Это уже было в „Симпсонах“

00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111

♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪

00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071

♪ Timmy, Timmy,

liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪

00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,872

Okay, now,

put on the nose, Tweek.

00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,001

I can't! You do it!

- Just stick it on!

00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,753

But what if I put it

in the wrong place?

00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,254

Just put it between its eyes.

00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,881

Aah! But what if,

while I'm putting on the nose,

00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,091

the snowman comes to life

and tries to kill me?

00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,468

Tweek, when has

that ever happened,

00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,428

except for that one time?

- Yeah!

00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,263

Hey, fellas!

- Oh, hey, Butters.

00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,265

How are things going

with your new best friend?

00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,600

Well, Tweek's okay.

00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,185

But he's certainly no Kenny!

- Aah!

00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,644

Yeah, but he's still

better than you, Butters.

00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,229

Yeah.

- Well, that's good.

00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,731

Good luck

being their new friend, Tweek.

00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:04,774

Hopefully, you'll do better

than me.

00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,484

See ya, fellas.

00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,111

Oh, man!

That is way too much pressure!

00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,405

You guys! You guys!

You're not gonna believe it!

00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,740

Uh-oh.

00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,325

Everything's gonna

be okay, you guys!

00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,077

Life isn't so crappy after all!

00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,536

It's not?!

- No!

00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,080

I was looking in this magazine,

00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,790

and I found an ad

for little ocean creatures

00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,042

that you can buy

and raise in your room!

00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,126

No way.

00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,127

Look!

00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,587

"Sea-People."

00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,422

You keep them

in a big tank of water,

00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,966

and they, like, build castles

and play basketball and stuff.

00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,343

Nuh-unh.

- Yeah!

00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:33,844

And look, they ride around

on turtles,

00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,096

and they play games with fish!

00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,014

No way.

00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,808

Okay, Kyle, you're being

a Negative Nancy.

00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,309

Stop it, okay,

unless you want everyone

00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019

to call you Negative Nancy

from now on.

00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,021

Now, what we need

is to all chip in $4,

00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,773

and we can

have them here tomorrow.

00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,777

Only $16? They can't be cool

if they're only $16.

00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,574

If Nancy

doesn't want to chip in,

00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243

then it will be

$5.35 per person.

00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,577

All right, I'll chip in.

00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,746

Aah! Me too!

- All right.

00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,792

Butters, don't forget

dinner is in two hours!

00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,087

Okay, Mom. I'm just gonna be

up here doing my homework.

00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,967

Yes, by day, he's mild-mannered,

sweet, and innocent Butters.

00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,468

But...

00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,596

nobody knows he actually

has a dark underside...

00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,348

Professor Chaos!

00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,476

Ha ha! Time to wreak havoc

on the world that shunned me!

00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,694

Professor Chaos!

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,863

Ah, my faithful companion

in world destruction,

00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948

General Disarray.

- I have done as you asked

00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,741

and brought the first load

of scrap wood.

00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243

Excellent, General Disarray.

00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,120

Now we can begin my most

horrible, evil plan yet

00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705

to wreak havoc on humanity.

00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,748

What dastardly deed

are we doing now?

00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,876

Simple, my dear general.

00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,003

We are going to

block out the sun!

00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,296

Whoa!

- Ah, yes!

00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,797

I have plotted for weeks

00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,133

and figured that if we

build a huge wooden shade

00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,386

80 feet high and 50 feet wide

precisely on this hill,

00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,763

South Park will forever

be cast in a great shadow!

00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,223

Oh, awesome!

00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,517

Soon, all people will

have to live like moles!

00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,144

They will live only

to remember with sorrow

00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,647

how great the sun used to be!

00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,192

Cool, it'll be just like

on "The Simpsons."

00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,694

Huh?

- They did that

00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:14,987

on "The Simpsons."

00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,322

I think it was

the Mr. Burns character.

00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,865

He tried to block

Springfield from the sun.

00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,742

He did?

Aw, heck!

00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160

I thought I was being original.

00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,328

So, how do we build it?

00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,205

Aw, I don't want to do it now,

00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,956

not if they already did it

on "The Simpsons."

00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,750

I gotta think of something else.

00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,920

God damn it, how come every time

I think of something clever,

00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,338

"The Simpsons" already did it?

00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674

Sea-People...

00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,386

coming in the mail tomorrow.

00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,223

Yes...yes!

00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,272

♪ Look at me, I'm livin' free ♪

00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,900

♪ Free and clean

amongst the Sea-People ♪

00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,402

♪ We look for pirates

and search for gold ♪

00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,113

♪ Life is an adventure

with the Sea-People ♪

00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,032

♪ They don't ever complain,

they don't call me fat ♪

00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,077

♪ They don't make me do homework

or nothin' like that ♪

00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,621

♪ This is the way

life was meant to be ♪

00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,084

♪ Laughin' and singin',

Sea-People and me ♪

00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,587

♪ Sea-People and me, you guys ♪

00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,175

Wow.

00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302

Only three more hours,

Sea-People --

00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,096

Only three more hours,

and you can take me away

00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,015

from this crappy Goddamn planet

full of hippies.

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,395

Okay, I've added

the water purifier tablet

00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,313

to the Sea-People kingdom tank.

00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649

Now it says, "Step two...

00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,734

Add the Sea-People eggs

to the water.

00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654

You will see sea life

spring instantly."

00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,323

Okay, let's just run through

this one more time.

00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,741

When the Sea-People arrive,

I will welcome them

00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,326

to South Park

as ambassador of Earth.

00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,287

Tweek, you give them

the key to the city,

00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,122

and we'll all engage them

in simple conversation.

00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,666

We've got to make Sea-People

feel comfortable, okay? Ready?

00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,001

Ready. Let's see 'em.

00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,837

Hold the sign up, Kyle!

00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,006

Higher, Kyle!

00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,300

Okay.

00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,218

Here we go.

00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,193

Are they playing basketball?

00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,122

What the fuck is this?!

00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,458

Hey, these are brine shrimp.

I used to feed them to my fish.

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,294

I got ripped off!

- I told you, Cartman.

00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,921

Oh, shut up, Kyle!

Shut your Goddamn Jew mouth!

00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,049

You people are why there's

war in the Middle East!

00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,383

And you, Tweek,

why don't you learn

00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,010

to button your shirt right

for once?!

00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,345

You're as bad as Stan

with his stupid girlfriend,

00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,554

always spending time with her!

00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097

God, I hate you guys!

00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,390

They were supposed

to take me away

00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,142

to their underwater kingdom.

00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,643

They were supposed to take me

on adventures of the deep!

00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,479

They package brine shrimp

and sell them to kids?

00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,772

That's not right, man!

00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:55,981

What are we gonna do with them?

00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,483

Who cares?!

Throw 'em away!

