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Профессор Хаос
Professor Chaos
Сезон: 06Серия: 06
Описание
Друзья «увольняют» Баттерса, после чего он решает стать суперзлодеем и уничтожить мир. Друзья ищут ему замену и организуют конкурс.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:11,721 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,057 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,227 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,562 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,564 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,652 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,571 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:32,491 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,912 Okay. Here he comes.
- 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,414 Who wants to tell him? - I'll do it.
- 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,583 Hey, fellas! I'm glad you called me!
- 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,752 There's a pie-eating contest down at the firehouse,
- 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:43,919 and I thought we should all go!
- 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,671 Butters, could you take a seat, please?
- 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,381 W-Well, sure.
- 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,011 Butters, we have to have a very difficult conversation.
- 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,304 Well, what is it?
- 00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,473 Well, in the months since our friend Kenny died,
- 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,016 you have really stepped up as a friend
- 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:58,768 and "filled the gap," so to speak.
- 00:00:58,893 --> 00:00:59,935 Well, it's my pleasure!
- 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,188 I love being you guys' new friend.
- 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:06,442 Yes. Well, Butters... it's just not working out.
- 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,486 Not working out?
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,197 I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go as our friend.
- 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,783 You're just too...
- 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,826 Lame. - Lame, yes.
- 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,286 But I can get better.
- 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,954 Butters, you don't really fit in with us here.
- 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,122 We think it's best for all of us
- 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,665 if you look for friendship opportunities elsewhere.
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,793 But we certainly want to thank you for all your hard work
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,878 and attempts at being our friend -- lame as they were.
- 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,380 But I thought we were really getting along great.
- 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,341 I-I thought we were really having fun together.
- 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,551 Yes. Well, we weren't.
- 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,304 Please, fellas, don't fire me.
- 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,056 We're sorry, Butters. Our mind is made up.
- 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,975 But we certainly want to thank you for coming by.
- 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,645 You know your way out, right?
- 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,239 Phew! - Phew!
- 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,657 He took that pretty well, I think.
- 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,491 Who cares?
- 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,577 So let's get started on who's gonna take Kenny's place.
- 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,379 The world isn't fair.
- 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,172 I do everything people ask me to.
- 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,007 I stand in the lunch lines for them.
- 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,509 I buy tampons at the store for them.
- 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,178 I go on "Maury Povich" with balls on my chin for them.
- 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,267 And yet nobody accepts me.
- 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,270 I am an outcast... a shadow of a man
- 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:28,774 who can find no companionship, no love from others.
- 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,070 Fine! If I'm to be an outcast, so be it.
- 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,613 I'm through doing what others tell me to do,
- 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,282 and I am sick of this world and the st--
- 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:37,700 and the stinky people in it.
- 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,536 From now on, I will dedicate my life
- 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,122 to bringing chaos to the world that has dejected me.
- 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,082 I will become the greatest supervillain
- 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,959 the world has ever seen!
- 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,962 Where I go, destruction will follow!
- 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,319 Prepare, oh, little town.
- 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,404 Prepare for the greatest supervillain
- 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,908 you have ever seen -- Professor Chaos!
- 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,746 Butters, time for bed.
- 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,248 Okay, Mom.
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,250 Yes. Uh, slee-- sleep for now.
- 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,003 Tomorrow the chaos begins.
- 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,264 All right. We want to thank everybody for coming.
- 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,098 This is a great turnout.
- 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,976 Uh, as you know, our friend Kenny died a few months ago,
- 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,771 and we are still looking to fill the void with a new friend.
- 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,940 Uh, you've all been selected as possible candidates,
- 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,275 but unfortunately, there is only room for one of you.
- 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,653 And so Stan and Kyle and I will be spending the next few days
- 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,821 going out with each one of you and narrowing our choices down
- 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,990 until we think we've found the perfect friend.
- 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,700 Are there any questions?
- 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,870 What if we don't want to be your friend?
- 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,040 Clyde...okay?
- 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,376 Now, the first thing we have to do
- 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,962 is cut the list down from 20 choices to 10.
- 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,297 So today we will all be going to the amusement park together
- 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,632 to see who we want to cut.
- 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,300 Please keep in mind this will all be videotaped,
- 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,219 so put on your best friend faces,
- 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,470 and may the best friend win.
- 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,306 Oh, and we will be needing a $10-per-person entrance fee.
- 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,332 Order 23 is up, and, uh, order 24 is up.
- 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,016 Uh, waitress, I actually ordered the chicken soup.
- 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:07,850 This is minestrone.
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,893 Yeah. I had the minestrone over here.
- 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,026 I am Professor Chaos,
- 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:20,029 and now this puny world w-will bow down to me!
- 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,540 So today, we went to the amusement park
- 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,875 with all our possible friends.
- 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,917 It was a really fun time.
- 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,878 We rode all the rides, and everyone got along great.
- 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,048 I think the person that stood out most at the amusement park was Jimmy.
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,133 Well, the -- the reason I think I would make
- 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,553 the perfect fourth friend is that I love telling jokes.
- 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,055 You know who doesn't like to laugh?
- 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,140 Tweek -- Now, there's an interesting choice.
- 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,642 Tweek has a lot of qualities that I look for in a friend.
- 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,062 What if they don't pick me? What if they get us all, man?
- 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,272 I mean, Christ, if they can get to the Pentagon,
- 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,940 they can get to us all, man!
- 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:57,441 Aah!
- 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,318 I think I deserve to take Kenny's place the most
- 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,904 because I've been hanging around these guys for like five years,
- 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,655 and I never get to say or do anything.
- 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,991 Yeah, I've always seen that kid in class,
- 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,076 but he never does anything.
- 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,243 He's more like a prop.
- 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,078 Towelie is a tough choice,
- 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,996 because even though I can see how always having a towel around
- 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,415 could come in handy, he's just always so high.
