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Кенни умирает
Kenny Dies
Сезон: 05Серия: 13
Описание
Кенни вот-вот умрёт от редкой мышечной болезни. Картман под предлогом спасения Кенни добивается от Конгресса США легализации стволовых клеток, однако вместо помощи умирающему другу строит с помощью стволовых клеток пиццерию.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,469 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,683 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,059 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,811 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,563 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,565 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,733 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,985 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,614 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,658 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,125 Alright, Miss Sanders, all ready for your abortion?
- 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,589 Ready as I'm ever going to be, I guess.
- 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,299 Well, try to relax. It will all be over very soon.
- 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,304 Doctor, can we turn off that television?
- 00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,306 Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,642 Now, there is one more thing.
- 00:00:58,768 --> 00:00:59,852 What?
- 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,104 Have you heard of stem cell research?
- 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,690 I've heard of it on the news, but I don't know what it is.
- 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,650 Well, basically a lot of amazing studies have shown
- 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,402 that stem cells might be used to fight cancer
- 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,653 and a myriad of other diseases.
- 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:10,988 Right now, a lot of stem cells
- 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,157 come from the tissue of aborted fetuses--
- 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,409 I'm sorry, unwanted children.
- 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,828 And if you sign a release, that tissue can go to study.
- 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,539 Oh, well, I suppose if it can help others.
- 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:21,916 The hope is that someday it might.
- 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,834 Okay.
- 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,045 Great.
- 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:26,879 Well, here we go.
- 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,062 Nurse.
- 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,397 This is to go to Alder's Labs for stem cell research.
- 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:49,401 Yes, Doctor.
- 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,197 ♪ On the road again ♪
- 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:57,827 ♪ Just can't wait to get on the road again ♪
- 00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:01,831 ♪ The life I love is making music with my friends ♪
- 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,417 ♪ And I can't wait to get on the road again ♪
- 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,879 ♪ On the road again ♪
- 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,716 ♪ Going places that I've never been ♪
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:16,137 ♪ Seeing things that I may never see again... ♪
- 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,305 Jesus Christ!
- 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,936 ♪ On the road again ♪
- 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:28,023 ♪ Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ♪
- 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,277 ♪ My baby takes the morning train ♪
- 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,698 Hmm.
- 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,158 ♪ On the road again... ♪
- 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,035 What do we have here?
- 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:42,997 Well, that burned a long time.
- 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,498 Yeah, that was pretty good.
- 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,750 Oh, dude, there goes one.
- 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,252 Okay, go.
- 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,461 Alright!
- 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,673 You've had that cough a while, Kenny; you okay?
- 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,050 Hey, fellas. Hey, fellas.
- 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,802 What, Butters?
- 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,554 Eric says you got to come to his house right away.
- 00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,805 Tell him we're busy.
- 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,557 Oh, well, he knew you'd say that,
- 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,601 so he told me to tell you that you don't wanna miss this.
- 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:05,769 What, did he lose 100 pounds?
- 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,271 Yeah, yeah, he knew you'd say that too,
- 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:11,483 So he said to say, "up your ass, Jew."
- 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,902 Yeah.
- 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:16,655 Alright, let's go see what he wants.
- 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,116 Oh, it's all sticky.
- 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,661 Alright, Cartman, what's so important
- 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371 you had to pull us away from lighting cow crap on fire?
- 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,956 You're not gonna believe it. - What?
- 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,500 Guess what I have sitting in my backyard.
- 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,627 A trampoline?
- 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,212 Better. - A boat?
- 00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,379 Better.
- 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:33,631 A machine?
- 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:34,882 Better.
- 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,008 Well, what, Cartman?
- 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:40,554 33 aborted fetuses.
- 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,767 Oh, yes.
- 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,936 What?
- 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,812 Mint condition, tax-free.
- 00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,814 Cartman, what the hell are you doing with aborted fetuses?
- 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,274 I'm leaving right now.
- 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068 Oh, I guess you don't watch the news, Kyle.
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,653 You've never watched the news, fat-ass.
- 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,363 And what the hell does that have to do with anything?
- 00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,782 Stem cells, numb nuts. - Stem cells?
- 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,408 Oh, and what do you know about stem cells?
- 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,785 What the heck are stem cells?
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,161 They're cells that come from fetuses,
- 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,454 and some research shows that they could be used
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,455 to treat diseases.
- 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,748 It's been proven, Jew.
- 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,208 I saw it on <i>3-2-1Contact.</i>
- 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,918 With all the research that's going on,
- 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,212 stem cells are worth three times their weight in gold.
- 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,381 What I have in my backyard is an aborted treasure chest.
- 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,384 I hate you so much.
- 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,179 Fine, I don't need you assholes.
- 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,640 I can sell these fetuses all on my own.
- 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:31,146 Hello, is this the University of Colorado Biology Department?
- 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,399 Great, I understand you're currently doing research
- 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,109 on stem cells.
- 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,027 Cool, because I'm currently in possession
- 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,322 of some aborted fetuses I'm looking to unload.
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,199 How much do you pay?
- 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909 No, no, come on, I got a guy in Cleveland
- 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,328 who's gonna give me $80 a pound right now.
- 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,955 How about 100?
- 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,582 You're breaking my balls. I'll think about it.
- 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,334 Bos-nad Medical Group?
- 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,962 Yeah, I called earlier about the stem cells and the fetuses.
- 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,089 Okay, hi, Randy, yeah.
- 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,425 Oh, yes, they've been kept in a cool temperature, yeah.
- 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,927 These are primo fetuses, Randy. I wouldn't jerk you around.
- 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,221 So what can your company give me for them?
- 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,473 Oh, Randy, you're breaking my balls here.
- 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,683 You're breaking my balls, Randy.
- 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,184 Oh, please.
- 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,644 Okay, you tell me where you can get aborted fetuses
- 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,104 for 70 cents on the dollar.
- 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,273 You tell me, Chuck. Yeah, I didn't think so.
- 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649 Y'know, I'm just like the fetuses, Chuck.
- 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,526 I wasn't born yesterday, either.
- 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,361 Uh-huh, so are you gonna talk to me,
- 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,405 or are we just gonna keep bullshitting each other?
- 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,157 Breaking my balls, Chuck.
- 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,367 I gotta unload these fetuses. You want to do some research.
- 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,619 Are we talking here or what? You're breaking my balls.
- 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,538 I'm telling you, if you let this deal pass you by,
- 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,956 you're making a "fetal" mistake.
- 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,125 Heh-heh.