00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,068

Hey, let's pour them

in the teacher's coffee

00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,195

tomorrow morning.

- Yeah, that'd be funny!

00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,696

Heh heh, okay!

00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623

All right, listen to me.

00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,541

We must take

a strict vow of silence.

00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,168

Jesus Christ!

We killed her!

00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,087

Shh! Tweek!

Shut the hell up!

00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,134

General Disarray,

are your parents home?

00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,969

No.

- I've done it, General Disarray!

00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,554

I've completed my

most horrible deed to date!

00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264

What?

- You know that big statue

00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,266

in the town square

of pioneer John Wesley Powell?

00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,684

I snuck over there

with a hacksaw,

00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,019

and I cut off his head!

00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,270

Yeah!

00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,939

Oh...uh...

00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,191

They're probably

just realizing it now!

00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,526

Quick!

We must turn on the news!

00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,111

But Hillary Clinton's ass

00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,529

just keeps getting bigger.

00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,072

Also in the news tonight,

00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,074

a vandal has apparently

cut off and stolen

00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,785

the head of the Powell statue

in the South Park town square.

00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,996

Look! Look! I made the news!

I've wreaked havoc!

00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,706

The head was taken

in the early morning hours,

00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,375

and the police have no leads.

00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,127

I finally made the world sorry!

00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,629

I brought sadness and chaos!

00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,631

This act, of course,

reminded us all of the time

00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,050

that Bart Simpson took the head

of the Springfield statue

00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,802

in one of their

classic episodes.

00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,512

Here's what some people

had to say.

00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,305

"Well, I think whoever

took the head

00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,099

was really just doing

an homage to 'The Simpsons. '

00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,517

I think it's great!"

00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,810

"Yes, it really made me reflect

00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437

on that episode and laugh."

00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272

"Well, 'The Simpsons'

is such a great show,

00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,566

and we need reminders like this

to keep us watching."

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111

Aw...oh, son of a bitch.

00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,113

The police say that instead of

looking for the missing head,

00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,781

they'd rather leave it off

00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,658

and be reminded of

'The Simpsons' every day.

00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,035

Why didn't you tell me

"The Simpsons" already did that?

00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,329

You seemed so proud.

I didn't want to bum you out.

00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,748

Stupid "Simpsons."

00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,377

Hello, there, Phillip!

I brought you something!

00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,712

Ooh, what is it?

00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,715

See? We're just watching

cartoons, like always.

00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,800

Nothing's changed.

- Jesus Christ! She's dead!

00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,303

Stop it, Tweek! We're pretending

like nothing happened.

00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,888

Phillip, I think

I may have accidentally

00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,556

killed Celine Dion!

00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,057

Killing is never an accident,

00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,058

you dick face!

00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,145

Oh, Jesus.

Change the channel!

00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,313

And, in other news,

00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,023

still no cause of death found

00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,692

for elementary schoolteacher

Diane Choksondik.

00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,195

However, doctors say

that during the autopsy,

00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,156

they did find semen

in her stomach.

00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,866

They found the sea men!

00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,076

It's only a matter of time

before they find the women, too!

00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,745

The autopsy is ongoing,

00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,830

and cause of death

has yet to be determined.

00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,081

Oh, God!

- We're dead!

00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500

Oh, Jesus!

That's it, man!

00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,084

I want nothing more

to do with you guys!

00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,544

Tweek, where are you going?!

00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,962

They're gonna find you out,

and when they do,

00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,297

I don't want to be

within 50 feet of you!

00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,090

You're gonna fry, man!

- Hey, Tweek,

00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,383

you're in this

just as much as we are!

00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,801

What?!

I told you not to put

00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,053

the Sea-People in her coffee!

00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,221

I wasn't even there

when you did it!

00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,430

Yeah, but you're our new friend,

00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,224

and that makes you co-pee-able.

00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892

In fact, it makes you

the most responsible.

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,560

Tweek, you might have to

take the fall on this one.

00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,937

Aah!

00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,611

Oh, well,

hello, there, children!

00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,154

Chef, we did

something kind of bad.

00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,948

We don't know

who else to talk to.

00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,492

Oh, I'm sure your little cracker

problems ain't all that bad.

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,077

Come on in.

00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,870

Now, just sit down

and take a deep breath,

00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,914

and tell ol' Chef

what's going on.

00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,250

We need you to promise

not to tell anybody.

00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,961

Now, children,

every problem can be worked out.

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,587

What was it?

00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,047

We killed our teacher,

00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,550

and they found

our sea men in her stomach.

00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,969

Oh, children, that's a problem

we all have to face

00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,804

one time or another.

00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765

Here, let me sing you a little

song that might cheer you up.

00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725

♪ Sometimes you

kill your teacher ♪

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,936

♪ And they find your semen

in her stomach and the -- ♪

00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,437

Wait! What the -- What?!

00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,856

So, what should we do?

00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,287

Wow, I guess this

really is a big deal.

00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,955

We've only got

one option, you guys.

00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,039

We're gonna have to go

to that hospital

00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,374

where they're doing the autopsy

00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,500

and get our sea men

back ourselves.

00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,210

Aah!

00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,587

I pulled out my hair!

00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,338

Okay.

How about this, Dougie?

00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,674

I'm going to pose

as a real-estate agent

00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,594

and con everyone in town

into buying a monorail,

00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,554

and then skip town

with all their money!

00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,724

No?

- "Simpsons" did it.

00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892

They did it in episode 204.

00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853

Okay, then I'm gonna

start a website

00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,355

to spread vicious rumors

about everyone in town!

00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691

And then, I'll take --

- "Simpsons" did it.

00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,443

I'll bury a skeleton

wearing angel wings

00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,570

so that the townspeople will

think a fallen angel has --

00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,988

"Simpsons" did it!

00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,909

This is it.

- All right.

00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,953

Everyone scatter

and look for the sea men.

00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,622

Tweek, stay by the door

and keep a lookout.

00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,332

If you see anybody coming,

say the code word...

00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,125

"Hammertime".

- Hammertime?!

00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419

Can't the code word

just be "look out"?

00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,879

I won't remember "Hammertime"!

00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,547

Just remember the song

"Can't Touch This,"

00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,007

and you'll remember

the code word.

00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,759

Yeah, stupid.

- Oh, God!

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,016

There's nothing here.

00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,226

Dude, it's probably

still in her stomach.

00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,272

Is it her?

00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,231

Yeah, it's Ms. Choksondik,

all right.

00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,067

What do we do now?

00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,777

Just reach in there and get

the sea men out of her stomach.

00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,696

Oh, God, you guys

are such pussies.

00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,907

Huh.

00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,408

Aah!

00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,951

You guys!

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,036

Ham...Hammer...

00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246

I can't remember the code word!

00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,333

- Can you see the Sea-People?

