puts the lotion on its skin,

00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,297

or else it gets the hose again.

00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,800

Good! Now -- Now put the lotion

back in the basket.

00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,510

[ High-pitched voice ]

My parents have money, mister!

00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,011

They'll give you

whatever you want! Please!

00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,304

[ Normal voice ]

Now just yell, "put the lotion

00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,556

in the fucking basket!"

00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:03,890

Put the lotion in the basket!

00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,434

Put the lotion

in the fucking basket!

00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,977

Oh, no, Precious!

00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,270

[ High-pitched voice ]

I got your dog, mister!

00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,896

Let me out or I'm gonna kill it!

00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,815

[ Normal voice ] You say,

"Don't you hurt my fucking dog!"

00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,442

Don't you hurt my fucking dog!

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,527

You bitch!

I'll cut your throat!

00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,028

What the hell are you doing?

00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,072

We're playing "Lambs."

00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,323

Bebe, I thought we were gonna

00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,783

watch "Terrance & Phillip"

today.

00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,076

Yeah, and then we got to

work on your campaign!

00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,286

Right, but first

we have to go to --

00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,788

[ Boys grunting ]

00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,081

You guys, calm down!

00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,667

[ Grunting continues ]

00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,213

Timmy! Timmy!

00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:40,469

This is insane!

Stop it, you guys! Please!

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,515

Ow!

00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,401

Oh, boy, I never meant

to cause all this trouble.

00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,153

[ Grunting loudly ]

00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,071

Aaaaah!

00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,078

Bebe, those boys

from your school

00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,664

are still waiting outside

to see if you'll come out.

00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:10,665

I know.

00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,292

They've been there all day.

00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,680

[ Grunting ]

00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:26,932

[ Grunting ]

00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,975

[All grunting ]

00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,855

[ Grunting ]

00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:39,861

Looks like my little girl

has a lot of gentlemen callers.

00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,656

Mom, why is everyone acting

so different around me?

00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,200

Sweetie, you're just blossoming

into a woman.

00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,202

But I don't know if I want to.

00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,579

Sometimes I think I'm not

as smart and cool as they say.

00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,748

That everyone just tells me I am

because of my hooters.

00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,333

Sweetie, you're a Stevens.

00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,126

And Stevens women

are always told

00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,671

they're really, really smart.

00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,549

Mom, what's 6 times 8?

00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,925

Oh, sweetie.

00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,845

Those are two completely

different numbers.

00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,392

[ Frightened grunts ]

00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,061

All right, boys,

time to be getting home.

00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,772

Bebe's not feeling well,

and she can't come out today.

00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,315

Go on! Shoo!

00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,943

[All grunting ]

00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,702

Oh, whew!

We made it!

00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,662

Boys, can you call 911 for us?

00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:34,040

[All grunting ]

00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,876

Oh, my God!

We've landed on Earth

00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:36,960

thousands of years

in the future,

00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,336

and apes have taken over!

00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,046

I knew it!

You blew it up, didn't you?!

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:43,091

I don't want to live

in this futuristic madness!

00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,719

Take your ape world

and go to hell!

00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,890

Having boobs sucks.

00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,393

Well, hello, there, little girl.

00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,728

My name is Dr. Hallis.

00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,229

What can I do for you today?

00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,524

I want to have

breast-reduction surgery.

00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,613

You?

- Yes.

00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,033

I have $212 in nickels

and a gold bracelet.

00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,493

Well, young lady, I'm afraid

that we don't offer

00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,163

breast-reduction surgery

to girls of your age.

00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,874

Why not? Britney Spears got fake

ones when she was a teenager.

00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,626

Why can't I have mine taken off?

00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,002

Because making breasts larger

00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,629

is a beautiful

and wonderful thing.

00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,214

Making them smaller is...insane.

00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,133

I think it's insane

to want them bigger!

00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,719

Why do you hate your breasts so?

00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:28,970

Ever since I got

these stupid things,

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,430

everyone treats me differently.