- 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,584 Yeah, I really hope I win because --
- 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,628 Wait. What is this again?
- 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,963 I have no idea what's going on.
- 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,840 We decided to get some one-on-one time with Jimmy
- 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:22,633 and ride the log ride.
- 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,259 The great thing was that because Jimmy's crippled,
- 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,762 we got to go to the front of the line.
- 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,931 That was definitely big points for Jimmy, you know?
- 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,266 But then we got to the ride itself and...
- 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,936 Hey, I-I'm gonna need some help getting in the log, fellas.
- 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,605 Oh, shut her down. Someone needs assistance.
- 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,024 Oh, really? That's gonna cost some points.
- 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,276 Right now I'd say if we're gonna have a retard for a friend,
- 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,611 I'd have to pick Timmy,
- 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,113 because Timmy doesn't tell lame jokes.
- 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,949 Boy, isn't this great, fellas? A-Are we great pals or what?
- 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:47,950 One thing's for sure --
- 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,119 Picking our new friend isn't gonna be easy.
- 00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,795 Kneel!
- 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,798 Kneel before Professor Chaos!
- 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:14,143 Oh, the look on their faces when they got the wrong soup.
- 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,645 I love bringing chaos!
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,527 And that is only the beginning.
- 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,325 All right, everyone. It was a tough decision.
- 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,661 But based on our time with you all at the amusement park,
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,496 we have whittled our choices down to 10.
- 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,831 If you receive a rose, please stay.
- 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,249 If you don't, please get the fudge out.
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,668 Kyle, will you announce the people we want to stay?
- 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,752 Token.
- 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,754 Clyde.
- 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:44,923 Craig.
- 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,718 Timmy. - Timmy!
- 00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:49,845 Oh, man, this is too much pressure!
- 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:50,762 Pip.
- 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:52,931 Jimmy.
- 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,476 Jason.
- 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,936 Towelie.
- 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,105 Luigi.
- 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,775 Just one rose left, Kyle. Who does it go to?
- 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:05,903 Tweek.
- 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:06,570 Aah!
- 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,238 All right. The rest of you, thanks for coming.
- 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,531 Get the fudge out.
- 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,702 I didn't make the cut? Oh, God! I didn't make the cut?!
- 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038 I didn't even get a chance to have them get to know me!
- 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,207 Alright! Congratulations to those of you selected to stay.
- 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,376 In the end, one of you will be the new Kenny.
- 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,962 Good luck.
- 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,093 Good morning, Butters.
- 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,220 It certainly is, Mother.
- 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,888 Did you hear about what's been going on?
- 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,264 Some horrible new supervillain
- 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:37,434 made somebody get the wrong soup order at Bennigan's.
- 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,061 No. I didn't hear about that.
- 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,313 Y-You didn't?
- 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,233 Dad, could -- could I see the newspaper real quick?
- 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:44,900 Well, sure, Butters.
- 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,528 I was just about to get some breakfast.
- 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,496 Nothing.
- 00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,206 Nothing!
- 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,166 It's the liberal media.
- 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,418 They're keeping the stories of my deeds covered up
- 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,795 so as not to cause a panic.
- 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,507 Well, then I guess it's time to step it up a notch!
- 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,515 Okay. Next.
- 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:26,775 This looks pretty good.
- 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,236 Yeah, it's not bad. Next.
- 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,953 Timmy!
- 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:38,954 Next.
- 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,957 Okay, so now we're gonna see
- 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,459 how you all work as a friend during class time.
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,044 Your performances will be judged primarily
- 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,005 on how you help us cheat and give us answers.
- 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,131 So good luck, everybody!
- 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,340 Sit down, boys.
- 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,466 All righty, then.
- 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,467 All right, children.
- 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,302 Before we get started,
- 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,555 has anybody seen the eraser for the chalkboard?
- 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,643 It probably got knocked on the floor somewhere.
- 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,645 Can you all please just look around your desks for it?
- 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,484 Yes. Look around for your precious eraser.
- 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,485 You won't find it.
- 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,987 That eraser is in my backyard,
- 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,156 buried three feet below the surface of the earth.
- 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,325 And do you even suspect me? No.
- 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,702 Now we shall see how you all like your dear chalkboard
- 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:19,828 without an eraser,
- 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,664 with information that just keeps piling up and piling up
- 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,000 until your minuscule brains can take it no longer!
- 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,668 No? Oh, well, never mind.
- 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,337 I've got a backup one in the desk.
- 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:29,004 Okay.
- 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,173 Children, we're gonna learn about multiplying times five.
- 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,342 So...you all think you can outsmart
- 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,676 Professor Chaos, do you?
- 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,678 Now, whenever we multiply a number times five,
- 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,680 the result is going to end in a zero or five.
- 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,682 Ms. Choksondik? - What is it, Butters?
- 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,185 Uh, I need to go to the bathroom really bad.
- 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,771 All right, Butters. Take the bathroom pass and go.
- 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,733 Okay. So for instance, children --
- 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,568 All right. I'm going to the bathroom now.
- 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695 If anybody needs me, that's where I'll be.
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,155 Just go, Butters.
- 00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,702 Okay. So for instance, five times one is what, Eric?
- 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,120 Uh, what's the question again?
- 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,289 Five times one.
- 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,542 Five times one is, of course...
- 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,960 Five.
- 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:09,544 Five!
- 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,591 The time for fun and games is over, feebleminded fools!
- 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:16,760 Who are you?
- 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,220 I am Professor Chaos,
- 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,472 bringer of destruction and maker of doom!
- 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,058 Those who do not know me yet shall know me very soon,
- 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,061 for the hour of chaos i-is at hand!
- 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,567 Hey! That kid took my last eraser!
- 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,735 Come back here, kid!
- 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,570 Well, I-I'm back from the bathroom.
- 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,072 I really let one go in there.
- 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,241 Butters, did you see another little kid run out of here?
