Кенни умирает

00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054

♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,683

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,059

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,811

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,563

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,565

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,733

♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,985

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,614

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,658

♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,125

Alright, Miss Sanders,

all ready for your abortion?

00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,589

Ready as I'm ever

going to be, I guess.

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,299

Well, try to relax.

It will all be over very soon.

00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,304

Doctor, can we turn off

that television?

00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,306

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,642

Now,

there is one more thing.

00:00:58,768 --> 00:00:59,852

What?

00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,104

Have you heard

of stem cell research?

00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,690

I've heard of it on the news,

but I don't know what it is.

00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,650

Well, basically a lot of

amazing studies have shown

00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,402

that stem cells

might be used to fight cancer

00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,653

and a myriad

of other diseases.

00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:10,988

Right now,

a lot of stem cells

00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,157

come from the tissue

of aborted fetuses--

00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,409

I'm sorry,

unwanted children.

00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,828

And if you sign a release,

that tissue can go to study.

00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,539

Oh, well, I suppose

if it can help others.

00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:21,916

The hope is that

someday it might.

00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,834

Okay.

00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,045

Great.

00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:26,879

Well, here we go.

00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,062

Nurse.

00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,397

This is to go to Alder's Labs

for stem cell research.

00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:49,401

Yes, Doctor.

00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,197

♪ On the road again ♪

00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:57,827

♪ Just can't wait to get

on the road again ♪

00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:01,831

♪ The life I love is making

music with my friends ♪

00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,417

♪ And I can't wait to get

on the road again ♪

00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,879

♪ On the road again ♪

00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,716

♪ Going places

that I've never been ♪

00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:16,137

♪ Seeing things

that I may never see again... ♪

00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,305

Jesus Christ!

00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,936

♪ On the road again ♪

00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:28,023

♪ Like a band of gypsies

we go down the highway ♪

00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,277

♪ My baby takes

the morning train ♪

00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,698

Hmm.

00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,158

♪ On the road again... ♪

00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,035

What do we have here?

00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:42,997

Well,

that burned a long time.

00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,498

Yeah,

that was pretty good.

00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,750

Oh, dude,

there goes one.

00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,252

Okay, go.

00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,461

Alright!

00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,673

You've had that cough a while,

Kenny; you okay?

00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,050

Hey, fellas.

Hey, fellas.

00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,802

What, Butters?

00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,554

Eric says you got to come

to his house right away.

00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,805

Tell him we're busy.

00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,557

Oh, well,

he knew you'd say that,

00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,601

so he told me to tell you that

you don't wanna miss this.

00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:05,769

What,

did he lose 100 pounds?

00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,271

Yeah, yeah,

he knew you'd say that too,

00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:11,483

So he said to say,

"up your ass, Jew."

00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,902

Yeah.

00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:16,655

Alright,

let's go see what he wants.

00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,116

Oh, it's all sticky.

00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,661

Alright, Cartman,

what's so important

00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371

you had to pull us away from

lighting cow crap on fire?

00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,956

You're not gonna believe it.

- What?

00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,500

Guess what I have

sitting in my backyard.

00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,627

A trampoline?

00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,212

Better.

- A boat?

00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,379

Better.

00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:33,631

A machine?

00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:34,882

Better.

00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,008

Well, what, Cartman?

00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:40,554

33 aborted fetuses.

00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,767

Oh, yes.

00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,936

What?

00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,812

Mint condition,

tax-free.

00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,814

Cartman, what the hell are you

doing with aborted fetuses?

00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,274

I'm leaving right now.

00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068

Oh, I guess you don't

watch the news, Kyle.

00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,653

You've never watched

the news, fat-ass.

00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,363

And what the hell does that

have to do with anything?

00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,782

Stem cells, numb nuts.

- Stem cells?

00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,408

Oh, and what do you know

about stem cells?

00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,785

What the heck

are stem cells?

00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,161

They're cells

that come from fetuses,

00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,454

and some research shows

that they could be used

00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,455

to treat diseases.

00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,748

It's been proven, Jew.

00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,208

I saw it on

3-2-1Contact.

00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,918

With all the research

that's going on,

00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,212

stem cells are worth three times

their weight in gold.

00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,381

What I have in my backyard

is an aborted treasure chest.

00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,384

I hate you so much.

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,179

Fine,

I don't need you assholes.

00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,640

I can sell these fetuses

all on my own.

00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:31,146

Hello, is this the University

of Colorado Biology Department?

00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,399

Great, I understand

you're currently doing research

00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,109

on stem cells.

00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,027

Cool, because I'm currently

in possession

00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,322

of some aborted fetuses

I'm looking to unload.

00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,199

How much do you pay?

00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909

No, no, come on,

I got a guy in Cleveland

00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,328

who's gonna give me

$80 a pound right now.

00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,955

How about 100?

00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,582

You're breaking my balls.

I'll think about it.

00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,334

Bos-nad Medical Group?

00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,962

Yeah, I called earlier about

the stem cells and the fetuses.

00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,089

Okay, hi, Randy, yeah.

00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,425

Oh, yes, they've been kept

in a cool temperature, yeah.

00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,927

These are primo fetuses, Randy.

I wouldn't jerk you around.

00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,221

So what can your company

give me for them?

00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,473

Oh, Randy,

you're breaking my balls here.

00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,683

You're breaking my balls,

Randy.

00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,184

Oh, please.

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,644

Okay, you tell me where

you can get aborted fetuses

00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,104

for 70 cents on the dollar.

00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,273

You tell me, Chuck.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649

Y'know, I'm just like

the fetuses, Chuck.

00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,526

I wasn't born yesterday, either.

00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,361

Uh-huh, so are you

gonna talk to me,

00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,405

or are we just gonna keep

bullshitting each other?

00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,157

Breaking my balls, Chuck.

00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,367

I gotta unload these fetuses.

You want to do some research.

00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,619

Are we talking here or what?

You're breaking my balls.

00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,538

I'm telling you, if you let

this deal pass you by,

00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,956

you're making

a "fetal" mistake.

00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,125

Heh-heh.

00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,960

110?

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,628

Alright, alright,

we got a deal.

00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,630

Good-bye.

00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,132

Damn, I'm good.

00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,724

Can I help you?

00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,684

Yes, I'm making a delivery

of these fetuses here.

