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Это уже было в „Симпсонах“
The Simpsons Already Did It
Сезон: 06Серия: 07
Описание
Баттерс строит злобные планы, но оказывается, что все они уже описаны в «Симпсонах». Картман загорается идеей завести у себя дома морской народец.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:12,054 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,872 Okay, now, put on the nose, Tweek.
- 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,001 I can't! You do it! - Just stick it on!
- 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,753 But what if I put it in the wrong place?
- 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,254 Just put it between its eyes.
- 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,881 Aah! But what if, while I'm putting on the nose,
- 00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,091 the snowman comes to life and tries to kill me?
- 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,468 Tweek, when has that ever happened,
- 00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,428 except for that one time? - Yeah!
- 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,263 Hey, fellas! - Oh, hey, Butters.
- 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,265 How are things going with your new best friend?
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,600 Well, Tweek's okay.
- 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,185 But he's certainly no Kenny! - Aah!
- 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,644 Yeah, but he's still better than you, Butters.
- 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,229 Yeah. - Well, that's good.
- 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,731 Good luck being their new friend, Tweek.
- 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:04,774 Hopefully, you'll do better than me.
- 00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,484 See ya, fellas.
- 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,111 Oh, man! That is way too much pressure!
- 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,405 You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe it!
- 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,740 Uh-oh.
- 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,325 Everything's gonna be okay, you guys!
- 00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,077 Life isn't so crappy after all!
- 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,536 It's not?! - No!
- 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,080 I was looking in this magazine,
- 00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,790 and I found an ad for little ocean creatures
- 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,042 that you can buy and raise in your room!
- 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,126 No way.
- 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,127 Look!
- 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,587 "Sea-People."
- 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,422 You keep them in a big tank of water,
- 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,966 and they, like, build castles and play basketball and stuff.
- 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,343 Nuh-unh. - Yeah!
- 00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:33,844 And look, they ride around on turtles,
- 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,096 and they play games with fish!
- 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,014 No way.
- 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,808 Okay, Kyle, you're being a Negative Nancy.
- 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,309 Stop it, okay, unless you want everyone
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019 to call you Negative Nancy from now on.
- 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,021 Now, what we need is to all chip in $4,
- 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,773 and we can have them here tomorrow.
- 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,777 Only $16? They can't be cool if they're only $16.
- 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,574 If Nancy doesn't want to chip in,
- 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243 then it will be $5.35 per person.
- 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,577 All right, I'll chip in.
- 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,746 Aah! Me too! - All right.
- 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,792 Butters, don't forget dinner is in two hours!
- 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,087 Okay, Mom. I'm just gonna be up here doing my homework.
- 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,967 Yes, by day, he's mild-mannered, sweet, and innocent Butters.
- 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,468 But...
- 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,596 nobody knows he actually has a dark underside...
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,348 Professor Chaos!
- 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,476 Ha ha! Time to wreak havoc on the world that shunned me!
- 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,694 Professor Chaos!
- 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,863 Ah, my faithful companion in world destruction,
- 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948 General Disarray. - I have done as you asked
- 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,741 and brought the first load of scrap wood.
- 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243 Excellent, General Disarray.
- 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,120 Now we can begin my most horrible, evil plan yet
- 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705 to wreak havoc on humanity.
- 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,748 What dastardly deed are we doing now?
- 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,876 Simple, my dear general.
- 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,003 We are going to block out the sun!
- 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,296 Whoa! - Ah, yes!
- 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,797 I have plotted for weeks
- 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,133 and figured that if we build a huge wooden shade
- 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,386 80 feet high and 50 feet wide precisely on this hill,
- 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,763 South Park will forever be cast in a great shadow!
- 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,223 Oh, awesome!
- 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,517 Soon, all people will have to live like moles!
- 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,144 They will live only to remember with sorrow
- 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,647 how great the sun used to be!
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,192 Cool, it'll be just like on "The Simpsons."
- 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,694 Huh? - They did that
- 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:14,987 on "The Simpsons."
- 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,322 I think it was the Mr. Burns character.
- 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,865 He tried to block Springfield from the sun.
- 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,742 He did? Aw, heck!
- 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160 I thought I was being original.
- 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,328 So, how do we build it?
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,205 Aw, I don't want to do it now,
- 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,956 not if they already did it on "The Simpsons."
- 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,750 I gotta think of something else.
- 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,920 God damn it, how come every time I think of something clever,
- 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,338 "The Simpsons" already did it?
- 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674 Sea-People...
- 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,386 coming in the mail tomorrow.
- 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,223 Yes...yes!
- 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,272 ♪ Look at me, I'm livin' free ♪
- 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,900 ♪ Free and clean amongst the Sea-People ♪
- 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,402 ♪ We look for pirates and search for gold ♪
- 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,113 ♪ Life is an adventure with the Sea-People ♪
- 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,032 ♪ They don't ever complain, they don't call me fat ♪
- 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,077 ♪ They don't make me do homework or nothin' like that ♪
- 00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,621 ♪ This is the way life was meant to be ♪
- 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,084 ♪ Laughin' and singin', Sea-People and me ♪
- 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,587 ♪ Sea-People and me, you guys ♪
- 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,175 Wow.
- 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302 Only three more hours, Sea-People --
- 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,096 Only three more hours, and you can take me away
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,015 from this crappy Goddamn planet full of hippies.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,395 Okay, I've added the water purifier tablet
- 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,313 to the Sea-People kingdom tank.
- 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649 Now it says, "Step two...
- 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,734 Add the Sea-People eggs to the water.
- 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654 You will see sea life spring instantly."
- 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,323 Okay, let's just run through this one more time.
- 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,741 When the Sea-People arrive, I will welcome them
- 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,326 to South Park as ambassador of Earth.
- 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,287 Tweek, you give them the key to the city,
- 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,122 and we'll all engage them in simple conversation.
- 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,666 We've got to make Sea-People feel comfortable, okay? Ready?
- 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,001 Ready. Let's see 'em.
- 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,837 Hold the sign up, Kyle!
- 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,006 Higher, Kyle!
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,300 Okay.
- 00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,218 Here we go.
- 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,193 Are they playing basketball?
- 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,122 What the fuck is this?!
- 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,458 Hey, these are brine shrimp. I used to feed them to my fish.
- 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,294 I got ripped off! - I told you, Cartman.
- 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,921 Oh, shut up, Kyle! Shut your Goddamn Jew mouth!
- 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,049 You people are why there's war in the Middle East!
- 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,383 And you, Tweek, why don't you learn
- 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,010 to button your shirt right for once?!
- 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,345 You're as bad as Stan with his stupid girlfriend,
- 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,554 always spending time with her!
- 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097 God, I hate you guys!
- 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,390 They were supposed to take me away
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,142 to their underwater kingdom.
- 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,643 They were supposed to take me on adventures of the deep!
- 00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,479 They package brine shrimp and sell them to kids?
- 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,772 That's not right, man!
- 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:55,981 What are we gonna do with them?
