Спасём телятину — Друзья видят на ферме маленьких телят, понимают, что после этого зрелища они не смогут есть телятину, и решают спасти их от смерти.

Предыдущая серия S06 E03 Забастовка уродов

Следующая серия S06 E05 Ждём новый фильм Терренса и Филлипа

Спасём телятину

Fun With Veal

Сезон: 06Серия: 04

Описание

Друзья видят на ферме маленьких телят, понимают, что после этого зрелища они не смогут есть телятину, и решают спасти их от смерти.

Субтитры

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,971 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,140 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,021 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,153 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:29,071 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:36,787 Okay, children.
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,289 Step off the bus and form a group
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,583 next to the nice redneck -- I mean rancher.
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,335 Hello, boys and girls. My name is Rancher Bob.
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,962 Let's all say hello to Rancher Bob.
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,547 Hi, Rancher Bob.
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:49,133 I'm pleased to show you all the wonderful world of beef.
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,509 Follow me.
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,762 City kids get to go to museums for field trips.
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:53,929 We get cow farms.
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,806 Now, out here, you can see our cattle.
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,391 This is where the magic begins
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,644 as the cows eat, sleep, and prepare for certain death.
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,190 They look so delicious.
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,358 Now, here we have the slaughterhouse.
00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:09,779 This is where we turn the cows into steaks and burgers!
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:10,738 Ew!
00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:11,739 Aw, dude!
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,616 Anybody want a free sample?
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,784 Me! Me! Me! Me!
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:18,662 And in here, boys and girls, we have our veal ranch.
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,258 You see, with veal, the whole key is keeping the cows chained
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,427 so they can't walk around or get any exercise.
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,638 That way, their muscle tissue stays soft
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,556 and makes for tender veal.
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,851 Wait a minute. Veal is...little baby cows?
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:41,852 Yepper!
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,521 Then why the hell do they call it "veal"?
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,189 Well, if we called it "little baby cow",
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:46,315 people might not eat it.
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,234 Yeah! I wouldn't have! - Uh, me neither.
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,693 Oh, man! Look at that one!
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,987 It looks delicious! - What?
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,447 Mmm. Succulent and juicy.
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,032 Can we have a free sample of these, too?
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:55,991 Well, no.
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,244 But all these veals are going to the slaughterhouse
00:01:58,369 --> 00:01:59,078 tomorrow morning.
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,412 They'll be steaks by the afternoon,
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,206 and then you can buy them at your grocery store.
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,207 All right!
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,458 Tomorrow morning?
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,463 Dude, we got to help them.
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,464 Yeah.
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,139 Psst! Cartman.
00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:19,890 No! Uncle Jesse! No!
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:20,933 Cartman, wake up!
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,893 What? What the hell are you guys doing?
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,895 Come on! We got to go! - Where are we going?
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,981 We're gonna go save the little baby cows, fat ass.
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:27,815 What? Why?
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,525 'Cause they're gonna get slaughtered tomorrow, butthole!
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,276 So?
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:31,443 So we can't let 'em die, douchebag.
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:32,903 You're our friend. Now, come help us.
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,073 Well, in the last 3.2 seconds, you've called me "fat ass",
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,324 "butthole", and "douchebag".
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,410 I really don't feel much like you guys' friend.
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,995 We're sorry. You <i>are</i> our friend.
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,205 We need you to help us because friends stick together.
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:43,831 Wait.
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,583 I thought you said we needed him because he has
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,918 the "<i>Mission: Impossible</i> Breaking-and-Entering Playset".
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,545 Damn it, Butters. Will you shut up?
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,462 Oh-ho!
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:51,463 So you need me
00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,591 and my "<i>Mission: Impossible</i> Breaking-and-Entering Playset".
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:54,758 Yes, we do.
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,343 We're those little baby cows' only hope.
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,344 Will you help us?
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,305 Yes. Yes, I will.
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,931 If Kyle will kiss my black ass.
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:01,849 What?!
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,601 Just give it a little kiss, and I'll help.
00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:04,602 Screw you, Cartman!
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:05,769 Okay, but if you want my help,
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,229 you have to give it just a little kiss.
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,063 Kiss it.
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,732 Go on, dude. It's the only way. - No!
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,150 Kiss it. Come on. Kiss it!
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,693 Just do it really fast, and we can go.
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,112 Have Butters kiss it. - No. It has to be Kyle.
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,077 Aah!
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,414 Oh, man! That was so awesome!
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,458 Sick! I felt it on my face!
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,084 Okay. Very funny, Cartman. Now, come on.
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,628 I'm not going with you.
00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,630 Aah! - Hey!
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,551 I don't know about this, fellas.
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:38,385 It says right here
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,387 on the "<i>Mission: Impossible</i> Breaking-and-Entering Playset"--
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,806 "Not for actual breaking and entering.
00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,725 Breaking and entering is a crime."
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,185 Well, killing little helpless baby cows
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,186 should be a crime, too.
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,395 How does this thing work, Cartman?
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,147 Jesus. Don't you guys have any toys?
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,899 First you put on the black ski mask
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,860 and use the torch to cut a hole in the roof.
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,120 Okay. That's far enough.
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,039 - I'm going to go delta. - You have to talk louder!
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,123 I forgot the AA batteries
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,708 for the Super Talk Play-Action headset.
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,543 I said that's far enough!
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,259 Don't be scared, little baby cow.
00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:20,344 We're here to set you loose.
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,012 There you go. You're free!
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,056 Run away!
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,766 Go! They're gonna murder you!
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,143 Stan, could you hurry it up? I'm freezing my ass off.
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,812 You need to freeze some of your ass off.
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,563 At least I have an ass, Jew!
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:32,523 What?
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:36,652 Come on, you stupid baby cows!
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:38,904 You have to get out of here!
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,658 What's the matter? - They aren't leaving!
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,619 See? Maybe they want to become sweet, juicy veal steaks.
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,538 Hey, they've never been allowed to walk before.
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:48,622 They just don't know how!
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,791 Oh, yeah. They're too weak to move.
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,419 We've got to get them out of here.
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,545 We'll keep them at Butters' house
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:55,754 until they can get their strength back.
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,131 No, no, no, no, no!
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,590 I can't bring calves into my house.
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,384 I'll get grounded. - Okay. Fine, Butters.
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,677 I guess you're not a team player.
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,803 We'll bring them to my house.
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,014 Dude, how are we gonna move 23 calves to your house?
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,724 I don't know. - I've got it!
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:07,933 We could kill Butters
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,935 and then float the calves on a river of blood.
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:10,936 Don't be stupid, Cartman!
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,313 Butters doesn't have that much blood in him.
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:13,480 Yeah! I do too!
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,524 We're just gonna have to carry them one by one.
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,610 Come on, you guys.
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,537 Check it out, you guys. I'm calf curling.
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,253 Man, these calves smell like crap.
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,547 I don't see how you're gonna hide them much longer.
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,548 We won't have to.
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,591 Butters said he had something
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:41,967 that makes baby cows strong again.
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:42,968 He's bringing it over.