- 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,242 Why, yes, I did.
- 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,244 But he pushed me down, and I scraped my elbow.
- 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,663 Go on. Look at it. It's scraped. Look.
- 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,583 Yes. Go on and see the red mark on my elbow --
- 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,751 the red mark I made myself
- 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,254 to throw you off Professor Chaos' trail.
- 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,255 It looks fine, Butters.
- 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,841 Okay. Hold on and stay here, children.
- 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,096 You're such a fat ass, Cartman!
- 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,806 Oh, yeah? Well, you're a stupid Jew!
- 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,725 Shut up, fat ass!
- 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:09,187 Oh. Uh...you guys are dumb.
- 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,107 Okay. Craig. Interesting choice.
- 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,775 Powerful stuff there, Craig. Thank you very much.
- 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,114 It is almost complete -- the creation of my minions
- 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,451 who will assist me in bringing terror to the world.
- 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,369 There we go.
- 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:29,291 Yes. My minions of -- of chaos.
- 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,128 Shh. Not -- Not now, my lovelies.
- 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,214 Your time to bring d-destruction will come very soon.
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:37,799 Aah!
- 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,343 Butters, a note for you was left on the front door.
- 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:41,470 A note? - Here you go.
- 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,680 And wash your hands after you touch those hamsters.
- 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,891 You'll get AIDS. - Okay, Mom.
- 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:58,236 So, someone has discovered my horrible secret.
- 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,655 This could be a trap set by the FBI.
- 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,158 Oh, I'll be at the docks, precious FBI,
- 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,160 but it is I who will have the trap set for you!
- 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,913 Come, my minions. We haven't much time.
- 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:10,332 All right, everyone.
- 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,335 The time has come for us to narrow the list from 10 to 6.
- 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,004 But first let us just say that the people who we didn't pick
- 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,591 were only not picked because they totally suck balls. Kyle?
- 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,383 They're not going to pick me.
- 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,593 I just know they're not.
- 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,345 Oh, Jesus! I-I can't take it!
- 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,262 Token.
- 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,055 All right!
- 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,098 Timmy. - Timmy!
- 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,099 Tweek.
- 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,018 Pip.
- 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,728 Really? I don't believe it!
- 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,063 Towelie.
- 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,022 What?
- 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,565 Just one more rose, Kyle.
- 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,441 Jimmy.
- 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,401 Oh, boy! Oh, thank God!
- 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:39,736 Those with roses will move on
- 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,613 to the swimsuit and talent competition.
- 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,115 The rest of you, get the fudge out!
- 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,909 This whole thing is stupid!
- 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,452 You don't pick people you want to be with
- 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:48,703 by making it into a game!
- 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,956 Ooh! Somebody's a sore loser.
- 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,750 Clyde, I believe I said get the fudge out,
- 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,377 which means kiss my fudgin' ass,
- 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,880 go fudge yourself, fudge you, get the fudge out, Clyde.
- 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,475 Hey, Butters.
- 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,309 Oh, hey, Dougie --
- 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,728 Uh, I mean -- My name is Professor Chaos!
- 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,230 I saw you change in the school bathroom.
- 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,232 You stole that eraser in your class.
- 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,066 Very well!
- 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,442 You've called out Professor Chaos,
- 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070 and you also called out your own demise!
- 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,822 Go now, my minions!
- 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,074 Go and take this foolish mortal down!
- 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,285 Aw, minions. Not -- Not that way.
- 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,327 Come back, minions.
- 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913 I'm not trying to call you out, Professor Chaos.
- 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,249 I want to join you.
- 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,083 Join me?
- 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,794 Yeah, I want to join you in your conquest of destruction.
- 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:38,795 But why?
- 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:39,921 I'm an outcast, too,
- 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,007 a frail child cast aside by society.
- 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,926 I want to follow you in... whatever you're doing.
- 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,596 Very well. You shall be my accomplice in evil.
- 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,098 Together we shall bring the world to its knees
- 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,601 a-and make all those who banished us from society
- 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:53,435 run...wrecked.
- 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,979 Do I get a neato costume made out of aluminum foil, too?
- 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,105 Well, sure, you do.
- 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,608 I am professor, and you shall be my general.
- 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,319 From now on, you are General...Disarray.
- 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,445 General Disarray.
- 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,113 Now let us go look for my minions!
- 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,532 'Cause they ran away here. Can't find 'em.
- 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,542 The swimsuit competition really gave us a fresh look
- 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,461 at some of the candidates.
- 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,463 Well, I don't think I did too well
- 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,964 in the bathing-suit competition.
- 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,883 But I can't wait for the talent-show competition.
- 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,385 That'll really be my chance to s-shine.
- 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,471 Wow. What a terrific audience.
- 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,640 So anyway, a guy walks into a b...
- 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,975 A guy walks into a b-ba...
- 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,020 A guy walks -- A guy walks into a b-baa...
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,359 Okay. Wait.
- 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,240 No, no. Wait.
- 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,663 Next, please.
- 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,831 W-What am I supposed to do?
- 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:57,832 Anything that'll impress us, Token.
- 00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,669 If you were our friend, how would you keep us entertained?
- 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,254 Uh... Oh! I know!
- 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,511 Very nice. - I like it.
- 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,513 Token was the definite winner of the talent show.
- 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,181 Then we decided to take everyone to a baseball game
- 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,225 to see how we got along there.
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,851 There goes a hit to left field!
- 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,186 And Foley's going to score!
- 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,188 Yeah! Isn't this great?
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940 Drinks! Get your drinks here!
- 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,525 Yes. Could I have some tea, please?
- 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,193 You don't drink tea at a baseball game,
- 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,277 you French piece of crap!
- 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,238 Oh. Very well. Just some crumpets, then.
- 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,532 All right! That does it! Pip, get the fudge out!
- 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,200 Next!
- 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,202 Okay. Let's try this.
