У Усамы бен Ладена вонючие штаны

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♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

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♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

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Remember when life used

to be simple and cool?

00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,793

Not really.

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Uh, hey, how's it

going fellas?

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Butters, what the hell

are you doing?

00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,507

Well, I'm just standing

around being a kid, why?

00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,509

How come you're all wearing

those oogy spacemen masks?

00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,719

These are gas masks,

Butters!

00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,094

Yeah, if you don't

have a gas mask,

00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,680

you're gonna get

smallpox or anthrax.

00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,056

What?

00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:56,849

Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna

get the 'thrax, fellas.

00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,601

What do I do?

00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,019

There's nothing you can do

except stop breathing.

00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,562

Stop breathing?

00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,022

Yeah, you can't get it

if you don't breathe.

00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,690

Oh, alright then.

00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,704

Okay, next.

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Next.

00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,753

Let's see, Hotties,

Juicy, Whoppers.

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Okay, next.

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Aha!

00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,342

What the hell are you

doing with this?

00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,802

Those are my Hootie Owl

round tip scissors.

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These are a weapon!

00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,888

Oh, come on, how am I gonna

kill people with those?

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I'll think of a way.

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Now move along.

00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,391

God damn it!

00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,103

Alright, next!

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Okay, clear.

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Oh, Jesus, man!

They're gonna get me!

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Oh, Christ!

00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,579

They're gonna get me.

00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,039

Alright, class, as some

of you may have heard,

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the president has asked

that American children

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all send one dollar

to the children of Afghanistan.

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So I have a list of addresses

and we're going to all chip in.

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Ha!

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I'm not giving a dollar

to those towel-heads.

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Eric, the Afghan people

need our help.

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Oh, I'm sorry,

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but I thought we were at war

with these assholes!

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We're at war with

terrorists, fatass,

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not with Afghanistan.

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And the only reason

you care

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is 'cause you don't

wanna give up a dollar.

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That dollar buys me a

chocolate milk for lunch!

00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,857

What, you want me to just get

a regular milk for 10ȼ?

00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,775

Now look, it isn't our fault

that terrorists hate us.

00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,360

We're just kids.

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We aren't the ones

bombing them now.

00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,071

We're just kids.

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There's a lot of crazy stuff

going on in the world,

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but we're just

caught in the middle.

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It's not our fault.

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The Afghan kids are caught

in the middle too.

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Yes, but they're

sand monkeys!

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Alright, children,

we're all sending a dollar

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to the kids

in Afghanistan.

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That's it,

end of discussion!

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God damn it, I hate

regular milk!

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Aw!

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Aw!

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Aww!

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Another high alert status for

terrorist activity this weekend.

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The government said bad things

are likely to happen.

00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,384

Meanwhile, the world

continues to back down

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from their support

of the United States,

00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,012

saying that they were really

only kidding to begin with.

00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,305

Hey Mom,

doorbell's ringing.

00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,642

Hey, Sharon.

00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,727

Maybe you should stop watching

the news for a little bit.

00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:34,733

Sharon, you've been

watching CNN for about...

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eight weeks now.

00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:37,361

Don't you want to watch

something else?

00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,612

Sh-Sharon?

00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,947

Hey, look what

the postman brought me!

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It's a big, brown package

from Afghanistan.

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That's nice.

00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,576

We sent the Afghani

kids some dollars,

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They must've sent us

something cool in return.

00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,746

Do we have some scissors

to cut this open?

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Stanley, your mother's

a little freaked out right now.

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Why don't you

go play with

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your big, brown package

from Afghanistan outside.

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Alright.

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Big, brown package from

Afghanistan!?

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Dude, what's going on?

00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,306

We got a package from

the kids we sent dollars to.

00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,308

They sent us

something back.

00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,935

Prelim shows

negative, sir.

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Then we're gonna

have to blow it.

00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938

Yes, sir!

00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,651

Ah, this is it, man,

it's over!

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Tweak, calm down,

have some coffee.

00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,369

Open!

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Ah, it's just a goat.

00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,712

Precious goat.

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Hey there,

little guy.

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Stay away from it!

00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,719

Terrorists could've given that

goat anthrax or smallpox

00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,803

before sending it over!

00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,347

Johnson!

- Sir.

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Check the goat

for diseases.

00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,807

Yes, sir!

00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,898

The goat seems

to be clean, sir.

00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:56,648

I told you.

00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,692

Those Afghan kids just wanted

to give us something back

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for giving them $4.

00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,487

Four dollars for a goat,

we got ripped off.

00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,322

Alright, men,

this area is secure.

00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:04,865

Let's head out.

00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,911

What are we supposed

to do with it?

00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,704

You're gonna have to take it

home with you, Kyle.

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Dude, my mom won't even

let me have a hamster.

00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,582

Kenny?

00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,958

No freakin' way,

dude.

00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,460

My parents will never

let me keep a goat.

00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,920

Well, I guess we're gonna

have to kill it.

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No, we're not going to

kill it, Cartman.

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We'll just have to take

the return address

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and mail it back to the

kids in Afghanistan.

00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,675

Come on, goat.

00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:25,761

Uh-oh,

they're closing.

00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,721

Excuse me,

00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,390

we wanna overnight this goat

to Afghanistan, please.

00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,849

Excuse me?

00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,601

It's an Afghanistan goat so

it can't stay here,

00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,437

or else it will choke on

the sweet air of freedom.

00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,939

Afghanistan?

00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,732

I'm sorry boys, but our

planes aren't flying there.

00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,275

They're not?

00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,527

The only planes going

to Afghanistan

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529

are the military planes

over at the base.

00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,155

I'm sorry.

00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,448

Oh, yeah,

the military planes.

00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,158

Come on, goat, we'll

put you on one of them.

00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:50,994

Stan, I don't think

we're supposed to be

00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,037

in the military base.

00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,372

They might

shoot us.

00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,456

I don't care,

we're going.

00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,624

don't forget to

bring a towel.

00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,834

Ah!

00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,710

Oh no,

not Towelie.

00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,879

When going someplace new,

you should always bring a towel.

00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:01,880

Okay, thanks,

Towelie.

00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,298

You wanna get high?

00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,591

No, we don't

wanna get high!

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,552

You mean, you don't

want Towelie around?

00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,387

That's right!

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,890

So am I to understand that

there's been a "Towelie ban"?

00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,603

God damn it, get the hell

out of here, Towelie!

00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,896

Alright,

see ya.

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,900

Alright, troops,

00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,569

we'll depart for Afghanistan

in five minutes.

00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,987

Let's move out!

00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,697

Alright,

come on.

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,282

We just gotta get the goat

on one of these planes.

00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,408

Isn't this exciting, Tony?

00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,909

We're finally gonna

see some action.

00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,744

Yeah, and I hear that

as soon as we land,

00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,745

we get a U.S.O. Show.

00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,289

We do!

00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,790

Stevie Nicks is

going to perform.

00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,959

Oh, Stevie Nicks,

I-I love her!

00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,837

Okay, it's clear,

come on.

00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,590

Hey you!

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633

What the hell do you

think you're doing here?

00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,346

I'm sorry,

Miss Nicks.

00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,723

Hey, guys,

it's Stevie Nicks!

00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,933

Oh, wow!

00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,977

Can I get a picture?

00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729

Miss Nicks, over here,

Miss Nicks.

00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,274

Miss Nicks, I don't

wanna bother you,

00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,568

but could you sing a quick

Fleetwood Mac for us?

00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:05,694

Could you?

00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,695

Come on!

00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,242

Wait 'til I tell

my sister about this;

00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,452

she is gonna flip!

00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,661

Well, we've gotta

get Miss Nicks

00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:15,871

on the plane to

Afghanistan, guys.

00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,748

Oh, can we just get a--

00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,292

I'm sorry, Miss Nicks isn't

answering any more questions.

00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,544

Oh sure, we understand.

Move along.

00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,046

She looks great.

She looks great.

00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,508

Hey, let's put him

on here.

00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,385

Shh... there we go.

00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,803

You're gonna

be okay, goat.

00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,473

You'll be back in Afghanistan

in about 20 hours.

00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,933

Stan, if you're finished

00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,392

having your tearful

good-bye with the goat,

00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,519

we'd like to

go now, please.

00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,811

Alright.

00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,271

Alright, tango clear,

let's head out.

00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,648

Oh, son of

a bitch!

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,899

Hey, wait!

00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,817

There's children

in here!

00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,241

Dude, it looks like we're

going to...Afghanistan.

00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,492

Going to Afghanistan?

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,826

Trapped in a small space

for 20 hours--

00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:55,827

how could things

get any worse?

