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Забастовка уродов
Freak Strike
Сезон: 06Серия: 03
Описание
Друзья отправляют Баттерса на шоу уродов. Тот получает приз, но не делится с ними, и теперь выиграть приз старается Картман.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,140 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,021 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,153 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:29,030 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:32,533 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,202 Today on "The Maury Povich Show" --
- 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,537 these poor, unfortunate people
- 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,039 all have horrible disfigurements.
- 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:41,000 And you won't believe how we exploit them for your amusement!
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,126 That sounds pretty good.
- 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,377 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:44,378 Hey, Kenny!
- 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,546 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,006 That's awesome, Kenny.
- 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,467 Now, gosh darn it, fellas, my name's not Kenny.
- 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,010 - Kenny's dead. - Okay, not-Kenny.
- 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,762 I'm not gonna wear this coat anymore neither.
- 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,263 I should be able to be you guys' friend
- 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,598 without wearing Kenny's old coat.
- 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,640 Shh. Be quiet, not-Kenny.
- 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,975 The Maury Povich freak show is on.
- 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,226 Oh. All right, then.
- 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,020 Our next guest is a little girl
- 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,646 who was born without a midsection.
- 00:01:02,772 --> 00:01:04,273 Please welcome Damla Jones.
- 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,068 Hello, Maury!
- 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,569 Oh, sick, dude!
- 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,947 You're a very brave little girl, and I'm very proud of you.
- 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,115 Thank you.
- 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,367 Can you tell the audience how miserable your life is?
- 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,787 Uh, yes, it is.
- 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,371 You're a cutie.
- 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,665 Do the other kids at school sometimes make fun of you?
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:22,958 Sometimes.
- 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,585 Do people sometimes stare at you?
- 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,087 Sometimes.
- 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,756 Do they go, "Oh, gross. What the hell is that thing"?
- 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,257 Um, I don't know.
- 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,551 Well, your mommy told us you like to listen to music.
- 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,636 Yes.
- 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,012 Well, guess what, Damla.
- 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,640 We're gonna give you a $300 gift certificate
- 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,351 to CD World in Torrance!
- 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,519 All right, everyone. Stay tuned.
- 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:42,853 Because next we're gonna meet a woman
- 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,064 whose head was smashed in on a logger.
- 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,108 And we're gonna give her a makeover!
- 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,317 This is terrible, dude.
- 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,277 Maury Povich parades these poor people around on his show
- 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,278 like carnival freaks
- 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,280 and then gives them prizes at the end as if to justify it.
- 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,406 What a dick.
- 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,040 Dude, one of us should make up some disease
- 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,959 and get on "The Maury Povich Show" so we can get a prize.
- 00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,544 Cool! - Oh, yes!
- 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:07,711 That'd be awesome.
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:10,673 Do you think they'll believe it?
- 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,716 What disease should we say? - Shh. Be quiet, you guys.
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,635 Hello. Is this Maury Povich?
- 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,387 Oh. Well, who the hell are you?
- 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:17,304 Oh.
- 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,515 Well, I'm calling about your ad for freaks.
- 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,517 Right. I mean people with disabilities.
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,144 Yeah, I have a friend. He has a deformity.
- 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:25,062 I think he'd be perfect for your show.
- 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,313 Great!
- 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,481 His condition?
- 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:30,442 Uh, he has a condition called Chin-Ball-Alitis.
- 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,486 Yes, his balls actually hang from his chin.
- 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,739 S-Shut up, you guys.
- 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:36,740 Yes.
- 00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,492 Yes. Of course. He's very upset about it.
- 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:41,579 Yes, he cries all the time. Miserable. Uh-huh.
- 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,247 - You wa-- Really? - What?
- 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:44,957 Dude, they say they'll fly him out day after tomorrow!
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,000 Awesome! - Cool!
- 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,169 Yes, I'm sure I can convince him to come on the show.
- 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,462 There will, of course, be a prize involved?
- 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,631 Great. I'll call you back in an hour.
- 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,550 No. Thank <i>you.</i>
- 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:55,718 Yes!
- 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,012 This is gonna be so funny! - It sure is!
- 00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,930 But how are we gonna get the balls put on Butters' chin?
- 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,725 Yeah, how are we gonna -- Wait. Butters' chin?
- 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,393 Yeah. - But that's me.
- 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,644 I'm Butters. - We know.
- 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:06,645 You're the one doing it, Butters.
- 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,646 Who'd you think we were talking about?
- 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,398 Well, hold on just a second, you guys.
- 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,275 Hey, I know how we get the balls on Butters' chin.
- 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,776 Those Star Trek dorks down the street.
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,986 They're always making crazy masks
- 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,446 and special effects for their dumb movies.
- 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,780 Hang on, now. - Yeah!
- 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,282 I'll bet they could make a fake set of balls.
- 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,366 Come on, Butters! - Wait!
- 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,493 Why does it have to be me? - It has to be you, Butters.
- 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:22,494 Think about it. - Yeah.
- 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,288 But, fellas, if I go on "Maury Povich"
- 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,539 with-- with my balls on my chin,
- 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,041 my parents are gonna be really mad.
- 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,042 We'll just tell your parents
- 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:29,501 we're going on a camping trip with my parents.
- 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:31,003 They'll never know. - I'm sorry.
- 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:34,715 But the answer is unh-unh. Unh-unh, unh-unh.
- 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,676 Kenny would've done it.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,638 So? I told you guys before. I'm not Kenny.
- 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,431 We know. Believe me, we know.
- 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,350 We're reminded every day that you're not Kenny,
- 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:45,851 because Kenny was cool.
- 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,728 Yeah. God, I wish Kenny was still alive.
- 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,313 He'd put balls on his chin.
- 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,565 He was such an awesome friend.
- 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,942 Well, come on, guys.
- 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,277 If Butters won't even put balls on his chins for us,
- 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,612 I guess we know where we stand.
- 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,072 Yeah.
- 00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,073 Aw, gee whiz.
- 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,283 You -- You promise my mom and dad won't find out?
- 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,163 Now, we're going to apply the latex with some spirit gum.
- 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,165 That spirit gum sure is stinky.
- 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,166 Where'd you get the balls from?
- 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,876 We made a plastic mold of his chin
- 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,879 and then made a latex scrotum and put two golf balls inside.
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:14,755 Nice.
- 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,590 Now we just blend the skin tones,
- 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,634 add a little hair, and presto!
- 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:20,844 Wow!
- 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,096 That looks awesome!
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,597 Oh, I feel silly.
- 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,474 They look great on you, Butters. They really do.
- 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,018 I believe you owe us payment now.
- 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,063 All right. The original Avid cut of "Star Wars: Episode One."
- 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,315 Wow! - They weren't lying!
- 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,900 Why the hell would they want that anyway?
- 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,235 "Episode One" sucked balls.
- 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,861 Yeah, it sucked hairy Butters' chin balls.
- 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,738 Hey! Stop it, man!
- 00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:44,159 Gay Air flight 243 with service to New York
- 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,619 now ready for general boarding.
- 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,538 That's your flight, Butters. - Here's your ticket.
- 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,873 They're gonna have a car waiting for you at the gate in New York.
- 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,625 Wait. You guys aren't coming with me?
- 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,502 Hell no, dude. Then we couldn't watch you on TV.
- 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,421 Hold on a minute, guys. I've changed my mind.
- 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,338 I don't want to go.
- 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,590 God, isn't Butters awesome for doing this, you guys?
- 00:04:58,716 --> 00:04:59,842 Yeah, he sure is.
