У Усамы бен Ладена вонючие штаны — Город охватывает массовая паника из-за терроризма. Стэну присылают козла из Афганистана, и тот решает вернуть его домой.

Предыдущая серия S05 E08 Полотенчик

Следующая серия S05 E10 Как питаться с помощью задницы

У Усамы бен Ладена вонючие штаны

Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants

Сезон: 05Серия: 09

Описание

Город охватывает массовая паника из-за терроризма. Стэну присылают козла из Афганистана, и тот решает вернуть его домой.

Субтитры

00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:10,553 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,471 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,306 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:15,725 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:16,976 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,978 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,691 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,067 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,489 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,324 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,791 Remember when life used to be simple and cool?
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,793 Not really.
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,670 Uh, hey, how's it going fellas?
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,547 Butters, what the hell are you doing?
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,507 Well, I'm just standing around being a kid, why?
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,509 How come you're all wearing those oogy spacemen masks?
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,719 These are gas masks, Butters!
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,094 Yeah, if you don't have a gas mask,
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,680 you're gonna get smallpox or anthrax.
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,056 What?
00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:56,849 Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna get the 'thrax, fellas.
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,601 What do I do?
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,019 There's nothing you can do except stop breathing.
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,562 Stop breathing?
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,022 Yeah, you can't get it if you don't breathe.
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,690 Oh, alright then.
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,704 Okay, next.
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,375 Next.
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,753 Let's see, <i>Hotties, Juicy, Whoppers.</i>
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:28,547 Okay, next.
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,799 Aha!
00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,342 What the hell are you doing with this?
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,802 Those are my <i>Hootie Owl</i> round tip scissors.
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,595 These are a weapon!
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,888 Oh, come on, how am I gonna kill people with those?
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,056 I'll think of a way.
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,057 Now move along.
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,391 God damn it!
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,103 Alright, next!
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,731 Okay, clear.
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,535 Oh, Jesus, man! They're gonna get me!
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,911 Oh, Christ!
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,579 They're gonna get me.
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,039 Alright, class, as some of you may have heard,
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,999 the president has asked that American children
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,711 all send one dollar to the children of Afghanistan.
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,422 So I have a list of addresses and we're going to all chip in.
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,924 Ha!
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,467 I'm not giving a dollar to those towel-heads.
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:14,844 Eric, the Afghan people need our help.
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,595 Oh, I'm sorry,
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,430 but I thought we were at war with these assholes!
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:19,807 We're at war with terrorists, fatass,
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:20,891 not with Afghanistan.
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,434 And the only reason you care
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,769 is 'cause you don't wanna give up a dollar.
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,855 That dollar buys me a chocolate milk for lunch!
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,857 What, you want me to just get a regular milk for 10ȼ?
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,775 Now look, it isn't our fault that terrorists hate us.
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,360 We're just kids.
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,528 We aren't the ones bombing them now.
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,071 We're just kids.
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,823 There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world,
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,074 but we're just caught in the middle.
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,742 It's not our fault.
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,286 The Afghan kids are caught in the middle too.
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,787 Yes, but they're sand monkeys!
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,747 Alright, children, we're all sending a dollar
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332 to the kids in Afghanistan.
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917 That's it, end of discussion!
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,378 God damn it, I hate regular milk!
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,570 Aw!
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,664 Aw!
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,342 Aww!
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,379 Another high alert status for terrorist activity this weekend.
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,297 The government said bad things are likely to happen.
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,384 Meanwhile, the world continues to back down
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,843 from their support of the United States,
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,012 saying that they were really only kidding to begin with.
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,305 Hey Mom, doorbell's ringing.
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,642 Hey, Sharon.
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,727 Maybe you should stop watching the news for a little bit.
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:34,733 Sharon, you've been watching CNN for about...
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,277 eight weeks now.
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:37,361 Don't you want to watch something else?
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,612 Sh-Sharon?
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,947 Hey, look what the postman brought me!
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,657 It's a big, brown package from Afghanistan.
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,992 That's nice.
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,576 We sent the Afghani kids some dollars,
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,370 They must've sent us something cool in return.
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,746 Do we have some scissors to cut this open?
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,957 Stanley, your mother's a little freaked out right now.
00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,583 Why don't you go play with
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,085 your big, brown package from Afghanistan outside.
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,963 Alright.
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:59,008 Big, brown package from Afghanistan!?
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,721 Dude, what's going on?
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,306 We got a package from the kids we sent dollars to.
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,308 They sent us something back.
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,935 Prelim shows negative, sir.
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,645 Then we're gonna have to blow it.
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938 Yes, sir!
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,651 Ah, this is it, man, it's over!
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,404 Tweak, calm down, have some coffee.
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,369 Open!
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:33,625 Ah, it's just a goat.
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,712 Precious goat.
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,840 Hey there, little guy.
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,800 Stay away from it!
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,719 Terrorists could've given that goat anthrax or smallpox
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,803 before sending it over!
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,347 Johnson! - Sir.
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,639 Check the goat for diseases.
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,807 Yes, sir!
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,898 The goat seems to be clean, sir.
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:56,648 I told you.
00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,692 Those Afghan kids just wanted to give us something back
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,277 for giving them $4.
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,487 Four dollars for a goat, we got ripped off.
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,322 Alright, men, this area is secure.
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:04,865 Let's head out.
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,911 What are we supposed to do with it?
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,704 You're gonna have to take it home with you, Kyle.
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,498 Dude, my mom won't even let me have a hamster.
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,582 Kenny?
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,958 No freakin' way, dude.
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,460 My parents will never let me keep a goat.
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,920 Well, I guess we're gonna have to kill it.
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,546 No, we're not going to kill it, Cartman.
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,382 We'll just have to take the return address
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,674 and mail it back to the kids in Afghanistan.
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,675 Come on, goat.
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:25,761 Uh-oh, they're closing.
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,721 Excuse me,
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,390 we wanna overnight this goat to Afghanistan, please.
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,849 Excuse me?
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,601 It's an Afghanistan goat so it can't stay here,
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,437 or else it will choke on the sweet air of freedom.
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,939 Afghanistan?
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,732 I'm sorry boys, but our planes aren't flying there.
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,275 They're not?
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,527 The only planes going to Afghanistan
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529 are the military planes over at the base.
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,155 I'm sorry.
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,448 Oh, yeah, the military planes.
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,158 Come on, goat, we'll put you on one of them.
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:50,994 Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,037 in the military base.
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,372 They might shoot us.
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,456 I don't care, we're going.
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,624 don't forget to bring a towel.
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,834 Ah!
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,710 Oh no, not Towelie.
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,879 When going someplace new, you should always bring a towel.
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:01,880 Okay, thanks, Towelie.
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,298 You wanna get high?
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,591 No, we don't wanna get high!
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,552 You mean, you don't want Towelie around?
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,387 That's right!
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,890 So am I to understand that there's been a "Towelie ban"?
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,603 God damn it, get the hell out of here, Towelie!
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,896 Alright, see ya.
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,900 Alright, troops,
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,569 we'll depart for Afghanistan in five minutes.
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,987 Let's move out!
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,697 Alright, come on.
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,282 We just gotta get the goat on one of these planes.
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,408 Isn't this exciting, Tony?
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,909 We're finally gonna see some action.
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,744 Yeah, and I hear that as soon as we land,
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,745 we get a U.S.O. Show.
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,289 We do!
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,790 Stevie Nicks is going to perform.
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,959 Oh, Stevie Nicks, I-I love her!
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,837 Okay, it's clear, come on.
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,590 Hey you!
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633 What the hell do you think you're doing here?
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,346 I'm sorry, Miss Nicks.
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,723 Hey, guys, it's Stevie Nicks!
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,933 Oh, wow!
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,977 Can I get a picture?
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729 Miss Nicks, over here, Miss Nicks.
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,274 Miss Nicks, I don't wanna bother you,
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,568 but could you sing a quick Fleetwood Mac for us?
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:05,694 Could you?
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,695 Come on!
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,242 Wait 'til I tell my sister about this;
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,452 she is gonna flip!
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,661 Well, we've gotta get Miss Nicks
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:15,871 on the plane to Afghanistan, guys.
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,748 Oh, can we just get a--
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,292 I'm sorry, Miss Nicks isn't answering any more questions.
