Загрузка
00:00
/
22:07
Собственный эпизод Баттерса
Butters' Very Own Episode
Сезон: 05Серия: 14
Описание
Семья Баттерса рушится накануне годовщины, но он сам не понимает, что происходит. Линда Стотч пытается убить своего сына, а затем и себя, но в итоге всё заканчивается хорошо.
Субтитры
- 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,843 Alright, Mom,
- 00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,012 I'm all done wrapping Dad's anniversary present for you.
- 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,221 Oh, is it someone's anniversary soon?
- 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,222 Oh, you.
- 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,640 Just kidding.
- 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:15,975 Ooh, I wonder what it is.
- 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,184 It's a--
- 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:18,644 Oh, shucks, I can't tell you.
- 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,354 But it's really nifty.
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,273 Well, it looks like we're gonna have to do something
- 00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:24,483 extra special for Mommy and Daddy's anniversary this year.
- 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,818 How about on Saturday
- 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,903 we all go have dinner at Bennigan's?
- 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,822 Bennigan's? Oh, boy, you mean it?
- 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,949 Whoopee!
- 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,993 At Bennigan's I'm gonna get the Ranch Hand Baby Back Ribs.
- 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,036 Calm down there, cowboy.
- 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:36,120 You've still got four days.
- 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,747 Four days?
- 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,790 Oh, I don't know how I'm gonna wait that long.
- 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:43,169 Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud?
- 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:46,005 Turn a frown into a smile for free?
- 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,674 Who's the kid with the heart full of magic?
- 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,468 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,136 Well, that's me!
- 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,597 Who's the boy with eyes full of wonder?
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,725 Who thinks being yourself is the best thing to be?
- 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,519 Who's that rascal with the tweezers in his pocket?
- 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,313 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,939 Well, that's me!
- 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,317 Jumping in puddles, skipping down the hallway
- 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,568 petting goats at the petting zoo
- 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,278 he loves John All-way - Elway.
- 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,490 Who's that tyke with the cutest little dimples?
- 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,867 Batting his eyes at every puppy he sees?
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,952 If you look inside yourself you might be surprised
- 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,538 when you find a little boy named
- 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:20,790 Butters!
- 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,542 Well, that's-- that's me, yeah.
- 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,920 Three more days 'til we eat at Bennigan's.
- 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,923 That's 72 hours. Oh, gee whiz.
- 00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:30,341 Well, if you two will excuse me,
- 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,093 I need to go out and buy a certain special lady
- 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,385 her anniversary present.
- 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:34,637 I hope he means me.
- 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,638 Don't be silly, Mom,
- 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,431 of course he means you.
- 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,849 I'll be back in a little bit.
- 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,184 Butters, you're in charge of the house.
- 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,061 Yes, sir!
- 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813 Oh, I wonder what he's gonna get me this year.
- 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,397 We won't know till we're at Bennigan's.
- 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:46,565 Every year it's the same.
- 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,733 Your father gets me some great gift
- 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,527 and my gift to him falls short.
- 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:51,112 I've just got to outdo him this year.
- 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,321 I've just got to!
- 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,781 Dad's a good shopper, alright.
- 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,200 Butters, maybe you could secretly follow your dad
- 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,451 and see what he's getting me.
- 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,078 You mean spy on him?
- 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,871 But ain't that kind of like fibbin'?
- 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,456 No, it's a little different.
- 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,875 You remember when the nice policeman gave you a badge
- 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,168 and made you an Honorary Inspector?
- 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,795 Sure, I do.
- 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,463 Why, I think Inspector Butters could find out
- 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,382 what daddy's getting mommy without him ever knowing.
- 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,134 What do you say?
- 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:14,927 Inspector Butters is on the case, ma'am.
- 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,554 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,222 Well, that's me!
- 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,368 Hmm, Dad's going to see a movie.
- 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,288 How nice.
- 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:50,171 "White Swallow Bath House."
- 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:51,672 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,799 Well, that's me!
- 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,385 I'm back, Ma.
- 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,845 Oh, hi, sweetie.
- 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,054 Did you get to follow your dad around?
- 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,181 I sure did.
- 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,849 Dad sure had a nice night out.
- 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,851 Well, did you see what he got me for our anniversary?
- 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:05,477 Well, first he went to see a movie.
- 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,271 A movie? Huh.
- 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,523 I wonder why he'd want to see a movie by himself.
- 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,525 I don't know, but it wasn't at the movie theater at the mall.
- 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,277 It was that really old theater downtown,
- 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,446 The Studcat.
- 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,739 I didn't even know it was open.
- 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,949 Wait a minute. What was the movie called?
- 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,534 "Fisting Firemen 9."
- 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,785 I've never seen one through eight.
- 00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:23,329 Oh, my God.
- 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,206 It must've been a real short movie, though,
- 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,541 because Dad came out, like, 10 minutes later.
- 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,126 It must've been a sad film, too,
- 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,878 because he had a bunch of tissue paper with him
- 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,171 when he came out.
- 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,131 Poor ol' dad. Movie really got to him.
- 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,467 Butters, where did Daddy go after the movie?
- 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,468 To the gym.
- 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:38,761 To the gym?
- 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:39,720 Yeah, the White Swallow Spa.
- 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:40,930 Ah!
- 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,473 Yup, he went in there and he wrestled
- 00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:43,474 with all kind of guys.
- 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,767 He wasn't too good, though.
- 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:45,935 This one black guy had him pinned down
- 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,062 for 15 minutes straight.
- 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,730 Butters, are you sure about this?
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,565 You have to be absolutely sure.
- 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,234 Inspector Butters gets all the facts.
- 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,902 I even got some neat-o pictures.
- 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,326 The only thing I can't figure out
- 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,286 is why dad told you he was going shopping for your present
- 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,830 when he was going out seeing movies and wrestling?
- 00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,582 Oh, did you have a nice trip, Ma?
- 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,709 See you next fall.
- 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,127 Mom?
- 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,129 Butters! - Well, that's me!
- 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,510 Paint... Must paint...
- 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,178 Everything clean...
- 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,888 Paint...
- 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,432 Well, honey, you've painted the entire house
- 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,809 three times.
- 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:27,977 Must paint.
- 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,980 Everything clean. Everything new.
- 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,982 Say, Butters, I'm having real trouble
- 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,692 finding an anniversary present for mom.
- 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:35,734 Any ideas?
- 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,486 Hmm, I can't think of one.
- 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,154 Well, then, it looks like I'm gonna have to
- 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,489 go out shopping again.
- 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,157 Ah! Paint.
- 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,118 Everything clean, everything new.
- 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,369 Paint.
- 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:49,456 I'll be back in a little while.
- 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,208 Should I go try and see what he gets you again, Mom?
- 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,168 I don't think Daddy's shopping.
- 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,671 I think Daddy's going out wrestling again.
- 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,465 Paint. Paint.
- 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,092 Must be made clean.
- 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,051 New.
- 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,720 Hey, a new paintbrush.
- 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,430 That's what Dad could get Mom for their anniversary.
- 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:05,681 I gotta go tell him.
- 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,599 Must clean Butters.
- 00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:08,600 Clean.
- 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:11,061 Never be clean.
- 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,772 Must...kill?
- 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,733 The only way...
- 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,360 Must kill Butters.