- 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,552 Doing all this to bring us back a prize.
- 00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,053 What a great friend.
- 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,097 Butt-ers! Butt-ers!
- 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,224 All right, then. See you guys tomorrow.
- 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,651 Thanks for coming on the show, kid.
- 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,403 Maury is very excited to meet you.
- 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,113 This is the greenroom, where you can hang out
- 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,699 with the other guests until we call for you on set.
- 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,702 Boy With Balls on Chin, this is Man With Foot on Head,
- 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,997 Girl With Rapid Aging Disease, Disfigured Country Singer,
- 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,457 and Man with No Face.
- 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,877 Wow. Scooped-Out-Face Guy. I've seen you on TV before.
- 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,296 Yes. This is my sixth appearance.
- 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,630 I'll come back in a bit, folks.
- 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:39,548 Hey, Roger,
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,842 what the hell is with these horrible veggie platters?
- 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,595 Yeah. We told you last time we want fresher vegetables.
- 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,597 I'm sorry. This is what the studio provides.
- 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:47,931 Just take a seat on the couch, kid.
- 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,725 I'll be back in a minute.
- 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,483 Boy With Balls on His Chin.
- 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:58,901 Haven't seen you around.
- 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,277 How long you been on the circuit?
- 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,404 What circuit? - The talk-show circuit.
- 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,114 Don't tell us this is your first one.
- 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,032 Well, yeah.
- 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,408 You've all done it more than once?
- 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,160 "Oprah" two times, "Jenny Jones" once,
- 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,953 "Sally Jessy" five times.
- 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,372 You've only done "Jenny" once?
- 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,415 Oh, I hate doing "The Jenny Jones Show".
- 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,292 They don't even have their own hair people.
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,585 I'm doing "Jenny" tomorrow.
- 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,462 Yeah. You picked a good show to do first, kid.
- 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,713 But you need to learn the ropes.
- 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,423 There are a lot of people like you all over the country,
- 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,050 and we all do talk shows for a living.
- 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,176 We all know each other
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,469 and we all kind of stick together
- 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,221 to make sure our industry is protected.
- 00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:30,474 Yeah, like when someone lies about being a freak.
- 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,060 Oh, they-- they do, huh?
- 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,645 Yeah, they'll make up a fake condition
- 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,064 to go on these shows and then take our money away.
- 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,358 We don't take kindly to that.
- 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,776 I can certainly see why.
- 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,903 It's okay. Folks don't do it anymore.
- 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:46,490 Not after they saw what we did to Lobster Boy.
- 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,075 Lobster Boy?
- 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,077 Yeah, Lobster Boy used to make appearances
- 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,662 on all the talk shows.
- 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,498 He was one of the most popular disfigured people on TV.
- 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,250 But then one day, we all found out
- 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,128 that Lobster Boy wasn't a real freak at all.
- 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,255 He was just an actual lobster.
- 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,965 Lying sack of crap.
- 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,092 So you know what we did to him? - What?
- 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,927 One night, all us freaks got together,
- 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,055 and we boiled him alive.
- 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,479 Now Lobster Boy is no more.
- 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,233 Oh. Yeah, I hate when people fake conditions, too.
- 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,651 Those stupid fakers.
- 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,445 We're glad you agree.
- 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,321 Okay, Boy With Balls on His Chin.
- 00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,031 You're up next.
- 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:30,451 Oh, Jesus. See me through this.
- 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,245 Today on "The Maury Povich Show,"
- 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,998 we bring back some of our favorite disfigured people
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,667 and introduce you to some new ones.
- 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,669 Here he comes! - This is gonna be awesome!
- 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,671 Our next guest suffers from a rare birth defect
- 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,924 which caused his testicles and scrotum to grow from his chin.
- 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,552 Testicles and scrotum!
- 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,388 Please welcome 8 1/2-year-old Napoleon Bonaparte
- 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:52,806 from South Park, Colorado.
- 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,145 Thanks so much for coming on our show.
- 00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,855 Oh, that's okay, I-I suppose.
- 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,983 So is it tough being... different?
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,109 Uh, yeah.
- 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,070 And do all the kids at school make fun of you?
- 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,489 They sure do!
- 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,741 They always say to me, "Butters, you're not Kenny."
- 00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,117 But I never said I was Kenny.
- 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,244 They say Kenny would do this and Kenny would do that.
- 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,121 Uh-oh. We're losing him. - I'm tired of it.
- 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,122 You hear me, fellas?
- 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,166 Kenny's dead, and you just have to deal with it.
- 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,336 Uh, yeah, but I mean, do the kids at school make fun of you
- 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:23,837 because of your condition?
- 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,130 What condition?
- 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,216 You have balls that hang off your chin.
- 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,634 I do?! Uh, oh.
- 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,135 I-I mean yeah, I do.
- 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,429 Uh, yeah, the kids at school make fun of me for that.
- 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,555 Whew! - That was close.
- 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,307 What names do they call you at school?
- 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,811 Oh, well, um, I guess they call me, uh, Chin Ball Boy
- 00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:42,064 and, uh, Ball Chin Boy.
- 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,733 When I'm walking, they'll say, "Hey, there goes Chin Balls."
- 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,031 And do they call you "freak" and -- and "weirdo"?
- 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,282 Uh, yeah, I suppose.
- 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,034 And do they point at you and laugh?
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,911 Do they make you wish you'd never been born,
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,995 make you wish to put an end
- 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,914 to the whole miserable, wretched earth?
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,749 Uh, sure.
- 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,085 Well, Napoleon, we have a surprise for you.
- 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,003 Wait. Here it is. Here it is. - The presents!
- 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,839 Because you are such a brave little chin-balled man,
- 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,467 we're gonna send you directly from this studio
- 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,470 to the world's largest putt-putt golf course in the world!
- 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,596 Oh, really?
- 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,014 Wow.
- 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,101 Did he say the largest putt-putt golf course in the world?
- 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,770 Go on. You're going right now.
- 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,188 But that's not fair.
- 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,856 That means Butters gets to go and we don't.
- 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,525 Yeah! We thought of the whole thing.
- 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,819 Oh! Once again, Butters is trying to screw us over!
- 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,778 That asshole!
- 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,156 Hello. Is this "The Maury Povich Show"?
- 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:33,991 Yes. Hello.
- 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,951 I'm calling because I saw your television program,
- 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,203 and I also have balls hanging from my chin.
- 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,205 I'd like to come talk about my disorder and perhaps get
- 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,165 a free trip to the largest putt-putt course in the world.
- 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,459 I'm sorry, but we're done doing freak shows for now.
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,211 We're looking for people for a new topic.
- 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,379 What's the new topic?
- 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,339 "Please Help my Out-of-Control Child."
- 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,383 Oh. Hey, I'm out of control.
- 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,217 Really?
- 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,552 Is your mother in tears every day
- 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,679 over how disobedient you are? - Uh, sure!
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,764 Does she worry about you doing drugs and having sex
- 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:58,807 at such a young age?
- 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,060 Yeah! Sure! I-I do crack and potpourri and g-greasies.
- 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,103 Well, that's great.
- 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,646 If you can get your mom to come with you,
- 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,772 we'd love to fly you out.
- 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,858 My -- My mom?
- 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,778 Mom.
- 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:12,821 Yes, sweetie?
- 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,489 Could you do me a favor?
- 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,158 What's that, my little man?