00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,997

Oh, you guys.

00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,348

hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut.

00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,433

Welcome to

Afghanistan, troops.

00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,270

Get your gear ready and report

to the barracks in 0-900.

00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,521

sir, yes, sir!

00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,273

Hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut...

00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,608

Oh, God!

It was horrible!

00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,110

20 hours!

00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,405

What the hell?

00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,614

Cartman farted

in there.

00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,366

We had to breathe

it in for 20 hours.

00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,410

It didn't smell that bad.

You guys are overreacting.

00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,079

I don't smell any--

oh, oh God!

00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,126

Oh, whatever.

00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,627

You son of a bitch,

Cartman.

00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,462

You don't fart when you're

locked in a small space

00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,463

with other people!

00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,756

Oh, I'm sorry!

00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,383

Next time I'll just

ask my fart nicely

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,302

if it wouldn't mind staying

tucked away for a while!

00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,137

Alright, let's just get

the goat back to his home.

00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,471

We have to find

this address.

00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,603

God, what a craphole,

dude!

00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,480

This is like east Denver,

Jesus Christ!

00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,649

Dude, no wonder terrorists

come from places like this.

00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,484

If I grew up here,

I'd be pissed off too.

00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,695

Hey, look,

there's a taxi.

00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,324

Hello.

00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,450

We need to go here.

00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,246

God, what is this,

the friggin' Flintstones?

00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,251

Is this the

right house?

00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,711

I think so.

00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:37,137

Uh, hi,

we're from America.

00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,139

Uh, we sent you

the dollar, the $4.

00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,182

You sent us

this goat.

00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,309

Goat?

00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,144

Here, we don't

want it.

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,145

Oh, you want

something else?

00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,355

All we had

was the goat.

00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,731

Your country bombed

everything else.

00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,191

No, dude, we're

not ungrateful.

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,109

It's just none of us

can keep the goat.

00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,028

it was choking on the sweet

air of freedom in America,

00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,364

so we brought it back

to your crappy country.

00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,366

Oh, and here.

00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,535

Take this American flag

as a gift.

00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,461

Hey, what the hell

are you doing?

00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,796

They told us in school

00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,089

Everyone but terrorists

love America.

00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,175

What did you call us?

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,343

Your country

is the evil empire.

00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,387

Your government wants

to rule the world!

00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,473

But your values and spirituality

are in the gutter.

00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,724

Then why did you

send us a goat?

00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,518

Because in Afghanistan,

we have pride.

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,727

If you send us something,

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,229

we must send something

in return.

00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,398

It doesn't mean we don't

still hate you.

00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,483

Now, get out of here!

00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,486

Hey, hey,

open the door.

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,655

I told you,

Jawas have no hearts.

00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,448

Jawas?

- You know, sand people.

00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,700

How come they hate

America so much?

00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,701

What the hell

did we do?

00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,285

Well, we tried, dude.

00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,287

If anyone else in this

craphole hates Americans,

00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,248

we better just leave the goat

and get back to the plane.

00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041

Alright.

00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,502

Oh, look,

he's following us;

00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,045

it's so sad.

00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:52,713

God, I hate you

so much, Stan.

00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,714

What?

00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,142

Howdy.

00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,770

Uh...Greetings

from Canada.

00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,313

Well, boys,

it's "aboot" time

00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:11,773

we get to our "hoose"

in Canada, isn't it?

00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,442

Hey, what the hell are

you talking about?

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,318

I'm not a God damn Canadian

and neither are you!

00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,528

Oh, Cartman,

you stupid asshole.

00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,288

...Osama bin Laden!

00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,374

Good job, fat-ass.

00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,584

Dude, don't call me

a Canadian.

00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852

You gotta listen to me,

we're not spies!

00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,897

Look, I think I can

explain everything.

00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483

See, my friend Stan here is

an oversensitive animal lover.

00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,901

He got a boner

for this goat.

00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,908

Ooh, a la

bulla bulla bulla.

00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,451

Oh crap,

it's him!

00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,788

A mulla mulla

mulla?

00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,499

Mulla hak a mulla.

00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,917

Oh, dude, it's called

deodorant, okay?

00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:12,959

It's not expensive.

00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:17,422

Hakka maha mallah!

00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,726

Ooh, a tukka tukka

mulla mulla.

00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,978

America a booga

booga booga.

00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,314

Hakka hakka

durka durka.

00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,693

Hakka hakka

durka durka!

00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,862

And...cut!

00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,868

Dude, these people

are insane.

00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,996

As more and more cases

00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,624

of terrorist-related aids

continues to grow.

00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,750

And this just in:

00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,127

the Taliban has

apparently taken

00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,587

American civilians

as hostages.

00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,798

The Taliban has just released

this videotape

00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,466

in which it is

clearly visible

00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,553

that they have indeed

captured Stevie Nicks.

00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,304

Miss Nicks appears to be

in good spirits,

00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,098

though her whereabouts

are unknown.

00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,474

Hey, Sh-Sharon,

00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,352

have you seen Stan in

the last couple days?

00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,730

Yes, I just saw him.

- Oh, okay.

00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,482

With Stevie Nicks

in captivity

00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,276

the other members of

Fleetwood Mac have been hidden

00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,486

so the Taliban can't

get to them as well.

00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,488

They...took

Stevie Nicks?

00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,573

Bastards!

00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,701

Heartless,

gutless bastards!

00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,827

Alright, men.

00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245

Grab your guns

and your bibles.

00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,706

We're going to

get Miss Nicks back.

00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,625

The Taliban's video

also shows

00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,670

what appears to be four

American children in captivity,

00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,213

though they could

just be French.

00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,339

We have to help them.

00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,757

They are not

the spies.

00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,218

They came to give us

our goat back.

00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,845

Screw them!

They're evil Americans.

00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,806

I know, but if we don't

help the innocent ones,

00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,142

then we are no better

than the Americans are.

00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,685

Help Americans?

00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,270

That doesn't

make sense.

00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,855

Dude, we are speaking

English right now.

00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,440

Does that make sense?

00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,067

Alright, let's go.

00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,496

Oh...jihad, jihad.

00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,462

Ooh, ooh!

00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,339

America,

hakka hakka!

00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,258

Dursha, durpa

durpa durpa!

00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,387

Boola boola

booga wooga hagga.

00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,476

Gurba de durka

and America!

00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,519

Hey, what are you

guys doing here?

00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,897

Shh, we've come

to save you.

00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,856

But I thought

you hate us.

00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,316

We do.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,859

Durkka durkka...

00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:45,904

Cartman, where are

you going?

00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,489

I'm gonna go take care

of this prick.

00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865

Cartman, he's crazy.

00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,200

He's not crazy,

he's an idiot.

00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,826

I know how to deal

with these people.

00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119

A flibbidy

flabbidy floo!

00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,162

Jihad, jihad!

00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,413

Hey...

00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,456

what's up,

Bin Laden?

00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,249

Aruba

duba duba!

00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,584

Durba durba hak!

00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,919

Uh-oh, 5:30,

time to pray!

00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,380

Ah la la...

00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,422

tabba hagga?

00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,967

Allah allah allah.

00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,385

Ala hagga durpa,

durpa durpa haggalah.

00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,140

Uh-oh!

00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,313

We will have to

be quick.

00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,481

The Americans

are attacking!

00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,108

Where do we go?

00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,609

Get down!

00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,372

You murdering

American!

00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,374

Hey, shut up, kid.

America didn't start this war.

00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501

America did

start this war.

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,378

They started it

years ago

00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,798

when they put military bases

on Muslim holy lands.

00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:02,564

Ramadan!

00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,523

Hey, look,

an infidel!

00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,567

Ooh, pedro kabob!

00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,080

So that's what

this is all about.

00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,125

Ishtar fatwah

open sesame!

00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,419

Ooh, tastes

like chicken.

00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,962

The ass of

a chicken!

00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,172

Toolah foo kabob!

00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,757

Woo hoo!

00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,258

We're coming, Miss Nicks,

00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384

hang on!

00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,305

Alright, I've had

just about enough of this.

00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,390

They told us in school,

and on TV,

00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,434

that most people in Afghanistan

and Pakistan like America.

00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,061

...and you believe it?

00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,854

It is not just the Taliban

that hates America.

00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,273

Over a third of the

world hates America.

00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,192

but why, why does a third

of the world hate us?

00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,943

Because you don't

realize

00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,320

that a third of

the world hates you.

00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,529

That doesn't

make sense.

00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,947

You guys are just

buttholes.

00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:53,907

You're buttholes!

00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:54,783

You're buttholes!