- 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,040 Hey, what's wrong with the Jumbotron?
- 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,417 People of Earth!
- 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,044 Your meaningless lives are about to end!
- 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,713 I am Professor Chaos,
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,966 and this is my partner in evil, General Disarray.
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,218 In the past few days, I have rained terror down
- 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,095 upon the society that shunned me,
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,724 and now it is time for my final labor of loathing.
- 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:59,728 I am going to...flood the world!
- 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,146 - Flood the world? - My God!
- 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,648 I don't want to die. I don't want to die!
- 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,399 Oh, yes.
- 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,651 Every living creature and every sacred building
- 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:10,405 will soon be under leagues and leagues of cold and dark water.
- 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,574 And there is nothing you can do to stop it!
- 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,952 General Disarray, begin the flooding of Earth!
- 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,666 You brought this upon yourselves!
- 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,918 You made the outcasts of the w-world.
- 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:27,505 Now watch -- watch as your precious planet drowns!
- 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,798 Watch!
- 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,429 Dear Christ, who will save us?
- 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,014 We have very little time to live.
- 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:39,059 How shall we spend our last hours on Earth?
- 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,853 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,028 Our reign of terror is complete!
- 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:53,698 The t-turmoil has now come full circle!
- 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,788 Hey, is the hose on full, General Disarray?
- 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:00,872 It's on all the way.
- 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,165 Oh. All right, then.
- 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,793 N-Nothing to do now but watch the world die!
- 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,722 Boy, this sure is taking a long time.
- 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,229 So how do we all feel about Towelie as our new friend?
- 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,313 I think Towelie is awesome.
- 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,023 Towelie's cool, but he gets stoned all the time.
- 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,566 You can't really rely on him for anything.
- 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,068 Oh, this is giving me a headache.
- 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,027 Come on, you guys.
- 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,487 We can't take this decision lightly.
- 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,988 Whoever we pick is going to be the person
- 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,490 we do everything with from now on.
- 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,699 You're right. How about Timmy?
- 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,243 He's quiet and takes direction well --
- 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,244 really the perfect friend.
- 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,663 Yeah, but Timmy can be really self-centered.
- 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,998 How about Token? Token's a smart ass.
- 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,333 So? You're a smart ass.
- 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,085 Yeah, but do we really need another one?
- 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,211 Good point.
- 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,712 Hey, fellas, I was just in the neighborhood,
- 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,048 and thought I'd stop by this g-gift basket.
- 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,341 Oh, thanks, Jimmy.
- 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,343 There's some chocolates and I-licorice
- 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,679 and some games and p-puzzles inside.
- 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:58,680 That's great. - Cool.
- 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,015 Yeah. Well, I guess I'll be seeing y-you friends later.
- 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,767 All right, Jimmy. See ya.
- 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:03,852 Suck-up.
- 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,694 Not long now, General Disarray,
- 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,780 and our horrible plan will be complete.
- 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,784 Hey, do you think maybe we should build a boat --
- 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,870 you know, like a little raft or something
- 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,079 so that when the world floods,
- 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,206 you and me and the minions can live?
- 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,583 Oh, yeah. I hadn't thought of that.
- 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,295 That's a pretty good idea. I'll go get a hammer.
- 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,380 Hey. Who is that?
- 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,601 Is this it? - Yeah. 213. That's the one.
- 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,856 Hey! W-What are you doing?
- 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,411 Ah! You may have won this time, but I will be back!
- 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,579 What do we do now?
- 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,081 Well, I had another idea of how to kill the world.
- 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,792 I thought it was almost too horrible to even speak of.
- 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:13,838 But -- But now they have left me with no other choice!
- 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,423 Well, this is it.
- 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,591 We have made our final decision,
- 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,135 and one of you is who we will be spending our childhood with
- 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,136 as our new friend.
- 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,431 Oh, p-please. Oh -- Oh, God, p-please.
- 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,600 Four friends. Just one rose.
- 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,354 The moment of truth is here. Kyle, who does the rose go to?
- 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:38,029 This is it, General Disarray -- my final solution.
- 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,157 What evil plot do you have this time, Professor Chaos?
- 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,283 Simple, my dear general.
- 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,703 We are going to tear down the earth's precious atmosphere!
- 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,371 Oh, yes.
- 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,456 My latest plan will melt the polar ice caps
- 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,291 a-and burn all the world with the --
- 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,877 with the sun's harmful rays.
- 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:56,297 Say goodbye to your precious ozone and hello to chaos!
- 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,476 Okay. Hand me another one, General Disarray.
- 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,238 Will Professor Chaos's latest plot succeed
- 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,156 and be the final undoing of Earth?
- 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,658 And which boy has been chosen
- 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,702 to be the replacement for Kenny?
- 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,997 And which of these six South Park residents was killed
- 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,832 and will never be seen again?
- 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,668 The answer to those questions will be answered...
- 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:34,419 right now.
- 00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:38,506 No. Tweek. Ms. Choksondik.
- 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:11,721 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,057 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,227 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,562 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,564 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,652 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,571 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:32,491 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,912 Okay. Here he comes.
- 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,414 Who wants to tell him? - I'll do it.
- 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,583 Hey, fellas! I'm glad you called me!
- 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,752 There's a pie-eating contest down at the firehouse,
- 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:43,919 and I thought we should all go!
- 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,671 Butters, could you take a seat, please?
- 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,381 W-Well, sure.
- 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,011 Butters, we have to have a very difficult conversation.
- 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:53,304 Well, what is it?
- 00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,473 Well, in the months since our friend Kenny died,
- 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,016 you have really stepped up as a friend
- 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:58,768 and "filled the gap," so to speak.
- 00:00:58,893 --> 00:00:59,935 Well, it's my pleasure!
- 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,188 I love being you guys' new friend.
- 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:06,442 Yes. Well, Butters... it's just not working out.