- 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,483 Who cares?! Throw 'em away!
- 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,068 Hey, let's pour them in the teacher's coffee
- 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,195 tomorrow morning. - Yeah, that'd be funny!
- 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,696 Heh heh, okay!
- 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623 All right, listen to me.
- 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,541 We must take a strict vow of silence.
- 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,168 Jesus Christ! We killed her!
- 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,087 Shh! Tweek! Shut the hell up!
- 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,134 General Disarray, are your parents home?
- 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,969 No. - I've done it, General Disarray!
- 00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,554 I've completed my most horrible deed to date!
- 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264 What? - You know that big statue
- 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,266 in the town square of pioneer John Wesley Powell?
- 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,684 I snuck over there with a hacksaw,
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,019 and I cut off his head!
- 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,270 Yeah!
- 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,939 Oh...uh...
- 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,191 They're probably just realizing it now!
- 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,526 Quick! We must turn on the news!
- 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,111 <i>But Hillary Clinton's ass</i>
- 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,529 <i>just keeps getting bigger.</i>
- 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,072 <i>Also in the news tonight,</i>
- 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,074 <i>a vandal has apparently cut off and stolen</i>
- 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,785 <i>the head of the Powell statue in the South Park town square.</i>
- 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,996 Look! Look! I made the news! I've wreaked havoc!
- 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,706 <i>The head was taken in the early morning hours,</i>
- 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,375 <i>and the police have no leads.</i>
- 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,127 I finally made the world sorry!
- 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,629 I brought sadness and chaos!
- 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,631 <i>This act, of course, reminded us all of the time</i>
- 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,050 <i>that Bart Simpson took the head of the Springfield statue</i>
- 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,802 <i>in one of their classic episodes.</i>
- 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,512 <i>Here's what some people had to say.</i>
- 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,305 <i>"Well, I think whoever took the head</i>
- 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,099 <i>was really just doing an homage to 'The Simpsons. '</i>
- 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,517 <i>I think it's great!"</i>
- 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,810 <i>"Yes, it really made me reflect</i>
- 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437 <i>on that episode and laugh."</i>
- 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272 <i>"Well, 'The Simpsons' is such a great show,</i>
- 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,566 <i>and we need reminders like this to keep us watching."</i>
- 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111 Aw...oh, son of a bitch.
- 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,113 <i>The police say that instead of looking for the missing head,</i>
- 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,781 <i>they'd rather leave it off</i>
- 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,658 <i>and be reminded of 'The Simpsons' every day.</i>
- 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,035 Why didn't you tell me "The Simpsons" already did that?
- 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,329 You seemed so proud. I didn't want to bum you out.
- 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,748 Stupid "Simpsons."
- 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,377 <i>Hello, there, Phillip! I brought you something!</i>
- 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,712 <i>Ooh, what is it?</i>
- 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,715 See? We're just watching cartoons, like always.
- 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,800 Nothing's changed. - Jesus Christ! She's dead!
- 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,303 Stop it, Tweek! We're pretending like nothing happened.
- 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,888 <i>Phillip, I think I may have accidentally</i>
- 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,556 <i>killed Celine Dion!</i>
- 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,057 <i>Killing is never an accident,</i>
- 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,058 <i>you dick face!</i>
- 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,145 Oh, Jesus. Change the channel!
- 00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,313 <i>And, in other news,</i>
- 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,023 <i>still no cause of death found</i>
- 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,692 <i>for elementary schoolteacher Diane Choksondik.</i>
- 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,195 <i>However, doctors say that during the autopsy,</i>
- 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,156 <i>they did find semen in her stomach.</i>
- 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,866 They found the sea men!
- 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,076 It's only a matter of time before they find the women, too!
- 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,745 <i>The autopsy is ongoing,</i>
- 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,830 <i>and cause of death has yet to be determined.</i>
- 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,081 Oh, God! - We're dead!
- 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500 Oh, Jesus! That's it, man!
- 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,084 I want nothing more to do with you guys!
- 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,544 Tweek, where are you going?!
- 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,962 They're gonna find you out, and when they do,
- 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,297 I don't want to be within 50 feet of you!
- 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,090 You're gonna fry, man! - Hey, Tweek,
- 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,383 you're in this just as much as we are!
- 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,801 What?! I told you not to put
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,053 the Sea-People in her coffee!
- 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,221 I wasn't even there when you did it!
- 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,430 Yeah, but you're our new friend,
- 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,224 and that makes you co-pee-able.
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892 In fact, it makes you the most responsible.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,560 Tweek, you might have to take the fall on this one.
- 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,937 Aah!
- 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,611 Oh, well, hello, there, children!
- 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,154 Chef, we did something kind of bad.
- 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,948 We don't know who else to talk to.
- 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,492 Oh, I'm sure your little cracker problems ain't all that bad.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,077 Come on in.
- 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,870 Now, just sit down and take a deep breath,
- 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,914 and tell ol' Chef what's going on.
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,250 We need you to promise not to tell anybody.
- 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,961 Now, children, every problem can be worked out.
- 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,587 What was it?
- 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,047 We killed our teacher,
- 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,550 and they found our sea men in her stomach.
- 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,969 Oh, children, that's a problem we all have to face
- 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,804 one time or another.
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765 Here, let me sing you a little song that might cheer you up.
- 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725 ♪ Sometimes you kill your teacher ♪
- 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,936 ♪ And they find your semen in her stomach and the -- ♪
- 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,437 Wait! What the -- What?!
- 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,856 So, what should we do?
- 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,287 Wow, I guess this really <i>is</i> a big deal.
- 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,955 We've only got one option, you guys.
- 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,039 We're gonna have to go to that hospital
- 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,374 where they're doing the autopsy
- 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,500 and get our sea men back ourselves.
- 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,210 Aah!
- 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,587 I pulled out my hair!
- 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,338 Okay. How about this, Dougie?
- 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,674 I'm going to pose as a real-estate agent
- 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,594 and con everyone in town into buying a monorail,
- 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,554 and then skip town with all their money!
- 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,724 No? - "Simpsons" did it.
- 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892 They did it in episode 204.
- 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853 Okay, then I'm gonna start a website
- 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,355 to spread vicious rumors about everyone in town!
- 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691 And then, I'll take -- - "Simpsons" did it.
- 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,443 I'll bury a skeleton wearing angel wings
- 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,570 so that the townspeople will think a fallen angel has --
- 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,988 "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,909 This is it. - All right.
- 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,953 Everyone scatter and look for the sea men.
- 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,622 Tweek, stay by the door and keep a lookout.
- 00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,332 If you see anybody coming, say the code word...
- 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,125 "Hammertime". - Hammertime?!
- 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419 Can't the code word just be "look out"?
- 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,879 I won't remember "Hammertime"!
- 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,547 Just remember the song "Can't Touch This,"
- 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,007 and you'll remember the code word.
- 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,759 Yeah, stupid. - Oh, God!
- 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,016 There's nothing here.
- 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,226 Dude, it's probably still in her stomach.
- 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,272 Is it her?