- 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,960 110?
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,628 Alright, alright, we got a deal.
- 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,630 Good-bye.
- 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,132 Damn, I'm good.
- 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,724 Can I help you?
- 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,684 Yes, I'm making a delivery of these fetuses here.
- 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,436 Oh, right, the fetuses.
- 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,146 We were very lucky you called.
- 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,398 Our last shipment of fetuses was lost in a truck accident.
- 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,858 Gee, that's terrible.
- 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,151 So who do I talk to about payment?
- 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,444 This is awful, just awful.
- 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,196 Oh, Larry.
- 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,281 This young man has the new fetuses for research.
- 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,282 You're gonna love these fetuses, Larry.
- 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992 They're top-notch.
- 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869 Oh, I'm sorry, but we can't buy those from you now.
- 00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,246 What? We made a deal, Gary.
- 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,290 I brought them all the way down here already.
- 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,084 I'm afraid the government has just put a ban
- 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,460 on stem cell research.
- 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,128 A ban? Why?
- 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,671 Too many people were upset about using
- 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,256 aborted fetal tissue for study.
- 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,633 It's too bad, too.
- 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,095 We really could've helped a lot of people.
- 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,763 Hey, what the hell am I supposed to do
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515 with these things, huh?
- 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,684 God damn it!
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,145 It looks like Cartman and Kenny are ditching school again.
- 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,647 Yeah, they're gonna get busted again.
- 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,066 Alright, class, let's take our seats.
- 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,360 Now, before we get started, Stan and Kyle,
- 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,320 the principal needs to see you in her office.
- 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,947 The principal-- oh, come on.
- 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,865 We don't know where Cartman is, Miss Choksondik.
- 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,033 She needs to see you now.
- 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,368 Ah, man, here we go again.
- 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,703 Use the Jew as a scapegoat.
- 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,582 Hello, boys.
- 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,626 Wait, what's going on here?
- 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,128 Alright, look, we don't know for sure
- 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,546 why Cartman is ditching school,
- 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,172 but it has something to do with abortions.
- 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,465 That's all we know.
- 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,716 You didn't do anything wrong, boys.
- 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,301 We just need to talk to you.
- 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,555 Have a seat.
- 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,765 Boys, uh...
- 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,060 Your little friend Kenny went to the hospital last night, m'kay?
- 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:19,022 And, well, he's pretty sick.
- 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,567 Kenny's sick?
- 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,068 Well, how sick?
- 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,779 Children, Kenny has been diagnosed
- 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,532 with a terminal disease.
- 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,785 But the doctors are gonna make him better, right?
- 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,412 Oh, dear.
- 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,705 Mom, that's what hospitals are for.
- 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,873 They can make him better.
- 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,166 Randy.
- 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,209 They don't think so, Stanley.
- 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:43,797 Your friend is terminally ill, and that means...
- 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,301 Well, son, that means he's going to be going to heaven soon.
- 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:50,679 Wait, Kenny's going to die?
- 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,347 He might, Kyle.
- 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,851 But he's our f-f-f-friend.
- 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,687 We know, and that's why he's gonna need you boys
- 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,190 to be strong for him, m'kay.
- 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,983 He needs you now more than ever.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,445 No, this can't happen.
- 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738 Kenny can't die.
- 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,490 Kenny can't die!
- 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,996 Come on, Jack, you got to be able
- 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,664 to offer me more than that.
- 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,583 Yes, I realize there's a ban on stem cell research,
- 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,044 but I've got 30-some-odd human fetuses in my backyard.
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,880 I'm sure there's other research your company can do with them.
- 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,465 You'll take one?
- 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,008 Okay, how much for one?
- 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,968 Oh, Jack, you're breaking my balls here, Jack.
- 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,346 Hello, is this Captain Bly's Seafood Restaurant?
- 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,723 Yeah, hi, I've got a shipment of about 31
- 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,767 of the most succulent shrimp from the West Indies.
- 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,477 These are killer shrimp, Gary.
- 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,770 Your customers are gonna love 'em.
- 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,605 What kind of price are you paying for shrimp?
- 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,815 Oh, Gary, you're breaking my balls, Gary.
- 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,025 How about 10 1/4?
- 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,777 Balls, Gary, breaking them.
- 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,403 Alright, I'll call you back.
- 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,947 Sweetie, your friends are downstairs.
- 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782 They need to see you.
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492 Not now, Mom; I've only unloaded three fetae.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,202 I've gotta sell the rest before they spoil.
- 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,578 They say it's an emergency.
- 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,205 Alright. Butters?
- 00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,122 Yeah?
- 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,624 Are you through databasing the clientele sheet?
- 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:01,166 Just about.
- 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,251 Alright, well, you got to take over
- 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,252 the telemarketing for a bit.
- 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,378 Oh, okay.
- 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,295 Just remember what I taught you
- 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,505 and follow protocol.
- 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,090 The next number to try is on the list.
- 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,552 Right.
- 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,596 Uh, hello, is this Mr. Thompson with anatomy research?
- 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,974 Yes, uh-- hello, sir. Uh.
- 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,684 Uh, we have a surplus of unborn fetuses
- 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,478 that we think you could use for dissection study.
- 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,147 Uh-huh, how much will you pay for that?
- 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,650 You're breaking my balls.
- 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,403 I said you're breaking my balls, Mr. Thompson.
- 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,113 My--my balls.
- 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,323 What is this, a P.T.A. Meeting?
- 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:37,286 Cartman, Kenny's in the hospital.
- 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,080 In the hospital, why?
- 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832 They told us he has a muscular disease
- 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,501 and that, and that he might die.
- 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,962 Die? Kenny?
- 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,715 Don't you say that. Kenny's not gonna die.
- 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,217 I'm going to take the boys to go see him at the hospital, Eric.
- 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,427 We thought you might want to come.
- 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,804 Yeah, yeah, of course.
- 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,265 Let me get my coat.
- 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,101 There we go, little buddy.
- 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,644 Thank you.
- 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,937 You sure you don't want to take your jacket off?
- 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:04,730 It's pretty warm.
- 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,150 Hey, look who has some visitors.
- 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,943 Ooh, what a lucky little man.
- 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,614 We'll be right outside if you need us, Kenny.
- 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,033 Hey, dude, how's it going?
- 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,909 Okay, I guess.
- 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,287 We brought you a present. It's a gobo fighter.
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,955 Don't tell him what it is, dude.
- 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,248 Sorry.