00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,436

Oh, right, the fetuses.

00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,146

We were very lucky you called.

00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,398

Our last shipment of fetuses

was lost in a truck accident.

00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,858

Gee,

that's terrible.

00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,151

So who do I talk to

about payment?

00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,444

This is awful,

just awful.

00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,196

Oh, Larry.

00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,281

This young man has

the new fetuses for research.

00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,282

You're gonna love

these fetuses, Larry.

00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992

They're top-notch.

00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869

Oh, I'm sorry, but we can't

buy those from you now.

00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,246

What?

We made a deal, Gary.

00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,290

I brought them all the way

down here already.

00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,084

I'm afraid the government

has just put a ban

00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,460

on stem cell research.

00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,128

A ban? Why?

00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,671

Too many people

were upset about using

00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,256

aborted fetal tissue for study.

00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,633

It's too bad, too.

00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,095

We really could've helped

a lot of people.

00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,763

Hey, what the hell

am I supposed to do

00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515

with these things, huh?

00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,684

God damn it!

00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,145

It looks like Cartman and

Kenny are ditching school again.

00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,647

Yeah, they're gonna

get busted again.

00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,066

Alright, class,

let's take our seats.

00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,360

Now, before we get started,

Stan and Kyle,

00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,320

the principal needs

to see you in her office.

00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,947

The principal--

oh, come on.

00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,865

We don't know where

Cartman is, Miss Choksondik.

00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,033

She needs to see you now.

00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,368

Ah, man,

here we go again.

00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,703

Use the Jew as a scapegoat.

00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,582

Hello, boys.

00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,626

Wait,

what's going on here?

00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,128

Alright, look,

we don't know for sure

00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,546

why Cartman

is ditching school,

00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,172

but it has something

to do with abortions.

00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,465

That's all we know.

00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,716

You didn't do

anything wrong, boys.

00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,301

We just need to talk to you.

00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,555

Have a seat.

00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,765

Boys, uh...

00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,060

Your little friend Kenny went to

the hospital last night, m'kay?

00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:19,022

And, well,

he's pretty sick.

00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,567

Kenny's sick?

00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,068

Well, how sick?

00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,779

Children,

Kenny has been diagnosed

00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,532

with a terminal disease.

00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,785

But the doctors are gonna

make him better, right?

00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,412

Oh, dear.

00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,705

Mom,

that's what hospitals are for.

00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,873

They can make him better.

00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,166

Randy.

00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,209

They don't think so,

Stanley.

00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:43,797

Your friend is terminally ill,

and that means...

00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,301

Well, son, that means he's going

to be going to heaven soon.

00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:50,679

Wait,

Kenny's going to die?

00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,347

He might, Kyle.

00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,851

But he's our f-f-f-friend.

00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,687

We know, and that's why

he's gonna need you boys

00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,190

to be strong for him, m'kay.

00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,983

He needs you now more than ever.

00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,445

No, this can't happen.

00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738

Kenny can't die.

00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,490

Kenny can't die!

00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,996

Come on, Jack,

you got to be able

00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,664

to offer me more than that.

00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,583

Yes, I realize there's a ban

on stem cell research,

00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,044

but I've got 30-some-odd

human fetuses in my backyard.

00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,880

I'm sure there's other research

your company can do with them.

00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,465

You'll take one?

00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,008

Okay, how much for one?

00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,968

Oh, Jack, you're breaking

my balls here, Jack.

00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,346

Hello, is this Captain Bly's

Seafood Restaurant?

00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,723

Yeah, hi, I've got

a shipment of about 31

00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,767

of the most succulent shrimp

from the West Indies.

00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,477

These are

killer shrimp, Gary.

00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,770

Your customers

are gonna love 'em.

00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,605

What kind of price are you

paying for shrimp?

00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,815

Oh, Gary, you're breaking

my balls, Gary.

00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,025

How about 10 1/4?

00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,777

Balls, Gary,

breaking them.

00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,403

Alright,

I'll call you back.

00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,947

Sweetie, your friends

are downstairs.

00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782

They need to see you.

00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492

Not now, Mom; I've only

unloaded three fetae.

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,202

I've gotta sell the rest

before they spoil.

00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,578

They say

it's an emergency.

00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,205

Alright.

Butters?

00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,122

Yeah?

00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,624

Are you through databasing

the clientele sheet?

00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:01,166

Just about.

00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,251

Alright, well,

you got to take over

00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,252

the telemarketing

for a bit.

00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,378

Oh, okay.

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,295

Just remember

what I taught you

00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,505

and follow protocol.

00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,090

The next number to try

is on the list.

00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,552

Right.

00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,596

Uh, hello, is this Mr. Thompson

with anatomy research?

00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,974

Yes, uh--

hello, sir. Uh.

00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,684

Uh, we have a surplus

of unborn fetuses

00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,478

that we think you could use

for dissection study.

00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,147

Uh-huh, how much will you

pay for that?

00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,650

You're breaking my balls.

00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,403

I said you're breaking

my balls, Mr. Thompson.

00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,113

My--my balls.

00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,323

What is this,

a P.T.A. Meeting?

00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:37,286

Cartman, Kenny's

in the hospital.

00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,080

In the hospital, why?

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832

They told us he has

a muscular disease

00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,501

and that,

and that he might die.

00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,962

Die? Kenny?

00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,715

Don't you say that.

Kenny's not gonna die.

00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,217

I'm going to take the boys to go

see him at the hospital, Eric.

00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,427

We thought you might

want to come.

00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,804

Yeah, yeah, of course.

00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,265

Let me get my coat.

00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,101

There we go,

little buddy.

00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,644

Thank you.

00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,937

You sure you don't want

to take your jacket off?

00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:04,730

It's pretty warm.

00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,150

Hey,

look who has some visitors.

00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,943

Ooh,

what a lucky little man.

00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,614

We'll be right outside

if you need us, Kenny.

00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,033

Hey, dude,

how's it going?

00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,909

Okay, I guess.

00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,287

We brought you a present.

It's a gobo fighter.

00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,955

Don't tell him

what it is, dude.

00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,248

Sorry.

00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,337

Hey, we were all talking about

how when you get better,

00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,130

we're all gonna go down

to Stark's Pond again

00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,591

and go camping,

huh, Stan?

00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:36,303

I...

00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,389

Stan? Stan.

Where you going?