00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,787

Yoo hoo.

00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,625

A dukka

dukka dukka.

00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,171

Dukka dukka

dukka doo!

00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,898

Ooh, bella, bella,

falafel.

00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,901

Mi amore,

fatwah, fatwah.

00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,327

Ah, vino,

mi fatwah.

00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,870

J'ai une fatwah.

00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,878

You really think

that your civilization

00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,255

is better than ours?

00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,422

You people play games

by killing animals

00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,841

and oppress women.

00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,175

It's better than

a civilization

00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,885

that's spends its time

watching millionaires

00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512

walk down the red

carpet at the Emmys.

00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,721

He's got us there,

dude.

00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,601

I got her,

I got Stevie Nicks.

00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,064

There you are!

Where have you been?

00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,941

We have another

anti-American video to make.

00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,985

Oh, video durka?

00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,989

Hurry, get into

wardrobe!

00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,449

Oh, hurry up,

will you, hurry!

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,452

Oh, you look

marvelous, darling.

00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,871

Hakka hamma hamma.

00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,581

Come on, the cameras

are ready.

00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,915

Alright,

there we go.

00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041

Let's roll cameras.

00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,418

Oh, and here's

your microphone.

00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:33,131

Oh, America

a durka durka.

00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:36,885

Uh-oh.

00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,310

We've done it,

the Taliban is destroyed!

00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,063

Wow, I guess Cartman really

did take care of him.

00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,190

Blh-blh-blh-blh!

00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,567

Terrorists is the

craziest peoples!

00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,613

Oh!

00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239

I got him,

I got him!

00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,033

Well, looks like

the Taliban and Bin Laden

00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,117

are finally out of power.

00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,577

Yeah, you don't

need us anymore.

00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,953

Hey, wait a minute.

00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,371

Y'know, you guys

should know one thing:

00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,248

Most people in America

are good people

00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,042

who just try to live day

by day like you guys do.

00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,418

Maybe if you

took some time

00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,086

to see all the great

things about our country,

00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,088

you'd see we're not

so different after all.

00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,381

Yeah.

00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,634

That's fine,

but we still hate you.

00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,553

Oh...

00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,513

Well, I guess

maybe some day

00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,933

we can learn

to hate you, too.

00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,436

Maybe, in time.

00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,104

I'm confused.

00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,527

Great job, troops.

00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,863

Once again we have

killed our enemies!

00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,659

The world is now safe

thanks to you.

00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:43,993

And so now,

as promised,

00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,956

here is Fleetwood Mac

with Stevie Nicks!

00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,881

♪ Just like the

one-winged bird ♪

00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,675

♪ Sings the song

sounds like she's singing ♪

00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,885

♪ Baby, said ♪

00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,891

Come on, let's go

get to the plane.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,984

Dude, I almost thought

those Afghani kids

00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,902

talked you into not

liking America.

00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,070

No, dude.

00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,571

America may have

some problems,

00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,115

but it's our home,

our team.

00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,908

And if you don't wanna

root for your team,

00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,827

then you should get the hell

out of the stadium.

00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,954

Yeah.

00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,290

Go America.

Go America.

00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,125

Go Broncos.

00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,126

Yeah, go Broncos.

00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,502

Yeah.

00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,471

♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,306

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:15,725

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:16,976

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,978

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,730

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,398

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,691

♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,067

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,904

♪ [muffled] ♪

00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,489

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,324

♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,791

Remember when life used

to be simple and cool?

00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,793

Not really.

00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,670

Uh, hey, how's it

going fellas?

00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,547

Butters, what the hell

are you doing?

00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,507

Well, I'm just standing

around being a kid, why?

00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,509

How come you're all wearing

those oogy spacemen masks?

00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,719

These are gas masks,

Butters!

00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,094

Yeah, if you don't

have a gas mask,

00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,680

you're gonna get

smallpox or anthrax.

00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,056

What?

00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:56,849

Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna

get the 'thrax, fellas.

00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,601

What do I do?

00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,019

There's nothing you can do

except stop breathing.

00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,562

Stop breathing?

00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,022

Yeah, you can't get it

if you don't breathe.

00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,690

Oh, alright then.

00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,484

[inhales]

00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,704

Okay, next.

00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,375

Next.

00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,753

Let's see, Hotties,

Juicy, Whoppers.

00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:28,547

Okay, next.

00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,799

Aha!

00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,342

What the hell are you

doing with this?

00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,802

Those are my Hootie Owl

round tip scissors.

00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,595

These are a weapon!

00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,888

Oh, come on, how am I gonna

kill people with those?

00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,056

I'll think of a way.

00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,057

Now move along.

00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,391

God damn it!

00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,103

Alright, next!

00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,731

Okay, clear.

00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,444

[school bell rings]

00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,535

Oh, Jesus, man!

They're gonna get me!

00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,911

Oh, Christ!

00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,579

They're gonna get me.

00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,039

Alright, class, as some

of you may have heard,

00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,999

the president has asked

that American children

00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,711

all send one dollar

to the children of Afghanistan.

00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,422

So I have a list of addresses

and we're going to all chip in.

00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,924

Ha!

00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,467

I'm not giving a dollar

to those towel-heads.

00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:14,844

Eric, the Afghan people

need our help.

00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,595

Oh, I'm sorry,

00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,430

but I thought we were at war

with these assholes!

00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:19,807

We're at war with

terrorists, fatass,

00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:20,891

not with Afghanistan.

00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,434

And the only reason

you care

00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,769

is 'cause you don't

wanna give up a dollar.

00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,855

That dollar buys me a

chocolate milk for lunch!

00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,857

What, you want me to just get

a regular milk for 10ȼ?

00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,775

Now look, it isn't our fault

that terrorists hate us.

00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,360

We're just kids.

00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,528

We aren't the ones

bombing them now.

00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,071

We're just kids.

00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,823

There's a lot of crazy stuff

going on in the world,

00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,074

but we're just

caught in the middle.

00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,742

It's not our fault.

00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,286

The Afghan kids are caught

in the middle too.

00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,787

Yes, but they're

sand monkeys!

00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,747

Alright, children,

we're all sending a dollar

00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332

to the kids

in Afghanistan.

00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917

That's it,

end of discussion!

00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,378

God damn it, I hate

regular milk!

00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,722

[both speaking native language]

00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,560

[speaking native language]

00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,979

[muffled]

00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,570

All: Aw!

00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,405

[speaking native language]

00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,664

All: Aw!

00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,500

[all speaking native language]

00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,342

All: Aww!

00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,261

[all speaking native language]

00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,379

Another high alert status for

terrorist activity this weekend.

00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,297

The government said bad things

are likely to happen.

00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,715

[doorbell rings]

00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,384

Meanwhile, the world

continues to back down

00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,843

from their support

of the United States,

00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,012

saying that they were really

only kidding to begin with.

00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,305

Hey Mom,

doorbell's ringing.

00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,765

[mumbles]

00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,642

Hey, Sharon.

00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,727

Maybe you should stop watching

the news for a little bit.

00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,021

[mumbles]

00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:34,733

Sharon, you've been

watching CNN for about...

00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,277

eight weeks now.

00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:37,361

Don't you want to watch

something else?

00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,612

Sh-Sharon?

00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,947

Hey, look what

the postman brought me!

00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,657

It's a big, brown package

from Afghanistan.

00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,992

That's nice.

00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,576

We sent the Afghani

kids some dollars,

00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,370

They must've sent us

something cool in return.

00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,746

Do we have some scissors

to cut this open?

00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,957

Stanley, your mother's

a little freaked out right now.

00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,583

Why don't you

go play with

00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,085

your big, brown package

from Afghanistan outside.

00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,963

Alright.

00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:59,008

Both: Big, brown package from

Afghanistan!?

00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,721

Dude, what's going on?

00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,306

We got a package from

the kids we sent dollars to.

00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,308

They sent us

something back.

00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,935

Prelim shows

negative, sir.

00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,645

Then we're gonna

have to blow it.

00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938

All: Yes, sir!

00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,651

Ah, this is it, man,

it's over!

00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,404

Tweak, calm down,

have some coffee.

00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,369

Open!

00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,415

[goat bleats]

00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:33,625

Ah, it's just a goat.

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,419

[all sigh]

00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,712

Precious goat.

00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,505

[goat bleats]

00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,840

Hey there,

little guy.

00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,800

Stay away from it!

00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,719

Terrorists could've given that

goat anthrax or smallpox

00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,803

before sending it over!

00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,347

Johnson!

- Sir.

00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,639

Check the goat

for diseases.

00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,807

Yes, sir!

00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,898

The goat seems

to be clean, sir.