00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:31,723

I feel like

I might be treated differently

00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:32,974

the rest of my life.

00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,976

Oh, come on, now.

That's just silly.

00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,603

Here's the Anderson file,

Doctor.

00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,063

Oh, awesome!

00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,065

Thank you so much, Jillian.

That's great.

00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,567

Oh, God damn.

Thank you so much.

00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,071

And here's the coffee

you wanted, Doctor.

00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,697

Yeah, whatever.

Get out of here.

00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,325

Now, I was saying?

00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,910

Please, you have to help me!

00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,828

I think that if my breasts

keep growing this way,

00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,580

boys will give me

whatever I want.

00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,207

Yeah, so,

that's great, isn't it?

00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,042

No, it's not!

Because if I grow up

00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,835

getting everything I want and

having things made easy for me

00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,295

because I have hot knockers,

00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,130

then I'm gonna grow up

to be a lame person.

00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:05,465

If I'm handed

everything in life,

00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,675

then my chances

of becoming a lawyer

00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,593

or a marine biologist are zero!

00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,512

That may be true,

but I'm afraid I just cannot

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,722

ethically perform

a breast-reduction surgery

00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,766

on an 8-year-old girl.

- Damn it!

00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,393

If, on the other hand,

you'd like

00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:17,894

to make them a little bigger,

I think now might be

00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,229

the right time to size up, mmm?

00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,981

Oh, fuck off!

00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,693

Randy, could you have

a talk with Stanley?

00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,111

Why?

What's the matter with him?

00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,445

It's just that -- Well...

00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,781

he's been acting a little

different lately.

00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,491

Ah-tah!

00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,035

Ah-tah!

00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,955

He's been ignoring his homework

and all of his friends.

00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,289

I can't figure out why.

00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,208

STAN: Ah-tah.

00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,544

Ah-tah!

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,463

Oh, boy. It looks like he's

starting to notice breasts.

00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,048

Oh, yes.

00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,217

Our little Stanley

is starting to become a man.

00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,844

Ah-tah!

00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,303

Ahh...ah-tah!

00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:53,555

Hey, there, Son.

00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,931

Huh?

00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,474

Ah-tah. Ah-tah.

00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,602

Yes, ah-tah.

Let's have a talk, Stan.

00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,521

Tah...

00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:05,400

Stan, as you get older,

boobs -- these ah-tah --

00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,028

will start becoming

a major part of your life.

00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,155

Ah-tah?

- But, Stanley,

00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,323

you can't let them get

in the way of your friends.

00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,200

There are lots of boobs

out there, son.

00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:17,245

But they're just boobs.

Your friends are forever.

00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,914

Friends...ah-tah.

00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,375

I know you think this set

of boobs is important now,

00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,919

but those boobs will be replaced

by another set of boobs.

00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,504

Boobs will come and go.

00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,590

And then, someday,

you'll meet a pair of boobs

00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,175

that you want to marry,

00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,302

and those become the boobs

that matter the most.

00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,678

I love you.

00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,097

If you can just

understand that, Stanley,

00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,267

you'll see that boobs

hold no re a I power at all.

00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,603

[ Ominous music plays ]

00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:50,320

[ Right breast ] The boys are at war.

00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,447

All is going as planned.

- [ Left breast ] Yes.

00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,866

Soon all the boys

will be brought to their knees.

00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,534

We grow larger every day...

00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,744

And stronger.

00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:58,995

BREAST #1:

Soon, the entire town --

00:17:59,120 --> 00:17:59,996

Shh! Shh!

She's awake!

00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:00,997

Oh, quiet!

00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,583

[ Screams ] Mom! Mom!

00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,919

What is it, Bebe?

- My breasts!

00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,379

Oh, sweetheart, you're

just becoming a young lady.

00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,090

No, they're conspiring!

00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,926

Mom, they were talking.

They want to destroy the town!

00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,886

Yes, darling,

your breasts have a power

00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,013

that will unleash itself

as you get older.

00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,681

They feed off the misery of boys

00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,725

and grow to bring woe

wherever they can.