- 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,337 Hey, we were all talking about how when you get better,
- 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,130 we're all gonna go down to Stark's Pond again
- 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,591 and go camping, huh, Stan?
- 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:36,303 I...
- 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,389 Stan? Stan. Where you going?
- 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,849 I can't. I just can't.
- 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,184 Dude, he needs us right now.
- 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,477 I can't see him like that, Kyle--
- 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,936 All those hoses and wires.
- 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,521 He's a kid, dude.
- 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,648 He's supposed to be running around and laughing.
- 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,358 I know it's tough, but-- look at me.
- 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,735 I know it's tough, okay, I know.
- 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,111 But we have to be tough right now.
- 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,655 And what are we supposed to do, huh?
- 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,989 Stand in that room and keep making small talk?
- 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:56,865 Make believe like everything's okay?
- 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,450 I can't do it.
- 00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,951 Look, however hard you think it is for you,
- 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,078 It's a lot harder for him.
- 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,663 Just leave me alone.
- 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,206 Stan, you can't leave.
- 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,042 I'm not the one who's leaving. He is.
- 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,839 Y'know, it's funny, Kenny.
- 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,216 Stan and Kyle have always sort of been
- 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,010 two best friends, y'know.
- 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,722 Well, I don't know if I ever told you this, Kenny--but, um...
- 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,518 I kinda always thought you were my best f-friend.
- 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,894 I don't know.
- 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,188 Yes, you're my best friend, too.
- 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,233 Okay, we're gonna need to give Kenny some time to sleep now.
- 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,275 Don't you worry, Kenny.
- 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,902 I'm gonna find a cure for you.
- 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,154 Everything's gonna be okay.
- 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,037 Cartman?
- 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,580 Oh, Kyle, hey.
- 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,667 What's going down, Jew-boy?
- 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,752 Cartman, were you crying?
- 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,921 No, no, I mean, I--I got something in my eyes.
- 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,717 It's the--air in here is just-- oh, man.
- 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,553 Hey, Cartman.
- 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,930 I care a lot about him, too.
- 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,105 I'm gonna find a cure, Kyle.
- 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,274 I swear to God, I'm gonna find a cure.
- 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,442 Sure, you will, Cartman.
- 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,485 Sure, you will.
- 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,658 This is where the bulk of our stem cell research
- 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,952 was being done, but due to the government ban,
- 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,912 we're mostly just packing things up.
- 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,165 Doctor, can you tell me exactly how stem cells work?
- 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,250 Look, you have trillions of cells in your body:
- 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,919 heart cells, skin cells, brain cells, and so on.
- 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,629 But before a cell is designated
- 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,215 as a toenail cell or a pancreas cell,
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,968 it's what we call a stem cell, sort of like a blank cell.
- 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,178 Do you understand?
- 00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:42,596 Not at all, but go on.
- 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,930 Because these cells are blanks,
- 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,557 they will often program themselves
- 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,768 based on what cells you put around them.
- 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,102 You see this rat?
- 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,479 Earlier this year,
- 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,272 We surgically removed the middle of her spine.
- 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,899 Then we injected her with some stem cells,
- 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,693 and they became the missing part of the spine.
- 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,236 My God.
- 00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,988 Nerve cells damaged by Parkinson's Disease
- 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,948 or heart tissue of cardiac patients
- 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,702 might ultimately be replaced by tissue grown from stem cells.
- 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,913 So then could stem cells be used
- 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,040 on someone whose muscle tissue is wasting away?
- 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,500 In other words,
- 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,335 if a little boy was dying from a muscular disease,
- 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,504 the stem cells could become new muscle tissue.
- 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,546 That's the theory.
- 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,256 Well, so then,
- 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,300 if the stem cells are placed next to a Shakey's Pizza,
- 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,010 they would become another Shakey's Pizza.
- 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,595 And you'd have your own Shakey's Pizza
- 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,472 where you didn't have to charge yourself to eat.
- 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,890 Well, no, to build another Shakey's,
- 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,141 it would be better to use lumber.
- 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,267 Hmm.
- 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,727 But, unfortunately,
- 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,479 the government has banned stem cell research.
- 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,439 And so...we'll never know.
- 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,982 Looks like somebody's gonna have to try
- 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,068 and change the government's mind.
- 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,694 Where are you going?
- 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,571 There's a pretty brave kid fighting for his life
- 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:42,948 in the hospital right now, Doctor.
- 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,076 I'm gonna go get him some bigger boxing gloves.
- 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,410 Hey, kid...
- 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,872 Give 'em hell.
- 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:51,748 Give 'em hell.
- 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,002 Oh, Doctor...
- 00:13:56,127 --> 00:14:00,006 Thanks...Thanks.
- 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,551 Oh, and hey, kid...
- 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387 Good luck... Good luck.
- 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,060 Oh, and Doctor... Oh, nevermind.
- 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,608 And see? Here's one from Butters.
- 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,652 It says, "we can't wait to see you back in school, Kenny."
- 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,904 And it has a picture of him and you in a little airplane.
- 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,531 Oh, isn't that nice?
- 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,700 You've got lots of friends, don't you, Kenny?
- 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,243 Yes...
- 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,369 And what about Stan?
- 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,871 Stan?
- 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,873 Oh, well, no, there's nothing here from Stan.
- 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,499 But, well, Stan's gonna come see you real soon, I bet, Kenny.
- 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,667 I hope so.
- 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,419 Hey, look who's here.
- 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,712 Stan?
- 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,005 Hello, Kenny.
- 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,631 I'm Laura Jones, and this is Bob Farren.
- 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,300 We're with the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
- 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,176 Oh, Kenny, isn't that nice?
- 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,553 Make-a-Wish Foundation?
- 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,430 We travel the country giving special little
- 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,265 boys and girls like you their biggest wish.
- 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,434 Neat, huh, Kenny? - Yeah.
- 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,394 So, Kenny, if you could have one wish,
- 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:55,687 what would it be?
- 00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,066 What's your wish, pal?
- 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,572 What did he say?
- 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,159 He said his wish is not to die.
- 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:21,504 Okay, and what if you could have two wishes?
- 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,466 What would the second one be?
- 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,636 I know, I bet you'd like to meet Madonna, huh?
- 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,768 What was that?
- 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,394 He said Madonna's an old, anorexic whore
- 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,812 who wore out her welcome years ago
- 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,272 and that now she suddenly speaks with a British accent,
- 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,482 and she thinks she can play guitar,
- 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,108 and she should go fuck herself.
- 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,445 Should I come in now?