- 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,231 Yeah, it's Ms. Choksondik, all right.
- 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,067 What do we do now?
- 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,777 Just reach in there and get the sea men out of her stomach.
- 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,696 Oh, God, you guys are such pussies.
- 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,907 Huh.
- 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,408 Aah!
- 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,951 You guys!
- 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,036 Ham...Hammer...
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246 I can't remember the code word!
- 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,333 - Can you see the Sea-People? - No, just a bunch of goo.
- 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,210 You guys! Uh...
- 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,170 ♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, can't touch this ♪
- 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,838 ♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, can't touch this ♪
- 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,674 - Ms. Choksondik stinks inside. - Yeah.
- 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,258 ♪ Dun-dun, dun-dun, can't touch this ♪
- 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,259 ♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun ♪
- 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,969 Stop. Hammertime!
- 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,721 Aah! - Quick, hide!
- 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,686 Yeah, well, at least we got Shannon Sharpe back.
- 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,193 All right, let's just leave the semen sample next to the corpse.
- 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,404 I want to run a hair fiber test next.
- 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,698 Hey, do you smell children?
- 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616 No, that's not...
- 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,286 Got it! - Let's go!
- 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,249 Blagh! Ugh!
- 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,209 Uhh!
- 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,254 Bring the World Cup to South Park
- 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,131 so that a huge soccer riot can destroy --
- 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,258 "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,926 Take all the beer cans in South Park
- 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,636 and have them shaken up in a huge mixer
- 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,221 at the paint store, so that they --
- 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,015 Episode 9F17, entitled "So It's Come to This."
- 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,644 Fine! Then maybe I'll just forget about destroying the town
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,605 and just run away and join the circus!
- 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,858 "Simpsons" did it. - Aah!
- 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,115 There, we just put the Sea-People
- 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,450 back in the tank with the others,
- 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,909 and nobody will ever know.
- 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,619 The blood is washed neatly from our hands.
- 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,246 All right, children,
- 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540 I got you 4 tickets to Thailand and $300 cash.
- 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,459 It's gonna be tough living for a while.
- 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,002 You might have to do some things for money
- 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,503 you never thought of doing before.
- 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,713 It's all right, Chef, we got our Sea-People
- 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,089 out of the teacher's stomach,
- 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,466 and we put them back in their aquarium.
- 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,178 Wait, what? "Sea-People"?
- 00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,096 The Sea-People that we put in the teacher's coffee!
- 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,140 Uh, maybe you better start from the beginning.
- 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,310 ...and then we put them back in the tank.
- 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,645 Oh, children, you misunderstood!
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,190 Sea-People is different from se-men!
- 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,858 It is? - Yes!
- 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,943 That stuff that was in that vial didn't come from you.
- 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487 It came from someone else!
- 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,655 I thought you children took turns raping
- 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,825 and then murdered the teacher.
- 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,994 If they found somebody else's sea <i>men</i> in her stomach,
- 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,662 maybe they'll find our Sea-People, too!
- 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,122 Relax, children!
- 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,707 Drinking some brine shrimp can't kill you.
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,043 Your teacher must have died from something else.
- 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,211 Oh, really?
- 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,589 Aah! I'm so relieved! Aaah!
- 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,591 All right, you children have had a long night.
- 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,343 Why don't we all get some rest?
- 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,012 And on Monday, I'll sing you a song explaining the difference
- 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,597 between semen and Sea-People.
- 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,682 Come on, children, I'll walk you all home.
- 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,017 Okay, good night, Cartman.
- 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,101 Night, guys.
- 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,937 I'm so glad we're not murderers.
- 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,565 Ah, it's so great
- 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,318 that everything is finally back to normal.
- 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,210 You guys! Come quick!
- 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,628 You won't believe it!
- 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,089 Oh, no. What now?
- 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,132 Those sea men from the teacher's stomach
- 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,926 somehow combined with the remaining Sea-People
- 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,054 we had left in the tank, and -- Well, look!
- 00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,224 Whoa!
- 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,105 How? How did that happen?
- 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,940 I've been up for hours doing some calculations,
- 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,610 and I've come up with my final theory of composite dynamics.
- 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,821 Sea-People plus sea men equals...
- 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031 SeaCiety. - Whoa.
- 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,324 They've already accomplished so much.
- 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,617 They're like bacteria!
- 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,119 Small organisms live much faster lives
- 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,787 and do things at a much faster rate.
- 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,497 That's right, Tweek, and if my theory is correct,
- 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,457 all we need is to get more of the two reacting agents,
- 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,542 and we can really see them thrive.
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,960 Tweek! - Aah!
- 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:37,961 You go and send away for more Sea-People
- 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,421 from the magazine ad.
- 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,881 Get at least five gallons of them here, stat!
- 00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,299 Stan and Kyle, you go find a bigger fishtank
- 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,466 to put them all in!
- 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,385 What are you gonna do? - Me?
- 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,471 I'm gonna go out on the town and find 10 gallons of sea men.
- 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,641 I have done it, General Disarray.
- 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,269 I've watched all 132 episodes of "The Simpsons" -- twice --
- 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,062 and I have finally come up with something
- 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,439 that they have never done.
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608 Behold! This device that I made
- 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,277 will take the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries
- 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,697 and replace the inside instead with two-month-old mayonnaise.
- 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,490 People will think that they are gonna get a bite
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,992 of a sweet, delicious cherry,
- 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,785 but instead, they'll get a mouthful
- 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,662 of yucky, sticky mayonnaise!
- 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,626 You've never seen this on "The Simpsons," right?
- 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,211 No, I think "The Simpsons" would be more clever than that.
- 00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,797 Good! Then let us take my machine outside
- 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,593 and make society finally pay for shunning us.
- 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,386 <i>Tonight on "The Simpsons, "</i>
- 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,139 <i>it's a laugh-a-rama when Bart builds a machine</i>
- 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642 <i>that takes the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries</i>
- 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,561 <i>and replaces it instead with mayonnaise.</i>
- 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,147 No. No, no! It can't be!
- 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,733 Uh-oh, "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,568 No! No!
- 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,612 "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,863 Aah!
- 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,156 Don't have a cow, man.
- 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,783 Oh, sweet Jesus!
- 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,751 Can I help you? - Yes, my mommy told me
- 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503 this is where I could find some sea men.
- 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,214 Your mom told you? - Do you have them or not?
- 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,467 We sell semen, yes, but not normally to children.
- 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,803 What's your name? - Frances Bellman.
- 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,179 Frances, let's talk. I don't want a bunch
- 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,681 of bull crap from you.
- 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:13,974 You don't want a bunch of bull crap from me.
- 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,308 Right? Where does that get us? Nowhere.
- 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,893 The truth is, I'm completely certified
- 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,728 to handle sea men. And though I may appear young,
- 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,146 I'm one of the leading sea men authorities of the Midwest --
- 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,147 Up-and-comer. You know what I'm saying?
- 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,524 Have my own business soon,
- 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,109 and I'll need people to help me run it.