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,544 Oh sure, we understand. Move along.
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,046 She looks great. She looks great.
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,508 Hey, let's put him on here.
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,385 Shh... there we go.
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,803 You're gonna be okay, goat.
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,473 You'll be back in Afghanistan in about 20 hours.
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,933 Stan, if you're finished
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,392 having your tearful good-bye with the goat,
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,519 we'd like to go now, please.
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,811 Alright.
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,271 Alright, tango clear, let's head out.
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,648 Oh, son of a bitch!
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,899 Hey, wait!
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,817 There's children in here!
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,241 Dude, it looks like we're going to...Afghanistan.
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,492 Going to Afghanistan?
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,826 Trapped in a small space for 20 hours--
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:55,827 how could things get any worse?
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,997 Oh, you guys.
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,348 hut hut hut hut hut hut hut.
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,433 Welcome to Afghanistan, troops.
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,270 Get your gear ready and report to the barracks in 0-900.
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,521 sir, yes, sir!
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,273 Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut...
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,608 Oh, God! It was horrible!
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,110 20 hours!
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,405 What the hell?
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,614 Cartman farted in there.
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,366 We had to breathe it in for 20 hours.
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,410 It didn't smell that bad. You guys are overreacting.
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,079 I don't smell any-- oh, oh God!
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,126 Oh, whatever.
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,627 You son of a bitch, Cartman.
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,462 You don't fart when you're locked in a small space
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,463 with other people!
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,756 Oh, I'm sorry!
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,383 Next time I'll just ask my fart nicely
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,302 if it wouldn't mind staying tucked away for a while!
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,137 Alright, let's just get the goat back to his home.
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,471 We have to find this address.
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,603 God, what a craphole, dude!
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,480 This is like east Denver, Jesus Christ!
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,649 Dude, no wonder terrorists come from places like this.
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,484 If I grew up here, I'd be pissed off too.
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,695 Hey, look, there's a taxi.
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,324 Hello.
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,450 We need to go here.
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,246 God, what is this, the friggin' <i>Flintstones?</i>
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,251 Is this the right house?
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,711 I think so.
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:37,137 Uh, hi, we're from America.
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,139 Uh, we sent you the dollar, the $4.
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,182 You sent us this goat.
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,309 Goat?
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,144 Here, we don't want it.
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,145 Oh, you want something else?
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,355 All we had was the goat.
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,731 Your country bombed everything else.
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,191 No, dude, we're not ungrateful.
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,109 It's just none of us can keep the goat.
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,028 it was choking on the sweet air of freedom in America,
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,364 so we brought it back to your crappy country.
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,366 Oh, and here.
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,535 Take this American flag as a gift.
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,461 Hey, what the hell are you doing?
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,796 They told us in school
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,089 Everyone but terrorists love America.
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,175 What did you call us?
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,343 Your country is the evil empire.
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,387 Your government wants to rule the world!
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,473 But your values and spirituality are in the gutter.
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,724 Then why did you send us a goat?
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,518 Because in Afghanistan, we have pride.
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,727 If you send us something,
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,229 we must send something in return.
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,398 It doesn't mean we don't still hate you.
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,483 Now, get out of here!
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,486 Hey, hey, open the door.
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,655 I told you, Jawas have no hearts.
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,448 Jawas? - You know, sand people.
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,700 How come they hate America so much?
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,701 What the hell did we do?
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,285 Well, we tried, dude.
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,287 If anyone else in this craphole hates Americans,
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,248 we better just leave the goat and get back to the plane.
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041 Alright.
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,502 Oh, look, he's following us;
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,045 it's so sad.
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:52,713 God, I hate you so much, Stan.
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,714 What?
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,142 Howdy.
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,770 Uh...Greetings from Canada.
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,313 Well, boys, it's "aboot" time
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:11,773 we get to our "hoose" in Canada, isn't it?
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,442 Hey, what the hell are you talking about?
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,318 I'm not a God damn Canadian and neither are you!
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,528 Oh, Cartman, you stupid asshole.
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,288 ...Osama bin Laden!
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,374 Good job, fat-ass.
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,584 Dude, don't call me a Canadian.
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852 You gotta listen to me, we're not spies!
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,897 Look, I think I can explain everything.
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483 See, my friend Stan here is an oversensitive animal lover.
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,901 He got a boner for this goat.
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,908 Ooh, a la bulla bulla bulla.
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,451 Oh crap, it's him!
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,788 A mulla mulla mulla?
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,499 Mulla hak a mulla.
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,917 Oh, dude, it's called deodorant, okay?
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:12,959 It's not expensive.
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:17,422 Hakka maha mallah!
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,726 Ooh, a tukka tukka mulla mulla.
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,978 America a booga booga booga.
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,314 Hakka hakka durka durka.
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,693 Hakka hakka durka durka!
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,862 And...cut!
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,868 Dude, these people are insane.
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,996 As more and more cases
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,624 of terrorist-related aids continues to grow.
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,750 And this just in:
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,127 the Taliban has apparently taken
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,587 American civilians as hostages.
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,798 The Taliban has just released this videotape
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,466 in which it is clearly visible
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,553 that they have indeed captured Stevie Nicks.
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,304 Miss Nicks appears to be in good spirits,
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,098 though her whereabouts are unknown.
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,474 Hey, Sh-Sharon,
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,352 have you seen Stan in the last couple days?
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,730 Yes, I just saw him. - Oh, okay.
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,482 With Stevie Nicks in captivity
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,276 the other members of Fleetwood Mac have been hidden
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,486 so the Taliban can't get to them as well.
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,488 They...took Stevie Nicks?
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,573 Bastards!
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,701 Heartless, gutless bastards!
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,827 Alright, men.
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245 Grab your guns and your bibles.
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,706 We're going to get Miss Nicks back.
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,625 The Taliban's video also shows
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,670 what appears to be four American children in captivity,
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,213 though they could just be French.
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,339 We have to help them.
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,757 They are not the spies.
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,218 They came to give us our goat back.
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,845 Screw them! They're evil Americans.
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,806 I know, but if we don't help the innocent ones,
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,142 then we are no better than the Americans are.
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,685 Help Americans?
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,270 That doesn't make sense.
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,855 Dude, we are speaking English right now.
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,440 Does that make sense?
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,067 Alright, let's go.
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,496 Oh...jihad, jihad.
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,462 Ooh, ooh!
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,339 America, hakka hakka!
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,258 Dursha, durpa durpa durpa!
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,387 Boola boola booga wooga hagga.
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,476 Gurba de durka and America!
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,519 Hey, what are you guys doing here?
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,897 Shh, we've come to save you.
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,856 But I thought you hate us.
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,316 We do.
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,859 Durkka durkka...
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:45,904 Cartman, where are you going?
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,489 I'm gonna go take care of this prick.
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865 Cartman, he's crazy.
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,200 He's not crazy, he's an idiot.
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,826 I know how to deal with these people.
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119 A flibbidy flabbidy floo!
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,162 Jihad, jihad!
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,413 Hey...
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,456 what's up, Bin Laden?
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,249 Aruba duba duba!
00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,584 Durba durba hak!
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,919 Uh-oh, 5:30, time to pray!
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,380 Ah la la...
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,422 tabba hagga?
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,967 Allah allah allah.
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,385 Ala hagga durpa, durpa durpa haggalah.
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,140 Uh-oh!
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,313 We will have to be quick.
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,481 The Americans are attacking!
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,108 Where do we go?
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,609 Get down!
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,372 You murdering American!
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,374 Hey, shut up, kid. America didn't start this war.
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501 America did start this war.
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,378 They started it years ago
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,798 when they put military bases on Muslim holy lands.
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:02,564 Ramadan!
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,523 Hey, look, an infidel!
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,567 Ooh, pedro kabob!
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,080 So that's what this is all about.
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,125 Ishtar fatwah open sesame!
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,419 Ooh, tastes like chicken.
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,962 The ass of a chicken!
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,172 Toolah foo kabob!
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,757 Woo hoo!
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,258 We're coming, Miss Nicks,
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384 hang on!
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,305 Alright, I've had just about enough of this.
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,390 They told us in school, and on TV,
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,434 that most people in Afghanistan and Pakistan like America.
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,061 ...and you believe it?
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,854 It is not just the Taliban that hates America.
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,273 Over a third of the world hates America.