- 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,488 Uh, not quite yet.
- 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,206 Hello, there, children. - Hey, Chef.
- 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,083 How's it going? - Bad.
- 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,044 Yeah, things have been better, huh?
- 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,630 Why would God let Kenny die, Chef, why?
- 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,757 Kenny's my f-friend.
- 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,884 Why can't God take someone else's f-f-friend?
- 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:11,805 Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us
- 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,307 because it makes him feel better about himself.
- 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,143 He's a very vengeful God, Stan.
- 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,521 He's all pissed off about something we did
- 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,064 thousands of years ago.
- 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,066 He just can't get over it.
- 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,901 So he doesn't care who he takes:
- 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,945 children, puppies-- it don't matter to him
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,406 so long as it makes us sad.
- 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:30,907 Do you understand?
- 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,909 But then why does God give us anything to start with?
- 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,285 Well, look at it this way.
- 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,037 If you want to make a baby cry,
- 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,165 first you give it a lollipop, then you take it away.
- 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,501 If you never give it a lollipop to begin with,
- 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,878 then you would have nothing to cry about.
- 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,338 That's like God,
- 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,091 who gives us life and love and health
- 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,678 just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry.
- 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,264 So he can drink the sweet milk of our tears.
- 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683 You see, it's our tears, Stan,
- 00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:01,187 that give God his great power.
- 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,148 I think I understand.
- 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,237 My name is Eric Cartman, and I live in Colorado.
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,197 My best friend in the whole world is Kenny MCcormick,
- 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,324 and he's sick right now.
- 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,076 He's real sick.
- 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,786 He's only eight years old,
- 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,496 and the doctors don't think he has very long to live.
- 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,166 Look, I realize that using the tissue
- 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,960 from aborted fetuses for research is a touchy subject,
- 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:28,339 but all I know is that if there's a chance, a chance,
- 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,009 that stem cell research could save my best friend's life,
- 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,387 well, I guess I owe it to him to try and change your minds.
- 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,059 I love Kenny McCormick, and...
- 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:42,020 and I want you to love him, too.
- 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,942 I'm sorry. I'm not the best speaker in the world.
- 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:52,739 Maybe I could put it best in the words of a timeless song.
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,951 ♪ It was the heat of the moment ♪
- 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,288 ♪ Telling me what your heart meant ♪
- 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:06,086 ♪ The heat of the moment shone in your eyes ♪
- 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:10,381 ♪ I never meant to be so bad to you ♪
- 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,260 ♪ One thing I said that I would never do ♪
- 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:18,556 ♪ One look from you and I would fall from grace ♪
- 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,059 ♪ And that would wipe the smile ♪
- 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:24,145 ♪ Right from my face ♪
- 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,650 ♪ Do you remember when we used to dance ♪
- 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,196 ♪ And incidents arose from circumstance? ♪
- 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:36,991 ♪ One thing led to another; we were young ♪
- 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:41,913 ♪ And we would scream together songs unsung ♪
- 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:45,625 ♪ It was the heat of the moment ♪
- 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,962 ♪ Telling me what your heart meant ♪
- 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:54,551 ♪ The heat of the moment shone in your eyes ♪
- 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,474 And so you see, now that the ban
- 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,934 on stem cell research has been lifted,
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,145 we can sell your fetus to companies like Alder Labs.
- 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,813 Oh, I don't know.
- 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,315 Look, I can offer you $75 for that fetus right now, Jill.
- 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,276 $75? Well, alright.
- 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,444 Great, just sign right here, please.
- 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,405 Hi, having an abortion today?
- 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,907 Great, listen--if you'd like to sell your abortion for research,
- 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,534 I'm offering $75.
- 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,536 Help you out a little bit with your medical bill in there.
- 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,745 Why don't you sign right here?
- 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,247 Excuse me, ma'am,
- 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,040 Can I interest you in selling your aborted fetus?
- 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,375 We're not going to the abortion clinic.
- 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,501 I'm gonna have this baby.
- 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,295 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,
- 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,921 because there's a little boy dying in a hospital right now
- 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,715 who could sure use that baby more than you could.
- 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,800 The stem cells from your fetus could help save his life.
- 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,178 Oh, well, I guess we can always
- 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,387 just make another one.
- 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,181 Oh, Mark, I love you.
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,348 Alright.
- 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,350 Now Kenny has a fighting chance.
- 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,772 Young man, do you know where you're going?
- 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,357 Yeah, I'm gonna see my friend,
- 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,067 because he needs me right now.
- 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,402 Alright.
- 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,488 Go, kid. - Good for you.
- 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,035 Hey, Kenny.
- 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,874 Oh, no.
- 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,752 No.
- 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,172 He just-- he just stopped breathing.
- 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,632 And it was over.
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:19,260 But... I didn't get to see him.
- 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,012 Kyle, I didn't get to say good-bye.
- 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,851 Did he say anything before he went?
- 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,146 He just said... "where's Stan?"
- 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,114 And so we will all miss Kenny;
- 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,701 his playful laughter, his innocent smile.
- 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:47,455 But we will never forget that it was because of brave Kenny
- 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,291 that stem cell research was allowed to continue.
- 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,126 I let Kenny down.
- 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586 I'm his worst f-f-friend.
- 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,171 You guys, come quick.
- 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,714 What, Cartman?
- 00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:01,052 It's--why, it's a miracle, you guys...
- 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,845 What, Cartman? What's happened?
- 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:03,638 Look.
- 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,850 I put the stem cells from all the fetuses I had
- 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,185 next to Shakey's,
- 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,104 and they <i>are</i> replicating a new Shakey's.
- 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,230 It worked.
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,023 This whole time,
- 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,608 you were just using Kenny's illness
- 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:16,943 to lift the ban on stem cell research
- 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,903 so you could sell your stupid fetuses?
- 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,364 Stupid fetuses? It's my own Shakey's.
- 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,991 I actually hugged you.
- 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,201 I held you in my arms and cried with you.
- 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,370 I figure I only need 100 or so more aborted babies,
- 00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:28,413 and I can finish up the kitchen.
- 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,497 Aaah!
- 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,999 Ahh, Kyle.
- 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,709 Kyle.
- 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,085 Hey, I wasn't Kenny's worst f-f-friend.
- 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,545 Cartman was.
- 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,469 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,848 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,683 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,059 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,811 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,563 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,565 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,733 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,985 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:29,238 ♪ [muffled] ♪
- 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,614 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,658 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,125 Alright, Miss Sanders, all ready for your abortion?