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,261 Butters had that at his house?
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,346 Hey, fellas!
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,972 Butters, did you bring it?
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:47,931 I sure did!
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:50,100 We'll have those poor baby cows in shape in no time!
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,143 All right!
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,020 "Suzanne Somers Calf Exerciser".
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:53,937 What?
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,940 "Makes your calves stronger in just two days."
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:59,401 Oh, God damn it! That's your plan?
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,861 You think it's a gimmick?
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,364 Suzanne promises right on the box that it works.
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,201 Hello, Mrs. Marsh!
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:09,161 Officer Barbrady. What can I do for you?
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,913 Well, we've got a little problem.
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,623 Jed here caught your boy and his friends
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,083 trespassing on his ranch.
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,918 They stole some of his property.
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,753 Stole? A-Are you sure?
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,339 I followed a calf-curling trail right to your house, ma'am.
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,175 Ooh, Stan's in trouble! Let me kick his ass, Mom!
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,219 N-Now, my son is not a thief.
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,596 I'm sure this is just some kind of misunderstanding.
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,768 Stanley, did you see --
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,770 Oh, crap!
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,605 Stanley, what are you doing with those calves?
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,607 That asshole was gonna kill them and feed them to people!
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,359 Stanley, they belong to him.
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,652 They don't belong to anybody!
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,237 Please, Mom! We don't want these cows to die!
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,238 Let me hit him, Mom!
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,031 Stanley, this isn't up for discussion.
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,616 The rancher is going to take his cows back,
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,244 and you don't have a choice.
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:56,875 Stanley!
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,545 Stanley, open this door right now, or you're gonna get it!
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:00,212 No!
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,964 Stan, you're behaving like a kid.
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,215 You're the ones who made me eat veal
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,299 without telling me what it was!
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,384 You're the ones who knew
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,969 we were making little baby animals suffer!
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,470 Open this door now!
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,513 Kiss my ass!
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,598 Oh, geez. He said "ass" to his parents.
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,308 You're getting in pretty deep, dude.
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,353 I apologize for this, Mister rancher person.
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:19,106 Why don't you just tell them that the cows will be safe?
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,774 And when they come out, I can take 'em back.
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,317 I can't lie to my son, okay?
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,695 If I betrayed him like that, I'd pay for it the rest of my life.
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:25,904 Well, that's just too bad!
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,115 Look, that's $800 worth of veal up there,
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,575 and I have to ship it out Friday!
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,493 What are you going to do, Officer Barbrady?
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,871 Me? How'd I get into this mess?
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,415 So, what happens now?
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,208 I'm gonna lock myself in here with these cows
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,210 until we have a guarantee of their safety in writing.
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,712 We're with you, dude. - Yeah!
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,838 Don't be so sure.
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,257 Because I'm gonna tell you -- This is gonna get ugly.
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,341 Real ugly.
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,093 When all is said and done, you could all be looking
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,471 at being grounded for three, perhaps even four weeks.
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,890 So if any of you guys want out, just say the word now.
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,391 I want out. - Shut up, Cartman.
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,642 We're with you, Stan. - Yeah.
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,811 We can't let those little baby cows down.
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,396 They've got no one else to turn to.
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,273 Then it's settled. One for all and all for one!
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,274 Except Cartman.
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:02,858 Yeah! - Yeah!
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,151 Yeah! Wait. What?
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,198 And so that's the situation.
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,241 Our boys have locked themselves in Stan's room
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,577 until we can promise the calves will live free, in writing.
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,120 Well, this is ridiculous.
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,747 I don't know how you raise <i>your</i> kids,
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:19,291 but my son does not play negotiator with me!
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,375 Well, excuse me, Sheila,
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,710 but it wasn't that simple. - Ha!
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,464 Give me 15 seconds with Kyle, and I'll have that door open.
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,884 Kyle, this is your mother!
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,386 You will open this door right now!
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:32,513 No, I won't.
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,389 Yes. I see what you mean, Sheila.
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,474 That was very impressive.
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,267 Kyle, if you don't do as you're told,
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,269 I'm going to be very angry!
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,480 Well, you made me eat veal and didn't tell me what it was!
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:45,025 So go ahead and be angry, you baby-cow-killing bitch!
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,026 Very persuasive.
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,278 Aah! Open this door! Open this door!
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,947 Oh, let -- let me try.
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,490 Butters?
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325 Butters, this is your father.
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,202 Oh, sweet Jesus. What do I do?
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,995 Be strong, Butters. You knew it would come to this.
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,580 Butters, answer me.
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,332 But -- But Dad's a-angry at me.
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,167 Don't panic. I'll tell you what to say.
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,794 Butters, right now!
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:07,047 Dad, uh, why don't you suck my fat one?
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,924 What?! - Oh, sweet Jesus.
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,634 What's gotten into them? - All right, Stanley.
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,053 This has gone on long enough. Your little game is over!
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,096 This isn't a game, Mom.
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,348 We're not coming out until we know the calves will be safe.
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,266 Well, that's fine.
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,309 You boys can just stay in there and starve to death.
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,728 Us parents are going to go to Pizza Shack
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,814 and have pepperoni pizzas and ice cream.
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,941 Oh, God damn it, you guys.
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,568 Cartman, stay away from that door!
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,736 You'll have to come out sooner or later, boys.
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,656 The longer you wait, the more trouble you'll be in.
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,242 Aah!
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,452 Round one is over. We made it.
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,371 We didn't make it. Your mom is right, douchebag.
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,998 What are we gonna do, stay in here until we starve?
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,291 Our parents would never let us starve.
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,167 They're bluffing. This is a battle of wills.
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,919 If we hold out long enough, they'll give in.
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,337 But we <i>will</i> have to sleep, dude.
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,047 Three of us can sleep while one keeps watch.
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,465 We'll shift every couple of hours.
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,051 Hey, this is gonna be just like Vietnam, huh, fellas?
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:53,885 Whoopie!
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,596 We'll stay in this room with these baby cows
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,514 for as long as it takes!
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,690 Well, we tried everything.
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,234 We can't get through the door without tearing apart the house.
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,486 Dear God! It's been over 13 hours.
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,239 Oh, but my poor little poopsie must be getting so hungry.
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,866 Maybe we should get them a little food.
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,743 Ms. Cartman, this is a battle of will.
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,412 We need our boys to know that we're not gonna cave in at all.
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,788 Oh, all right.
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,915 Let's just go to bed and let them play their little game
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,167 for as long as they can.
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,504 Good night, fellas! - Good night.
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,423 Good night, Patches. Good night, Halloway.
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,258 Good night, Neptune. Good night, Davis.
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,426 Good night, Bud.
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,136 Good night, Red. Good night, Paulette.
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,387 Good night, Chastity.
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:40,390 Butters, I'm going to kill you over and over again.
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,191 Can't go on.
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,567 Need...food.
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,903 I didn't realize hunger made you feel so bad.
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,488 There's only one alternative, you guys.
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:55,906 We're gonna have to eat a calf.
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,574 No, Cartman, we're not eating a calf.