- 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,785 Could you, um, go on "The Maury Povich Show" with me
- 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,871 and say that I'm out of control and do drugs and have sex
- 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,039 so I can go to the largest
- 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,957 putt-putt golf course in the world?
- 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,460 Hmm. But you're not out of control, muffin.
- 00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:28,086 You're my perfect little gumdrop.
- 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,463 I'm just asking you to lie for me.
- 00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,423 You love me, don't you? - Of course I do.
- 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,884 Oh, I have such a pretty mother, such a wonderful mother.
- 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,636 Sweetie, don't. - Then it's settled.
- 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,179 Oh, I've got such a great mother,
- 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,472 such a beautiful mother.
- 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,100 Just what did you think you were doing, Butters?
- 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,352 Not only did you lie to us
- 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,646 and say you were on a camping trip with Kyle's family.
- 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:48,565 You made a fool of yourself and us on national television.
- 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,816 I'm sorry, Mom.
- 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,069 Well, sorry isn't gonna make it this time, mister.
- 00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:54,571 You know, your grandmother saw the show and had a mild stroke.
- 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,948 Oh, gee. I-I didn't mean to almost kill Grandma.
- 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,118 I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.
- 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,120 Ugh. You better believe you won't, buster.
- 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,622 Your father and I have to leave now
- 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,082 to visit Grandma in the hospital.
- 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,167 But you can just take those balls off your chin
- 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,627 and march right up to your room.
- 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,379 Yes, ma'am.
- 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,131 Serves me right.
- 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,966 Putting balls on my chin and lying about it.
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,885 Why, I should be grounded for a month.
- 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,513 Why do I do these things? Why can't I behave myself?
- 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,558 Hey, Butters, those other freak people from the show
- 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,852 were just here looking for you. - Oh, Jesus! They were?
- 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,145 Yeah. They wanted to find you bad.
- 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,272 Oh, God. What'd you tell them?
- 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,607 I told them where to find you.
- 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,275 What?! Why the heck would you do that?
- 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,611 They want to kill me for not being a real freak.
- 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:35,570 Oh.
- 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,906 Well, it serves you right for screwing us over.
- 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,622 Oh, Jesus, no!
- 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,792 They've come to boil me alive, just like Lobster Boy.
- 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,794 Aah! I got to get out of here.
- 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,880 Wait! I can't go anywhere. I'm grounded.
- 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, Christ! What a pickle!
- 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,511 Napoleon?
- 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,846 Napoleon Bonaparte?
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,266 I think he's up here.
- 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,646 Oh, hello, folks. What's the problem?
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,898 There you are, Boy With Balls on His Chin.
- 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,985 We've got big news. The union is striking.
- 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,446 The union? Oh, that's why you came?
- 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,197 We're tired of our crappy prizes,
- 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,532 so the union president,
- 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,200 Man With Terrible Skin Condition,
- 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,952 has told us to round everyone up.
- 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,787 Oh, I can't freak-strike, fellas.
- 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,247 I-I'm grounded.
- 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,373 Grounded for what?
- 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,709 For having balls on my -- Aah! I mean nothing.
- 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,085 I'm not grounded.
- 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,336 Good. Then you can march with us.
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,881 - Freaks of the world... - Unite!
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,968 Today on "Maury Povich,"
- 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,763 these moms don't know what to do with their out-of-control kids.
- 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,182 Young boys and girls so whorish on our show
- 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,684 that it borders on child pornography!
- 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,644 We're here talking with moms
- 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,813 who think their children are out of control.
- 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,858 Now, Vanessa here says that her 13-year-old daughter, Vanity,
- 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:58,528 is already doing drugs and having sex with older men.
- 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,406 Oh!
- 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,991 Vanessa, what does Vanity say to you
- 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,660 when you tell her to do her homework?
- 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,662 She says she hates me.
- 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,081 She -- She calls me "retard".
- 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:14,085 Then she says my cooze is all dried up and nobody wants it.
- 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,172 Aw!
- 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,090 Well, let's bring her out. Here's Vanity!
- 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,512 Whatever. Whatever.
- 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,889 You fucking cocksuckers don't know shit.
- 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,182 Fuck you!
- 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,353 Oh!
- 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,981 Wow. Vanity, you are really an out-of-control teen.
- 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,069 Whatever!
- 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,905 Maury, my mom don't know shit. You can aks her.
- 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,949 I aks all my homies if they be down with it.
- 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:45,826 You know, it's all good. Shit.
- 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,120 Fuck you, cocksuckers!
- 00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,498 Geez. That girl is pissed off.
- 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:54,584 Okay. Cartman family, you're on in two minutes.
- 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:57,420 Why can't you just listen to me and love me and --
- 00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:58,421 - Oh! - Shut up!
- 00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,590 Shut the fuck up, you dried-up skank!
- 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,636 I'm glad you're not like that, poopsy-kins.
- 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,555 But if I'm not the most out-of-control teen,
- 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,181 I might not win the prize.
- 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,684 Excuse me. I want to make a quick change.
- 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:11,768 Where's wardrobe?
- 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,812 Second door on the right.
- 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,607 Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!
- 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,569 Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!
- 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,363 Brothers and sisters, the time has come for us to be treated
- 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,198 with the respect we deserve!
- 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,701 We're a strong and diverse group of people,
- 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,412 with members like Woman With Crablike Body,
- 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:34,791 Incredibly Obese Black Person, Man With Brains Outside of Head,
- 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,501 and Liza Minnelli.
- 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:40,297 The talk shows have us on and give us little gifts and perks
- 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:43,091 while they make tens of thousands of dollars!
- 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,970 We told the talk shows our demands, and they laughed!
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,180 They say they can get plenty of other stupid guests
- 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,432 to go on their shows,
- 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,893 so we must picket those other guests.
- 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,897 Oh, guys, I-I need to go. I can't picket, guys.
- 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,356 You're not gonna picket?
- 00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,691 Who's not gonna picket?
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:04,779 Boy With Balls on Chin doesn't want to picket.
- 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,490 It's just that my parents are -- I can't picket.
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,993 Why? You're not a scab, are you?
- 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,578 No, I'm not a scab.
- 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,706 Now, we will split up into groups and form picket lines.
- 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,876 The first group will be led by Incredibly Obese Black Man.
- 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,462 Excuse me. I'm not Incredibly Obese Black Man.
- 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,214 I'm Incredibly Black Obese Man.
- 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009 Oh. Right. My bad.
- 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,553 And now back to more kids who are out of control,
- 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,180 on "The Maury Povich Show"!
- 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,765 Our next mother is Liane Cartman.
- 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,643 Her son claims to be the most out-of-control kid in the world
- 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,646 and says there's nothing his stupid mom can do about it.
- 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:38,688 Aw!
- 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,649 Why won't you kids behave?!
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:41,900 Oh! - Shut up, skank!
- 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,360 He's not talking to you!
- 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,821 So, Ms. Cartman, you can't control your child?
- 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,449 Oh, my little poopsy-kins gets into no-nos once in a while,
- 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,910 but he's still my perfect little sumpsy-kittles.
- 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,371 Well, your son made a video backstage. Let's take a look.
- 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,166 Maury, I am out of control.
- 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,502 Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I want, bitch.
- 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,337 Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection.
- 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,506 It's my hot body. I'll do what I want.
- 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,341 I don't go to school, and I kill people.
- 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,343 Whatever! I'll do what I want.
- 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:12,847 Oh, he's such a cutie.
- 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,975 Well, let's bring him out. Here's Eric Cartman!
- 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,436 Whatever! Whatever!
- 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,648 Maury, my mom can't control me. Aks her!