- 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,778 Paint.
- 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,947 Butters! - Well, that's me!
- 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:27,494 One, please.
- 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,704 Locker 213.
- 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,206 Thanks.
- 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:35,669 That's what takes me high
- 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,714 Dad? Dad, you in here?
- 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,470 Hello, anybody in here?
- 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,221 There, do you think that works?
- 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,639 Well, that's four fingers. Try five.
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,266 Mr. Garrison?
- 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,184 Who is that?
- 00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:54,188 Dad?
- 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,606 Dad!
- 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,107 Are you wrestling in here?
- 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,108 Dad?
- 00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,735 This room's taken.
- 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,072 Oh, pardon me, sirs.
- 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,365 Dad?
- 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,075 No.
- 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,701 Hmm.
- 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,745 Ah, Butters!
- 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,121 Hi, Dad!
- 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,623 Oh, God.
- 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,500 I'm glad I found ya.
- 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,335 I think I know the perfect anniversary present for Mom.
- 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,337 What are you doing with your wiener out there, Dad?
- 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,422 Butters, you need to leave here right now.
- 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,132 You need to get out of here.
- 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,385 Go home and wait for me to talk to you.
- 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:25,886 Oh, alright then.
- 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,514 We'll see you at home.
- 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,516 Oh, Jesus, no.
- 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:31,809 Oh, what have I done?
- 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,646 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,106 Well, that's me!
- 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,316 Butters. Oh, Butters.
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,610 Could you come see me in my study real quick?
- 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,070 Hey, Dad.
- 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,655 Come here, Son. I want to have a talk with you.
- 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,989 Well, sure thing, Dad.
- 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:48,659 Son, I want to talk to you about lying.
- 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:51,745 Oh, I know lying's bad, Dad. You told me so.
- 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,664 Yes, it sure can be.
- 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,416 But there are also times
- 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,669 when distorting the truth a little is appropriate.
- 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,921 These are called "little white lies."
- 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,589 Little white lies?
- 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,883 You see, sometimes telling a little white lie is okay.
- 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,261 Like, for instance, when you catch your father
- 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,596 jacking off in a gay men's bath house.
- 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:10,681 Who's Jack?
- 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,850 Butters, the point is that
- 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,602 I think that if you told Mommy what Daddy was doing tonight,
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,605 well, she might go completely insane.
- 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,982 Oh, no, that won't happen, Dad.
- 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,608 It won't? Alright, good.
- 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,027 No, because I already told Mom and she's fine.
- 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,737 You what?
- 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:28,657 Butters, Mommy wants to take you for a little drive now.
- 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,075 A drive? Oh, boy!
- 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,286 I love a good drive. Is Dad coming, too?
- 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,621 No, sweetie. Daddy needs to sit and think.
- 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,165 Alright. See you in a bit, Dad.
- 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,792 Oh, boy, a drive.
- 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:42,629 What a bright time, it's the right time
- 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,423 Oh, jeez, you wouldn't believe how angry I was
- 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,341 when the teacher said I had to share my finger paints,
- 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,260 because I've been sharing them all along.
- 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,512 Butters, you know that Mommy loves you
- 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,680 an awful lot, don't you?
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,141 Well, sure I do, Mom. I love you, too.
- 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,642 And sometimes mommies do things
- 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,644 that seem hurtful to their babies,
- 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,771 but it's really for the best.
- 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:01,732 You mean like the time you washed my mouth out with soap
- 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,233 for saying "nut sack" in front of Grandma.
- 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,860 Yeah, I need to behave myself.
- 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,278 If a mommy has to end her life,
- 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,654 she can't let her baby alone in the world
- 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,157 to be raised by a sick pervert.
- 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,409 Well, sure, that makes sense, I suppose--yeah.
- 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:13,744 Hey, did you see my mittens anywhere?
- 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,204 It's cold out here.
- 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,247 I'm going to get out of the car now, Butters.
- 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,583 I want you to stay put with your seatbelt fastened.
- 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,710 Oh, well, alright, Mom.
- 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,297 Okay, then.
- 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,050 You know, I think the car might be moving, Mom.
- 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,552 Yep, I'm pretty sure the car's moving.
- 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,179 Looks like I'm heading for the water.
- 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:34,598 Shh. Shh. It's okay, baby.
- 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,767 Mommy will be with you very soon.
- 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,435 Well, I think--
- 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,562 Yep, it looks like the car's filling up with water.
- 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,523 Yeah, I think maybe now might be a good time
- 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,817 to come back inside the car and drive, Mom.
- 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,236 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,071 Well, that's me!
- 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,614 "Dear Bastard Husband,"
- 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,824 No. "Dear Lying Son of a Bitch!"
- 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,284 No.
- 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,119 "Dear Ass Face." Yes, that's it.
- 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,246 "I will no longer--"
- 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,622 Linda, what are you doing?
- 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,415 Stay away from me, bastard!
- 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,042 Linda, I know this is very hard.
- 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,086 You don't know anything!
- 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,963 I've been wanting to stop going to those places, Linda,
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:06,964 but I couldn't.
- 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,006 I still love you.
- 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,800 Then why, Chris, why?
- 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,803 It just--it started as some curiosity on the internet.
- 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:15,389 I would chat with other married guys in the chat rooms,
- 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,558 and, well, the things they would talk about, Linda.
- 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,560 I don't know why I found it exciting; I just did.
- 00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,770 And it grew from there and spun out of control.
- 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,481 And... Damn you, internet!
- 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,567 You don't have to worry about your family
- 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,360 being in your way anymore.
- 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,571 No, Linda. I don't want that lifestyle.
- 00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:32,447 It's just kind of an addiction.
- 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,616 I want help, and I'm going to get help.
- 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,535 Please, just give me a chance to make this all up to you.
- 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,161 We can have a normal life.
- 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,706 There is no going back, Chris.
- 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:41,873 Sure there is.
- 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,585 No! Our son is dead.
- 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,712 What?
- 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,630 I killed him.
- 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,215 I was going to end it all
- 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,593 and everything spun out of control for me.
- 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:56,513 I drowned Butters in the car, Chris!
- 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:57,889 Oh, no.
- 00:09:58,015 --> 00:10:01,018 No, no, Jesus, Linda. What were you thinking?
- 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,603 I wasn't thinking!
- 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,354 I couldn't think.
- 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,357 You destroyed my life, you!
- 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,943 Oh, God, what have I done?
- 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,237 Oh, Butters!
- 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,031 This can't be happening.
- 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,616 This is a bad dream.
- 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,701 Just go away and let me die!
- 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,369 No, Linda, we--
- 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,246 I'm a murderer, Chris.
- 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:25,083 I don't have a life now!
- 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,002 Linda, Butters is gone.
- 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,420 Oh, Christ.
- 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,755 If Butters is gone,
- 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,215 there's nothing we can do about that.
- 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,925 But I won't let you go to jail. I promise.
- 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,136 Linda, please.
- 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,649 Oh, boy, this thing ain't never gonna stop.
- 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:51,318 I must be all the way down to Denver by now.
- 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,112 Crash!
- 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,530 Oh, whoopee!
- 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:56,907 Finally.
- 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,450 Well, now that the car has come to a stop,
- 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:00,243 it's safe for me to unfasten my seatbelt.