00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,077 All right! Then we're gonna have to eat Butters.
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,244 He might be right, dude.
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,287 Aw, heck.
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,831 Wait. What is that?
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,458 Dude! - Food!
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,127 Ms. Cartman, what are you doing?
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,630 Ooh, I just can't stand to see my baby suffer.
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,840 Oh, dear God. You've ruined everything!
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:14,591 All right!
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,301 See? Now we can hold out for weeks!
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,053 Look, you guys! Beef jerky!
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,138 - Yeah! And fried chicken! - Wha--?
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,348 - Mmm! - Mmm!
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,974 Dude, what are you guys doing?
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,351 We're eating, dude.
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,519 You're eating meat!
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,437 What the hell do you think we're doing all this for?
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,648 Hey, I'm doing it to save little baby cows.
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,316 I'm not gonna stop eating meat altogether.
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,442 - Me neither. - Yeah.
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,277 If you don't eat meat at all, you become a pussy.
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,238 That's fine. You guys can live off of flesh.
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,698 But I'm never eating meat again.
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,157 Go ahead. That's more for us.
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,742 You want some beef jerky, buddy?
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,827 Yes. Who's your buddy?
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,328 Who's hungry? Who's a hungry man?
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,706 Dude, that's messed up.
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,716 You guys, check this out!
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,384 Tom, I'm standing in front of the house
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,679 where four insane boy terrorists have barricaded themselves
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,515 inside a room with 23 live infant cattle.
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,599 Hey, look!
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,144 Some other kids are doing the same thing we are!
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,479 Several attempts to break into the room
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,274 have proven unsuccessful, Tom, and the crisis is intensifying.
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,900 Here's what some people had to say.
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,318 We were just sleeping,
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,070 when suddenly we heard all the commotion.
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,072 I mean, to think this could happen right here
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,615 in our own community.
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,576 We gave those kids everything,
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,036 and they turned into little John Walkers.
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,747 The police chief of South Park
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:29,416 says that there will be no negotiations with terrorists.
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:31,835 Oh, no. This is big-time trouble now, fellas.
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,420 No. This is exactly what we wanted.
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,130 It is? - Yes. Don't you see?
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,757 This validates everything that we're doing.
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:37,758 If we're making the news,
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,092 this is obviously important to people.
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,052 Tom, it looks like I have an update.
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,305 Yes, it looks like the boy-terrorist story
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,599 is not interesting news to anyone.
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,476 Uh, nothing else was going on, Tom,
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,728 so this was the only story we had to make seem important,
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,480 but people are just simply tuning out.
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,690 So HBC will now be switching programming
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,985 once again to "Puppies From Around the World"!
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,588 I don't believe it.
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,424 The Chinese puppy is my favorite so far!
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:27,516 Butters?
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,309 B-Butters, you have your arm around me!
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,311 Oh, sorry. I thought you were Mr. Pickles.
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,396 ♪ We must help the helpless ♪
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,690 ♪ We must save the unsaved ♪
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:36,817 What the hell is that?
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,819 ♪ For if we fight together ♪
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,779 ♪ We can make sure the road is paved ♪
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,906 ♪ For a brighter tomorrow... ♪
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,658 Hippies! - What are they doing here?
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:45,867 We are with you, boys!
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,578 Your message is real and your fight is just!
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,123 Dude, those gaywads are on <i>our</i> side?
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,875 Ew! They're all dirty.
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:54,960 What did I tell you, Stan?
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,545 We saved some baby cows from being eaten,
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,464 and now we're no-good, dirty Goddamn hippies!
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,385 Tom, the calf-terrorist standoff continues,
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:08,181 as now members of the FBI arrive to put an end to the conflict.
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,474 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,934 Who's in charge here?
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,644 I am. But I don't want to be.
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,854 Where's the negotiator?
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:16,398 Right here -- Glen Dumont, negotiator squad.
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,691 All right. See what you can do.
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,820 - Dude, are you okay? - Oh, I just feel so run down.
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:22,821 I don't know what's wrong with me.
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031 - I've got these sores. - What is that?
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,700 - Dude, maybe we should end this. - No!
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,369 Get me a hard line to the phone in that house.
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,495 The terrorists already said
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,247 there's no way they're coming out.
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,748 Don't worry. I'm a negotiator.
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333 It's my job to talk to freaks like this
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,960 and bring about a peaceful resolution
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,920 using clever psychology.
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,006 Hello?
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,633 Hello. My name is Mike. I'm a negotiator.
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,218 Is it okay if I talk to you?
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,928 Uh, hold on. It's some negotiator named Mike.
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,471 What do I do? - Don't give him anything!
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,390 What do I say? - Aw, give me that.
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,641 Talk to me, Mike.
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,935 I'm here to make sure we can all end this peacefully.
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,228 You want that, right?
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,479 Sure, sure.
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,731 How about we make a trade
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,524 just to show that we can trust each other?
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,609 What'd you have in mind?
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,445 Well, how about you send out one of the calves?
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,363 Oh, Mike. You're breaking my balls here, Mike.
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,823 Just one. That's all we want.
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,074 All right. How about this?
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,826 You guys have all the leverage, and we have nothing.
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,369 So how about we give you one calf --
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,287 Cartman, no! - Dude!
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,121 It's cool.
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,290 We'll give you one calf if you'll give us
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,958 some guns and ammunition of our own.
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,418 What? I-I can't do that!
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,711 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking here.
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:20,962 But I guess you're not talking to me. Goodbye.
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,672 No, no. Wait. I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,841 Y-You're right. What reason do you have to trust me?
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,135 I'm just a guy from Lakewood trying to make ends meet.
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,970 Just a blue-collar guy like your dad.
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,597 Don't have a dad, Mike. That's not gonna work.
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:34,267 Oh. All right. Some guns. I'll see what I can do.
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,145 Okay. Up a little.
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,856 Left a little. Almost there.
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:40,857 What is that?
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,443 We're giving the boys some guns in return for a calf.
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,320 What? - You're giving my baby guns?
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,572 Hey, this is a negotiation process, okay?
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,324 Did you people go to negotiator school?
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,492 No, you didn't!
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,243 Get 'em on the line for me.
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995 Hello?
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,039 Okay. You see that? I keep my end of the bargain.
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,124 All right. We'll keep ours. We'll send out one calf.
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,585 Well, h-how about you send out two calves?
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,088 Oh, Jesus! There's just no talking to you, is there, Mike?
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,091 We had a deal. Do you think I'm stupid?
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,425 Don't treat me like I'm stupid here!
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,510 I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,678 Damn it! I'm losing them!
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,930 Okay. I'm sorry. Just send out one calf.
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,140 Oh, no, no, no. Now you're gonna have to get us something else.
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,225 What'd you have in mind?
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,896 A little to the left.
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,565 Okay. That's good. A little to the right.
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:23,984 You're giving them a missile?!
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,986 Stand down, ma'am! Stand down!
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,571 This is a delicate process. I've almost earned their trust.
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,490 Stan's getting worse, you guys.
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,326 Mike. Babe. - How we doing?
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:34,577 We got a real sick kid here, Mike.