00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,849

I can't.

I just can't.

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,184

Dude,

he needs us right now.

00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,477

I can't see him

like that, Kyle--

00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,936

All those hoses and wires.

00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,521

He's a kid, dude.

00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,648

He's supposed to be running

around and laughing.

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,358

I know it's tough, but--

look at me.

00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,735

I know it's tough,

okay, I know.

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,111

But we have to be tough

right now.

00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,655

And what are we

supposed to do, huh?

00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,989

Stand in that room

and keep making small talk?

00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:56,865

Make believe like

everything's okay?

00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,450

I can't do it.

00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,951

Look, however hard

you think it is for you,

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,078

It's a lot harder for him.

00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,663

Just leave me alone.

00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,206

Stan, you can't leave.

00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,042

I'm not the one

who's leaving. He is.

00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,839

Y'know, it's funny, Kenny.

00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,216

Stan and Kyle

have always sort of been

00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,010

two best friends, y'know.

00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,722

Well, I don't know if I ever

told you this, Kenny--but, um...

00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,518

I kinda always thought

you were my best f-friend.

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,894

I don't know.

00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,188

Yes,

you're my best friend, too.

00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,233

Okay, we're gonna need to give

Kenny some time to sleep now.

00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,275

Don't you worry,

Kenny.

00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,902

I'm gonna find a cure for you.

00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,154

Everything's gonna be okay.

00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,037

Cartman?

00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,580

Oh, Kyle, hey.

00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,667

What's going down, Jew-boy?

00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,752

Cartman, were you crying?

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,921

No, no, I mean, I--I got

something in my eyes.

00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,717

It's the--air in here is just--

oh, man.

00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,553

Hey, Cartman.

00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,930

I care a lot about him, too.

00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,105

I'm gonna find a cure, Kyle.

00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,274

I swear to God,

I'm gonna find a cure.

00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,442

Sure, you will, Cartman.

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,485

Sure, you will.

00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,658

This is where the bulk

of our stem cell research

00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,952

was being done,

but due to the government ban,

00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,912

we're mostly just

packing things up.

00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,165

Doctor, can you tell me

exactly how stem cells work?

00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,250

Look, you have trillions

of cells in your body:

00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,919

heart cells, skin cells,

brain cells, and so on.

00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,629

But before a cell

is designated

00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,215

as a toenail cell

or a pancreas cell,

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,968

it's what we call a stem cell,

sort of like a blank cell.

00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,178

Do you understand?

00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:42,596

Not at all,

but go on.

00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,930

Because these cells

are blanks,

00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,557

they will often

program themselves

00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,768

based on what cells

you put around them.

00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,102

You see this rat?

00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,479

Earlier this year,

00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,272

We surgically removed

the middle of her spine.

00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,899

Then we injected her

with some stem cells,

00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,693

and they became the missing

part of the spine.

00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,236

My God.

00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,988

Nerve cells damaged

by Parkinson's Disease

00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,948

or heart tissue

of cardiac patients

00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,702

might ultimately be replaced by

tissue grown from stem cells.

00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,913

So then could

stem cells be used

00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,040

on someone whose muscle

tissue is wasting away?

00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,500

In other words,

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,335

if a little boy was dying

from a muscular disease,

00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,504

the stem cells could

become new muscle tissue.

00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,546

That's the theory.

00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,256

Well, so then,

00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,300

if the stem cells are placed

next to a Shakey's Pizza,

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,010

they would become

another Shakey's Pizza.

00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,595

And you'd have your own

Shakey's Pizza

00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,472

where you didn't have to

charge yourself to eat.

00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,890

Well, no,

to build another Shakey's,

00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,141

it would be better

to use lumber.

00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,267

Hmm.

00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,727

But, unfortunately,

00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,479

the government has banned

stem cell research.

00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,439

And so...we'll never know.

00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,982

Looks like somebody's

gonna have to try

00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,068

and change

the government's mind.

00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,694

Where are you going?

00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,571

There's a pretty brave kid

fighting for his life

00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:42,948

in the hospital

right now, Doctor.

00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,076

I'm gonna go get him

some bigger boxing gloves.

00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,410

Hey, kid...

00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,872

Give 'em hell.

00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:51,748

Give 'em hell.

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,002

Oh, Doctor...

00:13:56,127 --> 00:14:00,006

Thanks...Thanks.

00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,551

Oh, and hey, kid...

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387

Good luck...

Good luck.

00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,060

Oh, and Doctor...

Oh, nevermind.

00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,608

And see?

Here's one from Butters.

00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,652

It says, "we can't wait to see

you back in school, Kenny."

00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,904

And it has a picture of him

and you in a little airplane.

00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,531

Oh, isn't that nice?

00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,700

You've got lots of friends,

don't you, Kenny?

00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,243

Yes...

00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,369

And what about Stan?

00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,871

Stan?

00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,873

Oh, well, no,

there's nothing here from Stan.

00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,499

But, well, Stan's gonna come see

you real soon, I bet, Kenny.

00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,667

I hope so.

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,419

Hey, look who's here.

00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,712

Stan?

00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,005

Hello, Kenny.

00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,631

I'm Laura Jones,

and this is Bob Farren.

00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,300

We're with the

Make-a-Wish Foundation.

00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,176

Oh, Kenny,

isn't that nice?

00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,553

Make-a-Wish Foundation?

00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,430

We travel the country

giving special little

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,265

boys and girls like you

their biggest wish.

00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,434

Neat, huh, Kenny?

- Yeah.

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,394

So, Kenny,

if you could have one wish,

00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:55,687

what would it be?

00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,066

What's your wish, pal?

00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,572

What did he say?

00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,159

He said his wish

is not to die.

00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:21,504

Okay, and what if

you could have two wishes?

00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,466

What would the second one be?

00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,636

I know, I bet you'd like

to meet Madonna, huh?

00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,768

What was that?

00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,394

He said Madonna's

an old, anorexic whore

00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,812

who wore out

her welcome years ago

00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,272

and that now she suddenly

speaks with a British accent,

00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,482

and she thinks

she can play guitar,

00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,108

and she should go

fuck herself.

00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,445

Should I come in now?

00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,488

Uh, not quite yet.

00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,206

Hello, there, children.

- Hey, Chef.

00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,083

How's it going?

- Bad.