- No, just a bunch of goo.

00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,210

You guys! Uh...

00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,170

♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,

dun-dun, can't touch this ♪

00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,838

♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,

dun-dun, can't touch this ♪

00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,674

- Ms. Choksondik stinks inside.

- Yeah.

00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,258

♪ Dun-dun, dun-dun,

can't touch this ♪

00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,259

♪ Dun dun-dun-dun,

dun-dun, dun-dun ♪

00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,969

Stop. Hammertime!

00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,721

Aah!

- Quick, hide!

00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,686

Yeah, well, at least

we got Shannon Sharpe back.

00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,193

All right, let's just leave the

semen sample next to the corpse.

00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,404

I want to run

a hair fiber test next.

00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,698

Hey, do you smell children?

00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616

No, that's not...

00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,286

Got it!

- Let's go!

00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,249

Blagh! Ugh!

00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,209

Uhh!

00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,254

Bring the World Cup

to South Park

00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,131

so that a huge soccer riot

can destroy --

00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,258

"Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,926

Take all the beer cans

in South Park

00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,636

and have them shaken up

in a huge mixer

00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,221

at the paint store,

so that they --

00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,015

Episode 9F17, entitled

"So It's Come to This."

00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,644

Fine! Then maybe I'll just

forget about destroying the town

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,605

and just run away

and join the circus!

00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,858

"Simpsons" did it.

- Aah!

00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,115

There, we just put

the Sea-People

00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,450

back in the tank

with the others,

00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,909

and nobody will ever know.

00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,619

The blood is washed

neatly from our hands.

00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,246

All right, children,

00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540

I got you 4 tickets

to Thailand and $300 cash.

00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,459

It's gonna be

tough living for a while.

00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,002

You might have to do

some things for money

00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,503

you never thought

of doing before.

00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,713

It's all right, Chef,

we got our Sea-People

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,089

out of the teacher's stomach,

00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,466

and we put them back

in their aquarium.

00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,178

Wait, what?

"Sea-People"?

00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,096

The Sea-People that we put

in the teacher's coffee!

00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,140

Uh, maybe you better

start from the beginning.

00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,310

...and then we put them

back in the tank.

00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,645

Oh, children, you misunderstood!

00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,190

Sea-People is

different from se-men!

00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,858

It is?

- Yes!

00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,943

That stuff that was in that vial

didn't come from you.

00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487

It came from someone else!

00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,655

I thought you children

took turns raping

00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,825

and then murdered the teacher.

00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,994

If they found somebody

else's sea men in her stomach,

00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,662

maybe they'll find

our Sea-People, too!

00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,122

Relax, children!

00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,707

Drinking some brine shrimp

can't kill you.

00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,043

Your teacher must have died

from something else.

00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,211

Oh, really?

00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,589

Aah! I'm so relieved! Aaah!

00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,591

All right, you children

have had a long night.

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,343

Why don't we all get some rest?

00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,012

And on Monday, I'll sing you

a song explaining the difference

00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,597

between semen and Sea-People.

00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,682

Come on, children,

I'll walk you all home.

00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,017

Okay, good night, Cartman.

00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,101

Night, guys.

00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,937

I'm so glad we're not murderers.

00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,565

Ah, it's so great

00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,318

that everything

is finally back to normal.

00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,210

You guys! Come quick!

00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,628

You won't believe it!

00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,089

Oh, no. What now?

00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,132

Those sea men

from the teacher's stomach

00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,926

somehow combined with

the remaining Sea-People

00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,054

we had left in the tank,

and -- Well, look!

00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,224

Whoa!

00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,105

How?

How did that happen?

00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,940

I've been up for hours

doing some calculations,

00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,610

and I've come up with my final

theory of composite dynamics.

00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,821

Sea-People plus sea men

equals...

00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031

SeaCiety.

- Whoa.

00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,324

They've already accomplished

so much.

00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,617

They're like bacteria!

00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,119

Small organisms live

much faster lives

00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,787

and do things

at a much faster rate.

00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,497

That's right, Tweek,

and if my theory is correct,

00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,457

all we need is to get more

of the two reacting agents,

00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,542

and we can really

see them thrive.

00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,960

Tweek!

- Aah!

00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:37,961

You go and send away

for more Sea-People

00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,421

from the magazine ad.

00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,881

Get at least five gallons

of them here, stat!

00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,299

Stan and Kyle, you go find

a bigger fishtank

00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,466

to put them all in!

00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,385

What are you gonna do?

- Me?

00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,471

I'm gonna go out on the town

and find 10 gallons of sea men.

00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,641

I have done it,

General Disarray.

00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,269

I've watched all 132 episodes

of "The Simpsons" -- twice --

00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,062

and I have finally

come up with something

00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,439

that they have never done.

00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608

Behold!

This device that I made

00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,277

will take the cherries out

of chocolate-covered cherries

00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,697

and replace the inside instead

with two-month-old mayonnaise.

00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,490

People will think that they

are gonna get a bite

00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,992

of a sweet, delicious cherry,

00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,785

but instead,

they'll get a mouthful

00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,662

of yucky, sticky mayonnaise!

00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,626

You've never seen this

on "The Simpsons," right?

00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,211

No, I think "The Simpsons"

would be more clever than that.

00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,797

Good! Then let us take

my machine outside

00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,593

and make society

finally pay for shunning us.

00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,386

Tonight on "The Simpsons, "

00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,139

it's a laugh-a-rama

when Bart builds a machine

00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642

that takes the cherries out

of chocolate-covered cherries

00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,561

and replaces it instead

with mayonnaise.

00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,147

No. No, no! It can't be!

00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,733

Uh-oh, "Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,568

No! No!

00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,612

"Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,863

Aah!

00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,156

Don't have a cow, man.

00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,783

Oh, sweet Jesus!

00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,751

Can I help you?

- Yes, my mommy told me

00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503

this is where I could find

some sea men.

00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,214

Your mom told you?

- Do you have them or not?

00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,467

We sell semen, yes,

but not normally to children.

00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,803

What's your name?

- Frances Bellman.

00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,179

Frances, let's talk.

I don't want a bunch

00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,681

of bull crap from you.

00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:13,974

You don't want a bunch

of bull crap from me.

00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,308

Right? Where does that

get us? Nowhere.

00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,893

The truth is,

I'm completely certified

00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,728

to handle sea men.

And though I may appear young,

00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,146

I'm one of the leading sea men

authorities of the Midwest --

00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,147

Up-and-comer.

You know what I'm saying?

00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,524

Have my own business soon,

00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,109

and I'll need people

to help me run it.

00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,568

I'm talking about you, Frances,

and I'm talking

00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,237

about a six-figure income --

How's that sound?

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,241

Everything we supply here

is by a quarter-ounce,

00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,493

one donor, certified,

on record.