- 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,066 Go on. Aks her!
- 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,026 Ms. Cartman, what does your son like to do?
- 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,988 Ooh, he loves playing with his Clyde Frog and Wellington Bear.
- 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,991 Mom, we're pretending, remember? Sex and drugs.
- 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,826 Oh. I mean sex and drugs.
- 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,869 Oh!
- 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,287 Whatever! Whatever!
- 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,664 I'll do what I want!
- 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,041 Oh, whatever. You ain't tough, ho.
- 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,334 I run with gangs.
- 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,461 Oh, yeah? I run with 12 gangs.
- 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,963 And we only commit hate crimes.
- 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,798 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
- 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,133 Whatever!
- 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,051 You ain't bad. You ain't nothing.
- 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:53,054 I ditch class and go shoot heroin in the school bathroom.
- 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,557 Whatever! I ran for Congress and won.
- 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,351 Then I had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid her body.
- 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,228 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
- 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,023 - What do we want? - Better prizes!
- 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,816 When do we want them? - Now!
- 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,235 What do we want? - Better prizes.
- 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,237 When do we want them? - Now, I guess.
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,488 Sir, I really got to go home.
- 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,781 My parents are gonna be sore at me.
- 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,908 Napoleon, you need to understand something.
- 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,036 For you a union to work, all members must be prepared
- 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:18,204 to make sacrifices and stick together.
- 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,873 But I got to get back to my family.
- 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,292 We're your family too, Napoleon. We're like you.
- 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,334 When we look at you,
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,420 we don't even see the testicles on your chin.
- 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,213 We see the testicles in your heart.
- 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,090 - What do we want? - Better prizes!
- 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,592 When do we want them? - Now!
- 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,635 Oh, hamburgers. This just keeps getting worse.
- 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,598 Okay, folks. We're gonna have to move along.
- 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,267 Why? We're a union, and we have a right to picket.
- 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,101 I'm sorry,
- 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,687 but the government does not recognize you as a union.
- 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:43,855 You'll have to go.
- 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:44,856 What are you saying?
- 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:45,982 That because of our appearance,
- 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,817 our organization is less important?
- 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,944 Now, now, now, I'm not telling you people
- 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,571 that your union doesn't matter.
- 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,866 I'm just telling you that you're not really people.
- 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,243 All right. That does it.
- 00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,329 It's time to bring out the big guns.
- 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,623 Prepare the video sabotage.
- 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,375 Oh, no. Not the video sabotage.
- 00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,837 Who is the most out-of-control child?
- 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,839 We're back with Maury.
- 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,299 We're here talking with moms
- 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,885 who think their children are out of control.
- 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,178 Whatever!
- 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,555 I slaughtered five baby seals with my bare hands.
- 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,599 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
- 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,767 Now let's meet Joline.
- 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:23,103 Joline says that her daughter is also out of control,
- 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,896 that she's flirting with older men --
- 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,357 and she's only four months old.
- 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,775 Oh!
- 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,276 Mm-hmm. That's right, Maury.
- 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,278 Let's bring her out. Here's Chantal!
- 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,372 So, Joline, exactly how is your daughter out of control?
- 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,332 You say she flirts with older men?
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542 Maury, it's like this.
- 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,252 Whenever I have friends over to the house,
- 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,295 Chantal will come waltzing into the living room
- 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,131 completely naked!
- 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,966 Oh!
- 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,760 Whatever. I helped in a drive-by shooting.
- 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:56,678 Whatever!
- 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,096 I digitally put Jabba the Hutt
- 00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,806 back into the original "Star Wars" movie.
- 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,057 I'll do what I want!
- 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,851 Wow! That <i>is</i> out of control.
- 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:03,852 Why, just last night,
- 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,229 I had three gentleman callers over to my house,
- 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,649 and Chantal took her clothes off right in front of everybody!
- 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,067 Boo!
- 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:15,280 You see? There she goes. There she goes.
- 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,282 Whore! You goddamn whore!
- 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,077 Attention, "Maury" viewers.
- 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,662 What the hell is this?
- 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,956 A lot of decent, hardworking freaks in America
- 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,501 are losing their talk-show jobs to freaks of a different nature.
- 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,879 Sure, everyone in this great country of ours is a freak.
- 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,090 But true, physically deformed freaks must be recognized,
- 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:36,551 for it is these real freaks that make you all feel better
- 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,511 about yourselves for not being one.
- 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,305 So next time you're watching television,
- 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,473 make sure it's a show with freak freaks
- 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,017 and not just with people that are freaks
- 00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,519 because they're stupid trailer trash from the South.
- 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,689 That's what we mean when we say look for the True Freak label.
- 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:54,068 ♪ Look for the True Freak label ♪
- 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:58,489 ♪ When you are watching a TV talk show ♪
- 00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:02,952 ♪ Remember somewhere a union's growing ♪
- 00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:06,873 ♪ Our wages going to feed the kids ♪
- 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,082 ♪ And run the house ♪
- 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,626 ♪ We work hard ♪
- 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,045 ♪ But who's complaining? ♪
- 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:15,632 ♪ With TFU, we're making our way ♪
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:20,345 ♪ So always look for the True Freak label ♪
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:26,142 ♪ Because you need us right here in the USA ♪
- 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,728 Uh, sorry, America. A little glitch there.
- 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,271 Anyway -- - They're right.
- 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,232 We should've never crossed that picket line.
- 00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:34,150 Come on, honey.
- 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,568 Wait. Wait. Come back!
- 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,362 Maybe we can make the other out-of-control kids
- 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,863 take their clothes off, too.
- 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,907 Whatever! I'll crap in Maury's pants!
- 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,744 Sir, the ratings have just started to plummet.
- 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:47,580 Aah! Those damn freaks!
- 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,378 I gave you shoes and groceries!
- 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:54,921 And this is how you repay me?
- 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,340 Very well.
- 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,217 Come upstairs and...we'll negotiate.
- 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,224 We did it! The strike worked!
- 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,893 Now we can go on with our careers.
- 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,145 Oh, thank God that's over.
- 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,689 Now I can get back home.
- 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:15,733 Butters, you have screwed me out of a prize for the last time!
- 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,822 Oh, double hamburgers.
- 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:21,864 Jesus Christ!
- 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:22,949 That out-of-control kid
- 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,867 ripped poor Napoleon's balls right off!
- 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,744 Get him! - Aah!
- 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,455 Boil him!
- 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:33,084 Hey, things actually turned out okay for me this time.
- 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,544 Butters!
- 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,129 Oh, I know.
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,929 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,140 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,641 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,602 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,021 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
- 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:25,317 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,153 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy ♪
- 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:29,030 ♪ Timmy, Timmy, liv-a-la, Timmy! ♪
- 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:32,533 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,202 MAN: Today on "The Maury Povich Show" --
- 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,537 these poor, unfortunate people
- 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,039 all have horrible disfigurements.
- 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:41,000 And you won't believe how we exploit them for your amusement!
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,126 That sounds pretty good.
- 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,377 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:44,378 Hey, Kenny!
- 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,546 Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,006 That's awesome, Kenny.
- 00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,467 Now, gosh darn it, fellas, my name's not Kenny.
- 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,010 - Kenny's dead. - Okay, not-Kenny.
- 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,762 I'm not gonna wear this coat anymore neither.
- 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,263 I should be able to be you guys' friend
- 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,598 without wearing Kenny's old coat.
- 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,640 Shh. Be quiet, not-Kenny.