00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,044

Yeah, things have

been better, huh?

00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,630

Why would God

let Kenny die, Chef, why?

00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,757

Kenny's my f-friend.

00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,884

Why can't God

take someone else's f-f-friend?

00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:11,805

Stan, sometimes God

takes those closest to us

00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,307

because it makes him

feel better about himself.

00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,143

He's a very vengeful God,

Stan.

00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,521

He's all pissed off

about something we did

00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,064

thousands of years ago.

00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,066

He just can't get over it.

00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,901

So he doesn't care

who he takes:

00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,945

children, puppies--

it don't matter to him

00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,406

so long as it makes us sad.

00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:30,907

Do you understand?

00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,909

But then why does God give us

anything to start with?

00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,285

Well,

look at it this way.

00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,037

If you want to make

a baby cry,

00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,165

first you give it a lollipop,

then you take it away.

00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,501

If you never give it

a lollipop to begin with,

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,878

then you would have

nothing to cry about.

00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,338

That's like God,

00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,091

who gives us life

and love and health

00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,678

just so that he can tear it

all away and make us cry.

00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,264

So he can drink

the sweet milk of our tears.

00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683

You see,

it's our tears, Stan,

00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:01,187

that give God

his great power.

00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,148

I think I understand.

00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,237

My name is Eric Cartman,

and I live in Colorado.

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,197

My best friend in the whole

world is Kenny MCcormick,

00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,324

and he's sick right now.

00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,076

He's real sick.

00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,786

He's only eight years old,

00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,496

and the doctors don't think

he has very long to live.

00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,166

Look, I realize

that using the tissue

00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,960

from aborted fetuses for

research is a touchy subject,

00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:28,339

but all I know is that if

there's a chance, a chance,

00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,009

that stem cell research could

save my best friend's life,

00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,387

well, I guess I owe it to him

to try and change your minds.

00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,059

I love Kenny McCormick, and...

00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:42,020

and I want you to love him, too.

00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,942

I'm sorry. I'm not the best

speaker in the world.

00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:52,739

Maybe I could put it best

in the words of a timeless song.

00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,951

♪ It was the heat

of the moment ♪

00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,288

♪ Telling me

what your heart meant ♪

00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:06,086

♪ The heat of the moment

shone in your eyes ♪

00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:10,381

♪ I never meant to be

so bad to you ♪

00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,260

♪ One thing I said

that I would never do ♪

00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:18,556

♪ One look from you

and I would fall from grace ♪

00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,059

♪ And that would

wipe the smile ♪

00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:24,145

♪ Right from my face ♪

00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,650

♪ Do you remember

when we used to dance ♪

00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,196

♪ And incidents arose

from circumstance? ♪

00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:36,991

♪ One thing led to another;

we were young ♪

00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:41,913

♪ And we would scream

together songs unsung ♪

00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:45,625

♪ It was the heat

of the moment ♪

00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,962

♪ Telling me what

your heart meant ♪

00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:54,551

♪ The heat of the moment

shone in your eyes ♪

00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,474

And so you see,

now that the ban

00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,934

on stem cell research

has been lifted,

00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,145

we can sell your fetus

to companies like Alder Labs.

00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,813

Oh, I don't know.

00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,315

Look, I can offer you $75

for that fetus right now, Jill.

00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,276

$75? Well, alright.

00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,444

Great,

just sign right here, please.

00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,405

Hi,

having an abortion today?

00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,907

Great, listen--if you'd like to

sell your abortion for research,

00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,534

I'm offering $75.

00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,536

Help you out a little bit

with your medical bill in there.

00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,745

Why don't you sign right here?

00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,247

Excuse me, ma'am,

00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,040

Can I interest you

in selling your aborted fetus?

00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,375

We're not going

to the abortion clinic.

00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,501

I'm gonna have this baby.

00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,295

Oh,

I'm sorry to hear that,

00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,921

because there's a little boy

dying in a hospital right now

00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,715

who could sure use that baby

more than you could.

00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,800

The stem cells from your fetus

could help save his life.

00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,178

Oh, well,

I guess we can always

00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,387

just make another one.

00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,181

Oh, Mark, I love you.

00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,348

Alright.

00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,350

Now Kenny has

a fighting chance.

00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,772

Young man, do you know

where you're going?

00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,357

Yeah,

I'm gonna see my friend,

00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,067

because he needs me right now.

00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,402

Alright.

00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,488

Go, kid.

- Good for you.

00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,035

Hey, Kenny.

00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,874

Oh, no.

00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,752

No.

00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,172

He just--

he just stopped breathing.

00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,632

And it was over.

00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:19,260

But...

I didn't get to see him.

00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,012

Kyle, I didn't get

to say good-bye.

00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,851

Did he say anything

before he went?

00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,146

He just said...

"where's Stan?"

00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,114

And so we will all miss Kenny;

00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,701

his playful laughter,

his innocent smile.

00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:47,455

But we will never forget that

it was because of brave Kenny

00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,291

that stem cell research

was allowed to continue.

00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,126

I let Kenny down.

00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586

I'm his worst f-f-friend.

00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,171

You guys, come quick.

00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,714

What, Cartman?

00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:01,052

It's--why,

it's a miracle, you guys...

00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,845

What, Cartman?

What's happened?

00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:03,638

Look.

00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,850

I put the stem cells

from all the fetuses I had

00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,185

next to Shakey's,

00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,104

and they are replicating

a new Shakey's.

00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,230

It worked.

00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,023

This whole time,

00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,608

you were just using

Kenny's illness

00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:16,943

to lift the ban

on stem cell research

00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,903

so you could sell

your stupid fetuses?

00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,364

Stupid fetuses?

It's my own Shakey's.

00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,991

I actually hugged you.

00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,201

I held you in my arms

and cried with you.

00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,370

I figure I only need

100 or so more aborted babies,

00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:28,413

and I can finish up the kitchen.

00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,497

Aaah!

00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,999

Ahh, Kyle.

00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,709

Kyle.

00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,085

Hey, I wasn't Kenny's

worst f-f-friend.

00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,545

Cartman was.

00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054

♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,683

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,059

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,811

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,563

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,565

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,733

♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,985

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:29,238

♪ [muffled] ♪

00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,614

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,658

♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,125

Alright, Miss Sanders,

all ready for your abortion?