00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,869

I see, very interesting.

00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,332

- What are you doing?

- Let's take a look here.

00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,128

Seems like quality stuff

you got here, Frances.

00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,005

Yeah, good texture,

nice consistency.

00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,506

Sea men must be alive

and healthy in there.

00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134

I'll take five.

- Five? Vials?

00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,511

No, gallons.

- We don't have that much here.

00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,514

Damn it!

Give me all you got then!

00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,600

Aah!

00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,060

Aaah!

00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,687

No! No!

00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,481

"Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,988

Aah!

00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,242

Hey, let me on!

Let me on!

00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536

Sit down and shut up!

00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,371

Aah!

00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,291

Butters, have you seen Mr. Hat?

00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,334

Hello, there, children!

00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,963

Aah! Nooo!

00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,924

What the hell's wrong with him?

00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:33,428

Look, the Sea-People

have evolved

00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,846

to an Egyptian-like culture!

00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,848

Soon they'll discover

frozen foods! Aah!

00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,308

That should be enough water,

Kyle.

00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,768

You got the new

Sea-People packets, Tweek?

00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,269

Aah!

- Well, drop 'em in!

00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,772

And I've got the sea men.

00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,607

Wow, that's a lot of sea men

you got there, Cartman.

00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,400

Yeah, I bought all

that I could at this bank,

00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,319

and then I got the rest from

this guy, Ralph, in an alley.

00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,237

That's cool.

- Yeah, and the sweet thing is,

00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,573

the stupid asshole didn't even

charge me money for it!

00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,825

He just made me close my eyes

and suck it out of a hose.

00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,661

Heh! There we go.

00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,498

Okay, now let's put

the SeaCiety in its new home.

00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,088

Nothing to do now but wait.

00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,549

Close your eyes

and suck it out of a hose?

00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,801

Uh-huh, suck it out

of a hose, yeah.

00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:13,760

Huh.

- Huh.

00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,647

Oh, my God!

00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,148

Their tiny

underwater civilization

00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,734

has advanced hundreds of years!

00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,696

Look! There's a library

and a temple and a...

00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,868

Oh...they think I'm God.

00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,078

Yes!

00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,455

I am god of the Sea-People!

00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,873

You hear that?!

00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,544

I am god of the Sea-People!

00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:51,047

I am master of their

great sunken empire!

00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,175

Mom!

I'm god of the Sea-People!

00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,428

That's nice, poopie.

00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,851

And in other South Park news,

00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436

elementary schoolteacher

Ms. Choksondik's autopsy

00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,021

has shown that

the semen in her stomach

00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,274

belonged to school counselor

Mr. Mackey.

00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,692

However, the semen apparently

00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,443

did not contribute

to the death,

00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,779

and so Mr. Mackey's identity

is to remain anonymous.

00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,114

Hey, Butters!

- Hey, Butters!

00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,949

Aah!

- Hey, what are you doing, man?

00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,325

Cartman said he has something

really cool to show everybody.

00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,910

You got to come.

- Cartman?

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,204

Ha ha!

00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,543

Behold!

You all see my tiny minions

00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,003

groveling at my likeness!

00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,213

I am Eric Cartman, God.

00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,840

Hey! We paid for

the Sea-People, too.

00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,675

How come they're not

making statues of us?

00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,469

Be ye not jealous, Jew.

I am creator of all things, yea.

00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,096

That is very impressive, Eric.

00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,265

What do you intend to do

with your underwater society?

00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,892

I'm gonna send a message

to my people

00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,685

and tell them to

develop a great machine

00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,353

that will shrink me

down to their size

00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,189

so I can

live amongst them forever!

00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,357

Aha!

Aha-hah!

00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,567

A-hah-hah-hah-hah!

00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,653

What the hell is wrong

with you, Butters?

00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,156

They did that on

"The Simpsons"! Ha!

00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,909

"Treehouse of Horror,"

episode 4F02, "The Genesis Tub"!

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411

Lisa loses a tooth,

and the bacteria on it

00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,121

starts to grow

and makes a little society,

00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,081

and they build a statue of her,

thinking she's God!

00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,958

Ha! Ha-ha-ha!

00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,545

So?

- Yeah, so?

00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,547

Dude, "The Simpsons" has done

everything already. Who cares?

00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,341

Yeah, dude. They've been on

the air for like 13 years.

00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,634

Of course

they've done everything.

00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,927

Every idea has

been done, Butters,

00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,345

even before "The Simpsons."

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,764

Yeah -- In fact,

that episode was a rip-off

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,599

of a "Twilight Zone" episode.

00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,727

Really? So I shouldn't care

if I come up with an idea

00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,187

and "The Simpsons"

already did it.

00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,607

It...doesn't matter.

00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,735

Everything is back to normal!

00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,362

I think -- I think I can go back

00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,239

to trying to destroy

the world again!

00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,366

Good for you!

- Yeah, that's great, Butters.

00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,408

Now get the hell

out of my room.

00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,993

I feel like a spring chicken!

00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,745

I'm ready to wreak havoc

once again!

00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,538

Hey, look, everybody!

00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,666

The other side of the aquarium

is building another statue!

00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,796

Hey, it's Tweek!

00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,589

Me?! Oh, man!

I don't want to be a god!

00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,217

That is way too much pressure!

- That is bull crap!

00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,427

You better stop worshiping him,

Sea-People!

00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,264

What's going on now?

00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,890

The Sea-People

from Cartman's side

00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,725

are suicide-bombing

the buildings on Tweek's side!

00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:08,726

Aah!

00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:09,978

Yeah! Go!

00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,230

Now what's happening?!

00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,648

The Sea-People on Tweek's side

00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,941

just suicide-bombed

the Cartman statue!

00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,234

Oh, God damn it!

00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,745

Oh, no!

Oh, the humanity!

00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,206

Well, it was a nice project

while it lasted, boys.

00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,582

Yeah, but I guess this proves

00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,209

that war is

the natural order of life.

00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,753

Why can't societies

just live in peace?

00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602

♪ Goin' down to South Park,

gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148

♪ People spouting,

"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317

♪ Heading on up to South Park,

gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111

♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪

00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071

♪ Timmy, Timmy,

liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪

00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575

♪ Come on down to South Park

and meet some friends of mine ♪

00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,872

Okay, now,

put on the nose, Tweek.

00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,001

I can't! You do it!

- Just stick it on!

00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,753

But what if I put it

in the wrong place?

00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,254

Just put it between its eyes.

00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,881

Aah! But what if,

while I'm putting on the nose,

00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,091

the snowman comes to life

and tries to kill me?

00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,468

Tweek, when has

that ever happened,

00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,428

except for that one time?

- Yeah!

00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,263

Hey, fellas!

- Oh, hey, Butters.

00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,265

How are things going

with your new best friend?