00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:56,648

I told you.

00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,692

Those Afghan kids just wanted

to give us something back

00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,277

for giving them $4.

00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,487

Four dollars for a goat,

we got ripped off.

00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,322

Alright, men,

this area is secure.

00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:04,865

Let's head out.

00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,911

What are we supposed

to do with it?

00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,704

You're gonna have to take it

home with you, Kyle.

00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,498

Dude, my mom won't even

let me have a hamster.

00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,582

Kenny?

00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,958

No freakin' way,

dude.

00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,460

My parents will never

let me keep a goat.

00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,920

Well, I guess we're gonna

have to kill it.

00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,546

No, we're not going to

kill it, Cartman.

00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,382

We'll just have to take

the return address

00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,674

and mail it back to the

kids in Afghanistan.

00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,675

Come on, goat.

00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:24,885

[goat bleats]

00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:25,761

Uh-oh,

they're closing.

00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,721

Excuse me,

00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,390

we wanna overnight this goat

to Afghanistan, please.

00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,849

Excuse me?

00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,601

It's an Afghanistan goat so

it can't stay here,

00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,437

or else it will choke on

the sweet air of freedom.

00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,939

Afghanistan?

00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,732

I'm sorry boys, but our

planes aren't flying there.

00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,275

They're not?

00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,527

The only planes going

to Afghanistan

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529

are the military planes

over at the base.

00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,155

I'm sorry.

00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,448

Oh, yeah,

the military planes.

00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,158

Come on, goat, we'll

put you on one of them.

00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:50,994

Stan, I don't think

we're supposed to be

00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,037

in the military base.

00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,372

They might

shoot us.

00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,456

I don't care,

we're going.

00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,624

don't forget to

bring a towel.

00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,834

All: Ah!

00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,710

Oh no,

not Towelie.

00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,879

When going someplace new,

you should always bring a towel.

00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:01,880

Okay, thanks,

Towelie.

00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,298

You wanna get high?

00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,591

No, we don't

wanna get high!

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,552

You mean, you don't

want Towelie around?

00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,387

That's right!

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,890

So am I to understand that

there's been a "Towelie ban"?

00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,434

[snickering]

00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,977

[all moaning]

00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,603

God damn it, get the hell

out of here, Towelie!

00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,896

Alright,

see ya.

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,900

Alright, troops,

00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,569

we'll depart for Afghanistan

in five minutes.

00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,987

Let's move out!

00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,697

Alright,

come on.

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,282

We just gotta get the goat

on one of these planes.

00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,408

Isn't this exciting, Tony?

00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,909

We're finally gonna

see some action.

00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,744

Yeah, and I hear that

as soon as we land,

00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,745

we get a U.S.O. Show.

00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,289

We do!

00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,790

Stevie Nicks is

going to perform.

00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,959

Oh, Stevie Nicks,

I-I love her!

00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,837

Okay, it's clear,

come on.

00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,590

Hey you!

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633

What the hell do you

think you're doing here?

00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,802

[goat bleats]

00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,346

I'm sorry,

Miss Nicks.

00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,723

Hey, guys,

it's Stevie Nicks!

00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,933

Oh, wow!

00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,977

Can I get a picture?

00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729

Miss Nicks, over here,

Miss Nicks.

00:07:58,854 --> 00:07:59,938

[goat bleats]

00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,274

Miss Nicks, I don't

wanna bother you,

00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,568

but could you sing a quick

Fleetwood Mac for us?

00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:05,694

Could you?

00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,695

Come on!

00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,490

[goat bleating]

00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,824

[all cheering]

00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,242

Wait 'til I tell

my sister about this;

00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,452

she is gonna flip!

00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,661

Well, we've gotta

get Miss Nicks

00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:15,871

on the plane to

Afghanistan, guys.

00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,748

Oh, can we just get a--

00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,292

I'm sorry, Miss Nicks isn't

answering any more questions.

00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,544

Oh sure, we understand.

Move along.

00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,046

She looks great.

She looks great.

00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,508

Hey, let's put him

on here.

00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,259

[goat bleats]

00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,385

Shh... there we go.

00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,803

You're gonna

be okay, goat.

00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,473

You'll be back in Afghanistan

in about 20 hours.

00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,933

Stan, if you're finished

00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,392

having your tearful

good-bye with the goat,

00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,519

we'd like to

go now, please.

00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,811

Alright.

00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,271

Alright, tango clear,

let's head out.

00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,648

Oh, son of

a bitch!

00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,899

Hey, wait!

00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,817

There's children

in here!

00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:49,571

[muffled speech]

00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,241

Dude, it looks like we're

going to...Afghanistan.

00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,492

Going to Afghanistan?

00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,826

Trapped in a small space

for 20 hours--

00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:55,827

how could things

get any worse?

00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,162

[fart]

00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,997

[all moan]

Oh, you guys.

00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,348

All: hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut.

00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,433

Welcome to

Afghanistan, troops.

00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,270

Get your gear ready and report

to the barracks in 0-900.

00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,521

All: sir, yes, sir!

00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,273

Hut hut hut hut

hut hut hut hut...

00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,608

Oh, God!

It was horrible!

00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,110

20 hours!

00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,987

[mumbling]

00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,405

What the hell?

00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,614

Cartman farted

in there.

00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,366

We had to breathe

it in for 20 hours.

00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,410

It didn't smell that bad.

You guys are overreacting.

00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,079

I don't smell any--

oh, oh God!

00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,126

Oh, whatever.

00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,627

You son of a bitch,

Cartman.

00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,462

You don't fart when you're

locked in a small space

00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,463

with other people!

00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,756

Oh, I'm sorry!

00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,383

Next time I'll just

ask my fart nicely

00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,302

if it wouldn't mind staying

tucked away for a while!

00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,137

Alright, let's just get

the goat back to his home.

00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,471

We have to find

this address.

00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,556

[goat bleats]

00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,603

God, what a craphole,

dude!

00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,480

This is like east Denver,

Jesus Christ!

00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,649

Dude, no wonder terrorists

come from places like this.

00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,484

If I grew up here,

I'd be pissed off too.

00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,695

Hey, look,

there's a taxi.

00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,324

Hello.

00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,450

We need to go here.

00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,826

[speaking native language]

00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,453

[whip cracks]

00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,246

God, what is this,

the friggin' Flintstones?

00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,251

Is this the

right house?

00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,711

I think so.

00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,422

[knocking]

00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,467

[speaking native language]

00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:37,137

Uh, hi,

we're from America.

00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,139

Uh, we sent you

the dollar, the $4.

00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,182

You sent us

this goat.

00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,309

Goat?

00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,144

Here, we don't

want it.

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,145

Oh, you want

something else?

00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,355

All we had

was the goat.

00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,731

Your country bombed

everything else.

00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,191

No, dude, we're

not ungrateful.

00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,109

It's just none of us

can keep the goat.

00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,028

it was choking on the sweet

air of freedom in America,

00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,364

so we brought it back

to your crappy country.

00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,366

Oh, and here.

00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,535

Take this American flag

as a gift.

00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,751

[all cheering]

00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,461

Hey, what the hell

are you doing?

00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,796

They told us in school

00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,089

Everyone but terrorists

love America.

00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,715

[speaking native language]

00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,175

What did you call us?

00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,343

Your country

is the evil empire.

00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,387

Your government wants

to rule the world!

00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,473

But your values and spirituality

are in the gutter.

00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,724

Then why did you

send us a goat?

00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,518

Because in Afghanistan,

we have pride.

00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,727

If you send us something,

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,229

we must send something

in return.

00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,398

It doesn't mean we don't

still hate you.

00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,483

Now, get out of here!

00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,486

Hey, hey,

open the door.

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,655

I told you,

Jawas have no hearts.

00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,448

Jawas?

- You know, sand people.

00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,700

How come they hate

America so much?

00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,701

What the hell

did we do?

00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,285

Well, we tried, dude.

00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,287

If anyone else in this

craphole hates Americans,

00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,248

we better just leave the goat

and get back to the plane.

00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041

Alright.

00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,502

Oh, look,

he's following us;

00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,045

it's so sad.

00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:52,713

God, I hate you

so much, Stan.

00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,714

What?

00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,341

[angry chanting]

00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,142

Howdy.

00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,770

Uh...Greetings

from Canada.

00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,313

Well, boys,

it's "aboot" time

00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:11,773

we get to our "hoose"

in Canada, isn't it?

00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,442

Hey, what the hell are

you talking about?

00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,318

I'm not a God damn Canadian

and neither are you!

00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,528

Oh, Cartman,

you stupid asshole.