- 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:05,582 Boy, Mom must be worried sick about me right now.
- 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:09,461 I gotta get back home.
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,213 Gee whiz. Where the heck am I?
- 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,133 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,802 Well, that's me!
- 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,095 Tom, I'm standing in front of the home
- 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,846 of Chris and Linda Stotch.
- 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,807 They're living every parent's nightmare right now,
- 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,266 As last night, while Mrs. Stotch was driving
- 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:24,851 with her son in the car,
- 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,103 a man stopped her, put a gun to her head,
- 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,604 and took her son away.
- 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,940 When asked who the man was, Mrs. Stotch replied,
- 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,983 "some Puerto Rican guy."
- 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,610 Naturally, the police are on an all-out manhunt
- 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,904 for some Puerto Rican guy.
- 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,907 Looks like the parents are about to make a statement, Tom.
- 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,367 Mrs. Stotch. Mrs. Stotch.
- 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,952 Any word yet from the man who took your son?
- 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,412 No, no. Not yet.
- 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,414 But if you're out there, we beg you.
- 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,458 We just want our baby returned safely back to us.
- 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,335 Mrs. Stotch, what did the kidnapper look like?
- 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,336 Puerto Rican.
- 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,671 Was he tall? Short?
- 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,799 He was average Puerto Rican height.
- 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,135 Please, just bring our baby back to me.
- 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:01,304 Butters! - Well, that's me!
- 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:03,557 So then my friend started hollering at me, saying,
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,100 "you took my rubber bands."
- 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,309 Well, I didn't take 'em; Craig did.
- 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,061 I saw Craig take 'em.
- 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,688 Anyway, boy, I sure am lucky you came along, Mister.
- 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,148 Yeah, too bad you're not a broad
- 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,358 'cause I need some God damn poontang.
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,318 Yeah, I could use some God damn poontang myself
- 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,987 right now.
- 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,029 Have you ever been to Bennigan's, Mister?
- 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,740 Oh, it sure is great.
- 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,658 I'm going to Bennigan's tomorrow night with my family.
- 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,784 Oh, I can just see it now.
- 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,453 We'll walk in the front doors
- 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,954 and the nice Bennigan's hostess lady
- 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,622 will take us to our cozy booth.
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,625 Then we'll order some mozzarella sticks for appetizers.
- 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,961 Dad will open his present; Mom will open hers.
- 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,422 Then the Bennigan's waitstaff will sing.
- 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:36,923 Happy, happy anniversary
- 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,967 from everyone at Bennigan's
- 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:42,554 Happy, happy anniversary from everyone at Bennigan's
- 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,847 Happy, happy anniversary
- 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,682 from everyone at Bennigan's
- 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,725 Happy, happy--
- 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,143 Ooh, are we stopping for sodas?
- 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,187 Hey, can I get a chocolate milk?
- 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,696 He must like T.G.I. Friday's.
- 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,076 Let us handle it.
- 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,953 Barbrady.
- 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,205 Hello?
- 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,372 Oh, hello.
- 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:10,373 Who is this?
- 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,875 Who is this?
- 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,877 Uh, is this the Stotch residence?
- 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,962 Yes, are you calling about the abduction?
- 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,047 No.
- 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,299 Oh. Are you Puerto Rican?
- 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,385 No.
- 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:23,762 We need to keep this line clear.
- 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,139 Call back another day.
- 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,016 It wasn't the abductor. Sorry.
- 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,268 Chief, two more parents from the next town over
- 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:31,937 have shown up, saying their child
- 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,271 might've been killed by the same guy
- 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,023 that took the Stotch boy.
- 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,399 Really?
- 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,652 This is John and Patsy Ramsey from Boulder.
- 00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:39,986 We saw your story on the news.
- 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,947 We're so sorry to hear about your loss.
- 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,156 Our daughter was killed a few years ago
- 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,908 in our house.
- 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,118 Yes, I remember hearing something about that.
- 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:50,038 And we realized the man that murdered your son
- 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,165 must be the same person that killed our daughter.
- 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,792 Yeah, because we certainly didn't do it.
- 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,710 No.
- 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:56,753 No. - No.
- 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,547 Well, our son was abducted.
- 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,048 We don't know that he's dead yet.
- 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,425 Right...
- 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:05,554 Butters! Well, that's me!
- 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,681 Sir? Hello?
- 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,099 Yeah, what can I do for ya?
- 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,809 I have to get to South Park.
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,143 If you give me a ride,
- 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,062 I can pay you the $4 I made at the titty bar.
- 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,314 Sorry, wife took the car to Estes Park for the weekend.
- 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,567 Won't be back until Sunday.
- 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,318 I can give you a ride Sunday if you like.
- 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,945 I can't wait till Sunday.
- 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,822 I'm eating with my family at Bennigan's tomorrow.
- 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,323 Well, then, looks like you're walking.
- 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,616 Will I eventually get to South Park
- 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:27,951 if I follow this road?
- 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,703 That road leads to Conifer.
- 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,829 You want to go to South Park,
- 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,956 you gotta go down that road.
- 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,920 Of course, I ain't never seen anyone go up that road.
- 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,673 Six years ago a group of campers went up there and got lost.
- 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,466 Had to eat each other to stay alive.
- 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:44,926 Used to be the way to the O'Reilly house.
- 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,344 He butchered over 50 children
- 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,096 and kept their bodies in a cellar.
- 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,265 But you should find an old bridge about halfway up.
- 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,766 That bridge is cursed, you know.
- 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,685 They built it with the bones of 200 Chinese laborers
- 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,020 who were massacred in '34.
- 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:58,148 Yeah, a lot of history on that road.
- 00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,275 Well, it's my Parents' anniversary tomorrow
- 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,360 and they're gonna be awful sad if I'm not there with them.
- 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,613 Well, good luck then.
- 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,199 Oh, jeez.
- 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,828 Or is South Park down that road?
- 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,497 It's so very hard to lose a loved one, isn't it?
- 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,416 Yes, it--it sure is.
- 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,502 Thank goodness we have each other to share our grief.
- 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:20,629 Thank goodness.
- 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:21,630 Here he is.
- 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,006 John, Patsy.
- 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,633 Hello, Gary. Great to see you.
- 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,967 Chris and Linda,
- 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,969 this is our good friend Congressman Gary Condit.
- 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,387 He also lost someone close to him
- 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,014 and thinks it has something to do with
- 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,724 the same Puerto Rican guy that hurt our kids.
- 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,643 We're going to get that son of a bitch.
- 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,895 Yes, I sure hope we do.
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,271 I spoke with the F.B.I.,
- 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,648 and some Puerto Rican guy
- 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,108 has just made their number one most wanted.
- 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,736 Oh, good. Maybe now they'll catch him.
- 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,696 Oh, here's another member of our support group.
- 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:47,781 O.J.
- 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:48,990 Hey, guys.
- 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,575 Chris, Linda, you know O.J. Simpson.
- 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,535 Oh, sure.
- 00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:56,164 O.J.'s wife was killed by some Puerto Rican guy, too.
- 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,166 Yep, it was some Puerto Rican guy, alright.
- 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,626 So you see, Chris and Linda,
- 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,294 There are people like you all over the country
- 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,338 who have been affected by some Puerto Rican guy.