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,787 Did you get the other things for us?
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,956 I-I did manage to get the FDA
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,543 to officially change the word "veal" to "tortured baby cow."
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,377 Good. Good.
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,754 But I couldn't get you North and South Dakota.
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,007 Oh, Mike. Breaking my balls, Mike.
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,342 Now -- Now, please, can -- Can we get you to come out?
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,555 All right. Everything has worked out.
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,265 The boys have promised to come out
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,683 and bring the cows out with them.
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,143 All right! - Whoo-hoo!
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,937 I'm sorry I doubted your abilities, Mr. Negotiator.
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,647 They're coming out now? - Yes.
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,232 All we need to do in return is get
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,651 a cattle-transporting semitruck that will take the boys
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,236 and the cattle to Denver International Airport,
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,738 where we will have a fully gassed airplane
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,322 waiting to take them all to Mexico.
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:11,990 What?
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,200 And they want the guy that plays Mr. Worf on "Star Trek"
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,786 to drive the truck -- in full makeup.
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,163 Jesus Christ!
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,372 All right. That does it!
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,499 You are, in fact, the worst negotiator
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,168 I've ever seen in action!
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,711 All right. All right. I'll give you that.
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,921 But in return, I want three staples.
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:27,922 Get out of here!
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,174 We'll get them the semi,
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,176 and we'll get them the Worf guy from "Star Trek."
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:34,054 If they see that, they'll come out, and then we can take them.
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,430 But isn't that dishonest?
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,431 Maybe so.
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,932 But if we don't do something soon,
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,893 there could be 50, even 60 people
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,770 who'll have to go without veal for dinner.
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,397 Are you prepared to let that happen?
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,072 All right. Where is Mr. Dorn?
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,782 I was woken up at 3:00 in the morning,
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,784 told I had to put on makeup and come to this town.
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:56,910 What the hell is going on?
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,912 I'm sorry, Mr. Dorn. It's FBI business.
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,331 We've got terrorists making demands, and we need your help.
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,916 This is highly unusual.
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,209 All right, boys. We have your truck.
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,878 And we have an airplane on the tarmac at Denver International.
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:07,879 And Worf?
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,091 My name is Michael Dorn. I play a character called Worf.
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,258 Stan, it worked!
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:13,510 It did?
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,637 They got us a truck and an airplane and Mr. Worf!
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,305 The calves are gonna be okay!
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,599 Pick me up. I-I want to see.
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,899 Step back! Tell those men to step back!
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,400 Do it!
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,366 Aw, shut up, you friggin' hippies.
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,035 All right, Mr. Worf.
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,370 Start the engine and put her in gear.
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,455 Oh, and you must refer to me as "Captain".
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,124 Where am I supposed to drive to?
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,208 No, see, you must say,
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,043 "Captain, where am I supposed to drive to?"
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,171 Captain, where am I supposed to drive to?
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,965 You're going to back the truck up to the door
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,383 so we can safely load in the calves.
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:54,843 This whole thing is ridiculous.
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,220 "Captain, this whole thing is ridiculous."
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,848 Captain, this whole thing is ridiculous.
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,310 Okay! All set!
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,979 Tom, it looks as though the terrorists
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,149 are now loading the baby cows into the back of a semi.
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,734 This is still very uninteresting news, Tom.
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,861 Okay, Cartman!
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,904 Step on it, Mr. Worf!
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,447 All right!
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:17,782 We're going!
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,117 Mexico, here we come!
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,874 Wait a minute. They're following us!
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,250 Full speed, Mr. Worf!
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,711 We cannot keep going fast on these icy roads.
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,338 "Captain, we cannot keep going fast on these icy roads."
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,216 Captain, we cannot keep going fast on these icy roads.
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,217 All right, Mr. Worf.
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,260 Then reduce speed to 45
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,095 but maintain distance from those police cruisers.
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,056 Stan, we're almost there. You've got to hold on.
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,810 All right. They're in front of the cattle ranch.
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,020 Hit it!
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,568 Oh, it's a double cross!
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,403 All right, boys. The game is over.
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,030 Get out of the truck with your hands up.
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,115 Oh, no. No!
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,950 What are you waiting for? Go kill them, Worf!
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,535 I'm not killing anybody.
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,787 Some goddamn Klingon you are.
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,670 We're sorry, cows. We tried. We tried.
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:13,671 All right, boys.
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,882 Just stay right there until your parents arrive.
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:16,799 Can I go now?
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:20,511 Here you go, Mr. Rancher. I got your cattle back for you!
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,764 Oh. Well, it doesn't matter now.
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,765 What do you mean?
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,433 In the 24 hours since the word "veal"
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,019 was officially changed to "little tortured baby cow,"
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,562 the market has gone dry.
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,522 Seems when people see "little tortured baby cow"
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,358 on their menus, they don't feel like ordering.
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,025 Really?
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,693 Damn things ain't worth spit now.
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,403 I'll let 'em live outside with the other cows
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,571 and live a normal life.
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:39,948 You hear that, Stan? It worked!
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,116 We've shut down the veal industry!
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,326 Stan?
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,744 Stan?
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,081 He's very lucky you got him here when you did.
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:50,541 He was in a very advanced state of vaginitis.
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:51,876 Vaginitis?
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,045 It occurs when a person stops eating meat.
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,464 Those sores on his skin were actually small vaginas.
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,966 If we hadn't stopped it in time,
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,592 Stan would've eventually just become
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,511 one great big, giant pussy.
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:02,637 Whoa, dude.
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,305 We've got an I.V. of pure beef blood
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,683 pumping into Stan's veins, and the sores are fading.
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,309 Thank God we stopped it in time.
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,769 Well, I guess we learned something today.
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,853 It's wrong to eat veal
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,647 because the animals are so horribly mistreated.
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,108 But if you don't eat meat at all, you break out in vaginas.
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,025 Hear, hear.
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,777 All right, boys. It's time to go home.
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,988 You've got some serious grounding time to start.
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,198 I'll say! - Aw, we're still grounded?
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,826 But -- But we -- we learned things and took up a cause.
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,036 Yes, Kyle, but you still defied your parents.
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,039 And you need to learn that terrorism is never the answer.
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,333 That's right. Let's get these terrorists to their rooms.
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,086 But first maybe we can grab some burgers.
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,546 Alright!!

00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,971 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,140 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,021 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,153 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:29,071 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,575 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:36,787 Okay, children.
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,289 Step off the bus and form a group
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,583 next to the nice redneck -- I mean rancher.
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,335 Hello, boys and girls. My name is Rancher Bob.
00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:44,962 Let's all say hello to Rancher Bob.
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,547 [All ] Hi, Rancher Bob.
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:49,133 I'm pleased to show you all the wonderful world of beef.
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,509 Follow me.
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,762 City kids get to go to museums for field trips.
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:53,929 We get cow farms.
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,806 Now, out here, you can see our cattle.
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,391 This is where the magic begins
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,644 as the cows eat, sleep, and prepare for certain death.
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,190 They look so delicious.
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,358 Now, here we have the slaughterhouse.