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,192 but why, why does a third of the world hate us?
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,943 Because you don't realize
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,320 that a third of the world hates you.
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,529 That doesn't make sense.
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,947 You guys are just buttholes.
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:53,907 You're buttholes!
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:54,783 You're buttholes!
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,787 Yoo hoo.
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,625 A dukka dukka dukka.
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,171 Dukka dukka dukka doo!
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,898 Ooh, bella, bella, falafel.
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,901 Mi amore, fatwah, fatwah.
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,327 Ah, vino, mi fatwah.
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,870 J'ai une fatwah.
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,878 You really think that your civilization
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,255 is better than ours?
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,422 You people play games by killing animals
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,841 and oppress women.
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,175 It's better than a civilization
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,885 that's spends its time watching millionaires
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512 walk down the red carpet at the Emmys.
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,721 He's got us there, dude.
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,601 I got her, I got Stevie Nicks.
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,064 There you are! Where have you been?
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,941 We have another anti-American video to make.
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,985 Oh, video durka?
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,989 Hurry, get into wardrobe!
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,449 Oh, hurry up, will you, hurry!
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,452 Oh, you look marvelous, darling.
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,871 Hakka hamma hamma.
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,581 Come on, the cameras are ready.
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,915 Alright, there we go.
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041 Let's roll cameras.
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,418 Oh, and here's your microphone.
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:33,131 Oh, America a durka durka.
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:36,885 Uh-oh.
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,310 We've done it, the Taliban is destroyed!
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,063 Wow, I guess Cartman really did take care of him.
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,190 Blh-blh-blh-blh!
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,567 Terrorists is the craziest peoples!
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,613 Oh!
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239 I got him, I got him!
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,033 Well, looks like the Taliban and Bin Laden
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,117 are finally out of power.
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,577 Yeah, you don't need us anymore.
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,953 Hey, wait a minute.
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,371 Y'know, you guys should know one thing:
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,248 Most people in America are good people
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,042 who just try to live day by day like you guys do.
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,418 Maybe if you took some time
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,086 to see all the great things about our country,
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,088 you'd see we're not so different after all.
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,381 Yeah.
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,634 That's fine, but we still hate you.
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,553 Oh...
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,513 Well, I guess maybe some day
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,933 we can learn to hate you, too.
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,436 Maybe, in time.
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,104 I'm confused.
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,527 Great job, troops.
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,863 Once again we have killed our enemies!
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,659 The world is now safe thanks to you.
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:43,993 And so now, as promised,
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,956 here is Fleetwood Mac with Stevie Nicks!
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,881 ♪ Just like the one-winged bird ♪
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,675 ♪ Sings the song sounds like she's singing ♪
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,885 ♪ Baby, said ♪
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,891 Come on, let's go get to the plane.
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,984 Dude, I almost thought those Afghani kids
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,902 talked you into not liking America.
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,070 No, dude.
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,571 America may have some problems,
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,115 but it's our home, our team.
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,908 And if you don't wanna root for your team,
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,827 then you should get the hell out of the stadium.
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,954 Yeah.
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,290 Go America. Go America.
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,125 Go Broncos.
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,126 Yeah, go Broncos.
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,502 Yeah.

00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:10,553 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,471 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,306 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:15,725 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:16,976 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,978 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,730 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,691 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,067 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,904 ♪ [muffled] ♪
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,489 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,324 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,791 Remember when life used to be simple and cool?
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,793 Not really.
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,670 Uh, hey, how's it going fellas?
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,547 Butters, what the hell are you doing?
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,507 Well, I'm just standing around being a kid, why?
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,509 How come you're all wearing those oogy spacemen masks?
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,719 These are gas masks, Butters!
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,094 Yeah, if you don't have a gas mask,
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,680 you're gonna get smallpox or anthrax.
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,056 What?
00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:56,849 Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna get the 'thrax, fellas.
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,601 What do I do?
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,019 There's nothing you can do except stop breathing.
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,562 Stop breathing?
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,022 Yeah, you can't get it if you don't breathe.
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,690 Oh, alright then.
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,484 [inhales]
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,704 Okay, next.
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,375 Next.
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,753 Let's see, <i>Hotties, Juicy, Whoppers.</i>
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:28,547 Okay, next.
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,799 Aha!
00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,342 What the hell are you doing with this?
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,802 Those are my <i>Hootie Owl</i> round tip scissors.
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,595 These are a weapon!
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,888 Oh, come on, how am I gonna kill people with those?
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,056 I'll think of a way.
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,057 Now move along.
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:39,391 God damn it!
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,103 Alright, next!
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,731 Okay, clear.
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,444 [school bell rings]
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,535 Oh, Jesus, man! They're gonna get me!
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,911 Oh, Christ!
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,579 They're gonna get me.
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,039 Alright, class, as some of you may have heard,
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,999 the president has asked that American children
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,711 all send one dollar to the children of Afghanistan.
00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,422 So I have a list of addresses and we're going to all chip in.
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:11,924 Ha!
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,467 I'm not giving a dollar to those towel-heads.
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:14,844 Eric, the Afghan people need our help.
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,595 Oh, I'm sorry,
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,430 but I thought we were at war with these assholes!
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:19,807 We're at war with terrorists, fatass,
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:20,891 not with Afghanistan.
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,434 And the only reason you care
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,769 is 'cause you don't wanna give up a dollar.
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,855 That dollar buys me a chocolate milk for lunch!
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,857 What, you want me to just get a regular milk for 10ȼ?
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,775 Now look, it isn't our fault that terrorists hate us.
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,360 We're just kids.
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,528 We aren't the ones bombing them now.
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,071 We're just kids.
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,823 There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world,
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,074 but we're just caught in the middle.
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,742 It's not our fault.
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,286 The Afghan kids are caught in the middle too.
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,787 Yes, but they're sand monkeys!
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,747 Alright, children, we're all sending a dollar
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332 to the kids in Afghanistan.
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917 That's it, end of discussion!
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,378 God damn it, I hate regular milk!
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,722 [both speaking native language]
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,560 [speaking native language]
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,979 [muffled]
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,570 All: Aw!
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,405 [speaking native language]
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,664 All: Aw!
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,500 [all speaking native language]
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,342 All: Aww!
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,261 [all speaking native language]
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,379 Another high alert status for terrorist activity this weekend.
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,297 The government said bad things are likely to happen.
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,715 [doorbell rings]
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,384 Meanwhile, the world continues to back down
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:19,843 from their support of the United States,
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,012 saying that they were really only kidding to begin with.
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,305 Hey Mom, doorbell's ringing.
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,765 [mumbles]
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,642 Hey, Sharon.
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,727 Maybe you should stop watching the news for a little bit.
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,021 [mumbles]
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:34,733 Sharon, you've been watching CNN for about...
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,277 eight weeks now.
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:37,361 Don't you want to watch something else?
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,612 Sh-Sharon?
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,947 Hey, look what the postman brought me!
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,657 It's a big, brown package from Afghanistan.
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,992 That's nice.
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,576 We sent the Afghani kids some dollars,
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,370 They must've sent us something cool in return.
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,746 Do we have some scissors to cut this open?
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,957 Stanley, your mother's a little freaked out right now.
00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,583 Why don't you go play with
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,085 your big, brown package from Afghanistan outside.
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,963 Alright.
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:59,008 Both: Big, brown package from Afghanistan!?
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,721 Dude, what's going on?
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,306 We got a package from the kids we sent dollars to.
00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,308 They sent us something back.
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,935 Prelim shows negative, sir.
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,645 Then we're gonna have to blow it.
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938 All: Yes, sir!
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,651 Ah, this is it, man, it's over!
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,404 Tweak, calm down, have some coffee.
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,369 Open!
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,415 [goat bleats]
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:33,625 Ah, it's just a goat.
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,419 [all sigh]
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,712 Precious goat.
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,505 [goat bleats]
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,840 Hey there, little guy.
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,800 Stay away from it!
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,719 Terrorists could've given that goat anthrax or smallpox
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,803 before sending it over!
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,347 Johnson! - Sir.
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,639 Check the goat for diseases.
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,807 Yes, sir!
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,898 The goat seems to be clean, sir.
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:56,648 I told you.
00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,692 Those Afghan kids just wanted to give us something back
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,277 for giving them $4.
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,487 Four dollars for a goat, we got ripped off.