- 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,756 Hey, let's make Chris and Linda
- 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,591 an official part of the group.
- 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:07,842 Yeah! - Alright!
- 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,261 One of us. One of us.
- 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:11,513 Gooble gobble.
- 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,682 One of us. One of us.
- 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,767 Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble.
- 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,768 Gooble gobble.
- 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,812 One of us. One of us.
- 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,693 For family fun and great food, too
- 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,779 come on down to Bennigan's
- 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:33,660 Buffalo wings and fried cheese sticks
- 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:37,330 the best are found at Bennigan's
- 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,126 Ah, hello?
- 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:49,509 So, come and eat at Bennigan's
- 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:54,139 you'll love all our shenanigans
- 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,563 Oh, nut sack.
- 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:02,897 Oops!
- 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,110 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,528 Well, that's me!
- 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,613 No, Linda, because you can't now say
- 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,532 that the abductor was Costa Rican.
- 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,867 You have to learn to keep it straight!
- 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,452 I can't keep it straight
- 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,370 when you keep inventing new parts to the story.
- 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,456 Hey, don't forget that I'm covering for you!
- 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,791 Don't forget your lies started all this.
- 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,334 My lies may have been deceitful,
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,003 but your lies cover up something much more horrible
- 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,838 than anything I ever did.
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:27,839 Happy anniversary!
- 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:28,882 Not now, Butters.
- 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,008 Oh, alright then.
- 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,718 Butters?
- 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,803 Oh, Butters. - Son, I don't believe it!
- 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:34,971 I'm sorry.
- 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,347 The car just rolled into the lake
- 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,891 and then floated all the way down the river.
- 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,392 Oh, my baby's back!
- 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,727 I ain't grounded, am I?
- 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:42,437 No, no, Butters.
- 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,105 Oh, Son, we're--
- 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,525 Oh, we're gonna need you to tell a little white lie
- 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,152 about where you've been, though, alright?
- 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,153 Lie?
- 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,446 Oh, yes.
- 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,822 Darling, you're going to have to say
- 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,240 you don't know how you got home.
- 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,575 No, you have to say that a Puerto Rican man
- 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,577 dropped you off.
- 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,370 Oh, who's going to believe he would just drop him off?
- 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,955 Hey, you should stop your hollering.
- 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,457 It's your anniversary.
- 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,084 You're the one who made up the stuff
- 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,043 about the Puerto Rican, idiot!
- 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,586 Stop it, Mom and Dad.
- 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,338 Well, you're the one that couldn't back it up
- 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,547 with a description, stupid!
- 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,884 Now, gosh darn it, you listen here!
- 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,304 Now, I am sick of these harmless lies and little white lies.
- 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,765 You know, you can call a shovel an ice cream machine,
- 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,600 but it's still a shovel, Mom and Dad.
- 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,477 And you can call a lie whatever you want
- 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,063 but it's still a no-good, stinkin' lie.
- 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,398 And when you start covering up one lie with another lie,
- 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,943 why, that's when you get into real trouble.
- 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:34,572 Boy, I--I've just about had it up to here with you two.
- 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,118 Butters...
- 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,661 You're as right as rain.
- 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,621 You sure are.
- 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,790 I ain't in trouble for hollering at you, am I?
- 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,793 No, Butters, you're the best son in the whole world,
- 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,754 and I am so happy you're alive.
- 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,798 Well, I'm happy you're alive too, Mom.
- 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,550 So now can we go to Bennigan's?
- 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,051 You bet, son.
- 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,096 But Mommy and Daddy have something they have to do first.
- 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:04,310 We have an announcement to make.
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,479 Our son has been returned to us.
- 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,482 Oh, alright!
- 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,775 Butters was missing?
- 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,735 But that isn't all we have to say.
- 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,697 You see, we learned a very important lesson tonight,
- 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,533 and it took the smarts of our young son to show us.
- 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,868 Yeah!
- 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,619 We've learned that deception is wrong
- 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,288 and that the only thing to ever make it right again
- 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,289 is to come clean.
- 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,124 Yeah!
- 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,751 You see, I've been deceiving my wife for several months.
- 00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,753 I was going to gay movie and bath houses
- 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,756 and having sex with random men who were complete strangers.
- 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,550 Yeah-- wait, what?
- 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,177 Ha-ho!
- 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,803 And when I found out I went crazy.
- 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,764 I went crazy and I drove my son into the lake to kill him.
- 00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:44,684 Uh, kill me? Jesus Christ!
- 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,144 Damn, dude.
- 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:49,063 So you see, there was no "some Puerto Rican guy."
- 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,732 He doesn't exist.
- 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,109 And so the people we owe the biggest apology to
- 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:56,154 are the Ramseys, Congressman Condit, and O.J.
- 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,697 We gave you false hope
- 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,657 for finding the person who hurt those close to you,
- 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,576 and we're sorry.
- 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,828 Now we're just happy we won't have to live a life of secrets.
- 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,788 For I knew that even though some of you supported us,
- 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,291 some others were looking at me and thinking,
- 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,752 "you're a liar! "You're a liar!"
- 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,837 "You know something that you're not telling us,
- 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,424 you slimy scumbag liar!"
- 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,176 You know, that's what people would say to me.
- 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,678 And then people would see my wife in the supermarket,
- 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,805 and they would say, "hello," but they'd be thinking,
- 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,683 "ah, there goes that murderer!
- 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:26,935 "You got away with murder,
- 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,687 you murdering, lying waste of life!"
- 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,565 And to me, people might say things like,
- 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,900 "liar!"
- 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:37,654 "Tell us what you know, you Goddamn liar!"
- 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,155 And so to both of us,
- 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,824 people all over town would be saying things like,
- 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,577 "you know goddamn well what happened to your kid,
- 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,412 "so stop acting like victims
- 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:50,250 "and confess, you murdering murderers!"
- 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:54,003 "Confess, liar, confess!"
- 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,965 You know, and that's what people would be saying to us.
- 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,343 And, so, we just had to come forward and tell the truth.
- 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,761 We're sorry we lied to you all.
- 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,137 It won't happen again.
- 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,764 And now if you'll excuse us,
- 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,975 this family has to get to Bennigan's.
- 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,518 Oh, alright!
- 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,439 Wow, dude.
- 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:14,983 Your dad's a perv and your mom tried to kill you.
- 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,776 Yeah.
- 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,528 Boy, you fellas sure are gonna rip on me in school now.
- 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:19,904 We sure are.
- 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,572 I really wish I didn't know that stuff.
- 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,825 I guess I learned that sometimes lying can be for the best, yep.
- 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,910 Oh, well, when I have a chipotle blue cheese bacon burger
- 00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:27,578 at Bennigan's,
- 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,913 I'll forget all about my dad being queer
- 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,039 and my mom trying to kill me.
- 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,124 I'm gonna be okay.
- 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:32,292 Really? - No, I'm lying.
- 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,376 Let's go, Son.
- 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:34,794 Coming, Dad!
- 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,170 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,505 Well, that's me!
- 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,843 Alright, Mom,
- 00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,012 I'm all done wrapping Dad's anniversary present for you.
- 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,221 Oh, is it someone's anniversary soon?
- 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,222 Oh, you.
- 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,640 Just kidding.