00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:09,779 This is where we turn the cows into steaks and burgers!
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:10,738 [All ] Ew!
00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:11,739 Aw, dude!
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,616 Anybody want a free sample?
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,784 Me! Me! Me! Me!
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:18,662 And in here, boys and girls, we have our veal ranch.
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,457 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,214 [ Calves mooing softly ]
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:31,258 You see, with veal, the whole key is keeping the cows chained
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,427 so they can't walk around or get any exercise.
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,638 That way, their muscle tissue stays soft
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,556 and makes for tender veal.
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:40,851 Wait a minute. Veal is...little baby cows?
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:41,852 Yepper!
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,521 Then why the hell do they call it "veal"?
00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,189 Well, if we called it "little baby cow",
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:46,315 people might not eat it.
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,234 Yeah! I wouldn't have! - Uh, me neither.
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,693 Oh, man! Look at that one!
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,987 It looks delicious! - What?
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,447 Mmm. Succulent and juicy.
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,032 Can we have a free sample of these, too?
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:55,991 Well, no.
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,244 But all these veals are going to the slaughterhouse
00:01:58,369 --> 00:01:59,078 tomorrow morning.
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,412 They'll be steaks by the afternoon,
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,206 and then you can buy them at your grocery store.
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,207 All right!
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,458 Tomorrow morning?
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,794 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,463 Dude, we got to help them.
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,464 Yeah.
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:16,762 [ Knocking ]
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,139 Psst! Cartman.
00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:19,890 No! Uncle Jesse! No!
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:20,933 Cartman, wake up!
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,893 What? What the hell are you guys doing?
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,895 Come on! We got to go! - Where are we going?
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,981 We're gonna go save the little baby cows, fat ass.
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:27,815 What? Why?
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,525 'Cause they're gonna get slaughtered tomorrow, butthole!
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,276 So?
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:31,443 So we can't let 'em die, douchebag.
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:32,903 You're our friend. Now, come help us.
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,073 Well, in the last 3.2 seconds, you've called me "fat ass",
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,324 "butthole", and "douchebag".
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,410 I really don't feel much like you guys' friend.
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,995 We're sorry. You <i>are</i> our friend.
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,205 We need you to help us because friends stick together.
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:43,831 Wait.
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,583 I thought you said we needed him because he has
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,918 the "<i>Mission: Impossible</i> Breaking-and-Entering Playset".
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,545 Damn it, Butters. Will you shut up?
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,462 Oh-ho!
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:51,463 So you need me
00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:53,591 and my "<i>Mission: Impossible</i> Breaking-and-Entering Playset".
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:54,758 Yes, we do.
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,343 We're those little baby cows' only hope.
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,344 Will you help us?
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,305 Yes. Yes, I will.
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,931 If Kyle will kiss my black ass.
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:01,849 What?!
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,601 Just give it a little kiss, and I'll help.
00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:04,602 Screw you, Cartman!
00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:05,769 Okay, but if you want my help,
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,229 you have to give it just a little kiss.
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,063 Kiss it.
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,732 Go on, dude. It's the only way. - No!
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,150 Kiss it. Come on. Kiss it!
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,693 Just do it really fast, and we can go.
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,112 Have Butters kiss it. - No. It has to be Kyle.
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,406 [ Insects chirping ]
00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:21,243 [ Farts ]
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,077 Aah!
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,204 [ Laughs ]
00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,414 Oh, man! That was so awesome!
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,458 Sick! I felt it on my face!
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,084 Okay. Very funny, Cartman. Now, come on.
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,628 I'm not going with you.
00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,630 Aah! - Hey!
00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:35,299 [ Spy music plays ]
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,551 I don't know about this, fellas.
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:38,385 It says right here
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,387 on the "<i>Mission: Impossible</i> Breaking-and-Entering Playset"--
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,806 "Not for actual breaking and entering.
00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,725 Breaking and entering is a crime."
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,185 Well, killing little helpless baby cows
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,186 should be a crime, too.
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,395 How does this thing work, Cartman?
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,147 Jesus. Don't you guys have any toys?
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,899 First you put on the black ski mask
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,860 and use the torch to cut a hole in the roof.
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,196 [ Hissing ]
00:03:57,321 --> 00:04:00,950 [ Spy music continues ]
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,535 [ Calves mooing softly ]
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,120 Okay. That's far enough.
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,039 - I'm going to go delta. - You have to talk louder!
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,123 I forgot the AA batteries
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,708 for the Super Talk Play-Action headset.
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,543 I said that's far enough!
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,297 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,632 [ Moos ]
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,259 Don't be scared, little baby cow.
00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:20,344 We're here to set you loose.
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,012 There you go. You're free!
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,056 Run away!
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,766 Go! They're gonna murder you!
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,143 Stan, could you hurry it up? I'm freezing my ass off.
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,812 You need to freeze some of your ass off.
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,563 At least I have an ass, Jew!
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:32,523 What?
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:36,652 Come on, you stupid baby cows!
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:38,904 You have to get out of here!
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,406 [ Insects chirping ]
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,658 What's the matter? - They aren't leaving!
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,619 See? Maybe they want to become sweet, juicy veal steaks.
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,538 Hey, they've never been allowed to walk before.
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:48,622 They just don't know how!
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,791 Oh, yeah. They're too weak to move.
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,251 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,419 We've got to get them out of here.
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,545 We'll keep them at Butters' house
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:55,754 until they can get their strength back.
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,131 No, no, no, no, no!
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,590 I can't bring calves into my house.
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,384 I'll get grounded. - Okay. Fine, Butters.
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,677 I guess you're not a team player.
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:02,803 We'll bring them to my house.
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,014 Dude, how are we gonna move 23 calves to your house?
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,724 I don't know. - I've got it!
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:07,933 We could kill Butters
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,935 and then float the calves on a river of blood.
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:10,936 Don't be stupid, Cartman!
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,313 Butters doesn't have that much blood in him.
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:13,480 Yeah! I do too!
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,524 We're just gonna have to carry them one by one.
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,610 Come on, you guys.
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:19,528 [ Grunts ]
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,197 [ Spy music plays ]
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,537 Check it out, you guys. I'm calf curling.
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,498 [ Calf moos ]
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,253 Man, these calves smell like crap.
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,547 I don't see how you're gonna hide them much longer.
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,548 We won't have to.
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,591 Butters said he had something
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:41,967 that makes baby cows strong again.
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:42,968 He's bringing it over.
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,261 Butters had that at his house?
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,346 Hey, fellas!
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,972 Butters, did you bring it?
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:47,931 I sure did!
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:50,100 We'll have those poor baby cows in shape in no time!
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,143 All right!
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,020 "Suzanne Somers Calf Exerciser".
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:53,937 What?
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,940 "Makes your calves stronger in just two days."
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:59,401 Oh, God damn it! That's your plan?
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,861 You think it's a gimmick?
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,364 Suzanne promises right on the box that it works.
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,201 Hello, Mrs. Marsh!
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:09,161 Officer Barbrady. What can I do for you?
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,913 Well, we've got a little problem.