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,322 Alright, men, this area is secure.
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:04,865 Let's head out.
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,911 What are we supposed to do with it?
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,704 You're gonna have to take it home with you, Kyle.
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,498 Dude, my mom won't even let me have a hamster.
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,582 Kenny?
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,958 No freakin' way, dude.
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,460 My parents will never let me keep a goat.
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,920 Well, I guess we're gonna have to kill it.
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,546 No, we're not going to kill it, Cartman.
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,382 We'll just have to take the return address
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:22,674 and mail it back to the kids in Afghanistan.
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,675 Come on, goat.
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:24,885 [goat bleats]
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:25,761 Uh-oh, they're closing.
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,721 Excuse me,
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,390 we wanna overnight this goat to Afghanistan, please.
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,849 Excuse me?
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,601 It's an Afghanistan goat so it can't stay here,
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,437 or else it will choke on the sweet air of freedom.
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,939 Afghanistan?
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,732 I'm sorry boys, but our planes aren't flying there.
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,275 They're not?
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,527 The only planes going to Afghanistan
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529 are the military planes over at the base.
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,155 I'm sorry.
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,448 Oh, yeah, the military planes.
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,158 Come on, goat, we'll put you on one of them.
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:50,994 Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,037 in the military base.
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,372 They might shoot us.
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,456 I don't care, we're going.
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,624 don't forget to bring a towel.
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,834 All: Ah!
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,710 Oh no, not Towelie.
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,879 When going someplace new, you should always bring a towel.
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:01,880 Okay, thanks, Towelie.
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,298 You wanna get high?
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,591 No, we don't wanna get high!
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,552 You mean, you don't want Towelie around?
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:08,387 That's right!
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,890 So am I to understand that there's been a "Towelie ban"?
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,434 [snickering]
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,977 [all moaning]
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,603 God damn it, get the hell out of here, Towelie!
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:17,896 Alright, see ya.
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,900 Alright, troops,
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,569 we'll depart for Afghanistan in five minutes.
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,987 Let's move out!
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,697 Alright, come on.
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,282 We just gotta get the goat on one of these planes.
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,408 Isn't this exciting, Tony?
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,909 We're finally gonna see some action.
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,744 Yeah, and I hear that as soon as we land,
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,745 we get a U.S.O. Show.
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,289 We do!
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,790 Stevie Nicks is going to perform.
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,959 Oh, Stevie Nicks, I-I love her!
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,837 Okay, it's clear, come on.
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,590 Hey you!
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,633 What the hell do you think you're doing here?
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,802 [goat bleats]
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,346 I'm sorry, Miss Nicks.
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,723 Hey, guys, it's Stevie Nicks!
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,933 Oh, wow!
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,977 Can I get a picture?
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729 Miss Nicks, over here, Miss Nicks.
00:07:58,854 --> 00:07:59,938 [goat bleats]
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,274 Miss Nicks, I don't wanna bother you,
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,568 but could you sing a quick Fleetwood Mac for us?
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:05,694 Could you?
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:06,695 Come on!
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,490 [goat bleating]
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,824 [all cheering]
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,242 Wait 'til I tell my sister about this;
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,452 she is gonna flip!
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,661 Well, we've gotta get Miss Nicks
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:15,871 on the plane to Afghanistan, guys.
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,748 Oh, can we just get a--
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,292 I'm sorry, Miss Nicks isn't answering any more questions.
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,544 Oh sure, we understand. Move along.
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,046 She looks great. She looks great.
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,508 Hey, let's put him on here.
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,259 [goat bleats]
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,385 Shh... there we go.
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,803 You're gonna be okay, goat.
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:34,473 You'll be back in Afghanistan in about 20 hours.
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,933 Stan, if you're finished
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:37,392 having your tearful good-bye with the goat,
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,519 we'd like to go now, please.
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,811 Alright.
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,271 Alright, tango clear, let's head out.
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,648 Oh, son of a bitch!
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:43,899 Hey, wait!
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,817 There's children in here!
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:49,571 [muffled speech]
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,241 Dude, it looks like we're going to...Afghanistan.
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,492 Going to Afghanistan?
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,826 Trapped in a small space for 20 hours--
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:55,827 how could things get any worse?
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,162 [fart]
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,997 [all moan] Oh, you guys.
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,348 All: hut hut hut hut hut hut hut.
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,433 Welcome to Afghanistan, troops.
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,270 Get your gear ready and report to the barracks in 0-900.
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,521 All: sir, yes, sir!
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,273 Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut...
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,608 Oh, God! It was horrible!
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,110 20 hours!
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,987 [mumbling]
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,405 What the hell?
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,614 Cartman farted in there.
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,366 We had to breathe it in for 20 hours.
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,410 It didn't smell that bad. You guys are overreacting.
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,079 I don't smell any-- oh, oh God!
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,126 Oh, whatever.
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,627 You son of a bitch, Cartman.
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,462 You don't fart when you're locked in a small space
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,463 with other people!
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,756 Oh, I'm sorry!
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,383 Next time I'll just ask my fart nicely
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,302 if it wouldn't mind staying tucked away for a while!
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,137 Alright, let's just get the goat back to his home.
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,471 We have to find this address.
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,556 [goat bleats]
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:02,603 God, what a craphole, dude!
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,480 This is like east Denver, Jesus Christ!
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,649 Dude, no wonder terrorists come from places like this.
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,484 If I grew up here, I'd be pissed off too.
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,695 Hey, look, there's a taxi.
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,324 Hello.
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,450 We need to go here.
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,826 [speaking native language]
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,453 [whip cracks]
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,246 God, what is this, the friggin' <i>Flintstones?</i>
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,251 Is this the right house?
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,711 I think so.
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,422 [knocking]
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,467 [speaking native language]
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:37,137 Uh, hi, we're from America.
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,139 Uh, we sent you the dollar, the $4.
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,182 You sent us this goat.
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,309 Goat?
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,144 Here, we don't want it.
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,145 Oh, you want something else?
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,355 All we had was the goat.
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,731 Your country bombed everything else.
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,191 No, dude, we're not ungrateful.
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,109 It's just none of us can keep the goat.
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,028 it was choking on the sweet air of freedom in America,
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,364 so we brought it back to your crappy country.
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,366 Oh, and here.
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,535 Take this American flag as a gift.
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,751 [all cheering]
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,461 Hey, what the hell are you doing?
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,796 They told us in school
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,089 Everyone but terrorists love America.
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,715 [speaking native language]
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,175 What did you call us?
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,343 Your country is the evil empire.
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,387 Your government wants to rule the world!
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,473 But your values and spirituality are in the gutter.
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:22,724 Then why did you send us a goat?
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,518 Because in Afghanistan, we have pride.
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,727 If you send us something,
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,229 we must send something in return.
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,398 It doesn't mean we don't still hate you.
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,483 Now, get out of here!
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,486 Hey, hey, open the door.
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,655 I told you, Jawas have no hearts.
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,448 Jawas? - You know, sand people.
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,700 How come they hate America so much?
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,701 What the hell did we do?
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,285 Well, we tried, dude.
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,287 If anyone else in this craphole hates Americans,
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,248 we better just leave the goat and get back to the plane.
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041 Alright.
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:50,502 Oh, look, he's following us;
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,045 it's so sad.
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:52,713 God, I hate you so much, Stan.
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,714 What?
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,341 [angry chanting]
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,142 Howdy.
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,770 Uh...Greetings from Canada.
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,313 Well, boys, it's "aboot" time
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:11,773 we get to our "hoose" in Canada, isn't it?
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,442 Hey, what the hell are you talking about?
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,318 I'm not a God damn Canadian and neither are you!
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,528 Oh, Cartman, you stupid asshole.
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,781 [all shouting]
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,784 [all speaking native language]
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:26,288 ...Osama bin Laden!
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,123 [laughter]
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,374 Good job, fat-ass.
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,584 Dude, don't call me a Canadian.
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:34,880 [chanting echoing]
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,721 [gunshot, chanting stops]
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,852 You gotta listen to me, we're not spies!
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,437 [speaking native language]
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,897 Look, I think I can explain everything.
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,483 See, my friend Stan here is an oversensitive animal lover.
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,901 He got a boner for this goat.
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,653 [shouting]
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,908 Ooh, a la bulla bulla bulla.