00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,781

[all shouting]

00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,784

[all speaking native language]

00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,288

...Osama bin Laden!

00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,123

[laughter]

00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,374

Good job, fat-ass.

00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,584

Dude, don't call me

a Canadian.

00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:34,880

[chanting echoing]

00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,721

[gunshot, chanting stops]

00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852

You gotta listen to me,

we're not spies!

00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,437

[speaking native language]

00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,897

Look, I think I can

explain everything.

00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483

See, my friend Stan here is

an oversensitive animal lover.

00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,901

He got a boner

for this goat.

00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653

[shouting]

00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,908

Ooh, a la

bulla bulla bulla.

00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,451

Oh crap,

it's him!

00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,619

[goat bleats]

00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,788

A mulla mulla

mulla?

00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,499

Mulla hak a mulla.

00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,917

Oh, dude, it's called

deodorant, okay?

00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:12,959

It's not expensive.

00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:17,422

Hakka maha mallah!

00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:18,465

[speaking native language]

00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,726

Ooh, a tukka tukka

mulla mulla.

00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,978

America a booga

booga booga.

00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,314

Hakka hakka

durka durka.

00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,607

[laughs]

00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,693

Hakka hakka

durka durka!

00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,862

And...cut!

00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,868

Dude, these people

are insane.

00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,996

As more and more cases

00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,624

of terrorist-related aids

continues to grow.

00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,750

And this just in:

00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,127

the Taliban has

apparently taken

00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,587

American civilians

as hostages.

00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,798

The Taliban has just released

this videotape

00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,466

in which it is

clearly visible

00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,553

that they have indeed

captured Stevie Nicks.

00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,304

Miss Nicks appears to be

in good spirits,

00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,098

though her whereabouts

are unknown.

00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,474

Hey, Sh-Sharon,

00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,352

have you seen Stan in

the last couple days?

00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,730

Yes, I just saw him.

- Oh, okay.

00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,482

With Stevie Nicks

in captivity

00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,276

the other members of

Fleetwood Mac have been hidden

00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,486

so the Taliban can't

get to them as well.

00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,488

They...took

Stevie Nicks?

00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,573

Bastards!

00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,701

Heartless,

gutless bastards!

00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,827

Alright, men.

00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245

Grab your guns

and your bibles.

00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,706

We're going to

get Miss Nicks back.

00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,165

[all cheering]

00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,625

The Taliban's video

also shows

00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,670

what appears to be four

American children in captivity,

00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,213

though they could

just be French.

00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,339

We have to help them.

- [mutters]

00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,757

They are not

the spies.

00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,218

They came to give us

our goat back.

00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,845

Screw them!

They're evil Americans.

00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,806

I know, but if we don't

help the innocent ones,

00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,142

then we are no better

than the Americans are.

00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,685

Help Americans?

00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,270

That doesn't

make sense.

00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,855

Dude, we are speaking

English right now.

00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,440

Does that make sense?

00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,067

Alright, let's go.

00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:01,985

[frustrated shout]

00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,450

[all singing in native language]

00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,496

Oh...jihad, jihad.

00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,041

[alarm ringing]

00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,462

Ooh, ooh!

00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,339

America,

hakka hakka!

00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,258

Dursha, durpa

durpa durpa!

00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,387

Boola boola

booga wooga hagga.

00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,476

Gurba de durka

and America!

00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,519

Hey, what are you

guys doing here?

00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,897

Shh, we've come

to save you.

00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,856

But I thought

you hate us.

00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,316

We do.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,859

Durkka durkka...

00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:45,904

Cartman, where are

you going?

00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,489

I'm gonna go take care

of this prick.

00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865

Cartman, he's crazy.

00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,200

He's not crazy,

he's an idiot.

00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,826

I know how to deal

with these people.

00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119

A flibbidy

flabbidy floo!

00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,162

Jihad, jihad!

00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,413

Hey...

[Bugs Bunny chewing]

00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,456

what's up,

Bin Laden?

00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,249

Aruba

duba duba!

00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,584

Durba durba hak!

00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,919

Uh-oh, 5:30,

time to pray!

00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,380

Ah la la...

00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,422

tabba hagga?

00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,967

Allah allah allah.

00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,385

Ala hagga durpa,

durpa durpa haggalah.

00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:11,096

[ding]

00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,140

Uh-oh!

00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,183

[smoooch]

00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,313

We will have to

be quick.

00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,481

The Americans

are attacking!

00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,108

Where do we go?

00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,609

Get down!

00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:33,535

[speaking native language]

[speaking native language]

00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,372

You murdering

American!

00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,374

Hey, shut up, kid.

America didn't start this war.

00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501

America did

start this war.

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,378

They started it

years ago

00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,798

when they put military bases

on Muslim holy lands.

00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:02,564

Ramadan!

00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,523

Hey, look,

an infidel!

00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,567

Ooh, pedro kabob!

00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,080

So that's what

this is all about.

00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,125

Ishtar fatwah

open sesame!

00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,209

[smmoooch]

00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,419

Ooh, tastes

like chicken.

00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,962

The ass of

a chicken!

00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,172

Toolah foo kabob!

00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,757

Woo hoo!

00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,258

We're coming, Miss Nicks,

00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384

hang on!

00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,470

[goat bleating]

00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,305

Alright, I've had

just about enough of this.

00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,390

They told us in school,

and on TV,

00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,434

that most people in Afghanistan

and Pakistan like America.

00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,061

...and you believe it?

00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,854

It is not just the Taliban

that hates America.

00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,273

Over a third of the

world hates America.

00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,192

but why, why does a third

of the world hate us?

00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,943

Because you don't

realize

00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,320

that a third of

the world hates you.

00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,529

That doesn't

make sense.

00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,947

You guys are just

buttholes.

00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:53,907

You're buttholes!

00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:54,783

Both: You're buttholes!

00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,787

Yoo hoo.

00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,625

A dukka

dukka dukka.

00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,171

Dukka dukka

dukka doo!

00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,297

[whistles]

00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,007

[howls]

00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,898

Ooh, bella, bella,

falafel.

00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,901

Mi amore,

fatwah, fatwah.

00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,327

Ah, vino,

mi fatwah.

00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,870

J'ai une fatwah.

00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,878

You really think

that your civilization

00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,255

is better than ours?

00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,422

You people play games

by killing animals

00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,841

and oppress women.

00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,175

It's better than

a civilization

00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,885

that's spends its time

watching millionaires

00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512

walk down the red

carpet at the Emmys.

00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,721

He's got us there,

dude.

00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,601

I got her,

I got Stevie Nicks.

00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,064

There you are!

Where have you been?

00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,941

We have another

anti-American video to make.

00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,985

Oh, video durka?

00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,989

Hurry, get into

wardrobe!

00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,449

Oh, hurry up,

will you, hurry!

00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,452

Oh, you look

marvelous, darling.

00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,871

Hakka hamma hamma.

00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,581

Come on, the cameras

are ready.

00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,915

Alright,

there we go.

00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041

Let's roll cameras.

00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,418

Oh, and here's

your microphone.

00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:33,131

Oh, America

a durka durka.

00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:36,885

Uh-oh.

00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,678

[all scream]

00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,308

["America the Beautiful" on piano]

00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,310

We've done it,

the Taliban is destroyed!

00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,312

[all cheering]

00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,063

Wow, I guess Cartman really

did take care of him.

00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,190

Blh-blh-blh-blh!

00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,567

Terrorists is the

craziest peoples!

00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,235

[braying]

00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,613

Oh!

00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239

I got him,

I got him!

00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,033

Well, looks like

the Taliban and Bin Laden

00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,117

are finally out of power.

00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,577

Yeah, you don't

need us anymore.

00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,953

Hey, wait a minute.

00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,371

Y'know, you guys

should know one thing:

00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,248

Most people in America

are good people

00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,042

who just try to live day

by day like you guys do.

00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,418

Maybe if you

took some time

00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,086

to see all the great

things about our country,

00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,088

you'd see we're not

so different after all.

00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,381

Yeah.

00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,634

That's fine,

but we still hate you.

00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,553

Oh...

00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,513

Well, I guess

maybe some day

00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,933

we can learn

to hate you, too.

00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,436

Maybe, in time.

00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,104

I'm confused.

00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,527

Great job, troops.

00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,863

Once again we have

killed our enemies!

00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,865

[all cheering]

00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,659

The world is now safe

thanks to you.

00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:43,993

And so now,

as promised,

00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,956

here is Fleetwood Mac

with Stevie Nicks!