- 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,975 The Maury Povich freak show is on.
- 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,226 Oh. All right, then.
- 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,020 Our next guest is a little girl
- 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,646 who was born without a midsection.
- 00:01:02,772 --> 00:01:04,273 Please welcome Damla Jones.
- 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,108 [Applause, mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,068 Hello, Maury!
- 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,569 Oh, sick, dude!
- 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:11,947 You're a very brave little girl, and I'm very proud of you.
- 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:13,115 Thank you.
- 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,367 Can you tell the audience how miserable your life is?
- 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,787 Uh, yes, it is.
- 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,371 [Chuckles] You're a cutie.
- 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:21,665 Do the other kids at school sometimes make fun of you?
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:22,958 Sometimes.
- 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,585 Do people sometimes stare at you?
- 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,087 Sometimes.
- 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:28,756 Do they go, "Oh, gross. What the hell is that thing"?
- 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,257 Um, I don't know.
- 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,551 Well, your mommy told us you like to listen to music.
- 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,636 Yes.
- 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,012 Well, guess what, Damla.
- 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,640 We're gonna give you a $300 gift certificate
- 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,351 to CD World in Torrance! [up-tempo music plays]
- 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,519 All right, everyone. Stay tuned.
- 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:42,853 Because next we're gonna meet a woman
- 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,064 whose head was smashed in on a logger.
- 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,108 And we're gonna give her a makeover!
- 00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,317 This is terrible, dude.
- 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,277 Maury Povich parades these poor people around on his show
- 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,278 like carnival freaks
- 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,280 and then gives them prizes at the end as if to justify it.
- 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,406 What a dick.
- 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,040 Dude, one of us should make up some disease
- 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,959 and get on "The Maury Povich Show" so we can get a prize.
- 00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,544 Cool! - Oh, yes!
- 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:07,711 That'd be awesome.
- 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,672 [Telephone beeping]
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:10,673 Do you think they'll believe it?
- 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,716 What disease should we say? - Shh. Be quiet, you guys.
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,635 Hello. Is this Maury Povich?
- 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,387 Oh. Well, who the hell are you?
- 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:17,304 Oh.
- 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,515 Well, I'm calling about your ad for freaks.
- 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,517 Right. I mean people with disabilities.
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,144 Yeah, I have a friend. He has a deformity.
- 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:25,062 I think he'd be perfect for your show.
- 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,313 Great!
- 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,481 His condition?
- 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:30,442 Uh, he has a condition called Chin-Ball-Alitis.
- 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,486 Yes, his balls actually hang from his chin.
- 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,071 [Laughter]
- 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,739 S-Shut up, you guys.
- 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:36,740 Yes.
- 00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,492 Yes. Of course. He's very upset about it.
- 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:41,579 Yes, he cries all the time. Miserable. Uh-huh.
- 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,247 - You wa-- Really? - What?
- 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:44,957 Dude, they say they'll fly him out day after tomorrow!
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,000 Awesome! - Cool!
- 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,169 Yes, I'm sure I can convince him to come on the show.
- 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,462 There will, of course, be a prize involved?
- 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,631 Great. I'll call you back in an hour.
- 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,550 No. Thank <i>you.</i>
- 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:55,718 Yes!
- 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,012 This is gonna be so funny! - It sure is!
- 00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,930 But how are we gonna get the balls put on Butters' chin?
- 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,725 Yeah, how are we gonna -- Wait. Butters' chin?
- 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,393 Yeah. - But that's me.
- 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,644 I'm Butters. - We know.
- 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:06,645 You're the one doing it, Butters.
- 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,646 Who'd you think we were talking about?
- 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,398 Well, hold on just a second, you guys.
- 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,275 Hey, I know how we get the balls on Butters' chin.
- 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,776 Those Star Trek dorks down the street.
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,986 They're always making crazy masks
- 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,446 and special effects for their dumb movies.
- 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,780 Hang on, now. - Yeah!
- 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,282 I'll bet they could make a fake set of balls.
- 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,366 Come on, Butters! - Wait!
- 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,493 Why does it have to be me? - It has to be you, Butters.
- 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:22,494 Think about it. - Yeah.
- 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,288 But, fellas, if I go on "Maury Povich"
- 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,539 with-- with my balls on my chin,
- 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,041 my parents are gonna be really mad.
- 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,042 We'll just tell your parents
- 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:29,501 we're going on a camping trip with my parents.
- 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:31,003 They'll never know. - I'm sorry.
- 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:34,715 But the answer is unh-unh. Unh-unh, unh-unh.
- 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,676 Kenny would've done it.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,638 So? I told you guys before. I'm not Kenny.
- 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,431 We know. Believe me, we know.
- 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,350 We're reminded every day that you're not Kenny,
- 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:45,851 because Kenny was cool.
- 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,728 Yeah. God, I wish Kenny was still alive.
- 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,313 He'd put balls on his chin.
- 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,565 He was such an awesome friend.
- 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,942 Well, come on, guys.
- 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,277 If Butters won't even put balls on his chins for us,
- 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,612 I guess we know where we stand.
- 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,072 Yeah.
- 00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,073 Aw, gee whiz.
- 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,283 You -- You promise my mom and dad won't find out?
- 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:06,163 Now, we're going to apply the latex with some spirit gum.
- 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,165 That spirit gum sure is stinky.
- 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,166 Where'd you get the balls from?
- 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,876 We made a plastic mold of his chin
- 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,879 and then made a latex scrotum and put two golf balls inside.
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:14,755 Nice.
- 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,590 Now we just blend the skin tones,
- 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,634 add a little hair, and presto!
- 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:20,844 Wow!
- 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,096 That looks awesome!
- 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,597 Oh, I feel silly.
- 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,474 They look great on you, Butters. They really do.
- 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,018 I believe you owe us payment now.
- 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,063 All right. The original Avid cut of "Star Wars: Episode One."
- 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,315 Wow! - They weren't lying!
- 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,900 Why the hell would they want that anyway?
- 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,235 "Episode One" sucked balls.
- 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,861 Yeah, it sucked hairy Butters' chin balls.
- 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,738 Hey! Stop it, man!
- 00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:44,159 Gay Air flight 243 with service to New York
- 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,619 now ready for general boarding.
- 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,538 That's your flight, Butters. - Here's your ticket.
- 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,873 They're gonna have a car waiting for you at the gate in New York.
- 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,625 Wait. You guys aren't coming with me?
- 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,502 Hell no, dude. Then we couldn't watch you on TV.
- 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,421 Hold on a minute, guys. I've changed my mind.
- 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,338 I don't want to go.
- 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,590 God, isn't Butters awesome for doing this, you guys?
- 00:04:58,716 --> 00:04:59,842 Yeah, he sure is.
- 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,552 Doing all this to bring us back a prize.
- 00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,053 What a great friend.
- 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,097 [ Chanting ] Butt-ers! Butt-ers!
- 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,224 All right, then. See you guys tomorrow.
- 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,852 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,651 Thanks for coming on the show, kid.
- 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,403 Maury is very excited to meet you.
- 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,113 This is the greenroom, where you can hang out
- 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,699 with the other guests until we call for you on set.
- 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,702 Boy With Balls on Chin, this is Man With Foot on Head,
- 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,997 Girl With Rapid Aging Disease, Disfigured Country Singer,
- 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,457 and Man with No Face.
- 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,877 Wow. Scooped-Out-Face Guy. I've seen you on TV before.
- 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,296 Yes. This is my sixth appearance.
- 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:38,630 I'll come back in a bit, folks.