00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,127

[audience laughter]

00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,589

Ready as I'm ever

going to be, I guess.

00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,299

Well, try to relax.

It will all be over very soon.

00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,968

[laughter]

00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,304

Doctor, can we turn off

that television?

00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,306

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,642

Now,

there is one more thing.

00:00:58,768 --> 00:00:59,852

What?

00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,104

Have you heard

of stem cell research?

00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,690

I've heard of it on the news,

but I don't know what it is.

00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,650

Well, basically a lot of

amazing studies have shown

00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,402

that stem cells

might be used to fight cancer

00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,653

and a myriad

of other diseases.

00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:10,988

Right now,

a lot of stem cells

00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,157

come from the tissue

of aborted fetuses--

00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,409

I'm sorry,

unwanted children.

00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,828

And if you sign a release,

that tissue can go to study.

00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,539

Oh, well, I suppose

if it can help others.

00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:21,916

The hope is that

someday it might.

00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,834

Okay.

00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,045

Great.

00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:26,879

Well, here we go.

00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,965

[vacuuming]

00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,062

Nurse.

00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,397

This is to go to Alder's Labs

for stem cell research.

00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:49,401

Yes, Doctor.

00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,197

♪ On the road again ♪

00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:57,827

♪ Just can't wait to get

on the road again ♪

00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:01,831

♪ The life I love is making

music with my friends ♪

00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,417

♪ And I can't wait to get

on the road again ♪

00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,879

♪ On the road again ♪

00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,716

♪ Going places

that I've never been ♪

00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:16,137

♪ Seeing things

that I may never see again... ♪

00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,305

Jesus Christ!

00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,936

♪ On the road again ♪

00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:28,023

♪ Like a band of gypsies

we go down the highway ♪

00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,277

♪ My baby takes

the morning train ♪

00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:34,530

[humming]

00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,698

Hmm.

00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,158

♪ On the road again... ♪

00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,035

What do we have here?

00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:42,997

Well,

that burned a long time.

00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,498

Yeah,

that was pretty good.

00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,750

Oh, dude,

there goes one.

00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,252

Okay, go.

00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,461

Both: Alright!

00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:50,880

[coughing]

00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,673

You've had that cough a while,

Kenny; you okay?

00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:53,966

[muffled]

00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,050

Hey, fellas.

Hey, fellas.

00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,802

What, Butters?

00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,554

Eric says you got to come

to his house right away.

00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,805

Tell him we're busy.

00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,557

Oh, well,

he knew you'd say that,

00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,601

so he told me to tell you that

you don't wanna miss this.

00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:05,769

What,

did he lose 100 pounds?

00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,271

Yeah, yeah,

he knew you'd say that too,

00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:11,483

So he said to say,

"up your ass, Jew."

00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,902

Yeah.

00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:16,655

Alright,

let's go see what he wants.

00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,116

Oh, it's all sticky.

00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,661

Alright, Cartman,

what's so important

00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371

you had to pull us away from

lighting cow crap on fire?

00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,956

You're not gonna believe it.

- What?

00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,500

Guess what I have

sitting in my backyard.

00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,627

A trampoline?

00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,212

Better.

- A boat?

00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,379

Better.

00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:33,631

A [muffled] machine?

00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:34,882

Better.

00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,008

Well, what, Cartman?

00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:40,554

33 aborted fetuses.

00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,767

Oh, yes.

00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,936

What?

00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,812

Mint condition,

tax-free.

00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,814

Cartman, what the hell are you

doing with aborted fetuses?

00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,274

I'm leaving right now.

00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068

Oh, I guess you don't

watch the news, Kyle.

00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,653

You've never watched

the news, fat-ass.

00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,363

And what the hell does that

have to do with anything?

00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,782

Stem cells, numb nuts.

- Stem cells?

00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,408

Oh, and what do you know

about stem cells?

00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,785

What the heck

are stem cells?

00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,161

They're cells

that come from fetuses,

00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,454

and some research shows

that they could be used

00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,455

to treat diseases.

00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,748

It's been proven, Jew.

00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,208

I saw it on

3-2-1Contact.

00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,918

With all the research

that's going on,

00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,212

stem cells are worth three times

their weight in gold.

00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,381

What I have in my backyard

is an aborted treasure chest.

00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,384

I hate you so much.

00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,594

[coughing]

00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,179

Fine,

I don't need you assholes.

00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,640

I can sell these fetuses

all on my own.

00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:31,146

Hello, is this the University

of Colorado Biology Department?

00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,399

Great, I understand

you're currently doing research

00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,109

on stem cells.

00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,027

Cool, because I'm currently

in possession

00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,322

of some aborted fetuses

I'm looking to unload.

00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,199

How much do you pay?

00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909

No, no, come on,

I got a guy in Cleveland

00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,328

who's gonna give me

$80 a pound right now.

00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,955

How about 100?

00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,582

You're breaking my balls.

I'll think about it.

00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,334

Bos-nad Medical Group?

00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,962

Yeah, I called earlier about

the stem cells and the fetuses.

00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,089

Okay, hi, Randy, yeah.

00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,425

Oh, yes, they've been kept

in a cool temperature, yeah.

00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,927

These are primo fetuses, Randy.

I wouldn't jerk you around.

00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,221

So what can your company

give me for them?

00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,473

Oh, Randy,

you're breaking my balls here.

00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,683

You're breaking my balls,

Randy.

00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,184

Oh, please.

00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,644

Okay, you tell me where

you can get aborted fetuses

00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,104

for 70 cents on the dollar.

00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,273

You tell me, Chuck.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649

Y'know, I'm just like

the fetuses, Chuck.

00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,526

I wasn't born yesterday, either.

00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,361

Uh-huh, so are you

gonna talk to me,

00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,405

or are we just gonna keep

bullshitting each other?

00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,157

Breaking my balls, Chuck.

00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,367

I gotta unload these fetuses.

You want to do some research.

00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,619

Are we talking here or what?

You're breaking my balls.

00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,538

I'm telling you, if you let

this deal pass you by,

00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,956

you're making

a "fetal" mistake.

00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,125

Heh-heh.

00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,960

110?

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,628

Alright, alright,

we got a deal.

00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,630

Good-bye.

00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,132

Damn, I'm good.

00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,724

Can I help you?

00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,684

Yes, I'm making a delivery

of these fetuses here.