00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,019

You're blossoming into a woman.

00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,521

That does it!

00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,273

I'm not letting these things

run my life!

00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,696

Young lady,

are you absolutely sure

00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:37,200

you want to consider this kind

of procedure for your breasts?

00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,328

Yes, I want to get

breast implants.

00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,080

I tried to tell her

she was too young.

00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:44,582

Well, it is a different time,

Mrs. Testaberger.

00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,959

Society puts a lot of pressure

00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,585

on your daughter

to look her best.

00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,255

Having small breasts

can make her feel unimportant.

00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,258

But she's 8!

00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,052

Yes, well, not too young to feel

flat and, therefore, not pretty.

00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,388

That's what I said.

- However, young lady,

00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,807

I'm afraid breast implants

are not for everyone.

00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,392

I'll need to carefully assess

00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,561

your physical and mental

condition to see if augmentation

00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,604

is truly the best way

for you to go.

00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,356

I have $3,000 cash.

00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,649

You pass.

Let's do this thing.

00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,359

Oh, wait! You're gonna

do it right now?

00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,404

Sure, breast augmentation

is now a very simple procedure.

00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,698

What we do is make a small

incision in the armpit,

00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,032

where it won't be seen.

00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,742

Then we take

this little plastic bag

00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,411

and gently place it

in the chest,

00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,079

where we fill it

with salt water.

00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,081

I still don't know about this.

00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,834

Look, us plastic surgeons

have one philosophy --

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,128

If we can help someone's

self-esteem a little,

00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:33,381

then why not do it

if they have $3,000?

00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,550

[ Monitor beeping ]

00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,309

[ Grunts ]

Got to...jam it!

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,393

Oh, there.

00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,438

Get...in...there...you bitch!

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:52,025

Get...in...there...you bitch!

00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:56,196

Ah. Okay, there's one, Wendy.

Doing great.

00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,947

[ School bell rings ]

00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:01,910

M'kay, kids, we need to

talk about your failing grades.

00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,954

Bebe!

Where Bebe?!

00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,331

[ Boys ]

Bebe!

00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,041

Fire bad!

- Fire!

00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:11,419

M'kay, we all have to start

studying more

00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,630

and fighting less, m'kay?

00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:14,797

Bebe!

- Bebe!

00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:17,508

[All grunting ]

Ah-tah! Ah-tah!

00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,345

Hey, guys.

- Hey!

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,472

Heh.

- Hmm.

00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,896

Have you guys noticed that Bebe

isn't as cool as she used to be?

00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,857

Yeah, what the hell

happened to us?

00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,068

Oh, my God.

I get it now.

00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,736

It was Bebe's boobs!

00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,154

Bebe's boobs?

00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,906

Oh, cool!

It worked!

00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,617

Don't you guys see? Boobs

do something to our brains.

00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,619

They fill our brains

with illusions.

00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,247

So...Bebe didn't become

smart and cool?

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,916

It was just her boobs?

- Yes!

00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:53,253

So Bebe is actually just

as lame as she ever was?

00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,797

Right! My boobs just

clouded your judgment.

00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,298

But that sucks.

I don't want something

00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,925

to have that much power over me.

00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,469

I don't think it will, you guys,

as long as we realize it.

00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,471

We must learn to control

their power over us.

00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,265

Yeah, screw boobs!

They're stupid!

00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,933

I'm sorry for fighting,

you guys.

00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,351

I'm sorry.

00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,770

I'm sorry, guys.

- Dude, I'm sorry, too.

00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,730

Aww, that's so sweet.

00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,941

Let's never let boobs

come between us again!

00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,901

- [All ] Hear, hear!

- Boobs are stupid!

00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,654

Hi, everybody!

00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,367

[ Hysterical laughter ]

00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:26,953

Look at those ridiculous things!

00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:29,998

Ew! They're all hard and oogey!

00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,666

What a stupid bitch!

00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,710

[ Hysterical laughter ]

00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,086

[ Laughs ]