- 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,568 I'm talking about you, Frances, and I'm talking
- 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,237 about a six-figure income -- How's that sound?
- 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,241 Everything we supply here is by a quarter-ounce,
- 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,493 one donor, certified, on record.
- 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,869 I see, very interesting.
- 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,332 - What are you doing? - Let's take a look here.
- 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,128 Seems like quality stuff you got here, Frances.
- 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,005 Yeah, good texture, nice consistency.
- 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,506 Sea men must be alive and healthy in there.
- 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134 I'll take five. - Five? Vials?
- 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,511 No, gallons. - We don't have that much here.
- 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,514 Damn it! Give me all you got then!
- 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,600 Aah!
- 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,060 Aaah!
- 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,687 No! No!
- 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,481 "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,988 Aah!
- 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,242 Hey, let me on! Let me on!
- 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536 Sit down and shut up!
- 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,371 Aah!
- 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,291 Butters, have you seen Mr. Hat?
- 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,334 Hello, there, children!
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,963 Aah! Nooo!
- 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,924 What the hell's wrong with him?
- 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:33,428 Look, the Sea-People have evolved
- 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,846 to an Egyptian-like culture!
- 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,848 Soon they'll discover frozen foods! Aah!
- 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,308 That should be enough water, Kyle.
- 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,768 You got the new Sea-People packets, Tweek?
- 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,269 Aah! - Well, drop 'em in!
- 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,772 And I've got the sea men.
- 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,607 Wow, that's a lot of sea men you got there, Cartman.
- 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,400 Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank,
- 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,319 and then I got the rest from this guy, Ralph, in an alley.
- 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,237 That's cool. - Yeah, and the sweet thing is,
- 00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,573 the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it!
- 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,825 He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose.
- 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,661 Heh! There we go.
- 00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,498 Okay, now let's put the SeaCiety in its new home.
- 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,088 Nothing to do now but wait.
- 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,549 Close your eyes and suck it out of a hose?
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,801 Uh-huh, suck it out of a hose, yeah.
- 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:13,760 Huh. - Huh.
- 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,647 Oh, my God!
- 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,148 Their tiny underwater civilization
- 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,734 has advanced hundreds of years!
- 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,696 Look! There's a library and a temple and a...
- 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,868 Oh...they think I'm God.
- 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,078 Yes!
- 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,455 I am god of the Sea-People!
- 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,873 You hear that?!
- 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,544 I am god of the Sea-People!
- 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:51,047 I am master of their great sunken empire!
- 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,175 Mom! I'm god of the Sea-People!
- 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,428 That's nice, poopie.
- 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,851 <i>And in other South Park news,</i>
- 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436 <i>elementary schoolteacher Ms. Choksondik's autopsy</i>
- 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,021 <i>has shown that the semen in her stomach</i>
- 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,274 <i>belonged to school counselor Mr. Mackey.</i>
- 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,692 <i>However, the semen apparently</i>
- 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,443 <i>did not contribute to the death,</i>
- 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,779 <i>and so Mr. Mackey's identity is to remain anonymous.</i>
- 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,114 Hey, Butters! - Hey, Butters!
- 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,949 Aah! - Hey, what are you doing, man?
- 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,325 Cartman said he has something really cool to show everybody.
- 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,910 You got to come. - Cartman?
- 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,204 Ha ha!
- 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,543 Behold! You all see my tiny minions
- 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,003 groveling at my likeness!
- 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,213 I am Eric Cartman, God.
- 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,840 Hey! We paid for the Sea-People, too.
- 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,675 How come they're not making statues of us?
- 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,469 Be ye not jealous, Jew. I am creator of all things, yea.
- 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,096 That is very impressive, Eric.
- 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,265 What do you intend to do with your underwater society?
- 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,892 I'm gonna send a message to my people
- 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,685 and tell them to develop a great machine
- 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,353 that will shrink me down to their size
- 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,189 so I can live amongst them forever!
- 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,357 Aha! Aha-hah!
- 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,567 A-hah-hah-hah-hah!
- 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,653 What the hell is wrong with you, Butters?
- 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,156 They did that on "The Simpsons"! Ha!
- 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,909 "Treehouse of Horror," episode 4F02, "The Genesis Tub"!
- 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411 Lisa loses a tooth, and the bacteria on it
- 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,121 starts to grow and makes a little society,
- 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,081 and they build a statue of her, thinking she's God!
- 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,958 Ha! Ha-ha-ha!
- 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,545 So? - Yeah, so?
- 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,547 Dude, "The Simpsons" has done everything already. Who cares?
- 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,341 Yeah, dude. They've been on the air for like 13 years.
- 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,634 Of course they've done everything.
- 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,927 Every idea has been done, Butters,
- 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,345 even before "The Simpsons."
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,764 Yeah -- In fact, that episode was a rip-off
- 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,599 of a "Twilight Zone" episode.
- 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,727 Really? So I shouldn't care if I come up with an idea
- 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,187 and "The Simpsons" already did it.
- 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,607 It...doesn't matter.
- 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,735 Everything is back to normal!
- 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,362 I think -- I think I can go back
- 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,239 to trying to destroy the world again!
- 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,366 Good for you! - Yeah, that's great, Butters.
- 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,408 Now get the hell out of my room.
- 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,993 I feel like a spring chicken!
- 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,745 I'm ready to wreak havoc once again!
- 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,538 Hey, look, everybody!
- 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,666 The other side of the aquarium is building another statue!
- 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,796 Hey, it's Tweek!
- 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,589 Me?! Oh, man! I don't want to be a god!
- 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,217 That is way too much pressure! - That is bull crap!
- 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,427 You better stop worshiping him, Sea-People!
- 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,264 What's going on now?
- 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,890 The Sea-People from Cartman's side
- 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,725 are suicide-bombing the buildings on Tweek's side!
- 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:08,726 Aah!
- 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:09,978 Yeah! Go!
- 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,230 Now what's happening?!
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,648 The Sea-People on Tweek's side
- 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,941 just suicide-bombed the Cartman statue!
- 00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,234 Oh, God damn it!
- 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,745 Oh, no! Oh, the humanity!
- 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,206 Well, it was a nice project while it lasted, boys.
- 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,582 Yeah, but I guess this proves
- 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,209 that war is the natural order of life.
- 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,753 Why can't societies just live in peace?
- 00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:12,054 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,725 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,187 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,148 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,111 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,071 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,872 Okay, now, put on the nose, Tweek.
- 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,001 I can't! You do it! - Just stick it on!
- 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,753 But what if I put it in the wrong place?
- 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,254 Just put it between its eyes.
- 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,881 Aah! But what if, while I'm putting on the nose,
- 00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:49,091 the snowman comes to life and tries to kill me?
- 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,468 Tweek, when has that ever happened,
- 00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,428 except for that one time? - Yeah!
- 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,263 Hey, fellas! - Oh, hey, Butters.
- 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,265 How are things going with your new best friend?
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,600 Well, Tweek's okay.