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,623 Jed here caught your boy and his friends
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,083 trespassing on his ranch.
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,918 They stole some of his property.
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,753 Stole? A-Are you sure?
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,339 I followed a calf-curling trail right to your house, ma'am.
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,175 Ooh, Stan's in trouble! Let me kick his ass, Mom!
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,219 N-Now, my son is not a thief.
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,596 I'm sure this is just some kind of misunderstanding.
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,768 Stanley, did you see --
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,770 Oh, crap!
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,605 Stanley, what are you doing with those calves?
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,607 That asshole was gonna kill them and feed them to people!
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,359 Stanley, they belong to him.
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,652 They don't belong to anybody!
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,237 Please, Mom! We don't want these cows to die!
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,238 Let me hit him, Mom!
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,031 Stanley, this isn't up for discussion.
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,616 The rancher is going to take his cows back,
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,244 and you don't have a choice.
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,581 [ Carol gasps, door locks ]
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:56,875 Stanley!
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,545 Stanley, open this door right now, or you're gonna get it!
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:00,212 No!
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,964 Stan, you're behaving like a kid.
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,215 You're the ones who made me eat veal
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,299 without telling me what it was!
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,384 You're the ones who knew
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,969 we were making little baby animals suffer!
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,470 Open this door now!
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,513 Kiss my ass!
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,598 Oh, geez. He said "ass" to his parents.
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,308 You're getting in pretty deep, dude.
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,353 I apologize for this, Mister rancher person.
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:19,106 Why don't you just tell them that the cows will be safe?
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,774 And when they come out, I can take 'em back.
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,317 I can't lie to my son, okay?
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,695 If I betrayed him like that, I'd pay for it the rest of my life.
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:25,904 Well, that's just too bad!
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,115 Look, that's $800 worth of veal up there,
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,575 and I have to ship it out Friday!
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,493 What are you going to do, Officer Barbrady?
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,871 Me? How'd I get into this mess?
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,415 So, what happens now?
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,208 I'm gonna lock myself in here with these cows
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,210 until we have a guarantee of their safety in writing.
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,712 We're with you, dude. - Yeah!
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,838 Don't be so sure.
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,257 Because I'm gonna tell you -- This is gonna get ugly.
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,341 Real ugly.
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,093 When all is said and done, you could all be looking
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,471 at being grounded for three, perhaps even four weeks.
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,890 So if any of you guys want out, just say the word now.
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,391 I want out. - Shut up, Cartman.
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:55,642 We're with you, Stan. - Yeah.
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,811 We can't let those little baby cows down.
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,396 They've got no one else to turn to.
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,273 Then it's settled. One for all and all for one!
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,274 Except Cartman.
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:02,858 Yeah! - Yeah!
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,151 Yeah! Wait. What?
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,198 And so that's the situation.
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,241 Our boys have locked themselves in Stan's room
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,577 until we can promise the calves will live free, in writing.
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,120 Well, this is ridiculous.
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,747 I don't know how you raise <i>your</i> kids,
00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:19,291 but my son does not play negotiator with me!
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,375 Well, excuse me, Sheila,
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,710 but it wasn't that simple. - Ha!
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,464 Give me 15 seconds with Kyle, and I'll have that door open.
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,884 Kyle, this is your mother!
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,386 You will open this door right now!
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:32,513 No, I won't.
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,389 Yes. I see what you mean, Sheila.
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,474 That was very impressive.
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,267 Kyle, if you don't do as you're told,
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,269 I'm going to be very angry!
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,480 Well, you made me eat veal and didn't tell me what it was!
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:45,025 So go ahead and be angry, you baby-cow-killing bitch!
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,026 Very persuasive.
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,278 Aah! Open this door! Open this door!
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,947 Oh, let -- let me try.
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,490 Butters? [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325 Butters, this is your father.
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,202 Oh, sweet Jesus. What do I do?
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,995 Be strong, Butters. You knew it would come to this.
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,580 Butters, answer me.
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,332 But -- But Dad's a-angry at me.
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,167 Don't panic. I'll tell you what to say.
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,794 Butters, right now!
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:07,047 Dad, uh, why don't you suck my fat one?
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,924 What?! - [ Butters ] Oh, sweet Jesus.
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,634 What's gotten into them? - All right, Stanley.
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,053 This has gone on long enough. Your little game is over!
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,096 This isn't a game, Mom.
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,348 We're not coming out until we know the calves will be safe.
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,266 Well, that's fine.
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,309 You boys can just stay in there and starve to death.
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,728 Us parents are going to go to Pizza Shack
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,814 and have pepperoni pizzas and ice cream.
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,941 Oh, God damn it, you guys.
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,568 Cartman, stay away from that door!
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:29,736 [ Stan's Mom ] You'll have to come out sooner or later, boys.
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,656 The longer you wait, the more trouble you'll be in.
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,242 Aah!
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,452 [ Sighs ] Round one is over. We made it.
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,371 We didn't make it. Your mom is right, douchebag.
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,998 What are we gonna do, stay in here until we starve?
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,291 Our parents would never let us starve.
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,167 They're bluffing. This is a battle of wills.
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:45,919 If we hold out long enough, they'll give in.
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,337 But we <i>will</i> have to sleep, dude.
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,047 Three of us can sleep while one keeps watch.
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,465 We'll shift every couple of hours.
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,051 Hey, this is gonna be just like Vietnam, huh, fellas?
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:53,885 Whoopie!
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,596 We'll stay in this room with these baby cows
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,514 for as long as it takes!
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,355 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,690 Well, we tried everything.
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,234 We can't get through the door without tearing apart the house.
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,486 Dear God! It's been over 13 hours.
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:14,239 Oh, but my poor little poopsie must be getting so hungry.
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,866 Maybe we should get them a little food.
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,743 Ms. Cartman, this is a battle of will.
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,412 We need our boys to know that we're not gonna cave in at all.
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,788 Oh, all right.
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,915 Let's just go to bed and let them play their little game
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,167 for as long as they can.
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,504 Good night, fellas! - Good night.
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,423 Good night, Patches. Good night, Halloway.
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,258 Good night, Neptune. Good night, Davis.
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,426 Good night, Bud.
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,136 Good night, Red. Good night, Paulette.
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,387 Good night, Chastity.
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:40,390 [ Cartman ] Butters, I'm going to kill you over and over again.
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:41,433 [ Insects chirping ]
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,061 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,481 [ Calves mooing ]
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:49,191 Can't go on.
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,567 Need...food.
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,903 I didn't realize hunger made you feel so bad.
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,488 There's only one alternative, you guys.
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:55,906 We're gonna have to eat a calf.
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,574 No, Cartman, we're not eating a calf.
00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,077 All right! Then we're gonna have to eat Butters.
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:01,244 He might be right, dude.
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,287 Aw, heck.
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,831 Wait. What is that?
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,458 Dude! - Food!
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,127 Ms. Cartman, what are you doing?
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,630 Ooh, I just can't stand to see my baby suffer.
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,840 Oh, dear God. You've ruined everything!
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:14,591 All right!