- 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,127 [audience laughter]
- 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,589 Ready as I'm ever going to be, I guess.
- 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,299 Well, try to relax. It will all be over very soon.
- 00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,968 [laughter]
- 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,304 Doctor, can we turn off that television?
- 00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:55,306 Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,642 Now, there is one more thing.
- 00:00:58,768 --> 00:00:59,852 What?
- 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,104 Have you heard of stem cell research?
- 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,690 I've heard of it on the news, but I don't know what it is.
- 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,650 Well, basically a lot of amazing studies have shown
- 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,402 that stem cells might be used to fight cancer
- 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:09,653 and a myriad of other diseases.
- 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:10,988 Right now, a lot of stem cells
- 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,157 come from the tissue of aborted fetuses--
- 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:15,409 I'm sorry, unwanted children.
- 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,828 And if you sign a release, that tissue can go to study.
- 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,539 Oh, well, I suppose if it can help others.
- 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:21,916 The hope is that someday it might.
- 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,834 Okay.
- 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,045 Great.
- 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:26,879 Well, here we go.
- 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,965 [vacuuming]
- 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,062 Nurse.
- 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,397 This is to go to Alder's Labs for stem cell research.
- 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:49,401 Yes, Doctor.
- 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,197 ♪ On the road again ♪
- 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:57,827 ♪ Just can't wait to get on the road again ♪
- 00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:01,831 ♪ The life I love is making music with my friends ♪
- 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,417 ♪ And I can't wait to get on the road again ♪
- 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,879 ♪ On the road again ♪
- 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,716 ♪ Going places that I've never been ♪
- 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:16,137 ♪ Seeing things that I may never see again... ♪
- 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,305 Jesus Christ!
- 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,936 ♪ On the road again ♪
- 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:28,023 ♪ Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ♪
- 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,277 ♪ My baby takes the morning train ♪
- 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:34,530 [humming]
- 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,698 Hmm.
- 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,158 ♪ On the road again... ♪
- 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,035 What do we have here?
- 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:42,997 Well, that burned a long time.
- 00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:44,498 Yeah, that was pretty good.
- 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,750 Oh, dude, there goes one.
- 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,252 Okay, go.
- 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,461 Both: Alright!
- 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:50,880 [coughing]
- 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,673 You've had that cough a while, Kenny; you okay?
- 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:53,966 [muffled]
- 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:55,050 Hey, fellas. Hey, fellas.
- 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:56,802 What, Butters?
- 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,554 Eric says you got to come to his house right away.
- 00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,805 Tell him we're busy.
- 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,557 Oh, well, he knew you'd say that,
- 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,601 so he told me to tell you that you don't wanna miss this.
- 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:05,769 What, did he lose 100 pounds?
- 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,271 Yeah, yeah, he knew you'd say that too,
- 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:11,483 So he said to say, "up your ass, Jew."
- 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,902 Yeah.
- 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:16,655 Alright, let's go see what he wants.
- 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,116 Oh, it's all sticky.
- 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,661 Alright, Cartman, what's so important
- 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,371 you had to pull us away from lighting cow crap on fire?
- 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,956 You're not gonna believe it. - What?
- 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,500 Guess what I have sitting in my backyard.
- 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,627 A trampoline?
- 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,212 Better. - A boat?
- 00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,379 Better.
- 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:33,631 A [muffled] machine?
- 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:34,882 Better.
- 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,008 Well, what, Cartman?
- 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:40,554 33 aborted fetuses.
- 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,767 Oh, yes.
- 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,936 What?
- 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,812 Mint condition, tax-free.
- 00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,814 Cartman, what the hell are you doing with aborted fetuses?
- 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:52,274 I'm leaving right now.
- 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,068 Oh, I guess you don't watch the news, Kyle.
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,653 You've never watched the news, fat-ass.
- 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,363 And what the hell does that have to do with anything?
- 00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,782 Stem cells, numb nuts. - Stem cells?
- 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,408 Oh, and what do you know about stem cells?
- 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,785 What the heck are stem cells?
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,161 They're cells that come from fetuses,
- 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,454 and some research shows that they could be used
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,455 to treat diseases.
- 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,748 It's been proven, Jew.
- 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,208 I saw it on <i>3-2-1Contact.</i>
- 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,918 With all the research that's going on,
- 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,212 stem cells are worth three times their weight in gold.
- 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,381 What I have in my backyard is an aborted treasure chest.
- 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,384 I hate you so much.
- 00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,594 [coughing]
- 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,179 Fine, I don't need you assholes.
- 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,640 I can sell these fetuses all on my own.
- 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:31,146 Hello, is this the University of Colorado Biology Department?
- 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,399 Great, I understand you're currently doing research
- 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,109 on stem cells.
- 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:37,027 Cool, because I'm currently in possession
- 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,322 of some aborted fetuses I'm looking to unload.
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,199 How much do you pay?
- 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,909 No, no, come on, I got a guy in Cleveland
- 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,328 who's gonna give me $80 a pound right now.
- 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,955 How about 100?
- 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,582 You're breaking my balls. I'll think about it.
- 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,334 Bos-nad Medical Group?
- 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,962 Yeah, I called earlier about the stem cells and the fetuses.
- 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,089 Okay, hi, Randy, yeah.
- 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,425 Oh, yes, they've been kept in a cool temperature, yeah.
- 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,927 These are primo fetuses, Randy. I wouldn't jerk you around.
- 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,221 So what can your company give me for them?
- 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,473 Oh, Randy, you're breaking my balls here.
- 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,683 You're breaking my balls, Randy.
- 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,184 Oh, please.
- 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,644 Okay, you tell me where you can get aborted fetuses
- 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,104 for 70 cents on the dollar.
- 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,273 You tell me, Chuck. Yeah, I didn't think so.
- 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649 Y'know, I'm just like the fetuses, Chuck.
- 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,526 I wasn't born yesterday, either.
- 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,361 Uh-huh, so are you gonna talk to me,
- 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,405 or are we just gonna keep bullshitting each other?
- 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,157 Breaking my balls, Chuck.
- 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,367 I gotta unload these fetuses. You want to do some research.
- 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,619 Are we talking here or what? You're breaking my balls.
- 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,538 I'm telling you, if you let this deal pass you by,
- 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,956 you're making a "fetal" mistake.
- 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,125 Heh-heh.
- 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,960 110?
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,628 Alright, alright, we got a deal.
- 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,630 Good-bye.
- 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,132 Damn, I'm good.