- 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,185 But he's certainly no Kenny! - Aah!
- 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,644 Yeah, but he's still better than you, Butters.
- 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,229 Yeah. - Well, that's good.
- 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,731 Good luck being their new friend, Tweek.
- 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:04,774 Hopefully, you'll do better than me.
- 00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,484 See ya, fellas.
- 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,111 Oh, man! That is way too much pressure!
- 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,405 You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe it!
- 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,740 Uh-oh.
- 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,325 Everything's gonna be okay, you guys!
- 00:01:14,450 --> 00:01:16,077 Life isn't so crappy after all!
- 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,536 It's not?! - No!
- 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,080 I was looking in this magazine,
- 00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:20,790 and I found an ad for little ocean creatures
- 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,042 that you can buy and raise in your room!
- 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,126 No way.
- 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,127 Look!
- 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,587 "Sea-People."
- 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,422 You keep them in a big tank of water,
- 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,966 and they, like, build castles and play basketball and stuff.
- 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,343 Nuh-unh. - Yeah!
- 00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:33,844 And look, they ride around on turtles,
- 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,096 and they play games with fish!
- 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,014 No way.
- 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,808 Okay, Kyle, you're being a Negative Nancy.
- 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,309 Stop it, okay, unless you want everyone
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019 to call you Negative Nancy from now on.
- 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,021 Now, what we need is to all chip in $4,
- 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,773 and we can have them here tomorrow.
- 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,777 Only $16? They can't be cool if they're only $16.
- 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,574 If Nancy doesn't want to chip in,
- 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243 then it will be $5.35 per person.
- 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,577 All right, I'll chip in.
- 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,746 Aah! Me too! - All right.
- 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,792 Butters, don't forget dinner is in two hours!
- 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,087 Okay, Mom. I'm just gonna be up here doing my homework.
- 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,967 Yes, by day, he's mild-mannered, sweet, and innocent Butters.
- 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,468 But...
- 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,596 nobody knows he actually has a dark underside...
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,348 Professor Chaos!
- 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,476 Ha ha! Time to wreak havoc on the world that shunned me!
- 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:30,025 [ Chuckling evilly ]
- 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,694 Professor Chaos!
- 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,863 Ah, my faithful companion in world destruction,
- 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948 General Disarray. - I have done as you asked
- 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,741 and brought the first load of scrap wood.
- 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243 Excellent, General Disarray.
- 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,120 Now we can begin my most horrible, evil plan yet
- 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705 to wreak havoc on humanity.
- 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,748 What dastardly deed are we doing now?
- 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,876 Simple, my dear general.
- 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,003 We are going to block out the sun!
- 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,296 Whoa! - Ah, yes!
- 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,797 I have plotted for weeks
- 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,133 and figured that if we build a huge wooden shade
- 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,386 80 feet high and 50 feet wide precisely on this hill,
- 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,763 South Park will forever be cast in a great shadow!
- 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,223 Oh, awesome!
- 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,517 Soon, all people will have to live like moles!
- 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,144 They will live only to remember with sorrow
- 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,647 how great the sun used to be! [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,192 Cool, it'll be just like on "The Simpsons."
- 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,694 Huh? - They did that
- 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:14,987 on "The Simpsons."
- 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,322 I think it was the Mr. Burns character.
- 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,865 He tried to block Springfield from the sun.
- 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,742 He did? Aw, heck!
- 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,160 I thought I was being original.
- 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,328 So, how do we build it?
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,205 Aw, I don't want to do it now,
- 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,956 not if they already did it on "The Simpsons."
- 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,750 I gotta think of something else.
- 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:30,920 God damn it, how come every time I think of something clever,
- 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,338 "The Simpsons" already did it?
- 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,674 Sea-People...
- 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,386 coming in the mail tomorrow.
- 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,223 [ Echoing ] Yes...yes!
- 00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:45,142 [ Upbeat music plays ]
- 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,272 ♪ Look at me, I'm livin' free ♪
- 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,900 ♪ Free and clean amongst the Sea-People ♪
- 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,402 ♪ We look for pirates and search for gold ♪
- 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,113 ♪ Life is an adventure with the Sea-People ♪
- 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,032 ♪ They don't ever complain, they don't call me fat ♪
- 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,077 ♪ They don't make me do homework or nothin' like that ♪
- 00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,621 ♪ This is the way life was meant to be ♪
- 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:10,084 ♪ Laughin' and singin', Sea-People and me ♪
- 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,587 ♪ Sea-People and me, you guys ♪
- 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,175 Wow.
- 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,302 Only three more hours, Sea-People --
- 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,096 Only three more hours, and you can take me away
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,015 from this crappy Goddamn planet full of hippies.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,395 Okay, I've added the water purifier tablet
- 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,313 to the Sea-People kingdom tank.
- 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649 Now it says, "Step two...
- 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,734 Add the Sea-People eggs to the water.
- 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654 You will see sea life spring instantly."
- 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,323 Okay, let's just run through this one more time.
- 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,741 When the Sea-People arrive, I will welcome them
- 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,326 to South Park as ambassador of Earth.
- 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,287 Tweek, you give them the key to the city,
- 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,122 and we'll all engage them in simple conversation.
- 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,666 We've got to make Sea-People feel comfortable, okay? Ready?
- 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,001 Ready. Let's see 'em.
- 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,837 Hold the sign up, Kyle!
- 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,006 Higher, Kyle!
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,300 Okay.
- 00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,218 Here we go.
- 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,733 [ Water bubbling ]
- 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,193 Are they playing basketball?
- 00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,122 What the fuck is this?!
- 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,458 Hey, these are brine shrimp. I used to feed them to my fish.
- 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,294 I got ripped off! - I told you, Cartman.
- 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,921 Oh, shut up, Kyle! Shut your Goddamn Jew mouth!
- 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,049 You people are why there's war in the Middle East!
- 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,383 And you, Tweek, why don't you learn
- 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,010 to button your shirt right for once?!
- 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,345 You're as bad as Stan with his stupid girlfriend,
- 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,554 always spending time with her!
- 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,097 God, I hate you guys!
- 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,390 They were supposed to take me away
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,142 to their underwater kingdom.
- 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,643 They were supposed to take me on adventures of the deep!
- 00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,479 They package brine shrimp and sell them to kids?
- 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,772 That's not right, man!
- 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:55,981 What are we gonna do with them?
- 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,483 Who cares?! Throw 'em away!
- 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,068 Hey, let's pour them in the teacher's coffee
- 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,195 tomorrow morning. - Yeah, that'd be funny!
- 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,696 Heh heh, okay!
- 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,326 [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,953 [Ambulance doors close ]
- 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,623 [ Siren wailing ] All right, listen to me.
- 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,541 We must take a strict vow of silence.
- 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,168 Jesus Christ! We killed her!
- 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,087 Shh! Tweek! Shut the hell up!
- 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,757 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,134 General Disarray, are your parents home?
- 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,969 No. - I've done it, General Disarray!
- 00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,554 I've completed my most horrible deed to date!