00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,881

All: ♪ Just like the

one-winged bird ♪

00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,675

♪ Sings the song

sounds like she's singing ♪

00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,676

[goat bleating]

00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,885

♪ Baby, said ♪

00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,891

Come on, let's go

get to the plane.

00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,984

Dude, I almost thought

those Afghani kids

00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,902

talked you into not

liking America.

00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,070

No, dude.

00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,571

America may have

some problems,

00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,115

but it's our home,

our team.

00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,908

And if you don't wanna

root for your team,

00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,827

then you should get the hell

out of the stadium.

00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,954

Yeah.

00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,290

Go America.

Go America.

00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,125

Go Broncos.

00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,126

Yeah, go Broncos.

00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,502

Yeah.

00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:43,743

Не очень.

00:00:43,906 --> 00:00:45,282

Привет, как дела, пацаны?

00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:46,784

Баттерс! Какого чёрта ты делаешь?

00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:48,077

Я стою здесь, как обычный ребёнок.

А что?

00:00:48,118 --> 00:00:51,622

Почему вы надели на себя

уродливые маски космонавтов?

00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:52,706

Это противогазы, Баттерс!

00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:53,978

Да, если у тебя нету противогаза,

00:00:53,979 --> 00:00:55,209

то ты можешь заразиться

сибирской язвой или оспой.

00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:58,128

Что? Господи Иисусе,

я не хочу заразиться язвой.

00:00:58,170 --> 00:00:58,879

Что мне делать?

00:00:58,921 --> 00:01:00,839

У тебя нет выбора,

кроме как перестать дышать!

00:01:00,881 --> 00:01:01,799

Перестать дышать?

00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,550

Да, ты не заразишься,

если не будешь дышать.

00:01:03,592 --> 00:01:04,551

Ну, хорошо.

00:01:17,356 --> 00:01:18,315

Хорошо, следующий.

00:01:21,944 --> 00:01:23,153

Следующий.

00:01:23,445 --> 00:01:25,672

Так, посмотрим - "Горяченькие",

"Сочные", "Титькастые".

00:01:25,673 --> 00:01:27,157

Всё в порядке. Следующий.

00:01:29,952 --> 00:01:31,954

Ага.

Какого черта ты ЭТО носишь?

00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:33,455

Это мои ножницы.

00:01:33,497 --> 00:01:34,456

Это оружие.

00:01:35,249 --> 00:01:37,126

Да ладно.

Как я такими буду убивать людей?

00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:38,836

Я придумаю способ.

А теперь - шевелись.

00:01:38,877 --> 00:01:39,837

Чёрт побери.

00:01:40,254 --> 00:01:41,221

Хорошо, следующий.

00:01:44,842 --> 00:01:45,843

Всё чисто.

00:01:56,228 --> 00:02:00,607

Они меня найдут,

господи, поймают, господи.

00:02:00,649 --> 00:02:02,609

Итак, класс. Как некоторые из

вас, наверное, уже слышали...

00:02:02,651 --> 00:02:05,654

Президент попросил всех

американских детей...

00:02:05,655 --> 00:02:08,657

послать 1 доллар бедным

детям из Афганистана...

00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:12,119

У меня есть список адресов,

и мы все скинемся...

00:02:12,161 --> 00:02:14,747

Ха, я не буду давать доллар

этим головам из полотенец.

00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:16,915

Эрик, афганским

людям нужна наша помощь.

00:02:16,957 --> 00:02:19,501

Ну, извините, но я думал,

мы воюем с этими засранцами.

00:02:19,543 --> 00:02:21,920

Мы воюем против террористов,

толстожопый, а не с Афганистаном.

00:02:21,921 --> 00:02:24,298

И тебя волнует только то, что

ты не хочешь отдавать свой доллар?

00:02:24,339 --> 00:02:26,675

За этот доллар я могу купить себе

шоколадное молоко на обед.

00:02:26,717 --> 00:02:28,635

Ты чё, хочешь, чтоб я пил

обычное молоко за 10 центов?

00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:31,263

Послушайте, это не наша вина,

что террористы нас ненавидят.

00:02:31,305 --> 00:02:32,222

Мы всего лишь дети.

00:02:32,264 --> 00:02:34,558

Не мы бомбим их. Мы всего лишь дети.

00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,393

В мире происходит много странных вещей.

00:02:36,435 --> 00:02:38,187

Мы просто попали

под перекрёстный огонь.

00:02:38,228 --> 00:02:39,146

Это не наша вина.

00:02:39,188 --> 00:02:40,689

Афганские дети тоже попали

под перекрёстный огонь.

00:02:40,731 --> 00:02:42,441

Да, но они - песчаные обезьянки.

00:02:42,483 --> 00:02:47,279

Так, дети, мы все посылаем по 1 доллару

детям в Афганистан. Конец дискуссии.

00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:49,865

Чёрт побери.

Я ненавижу простое молоко.

00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,491

На этой неделе у нас высшая

тревога из-за активности террористов.

00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,618

Правительство говорит, что

плохие вещи будут случаться.

00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,413

В это время мир перестаёт

поддерживать США,

00:04:19,414 --> 00:04:22,166

говоря то, что они только пошутили.

00:04:22,374 --> 00:04:24,626

Эй, мам, кто-то звонит в дверь!

00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:30,090

Эй, Шерон, может, тебе стоит

перестать смотреть новости?

00:04:32,092 --> 00:04:34,386

Шерон, ты смотришь CNN уже...

00:04:34,762 --> 00:04:36,472

8 недель.

00:04:36,597 --> 00:04:39,183

Ты не хочешь посмотреть

что-нибудь другое?

00:04:39,224 --> 00:04:39,891

Шерон?

00:04:39,892 --> 00:04:41,143

Смотрите, что мне принёс почтальон.

00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,895

Это большая коричневая

посылка из Афганистана.

00:04:42,936 --> 00:04:43,854

Это хорошо.

00:04:43,896 --> 00:04:44,855

Мы послали афганским

детям по доллару.

00:04:44,897 --> 00:04:46,398

Они, наверное, прислали

нам в ответ что-то клёвое.

00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,108

У нас есть ножницы,

чтобы открыть посылку?

00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:49,735

Стэнли, твоя мама сейчас

чуть-чуть не в себе.

00:04:49,777 --> 00:04:51,528

Почему бы тебе не пойти

поиграть со своей большой...

00:04:51,529 --> 00:04:53,280

коричневой посылкой

из Афганистана на улице?

00:04:53,322 --> 00:04:54,281

Ну, хорошо.

00:04:56,909 --> 00:04:58,494

Большая коричневая

посылка из Афганистана?!!!

00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:04,374

Чувак, что происходит?

00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:06,293

Мы получили посылку от детей,

которым мы слали доллар.

00:05:06,794 --> 00:05:08,504

Они нам прислали что-то назад.

00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,881

Показ первых проверок

отрицателен, сэр.

00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:11,882

Тогда нам придётся взрывать.

00:05:12,299 --> 00:05:13,121

Да, сэр.

00:05:16,386 --> 00:05:18,097

Всё - это конец. Всему конец.

00:05:18,514 --> 00:05:20,682

Твик, успокойся, попей кофе.

00:05:26,814 --> 00:05:28,398

Открывайте.

00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:34,822

Ооо. Это всего лишь коза.

00:05:35,906 --> 00:05:36,990

Маленькая симпатичная козочка.

00:05:40,202 --> 00:05:41,078

Привет, малыш.

00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:41,954

Не подходи к нему!

00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:45,499

Террористы могли заразить её язвой или

оспой, перед тем как её сюда отправить.

00:05:45,541 --> 00:05:46,333

Джонсон.

00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:47,084

Сэр?

00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:48,293

Проверьте козу на наличие болезней.

00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:49,420

Да, сэр.

00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,260

Коза не заражена, сэр.

00:05:56,301 --> 00:05:58,157

Я же сказал, что афганские дети

просто хотели нам дать что-то...

00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,013

взамен за деньги,

которые мы им послали.

00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,516

Хех, 4 бакса за козу - нас надули!

00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:05,018

Эта территория чиста.

Двигаемся дальше.

00:06:08,522 --> 00:06:09,982

И что мы с ней должны делать?

00:06:10,023 --> 00:06:11,984

Тебе придётся взять её домой, Кайл.

00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:13,652

Чувак, мне мама даже хомячка

не разрешает дома держать.

00:06:13,694 --> 00:06:14,653

Кенни?

00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:16,822

Мои родители точно

не разрешат мне держать козу дома.

00:06:16,864 --> 00:06:18,282

Ну, значит, нам придётся её убить.

00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:19,700

Картмэн, убивать мы её не будем.