- 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,486 Not working out?
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:11,197 I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go as our friend.
- 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,783 You're just too...
- 00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,826 Lame. - Lame, yes.
- 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,286 But I can get better.
- 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,954 Butters, you don't really fit in with us here.
- 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,122 We think it's best for all of us
- 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,665 if you look for friendship opportunities elsewhere.
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,793 But we certainly want to thank you for all your hard work
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,878 and attempts at being our friend -- lame as they were.
- 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,380 But I thought we were really getting along great.
- 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,341 I-I thought we were really having fun together.
- 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,551 Yes. Well, we weren't.
- 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,304 Please, fellas, don't fire me.
- 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,056 We're sorry, Butters. Our mind is made up.
- 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,975 But we certainly want to thank you for coming by.
- 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,645 You know your way out, right?
- 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,564 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,239 Phew! - Phew!
- 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,657 He took that pretty well, I think.
- 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,491 Who cares?
- 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,577 So let's get started on who's gonna take Kenny's place.
- 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,414 [ Thunder rumbling ]
- 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,379 The world isn't fair.
- 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,172 I do everything people ask me to.
- 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,007 I stand in the lunch lines for them.
- 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,509 I buy tampons at the store for them.
- 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,178 I go on "Maury Povich" with balls on my chin for them.
- 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,514 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,267 And yet nobody accepts me.
- 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:24,270 I am an outcast... a shadow of a man
- 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:28,774 who can find no companionship, no love from others.
- 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,070 Fine! If I'm to be an outcast, so be it.
- 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,613 I'm through doing what others tell me to do,
- 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,282 and I am sick of this world and the st--
- 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:37,700 and the stinky people in it.
- 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,536 From now on, I will dedicate my life
- 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,122 to bringing chaos to the world that has dejected me.
- 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,082 I will become the greatest supervillain
- 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,959 the world has ever seen!
- 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,962 Where I go, destruction will follow!
- 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,047 [ Thunder crashing ]
- 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:55,134 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,319 Prepare, oh, little town.
- 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,404 Prepare for the greatest supervillain
- 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,908 you have ever seen -- Professor Chaos!
- 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,826 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:21,660 [ Knock on door ]
- 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,746 Butters, time for bed.
- 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,248 Okay, Mom.
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,250 Yes. Uh, slee-- sleep for now.
- 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,003 Tomorrow the chaos begins.
- 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,338 [ Chuckling ]
- 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:35,507 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,264 All right. We want to thank everybody for coming.
- 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,098 This is a great turnout.
- 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,976 Uh, as you know, our friend Kenny died a few months ago,
- 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,771 and we are still looking to fill the void with a new friend.
- 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,940 Uh, you've all been selected as possible candidates,
- 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,275 but unfortunately, there is only room for one of you.
- 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,653 And so Stan and Kyle and I will be spending the next few days
- 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,821 going out with each one of you and narrowing our choices down
- 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,990 until we think we've found the perfect friend.
- 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,700 Are there any questions?
- 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,870 What if we don't want to be your friend?
- 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,040 Clyde...okay?
- 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,376 Now, the first thing we have to do
- 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,962 is cut the list down from 20 choices to 10.
- 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,297 So today we will all be going to the amusement park together
- 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,632 to see who we want to cut.
- 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,300 Please keep in mind this will all be videotaped,
- 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,219 so put on your best friend faces,
- 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,470 and may the best friend win.
- 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,306 Oh, and we will be needing a $10-per-person entrance fee.
- 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,684 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:29,228 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,413 [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,332 Order 23 is up, and, uh, order 24 is up.
- 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,001 [ Bell chimes ]
- 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,253 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,016 Uh, waitress, I actually ordered the chicken soup.
- 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:07,850 This is minestrone.
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,893 Yeah. I had the minestrone over here.
- 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:12,354 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,026 I am Professor Chaos,
- 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:20,029 and now this puny world w-will bow down to me!
- 00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,781 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,454 [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,538 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,540 So today, we went to the amusement park
- 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,875 with all our possible friends.
- 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,917 It was a really fun time.
- 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,878 We rode all the rides, and everyone got along great.
- 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,048 I think the person that stood out most at the amusement park was Jimmy.
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,133 JIMMY: Well, the -- the reason I think I would make
- 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:44,553 the perfect fourth friend is that I love telling jokes.
- 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,055 You know who doesn't like to laugh?
- 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,140 Tweek -- Now, there's an interesting choice.
- 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,642 Tweek has a lot of qualities that I look for in a friend.
- 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,062 What if they don't pick me? What if they get us all, man?
- 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,272 I mean, Christ, if they can get to the Pentagon,
- 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,940 they can get to us all, man!
- 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:57,441 Aah!
- 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,318 I think I deserve to take Kenny's place the most
- 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,904 because I've been hanging around these guys for like five years,
- 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,655 and I never get to say or do anything.
- 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,991 Yeah, I've always seen that kid in class,
- 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,076 but he never does anything.
- 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,243 He's more like a prop.
- 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,078 Towelie is a tough choice,
- 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,996 because even though I can see how always having a towel around
- 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,415 could come in handy, he's just always so high.
- 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,584 Yeah, I really hope I win because --
- 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,628 Wait. What is this again?
- 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,963 I have no idea what's going on.
- 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,840 We decided to get some one-on-one time with Jimmy
- 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:22,633 and ride the log ride.
- 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,259 The great thing was that because Jimmy's crippled,
- 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,762 we got to go to the front of the line.
- 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,931 That was definitely big points for Jimmy, you know?
- 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,266 But then we got to the ride itself and...
- 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,936 Hey, I-I'm gonna need some help getting in the log, fellas.
- 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,605 Oh, shut her down. Someone needs assistance.
- 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,024 Oh, really? That's gonna cost some points.