- 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,264 What? - You know that big statue
- 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,266 in the town square of pioneer John Wesley Powell?
- 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,684 I snuck over there with a hacksaw,
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,019 and I cut off his head!
- 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,270 [ Laughs evilly ] Yeah!
- 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,939 Oh...uh...
- 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,191 They're probably just realizing it now!
- 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,526 Quick! We must turn on the news!
- 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,111 [ TV ] <i>But Hillary Clinton's ass</i>
- 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,529 <i>just keeps getting bigger.</i>
- 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,072 <i>Also in the news tonight,</i>
- 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,074 <i>a vandal has apparently cut off and stolen</i>
- 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,785 <i>the head of the Powell statue in the South Park town square.</i>
- 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,996 Look! Look! I made the news! I've wreaked havoc!
- 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,706 <i>The head was taken in the early morning hours,</i>
- 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,375 <i>and the police have no leads.</i>
- 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,127 I finally made the world sorry!
- 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,629 I brought sadness and chaos!
- 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,631 <i>This act, of course, reminded us all of the time</i>
- 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,050 <i>that Bart Simpson took the head of the Springfield statue</i>
- 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,802 <i>in one of their classic episodes.</i>
- 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,512 <i>Here's what some people had to say.</i>
- 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,305 <i>"Well, I think whoever took the head</i>
- 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,099 <i>was really just doing an homage to 'The Simpsons. '</i>
- 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,517 [ <i>Chuckling</i> ] <i>I think it's great!"</i>
- 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,810 <i>"Yes, it really made me reflect</i>
- 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,437 <i>on that episode and laugh."</i>
- 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,272 <i>"Well, 'The Simpsons' is such a great show,</i>
- 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,566 <i>and we need reminders like this to keep us watching."</i>
- 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111 Aw...oh, son of a bitch.
- 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,113 <i>The police say that instead of looking for the missing head,</i>
- 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,781 <i>they'd rather leave it off</i>
- 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,658 <i>and be reminded of 'The Simpsons' every day.</i>
- 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,035 Why didn't you tell me "The Simpsons" already did that?
- 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,329 You seemed so proud. I didn't want to bum you out.
- 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,748 Stupid "Simpsons."
- 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,375 [ Cartoon music plays ]
- 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,377 <i>Hello, there, Phillip! I brought you something!</i>
- 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,712 <i>Ooh, what is it?</i>
- 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,172 [ Farts, laughs ]
- 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,715 See? We're just watching cartoons, like always.
- 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,800 Nothing's changed. - Jesus Christ! She's dead!
- 00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,303 Stop it, Tweek! We're pretending like nothing happened.
- 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,888 <i>Phillip, I think I may have accidentally</i>
- 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:52,556 <i>killed Celine Dion!</i>
- 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,057 [ <i>Gasps</i> ] <i>Killing is never an accident,</i>
- 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,058 <i>you dick face!</i>
- 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,393 [ Farts, laughs ]
- 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,145 Oh, Jesus. Change the channel!
- 00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,313 <i>And, in other news,</i>
- 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,023 <i>still no cause of death found</i>
- 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,692 <i>for elementary schoolteacher Diane Choksondik.</i>
- 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,195 <i>However, doctors say that during the autopsy,</i>
- 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,156 <i>they did find semen in her stomach.</i>
- 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,866 They found the sea men!
- 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,076 It's only a matter of time before they find the women, too!
- 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,745 <i>The autopsy is ongoing,</i>
- 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,830 <i>and cause of death has yet to be determined.</i>
- 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,081 Oh, God! - We're dead!
- 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500 Oh, Jesus! That's it, man!
- 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,084 I want nothing more to do with you guys!
- 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,544 Tweek, where are you going?!
- 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,962 They're gonna find you out, and when they do,
- 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,297 I don't want to be within 50 feet of you!
- 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,090 You're gonna fry, man! - Hey, Tweek,
- 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,383 you're in this just as much as we are!
- 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,801 What?! I told you not to put
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,053 the Sea-People in her coffee!
- 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,221 I wasn't even there when you did it!
- 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,430 Yeah, but you're our new friend,
- 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,224 and that makes you co-pee-able.
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892 In fact, it makes you the most responsible.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,560 Tweek, you might have to take the fall on this one.
- 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:39,937 Aah!
- 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,649 [ Crickets chirping ]
- 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,067 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,611 Oh, well, hello, there, children!
- 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,154 Chef, we did something kind of bad.
- 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,948 We don't know who else to talk to.
- 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,492 Oh, I'm sure your little cracker problems ain't all that bad.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,077 Come on in.
- 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,870 Now, just sit down and take a deep breath,
- 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,914 and tell ol' Chef what's going on.
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,250 We need you to promise not to tell anybody.
- 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,961 Now, children, every problem can be worked out.
- 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,587 What was it?
- 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,047 We killed our teacher,
- 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,550 and they found our sea men in her stomach.
- 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,969 Oh, children, that's a problem we all have to face
- 00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,804 one time or another.
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765 Here, let me sing you a little song that might cheer you up.
- 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725 ♪ Sometimes you kill your teacher ♪
- 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,936 ♪ And they find your semen in her stomach and the -- ♪
- 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,437 Wait! What the -- What?!
- 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,856 So, what should we do?
- 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,287 Wow, I guess this really <i>is</i> a big deal.
- 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,955 We've only got one option, you guys.
- 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,039 We're gonna have to go to that hospital
- 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,374 where they're doing the autopsy
- 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,500 and get our sea men back ourselves.
- 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,210 Aah!
- 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,587 I pulled out my hair!
- 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,338 Okay. How about this, Dougie?
- 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,674 I'm going to pose as a real-estate agent
- 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,594 and con everyone in town into buying a monorail,
- 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,554 and then skip town with all their money!
- 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,724 No? - "Simpsons" did it.
- 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892 They did it in episode 204.
- 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,853 Okay, then I'm gonna start a website
- 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,355 to spread vicious rumors about everyone in town!
- 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,691 And then, I'll take -- - "Simpsons" did it.
- 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,443 I'll bury a skeleton wearing angel wings
- 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,570 so that the townspeople will think a fallen angel has --
- 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,988 "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,157 [ Crickets chirping ]
- 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,909 This is it. - All right.
- 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,953 Everyone scatter and look for the sea men.
- 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,622 Tweek, stay by the door and keep a lookout.
- 00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,332 If you see anybody coming, say the code word...
- 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,125 "Hammertime". - Hammertime?!
- 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419 Can't the code word just be "look out"?
- 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,879 I won't remember "Hammertime"!
- 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,547 Just remember the song "Can't Touch This,"
- 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,007 and you'll remember the code word.
- 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,759 Yeah, stupid. - Oh, God!
- 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,016 There's nothing here.
- 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,226 Dude, it's probably still in her stomach.
- 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,272 Is it her?
- 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,231 Yeah, it's Ms. Choksondik, all right.
- 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,067 What do we do now?
- 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,777 Just reach in there and get the sea men out of her stomach.