00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,600

Well, Tweek's okay.

00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,185

But he's certainly no Kenny!

- Aah!

00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,644

Yeah, but he's still

better than you, Butters.

00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,229

Yeah.

- Well, that's good.

00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,731

Good luck

being their new friend, Tweek.

00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:04,774

Hopefully, you'll do better

than me.

00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,484

See ya, fellas.

00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,111

Oh, man!

That is way too much pressure!

00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,405

You guys! You guys!

You're not gonna believe it!

00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,740

Uh-oh.

00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,325

Everything's gonna

be okay, you guys!

00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,077

Life isn't so crappy after all!

00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,536

It's not?!

- No!

00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,080

I was looking in this magazine,

00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,790

and I found an ad

for little ocean creatures

00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,042

that you can buy

and raise in your room!

00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,126

No way.

00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,127

Look!

00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,587

"Sea-People."

00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,422

You keep them

in a big tank of water,

00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,966

and they, like, build castles

and play basketball and stuff.

00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,343

Nuh-unh.

- Yeah!

00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:33,844

And look, they ride around

on turtles,

00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,096

and they play games with fish!

00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,014

No way.

00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,808

Okay, Kyle, you're being

a Negative Nancy.

00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,309

Stop it, okay,

unless you want everyone

00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019

to call you Negative Nancy

from now on.

00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,021

Now, what we need

is to all chip in $4,

00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,773

and we can

have them here tomorrow.

00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,777

Only $16? They can't be cool

if they're only $16.

00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,574

If Nancy

doesn't want to chip in,

00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243

then it will be

$5.35 per person.

00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,577

All right, I'll chip in.

00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,746

Aah! Me too!

- All right.

00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,792

Butters, don't forget

dinner is in two hours!

00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,087

Okay, Mom. I'm just gonna be

up here doing my homework.

00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,967

Yes, by day, he's mild-mannered,

sweet, and innocent Butters.

00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,468

But...

00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,596

nobody knows he actually

has a dark underside...

00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,348

Professor Chaos!

00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,476

Ha ha! Time to wreak havoc

on the world that shunned me!

00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:30,025

[ Chuckling evilly ]

00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,694

Professor Chaos!

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,863

Ah, my faithful companion

in world destruction,

00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948

General Disarray.

- I have done as you asked

00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,741

and brought the first load

of scrap wood.

00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243

Excellent, General Disarray.

00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,120

Now we can begin my most

horrible, evil plan yet

00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705

to wreak havoc on humanity.

00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,748

What dastardly deed

are we doing now?

00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,876

Simple, my dear general.

00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,003

We are going to

block out the sun!

00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,296

Whoa!

- Ah, yes!

00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,797

I have plotted for weeks

00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,133

and figured that if we

build a huge wooden shade

00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,386

80 feet high and 50 feet wide

precisely on this hill,

00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,763

South Park will forever

be cast in a great shadow!

00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,223

Oh, awesome!

00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,517

Soon, all people will

have to live like moles!

00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,144

They will live only

to remember with sorrow

00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,647

how great the sun used to be!

[ Laughs evilly ]

00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,192

Cool, it'll be just like

on "The Simpsons."

00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,694

Huh?

- They did that

00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:14,987

on "The Simpsons."

00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,322

I think it was

the Mr. Burns character.

00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,865

He tried to block

Springfield from the sun.

00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,742

He did?

Aw, heck!

00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160

I thought I was being original.

00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,328

So, how do we build it?

00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,205

Aw, I don't want to do it now,

00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,956

not if they already did it

on "The Simpsons."

00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,750

I gotta think of something else.

00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,920

God damn it, how come every time

I think of something clever,

00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,338

"The Simpsons" already did it?

00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674

Sea-People...

00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,386

coming in the mail tomorrow.

00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,223

[ Echoing ] Yes...yes!

00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:45,142

[ Upbeat music plays ]

00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,272

♪ Look at me, I'm livin' free ♪

00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,900

♪ Free and clean

amongst the Sea-People ♪

00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,402

♪ We look for pirates

and search for gold ♪

00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,113

♪ Life is an adventure

with the Sea-People ♪

00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,032

♪ They don't ever complain,

they don't call me fat ♪

00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,077

♪ They don't make me do homework

or nothin' like that ♪

00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,621

♪ This is the way

life was meant to be ♪

00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,084

♪ Laughin' and singin',

Sea-People and me ♪

00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,587

♪ Sea-People and me, you guys ♪

00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,175

Wow.

00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302

Only three more hours,

Sea-People --

00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,096

Only three more hours,

and you can take me away

00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,015

from this crappy Goddamn planet

full of hippies.

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,395

Okay, I've added

the water purifier tablet

00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,313

to the Sea-People kingdom tank.

00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649

Now it says, "Step two...

00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,734

Add the Sea-People eggs

to the water.

00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654

You will see sea life

spring instantly."

00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,323

Okay, let's just run through

this one more time.

00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,741

When the Sea-People arrive,

I will welcome them

00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,326

to South Park

as ambassador of Earth.

00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,287

Tweek, you give them

the key to the city,

00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,122

and we'll all engage them

in simple conversation.

00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,666

We've got to make Sea-People

feel comfortable, okay? Ready?

00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,001

Ready. Let's see 'em.

00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,837

Hold the sign up, Kyle!

00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,006

Higher, Kyle!

00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,300

Okay.

00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,218

Here we go.

00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,733

[ Water bubbling ]

00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,193

Are they playing basketball?

00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,122

What the fuck is this?!

00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,458

Hey, these are brine shrimp.

I used to feed them to my fish.

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,294

I got ripped off!

- I told you, Cartman.

00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,921

Oh, shut up, Kyle!

Shut your Goddamn Jew mouth!

00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,049

You people are why there's

war in the Middle East!

00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,383

And you, Tweek,

why don't you learn

00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,010

to button your shirt right

for once?!

00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,345

You're as bad as Stan

with his stupid girlfriend,

00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,554

always spending time with her!

00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097

God, I hate you guys!

00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,390

They were supposed

to take me away

00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,142

to their underwater kingdom.

00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,643

They were supposed to take me

on adventures of the deep!

00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,479

They package brine shrimp

and sell them to kids?

00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,772

That's not right, man!

00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:55,981

What are we gonna do with them?

00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,483

Who cares?!

Throw 'em away!

00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,068

Hey, let's pour them

in the teacher's coffee

00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,195

tomorrow morning.

- Yeah, that'd be funny!

00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,696

Heh heh, okay!

00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,326

[ Indistinct conversations ]

00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,953

[Ambulance doors close ]

00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623

[ Siren wailing ]

All right, listen to me.

00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,541

We must take

a strict vow of silence.

00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,168

Jesus Christ!

We killed her!

00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,087

Shh! Tweek!