- 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,276 Right now I'd say if we're gonna have a retard for a friend,
- 00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,611 I'd have to pick Timmy,
- 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,113 because Timmy doesn't tell lame jokes.
- 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,949 Boy, isn't this great, fellas? A-Are we great pals or what?
- 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:47,950 One thing's for sure --
- 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,119 Picking our new friend isn't gonna be easy.
- 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,537 [ Music ends ]
- 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:54,790 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:06:58,919 --> 00:06:59,795 Kneel!
- 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,798 Kneel before Professor Chaos!
- 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,427 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,306 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:14,143 Oh, the look on their faces when they got the wrong soup.
- 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,645 I love bringing chaos!
- 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,525 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,527 And that is only the beginning.
- 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,863 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,240 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,325 All right, everyone. It was a tough decision.
- 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,661 But based on our time with you all at the amusement park,
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,496 we have whittled our choices down to 10.
- 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,831 If you receive a rose, please stay.
- 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,249 If you don't, please get the fudge out.
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,668 Kyle, will you announce the people we want to stay?
- 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,752 Token.
- 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,754 Clyde.
- 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:44,923 Craig.
- 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,718 Timmy. - Timmy!
- 00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:49,845 Oh, man, this is too much pressure!
- 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:50,762 Pip.
- 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:52,931 Jimmy.
- 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,476 Jason.
- 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,936 Towelie.
- 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,105 Luigi.
- 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,775 Just one rose left, Kyle. Who does it go to?
- 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:05,903 Tweek.
- 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:06,570 Aah!
- 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,238 All right. The rest of you, thanks for coming.
- 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:09,531 Get the fudge out.
- 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,866 [ Groaning ]
- 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,702 I didn't make the cut? Oh, God! I didn't make the cut?!
- 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,038 I didn't even get a chance to have them get to know me!
- 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,207 Alright! Congratulations to those of you selected to stay.
- 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,376 In the end, one of you will be the new Kenny.
- 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:22,794 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,962 Good luck.
- 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,093 Good morning, Butters.
- 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,220 It certainly is, Mother.
- 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,888 Did you hear about what's been going on?
- 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,264 Some horrible new supervillain
- 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:37,434 made somebody get the wrong soup order at Bennigan's.
- 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,061 No. I didn't hear about that.
- 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,313 Y-You didn't?
- 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,233 Dad, could -- could I see the newspaper real quick?
- 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:44,900 Well, sure, Butters.
- 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,528 I was just about to get some breakfast.
- 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,033 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,496 Nothing.
- 00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,206 Nothing!
- 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,166 It's the liberal media.
- 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,418 They're keeping the stories of my deeds covered up
- 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,795 so as not to cause a panic.
- 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:08,507 Well, then I guess it's time to step it up a notch!
- 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,594 [ "South Park" segue music plays ]
- 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,346 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,515 Okay. Next.
- 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:22,020 [ "South Park" segue music plays ]
- 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:26,775 This looks pretty good.
- 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,236 Yeah, it's not bad. Next.
- 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,033 [ "South Park" segue music plays ]
- 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,953 Timmy!
- 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:38,954 Next.
- 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,622 [ Bell rings ]
- 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,957 Okay, so now we're gonna see
- 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,459 how you all work as a friend during class time.
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,044 Your performances will be judged primarily
- 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,005 on how you help us cheat and give us answers.
- 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,131 So good luck, everybody!
- 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,340 Sit down, boys.
- 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,466 All righty, then.
- 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,467 All right, children.
- 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,302 Before we get started,
- 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,555 has anybody seen the eraser for the chalkboard?
- 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,808 [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,643 It probably got knocked on the floor somewhere.
- 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,645 Can you all please just look around your desks for it?
- 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,939 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,484 [ Thinking ] Yes. Look around for your precious eraser.
- 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,485 You won't find it.
- 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,987 That eraser is in my backyard,
- 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,156 buried three feet below the surface of the earth.
- 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,325 And do you even suspect me? No.
- 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,702 Now we shall see how you all like your dear chalkboard
- 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:19,828 without an eraser,
- 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,664 with information that just keeps piling up and piling up
- 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,000 until your minuscule brains can take it no longer!
- 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,668 No? Oh, well, never mind.
- 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,337 I've got a backup one in the desk.
- 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:29,004 Okay.
- 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,173 Children, we're gonna learn about multiplying times five.
- 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,342 [ Thinking ] So...you all think you can outsmart
- 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,676 Professor Chaos, do you?
- 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,678 Now, whenever we multiply a number times five,
- 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,680 the result is going to end in a zero or five.
- 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,682 Ms. Choksondik? - What is it, Butters?
- 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,185 Uh, I need to go to the bathroom really bad.
- 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,771 All right, Butters. Take the bathroom pass and go.
- 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,733 Okay. So for instance, children --
- 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,568 All right. I'm going to the bathroom now.
- 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695 If anybody needs me, that's where I'll be.
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,155 Just go, Butters.
- 00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,702 Okay. So for instance, five times one is what, Eric?
- 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,120 Uh, what's the question again?
- 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,289 Five times one.
- 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,542 Five times one is, of course...
- 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,960 [All ] Five.
- 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:09,544 Five!
- 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,380 [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,591 The time for fun and games is over, feebleminded fools!
- 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,967 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:16,760 Who are you?
- 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,220 I am Professor Chaos,
- 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,472 bringer of destruction and maker of doom!
- 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,058 Those who do not know me yet shall know me very soon,
- 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,061 for the hour of chaos i-is at hand!
- 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:29,648 [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,567 Hey! That kid took my last eraser!
- 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,735 Come back here, kid!
- 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,570 Well, I-I'm back from the bathroom.
- 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,072 I really let one go in there.
- 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,241 Butters, did you see another little kid run out of here?
- 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,242 Why, yes, I did.
- 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,244 But he pushed me down, and I scraped my elbow.
- 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,663 Go on. Look at it. It's scraped. Look.