- 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:39,548 Hey, Roger,
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,842 what the hell is with these horrible veggie platters?
- 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:44,595 Yeah. We told you last time we want fresher vegetables.
- 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,597 I'm sorry. This is what the studio provides.
- 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:47,931 Just take a seat on the couch, kid.
- 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,725 I'll be back in a minute.
- 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,483 Boy With Balls on His Chin.
- 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:58,901 Haven't seen you around.
- 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,277 How long you been on the circuit?
- 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,404 What circuit? - The talk-show circuit.
- 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,114 Don't tell us this is your first one.
- 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,032 Well, yeah.
- 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,408 You've all done it more than once?
- 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,160 "Oprah" two times, "Jenny Jones" once,
- 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,953 "Sally Jessy" five times.
- 00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,372 You've only done "Jenny" once?
- 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,415 Oh, I hate doing "The Jenny Jones Show".
- 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,292 They don't even have their own hair people.
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,585 I'm doing "Jenny" tomorrow.
- 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,462 Yeah. You picked a good show to do first, kid.
- 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,713 But you need to learn the ropes.
- 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,423 There are a lot of people like you all over the country,
- 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,050 and we all do talk shows for a living.
- 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,176 We all know each other
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,469 and we all kind of stick together
- 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,221 to make sure our industry is protected.
- 00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:30,474 Yeah, like when someone lies about being a freak.
- 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,060 Oh, they-- they do, huh?
- 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,645 Yeah, they'll make up a fake condition
- 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,064 to go on these shows and then take our money away.
- 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,358 We don't take kindly to that.
- 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,776 I can certainly see why.
- 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,903 It's okay. Folks don't do it anymore.
- 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:46,490 Not after they saw what we did to Lobster Boy.
- 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,075 Lobster Boy?
- 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,077 Yeah, Lobster Boy used to make appearances
- 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,662 on all the talk shows.
- 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,498 He was one of the most popular disfigured people on TV.
- 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,250 But then one day, we all found out
- 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,128 that Lobster Boy wasn't a real freak at all.
- 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,255 He was just an actual lobster.
- 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,965 Lying sack of crap.
- 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,092 So you know what we did to him? - What?
- 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,927 One night, all us freaks got together,
- 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:10,055 and we boiled him alive.
- 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,141 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,643 [ Muffled screams ]
- 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,479 Now Lobster Boy is no more.
- 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,233 Oh. Yeah, I hate when people fake conditions, too.
- 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,651 Those stupid fakers.
- 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,445 We're glad you agree.
- 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,321 Okay, Boy With Balls on His Chin.
- 00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,031 You're up next.
- 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:30,451 Oh, Jesus. See me through this.
- 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,245 MAN: Today on "The Maury Povich Show,"
- 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,998 we bring back some of our favorite disfigured people
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,667 and introduce you to some new ones.
- 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,669 Here he comes! - This is gonna be awesome!
- 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,671 Our next guest suffers from a rare birth defect
- 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,924 which caused his testicles and scrotum to grow from his chin.
- 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,552 Testicles and scrotum! [ Laughs ]
- 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,388 Please welcome 8 1/2-year-old Napoleon Bonaparte
- 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:52,806 from South Park, Colorado.
- 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,559 [ Mid-tempo music plays, applause ]
- 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,145 Thanks so much for coming on our show.
- 00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,855 Oh, that's okay, I-I suppose.
- 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,983 So is it tough being... different?
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,109 Uh, yeah.
- 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,070 And do all the kids at school make fun of you?
- 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,489 They sure do!
- 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,741 They always say to me, "Butters, you're not Kenny."
- 00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,117 But I never said I was Kenny.
- 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,244 They say Kenny would do this and Kenny would do that.
- 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,121 Uh-oh. We're losing him. - I'm tired of it.
- 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,122 You hear me, fellas?
- 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,166 Kenny's dead, and you just have to deal with it.
- 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,336 Uh, yeah, but I mean, do the kids at school make fun of you
- 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:23,837 because of your condition?
- 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,130 What condition?
- 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,216 You have balls that hang off your chin.
- 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,634 I do?! Uh, oh.
- 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,135 I-I mean yeah, I do.
- 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,429 Uh, yeah, the kids at school make fun of me for that.
- 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,555 Whew! - That was close.
- 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,307 What names do they call you at school?
- 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:39,811 Oh, well, um, I guess they call me, uh, Chin Ball Boy
- 00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:42,064 and, uh, Ball Chin Boy.
- 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,733 When I'm walking, they'll say, "Hey, there goes Chin Balls."
- 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,612 [ Laughing ]
- 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,031 And do they call you "freak" and -- and "weirdo"?
- 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,282 Uh, yeah, I suppose.
- 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,034 And do they point at you and laugh?
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,911 Do they make you wish you'd never been born,
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:56,995 make you wish to put an end
- 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,914 to the whole miserable, wretched earth?
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,749 Uh, sure.
- 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,085 Well, Napoleon, we have a surprise for you.
- 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,003 Wait. Here it is. Here it is. - The presents!
- 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,839 Because you are such a brave little chin-balled man,
- 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,467 we're gonna send you directly from this studio
- 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,470 to the world's largest putt-putt golf course in the world!
- 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,596 - Oh, really? - [Applause ]
- 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,014 Wow.
- 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,101 Did he say the largest putt-putt golf course in the world?
- 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,770 Go on. You're going right now. - [ Mid-tempo music playing ]
- 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,188 But that's not fair.
- 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,856 That means Butters gets to go and we don't.
- 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,525 Yeah! We thought of the whole thing.
- 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,819 Oh! Once again, Butters is trying to screw us over!
- 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:29,778 That asshole!
- 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,156 Hello. Is this "The Maury Povich Show"?
- 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:33,991 Yes. Hello.
- 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,951 I'm calling because I saw your television program,
- 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,203 and I also have balls hanging from my chin.
- 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,205 I'd like to come talk about my disorder and perhaps get
- 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,165 a free trip to the largest putt-putt course in the world.
- 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,459 I'm sorry, but we're done doing freak shows for now.
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,211 We're looking for people for a new topic.
- 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,379 What's the new topic?
- 00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,339 "Please Help my Out-of-Control Child."
- 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,383 Oh. Hey, I'm out of control.
- 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:52,217 Really?
- 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,552 Is your mother in tears every day
- 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,679 over how disobedient you are? - Uh, sure!
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,764 Does she worry about you doing drugs and having sex
- 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:58,807 at such a young age?
- 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,060 Yeah! Sure! I-I do crack and potpourri and g-greasies.
- 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,103 Well, that's great.
- 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,646 If you can get your mom to come with you,
- 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,772 we'd love to fly you out.
- 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,858 My -- My mom?
- 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,402 [ Humming ]
- 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,778 Mom.
- 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:12,821 Yes, sweetie?
- 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,489 Could you do me a favor?
- 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,158 What's that, my little man?
- 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,785 Could you, um, go on "The Maury Povich Show" with me
- 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,871 and say that I'm out of control and do drugs and have sex
- 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,039 so I can go to the largest
- 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,957 putt-putt golf course in the world?
- 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,460 Hmm. But you're not out of control, muffin.
- 00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:28,086 You're my perfect little gumdrop.
- 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,463 I'm just asking you to lie for me.
- 00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,423 You love me, don't you? - Of course I do.
- 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,884 Oh, I have such a pretty mother, such a wonderful mother.
- 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,636 Sweetie, don't. - Then it's settled.