00:06:19,742 --> 00:06:22,161

Нам просто нужно отослать

её назад по обратному адресу

детям в Афганистан.

00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:23,662

Пошли, коза.

00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:27,082

Блин, они закрываются.

00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:29,752

Извините, мы хотим отослать

эту козу в Афганистан.

00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:30,919

Не понял?

00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:32,859

Это афганская коза,

ей здесь нельзя находиться,

00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,757

так как она задохнётся

приятным воздухом свободы.

00:06:34,798 --> 00:06:35,716

Афганистан?

00:06:35,758 --> 00:06:39,261

Мне очень жаль,

но наши самолёты туда не летают.

00:06:39,344 --> 00:06:40,220

Не летают?

00:06:40,262 --> 00:06:41,318

Единственные самолёты,

00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:43,432

которые летают в Афганистан,

находятся на военной базе.

00:06:43,441 --> 00:06:44,131

Извините.

00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,788

Ну, да. Военные самолёты.

Пошли, коза,

00:06:45,789 --> 00:06:47,436

мы посадим тебя на один из них.

00:06:50,439 --> 00:06:53,734

Стэн, мне кажется, что мы не должны

там быть. Нас могут застрелить.

00:06:53,776 --> 00:06:54,693

Мне плевать, мы едём.

00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:56,570

Не забудьте прихватить полотенце.

00:06:57,362 --> 00:06:58,822

О боже, только не Таули.

00:06:58,864 --> 00:07:01,742

Идя в незнакомое место, нужно

всегда брать с собой полотенце.

00:07:01,784 --> 00:07:02,743

Да, хорошо, спасибо, Таули.

00:07:02,785 --> 00:07:03,744

Хотите пойти накуриться?

00:07:03,745 --> 00:07:04,703

Нет, мы не хотим накуриться.

00:07:04,745 --> 00:07:07,456

Вы имеете в виду, что не хотите

быть в компании с Таули?

00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:08,415

Именно так.

00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:12,169

Насколько я понял -

у вас здесь Таулибан?

00:07:16,048 --> 00:07:17,966

Черт бы тебя побрал,

вали отсюда, Таули!

00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:18,967

Ну хорошо, ещё свидимся.

00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:24,765

Солдаты, мы отправляемся в

Афганистан через 5 минут, выдвигайтесь.

00:07:24,807 --> 00:07:28,185

Пошли, мы должны посадить

козу на один из этих самолётов.

00:07:28,227 --> 00:07:29,978

Разве это не захватывающе, Тони?

00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:31,730

Наконец-то какое-то действие.

00:07:31,772 --> 00:07:34,483

Я слышал, что сразу после

посадки там будет USO шоу.

00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:37,069

Да, будет.

Выступать будет Стиви Никс.

00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:39,571

Ооо. Стиви Никс. Я её обожаю.

00:07:40,989 --> 00:07:41,990

Всё чисто, пошли.

00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:46,954

Эй, вы!

Какого чёрта вы здесь делаете?

00:07:50,374 --> 00:07:52,042

Извините, мисс Никс.

00:07:52,084 --> 00:07:53,877

Эй, чуваки, это Стиви Никс.

00:07:53,919 --> 00:07:54,878

Ух ты!

00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,089

Можно с вами сфотографироваться?

00:07:57,131 --> 00:07:58,090

Мисс Никс, посмотрите сюда.

00:07:59,591 --> 00:08:01,815

Мисс Никс, не хочу вас беспокоить,

00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:06,265

но не могли бы вы быстро спеть

песню "Fleetwood Mac" для нас?

00:08:10,394 --> 00:08:12,938

Это было отлично. Великолепно!

00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:14,440

Когда я об этом расскажу сестре,

она офигеет.

00:08:14,481 --> 00:08:16,900

Ну, всё, мы должны отвести мисс

Никс на самолёт в Афганистан.

00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,026

А можно нам...

00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:19,987

Извините, мисс Никс больше

не отвечает на вопросы.

00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:21,905

Конечно, мы понимаем. Проходите.

00:08:21,947 --> 00:08:24,491

Она отлично выглядит.

00:08:27,077 --> 00:08:28,078

Оставим её тут.

00:08:31,874 --> 00:08:33,354

С тобой всё будет в порядке.

00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:34,835

Ты прибудешь в

Афганистан часов через 20.

00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:36,524

Стэн, ты там скоро закончишь

свои слезливые прощания с козой?

00:08:36,525 --> 00:08:38,172

Мы хотели бы уйти отсюда,

пожалуйста?

00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,081

Хорошо.

00:08:39,381 --> 00:08:42,176

Хорошо, "Танго" - всё чисто.

Пора выдвигаться.

00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,135

Сукин сын.

00:08:43,177 --> 00:08:44,678

Подождите, здесь дети.

00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:51,393

Чувак, похоже что мы едем в...

Афганистан.

00:08:52,895 --> 00:08:55,397

В Афганистан? Закрытые в

маленьком пространстве на 20 часов.

00:08:55,439 --> 00:08:56,982

Что может быть хуже?

00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,100

АФГАНИСТАН

00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,869

Добро пожаловать

в Афганистан, пехотинцы.

00:09:19,911 --> 00:09:22,580

Подготовьте своё снаряжение и

придите в казармы в 09:00 часов.

00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:23,790

Сэр, так точно, сэр.

00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:28,294

Господи, это было ужасно.

00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:29,295

20 часов.

00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,290

Какого чёрта?

00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,550

Картмэн там перданул, и нам

пришлось этим дышать 20 часов.

00:09:34,592 --> 00:09:36,803

Не так уж и сильно там воняло.

Вы преувеличиваете, пацаны.

00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:39,597

Я ничего не чувству... Боже...

00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:45,478

Да какая разница!

00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,409

Картмэн, сукин ты сын!

00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,189

Нельзя пердеть в закрытых помещениях,

когда там сидят другие люди.

00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:50,483

Ну, извините меня, в следующий раз

я вежливо попрошу свой пердеж...

00:09:50,484 --> 00:09:50,982

ещё чуть-чуть подождать.

00:09:50,983 --> 00:09:54,278

Ладно, ладно, давай

отведём эту козу домой.

00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,072

Мы должны найти эту улицу.

00:10:02,495 --> 00:10:03,995

Блин, какое парашное

местечко, чувак.

00:10:03,996 --> 00:10:06,185

Похоже на восточный Денвер,

Господи Иисусе.

00:10:06,186 --> 00:10:08,375

Неудивительно,

что террористы родом отсюда.

00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,586

Если бы я здесь жил, я бы

тоже был такой взбешенный.

00:10:10,587 --> 00:10:12,088

Эй, смотрите, вон такси.

00:10:15,508 --> 00:10:17,093

Привет, нам нужно сюда.

00:10:20,304 --> 00:10:21,973

Бля, что это за грёбаные "Флинстоуны"?

00:10:25,977 --> 00:10:27,103

Это правильный дом?

00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,688

Вроде да.

00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:37,113

Привет, мы из Америки...

00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:39,699

Мы слали вам доллар. 4 доллара.

00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:41,284

Вы нам прислали эту козу.

00:10:41,285 --> 00:10:42,285

Козу?

00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:44,495

Заберите её, она нам не нужна.

00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:46,497

Вам нужно что-то другое?

Коза - это всё, что у нас было.

00:10:46,498 --> 00:10:47,914

Ваша страна разрушила всё остальное.

00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,458

Чувак, это не значит то,

что мы неблагодарные,

00:10:49,459 --> 00:10:51,002

просто никто из нас не

может её у себя держать.

00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:52,503

Она задыхалась прекрасным

воздухом свободы в Америке...

00:10:52,504 --> 00:10:55,089

И поэтому мы привезли

её в вашу херовую страну.

00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:58,509

Вот, возьмите этот флажок

Америки в качестве подарка.

00:11:08,519 --> 00:11:09,603

Эй, какого чёрта вы делаете?

00:11:09,604 --> 00:11:11,898

Нам в школе сказали, что все,

кроме террористов, любят Америку.

00:11:11,899 --> 00:11:12,899

Ха!

00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,108

Как ты нас назвал?

00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,696

Ваша страна - это злая империя,

а правительство хочет править миром.

00:11:18,697 --> 00:11:22,200

А ваши ценности и духовность

находятся в "Гух-тер".

00:11:22,201 --> 00:11:23,493

Тогда чё вы нам козу-то послали?

00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,410

Потому что у нас есть гордость.

00:11:25,411 --> 00:11:27,914

Если вы нам что-то присылаете,

мы должны прислать вам что-то в ответ.

00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:30,708

Но это не значит, что мы вас

не ненавидим. Валите отсюда.