00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,436

Oh, right, the fetuses.

00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,146

We were very lucky you called.

00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,398

Our last shipment of fetuses

was lost in a truck accident.

00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,858

Gee,

that's terrible.

00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,151

So who do I talk to

about payment?

00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,444

This is awful,

just awful.

00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,196

Oh, Larry.

00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,281

This young man has

the new fetuses for research.

00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,282

You're gonna love

these fetuses, Larry.

00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992

They're top-notch.

00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869

Oh, I'm sorry, but we can't

buy those from you now.

00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,246

What?

We made a deal, Gary.

00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,290

I brought them all the way

down here already.

00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,084

I'm afraid the government

has just put a ban

00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,460

on stem cell research.

00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,128

A ban? Why?

00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,671

Too many people

were upset about using

00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,256

aborted fetal tissue for study.

00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,633

It's too bad, too.

00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,095

We really could've helped

a lot of people.

00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,763

Hey, what the hell

am I supposed to do

00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515

with these things, huh?

00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,684

God damn it!

00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,145

It looks like Cartman and

Kenny are ditching school again.

00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,647

Yeah, they're gonna

get busted again.

00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,066

Alright, class,

let's take our seats.

00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,360

Now, before we get started,

Stan and Kyle,

00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,320

the principal needs

to see you in her office.

00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,947

The principal--

oh, come on.

00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,865

We don't know where

Cartman is, Miss Choksondik.

00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,033

She needs to see you now.

00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,368

Ah, man,

here we go again.

00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,703

Use the Jew as a scapegoat.

00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,582

Hello, boys.

00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,626

Wait,

what's going on here?

00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,128

Alright, look,

we don't know for sure

00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,546

why Cartman

is ditching school,

00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,172

but it has something

to do with abortions.

00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,465

That's all we know.

00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,716

You didn't do

anything wrong, boys.

00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,301

We just need to talk to you.

00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,555

Have a seat.

00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,765

Boys, uh...

00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,060

Your little friend Kenny went to

the hospital last night, m'kay?

00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:19,022

And, well,

he's pretty sick.

00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,567

Kenny's sick?

00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,068

Well, how sick?

00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,779

Children,

Kenny has been diagnosed

00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,532

with a terminal disease.

00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,785

But the doctors are gonna

make him better, right?

00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,412

Oh, dear.

00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,705

Mom,

that's what hospitals are for.

00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,873

They can make him better.

00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,166

Randy.

00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,209

They don't think so,

Stanley.

00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:43,797

Your friend is terminally ill,

and that means...

00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,301

Well, son, that means he's going

to be going to heaven soon.

00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:50,679

Wait,

Kenny's going to die?

00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,347

He might, Kyle.

00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,851

But he's our f-f-f-friend.

00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,687

We know, and that's why

he's gonna need you boys

00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,190

to be strong for him, m'kay.

00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,983

He needs you now more than ever.

00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,445

No, this can't happen.

00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738

Kenny can't die.

00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,490

Kenny can't die!

00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,996

Come on, Jack,

you got to be able

00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,664

to offer me more than that.

00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,583

Yes, I realize there's a ban

on stem cell research,

00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,044

but I've got 30-some-odd

human fetuses in my backyard.

00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,880

I'm sure there's other research

your company can do with them.

00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,465

You'll take one?

00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,008

Okay, how much for one?

00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,968

Oh, Jack, you're breaking

my balls here, Jack.

00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,346

Hello, is this Captain Bly's

Seafood Restaurant?

00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,723

Yeah, hi, I've got

a shipment of about 31

00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,767

of the most succulent shrimp

from the West Indies.

00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,477

These are

killer shrimp, Gary.

00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,770

Your customers

are gonna love 'em.

00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,605

What kind of price are you

paying for shrimp?

00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,815

Oh, Gary, you're breaking

my balls, Gary.

00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,025

How about 10 1/4?

00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,777

Balls, Gary,

breaking them.

00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,403

Alright,

I'll call you back.

00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,947

Sweetie, your friends

are downstairs.

00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782

They need to see you.

00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492

Not now, Mom; I've only

unloaded three fetae.

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,202

I've gotta sell the rest

before they spoil.

00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,578

They say

it's an emergency.

00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,205

Alright.

Butters?

00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,122

Yeah?

00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,624

Are you through databasing

the clientele sheet?

00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:01,166

Just about.

00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,251

Alright, well,

you got to take over

00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,252

the telemarketing

for a bit.

00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,378

Oh, okay.

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,295

Just remember

what I taught you

00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,505

and follow protocol.

00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,090

The next number to try

is on the list.

00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,552

Right.

00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,596

Uh, hello, is this Mr. Thompson

with anatomy research?

00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,974

Yes, uh--

hello, sir. Uh.

00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,684

Uh, we have a surplus

of unborn fetuses

00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,478

that we think you could use

for dissection study.

00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,147

Uh-huh, how much will you

pay for that?

00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,650

You're breaking my balls.

00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,403

I said you're breaking

my balls, Mr. Thompson.

00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,113

My--my balls.

00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,323

What is this,

a P.T.A. Meeting?

00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:37,286

Cartman, Kenny's

in the hospital.

00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,080

In the hospital, why?

00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832

They told us he has

a muscular disease

00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,501

and that,

and that he might die.

00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,962

Die? Kenny?

00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,715

Don't you say that.

Kenny's not gonna die.

00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,217

I'm going to take the boys to go

see him at the hospital, Eric.

00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,427

We thought you might

want to come.

00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,804

Yeah, yeah, of course.

00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,265

Let me get my coat.

00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,101

There we go,

little buddy.

00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,644

Thank you.

00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,937

You sure you don't want

to take your jacket off?

00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:04,730

It's pretty warm.

00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,565

[muffled]

00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,150

Hey,

look who has some visitors.

00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,943

Ooh,

what a lucky little man.

00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,614

We'll be right outside

if you need us, Kenny.

00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,033

Hey, dude,

how's it going?

00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,909

Okay, I guess.

00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,287

We brought you a present.

It's a gobo fighter.

00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,955

Don't tell him

what it is, dude.

00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,248

Sorry.

00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,667

[coughing]

00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,337

Hey, we were all talking about

how when you get better,

00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,130

we're all gonna go down

to Stark's Pond again

00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,591

and go camping,

huh, Stan?