- 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,696 Oh, God, you guys are such pussies.
- 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,907 [ Squishing ] Huh.
- 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,408 Aah! [ Indistinct conversation ]
- 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,951 You guys!
- 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,036 Ham...Hammer...
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246 I can't remember the code word!
- 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,333 - Can you see the Sea-People? - No, just a bunch of goo.
- 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,210 You guys! Uh...
- 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,170 ♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, can't touch this ♪
- 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,838 ♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun, can't touch this ♪
- 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,674 - Ms. Choksondik stinks inside. - Yeah.
- 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,258 ♪ Dun-dun, dun-dun, can't touch this ♪
- 00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,259 ♪ Dun dun-dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun ♪
- 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:17,969 Stop. Hammertime!
- 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,721 Aah! - Quick, hide!
- 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,181 [ Indistinct conversation ]
- 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,686 Yeah, well, at least we got Shannon Sharpe back.
- 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,355 [ Squishing ]
- 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:33,193 All right, let's just leave the semen sample next to the corpse.
- 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,404 I want to run a hair fiber test next.
- 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,698 [ Sniffing ] Hey, do you smell children?
- 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616 No, that's not...
- 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,286 Got it! - Let's go!
- 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,249 Blagh! Ugh!
- 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,209 [ Coughs ] Uhh!
- 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,585 [ Crickets chirping ]
- 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,254 Bring the World Cup to South Park
- 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,131 so that a huge soccer riot can destroy --
- 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,258 "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,926 Take all the beer cans in South Park
- 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,636 and have them shaken up in a huge mixer
- 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,221 at the paint store, so that they --
- 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,015 Episode 9F17, entitled "So It's Come to This."
- 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,644 Fine! Then maybe I'll just forget about destroying the town
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,605 and just run away and join the circus!
- 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,858 "Simpsons" did it. - Aah!
- 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,115 There, we just put the Sea-People
- 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,450 back in the tank with the others,
- 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,909 and nobody will ever know.
- 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,619 The blood is washed neatly from our hands.
- 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,246 All right, children,
- 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,540 I got you 4 tickets to Thailand and $300 cash.
- 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,459 It's gonna be tough living for a while.
- 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,002 You might have to do some things for money
- 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,503 you never thought of doing before.
- 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,713 It's all right, Chef, we got our Sea-People
- 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,089 out of the teacher's stomach,
- 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,466 and we put them back in their aquarium.
- 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,178 Wait, what? "Sea-People"?
- 00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:43,096 The Sea-People that we put in the teacher's coffee!
- 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,140 Uh, maybe you better start from the beginning.
- 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,725 [ Crickets chirping ]
- 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,310 ...and then we put them back in the tank.
- 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,645 Oh, children, you misunderstood!
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,190 Sea-People is different from se-men!
- 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,858 It is? - Yes!
- 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,943 That stuff that was in that vial didn't come from you.
- 00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487 It came from someone else!
- 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,655 I thought you children took turns raping
- 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,825 and then murdered the teacher. [ Chuckling ]
- 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,994 If they found somebody else's sea <i>men</i> in her stomach,
- 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,662 maybe they'll find our Sea-People, too!
- 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,122 Relax, children!
- 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,707 Drinking some brine shrimp can't kill you.
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,043 Your teacher must have died from something else.
- 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,211 Oh, really?
- 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,253 [All sigh ]
- 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,589 Aah! I'm so relieved! Aaah!
- 00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,591 All right, you children have had a long night.
- 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,343 Why don't we all get some rest?
- 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,012 And on Monday, I'll sing you a song explaining the difference
- 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,597 between semen and Sea-People.
- 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,682 Come on, children, I'll walk you all home.
- 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,017 Okay, good night, Cartman.
- 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,101 Night, guys.
- 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,937 I'm so glad we're not murderers.
- 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,565 Ah, it's so great
- 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,318 that everything is finally back to normal.
- 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,782 [ Harp plays ]
- 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:48,620 [ Choir sings ]
- 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,210 You guys! Come quick!
- 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,628 You won't believe it!
- 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,089 Oh, no. What now?
- 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,132 Those sea men from the teacher's stomach
- 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,926 somehow combined with the remaining Sea-People
- 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,054 we had left in the tank, and -- Well, look!
- 00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:09,224 Whoa!
- 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,105 How? How did that happen?
- 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,940 I've been up for hours doing some calculations,
- 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,610 and I've come up with my final theory of composite dynamics.
- 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,821 Sea-People plus sea men equals...
- 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031 SeaCiety. - Whoa.
- 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,324 They've already accomplished so much.
- 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,617 They're like bacteria!
- 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,119 Small organisms live much faster lives
- 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,787 and do things at a much faster rate.
- 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,497 That's right, Tweek, and if my theory is correct,
- 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,457 all we need is to get more of the two reacting agents,
- 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,542 and we can really see them thrive.
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,960 Tweek! - Aah!
- 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:37,961 You go and send away for more Sea-People
- 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,421 from the magazine ad.
- 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,881 Get at least five gallons of them here, stat!
- 00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,299 Stan and Kyle, you go find a bigger fishtank
- 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,466 to put them all in!
- 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,385 What are you gonna do? - Me?
- 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,471 I'm gonna go out on the town and find 10 gallons of sea men.
- 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,641 I have done it, General Disarray.
- 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,269 I've watched all 132 episodes of "The Simpsons" -- twice --
- 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,062 and I have finally come up with something
- 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,439 that they have never done.
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608 Behold! This device that I made
- 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,277 will take the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries
- 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,697 and replace the inside instead with two-month-old mayonnaise.
- 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,490 People will think that they are gonna get a bite
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,992 of a sweet, delicious cherry,
- 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,785 but instead, they'll get a mouthful
- 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,662 of yucky, sticky mayonnaise!
- 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,457 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,626 You've never seen this on "The Simpsons," right?
- 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,211 No, I think "The Simpsons" would be more clever than that.
- 00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,797 Good! Then let us take my machine outside
- 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,593 and make society finally pay for shunning us.
- 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,386 <i>Tonight on "The Simpsons, "</i>
- 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,139 <i>it's a laugh-a-rama when Bart builds a machine</i>
- 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642 <i>that takes the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries</i>
- 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,561 <i>and replaces it instead with mayonnaise.</i>
- 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,147 No. No, no! It can't be!
- 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,733 Uh-oh, "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,568 No! No!
- 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,612 "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,863 Aah!
- 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,156 Don't have a cow, man.
- 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,783 Oh, sweet Jesus!
- 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:54,245 CARTMAN: [ Humming ]
- 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,751 Can I help you? - Yes, my mommy told me
- 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503 this is where I could find some sea men.
- 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,214 Your mom told you? - Do you have them or not?
- 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,467 We sell semen, yes, but not normally to children.
- 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,803 What's your name? - Frances Bellman.
- 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,179 Frances, let's talk. I don't want a bunch
- 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,681 of bull crap from you.
- 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:13,974 You don't want a bunch of bull crap from me.