00:11:32,502 --> 00:11:34,128

Эй, откройте дверь.

00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,131

Я же говорил -

Джавы бессердечные.

00:11:37,132 --> 00:11:37,923

Джавы?

00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:38,924

Ну, знаете? Песчаные люди.

00:11:38,925 --> 00:11:40,927

Почему они ненавидят Америку?

Мы-то что сделали?

00:11:42,011 --> 00:11:44,430

Ну, чувак, мы постарались. Если в

этой жопе мира все ненавидят Америку,

00:11:44,431 --> 00:11:46,307

то нам лучше оставить козу

здесь и идти назад на самолёт.

00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:47,308

Хорошо.

00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,688

Она следует за нами - это так грустно.

00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,315

Блин, как же я тебя ненавижу, Стэн.

00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:55,316

Что?

00:12:03,199 --> 00:12:04,826

Здаровенька!

00:12:06,119 --> 00:12:08,703

Приветики из Канады!

00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:11,623

Ну, что, друзья, похоже,

что нам пора домой в Канаду.

00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:15,211

Что за фигню ты несешь? Я не

голимый канадец и ты тоже - нет.

00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,796

Картмэн, ты тупой засранец.

00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,097

Усама Бен Ладен.

00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,100

Молодец, жирножопый.

00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:31,519

Чувак, не смей называть

меня канадцем.

00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,142

"Не там, где есть Усама Бен Ладен"

00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,037

Вы должны нас выслушать, мы - не шпионы.

00:12:51,122 --> 00:12:52,622

Мне кажется, я могу объяснить,

00:12:52,623 --> 00:12:55,042

Стэн - сверхчувственный

любитель животных.

00:12:55,043 --> 00:12:56,627

У него стояк на это козу.

00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:05,136

Бля, это он.

00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:12,414

Слышь, чувак, это штука

называется "дезодорант".

00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:13,811

Понятно? Он не такой уж и дорогой.

00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,048

Снято.

00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,512

Чувак, они сумасшедшие.

00:13:49,514 --> 00:13:53,016

Всё больше и больше случаев,

связанных с террористами.

00:13:53,017 --> 00:13:55,895

Мы только что получили сведения о том,

00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:58,773

что Талибан взял в

заложники граждан Америки.

00:13:58,774 --> 00:14:01,651

Талибан только что прислал кассету,

00:14:01,652 --> 00:14:04,529

на которой ясно видно,

что они взяли в заложники...

00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:05,529

Стиви Никс.

00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:09,117

Стиви Никс вроде в порядке,

хотя её местоположение неизвестно.

00:14:09,118 --> 00:14:13,621

Шерон, ты не видела Стэна

за последние... пару дней?

00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:15,414

Да, только что видела.

00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:16,415

Понятно.

00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:18,734

Пока Стиви Никс в заложниках,

00:14:18,735 --> 00:14:20,837

остальные члены группы

"Fleetwood Mac" были спрятаны...

00:14:20,838 --> 00:14:22,839

чтобы Талибан не мог

до них добраться.

00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,049

О... они забрали Стиви Никс?

00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,259

Сволочи, бессердечные сволочи.

00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:32,223

Хорошо, солдаты. Берите свои пушки и

Библии. Мы вытащим мисс Никс оттуда.

00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:38,146

На видео видно, что Талибан схватил

ещё и 4 американских детей...

00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:40,648

Хотя они могут быть

всего лишь французами.

00:14:40,649 --> 00:14:42,441

Мы должны им помочь.

00:14:42,442 --> 00:14:45,445

Они не шпионы.

Они просто хотели отдать нам козу.

00:14:45,446 --> 00:14:47,737

Да пошли они на хрен.

Они злые американцы.

00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,949

Я знаю, но если мы

не будем помогать невиновным,

00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:52,952

тогда мы будем ничем

не лучше американцев.

00:14:52,953 --> 00:14:55,328

Помогать американцам? Это бред.

00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:59,750

Чувак, мы сейчас говорим

по-английски. Разве это не бред?

00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:02,753

Ладно, пошли.

00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:37,931

Что вы здесь делаете?

00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:39,099

Тихо, мы пришли вас спасти.

00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,142

Я думал, что вы нас ненавидите.

00:15:40,143 --> 00:15:41,143

Так и есть.

00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:45,730

Картмэн, что ты делаешь?

00:15:45,731 --> 00:15:47,441

Я пойду разберусь с этим козлом.

00:15:47,442 --> 00:15:48,733

Картмэн, он сумасшедший.

00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:51,737

Он не сумасшедший, а идиот.

Я знаю, как таких ставить на место.

00:15:54,656 --> 00:15:56,950

Ну чё, Бен Ладен?

00:15:59,661 --> 00:16:02,956

О, уже 5:30. Пора молиться.

00:16:19,556 --> 00:16:21,767

Мы должны идти быстро -

американцы атакуют.

00:16:21,768 --> 00:16:22,434

Куда нам идти?

00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,233

Ложись.

00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,204

Сволочные американцы!

00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,832

Заткнись, пацан.

Америка не начинала эту войну.

00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,833

Именно она её и начала.

00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,335

Она её начала пару лет назад,

00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,338

когда построила свои военные

базы на святых землях Ислама.

00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,733

Ой, смотри - там неверующий.

00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,702

Маленький, неправда ли?

00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,705

Так вот из-за чего всё это...

00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,127

Хмм, на вкус как цыплёнок...

00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,420

как жопа цыплёнка!

00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,926

Мы идем, мисс Никс.

Держитесь!

00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:37,640

Так, с меня хватит.

Нам говорили в школе и по телеку,

00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,643

что большая часть Пакистана

и Афганистана любят Америку.

00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:43,646

И вы поверили? Не только

Талибан ненавидит Америку.

00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,022

Около трети мира ненавидит Америку.

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Но почему?

Почему треть мира нас ненавидит?

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Потому что вы не осознаёте,

что треть мира вас ненавидит.

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Это бред. Вы просто лохи.

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Вы лохи!

00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,032

Вы лохи!

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Вы действительно думаете,

что ваша цивилизация лучше?

00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,840

Ваш народ убивает

зверей и угнетает женщин.

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Это всё равно лучше,

чем цивилизация, которая

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смотрит, как миллионеры

идут по красным коврам...

00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,345

на церемонию вручения "Emmy".

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Тут они правы.

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Она у меня! Стиви Никс со мной!

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Вот ты где. Где ты был? Нам ведь

надо снимать антиамериканское видео.

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Торопись, иди в гардероб.

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Быстрее, быстрее.

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Дорогуша, ты выглядишь замечательно.

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Пошли. Камеры уже готовы.

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Итак, начинаем.

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Вот твой микрофон.

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Мы это сделали.

Талибан уничтожен.

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Надо же. Картмэн действительно

поставил его на место.

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Террористы - это психованный народ.

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Я убил его, убил его.

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Ну, похоже, что Талибан и Бен

Ладен остались без власти.

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Мы вам больше не нужны.

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Эй, подождите, есть кое-что,

что вам стоит знать.

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Большая часть людей

в Америке - хорошие люди,

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которые просто живут,

так же, как и вы.

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Может быть, если бы вы присмотрелись

к хорошим вещам в нашей стране,

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вы бы заметили, что мы не так

уж и сильно от вас отличаемся.

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Да.

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Да. Но мы всё равно вас ненавидим.

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Ну, со временем, может,

и мы научимся вас ненавидеть.

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Может быть... Со временем.

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Чувак, я ни фига не понимаю.

00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,004

Хорошая работа, солдаты.

В очередной раз мы убили своих врагов.

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Мир может спать спокойно,

благодаря вам.

00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:47,470

А теперь, как и обещалось,

"Fleetwood Mac" и Стиви Никс!

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Ладно, пошли на самолёт.

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Чувак, а я уж думал,

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что эти афганские дети убедили

тебя, что Америка - это плохо.

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Нет, чувак. У Америки, может, и есть

проблемы, но это наш дом. Наша команда.

00:21:22,213 --> 00:21:23,694

А если ты не хочешь

болеть за свою команду,

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тогда тебе лучше свалить

на фиг со стадиона.

00:21:25,176 --> 00:21:26,176

Да!

00:21:28,178 --> 00:21:28,887

Вперёд, Америка!

00:21:29,012 --> 00:21:30,180

Вперёд, Америка!

00:21:31,306 --> 00:21:32,307

Вперёд, Бронкс!

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Да, вперёд, Бронкс!

00:21:33,309 --> 00:21:33,891

Да.

00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:39,000

Переведено Нормундом

shadowtrooper@neonet.lv