- 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,583 [ Thinking ] Yes. Go on and see the red mark on my elbow --
- 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,751 the red mark I made myself
- 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,254 to throw you off Professor Chaos' trail.
- 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,255 It looks fine, Butters.
- 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,841 Okay. Hold on and stay here, children.
- 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,678 [ Bell rings ]
- 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,096 You're such a fat ass, Cartman!
- 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,806 Oh, yeah? Well, you're a stupid Jew!
- 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,725 Shut up, fat ass!
- 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:09,187 Oh. Uh...you guys are dumb.
- 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,107 Okay. Craig. Interesting choice.
- 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,775 Powerful stuff there, Craig. Thank you very much.
- 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,278 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,114 It is almost complete -- the creation of my minions
- 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,451 who will assist me in bringing terror to the world.
- 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,369 There we go.
- 00:12:26,163 --> 00:12:29,291 Yes. My minions of -- of chaos.
- 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,709 [ Squeaking ]
- 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,128 Shh. Not -- Not now, my lovelies.
- 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,214 Your time to bring d-destruction will come very soon.
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:37,799 Aah!
- 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,343 Butters, a note for you was left on the front door.
- 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:41,470 A note? - Here you go.
- 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,680 And wash your hands after you touch those hamsters.
- 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,891 You'll get AIDS. - Okay, Mom.
- 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,395 [ Suspenseful music plays ]
- 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:58,236 So, someone has discovered my horrible secret.
- 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,655 This could be a trap set by the FBI.
- 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,158 Oh, I'll be at the docks, precious FBI,
- 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,160 but it is I who will have the trap set for you!
- 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,913 Come, my minions. We haven't much time.
- 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:10,332 All right, everyone.
- 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,335 The time has come for us to narrow the list from 10 to 6.
- 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,004 But first let us just say that the people who we didn't pick
- 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,591 were only not picked because they totally suck balls. Kyle?
- 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,383 [ British accent ] They're not going to pick me.
- 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,593 I just know they're not.
- 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,345 Oh, Jesus! I-I can't take it!
- 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,262 Token.
- 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,055 All right!
- 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,098 Timmy. - Timmy!
- 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,099 Tweek.
- 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,018 Pip.
- 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,728 Really? I don't believe it!
- 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,063 Towelie.
- 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,022 What?
- 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,565 Just one more rose, Kyle.
- 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,441 Jimmy.
- 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,401 Oh, boy! Oh, thank God!
- 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:39,736 Those with roses will move on
- 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,613 to the swimsuit and talent competition.
- 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,115 The rest of you, get the fudge out!
- 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,909 This whole thing is stupid!
- 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,452 You don't pick people you want to be with
- 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:48,703 by making it into a game!
- 00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,956 Ooh! Somebody's a sore loser.
- 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,750 Clyde, I believe I said get the fudge out,
- 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,377 which means kiss my fudgin' ass,
- 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,880 go fudge yourself, fudge you, get the fudge out, Clyde.
- 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,384 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,475 Hey, Butters.
- 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,309 Oh, hey, Dougie --
- 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,728 Uh, I mean -- My name is Professor Chaos!
- 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,230 I saw you change in the school bathroom.
- 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,232 You stole that eraser in your class.
- 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,066 Very well!
- 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,442 You've called out Professor Chaos,
- 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070 and you also called out your own demise!
- 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,822 Go now, my minions! [ Squeaking ]
- 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,074 Go and take this foolish mortal down!
- 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,285 Aw, minions. Not -- Not that way.
- 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,327 Come back, minions.
- 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,913 I'm not trying to call you out, Professor Chaos.
- 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,249 I want to join you.
- 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,083 Join me?
- 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,794 Yeah, I want to join you in your conquest of destruction.
- 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:38,795 But why?
- 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:39,921 I'm an outcast, too,
- 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,007 a frail child cast aside by society.
- 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,926 I want to follow you in... whatever you're doing.
- 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,596 Very well. You shall be my accomplice in evil.
- 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,098 Together we shall bring the world to its knees
- 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,601 a-and make all those who banished us from society
- 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:53,435 run...wrecked.
- 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,979 Do I get a neato costume made out of aluminum foil, too?
- 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,105 Well, sure, you do.
- 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,608 I am professor, and you shall be my general.
- 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,319 From now on, you are General...Disarray.
- 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,445 General Disarray.
- 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,113 Now let us go look for my minions!
- 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,532 'Cause they ran away here. Can't find 'em.
- 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,535 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,872 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,542 The swimsuit competition really gave us a fresh look
- 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,461 at some of the candidates.
- 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,463 Well, I don't think I did too well
- 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,964 in the bathing-suit competition.
- 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,883 But I can't wait for the talent-show competition.
- 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,385 That'll really be my chance to s-shine.
- 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,471 Wow. What a terrific audience.
- 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,640 So anyway, a guy walks into a b...
- 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,975 A guy walks into a b-ba...
- 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,020 A guy walks -- A guy walks into a b-baa...
- 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,649 [ Playing "Stairway to Heaven" slowly, off-key ]
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,359 [ Music stops ] Okay. Wait.
- 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,653 [ Music resumes ]
- 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,155 [ Feedback ]
- 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,240 No, no. Wait.
- 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:54,663 Next, please.
- 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,831 W-What am I supposed to do?
- 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:57,832 Anything that'll impress us, Token.
- 00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,669 If you were our friend, how would you keep us entertained?
- 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,254 Uh... Oh! I know!
- 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,511 Very nice. - I like it.
- 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,513 Token was the definite winner of the talent show.
- 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,181 Then we decided to take everyone to a baseball game
- 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,225 to see how we got along there.
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,851 [Announcer ] There goes a hit to left field!
- 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,186 And Foley's going to score!
- 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,188 - [ Crowd cheering ] - Yeah! Isn't this great?
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940 Drinks! Get your drinks here!