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,451 Oh crap, it's him!
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:05,619 [goat bleats]
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,788 A mulla mulla mulla?
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,499 Mulla hak a mulla.
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,917 Oh, dude, it's called deodorant, okay?
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:12,959 It's not expensive.
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:17,422 Hakka maha mallah!
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:18,465 [speaking native language]
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,726 Ooh, a tukka tukka mulla mulla.
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,978 America a booga booga booga.
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,314 Hakka hakka durka durka.
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,607 [laughs]
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,693 Hakka hakka durka durka!
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,862 And...cut!
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,868 Dude, these people are insane.
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,996 As more and more cases
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,624 of terrorist-related aids continues to grow.
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,750 And this just in:
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,127 the Taliban has apparently taken
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,587 American civilians as hostages.
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,798 The Taliban has just released this videotape
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,466 in which it is clearly visible
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,553 that they have indeed captured Stevie Nicks.
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,304 Miss Nicks appears to be in good spirits,
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,098 though her whereabouts are unknown.
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,474 Hey, Sh-Sharon,
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,352 have you seen Stan in the last couple days?
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,730 Yes, I just saw him. - Oh, okay.
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,482 With Stevie Nicks in captivity
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,276 the other members of Fleetwood Mac have been hidden
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,486 so the Taliban can't get to them as well.
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,488 They...took Stevie Nicks?
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,573 Bastards!
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,701 Heartless, gutless bastards!
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:28,827 Alright, men.
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245 Grab your guns and your bibles.
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,706 We're going to get Miss Nicks back.
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,165 [all cheering]
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,625 The Taliban's video also shows
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,670 what appears to be four American children in captivity,
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,213 though they could just be French.
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,339 We have to help them. - [mutters]
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,757 They are not the spies.
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,218 They came to give us our goat back.
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,845 Screw them! They're evil Americans.
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,806 I know, but if we don't help the innocent ones,
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,142 then we are no better than the Americans are.
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,685 Help Americans?
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,270 That doesn't make sense.
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,855 Dude, we are speaking English right now.
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,440 Does that make sense?
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,067 Alright, let's go.
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:01,985 [frustrated shout]
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,450 [all singing in native language]
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,496 Oh...jihad, jihad.
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:16,041 [alarm ringing]
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,462 Ooh, ooh!
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,339 America, hakka hakka!
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,258 Dursha, durpa durpa durpa!
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,387 Boola boola booga wooga hagga.
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,476 Gurba de durka and America!
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,519 Hey, what are you guys doing here?
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,897 Shh, we've come to save you.
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:39,856 But I thought you hate us.
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,316 We do.
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,859 Durkka durkka...
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:45,904 Cartman, where are you going?
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,489 I'm gonna go take care of this prick.
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865 Cartman, he's crazy.
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,200 He's not crazy, he's an idiot.
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,826 I know how to deal with these people.
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119 A flibbidy flabbidy floo!
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,162 Jihad, jihad!
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,413 Hey... [Bugs Bunny chewing]
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,456 what's up, Bin Laden?
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,249 Aruba duba duba!
00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,584 Durba durba hak!
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,919 Uh-oh, 5:30, time to pray!
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,380 Ah la la...
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,422 tabba hagga?
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,967 Allah allah allah.
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,385 Ala hagga durpa, durpa durpa haggalah.
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:11,096 [ding]
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,140 Uh-oh!
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,183 [smoooch]
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,313 We will have to be quick.
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,481 The Americans are attacking!
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,108 Where do we go?
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,609 Get down!
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:33,535 [speaking native language] [speaking native language]
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,372 You murdering American!
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,374 Hey, shut up, kid. America didn't start this war.
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501 America did start this war.
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,378 They started it years ago
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,798 when they put military bases on Muslim holy lands.
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:02,564 Ramadan!
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,523 Hey, look, an infidel!
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,567 Ooh, pedro kabob!
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,080 So that's what this is all about.
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,125 Ishtar fatwah open sesame!
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,209 [smmoooch]
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,419 Ooh, tastes like chicken.
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,962 The ass of a chicken!
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,172 Toolah foo kabob!
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,757 Woo hoo!
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,258 We're coming, Miss Nicks,
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,384 hang on!
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,470 [goat bleating]
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,305 Alright, I've had just about enough of this.
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,390 They told us in school, and on TV,
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,434 that most people in Afghanistan and Pakistan like America.
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,061 ...and you believe it?
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,854 It is not just the Taliban that hates America.
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,273 Over a third of the world hates America.
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,192 but why, why does a third of the world hate us?
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,943 Because you don't realize
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,320 that a third of the world hates you.
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,529 That doesn't make sense.
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,947 You guys are just buttholes.
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:53,907 You're buttholes!
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:54,783 Both: You're buttholes!
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,787 Yoo hoo.
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,625 A dukka dukka dukka.
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,171 Dukka dukka dukka doo!
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,297 [whistles]
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,007 [howls]
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,898 Ooh, bella, bella, falafel.
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,901 Mi amore, fatwah, fatwah.
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,327 Ah, vino, mi fatwah.
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,870 J'ai une fatwah.
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:48,878 You really think that your civilization
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,255 is better than ours?
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,422 You people play games by killing animals
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,841 and oppress women.
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,175 It's better than a civilization
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,885 that's spends its time watching millionaires
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,512 walk down the red carpet at the Emmys.
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,721 He's got us there, dude.
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,601 I got her, I got Stevie Nicks.
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,064 There you are! Where have you been?
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,941 We have another anti-American video to make.
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,985 Oh, video durka?
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,989 Hurry, get into wardrobe!
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,449 Oh, hurry up, will you, hurry!
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,452 Oh, you look marvelous, darling.
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,871 Hakka hamma hamma.
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,581 Come on, the cameras are ready.
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,915 Alright, there we go.
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041 Let's roll cameras.
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,418 Oh, and here's your microphone.
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:33,131 Oh, America a durka durka.
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:36,885 Uh-oh.
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,678 [all scream]
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,308 ["America the Beautiful" on piano]
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,310 We've done it, the Taliban is destroyed!
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,312 [all cheering]
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,063 Wow, I guess Cartman really did take care of him.
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,190 Blh-blh-blh-blh!
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,567 Terrorists is the craziest peoples!
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,235 [braying]
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,613 Oh!
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,239 I got him, I got him!
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,033 Well, looks like the Taliban and Bin Laden
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,117 are finally out of power.
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,577 Yeah, you don't need us anymore.
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,953 Hey, wait a minute.
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,371 Y'know, you guys should know one thing:
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,248 Most people in America are good people
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,042 who just try to live day by day like you guys do.
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,418 Maybe if you took some time
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,086 to see all the great things about our country,
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,088 you'd see we're not so different after all.
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,381 Yeah.
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,634 That's fine, but we still hate you.
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,553 Oh...
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,513 Well, I guess maybe some day
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,933 we can learn to hate you, too.
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,436 Maybe, in time.
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,104 I'm confused.
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,527 Great job, troops.
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,863 Once again we have killed our enemies!
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,865 [all cheering]
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,659 The world is now safe thanks to you.
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:43,993 And so now, as promised,
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,956 here is Fleetwood Mac with Stevie Nicks!
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,881 All: ♪ Just like the one-winged bird ♪
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,675 ♪ Sings the song sounds like she's singing ♪
00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,676 [goat bleating]
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,885 ♪ Baby, said ♪
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,891 Come on, let's go get to the plane.
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,984 Dude, I almost thought those Afghani kids
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,902 talked you into not liking America.
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,070 No, dude.
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,571 America may have some problems,
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,115 but it's our home, our team.
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,908 And if you don't wanna root for your team,
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,827 then you should get the hell out of the stadium.
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,954 Yeah.
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,290 Go America. Go America.
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,125 Go Broncos.
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,126 Yeah, go Broncos.
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,502 Yeah.

00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,669 Помните, когда жизнь была простой и клёвой?
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:43,743 Не очень.
00:00:43,906 --> 00:00:45,282 Привет, как дела, пацаны?
00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:46,784 Баттерс! Какого чёрта ты делаешь?
00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:48,077 Я стою здесь, как обычный ребёнок. А что?
00:00:48,118 --> 00:00:51,622 Почему вы надели на себя уродливые маски космонавтов?
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:52,706 Это противогазы, Баттерс!