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,301 See? Now we can hold out for weeks!
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,053 Look, you guys! Beef jerky!
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,138 - Yeah! And fried chicken! - Wha--?
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,348 - Mmm! - Mmm!
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,974 Dude, what are you guys doing?
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,351 We're eating, dude.
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,519 You're eating meat!
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,437 What the hell do you think we're doing all this for?
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,648 Hey, I'm doing it to save little baby cows.
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,316 I'm not gonna stop eating meat altogether.
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,442 - Me neither. - Yeah.
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,277 If you don't eat meat at all, you become a pussy.
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,238 That's fine. You guys can live off of flesh.
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,698 But I'm never eating meat again.
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,157 Go ahead. That's more for us.
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,742 You want some beef jerky, buddy?
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,827 Yes. Who's your buddy?
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,328 Who's hungry? Who's a hungry man?
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,706 Dude, that's messed up.
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,755 [ News theme music plays ]
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,716 You guys, check this out!
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,384 Tom, I'm standing in front of the house
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,679 where four insane boy terrorists have barricaded themselves
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,515 inside a room with 23 live infant cattle.
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,599 Hey, look!
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,144 Some other kids are doing the same thing we are!
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:07,769 [ Grunts ]
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,479 Several attempts to break into the room
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,274 have proven unsuccessful, Tom, and the crisis is intensifying.
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,900 Here's what some people had to say.
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,318 We were just sleeping,
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,070 when suddenly we heard all the commotion.
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,072 I mean, to think this could happen right here
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,615 in our own community.
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,576 We gave those kids everything,
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,036 and they turned into little John Walkers.
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,747 The police chief of South Park
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:29,416 says that there will be no negotiations with terrorists.
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:31,835 Oh, no. This is big-time trouble now, fellas.
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,420 No. This is exactly what we wanted.
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:35,130 It is? - Yes. Don't you see?
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,757 This validates everything that we're doing.
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:37,758 If we're making the news,
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,092 this is obviously important to people.
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,052 Tom, it looks like I have an update.
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,305 Yes, it looks like the boy-terrorist story
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,599 is not interesting news to anyone.
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,476 Uh, nothing else was going on, Tom,
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,728 so this was the only story we had to make seem important,
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,480 but people are just simply tuning out.
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,690 So HBC will now be switching programming
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,985 once again to "Puppies From Around the World"!
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,029 [ Bagpipes playing ]
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,031 [Asian lute playing ]
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,033 [ Violin playing ]
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,035 [ Men singing in African dialect ]
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,037 [ Flute playing ]
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,206 [ Mandolin playing ]
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:12,417 [ Mariachi music playing ]
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,588 I don't believe it.
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,424 The Chinese puppy is my favorite so far!
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,761 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:27,516 Butters?
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,309 B-Butters, you have your arm around me!
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,311 Oh, sorry. I thought you were Mr. Pickles.
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,396 MEN AND WOMEN: ♪ We must help the helpless ♪
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,690 ♪ We must save the unsaved ♪
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:36,817 What the hell is that?
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,819 ♪ For if we fight together ♪
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,779 ♪ We can make sure the road is paved ♪
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,906 ♪ For a brighter tomorrow... ♪
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,658 Hippies! - What are they doing here?
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:45,867 We are with you, boys!
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,578 Your message is real and your fight is just!
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,163 [ Cheering ]
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,123 Dude, those gaywads are on <i>our</i> side?
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,875 Ew! They're all dirty.
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:54,960 What did I tell you, Stan?
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,545 We saved some baby cows from being eaten,
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:59,464 and now we're no-good, dirty Goddamn hippies!
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,385 [ Newscaster ] Tom, the calf-terrorist standoff continues,
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:08,181 as now members of the FBI arrive to put an end to the conflict.
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,474 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,934 Who's in charge here?
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,644 I am. But I don't want to be.
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,854 Where's the negotiator?
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:16,398 Right here -- Glen Dumont, negotiator squad.
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,691 All right. See what you can do.
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,276 [ Coughs, sniffles ]
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,820 - Dude, are you okay? - Oh, I just feel so run down.
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:22,821 I don't know what's wrong with me.
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,031 - I've got these sores. - What is that?
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,700 - Dude, maybe we should end this. - No!
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,369 Get me a hard line to the phone in that house.
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,495 The terrorists already said
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,247 there's no way they're coming out.
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,748 Don't worry. I'm a negotiator.
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333 It's my job to talk to freaks like this
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,960 and bring about a peaceful resolution
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,920 using clever psychology.
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,006 - [ Telephone rings ] - Hello?
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,633 Hello. My name is Mike. I'm a negotiator.
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,218 Is it okay if I talk to you?
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,928 Uh, hold on. It's some negotiator named Mike.
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,471 What do I do? - Don't give him anything!
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,390 What do I say? - Aw, give me that.
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:51,641 Talk to me, Mike.
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,935 I'm here to make sure we can all end this peacefully.
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,228 You want that, right?
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,479 Sure, sure.
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:57,731 How about we make a trade
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,524 just to show that we can trust each other?
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,609 What'd you have in mind?
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,445 Well, how about you send out one of the calves?
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,363 Oh, Mike. You're breaking my balls here, Mike.
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,823 Just one. That's all we want.
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,074 All right. How about this?
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,826 You guys have all the leverage, and we have nothing.
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,369 So how about we give you one calf --
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,287 Cartman, no! - Dude!
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,121 It's cool.
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,290 We'll give you one calf if you'll give us
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,958 some guns and ammunition of our own.
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,418 What? I-I can't do that!
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,711 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking here.
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:20,962 But I guess you're not talking to me. Goodbye.
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,672 No, no. Wait. I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,841 Y-You're right. What reason do you have to trust me?
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,135 I'm just a guy from Lakewood trying to make ends meet.
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,970 Just a blue-collar guy like your dad.
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,597 Don't have a dad, Mike. That's not gonna work.
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:34,267 Oh. All right. Some guns. I'll see what I can do.
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,145 Okay. Up a little.
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,856 Left a little. Almost there.
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:40,857 What is that?
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,443 We're giving the boys some guns in return for a calf.
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,320 What? - You're giving my baby guns?
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,572 Hey, this is a negotiation process, okay?
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,324 Did you people go to negotiator school?
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,492 No, you didn't!
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,243 Get 'em on the line for me.
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,995 [ Telephone rings ] Hello?
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,039 Okay. You see that? I keep my end of the bargain.
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,124 All right. We'll keep ours. We'll send out one calf.
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,585 Well, h-how about you send out two calves?
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,088 Oh, Jesus! There's just no talking to you, is there, Mike?
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,839 [ Moans ]
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,091 We had a deal. Do you think I'm stupid?
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,425 Don't treat me like I'm stupid here!
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,510 I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,678 Damn it! I'm losing them!
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,930 Okay. I'm sorry. Just send out one calf.
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,140 Oh, no, no, no. Now you're gonna have to get us something else.
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,225 What'd you have in mind?
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,896 A little to the left.
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,565 Okay. That's good. A little to the right.
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:23,984 You're giving them a missile?!