- 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,525 Yes. Could I have some tea, please?
- 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,193 You don't drink tea at a baseball game,
- 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,277 you French piece of crap!
- 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,238 Oh. Very well. Just some crumpets, then.
- 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,532 All right! That does it! Pip, get the fudge out!
- 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,200 Next!
- 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,202 Okay. Let's try this.
- 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,539 [ Static, frequency modulating ]
- 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,040 Hey, what's wrong with the Jumbotron?
- 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,417 People of Earth!
- 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,044 Your meaningless lives are about to end!
- 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,713 I am Professor Chaos,
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,966 and this is my partner in evil, General Disarray.
- 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,218 In the past few days, I have rained terror down
- 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,095 upon the society that shunned me,
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,724 and now it is time for my final labor of loathing.
- 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:59,728 I am going to...flood the world!
- 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,146 - Flood the world? - My God!
- 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,648 I don't want to die. I don't want to die!
- 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,399 Oh, yes.
- 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,651 Every living creature and every sacred building
- 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:10,405 will soon be under leagues and leagues of cold and dark water.
- 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,574 And there is nothing you can do to stop it!
- 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,952 General Disarray, begin the flooding of Earth!
- 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,413 [ Squeaking ]
- 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,666 You brought this upon yourselves!
- 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,918 You made the outcasts of the w-world.
- 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:27,505 Now watch -- watch as your precious planet drowns!
- 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:28,798 Watch!
- 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:32,093 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,429 Dear Christ, who will save us?
- 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,014 We have very little time to live.
- 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:39,059 How shall we spend our last hours on Earth?
- 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,853 Yeah! - All right!
- 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,606 [All cheering ]
- 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,692 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,028 Our reign of terror is complete!
- 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:53,698 The t-turmoil has now come full circle!
- 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,788 Hey, is the hose on full, General Disarray?
- 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:00,872 It's on all the way.
- 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,165 Oh. All right, then.
- 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,793 N-Nothing to do now but watch the world die!
- 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,003 [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,714 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,551 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,722 Boy, this sure is taking a long time.
- 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,229 So how do we all feel about Towelie as our new friend?
- 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,313 I think Towelie is awesome.
- 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,023 Towelie's cool, but he gets stoned all the time.
- 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,566 You can't really rely on him for anything.
- 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,068 Oh, this is giving me a headache.
- 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,027 Come on, you guys.
- 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,487 We can't take this decision lightly.
- 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,988 Whoever we pick is going to be the person
- 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,490 we do everything with from now on.
- 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,699 You're right. How about Timmy?
- 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,243 He's quiet and takes direction well --
- 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,244 really the perfect friend.
- 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,663 Yeah, but Timmy can be really self-centered.
- 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,998 How about Token? Token's a smart ass.
- 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,333 So? You're a smart ass.
- 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,085 Yeah, but do we really need another one?
- 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,211 Good point. [ Door opens ]
- 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,712 Hey, fellas, I was just in the neighborhood,
- 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,048 and thought I'd stop by this g-gift basket.
- 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,341 Oh, thanks, Jimmy.
- 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,343 There's some chocolates and I-licorice
- 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,679 and some games and p-puzzles inside.
- 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:58,680 That's great. - Cool.
- 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,015 Yeah. Well, I guess I'll be seeing y-you friends later.
- 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,767 All right, Jimmy. See ya.
- 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:03,852 [ Door closes ] Suck-up.
- 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,688 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,694 Not long now, General Disarray,
- 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,780 and our horrible plan will be complete.
- 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,784 Hey, do you think maybe we should build a boat --
- 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,870 you know, like a little raft or something
- 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,079 so that when the world floods,
- 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,206 you and me and the minions can live?
- 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,583 Oh, yeah. I hadn't thought of that.
- 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,295 That's a pretty good idea. I'll go get a hammer.
- 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,380 Hey. Who is that?
- 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,633 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,601 Is this it? - Yeah. 213. That's the one.
- 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,561 [ Squeaking ]
- 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,856 Hey! W-What are you doing?
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,528 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,823 [ Tires screech ]
- 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,411 Ah! You may have won this time, but I will be back!
- 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,579 What do we do now?
- 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,081 Well, I had another idea of how to kill the world.
- 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,792 I thought it was almost too horrible to even speak of.
- 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:13,838 But -- But now they have left me with no other choice!
- 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,423 Well, this is it.
- 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,591 We have made our final decision,
- 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,135 and one of you is who we will be spending our childhood with
- 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,136 as our new friend.
- 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,431 Oh, p-please. Oh -- Oh, God, p-please.
- 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,600 Four friends. Just one rose.
- 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,354 The moment of truth is here. Kyle, who does the rose go to?
- 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,940 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,691 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:38,029 This is it, General Disarray -- my final solution.
- 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,157 What evil plot do you have this time, Professor Chaos?
- 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,283 Simple, my dear general.
- 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,703 We are going to tear down the earth's precious atmosphere!
- 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,371 Oh, yes.
- 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,456 My latest plan will melt the polar ice caps
- 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,291 a-and burn all the world with the --
- 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,877 with the sun's harmful rays.
- 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:56,297 Say goodbye to your precious ozone and hello to chaos!
- 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,591 [ Hissing ]
- 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,639 [ Hissing slows, stops ]
- 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,473 [ Rattling ]
- 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,476 Okay. Hand me another one, General Disarray.
- 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,562 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,566 [ Laughing evilly ]
- 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,238 MAN: Will Professor Chaos's latest plot succeed
- 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,156 and be the final undoing of Earth?
- 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,658 And which boy has been chosen
- 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,702 to be the replacement for Kenny?
- 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,997 And which of these six South Park residents was killed
- 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,832 and will never be seen again?
- 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,668 The answer to those questions will be answered...
- 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:34,419 right now.
- 00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:38,506 No. Tweek. Ms. Choksondik.
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