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:53,978 Да, если у тебя нету противогаза,
00:00:53,979 --> 00:00:55,209 то ты можешь заразиться сибирской язвой или оспой.
00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:58,128 Что? Господи Иисусе, я не хочу заразиться язвой.
00:00:58,170 --> 00:00:58,879 Что мне делать?
00:00:58,921 --> 00:01:00,839 У тебя нет выбора, кроме как перестать дышать!
00:01:00,881 --> 00:01:01,799 Перестать дышать?
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,550 Да, ты не заразишься, если не будешь дышать.
00:01:03,592 --> 00:01:04,551 Ну, хорошо.
00:01:17,356 --> 00:01:18,315 Хорошо, следующий.
00:01:21,944 --> 00:01:23,153 Следующий.
00:01:23,445 --> 00:01:25,672 Так, посмотрим - "Горяченькие", "Сочные", "Титькастые".
00:01:25,673 --> 00:01:27,157 Всё в порядке. Следующий.
00:01:29,952 --> 00:01:31,954 Ага. Какого черта ты ЭТО носишь?
00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:33,455 Это мои ножницы.
00:01:33,497 --> 00:01:34,456 Это оружие.
00:01:35,249 --> 00:01:37,126 Да ладно. Как я такими буду убивать людей?
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:38,836 Я придумаю способ. А теперь - шевелись.
00:01:38,877 --> 00:01:39,837 Чёрт побери.
00:01:40,254 --> 00:01:41,221 Хорошо, следующий.
00:01:44,842 --> 00:01:45,843 Всё чисто.
00:01:56,228 --> 00:02:00,607 Они меня найдут, господи, поймают, господи.
00:02:00,649 --> 00:02:02,609 Итак, класс. Как некоторые из вас, наверное, уже слышали...
00:02:02,651 --> 00:02:05,654 Президент попросил всех американских детей...
00:02:05,655 --> 00:02:08,657 послать 1 доллар бедным детям из Афганистана...
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:12,119 У меня есть список адресов, и мы все скинемся...
00:02:12,161 --> 00:02:14,747 Ха, я не буду давать доллар этим головам из полотенец.
00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:16,915 Эрик, афганским людям нужна наша помощь.
00:02:16,957 --> 00:02:19,501 Ну, извините, но я думал, мы воюем с этими засранцами.
00:02:19,543 --> 00:02:21,920 Мы воюем против террористов, толстожопый, а не с Афганистаном.
00:02:21,921 --> 00:02:24,298 И тебя волнует только то, что ты не хочешь отдавать свой доллар?
00:02:24,339 --> 00:02:26,675 За этот доллар я могу купить себе шоколадное молоко на обед.
00:02:26,717 --> 00:02:28,635 Ты чё, хочешь, чтоб я пил обычное молоко за 10 центов?
00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:31,263 Послушайте, это не наша вина, что террористы нас ненавидят.
00:02:31,305 --> 00:02:32,222 Мы всего лишь дети.
00:02:32,264 --> 00:02:34,558 Не мы бомбим их. Мы всего лишь дети.
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,393 В мире происходит много странных вещей.
00:02:36,435 --> 00:02:38,187 Мы просто попали под перекрёстный огонь.
00:02:38,228 --> 00:02:39,146 Это не наша вина.
00:02:39,188 --> 00:02:40,689 Афганские дети тоже попали под перекрёстный огонь.
00:02:40,731 --> 00:02:42,441 Да, но они - песчаные обезьянки.
00:02:42,483 --> 00:02:47,279 Так, дети, мы все посылаем по 1 доллару детям в Афганистан. Конец дискуссии.
00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:49,865 Чёрт побери. Я ненавижу простое молоко.
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,491 На этой неделе у нас высшая тревога из-за активности террористов.
00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,618 Правительство говорит, что плохие вещи будут случаться.
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,413 В это время мир перестаёт поддерживать США,
00:04:19,414 --> 00:04:22,166 говоря то, что они только пошутили.
00:04:22,374 --> 00:04:24,626 Эй, мам, кто-то звонит в дверь!
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:30,090 Эй, Шерон, может, тебе стоит перестать смотреть новости?
00:04:32,092 --> 00:04:34,386 Шерон, ты смотришь CNN уже...
00:04:34,762 --> 00:04:36,472 8 недель.
00:04:36,597 --> 00:04:39,183 Ты не хочешь посмотреть что-нибудь другое?
00:04:39,224 --> 00:04:39,891 Шерон?
00:04:39,892 --> 00:04:41,143 Смотрите, что мне принёс почтальон.
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,895 Это большая коричневая посылка из Афганистана.
00:04:42,936 --> 00:04:43,854 Это хорошо.
00:04:43,896 --> 00:04:44,855 Мы послали афганским детям по доллару.
00:04:44,897 --> 00:04:46,398 Они, наверное, прислали нам в ответ что-то клёвое.
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,108 У нас есть ножницы, чтобы открыть посылку?
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:49,735 Стэнли, твоя мама сейчас чуть-чуть не в себе.
00:04:49,777 --> 00:04:51,528 Почему бы тебе не пойти поиграть со своей большой...
00:04:51,529 --> 00:04:53,280 коричневой посылкой из Афганистана на улице?
00:04:53,322 --> 00:04:54,281 Ну, хорошо.
00:04:56,909 --> 00:04:58,494 Большая коричневая посылка из Афганистана?!!!
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:04,374 Чувак, что происходит?
00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:06,293 Мы получили посылку от детей, которым мы слали доллар.
00:05:06,794 --> 00:05:08,504 Они нам прислали что-то назад.
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:10,881 Показ первых проверок отрицателен, сэр.
00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:11,882 Тогда нам придётся взрывать.
00:05:12,299 --> 00:05:13,121 Да, сэр.
00:05:16,386 --> 00:05:18,097 Всё - это конец. Всему конец.
00:05:18,514 --> 00:05:20,682 Твик, успокойся, попей кофе.
00:05:26,814 --> 00:05:28,398 Открывайте.
00:05:33,821 --> 00:05:34,822 Ооо. Это всего лишь коза.
00:05:35,906 --> 00:05:36,990 Маленькая симпатичная козочка.
00:05:40,202 --> 00:05:41,078 Привет, малыш.
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:41,954 Не подходи к нему!
00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:45,499 Террористы могли заразить её язвой или оспой, перед тем как её сюда отправить.
00:05:45,541 --> 00:05:46,333 Джонсон.
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:47,084 Сэр?
00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:48,293 Проверьте козу на наличие болезней.
00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:49,420 Да, сэр.
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,260 Коза не заражена, сэр.
00:05:56,301 --> 00:05:58,157 Я же сказал, что афганские дети просто хотели нам дать что-то...
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,013 взамен за деньги, которые мы им послали.
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,516 Хех, 4 бакса за козу - нас надули!
00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:05,018 Эта территория чиста. Двигаемся дальше.
00:06:08,522 --> 00:06:09,982 И что мы с ней должны делать?
00:06:10,023 --> 00:06:11,984 Тебе придётся взять её домой, Кайл.
00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:13,652 Чувак, мне мама даже хомячка не разрешает дома держать.
00:06:13,694 --> 00:06:14,653 Кенни?
00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:16,822 Мои родители точно не разрешат мне держать козу дома.
00:06:16,864 --> 00:06:18,282 Ну, значит, нам придётся её убить.
00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:19,700 Картмэн, убивать мы её не будем.
00:06:19,742 --> 00:06:22,161 Нам просто нужно отослать её назад по обратному адресу детям в Афганистан.
00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:23,662 Пошли, коза.
00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:27,082 Блин, они закрываются.
00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:29,752 Извините, мы хотим отослать эту козу в Афганистан.
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:30,919 Не понял?
00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:32,859 Это афганская коза, ей здесь нельзя находиться,
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,757 так как она задохнётся приятным воздухом свободы.
00:06:34,798 --> 00:06:35,716 Афганистан?
00:06:35,758 --> 00:06:39,261 Мне очень жаль, но наши самолёты туда не летают.
00:06:39,344 --> 00:06:40,220 Не летают?
00:06:40,262 --> 00:06:41,318 Единственные самолёты,
00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:43,432 которые летают в Афганистан, находятся на военной базе.
00:06:43,441 --> 00:06:44,131 Извините.