- 00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:37,179 Oh, I've got such a great mother,
- 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,472 such a beautiful mother.
- 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,100 Just what did you think you were doing, Butters?
- 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,352 Not only did you lie to us
- 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,646 and say you were on a camping trip with Kyle's family.
- 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:48,565 You made a fool of yourself and us on national television.
- 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,816 I'm sorry, Mom.
- 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,069 Well, sorry isn't gonna make it this time, mister.
- 00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:54,571 You know, your grandmother saw the show and had a mild stroke.
- 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,948 Oh, gee. I-I didn't mean to almost kill Grandma.
- 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,118 I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.
- 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,120 Ugh. You better believe you won't, buster.
- 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,622 Your father and I have to leave now
- 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,082 to visit Grandma in the hospital.
- 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,167 But you can just take those balls off your chin
- 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,627 and march right up to your room.
- 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,379 Yes, ma'am.
- 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,131 Serves me right.
- 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,966 Putting balls on my chin and lying about it.
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,885 Why, I should be grounded for a month.
- 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,513 Why do I do these things? Why can't I behave myself?
- 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,765 [ Telephone rings ]
- 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,558 Hey, Butters, those other freak people from the show
- 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,852 were just here looking for you. - Oh, Jesus! They were?
- 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,145 Yeah. They wanted to find you bad.
- 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,272 Oh, God. What'd you tell them?
- 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,607 I told them where to find you.
- 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,275 What?! Why the heck would you do that?
- 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,611 They want to kill me for not being a real freak.
- 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:35,570 Oh.
- 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,906 Well, it serves you right for screwing us over.
- 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,742 [ Dial tone ]
- 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:44,162 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,622 Oh, Jesus, no!
- 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,792 They've come to boil me alive, just like Lobster Boy.
- 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,794 Aah! I got to get out of here.
- 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,880 Wait! I can't go anywhere. I'm grounded.
- 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, Christ! What a pickle!
- 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,466 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,511 [ Screams ] - Napoleon?
- 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,846 Napoleon Bonaparte?
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,266 I think he's up here.
- 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,646 Oh, hello, folks. What's the problem?
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,898 There you are, Boy With Balls on His Chin.
- 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,985 We've got big news. The union is striking.
- 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,446 The union? Oh, that's why you came?
- 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,197 We're tired of our crappy prizes,
- 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,532 so the union president,
- 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,200 Man With Terrible Skin Condition,
- 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,952 has told us to round everyone up.
- 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,787 Oh, I can't freak-strike, fellas.
- 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,247 I-I'm grounded.
- 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,373 Grounded for what?
- 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,709 For having balls on my -- Aah! I mean nothing.
- 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,085 I'm not grounded.
- 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,336 Good. Then you can march with us.
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,881 Freaks of the world... - ALL: Unite!
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,968 [ Mid-tempo music plays ] MAN: Today on "Maury Povich,"
- 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,763 these moms don't know what to do with their out-of-control kids.
- 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,182 Young boys and girls so whorish on our show
- 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,684 that it borders on child pornography!
- 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,644 We're here talking with moms
- 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,813 who think their children are out of control.
- 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,858 Now, Vanessa here says that her 13-year-old daughter, Vanity,
- 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:58,528 is already doing drugs and having sex with older men.
- 00:12:58,653 --> 00:12:59,696 [ Sobbing ]
- 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,406 ALL: Oh!
- 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,991 Vanessa, what does Vanity say to you
- 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,660 when you tell her to do her homework?
- 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,662 She says she hates me.
- 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,081 She -- She calls me "retard".
- 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:14,085 Then she says my cooze is all dried up and nobody wants it.
- 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,712 [ Sobs ]
- 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,172 ALL: Aw!
- 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,090 Well, let's bring her out. Here's Vanity!
- 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,510 [ Mid-tempo music plays, audience booing ]
- 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,512 Whatever. Whatever.
- 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,889 You fucking cocksuckers don't know shit.
- 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,182 Fuck you!
- 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,353 Oh! [ Sobbing ]
- 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,981 Wow. Vanity, you are really an out-of-control teen.
- 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,776 [ Cheers and applause, audience chanting "Maury" ]
- 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,069 Whatever!
- 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,905 Maury, my mom don't know shit. You can aks her.
- 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,949 I aks all my homies if they be down with it.
- 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:45,826 You know, it's all good. Shit.
- 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,035 [ Booing ]
- 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,120 Fuck you, cocksuckers!
- 00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,498 [Audience booing ] Geez. That girl is pissed off.
- 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:54,584 Okay. Cartman family, you're on in two minutes.
- 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:57,420 Why can't you just listen to me and love me and --
- 00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:58,421 - Oh! - Shut up!
- 00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,590 Shut the fuck up, you dried-up skank!
- 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,008 [ Sobbing ]
- 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,636 I'm glad you're not like that, poopsy-kins.
- 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,555 But if I'm not the most out-of-control teen,
- 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,181 I might not win the prize.
- 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,684 Excuse me. I want to make a quick change.
- 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:11,768 Where's wardrobe?
- 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,812 Second door on the right.
- 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,607 CROWD: [ Chanting ] Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!
- 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,569 Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!
- 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,363 Brothers and sisters, the time has come for us to be treated
- 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,198 with the respect we deserve!
- 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,701 We're a strong and diverse group of people,
- 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,412 with members like Woman With Crablike Body,
- 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:34,791 Incredibly Obese Black Person, Man With Brains Outside of Head,
- 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,501 and Liza Minnelli.
- 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:40,297 The talk shows have us on and give us little gifts and perks
- 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:43,091 while they make tens of thousands of dollars!
- 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,342 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,970 We told the talk shows our demands, and they laughed!
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,180 They say they can get plenty of other stupid guests
- 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,432 to go on their shows,
- 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,893 so we must picket those other guests.
- 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,352 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,897 Oh, guys, I-I need to go. I can't picket, guys.
- 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,356 You're not gonna picket?
- 00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,691 MAN: Who's not gonna picket?
- 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,485 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:04,779 Boy With Balls on Chin doesn't want to picket.
- 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,490 It's just that my parents are -- I can't picket.
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,993 Why? You're not a scab, are you?
- 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,578 No, I'm not a scab.
- 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,706 Now, we will split up into groups and form picket lines.
- 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,876 The first group will be led by Incredibly Obese Black Man.
- 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,462 Excuse me. I'm not Incredibly Obese Black Man.
- 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,214 I'm Incredibly Black Obese Man.
- 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009 Oh. Right. My bad.
- 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,553 MAN: And now back to more kids who are out of control,
- 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,180 on "The Maury Povich Show"!
- 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,765 Our next mother is Liane Cartman.
- 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,643 Her son claims to be the most out-of-control kid in the world
- 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,646 and says there's nothing his stupid mom can do about it.
- 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:38,688 ALL: Aw!
- 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,649 Why won't you kids behave?!
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:41,900 Oh! - Shut up, skank!
- 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,360 He's not talking to you!
- 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,611 [ Sobs ]
- 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,821 So, Ms. Cartman, you can't control your child?
- 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,449 Oh, my little poopsy-kins gets into no-nos once in a while,
- 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,910 but he's still my perfect little sumpsy-kittles.
- 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,371 Well, your son made a video backstage. Let's take a look.
- 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:55,956 [ Down-tempo hip-hop plays ]
- 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,166 Maury, I am out of control.
- 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,502 Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I want, bitch.
- 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,337 Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection.
- 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,506 It's my hot body. I'll do what I want.