- 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,724 Can I help you?
- 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,684 Yes, I'm making a delivery of these fetuses here.
- 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,436 Oh, right, the fetuses.
- 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,146 We were very lucky you called.
- 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,398 Our last shipment of fetuses was lost in a truck accident.
- 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,858 Gee, that's terrible.
- 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,151 So who do I talk to about payment?
- 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,444 This is awful, just awful.
- 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,196 Oh, Larry.
- 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,281 This young man has the new fetuses for research.
- 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,282 You're gonna love these fetuses, Larry.
- 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992 They're top-notch.
- 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,869 Oh, I'm sorry, but we can't buy those from you now.
- 00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,246 What? We made a deal, Gary.
- 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,290 I brought them all the way down here already.
- 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,084 I'm afraid the government has just put a ban
- 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,460 on stem cell research.
- 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,128 A ban? Why?
- 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,671 Too many people were upset about using
- 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,256 aborted fetal tissue for study.
- 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,633 It's too bad, too.
- 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,095 We really could've helped a lot of people.
- 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,763 Hey, what the hell am I supposed to do
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515 with these things, huh?
- 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,684 God damn it!
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,145 It looks like Cartman and Kenny are ditching school again.
- 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,647 Yeah, they're gonna get busted again.
- 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,066 Alright, class, let's take our seats.
- 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,360 Now, before we get started, Stan and Kyle,
- 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,320 the principal needs to see you in her office.
- 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,947 The principal-- oh, come on.
- 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,865 We don't know where Cartman is, Miss Choksondik.
- 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,033 She needs to see you now.
- 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,368 Ah, man, here we go again.
- 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,703 Use the Jew as a scapegoat.
- 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,582 Hello, boys.
- 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,626 Wait, what's going on here?
- 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,128 Alright, look, we don't know for sure
- 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,546 why Cartman is ditching school,
- 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,172 but it has something to do with abortions.
- 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,465 That's all we know.
- 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,716 You didn't do anything wrong, boys.
- 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,301 We just need to talk to you.
- 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:09,555 Have a seat.
- 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,765 Boys, uh...
- 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,060 Your little friend Kenny went to the hospital last night, m'kay?
- 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:19,022 And, well, he's pretty sick.
- 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,567 Kenny's sick?
- 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,068 Well, how sick?
- 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,779 Children, Kenny has been diagnosed
- 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,532 with a terminal disease.
- 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,785 But the doctors are gonna make him better, right?
- 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,412 Oh, dear.
- 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,705 Mom, that's what hospitals are for.
- 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:35,873 They can make him better.
- 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,166 Randy.
- 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,209 They don't think so, Stanley.
- 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:43,797 Your friend is terminally ill, and that means...
- 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,301 Well, son, that means he's going to be going to heaven soon.
- 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:50,679 Wait, Kenny's going to die?
- 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,347 He might, Kyle.
- 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,851 But he's our f-f-f-friend.
- 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,687 We know, and that's why he's gonna need you boys
- 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,190 to be strong for him, m'kay.
- 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,983 He needs you now more than ever.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,445 No, this can't happen.
- 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738 Kenny can't die.
- 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,490 Kenny can't die!
- 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:15,996 Come on, Jack, you got to be able
- 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,664 to offer me more than that.
- 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,583 Yes, I realize there's a ban on stem cell research,
- 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,044 but I've got 30-some-odd human fetuses in my backyard.
- 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,880 I'm sure there's other research your company can do with them.
- 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,465 You'll take one?
- 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,008 Okay, how much for one?
- 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,968 Oh, Jack, you're breaking my balls here, Jack.
- 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,346 Hello, is this Captain Bly's Seafood Restaurant?
- 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,723 Yeah, hi, I've got a shipment of about 31
- 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,767 of the most succulent shrimp from the West Indies.
- 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,477 These are killer shrimp, Gary.
- 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,770 Your customers are gonna love 'em.
- 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,605 What kind of price are you paying for shrimp?
- 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,815 Oh, Gary, you're breaking my balls, Gary.
- 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,025 How about 10 1/4?
- 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,777 Balls, Gary, breaking them.
- 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,403 Alright, I'll call you back.
- 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,947 Sweetie, your friends are downstairs.
- 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782 They need to see you.
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,492 Not now, Mom; I've only unloaded three fetae.
- 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:55,202 I've gotta sell the rest before they spoil.
- 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,578 They say it's an emergency.
- 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,205 Alright. Butters?
- 00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,122 Yeah?
- 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:00,624 Are you through databasing the clientele sheet?
- 00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:01,166 Just about.
- 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,251 Alright, well, you got to take over
- 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,252 the telemarketing for a bit.
- 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,378 Oh, okay.
- 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,295 Just remember what I taught you
- 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,505 and follow protocol.
- 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,090 The next number to try is on the list.
- 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,552 Right.
- 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,596 Uh, hello, is this Mr. Thompson with anatomy research?
- 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,974 Yes, uh-- hello, sir. Uh.
- 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,684 Uh, we have a surplus of unborn fetuses
- 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,478 that we think you could use for dissection study.
- 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,147 Uh-huh, how much will you pay for that?
- 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,650 You're breaking my balls.
- 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,403 I said you're breaking my balls, Mr. Thompson.
- 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,113 My--my balls.
- 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,323 What is this, a P.T.A. Meeting?
- 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:37,286 Cartman, Kenny's in the hospital.
- 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,080 In the hospital, why?
- 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832 They told us he has a muscular disease
- 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,501 and that, and that he might die.
- 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,962 Die? Kenny?
- 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,715 Don't you say that. Kenny's not gonna die.
- 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,217 I'm going to take the boys to go see him at the hospital, Eric.
- 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,427 We thought you might want to come.
- 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,804 Yeah, yeah, of course.
- 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,265 Let me get my coat.
- 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,101 There we go, little buddy.
- 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,644 Thank you.
- 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,937 You sure you don't want to take your jacket off?
- 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:04,730 It's pretty warm.
- 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,565 [muffled]
- 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,150 Hey, look who has some visitors.
- 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,943 Ooh, what a lucky little man.
- 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,614 We'll be right outside if you need us, Kenny.
- 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,033 Hey, dude, how's it going?
- 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,909 Okay, I guess.
- 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,287 We brought you a present. It's a gobo fighter.
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,955 Don't tell him what it is, dude.
- 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,248 Sorry.
- 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,667 [coughing]
- 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,337 Hey, we were all talking about how when you get better,
- 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,130 we're all gonna go down to Stark's Pond again
- 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,591 and go camping, huh, Stan?