00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,788 Ну, да. Военные самолёты. Пошли, коза,
00:06:45,789 --> 00:06:47,436 мы посадим тебя на один из них.
00:06:50,439 --> 00:06:53,734 Стэн, мне кажется, что мы не должны там быть. Нас могут застрелить.
00:06:53,776 --> 00:06:54,693 Мне плевать, мы едём.
00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:56,570 Не забудьте прихватить полотенце.
00:06:57,362 --> 00:06:58,822 О боже, только не Таули.
00:06:58,864 --> 00:07:01,742 Идя в незнакомое место, нужно всегда брать с собой полотенце.
00:07:01,784 --> 00:07:02,743 Да, хорошо, спасибо, Таули.
00:07:02,785 --> 00:07:03,744 Хотите пойти накуриться?
00:07:03,745 --> 00:07:04,703 Нет, мы не хотим накуриться.
00:07:04,745 --> 00:07:07,456 Вы имеете в виду, что не хотите быть в компании с Таули?
00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:08,415 Именно так.
00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:12,169 Насколько я понял - у вас здесь Таулибан?
00:07:16,048 --> 00:07:17,966 Черт бы тебя побрал, вали отсюда, Таули!
00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:18,967 Ну хорошо, ещё свидимся.
00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:24,765 Солдаты, мы отправляемся в Афганистан через 5 минут, выдвигайтесь.
00:07:24,807 --> 00:07:28,185 Пошли, мы должны посадить козу на один из этих самолётов.
00:07:28,227 --> 00:07:29,978 Разве это не захватывающе, Тони?
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:31,730 Наконец-то какое-то действие.
00:07:31,772 --> 00:07:34,483 Я слышал, что сразу после посадки там будет USO шоу.
00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:37,069 Да, будет. Выступать будет Стиви Никс.
00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:39,571 Ооо. Стиви Никс. Я её обожаю.
00:07:40,989 --> 00:07:41,990 Всё чисто, пошли.
00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:46,954 Эй, вы! Какого чёрта вы здесь делаете?
00:07:50,374 --> 00:07:52,042 Извините, мисс Никс.
00:07:52,084 --> 00:07:53,877 Эй, чуваки, это Стиви Никс.
00:07:53,919 --> 00:07:54,878 Ух ты!
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,089 Можно с вами сфотографироваться?
00:07:57,131 --> 00:07:58,090 Мисс Никс, посмотрите сюда.
00:07:59,591 --> 00:08:01,815 Мисс Никс, не хочу вас беспокоить,
00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:06,265 но не могли бы вы быстро спеть песню "Fleetwood Mac" для нас?
00:08:10,394 --> 00:08:12,938 Это было отлично. Великолепно!
00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:14,440 Когда я об этом расскажу сестре, она офигеет.
00:08:14,481 --> 00:08:16,900 Ну, всё, мы должны отвести мисс Никс на самолёт в Афганистан.
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,026 А можно нам...
00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:19,987 Извините, мисс Никс больше не отвечает на вопросы.
00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:21,905 Конечно, мы понимаем. Проходите.
00:08:21,947 --> 00:08:24,491 Она отлично выглядит.
00:08:27,077 --> 00:08:28,078 Оставим её тут.
00:08:31,874 --> 00:08:33,354 С тобой всё будет в порядке.
00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:34,835 Ты прибудешь в Афганистан часов через 20.
00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:36,524 Стэн, ты там скоро закончишь свои слезливые прощания с козой?
00:08:36,525 --> 00:08:38,172 Мы хотели бы уйти отсюда, пожалуйста?
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,081 Хорошо.
00:08:39,381 --> 00:08:42,176 Хорошо, "Танго" - всё чисто. Пора выдвигаться.
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,135 Сукин сын.
00:08:43,177 --> 00:08:44,678 Подождите, здесь дети.
00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:51,393 Чувак, похоже что мы едем в... Афганистан.
00:08:52,895 --> 00:08:55,397 В Афганистан? Закрытые в маленьком пространстве на 20 часов.
00:08:55,439 --> 00:08:56,982 Что может быть хуже?
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,100 АФГАНИСТАН
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,869 Добро пожаловать в Афганистан, пехотинцы.
00:09:19,911 --> 00:09:22,580 Подготовьте своё снаряжение и придите в казармы в 09:00 часов.
00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:23,790 Сэр, так точно, сэр.
00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:28,294 Господи, это было ужасно.
00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:29,295 20 часов.
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,290 Какого чёрта?
00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,550 Картмэн там перданул, и нам пришлось этим дышать 20 часов.
00:09:34,592 --> 00:09:36,803 Не так уж и сильно там воняло. Вы преувеличиваете, пацаны.
00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:39,597 Я ничего не чувству... Боже...
00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:45,478 Да какая разница!
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,409 Картмэн, сукин ты сын!
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,189 Нельзя пердеть в закрытых помещениях, когда там сидят другие люди.
00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:50,483 Ну, извините меня, в следующий раз я вежливо попрошу свой пердеж...
00:09:50,484 --> 00:09:50,982 ещё чуть-чуть подождать.
00:09:50,983 --> 00:09:54,278 Ладно, ладно, давай отведём эту козу домой.
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,072 Мы должны найти эту улицу.
00:10:02,495 --> 00:10:03,995 Блин, какое парашное местечко, чувак.
00:10:03,996 --> 00:10:06,185 Похоже на восточный Денвер, Господи Иисусе.
00:10:06,186 --> 00:10:08,375 Неудивительно, что террористы родом отсюда.
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,586 Если бы я здесь жил, я бы тоже был такой взбешенный.
00:10:10,587 --> 00:10:12,088 Эй, смотрите, вон такси.
00:10:15,508 --> 00:10:17,093 Привет, нам нужно сюда.
00:10:20,304 --> 00:10:21,973 Бля, что это за грёбаные "Флинстоуны"?
00:10:25,977 --> 00:10:27,103 Это правильный дом?
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,688 Вроде да.
00:10:34,485 --> 00:10:37,113 Привет, мы из Америки...
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:39,699 Мы слали вам доллар. 4 доллара.
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:41,284 Вы нам прислали эту козу.
00:10:41,285 --> 00:10:42,285 Козу?
00:10:43,494 --> 00:10:44,495 Заберите её, она нам не нужна.
00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:46,497 Вам нужно что-то другое? Коза - это всё, что у нас было.
00:10:46,498 --> 00:10:47,914 Ваша страна разрушила всё остальное.
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,458 Чувак, это не значит то, что мы неблагодарные,
00:10:49,459 --> 00:10:51,002 просто никто из нас не может её у себя держать.
00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:52,503 Она задыхалась прекрасным воздухом свободы в Америке...
00:10:52,504 --> 00:10:55,089 И поэтому мы привезли её в вашу херовую страну.
00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:58,509 Вот, возьмите этот флажок Америки в качестве подарка.
00:11:08,519 --> 00:11:09,603 Эй, какого чёрта вы делаете?
00:11:09,604 --> 00:11:11,898 Нам в школе сказали, что все, кроме террористов, любят Америку.
00:11:11,899 --> 00:11:12,899 Ха!
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,108 Как ты нас назвал?
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,696 Ваша страна - это злая империя, а правительство хочет править миром.
00:11:18,697 --> 00:11:22,200 А ваши ценности и духовность находятся в "Гух-тер".
00:11:22,201 --> 00:11:23,493 Тогда чё вы нам козу-то послали?
00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,410 Потому что у нас есть гордость.
00:11:25,411 --> 00:11:27,914 Если вы нам что-то присылаете, мы должны прислать вам что-то в ответ.
00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:30,708 Но это не значит, что мы вас не ненавидим. Валите отсюда.
00:11:32,502 --> 00:11:34,128 Эй, откройте дверь.
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,131 Я же говорил - Джавы бессердечные.
00:11:37,132 --> 00:11:37,923 Джавы?
00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:38,924 Ну, знаете? Песчаные люди.
00:11:38,925 --> 00:11:40,927 Почему они ненавидят Америку? Мы-то что сделали?
00:11:42,011 --> 00:11:44,430 Ну, чувак, мы постарались. Если в этой жопе мира все ненавидят Америку,
00:11:44,431 --> 00:11:46,307 то нам лучше оставить козу здесь и идти назад на самолёт.
00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:47,308 Хорошо.