- 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:15,975 Ooh, I wonder what it is.
- 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,184 It's a--
- 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:18,644 Oh, shucks, I can't tell you.
- 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,354 But it's really nifty.
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,273 Well, it looks like we're gonna have to do something
- 00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:24,483 extra special for Mommy and Daddy's anniversary this year.
- 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,818 How about on Saturday
- 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,903 we all go have dinner at Bennigan's?
- 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,822 Bennigan's? Oh, boy, you mean it?
- 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,949 Whoopee!
- 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,993 At Bennigan's I'm gonna get the Ranch Hand Baby Back Ribs.
- 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,036 Calm down there, cowboy.
- 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:36,120 You've still got four days.
- 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,747 Four days?
- 00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:39,790 Oh, I don't know how I'm gonna wait that long.
- 00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:43,169 [singing] Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud?
- 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:46,005 Turn a frown into a smile for free?
- 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,674 Who's the kid with the heart full of magic?
- 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,468 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,136 Well, that's me!
- 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,597 [singing] Who's the boy with eyes full of wonder?
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,725 Who thinks being yourself is the best thing to be?
- 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,519 Who's that rascal with the tweezers in his pocket?
- 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,313 Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,939 Well, that's me!
- 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,317 [singing] Jumping in puddles, skipping down the hallway
- 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,568 petting goats at the petting zoo
- 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,278 he loves John All-way - Elway.
- 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,490 [singing] Who's that tyke with the cutest little dimples?
- 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,867 Batting his eyes at every puppy he sees?
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,952 If you look inside yourself you might be surprised
- 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,538 when you find a little boy named
- 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:20,790 Butters!
- 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,542 Well, that's-- that's me, yeah.
- 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,920 Three more days 'til we eat at Bennigan's.
- 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,923 That's 72 hours. Oh, gee whiz.
- 00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:30,341 Well, if you two will excuse me,
- 00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,093 I need to go out and buy a certain special lady
- 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,385 her anniversary present.
- 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:34,637 I hope he means me.
- 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,638 Don't be silly, Mom,
- 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,431 of course he means you.
- 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,849 I'll be back in a little bit.
- 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,184 Butters, you're in charge of the house.
- 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,061 Yes, sir!
- 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813 Oh, I wonder what he's gonna get me this year.
- 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,397 We won't know till we're at Bennigan's.
- 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:46,565 Every year it's the same.
- 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,733 Your father gets me some great gift
- 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,527 and my gift to him falls short.
- 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:51,112 I've just got to outdo him this year.
- 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,321 I've just got to!
- 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,781 Dad's a good shopper, alright.
- 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:56,200 Butters, maybe you could secretly follow your dad
- 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,451 and see what he's getting me.
- 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,078 You mean spy on him?
- 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,871 But ain't that kind of like fibbin'?
- 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,456 No, it's a little different.
- 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,875 You remember when the nice policeman gave you a badge
- 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,168 and made you an Honorary Inspector?
- 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,795 Sure, I do.
- 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,463 Why, I think Inspector Butters could find out
- 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:11,382 what daddy's getting mommy without him ever knowing.
- 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,134 What do you say?
- 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:14,927 Inspector Butters is on the case, ma'am.
- 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,554 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,222 Well, that's me!
- 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:28,816 [ominous piano music]
- 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,368 Hmm, Dad's going to see a movie.
- 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,288 How nice.
- 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:45,791 [doorbell rings]
- 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:50,171 "White Swallow Bath House."
- 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:51,672 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,799 Well, that's me!
- 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,385 I'm back, Ma.
- 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,845 Oh, hi, sweetie.
- 00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,054 Did you get to follow your dad around?
- 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,181 I sure did.
- 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,849 Dad sure had a nice night out.
- 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,851 Well, did you see what he got me for our anniversary?
- 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:05,477 Well, first he went to see a movie.
- 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,271 A movie? Huh.
- 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,523 I wonder why he'd want to see a movie by himself.
- 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,525 I don't know, but it wasn't at the movie theater at the mall.
- 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,277 It was that really old theater downtown,
- 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,446 The Studcat.
- 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,739 I didn't even know it was open.
- 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,949 Wait a minute. What was the movie called?
- 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,534 "Fisting Firemen 9."
- 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,785 I've never seen one through eight.
- 00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:23,329 Oh, my God.
- 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,206 It must've been a real short movie, though,
- 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,541 because Dad came out, like, 10 minutes later.
- 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,126 It must've been a sad film, too,
- 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,878 because he had a bunch of tissue paper with him
- 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,171 when he came out.
- 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,131 Poor ol' dad. Movie really got to him.
- 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,467 Butters, where did Daddy go after the movie?
- 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,468 To the gym.
- 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:38,761 To the gym?
- 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:39,720 Yeah, the White Swallow Spa.
- 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:40,930 Ah!
- 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,473 Yup, he went in there and he wrestled
- 00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:43,474 with all kind of guys.
- 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,767 He wasn't too good, though.
- 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:45,935 This one black guy had him pinned down
- 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,062 for 15 minutes straight.
- 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,730 Butters, are you sure about this?
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,565 You have to be absolutely sure.
- 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,234 Inspector Butters gets all the facts.
- 00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:54,902 I even got some neat-o pictures.
- 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,326 The only thing I can't figure out
- 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,286 is why dad told you he was going shopping for your present
- 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,830 when he was going out seeing movies and wrestling?
- 00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,582 Oh, did you have a nice trip, Ma?
- 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,709 See you next fall. [laughs]
- 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,127 Mom?
- 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,129 [singing] Butters! - Well, that's me!
- 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,510 Paint... Must paint...
- 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,178 Everything clean...
- 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,888 Paint...
- 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,432 Well, honey, you've painted the entire house
- 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,809 three times.
- 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:27,977 Must paint.
- 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,980 Everything clean. Everything new.
- 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,982 Say, Butters, I'm having real trouble
- 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,692 finding an anniversary present for mom.
- 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:35,734 Any ideas?
- 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,486 Hmm, I can't think of one.
- 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,154 Well, then, it looks like I'm gonna have to
- 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,489 go out shopping again.
- 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,157 Ah! Paint.
- 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:44,118 Everything clean, everything new.
- 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,369 Paint.
- 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:49,456 I'll be back in a little while.
- 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,208 Should I go try and see what he gets you again, Mom?
- 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,168 I don't think Daddy's shopping.
- 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,671 I think Daddy's going out wrestling again.
- 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,465 Paint. Paint.
- 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,092 Must be made clean.
- 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,051 New.
- 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,720 Hey, a new paintbrush.
- 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,430 That's what Dad could get Mom for their anniversary.
- 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:05,681 I gotta go tell him.
- 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,599 Must clean Butters.
- 00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:08,600 Clean.
- 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:11,061 Never be clean.
- 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,772 Must...kill?
- 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,733 The only way...
- 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,360 Must kill Butters.
- 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,778 Paint.
- 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,947 [singing] Butters! - Well, that's me!
- 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:26,327 [doorbell rings]
- 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:27,494 One, please.
- 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,704 Locker 213.
- 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,206 Thanks.
- 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:35,669 [singing] That's what takes me high
- 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,714 Dad? Dad, you in here?
- 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,470 Hello, anybody in here?
- 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,221 There, do you think that works?