- 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,341 I don't go to school, and I kill people.
- 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,343 Whatever! I'll do what I want.
- 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,262 [Audience murmuring, booing ]
- 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:12,847 Oh, he's such a cutie.
- 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,975 Well, let's bring him out. Here's Eric Cartman!
- 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,643 [ Mid-tempo music plays, audience booing ]
- 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,436 Whatever! Whatever!
- 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,648 Maury, my mom can't control me. Aks her!
- 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,066 Go on. Aks her!
- 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,026 Ms. Cartman, what does your son like to do?
- 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,988 Ooh, he loves playing with his Clyde Frog and Wellington Bear.
- 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,991 Mom, we're pretending, remember? Sex and drugs.
- 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,826 Oh. I mean sex and drugs.
- 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,869 ALL: Oh!
- 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,287 [ Snapping fingers ] Whatever! Whatever!
- 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,664 I'll do what I want!
- 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,041 Oh, whatever. You ain't tough, ho.
- 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,334 I run with gangs.
- 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,461 Oh, yeah? I run with 12 gangs.
- 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,963 And we only commit hate crimes.
- 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,798 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
- 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,133 Whatever!
- 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,051 You ain't bad. You ain't nothing.
- 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:53,054 I ditch class and go shoot heroin in the school bathroom.
- 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,557 Whatever! I ran for Congress and won.
- 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,351 Then I had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid her body.
- 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,228 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
- 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,023 MAN: What do we want? - ALL: Better prizes!
- 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,816 When do we want them? - Now!
- 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,235 What do we want? - Better prizes.
- 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,237 When do we want them? - Now, I guess.
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,488 Sir, I really got to go home.
- 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,781 My parents are gonna be sore at me.
- 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,908 Napoleon, you need to understand something.
- 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,036 For you a union to work, all members must be prepared
- 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:18,204 to make sacrifices and stick together.
- 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,873 But I got to get back to my family.
- 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,292 We're your family too, Napoleon. We're like you.
- 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,334 When we look at you,
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,420 we don't even see the testicles on your chin.
- 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,213 We see the testicles in your heart.
- 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:29,090 What do we want? - ALL: Better prizes!
- 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,592 When do we want them? - Now!
- 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,635 Oh, hamburgers. This just keeps getting worse.
- 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,054 [ Sirens wailing ]
- 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,598 Okay, folks. We're gonna have to move along.
- 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,267 Why? We're a union, and we have a right to picket.
- 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,101 I'm sorry,
- 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,687 but the government does not recognize you as a union.
- 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:43,855 You'll have to go.
- 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:44,856 What are you saying?
- 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:45,982 That because of our appearance,
- 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,817 our organization is less important?
- 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,944 Now, now, now, I'm not telling you people
- 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,571 that your union doesn't matter.
- 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,866 I'm just telling you that you're not really people.
- 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,243 All right. That does it.
- 00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,329 It's time to bring out the big guns.
- 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,623 Prepare the video sabotage.
- 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,375 Oh, no. Not the video sabotage.
- 00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,837 MAN: Who is the most out-of-control child?
- 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,839 We're back with Maury.
- 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,299 We're here talking with moms
- 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,885 who think their children are out of control.
- 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,178 Whatever!
- 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,555 I slaughtered five baby seals with my bare hands.
- 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,599 Whatever! I'll do what I want!
- 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,767 Now let's meet Joline.
- 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:23,103 Joline says that her daughter is also out of control,
- 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,896 that she's flirting with older men --
- 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,357 and she's only four months old.
- 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,775 ALL: Oh!
- 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,276 Mm-hmm. That's right, Maury.
- 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,278 Let's bring her out. Here's Chantal!
- 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:35,782 [ Mid-tempo music plays, audience booing ]
- 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,327 [ Baby laughing, cooing ]
- 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,372 So, Joline, exactly how is your daughter out of control?
- 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,332 You say she flirts with older men?
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542 Maury, it's like this.
- 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,252 Whenever I have friends over to the house,
- 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,295 Chantal will come waltzing into the living room
- 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,131 completely naked!
- 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,966 ALL: Oh!
- 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,760 Whatever. I helped in a drive-by shooting.
- 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:56,678 Whatever!
- 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,096 I digitally put Jabba the Hutt
- 00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,806 back into the original "Star Wars" movie.
- 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,057 I'll do what I want!
- 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,851 Wow! That <i>is</i> out of control.
- 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:03,852 Why, just last night,
- 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,229 I had three gentleman callers over to my house,
- 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,649 and Chantal took her clothes off right in front of everybody!
- 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,067 ALL: Boo!
- 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:15,280 You see? There she goes. There she goes.
- 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,282 Whore! You goddamn whore!
- 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,117 [ Static ]
- 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,077 Attention, "Maury" viewers.
- 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,662 What the hell is this?
- 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,956 A lot of decent, hardworking freaks in America
- 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,501 are losing their talk-show jobs to freaks of a different nature.
- 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,879 Sure, everyone in this great country of ours is a freak.
- 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,090 But true, physically deformed freaks must be recognized,
- 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:36,551 for it is these real freaks that make you all feel better
- 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,511 about yourselves for not being one.
- 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,305 So next time you're watching television,
- 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,473 make sure it's a show with freak freaks
- 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,017 and not just with people that are freaks
- 00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,519 because they're stupid trailer trash from the South.
- 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,689 That's what we mean when we say look for the True Freak label.
- 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:54,068 ♪ Look for the True Freak label ♪
- 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:58,489 ALL: ♪ When you are watching a TV talk show ♪
- 00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:02,952 ♪ Remember somewhere a union's growing ♪
- 00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:06,873 ♪ Our wages going to feed the kids ♪
- 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,082 ♪ And run the house ♪
- 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,626 ♪ We work hard ♪
- 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,045 ♪ But who's complaining? ♪
- 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:15,632 ♪ With TFU, we're making our way ♪
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:20,345 ♪ So always look for the True Freak label ♪
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:26,142 ♪ Because you need us right here in the USA ♪
- 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,728 Uh, sorry, America. A little glitch there.
- 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,271 Anyway -- - They're right.
- 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,232 We should've never crossed that picket line.
- 00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:34,150 Come on, honey. [Audience murmuring ]
- 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,568 Wait. Wait. Come back!
- 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,362 Maybe we can make the other out-of-control kids
- 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,863 take their clothes off, too.
- 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,907 Whatever! I'll crap in Maury's pants!
- 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,744 Sir, the ratings have just started to plummet.
- 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:47,580 Aah! Those damn freaks!
- 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:51,042 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,378 I gave you shoes and groceries!
- 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:54,921 And this is how you repay me?
- 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,340 Very well.
- 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,217 Come upstairs and...we'll negotiate.
- 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,761 [ Mid-tempo music plays ]
- 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,347 [All cheering ]
- 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,224 We did it! The strike worked!
- 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,893 Now we can go on with our careers.
- 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,145 Oh, thank God that's over.
- 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,689 Now I can get back home.
- 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:15,733 Butters, you have screwed me out of a prize for the last time!
- 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,111 [ Crowd gasps ]
- 00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,822 Oh, double hamburgers.
- 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:21,864 Jesus Christ!
- 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:22,949 That out-of-control kid
- 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,867 ripped poor Napoleon's balls right off!
- 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,744 Get him! - Aah!
- 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,455 [ Crowd shouting ] - MAN: Boil him!
- 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:33,084 Hey, things actually turned out okay for me this time.
- 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,544 Butters!
- 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,129 Oh, I know.
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