00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:36,303

I...

00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,389

Stan? Stan.

Where you going?

00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,849

I can't.

I just can't.

00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,184

Dude,

he needs us right now.

00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,477

I can't see him

like that, Kyle--

00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,936

All those hoses and wires.

00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,521

He's a kid, dude.

00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,648

He's supposed to be running

around and laughing.

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,358

I know it's tough, but--

look at me.

00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,735

I know it's tough,

okay, I know.

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,111

But we have to be tough

right now.

00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,655

And what are we

supposed to do, huh?

00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,989

Stand in that room

and keep making small talk?

00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:56,865

Make believe like

everything's okay?

00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,450

I can't do it.

00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,951

Look, however hard

you think it is for you,

00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,078

It's a lot harder for him.

00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,663

Just leave me alone.

00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,206

Stan, you can't leave.

00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,042

I'm not the one

who's leaving. He is.

00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,839

Y'know, it's funny, Kenny.

00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,216

Stan and Kyle

have always sort of been

00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,010

two best friends, y'know.

00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,722

Well, I don't know if I ever

told you this, Kenny--but, um...

00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,518

I kinda always thought

you were my best f-friend.

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,894

I don't know.

00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,188

Yes,

you're my best friend, too.

00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,233

Okay, we're gonna need to give

Kenny some time to sleep now.

00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,275

Don't you worry,

Kenny.

00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,902

I'm gonna find a cure for you.

00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,154

Everything's gonna be okay.

00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:42,703

[sniffling]

00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,037

Cartman?

00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,580

Oh, Kyle, hey.

00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,667

What's going down, Jew-boy?

00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,752

Cartman, were you crying?

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,921

No, no, I mean, I--I got

something in my eyes.

00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,717

It's the--air in here is just--

oh, man.

00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,553

Hey, Cartman.

00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,930

I care a lot about him, too.

00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,105

I'm gonna find a cure, Kyle.

00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,274

I swear to God,

I'm gonna find a cure.

00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,442

Sure, you will, Cartman.

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,485

Sure, you will.

00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,658

This is where the bulk

of our stem cell research

00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,952

was being done,

but due to the government ban,

00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,912

we're mostly just

packing things up.

00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,165

Doctor, can you tell me

exactly how stem cells work?

00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,250

Look, you have trillions

of cells in your body:

00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,919

heart cells, skin cells,

brain cells, and so on.

00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,629

But before a cell

is designated

00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,215

as a toenail cell

or a pancreas cell,

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,968

it's what we call a stem cell,

sort of like a blank cell.

00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,178

Do you understand?

00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:42,596

Not at all,

but go on.

00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,930

Because these cells

are blanks,

00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,557

they will often

program themselves

00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,768

based on what cells

you put around them.

00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,102

You see this rat?

00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,479

Earlier this year,

00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,272

We surgically removed

the middle of her spine.

00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,899

Then we injected her

with some stem cells,

00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,693

and they became the missing

part of the spine.

00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,236

My God.

00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,988

Nerve cells damaged

by Parkinson's Disease

00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,948

or heart tissue

of cardiac patients

00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,702

might ultimately be replaced by

tissue grown from stem cells.

00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,913

So then could

stem cells be used

00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,040

on someone whose muscle

tissue is wasting away?

00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,500

In other words,

00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,335

if a little boy was dying

from a muscular disease,

00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,504

the stem cells could

become new muscle tissue.

00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,546

That's the theory.

00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,256

Well, so then,

00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,300

if the stem cells are placed

next to a Shakey's Pizza,

00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,010

they would become

another Shakey's Pizza.

00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,595

And you'd have your own

Shakey's Pizza

00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,472

where you didn't have to

charge yourself to eat.

00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,890

Well, no,

to build another Shakey's,

00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,141

it would be better

to use lumber.

00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,267

Hmm.

00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,727

But, unfortunately,

00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,479

the government has banned

stem cell research.

00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,439

And so...we'll never know.

00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,982

Looks like somebody's

gonna have to try

00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,068

and change

the government's mind.

00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,694

Where are you going?

00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,571

There's a pretty brave kid

fighting for his life

00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:42,948

in the hospital

right now, Doctor.

00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,076

I'm gonna go get him

some bigger boxing gloves.

00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,410

Hey, kid...

00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,872

Give 'em hell.

00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:51,748

Give 'em hell.

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,002

Oh, Doctor...

00:13:56,127 --> 00:14:00,006

Thanks...Thanks.

00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,551

Oh, and hey, kid...

00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387

Good luck...

Good luck.

00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,060

Oh, and Doctor...

Oh, nevermind.

00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,608

And see?

Here's one from Butters.

00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,652

It says, "we can't wait to see

you back in school, Kenny."

00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,904

And it has a picture of him

and you in a little airplane.

00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,531

Oh, isn't that nice?

00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,700

You've got lots of friends,

don't you, Kenny?

00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,243

Yes...

[coughing]

00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,369

And what about Stan?

00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,871

Stan?

00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,873

Oh, well, no,

there's nothing here from Stan.

00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,499

But, well, Stan's gonna come see

you real soon, I bet, Kenny.

00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,667

I hope so.

00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,419

Hey, look who's here.

00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,712

Stan?

00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,005

Hello, Kenny.

00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,631

I'm Laura Jones,

and this is Bob Farren.

00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,300

We're with the

Make-a-Wish Foundation.

00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,176

Oh, Kenny,

isn't that nice?

00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,553

Make-a-Wish Foundation?

00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,430

We travel the country

giving special little

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,265

boys and girls like you

their biggest wish.

00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,434

Neat, huh, Kenny?

- Yeah.

00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,394

So, Kenny,

if you could have one wish,

00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:55,687

what would it be?

00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,066

What's your wish, pal?

00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,862

[muffled]

00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,572

What did he say?

00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,159

He said his wish

is not to die.

00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:21,504

Okay, and what if

you could have two wishes?

00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,466

What would the second one be?

00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,636

I know, I bet you'd like

to meet Madonna, huh?

00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,472

[ mumbling rapidly]

00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,768

What was that?

00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,394

He said Madonna's

an old, anorexic whore

00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,812

who wore out

her welcome years ago

00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,272

and that now she suddenly

speaks with a British accent,

00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,482

and she thinks

she can play guitar,

00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,108

and she should go

fuck herself.