Shut the hell up!

00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,757

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,134

General Disarray,

are your parents home?

00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,969

No.

- I've done it, General Disarray!

00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,554

I've completed my

most horrible deed to date!

00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264

What?

- You know that big statue

00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,266

in the town square

of pioneer John Wesley Powell?

00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,684

I snuck over there

with a hacksaw,

00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,019

and I cut off his head!

00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,270

[ Laughs evilly ]

Yeah!

00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,939

Oh...uh...

00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,191

They're probably

just realizing it now!

00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,526

Quick!

We must turn on the news!

00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,111

[ TV ]

But Hillary Clinton's ass

00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,529

just keeps getting bigger.

00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,072

Also in the news tonight,

00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,074

a vandal has apparently

cut off and stolen

00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,785

the head of the Powell statue

in the South Park town square.

00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,996

Look! Look! I made the news!

I've wreaked havoc!

00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,706

The head was taken

in the early morning hours,

00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,375

and the police have no leads.

00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,127

I finally made the world sorry!

00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,629

I brought sadness and chaos!

00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,631

This act, of course,

reminded us all of the time

00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,050

that Bart Simpson took the head

of the Springfield statue

00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,802

in one of their

classic episodes.

00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,512

Here's what some people

had to say.

00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,305

"Well, I think whoever

took the head

00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,099

was really just doing

an homage to 'The Simpsons. '

00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,517

[ Chuckling ]

I think it's great!"

00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,810

"Yes, it really made me reflect

00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437

on that episode and laugh."

00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272

"Well, 'The Simpsons'

is such a great show,

00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,566

and we need reminders like this

to keep us watching."

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111

Aw...oh, son of a bitch.

00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,113

The police say that instead of

looking for the missing head,

00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,781

they'd rather leave it off

00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,658

and be reminded of

'The Simpsons' every day.

00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,035

Why didn't you tell me

"The Simpsons" already did that?

00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,329

You seemed so proud.

I didn't want to bum you out.

00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,748

Stupid "Simpsons."

00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,375

[ Cartoon music plays ]

00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,377

Hello, there, Phillip!

I brought you something!

00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,712

Ooh, what is it?

00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,172

[ Farts, laughs ]

00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,715

See? We're just watching

cartoons, like always.

00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,800

Nothing's changed.

- Jesus Christ! She's dead!

00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,303

Stop it, Tweek! We're pretending

like nothing happened.

00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,888

Phillip, I think

I may have accidentally

00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,556

killed Celine Dion!

00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,057

[ Gasps ]

Killing is never an accident,

00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,058

you dick face!

00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,393

[ Farts, laughs ]

00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,145

Oh, Jesus.

Change the channel!

00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,313

And, in other news,

00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,023

still no cause of death found

00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,692

for elementary schoolteacher

Diane Choksondik.

00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,195

However, doctors say

that during the autopsy,

00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,156

they did find semen

in her stomach.

00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,866

They found the sea men!

00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,076

It's only a matter of time

before they find the women, too!

00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,745

The autopsy is ongoing,

00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,830

and cause of death

has yet to be determined.

00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,081

Oh, God!

- We're dead!

00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500

Oh, Jesus!

That's it, man!

00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,084

I want nothing more

to do with you guys!

00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,544

Tweek, where are you going?!

00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,962

They're gonna find you out,

and when they do,

00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,297

I don't want to be

within 50 feet of you!

00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,090

You're gonna fry, man!

- Hey, Tweek,

00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,383

you're in this

just as much as we are!

00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,801

What?!

I told you not to put

00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,053

the Sea-People in her coffee!

00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,221

I wasn't even there

when you did it!

00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,430

Yeah, but you're our new friend,

00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,224

and that makes you co-pee-able.

00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892

In fact, it makes you

the most responsible.

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,560

Tweek, you might have to

take the fall on this one.

00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,937

Aah!

00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,649

[ Crickets chirping ]

00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,067

[ Doorbell rings ]

00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,611

Oh, well,

hello, there, children!

00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,154

Chef, we did

something kind of bad.

00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,948

We don't know

who else to talk to.

00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,492

Oh, I'm sure your little cracker

problems ain't all that bad.

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,077

Come on in.

00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,870

Now, just sit down

and take a deep breath,

00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,914

and tell ol' Chef

what's going on.

00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,250

We need you to promise

not to tell anybody.

00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,961

Now, children,

every problem can be worked out.

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,587

What was it?

00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,047

We killed our teacher,

00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,550

and they found

our sea men in her stomach.

00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,969

Oh, children, that's a problem

we all have to face

00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,804

one time or another.

00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765

Here, let me sing you a little

song that might cheer you up.

00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725

♪ Sometimes you

kill your teacher ♪

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,936

♪ And they find your semen

in her stomach and the -- ♪

00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,437

Wait! What the -- What?!

00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,856

So, what should we do?

00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,287

Wow, I guess this

really is a big deal.

00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,955

We've only got

one option, you guys.

00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,039

We're gonna have to go

to that hospital

00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,374

where they're doing the autopsy

00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,500

and get our sea men

back ourselves.

00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,210

Aah!

00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,587

I pulled out my hair!

00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,338

Okay.

How about this, Dougie?

00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,674

I'm going to pose

as a real-estate agent

00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,594

and con everyone in town

into buying a monorail,

00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,554

and then skip town

with all their money!

00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,724

No?

- "Simpsons" did it.

00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892

They did it in episode 204.

00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853

Okay, then I'm gonna

start a website

00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,355

to spread vicious rumors

about everyone in town!

00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691

And then, I'll take --

- "Simpsons" did it.

00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,443

I'll bury a skeleton

wearing angel wings

00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,570

so that the townspeople will

think a fallen angel has --

00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,988

"Simpsons" did it!

00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,157

[ Crickets chirping ]

00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,909

This is it.

- All right.

00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,953

Everyone scatter

and look for the sea men.

00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,622

Tweek, stay by the door

and keep a lookout.

00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,332

If you see anybody coming,

say the code word...

00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,125

"Hammertime".

- Hammertime?!

00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419

Can't the code word

just be "look out"?

00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,879

I won't remember "Hammertime"!

00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,547

Just remember the song

"Can't Touch This,"

00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,007

and you'll remember

the code word.

00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,759

Yeah, stupid.

- Oh, God!

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,016

There's nothing here.

00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,226

Dude, it's probably

still in her stomach.

00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,272

Is it her?

00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,231

Yeah, it's Ms. Choksondik,

all right.

00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,067

What do we do now?

00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,777

Just reach in there and get

the sea men out of her stomach.

00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,696

Oh, God, you guys

are such pussies.

00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,907

[ Squishing ]

Huh.

00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,408

Aah!

[ Indistinct conversation ]

00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,951

You guys!

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,036

Ham...Hammer...