- 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:36,303 I...
- 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,389 Stan? Stan. Where you going?
- 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,849 I can't. I just can't.
- 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,184 Dude, he needs us right now.
- 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,477 I can't see him like that, Kyle--
- 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,936 All those hoses and wires.
- 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,521 He's a kid, dude.
- 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:47,648 He's supposed to be running around and laughing.
- 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,358 I know it's tough, but-- look at me.
- 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,735 I know it's tough, okay, I know.
- 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,111 But we have to be tough right now.
- 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,655 And what are we supposed to do, huh?
- 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,989 Stand in that room and keep making small talk?
- 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:56,865 Make believe like everything's okay?
- 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,450 I can't do it.
- 00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,951 Look, however hard you think it is for you,
- 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,078 It's a lot harder for him.
- 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,663 Just leave me alone.
- 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,206 Stan, you can't leave.
- 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,042 I'm not the one who's leaving. He is.
- 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,839 Y'know, it's funny, Kenny.
- 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,216 Stan and Kyle have always sort of been
- 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,010 two best friends, y'know.
- 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,722 Well, I don't know if I ever told you this, Kenny--but, um...
- 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,518 I kinda always thought you were my best f-friend.
- 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,894 I don't know.
- 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,188 Yes, you're my best friend, too.
- 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,233 Okay, we're gonna need to give Kenny some time to sleep now.
- 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,275 Don't you worry, Kenny.
- 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:33,902 I'm gonna find a cure for you.
- 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,154 Everything's gonna be okay.
- 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:42,703 [sniffling]
- 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,037 Cartman?
- 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,580 Oh, Kyle, hey.
- 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,667 What's going down, Jew-boy?
- 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,752 Cartman, were you crying?
- 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,921 No, no, I mean, I--I got something in my eyes.
- 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,717 It's the--air in here is just-- oh, man.
- 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,553 Hey, Cartman.
- 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,930 I care a lot about him, too.
- 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,105 I'm gonna find a cure, Kyle.
- 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,274 I swear to God, I'm gonna find a cure.
- 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,442 Sure, you will, Cartman.
- 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,485 Sure, you will.
- 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,658 This is where the bulk of our stem cell research
- 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,952 was being done, but due to the government ban,
- 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,912 we're mostly just packing things up.
- 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,165 Doctor, can you tell me exactly how stem cells work?
- 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,250 Look, you have trillions of cells in your body:
- 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,919 heart cells, skin cells, brain cells, and so on.
- 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,629 But before a cell is designated
- 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,215 as a toenail cell or a pancreas cell,
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,968 it's what we call a stem cell, sort of like a blank cell.
- 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,178 Do you understand?
- 00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:42,596 Not at all, but go on.
- 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,930 Because these cells are blanks,
- 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,557 they will often program themselves
- 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,768 based on what cells you put around them.
- 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,102 You see this rat?
- 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,479 Earlier this year,
- 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,272 We surgically removed the middle of her spine.
- 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,899 Then we injected her with some stem cells,
- 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,693 and they became the missing part of the spine.
- 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,236 My God.
- 00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,988 Nerve cells damaged by Parkinson's Disease
- 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,948 or heart tissue of cardiac patients
- 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,702 might ultimately be replaced by tissue grown from stem cells.
- 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,913 So then could stem cells be used
- 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,040 on someone whose muscle tissue is wasting away?
- 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,500 In other words,
- 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,335 if a little boy was dying from a muscular disease,
- 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,504 the stem cells could become new muscle tissue.
- 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,546 That's the theory.
- 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,256 Well, so then,
- 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,300 if the stem cells are placed next to a Shakey's Pizza,
- 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,010 they would become another Shakey's Pizza.
- 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,595 And you'd have your own Shakey's Pizza
- 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,472 where you didn't have to charge yourself to eat.
- 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,890 Well, no, to build another Shakey's,
- 00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,141 it would be better to use lumber.
- 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,267 Hmm.
- 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,727 But, unfortunately,
- 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,479 the government has banned stem cell research.
- 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,439 And so...we'll never know.
- 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,982 Looks like somebody's gonna have to try
- 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,068 and change the government's mind.
- 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,694 Where are you going?
- 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,571 There's a pretty brave kid fighting for his life
- 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:42,948 in the hospital right now, Doctor.
- 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,076 I'm gonna go get him some bigger boxing gloves.
- 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,410 Hey, kid...
- 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,872 Give 'em hell.
- 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:51,748 Give 'em hell.
- 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,002 Oh, Doctor...
- 00:13:56,127 --> 00:14:00,006 Thanks...Thanks.
- 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,551 Oh, and hey, kid...
- 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387 Good luck... Good luck.
- 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,060 Oh, and Doctor... Oh, nevermind.
- 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,608 And see? Here's one from Butters.
- 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,652 It says, "we can't wait to see you back in school, Kenny."
- 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,904 And it has a picture of him and you in a little airplane.
- 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,531 Oh, isn't that nice?
- 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:26,700 You've got lots of friends, don't you, Kenny?
- 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,243 Yes... [coughing]
- 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,369 And what about Stan?
- 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:30,871 Stan?
- 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:32,873 Oh, well, no, there's nothing here from Stan.
- 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,499 But, well, Stan's gonna come see you real soon, I bet, Kenny.
- 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,667 I hope so.
- 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,419 Hey, look who's here.
- 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,712 Stan?
- 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,005 Hello, Kenny.
- 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,631 I'm Laura Jones, and this is Bob Farren.
- 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,300 We're with the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
- 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:45,176 Oh, Kenny, isn't that nice?
- 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,553 Make-a-Wish Foundation?
- 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,430 We travel the country giving special little
- 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,265 boys and girls like you their biggest wish.
- 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,434 Neat, huh, Kenny? - Yeah.
- 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,394 So, Kenny, if you could have one wish,
- 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:55,687 what would it be?
- 00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,066 What's your wish, pal?
- 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,862 [muffled]
- 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,572 What did he say?
- 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,159 He said his wish is not to die.
- 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:21,504 Okay, and what if you could have two wishes?
- 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,466 What would the second one be?
- 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,636 I know, I bet you'd like to meet Madonna, huh?
- 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,472 [ mumbling rapidly]
- 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,768 What was that?
- 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,394 He said Madonna's an old, anorexic whore
- 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,812 who wore out her welcome years ago
- 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,272 and that now she suddenly speaks with a British accent,
- 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,482 and she thinks she can play guitar,
- 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,108 and she should go fuck herself.