00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,445

Should I come in now?

00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,488

Uh, not quite yet.

00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,206

Hello, there, children.

- Hey, Chef.

00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,083

How's it going?

- Bad.

00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,044

Yeah, things have

been better, huh?

00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,630

Why would God

let Kenny die, Chef, why?

00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,757

Kenny's my f-friend.

00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,884

Why can't God

take someone else's f-f-friend?

00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:11,805

Stan, sometimes God

takes those closest to us

00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,307

because it makes him

feel better about himself.

00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,143

He's a very vengeful God,

Stan.

00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,521

He's all pissed off

about something we did

00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,064

thousands of years ago.

00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,066

He just can't get over it.

00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,901

So he doesn't care

who he takes:

00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,945

children, puppies--

it don't matter to him

00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,406

so long as it makes us sad.

00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:30,907

Do you understand?

00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,909

But then why does God give us

anything to start with?

00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,285

Well,

look at it this way.

00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,037

If you want to make

a baby cry,

00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,165

first you give it a lollipop,

then you take it away.

00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,501

If you never give it

a lollipop to begin with,

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,878

then you would have

nothing to cry about.

00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,338

That's like God,

00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,091

who gives us life

and love and health

00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,678

just so that he can tear it

all away and make us cry.

00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,264

So he can drink

the sweet milk of our tears.

00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683

You see,

it's our tears, Stan,

00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:01,187

that give God

his great power.

00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,148

I think I understand.

00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,237

My name is Eric Cartman,

and I live in Colorado.

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,197

My best friend in the whole

world is Kenny MCcormick,

00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,324

and he's sick right now.

00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,076

He's real sick.

00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,786

He's only eight years old,

00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,496

and the doctors don't think

he has very long to live.

00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,166

Look, I realize

that using the tissue

00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,960

from aborted fetuses for

research is a touchy subject,

00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:28,339

but all I know is that if

there's a chance, a chance,

00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,009

that stem cell research could

save my best friend's life,

00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,387

well, I guess I owe it to him

to try and change your minds.

00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,059

I love Kenny McCormick, and...

[sniffling]

00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:42,020

and I want you to love him, too.

00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,314

[sniffling]

00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,942

I'm sorry. I'm not the best

speaker in the world.

00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:52,739

Maybe I could put it best

in the words of a timeless song.

00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,951

♪ It was the heat

of the moment ♪

00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,288

♪ Telling me

what your heart meant ♪

00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:06,086

♪ The heat of the moment

shone in your eyes ♪

00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:10,381

♪ I never meant to be

so bad to you ♪

00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,260

♪ One thing I said

that I would never do ♪

00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:18,556

♪ One look from you

and I would fall from grace ♪

00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,059

♪ And that would

wipe the smile ♪

00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:24,145

♪ Right from my face ♪

00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,650

[together] ♪ Do you remember

when we used to dance ♪

00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,196

♪ And incidents arose

from circumstance? ♪

00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:36,991

♪ One thing led to another;

we were young ♪

00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:41,913

♪ And we would scream

together songs unsung ♪

00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:45,625

♪ It was the heat

of the moment ♪

00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,962

♪ Telling me what

your heart meant ♪

00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:54,551

♪ The heat of the moment

shone in your eyes ♪

00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,474

And so you see,

now that the ban

00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,934

on stem cell research

has been lifted,

00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,145

we can sell your fetus

to companies like Alder Labs.

00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,813

Oh, I don't know.

00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,315

Look, I can offer you $75

for that fetus right now, Jill.

00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,276

$75? Well, alright.

00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,444

Great,

just sign right here, please.

00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,405

Hi,

having an abortion today?

00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,907

Great, listen--if you'd like to

sell your abortion for research,

00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,534

I'm offering $75.

00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,536

Help you out a little bit

with your medical bill in there.

00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,745

Why don't you sign right here?

00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,247

Excuse me, ma'am,

00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,040

Can I interest you

in selling your aborted fetus?

00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,375

We're not going

to the abortion clinic.

00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,501

I'm gonna have this baby.

00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,295

Oh,

I'm sorry to hear that,

00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,921

because there's a little boy

dying in a hospital right now

00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,715

who could sure use that baby

more than you could.

00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,800

The stem cells from your fetus

could help save his life.

00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,178

Oh, well,

I guess we can always

00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,387

just make another one.

00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,181

Oh, Mark, I love you.

00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,348

Alright.

00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,350

Now Kenny has

a fighting chance.

00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,772

Young man, do you know

where you're going?

00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,357

Yeah,

I'm gonna see my friend,

00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,067

because he needs me right now.

00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,402

Alright.

00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,488

Go, kid.

- Good for you.

00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,035

Hey, Kenny.

00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,874

Oh, no.

00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,752

No.

00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,172

He just--

he just stopped breathing.

00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,632

And it was over.

00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:19,260

But...

I didn't get to see him.

00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,012

Kyle, I didn't get

to say good-bye.

00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,851

Did he say anything

before he went?

00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,146

He just said...

"where's Stan?"

00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,114

And so we will all miss Kenny;

00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,701

his playful laughter,

his innocent smile.

00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:47,455

But we will never forget that

it was because of brave Kenny

00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,291

that stem cell research

was allowed to continue.

00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,126

I let Kenny down.

00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586

I'm his worst f-f-friend.

00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,171

You guys, come quick.

00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,714

What, Cartman?

00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:01,052

It's--why,

it's a miracle, you guys...

00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,845

What, Cartman?

What's happened?

00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:03,638

Look.

00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,850

I put the stem cells

from all the fetuses I had

00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,185

next to Shakey's,

00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,104

and they are replicating

a new Shakey's.

00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,230

It worked.

00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,023

This whole time,

00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,608

you were just using

Kenny's illness

00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:16,943

to lift the ban

on stem cell research

00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,903

so you could sell

your stupid fetuses?

00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,364

Stupid fetuses?

It's my own Shakey's.

00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,991

I actually hugged you.

00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,201

I held you in my arms

and cried with you.

00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,370

I figure I only need

100 or so more aborted babies,

00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:28,413

and I can finish up the kitchen.

00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,497

Aaah!

00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,999

Ahh, Kyle.

00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,709

Kyle.

00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,085

Hey, I wasn't Kenny's

worst f-f-friend.

00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,545

Cartman was.