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,986 Stand down, ma'am! Stand down!
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,571 This is a delicate process. I've almost earned their trust.
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,490 Stan's getting worse, you guys.
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:31,491 [ Telephone rings ]
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,326 Mike. Babe. - How we doing?
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:34,577 We got a real sick kid here, Mike.
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:35,787 Did you get the other things for us?
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,956 I-I did manage to get the FDA
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,543 to officially change the word "veal" to "tortured baby cow."
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:42,377 Good. Good.
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,754 But I couldn't get you North and South Dakota.
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,007 Oh, Mike. Breaking my balls, Mike.
00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,342 Now -- Now, please, can -- Can we get you to come out?
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,555 All right. Everything has worked out.
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,265 The boys have promised to come out
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,683 and bring the cows out with them.
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,143 All right! - Whoo-hoo!
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,937 I'm sorry I doubted your abilities, Mr. Negotiator.
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,647 They're coming out now? - Yes.
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,232 All we need to do in return is get
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,651 a cattle-transporting semitruck that will take the boys
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,236 and the cattle to Denver International Airport,
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,738 where we will have a fully gassed airplane
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,322 waiting to take them all to Mexico.
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:11,990 What?
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,200 And they want the guy that plays Mr. Worf on "Star Trek"
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,786 to drive the truck -- in full makeup.
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,163 Jesus Christ!
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,372 All right. That does it!
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,499 You are, in fact, the worst negotiator
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,168 I've ever seen in action!
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,711 All right. All right. I'll give you that.
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,921 But in return, I want three staples.
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:27,922 Get out of here!
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,174 We'll get them the semi,
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,176 and we'll get them the Worf guy from "Star Trek."
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:34,054 If they see that, they'll come out, and then we can take them.
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,430 But isn't that dishonest?
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,431 Maybe so.
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,932 But if we don't do something soon,
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,893 there could be 50, even 60 people
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,770 who'll have to go without veal for dinner.
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,397 Are you prepared to let that happen?
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,195 [ Indistinct talking on radio ]
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,072 All right. Where is Mr. Dorn?
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,782 I was woken up at 3:00 in the morning,
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,784 told I had to put on makeup and come to this town.
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:56,910 What the hell is going on?
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,912 I'm sorry, Mr. Dorn. It's FBI business.
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,331 We've got terrorists making demands, and we need your help.
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,916 This is highly unusual.
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,209 All right, boys. We have your truck.
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,878 And we have an airplane on the tarmac at Denver International.
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:07,879 And Worf?
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,091 My name is Michael Dorn. I play a character called Worf.
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,258 Stan, it worked!
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:13,510 [ Weakly ] It did?
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,637 They got us a truck and an airplane and Mr. Worf!
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,305 The calves are gonna be okay!
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,599 Pick me up. I-I want to see.
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,814 [ Guns cock ]
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,899 Step back! Tell those men to step back!
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,400 Do it!
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:30,902 [ Groaning ]
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,697 [ Cheering ]
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,366 Aw, shut up, you friggin' hippies.
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,035 All right, Mr. Worf.
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,370 Start the engine and put her in gear.
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,455 Oh, and you must refer to me as "Captain".
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,124 Where am I supposed to drive to?
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,208 No, see, you must say,
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,043 "Captain, where am I supposed to drive to?"
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,171 Captain, where am I supposed to drive to?
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,965 You're going to back the truck up to the door
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,383 so we can safely load in the calves.
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:54,843 This whole thing is ridiculous.
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,220 "Captain, this whole thing is ridiculous."
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,848 Captain, this whole thing is ridiculous.
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,725 [ Brakes hiss ]
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,310 Okay! All set!
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,979 [ Newscaster ] Tom, it looks as though the terrorists
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,149 are now loading the baby cows into the back of a semi.
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,734 This is still very uninteresting news, Tom.
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,861 Okay, Cartman!
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,904 Step on it, Mr. Worf!
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,447 [All ] All right!
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:17,782 We're going!
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,117 Mexico, here we come!
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,577 [ Horn blares ]
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:23,580 [ Sirens wailing ]
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,874 Wait a minute. They're following us!
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,250 Full speed, Mr. Worf!
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,711 We cannot keep going fast on these icy roads.
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,338 "Captain, we cannot keep going fast on these icy roads."
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,216 Captain, we cannot keep going fast on these icy roads.
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,217 All right, Mr. Worf.
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,260 Then reduce speed to 45
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:39,095 but maintain distance from those police cruisers.
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,056 Stan, we're almost there. You've got to hold on.
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:44,058 [ Dramatic music plays ]
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,810 All right. They're in front of the cattle ranch.
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,020 Hit it!
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:51,357 [ Tires screech ]
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,568 Oh, it's a double cross!
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,403 All right, boys. The game is over.
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,030 Get out of the truck with your hands up.
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,115 Oh, no. No!
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,950 What are you waiting for? Go kill them, Worf!
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,535 I'm not killing anybody.
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,787 [ Sighs ] Some goddamn Klingon you are.
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,417 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,670 We're sorry, cows. We tried. We tried.
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:13,671 All right, boys.
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,882 Just stay right there until your parents arrive.
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:16,799 Can I go now?
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:20,511 Here you go, Mr. Rancher. I got your cattle back for you!
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,764 Oh. Well, it doesn't matter now.
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,765 What do you mean?
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,433 In the 24 hours since the word "veal"
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,019 was officially changed to "little tortured baby cow,"
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:29,562 the market has gone dry.
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,522 Seems when people see "little tortured baby cow"
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,358 on their menus, they don't feel like ordering.
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,025 Really?
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,693 Damn things ain't worth spit now.
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,403 I'll let 'em live outside with the other cows
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,571 and live a normal life.
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:39,948 You hear that, Stan? It worked!
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,116 We've shut down the veal industry!
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,326 Stan?
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,744 Stan?
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,081 He's very lucky you got him here when you did.
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:50,541 He was in a very advanced state of vaginitis.
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:51,876 Vaginitis?
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:54,045 It occurs when a person stops eating meat.
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,464 Those sores on his skin were actually small vaginas.
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,966 If we hadn't stopped it in time,
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,592 Stan would've eventually just become
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,511 one great big, giant pussy.
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:02,637 Whoa, dude.
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,305 We've got an I.V. of pure beef blood
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,683 pumping into Stan's veins, and the sores are fading.
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,309 Thank God we stopped it in time.
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,769 Well, I guess we learned something today.
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,853 It's wrong to eat veal
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,647 because the animals are so horribly mistreated.
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,108 But if you don't eat meat at all, you break out in vaginas.
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,025 Hear, hear.
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,777 All right, boys. It's time to go home.
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,988 You've got some serious grounding time to start.
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,198 I'll say! - Aw, we're still grounded?
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:24,826 But -- But we -- we learned things and took up a cause.
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,036 Yes, Kyle, but you still defied your parents.
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,039 And you need to learn that terrorism is never the answer.
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,333 That's right. Let's get these terrorists to their rooms.
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,086 But first maybe we can grab some burgers.
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,546 [All ] Alright!!

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