00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246

I can't remember the code word!

00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,333

- Can you see the Sea-People?

- No, just a bunch of goo.

00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,210

You guys! Uh...

00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,170

♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,

dun-dun, can't touch this ♪

00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,838

♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun,

dun-dun, can't touch this ♪

00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,674

- Ms. Choksondik stinks inside.

- Yeah.

00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,258

♪ Dun-dun, dun-dun,

can't touch this ♪

00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,259

♪ Dun dun-dun-dun,

dun-dun, dun-dun ♪

00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,969

Stop. Hammertime!

00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,721

Aah!

- Quick, hide!

00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,181

[ Indistinct conversation ]

00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,686

Yeah, well, at least

we got Shannon Sharpe back.

00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,355

[ Squishing ]

00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,193

All right, let's just leave the

semen sample next to the corpse.

00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,404

I want to run

a hair fiber test next.

00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,698

[ Sniffing ]

Hey, do you smell children?

00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616

No, that's not...

00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,286

Got it!

- Let's go!

00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,249

Blagh! Ugh!

00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,209

[ Coughs ]

Uhh!

00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,585

[ Crickets chirping ]

00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,254

Bring the World Cup

to South Park

00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,131

so that a huge soccer riot

can destroy --

00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,258

"Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,926

Take all the beer cans

in South Park

00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,636

and have them shaken up

in a huge mixer

00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,221

at the paint store,

so that they --

00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,015

Episode 9F17, entitled

"So It's Come to This."

00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,644

Fine! Then maybe I'll just

forget about destroying the town

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,605

and just run away

and join the circus!

00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,858

"Simpsons" did it.

- Aah!

00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,115

There, we just put

the Sea-People

00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,450

back in the tank

with the others,

00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,909

and nobody will ever know.

00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,619

The blood is washed

neatly from our hands.

00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,246

All right, children,

00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540

I got you 4 tickets

to Thailand and $300 cash.

00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,459

It's gonna be

tough living for a while.

00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,002

You might have to do

some things for money

00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,503

you never thought

of doing before.

00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,713

It's all right, Chef,

we got our Sea-People

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,089

out of the teacher's stomach,

00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,466

and we put them back

in their aquarium.

00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,178

Wait, what?

"Sea-People"?

00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,096

The Sea-People that we put

in the teacher's coffee!

00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,140

Uh, maybe you better

start from the beginning.

00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,725

[ Crickets chirping ]

00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,310

...and then we put them

back in the tank.

00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,645

Oh, children, you misunderstood!

00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,190

Sea-People is

different from se-men!

00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,858

It is?

- Yes!

00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,943

That stuff that was in that vial

didn't come from you.

00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487

It came from someone else!

00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,655

I thought you children

took turns raping

00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,825

and then murdered the teacher.

[ Chuckling ]

00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,994

If they found somebody

else's sea men in her stomach,

00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,662

maybe they'll find

our Sea-People, too!

00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,122

Relax, children!

00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,707

Drinking some brine shrimp

can't kill you.

00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,043

Your teacher must have died

from something else.

00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,211

Oh, really?

00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,253

[All sigh ]

00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,589

Aah! I'm so relieved! Aaah!

00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,591

All right, you children

have had a long night.

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,343

Why don't we all get some rest?

00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,012

And on Monday, I'll sing you

a song explaining the difference

00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,597

between semen and Sea-People.

00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,682

Come on, children,

I'll walk you all home.

00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,017

Okay, good night, Cartman.

00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,101

Night, guys.

00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,937

I'm so glad we're not murderers.

00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,565

Ah, it's so great

00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,318

that everything

is finally back to normal.

00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,782

[ Harp plays ]

00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:48,620

[ Choir sings ]

00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,210

You guys! Come quick!

00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,628

You won't believe it!

00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,089

Oh, no. What now?

00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,132

Those sea men

from the teacher's stomach

00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,926

somehow combined with

the remaining Sea-People

00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,054

we had left in the tank,

and -- Well, look!

00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,224

Whoa!

00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,105

How?

How did that happen?

00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,940

I've been up for hours

doing some calculations,

00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,610

and I've come up with my final

theory of composite dynamics.

00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,821

Sea-People plus sea men

equals...

00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031

SeaCiety.

- Whoa.

00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,324

They've already accomplished

so much.

00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,617

They're like bacteria!

00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,119

Small organisms live

much faster lives

00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,787

and do things

at a much faster rate.

00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,497

That's right, Tweek,

and if my theory is correct,

00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,457

all we need is to get more

of the two reacting agents,

00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,542

and we can really

see them thrive.

00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,960

Tweek!

- Aah!

00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:37,961

You go and send away

for more Sea-People

00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,421

from the magazine ad.

00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,881

Get at least five gallons

of them here, stat!

00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,299

Stan and Kyle, you go find

a bigger fishtank

00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,466

to put them all in!

00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,385

What are you gonna do?

- Me?

00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,471

I'm gonna go out on the town

and find 10 gallons of sea men.

00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,641

I have done it,

General Disarray.

00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,269

I've watched all 132 episodes

of "The Simpsons" -- twice --

00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,062

and I have finally

come up with something

00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,439

that they have never done.

00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608

Behold!

This device that I made

00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,277

will take the cherries out

of chocolate-covered cherries

00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,697

and replace the inside instead

with two-month-old mayonnaise.

00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,490

People will think that they

are gonna get a bite

00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,992

of a sweet, delicious cherry,

00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,785

but instead,

they'll get a mouthful

00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,662

of yucky, sticky mayonnaise!

00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,457

[ Laughing evilly ]

00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,626

You've never seen this

on "The Simpsons," right?

00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,211

No, I think "The Simpsons"

would be more clever than that.

00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,797

Good! Then let us take

my machine outside

00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,593

and make society

finally pay for shunning us.

00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,386

Tonight on "The Simpsons, "

00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,139

it's a laugh-a-rama

when Bart builds a machine

00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642

that takes the cherries out

of chocolate-covered cherries

00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,561

and replaces it instead

with mayonnaise.

00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,147

No. No, no! It can't be!

00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,733

Uh-oh, "Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,568

No! No!

00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,612

"Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,863

Aah!

00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,156

Don't have a cow, man.

00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,783

Oh, sweet Jesus!

00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:54,245

CARTMAN: [ Humming ]

00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,751

Can I help you?

- Yes, my mommy told me

00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503

this is where I could find

some sea men.

00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,214

Your mom told you?

- Do you have them or not?

00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,467

We sell semen, yes,

but not normally to children.

00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,803

What's your name?

- Frances Bellman.

00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,179

Frances, let's talk.

I don't want a bunch

00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,681

of bull crap from you.

00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:13,974

You don't want a bunch

of bull crap from me.

00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,308

Right? Where does that

get us? Nowhere.