- 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,445 Should I come in now?
- 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,488 Uh, not quite yet.
- 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,206 Hello, there, children. - Hey, Chef.
- 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,083 How's it going? - Bad.
- 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,044 Yeah, things have been better, huh?
- 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,630 Why would God let Kenny die, Chef, why?
- 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,757 Kenny's my f-friend.
- 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,884 Why can't God take someone else's f-f-friend?
- 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:11,805 Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us
- 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,307 because it makes him feel better about himself.
- 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,143 He's a very vengeful God, Stan.
- 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,521 He's all pissed off about something we did
- 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,064 thousands of years ago.
- 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,066 He just can't get over it.
- 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,901 So he doesn't care who he takes:
- 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,945 children, puppies-- it don't matter to him
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,406 so long as it makes us sad.
- 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:30,907 Do you understand?
- 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,909 But then why does God give us anything to start with?
- 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,285 Well, look at it this way.
- 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,037 If you want to make a baby cry,
- 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,165 first you give it a lollipop, then you take it away.
- 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,501 If you never give it a lollipop to begin with,
- 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,878 then you would have nothing to cry about.
- 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,338 That's like God,
- 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,091 who gives us life and love and health
- 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,678 just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry.
- 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,264 So he can drink the sweet milk of our tears.
- 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,683 You see, it's our tears, Stan,
- 00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:01,187 that give God his great power.
- 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,148 I think I understand.
- 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,237 My name is Eric Cartman, and I live in Colorado.
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,197 My best friend in the whole world is Kenny MCcormick,
- 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,324 and he's sick right now.
- 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,076 He's real sick.
- 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,786 He's only eight years old,
- 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,496 and the doctors don't think he has very long to live.
- 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,166 Look, I realize that using the tissue
- 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,960 from aborted fetuses for research is a touchy subject,
- 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:28,339 but all I know is that if there's a chance, a chance,
- 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,009 that stem cell research could save my best friend's life,
- 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,387 well, I guess I owe it to him to try and change your minds.
- 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,059 I love Kenny McCormick, and... [sniffling]
- 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:42,020 and I want you to love him, too.
- 00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,314 [sniffling]
- 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,942 I'm sorry. I'm not the best speaker in the world.
- 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:52,739 Maybe I could put it best in the words of a timeless song.
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,951 ♪ It was the heat of the moment ♪
- 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,288 ♪ Telling me what your heart meant ♪
- 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:06,086 ♪ The heat of the moment shone in your eyes ♪
- 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:10,381 ♪ I never meant to be so bad to you ♪
- 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,260 ♪ One thing I said that I would never do ♪
- 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:18,556 ♪ One look from you and I would fall from grace ♪
- 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,059 ♪ And that would wipe the smile ♪
- 00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:24,145 ♪ Right from my face ♪
- 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:28,650 [together] ♪ Do you remember when we used to dance ♪
- 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:33,196 ♪ And incidents arose from circumstance? ♪
- 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:36,991 ♪ One thing led to another; we were young ♪
- 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:41,913 ♪ And we would scream together songs unsung ♪
- 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:45,625 ♪ It was the heat of the moment ♪
- 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,962 ♪ Telling me what your heart meant ♪
- 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:54,551 ♪ The heat of the moment shone in your eyes ♪
- 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,474 And so you see, now that the ban
- 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,934 on stem cell research has been lifted,
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,145 we can sell your fetus to companies like Alder Labs.
- 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:06,813 Oh, I don't know.
- 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,315 Look, I can offer you $75 for that fetus right now, Jill.
- 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,276 $75? Well, alright.
- 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,444 Great, just sign right here, please.
- 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,405 Hi, having an abortion today?
- 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,907 Great, listen--if you'd like to sell your abortion for research,
- 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,534 I'm offering $75.
- 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,536 Help you out a little bit with your medical bill in there.
- 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,745 Why don't you sign right here?
- 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,247 Excuse me, ma'am,
- 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,040 Can I interest you in selling your aborted fetus?
- 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,375 We're not going to the abortion clinic.
- 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,501 I'm gonna have this baby.
- 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,295 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,
- 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,921 because there's a little boy dying in a hospital right now
- 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,715 who could sure use that baby more than you could.
- 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,800 The stem cells from your fetus could help save his life.
- 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,178 Oh, well, I guess we can always
- 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,387 just make another one.
- 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,181 Oh, Mark, I love you.
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,348 Alright.
- 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,350 Now Kenny has a fighting chance.
- 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,772 Young man, do you know where you're going?
- 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,357 Yeah, I'm gonna see my friend,
- 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,067 because he needs me right now.
- 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,402 Alright.
- 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,488 Go, kid. - Good for you.
- 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,035 Hey, Kenny.
- 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,874 Oh, no.
- 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,752 No.
- 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,172 He just-- he just stopped breathing.
- 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,632 And it was over.
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:19,260 But... I didn't get to see him.
- 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,012 Kyle, I didn't get to say good-bye.
- 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,851 Did he say anything before he went?
- 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,146 He just said... "where's Stan?"
- 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:40,114 And so we will all miss Kenny;
- 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,701 his playful laughter, his innocent smile.
- 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:47,455 But we will never forget that it was because of brave Kenny
- 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,291 that stem cell research was allowed to continue.
- 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,126 I let Kenny down.
- 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:53,586 I'm his worst f-f-friend.
- 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,171 You guys, come quick.
- 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,714 What, Cartman?
- 00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:01,052 It's--why, it's a miracle, you guys...
- 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,845 What, Cartman? What's happened?
- 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:03,638 Look.
- 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,850 I put the stem cells from all the fetuses I had
- 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,185 next to Shakey's,
- 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,104 and they <i>are</i> replicating a new Shakey's.
- 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,230 It worked.
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,023 This whole time,
- 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,608 you were just using Kenny's illness
- 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:16,943 to lift the ban on stem cell research
- 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,903 so you could sell your stupid fetuses?
- 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,364 Stupid fetuses? It's my own Shakey's.
- 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,991 I actually hugged you.
- 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,201 I held you in my arms and cried with you.
- 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,370 I figure I only need 100 or so more aborted babies,
- 00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:28,413 and I can finish up the kitchen.
- 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:29,497 Aaah!
- 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,999 Ahh, Kyle.
- 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,709 Kyle.
- 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,085 Hey, I wasn't Kenny's worst f-f-friend.
- 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,545 Cartman was.
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