- 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,308 Right? Where does that get us? Nowhere.
- 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,893 The truth is, I'm completely certified
- 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,728 to handle sea men. And though I may appear young,
- 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,146 I'm one of the leading sea men authorities of the Midwest --
- 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,147 Up-and-comer. You know what I'm saying?
- 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,524 Have my own business soon,
- 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,109 and I'll need people to help me run it.
- 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,568 I'm talking about you, Frances, and I'm talking
- 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,237 about a six-figure income -- How's that sound?
- 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,241 Everything we supply here is by a quarter-ounce,
- 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,493 one donor, certified, on record.
- 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,869 I see, very interesting.
- 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,371 [ Pops ]
- 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:39,332 - What are you doing? - Let's take a look here.
- 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,128 Seems like quality stuff you got here, Frances.
- 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,005 Yeah, good texture, nice consistency.
- 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,506 Sea men must be alive and healthy in there.
- 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134 I'll take five. - Five? Vials?
- 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,511 No, gallons. - We don't have that much here.
- 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,514 Damn it! Give me all you got then!
- 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,600 Aah!
- 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,060 [ Panting ] Aaah!
- 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,687 No! No!
- 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,481 "Simpsons" did it! "Simpsons" did it!
- 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:09,988 Aah!
- 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,242 Hey, let me on! Let me on!
- 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536 Sit down and shut up!
- 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,371 Aah!
- 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,291 Butters, have you seen Mr. Hat?
- 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,334 Hello, there, children!
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,963 Aah! Nooo!
- 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,924 What the hell's wrong with him?
- 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:33,428 Look, the Sea-People have evolved
- 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,846 to an Egyptian-like culture!
- 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,848 Soon they'll discover frozen foods! Aah!
- 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,308 That should be enough water, Kyle.
- 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,768 You got the new Sea-People packets, Tweek?
- 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,269 Aah! - Well, drop 'em in!
- 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,772 And I've got the sea men.
- 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,607 Wow, that's a lot of sea men you got there, Cartman.
- 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,400 Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank,
- 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,319 and then I got the rest from this guy, Ralph, in an alley.
- 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,237 That's cool. - Yeah, and the sweet thing is,
- 00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,573 the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it!
- 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,825 He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose.
- 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,661 Heh! There we go.
- 00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,498 Okay, now let's put the SeaCiety in its new home.
- 00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,917 [ Sea-People screaming ]
- 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,088 Nothing to do now but wait.
- 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,549 Close your eyes and suck it out of a hose?
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,801 Uh-huh, suck it out of a hose, yeah.
- 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:13,760 Huh. - Huh.
- 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,647 Oh, my God!
- 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,148 Their tiny underwater civilization
- 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,734 has advanced hundreds of years!
- 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,696 Look! There's a library and a temple and a...
- 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:38,868 Oh...they think I'm God.
- 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,078 Yes!
- 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,455 I am god of the Sea-People!
- 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,873 You hear that?!
- 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,544 I am god of the Sea-People!
- 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:51,047 I am master of their great sunken empire!
- 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,175 Mom! I'm god of the Sea-People!
- 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,428 That's nice, poopie.
- 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,851 <i>And in other South Park news,</i>
- 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,436 <i>elementary schoolteacher Ms. Choksondik's autopsy</i>
- 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,021 <i>has shown that the semen in her stomach</i>
- 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,274 <i>belonged to school counselor Mr. Mackey.</i>
- 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,692 <i>However, the semen apparently</i>
- 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,443 <i>did not contribute to the death,</i>
- 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,779 <i>and so Mr. Mackey's identity is to remain anonymous.</i>
- 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,114 Hey, Butters! - Hey, Butters!
- 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,949 Aah! - Hey, what are you doing, man?
- 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,325 Cartman said he has something really cool to show everybody.
- 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,910 You got to come. - Cartman?
- 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,204 Ha ha!
- 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,543 Behold! You all see my tiny minions
- 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,003 groveling at my likeness!
- 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,213 I am Eric Cartman, God.
- 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,840 Hey! We paid for the Sea-People, too.
- 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,675 How come they're not making statues of us?
- 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,469 Be ye not jealous, Jew. I am creator of all things, yea.
- 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,096 That is very impressive, Eric.
- 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,265 What do you intend to do with your underwater society?
- 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,892 I'm gonna send a message to my people
- 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,685 and tell them to develop a great machine
- 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,353 that will shrink me down to their size
- 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,189 so I can live amongst them forever!
- 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,357 Aha! Aha-hah!
- 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,567 A-hah-hah-hah-hah!
- 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,653 What the hell is wrong with you, Butters?
- 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,156 They did that on "The Simpsons"! Ha!
- 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,909 "Treehouse of Horror," episode 4F02, "The Genesis Tub"!
- 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411 Lisa loses a tooth, and the bacteria on it
- 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,121 starts to grow and makes a little society,
- 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,081 and they build a statue of her, thinking she's God!
- 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,958 Ha! Ha-ha-ha!
- 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,545 So? - Yeah, so?
- 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,547 Dude, "The Simpsons" has done everything already. Who cares?
- 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,341 Yeah, dude. They've been on the air for like 13 years.
- 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,634 Of course they've done everything.
- 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,927 Every idea has been done, Butters,
- 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,345 even before "The Simpsons."
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,764 Yeah -- In fact, that episode was a rip-off
- 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,599 of a "Twilight Zone" episode.
- 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,727 Really? So I shouldn't care if I come up with an idea
- 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,187 and "The Simpsons" already did it.
- 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,607 It...doesn't matter.
- 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,735 Everything is back to normal!
- 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,362 I think -- I think I can go back
- 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,239 to trying to destroy the world again!
- 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,366 Good for you! - Yeah, that's great, Butters.
- 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,408 Now get the hell out of my room.
- 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,993 I feel like a spring chicken!
- 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,745 I'm ready to wreak havoc once again!
- 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,538 Hey, look, everybody!
- 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,666 The other side of the aquarium is building another statue!
- 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,796 Hey, it's Tweek!
- 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,589 Me?! Oh, man! I don't want to be a god!
- 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,217 That is way too much pressure! - That is bull crap!
- 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,427 You better stop worshiping him, Sea-People!
- 00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:02,971 [ Explosions ]
- 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,264 What's going on now?
- 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,890 The Sea-People from Cartman's side
- 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,725 are suicide-bombing the buildings on Tweek's side!
- 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:08,726 Aah!
- 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:09,978 Yeah! Go!
- 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:12,230 Now what's happening?!
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,648 The Sea-People on Tweek's side
- 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,941 just suicide-bombed the Cartman statue!
- 00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,234 Oh, God damn it!
- 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,862 [ Whooshing ]
- 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:23,116 [ Sea-People screaming ]
- 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,745 Oh, no! Oh, the humanity!
- 00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:30,206 Well, it was a nice project while it lasted, boys.
- 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,582 Yeah, but I guess this proves
- 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:33,209 that war is the natural order of life.
- 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,753 Why can't societies just live in peace?
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