00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,893

The truth is,

I'm completely certified

00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,728

to handle sea men.

And though I may appear young,

00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,146

I'm one of the leading sea men

authorities of the Midwest --

00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,147

Up-and-comer.

You know what I'm saying?

00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,524

Have my own business soon,

00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,109

and I'll need people

to help me run it.

00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,568

I'm talking about you, Frances,

and I'm talking

00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,237

about a six-figure income --

How's that sound?

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,241

Everything we supply here

is by a quarter-ounce,

00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,493

one donor, certified,

on record.

00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,869

I see, very interesting.

00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,371

[ Pops ]

00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,332

- What are you doing?

- Let's take a look here.

00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,128

Seems like quality stuff

you got here, Frances.

00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,005

Yeah, good texture,

nice consistency.

00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,506

Sea men must be alive

and healthy in there.

00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134

I'll take five.

- Five? Vials?

00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,511

No, gallons.

- We don't have that much here.

00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,514

Damn it!

Give me all you got then!

00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,600

Aah!

00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,060

[ Panting ] Aaah!

00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,687

No! No!

00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,481

"Simpsons" did it!

"Simpsons" did it!

00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,988

Aah!

00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,242

Hey, let me on!

Let me on!

00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536

Sit down and shut up!

00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,371

Aah!

00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,291

Butters, have you seen Mr. Hat?

00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,334

Hello, there, children!

00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,963

Aah! Nooo!

00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,924

What the hell's wrong with him?

00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:33,428

Look, the Sea-People

have evolved

00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,846

to an Egyptian-like culture!

00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,848

Soon they'll discover

frozen foods! Aah!

00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,308

That should be enough water,

Kyle.

00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,768

You got the new

Sea-People packets, Tweek?

00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,269

Aah!

- Well, drop 'em in!

00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,772

And I've got the sea men.

00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,607

Wow, that's a lot of sea men

you got there, Cartman.

00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,400

Yeah, I bought all

that I could at this bank,

00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,319

and then I got the rest from

this guy, Ralph, in an alley.

00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,237

That's cool.

- Yeah, and the sweet thing is,

00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,573

the stupid asshole didn't even

charge me money for it!

00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,825

He just made me close my eyes

and suck it out of a hose.

00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,661

Heh! There we go.

00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,498

Okay, now let's put

the SeaCiety in its new home.

00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,917

[ Sea-People screaming ]

00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,088

Nothing to do now but wait.

00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,549

Close your eyes

and suck it out of a hose?

00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,801

Uh-huh, suck it out

of a hose, yeah.

00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:13,760

Huh.

- Huh.

00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,647

Oh, my God!

00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,148

Their tiny

underwater civilization

00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,734

has advanced hundreds of years!

00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,696

Look! There's a library

and a temple and a...

00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,868

Oh...they think I'm God.

00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,078

Yes!

00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,455

I am god of the Sea-People!

00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,873

You hear that?!

00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,544

I am god of the Sea-People!

00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:51,047

I am master of their

great sunken empire!

00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,175

Mom!

I'm god of the Sea-People!

00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,428

That's nice, poopie.

00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,851

And in other South Park news,

00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436

elementary schoolteacher

Ms. Choksondik's autopsy

00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,021

has shown that

the semen in her stomach

00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,274

belonged to school counselor

Mr. Mackey.

00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,692

However, the semen apparently

00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,443

did not contribute

to the death,

00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,779

and so Mr. Mackey's identity

is to remain anonymous.

00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,114

Hey, Butters!

- Hey, Butters!

00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,949

Aah!

- Hey, what are you doing, man?

00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,325

Cartman said he has something

really cool to show everybody.

00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,910

You got to come.

- Cartman?

00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,204

Ha ha!

00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,543

Behold!

You all see my tiny minions

00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,003

groveling at my likeness!

00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,213

I am Eric Cartman, God.

00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,840

Hey! We paid for

the Sea-People, too.

00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,675

How come they're not

making statues of us?

00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,469

Be ye not jealous, Jew.

I am creator of all things, yea.

00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,096

That is very impressive, Eric.

00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,265

What do you intend to do

with your underwater society?

00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,892

I'm gonna send a message

to my people

00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,685

and tell them to

develop a great machine

00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,353

that will shrink me

down to their size

00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,189

so I can

live amongst them forever!

00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,357

Aha!

Aha-hah!

00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,567

A-hah-hah-hah-hah!

00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,653

What the hell is wrong

with you, Butters?

00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,156

They did that on

"The Simpsons"! Ha!

00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,909

"Treehouse of Horror,"

episode 4F02, "The Genesis Tub"!

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411

Lisa loses a tooth,

and the bacteria on it

00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,121

starts to grow

and makes a little society,

00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,081

and they build a statue of her,

thinking she's God!

00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,958

Ha! Ha-ha-ha!

00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,545

So?

- Yeah, so?

00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,547

Dude, "The Simpsons" has done

everything already. Who cares?

00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,341

Yeah, dude. They've been on

the air for like 13 years.

00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,634

Of course

they've done everything.

00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,927

Every idea has

been done, Butters,

00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,345

even before "The Simpsons."

00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,764

Yeah -- In fact,

that episode was a rip-off

00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,599

of a "Twilight Zone" episode.

00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,727

Really? So I shouldn't care

if I come up with an idea

00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,187

and "The Simpsons"

already did it.

00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,607

It...doesn't matter.

00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,735

Everything is back to normal!

00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,362

I think -- I think I can go back

00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,239

to trying to destroy

the world again!

00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,366

Good for you!

- Yeah, that's great, Butters.

00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,408

Now get the hell

out of my room.

00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,993

I feel like a spring chicken!

00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,745

I'm ready to wreak havoc

once again!

00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,538

Hey, look, everybody!

00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,666

The other side of the aquarium

is building another statue!

00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,796

Hey, it's Tweek!

00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,589

Me?! Oh, man!

I don't want to be a god!

00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,217

That is way too much pressure!

- That is bull crap!

00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,427

You better stop worshiping him,

Sea-People!

00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:02,971

[ Explosions ]

00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,264

What's going on now?

00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,890

The Sea-People

from Cartman's side

00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,725

are suicide-bombing

the buildings on Tweek's side!

00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:08,726

Aah!

00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:09,978

Yeah! Go!

00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,230

Now what's happening?!

00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,648

The Sea-People on Tweek's side

00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,941

just suicide-bombed

the Cartman statue!

00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,234

Oh, God damn it!

00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,862

[ Whooshing ]

00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:23,116

[ Sea-People screaming ]

00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,745

Oh, no!

Oh, the humanity!

00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,206

Well, it was a nice project

while it lasted, boys.

00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,582

Yeah, but I guess this proves

00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,209

that war is

the natural order of life.

00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,753

Why can't societies

just live in peace?