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,688 Она следует за нами - это так грустно.
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,315 Блин, как же я тебя ненавижу, Стэн.
00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:55,316 Что?
00:12:03,199 --> 00:12:04,826 Здаровенька!
00:12:06,119 --> 00:12:08,703 Приветики из Канады!
00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:11,623 Ну, что, друзья, похоже, что нам пора домой в Канаду.
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:15,211 Что за фигню ты несешь? Я не голимый канадец и ты тоже - нет.
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,796 Картмэн, ты тупой засранец.
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,097 Усама Бен Ладен.
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,100 Молодец, жирножопый.
00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:31,519 Чувак, не смей называть меня канадцем.
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,142 "Не там, где есть Усама Бен Ладен"
00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,037 Вы должны нас выслушать, мы - не шпионы.
00:12:51,122 --> 00:12:52,622 Мне кажется, я могу объяснить,
00:12:52,623 --> 00:12:55,042 Стэн - сверхчувственный любитель животных.
00:12:55,043 --> 00:12:56,627 У него стояк на это козу.
00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:05,136 Бля, это он.
00:13:11,017 --> 00:13:12,414 Слышь, чувак, это штука называется "дезодорант".
00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:13,811 Понятно? Он не такой уж и дорогой.
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,048 Снято.
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,512 Чувак, они сумасшедшие.
00:13:49,514 --> 00:13:53,016 Всё больше и больше случаев, связанных с террористами.
00:13:53,017 --> 00:13:55,895 Мы только что получили сведения о том,
00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:58,773 что Талибан взял в заложники граждан Америки.
00:13:58,774 --> 00:14:01,651 Талибан только что прислал кассету,
00:14:01,652 --> 00:14:04,529 на которой ясно видно, что они взяли в заложники...
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:05,529 Стиви Никс.
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:09,117 Стиви Никс вроде в порядке, хотя её местоположение неизвестно.
00:14:09,118 --> 00:14:13,621 Шерон, ты не видела Стэна за последние... пару дней?
00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:15,414 Да, только что видела.
00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:16,415 Понятно.
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:18,734 Пока Стиви Никс в заложниках,
00:14:18,735 --> 00:14:20,837 остальные члены группы "Fleetwood Mac" были спрятаны...
00:14:20,838 --> 00:14:22,839 чтобы Талибан не мог до них добраться.
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,049 О... они забрали Стиви Никс?
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,259 Сволочи, бессердечные сволочи.
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:32,223 Хорошо, солдаты. Берите свои пушки и Библии. Мы вытащим мисс Никс оттуда.
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:38,146 На видео видно, что Талибан схватил ещё и 4 американских детей...
00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:40,648 Хотя они могут быть всего лишь французами.
00:14:40,649 --> 00:14:42,441 Мы должны им помочь.
00:14:42,442 --> 00:14:45,445 Они не шпионы. Они просто хотели отдать нам козу.
00:14:45,446 --> 00:14:47,737 Да пошли они на хрен. Они злые американцы.
00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,949 Я знаю, но если мы не будем помогать невиновным,
00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:52,952 тогда мы будем ничем не лучше американцев.
00:14:52,953 --> 00:14:55,328 Помогать американцам? Это бред.
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:59,750 Чувак, мы сейчас говорим по-английски. Разве это не бред?
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:02,753 Ладно, пошли.
00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:37,931 Что вы здесь делаете?
00:15:38,056 --> 00:15:39,099 Тихо, мы пришли вас спасти.
00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,142 Я думал, что вы нас ненавидите.
00:15:40,143 --> 00:15:41,143 Так и есть.
00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:45,730 Картмэн, что ты делаешь?
00:15:45,731 --> 00:15:47,441 Я пойду разберусь с этим козлом.
00:15:47,442 --> 00:15:48,733 Картмэн, он сумасшедший.
00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:51,737 Он не сумасшедший, а идиот. Я знаю, как таких ставить на место.
00:15:54,656 --> 00:15:56,950 Ну чё, Бен Ладен?
00:15:59,661 --> 00:16:02,956 О, уже 5:30. Пора молиться.
00:16:19,556 --> 00:16:21,767 Мы должны идти быстро - американцы атакуют.
00:16:21,768 --> 00:16:22,434 Куда нам идти?
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,233 Ложись.
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,204 Сволочные американцы!
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,832 Заткнись, пацан. Америка не начинала эту войну.
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,833 Именно она её и начала.
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,335 Она её начала пару лет назад,
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,338 когда построила свои военные базы на святых землях Ислама.
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,733 Ой, смотри - там неверующий.
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,702 Маленький, неправда ли?
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,705 Так вот из-за чего всё это...
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,127 Хмм, на вкус как цыплёнок...
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,420 как жопа цыплёнка!
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,926 Мы идем, мисс Никс. Держитесь!
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:37,640 Так, с меня хватит. Нам говорили в школе и по телеку,
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,643 что большая часть Пакистана и Афганистана любят Америку.
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:43,646 И вы поверили? Не только Талибан ненавидит Америку.
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,022 Около трети мира ненавидит Америку.
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,024 Но почему? Почему треть мира нас ненавидит?
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:51,028 Потому что вы не осознаёте, что треть мира вас ненавидит.
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:53,030 Это бред. Вы просто лохи.
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:54,031 Вы лохи!
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,032 Вы лохи!
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,838 Вы действительно думаете, что ваша цивилизация лучше?
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,840 Ваш народ убивает зверей и угнетает женщин.
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,841 Это всё равно лучше, чем цивилизация, которая
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,593 смотрит, как миллионеры идут по красным коврам...
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,345 на церемонию вручения "Emmy".
00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,346 Тут они правы.
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,352 Она у меня! Стиви Никс со мной!
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:11,358 Вот ты где. Где ты был? Нам ведь надо снимать антиамериканское видео.
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,321 Торопись, иди в гардероб.
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,324 Быстрее, быстрее.
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,328 Дорогуша, ты выглядишь замечательно.
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,747 Пошли. Камеры уже готовы.
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,499 Итак, начинаем.
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,752 Вот твой микрофон.
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,727 Мы это сделали. Талибан уничтожен.
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:51,065 Надо же. Картмэн действительно поставил его на место.
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:54,068 Террористы - это психованный народ.
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,156 Я убил его, убил его.
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:02,034 Ну, похоже, что Талибан и Бен Ладен остались без власти.
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,035 Мы вам больше не нужны.
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,038 Эй, подождите, есть кое-что, что вам стоит знать.
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,040 Большая часть людей в Америке - хорошие люди,
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,667 которые просто живут, так же, как и вы.
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,962 Может быть, если бы вы присмотрелись к хорошим вещам в нашей стране,
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:15,256 вы бы заметили, что мы не так уж и сильно от вас отличаемся.
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:15,755 Да.
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,758 Да. Но мы всё равно вас ненавидим.
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:24,848 Ну, со временем, может, и мы научимся вас ненавидеть.
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:28,269 Может быть... Со временем.
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,272 Чувак, я ни фига не понимаю.
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,004 Хорошая работа, солдаты. В очередной раз мы убили своих врагов.
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:43,007 Мир может спать спокойно, благодаря вам.
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:47,470 А теперь, как и обещалось, "Fleetwood Mac" и Стиви Никс!
00:21:04,279 --> 00:21:06,489 Ладно, пошли на самолёт.
00:21:15,498 --> 00:21:16,217 Чувак, а я уж думал,
00:21:16,218 --> 00:21:18,376 что эти афганские дети убедили тебя, что Америка - это плохо.
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:22,172 Нет, чувак. У Америки, может, и есть проблемы, но это наш дом. Наша команда.
00:21:22,213 --> 00:21:23,694 А если ты не хочешь болеть за свою команду,
00:21:23,695 --> 00:21:25,175 тогда тебе лучше свалить на фиг со стадиона.
00:21:25,176 --> 00:21:26,176 Да!
00:21:28,178 --> 00:21:28,887 Вперёд, Америка!
00:21:29,012 --> 00:21:30,180 Вперёд, Америка!
00:21:31,306 --> 00:21:32,307 Вперёд, Бронкс!
00:21:32,515 --> 00:21:33,308 Да, вперёд, Бронкс!
00:21:33,309 --> 00:21:33,891 Да.
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:39,000 Переведено Нормундом shadowtrooper@neonet.lv

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