- 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,639 Well, that's four fingers. Try five.
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,266 Mr. Garrison?
- 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:50,184 Who is that?
- 00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:54,188 Dad?
- 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,606 Dad!
- 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,107 Are you wrestling in here?
- 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,108 Dad?
- 00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,735 This room's taken.
- 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,072 Oh, pardon me, sirs.
- 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,365 Dad?
- 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,075 No.
- 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,701 Hmm.
- 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,745 Ah, Butters!
- 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,121 Hi, Dad!
- 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,623 Oh, God.
- 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,500 I'm glad I found ya.
- 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,335 I think I know the perfect anniversary present for Mom.
- 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,337 What are you doing with your wiener out there, Dad?
- 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,422 Butters, you need to leave here right now.
- 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,132 You need to get out of here.
- 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,385 Go home and wait for me to talk to you.
- 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:25,886 Oh, alright then.
- 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,514 We'll see you at home.
- 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,516 Oh, Jesus, no.
- 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:31,809 Oh, what have I done?
- 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,646 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,106 Well, that's me!
- 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,316 Butters. Oh, Butters.
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,610 Could you come see me in my study real quick?
- 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,070 Hey, Dad.
- 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,655 Come here, Son. I want to have a talk with you.
- 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,989 Well, sure thing, Dad.
- 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:48,659 Son, I want to talk to you about lying.
- 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:51,745 Oh, I know lying's bad, Dad. You told me so.
- 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,664 Yes, it sure can be.
- 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,416 But there are also times
- 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,669 when distorting the truth a little is appropriate.
- 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,921 These are called "little white lies."
- 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,589 Little white lies?
- 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,883 You see, sometimes telling a little white lie is okay.
- 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,261 Like, for instance, when you catch your father
- 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:09,596 jacking off in a gay men's bath house.
- 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:10,681 Who's Jack?
- 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,850 Butters, the point is that
- 00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,602 I think that if you told Mommy what Daddy was doing tonight,
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,605 well, she might go completely insane.
- 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,982 Oh, no, that won't happen, Dad.
- 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,608 It won't? Alright, good.
- 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,027 No, because I already told Mom and she's fine.
- 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,737 You what?
- 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:28,657 Butters, Mommy wants to take you for a little drive now.
- 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,075 A drive? Oh, boy!
- 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,286 I love a good drive. Is Dad coming, too?
- 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,621 No, sweetie. Daddy needs to sit and think.
- 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,165 Alright. See you in a bit, Dad.
- 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,792 Oh, boy, a drive.
- 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:42,629 [singing] What a bright time, it's the right time
- 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,423 Oh, jeez, you wouldn't believe how angry I was
- 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,341 when the teacher said I had to share my finger paints,
- 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,260 because I've been sharing them all along.
- 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,512 Butters, you know that Mommy loves you
- 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,680 an awful lot, don't you?
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,141 Well, sure I do, Mom. I love you, too.
- 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,642 And sometimes mommies do things
- 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,644 that seem hurtful to their babies,
- 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,771 but it's really for the best.
- 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:01,732 You mean like the time you washed my mouth out with soap
- 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,233 for saying "nut sack" in front of Grandma.
- 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,860 Yeah, I need to behave myself.
- 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,278 If a mommy has to end her life,
- 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,654 she can't let her baby alone in the world
- 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,157 to be raised by a sick pervert.
- 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,409 Well, sure, that makes sense, I suppose--yeah.
- 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:13,744 Hey, did you see my mittens anywhere?
- 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,204 It's cold out here.
- 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,247 I'm going to get out of the car now, Butters.
- 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,583 I want you to stay put with your seatbelt fastened.
- 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,710 Oh, well, alright, Mom.
- 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,297 Okay, then.
- 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,050 You know, I think the car might be moving, Mom.
- 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,552 Yep, I'm pretty sure the car's moving.
- 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,179 Looks like I'm heading for the water.
- 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:34,598 Shh. Shh. It's okay, baby.
- 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,767 Mommy will be with you very soon.
- 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,435 Well, I think--
- 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,562 Yep, it looks like the car's filling up with water.
- 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,523 Yeah, I think maybe now might be a good time
- 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,817 to come back inside the car and drive, Mom.
- 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,236 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,071 Well, that's me!
- 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,614 "Dear Bastard Husband,"
- 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,824 No. "Dear Lying Son of a Bitch!"
- 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,284 No.
- 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,119 "Dear Ass Face." Yes, that's it.
- 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,246 "I will no longer--"
- 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,622 Linda, what are you doing?
- 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,415 Stay away from me, bastard!
- 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,042 Linda, I know this is very hard.
- 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,086 You don't know anything!
- 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,963 I've been wanting to stop going to those places, Linda,
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:06,964 but I couldn't.
- 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,006 I still love you.
- 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,800 Then why, Chris, why?
- 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,803 It just--it started as some curiosity on the internet.
- 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:15,389 I would chat with other married guys in the chat rooms,
- 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:17,558 and, well, the things they would talk about, Linda.
- 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,560 I don't know why I found it exciting; I just did.
- 00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,770 And it grew from there and spun out of control.
- 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,481 And... Damn you, internet!
- 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,567 You don't have to worry about your family
- 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,360 being in your way anymore.
- 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,571 No, Linda. I don't want that lifestyle.
- 00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:32,447 It's just kind of an addiction.
- 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,616 I want help, and I'm going to get help.
- 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,535 Please, just give me a chance to make this all up to you.
- 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,161 We can have a normal life.
- 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,706 There is no going back, Chris.
- 00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:41,873 Sure there is.
- 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,585 No! Our son is dead.
- 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,712 What?
- 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,630 I killed him.
- 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,215 I was going to end it all
- 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,593 and everything spun out of control for me.
- 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:56,513 I drowned Butters in the car, Chris!
- 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:57,889 Oh, no.
- 00:09:58,015 --> 00:10:01,018 No, no, Jesus, Linda. What were you thinking?
- 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,603 I wasn't thinking!
- 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,354 I couldn't think.
- 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,357 You destroyed my life, you!
- 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,943 Oh, God, what have I done?
- 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,237 Oh, Butters!
- 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,031 This can't be happening.
- 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,616 This is a bad dream.
- 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,701 Just go away and let me die!
- 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,369 No, Linda, we--
- 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,246 I'm a murderer, Chris.
- 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:25,083 I don't have a life now!
- 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,002 Linda, Butters is gone.
- 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,420 Oh, Christ.
- 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,755 If Butters is gone,
- 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,215 there's nothing we can do about that.
- 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,925 But I won't let you go to jail. I promise.
- 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,136 Linda, please.
- 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,765 [both sobbing]
- 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,649 Oh, boy, this thing ain't never gonna stop.
- 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:51,318 I must be all the way down to Denver by now.
- 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,112 Crash!
- 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,530 Oh, whoopee!
- 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:56,907 Finally.
- 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,450 Well, now that the car has come to a stop,
- 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:00,243 it's safe for me to unfasten my seatbelt.
- 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:05,582 Boy, Mom must be worried sick about me right now.
- 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:09,461 I gotta get back home.
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,213 Gee whiz. Where the heck am I?
- 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,133 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,802 Well, that's me!
- 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,095 Tom, I'm standing in front of the home
- 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,846 of Chris and Linda Stotch.
- 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,807 They're living every parent's nightmare right now,
- 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,266 As last night, while Mrs. Stotch was driving
- 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:24,851 with her son in the car,
- 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,103 a man stopped her, put a gun to her head,
- 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,604 and took her son away.
- 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,940 When asked who the man was, Mrs. Stotch replied,
- 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,983 "some Puerto Rican guy."
- 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,610 Naturally, the police are on an all-out manhunt
- 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,904 for some Puerto Rican guy.
- 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,907 Looks like the parents are about to make a statement, Tom.
- 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,367 Mrs. Stotch. Mrs. Stotch.
- 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,952 Any word yet from the man who took your son?
- 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,412 No, no. Not yet.
- 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,414 But if you're out there, we beg you.
- 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,458 We just want our baby returned safely back to us.
- 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,335 Mrs. Stotch, what did the kidnapper look like?
- 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,336 Puerto Rican.
- 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,671 Was he tall? Short?
- 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,799 He was average Puerto Rican height.
- 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,135 Please, just bring our baby back to me.
- 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:01,304 [singing] Butters! - Well, that's me!
- 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:03,557 So then my friend started hollering at me, saying,
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,100 "you took my rubber bands."
- 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,309 Well, I didn't take 'em; Craig did.
- 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,061 I saw Craig take 'em.
- 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,688 Anyway, boy, I sure am lucky you came along, Mister.
- 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,148 Yeah, too bad you're not a broad
- 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,358 'cause I need some God damn poontang.
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,318 Yeah, I could use some God damn poontang myself
- 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,987 right now.
- 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,029 Have you ever been to Bennigan's, Mister?
- 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,740 Oh, it sure is great.
- 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,658 I'm going to Bennigan's tomorrow night with my family.
- 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,784 Oh, I can just see it now.
- 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,453 We'll walk in the front doors
- 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,954 and the nice Bennigan's hostess lady
- 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,622 will take us to our cozy booth.
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,625 Then we'll order some mozzarella sticks for appetizers.
- 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,961 Dad will open his present; Mom will open hers.
- 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,422 Then the Bennigan's waitstaff will sing.
- 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:36,923 [singing] Happy, happy anniversary
- 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,967 from everyone at Bennigan's
- 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:42,554 Happy, happy anniversary from everyone at Bennigan's
- 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,847 Happy, happy anniversary
- 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,682 from everyone at Bennigan's
- 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,725 Happy, happy--
- 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,143 Ooh, are we stopping for sodas?
- 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,187 Hey, can I get a chocolate milk?
- 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,696 He must like T.G.I. Friday's.
- 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,742 [phone ringing]
- 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,076 Let us handle it.
- 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,953 Barbrady.
- 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:08,205 Hello?
- 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,372 Oh, hello.
- 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:10,373 Who is this?
- 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:11,875 Who is this?
- 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,877 Uh, is this the Stotch residence?
- 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,962 Yes, are you calling about the abduction?
- 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,047 No.
- 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,299 Oh. Are you Puerto Rican?
- 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,385 No.
- 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:23,762 We need to keep this line clear.
- 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,139 Call back another day.
- 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,016 It wasn't the abductor. Sorry.
- 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,268 Chief, two more parents from the next town over
- 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:31,937 have shown up, saying their child
- 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,271 might've been killed by the same guy
- 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,023 that took the Stotch boy.
- 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,399 Really?
- 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,652 This is John and Patsy Ramsey from Boulder.
- 00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:39,986 We saw your story on the news.
- 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,947 We're so sorry to hear about your loss.
- 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,156 Our daughter was killed a few years ago
- 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:44,908 in our house.
- 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,118 Yes, I remember hearing something about that.
- 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:50,038 And we realized the man that murdered your son
- 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,165 must be the same person that killed our daughter.
- 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,792 Yeah, because we certainly didn't do it.
- 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,710 No. [nervous laughter]
- 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:56,753 No. - No.
- 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,547 Well, our son was abducted.
- 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,048 We don't know that he's dead yet.
- 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,425 Both: Right...
- 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:05,554 [singing] Butters! Well, that's me!
- 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,681 Sir? Hello?
- 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,099 Yeah, what can I do for ya?
- 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,809 I have to get to South Park.
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,143 If you give me a ride,
- 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,062 I can pay you the $4 I made at the titty bar.
- 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,314 Sorry, wife took the car to Estes Park for the weekend.
- 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,567 Won't be back until Sunday.
- 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,318 I can give you a ride Sunday if you like.
- 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,945 I can't wait till Sunday.
- 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,822 I'm eating with my family at Bennigan's tomorrow.
- 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,323 Well, then, looks like you're walking.
- 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,616 Will I eventually get to South Park
- 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:27,951 if I follow this road?
- 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,703 That road leads to Conifer.
- 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,829 You want to go to South Park,
- 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,956 you gotta go down that road.
- 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,584 [lightning crackles]
- 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,920 Of course, I ain't never seen anyone go up that road.
- 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,673 Six years ago a group of campers went up there and got lost.
- 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,466 Had to eat each other to stay alive.
- 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:44,926 Used to be the way to the O'Reilly house.
- 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,344 He butchered over 50 children
- 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,096 and kept their bodies in a cellar.
- 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,265 But you should find an old bridge about halfway up.
- 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,766 That bridge is cursed, you know.
- 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,685 They built it with the bones of 200 Chinese laborers
- 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,020 who were massacred in '34.
- 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:58,148 Yeah, a lot of history on that road.
- 00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,275 Well, it's my Parents' anniversary tomorrow
- 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,360 and they're gonna be awful sad if I'm not there with them.
- 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,613 Well, good luck then.
- 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,199 Oh, jeez.
- 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,828 Or is South Park down that road?
- 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,497 It's so very hard to lose a loved one, isn't it?
- 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,416 Yes, it--it sure is.
- 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,502 Thank goodness we have each other to share our grief.
- 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:20,629 Thank goodness.
- 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:21,630 Here he is.
- 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,006 John, Patsy.
- 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,633 Hello, Gary. Great to see you.
- 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,967 Chris and Linda,
- 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,969 this is our good friend Congressman Gary Condit.
- 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,387 He also lost someone close to him
- 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,014 and thinks it has something to do with
- 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,724 the same Puerto Rican guy that hurt our kids.
- 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,643 We're going to get that son of a bitch.
- 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,895 Yes, I sure hope we do.
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,271 I spoke with the F.B.I.,
- 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,648 and some Puerto Rican guy
- 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,108 has just made their number one most wanted.
- 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,736 Oh, good. Maybe now they'll catch him.
- 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,696 Oh, here's another member of our support group.
- 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:47,781 O.J.
- 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:48,990 Hey, guys.
- 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,575 Chris, Linda, you know O.J. Simpson.
- 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,535 Oh, sure.
- 00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:56,164 O.J.'s wife was killed by some Puerto Rican guy, too.
- 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,166 Yep, it was some Puerto Rican guy, alright.
- 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,626 So you see, Chris and Linda,
- 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,294 There are people like you all over the country
- 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,338 who have been affected by some Puerto Rican guy.
- 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,756 Hey, let's make Chris and Linda
- 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,591 an official part of the group.
- 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:07,842 Yeah! - Alright!
- 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,261 One of us. One of us.
- 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:11,513 Gooble gobble.
- 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,682 [all chanting] One of us. One of us.
- 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,767 Gooble gobble. Gooble gobble.
- 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,768 Gooble gobble.
- 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,812 One of us. One of us.
- 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,693 [singing] For family fun and great food, too
- 00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,779 come on down to Bennigan's
- 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,407 [creature howling]
- 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:33,660 [singing] Buffalo wings and fried cheese sticks
- 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:37,330 the best are found at Bennigan's
- 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,126 Ah, hello?
- 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:45,338 [creature howling]
- 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:49,509 [singing] So, come and eat at Bennigan's
- 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:54,139 you'll love all our shenanigans
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,808 [creature growling]
- 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,563 Oh, nut sack.
- 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:02,897 [gasps] Oops!
- 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,110 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,528 Well, that's me!
- 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,613 No, Linda, because you can't now say
- 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,532 that the abductor was Costa Rican.
- 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,867 You have to learn to keep it straight!
- 00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,452 I can't keep it straight
- 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,370 when you keep inventing new parts to the story.
- 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,456 Hey, don't forget that I'm covering for you!
- 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,791 Don't forget your lies started all this.
- 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,334 My lies may have been deceitful,
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,003 but your lies cover up something much more horrible
- 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,838 than anything I ever did.
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:27,839 Happy anniversary!
- 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:28,882 Not now, Butters.
- 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,008 Oh, alright then.
- 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,718 Butters?
- 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,803 Oh, Butters. - Son, I don't believe it!
- 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:34,971 I'm sorry.
- 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,347 The car just rolled into the lake
- 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,891 and then floated all the way down the river.
- 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:39,392 Oh, my baby's back!
- 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:40,727 I ain't grounded, am I?
- 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:42,437 No, no, Butters.
- 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,105 Oh, Son, we're--
- 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,525 Oh, we're gonna need you to tell a little white lie
- 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,152 about where you've been, though, alright?
- 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,153 Lie?
- 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,446 Oh, yes.
- 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,822 Darling, you're going to have to say
- 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,240 you don't know how you got home.
- 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,575 No, you have to say that a Puerto Rican man
- 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,577 dropped you off.
- 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,370 Oh, who's going to believe he would just drop him off?
- 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,955 Hey, you should stop your hollering.
- 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,457 It's your anniversary.
- 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,084 You're the one who made up the stuff
- 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,043 about the Puerto Rican, idiot!
- 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,586 Stop it, Mom and Dad.
- 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,338 Well, you're the one that couldn't back it up
- 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,547 with a description, stupid!
- 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,884 Now, gosh darn it, you listen here!
- 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,304 Now, I am sick of these harmless lies and little white lies.
- 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,765 You know, you can call a shovel an ice cream machine,
- 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,600 but it's still a shovel, Mom and Dad.
- 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,477 And you can call a lie whatever you want
- 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,063 but it's still a no-good, stinkin' lie.
- 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,398 And when you start covering up one lie with another lie,
- 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,943 why, that's when you get into real trouble.
- 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:34,572 Boy, I--I've just about had it up to here with you two.
- 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,118 Butters...
- 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,661 You're as right as rain.
- 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,621 You sure are.
- 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,790 I ain't in trouble for hollering at you, am I?
- 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,793 No, Butters, you're the best son in the whole world,
- 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,754 and I am so happy you're alive.
- 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,798 Well, I'm happy you're alive too, Mom.
- 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,550 So now can we go to Bennigan's?
- 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,051 You bet, son.
- 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,096 But Mommy and Daddy have something they have to do first.
- 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:04,310 We have an announcement to make.
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,479 Our son has been returned to us.
- 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:07,605 [cheers and applause]
- 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,482 Oh, alright!
- 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,775 Butters was missing?
- 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,735 But that isn't all we have to say.
- 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,697 You see, we learned a very important lesson tonight,
- 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,533 and it took the smarts of our young son to show us.
- 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,868 Yeah!
- 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,619 We've learned that deception is wrong
- 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,288 and that the only thing to ever make it right again
- 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,289 is to come clean.
- 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,124 Yeah!
- 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,751 You see, I've been deceiving my wife for several months.
- 00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,753 I was going to gay movie and bath houses
- 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,756 and having sex with random men who were complete strangers.
- 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,550 Yeah-- wait, what?
- 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,177 Ha-ho!
- 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,803 And when I found out I went crazy.
- 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,764 I went crazy and I drove my son into the lake to kill him.
- 00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:44,684 Uh, kill me? Jesus Christ!
- 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,144 Damn, dude.
- 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:49,063 So you see, there was no "some Puerto Rican guy."
- 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,732 He doesn't exist.
- 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,109 And so the people we owe the biggest apology to
- 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:56,154 are the Ramseys, Congressman Condit, and O.J.
- 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,697 We gave you false hope
- 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,657 for finding the person who hurt those close to you,
- 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,576 and we're sorry.
- 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,828 Now we're just happy we won't have to live a life of secrets.
- 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,788 For I knew that even though some of you supported us,
- 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,291 some others were looking at me and thinking,
- 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,752 "you're a liar! "You're a liar!"
- 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,837 "You know something that you're not telling us,
- 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,424 you slimy scumbag liar!"
- 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,176 You know, that's what people would say to me.
- 00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,678 And then people would see my wife in the supermarket,
- 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,805 and they would say, "hello," but they'd be thinking,
- 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,683 "ah, there goes that murderer!
- 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:26,935 "You got away with murder,
- 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:29,687 you murdering, lying waste of life!"
- 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,565 And to me, people might say things like,
- 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,900 "liar!"
- 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:37,654 "Tell us what you know, you Goddamn liar!"
- 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,155 And so to both of us,
- 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,824 people all over town would be saying things like,
- 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,577 "you know goddamn well what happened to your kid,
- 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,412 "so stop acting like victims
- 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:50,250 "and confess, you murdering murderers!"
- 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:54,003 "Confess, liar, confess!"
- 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,965 You know, and that's what people would be saying to us.
- 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,343 And, so, we just had to come forward and tell the truth.
- 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,761 We're sorry we lied to you all.
- 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,137 It won't happen again.
- 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,764 And now if you'll excuse us,
- 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,975 this family has to get to Bennigan's.
- 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,518 Oh, alright!
- 00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,439 Wow, dude.
- 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:14,983 Your dad's a perv and your mom tried to kill you.
- 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,776 Yeah.
- 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,528 Boy, you fellas sure are gonna rip on me in school now.
- 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:19,904 We sure are.
- 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,572 I really wish I didn't know that stuff.
- 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,825 I guess I learned that sometimes lying can be for the best, yep.
- 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,910 Oh, well, when I have a chipotle blue cheese bacon burger
- 00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:27,578 at Bennigan's,
- 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,913 I'll forget all about my dad being queer
- 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,039 and my mom trying to kill me.
- 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,124 I'm gonna be okay.
- 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:32,292 Really? - No, I'm lying.
- 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,376 Let's go, Son.
- 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:34,794 Coming, Dad!
- 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,170 [singing] Everyone knows it's Butters!
- 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,505 Well, that's me!
Скриншоты


























